#the third one is truly niche

[constelationprize]

My main takeaway from TSC now being the second trilogy is that I'm gonna spend the next two books waiting for Stuart to do his routine of showing up out of nowhere, being an absolute cunt for no reason, and then leaving at least one more time. Do I think it will happen? No, I didn't even expect it the first time. But a girl can dream.

[astaroth1357]

Flipping the Script: Leviathan Meet-Cute (Human World AU)

So what if you met the demon boys in the human world instead? You’re not magic. You’re not special. You’re an average little human that came crashing into some demons one day. Good luck!

Contents: Pretty new format for me, second person (you), forgive any wonkiness

Part One (You are here), Part Two, Part Three (Coming Soon...)

~♡♡♡~

You’re a hardcore otaku influencer with a niche in creating and sharing cosplay. You’ve befriended a lot of other enthusiasts pursuing your passions, but there was one guy that you met at a recent convention that stood out from all of the rest.

The Seven Lords was just having yet another milestone anniversary, so several friends in your circle all decided to get together and do a group cosplay for the fans, you all were even offered space for a panel and locations for meet-and-greets! Your whole fanbase was ecstatic, and so were you, but there was just one problem…

The friend that agreed to be your Third Lord backed out at the last minute! His baggage was totally lost on the flight there and suddenly your whole group was without a member to complete the set. Though you knew it wasn’t a huge deal, you hated to disappoint your fans who were looking for a full group photo-op…

But then you saw this guy waiting around your hotel lobby-

“I can't believe Wess had to cancel on us…!” You thought to yourself while tapping your foot furiously against the hotel's linoleum floor. You were waiting for check-in last night when your collaborator sent his text to everyone, and your team still hadn’t found a suitable replacement… How could you guys have a TSL photo event without a Lord of Shadows?? Especially when you're the one dressed as Henry! What self-respecting group TSL cosplay doesn’t have those two together?? They're the closest pair in the show! The Sun and Shadow shippers were going to start a riot…

You were all still double-checking your gear and supplies down in the lobby. Months of work had gone into planning and prepping for this event… Your friends were trying to calm you down as best as they could, but your nerves weren’t on your side… You hated letting down your fans, even if it was entirely out of your control. But without a replacement, what exactly could you do? Just as you were about to throw in the towel and get dressed, a bunch of shouting from the hallway entrance caught your attention.

“Why the hell am I stuck carryin’ all your crap, huh Levi?! Ya got two working hands!”

“Because this outfit is heavy, Mam-er-Malcom! I need help, or else I'll get sweaty and gross!”

“You're already gross, so what's it matter?”

“Shut up, scumbag!!”

'Yeesh, what a loud pair...' You turned to look their way with a visible frown to show your annoyance only for your jaw hit the floor. Two men walked out of the hall and into the lobby, one being a dark-skinned male with the whitest hair you'd ever seen, and the other… Sweet kami-sama above, the other guy…!!

He. Was. Perfect!! The dark, shadowy armor, constructed fron what you could only guess was EVA foam and faux furs, combined with his violet hair made him look like the spitting image of the Third Lord! It was almost like the character himself had climbed off the page!! You had to cover your mouth to contain an audible gasp of shock while glancing at the others in your team. Only a few of your friends had noticed the man's arrival, but those who had all shot you back the same kind of look, “Go get that guy. NOW!” Who were you to refuse?

The god-tier Third Lord cosplayer was still arguing with his companion when you first made your approach, allowing you to sneak up pretty close without getting noticed. By the time you were in speaking distance, you were already marveling at the craftsmanship of his cosplay up close. The foam pieces looked flawlessly metallic and there were no patches of hot glue mishaps, frayed stitching, or painting mistakes. It was truly something else!

“Hey, what'cha gawkin’ at??”

The white-haired male caught you red-handed, leading the cosplayer in his company to turn in your direction. Though, amusingly, the moment your eyes met he seemed just as star struck as you were. You wasted no time thrusting your hand out towards him with your most “camera-winning” smile.

“Hi! Uhm, I’m Y/n L/n and I'm-"

“-the most popular cosplay model on Instagram, three-time champion of the WCS competitions, and the host of the ‘TSL Today’ fan podcast-!”

You froze from surprise as the cosplayer slapped his mouth shut with his own hand in a bid to stop rambling. His cheeks instantly tinged pink as he must have realized that he was spitting your own resume at you in excitement. It was hard not to feel a bit flattered at the sudden eruption of joy, so you smiled back more genuinely.

“That’s right! You've heard of me?”

You waited for his response with a patient, maybe even endeared, gaze. Seeing that you weren’t immediately weirded out by his hyped babbling, he uncovered his mouth to respond shyly.

“Y-yeah, of course I do…! I uh… came here to see your meet-and-greet today…”

He winced, face getting hotter, and looked like he wanted to double over from embarrassment, but honestly, you couldn’t have been happier. A creator of THIS caliber was one of YOUR fans?? Talk about a “diamond in the rough” moment!

“Really? That’s awesome!! Because I couldn’t help but notice that cosplay you're wearing… Did you make it yourself?”

How his face recalibrated from flustered to ecstatic in just a few seconds could have made your heart melt. After he confirmed that his cosplay was his own handiwork you began to gush about the design, asking rapid-fire questions about the materials he bought, what patterns he found, and his different sewing techniques. You both were so caught up in each other's passion that you hardly even registered the other guy standing next to him until he finally cleared his throat insistently.

“Yo Levi… This crap’s gettin’ heavy. Are we going or what?”

The cosplayer, who you guessed was Levi, turned to the man reluctantly, which sent a surge of panic through you as you still hadn’t asked him to stay.

“Wait!!”

