#the point of emma is that she did not ever see past the shit

[slocumjoe]

hey uhhh i went thru ur oc post history and u said gus set himself on fire?? pls context

I love this character because whenever someone asks about him I always have to take a deep breath and get comfortable and suck a breath in through my teeth. I treat him so poorly

More Gus lore, because that specific event is actually tied to the very first event that would fuck him up forever, so I can't really talk about it without going in depth.

This is explaining the core tenent of Augustijn's story, which is guilt and its dangers. Basically, where that constant guilt came from, and how it...turned out for him...

It turns out okay. Just...takes 200+ years, an apocalypse, a divorce, and his son dying! 🥳Yay🥳

Tw; Religious trauma, child abuse, suicide, drug use, cannibalism, mental illnesses, and yet another suicide attempt.

So, some background, Gus's mom, Emma, was a fanatic catholic and generally Bat Shit about religion. As you might imagine, this is the Direct Source of both Gus' questionable worldviews, traumas, and his biological inclination to uuuhhh bad Head Times.

Emma was raised mildly religious, but she...took to it too hard? Her family was not the cause of her obsession, Gus's grandparents and uncles/aunts over there actually cut her off at one point, because she was starting to worry them but reaching out led to her lashing out. So, they just...backed off. Emma herself was a simple, homebody woman, who wanted to be at home raising her kids, and tending her garden. She would have been this way even without the religious thing.

But Emma and her side of the family were prone to addiction, see? And religion became her point of fixation and obsession. This could have still been okay, if not for the church she went into. A catholic church in the Hague that was known by all for being kind of fucking out there, even by other hardcore Catholics. This was one she went into, and even her grandchild 240+ years later would feel the ripple of this decision.

Emma goes into church and gets gnarly ideas about how life works. Its a woman's duty to have kids and raise them, to be good to her husband and her house, to listen and obey her men. Sin is inevitable and everyone does it, only those that admit and accept punishment can get another chance at Paradise. God knows every action you take and he does not care for the context, he only cares about the action. There is no "well, but" under the Lord.

Emma has mental illness, some kind of depression and anxiety, so this Big Brother Watching And Judging fucked her up. Especially since her church, in particular, was physically abusive if you did not confess to anything during confession. They thought if you had nothing to confess, you were lying.

At this point, she's met and engaged to Theodore Reinier, a rich heir to a European manufacturing company. He's pretty, a gentleman, and best of all, rich, so she can have as big and luxurious a garden as she wants. She likes him. She does not love him. She's in her twenties and unmarried with no kids, and her poor family needs to be taken care of. So she marries him. Theodore is smart enough to see this for what it is, and kind enough to allow it. He lets his wife do her own thing and treats her as a friend, rather than a lover. She hates this, she wants to be a wife (she doesnt). She wants kids, he gives her one. Augustijn. This birth goes rough, and she's told no more children.

Theodore makes one rule; August goes to a different church, or he does not go at all. Theo really didn't like Emma's church and he certainly wasn't exposing his kid to that shit.

Emma pretends to agree and takes Gus to That Church. Theo doesn't attend, so he doesn't know this is happening until much later. Gus gets all the same nasty shit Emma does. Theo learns of this when he sees Gus covered in bruises from confession beatings. This puts a huge rift between him and Emma, and he pulls all the strings he can to have her church shut down.

Emma grows to resent and hate Theo and Augustijn for not being the perfect husband and child she deserves as a good, God fearing house wife. Augustijn is left to his nannies, Emma hides away in her private garden, fuming. Theodore tries to bond with his son, but Emma's poisoned that well.

Emma tells Augustijn about demons, to fear them. She specifically tells him about church grims, demons that hunt around churches in the form of a dog to drag sinners to hell. She says this as she's admiring her new obsidian dog statues for her garden.

Eventually, Emma goes yellow wallpaper and loses her mind, and is sent to therapy and put on medications. Augustijn loathes his father for his mother's state. Theodore just wants his friend and son okay. But Emma, as she's out in town, coming back from therapy, she stops at a friend's house while the friend isn't there, and hooks up with the woman's husband. Friend's husband was stern, strict with his wife, God fearing, and generally an obnoxious 50s ideal shithead husband. Everything Emma wanted. This wasn't out of nowhere, it was brewing in the background. She knew both of them from her old church.

Emma goes home, and finally having a reason for the guilt that's always plagued her, elects to acknowledge her sin. She drowns herself in the pond of her garden, stared down by three dark, ruby-eyed dogs, overseeing her passage into the afterlife. Her young son comes into the garden to meet his mother, after she's been gone all day, only to find her in a red pool. He looks up into the eyes of the dogs. He remembers nothing of this incident, blocking it out and having been too young to understand.

Years pass, and Augustijn turns to drugs as well, though his come from the darkest parts of the Hague, rather than a doctor. He turns to sex, to crime, to anything he thinks will either corrupt him so much he doesn't care, or will finally make his guilt feel justified. He wears his mother's cross necklace through it all, and sees her beloved dog with every sin.

Augustijn goes to America for college, to Harvard, studying to become a pastor himself. (This is maybe the most terrifying part of him, the fact that he almost got it). But he doesn't feel satisfied with it, has a moment of clarity and realizes he isn't fit to preach anything. The grim certainly doesn't think so. He instead follows his only friend, Isadora, into the military. The US government allowing their soldiers to do chems means his failed drug tests don't matter.

Augustijn becomes a sniper. He has always hurt people, excelled in it, but taking life frightens him, because he knows he has no right to decide who lives or dies, not like this. But he's in China, and he's told to kill. He does, and he's very good at it. His teammates marvel at just how scrappy and determined he is, like a weed, a mold.

The Biandukou Pass Incident occurs. He eats his entire team, trapped in a Chinese mountain range during a blizzard.

Delirious from almost two months of surviving on nothing but psycho and human flesh, Augustijn is let loose back into Boston, honorably discharged. His lingering hallucinations from his Daytripper addiction, mixed with psycho withdrawal, trauma, guilt, shame, the fear of God—everything culminates. He looks up and sees the figure that has haunted him since that one, awful day; the church grim, staring expectantly.

His mother drowned herself, so he thought it fitting if he set himself ablaze.

[freakshowtwopointoh]

Marie ducks out of the gala, praying that no one will try to stop her. She can feel Cate's eyes on her, Emma's eyes, Jordan's eyes.

Did they tell the others about their past? Did they even care? The way they treated her in Brink's office, it was like they had no memory of her. Then the club, Luke, outside the crimefighting building, the interview... a collection of charged and confusing conversations. Never a confirmation that they even remembered her, but there was so much emotion in everything they said to her.

Maybe they thought she didn't remember...

But she remembers. She remembers everything. The games they'd play, the secrets they'd shared, the late-night playstation tournaments...

Her first crush, her first kiss. Of course she hadn't forgotten, how could she.

But she moved away. And then her life became a horror movie. And even if she'd been allowed to contact anyone, what do you say to your best friend after you've done the unimaginable?

So when she walked in and saw them at the desk for Brink's office, what was she supposed to say?

"Remember me, I'm the weird kid you were friends with until she moved away and vanished, who kissed you in her sister's princess tent in the backyard? Also, I found out I'm a supe and my schedule's fucked."

Yeah, no. That doesn't really work. So she played a bit dumb. But now... she sees Jordan leaning up against the side of the building, watching her.

She sucked in a breath through her teeth.

"I'm not in the mood, Jordan. You can attack me in the morning." She rolled her eyes, and attempted to walk away.

"I'm surprised you can walk straight, with everyone's tongue lodged up your ass."

"You don't know shit about me anymore, Li, so shut the fuck up." And she tried to keep walking away.

"So you do remember me." God fucking dammit. "And I do know you, and I know your type. Brown-noser. One-upper. Mommy and Daddy's perfect little hero." The words stopped her in her tracks. She spun on her heel.

"Yeah, well that's definitely not me. Because my parents are dead. Because I killed them." The words fell from her lips before she could stop them.

"Bullshit." They say, but they don't sound like they mean it.

"That answers a whole lot of your questions, now doesn't it?" She snapped. "Questions that I could've fucking answered, if you'd ever bothered to ask. It was just a few months after I moved. I... I had my first period, my mom came in and.... and the blood sliced right through her neck. Dad came in, same deal. Annab-" Her voice broke. She took a deep breath. "After that, I was sent to a facility called Red River. I didn't really have the option to email or anything for.... awhile. Happy now?" She was ready to storm off, but Jordan placed something cold in her hand. A flask.

"I always thought you just... forgot about me. And when I saw your name in the pile of incoming students, it wasn't hard to invent all sorts of reasons why you'd lie to me. And then... well..."

"Shit got complicated real fast." She said simply, after swallowing a gulp of the lukewarm rum in their flask. "I.... wasn't sure what to say when I saw you in the office that first day."

"You're telling me! I'd spent like 5 years being pissed at you and missing you at the same time, then all of a sudden you waltz into my office, demanding I un-reject you from his class, and at that point, I still didn't even know what your powers were." They laugh.

Marie looked at them, taking in their straight bob, their big brown eyes, their chiming laugh. God, she'd missed them so much. She'd missed her best friend more than she even understood until this very moment. They missed out on so much - so many late night chats and lazy weekends and... her eyes flicked to their lips. And before she's even registered what she's doing, her hand is on Jordan's cheek and she's pulling them in, and kissing them. Pouring years of pining, missing, loving, hating, everything, into this kiss under the moonlight.

When they pull away, there's a look she can't read in their eyes.

"I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that." They said. And then their hands are on her hips and they're kissing again and everything is magical and beautiful and perfect and there are no words needed. And then someone coughs behind them.

"Uh, guys? I fucked up." Andre and Cate are standing there awkwardly.

~ au idea by @mariejordans

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 33: THE FAIR

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility

Waking up in your old apartment, you stretch your arms above your head, feeling the crispness of the air as it slips through the slightly opened window. As you step closer, you gaze out at the familiar skyline – the roofs of neighbouring buildings peeking from between the branches of aged trees. Today is the day when you are going to see Cillian again, and by now, you have made up your mind. You wanted him back, regardless of what happened between you in the past.

There was no denying it. He had hurt you deeply, but you still could not forget how he made you feel when you were with him. His smile, his touch, his words – all these things were like a drug to you, making you crave more of him. It was not just about the passion between you two; there was something deeper, stronger even than the love you had for anyone else before. Maybe it was because you felt so understood by him. Or maybe it was because he saw parts of yourself that nobody else could.

You texted each other every day and had two dates since he contacted you one night after your performance at the Abbey. He was trying very hard to make amends, and deep down, you knew that giving him another chance might lead to heartbreak once again, but what scared you more was the thought of never experiencing that connection ever again.

So, today, you decided that you would give in. You would give it another shot. Today, you would meet Cillian for another date, hoping you could rediscover the spark that had once ignited between you.

"Are you sure about this?" Emma asked as she sat beside you, trying to understand your decision better. You had been thinking about it for days and finally told her what you came up with.

"You know what he did to you. Why take such a risk?" she wanted to know, cautioning you about what may happen.

"I do know," you replied, your voice softening as memories of past betrayals resurfaced. "But I also know that sometimes people make mistakes. I, myself, made plenty. He has been trying very hard lately, and, God, I miss him, Emma." you explained, your heart heavy.

Emma sighed, shaking her head gently. "Y/N, if he truly cared for you, why did he break up with you over something as trivial as age?" she warned you. "Despite, do you think that he will ever get over the age difference between you? What if you decide that you want children one day, and he does not? What is if you want something else that he cannot give you?" Emma then pointed out, and your heart ached to hear those words, but you remained steadfast.

"Cillian isn't perfect, and neither am I. We both fucked up. He may not get over the age difference between us and maybe it will cause issues later down the track, but I am still young, and I will regret not giving it a try," you admitted.

Emma hesitated, her brow furrowing. She knew you well enough to recognise your resolve.  "Alright," she finally said, sighing heavily. "If you really think this is the right choice, then I won't stop you. Just promise me that you will be careful, okay?"

You nodded solemnly, reaching out to grasp her hand. "I will," you swore. "And thank you for understanding, Emma. I would not have gotten this far without your support," you smiled, a little relieved that you could move forward. "Of course, sweetie, any time.

We have been through some shit together, and this is nothing compared to what we had to endure back in the US," Emma told you before giving you a firm hug.

"So then, provided that all goes well at the fair this evening, should I assume that you are not coming back home tonight?" Emma smirked, knowing very well that if you had your way, you would probably stay at Cillian's apartment and engage in passionate make-up sessions.

"We shall see," you teased playfully, your cheeks reddening slightly. "I should probably get ready," you told Emma before asking to borrow one of her jumpers. Emma chuckled in response, shaking her head fondly. 

"Sure, you can borrow it; just make sure you take it off before you engage in something inappropriate," Emma laughed lightheartedly.

Her comment made you roll your eyes, a small grin spreading across your face.

"Don't worry, Em, I am certain that if something was to happen, the clothes would come off first," you joked, and she laughed along.

"Good!" she responded before you both began to prepare for the day ahead, seeing that, before meeting Cillian, you had rehearsals at the studio starting at ten o'clock. 

Later that evening…

The evening of your third date with Cillian had finally arrived and you were eagerly looking forward to spending the evening at the Dublin Fair. Your friend Emma had told you about this festivity many times before and how magical and colourful it was and she sure was not wrong. 

As soon as you reached the entrance of the fairgrounds, you could not help but feel amazed by the sight that greeted you. The air was filled with excitement, the scent of popcorn, and the sounds of children playing in the nearby attraction.

Cillian was already waiting for you by the entrance gate. His charming smile made it impossible for you not to notice him, even amidst the crowd.

He wore his usual casual attire, a dark grey t-shirt and black jeans, worn-out leather boots and purple socks sticking out above them, complementing his striking looks perfectly.

He approached you with a warm embrace, followed by an affectionate kiss on your cheek.

"Hey," he said, his deep voice resonating with warmth. "Ready to have some fun?" he asked like an excited little boy, and you nodded, a wide grin spreading across your face as you linked arms with him.

"Absolutely, but first tell me, how is your new feline companion?" you asked as, together, you walked along the winding pathway that led towards the centre of the fairgrounds. 

"He is doing well, and Nina loves him," Cillian told you before pulling out his phone and showing you some photos of Nuggets.

"Look at this one!" he exclaimed, pointing at a picture where Nuggets was lying down, wearing a pair of sunglasses, looking quite adorable. Your face broke into a grin, and you both shared a light-hearted laugh.

"Oh my god, you did not..." you laughed, and Cillian confirmed that Nina took the photo, not him. 

As you continued strolling down the narrow pathways, the lively melodies from live bands began to fill the air, drawing you closer to the stage.

Each step you took brought forth more laughter, music, and cheer. Soon enough, you found yourself standing under the colourful tents, surrounded by the aroma of hotdogs and popcorn, with the sweet laughter of children echoing all around. It was hard to resist not stopping at every stand to taste the delightful culinary delights.

Your steps led you further into the heart of the fair, where the most vibrant and animated games stood.

The crowd seemed rowdier here, and the atmosphere was electrifying. As if sensing your excitement, Cillian pulled you closer to him, his hand firmly grasping yours.

"Come on, show me what you got," he suggested with a gleam before pointing to the balloon dart game in the corner, which you knew was a waste of money but fun nonetheless.

You agreed wholeheartedly, feeling a surge of adrenaline at the thought of attempting these games with Cillian. 

"Should we have a competition against each other? Whoever wins the most out of three games gets to pick the first ride?" you asked, playfully challenging him.

"Deal." Cillian agreed without hesitation, flashing you a mischievous grin. "Let's see who is better at throwing darts, me or you. I mean, clearly, I have at least twenty years more experience," Cillian told you with a smug smile on his face.

With a competitive spirit sparkling in your eyes, you both stepped up to the game, getting ready to aim at the colourful balloons hung above. The crowd gathered around, watching intently, adding to the electrifying atmosphere.

The game master gave you both three darts each, explaining the rules clearly to avoid any confusion.

Once he had stepped aside, Cillian positioned himself strategically, taking his time to aim and throw. His intense focus on the target was evident, and he seemed determined to win.

As you watched him, you couldn't help but admire his concentration and skill. His face contorted, and you adored how his freckled nose moved when he tried to put his mind to something like this.

You felt the heat rise within you, not just because of the competitiveness of the situation but also due to the chemistry simmering between you two.

As you threw your first dart, your heart raced with anticipation. With a mixture of precision and luck, you managed to hit a small balloon near the top, causing it to wobble precariously. 

This only fuelled your determination even more. In response, Cillian's face grew serious, focusing entirely on the task at hand. Taking deep breaths, he aimed at another balloon and released his dart swiftly. This time, he struck a bigger target, and the crowd applauded his success. You weren't fazed though, feeling confident in your abilities.

Carefully selecting your second dart, you concentrated all your energy on hitting the largest remaining balloon. As you took aim, your heart beat faster in anticipation.

With careful focus, you released your second dart, aiming straight for the biggest balloon left hanging. To your immense satisfaction, the sharp tip pierced the balloon, popping it instantly. A loud cheer erupted from the crowd surrounding you as you turned triumphantly towards Cillian, grinning proudly.

However, instead of displaying disappointment or frustration, Cillian merely clapped his hands together, acknowledging your victory. A subtle gleam of amusement danced in his eyes, and a faint flush appeared on his cheeks.

"So, about those twenty years of experience, huh?" you teased him as you both headed towards the next round of games. Cillian chuckled in response, his deep laugh filling your ears with pure pleasure. "Don't get too cocky now, young lady. I will still outplay you at many other things," he quipped, playfully bumping shoulders with you.

"We'll see about that," you retorted, nudging him back, your eyes twinkling with mischief before dragging Cillian to two more games, spending at least twenty minutes in this area before, finally, walking away with a plushie.

"So, what ride will you choose?" Cillian then asked since you had won all three games against him, and you suggested the rollercoaster as your first ride.

Cillian nodded in agreement, his eyes meeting yours intensely, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

Your walk to the rollercoaster line was filled with undeniable electricity as if the atmosphere around you mirrored the fire burning within you. 

Unsurprisingly though, as you waited in line, some women recognized him, whispering among themselves and giggling. Although he received a few glances from them, Cillian remained focused on you, completely ignoring their attention.

"I think you sparked their interests," you whispered to him softly, a slight hint of amusement lacing your words.

Cillian chuckled slightly. "I've noticed, but it doesn't bother me. Does it bother you?" Cillian asked, seeing that you were eager to keep your dates casual and out of the tabloids. 

You smiled and shook your head in understanding, appreciating his care for your privacy. "No, it's fine," you reassured him just as you reached the front of the line.

"Ready?" you asked as the anticipation of riding the rollercoaster together heightened your excitement.

"As ready as I can be," Cillian confirmed with a wink, sending a shiver down your spine before; finally, the attendant guided you towards the cosy car that would take you on a thrilling adventure. The sky was clear, casting a soft blue hue over the entire fairgrounds, making it seem even more magical than before. 

As you climbed into the seat, your fingers brushed against Cillian's, and you both shared a secret smile. An indescribable electricity coursed through your veins, heightening your awareness of each other's presence. 

The anticipation was palpable, building with each passing moment. And then, with a sudden jolt, the rollercoaster began its journey, soaring high above the fairgrounds, revealing breathtaking views of Dublin in all its glory.

"Look at this," Cillian exclaimed, gesturing towards the sprawling city below. "Isn't it incredible?" you asked, your eyes gleaming excitedly. 

As you looked out onto the vast landscape, the adrenaline in your system combined with the closeness of Cillian, creating an intoxicating mix. It was not long before you found yourself lost in his deep gaze, unable to look away. Your heart raced, and you could feel the heat between you escalating until, suddenly, the car rode down the deep descent.

This unexpected turn caused you both to clutch onto each other instinctively, your fingers intertwining tightly. Cillian's touch sent a wave of desire coursing through your body, causing your breath to catch in your throat.

"Fuck," you screamed and laughed all at the same time, enjoying the thrill of the rollercoaster ride mixing with the excitement of Cillian's touch.

"That was amazing!" Cillian agreed, his face flushed with excitement. He gripped your hand tightly as if he never wanted to let go.

"Absolutely insane!" you declared as you both leaned forward to inspect the view of the city unfolding beneath you on the second round before making a surprising admission. 

"You know, I have never been on a rollercoaster before," you told Cillian before the car dropped down the metal pathway for a second time. You closed your eyes, feeling the rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins, and then, it was over, and Cillian queried about your statement.

"You have never been on a rollercoaster before? Why?" he asked, letting go of your hand, his fingers lingering on yours for a moment longer than necessary.

"Well, in the US, my foster parents did not take me to places like this. In fact, they did not take me anywhere. They used all the money the system gave them to buy alcohol and cigarettes," you explained heavyheartedly. "Besides, they usually cost a fortune anyway," you told him, causing Cillian to turn towards you in pause. His expression grew solemn as he took in your words.

A frown formed on his brow. "I'm sorry. That must have been hard," he expressed genuine sympathy, and you could sense, once again, that he understood the pain you must have gone through.

Feeling your own emotion stirring within you, you reached for his hand and squeezed it lightly, trying to convey gratitude for his kindness. "It's okay, Cillian. Life has its ups and downs, right?" you tried to lighten the mood with a playful smile. "Anyway, we are here to have fun! Let's enjoy the rest of our night."

"Yes, absolutely," Cillian agreed wholeheartedly, returning your smile with one of his own. "Come on, let's find something else," he suggested before asking you whether there was something else you had not done before. 

"I haven't been on a Ferris wheel before," you admitted, smiling at the idea of conquering yet another new experience.

"Perfect, then let's do it," Cillian replied, already moving towards the Ferris wheel entrance with you.

The Ferris wheel operator ushered you both onto a gondola, which slowly ascended, offering breathtaking panoramic views of the Dublin skyline and, in this moment, a wave of uncomfortableness began to overcome you. You did not like the Ferris wheel stalling. It was much larger than the rollercoaster and, surprisingly, made you anxious.

Cillian noticed this and offered you his supportive arm, wrapping it around your waist in a supportive manner. 

"It's going to be fine; there is nothing to worry about," he told you reassuringly. 

You placed your hand on his, giving him a grateful smile. Feeling calmer, you allowed yourself to enjoy the view while the Ferris wheel turned leisurely, allowing couples on adjacent gondolas to engage in conversation or intimate moments.

As the wheel stopped again briefly to let passengers on and off, your senses heightened, and you could not help but notice how close you two were. The sweet smell of Cillian's cologne mixed with the fresh Irish air swirled around you, creating an intoxicating atmosphere.

"Are you okay now?" he asked as his warm hands cupped your own, reassuring you.

You nodded gratefully again, feeling the anxiety dissipate. "Yes, thank you," you murmured, giving him a gentle smile.

"You're welcome," he replied with an equally gentle smile and as the Ferris wheel continued to rotate, you both took turns admiring the captivating view of Dublin's nightlife, illuminated by a myriad of twinkling lights.

Cillian's hand, which still held yours, felt comfortingly strong and protective, and you could not help but feel an overwhelming sense of contentment. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in this enchanting world of twinkling lights and vibrant colours.

Soon enough, the Ferris wheel stopped, depositing you both onto solid ground. Your feet met the warm pavement, and a wave of euphoria washed over you, heightened by the surge of adrenaline from the Ferris wheel ride.

You both walked aimlessly, embracing the festive atmosphere around you, finding joy in simple pleasures such as the sound of laughter, the taste of sugar-covered treats, and the bright colours filling the fairgrounds.

"So, what is your favourite kind of fast food?" Cillian asked as you stopped at a booth filled with traditional Irish dishes.

"Oh, well, I love fish and chips," you replied smiling, remembering the delicious meal you shared with him earlier.

"Fish and chips, huh? What's your favourite part of it?" Cillian inquired, curious about your preferences. "It would definitely be the flaky, crisp batter on the fish dipped in vinegar," you confessed with a laugh, imagining the tangy taste dancing on your tongue.

"I guess that means that, for our next date, I should take you to the best place in town for fish and chips," Cillian said confidently, already planning another romantic evening together. His easy charm made you feel at ease as if he was always looking out for your happiness.

"Another date, huh?" you giggled in response, blushing slightly at the thought of another romantic evening together.

