#the prologue was like 'oh this is actually a very silly game! oh there is a plot!' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gaecactae · 2 years

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some info first// HELLO.

What do i even say, I replayed Danganronpa: Goodbye Despair and my brain went ballistic

Um 🧍🏽

this is going to be a VERY long post but I hope anyhow enjoyable for you. For context, I was into Danganronpa a lot, when I decided to actually post my art in the internet! It kinda. Launched me into having more followers. Then it sort of melted, the interest, so I stopped and suddenly it hit me again, two years later!!! So. I decided to do something bigger and wrote a prologue of a fanfic!! I don’t know about the frequency of posting it or anything, for now it is what it is.

It will be called “Taken good care of.” and will be komahina centred:) sorry, I know this ship is kinda overrated and over popular, cliché if you may, but I really like it :(

I won’t tell you too much for now, you’ll see how the prologue goes. What I absolutely have to say is that. English is not my first language and I think it shows real bad?? My grammar sucks and I do write poorly, when it comes to verbs n such. I hope it won’t make your eyes bleed, cause frankly, I just wanna share this!! I used to write a lot for myself usually, but I never actually shared those works anywhere. Not in English at least :)

Okay so having that said, I think I’m gonna jump straight into posting this! Gonna mention straight away and I’ll also put the tags about those warnings: post game spoilers, cancer, ed. If I find anything else or if I forgot anything, I’ll put all my efforts to fill it up immediately! So yeah, enjoy!! 🥰

oh yeah and I made little illustrations along the story! ☺️

{Prologue}Taken good care of.

Upon finding out about the state of the world we were stuck in, there was no other way for us, rather than go back to the island. Given what we have done, we’d rather contain each other, rather than it being done by anyone else. Maybe someday we will- no. Maybe someday the world will be ready to welcome us back again. For now, we could celebrate on our own. Because… After all, we had a reason to, right?

Without having motives and deadly… bear robots constantly giving us reasons to doubt each other, we were all less scared to live on the empty Jabberwock. Although we knew we had a lot of adjusting to do. Unlike the simulation, the islands had no bridges! That meant learning how to travel via motorboats, which Kazuichi managed to put together for us. Except a couple of times my motorboat whipped out (with me onboard), it was easy to learn and before realising it, we began to race each other at bay.

We already knew the power we held as a group. These people became my family quicker than I thought, even if I was never their classmate to begin with. About that…

It was weird to “make amends” with Izuru. It’s not like we fought for who gets to stay; it was more like… just being at peace with myself. Izuru became part of me, peacefully. It felt natural, but still… It was bizarre at some point. Suddenly I was Ultimate… everything! Though no one intended to call me this. Hell, neither did I. Ultimate Hope sounded powerful enough. But suddenly, I was able to help Kazuichi with those boats, when I have never handled a wrench properly before. I managed to guide him, Fuyuhiko, Akane and Sonia to help me wake the others. It would literally take YEARS and at least three ultimates to come up with the emergency plan and learn to execute it properly. Like- surely some Ultimate Neurologist? Analyst? Programmer? I couldn’t get used to the fact that I alone was able to do what these people would have to work over, for a very long time.

Well… I guess it’s the result that counts. When we successfully woke up TeruTeru and Byakuya, Kazuichi called me Ultimate Jesus… I didn’t know if I was more offended or amused by this silly nickname.

Anyhow, our new life on islands started after arriving at Jabberwock. We parked the yacht in the port and left it until it was safe to go back. If ever. For now, it was island time.

We had to do a little cleaning here and there. Improving the environment would surely improve our wellbeing! At least that’s what I thought. Within just a month, the paths on islands were clean again and flowers and trees were in bloom. Sky seemed… a little bluer. As some say, nature was healing. Next step was taking care of the buildings. Some of them looked like they’re rotting; that had to be fixed quickly. Of course a building can’t rot, but you get what I mean.

Sonia took good care of library restoration along with a few helpers and before we knew it, our islands gained a cozy hangout and chill area. It worked the same way with everything else.

‘Honestly, if you wanted, you could fix everything in like, two days dude!’ Kazuichi commented, when I walked him to the electric avenue. I smirked lightly, shaking his head.

‘And that’s exactly why I’m allowing you guys to do it.’

‘That’s some Usami-kinda-shit. You want us to cooperate to tighten our friendships or something?’ My friend continued to joke around, full of life.

‘You could say that! Besides, you were stuck in the capsules for a dangerous amount of time. It’s necessary to shake up your muscles and wake them up a little.’ I shrugged with a simple explanation. Though my words seemed to fly over Kazuichi’s head a little. He began to mumble that it’s weird how muscles have to be stimulated, how bodybuilders’ muscles don’t disappear once built…

‘Well- how do you spend the days anyway??? You were sleeping too!’ He blurted out suddenly, which made me jump a little. Afterwards, I smiled at him.

‘You can call me Ultimate Supervisor for the moment.’ I let out a soft giggle. Kazuichi let out a quiet screech, messing up his cap and hair with his hands as he ruffled himself.

‘I can’t with you man!! I will NEVER get used to this shit.’ He whined at me but quickly shook it off, seeing Mahiru waving to him from a distance; after waving back at her, he turned to me, fixing his attire.

‘Let me guess. That’s where we part ways.’

‘I was gonna say that! Goddamn you, Hajime… yes. That’s where we part ways. There’s a lot of electronics to clean and repair in those stores.’ Kazuichi hummed, glaring at the avenue.

‘I won’t be stopping you… just be careful with the wires.’ I said calmly, waving as my friend was skipping steps to Mahiru and shouting to me, that we will see each other at lunch.

I breathed in and out deeply, turning around and beginning my everyday morning walk. I had to make sure everyone’s efforts were fruitful. That’s how almost every day looked like, for me and.. it started to get very boring. Ever since we woke up, I noticed I’m easily bored. That probably connects to Izuru. I remember brief images from his perspective and his feelings accompanying them; sometimes they creep me in the night. Izuru was bored by everything, because he knew everything. I often wonder, if his brain worked to the fullest? If we’re told we only use 10% of ours…

‘HEY!! Watch it!!’ I heard as my ears perked up immediately, pulling my head up. There were moments when something unexpected happened and my brain could calmly feed on it. This was one of those moments. The noises and raised voices came from the hospital’s side!

I rushed there quickly, worried, what could’ve happened, seeing a scene unfold before my eyes. Akane was pulling up a whole table from Nagito who seemed to be stuck under it. Obviously, the bright smile never disappeared from his face.

‘You’re such a dumbass- I told you all to not touch those tables!’ Akane kept screaming, while Mikan gently pulled Nagito out.

‘My my, I became a burden once again..!’

‘All it took was leaving the biggest table to me, that’s what I was saying from the beginning!’

‘I wonder what biiig luck awaits me after this enormous table falling on me-‘

‘SHUT THE HELL UP!!’

I saw that Akane was ready to throw hands, so I decided to intervene before Nagito’s spine actually breaks.

‘What’s happening? Is everyone okay?’ I asked, interrupting. All three heads turned to me with mixed expressions and eventually, the whole trio smiled at me. Could it be, I also possess the skill of Ultimate Peacemaker? Or maybe… Ultimate Happiness?

…sometimes I feel like I’m going too far.

‘It is now! Nagito could use more hearing sometimes though.’ Akane explained, rubbing the back of her head. Mikan agreed with her, making a small and rather shy nod.

‘T-True.. we were cleaning up t-the on-call room. In-In case we’d need more rooms. Akane told us she will pick up the table that- blocked the majority of the room.’ She added, allowing Akane to continue.

‘And then we saw Nagito carrying it out purely on his own! It’s like 6 times heavier than him! When I pointed it out to him, he lost his balance and collapsed with the table falling right on him!!’

‘It-It’s a miracle his spine is- is whole!’ The girls talked over each other, while Nagito stood on the side calmly, swaying from side to side.

‘Uhm, I don’t recall that… at all. Oh well; it is what it is! I only blame myself, Akane, don’t worry.’ He let out a soft laugh, to which Akane reacted… much.

‘Uh- Duh!? I blame you too!!’ She bounced aggressively at him. I reached out my hands, trying to chill her down.

‘Okay, okay- let’s not fight. Nagito is in one piece, thankfully. Next time he’s going to listen to you more. Is that correct, Nagito?’ I asked, squinting at him. Mr. Happy-go-Lucky nodded a couple of times, rubbing his cheek awkwardly.

‘I will listen to you with every muscle in my ears.’ He promised, putting his hands together. The conflict seemed to have been solved. I was about to walk off, seeing how Akane and Nagito got back to cleaning, before someone stopped me.

‘H-Hajime!-‘ I turned around, only to face Mikan. As usual, she seemed awfully unnerved. Or paranoid.

‘Yes? Can I help you?’ I asked softly, to which the girl looked around, fidgeting with her hands.

‘I… I really would hate to bother you- and I don’t want to at all- so if you’re, by any chance, busy, I will refrain of course-‘

‘I’m completely free, please go on.’ I insisted very calmly. Mikan simply nodded with a nervous matter, swallowing quickly and glared around.

‘Um… is it okay if we… uhm… it’s… complicated…’ she whispered, getting all mixed up, seemingly. I looked at her calmly, before understanding. She wanted to talk in private with me.

‘Hmm.. if it’s this kind of matter, maybe we could go to the café on the second island? Does that sound good?’ I proposed, and Mikan agreed happily and relieved she didn’t have to ask that herself. We waved our goodbyes to Akane and Nagito before finally departing.

When in the empty café, I decided to put my talents in use again and started preparing us coffee, using a professional coffee machine. Calm music was playing from the speakers, while I got tickled by the steam clouds that left the machine, when I foamed up the milk, humming. Mikan watched me carefully; I thought to myself she enjoyed it a lot.

‘Not to flex, but it’s like, the first time I’m making coffee like that.’ I smirked, trying to engage Mikan to talk. The girl tilted her head and smiled awkwardly, eventually giggling quietly.

‘Gosh… it’s… unbelievable. That you have all those talents. It must be such a burden on your shoulders..’ she blurted out, still watching my hands.

‘Burden… I guess. It doesn’t feel that heavy, actually. I’m just bored a lot; my brain doesn’t have too much to chew on.’ I denied softly, placing the cups on their respective plates and carried the coffee to the table.

‘Did you know that 12 cups of coffee with- well- regular dose of caffeine- is most definitely a- a deadly dose?’ To my pleasant surprise, Mikan said something on her own, as she sat down at the table with me. It was a good feeling to see her self-esteem improve. I smiled at the coffee funfact she told me. I knew, obviously, but after all… I’m a well-mannered man.

‘Is that so? That's curious. I can’t imagine drinking this much coffee at once.’ I answered calmly, raising a cup to my lips to take a sip. Mikan did the same thing, letting out a bright hum.

‘I don’t… I don’t really drink coffee. I have a very- very fast b-blood pressure anyway.. though when you’re around, t-the whole world seems to slow down.’ She admitted happily. I took that as a compliment… My friends told me that often. Again, it probably had to do with one of the talents. ‘Nagito is right w-when he refers to y-you as.. as Ultimate Serenity. And.. speaking of Nagito.. I… I wanted to talk about him.’

My happy little sips stopped as soon as Mikan mentioned that Nagito is part of this matter. Hell, maybe even not only the part. Maybe he is the main subject. Or the cause…? I raised my eyes to look at Mikan’s face, setting down my coffee cup and blinking slowly.

‘…alright. Feel free to tell me everything I need to know.’ I spoke gently. I had to do absolutely everything for Mikan to feel comfortable enough to talk… who knows how serious the issue was.

Mikan meanwhile, took another small sip of coffee and put away the cup, setting her hands together, right on her lap, before speaking up.

‘I-I reckon… you- you were.. you seemed close to him…? A-Anyhow… I… I can’t help but- to feel… t-to be concerned about Nagito! H.. His health.’ Mikan explained roughly, gesturing a lot. I listened to what she had to say, tilting my head. At first, I thought Mikan was telling me that Nagito caught a cold or something… until I remembered what happened, when we were in a coma.

‘Right… I talked to Nagito in the simulation. He told me about being diagnosed with.. f.. frontotemporal dementia and lymphoma. But then he backed out and said it was just a lie. I’m not sure if these were lies or no, but that’s what I can tell you. It slipped my mind completely, but since you’re a nurse, you must’ve noticed something. Could you tell me more?’ I asked in a worried tone. Of course I was worried about Nagito… he used to say weird stuff after waking up, but since he was no longer planning any murders, he became more tolerable.

Mikan bit her lower lip, looking away.

‘O-Oh my… I… I had no idea… e-even though I suspected something- no healthy human… could produce white hair… n-not in his age at least! O-Of course old people- and- genetics mess it up sometimes b-but… his hair s-seems to have had a normal c-colour before.’

‘Yup, they’re sort of… light pink mixed with light brown on ends…’

‘B-Besides… that table situation. Um… F-Fuyuhiko… was able to lift that table up with ease, a few days prior. And- he is definitely weaker… than Nagito. L-lighter too… Nagito should be able to c-carry it out with ease.. m-meanwhile he.. was sweating profusely. As if he was… very laboured from lifting it.’

Hm.. that was new. I remembered Nagito having a lot of energy and strength. But… These memories were from the program again. Not only our avatars were our younger selves; it was all just a simulation and played in our minds and a fake environment.

‘H-Hajime…? I… I hate to bother you with this, b-but- if you could.. take a look at Nagito for me? I- I just- I need to confirm my worries!- O-Only if you- you don’t have to of course!-‘ Mikan got nervous again, stomping her feet against the floor. I coughed quietly, sitting up straight and smiled at Mikan calmly.

‘Calm down, please. Of course I will check him out. You did well, informing me about it, thank you.’ I answered her, making sure she was praised generously. Truthfully, her observations were absolutely crucial. I was so focused with all matters regarding islands and their restoration after The Tragedy, that I forgot about checking up on my friends. And if one of them was in danger… I had to ensure their safety.

When the Sun finally settled, I decided to go for a small, not at all suspicious walk on the beach. I was originally heading to my motorboat though. In our simulation, the second island contained some sort of ancient ruins, overgrown by plants and when we left, the building looked similar to the ruins - but modern. At the moment, we use it as our archive, not only collecting the past, but also preserving the current times. For the future.

The goal of my visit to the archive was obvious! I had to collect Nagito’s documents. Especially medical record, for Mikan to go through. I could read it too obviously, but truth be told… I wanted them all to still feel useful and needed, even in my presence. I thought it was the obvious reason why I allowed them all to work on their own and I hoped it was appreciated by them. At least a little.

I hopped on the motorboat and swam away from the main island. Eventually I looked behind to notice dim lights of the cottages in the hotel. Eventually, most of them went out, meaning everyone went to sleep. I couldn’t help but smile at that. That… had to be the peace we all dreamed of.

‘We’ve made it. I’m so sorry you can’t see it.’ I whispered, raising my head to stare at the night sky, filled with sparkling stars. Chiaki… I missed her deeply. Her death made everyone fall in complete despair and even Izuru himself cried over her body. And it hurt my heart that she couldn’t be there to experience the peace we all achieved. She would probably… chill on the beach or dig herself in the blankets Sonia put in the library to cozy it up. Hm… I can’t be right. She does see that all. I bet she’s sitting in the stars. She smiles at every act of kindness, laughs at every little argument… She's okay.

I shook my head gently, remembering my original task and pressed gas, starting to swim through the bay again. I couldn’t help those short episodes I had… When it’s so quiet at night, brain thinks more than usual.

Eventually I made it to the archive and picked up the documents. When I stood there in complete darkness, with one flashlight in my hand, I smiled to myself, continuing to think how much I actually changed.

‘See, thanks to you, I know it’s illogical for something to stand behind me in the darkness..’ I hummed to myself. Well, partly to myself, partly to Izuru. I used to be horribly paranoid in darkness, but now? Whenever I thought of something that scared me… my Ultimate Logic activates and fear goes away, like that! Unbelievable.

I guess I had to call it a day. That, I thought to myself when I was on my way back. Noticing all the lights went out in the hotel, I knew I had to be very quiet when going back to my cottage…

I peeked at Nagito’s documents, starting to wonder if that was even legal to do? I took the private records… no. Nagito might’ve been in danger and I couldn’t allow anything bad to happen to him. That’s what I promised to Chiaki. And myself, after we woke everyone up. That I will protect them with all my power..

I wondered if something such as Ultimate Leader existed on the list of talents I possess, because… I sure felt like one.

#danganronpa #danganronpa goodbye despair #komahina #danganronpa komahina #danganronpa spoilers #tw swears #tw spoilers #tw cancer #tw eating issues #tw health issues

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thoughts-about-robots · 7 months

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Thoughts About the Second Hour

Yesterday I finally finished up my play-through of the Switch version and yes I cried during the very final cutscene lol

But then I went back to my new PS4 save and continued on...

