#the thing is that i have a deep personal connection/history to butterflies but i just think moths look cool

[mrcavill88]

Inner demons

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Male Reader

Summary: There’s something so dark and attractive about a man who could kill you in a heartbeat. Even though Bucky’s twisted mind is healed, remnants of the winter soldier are still there. You and him have been through hell and back together, but his recents outbursts of anger are really starting to fumble your relationship

Word count: 2.9k+

Warnings: 18+, age gap (reader is 18, Bucky is 102 XD) abusive Bucky, alcohol addiction, face slapping, yelling, begging, bondage, whipping, daddy kink, skin sucking/kissing/licking, nipple play, genital licking, fingering, crying, vibrator usage, unprotected sex, breeding, fluff

A/N: Hey everyone! I’m back with another fic: my very first Bucky fic. This is one is definitely, interesting, to say the least. Thank you all again for all the support you have shown me, hope you enjoy;)

Bucky Barnes

The man of the hour, the one true love of your life, someone who made you feel stable - did I mention an ex-assassin with over two dozen credited murders?

You never were 100% sure about being safe around him. Sure, he was... insanely attractive. His soft and short brown hair, the dark blue sapphires he had for eyes, pearly white teeth, chiseled and muscular body, and his deep voice; his mere presence was enough for butterflies to flutter around your tummy. But Bucky's dark history was always a thinking point for you.

"What if he goes crazy and tries to kill me?"

"What if he goes on another rampage and starts murdering everyone?"

"What if he doesn't love me?"

Your intrusive thoughts never got the best of you, but a single thought of Bucky's past made you quiver in fear.

But your relationship with him wasn't exactly, perfect. He might be free of his control from Hydra, but, he isn't exactly free from his new demons

Alcohol

His loneliness after Steve's death was apparent as he turned to heavy drinking to aid his sorrows. That's when you came in, you were initially there to help Bucky through his journey of rehab, were you successful? Fuck. no.

Every time you encountered him, instead of discussing his progress, you and he did the most lewd things together. He was completely taken aback by your beautiful and slim figure, he didn't need rehab, he needed you.

As of now, you lived with Bucky. You were both pretty set on spending your lives together, and you were both happy. Currently, he was out with Sam, you knew that Sam was the only other person Bucky was close with, he trusted him, and so did you. You laid in bed, waiting for Bucky to come home, hoping you guys could have some dinner together, maybe have some fun.

You heard a car pull into the driveway; you ran to the door, waiting to greet the love of your life. The door burst open, and there he was, running towards you.

"Y/N! I missed you so much baby, give me a kiss!" he said, hugging you, connecting his lips onto yours. The things you felt when you were in an intimate setting with him, they were surreal. You really loved him, but something wasn't right, you could tell something was off.

And then it hit you

The strong and unpleasant scent of alcohol. You pushed the man off of you, an acerbic look painted on your face as you looked him dead in the eye.

"Baby? W-why are you l-looking at me like that? W-what's wrong?"

You could tell that he was a little tipsy, if the smell wasn't enough, the slurring of his words definitely was. "Bucky, please be honest with me. Were you drinking?" you asked, squeezing his hands.

"Y/N! You know I'm sober! How could y-you doubt me?" his hands cupping your cheeks, his face getting redder and redder. "Baby, please believe me! I know I have a bad history with drinking but, please, I'm being honest."

"James! Don't lie to me! I love you too much for you to lie to me like this! How could you! I thought you were a new man!" you yelled, slapping his face. "Ok. You caught me, I'm so sorry Y/N. Sam just said it was one beer, but it ended up being several. Please forgive me! I promise, this won't happen again! Please, Y/N?" he pleaded, holding your waist.

The single tear that formulated on your cheek dried as you contemplated what you were going to do with Bucky. Was he really going to stop? Or was this another white lie that he told? You decided to give it one last chance, hoping the decision was right.

"Fine. I'm putting my trust in you Buck, please, just think about what this could do to you! It's going to kill you! Please just promise me that you'll stop, ok?" holding your pinky out. "I promise, baby. Thank you so much for believing in me" he said, latching his pinky onto yours, giving you a small kiss on the cheek. "Now, let's enjoy ourselves! The night is still young Y/N! I brought some takeout from that Mediterranean restaurant across town, I know you it's your favorite" he said, bringing you over to the polished dining table, adorned with the most appetizing food you've ever seen.

But one little nuisance on the table was there, a needle in a haystack, if you will. A tall bottle of whiskey. "Bucky, are you serious?"

"Baby. I know I promised I'd stop, but please! Just this once, I swear, this is the last one. C'mon, I know you like this brand. Don't try to deny it"

You hesitantly sat down, opening the bottle of whiskey. You knew Bucky would have some trick of his sleeve, so what did he do? He fished in one last drink, and it just so happened to be your favorite kind.

You two enjoyed your supper. You guys' just had a special bond, every time you were in each other's presence, you just felt, complete. Any thought of Bucky's past actions were completely eradicated as the expensive whiskey started hindering your brain.

Next thing you know, it was already 9 pm. Bucky was completely OUT, his pants undone and his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he tried to stand up.

"Y-Y-Y/N, w-we haven't h-had some f-fun in a w-while. L-lets m-make the most of o-our night," he slurred out, bringing you to the couch as he gripped your right thigh. "G-get off o-of me, I k-knew you c-couldn't k-keep from d-drinking" you said, barely being able to connect your words together.

The cold air thickened as tension started to build between you two, both completely drunk. "H-how dare y-you speak to m-me like that! You l-little brat!" he yelled, slapping your face hard. The tension in the room completely skyrocketed as the man you loved, the man you trusted, struck your face.

"B-Bucky? W-what's gotten into you?" you sniffled, holding your face. "W-w-what's gotten into me? What a-a-about you! You spoiled l-l-little ingrate! You n-need to be taught a lesson! You need thicker s-skin, Y/N" he slurred out, dragging you to the basement.

The countless kicks and screams you let out were completely useless as the 6 foot man effortlessly powered through your resistance. He slammed you onto a stool and tied your arms above your head, leaving you helpless.

"T-that's better baby! You s-see, I'm much older than you. I had it w-way harder than you when I was your age! I'm only doing this because I love you, trust me, Y/N" he said, pulling out a long, matte black whip.

The sound of screams, cries, and begs filled the room as the absolute terror you felt completely consumed your body.

"P-please Bucky! I'm begging you! Please don't hurt me! I love you! Don't you love me?"

"Oh Y/N, you're so adorable, I-I'm doing this for your own good, I'm sorry little one"

The final words he said before he maliciously whipped your torso, the loud crack breaking the seemingly forever silence that formulated between the two of you.

The screams coming out of your mouth intensified as the everlasting sting coursed through your veins, tears falling from your eyes as the man you trusted, just whipped you.

"Oh baby! That's what I like to hear! But, I think we could have more fun! Don't ya think?" he said before he grabbed a pair of red scissors and started cutting up your clothes.

You winced as your body was slowly being exposed in front of the man, as if it hadn't happened before. But this was a new side of Bucky you've never seen before, much more, possessive

He rubbed your baby soft skin, the sight of your delicate and skinny posture truly astonished him. The only thing you had on was a tight little spandex, your cock hard from Bucky's presence alone.

"Y-you're mine now, understand?" he said, practically inches away from your face. You jerked a nod before the whip cracked against your body again, a gush of blood spewing from your body. You screamed mercilessly as the immense pain you felt was practically permanent.

"Bucky! Please stop! I-I can't take it anymore!" you begged, a raspy breath leaving your mouth as you felt the air suddenly get hot.

Turns out, it wasn't the temperature, it was Bucky

He took his jacket off, revealing his rippling muscles and toned body, laced by his tight black tank top.

"Oh baby, I almost forgot. Don't ever call me Bucky, again. I'm your daddy now, your master, are we clear?" grabbing your face tightly.

"Y-yes, daddy" you whimpered out, absolutely terrified yet turned on by Bucky's sudden dominance.

"Good boy! Oh Y/N. I'm so p-proud of you. You see? It's not so hard to behave, right? Now, here's your reward for being so good"

Mere milliseconds after his words, his lips latched onto your neck. Sucking the absolute life out of it; moans and whines escaped your mouth, your libido level skyrocketing as the sound of skin against skin filled the room.

"Oh baby! I love tasting you! You're gonna feel so good when you're with daddy tonight, just wait and see"

His mouth continued attacking your neck, his lips traveling down your body onto your shoulders, biting and sucking on your skin, marking what was his. The angelic moans that left your mouth were like music to his ears, something that caused him to go even harder than he intended on.

His fingers caressed your nipples, goosebumps forming around them as Bucky relentlessly stimulated them.

"Daddy! Ugh! That f-feels so g-good!" you moaned as Bucky continued pinching and rubbing your nipples.

With no hesitation, he latched his lips onto your nipple, sucking on it with much determination and lust. The pleasure you felt was unreal; the tingles reaching the tips of your toes, making your cock twitch and harden as he continued sucking your nipples.

When he let out, your nipples were puffy and decorated with saliva, your breaths heavy and constant from all the pleasure you were feeling.

"Oh my sweet baby, Y/N. I love seeing you all horny and vulnerable like this. You make me want to do horrific things to you. But the night is young, I'm not finished with you" he said, viciously licking your neck.

His head was now face to face with your hole, your butt perfectly propped up so he was practically in breathing range of it. He kissed your inner thigh, prepping you for what was about to come next. The moans that left your mouth fueling the lewd activities he was about to commit.

His tongue started flailing in and out of your hole, swirling at a rapid pace. Your toes started to curl as you quickly became a sex doll for Bucky. "Daddy! Oh Fuck! Daddy I-I'm gonna c-cum!" you whined as he continued licking and playing at your sensitive hole.

"Baby! C'mon now, don't disappoint daddy like that! I know you're stronger than that, come on now, let me make you feel good"

You whimpered in response as your hole became drenched in Bucky's saliva, acting as a lubricant as he slowly inserted his thick fingers into your hole.

You screamed at the immense discomfort you felt, you've never been this intimate with Bucky ever in your life. "Does that feel good baby? You like when daddy shoves his fingers in your tiny little hole?"

All this dirty talk was making you queasy, your head practically spinning in circles as Bucky continued using your hole as a domain for his sexual pleasures. "I-I-I'm g-gonna cum!" you yelled at the top of your lungs, cock ready to burst at any moment.

"Oh no you don't" he whispered, gripping your tiny little pre-cum covered cock tightly.

"I know you're a good boy baby. Show daddy how good of a boy you can be! C'mon baby I know you can be a good boy. My good boy"

You snapped

Your cock jerked uncontrollably, drooling with ropes of white, thick cum. Your face turned red as you met Bucky's slightly disappointed face.

"Baby, I really hoped you could pull through for daddy. But it's ok! Daddy has a few tricks left for you"

"No daddy please! I can't take it anymore! I'm gonna... explode!" you pleaded, struggling to break out of your bonds.

"That's not how it works. I am your master, your daddy, you are my boy. You listen to me, absolutely no questions asked baby. Now, daddy has a new little toy here that he would love to try on you" he cackled, pulling out a pink vibrator.

Tears stained your cheeks as you knew what was about to come, you knew that you had no other choice but to comply, so why not enjoy it?

He attached the vibrator on your cute little cock and turned it on. You screamed as the vibrator tickled and pushed against your prostate, cum leaking from the tip of your cock.

"Daddy! Please take this o-off! I-I'm s-so horny!!!" you moaned as your bottom half twitched and shook from the absolute pleasure you felt.

Bucky noticed the state of mind you were in, somewhat amused by how fragile you were. And with the little bits of remorse still in him, he yanked the vibrator off your body, your cock worn out and drenched in pre-cum. You were a moaning, panting mess, cum disseminated over the floor.

"Oh baby~ You turn me on so much you don't even know. Such a sweet boy like you acting like this, this'll just be our little secret. Now, daddy has one last present for you, I promise, it's worth it" he said, slyly, before unzipping his pants. The big dick print in his boxers was making you so hard, oh you were so in love with him.

And then, oh!

A large piece of man meat sprang from his underwear as he pulled it down. The sheer size of it amazed you as he walked toward you.

"I want this to be a night for the books baby, let's make this special"

"Fuck me daddy!" you moaned before he slammed his monstrous dick into your tight hole. His thrusts: strong and firm.

"Oh fuck baby! I love how your little hole hugs my cock! You belong to me! No one else!" he yelled, a mixture of moans and whines filling the room as you both became infatuated with pleasure.

He starts to develop a fast and consistent rhythm with his thrusts, your moans getting louder and more high-pitched, making him even more turned on.

"Oh yeah! You love when daddy's big cock fucks your hole don't you! You naughty boy! You bussy is so greedy for daddy's cock isn't it" he growled, getting a broken and long moan in response.

Your body temperature started to climb higher and higher as the man you loved dearly continued fucking the daylight out of you. What you didn't realize? The fact that the ropes that put you in this very position broke in the midst of all the sexual pleasure you were feeling.

You didn't know how much longer you could handle this. Your bussy was practically broken after enduring all of Bucky's abuse, but the pleasure you felt continued to escalate by the second.

That's when, it happened again

Bucky's cock penetrated the most sacred and sensitive part of your entire body, your cock exploding with cum as your body twitched and quivered at the pleasure that basically consumed your entire body at this point.

"That's my boy! Oh y-you're daddy is close you're doing so well. Fuck!" he groaned as you could feel his thrusts growing sloppier.

You took notice of this and decided to give Bucky a taste of his own medicine: you pinched and twisted your nipples, causing your hole to tighten around Bucky's cock, making the man grow weak as his cock was being stimulated like no other before him.

"Oh shit! You naughty little bitch! Oh baby! I-I'm g-gonna cum!" he slurred out before unleashing his load inside your hole, strings of his white sticky cum polishing your insides an ivory color. You collapsed from the chair, your legs were practically immobile after all the pleasure and abuse you endured tonight.

Bucky crawled toward your destroyed figure, hugging you tightly and nuzzling your nose against his.

He carried you, bridal style, up from the basement into the bedroom you shared together.

"Now baby, let's get washed up, alright? We need to be perfectly clean before we sleep" he uttered, walking you over to the shower.

Despite the immense sexual activities that occurred that night, the shower you two had was one that was completely ingenuous.

You two shared a few loving, intimate moments, but nothing that was extreme. You were glad to have Bucky back. The old Bucky back. Sure, you loved the sex god that just fucked the shit out of you a couple minutes ago, but the little moments you have with him: you cherished forever.

You both got dried up and cuddled up on the bed together. "I'm so proud of you baby, we pulled off wonders tonight. I love you, Y/N" he said, kissing your forehead.

"I love you too, daddy" nuzzling your head against his chest.

You went to sleep madly in love with the man, and James Buchanan Barnes definitely loves you too~

[animehouse-moe]

Women In Anime

I came across this tweet a few days back, and did give it a response on Twitter back then, but I keep thinking about it, so I wanted to bring a longer discussion here.

I think hating that anime ends up a male dominated industry is totally fair, I think that hating that men end up bringing a lot of negative stereotypes and tropes and whatnot is valid.

There's a mountain of problems with men in the industry, and just the industry in general. But there's also a problem with the awareness of the NA community. Scrolling about the quote tweets and replies, it's probably one in ten responses at best, that show an opening that's actually from a woman.

Hate like this ends up performative, and targeted at the most negative aspects, rather than being used as a tool to shine a light on the people that deserve it. Directionless and generalized points like this do nothing, and in the end can actually take away from uplifting the voices and talents that they should be.

So, I wanted to bring a list of ten women in anime that have worked on openings over the years.

Karneval OP - Satou Akira

Openings that really cut deep into the core of a series can be a little hard to come by sometimes. I think a lot of openings get suckered into "looking cool" and tend to neglect their creative ability to depict something deeper within. Satou Akira falls into no such trap with Karneval, providing an incredibly strong opening that consistently relays several themes to the viewers through its visuals of things like, well, carnivals, for one. Also included is clock faces, butterflies, gears, and a few other pieces. It's really great work, so it's a shame that they haven't returned to the role since then.

They have, however, been in some pretty impressive roles elsewhere. For example, their biggest role was boarding for the second Fate/Grand Order Camelot movie. Important to note that it's the second movie, and not the first, as the second movie is considerably better.

Akira is still only reaching the tip of the iceberg though, as they recently were the lead director on Ao Ashi, and are being tapped for the Kinnukuman anime in 2024. They certainly have a good relationship with Production I.G, so I'm really hopeful to continue to see them on future projects with the studio.

Skip and Loafer OP - Deai Kotomi

Yeah, it hurts my soul to have different embeds, but I've had to source some of these OPs as they don't exist on YouTube.

Anyways, Deai Kotomi definitely had her limelight moment this year with Skip and Loafer and it's very fun and energetic opening. It's a great reflection of the characters and story, which really highlights Kotomi's understanding and ability to work with the content of the series. She did an absolutely wonderful job leading the production of Skip and Loafer, but I think a lot of people don't know about her history and connection. I mean, the reason she's following up Akira and Karneval is because Kotomi actually did the ending for Karneval! Really cool little piece to learn.

Make no mistake though, this isn't Kotomi's first rodeo, it's just the one she's most known for. But man, does she have a good history. Starting off with assistant direction credits for Kids on the Slope and the first season of Silver Spoon, she then moves on to helm the follow up season of Silver Spoon, and take over for Natsume's Book of Friends.

Though with the new season of Natsume's Book of Friends I'm a little sad to see Kotomi relieved of the role as the Chief Director for the series, Hideki Itou, steps into the role. Still have high hopes, but was looking forward to more Kotomi. Just means I need to wait and see where she ends up next, and I highly doubt it'll take too long for her to appear once more.

Sk8 The Infinity OP - Hiroko Utsumi

Speaking of people that I can't wait to see more of Hiroko Utsumi. I'm sure everyone that's seen it is a fan of Sk8 The Infinity and its opening, and there's not really a better person to handle the opening that Utsumi herself. After all, she's the original creator for the series.

But let's rewind a little before I get ahead of myself. Utsumi has probably one of the most prestigious careers on this list. Utsumi originally started with KyoAni, working her way up from second key animation to first key animation, to episode direction and storyboarding, finally making their directorial debut with Free! back in 2013, quickly following it up with the sequel.

Interestingly enough though, Utsumi then goes silent for 2 years before re-appearing outside of KyoAni, doing some storyboarding work with Bones and Mappa, leading into the next crazy piece of her story: the lead director of Banana Fish. Then of course it's to Sk8 The Infinity, and now she has Bucchigiri?! on the horizon, as well as a continuation of Sk8 The Infinity.

Talk about a career with no misses. Even better is that with her new works, we'll almost certainly be getting more of her expert openings, as with every series she's directed, she's also done the openings. So really, lots and lots to look forward to with Utsumi.

Arakawa Under The Bridge OP - Yamamoto Sayo

I know, not the opening that most would pick, but I wanted to be ✨Different✨. Everybody surely knows Yamamoto Sayo from Yuuri!! on Ice, but I just wanted to show off a bit more of a her range with an opening like this one. Clearly, she's a very talented woman, and the industry recognizes that with her work as she's done quite a few openings, especially with Mappa as of late.

These are all of her openings (and some endings), in order of appearance: Rozen Maiden Traumend, Michiko and Hacchin, Arakawa Under The Bridge S1 & S2, Hanamaru Kindergarten (ED), Attack on Titan S1 (ED), Space Dandy S1 (ED), Yuri On Ice, Kakegurui, and Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul.

Quite the list, to be sure. I just wish they did more direction work, as they've been stuck at Mappa for the Yuuri!! on Ice movie. Hopefully that'll come out some day and Sayo will be free of that hell, but all we can do is sit and wait.

Kaguya-Sama: Love is War - Ultra Romantic OP - Eiko Hirayama

I mean, it's Kaguya-Sama, do I really need to say more? Great effort, and great direction from Hirayama here to really cap off the best season of the series. But did you know that she also did the work for the first opening of Love is War?

Hirayama is probably the most curious staff member on this list though. They do have a good few credits for various openings, but by and large they're all special or visual effects credits. For example, they most recently did the visual effects in the opening for the Nier anime, and they also did the same for 2 of the Vivy openings.

I think it's really interesting to see someone like Hirayama step out of their comfort zone to do something like an opening, because you can absolutely feel their experience shape the opening.

