#the second comment is majora.....

[batrogers]

Okay, fine, revisiting my “Time has PTSD” arguments in light of the most recent updates.

I’ve previously analyzed the question of Time’s reaction to the letter in Dawn pt. 9 here, and established my baseline that – what we do know about Time’s backstory strongly implies that there has been conflict in his Hyrule post-Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask which may have predisposed him to have strong, negative reactions to recent events like Twilight’s injury. I also did a revisit of that in the first part of Moving Forward, where Wild and the others were playing and Time seemed disconnected and out of it.

After the past few updates, I admit it’s striking to me that we’ve now gotten three sets of double-panel reactions where Time is blank for several seconds before actually displaying an emotional response (if he does at all.) It’s a really interesting choice on Jojo’s part.

This is literally every update except for “Enter...” since Dawn pt 9 (an update in which nobody talks at all.) Ever since the letter, Time has had a marked lack of response to the others. He’s reserved; he’s pulled back from treating them as comrades but he’s also retreated from giving orders. I noted in my last analysis that it looked like Time was calling the shots – but he’s not actually continued doing that. Once they set out, it seems like he’s just.... stopped.

Stopped engaging with them, and stopped reacting until something drastic (like the skultula, or bewilderment about the Epona comment) forces him to react, as happened with the likelike ages back.

A brief repeat of my prior analysis: while it’s been three years for us, between the last time Time smiled (when Sky asked him about Malon in ‘Miss Her’) to now, in-comic it has been maybe a few days, depending on how long Twilight took to recover. In that time, they battled Dink (who they don’t yet understand) Twilight ran off alone, showed back up and was taken out in seconds. Time made the split-second decision to save Twilight rather than battle an iron knuckle ala his era, and now we’re here.

Something I noticed on revisiting analysis is that we have seen Time get upset and off-balance before: when Wind began asking him about the Hero’s Legacy as well. Some of what people say when they analyze Time & Twilight stuff is how Time acts towards Twilight, as his son/descendent – but Wind is, in a sense, also Time’s successor and he reacted much the same way to him, too. Notably, Twilight in the midst of his injuries explicitly states some of his stubbornness is about his feelings about said legacy – both when he refuses to rest in the immediate, and while delirious in bed.

Whatever Time’s own burdens, Twilight very well may have actively made Time worse without realizing it. Knowing that someone looks up to you and has pushed himself to nearly dying would upset anyone, nevermind someone who possibly has been a commander (and, therefore, responsible for other people's safety) before too.

The tension of the Chain struggling to to sort themselves out in the dungeon is not helping, although I don't think everyone is oblivious to it. Warriors attempted to reassure him when they discussed the Iron Knuckle's survival, and they do still defer to him (Sky looks for his approval before entering the portal) even if they don't let his bad mood ruin theirs. (eg. Despite his scolding over the skultula, Entrance pt 2 is a playful scene.)

Time was not always like this. He’s playful, teasing the others and showing off his masks; he’s not nosy or controlling– he lets Legend refuse to explain his hair – but not entirely closed off, ala Sky asking him about Malon. I don’t think Jojo intends him to be a grumpy no-fun asshole (she drew this dayglo nonsense in the middle of Twilight taking forever to die), so I wonder.

What is the reason for his stress? And where is Jojo going with it? I’m deeply curious to see how the dungeon is going to play out, when someone who should be among their strongest members is so compromised. I don't think it's gone unnoticed, and my prediction (and, tbh, hope because I like the dynamic) is that Warriors may step in and try to get Time to calm down...

But mostly I wrote this to reiterate my feelings: I don't think this is "a bad mood." Time is legitimately upset, possibly triggered, and I am very sure -- as much as Twilight may have caused it -- it's not just about him.

(And, let me repeat bc I'm sure someone will try to take this and run with it: Twilight is not responsible for this.

He is not guilty in any way with respect to Time's trauma or subsequent behaviour; there's no way he could've known this would happen. I hope if it does keep coming up someone steps between them to cut it off... but acting like Twilight did nothing to set this off downplays how the group dynamic affects everyone and has the potential to cause conflict all on its own.

It's ten times more interesting to see that Time is reacting to something Twilight actually did, than some nebulous attachment to an idea of "family" that overrules sense, reason, or having met each other literally days or weeks ago at best.)

[geminiskulleta]

This is my very first post, and after seeing all of the lu and loz fanart on tumblr I thought what if all of the zeldas across each era in Hyrule came together linked universe style? I know this isn’t an original thought by any means but I think a story for the zeldas would be super cute and I’d like to show what my take on a Zelda story would be.

I designed a new lullaby (OOT Zelda) and I’d like to see your thoughts on her: Anything I could improve? Anyone else you’d like to see? Please let me know - hope you like it🫶🫶

Lullaby - the queen

Link: Hero of Time

Age: Early 30’s - The same age physically as Time and a year older than Malon.

• She is also known as the princess of destiny, and was surprised to have found out that nearly all of the Zeldas have heard of her and that She and Time became legends.

• The wisest and oldest of all the Zeldas, the unofficial leader.

• Very protective and caring towards the others - seen as the “mom” of the group.

• Holds a lot of regret for her past mistakes and the splitting of timelines (She remembers the events of OOT as she was a past user of the Ocarina. In every instance where time is rewound, she remembers even if it isn’t her that uses it. The same is true with Time.)

• Tries to be a good role model for the other Zeldas as she knows they look up to her, she feels a lot of pressure to be a perfect queen.

• Much less sure of herself than Time, her biggest fear is making mistakes that effect others and constantly second guesses herself. She tries her best to put on a brave face.

•She knows that Fable, Dusk and Tetra are her successors- each from a different timeline, but she is unsure how to tell them.

• She knew about the timeline where she and link lost against Ganondorf and the timeline that she and link had left behind, but never knew what became of it. She was distraught when she found out it had been flooded and turned into the great sea.

•She is able to see into the future, as she grew up her power became much stronger- her prophecies have never been wrong.

•She doesn’t dream anymore: She can only have visions. By closing her eyes and focusing very hard she can see tiny snippets of the future like flashes that will leave her to decipher their meaning, but the only way to get a clear vision is to fall asleep.

• When she has trouble sleeping, she will hum Zelda’s Lullaby, the others never comment on it as they fear she will stop.

•She will always listen to other people’s problems and do whatever it takes to help. She often puts others before herself and is very rarely selfish.

• She shares the trait of being too absorbed in work and pushing herself too far just like Flora. She just doesn’t know her limits when it comes to things such as that and she feels that no matter what she does, it will never be enough

• Needs reading glasses but the others make fun of her and call her Grandma when she puts them on

Relationship with Link:

• As children, she and time were friends but they drifted as they grew up.

• During her time as Sheik she trained hard for seven years; learning how to fight, mastering magic and learning everything there is to know about the temples and how to help link on his adventure.

• She remembers everything from the timeline that Time left, as she was a user of the ocarina. Much like him, she had the opportunity to relive the childhood that was taken from her but she would never be the same again. She was hardened by her and Times adventure. He told her some of what happened in Majoras mask and she felt like she was responsible for everything that happened to their kingdom, to her father, to Link. She began to avoid him due to crippling self hatred and believed that he was a living reminder of her failiures. He was very broken from Majoras mask and was in a dark place in his life. He didn’t care whether anyone stayed or left for a long time and his walls were only broken down when he met Malon again.

• When Lullaby and Time would talk as adults they were very formal and distant with one another. They felt on guard towards one another and didn’t know exactly why, as Time held no ill will towards the queen and Lullaby could never bring herself to hate him.

• As Time matured, his walls were broken down by Malon and he allowed himself to make connections and feel again. But Lullaby never had someone like that to help her through her pain, and she threw herself into her work to become a truly great queen. She was formal and almost robotic to anyone she met.