"Only if you want to," Cillian responded, his eyes sparkling affectionately. He knew just how to make you feel special, and the warmth radiating from his gaze left no doubt in your mind that he genuinely desired your happiness.

"That depends," you smiled, feeling a flutter in your heart at the prospect of sharing more precious moments with him.

"On what?" Cillian asked nervously, glancing at you for reassurance. He seemed apprehensive, worried that your past experiences might affect your willingness to give your relationship another chance. 

"On whether we would be going on this date as boyfriend and girlfriend," you told him confidently, giving him a soft smile. "Because if we aren't, then this would be just another night out among friends," you pointed out, requiring some clarity. 

"But I don't want that," Cillian whispered, his eyes shining with determination. "We have already spent hours talking about why we broke up, and I have realized that it was foolish of me to end things over something as trivial as age. I can't imagine life without you anymore, Y/N" Cillian told you and your heart skipped a beat at his earnest declaration.

"Tell me that you love me," you requested, needing to hear those three little words from him after months apart.

"I love you," Cillian confirmed, his voice filled with sincerity. He paused for a moment, looking deeply into your eyes, as if searching for confirmation of his feelings.

You wrapped your arms around him, pressing your body against his, revelling in the warmth of his embrace. The sweet scent of his cologne combined with the subtle fragrance of the nighttime fair created an almost intoxicating atmosphere.

"How much?" you teased playfully, pulling away from Cillian's embrace to examine the delectable options lined up before you. Cillian watched you closely, amused by your curiosity.

"An awful lot, Y/N,” Cillian confirmed. “Do you know how much you mean to me?" he then asked, taking your hand gently and leading you to a corner where no one could see you. His eyes burned with desire, reflecting his deep yearning for you.

"I want you to tell me, Cillian. Tell me exactly how much I mean to you," you demanded with an urgency that surprised even yourself. 

Cillian drew you closer, cradling your face tenderly between his palms. With a fierce intensity, he proclaimed, "I love you with all my heart, and you mean the world to me. I was an idiot, alright? I was afraid of my own feelings, but I am not anymore. I want you back and I want to make things right. Fuck the tabloids or what people might think about it. I no longer care. I just want you, alright?" Cillian declared, his eyes brimming with passion before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours, a slow, tender kiss that sent waves of longing coursing through your veins. The connection between you both was undeniably powerful, drawing out a moan from deep within your core.

"Take me to your apartment," you eventually whispered as, even in the corner you had chosen, people saw you kissing and making out. "I want to be alone with you," you said breathlessly, running your fingers through his hair, loving the feel of his skin beneath your touch.

Cillian grinned, kissing you once more before turning to head toward the fair's exit point. 

"Are you sure you don't want to go on some more rights first?" Cillian asked, seeing that there was so much more to explore.

"I am sure Cillian. I much rather ride you," you joked playfully, causing Cillian to laugh. 

"I should have seen that line coming," he chuckled before replying, "Alright, let's head to my apartment,” he told you and, with the promise of hot, steamy nights ahead, you both exited the Dublin Fair, holding hands tightly amidst the crowd. 

The cool night air tickled your skin, sending shivers down your spine as you both ventured toward his residence. As the streets became quieter, your anticipation grew.

“I missed you, you know?” you said, as hand in hand, you wandered the streets, causing Cillian to stop and pull you aside.

“I missed you too,” Cillian told you, holding your hands tightly before planting another kiss on your lips.

[tepkunset]

Rating all* the Hellfire Gala 2023 Outfits in my Correct Opinion

*At least, all that I can find, because Marvel decided fuck making that easy in a little book or a single post like last year.

(Long post alert!)

Iceman, I love most of this look. The accented orange is perfect for the mostly blue look, and I love that he has a matching earring for his cuff-links. Such a nice touch! But those rubber boots, man... those rubber boots ruin it for me. 8/10

Fisk is giving off some Doctor Doom vibes with this outfit. I love the regalness of it, especially the golden leaves behind the ear. 9/10

??? I'm not sure who this is, but their outfit looks like they're going to a Halloween party rather than a gala. 3/10

Emma, oh my god, YES. Almost always delivering, and this is definitely one of those cases! 10/10

Xavier... I hate to say it, but I genuinely love this look. He's bringing major space man vibes, and it's super elegant at the same time. 9/10

Bishop doesn't even get points for effort. He got a red suit then slapped some belts on it. Boring as fuck. 1/10

I was about to write another "???" because I had no idea who this was, until it occurred to me that I think this is supposed to be Scarlet Witch? Except she is super duper whitewashed, so I did not even recognize her. Auto-failure regardless of the look. 0/10

Proteus looks moderately snazzy, but out of the Five is the least interesting in my opinion. 3/10

Egg has a cool coat, but those balls around his neck are way too big and awkward. 4/10

Hope looks a little like a fairy princess here, and I like that! 7/10

Tempus looks like she's going to a prom more than a gala, and I don't know what's going on with that giant shoulder piece. Did Cable lend it to her or something? 4/10

Elixir, my golden boy, is embracing the shiny and I love it! 9/10

Exodus seems to be trying out a new costume rather than a gala look, but in terms of style, it's fine. 5/10

Vision's outfit is as boring as he is. 1/10

Miles, holy shit. Miles should be giving lessons to everyone else on how to actually make a suit look unique! Bishop, take notes. 9/10

Old Laura looks like she's dressed for a gothic funeral more than a gala, but at least that's to her style rather than some crazy OOC look. So, points for that. 5/10

T'Challa... I. Am. Swooning. I know he's not a king right now but damn does he ever look like it in this outfit. The beautiful patterns and complimentary colours, holy shit. 10/10

Synch has certainly done way better in the past. It's just a plain black suit without a shirt, for fuck sake. 2/10

Captain Marvel looks like she's a marching bad, lol. The stars in the hair are a nice touch, though. 3/10

Jean's look is, I know, divisive. I've seen some people say they adore this design, and some people say they hate it. I'm personally on the fence. I think it would be better without the stupid helmet, that's for sure. And I think it looks a little too much like an Emma Frost design, if you were to just colour it white. 5/10

Fantomex? Where the fuck have you been? Anyway, he literally just looks like he always looks but with some sunglasses lmfao. 0/10

Dylan looks like a moody teen as ever, lol. I do like the black and white though. 6/10

Black Cat... Like I said, I like black and white together, but this is giving me too much Cruella de Vil vibes. 4/10

Mary Jane just picked up an evening gown off the rack I guess. 2/10

Firestar, I think? Not actually positive if it's her. Anyway, the sleeves are a bit too much for me, but I love the fiery frills on the cape. 5/10

Thor looks so ugly here lmfao I'm sorry but I hate this look. It's way too clunky. 0/10

At first I thought this was Kwannon, but then I remembered seeing panels and I believe it's Kitty/Kate. Anyway, I like the lace-up boots and I like the frills. 7/10

Hellcat looks like she's took some inspiration from a wrestler's pre-fight look, and I like that. It's simplistic but just enough stylish to pass. 6/10

Nova, going with a tits out look as well I see. I like the feathered shoulder pads, and I like the skirt. 6/10

Moon Knight, oh my god, I have a strong feeling it was Steven who pulled the strings to get a gala look, because there's no fucking way Marc or Jake would be caught dead there. Anyway, this is exactly the type of vibe I would expect from MK, maybe even a bit more playful than that with the mesh part of the top. And I really like it up until the strange boots. He and Iceman must've compared notes or something. Still, 8/10

Psylocke - now THIS is Kwannon for sure! I like the classical ninja meets evening gown look, and I like that she's sexy but not to the point of being objectified, which is a refreshing change for how artists often treat her. 8/10

Destiny and Mystique I will rate together because the score is the same: A what the fuck level of 0/10.

Forge looks fucking awesome, especially compared to last year. I love the fringe and the scarf and the jewellery and the cane... it's a complete look that gives me great vibes. 8/10

Cyclops, come on, man. You can do better than this, can't you? He looks like Mister Sinister dressed him or something. 1/10

Cuckoos look like they stepped off the set of Tron: Legacy. Or a Daft Punk concert. Not complaining to be clear, this look fucks. 10/10

[melswifeasf]

Safest in your arms pt 3

previous chapter || next chapter || series page

Pairing: Georgia Miller x Fem!OC

Summary: it’s Samanthas 18th birthday, meaning she’s legal now…

Warnings: (18+) MDNI, Cursing, Drug use, alcohol consumption, age gap relationships (18 and 30) grooming, sexual themes.

FALLING BACK INTO A ROUTINE WAS HARD FOR ANYONE. that was especially true for Samantha. she wasn't always the best at facing change, so when she went from working and hanging out with her friends all summer - as well as going to the beach with her parents, she wasn't used to having to deal with school and the stress of having to turn in her school work before a deadline.

it was why she needed to completely let go of herself Friday and she did. she got a lot more intoxicated then what she planned, she lost count of how many shots she took at the party and when a blonde with pretty blue eyes looked at her from across the room, she just couldn't let the opportunity run past her.

the sex was amazing and Emma even left the next morning like Samantha had told her. it was why she asked Marcus to leave the door unlocked, as soon as the clock hit six, Emma got up and left. no one was supposed to see her and yet someone did.

Samantha spent most of her Saturday hungover and watching movies with her blinds closed and her lights off the whole day. even her friends were recovering from the day before so she didn't see them until it got dark out. Nia and Jade brought her tacos and put on a 2000s romcom movie. they didn't even get through half of it though, as soon as they were done eating they all fell asleep. Sunday was as lazy as Saturday, they didn't have any plans so they all just hung out at Samanthas place until Ellen told them they should head home.

it was just easier to be at Samantha's house, the twins moms were a bit strict when it came the hours they could have company, Natalies house was always off limits because Brodie would have his friends over and Jade had three annoying little brothers that would make it their job to annoy the shit out of them. they sometimes hung out in Matthews basement but Samantha did not want to leave her house.

Wednesday rolled around pretty quickly. Monday was slow and Samantha had a long shift, Tuesday she had to tutor some freshman for extra credit and had yet another long shift at work so as soon as her head hit her pillow she was out like a light. that meant she hadn't seen Georgia since the second time they got high together. she didn't have much time to really think about the blonde, her schedule was filled to the point in which she didn't have time to think about anything, really.

the front door swung open and in walked Samantha with the twins and Matthew trailing behind her. their talking died down when they were in the house, the topic of conversation far too inappropriate for Samanthas parents to hear. "hello lads" she called out as she saw her dad and brother watching something on the tv. Marcus only glanced at her in acknowledgement and then turned his attention back to the screen. her dad shot her a warm smile that she quickly recuperated.

her friends signed hello to him, a gesture that always warmed her heart. growing up it was hard introducing her friends to her dad so when they first became friends she made sure they never hung out at her place. it wasn't that she was embarrassed because she could never be but she just found it complicated, up until the day they found out on their own and they all learned how to sign greetings and goodbyes. after time they would ask her how to say different things and even though they were a bit botchy, it was the fact that they even made the effort that was enough for her.

she walked into the kitchen as happy as ever but the smile on her lips twitched at the sight in front of her. Georgia, her hot neighbor was in her kitchen and talking to her mom like they were old friends, sipping on wine. the two women looked at Samantha and then at her friends as they followed her into the kitchen. it wasn't noticeable that Samantha stopped for a split second, processing the sight before her and then she continued walking toward the fridge.

"hey Georgia, mom" she said as she opened the fridge and grabbed a couple of gatorade's.

"Mrs Baker, lovely to see you" she heard Matthew say making her snort out a laugh, it was a wonder why her mom liked the kid so much. the fridge closed with Samantha's foot and she turned back toward her friends. she threw each bottle to each teen and they each caught it swiftly.

"we're all gonna chill for a while" Samantha said her eyes glancing at the blonde woman who was sipping on the red wine in her glass, all whilst watching her. it was almost like deja vu from Friday.

Ellen nodded, "okay, there's left overs in the fridge if you guys would like some" she said and turned slightly to indicate she was also talking to the other three teens in her kitchen.

"thank you" they all said at the same time it was almost comical.

Samantha chuckled, "thanks mom. i'm gonna head up though" she said and began to uncap the purple gatorade in her hand, Ellen nodded as Samantha walked past them. she was about join her friends and walk upstairs when her moms voice stopped her.

"hey, wait" she said making the girl freeze in her spot, the tone in which her mom spoke made her believe this was either going to end with her in trouble or her having to get one of her siblings in trouble.

"what's up?" she asked now turning to face the two women. she tried her best to not glance at Georgia but it was getting really hard with the blonde being so close to her and the smell of her perfume was starting to intoxicate her.

"do you have a finsta?" Ellen asked bluntly. Samantha's eyebrows furrowed and she let out a confused chuckle, why was she asking this?

"what?"

"you should leave while you still can" Marcus called out from the living room making Ellen turn to look at him in annoyance before turning back toward her daughter.

"do you?" Ellen repeated with a raised brow.

Samantha glanced at Georgia who had her usual smile, her eyes narrowed on the blonde. "why do i get the feeling you have something to do with this?" she asked Georgia who shrugged.

"im not sure what you mean"

"uh huh" Samantha nodded and then turned toward her mom. she could see her friends looking between each other from the corner of her eye. she had two options in this, she could either be honest and possibly have to deal with her mom seeing her private post or she could lie and have Georgia crack the truth out of her. "i don't, im confused on why you're asking me this though" she said looking at her mom.

Ellen watched her daughters facial features, trying to see if she was lying but she didn't find any sign of it so she let out a sigh. "i just found out your sister has a finsta and she's been keeping quite a lot of stuff from me" she said and grabbed the phone that was sitting on the countertop between her and Georgia. "did you know she threw a party in the house in Maine?"

the raven haired girls eyebrows shot up in fake surprise, "really? Max? i would expect that from Marcus but not her" she answered earning a groan from her brother. she was obviously lying but she was always able to trick her mom into believing otherwise.

"i said the same thing" Ellen said with a shake of her head. "but okay, you can go now" she said and grabbed the glass on wine in front of her before downing the liquid inside.

Samantha looked at her mom slightly shocked and then glanced at Georgia who was already looking at her. memories of Friday night flashed through her mind like a bucket of hot water was poured on her. the taste of Emma's lips, the feeling of someone watching them.. god it was too much.

she cleared her throat and walked away, not sparing Georgia or her mom another glance as she led her friends upstairs and into her room. she felt bad for lying to her mom but it's not like her finsta had anything all that bad, mostly just pictures of her at parties, drunk off her ass or beach pictures of her in a bikini that she did not want her mom to ever see.

a notification echoing throughout the room pulled Samanthas attention away from her friends phone and to her own. her and Nia were laying on her bed whilst watching Tiktok's, Matthew and Oliver had left already. Oliver had to pick up Natalie and Matthew didn't want to third wheel with two girls. by now Max was home and Samantha and Nia quietly eavesdropped on the stairs. after they went outside to smoke since Nia was going to spend the night.

"who is it?" Nia asked watching as Samantha searched for her phone on the bed, once she finally found it the bright light illuminated her face.

"i dont know" she mumbled, it was a friend request on instagram. her thumb pressed on the app and she clicked on the account that had just followed her. "do you know a Viviane Leigh?" she asked and threw her head back onto her pillow. Samantha felt her friend shake her head as she rested her own head on the girls shoulder.

"i don't think so," Nia said and watched as her friend scrolled through the account, "it looks like one of those weird burner accounts though" she said earning a laugh from her friend.

"that's your paranoia"

"or maybe it's that blondie you hooked up with," Nia said bumping her friends arm with her own. Samantha shook her head.

"her names Emma" she clarified.

"okay. well, why didn't you ever text her back? she seemed really nice and pretty. your mom would love her" Nia said making her friend let out a chuckle.

"don't get me wrong, the sex was amazing but that's pretty much it. it was so awkward when we were talking at the party" she said. the memories of that night made her cringe even just thinking about it, when they first introduced themselves it was fine then Emma lingered and tried to spark a conversation but all she really talked about was cheer and tried to figure out if they had any friends i common which they did not.

whilst Nia expressed how her friend was emotionally unavailable, the shorter girl was accepting the friend request. not even a minute later a DM was sent from that account. her eyebrows furrowed and she clicked on the message.

Vivian Leigh

i thought you didn't have a finsta?

a toothy grin appeared on the girls face as she read the message. it didn't take a genius to know who it was. her thumbs tapped against the screen as she quickly came up with a response.

Sams life

i didn't peg you for a stalker, Miller

Vivian Leigh

i see we're using last names now?

Sams life

nah. just yours. pls tell me you didn't

tell my mom about this though??

Vivian Leigh

don't worry, your secret is safe with me.

Sams life

well that's a relief

Sams life

why Vivian Leigh, though?

Vivian Leigh

seriously?? gone with the wind?

Sams life

what now?

Vivian Leigh

oh god, i forget you're still a child.

Sams life

haha, i'll have you know i'm gonna be

legal in two days

Vivian Leigh

your birthday is on Friday?

Sams life

yes ma'am

Sams life

id invite you to my party but we

don't rlly let boomers in

Vivian Leigh

i'm a boomer now? ouch.

Sams life

lmao i think your a millennial actually

Sams life

same thing, really

Vivian Leigh

i think i'm okay with that, i'd be doomed

not knowing gone with the wind.

Sams life

LMAO

Vivian Leigh

and using whatever that means every message

Sams life

okay now im the offended one

Sams life

lmao stands for l=laughing m=my a=ass

o=off

Sams life

your welcome for the grammar lesson

Vivian Leigh

wow your an amazing teacher.

Sams life

okay, i know your being sarcastic but

i'll take it!

Vivian Leigh

oh and your using punctuation, even better.

Sams life

ofc

Sams life

i'm assuming you know what that means

the raven haired girl was smiling so wide she had to bite her lip in order to disguise herself a bit. of course there was no hiding anything from her best friend who had been staring at her ever since she started texting Georgia. Samantha was so caught up on her phone and watching the typing.. to even realize her friend was watching her extremely confused. Nia expected her friend to realize she had been staring at her for the past five minutes but Samantha was still staring at the device in her hand.

"so it wasn't Emma but by shit eating grin you have right now i'm guessing it's another hottie?" the curly haired brunette said making her friends eyes slowly leave her screen and turn to her. Samantha's eyes seemed distant as she processed her words until finally she shook her head.

"it's just Georgia" she said and turned back to her phone.

Vivian Leigh

okay wow, i'm thirty but not stupid.

Sams life

okay yeah, my bad

Sams life

have you missed our smoke seshs?

Nia rolled her eyes at her friend and waved a hand in front of the girls face, Samanthas attention went from her phone to Nia. "what?" she chuckled, her phone was now laying on her bed, screen up shinning light on the ceiling.

"why is she texting you?" Nia questioned.

Samantha shrugged, "i don't know. she just found my private account and that's it" she explained and picked her phone back up.

"don't you think it's weird she's texting you?"

"nah. she's just being friendly" Samantha explained and waited for Georgia to message her back. the girl beside her examined Samanthas face, her eyes were shinning and they weren't a cause of the light on her phone, she had her lip in between her teeth and she could tell it was to hide a smile. she really hoped Samantha wasn't dumb enough to fall in love with an older woman - especially not the mother of her sisters best friend. she didn't want to burst her friends bubble, not yet at least so she simply turned her own phone back on and went back to her social media.

Vivan Leigh

is that what we're calling it?

Sams life

that's what everyone calls it

Vivian Leigh

right. sure.

Sams life

so you have missed me?

Vivian Leigh

i missed the free weed.

Sams life

fine, i'll take it.

Sams life

oh and btw, i loved your top today;)

Vivian Leigh

goodnight Samantha

Sams life

night Georgia

but Samantha couldn't sleep, no matter how much she tossed and turned, she simply could not get her mind to stop thinking about the woman across the street. even when her best friend held her close, usually that would be enough for her to fall asleep immediately but this time around it wasn't enough.

she knew she was playing a dangerous game. one that could potentially get them both in a lot of trouble but she simply craved Georgia. everything about her, the way she laughed, her accent that always gave Samantha chills, or the way she always knew what to say and do to make others feel more comfortable. it was the way she looked at her, the perfume she would always wear that at this point it was Samanthas favorite smell, even just her smile. it was all so addicting and Samantha was scared there wouldn't be a way out of this, afraid she'd end up falling for yet another straight girl.

birthdays weren't always Samanthas favorite. she didn't really like celebrating it when she was younger, she wasn't used to being the center of attention so it was always awkward. to top it off she never had any friends to celebrate with which just always reminded her how alone she really was. until her twelfth birthday, it was when she had met the twins and it was also the first year she had gone out to celebrate without her parents. they had gone the simple route and went to the movies. on her thirteenth birthday, they went to the pool, on her fourteenth they threw a small party with just them and it was the first time they ever tasted alcohol. on her fifteenth birthday, she spent it with her parents, her sixteenth they threw her a surprise party and on her seventeenth, she was so drunk she couldn't even remember it.

this time around it would be the same as the year before. Matthew would be throwing a party at his house, his mom was going on a business trip meaning he had an empty house and enough room to invite almost every senior. there was no doubt in anyone's mind that they'd all come, Samantha had a way of making friend unintentionally. even when she was younger, she always thought she didn't have any friends when she reality was she just never cared to pay attention to the people around her.

that morning Samantha was woken up by loud whispers. she thought she was dreaming at first, a weird dream with familiar voices whispering over one another followed by them hushing each other because they were talking too loud. she groaned lowly, her eyelids felt heavy and she wasn't supposed to be awake yet considering her alarm hadn't sounded. who the hell was waking her up then?

that question was answers pretty quickly, Samantha blinked one eye open, afraid that if she opened both she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. when she adjusted to the light coming from the curtains and the blobs above her she realized they weren't blobs, it was her friends all sporting huge grins.

"happy birthday!" they all said at the same time making the girls eyes widen and her body shot up, her heart was beating fast and her eyes were wide.

"holy shit" she muttered lowly, it took her a couple of seconds before her mind caught up to her body and a smile formed on her lips. "guys" she said her voice a lot softer now. "what the hell?"

they were each still smiling at her, Matthew was holding balloons in one hand and Nia was holding a cupcake with a single candle. "we know you hate when we sing happy birthday so here, blow it out" Nia said bringing the cupcake closer to the shorter girl. Samantha smiled at that, they were always thoughtful, all of them.

"but you still have to make a wish" Oliver said pointing at her making the girl roll her eyes with a small smile. she didn't fight his words, knowing if she did they would just light the candle again and make her blow it out for a second time. the latina girl closed her eyes, she made a quick wish and then opened them and blew out the candle.

"hell yeah" Matthew clapped and began to whistle, Samantha rolled her eyes once more and a breathy giggle left her lips at his actions.

"you're so annoying" she said but her happy tone of voice said otherwise.

"come on, get ready. Ellen's making breakfast" Oliver said rubbing his hands together.

"okay fine" Samantha said and threw the blankets off of her, she was about to go to her dresser and pick out an outfit when a bunch of hands were pulling her into a tight embrace.

"cant forget about our annual group hug!" Matthew exclaimed. no one seemed to be protesting though, Samantha laughed with a slight shake of her head.

"im being suffocated" she said dramatically and they all laughed before pulling away.

"you know you can't escape it" Oliver said with a wink.

"oh, i know"

a shower and a half an hour long conversation later Samantha was walking down the stairs with her friends on her heel. footsteps echoed throughout pretty much the whole house as well as loud chatter, having five teens over was bound to get noisy and at this point Ellen and Clint were used to it.

the raven haired girl was wearing light washed jeans that were slightly baggy and a white tank top that showed most of her stomach. once they reached the bottom of the stairs Samantha could see her mom and siblings in the kitchen most likely already eating breakfast.

"good morning and happy birthday!" Ellen said happily rushing over to daughter and pulling her into a tight hug. Samantha giggled as she accepted her mothers hug, recuperating it with as much as strength as she was receiving.

"thanks, mom" she responded with a slight laugh. Ellen pulled away happily to let her dad go next. he signed the young girl happy birthday and i love you before he pulled the girl into a tight hug, even though this was probably the fifth time she had been hugged in the last hour she hugged her father back with any protest.

once he pulled away Marcus stood from his chair and gave her a side hug, "happy birthday loser"

"awe, thanks Marcus" she cooed teasingly and hugged him with unnecessary strength. even though any other time he would've rolled his eyes and pushed her away, this time he didn't. he let his sister hug her for as long as she wanted and even a small crack of a smile formed on his lips that didn't go unnoticed by his mom who chose to not comment on it, not wanting to ruin the moment between the two.