Here, let me add a little breakdown of the opening for Kaguya S3. If you pay close attention to the opening, you'll realize that there's not a crazy amount of animation. Rather, there's a lot of camera and 3 dimensional movement, and a lot of interesting composition. I mean, just look at the sequence of Kaguya running, it's a compositor's dream as they shift through all sorts of different visuals and styles.

And I just think that's really cool. Sure, Hirayama isn't a thoroughbred director like the others on this list, but I think their storied experience with composition gives them an angle in this opening that a lot of others just wouldn't find.

Heike Monogatari OP - Naoko Yamada

Naoko, alongside her work with Heike Monogatari, will always have a special place in my heart. Much like Utsumi, Naoko started her career with KyoAni. However, she was a part of the studio for longer, and because of that, was present during the arson attack on the studio in 2019.

This opening, and really the entirety of this story, hits really close to home with its ideas of the loss of family and suffering through a cycle of violence, and she does a beautiful job of juxtaposing that idea against the pieces that Biwa fondly remembers of those around her. It's very, very strong work from Naoko that feels almost like a rebirth as her first major work following the arson attack.

Regardless of what she went through at the end, her time with KyoAni was incredibly impressive. I'm not sure how many will know her name from it, but she was the director behind the incredible success of K-On!. Similarly, she also worked on Tamako Market and the follow up movie. She's an incredibly talented woman, and has continually put her best foot forward with everything she's done, so I'm really hopeful to see her continue that hot streak with wherever she goes next.

Naruto Shippuden OP20 - Chiaki Kon

Had to bring a bit more of a classic pick out, no? Chiaki Kon is certainly not a staff member that tends to really be seen as someone popular, if that makes sense. They're rather light in terms of individual expression, so having a stronger opening like this that hones in on individual character arcs while relating them to larger interactions within the world is really great to see.

Though that's not to say that Chiaki tends to get lost as a staff member, but that I think her work is very subtle. For example, she directed the recent (and popular) Sacrificial Princess anime, which is one of J.C Staff's top 3 anime in the last 5 years. It undoubtedly has Chiaki to thank for a lot of that, where she's kept a reasonable distance on the project while still providing a lot of her overarching vision to it.

But man, has she been active lately. While she does do lead direction, she's insanely present as an episode director and storyboarder, getting anywere from 6 to even 12 or more episodes boarded and/or directed in a year. Odds are if you watch any amount of anime, you've seen an episode done by Chiaki Kon.

Given OP - Hikaru Yamaguchi

Maybe a bit of an odd choice, but I feel like that makes it all the better to give them some spotlight. Not everyone is going to be a "knock it out of the park anime rockstar", and that's perfectly fine. Though I might still argue that Yamaguchi fits that bill. It's just that they're not as productive as others on this list.

After all, they did the OP for Given and directed the series (as well as the movie), and it's a very good show. It's interesting though how long it took her to get another lead direction role. There was 3 years between the Given movie, and the Osomatusu-San movie that she directed in 2023. And you might be thinking, "well hey, what about smaller roles to fill the gap?". Nope, not really any of that.

There was a 2 year gap between the Given movie and her next staff position. Though I mean, it's a pretty damn cool one. She did the storyboard for episode 3 of Bleach: Thousand Year Blood War. For those that don't know, that's the episode of Ichigo vs Quilge Opie (which was very cool, by the way).

Yamaguchi is certainly an interesting staff member in that regard, as she doesn't have many projects she's worked on, but they've almost all been very big name ones. Certainly has me curious to see what she'll manage to appear on next.

Dance Dance Danseur OP - Sarisa Kawamura

If you thought Kawaguchi was an odd pick, wait until you hear about Kawamura. This is the second ever credit for her that I've been able to track down. The other comes from VFX assistant role on the Undead Girl Murder farce ending. So you can imagine my surprise considering the insane quality and creativity displayed with this opening that she boarded for.

I mean, when I first watched it when the anime aired, I was stunned. Absolutely incredible work with the first person perspective and the ideas with all the reflections and the wild expressiveness of the characters. Seriously, this was a shoe-in for opening of the year back in 2022, and I'd still say one of the standouts in this decade for sure.

I just, really, really hope that we'll see Kawamura board something else soon, because I absolutely need more of her incredible vision.

And that's the end of the 10 women, that I chose to use for this list. Seriously, there's a mountain of them that have done all sorts of other openings, or endings, and an unimaginable amount that have done creative work outside of those things.

I wouldn't say I'm disappointed that nobody talks about anime staff (in general, really, but also more specifically women), but a lot of people just don't have the interest in looking this stuff up. I really, really wish that streaming services would start translating credits to make it easier for people to get a grasp of who it is that's working on their favorite series, but we can't always rely on companies to do things like that.

Thankfully, the community out there is really, really dedicated so you can find staff credits on websites like MAL, Anilist, Anidb, and even Anime News Network. Sure, it takes a little bit of time to go and find those credits, but I think it's really valuable time that's well spent. You're bringing more awareness and understanding into the hobby and community, and that can change the trajectory of it in really wonderful ways.

Highlighting the works of women in anime is just one way of doing that. It inspires people in the community, it makes people aware of the idea of who is making their favorite works, that women are a central and pivotal part of the industry.

I really hope that people found out something cool with this list, and I really do encourage everyone to do a bit of digging into their favorite series to find out the names behind them. I mean, we all know who directs a movie or TV series over here, and we certainly know all about the actors and whatnot, so I'd love to see people bring that same understanding to anime.

[silly-bean]

5 songs you're obsessed with...

(Just 5?? How the hell am I just gonna pick 5 😭)

thanks for the tag @withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick!

Greatest Show on Earth (Nightwish) - yes it's 21 minutes, yes they keep you engaged the entire time, and i am obsessed w/ every minute. This one is the recording from their Wembley 2015 concert which is my personal favorite version. It covers the history of life on planet earth from the beginning to now in one song and it's fucking amazing so listen to it right fucking now (especially go find the youtube version because then you can watch the band have the time of their lives on stage)

Where Butterflies Never Die (Broken Iris) - psychadelic is how I describe this song but I can't find another word I like better. I discovered this song shortly before I got super into Trigun and holy fucking shit the amount I freaked out when I made the connection about the butterfly shit. Anyways highly recommend

Can You Hear It? (Aviators) - Off the Dreams of the Deep album, it's a fantastic song that digs into that good good eldritch horror stuff similar to the stuff we get in Bloodborne (which, there is at least one bb inspired song on this album so go listen to the entire thing if that sounds cool). Alt-rock with orchestral stuff thrown in I am in love from those first instrumental bars

The Seas (Envoi) - There's something about Envoi's sound and style that is just big nostolgia for me. It's sorta pop punk/rock but not quite and i just love it so much. This one gives me major season 2 opening for an anime vibes i don't know how else to explain it 😅 I recommend all their other stuff too it's great ("Ghost" to this day gives me such Tifa vibes its incredible).

Crash Poet (Cold Kingdom) - for me this is the song for Genesis. Blatant poetry/stage performance analogies?? Begging for the chance to step up and show how much you have to offer to the world? Yeah, it's Genesis alright.

as for tagging, how about @ibyte13, @nexomify, @darktiger57, @raeofgayshine and anyone else who wants to!

[dijaja]

What are your characters like, if you don't mind me asking?

So glad you asked! Ofc I don't mind, I love talking to ppl, hehe, lemme just slap their designs here again

Collin, who is the blue haired guy, is generally more introverted and moreso focused on his own comforts. He's very cautious, sometimes irrationally so, and unwilling to take any steps into whatever he perceives to be even slightly dangerous. Despite that- He prefers to be outside, and hates being cooped up indoors. He likes familiar things- kinda tying into the cautiousness that I mentioned earlier. Like he'd be willing to go out on some stroll over some hills, but not a dense forest.

He likes having deep and meaningful conversations with people, and often stumbles in his words when it comes to small talk, or when it's a topic he's not too interested in. He prefers to connect emotionally with whoever he's talking to, to get to know them better. It's hard for him to make friends- because he's a pretty harsh judge on people. He either likes them, or hates them. First impressions mean a lot to him.

Ana (red hair gal) however, loves the simple things. She likes expiramenting, and adventuring. But if she had a choice she'd definitely prefer to stick to one spot and do everything there than move around. Kinda ironic for someone who's main power is /wind/.

Curiosity often gets the best of her, and she won't shy away to problem solve or make up long winded stories about the smallest things. That being said, if she's not accompanied by someone in these things, she'll feel less obligated and motivated to actually go out and do some exploring. She finds solo-activities boring, and tends to force people to come along with her everywhere.

Unlike Collin, Ana can make the most out of a conversation no matter what it is. She's a social butterfly, and is willing to listen to things that may not even be her thing(but she won't be as willing to pick up that certain interest)

Very boredom prone, since most of her entertainment comes from being around people.

In a way I like to see it that because Collin is meant to be (vaguely) the personification of "bad luck" his cautiousness is from history of just, things not being on his side. Wanting to get to know people more personally is because he's been involved with bad people, and that leads to trust issues. So he just has some walls up

While Ana is seen as a bit more care-free when it comes to thinking things over twice because to her, things like that haven't happened. And even if they did, she hasn't gotten hurt from it, either because it wasn't as impactful, or she just knows how to handle herself

[welcometoteyvat]

rant ahead lmao

i believe your gripes are completely valid because i have the same gripes. it feels like their storytelling (for the entire game) is all over the place. the high cloud quintet is literally something i’ve never chanced upon in the game. i only know it via fandom. this is similar to how that pyro butterfly lady is the crimson witch. only those who dig deep enough into the game will find out about it, and just like genshin, such “information” spreads quickly in the community.

HOWEVER, what genshin does better than star rail is that its main story DOES NOT rely on these snippets to tell its story. do i need to know she was the crimson witch when what happened to her happened? no. not at all. she was there for X purpose in the main storyline and therefore she did what she had to do and left. her being crimson witch was to add depth to her character which the main story had no space to do so.

stair rail, on the other hand, EXPECTS you to find out all these little tidbits, which to me is too time consuming and annoying. why split the story into its separate segments if i need to know them in order to understand the main story?? that’s just poor storytelling imho.

i think you’ll like this video. i agree with it. i get that the funeral for fox character was supposed to be emotional, but this video is right that we know NOTHING about this character. from my own personal experience, the funeral was so boring and honestly irritating because i. don’t. care. in fact, i didn’t even know she was with us throughout the quest so when she had her background voicelines i was always so confused????

i feel the hype around the characters is because the designs of each character have given people a desire to seek more about said characters, and there is abundance information. but this shouldn’t be something to expect of the players.

give me a reason to care that’s not just aesthetics, please.

video will be sent in next ask.

video: https://youtu.be/vaPL0UZK_HQ?si=puvssJPBLc2H57vk

ok thank you for validating me LMAO i was constantly wondering "where is the ancient dead people lore" (hcq) during the entire quest chain, which unfortunately contained very little of what fandom promised me (character depth). apparently i've not be reading enough books and pamphlets you can collect since the lore is concentrated there and in limited character's character stories

tbh I think the reveal that La Signora was the Crimson Witch was also really bad lol, for the same reason that the video argues DH IL's transformation is unimpactful. like "omg wow alternate identity revealed!" but it doesn't really have any impact on the conflict of the story we're currently looking at. they could've just switched it, or not even given her a transformation, instead just showing an extended duel with us and making it visible that she was tired and out of power before she dies, and I don't really know if anything would've changed. same with dan heng IL, I'd probably get more out of it if I read the hcq book from that one opera performer, but ehh there wasn't enough visibly shown leadup, like you said.

I guess the difference between genshin world lore (things in artifacts, weapons, books, world quests etc) and star rail lore is that genshin's is either about the past or future, but not necessarily about the present characters? thinking about the pale flame lore, which gave everyone the fatui crumbs before scara and la signora's stories were introducted in the main storyline, the enkanomiya quests about the vishaps and ancient history of teyvat, and the narzissenkreuz quests that also connect to that + khaenriah + a host of other world lore things. I guess it's nice that reading through all the materials isn't "mandatory" because it's either about the ancient past, dead npcs (so many of the artifact sets) or foreshadowing for important elements in the future that will still get introduced in the main story. I will be biased and agree w you, star rail's lore crumbs are rather :\ storytelling. like I would be fine if the hidden nuggets of lore were about >npcs >lore that happened but is not directly relevant to a character's main arc >foreshadowing for future events/story. but instead it's more like mandatory background reading that is crucial to understand a character's stories, instead of enriching your knowledge of them? anyways yeah

now abt tingyun. I agree that the funeral was really ???????????? i agree w you and the video lol. playing it, I was mostly in disbelief that we're assuming tingyun is legitimately dead even though she's still playable (no dead playables in genshin moment). I also think the thing with the 3 npcs we had to talk to was bullshit because. like the video said, we could've spent time with tingyun (maybe visiting the npcs we collected things from) BEFORE she died and maybe it would have given us more emotional impact. the way they retroactively show how kind and generous she was really put me off, we could've seen this all in person instead of hearing it from other people...... bruh also the way everyone got together in that cutscene when i dont think any of them were really shown to have a deep connection w her is so ..... >_> the emotional impact did not hit whatsoever

but I'm gonna level with you I think they made her role as our guide pretty clear and the implication that she was traveling with us was also pretty clear. no shade though

about the rest of the video: oh he put things into words that I could not articulate JSDKLFJDSKL. not really any thoughts but i agree that a lot of the characters (qingque, xueyi especially) could have just been cut T_T i like both of their designs and personalities based on other material in game but their main quest participation was Not It rip. also agree about the characters being vehicles for exposition and not having their personalities shine through. I'd argue maybe you can tell somewhat of what they're like (jing yuan, fu xuan, yanqing to some extent) but man there's just too much lore explaining for them to really show what they do on a normal schedule it's so .......... also because fanart and fanfic makes them seem so fun im standing here looking at the main plot like >_> <_< what was that. i'm sure it gets better inside their own companion quests, which I haven't done, but that shouldn't be the only place the character gets to really shine lmao

I agree that their design makes people more willing to invest but god I'm so sorry hsr designs really aren't my thing, the color palettes are just incredibly bad JDKSFLJDSKLGHKDJ the only thing holding up the story are the plot and personalities of chars and neither of those were delivered ...

[starfiresyugiohocs]

OC Profile: Nana

Full Name: Nana Mutou. Nicknames: Sunbeam (by her grandparents), Na-chan, BaNana. Aliases: N/A. Nationality: Japanese. Birthplace: Domino City, Japan. Gender: Female (she/her). Sexuality: Lesbian, possibly polyamorous. Age: 18-20 years old. Birthday: November 7th. Star Sign: Scorpio. Occupation: Psychology & Fine Arts student; counter clerk at Kame Game. Voiceclaim: Mae Whitman

Hair Color: Red, with blonde bangs. Hairstyle: Goes a bit past her shoulders, absolutely wild and untamable, very thick and has just that little bit off spike and fluff to it. Her bangs fall in a similar manner to her brother's and grandfather's, just without the spikiness. Eye Color: Aqua blue. Skintone: Deep tan. Notable Features: Being a 6'3" giant in a family of hobbits is pretty notable. Excess amount of freckles all over, pierced ears. Outfit Style: Very vibrant and/or pastel colors. Loves jeans that she's painted or has embroidery on them, and graphic tees. Very comfy and easy to move around in. Also has a ton of workout clothes. Accessories: Anklets are a big thing and she still wears friendship bracelets.

Personality: Bright and bubbly personality. Easily excitable, especially when it comes to her friends. She wants to be a positive influence, always encouraging others to reach their full potential. Lot of warmth and compassion in her heart. Still tends to be a bit lonely, thankful for the dear friends she's made but she struggled with making friends outside of her group. Gets flustered very easily. Mom Friend 24/7. Constantly looks out for everyone. Protective of her little brother, always trying to stick up for him. Very determined, can be a little stubborn at times. Has a harder time managing stress but is thankful for her psychology classes to help give her some blueprints. Hobbies: Painting, drawing, making jewelry, jogging, baking, reading comics, collecting knick knacks (i.e. fun mugs).  Habits/Mannerisms: Tugging at her bangs when she's nervous, snorting when she laughs, smile through the pain, bear hugs and spinning people around when excited. Likes: Cozy games, watercolors, animated movies (esp Ghibli films), being at the beach, board games, summer, fireworks, festivals, butterflies. Dislikes: Driving, egotistical people, the cold, snow, first person shooters, writing essays, when it's pitch dark. Favorite Food: Oyakodon, cookie cakes. Least Favorite Food: Cold soba.

Deck: Elemental Heroes. Signature Card(s): Elemental Hero Lady Heat. Ranking: Isn't as active in the tournament scene herself, and just tends to enjoy the game. She doesn't have near the win streak Yugi and Yami have, and I don't think she's ever beaten her Grandpa, but she's got a few wins under her belt!

Parents: Asami Mutou (deceased) and Hanzo Inaba (absent completely). Was raised by her grandparents, Solomon Mutou and Hina Mutou (nee Shimada). Sibling(s): Yugi Mutou (younger brother). By extension, she also comes to view the spirit of the Puzzle, Yami, as her brother as well. Extended Family: I would say consult the family tree, but it's pretty straight forward and she doesn't really have any. Pet(s): A Shiba Inu named Taro. Love Interest(s): Ishizu Ishtar, Nami Izumi (credit: @icychill) Extensive Relationships: See page here (coming soon)

History:

Born as the eldest child to her parents, with Yugi following after two years. Her father disappeared from their life not long after her brother was born and she doesn't have any real memory of him and is happy enough not needing to seek him out.

Grew up with a group of friends very dear to her and she developed deep bonds with and are the exact reason Yugi craves that connection with people; he saw the example from her.

Their mother passed away when Nana was eight and Yugi was six, leading to them living with their grandparents at the game shop full time; they'd been helping watch after them since they were little after all.

Yugi finds the Puzzle a year afterwards and while Nana tried solving it herself, found it was better to let Yugi try (mostly because she got frustrated)

Started up college not long before the first fic and is excited to become a therapist so she can help others!

[xehdrickke]

Brand Chronicles

1. Introducing My Brand: A Journey of Strengths and Weaknesses

Hey there, fellow brand enthusiasts! Welcome to the unveiling of my brand persona. Just like any product or company, I too have my own set of strengths and weaknesses. Let's dive in!

Strengths:

1. Collaborative: I thrive in team environments, fostering cooperation and synergy.

2. Creative: Innovation is my middle name! I love brainstorming fresh ideas and thinking outside the box.

3. Open-minded: Embracing diversity and new perspectives is key to my approach.

4. Kind: Compassion and empathy are at the core of my interactions.

5. Honesty: Transparency is non-negotiable; I believe in integrity above all.

6. Frank: Constructive criticism is welcome here – no sugar-coating necessary.

7. Sociable: Networking is my playground; I love connecting with people from all walks of life.

8. Self-confident: Confidence is the key to success, and I wear it proudly.

9. Great team member: I'm reliable, supportive, and always ready to pitch in.

10. Patient: Rome wasn't built in a day, and I understand the value of perseverance.

Weaknesses:

1. Impatient: Sometimes, I struggle with waiting for results or processes to unfold.

2. Lack of self-control: Temptations can be hard to resist at times.

3. Lack of confidence: Self-doubt creeps in occasionally, but I'm working on it.

4. Nervousness: Public speaking? Cue the butterflies in my stomach!

5. Shyness: Initiating conversations with strangers isn't my strong suit.

6. Procrastination: Guilty as charged – I'm a work in progress when it comes to deadlines.

7. Sensitivity: I wear my heart on my sleeve, which can lead to taking things personally.

8. Disorganization: Chaos may ensue in my workspace from time to time, but I swear there's a method to the madness!

Stay tuned as I navigate the world of branding, embracing my strengths, and overcoming my weaknesses along the way.

2. Unveiling the Secrets of the Superbrands: A Review

Lights, camera, action! Join me as we embark on a thrilling journey through the world of superbrands in the acclaimed documentary series, "Secrets of the Superbrands."

From iconic logos to captivating ad campaigns, this series delves deep into the psyche of consumers and explores the mystique behind some of the world's most recognizable brands. From tech giants to fashion powerhouses, no stone is left unturned as we uncover the strategies and tactics employed by these industry titans to solidify their status in the global market.

With insightful commentary and jaw-dropping revelations, "Secrets of the Superbrands" offers a fascinating glimpse into the inner workings of branding behemoths. Prepare to be dazzled, intrigued, and perhaps even inspired as we unravel the secrets behind the logos.