• As Time allowed himself to heal he would wonder about Zelda, but never reached out. He could never figure out why he was like this, why the thought of seeing Lullaby again scared him, but he was never understanding of his emotions.

• She and Malon are actually great friends and though they’re often too busy to see each other they send letters all the time.

• Fun fact: She planned and officiated Time and Malons wedding. She felt as though she owed it to Time and this is where she and Malon started to get to know eachother.

• She and Time haven’t properly spoken since the wedding. They spoke briefly and Time saw just how closed off Zelda was. He could see that she had been in an awful state of mind but he felt like he couldn’t help her. He wasn’t able to, he wasn’t strong enough.

• the whole ‘ age thing’ effects her too since she remembers the adult timeline. She says she is 34 but she doesn’t exactly know her age.

[kingsnake101]

Orphanage?

So this one is pure crack. I couldn't stop giggling when I re-read them. I'm gonna share both of them because they're pretty similar. Also I've never played Majoras Mask or OOT, so sorry if there are inaccuracies :/

So these ones are almost finished, so I think I'm going to let them speak for themselves. The first one takes place pre-lu, and the second one happens during lu.

Orphanage

“Link?”

Link hummed a reply, staring up at the large sign reading “Castle Town Orphanage”. He had escaped from there a few times, if he remembered correctly.

Malon squeezed his hand, laughing lightly under her breath. “Come on, Link, it's okay. We're not making any decisions yet,” she reassured him, although it didn't escape him that she stayed rooted in place. Hypocrite.

“What, is the great ‘Hero of Time’ too scared to talk to a couple kids?” she teased, although her hand was holding his in a vice grip.

“I don't see Malon, ‘Hero of the Hero of Time’ running inside,” he teased back, the cheesy title bringing a grin to his face. She elbowed him in the side.

Link went back to staring at the sign, pondering. Was he ready to be a father? Malon had reassured him over and over, but he still had his doubts. Deep down, he still felt like the feral little child running around the Lost woods.

A shout interrupted his train of thought, and he spun, instinctually stepping in front of Malon and hovering his hand over the hilt of his sword.

Across the street, a short teenager writhed in the grip of two castle guards. He wore a tunic as colorful as the insults spewing from his mouth; the fabric was split into quadrants of blue, green, purple, and red. A green headband held back golden hair, framing a round face with large, angry eyes. He was currently being carried towards the orphanage, held between two guards, a third one hovering nearby. The guards seemed resigned, as if they had done this song and dance countless times. Intrigued and a little worried, Link jogged forwards to meet the group.

“Excuse me, gentlemen, but is everything alright?” Link asked, which caused the kid to fall silent. Link met their eyes, a deep blue lake filled with annoyance and anger. Weird, but Link had seen much weirder.

The guards looked up, surprised.

“Ah! Sir Link!” the guard not currently restraining the teen greeted. “Everything is fine, we were just returning this one back to the orphanage,” he gestured to the restrained teen. The teen snarled at him, and the guard eyed him warily. “He keeps escaping, although we're not sure how. I swear, we might have to chain him to the wall at this point,” the guard chuckled dryly. The kid shot him a withering look that said “I'd like to see you try”. Link didn't miss the way he seemed to lean away from the kid. 

“Anyway, I believe we should get going. It was a pleasure seeing you, Sir Link,” the guard bowed his head respectively before walking towards the orphanage and waving the other guards forward. The kid didn't fight them this time, instead watching Link with sharp violet eyes. “Must be a trick of the light,” Link assumed.

“I like him,” Malon commented, a mischievous glint to her voice as she stepped up besides Link. Link nodded in response.

“He reminds me of you,” she grinned at him. Link rolled his eyes at that, but he couldn't deny that it was true. There had been a certain spark to that kid, one that reminded him of a feral child running around Hyrule in a quest to save the world.

He shared a knowing look with Malon. With only a moment's hesitation, she grabbed his hand, and started leading them towards the orphanage.

--

Link, or Four, stared out the window at the billowing smoke outside. The other link, also known as Time, stood in front of a roaring bonfire, expression blank. What looked to be a hand-painted child's bed crumbled to ash. A brightly colored balloon floated into the air, string singed, before being shot down with an arrow.

When Time found out who Four was he definitely lied about "sensing the hero's spirit" or something like that. Also, Time is now legally Four's dad. DO with that what you will (;

Orphanage 2

Four was abruptly awoken by three firm knocks on his door. Yawning, he slid out of bed, cringing slightly as his bare feet met the cold inn floor. The smith raised his arms above his head, sore joints popping into place. The night before had been rough. One minute, he had been sleeping peacefully in his bedroll, and the next, he was in the middle of Time’s Hyrule field. Alone. Thankfully, castle town was close and he had been easily able to find an inn. He quickly slid on his socks and shoes, just in case. 

The door creaked as he opened it, revealing a surprised castle guard with a fist poised to knock. Four blinked in surprise, opening the door fully.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” Four greeted, voice cracking with exhaustion. “May I help you?”

“Good morning. We received a concerned message from the innkeeper, and we were here to ask you if you are traveling with your parents,” the guard stated, brows furrowed slightly in worry. Four sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I am sorry if my stature fooled you, but I am not a child,” he replied through gritted teeth, annoyance glimmering in his chest. Seriously, had they never seen a short person before? “Well, then again, everyone in Time’s Hyrule is freakishly tall.”

“Mhm. Is there anyone around that could confirm that?” the guard asked, clearly not believing him.

Four fought down the urge to slam the door on their face. “No, there is not, because I am fully capable of traveling on my own. Is there any other way I could prove it to you?”

“Listen, kid, how about you come with us to the orphanage and we can sort this out,” the second guard offered, stepping forward and reaching out a hand. “We'll get you a nice meal and a warm bath, free of charge, how's that sound?”

Right. Four realized that he probably looked like a drowned rat, his sleep clothes absolutely covered in mud. “I appreciate the offer, gentlemen, but I have places I have to be,” Four practically growled, barely managing to stay civil. He began to shut the door, only to be stopped by a gauntleted hand.

“Young man, that wasn't a suggestion. Please don't make us do this by force,” the first guard clarified, trying to push the door open further. Four pressed back, holding firm.

“Fine. Princess Zelda can confirm my age,” Four hissed, just barely holding himself back from punching this man in the face.

“Yeah right. Come on, kid,” the second guard scoffed, helping his coworker push the door open and grabbing Four’s arm. Four panicked slightly, trying to yank his hand out of the soldier's grip.

“Don't fucking touch me!” Four snarled, but the soldier held firm. Logically, he knew that he should go along with them and escape later, but the blue part of him refused to budge.

“Grab his stuff, will you?” The man holding him directed the other. Four watched in horror as the first guard wandered over to his things, reaching for the four sword.

“Be careful with that!” Four snarled, a sliver of desperation slipping into his voice. 

Thankfully, the man seemed to hear him, and carefully picked up the sword by its sheath. Four relaxed slightly when his sword was wrapped up safely with the rest of his items.

“Come on, kid. Let's go,” the second guard, or Denthead, as Blue had spitefully named him, tugged on his arm.

“Fine! I'll go with you, you don't have to lead me around like a dog,” Four huffed, pulling his arm out of the man's grip. The man gave him a disbelieving look, but let go of his arm regardless.

Four begrudgingly followed the men out of the inn, making sure to send the innkeeper the nastiest stare he could manage. He felt accomplished when she looked away to study the guestbook.

He absentmindedly rubbed the aching marks on his wrist as he scanned the streets for escape routes.

Into the crowd? No, guards were everywhere and a bystander might catch him.

That alleyway? Possibly, but it didn't seem to go anywhere and the overhang would make it hard to get onto the roof.

Fruit stand? No, that lady looks like a snitch. Tavern? No, he'd be cornered too quickly.

A familiar tug of magic pulled him out of his thoughts. Looking around, he searched for the source of it, eyes eventually landing on a broken pot on the porch of a butcher’s shop. If he could get to that, he could escape.

