#the point was. im sleepy and rambly and if i know someone might actually want a drawing i prefer to like. put a smidgeon of effort in yknow

[dailybaizhu]

49: celebrating our annual second of screentime!! :D

[we-always-hit-our-ass]

I just read your fluffy headcannons with Toye and they are p e r f e c t. Made me realise how much I needed this and I was hoping if you could do one with Ron Speirs. 😔✊

anon, im incredibly happy that you think my Toye hcs were perfect- i also totally get you, anon. we all need some soft speirs hcs in our lives and i will do exactly that! 😩👌💞💕

btw im incredibly sorry that i took so long to write these hcs but hopefully you enjoy them!

Taglist: @floydtab, @deldontplay, @thatsonefishyboi, @noneofurbusinez, @meteora-fc, @hufflepuffpancakes​, @hihosilvers​, @rayleighshughes

shoutout to my wifey @floydtab for helping me on these hcs, this probably wouldn’t have existed without you- you gave me so much inspo i love you ma’am 💞💕

Fluffy/General Ronald Speirs HCs

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Let’s get one thing clear here- Ron is a cold bitch but is ACTUALLY a big softie.

Only for you anyway, but no one else except you two need to know that-

Like Ron will subtly do things to impress you, and you’re just like, 'You dont have to do that I love you too fucking much already, stop tryna make me fall for you again-'

But you always appreciate it anyways because you know that this boy just wants the best for you-

Ron is straightforward and makes it his daily goal to make you happy-

If you’ve had a bad day, Ron will literally go and get your favorite food/drink/thing to immediately make you feel better, and it works 100% of the time.

Aaah- This man lowkey cares a lot in the relationship and he’s just but a bit worried and is self conscious.

But you just tell him that he's enough and that you'll love him no matter what.

After that he'll just immediately hug you and you would press kisses on his jawline while softly rubbing his back to reassure him that you’re there.

Soft declarations of love are always said and done between the two of you and you knew that you couldn’t live without it.

It was practically essential at this point and you’d never ever get tired of Ron saying ‘I love you’.

Ron is also very protective of you but he’s embarrassed to admit it.

The amount of times he almost yeeted someone because they either made you mad/uncomfortable have been endless.

Like they better HOPE that Speirs doesn’t find their address-

Ron isn’t really big on PDA but he will not hesitate to wrap an arm around your waist, and even sometimes he’ll sit you on his lap while he nuzzles his face on the side of your neck.

It’s just a personal preference of Ron’s and he just doesn’t want people to exactly see something that is intimate, you feel?

Even though he prefers to keep your relationship private, he would always softly call you endearing terms in your ear in public.

He prefers to love you in private, and he thinks that it feels more special that way.

Ron acts the complete opposite when you two are alone or behind closed doors. He’s extremely passionate and every single touch light yet intense.

Ron cannot keep his hands off you and he cherishes every moment he shares with you. 

He just loves the fact that you feel so right in his hold, like you two were always meant to be.

He loves everything about you and wouldn’t change a single thing about yourself, I promise you that.

Ron is also a MAJOR worrywart, like if he even heard you whisper ‘ow’, you better bet that he’s going to ZOOM his ass to you.

He also doesn’t express his worries verbally- oh no- his actions speak for him. He’ll hold you in his arms and will ACTUALLY kiss the area where you hurt yourself.

Ron just wants you to be alright and will fret over you even if it’s just a papercut.

Ron is also very discreet about your relationship and God forbid anyone from seeing him being soft towards you. (And God help them even more if they decide to bring it up.)

Ron constantly thinks how amazing you are while you’re right next to him with your hands in his.

He’s always extremely happy around you and he absolutely loves playing with your hair and it’s so cute.

Soft forehead kisses for this man are a must and he can’t help but smile when you press your lips softly against his skin.

Ron is definitely an athletic man and he adores swimming.

There have been countless times where Ron would take you to a lake just so he can swim with you.

When you’re done changing Ron will scoop you up and just straight up jump into the water.

Cue the WHOLESOME AS FUCK experience, thank you very much.

It’s always serene and the air is always filled with laughs as you and Ron splash each other endlessly.

Kisses are always pressed against your wet cheek whenever you two go swimming 

You’d also cradle his face in your hands as you’d stare lovingly into his eyes.

But you’d always finish swimming before him though and you’d admire him as he’d do laps.

Like Ron’s so beautiful, look at that man, he’s so fucking out of this world- 

He might or might not have been trying to impress you by doing laps, but that's a secret we'll never know-

When you’re finally dry, Ron comes up behind you as he just got out of the water and hugs you, causing you to be wet all over again.

Ron also has a special spot in his heart that is reserved for playgrounds. Like when he’s walking with you and he spots one his eyes LIGHT up and you don’t need words to tell what he was thinking.

Ron loves pushing you on the swings and your laugh and smile just keep him GOIN-

He’ll also wrap his arms around your waist as he’s behind you when you’re sliding on the slides-

The childlike wonder in Ron comes out whenever he sees a playground and that’s one of Ron’s many quirks that you loved-

Like literally the main reason he likes going to playgrounds more now is so he can just see your joyful expressions and sweet laugh-

Okokok, Ron Speirs might seem like a cat, but please believe me when I say that he adores dogs!

You could see the absolute love in his eyes when he sees Trigger and you just had the most perfect idea on what to get him for Christmas.

You fell in love with a little Bernese Mountain Dog puppy (please, please, please search them up- they’re adorable) and your plan was set in motion.

You immediately knew that Ron would love him too.

The lil pup was a pure fluffball of sunshine and this boy was bound to bring lots of joy during the holidays-

BUT HOLY SHIT YOU DID NOT EXPECT YOUR BOYFRIEND’S REACTION TO BE SO CUTE WTF-

When you presented the tiny bundle of fluff to Ron, you could see waves of euphoria emitting off of him-

You knew that Ron was already a man of a few words but he was just rendered speechless (in a good way, of course) when his eyes laid upon the Bernese puppy.

“Milo.”

“Ron- What?”

“His name is going to be Milo.”

You have caught Ron multiple times with Milo on his lap and it’s fucking adorable.

Ron would also fall asleep with Milo in his arms and you swore you were going to take a picture of that and frame it-

Milo’s energetic and bouncy personality somehow complimented Ron’s steady and calm one.

 It’s a beautiful dynamic and it just works in the best way possible.

Okokok I’ve rambled enough, but have I mentioned how caring and amazing Ron is? Yeah? Well screw it, here’s more-

Ron is a little spoon half of the time but he’ll never admit it like the stubborn cutie that he is-

You love holding him in your arms and he loves it all the same too!

But Ron is such a good fucking boyfriend, it’s making me ascend-

When you’d fall asleep in your desk while doing work, Ron would ALWAYS carry you back to your shared bedroom and lay you down gently on the bed.

Ron will get on the bed and he’d be the big spoon as he’d crawl into bed with you. 

But then you’d turn to face him in your sleep and you’d instinctively pull him closer and your cheek would be resting on chest 

Oml- I can’t the scene is too goddamn wholesome-

Buuuut if you fall asleep on the couch, Ron would bring a nice fluffy blanket to cover you and he’d sit next to you and he’d fall asleep while making sure you were ok-

You never liked waking up or mornings before, but mornings with Ron? Oh yeah, you were DOWN for that-

Ron’s fluffy tousled hair in the morning is GOLDEN and when you’d push it back to reveal his sleepy but hella handsome face, it’s fucking over I swear-

Ron also feels the same when he wakes up next to you and he genuinely thinks that it’s like waking up to an angel-

But Ron’s husky voice when he wakes up is 😩👌💕, is there anymore to say???

You’d two would just stay in bed cuddling with Milo by your side during the few hours of the morning and you couldn’t ask for anything better.

Ron was known and cemented as a hardened, scary, and stern soldier, but you didn’t mind one bit. 

Because to you... Ron was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to your life, and you couldn’t care less as to what other people thought of him. 💞

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oooooh i’m probably deceased by now, so boo- but the afterlife can wait im proud of writing these hcs!

i hope you enjoyed these hcs lovely anon and i also hope that it was good enough!

but thank you for reading, everybody, i appreciate it so much- 💞💞😩

[gottlem]

you belong with me (gigi x crystal)

a/n - some of this isnt proofread so im SORRY if it gets messy at the end it is literally 3am. also this is my first fic so pls be kind i dont know what im doing like at all. (also keep a look at for slight jackie x jan) this was inspired by someone wanting a fanfic based off of you belong with me by taylor swift and i loved the idea so here we are and i am sorry.

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Gigi and Crystal are best friends. Growing up living so close to each other made them an absolute power-duo, for years on end they have been inseparable at all times. When they were younger, Gigi would sleep over at Crystals every single weekend and neither of them would ever get sick of eachother. They spent their nights giggling at nothing and making pinky promises “to never ever not be friends” and that they would be each other's “favourite person” forever, because they didn’t know that life can get a tad bit more… complicated when you start to get a little older. Living in ignorant bliss of the impending doom of high school, they would spend their time in their own little bubble, making the most of each other's company. In their minds, it wasn’t a question whether or not they loved each other. The answer was there without even having to ask the question, but of course they were too young to fully understand anyway.

In her early teens, Crystal would slowly realise that if young Gigi and Crystal were a boy and a girl, everyone would have joked about them being together with them being so close, but since they had been two little girls, they were just best friends in everyone’s eyes. Crystal would also slowly realise that ‘just best friends’ isn’t really where she wanted to stay with Gigi, but that truth wouldn’t come for another few years. She learned about the term ‘lesbian’ when there was a rumour in the 7th grade that she was one. It hadn’t fully occurred to her that girls could like girls in that way, but when she did google what it meant on a random wednesday night, it seemed so obvious. Natural. Of COURSE girls can like girls, they’re so pretty! Needless to say, it didn’t take her very long to understand that maybe the rumour was actually true- but nobody needed to know that. Not even Gigi. Definitely not Gigi. To be honest, she didn’t know where her friend even stood on topics like this, but they had never even talked about boys, so she absolutely didn’t want to risk bringing up girls. 