Maxine was up next in line, she had her usual happy smile and threw her arms around her sister, "happy birthday, happy birthday!" she cheered happily practically bouncing in excitement.

Samantha chuckled, "thank you" she responded and tried to match her sisters excitement but that was practically impossible.

"okay, everyone grab a plate" Ellen said pointing at Samantha's friends as well as Samantha. the young girl saluted her mother and followed her orders, the five teens behind her mimicking her actions.

when breakfast was over Samantha, her friends and the twins walked outside to the car only for her to realize it was all decorated. she wanted to roll her eyes and complain about how it would be a bitch to take out but her friends and siblings were smiling with so much excitement that she didn't. it was also the fact that Marcus nor Max ever really talked to her friends and now they planned this together, just for her.

the words 'it's my bday bitches' was on the back of her car and the right back window had a huge eighteen whilst the other had 'finally legal'. she thought the second one was funny.

at school she was congratulated by a lot of people, some she wasn't aware they cared enough to take time out of their day just to wish her a happy birthday but regardless she was more than thankful. once lunch rolled around they all left school and went to blue farm. Samantha was sitting in between Nia and Jade whilst the other three were across from her.

someone else who said happy birthday? Georgia Miller.

Vivian Leigh 6:00am

happy birthday legal

it was cute that she remembered and it was even cuter that she had sent it exactly at six in the morning. they had been talking for the past two days and in that time Samantha commented on the fact that she was born at that time and in all honesty, it gave Samantha butterflies that she even remembered let alone took the time to text her at that exact time.

"so i got a keg and tequila cause 'you hate vodka' or whatever" Matthew said holding her hands up in quotations earning an amused eye roll from the girl across from him.

"thanks Matty" she answered now making him roll his eyes with an exasperated groan.

"you're just lucky it's your birthday" he said referring to the nickname she had just called him which he had a distaste for.

"it's every year" she shrugged.

Matthew hummed, "uh huh" he leaned back against his chair with his arms crossed.

"anyway," Jade said glancing between the two with slightly narrowed eyes. "what's the plan though? who's driving?" she asked and everyone immediately perked up at her words.

"yeah, i drove last time and i need to get wasted tonight" Nia said desperately.

Matthew shrugged, "everyone could just spend the night" he offered.

"hell yeah, man" Oliver said patting the boy on his shoulder roughly.

Matthew smirked and turned toward Oliver, "my parents room is off limits" he said with a smile. at that Oliver rolled his eyes and his smile was replaced by a disappointed sigh.

"it's okay, we'll just do it in your room" Natalie smirked making Matthews head snap toward her.

"absolutely not"

"why? it's not like your getting laid. didn't you leave at midnight last time?" she asked referring to the one they attended the week before. Matthew stiffened at her words and he subconsciously glanced at Nia who had a light pink coating her cheeks.

no one seemed to notice that other than Samantha though. did something happen? no, otherwise Nia would have told her.. right? they weren't the type to ever keep secrets from each other and thought of her doing so made her chest tighten.

"anyway," Jade cleared her throat, "is that cool with you?" she asked turning toward Samantha.

"yeah" she answered, she'd rather get wasted and know she could just fall asleep where she was rather than have to worry about someone taking her home and trying her best to hide how wasted she is from her parents. plus, she wouldn't have a curfew which was the best part.

"cool so i'll just pick you two up" Nia said glancing at Samantha and Jade who both nodded in agreement.

"question" Natalie spoke, "what are we all wearing"

"im wearing a tux" Matthew smirked widely.

Samantha snorted, "yeah, no." she shook her head at Matthew who glared back at her. "im wearing a dress. i'm thinking red but i'm not sure yet" she said turning her attention back to Natalie who nodded in return.

"so what do i wear" Matthew said sighing dramatically. Samantha raised an eyebrow at him and stirred her coffee in front of her with a straw.

"i don't know," she shrugged. "a button up? a polo? don't you know how to dress yourself?"

Matthew shrugged as well, "i know how to dress myself when i'm not hosting at my place"

"it's really not that different" Jade commented.

"cool, so a button up it is, i guess" he muttered and Oliver nudged him.

"im wearing a white one, so it's off limits"

"oh yeah, just choose the most common color to exist" Matthew nodded. Oliver simply shrugged and threw an arm around his girlfriends shoulder.

after that the girls began to banter about their outfits and who's place they were gonna get ready in when Matthew said they should all just do it at his place since it would be easier. soon their plan for the day was settled, that is until a very important topic of conversation came up.

"please tell me you didn't invite Marcus or Maxine" Jade said looking at her friend. Samantha was sipping on her coffee, not really listening until she realized everyone's eyes were on her.

"huh?" she said confusedly, she back tracked to try and remember what her friend said until finally she did. she put her coffee on the table and shook her head, "of course not. are you kidding? first of all, Max is grounded for lying and Marcus wouldn't be caught dead at a high school party unless it's all his emo friends" she said with a slight laugh.

"okay thank god. no offense but Maxine can be a little.." Jade trialed off.

"dramatic? loud? a ball of energy?" Samantha offered to which Jade simply nodded. "yeah i know. plus she'd just invite all her little friends and i do not want any sophomores at my party" she shook her head at the thought.

she was once a sophomore and knew what it was like to want to get invited to sophomore parties but she really did not want to deal with her sister. not only did she not like any of her friends but she knew she'd end up getting drunk or high and she'd have to spend the whole time sober and keeping an eye on her. she did not need neither one of those things. her friends murmured in agreement.

the door of the restaurant opened earning Samantha's attention, she glanced in the direction of it before turning back around to her table. one.. two.. three seconds later her head whipped around to the door again where she saw Georgia with her usual smile approaching Joe at the cashier. whatever Matthew and Oliver were talking about wasn't being processed by her as she watched the blonde chat with Joe as if they were friends. she assumed they were by now, Joe wasn't the most talkative but he was a nice guy and Samantha's sure Georgia had seen that by now.

Joe nodded at something Georgia had said - Samantha was too far away from them to hear what they were talking about though. once the bearded man was gone Georgia turned her body and leaned her side on the counter a bit as she looked around the place, of course her eyes landed on the girl who was already looking at her. a flash of a smile passed Georgia before she turned back around but that wasn't enough for Samantha. she had to say something.

"i'll be back" she muttered and stood from her chair, the conversation that was going on at the table stopped immediately after as they all watched their friend walk toward the blonde woman.

"hey," Samantha said once she was near her, Georgia turned to look at Samantha with a smile. she looked beautiful but that didn't surprise the raven haired girl, she always looked flawless even late at night when she would sneak into her balcony to smoke with her.

"hey stranger," Georgia answered enthusiastically, much like she always did. "happy birthday" she smiled and Samantha wasn't sure if she was imagining it but the smile seemed so sincere it gave her a wave of butterflies.

"thanks," Samantha said with a matching smile.

"i would give you your present but i don't want you to be disappointed every time you get one after" she said with a fake frown.

Samantha rolled her eyes at her, "is it that good?"

"of course"

"so then you'll have to take it to me tonight" she confirmed taking a step closer the the blonde. it wasn't enough to draw any attention to them but enough for her to smell the perfume she loved so much. it was intoxicating but she craved that feeling, every day. "at Matthews place, by the way"

Georgia raised a perfectly plucked brow, "i thought boomers weren't invited?"

"you're a millennial remember?" Samantha asked ranting a chuckle from the blonde.

"right" she nodded.

the raven haired girl sent her a sly wink and began to walk backwards, "you're not getting out of this"

Georgia laughed, "we'll see about that"

with one last look at the blonde Samantha went back to her friends table and sat down. she tried her best to hide the huge grin but it was almost impossible. she was too busy recollecting her thoughts to even realize that all of her friends were looking at her with confused looks.

it wasn't until Matthew spoke that she snapped out of it, "what the absolute hell was that?" he asked loudly making everyone at the table shush him as questions looks were being thrown their way.

"what?" Samantha asked calmly, "i just went over to say hi" she shrugged as if it weren't a big deal. in truth it wasn't, or she didn't think it was. it's not like she and Georgia were doing anything wrong.

"yeah, sure" Matthew nodded with narrowed eyes, Samantha decided to ignore him and began to talk about what they would be drinking later that night.

loud music echoed throughout the whole house and it was a miracle none of the neighbors had called the cops. it was past midnight - or at least that's what Samantha thinks. she isn't entirely sure. she was way past her limit and she needed to lean on something to even be able to stand.

after blue farm they all went home to get their things ready for the party. Samantha spent half an hour packing her stuff and then she and her family went to dinner to celebrate. it was nice, Marcus and Maxine were on their best behavior and it was actually enjoyable without them bickering and arguing back and forth. after dinner they went home to cut the cake and open presents. Marcus gifted his sister a small stuffed ghost face - she was obsessed with the movies and anyone who really knew her knew that. Maxine had gotten her flowers which she thought was cute. Ellen and Clint bad gifted their daughter a 'Coach' bag that she almost cried when she saw.

later Nia had picked her up and they went straight to Matthews house. they all got ready there which also meant they started drinking as soon as they got there and now after five hours they were all pretty drunk. they all decided to overdress for the occasion, all of the girls in dresses and heels or skirts at the least whilst Matthew and Oliver both had button ups and dress pants. it was Samanthas birthday and she had put that down as a ground rule and who were they to defy her on her birthday.

Samantha wore a red dress that fit her body tightly, it went down to a fourth of her thigh and her black heels made her about two inches taller. she curled her hair and had on red lipstick to match her dress.

most people started arriving at around ten and by midnight it was at full swing. most were in Matthews basement, the lights were off and the speakers were blasting a song that Samantha didn't know the name of. she was sitting on Matthews couch with him, Jade and Nia sitting around her. Matthew was on the ground whilst Jade was beside Samantha and Nia was laying down. by now most of the guests had left, only a handful of them still around but it was mostly just people that were really close to the group. Matthew had a bong in hand and a lighter in the other as he smoked. everyone was wasted so the only two who were also smoking were him and Nia. Jade and Samantha were far too out of it and that combined with weed would just fuck them up even more.

"i really hope Oliver and Natalie arent fucking on my bed" Matthew said with a slight laugh. Nia laughed along with him, she sounded out of breath and she laid her head on Samantha's shoulder.

Samantha grimaced at the thought, "that's disgusting" she shook her head. Matthew and Nia continued to laugh breathily, both completely out of it at this point whilst Jade sang along to the song playing. she had her vape in one hand and every once in a while and cloud of smoke would escape her lips.

Samantha had planned on hooking up with someone, a stranger, preferably but she didn't bring herself to do so. she spent most of her time with the teens around her throughout the whole night and the one time a pretty brunette approached her, she thanked her for complimenting her and said she needed some air. she wasn't sure what was wrong, any other time she would've flirted back and by now would've been hooking up in a bathroom or in one of the many spare bedrooms in the house.

instead she was watching Nia and Matthew try to ghost and fail miserably at it. she wasn't all that sure how they were even still awake by how high they were. Jade laughed at them, her back shaking in the process and her head fell back against the couch.

but she did know why she didn't want to hook up with any of the girls she had seen tonight. it had to do with it a pretty blonde that had been consuming her thoughts ever since she saw her at blue farm. every time she thought about kissing someone else she'd feel a sense of dread in the depths of her stomach and she hated it. how could someone fuck her up this badly when all they've ever done is talk? it was annoying and all she wanted to do was rip her name out of her brain and never have to think about her again.

that was a lie.

of course it was a lie because Georgia was forbidden, every sense and it only made Samantha want her even more. so she did the only thing her drunken mind could think of, even if she might regret it in the morning or even if she wouldn't get a response. the raven haired girl grabbed her phone that was on her lap and turned it on, the time read 3:23am her lock screen staring back at her. it was of her and her friends when they had all gone down to florida last spring break, each of them were all dressed up, makeup and dresses with button ups on the boys. there were all at a fancy restaurant, the girls sitting down with the boys standing behind them, each with huge grins.

she swiped up and went straight to her instagram, she double checked to make sure she was on her private account and went to her dms where she found the one person she wanted by her side.

Sams life

hi

the light shining back at her was bright and it made her squint even after her eyes had adjusted to the bright light. her mind was fuzzy and her thumbs felt heavy but that didn't stop her from waiting for the blonde woman to respond. she stared at her screen for the next five minutes, her eyes occasionally glancing at the time to see how much time had passed and she even went back a couple of messages after a minute or so to distract herself.

finally after those five minutes she saw her message had been read and a second later the word typing.. was displayed on the chat. she pulled her head from one side to another as she waited for a response. finally she got one.

Vivian Leigh

hey

the girl bit her lip as she thought about what to say. she didn't think this far into it, she only wanted a response from the blonde but now that she got one she had no idea what she could even say. the only thing her drunken mind could really think of was how much she wanted Georgia by her side, how much she missed having her close, missed those meaningless conversations that meant the most to her. her thumbs aggressively typed on her phone, a response that could be like a bomb and blow up their whole relationship.

Sams life

i miss you

a second of hesitation.

Vivian Leigh

are you drunk?

Sams life

what if i am?

Vivian Leigh

you should probably be asleep right now.

Sams life

not tired

Vivian Leigh

it's three am.

Sams life

ur point?

Vivian Leigh

seriously, go to sleep. your gonna be

hungover tomorrow

Sams life

sounds like tm Sams problem

Vivian Leigh

Samantha

the raven haired girl chuckled drunkenly.

Sams life

Georgia

Vivian Leigh

are you at least safe? do you need a ride home?

a fuzzy feeling formed in the girls stomach at her words. she cared. she had to care otherwise she wouldn't have responded let alone worried for her safety.

Sams life

you worried about me, Miller?

Vivian Leigh

i'm serious, Samantha.

Sams life

yeah, i'm staying at Mattys place.

Vivian Leigh

okay good. make sure to drink water before

you go to sleep

Sams life

so when do i get my present?

Vivian Leigh

what present?

Sams life

the one i was promised at blue farm.

Vivian Leigh

haha i thought we were mutually aware that

i was joking

Samantha's lips tugged into a frown at her words. she didn't care about the present part, she just wanted to see her. if she wasn't this drunk she would've drove over to her house simply just to see her face but she could barely stand let alone drive without killing herself or someone else in the process.

Sams life

pls come over

Vivian Leigh

Samantha. your drunk.

Sams life

pls pls pls

Sams life

i really want to see you

Sams life

it can count at my bday present

Vivian Leigh

it's not your birthday anymore.

Sams life

please

she felt an overwhelming sensation form in her chest and she wasn't sure why it was happening. she'd never felt this way, not even for her ex and yet here she was, wanting to cry because the woman she had a stupid crush on wouldn't drive to where she was. she felt like crying which at this point she was sure it had to do with the alcohol in her body. regardless her breathing began to grow heavier as she waited for a response, her message had been seen but she wasn't getting a response. she was about to give up and just turn her phone off when finally a message came though.

Vivian Leigh

okay

her eyes widened at the message and for a second she thought it was all in her imagination. she had exited out of the app and went back in just to make sure it was real. it was. she bit her lip to hide back a smile, not wanting her friends to ask why she looked so happy as she typed up a response. she wanted to ask if she was serious but she also didn't want to annoy Georgia to the point in which she changed her mind so she quickly texted back.

Sams life

📍Samanthas location

her message was left on read and the green dot signaling she was online had disappeared. with that Samantha abruptly jumped up from the couch making Nia whine as her she held her cheek where she had just been hit.

"what the hell" she groaned and both Matthew and Jade looked at Samantha confused.

"gotta go to the bathroom" she said and grabbed her vape from Jade who pouted.

"awe," she said but Samantha ignored her.

"gonna go to the bathroom" she repeated drunkenly and stepped over Matthew who simply stared at her. she didn't get a response from any of them but she didn't wait for one either as she rushed up the stairs. the main floor was pretty much empty except for three teenagers who were in the kitchen who looked like they were about to leave. she ignored them and went outside which was empty. there were five cars still parked outside but two of them belonged to Nia and Oliver and she was sure the other three belonged to to at least one of the three friends downstairs - not including Nia Matthew or Jade and the teens in the kitchen.

the raven haired girl stood walked to Nia car and leaned against it as she brought the electronic cigarette up to her lips and inhaled deeply. there was a light breeze and it made her legs cold but she fought against it as she looked back and forth waiting for the bmw to pull into the neighborhood. she wasn't feeling as nervous as sober her would be and the nicotine was helping with her not freaking out as well. her hands were sweating a little and every once in a while she'd run a hand through her hair lazily. her stomach was filled with anticipation, the kind of feeling she'd get when she was waiting in line for a scary rollercoaster or the feeling she got before her first day of middle school.

in the next ten minutes the teens that were once in the kitchen had left, waving goodbye to the teen and wishing her one last happy birthday. until finally the familiar blue car pulled up next to the girl, a smile tugging at her lips as the window rolled down.

"get in" the blonde said simply and the raven haired girl didn't need to be told twice. she opened the car door and got inside in a hurry, she was aware of how no one else could see them together even through her drunken daze so before getting in she looked around her to make sure that no one was witnessing what was going on.

as soon as the door closed behind her Georgia put the car in drive and began to press on the gas. Samantha didn't question where they were going, only leaned her head back against the seat and looked at the road in front of her. they drove for five minutes until they pulled into a parking lot that belonged to the neighborhood park.

once Georgia had put the car in park she turned toward the younger girl with a raised brow. Samantha smiled lazily at her, she had her head turned and her cheek pressed against the leather seat. "i like your car" she said running her hand over the smooth interior.

Georgia let out a sigh, "why am i here Samantha" she said grabbing the younger girls attention. her movements came to a stop and she looked back at the blonde with a slight frown.

"i wanted to see you"

Georgia shook her head, "you're drunk"

her words went completely over the girls head as she took in the woman in front of her for the first time. the blondes hair was slightly wavy like always, she was wearing a long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. it looked like she had thrown the clothes on last minute.

"im not drunk" Samantha finally denied with a shake of her head.

"no?" Georgia raised an eyebrow "then why does my car now reek like tequila" she shot back making the raven haired girl giggle softly.

"you're no fun" she said with a fake frown and the action earned an eye roll from the blonde. Samantha rested her hands on her thighs, her dress had hiked up a bit causing her to pull it down which made her realize she had the nicotine stick in her lap so she brought it up to her lips and inhaled deeply.

Georgia sighed and watched as the smoke blew out of the girls nose and mouth filling the car with the smell of watermelon.

"you shouldn't do that" she said.

"do what?" Samantha questioned confused.

"smoke"

"why not? it helps me relax" she said and took another puff out of it. Georgia sighed heavily.

"your eighteen, Samantha. you shouldn't be smoking this young"

Samantha waved her off lazily, "it's okay. the worlds ending anyway" she shrugged as if it weren't a big deal. Georgia hated how a smile tugged at her lips. she'd seen the girl high before but that was nothing like drunk Samantha. when she was high she was calm and collected but drunk her seemed to be clingy, talkative as well but also extremely stubborn. she hated the fact that she found it amusing.

the blonde had her hands resting in her lap and her body was slightly turned to face the raven haired girl. "do you want me to take you home?" she asked.

Samantha shook her head, "nope"

"then why am i here?"

"because i missed you" Samantha shrugged simply.

"Samantha" Georgia sighed out, her hand pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"what's wrong?" the younger girl frowned and reached over to grab the blondes hand. Georgia flinched, not expecting to be touched but almost immediately after relaxed.

"i can't just come see you because you miss me. besides, you shouldn't miss me. we both know this is wrong" she said a lot more serious now. Samantha didn't seem to be paying much attention as her eyes were trained on their locked hands.

"we're not doing anything wrong"

Georgias eyes closed and she let out a deep sigh, "that doesn't matter. it would be weird if Ginny and Ellen talked in secret or even smoked weed together, wouldn't it?" she questioned now fully grabbing Samanthas attention.

her eyebrows knit together, "that's different"

"how is that different, Samantha?" she sighed tiredly.

"my mom is like - fifty and Ginny is only fifteen. i'm legal now and your only thirty" she explained stubbornly.

Georgia let out a tired chuckle, "seriously Samantha. "this isn't a j-"

but before she could finish Samantha pulled her hand away from hers and leaned over the console so she's closer to the blonde. there was still a decent amount of space between them but she was closed enough to hear the way Georgia's breath hitched in her throat. "i know what you present to me can be" she whispered lowly. her breath was precious tequila and a slight watermelon smell, both from her vape and the candies she had been snacking on throughout the night.

"what's that?" Georgia whispered her eyes glancing between Samantha's lips and her eyes. the girl inched closer.

the raven haired girls lips were slightly parted and her tongue ran over her bottom lip to try and keep the blondes eyes where they were. her body was started to burn and all she wanted to do was to kiss her. she didn't care about morals or about what everyone would think, she just wanted her. she knew Georgia felt the same way, she had to otherwise she wouldn't have smoked with her, wouldn't have went out of her way to find her instagram and DM her, wouldn't have driven there just because she had said she missed her. wouldn't be letting Samantha invade her personal space the way she was in that moment.

"a kiss" the raven haired girl whispered and pressed her lips against the blondes before Georgia had a chance to react. Samantha cupped the woman's face as she softly pressed their lips together, her bottom lip trapped in between Georgias lips where she froze. she didn't want to move, wanted Georgia to take control of the kiss so she knew she hadn't fucked up by listening to her heart and not the rational side of her.

but that never happened and Samantha felt her heart deflate. she quickly pulled away, a lot sober than she had been just a second ago as she looked at Georgia with regretful eyes. "im so sorry, i shouldn't have done that" she rushed out nervously. her heart was beating so fast and he could hear it pulse in her ears, her breathing was now irregular and she felt as if she was being suffocated in the car.

she expected Georgia to lecture and tell her that what she did was wrong or even just a disappointed head shake like she would get from Ellen when she'd do something wrong - even if it was extremely rare but she got neither. instead she felt a hand grab the back of her head and a pair of soft lips crashing down on her own.

she lot out an inaudible squeak and her eyes widened in complete and utter surprise. was she dreaming? was this really happening? did she pass out on the couch and none of this had eveb happened? her thoughts faded out as she felt Georgia kissing her with a little more force so she'd kiss her back which she did happily.

Georgias right hand was still on the back of the younger girls head whilst the other was resting on the console between them. Samantha blindly grabbed it and placed it on her exposed thigh, her body was abnormally warm and Georgia could feel that heat radiate from Samantha's leg. the raven girl had one hand on the blondes jaw and the other resting on top of Georgias that she had put on her thigh.

the kiss went from slow to needy in a matter of seconds, heavy breathing echoed throughout the car along with the sound of their lips smacking against each other hastily. Samantha whimpered into the blondes mouth and she began to lead her hand further up her thigh but before she could reach her dress Georgia had pulled away completely.

Samantha looked at the blonde with parted and swollen lips, her eyes slightly lidded and her chest heaving up and down. even though the kiss hadn't lasted long, it was filled with so much passion she could barely breathe.

they were so fucked.

[foreos]

hatchetfield characters rated on how much they like sonic the hedgehog

- paul matthews: 7/10 i think just based on his age and personality he played like sonic adventure one as a kid and enjoyed it but hasn’t really thought about it since. if he were to play a sonic game again he’d be like “oh i remember this guy! silly :)” he does not like the chaotix.

- emma perkins: 5/10 i can see a young emma being Violently Opposed to sonic and never playing it or engaging with any content. and then at some point ziggs or even paul has her play one of the games with them and she’s like “Oh Wait This Is Fun” but idk if she’d ever consider herself a fan.

- bill woodward: 1/10 he cannot remember sonic’s name. he is completely ambivalent because he doesn’t know what that is. he’d have an appreciation for tails if he knew he existed

- charlotte sweetly: 0/10 he creeps her out. i think there’s so much going on in her life that there is no room for sonic the hedgehog.

- ted spankoffski: 10/10 he also played the games as a kid and still enjoys him though he does not advertise that at all. in college he and jenny did smoke and play the entirety of sonic 06 together. he probably hasn’t really played them since at all since it contrasts with the new everything. he watched sonic underground.

- henry hidgens 0/10 he doesn’t trust sonic.

