#the reason why I loved it for the most part

[bbydoll18xx]

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

Paige Bueckers x reader

KK tries to set you up on live, and things between you and Paige go south.

Word Count: 1.7k

Themes: angst, maybe some fluff?

This is heavily inspired by my love life, so yes, please feel free to feel bad for me thanks xoxo

~

“And oh, my god, he was so fucking stupid,” you exclaim exasperatedly, your longwinded rant having no ending in sight. “Like you’re literally in college and you can’t even hold a basic conversation? And don’t even get me started on his fucking mustache,” you add, gagging dramatically for good measure.

Hands were flying in the air as you spoke, and the girls of UCONN’s women’s basketball team listened amusedly as you complained about your latest failure of a date. You had promised yourself you’d get back out into the dating world after your two year relationship with your high school sweetheart had ended, but that was nearly three years ago. And now that you had gone through every stage of grief and were now (mostly) mentally stable again, you had begun dating to find ‘the one.’ 

However ‘the one’ seemed to be hiding among the frat boys and useless idiots you had been spending your friday and saturday nights with for the last six months. And you were quickly growing tired of their bullshit. 

“And then,” you dragged out the word theatrically, leaning forward to the group of girls listening, “he told me he wanted to do a line of cocaine off my ass! Like who even says that?”

The girls erupt in a fit of giggles and gasps, disturbed by your most recent date. 

You shake your head in mild embarrassment and place your head in your hands. “I can’t do this anymore,” you sigh, trying to avoid Paige’s stare. 

She was always staring, as if she could tell what you were thinking. And to be honest, it freaked you out because if she actually knew what you were thinking, you’d be in some deep shit.

You had feelings for Paige from the first day you had met her, and the battle was certainly an uphill one at that. A little voice in your head whispered mockingly that the reason you had been going on all these dates was to distract yourself from the harsh reality that Paige was just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And it really fucking stung. 

KK cuts through the silence, placing a soothing hand on your back. “I know what to do,” she says with a knowing smile. You meet her smirk with a confused look, wondering what the younger girl had in mind. “Let’s go on live and find you a boo!” she exclaims, clapping her hands together.

The other girls erupt in laughter at the idea, nodding their heads in agreement. The only one who is uncharacteristically quiet is Paige, who has a funny look on her face. Her nose scrunches slightly, and because you had spent years memorizing every part of Paige, including her moods and facial expressions, you would almost say she looked pissed.

Glancing back over to KK, you let out another long sigh, throwing your hands in the air defeatedly. “Sure, why the hell not?” 

She whoops excitedly, grabbing her phone and propping it up on the table in front of where the two of you were sitting. She clicks on the live, and it was not long before hundreds of people were flooding in with comments. 

“Hey, y’all!” KK greets the fans with a small wave and a huge grin. You try to hold back a grin of your own, but her excitement was infectious, and you felt grateful that your friends cared about fixing your sham of a love life. 

“We’ve got a special guest tonight,” KK explains, and you wave shyly at the camera. You typically did not love all the attention, and you tended to stay in the background when the other girls would go live. 

“Okay, so boom, we are looking for a date for my girl over here,” KK begins, explaining the situation to the people on the live. “Serious inquiries only!” She adds, wagging a finger towards the camera. “She is precious, and some of y’all are straight up freaks.”

You giggle at her words, trying to read the comments. Many of them we’re trying to gauge your sexuality, and upon reading another ‘is she gay’ comment, you decide to clarify. 

“I’m bisexual,” you murmur shyly. It had been nearly 6 years since you had realized you like girls, yet you still struggled with enunciating the fact. 

“Oh girl, they love you,” KK sings, patting herself on the back for her idea. “How about if y’all have some talent, join the live and woo my girl.”

Paige has since moved from her chair opposite you to sit next to you on the couch. Her leg is pressed up against yours, the warmth of her body radiating onto yours, and you bite your lip. 

“Yeah, yeah Paige is here. This ain’t about blondie today,” KK scolds the fans. “Now I want to see some good talent.” 

You turn your head to look at Paige, and she rolls her eyes at KK. “KK, don’t be mean to them,” she laughs, waving to the live. 

In your head you’re thinking that you honestly can’t even blame the fans. Paige was hot. You wanted to see her too. 

KK lets in the first girl, who upon seeing Paige, shrieks and throws her phone onto the carpet of her bedroom. You laugh, and KK lets out a huff of annoyance, deleting her immediately and moves on to find another person.

“This one seems promising,” she mutters, and you play with a piece of hair nervously. Being in front of the camera felt ridiculous, and you wonder how you got yourself into this situation. You are quickly pulled out of your thoughts by another young girl, desperately trying to serenade you and the other girls with a song. You try your best to avoid cringing, but the performance left you with bad secondhand embarrassment. 

A whole twenty minutes pass before someone promising pops up on the screen. A girl about your age with long dark hair and piercing green eyes is waving flirtatiously at the screen, causing you to sit up a little straighter. Next to you, Paige stiffens, and your eyes flit to her on KK’s phone, jaw clenched in a way that has your stomach rolling. You look down and notice her hand was closed in a fist, the other picking at a piece of lint on the couch. 

You avert your eyes back to the girl who was still smiling widely, and you make casual smalltalk with her, feeling warm from the attention of a pretty girl.

Comments are flooding in, and while you’re glad to see that many of them are about what a cute couple you and the mystery girl would make, you also notice an influx in comments regarding how mad Paige looked.

Before you could look over to check on her, she was flying off the couch and stomping out of the room. You hear her door close loudly, and you meet KK’s eye with a confused look. Paige’s departure has the fans going wild, and you whisper to the younger girl that she should end the live. 

“Okay, y’all, we gotta go. Feel free to DM her, though,” KK tells the dark-haired girl with a devilish grin, and she signs off quickly.

“What the fuck was all that about?” you ask no one in particular, eliciting shrugs from Aubrey, Ice, and Jana. 

“She’s been moody all day,” Aubrey says casually, and you pout, thinking about your best friend who was clearly unhappy about something.

“I’ll go check on her,” you mutter, heading towards the closed door of Paige’s bedroom. Standing in front of it, you take a deep breath before knocking.

“Come in,” you hear her mutter, and you enter the dark room, the only light shining from the tv and reflecting off the glassiness of Paige’s eyes. 

You sit on her bed next to her, placing a comforting hand on her thigh. “What’s wrong?” you ask gently, not wanting to spook her. She rarely opened up about the way she was feeling, and you did not want to rush her into admitting anything if she wasn’t ready.

She shrugs, quickly wiping at her eyes, and your heart nearly crumbles at the sight. You rub soothing circles onto her leg and reach up to wipe a stray tear from her cheek. The intimacy of it all is almost overwhelming, and you bite your bottom lip to keep in the feelings bubbling inside of you, threatening to expose everything.

“Just tired,” Paige mumbles, and you peek at her face, studying the beauty of her features. 

Your phone lights up in your hand, alerting you to a DM you had just received from the girl from the live, and you attempt to hold back a wide smile at her boldness. Paige looks down at your screen as you text the girl, Scarlett, back with a giddy expression. 

“I’m going to go to bed,” she says coldly, already moving to get under the covers. 

“Want me to stay?” You ask hopefully, trying to sound casual. Sleepovers between the two of you had become a cherished ritual, and you needed the simple proximity to make you feel whole again. 

“Nah,” she replies flatly, eyes closed and back turned in harsh finality. 

“O-oh, okay. Well, goodnight,” you stutter, temporarily stunned at her poignancy, and you flee her room with your head hung low in rejection.

“Is she okay?” KK asks. You don’t even know how to answer that.

“I have no clue what her deal is,” you mumble. “She’s never not wanted me around, so I think I’m just going to go. I’ve got a girl to get to know,” you add, trying to make yourself feel better.

“We’ll let you know if anything happens,” Ice responds kindly, and you nod gratefully in her direction before you take your leave.

You ignore the anxiety as you walk back home, instead focusing on the flirty messages Scarlett was sending to you. ‘This is what I need,’ you think. Paige was never going to be yours, and now you finally had a real chance at getting over her. 

With your head held high, you vowed that your feelings for Paige Bueckers would disappear. But would they really? Time could only tell. 

~

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you would be interested in a second part to this!!

[simplyholl]

Happily Never After Pt. 1

Summary: A marriage proposal from Prince Loki is every princess's dream come true, except for yours.

Pairing: Asgard Loki x F. Reader

Warnings: Smut. Minors DNI. 18+ ONLY. Loss of Virginity.

W/C: 3.4K

A/N: This will be two parts!

See My Masterlist Here

"Married to Prince Loki?!" You shriek. It was the most absurd thing you had ever heard. "Stop being dramatic, dear. You two are very close. Since Prince Thor is already promised, this is the best match we could secure. Your father and I thought you would be happy considering he is your friend, and not a stranger."

"We used to be close! That was ages ago! I loathe him, mother. This is unfair. I would rather marry a stranger." You protest, wiping your sweaty palms on your long gown as you pace the room. "Why do you hate him? We just visited them last week." She tries to reason with you.

"You said yourself he was your best friend. Do you not recall the tears you shed when your father forbid you from spending time with him unchaperoned?" She pours herself more tea, waiting for your reply. "Yes, well he was my best friend. He's a different person now. I barely know him." You look out of your window, the palace in clear view of your own estate.

Your father was king of a neighboring realm, when the ogres attacked, forcing your family to seek safety in Asgard. You were welcomed with open arms. Frigga and your mother became fast friends. Odin relied on your father's knowledge of the other realms' customs, so he became valuable to him. Frigga invited your mother for tea every day. She insisted your mother bring you along since she had two boys close to your age you could play with.

Thor was older, more focused on playing rough with the other boys. He never paid attention to you. Loki was only a year older than you. You often found him reading under a tree instead of playing. He didn't notice you at first until you insisted the older boys let you play. Volstagg accidentally knocked you to the ground.

When Loki heard you crying, he stood up for you even though Volstagg towered over all of you. He was an unusually large child. Loki brought you to his favorite hiding place. Deep in the woods behind the palace there was a treehouse. He explained that he often came there for solace. It was built for Odin thousands of years ago when he was a child.

Thor didn't like to play there because it was too far from the palace. He thought he would get in trouble. One evening, Loki lost track of time and fell asleep in the treehouse. When he was finally found, Frigga had the place cleaned up, so it wouldn't be dangerous. Ever since that day, you and Loki were inseparable. You used the treehouse as a secret lair for you two to spend time alone.

The other children didn't play with you. They only played with Loki because they were scared of Odin. You understood each other completely. You would make up stories and put on one person plays to share your creativity. You grew up together. It went from playing as children, to hiding out in the tree house after mandatory appearances at balls. You despised when your father wanted you to meet other royals. He would force you to dance with their sons. After two dances, you and Loki would slip away to your private place.

You would laugh about the cheesy things they said to impress you. You would never forget the first time your heart skipped a beat. You were laughing about the visiting prince who told you your gown was lovely. It was the most hideous shade of lime green the seamstress could find. You had requested it that way, so you could hide your beauty. You wiped tears of laughter from the corners of your eyes as you told Loki your reasoning for the unpleasing color.

"You should have known you couldn't hide beauty like yours even in that atrocious gown." His sentiment made you blush, your heart stopped beating as he held your gaze. His eyes lingered on your lips for a few seconds too long. You were sure he was going to kiss you. You closed your eyes in anticipation, feeling his face draw closer to yours. Then you were interrupted by Thor bellowing down below. Your father was looking for you.

You wouldn't be allowed out of his sight if he caught you out there. When you got home, you wrote everything down in your diary. How Loki had made you feel beautiful for the first time in your life, how you wished Thor and your father would have waited moments longer. The next day your father called you into his study, your diary in hand. Oh, how you wished the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

"I forbid you to see him ever again." Your father's stern words instantly made you cry. Loki was everything to you. You couldn't lose him. You told him it was just a silly crush. That what you had written was just a fantasy you made up. He finally believed your lies, but now you couldn't be with him unless you were chaperoned.

Hundreds of years went by, you were as close as ever. You still found your way around the chaperones. You would sneak out at night meeting at the treehouse. You would stay up half the night together laughing as you did when you were children. He would have you back in your bed before sunrise. You always thought it was unfair that you had to be chaperoned, but Loki could do as he pleased.

Then came your first heartbreak. A visiting prince had met you at one of Frigga's balls. He immediately asked your father to court you. You were devastated. You didn't want to be courted. You were happy with your life. But your father couldn't wait to marry you off. But the more time you spent with the prince, the more you liked him. He had dark hair and blue eyes, sometimes you pretended he was Loki.

But he wasn't and there was your whole problem. No one would compare to Loki. But if you had to marry someone, at least the prince was nice. The prince would often find you with Loki going on strolls through the gardens, eating, and reading in silence. One evening, he visited your estate. He said he wanted to end this courtship. You couldn't think of anything you did wrong. He explained that he was certain your affection lied elsewhere, and he wanted to be the only man in his future bride's life. You didn't understand what he had meant, but you thanked him. You were free once again.

Then the latest scandal sheet was delivered by your maid. It mentioned how you and the prince were getting close. You rolled your eyes, thankful that was over. But when you reached the last paragraph, your whole world shattered. Prince Loki had been seen at the brothel three times this week. Not only that, but he had been caught with an unnamed maid in his mother's garden.

It wasn't uncommon for royalty to fuck around like whores, but this truly wounded you. You cried for a week after it came out. Your mother thought you were upset over the prince ending your courtship, so she explained there would be other princes. You didn't visit Loki for three months after the scandal sheet came out.