Both men flinched a bit at your sudden exclamation, making your cheeks flush with color, but you pressed on regardless,

“Um, Levi right? My team and I could use your help… Our Third Lord just dropped out on us today because of baggage troubles and we really need a replacement for the shoot. Your outfit is fantastic! Do you think that you could step into the role for us? I have early access badges to the vendors room, so we can take a look together if that uh… if that…? Um. Levi...?”

The man in front of you looked like he was moments away from breaking down in tears, but somehow holding them back through sheer force of will… and his closed eyelids making a decent dam.

“H-hold on… I think I need to pinch myself because this can’t be happening. Is this actually happening?”

His voice wobbled while the man next to him, Malcolm(?), rolled his eyes behind his gold-tinted glasses.

“Hey, that doesn’t answer their questions, ya know?” He elbowed Levi while looking at you with a serious expression, “Are ya willin’ to take him AND his stuff with ya?”

“Of course! It’s important to have everything while yo-”

“Great. You can have’em.”

You were taken aback just a bit by the speed of his response, but not as much as Levi because he quickly leapt back into the conscious world in a panic!

“Wha-wh-Whaah?? You can’t just answer for me!!”

Malcolm shrugged his shoulders, letting several bags he had on slide to the ground but cushioning the fall a bit with his foot.

“Why not? It’s clear ya wanna go with them. Unless you wanna leave them hangin'…”

“N-No!! I mean, yes! No-er UGH!”

You watched Levi cover his face in frustration feeling a twinge of sympathy. Does he get tongue-tied like this often? After a few seconds to compose himself, he finally straightened up to give his true response.

“Y-yes, I want to go with you…! Being able to help one of your online idols is like a dream come true for any fan! What can I do to help?”

You could feel your smile grow twice as wide from the combination of relief and gratitude. Maybe the shoot would go alright after all…

“Give me your hand.”

Levi stuttered watching you reach your hand out towards his, using your other one to pull out a black marker that you always kept on your person for fans. His skin was soft, but strangely cold, when he rested his knuckles into your upturned palm. The icy jolt even made you jump a bit. Holy crap, was he cold-blooded or something?? When he flashed you a concerned glance, you quickly recovered uncapped the marker between your fingers. With years of built up practice, you ran the black ink over his pale skin, but instead of a signature, you left one of your burner numbers that you used for interacting with collaborators.

“Here. We still need a bit of time to get ready, but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the con. Text me your name and I'll send you back where to meet up once we're ready to go.”

Levi was staring at the black marks on his hand like you'd just handed him a key item in a video game when one of your team shouted back from behind you.

“Y/n! Why aren’t you dressed yet?? We gotta go!”

“Shit, I’m coming!” You turned to head back, but you spared just a second to smile at Levi over your shoulder. “Thank you so much, Levi, you're going to be a huge help! Don't forget to text.”

“I won’t!”

Levi's promise made you grin lift even higher. With a wink and a wave, you made your way back to the others with a brand new pep in your step. Mission, saved!!

Meanwhile…

“… Did ya seriously just score a number in that getup?”

“I swear, I’ll never wash this hand again...!!”

“Fuck's sake, Levi, stop being so gross! At least put it in your phone before your sweaty palms wipe it off!”

“Gah, you're right!!”

[writingquestionsanswered]

I've got young kids, work full time, went back to school to get my degree and my spouse is also in a degree program. Finding the time to write feels impossible. There's no way I can write daily.

I feel like maybe my dream to be an author is out of reach. When should you really ask yourself if you truly want to be an author? Forget an author.. do you really want to be a writer? 

Author Dream Feels Out of Reach

You've come to the right place. ♥

First, I want to tell you that what you're feeling right now is totally normal. So, so many of us go through it. I promise you're in good company.

Second, I submit that this isn't really about whether or not you want to be a writer/author. You wouldn't be here if some part of you didn't want to be a writer/author... you wouldn't be reaching for a dream you didn't have...

Third, I further submit that rather than questioning your intentions, you may just need to consider what you want to get out of writing, what your goals would be as an author, and then create realistic goals to help you get there. That's where I come in...

1 - I'm here to tell you that you don't have to write every day. I spent a long, long, embarrassingly long time parroting back the traditional "advice" that one must write every single day in order to be a successful writer and reach your author dreams. Head, meet desk! In the intervening years, I've learned that writing every day simply isn't realistic for the vast majority of people. Why? Because we're not all independently wealthy bachelors who retired in our 40s, who spend our days fishing and our evenings partying with our eccentric creative friends, and then burning the midnight oil on our latest manuscript while we sip brandy and puff on a fine cigar. If only! (minus the cigar part... yuck...) Instead, we're members of family units, friend groups, and communities. We're parents and grandparents and guardians and caregivers. We're students, we have jobs and roles and responsibilities. We're anxious, tired, and stretched so unbelievably thin. The world is falling down around us. And it's... a lot...

2 - But... that's why we write... ALL OF THAT, I say, gesturing broadly at everything, is why we write. We write to tell the stories of the eccentric brandy-sipping writers, the stressed-out-stretched-thin-parents, the overworked-and-underpaid teachers, the exhausted caregivers who feel their dreams slipping between their fingers, and still hopeful dreamers who cling to the stars with the dust of the crumbling world in their eyes. We write to tell their stories, and we write to give them stories. We write because the world needs our stories. ALL of them. The good, the bad, the clean, the spicy, the angsty, the swoony, the cringey, the comforting, the excessively long, the absurdly short, the plainly written, the purple prosey... all of it matters. All of it serves a purpose.

3 - So, why did you start writing in the first place? You don't have to answer this for me, just for yourself... many of us would answer by saying things like, "because I have story ideas that demand to be written," or "because it's something I do for fun and escape, it's self-care," or "because I love to explore human stories." Getting to the heart of why you write, outside of any goals or future plans, can help ground you in the storm.