Four glanced back at the first guard, a plan starting to form. He turned around, looking at the guard with the most worried eyes he could muster. The guard stopped, raising a slightly worried eyebrow.

“Sir? Can I tell you something?” Four whispered, glancing back to where Denthead continued to walk through the crowd. Four gestured for him to lean down.

“Um, sure. Just make it quick, we have to catch up to Lewis,” the guard leaned down, shuffling the items in his arms. Four saw the hilt of his sword peeking out of his tunic.

Four dramatically leaned forwards, positioning his head right by the man's ear. He leaned in, subtly grasping the very edge of the sheath.

In one smooth motion, he head butted the man as hard as he could and pulled the sword from his grasp. He lunged, sprinting for the portal.

Four threw himself at the porch, ignoring the shouts around him in favor of reaching the portal. The familiar feel of minish magic brushed his fingers, he was almost there-

A hand grabbed the back of his undershirt and yanked, throwing him backwards and into the metal-plated chest of the first guard. Four snarled, thrashing and kicking in the man's grasp. The guard seemed startled by his strength, but managed to hold on regardless.

“Shit! Anthony, what happened?” Denthead came running up, sword drawn.

“Kid tried to run away. Little bugger’s sneaky,” Anthony (or Jackass, as Blue had named him) grunted. Four stopped thrashing, realizing he had no hopes of escaping now. He gazed forlornly at the four sword, which laid on the porch, sheathed. Denthead went to pick it up, along with the rest of Four's stuff from where Jackass had dropped it.

“Let's get him to the orphanage, I don't want to be responsible for a runner,” Denthead snarked, turning on his heel and leading the way through the crowd. Four could feel Jackass huff as he followed.

One thing was for sure, Four hated this even more. Being bear-hugged by a complete stranger made his skin itch. The only old man that could hug him in full armor is Time, thank you very much.

Pushing any need to be mature aside, Four went boneless. He reveled in the way Jackass faltered, struggling to get a good hold on him.

“Come on, kid, can you be a little more mature about this?” Jackass muttered.

“Apparently, you think I'm a child, so I may as well act like one,” Four spat, trying to be as heavy as humanly possible. Jackass just sighed and adjusted his grip again.

“I miss my brothers,” Four thought bitterly.

“So, honey, what's your name?” The lady sitting across from him, Ms. Pori, asked. The guards had dropped him off with her, apparently trusting her to keep him in line. So here he was, sitting on a plush sofa across from a heavy-set woman with the most smile lines he had ever seen.

Four thought about it for a moment. What name should he give her?

“You can call me Four,” he decided. It sounded much weirder than Link, but it wasn't like he planned on staying here long. Surprisingly, she didn't react to the strange name, smiling at him and jotting it down on her clipboard.

“Alright, Four, and how old are you?” She asked.

“One billion,” he snarked, knowing she wouldn't believe him anyway. A distinctly red part of him felt bad for being rude.

Surprisingly, she laughed. “Alright then. I'll just put your age as unknown,” Ms. Pori smiled. “Are there any parents or relatives we can contact?”

Four sighed. He knew who to contact, but if Time told his brothers, he would never hear the end of it. He just hoped Time would keep this a secret.

“Lon Lon ranch,” Four answered. “My older brother, Link, lives there,” he clarified. 

“How old is your brother?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Four paused. How old was Time?

“Old enough,” Four decided. “He owns the ranch with his wife.”

“Alright then!” she chirped, standing up. “I'll contact him soon. For now, would you like to see your room?”

Four sighed, but stood up to follow her nonetheless. He didn't really care, he was escaping as soon as he could anyway. This was embarrassing enough and he really didn't want his brothers to have to pick him up from the orphanage.

A bell dinged as Time pushed the door open. It had been about a week since he had gotten the letter. Malon made up an excuse about having to go to castletown, leaving the ranch in Twilight, Sky, and Wild’s capable hands. Malon was currently leading the boys on errands around the other side of castletown. Time considered telling his boys about the situation, but then remembered that Four had blackmail on him from the truth serum incident. So, he decided to keep it to himself.

--

These ones were really fun to revisit! These are so stupid and I love them.

[rooreelooo]

Is your Nuts and Bolts LP still available anywhere?

hello, anonymous person from 2016. yes it IS.

when you originally asked this question it wasn't, but hey 8 years have passed and things have changed now. the world fucking sucks, but ONE way that it has improved is that i made the effort to upload my LPs to a modern video hosting platform. all three LPs are here - totalling 1 day, 15 hours, 22 mins and 36 secs of video. that's a lot! a lot a lot a lot! (remember that guy from majora's mask?)

and because i'm insane i also went to the effort of adding 'director's commentary' to every video, padding out this project even further. that's over 42,000 words of commentary that literally nobody will ever read, because immediately after i posted it all youtube rolled out an updated video design that masked the video description underneath a dropdown menu, thus ensuring my gags and mental breakdowns remain entombed in obscurity (where they absolutely belong). thanks a fucking lot!

this reupload project also features over 10k words of nuts & bolts fanfiction i wrote to go alongside the videos, which is... also something that nobody will ever read. i linked it here anyway. one thing about me is that i labour over massive projects that nobody will ever see, and i never finish them. my hard drive is a graveyard of video and writing projects that will never see the light of day in either complete or incomplete form. can i be real for a second though? i LOVE this. i think this is one of the funniest things i have ever written lmao. and i actually got it not only completed, but posted publicly too. holy shit.

i'm split on whether i should do anything else with this project. on the one hand, all that commentary i spent over a year writing should have a chance at being seen. arguably i should start putting those gags and comments somewhere that they might actually get eyes on them, like here on tumblr or on cohost or something. on the other hand, this is already a 16-year old video project that i have arguably milked for way more than it's actually worth. i already added unnecessary extra commentary to a dead series of LPs, can you imagine anything more depressingly recursive and masturbatory than putting those comments elsewhere... with further comments? lmao. that would be a horse-flogging so thorough that the horse would be reduced to a fine red paste.

don't let the big cartoon eyes on it's head fool you, this stone has no blood left to be wrung. but here's the links. enjoy them, please. don't forget they were made between the years of 2008-2010, that is very important contextualizing information. and for the curious, the reason why i never completed nuts & bolts is because i was depressed. and the reason why i have struggled to complete any creative pursuits for my entire adult life is because the spectre of this fucking project looms over me, kindly reminding me that this will ultimately be the fate of artistic endeavor i attempt.

[linktheacehero]

Rules: Give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and your fic with the least amount of words.

Thanks for the tag @zeldaelmo

Most hits

Tale of the White Devil- (Rated Teen/ Ongoing multichapter/ 14k) After defeating the evil spirit Majora, Link became stuck in the form of the Fierce Deity and, out of fear lived in the outskirts of the kingdom of Hyrule, never returning to his princess. Now, 10 years have passed since then and the people have been speaking in terror about a being called 'The White Devil', Zelda goes out to investigate and soon finds herself face to face with the terrifying devil.

Second most kudos

I love you too- (Rated General/ One shot/ 1.5k) After Link gets sent back to his original time, he decides to visit Zelda.

Third most comments

Din's Fire- (Rated Teen/ One shot/ 937 words) What if Link was the one who put the ring of fire around Zelda when you fight the Stalfos.

Fourth most bookmarks

Hold me close (In your arms)- (Rated General/ One shot/ 574 words) Link returns to the Temple of Time after awakening the 5 sages and meets a familiar face.

Fifth most words

Duet of Time- (Rated Teen/ Ongoing multichapter/ 1.6k/ Collab with @aheavenscorner) “I don’t follow.” Her voice was strong, but he could hear a small quiver. She was afraid, but why? Link tilted his head in confusion to her statement, though she had called him by his title before she had never done so when they were alone.

