#the others can live (haha). for now
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Bold of JKR to assume we'd find Snape unattractive, based on her description of a hook-nosed, black-haired, sallow-skinned, thin dude
Miss ma'am.
I am Italian. That is what most men in my country look like. That is literally what my dating pool is.
Ma'am.
Please.
#severus snape#pro snape#personal#this is of course a longer; more serious discourse#like - I grew up in the UK#and of course I looked nothing like your average UK child - given that I also could be described as Snape is#(and many other nationalities and ethnicities too of course)#and now I live in Italy for the first time in my adult life and I'm realising - yeah she was just describing the average man in my ends#and I could discuss the xenophobic implications of that description (which there is plenty of)#or I could go my usual 'haha I'd pounce in that man' route#I have made my choice lol#that description could also apply to my dad but honestly we're not opening that partivular can of worms today
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miscellany (again),, tags in the last image by @pyrotechnicarus
#adamandi#vincent aurelius lin#quincy cynthius martin#ambrose wellington bassford#portia elizabeth harper#beatrix valeria campbell#bit of nonsense bit of sillies (ohhh she thinks she's so funny huh.. anyways the brainrot. out out out)#please don't ask me about them take them at face value laugh and move on or smth i keep worrying i've read them Wrong#these have been living in my head rent free for a week and i'm now evicting them politely#anyway i drew all these as scribbles in my sketchbook in-between exam week and today i wanted them out of my head. so digital it is#i've spent two hours on this haha as a. would you even guess. a break from the beatrix thingy i've been planning because that one's rendery#quiet little notes on this... um.. i have started drawing quincy (idk how!!!)#yknow after the last ambrose literal study. i'm kind of mad about the fact that doing an unintentional study Worked???#like. he's the ONE character i have a grasp of how to draw. everyone else is 'randomly whack until you get the vibes and vague structural#integrity'. can we talk about shape language real quick though because ambrose is oval beatrix is circle quincy is rectangle#vincent is square and portia is triangle. that's how it is in my head.#texture wise. vincent is charcoal and graphite. ambrose is traditional painting blended. beatrix is crosshatching and ink.#quincy is like... marker? and watercolour. portia is digital and cell shading. i can't explain any of the correlations they just Are#for the. oddly detailed quincent i Wasn't intending to draw i had to pull up the musical and re-reference them. could draw one then not the#other?? so i struggled with quincy until i Got them and then i couldn't for the life of me get vincent right.... is it something about like#drawing one character at a time? like there's only room in my mind to understand one set of proportions at any given moment???#a fun little fact was just that i began photo refs as always from hahnji jang's page (which has been? saved in my search autofill now??) an#i didn't even have to get a specific image of quincy being in angst. but for smiling vincent i had to purposefully find oh ms reporter#well! consider this yet another part in the trying to figure out how everyone looks like/vibes as/gets drawn as Characters#a secret little code i keep for the stuff i make now is that i need to have something about the drawn medium that makes it unique to itself#as like opposed to a gif or screenshot or photoedit. it has to have extra meaning. and this appears two ways: one is through Implications i#the more Finished stuff. (aka poster series?) and the other one is by engaging in Ideas (generally posts. or memes/incorrect quotes/etc.)#had a really really interesting convo with a friend irl about fanart and fandoms. they were really active for genshin and stuff and so the#experiences between large and small fandoms were fascinating to compare.. i think i prefer the .. intimacy(?) of just doing what i obsess#over instead of looking for the statistics and clout and notes now. the art i make feels more meaningful and intentional that way.
