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lena-in-a-red-dress · 2 years

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Beyond the Lights, Pt 3

Dating Lena isn't easy. If that's even what they're doing. Part of Kara feels like she's simply tagging along for the whirlwind life of Lena Luthor, flitting from interview to recording studio to modelling shoots. But just when Kara is about to call enough and leave, she catches Lena's eye, and the smile that answers that split moment of eye contact makes the stolen hours, minutes, moments between them worth it.

In those stolen moments, Lena finally begins to open up. About her life, her feelings. The fact she wants to write her own songs. The fact she never wanted to sing pop in the first place-- how her true love are the haunting melodies of her homeland, and that one day she wants to bring the lilting style to an eponymous album.

In exchange, Kara shares that while she does actively love her job, she's already wearing thin. The job is tough, and she sees too much for her faith in humanity to remain intact. She doesn't ever want to lose sight of the good in people, but she doesn't know what else she could ever do that could help people in the same way she does now.

It's tender, and somehow more intimate than any sex Kara's ever had. She feels like Lena can see inside her, and as they continue whatever it is they're doing, she slowly discovers that she can read Lena.

She can see how much the pressure of Lena's career weighs on her. She sees the way Lena's eyes flick to her mother when a photographer asks to see more and more skin, and how Lena's jaw tightens when Lillian always gives the greenlight, either ignorant or indifferent to her daughter's discomfort.

Kara sees how uncomfortable Lena is in a room full of people all clamoring for her attention-- or just clamoring for her, attention be damned. At times it seems like Lena is nothing but a doll to them, to be moved this way and that, and that is when Lena is the most frighteningly empty.

Their intimacy comes to a screeching halt, however, when Kara finds out that Lena is in a relationship with fellow recording artist and frequent collaborator Jack Spheer. Lena assures her that it's just for the label, that Jack is gay too, it means nothing... but Kara can't shake the hurt of having to find out from a tabloid first-- and that it means Lena isn't being as honest as she thought.

"So if the press thinks you and Spheer are dating," Kara says carefully, "what exactly do they think we're doing?"

"Does is matter?" Lena asks, sliding her hand over Kara's.

Kara pulls away. "Yes. It matters. I spent too much of my life hiding who I was and who I wanted. I'm not going to do that again."

"What do you expect me to do, Kara? The label is holding my album over my head-- if I don't give them the version of me they want, they'll scrap the whole thing!"

"Why does it even matter? It's not your music! You said you don't even like--"

"I have not worked as hard as I have, sacrificed as much as I have, to see it all go up in smoke."

Kara regards her solemnly. "Then I guess that's it."

"Wait, what?"

"I should go..."

Lena reaches for her, but Kara pulls away, already reaching for her keys and jacket. "Kara, wait, please--"

"Good bye, Lena."

She pretends not to hear the sob in Lena's chest as she pushes out the door and heads home.

#supercorp #beyond the lights au #angst #there's gonna be a lot of that in this au #the movie was especially angsty #but it had a good ending #just fyi here is where the ficlet will kind of diverge from the movie #the themes will be similar #but the events will be a little different #bc i didn't wanna make jack an asshole

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cenvast · 27 days

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Laios, Monsters, & Toshiro: On Racialized Desire and Identification with the Other

Arguably, the most significant part of Laios' character is the societal ostracization he faces because of his non-normative interests and behavior. For the majority of his life, Laios struggles socially, and other humans mistreat him. When he rescues Marcille from the Nightmares, his nightmare dredges up his inability to fit into school and the army. During his early dungeoneering days, he's lied to and exploited by his fellow party members.

One of his earliest and most formative negative experiences with people is his village's abuse of Falin as a magic user. He shares that after the villagers discovered that she can use magic, "adults who were just kind yesterday, all began to bully [her]." Instead of protecting Falin, his parent tell her to leave the village. The prejudice Falin faces and his parents' response to it upsets Laios to the point that he leaves home.