In 7th grade, Gigi already knew what a lesbian was. She heard talks about her best friend being into girls, but she paid it no mind. If Crystal was gay, she’d tell her, right? Gigi could be trusted with that kind of stuff. Either way, she wouldn’t bring it up. Maybe Crystal hadn’t even heard about it, maybe she was completely oblivious. Yeah. That must be it. It was around this time Gigi realised she herself might like girls. But it had nothing to do with Crystal. Nothing at all. In fact, the topic of relationships had never even come up between them. In 8th grade, Gigi started to get little crushes, exclusively on girls. This was the year she decided she was a lesbian. By then, the rumours about Crystal were long forgotten, but her friend’s sexuality was almost always in the back of Gigi’s mind. Crystal had never expressed interest in boys (or girls for that matter), but then again neither had Gigi. She knew she would have to come out to Crystal at some point - there was no WAY she was hiding a future girlfriend from her best friend. 

One night in the summer before 9th grade, Gigi slept over at Crystal’s house. Just like old times, except now both girls had quite a big secret they were hiding from each other, completely unbeknownst to the fact that it was the exact same secret. Gigi was going to tell her by the end of the night. She was SURE of it. The hours passed like minutes and before the girls knew it, the sun had completely set outside and the moon shone down into Crystal’s brightly coloured bedroom (some would think it’s decor is all over the place, but Gigi would describe it as being perfectly Crystal). The pair had settled into a slow, but somehow not very sleepy conversation despite the time, by around 1am. If Gigi was going to tell her, it was now or never. Before she could change her mind, Gigi had looked Crystal in the eye and started with “I really need to tell you something”. She had rambled on about how much she trusted Crystal, and how much she wanted her to accept this. Crystal didn’t have any idea what Gigi could possibly be leading up to, but she did absoluetly not expect to hear “I’m gay, Crys” coming from her friend’s mouth at 1 in the morning. 

The confession left Crystal speechless. Of course she didn’t judge Gigi, she was gay too! She was just shocked. How long had Gigi known? How long have they both known and didn’t tell eachother? It took Gigi’s tearful eyes and furrowed brows to tear Crystal out of her overthinking. Shit. She hadn’t even responded. 

“Crystal. Are you mad? Oh my god you’re mad aren’t you? Or like weirded out? I can go if you want. I get if you’re like uncomfortable with me staying over now-”

“Gi”

“-I don’t have to sleep in  your room. I’m sorry I told you. We never talk about this kind of stuff why did I think telling you would be ok? I-”

“Gigi!” Crystal shook Gigi’s shoulders to get her attention. Her eyes were bloodshot and Crystal cursed her brain for short circuiting when it did. She knew she had to tell Gigi now. 

“Me too” her voice came out as a whisper, but it cut through the silence of the room with ease. It was Gigi’s turn to be stunned into silence. Neither of the girls said anything. Crystal just hugged her friend. She didn’t stop until they woke up in the morning. That week, Crystal let her eyes linger on her friend a little longer than normal every time they passed each other at school. She found herself re-typing text messages and doing anything to speak to Gigi. She knew what all this meant, but she would not tell Gigi. It was  just a little crush. Everybody gets little crushes.

10th grade rolls around far too quickly than anyone would like to accept. Gigi and Crystal are as close as ever. Well, as close as ‘just friends’ can be, much to Crystal’s (hidden) dismay. Jan and Jackie, who had become very good friends with the pair in 9th grade, would constantly tease Crystal about her not-so-small-anymore crush on Gigi when the other girl wasn’t looking. Of course, Crystal hadn’t told them, but it wasn’t necessarily difficult for the couple to figure it out when she would stare at Gigi every chance she got. The teasing only got more painful about a month into 10th grade, when Gigi started dating the new student, Nicky. Suddenly, Crystal felt herself become awkward around her best friend - someone she used to feel so free with. It was easier to pretend she wasn’t falling in love with her when she was single. But now, now she had someone to be jealous of. Someone to remind her that clearly she’s just not good enough for Gigi. Every now and again, Gigi wouldn’t show up to their usual lunch table, leaving Crystal to third wheel with Jan and Jackie. On these days, Crystal didn’t bother looking for Gigi, she knew who she was with, and frankly she couldn’t bear to see them together. When she first saw the couple kiss, it made her stomach drop. Gigi was waiting for the bus when her friend sat next to her and made easy conversation. They were smiling and laughing until Nicky’s car (because of course she could drive) came to pick Gigi up. When she got in the car, the couple shared a moment far too intimate for Crystal’s liking. She pried her eyes away until she heard the car leave.

By Winter break, Gigi and Nicky had been dating for three months. Crystal wasn’t very familiar with how their relationship was going - she knew it would only hurt her if she always asked Gigi about it. If Gigi wanted to talk to her about it, she would bring it up, and apparently Gigi really didn’t want to talk to her about it. Crystal was fine with this. Well, Crystal was fine with this until there was a knock on her door at 11:58pm on a December night coming from the one and only Gigi Goode. Who was crying. Like, really crying. Crystal took the girl's hand and rushed her to her room, sitting her on the bed they had shared (platonically!!!!) many times before. She let her cry. Crystal had learned in her 16 years of life that sometimes, you just gotta cry. Still, the sight of her friend sobbing so much wasn’t an easy one to digest, nor was it one she had seen often. 

After god only knows how long, Gigi’s cries had died down, she was in Crystal’s pyjamas (which Crystal thought was too much for her brain to handle right now, but considering the situation she pushed these thoughts the the back of her mind, as if she hadn’t tried that for the past year anyway) and she was holding a glass of ice water between both hands. It was Crystal who broke the silence. 

“What’s up?” She was quiet, scared that speaking too loudly would cause the fragile girl infront of her to break down again. But she didn’t. Her brows furrowed and she had a look on her face that Crystal couldn’t quite place, something she wasn’t used to by any means after being friends for a good ten years now. 

“It’s nothing. Me and Nicky just had an argument”

“And this is why you came to my house in hysterics in the middle of the night in Winter. Ok, sure.” She deadpans. Gigi gave her a look as if to say ‘you bitch’ but there’s a fondness behind it nonetheless. 

“Ok fine. It’s more than nothing. It feels like all we ever do is argue anymore. We do like, two things; we argue or we mess around, yknow? And I’m kind of sick of it! It’s like I’m here for her to make out with and that’s all that we have going for us. That’s the only good thing. And shouldn’t there be more? Shouldn’t there be romance, and dates and shouldn’t we be able to be stupid in front of eachother and-” She started to cry again, though not as intense as before, definitely enough to stop her little rant. Crystal thought it was for the better, if she heard anymore of that she might start crying herself. She could give Gigi all of that. Hell, she already did for the most part.

Crystal was torn. She wanted to tell Gigi she should break up with Nicky. She knew it would be for the better, for both of them, but she still felt like it would be selfish of her to give that advice. She didn’t want to accidentally take advantage of Gigi, with her being in such a vulnerable space. So she tells Gigi the facts - well, she didn’t really have much (or any) experience so they could be completely false, but to her they seemed quite solid.

“Couples have honeymoon phases. They can’t keep their hands off each other because they’re so obsessed with this new person they have all to themselves and people get carried away. It’s human nature. But that dies down, or it should. Eventually. Couples argue. It’s healthy to disagree and make up every now and again but there comes a point where it’s just too much. I think you know where that point is. I can’t make it up for you, it’s not my relationship, babe” Crystal let the pet name slip without thinking too much about it. She was tired and it was a school night, and her friend was upset. She told herself it meant nothing. Gigi hugged her and fell asleep quite quickly, exhausted from her emotions having taken over.

Nicky was beautiful. Drop dead gorgeous. Painfully stunning. This was a fact, this was understood by boys and girls alike, gay straight or bi. Gigi was lucky to have her, or maybe she wasn’t. Crystal didn’t know anymore. She could see why Gigi had clearly fallen so hard for the french girl, with her fashion forward style and her thick accent that Crystal had no option to admit was just plain sexy. Again, this was all fact. Gigi was also beautiful. That’s why everyone loved them together. Aesthetically, their relationship just worked. But Crystal had a tear stained pillow and a broken girl to prove that aesthetics mean nothing unless there’s love there too. And Crystal loves Gigi. She always has, and probably always will. Crystal didn’t like Nicky. She didn’t like the knowing glares she would get as they passed each other in the hall. It was as if the french girl could read her damn mind and she didn’t like it one bit. It wound her up to no end. She also didn’t like how she would argue with Gigi until she would cry and cry and run to Crystal’s house, sobbing into her pillow. It became routine. The pillow was pushed to the side, specifically for when Gigi came to cry her mascara onto it. Nicky would always apologise the next day. Gigi would always accept it. Crystal felt more and more hopeless.

A few months later, the routine continues. Gigi sends Crystal a text one night in February at around midnight, to say she’s coming over (a new-ish development in the all too familiar routine) and Crystal prepares the signature glass of water and the tear-soaked pillow for her friend. When she opens the door after Gigi’s knocking, she is met with no tears. Actually, she is met with a smile. Crystal just stands there. Gigi walks casually up the staircase and into Crystal’s bedroom, taking the glass of water and sitting cross-legged on her bed, hugging the pillow, but not for emotional support - because it's just comfier. Crystal follows her, a million questions on the tip of her tongue. She sits opposite to Gigi.

“I broke up with Nicky”

Oh.

OH.

“Just now? Oh my god, are you ok?” Crystal hears herself replying before she even knows what to say, she’s glad she didn’t say something stupid.

“No actually, I broke up with her this morning. I was talking to Jan and Jackie about it earlier, but you weren’t there. Plus, I wanted to tell you like this anyways. Here. Feels like tradition. Like it’s come full circle.”

“Are you sure you’re ok though?” It’s honestly creepy to see Gigi so calm over Nicky, after all the tears she had spilled before.

“Yeah. I think it truly ended a long time ago.”

“Oh.”

It’s silent. Crystal feels tense. Like there’s something else to be said, like something else is going to happen. And she’s right. Because when she looks up, Gigi is staring at her, pupils wide and ears red. Crystal feels like she’s under a microscope. A breath gets stuck in her throat. Gigi giggles at it. She giggles and she inches forward. She inches forward and lifts her hands. She lifts her hands to Crystal’s face. And they’re kissing. They’re kissing and Crystal is smiling. When they pull away, Gigi has plump lips and a dumb smile on her face. Crystal loves it. They sit there for a minute, just staring at each other. Letting each other give the moment a second to sink in. When it does, they laugh. And then they talk about it. And then they kiss some more. And then they fall asleep. So what if it took Gigi a bad relationship to see what was standing right infront of her? Now they have each other, and that isn’t going to change.