- melissa: 11/10 she loves sonic and you can interpret that however you want

- john mcnamara: 0/10 i cannot imagine this man with a game controller in his hands.

- tom houston: -10000/10 he is a technophobe and sonic frustrates him. he finds the characters annoying and tim keeps having to beat the levels for him and he doesn’t know why sonic is looking at him like that at the end of every level.

- becky barnes: 8/10 she just thinks he’s the silliest guy. i think becky would like sonic and the black knight and get a kick out of the gimmicky motion controls. i like to picture becky having stupid fun it brings me joy.

- lex foster: 0/10 no time for that also that’s kind of dumb also also where are his clothes.

- ethan green: current 1/10, potential 10/10, ethan has never touched a sonic game in his life but i think if he did he’d be hooked.

- hannah foster: 5/10 she has never touched a sonic game and isn’t really a video game person but she has nothing against the guy.

- frank pricely: 9/10 i think frank watched SatAM as a kid and the franchise is special to him even if he doesn’t really engage. probably drew pictures of sonic and tails as a kid.

- linda monroe: 1/10 it’s beneath her. linda probably doesn’t like video game and i think she’d find everyone really fucking annoying. river likes sonic though :)

- sherman young: 1000/10 but he’s not fun about it. if you like something he doesn’t then you’re fucking stupid. why does sonic have a sword. why is sonic in a car. i don’t know sherman. he refuses to play a lot of the games and is very much a purist about a lot of shit. he hates silver the hedgehog sooooo much.

- zoey chambers: 0/10 would shame sonic likers.

- miss holloway: 5/10 sonic is too nineties for her eighties but some of the kids she’s worked with liked it and she has nothing against the guy.

- duke keane: 8/10 i think like becky he would enjoy stupid fun.

- ziggs: 10/10 i think ziggs is a sonic fan. and i’m not saying that just because they’re a furry i think they’d genuinely like it. they are not good at most of the games though, they usually can’t make it past the typical sonic late game difficulty boost. ziggs hasn’t read the comics but they might have watched some of the cartoons, you know?

- rose: 6/10 i think she would have a lot of fun if she played the games but it’s never gonna be something she gets super into. sonic games do tend to have fantastic soundtracks so maybe she’d eat that shit up.

- daniel (stopwatch): 100/10 he really likes sonic. sonic is his kind of guy. i think daniel is a big shadow fan.

- sophia (spitfire): 5/10 she has nothing against the guy but she doesn’t know who blaze is or why daniel keeps bringing it up.

- pete spankoffski: 12/10 he inherited ted’s old games and LOVED them. he doesn’t really engage with the non game media but i think he’s played like most of the games.

- stephanie lauter: 2/10 what’s this nerd shit? weird :/. i think she’d like it if she tried it.

- richie lipschitz: 10000/10 he loves sonic. he loveeeeeees sonic. he has read the comics he has seen the shows he can name all the characters. richie knows the lore. richie used to have a crush on sally acorn. richie can go on the worlds longest rant about sonic forces okay it just never ends. he thinks shadow is The Coolest Guy and he embraces the franchise wholeheartedly.

- ruth fleming: 1000/10 she likes sonic a lot. she knows so much about all the games and she loves going so so so fast. i think she also read the comics and watched the cartoons and i think her and richie argue about it like all the time. she does have a thing for rouge the bat AND shadow and i think she has a little plushie chao keychain on her backpack.

- grace chasity: -10000000000000/10 she HATES sonic she hates him so much. he fills her with so much rage she fucking hates his ass. number one sonic hater.

BONUS:

- wiggly: 0/10 this game is hard to play with tentacles

- blinky: 5/10 he doesn’t really care but watching the hedgehog go zoom is fun

- tinky: 10/10 he loves this shit he wants sonic to go FASTER

- nibbly: 0/10 he doesn’t care he eated his controller

- pokey: -10/10 he thinks sonic is an attention whore and only he gets to do that

- webby: 100000/10 webby would like sonic do you see the vision do you see it. i think webby eats that shit up.

[bunnyyamor]

{nah, you’re mine, baby.} - draken (ken ryuguji)

“how do you think i look?” you asked as you closed the car mirror after fixing up your gloss. you wore a tight, short pink dress, a sparkly pair of heels and some hoop earrings. you had tied your look together with a sweet, dainty scent of perfume. to your eyes it’s another day you looked good to ken’s eyes you were the woman that takes his breath away. every damn time, no hesitation, just blows him away.

ken was wanting to take his motorcycle to the fancy restaurant you both were dining at that evening, but you snapped your fingers and stomped your feet with no exceptions. you were not having your hair messed up in a wind nest and your makeup dried up by tears, “trust me, it’s not pretty.” you would joke. so ken had to settle for a car.

“well,” you raised your makeuped eyebrow. god the more he looked at your face the more he wanted to park there car any where near and just fuck you right there and then. your pretty eyelashes all crooked and hanging by a piece of glue. “how do i look?” draken had his hand on the stick and on the steering wheel, “you know what i’m gonna say.” he bit his lips. you gave him a deadpan look, “that’s it?” draken looked in his rear view mirror, acting like nothing. he was trying to hold in his laughter because he knew you were going to be pissed. “fine, you look good baby.” you crossed your legs and snarled your lips, “good? baby i am the best looking woman you ever been with.” ken chuckled, “how do you know what my other girls looked like, hmm? you stalked me?” you looked away, putting cream that smelled of vanilla on your skin. as you looked away ken really got a look at you. god were you gorgeous. he actually couldn’t believe you actually wanted to date him. everything about you made him just want to beg to be near you. he loved teasing you, however. as you applied cream to your legs, draken bit his lips to contain his grunts of appreciation because your legs were becoming shinny and your dress was rising higher and higher. he licked his lips and uttered, “god damn, fuck.”

you closed your cream bottle and put gum in your mouth, chewing on it with attitude. draken knew what was coming. “you mean all your hoes ken?” you yelled. “what? oh come on not this shit again?” ken rolled his eyes, playfully smacking the steering wheel. “yep all them bitches! let me see, what was her name again? oh yeah it was emma!” draken eyed you up and down, “did you get amnesia or some shit? you like emma.” you heaved a huge sigh as you crossed your arms over your chest, “she is the only girl i will allow then to have a piece of your past. but it sucks for you doesn’t it?” you whipped your head back and got close to ken’s face. he dipped down a bit to meet your level since he was way taller even sitting down. he smirked, “what sucks?” he quickly got a quick glance at your lips. he wanted to kiss those lips with every fiber of his body. “that i ain’t leaving.” you pointed your thumb to your chest with a low voice. “you are stuck with me oh fearsome dragon because i am the crazy one. the one that you leave me imma grab your ass and keep you in my dungeon forever.” you threatened menacingly. “oooh,” ken got closer, biting his lip, “where do i sign up?” you punched his arm playfully and put your white shades on. “imma put these on to forget you even said that.” draken laughed as he punched the ceiling of the car, “baby when i said yes to you i knew what i was getting into. what you don’t realize is i’m half your crazy,” draken laughed loudly. “okay okay you right,” you snarled your nose in annoyance. why was he such a pain in your ass?

well two could play it that way. “you know, i know who would want to play with this ass here? i know who would tell me i’m sexy, gorgeous all of the above? who would treat me so fine…mikey.” you gave an evil grin seeing kens exterior change so suddenly. he started grunting and his eyes turned into slits because he never likes it when any of the guys from toman flirt with you or look at you sexually. you were his all his! “hmm? no cocky attitude no more, huh?” you smiled in triumph but then draken put his huge hands on your thighs. “these thighs right here, belong to me. this pussy,” his hands went swiftly under your dress to your panties, “belongs to me.” then he put his hands on your breasts, “these tits belong to me. these lips,” his thumb gently traced your bottom lip, smudging a bit of your gloss, “belong to me. and this ass?” even with you sitting down he managed to push you on your side so your ass was facing him. “this beautiful ass,” draken gave it a smack as he squeezed your dress covered flesh, “is mine.”

you smacked your lips as you situated yourself to sit normally, “damn you didn’t need to take it that far. we are going to a dinner after all for our anniversary. besides i am not property i don’t belong to no one.”

ken stopped at a light and quickly unbuckled his seatbelt. his body towered over yours and he grabbed your face as his lips melted in with yours. the kiss was rough and needy. draken opened his mouth to let you explore while his tongue explored your mouth quickly. your lip gloss was becoming a mess but who cared plus ken was getting to wear some. you leant on his thick, strong shoulders while his hand then traveled to the back of your head deepening the kiss. he groaned as he bit your lip, dragging the skin a bit, hearing your squeak a moan, he then pecked your lip again and then sat down quickly to drive again. but then he grabbed your hand in his, your little one engulfed in his huge hands as he quickly kissed yours, “nah, you’re mine baby.”

ok maybe i’m toxic but how the reader is that’s how i am so 🤷🏻‍♀️ i am what i am! i hope u like my first draken anything cuz he fine and like idk he hits differently. and he has enough face for me to sit on so 😜

🏷:

@sailewhoremoon @tonaken

[chidoroki]

Tokyo Revengers S3EP5

aka: EMMAAAAAAAA

As much as I move to see Emma, starting the episode with some more flashbacks of her isn’t a good sign..

Young Emma making fun of Shinichiro’s haircut right away.. I love her.

Aww young Baji! He’s adorable!

No wonder Mikey is so good with kicks, he learned at his grandpa’s dojo. I assume that’s how his friendship with Baji started too.

OH! The “Mikey” nickname came from him and Baji trying to come up with foreigner names like Emma’s! Granted they were lowkey making fun of her but it’s adorable how he still uses the name even today to make her feel better.

Emma needs several hugs.. and a saving grace if this is gonna be the episode where that happens.

She is so darn pretty oh my god.

Damn, not even getting the OP this time around huh?

Pfft, it’s so cute seeing Mikey get protective over Takemichi. Ain’t no way he’ll let that boy leave Toman.

Gotta admit, Inui looking good though in the Toman uniform though.

“I will never condone murder.” Okay, first off, glad Kakucho has some common sense. Secondly, oh god, oh fuck, it might be happening now and I’m not ready. Thirdly, it’s Izana who orders it? Oohhhh no no no!

Damn it! I questioned that quick shot of the ambulance driving past Chifuyu and Takemichi, but I didn’t even think it would be Mitsuya and Smiley in it! Angry has to be so pissed off right about now.

Shit, Hakkai’s got a point. Toman basically has no division captains around for this fight.

I love that it’s Peh who’s showing a real distaste for using weapons in the upcoming fight given how Pah was arrested for it.

I was gonna comment how slim the chances are that Takemichi and Inui would encounter Inaza at Shinichiro’s grave on the day of Black Dragon’s founding, but it makes perfect sense.

Ah fuck, is this the first time since years ago that Emma sees Izana too?

Seeing Kisaki with a bat riding on Hanma’s bike is sending me many red flags.. please don’t tell me that’s how this death will go..

“He’s a weak little boy. Just like you and me. So if he ever snaps under the strain.. when that happens, I swear I’ll be there to save him.” NO! BAD TRAGIC FORESHADOWING!

“I think the one who understands and supports Mikey the most might just be Emma. Mikey turns evil in the future. Even though he had Emma.” AAAAAHH.

“Did Emma.. exist in the future.” Fuck fuck FUCK.

I swear to fucking hell Kisaki, don’t you fucking dare harm this totally precious girl!

OH YOU ABSOLUTE SON OF A BITCH! HOLY SHIT! I don’t care if I knew the death was coming, I didn’t think it would happen LIKE THAT!!

I’m so goddamn speechless and five seconds away from tears.

Bro Mikey is right fucking there to see the aftermath of the attack too.. holy hell. This is like the true bloody Halloween for me man, fuck.

Mikey, I’m grateful you’re taking Emma to the hospital but fucking run dude! Don’t walk!

“Tell Draken this for me. ‘Ken, I love you.’” Ah yup, that’s a critical hit on my heart. I know her confession was teased during one of the trailers but damn, I'm so freakin' upset right now.

“Emma? Emma? I promised Draken I’d keep this a secret. But Draken loves you, you know. It’s mutual.” I’m gonna go cry now.

Bro, this future Mikey dreamed of all of them together.. I’m absolutely sobbing.

Oh yeah, sure, just cut right to the ending while I pick up the many pieces of my shattered heart.. not that it’ll do any good since the visuals have nothing but EMMA! AAHH! Sweetheart you deserved so much better!!!

Fucking hell man, we have to see Draken learn the news next episode.. I won’t emotionally recover from this in time just to cry my heart out again.

[ocalaghan]

I finished watching Mako Mermaids (the spin-off of H2O: Just Add Water).

Some thoughts...

Obviously, it definitely was not a patch on the original. The trio of girls just weren't as captivating as the previous trio (plus Bella), and Zac was honestly kind of dull to start with. But I really wanted to get to the end and see what it was all about, plus I knew Cariba Heine guest-starred in it and I really wanted to see her in the later seasons.

The colossal plot-hole right from the beginning was hard for me to look past lol.

Sirena, Lyla, and Nixie were from a pod of mermaids that lived around Mako Island called the Mako Pod, right? Right. It's also evident from Rikki's return to the area that this show takes place around ten years after the original show ended. It's also evident that when the girls tell Rita, their teacher who is a mermaid but has chosen to live on land as a human, that they are from the Mako Pod, Rita recognises this name and knows of the pod.

So that would suggest the pod has lived there quite a long time. So where were they all when Emma, Cleo, and Rikki turned into mermaids? Those three and all their pals were constantly around Mako and the Moon Pool, but there were no mermaids guarding the area. They never once bumped into another mermaid swimming around that part of the water somehow. So where did the Mako Pod even come from? Why were they never around in the few years that Emma, Cleo, Rikki, and co were mermaids? In fact, when Rikki does appear, she's made a living out of being a deep sea explorer and is surprised when the gang come to her and reveal to her they were mermaids from birth - how has she been scouring the oceans as a JOB and has never bumped into another mermaid?

I found that all pretty frustrating because it just makes no sense - the Mako Pod just popped up one day and it confuses the lore of the original series. They could've easily said the pod had recently moved to the area a year or two ago because of the call of the Moon Pool or some shit. I don't know.

Also, their powers... what is going on there? Zac is obviously wildly powerful as a merman (why are mermen better?) but he can do random shit like unlock doors and go invisible (and the girls can go invisible too but like... why) and just generally do magic things that have nothing to do with water. Weilan even sets off a car alarm with her powers. Zac can twirl coins? That was never shown in the original (other than the girls being able to lift people but it took all of them to do it and it was a full moon... and I guess humans are mostly made of water so that's not actually that weird).

I also don't understand the mermaid fear of mermen. They are hated because mermaids are terrified of them and their power, but all the mermaid pods are friggin' huge. So there must be a whole bunch of them making mermaid babies somehow and surely they need mermen to do that?! That never got touched on but I'm dying to know.

I hated Zac for a lot of season one (and Cam) and I know that was kind of the point - he was being a dick, but God, it was annoying. Then it gets all resolved, which is great, and I liked Zac waaaay more after that (and he started growing his hair out and it was hella cute) and I was really warming to the girls by this point. I loved seeing their relationship develop with Rita, and I really liked Lyla especially. I kind of wanted her and Zac to get together. It sort of seemed like it might be heading that way? And then season two starts and they drop the bombshell that Lyla and Nixie have left!!! Why!!! They get replaced by Mimmi and Ondina who were even less interesting to me. That was such a bummer. I started to enjoy Mimmi more but I never really liked Ondina. And then Sirena vanishes on a months-long vacation with her sister for the entire final season and is never seen again, only to be replaced by Weilan, who I also didn't love.

I was excited about there being a character called Evie as well because I hardly ever find people in shows with my name, but she was honestly kind of boring and annoying and not a great actress. I do sympathise with her, like... her boyfriend acts like a total weirdo for months and it low-key looks like he's cheating on her and then it turns out he's a mythical creature. That's a lot to deal with at like 16. But she wasn't an amazing character, I didn't love her. She got better as the series went on though. I did know she turned into a mermaid because I saw a GIFset of it long before I started the show so that wasn't a surprise either.

There was just a lot that didn't make sense and I just didn't love it, or even like it at times.

I guess they tied things up well at the end though, even though none of the original three mermaids that started out in the first episode were even there any more. Mimmi and Zac got their birth mother back, Zac's going to reveal his secret to his parents, and he's happy with Evie... Mimmi told her boyfriend about her secret. Weilan's going to rebuild her pod with Ondina's help.

Rita, who I ADORED, quit being a teacher on land to help young mermaids instead and return to her roots at sea. I was a bit confused by that plot because it seems like she's going to lead a dual life on land and sea, now that the Mermaid Council are open to such an idea, but I don't get why that meant she had to quit her day job lmao. She was obviously keeping her house and everything as she still had it in the final episode, and she adores her cat Poseidon so she wouldn't leave him. Whatever, I love Rita, I love her friendship with the gang, and I love that she gets to be part of the pod again while also enjoying the life she's built for herself on land.

And they wrapped up things with Rikki so nicely!!! I thought it was a weird choice for the writers to have her not believe the gang when they told her they needed her help to fight a water dragon... like... Rikki and co literally fought a monster made of water in that same area probably not even 10 years ago, so why would she find that hard to believe? Bizarre. My heart broke when she revealed she's not friends with Cleo, Emma (and Bella?) any more. But then at the end she said she would come back to spend time with the gang and the Mako Pod and meet other real mermaids, and that she would bring her friends. <333 YES baby reignite your friendships. <333 There was no mention of Zane though I get the impression they are not together any more which also hurt my feelings but in my head, if she's spending more time in that town again, maybe she bumps into him there at some point and they get back together. It's canon now ok.

Anyway. That was rough to get through. H2O will forever be iconic, this was not a great sequel though.

[pulausemakau]

i know it’s been a year but does anyone still randomly get mad about random little aspects of s2 that aisling fucked with for no conceivable reason 

like i’ve ranted multiple times about the irony of aisling claiming that the show at its core will always be “about two sisters” when she literally decided to skip past the conversation aine and shona presumably had in 2x06 that led to them lying on the floor in vish’s living room... i once compared it to basically if she hadn’t shown us aine and shona’s fight in 1x06, only their heart to heart in the bathroom at the women in wealth event afterwards 

and like?? asking us to believe aine “i’ll fucking kill her” o’keefe, who screamed at shona right before her big event because shona rejected vish’s proposal and betrayed her confidence to charlotte, wouldn’t lose her mind over shona’s confession that she was fucking the woman who told her ex-boyfriend about her mental health issues? 

and like i’m so 100% behind canon braine if s3 ever comes out now, but now it’s been a year i’m just heartbroken that she made the choices she did about richard’s character

like... in s1, richard isn’t freddie’s foil. he’s shona’s. 

shona loves aine unconditionally, codependently, suffocatingly. she willingly takes on that responsibility to hover endlessly over her baby sister. someone she perceives to be weaker, more helpless, who needs her. richard is a very lonely person, who is entirely on his own, who is not naturally nurturing, who has a child foisted upon him in a situation he did not expect nor for which he was prepared. shona loves so much she gets it wrong. richard has no idea what he’s doing. his idea of care is getting etienne an english tutor, giving him books with themes of death and crime, and asking him to dinner like he’s hosting a black tie event

and it translates over to aine? richard is the only character in s1 with any meaningful screen time to hold aine truly accountable for her actions, for her self. richard has no patience for her fuckups and for her crossing any lines. richard respects her as an equal but doesn’t coddle her. 

like, the whole of s1, that’s what aine’s struggling to get. shona doesn’t respect her agency or her time. vish doesn’t respect her presence, her intelligence, or her importance in shona’s life. eileen doesn’t respect her feelings. tom and freddie don’t respect her boundaries (freddie is cheating on his girlfriend with her, he doesn’t respect anything about aine). to an extent, even brad (and emma) don’t respect her space. richard gives aine all of that, in his quiet subtle way, while also asking aine to give him that basic respect he deserves as well. he doesn’t ask her to change for him, and neither does he change himself just for her.

and above all, my fucking god, the thing about richard in s1 is that HE LISTENS!! not just to aine but to etienne! and that is the whole point!! why do aine and freddie have such shit sex? why do shona and aine end up having that explosive fight in 1x06? why is aine so frustrated with eileen and conversely why doesn’t eileen understand her youngest daughter? the entirety of s1 revolves around communication, the lack of it, and how that lack poisons every relationship we see in the series. love is nothing without communication. love is nothing if you can’t hear what the other person is saying. charlotte, at least, listens to shona. but NOBODY listens to aine. until richard. 

and i just still can’t believe that, in s2, with one single awful out of character line -

“i can’t stop her talking”

- aisling would throw all of that away.

and for WHAT?! 

[thejollyswan]

Hi! I am a HUGE Captain Swan fan! What are the main reasons why you love Captain Swan/Hook?

HI!!!!! SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER. University sucks

I AM A HUGE CS FAN AS WELL SO THIS ASK IS THE BEST THING EVER

Okay there are maaaany reasons that i cant all put here but i guess i will put what comes to mind rn

1- They just understand each other on another level. If you pay attention they almost never judge the other's actions (and boi there is a lot to judge if we are honest jsbdksjs) and they just GET IT you know?? They didn't have exactly the same lives but they went through their own shit in life and its like even before they got together they had an unspoken understanding of each other that they didnt experience with anybody else. As much as Emma's family loves her, there ARE things that they just can't really get. And in Killian's case nobody sees the true him as much as Emma does, no matter what horrible things he did in his past.

2- They are not a constantly on and off relationship. TECHNICALLY once they got together they never broke up. That one time in s6 is debatable. Yes she gave him the ring back BUT SHE DIDNT SAY IT WAS OVER and then Killian was taken away. AND LIKE EVEN WITH ALL THE DARK ONE STUFF THEY NEVER ACTUALLY BROKE UP??? So yeah they really stayed together throughout double darkness, like 3 deaths and a shit ton of villains. Even if they had fights or problems they didnt end the relationship on a whim, they worked through their problems and came out stronger AND I LOVE THEM FOR THAT. Also i hate on and off couples ejbfjdbdj its so annoying.

3- THE PATIENCE FAM. THEY WERE SO PATIENT WITH EACH OTHER. AND SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT IT WAS ONLY KILLIAN BECAUSE HE WAITED FOR HER, NO! Emma was also patient in many aspects, especially as they became more serious and Killian had many demons to fight both from his past and his present, and she really didnt pressure him into laying out all his troubled past on the table. She allowid him to take his time and tell her things on his own time (like the Ursula thing).

4- THE TRUUUUUUUUUST. There was so much trust in their relationship it kills me. AND YES THEY HAD THEIR TRUST ISSUES WITH THE WHOLE DARK ONES THING BUT COME ON. Honestly i dont think its fair to judge Dark Captain Swan as normal Captain Swan bc it REALLY isnt the same. Outside that time, they really had the deepest trust in each other. AND WE KNOW ITS NOT EASY FOR THEM TO TRUST, especially Emma. But my girl REFUSED to let people talk shit about Killian because she TRUSTED him so much and knew that he wouldnt betray or hurt them even before they got together. (Also that episode where killian is taken in s6 and Emma IMMEDIATELY GIVES UP ON HIM AND THINKS HE ABANDONED HER is absolute bullshit. At that point in their relationship she wouldnt act like that fuck the writers for that one)

5- They are hot together. Period. No need to elaborate.

6- THE TENDERNESS UGHHHHHH THEY WERE ACTUALLY SO SWEET ??? HE IS A DEADLY PIRATE AND FORMER VILLAIN AND SHE IS A HIDE MY EMOTIONS KINDA TOUGH GIRL but they were surprisingly very sweet and tender with each other which was very refreshing to see. Outside Dark CS they werent toxic or like constantly arguing and yelling and being rough with each other and i love them for being so sweet.

7- When they did fuck up it was out of love for the other. I think 99% of times they fucked up was because they were trying to protect the other and if thats not true love idk what is.

8- They never gave up on each other. Never. (Emma in that one episode doesnt count that was EXTREMELY out of character). They were SO willing to fight for each other as a couple and as individuals (before and after getting together).

Okay these are some of the maaaaany reasons.

I see that you also asked me about Hook and bc i dont wanna pay attention in class then i will also tell you what i love about him.

1- Colin. Yes. He is a big part of what makes Killian Jones and why i love him and if it was another actor it could have changed everything.