“You are Princess Zelda, aren’t you?” ---- OoT/TP Zelink Au that was inspired by Corpse Bride (it does not follow the plot of the film, just vibes).

Least amount of words

In your Arms I'm home- (Rated General/ One shot/ 287 words) For three centuries they had been separated by the will of the goddesses, waiting for the day they could finally reunite and fulfill their greatest wish in life. Today was that day.

Tagging: @pastelsandpining @farore-or-less @zeldaseyebrows @michpat6 @deiliamedlini

[cynthiaandsamus]

My con spoils! It's been like four years since I've been to a con so I splurged more than I usually did but it was lots of fun, may post some cosplay pics and/or selfies later when I sift through the photos.

Top photo is all my headshot autographs and the custom caricature from Kristen Mcguire, the Tohru one was actually drawn by her VA which was neat.

Second pic is all the things I got signed, my original Pokedex from 1999 before they added Mew which shocked Ash's VA since it was before she even had the role. Got Luci Christian added to my One Piece manga volume next to Coleen Clickenbeard from last time. Added Elizabeth Maxwell's Urbosa to my signed copy of Breath of the Wild that I got Zelda and Sidon's VA's to sign last time and got Patricia Summersett to sign Tears of the Kingdom so I have the pair, Charles Martinet signed my copy of 3D All Stars and commented on how flexible I was squeezing between the tables for the selfie so my limberness is Mario-approved XD. Tara Platt signed my Three Houses copy and I added Clifford Chapin to my My Hero Academia volume along with Coleen, Chris Sabat, and Justin Briner and he yelled that I should've come to him first so I got yelled at by Bakugo so that seems fitting. At the bottom I got all my pins and stickers, Gawr Gura keychain, Boba Tea Bulbasaur, Makima and Nami stickers, Raymond and Carrot pins and my trader Jawa spoils with a coin and mini Gonk Droid I traded for a coke can.

Third pic is two things I got at the con that have signatures on the inside, Kakashi's booth was selling Make-Out Paradise notebooks so I got him and Yuri Lowenthal to sign it and the Chainsaw Man volume I bought prior has a funny story, I got Aki's VA to sign the inside and then Power started signing the cover so I went to stop her and she finished the cover and did the inside too, Denji's VA liked the story so much he decided to do the same so they could 'be idiot siblings together' and I also got Makima on the inside. And of course next is my plushies, got Pochita, Marin, Mini-Makima and Nobara

Next two pics are my new Dragon Maid S Wall Scroll which replaced my old One Piece one I got from Disney like ten years ago and several posters I got, found the only Hololive booth and got a Calli and Gura poster as well as a Kobayashi/Tohru Wedding pic from the Artist's Alley the Majora's Mask poster is actually a holographic print that switches between Link and Skull Kid so that's cool.

And last but not least I got some figures, Summer Musashi, Bloomers Umu, Rebecca in the Solider outfit, Makima, and a lightly used Homura Akemi.

Lots of fun stuff, now I just gotta find places to put it all XD

And for anyone that reached the end, here's my pic from the Burlesque show Friday night.

[danrifics]

Bethanie I'm sorry I'm bringing up Zelda discourse but this has been on my mind for months since you posted it. A few months ago, i believe it was December, you said that people only have twilight princess as their favorite Zelda game because it was their first and they are nostalgic. I'm sorry, but this is simply untrue. I have done a poll with my friends. My first Zelda game was windwaker, two of my friends have a link to the past as their first, one had ocarina of time, and three have Majora's mask. All of us have twilight princess as our favorite Zelda game. I in particular love it so much that since middle school I have planned to get a tattoo from it on my ribcage, and memorized the Zelda timeline just to understand where it fit in there. I cannot stand for this twilight princess slander - while nostalgia is part of it, it also just happens to be the best Zelda game. I'm sorry but also not.

(btw ily this isn't supposed to be actually aggressive, just joking aggressive. Obviously you can like whatever Zelda games you like).

okay first, im so sorry this has been plaguing you for months???

second, i literally am so confused i have no memory of this comment?? i also was under the impression that i very much love twilight princess and that its one of my favourites???

i do however want to stand by the fact that botw and totk are the best zelda games and i will not be convinced otherwise 😂

[journalsouppe]

Here’s my second ever journal entry and another one of my favorite games! After this entry, I started transitioning to more commentary and longer summaries but I’d always love to play the 3DS OOT and MM games and make new journal entries.

I have so much love for both Ocarina and Majora’s, the only other Zelda game that stands with them so close to my heart is Breath of the Wild. I love the Zelda series but these games in particular have done so much for me.

I also want to say I think it’s unfair to pit the girlies (Ocarina and Majora’s) against each other. I think you can absolutely like one more than the other, but neither would be as amazing without the other. Ocarina can absolutely stand by itself, but the reason it’s so impactful is BECAUSE you get to see how traumatizing the events of Ocarina were in Majora’s Mask. Not many Zelda games have a sequel, which means were rarely get to see the aftermath of the events from the series. Majora’s Mask also gave double meaning to a lot of things in Ocarina such as the Happy Mask Salesman and the enemies. How the more terrifying it is to encounter Gibdos in Ocarina after learning about the curse in Majora’s.

Truly a superb game, and as it should be bc we share the same birth year!!! Ugh I could go on forever just to add more notes and comments about this game but I will save that for a future journal entry or essay.

Writing typed below!

Rating: 9.7/10 Watched: Spr 2022 (Keith Ballard, OG on WiiU port)

Comments:

Skull Kid is such a great enemy, I love his story

BIG SWORD

I love the different swords since Link can't use the Master Sword

The origins of Tingle

WTF IS MAJORAS WRATH AND INCARNATION

Why do the fairies look like this...

Boogie Woogie

Schafrillas has a great analysis video

Summary: Although some of the mechanics are clunky, it has one of my favorite stories and overall game mechanics (3 day time loop). It is so rich in telling a story for each townsperson while showing Link's selflessness despite his devastation. It is quite a tragic tale. Link has gained the strongest power imaginable but he still doesn't have his best friend. My heart goes out to Link and his tragic heroism.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Is there any fic you would recommend us on ao3? Something that stole your heart or that was different/special for you?

Uhhhhhhh My Immortal

…Ok no, actual rec‘s. Um.

Meet us at the Milk Bar is a really good fic. It’s about all the NPC‘s in Legend of Zelda: Majoras Mask getting together one by one to spend their last hours until the moon falls onto them, and man. The emotions. You don’t even need much context from the game to understand it (though it obvs has more impact that way) so please, read it.

That’s kinda the main one rn but for a bunch of other stuff (ignore it, it’s just a lot of self-indulgent fic recs)

Harry Potter and the Lack of Lambsauce. A fic about Gordon Ramsey (the way he‘s presented in his shows) being a professor in Hogwarts. I know it sounds like a pure crack-fic, but isn’t, has 99 chapters and is genuinely pretty good as far as I can tell. And I don’t even care about Gordon Ramsey, let alone Harry Potter.

The Heart and Soul Series which is pretty much the Kirby fic series (I don’t. Actually read anything Kirby related otherwise, surprisingly). Though, granted, it needs a bit of character context. Enemies to friends but they’re still rivals and also idiots.

(grabs the funny subway man) YOURE GOING BACK HOME FUCKER is not a crack fic. It’s a submas reunion fic. The Hurt/Comfort is real and strong with this one

And also 97% of what I read is in Legend of Zelda & related fandoms, sooooo. Yeah. If nesting multiple readmores into each other were a thing, I‘d put one here, but alas. I

Hero, what ails you? Whump. Hero collapses after being too stubborn to realize he’s got pneumonia, gives skeleton-mentor a second heart attack in the process

My Inner Life, their outer Nope. Roast-fic. Assortment of various Zelda characters torture themselves live-read and comment on the fic "My Inner Life“, also known as the My Immortal of Zelda fics

Dimensional Links, the OG of OG‘s of "throw all the Link‘s together“ AU‘s, pretty much the first ever fic I read, forgot everything what happens in the plot but still remember it being really good so it must be

And speaking of "throw Links together“ AU‘s, since you genuinely can’t take two steps in any Zelda tag on AO3 or tumblr without coming across Linked Universe stuff might as well throw some of those here too

How to kill a God Really engaging Murder Mystery with lots of world-building. Might as well be Original Work. Which is great so you don’t even need any context!