Grab your popcorn and join me for a binge-worthy exploration of branding brilliance!

3. The Heart and Soul of Brand Stories: My Favorite Brands

What's in a brand? More than meets the eye, my friends. Join me as I delve into the captivating narratives behind some of my all-time favorite brands.

From humble beginnings to worldwide acclaim, each brand has a unique story to tell – and I'm here to share them with you. Whether it's the rags-to-riches tale of a scrappy startup or the legacy of a time-honored institution, these stories captivate our imaginations and resonate with our hearts.

So sit back, relax, and let's embark on a journey through the annals of branding history. From Nike's iconic swoosh to Coca-Cola's timeless charm, these brands have left an indelible mark on the cultural landscape – and I'm here to celebrate their triumphs, challenges, and everything in between.

4. Pinoy Pride: Spotlight on Pinoy Global Brands

Filipino pride is in the spotlight as we shine a spotlight on Pinoy global brands! From the bustling streets of Manila to the far reaches of the globe, Filipino entrepreneurs are making waves with their innovative products and world-class services.

Join me as we celebrate the ingenuity, resilience, and creativity of Pinoy brands making waves on the global stage. From fashion to food, technology to tourism, these brands exemplify the spirit of Filipino excellence – and I'm here to showcase their stories for the world to see.

So grab your passport and join me on a virtual journey through the exciting world of Pinoy global brands. From the streets of Makati to the boardrooms of New York City, Filipino entrepreneurs are leaving their mark – and I'm here to tell their stories.

5. The Power of Social Media: Building Brands in the Digital Age

In today's digital age, social media isn't just a platform – it's a powerhouse for building brands, shaping perceptions, and connecting with consumers on a personal level.

Join me as we explore the role of social media in the branding landscape, from Instagram influencers to viral TikTok campaigns. With billions of users worldwide, platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn offer unprecedented opportunities for brands to engage with their audience, cultivate brand loyalty, and drive sales.

But with great power comes great responsibility. As brands navigate the ever-evolving landscape of social media, authenticity, transparency, and genuine connection are more important than ever. From customer service interactions to influencer partnerships, every interaction shapes the brand's reputation and influences consumer perceptions.

So let's dive into the world of likes, shares, and retweets as we uncover the secrets to social media success in building brands that stand the test of time.

Stay tuned for more insights, musings, and adventures in the wild world of branding. Until next time, stay bold, stay brilliant, and keep shining bright!

[goldenxbby]

cold cuts in the moonlight

part 2 and part 3

εїз pairing: fezco x f!reader

εїз warnings: not much just blood, slight arousal, and poorly explained art history... BEWARE 

εїз word count:  5669 hehe

εїз summary: fez doesn't know where else to go except outside your window.

εїз a/n: this is like my very first time writing and sharing a fic so pls be nice i don’t know what i’m doing. this is based off everything we’ve seen in the first epi of season two of euphoria about an hour after the big fight (ahhh). i couldn’t decide whether to make the pov lexi or y/n so i just half based it off lexi so it can be used either way. also i plan on making this a series so if literally anybody likes this i shall try and post again.

She had just finished washing her face using the self-care tactic as a form of distraction since absolutely no one was answering their phones. She thought at least there was some normalcy compared to the commotion from this night's party.

returning to her dark room she flopped onto her bed grabbing her phone connected to its charger. She went straight to her messages for the 5th time tonight to look over Fez’s text. At the party when he put his number in her phone he sent himself a “:))”. It made her giggle when she first looked at it, but his time it sent a pang of worry and nostalgia through her heart. 

She missed the warm fuzzy feelings she had felt on that couch with him almost an hour ago. The moment before she saw Fez’s smirk turn to a tense stare. When his eyes had those little twinkles of light swimming in a pool of deep blue she so badly wanted to dive into, and not a complete shield of darkness blocking out the person who made her cheeks blush and whole body warm from head to toe. She worried where he was, what he was doing, what he was thinking, what he was thinking of her- no shit that was stupid why would she even be in his mind right now? She was a speck in the night he had. He must have had a million more important and interesting things running through his head than her boring self. He probably had already forgotten about her. 

Well, shit. Now her heart had shifted past her stomach and all the way outside her body, probably touching bedrock. She needed another distraction or she knew she would start her self-loathing monologue and that would definitely make this night even worse.

Opening twitter was a mistake. Having to look at the car crash that was her drunk and definitely high east highland peers tweeting about the pummeling and sharing videos of Nate Jacobs being unconsciously dragged out who knows house sent fear down her body. Not because what Fez did scared her she was more shocked than anything. No, she felt fear because seeing how everyone reacted to the fight made her realize her reflex after seeing Fez almost murder Nate in front of everyone was to be concerned about him. A man she barely knew and had shared maybe 6 sentences of conversation with. A conversation that left butterfly’s in her stomach and cheeks hot, a conversation that made her feel desired, listened to, comfortable, excited and seeing feelings she’s not sure she’s felt in a long time… or maybe ever. 

God, how was she falling for a guy who will probably never speak to her again? A guy that she barely knows. Why was the thought of falling make her feel thrilled? 

All those ideas took a pause when Rue's name popped up on her phone with a text notification. 

“rue: you talk to fez?”

Getting a text from Rue that wasn’t a reply was surprising, but getting one about Fez was even more. Staring at her phone with the idea that Fez might have also been thinking about her and even went out of his way to text someone he trusted about it made her bite her lips trying to hold in the joy. 

Oh, fuck those thoughts came back. What if she was totally delusional? Why the fuck would Fez talk about her? I thought we registered that he already forgot about her? He clearly wasn’t asking Rue about her. Rue probably saw them on the couch. Duh, they were at the same party and anybody that saw them together would be asking her the same question. The duo was extremely contrasting from the outside and she knew that but she also knew it felt like one of the rarest connections anybody would be lucky to have on this earth. 

Shit, she needs to reply. Rue can see she’s read the text. Trying to think of something that wouldn’t give a tell of her emotions was hard under the time constraints she gave herself. She landed on “wdym?”. Jesus the fuck was that? She never texts like that she knows Rue knows she has to use urban dictionary to talk to anybody their age. One message and she’s already failing at coming off as normal. 

*ding* 

Oh God is Rue gonna bully her now she must know somethings up? With all her anxiety right now she can not take Rue's teasing. Uneasily opening her phone with her eyes closed and holding her breath she finally takes a peak.

“rue: he asked for your addy?”

 Holy. She felt holy at that moment. Like all her dreams were manifestations like she must be God's favourite like an angel would appear out of nowhere and grant all her deepest wishes. And then it actually happened, it actually fucking happened. Unbeknownst to her at the time though. 

A soft tapping from her window barely took her out of her thoughts. Looking up from the phone she was disassociating into, she saw some of the light from the moon above her had been blocked in her window. Getting up and pulling her curtains to the side with a squint she saw him. 

His expression completely different from the hostile glance he gave her leaving the party earlier. The look he was wearing now staring down at her held innocence in it somehow. He quickly changed his questioning pout into a sincere half smile when she whispered “fez?”. That half tug of his lips and her name leaving them made her almost jump to open her window. 

You know when the Roman Empire fell and everyone was in such deep poverty that they became obsessed with the church? And all the paintings at the time were of saints with those golden halos? 

Well, Fez’s halo was white right now under the moonlight and he was swiftly becoming the saint she’d obsess over to divert from the poverty that was being away from his company. That’s all she could think about as the words “What are you doing here?” left her mouth. 

Fez's face dropped down looking at the ground then back at her the questioning unknowing look coming back to his face. “Ima be honest wit you, I’m acting on my gut rn instead of my head.” he chuckled. Making her smile up at him. She gained a confidence she’s only ever felt around Fez “We’ll does your gut wanna come in?”. All the self doubt she had held minutes ago was completely gone and the only thing filling her head was… just Fez. She could only think of him and trying to keep him with her for as long as possible.

 “…yeah.” he clearly took some time to think over his answer. Like his confidence had dissipated now having to actually go through with the wants that brought him to his current spot. Moving to the side to let Fez in she’s confused when he doesn’t enter. But looking back she noticed Fez taking his shoes off and then handing them to her with a “Not tryna get yo floors dirty ma.” which makes her giggle and whisper “Thanks.” while taking them. Bending down and out of his view, she places them next to her dresser and by the time she’s standing up he’s in her room. 

If Fez could have seen where she had been crouched over he wouldn’t have stood so close. Like there was barely fucking millimeters between them. If he had more room then maybe just maybe the wind wouldn’t be knocked out of him. Feeling her body heat radiate off her, her beautiful big eyes looking into his in the darkness, looking at her lips that must hold magnates in them because he had to force himself to stay right where he was and not smash his against hers.

 All that forcing and not breathing left silence in her room with only her breathing being heard. Since it seemed he wasn’t talking anytime soon she tries to think on her feet to not seem as awkward as she truly was. And all that came out of her mouth was a soft “Hi.”. This made Fez’s lost look change to a small smile. He replied “Hey.”. 

Is she really blushing at that? Jesus, how embarrassing is it that a small word like hey from his lips which were painfully too far away for hers could cause her to blush so fucking hard right now? To try and conceal her cheeks she looked down which probably wasn’t the brightest decision. 

It was so blaring she would have been confused why she was only just now looking at his beaten up hand, but Fez’s face existed so she didn’t question herself. Without think she let the sentence slip “Can I?” and looks back up to his doll like eyes. 

His smile was now gone and she could tell he was biting the inside of his lip but before she could feel like she violated his comfort he nodded his head. Finally stripping his gaze from her and looking to the side.

She went back to surveying his fist and let her hand go to caress his knuckles. Hearing him take a breath in she looked back at him worriedly, but he was already looking down at her. “Fez, are you okay?” she questioned sympathetically. Switching his sight again Fez replied “Life’s been worse ya know?” which immediately caused her to respond with almost an eye roll “That’s not answering my question.”. 

At first, she thought fez was taking his regular time to communicate as it was well known to anybody that had a conversation with Fez that he wasn’t necessarily a fast talker. But then the silence grew and he still wasn’t looking at her, so she opened her mouth with nothing prepared to say just hoping it would come to her in the moment like an idiot. 

She didn’t have to worry about what to say though because Fez finally spoke and looked back into her eyes with a new intensity that caused her to gulp saliva that wasn’t even in her mouth. 

“You know it doesn’t matter how high I get… I can never run away from that feelin of stress in the back of my head and let life slip away…” he paused “and I hate going to those stupid party’s, they’re always filled with annoying kids that either say two words to me buying shit off me or say the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard.” he laughed lowly “…but when you sat next to me… I…” his eyebrows contorted “I felt this comfort… like shit was alright, right now, and when you spoke it was like entertaining like every time you left I was waiting for you to come back and tell me another crazy fucking fact.” he finally smiled again but then looked down to his feet “I just cant be at home rn… you know?” taking a breath in he found her eyes “and I felt like if I’d wanna be anywhere else it be wit you”. 

Five hours, five minutes, five seconds ago she would have never thought she would have heard anything so touching, so romantic from anybody… especially Fezco. That confession left her brain completely blank. It was usually running at 200 mph but she always just chose not to share what was going on in there… since no one would listen anyways or maybe they never heard her? That felt better to believe at least. 

Oh, she should replying now, right? Shit- okay what the fuck do you say to that? Fuck fuck fuck. She was really regretting never putting herself out there with guys before (I mean it’s not they were going for her either so it wasn’t fully her fault). If she had an ounce of experience she’d know what to say to Fez but she really couldn’t think of anything like her brain was literally empty. But she can’t leave him hanging or he’ll think she’s disinterested and she was the complete opposite, so she must speak like now.

“You need water.”

Great, that was really romantic. Really communicating her feelings, isn’t she? Fez replied blinking slowly at her “huh?”. Well, the words have already started spilling out her mouth why stop now right? “When’s the last time you drank water tonight?” she questioned. “I don know?” Fez said back clearly confused about where her detour was going. “Exactly, you need to stay hydrated, stay here and I’ll get you some water.” she spits out at an unnatural speed. 

Running past her bed through her door she leaves Fez alone in the darkness of her room. Smiling at her cute and obvious awkwardness, Fez goes to sit on the end of her bed. Shuffling a little he looks down at her comforter. Sliding his hand on it to feel its softness he laughs to himself at the contrast of his roughed up hand touching her frilly and flower covered blanket. It hit him then, the pang in his heart realizing that steering himself into her perfect life with his mess of shit you could try to call a life, (you know based on the technicalities) would be selfish of him. That his danger vs her innocence would ruin her like the blood that had stained the white long sleeve shirt he was still wearing. 

Looking away to shake the realistic thoughts out of his head, Fez searched her room. Not looking for anything in particular just searching for something to take his emotions away. It landed on a polaroid of her from winter formal on the corner of her mirror. 

God, she was so beautiful he wished he could jump into the picture and transport back to that night. He'd grow a pair of balls and ask her for a dance instead of watching her from the sidelines all night. Maybe even get a kiss. His eyes kept moving around her room watching the decorations she chose to place all over. The clutter covering every surface, like her make-up and hair shit and stuffed animals and books of course she had a healthy selection. 

Then his eyes found it. Something he recognized. The deep green knit was perfectly folded on her dresser. He had forgotten about the clothing item. Not out of disinterest but just from everything else going around him at the moment didn’t leave much space for him to think of it. But she did. And she cared enough to take it with her and neatly fold it in her space. 

Her room was like a window into her brain, her otherworldly brain. everything around him made him feel like he wanted it to become a part of his daily routine, being here physically or through reminders like his clothing. He wanted to become a part of this.

A knock makes his head whip towards the door. It's soft and he can tell it’s coming from her. He walks up and before his hand reaches the knob he hears her voice softly whisper his name. Smiling at the call he opens her door fully and sees her with way more than a water. She smiles sheepishly as he gives her a questioning but humorous look “I couldn't open it with my hands full.”. He lets a laugh slip through his lips “I see dat.”. 

She walks past him into her room as he closes the door and dumps all the content onto her bed except a plate that stays in her hand. They both look down at the pile and she explains “I thought if you hadn’t had any water in awhile you probably haven’t eaten either, so I tried to make a sandwich, but I like never make them so I thought it probably won’t taste too good, so then I put chips so you don’t starve because of my terrible sandwich making skills…” Fez laughs switching his gaze to her “and then I thought your hand must hurt really badly, but we don’t have ice so I grabbed peas to work instead, and I realized that I hadn’t had water in a while either so grabbed one for myself.” she breathes out and smiles at her work while her smiles at her. 

Looking up at him she speaks “Well sit down.” and motions to her bedside. “uh sorry.” Fez murmurs and sits, grabbing the water while she hands him the plate of food “thanks.”. Without replying she reaches for the pillows he rests on shifting and fluffing them to properly support his back. Noticing her putting on the caretaker role Fez chuckles “You know I didn’t come here for you to take care of me?” she retorts back taking her hands from the pillows “I know but you deserve to be taken care of.”. Fez doesn’t want to fight her on what he deserves and doesn’t as he knows she definitely believes he’s a better person than he actually is and is strong minded enough to argue with him over the truth he’s known all his life, so he falls silent looking at his lap. 

A dip in the bed forms as she goes to sit next to him. Handing him the plate and grabbing her water bottle and the frozen peas she sits next to him. The cold of the peas reminded her whose hand they should be in. Without thinking she grabs his and places it on her thigh to properly hold and support it, which causes Fez to place the plate on his lap. She lays the peas on his knuckles as softly as possible and he winces. A “sorry.” escapes her mouth as she looks back at Fez’s face. “It's okay just the adrenaline’s startin to wear off.” he jokes. She nods, thinking “Oh I think I have some ibuprofen in here!” Fez goes to say it’s fine but is cut off before he even begins to speak seeing her turn and bend down searching in her bedside table. “I know it’s in here.” she states. His eyes instantly go to her ass that’s basically on full display at this moment. His eyes widen and to catch his breath he looks away while also trying to adjust the plate on his lap as high as humanly possible.

“Got it!” she exclaims and goes back to her original position while pouring two pills into her hand. She then ushers her hand in front of Fez’s face expecting him to take them out off her palm with his fingers. But her whole body tenses as he connects his lips to the side of her hand using it as a funnel and quickly sipping water. Not to help them go down his throat though, as he’s mastered dry swallowing, but to help the cottonmouth that’s formed from looking into her eyes while connecting his lip to the side of her palm, damning himself for ending the interaction too quickly. 

She tried to act as nonchalant as he appears so she goes back to iceing his hand on her lap. Laughing at herself thinking about how what she was doing wouldn’t be called iceing rather peaing, which helped her slip back into the same comfort she felt sitting next to Fez on the couch earlier that night. 

“So do you wanna talk about what happened or for me to entertain you?” she looked up at him smirking. Fez smirked back replying “Entertain.”. Looking up at the ceiling she took a second to think of what she could possibly entertain Fez with. “Hm, well I know you enjoyed the history shit.” Fez laughed at her almost forgetting where his hand rested “Yeah that pee shit was wild.” his remark made her add teeth to her smile. “Well, something almost as wild as the pee shit was like… well you know about medieval art right?” his smile then grew “Do I look like I know anything about art?” he threw back to her with a quirked eyebrow. She laughed “Well arts easy like that though, you don’t really need to know about it or what it means you can just make up what you think it means.” he looked jokingly judgy towards her. 

“Arts like the OG pick your own adventure story, you know? Everyone can believe what they think it means and it’s all valid and different and even the artists original meaning doesn’t matter, and it’s even better than pick your own adventure stories cause the longer the piece of art is on earth the more meanings it can have it’s like infinite.”. Fez whispers almost under his breath “fearless…” she laughs at his comment adding “Even like something like… a leaf, that can have so many meanings in art like nature or life or death or delicate or weak, it’s never ending.” she contently smiles at him. 

“What do you think it means?” Fez asks, his eyes quickly scan her eyes then lips then eyes again. She looks straight on not being able to handle his intense stare “Uhh well the way it’s captured matters like its context, but if you asked me to just picture a leaf and what the picture I created in my head means I’d say…” she closes her eyes and Fez uses that as an opportunity to taste her sandwich just in case it’s actually bad then she wouldn’t have to see his reaction. “I’d say it means to me humankind… the way it has those lines that look like a skeleton and how they are ever changing, but are resilient through difficult circumstances and flourish after the hardest times in their lives… and all inevitably die.” she opens her eyes looking over to Fez who looks almost starstruck, which she first takes as a huge compliment but then realizes that his reaction was definitely towards the sandwich half hanging out his mouth. It made her giggle “You weren’t even listening were you?”.

She could barely speak through her laughter, but Fez swallows as quickly as possible bringing his eyebrows together “Nah nah I was.” replying “Oh really?” she looked doubtful towards him. This caused Fez to sit up straighter and state “Yeah, but I disagree with the skeleton thing I think they look more like our nerves than our bones.”. She turns away not out of embarrassment more out of trying to hide the smile that had formed from seeing that he listened. Someone actually listened to her. 

Placing the peas back on his knuckles as he continues eating her sandwich “Sorry for doubting you it just looked like you were really into the food.” she looked back at him sharing her smile “I mean yeah it’s a good sandwich.” Fez complimented. “Thanks, I tried to make it like I’ve seen my mom do I just don’t make ‘em cause the cold cuts gross me out.” she shared.

“Why would you touch ‘em if they gross you out?” Fez asked genuinely “Cus I’m not trying to starve you out of my own selfishness Fez.” she joked. “You sure know how to make a guy feel special y/n.” he smiled and took another bite which caused her to blush and look down at her lap to hide from him. 

Looking at her reaction caused Fez’s heart to warm like it was in front of a bonfire. This warmth that grew over his body made him reflex his fingers to hold onto her thigh, fully grabbing it. She went blank feeling the electricity from his touch and dampness in her pajama shorts.

“…The medieval art?” he asked, afraid he made her uncomfortable but not wanting to let go of her. “Oh yeah…” she looked up at him “Um, in a lot of medieval paintings like especially family photos women would carry ferrets.” there, she was back and he relaxed probing her to continue “Ferrets?”. She laughed “Yeah they’re like weasels, like longs furry slinky’s.” Fez almost coughed up the bite of food in his mouth from her remark which cause her to laugh “They always had these ferrets with them cause they were like a good luck charm for fertility.” Fez's eyes widened. She nodded “Yeah, wild and they would even have them in their rooms while fucking. Hoping it would help bring them a baby.” with a suggestive glance Fez asked, “You learn all dis from reading?”. 