4 - What are your author goals? Now, if time, energy, and other considerations were no object... if you could spend as much time writing as you wanted and there were no obstacles to any author goal you had, and no limit to achieving your dreams, what would your author goals be? Do you want to share your stories on Wattpad or a similar platform? If so, do you have any goals related to views/reads/comments, and how often you hope to post a new story? If you want to pursue traditional publishing, are you happy being reasonably popular within your niche, or do you want to be a big time best-seller with your books made into movies? If you want to be an indie author, is there a certain number of books you want to get out each year? Is there a certain number of sales you want to hit for each book? A certain income level you want to aim for? Figuring out exactly what your goals are is important if you want to map a reasonable path toward getting there.

5 - What's a reasonable path to get there? Imagine "reasonable" lit up with lights here, because it's so, so important. Really, the biggest reason writers get overwhelmed and give up is because we have unreasonable expectations and are trying to meet arbitrary goals that sound great, but are just not possible to meet. If you can only muster maybe three hours to write on a good week, and you can write 26 words a minute on a good writing session, if your goal is to write 10,000 words per week, guess what... that's more than TWICE the number of words it's even possible for you to write in a good week, so you're going to fall far, far short most weeks. It's an unrealistic goal.

If you're averaging roughly 11,000 words per month and your goal is to write a novel in six months and have it revised, edited, and published (or revised, edited, and sent off with queries), guess what... your manuscript is sitting at 66,000 words at the six month mark without a single second for revision, editing, or anything else. Once again, it's an unrealistic goal.

One of the best ways to figure out a realistic goal is to take an honest look at your schedule. My favorite way to do this is by the month, using a calendar I can write on. Now, I'll go through and cross out all the days I know I won't be able to write... like, maybe I never write on Sundays because they're too busy, so I cross those off. Maybe I'm going on vacation for four days mid-month, and I know I won't write the day before or after, so I cross those six days off, too. My days tend to fall apart if I have an appointment or other unusual event, so I will usually block off those days as well. Finally, I know I will probably lose at least three days a month to not feeling well or having to attend to a family member who isn't feeling well, and another three days to run-of-the-mill nonsense, so I'll cross off the last six days in the calendar. What I'm left with is a reasonable estimate for the number of days I'll be able to write that month.

Now, let's say I'm left with 17 potential writing days. And let's say I'm fairly certain I'll be able to commit about twenty to thirty minutes to writing on each of those days. And... let's say I know I generally write about 26 words per minute during the average writing session. Twenty minutes across 17 days is 340 total minutes, times 26 wpm, nets me about 8,840 words for the month... and that's not frickin' bad! In fact, at that rate you could potentially have a first draft done in six to eight months! And that's in just twenty minutes a day three or four times a week.

It isn't about time spent, it's about setting reasonable goals.

If you create reasonable goals that you can actually meet, you start building forward momentum. You're not exhausted from fighting with your schedule and failing to squeeze writing in on days when it isn't possible. You're not beaten down from disappointing yourself over and over again. You're actually getting somewhere, and you're excited about it!

So, that's it. Before you get all philosophical about whether or not you really want to be an author or want to be a writer... before you start tossing your dreams out the window or feeling like your dreams are out of reach, try this. Be realistic. Be patient with yourself. Take support where you can get it. And don't be afraid to fiercely guard whatever writing time you do have.

I'm here for support, and there a million wonderful writing communities out there filled with other supportive writers if you have some time to look for them and spend some time getting to know them.

All the best! You've got this... TRULY! ♥

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[erisweekofficial]

We're thrilled to shine a light on @zenkindoflove!!! Amanda is an absolute gem in the Elucien fandom AND Eris fandom and has also blessed us with Alexius, her incredible OC for her Eris x OC fics.

Alexius stands out as one of the few male OCs in the community, and the dynamic between him and Eris is nothing short of captivating. Think forced proximity, delicious yearning, witty banter, political intrigue, and all the tension you could dream of. You can see them in both Summer Heat (which has Elucien) and Pull Me in Deeper, which... y'all you gotta read this asap😍🤭🥵 Also the mods are begging you to read Taste of You, a short and delightfully smutty one shot.

And PLEASE admire this amazing art of Alexius and Eris!

Read more to learn about how @zenkindoflove was inspired to create content about Eris AND her extremely helpful tips for writing content about him. (We're taking notes)

What inspired you to start creating content about Eris?  I became curious about writing Eris after he was featured in some of my Elucien fics. When I started my multichapter Elucien fic Summer Heat, I decided that I would give him a male love interest in that fic and create an OC - which ended up being Alexius who you see featured in all of my Eris work. I originally intended for it to be a background relationship, but I decided to experiment and write the scene of their first meeting (a very smutty scene) just to do some character exploration. I didn’t intend to include it in the fic, but then once I wrote it, I knew that it was something special and Eris x Alexius became a true B storyline in that fic with a fully fleshed out love story. After that, I wanted to expand and write fics that focused on them which I've written several now and more to come for Eris Week! It's a bit niche. Hardly anyone writes Eris x Male OC but I'm obsessed now.

What's your favorite piece you've created featuring Eris and why? 

That would be my Eris x Alexius multichapter fic - Pull Me in Deeper. I love it because it was a way for me to explore Eris’ character when he is out of the watchful eye of his father and others in Prythian. It’s also just a fun action/adventure/romance story and I got to explore more lore and character building for my OC Alexius as well. Alexius was designed to be, in my opinion, the perfect person for Eris and that means often standing in contrast to a lot of his personality traits and pushing him outside of his comfort zone. So it was an incredibly fun dynamic to explore. And it’s two gay men who are on a quest to find out (*spoilers*) if unicorns exist XD.