2- Has THE BEST redemption arc in the show by far. Argue with the wall, thats how i feel. He never justified his actions or try to pin them on "his past self". Yes he is a changed man but the SAME man who did those things and he always carries that guilt with him (sometimes too much). But most importantly, he always works SO hard to make up for those mistakes by both apologising and through actions, actively trying to make amends.

3- The man is fearless. He doesn't give a shit. He will fight anyone to get what he want even when he is clearly at a disadvantage. Respect man haahjsjajsjsnd

4- When he loves... oof he loves so deeply. I dont even have to explain. We see it. He fell HARD man.

5- He is not afraid to show his emotions. Most of the time he wears his heart out on his sleeve, especially when it comes to Emma, even if he gets rejected. That is honestly admirable, wish i could do that lol, it takes bravery.

6- Do i hate him for dying all the time? Yes. Do i also freaking love him for sacrifising himself for the people he loves? Damn right.

7- HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH BELLE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

8- HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HENRY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

9- He is cute and dumb sometimes and i love that for him.

10- He is freaking hot. Period.

11- Pirates are hot. Period.

I think that is a good way to end my reasons JSBDKSBDJS

Conclusion: i love Captain Swan, Emma and Killian with my whole heart 😌✨️

Thanks so much for the ask anon!! Feel free to talk to me anytime 😁

[lovesomehate]

MovieStar-Laura & Bodyguard Travis pt2

✨They're officially a month or so into this relationship. Laura has sort of warmed up to Travis, but she wants him to relax and talk normally to her more. He's still calling her Mrs. KearneyTravis is still very formal and straightforward with his job. Though they still have moments where he will sit down and have an actual meal with her. Including not only take out, but one of them cooking.

"I'm surprised that you actually know how to cook," Travis said waiting at the countertop while Laura is putting food on the plate.

It was the first time she had cooked since Travis moved in. Just before her new roommate she had been mostly trying to clear out leftovers.

"You're just easy to surprise." She turns and sets down a plate of spaghetti and a beer. She was excited to see that he would drink more than coffee and water.

******

✨She needles him into an agreement of 21 10 questions at least every other day or else Travis' patience tanks significantly.

"I thought bodyguards were supposed to have better people skills?" She starts the game at random once more.

"I thought young movie stars are supposed to be pleasant most of the time?" He shoots back looking at her in the rear view mirror.

"I'm very pleasant thank you very much." She gives a small and wink, and Travis actually finds it cute. "Did you do anything before being a bodyguard?"

"I was a cop for a while, but a few things happened back at home so I had to quit and move. Trying to transfer to a new department just sort of rubbed me the wrong way. A friend I had joked about me being a bodyguard at some point, but honestly, it sounded solid enough." He finished and Laura was caught off guard. That's the most she ever got out of him during a single question. "And you? Did you always want to be an actress?"

"No," She looks a little upset. "I actually wanted to be a vet for a while." She caught Travis' clear confusion in the mirror. "I was having some money trouble and I had this friend named Emma, who was actually in acting school. She told me about some commercials, people, where filming. She pulled some strings and asked some favors to get me into a few. Some industry people liked the way I looked and acted so I got pulled into more commercials, then into little background roles in shows, bigger roles in the shows, a lead role, and then into movies. I sort of got swept up and away from my goal."

"Oh, so that explains the donations to all the animal organizations." Laura smiled and nodded her head in response. "I'm surprised you don't have a pet."

"I did, but they passed away almost half a year ago. I'm still not really over it."

"Sorry." Travis said softly feeling bad for bringing the mood down. "So..." He struggled for a question, he'd normally just mirror the question she asked. "When's your birthday?"

"January 10, long past. Yours?"

"July 7th."

"July...Shit Travis that's passed already."

He merely shrugs.

Laura peers out the window at where they are and the various stores.

"Travis pull over there." She pulls herself between the front and back row to point, though Travis pushes her back some.

"Why? What happened to getting to the premiere as soon as possible?"

"It can wait for a little just pull over."

Thankfully the parking lot for the building is huge enough for him to not need to pull a u-turn. The building, a shopping center was even bigger. He helps her out of the car.

"What are we doing here?" He asks as they enter the doors.

"What do you like?" Using her question as an answer.

"What?"

"What do you like?" Laura repeated slowly."

It took a moment for Travis to understand.

"You're not getting me a gift."

"Yes, I am."

"The days come and gone."

"Only by like for days. I thought that stick was at least partially out of your ass. Let me buy you a gift."

It's more back and forth, passing by the storefronts, and stopping for a snack before finally a gift was decided. A simple bottle of cologne and Laura got him a birthday card.

******

✨The premiere goes well. Travis hasn't protected someone this publicly high profile, its his first time so the constant flushing cameras and voices and people meshing close to the guard ropes makes him on edge. He has to stand by the wall in the auditorium away from Laura. She looks over and waves once or twice to him.

******

✨Travis starts to know Laura's friends more as he takes her to several get-togethers, to their houses or they come to their house. They joke about having to be checked every time he sees them and others that they are with.

One of them once again makes a comment on his looks saying he looks and behaves all creepy. Laura is a bit miffed by that.

"He's just doing his job. And he doesn't even look creepy. Just a bit unconventionally attractive. You can at least give him that he's kind of cute."

No one expected Travis, especially so as he looks at Laura like she's joking, but she gives him a small, but genuine smile.

******

✨Almost towards the end of the year is when two developments happen. First is the fact that Laura starts receiving letters and signs of someone threatening her. She doesn't want to let on that it scares her as much as she does.

When she goes out to a club with her friends she ends up getting plastered and tried leaving to go somewhere despite Travis trying to get her home.

✨The second development is a result of the former. When trying to get away and arguing the whole time, Laura falls and hurts her ankle. Travis gets on the ground to examine her. Despite being so intoxicated she's able to fully take note of how large his hands are and that they're callused, but also how gently he's handling her and that this is the first time he's directly touched her skin.

Her ankle isn't too bad. He picks her up and she's surprised by how strong he is, despite how he looks. He carries her to the car and when they get home he carries her into her apartment.

"Look at you carrying me into my home like I'm a bride." She slurs.

And then he carries her into his room. He sort of hovers around to make sure she doesn't vomit, he gets her some water and eventually, she falls asleep.

She apologizes for her behavior the next day.

She suffered a slight sprain so he helps her out a bit more for the week.

******

✨One day Laura has spent a significant amount of time in her room and Travis assumes she's asleep and he goes to grab someone on the counter he forgot.

Laura exits her room intending to get a snack when he spots Travis, shirtless with his pants (sans belt) catching just on his hips and she has a little brain-to-mouth failure.

"Fuck me." It's a comment of amazement that slips out and when it does she covers her mouth and Travis whips around looking like a deer in the headlights.

It's pretty funny the way he zips past to get back to the room, allowing Laura to admire his back as well.

"Sorry about that Ms. Kearney." He comes back out of the room with a simple gray shirt.

She's a little disappointed on two fronts. One of the now she can't admire her body more. The other is that she knows its pretty much one of his sleep shirts and he'll be back in his white shirt and jacket soon enough.

"No big deal." She waves it off and trying her best not to smile so hard. "Explains how strong you are."

"Thank you." Travis says it uneasily not sure what he was supposed to say.

Its awkward. Travis is just refusing to make contact.

"7 questions." Laura starts.

"Huh?"

"7 questions. That's about how many scars I saw. What's it from? That's the question for all 7. I'll ask the last 3 later."

Travis stands a bit more relaxed and follows Laura over to her couch and chair set up. For the next several minutes he indicates each scar and gives the story about them. Larua spends the time feeling awed, sad, and a bit angry. It really sinks in what he completely does.

______________________________________________________________

There will be more. Will be getting into the real meat next post

I LOVE IT. I WANNA SMOOCH YOUR FACE FOR WRITING MORE OF THIS.

Thank you 😭💙💙💙

[manjiropie]

do whatever is in your mind.

Young Mikey x Reader!

Warn! no warnings today! enjoy!

It's not often Mikey and I have a quarrel. We do bicker here and there, but that's what happens between friends, right?

I've joined Toman for almost a year now– although I've known Manjiro for much longer. I met him through Emma, who is a big friend of mine for as long as I can remember. She was there for me at times when I felt like there was no exit, no light. She's an extremely important part of my life– of me.

I've come to realize that I have been spending more and more time near Mikey, which is not bad, I do enjoy his presence. He may look tough and intimidating but he's just like a mochi: freezing cold on the outside but melting saccharine inside. Now that I'm a part of the gang and actually get to know and participate, I've gotten closer to him. Here and there Mikey invites me out.

"So, it's like a date?" I'd smirk suggestively at him.

"In your dreams." He'd try to hide his smile and he'd look away.

However, there are a few little habits he has that tend to send me on a rage trip. I get mad easily. Things will likely set on fire quickly. It's not that I want to, but my mother is not one of the most patient people in the world and she tells me to cool down. As if.

This last week was the cherry on top.

Mikey had crossed the line. He had pissed me off in every single way possible. He pretended not to listen to me while he was eating. He would answer me in a "oh, I don't really fucking care about what you're talking about!" way. He tripped while he was laughing hysterically at something Draken had said and his pink lemonade was all over my white shirt. He drew in an assignment that was due to the next day for my math class. He told me off for no reason at all in front of everyone in the last Toman's meeting... all of that wasn't on purpose. I am aware of how incredibly short his attention spam is when it comes to not so important affairs. But, fuck, couldn't he just be a little nicer to me? At least during last week where I was having sharp cramps in my fucking uterus? Yeah, maybe he didn't know that because I try not to be so obvious. But when he told us we'd be training last thursday I almost laid on the ground in fetal position and cried for hours. I didn't! I fought and then went home and cried.

Then, this Saturday– today –he invited me to his house to hang out. Emma was with a friend and his grandfather was out of town. When he called me to his house we never did much. We'd watch TV, hang out on the couch discussing stupid stuff, we'd be on our phones... nothing so wow. It was still fun, though.

I wasn't in the best mood to leave my comfy bed but I was way less in the mood to fight him off over the phone. So I slid out of the bed and dressed the first jeans I saw laying on the end of my bed and the oversized Nirvana shirt hanging off my chair (it's actually my dad's shirt, shhh).

~

I knocked twice on his bedroom's door.

"Come in." He yelled from inside. I open the door and he's laying on the bed, his head hanging off of it and his hair is almost touching the floor. His face lit up and he rolled over so he laid on his stomach. I walk over and sit down beside him.

"What's up with the frown?" I didn't notice I was frowning to be honest. Guess the bad mood followed me here.

I shrug.

"Ugh, don't tell me you're in a bad mood." He whines. "I called you here to chill and you're already angry. What's up?" He lays on his pillow and swings his legs to place them on my lap. I huff and shove them off, getting up.

"You've been treating me like shit the whole week and now you wanna chill?" I say, more calm than I thought.

"I did not treat you like shit this week? When do I treat you like shit?" His tone was one of disbelief and confusion.

"Ah, Mikey. Embarrassing me in front of the rest of gang; spilling your drink on my school shirt, which is now stained; ignoring me or answering like you're bored..." I list them off on my fingers. "I am the one who asks, what's up with you?! God, you're always being so unpredictable, which is good sometimes but not like this! Not to me!"

I flop down on the couch, starting to get tired of this whole thing. Knowing Mikey, I know that he'll not lay down again.

"So you're the only one allowed to have bad days now?" He sits on the edge of his bed and I turn my head around lazily, uninterested, bored, like him.

"You were laughing incredibly loud with Takemitchi and Draken friday."

"You can be so annoying sometimes."

"Oh, I'm the annoying one now?" I stand up.

"If you don't like my company, why did you even come in first place?" He also stands. We don't have much height difference, but he's hardly two inches taller than me.

His voice is calm, like always. Which makes me infuriated. "Fucking hell! Does it hurt for you to apologize!?" My sudden outburst takes him on surprise, and me, too.

"I already apologized, stop whining about it."

"I'm not whining–"

"If you weren't," he walks to his desk and sets a cup that was once beside his bed down. "You would've dropped this matter before."

"You don't give a damn about what I feel, do you, Mikey?"

"What?" He turns around, brows knit together.

"You heard me. You made me have a bad week and the least you could do is apologize, you dumbass!" I stomp to his direction.

"I already did! Why don't you–"

"Shut up or I'll punch you." I say, slightly looking up.

His eyebrows twitch and he slowly tilts his head to the side, like a puppy. "Or what.. ?"

"Are you fucking deaf?" I point to my ears.

He comes a little closer. "You're gonna do what if I don't shut up?"

"I'm going to punch you if you don't stop being a brat." I sneer at him. My blood boiling. The stress from this shitty past week overflowing in that moment.

"Oh, yeah?" I could feel his breath oh my nose.

"What? Are you doubting me? I would." I jerk up an eyebrow. I've never fought physically with him. But it's not like I can't.

"I'd like to see you try." His eyes flicker to my lips for a brief second and my breath fails, making me cough.

"What? Can't punch me?" He amuses.

"Fuck you."

Suddenly I feel an arm sneak around my waist and in a second I'm chest to chest with Mikey. My eyes widen– his were peaceful as ever, although superior.

"Do it." He says, looking down at me.

The way he's holding me is making my head spin. True, Mikey is cute...

"Do what?"

He laughs at my confused expression. "I don't know... what did you say you'd do to me?"

Ha ha.

His hold on me tightens.

"Do whatever is on your mind." He says.

My eyes roam free between his eyes and his soft pink lips. Do whatever is on your mind.

If he knew what was on my mind, would he still allow me to?

"Do it," he encourages me once again, "aren't you the 'oh so brave' one? Punch me, yell at me, do whatever you want to me."

Those words were the last push I needed. My hands find the soft skin of his neck, hidden by his long hair. I pull him close and lock our lips together. I feel him making a little sound, I don't know if it was surprise or relief.

If by just looking at it his lips seemed soft, actually touching it felt like kissing cotton candy or guessing cloud shapes.

He didn't pull back, in fact, he held me with both hands. I have no clue how he did that but it seemed as though all of my worries dissipated as we kissed.

My heart was beating so fast that it made my chest hurt. My head started to pound when I spent a little too long without air. I pull back from his lips and keep my gaze on them as I breathe heavily.

"Hm." He hums quietly, almost dreamily if you'd ask me.

I look up at his face and smile a bit, noticing how his cheeks are pink. I lift an eyebrow up as if asking what he was thinking. He shakes his head and then puts his right hand on my cheek, caressing it. He kisses me again. This time is slower. As though being present in the moment. As if it were just me and him and nothing else.

----------

I hope you guys liked It! It was so pleasant writing this out of the small bits of ideas that I have. Don't forget: my requests are open. You can request anything! Thank you for reading! Oh, likes and reblogs help a lot! If you consider following it'd make me even happier <3

[talesofstyles]

Reconcile II

Ok so I know that I wrote the first part with reader insert, but after many, many attempts to keep it that way, it just didn’t work with this one. So I’d like for you to meet Emma. This is my first time writing with OC and wow game changer. I love her and I hope you do too!

Also, I honestly can’t thank my beta queens enough @oh-honey-styles @for-fucks-sake-h 🥺💛 thanks for allll the comments and suggestions and nice words!!! ily both xx

Read part I here

Harry

“So… are we okay now?”

We’re sitting here on the sofa, finally having that very much needed father-daughter date. Granted, a movie night in was not what I had in mind. I wasn’t too thrilled when she said she wanted to just go back home after we dropped George at his classmate’s house for a birthday sleepover. I thought she would hole up in her room instead and ignore me. But she didn’t. I got us pizza for tea, and we’ve got Shrek 2 on the telly. Her animosity towards me disappeared just like that after she asked for a puppy the other day. Of course, I’m glad to have my happy-go-lucky daughter back, but deep down I know that we need to have a proper chat. The change in her behaviour is so abrupt that I know there’s a chance that my daughter is still bitter with me deep down. And that won’t do. I can take a lot of things, but my daughter’s resentment is not one of them.

“Yeah, we’re okay,” she nods as she takes a bite of her pizza. “You’re still getting me a puppy right?”

“I still need to talk to your mum about it, poppet,” I tell her. “Puppies need a lot of attention. It’s going to be hard work and that puppy is going to be a permanent member of our family. We’ve really got to think about it before we decide.”

I expect a little excitement knowing that her mum and I are really considering getting a puppy. But what I get is quite the opposite. My little girl’s gaze drops, her face slackening. Her voice cracks a little when she mumbles, “except… we’re not a family.”

I wince, realising how serious the effect our split has on my daughter. Despite Emma and I putting on a friendly, united front for our children, Minnie is still sad that her parents are not together. 

“Of course we’re still a family,” I assure her, pulling her to me for a comforting side hug. “I’m still your dad, mummy is still your mum, and you and George are still the lights of our lives.” 

“But you and mummy aren’t together anymore,” she points out bitterly. “And you live so far away from us now. I miss having you at home.”

“I know, my love,” I murmur gently, and turn sideways so she can see my face. “It’s killing me too. But you never know what the future holds, right?”

“I guess,” she says glumly.

I wish I can tell her that I’m trying to win her mum back so we can be together again, but I know I can’t do that. This is far too early. I don’t want to get her hopes up in case I’m not successful in convincing my wife to give me another shot. That’ll only break her heart all over again.

Thinking back, I realised that this is the first time we have a proper chat about our split. I fled to LA the next morning after my wife asked me to leave our marital home back in London, leaving her to sit down with our children to tell them that I was not going to live there anymore. I was shocked and angry because I had no idea what I’d done. I thought we were fine. There were no fights leading up to that. I still remember exactly what I told her. ‘You’re the one who wanted to end it, you tell them.’ And then I left.

Just like that. Without a fight.

I swear to God, it’s something that I would never be able to forgive myself. 

“How’s your mum?” 

“She’s sad,” Minnie sighs. “She cries a lot. She thinks we can’t hear her in the shower, but we can.”

Knowing I caused that physically hurts. I rub at the throb of pain behind my breastbone and I think about all those private tears I shed through it. The ones you hope are hidden and silent.

“Can I ask you something, daddy?”

“Anything, poppet.”

“Do you still get sad too?”

I’m not sure how much to divulge here. Does my daughter need to hear that I stopped eating? That I once cried in the loo at Cafe Habana, and once had to be fished out of a bath by Jeff after I turned into a human prune? I was sad. I still wear that hat. 

“I do. It’s the end of something, that’s always sad.”

“I think mum is dating someone,” she says and my eyes widen. “She told us Luke is her friend, but I think he’s her boyfriend. They’re on a date now, aren’t they?”

I can try and deny it, but I know my daughter is smart and won’t buy anything I tell her.

“What do you know about boyfriends?” I tease, my attempt to lighten up the mood. 

“I’ve just turned nine, I’m not stupid,” Minnie rolls her eyes. “‘Sides I’m thinking about getting one of those boyfriend thingies.”

I sit there slack-jawed, and my daughter roars with laughter.

“Minnie Alexandra, you’re going to drive me to an early grave, you know that?”

“Hey, what are you middle naming me for? I was joking!” She says, still laughing as she picks a piece of pepperoni off her pizza.

“How do you feel about your mum dating again?” I ask her.

She pauses. “I don’t know yet. As long as he’s nice and doesn’t put me under the stairs…”

“I’m sure he won’t. In the attic maybe,” I joke.

She laughs again. I’m thinking about keeping that bloke in the attic so my wife won’t date him anymore. Or even better, six feet under my patio. That’ll do.

“It’s gonna be okay, right, dad?”

Honestly, I’m not sure. But I don’t have the heart to tell her that.

“Yeah, Min. It’s gonna be okay.”

***

I see the headlight shining into the front windows as I walk down the stairs from tucking my daughter into her bed. That must be Emma and her date. I pull back the curtain a little to peek outside, and I’m right as I see that bollockface’s car in front of the house. 

You know that saying; curiosity killed the cat? Well, in my case, curiosity fucked me with a chainsaw. 

I’m a bloody idiot. I should have just closed the curtain back as soon as I recognised the car. I mean… it’s the end of a date. What did I expect to see? A high five? I knew I was so sure when they left that he would not be getting anything more than a friendly kiss, but that date must have gone really well, because right now, my eyes may as well fall out of their sockets as I see that bastard’s tongue down my wife’s throat. 

I’m frozen. I’m gripping the curtain so tight that my knuckles are turning white. I stand there—stunned. Watching. I’m not even sure for how long. It does feel like forever. Like an eternity. 

In hell.

And then Emma pulls back, and everything seems like a blur. I have to remind myself that my daughter is sleeping upstairs so I won’t go apeshit and knock that wanker square on his arse. 

I’m still glued to the floor by the door. I’m too shocked to move. I hear the sound of keys rattling before the door swings open, and she looks surprised when she sees me.

And all hell breaks loose.

“What the fuck, Emma?!” She jolts at hearing me shout. I rarely did it. In fact, I’m not even sure if I’d ever yell at my wife before throughout our marriage. “You told me last night you’d never even kissed him. You told me you weren’t ready.”

“I- I don’t know. He caught me off guard. That was-”

“I told you I wanted to make this work,” I remind her, trying to lower my voice so I won’t wake my daughter up. She doesn’t need to see this. “Us. Our marriage. I told you I wanted to fight for you. But I can’t do that with someone shoving their tongue down my wife’s throat, can I?”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I see her tear up and I immediately feel regret. That was harsh. But before I can apologise, I can see her lip curls up and I know she’s about to get nasty. It’s a rarity with her when we’ve fought in the past, but I feel it coming.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” She sneers. “You think that if you put a toy down, it’ll still be sitting there when you want to play with it again.”

“That’s-”

“You have no right to be upset at me. We’ve split up for nearly a year now. What I do and what I don’t do on my dates is none of your business.” 

“I want us to give our marriage another shot,” I say in exasperation. “I want to try to win you back, but fuck’s sake you’re not even giving me the time of day.”

“Oh, look how the tables turned,” she taunts. “Sucks, innit? Being the one struggling to find the time when it seems like the other doesn’t give a crap?”

“Cheap shot, Ems,” I retort.

“Truth hurts, doesn’t it, H?” 

Emma averts her eyes, her lower lip quivering. I can’t tell if she regrets her harsh words or not, but she doesn’t look back my way, and she seems to have said her piece.

I knew sooner or later this was bound to happen. We never had our big fight, not even that night when she decided that enough was enough.

“I cannot possibly go through that again. It physically hurts,” she says softly. “I know I was the one who ended it, but when you just left like that the next morning without so much of a fight as if ten years means nothing to you… that really did hurt. You left me alone to talk to the kids about what happened. And sure, you did call every day. But it took you nearly nine months to finally come and see your children?”

“I needed some time. Some space,” I tell her. “Do you think it’s easy for me being there? Away from my wife and kids?”

“You chose to be there.”

“You know I couldn’t stay in London,” I murmur. “It’s too hard. At least in LA sometimes I can just pretend that everything’s okay. That we’re okay. That my wife and kids will be there waiting for me when I get home. I can’t do that in London.”

“That’s a shit excuse and you know it,” she mutters.

“I still love you, Em,” I say with a sigh. I know trying to defend myself further for what I did will get me nowhere. “We can fix this. We can be a family again.”

“Harry, it’s too late.”

“Is it him?” I can’t help but go there, because that’s a possibility. “Do you love him already?”

“Luke is a fresh start for me, H. I may not love him now but at least it doesn’t hurt looking at him. It took me months to be able to get back up again, to get to where I am right now. To finally find a little bit of peace.”

Emma’s head hangs low, and she rubs at her temple with her fingers. I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms. But by how stiff her spine is, I can tell she wouldn’t come willingly. 

“I’m sorry, Emma,” I whisper, resigned. Tears well up in our eyes. There’s nothing I can say that will change her mind because we’re not seeing eye to eye. She’s still focused on the past, not that I blame her because I did hurt her badly, but I know that there is no way we can go anywhere if she can’t see past the harms I’ve caused in the past.  “I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”

“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago,” she says, her expression softens. Her thumb runs at a part of her finger where a ring used to be. “Now, I just want us to try and make this separation work. Focus on the kids. Let’s do the right thing by them.”

I nod.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“When did it all start?” I ask, my voice cracks a little. “When did you start feeling like you’re invisible to me?”