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#just saw that tweet abt pink days on the set of the barbie movie & i think it made me realize why it - the marketing etc - annoys me so#'margot robbie went around collecting fines and donated them to charity haha' okay. look.#that's just the perfect metaphor for how it worked for us - me - anyone who wants to align themselves with me - when we were girls#isn't it#because you grow up and you desperately want to fit in with the other girls but you don't & you don't know why#but you're surrounded by things and people telling you what a normal girl is like & little-to-none of it is things you find appealing or#interesting. makeup and fashion and skin care. gymnastics and romance. you're told that you are obligated to be pretty#but prettiness has never been part of your perception of yourself. femininity is an arcane concept#an exclusive club that will never grant you entrance#& the only comfort you can give yourself is deciding that it's dumb anyway. shallow. vain. who cares about looks and boys and all of that#idiots that's who#but this is Doing It Wrong too isn't it? because now everyone who has taught you that you will forever fail at femininity turns around#& tells you that's patriarchal oppression and YOU'RE the bad one by distancing yourself from something that always made you feel defective#'YOU may have never lived up to this impossible standard of perfection but some ppl do and actually it's fine to be like that!#hyperfeminine traditionally beautiful women are the most oppressed group of all & finally we will stand up for our rights!'#'girls can be pretty AND conpetent' but that's not what they're actually saying. isn't it.#because performing femininity correctly is the prerequisite. a threshold you can never cross and you know that. & that's fine#but somehow that's wrong too because you're not supposed to make peace w that are you. you're SUPPOSED to want to do it right#even if you don't and never have and never will#and once again everyone is yelling at you that this club isn't meant for you. if you criticize the barbie movie you're antifeminist#if you refuse to wear pink I'll make you pay a fine#hashtag girlpower#(well im not a girl. not a guy either. and not a secret third thing. just bad at femininity.#bad at being a person. and y'all don't need to tell me you don't want me in your club#I've always known that. i just wish you'd stop expecting me to beg for entrance.)
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#solrock#now *this* is the fucker that the one raid battle NPC had in swsh that everyone hated. including me. he served only to remove lives#fuckin mashing the rock polish button the whole time or whatever it was. doing Nothing Else. i feel like a lot of people who usually did#raids offline had that fucker's name and face memorized. cuz they'd see that they got him and just give up right then and there#at a certain point i feel like offline raids were just not very viable. the NPCs they'd give you to battle with were just so bad#and some of the higher star raids you really needed the extra firepower you just couldn't get from those NPCs#but also they kinda removed a lot of the incentive for joining other people's raids considering your catch chance was lowered by like 9000%#if you weren't the host of the raid. and if you were the host the percentage chance was so high it was basically guaranteed#i don't think i ever ONCE caught a pokémon successfully when i'd joined someone else's raid. and i don't think i ever once failed to catch a#pokémon when i was the host of the raid. it's just. i dunno! i stopped doing raids at a certain point. some people can get a pokémon game#and play it long long after the main story bc they get invested in raids and shit but i just lose interest at a certain point unfortunately#as much as i enjoy the game while i'm initially playing through it#hff. anyway. i'm queueing this up the morning of june 30th‚ aka the day of my first flight in 10 years. so. this won't post until mid july#and i'll have been back for a while by then but for right now‚ me writing these tags‚ i am very Anxious#saur. haha. y'know how it is. have solrock
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How do you have kids and don’t make them do chores. I’ll never get it, man. They grow up to be one of those ppl who’s never washed a single dish before and are usually dirty and of privilege mind. Parents essentially sending their usually annoying kids out into the world to be an even further nuisance just because they don’t know how to do simple, everyday chores when they are fully capable of doing so and are able bodied.
#my younger bro is like this unfortunately the most he does is empty the trash and that’s it bro#he’s lazy and unfortunately he sues his autism to get away with Everything im so serious#it doesn’t help that mom used to baby him now he just doesn’t do anything but eat sleep and shit#we’re not privileged idk where he even got this mentality from outside of mom babying him man#rambling#but#outside of the brother ppl who live like this really are the most ugly ppl on earth to me#not pulling your own weight and helping when you can when you are physically able to and have the time#especially as an adult#you got other mfs cleaning up after you and you’re grown…… that’s….#you should be embarrassed sorry#not even talking about ppl who hire maids that’s a whole other thing but just in gen man#you are taught how to clean from a young age#you only become#a burden when you go around other ppl making messes and looking stupid when told to clean up after yourself#you’re like ‘huh? someone else was gonna do it I guess haha-‘ like noooo you did that#no one around you is your maid bro stop playing with ppl#even having a dishwasher is not even an excuse tbh like especially when washing dishes by hand is sm more effective and faster
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WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO COME OUT AS A 64 YEAR OLD MAN WHO WENT THROUGH A DIVORCE AND ONLY SEES HIS THREE CHILDREN EVERY OTHER WEEKEND
why am I 64 still seeking custody of my children?! WHY ARENT THEY GROWN?! And 3?!?! Oh no you hate me… this is anon hate
oh wait it gets worse:
AND EVEN WORSE?!?!?!
This is some serious anon hate you anon person who I couldn’t possibly know who it is….
