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f-oighear · 1 month

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The Big Black Clover Fanfic Recommendation Post

I've been talking about making that post since forever and I think I've finally finished compiling them!

So. Grab a notepad. Take out your TBR list. Get ready to bookmark or mark for later. And let's go.

I guess I should start with a few disclaimers 🫡

I haven't read every fic out there and there are notably a few fics I know I'm going to love but haven't started yet. I think I'll update the post regularly.

The fics on this post are fics I enjoyed and remember having read. considering how many things I forget on a daily basis, it means a lot.

I have my favorite characters, tropes, and themes and this will definitely show.

I'm attempting to organize the fics in categories but ofc some shippy fics also have feels or are angsty or are fluffy, same for the AUs... An attempt is made to organize them based on the vibes I remember (I’ve read some of those literal years ago).

If you're in this post and you think I've put your fic in the wrong category: don't hesitate to reach out!

For the shippy fics, I have my favorite ships but I'm a multishipper sooooo there's that.

I'm recommending oneshots, multichaptered fics, entire AUs, series and fics that are unfinished and probably never will be. Do keep that in mind if you don't like reading abandoned works (you'll be missing out but I can understand).

Let's start! It'll be a long one.

General/Feels/Character studies

💜 Threads, Solarwitchwrites

Vanessa is a stitch witch. She is the best stitch witch of her generation, possibly in an age. But she has one power she doesn’t brag about: she can see the threads of fate that bind destined souls together. It’s rarely been useful, often it’s painful; but sometimes she gets to watch something amazing unfold.

💜 A World Without You, Acacia_May

Vanessa grows concerned for Finral when he begins to act tense and distant after they return from the Forest of Witches. In her attempts to comfort him, however, she may find some comfort of her own.

💜 Teammates, Cour104

Still adjusting to her newfound freedom after escaping from her cage and the Witch Queen, Vanessa has a nightmare. Finral is there to help her through it and remind her that she's no longer alone.

💜 You're Not Alone, IAmStoryteller

For Noelle, there has always been one person in her corner. For Mimosa, there has always been one person that made her want to be better. Noelle Silva and Mimosa Vermillion are cousins, but they are also each other’s greatest support.

💜 It Used To Be So Simple (Once Upon A Time), WildFlowerWoods

A collection of short stories about the childhoods of various Black Bulls, among other things, containing my own headcanons.

💜 fated, orphaned

Some Magic Knights are bonded by something stronger than just kinship. (Charlotte x Yami, Asta x Noelle, Nozel x Vanessa)

💜 Think about it (series), thoughtfullyrainynightmare

This is a collection of short drabbles that exist to give insight to the canon characters presented in Black Clover from my personal perspective. This is about how I see them

AUs

🩷 Black Bulls Pirate AU, Firefutte

An infamous pirate crew sails across the sea's waves. Many rumours and stories exists of this crew. Always one thing they all have in common and that's the tale describing them as chaotic, lawless and crazy hooligans in dire need of mercy from the gods. In reality they're simply living as them, chaotic, lawless and crazy hooligans they may be, but this ship's crew have found a family amongst each other in a world that denied them such comfort for years. And they would have it no other way if you asked them, such is the reality of The Black Bull.

🩷 Mimosa & Noelle Ideale AU, IAmStoryteller

Seven-year-old Noelle and Mimosa run away from home while traveling with their grandparents. Meanwhile, 16-year-old Zora is trying his very best to be a Super-Wizard and takedown corrupt Magic Knights. But one day he runs into two little girls who clearly are nobility, but also who need help. This changes everything.

🩷 Black Bulls Steampunk AU, IAmStoryteller

The Black Bulls Crew is about to officially retire from being sky pirates. After years of working together and becoming a family, they agree that it’s time for one last hurrah to prove that they are the best of the best, especially after they heard about a map for the infamous treasure of Elf King.

🩷 New World, Bulls99

Following a second devastating defeat to Vanica, Noelle expects to die peacefully - painfully, but peacefully. Instead she wakes up in a world where everything seems upside down. But how much is really different?

Romance

❤️ Ubi Amor, Ibi Dolor, Supernaturalgrant

“He’s dumb as fuck.” She asserts bluntly. It surprises an honest laugh out of Nozel, which seems to amuse her slightly. “You know that, right?” “I can’t force him to be with me, Mereoleona. Even I am not that high-reaching.” He tells her honestly. Or- Fuegoleon and Nozel break up when Nozel is promoted to the Silver Eagles captain, neither of them really knows why. (Fuegoleon x Nozel)

❤️ Running Out of Time, IAmStoryteller

On the day that elves reincarnated and Zagred the Word-Devil nearly gained a physical body, something went wrong—Zora Ideale and Kirsch Vermillion wind up in a time loop. They have to relive the horrible, long day over and over again, while reluctantly working together to figure out why. (Zora x Kirsch)

❤️ The Clover Kingdom in Chaos: A Dire Tale, Mamavino

Over a month after defeating Lucius Zogratis, new troubles lie ahead. When Sol comes knocking on Yami's door in a panic because Charlotte is missing, he acts indifferent at first. But what happened after their tea-drinking date? And is it true that she has been trapped by a curse again? Yami puts every effort into finding out what happened and sets out to find Charlotte. Noelle Silva falls into a strange sleep. Rouge, Vanessa's cat, is now attached to young Silva's life. Nozel insists on having his sister in the palace. But that also means opening the doors to the Black Bulls. This will certainly provide some challenges. In addition, all the spirits are falling ill, and everyone seems to be in a total panic. Mereoleona, Asta and a small team sets out to seek out the cause and solution to all this. Is it all connected? In the library they will find help, or is it an enemy After all? (Charlotte x Yami, Nozel x Vanessa, Mereoleona x OC, Fuegoleon x OC)

❤️ Night of Vows, Vilandel

She kissed him again, more deeply this time, smiling as she felt him giving in to the kiss. As they parted, she poked his cheek and said with a smirk, “Consider this a vow I just made.” (Nozel x Vanessa)

❤️ wildest dreams (because falling's not the problem), IAmStoryteller

Yuno/Langris/Mimosa series (Yuno x Langris x Mimosa)

❤️ This Was A Mistake, JaylinnW

“You really think this will be a restful break,” the larger man grinned. “You are in for a surprise. You will not be getting much time to relax,” William opened his mouth but Yami stopped him. “I’m not talking about that, Goldie Guts.” He paused, smirking. “Well not only that. I’m talking about the fact that we brought all our idiots with us. I know my bulls- shit’s gonna hit the roof.” “It won’t be that bad I’m sure,” William moved away from his boyfriend to get up from the bed. (William x Yami, minor Nozel x Vanessa)

❤️ Masquerade, IAmStoryteller

The Masquerade Ball hadn't happened in many years in Clover, but that changes when Julius Novachrono decides that it's high time to bring back some old traditions. (Asta x Yuno, Nozel x Vanessa, Finral x Leopold, Magna x Nebra, Fragil x Luck, Zora x Kirsch, Letoile x Gordon, Gauche x Grey, Rill x Charmy)

❤️ Green, Pink, and Grayscale, juviin

Soulmates are a thing of the past, or at least, they should be. So why does the youngest child of the royal Silva family see no colors? (Asta x Noelle)

❤️ Now All My Dreams are Melting on the Asphalt in the Heat, IAmStoryteller

Vanessa Enoteca, the lead singer and guitarist of the Punk band Arresting Dark Weave, is asked by her mentor/friend/first love Yami Sukehiro, the lead guitarist of The Black Bulls, to compose songs for his and Charlotte Roselei’s wedding. Except, she has got to work with Charlotte’s friend Nozel Silva, the First Seat Cello Player of the Clover Kingdom Baroque Orchestra, who just so happens to a composer. Can Vanessa and Nozel create some amazing songs for the Yami/Charlotte wedding in time? Or will it go up in smoke? (Nozel x Vanessa)

❤️ MUSIC CONNECTS ALL, UNLESS IT'S OFF BEAT, orphaned

In Noelle's defense, it was all Kahono's fault. Noelle so happens to be listening to Kahono's rant before she gets into this entire complicated situation that had just happened, (fuck fate, by the way), and now she had dug a hole too deep to get out of. Who the hell was Tchaikovsky, what the hell was a quarter note, and why are there eighty–eight keys on a piano? To think it just started with a simple walk on the beach. (Kahono x Noelle)

❤️ Children of the Future, LightNova

When Yami and Charlotte had been summoned to see the Wizard king they had not been expecting to find out they had a 19 year old daughter from the future! Nor had they been expecting even more children from the future to appear in their world shortly after her. Just what was going on, and who was sending them here and why? (Charlotte x Yami, Finral x Vanessa, Zora x Nebra, Gauche x Grey, Fuegoleon x OC, William x OC, Julius x OC, Yuno x OC, Asta x Noelle)

❤️ I'll Be Home for Christmas, HotaruGFC (JaclynGFC)

Charlotte gets an invitation to a wedding, and she can't go alone. (Charlotte x Yami)

❤️ Oh What Am I Supposed to Do Without You?, Supernaturalgrant

“Mercury poisoning.” The silence that follows Owen's statement is deafening. The occupants of the room share looks of utter confusion. “That’s like saying Fuegoleon has third-degree burns from that cool ass fire arm situation he has going on.” Yami’s the first to break it. Or: Nozel is diagnosed with mercury poisoning and forced to give his magic up until the can find a cure. Chaos ensues. (Fuegoleon x Nozel)

❤️ Paper Hearts, KaLolasFantasyWorld

Helena Drazel is a twenty five year old Royal from Diamond Kingdom. She's a charming and cheerful woman, ready to leave the sheltered embrace of her family's estate. Her mother previously a Clover citizen and an old friend of late Acier Silva, gets her daughter an invitation to study healing magic in the Capital. Because of that friendship Helena is placed under the care of Royal House of Silva. However the siblings, especially the eldest Nozel, are not so fond of her at the beginning. (Nozel x OC)

❤️ Boys will be Embarrassing, loafingdragon, subtleassiduities

A series of stories documenting Fuegoleon and Nozel's totally-not-gay-completely-serious very-manly escapades over the years. (Fuegoleon x Nozel)

❤️ Damn Eyes, musicalinny

The first time their eyes met he doesn't notice that he actually gave a damn. (Zora x Nebra)

❤️ (Not) At first sight, BBRosenfeld

Finesse is bethrothed to the son of the Vaude family, and she doesn't really mind. However, she was not expecting how much he'd grow on her. (Finral x Finesse)

Fluffy, Funny, Fix-it

💚 Flower Crowns, Angeliccharizard

During an off day, Asta decides it's a great idea to bring a devil to a church

💚 Owen vs The Black Bulls, WildflowerWoods

Owen has seen a lot in his time as a doctor in the magic knights infirmary, even more since his promotion to head of the royal infirmary, overseeing both the magic knights and ordinary patients. he has dealt with his fair share of stubborn visitors, people hiding injuries and patients trying to escape out the window—Lord Julius himself was a common offender for the last of those—but even treating Mereoleona Vermillion's self-inflicted burns was better than the Black Bulls. There was nothing that could have prepared Owen for the Black Bulls.

💚 Why Asta (and Liebe) are Banned From the Kitchen, Bluemeanies

After Yami's katana becomes Demon Slicer and joins Asta's grimoire, Asta and Liebe start looking for other things that could be good anti-magic weapons. Liebe might be taking the concept a little too far.

💚 Early Black Bulls (series), Acacia_May

Early Black Bulls Days

💚 An Impossible Decision, MysticalShizz

Mereoleona’s head pops into view, first taking in you, then turning to observe the small girl perched on your hip. Her look of confusion slowly morphs into disbelief, then into incredulity. “Did … Darling. Did you steal the Silva’s youngest child?” Fix-It fic where Mereoleona and spouse reader adopt Noelle.

💚 Ghosts, IAmStoryteller

Julius has a bit of a secret. He can see ghosts of his dear departed friends.

💚 Doggy Days, Undefeated_Lionmess

Yami sends Vanessa, Finral, and Charmy to explore a dungeon. Only two of them come back still human. Finral supposes he’s had worse days.

💚 That One Time When Julius Was Late, wintermelon_soldier

"We're late... again," Marx said with a worried expression. "Don't worry, Marx. I'm sure everything is just f-" The Magic Emperor pushed both doors open hoping to greet the Captains only to be welcomed by a vast wasteland. The conference room where it once stood is replaced by a large, empty landmass with no trees or building in sight. "W-what in the world is happening?" Marx cried at his mentor.

💚 The Vice-Captains of the Magic Knights (series), IAmStoryteller

The Vice-Captains of the Magic Knights series

💚 Teenagers, Kaitouahiru

Yami was going to talk to Julius about the recruitable age of Magic Knights. Make no mistake, Yami did not care that fifteen year olds were being put in dangerous or life threatening situations. He didn’t care that they could be drafted to go to war if the situation called for it. He cared that almost none of these brats knew how to do basic home skills.

💚 faith bleeds through the cracks, TellNearaToWrite

Yami knew three things. First, that being a squad captain was shaping up to be a lot like fatherhood, and second, he was definitely not cut out for that shit. Third. Well. Julius had a lot to answer for, that was for sure. The least he could do was help a bit.

Angst!

🧡 Geranium, Azuvist

The flowers in Yami's lungs never really stopped growing. (Yami x William)

🧡 Black Clover: The Blood of Fate, ChanceQueen

In a dark alternate universe of the clover kingdom, there is one question that no one ever wanted to ask, let alone know the answer to. A question that wraps its claws around you, ripping scars that cannot be seen and will never heal. What if Vanessa had never manifested the red thread of fate?