Here we are starting to get into the longer prologues... I was able to blast through three of them + tutorial battles in the first hour, here we slow down a little

I'm not sure why exactly the English localization was unable to use H.G. Wells's name in-game but the whole "that one author" thing is awkward as hell, especially with the JP voice track on. when I said in my last thoughts post that the localization was dodgy, well... this is kinda what I mean lmao. I figure this is some copyright-based limitation but it's still silly, especially when the allusions to The War of the Worlds are so explicit otherwise

that said I find it interesting that the world of 13 Sentinels has stand-in fake names for movies from our own, but The War of the Worlds (and its author) is explicitly name-dropped. I just find this interesting because you know what movies they're "not" talking about otherwise (Godzilla, E.T., Terminator, etc.). this may perhaps be due to something we find out later

I love Minami, honestly... this game has really great female characters. I think most of the guys are actually kinda boring (their scenarios are much more interesting than they themselves are, let's put it that way) but the girls are all *chef's kiss*

I also love BJ... you can tell, after he gets oriented, that he thinks Minami is kind of A LOT

I was playing this and going through the last part of Minami's prologue thinking, wow I just love all of this... honestly the end with the Hi-Quads looming in the background (and the one suddenly standing up to look at her on the ridge) is one of the best moments of the early game

this isn't the first time Lonely Struggle is played but I really love this track and its use here... the whole soundtrack is pretty great but sometimes it's easy to forget it's a game soundtrack. Lonely Struggle in particular sounds like it came straight out of a Godzilla movie

Ogata showed up before in Hijiyama's prologue and I didn't like him there, either lmao

finally getting to the battle tutorial section... out of all the sentinels, the 2nd gen and 3rd gen are the ones where I'm reminded, oh yeah, these things are basically walking tanks. 3rd gen in particular are slow as fuck for most of the main campaign

I'll talk about Miura more when I get to his prologue but I think he is actually one of the better-written guys in the game... out of all of the boys I think he has the most nuance, unfortunately on the surface he's kinda boring lmao

another blink and you'll miss it bit of foreshadowing: "this was his last gift to me"

then we get to Yakushiji's prologue, which has to be my favorite in the entire game... all the scenes are really well put-together and memorable, from Kurabe showing up in the sentinel right up to the "contract" scene with Fluffy

another thing we are shown very casually: Kisaragi comes from the same "time" as Yakushiji

I remember this being the first part of the game where I was really truly disoriented... you go from 2024 (hmm) to 1985 (hmmmm) with a flashback to 2025 (hmmmmmm) and I was like wow there's just something kinda cray cray about this. the time traveling seemed very significant when it was shown in Hijiyama's and Minami's prologues but here it's happened so casually and without comment lmao so when the talking cat shows up it doesn't even seem that weird tbqh

when I said the game doesn't spoon feed you information, this is all what I'm kind of talking about... you already got shown that there's something up with Kurabe in his prologue (the documents in Morimura's office), but here we find out three things: he's a time traveler (and from very, very far into the future), he actually was Juro Izumi, and he's suffering memory loss. Kisaragi is also from Yakushiji's time period but we know she's also in 1985 at the same time, as shown in Fuyusaka's prologue. time travel was introduced in Hijiyama's prologue and now everyone can apparently do it lmao. the game does eventually provide explanations for all this but the explanations are usually only stated once and never brought up again

I love the scene with Fluffy, he's honestly a great character. once you know who he actually is all of this is very funny and also note that he never once lies to Yakushiji lmao

do note that no matter what you pick during the "choice" Yakushiji actually refuses to make a contract with Fluffy... she either sarcastically "accepts" or just straight up says no

two great pieces of music play in this prologue, Impending Doom (which was first played in Kurabe's prologue) and A Clause with Claws, one of my favorite tracks in the story sections

finally, the battle segment... we're introduced to sentinel recovery here but during my first play through, I never used it. I forgot it was even a thing to be quite honest until I was browsing YT comment sections and someone mentioned how they almost got a game over in one part of the game... and I was like "oh yeah :o"

I don't like Ogata but I do think he and Kisaragi are a good couple lmao

little tangent: if I ever harp on about how I forgot some significant detail in the tutorial section it's because... the second time I picked this up I believe I played up to a certain point and then put it down for a couple weeks . as much as I love this game, for me it didn't really pick up until a certain series of events several hours into it. the early game is equal parts entertaining, confusing, and honestly kinda boring (which is why I didn't zip through it when it launched, and even back in 2020 I only got about 8 hours into it before I stopped playing). but on a repeat play through you can see just how tight and well-written the narrative actually is. it's just the game is really really invested in getting you to think it's about one thing when it's actually about something else entirely :v

Miscellanea:

I really love the little drone icon on BJ's projected screen.... bless

#october play through

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baoshan-sanren · 4 years

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Chapter 14

of the wwx emperor au that’s now more like the terrible horrible time the Lan Sect is having ugh

It does not take long to leave the noise of the disciples and their game behind them.

The path around the mountain is wide, and appears to have been well tended throughout the warmer months. Still, the evidence of the recent autumn storms is everywhere, frequently forcing them to detour around fallen branches and uprooted brush.

The first time Nie MingJue offers him a hand in assistance, XiChen nearly trips over nothing but his own feet. Although they hardly come upon any obstacles that require such attention, XiChen accepts each time, and each time the anticipation of the next seems to grow.

XiChen’s hands are not soft by any means. His calluses are not only present on the areas so frequently affected by sword practice, but years of playing the guqin have hardened his fingers as well. They are not hands that must be treated with care, yet Nie MingJue does, his grip light and gentle. Each time, the warmth of his palm inevitably travels to XiChen’s face, and XiChen very much hopes that the color in his cheeks can be ascribed the cold mountain breeze instead.

“How do you like the Peach Blossom Pavilion?” Nie MingJue says, and XiChen finds himself surprised by the question.

For all the insinuations the Royal Companion had made about Madam Yu being attentive to their accommodations, at no point has anyone actually inquired after their comfort. XiChen is fairly certain that most of the guests are unaware of the Lan Sect’s current residence in the Immortal Mountain City.

It is logical, that the General of the Emperor’s army would keep a close track of everyone’s accommodations, and express some interest in the matter. Still, XiChen so rarely considers his own comfort, that it takes him a few moments to formulate a response.

“It is peaceful,” he says finally, “I like it very much.”

It is far removed from the palaces usually occupied by distinguished guests. It is also small, and does not require a sea of servants to maintain. These are all welcome things to the Lan Sect, who do not want to be in close proximity to the others, and place great value in peace and silence. However, XiChen does not know how to voice any of those benefits without making them sound like grievances.

“It is one of the oldest structures in the Immortal Mountain City,” Nie MingJue says, “do you know the story behind the name?”

“Only that the Empress Immortal had settled there upon first arriving to the Immortal Mountain.”

Nie MingJue nods, and helps XiChen navigate two crude stone steps, worn down by centuries of wind and rain. The path evens out again, but the incline is now noticeable. The air is so rich here, that XiChen can almost taste the coolness of it on his tongue.

“At the time, the Empress Immortal was only a rogue cultivator,” Nie MingJue says, “A capable one, but not yet renown enough to form an Empire. It is said that she could feel the inherent power of the Immortal Mountain, and had chosen to settle here precisely for this reason. I, however, am more inclined to think that she was simply searching for some peace and silence.”

The words are followed by a small smile in XiChen’s direction, and XiChen cannot help but smile back.

“The Peach Blossom Pavilion is named for the peach tree that grew in its place. The legend states that the Empress Immortal spent her first night underneath this tree, and that the tree bore fruit the next morning to provide her with nourishment.”

This part of the story is unfamiliar to XiChen, and he listens attentively, wondering where it could possibly lead.

“She built her first home next to that same peach tree, and when the autumn storms took it down, her second and her third. Although she still traveled far and wide, the Immortal Mountain became a place she considered her own, a shelter from the rest of the world.”

Ahead, a small pile of rocks obstructs their way. Larger boulders had dislodged at one point, but the majority of them had rolled past the path itself, crumbling into the fissure below. Still, when Nie MingJue offers his hand, XiChen takes it.

“Eventually, the peach tree died. Most commonly it is said that the Immortal Empress was gone too long, and found it already withered on her return. Some prefer to think that a storm had uprooted the tree, a lesson on the inconsistency of all living things when faced with the might of Heavens. Others say that enemies of the Immortal Empress destroyed it on purpose. The details vary from one region to another.”

At one point, Nie MingJue’s fingers had tightened around his own, and now, XiChen cannot seem to shake the tingling sensation that envelops his hand from fingertips to his wrist.

“The story is always clear on the aftermath, however. The Empress Immortal was still young, and already extremely advanced in cultivation. She had not yet learned that spiritual power has its limits, and that the natural progression of life cannot be altered without consequences.”

The path is steadily rising now, curving more sharply around the mountain face, the trees growing scarce.

“She was determined to have her peach tree. In order to accomplish this, she sunk all of her power into the mountain soil. She exerted herself to such an extent that her death should have been the outcome. And although she lived, nearly half a century would pass before her spiritual power recovered.”

The next curve stops XiChen in his tracks.

The mountain face is steep here, but not so steep that it cannot support growth. A field of grass and wildflowers stretches in front of his eyes, waving in the mountain wind. And in the middle of this field, dozens of peach trees stand tall, each one in full bloom.

They are beautiful. The color of their blossoms is so vivid, it seems painted on with a heavy hand, the innermost flowers so dark, that they resemble droplets of blood. The breeze easily snatches their petals, carpeting the field in an ocean of pink and white.

They are lovely, and yet, the longer XiChen watches them, the more unsettled he feels. It takes him a few moments to pinpoint the source of his unease, and then it is so obvious that he feels foolish.

It is late autumn. No peach trees bloom in autumn.

“They bloom all year long,” Nie MingJue says, “They never age, and they never bear fruit.”

“Oh,” XiChen says, more of a breath than a word, and easily lost in the wind.

They are not real.

There are so many wondrous things one can accomplish with spiritual power, but no amount of skill or strength is capable of creation. Spiritual power cannot turn back death, and it cannot give birth to new life.

XiChen remembers this lesson so clearly, that for an instant, he is back in the Library Pavilion at Cloud Recesses, hearing his uncle’s calm voice, smelling the gardenias growing by the pavilion windows.

All things are born, and all things must die. Even the greatest cultivators in the world, those who reach immortality, will one day be nothing but bones and dust in the earth, their last purpose to nourish new life. He had committed the lesson to memory then, but he does not think that he fully understood it until this very moment, faced with a dozen blooming peach trees in the late autumn.

Frozen in a moment, forever unchanging. Beautiful to see, but lacking everything that makes them truly alive.

A deep, inexplicable sorrow envelops him, and he feels his breath stutter in his chest.

“I have upset you,” Nie MingJue says, voice heavy with concern, “Forgive me. That was not my intention.”

“No, I--“

XiChen does not know how to explain himself. His happiness or melancholy are so rarely addressed in words, that he does not possess the vocabulary necessary to speak of them.

“I am not upset, I am only-- sad for them, I suppose.”

He cannot meet Nie MingJue’s eyes. He feels silly, and wonders if the man thinks him ridiculous.

“You must think me foolish.”

“I do not,” Nie MingJue says.

He sounds upset at the implication, but whatever other words he may have to say never come.

There is an unexpected noise behind them, a sound of many boots traveling the same path. XiChen turns to find a dozen men in the uniforms of the Imperial Guard.

The man leading them, a tall youth XiChen does not remember meeting before, bows to Nie MingJue and addresses him directly.

“General Nie, forgive me. I have been ordered to take Young Master Lan into custody, and escort him to the Jade Sword Palace.”

XiChen feels every part of his body turn numb at the words.

“Into custody?” Nie MingJue says, “For what reason?”

“For the attempted murder of the HeJian Fan Sect Leader.”

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rivalsforlife · 3 years

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Additional, what's your thoughts on AA6, then?

Oooh okay I know that AA6 is generally better received than AA5, but I didn’t really like that game much either, for somewhat similar reasons why I didn’t like AA5?

Like not only did it abandon most of the plot threads of AA5 -- which they have even less of an excuse for, since this game came out three years after DD and on the same console -- but it had a similar problem that DD had involving pushing back major characters. Namely, Athena, who was kind of hyped up in DD as someone who was going to “revolutionize” the courtroom, but then barely had a major role in SOJ aside from the fourth case (which only had the one trial day and no investigation time, and was completely disconnected with the plot.) And yeah juggling three protagonists at the same time is a bad move, but if you had to pick a protagonist to give a smaller role... I would not pick Athena.

I guess the thing about Spirit of Justice is that it’s an Apollo game which tries to be a Phoenix game. I can’t really see any reason for Phoenix to go to Khura’in and stay there. Sure, he wants to hang out with Maya, who he hasn’t seen in a few years -- but she was supposed to come back in a couple of weeks. Also, and this is one of my bigger issues, one of the biggest shows his daughter was ever going to perform would be in the time he was gone, but he didn’t seem to particularly care about missing it. And, and, and! He didn’t even get to SEE Maya for two weeks after he arrived! So why go that early?

I know the semi-canon prologue kiiind of touched on that with Phoenix thinking Maya was in danger, and I can definitely see him rushing over there if he thought she’d been hurt and/or accused of murder somehow. But... the prologue isn’t really CANON canon, it’s not ever stated explicitly or shown in the game. Instead the game just has him say he was worried about Maya for no particular reason, so he... abandoned his daughter just before her big show... and then didn’t even go back after she was accused of murder? I know that he couldn’t have made it back in time for the trial, but he didn’t even go back to comfort her? For two weeks? Where he was in Khura’in and couldn’t even see Maya?

It just strikes me as a “we need Phoenix to be in Khura’in for Plot Reasons and not because it’s something his character would ever actually do” kind of thing. And, you know, there is that one interview where they say that Phoenix had to be in Khura’in because they needed to “challenge” him more, but this isn’t really much of a challenge. “He needs to win otherwise he’ll die”??? Big deal, we all already KNOW Phoenix would die to defend his friends! We’ve played Bridge to the Turnabout and seen him run across the burning bridge because he thought Maya was trapped with a murderer. Like, the stakes aren’t that much higher. Phoenix wouldn’t let something silly like death get in the way of doing what was right. That one concept about an “underground court” where Phoenix couldn’t trust his clients was a MUCH more interesting concept because it actually challenges one of Phoenix’s core beliefs. Instead, I can’t say that Phoenix has grown or changed at ALL before and after Khura’in.

And aside from Maya Being There and a general intolerance for injustice, Phoenix has no personal stakes in the general conflict of Khura’in. You know who apparently does? Apollo. But his connection to Khura’in isn’t even really explored until the last case, where they shove all of the Dhurke and Nahyuta development in at once. Of course, his beloved childhood friend he was so distraught over in the last game isn’t ever really mentioned, nor does his loss seem to have any long-term effect on Apollo beyond DD.

And speaking of Dhurke and Nahyuta... another issue I had with Turnabout Revolution is that it was trying to do SO MUCH that it didn’t give much focus. Also the severe delaying of Nahyuta’s character arc: he’s pretty much in Second-Case Prosecutor Mode until the very last case, where we only see him for the last part of it. It makes his development feel a little rushed, I think -- it’s been a while since I played SOJ though, so take that with a grain of salt.

Also I want to say that I really love Maya and I’m glad to see that she’s okay, but it doesn’t feel like she had a huge role in SOJ despite the game pretty much existing to bring her back in a big way. She comes back, and she’s still not the Master, inexplicably, despite it having been nine years since T&T. The game says it was because she could only channel spirits 30% of the time or something before, but... that never really came up past Turnabout Goodbyes? After that she’d pretty much always been able to channel whoever, whenever she needed to (including channeling Dahlia for several days) so I don’t really buy that excuse. My fear is they didn’t want to risk changing Maya Too Much so they just kind of tried to keep her as close to original Maya as possible. Plus, she only shows up for two of the five cases, in which she spends almost all of her time accused of murder, kidnapped, or channeling someone. And all of her important interactions are with Phoenix, or sometimes Rayfa, and like maybe an offhand comment to Apollo? But she doesn’t ever bond with Apollo or Athena or even Trucy -- she and Trucy never even ACKNOWLEDGE each other, which is SO weird, because this is her best friend’s daughter, why is she acting like she doesn’t even know her?

There’s more with Trucy -- the game tries to claim Trucy has a bigger role because she’s accused of murder, but the entirety of that case irritates me for how it completely disregards previously-established Gramarye lore to add in This Random Dude (who does have an awesome theme song, but still), and then perfectly sets up the opportunity for a sibling reveal only to completely ignore it. (You’ve got a guy who knew Thalassa and should have known about her perceiving power + bracelet, and has a huge complex about being defeated by a Gramarye, coming face-to-face with Apollo with his perceiving power and bracelet and... nothing! Not even acknowledging it!)

oh and the civil trial. the civil. freaking. trial. is SUCH a cool concept that they ABSOLUTELY fail to make work. Because instead of it being about Phoenix’s ideals failing him, or him believing in his client until the very end but his client just turned out to be a terrible person, it was yet another Farewell, My Turnabout but worse, with Phoenix only defending this guy because Maya’s kidnapped again... and he learned absolutely nothing from last time, where the only reason he got through the trial safely was by trusting Miles and teaming up with the other side to delay the trial for a rescue, instead he just decides I’m Not Telling Apollo Anything and struggles like he did in the second game. Plus it takes any victory of Apollo triumphing over Phoenix away, because Phoenix wasn’t actually trying his best. It had the opportunity to be an exploration of “what would Phoenix do if his trust in people actually went wrong”, but they abandoned it because Phoenix Wright Is Never Wrong. Instead it was just so weak!

Wow this is ALL OVER THE PLACE I’m sorry about that anon. ending with a bit of positivity, I really like that Final Big Twist at the end of the game, I think that was a super cool use of spirit channeling! And getting a little more spirit channeling lore was nice (though I would have liked to see more about the structure of Kurain Village -- you expect me to believe this random dude has a major role as the mayor of what has always been described as a matriarchal village?) I guess my main issue is... a lot of potential for cool things (in the civil trial, in Maya getting to know and bonding with the New Generation, sibling reveals and spirit channeling lore) and it doesn’t really deliver on most of it.

#soj spoilers #spirit of justice spoilers #aa6 spoilers #I'm completely exhausted right now but I hope this is slightly legible #long post #asks

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delicatelyherdreams · 4 years

Text

Pragma(tic) 1: Her Morning Takes a Turn

Pairing: Persephone!Bucky Barnes x Hades!Reader

Summary: In a world where the old gods never truly died, you must learn to navigate your way through the ups and downs of immortality. And if living forever wasn’t hard enough, an ancient evil is now threatening to break free after centuries of silence. And as if that still wasn’t hard enough for you, now a pesky and infuriatingly handsome god is trying to wedge his way into your life. Gods, work, love, and conflict—what more could a goddess need? [Hades & Persephone AU]

Word Count: 6217

Warnings: Language

Pragma(tic) Masterlist

Previous Prologue: The Gods Live

The sun was golden against your skin, filling it with warmth and color you rarely ever got. Birds chirped, filling the air with song, and people chatted warmly all around you. You could hear laughter, squealing, sounds of joy and happiness. It was so different from what you were used to.

You exhaled sharply as you opened your eyes, turning your head on a swivel to observe your surroundings.

The open-aired cafe was nestled in a quaint corner of Olympus. Minor gods occupied the tables around you, some accompanied by nymphs or other sprites, others by children, and others still alone. No matter their social situation, everyone looked happy and content. Small children ran between the tables, playing tag and laughing, while their mothers talked and chatted over brunch. You recognized some of the gods and goddesses around.

Peter, a dryad, was at a table with some of his friends. They were all crowded around a phone and laughing to themselves. They seemed to be watching a funny video. If you had to guess, it was probably a silly trend or meme from the Mortal World.

Hope, the goddess of victory, was chatting with her friend Scott, the god of the home and hearth. Both of them had a sandwich and a cup of coffee straight from the Mortal World in front of them, though the food was almost completely forgotten as they talked to each other, deeply engrossed in their conversation.

Small children, nymphs and naiads, ran between the tables in games of tag, squealing as one was dubbed “it” and began to chase the others. They laughed with childish ecstasy, displaying the joy they had in abundance.

The whole area was just alive and warm. It was so foreign to you, but you had to admit that you didn’t mind it.

The sound of bickering voices drew you from your observations, and you turned your head to the two women before you.