How do you approach writing dialogue for Eris? 

I tend to lean into Eris being more careful with his words - so he is sharp, concise, and efficient in his word choice. Depending on who he’s sharing a scene with and the context, he can be severe and short or he can be long-winded and eloquent. And of course, he has banter and jabs a plenty. So I try to balance all those sides of him depending on the context.

Do you have any advice for other creators wanting to make Eris content? 

Eris inhabits a unique space in canon where he is truly a free agent when it comes to relationships. So, I would recommend if you want to write romances with Eris to lean into self-indulgence and write the pairing/story you really want to tell and try to let go of what you think will be popular. And if that ends up being Eris x OC rather than a canon character, know that it can actually be such a rewarding experience even if you don’t have a built in audience. Creating an OC to pair with Eris has been immensely fun and has broadened my creativity. Eris is a complex, interesting character with so many layers and building someone to fit him and find out what is underneath all of those layers can lead you down quite an obsessive path. But a fun one. 

Please give us a name for one of Eris’s Brothers

Kian. He is the third oldest and is more of a scholarly type. Now that second brother Conan is dead, he is next in line after Eris.

Please give us a name for one of Eris's Dogs.

Lithia. She just had puppies in PMID and Eris is worried about her. 

[wormteeth2004]

Three artworks that reminded me of House of Leaves:

(post is long so i wont subject you to it if you don't care)

1: Round Trip (A Space to Fall Back On) by Vito Acconci (1975)

"For this work, Acconci created a niche that he described as "in the middle of (and, by its nature, somewhat apart from) the gallery." A vacant stool invites the viewer to sit across from a podium. The artist's voice and other sounds emanate from the podium, then move around the space via hidden speakers. The piece reflects Acconci's interest in creating disorienting and uncomfortable experiences for viewers, inviting them to question the nature of artmaking and their role as visitors in the gallery space."

I saw the disruption of furniture and immediately thought of the novel. Any piece that takes something related to a home in any way and makes it unsettling automatically has me draw that connection. The inky blackness of the two walls helped of course. What you would have to witness yourself is the sounds coming from the aforementioned speakers (in the description). All I could think about was how that must have been exactly how it felt to be inside of the house hearing the faint echoes and knocks of the explorers within the depths of the five and a half minute hallway. It was truly like I was Karen herself, waiting at the base camp. I urge you to look up a video of this piece, but if there is none online, dm me for it.

2: Acton by James Turrell (1976)

(all the photos online were too bright. my own photo is the only one that really does this space justice, even if it turned out a bit blurry)

"Acton is one of Turrell's earliest installations -- in this work, a rectangular removal in the wall of a darkened room opens up into a larger space of indeterminate size. Due to Turrell's careful manipulation of light and architecture, the opening in the wall appears to the eye as a flat, impenetrable surface, much like an abstract painting."

This is THE House of Leaves art piece. When I walked into this room I was honestly scared. My mom refused to enter because she thought something was going to jump out at her. My dad had read the plaque but I hadn't so he kept telling me to get closer and put my head in when I was under the impression that this was a flat, black painting on the wall. Sticking my head in made me feel pure dread, and I could not shake the feeling that that must have been exactly how it felt to discover the neverending horror of the five and a half minute hallway. You could not see anything inside, but you knew it continued on. Horrifying.

3: Chambers of the Shell by Philip Hanson (1977)

"In the mid-1970s Hanson bucked the Imagist tendency to make small canvases by lushing the scale. Instead of making larger images, he made these works into composites, as in Chambers of the Shell, which is in essense eleven smaller paintings in one. These antechambers are sensual architectural orifices of myriad shape, texture, and color, with a prominent conch and oyster form that extends his practice of image transformation, a Surrealist technique in which one picture is turned into another one and in the process a third image is discovered."

This one might seem like a bit of a stretch. It's colorful, it has organic shapes, it almost looks natural. But something about a series of passageways/doorways encircling one larger image of a staircase brought to mind the Great Hall. As if perhaps this is the Great Hall's whimsical, colorful, and more forgiving sibling. Of course you can still become hopelessly trapped in something that's beautiful. I don't know. Why don't you tell me how you feel about it.

[grandeoatmilklatte]

Until You Scream 👻 - Ghostface Garreth AU

Another fine Weasley Wednesday! This week's theme was AU (Alternate Universe) and for this week I decided to combine my love of HL and my love of horror to create this ridiculousness. I know this is super niche, and won't be for everyone, but even if you're not a horror fan, I hope you can still enjoy this one. and if you are both a horror fan and a HL fan, let's be friends!

Quick shout out to @shepardcommander for her delicious GF!Garreth bot that inspired this! 🖤

Ghostface Garreth Weasley x Female 2nd person reader - Summary: Your boyfriend Garreth has been been acting strange lately, and you're convinced he's cheating on you. You decide to confront him about it, but get more than you bargained for. 3k words

Warnings: Smut, mentions of viol3nc3 and murd3r, it's Ghostface, so yeah. Characters are 18+, college students, and it's an AU, so not in the HL universe. Do not engage if you are under 18!!!

--------------

It was the third time this month that Garreth had done this, and you were fed up. You were officially convinced your boyfriend of three years was cheating on you. You sat on the couch of the apartment you shared with Garreth, crying into a glass of wine while your best friend, Poppy, tried to console you. 

“It’s definitely weird of him, but I don’t think he’s cheating on you! He can’t be! It’s Garreth of all people! He’s the nicest guy on earth and he adores you.” Poppy rubbed your shoulder reassuringly. 