God she was praying the absence of light in her room could hide her obvious tomato coloured cheeks. “Yeah it seems weird but at least I know to never get a ferret as a pet.” she laughed. “You ont like kids?” he questioned becoming serious all of the sudden. Blinking at him she replied “Hm? no? … I just- I wouldn’t want one anytime soon…” she said worried she offended Fez with her lame joke, but he moved past it quickly. 

“You know the more time you spend with kids you realize they smarter than adults.” taking in his words she answered with a small “hm”. 

“Like life distracts us and complicates shit and maturity is just stupidity adults hide behind.” Fez claimed. “Well if that’s true then everyone that goes to east highland are extremely mature.” she jokes causing Fez to chuckle but quickly reply “Except you.”. taken aback she lets out a breathy “really?”. She quirked her eyebrows at Fez “Yeah ma you one of the smartest women I’ve ever met.”. 

That would have been a minimal compliment from anybody except Fez, who was raised by his grandmother, one of the only people he’s ever loved, he believed she was the smartest woman in the world and claiming y/n wasn’t far behind was like saying his vows for Fez. With a genuine “thanks fez.” she looked down again shyly. 

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Hm?” Fez’s question caused her to look back up “You went off on me not starving but what about you?”. Fez’s care made her whole body temperature go up at least 50 degrees “I- I already brushed my teeth.” she stated pointing at her lips. Fez scoffed dramatically “So did I.” which made her smile. “I care about my hygiene y/n.” Fez rolled his eyes to make her laugh even more “Sorry Fez.” she joined in on the joke making her movements more comical. “So have a chip to earn my forgiveness.” He angled the plate towards her “But it’ll make my breath stink.” she argued “And the mustard on that sandwich hasn’t made mine?” he pushed. She looked into Fez’s eyes deeper, confessing “Fez you could smell like literal dog shit and I wouldn’t care.”. he wasn’t sure if that statement was supposed to make his dick twitch but the knowledge that her seemingly sarcastic joke was her way of saying she liked being around him, made blood continue to rush to his groin. 

Fez picked up a chip and silently placed it on her lips which she rolled her eyes at, but took in her mouth. “Mhm that’s good.” she moaned as she grabbed more from his plate. Fez was just trying to make it look like the feeling of her lips on his fingers didn’t make him feel like he could hear angels sing and almost completely forget about the bloody things he had done a couple of hours earlier. 

She went on to explain to Fez how one of Amrita Sher-Gil’s portraits was basically the first diss track, as she felt he enjoyed her ramblings on fertility ferrets in medieval paintings enough to talk about one of her favourite painters. 

Fez could tell she was getting tired since her speech almost started to become as slow as his and seeing that she ate all of the contents on his plate a while ago he thought he’d suggest for her to get some rest. “Ma, I don’t wanna keep you up you should get sum sleep.” Fez turned his head towards her resisting the urge to cup her face. She yawned “Fine, but you have to stay.”. 

Fez looked into her eyes contemplating leaving in case she’d do something she’d regret “…fine.”. She smiled jumping up like she had gained all her energy back. Grabbing his plate and now thawed bag of peas she ran on her tiptoes out of the room. 

With the click of the door, Fez was left in silence. He felt his phone vibrate grabbing to unlock it. 

“ash: where tf u @????”

“fez: im out.”

“ash: u think it a good idea bein' out rn?”

“fez: ill be back in the morn.”

“ash: where r u fez”

“fez: ill be back in the morning.”

“ash: fuck FINE”

Fez was so annoyed with Ashtrays interrogation he didn’t hear her door open. "What are you doing?” Fez jumped a little “I was texting Ashtray” she came closer standing in front of the bed. “No I mean what you’re wearing, I thought only psychopaths wear jeans when they sleep?” now fully in bed, swaddled in her comforter she looked up at him waiting. Fez anxiously chuckled. if she asked him to cut off both his legs right now looking at him like that… he’d do it. 

“Aite close your eyes.” he said standing up. She quickly covered her eyes with her palms. "You have boxers on right?” She felt the bed dip and comforter open “Yes I have boxers on.”.

Taking her hand off her face, she looked into his eyes “I ain’t a man whore y/n.” Fez smirked at her which made her smile. “I know that.” she whispered as their faces were now as close as they were when he first came through her window. they smiled and looked into each other's eyes till Fez said softly “come er.”. She happily scooted into him, holding onto his upper waist and laying her head on his chest trying not to be too loud when sniffing in his scent. Fez held onto her waist and shoulder, keeping her as close to his body as possible looking down at her she said “you know for a non-man whore you sure do give it up fast for the first night.”. Fez laughed at her like her jokes could never get old or stop completely surprising him. She continued “if you wanted to cuddle me so badly you could have just said that at the beginning and we’d be here way faster.”. “am I really giving off that vibe?” Fez laughed. “no I’m just teasing you.” she said scrunching her face. 

He looked into her eyes like he wanted to devour her which made what he then said surprising to y/n “You know this ain’t a date right?”. With her confidence now depleted she felt embarrassed and rejected even though she was joking before and had her legs tangled with his. She scoffed trying to play it cool “Yeah Fez, jeez I’m not a kid.” he looked confused saying “Nah nah I know I mean… if I took you on a date, it be like a real date like to the diner or sum romantic shit.” he ended confidently. “oh.” she looked down now blushing then looked back up at him “Well if you asked me to go on a date to some romantic place like the diner… I’d say yes.”. fez smiled with his teeth “Would you go on a date wit me y/n?” he questioned with audible excitement. “I’d love to… but you can't ghost me, can't leave after tonight with no texts and expect me to wait by the phone for you.”. “Pft like I’d do that?” he played but y/n’s face became humourless “Fez.”. “I promise, I promise!” he said almost lifting his hands up to show defeat “good.” y/n smiled rubbing her cheek into his chest. With her eyes closed, she finally allowed herself to lull to bed. 

Fez felt regret at that moment. He wished he would have lied to y/n. He should have convinced her he wasn’t hungry. Maybe if he didn’t down the sandwich she made him he’d be able to grow some balls and kiss her. But he was too insecure about his breath and wanted the first time he kissed her to be perfect. So he just looked down at her in adoration knowing that if he hadn’t of acted on his gut tonight he wouldn’t be falling asleep with a smile on his face and the girl of his dreams in his arms. 

Then it hit him. How innocent she was compared to him, how cruel he was compared to her delicate nature. Scared that by bringing her into his life he would break her like the leaves she once talked to him about. But he never felt the way he does about her for anyone else, in all honesty, he never thought he would. Fezco always imagined having a girlfriend as something that would do more bad than good. Sure he has had casual sex but he never muttered more than five words at them just wanting to get from point a to b not really caring who with. Dealing with a whole girlfriend on top of all of his other extreme stressors seemed pointless. He'd never thought he would want to open up to someone that deeply or have feelings for someone that was even close to love. But with y/n… he wanted it all. To learn everything about her, to share everything about himself with her, to become a part of her life, to spend more moments wrapped in each other’s arms, to listen to her ramble about her random interests, to laugh with her, to make love with her, to love her and to protect her… He knew if he was going to allow himself to try his wants with her he’d have to promise to himself that’d he would protect her in any way possible.

[xfandomwritingsx]

Shut Up and Kiss Me - Alex Karev

Description: One night, Alex asks you an unexpected question; "You still got a thing for me?"

Warnings/Labels: None

Approx. Word Count: 1,100

A/N:   I'm not expecting this to be one of my greatest hits, but god damn do I love Alex Karev and I will always be bitter about what they did to his character. But anyways... I don't know when exactly in the series this takes place. I imagine a long history between these two.

“You still got a thing for me?”  

The question takes the wind right out of you, air evaporating from your lungs and causing you to choke on nothing but the pure existence of your own throat. You try to cover it up and act as though you’d swallowed a piece of the carrot you’re currently chopping, but there’s that little smirk at the corner of his lips that implies he doesn’t believe your act. 

“What?” you sputter between coughs, letting go of the knife and thumping your palm flat against your chest twice.  

“That a yes?” he teases, taking the chance to reach over the island and steal one of the bits of carrot while you don’t have a hold on the knife. He tosses it into his mouth and slides off the stool to slip around the counter, giving you the opportunity to try to get your blush under control before he sees it. 

Because this is a question you try very hard not to think about. Because you are, in fact, afraid of the real answer. Quite literally everyone knows you harbored a major crush on Alex for the first year or two of your internship. After turning you down on multiple occasions, you’d both somehow managed to stumble your way into an unbreakable friendship. You’d been his shoulder through his divorce with Izzie, the first person he asked for when he woke up after the shooting, the one person who could help soothe away or drink away his nightmares and he, likewise, became the same person for you. When someone can’t find one of you, they call the other because it’s almost guaranteed you’ll know where they are.  

Through all of that, you’ve suppressed, and sometimes even managed to forget, the butterflies you feel deep down when he smiles at you. You drink enough black coffee in the mornings to wash away the dreams you still have periodically. You throw all of yourself into relationships you know probably won’t work out and refuse to even consider it’s because you need everyone, including yourself, to believe you’re not still pining. And most days, you’re not. Most days you’re happy for him with his many girlfriends as long as they’re healthy. Most days you’re happy with him being your best friend, the person you trust with anything. Most days you don’t even think about wanting him anymore. 

But now, for the first time in a long time, you’re both unattached. And for the first time ever, his fingers have skimmed over yours with an entirely different energy than they used to. There’s been a look in his eye that stirs something, that makes the air thick and weighty. You can’t deny he’s been flirty, but you’ve been denying what it could possibly mean or why he’s suddenly dragging his eyes down your body as if he’s seeing you for the first time. No. You’ve done a hell of a job of not letting your mind wander and get carried away and think what if.  

“No,” you say clearly, finally able to bring air back into your lungs. He’s somewhere behind you now and you try to track his movements, but he’s too quiet. “I do not still have a thing for you.” You scoff at him for good measure and put your hand back on the knife to try to resume making dinner. You only get about two more chops in before Alex interrupts you again. 

“You sure?” he asks, a little too quietly and a little too closely. There’s a drop in his tone that nearly sends shivers down your arms and you let go of the knife again. You feel the tickle of fingertips on your hip and a short burst of adrenaline runs through you. 

“Of course,” you insist, spinning around to face his smug face. “Why would you even-” Your words falter as his hand envelopes your hip and he leans in, coming to be much closer than you can ever remember him being. There’s no more humor in his eyes.  

“I’m asking,” he says lowly, bringing his other hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear. “Do you still like me?” Everything inside of you flutters and you open your mouth twice before anything comes out. 

“Alex,” you whisper. He can see the answer, the truth, inside of your hesitation. He can read you like a book and every miniscule thing you do, from the way you shift your weight to the way you can’t look away from his eyes, tells him everything he needs to know. When you open your mouth again, he gives the smallest shake of his head. 

“Just shut up,” he tells you before sweeping into you and pressing his lips to yours. He comes forward with enough enthusiasm to force you backwards, the counter edge now pressing into your lower back and your hands curling around it to keep yourself on your feet.  

A million questions run through your head, but they’re all quieted by the sound of your heart seemingly stopping and restarting violently within your chest. That kick of adrenaline surges forth again and once your balance is found, your hands are in his hair, body arching forward to press back into his. There’s a low moan and for a moment you think it must have been you, but no. It’s him. Alex moaning at the kiss, the thing you’ve wanted for so long, with such a longing as though he’s the one who’s been craving it every night, gives you a rush of courage.  

Your hands slip down over his face, then neck, then around his shoulders to his back where you grab at the fabric of his t-shirt and give it a tug upwards. He smirks into the kiss and one of his hands disappears behind your back. The knife, the carrots, the cutting board all get moved out of the way, some of it falling to the floor. He grips you underneath your thighs, right under your ass, and lifts you up onto the counter. Only then does he pull away from you, but only enough to remove his shirt.  

In that short break, you realize how heavily you’re panting, how tingly your skin is. Your hands are on his chest before you can even think to stop yourself. The flutter of his eyes lets you know he doesn’t mind in the least.  

“Alex,” you say again as he comes forward, the last bit of your logical side trying to get his attention. This time your voice is breathless and heavy and end in a moan when his lips connect to the side of your throat. He says your name in return, husky and muffled against your skin. 

“Shut. Up.” His command is punctuated with kisses. As you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him ever closer, you decide questions can wait. Right now, you’re fine with giving into him and getting what you’ve longed for.  

[thekisforkeats]

Ooh jm + shy kiss for the prompts?

Ohhh good one! I had to think about this a little and actually wrote up a bunch that didn't quite work at first. But! Here it is!

Set somewhere in the first few minutes of 160, in those weeks between arriving at the safehouse and Hazel Rutter. Featuring autistic Martin trying to navigate social situations because that is evidently what I write now.

(Incidentally the term "weak ties" was coined by a Stanford researcher in 1973. Link to the relevant paper. Credit where due, and all.)

(No beta no edits we die like archive assistants.)

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It takes Martin a week to convince Jon to come down into the village with him.

If he's being honest with himself--and he's trying very hard to be honest with himself these days, so he can identify any Lonely-type thoughts--he really just wants to show off his boyfriend to the nice lady at the little shop in the village where he's been picking up essentials.

Martin is a naturally friendly person, or maybe a naturally personable person. This was not always the case; he had to practice a great deal to memorize all the scripts to smooth social interactions that other people seem to navigate without thinking about it at all. It can be horribly exhausting, just going to the shops. It's one of the reasons the Lonely appealed to him; how much easier to just move through life without having to recite all those canned lines?

Now that he's out of its grip, he's come to realize how much those interactions matter. He's been reading a lot on the internet about depression and social interaction, about social circles, and one thing that caught his eye is the idea of "weak ties," those people we're not exactly friends with, but who we see on a regular basis and who help us feel connected to a larger community. People who don't really know us and yet know something about us that helps us feel seen. The bus driver who gives you a familiar nod every morning. the barista who's prepping your order as soon as he notices you in line, the shop lady who tries to keep your favorite tea in stock.

So Martin is trying to cultivate those relationships, to feel part of a wider community, rather than just relying on Jon. He thinks that maybe if he'd had more of that, before, if he'd tried harder to go through the world being seen, he might have handled Jon's coma and his mother's death in some kind of healthier manner.

Maybe not, of course, but he's going to use any tool he can to keep the Lonely at bay.

At any rate, even beyond being very good at social scripts, Martin does genuinely like people, he's a good listener, for an autistic guy he's practically a social butterfly. And Elspeth is a nice lady, maybe mid-40's, the kind of person who runs a shop because she actually likes interacting with a stream of customers on a regular basis. So she's just the sort of person for Martin to practice his "weak tie" skills.

Because, naturally, one of the key benefits of "weak ties" is that they are the sort of people you get to be public about your relationship with when none of your closer friends are around.

Yeah, no, all of the above is just flimsy justification, if Martin's being really honest with himself. He's just madly in love and wants literally everyone within a 500-mile radius to know.

That morning, Martin makes a big show of how badly he wants to spend time with Jon, no really, but he really does have to go down into the village.

"We're out of tea!"

"I don't think we have anything for dinner!"

"But I really want to keep listening to you talk about Scottish history!"

And so on.

Jon gives him a tolerantly amused look, and Martin flushes. Is he that transparent, or is Jon just that good at reading him?

"I suppose I can go into the village with you, Martin," he says, eyes glittering. "Since you're so terribly interested in the House of Stuart. I'd hate to leave you wondering what happened to James II."

Martin would feel guilty, but he can tell Jon is pleased to be "indulging" him, and it's not like Martin hasn't been listening to Jon infodump about whatever random facts Beholding's been given him all week.

They hold hands all the way down into the village, and it's nice, to walk through the place and be seen, together. It's comfortable. They'd held hands on walks before, long ago in London, before the Unknowing, but back then they hadn't been sure what they were, hadn't managed to broach the delicate barrier between "friends" and "something else." Now, they're "boyfriends," and Martin keeps finding himself wanting to go up to each person he sees on the street and shout, "This is my boyfriend, Jonathan Sims!!"

By the time they reach Elspeth's shop, he's feeling a little giddy.

He pushes open the door and the little bell rings, and Elspeth looks up from behind the counter and smiles. "Martin!" she says, and Martin's whole body warms in a very pleasant manner, that this woman he's only known a week remembers him. "Oh, and this must be the elusive Jon." She gives them one of those teasing smiles people give to new couples, glittering eyes and amusement at the silly things people do when they're in limerence.

"Yes," Martin says, and suddenly the words stick in his throat. "Yes, this is... is... umm..." Oh, why has he suddenly frozen like a deer in headlights? Why can't he remember the right words?

"Jonathan Sims," Jon says smoothly, stepping forward to offer the woman his hand. "And yes, I'm Martin's boyfriend."

It occurs to Martin, all at once, that neither of them have said that out loud to anyone else. No wonder he's frozen up.

Elspeth glances at the burn scars on Jon's hand only briefly, then smiles--and it's a genuine smile, not one of those pitying ones people sometimes put on when they see scars like that--and shakes said hand. "Pleased to meet you," she replies. "Elspeth Douglas." She has the Highland accent, but softened; she spent her 20's and 30's in London, she's said, and came back to take over the family store when her father fell ill. The similarity might be part of why Martin likes her--that and the fact that it seems that helping her sickened parent improved her life.

"Ahh, yes. The not-so-elusive Elspeth." Jon actually flashes a grin, which Martin finds remarkable. Since when is Jon... friendly? Well, maybe he's trying for Martin's sake. If so, Martin very much appreciates the effort.

The woman behind the counter laughs, and says, "How can I help you?"

"Oh," Martin manages, his brain catching up and letting his mouth work again, "we're just here for tea and things."

"Of course," Elspeth says. "I'll be here when you're ready."

They turn away, to go deeper into the aisles.

"She seems nice," Jon says almost absently. "Shame about her fa--" He pauses, and frowns. Shakes his head, looking irritated. "You didn't tell me about that," he grumbles.

"No, I didn't. But thank you for trying to keep it in," Martin says.

Jon sighs, lowering his voice. "It's becoming harder and harder to separate what I've learned on my own from what Beholding gives me. How much of my thoughts are mine anymore? Did I actually memorize all those facts about the House of Stuart, or am I getting the... mental Wikipedia page, as it were?"

"Seems like a thing you'd know," Martin comments offhandedly. He's focused on figuring out what kind of rice to buy. He wants to try his hand at sticky rice, which really should have calrose, but Jon likes jasmine rice. Do they get both?

He doesn't want to think about Beholding, and how much of it is Jon anymore. He prefers just thinking about it as something like a smartphone app Jon can use without having to actually have a phone in front of him. He does not want to think about how much of his boyfriend has been potentially consumed by some kind of eldritch thing that feeds on fear.

He really doesn't want to think about the idea that maybe soon, Jon won't even need rice anymore, and will just live off statements, no matter how much he jokes about his partner's "eating habits."

Jon has been talking as Martin's been staring at the rice, but Martin hasn't heard any of it. He's brought back to himself by a squeeze of Jon's hand in his.

"Hey," Jon says softly. "You okay?"

In Jon's voice, Martin hears all the concern that Martin himself has been feeling. He forces himself to look at Jon, and sees bright green eyes staring out of a deep brown face. He realizes he's gotten used to the color of Jon's eyes; before the coma, Jon's eyes were brown, like a deep carnelian, and so large and dark sometimes Martin thought he could fall right into them and be happy drowning there. Now they're green, bright and disarming, and Martin's pretty sure this is why Jon still wears glasses he no longer needs, to hide those strange eyes behind plastic lenses.

Those eyes are looking up at him intensely now, and Jon's brow is furrowed, and his mouth is pulled into a frown in a way that highlights one of the worm scars near his lip, and all of it is adorable, but it's also disconcerting for the contrast between the softness of his voice and the intensity of his expression.

Is Jon as afraid of losing Martin to Forsaken as Martin is of losing Jon to Beholding?

Martin frowns at him for a moment, then sighs. "I just..." He has to look away, back to the bags of rice. "I just... don't like thinking about that. Beholding, and... all of it. I just... I just wish..."

"You wish we could be normal." Jon's tone is still soft, and filled only with love and no sort of guilt or self-recrimination.

"Yeah," Martin says, still staring at the rice.