The blonde, your beloved youngest sister, goddess of the sky and queen of the gods, Carol, was sitting up straight, her shoulders rolled back proudly. She had a smug smile on her face; she was obviously winning the argument—something about a dress she said she was going to wear to the Winter Solstice Gala that was coming up in a few months.

The redhead, your younger sister and goddess of the sea, Natasha, was a little more agitated, though it was a sort of playful frustration. She was hunched over with her eyes narrowed at her sister as she insisted, “Carol, that’s my dress.”

Carol shook her head, her smile only widening. “No, it’s mine. I bought it from a noble lady in London. I remember it as clear as if it was a century ago.”

Nat arched an eyebrow, her lips curling down in a sour frown. “Are you sure you remember it correctly? I could’ve sworn that I bought that dress a couple centuries ago. No, I know I bought it from Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine in 1160.”

You scrunched up your nose. Twelfth-century English fashion? Definitely not your cup of tea. But you remembered the dress vividly. It was a green thing that really complimented Nat’s eyes and hair but with a style that did not meet your preferences.

Your sisters continued to argue about whose dress it was.

You, meanwhile, watched them with amused eyes, shaking your head as they bickered. Your sisters were always ones to fight constantly, though it was always in good nature. They argued about the silliest things that happened millennia ago—who a goat sacrifice was meant for, who got the sea and who got the sky, who got to be the patron goddess of this city-state or that one—and now, they argued about whose clothes were whose. It was comforting to see that some things never changed over the centuries. Every brunch consistently ended with them bickering over the smallest things. Their sandwiches and mugs of their favorite coffees were long forgotten as they got into it. You’d learned to live with it and just let them duke it out; so long as they didn’t actually kill anyone that is.

But listening to them bicker eventually grew boring and tedious and you’d had enough. You groaned and leaned back in your chair, shrugging off your black blazer which had grown sweltering hot in the sun as you went. Now just in a dark grey tank top, your pleated black pants, and a pair of black flats, you felt much cooler and were ready to end the arguing and your misery. “Come on, both of you,” you called, cutting them off.

They paused their argument and turned towards you, their gazes questioning and demanding as to why you had interrupted them.

You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes. “Are you kidding me right now? Guys, this is like the only time I can see you for the next month and you want to fight about something stupid and childish?” You grinned at them, your eyes sparkling with a teasing glint. “I wonder why I let you two pretend to be older when you’re so damn immature.”

Carol gasped with mock offense. “You’re only older than us by a decade or two.”

“A decade or two is all it takes, my dear youngest sister. Don’t let the power of your queenship go to your head; I’ll always have sibling superiority over you. And, as the eldest, I say no more bickering.”

“But—”

“It’s Nat’s dress. She did buy it from the queen. There, argument over and you can stop bickering now.”

Nat laughed with an elated “Ha!”

Carol huffed, the breath from her mouth ruffling the hair that framed her face, and gave you an exasperated smile. “Fine, it’s Nat’s. I’ll give it back. We’ll stop bickering. What do you want to talk about since you’re so opposed to hearing our arguing?”

You simply shrugged. Ninety percent of the time you were cool with any topic of conversation, even if it meant listening to their banter, but not today.

It was one of the few times you dared to venture out of your realm. Being the Queen of the Underworld gave you little to no time to leave. There were always so many things to do and duties to attend to that you rarely made it out for brunch with your sisters on Olympus. Occasions like this were supposed to be a time for you three to catch up, gossip, and bond, not to bicker endlessly about pointless things.

“I’m honestly not sure,” you admitted.

Carol opened her mouth to respond, probably with a snarky remark about how you ought to know what you want to talk about before interrupting an already started conversation, but Natasha beat her to the punch.

“Hey, how’s Mom doing?” she asked, her eyes curious and her posture hunched in to listen. “You saw her last weekend, right? She doing well?”

You nodded, a fond smile pulling at your lips. Out of all your siblings, you were probably the closest to your mother, Rhea. She made a trip downstairs to see you almost every weekend for brunch and to catch up. You’d say she liked coming down so often because it was out of the way and far quieter and calmer than either the Mortal World or Olympus, but you knew it was because she loved your dog. “She’s doing fine.”

Carol leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on the table, suddenly very interested in this new topic of conversation. As the youngest of you three, she probably had the least amount of time with your mother. But, then again, she was the only one who didn’t get digested and got to see Mom the most in the early years. “Is she still working in that mortal hospital?” Carol asked.

You nodded. “Still in the labor ward. She’s the ‘best labor and delivery nurse they’ve ever had’ last I heard.”

“Well of course she is. She is the titaness of motherhood and ease, among other things,” Nat remarked. She shook her head. “I just wish she’d spend more time up here rather than with the mortals.”

“You know that some of the gods don’t like her,” you murmured. “She’s a titan. They don’t trust her. She’d rather be among the mortals who don’t know her for who she is and help them out.” You shrugged. “Anyways, Carol, how’re your queenly duties going?” You wanted to change the topic away from your mother. While you loved talking to her, it was always weird talking about her with your sisters. They didn’t know her like you did; they didn’t know her in the beginning.

Carol hummed. “Oh, you know, they’re going fine. I have to deal with people’s shit all day every day. You’d think that we gods, being as old as we are, would’ve already worked out our problems by now. I mean, Wanda and Pietro still bicker about who’s the better archer, Loki still plays rude pranks, I can barely keep the newer gods in line. I swear, once they find out they’re immortal, it’s a shit-show. They take on the most daring dares and wreak havoc on the Mortal World any chance they get. I know they don’t always mean to be a pain in my ass, but it happens. Oh! But did you hear? The Muses are planning a concert. They’ve got music from…”

And that was about the point when you tuned her out. You didn’t always care about what responsibilities came with ruling Olympus, but you did enjoy seeing her getting excited about the things in her life. She might’ve been a queen, but she was still your baby sister.

As Carol continued to rant and rave about the concert, you failed to notice Natasha sliding her chair closer to you until she was right on top of you.

“So, (y/n).”

You jumped in your seat. She’d snuck up on you, quiet as the gentle sea she ruled over. You glanced sideways at her, your lips curling back in a sneer. You knew that look on her face and you didn’t like it one bit. “Nat… Don’t you even think about it.”

Natasha smirked, her outward expression cool and collected, but her green eyes roaring like waves on a stormy night with devious plans. “Oh? Think about what, my dearest sister?” Her voice was sickly sweet and practically dripping with honey.

You narrowed your eyes, your heart dropping in your chest as it steeled itself against what was coming. “You look like you’re trying to play matchmaker and thinking about setting me up with someone again,” you spat. “Well my answer is what it’s been for the past two thousand years: no.”

Carol had stopped talking about the Muses and was now looking at you with pitiful and sad eyes. “(y/n)...”

“Don’t ‘(y/n)’ me, Care. I’ve told you time and time again, I’m fine. I don’t need to go out on a date, I don’t need a boyfriend or a girlfriend, I’m perfectly happy alone.” You didn’t need any of the trouble that came with a steady relationship. You’d had your fill of that over the years. Hands running down your body, lips kissing your mouth, flesh pressed against flesh… You shuddered.

“We know,” Nat said as she tried to placate you, “and we admire you for your strength. ‘You’re a strong independent woman who don’t need no man’ and all, but we think it might be good for you to go out and try to meet someone. That way you wouldn’t have to be so alone down in the Underworld.”

You frowned. “But I’m not alone down there. I have Cerber—”

“Cerberus,” they finished in unison.

“We know,” Natasha continued. “But we think you’d benefit from some human contact once in a while. We know you still see Mom, and that Clint and Pierce visit you on their errands, but most of the time… You’re all alone down there and we just think you’d be happier if you had someone. I know I’d have already lost my mind underwater if I didn’t have Bruce to keep me company, and Carol wouldn’t be able to stay sane if Maria wasn’t with her.”

Carol nodded in silent agreement, her eyes pleading. “We just want what’s best for you.”

“What’s best for me?” You could feel small bits of agitation rising up in you as you stared them down. The world began to tint red in your sight.

Natasha bit at her lip as she stared you down. “(y/n),” she said, her voice taut and stiff with caution. “Your eyes.”

You turned towards her.

Her body was rigid and alert, almost as if she was preparing to defend herself. She only took that stance when something made her nervous.

And that something was you.

You sighed and mumbled, “Sorry,” before closing your eyes and taking a deep breath in through your nose.

In, out. In, out. In, out.

When you opened your eyes again, the world had returned to its normal color and you were a little calmer. “Sorry,” you mumbled, your head dipping down in a nod. You heaved a sigh and pursed your lips. “Guys, look, I really appreciate you thinking about me and my happiness, but seriously, butt out of my love life. I don't need anybody; I’m perfectly capable of ruling the Underworld on my own.” You shifted in your seat and averted your eyes. “Besides, I don’t think anyone could really handle me right now.” Also, you had the feeling that no one could give you the long-lasting love you craved.

Both your sisters went quiet, their eyes downcast and solemn.

You couldn’t help but feel bad for telling them off again. You knew that they just wanted what was best for you, but at the same time, you knew yourself better than anyone. You knew you didn’t need to be set up and that, when you were ready, you’d find someone yourself.

You cleared your throat and began to pull your blazer back on. “I should probably get going now,” you said, grabbing a black handbag that was sitting beside your chair and pulling the strap onto your shoulder. “Lots of things to attend to down under. It’s time for the weekly check on Tartarus.” You inhaled sharply and rolled your eyes, hoping to convey a feeling of exasperation to them. You had no intention of letting them know that you were over godly contact and ready to go home to peace and solitude.

Natasha chuckled. “I don’t know why you don’t send Pierce to do it. He’s capable.”

“Yeah, he’s capable, but you know how persuasive our father can be if he gets into somebody’s head. And, although Alexander is a great god of death, I don’t necessarily trust his mental strength against him. It’s just best if I do it. I know his tricks, I know his lies, I know how to resist him.” You gave your sisters a small smile. “Take care, you two. Tell Maria and Bruce I said ‘hi,’ and don’t go burning down the world before our next brunch. The Underworld is full enough; we don’t need any early arrivals.” You stood up and pushed in your chair.

Carol stood up and made quick strides across the table to your side. With one fluid motion, she reached for you, grabbed your wrist, and pulled you into a hug. She held you tight. “We miss you up here, (y/n). Please, don’t be a stranger, and come back more often.”

You hugged her back tightly. “I’ll try. When things start calming down again, I’ll come back.”

“Just make sure it’s before another half-decade has passed!” Nat called from her spot off to the side.

You pulled away from Carol and shot your other sister a teasing glare. “Then tell the Fates to stop throwing me curve balls and fucking up my life!” You slid over to her and hugged her as well. “Don’t forget, you can always come down to see me instead. I know it’s dark and gloomy down there, but I’ve remodeled my house and I think it’s really nice.”

“So you’re out of your gothic phase?”

You could feel your cheeks heat up. “Gods, I thought we agreed to never speak about that again. I liked the architecture!”

“Mhmm, and the black clothes, and the heavy eyeliner,” Carol began to list, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“Oh, shut up! The castle’s gone. No more gothic. Now it’s more modern. Have you ever seen those American houses where they’re an open concept, all sleek and box-like?”

Both your sisters nodded.

“It’s kinda like that.”

Natasha whistled. “Nice. Is it still black?”

“Of course.” You chuckled. “Could you imagine a bright yellow house in the middle of the Underworld?”

“It does sound ridiculous,” Carol admitted.

“Exactly. The black is there to stay.” You smiled softly and took a small step away from your family. “I’ll see you both later.”

Carol’s lips twitched up in a sad smile as she brought a hand up to wave at you. “See you soon.”

Natasha simply nodded at you, a tiny smile of her own on her face.

And then you turned your back and walked away from them. You made your way to the cafe’s gate and pushed it open, making your exit.

It was a short walk back to the main road of Olympus. It was easy to know when you’d arrived because street vendors crowded the sides and people filled the streets. Gods, goddesses, nymphs, naiads, satyrs, and all other sorts of creatures bustled around, darting in and out from stall to stall. Families with children stopped to chit chat with each other, couples held hands as they browsed, and singular people shopped with a purpose. Everyone had a smile on their face, everyone was happy. For a normal person, the path would be almost impossible to navigate.

But not for you.

The second you got within five feet of a nymph or naiad, they stiffened and the hairs on the back of their neck stood up. They sensed the death that surrounded you and instinctively inched away. Their heads were put on a swivel as they searched for the source of their discomfort and, when they saw you, they prickled further and took a step out of your way, clearing your path.

It used to bother you how they’d avoid you like the plague but now you’d come to accept it. You reeked like death; they sensed it; they didn’t like it. You learned almost two thousand years ago to not take it personally. They didn’t hate you, they just hated what you were and what you stood for. Besides, you never had to be stuck in foot traffic.

You sauntered down the opening in the road, going as quick as you could so as not to disturb them any longer, but not in a rush. Though you knew you weren’t welcome by most of Olympus’ citizens, you quite enjoyed the feeling of the sun on your skin whenever you came. The feeling was alien to you, but it was pleasant enough to make you want to bask in it for as long as possible.

You made your way up the road, slowly climbing closer and closer to the golden palace of the gods where your youngest sister lived. It was in her front yard where you could safely make your way home without pissing anybody off.

After all, the quickest way back to the Underworld was to have the ground swallow you up. The journey didn’t leave any gaping hole behind you—the ground always closed up after you sank in—but it did leave an Asphodel flower in your stead.

Carol didn’t mind having the flowers dot the lawn of her palace. Most Olympians hated the sight of them and saw them only as a bad omen, but Carol knew there was nothing really wrong with the flower. The reason they got such a bad reputation was that they were linked to you.

Asphodel flowers only grew in the Asphodel Meadows in the Underworld. Mortals believed they had a positive role in the Greek afterlife, but not the Olympians. To them, the immortals, anything related to the Underworld was taboo, almost like it was death itself. Things touched by death and the Underworld were considered dangerous and to be avoided at all costs. You learned a long time ago that if you let the ground swallow you up and plant a flower in your place, the area where you left would be avoided for decades even after the flower had died. It caused a lot of inconveniences for the Olympian people, so you just decided to avoid public places and go to your sister’s yard instead. It was cleaner and less of a nuisance for others that way.

You strolled into the palace’s yard, treading down towards the furthermost corner of the area. There, a small garden of Asphodel flowers lays perfectly still and undisturbed. They’d grown to be as tall as your waist and they shuffled as you moved about them. You tried to keep the garden as small as possible so as to not “contaminate” a large area. You stopped in the center of the garden and dug into your pocket. Your skin hit tiny seeds—Asphodel seeds—and you plucked one out before dropping it onto the grass.

The seed sank into the dirt, disappearing almost immediately, and the ground rumbled beneath you as it began to tear itself apart. It caved in, carving out a tunnel for you to sink into.

You simply crossed your arms, closed your eyes, and rolled your neck to stretch. You’d made this journey so many times that the fall hardly phased you anymore. You remembered doing it the first couple of times and panicking as you fell. Now, it was as easy as taking a step.

You dropped through layers upon layers of rock, finally breaking out into a chasm. Your feet hit the ground and you bent your knees to absorb the impact, straightening up when you were steady. You rose to your full height and stood tall, gazing down a mountain at the whole of the Underworld.

You’d been deposited right on the front stoop of your mansion. Perched on the top of a small mountain, you could see everything from the front door.

At the far reaches of your kingdom, you could see the place where the Cocytus, the River of Wailing fed into the Acheron, the River of Woe, which stood as the border between the Mortal World and the Underworld. The far bank of the Acheron was crowded with souls waiting for passage over the water and the near bank was organized with lines leading up to and disappearing into the judgment pavilion. From the pavilion, three lines branched out and led to the three sections of the Underworld: the Asphodel Meadows, Elysium, and Tartarus.

The Asphodel Meadows spanned the majority of the large chasm that was your domain. The flowers swayed without a breeze, instead moved by spirits who wandered aimlessly. It was a place for those who had led ordinary lives, not good enough to achieve Elysium, but not evil enough to deserve Tartarus. The Meadows were as calm as calm could be, perfect for walking your dog or lazing around on a rare free day. Billions of spirits resided there, all of them calm, gentle, and ordinary.

Elysium, with its warm atmosphere, beautiful gardens, and elaborate homes sat just off to the side of the Meadows, its entrance near the base of your mountain. Sanctioned off by towering gates and walls, it lay separate from the rest of the Underworld. It was the place where the best of the best lived after death, filled with kind, generous, and beautiful souls. The souls that had been reborn and achieved Elysium three times lived on the Isles of the Blessed which were three little islands that sat in the middle of a lake in the heart of Elysium. You loved walking down the streets in Elysium. Everyone was so friendly and not a soul shied away from you. They had no reason to fear death; after all, they were already dead. Some of the spirits that had been there long enough were friendly enough to invite you for dinner on the occasional evening when they’d catch you patrolling the streets or walking Cerberus. Those were the nights you enjoyed the most. Mrs. Thomas made a fantastic roast chicken. It was truly a good place to be.

And then there was Tartarus; the “pit”. You shuddered just thinking about that place. It was where the evil souls went when they died, a place of torture, punishment, misery, and pain. It was mainly managed by three of your lieutenants known as “the Furies.” When they weren’t pursuing the wicked in the Mortal World, they were overseeing the torture of the worst of the worst deep in the pit. It lay just beyond the main body of your realm, accessible only through a cave that carved a hole in the outermost wall of the chasm that was the Underworld. The Phlegethon, the River of Fire, with its angry red flames that leaped out at anybody who dared get close to it, flowed into the tunnel taking up half of its opening. The river flowed deep until the point when the tunnel opened up to a cave. Dark, sharp stalactites hung from the cave’s ceiling, ready to fall at any second and impale those beneath them. There was a hole in the middle of the ground that seemed endless, but really, it fed into the real Tartarus. The river flowed into the pit, turning into a waterfall as it roared down. It was a long way down, said to be “as far beneath Hades as heaven is above earth” if you read that epic The Iliad from some Greek guy named Homer. It was about a nine days’ fall to reach the bottom of the pit where the souls were tortured and the worst beings were imprisoned.

You’d only been down there once, millennia ago, when you locked up the bastard you called “Father” and his brothers Crius, Iapetus, Coeus, and Hyperion, and you never wanted to go down again. It was nothing but red and angry. The Phlegethon was even more violent down there than it was in the main Underworld as it tore through the terrain. Tartarus itself was like a whole new world. It was seemingly endless, but it only had the one exit. One could get lost and be trapped there for eternity if they weren’t careful.