“Then how do you explain it?!” You shouted between sobs. “He says he’s hanging out with Leander, which sounds normal, but then his phone is always off, he comes home super late after I’ve already gone to bed, and the second he walks in the door, literally the second he walks in, he goes straight into the bathroom to shower. Won’t even say hello to me until after he’s had his shower. He won’t tell me where they went or what they did, he just says they were out and he drops the subject immediately. I’m telling you, he’s cheating on me, and he’s coming home and washing the other girl off of him before he gets into bed with me!” You take a large sip of wine before continuing. 

“Speaking of which, he’s been different in bed too. He’s been a lot rougher lately. Not that I mind, but he was never like that before; spanking me, pulling my hair, calling me his ‘naughty little girl’. I love it, but I can’t help but wonder if he’s like this now because of this new girl. And I’ve tried to corner Leander about it, but he won’t give up his best friend, so he just tells me they were at a bar. Swears it, but yet he can’t even tell me what the name of the bar was!” You downed the small remainder of your wine, reaching across the coffee table to pour your second glass.

“You said he always manages to come home when you’re asleep and slips right into the shower, right? Well, try to catch him before he goes into the shower. Maybe confront him as soon as he gets in, and if he seems like he was with another girl, then you have your answer.” Poppy suggested.

Poppy was right, by the time you heard him come home and went out to meet him, he was already locked in the bathroom. But what if you stayed up and waited for him, confronting him in front of the bathroom when he arrived home. You didn’t want to believe it was true. You loved him, you were building a future with him. You knew it would break you if he really was cheating, but what else could it be? What else could Garreth be so secretive about? 

------------------

It was 8pm when Garreth came home from work. Everything seemed normal when he walked in. He greeted you in the same cheery voice he always did, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you softly and sweetly. You reciprocated, partly because you didn’t want him to become suspicious of you, but mostly because you truly wanted to kiss him. Poppy’s voice went off in your head as you deepened the kiss. “I don’t think he’s cheating” and “he adores you” over and over. 

Garreth broke the kiss to gaze into your eyes. You stared back into his, so beautiful and green. They seemed to sparkle under the bright light of your kitchen. “I missed you today, sweetheart.” He whispered. “I missed you too, baby.” you said back, already hypnotized by your love for him, temporarily forgetting your cheating concerns. He shot you one of his gorgeous smiles before pulling you back in for another kiss. 

As your tongues danced around each other, you felt him walk you backwards into your kitchen island. He then picked you up and sat you on it, situating himself between your legs, never once breaking the kiss. His lips then moved down to your neck, sucking and biting your skin. Your hand came up into his ginger hair, running your fingers through it as you softly moaned his name. All thoughts seemed to empty from your brain and you felt heat pooling between your legs. He resumed kissing your lips as one of his hands began undoing your jeans. His hand had just slid into your jeans and under your panties when his phone began to vibrate, ripping you out of the moment. His hand flew out of your panties to answer it, completely ignoring you and the frustrated groan you made. 

“Hey. Yeah. Okay see you soon.” And that was it. The call was over. “Uh, yeah, that was Leander. We’re heading out tonight.” Garreth said as he moved away from the island and started making his way to your bedroom to change. 

You wanted to burst into tears right there. Beg him to tell you what she had that you didn’t. But you couldn’t. You wanted to catch him in the act. So you bit back your tears. “Where are you going?” You asked as usual. “Oh, we’re just going out!” The usual answer. 

“Okay. I’m probably going to watch a movie and head to bed early.” You were planting the seed, you were definitely not planning on sleeping early or at all tonight until you confronted Garreth.

Garreth spoke loudly at you as he got changed. “You better not watch any scary movies without me! You know I always love watching them together!” You smiled as he said that. “Oh, and don't forget to make sure the door is locked. You’ve heard about those reports right? Ghostface?”

You hadn’t given much thought to that. There had been reports. Three attacks in the past month. But they had all happened at night and on campus. You and Garreth lived in an off campus townhouse apartment some distance away from school, and no reports had been made near you yet. Whoever this psycho was, he was running around in a mask and had been dubbed “Ghostface” by the police. It was also reported that he would call his victims on a blocked number with a voice changer,  taunting them before attacking. 

You smiled at Garreth, trying not to give him cause for worry. “I’ll be careful, I promise!” Garreth smiled back and gave you one more kiss before leaving, Leander having texted saying he had arrived. 

------------------

It was a little after midnight when you woke up, having fallen asleep while watching the original Halloween, because if Garreth really was cheating, you didn’t care if you watched a scary movie without him. You had been awoken by the loud, jarring sound of your phone ringing. You panicked, looking around to see if Garreth had arrived home, but he hadn’t yet. Breathing a sigh of relief, you answered the phone without even looking at the caller ID, which was “blocked”. 

“Hello?”

“Hello, beautiful!”

You didn’t recognize the sound of the voice as someone you knew, but it sounded staticy and robotic. It took you a second, but you recognized it as the Ghostface voice, the one you had heard about in the news reports. You were scared, but hoping this was just a prank. 

“Who is this and what do you want?” you asked, trying to hide the worry in your voice.

“I’m just a guy wanting to talk to a pretty girl. So tell me, gorgeous, what’s your favorite scary movie?”

“Bambi. Now can you piss off?”

“Ooh! Spicy aren’t you? That’s sexy! I love a pretty girl with some bite to her. Don’t worry baby, I can bite back. I know I wouldn’t mind biting that pretty little neck of yours.”

You couldn’t help the heat that began to pool between your legs at this Ghostface’s words. But when you felt it, you immediately felt disgusted. This was either someone you knew playing a prank, or worse, an actual serial killer.

“You keep implying I’m attractive. How can you know that? What if I’m an ugly troll?”

“Well, I know you’re attractive. Tell me baby, are you wearing any panties under that black lacy slip you’re wearing? I really hope not.”