Another one hundred years passed, and you had grown used to Loki's womanizing. You were at the market, Loki carrying your basket filled with trinkets, winking at the unsuspecting maidens. He made note of the ones he wanted to bed later. You rolled your eyes, as you handed your coins to the shopkeeper, peeling the orange you just purchased.

"Really Loki, can you go one minute without finding four new lovers?" You joked. "Jealous?" He smirked. "Of course not, don't be ridiculous." "The only reason you are not overcome with jealousy is because you do not know what I am capable of carnally." The bite of orange you had just taken lodged down your throat causing you to choke. Loki smiled, pleased with himself.

"Of course, I wouldn't know that, or care to find out. You shouldn't speak of such things so loudly. What if someone heard you?" You looked around, your maid, Greta had her eyes on the ground pretending she wasn't listening. Loki walked over to her, dropping a few coins into her hand, and whispering to her. You watch as she goes to the next vender looking at the silks.

Loki grabs your arm, leading you behind a tent. "Aren't you curious? Your parents keep you in the dark, only for the bumbling fool you end up marrying to spill his seed in a matter of minutes." You would be like the other princesses, not knowing what to expect on your wedding night, if it wasn't for Loki. He had told you all about the act some hundred years ago, so you would know what to expect. You were thankful for that, at least.

But now, when he was looking at you like that, and speaking of such things, you wished you didn't know. "You won't experience pleasure with them. They just want to produce an heir, and once that's taken care of, he will get a mistress. I don't want that for you. I hope that you find a love match, but that is highly unlikely considering your father allows anyone with a title to court you."

You consider Loki's words as he leans in, his breath tickling your ear. "Let me show you what you are missing. I'll make it good for you. You deserve to experience mind blowing sex at least once in your life." He was the devil himself; you were sure of it. He was so tempting. You knew he was experienced, and women threw themselves all over him everywhere you went. He had to be good at it.

"I - I'm not sure. I would be ruined if anyone found out. My father would kill you.” You whisper, just in case someone was listening. "That's not a problem, I would just marry you before your reputation took a hit." He smiles as if what he said wasn't crazy. "Loki, I couldn't ask you to do that. To be honest, I am frightened. Not of you, but of the act itself. It doesn't sound like it would be pleasurable. Oh, but it must be if every eligible maiden in the kingdom lets you have your way with them."

You continue your ranting until Loki grabs your hand. "I would be gentle with you. We could start slowly. We would only do what you are comfortable with." You agreed to meet him at the treehouse that night. When you're back in your chambers you call Greta in to question her.

"Greta, have you had sex before?" She gasps, looking everywhere but at you. "My lady, that is not appropriate." You sit on your bed, gesturing for her to sit beside you. "Oh, spare me, we have known each other since we were girls. So out with it." You fold your arms across your chest waiting for her to answer.

"Yes, there was one man." She answers, her cheeks turning red. "Greta! Who was it?" She smiles, "Bart, the baker's son. We had a lovely couple of months together, but then he married the butcher's daughter. You see, men are fickle creatures. They use you until they find someone else. So be warned, my lady, keep your heart out of it. Men can have sex without emotions, and us women, well we often times end up heartbroken."

Greta's words repeated in your head all afternoon. You had known Loki for centuries, so you didn't think he would hurt you. But you were tempted to turn around, go back to your chambers and pretend like none of this ever happened. Luckily, he was in the treehouse waiting for you, so you couldn't leave now.

"It has been brought to my attention that men will do this with anyone, so I know it will mean nothing to you. And apparently, it will mean everything to me. I just don't want to regret this." You confide in Loki. "My darling girl, this will mean everything to me too. You are far too precious to me for it to mean nothing. We don't have to do anything if that is what you wish."

"I think you are right. I deserve to feel pleasure, and I trust you. I'm just nervous." Loki cups your face in his hands, bringing himself closer to you. It was so similar to that night when you were teenagers, your stomach erupts in butterflies. You never imagined the cute, gangly boy you knew so long ago would grow into the devilishly handsome man before you.

He kisses you, and it is exactly how you had always imagined. It was as if no time had passed between the moment when he almost kissed you centuries ago and now. You felt exactly the same. When he finally breaks the kiss, you look at him with wide eyes. If just his kiss could make you feel like this, you were in trouble.

Loki sat you down on the old mat you used to read on as children. It had fresh linen on it. Loki must have put it on before your arrival. He pressed kisses to your neck, sharp teeth nipping at your exposed skin. He had you sit up so he could undo your dress, nimble fingers working quickly on your corset until all your clothing was sat aside. You were bare for the first time in front of a man, but you were not ashamed. You should have attempted to cover yourself, but when Loki looked at you like you were a priceless painting, you felt no need to.

Loki took his time kissing every part of you. He toyed with your nipples, and you felt yourself growing wet. When he lowered his head to take one between his lips, you finally understood why all those maidens would jump at his beck and call. He kissed his way down your stomach, nipping your upper thigh. He spread your legs apart, pleased with your arousal dripping down your thighs.

"May I?" He asks, pink tongue poking out to lick his bottom lip. You aren't sure what he is asking, but he knows what he is doing, so you give your consent. His tongue envelops you, sliding from your slit to your most sensitive part. "Loki!" You shout, as he continues exploring you. His tongue flicks your clit as your hands weave through his messy locks.

You never imagined it would be like this. And you suppose if it wasn't for Loki, you would never know. He slips a long finger inside you as he continues licking you, He stretches you, placing another finger inside. You jolt at the intrusion, his fingers curling to caress your walls. You feel like you are about to explode.

"Loki, I feel so wonderful." You tell him. His lips suction around your clit, tugging while his fingers work their magic. Stars explode behind your eyes as your first orgasm rips through you. Loki waits until you finish writhing on his face before coming up for air. He wipes your arousal off his face with the back of his hand.

You think that has to be the most attractive thing you have ever seen. But you are proven wrong when Loki undresses. He has filled out since the last time you saw him shirtless, when you were swimming as teenagers. He drops his trousers, hard cock springing free. You gasp when you see the size of him. You were beyond thankful he told you about the differences between men and women so long ago. What a surprise this would be if he hadn't.

"You still have time to change your mind, love. Just say the word and I will stop." He stalks toward you, lowering himself to the mat. "Please do not stop." You say breathlessly. Loki chuckles, settling between your thighs. "This will hurt, but only for a moment. Tell me when you are ready for me to move."

Loki sinks into you, pressure and pain causing you to cry out. "I'm so sorry. I can't help it. It will feel better soon, I promise." You grit your teeth as Loki bottoms out. He stills inside you, waiting for you to give him permission to move. You take a minute, adjusting to his size, before you tell him you are alright.

Loki slowly removes himself before filling you completely again. After a few thrusts, it starts to feel good. "Faster, Loki, please." You beg, clawing at his back as he ravishes you. His hand comes down between your joined bodies, skilled fingers swirling against your clit. The feeling you had earlier comes back full force, another orgasm sending you soaring. Loki pulls out, finishing on the fresh linen on the mat. You lay there, breathing heavily, looking at Loki. He truly is beautiful. "Shall we go again?" He asks, his signature smirk returning.

Loki laid with you three more times before the sun rose. He walked you back to your estate, making sure you made it inside safely before walking back to the palace. The next day, you were excited to see Loki. You secretly hoped you would spend the day in the treehouse.

"Mary was looking for you." Fandral tells Loki, raising his eyebrows suggestively. "Well, you can tell her I never wish to see her again. She is of no use to me anymore." They laugh in unison, walking away as you round the corner. "Has someone finally caught your eye?" Fandral smiles. "Actually, I plan on asking the princess to marry me." Loki shocks Fandral who places a hand over his heart.

"Did you hear that, Greta?" You ask your maid, unwanted tears filling your eyes. "Yes, my lady." She answers. "Repeat what you heard please."

"Prince Loki said "You can tell her I never wish to see her again. She is of no use to me anymore." She looks at you with pity. "That's what I heard too. Oh, Greta." You collapse into her arms, sobbing. "Let's go home, my lady. We mustn't let the prince see that he has hurt you."

From that moment on, things were very different between you and Loki. He demanded to know why you avoided him now and why you never had a kind word for him. You never answered because he knew what he had done. He just didn't know you heard him talking about you. That was five months ago. Now, Odin was ordering him to marry and they had chosen you of all people.

If this happened before you would be ecstatic. Now, it makes you sick thinking about being alone with him. You had no choice. Your father had been trying to marry you off for centuries, and you always got out of your courtships somehow. You suspected Loki had a hand in it. But now that he wanted to marry you, there was no getting out of it.

You were expected at the palace by noon tomorrow. You paced the floor so many times, your footprints were probably embedded into the floor. Then you had the perfect idea. You would run away.

The next day everyone awaited your arrival. Your mother and father sat with Frigga and Odin having tea while they waited. Thor patted Loki on the back. "Finally, brother. Everyone saw this coming. I am very happy for you." Loki brought his cup to his lips, when a timid knock on the door interrupted them. He jumps up, rushing to let you inside. Instead of you, he is greeted by Greta. "Forgive the intrusion, your highness. It's the princess she ran away." Greta hands Loki the letter you left.

She sniffles, worried about you. While he reads the note, your father and Odin start planning on sending knights to find you. Frigga comforts your mother. "What does it say?" Thor asks, peeking over Loki's shoulder.

Greta, I cannot marry that pompous ass. I would rather live amongst the pigs. Do not bother looking for me, because you will never find me. Tell mother and father I love them dearly. Thank you Greta, for everything. I wish I could have taken you with me. All my love.

"No need to create a search team, father. I will find her myself." Loki states, leaving the room.

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[jeons-catalyst]

Hello. I am a taekooker who doesn’t lurk in other ship spaces but through another taekook blog post, i came to know about the post you made about taekook’s dynamic where you said you don’t think taekook have a deep emotional connection. I really hope you don’t see this as me being confrontational because i just really would like to understand your POV more so do you mind explaining why you think taekook don’t have a very strong emotional connection?

https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/753621383999782912/httpswwwtumblrcomstupendousfoxthing753542056

I also wanted to share this post from this taekook blog which i really agree with. Don’t you think perhaps your take on things is one sided?

Hi taekooker anon,

The truth is that there is certain things you and I would never agree on or see in the exact same way because we are rival shippers. I don’t expect taekookers to see sense in the opinions of jikookers the way i’m sure taekookers don’t expect jikookers to but instead of explaining to you again what i meant when i said i don’t think taekook have a very deep emotional connection, i will show you, using the post you sent me.

Let me preface by saying that, stating that taekook do not have a very deep emotional connection imo, doesn’t mean they don’t have an emotional connection at all. The kind of bond and friendship those two have with each other wouldn’t be possible unless they have an emotional connection. Tae wouldn’t have been able to pull Jk out of his shy shell and help him feel more relaxed and comfortable if trust which requires an emotional connection was lacking. Jk and Tae wouldn’t feel each other’s pain and try to be there for each other in good and bad moments if an emotional connection was lacking. All the members of bts have emotional connections to each other and that is why even us the fans can feel how much they all love each other but you and I know that all their relationships with each other don’t have the same level of depth. They all relate and connect to each other in very different ways with some being deeper than others for various reasons.

In our lives, we don’t have the same level of closeness to everyone we are close to. I personally am close to a bunch of people but i don’t have the same level of an emotional connection with all of them. I have some friends whom i bond with mostly through outdoor and fun activities, i have friends who i go to when i need to be vulnerable or have deep emotional talks with and i have friends who are kinda inbetween. The reason for this is because my dynamic with all my friends doesn’t allow for the same kind of things. My friend X is one of my oldest friends but we have never had the kind of dynamic where we could be vulnerable with each other. We just don’t relate to each other like that but we are still very close. We know where we connect most and we focus on that part of things. This is the same way it is in groups of friendships. You just don’t do the same things with everyone and physical closeness doesn’t always mean emotional closeness.

Now let’s see what the tk blogger said to counter my post.

“it is beyond stupid to think that Tae and Jk do not have meaningfull conversations. I'd even extend that to saying it is beyond stupid to think Jk and Tae don't know how to be together without having anything fun to do.”

First of all, no one said Tae and Jk don’t have meaningful conversations. They do have meaningful conversations, sometimes but i have never gotten the impression that, that is the foundation of their friendship or that it is something they do often. Even people who don’t know the first thing about each other might still be able to have atleast one meaningful conversation so why wouldn’t taekook? The question here is when, where and how do they have those meaningful conversations? How often do they have those meaningful conversations?

We all watched ITS and we heard Tae mention that he hadn’t had a drink with Jk in a long time. Having drinks could mean having heart to heart talks because people often have meaningful and deep conversations over drinks and snacks. Jk also mentioned that he had been able to have a heart to heart talk with everyone else except Tae. Now, we know that prior to their talk in 2020, somethings had been a little weird with taekook by their own admission so they had not really been in that space to be vulnerable with each other. So from this we can deduce that, these two never lost the love, care and affection they had for each other but that deep connection just wasn’t there. On the surface, they could laugh with each other, play with each other and care for each other because they loved each other but that was about it. They didn’t go to each other with their issues or when they wanted someone to be vulnerable with. I remember during Festa 2020 when they were asked to write little notes to each other, Jk wrote to Tae telling him that he had noticed that Tae was alot quieter and he just wanted Tae to know that Tae could talk to any of the members whenever he needed to. This tells us that Tae didn’t confide in Jk even though it was obvious that he was going through something and Jk saying that Tae could confide in any of the members and not specifically him (Jk) suggests that Jk didn’t even expect Tae to come to him with his issues. You see what i am saying?

“ I'd even extend that to saying it is beyond stupid to think Jk and Tae don't know how to be together without having anything fun to do.”