There's a hesitation, and then Jon says, softly and slowly, "You know... normal people deal with these sort of difficult things, too. There's so much out there that can hurt people... the things we deal with, they're weirder than most of the rest of it, but..."

"Yeah, I know, Jon, I just..." Martin hunches his shoulders. "Don't want to lose you again," he finally mumbles.

Jon hesitates a moment, and then he leans in to give Martin a soft kiss on the cheek.

Martin flushes bright red--Elspeth's right there!--and turns to stare at Jon. "W-what... what was... that for?!"

Jon, too, is blushing. "I just... ah... I just... wanted you to know that... that I'm... here. You haven't... lost me. Or anything."

"Oh," Martin says. "Well. Thank you."

There's a moment where they just look at each other, and then Jon blurts, "...Can I kiss you again? It's just, I haven't all morning, and I really sort of wanted to spend the morning cuddling, but you wanted to come down to the shops..."

"Here?!" Martin stares at him.

"We can go behind the shelves if you like," Jon says, blushing furiously.

For some reason, this makes Martin giggle, and then he leans down to brush his lips to Jon's. Softly, shyly, as if they haven't been kissing each other all week, because he really is terribly aware of the fact that there are other people around.

"Tell you what," Martin says as he pulls back, surprisingly breathless despite how short the contact of their lips was, "let's finish up the shopping and then we can cuddle all afternoon."

Jon smiles up at him. "Promise?" The smile widens. "You're not going to drag me around to introduce me to every villager individually?"

"I was not--!" Martin glares at him, but now Jon's smile has become one of those shit-eating grins he gets sometimes, and Martin can't stay mad at him at all.

"You knew," he accuses, but there's no heat in it.

"I had a hunch," Jon says, humming. "I didn't want to spoil your fun, though."

Martin rolls his eyes, and then reaches out to take Jon's hand again. "Well, then, we'd better get to it. Jasmine or calrose? Rice, I mean."

"Both, I think," Jon says. "I find myself very much desiring normality of late, and rice is a terribly normal sort of thing."

[jilytho]

if only in my dreams

Lily has been having some dreams about James but of course that in no way means she has any feelings for him of any kind

Read below or on AO3 or FFNT

The dreams started about a month into October of Seventh Year. They started slow at first and innocent enough, fun little dreams of the Marauders and Lily’s friends all sat near the fire playing Exploding Snap or chatting at dinner. Slowly, however, they started to shift. Instead of it being all of their friends together, they began to focus in on just her and James. Sometimes they were outlandish and artificial the way dreams could be, like the one where she was a star quidditch player and was playing his team but all of the other teammates were octopuses, or the one where Paul McCartney was their Transfiguration Professor. Fun and ridiculous and clearly too dreamlike to be of any real consequence to her but certainly notable. Yet other times they were so completely and utterly simplistic, domestic even. Calm and casual, just them sitting and laughing and holding hands. Everytime one of those occurred, Lily would wake up feeling content, at peace almost. Then the realization set in and the contentment quickly turned to horror. Those were the scariest dreams of all.

After the first few she was able to write them off as a coincidence, simply neurons firing in her brain as a way of dealing with spending so much time with him during the day as co-heads. Especially as they became friends over those first few months, it was really simple and logical, just her brain dealing with him being so present in her life and working it out as she slept. Considering it’d been years of them fighting and screaming, the sudden shift to friendship and laughing was obviously a lot to process.

The dreams didn’t occur every single night, at least not at first, more like once or twice a week at max. Just enough for her to spend some time thinking about them during a boring Ancient Runes class and processing them, but certainly not enough to cause any real worry or concern over her well being.

Even when they increased in frequency, from twice a week to six times a week plus that one time she zoned out and started daydreaming during History of Magic (which didn’t really count because he was sitting next to her and smelled so good of course it was going to leech into her dreams). It wasn’t hard to rationalize those either. It was completely logical that she’d daydream about lying on the Quidditch pitch alongside James, looking up at the stars together, hands intertwined, because after all they had stood near each other in Astronomy that day and he had pointed out Venus’s moons to her. It was natural, truly.

And it wasn’t difficult at all to make the connections between that day at lunch when she’d almost tripped but he’d caught her with a strong arm wrapped around her waist with that evening, when she had dreamt that same arm was wrapped around her tightly as she sat in front of him on the back of his broomstick as they flew over the school.

They were just dreams. Harmless imaginings of the imagination and the kind of stuff that was covered in day one of Petunia’s psychology courses at muggle Uni. Easily explainable and not in anyway shape or form telling of any real emotions she’d possibly be having.

Except that considering how simple and natural some of the dreams felt, she occasionally started mixing up what had happened between dream James and Lily and real life James and Lily. Was it real James or dream James that had brushed her hand while passing a quill in Transfiguration and set a wild blaze of electricity firing all up and down her arm? Did she actually hear real James’s breath hitch when she had brushed against him while reaching for the bottle of scalamander eyelashes during potions? Was it real James or dream James that she had stood so close to, close enough to feel his chest rising and falling against her as they hid from Filch in a cupboard?

It shouldn’t have been much of a surprise (but of course it still was) when the dreams turned a little more… intimate. When instead of dreaming of lunch in the Great Hall, the scene began to shift to lunch in the Three Broomsticks, just the two of them, followed by hand holding through the streets of Hogsmeade.

Friday night escalated things to nightmare level. Lily had been studying in the common room with Dorcas when the team returned from practice, led by James. Sweaty, grass stained, hair mussed, quidditch gear wearing, James. Lily felt her throat tighten and heart accelerate. His eyes landed on her and instantly smirked, nudging Marlene to point them out before the pair of them headed straight towards her.

“Evans, Meadows,” Lily’s mouth was too dry to respond. She nodded weakly as Marlene flopped down next to her and looked at her strangely.

That image of him haunted her, snuck deep into her subconscious, permeated her thoughts and took root there to flood her dreams. Filled them with him, sweaty and red, but for a reason far different from quidditch, leaning over her, whispering into her ear while she gripped his shoulders and left scratches in a trail down his back.

She couldn’t meet his eye the next day at breakfast.

This process seemed to repeat for the next several weeks: notice something about James during her waking hours that her subconscious would latch onto for the evening, wake up embarrassed, flushed, unsatisfied, and try her hardest to ignore him and stop the cycle. She never succeeded.

The night that really ruined her was right after they’d been partnered in defense. When she’d struggled with the incantation and he’d placed his fingers overtop of hers to show the correct positioning. When she felt how strong and flexible his hand was, how warm and long and rough his calloused fingers were. She felt shivers up and down her neck as he breathed closely to her, smelled mint on his breath, smelled the warm musk that was just so James.

All night she twisted and turned in her sleep, feeling those fingers trace up and down her arms, down her chest, twisting and lapping around the valley of her breast, circling each bud, pushing lower and lower, carving out waves of electricity as they squeezed her hips until she could just feel his fingers circling her clit. She could feel the callouses, could see him smirking at her as he’d bring his head down to meet his fingers, following the same trail of his fingers with his mouth, leaving a series of kisses across her skin.

She’d woken in a tangle of sheets sticking to the sweat on her skin, his name on the edge of her lips.

It’d taken a long, ice cold shower, to clear her head successfully. She stood in the freezing water attempting to justify the dream as just a way for her subconscious to deal with the fact that her close friend was decidedly fit. She tried desperately to cling to the idea of the dreams being a symptom of teenage hormones. However, in spite of her most sincere attempts, it was becoming shockingly clear that the dreams were much more a symptom of her real, genuine feelings for James. Romantic feelings. Spurts of butterflies and rampaging elephants that flooded her heart when he smiled. The fact that he could make her feel so on edge with excitement and anticipation when she saw him coming yet also immediately comfortable and the ability to talk to him about anything.

But she missed her chance. He’d been into her before, sure, but that was long over now. He’d essentially told her as much back in September, when he asked for a ceasefire now that they were both Heads. He’d told her he had grown up and would stop asking her out and bothering her if they could be civil, wasn’t that admitting that he’d left any possible romantic feelings for her behind him? He was over her. He was over her and it wasn’t his problem that she’d just now begun to realize how very badly she wanted him, all of him. She’d just get past it too.

How she was going to possibly get over him when his every waking action filtered through her dreams each night was the real issue. Her fingers were beginning to go numb from the frigid water, nearly shaking as she reached to turn the water off.

She wrapped her towel around her tightly, sheltering her like armour as she met her reflection in the mirror. Cheeks still flushed.

“Get over it,” she whispered to herself. She’d avoid him. That was the best solution. The only way to remove him from her dreams was to remove him from her waking moments as well. It’d be hard to avoid him forever, but at the very least she couldn’t be alone with him. Groups would be safer.

XXX

The next several days were difficult. Filled with eyes flitting away, nodding answers to his questions that had clearly been asked to engage in a conversation, ducking into bathrooms as he came down the corridor, and in a moment of absolute desperation brought on when she saw him standing there waiting for her in the doorway after potions, clearly attempting to walk with her which was essentially an ambush, and she had no choice but to strike up a conversation with Slughorn on the merits of using crushed salamander spleens verses the ever controversial chopped spleens. He’d gone on for about six minutes before James had given up and moved on to lunch, Lily counted to thirty before cutting Slughorn off and dashing away.

In the end she lasted three days of almost complete avoidance. He found her in the library. She’d done her best at hiding, choosing to study in the dusty Arithmancy section that maximum one person and one ghost seemed to visit per year and the table needed a solid Scourgify charm before she was able to sit down. She’d made it through half of her Charms essay before his hands slammed down on the table.

“Lily, I need to talk to you.”

His voice was tense and without looking up she could envision his rigid shoulders and sharp jaw looming over her. Her grip tightened on her quill as she set her shoulders and took a breath.

“Little busy right now, can it wait?”

He scoffed and pulled back the chair opposite her. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Not avoiding,” she squeaked, sneaking a glance up to see his gaze locked in on her and quickly averted her eyes back down. “Just busy, very, very busy.”

She could feel the eye roll.

He reached out across the table and closed the textbook she’d been reading from with a thump, forcing her to meet his eyeline with a glare that he unflinchingly met with his own.

“You can’t prove anything,” she crossed her arms across her chest.

“The only proof I needed I got when you suddenly, desperately had to talk to Flitwick about the best technique for forging charms which we all know you mastered three years ago. Or when you needed to discuss that stupid Salamandar debate with Slughorn that was clearly boring even you stale.”

He stated it all dryly, matter of fact, leaving no room for question or debate. They sat there silently for 93 seconds (she counted) as James leaned back in his chair, a vision of casual confidence.

“Fine!” She broke first. “I’m avoiding you. Are you happy? Are we done here now?”

He barked out a laugh, dropping his hands onto the table and folding them together. “We’ll be done when you explain whatever it is I did that made being around me so awful when we were just getting to a place where I thought we were friends, or at the very least capable of being in the same room and having a civil conversation.”

“I think it's time I go.” She pushed all her stuff into her rucksack hastily, hearing an ink well shatter as she did, and practically running to the door. One of the only benefits of the Arithmancy section is that it at least had a fast exit route, away from the main drag of tables, up the side of the aisles. She could hear James scrambling out of his chair and running to catch up with her but she refused to look back, getting as close to running as she could without risking the wrath of Madam Pince.

She was so close to the exit, the taste of freedom on the tip of her tongue. If she could just get out of the library, she could go left out of view and hide in an alcove until he passed or gave up looking. From then it’d be a simple matter of hiding away in her dorm for the next two to six days before she felt capable of facing him. She was rounding the corner to the exit, nodding tightly to Pince, when she felt his fingers wrap around her wrist and yank her into the nearest aisle.

She stared longingly over her shoulder at the exit as it disappeared as James pulled her along, weaving through aisles. Past Charms, past their table in Arithmancy, straight through Potions, all the way deep into the Divination section where the dust on the books appeared to be older than Lily and James combined.

It was there he finally stopped. Pulling her to the center of the aisle and standing strong in front of her.

It was silent for a tic as she stood there counting the seconds, mentally hoping that if she stayed quiet long enough, James would give up and leave.

Instead he cleared his throat. The noise was jarring in the otherwise silent aisle and without thinking her head turned on its own accord away from the dusty tombs to meet his eyes instead. Big mistake. His eyes were positively smoldering, a storm of hazel and gold glaring down at her. She’d always loved his eyes.

“What?” she bit out, forcing herself to break eye contact and stare somewhere around his shoulder instead.

“Start talking, Evans.”

His shoulders looked solid, no way she could charge past them. The way his shirt was pulling taut across them made her wonder if they’d feel as solid as they appeared and how’d they feel on her hands if she dug her nails into them while she-

She ripped her eyes away from his shoulders and down to his shoes instead. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered, studying his laces and fidgeting slightly.

He scoffed and brought his free hand to her chin to tilt her gaze up to meet his once more. There were the eyes again.

“It’s a little late for all that, Lily.” He spoke slowly and quietly, as if she was a young deer he was worried would scamper off. “Now talk to me or I swear to god I’ll learn Occlumency just to get a peek at what you’re thinking about up there.”

Well that was a horrifying thought. Her brain reeled through all the images he’d see if he had actually taken a peek, his body pressing hot up against her, the two of them sitting in a sunlit field, picking dandelions, him wiping away a butterbeer mustache off her top lip as they laughed in the Three Broomsticks, him winning the Quidditch Cup and picking her up to spin her around in front of everyone.

“There,” he whispered accusingly, “that blush all over you right now? You’re hiding something from me, Evans, and that ends right now.” The tone was soft but the words were strong, gaze remaining level with her own, eyes searching her own as if the answer was written within them.

“I’ve been having dreams,” she blurted out, too flustered to be aware of her words and instantly regretting that they had come out. Her insides shrank as she squirmed under his gaze, shifting her weight.

He held steady, keeping his hand still tight on her wrist, not allowing her to move more than a breath away.

“What kind of dreams?” Nothing had changed in his voice, still controlled and level.

“I don’t know!” she snapped out, voice far louder than his own, “the embarrassing kind, okay? Are we done?” She twisted her wrist out of his own, somewhat surprised when he allowed her to. She was free, a part of her knew she should run right now and make her grand escape but a much larger part wanted to see what James would say, do, now that the truth was coming out.

She could practically see his wheels turning, mentally piecing together her words with her actions and the ramifications of it all. He was being too quiet, taking too long, and the words were boiling up in her now, desperate to fill the silence.

“They’re just dreams, okay? They don’t actually mean anything, it’s really not that big of a deal even,” she insisted, repeating the words she had spent the last several weeks telling herself out loud for the first time.

“If they don’t mean anything, why are you still blushing like that? And why would I be avoiding me? And what kind of dreams are the embarrassing ones exactly?” His brow was furrowed and a hand was rooted in his hair.

“They’re just stupid and random and unrealistic,” she spluttered, feeling the blush reach down to her toes.

“So tell me about one!” He demanded, “what happened in the most recent one? Did I kill you or something?”

“Oh please you don’t get it at all, you buffoon.” The embarrassment quickly was turning into rage and the words were pouring out.. “You didn’t kill me, you kissed me. Okay? More than kissed me really. You happy now?”

James was decidedly not happy. His expression turned only more incredulous with each passing second as her words took effect on him. His left hand dropped from her wrist to join his right firmly rooted in his hair, pulling and twisting.

She stared at him expectantly, waiting for a response, a realization, a reaction, anything. But instead he just stood there. Dumbfounded or disgusted or downright confused.

The seconds ticked by and her discomfort level rose as each one passed. The rage faded back to embarrassment and formed tears pricking at the back of her eyes, blinking furiously and squeezing her nails into her palms to try and stop any from leaking out.

“Are you going to say anything or just stand there ripping out your hair?”

He continued to stare, unmoving.

“Goodbye, James,” she spat out, crossing her arms tightly across her chest and pushing straight through him.

She heard him splutter something and got about six steps ahead before hearing his thundering steps behind her catching up to her. She pushed ahead until she felt his hand grip her shoulder and turn her around again

There was a scream on the tip of her tongue as she was pulled around to face him. “What, Jam-”

Her exclamations were silenced as he pushed his lips down onto hers. She hesitated for a moment in shock before throwing her arm around his neck and pulling him against her, leaning up on her tiptoes and responding enthusiastically. His hand from her shoulder pushed up to caress her cheek, other hand pressing hard and unforgiving into her hip.

“Was it like that?” The words were a whisper, hot against her face, barely a breath of space between them. “In your dream, was it like that?”

She barely nodded before pulling his lips back down to meet hers.

It was harsh and unyielding and not the kind of first kiss she had ever imagined for them but was certainly something taken right out of her dreams. She felt his hand tilting her head, adjusting their angle to fit perfect against each other as his tongue reached out to meet hers. Hot and heady and unbelievably perfect.

She didn’t notice them turning until her back was pushed up against the shelf. Corners and spines of the dusty volumes pressing up against her barely registering when there was so much of him to feel up against her. His scent surrounding her entirely, permeating the air around her until all she could think, smell, feel was just him.

He pulled back again, still barely a centimeter away and clearly reluctant to do so. “Wait, wait,” he heaved, “what exactly about a dream like that is ‘unrealistic’?”

She stammered unintelligibly for a moment, head filled with fog and fist curling tighter in the fabric of his shirt to anchor herself and him next to each other, “I just meant that we were friends now and you didn’t want to be…. you know.”

He cocked an eyebrow inquisitively, “enlighten me.”

“With me! Romantically speaking!” Her cheeks burned again, and eyes flitted down to where her hand was twisting his shirt.

Until she heard laughter. Actual laughter. One quick look at his face confirmed it, James Potter was actually laughing at her.

“Dear God, Evans,” he brought his hand to caress her cheek, thumb tracing her lower lip. “Evans, if I ever, and I mean ever, say I don’t want to be with you ‘romantically speaking’ you might as well Avada me right then and there because that is clearly an imposter.”

He didn’t give her a second to respond, crashing his lips back down onto hers.

And then he was snogging her again, harder. This instantly shut down her brain, eliminating the potential to analyze the implications of what he had just said because of course there would be time for analysis later but right now, in this moment, there was no time for that. There was no time for that because James Potter was snogging her in the depths of the library and it was so much better than any dream she’d ever had. She had no idea how long they’d stood there snogging, hands pulling hair and bruising skin and leaving her so utterly weak in the knees that she became vehemently grateful for the support of his arm around her back and the shelf she was leaning on. Minutes, hours, days, years, until she was so out of breath that she was practically sighing against his lips as they both slowed down, exhausted but so unwilling to separate, lips still brushing as they breathed in and out.

Her eyes remained closed and she pressed their heads together, lips no more than a centimeter apart.

“Hey Evans?” He sighed out, kissing her again chastely.

She hummed in response, rubbing her nose against his lightly and pushing up for one of those chaste kisses of her own, feeling his glasses press into her nose.

“Go out with me?”

[amphxtrite]

cedric diggory x fem!reader

part one: Never Let You Go. (smut)

warnings: mentions of smut (but not actually smut), swearing, spelling/ grammar mistakes.

summary: Life with Cedric leading up to your graduation is pretty normal, except for the fact you hide the fact that you’re dating. With amortentia, avoiding practice for cuddles and a graduation dance coming up, how long can this relationship stay a secret.

a/n: thank you to the wonderful @mullthingsoverinthehotwater for this idea and all the help! She’s amazing go check her out!!

word count: 3.4k

tag list:@cupidpoison @wonderful-writer @coldlilheart @inglourious-imagines @evisbored @mayaleon0614 @dogsandrocketsocks

enjoy <3

__________________________________________

Waking up in the arms of a lover is the most ethereal feeling you could imagine, a safe feeling, so comfortable and warm, even with the slight pain that poked at you when you tried to move your legs.

As you lay next to Cedric the sun rose through the clouds and casted an angelic glow on the hufflepuff’s sculpted face, it almost felt like you were in the presence of something divine, and just as mortals were in tales of of the gods, you were curious and wished to touch the miraculous boy before you. Tracing his jawline and pink lips a smile grows before he begins to stir and a light sigh rings as he awakes.

“Good morning love.” He yawns, his raspy morning voice bringing butterflies to your stomach. “What are you doing?” He smirks looking at your thumb tracing his cheek.

“Just admiring you darling.” You giggle leaning over to press a chaste kiss to the brunette’s lips. Cedric chuckles and pulls you closer against his chest, burying his face in your neck and sighing at your sweet scent.