You looked down at yourself, you were indeed wearing a black lacy night slip, and you were indeed not wearing panties. Your mind was screaming at you to move. Close all the curtains, check all the windows, make sure the door was locked, and most of all, hang up the phone. But your body was betraying you. Not only were you not moving, but you actually felt a little aroused by his teasing. Against your better judgment, you played along, deciding that If he wanted to hurt you, he would have already.

“...what if I’m not?” you said in a whisper.

“...You’re not?” Ghostface asked softly. This was the first time he wasn’t teasing you, almost as if the cover was coming down. 

“No. I’m not.” You turned toward the window. You were in a first floor apartment. If this guy was truly watching you, he’d be looking through this window. You didn’t see anything when you looked, but it was dark and he could have been anywhere. You started toying with the thin spaghetti straps of your slip, letting the straps fall down to your elbows. “Can you see me right now?”

“Oh yeah baby. I can see you alright. I’d love to rip that little slip off of you and fuck you ‘till you’re screaming.”

You laughed. “Well then come and get me, asshole!” You said as you hung up the phone and darted to the window, closing the curtain. Thankfully, you had indeed locked the window when Garreth left earlier, as well as the other windows and the front door. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, You have no idea why you taunted Ghostface the way you did. It was insanely dangerous. Garreth would be pissed if he knew you had done that, but in a way, Ghostface reminded you of Garreth, with his silly and playful nature. Sadness overcame you, as you again thought about the possibility of Garreth cheating. You sat for a moment before deciding you should try and call him and let him know what happened. Just as you unlocked your phone to call him, you heard the sound of the front door being unlocked.

You jumped to your feet, standing yourself right in front of the front door, ready to confront Garreth. But you weren’t met with Garreth, you were met with Ghostface. 

You let out a scream, but his hand was instantly against your throat, pinning you to the wall. He stared at you through his mask as he switched on the voice charger that was built into his mask. “Surprise, beautiful! You told me to come get you, so I did!” He then pulled the mask off his head, red curls cascading down from it. 

“Garreth?!” 

“Hi baby!” His normal voice was back.

You were stunned. It was Garreth on the phone. But then, if that was Garreth on the phone, then that could only mean one thing. 

“Garreth…is it you? Are you…?”

“Uh huh. It’s me. Well both of us actually, Leander is the ring leader here. I’m the goofy sidekick. I don’t mind it though. I don’t have to get as dirty.” he let out a chuckle. 

“Is this…what you’ve been doing this whole time? I thought you were cheating on me?” Tears were beginning to form in your eyes. 

“Hey! No, don’t cry! Let me explain!”

And he did, or as best he could, considering how outlandish the whole thing was. Everything was Leander’s idea, Garreth was along for the ride. Leander expressed concern that you were suspicious of them, since you had been asking what they were up to. Garreth wasn’t sure if he should tell you the truth. So he wanted to call you, see how you reacted. When you had reacted so positively, he had to tell you. 

You were conflicted. On one hand, you couldn’t condone what they were doing, at all. But then, you couldn’t deny how hot Garreth looked like this. The black robe looked delicious on him. He was sweaty, his ginger curls damp from sweat, and he was panting. You wanted him to make due on his promise of fucking you untill you screamed. You decided you would talk about this in the morning, there was only one thing you wanted right now. 

You threw your arms around him, your lips crashing into his. He returned your kiss, and picked you up in his arms, leading you to the bedroom. He tossed you onto the bed, and out of his robe he pulled a large knife. You panicked for a second before he hooked the knife under the side of your slip, slicing it off of you. You giggled as the slip slid off your body. “Sorry baby, I’ll buy you a new one.” His voice was dark and sultry. 

You subconsciously spread your legs as he got himself out of his jeans. He didn’t take the robe off, only adjusting it so that it was out of the way as he stroked his length up and down your folds, coating himself in your wetness. Garreth hummed “You’re so fucking wet for me baby. Do you want me to fuck you? Tell me you want me to fuck you!”

You let out a soft moan as he continued the motion. “Please fuck me, Garreth!” you yelled as you bucked your hips into him, trying to get some friction going. 

He chuckled and reached down, grabbing his Ghostface mask that he had dropped on the bedroom floor. He stared at you with a wicked look in his eyes before putting the mask on and turning the voice changer on again. “Garreth’s not here, sweetheart. But don’t worry! I’ll take good care of you.” He grabbed his knife once again, running the not sharp side up your inner thigh, the cold metal against your skin coupled with the heat you felt in your core was a sinful combination. He repeated the same action on your other thigh as he spoke. “Now tell me, do you want me to fuck you?!” he growled through the voice changer. 

“YES! Please fuck me, Mr. Ghostface! Please!” you whined. 

He discarded the knife on the floor as he took himself back in his hand and lined himself up with your entrance. “Good girl.” He growled. He then slammed his cock into you.

You cried out at the roughness. He bucked his hips wildly as the room filled with your cries of pleasure. Garreth had never fucked you in any kind of costume before. The experience was so new for you, and you were loving every second of it. You stared at the mask, emotionless of course, but you could hear Garreth’s panting through the mask, and although you couldn’t see him, you knew he could see you and your blissed out expression. 

Much to your disappointment, he pulled out of you suddenly. But before you could protest, he demanded that you turn around. You obeyed, getting on your hands and knees on the bed, legs already jelly from your fun so far. His hand pressed into your middle lower back, forcing you on to your elbows, your ass high in the air. He easily slid back inside of you, hands holding your hips in a painful grip as he resumed roughly fucking you. This new angle had you screaming louder than before. “Oh yeah! You love this don’t you, you naughty little thing!” Garreth growled, his voice sounding delicious through the voice changer. Garreth could feel your orgasm rapidly approaching, so he took his hands off your hips, one hand reaching for your hair, yanking you by it so your upper body was facing upwards now, and reaching around to rub your clit with the other. Your body was shaking with pleasure and you were so close. “That’s it, my sweet girl! Cum for me! You’re mine you know, ALL. MINE!”  