#And no it’s not thotty#I HAVE OTHER MUTUALS#haha jk no I don’t#Except this loser anon#HEY ANON STOP MAKING CALLOUT POSTS IM JUST TRYING TO LIVE MY 64 YEAR OLD TWILIGHT LOVING SWIFTY SELF JEEZ#You’re giving me heart palpitations stop it right now#If I go down you’ll have to finish liab#You got this I know you can do it#(Just kill everyone)#(We all know you like killing main characters)#Ask
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Long time no Bud. Wow the last time I made her a ref was 2018. I experimented some with her pallet. Unsure if I like the profile head but oh well, open mouthed anime inspired profile faces are notoriously hard for a reason.
Sigh. What am I going to do with her.. my writing conundrum workshopping in tags. My tag rant mentions plot related suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope).
#my art#my ocs#ft the irises#tw suicide#tw ableism#sh e the yello one. can you tell she's thematically yellow?#as i don't care about 'spoilers' anymore because i'm doubtful i'll ever get to finish my writing stuff i'll just dump my writing hangup her#i think she's probably about 18 here (physically)#beware the in the tags plot includes suicide and ableism (in relation to the zombie trope)#Bud's voice specifically is tricky.. as Vera (the ghost) left her body (bud) when she was 10.#And vera took all knowledge (memories and words and thoughts) with her when she left.#and bud had to start mentally from scratch after rising from the dead. thus being interpreted as a 'zombie' sort of monster#Vera hatess Bud as hate of the self/ hate of the physical/ hate of the unintelligent (vera is in the wrong here. but she's complicated)#((lol can you tell why vera named herself that haha))#i want her to prompt characters/people to reininvestigate how they think of 'brainless zombie' tropes in relation to ableism but--#but i am doubtful of my writing ability and should probably change what i have going on to something less risky#originally when i was 12 and i first made them all bud was purely a chaotic antagonist. and i have def moved past that#12 yr old me expressing my suicidal idealization by having Vera absolutely hate her old body#and bud (formerly xqi for askew iris in middle/high school) being the body that was rightfully thrown away#but now that i'm past that all.. i need to make bud a character that can actually take up just as much importance as the other 3 irises#do i have the writing skills to do that? who knows.. Bud isn't even a 'main character' the way vera is. should i still try?#even if i never wind up trying and this conundrum stops me forever.. at least these blorbos can live in my head u_u#might delete the tag rant later if i feel self conscious enough about it :/#shrugs profusely#any suggestions are welcome. join me in untangling this gordion knot if u want ashdfhasdfjldf
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tttb gang seeing michael crushing on jeremy
#guys do u think i should reread tttb i think i should#<- the voice of someone who is losing it#tzu rambles#but legit he went from “haha not serious haha asshole of the week haha” to “OH YEAH SURE ITS SOOOOO COOL WE LIVE NEAR EAHC OTHER AAAHAHHAHA#and gregory pounced on that#“we're on good terms? great now i can be an asshole to you even more.”
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wait. there's a Those fic server?
it was more of a thing about 4 years ago, but yep!
Edit: if you want someone to chat to about it check the notes of this ask for an offer anon :)
#it still exists but it's kinda like#only used now by maybe 4 or 5 people who have been in it for years and post about their lives to each other like every few weeks haha#meaning no Those discussion has actually happened in ages and it's not rly alive enough to bother promoting it or something#maybe if the fic updates again someday we can think about opening it up again but rn i don't have the drive#or if you're like a friend that i dm with and want to join it i would consider it but im the only active mod left#and kinda not in the mood to need to moderate it for real#not trying to sound unfriendly just setting expectations appropriately haha it's more like a group chat with half a dozen fandom folks rn#who arent even talking about death note or Those most of the time anymore#anon#ask#p
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no context no details "these days ppl can't Work Through Conflicts or they don't Try hard enough & this is why Communities are broken :(" how is it meaningfully different from "look at the divorce rates Today vs in the '50s :( everyone just throws marriages away. Women aren't having Kids everyone just throws Families away"
"oh these days people can think about their experiences as Trauma or Abuse simply if they Want to :( you can't even talk to anyone anymore, if you make them uncomfortable (through no fault of your own. they're too sensitive & i'm simply always Being Normal) they'll be crying victim :(" how is this meaningfully different from "ugh how can a man talk to a coworker woman anymore or even look at her. how can men try to flirt with and date women anymore :( everythinnng's misogyny ohh harassment assault oppression because you breathed in her direction :("