“We should probably get you back to your room darling, we still have class today and I’d hate to make you late.” The gray-eyed boy smirks a bit, pressing a kiss to your nose before sitting upright on the bed. “Alright.” You yawn, rubbing your eyes to get the sleep out before standing and walking towards the door, pausing when a thought crosses your mind.

“H-Hey do you mind if we keep this between us for now?” You start, a little nervous. ”I don’t think I can take any gossip right now, and I can’t have the school knowing I’m shagging the dreamiest boy at Hogwarts, they’ll hate me!” You finish with a light laugh.

Cedric can’t help but chuckle at your cheeky comment, walking over to peck your cheek before whispering. “Of course love, whenever you’re ready.”

__________

Learning magic at Hogwarts was a dream come true for you; Charms and Transfiguration were marvellous and fascinating. Defence Against the Dark Arts and History of Magic were interesting and fun, but your favourite class, by far, was potions. Despite the potion master’s snide comments and constant eye rolls, brewing concoctions that had the properties to create and destroy was an amazing feeling. A potion has the ability to heal things even the most powerful charms cannot, they can change your form without the need to transfigure, and even break the fates to bring luck to anyone, and in that class you had the ability to do it all.

“Today, we will be brewing a very famous potion, and a very difficult one at that.” Professor Snape’s usual drone begins at the beginning of the lesson.

“Now since you are the NEWT class, I expect absolute perfection, I will write the instructions on the board and you can brew and figure out the identity of the potion with your partner. Begin.”

Excitement bubbles in you as you begin to jot down the information. You and your partner gather your supplies and begin to cut, mix and sprinkle your ingredients into the cauldron.

The distinct smell of wood combined with freshly cleaned laundry and fresh air soon floods your nose and it was as though you were on cloud nine, the scent brought a calmness to you, a safe feeling; the person connected to it was just on the tip of your tongue. A wood like aftershave, clean clothes that had swallowed you whole and the type of air only a seeker gets flying after a snitch.

Cedric peers over to you across the classroom to see you smiling at your cauldron, a dopey smile on your face. He cocks his eye brow in confusion, but as he adds the finishing touches to the bubbling liquid he immediately understands. He’s instantly transported to your arms, the scent of your intoxicating shampoo surrounding every inch of him along with chocolate and a hint of that strawberry chapstick he tasted on your lips while ravaging you in the shower. A blush immediately floods the hufflepuff’s cheeks, and suddenly his pants get a little tight.

“Mr. Diggory, since it’s quite… Obvious, you smell the amortentia. Tell us what your aroma is.”

Hoping Snape isn’t implying the tent in his pants, Cedric slaps on a small grin.

“Sweet shampoo, chocolate and strawberry chapstick sir.” He manages to nod, as Snape raises an eyebrow. “Intriguing. Miss l/n and Miss Macavoy, you were first to finish, what do you smell?”

Your partner, Heidi Macavoy’s face lights up. “Fresh parchment, Honeydukes, and broom polish.” Snape nods, looking over to you.

“I smell aftershave, clean laundry and fresh air sir.” Your eyebrows furrow for a moment when it finally hits you. There was only one person that fit that scent, in fact the only aftershave you’ve ever smelt. Cedric. Your smile widens.

The professor nods with a sigh, folding his arms and walking back to the blackboard to write. “Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. Now, I would like you to write a paper on the properties of amortentia and how each ingredient factors into giving the potion it’s unique qualities. The rest of class will be for finishing your potions and starting your writing...” Snape concludes the lesson.

__________

Months pass and everyday grows closer to your graduation. Your relationship with Cedric is kept quiet, but you manage to steal kisses in dark corridors and meet in the night. Oftentimes you spend evenings in the prefect’s shower, using the sound of running water to hide desperate moans and dirty actions, but it still gets hard to remember in public you’re only friends.

Cedric adores teasing you in public, running his hand up and down your thigh underneath the table and flirting insufferably with you everyday.

“Well hello there gorgeous, where are you off to today?” He’d tease every morning.

“Oh shut it Diggory.” You’d sigh as Cedric leaned closer to your ear.

“That’s quite hypocritical to the person screaming my name last night.”

Leaving you a flushed mess for the rest of the morning. Cedric respected your want to keep the relationship a secret, he knew he was popular as it is, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have fun with you. He loved it when you gave him the warning glare if he ever tried his luck in public, and the blush he left after teasing you brought a huge smirk to his face every time. And any chance he got, whether alone or in public, he loved to bring up your amortentia.

“Aftershave, laundry and fresh air huh?” He’d grin down to you, a playful look in his eyes. “Oh Merlin here we go again.” You’d sigh, readying yourself for the cheeky comments.

“Sounds like you smelled the dreamiest boy at Hogwarts!”

__________

The Winter snow took over the Autumn leaves and Hogwarts became a winter wonderland, sweaters were swapped with cloaks, runners became boots and scarfs covered the necks of each student in the school. Unless you were a quidditch player. The captains of each team were still determined to win the quidditch cup, and Cedric was no exception. Everyday was filled with drills, plays and scrimmages that left your muscles sore and your nose frozen from the winter cold. Cedric left no time to stare at the falling snow and each practice somehow left the team shivering and sweating all together.

You couldn’t blame each of the captains for wanting to earn the cup and lead their house to victory, but when Cedric went captain mode it seriously made it seem like you were going to be stuck by your goal post for the rest of the winter.

“Ced, it’s blizzarding outside.” You sigh as the brunette began pulling on his uniform.

“Can we please just take today off? We’ve trained everyday for the past 3 weeks!” Cedric seems to hesitate. “I-I know love, but-“

“Cedric, you know you’re overworking yourself, c’mon let’s just take today off alright?” You stick your bottom lips out in a pout and make grabby hands towards the tall hufflepuff.

“Alright love, because you asked so nicely.” He smirks and collapses back into your arms. He wouldn’t admit it, but you were right, his hands still ached from holding the broom too tight and Merlin were his feet cold. You smile before relaxing into your darling’s arms.

__________

As Winter shifted to spring, the subject of graduation became of the utmost importance.

“Graduating class! As you know at each graduation ceremony there is a ball and banquet. I expect proper behaviour, and represent hufflepuff well. It was a pleasure having you here with us.”

Professor Sprout’s speech comes to an end as the graduating students of hufflepuff cheered and applauded their head of house.

“Are we allowed to bring dates to the ball? A person not the fruit I mean.” Another student calls to Sprout as a couple kids laugh. “Of course! You can bring any of the graduating class, of any house, with you.” The short professor smiles and turns to chat with a girl.

Cedric immediately turns to find you in the crowd, smiling excitedly at you, only to see a worried expression on your face.

“Are you alright?” He asks, walking closer to check on you.

“Can we talk a sec?” You pull the Head boy by the arm to a deserted area, away from prying eyes and take a deep breath.

“Cedric, I really want to go to this ball with you, but I'm nervous about what people would think of me.” You begin cracking your knuckles in an anxious manner, biting on your lips as everything that could go wrong plagues your mind.

“Darling.” Cedric smiles and takes your hands into his. “Who cares what people say? I’d be honoured to have you by my side. If you’ll have me that is.” Cedric looks around for anyone before falling to his knee and kissing your hand. “Y/n, I absolutely adore you, and I could not care less what little minded people have to say. Accompany me to the ball?” The hufflepuff’s eyes fill with hope and love and you knew then, he was right. Cedric was your sunshine and no one could take him away from you.

“Yes Cedric! Yes I’ll go to the ball with you.”

__________

It was decided the two of you would show up together at the ball to ‘announce’ your relationship, but until then you’d stay on the down low.

It was hard seeing girl after girl walk up to Cedric with hope in their eyes only to be rejected in the nicest way possible. You were happy Cedric was yours, but some of these girls were gorgeous and sweet and it made you want to hide your face when they’d walk away dejected; although a small part of your brain jumped for joy when Cedric would discreetly look at you and wink after each confession. As each day grew warmer, so did your heart. Excitement flourished and each day held pure joy that you were one step closer to a future with Cedric.

__________

The Hogsmeade weekend before the graduation ceremony finally arrived and just like most of the graduates you rushed to find the perfect outfit before everything was gone. There were quite a few clothing shops at the village, but your favourite was the small shop towards the end of the street. A small business run by a mum and her family. You enter the shop and the smell of cinnamon and sugar greets you.

“Y/n!” Two little voices call out and two young girls make a beeline for you.

“How are my two little princesses?” You giggle, kneeling down to their level to wrap the small children in your arms.

Coming to the shop often helped you grow close to the family in charge, they were so kind and always had exactly what you were looking for.

“Where’s your mum kiddos?” You ask just as Melina, the owner and mum of the two girls, comes rushing towards you.

“Good to see you y/n dear, now you two run along while I help our little graduate.” She smiles at the girls who hug you one last time before running off to find something to play with.

“Looking for a dress i’m guessing?” Melina laughs and begins walking towards a shelf in the back. “You know me too well Mellie.” You smirk, trailing behind the brunette. Mellie brings her finger to her chin as she begins searching, her eyes full of concentration, shifting to success as she pulls a f/c gown from the rack.

“I knew this day was coming, so I made this dress especially for you.” She grins, holding the dress out to you.

Immediately you wrap your arms around her, and thank her like your life depended on it. This was by far one of the most thoughtful things someone had done for you, and it made you emotional. With small tears running down your face you pull back. “Thank you so much Mellie, it’s gorgeous.”

You giddily run for the change room and pull yourself into the gown. The f/c contrasts your skin beautifully and the shape accentuates your curves, bringing out a newfound confidence and you find yourself admiring yourself. Twirling, laughing and picturing yourself dancing with Cedric.

Despite her insisting it was a gift, you press the galleons for the full price into her hand, hugging her and the kids one last time before walking out of the store, dress in your arms. You stop at Honeydukes for a treat before making the trip back to the castle.

__________

Cedric wanted to make sure he was dressed appropriately for the ceremony, and his suit from last year just wasn’t going to cut it. He scourges every clothing shop in the Hogsmeade vicinity only to be met with empty shelves or nothing in his size. He’s about to give up and wear his old suit when a small shop catches his eye.

“Worth a shot.” He murmurs before pushing open the door. “Hello, I’m looking for a suit.” He greets the woman at the front.

“Oh you must be graduating as well. I’m Melina, please follow me.” She gives the brunette a warm, motherly smile before leading him to a rack.

“I just had a girl come in for her graduation outfit as well. Do you know y/n?”

Cedric let’s his smile shine through when your name is mentioned and turns to Melina.

“I do actually, I’m the lucky guy who gets to go to the ball with her.”

Melina’s eyes light up and she immediately rushes towards a suit towards the end of the aisle.

“Perfect, I had a lot of extra fabric when I made her dress, so I tailored a suit to go with it.” She rushes towards Cedric, pulling a tape measure from her apron pocket. Cedric raises his arms and allows the woman to take his measurements, an excited smile gracing his face.

“It’ll be a little tight in the chest, but other than that it’s a perfect fit!”

Melina quickly pushes Cedric into a change room and the brunette shrugs on the dress shirt and jacket before pulling on the pants and the cape-like overcoat. He nodded to himself in the mirror. This was perfect and he knew you’d love to see him in your favourite colour.

__________

The night of your graduation ceremony arrived and every seventh year was preparing themselves for the night ahead. Some were fretting over hair and makeup while others were content with just showing up and having fun. You were in your room with a couple of your friends, helping each other with outfits and makeup.

“Hold still Sebastian, I'm almost done with the eyeliner!” You scold the blonde as he fiddles with his fingers. “Sorry, sorry, I’m just ticklish.”

You smile and feel a tug on your scalp.

“Gently Heids, you’re gonna rip out my hair.”

Everyone began to laugh and slowly but surely you all got dressed and prepared for the long night ahead. You slowly make your way to the great hall, arms linked with your friends and laughs ringing from everyone. Once at the doors you split up in search of your dates. You spot Cedric’s mop of brown curls and quickly make you way closer to him.

“Nice suit.” You smile and turn back to your date, smiling at the colour choice and design.

“Thanks I got it from Melina.” He grins proudly, pulling a corsage from behind his back and clasping it around your wrist.

“No wonder we’re matching!” You laugh and move your wrist around admiring the flowers. Cedric smiles as he takes in your dress, thanking his lucky stars for whatever he did to deserve such an angel like you.

“Well, you ready milady?” Cedric grins offering his arm to you. “As I’ll ever be milord.”

You take in a deep breath and push open the doors to the hall.

Bright lights flood your vision and happy cheers sound in your ears, people laughing, dancing and drinking, and overall having a great time. Your face lights up and you begin to pull Cedric faster through the room. There were quite a few eyes staring in your direction. Emotions ranging from envy, sadness, disbelief and awe were all noticed when you stepped inside with the Hogwarts Champion, golden student and Head boy on your arm. You could hear whispers claiming you to be fake, an attention seeker or whore, and a frown begins to tug at your lips. Cedric takes notice and quickly wraps you into his arms gazing at you with love filled eyes as everyone else fades away. The anxiety and disappointment evaporates and soon it was just you and Cedric swaying in the middle of the dance floor. Many of your friends shoot you thumbs ups and congratulated the two of you, but all you could focus on was the gray eyes that pulled you into a trance. When the two of you glided across the hall you could’ve exploded with happiness, Cedric ignored even his best mates just to keep on dancing with you. His eyes were glued to you and only you as your face lit up and your eyes shone like stars. He was reminded of the Yule Ball from last year and how he awkwardly danced with you, trying not to look directly into your eyes in fear of getting lost and tripping up.

If his past self could see him now Cedric was sure his mouth would be agape with an unshakable grin. the brunette kept on pinching himself just to make sure you were really in his arms looking into his eyes as if he was your world. It got to the point he couldn’t help but pull you into him and dip you into a low kiss.

So much had happened in just a couple days. He’d won a quidditch game and your affection, he made love to you in a shower, cuddled you in his bed, and smelled you in his amortentia. And while all those things were amazing, he didn’t need one more hint you were the one for him. He had fallen in love with you, and when he looked to the future, the only one he could see by his side was you; In front of him when he knelt to propose, Beside him in a white dress and a veil, holding your children in your arms and growing gray and old with him. His silver eyes found themselves tearing up as he deepened the kiss and held you there in place. The sound of whooping and groaning drowned out, and you smiled into the sentimental kiss, cupping the hufflepuff’s cheek in your hand as you wiped away his tears.

“I love you y/n, so much.” Cedric murmurs against your lips, trying to hold back his tears as you stood so beautifully before him, drying his tears and smiling that perfect smile.

“I love you too Cedric, more than you’ll ever know.” you respond adoringly.

The ceremony began and every student cried in joy at the fact they were now graduates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

You held onto Cedric’s hand all night and as the party came to an end, you toasted to the night and all the bright days ahead.

With the newfound freedom to just be a couple, Cedric pulls you away from the dance early and with a laugh, leads you to his dorm and places you onto his bed. The rest of the evening was dedicated to your sinful thoughts and desires as lust broke free.

No one saw you for the rest of the night.

[imkylotrash]

Perfidy

Pairing: Saul Silva x reader

Request: Reader is in alliance with Beatrix and has been sent by Rosalind to get close to S to find out more about the teachers' plans. After a while, she feels guilty coz she really fell in love with him and confesses about betraying their relationship and sabotaging his plans. S stays mad at her for a while but he loves her too so he forgives her maybe and then fluffy floof? Anonymous And Saul and Reader who is on Rosalind’s side; a highly regarded soldier entrusted to be one of the guards of Saul where he is imprisoned. Over time there is some kind of connection or attraction there (not sure if mutual) which complicates things. It can be unresolved/left open or if you come up with an ending cool! Anonymous

A/N I did a little twist at the end, and I'm not really sure how well it worked 😬

Tagging: @grey-girl @intoanothermind @artsyle @baueoud @glowingatdawn @anreeixcobra @kingunder221b @lflores2008 @alexiapayne12 @quarterback-5 @estelmei @alice-the-nerd @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @shadowhuntyi

"Food." You place the tray on the floor backing out of the room to keep an eye on him. When the door closes, you take a deep breath that you didn't know you needed.

"That's all?" It's the first time you've seen him since Alfea. He looks horrible already. The Solarian prison is a tough place to survive. Part of you worries about him, but you push that in the back of your mind trying to crush any affection you might feel towards him. You can't like him - and he certainly doesn't like you.

"What do you mean?"

"You've got nothing else to say? After using me for information, making me believe that you lov-" Words fail the soldier as he looks at you through the glass that confines him. Of course, it isn't normal glass. It's been reinforced and manipulated to prevent cracking. It's the most secure prison in the whole of Solaria.

"I was doing my job." He throws the tray of food towards you but you don't flinch. It won't do any damage.

"That was a waste of food. Some people would kill for a meal like that."

"I feel like you're always running off to talk to Farah or Ben," you whine as he comes back from yet another long meeting. You want in on those meetings. You want to know what they're doing to keep the Burned Ones at bay. You want access to Dowling's office. You want it all, and you have to play this stupid game of pretending to be here just for Saul.

"Maybe you should just come next time then. I'm sure they'd appreciate your point of view," he says so casually that you almost drop the glass you're holding. It cannot be that easy. You've been seeing each other for three months and already, he seems to trust you.

"Really?" You could intel on Bloom to help Beatrix, you could find a way to break out Rosalind. It seems far too easy but he nods his head and as promised brings you with him for the next meeting. You're surprised by the guilt that lingers in the corners of your heart, as you walk back from the meeting hand in hand.

"I really liked seeing you involved tonight. It's nice bringing you and the rest of my world together," Saul admits a little sheepish.

"I appreciated you letting me be a part of it." The words roll off your tongue so easily it scares you a little. You squash the part of you that might hold any sort of feeling towards Saul and focus on the information you got tonight. Any day now, you'll be able to break out Rosalind.

"You think I care about food? I want to know what the hell is going on! What did you do to Sky?" Your fingers are itching to be run through his hair, but you also don't have a death wish at the moment so you stay on your side of the protective barrier.

"Sky is just fine. He's still at Alfea studying." This little piece of information seems to relax Saul slightly, but you can still see the betrayal in his eyes. He hates what you did to him, but you're not entirely convinced he actually hates you.

"I should've known you weren't being truthful. You never cared about anything other than yourself." You clench your jaw to keep yourself from admitting everything you've been ignoring for the past year but he sees the crack in your facade. He knows he hit a nerve, and he'll definitely be using that to his advantage later. There are no rules to how this game works anymore - something you're both very aware of.

"I'll let you get some sleep. I'll be back by dawn."

"Are you still awake?" You keep quiet hoping he'll believe that you're sleeping. You can't face him right now knowing that tomorrow he'll be given the title traitor and be escorted out of here in handcuffs. He's quick to undress and crawl under the covers. His warm body almost melts the ice you've tried to seal your heart with.

"I just wanted to let you know that I love you," he whispers unaware that you're awake. It's the first time he's said and even you can't ignore the butterflies in your stomach. As the amazing actor you have become, you pretend to slowly wake up.

"Hi baby," you whisper with a smile cuddling up to him. You don't say a word about what you just heard and he doesn't repeat it. But it hangs in the air between you.

"I'm sorry I woke up. Go back to sleep," he says kissing your forehead. How are you ever meant to go back to sleep after hearing that? Your entire body feels electrified to the point where you can't pretend you don't feel the same way about him. You want him even if goes against everything you believe in.

"I wasn't sleeping." He knows what your confession means.

You return precisely at 4:30am knowing this is the moment where the cameras reboot giving you just five minutes before they'll be back on. You're carrying a set of clothes and a backpack filled with provision.

"You ready?" You open the door handing him the clothes. The timer on your wristwatch lets you know that there are 3 minutes left before the cameras are on again.

"Ready." He keeps a hand on your shoulder to keep up with your pace. This time of the morning, all the guards are in the meeting room waiting for assignments for the day which is the perfect opportunity to slip past them unnoticed.

"Left," you whisper turning the corner with Saul right behind you. 1 minute. Fresh air hits your skin instantly calming you down. The hard part is over now.

"I wasn't sure if you were coming or not," Saul says slightly out of breath. He's still angry with you, but it's nothing like the way he looked at you back in his cell. When you told him to act enraged at you, you hadn't expected him to play the part so well. You're still doing your very best to keep all feelings towards Saul out of your mind. You're doing this to prove that you've had a change of heart. You know it'll be a long time before he'll fully trust you again.