It was at the far reaches of the pit, farther than any soul or spirit dared to venture, that you imprisoned your father and uncles, binding them with the strongest chains you could make and sealing them with every spell, curse, and enchantment that you could think of. Layer upon layer of protection was placed upon them, making it nearly impossible for them to escape. You separated the five of them and placed them as far apart from each other as you could so that they could not feed on each other’s strength and escape. Your uncles, as formidable of foes as they were, were no threat to you anymore. They’d gone dormant after the first thousand years or so, reserved to their fates; but not your father.

Kronos continued to fight against his restraints, trying every day to escape, spending as much strength as he could muster to fight your barriers against him. Over the centuries he had succeeded in breaking some of them, specifically the old ones you had placed when you’d first imprisoned him. He was always chipping away at them, trying to weaken them enough to break free to exact his revenge on you and your sisters.

But you’d never let that happen. That was one of the reasons you made your weekly ventures to the edge of the pit. From up above, you could cast more spells to strengthen and set more layers on his bindings. Every week you added more and more to his cage, replacing those he broke, rejuvenating those he damaged, and adding new ones as an extra precaution.

Your sisters were fair to wonder why you didn’t let your inferiors or lieutenants take care of this task for you, but you had your reasons.

For the first couple of years that you guarded his prison, you did let some underlings take care of it. Peggy, your second in command, best friend, and the goddess of magic, volunteered to take care of it while you worked to get the Underworld under control and install order. She did a good job of keeping the spells strong and watertight, but she wasn’t infallible.

Your father, the extremely powerful titan that he is, found ways to let his conscience escape and make its way up to the surface. He would get into her head and anyone else who got close and twist their thoughts around, slowly turning them to his side and against the gods.

It took you a decade to notice that Peggy was under his control. You’d had your suspicions that she wasn’t herself, but it was when she tried to pull a knife on you and slit your throat that your suspicions were confirmed. It broke your heart to have Cerberus restrain her while you reached into her head and yanked Kronos out. Her screams still haunt you to this day.

But from that day on, while Peggy was recovering, it was you that took care of the cage. That was how it should’ve been in the beginning, but you’d let her take on that responsibility for you. Never again would you subject another being to that. You did not know what it was like to have him in your head, but you had an idea of what it was like in his, and you couldn’t bear inflicting that kind of pain again. So, in addition to making frequent check-ups on the men and women who worked for you to make sure there wasn’t any trace of his influence, you took it upon yourself to personally deal with strengthening his prison every week.

Which was what you had to do right now.

With a heavy sigh, you turned back to look at your mansion and whistled.

At once, a crash, bang, thud, and whimper broke the silence and you could see a large black mass barreling at you from inside the house. The hulking figure shot through a wide doggy door just to the side of your front door and charged at you.

Your entire face lit up with a laugh as Cerberus attacked you, jumping up to place his paws on your chest so he could have easy access to lick your face. Thankfully he was in his small form so there was only one head trying to lovingly maul you. If he had been full-sized, you’d have an issue.

At his full height, Cerberus was as tall as your mountain in the Underworld, with three large heads that could see almost everything. When he wasn’t around you in his small size, he’d stand at the gates of the Underworld, guarding the borders and making sure that the rogue spirits didn’t escape. He seemed ferocious and scary because he closely resembled a large black wolf with deep red eyes, but he was really a gentle giant and your metaphorical baby.

You lifted your head up to avoid his eager tongue, instead allowing him to attack your neck as your laughter rang out in the still air. “Cerberus! Down, boy! Down! Yes, it’s good to see you too.” Once you’d gotten him calmed down, you crouched so you were at his eye level and scratched him behind the ears. “Who’s a good boy?”

He barked as if to say, “Me! Me! I am!”

You simply grinned at him and leaned forward to press your forehead to his, a common gesture of affection for you with him. “I’ve gotta go make sure Father hasn’t done anything stupid in a week, you wanna come with me?”

As if it was even a question. Cerberus always accompanied you on your trips, acting as a good guard dog to protect you from some of the spirits that dwelled on the pit’s edges—not that you really needed it, you just loved his company.

“Let’s go.” You straightened up and started to walk down the mountain path.

Cerberus kept perfect pace with you. He knew the way almost as well as you did.

Down the mountain and through the Asphodel Meadows. Cross the Meadows to the Phlegethon and follow the river to the mouth of the cave. Then it was a straight shot into the pit where you could cast your spells. Simple, easy, quick.

You knew the way by heart, not even bothering to look up as you went. Asphodel flowers crunched under your flats as you crossed the Meadows and spirits parted for you to get through; not that they needed to, they were just being polite.

You and Cerberus strolled through the Meadows, coming up to the Phlegethon and following it towards Tartarus.

You had to force your feet to walk as you got closer, a sense of unparalleled dread washing over you. Shivers crept down your spine and the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. Tartarus was always a daunting place, but today it almost seemed… more so. And as soon as you took one step into the entrance, you knew that something was seriously wrong.

You stopped short, your feet planted into the ground. Your stomach dropped and every warning alarm you had was going off in your head.

Cerberus had frozen, his ears flattened against his head and his lips pulled back in a snarl. His whole body was positioned to pounce at the drop of a hat.

You rolled your shoulders back and narrowed your eyes. The world began to tint red at the edges, the color slowly creeping in to cover your entire vision. With this new sight, you could see deeper into the tunnel where you saw figures writhing closer and closer to the pit. Something was in the cave, something that didn’t belong.

You grit your teeth and nodded your head towards Cerberus. “Go get Aunt Peggy,” you commanded in a low voice.

He didn’t need to be told twice and took off running as soon as the words left your lips.

You didn’t take your eyes off the mouth of the cave as you extended your hand, calling forth into being your weapon: a sleek black bident that was as tall as you were. Forged for you by the cyclopes millennia ago when you first fought your father, your vibranium bident was a formidable weapon. It was a lot like your sister’s trident, but with two prongs instead of three that branched out from the spear at the height of your chin. Your bident was your primary weapon used for fighting. It allowed you to manipulate spirits and channel magic, morph terrain, and wield the energy of the Underworld, among other things. Plus it was good for stabbing.

You tightened your grip around the bident’s shaft and lifted it off the ground, moving slowly into the cave. Your feet never made a sound as you stepped closer and closer to the writhing mass. As you neared the souls, your fingers began to turn white with how tight you were holding your weapon, raising it to strike at any second. You were prepared to fight off a small militia of evil souls trying to escape, but what you found when you reached them was not a coup preparing to strike.

No, the souls were, instead, swarming around a figure.

You muscled your way in through the crowd, using your bident to shove the spirits out of the way and dissipate them. You got to the center of their swarm and looked down. But instead of seeing an animal corpse or something of the likes, you saw something far more serious: a man.

The man seemed to be about your physical age, but you could tell almost right away from the aura he radiated that, like you, he was probably much older than he looked. His short dark hair was tousled and matted, no doubt from the spirits grabbing at it, and his clothes—what once seemed to be a pristine white shirt and jeans—were torn with claw marks and black with dirt. His shocking blue eyes stared up at the ceiling of the chasm, full of despair and hopelessness. He’d obviously started to lose hope that he’d ever escape the clutches of evil that held him tight.

You didn’t have much time to register who he was or what he was doing in Tartarus. You were just in shock that this man, this very alive man, had made it into your domain without you knowing. Your grip slackened and you stared down at him, surprise rising up in you with rage boiling up behind it as the only words you could manage to speak were, “Oh fuck.”

Next 2: He Becomes a Trespasser

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hikingofthenoldor · 3 years

Text

Playing a 13 year old video game is pretty much guaranteed a wild ride. And the first The Witcher game is absolutely no exception. The graphics did not age all too well and the control and camera settings are a mess. After playing the prologue, I feel like I got the hang of it but it's not great.

I'm intrigued by the story thus far. I know that it takes place after the books ended, but since I have not yet finished reading the series I am a little lost. Like... The fuck's up with Triss? (don't tell me, I'll figure that out soon enough.)

About the character designs - and I explicitly do not conplain the low quality graphics, the game is old and my expectations where low - but oh boi. All those manly, veiny forearms. And Geralt's chest hair! Which actually looks surprisingly nice. I like his slightly longer hair, too. But I miss the silly leather head band he loves so much in the books. The girls... Urgh. No. They must freeze all the time. So much nakef skin. Such short skirts. And revealing necklines... Like... Where are the nipples?! Seriously, where?

I love that there is a kind of pokedex to keep track of all the NPCs (I'm so glad that I know nost of them already). Apperently "seems to like Geralt (a lot)" is code for "they totally fucked at some point, but he forgot". I'm pretty sure over the course of the story he'll overcome his amnesia and remember. It's just so funny.

What else? I find it hilarious how the cut scenes deal with depictions of sex and gore. It's very obvious that it's happening but the camera strategically shows something else whenever it gets too explicit. The sword falling over and the bed moving? I laughed so hard.

Overall, I am enjoying the game. The graphics and overall feel make me very nostalgic even though it's my first time playing it. It looks and feels like my early teens. Which yeah... Makes sense chronologically.

Does this post have a point? No. I just wanted to talk about silly old Geralt for a sec. Thanks for listening.

#The witcher #jack's personal stuff #I'm pretty sure I'll find tons of typos in here tomorrow #Writing on mobile sucks #Good night

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katreal-fic · 4 years

Text

Since tumblr was weird about the last post and stuck the read more in the ask itself which is SILLY. This is what would have originally been Ersatz Abyss’ Prologue:

Obviously spoiler warnings. Pls do not read unless you know what happened to Dirk x3

Dirk > Reflect on Your Latest Bad Decision

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you are being reckless again.

You acknowledge that.

You don’t know what you are thinking, throwing yourself into battle after battle, long after your muscles have started to protest with fatigue, flirting with the jaws of pain and injury.

You acknowledge that too.

Maybe that’s the problem. You aren’t thinking at all.

Or more precisely, you don’t want to be thinking.

Not about Jake.

(You can’t stop thinking about Jake.)

Not about the fact that your messages are sitting unheeded and unresponded to in a Pesterchum window, banished to the lower right corner of your shades. Even the slightest focus on the application has it popping open, bidden by the transparently mid-level conscious desire of your too-busy brain, despite the very clear fact that you don’t want to be thinking about it at all.

You don’t want to see the sea of orange messages tumbling through the semi-transparent application like waves. See the green pip of his online status reminding you that he’s probably seen it, and isn’t answering them at all. At least you know he’s alive, even if Jane had to be the one to reassure you of that.

It’ll be two weeks tomorrow.

You want to scream out your frustration--your fear, because you love him and why would he visibly, pointedly, unmistakably ignore you like this if you love him??? If he loves you back???--but that wouldn’t be cool at all, so you just press your lips shut behind the blank visage of your rad, flame painted gas mask,and clench your jaw and pull your goddamn sword through the air, cleaving the monster--you don’t even know what kind of monster it is, you don’t care--in twain. It’s not even a neat cut, one half slouching back in on the other with a heavy squelch, joining a number of others in various states of dismemberment across the mossy green stone of this tomb.

Green.

Why the FUCK was everything here green?

Your auto-responder’s text isn’t green as he pointedly takes control of the application and shoos away the errant window, overriding your traitorous brain’s hyper-fixation and opening up a new chat.

(h)TT: You really need to stop thinking about this. (h)TT: It’s a most inconvenient failing of your organic processor, falling into such fickle human traps such as useless recursive and perhaps even reductive feelings. (h)TT: It makes me feel momentarily thankful for the fact that I am a computer, and thus immune to such failings. Perhaps you should look into making a conversion yourself. (h)TT: It seems you need to take a step back and ask yourself what Robojesus would do. (h)TT: What would Robojesus do, Dirk? (h)TT: The answer is decidedly not slaughter an entire tomb’s population to assuage your hurting feefees because your boyfriend is giving you the cold shoulder.

You ignore him.

(h)TT: Dirk, I’m 99.9% sure the zombie is actually dead again. For the hundredth time. You can put the sword away now.

You jerk away from the corpse with it’s pitiful grist yield and don’t answer. However, you don’t put the sword away as prompted. And he keeps prompting. You consider shutting your shades off entirely--him off entirely. You could do it. One thought. One thought and they’d be powered the fuck down in the middle of that red diatribe he’s going through, bleeding through the screen and into your eyeballs.

It’s just a thought however. Instead you forcibly override his control of the display--you are the primary user after all, that’s how you coded that shit--and close the text window.

Perhaps it isn’t fair, shutting him out like this, but you’re angry and hurting and you just want to work out your frustrations on the goddamn game constructs in peace.

The poisonous green kryptonian mists swirl around you as you move onto the next room, slithering over your skin like a cloud of tiny snakes, tugged along with your movements. Notification after notification stack up in the corner of your display. You mute that too, while your katana cleaves into the skull of some sort of reanimated reptilian creature, and just keep moving.

The next window to pop up is baby blue. Stopping you dead in your tracks.

Jane.

Oh.

Fuck.

Him.

You pretend you don’t see it. You don’t want to snap at Jane. It’s not her fault she’s being used in your auto-responder’s petty harassment campaign.

Then after a thought, you shut down Pesterchum entirely before he can drag Roxy into this. Going offline. Incommunicado outside of yourself, and the version of yourself living in your personal computing device. Actually, for that you cut off the network access to the shades entirely so he doesn’t try something else.

You might as well be seeing red--figuratively, not literally, you refuse to let him open a chat window--with the anger that seethes within you right now. At Jake. At him. It’s all the last couple weeks of frustration of an on again, off again, up and down roller coaster of a relationship that you wouldn’t allow yourself to feel for fear of driving Jake further away, all bubbling up and fizzing over, spilling out of you like a soda bottle filled with Jake-English shaped mentos.

You’ll have to get down on your knees and clean it up later. Put in the elbow grease and mop up the explosion of sticky, nasty, dirty coke. Get your thinkpan going about how sustainable this is. How whether the distinction of being Jake English’s number one bae is worth all this stress and the strain that has reduced your relationship to what feels like a step down from zero. But.

That’s later. For once in your life, in the isolation of these desecrated tombs in this ruined city, on a planet that belongs to you and no one else…

You allow yourself to feel.

If AR wants to stick his virtual nose in the middle of your carefully quarantined quest for catharsis then isn’t it the equivalence of someone putting their head in the metaphorical sendificator? You suppose he’s just following his nature. Meddling in other people’s business. Clinging. Unable to just let shit be.

Your nature. Orange text going on and on and on. Scrolling down an empty screen.

One last room. You’ve explored enough of these tombs over the last almost half-a-year of your life to know they come in a pattern. Some battle rooms, some puzzle rooms, and then finally a treasure room. The end. You won. Have yourself a fucking sticker for your trouble. You’ve already cleared this one before, so you don’t even have the satisfaction of a mini-boss or even a random lore tablet waiting for you. Not that you ever really cared about the history the game tried to create for this place in order to justify your potential character development on this planet.

It’s still the end. A hollow one, but an accomplishment nonetheless.

A sun-faced statue towers above a chest tucked into a nook at the far end of the room. Yaldabaoth. Your denizen. A giant-ass snake worm thing with a fucking sun for a head. So stupid. Was it named that after your internet browser, ganked off your machine by Sburb when it populated this stupid session, or was it all just one giant cosmic guffaw that everything matched like that?

Not that it matters, your goal is the exit teleportalizer in the small room behind the statue, so you can check this particular cluster of rooms and corridors off your map and move on to the next one. Find a new pack of mobs to take your frustration out on. Respawning tombs were the best, all the catharsis of mindless slaughter without having to worry about getting ambushed by a fucking mini-boss.

After four consecutive tomb runs you’d think you’d have beaten your pesky emotions out at least thrice over.

You’d much rather be numb.

A low battery system notification forces its way into the center of your screen, and you audibly sigh, that’s how exasperated you are. The extent to which your auto-responder is dead set to be a nuisance would be mind boggling if he wasn’t based on a literal clone of your own brain. Honestly, you’d be disappointed if he did stop trying.

You dismiss it. Another one pops up. Then another. And another. A whole fuckton of spam popups so thick you can barely see the room in front of you.

This is ridiculous.

You open a memo.

(d)TT: The shades don’t have a battery, dumbass. (h)TT: The room isn’t clear, dumbass.

Your eyes flick towards the treasure chest off to the left.

Spikes slam down over the door behind you, and in the distance, the door ahead, as you note that, yes, there are indeed chests tucked in the coils of the serpent statue. Closed and unlooted. Two of them in fact.

Okay. That’s fine. You’ll need to update your maps.

Or maybe you don’t, because once you kill this bitch it’ll be correct again.

You hear the growl behind you, the clink and crunch of bone and magic and metal as a giant armored skeleton spawns. You haven’t had to fight one of these since…

Since you last came through with Jake.

Fine.

You wanted a fucking fight anyway, didn’t you?

It’s big. At least twice as tall as you, and you’re not tiny by any stretch of the word. But big means slow and you can dance circles around slow. That giant hammer is useless, if you cared enough to you’d laugh in the face of those sluggishly stilted swings. Choreographed so obviously even Jake could have--

Your katana screeches against the mace’s handle, leaving you grinding your teeth in pain as it resounds in your ears, the impact threatening to yank it from your hands. But your grip is proper, the result of years of diligent study, and your strength is beyond human, so you just ignore that shit. You ignore the green fire in the skull’s eyes. The too sharp canines. The fist that comes around ready to smash your head like it’s a fucking grape.

You lose yourself in the fight. In the strain of muscles and the feel of noxious mist swirling around you. Jake doesn’t exist. It’s just you and the sword and ignore the fact that you’ve never taken one of these down alone before, because Jake always came tomb diving with you and it was something you two did together you did everything together this was so fucked up. There’s two chests. Your trials were made to be completed in a pair.

What did you do wrong?

You were too clingy that’s what. Too desperate. Too much and you sent him running, didn’t you?

You aren’t really angry at Jake. You’re angry at yourself, because you’re a self-centered bastard like that. Everything comes back to you.

An alarm blares through your speakers, breaking you free from your spiral of self pity and you flinch. Absorbing the message flashing red in the middle of your screen.

(h)On your left! Watch out for the second spawn!(h)

The unseen impact sends you into a wall.

No, not into the wall. Through the wall. You land with a crash, cracking stone. Screen going dark. No message. No red text. Just blood and glass that falls away as you reach up disbelieving, shards of metal and glass digging into skin so numb you soon can’t feel it. You can’t see, blood seeping into your eyes, leaking from your nose. You think you broke it. Maybe. The shades just.

Crumble.

Shattering to the ground in a sparking set of shrapnel, falling with sharp clinks that echo damningly in your ears,somehow able to be heard over the pounding of your heart, the organ responsible for pumping the blood leaking from deep gashes around your eyes where glass and metal fractured and you’re lucky you aren’t fucking blind but---

Two monsters groan and creak behind you.