🧡 Megicula's Curse by MaryJoeycoco

After everything, the Black Bulls thought they were safe. They thought Noelle took care of the devil Megicula. They soon realize how wrong they were. Now it's up to Asta to save her but he soon realizes how his feelings change about Noelle through the nightmare land. (Asta x Noelle)

🧡 Lumiereward by Cyrooo

Nero misses home. (Always).

The Silva Fics™

Yes, they get their own category. It's the birb siblings. They deserve it.

💙 Artifice, subtleassiduities

When a retrieval mission traps Nozel with a dangerous and powerful artifact, Nebra and Solid struggle to find help before time runs out for him. But their attempts are thwarted by a widespread, rapidly progressing phenomenon: Everybody in the Clover Kingdom is forgetting about Nozel Silva. Their only choice is to depend on one another-- and Noelle, the only other person who can hold onto a memory of their dear brother. Their rescue mission forces them to face their own memories, twisted against them in ways they may not be able to overcome.

💙 Casa Silva, Mouxe (SPANISH)

Conjunto de historias que comenzo para mostrar la relacion de Acier Silva con sus hijos durante la infancia pero termino convirtiendose en relatos de la relacion de los hermanos silva.

💙 Lay Beside Me, Under Wicked Sky, Avacelt

Noelle leaves, and the chips fall where they do. [Silva family!fic, post-canon]

💙 The Boy Who Played with Water, BeamMeUpCas

Nozel only becomes aware of the extreme lengths his siblings were going to torment their youngest when Nebra, of all people, appears sweaty and disheveled in his office, stuttering and stammering about how Solid has Noelle trapped in a water bubble in the rose garden and she isn't moving Or: Solid nearly drowns Noelle. Nozel flips his shit and becomes the halfway decent big brother he was meant to be.

💙 My Father Told Me (series), succulentsunrise

My Father Told Me is a series, which attempts to understand the effects that the Silva parents must have had on their children, and how the age gaps and personalities between the children themselves affected their relationships.

💙 Make an Effort, IAmStoryteller

Solid isn’t very nice or kind or gentle. He knows this, but when he is hit with the realization that Nozel and Nebra might not know that he loves them, he sets out to show his love and appreciation for his two older siblings. And maybe, extend an olive brand or two…

💙 What Yami Saw by BeamMeUpCas

Nozel needs a favor. Yami will maybe not hold it over his head for all eternity but he'll take great delight in letting Nozel think he will.

#black clover #fic rec #massive post

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wastelandroses · 9 months

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Even though I’m a multishipper most of the time, I wouldn’t be fine if MiIeven was canon after the events of ST4, vol. 2 more specifically, and how the love triangle was handled overall. The sentence “I don’t care which one will be canon as long as all of them are happy” has been very common around circles that love both couples, MiIeven and Byler, but I can’t bring myself to agree.

I wouldn’t be fine if MiIeven was endgame after Will’s feelings were used as a prop to mend it. El should have herself told Mike how greatly she feels about him, or Will shouldn’t have to urge Mike to say “I love you” if the relationship was to be fixed. (However, I think they are doing this for a reason, but this is beside the point.)

Will is a gay boy in the 80’s, lives in a small conservative town that already hates his family. On top of that, he is terrified of coming out. Amongst everything else he has gone through, he does not need a storyline where his romantic love for his childhood best friend is neglected, turned into a plot device in favor of restoring a hetero relationship.

If they wanted to make Byler as an example of a tragic unrequited love, there are other ways to do it that doesn’t reek homophobia (and queerbait). The love triangle is not just a mindless fandom battle between who is better for Mike (or who he “actually loves”) like any other heterosexual love triangle in media. There is a difference between the two outcomes. One of them being filled with homophobic and disgusting writing choices that led to cause more unnecessary pain and trauma for a queer character and the other is a hopeful, refreshing ending along with another step forward in queer representation that the mainstream media lacks.

insp.

#the fandom is still pretty much hibernating but just wanted to throw my two cents #hopefully this was comprehensible because i cant write #this is mostly based on my experience on twt #you don't see much multishipping here which is kind of a shame or not really #st fucked up and now were all praying for the best #rip miIeven it was fun while it lasted #aus headcanons are fine and normal but were talking about canon here #i'm saying this with the utmost love #el is my favorite character so idk what to tell you except #if your boy is only encouraged to say ily after your gay brother says so MULTIPLE TIMES i would dump him #byler #anti mileven #stranger things #st (mine)#ship discourse #<- block the tag if you're annoyed #at times i'm too #rose posts

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terra-sketches · 4 days

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A random multishipper's interpretation of some JJK ships

Gojichi – Jennifer x Needy (from Jennifer's Body) kinda ship, When asked why he’s with Ijichi, Gojo probably says the Jessica Rabbit “He makes me laugh” line, The mutual trust!!!

Nanago – Coworker Romance, Opposites attract, Queer platonic perchance?

SatoChoso – and they were both switches!!, almost PAINFUL slow burn with lots of misunderstandings but once they’ve overcome some differences they're a pretty great duo

Gohime – I can see them learning how to move on from their pasts together, also consider this: Rival teachers!!, honestly they'd make good friends if they sort out their canon grievances

Satosugu – Best friends to exes OR The highschool situationship they never got over

Sashisu – “Hey, let’s all kiss no strings attached!” and then the strings attached

Itafushi – Opposites attract: the remix, devoted to each other

OkkoYu – “Omg they tried to execute you too? No way, we have so much in common!”, alternatively: the weirdest people you know are dating now

NobaMaki – Black cat x Orange cat

YutaMaki – “Yeah, I’ll help you bury the body”

TogeYuta – Yuta’s bi awakening

ShoUta – They do taxes and laundry together, drunk ladies laughing too loud at the bar

Sukugo – Freak4Freak, they fight each other just for the thrill of it, I think it’s funny to imagine Gojo responding to Sukuna’s courtship offer with a “LMAO?? Chat, is this real?”

#terra talks #jjk #I've been really vibing with the shipping landscape of Jujutsu Kaisen and now I'm making it everyone else's problem #i think I'll make another one of these with more pairings but who knows

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nostalgicatsea · 4 years

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Common questions about and excuses for racism in fandom

I noticed that the same excuses, justifications, and questions that have come up in response to racism in fandom over the years appear in the notes for my post, so here’s a FAQ of sorts to address them. Hopefully, this will help people understand why these arguments don’t stand up to scrutiny and have something to refer to in lieu of writing a new reply every time someone says these things.

Due to the length of this post, I made a Google doc for easier reading. Please note that several points are specific to the Marvel fandom and to the post linked above and are often M/M-focused (I explain why in that post), but generally speaking, the following can be applied to any fandom and various relationships.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

I can ship whatever I want. Stop being the fandom police!

Shipping isn’t activism.

Fandom is supposed to be fun. Being told what to do or not to do isn’t fun.

I put a lot of different people in my works, and I do research about the groups they’re in. For example, I have a *marginalized group here* character (e.g., disabled), and I did research to represent them accurately. It’s not fair to say that I don’t care about diversity.

I don’t think people should write about POC if they’re white, just like I wouldn’t want anyone to talk about *insert topic you’re passionate about or interest group you’re in here* (e.g., the BDSM community) if they didn’t know anything about it.

I really don’t have any knowledge about what it’s like to be a POC, though, so maybe I’m not the best person for this. If POC want to see themselves represented, they should make their own works.

I’m not comfortable with writing POC as I’m unfamiliar with the struggles they experience. I don’t want my writing to come off as inauthentic, inaccurate, or offensive. Why are you saying it’s harmful to use this as a reason for abstaining from writing POC?

It doesn’t make sense to include every single POC in my work.

What you said and the data you have don’t necessarily point to racism. It might just be individual preference. I prefer certain ships over others, and it has nothing to do with race/I don’t see color.

A big part of what informs my shipping is physical attraction or interest in the characters.

I don’t ship _____ because I see them as brothers/sisters/siblings.

Some white characters and ships are popular in the MCU fandom because people bring in canon characterization or material from the comics to the character(s)/ship. Your MCU-only examination fails to account for ships with one character from the MCU and one from comics (e.g., MCU Bucky/616 Clint or Spideypool).

Some subfandoms just have fewer POC which means there will naturally be fewer ships featuring POC. To say that the Marvel fandom is racist as a whole is disingenuous; you can see how more diversity in the cast leads to more diverse ships in fanworks.

Some of the characters and ships are popular because white characters get the lion’s share of screen time and development or they appeared in canon earlier.

Is it racist to racebend a character?

Racist language in fics is more important than fandom representation.

My fanworks tend to focus on one ship and don’t really include other characters in general. When they do, the others mostly talk about that relationship. Am I falling into the trap you mentioned?

I feel guilty about not including or writing about *character of color’s name here*.

How do I ensure that I don’t offend anyone if I include POC in my work?

What should I do to examine myself for any implicit biases?

The rest of the post is under the cut.

I can ship whatever I want. Stop being the fandom police!

As explicitly stated several times in my post, I agree that you can ship whatever you want. I’m not targeting a specific ship. I’m not telling you to stop shipping what you ship. All I’m asking is for everyone, including myself and other POC, to regularly examine ourselves for any implicit biases. If you’re a multishipper, are all of your ships in the fandom white? If you only have one ship and it’s white, are most or all of your ships in your other/previous fandoms white? Is the only media you consume predominantly or all white?

Shipping isn’t activism.

No, it isn’t and in many cases, shouldn’t be seen or treated as the same thing. However, by responding this way to POC who want to see themselves represented in fanworks more and not be ignored or written stereotypically, you’re telling us that our mere existence is a “political issue.”

Fandom is supposed to be fun. Being told what to do or not to do isn’t fun.

It should be fun for us POC too, and it’s not when we’re consistently misrepresented or we don’t exist in this fandom. By using this as an excuse to exclude POC from your works, you’re saying that only some people are allowed to have fun or that having fun is conditional. Also, no one is forcing you as an individual to do or not do anything. See two paragraphs above.

Just like you do research for those groups, you can easily do research on POC. Also, please be aware that this statement is similar to the “I’m not racist because I have a ___ friend/have a ___ person in my works” argument that many people use to prove they’re not racist, homophobic, sexist, etc. We aren’t interchangeable with other groups.

Something like BDSM is a lifestyle and preference. It is a choice. Being a POC isn’t. We can’t take off our identity every time we leave the house, the way you might keep it secret at work that you’re in the BDSM scene.

We do. Also, all of us fanwork creators make works with characters who are different from us all the time. Fandom is largely composed of people who aren’t straight cis men, yet the bulk of works on AO3 features characters who are canonically or implied to be straight cis men even if we end up changing that in our works. Most of us aren’t billionaires, but we don’t have a problem writing Tony. We don’t know what it’s like to be a WWII-soldier-turned-brainwashed-assassin who was kept in cryo for decades except when deployed on missions, but we don’t have a problem writing Bucky. The list goes on.

Your concern isn’t harmful. Reducing us to our trauma is, and you’re doing that if the reason you’re not comfortable with writing POC is that you don’t know how to write our struggles. We’re not only our pain. We’re more than that.

Not every fic has to be about the trauma of being a POC. We deserve to have fun, silly fics in addition to serious, plotty drama. We’re not thinking about our suffering 24/7 even if we do think about or are affected by it a lot. It’s not like if you write a Sam/Bucky fic, Sam is going to randomly lecture Bucky about the history of Black people in the U.S. and modern enslavement through the prison industrial complex while Bucky is trailing kisses down his neck in bed. We don’t need everyone being racist to MJ in a Pride and Prejudice AU. If you do want to include their struggles because that informs the way the characters think or act in your story, you can do so in ways that feel organic.

Additionally, this is an excuse that we hear often; you may have heard it as people in Hollywood have used it to explain why they don’t have any, or at least any major, characters from marginalized groups in their works. If we allowed this excuse, an overwhelming majority of who we see in the media would be straight, cis white men considering who has power in the film and TV industry—and we would have to say that’s okay. We would have to say that the only people allowed to write about a certain group are members of that group, e.g., only women can write women. That’s not acceptable especially considering the gatekeeping, oppression, and high barriers to entry and success that make it difficult for marginalized people to even be in the room let alone make a name for themselves.

Fandom is no different. You’re saying that you can’t relate to POC because you’re white, but none of us POC have any problems making fanworks with white characters even though we don’t know what it’s like to be white. There are straight women who write fics about gay men and don’t feel uncomfortable doing so when they don’t know a single thing about being a gay man and the struggles of gay men (M/M can include bi or pan men, fics about gay men by straight women can sometimes include problematic portrayals, and straight men, queer women, and non-binary people write M/M too, but this is just an example).

You should be more careful when writing a POC if you're not a POC. The same goes for men writing women, cis people writing trans people, straight people writing queer people, able-bodied people writing disabled people, etc. However, there ARE ways to go about it, and while I understand the fear of messing up, the truth is everyone is racist, sexist, etc. Everyone including people in marginalized groups. Being a white lesbian doesn’t mean you can’t be racist. Being an Asian man doesn’t mean you can’t be sexist. You can see that within groups themselves. POC are not exempt from racism against other POC or from internalized racism against themselves or their own group. Women aren't free from internalized misogyny. The best we can do is to not make that prevent us from making inclusive works; if you make a mistake, which may happen, all we can ask is that you try your best to be open to feedback and grow.

It doesn’t make sense to include every single POC in my work.

No one is telling you to. Choose characters who make sense for the story. Don’t choose them just so you have a POC in your work. We don’t want them to be tokenized.

This argument is identical to the “not all _____” rebuttal (“not all men,” “not all white people,” etc.) which places the blame on a few lone individuals and shifts the conversation away from an existing widespread problem. When there’s a consistent pattern and there are many examples of it both within the fandom and in other fandoms, it no longer is about individual preference.

I urge you to consider the following:

If most people say they don’t write about or include a POC in their work because it’s too difficult or they’re afraid of making that character inauthentic, but they don’t seem to have an issue with writing other characters from groups they’re not in (e.g., if you’re a straight woman who writes a lot of M/M fics despite not knowing what it’s like to be a bi, pan, or gay man), doesn’t that say something?