Most times, my opinions on certain things come from my observation of the members actions, their words and maybe the words of other members around them. I don’t think taekook feel the need to be around each other much if there isn’t a reason or something fun to do and this is why.

Let’s start from the beginning. When the members were rookies, everyone and their mama saw taekook as the closest pair because of their sweet, fun dynamic and how chaotic they usually were everytime saw them together. When we watched content from back then, we could see Taekook together alot, just goofing around or playing or being their usual partners in crime. Jk said Tae was his idiot friend and it was always fun when they were together. What happened after all the fun though?

This is from 2014. Here we hear Jimin and Jungkook telling us how them two always sleep outside their rooms together even though they had beds in the room. Looking at so many tweets from back in the day, it is clear as hell that Jk and jimin liked spending all or most of their downtime together. Sometimes there literally wasn’t even a reason for them to be together but they still were.

We had Namjoon telling us how Jk piled clothes on his bed to go sleep in Jimin’s bed.

We had Jk himself telling us that he spent most of his nights/downtime with Jimin doing things he doesn’t even know and some one could say this was because both Jimin and Jungkook had the same sleeping habit but then my question would be, if Jk didn’t mind being around Tae when they were doing nothing, then why didn’t he still stay by his side cuddling him or something if tae had already fallen asleep at night?

Taekookers like to reference chapter two or the solo era alot so let’s look at chapter two shall we.

In chapter two we know that taekook hung out quiet abit doing different fun stuff like going on a ski trip with friends, attending concerts, musicals, premieres or hanging at home with friends playing video games. But let’s look at these a little closer shall we?

Jk mentioned that when he went snowboarding when Tae and his friends, he really enjoyed snowboarding and thought they were going to do it again the next day but Tae and his friends probably had had enough and left while Jk stayed there alone. It is first of all difficult to imagine a couple going on a ski trip with friends and one partner leaves the other all alone at a Ski resort and chooses to journey back home with friends because wouldn’t it make more sense to stay back with your partner so you both can finally have some alone time or just go back home together? But my point here is that, once one party had had their fill of the fun, they were ready to leave and left even though one person wasn’t done with the fun. See my point?

Let’s also look at taekook attending a Park Hyosin’s musical back in March last year. They met, hung out for a few hours and Jk went back home late at night, started a Live, sang for over an hour and even fell asleep on Live. Taekook went out for a reason and that was to attend a musical. After that musical was done what happened? They went their separate ways because there was nothing more to do. Jk coming to start a Live shows that he was clearly lonely and probably needed some company. If it was normal for taekook to be around each other while nothing fun was going on then why didn’t Jk just stay with Tae instead of coming seek company from fans online? Now one time could be a coincidence but this didn’t happen just once.

Taekook attended the dream premiere back in April last year. They attended this premiere and even had drinks after with Tae’s wooga and you would think that after drinks, they might just want to hang together maybe cuddling or something but Jk literally went back to his house even though Tae was literally passed out drunk, he went back and like clockwork, started a Live. He still look needed company so why didn’t he just stay with Tae?

On white day last years, Jk went Live for almost 5 hours. Everyone could see that there was something off about him as he even got emotional. Tae was in the country on white day unlike Jimin who had travelled to the US to promote his album. That was a couple holiday too which Jk acknowledged by speaking about it and even changing his clothes to white. Why wasn’t he spending that time with Tae who was in the country? Why did he have to come seek company and comfort from a bunch of fans online even though his “boyfriend” was right there?

Compare all of these to him going to Jimin’s room when he was lonely/bored. Jimin said Jungkook visited his room about 3 times a day, came in and stayed for about 4 hours at a time doing nothing. Just laying there. It’s not like Jk went there to play games with jimin or work on something or do any fun activity. He literally was just content laying there doing nothing.

Or how on the day their first BB # 1 was announced, jikook were casually together at 4am.

Or Jungkook going over to Jimin’s place after a concert, cooking for him, filming some content and both of them being seen the next day which was white day at a local restaurant with friends, with Jk wearing Jimin’s hat which heavily suggests that he probably spent the night there and they just went out to eat the next day.

Hell even before the last four members enlisted, we saw that taekook were on a facetime call at 8 am on Tae’s enlistment day from their separate houses which heavily suggests that they didn’t even spend any physical time together before being separated for 18 months and only caught up via a facetime call.

“You'll notice they don't really know Tae well, going for the 'fun, weird, quirky' description of him.. going along with BH's narative of Tae basically being pretty but not having much depth or brains (ugh). While it's refreshing to see a jkkr not directly dismissing their bond, it's still such a faulty take. What do you mean Tae and JK don't have a deep emotional connection? Is it really logical to think Tae and Jk search each other for comfort, spend time together both in and out of public, spend time together both alone and with other people present, share their musical projects, mention each other constantly, look worried or proud or happy (any type of emotion) when something happens with the other, cry together, etc... but they do not have a deep emotional connection? "

This part was kinda funny to me because it seems like i know Tae better than most taekookers or i listen to him better. Another thing that was funny was them talking about BH narrative of tae being quirky, weird and fun. How do you claim to know Tae and you don’t even know that be used to be all of these things? That wasn’t BH narrative of him, that was/is him. I have noticed many Tae stans having an issue with Tae being described as this but do you love him if you don’t accept him for who he is ? He is all these things but he is also deep and certainly has brains. When he was younger, we only saw the quirky, fun and weird side of him but as he got older and matured, we saw more of his depth and intelligence and uniqueness. Jk himself has referred to Tae as a genius and has mentioned tae having deeper thoughts than we might realize, so that isn’t news.

People spending time together, sharing projects with each other, caring about each other is indicative of love, care and an emotional connection but not necessarily a deep one because all these things the blogger mentioned aren’t things that are exclusive to taekook but i’m sure she wouldn’t say all the members have the same depth of emotional connections would she? These are things Jk even does with his 97 liner friends but i’m not sure the all share the same level of emotional connection with each other. These are things friends do but not necessarily friends who share the deepest emotional connection which is my point. Jk has shared songs first with Namjoon and Suga, Tae has shared songs and albums first with Jimin and Hobi. Tae has cried with Jimin, cried with Hobi, cried with Jin. All these are indicative of a friendship.

She lost me at “Tae and Jk search each other for comfort” because this isn’t something i have ever noticed. I have seen tae and Jk providing comfort to each other but i haven’t seen them actively searching for it from each other. They also haven’t mentioned it either. Tae has spoken about being thankful to Jk who sometimes listens to his worries and advises on what to do. He has also spoken about crying together with Jk and Hobi back in 2018 when they were having a hard time but again, these are things all the members have done. The members have all spoken about crying together and being a comfort to each other in those trying times but if we have to nitpick, there is nothing really indicating that taekook seek each other out for comfort. They both tend to seek Jimin out and i am not just saying this.

This is Tae talking about how he wasn’t keen on letting his stress show or confiding in others but the first time he did, it was to Jimin. He let himself be vulnerable for the first time with Jimin and not Jk.

This is Tae saying that he goes to Jimin for advice when he has worries.

This is Tae specifically thanking JIMIN, friends and members for worrying about him when he was having a hard time

I’m sure we all remember when Tae wrote this letter to Jimin thanking him for being the one who cried and laughed with him and was always there for him.

If Taekook sought each other our for comfort, why didn’t Tae go immediately to Jk when he had a nightmare? We all know that in moments of fear, pain and other unpleasant emotions, we immediately seek out those we feel safest around. Tae literally got up from a nightmare and immediately went to Jimin instead of Jk. What does this tell you?

Or during this moment from BV when Tae was crying and the staff immediately went to get Jimin. Why didn’t they go get Jk, if that was who Tae sought out when he needed comfort?

I always say tkkrs problem is that they don’t listen to the people they claim to stan. Tae isn’t one of my biases but i pay attention to everyone he says and does. This is Tae saying that he likes Jimin best. Hell, Jimin even knew the letter was for him before it got to him. This also reminds me of how all the members were shocked when Jk pranked Tae like his letter was for him. Tae himself was shocked but jimin knew that Tae’s letter was coming to him.

Even on the day when they got to their first BB # 1, when Tae wanted someone to come sleep by his side, he asked for Jimin not Jungkook. Why?

These are all moments over the years that prove without a doubt that Tae has always sought jimin out. Not only do we see it, he literally said it. The first member he allowed himself to be vulnerable with was Jimin. So when tkkrs say Tae seeks Jk out for comfort, what exactly do they mean?

For Jk, it is clear that the one member he constantly seeks out for comfort is Jimin.

In 2013, Jk was asked at a radio interview which hyung gave him the best comfort and attention and without hesitation, he said Jimin. Things like this go to further prove my point of taekook not having a very deep emotional connection because back then, everyone saw how physically close taekook were as they were glued at the hip with Jk always following Tae around so anyone would expect him to pick Tae since that is who he seemed closer to of the two, but even in this case, he picked Jimin whom he had known for the shortest period of time out of all members.

Jimin was the last member to join the group which means that others had, had years and months to form bonds with each other before he arrived. We all know that in 2012 Jk travelled to the US for a month to strengthen his dance skills and mind you that was barely a few months after Jimin arrived but Jimin was the one whom he confided in when he had thoughts about quitting singing to become a dancer and Jimin tried convincing him on their way home from the practice room over ice cream. Mind you Jk had already formed bonds with the other members but in this moment the one he confided in was the one he has known for the least amount of time. This proves that jikook’s bond was built on a foundation of a deeper level of trust. One where they could be open to each other and valued each other’s opinions. Jungkook hadn���t known Jimin long but he already felt comfortable enough to seek out Jimin’s opinion on something as important as his career. Why didn’t he talk to Taehyung about this? Why Jimin?

Or when Jungkook was asked how he was able to overcome the harsh and intense trainee life and he he said Jimin was there for him and listened to his worries. When he said Jimin motivated him the most.

Jk said out of all members, Jimin knew him best.

Out of all members he felt his heart connected most to Jimin.

We have this moment when Jk felt bad about messing up his performance and even though there was enough space between Jimin and Tae where he could sit, he went and squeezed himself in the small space close to Jimin. Why didn’t he seek Tae out when he needed to be comforted?

There is no moment that speaks more about how deeply connected jikook are than this. You can literally see the way Jk breaks down and lets the tears freely flow the moment he turns around and sees Jimin already looking at him. This is what is means to be vulnerable, to let your guard down around someone you trust and have a deep emotional connection with. I had made a post about thid on my previous account and likened this moment to when a child falls and holds their tears in but the moment the see someone they trust like a parent looking at them with concern after the fall, the completely let it rip. Here jk was emotional and was trying his hardest to keep in it but the moment he turns around and sees Jimin smiling at him, he breaks down completely. I have never seen Jungkook like this with anyone else

This is a compilation of moments where Jungkook actively sought out Jimin when he wasn’t ok and needed comfort

Even after the rainy day fight, when Jungkook was lost, why didn’t he seek Tae out? He was lost, angry, sad and all the unpleasant emotions you could think about but in that one moment all he wanted was Jimin. What does this tell you?

Jungkook gets bored and lonely and immediately seeks Jimin out, out of every one else.

For Jimin, we all know how many times Jimin has spoken about feeling safe with Jungkook. Asking him to grow up and protect him lol.

When Jimin was asked whom he would like to travel with, he said Jungkook and the reason for this was that Jungkook was going to protect him. He wouldn’t say stuff like this if he didn’t already feel protected by jungkook ( not that he really needed the protection)

And then here he picked Jungkook to go to a deserted island with. It’s not so much that he picked Jungkook but why he did. He picked him because that is where and who he felt comfortable with.

Compare this to Tae also choosing to take Jungkook but not necessarily because that is who he felt most comfortable with or safe with but because Jungkook is good at doing many things and Jk would do it if he asked. The reasons always make the difference. With one it is more about Jungkook’s physical abilities while with the other it is about how being with Jungkook makes him feel, which is protected and comfortable.

This is another moment that tugs at my heartstrings alot and tells me just how much these two get each other. Jimin was obviously really nervous but in that state, he kept his eyes on Jungkook who also kept his eyes on him and nodded to encourage Jimin that he was doing ok. It honestly doesn’t get deeper than this. Without any words uttered, Jimin knew that he could depend on Jungkook and Jungkook knew what Jimin needed most at that time and turned his body to him, nodding as he went on. This ladies and gentlemen is what i am talking about.

There are so many other moments like this when the members are giving their ending ment after concerts and you see jikook turning to each other when talking. It happens almost all the time. Jungkook has hid entire body turned to Jimin and keeps looking at him while talking and Jimin does the same thing. It almost feels like looking at each other gives them a sense of courage and security in tense circumstances.

This one is abit risque but you get the point

This one.

This one. Jungkook strugging to be beside jimin while he gives his speech with jimin looking at him

This one

This one. Jk immediately turning his entire body to jimin while he talks

This one

I could only find these few but there is tons and tons and tons of moments like this.

“If you want to speak about the difference between Jkk and Tkk you have to have an understanding of all members concerned. Only giving your point of view from Jk's side is a very narrowed take on things”

I have given my point of view from all the involved members sides as we can see above so i don’t get accused of having a one sided faulty take. As we can see from everything stated above, Jk, Tae and Jimin all made it extremely clear on so many occasions who they sought out for comfort and their own words and actions hold more weight than some random person’s perception things.

“I think a very fun and interesting watch is vminkook videos, because through those you can spot how the relationships between those three actually work. Think of Tae and Jk at the first Harry Styles show, think of the three of them at Yoongi's show (leaving Jm behind for crying out loud), think of the vminkook live and Jm's reaction to the stare, think of the many times Tae was having a reaction about Jm and Jk and even acting out a certain possesiveness towards Jk.. a possesiveness that Jm accepts and a possesiveness that neither Jk or Jm act out on when it comes to each other.”