[inknose]

mdzs read diary part IV, the end

It’s inspiring how much self care wwx is gonna finally get now that his husband will go along with whatever he does, so he’s gotta look out for lwj’s well being if not his own. that is emphatically the STUFF

dragging my hands down I face as I read this, after all these chapters of getting up close and personal with ghouls bleeding from every orifice, slaying ancient beasts, rebelling against the entire cultivation world, the two of them are absolutely paralyzed by middle school crush sleepover math

chicken

he actually drew kissy doodles .... he....

IDK I THINK I JUST DOCUMENTED THIS PART CUZ I WAS STILL SCREAMING you cant expect me to have very useful things to say at this point

this is torture you are both so mushy you are so GONE

This part really stood out to me, it’s an attitude I feel like wwx implies with his inner narration a few times but most clearly says here: he’s not one for allowing himself to exaggerate how bad his circumstances are/could be even a little bit - he’s already lived through some extreme low points and found a way to keep going, so he never makes sweeping statements about what he couldn’t live without (Inner JingYi: you’re supposed to say you’d be lost without him here!!!) Instead he seems to accept as a given that being alive doesn’t guarantee him any pleasantness or joy at all, and as a result his feelings toward being in TRUE LOVE are surprisingly pragmatic, but also colored with such gratitude. There are a lot of things in the novel that struck me, like this, as being just a little to the left of familiar tropes/sentiments, and were more touching for it. Whether it be the influence of culture difference as opposed to what I’m used to reading in most western romance stories, or MXTX’s unique outlook, or a combination of both, it was really refreshing and made me pause over it. Not “I can’t imagine living without you” but “I could be living without you, but instead I get to be with you and I think that’s the best thing that could happen.”

ADJFDKFJ THE UST BEING SO STRONG THAT EVEN THE VILLAIN COMMENTS ON IT IN THE MIDDLE OF EXECUTING HIS EVIL PLANS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT WILL NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF. hes like god damn! here I thought I had problems

it was at this moment that I realized we were doing this Now... I’m still recovering. What a scene. I am so glad I saw the most incredible fanart soon afterwards, bc the fact that someone has already drawn a perfect comic of this part means I don’t have to

I love you so much, you are so annoying, you are perfect... I like how he’s been experiencing openly requited love for all of ten minutes but he’s already figured out how to weaponize it to piss people off

doing!!! his!!! job!!!!!

ahh... it’s a really good story. JGY is a great character. One of the most interesting differences for me between drama watching vs. novel reading experience is that without an actor to bat his vulnerable doe eyes at you and smile faintly with his cute dimples, the book does not go much out of its way to try to lull the reader into a false sense of security around him or *endear* him to you the way the show does. But just by seeing events through wei wuxian’s POV, its still enough to evoke pity or understanding towards him. The overall impression is a bit more detached though, there’s less emphasis on the spectacle of how he could manipulate everyone closest to him and more of a general feeling of resigned tragedy that everyones the worst on this bitch of an earth.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH YOU FOR EVEN ONE MORE SECOND!!!!

I clearly paused to take note of less and less parts at the end & the extras due to: a) too excited to reach the end b) too spicy to photograph and c) too sleepy cuz I kept reading in the middle of the night. but I absolutely took the time for Bro We Are Teens appreciation corner:

I’d absolutely read 40 more extra chapters of their monster-of-the-week field trip antics.

god... poor Jin Ling now basically has to deal with divorced parents that talk shit about each other to him whenever he is saying with one of them. except they are both his uncles. just a disasterhood of all uncles from start to finish. AUUUGH wei wuxian and jiang cheng have fucked me up completely, I dream of them reconciling but I also REFUSE to believe it would ever be easy. let me know if theres a fanfic that absolutely tortures you for decades before they hug

HAHAHA oh no this man ain’t making it to immortality thats for damn sure. HE’S JUST GONNA TRY AS HARD AS HE CAN HIS WHOLE LIFE NOT TO LOOK AT HIM BUT THEYRE *MARRIED* SDLKFJSF ohhhh it’s too funny, like... the mundane domestic family drama IN the fantastical swords and sorcery setting is what really ratchets up these things from amusing to fucking hilarious I think

aaaa the end... final random thoughts? No not final, I would like to please keep discussing at length and exhaustively, all the time please - CQL has gotta be one of the best TV adaptations I’ve seen. ANY adaptation of anything would be lucky to be so good!! reading the novel has just made me appreciate it even more.

- I don’t think I can do justice to what I find most fascinating about comparing the two versions briefly, to do that I need to get drunk and ramble at my friends for hours but... the condensed version is something like this. Really all the significant differences between the two versions (besides the ones which can be attributed to censorship and therefore aren’t worth discussing) are a side effect of the structure of how the story is told - there’s barely anything changed arbitrarily. Aside from having a cold opening, the drama sticks to a very linear version of the story, and I think for a TV show or film, that’s probably the best way to do it. We see everything, we get shocked and tricked and betrayed and surprised along with the characters, we feel the biggest impact at the climactic scenes having experienced all the build-up. The novel on the other hand is not only much more non-linear in WHEN we learn bits and pieces of information, but that information is also obfuscated under wei wuxian’s multiple layers of Unreliable Narratoritis, which are as follows: 1) difficulty remembering things because of personality/avoiding painful memories/actual memory loss, 2) No Homo Goggles still on, and 3) a wry sense of humor that makes the reader unsure of how much they can trust his attitude toward things, especially near the beginning. The experience of reading is a puzzle the reader has to mentally piece together through all of the above listed camouflage, and the puzzle itself is a three-sided mystery: One - How Bad of a guy was Wei WuXian really, and how exactly did all the bad stuff in his life go down; Two - wangxian epic pride & prejudice gambits; Three - political murder mystery. (I love stories like this btw... though I fully admit I’m glad I watched first this time bc it might have taken me a long time to tackle otherwise.) Because of this, where the drama wants to pull you in and submerge you in all the most potent emotional parts, the novel in direct contrast deliberately side-steps around these things and asks that you hurt yourself by filling in the blanks. In fact the more intense emotions and painful memories involved, whether it be his relationship with jiang yanli, his DEATH, the darkest days of war times etc, the more the novel evasively withholds details. I actually really like both styles of storytelling but each one is obviously way better suited to its medium. ANYWAY.... THATS BASICALLY WHERE MY BRAINS AT WHILE IM READING GAY SWORD WIZARD BOOKS

- The extras are so saturated with domestic married bliss that it’s a good thing I stopped taking pictures because I’d just take a picture of every page. this is too much for me to take... I did jump the gun a few times and read a few fanfics while I was still mid-read of the book (I tried to hold out but alas I am mortal) and at one point after finishing I was like “wow what fic was it in where lwj says something cute and wwx kisses him in public but they’re in the corner of the restaurant so no one really sees... OH NO WAIT that was actually in there.” and ... and that’s the LEAST OF IT... *stares into the distance* theyre married wow

- I ofc couldn’t help but see a few vague blogs beforehand so honestly I was braced for something like, wildly ooc for the sake of porn to happen in the extras... I definitely appreciate how the incense burner porn interludes could be uhhh a lot for many people and not my personal cup of tea in terms of smut however [here follows the words of a poisonous frog who has dwelt her whole life in the rainforests of BL] the concept is also surprisingly SWEET SDFLKJF like wwx sees lan wangji’s darkest mixed-up violent teenage fantasies and he’s just like aww babe you had a crush on me!! just... good for them

- I swear I’m not gonna rehash every cute married thing they do but wei wuxian grading papers in the tub........................rEALLY GOT ME

- I want to Draw - ok thats enough if I keep going I’ll just write “wei wuxian grading papers in the tub” seven more times probably

[strvwberryblcnde]

👫 lana & dom

send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

lana buys lots of things on random whims n i feel like smthn she wld have bought the summer her n dom started properly seeing each other is a polaroid camera. probably one of those fujifilm mini ones in pink w stickers on of holographic mermaids n butterflies. n all her friends wld be subject to hving their photos taken on this at 447294734 parties but fr the most part like 50% of the film wld be spent on dom esp considering how often they’d see each other. i cn imagine her being annoying abt it e.g. bursting in unannounced when he ws showering n flinging the curtain bk n shrieking in delight as she tkes a pic of him in there. penis NOT in shot (lana ws very disappointed when she realised altho inevitably dom ws relieved). it ws probably rly blurry too from her springing out of nowhere n running away after she’d dazed him w the flash bt lana wld never dream of throwing it away she’s probably like ugh cole sprouse WISHES he ws me tht stupid i’m weird i’m a weirdo bitch i’m taking his photographer crown n i’m loving it..... another time if she ws wearing his tshirt or smthn jst to laze around in she wld have tried to convince dom to wear her cropped bowie t-shirt she usually lounges in she’d b like OUTFIT SWAP!!!! like it ws a reality show segment. she’d do his hair w her strawberry clips n everything n wna take a polaroid of tht as well. a majority of these polaroids wld b taken w her sat on top of him in bed peeping thru the viewfinder n grinning sickeningly wide after. she’s bad at organisation bt she wld keep very close track of these polaroids n treasure them a lot bc they’d document a summer where she was rly rly happy. probably took them with her to la too she jst has them hidden somewhere.... idk if she’d ever b able to bring herself to throw them away to b honest