The Most Sincere Kind of Lie someone put this one in a collection called "Darkest LU shit I can find“ and. Yeah. It’s really good. Angst. So much Angst. It hurts a lot, but it’s. Just. Really well written

Stick a Fork in 'em cause they Done got Roasted crack/roast fic parodying the way fanon generally writes the different Links. I hate/love how accurate these are lmao

A Fishing Rod in Hand is Worth 2 in System Memory LU but glitches are a thing. Whatever this particular type of "4th wall break but not quite“ is called (Undertale does that too) I like it. + Crack treated seriously is always fun. + this has an actual story, so honestly I‘m not even sure if it can still be called crack, + it comes with descriptions for all the glitches, + while it says 6/? the way it currently ends makes for a pretty good open ending so it’s cool

[ondessiderales]

Unheimlich

« L'Inquiétante Étrangeté (Das Unheimliche en allemand) est le titre, souvent traduit ainsi (L'inquiétante étrangeté) en français, d'un essai de Sigmund Freud paru en 1919. »

« Unheimlich vient de Heim. Ce mot signifie « le foyer », la maison, et introduit une notion de familiarité, mais il est aussi employé comme racine du mot Geheimnis, qu'on peut traduire par « secret », dans le sens de « ce qui est familier » ou « ce qui doit rester caché ».

Unheimlich est un terme très présent dans la littérature allemande, en particulier la littérature romantique. Jacob et Wilhelm Grimm lui consacrent un important article dans leur dictionnaire. Il est également très présent dans les écrits d'Ernst Theodor Amadeus Hoffmann, Clemens Brentano, Justinus Kerner, Theodor Körner, Ludwig Tieck, etc. »

« Ainsi que le commente S. de Mijolla-Mellor, l' Unheimliche se présente comme « cette variété particulière de l'effrayant qui remonte au depuis longtemps connu, depuis longtemps familier » (Freud), de sorte qu'on est dans un paradoxe car le familier ne devrait pas être inquiétant : la réflexion freudienne concerne dès lors le moi-plaisir originel « qui coïncide avec le bon et rejette le mauvais » ramenant à l'opposition Moi/Non-Moi de Pulsions et Destins des pulsions (1915). Comme on ne s'explique pas pourquoi ce familier puisse devenir menaçant, on en arrive à un second aspect de l' Unheimliche : le secret, le caché ; Freud emprunterait à Schelling l'idée selon laquelle « ce qui doit rester dans l'ombre, mais en sort cependant est étrange parce que porteur d'une transgression ». Le roi Lear et ses filles, Chronica Majora de Matthieu Paris, vers 1250.

D'après Jacques Sédat, Freud reprend dans L'inquiétante étrangeté le thème du « non familier » ou du « familier devenu étrange » qu'il a introduit dans « Le motif du choix des coffrets » (1913) : en repartant de l'étymologie du mot, Sédat note que « l'ambivalence du terme Heimlich (familier) coïncide avec son contraire, Unheimlich. Ce sont deux termes qui peuvent s'échanger, pour signifier la même chose ». C'est ainsi que l'inquiétante étrangeté « ouvre sur la question du double » : là où pour Freud, « le moi, c'est le corps » ou l'image du corps, le double, comme « réassurance narcissique contre le “déclin du moi” (der Untergang des Ichs) », annonce « les pertes des limites corporelles ».

Dans « Le motif du choix des coffrets », qui se trouve dans la mythologie et chez Shakespeare (Le Marchand de Venise, Le Roi Lear), Freud constate que l'homme « opte inexorablement pour le troisième choix, celui qui, en réalité, préfigure la mort » , c'est-à-dire la troisième des trois Parques. Dans son article intitulé « La pulsion de mort : hypothèse ou croyance? », Sédat montre comment Freud articule le Unheimlich à la contrainte de répétition, ainsi que l'annonçait « Le motif du choix des coffrets », où il écrit que « le choix est mis à la place de la nécessité, de la fatalité » : l'homme « croit choisir alors qu'il ne fait qu'obéir à la contrainte », souligne Jacques Sédat. »

[byemizumikahago]

Mizumi on youtube

I found a bunch of old videos/comment section mizumi was a part of 11-9 years ago. One is an AMV (anime music video) collaboration with someone, and the other is her featuring in 4 videos from a person's Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask's playthrough.

(DISCLAIMER: DON'T GO AND HARASS THESE PEOPLE. THESE VIDEOS ARE A DECADE OLD AND IT'S HIGHLY LIKELY THAT THESE PEOPLE AREN'T EVEN FRIENDS WITH MIZUMI ANYMORE. HARASSING INNOCENTS DO NOTHING TO HELP, AND WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE. Thank you)

The existence of these comments/collabs by themselves proves... nothing, really. The content of them doesn't say anything about mizumi's character (not that I'd know, I don't speak German well enough to fully translate everything she says), and, even if they DID say something important, it's from a decade ago, so what value would it hold in comparison to mizumi's actions now?

I'd be lying if I didn't admit, however, that I'm at least a bit curious as to the contents of the Zelda playthrough are. Google translate can give me a rough idea of what her comments say, but not the whole video. If anyone out there speaks German, and can help me, that would be very much appreciated.

I'm also a bit confused about this specific screenshot from the second person's channel:

"Do you like AMV's? Check her channel, too", but there's no videos at all. Completely empty. Not even any playlists, nothing. This suggests Mizumi could've unlisted/privated/deleted these "amv's" sometime between 11 years ago, and today (so, there's no real way to narrow it down). I'll have to go back through her history to try and find any mention of amv's, or featuring in a zelda playthrough, or anything. This will probably take a while, so be patient while I do so.

This post doesn't really accomplish or share anything noteworthy. It doesn't expose/shed light on the truly nasty, deplorable side of mizumi as a person, all it shows is that, yeah, mizumi used to make amv's with someone and was in a zelda majora's mask video. Big deal, so what?

BUT! What this post, and what this whole blog sets out to do, is not just to expose/call out mizumi, but to archive her actions over the course of her internet identity, since she makes it a hobby to delete anything and everything from her past without a care in the world.

So yeah, I'll continue to try and find more context behind these images. Because who knows, my search could lead me to find something important; something I never would've been able to find if I hadn't turned my head to look in that direction.

[xxsabitoxx]

Shinobu’s NSFW A-Z

Warnings: contains smut!