When this blogger mentioned Harry Styles concert, i felt vindicated lol. She is literally making my point for me. What did i say in my other post?

“ I think they those types of friends who always need a reason to hang out and hanging out is probably more fun for them with other people around. I don’t see Jk just going to sit in Taehyung’s room for hours doing nothing. I see Taekook spending hours, even days together when they have something to keep them occupied. That thing gets taken away and they don’t feel the need to be around each other much.”

This is from the other post i made. This blogger has mentioned the HS concert in LA as one of the ways you can tell the difference in vminkook’s dynamics but like a typical taekooker, they never pay attention to anything these boys say. Do we remember that the HS concert was during the exact same period when the members were in LA for PTD and we learned from Jimin and Jungkook that they worked out everyday together, ate together and Jk pretty much spent all his time in Jimin’s room? We all saw how glued taekook were at the concert, having the fun of their lives, holding each other and singing along to songs, it was adorable but remind me again who during that exact same period, Jk chose to go spend time with when he was lonely or bored? It wasn’t Tae who was had all the fun with at the concert but Jimin who tkkrs claimed he ignored. You see my point? Taekook were glued at the concert where they had something fun that they both enjoyed, to bond over but the moment that particular fun stopped, Jk didn’t feel the need to go to Tae when he was lonely or bored. He said he went to jimin so often because his room was closest but let’s be honest. Would it hv killed him to take 10 more steps to the next menber’s room? Also, it gets all the more interesting when you remember that he went there and according to Jimin, did nothing but lay down for about 4 hours at a time. Why didn’t he go to tae in moments like that? Why did he go to Jimin even though he literally wasn’t doing anything in there? With the way tk were at the concert, you would expect that the one jk would seek out in loneliness would be Tae but it wasn’t. Also what does it speak about Taekook if Tae thought jimin’s room was Jk’s? Thanks for making my point i guess.

On a serious note, can anyone show me moments when we know for sure that taekook chose to be together without a reason like them hanging out or doing something fun? Just one moment when we see or hear of them just casually spending extended periods of time, just because. I’ll wait.

Let’s not even talk about “leaving people behind”because that could get messy. Taekook came together to a concert and left the same way they came and let’s not pretend we don’t know taekook came together because they don’t live too far from each other. Besides they were just driving a few minutes back to their houses and not leaving to never see each other again. This will never compare to Tae leaving Jk all alone at a Ski resort and choosing to journey back home with friends.

I wouldn’t even talk about the so called possessiveness because this is stupid on so many levels. It is beyond funny to see someone claim possessiveness as proof of romance when we all know that feelings like jealousy and possessiveness are not exclusive to romantic relationships.Friends do get possessive over each other and nothing screams more possessiveness than Jk literally not letting Jimin go help tae out on his Live but that is a topic for another day. Also, tkkrs once again proving they are the ones who really don’t know Tae. They will see Tae was his RBF and swear he feels some type of way about Jikook’s interactions when my man has probably just zoned out. What sends me is when i see tkkrs claiming that Tae was jealous beyof jikook’s on stage interactions but you turn around and see the same Tae flirting up a storm with Jin. Or how tkkrs will swear that taekook are dating because Jk ate a particule of food that fell from the chopsticks when he tried feeding tae but you turn around and see Tae doing this💀

“You also have to understand that Jk and Jm are being placed in offical content way more than Jk and Tae are.. ofcourse you're going to get more Jkk moments to refer to. "

I swear it wouldn’t be a taekooker if they don’t whip out the company narrative. Do tkkrs really think anyone ships Jikook because of how much they are seen together in content? Which jikooker has ever said “i ship Jikook because they are together alor in content”? Tkkrs wouldn’t have a way to explain jikook away if they don’t run with the company narrative. Jikook were seen together in content because they were together ALOT! We have words from jikook themselves, other members and staff which literally confirms this. We are in the big year of 2024 and people are still going on about people being cut from official content? Ok i’ll bite. Let’s ignore the moments bighit gave us and focus on things we know from the members themselves or from things we saw which were not from content.

Jikook were the ones who told us they spent most nights together.

We don’t know about Jikook spending birthdays and Holidays together from the company but from them.

We have so many moments of them being sighted by people on the streets.

Tae was the one who told us that jikook were together alone at night twice.

Hobi was the one who said Jimin and Jungkook always stay up together

Hobi and Namjoon are the ones who told us that jimin likes taking jungkook places.

Jikook were the ones who told us they eat together alot and Hobi confirmed the story.

Was it the company who told us that Jk liked being in any room Jimin was in?

Jk shared a room with Tae for crying out loud but he still went to sleep in Jimin and Hobi’s room everynight.

It wasn’t the company that told us that Jikook we’re together on white day.

It wasn’t the company that showed us that Tae doesn’t go see Jk on his birthdays. Jk literally mentioned that on one of his Lives in the same chapter two which taekookers claim taekook were joined at the hip. And speaking of birthdays, we have literally heard Jk say that he thinks birthdays should be spent with close people but we know of about 3 different times when Taekook werent together on birthdays. How on earth do you go on believing that people are in a romantic relationship when they do not care much to see each other on a day that one of them thinks should be spent with loved ones and family? Tae will literally make sure he is there for Wooshik’s birthday but doesn’t go to see Jk on his?

Was it the company that told us that during an entire 6 week break Taekook didn’t see each other and Jk only saw Jimin and Hobi?

Was it the company that asked Jk to tell us that his mom made seaweed soup because it was Jimin’s birthday?

Was it the company that asked Jk to take Jimin to Tokyo?

Was it the company that asked Jk to only give Jimin a gift?

Hell, was it the company that asked Jk to stay in the dorm with Jimin and only moved out when he did and not when Tae did?

Was it the company that asked Jk to start a Live to watch Jimin and support him for almost 2 hours?

All these are moments that we know from the members themselves or from sightings. So which one is, “the company places jkk more in official content that tkk”? It’s not even about the company placing jikook more because if taekook were always together as some of you claim, then we would see alot of vminkook no? Did the company refuse to take footage of Tae all those times we saw jikook being the only two to stay back and watch each other practice? If tae was around jungkook alot wouldn’t we have seen him with them? We didn’t see him because he wasn’t there. Or those moments when Jk was sick in burn the stage and Jimin didn’t leave his side. Wouldn’t we have seen Tae there if he was around much the same way we saw Jin being around Jk much? Tkkrs have run with this narrative for so long even though it is obvious that the reason there was not as much taekook in official content was because those two just weren’t together as much as jikook were.

We all saw a drastic uptick in taekook moments after their ITS talk and i have seen taekookers even commenting on how much taekook content they got within the past few years, with some claiming that bighit now trusts taekook not to mess up on official content, or they had re negotiated the terms of their contract to allow for them to be shown more🙄. Let’s be serious please.

There is so many things that have happened over the years consistently that have proven beyond measure that there is no way in hell taekook are in a romantic relationship but every single time these moments are brought up, tkkrs blame the company, call taekook liars or make up the most ridiculous excuses. Cuz what do you mean your excuse to why Taekook don’t spend any birthdays or holidays together is that they have mentioned that they don’t care about birthdays or couple days? So jk doesn’t care yet he spends those days with Jimin and celebrates with other members like Hobi and Jin who ho to visit him? Tae doesn’t care abt birthdays yet he makes sure not to miss those of his wooga squad members? Let stop blaming the company for things they had no control over.

“That account wants t be objective and base their thoughts on what is being fed to them in official content. Sure, if you don't mind buying into what the company wants you to think, that is a great way to go. When we are speaking of two closeted bandmembers though.. it is not a failproof way to go. They are basing their thought on edited footage, without giving it a second thought.”

I am not basing my thoughts on what i am being fed in official content. I am basing my thoughts on the words and actions of the members, which i have gotten to see through official content and out of it ( as we all) and i have shown above the things they have said and done themselves. So unless you want to claim that we cannot believe anything the members themselves say or do, in which case everything you believe in too will be null and void because we get information from the same place, then i don’t see how someone could claim that i am basing my claims on what i am being fed by the company.

Resorting to blaming the company for not getting moments of your ship is how you know you are wrong as hell. It is even more ridiculous to reduce these boys to puppets with no autonomy or agency all in a bid to make sense of your ship. What i find ironic abt tkkrs is that, y’all claim to know tae and Jk so well yet you don’t know that these two are the most stubborn members of the group. On one hand you are claiming that Tae is someone with intergrity who values truth and wants to live in his truth and doesn’t condone nonsense but on the other hand, you are implying that he is a liar or someone who has no qualms misleading or lying to his fans and someone who has let the company maltreat him for years. One moment you claim Jk is tough for drinking on Live and falling asleep there knowing damn well the company doesn’t want him to but the next moment you are indirectly calling him a puppet or someone who doesn’t have a brain of their own. Common!

The edited footage they are talking about, is it the same footage from bighit which we all consume because i’m pretty sure if i go on any taekook pages, i will see that same “edited footage” which you celebrate and base your thoughts on.

This is was incredibly lengthy but i hope i have shown you my POV tkkr anon💜

[seneon]

where they like to kiss you ──── mashle various.

featuring. mash squad, rayne, orter, abel, abyss.

notes. i don't think this has been done before so here it is. these are all toe-curling fluff gn! reader headcanons btw !

𖥔 ݁ ˖ MASH BURNEDEAD

he likes to kiss your hands. not really great with his words or with his actions, he prefers the most unawkward part to kiss you. out of the blue, mash will take your hand in his and play with it a little, maybe even rubbing some circles with his thumb. then... he'll quickly kiss it. that's only at the start of your romance with him. as your relationship progressed, he'll leave longer kisses on your hands because honestly he loves it when you cup your face with those hands.

𖥔 ݁ ˖ FINN AMES

definitely your cheeks. he finds your cheeks very plum and nice to kiss. it's nice to play with your cheeks too! it's like squishing mochi except it's a very cute mochi and finn absolutely loves this mochi. he's so precious and cute that sometimes he'd lightly rub his cheeks against yours when he hugs you. very much likes to poke your cheeks too. this boy will never stop playing with your cheeks he just loves them so much idk why but i feel like he's into chubby people or people w round faces...

𖥔 ݁ ˖ LANCE CROWN

forehead kisser! when you're busy doing your homework, he goes down to smooch. when you're talking to him, he leans down to smooch. when you're just existing, smooch. his forehead kisses are quick, but they are filled with love everytime. will do it in public, no shame. probably has a dangerous addiction with kissing your forehead everytime. it's like he cannot live without it. after those kisses, lance will always compliment with whatever that's like cheesy enough to make you giggle. he's so prince charming mmm

𖥔 ݁ ˖ DOT BARRETT

lips lips lips. will do anything just to kiss your lips even if it meant to trick you. dot's very sneaky about getting those kisses too. to him, he won't really kiss anywhere else cuz he believes lips are the only way to properly kiss and transfer his love and affection to you. whether it's a quick or a makeout session, he never fails to pour so much love in them. oh yeah he gets red after kissing you so much and covers it with his pride while telling himself he's cool and stuff. this boy is the type to lean his forehead on yours just to look into your eyes after he's done kissing you too.

𖥔 ݁ ˖ LEMON IRVINE

lemon loves to kiss your entire face. she cannot resist cute things or the sort, and you're so very cute to her. of course she'd shower your WHOLE face with kisses! every day, lemon gets a cuteness overload upon seeing you and just boom. shower kisses all over your face. if she wears a dark shade of lipstick, your entire face will be full of her kisses imprints, not that you mind though. she gets extremely shy after bursting with those kisses though, so make sure to show the same amount of love for lemon babygirl!

𖥔 ݁ ˖ RAYNE AMES

this is weird, but anywhere with your moles. he finds moles very interesting and endearing, believing in the mole myth where your past lover kissed you most on your mole spots. if your past lover kisses you at that one spot so much, that means that's the best spot, rayne believes so. your moles do not lie though, he finds it lovely to kiss your moles. who knows... maybe he loves to kiss the moles under your fabric too 🤫 he doesn't only kiss those specific mole spots though, he'll kiss your lips a lot too.

𖥔 ݁ ˖ ORTER MADL

a classic temple kisser. aka, the side of your head. orter will gently grab your chin or head or move your shoulders to the side jusso he could kiss your temples. he'll shift your hair aside too, if they're in the way. after kissing your temples, he pulls you in a long long insanely long hug. just for him to kiss your temples or your head even more. for some reason he likes to quietly rub your temples for you too. yay, free temple massage from the best massager himself!

𖥔 ݁ ˖ ABEL WALKER

i feel he'd be clingy in a way, yk. so, when abel clings onto you, he adores kissing your shoulders. he's not really good with kissing elsewhere because he thinks that he'd end up doing something wrong but if it's your shoulders, he doesn't mess it up. it's a comfort thing for him to do, to lean his chin on your shoulders then bury his face into your shoulders to kiss them. very often the lang prefect will sneak up and hug you from behind and ofc, kissing your shoulders.

𖥔 ݁ ˖ ABYSS RAZOR

wherever you let him. he doesn't know what to do when it comes to kissing or affection at all. you're always the one kissing him and showing him love so he doesn't really have a favourite spot to kiss you. if he does want to kiss a very specific place, he'll ask for you and you'll allow him, since he rarely ever kisses those places. i think he prefers hands or somewhere on the face though, like your cheeks or nose. well abyss is still learning and trying 🥹

TAGS 𖥔 ݁ ˖ @kyoghurts @anqelically @dragonictears @caelivir @itonashi @yusume-the-writer @dabi-drift @m4shiho @shuulsan

© SENEON 2024 ♰ do not repost, alter, or translate.