#i don't even value the No Context ''community'' as necessarily worthier than these Marriages & Nuclear Families#if preserving any group as a community means like ''this person doesn't want any contact w/this other person?#what Disposability Politics they're engaging in :( foregone conclusion they must 'forgive' to maintain community :)''#then what tf is this community trying to be. if it can be destroyed by the truth...if it must be maintained by kindly facilitating abuse...#even setting [abuse] aside like so do you think anyone Can't insist someone else can't have interpersonal access to them for any/no reason#if you think it's for No Good Reason then like. what Connection do you think you might succeed in reclaiming there?#z for zachariah book ending. no scenario where Anything should be ''preserved'' via authoritative enforcement (much of any other kind?)#now thinking of aplatonic people. the ''friendships'' i had where Someone decides we're friends now & i'm Mean for being like tf?#other Stock ''Friendly'' Activities that if someone initiates it's Mean to refuse. presumptions it's Unfriendly to not live up to or w/e tf#then multiple Friendships where someone's abusive. won't take No for a [i don't want to give you a shoulder massage] Will be demeaning#not meaningfully different from [ways romantic relationships are supposed to work] or [family] or [coworkers] or [classmates] orrrr#again like ''social skills'' is to neurodivergence as ''financial literacy'' is to impoverishment#''Just be normal'' like which people / what experiences / whose voices must be Excluded for a ''Just Being Normal :)'' situation#community MUST be good like uh must family? marriage? romance? love? friendship? What community. what family. etc#''ugh Everyone can call Everything trauma/abuse'' that's right. we can consider context always. ohh Everything's sexist now smhhh....#ohhh i can't even uncritically say words i always say with 0 sense of malice or harm w/o some rword crying Ableism#no not Literal rword haha. Gay As In So Stupice lol. you don't call rworded ppl rwords it's bad taste etc theoffice.png
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friendly reminder that cole is canonically one of the most socially awkward characters in ninjago <3
#i mean... i would even go as far as to say he's more socially awkward than jay ik ik y'all are booing me but jay has charisma he's good at#social interactions cole is socially stunted because of dance lol like obviously zane is the most socially stunted but that's a whole other#can of worms (haha puns) but i just get so annoyed seeing everyone make cole this sauve confident guy this is the same guy who was#humiliated as a child (triple tiger sashay) and prolly didn't have many friends growing up like Real friends and ran away and lived in the#forest/mountains for who knows how long like y'all aM I WRONG???#i could go on and on and give so many examples y'all don't even understand i have thought about this so much lol#feels like now is a good time to get this out of my drafts lol#saw a post that reminded me of it haha the post was about keeping blorbos away from a fandom bc mischaracterization <3#ninjago#cole brookstone
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Imso tired man. I'm so tired. Why do I work this hard I am so FUCKING over this shit
#this other bitch out here like haha woopsie i forgot to clock out for lunch even though ive been out for two hours :)#guess ill leave early today! heehee#YOU DONT DO ANYTHING. YOU FUCKED ME OVER YET AGAIN#i am SO FUCKING SICK of this shit. why do I have to be the one to suffer#why do i have to be the person who doesnt get a say in fuck all even though im doing THE MOST WORK#and then i have to sit here and act like she fucking knows what shes talking about wrt animals#IM THE ANIMAL KEEPER. I KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS DEPARTMENT BETTER THAN YOU#Im going crazy fucking insane right now#my coworker is out sick so ive had to do shit scheduled for three people. me. One person#and then im told shit like its just one class! ITS NOT#i have to break them up into two because its too big of a group#then i say ok we are doing reptiles over here#and shes like oh ummmm someone has it reserved for this time so can you do it in [place that is extremely loud]#and im like yeah ok fucking sure FINE#and then we get there and someone else is like ummmm we were told to est here for lunch by [her name]#and i radio her like UMMMM??????????#and shes like Oh woopsie i did tell them! you can do it at ummmm [3rd place]#im like yeah thanks for fucking wltting me know#Sorry im sorry thus is so extreme and petty but im like DROP DEAD#youve made my work life hell when it doesnt have to be because YOU SUCK AT YOUR JOB#FUCK!!!!!#YOU get to have a social life becaus you do whatever the FUCK YOU WANT#YOU get paid way more than me to do FUCK ALL#YOU dont have 30+ living beings depending on you every day#shut the fuck UP#I am so mad that i work so fucking hard and it doesnt fucking matter#so yeah sorry for starry spam but i think hes nice and right now the only thing keeping me from fucking losing it at work#along with a 1 min video of kookaburras im plahing over and over