“I’m not sure I can point down to one exact moment,” she takes a shaky breath and pauses. “The change was gradual that by the time I realised it, I didn’t even recognise us anymore. I spent days and nights wondering what happened to us. That wasn’t us.”

I wipe that one tear running halfway down her cheek, and as soon as my thumb touches her skin, I lose it. I can’t help it by this point. Tears flow as much as I try to hold them back. She’s crying too. This is painful. 

“And it’d be too easy to say that I felt invisible,” she continues. “Because the truth is, I felt painfully visible. You ignored me on purpose. I wasn’t even sure what I was to you anymore, because the only chance for me to get your attention was by getting you in bed. And that was wrong. It hurts, because it felt like you only needed me to warm your bed.”

I want to deny that statement. I want to yell it’s not true. That I never intended to take her for granted. That she still makes my heart skip a beat like a bloody teenager seeing his first crush. 

But I don’t.

Because she’s right. I’m not sure what happened either, but we’d changed. Maybe it’s our jobs, maybe it’s the endless responsibilities. Domesticity, children, they wore us down. Kisses became perfunctory. Hugs became less frequent. Hell, I couldn’t even remember the last time I took my wife for a date night other than for social obligations.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her again. I’ll spend the rest of my life apologising to her if I have to, she deserves it. “I hurt you badly. I really am sorry, Emma.”

“It wasn’t all you though,” she mumbles. “I never called you out on it.”

“You didn’t,” I reply. “I never worked out why?”

“I swept it under the carpet because it was embarrassing. It felt silly having to ask for your attention. And I don’t know… pride, maybe? And the kids. I didn’t want them to know something was wrong. So I played along and carried on like nothing was happening.”

“When really…”

“It was like a punch to the guts each time. You were an excellent father. You still are, the kids adore you. This may sound insane and it’s embarrassing and painful for me to admit this, but there were times when I saw you with the kids and I couldn’t help but feel jealous. When you couldn’t even be bothered to look at me… it felt like you took a dump over all my love for you.”

“Emma…”

“I wish I could get past that. I wish I could just forget what happened and trust you again.” 

I bring her in for a hug and say nothing. She needs to get this all out. This is part of the process, and I’m here to listen. 

But where do we go from there?

Reconciling a broken marriage is tricky. I am not a violent person but I have never wanted to strangle people as much as I want to strangle those who wrote articles with countless advice regarding this subject, making it seem like it’s easy. Talk it out, get your point across, and you’re out of the dog house. Well, you know what, bollockface? It turns out that listening is not enough. Sod you and your dumb articles. 

All I know is that I can’t rush this. She’s not ready, and that’s okay. Right now, we both have things to work on. She needs to learn to let go of her resentment, and I have to learn not to take anything and anyone for granted ever again. This is killing me, but there is no one to blame but myself. I take solace in knowing the fact that I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. Maybe one day we’ll be back together. Maybe we won’t. 

“Thank you for telling me all that,” I mumble against her hair. 

“Thank you for listening,” she looks up and gives me a sad smile.

***

Emma comes from a big family. 

There’s Jamie, her eldest brother and the only guy. I think the fact that he grew up surrounded by sisters was what made us the closest in the first place. He hates wine, even though he makes a career out of managing his own vineyard. I know, the irony. The next is Suze, sister number one who lives in Sheffield with her husband and three girls. Suze and her husband are both orthopaedic surgeons. Then my wife, the middle child. Then Meg, sister number two who just had a baby. It’s another girl so my George is still the only grandson in the family. And then Lucy, the youngest of the clan who’s still in university. 

They all live nearby, and I knew that all my in-laws hated me a tiny bit for taking their daughter and sister away. They were a hard outfit to infiltrate. You don’t enter into a relationship with one of them, you get a whole gaggle of them. It was hard to get in, but once you’re in, you’re in for life. 

After we’d split, I called my parents-in-law the next morning just before my flight to LA. I wasn’t sure whether or not Emma had told them about what happened, but I felt like it was the right thing to do. After all, they’d become my parents too for a decade. So I explained and apologised. Of course, I didn’t tell them the details because I knew they were between Emma and me, and they respected us enough not to ask. They were upset, but they also understood that these things happen in life. All they wanted was just for their grandbabies to come out of this unscathed. 

Now here I am, walking behind Emma and our children as we step over the threshold into her parents’ home for their monthly roast. Her parents invited me and I accepted. I don’t want to turn down any extra time I have with my kids as I’ve decided to leave today and head back to London. I was prepared to stay longer, take some time off work and fight for my marriage, but since it all has gone to pot, I figured I should leave. The world doesn’t stop even when you’re struggling with marital woes. I’ve got work to do, and I also know that it is best to give Emma space. 

I hear voices as we walk inside.

“If littl’uns are going in highchairs then what’s that extra space for?” I hear Meg’s husband say.

Meg tells him. “Count again, addition was never your strong point.”

“Oh.”

The house is suddenly quiet when they see me. This is my first time seeing the whole family again after we split, and even though my parents-in-law and I are on good terms, and Jamie too, I know the sisters would be a different story. All four of them are beyond close and they’re now looking at me as if they should’ve chucked me in the oven instead of the chicken.

You don’t do that to our sister. You hurt one, you hurt all of us. 

“Uncle Harry!” Freya shouts in excitement. She is one of Suze’s daughters. She and her twin sister Tessa are only a few months older than my George.

Suze, who is sitting on the sofa, looks a bit sullen, not knowing what the right call is to make. Meg and her husband freeze. 

“Alright there, mate?” Jamie greets me, trying to ease the tension. Suze glares at him.

“Are you here to do magic then, Uncle Harry?” Tessa asks. 

I bend down to her level. “Not sure I know any magic, Tessie.”

“Yeah you do!” Freya pipes up. “Because when we were driving here, daddy said you did a disappearing act on Aunty Ems. Show us what you did!”

“FREYA!” Her dad barks.

Meg can barely contain her giggles.

“But we like magic. You’re rubbish at magic,” she says to her dad. He widens his eyes. 

The sisters are now all smiling smugly, knowing a couple of six-year-olds just shamed me on their behalf. Extra roast potatoes for those two.

Lucy, the littlest sister, suddenly enters. That’s definitely not a happy face. “Oh, it’s you. Is that why everyone went so quiet? What are you doing here?”

“Luce,” Emma mutters.

“Because I invited him,” says a voice emerging from the kitchen. My father-in-law. “Harry, glad you could make it.”

“Of course,” I reply. “Thanks for the invitation.”

Lucy stares daggers at her dad, knowing she can’t unleash her trademark rapier wit as she’s surrounded by her little nieces and nephews. That one may be the youngest but she’s the scariest out of all the sisters, my wife included.

“Look, if it’s weird, I can just leave?” I offer.

“Nonsense, you must stay for supper,” Emma’s mum replies.

“Yeah, Harry, stay,” says Emma’s dad, staring at his daughters. “I want you lot to be nice. Otherwise, I’m putting you on the kids table. You hear me?”

The three of them nod in unison. 

“You two look well,” I say, my attempt to make small talk. 

“You know, dad’s been singing this morning,” Emma’s mum chirps, tilting her head towards her husband. “He joined a male choir. They think they’re Westlife.”

We all can’t help but laugh. This is classic mum. The tension seems to ease away. 

Let’s just hope it stays that way.

***

There’s a strange feeling of déjà vu as I take a seat on the steps in front of the cottage. 

I’m all packed up and ready to go. My weekender bag is in the boot of my car. Nothing left to do but say goodbye to my wife and kids, but I don’t go straight inside. 

Not yet. I need a moment.

These steps witnessed a lot of our marriage even though we’d never stayed here for longer than a couple of weeks at a time. We loved to sit out here in the summer. I remember when I first brought my stuff here shortly after we got married, we sat out here with beers, sleeves rolled up, boxes stacked into Jenga-style columns. 

I also remember sitting here last year on Christmas morning. Emma and I were both in our pyjamas and slippers, sipping coffees out of our matching Christmas mugs. We watched the kids ride their new scooters up and down the street. Everything was perfect. I had no idea that my marriage would end in just two months after that.

“Harry?”

I look over my shoulder and I urge her to sit beside me. She comes over and does just that. There is silence. We don’t say a word to each other. A quiet hum of traffic in the distance, puffs of breath cloud the air making me think we should both be wearing coats. Christmas is nearly here again. My heart aches at the thought of this being our first Christmas since everything fell apart.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly.

“I should be the one apologising, Em.”

“I know you wanted to work things out,” I hear the sadness in her voice. “I really loved you, you know that, right?”

“I do,” I nod. “Our marriage, all those years… it wasn’t all bad, though, right?”

“Of course,” she quickly replies. “We had our moments. We have Minnie and George.”

We pause, letting that sink in. In all this mess, those two were and remain everything, some symbol of our marriage not being a complete disaster. 

“There were also times when you were a good husband,” she adds.

“Why do I feel like you’re going to pat me on the head?”

Emma laughs under her breath.

“Your new bloke seemed a nice sort,” I tell her, because it’s true. I may hate the guy with a burning passion, but that’s only because he’s dating my wife. 

“He is.”

“That got legs?” I ask her.

“Possibly.”

“I want you to be happy, Ems,” I tell her. “With or without me.”

“Harry…”

“But I also want you to know that I’ll be waiting for you. No rush, no timeline. I’ll wait for as long as it takes. Because for me, it’s either you or no one else.”

The front door opens and two little faces pop out from behind it.

“What are you doing out here? It’s freezing!” Shouts Minnie.

“Well then come here and give me cuddles to warm me up,” I tell her.

Emma and I take a kid each. She takes George and lets him entangle his legs in hers, cradling himself into the hook of his mummy’s arm. Minnie uses me like a climbing frame. I bop her on the nose as I’ve done since she was a baby, and I like that it never stops being hilarious to her. The sky starts to dim, trees casting shadows onto the pavement. A house down the road has some festive lights that switch on and flicker on and off in strange syncopated patterns.

“This is nice,” Minnie mumbles. “I miss the awesome foursome.”

“The awesome foursome, huh?” I ask.

“That’s what you used to call us,” I hear the sadness in her voice and my heart aches. I know she feels this all a lot more than her little brother. “I still remember.”

“Do you really have to go again, daddy?” George looks at me with sad puppy dog eyes. 

“Yeah, do you?” Minnie asks. “I love having you here.”

“I do, my loves,” I reply sadly. “Be good for mummy, alright? I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“I don’t like seeing you go,” George mumbles.

The emotion is a little unbearable and I see a tear trail down my wife’s cheek. George looks petrified seeing his mum cry. 

“Don’t be sad, mummy.”

“I’m not sad,” she shakes her head, quickly wiping the tear off her cheek. “I’m just sorry daddy and I couldn’t make it work.”

“Did we do something wrong?” George asks, looking at his mum and then me.

“Oh, mate,” I reach out to cup his face, Emma pulls him into a hug. “Of course not. You didn’t do anything wrong. You two are perfect, you hear me?”

“Do you still love each other?” Minnie asks.

Emma looks at me in the eye as she answers our daughter. “I’ll always love your dad, because he gave me both of you.”

“And I’ll always love your mum,” I say, my eyes pinned on my wife. “No matter what.”

Emma

“So… tell me, he a good lay? He looks the sort to have some girth.”

I probably should have warned you beforehand about this sister of mine.

Lucy is my entertainer sister who has done every job going alongside studying. She went to dance school, spent six months on a cruise ship, has been an extra and once did a two-month stint in Les Misérables. On weekends she dresses up as Disney characters and does kids’ parties which means she owns a lot of wigs and always has glitter in her bra. She’s the fun one. I keep her close because as much as I love my other siblings, this one has been a good entertainment through my separation. Mum suggested for her to live with me for a couple of weeks when I first moved back to the Peak, and I’m so glad she did. It was around the time I lost a stone and would spend most of the time napping, crying and staring at the wall, surviving on cups of tea and Rich Tea fingers. She couldn’t cook or clean and she used all my shampoo but she brought some light into the house when grey clouds threatened to consume it. She was also a great distraction because I could live vicariously through her tales of going to gigs and clubs and hear how she’s not slept and got her boobs out for reasons of fun and frivolity.

However, when you talk to her, she always goes there. She’s brash and has no conversational limit. She thinks her purpose is to not only feed me but also revive a pretty dead sex life too. Actually, it’s not just her. After my husband and I split, my sisters think it’s their job to pique my interest in men again. Luke happened after a boozy Chinese takeaway about two months ago when I joked that a spring roll was the most phallic thing I’d had in my mouth for over half a year. I remember a dumpling rolled out of Meg’s mouth in shock, so Suze decided to play the matchmaker and introduced me to Luke who worked at the same hospital with her.

Tonight, we’re having another takeaway night since my parents have all the grandchildren for the weekend. Bless them for entertaining that crew of children we seem to have acquired over the past nine years. We have seven between Suze, myself and Meg, and I just hope that my parents are well stocked with wine. They will need it. 

We all sit around my dining room table with the remnants of a KFC bargain bucket, a selection of Thai food, a giant bag of chips and some battered sausages. I’d admit that we were already a little drunk to buy food sanely. Luke is also here, I thought it’d be nice to give my sisters the chance to get to know him. And it doesn’t take Lucy more than thirty seconds after Luke gets up to take a phone call before asking such questions. 

“I don’t know? I haven’t slept with him yet.”

Lucy looks at me in confusion. “But you’ve been on dates and stuff?”

“We did have a cheeky snog last week but we’re taking it slow.”

“What are you waiting for? Just go shag him. Erase the memory of that wanker?” 

“Hey, he’s your niece and nephew’s father,” I chastise her for calling Harry names. “Don’t call him that.”

“Why don’t you want to sleep with Luke?” Meg, my other sister asks me. “Lucy is right though. He’s really tall, I bet he’s VWE.”

“What’s that?” I ask.

“Very well-endowed.”

I chuckle. “Honestly, I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”

Meg giggles and places her head on my shoulder. 

“Last time I had sex was on Valentine’s Day, girls. Do your maths. The next day, my marriage collapsed.”

Both of them huddle into me like penguins. 

“Which is why you just need to get over yourself,” Lucy remarks. “You need to remember what sex is like. It’ll be fun and make you feel good. If you don’t want to do it with Luke, you can have some taster session? I’ve got a uni mate who’d shag you.”

“Lovely. No.”

Lucy huffs. “You’re so boring.”

“Honestly, Em, Luke is fit. Seems like a nice fella, and he genuinely likes you. I’d have a go on him if I weren’t married. You should just do it,” says Meg.

“Yeah, you could shag him tonight,” Lucy adds. “Meg and I can piss off out and then…” 

Then she does a strange rave-style dance as she thinks of her plan coming together. Luke returns from his phone call and Lucy jiggles in her seat. Don’t you bloody dare. 

“Luke, we need more wine,” says Lucy. “There is not enough and we thought you could walk down to the shop and get some?”

Meg and I look at each other for a second, wondering what our sister is up to. 

“Sure, yeah, I could get wine,” Luke replies. “Any other requests?”

If she tells him to get condoms in then I will skewer her with a chopstick.

“Anything you might fancy or need?”

She’s walking an incredibly thin, thin line. 

Luke gets up to retrieve his coat and grazes my hand as he does. This move doesn’t go unnoticed by Meg and she gives me a sly wink. I hand him my keys and he heads for the front door. Meg stares Lucy out.

“Seriously?” She says.

“We need to prepare you if you’re going to sleep with him.”

“Like mentally?” I ask.

“Like have you had a tidy? This will be your first time. You’ll need to at least tidy up the flaps and do a bit of topiary.”

“LUCY!” I gasp and laugh at the same time, holding my hand to my face. Who is this woman? How can you raise five children in the same house and come up with such a random entity?

She stands up and heads for my kitchen drawers, rifling around until she pulls out a pair of scissors.

“Show me your bush,” she orders.

“Lucy! I prepare food with those scissors.”

“And we’ll wash them?”

Meg is in hysterics as she sees this scene unfolding in front of us.

“I’m not getting my bush out in my kitchen.”

“You’re so dull,” Lucy complains. “I’m trying to help here. What are your pits like? Shame there’s no time to tackle your upper lip.”

I put my hand over it instinctively. “I’ve got a moustache?”

“Well, you’re not Tom Selleck but it could do with a bleach.”

“You’re being cruel now, Luce,” Meg giggles. “But I think we do need the comedy of seeing Lucy trimming your bush in the kitchen.”

I stand up reluctantly and unbutton my jeans.

“Ha!” Exclaims Lucy. “You’re wearing nice knickers, you knew this was going to happen. Just peel them back a little and let me have a look.”

“Be quick for fuck’s sake. This is something that no one needs to see.”

“Do you want a shape?”

“What?”

“Yeah, like a heart? It’d be cute.”

“No!”

Meg roars with laughter.

“I’ll just trim the length then,” says Lucy. “Meg, put your hand out.”

“Do I have to?”

“Don’t you love your sister enough to at least hold her pubes?”

I’m not even sure what’s happening here. One sister is very close to my private regions with a sharp object and I hear the creak of metal as she shears away. The other collects the trimmings in a napkin in her palm. This feels like an opportune moment to ring Suze, our other sister, and start a FaceTime chat. That time we all took one for the team so Emma could reclaim her sex life.

“Thanks, Luce.”

“You don’t say this enough I feel.”

“We really don’t,” says Meg.

“Want me to look at yours, Meg?”

“I’m good.”

“What if he’s into weird stuff?” I ask.

“Like?”

“I don’t know… maybe like choking? Stuff like that.”

“Well, no one breaks out all the moves on their first time,” says Meg but Lucy gives us a look like she begs to differ.

“And I’m not on anything. I stopped the pills months ago. What if I get pregnant?”

“That’s what condoms are for?” 

They both give me a look that says I am not fourteen and that I should have an inkling about how reproduction works and the preventative measures that I can put in place to stop myself from getting pregnant. 

“How do I initiate it?”

“Maybe you could dance for him?” says Luce mockingly. “You’ve both had a drink, let it just happen. Planned sex is the worst kind of sex.”

“I planned nothing. You’re the one who’s got the kitchen scissors.”

“I’m done, anyway. Not my finest work but then at least he’ll be able to find it?”

Meg laughs again as she goes to the bin with her napkin of pubes. I do my jeans up and sit at the table, downing what’s left in my glass. What if he can’t get it up? Or worse, what if he doesn’t like my boobs? I have modest boobs. They wouldn’t win any competitions. What if he wants better boobs?

“You’re overthinking,” says Meg.

“I haven’t got any condoms.”

Lucy reaches inside her handbag, pulls out two packets of johnnies and hands them to me. How far ahead has she planned this?

“Any other excuse?” Lucy asks.

“Look, tonight, just get naked with the fella, have some bloody fun. Enjoy yourself.”

I hear the key go in the latch of the front door. That was quick. Crap. Luke enters the kitchen with two bottles of red that I immediately feel guilty about as I’ve got a rack of it in the utility room. He also carries a few packs of crisps and takes the kitchen scissors that were on my table.

“No!” I stop him. “Those need to be washed.”

He looks at me in confusion and I love that he puts them in the sink without any further questions asked. He rips opens the packet of crisps with his hands instead.

“Crisps?”

Lucy grabs a handful of crisps before she grabs her phone, pretending to read some texts. “Bollocks! Meg, we forgot about the party.”

Meg quickly plays along. “Oh yeah, crap. It’s that birthday party, innit?”

I feel awful. I’m sending the sisters back out into the cold so Luke and I can have the house to ourselves. They both keep winking at me which is more down to the fact that they’ve had at least a bottle of wine each for themselves tonight. Luke stands at the kitchen door while I wave everyone off. This feels weird. 

“Have fun, kids!” Chants Lucy as she shepherds Meg away from the house. I shut the door.

And then there were two. I turn around and Luke is no longer at the doorway. I tiptoe into the kitchen to find him stacking plates. 

“Shall we tidy up now?” He asks.

“It can wait.”

My phone on the table lights up with an incoming text. It’s Lucy. Don’t forget to adjust your tits. Make sure they’re facing forwards. Show a bit of bra. 

Does this mean my boobs are not always facing forward? Where are they looking? This isn’t helping at all. I ignore it.

“Alright,” Luke says with a smile that makes me feel relaxed but also on the faint side of nauseated. It’s probably first time nerves. Is it weird that I’m thinking about the cleanliness of my bedroom? Did I pick up yesterday’s bra from the corner of my room? Do I remember how to go down on a man? What if he doesn’t fancy me?

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder whether my marriage ended with Harry because I was terrible in bed. Maybe I wasn’t attractive enough. I’ve had kids, parts of me are stretched and doughy. Maybe I didn’t provide what he needed. 

In the last year of our marriage, I think it’s safe to say that I was mainly the one to initiate things between us and my success rate wasn’t 100%. There’s this nagging thought in my head that maybe even on those nights I succeeded, those were just pity shags.

You know what, sod it. 

I grab him by the collar and kiss him. He stumbles a little but then lets his body fold into mine. I can do this. Crap. He’s lifting me up. He sits me on the counter and I’d like to say the moment overtakes but there’s red wine inches from my arse so I move the glass with my hand whilst still kissing him. We’re kissing. This is weird. It’s different. It’s not my husband’s lips. Why am I thinking about my husband’s lips? 

I shake my head, banishing that image. Harry doesn’t belong in this room with me right now. 

I feel his hands in the small of my back and then he lifts my jumper over my head. I’m in my bra. Don’t overthink it. Oh, the bra is off. My nipples are out in the kitchen. I run my fingers through his hair as he trails kisses down my neck. Is it weird that right now, at this very moment, all I can think about is that his blond, floppy hair looks like a golden retriever?

I gasp and push him away involuntarily when his mouth wraps on my nipple. This is wrong. This feels wrong. I thought it was just first time jitters but now I think this is deeper than that. 

“Are you alright?” He asks, looking concerned.

I grab my jumper and quickly put it back on. “I… I’m sorry, Luke. I can’t. I have to go.”

“Emma, I’m sorry,” his face reads panic. “Did I read the signals wrong? I thought you wanted this. I feel terrible. I’m so sorry.”

“No, please don’t apologise,” I say hastily. “You didn’t. I did want this. Or so I thought. It’s just… I’m not ready. I don’t think I’ll be ready any time soon. Or ever.”

“What do you mean? Are you breaking up with me?”

I have to be straight with him. I take a deep breath. “I want to give you the opportunity to walk away. You’re a good guy, Luke. I just don’t think it’s fair for me to string you along if we can never progress.”

“Is it your ex-husband?”

He’s still my husband. But I don’t say this out loud. 

“He told me that he wanted to give our marriage another shot about two weeks ago when he was here,” I tell him. “I did say no right away. I didn’t think it was a good idea. But…”

“Is it really?” He asks. “You two have a lot of history. Two kids. Why wouldn’t you give him a chance?”

“I’m worried.”

“And what are you worried about?”

“My heart?” I say quietly. “I don’t want to go through that again.”

Luke smiles at me through sympathetic eyes. “Listen to me, Emma. I’m not a cardiologist, but I know that the hearts are the strongest organs in the human body. They can go through anything.”

What happens next feels like a blur. All I know is that by midnight, I’m already halfway down the M1, on my way to London. 

Harry

It was a knock on the door that woke me up.

When I first open my eyes, I’m disoriented. I don’t know what time it is, or how long I’ve been asleep. Then I realise I’m on the sofa, and it’s still dark outside. It’s also raining. I walk towards the door and open it, just in time to catch a figure going down the steps, which doesn’t take me more than a second to recognise. I am in complete shock. Is this real? Is that really my wife, standing in front of my door in the middle of the night? Or are my eyes deceiving me?

“Emma?”

She stops on the pavement and slowly turns to face me. She’s spooked through—her jeans moulded to the curves of her legs, the sleeves of her jumper dripping, her hair flat, lips slightly tinged with blue.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” she says. “Don’t know what I was thinking.”

I open the door wider, and my voice is drowsy and deep when I say, “Come on, let’s talk inside.”

She takes a step back instead.

“I just… I wasn’t thinking. I’m here. I don’t know why,” she sounds genuinely bewildered—even a little panicked.

“Are the kids in the car?” I ask her and she shakes her head. The wind blows, spraying ice-cold drops across my bare skin where my shirt hangs open. “You’re shivering, honey, come inside.” 