If most people have the same reasons you do about not being interested in POC (e.g., “they’re not fleshed out enough” while being interested in or fleshing out minor white characters who get the same or even less development as those characters) or ships with POC (e.g., saying “they’re like brothers” while being interested in a white ship with similar dynamics and tropes or seeing why other people might ship it if you don’t), doesn’t that say something?

If most people give characters of color the same roles in their works even if that makes them OOC and/or the role reduces them to a (frequently stereotypical) trope, especially if they’re never fleshed out beyond that trope (e.g., the funny sidekick, wise friend who always helps or gives advice/free therapy, or responsible, mature, and sometimes stern friend who “parents” the protagonist), isn’t that saying something?

If race truly isn’t a factor for you when it comes to liking characters and ships, then this isn’t about you and you don’t have to distract people from the conversation by announcing that. That said, we should all look at characters and ships we like anyway instead of assuming that’s the case as that’s good practice. How much of your list is white? If it’s mostly or entirely white, why is that the case and why do you feel differently about ships of color?

A big part of what informs my shipping is physical attraction or interest in the characters.

What characters and actors do you find attractive or interesting? Are they all or mostly white? If they aren’t, are you drawn to any ships that include those POC? Refer to the section above.

I don’t ship _____ because I see them as brothers/sisters/siblings.

Part of this is preference as it comes down to perceived chemistry and relationship dynamics. However, POC are often not seen as romantic leads both in fanworks and the media and are just friends or “brothers/sisters” (this is why Crazy Rich Asians was a big deal). Sometimes, people even argue against POC being or having love interests in the name of diversity. You see this a lot with WOC in the media where the explanation against a love interest is “she’s a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man”; yes, they don’t and sometimes the story doesn’t need a romance, but WOC deserve love too and it’s strange that while white women can get the guy and be independent, WOC can’t and it somehow belittles or reduces them if they do.

The way you can gauge whether it’s just preference at play or biases you may not have been aware of is to see how many relationships featuring a character of color fall under the “just friends/siblings” category for you, what you need to ship something, and how you feel about white ships with the same type of relationship or same lack of chemistry. For instance, you may say that there needs to be enough interaction for you to ship something and that’s why you don’t care much for Rhodey/Sam. Do you feel the same way about Clint/Coulson then, which has much less interaction (actually much less than Rhodey/Sam in this case)? If it’s about chemistry, are Steve and Sam just “brothers,” but Bruce and Thor aren’t or, if you don’t ship Bruce/Thor, you still “see it” and get why other people might be into it?

What do you ship, or what ships do you understand even if they’re not for you, and how is that different from ships that follow the same beats? Why are Steve and Bucky not brothers, but Rhodey and Tony are (there are many parallels between the two relationships—and one can argue the latter is more nuanced—than appears at first glance, and Rhodey/Tony can be just as sweet or angsty)? If you like the rivals/enemies-to-lovers or meet-ugly aspect to Steve/Tony, Sam/Bucky, Scott/Jimmy Woo, and M’Baku/T’Challa have that dynamic. You like that superior/subordinate-to-lovers dynamic that Clint/Coulson has? Coulson/Fury. Flirty meet-cutes or love/trust-at-first-sight? Steve/Sam.

I explained why I focused on the MCU here and that most of the fics that feature an MCU character and comics ’verse character tend to be heavily or entirely MCU-influenced here.

Also, characters of color exist in the comics, cartoons, and games too. By this logic, Steve/Sam and Rhodey/Tony should be juggernauts in the MCU fandom considering the depth and history of the characters and relationships. Ask yourself why people are happy to ship MCU Spideypool, to draw on the comics for that relationship and even bring a non-MCU character into the MCU and write him based on his comics history and characterization. Ask yourself why people are unhappy with MCU Clint’s terrible writing and lack of characterization and decide to give him his 616 (usually Fraction-era) characterization. And then ask yourself why people don’t do that for characters of color and then use “___ is a minor character/doesn’t have much development” as an excuse for why they’re uninteresting or not shippable with others.

There are many strong and interesting relationships in the comics, but only a few make it to the MCU fandom and almost all, if not all, of them are white.

It’s more important to see how many fanworks there are for ships of color in a fandom than how many ships of color there are in that fandom. See how few works there are for POC ships other than MJ/Peter in the MCU Spider-Man fandom despite the diversity of the cast. See how the most popular ships are white and three of them involve white characters from the Iron Man fandom (explain to me how Harley/Peter has over 1,000 works, but Ned/Peter has 436).

And sure, you can say almost all of the Black Panther ships feature a character of color so there’s “more” diversity, but see how few works there are for them and how works with a white character fare compare to POC-only ships (almost all have 100-200 or fewer fics, with many having so few that I didn’t include them in the post, while BP ships with a white character have more works despite little to no interaction between the characters).

Both of these, by the way, are critical and box office hits with characters who are clearly supposed to be the faces of the MCU now that the OG6 are gone. Black Panther is an award-winning critical and box office hit, and it is, more than any other film in MCU history, a huge cultural phenomenon with tremendous impact. It broke so many records and milestones, and it’s STILL breaking and making them. It has the most nuanced and balanced ensemble cast with side characters just as three-dimensional as the lead, a rarity in MCU films. Yet, its tag only has 3,966 works, fewer in total for the whole fandom than some of the white M/M ships on this list. Even if you account for BP fanworks that may have been tagged as MCU instead of BP, the number is paltry as you can see in this post. People simply do not want to make fanworks for characters of color (in this case, specifically Black characters) and don’t. It’s not about how diverse or successful a film is.

Some of the characters and ships are popular because white characters get the lion’s share of screen time and development or they appeared in canon earlier.

Yes, that’s true, but fandom has no problem catapulting white ships with minor characters into extreme popularity. See Clint/Coulson. See fics prioritizing Happy and having him show up more than Rhodey in Steve/Tony fics.

It’s not about chronology. Many ships of color came before white ships as a whole and before white ships with the same white character they have. See Bucky/Clint vs. Bucky/Sam.

Lastly, please don’t tell me how certain white M/M ships came to be to explain how they’re exempt or how I’m failing to consider other factors for their popularity. I’ve been in the fandom since 2012, and I’ve seen almost all of the white ships in the fandom be born or boom into popularity. Don’t try to explain, for instance, that Clint/Coulson is big because Coulson has his own show and his fans followed him from the show (this logic falls flat when you look at something like Luke Cage); that ship became huge way before that happened and way before Agents of Shield became “big.” Also, see the section above regarding screen time, development, and fame.

Is it racist to racebend a character?

People’s opinions differ on racebending—and often that comes from personal background and on the situation—so I can’t speak on anyone’s behalf. However, I think everyone can agree on the following:

Racebending a white character is not the same thing as whitewashing a POC. For example, making Tony Stark Indian vs. turning T’Challa white or as canonical examples, making Fury black in Ultimates and the MCU vs. making the Ancient One or the Maximoffs white. The latter (whitewashing T’Challa, the Ancient One, and the Maximoff twins) is racist for various reasons. There’s a long history of POC being erased and white people taking roles from POC, a huge imbalance in representation between white people and POC, the unfortunate perception by the public and media that “white = neutral/standard” (Bruce’s whiteness doesn’t define his characterization and development), and the way race plays a role in influencing the way POC feel, act, and are treated.

Racebending a POC from one ethnicity or racial group to another is also problematic as we’re not interchangeable. Hollywood often does this and goes, “But they’re still a POC! We’re being diverse!”

In general, people who racebend white characters to POC want to see more POC in canon and in the media! These aren’t mutually exclusive.

Sometimes people racebend because they’re not represented at all in their works. (This happens with other marginalized groups too; for instance, some people make cis characters trans in their fanworks as there are few to no trans characters in the canonical source.) For example, there are, as of now, no Latinx superheroes in the MCU films. Even if people wanted to, they can’t make works with an MCU Latinx superhero unless they bring one from the comics or the one Latinx superhero from Agents of Shield (if they know the comics or AoS), make a minor Latinx film character like Luis a superhero, or racebend their favorite white character and put a fresh spin on the character, drawing from their personal experience and background.

There’s a massive difference between fans racebending a character and a creator taking credit by pretending they viewed a character as non-white or didn’t see race all along when it’s clear that the character is canonically white (this is different from a creator saying they support anyone, POC or white, playing that character onscreen or onstage).

Racist language in fics is more important than fandom representation.

We don’t have to pick our battles. Both are important! I focused on fandom representation as it’s much more quantifiable and easy to find and analyze data for than racist language on a fandom-wide scale on my own without any tools. You’re right that the latter is a problem as is racist representation in fanworks, though.

My fanworks tend to focus on one ship and don’t really include other characters in general. When they do, the others mostly talk about that relationship. Am I falling into the trap you mentioned?

If the story is about a relationship (examining that relationship and the feelings of the characters in it) and there isn’t much of a plot outside of that, then that makes sense. However, even in situations like this, consider how much time you dedicate to characters of color vs. white characters. If the story is about a ship featuring a POC, do you spend more time on the white character of that relationship? Their white friends and how they feel about that relationship? If it’s about a white ship, do white side characters appear more than side characters of color even if the latter have a closer relationship with the protagonists? For example, does Wanda show up more than Sam or play a bigger role than him in a Steve/Bucky fic? Do you have Pepper show up all the time (or even Happy), but Rhodey is chronically absent? Do only the white characters get to be more than the tropes you’re using, if you’re using any, while the POC don’t get to be nuanced? Are there any stereotypes that you’re reducing the POC to?

I feel guilty about not including or writing about *character of color’s name here*.

See “It doesn’t make sense to include every single POC in my work.” Include the character(s) who make sense for the story, perspective you’re writing/drawing from if applicable, and central group or ship if this is a ship-specific work. For example, if you’re drawing the Avengers and you include the newer Avengers, Rhodey and Sam should appear too, not just Wanda, Scott, Bucky, and/or Carol (this happens a lot). If you’re writing a Tony POV fic that includes other characters, depending on the story, it may make sense that Sam doesn’t appear much as he and Tony aren’t close whereas he would in a Steve POV fic.

How do I ensure that I don’t offend anyone if I include POC in my work?

You can’t ensure anything as POC aren’t a monolith, but you can try to be as informed as possible and avoid common pitfalls while writing. You can do research, just the way you might research anything you’re not familiar with. You can ask if anyone is willing to do a sensitivity read while you write or before you post. You can look for betas. There are a lot of resources out there, but these are good places to start if you’re looking for more information and help:

Writing with Color - resources

Writing with Color - Stereotypes and Tropes page

Reference for Writers - POC tag

What should I do to examine myself for any implicit biases?

We should all take stock of:

our feelings about different characters and relationships, both platonic and romantic, who we prioritize in our works, and how much they’re prioritized

our decision whether or not to seek or make content with characters of color. This includes content for white ships because sometimes every white character in the MCU shows up as a side character, but characters of color don’t or all of the white characters play bigger roles than the POC despite how close they are to the protagonist(s)

the way we interpret and write/draw those characters. For example, is Sam a yes-man? A figurative or literal therapist for white friends? The bro who only cracks jokes and/or gives sage advice but seems to not have any flaws, struggles, or life of his own outside of his white friends? The BFF who thinks his white best friend is being ridiculous about another white guy and wants them to get their act together already? Does the character of color talk in the way you perceive everyone of that race to talk rather than the way they personally do (e.g., does Luis randomly and awkwardly switch into Spanish when he talks just because he’s Latinx despite never speaking Spanish with Scott? Does Sam use AAVE with Steve, Bucky, and Natasha when he doesn’t do that with them?)?

Also, here’s a Google doc with more anti-racist resources.

Even well-meaning people can slip up or not be as proactive as they hoped they would be so it’s just good practice to check in with ourselves every once in a while and see if there’s anything we missed or didn’t notice.

#fandom #marvel fandom #mcu fandom #resource

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gingerwritess · 5 years

Note

An idea (if you’ve not already written this) Loki and Elliot both have the flu (or severe cold) and Loki just knows he’s gonna die from this Midgardian bug. Reader is trying to take care of both before she gets sick too.

i can’t—this whole concept cracks me the feck up, thANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“I never realised that the ever-nearing release of death would taste so sweet.” His voice is muffled under a pillow as he struggles to pull yet another blanket up to his chin. “I expected a bitterness, a dying, stale bitterness, but not this…”

“Ah yes, this ‘elixir of approaching death’ is bubblegum flavoured.” You sigh and open a new box of tissues, sticking them in the corner of the bed near his head as you take back the little cup of cough medicine. “All we had was the kids version, I quadrupled the dosage for you. You actually think this stuff tastes good?”

“Taste is an abstract concept,” he moans, a hand emerging from the pile of blankets to grab a tissue before retreating back into hiding with a hugely exaggerated sniff.

This is getting ridiculous…although it is a tiny bit refreshing to see your god of a husband taken out by something as trivial and as human as a common cold. The poor guy had woken up with a scratchy throat and had nearly blown a hole through the roof—“there’s something in my throat!! My throat, my throat, there’s something in my throat that I didn’t put there—DARLING, IT HURTS—”

Sore throats are apparently unheard of on Asgard. As are stomachaches, cramps, fevers, stuffy noses, and the overall idea of snot.

“I should have appreciated taste while I still possessed the ability to do so. I don’t believe I’ll ever know senses again—not that it will matter.” There’s a wet honk as he blows his nose. “Becau’de I’ll be dead.”

“…you’re not dying.”

“Life…death…such a fickle thing,” he practically sobs, clamping the pillow down over his face. “I never thought it would end so soon. I-I had so much more I wanted to achieve, I had thousands of years left to live!”

“Again, not dying.”