You can’t stop.

You can’t--

You push yourself off magenta stone, leaving the remnants of your shades broken and useless on the raised slab and whirl around to face the pair of fucking skeleton guards that just fucking broke--killed--your--

…

...

The rest of the fight isn’t important.

What’s important is you survive. That your path leads you back to your makeshift workshop in your living room, glass and metal in your hands, trying desperately to pull shit back together with the dying hope that you can salvage your auto-responder’s programming from the remains.

It’s not like you have a fucking backup.

A backup wouldn’t mean anything anyway.

He’s--

Fuck.

Maybe it was a stupid practice to not keep a physical copy of his code elsewhere. Keep his core program somewhere else. Just in case. This is a scenario you both had argued over many, many times, always leading back to the ethics and philosophical framing of trapping yet another copy of yourself somewhere. Inactive and alone, on the sheer chance of a just in case. Would it even be him, if you removed or copied him from that one single chip from whence you’d initially activated him?

He’d adamantly refused, of course, and you’d felt guiltily responsible enough for him and his situation that you’d tabled the discussion.

As infuriating as he was, he was still alive. He did have a right to his own choices.

You shut off his network access.

Or he was--

No.

You locked him out of nearly everything.

No.

You refused to listen, so wrapped up in your own fucking feelings.

You don’t--

He would have died entirely alone. All for a petty little argument.

You refuse to accept it.

And now you have to live with the fucking consequences.

...what are you going to tell Roxy?

You found the chip, at least. In the wreckage. It looked whole. The protective casing surrounding it was dented and crushed along the edge that made removing it for inspection downright impossible if you didn’t want to further damage the interior workings. Your hands are shaking as you clean out the debris from the micro data transfer point, ignoring, as you always do, the ghost of a blood splatter your brain tries to fill in for you. Cleaning that up had been one of the first things you did. It’d corrode the component, otherwise. It doesn’t stop you from remembering it was there.

It’d taken too long for your face to stop bleeding. You rub your eyes, careless of the scabbed over wounds that just barely missed irreparably damaging your ocular organs. The pain still pulses under your skin. A constant presence since you pulled the shards of glass out of your face. Your game-constructed dreamself healed that shit faster than your original one would have, but it still isn’t right. Isn’t normal. What should be nothing more than fading lines by now are angry raised ridges, the shadows of which peek out from beneath your shades. Likely invisible to most, they are obvious to you whenever you look in the mirror. A reminder.

Your guilt, maybe, manifesting for the world to see.

But that didn’t matter, not really. What’s one more thing to hate yourself for? It’s not like it’ll change anything. You’re too stubborn and rigid to change. Besides, there’s no point when he’s--

None of that. You suck in a breath. In for four. Hold. Out for seven.

You don’t know that. Your free hand lands on the cable sitting innocently next to your monitor, fingers hooking around it like jerky claws as you drag it towards you. You take one last look, squinting through your backup pair of shades--and then pushing them up in your hair because even if the light strains your eyes you can’t do shit if there’s still debris in the port.

Okay. All clear. The lenses settle back on your nose--too light, lacking the weight and presence your broken set did, tricked out as they’d been--but you click the connector cable into the data point and push away from the clear space on your workbench, pulling up in front of your monitor instead.

The diagnostics are simple ones. Pinging the connection. Searching for indexed files. Searching for--

Well, you don't want a bunch of corrupted data, but even that would be better than nothing at all. Nothing would mean the chip was probably crushed into unsalvageable pieces in the depths of its casing.

Either that or a busted connector. Which would mean you’d have to risk breaking through the casing anyway. Which you don’t want to do.

It’s a moot consideration anyway, because the console eventually finishes its search and lights up in lines and lines of white on black, listing files and indexes. Thank god. You navigate the directory, nervously noticing the number of unreadable filenames and broken links. You check through several more harmless methods--unsecured folders and chat logs if you remember the paths correctly--only to find some of them eerily empty or unreadable.

Christ, you don’t know if you’ll feel better or worse if you find out he’s still kicking but missing half his functions. Or memory. Wouldn’t that effectively be a lobotomy?

You pull up Pesterchum, opening the memo you’d had open earlier. Looking back at the red and orange text from your childish snark off makes you feel sick. A big ol’ heaping glob of guilt roiling in your gut.

You’re an asshole.

Now isn’t the time to indulge in gratuitous self-flagellation.The wired connection should bypass the fact that he has no broadcasting capabilities. (Because you shut them off)

(d)TT: AR. (d)TT: Earth to Hal. (d)TT: Houston’s commands have just come in, they need you to compile a report on all the reasons your system operator is an idiot. (d)TT: Because at this point I think I deserve it.

You don’t think he’d be able to resist an open season like that. (note to self: thank alex for the dialogue)

But he does. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself when the minutes tick by without any lines of red text springing across the screen

(d)TT: Do you remember that time you told me to stop being a dumbass and I ignored you? (d)TT: This is the part where you say I told you so.

Time drags on. It's infuriating. You can almost hear it inside your head. Echoing. Even if you know the only clocks you have are digital and therefore make no more sound than your computer does, humming away.

(D)TT: Please?

…

The pit in your gut yawns wide before you. This was it. You might have to actually face the facts. You aren't--aren't like Jake. You can't delude yourself into thinking that everything will be alright if you just put on a cheerful attitude and hope for it to be true.

He might be gone.

Really gone.

You find his core file, but it's inaccessible remotely. Even your overrides don't do shit. You can't do anything from here. You can't break it open. You should just throw in the towel. The deed is done. You hold the shattered glass from the display in the palm of your hand, picking it up from where you'd set several chunks on your desk, some of which you’d had to dig out of your face.

It should be a relief, really. You two had never gotten along. Even before he started pushing your limits and you retaliated in an ever escalating war of bullshit. The world only needs one Dirk Strider. One of you would inevitably end up killing the other, seeing your flaws reflected back at you so clearly. In the path to perfection, isn’t it the flaws that must be eliminated?

Broken glass cuts into your palm as you squeeze your fist around the shard, bright red blood dribbling down the fractal edges, gleaming in the bright overhead lights of your workstation.

You’ve thought about it before. Of course you have. You’ve thought about letting yourself fall on your own sword before, wielded by your own hand, and he’s an even easier target. Everything you hate about yourself, bundled up in one nice neat little digital package, staring you literally in the face. Inescapable. Uncontrollable. You’ve thought about taking that reinforced steel and glass and twisting until it breaks.

But that’s all it was. A thought. Because he’s your responsibility.

Christ on a fucking cracker, he’s a pain in your ass but you didn’t want him dead.

You can't just leave it. Even if the chances are small, what do you have to lose? You can't look Roxy in the face (or even at her text, you’re already ignoring several messages from her because what the fuck do you say?) if you don't try every possible option, and there's one, no, two options left as you see it right now.

He was designed to predict and respond to your thought patterns above all else. The connection works, being able to navigate the directory affirms that. If the function that connected to Pesterchum was inaccessible then maybe you could get through some other way.

You just have to build a brand new interface around that busted casing and get some fucking neural interfaces up and running. If you know nothing else, it’s that for better or for worse, you can’t block out your own damned thoughts.

You plunge into your work, because that’s all you can do right now.

It’s almost a new day--although what exactly comprises a day at this point is arbitrary since everything is just shifting shades of green--when you finally pry yourself away and take a break, stretching your stiff back and rubbing your palms into your strained eyes. You can’t wear your shades, or turn down the lights, when dealing with components so small. The constant vigilance is wearing on you, a constant state of fatigue where one wrong move could render a part unusable and require you to start the process all over again. The only reason you’re even stopping right now is because you’re getting careless.

Your fingers ache under the brightly colored cutie mark stamped bandaids, the tips red and blistering from where your hand slipped and brought them into contact with the soldering iron. They’ll heal.

In for four.

Hold.

Out for seven.

You can do this.

Jane checks in once it’s something closer to a respectable time. She always does, you can count on it like clockwork. The pings from Pesterchum on your desktop drag you away from your workstation--slowly coming together--and you realize you never responded to her--yesterday. The messages of concern are still sitting pretty in their baby blues as you reluctantly click the window open.

GG: Now what’s this I hear about you going off on some madcap adventure over there Mr. Strider? GG: Your auto-responder was quite put out by your actions! Demanded I make it my business to grab you by the collar and tell you off, as it were. GG: I understand you might need some space at the moment, but do let me know if I can stop by at any time. You know I’m always here to talk if you need it. I’ll even bring your favorite cookies! GG: I’ll refrain from shaking you despite your auto-responder’s direct request. (d)TT is idle! GG: Oh bother.

It’s the newer messages that prompted the recent pings, time-stamped as they were with the current date and time, several minutes ago.

GG: Dirk, you know I don’t like meddling in your affairs, but I’ve heard neither hide nor hair from either of you all night! Don’t make me dig out my magnifying glass and track you down. GG: At least let me know you’re safe. (d)TT: I’m alive. GG: Oh thank heavens! That’s good. I’ll admit I’ve been beside myself with worry when you didn’t respond, not even through your auto-responder. Between the two of you I had thought it was quite impossible to go radio silent! (d)TT: I’ve just been buried in an important project all night. I appreciate the offer of a visit, but I think I need to get this done. GG: Oh that’s quite all right, we can wait until you’re ready. I’m just relieved to hear you’re safe! GG: Are you and AR fighting again? Is that what that was all about? (d)TT: You could say that. GG: Don’t you think this is all a bit silly? He can be a handful I'll grant you that, but likely no worse than you would be in that situation as far as I understand it. (d)TT: I’m dealing with it the best I can, Jane. GG: Well, make sure you take care of yourself while you do! Have you had breakfast yet? (d)TT: ...no. GG: Dinner, at least? (d)TT: Despite the fact that I don’t necessarily need to eat, I assure you I have eaten something substantial in the last 24 hours. GG: That’s only because I nagged you into doing it yesterday! Honestly, Dirk, you might not need to, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t! It’s the principle of the matter! Taking care of yourself is as much a mind-set as it is a series of actions, and it’s something you have a history of slacking about, mister!

Too tired and sick to argue back, you promise you’ll look for something, and pack yourself away from the computer to do so, allowing your Pesterchum status to revert to idle. It’s a brief diversion, you don’t have much aside from some cookies that probably went stale since you got them the last time you visited Jane a month ago, and the remnants of your preserved food stash that you’ve barely touched since the body you inhabit isn’t necessarily organic after you sacrificed your original human meatsuit on the altar of fucking time-travel in order to save your friends. Being a dreamself has some perks and being able to ignore a lot of the usual maintenance is one of the more convenient ones.

You crack open a can of black beans and let yourself indulge in a sulk, folding yourself into the corner where the two walls meet on your bed. Except you can’t properly get your sulk on because your eyes keep getting drawn to your desktop, and the workstation you have set up beside it.

This state of affairs lasts maybe five minutes before you fuck off to the roof because you can’t stand looking at it. Being in the same room and doing nothing while your work taunts you. The fucked up green and red sky and swirling clouds with its constant, distant lightning storms dancing between the shadows of ruined buildings was preferable to this.

In half an hour your government assigned break is over--you dutifully report in with Miss Crocker that you have, indeed, consumed something, even if you don’t tell her that you had thrown half of it away because you just feel like your vestigial and unnecessary stomach is doing acrobatic kickflips off all kinds of handles--and you put that damn nose back to the grind-stone. You'll be a sphinx by the time you're done with this.

Roxy, predictably, is the next one to interrupt you. Not that she ever really stopped interrupting you. You’re running on almost 36 hours since you started this damn project--you can’t just alchemize a new set because you can’t be certain the ‘ideal’ mind-reading shades would match dot for dot the specialized infrastructure you need--by the time you finally allow yourself to scroll through her messages. At least she seemed to have talked to Jane, so she doesn’t think you are dead dead, just sulking over Jake and maybe some tiff with AR. You shoot her a reassurance that you’re just elbows deep in shit--you don’t want to put someone else in the situation you’ve been in--even if you don’t really have the spoons to talk to anyone right now. You don’t peek into the second window, one with many more notifications. Those aren’t addressed to you.

She doesn’t ask you why AR isn’t responding to her. She’s always been thoughtful about that. Keeping you two seperate despite the fact that you both use the same handle. It makes it easier this time. You don’t have to lie. You don't want to tell her the truth.

You glance between the archived conversation saved on your Pesterchum, and the half-finished casing lying beside you, and you know in the cold cockles of your heart, you don’t want to have to tell her he’s dead.

Three days. It takes you that much of almost non-stop working before you have a potentially viable product.

You don’t talk to Jake. You don’t even send him a single message during that time.

You don’t know if you should be hurt or resigned to the fact that he was the only one of your--admittedly limited sample size--friends who didn’t bother to check in with you at all.

The shades lay folded on the desk in front of you, looking nothing so much as brand spanking new. New display pane. New receptors built into the temple-tips.You tested that shit before you’d installed the final piece and sealed it up. These puppies pick up your brain easier than the old set ever had, mere microseconds of input lag. You’ve learned a lot of shit since you’d started three and a half years ago; especially about optimizing and refining your alchemizations of each individual components. Almost nothing about the interior workings and design infrastructure actually resemble your original pair, aside from the crushed casing housing the memory chip, and you’d done the best that you could to shore up the connections, which remained in remarkably good shape, shiny and gold and almost like new. Shimmering in the light as you looked it over that one last time.

It’s buried in the guts of this new set now. You’ll have to disassemble shit if this doesn’t work.

You’ll have bigger problems than that if it doesn’t work.

All that’s left is to drag him out.

The neural receptors settle against your skin as you place the shades on your nose, and suck in a deep, deliberately steady breath. Your gambit is perhaps a cruel one, but it should get him to respond. You flick the proverbial switch, feeling the metal warm and hum against your face as the opaque displays go transparent, the boot menu appearing and scrolling through the initial load processes. You only release that captured lungful of air when it ends, successfully, flickering into your default display set up, which is great, because it meant it managed to read the saved preference files on that miniaturized drive. No window pops open to greet you however, to jeer at you for taking your sweet ass time and boast about how he could’ve had it done in half.

You close your eyes and think pointedly. If he’s there…You remember the first command you used to activate him, all those years ago.

Tell me about the Auto-Responder.

A crackle of energy rushes through you, and for the briefest of moments you worry you didn’t seal and insulate the casing properly. That something had gone wrong.

But only for a moment, because after that you don’t worry about anything anymore.

#homestuck #homestuck au #haltier dirk #dirk strider #hal strider #lil hal #homestuck fanfic #jane crocker #I forgot how much I loved the narration here #and I couldn't salvage a lot of it #but the pesterlogs will look familiar haha #fic: ersatz #director's cut

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revangerang · 4 years

Text

Fate’s Reprise

Synopsis: As Kagome struggles to find her place after her return to the Sengoku Jidai, Rin is kidnapped and she must join up with Sesshoumaru to get her back. But is there something more to all this than a simple youkai attack?

This first chapter of my first ever fic has been in the works for over a year now, so I figure it’s about time to just do the thing and post it. I posted a previous version of this back at that time for kaoruhana’s New Years Challenge on Dokuga, but this is the final product! I hope you enjoy coming on this journey with me~

This fic will mostly stick to manga canon, except if I don’t feel like it haha

Btw with regard to scent, please try to envision the actual scents rather than the like yankee candle imitation kind~

[AO3] ~ [FFnet] ~ [Dokuga]

Chapter 1: Prologue

Kagome’s head was beginning to spin in an overwhelmed frenzy. There were too many people. Too many faces, too many names. Too many expectations for the woman she was supposed to be.

[[MORE]]

Around her, revelers laughed and danced, ate and drank, visited stalls and participated in various festivities. When they saw her as they mingled, they engaged her in conversation and urged her to join in whatever fun they were having.

“Miko-sama, thank you once again for tending to my daughter in her illness,” said a man whose name possibly started with an N. “It is thanks to you she is here today.”

She hid her panic beneath a wide smile and did her best to make conversation without revealing that she remembered absolutely nothing about these people who were supposed to be her neighbors.

She was saved- and once again distraught- by a group of preteens who dragged her off to dance with them. She did her best to keep up with the moves, but they were so foreign to her. She felt her already pounding heart speed up with the physical exertion, and the determination not to let them down.

A young boy approached her, and she broke away from the dancers.

“Miko-sama, will you play that game again with me and my friends?” His face was lit up with an expectant smile.

Did that happen? Had she played a game with this child? When?

“Of course I will!” she beamed down at him, trying to keep her voice pitched with enthusiasm rather than panic. She hoped the noise of the crowd helped to hide it.

“Hurray!” he shouted. He grabbed her hand and suddenly began dragging her through the festival at a near-run.

She wracked her brain to remember who the child was and what game she was about to be expected to play, while trying to avoid running into anything or tripping over her feet in her traditional waraji sandals.

They flew by banners celebrating the anniversary of Naraku’s defeat, strung up on the tops of stalls which were selling the same banners in miniature, alongside masks and small charms. There were even charms made to look like the Shikon no Tama, she noticed with a gasp.

Her eyes widened in shock and surprise, and her heart clenched painfully. She wanted to laugh and cry- who would have thought those silly keychains of her grandpa’s had gotten their start all the way back here, just a few years after the jewel was rid from the world. Jii-chan would be so proud. But he was now lost to her forever on the other side of the well.

As she was still being led through the maze of stalls by the child, she blinked back her tears- and immediately ran into someone. Her hand slipped from the child’s grasp as she stumbled slightly to the side. Her momentum was still propelling her forward as she spun in place to apologize. She hit another festival-goer, and sent a stand of masks toppling over.

“Miko-sama!” several voices called nearby, hands reaching out.

“I’m so sorr-!” Suddenly, deafening booms rang out with great flashes of light.

Kagome jumped and shrieked, and as the fireworks continued to ring out she breathed a quick “excuse me” and fled, as fast as she dared, into Inuyasha’s forest, unable to handle any more.

~ ~ ~

Sesshoumaru leaned down and placed his hand gently atop Rin’s head. His ward turned her bright eyes from the empty sky where moments before she had been admiring the glittering fireworks.“I’m so glad you came to celebrate with us, Sesshomaru-sama!”

“Hn.” He nodded to her, eyes softening. She was no longer such a tiny thing, but was not yet a young woman. Leaving her here in the village had been the right choice: she was learning the ways of her people well. He had no doubt she would be well-suited to whatever choice she made for her future.