The combination of everything made your orgasm hit hard, tears forming in the back of your eyes from the intensity of it. You screamed through your orgasm while he continued fucking you, and once the wave had passed, he pushed your body back down to it’s previous position. His hands came back to your hips as he bucked harder, giving you one last hard thrust before he spilled into you with a groan.

He let go of your hips and leaned back when he finally came down from his release. You brought your hips down, lying flat on the bed for a quick moment before he made you turn around once again. You slowly flipped yourself over, your body already aching. He spread your legs and took his mask off before bringing two fingers down to your entrance, shoving his fingers inside of you and coating them in his cum before pulling them out and bringing them towards your mouth. Without a second of hesitation, you opened your mouth and sucked his fingers clean, the two of you maintaining eye contact for a few seconds as you sucked, your tongue savoring the taste of him. The two of you giggled as he pulled his fingers out of your mouth.

Once you had gotten yourself cleaned up and Garreth had gotten changed, the two of you snuggled up in your bed. He was back to his normal self, bubbly and upbeat as he kissed you goodnight. You knew your relationship wouldn’t be the same after this, knowing what Garreth was and what he was capable of, but you would figure it out in the morning. You loved him, you wanted to relish in the afterglow of your time together. 

At least now you finally had your answer. Garreth wasn’t cheating after all. 

--------------

[thecedarchronicle]

listen i know im a very small part of a niche ssoblr community so i don't know how many people this will reach. but something about me is i dont have a lot of people i feel comfortable discussing politics with. and those people in my circle all share my views so it never crossed my mind to encourage them to vote.

only to find out today while hanging out with them that almost a third of them were planning on not voting for a candidate. (please bear in mind across the board this is our first presidential election we can vote in, so this was more-so out of their unsureness and nervousness than an actual moral stance on voting). they knew about project 2025 but had NO idea about how big it truly was and how devastating. by the end of the conversation they were completely convinced to vote against trump, and one of my friends realized how much of a direct impact these changes would have on MANY members of her older family members who are swing voters and hadn't made a decision yet.

please talk to your friends, people around you. none of the options are going to be good but we have so little time and so much at stake.

[togglesbloggle]

Is it just me, or is there a pretty under-explored niche for a massive D&D fantasy franchise along the lines of Star Wars and Marvel? The sort of missing third genre leg beside science fiction and comics, so to speak.

They've clearly tried this with Tolkien, at least as far as extending the LotR movies to the Hobbit trilogy and the Amazon show which is kinda-sorta in the same lineage. And those things had more than none traction. But the Tolkien estate isn't making it easy with rights licensing, and there's an awkward founder effect they have to contend with- the Jackson LotR trilogy gave the entire franchise a very distinct 'vibe' in the popular imagination, and in practice it seems to be hard to recapture given current production constraints. It seems like it's really hard to make a Tolkien movie or show that 'feels like' the Jackson movies unless you sink a lot in to costuming and practical effects, but the current trends are in the opposite direction, with elaborate greenscreening and digital everything.

But in any case, Middle-Earth really isn't the brand you want for a mass-media culture juggernaut, is it? It's literary when it needs to be pulpy, mournful when it needs to be exciting, pensive when it needs to be strident. The world is vast, but delicate, and written by a single author exploring a narrow, coherent set of themes and styles.

Surely D&D- which is to say, the Forgotten Realms, realistically- is better for this all-around. It has a truly massive baked-in fanbase that's clearly (through 'actual play' podcasts etc.) already chomping at the bit for high production value experiences, a vast backlog of source material to draw on owned by corporate entities rather than a single brittle family estate, a wide variety of scenarios allowing for multiple sub-genres and directoral styles all under the same umbrella. It's just as popular but less sacred, meaning the audience will be more tolerant of failures. It has merchandising options for days, already has beautiful examples of video game and multimedia tie-ins, and has established and successful writing patterns for epic-scale crossover movies, long-running multi-season campaigns, one-shots, and everything in between.

There's one weakness, which is that compared to Star Wars and Marvel, individual characters are less central in the existing property. D&D has some, such as Drizzt, that rose to prominence in the novel spin-offs, so of course this isn't totally wrecked. However, the brand was originally built fundamentally as a game system and as a set of places, with the heroes to be assembled by the consumers themselves; it must be said that iconic characters are somewhat sparse, and awkwardly spread across multiple settings and continuities. But I think if you got the thing really roaring, this might give it longevity that Star Wars and Marvel ultimately lack- Robert Downey Jr. is Iron Man, Mark Hammil is Luke, and notwithstanding AI representations, once those actors are gone, the franchises themselves flounder awkwardly. But if audiences come to identify their enthusiasm for D&D franchise movies with the world and brand itself, then the turnover in the cast is much less damaging to that brand, because the whole thing is already built from the ground up without overly relying on a specific group of 8-10 actors as a lynchpin of the whole operation. Even the leveling mechanic allows for franchise tentpole actors to grow in prominence as they emerge as audience favorites, then conveniently transition in to CG apotheosis or some other suitable end as the actors age out and new favorites are found.

I mean, far be it from me to give advice to the goliaths of culture, but I'm genuinely puzzled about why Disney hasn't bought D&D yet, or why Hasbro hasn't made some kind of big push to do this outside the single (pretty good!) movie. I think I'd even kind of enjoy it.

[savethegrishaverse]

We’re back with our next round of prompts Third Army! This week (February 4th to February 10th) we want to talk all about friendship with the #Friends Along The Way. We want to talk about the deep love that these characters share with each other, the platonic life bonds they form even as their paths diverge, and the friendships we’ve made ourselves within this fandom!