“Shhh. At least I will die by your side, my love.” He peeks out from under the pillow and reaches weakly for your hand, his eyes red and puffy. It’s hard to take him seriously right now, being so over dramatic and with two wads of tissue stuffed up his nose, but you give him a sweet smile and take his hand.

Ew, he’s all cold and clammy.

“You’ve given me everything, my love,” he sniffs and holds your hand tightly, trying for a weak smile. “Our time together has changed who I am, and…and I owe you everything.”

“Mhm. Are you seeing a bright light yet?” You brush a few sweaty strands of hair from his forehead and he melts into your touch, closing his eyes.

“Yes…yes, I see it! Should I chase after it?” His eyes fly open and he becomes fixed on the ceiling fan, eyes going in circles as he follows the blades around and around and around—

“Stop watching the fan, you’ll make yourself throw up,” you sigh, leaning down to press a quick kiss to his sweaty forehead. “Bleh. Okay, I’m going to go check on Elliot. Oh, and that’s just the bedroom light, not death’s door.”

“Don’t leave me,” he pleads and reaches a hand out to you. “I always knew I would die alone, but-but I want your heavenly smile to be the last thing I see before I go.”

You roll your eyes and turn back around, dropping your head against the doorframe with another exasperated sigh. “Loki, for the last time, you’re not dying. You’re both going to be fine, it’s just gonna hurt for a couple days.”

“Denial, you’re already in denial, darling,” he wails, flopping back onto the pillows and spreading his arms wide in defeat. “My time has come and all I can wish for are your lips, just once more, I beg of you…”

“You are such an idiot.”

He lifts his head to look at you, his eyes pleading and pained. “Hush, please, just kiss me once more and send me off with the taste of you lingering on my fading lips…”

Shaking your head with a small smile, you walk back over to his bedside and he flops back onto the pillows, reaching for you with weak arms. “Please don’t make me kiss you.”

“You wouldn’t revoke the wish of a dying man, would you?”

There’s still tissue shoved up his nose.

You take the empty little cup of medicine and the box of tissues, holding it out to him. “Blow your nose like a proper human and maybe I‘ll reconsider.”

You’ve never seen such a sad, utterly defeated look in the eyes of a man before. Loki gives a violent cough and throws an arm over his eyes, staggering his breathing with a groan. “Tend to my son with care. Send him my eternal love, you immortal mortal.”

Somehow you had managed to evade this wave of flu season and Loki just can not comprehend how he has been so beaten by this “measly virus” while you, a proud every-morning orange juice drinker, had by some divine power been able to survive. Elliot got hit hard, and you think he’s the one who brought the sickness home, considering he spends most of his days in a classroom with a bunch of sticky, slimy, sometimes even drooling little kids.

Thank goodness your child is practically perfect in every way.

“MOMMYYYYY!” Elliot’s screaming for you from the bathroom down the hall. “I THREW’D UP!”

Practically…perfect…

“Don’t go into the light, babe,” you sigh and give Loki another kiss on the forehead, immediately gagging when you pull away and wiping off your mouth. “Ew, why did I do that again?”

“Ew?!” Loki repeats as you walk out the door, leaving him wailing under his pile of blankets. “You kiss me and say ‘ew’? I’m dying, and all you can say is ‘ew’—”

“Oh my god, I’ll kiss you later.”

Elliot is laying on the floor of the bathroom, having brought his pillow and blanket in to continue his nap by the toilet. “My everything hurts,” he whimpers when you kneel down beside him, running your hand through his hair.

“Don’t you want to get back in bed, sweetie?” The tile floor can’t possibly be comfortable, but he shakes his head and rolls onto his side.

“Too hot.” His fever has finally broken, so that’s not surprising.

“M’kay…why don’t you come lay in bed with dad?” You rub a comforting hand over his back. “Your own personal ice cube, that’ll make you feel better. And I think he could use the company.”

Elliot sniffs and slowly nods, sitting up and rubbing a tired hand over his eyes. After having him rinse out his mouth and drink some water, you pick him up and carry him back to your bedroom where Loki is surprisingly sitting up…and staring at the tissue in his hands with a look of pure horror.

“My brain,” he whispers, looking up at you with wide, watering eyes, “is leaking. Through my nose.”

“…no, it’s not.”

“Then what is this?!” He waves the dirty tissue at you as you lay Elliot on the bed, helping him prop his head up with an extra pillow.

“Oh my god, Loki, throw that away! That’s disgusting!”

Elliot curls up into a little ball and scoots over closer to his dad, who’s now fallen into some kind of paralysing shock, staring blankly at the foot of the bed in horror.

“All my knowledge,” he whispers, “everything I’ve ever known, dripping from my nose. This death is cruel, cruel, to keep me alive just to watch myself go mad.”

“Wait, we’re gonna die?” Elliot pipes up from under Loki’s arm—Loki hasn’t even seemed to notice until now that his son is there, as he is far too concerned with his “liquified brain.”

“No, no, no, neither of you are dying.” You fall onto the bed with a groan, rubbing your aching temples. “I swear if you say that one more time, Loki, I’m not even kissing you when you’re better.”

“Death is only natural, Elliot,” Loki murmurs, completely ignoring you, pulling the little boy into his arms and clutching him to his chest. “I always believed we would have more time together, but—”

“You’re nOT DYING, LOKI.”

“…see, your mother can’t quite accept the truth of the matter. Don’t be afraid, Elliot. I’m with you.”

Elliot’s gaping at you, stuck in his father’s hold and absolutely terrified. “I don’t wanna die! Mommy, I don’t wanna die!”

“Loki! Oh my god!” You hiss and clap a hand over Loki’s mouth, pulling your son into a hug. “You’re not going to die, I promise. You’re just a little bit sick! Both of you.” You shoot Loki a pointed glare. “Can you just trust me for a second? You’ll start feeling better in a few minutes when the medicine kicks in.”

“You’ve drugged us.”

“Yes, Loki, I drugged you. Now shut it before I shut you up myself.”

Loki pulls Elliot back against his chest and reaches for the tissues, shoving another wad up one nostril without breaking your gaze, and even in this state of “almost death,” you swear he smirks at your threat. And when he speaks, slowly turning a frosty blue as he runs a hand over Elliot’s sweaty back, his voice is all clogged up and nasally; “I’d cer’nly die a habby man.”

“That was SO attractive.”

He waves a blue hand at his face, heaving a great sigh that‘s just screaming for your sympathy and affection.

“That’s the best I can do. My brain is leaking, and death is inevitable.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi@drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettrosella @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen

#loki laufeyson #loki x reader #loki fanfiction #loki fluff #domestic!loki #dad!loki #sick loki #loki family #loki and son #elliot lokison #elliot lokason #loki drabbles #loki requests #loki funny #fluffy loki #marvel requests #marvel drabbles #marvel loki #marvel fanfiction

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bonemarroww · 5 years

Text

To Break Silence

Finn-focused / Slight Finn x OC Summary : A fact well known among storm troopers –trainees and experienced alike– was that most of them shared the same trauma, earned from their very first lesson; a trauma that had a name: AH-‘The Element of Surprise’-0413. FN-2187, for all that he would become a man of exception, was no different.

Word Count : 4.600

AN : This is my piece for the Finntastic Appreciation Month event hosted by @star-wars-multishippers! It took a bit longer than I had planned (and is admittedly a bit rushed), for the simple reason that the story decided to kick my OC out halfway through it. It’s alright, fic, no offence taken.

. . .

Few events and fewer people marked the life of a storm trooper.

In the beginning, there was the arrival –a trauma easily fixed by a few years of brainwash-formations. In the end, there was death. No need to point out that it often came sooner than one would expect.

In between, there was existence.

When FN-2187 would give up his last breath, it would be these few events that he would see unfold behind his eyelids.

Curiously, as he would discover then, the first event that made the life of the man who would later be known as “just Finn”, was bound to one of the “fewer” people who would stand out in the sober, dark strand of his life in Starkiller Base.

A fact well known among storm troopers –trainees and experienced alike– was that most of them shared the same trauma, earned from their very first lesson; a trauma that had a name: AH-‘The Element of Surprise’-0413.

FN-2187, for all that he would become a man of exception, was no different.

13-year-old FN-2187 would learn it the hard way, with a blaster shot to the shoulder and a week of rest in the medical wing.

Long after he would become an official trooper, he would still remember the nervousness of being the first in line for ‘infiltration training’. The first few steps he had taken, the darkness of the room, what his first hiding places were and how their shadows had felt on his white armour. It was still somewhat fresh in his mind, when most of his memories from that time were foggy. Sometimes, when he thought back on it, he could still feel the excruciating pain of the energy shot in his shoulder; feel his ankles tremble as he fell on the ground, out in the open. Everything had appeared brighter yet greyer; the ground on his cheek, the barrels and pillars on his way, the blood on his arm… the number on the hidden sniper’s chestplate.

AH-0413.

This day, FN-2187 had discovered three things. First, that one should always be careful of hidden enemies. Second, that the troopers’ armours had a flaw between the arm protection and the chestplate. And third, that blaster shots hurt like hell.

Now, the young boy he was didn’t realize just then that in the impersonal armour of the sniper resided a person, a person like him, living, breathing, and serving the Order, whose mission was to shoot unsuspecting trainees like him to teach them prudence.

(And prudent he had been ever after.)

Of course, even though the concept was here, it was only a few years later that FN-2187 fully grasped it, when he made the actual acquaintance of Surprise.

As often as FN-2187 crossed path with the Element of Surprise –and the couple of time he woke up in the medical bay because of the sniper’s keen eye–, he really only started evolving around them a few years later, after he became an actual storm trooper.

FN-2187 was a discrete young man, conscious of his place in the First Order and putting his duties before socializing like some of his fellow troopers did.

This didn’t mean he didn’t hear gossip, or occasionally joined in a game in his dormitory. He shared his room with a bunch of boys he had met during training; not necessarily the best company in the First Order, but they generally let him be and it was okay with him. That is, when they were not in need of another card player.

Now, FN-2187 was no mean boy, and he never minded a game on occasion when he had time to kill until his next service. He wasn’t intentionally of the solitary kind; more like the lonely one. Somehow, he had never really “clicked” with anyone, whether during training or later.

He could have a good time, and yes, he could laugh sometimes. But never had he felt close to someone. Never had he cried, when he lost a fellow trooper; only blamed the Resistance through gritted teeth, like any other fighter did. Never had he shared any secret –did he even have secrets to share?– or feelings –that, he knew he did.

And so, on these times when he would ‘mingle’ and let himself be pulled into a game or another, he wouldn’t talk much; only listen and display his best forced smile.

This is how, years after leaving the training grounds, he saw the number again. “Surprise’s coming over tonight. We’re one player short though, so you better be ready to get your ass kicked.” Some guy had told him in the evening.

One of the boys in his dormitories, who went by the number FN-1968, had befriended a trooper a couple years older than them, some guy who had known the First Order before Kylo Ren even arrived as Supreme Leader Snoke’s apprentice. The veteran had introduced him in return to his usual circle of card players, where FN-1968 had finally met the one and only Surprise.

At this time, the only things FN-2187 had gathered from his discussions with FN-1968 was that Surprise was very lucky and even more at cards, and that she was sharing bunks with Captain Phasma. Hence the shock when on this evening, he opened the dormitory’s door to a woman whose number made an involuntary shiver run down his spine.

AH-0413.

It was about this time he ironically took to nicknaming her ‘Surprise’ like most people did throughout the base. One could still feel the grudge he was holding towards her in the months that followed.

FN-2187 hadn’t known whom he had expected to discover as the sniper. As it were, he had managed to almost forget her existence until that day. Maybe he had expected someone older, a man maybe, someone who looked like they thoroughly enjoyed shooting scared children as a pastime.

She was none of that. A bit brash, maybe, but an excellent card player. The constant smirk at the corner of her lips showed a little dimple in her cheek, and her eyes shone with more life than FN-2187 was used to see in the First Order.

FN-1968 died two years later, as skirmishes with the Resistance got more and more frequent. His body was never recovered from the obscure planet that knew his last breaths. To say his disappearance was a shock to his fellow troopers would be an overstatement, really. As was said before; few events marked the life of a storm trooper, and after a couple of losses, one learnt not to get too attached. With the years, death became a common occurrence in FN-2187’s existence; though he rarely witnessed it, what with Captain Phasma hating him too much not to constrict him to sanitation duties most of the time.

However, if he hadn’t been terribly affected by the death of his comrade, he had forgotten that someone on this base certainly was. Someone who came knocking at his door in the middle of the evening, as most of his companions had left to another dormitory for a cards evening.

“Hey, 2187. You alone in here?” the usually mocking voice fell flat as he opened the door to an unusually deflated Surprise.

FN-2187 nodded, and shifted to let her in. Most people didn’t bother giving others nicknames. AH-0413 didn’t either; but one had to admit their numbers were a mouthful.

She came in with a small bottle of an amber liquid, and a pack of cards.

“I hope you don’t mind me crashing here.”

He shrugged, and shut the door behind her. Without asking for permission, she laid down on the first bunk bed she found, which happened to be his. Had the sniper not seemed so upset, FN-2187 might have frowned. In any case; he sat down on the ground, with his back against the bed.

“It’s about 1968, isn’t it?” He tried to ask softly, but his voice came out rugged from not having talked all day.

He heard her sigh and the sound of shifting covers as she turned her head to look at him.

“I really liked him.” Her voice crackled with an emotion that felt foreign in his ears.

It wasn’t disappointment, nor was it dissatisfaction or anger. When he turned to look at her, her eyes shined with a thin layer of unshed tears, turning her irises into a similar amber to that in the little glass bottle.

FN-2187 had never seen sadness before. It was beautiful, in a way.

“I’m sorry.”