i jst had this vision of lana n dom taking franklin to the park n i already told u abt how she’d tell franklin tht she gives the flowers all their own names n say he shld come up w his own names fr them too bc it’s more fun tht way bt. i cn imagine if they saw two bees trying to pollinate the same flower n like buzzing close to each other if franklin pointed it out lana wld gasp n be like OMG they’re in love. they’re married bees. u can tell frm how bright their stripes r they’re extra yellow n glowing like the sun tht’s what happens. tht means they’re in love franklin. n idk if franklin wld say this or not bt if he asked what loves like lana wld b like hmMMM well. love’s kind of like being first in the queue fr the best rollercoaster. or licking the sugar off ur fingers when they’re all sticky frm candy floss. going to the zoo n getting to see all ur favourite animals on a day tht’s sunny but not TOO hot. enough to give ur nose freckles bt not burn ur shoulders. make u feel toasty like ur inside a cocoon. n love’s like........ she’d pause here. she’s crouched dwn on his lvl as she says this mayb dom hs walked off to get them ice creams n she briefly lks at him in the distance as he’s paying before lking bk at franklin. scrunching her nose playfully as she tries to stall. when she hesitantly continues she’s like. n love’s like getting home after tht perfect day at the zoo n finally getting into bed w fresh sheets when ur sleepy n ur eyes r all droopy n heavy. the pillows r fluffy n it’s safe n warm n all of the gd in the world at once. i think love’s like tht. it’s jst.... nice n stuff. n she’d jst be like :) afterwards realising she’d rambled on n change the subject like hey lk at that BUTTERFLY franklin............. bt i jst think this is. particularly heartwarming to me bc not only wld she have been basing tht on hw she feels abt dom bt. in the past love ws always a thing w barbs tht hurt her whenever she tried to hold it n.... he jst rly transformed her idea of being loved by someone into smthn safe n reliable n consistent......... smthn she cld actually make a home out of instead of constantly hving an eye on the door in case they leave / she needs an escape route..... a relationship isn’t a scary concept w him

lana n dom r like. opposites when it comes to social media esp instagram...... dom jst nt even knowing hw to use it n lana posting so regularly hving a small following fr her fashion n whtever.......... i feel like lana wld try to teach him how to use it bt it wld consist of a lot of her being like no that’s--.... dom that’s--.... that’s not ri--.... n jst throwing her head bk n cackling so much she wld b rly endeared by him being clueless abt it she’d be like ommmmmmmmmg it’s ok i’ll b steve jobs n u can be my sexy assistant tht just has to strut besides me like a car dealership model whenever i go on stage to debut the nxt technological advancement. dom wld have to be like... isn’t he dead? lana wld gasp so suddenly n be like omfggggggggg tht explains why me calling this tech nerd wearing a turtleneck steve jobs lst week bombed so hard mayb he thought i ws telling him to die..... dom’s probably like... i doubt he thought tht lana..... she wld laugh at the thought of this anyway n change topics jst the worst attention span already over it. ALSO this is instagram related bt.... bev.kingston wld rly centralise her hate crusade onto dom when it became clear they were dating / things gt mre official n serious. mostly lana wld b like this is so funny n dumb bt.... i think she wld dm bev.kingston one time being like. ok all jokes aside can u cool it a little on the dom hate not to b gross bt he makes me rly happy n i dnt want him to b sad if he ever advances beyond a technological grandpa n sees all this stuff. bev.kingston wld literally screenshot this n post it on her insta like LANA AND I HAVE BEEN IN CLOSE CONTACT I HAVE DECIDED EVANS BOY IS ON TRIAL BASIS EVEN IF I HATE IN MY HEART AND KNOW FREYA IS ONE FOR HER  n she’d update her page like 21/08/2020 LANA DM’D ME ABOUT EVANS BOY (or whtever the date ws) n it’d be sm. lana wld b embarrassed she’d try to get her to delete it she’d b like fk my fking life ur sick bev ur lit rally sick.....

lana treats halloween as a week long celebration she goes to sm parties tht she literally hs to have like..... 482759872 costumes planned each yr. n fr one of them. she’d b like let’s go as each other :) n she’d dress as an angel n he’d dress as a devil. she’d put on red lipstick before they went purely to “help w his costume” n it’d jst consist of her leaving lipstick prints on his cheek n neck n hip even if. his hip wsnt visible w the top he ws wearing she’d b like dom listen.... listen. it’s literally part of the vision n it’s necessary......... it doesn’t matter if ppl can’t see it we’ll both kno it’s there n it’ll elevate the look so mch...... w that attention to detail u cld even b in the running fr winning a prize...... then she wld take the lipstick off like it wldnt even be part of her outfit she only put it on to do this specifically. she’d insist on them getting a photo tgether n it’d b a bit gross it’d b a whole thing she jst.... wld b very proud to b seen w him she’d show him off a lot.... if anyone complimented her outfit she’d b like ya n have u seen dom he’s a devil we match :) n if there ws another pair tht had worn the same which i mean there probably might it isn’t a hugely original concept bt lana wld be like......... ummmmm tht guy is the most pathetic devil i hv literally ever seen..... if she ws drunk she might even b like ummm.... hw does it feel fr dom to be a sexier devil than u............... does it sting? jealous i bet....... n dom wld have to b like lana please.... im sry abt her.... u lk gd haha...... cushioning the blow. taking her hand n leading her away. n lana is jst tittering n murmurs in his ear like. he knew it ws true u cld see it in his eyes. he knew u lkd better than him. 

[toothpastecanyon]

We Walk Like Humans Do, Chapter 2

The Transcendence has been, on the whole, a good thing for magical creatures... for the ones that walked on two legs and fit in doorways, at least. Lacie has other problems to overcome before she can live in the big city.

Thanks to @feferipeixes for help editing this chapter! Go check out their awesome stuff!

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

________________________________________________________________

               Oh, my stars. Alcor hasn’t laughed this hard in lifetimes.

Chapter 2 of Wizard Animago’s Not-So-Secret Spellbook - Everything You Already Knew About Transfiguration and Literally Nothing Else

Hi, I’m 18Lacie5 and I wrote another chapter for you humans. Everyone was really confused on my last post and seemed to think it was a joke, so I’ll start out by answering the five most common questions you had.

1 - Yes, I am a basilisk.

2 - No, I am not the basilisk from Harry Potter.

3 - No, I do not live in the Chamber of Secrets from Harry Potter.

4 - No, I am not the horcrux snake from Harry Potter.

5 - No, I am not in any way related to Harry Potter.

Are we all on the same page now? Good, because holy shit some of you really missed the point here. I got a visit from one of you with a replica of Gryffindor’s sword, and that was so annoying I didn’t even feel bad killing him - like dude, all that tells me is I KNOW you read my post about not coming down here, and then decided to come down here anyway ‘cause fuck me, right?

(The sword wasn’t even that good. It was made of cheap plastic, snapped like a spine.)

Anyway, despite all this the last post was fun to write, so I’m doing it again. Also it seems like the number of visits from treasure hunters has gone down since I posted, though it’s hard to tell. There’s not really a consistent number from year to year, and the day I start keeping a deathcount is the day I give up on life and buy a mirror to see if I can kill myself with my own reflection.

For science, you know?

               Alcor’s read the entire blog by now and it’s just perfect. The snark, the sarcasm, the casual disregard towards human lives that could only have been written by an ancient and powerful being - it’s hilarious!   And the spell entries… man, he could listen to Lacie tear apart someone’s Latin any day of the decade. If only she could come to some of his summons; she’d have so much material to work with there.

               With a chuckle, Alcor looks up and glances around the darkness of the Mindscape. He needs to show this to someone. But who? Mizar? She’s only a year into the current reincarnation… hmm, she might be a little too young to understand it. Lucy Ann’s somewhere around; he probes for her, and finds her - dammit - during naptime at some kindergarten in Portland.

               Anyone else?

               …

               No one else.

               There’s absolutely no one else in his life right now. That’s… that’s a fun reminder.

               He sighs, and sits back on the fabric of reality. Maybe some cultists’ll summon him; he could read them a blog post, see if they laugh. That’d be fun, right?

               Al narrows his eyes at the great nothingness before him. It’d be something, at least.

               ...You know, he can feel a little tug now.

               A weak one, just one summoner, and no circle. That confuses him at first - even the real amateurs usually manage to scribble out some sort of rounded shape - and when he looks closer, he sees it’s holding one of his summoning cards, holding it in its… hand?

               No, not quite a hand, and Alcor jolts right up as he realises shit that’s Lacie trying to call him, shit he didn’t think she’d call him back so soon! How long did he keep her waiting? It’s been a couple hours - shit!

               Alcor tessers over to her in an instant, his mouth already open and spilling apologies: “Oh my stars Lacie, I am so sorry for the delay! I got distracted and I didn’t think you’d call back so soon so I wasn’t watching as closely as I-”

               A deep, rumbling growl cuts him off. It’s a deafening sound, coming from a creature lounging on a pile of bones and gold with teeth the size of Alcor’s entire body; he can’t help but cringe at that. He takes a deep breath, remind himself that he’s an all-powerful demon who definitely doesn’t need to be scared of some mere mortal… even if she is pretty scary for a mortal.

               You know, relatively speaking. He isn’t scared, he just thinks she’s scarier than, like, a human.  Like a human from that pile of human skeletons she’s smashed into the wall. Yeah, that’s not scary at all. That wouldn’t kill him… looks like it would hurt, though.

               He double checked he isn’t standing near that spellbook she’s bound to, right?

               Just as he’s thinking this, Lacie lets out another even louder growl, and he jumps back with an undignified yelp.

               “Hey, whoa, Lacie!” Alcor watches her head shift to the side. “Lacie? Hello?”

               She doesn’t reply, and he looks to her face for an answer. He sees one of her eyes now: it’s closed?

               Closed.

               The realisation washes over him as she lets out another slow, rumbling snore.

               “Oh. You’re… you’re just sleeping, aren’t you. Duh.” He straightens, and casts a glance around the room as he fixes his tie and straightens his hat. “Glad no one noticed that… Lacie?”

               She doesn’t stir, and Alcor makes a face. He’s never turned up to a summons  and had the summoner fall asleep; would she want him to wake her up? Her dreams feel pretty peaceful to him, and even though that thing - is that a giant laptop? - she’s using as a pillow doesn’t look particularly comfy, it doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

               Yeah, it looks like he should just let her call him back… but there is something. Embedded in her sluggish thoughts, he can feel a sort of drive, a sort of desperation, and that makes him hesitate. He looks for her tail, and spots it still wrapped around his summoning card, still squeezing it in a death grip.

               Alcor frowns. He watches her snore one more time, then makes up his mind. With a deep breath, he reaches out and prods at her thoughts; they immediately begin to stir. He prods again, and Lacie lets out a grunt. Her eyelid cracks open, and she drags a sleepy glare across the room.