She stares at me, so many emotions swirling in her expression. She’s like a skittish kitten who can’t decide if she should let the stranger pat her head or haul up the nearest tree. It breaks my heart.

“I don’t think I can.”

So I go to her. 

The rain is cold and hard, soaking my shirt. Her eyes dart from the pavement, to my chest, up to my eyes and back again, like she’s ready to bolt—but her feet stay glued.

I lean in so she can hear me through the rain. “Do you remember the first time we went to Paris together? When we were young and crazy enough to only rent one electric scooter for both of us, and we rode around the city at night?”

The corners of her mouth tug up a little. “I remember.”

“But then I was going way too fast and we hit a rock, and both of us went flying. I didn’t want to ride anymore the next day, because I was afraid you’d get hurt. Do you remember what you told me?”

“I said…” she begins, her eyes meet mine. “I said we had to keep riding. Because it’s the only thing that made falling worth it.”

I nod tenderly and hold out my hand. “I’m not going to let us fall this time, Emma.”

Her eyes are back on the pavement. “I’m not sure-”

I know she still doesn’t trust me. I know that sadness on her face and how it penetrates so deeply. I know she’s probably better off without me, the bastard who crushed her heart and soul and took her for granted for years. 

We shy away from the things that hurt us. But that’s what scars are for. They protect the wounds. They cover them with thick, numb tissue so we’ll never have to feel that same pain again. The scars that my wife has inside? They’re tough. 

I beg when she continues to stare at my hand, “Please, just come inside.”

Slowly, tentatively, her hand slides into mine. 

And we go in out of the rain.

I take her upstairs to the bedroom that used to be ours. Her teeth chatter as she sits on the edge of the bed. I throw a blanket over her shoulders, rubbing her arms, sliding down to cup her hands. 

“Shit, you’re freezing. How long were you out there?”

“A while. I was walking… thinking.”

“Just some friendly advice. Next time you go a-wandering, stop and buy an umbrella.”

Emma shivers as she laughs. I pull the blanket closer around her and rub her back. 

“So… you gonna tell me what’s this midnight adventure about?” 

Her voice comes out soft and wavering in the dark room. “I was with Luke.”

“Did he do something to you? I’ve watched enough crime documentaries to pull a perfect murder.”

She shakes her head and chuckles. “We were having a takeaway night. Meg and Lucy were there too, but then they left and there were just the two of us and-”

“Please spare me the details,” I beg.

“Nothing happened. I just… I couldn’t get through it. Your face kept popping out in my head and I knew that if I went all the way through, we’d lose our chance. And I didn’t want us to lose our chance. I know this is completely the opposite of what I said to you two weeks ago but it’s true. I wasn’t ready then and maybe I’m still not ready now, but I don’t know about the future and you said you’d wait for me and…”

Her words trail off and my chest clenches with that sublime mix of excitement and trepidation. Of wanting something so much it’s like every cell in your body is stretching, reaching for it, yet there’s a grey shadow of worry that you might never get to touch it.

“Oh, Ems…”

I cup my hands around hers and blow into them. Another shiver vibrates through her. 

For a moment we sit there in silence. Memories of us in this bed come flooding back. Of the kids piling in here bright and early, and us having cuddles and catch ups over the week just gone. Of the two of us and that sacred half an hour we had together before we go to sleep. Where we could have a proper chat without little voices interrupting us every few seconds. Sometimes we’d read together too, and other times when we just couldn’t be arsed, we’d simply spend that half an hour scrolling through memes and having a laugh together.

“You’ve got to get out of these wet clothes,” I say gently, with absolutely no teasing suggestion. We’re right on the precipice. I can feel it. And I have to tread so carefully, because one wrong move could send her away, truly lost to me.

I peel my soaked shirt off and let it drop to the floor. Her eyes move, trailing over my shoulders. I stand and slowly unbutton my jeans, leaving me in black boxer briefs. 

Her eyes follow my every move, looking at me.

I push the blanket off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor. I grasp her jumper at the bottom and lift slowly. I wait for her to push me away but she doesn’t. She raises her arms instead. I pull the jumper over her head and it lands with a plop on the floor. I remind myself not to enjoy the view. I’m trying hard not to look.

My chest rises and falls as rapidly as hers. I sink to my knees in front of her and reach out for the button of her jeans. She lifts her hips and my fingertips graze her skin as I slide them down her thighs, leaving the white lace knickers in place. 

“Get under the sheets,” I whisper and she does just that.

She scoots to her side of the bed, and I slide beside her. Without a word, she snuggles into my side. The cool feel of her flesh is a shock at first, but in just a few moments, my heat chases away her chill. Except for her feet. I practically jump when she runs one up my calf.

“Yer a bloody ice cube!”

She laughs kind of evilly. 

We face each other, almost nose to nose. Her hair still drips at the ends and a drop trickles over her collarbone, down her chest, and I’ve got to take a deep breath—because I want to lick it off her so badly.

“Talk to me,” she says softly.

“I’m taking time off work.”

“But you never take time off work?” 

“I’ve got a lot to make up to the kids,” I tell her. “So I told Jeff to bugger off for at least until after New Year.”

I see her smile in the dim light.

“I’m gonna stay up with my mum,” I add. “I’ll only be an hour away from you lot.”

This is something that I’ve been mulling about. If I really do want a chance with Emma, I need to move up there because absence does not make the heart grow fonder. That may be true in secondary school when you went away for the summer. But in marriage, especially in a broken marriage, absence separates people. It creates distance. That’s the opposite of what you’re trying to achieve. You want the closeness back.

My wife’s palm runs over my bicep—tentatively at first—then with a surer touch. “They’d love that.”

“Also, you remember my old mate Stu?” She nods. “We got in touch just earlier today. He’s got a litter of puppies and he offered one for us. I told him I need to talk to you first. So what do you think?”

“A puppy, huh?”

“A puppy.” 

“I think that’s a good idea,” she says. “But I’ve never had a dog though.”

“I can train it first at my mum’s?” I offer. “I’ll get it all settled. Then when it starts sleeping through the night, I’ll bring it over.”

“Does it make me a terrible mum for wishing we had that kind of service when the kids were newborns?” 

“We had that service. It’s called sending them to the grandparents.”

We both laugh, and when the laughter dies down, we’re silent for a few minutes. The thrum of my heartbeat jacks up as her hand continues to stroke my arm. 

“Harry?” Her voice is the barest whisper, like she’s checking to see if I’m asleep. 

“Hmm?”

“I… I’ve missed you. So much.”

And I’m done.

The need to kiss her, to touch her, has been pulling at me like a raging current ever since I saw her on the front step, and with those few words, I let the current take me. 

***

Numerous studies have shown that having sex extends the human life span. At this rate, Emma and I are going to live forever. We probably slept twenty minutes max throughout the night and I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve done it. I’m pretty sure the last time we did something like that was ten years ago on our honeymoon. 

We’re sitting at the breakfast nook. Her hair mussy and she’s wearing one of my T-shirts. She looks freshly fucked, which I know to be true, and I reckon she’d be ready to crawl back into bed with me if I just crook my finger. But I don’t do that. Because this, us, sitting here in the morning sunlight, playing footsies under the table while we talk over coffee is all I’ve been dreaming about every morning.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks when she catches me looking.

“You,” I smile. “You look perfect.”

“No, no more,” she shakes her head frantically. “I won’t be able to walk.”

“You dirty lass, I was trying to be romantic and all that,” I can’t help but snort in laughter. “And you always do that… rebuff any type of compliment I try to give you.”

It’s true. If I tell her she looks beautiful, she waves a dismissive hand at me. If I compliment her mind, she blushes. Even an appreciative look from me has her turning shy like a schoolgirl.

When she doesn’t respond to me, I continue to poke at her. “Why is that? Why does it embarrass you when I tell you that you’re smokin’ hot?”

She wrinkles her nose at me. “Because it’s weird. I feel like you just have to say that.” 

She pretends to go through one of her old magazines from when she still lived here. I reach across the table and bat at it, causing one side to pull out of her hands and reveal her entire face to me. Now she’s glaring. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”

And I grin when I see red stain her cheeks.

“And you’ve got the most gorgeous body. I take one look at you naked and I can’t help but get rock hard.”

“Stop it,” she blusters, now blushing all the way down her neck.

I change tactics, but I know this will embarrass her just as much. “You are the most amazing woman. Kindest, genuine and grounded. Funniest too. And you’re the best mother for our babies.”

“Okay,” she snaps at me as she closes the magazine and slams it down onto the table. “You’ve made your point.”

Chuckling, I stretch back in my chair and nudge her foot with mine under the table. “You’re adorable.”

She rolls her eyes, which I find to be beyond adorable. 

Standing up from my chair, I walk around the table and hold my hand out to her. She willingly takes it and stands when I give her a tug. It’s a natural move for her, to walk straight into my embrace and press herself against me. I tilt my head and kiss her on her jaw. “It’s something you need to get used to… compliments from me. It’s never going to stop.”

She moans softly in my ear.

“Want to know what else you’re going to have to get used to?” I whisper as I kiss my way down her neck.

Her fingers come up, tangle in my hair, and fist tightly. “What’s that?”

“My face between your legs.”

***

Some people might not put Quaglino’s into the romantic restaurant bracket, but they’d be wrong, very wrong. In actual fact, it’s quite hard to top. The interior has this 1930’s romance charm with candlelit tables, dark-panelled walls and an adjoining room for dancing to the soft tunes of the piano man singing bluesy versions of classic songs. 

Tonight, I managed to convince Emma to go out to dinner with me before she goes back to our babies. I insist on driving her since I don’t want her to drive alone at night again, which she initially refused but finally agreed.

We finish our dinner and split a slice of cheesecake for dessert. Probably not my brightest idea since I keep having to readjust myself because seeing her slowly swallow a mouthful of white, creamy concoction is a pure kind of torture. But I try to kick those dirty thoughts out of my mind and focus. 

Since last night, we’ve successfully managed to avoid the talk. It feels like we’re in a bubble where everything is perfect and we’re just scared to burst it, but I know this can’t go on. Emma and I need to have a proper chat if we want this to work.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“You and I need to talk, don’t you think?” I begin. 

“You’re right,” she nods. “So…”

“What is this?” I gesture between us. “Are you ready to give us another shot?”

“I think so,” she nods. “But I want us to take it slow.”

“You set the pace,” I assure her. “I want this to work more than I want anything else in my life. So I’ll do whatever you want me to.”

“We’ll see this as a new dalliance,” she adds.

I know this is supposed to be serious so I try hard not to break into laughter. “Okay. I will court you but I won’t ask you to move to an estate in the country. Not right away at least.”

“I’m serious.”

“You sound like Austen.”

She rolls her eyes. “And we can’t tell anyone either.”

“I agree,” I tell her. “And from now on, we talk to each other, alright? I’ll try to make you happy the best way I know how. But if it’s not enough for you, then you need to tell me.”

She nods, but then her graze drops before she asks. “You really do want this right?”

“I told you I want this to work more than anything else in my life.”

“It’s just… when you first told me you wanted to fight for our marriage, I was overwhelmed because it was all so sudden. You told me everything I wanted to hear. Even at that moment, everything in me screamed for us to just fall back into it all the way. But there was also a part of me that thought you were just lonely, and maybe you thought that us getting back together was the answer to it.”

“Not true-”

Emma holds up her hand. “Maybe not true, but it’s my fear. That’s why I kissed Luke that night, because I was desperate. I wanted to push things with him because I knew I’d never love him the way I love you. I knew that if things went to pot, I wouldn’t be half as devastated. But with you? I don’t think I can survive that type of heartbreak again, H. You don’t know how much it killed me to end our marriage. I can’t afford to fall back into something that’s not going to last.”

“Emma,” I reach across the table to take her hand. “I can’t even imagine how hard it was for you. I know for sure it was not a decision you made lightly, nor on a whim. I wish I had fought you on it then… had fought for you then. There was a time when I thought our marriage was over, and I was going to let you go. But I’m not going to do that now. If it takes you weeks, months, hell, Emma… if it takes you years to fully trust my devotion to you, I’m in this for however long it takes.”

Emma nods, biting into her lower lip. I can see her eyes starting to water because every bit of this is overwhelming. She turns her head towards the music floating in from the other room. It’s a Van Morrison cover, Crazy Love.

“Wanna dance?”

The request takes me by surprise since this isn’t like her. But I toss my napkin on the table and move to stand next to her, holding out my hand. The simple delight on her face when her hand slides into mine is everything.

We step out onto the edge of the dance floor. I wrap my arm around her lower back, holding her tight and flush against me. One of her hands rests on my shoulder, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. The other is clasped in mine just over my heart. We sway, eyes pinned at each other for a few moments.

“Thought you hate dancing?” I smirk.

“Still hate it,” she answers. “I’m just using it as an excuse to be closer to you.”

She sighs, practically sinks into my arms. Emma’s head fits against my chest like she was made to be there. My chin rests against her hair.

“Emma?”

She lifts her head from my chest. “Yeah?”

“You don’t need an excuse.”

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love… 

***

“What the-”

“Oi!” I yell, quickly pulling the duvet over my wife and I. “Heard of knocking?”

“Heard of a bedroom lock?” Lucy challenges.

Last night, we drove up the M1 straight from the restaurant. We took breaks in deserted services with shiny floors and bad lighting where we had coffees and wandered around WHSmith bulk buying sweets even though it’s really not that far. But you can never have too many travel sweets, can you?

And now, here we are, back at the cottage. The kids are still at their grandparents until this afternoon so Emma and I are enjoying the benefit of having the house all to ourselves by having a morning shag. That is until one of her sisters walks in on us. I’m very aware that I’m still inside Emma.

I pull out, roll over to lay down next to my wife, and we both stare at Lucy who is dressed from head to toe like Princess Jasmine from Aladdin.

“Party?” Emma asks her sister. We both try not to giggle as she sashays in to look at herself in the mirror then perches on the bed in her harem pants. Today, she’s gone heavy on the winged eyeliner and shows off a flat midriff. I quite like the pointy silver shoes though.

“No, Tesco,” she says dryly. “Obviously a party.”

“What are you doing here?” I ask her. 

Lucy glares at me. “What are you doing here? Besides rearranging my sister’s guts, of course.”

I don’t even flinch. I’ve been married to Emma for ten years, I’m used to this sister of hers.

“I’m trying to win your sister back,” I say earnestly. I know that Emma and I talked about keeping this a secret, but she literally walked on us shagging. There’s no point in denying it. It’s best that she knows my true intention rather than thinking we’re divorced with benefits.

“Eh, about time,” she replies nonchalantly.

“Luce, please keep this to yourself for now,” Emma begs her. “This is still new.”

“I will,” she nods. “Just a friendly reminder, though, Styles. If you hurt my sister again, I won’t even think twice before starting a business selling voodoo dolls of you. Bet I could make a fortune of that.”

In their girl gang, Lucy is the wildcard, the likeliest to carry a shank. I don’t even laugh because she could be serious. 

“Duly noted.”

“What are you doing here this early?” Emma asks her sister.

“I wanted to ask if I can borrow that giant tiger in George’s room?”

“Feel free to borrow the rug in the front room as well,” I cackle.

“Ooh yeah,” Emma chirps. “Are you going to find a whole new world?”

“Have you got your Aladdin?”

She pulls a face at our mocking. “My mate who’s supposed to be Aladdin is sick so I asked Jamie to fill in and he agreed because he owed me a big favour. But this lot changed their mind and wanted a genie so now I have to go to Jamie’s and convince him to let me do a full blue body paint on him.”

Emma and I roar with laughter. “Please, please, please, take some piccies.” 

***

A month later…

I can only imagine the joy on my children’s faces when they open the door. I’ll be standing there with the pup in hand, but I know I’m practically vibrating with excitement myself. I glance over at the little dog crate that we’d prepared to transport him in. It’s a sweet, nine-week-old Bernese mountain dog. He’s pretty chill, curled into a round ball, but he’s not sleeping. His eyes are open and alert, as if he’s just waiting to find out what’s around the next corner.

The back of my Range Rover is loaded with two boxes of food, dog toys, bowls, a leash, and appropriate treats. Since I’m still crashing at my mum’s, that will go to her place for when the kids and this puppy come to stay. Emma has an identical list at her home, already purchased and hiding until we hand the puppy off to the kids.

I’ve got a feeling that today is going to be a good day. All morning, Emma and I texted back and forth. Some of it was practical, like making sure we agreed on all the dog rules we’d lay down with the kids tonight. Some of it was lighthearted teasing. Some of it was dirty.

I can’t remember the last time I texted my wife throughout the day just for the hell of it. I had fun with it, and I know without a doubt she had fun with it too. Which made me realise what a twat I’d been for never doing something as simple as letting her know she was on my mind in just such a way. 

Pulling into the drive, I cut my headlights so the kids wouldn’t see me approach. I shut the engine off, quietly get out of my side, and press the door closed quietly. On the other side, I open the passenger door, then spring the latch on the dog crate, and this tiny little puppy totters straight at me with tail wagging.

I lift him in my arms. I shut the door and then move over to the patch of grass. I put the puppy down so he will go potty before I bring him in. When I was a kid, we had a dog called Max, but I sort of grew up with him so I didn’t remember when he was a puppy. And Emma never had a dog before, so we’re sort of winging it with this puppy training thing. But I don’t fret about it. I mean, we’ve had babies, they’re harder than this, surely? 

I patiently wait for this little fella to do his business, which includes a few minutes where he attacks my shoelaces and tugs. Shite, he’s cute. 

Eventually, he sniffs around, tail high and then abruptly squats to pee. I thought boy dogs lift their legs when they pee but maybe not at this age. I immediately bend and give him praise with an upbeat, positive tone that makes him excited. Who’s daddy’s clever little fella? You are! Yes, you are! You did well, mate. That was brilliant! He puts his paws up on my shin, accepting my stretches with tail wagging and tongue lolling out the side of his head. My kids are going to fall in love with this little guy. 

I scoop him up in my arms when he’s done and make my way inside. But instead of entering from the front door, I circle the house so I can enter from the back, knowing they must be all in the kitchen as this is usually the time when the kids would do their homework for next week. Walking past the window, I see that I’m right. Emma is at the kitchen island with George next to her and Minnie on the opposite side. My heart starts beating faster at the thought of spending the day with my family—and apparently our new third child in my arms—and I find it almost shameful I have such excitement over it. Shouldn’t I have always been this excited? Or is it normal for things to just settle, and we take them for granted?

I shake that thought off of my mind. I had this important talk with my wife a couple of weeks ago about how we shouldn’t focus on the past. We’re both committed to repairing our marriage, and for it to work, we both know we must commit to living in the present. Because at the end of the day, the present is all we have.

I knock on the door and as planned, Emma will tell the kids to answer it.

In moments, it’s swinging open. I get a flash of Emma walking up behind our kids, but my eyes are pinned on them. They’re both in complete shock, eyes wide open staring at the puppy squirming in my arms.

Both stare at me mutely, frozen, as if they can’t believe that this is real.

Finally, I say, “surprise!”

Minnie’s gaze rises up to meet mine. “Is that ours?”

“This is ours,” I nod, laughing. But still, neither of them move forwards, so I goad them. “Come and get him?”

That’s all it takes for Minnie to scoop this little fella into her arms, pressing her nose into his head and murmuring little endearments. George scratches him and he reacts to their greetings by wiggling frantically and trying to lick both of my kids’ faces. They both laugh in a delighted way I’ve never quite heard before.

I look at my wife and see her tender smile as she watches our littles. I can tell she’s as charmed by it as I am. 

I walk inside because it’s colder than a witch’s tit outside and shut the door. “He just peed outside, but we need to keep a close eye on him. If he starts sniffing around or circling, that probably means he needs a wee. Scoop him up and take him out to the back. After he’s done with his thing, give him lots of praise and affirmation.”

“Got it,” Minnie says as she plops down on the living room floor with the pup. The puppy jumps around, and all three of them start to play.

“Now, what should we name him?” Emma asks.

“Droolius Caesar?” I joke.

Emma laughs. “Jimmy Chew?”

“Sarah Jessica Barker?” I continue. “Wait, no, it’s a boy. Franz Fur-dinand?”

“Sir Barks-a-Lot?”

“Deputy Dawg?”

“Bark Twain?”

We both laugh. We’re shite at this. The kids are too busy with the puppy to comment on our suggestions.

SpongeBob SquarePants is on the telly playing in the background. None of them are watching, but I see SpongeBob scratching his snail pet under the chin before he picks up said pet and says, “I love you Gary. Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary…”

“Gary,” I say. The kids look at me and I point at the telly.

“That’s a ridiculous name for a dog,” Emma cackles. “But I like it.”

“That’s a human name?” Minnie’s brows knit slightly.

“I like it!” George exclaims, then proceeds to baby talk the pup who’s chewing on the end of Minnie’s braid. “I love you Gary. Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary…”

We laugh.

“H,” Emma calls, and my gaze moves to her. She jerks her chin to the kitchen. “Help me set up the table? I’ve got a cold beer for you.”

Minnie and George still completely ignore us as we move into the kitchen. 

It would be natural for me to sit at the kitchen island while Emma gets the beer and checks on the supper, but the kids can see me from where they sit in the living room. So I follow my wife behind the island instead.

Before she can make it two steps, I move right into the back of her. Hands at her hips, I push her all the way forward until the counter catches her hips, then I dip to put my lips to her neck. 

Emma’s head falls back and she utters the tiniest of sighs, one arm looping back to go around the side of my head so she can thread her fingers in my hair. It’s an intimate embrace, but not one to provoke lust. Just a message that I missed her even though I saw her two days ago, and I love touching her in this gentle, loving way.

“The kids,” she murmurs. “They might see us.”

“Oh, the tragedy,” I whisper dryly. “Our children seeing  their parents hugging.”

Emma snickers and pulls away, glancing over her shoulder. “It would be shocking to them. And until we know for sure what we are and where we’re going, we need to keep them in the dark, remember? I don’t want them to get their hopes up.”

“You’re right,” I mumble in a low voice before moving to the island. I glance back at the living room and see the puppy on George’s back, trying to climb up. “No touching around the kids.”

She smiles and hands me a beer. She’s got one in her hand, and we tap bottles. She then moves to the oven, where she bends to take a peek through the window. Obviously, I stare at her arse as she does.

“It’s done,” she announces, opening the oven to pull the pan of shepherd’s pie.

“Need help with that?’ I ask, noting it looks like it probably weighs fifty pounds.

Twisting, she grins. “Sure. I made a double batch to send you home with some leftovers.”

That gets me. Not only she made one of my favourite meals, but she’s also sending me home with leftovers. I pop off the stool, round the island and take the two potholders she’s holding out to me.

After I carefully lift the pan from the oven, she shuts the oven door. I set it down on the two trivets she’s placed on the counter.

Bending over, I inhale the scent deeply. “Smells fantastic.”

Emma bumps her hip against me. “Well… you’ve been pretty amazing these last few weeks, so…”

I bump her hip back before sliding my hand around her waist. Bending my head, I murmur. “Admit it… it’s for the orgasms I gave you after the school run the other day.”

She chuckles with a sly smile. “Possibly.”

Leaning in closer, I touch my temple on the top of her head, lowering to a complete whisper. “You do know that I can give you that any day you want, right, Em? All you’ve got to do is ask.”

“Oh, I will,” she teases.

“What’s going on here?” Minnie says from behind us.

Emma and I jump apart as if we’d been electrocuted by each other. We spin to see Minnie standing there, with George next to her holding Gary in his arms. These two must have worn that pup out as he is still, watching us curiously.

Minnie’s expression, on the other hand, is condemning and suspicious.

“Nothing’s going on, poppet,” Emma says, her voice a little squeaky in panic. It’s adorable.

“Your mum and I were just talking,” I calmly explain.

“With your arm around her waist and whispering,” Minnie challenges. “Looks more like flirting to me.”

“Are you upset about it?” I challenge back. I knew she was upset when we separated and she struggled with it for a long time. 

Her brows knit together. “I’m just confused.”

Emma’s expression indicates she has no clue what to say. I can’t say I’m any more well equipped, but I’m going to take this one. I give my wife a subtle chin tilt, silently telling her I’ll handle this and relief evident in her eyes.

“Come on, you lot. Help me sort Gary’s stuff,” I say, herding them towards the garage. 