It was all he could say, really. Surprise rolled on her belly, her face squished against the hard mattress. One of her arms fell freely out of the bed, her fingers coming to brush against the dusty ground.

“At least you pretend.” She grunted. “Phasma’s being so… Phasma.”

Anyone who had to serve under her guidance for more than a day could understand without trouble what she meant, FN-2187 thought, chuckling softly. He could feel her irritation at the Captain, though there was something else too. Camaraderie, probably.

“She just gave me this…” AH-0413 went on.

She agitated the bottle in the air nonchalantly.

“… and told me to find somewhere else to mope around. I think she’s still mad at me about this time I shot her in the hip.”

The storm trooper rose an eyebrow, turning slightly to take a better look at her. AH-0413 was obviously older than him; that he had always known. But her features were still rather young, with her usually sparkly eyes and dimply smile. Surely she hadn’t already been around to train their Captain?

“You taught Phasma?” He couldn’t help but ask, the phantom of a disbelieving smile on his lips.

Surprise raised her head, a faint smirk threatening to appear on her lips. She winked at him. FN-2187 immediately looked away, in a shy act he barely noticed.

“She was a couple of years behind me. Back then she wasn’t Phasma yet, just CZ-5643, but she was already one scary bitch. I was the best shot in my year, so they offered to pay me a few extra credits to scare the younger ones into stealth. That’s how we met.”

The woman rolled on her back, and lightly threw the bottle in the air, catching it before it could fall back on her chest. FN-2187 didn’t really know what to say. He was so used to listening to her ramblings, it felt like nothing he could have to say was worth the effort of finding the right words.

For a long time, they remained silent, until his elder uncorked the bottle. When she passed it to him, after taking a long sip, the feeling of the cold glass under his fingertips felt foreign. Never had FN-2187 drunk alcohol before. It was too rare, too expensive for troopers of his rank.

As the amber burned his throat leaving a bitter feeling in his mouth, he heard her quiet chuckle. Embarrassed, the man gave her the bottle back, his cheeks warm.

When he would fall asleep this night, it would be with her laugh ringing between his ears.

The death of FN-1968 marked the beginning of Surprise and FN-2187’s friendship. Sometimes, the thought occurred to him that nothing good had ever begun on a tombstone; but at the end of the day, she would come to him. She would tell him about her eternal secrets and stories, and he would pretend not to have already heard them a thousand times. The life on Starkiller base could get dull with time. Rare were the events that stood out in their lives; for someone as desperately talkative as Surprise was, this world was too small.

Most times, FN-2187 just nodded as she talked. He didn’t really know what he had done to become her new conversation buddy, but it felt rather nice to have someone exuding life, like her, seeking his presence. When she talked to him, looking at things he couldn’t see, reliving the exciting moments she was telling him about, it felt like she had always known him. FN-2187 guessed he was just the type of person she needed. Someone who could listen. It was fine, really. He liked having someone to take his mind off things.

“Life here is covered by a veil of silence.” She used to say.

Few were those who managed to break it. Surprise always told him that he could, if he wanted to. All he needed was a word. Something.

I’ll teach you how to see what is kept invisible; she whispered in his ear one night she had embraced him before parting. To break silence.

Surprise was of those who had broken the veil, of those who filled the void inside with words and memories. Of those who entertained humanity through ramblings and meaningless stories.

And, in a way, FN-2187 admired her for that.

In the end, FN-2187 never got to break silence. No matter the years of camaraderie with AH-0413, spent listening and wishing he had the same guts, the same talent at enthralling others with stories. Surprise didn’t mind his discretion one bit; but every time she would tell him to pierce the veil, he felt like he let her down somehow.

So, well, FN-2187 never broke silence, not in the way AH-0413 did.

Whet he did was far bolder.

If asked to explain what happened to him on Jakku, FN-2187 couldn’t really express what went through his head. Why his blaster remained cold between his hands. Maybe it was the blood of his comrade on his mask, or the innocents he could see Captain Phasma firing on furiously. Maybe it was the intimidating presence of Kylo Ren, just next to them, deflecting shots and destroying everything he touched.

The world was crazy, feral, all around him; no way to escape madness as it seemed to course through his being.

The flight back to Starkiller base was hardly better. FN-2187 felt like a time bomb, ready to explode, to have words, horrid words for horrid memories, bursting out of him. For the first time in so long, he wanted to tell them, to tell everyone; to scream a about the look in the children’s eyes, the cries of mothers and the sound of stone houses tumbling down.

When FN-2187’s feet found back the familiar black flatness of the base, his mind was boiling. The sound of cries and angry howls and blaster shots drowned out his very thoughts. He saw the prisoner, the pilot, be taken away towards the interrogation cells; to be tortured until he broke. This part of the base, FN-2187 had visited a couple of times; usually, when Captain Phasma felt like sending him mop blood from the floor.

FN-2187 had never been on a mission such as this one, and if he could see most of the other troopers head for their quarters or chow, his stomach felt far too twisted to keep anything down. And so, he did the only thing he knew would help; head to the training quarters, and see if AH-0413 could maybe wrap up early and take his mind off this whole mess.

When he set foot in at the back of the training grounds, by the entrance only ever used by snipers like his friend, he didn’t find her but another corporal firing at the younger troopers. Had he been in his normal state of mind, FN-2187 would have probably just closed the door, and looked elsewhere for his friend –though he never dared, naturally, to knock at Phasma’s to look for Surprise.

This time, with the blood of his comrade still heavy on his mask, the man couldn’t care less. He needed to find her, to talk to her. To tell her about everything he had seen, lest he might become crazy.

“Captain Phasma is looking for AH-0413.” He announced as he joined the room.

This was an easy lie, well practised and well used. The bond between the Captain and the ‘Element of Surprise’ was known by most, and could excuse about anyone looking for the older woman, let it be for a good reason or for a game of cards. Still, the probability of Phasma asking about her friend remained high enough so that no one dared ask more questions than that.

“AH-0413 has been sent on a mission.” The caporal didn’t even turn his head to answer. “Before you ask, it’s classified.”

FN-2187 barely registered the man telling him that she wouldn’t be here until the next day at the earliest. He only nodded, and closed the door.

Deep inside, the words were burning.

The night was spent tossing and turning underneath his cover, feeling too cold and too hot at the same time. In his head, images flared with the colour of blood and dust. FN-2187 had never been on a battle before. He had never been the best at anything during the First Order’s thought conditioning process; especially at firing. He wondered briefly how old had Surprise been when she had been sent on her first mission. It wasn’t the same, he guessed, seeing as she was better off as a sniper. She probably wasn’t the type to be sent on guerrilla fights like they had done with him.

The night had been quiet. When most times, some of his bunk mates would have invited others for games or such entertainment, the recent loss of a few of them had cooled the atmosphere in the base.

Had AH-0413 been there, she would have probably felt the anger and hurt in him. She would have understood how upset he was, with or without words. For once, she would have been the one listening. And maybe, she would have stayed with him at night –even if it meant being teased the next morning–, like she sometimes did. He would have whispered the words in her ears, and he bet she wouldn’t have laughed or given him the cold shoulder for a few tears in his eyes.

But she wasn’t there.

When the morning came, FN-2187 made his way for the formations ground. Reconditioning. Luckily, his not participating actively in the battle was his first offence. He didn’t know many offenders, and this, for a reason.

Reconditioning was pretty much like how he remembered his first years of training. Encoded voices in his ear, telling him about the grandeur of the First Order’s purpose, and the honour he had to be a part of this organization. Words he could remember agreeing to, when he was younger; when he was lost and far from everything he had, undoubtedly, once loved. It was purpose. Something to fight for.

Something he no longer wanted to defend. Something that now scared him, if he admitted so himself.

Maybe this is how, at the first occasion he saw, FN-2187 headed for the prisoner’s quarters; and that words escaped his mouth before he even had any semblance of control on them. A part of him was surprised it even worked. FN-2187 wasn’t used to things going the way he wanted. He didn’t waste time nor stopped to think.

If he did, he was sure to realize how berserk he was going in his friend’s absence.

As he led the pilot to the TIE fighters, he did take an instant to consider backing out. He knew, somehow, he couldn’t take one more day in the First Order, and that this man, this pilot in shackles he was freeing, was his best shot at going as far away from Starkiller as he could.

That would mean leaving behind, probably forever, his one and only friend.

Later, way after receiving this four letter name that now meant so much to him; when he would think back on this moment, he wouldn’t be able to find regret in him.

It was not how life had turned out… and that was all.

Leaving, he expected The Element of Surprise to become nothing but a sweet memory to hold onto when remembering his days in the First Order.

But then again; so did everyone else.

Several times, as he escaped Starkiller with this Poe Dameron pilot, and throughout his whole adventure with the girl and the droid, his mind went to Surprise. In nothing but a couple of hours, he felt like he had obtained so much. The taste of freedom was unknown and thrilling; like the sun blinds after too many years spent in the shadows.

With this single act of fleeing the First Order, he had gained so much. A name, for starters. Finn. He had never known how a simple sound could feel so good to hear; knowing that this, if nothing else, was his. It was exhilarating.

When their TIE fighter crashed on Jakku –why did everyone seem to want to go to Jakku?– the loss of Poe nearly brought tears to his eyes. For the first time in his life, he had trusted and felt the spark of honest friendship; felt the thrill of accomplishing something in his meaningless life.

AH-0413 would have been so proud of him.

As much as his own, brand new name felt like music to his ears, that of his older friend didn’t ring the same anymore. It felt rusty, not so special as it used to; the number that had marked his first years in the First Order’s troops was now greyer, almost unremarkable.

What had happened to her fearsome name?

Or had the change happened within him?

Finn –just thinking it gave him shivers– figured she would have liked Poe, had she met him in other conditions. They were both confident, and talented. He wasn’t one for gamble, but he could bet Poe liked a game of cards.

The girl, Rey, was different. He felt close to her, of course, as close of two First Order runaways could.

But she was more of a loner, he could tell. She was all thoughts and resolution; far from Surprise’s humour and ramblings. No, she was like him, in a way. She was ‘just Rey’, in the same way he was ‘just Finn’. She was a nobody. Just like him.

If he ever met Surprise again, he’d have so many things to tell her. The world was so much bigger from where he now stood; finally broad enough for her. Just thinking about how many things she would see in it, things he couldn’t yet perceive, was giving him shivers.

In what he would later describe as the craziest day he had ever lived –and ever would know– Finn felt the seal that used to be on his lips crackle, with every word addressed to him. Not all were nice or kind, but none were as harsh and unfeeling as those you could hear in the First Order. And eventually, it broke.

He had only wished it wasn’t in front of this Maz woman, or in a bout of cowardice.

Everyone was so brave around him; it was unnerving. He better than anyone knew that the First Order couldn’t be stopped.

Maybe if Surprise was with him, she could convince them.

As much as he wasn’t expecting to meet with his friend ever again, Finn never imagined that she could die. She had been such a constant in his life; it was hard to think that she could disappear in the snap of a finger, like them common mortals. She was AH-0413, the ‘Element of Surprise’; she couldn’t be gone.

When he heard of the Resistance’s plan on destroying Starkiller entirely, two thoughts fused in his head at the same time. One was fresh, coming from the raw panic his mind had been into for the past few hours.

Rey was there. He had to find her, to get her out before they killed her. He wasn’t sure who they would be; but he wouldn’t let her die in the crossfire between the First Order and these hopeful idiots.

The other was more of a passive realization, one that had been slowly built as General Organa’s counsellors and fellow resistant fighters elaborated on how to destroy a weapon of destruction.

AH-0413 could be there.

The plan was crazy. Simple, yet crazy. Land on Starkiller at light speed, survive, get Rey, survive, find Surprise, survive, make the entire base explode… Survive.

Easy.

The presence of this Han Solo guy and his… thing, with him, unnerved him to no end. The older man didn’t understand. He couldn’t, really. He couldn’t imagine the sacrifice Finn was willing to make to get Rey; the reformed trooper didn’t even dare imagine how he would react if he were to know about AH-0413.

Had he known then of Han Solo’s fate, he might not have judged the old man so harshly.

It was, admittedly, dumb luck that made them cross Phasma’s path, so she could guide them to the control panel to lower the shields. However, though the Captain was many things, stupid she was not. Through her visor, Finn could feel her narrowed gaze on him the whole time they spent in her company, before they could decide what to do with her.

“I knew you’d come back for her eventually.” Her voice was dripping with poison as she addressed the words to him. “She was certainly upset to hear how her dear friend betrayed the First Order.”

Her mean words earned her a shove against a wall, and a saber shoved threateningly towards her neck. Finn didn’t know much about lightsabers, not much more than the knowledge that this hateful woman was a pressed button away from eternal silence.

He could see where she was getting, poking Han’s curiosity, certainly hoping they would fight over the matter.

As it turns out, Finn’s morals were not Han’s priority at the moment, and so the tall woman hit the garbage compactor all the same.

Still, among the anxiety –bordering on panic– and the relief of finding Rey, a nauseating feeling held a tight grip on his stomach.

Phasma had refused to tell him where Surprise was; and as Han had so lightly put it, they were running out of time.

The thought of finding his friend faded from his head the second he saw red light tear through Han Solo. Maybe it was survival instinct, or simply the raw terror that Kylo Ren still inspired in his heart. Rey’s sadness; or maybe the fact that the base was about to blow up.

Regret didn’t even have time to settle in his heart, for he fled before he could think of what he would be leaving behind on Starkiller.

It didn’t really matter, anyway. Sooner than he could process,

The world became black.

Almost as black as the Knight looming over him.

Few events and fewer people mark the life of a storm trooper. But these people, well… Let’s just say they tend to be full of surprises. As fates are woven, their paths often cross, and don’t like to be held apart.

When Finn closed his eyes on the snowy ground, ashes were dancing in the air all around him. Some fell to rest on his eyelashes. It was a beautiful way to go, really. Yet, his last breath wouldn’t be wasted on this land of destruction.