[archangeldyke-all]

MORE RANDOM SEVIKA HEADCANONS PLS!! i love how you think

more?!!?? okay!!!! :D

men and minors dni

she'd only get on social media to follow you. she'd have to have you help her set up her profiles and stuff, never posts anything (unless she's reposting your pictures with a bunch of heart and flame emojis) and never logs on (unless she gets a notification that you've posted, because of course she has notifs on for you.)

old people LOVE her. she's like catnip to them. some of it is because she's an old grump already, but most of it's just 'cause she's quiet enough to listen to them yammer on about 'the good old days.'

she acts like she hates it-- but you always catch her shoveling your elderly neighbor's driveways during the winter and helping little old ladies cross the road. (she's part of the neighborhood book club too-- just a bunch of elderly ladies and sevika reading trashy smutty novels and laughing over spiked tea once a week. when it's your turn to host, sevika blushes bright red every time you bring her and her friends cookies and snacks: they're all cooing about how sweet of a couple you are, asking sevika when they can expect to have little feet running around the neighborhood)

she quits smoking when you get pregnant with little fucker.

one of her favorite ways to dodge a craving for a cig is to use her mouth for something much more satisfying-- like kissing you, or eating you out, or sucking hickeys into your skin...

every once in a while she'll still sneak a cigarette-- not because she misses it, but because she knows if she goes home smelling like tobacco you'll start peppering kisses on her mouth every ten minutes to make sure she's too distracted to smoke again.

she's sooo frugal. i think the reason she's wearing the same outfit for the whole show is she's just the type of person to be like "it still works?" while talking about her boxers that have a quarter sized hole near the crotch.

it's cute in some ways. she never throws out an old glass or jar-- most of your cups and storage is old pasta sauce and jam jars. each empty bottle of whiskey becomes a vase on a shelf or windowsill-- for little flowers, leaves, and weeds you and sevika always bring home to brighten up your space.

it's annoying in other ways. you have to secretly throw out her old socks and underwear once or twice a year, slowly replacing them with new socks-- but not too quick, or else she'll get suspicious as to why all her socks are hole-less.

she gets a little bit better at spending when little fucker comes around. she just can't say no to her own baby.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette

[tungtung-thanawat]

why I thought the kristsingto dance was offensive

My reaction to the KristSingto dance was, in fact, pure and utter shock with an immediate follow up of "well good for Thailand for being so progressive" and that was what I thought would be the end of my engagement with that performance and yet when I read this post by scarefox with commentary added by thebroccolination and hallowpen (mentioned to give credit untagged because I have social anxiety and forcing people to read my post is my worst nightmare) my mind was filled with thoughts that took me the greater part of the day to sort through and I still don't know if the following will be adequate. Because OH HO HO as it turns out Thailand isn't that progressive which means that this performance was constructed to be like this ON PURPOSE. This post is in conversation with some of the concepts brought up in the linked post so it will be helpful in understanding the direction I've chosen to go with this. But the linked post is a great post and you should read it regardless. There is much to love about the Kristsingto concert and even more to love about their sexy dance - the primary of which is how it makes every single one of my Asian sensibilities ring MAD alarm bells. I'm a diaspora south asian but I moved to the US alone when I was 18 which means I have an intact sense of Asian respectability, regularly replenished by my parents. I MEAN LOOK AT IT - THEY ARE ON A FREAKING BED!!!! SIR THAT IS A BEDROOM ACTIVITY ONLY

But some serious highlights as to what about this performance sets it apart: 1) The performance is focused on sensuality and desire. They're dressed like dancers and not particularly sexy ones. Everything about this performance is pared down to only focus on their movements. The costumes are simple, the bed is simple, the lighting mostly monochrome. There is nothing to see here BUT their desire for each other and the sex they are simulating

2) They are playing to each other and ONLY to each other and not the audience. This is probably THE REASON why it clocks differently from literally every other raunchy performance. They are dancing for EACH OTHER. The performance starts behind a screen, and the sex simulation is the most intense at this stage but then THE SCREEN FALLS but for the purposes of the performance, KristSingto don't even acknowledge it. The audience is THRUST into the position of a voyeur and remains so throughout the performance. Like there is a BED that looks like it came straight out of Krist's bedroom like give me a fucking BREAK sir those are inside house, behind closed doors activities you are engaging with on stage.

Even the parts where Krist or Singto face the audience it is a) never together at once and b) they are mirroring each other's movements highlighting their connection to each other over their individual connection with the audience. There is no hip thrusting, no flirtatious looks, absolutely nothing that would even remotely suggest that they're trying to titillate the audience. All the titillation is directed towards each other. This feeling of looking into a private moment is deeply, deeply uncomfortable.

3) It's KristSingto. So much to be said about this and I have a strong feeling that I am not the person who should be speaking about this. But it's Krist and Singto, highly respected veterans of the industry who don't 'need' to be engaging in these types of 'extreme behaviors' to get ahead. So why would Kristsingto need to 'resort' to these behaviors?

Well, because the purpose of art, and I would argue quite specifically queer art, is to push the boundaries of how society allows the 'self' to behave and express itself. There is a reason why BL has captured the fascination of so many straight women. I would argue this is true everywhere but specifically for Asians, the shackles placed on queer sexuality did not feel so different from the shackles placed on women's sexuality period. Queer sexual liberal *is* sexual liberation and there are a lot of outgroup parties who have a vested, personal interest in pushing this agenda forward. I have to stop before this gets so long that I have to find a university to grant me a masters but 'Fanservice Is Wrong' and 'Fanservice Has Finally Gone Too Far' is just the fan service discourse. But the truth is that Fanservice *IS* radical queer visibility and always has been. I started my fandom journey in JPOP nearly 15 years ago and that was the conversation then [link takes you to a fanservice kiss between Ninomiya Kazunari and Ohno Satoshi from Arashi in 2008 that was 6 years in the making but I digress] and apparently if KristSingto will get to have their way that will be the conversation now. To deny their dance as offensive is to deny the incredible ways in which it's in conversation with the society they're operating in, the risks they are still taking even amidst widespread celebration for the Marriage Equality Bill in Thailand.

KristSingto had totally blown the doors, windows and glass ceilings wide open with SOTUS that I would argue had rippling effects on the BL being produced throughout Asia, not just Thailand. And the pressure of that was SO high, that attention so unexpected and burdensome that neither could actually stay and enjoy that moment. OffGun and TayNew had reaped more fruits from KristSingto's labor than Krist and Singto. KristSingto isn't just another branded pair - they are quite literally BL royalty and they are not here to play games. Except this time they are pushing the envelope with their eyes wide open and I am buzzing to see what's next for them.

[joemama-2]

nanami kento has always been a patient man. he’s respectful and doesn’t talk to unless spoken to. he doesn’t like most people, might even hate some. but you’re not the type of person he would exactly hate, unlike a certain someone. he thinks you’re kind, polite, you always bow respectfully to your seniors, you diligently complete every task that’s asked of you. there’s also one more thing about you….he just cant put his finger on it. maybe you’re just tolerable, yeah that’s it.

you’re not a sorcerer, at least not a very good one. it’s why you’ve opted to be an auxiliary manager like ijichi and akari. “as long as i get to help the sorcerers in battle, i’m fine with whatever position i’ve been assigned.” you would say with a big and warm smile, innocently, naively. he thinks you’re too good for such a rotten society, something like that will get people killed. and he doesn’t want you on that list.

when he first met you back in high school, he didn’t think much of you. you weren’t a special grade, you didn’t have any awesome technique, you were just simply there. maybe you have connections, he thought. because there’s no way someone like you was admitted into tokyo jujutsu high. to this day, he doesn’t know how you did it. maybe you have some super cool talent that you didn’t like showing, maybe you just won over everyone’s hearts and they felt pity for you, he’ll never be a belt o find out. that’s one of his many regrets.

his other regrets are letting himself grow attached for no reason. no matter what, his eyes had a mind of his own, searching and scanning any room or environment for your figure. he chalks it up to protectiveness, you weren’t strong like he was and he didn’t want to see another comrade die. because thats all you were, a comrade. a comrade. a comrade. he chants this mantra into his mind every morning.

nanami didn’t know how it happened, but one thing led to another and he was always alone with you. comfortable silence was what he loved the most. you two could sit together for hours in a flower field you came across one day, just watching the sky and clouds form random shapes. you liked when they made hearts and little animals. although he always argued that they’re just clouds.

but, clouds almost reminded him of you. free, soft, floating around from place to place, and residing high in the sky. because he knew, no matter what, you were one of the few people who would go to heaven in this sick world, sick society. you belonged in heaven, you looked like an angel, acted like a goddess.

“let’s go to malaysia together.” you told him randomly one day, seeing an ad pop up about a beautiful vacation spot. kuantan. he didn’t take you too seriously. malaysia? out of all places? he didn’t see the hype.

all these thoughts flood his brain when he sees your body, looking lifeless and bloody, next to ijichi. you two have huge stab wounds in your mid-section. however, you have a bit more than your co-part, clear signs of your fight. even when you know you don’t have the upper hand, you won’t hesitate to fight back.

it’s hard as he carries you two, having to make sure ijichi doesn’t fall off his back while simultaneously holding you close to his chest. his heart twists and turns, stomach churning the entirety of the slow walk he does to bring you two back to ieiri. his mind is running rampant, constantly looking down at you. you can’t be dead, he thinks. neither of you two are dead, he can’t see more comrades die.

it’s almost weird to him how his throat tightens, tears stinging at his eyes. you don’t move, head lolling to the side as barely a sign of a breath is escaping your lips. your skin is pale and bruising. he hates it, hates how you look, hates how hurt you are, hates how he wasn’t there to stop it and protect you.

he sets you down first once he reaches shoko, handing the passed out ijichi to her. finally, he kneels down, taking in your appearance. nanami rarely gets mad, at least not seriously. but this time, he’s absolutely furious. silently seething as he breathing gets heavy. his fists clench by his side, nails drawing blood into the skin.

he gets up, no being able to stand how you look. but, he forgets you’re a fighter, forget that no matter what, you look out for sorcerers. out for him.

“kento….” you straggle out, hand weakly clutching onto his. you can barely keep your eyelids open. you mutter out the next few words. “…man….blonde……ponytail……s-sword….”

ah, he thinks. that’s his target.

he gulps, simply nodding. but your hand stays clutched onto his. using all your strength, you open your eyes wider, and he hates the tears that form in them. “….come back to me please…..”

he feels like crying with you. but he can’t, not now at least. he kneels down again, bringing the back if your hand up to his lips to press feather light kisses to each knuckle. his other hand gently uses his thumb to wipe your tears, treating you with utmost care. “kuantan,” he murmurs. “when this is all over, i’ll take you.”

you weakly chuckle, more tears falling at this point. “..p-promise..?”

he hesitates, but you notice. “promise.“ he says back, leaning down to give your forehead a kiss, sealing the promise. he places your hand back to your stomach before getting up to leave, not before sparing you one last glance.

and as you watch him leave, you don’t even know that it’s the last time you’ll ever see him, last time he’ll ever see you. because you trust his word, trusted that he’d come back.

nanami leaves with a heavy heart, staring death in the face and yet all he can think about is you. there’s many regrets he has.

he broke your guys’ promise, he hopes you won’t stay mad at him.

he won’t be able to take you to kuantan.

he won’t be able to see you, hold you, talk to you.

and finally, he wasn’t able to confess that he loved the simplicity. that he loved you.

he’ll see you again, in heaven and in another life. until then, he’ll watch over you. because nanami kento has always been a patient man.

[eww-y-tho]

Colin VS Toxic Masculinity and Why Penelope Had to Reveal Herself as LW

I made a previous post with my two cents on why the idea of them both figuring out a solution to LW was an inferior concept to just Penelope figuring it out on her own, but it was small and I want to go more in-depth.

So, in order to grasp ✨my perspective✨ of the story, we first need to talk about Colin's struggles with toxic masculinity and his inferiority complex.

Naturally, Colin is a hopeless romantic with demisexual tendencies and a more prominent softness compared to other male leads. He's a bit dense (I say with love) until he figures out what he wants and how he's going to get it, and then he is a man of frankly ridiculous action. He's a sensitive boi who has a difficult time fitting in with the other men in his life and being taken seriously by his family, as he puts it himself. An empath, lol.

Honestly, Colin being a "rake" was an integral point of his character arc, and if you haven't picked up on that text by now, I would ask where your media literacy is. Violet put it best, he's putting on armour to protect himself from the way that society treats his character, and naturally, he develops a small, albeit persistent inferiority complex because of this. He doesn't feel like he's providing enough to the people around him because of toxic masculine standards.

I honestly think it's been with him since s1, and Pen is the only person who could bring these thoughts to the surface, which is why it comes to a head in s3 p2.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In his efforts to fit in, he does some questionable things, such as the 2x8 comment, which he regrets as soon as he realizes how much damage it has done to his relationship with Pen. He hangs around with douchebags that he can't stand because he feels a need to conform and "be the kind of man society expects him to be."

But he also absorbs toxic masculine tendencies in the process. His gut instinct of general envy that a woman, Pen, is more successful than him (I hate to put it that bluntly, but that's how I took it), asking for her to quit LW because of these reasons, completely disregarding Pen's autonomy and her perspective by blindly charging forward to stop Cressida's blackmail, among other smaller things.

It's kind of ✨subtle✨, but I know it's there.

Pair that with his inferiority complex and you have a man who is trying to put down Penelope to his level, if that makes sense. By this point, he's already conquered the idea that he needs to conform by the way he cuts off his toxic friend group, but he isn't completely free from the systemic perspective.