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it's actually canon that thor will say 'i love you too' to mjolnir for listening to his rambling but not to loki who has just said he will always love him
#im like dsjhsfdbsjdbfshfhjd fs thor bro come on pull yourself together#i can't believe i HC that it's loki's death that makes thor be a better person im so right for that like literally what is this#Loki: sometimes I'm envious. but never doubt that I love you.#Thor: thank you#do u think Thor cringed internally or was he busy being caught up in the coronation and only looked back on it later#I would like to think this isn't a recurring pattern#like Thor r u seriously saying you love mjolnir for the 78th time today. you haven't said that to ME in centuries now. Thor. Look at me.#Thor like nervous chuckle idk what u mean Loki haha you're so silly with your. words. haha#Thor (internally): i'd say i love loki but that's sus. mjolnir is a girl hammer so that's ok.#like honestly Thor deserves a stabbing at this point#bet thor would drunk ramble to loki and be like thank u loki. goodnight. and then loki can hear him talking to mjolnir in the other room#''i love you mjolnir'' ''mjolnir you're such a good friend'' ''i couldn't ask for a better weapon'' thor the only tool in the room is u rn.#go say sorry to Loki#smh#''always protect jane for me mjolnir'' thor she's a mortal while your supposed-to-be-longer-lived brother has died. twice.#goodness
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various witch stuff of the day or whatever the heck
#witch hat tag#orufrey#uhh yeah just getting some stuff out of the way haha i like the first one tho. i drew something that scares me#iguin must have been involved in qifrey's thing somehow. The Lidless eye..the sight of the world..i mean i think [redacted]#and he'll be [redacted] and [redacted] will be forced to... [redacted]???!?!!?#I want to keep my theories to myself.......or do i. not being a fandom person (other than dropping my art and leaving) means i just..#combust inside by myself with ideas and FEARS FOR THAT MAN.....CAN SOMEONE HELP HIM IM SO WORRIED IM SO...#CAN YOU LET SOMEONE HELP YOU#apparently tetia's expression in the last one is hard to understand =.= she's emotional bc she cant believe they remembered#the twin hat idea. and that she's so happy. i was thinking about how she was probably qif's first pupil so there must have been a time#where it was just her qif and oru... i DO think she is hinted strongly to be trans but even if not her mystery background is probably so sad#why would qifrey even become a teacher? his goal was the brimhats. but he keeps being distracted by kids with problem pasts so#he must have only been drawn to help tetia out of a deep sympathy. it seems at that point he and oru had drifted apart#did oru decide to be his watchful eye hearing about that or did qifrey ask him? he thought that qif had given up on brimhat stuff so..#*mumble mumble* lately i also keep remembering oru saying something UNREAL in kitchen like 'we're finally living under the same roof' ????#you can't just say that. what on earth. i..... whatever. i haven't even processed like 20% of my potential emotions about them#i feel so weirdly emotional today. i stopped thinking about witch hat for zuka even tho im SO hyperfixated it is genuinely PAINFUL to stop#i stopped just long enough to watch gatsby raku.... my haachan#i'm so grateful right now that i dont have any big issues in my life rn so i can get worried about manga men and sad about actors retiring#today at least i am extremely grateful. living and being alive is so so so so weird. i hope we all make it
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#seemingly mindless figure that grabs you and it phases neatly through solid matter but you maybe don’t#trapped in a room but you know it’s in the one beneath you and it’s piling bodies and you can see bits of hair sticking up from the floor#any way it’s been a bit since I had a nightmare so visceral my body scared itself awake#I’d lay the blame on playing VR horror games yesterday but this horror wasn’t exploratory#very messed up the way you never get closure or an explanation in a dream#just your mind taking full advantage of an REM cycle to say#wouldn’t it be fucked up if this were real?#And the answer is yes#very fucked up#do not under any circumstances put me back in that room please#I had a moral imperative to try to rescue folks in the nightmare but now that I know they’re fake dream plot points#fuck ‘em#The other guy I was trapped with said the figure was ‘growing something’ out of the pile of living human bodies#haha yeah no#no thanks#not going back in there I think I’m getting a cup of coffee now thanks
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(Out of nowhere, you are approached by a familiar lightbulb-headed Cog.)
Ah, it's you, cat. Thinking you're oh-so-slick. Muttering and whispering under those raggedy whiskers of yours... Thinking I am unable to hear it all...