His eyelids, heavy with memories and dreams, would lift again; the sun would blind him the same way it had on Jakku.

When he would wake up, so would the knowledge that against all odds, victory was within reach. For the first time in his existence, he would feel like living, truly living; and somehow, the future wouldn’t seem as bleak as it used to. And as his thoughts would take him to his dear white wearing, infamously lucky friend, it would be with peace and hope on his mind. She had been there, consciously or not, at most moments of his life, and he didn’t doubt that she still had more surprises in store for him.

Someday, they would meet again.

Deep down, he knew it.

#star wars finn #finn x reader #finn x oc #finntastic appreciation month #finn fanfiction

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nixie-deangel · 5 years

Note

This may seem like a lot but I'm new to the Coldflash/Coldwestallen fandom and was wondering if you had any recs? (Also your aesthetics are so pretty and I love your blog theme wow)

Thank you so much! And it’s no trouble, I love gushing about my fave fics/writers. Just, uh, remember you asked for my babbling on this!

So damn, do we have some AMAZINGLY talented creators in this fandom. We are truly blessed!

So pretty much anything written by @coldtomyflash, @crimsondomingo, @asexual-fandom-queen, @robininthelabyrinth, @katyakora, @lotusvalkyrie and @coldflashwave-baby. Some other mentions would definitely be @amuletgays, @sophiainspace, @meowitskatmofo, @sugar-haus, @stillnotginger10, @niennavalier and @pheuthe.

I’m missing so many great creators (I know I am) but I think this is a pretty good list for a newbie for the Coldflash/Coldwestallen fandoms.

Some of them are multishippers (like myself) but Hades, all are worth checking out, even if its not Coldflash/ColdWestAllen.

Below is a, uh, pretty good reading list to check out.

Coldflash:

Out Cold. - Captain Cold’s plan for a bit of fun with his nemesis results in more than he bargained for when a head wound from dashing to Flash’s rescue leaves him without any memories of who he or The Flash is. As Barry nurses Len back to health, both of them quickly start to hope that he never remembers being Captain Cold as the attraction they feel for each other turns into something more without the pitfalls of being enemies to stand in their way.

AU with everything having happened up to the Season 1 finale, except Eddie shot Eobard instead of himself, killing him, and the singularity didn’t happen.

Cover Up. - Lisa drags a disapproving Len down to The Flash Tattoo Studio to watch her get a tattoo, but during her session, Len becomes drawn to the artist, tattoo artist extraordinaire Barry Allen. After seeing the amazing job he does on Lisa’s one-of-a-kind tattoo, he decides to chance asking Barry for help covering up a secret he has, one that he wears on his back, underneath his clothes, and speaks of every foul thing his father ever did to him.

(AU with some nods to canon. Mention of Lisa dating Cisco. Barry has his speed force powers…maybe. Len’s story line is pretty much the only one that stays truest to form. Just for visualization purposes, Lisa’s about 25, Barry’s about 27, and Len’s about 32.)

Tumbling Together. - When Barry and Len discover that they’ve accidentally become neighbors, they learn to navigate their new living situation amongst misunderstandings and a surprising amount of common ground.

AKA the fun-as-it-comes Neighbors!AU which turns into a Pretend Relationship!AU filled with tropes, hijinks, and some vague notion of a plot.

Would You, Could You. - A High School AU Series.

The Flower That Blooms In Adversity (Is The Most Rare And Beautiful Of All). - When someone falls in unrequited love, flowers begin growing inside their body, gradually killing them. The flowers go away if the love becomes returned or if a surgical operation removes the flowers. However, surgery removes not only the flowers but the feeling of love itself, and Barry has never been willing to give that up.

Bad Day? - A homicide involving a trans woman puts Barry in a painful place at work, and with himself. He doesn’t expect to find comfort from Leonard Snart, of all people, no matter what feelings Barry may harbor for the other man.

There’s a Menace In My Bed; Can You See His Silhouette. - When The Flash is put under the influence of a metahuman’s heinous lust power, Captain Cold ends up caught in the crossfire. (Heed the Tags)

The Good in You (the Bad in Me). - Before Starling and before the particle accelerator, Barry meets Lisa and Leonard Snart.

In which Barry makes some unexpected friends, inadvertently launches a promising criminal career by accidentally starting a few (literal) fires, and maybe starts to fall for a certain overdramatic thief. (WIP)

Shovel Talk. - Barry warned him that people might try to give Len the shovel talk, now that Barry had decided to bring his and Len’s year-old relationship into the light. Len never said he was going to be nice about letting them.

Love Me. - A meta-human with Cupid-like powers whammies Barry to fall in love with the first person he sees. Just his luck it happened to be Captain Cold.

(“He hasn’t let go of me for almost an hour,” says Len, focusing his steel on Cisco, who shrinks considerably.

“’Cause I love you,” says Barry beside him, his teeth gleaming as he grins. He tries to kiss Len again—god, the seventh time?)

Realm of Darkness. - Barry was a young god craving chaos and Leonard was the deadly king of the Underworld seeking peace.

A Hades/Persephone AU with powers/Greek Mythology

Maybe Somewhat Out Of The Ordinary. - “That’s not a wolf,” Barry told Cisco, pretty convinced except for the small voice in the back of his mind that had been screaming at him for the past four months that there was a predator very close by. “That’s my dog.”

Hokey Religions and Ancient Weapons. - May the Speed Force be with you.

A Week on Rogue’s Mountain. - Leonard Snart has organized a special Christmas-time retreat for all his closest pals. Unfortunately for Barry Allen… there’s a secret Santa auction, and he’s on the block.

ColdWestAllen:

What We Become (Depends on What Our Fathers Teach Us). - Family dinner at the West-Allen house, featuring Leonard Snart in the role of Not-A-Father.

What Brings Us Together. - After a brief encounter with a mysterious stranger while on vacation, Iris found herself with an unexpected souvenir. Luckily, she has Barry there to support her. She never expected to run into that stranger again. To be fair, Len never expected to find out he was a father while on a morning coffee run.

I’m Covered in the Colours (Pulled Apart at the Seams). - It’s a common misconception that people can only see in black and white until they meet their soulmate.

When Barry Allen is born, he’s only able to see the colour red. When he meets Iris West in Kindergarten, she gives him yellow. When he meets Leonard Snart thwarting an armoured car robbery, he gives him blue.

Should’ve Known Better. - Seven sexy roleplay ideas that Barry, Len, and Iris came up with together…that were not good ideas.

Really, their lives would be so much easier if they weren’t all such sticklers for accuracy.

I Don’t See an Easy Way to Get out of This. - Iris and Leonard go to unspeakable lengths to stay alive. Barry gets caught in the fallout, and it’s a beautiful disaster. (Heed the tags)

Cold Truth. - Christmas may have been the first time they met, but Iris has known Leonard Snart a lot longer than she thought

All I See Are These Strange Tides. - Empathy causes more problems than you might think.

In which a struggling teenage metahuman meets her heroes and attempts to give them the best reward she can think of: happiness.

(Also, not to toot my own horn, but you can also check out my writing here.)

If you check them out, don’t forget to leave a comment, as well as some kudos!

#Coldflash #Coldwestallen #Nixie Answers #Coldflash Rec List #Coldwestallen Rec List #Mine #Personal #Nixie #Anonymous

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chiisana-sukima · 5 years

Text

Hi, Luke; I’m Chii. I’m a multishipper and a fandom granny. I ship both destiel and wincest. Irl I’m a nurse and have worked with many survivors of sexual and family violence over the years. I’m also an incest/rape survivor myself. I’m telling you all this because I want you to know that when I say there are some misconceptions (as well as some valid points) in your tweets, it’s not about ship wars for me. Wincest will never be canon-- which is as it should be-- and I don’t really care that much about whether destiel becomes canon or not. For me, your tweet thread is about how to best live in a world where sexual violence is horrible but common.

One of the most important things I learned in therapy is that I can’t know what’s going on inside other people’s heads. I can guess, but my guesses will often be wrong, and in general the best way to find out other people’s internal states is to ask them. Of course, people *do* lie, but going through life assuming that large groups of people are lying about their own thoughts and emotions is a painful and unnecessarily difficult way to live. It’s isolating and erodes trust.

I can only know with surety my own reasons for shipping wincest, but for example, I have several friends who ship wincest and are also ace and not into sex at all, let alone a specific kind of sex. For me to assume they’re in a longterm campaign of fooling either themselves or me is just not a very happy way to conduct my relationships. And as for myself, I’ve been a sexually active adult for 35 years. I have a rape kink a mile wide. I like guns and knives and when the brave heroes get hurt and cry. If I was into incest, I would know it and I wouldn’t be ashamed to admit it. I like wincest for reasons not related to sex. If you want to know what they are, just ask.

This is 100% true. And the converse is also true. Incest survivors who find discussion of a fictional incestuous relationship triggering deserve to have their needs met to the *exact* same extent that survivors who find discussion of a fictional incestuous relationship helpful or healing do. From a utilitarian perspective there is no way to choose between the needs of one group and the needs of the other, because there’s no way to know which group is more numerous, or even whether numbers are the relevant deciding factor or not.

The needs of the two groups are sometimes incompatible, and in so far as the compromise solution you’re asking for is tagging and avoidance of triggering content by those triggered, I agree with you. Twitter is notoriously hard to tag formally on (as I see you’re already discovering), but if a single written mention of the triggering content in a tweet stream is sufficient, then yes, that’s definitely a reasonable compromise to advocate for.

Here’s where I think we have very different perspectives. I have kinks too, and I go to kink spaces to pursue them, but wincest, for me, is not about “thirsting over my guilty pleasure”. It’s about my life and my whole self being a part of the human community and deserving of celebration and dignity.

I’m not ashamed that I’ve been victimized, and I’m not ashamed I love(d) the father who victimized me. He’s a horrible person and I love him anyway, because human beings are designed to love. No human relationship is either entirely healthy or unhealthy, and no major ship in SPN is either. It’s frankly not for you or any other person to draw the line over how much unhealthiness is enough that one can’t talk about the good parts of a relationship anymore. That’s for each individual to decide for themselves.

When you tell me that people in a (fictional) relationship can murder and torture and beat each other and make all kinds of other horrible choices and mistakes and still be worthy of celebration, but if they commit (fictional, consensual, adult) incest, then they can only be celebrated in “private kink communities”, you’re telling me my life has been outside the pale- that the crime committed against me is so shameful I shouldn’t be allowed to speak of it in public, and the fact that I love my father is worse than loving someone who, for example, killed large numbers of his brothers and sisters (as Castiel fictionally did) would be.

I want to believe that’s what we all want, but frankly I don’t. I’ve seen too many people complaining that AO3-- a privately run community created with the express purpose of being a safe space for authors to write whatever kind of kinky shit they want, and readers to read it-- shouldn’t host darkships or underage ships or ships that some fans consider racist.

So I’m asking you to ask your friends who are anti-wincest. Ask them if tagging is good enough, or if they think I shouldn’t post certain appropriately tagged “bad” thoughts and feelings on tumblr or twitter or AO3 or multiship discords at all. And I’m asking you to consider that some of the people-- not necessarily your friends, but definitely someone-- who says tagging isn’t enough will inevitably eventually come for you too. Because no matter how ashamed you are of your “guilty” thoughts and feelings, no matter how closely you hold them to your chest, if you share them with one other person they’re not secret anymore. As Audre Lorde famously said:

“My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you. But for every real word spoken, for every attempt I had ever made to speak those truths for which I am still seeking, I had made contact with other women while we examined the words to fit a world in which we all believed, bridging our differences.”

You’re a dude ofc, but I feel that way about you too. From one kinky person to another, all my best to you. I hope you’re doing well and being good to yourself. And I always try to assume, whenever I have discussions about violence, that the person on the other side could be a survivor too; so if that’s the case, especially my wishes for your good health and happiness around those issues too.

#cw incest #cw rape #wincest #fandom issues for ts #long post for ts #long post is very very long #sorry followers

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katebeckets · 6 years

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on lyatt

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after the last few episodes with a lot of flynn/lucy content there’s been a lot of multishipper posts and posts about that (and i’m not anti-flynn) so i thought i’d just share my thoughts on wyatt and lucy because i’m lyatt trash so enjoy.

oKAY. SO. HERE’S THE THING ABOUT LUCY AND WYATT. WE’RE STARTING AT THE VERY BEGINNING BECAUSE I CANNOT SHUT UP. Wyatt is an asshole at first. There’s literally no way to spin that. It’s not hard to sympathize with him, though, because he lost his wife. Wyatt is a tricky character because it’s a pretty predictable plotline and it also sucks that Lucy is left to deal with that, but Lucy does, and that’s what finally gets through to him. It’s so clear how much he loves his wife, even if he romanticizes her. He was probably distant and the typical male struggling with emotions because toxic masculinity, at least from what Jessica has said, but he loved her so much. She really was his world. It doesn’t mean he had a healthy relationship with Jessica, it just meant it was his everything. It’s a common experience. So imagine losing that like he has. Plus, like he said to Rufus and Lucy later, he thinks of himself as someone meant to protect the ones he cares about. Again, typical, but nonetheless real, so the anger and frustration at losing Jessica would’ve overwhelmed him. Plus we don’t know much about his parents but we know he didn’t have a great childhood so Jess likely was the entirety of his family. So he’s hurting a ton and acts like an asshole to everyone because he’s so miserable he doesn’t care.