"Of course I came." It's your way of saying those three words back to him, and he doesn't miss the intention. So much has changed between the two of you, but you know that you want to fix it. And this is the start.

"I wasn't sleeping." You want to tell him that you love him too, but there are other truths you'll have to admit before you can get to that part.

"I've been working with Rosalind. Bloom is going to free her," you say trying to remember the feeling of his skin pressed against yours. He pulls away looking ready to run alert the others but he sees something in your eyes that stops him.

"It's too late. Beatrix showed her the way to Rosalind." You know what comes next. He'll yell, throw something and then probably yell some more.

"Tomorrow, you'll be arrested and taken to a Solarian prison."

"Why are you telling me all of this? You could've gotten away with it." For such a brilliant man, he can be quite dense sometimes. You're well aware that the anger will come sooner or later after the confusion is cleared up, but you're using it to your advantage right now.

"Listen to me. This is going to happen no matter what. I thought I was on the right side of history, but the time I've spent here just proved me wrong." You try to take his hands in yours, but he pulls away. He's hurt, betrayed by the one person he thought he could count on.

"They're going to arrest you, and I will be assigned to guard you, which means I can break you out."

"Thank you. For helping me." It's the best he can offer you right now, and you'll happily take it. Anything that isn't pure hatred is a step in the right direction.

"I'm sorry it even came to this." You know you'll be given plenty of chances to prove your loyalty in the future as you take back Alfea, and you'll make use of all of them. This time, you know what you're fighting for, and he's standing right in front of you.

"Follow me?" You mean to say it as an order, but it comes out a question.

"Yes, ma'am."

[lunarastrobabe]

Rafe Adler x Sam Drake- Deja Vu

(Fluff/little angst)

The heavy summer rain poured outside, a few cracks of thunder rumbled through the cloudy sky with multiple bolts of lightning shining through the cracks in the black curtains. Sam stared at the alarm clock that sat on his bedside table, waiting anxiously for the numbers to change. “Shit.” He mumbled to himself, rubbing his tired eyes and sitting up, his bare chest covered in cuts and bruises, including the three bullet holes on his abdomen. Grabbing his worn brown v-neck t-shirt from the edge of the bed, he slid it on and picked up his phone, if he couldn’t sleep, then coffee was the only solution.

He dragged his sluggish body down the staircase, the beige carpeted floor feeling soft against his bare feet. His thumb scrolling through multiple text messages, mostly from Nate or Sullivan asking when he was coming to visit them again. He switched on the main light as he entered the kitchen, squinting his eyes at the stinging sensation. Sighing he grabbed a clean cup and setting it under the spout.

“C’mon you stupid machine,” He grumbled, pressing multiple buttons until it made a grinding noise. “Finally!” He said, a little bit of joy in his voice, taking it by the handle and bringing the mug to his lips. Noticing his packet of cigarettes and his silver lighter near the back door, he hesitated for a moment, as he had promised his brother he would give up smoking after they left the motel in Madagascar. ‘Well, one couldn’t hurt, right?’ He thought to himself. Shrugging, he pushed open the door to the back yard, the warm summer heat mixed with the earthy smell relaxed his mind. Leaning against the door frame, he took another gulp of the coffee and put the cigarette in between his lips.

The smell of his dirty prison cell, a snoring inmate in the other bed beside the wall. Stuck in this shit hole for thirteen years, he thought he would never get out, either alive or dead. The confused yet, ecstatic feeling when the guard let him out of his cell, saying somebody was here to bail him out. Nathan was the first person who came to mind. The hot sun beaming down on the prison, looking at this place the first time he arrived here in search for the treasure, he just knew it was a bad place to be in. Sweat and blood of the inmates that were imprisoned here, seeped through every room and wall he walked through, even in his own cell. Every night, he rarely slept, all he could hear was fighting, yelling, and sometimes even singing, and not just by the inmates. The guards would whistle as they patrolled the halls.

“Hello, Samuel.” Rafe said with a smirk on his face, placing a hand on his shoulder. Sam didn’t know what to think or feel, he was unsure as to whether this was a dream or not. Was it a dream? Was it reality?

Years later, he and Rafe had grown close, closer everyday, even when working with his irritating ass, Sam still saw the good in him. A few times they had nights together where Sam had made him his own. Nights where they would just hold each other for hours. Those moments he thought about everyday since Rafe’s death, he missed him, more so than he ever thought he would, even after the betrayal when Nate had found out the truth.

He smiled to himself remembering the past, but soon turned into a frown and lit the cigarette, taking a long, puff. He looked ahead of him, into the darkness, his eyes flickering from the little garden lights to the stars in the sky. Still, he felt alone, he felt as though his destiny was unfulfilled. He thought Avery’s Treasure was his true destiny.

Few minutes later, there was a knock on the door, Sam jumped a little at the sound, the half lit cigarette falling out of his mouth and onto the wet grass below. He groaned. “And that was my last one. Goddammit.” He said to himself. walked back inside, closing the door behind him and placed the mug in the sink. Running his fingers through his hair he made his way to the front door, grabbing his pistol that sat under the doormat. He leaned against the door before swinging it open, only to be unprepared for who was standing in front of him.

The flashbacks. The pain. The heartache. Sam knew that all too well. He hid it from everyone. He thought that finding Avery's treasure would make him feel, satisfied. Hoping it would fill that deep hole that plagued his heart. The survivors guilt he had dealt with every single day since their last encounter, he had never expected to see that particular face again standing in the middle of his living-room at three in the morning. All their history flashed before his eyes, he felt as though he was being crushed by thousands of bricks, just piling on top of him. In his mind, it was a hell he couldn’t escape from.

"Samuel." Rafe said, taking a step forward, pursing his lips slightly and looking at the ground before his eyes connected with Sam. His hair slicked back as it always was, every little strand perfectly sculpted into place, along with dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep.

The anger built up inside his chest, "You son of a-," Sam threw a fist at him, his beaten and bruised knuckles coming into contact with Rafe's jaw. The memory of nearly getting killed on that ship burned through his mind. His fists unclenched, feeling as though the physical contact calmed his anger. He sighed, watching the man hold his cheek in his hand, trying to ignore the searing pain.

"I thought you had died back on that goddamn ship!" He yelled, pained and bewildered. He glanced over at him as he rubbed his sore knuckles, so many questions circling his head, wondering how he escaped, noticing the scars from his recent wounds, and why he had suddenly come back. The stabbing feeling in his heart was unbearable. Rafe stared at him, his eyebrows relaxed and the guilt of abandoning him was overpowering.

“Samuel, I-,” But before he could explain, Sam cut him off.

“No you can’t be here, there’s no fucking way.” He tried to turn himself away and choke back the tears already forming in his eyes. He refused to be let down again, he didn’t want more heartbreak.

“Hey! Look at me,” The soothing tone in Rafe’s voice calmed him down. He relaxed, controlling his breathing. He took Sam’s face in his hands, caressing his cheek with his thumb. “It’s me. I’m here. I’m alive.” It took a few seconds longer to realise his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him and that he had emerged from the dead and back into his life. His eyebrows furrowed, looking at the man he had fell in love with, all those years ago. His chest tightened at his touch, the butterflies in his stomach returned after the prolonged absence.

They sat together on the couch, discussing for hours about the traumatic events that had occurred both apologising to each other for everything that had happened and all the lies that were told.

It was now seven thirty in the morning, feeling the sleep deprivation kicking in, Rafe laid down on his back and opened his arms for Sam, all he wanted to do was hold him and comfort him after being without him for so long.

“C’mere.” He whispered. Sam moved closer and wrapped his arms around Rafe’s waist, laying in between his legs, resting his head on his chest. He listened to his heartbeat, that thumping sound that he never forgot. He breathed in his scent and felt his heart strings being pulled.

“I missed you.” Rafe mumbled, pressing a light kiss to his head, running his fingers through his hair.

“I missed you too.” Sam replied. But there was one more thing he wanted to do. He sat up slightly, and looked into his eyes again. Nothing could compare to the connection they had together. Rafe’s fingertips ran up and down Sam’s side, he always had the most gentle touch when he was with him.

Sam leaned in slowly, his left hand holding Rafe’s cheek, their lips parting slightly before joining together, holding onto each other, worried that if they let go, they would disappear.

Although Sam felt like there was more to explore out in the world, he knew having Rafe back in his arms once again, could be the start of a new adventure.

[matthewtkachuk]

how to be a heartbreaker: rule two - rafe cameron

Rafe Cameron’s privileged upbringing has let him get away with far too much, for far too long. Between his tormenting of the pogues, running his mouth without consequence, and arrogant attitude, it’s time someone knocked him down a peg. Breaking his bones didn’t work, but maybe you can break his heart.

co-authored with my love, freya @rekrappeter

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader, unrequited!JJ x reader

warnings: angst, starting a relationship under false pretences, drinking and drug use

word count: 5.2k (sorry not sorry there’s a lot of plot here my dudes)

a/n: here’s rule two, let us now what you think!! low key we finished writing this badboy this morning (freya’s evening lol)

“Okay, that seems relatively easy…” you hummed, your elbows rested on your knees as you held onto every word JJ spoke. An underlying unsureness hung over your voice, and judging the expressions on Kiara and Pope’s face, you knew you weren’t alone in thinking that this wouldn’t work. John B backed everything that JJ said up with an example, somethings made sense but the majority of what they brought up was lightyears away from real life. They were living in their own fantasy world.

“And that’s just rule one,” JJ announced, causing you to cover a groan with a fake cough, “It’s almost the most important rule, you have to make a good impression. You need to be seductive, sexy-”

Kie interrupted JJ, “What’s the most important rule?”

“Rule number five,” he smirked.

If you weren’t confused beforehand, you definitely were now. “Which is?”

“We’ll get to that one later, be patient.” You huffed at JJ’s dismissal.

Pope stood up from the couch, stretching his arms above his head. “Are you actually going to take part in this?” His eyes were focused on you, ignoring JJ’s arguments.

You shrugged your shoulders, feeling the heavy stare of your friends on you. “What do I have to lose?” JJ praised you for your answer, earning a glare from Pope but that didn’t shut him up. “Pope, it’ll be exciting. It’ll be something for us all to do together and focus on.”

“We’re not the ones that are going to have to be alone with Rafe Cameron,” your friend muttered, you gave him a soft smile, appreciating how caring he was towards you. Despite always being associated with JJ and being his best friend, you and Pope had a relationship like none of the other pogues. He wasn’t just one of your closest friends, you would classify him as a ‘brother from another mother’. He cared immensely about you, and you cared for him just as much. You both pushed each other to thrive and be the best possible version of you, he had your back through thick and thin.

He was also the only one that knew about your hidden feelings towards JJ. He picked up on them one night, when you were giggling at a stupid joke the blonde had said and how the carefree and outgoing version of you disappeared when you noticed JJ getting intimate with some random girl later on that night. But he promised to keep it a secret, and so he did, he constantly supported you and let you rant and rave about it whenever you needed to. He was a breath of fresh air.

“Rafe Cameron never did anything to me personally, he leaves me alone when y’all aren’t with me,” you said, leaning back on the couch.

“Can we stop calling him Rafe Cameron? We only know one Rafe,” Kie chuckled, running her fingers through her tangled dark hair.

“Can we move on please? It’s getting late,” JJ informed the group, everyone’s attention leaving you and turning to the tall boy.

“You’d make a great teacher, JJ,” you hummed, your heart jumping at the smirk he sent you.

“Rule number two: have fun, but be the first to run.”

Three days pass by since you spoke to Rafe at the boneyard and if it weren’t for JJ pestering you every chance he got about it, you wouldn’t have noticed how many days went by. But your best friend was adamant on putting this plan into motion quickly, you tried to argue with him that you didn’t want to come across as desperate but he wouldn’t listen. The ending events of that night were history; you woke up the next morning and JJ acted like nothing happened, treating you how he usually would.

There was no point in arguing with him or holding a grudge, it was something you were used to at this stage in your friendship. JJ Maybank never did know how to express his feelings properly, unless it was with his fist. When you fought, he would mutter a quick apology and move on from it, never dwelling on the aftermath his words or actions made you feel. You pushed those feelings to the back of your mind, putting a smile on your face and moving on. It’s what you were best at.

A quick knock on the changing room door interrupted your thoughts, rolling your eyes as JJ opened the door anyways, not even waiting for you to answer. “Please tell me what’s the point in knocking?” you snapped playfully, buttoning up your white blouse, ignoring the flushed feeling you felt when his eyes lingered on your exposed breast.

JJ shrugged, throwing his bowtie at you and leaning against the wall, he waited patiently for you to finish getting ready. He was dressed similarly to you; your work outfits clashing except instead of the black, tight skirt you were wearing, his legs were covered with crinkled slacks. You were the one that managed to get JJ a job at the island club, your boss was reluctant to hire a known thief but you pleaded and begged, promising to keep him in line. So far, JJ has behaved himself, only missing one or two shifts.

When you finished getting ready, ensuring that your makeup was touched up and your hair was neat, you picked JJ’s bowtie off the floor and gestured to him to come over to you. You lifted it over his head, ignoring the butterflies that swarmed your stomach when he stepped into your personal space and placed his hands on your hips. “Tell me why I took this extra shift,” you cried, trying to separate your mind from your body.

JJ’s blue eyes scanned your face and you avoided looking into them, your focus solely on your fingers trying the material around his neck. “Because we need the money, plus you love working shifts with me.” JJ grinned exposing his slightly crooked teeth.

You pucker your lips, pretending to be deep in thought, “You’re right, I do need the money.”

JJ swatted your hands away from him, turning to look in the floor length mirror in the female changing room. You couldn’t help but look at your figures next to one another, you suited each other. JJ’s eyes connected with yours through the mirror, “I also peeked at the guest list, we’ll be able to work on the plan tonight.”

“Rafe will be here?” you asked.

“Rafe and his goons, so if I’m missing for more than ten minutes, come look for me.” He winked, running his fingers through his blonde locks to try tame it to some extent.

“JJ,” you sighed, reaching for his arm but he took a step back, out of your reach.

“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, but the smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes, “I’ll be fine, I can handle myself.”

“But it’s always three on one, and it never works in your benefit.”

This time JJ did smile, his blue eyes twinkling and he stepped closer to you, placing his hands on either of your shoulders. “But we have a secret weapon this time around, they’re not going to see this coming, y/n.” JJ referring to you as his secret weapon sent an unwanted chill through your skin, making you look away from his intense eyes. “Come on, let’s get the party started.”

Precariously balancing four whiskey neat on a flimsy tray while also balancing on your unsteady feet strapped into four inch heels was not an easy feat. It was even more difficult when coupled with the harassment you received as a pogue in kook territory. The only thing that kept the polite smile on your face as you suffered through backhanded compliment after backhanded compliment was the knowledge that a sweet payday was waiting for you at the end of the shift. You hated the Island Club and every stupid, perfect, spoiled person in it, but you made more in one shift than you did your other two jobs combined.

The spoiled Island Club member you hated the most though, hands down, was Rafe Cameron. Despite never targeting you personally, you couldn’t forgive the numerous times your boys had suffered at the hands of Rafe and his cronies. Unfortunately, you also found him attractive, discreetly staring at the way his golf shirt accentuated the muscles in his arms, and the way his tight pants accentuated his ass, every time you passed by. Some baser instinct within you had you considering what it would be like to squeeze his ass, and the distracting, intrusive thought made you miss the step leading to the greens. Your heart fell into your throat as you felt yourself lose your balance, your other hand rising to attempt to steady the tray but it was hopeless as you started to tumble to the ground. As you braced for impact, the tray was lifted from your arms and a steadying hand on your waist kept you from eating dirt.

Your heart pounding in your chest, you looked up to thank your rescuer, the words dying on your lips before you could utter them as Rafe Cameron himself stood there staring back at you. For a moment you were lost in his blue orbs, every intrusive thought you had washing over you until his mouth opened and he spoke, “You alright there?”

Staring at him for a moment longer, you blinked twice and shook your head in confirmation, “Yeah, thanks for that.” You smoothed down the front of your shirt, Rafe’s eyes following the movement of your hands, before you reached for your tray again, “Sorry, duty calls.”

As you went to move past him, heart pounding in your throat, he called out, “Wait,”. You spun around to stare at him, confusion in your eyes. He scanned the crowd for a split second, his eyes landing on your figure again. “Do you maybe want to get out of here?”

Scoffing, you roll your eyes, “I’m working Rafe, I can’t just ‘get out of here’. I really need this job.”

Rafe closed the gap between your bodies, leaving just inches keeping you apart. He reached for the tray in your grasp, taking it and turning his back to you. “Hey, you,” he called to someone dressed in the exact same clothes as you, “Take this to table number…” He glanced over his shoulder at you, waiting for you to finish his sentence.

“Five,” you mumbled, shrugging your shoulders and shooting an apologetic smile to your colleague.

“Perfect, now you’re free,” Rafe smirked, dismissing the girl.

“No, Rafe, now I’m not free. I have other tables to serve.”

Rafe exhaled loudly, his chest heaving, “Look, y/n, I know people, I can keep you out of trouble.”

“Yeah, and how do you propose to do that?”

Rafe sent you a cheeky grin, spreading his arms out wide as if he was going to hug you but his thumbs turned inwards, pointing to themselves, “I’m a Cameron.”

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you thought over his words. The Camerons did practically own the club, and the stupid outfit you were wearing was beginning to feel tight and uncomfortable. Not to mention, it was exactly the kind of opportunity that JJ had been hounding you to take in order to further the plan. Plus, the little voice in your head whispered, maybe taking off with Rafe would stir up some reaction from JJ, maybe the one you’ve been searching for.

Looking up at him, you shrugged with one shoulder and replied, “alright.”

“Alright?” He asked, a little shocked as he clearly expected to have to fight you a little harder. Truthfully, he wouldn’t have been able to convince you at all if it wasn’t for the plan. Despite your intrusive thoughts, and boy were they intrusive, you didn’t have a particular want or need to spend any time alone with the privileged kook.

“Alright,” you repeated, “What’s the plan?”

“Get out of that stupid waiter get up, and I’ll tell you,” he laughed, causing you to glare at him. He wasn’t wrong though, the outfit was stupid and you hated wearing it, but dresscode was dresscode. You quickly snuck back inside and changed back into your short little jean shorts and top, quickly running past JJ’s confused facial expression. You returned to Rafe, satisfied when you saw the way his eyes trailed your body taking in the change of clothes.

“Have you ever been to a driving range?” He smirked when you looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head.

“Do I look like the type of person who goes to a driving range?” You asked drily, causing his smirk to widen. He grabbed your hand and all but dragged you to another part of the club, where an out of use driving range sat.

“Are we going to get in trouble for using this?” You asked nervously, all thoughts of Camerons and bets aside you did actually need this job.

“Don’t you trust me?” He asked, rolling his eyes when you gave him a look that screamed ‘hell no’, “Okay well, trust me this once, we’re fine.”

Your eyes land on the golf bag with his initials embroidered on the front and you look at him confusedly, “Did you plan this?”

“Did I plan on sneaking away to use the driving range? Yes. Did I plan on you joining me? No, never in my wildest dreams would I think that you would be here right now with me.” He admits.

Remembering the bet, you smile flirtatiously at him and remark, “So you have wild dreams about me?”

His split second hesitation before rolling his eyes and telling you off has you wondering what role you played when you starred in his dreams. Gulping, you turn back toward him and clear your throat, “So we’re here to what exactly? Hit balls around all day, real fun.” you state sarcastically.

“You can go back to your shitty bowtie and silver tray if you want,” he offered back sassily, causing you to bite your lip. JJ would be pissed if you let this opportunity go to waste. But little did you know, JJ was going to be pissed either way

“Alright, let’s hit some balls I guess,” you replied back half-heartedly and motioning to the golf bag, “I don’t even know what each of these clubs are for,”

“Watch and learn,” Rafe smirked, running his hands through his perfectly slicked back hair, allowing for some hairs to become loose. He reached for the largest club in the bag, ripping the glove off and stepping up to the box. He placed a ball on the standing tee, doing his rituals before swinging and belting the ball nearly two hundred yards.

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” You asked, a single eyebrow raised.

“Here, you give it a go then,” Rafe replied, handing you the driver. You gladly accepted, an aura of confidence washing over you as you recited exactly what he did, he placed the ball on the tee for you and stepped back, allowing you to prep.