Therefore, the idea that Pen would need him in order to find a solution to her problem confirms that toxic masculine trait. Let's be real, Penelope didn't and doesn't need Colin in order to help with LW's problems. She's managed without him before and will continue to manage it by herself. This is not to say that Penelope doesn't have an issue with accepting help from others and feeling the need to handle her problems alone because of her old situation, but she takes the emotionally intelligent move by LITERALLY voicing what she needs from Colin and their relationship.

She needs his companionship, she needs his love, she needs a rock she can come to at the end of the day and be able to depend on. She does not need him to do anything for LW, as it is a part of her identity and an accomplishment that she is proud of and will not let go of. Colin cannot make the demand that she drop everything she's worked for for him.

And that's how relationships work in the real world. You have things you are willing to let go of, and some things you are not. Your partner has to accept those boundaries you have set or leave the relationship, and you shouldn't have to abandon those things in order to get the person of your dreams, because that would make it a toxic relationship from the start and will most likely end in you losing parts of yourself in your partner.

Anyway, all this is to say that Penelope had to get out of her situation by her own means and with full autonomy on what she wanted to do to finish off her character arc.

And Colin needed to realize that his envy is a baseless emotion that simply has no value compared to the woman he knows her as. A strong, independent woman who doesn't need him to do things for her. He also needed to humble himself and see the way that LW is not competing with him, but a part of her. They both demonstrate that what they need from the relationship is not transactional in nature, but rather a shared bond powered by love.

I understand the idea of wanting them to both find a way out of the blackmail as a team, but again, that's explicitly not what they need from each other, and why I think this perspective is again a misunderstanding of their character arcs.

I think I've articulated this the best way I can, but I do know I wanted to say some other things. I'm tired tho, so yeah, ending it here.

Hopefully, this made sense.

Bai!

[guanhengs]

some of you believe that wayvs success with this cb has to do with them being five and it's literally the most ridiculous thing ever. yes let's act like it has nothing to do with sm suddenly putting in effort.

i respect everyones opinions but there is absolutely no reason to call sicheng talentless and not good enough in singing or dancing. he has always shown that he cares about wayv, lastly by going back and forth during on my youth era to attend wayv events and to do his own solo stuff.

as if his explanation why he won't be participating in this cb wasn't enough for you to understand that this is not his fault and that he really wanted to.

you dumbasses saying you only like him for looking pretty in season's greetings and photoshoots is so shallow and it's highly disgusting how many notes these posts get.

first wayv wasn't good enough to be considered a part of nct (except for your fave member) and now you need someone else to shit on. if you can't find someone to hate (always veiled with the infamous i love winwin but…) you can't live your miserable life.

please don't interact with me if you genuinely have this mindset or agree with this mental bullshit.

[nvuy]

would u ever write jy w/ a reader who was a part of the high cloud quintet? ig u would say sextet here (insert sex joke) but just curious!!!

i would, maybe. i have this idea of a very short fic bordering on less than 10 chapters if possible surrounding the idea, though.

like something to do with lan, how they pierced the sky, and you are a piece of it that holds the skies together for the xianzhou. something like that.

it would be unbridled angst because i can. this post is so fucking long sorry. i definitely don’t have problems…

i think what would hurt the most is that jingliu would’ve accepted you into the hcq had you been able to join them.

something something, you wanted to stay, but if you remained here, the sky wouldn’t be able to hold itself together anymore, and the stars would fall, and the xianzhou would perish. so, you return to the sky, and hold it together, because that’s what you are: a fragment of the stars.

you definitely knew them all.

yingxing crafted you a weapon on the basis that maybe if he finished it, you’d return. dan feng would be so so happy to see you again, with that pleasant little smile he always wore (and sometimes if he thinks it’s appropriate he’ll let you examine his tail).

you did not return. not in his lifetime, at least.

jingliu would’ve trained you in the art of the sword. not to the extent of jing yuan, but enough to put up a decent fight. so, if none of them were there to help you, at least you could help yourself.

baiheng would’ve been like the fun aunt, to be honest. always up for a good chat, telling you stories about her travels across the galaxy. throws in a little “don’t tell jingliu, but i think you’d be better at archery, than swordsmanship.”

and jing yuan, oh boy. you two would always sneak away and talk and lie together and be idiots. he’s young, only barely creeping towards one hundred, but so are you, and he brings you to places he loves to show them to you.

there’s one particular spot he loves more than the rest.

there’s a little path in an abandoned stretch of trees towards the edge of the luofu ship. the path is barely visible amidst the tall grass, but jing yuan shows you through every step of the way until you both come into a clearing. it’s a field of flowers. private, closed off, with enough sunlight to keep the area warm. and it’s beautiful.

if you die, jing yuan buries you there. he also buries what remained of baiheng, and carves yingxing, jingliu, and dan feng’s names into headstones as a memoir of the past.

if you do return, for whatever reason it may be, it has been centuries. centuries are long enough to forget, as everything yields to time. wherever you have been, it has been long enough to forget.

returning is odd. the xianzhou luofu has changed, as have the other ships. you’re not sure how long it has been, and you’re not sure why you’re trekking this particular path. it feels familiar, and you have the faintest notion that there is supposed to be someone at the end of wherever this path leads.

who it is, you’re not sure. perhaps, if they are there, they can provide you an answer. maybe they can even tell you who you are, and what purpose you serve, other than to keep the sky together.

jing yuan never changed this area. not only was it his favourite, but he, as well as his old friends, had clung to the idea that you would return eventually.

if he changed it, jing yuan feared you’d forget even more than you already had. so, he kept it the same.

at the end of the path, for your first return is not a person. there’s nobody here, but four headstones buried in the grass. you read the names, but there is nothing. you don’t remember these people, but still your heart twists, as if you should have known them.

so, with grief heavy in your heart, you return to the sky.

the next time you return is because you realise you’re forgetting again, though it is one hundred years later. you walk down the same path because it is familiar, expecting to see someone, or something.

you see both. a man, and four headstones. you don’t recognise him, but it must have been the person you’ve sought, for you only had the faintest idea that there should’ve been somebody here. so, it must be him.

you explain to the stranger you feel as though you should recognise him, but you don’t. you also tell him his eyes are like the sunlight in the sky.

to that, he responds that you’ve told him that before. and you have. many, many times and many, many years ago.

jing yuan knows you can’t stay here, but it has been such a long time since he’s seen your face. so, he lets you examine the headstones as you did centuries ago.

he wasn’t there that day. the sky had darkened on the days you first returned, and though jing yuan had an inkling of an idea it had something to do with you, he had been bested by his own mind at the thought that you were gone, and had thus disappeared to grieve by himself.

truly, today, he came to grieve once the sky darkened again. seeing you here was not what he expected.

you ask him questions that visit. about the people beneath the soil—he responds that there aren’t any bodies buried here. baiheng’s body withered, dan feng never truly died, and neither did jingliu or yingxing.

“they all float aimlessly,” he tells you. “baiheng is gone. dan feng has a new identity, and what existed before is lost. jingliu and yingxing’s minds are scattered to the clouds. i cannot say what they will do if you cross paths, or whether they will remember you.”

you ask if you can meet them someday, as perhaps maybe one of them can jog your memory. jing yuan promises it is a possibility, but it is nearing impossible. fate will draw your paths together, he deduces. one day.

so, after a while, he tells you to return to the skies. it hurts, because he wants you to stay. he wants to tell you everything you did together. why you would trek this path, and only this path, and who the headstones were once. but he can’t, and so you return once more.

it is an endless cycle of you returning once you’ve realised you’ve forgotten the man who waits for you at the end of that path. an all too familiar path that seems new, but somewhere, you know you’ve walked along it before. sometimes it is only fifty years, sometimes it is two hundred, but jing yuan ensured that he is always there to greet you.

he tells yanqing of you one day. that’s only because he knows he won’t be around forever. he will be mara-stricken, or perhaps he will be killed in battle, but whatever it is, he tells yanqing, as his retainer and potential successor, to take over this position, and to pass it onto his successor, and then generations will pass.

but, for the moment, each time you return, jing yuan remains. and jing yuan promises you, though he knows you will forget, that when he does inevitably perish, he will find a way to join you in the skies.

dan heng asked him once after learning of you if it is difficult to love someone who you cannot be with.

jing yuan replied it’s easy. and it is easy, because every time the sky shifts from night to day, and the sun rises, and the clouds pass, he knows you’re up there, and you’re safe.

tldr: batty old general jing yuan talks to the clouds sometimes.

[dollypopup]

Penelope treats Lady Whistledown as an identity

I think this is the reason why i have felt so displeased with it, and why so many people have instead resonated with it. Because Lady Whistledown is arguably the most polarizing aspect of this show, and certainly within Polin as a couple, and I believe it boils down to belief: Are you of the mindset that Lady Whistledown is WHAT Penelope DOES, or is it that Lady Whistledown is WHO Penelope IS?

and in recognizing which side of that line you fall on, I think it gives a lot of clarity as to how you feel about her as a character, and how happy or unhappy you are with the ending of Season 3

If you view Lady Whistledown as who Penelope is, that makes it an intrinsic part of her identity. She is a woman, she is a Lady of the Ton, she is a Featherington, she is straight, she is Lady Whistledown. It forms the fabric of her existence, and as such, to release Lady Whistledown is to give up a part of who she is. In the same way my giving up my love for women as a queer woman would be a denial of who *I* am.

However, if you view Lady Whistledown as what Penelope does, then the idea of her giving it up is considerably less dramatic than that. It does not make up her existence, but is a portion of the embroidery that embellishes her as a person. Losing that thread does not compromise the fabric of you, if we want to keep the metaphor. She is a straight woman, a Lady of the Ton, a Featherington, and she WRITES Lady Whistledown, is much different of an identity breakdown.

And I argue that the show should have treated it as such. For many people, they view Lady Whistledown as a direct correspondence with being a writer, but I don't think it is. I think viewing it just as a career is a bit of a disservice, so bare with the comparisons, but claiming being a teacher as an identity and claiming being a third grade math teacher are two completely different beasts. Because then it behooves the question: who are you if you change a grade level? Are you not still a teacher?

Let's take this a step farther, because creatives often see their art as being an intrinsic part of who they are, and not just a career. I know I do. Being a writer and a musician IS a part of my identity, but being a fantasy or a poetry or a spoken word writer is NOT. Because it becomes stifling and limited. 'I'm an author/writer' is an identity, 'I'm a fantasy author' is a specification. Are you not still a musician if you change from piano to trumpet? Are you not still an author if you change from poetry to short stories?

And I think this is where the real disappointment in Bridgerton for me came in. They put Penelope in a box, and told her there was no room for her outside of the walls they planted. And a box can be a comfort, a house turned home, but it can also be a prison. When Penelope told Colin that she could not compromise who she is, and that he would not understand because he is a man, and thus could be anyone he wanted to be- I had to ask. . .why do we view her as being right, here? Would it not have been considerably more radical and beautiful if she came to the realization that viewing herself as Lady Whistledown strangled her growth and creativity? Lady Delecroix spoke of the joy she received in making beautiful clothes for the ladies of her community, but she did not constrict herself into only finding happiness in making wedding dresses, or lingerie, or pelisses. Why push Penelope into a corner and claim it freedom?

To be an author IS an identity. To be a writer is. I won't deny that. But as Penelope came to the understanding that Lady Whistledown IS her, I wish she also came to the understanding that Lady Whistledown is not the EXTENT of her. In truth, I think Colin was right to ask her to give it up, not only for the lack of safety it provided, but predominately because it is not a place of healing and happiness for her. Lady Whistledown grew from Penelope's feelings of being unheard, and it feels as though the show itself did not listen to her.

If you view Lady Whistledown as WHO Penelope IS, then the idea of compromising with her husband on it is asinine. But if you view Lady Whistledown as an aspect of what Penelope does, Colin's pain and desire to see it go to the wayside make a lot more sense: at no point in their relationship did he ever ask her to stop writing. In fact, Colin *loves* Penelope's writing. He has praised it more directly and openly than anyone else has.

Because he has always loved her letters. Colin knew Penelope was who wrote them, and he spoke of how he looked forward to them, and how well written they are. I think, in part, that made it easier for him to forgive her for having read his journal. She'd been gentle with his writing in the past, and that makes it easier for him to open up to her in that sense, as well.

But Lady Whistledown had been cruel. Call it justified or otherwise, call it true or otherwise, but he never asked for her brutal honesty. No one did. Colin asked for Penelope's empathetic honesty, her clever honesty, her poignant honesty. That article she wrote of him at the start of the season was one even SHE disparaged. Colin was not wrong for telling Penelope that he couldn't accept that she was Lady Whistledown, because to him, it is not her identity. It is her craft, yes, but it is not HER, not to him, not until the end.

The problem with this season's ending is that it lacked nuance. It wanted to wrap up in a neat and tidy bow all the complexities of these characters, and I feel it did them a disservice in doing so. Because you could truly argue that, in a way, Lady Whistledown IS Penelope and is ALSO what Penelope does. But in doing so, you would have to acknowledge that Lady Whistledown is a source of pain and a weapon Penelope has wielded, and that intertwined with her very deeply, and that she has to heal from it. What's so frustrating is that, whilst she puts to bed Lady Whistledown as a name, she does not put to bed the gossip she spreads.

And we as a fandom have seen the negative impacts of gossip in our own communities. Just look at how cruel people have been to the actors of this show through petty drama and gossip. Now consider Penelope as the facilitator of such. Lady Whistledown as an identity then changes to Gossiper as an identity, and then latches onto the truer identity of Writer to grant it legitimacy.