               Her gaze meets his, and he feels pain, pain in his soul, his soul feels like it’s being pushed out through his ears ow ow OW- and he recoils, unable to bear it for a second longer.

               Wow, he thinks, that really is potent. What on earth makes it so powerful?

               Before he can wonder about that, there’s a noise. Gold coins clink against each other as Lacie jerks up, blinking hard, panic flashing in her aura. Alcor holds up his hands.

               “Hey, hey, it’s just me!” He looks down as she fixes her eyes on him. “Sorry if you, uh, didn’t want to be woken up, I just thought… you know, you called me, and… what are you doing?”

               She’s cast the summoning card aside and is now wiggling the touchpad on her laptop. He cocks his head.

               “Whoa, I’ve never seen a laptop that big. Where on Earth did you buy that?”

               Lacie doesn’t acknowledge his question. She starts typing something, and he floats closer to see her login screen.

               “18Lacie5. Heh, I like your username.” He watches her click on the password box and slowly, painstakingly jab each key with her tail. “E… Y… E… What? Why are you looking at me like- oh. Oh, I’m so sorry!”

               There’s a faint snort from Lacie as he turns away. His cheeks redden.

               “Sorry, I forget hu- uh, mortals? Mortals tend to like their privacy on stuff… it’s kind of useless since Al-V can hack into pretty much any computer on earth - um, the Alcor Virus, that’s Alvie.” He hears the typing stop, and suddenly wishes he’d chosen literally any other topic in the world. “Um, not that I would make him hack into your computer! I’m just saying he could, and he probably has already… um, I just made him to get rid of Twin Souls though, you’re fine! O-or you should be fine - you don’t, by any chance, happen to like Twin Souls, do you? It’s, um, this book - well it’s a movie now but it was a book - and Mizar - who is my sister by the way - well, that’s why I hate it, because it has my sister and I, umm…ugh, sorry, it’s gross, my sister and I, we’re- huh?”

               A low hiss makes him look back, and he sees Lacie - ow - staring right at him. She gestures to the screen, which has a word document open on it with big, bold letters.

               “Oh, you want me to read that?” He floats closer, and frowns as he reads the first line:

               Im pretending 2 type rite now 2 see how long u wil ramble 4 wtf youre still going and now twin souls no nono why r u explaning i actually cant take the awkwardnes i got 2 stop u

               Alcor blinks, then shoots her a dirty look. The noise coming out of her now sounds an awful lot like snickering.

               “Wha- I was just-! I just wanted to clarify the hacking thing I said, I-!” The snickering gets louder, and he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I guess I’m a little rusty at small talk, very funny. I’d like to see how awkward you’d be if the only practice you could get is on a bunch of cultists in basements. They’re not exactly social butterflies either, you know!”

               Lacie just keeps laughing, and Alcor… well, he puts on a show of crossing his arms and heaving a long-suffering sigh, but he’s fighting a smile.

               It’s strangely nice, being here. Lacie’s strangely nice to be around; she already feels - and he has to remind himself he’s only met her twice - almost like a friend? Maybe he just has a low bar these days, but he hears her laughter, and… it’s just very, very nice. Nice in a way that’s hard to describe.

               Nice in a way he hasn’t felt for a while.

               The feeling lingers even after Lacie’s chuckling dies off, and he’s still smiling as he watches her reach for the laptop again. She jabs the down arrow a couple times, and some more, better punctuated text comes into view.

               I have revised the terms of our deal, it starts, and Alcor clears his throat, squares his shoulders, tries to get himself back into business mode. He reads on: and I would like to exchange the human bones that are currently in my room for a human disguise I am capable of putting on and taking off at will.

               He raises an eyebrow as he reaches the end. This is not the deal he was expecting to make. A human disguise… he can tell she’s no demonologist, that’s for sure; there’s so many interpretations of that, so many wonderful ways to tw͏is͡t her̡ ̵w̢or̵d̸s ͏a͟g̢ai͘n̸st͠ ̢h͝er-

               No. He shakes his head to clear it of his worst instincts, but they won’t leave, not in the presence of such an enticing deal. Suddenly, he’s glad he doesn’t have to look her in the eyes right now; he trains them on the ground instead, and starts to speak.

               “So, um… when you’re saying a ‘human disguise’, what do you mean by that?” He can’t see her face, but he can see a bolt of frustration flash across her aura. “Huh? What’s- oh right, can’t talk, uh… well, do you want me to make an actual, convincing disguise? You know, instead of, like, a wig and some sunglasses?”

               Lacie nods vigourously. He watches her tap the caps key and add ‘CONVINCING’ before the human disguise bit. A part of him screams at all the opportunities he’s giving up - willingly! - but he forces a smile and nods.

               “Cool, I can do that. I’ve made a few humans before- human bodies, that is, not… um.” Alcor coughs. “Anyway, I can give you a convincing human form for those bones of yours. How does that sound?”

               She taps the screen.

               “What…? Oh, yes, I’ll make it so you can switch back and forth at will. Good catch. Now, do we have a d̕e͇̪͍̜̻̪͘a̙̻̬̦͔ͅl̲̝͓͔?”

               He doesn’t extend a hand to shake, but blue sparks spurt from his fingertips as he watches Lacie mull it over. Her aura fizzles with nervous energy, but it only takes a couple seconds for her to tamp it down and give him a firm nod. The rush of a newly made deal makes his grin go wide; he tries not to let it go too wide as he claps his hands together.

               “Alrighty, then,” he says, rubbing them until those sparks turn into a full-blown fire. “One meatsuit coming right up!”

               He extends a hand to the pile of bones in the corner of the room, and with a flick of the wrist he rips the energy from them all  and absorbs it. The sacrifice warms him like a good meal, and he turns back to Lacie, ready to put that newly-gained power to use.

               He steps back and sizes her up with his hands, a gesture that makes her aura simmer with uncertainty. She makes a low, nervous sound, and he waves her away.

               “It’s alright, I just… need to remember how big a human is, how much I need to squish you down... Got it!!” Alcor readies his fingers to snap. “Okay, I’ve only done this on myself before, so there might be some kinks I haven’t thought of! Don’t worry, though, I’ll probably be able to fix them!”

               Before Lacie could respond, he snaps his fingers, and his magic rushes around her like a cloud. Skin forms over scales, hair grows over horns, and the figure that remains when it disperses is unmistakably human.

               It’s also falling to the ground from the height of Lacie’s head, and oh shit catch her catch her catch her - he freezes her momentum a couple inches from the ground then lets her plop, safely but definitely not gracefully, into a puddle.

               “Oh, my stars! Are you okay?” Heart pounding in his chest, he dashes over. “I am so sorry about that fall, how are you- ow, okay , I’m gonna need to get you some sunglasses or something - how are you feeling? Here, let me help you up!”

               He extends a hand, and Lacie… just stares at it.

               Just stares at him, not moving, and he can feel panic flaring up in her aura as she can’t move, oh stars she’s so tiny right now and she can’t move oh fuck-

               Alcor blinks. “Oh, right. Um, don’t panic-”

               Don’t panic??? DON’T PANIC??? FUCK THIS SHE’S LIKE FIVE INCHES TALL RIGHT NOW AND SHE CAN’T FUCKING MOVE OH MY STARS WHY DID SHE DO THIS TO HERSELF THIS IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDEA SHE’S EVER HAD IN HER LIFE-

               “Lacie? Take a deep breath… Lacie? Lacie!” He cringes when Lacie’s eyes fix on him again. “Okay, um, I can see this is… a little stressful for you?”

               She nods vigourously.

               “Alright, um… don’t worry, I made it easy for you to change back! You just, y’know, gotta think of yourself being a basilisk again - or is it pronounced ‘battle-isk’? ‘Bas-til-isk’? Heh, that’s a weird word, I’ve only ever seen it written down-”

               Lacie ditches her human disguise as fast as she could, shooting back out to her original form and cutting Alcor off mid-tangent. He jumps back, watching relief flood through her aura as she could move again, thank the stars she could actually move and everything’s normal sized again… fuck, everything’s normal sized again. She wasted her deal!

               The relief’s spiking up into another panic, and Alcor clears his throat. “Alright, so that deal didn’t go to plan. No worries! I can’t exactly do refunds, but you’ve still got plenty of good stuff to sacrifice in here! Doesn’t bother me if this takes a few tries, heh.”

               But that doesn’t calm Lacie in the slightest, because now she has to think of another deal, her mind’s blank, she’s got nothing! But she’ll fall asleep if she makes Alcor leave again… maybe she will have to go for that deal.

               It’s hard to read her thoughts when they go quiet, but Alcor definitely picks up something about that deal as they’re retreating into a murky bubble of disappointment. He sees how she hangs her head at the idea, then lugs her laptop over to her, begins to peck away at the keys.

               He sees that, and frowns. “Hey, uh,” he starts, and right away her eyes dart over to him. “If you don’t want to make a new deal, I’m sure we could make this one work?”

               Lacie cocks her head.

               “I mean, I’ve been… I know a thing or two about being in a human body. It’s been a while, but maybe I could… y’know, show you the ropes?”

               She doesn’t say a word. The silence stretches, and Alcor laughs nervously.

               “I-if you want. I mean, it’s been a while, but maybe I could show you enough to get around? I did technically promise your disguise would be ‘convincing’, so a couple human lessons should be easy enough to fit in, without… without another deal... um, I don’t know if you like this idea or you want me to stop talking? If you do that’s fine, I can do another deal, just give me a-”

               There’s a sort of fwoomp sound, and the coils and coils of Lacie’s body seem to twist out of existence. At the same time, a human takes shape where her head was, and falls right into Alcor’s arms before he has time to blink.

               “-a sign?” He finishes, and stares down at her. She stares right back, and he’d admire the steely resolve, the carefully-controlled fear in her gaze a whole lot longer if it didn’t make his soul want to push itself out through his ears.

               “Oh, Okay. Wow, you’re, um… diving right in, huh?”

               Lacie gives her closest approximation to a human smile, and Alcor’s caught off guard by how quickly he finds himself grinning back. An actual, genuine grin stretches across his face for the first time in too long, and he chuckles.