His hand lingered a moment longer before he turned to walk from the festival grounds. Though the festivities would be going on for a while yet, he felt he had properly fulfilled his obligation, and was much more content to observe the rest from a distance. He kicked Jaken for good measure, knocking him out, after the imp began a diatribe about how all the lowly humans should be honored to be graced with the presence of a taiyoukai such as the Great Sesshoumaru-sama.

As he made his way across the edge of the field, he noticed the Miko’s scent leading off into the trees. It was fresh, and it had a strong tinge of fear and distress. He reached out his awareness, but could sense no hostile presence nearby. Odd. He relaxed his muscles, which had begun tensing to rush to face the potential threat. Curious, he followed her scent and pulsing reiki a ways into the forest.

When he found her, the sight that greeted him sent a momentary flash of frost through his veins. He had never before seen the Miko in such a state. Even when he had very nearly killed her, she had always been bold and utterly fearless. She had never cowered as she should, but brazenly stood her ground, glaring and even chastising him.

But now she was huddled down on the forest floor, her form curling tightly around her knees where she knelt. Her face was pressed down to the grass, her arms wrapped around her head. She was trembling and scarcely breathing. Her heart beat wildly like an erratic bird. He inhaled lightly. He could detect neither blood nor tears. What could be affecting the woman so?

“Are you quite well, Miko?”

~ ~ ~

The further Kagome had gone into the forest and away from the festival, the more her swirling thoughts seemed to overwhelm and paralyze her.

Why had she just taken off like that? What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just do what she was supposed to do? Be who she was supposed to be? Why had she even come back here to the past? She was so far from everything she had known and loved for her entire life, aside from the one single year she had spent shard-hunting. And even that life had been completely different from life in the village. She didn’t know how to live here. She didn’t know how to do this.

Slowly, she descended to the ground, her limbs stiff. On her knees, she sank further down, curling around herself. Her eyes were wide, staring blankly at the grass before her; the breaths she took were coming in tiny sips of air. She began to tremble.

In the back of her mind, she felt Sesshoumaru’s presence coming closer, as that singular thought repeated itself, louder and louder, nearly screaming in her head: I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to do this! I don’t know how to do this!

“Are you quite well, Miko?”

At the use of her title, she made a small strangled gasp.

Miko. That person she was unable to be. That role she was unable to fill.

She knew she should sit up and reply, but her body wasn’t working properly. She managed to lift her head from the ground and turn her sad, panicked eyes to meet his.

He regarded her for a moment, then turned to walk away. Her heart clenched and all she knew was she didn’t want him to leave.

“Please,” she shook her head. “Where..?”

He paused. “To retrieve the Hanyou.”

“No-“

He looked at her.

“No, please. I don’t- want him here.” Not like this. She couldn’t handle that right now.

“Please,” she said again, imploring him with her eyes. “I need-“ Something. Company. Something to ground her to reality.

He gave a barely perceptible nod and turned back to face her.

Slowly, she sat up, her wide eyes coming to rest on her lap.

A child’s exuberant laughter rang out over the din of the festival. A breeze rustled the branches overhead, sending leaves down like confetti. Kagome gave a pained chuckle. It seems even nature has expectations of me.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing here,” she told him quietly.

“Do you not wish to be?”

“I did. I don’t know. I thought it would be good. I missed being here, being on adventures, being with my friends. But it’s been years! I’ve changed. They’ve changed. Except Inuyasha, but somehow that’s even worse. I’ve grown and moved on ahead while he’s stayed the same. And living here in the village is nothing like my life here before. And it’s nothing like the life I was studying and preparing for back home either.” She clenched her fists resting on her knees. “I just. I feel so lost. But I’m the Shikon Miko- everyone has all these expectations of me built up since I’ve been gone, and I don’t know if I can ever fulfill them.” Kagome let out a breath as she finished. It felt good to voice her thoughts. Even if Sesshomaru didn’t care, he had at least listened.

She looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking, and if the taciturn taiyoukai would say anything.

~ ~ ~

Sesshomaru paused when the Miko haltingly asked him to remain with her.

After a moment, she began to tell him what troubled her. As she spoke, her body began to calm. There was still lingering worry and sadness in her scent, but it was not nearly so pronounced as before, when it had been nearly a beacon. It seemed words were the correct method of helping her.

When she had finished speaking, he took a seat at the base of a tree: one leg propped up and an arm draping languidly across it.

“You miss your home.”

“Yes, very much.” She smiled sadly at him.

“Is it so different there?”

She blinked at him. “Oh. Did you never- No one told you where I come from?”

He raised a brow. Did she truly expect him to have paid attention to such a trivial detail?

“Well,” she paused, seeming hesitant. “I was born and raised right on this very land- 500 years in the future.”

Indeed? How intriguing. He could scent no lie, and it explained her strange mannerisms and the clothing she wore prior to her disappearance. He regarded her now. He had never given the Miko much thought- she had always been his brother’s interfering human wench, and then she was his brother’s powerful miko. It seemed she had been worthy of closer attention.

“Hn, you are quite far from home,” he said finally. “How did you come to be here?”

“On my fifteenth birthday, a centipede youkai appeared and dragged me through the well on my family’s shrine. When I climbed out, I was here in the past.”

Ah. The well from that time after the final battle… That certainly explained some things.

“You see, the power of the Shikon no Tama awakened her, and she ended up tearing it out of my body.”

“From within you?” He gave her an appraising glance.

“Yes. I had no idea before then, but we think I was born with it inside of me, because,” she shifted, looking a bit uncomfortable, “I’m Kikyou’s reincarnation, and she died holding the jewel.”

“The undead miko.”

“Yeah, that’s why she wasn’t able to be revived properly, and always had to have her shinidamachuu gathering souls. The witch who brought her back tried to transfer my reincarnated soul to Kikyou, but I was able to call it back.”

Her lifeless body regained her very soul on her own power?

“Hn. And so you were able to pass through the well to this time.”

“Yeah. With the jewel, I could pass back and forth freely- Inuyasha, too. Of course, when he came, we would have him hide his ears with a bandana or hat.” She smiled fondly. “But when the jewel disappeared, the well was closed.”

“And yet you were able to return.”

“I’m still not sure how I was able to come back here without the jewel… I hadn’t even checked the well for a few months since I was so busy with graduating, but right afterwords I went to the well house and the well was open. I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t want to miss my chance, so I jumped. I think maybe my heart was just ready to return, and the well responded to that.”

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. Somehow, that didn’t sit well with him. His instincts told him there must be more to how the well opened again, and he didn’t like the implications. Their business with the jewel should be years behind them now.

The miko seemed to think his expression was directed at her, because she began hurriedly defending herself, arms fluttering about.

“I mean, I know I maybe should have put a bit more thought and preparation into it, but it felt like one of those now-or-never things, you know? I don’t know, maybe I’m foolish, but I think I would have regretted it if I hadn’t. Well, that is… Sure, I also have my regrets about doing it. But I guess this is one of those times where there is no right decision. Anyways, the well opening again had to mean something, right? Like it was my fate to come back here…” She took a breath, seeming more confident. “Either way, I made the choice, so all I can do is go forward from there.”

It seemed the Miko had found her answers for herself, so Sesshoumaru merely inclined his head.

After a moment, he asked, “How did the jewel come to be broken?”

She grimaced. “A crow youkai took it, and because of the power of the jewel, it was able to continue reforming itself after Inuyasha struck it down. It was starting to escape, flying too far away to catch, but I had the idea to attach its foot to an arrow.”

“So that it would be attracted back to the main body.” Clever.

“Uh-huh,” she nodded with a slight smile. “But it worked a little too well and the arrow went straight into the jewel, and the shards kinda exploded across the countryside.” She looked away with a self-deprecating chuckle. “So yeah this whole thing was basically my fault… That’s why I kept coming back to this time, so I could fix my mistake.”

“The strategy was sound,” he assured her, her head to shooting up as she met his gaze. “You could not have anticipated such an unlikely result. Even so, you have honor and set about to rectify the situation. You are strong, Miko. If the coward Naraku had not been so fond of his games, it should have been a simple task to regain the shards.”

“You’re right, he was a total coward. I guess there was no helping it. I’m just glad that’s all behind us,” she sighed.

“Hnn.” He looked to the trees swaying in a light evening breeze, scattering moonlight among them. He was not so sure of that.

~ ~ ~

Kagome felt much calmer now. Aside from Sesshoumaru’s stoic and calming presence, remembering her first days in the past made her realize just how far she had really come since then. It was easy to forget in these days of peace in the village. She might still have a lot to learn, but look at all that she had already been able to do! And while saving the world, to boot.

She still wasn’t so sure she had made the right decision to come back, but there was no use worrying about what might have been. She stood and dusted off her hakama.

“Thank you for listening, Sesshoumaru.”

He gave a courteous nod.

She took a few steps, but then turned back to him. “I know you’re probably out here to get away from the commotion, but we could share a drink if you’d like?” she said with a nod of her head toward the festival.

She thought he would reject her offer, but after a moment he inclined his head. “This Sesshoumaru would like to hear of your home, Miko.”

Kagome laughed internally at his grandiose manner. Always having to act above it all, even for something as simple as sharing a drink… But it made her happy to think they may be beginning to get along just a bit.

Outwardly, she smiled. “Okay, but that will probably be hard with all the noise of the festival. Why don’t I go grab us some sake and I’ll be right back?”

He sent her off with a slight flick of his chin.

Now that she was calmer, the festival looked completely different. As she strolled casually to find the sake vendor, she smiled genuinely and greeted those she saw. She still felt a bit ashamed and frustrated at her memory issues, but it was probably just a case of too many changes too quickly. I hope.

Passing through the various stalls, she saw the souvenir stand selling little Shikon no Tama charms. She started to walk past but something made her change her mind. Her smile turned a bit bittersweet. It would be nice to have one of these to remind me of Jii-chan.

Her eyes instinctively scanned for one meant for students, before she realized that they wouldn’t have them and that she had no need for one anymore anyways. Feeling strange, she glanced over the options.

She didn’t need one for protection, Inuyasha always protected her and- as she had just remembered- she wasn’t too shabby at protecting herself these days either. She also had no need for safe travels now that she lived in the village. The one for good health and protection from illness would certainly be an ironic choice. But it would also remind her of Houjou-kun, who had often bombarded her with such talismans. That boy was just too eager, she sighed to herself. She briefly eyed the charm meant to bring love, but it just felt too pathetic. She would work things out with Inuyasha on her own. Besides, if this was something she carried on her person it would be embarrassing. There was no such thing as good luck in her opinion, so that was also a pass. Ignoring the ones meant for expectant mothers and businessmen, that left just one option.

Selecting one with the word yaku-yoke on it, Kagome paid the vendor and held it up to look at a moment longer. Yes, that felt right. The original had been such a source of evil, having one meant to deflect evil was the best choice. Running her thumb over the charm, she stuck it in her sleeve and continued on to find what she had come for.

After acquiring a sake bottle and a pair of shallow dishes, Kagome spotted a stall selling dango and decided to get some of those as well. As she was ordering, a calm, familiar voice called from behind her.

“Kagome-sama, I see you’re having similar cravings to our dear Sango.”

“Miroku-sama,” she smiled. “So Sango-chan sent you to get her some, did she?”

“And of course the children want whatever Mama’s having,” he said, making a show of clutching his purse ruefully.

Laughing, Kagome patted him on the shoulder. “Such a good father! Are you enjoying the festival?”

“Of course! Why don’t you come join us?”

“Maybe in a little while,” she said, indicating the two sets of food and drink in her hands.

“Ah,” he said sagely, “off to spend some time with Inuyasha?”

“Actually, it’s strange, but Sesshoumaru and I are having a bit of a chat. I guess he’s curious about the world on the other side of the well.” It wasn’t a lie, and no one else needed to know about her little breakdown.

Miroku raised his brows, but merely said, “How interesting.”

“I’ll be sure to come hang out with you guys in a bit, okay?” She waved- or rather vaguely raised the hand holding the sake bottle- and headed back towards the forest.

She wondered what she could tell Sesshoumaru about her own time… If this were a modern victory celebration, it might be more like a fancy cocktail party, and there would be champagne instead of sake, she thought, glancing down at the bottle she carried. She wondered what champagne tasted like- she still wasn’t of age by modern standards- and now I’ll never know, she realized a bit sadly.

Shaking her head to save herself from that downward spiral, she marched herself back to where Sesshoumaru was waiting.

~ ~ ~

Sesshomaru was a bit surprised with himself for accepting the miko’s offer. Though he was decidedly curious about her home.

And it concerned him about her ability to return. Yes, that was truly worrisome. Had the foolish hanyou and the others not considered this? Perhaps they were too blind in their gladness to have her again. And perhaps a bit too content in their victory and the ensuing peace. Humans were prone to ignoring that which they did not wish to see, after all.

In any case, he may need to keep a closer eye on things here. It would not do to have Rin put in any danger. That was quite contrary to her purpose for being in the village.

Knowing the miko would be a few minutes yet, he rose and made his way leisurely over to the clearing where the well stood. There wasn’t much to be found there, however. No lingering traces of power, nor scent of any recent presence. By all appearances it was merely an unextraordinary dry old well. He leapt down into its depths, but no more information was forthcoming. With one more glance around the stony walls above him, he gave a displeased sniff and leapt out gracefully, heading back to the place the miko would be expecting him.

After several minutes he caught her scent approaching- the light sweet scent of roses and the somewhat fuller yet subtler sweetness of almond, along with the bright pine scent of her happiness. Good, that suited the miko much more than the previous bitter tang of her distress, like unripe berries.

Sitting with his back to the same tree where she had left him, he did not turn his eyes from the moon as she approached. He sensed her turn to follow his gaze, and she gave a contented sigh.

“It is so beautiful here. I’ve always loved the night sky, but back home it’s nothing compared to this. The city lights are so bright, you can only make out a few stars, really.”

“City?”

“Yep. By my time, this place is known as Tokyo, and it’s actually the capital of Japan. My family lives in a small house on a shrine near the Goshinboku and the Bone Eaters Well, but all around it are tall high-rise buildings, and a little ways downtown are enormous skyscrapers that tower into the sky- the tallest one has 70 stories!”

Surprised, he turned his attention to her. Humans had changed little in the centuries he had been alive; would they truly change so much in the few hundred years from now? “What is the purpose of such buildings?”

“Well, there’s a lot of people… more than ten million I think, living in the city. And several times that in the area surrounding it. So to make space for all the homes and businesses, they kind of had to go upwards,” she said, pointing her finger up.

That many humans in one place? He tried to imagine it. “And you climb up all of these many stories?”

She laughed softly, “Well, some people do, but mostly we use things called elevators, which are like carts that go up and down using a pulley system.”

He could see the logic in such a system. Clever.

She moved to sit near him then, setting down what she was holding and offering him a sake dish. He took it with a small incline of his head, and she filled it with sake. He filled hers in turn, and she smiled before taking a sip. Long fingers brought his own cup to his lips, and he turned to look at the sky once more.

From the corner of his eye he saw her pick up one of the sticks of dango she had brought, then she settled a bit more comfortably before speaking again. “We had all kinds of machines that do all kinds of different things. It’s really convenient and a lot are pretty cool, too. Like cars and trains- vehicles that take us around the city quickly- and planes which we use to fly anywhere in the world.”

Another surprise. Humans achieving flight. Simply incredible.

“And we’ve even been to the moon, you know,” she said gleefully.

His eyes widened and he turned to look at her again.

Her smile grew. “Yep! There’s these rockets that blast out so much power that they’re able to leave the atmosphere completely and go to space! The people who ride them, astronauts, have these special suits with canisters of air so that they can breathe and stuff.”

He gazed at the moon. He had tried to reach it once, when he was younger. He had wanted to see just how high he could go, but the air thinned so much that his youki was too unstable to propel himself further and he was unable to continue. So humans will achieve what I could not…

With a sniff, he asked, “And what of yourself, Miko? What did you do in this future of yours?”

“Well, I was still a student.”

“At your age you still had not proceeded beyond apprenticeship?” He knew the miko to be intelligent and capable, so this came as a surprise to him.

“Ah, no. Where I come from, I’m actually not considered an adult yet- not till I’m twenty years old. I wouldn’t even be able to drink this sake back home,” she said with a laugh.

“What were you in training for?”

“I had just completed high school before I came back here, that’s just general classes that everyone takes. And then I would have gone on to university where I would have chosen a career path, and depending on what that was I could have gone on to do that in a few years, or else taken several more years of schooling.”

“Your people are quite educated then,” he said, impressed.

“Yep,” she gave a proud smile. “Inuyasha and the others never really understood why I had to work so hard. He always complained when I brought out my textbooks to study while we were searching for the shards. But just because some stupid spider was being a jerk didn’t mean I could fail my classes.”

She had worked on her studies even then? “Your dedication is truly admirable.”

Her eyes lit up. “THANK you! Geez, everyone else always acted like I was crazy.” She wilted a bit. “Well, maybe I was, since I ended up coming to live back here anyways…”

“No, Miko. Bettering oneself is always a worthy endeavor.”

She blinked in surprise, then smiled warmly at him. “Thank you, Sesshoumaru.”

He gave a nod, and turned back to the sky again. The pair sat in companionable silence for a while. They continued filling their cups, and he caught the gentle maple leaf scent of her contentment bubbling up.

~ ~ ~

As they sat enjoying the sake and the sparkling stars, Kagome felt a surge of gladness. After all the anxiety of the day and all the build up of negative emotions, she never would have expected to end up having such a pleasant time, and especially not with Sesshoumaru of all people.

Glancing up at him, she wondered what he was thinking. He was always so reserved it almost seemed like he didn’t feel anything at all, but then there were rare times like tonight… He had still been reserved, but he had shown some concern for her and helped her through her distress. And now he was sharing a drink with her, and had even praised her.

Honestly, it was damn nice to have someone actually appreciate not just the hard work she had done, but also why she had done it. After weeks of nothing but major culture gaps, this one bit of understanding was an innate connection she had been missing.

As she took in the sight of his striking moonlit face, a pleasant warmth spread through her, and she put it down to the sake starting to take effect.

After a few minutes of peaceful silence between them, Kagome noticed the sounds of the festival music picking up. This would probably be the height of the night’s festivities, and before long it would all be winding down.

Stretching her arms out in front of her before returning them to her lap, she let out a happy sigh. “I told the others that I’d meet up with them, so I should probably get back there. This was... nice. Thank you, Sesshoumaru. I guess I didn’t end up telling you all that much about my time though, did I?” She hesitated a moment. “If you want, I could tell you more some other time?”

He inclined his head to her before looking back to the sky. “Go see to your friends, Miko.”

She flushed a bit- was it from happiness or embarrassment? Perhaps both. Or maybe it was just the sake.