While Laios cares about his friends, the Demon points out that Laios understandably does not care for people in general. Laios doesn't disagree with the Demon's assessment and suspects that the Demon "can sense all [his] thoughts." The Demon goes on to say that Laios actually "despise[s] all humans." Laios denies this assessment, but given the Demon's uncanny ability to sniff out people's desires and Laios' ashamed expression, at least part of Laios likely agrees with the Demon. It's not a stretch to assume that he's held onto some hurt and resentment towards humans due to their mistreatment of him and Falin in their youth.

In response to how human society has othered him, Laios distances himself from humans and invests his time and energy into monsters and demi-humans instead. In the DunMeshi world, monsters and demi-humans are the ultimate societal Other. People fear them, exploit them, and even hunt and kill them. As someone who's similarly been mistreated by human society, Laios resonates deeply with monsters.

His desire to become a monster and/or beastman reflects his desire to reclaim agency over how society has ostracized him. If he chooses to become a monster, he gets to place value on what society has deemed despicable. He gets to choose why society hates him and be different on his own terms.

Both textually and thematically, Laios' identification with the Other bleeds into the erotic. More blatantly, he says that he'd have sex with orc women, and his succubus is a monstrous version of Marcille.

The entire story is also steeped in the theme of consumption as carnality. Laios and his party spend the entire manga eating monsters — a taboo physical act which they reap pleasure from; the underlying eroticism isn't difficult to see.

The story also presents consumption as a form of extreme identification. Eating a monster makes the monster part of you through digestion. The line between consuming the monster and becoming the monster — between erotic desire for the monster, demonstrated by eating their flesh, and identifying with the monster — is very blurred. Note that digesting a monster is an act of absorption; it destroys the original creature. Senshi states that consuming a monster erases "its individual identity," and major manga spoilers, but Laios defeats and pacifies the Demon by consuming its desire to eat. We'll come back to this concept later.

As previously mentioned, Laios is disinterested in most humans. The notable exception to this rule is Toshiro and by extension, the Eastern Archipelago. Laios doesn't seem to know much about the Archipelago before speaking to Toshiro, so he isn't drawn to Toshiro because he's an Easterner. Instead, he's drawn to his "odd appearance."

Just like Laios views monsters and demi-humans as a visible Other, Laios views Toshiro as another visible Other. On the Island, Toshiro stands out as a foreigner at first glance. While Laios as a white tallman doesn't appear visibly strange to other people, he's drawn again and again to people and creatures who are immediately visibly "odd." He sees them as understanding what it's like to be different and be mistreated for it, and since he relates to that experience, he wants to learn about them and be closer to them.

Essentially, Laios behaves towards Toshiro and his culture the same way he behaves towards monsters; he wants to know everything about Toshiro's foreign culture — the thing which makes him different. Unintentionally, Laios unintentionally reduces Toshiro to being Japanese; if he wasn't Japanese, Laios would never have approached him.

While Laios doesn't have bad intentions, as Toshiro himself acknowledges during their fight, his behavior towards Toshiro still has negative consequences. Laios' harmless interest in monsters translates to fetishization in the context of Japanese culture. He enacts multiple microaggressions against Toshiro and crossing his boundaries.

Laios goes beyond merely learning about Japanese culture. He takes parts of it for himself when he names his sword a Japanese name. Akin to his consumption of monsters, Laios attempts to participate in Toshiro's culture while failing to respect Toshiro himself. Just as eating monsters destroys them, Laios consuming Toshiro's culture while enacting racism against him causes real harm.

Many people have already written about Laios' microaggressions towards Toshiro, but a couple include Laios telling Toshiro that he looks "odd" and asking where he's from, mispronouncing his name as "Shuro," and assuming his favorite food is rice. Laios' treatment and fetishization of Toshiro is racist and harmful. However, I'd like to dive beyond the surface of Laios' micro-aggressive remarks and examine how his obsession with Toshiro becomes a racialized mode of desire, paralleling real world phenomena.