A/N: In honor of Shinobu’s birthday, y’all are getting a second post todayyyyyyy — once again, prompts are from @ fairy-tail-babes

A = Aftercare

She’s so sweet. I’m talking like massaging you, running a bath for the two of you. Just cuddling in general. She’s so damn sweet

B = Body part

On her: she likes her ass and hips

On you: she loves your chest and stomach

C = Cum

She isn’t a huge fan of messy sex so if her partner is male she would rather them come inside or at least somewhere on her that’s easy clean up

With women loves trying to make them squ!rt lol — she herself isn’t much of a squ!rter tho

D = Dirty Secret

The main reason she doesn’t like degradation is because it will actually make her cry

E = Experience

Honestly she had no time to even experiment before meeting you, so her experience is practically none

F = Favourite Position

Scissoring is a personal favorite when she has female partners

When she is with male partners she prefers cowgirl cause it gives her more control

G = Goofy

She’s pretty serious during sex, maybe making a few snarky comments here and there

H = Hair

I think she’s usually clean shaven / waxed down there but only when she has time

Normally she has a bit of hair but she doesn’t let it get like super grown out

I = Intimacy

I think she’s fairly romantic during sex, but she’s also like…horny. So sometimes she’s not super romantic

J = Jack Off

Similar to her experience, she has so much to do that she really doesn’t get the time to do things like that

Usually if she has a night to herself and you aren’t present she may

K = Kink

Degrading (giving)

Master / slave

Bondage

Begging

L = Location

Anywhere so long as you don’t get caught. There are alway wandering eyes at the butterfly estate

M = Motivation

You. You are literally her motivation

Nearly everything you do low key turns her on

N = NO

Absolutely no age play. It freaks her out especially since she’s a big sister. It turns her off

Also, no face fucking if you are a Dude. Low key makes her mad

O = Oral

Receiving and she’s a bit greedy about it

She likes to give oral as well, but she likes to use it as a reward

P = Pace

She’s putting 110% effort into everything she does

She’s usually going a moderate pace that is a bit hard

Q = Quickie

Always down for a quickie. She’s a busy lady after all

R = Risk

She is okay with the risk as long as no kids are around. She’d die if Kanao or one of the little butterfly babies caught her

S = Stamina

Oh she can keep going until you are done. She could totally go all night if you wanted

T = Toy

Modern universe real quick lol. She loves toys, she finds sex a little boring if they aren’t added in

Canon universe tho, she’ll find ways to incorporate toys. Anything is one…if you try hard enough

U = Unfair

Oh she is totally greedy during sex, she loves to hear you beg

V = Volume

Fairly loud. Definitely doesn’t try to hold back any moans when she knows people can’t hear her

W = Wild Card

She wants you to literally abuse her breasts, she’s a fan of breast play / torture

X = X-Ray

Why is it so easy to describe a dick but low key awkward to describe a puthy. Like the adjectives are questionable lmaooo

I think she has a puffy (?) labia majora, you can’t see anything else unless you spread her apart

Forgive me for being awkward y’all.

Y = Yearning

She has a high sex drive but she is able to manage / ignore it when she’s busy

Z = Zzz

She usually goes to do some work or research after

Or she’ll spend time with you until you fall asleep

[lunarwildrose]

Collab with Matt - Set 3

Better viewed on deviantART: https://www.deviantart.com/tealightstories/art/Collab-with-Matt-Set-3-922644303

So, for my art music video collab with my best friend, Matty aka AltoonaYourPiano on YouTube, I drew several of our original characters to be featured in the story.

This third and final set features Jewelia "Judy" Zhora Aveil and Robert's personal self-inspired character Christian Amaranth who he drew to help me out with the collab. Like Viktor with Micky, Christian used to share Robert's real name for many years. Anyway, Judy is my second created OC made to be Mitchi's best friend, and named after Judy Garland, who was one of our Gramma's favourite actresses. Her backstory was based on Makoto Kino aka Sailor Jupiter with being a problem child who transferred to Mitchi's school, and Mitchi being the only one not afraid of her, thus they became fast friends, while her design was initially inspired by Dixie Kong's alternate costume in DKC2, with later inspiration and a redesign drawn from the Gerudo women in The Legend of Zelda (Aveil is the name of a Gerudo pirate in Majora's Mask BTW). With redesigning her into an adult, she also became more stoic, cold and mature, becoming much more of the Ada Wong to Christian's Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil.

Here's the link to our art music video collab celebrating both our 20+ years of friendship and Matty's YouTube music channel hitting the ten year mark today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--2JfUfYPR0

He covers some basic history and flashbacks of his channel for the first 15-ish minutes, then introduces his original characters (along with one of ours being Kaye drawn by Matty), and then deets covering our lifelong friendship come in at about 24-ish minutes, with my art and Rob's art coming in after that with some commentary by our characters; supervised by us too.

P.S. The background is by my bestie, Matty!! :D Also, read my pinned comment for more fun deets on YouTube!! >:3

[eerythingisshaka]

Check Up

[Doctor!Erik “Killmonger” Stevens x Reader]

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: A light filth

A/N:  I was in the Vagina Monologues at my college and there’s one skit/story about a vagina workshop that inspired this one.  Enjoy

Your leg bounces up and down anxiously as you sit waiting for your name to be called.  You made sure to arrive extra early to account for a crowd or forms to fill out asking all the standard, invasive questions that any health facility is required to know.  This visit was particularly nerve wrecking considering your friend’s referral to come.  

One night during a girls hangout, wine and tea was spilled while discussing your personal lives.  Your one friend from high school griped about how yet another Tinder date didn’t live up to their profile and couldn’t hold his own in the bedroom later to add insult to injury.  Your other friend from college  was a little more mum about her escapades and turned out it was for a reason you weren’t expecting.

“We decided to open up our marriage.”  She says.  

You both gasp involuntarily before bargaining for more information.

“Are you guys not happy?  Whose idea was it?  It’s only been three years!”  You exclaim.

She sniffs her wine glass while taking a deep breath.  “All valid questions and comments  but it was my idea.  In a small way, I’ve always been polyamorous.”

“I thought you were just a cheater but…”  Your high school friend mutters.

“Get outta here!  Those were misunderstandings of love.  I enjoy the company of every partner I come across but I haven’t found the one that could be my anchor as I continue to love freely.”

“So he is really ok with this?  With other men?”  You ask as slow as possible to get your point across.

“Yup!  Luckily he is not gross to think one sex is ok over another.  It’s all the same whether I liked men or women but my heart is his always.  And honestly, it’s been hot ever since we just talked about it.  Like we just got a jump start!”  

“Hell, I need a jump start.  I wish I could make an appointment to my vagina workshop but I ain’t had the time.”

“The hell is that?”  You whip around to your high school friend intrigued.

“It’s got some official title, but at the clinic on Grand, they have some workshop that teaches you how your vagina works and the BEST thing of all, how to achieve orgasm.  Now when I went there some lady just told me where to find and touch and how to relax but I heard some big fella up there now is helping out and chile, if he was there when I went, my next stop woulda been the OB!”

Your college friend fans herself.  “So wait wait wait.  A fine man doctor teaching me how my pussy works?  Why haven’t you told us before?!”

“I said he wasn’t there when I was!  Plus this was before I was told you married with an asterisk.  Emphasis on the risk.”

“On Grand you say?”  You pull out your phone to Google.

“Mhm, that’s right.  Cuz if anybody needs it, it’s you.  How long has it been since you even went out with somebody?  I have tried to set you up, make a dating profile for you, wingwoman a guy at the bar, with no results!”

You shrug.  “Sounds like your problem.  But ummmm listen.  I do wanna check this out, but no way am I letting a stranger touch me like that.  I just want pointers-”

“And a story to tell us afterwards, ok?!”  College friend cackles along with high school friend.  You roll your eyes looking over the website, praying they take your insurance.  No mention of a fine ass doctor but hopefully fate worked in your favor.

Which brings you to where you are today: in a lobby with about 4-5 women looking at their phones or a magazine preparing for their treatments.  

“Come on back!”  The joyful nurse says, holding the door open for you.  You snap back to reality as the white walls are almost blinding against the lighting as you are led to a room with a 4 above the door.

“You can have a seat while I get you settled.”  

You sit on the examination table as she signs on to her computer and asks you general questions.  What brings you here?  When was your last cycle?  Have you had issues with this?  Pain during that?

“I’m really just here for informational purposes more than anything.  I would like to know more about myself but I haven’t had problems.”

“Ok.  And when was your last sexual experience?”  She asks as she types.

“Including myself or…”  You ask.

“Not including yourself.”  She says with a reassuring smile.  

You think and start to feel hot with embarrassment.  “It’s definitely been over a year…”  Or five more like it.

“Ok, that’s fine.  And have you had issues achieving orgasm with a partner or by yourself?”