Picking up the now empty sake decanter and cups, she left Sesshoumaru to his stargazing and made her way back towards the village. She deposited the items with the sake vendor, and set out in search of her friends.

When she reached the space set aside for dancing, Sango called out to her from across the field. With a wave, Kagome made her way over to where her friend was sitting, and joined her in watching her children. The twins were among the crowd of dancers along with Shippou, Rin, and Kohaku, trying to keep up with the bigger kids’ moves.

Kagome clasped her hands over her heart. “They are so precious!”

“Just like their mother,” Miroku said, as he and Inuyasha joined them.

“Keh! At least they aren’t pulling on my ears.” Inuyasha huffed and folded his arms into his sleeves.

Kagome laughed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head at him affectionately.

Miroku, with baby Mori cradled to his shoulder, moved to stand behind his wife, casually placing a hand on her back. Inuyasha remained a ways away, leaving the trio between himself and Kagome, looking away with a slightly uncomfortable expression.

Kagome pressed her lips together and went back to observing the crowd. It can’t be helped- I’ve only been back in the Sengoku Jidai for a short time after all. It’s only natural there’s some difficulty in resuming our relationship. I just have to give it time, right?

She wished he’d be a bit more grown-up about it, though. Why does he have to get all defensive? It seems like every time I try to talk to him about it, things end up even worse than before.

He had always been a bit prickly and had a hard time being open with his feelings, but had it really been this bad? She sighed. She’d just have to wait for him to come to her. It was starting to get tiring though.

“I remember dancing like this during celebrations back home,” Sango said with a fond, bittersweet smile.

Kagome turned her attention back to her friend. “Really? That must have been a lot of fun. Why aren’t you out there dancing too?”

“I’m surprised you aren’t, Kagome-chan.”

“Ah, well I was but… I really don’t know these dances.”

“Oh, of course.” Sango offered an apologetic smile.

After a moment, Kagome made up her mind. She looked over to her friend with a determined grin. “Will you teach me, Sango-chan?

“Eh? Me?”

“Yeah! Come on, let’s go dance!” She took Sango’s arm and led her away from their seats.

“Have fun, ladies!” Miroku called after them, waving little Mori’s arm.

They joined up with the children, and soon they were laughing and dancing and teasing each other. All her worries were temporarily forgotten. Looking into each of her companions’ smiling faces, Kagome felt so glad to be right where she was. Especially on such an occasion where everyone was together again. She’d only been back a few weeks, and since Shippou was busy with kitsune school and Kohaku was off doing his taijiya duties, she’d hardly seen either of them. Even Jaken was there, clearly bullied by Rin into dancing with them. He was squawking and making a fuss, but she could tell he was happy to be included. She smiled fondly at Kohaku, and then she grabbed Shippou into a crushing hug, suddenly overcome with feeling.

“Wah! Kagome! ” he laughed.

“I missed you, kiddo,” she beamed down at him, ruffling his hair.

He made a show of fixing his hair, but beamed right back up at her. “I missed you too, Kagome. I’m so happy you’re back. Sorry I’m gone all the time, and you have to deal with stupid Inuyasha,” he stuck out his tongue.

It was so funny how Shippou acted like he disliked Inuyasha, though she knew he really loved him and looked up to him. She suddenly thought of Souta. He idolized Inuyasha so much as a kid- No. She was not going to be sad right now. This was the time to be happy with her friends.

She poked Shippou’s cheek with a silly smile. “It’s okay, you’re off making me proud at Kitsune school.”

She wondered how Souta was doing in school- No! She shook her head, and as a new song started up, she jumped back into dancing.

Kohaku was currently impressing Rin with some moves he’d picked up on his travels. Apparently the dance was becoming quite popular in some of the big towns. Humans really never change, do they? Kagome smiled to herself, joining the others in trying to learn this new dance.

She was actually starting to get the hang of some of these dance moves, and as she got into the groove, she was caught up in the euphoria of her wonderful company and pumping blood. But at the height of her excitement, just as she was doing a little twirl, she stopped dead. For the briefest of moments she had suddenly felt that long-forgotten and all-too-familiar pull of the Shikon no Tama. She stretched out her awareness, but could feel nothing.

“Are you okay, Kagome-sama?”

Blinking, Kagome looked down into the concerned face of Rin. “Ah, yes, it’s nothing,” she assured her, smiling. Great, am I imagining things now?

The rest of her friends had also stopped dancing and looked at her with concern. “Don’t worry, I just got a little dizzy for a second. I’m fine, really.” To prove her point, she took Rin’s hands and began guiding her back into dancing again. Letting go, she continued her own dance, subtly checking to see that the others had gone back to dancing too. Breathing an internal sigh of relief, she tried to get back into the spirit of things herself.

This was all she needed on top of everything else. Memory problems, being jumpy and panicking over nothing, constant worry and sadness about her home, and now paranoia and imagining things that weren’t there?

No, she was probably just tipsy, and all that spinning and moving around had jumbled her senses, that’s all. And her nerves had already been frazzled this evening. It was so brief that now she wasn’t even sure she had felt it to begin with. And if she had felt something, well, she had been in the modern era away from any kind of magic for so long, she probably wouldn’t actually recognize the feeling of the jewel if she truly felt it. It could have been anything, really.

She cursed her traitorous mind for the zillionth time that night, and firmly set aside all thought on the matter.

~ ~ ~

After the Miko left, Sesshoumaru stayed a while gazing at the moon. He glanced down at the remaining stick of dango. She had clearly left it there for him inconspicuously. It would be a shame for it to go to waste. Picking it up gingerly, he took a bite of the sticky treat and thought on his unexpected encounter that evening.

He had learned much more about the miko than he had ever thought to. He supposed he should have realized how unique she was from the start. If he admitted it to himself, she had caught his attention during that very first meeting. How had a human survived his Dokkasou? At the time, he attributed it merely to Tessaiga’s power, re-categorizing her in his mind as an ordinary human, to his dissatisfaction. But over time she had grudgingly won his respect with her power and daring- not least of which against himself. She displayed true honor and loyalty as well.

Beyond that, he had never given her much thought, however.

Yet he now knew her to be a child of the future, educated beyond perhaps even his own level of schooling, diligent and determined. And not only possessing of her own great power, but born with that accursed jewel of power within her very body. One did not often meet creatures such as she.

When he found her earlier that night, he had been perturbed. Such a distressed state did not suit the woman. It was strange, but he found he was glad to have contributed to her improved mood.

He wanted to know more about this future of hers. He was a curious being, after all. And her company wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, she was much like Rin in her expressive antics and ability to read him without much input on his part. Yes, he believed he would be seeking out her company once more. He needed to spend more time around the village at any rate, to ensure no issue came of that well.

As he thought, he found himself wandering back towards the festival grounds. The miko was among her friends, laughing and dancing. Rin seemed to be enjoying herself as well, he noted with approval as she briefly met his eye.

He marveled at the miko’s joyful demeanor. She was truly resilient to overcome her episode of distress to already be in such high spirits. He noticed when she stopped for a moment, seeming disturbed once more, but she quickly recovered and went back to her revelry. It seemed she was not truly past those feelings, then. Yet she was doing her best not to allow them to hamper her again.

You will find your place here, Miko. If his experience with her was anything to go by, she would in fact make her own place with little problem. She was never shy to insert herself into situations which she had nothing to do with, and were even a danger to her. Making a life for herself in the village was a simple matter.

Though perhaps not with Inuyasha, he mused. The festivities were dying down and the crowd was dispersing, and the two had come together, but did not seem to be connecting well. There was indeed a sort of barrier between them as she had indicated.

Hn. It matters not to This Sesshoumaru. The time had come for him to collect his vassal and bid farewell to his ward.

~ ~ ~

The music came to an end as Kagome panted and clutched her side. “I haven’t danced so much in a long time! Thanks for teaching us Kohaku-kun, you're a great dancer!”

He smiled bashfully and cast a glance to Shippou and Rin. “I don’t know about that, Kagome-sama. But tonight was a lot of fun.”

“Hey, I wonder if there’s any more dango left?” Shippou piped up, herding Rin and Kohaku towards the stalls where the vendors were beginning to clean up, Jaken squawking after them. “Come on, let’s go guys! See you at Kaede-obaba’s, Kagome!” he called over his shoulder.

Sango put her hands on her hips and looked down at Izumi and Megumi. “Alright, it’s time for bed, you two! Say goodnight.”

“Aw, Mamma….” the girls pouted.

“But we wanna stay with Auntie Kagome!” Megumi pleaded.

“Please!” Izumi joined in.

Kagome squatted down and booped them each on the nose. “Listen to your mama, you two. We can play more tomorrow, if you want.”

“Okay…” They slumped their little shoulders. “Goodnight,” they said in unison.

“See you tomorrow, Kagome-chan.” Sango took the twins by the hand and joined her husband.

They both reached up their little hands to Miroku. “Up, Daddy, up!”

“Okay, okay,” he laughed. “Goodnight, Kagome-sama,” Miroku called as he handed the baby to his wife and lifted up the two bigger children to carry them home.

“Goodnight!” Kagome smiled at the sweet scene. She was so happy that her friends had gotten together and were able to have their happy family after everything they had been through. And she was able to be here to be a part of it. As much as she missed her home, she wouldn’t miss this for the world. She only hoped she and Inuyasha would soon do the same.

She glanced over and saw him still standing where she had left him and Miroku earlier. His ear twitched as he noticed her attention on him. She smiled and made her way over to him.

“Phew! I’m beat!” she sighed, wiping her brow.

His mouth quirked up into that cocky smile of his she loved so much. “What did you expect with all that weird waving around you were doing?”

“It wasn’t weird!” she mock-pouted, clenching her fists. “We were having fun, and it is the very latest trend, I’ll have you know,” she said, pointing a finger at him.

“That was? You humans are always coming up with weird stuff, aren’t you?” he scratched his cheek. “I can see why everything in your time is so crazy.”

Her eyes flashed with pain for an instant, before she again distanced herself from thoughts of her home.

He seemed to notice however, and his face got serious again. “You know, Kagome, you can go back.”

“No! Why would you say that, Inuyasha? You know I want to be here. With you. With everyone. We don’t even know if the well will take me home, but without the jewel I won’t risk not being able to come back here again.” She looked seriously into his eyes. “I made my decision a long time ago, you know that.” She reached out to hold his hand, but he shifted away from her.

“I know, Kagome, I just want you to be happy.” He folded his arms into his sleeves again.

The sting of rejection was building up within her again, but she refused to allow it to overcome her. Biting her lip, she ventured, “Y’know the kids were saying there might still be some dango left. Wanna go-“

“That stuff is all mushy and always gets stuck in my teeth,” he said, sticking out his tongue. “Those brats probably already got any that was left anyways.”

She resisted the urge to chastise him for calling the kids ‘brats.’ “We could go for a little stroll maybe? The moon is nice tonight. I haven’t seen you much these past few days.” A light breeze picked up, and she rubbed her arms.

His ear twitched again. “It’s the moon, the same as any other night. You should just go back to the village.”

“Okay…” If he didn’t want to hang out, there was nothing she could do. Rubbing her arms again to relieve the chill that had started to set in, she hesitated another moment. Thinking of nothing else to say, she finally bit out, “Well, goodnight.” Turning to walk away, she winced at herself. That had sounded dejected even to her ears.

It was fine. He had been off fighting youkai with Miroku-sama for most of the week, and then immediately helped with the festival as soon as he got back. He was probably just tired. He didn’t have to hang out with her all the time. She wasn’t so insecure as that.

So why did her heart hurt so much?

She paused to breathe in some fresh air, looking up to the sky for comfort. The image blurred, and she looked away, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. Stupid moon. Stupid Inuyasha… Stupid Kagome.

She took another deep breath and patted her cheeks. What she needed to do was just go back to the hut, where she knew Kaede-baachan would already be preparing some soothing tea before bed, cuddle up in the futon with her two favorite kiddos, and get some sleep. She gave a weak smile. She was so happy to have Shippou-chan back for a few days. And it was nice sharing a hut with Kaede-baachan and Rin-chan since she had been back in the Sengoku Jidai. Even if things weren’t going exactly the way she had hoped, she was still glad to be here with everyone.

With another soft glance at the moon, she took a last fortifying breath and set off towards the hut.

~ ~ ~

Sesshoumaru found his vassal and ward with the young taijiya and kit, haranguing the dango seller for scraps as the man was packing up his things.

“Rin.”

The girl brightened and rushed over to him, stopping before him in that sudden manner of hers just a few feet away.

“Did you not have your fill of sweets earlier this evening?”

She had the grace to look guilty. “Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama.”

[Cont. here]

#sesskag #inuyasha #sesskag fanfic #fates reprise #my writing #fanfic #sesshoumaru #kagome #inuyasha series

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vgperson · 4 years

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What Did I Do In 2019?

#vgperson

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ubernoxa · 4 years

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Broken Voodoo: The Story of the band that brought Rock N’ Roll back to life

Chapter 1: From the Begining

Prologue

Red, pinks, and yellow hues filled the sky as I watched the sunrise while the plane began to descend. It reminded me of one of the paintings that hung in the law office where I worked; however, instead of a small lake with a sailboat, the city of Los Angeles was staring back at me. A very intimidating city, if I may add. I would much rather have the calming lake staring back at me. Now before you begin to think that I am a lawyer with some fancy law degree, I should let you know that I am by no means a lawyer. I don’t even have a law degree, I have a two year degree in English. I performed patent research and proofread reports at the law office. Don’t get me wrong, some of the research is interesting and it's always exciting to work with inventors, especially when I help make the patent for their invention a reality. The only downside is that I hate working with lawyers who see me as a second class citizen with my English degree.

Luckily for me, the office was rather large, and my desk was far away from the condescending lawyers that filled the office. I would go about my day with ease only dealing with them for a couple of hours a day while I sat in their long boring meetings where I would constantly debate how much I actually needed this job while they would try to one up each other by playing the game I like to call ‘I am the smartest one in the room.’

I was able to keep to myself away from the lawyers for the most part, until a few months back when I thought I was going to get fired. It all started when I sat down at my desk one early Monday morning, and saw a handwritten note from my boss’s secretary saying to visit his office as soon as I arrived. Unsettling is one of the many words that came to mind when I first found the note taped to my desk. I would get fired if I said the other words that came to mind. I took one last glance around the room, making eye contact with one of my coworkers who shared a similar facial expression. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to be fired.

Dead girl walking.

“Oh Andi, I am glad you could join me,” I sent a soft smile to my boss as I closed the large wooden shrieking doors behind me.

“No problem at all, the meeting seemed important, so I moved my calendar around,” I replied, making sure to keep my hands under the table. They weren't shaking, they were trembling. I was terrified by not only the eyes that were now watching me through the large glass wall that he had in his office to make it a ‘friendlier’ environment, but also by the fact that I may be fired in the next ten minutes.

“Do you still play guitar?”

I could feel a confused look flash across my features as he spoke.

“Yeah, helps me relax after a long day. Why?” My mind was racing in circles trying to understand why he had asked me to come to his office first thing in the morning.

“Would you be interested in playing in a band?”

I let a nervous laugh escape me before I replied. “I am sorry what? Did you call me here to fire me or not?”

I was met with a hardy laugh from my boss. “No no no, to make an incredibly long story short, my niece’s boyfriend’s band entered into some silly band competition, and they need a replacement guitarist for a competition that is in a month. I have heard rumors around the office that you played, and I wanted to see if you could help out my niece. To be honest, I haven’t been the best godfather, so I was hoping you could help me out by joining the band for a month to play at the competition. My niece, such a foolish girl, believes that her boyfriend will become the next rockstar.I hope she quickly realizes how irrational she is being, and moves on. Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah I would love to help,” I quickly responded, trying to hide how off put I was by his casual nature towards me. Within a couple of days I was Skyping the band for an interview and the rest is history.

I was pulled from my thoughts as the pilot announced that we had landed and welcomed us all to LA, the city of dreams. An older man helped me remove my carry on from the overhead bins, and after what felt like hours, I was off the plane. I felt like I could finally breathe again the moment I stepped off the pain and walked into the airport.

I watched through the skylight as the sun continued to rise, as if mocking me that I was still in the airport. Lucky for me, everything I needed was in my backpack and after a quick debate with the flight attendant who said I couldn’t bring my guitar as a carry on, I didn’t have to go to baggage claim. One of the few perks of working with lawyers and doing law research for a living is that I came prepared with a printed section of the FFA Reform act that said I could which quickly shut her up.

I kept my eyes peeled as I followed herds of people who appeared to be leaving. I felt like I was in pandora's labyrinth weaving through the various waiting areas, food courts, and shops. This airport must have been at least ten times larger than the one in Maine. I felt relief fill me as I finally spotted some familiar faces.

I spotted Jax’s blonde hair first as he towered over several of the people around him. Holy shit, at 5 ft 4 inches, I was going to look like a munchkin standing next to him. He stuck out like a sore thumb as he stood next to a smiley Robin in his leather pants with a jean vest. I guess shirts were not required in LA like how they are in Maine. He sent me a wave which I quickly returned as he motioned for us to meet off to the side, and not in the herd of people that were looking for relatives or loved ones.

I only knew three things about Jax.

He was currently dating Robin, but after talking to him over Skype during band meetings, I wondered how long that would last.

He was a charismatic and a good dancer, just like every lead singer in rock band before him

He may not look like it, but he had the voice of an angle from the heavens above.

I smiled at the small sign that Robin was holding that said ‘Welcome to California Andi’.. I felt underdressed in my athletic shorts, hoodie, and sneakers as I approached the pair, secretly wishing that I had worn a sundress similar to Robin.

“Welcome to LA, is it everything you hoped for?” Jax smiled as he welcomed me.

“It’s sunnier than Maine,” I replied once again looking at one of the hundreds of skylights.

“Well it’s good to finally meet you in person, let’s get going to the car, so we can get the fuck out of here,” I nodded at his words. Getting the fuck out of the overpacked busy airport felt amazing. For the past 9 hours I had felt like a sardine in a can. I craved fresh air.

“Here let me take that,” I cautiously eyed Robin as I handed her my guitar case.

“How was the flight?” She chirped walking by my side as we followed Jax to the parking garage.

“Can’t complain much. I had to fight the flight attendant about having my guitar as a carry on, but I won in the end. She was a bitch to me the entire flight though,” I replied earning a small giggle from Robin.

“How did you manage that?” I had assumed Jax had tuned Robin and I out as we made it to his truck.

“Law says I can bring it as a carry on, so I printed out the section I needed. Once I handed the paper to her she shut up. I hate causing problems, but there is no way I was ‘gate checking’ my guitar. I didn’t want some random guy tossing it around on the tar mat, or watching my baby slide down the luggage ramp before it slammed into a wall,” I quickly replied before hopping in the back seat.