Though no concrete canonical evidence of Laios' feelings towards Toshiro being romantic and/or sexual exists, his interactions with Toshiro have erotic undertones. Their fight dialogue, in particular, revolves around eating, an act the story consistently shows as carnal. During this fight, Laios places his thumb in Toshiro's mouth and asks him, "What's the point of even having a mouth?" Laios' penetration of Toshiro's body via his mouth and his question's potential as an innuendo lend themselves to an erotic reading of the scene's more obvious conflict. Considering the overlap between consumption and carnality throughout the story, it's not a large jump to read eroticism into Laios demanding Toshiro meet his body's physical needs.

Furthermore, Laios is more enthusiastic about Toshiro than any other human in the series. While he cares deeply about his sister and his friends, Laios repeatedly expresses how much he admires Toshiro. He retains and brings up things like Toshiro's (perceived) favorite food. He wants to go to the East in Falin's place after she rejects Toshiro's marriage proposal, and in the "What-If" extra material, he's adamant about setting up a scenario where Toshiro travels with him through the Dungeon.

Undoubtedly, Laios is drawn to Toshiro. Since he sees non-white-ness and monstrosity as equivalent markers of societal othering, Toshiro's identity as a foreigner is what cultivates and maintains Laios' interest in him. Even if Laios learns to care for Toshiro as a person, his desire for Toshiro, platonically or otherwise, is still filtered heavily through race within the narrative.

Laios' relationship with his masculinity is also fraught. He broke off his engagement with a girl from his village and doesn't express normative interest in female tallmen. Seeing how the nightmare versions of his parents ask him when he's going to give them grandchildren, Laios experiences societal pressure to conform to a normative performance of masculinity through being attracted to and marrying a tallman woman and creating a family with her.

Laios frequently talks about how cool and admirable Toshiro is when he performs masculinity through combat, etc. He might find Toshiro's Asian masculinity more appealing and more accessible to him than the masculinity that's been forced onto him, precisely because Toshiro's Asian masculinity appears non-normative in a Western lens. But co-opting the masculinities of men of color as a white man would only further feed into the white consumption of cultures of color.

Overall, Laios' entitlement to and consumption of Toshiro's culture mirrors the real-life way white people co-opt and fetishize non-white cultures. Laios' fetishistic treatment of Japanese culture, because of his attraction (platonic or otherwise) to Toshiro, parallels white people's treatment of Asian people in the Western diaspora. I can only speak on the Asian American experience, but Laios immediately being drawn to Toshiro's "odd appearance," obsessing over his culture, and primarily treating Toshiro as a conduit for his said culture feels eerily close to how some white anime and/or K-pop fans act towards Japanese and Korean people.

Similarly to Laios, real queer, neurodivergent, and/or otherwise non-normative white people are marginalized by white Western society. They relate to how society others non-white cultures and/or people of color and latch onto them. While forming human connections based on curiosity and shared experiences is wonderful, white people are often unaware of the racial dynamics at play when they engage with non-white cultures and people of color and unintentionally, end up consuming and fetishizing non-white cultures in detrimental ways.

None of this negates the reality that Laios and Toshiro canonically care for each other. For instance, Toshiro's willingness to hug Laios reveals his genuine familiarity with and affection for him. The racial dynamics of their friendship complicate their relationship in fascinating ways and open up a potential path for Laios' growth. With time and effort, Laios could absolutely unlearn his racism and become a much better friend to Toshiro.

In conclusion, Laios' behavior towards Toshiro is a study in a marginalized white person's identification with and racialized desire for a non-white Other and how even a well-intentioned attempt at connection can replicate harmful racist dynamics. Toshiro's experience with Laios closely parallels real Asian people's struggles with racism and fetishization in our world today.

#laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #shuro #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi meta #dunmeshi analysis #i didn't want this to be superrr long but laios' treatment of the orcs is similar to his treatment of toshiro #he takes their cultural practices out of context and appropriates them (i.e. him wearing spoils of war when he declares himself king)#frankly him wanting to be an orc/wanting to sleep w orc women/appropriating their culture #and blurring the lines between identification/desire/consumption is even more clear than w toshiro #ryoko kui has a lot of interesting racial commentary in her work #but also she kinda flops on her depictions of black and brown ppl #anyw all very interesting to examine #i love u themes of consumption and desire and identity and borderline cannibalism #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #*mine #*meta

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