You mull it over.  “Not...necessarily.  It has been a while since I could lately, but I have been busy with work too, so…” 

“Ok, that is up to you to bring it up with Doctor Stevens when he sees you.  But that is the end of my questions so at this time we have a gown over there if you would like to disrobe.  We offer an examination or a self examination if you so choose.  Unless you request otherwise, it will be mainly superficial and informational so don’t expect a pelvic exam or anything like that, ok?”

You nod, thanking her as she steps out, closing the door behind her.  The room felt more cold and quiet now that you are alone, but you waste no time in getting undressed.  Your worst nightmare is to take your time and accidentally be walked in on.  

The gown is clean but lacks in softness, plus your ass was hanging out  no matter how tight you tied the strings around you.  The paper separating your skin from the exam seat crinkles loudly as you fidget, looking over the posters of the female reproductive system and molds of various vaginas.

One catches your eye that is see through, showing the depth of the canal.  You can’t help but get your phone out and take a picture.  You text it to the group chat and start to search for a good meme reaction when a rapid knock startles you.

“Good afternoon, Ms.- OH!”  

The deep voice behind you makes you drop your phone and it is not until you bend over to pick it up that you realize your ass is not covered in that gown.  You spin around, backing up to the wall to pick it up.

“Sorry!  I didn’t mean to barge in like that.”  He says, face covered by a clipboard.

You put your phone in your bag and tiptoe back onto the table, cursing yourself out for embarrassing yourself.

“It’s fine, really it was all me.  I shoulda stayed my ass seated.”

He pulls down the clipboard, giving a meek smile.  “Frankly, it’s not the first time it happened.  Shame on me.”  

You feel your breath leave your body a split second when you finally see the man that got your friends so ready to come back.  He did not look like the type to even be interested in medical school, but you thank God prejudices are not facts.  He was the most beautiful doctor you had ever been seen by and so modern looking, with his short locs bound in a mini ponytail to the back of his head, and the sides shaved.  His eyes were so youthful they made you feel silly to stare and despite his small smile, his dimples announced themselves proudly.

“Well, isn’t it, ‘fool me twice, shame on you?’”  You respond, pulling your gown down and sitting up straighter.

This made him smile wider, and you thanked God generously.  “I never blame a patient.  It might be a HIPAA thing, but I might be making that up too.”

He pulls up a stool and sits down, checking over the notes on the clipboard.  “Now, as I started to say...what brings you in?”

Your mouth began to feel dry.  This was easier to discuss before, but you really don’t want to go deep into your personal life with him now.  “I just...uh, wanted information on the body.  You know, the female parts and what I may not know.”

He nods, looking back to you.  “It says you have had trouble achieving orgasm lately?”

“WOW!  I did not-”

“It’s ok!”  he says, graciously interrupting.  “That’s what a lot of people are here for.  You aren’t alone.”

You cover your face.  “This is embarrassing, why did I even come here.”

“Look, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.  I won’t ask you or bring up anything you don’t want to discuss.  But I am here to help, so let’s make the most of our time here.”

You look at him again, seeing the sincerity on his face.  A face like his can’t be completely trusted around any hot blooded woman but he is a doctor.

“Let’s start from the basics.”  Dr. Stevens pulls one of the example molds from the counter and places it in front of him, facing you.  

“Now a lot of people call all of this the vagina, but in actuality it is called the vulva.  That includes the labia minora, labia majora, urethra and clitoris.  Only when discussing your vaginal opening and inward, is it actually the vagina.”

“Ohhh, really?”  You ask, leaning in for a closer look.  He nods, smiling at your perceived interest.  “Now where is the urethra on here…”

He points to a tiny hole that you couldn’t have found with the CIA on your side.  

“I figured it was somewhere there, but you know I didn’t know there were three holes until an episode of Oprah told me when I was a teenager?”

“I have heard that before.  It’s unfortunate how many women don’t know about their own bodies when they own them, right?  But curriculums aren’t set up to teach it without thinking they are sexualizing things to kids.”

“But it’s not!  It’s their bodies, they have those things so they should know!”

He raises a hand up to you and you smack it without thinking.  The loud clap between you both sends a shock beneath you.  The doctor’s charm was bringing you out of your shell little by little.

“Right.  The best way of learning is demonstrative.  They gotta see what you’re talking about to get it.  Now I’m going to bring back what we spoke about earlier…”  He points to a higher area of the vulva.  “On here, the clitoris is here.  It’s fairly easy to spot, it’s not hidden and that’s just to make it easier for a teacher to show.  But not everyone is like this.”

“I know where mine is, so that’s fine.” 

“However…”  

You roll your eyes.  “Sure, it’s like your little paper says.  I can’t always get what I want from it.”

Dr. Stevens nods understandingly.  “Ok, that’s common.  Now one offer we have is an examination.  I won’t have to do anything but observe.”  

He stands up to reach underneath the side of the exam chair you’re sitting on to pull out a mirror on an extendable arm.  “You would just view yourself here and if you have questions along the way, I’ll answer them.”

You puff your cheeks to get rid of nerves, sitting back slightly as the paper crinkles and crackles.  

“I’ve been examined before.  Not my first rodeo, so let's do this.”   

A part of you couldn’t help but feel curious about what he may have to say about your parts as you hike your gown up.  He pulls out two mini stirrups to rest your feet on as you spread your legs apart.  Dr. Stevens stands next to you, adjusting the mirror to get the best visual of your vulva for you.

“Huh.”  You say.

“What’s up?”   He asks.

“Mine looks nothing like the diagram.”  You take your hand to pull apart your lips some. 

“What do you notice is different?”  He asks.

“A lot,” you say with a tone of defeat.  Why does every vagina depict this pink flower with symmetrical lips that barely overflow and a ready clitoris that probably distracts if you had to ride a bike.

Dr. Stevens stands beside you, hands behind his back, peering politely from you to the mirror reflection.  “What specifically?”

You exhale deeply.  “Right out the gate, the color is nothing like the rappers be talking about.  Pink pussy this and that.  It looks kind of like if you had grape bubblicious and once the flavor is gone and you toss it?  Yeah….”  You pull your inner lips to the side with your middle and ring finger.  “And my urethra is there huh?”

He nods, adjusting the mirror for shared benefit.  “Exactly right in the middle.  It’s kind of small so not surprising that you wouldn’t notice.”

“Interesting.”  You feel a sense of discovery within you as you actually learn a thing or two from this exercise.  Looking back at the model vagina on the counter, you think of a new question.

“Ok, so the clitoris right?  Why is it so difficult for me to get to it?”

Dr. Stevens crosses his arms.  “Well, you might be affected by the clitoral hood.  It helps to protect it but can be bothersome during arousal.  So depending on what position you are in, it may take some maneuvering.  Try moving it back now; take two fingers on either side and pull back.”

You do as instructed, feeling a sensation hit your exposed skin until you see the little pearl looking button that must be it.  Your finger grazes it, making your legs jerk unexpectedly.

“Whoa, ok, haha.  That’s it.”  You laugh sheepishly, pulling your legs closer together.

He places a hand on your back encouragingly.  “That’s ok!  Honestly, it's best to make sure you also have feeling.  Don’t be shy to try.”

You open your knees again and gently feel around for your clitoris again.  You can tell you’re close but the feeling is not as intense.  Embarrassment starts to affect you as you notice your concentrated expression is not at all sexy and what woman doesn’t know where to stimulate themselves.

Dr. Stevens notices the trouble, stepping away from you to get a pair of gloves, latex popping against his skin.

“It looks like you are rubbing yourself through your clitoral hood, which can be fine but I think for what issue you’re having, you would want as much surface area pleasure as possible.  Now I could show you, but that’s up to you.”

Your body tenses up at the question he was asking.  Seeing as he has gloves on, you don’t suspect he meant to show you on the model vagina.  But that’s why you’re here, right?  To get help and also to be touched by a smart, handsome, kind gentleman that you never met in a backroom: just the normal human experience.