I think what the show has done in having Penelope own up to being Lady Whistledown, and then cling on with an iron fist, is a true disservice to her growth. But it was one of the only ways people could easily forgive her. Because in saying 'This is WHO I am' it is an absolvement: there is no blame in being who are. However, saying 'This is what I've done' ensures there is agency in your actions, and thus blame. The show could not hold Penelope accountable to the pains she has orchestrated, and she HAS orchestrated it, so they had to wave it away. Sure, you can argue that she caused a lot of good, but lying to your friends, airing out their secrets, and trash talking them to your entire community is not a painless action. But if these are byproducts of who you are, there is no justification in feeling that hurt. For example, being upset your partner broke up your marriage is valid! Being upset your partner broke up your marriage because they realized they were attracted to a different gender. . .less so.

Penelope treats Lady Whistledown as an identity, because the show thought that was the only way she could be forgiven. But it isn't. Colin could commit acts that harmed others, apologize for them, and be forgiven. Anthony could commit acts that harmed others, apologize for them, and be forgiven.

But this show, through wanting to appeal to a female gaze, also treats us as lesser than. Penelope fucked up. She says so herself. But when it comes time to change, instead of treating her equally, the show says she does not have to. She does not have agency in her actions. It is simply WHO she is.

And that's just not satisfying to me.

[yannaryartside]

THE LIE THAT CLAIRE BELIVES

THE CARETAKER WOUND

So, I keep coming back and forth with my opinions on Claire. Yeah, she did many things that will be a no-go for me as a person, sometimes cringe or childless, and could be taken as manipulative as well. I have been rethinking about it after reading this amazing post:

But there was something constantly ominous about how she was presented, not only as a manic pixie dream girl coded woman but also as a helper, described as an "incredibly good person" who sometimes managed to become an enabler. I will use some books about childhood wounds I have been re-reading, trying to do for her what I did for Carmen in this post. A deep character analysis speculating on the character's childhood wounds based on behaviors they display.

Let's go brick by brick. Long post underneath.

PART 1: THE HELPER OF DRUNK, SAD PEOPLE

Quoting from @brokenwinebox post: In the party.

Claire: “In college, people would come back to my house after parties. and I think I got really good at managing sad drunk people.” Carmy: “Yeah, I know that feeling.” Claire: “I know you do.”

That made me pause, because she made it seem like a common occurrence. She doesn't say these people were their friends, and maybe they were. But it becomes weirder when you think they were at that party (with Carmy) with the excuse of helping her broken-hearted friend. Claire said, "She needs me"

Girl, what? I get wanting to be there with your friend, but you are talking to your (you said later) childhood crush, dont you wanna spent time alone with him? The other girl doesn't seem like your best friend or anything, so doesn't she have other friends she could rely on during this hard time? She was throwing a party, so she was surrounded by people who could have cheered her up. Why was your presence so needed in particular?

Even if you say they were really close, when Claire said that other people would come to her house drunk after parties, my question is

Why? why was your house the place to do that? Did they insist? Some people can be dangerous while drunk, even if she described them as "sad."

Why did you feel these people were your responsibility? To be a good friend? Didn't you have to study? I had a heavy reading career in college, and I will read while eating or even in the gym, but it didn't come close to being a medical student. I assume these parties were in college, and I understand partying is a college thing, but having to stay awake and comfort a drunk person for as long as they need is another thing. It demonstrates a disregard for your time and needs; weren't you tired, busy, and probably also drunk? You are accepting people who come to you at their most vulnerable but also their most unpredictable. We all have people in need we want to care for even when they are messed up, but she didn't say "my friends" or even "my girlfriends". She said people (it could be a wording thing, but this dialog is very intentional)

She seems proud of it, giving her limited time to confort people she may not be closed with.

Here is my point about the lie I think she believes. I was reading again How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self–by Dr. Nicole LePera, and there was this passage that sounded very familiar:

In the book, Dr. LePera explains "The 7 Inner Child Arquetypes" as behavior tendencies and internal beliefs that one may develop depending on the environment one grows up in. We don't know much about her childhood (I have a theory about it, which I will discuss in another post), but I think this description can apply to her behavior.

The issue here is not to "feel good to take care of people." There are many reasons one may do that, and many of them are altruistic in nature or just love for the person. the key element is the "disregarding of one's own needs." Look at me in the face and tell me that doesn't sound like Claire. She seems proud of how much people would go for her for comfort when she was a student in a very time-demanding career. It was likely very taxing, but she doesn't want to say it was. Not to mention that comforting somebody is emotional labor on its own.

The lie that Claire believes is that she needs to sacrifice (time/energy/emotional labor) to be loved, that only that is her worth as a person, particularly in the role of a caretaker of people in need.

And it also shows in her relationship with Carmy.

PART 2: LOOKING FOR THE LOVE

A scene that always stayed with me was this:

This "I know" seemed childish on my first watch, kinda saying "I know ligfe is not as complicated as you think."

But then I realized she was happy to say the right thing for him to love her. This "I know" is she saying, "I know I am perfect for you, I am catering especially to your needs" after saying, "Nobody is keeping track of shoes," which was kind of nonsensical, to begin with, but it also sounds like something from a Hallmark movie when they try to be profound and prophetic.

I want to bring the Caretaker Archetype to her relationship with Carmy because she also completely disregards her own needs with him. To begin with, when you have a profession with little time outside work, you probably will like it to be a good, stable one. Why are you chasing a guy who gave you a fake number and that you had to "push' for them to be with you? You even joke about the Faks beating him up for giving her a fake number, like wtf. In her interview, Molly Gordon talked about how Claire was pushed in a previous relationship, which gave her the idea pushing was okay, which is an entirely different conversation, but ok.

Regardless of that context, she went for a guy with also a time-demanding job, that you have seen in ages, and that you know it has social issues and comes from a family of addicts, and that family as a very tragic story.

Here is my biggest question:

DOES CLAIRE SEE CARMY AS ANOTHER "DRUNK, SAD PERSON"?

gif from @mporium

He may not be an addict, but he is aware of the substance; they made us watch her purposely giving him the soft drink; he didn't ask for one. Like she is saying, "I know you have this issue; look how good I am at anticipating your needs." Their first date was at a party, the place where she was to rescue a "sad drunk person," as she had done so many times.

Coming back to disregarding her own needs, she didn't establish boundaries or expectations throughout the whole relationship; she said, "I love you," after 2 months of fucking, no dates, and a homemade pasta dinner.

She squished herself into whatever hole Carmy needed her in. I have read in other posts that her profession does not give you much free time. Doesn't she sometimes need time of her own to keep studying, just relaxing?

I am aware they could have just not shown any of it, but when you are writing a romance, it is important to show how each person can satisfy the needs of the other; it is not supposed to be one-sided.

She doesn't discuss her stressful work or mean patients. She does not discuss her dreams; we don't even know her last name.

I think this is why she felt so empty to me: even in her conversations, she seemed to be mirroring him the whole time, looking to say the right thing. She only seemed to address her needs by asking him about the fake number because she felt rejected, and Carmy's pathetic response seemed to be what she needed to hear. For many people, that answer would have been a warning of someone not ready to be in a relationship. But for her, it was okay.

She has to be able to at least suspect his depression and other mental issues. She doesn't know about his fire incidents yet; why does a person look for a partner she has constantly to care for while he can't take care of her besides one dinner (or at least, she doesn't ask)? Because she finds her worth in caring for others while receiving very little in comparison. That is why their dynamic is that Claire is always giving and Carmy is always taking.

That is my theory. That's why many of her actions look both good-intentioned and manipulative because she is doing both. She wants to be loved in a very specific way after providing care and sacrificing a good deal herself. She wants to be loved because she does these things; that's how she earns it.

PART 3: ALWAYS SMILING

Gif de thoughtfulchaos773

She always makes this picture of perfect faces and soft smiles; a part of me wonders if she wants to display exactly that. She is inviting, always a calm and happy person, which is also on brand for someone who may have grown up finding worth in being pleasant to others. It is not like I hate pleasant female characters; I love a cinnamon roll any day, but this could be very performative, especially the way society pressures women to present themselves this way in order to be lovable. For Claire, this is the cherry on top of her masking to be a good caretaker, always available and welcoming.

This may also have a dark side. Why doesn't she recommend that Carmy seek professional help? Nobody wants to be confronted or hear that they are broken. She knows he may react negatively to her suggestion, so she doesn't do it; love is what she is after.

PART 4: CODEPENDENCY

This topic is huge, and I am gonna brush over it.

A person who only feels worth taking care of others will try to make the other person rely on them as much as possible. The party scene becomes dark-toned in this subtext. She brought him to a place where he felt like an outsider, she supported him in using a fake persona (ew), she knew there was gonna be alcohol there, didn't she feel bad that people may pressure him to drink, or she wanted to be his aid on the scenario (giving her the soft drink), she tried to make him fit in, even told him what to say in certain scenarios, especially when she was doing the thing she says she is so good at: taking care of the drunk friend. She kept bringing up in the phone conversation how much the Faks would be angry with him for rejecting her. She kept saying things like, "You could not have done this without me." Idk. Now that I keep thinking of the caregiver archetype, I can't unsee it.

Why did she leave that voicemail? Who says I love you for the first time in a voice message? On the opening day of the fucking restaurant? A very high-stress, demanding job, that day with so many things can go wrong?

Was it because she wanted her voice to comfort him during the most stressful times? The only comfort? Was she so sure that after all she had done for her, how could he not love her back?

PART 5: THE DOCTOR CONTRADICTION

This is to lomg, but to analyze Claire, I cannot ignore this part. I said this before in this post, but when Claire said:

I had to pause. That didn't sound like something a doctor would say. There is a reblog from @ciaonicole85 that I would like to quote:

I'm a healthcare provider, and I don't know anyone in my field who would say that setting a fire is cool. We're typically very respectful when talking about someone's dead family member, especially when suicide is a factor and mental health generally.

Then there is also the mention of discussing her classmate getting a broken arm in kindergarten. Quoting, again, from @brokenwinebox amazing post:

Claire: "When we were like six, she fell off a fence and broke her arm, and it scared the shit out of everybody. Except me, i just like sat there and stared at her arm." Carmy: "Cause you wanted to fix it?" Claire: "I wanted to understand it."

First of all, why is one thing exclusive to the other?  She said she wanted to understand it, almost as a priority to fix it. That is weird as fuck. She tried to make that distinction, that point. As @brokenwinebox mentioned, is this supposed to be a clue that she wants to understand more than fix? I think it is.

A little side note here, this line gave me a "I am not like other girls (or people for that matter)" vibe, because she made a point to say that everyone else freaked out but her, as if that made her extra brave or something, destined for what she does now, an emergency doctor, but no, a kid freaking out would be the most normal thing. The brave thing would have been asking for help, like wtf. But coming back to the point.

I am not saying Claire doesn't care about his patients or that she doesn't want to fix them. However, her dialogue displayed carelessness and ominous comments about other people getting hurt/sensible topics.

I don't think it's because she doesn't care but because she is attracted to risk. She mentioned she used to shoplift as a teen (I am not judging, but wtf). That surely will give her an adrenaline rush. She mentioned she likes driving because of the risk of it.

This also makes me think: Does she like Carmy because she thinks dating him can also be risky? Not in a dangerous context or anything, but because of how emotionally unreliable he is. There is a thing as always looking for emotionally unavailable people, and there is a psychological explanation for it, too.  

So yeah, those are my thoughts. Maybe s3 will prove me wrong.

Thank you so much for reading.

[yes-i-write-fanfiction]

Reasons as to why I think it would be funny below:

-Cyclonus and Tailgate have been mentioned before but come on, it would be so funny. Here's Cyclonus that looks like a full on rogue even in his holoform and then there's his sunshine husband Tailgate that decides that he wants to be a hero. Cyclonus decides that sure, he'll go along with it if only to make his conjux happy. Too bad everyone thinks Cyclonus is the hero and Tailgate the sidekick.

-Ratchet has also already been mentioned but it would just be hilarious to see him try to tackle Gotham and all the shenanigans that comes with living in the city. I can also see him picking up Robin like a kitten.

-I just think Arcee and Damian would get along. Arcee is an ancient warrior that wields swords and Damian would take one look at her and go "I want to be like her when I grow up". Killer robot grandma and her little killer kid vigilante grandchild.

-Jazz would open a club and it would become the most popular place in Gotham. Fuck the Iceberg Lounge, Jazz's club is the place to be! Becomes the next Gotham celebrity, his himbo playboy persona on par with Brucie Wayne.

-Listen, Bumblebee is old. Old and tired and filled with rage. But he takes one look at the chaos that is Gotham, sees the homeless people and the struggling kids and decides that he has to do something to help. And if that means dropkicking Black Mask then by Primus-!

-Vigilante Drift. That's it. Gotham is so similar to Dead End and Drift knows that he could help people. So, he does. Mainly busts drug rings and protects the homeless population. Might accidentally become a gang leader.

-Riptide would 100% accidentally become a crime lord. He just stumbles into it. His goons know this but they just like him so much. He's nice to them, doesn't make them to terrible stuff and the pay is good. Riptide doesn't even know he's a crime lord, he thinks he's just in some kind of club.

-Accidental rogue/antihero Nautica. In her attempts to find a way back home to her own universe, she commits several crimes, breaks into Wayne Enterprise, leads the batfam on a 3 hour chase, starts a revolution and befriends Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.

-Fortress Maximus to damn big for this damn city. Accidentally steps on the batmobile. Accidentally kidnaps Nightwing? Nightwing in turn listens to this 52 feet tall robot have an anxiety attack and calms him down. Now they are friends.

-Swerve living life in Gotham. He loves it. Yeah, it's chaos and people are a bit weird but it's also so exciting! The heroes and villains are so cool! He's got various fan blogs. Opens his own (human) bar and it becomes a hangout for rogue goons.