All three of them follow me into the garage, Gary still cosy in George’s arms. 

I immediately spot the stack of supplies, which includes a dog crate similar to mine, as well as bowls, a soft dog bed, food and toys. I pick up the soft bed towards the door that leads back into the house. Minnie turns to precede me, but I stop her. “Hang on there a second, poppet.”

When she pivots to face me her expression is guarded. “You asked about your mum and me. What do you want to know?”

“Were you two flirting with each other just now?” She demands. Crap. She’s nine. She’s not supposed to know that stuff. 

I can’t believe I get a little warm in the face at such a question, but I nod. I know it’s probably too soon to tell them but there’s no point in denying this. Both of my children are smart, and they deserve to know what’s going on. 

Her eyes narrow. “So are you… what… getting back together?”

“Does it mean you’re gonna live with us again, daddy?” George chirps.

“Not yet, nuggets. It’s not that simple.”

“It kind of is,” she replies. “You left for months. You didn’t even come during the summer. Then once she started dating Luke-”

“What’s dating?” George turns to his sister.

“It’s when you like someone and they like you back and you become boyfriend and girlfriend then you go out to eat together and do other stuff,” Minnie explains, then she continues. “Then once she started dating Luke, you’re suddenly coming around more often. And then she told me that Luke wouldn’t come over anymore and now you two are making googly eyes at each other.”

We lapse into silence for a moment. I need to think carefully about what to say next. George beats me. “I think I’m dating someone.”

“You what?” My eyes widen.

“Yeah. I asked Poppy in the playground to be my girlfriend the other day and she said yes. Then after we were done playing on the slides we got hungry so she shared her raisins with me. I also let her take a sip of my Ribena.”

I try hard not to break into laughter but Minnie doesn’t even crack a smile. 

“Okay… so here’s the thing. I was very upset. I know that was wrong of me to just leave without saying goodbye, and it was wrong of me for not visiting sooner. I needed time to let it go, and to accept what your mum wanted. But not once during that time did I not want to come back home. I’ve always wanted my family back.”

“Then what changed?” Minnie asks.

“Your mum and I spent some time apart because we both thought that was the best decision. But we were wrong. Because we realised that we didn’t want to be without each other. So now I’m trying to prove that I’ve changed. That I’m a better man, and I’m ready to be a better husband. The one your mum deserves.”

“See,” Minnie murmurs, her expression filled with confusion. George dips his head and rubs his cheek against Gary’s head, who seems to be on the verge of falling asleep. “I don’t get it. You and mum always seemed to get along great. You never argued. I never understood why you left.”

I move in close to my daughter and brush a lock of hair behind her ear. “A lot of that stuff is private between your mum and I, poppet.”

George asks. “But why can’t you just move in now, daddy?”

“It takes time, mate. Your mum and I need more time to sort ourselves out. But I promise you two that we’re trying our hardest here, okay? We need you both to be patient. Can you do that for us?”

They both nod in unison. Gary blinks twice.

“I can’t wait for us to be family again,” says Minnie.

Grinning, I bend to kiss her head. “Me too, poppet…”

***

Emma

“Gary! This way, Gary!”

Harry and I look at each other across this rather windy hilltop. The kids and Gary are exploring the neighbouring bushes and pathways as we perch ourselves on a rock nearby. We take in the view, the breeze biting at my cheeks.

My husband turns to me. “Tea? I put some whisky in it.”

“Hell, why not.”

Harry pours the tea out and we clink mugs. He brushes his thumb across my nose for no absolute reason. I was born and raised here, but this is something I’ll never tire of: these swooping hills and valleys, infinite skies and bracing breezes. As much as I loved London, I’m glad we’ve traded that life with this simpler one. There is no taxi nor Tube in sight but our kids are somehow a little bouncier and carefree. They’re happy here, and that’s all that matters. 

 “Ey up,” greets Harry at a group of people walking past us. They are obviously tourists as they have no way to respond and one of them is wearing bog standard Reebok Classics.

We hear the kids squeal in the distance and we both smile at each other. Getting that pup was probably one of our best decisions.  

“Do you remember when we first dated?” Asks my husband. “You brought me up here.”

I nod. “I do.”

“The view was decent,” he grins. 

“I know you’re not thinking about the view.”

“I was thinking about what happened when we got to the top of the meadow…”

“That was some decent shag,” I chuckle. “Nowadays, I’d worry about getting ticks on my unmentionables.”

We laugh.

I stare over at my husband taking in the view and sipping tea noisily. He always pauses for a moment on any walk to drink it all in. He rustles in his bag and gets a packet of biscuit out, opening the packaging awkwardly and offering it to me. 

“Did you know that you’re supposed to call it ‘niece’ and not ‘nice’? Apparently, they’re named after the French town.”

“That’s proper pub quiz trivia knowledge right there, Styles,” I tease.

We stay up here for a little while, but since it’ll get dark soon, we start our walk back to the car. The one thing you forget about taking kids up mountains (small hills) is that for all that experience of green space and fresh air, eventually, you will have to bring them down. Despite having an entire packet of biscuit (with a whole lot of why did you bring this one? This is rubbish. You could’ve brought hobnobs), we failed to remember to pack enough snacks and a fine drizzle is now scratching at our faces. It takes George much persuading to keep walking and by the time we return to the car, the sun is dipping behind the clouds and the twilight sits in the air. 

Harry decided it was fine to park in a deserted car park in the middle of nowhere to escape the throngs of regular walkers and tourists but strangely enough, when we get back there, we are one of six parked up.

“Come on, mate. Literally, just to the car. Like twenty more steps,” Harry begs our son to keep on walking. 

“You lied!” He complains. “You said that twenty steps ago.”

“I’ve got Haribo in the car.”

He progresses to a light canter. 

“Where did all these cars come from?” Harry asks as he approaches our motor cautiously.

“Maybe you’re not the only smart one here and people are following your lead.”

A car flashes us. 

I look around at all the cars. People are sat in them. What are they waiting for? You see this sometimes when waiting for the rain to pass or when people decide to eat their lunch in the car. 

Suddenly, I hear a car door open and a gentleman approaches us. His footsteps are low.

I know him. It’s Patrick. He’s our postman, so, yes, we have our very own Postman Pat. It was the first thing that tickled Harry when he found out years ago. And even better, the joke is not lost on Pat. His wife even got him a stuffed black and white cat for his cherry-red van window. I smile at recognising him, as do all of the occupants in our car.

“Emma, Harry, kids. Fancy seeing you here, of all places.”

“We’ve got a new dog and we were just taking him for a walk,” I inform him.

“Oh, lovely. What’s his name?”

“Gary,” the kids say in unison.

“Have you got a dog, Pat?” George asks him.

“No, my wife’s a cat lady. But funny you should mention dogs. This place here, people like to come here for that reason.”

“Gary seemed to like it,” pipes in Harry. “I think it’ll be his favourite.”

“That it is. People come here all the time for walking and with their dogs and other such endeavours.” His face looks slightly ashen at this point, his eyes darting towards the other cars. “And the other sense of the word… I just thought I would mention it as you have the littl’uns and it’s getting darker. I think someone just flashed his lights to warn you.”

Harry and I realise what he means exactly at the same time. “OH!” we say at the same gobsmacked volume. 

“Dogg…ing…” Harry mumbles. “We should-”

“Leave, like definitely leave, like now,” I say finishing his sentence.

The kids appear confused. I look around and shield my eyes. I should shield the children’s eyes. Pat’s wife waves from the passenger seat.

“Give our regards to June,” I say.

“Will do.”

He salutes us and returns to his car. The kids have all the questions. “People come here to look at dogs?” George asks. “Where are the dogs?”

“Get. In. The. Car.” Harry mouths very deliberately.

I slink into the passenger seat. Our eyes dart in different directions trying to divert focus from any of the cars ahead. We’ll be good if Harry doesn’t drive us off a cliff face. He turns on the wipers, the engine roars to a start and he pulls away slowly.

“We could have stayed and seen the dogs,” says George, a little despondently. “Gary would’ve loved to see his mates. Wouldn’t you, Gary?”

I throw a packet of Haribo at him. Harry and I are silent. We’ve just strolled our children and our very young dog into an outdoor sex hotspot. We are terrible parents. 

“Who fancies chips?” Harry says as he changes gear. He finds our littles in the rear-view mirror and studies their faces. “There’s a decent chippy down road.”

There’s a chorus of approval from the back seat. My husband smiles. He then moves his hand over from the gearstick to find mine, fingers interlocked, the sky glowing a thousand different colours.

***

“Are you calling my turkey dry?”

I look over at my older sister Suze in the corner of our family kitchen wondering where on earth she had the courage to come out with a comment like that. Even her husband stops washing up to absorb what his wife just said to our mother. I mean, you think it, but you just douse it in gravy and make do. Such is the joy of white chalky meat like turkey. Why do this now? Now she’ll harp on about the bacon she puts on the breasts and all the goose fat. But it’s Suze. She likes the challenge. I secretly think the only way she believes she can have a relationship with our mother is to spar with her regularly so they at least have one line of communication.

“It was a lovely dinner, Mum. Did you make the mince pies?” Suze winks at me.

I shake my head at her and bring the plate of mince pies through to the living room. Amidst my mother’s wreaths and tinsel wrapped around the lampshades, it’s a familiar tableau: Pop, my grandfather, asleep in the armchair in the corner, a holy green paper hat covering his eyes. Small children crawl on the floor and make angel shapes with their bodies amidst remnants of old glittery wrapping paper.  I hope Mum’s made a trifle. My other sister Meg and her husband snooze on a neighbouring sofa, catching on much needed sleep since they just had a baby four months ago and I still remember four months sleep regression is hell. I like this part of Christmas where bits of old crackers litter the floor and twilight takes over.

I take a mince pie and escape to the last vacant spot on the sofa. George rests his head on my knees. “What are you eating, mummy?” I look down at his bright green eyes and wonder how he can still be hungry as he must be ninety per cent roast potato at this point.

“A mince pie.”

“With cow mince?”

“No, like fruity bits,” I pick out said fruity bits and drop them into his mouth like a baby bird. He pulls a face, tasting it, and then walks away.

Harry smiles at me from the bottom of the Christmas tree. He’s laying down on the floor with one of my nieces. He’s always been great with kids, long even before we have our own. My niece has her palm out, and Harry runs circles in it as he sings, “round and round the garden, like a teddy bear…”

She smiles and laughs, poising her fingers, ready to bounce. 

“One step, two-step, tickle me under there,” he pretends to collapse into giggles and my niece’s little face broadens into laughter before she rolls over and walks away to play with her cousins.

Finishing my last bite of the tiny pie, I roll under the tree to join my husband. He looks at me as I cosy up next to him, the lights reflect off his eyes.

My mother likes a real tree for Christmas. It’s the smell, you can’t beat the smell. I like to think you can get that real pine smell from a good supermarket brand toilet cleaner but I don’t say that out loud for fear of incurring her festive wrath. And so there’s always a real tree and like we endured when my siblings and I were teens, there’s still a daily rota of vacuuming up the needles as we watch that bastard go crusty and brown as it’s shoved up against the radiator. 

We lay there in silence, looking up at the branches and my mother’s multicoloured lights twinkling in some erratic fashion that my eyes can’t quite handle. I’ve been to raves that were less of an assault on the senses. It’s an overwhelming memory of our childhood, lying in silence wigging out on mum’s trippy disco lights, absorbing the magic of the season. 

“You’re drunk aren’t you, tipsy-tits?”

“You were the one who poured double shots of Baileys in our coffees this morning,” I cackle.

“That’s called Christmas milk.” 

“What are you doing here?” Minnie asks, her head nestling into my shoulder. I rake pine needles from her head.

“Nothing…” Harry replies. “Where’s yer brother?”

“Here,” George suddenly appears, rolling under the tree next to his dad to join us.

“Looks like the awesome foursome is back, huh?” Harry grins.

Minnie and George hum in agreement. I can see my babies smiling. 

It’s time.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” 

I take a deep breath. “Will you come back home with us?”

-

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[weasleypogues]

jealousy is a two way street

request: Hi could I request a young Sirius black imagine where reader and Sirius have a argument blow up infront of the rest of the marauders in the dorm with lots of shouting because they are both to stubborn to admit either of them are wrong. Lots of snide remarks and sarcastic comments (also reader and Sirius are already dating) I love your writing 

thanks so much!! hope u enjoy xxx

finally trying to get back into the groove of writing!! requests are open <3 

masterlist.

“Fuck, Marry, Kill: (Y/N), Emma Cooper, and Allison Wood.” James called off names as the Marauders, Lily, and you sat in a circle in the common room. It was approximately 2:45 AM and after a stop at HoneyDukes, needless to say no one was falling asleep till later or at all for that matter.

“Kill Emma, Fuck Allison and Marry (Y/N) for sure.” Sirius answered without even hesitating. You slightly clenched your jaw and looked at the ground.

“Course.” You muttered under your breath and looked in the opposite direction of Sirius immediately. You mentally cursed James for even bringing up Allison and cured Sirius even more for choosing her. In the past you two had arguments because of Allison whether it be that she was getting too touchy with Sirius and he wasn’t stopping it or constantly talking about her when you two were alone. But why couldn’t he just choose Emma? Was he completely oblivious to the months of constant arguing?

Sirius Black knew how to get under your skin. As much as you loved him as your boyfriend, he could be a dick from time to time and found it hot when you would get frustrated after he would push your buttons. But this time he’d gone a little too far.

“What was that?” Sirius inquired, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“I said ‘Of course”. Of course you would pick Allison instead of the sweet Emma. I knew this game would make me jealous but your dumb fucking answers are making me infuriated.” You replied, feeling like your whole body was on fire.

“Babe, we’ve been over this. She means nothing to me, I’d rather spend the rest of my life with you than be with Allison.”

“First of all, don’t babe me. Second of all, we endured months and months of conflicts because of her. She hates me! I hate her! It’s a two way street and you seem to stick yourself in the middle of it instead of choosing a side. You know how jealous I got when she would put her hand on your leg or on your arm. Run her hand through your hair. Or on date nights when instead of a nice and loving conversation it’s ‘Guess what Alli did today?’ or ‘Alli is actually too funny’.” You said, not taking a breath until the end. All of this anger and emotions that have been bubbling up inside of you were finally released and you didn’t feel any remorse at all.

He opened his mouth to say something but chuckled darkly and shook his head. “I’m not even going to say it.”

“No, say it. Please do. I’m sure we would all love to hear what you have to say.” You spat back, crossing your arms. 

“For months on fucking months during our fights you know who you would constantly go to? James. My best fucking mate. My fucking brother. At points, I felt like you liked him better than you liked me. It made me feel like shit to see you two always having a good fucking laugh. You could have came to me! Yes, there was tension between us but never on earth would I turn you away. We could’ve figured this out a lot quicker and calmer if I didn’t believe you were out shagging my best friend.” Sirius admitted, his face beet red and hair wild. Your jaw dropped and you were at a loss for words. What you were feeling was exactly what he was feeling?

“Sirius I had no-” You started but were soon cut off.

“No idea, yeah I know. If you haven’t noticed I’m an expert at keeping my feelings hidden.” He grumbled. “You know what. I’m done. I gotta go.” And with that he stood up and left the room, walking up the stairs to the dormitory. You immediately stood up and was about to take your first step until a hand held you back.

“Give him some time to cool down. If you speak to him any more he’s only going to get more heated and it won’t help anyone.” Remus spoke softly and gave you a sympathetic smile. 

“Fuck that, I’m going to talk to him.” James bursted out and shoved himself off of the ground and walked up the same stairs Sirius had moments ago.

“I really fucked up this time. If I had just kept my mouth shut.” You mumbled and ran your hand over your face and let that run through your hair. 

“You didn’t fuck up. You were angry and there were still some unspoken feelings between you two. This will get resolved. Sirius is so whipped for you that he wouldn’t do anything to lose you. Trust me.” Lily state simply and gave you a reassuring smile. You let out a shaky breath and nodded before getting up and walking to your dorms. 

“I’ll just let us both sleep on it.” You responded, though you were not completely sure of that.

“Give him a couple of minutes for he and James to sort this out between them. But you don’t want to go to bed angry, that’s not going to work.” Lily said, looking extremely sympathetic. You groaned loudly and let your head roll to the back of the couch.

“Why must you always be right, Lily?” She laughed in response.

“It’s just in my DNA.”

You waited downstairs for another half hour, fiddling with your thumbs and going through mini arguments in your head on what to say to him to clear this up. You heard the creak of the boys dormitory door open and looked up immediately to only see James walking out with his hands in his pockets, looking quite sheepish.

“I told him I’d send you up there.” James stated, taking a seat on the couch next to you. 

“How’d it go with you?” You asked, worry written all over your face.

“Not that badly. He just needs a pair of ears. He may be dramatic but he isn’t the type to want to start yelling at you.” You nodded and with that, lifted from the couch and made your way up the stairs. You chose not to knock but just walk right in to see Sirius sitting on his bed and looking out the window that was next to it. He had his hands folded in his lap and was quiet.

“Sirius...” You said, hoping not to spook him, but in reality you just wanted to soflty grab his attention. Sirius moved his head slightly but still didn’t look directly at you.

“I’m sorry about, you know, everything. I never put myself in your shoes to take in what you must have been feeling when all of that was going down. It’s just that James knows you the best so I thought that he could give me guidance on how to make things right but I never realized how it must’ve looked to you. I really do apologize for that.” You said, still feet away from him, standing with your fingers interlocked with themselves. Sirius finally looked in your direction and gave you a small smile.

“Thank you, (Y/N/N). But really I should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have blown up on you down there. I just got jealous and didn’t want to admit I was wrong considering you going to James for advice is way different than Allison heavily flirting with me all the time. It’s hard for me to take blame where it’s deserved and I let my pride get the best of me. But I want to assure you that you’re the only girl I ever want to be with. Allison is Allison and that’s it. You mean the world to me and absolutely no one could ever get in the way of that. Not even my pride.” Sirius responded, worry etched in his furrowed eyebrows and glossy eyes as he slowly made his way towards you and grabbed your interlocked hands. 

You subtly smiled, realizing if you showed anymore emotion that the overwhelming amount of emotions you were feeling right now might make you start crying. You instinctively let your body nuzzle right into his chest and you wrapped your arms around his torso, taking in his warmth and scent. He didn’t hesistate to wrap his arms around you and kiss the top of your head a couple of times. 

Pulling your head away but keeping your arms around his body, you looked up at him and smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Sirius responded with, not hesitating whatsoever. You leaned in for a long kiss and were in each others arms for a few moments longer.

[hypnobyl]

could you do some fic about swanqueen.. like where regina and emma are friends but secretly have feelings for each other and one of them confesses after having too much wine?

also wanna ask if you have any advice or starting to write fics? i’ve found that i just really like to rush when writing and find myself in writers block a lot because i always want to get to the point and the exciting stuff. also just suck at wording things and writing in general lol

I thought a lot about your question. What I did was just write a lot of little short things. Not everything has to be a novel. If you have a huge idea and get stuck on exciting moments, follow that passion and write those moments first. Build from whatever inspiration you have.

So, write a bunch of really short things, just little moments, to get the hang of your style and voice. It's a great way to practice wording. If you ever want prompts for these moments, hit me up!

And if any of those little pieces strike a chord with you, start asking how did the characters get there? Where are they going? And build the context from there.

---

“I would not have guessed you’d be into this sort of movie,” Emma said between bites of popcorn—the snack, too, was surprising: buttery, salty, and totally unhealthy. She couldn’t quite parse how the woman who limited Henry’s fast-food intake was so enthusiastically enjoying a microwaved bag of heart-attack fuel.

“I’m full of surprises, dear.”

Regina likely hadn’t meant that to sound flirty. Like, definitely hadn’t. Emma stared at the television screen, a piece of popcorn held in front of her lips for a moment too long. In the few short months that she’d been coming over on Friday nights for movies and drinks, she’d been forced to confront the fluttering of her emotions caused by Regina’s attention. But now, she realized her feelings were taking too much control. She was seeing and hearing what she wanted, not actual reality.

“Definitely,” she replied after tossing the popcorn into her mouth and crunching away. “You’re very mysterious.”

“Sarcasm?”

She glanced over and caught Regina’s wry smirk. “Oh, no, definitely not.”

They returned to the movie, and Emma gnawed on her lower lip as she tried to banish the enticing image of Regina being happy. She didn’t offer up genuine smiles often, although Emma was seeing more of them lately. Of course, Henry could evoke them at the drop of a hat, but Emma found various ways of provoking positive responses—like texting silly emojis during meetings and bringing a bag of Skittles on tough days.

An explosion flashed on the screen, and Emma attempted rather futilely to refocus on the plot. She reached for another handful of popcorn and brushed against Regina’s hand. The small touch jolted through her, and her mind dove back into reassessing each of their interactions.

She cleared her throat. “I think it’s time to break open the wine.”

Regina stood to fetch the bottle from the fridge, and Emma followed after to snag a few glasses from a cabinet. She knew her way around Regina’s kitchen by now, and they moved around each other with practiced ease. Regina shifted behind her, placing a hand just over her lower back to establish her position and presence, and Emma hated how much she felt at home.

She was too sober.

“You got the white I like,” Emma noted as she placed the glasses on the counter.

Regina huffed. “I thought a safe pick was better after the faces you made last week after each sip.”

While Emma hoped this was some sign that Regina paid attention to her wants and needs, she took Regina’s explanation at face value. It was more likely that Regina wanted to avoid her acting out. Whatever the reason, she was grateful for the kindness because she could all but chug her glass without wanting to scrape the taste from her tongue.

“Thirsty, hm?”

“That popcorn was super salty.” Emma could feel the warmth already spreading through her, and some of the tension bled away. “Super good, too, but that salt, y’know?”

“Perhaps some water would have been a better choice, then.”

“No, wine is good,” she said too quickly. “Super good.”

Regina gestured back to the living room. “Shall we?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

As the movie crept toward its climax, Emma downed another glass. Feeling bolder, she scooted a little closer on the pretext of easier access to the bowl of popcorn. Their thighs came into contact, and Emma tried to sit as still as possible to avoid drawing attention. She really didn’t want Regina to inch away.

The main character delivered a powerful line before enacting a magnificent feat of physical prowess, and Regina snorted. Emma echoed the noise, which sparked more of a real laugh. Despite the movie’s tension, they laughed, and Emma tossed a bit of popcorn across the centimeters between them. It landed in Regina’s cleavage, and the wine helped Emma decide to try and retrieve the food. By the time her brain caught up with her actions, she had her hand down Regina’s shirt.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry.”

She jerked her hand away, leaving Regina’s blouse tugged low to reveal the edge of a lacy black bra. Stop staring, she commanded herself. Please, she amended a moment later when her eyes refused to travel back to Regina’s face. Everything felt very warm.

“Emma?”

“Yeah?”

Regina gingerly adjusted her blouse, and Emma finally looked up.

“I think you’ve had too much to drink.”

Emma’s emotions tumbled around her stomach, sloshing through the alcohol and getting mired in past pain. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be a burden. I’ll go.”

Regina’s hand settled on her knee, effectively holding her down with the barest of touches. “You’re not a burden.”

Lip trembling, Emma shrugged. “It’s okay. I’ll—It’s…”

“What’s upsetting you?” Regina paused the movie and turned to better look Emma in the eyes. “I may poke fun at the cricket, but his advice has… it’s helped a good deal. I need to better express myself, or so he says. I enjoy our evenings together, but I’ve noticed you’ve become jumpy as of late. Have I done something to cause you to drink more? Do you need to be drunk to bear my company?”

“No!” Emma shook her head too fast, causing the room to spin. “I just…”

“You just?”

“You’re so hot.” Her face flushed bright red, but she was too unsteady to get to her feet and flee the emotional moment, like she wanted to. Instead, she let her verbal vomit fly. “That’s like too rude, but it’s true. I like you. Like a lot. And I want you to want me, and my brain is like reading everything too much. Between the lines, or whatever. I don’t even really watch the movies anymore. I can’t. I’m just thinking and thinking about like oh god, our hands touched, and you did your make up so good and your lipstick is so red and I can’t stop looking at your lips and what if we kissed?”

To stop the flow, Regina answered the question by leaning in. Because she interrupted Emma’s tirade, the kiss was mostly teeth at first, but Emma was quick to shut up.