“Uh...well, it would certainly make it easier.  Sure.”  You say, moving your hand back to grip the exam seat as you sat like you were in the final stages of giving birth.  You repeat in your mind that he is a medical professional that means no harm and any gynecological exam gets awkward sometimes and he has also seen thousands, so yours won’t get him any more rattled than the next one.  

You watch as he nods to you, confirming he received your consent.  He rests one hand on your knee and the other reaches toward your now throbbing lips.  Time seems to move slow until he finally makes contact, giving you a jolt again.

“Sorry.  I know it’s different with a foreign hand but let me know if it’s uncomfortable.”  He says kindly.

You take a deep breath and drink in his comforting words.  “All good!  X marks the spot, right?”

You feel his fingers slide along your inner lips, giving them an occasional gentle pull that curls your toes.  “Now, your labia minora doesn’t look like the model because the model is the depiction of a white woman’s genitalia.  More often, Black people won’t have that high pink color that is praised as you said.  But it does not make you abnormal or less desirable.”

“No?’  You ask quietly, relaxing under his touch once again.  The medical terminology is a good distraction from what is happening, so you try concentrating on that instead of your growing arousal.  

He smirks, revealing those dimples that caught your eye again.  “Not at all.  So don’t listen to anything otherwise.  You look perfect.”  He looks at you as he says this, pulling and stroking at your lips slowly you can’t help the arousal building between you, breaking eye contact as soon as possible to study the mirror.  

But that only makes you hotter to see him touch you as you gasp out,  “Well that’s good news!”  

He looks back down at your vulva again.  “Now I am doing this one handed, which may not be comfortable when you attempt, but it’s easiest for me since my fingers are thick and nimble.”

“Hey, practice makes perfect...I mean, not like you have played with a lot of vagina before.  Not played but examined...which I guess if you’re good at it, you would have played with many vaginas then, right?”

Dr. Stevens gives you a confused look before breaking into a chuckle.  “Not ‘played’.  I don’t play with anything.  I work.”

 And I am glad you clocked in, you thought.

“But as I was saying, the clitoral hood can be pulled back like so…” 

You feel it before you can see it.  His thick fingers fan your lips out so much easier than your own hands, you gasp audibly before covering it with a cough.

“Uh huh, go on.”  You croak.

He appears to barely notice as he studies the reflection of your clit in the mirror, pressing his middle finger right on the peak.

“And that makes for a more accessible area in which you can arouse yourself, like so.”  

He slowly circles your clit over and over again, much longer than you expected for an examination.  Are you supposed to say stop, you’re unsure.  Can he sue you for cumming on his hand?  You feel your thighs beginning to buckle and attempt to close them but his grip on your knee was stronger than you noticed at first.  Once his middle finger plunged inside of you, there is no going back.  You can’t control the small mewling sounds you make as he touches you.

“You have a good amount of lubrication produced as well.”  He says matter of factly, spreading your wetness along your lips.  He bites down on his lower lip as he rubs your vulva.

“No shit!  I mean…”  You slip up, getting too comfortable but he pats your knee, flashing that winning smile.

“It’s ok, just remain relaxed, you’re almost done.  But yeah, long as you keep the hood pulled back like so and set a rhythm, you should have a pleasurable experience going forward.  If not, come back to me”

“I’ll cum alright,” you moan as your head falls back as you bring your hips forward, rocking against his hand for more friction.   This naughty spirit enveloped you.  If he ever said to stop, your train would’ve derailed, but he never did.  His accommodations to your reactions sent you further down a path to unrighteous glee.

He penetrates you with two fingers, while running this thumb along your clit in tandem with the strokes.  “Is that better?”  He asks, stroking you faster.

You nod, throwing caution to the wind as you grab hold of his wrist, writhing against his finger before your body decides it has had enough.  You felt like how chocolate tastes: lush, sweet, a jolt of energy with a smidge of guilt but unwilling to put it down.

Erik holds you close with his freehand.  “That’s good, ride it out and hold on to me.  I feel you tightening, you’re just about there, aren’t you?”

“Mhm!”  you dig your face into his chest, breathing erratically as your climax approaches.  It mattered that it was him doing it.  How you got so lucky was a question you weren’t willing to confront because it just felt so good, why even think.

“Let that pretty pussy sing, you got it.”  The release you feel wash over you makes you feel like world peace started and ended in your pussy and you screamed for joy.  You lean back on your elbows as he rests his hand still against your mound, your walls pulse in the afterglow.  

“That’s better, right?  Luckily I see you have a fully functioning muscle down there.”  He says before going to take off his gloves.

You shakily pull your gown down and begin to sit up.  “I hope so cuz if that is what sick feels like, I don’t wanna recover.”

He snickers at your comment, writing something down on some paper, tearing off a piece, folding it to give to you.

“Now, this is something in case arousal doesn’t always come to you easily.  That’s a prescription that can get the job done naturally and quickly.  Take that home with you and you can order it any time you feel it may be necessary.”

You nod, getting up to put it in your pocket.  “Thanks.  You know my friends recommended I come here and I can’t say I am upset.”

Erik holds his clipboard in front of him, holding out a hand to you.  “I’m glad you came.”

You shook it and as he left, you got dressed and drove home feeling lighter than air.  You started to call your friends about it but figured you might start at the pharmacy just to see what he prescribed.  If men can have a ‘get freaky’ pill, why not you.  You dug out the prescription from your pocket and your mouth dropped when you read it.

Erik 555-0123, use as recommended.

Part 2

Masterlist

Tag

@chaneajoyyy​

[changeling-rin]

“In a faraway land,” Gen says immediately, because he’s read books and that’s how the books go.

“Is a really inaccurate way to start a story, because really has anyone even looked at the grammatical structure of that phrase?” Vio complains.  “I mean, really.  Once upon a time.  Take away all the fairy-tale mystique and what does that even mean?”

“Nonono, you’re saying it wrong,” Lore corrects.  “It’s, ‘A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.’  Also the next sentence is, ‘BAAAAAH! BAH BAH BAH! BADADA DADADADADADADADADADADADADA DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUM!  DUM-DUM-DUM-’”

“Are we having another story time?” Red asks eagerly, and promptly sits down with wide and sparkling eyes to listen.

“I’m pretty sure that’s how the Hero of Time’s legend starts,” Wind comments.  “But, uh, I don’t remember exactly how it goes, because I kinda didn’t care enough whenever my Grandma told it to listen.  Which is sort of awkward now, considering.”

“No, nope, not listening,” Mask says.  “Every time I hear an old legend it somehow turns out to be true.  I am not dealing with another Majora, Din-dangit.”

First of all, I like and accept this headcanon about Lore.  Very good, a quality opinion.

Second of all...

“Gramps!” Lore enthuses, and immediately traps Gen in a hug.  Gen just looks mildly traumatized at the thought of whatever happens to his lineage to produce Lore.

[toopunktofuck]

You cant just drop a comment about a racist zelda dog and not elaborate. I cant websearch racist dog

so in Majora’s Mask, you start out cursed in the Deku scrub form by the Skull Kid and you’re stuck like that for the first half an hour of the game. You’re in Clock Town and can’t leave. In South Clock Town, for SOME FUCKING REASON, there is a terrier that will REPEATEDLY, RUTHLESSLY stalk and attack you, and it only does this when you are in deku scrub form. It has no other qualms about any other races in Zelda, this dog is just racist against deku scrubs specifically. it’s part of the game’s lore that everyone is racist against deku scrubs, but the goddamn dog???

you can see this in action about 60 seconds into this video (it's at double speed so setting the video to .5x is how it actually looks in-game); this was the highest quality example i could find, there are not many videos of this because for some reason everyone has just accepted that there is a racist dog in south clock town