               “Alright, Lacie, I like your gumption!” He summons a pair of sunglasses, and sticks them over her eyes. “Let’s get humaning!”

________________________________________________________________

               Humaning. Lacie had taught herself many human things over the years; she’d taught herself to read, to type, to write - heck, she’d even managed to summon a demon (and in proper human tradition, had made a poorly thought-out deal with it.) She was no novice in learning how to human.

               Maybe that’s why she thought the whole human form was a good idea. She was great at humaning! She’d taught herself so many of their skills, educated herself on so many of their customs, she was able to pass as one of them online… sometimes, it really didn’t feel like she was all that different from them.

               After all, if she could read like a human and write like a human and think like a human, how hard could it be to walk around like one, too?

               …

               As it turns out, hard.

               Very, very hard.

               Duh.

               Everything, everything is different in a human body. Sure, she thought having arms and legs would take some getting used to, but how about all this hair? How about her cramped little mouth and her stubby tongue? How about her skin? Her skin is stupidly sensitive without scales; when she was lying on the stone, she could feel every little bump in it, could feel water soaking her, making her shiver - and shivering, ugh! What an awful sensation! Even though Alcor’s got her propped her up in a chair now, her skin won’t stop whining to her that, gasp, the fabric’s a little itchy!

               Whoop de fucking do, skin. Hopefully she grows a thicker one soon enough, because this is driving her crazy.  She’s laughing at the Lacie of a couple hours ago who thought she’d just be able to stand up and walk out of the sewers, and oh, speaking of walking ?

               Hah! Try moving them at all!

               Lacie’s been without these strange appendages all her life, and moving them would be like a human trying to nod with a second head they’ve just sprouted - sometimes she’ll get lucky and hit upon whatever bundle of nerves is controlling each of these limbs, and after two hours of Alcor’s patient coaching she can make them twitch on a somewhat consistent basis, but she’s not getting anywhere fast with them any time soon.

               She can only lie here, with her blunt teeth, with her papery skin, with her useless limbs…

               Helpless.

               Absolutely helpless.

               Alcor looms over her whenever he stands up… and that scares her more than she thought it would. Everything looms over her in this form; the - she called it little - pile of treasure she sleeps on now seems like a great mountain, the ceiling she often bangs her head on is higher still, impossibly high. She sees her spellbook resting on its lecturn, and it’s about the same size as her now; she remembers how tiny it once seemed, and- OH FUCK WHAT’S GOING- oh, she’s shivering again.

               Lacie frowns at that, and she lets out a noise that’s weirdly squeaky in this throat, and Alcor taps her shoulder.

               (And she feels that, holy shit skin it’s literally just a hand)

               “...need to take a break?” He’s asking. Frowning. “Lacie?”

               She nods, quickly, and he takes the sunglasses off her face before scooting back. Closing her eyes, she thinks of being a basilisk again, and all these alien sensations fall away with a flood of relief. Lacie is herself again; she takes a long moment to savour it, to lounge across her sleeping pile, to listen to her scales scratch against the stone floor, to open an eye and see Alcor as a tiny figure in her field of vision.

               “That looks comfy.” He says. He’s grinning, but she can barely make that out. “Darn, I should’ve moved the chair, too.”

               The chair? She lifts her body, and finds the chair she’d been sitting on, crushed beneath the weight of her coils. With a little chuckle, she sweeps it out from under her, marvelling at how tiny it is - how tiny she was.

               Alcor laughs, too. “Sheesh, you flattened it. I think it’ll be easier to make a new chair.”

               Laying her head on the ground, she lets out a lazy snort.

               “…um, when you’re ready, I mean.” He adds. “Or we can stop, if you’re tired? I can-”

               She heaves herself up. Ugh, she is tired - it creeps up on her. She can’t sleep though, not when she’s so close, so fucking close to getting out of here.

               “Oh, okay… are you sure? We’ve been at this a while, I really don’t mind taking a break…”

               Lacie tugs at that mental link in the back of her mind, and feels herself switch back into human form again. Unlike switching the other way, this form greets her not with a flood of relief, but with a host of silly little complaints: her back hurts, the stone’s not comfy on her face, it’s cold, she’s wet, on and on and on and she just wants it all to shut up… but, she will admit, there is one thing she likes.

               Alcor hoists her up on one of those tiny little chairs she’d been laughing at just a second ago, and she stares at him, and she feels awake.

               Completely awake.

               She can’t remember the last time her head’s felt this clear, and it’s a pity she has to spend half her human time fidgeting in a seat because otherwise it’d be amazing. Is this really how bad the energy situation had gotten down here? Wow, she really needed to get out of here, and fast.

               “Hey, Lacie?” Alcor’s saying something, and she looks over at him. “So I know you said - or, uh, indicated, anyway - that you didn’t want a break…”

               He pauses expectantly, and then, seeming to realise she isn’t going to follow it up with a ‘Yes?’ clears his throat.

               “Right. Well, I kind of would. Like a break. If that’s okay with you.”

               Lacie blinks.

               “You know, we’ve been doing this for a while, and I’m thinking maybe we could do something else? You know, it could be something fun! It could be something like, um, like… oh, do you play Scrabble?”

               She shakes her head.

               “No? Oh, I guess that was a longshot… how bout chess? I know there’s like, online chess… no?” He frowns at her continued head-shaking. “Alright, well… What do you do for fun down here?”

               Lacie thinks on that for a moment, then turns her head towards the laptop.

               “Oh, your laptop? Nice, nice.” He grins at her. “I love your blog.”

               Wait, her blog? He’s read that? He likes that? The surprise must be showing on her face, because Alcor starts laughing.

               “Yeah, it’s hilarious! I was actually so caught up reading it, I didn’t realise you were summoning me! I love just how sarcastic it is! It’s amazing!”

               Lacie blinks. Is he… gushing? Is Alcor the Dreambender gushing about her blog?

               Is this her life?

               “Man,” he rambles on. “that joke about a killcount, that was great. I just don’t get why it’s not more popular!  Humans, they just don’t have any taste… they’re, heh, they’re too busy reading Harry Potter, amirite?”

               He nudges her like he’s made some kind of clever reference, and she snorts at him. Okay, wow, demon or not, this guy really is an absolute plonker. She loves it.

               “Haha, yeah! They’ve been, uh, playing Quidditch too much to read your stuff! Yeah! Or they’ve been, um… making swords? Making- I should stop now, shouldn’t I.”

               With a big dumb grin on her face, she nods.

               “Yep, that was getting out of hand.” Alcor rubs his neck. “I just wanted to say I really liked it a lot. It was funny.”

               Lacie’s grin got even bigger.

               “So, uh, you really have been down here all your life, huh? Dealing with treasure hunters-” He chuckles when she rolls her eyes. “Hah, I can imagine that’s not fun! Yeah... so, uh, have you ever been outside?”

               She shakes her head. Maybe before she was old enough to remember, but that was a long, long time ago. Alcor makes a face at that.

               “Yeah, yeesh. No wonder you want to get out of here, no wonder…”

               He trails off, and Lacie watches his eyes go distant for a second before a thought seems to strike him; he blinks, frowns, then, slowly, he starts to grin. He turns to her again, and she raises an eyebrow at the shine in his eyes.

               “Hey, Lacie,” He says. “Want me to take you on a little tour?”

[teainbostonharbor]

Love Letters Leading

A/N: So I wrote this fanfic for @i-is-gazebo! It’s for the IT Secret Valentine thing, and i’m deciding to upload it now. I hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Reddie

Word Count: 1.7k

letter one. dear eddie, i love you. ive loved you since we were 12. i don’t even know if you love me back, but I needed to tell you. I’ve been keeping it in for so long. You’re just so cute, you kill me every time i see you. You’re funny too. And Nice. And sweet. And caring, Just everything under the sun. I don’t know how you don’t see that I love you. Maybe you’re just an oblivious fuck. love, your secret admirer

letter two. dear eddie, I hope you liked the rose i left in your locker as well as the letter. Don’t worry, i’ll tell you who I am soon. I’m just not ready yet. This is a big thing I guess. I do actually love you, by the way. I’m not trying to prank you or anything. I’m trying to be sweet. I want you to feel loved because you fucking deserve it. You deserve all the love in the world, and I hope one day I can show you that. love, your secret admirer 

letter three dear eddie, today I wanted to mention how smart you are. You always study your ass off and get good grades. You love fixing things and reading. I think it’s cute. Fuck. Everything about you is cute. Like the reading glasses you wear sometimes. Or how sleepy you look the day of a test. God, this is coming off as creepy isn’t it? I just want to tell you but it needs to wait. love, your secret admirer 

letter four dear eddie, if you haven’t noticed, i’m doing this leading up to valentine’s day. On valentine’s day, i’m gonna actually tell you who i am. so be prepared to get roses and one of these letters everyday. it’ll be better on valentine’s, though. i have something planned. love, your secret admirer 

letter five dear eddie, i’m sorry if i sound weird sometimes. i don’t know how to write love letters or how love even works. i just wanna swoon you for fucks sake. I don’t even know if it’s working and i’m so sorry. please don’t think i’m weird? love, your secret admirer 

letter six dear eddie, how are you? good? good. I hope you’re good. i wanna see you happy, because that makes me happy. also, you’re adorable. too bad it isn’t summer and you can’t wear shorts. i like the oversized sweaters, too, though. very cute. very cool sense of fashion, unlike me. i’m rambling, love, your secret admirer 

letter seven dear eddie, well, i suppose these letter things are halfway over with. you enjoying it? i can’t wait for valentine’s. i just hope you like me back. i doubt it, and this is all stupid. i’m stupid. but you aren’t! you sweet lil hunny bun love, your secret admirer

letter eight dear eddie, these things just keep getting shorter and shorter. i don’t really know what to write. i guess i’m bad at expressing things. god, you probably hate me. i’m not smart, im just a stupid teenage boy in love. in love with you. everything you do. down to the littlest things. i can’t help but smile every time i see you. you make me so happy, eddie. love, your secret admirer 

letter nine  dear eddie, four more days, my love. i can’t wait, and i know you can’t either. it’s gonna be great. thanks for putting up with me for all these years. it’s been fun. i can’t wait to make more memories too. they’re gonna be the funnest ones. as long as you like me back, though. gotta remember that this might ruin our friendship. wow. love, your secret admirer 

letter ten dear eddie, god, i’m really running out of ideas without sounding creepy. guess i’ll just go for it. i’ve been wanting to kiss you since we were young. sure, we’ve kissed before but on the cheek. that’s different. that’s friendly. i don’t want friendly. i want boyfriends. love, your secret admirer 

letter eleven dear eddie, two more days. two more till the big day. the day i hope will go smooth. i’ll probably stammer and say something wrong, but please don’t hate me. please. i just want a good life and future with you whether we’re friends or not. you looked extra cute yesterday by the way <3 love, your secret admirer 

letter twelve  dear eddie, one more letter till the day. this is gonna be awesome. just you n me eddie, on a date. i hope, im so happy it isn’t on a school day. i know you get bullied sometimes. this way, i can give you all of your gifts and stuff and no one will know. i’m okay if you want to keep us a secret. i know you’ve told some people, though. love, your secret admirer 

letter thirteen dear eddie, tomorrow’s the day! are you excited? because i am! well, i’m more nervous. like, really nervous. i’m afraid you’ll reject me. i just wanna be with you, godammit. it’ll happen, i hope. maybe i’m im just as oblivious as you and we both like each other. that’s a possibility. but probably not. i’ve been waiting for this for years. i just hope nothing bad happens or i don’t fuck it up. i’ll see your cute ass tomorrow. i’ll meet you at your house around noon. love, your secret admirer

Eddie.