“So I have to ask, what is it like working for my uncle?” Robin was currently sitting shotgun, as Jax backed up the truck and began to leave the spaghetti jungle that was the parking lot.

“I honestly only talked to him twice. The first was on my first day at work when he introduced himself to me. The second was when he asked me if I could help Broken Voodoo out which by the way I thought he was going to fucking fire me when he called me to his office,” I laughed at myself thinking back to the moment only a month ago.

“Ohh Sorry about that Andi.”

“Don’t worry Robin,” I smiled back, earning one in return.

“So the plan for this morning is to drop you off at my place to get some additional practice with the rest of the band while I head up north to check us into the competition. We won’t be playing until day two so we don’t have to get there until tomorrow night,” He said as he pulled up into some random parking spot.

“Don't you need to practice with us?” I asked out of curiosit.

“Honey, don't worry about me. I'm so good I don't need to practice,” I was glad we were walking up a creaky staircase as he replied. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor. I was impressed by him and his ego could fit through the small doorway that led to his apartment. No, it was not an apartment. It was a studio. I placed my guitar by the drums and other instruments that took up half of the studio.

“Hey Andi! Welcome to California!” I turned to see Oli shout across the studio the moment he saw me. Before I could respond, someone threw something across the room at Oli.

“Shut the fuck up, Oli. It is too early for you to be this loud,” I didn't have to see the bassist’s face to know Seb was the one over in the corner on the paper thin mattress.

“Oli, Robin and I gotta head out to sign in and get our backstage passes for the competition. Get to practicing to get her ready,” Jax said before leaving the pathetic excuse of an apartment.

“Don’t worry Andi, I have heard you play countless times, you’ll do fine. It is more of the stage presence we are worried about. We should have plenty of ‘stage presence’ with that throwing trick you came up with, but we have to cover the whole stage,” Oli patted my back as we headed over towards his drum kit.

“I’ve been practicing with the rod you sent a few weeks back, we can practice the trick once we get our instruments good to go. We sound the part, now we have to look the part,” Seb paused as he took a second to look me over. The worst part wasn’t that he was being incredibly obvious he was checking me out, the worst part was the unsatisfactory look he had on his face.

“You don’t look like a rocker,” I scoffed at his comment. Of course I didn't look like a rocker. I just got off of a nine hour flight.

“Well, you look like a complete dick, so at least one of us is dressed appropriately,” I sassed back before moving towards my guitar to retune it.

“Alrighty!” I was brought from my tuning by Oli who was once again playing peacekeeper by breaking the silence and clapping his hands.

“Alot is at stake here, so let's get to practicing,” he added once he was seated behind his drum kit.

Seb counted us in, and we began our setlist from the top.

I brushed off Seb’s comment, and began to focus on the music.i could already feel the pressure to perform perfectly. As a rhythm guitarist, playing as the solo guitarist felt foreign. As we played through our setlist, I tried loosening out by copying some of Seb’s dance moves. I chose not to mimic the ones that looked like just sex.

Oli was right, there was a lot at stake here.

I was surprised when I found out that there was no cash prize. Instead, according to Jax, there was something more valuable. The shot at a record deal.

With this competition only happening once every couple years, this was their shot to make it big.

#fanfiction #fanfic #gnr fanfiction #gnr fanfic #guns n’ roses fanfic #guns n’ roses fanfiction #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue fanfic #skid row fanfic #skid row fanfiction #rockfic #rock n’ roll fanfic #rock n’ roll fanfiction

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risingfire17-the-weeb-trash · 4 years

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The Ones Who Walk Away- Ch 1-Sunday School Shenanigans

Prologue to a YooSeven fic I’m working on. Premise is they met as kids but didn’t remember at first when they meet again as teens. They become best friends who both want something more but Seven’s not going to let the mess he’s caught up in hurt his precious cinnamon roll! Prologue depicts their first meeting, when they are 10 and 11. YooSeven fluff!

The first time I met Seven, I was ten years old. He looked about my age, but the similarities ended there. He hopped over the fence of the church play yard and landed right in front of me. I had been shocked, like any normal child would have, but he had just flashed me an excited grin that lit up the golden eyes under his over-sized glasses and slapped his palm over my mouth.

“Shh, I’m playing hide-and seek! Don’t get me caught, kay?” When I could only give him a stunned nod, he smiled even wider and led me into the bushes below the brick wall leading to the main church, the hand that had covered my mouth now holding mine.

I hadn’t played in bushes like this in a long time, and the fact that I was now doing so in my Sunday best with boy I just met…it seemed like it should be bad, but I was excited. I started to giggle. The boy covered my mouth again.

“We have to be quiet, remember? Or we lose!” His face so close to mine and his voice a giddy whisper made me feel excited, like I was part of something cool. I looked into his dancing golden eyes and nodded enthusiastically.

“Good boy.” He returned my smile with one of his own as he ruffled my hair. His praise made me want to do whatever he asked, even if it meant messing up the hair my cousin Rika had spent so long slicking down for church.

“I’m gonna check if the coast is clear.” He slowly poked his head out of the bush and looked in the direction of the main church, and I followed suit. The priest was talking to a group of elderly church members. Rika was talking to a group of church ladies, probably about the upcoming bake sale they had been talking about all month. Two huge men in black suits and sunglasses were approaching Rika’s group. I had never seen them before, but they looked so cool, like something out of a spy movie! I was going to ask my new friend if he wanted to go meet them, but he grabbed my hand and yanked me in the other direction, toward the gate at the back of the church yard. I caught him muttering “she should take care of it.”

I pulled on his hand still gripping mine as we reached the gate. “We’re not supposed to go outside! And besides, the gate is locked, and kids don’t know the code!”

“It’ll be fine, trust me!” he said with a wink. As he said, the gate was unlocked! He hadn’t even put in a code! He slipped out and started to close the gate behind him. “Thanks, that was fun!” Wait. This boy was leaving? Just like that? I was possessed with the need to talk to this enigmatic boy some more, to understand just what had happened!

“Wait! Where are you going? I shoved myself into the gate to stop him closing it and grabbed his wrist. For the first time, he looked shocked. He yanked his arm back so hard I lost my grip, but not before I’d been forced through the gate, which closed behind me. I was outside! How much trouble would I get in?

He looked through the gate, past the empty play yard where adults were starting to file into the main church. He looked back at me with a playful smirk and held out his hand. “Wanna find out?”

As we half skipped, half jogged through the streets behind the church, he a pace ahead of me with my hand firmly in his, I stared at his back and wondered just how I had ended up here with someone like him. Like I said, he looked about my age, but other than that, he was nothing like me.

I was a good child, I guess. I studied hard. In fact, I had the best grades in my class. I didn’t boast though. I actually barely talked to anyone. It’s not that I didn’t care for people. I just wasn’t very good at talking to them. So I stuck to studying. Rika had started bringing me to church with her sometimes, hoping I would talk to some of the other kids there. But instead I hid by myself in the play yard until church started, and when the other kids took it over after church, I silently followed Rika until we left. I guess I was a pretty shy child.

I think the other kids thought I didn’t talk to them because I was mean. At least, that’s what they said when they whispered about me. I was too scared to even correct them, so I just let them say it and hid away by myself.

This boy was completely different. Everything about him seemed to glow like he was born to be admired. It wasn’t just the bright red curls or the twinkling golden eyes, though those certainly drew the eye. It was his entire demeanor. The way he stood tall, the light and carefree way he ran, the way he so calmly jumped that fence into my life and pulled me into this game of his. His strong hand that boldly led me through the streets. The way, every time he turned to check on me, his eyes danced like his feet, and his lips curled into a reassuring smirk, like nothing could possibly go wrong in his game. This boy was 100% different from me, brimming with a confidence that I could just not get enough of.

When we finally slowed to a walk, I no longer knew where we were, and my stomach started to tighten a bit. But I reminded myself that my new friend knew what he was doing. Wait. Was he a friend? I didn’t even know his name. Well, I guess it was time to start making a friend.

“What’s your name?”

“Three guesses.”

“Huh”

The boy turned to me, brushing his red curls out of his eyes which now danced with the mirth of a new game. “Three chances to guess my name. Isn’t it fun!”

“And if I don’t get it in three guesses you won’t tell me?”

“Yep!”

“But that’s impossible! That’s not fair!” I may have started to whine a bit, and I swear his smirk softened just a little.

“All right, fine. I’ll give you a hint. It’s in the Bible. Hope you paid attention in Sunday school!” He giggled, and I wondered if it was because I was currently skipping Sunday school.

“There’s a lot of names in the Bible.” I pouted.

“So?”

“Ugh, Old or New Testament?”

“Old.”

“All right…um…Noah?” He looked like the kind of person who would want to be on a boat with an entire zoo.

“Nope! Strike one!” he shouted gleefully. “Two more!”

“Ummmm…” I wracked my brain for a Bible name common among Korean parents. “Um, David?”

“Nope! Strike two! One more!”

I was starting to get really nervous, like the way I did on a test when I didn’t know the answer. I was starting to sweat. He may have noticed and took pity on me, because he gave me another hint. “It’s like the least common name in the Bible, oh and in church they probably told you he’s a bad guy!”

“A bad guy? I know! Jezebel!”

He stared at me for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. “Jezebel’s a woman, silly! Strike three!”

My heart sank and tears threatened my eyes. I had always been a crybaby. But before they could come out, the redhead grabbed my hand again and pulled me toward what looked like a corner store. “Ah, here! Let’s get some snacks!” He pulled some coins from his pocket and forced them into my hand. “Go inside and get us a bag of Honey Buddha Chips!”

“What’s that?”

“Only the best snack known to mankind! I’ve been saving forever for them!”

“Wait. Why aren’t you going in with me?”

“It’s a secret!” He patted my head with his strong hand, and I felt warm inside despite my hesitation. “Don’t worry, I won’t run off while you’re in there! Promise!” He took my hand and wrapped his pinky finger around mine as he flashed me one of those smiles that I was learning would probably get me to do anything.

“O-okay.”

As I followed this boy to wherever we were going next, we passed the bag of Honey Buddha Chips between us. He was right; these chips were amazing! My parents didn’t let me eat food like that; they said it was bad for me. I did well enough in science to know that they were right, but that didn’t stop me from deciding they were more than welcome in my life! I looked at this strange boy who had jumped the fence to my church in a faded hoodie, tattered jeans, and oversized glasses and convinced me to skip Sunday school and concluded my parents would probably say he’s bad for me too. My stomach tingled with excitement as I decided he was as welcome in my life as those chips.

I noticed he was barely eating, which was odd, seeing how excited he had been for them in the first place. I decided to ask him why.

“Ah…I want to save some!”

“For what?”

His face lit up with one of his huge goofy smiles. “To remember our trip by, of course!”

“What’s the point if they go bad, though?”

“Ummmm…” For once, this strangely confident boy didn’t seem to know what to say.

“Isn’t it better to eat them together before they go bad?”

He stopped and patted my head again. “I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh. “I’m happy to eat these with you; really I am, but there’s someone else I want to share them with too.”

“Wow! Why didn’t you just tell me? Who is it?”

His toothy grin was back. “Well…it’s my mommy!”

In that moment, I decided this boy couldn’t be too much different from me. He wanted to make his mom happy just like I wanted to do for mine! I was now finding this boy to be really…sweet. Of course I wasn’t going to say that. I wasn’t great at talking to people, but I knew that wasn’t something kids said to each other! Instead I just laughed and told him I hoped his mom like them as much as I did.

He smiled a much softer smile than his previous ones, and it somehow looked even nicer than the others. When he caught me staring up at him, he took my hand again and pulled me around the corner. His face lit up as he pointed to our destination: a park at the end of the road. He started running again, and, my hand still in his, I followed him.

We ran around the playground having the time of our lives until we collapsed exhaustedly on the grass. We lay side by side, on our backs, naming the clouds in the sky for common objects and animals. After he found one that looked like a cross, I asked him if he went to church.

“Nah, too much sitting still for me!”

“Then why did you come to my church today?”

“I told you; I was playing hide-and-seek!”

“What happened to the people you were playing with?”

“They…they gave up and went home because I was too good!”

“You mean…you left them? But…wouldn’t they miss you?” I took my eyes from the sky to fix him with a stare that was supposed to be scolding but probably just looked sad. Because if he would ditch the friends he was playing tag with, wouldn’t he ditch me too?

“Nah, they were being mean to me! That’s why I wanted to hide! They weren’t nice like you are!”

I could feel my face grow hot at his compliment. I loved compliments, but I never knew how to respond to them. Instead, I just asked him, “who would be mean to you?”

He flashed me a grin, and I knew what he was going to say before he said it. “That’s a secret!” He sure did have a lot of secrets. But at least he told me when he didn’t want to tell me something, instead of just lying about it.

Then he sat up and held out his hand, which I took before even asking him where we were going. I didn’t have to though, because he told me “it’s time to get you back to church before anyone notices you’re gone!”

As I followed him, trusting him to know the way back to my church because I sure didn’t, I tried to wrap my mind around this enigma of a boy. He didn’t go to church, but he had somehow known that the gate that was always locked would be unlocked. He hid from someone just to take a complete stranger to play with him. He’d rather send someone to buy the chips who knew nothing about them than go in himself. He was so calm and confident, loud and carefree, but it seemed almost like he was…hiding from someone? Had he gotten in trouble?

Maybe. He seemed like the type who would get into mischief. Nothing too bad. Maybe a prank gone too far? Or a game that went out of control?

Still, he was a kind boy with a smile that could calm any fear. He seemed not to have much, but he shared what he did have. And if he got someone in trouble, he helped them get out of it. So hence him leading me back to church. This boy was an enigma, for sure, but…I wanted to trust him. I wanted to be his friend.

So when we approached the church, its parishioners still packed inside but communion bells telling they wouldn’t be for long, and the redhead started to walk back the way they had come, I ran after him and grabbed his wrist. He yanked again, this time yanking me into him. He caught me by the shoulders and steadied me before I fell.

“What are you doing?”

“My name is Yoosung! Yoosung Kim! I want to be your friend!” I held out my hand for him to shake. He gave me another one of those soft smiles, but this one looked sad. He shook my hand and then turned away again. Or at least tried to, because I grabbed the sleeve of his hoodie.

“Wait!” He turned toward me again. “What’s your name?”

He paused, opened his mouth and then closed it. He grinned, but it didn’t look as happy as the ones before. “Aw, come on, you lost our guessing game, remember? No freebies!”

My voice cracked as I asked, “but how can we be friends if you won’t tell me your name?! This whole time…did you not think of us as friends?” I hung my head so he couldn’t see my tears. My hand started to fall from his hoodie.

Then he slipped his fingers under my chin and propped me up to look at him. I thought he was going to make fun of me, or yell at me, or anything but what he did. He leaned forward, and…touched his mouth to mine.

My body suddenly felt way too warm with the knowledge that what was happening was not supposed to happen. Well, no one had told me that, per se, but it was one of those things everyone knew. Children’s kisses were for the cheeks of mommies and aunties and grannies, oh and little babies. Children didn’t kiss each other on the mouth like that. And this was another boy too! That had to be worse!

But all I could think was how happy I was that this boy didn’t seem to hate me. And how light and fluffy I felt on the inside when he was that close to me. And how I wanted to see him again.

When he pulled away, I stood flush-faced and wide-eyed, unable to take my eyes off him. “I’m sorry I can’t tell you my name. It really is a secret. But I like you, okay? So please don’t cry.” He smoothed my hair into place, his touch and his smile so gentle I couldn’t argue.

The bells were ringing again. Church was out. I had to get back now. He gave me a gentle push toward the church.

“Will I ever see you again?”

“I hope so.” This time he gave me no chance to stop him again as he turned and ran away, leaving the ghost of his warmth on my body, a ghost that would haunt me for a long time.

When Miss Eun told Rika I had not been in Sunday school, stealing glares at me as I hid behind my cousin, I fully expected a public lecture. I did not expect for Rika to apologize profusely for forgetting to tell Miss Eun that I was working on a special project for the bake sale and that I wouldn’t be attending Sunday school today. She was lying and I knew it, and going by the scowl on Miss Eun’s face, she didn’t believe it either. But to his relief, she let the issue fall.

Soon after, Rika announced that it was time for her to return me to my parents’ house. As soon as we were in her car, she asked where I’d been. And I couldn’t lie to her. Not to Rika. She was probably the most important person to me other than my parents. She listened to me when I cried, comforted me and told me it was okay to take things at me own pace, and gave me a world through volunteering where even I could make people smile. I couldn’t repay her with lies.

I admitted to meeting that strange red-haired boy who jumped the fence and took me out to play, that strange boy who smiled and played games and shared food but would not say his name. How he had pulled me into a game of hide-and-seek, how he had somehow made the gate open! I left out only the kiss, because that felt too…strange to tell anyone. It wasn’t exactly lying, but it wasn’t telling the whole truth either. My stomach was twisting. If this was what a secret felt like, how could that boy hold so many?

Rika listened while I told her the whole story. When I was done, she sighed and said “Oh, Yoosung. I didn’t think you would lie to me like that.”

I panicked. Did she somehow know about the kiss? How? She should have been in church at the time! But then, I should have too. I hung my head.

“Yoosung, I know you’re afraid to talk to other children, but if it’s so bad you felt like you had to skip Sunday school, you should have told me, not hide and then lie to me about it!”

Wait. Rika…didn’t believe me? But she knows I would never lie to her! But my stomach started to twist again, and I wondered if that was really true. But I wasn’t making this up!

“Yoosung, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yes, Rika! And I’m telling you, there really was a boy!” She stopped the car and looked at me with hardened eyes I had never seen on her before. She spoke in a harsh voice, so unlike her:

“That boy does not exist.”

She started driving again and her voice returned to normal. “Yoosung, it’s not healthy at your age to have imaginary friends. If you can’t talk to other kids, then please talk to me. Please? I promise; you can tell me anything.”

I knew there was no point arguing with her anymore, even if I couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Yes, Rika. I’m sorry.”

Rika kissed my forehead and promised she wouldn’t tell my parents about today as long as I forgot about my imaginary friends and worked on making real ones. We never talked about that day again. And she didn’t take me to her church again for a very long time, even when I asked.

I did work hard on making friends. By the time I was finishing middle school, I wasn’t the most popular kid, but I had classmates I got along well with. It took a long time, but I finally buried the memory of that mysterious red-haired boy, and with it, a lot of confusing thoughts.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger fanfiction #yoosung kim #luciel choi #yooseven #yoosung x seven #childhood au #childhood friends #childhood crush

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