You felt his stare on your ass as you lined up the club to take a swing, causing you to pause your motions and glare at him over your shoulder. “Stop staring at my ass, Cameron.”

“Caught you staring at mine first, babe.” He smirked, and you felt the colour drain from your face at the knowledge that you got caught.

Swallowing nervously, you quipped back, “Yeah well I was just wondering why you bought your pants a size too small, thought they were going to split at the seams.”

He threw his head back and laughed, genuinely laughed, the sound booming around you. You couldn’t help but join in, soft giggles mixing with the timbre of his voice. As his laughter faded, he stared at you intensely, calling your bluff, “that’s not why you were staring, and we both know it.”

Coughing slightly to hide your reaction, you turned back toward the little ball on the tee and took a swing, missing by a long shot. “Shit, that’s harder than it looks,” you admit, having wrongly assumed golf to be a simple game of hitting balls with sticks.

Rafe chuckles shaking his head at your poor stature, and you suddenly feel a presence behind you, jumping slightly as his hands rest on your forearms. “Trick is to keep your eyes on the ball, okay?” he hums into your ear, the sensation running down your spine. You nod, swallowing back the lump in your throat, eyes focusing on the ball. He places his arms on your wrist, bringing your arms up, “now keep your front arm straight, tilt your wrist, like this,” he gestures the club up, “and then just swing, keep that arm straight,” he reminds you.

You glance over your shoulder, your orbs connecting with his blue ones that were glistening under the afternoon sun, you offer a small smile and feel yourself getting lost in them, “eyes on the ball,” he reminded you, smirking.

“Is this just a way to get close to my ass?” you retaliate, sucking in your bottom lip to hide the smirk that wanted to erupt on your face.

“This is just me helping a shit golfer,” he replied, stepping back and out of your swinging range. “Try again,” he urged you. He watched you take another shot, cringing when you miss it again. “Keep your eyes on the ball, front arm straight,” he repeated.

“Okay, okay, I got this,” you mumbled mostly to yourself but Rafe nodded at you, hyping you up silently. You focused on the little white ball, following the steps that Rafe told you before swinging the club and successfully hitting the ball, you watched it bounce along the grass about fifty yards in front of you. “Yes!” You cheered, grinning at Rafe.

Rafe placed another ball on the tee, urging you to go again and you did, each swing getting better and each time the ball went further. “But how come it isn’t coming off the ground like yours?” You pouted, leaning on the club and looking at him.

“Come back to me when you’ve been playing golf for ten years,” he smirked, taking the driver off you and replaced it with a five iron. You watched him hit ball after ball, and you wouldn’t admit it but you were impressed, especially at his back muscles that flexed with every shot he took. You made small talk in between the shots, filling the silences which surprisingly weren’t awkward, you expected them to be uncomfortable and that you’d be pulling blood out of a stone to find something in common but the conversation flowed easily.

It was your turn to take a swing again, and you decided you weren’t going to walk away from the driving range without hitting it at least one hundred yards. You reached for the driver again, stepping up to the tee with a face of determination. “See you, you are going through the air this time,” you muttered to the ball, Rafe had to bite on his bottom lip to stop from tumbling over with laughter. You grasped the handle tight, swinging the club with all the strength you had in you and the sound of the ball hitting the face of the club echoed around the empty driving range.

You watched open-mouthed as the ball soared across the air, pass the fifty marker, pass the one hundred marker and landed midway, bouncing until it halted just by the two hundred yard marker. You gasped, dropping the club, and tossing yourself into Rafe’s arms in your excitement. He grunted softly, clearly not expecting it, stumbling back slightly as his hands gripped your hips. “I did it!” you cheered, “I fuckin’ did it!”

Rafe doesn’t protest with having you in his arms, he matches your excitement but he notices the thrill vanish from your eyes as you scramble out of his grasp, “sorry about that,” you mumble, hiding the embarrassment.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he mumbles back, and you think you see a flash of disappointment behind his blue eyes but it’s gone as quick as it arrived.

“Uhm, anyway,” you wrack your brain for something to say to ease the awkwardness that had come between you for the first time that afternoon, an image of the chalkboard that JJ brought into the chateau living room crosses your mind, making you remember rule number two, “I better actually head back,” you mumbled.

“So soon?” Rafe can’t stop the words from slipping past his lips, and he cringes inwardly at sounding so desperate wanting you to stay. He doesn’t even know where this sudden interest for you came from, of course he knew who you were and he had spoken to you during some events, but he never paid little mind to you until last week. When he and Kelce were joking about drunk one night, you came up in conversation.

Kelce spoke vulgarly about you, painting pictures in Rafe’s mind and it was like after that night, he saw you everywhere he went. He paid more attention to you, he resisted the urge to go and talk to you in the street, and when he caught you staring at him at the boneyard, he made the decision to approach you. It wasn’t like him to turn to a pogue of all people, but there was something about you that drew him in.

“I had fun today, but like I’m sure you should be getting back to the event, your dad’s probably looking for you,” you said, leaning against the railing that separates the tee boxes.  

“Nah, as long as Sarah’s around, he doesn’t have a lot to do with me,” He pauses seeing your face fall the slightest bit, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno, like that,” he shrugs, running a hand through his hair again.

“Okay, sorry” you reply defensively, not sure what his problem is, “I won’t look at you at all then.”

He laughs at that, a smirk gracing his face once again, “Sure, I’d like to see you try. You can’t help but look.”

You scoff, “Oh yeah, I just can’t help myself. Oh my god, Rafe Cameron you’re sooo hot,”

“Relax, babe, you don’t have to throw yourself at me,” He laughed.

“Shut up!” You gasp, pushing yourself off the railing, stalking over to him and smacking his hard chest.

“Wait,” he muttered, grasping at your wrist, stopping you from stepping away from him. His tongue runs across his bottom lip and you hated yourself for allowing your eyes to follow the pink tip. You looked up to his eyes, watching the smirk flicker across his face. The rule flashes through your mind again, and you know you should be running, but... something about the look in his eye as he leans in has you locked in place waiting for his mouth to meet yours. His hand comes up to cup your face, and you suck in a breath, holding it as his thumb gently brushes under your eye before he pulls away from you entirely. “Eyelash,” he mutters quietly and you feel your heart reactivate again.

“R-right,” you stutter, moving to step back from him. Maybe this was a bad idea agreeing with this stupid plan that JJ and John B claimed they put so much thought into it, maybe they underestimated the effect that Rafe would have on you. You most definitely did.

Something else was still bothering you, though. “I have to ask,” you took in a deep breath, suddenly nervous of what you were asking, especially considering the fact that you were just about to let Rafe Cameron kiss you, “Why take an interest in me now?”

“Why have you suddenly taken an interest in me?” Rafe countered, causing you to gulp. “Two weeks ago you wouldn’t take a second glance at me.”

Glancing up at Rafe, you plastered a cunning smile on your lips and shrugged your shoulder, “I asked you first.”

“We’re not in kindergarten, y/n, those rules don’t apply here.”

“Who said I wasn’t taking a second glance when you weren’t looking.”

“I knew you liked my ass,”

You roll your eyes, “Well it’s not your humble personality. Now answer my question.”

“Thought it would piss Maybank off,” he shrugs nonchalantly, but you can tell he’s trying to appear that way. Besides, JJ isn’t even here right now and you tell him so. He just shrugs again.

“What don’t you want to tell me?” You asked, hoping you weren’t projecting your own nerves.

Rafe sucked in a deep breath, running his hand over his face as if he was trying to make you forget about everything, but when your eyes gave him a pointed look, he let all walls crash around him. “Honestly, y/n, I don’t know why. I-I just see you on the beach, you’re always laughing, always smiling, nothing ever seems to bother you and it’s what I need. I need someone to make me feel happy again, make me feel alive.”

You listened intently to his words, holding onto every gasp of breath he realised, the aching in your heart making your palms sweat. “A-and that person is me?” your voice was merely a whisper, your mouth gaping open at the honesty in Rafe Cameron’s voice.

“I don’t know if it is, but what I do know is that I had a good time today, and wouldn’t be opposed to doing it again,”

Your heart aches in your chest for someone you once considered an enemy. He wasn’t a friend now, but something had changed in the dynamic somewhere between him saving you from an embarrassing fall and showing you the right way to swing a golf club. You couldn’t help but think to yourself that Rafe Cameron might not actually be that bad, and you might have actually enjoyed yourself this afternoon. Against all odds, spending the afternoon ditching not only your shift and JJ in order to ‘hit balls around’ as you so eloquently put it earlier had been a lot more fun than you gave Rafe credit for.

Your nose scrunches up as you consider your thoughts, what is wrong with you? He is the enemy. One afternoon where he’s not being a complete dick and you forget the bruised and battered state of your best friends only a few days ago? The vulgar words that dripped so easily from his mouth like venom, where he had treated you like some possession to be won, all for the sake of getting a rise out of JJ?

Biting your lip and swallowing, you tell him briefly, “I have to go,” before fleeing back to the club. You hear him calling out to you from behind, but you keep your head down and make the trip back, trying to slip into the Club undetected.

“And where have you been?” JJ is standing on the other side of the door you’ve just successfully snuck through. You gasp, hand flying up to cover your now fast beating heart.

“Jesus, J. You scared the shit out of me,” you harshly whisper, “I was with Rafe working on your big plan.”

“You could have warned me, I had to cover for you!” JJ snapped. “Rafe said he would handle it,” you tell him.

Rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, he turns on you, “Oh Rafe said?”

“Yes, Rafe said,” you repeat, “What’s crawled up your ass, I’m working on your stupid plan.”

You couldn’t help but feel angry towards your best friend, and you weren’t sure if it was because he was getting annoyed with you or if it was what Rafe had disclosed to you previously, but there was definitely an underlying feeling of frustration.

“What’s crawled up my ass is you left me hanging, we’re meant to be in this together.”

“No, JJ, I’m the one doing it all. You came up with some rules, I’m the one that’s putting my feelings on the line,” you snapped, watching his face contort to confusion.

“Your feelings? What feelings?” He’s taken aback by your words, head jutting as if you had just slapped him across the face.

“You know what, it doesn’t even matter. I’ll keep playing this stupid game for you, but don’t come and attack me just because you had to wash a few extra dishes.” Frustration seeps from your voice, unsure of why exactly he’s coming at you sideways. This was his plan, and you’re just doing your part to make it happen. At least, that’s what you told yourself this afternoon with Rafe had been for.

“I-I wasn’t attacking you, y/n, I was worried about you,” his voice softened, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way his bottom lip jutted out, he knew you had a weakness for his puppy dog face. But with the simmering of frustration and anger growing within you, you wouldn’t back down right now.

“Well it didn’t feel like that.” You tell him harshly, hoping you’re properly conveying the swirling mix of negative emotions you’re currently experiencing.

Truthfully, JJ isn’t mad about washing a few extra dishes. He batted his eyelashes at your coworker who was more than happy to take on his dishwashing duties. He was mad that you weren’t keeping him in the loop, the two of you told each other everything. Well, everything except your feelings for him. He knew you found him attractive, and he honestly did love you with his whole heart. It just probably wasn’t the way you really wanted him to. JJ was mad because the girl he thought he had on lock, the one that would always be there waiting for him, just told him that her feelings were on the line for a plan to take down his most hated adversary.

JJ sighed, pushing away all his bravado and looking intently at you, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, I’m sorry I make you feel a lot of things, but please just keep me in the loop, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“JJ, I feel like we’re going around in circles at this point, and if I’m being honest, the only person hurting me right now is you,” you ignored the painful look on JJ’s face and continue, “Every evening you have to apologise for something, whether it’s something you say or something you do, we argue, we make up and then it happens again-”

“It’s not every evening,” you groan at his interruption, throwing your hands in the air.

“If you’re not ready to have a serious conversation, I’m not ready to continue speaking with you.” You tell him harshly and push past him, ignoring his weak attempts to get you to stop.

“Wait, you’re still coming over to John B’s tonight, right?” he asks, and you turn and glare at him over your shoulder.

Maybe Pope was right, this was a bad, bad idea and you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

Tag list:

htbah taglist (link to add yourself to the google form on the series masterlist!): 

@solllaris @drewswannabegirl @starrystarkey93 @httpstarkey @sweetlysilent @drewstarkey @dontjinx-it @ultranikilove @spencereidbasis @meaganjm @starlightstarkey @thortheestallion @jiaraendgame @idocarealot-not @tempestuousjj @pink-meringues @dpaccione @arianabrashierstuff @softstarkey @loveylangdon @xenagzb @teenwaywardasgardian @prejudic3 @nxsmss @canibeoneofthepogues @nqbmf @outerbanksbro @obx-direction-sos @digniteas @annedub @colorful-queen-of-the-roses @yesp0ny @loveniallandharryonedirection @fantasticpsychicfanfish @girls-breaking-hearts @beautyandthebleh @casper17 @parkershoco @unfortunatekiwitrash @loverofmineluke @slutforjjmaybank @skiesofthesketchy @sugarcoatedcalum @amorisxx​

(the rest of the taglist will be in a reblog to hopefully not piss tumblr off this time!!)

[sunflowerfycs]

“Shut up Blaise”

Summary: Blaise can’t stop playfully teasing Draco & Y/N, who have been dating for almost a year now. Blaise exposes some secrets that should not have been said in Slughorn’s class, which leads the couple to touch on the surface on a little secret of his own.

Pairing: Draco X Reader

Warning: SUPER Fluff. All the characters are soft. Bad writing: written at 2:00am. Comedy? Mild language? Idk. || “friend things”

A/N: Hello guys! I am a new writer here, and I’m sorry this is bad. I was feeling very soft and wrote this more comedy based? which I never do? bet here we are. I hope you enjoy! I’ll actually post a serious work later. Don’t worry :)

Don’t forget to give me request! I’m better if I have a prompt or an idea to work with <3

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———————— ♡ ————————

“Did you sleep well, love?” Draco asked with a husky morning voice that was slowly fading. He was leaning against the wall near the entrance of your common room, reading a book which soon snapped closed as he sensed your presence.

He moved his arms swiftly around your waist and pulled you close. He placed a kiss on top of your forehead and then put his head on your shoulder, burying himself deep in your neck. Touching him felt like home: two entities becoming one in the warmth of the love you both had for each other. The smell of cologne and fresh shampoo soon reached you nose, making you squeeze him tighter —— not wanting to let go.

“Yes, but I could’ve slept better with you next to me...” you said teasingly.

He pulled away, giving you a playful smirk, as he shook his head staring at the ground clearly flustered by your flirty antics.

“You are such a flirt, always all over meee,” he responded as grabbed your hand. He twirled you around giving you a playful spin and then interlocked his long fingers with yours.

“haha, I’m just saying ....” you continued as you raised and dropped your shoulders playfully.

You both slowly started walking to your Potions class. This was a peaceful time for the both of you. You and Draco talked about everything and anything: ranting about the golden trio, bringing up “existential-crisis” questions, being cheeky, and listening to each other’s worries and excitements. You and Draco shared all of this together. Sometimes, you even felt his mood even before you saw him, and acted accordingly depending on how he was feeling.

What you loved the most about this morning walk in particular is how Draco took his guard down and let his true emotions show. His smile so radiant, a genuine and pure smile that can instantly warm your heart and fill your belly with butterflies of love. Whenever he talked about something interesting or about a personal project he wanted to achieve, his light blue eyes would sparkle the way waves reflect the warm light of the sun in a nice summer day.

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“Well, well, well.... if it isn’t Mr. & Ms. Malfoy... when’s the wedding?” Blaise asked as soon as he saw you two walk through the door.

“Sorry to say this.... but you just...” Draco leaned in to whisper something to Blaise, putting his hand on his shoulder as if to say something important, “...aren’t invited” he completed his sentence. A smile soon creeping on his face.

“WhAT? Oh My GoSh Y/N? I mIghT JuSt...” he turned around looking at you pretending to be stabbed deeply in the heart. With his hands on his chest, he sat down, pretending to faint. He sat between you and Draco, which meant that you were never bored.

“Oh Blaise! Please don’t die! I don’t think Draco could live without you...” you played along.

Laughs filled the room as other students started to get ready for the class.

“Okay class, it’s time to settle down,” Mr. Slughorn entered the classroom surprisingly a little over a minute late.

Everyone took their seats and got ready for potions, you as well turned into you “game mode” face Draco said it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen and payed attention to the class.... or at least tried.

———————— ♡ ————————

“pssstt..... Y/N...” Blaise said putting his face on his desk, trying to find your gaze.

“What?” You whispered.

“How’s it like kissing Draco? wait, is he a moaning type of guy?” He smirked. you rolled your eyes and looked to see if Draco had heard his friend’s question, but he was still concentrated on the lesson.

“Mhmmm... YOU should know,” you retorted back.

His jaw dropped at you sassiness. He’s such a drama queen sometimes. Well, actually, all the time.

“You’re becoming sarcastic like your boyfriend! Maybe it’s because you make out with him so much,” Blaise responded, causing a slight blush to appear on your face.

He wasn’t wrong though...

“Oh Draco, please kiss me oh please Draco,” he moaned while making smooching sounds and grabbing his arms as if making out with himself.

Finally, Draco turned his head around at his friend, not impressed by his actions counting the million times he has teased you both like this.

‘So immature... yet it’s cute to see Y/N flustered’ Draco thought.

“Shut up Blaise...” Draco slightly pushed him from the other side in an attempt to shut him up.

“Draco... remember that time you were sleep talking?” Blaise snapped his head at him but then started to look between the two.

“Huh?” Draco inquired.

“I’ll do a reenactment...” he fake coughed a couple times as if to clear his voice.

“oh Y/N... you look so pretty in that dress please come here yes yes don’t stop” Blaise moaned but not being able to control his laughter.

You raised your eyebrows, finding Draco’s eyes already on you looking for a reaction.

you smirked...

“Wait, Blaise tell me more,” you tried to calm him down and slowly pulled him your way trying to make him face you.

“Once....” he looked as if he were to spill more information about his friend, but then swiftly turned his head at him.

“Y/N likes your butt,” Blaise blurted out which took your smirk and drew it in your boyfriend’s face.

Blaise then faced you again.

“Draco said he likes touching you boob-“ he didn’t get to finish his sentence as Draco grabbed his papers and smacked his friend’s face with them.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up?” Draco said maybe a little too loudly, as it caught Mr. Slughorn’s attention.

“Settle down class, no more talking”

———————— ♡ ————————

Blaise, Draco, and you were now walking to get some lunch. Even though it was already the middle of the day, and several classes passed, you were still petty about what Blaise did that morning in Mr. Slughorn and you could sense Draco was too.

Both of you exchanged glances, as Blaise kept on babbling about the many ways he was better than Cedric in Quidditch.

Oh it was on, you smiled at Draco that had placed his arm around your waist pulling you closer.

“Blaise, are you lonely?” this question catching him off guard.

“What do you mean?” He responded a little too defensively.

“You always tease me and Draco about being together, but maybe you tease us because you want a relationship yourself,” you said innocently.

There must be somebody WE can tease him about. There must be. Draco catching up with your thoughts continued your plan.

“Why are you so silent my friend is there anyone in mind?” Draco asked teasingly as he caught up to his friend and stepped in front of him causing him to stop in his tracks.

Blaise for the first time, ever, in history, didn’t know what to say.

“I- I- think I forgot something,” he quickly said blasting off back to the slytherin common room.

“You know what that means?” Draco said as he stepped closer to you grabbing both of your cold hands in his. Excitement filling the atmosphere.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him!” you said not fighting the urge to jump and swing both of your arms all around. Draco smiled at you fondly spinning around with you while holding hands, your beautiful hair dancing with you.

“We need to find who it is!” the mischievous spark in your eye made draco chuckle, putting his forehead on yours. Damn, his eyes were beautiful.

“When did my girl become such a trouble maker?”

“I learned from the best...” you responded wrapping your arms and pulling him to connect the space between you.

His lips were heavenly soft, your chapstick imprinting in his own lips. Time seemed to slow when you had moments like this, there was nothing that could separate you two. You moved your hands up, from his shoulders all the way to his nape, getting a hold of some strands of his light blondish hair, which caused draco to slowly release a pleasing sigh into your mouth.

You slowly pulled back, not that you wanted to, but because you were very hungry.

“Come on let’s go my prince,” letting Draco guide the way and get a little ahead so you could...

....

“Hey! Did you just smack my ass?”

“What can I say? Blaise may be a blabber mouth but he is certainly not a liar.”