Eddie blushed like a madman whenever he got one of the letters. He had never expecting to have a secret admirer, or have them write love letters and leave roses. It was sweet, and he was excited to tell the other losers about it. However, he had no clue who it could be.

He’s one of the few openly gay kids at the school, but the other two were already dating each other. So it couldn’t be them. He also guessed that there could be others in the closet, or others that are only out to their friends. The losers were mostly open to just them, but Eddie came out to everyone on the same day. That’s a story for another day, though. He also guessed that it was someone close to him, and had a few classes with him. He never expected it to be any of the losers, let alone Richie Tozier. He should’ve known better, though. Little did he know, Richie was quite infatuated with him. All the losers saw it, and Richie was right. Eddie is an oblivious fuck. He didn’t think twice when Richie called him cute or heldhim or kissed his cheek. It was normal. They had always been like that. Eventually he realized he did like Richie. But Richie didn’t need to know that. Richie always flirted with him, and made jokes and stuff like that. Richie thought Eddie knew, and he grew tired of them just not being together. So he decided to write the letters and tell Eddie his feelings on valentine’s. The perfect plan, right? Right. Richie grew nervous as the day approached. He knew Eddie was excited at the idea of a relationship, but he feared rejection. Eddie seemed so happy when he told them about the letters, he just didn’t want it to end up badly. But it wouldn’t. Feb. 14th

Eddie paced around his room nervously. He had no clue who it was, or how it was going to go. He couldn’t pick out what to wear, or what he’d say. He became frustrated, and ended up taking a short shower. After that he waited. And waited. And waited. Time wasn’t passing quickly for some reason. Everything was slow. To pass time, he decided to sit at his desk and do some homework. His mind was obviously preoccupied, though. He couldn’t focus on anything. He felt like he was going to die from embarrassment and nervousness, but he could handle it. At least he tried to convince himself he could. He decide to try and focus again before he heard something bouncing off his window. He walked over to it slowly, eyes widening when he looked out of it. There stood Richie Tozier with a bouquet of flowers, a giant teddy bear, and a box of chocolates. Eddie quickly grabbed his phone, and checked the time. He couldn’t believe Richie, of all people, was his secret admirer. He should’ve guessed, but he hadn’t given it much thought. His mind was racing at a thousand miles a minute but it was quickly interrupted by Richie shouting, “Hey! Will you let me in? I’m freezing my ass off out here.” Eddie slid his window open. “I’ll let you in through the front door. I don’t think you can get up here with all that stuff.” And with that, Eddie ran downstairs to the front door. He was shaking nervously. This was the guy that liked him. And he liked him back. He took a deep breath, and placed his hand on the door knob. Slowly, he opened it. He was greeted by a grinning Richie with an arms full of presents. Eddie was speechless. No one had ever gone out of their way to write letters or get him gifts. He couldn’t believe that his crush went out of his way to write letters and get him gifts. He couldn’t believe it. Richie’s smile quickly faltered when Eddie said nothing and just stared. “I-I’m sorry… you probably don’t even like me. I knew I did too much..” Eddie panicked. “N-No! I-I like you. I have for a long time too. I’m just… speechless? I can’t believe you went out of your way to do this.” “Really?” he asked, his smile quickly returning. “Since sixth grade.” “So all of this is fine? Dinner too?” “You planned dinner too?” “Um… yeah? I kinda wanted today to be perfect and special.” Eddie grinned. “It’s perfect.” And so was their relationship from that point on.

epilogue six months later “Ever wonder what would’ve happened if you never wrote the letters?” It was a typical hot summer evening. They were laying in bed, limbs practically tangled together. Richie was messing with Eddie’s hair, occasionally peppering his face in kisses. “Yeah. I don’t think we would’ve ever gotten together.” “I don’t think we would’ve either. We’re both gay and dumb.” Richie grinned. “Yeah. Gay and dumb.” They laid like that for a while, not moving albeit them both being sweaty messes in the heat. Richie leaned in, pressed a kiss to Eddie’s cheek before whispering, “I love you Eddie Kaspbrak.” It was a perfect first.

[fullsundh]

Boyfriend! WinWin (AU)

okay so firstly sicheng would be such a perfect boyfriend y’all can fight me on this

honestly i couldn’t see him meeting you for the first time by himself

like he’d either meet you through you being friends with one of the other members

or he would see you somewhere in public but ask yuta to go talk to you first because baby would be SHY

however when yuta finally got friendly with you and introduced sicheng,,,

POOR BOY WOULD BE SO SCARED HE’D TURN BRIGHT RED AND WOULD EVEN MIX UP HIS KOREAN AND CHINESE 

but little does he know that it’s all okay bc you found it adorable :’)

lmao how could u not

so he finally starts to speak correctly but it’s 100% obvious that he’s nervous

and because he’s just a really shy person he’d just sorta awkwardly stand there while you and yuta were having a really in depth conversation

which would make him kinda jealous

bc afterall it was him who spotted you first not yuta

this would also make him a bit frustrated at himself because he just wanted to be as confident as yuta when talking to someone new.

bless this poor bby

so you and yuta would exchange numbers and you’d leave to go do whatever you had to do

and sicheng would just be sulking bc yuta had you’re number when he didn’t.

but yuta knew that sicheng clearly had an interest in you the moment he pointed you out

so being the great friend he is, yuta gave sicheng your number and refused to text you before sicheng.

honestly I can imagine sicheng being really formal to you the first time he messaged you

like mainly because you’re a woman and he’s a cute lil gentleman so ofc he’s gonna be formal

but also because he just didn’t want to come off as weird?????

he would be really conscious about how fast he was replying

once he replied to your message like the second after it came through and then spent the rest of the hour mentally sobbing because he replied too soon

but then another time he didn’t check his phone for a whole three hours because he was at dance practice

once again, he spent the next hour mentally sobbing because he was scared that it seemed like he was ignoring you

when actually the main reason why practice dragged on for so long was bc he kept messing up the moves because all he could think about was you.

y’all someone protect him pls.

you two became a lot closer due to all the texting so you arranged a meet up for just the two of you

and our poor bab was so scared

he literally spent about two hours thinking up all the ways this could go wrong

and then panicking about what he was going to say

he even worried about what he was gonna wear.

tbh winwin would be the type of person to arrive like twenty mins early just incase you thought he was gonna stand you up

baby would never

okay so when you two first started talking to each other on this date (?)

it was hella awkward

but after a short while sicheng really started to open up more and honestly it was so cute

like he’d start rambling about dancing and how much he missed china and how his studies were going

anD THEN HE GOT ALL BLUSHY BC HE REALISED HE WAS TALKING REALLY FAST AND HE WAS RAMBLING AWHH

honestly you already loved him

then he’d start asking you a bunch of questions

but they weren’t like boring ones about school and stuff

he was asking you shit like what you’re fave colour was

and other fun stuff

“Would you rather travel the world but not be able to take any pictures or be able to take pictures on your travels but you can only go to three places?”

“Definitley travel the world but not be able to take any pictures”

“But what if you saw something really cool?”

“I’d want to experience it all in front of me not through a camera lense”

“wOaH”

like you found him adorable for asking such unique things and he’d find you so interesting because of all your answers.

when he said he had to leave to go back to work you was like

:((((((((((((

but then he said that he’d meet you again this week if you wanted

:))))))))))))

These dates continued for about two months before y’all confessed

the reason why it took a while was because sicheng was just toooooo shy to admit his feelings for you

like whenever someone would mention you he’d get all shy and blushy

then he would quickly change the subject bc he knew that if it continued he would go on a twenty minute ramble about how cute you are

and how much he admires you :’)))))

but in the end he would confess by accident

like you and him would be walking past an ice cream place and you would ask him if he wanted to go there

and he would just say something like

“No not yet! I wanna take you there when you’re my girlfriend!”

and you’re just shook then he realises what he’s said.

CUE BLUSHY BABY NOWWW

so that’s how you two confessed and thus your cute ass relationship started.