Well, you've simply underestimated my fantastic hearing. You probably want to know the reason why I'm here, taking a 'break' from my incredibly important scientific breakthroughs? It's quite simple, really!
(She gets close, and squints her eyes.)
I know what you are.
Farewell, now!
(She then leaves the way she came from.)
(Spam giggles immensely, covering her face... it always seems like she's giggling, isn't she? This lasts... at least thirty seconds. Longer than usual.)
And I know what I am too, Sparky! You broke through something, that's for sure. Really, broke through...
(She looks down, continuing to laugh nervously.)
You know, I find it odd you Havent tried to bulb blast me into the stratosphere by now. I mean knowing how you acted with Frostbite. Is there something peculiar about me that you perhaps can't quite track? Something about me that you... don't know what I am?
I know, I know, I'm talking to nobody again. But you were there when I had a moment today with the one the only Frostbite The Bravecog. You may be remaining. Lurking in the shadows. Knowing about these thoughts that I'm thinking.
(The giggling resumes, lasting far shorter this time.)
Your brother's a piece of fucking barp, by the way
(She braces for impact for a few seconds, wincing while smiling, before comically looking around to realize nobody's there. She sighs.)
Wow, okay maybe toony superhero show logic doesn't apply in this situation. Cool.
WAIT I JUST FUCKING REALIZED WHAT SHE MEANT but like. Dude if she meant that then what's the point I mean the whole ahh sellbot department barping knows unless you're Really low on the ladder. Heheh... maybe she did mean what I thought she meant.
Oh i'm so fucking screwed. What kind of bitch gets filament fever
#bright spark#<- for finding this again later. haha i called her sparky#the way she talks fucking tickles my brain so much im so . ohguohguohoghog SHE#SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG you see i was in the mindset that i would do this one little thing and then i would do my work which uh.#that leads to so so SO much procrastination. including on fun things! oh so fun things.#today was an event.#i also spent quite a bit of time ruminating i “would she really say that” is worse when shes literally you#to clarify. she is spam's aunt by like. building standards. not really in her found family. so its fucked up but as i said in discord this#is like. a “your mom's kinda hot” level crush. you know. also sorry i really wanted to say filament fever its been eating at me okay#nothing SERIOUS the way my f/os (and spam's f/os (plural now?? i guess?? if today was a canon event)) are#honestly mark still feels like the only real one with her to me but damn it. if spam's reflecting My Changes then she's Reflecting My Chang#spam in toontown unlike my other sonas is the most “its just you again” out of all of them and thats partially because her main#cog connection... is frostbite. they bounce off each other like we literally bounce off each other and damn it shes been so stagnant on her#own because of it. mark happened and she mirrored that because i kept fucking talking about him while we were in character and ideally#i should TRY to fix her. but also man because i'm not doing Serious lore stuff with her i dont. even know if i want to.#i kinda brushed it over the rug by saying that she relies on her constant entertainment so readily because she herself still doesnt feel#like she has a place outside of cogs only. sure she's in high roller backstage sure she's in allan's family now but shes not Doing anything#with herself the way that her friends are. mole's a ranger. frostbite cohosts. wishes... has chip. and something she doesn't have--#living and fully growing as a toon. rather than being haphazardly slapped into a world. and in some respects she's envious of frostbite#finding themselves so quickly because she distracts herself because she's still kinda struggling with it. despite everything. yes she lives#happy and carefree a lot of the time but she keeps buying those dumb phones because when she's truly alone... her mind starts to wander.#that's what mark is for. so that spam can dream of a world where she has a purpose. even if its fake and fragile and just nothing compared#to the great friends that she already has. where she feels like its worth it doing something when she doesn't have anyone. and in that#respect. with the goons ma allan parallels in sonboy the spam cathal parallels shine. seeking tv (and to a lesser extent games) as a#method of escapism. even when one's life is already pretty good. because there's nothing else worth doing without friends or family.#the internet isn't just cool. it gives her something to be when it seems like everyone is something but her. and maybe thats a lazy#excuse for why it seems like she doesnt HAVE anything to call her own but that but damn it i'm trying my best to twist it around.#spam has such a HISTORY yknow? even if it feels like i havent established her much.#spam is the hearts to frostbite's spades not just because they're the duo of all time but because spam's fake stupid love keeps her going#sorry i just started rambling in the tags of this post about spam it. happens. she loves her friends so much i need to reiterate that okay
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