Then he meets Lucy. At first the only thing they’ve got is chemistry because they literally don’t know each other, but you feel it the first time they look each other in the eye. It’s like she wakes him up, gets him to open his eyes and smile, because she’s finally speaking to him as a human being with actual standards who will stick up for herself even with the little things, like being called “ma’am” (which of course becomes endearing later). His anger is probably something that isolated him and also got him what he wanted in the past, but Lucy has the strength to stand up to it (and it’s all the more charming to Wyatt that at first, she doesn’t know she has that strength). Lucy softens him. He sees that she needs him to open up and in the end is willing to give her what she needs, and she, in turn, opens up to him. They start to bond naturally. Obviously their circumstances intensify this, but there’s still something there. She grabs his face and says she needs him, they trust each other exclusively, they fall into a rhythm and have developed this bond neither of them feel with anyone else; they become each other’s family after feeling like they’ve lost everything that meant the most to them (especially Lucy in 2x01). It’s a pretty slow-burn falling in love compared to the pace of the show. It’s natural. And sweet. He begins opening up about Jessica and we see the pain with which he speaks about her and how much he doesn’t like talking about her, but he’s willing to talk to Lucy about her. He grows until he’s willing to accept her saying that he should be open to possibilities; he starts to change his way of thinking because of Lucy, and she changes hers because of him. They are interdependent and they grow together. They conflict but they work it out, make up, and ultimately become stronger because of it, because they know a conflict can’t erase what they have. (Also this would be a whole other novel but I love Lucy. She’s so patient, so strong, so forgiving, in the season two finale she was the first to defend Wyatt, Agent Christopher, etc. when people started to fight with each other because she was able to see all sides.)

Wyatt has been carrying guilt and there is no doubt in my mind that admitting to falling in love with Lucy would feel like a betrayal to him, a loss of his values, because what does that make Jessica? Is it okay to move on when just before meeting Lucy, he was ready to give up? And what was Lucy feeling? She may suspect he loves her, but has no way of knowing, reminds herself that he’s in love with Jessica and probably convinces herself it’s better this way since the more you care about, the more you have to lose. But then they both finally go for it. They’ve both lost so much, they’re both afraid to risk caring again because of how much there is to lose, but they can’t help it. Wyatt says that she saved him, but doesn’t do it in a manipulative way, doesn’t say “you are the only reason I’m alive and you have to stay with me because otherwise I’ll die,” he’s honest about how he was feeling. How numb he was. How she changed that fact, helped him remember how to feel again, by simply being there. She was soft and patient with him, pushing him in ways he needed but persisting in her efforts to know him because she cared, that is who Lucy is. There was no romantic goal for either of them at first, they just grew together as friends (albeit friends that thought the other was hot). And then when they finally had their night… she wakes up and he smiles and says “good morning” and she says it back and both of them have the BIGGEST smiles on their faces (brb crying rn). And she asks if it was okay and he says yes, they both think it was amazing, for the first time there’s hope, because “we have each other.” They are so natural and so happy to be with each other, you can tell how much of a dream it is. And then Rufus comes in and at the end, Wyatt turns to kiss her again. THINK ABOUT THAT. They just laugh that it wasn’t a secret and Wyatt turns back to kiss her, both of them so happy and content and probably a little incredulous that this was not a dream, acting like the sweetest couple who just love each other so much, they went from 0 to 60 overnight and it’s amazing, I mean, “be careful,” did you HEAR how soft that was???? I cry.

And then Jessica happens and Lucy is heartbroken but trying not to be, and Wyatt is presumptuous in what he meant to her (even though he’s right) and eventually she lashes out at him (thank GOD). They fight it out because it needed to happen, they needed to confront the emotions that were happening. Wyatt not being able to leave his wife because he’s loyal and he does love her, probably always will. Lucy wanting Wyatt to be happy and truly believing that she is not what will make him happy and trying to deal with that while simultaneously dealing with the fact that Wyatt was her person, the one that comforted her and held her and reminded her that she had him when she lost everything. Before they fell in love, they became friends, he became her confidante and the person she talked to about the hardest parts of her life, the one she wanted to talk to. He tells her that he had no regrets because he knows it’s hard for her and he hates hurting her and he knew she needed him to confirm that, but it’s also an amazing bit of progress in his character because his wife is back. The one he’s been pining for, the one he was determined to never move on from, his one person, but he has no regrets because his feelings were genuine. They’re the first to rush to each other’s arms whenever they’re separated (note Wyatt’s super gentle hand on her neck when they didn’t know if she’d be okay), they hug each other so tight, he trusts her and she trusts him even when they don’t agree. And Wyatt’s lost a little of Lucy’s trust this season, but she is also the first to believe in him. The first to defend him. She is as betrayed as everyone else that Wyatt had doubts and didn’t tell them, but does she attack him like everyone else? No. She defends him. She supports him even after everything falls apart.

Wyatt pushed her away from the beginning, he didn’t want to be vulnerable, didn’t want to feel anything, he wanted to be reckless. But Wyatt finally let go of this confusion, guilt, idea of betrayal in regard to Jessica. He told Lucy he loved her because he couldn’t deny it anymore. He tried so hard to love Jessica because that’s who he is, and it hurt Lucy, but she knew that was who he was and wanted nothing but happiness for him.

(I know it’s been pointed out that he struck her, and I know it’s not okay, but what’s happened is being misconstrued. He hurt her, yes, but it’s not like they were arguing and then he went to strike her. He and Flynn were fighting, and in the moment, he wasn’t thinking, he was FIGHTING. It wasn’t calculated or dispassionate. He was heated and didn’t think about who was trying to intervene and reacted in a way people often do when they’re grabbed. But there was INSTANT regret because Lucy is his weakness, just as Jessica was (but with a less unhealthy reason behind it). His voice immediately softened and everything with Flynn was forgotten because all that mattered was Lucy.)

He has been betrayed and hurt and it’s taken this, a second loss of Jessica perhaps even worse than the first, for him to fully accept the illusion of love he was clinging to because he considered moving on to be a failure on his part, a failure to be the loving, loyal husband he promised. When he felt like the death was his fault, when he had doubts about how he could be for Lucy (like he expressed at the Alamo). He needed to go back to Jessica. He never would’ve known how deep his love for Lucy was without it, he never would’ve come to the realization that it’s okay that he moved on, and Lucy wouldn’t have trusted his love either; she’s too smart for that. She would’ve had doubts in the back of her mind if he had chosen her over Jessica, especially given how huge Jessica was to him in season one. It would’ve undermined his loyalty to Lucy because he was so loyal to Jess but didn’t take the chance to be with her. Lucy has been soft, and forgiving, and loving toward him; fiercely loyal. And he’s finally ready to do the same.

It’s not fair that Lucy had to be so strong and feel so alone, but she loves him and she had that strength; Wyatt just wasn’t there yet, and as much as that sucks, as much as the timing hurt, it wouldn’t have been fair to Lucy or Wyatt if they had entered a relationship with doubts. But now. Now he KNOWS and can admit it to himself and feel happy about it. He can let go of a love for Jessica while also understanding that it doesn’t make it less special or real, it just means that it’s not part of his life anymore. He loves Lucy. And he’s going to be as fiercely loyal to her as he was to Jessica, even more so. She came into his life and saw him as a person, treated him with empathy, stood up for herself when she needed to but also was gentle and kind so he could heal. His loyalty to Jessica is admirable and it would’ve been out of character for him to drop that for Lucy. But that also means that now that he’s admitted it, Lucy is the one who will experience his undying loyalty and love. She had it before, but this way she knows it. And Lucy Preston deserves that.

#lyatt #timeless #lucy preston #wyatt logan #nbc timeless #kfjdkalfjkldajflk;ajflajj i have a lot of feelings and i'm crying again goodbye #sentences border on senseless #COME TALK TO ME!!!!!

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samsexualdeancurious · 7 years

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For honesty hour...who are some of your fave fic writerd,? Some of your fave fics?

You’re a tad late for honesty hour, nonny, but that’s okay! I’m always happy to talk about my favorite/go-to people (note: these are not in any particular order, just the order I thought of them in) and my favorites from their masterlists (most of these links are for Tumblr posts, with the exception of some AO3 ones. Let me know if anything isn’t working right).

@teamfreewill-imagine

I love everything Jamie writes (and I love Jamie herself- we have so much in common, it’s kinda scary), but here are my three faves:

I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - If you haven’t read this series yet, get on that shit. It’s a Jared x Gen x Reader that fulfills all my favorite fantasies and is the perfect blend of angst, smut, and fluff. I never want it to end.

Forgive Me, Father - this fic. THIS FIC. I have no words. It’s pure smutty goodness, with Virgin!Priest!Sam who’s so cute I could cry.

Soy Un Perdedor - Stripper!Sam. Nuff said.

Some honorable mentions are: Ask For What You Want, the entire Daddy!Sam verse, and her Series Rewrite

@manawhaat

Mana is the sweetest person who can also rip your heart to shreds and I love her very much, especially when she puts up with me always asking her to beta my fics (the woman is magic, I swear. She makes everything better). Her masterlist if my go-to when I’m craving some John Winchester or some cry-into-your-pillow angst. Some highlights include:

When Your Grace is Gone - Tears. Literal tears were shed. Sam x Reader, but Cas-centric, and the feels were almost to much. Mana would know. I yelled at her about it, lol

Wild Horses - So cute and so hot. I love me some Sammy. Sammy in the backseat of the Impala is even better. There are some things Dean will never know.

Wild Bloom - This is a long one, but 100% worth it. Fuckin’ slayed me with the porn. Gotta love some John x Younger!Reader and middle-of-nowhere sex.

@ilostmyshoe-79

Kim is the first multishipper I followed and she kills me regularly with the porn (especially Porn Gif Drabble Days. They’re too good). She’s got such a great variety to choose from, but I particularly enjoy her Wincest and Poly fics:

Sketches - Wincest, Voyeur!Artist!Cas, and eventual Wincestiel. Need I say more?

Cursed - If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know I thrive on Dom!Sam. I love the idea of a giant man without much control in his daily life taking complete control during sex. But this fic is just one more reason why I’m now so partial so a more submissive version of my favorite moose. The imagery of Sam begging for Dean is too much to handle.

Both - This fic is the poly ship I didn’t know I needed. The idea of Dean getting both of the people he loves it so satisfying.

Release and Relief - I was trying to limit this to three fics per author, but this one cannot be left out. I’ve been shipping Sam/Rowena for a while, but Dean/Rowena is just so good and I’m always a slut for a sub!Dean. Read all the parts. You will not regret it.

@kittenofdoomage

Kitten’s fics were kinda my gateway into the world of smut and reader-inserts, and she definitely inspired me to start this blog! Kitten never ceases to amaze me. I adore everything she writes, so it was really hard to pick just a few fics:

Spin Cycle - It’s hard to chose just one of Kitten’s John x Reader fics, but this is definitely in my top three. It’s got all the good stuff- a damsel in distress, Handyman!John to the rescue, cheesy flirting, and filthy smut.

Substitution - If you have a thing for sex worker!Dean and jealous!Sam (like me), this is the Wincest fic for you. Kitten doesn’t usually (read: ever) write bottom!Dean, but she did such a good job and I still love it (clearly).

Come as You Are - Fluff and smut and enough angst to have you yelling at your phone screen cos WHY WON’T THEY JUST TALK. Also, tattooed!punk!Dean. What more do you need?

Breakdown - Sometimes Kitten’s premises read like the beginning of a porno and this is definitely one of those, and i absolutely love every word of it. Makes me wish my car would break down in the middle of nowhere just so I could run into a tall, gorgeous farmer names Sam. Please and thank you.

Honorable mentions are the Magic and Mark serieses (Strippers and smut. That’s all you need to know), and, of course, Left Behind.

@justanothersaltandburn

Dean introduced me to the wonderful world that is poly ships and interesting kinks I never knew I had. I thought picking fics from Kitten’s masterlist was hard, but picking from Dean’s was nearly impossible:

Tails of a Demi-Demon and His Doms - I was a little hesitant going into this fic, but I’m not entirely sure why? Cos it’s got everything I love- Wincestiel, sub!Dean, some lovely kinks I’d forgotten I have. It’s a little on the longer side, but well worth the time.

Four’s Company - I’m a sucker for a good fix-it and while I did enjoy Season 12, I was bummed to see so many amazing characters go in the finale. Luckily, when I get sad, I can just reread this amazing series and pretend Dean got banged in the Bunker bathroom by Ketch and everyone is still alive.

The Scars We Leave - Speaking of kinks I didn’t know I had and pairings I didn’t know I shipped. This fic is not for the faint of heart, but if you like Demon!Dean x Crowley, Sub!Dean, predicament bondage (specifically my favorite kind and a position I’ve put Dean in before, because he’s so much fun to torture), and some pain kink, this is the fic for you. It’s filthy and dark and oh so good.

@floweryhanzo (you might know him as @beekeepercain)

If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you probably know of my adoration for anything Leo writes. His depth of understanding of the characters and the way he can paint a picture with his words just never ceases to blow my mind. I highly recommend reading everything on his AO3, but here are a few of my favorites (and they’re not all SPN fics!):

Soft: A Story - This fics is so sweet and cute, but also angsty and deep and thought-provoking. It was written for Nanowrimo, so it’s really long, but it’s honestly just amazing. Little Dean is so stinkin’ cute and Sam’s trying to hard to be a good big brother after being the little brother his whole life, and I just love every moment of it.

A Bark With A Bow - this fic was actually written for me, for a Christmas exchange in 2016, and it’s perfection. I’ve always said Sam needs a dog, particularly a therapy dog, and Leo delivered in the most splendid fashion, complete with brothers being cute brothers. It’s a Christmas fic, but I read it all year round.

Gibralter - I DON’T EVEN PLAY THIS DAMN GAME. All I’ve done is watch some of the videos and read this fic. Multiple times. It’s so damn good. Forever long, but so intriguing. I’m a sucker for brother dynamics (have you seen my favorite show??), and this has all of that, with a fantastic blend of lack-of-communication, beautifully written trauma, bottled up emotions, and some action to spice things up a little. I love it so much.