OKAY SO

at the start sicheng would be kinda awkward about physical contact

but after a short while he would LOVE it!!!

like when you two are at a mall or somewhere crowded he will be holding onto your hand like his life depends on it.

to him, his life really does depend on it because he can’t cope without you :’)

BYE IM SOFT

anyways sicheng absolutely loves holding your hand

he’s the type of boyfriend who just has the bIGGEST smile on his face whenever he’s holding your hand

he just loves the feeling of your hand in his and he just loves to think about how soft and pretty your hands are

like boi has an obsession.

he would also occasionally swing his arm as he’s holding your hand when he’s in a really happy mood

and you’d just look at his happy face as he took in all of his surroundings

then he’d notice that you’re staring and would look down at you

then his smile gets 10x bigger

if that’s even possible

sicheng would also love giving and receiving hugs

although he would usually embrace you instead of hug you because he misses you easily so if it’s been a few days expect a long hug from him.

if you’re ever upset he will tightly wrap his arms around you and sway you two gently to make you relax more.

he will also rest his chin on your head and tell you that he loves you to make you feel safe ;-; 

due to him being a foreigner, sicheng does get homesick sometimes.

times like these you two will have to switch roles almost

like instead of you being the little spoon and him being the big spoon,

you will be the big spoon and cuddle him while he sleeps whenever he’s missing home.

basically just more physical contact than usual whenever he’s feeling alone and misses his family.

okay but out of the whole relationship sicheng’s favourite thing would be when he comes home after a really long day of work

and he’s just really sleepy and worn out

so you lay him in your lap and play with his soft hair as he slowly falls asleep cradled against you :’)))

and then in the morning you wake him up with soft kisses and go make him tea to help him warm up.

Date wise sicheng would take you on a variety of dates because he’d always be worried that you might get bored of the same thing over and over.

his favourite type would be study dates where he would try and teach you chinese ready for when you meet his family.

he loves these dates the most because you sit in his lap while he tries to explain things to you

and it gives him an excuse to talk more about china and what it’s like.

plus he finds your confused and concentrating faces adorable so he always stares at you while you work.

Overall, you mean the world to sicheng.

he loves you with all his heart and he always will <3

honestly the cutest couple ever :’))))))

Y’all I’m sorry if this is really bad and messy ;-; I had a really soft n cute sicheng stan in mind while writing this so i hope she reads this and enjoys it! :)

[disarmingly]

:D

Ah, thank you so much for agreeing to the commission, you made me really happy!

Don’t worry please and take all the time you need! I can be patient if it‘s worth the wait and with your works it definitely is.

To be honest I‘d like it even more if you wouldn‘t explicitly state that they are soulmates - but you can still make it as soulmate-y as you want. I know it‘s pathetic but this way I can tell myself that it‘s a realistic story and that it could also happen in the real world? Ah, please just ignore this I’m stupid for wanting to find someone like that. Don’t let my rambling burden you please.

You can reply however you want, with or without showing my messages, however you feel more comfortable. If you’d rather speak to me directly you can also use this mail address if you want to but if you’d rather talk via tumblr that’s fine as well :)

Could you however do me a great favour please and tell me at least vaguely what amount of money you’d like to get? Because I know that your work and your time and the effort and soul you put into your writing are essentially beyond prize/priceless but I want to give you at least something in return and therefore I’d like to know with what kind of price you’d be ok. So could you please tell me? :) You don’t have to tell me right away, you can think about it a while longer if you want to. But please no saying that your working isn’t good enough to be payed for or anything like that because it obviously IS good enough or else I wouldn’t be willing to pay for it, would I? ;)

Have a good (relaxing, fulfilling, maybe even happy) day

Commission anon

P.S.

Not commission related and probably a bit too personal but; is there anything one could do to make you feel a bit more safe or grounded? You sound awfully lost in your last posts and it pains my soul to think that you might be hurting. So if there’s ANYTHING that might help, that I could do please let me know. And if it’s too much/too personal to ask this or too overwhelming and confusing right now or if makes you uncomfortable then please ignore this and just pretend it was never there.

i can definitely make the soulmate thing very clear. that is a thing i haven’t done before so im interested in it i mean in that it would be a very like…concrete thing rather than my typical kind of implied or proven ways. some combination ^^;; especially for yoonkook / sugakookie im interested in this. i have so many ideas for this sort of longing and finding and completion motifs that im always really into haha ;; it’s like you picked things you already know i like ;; i feel al ittle bad…ah uiojklefsd i will do my best. as for price i um…i mean i have just no meter for the worth of my own things… i was looking around at other fic commissions and there seems to be a range of 15-20 dollars? for like 3k? and then $5 for every additional 1k? but idk if that’s reasonable or just what i’m seeing bc that’s all twitter is showing me squints into the distance…..some people have different base prices than the 15-20 for longfic ranging from like 40-50 but at that point i become really uncomfortable. i know that when i asked someone their opinion they were like blah blah professional writers blah this many words per blah etc…and they weren’t wrong. professional writers do or at least CAN get paid like $100 a day but lol i was like first of all i think i’ve seen people pay for fanart maybe around 80-150? but i think writing is generally harder for people to um… put a monetary unit on. idk. im using that acronym a lot im sorry ;; im just nervous ah. this is one huge clump of babbling ;; i havent actually slept in a few days so like is why im able to answer haha bc my nerves are lowered i guess bc im so…sleepy…b-but i hope that…is a sense of things? at least or if you want i can babble more later…in mail or something ;;

it is selfish of me but the post script makes me feel idk like im always crying a lot lately but that sort of crying that it gives me is kind of hopeful. it’s not so much that i think it’ll be okay like oh it will be okay but that…the crying is like a path to thinking sometimes things are close enough to okay. i always look at how worse people have it. i try to be in perspective no matter how bad it gets for me it cant be so bad because its not like it is for other people in more dire situations. but then i think if someone told me they felt like this i would tell them: everything is relative. i would tell them its okay to be worried or sad because thats the honest feeling….but somehow even knowing this i cant quite do it for myself. i think though a thing like what you tell me, that you care and stuff…ah it’s really… im so stupid haha it’s like too much and just perfect all at once because i guess part of me needs that. but i should do better. to deserve it. im sorry i hope this makes sense. i think this is my last reply of the night but mor e later ihope…

please take care commissions anon<3 and thank youfor thinking im worth…anything. really thank you…/rubs eyes ;_;

[hyungkyun]

okay. okay. first of all, i can't believe you are attacking me like this????? why did u make me see that picture of jh......... with that hair....... and that stupid coat??? denim jacket..... wtf???? but u didn't even stop there. i could've survived that..... u had to put biker jooheon in my head...... what the fuck..... what the fuck. i can't get it out now, thanks a lot, I'm gonna cry myself to sleep tonight. u go die ::::((((( i vow to take revenge [1]

did u see the one i tagged u in this morning :) icb ur bf is so pretty? red lips to match the red beret? wow!! he sure knows what u like :))) cant wait to know ur url so i can actually tag u in stuff and annoy the hell out of u >>:)))

also ????? ur bf saved xmas…..icb he wrote a song for us grinch lonely ppl….thank u mr. lee :-0

Anonymous said:god honestly???? when I saw them live it was incredible??? Like….. i couldn’t believe they were real… they were tHeRE. uhdnjcjdjxjd. they were so nice :(((( it was a great day :( i almost cried tbh….. I’m not even making sense, I’m just rambling like an idiot :/ // “its a cold night and u decided to go to??? the city fair?????? and u buy warm street food bc its?? rly cold” u can’t blame me for this, at this point you’re making urself emo……. I’m not even doing anything….. [2]

FKJFH please i understand the rambling :// i spent this summer watching vids of ppl who went to their concerts and did hi-touch and stuff and i think i cried sfkjsdh i hope to get to see them live someday :( their performances are rly out of this world sigh

and shut h the fukckp ip???? he looked like a bf at a city fair what am i supposed to do…..lie to myself…..maybe i should….itd hurts less………..

Anonymous said:also omgmckcxnx that picture with hyungwon….. thank u god. not to be like this but hyungwon’s forehead is like. there. out there. what a treasure. // you’re so soft for ck’s messy hair, I’d say it’s cute but u attacked me quite viciously earlier so >:( think of ck’s fluffy mushroom hair when he wakes up from ur nap date :( die!!!! —a dying mbb secret santa

hws forehead rly took me by surprise i……..am a fan thank u :0 and his hair looks so good like???? theyre just eating out ck is a mushroom and he??? wow

ICB U SAID THAT DO U REALIZE I WAS IN CLASS WHEN I READ IT WTF SANTA!!!!!!! i kept dissociating for like 7 hours sdkfjhsdkj i h8 u >:(

Anonymous said:jsyk, u might have (forcibly) made me admit I’m jh biased but….. 👀👀 is my other bias rly wonho???? how do u know. i just talked about hw’s beautiful forehead…. we rarely see it…. it really is a blessing :( godbdjsjdjjs I’d never shut up about blond hyungwon ffvdvsssh. or i could talk about kihyun’s grey hair for hours, believe me…. this era he’s been making me want to die… orrrr maybe I’m rly wonho biased :-) his smile makes my entire day tbh… who knows —evil mbb secret santa

this is literally the confirm ure wonho biased tbh :/ but agreed on everything u said…….kihyun tells me to choke every day since dramarama came out ive stopped complaining ://///////

“forcibly” buddy u literally confessed ur love for him i didnt do anything :/

Anonymous said:psssst, ur bf is a nerd :/// mxfansignnotes (.) tumblr (.) com/post/168660027360 —mbb secret santa

:)

u know what id do with my endless energy :) kick his face :) endlessly :)

Anonymous said:d i e twitter (.) com/URIMPACT1996/status/941635423155003392 —u know who it is 🙃

PLEASE STOP do u see…….the mushroom……hes so cute…..so sleepy :( i hope he got to rest :((((((((( do u remember when he went back home and wrote on the fancafe that he ate a lot and then slept like pigs do :( hes a babie :( and same tbh thats why i think we should totally have a nap date? incredible are we meant to be?!

also i h8 u????????? in the first pic his cheeks look so soft i kinda want to cry? and please hes so sleepy im gksddkdkknfkkkngnnnnnnnnnn

Anonymous said:hi, secret santa here. i found out a little while ago about jonghyun’s death and i think maybe my last ask would come off as a little insensitive? i don’t know if you’re a shawol, and even if you aren’t, i think we’re all grieving right now. i know we’re obviously joking when we tell each other to die but i think it is not the right time to say things like that. anyways, you don’t have to post this or anything, i just wanted to apologize somehow :/ i hope you’re okay. take care

of course we’re just joking around but thank you for being so considerate, youre really nice 💗 im not a shawol and i didnt know much about shinee or jonghyun but what happened really saddened me… and knowing that there are so many idols, and so many people in general, going through what he went is incredibly scary to me; just the thought of losing someone so suddenly… i send my love to his family, members and fans, i hope they take care :(