-Blurr starts working in the Iceberg Lounge as a bartender. His holoform is hot so he gets hit on a lot. He loves the attention. Penguin loves the revenue he brings in and promotes him to the poster boy of the place. Batman, as Bruce Wayne, decides to seduce Blurr to get some info on the Penguin. Shenanigans ensue.

-Little sad meow meow Waspinator gets found in the dumpsters by Damian and is subsequently adopted. Alfred takes one look at this pathetic bot and his heart breaks. Bruce returns home to find Waspinator in his living room, snuggled up in a blanket and asleep. Damian threatens to disown him if he makes Waspinator leave.

[salethe2]

I’ve seen a lot of takes on this scene, and honestly they’re all so interesting, so I decided to give my perspective.

Okay, starting with Armand’s costume, which Carol Cutshall absolutely nailed. Here’s what she said about Armand’s costume design:

—“One of the things about Armand is he is so ancient and so powerful that he always presents himself as very open. Whereas some of the other characters are very covered up, he’s always very open because he really doesn’t see anyone as a threat to himself. He didn’t have any predators or any reason to be on guard, or be armoured.”

Personally, I find this design choice fascinating because, despite being a predator at the top of the food chain, vampires like Armand, especially as a coven leader, would normally need to remain vigilant. Yet, he’s completely at ease, even surrounded by other vampires.

I mean, look at him here. Sure, it’s not the deep, open V-neck shirts he wears in the interview scenes, but his outfit is still loose and open. And he’s literally surrounded by a group of vampires he knows are plotting against him. He even has his back to said vampires and yet, he’s not the least bit nervous in either situation!

Even with Daniel, he’s not nervous or afraid because he doesn’t initially see him as a threat.

So, if Armand isn’t scared of his own coven—a bunch of vampires ready to kill him at the first opportunity—or Daniel, who could potentially expose all his manipulations, then why on earth does he go into full armor mode to meet a seemingly inconsequential human he’s never encountered before? He’s literally in a turtleneck, shielding his most vulnerable area for crying at loud!

A for body language—honestly, Assad Zaman deserved an Emmy for this scene. We see Armand being aloof, a little suave and condescending, employing the whole, “I’m a four-century-old vampire; you’re just a lowly human” tactic. It’s like he’s sizing her up, wanting to understand who she is while simultaneously aiming to provoke her, curious to see how she will react.

As for his questions, he frames them in the way you might expect a coven leader to interrogate a human he’s about to turn. Questions like, “How will you survive? Are you okay with killing people and being a monster?” It almost seems like he’s trying to make her reconsider her decision to turn, but it’s all a facade.

Because the question he really wants to ask is the last one, and when he finally approaches it, his entire demeanor shifts.

He sheds the suave demeanor and shifts to a more serious tone, embodying what Louis describes as his "post-apocalyptic look." He towers over Madeleine, gazing down at her in an attempt to intimidate. At this point, Madeleine's expression turns genuinely nervous, perhaps even frightened—and understandably so. Yet, she holds her ground. It's then that Armand poses the crucial question he had come specifically to ask.

“And what will you do in a few decades when she throws herself into the fire? Because she will.”

Now, why does this question seem familiar? It’s because Armand has previously made a similar statement to Louis. He had forewarned Louis that Claudia’s mind was bound to deteriorate over time. Now, Louis tearfully countered that Armand couldn’t be sure of this, yet part of him probably recognized the truth in Armand’s words, which likely contributed to his emotional plea for Armand to look after her.

Armand realized then that Louis, despite his deep love for Claudia, lacked the resolve to keep her grounded, effectively sealing her fate, which seemed all but inevitable by that point. He even assigns Claudia the role of Lulu as a way to infantilize her and further break her spirit—almost as a test to gauge Louis’ reaction. Unfortunately, Louis does nothing about it, while Madeleine clearly recognizes it for the manipulation it is.

And what does she do next? Madeleine quickly gets Claudia out of that outfit and into one more fitting for her. By doing this, she threatens Armand’s plans without even realizing it.

It’s also interesting to note that the only time Armand is ever truly angry with Claudia is when he sees her with Madeleine. This reaction underscores the threat he perceives in their bond, disrupting his control of the situation, and here is why.

When Armand posed the question to Madeleine about what she would do when Claudia throws herself into the fire, her response was:

“Or maybe she won’t. You don’t know. Maybe I’m what she needs to survive.”

And the way she meets his gaze as she says this marks a shift in their conversation. Throughout their entire conversation, Madeleine often looks away and breaks eye contact, but not in this moment. Here, she meets his gaze head-on. Even though she is clearly nervous, and likely a bit scared, she holds his gaze because she is sure of her words. This is a powerful moment where Madeleine not only asserts her belief but also turns the tables—now, it’s Armand’s turn to feel uneasy.

Of course, you don’t see it in his face, but it’s evident in his body language. The way he becomes closed off, his hand fidgeting, and his gaze fixed ahead as if deep in thought. He doesn’t even refute her.

Even with Lestat, when he warns him about Nicky, Armand doesn’t stay silent; he confidently affirms his insights, and Lestat—of all people—clearly believes him. But with Madeleine, it’s a different story. He goes silent, not uttering a word in response. He doesn’t attempt to persuade her because he recognizes that her mind is made up, her resolve unshakable. But perhaps the words that really hit home for him were “You don’t know.” This was probably the words that sealed Madeleine’s fate because the last thing you want to say to a master manipulator and control freak like Armand is that they don’t know something. Because now, all of a sudden Claudia’s death isn’t a certainty anymore and he can’t just sit back and wait for her to lose her sanity. He must take matters into his own hands now.

Anyway, one might think that Madeleine and Claudia leaving, thereby leaving Louis all to Armand, would satisfy him. After all, one of the first things he asks Claudia and Madeleine is if they’re considering returning to Paris, and you might assume Madeleine’s answer pleased him. However, her answer doesn’t satisfy him, not after what Madeleine says soon after.

Madeleine’s words confirm that Claudia indeed loves Louis, and because Madeleine loves Claudia, she persuades her to return to Paris despite her obvious and valid disdain for the city. This revelation proves to Armand, even if they leave Louis, Madeleine and Claudia will always remain a significant part of Louis’s life. For Armand, this is intolerable. To him, Claudia is a dangerous manipulator and a competitor of Louis’s attention.

So even if they all lived happy, separate lives, Armand’s nature is such that he cannot live with the doubt and fear that Claudia might draw Louis away from him. Having been abandoned too many times in his life, deeply wounded by those closest to him, and left behind for others, he cannot risk experiencing that pain again.

Thus, in that moment when he speaks to Madeleine in the apartment, he decides that both she and Claudia need to be eliminated. I believe this was the real reason Armand was there under the pretense of turning her. He needed to evaluate how much of a threat Madeleine posed to his plans, and upon realizing she was basically a live grenade, he knew he needed to act swiftly to get rid of her. Because as long as Madeleine is present, so will Claudia, and as long as Claudia exists, Louis will never truly belong to Armand.

[fuckyeahmhawkefenris]

It is unbearably quiet on tumblr lately, and what little talking there is, it's all about the next game. Yeah, we're no longer in 2012, I get it.

I'll just keep entertaining myself however I can.

I've always wanted to talk about one fic I secretly refer to as one of the hidden gems in the fenhawke archives. I have never ever seen anyone bring it up, and in all these years I've never dared to recommend it to anyone... Don't think you can even find it so easily? For good reason tbh...

Thing is, it's a fill for da kink community on livejournal. Anyone remember that place? The safe haven where anyone could anonimously submit the kinkiest most shameless things you could think of - offering prompts, filling them... Those were some desperate times when we were painfully low on content, and it was very hard to find something to read. Finding a story with characterization that suited your vision was near impossible!

I myself was desprate enough to brave through countless pages of imageries I could not stomach, skimming through them just to get the general idea until something captured my attention.

So I found this, and honestly, to this day to me it is one of the best examples of... idk, not just good characterization, but the overall feeling of the fenhawke relationship, why I can't let go of them after 12 years? It's all subjective, of course, but no fanfic ever resonated with me as deeply as this. Also back then mage Hawke was not very popular and most stories featured rogues... I used to be very sad and lonely!

Warning: it's extremely triggery. I wouldn't even recommend reading the first part at all, because it's too difficult and painful to get through. Hell, I couldn't read it! I was looking through the text very VERY briefly to get only the most basic and vague understanding of what was happening, and it was still hard! There is a lot of abuse, rape, slavery things...

To get the idea:

The Alone quest did not get resolved as planned. Danarius managed to win that battle, captured Fenris and returned to Tevinter, gravely injuring Hawke in the process (Fenris thought he was killed). To break the remains of his will, Danarius threatens to erase Fenris's memories of Hawke, and he succumbs and stops resisting altogether. I don't want to recall the details, but it was awful. Go straight to part 17 (it's a flashback) to read a very lovely take on fenhawke first night together. It's super sweet and gentle, though painfully sad in context. Still, beautiful. Well, it gets worse before it gets better! Somewhere in part 19 Fenris's friends come for him (they sailed all the way here on Isabela's new ship) and he's rescued. What follows is an exceptionally touching tender reunion with Hawke. Oh, and then, once all is settled comes the second part - All the King's men, which is much less controversial and fairly easy to read. Fenris copes with his experiences, and Hawke is always there for him. There are some truly fantastic moments as they slowly get close to each other again! Isabela is pretty great here, and Anders... sorta made me warm up to his character? And it's all fairly believable and close to how we see them in the game.

I'm saying all this and linking this fic on the off chance that someone with tastes similar to mine ever needs something like it. I know I am grateful it exists, and still hold it very dear to my heart. Definitely never regretted finding it!

[madsmilfelsen]

I think Rust is neat and all but what drew me in was his HANDS. Idk how to explain it, but something about the way he holds things and articulates makes me just. Stare at them. Like I just Know he has rough hands

alright babe, you want to talk about his hands, let’s talk about his hands via timeline

Obviously living in the bush of Alaska requires a lot of manual labor to survive, skin rubbing raw inside leather gloves, blisters from splitting wood, scars from his knife slipping on salmon (v real, I used to filet 500 salmon a summer and baby…. yew, my left hand has gotten nicked more than once— Travis and Rust had a fish camp on the Copper River, probably across the bridge from Chitna and a touch north, and lived way up river between Slana and Nabesna bc I’m making all this up right now and I said so) etc etc so his hands well worn before he got out, moved back to Texas and meets Claire snared by his weirdo allure and bizarre way of handling things— Sophia comes along and I bet he was washing his hands like a maniac, dry as fuck, probably worried his rough hands might make her fussy so held her with her little swaddling blankets at first (compensated with A LOT of skin to skin time but that’s a different ask), carefully petting her hair with just the tips of his fingers, down the bridge of her nose to make her go to sleep. Sophia loved his hands (like mother like daughter fr) could be occupied when he took her fishing by just letting her sit in his lap to play with his fingers, try on his wedding ring, ask why his nails are shorter than mommy’s or why they aren’t soft like mommy’s, map his calluses, trace the lines of his palms until he set a hook and watched him reel in dinner.

(Addition) hol up, hear me out— Sophia rooting around his bare chest and pacified with the curl of his knuckle, Sophia teething and gnawing on his fingers, Sophia learning to walk with her soft pudgy hands in his, Sophia squealing and giggling as he tickles her round lil tummy, Sophia’s only sitting still to get her hair brushed but only for daddy— Rust’s hands becoming the most abused part of his body after she’s gone

Crash era— this man does not give a shit about his hands, the most treatment they get is when he taped them together after breaking a finger, had a punching bag for obvious reasons and beat the shit out of it no gloves no tape constantly bruised. Not a stranger to working with mechanics (in Alaska, Travis would make sure he could keep his equipment running— boat engines, four wheeler oil changes, changing snow mobile tracks etc) and probably took his bike apart and put it back together just to make sure he could be Authentic, different calluses with new tools, divots in his skin lost to the unforgiving scraping bite of metal, hissing when he gets transmission fluid in his split knuckles

1995– habitual hand washing returns, dry as hell, his wrists probably crack and bleed in the winter (very very very rarely is annoyed enough to actual do something about it, probably had to bleed on one of his files— he’d use Johnson and Johnson baby lotion becuase that’s he only shit he knew, definitely drunk cried about it at least once, before sucking it up and swtiching to Vaseline), pull up bars give calluses at the base of the fingers/tops of the palms, just does calisthenics because who the fuck wants to buy equipment. Does all the upkeep on his truck (and thinking about it, this would be the first time he’d be like Alone alone in a long while, no handlers, no Iron Crusaders, no backstory upkeep, no dad, no wife, probably takes truck parts inside and cleans them on his kitchen counter because no one is there to say what the fuck are you doing— “we don’t mind being alone” okay Okay sure honey) Makes it worse by the talcum powder in his rubber gloves or licking his fingers to go through case files or staying too long in the dry archives where he can’t smoke so probably tapping his mouth, rubbing circles on his knuckles with his thumb or running it along his nails— don’t know what flavor of adhd that man has a strangle hold on but he can’t sit entirely still, fingers moving with the bits of his mind that aren’t occupied to keep himself from distraction, pretending he didn’t lose his patience with his fatherhood.

2002– Laurie :) home girl said that’s enough! Probably got recommendations from surgeons and plys him tins of hand salve, he doesn’t like the greasy feeling, but his girl is askin’ he won’t say no babey!

2012– full circle, back to them Alaskan fishing boat hands, type of hands that snag fabric (my husband isn’t a mechanic but does work with his hands and I can’t wear silk around him) and hair gets caught on, the man does not own a brush, finger combs his hair once a week and puts that shit in a hair tie, done with it.