#kenzi answers #fic rec #not my fic #teamfreewill-imagine #kittenofdoomage #ilostmyshoe-79 #justanothersaltandburn #floweryhanzo #beekeepercain #manawhaat #i spent all afternoon editing this so i guess i should actually ya know post it #anon

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dachi-chan25 · 7 years

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 5 Recap Pt. 1

I seriously need to vent about “Eastwatch so bear with me please.

WARNING: SPOILERS; not a D@€n€r¥$ fan; Jonsa shipper so yeah I’m biased af.

Before diving into the recap:

1.- This are only my opinions, humble analysis and random thoughts/musings about the episode, and I am in no form or way trying to convince people I know everything or that I’m absolutely right and whatever other reading is wrong, I actually Love that thing about fandom that everyone sees things in a different way, is fascinating

2.- I’m the literal embodiment of the Salt Throne, and I feel specially salty about this episode so if you are not comfortable with that stuff I highly recommend you not to read this. I will always stay in my lane and I am not closed off to debates as long as you extend the same politeness and respect of course.

3.- My analysis of certain ships/characters is based on what I think and feel as an audience, but in no form or way do I think people shouldn’t ship/like said ship/characters. Believe me on the fact I will always defend the right to love what you love, even my most hated NOTPS are valid and I will always support the shippers and multishippers even if we don’t interact.

————

1.- Back on the lake near HG, Bronn and Jaime are fine (I already knew they weren’t going to die but I am glad they don’t even have a scratch) and golden boy is pissed cuz Bronn wasn’t delicate enough during his brave rescue, and Bronn is like yeah but why did you do such a stupid ass thing she has a dragon Jamie a dragon!!!! but our Lannister boy didn’t even cared he was willing to die to get rid of D.

OK, but that was really what a hero would do??He doesn’t know D, and the good things she has done, and we know Jaime is more than flawed, he has done awfull things, and in his mind D is the biggest threat he has ever faced (I mean he is not wrong) and still found the courage to charge at her, he just watched his man die horrible painful deaths (mind you he got PTSD from his time with Aerys right then and there) and instead of fleeing like Bronn suggested he fought and was willing to die just so he could get rid of D… That really makes you think.

Anyway Bronn is like fuck you, you can’t die before you pay me dude! but you’re totally on your own if the Dragon Woman comes to KL xoxo.

I truly love Bronn.

2.- So yeah we’re strolling through the Field of Fire with Tyrion, he looks absolutely horrified (he should) while the Dothraki take swords and weapons form the dead (yikes, can we talk about the lack of humanising of the Dothraki? We only got to know them a lil’ back on s1 and s2 and still they look like terrible people with a ruthless violent culture and no real good redeeming qualities, I mean we don’t even get a lot of depth on any Mereenese, Yunkai or Astapori beyond the ohh wondrous mysha bullshit!! and then we have Dorne, you know the PoC of Westeros, storyline absolutely butchered and thrown to shit, and this actually stinks of racism) anyway we have like what 50? 100? Soldiers and I’m supposed to pat D in the back for not killing everyone??? You kidding me right? There were 10,000 Lannister-Tarly soldiers, she killed ¾ of the army, and yet she dares to say she didn’t came to murder them or orphan their children with the same condecending tone she used for the Meerenese, Astapori and Yunkaii people???? Miss me that bullshit, she had an adavantage from 10-1 there was no FUCKING way the Lannister-Tarlys were going to win, besides if she has the noble pure righteous heart she loves to parrot about she would have given them the chance to yield before she went Dracarys on their asses (you know like Jon Snow did in the BoB telling Ramsey they should have a 1 on 1 so other people wouldn’t die) she should have taken the food, but she didn’t so it would be real nice if she stopped with all those pretty but meaningless speeches that only make her look like a hypocrite (but I totally understand why she doesn’t “if I look back I’m lost” which basically means I’m too lazy and proud to learn from my mistakes and accept my flaws) anyway it all boils down to “bend the knee or die even tho I just said I didn’t came to kill you after I had already killed most of you” and I kid you not, just 5-10 people bent immediately, only when Drogon screeches menacingly at them is that most drop to their knees absolutely terrified (*instert the “this is not freedom, this is fear” meme from Captain America) what kind of choice is this???? No choice at all, is either accept me as your newest overlord or die in the flames (yikes, I never wanted her on the IT but now more than ever).

Other thing that piqued my interest is that she uses her famous line about destroying the wheel, basically this is a medieval equivalent of communism, she says there will be no more powerfull high lords and helpless small folk, okay good, totally support this, but D you seriously need to ask yourself how are you going to manage the transition and if your replacement of this feudalistic system is all the power lies in me, my Dragons and my small council if/when I’m in the mood to actually listen then no fuck you. Communism is something we know, something we’ve seen before (Cuba, Russia, North Korea) and it has failed, even if theoretically it seems the most humanitarian and fair, in practice it has always caused an awful whiplash of tyranny, poverty and opression (history exists guys, and even if Westeros is a fantasy setting, GRRM based a lot of the stuff in ASOIAF in actual historical events) our society was not ready in any form or way for that kind of government and neither is the Westerosi society, but D is not a politician, she is a Queen and therefore she doesn’t care about future problems and consequences ‘til they hit her face and then she whines and complains about it.

Fortunately the Tarlys are having none of that overlord (overlady???) bullshit and will not kneel, is no secret I dislike Randyll Tarly cuz he is ruthless with his soldiers (flogging them for real??) and the way he treated Sam (fuck him) but he has a lot of strenght and dignity, he refuses to kneel because he already chose a side and he would stand by it even if it meant death, he is a hardass motherfucker if anything, Tyrion is like dude you seriously are going to fight for my evil sister? Point is that Cersei and D really give not much of an option do they Tyrion? As a matter of fact this scene is a good parallel to Cersei’s 7x01 one in the IT trash talking D and convincing (tho she is much more diplomatic) the Reach Lords to fight with her, then we see Randyll talk with Jaime and he says he only answered the call cuz he knew what Cersei does with her enemies. Here we have D’s pretty speech about how Cersei is evil and she is clearly the better option while intimidating them with her Dragon and Dothraki.But is the same! even if Cersei is more subtle in her approach. Anywhoo Randyll is like you say whatever you want about Queen C, but she is not a foreign invader with a army of infamous pillagers and rapers and dragons who burnt all the food of the Reach (k I added that last bit cuz I’m salty that no one seems to give a fuck about the food) and I know some people have been saying he sounded racist (he does not) that is not the case at all,every country requests being a citizen (among other things) to occupy a position in the government, because you have to know the country, lived there, care at least a little about it’s people and know them and let them know you, D meets none of this requirements, and yes it’s not her fault, it’s her dad’s and Robert’s that she had to live in exile, but still she has no right to proclaim herself as the better option when she has done nothing to show it.

So Randyll is ready to die, Tyrion wants to save him (I guess to convince himself that he made the right decision in supporting D) and suggests he is sent to the Wall, but Radyll is like nah man she has no authority to make me do shit cuz she ain’t my queen. Dickon (my brave and beautiful, and dumb son) steps out and says he won’t bend the knee also, Randyll and Tyrion collectively lose their shits (bitch me too the fuck) because they don’t want him to die and let house Tarly die with him (this rings to close to Tyrion cuz his evil sis killed the Tyrells and Aerys killed a Rickard and Brandon Stark, how is this any different from what D is doing now?) but D is ruthless and says she already gave them an option, Tyrion is still trying to be like hey how about you don’t start cutting heads off??? and D is like LMAO who said I was beheading them? Tyrion is left speechless (why were you expecting dude?? You watched her burn the army and the food, and she almost burnt your brother and your bff) but really is heartbreaking because he wanted so hard to see the mericful woman he admired and believed in and only sees a tyrant.

So of course I cried, because I played myself living in denial and happily shipping Dicksa (we can’t have nice things, but my ship is not going down, you can’t kill what is already dead!!!!) and beyond that it was heartbreaking seeing Randyll holding his son’s arm and them dying on ther feet. And I was reminded of one of the heroes of the mexican revolution, Emiliano Zapata who once said “I’d rather die on my feet, than live on my knees” what the Tarlys did was a common tragic hero trope.

After the Tarlys get roasted, everyone is on their knees and I would love to slap the satisfaction out of D’s face, because this is awful.

———

I rambled far too much so this needs a part 2

#Game of Thrones #7x05 #racap pt 1 #anti daenerys #just to be safe #dachi rambles

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claroquequiza · 7 years

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Just a little rant about how irrational I am about my OTP, especially in regards to how I react to other ships. If you ship mc//gen//ji, it may be best not to read, even though I hold nothing against you or the pairing itself besides my irrational reaction to it!

This isn’t meant as mc//gen//ji hate or to discourage or condemn people who like it and other ships, because I am seriously frustrated by how such harmless fun affects me so negatively, but I thought I’d warn any mc//gen//ji shippers specifically that I don’t like it, even if it’s for irrational reasons.

And it is irrational, because I like Genji well enough on his own--he has a lot of depth and has survived unimaginable trauma and come out the other side with a much better attitude than anyone would be expected to, with a good sense of humor and a strong sense of right and wrong. I don’t tend to see him as positively as other people, though. I wouldn’t be able to stand him as a young man because of how irresponsible he was, and a common fandom interpretation for him is at least some drug use, which I don’t like for lots of reasons. And he was yakuza, after all, both him and Hanzo. And even post-Zenyatta I think I might be annoyed by him because he strikes me as intensely spiritual, and spirituality leaves a bad taste in my mouth because of my personal experiences with it. Again, nothing against Genji or spiritual people, it’s just my reaction and feelings about it, which I acknowledge aren’t necessarily right or rational.

But one thing that Genji definitely is is “available”. Like, he’s much more open, more emotionally stable, likely more physical, and much more social, especially in comparison to Hanzo. And I identify, a lot, with Hanzo, to the point where I am firmly in his corner on just about everything--not, of course, when it comes to his yakuza past or murdering Genji, but I feel personally invested in his success as he is after The Fight because his inner turmoil is something I identify with fairly intensely.

But Hanzo is much more broken than his brother, more taciturn, very closed off, brusque, etc., and all of that means that he would extremely hard to befriend and to love even though he needs friendship and love so badly.

And if anyone were to encounter the two brothers together, at any stage of their lives, they would prefer Genji over Hanzo. Of course they would, every time. Genji has far less sins on his shoulders (though not as few as the fandom likes to think, I’d say), he’s more openly funny, he’s been fighting the good fight for longer, he’s learned how to deal with most of his weaknesses, and he’s got more social grace. Of course people would choose Genji over Hanzo, every time, for friendship or love or whatever.

So when it comes to McHanzo, Genji feels like a threat to Hanzo, whether he’s meant to be or not. When Genji is right there, especially when Jesse has just met Hanzo, at first glance surely the choice is obvious. Why would anyone try to tease out Hanzo’s good qualities or try to get past his prickly exterior when Genji’s good qualities are on open display and already so accessible? When he doesn’t have such a huge mistake to atone for? When he has already learned how to deal with his emotional baggage?

And Hanzo needs a support system. He needs associates and friends, if nothing else, someone besides Genji who doesn’t have such a painful shared history. Even in AUs where they don’t have that shared history, Hanzo needs to be given more chances to make connections than a lot of people would be willing to give, and I feel like Genji would refocus people’s attention and preferences to himself, though through no fault of his own as he’s usually portrayed in fandom.

So Genji often feels like a threat to Hanzo’s progress to me. And whenever I see mc//gen//ji, I can’t help but feel like that’s exactly what happened: Jesse met Genji and was immediately drawn in by his social prowess and completely missed Hanzo off to the side. And that strikes me as a tragedy because I personally feel like Hanzo and Jesse would understand and help each other to a much greater extent than Genji because Genji is much more a victim, while Hanzo and Jesse are both victims and abusers and both have to make their peace with that.

But that doesn’t invalidate mc//gen//ji! These are all fictional characters and relationships so in the end it’s up to your personal preferences and interpretations to see which relationship does and doesn’t “make sense”. It makes it all the more frustrating for me because I have such a negative reaction to any ships that involve Jesse and Hanzo with anyone other than each other and to mc//gen//ji specifically--and it doesn’t matter! It hurts no one! But it does hurt me, which is so irrational. And it puts a huge crimp on my Tumblr experience because so many talented people are multishippers, and I want to follow them but then I have to deal with my stupid reactions to anything other than my OTP. And I don’t really know how to deal with it other than sucking it up as best as I can.

And the whole thing is fairly baffling to me because I’m 29 years old and this is the first time any OTP has mattered so much to me, to the exclusion of all other pairings. I mean, I’ve been into a lot of fandoms, starting with Digimon when I was young and ending with A:TLA when I fell out of fandom altogether for a while before Overwatch sucked me back in. I preferred all kinds of pairings in that time, from Yamajyou to Zukka, and while I didn’t (and still don’t) care for alternate ships and pairings involving those characters, I was never repulsed by other ships the way I am with alternates to McHanzo. I’m still not; I went back and looked at fanart and read fanfics, both of my old OTPs and their alternates, and none of them invoked the same reaction, which is weird and frustrating. Like, what the hell, brain, what is it about Hanzo and Jesse that makes me so irrational? Stop it. Stop it now. Fuck.

And again, this isn’t meant to discourage or condemn people who either multiship or just plain prefer mc//gen//ji or whichever ship over McHanzo--it’s just that I’ve been struggling with this stupid, nonsensical problem for a while and I wanted to rant. Go forth and ship freely, my friends--I just wish I could do the same.

#personal #otp shipping and why I am such a friggin mess over fictional characters #I don't know what I expect this to solve but I just wanted to get it out there for whatever reason #just feels good to get it out there #DEFINITELY NOT SHIP HATE because seriously who has the time or energy to waste on something so shitty

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