Writing prompt: Pull up a random generator of all the Grishaverse characters (you can find one here), and write a fic about the first three characters you get! Maybe they’re enemies to friends, or maybe they’ve been friends for so long it just feels natural to them. Who knows, maybe they have a friendship that hasn’t been explored in the books or shows yet!

Writing prompt: We see in brief moments of the show how hard our characters will fight for each other - but write us a scene where the characters will truly risk everything to protect the people they love!

Writing prompt: Write an essay on a niche Grishaverse topic that you are obsessed with but no one else seems to talk about.

Art prompt: Draw yourself as a Grisha on a journey with your friends to (or even through) the Fold!

Art Prompt: Animes like One Piece, Fairy Tail, and Pokemon prioritize the “found family” or the team over flesh and blood. Draw the Grishaverse characters in the style of another found family you adore!

Photoshop challenge: We have celebrated a lot of birthdays over the last few weeks - Simon’s, Freddy’s, Anna’s and Sujaya’s, and now Lewis’s! Let’s photoshop all the birthday gang into one big party picture!

Photoshop challenge: Love them or hate them, yearbook photos populate many a grungy basement, and friends tend to sign them at leisure! What would a Grishaverse yearbook look like?

Mixed Media challenge: Every group of friends have that one friend that has a secret talent they’re really good at. Whether it’s knitting, or cooking, or sewing, or juggling, show off your own secret talent by making something that you were inspired by the Grishaverse fandom to make!

Question/Answer prompts: There are many different friendships and interactions across all the books and all the episodes of the show. What was a moment that really stuck out to you as a moment where characters had each other’s backs?

Every week I want to ask people to share happy/hopeful stories about Grishaverse and the campaign. Let’s talk about the friends we’ve made, the kindness in the fandom, and any moments of hope we can share to keep our spirits strong!

[lovezbrownies]

Anonymous submission!!

Med student fem

Aweee man I didn’t expect my big reveal as an anon to get revealed this way oh well! I have to copy and paste my ramblings on here I suppose

WARNING: 🌪️ anon rambling and practically writing paragraph after paragraph

Love sick puppy type of yandere! She comes from a pretty well off background like the typical rich doctor parents and whole family line ranging from doctors/business owners. She’s on her third year of med school in a prestigious school and everyone puts her on a high pedestal due to her coming from this high regarded family and her being attractive, smart, confident and that whole niche. BUT she dislikes it as everyone finds her as this type of girl who knows everything, and takes her to be much more responsible than what she actually is and as she just truly wants a friend to connect with. 

BUT due to her background and how everyone thinks of her she can never have a ‘true’ type of friend in her POV. Like it’s either people who suck up to her and act really sickly sweet to her to earn her favor basically like transactional friends or either dealing with people who feel too threatened by her so they never even approach her or try to form a connection 50/50 chance. When she really just wants someone who she can rely on without needing to worry if they’re just with her for her money, looks, popularity, or basically any type of second layer to them.

COME TO US/HER future DARLING. A tired second year major student who’s a year below her. Someone who’s already tired of college life, and has no interest in doing anything but turning their assignment in late to get partial credit hopefully. Also to see what’s for lunch and if they can beg the lunch lady for a free small portion of Mac and cheese in the after hours. Who first met the yet to be love sick yandere in a science class for one of their classes. Not realizing the brunette haired girl who is her partner is the popular student that everyone talks about. AND SO we treat her coldly due to the fact we were partnered up with her for one of our assignments in the lab when we saw students flocking around her for ‘help’. Assuming she wouldn’t be of help due to her being “busy” so we mostly ignore her in favor of completing our assignment for the day for a good grade. Because I’ll be dammed if we got into a prestigious college just to do nothing and get an F if we quite paid literal thousands to attend here.

So when the yandere finally tries to help we just get disgruntled at her and tell her to “don’t bother” because we already finished for the day. Leaving her astonished as she saw for once that she was that “lazy lab partner” for a change who did nothing. AND as this random person she never once had a second thought about in her class treat her so differently as to what she was used to. As this is her first time ever getting treated like this and not being instantly greeted by bowing down/someone sucking up to her or by someone who seemed threatened by her. As she’s lightly bewildered to herself thinking..“wow..who was that just now? No one has never treated me like this before..yup now I need to get to know them now”

It’s a slow build up as she tries to meet up with us to apologize for her not doing anything and such. But in return we just wave her away with a simple, “alr cool I guess bro.” While we continue our way for our next class to get there in time. This continues on for a while as we ignore and always get slightly annoyed by this girl who now is always seen trying to find a way to talk to us. Either by talking to us in the hallway or asking the teachers to assign her new seat right next to us. Using the excuse that we might need help but in reality trying to get closer to us. 

BUT as she saw that we wanted nothing to do with her, she thought this would be perfect. Since, for once she met this person who didn’t want anything to do with her not because they were afraid of her. But because they weren’t interested MEANING in her delusional terms she just needs to befriend us and she wont need to worry about having a friend who uses her for money or anything of that term for once! Hooray!

What she didn’t realize was that she was pushing us further and further to our edge. As we see her as this random girl we just met two to three months back is now forcefully inserting herself to our life, and not only that but distracting us while in class. So while we’re trying to take notes we can’t due to her being distractive with her talking and the questions she keeps asking about ourselves. So eventually we get angry enough to the point we actually out right tell her/insult her kinda as we say how we find her annoying and how we want nothing to do with her. Since, we’re only even here to begin with to get our degree before we leave her in her chair in shock while we leave the classroom. Leaving her confused and somewhat panicked as she thought she lost her chance with us. But also slightly blushing? girl might be into it? 🤨 /hj

So her previous platonic-ish intentions for a friend now changes to get us to trust and care for her the way she does for us. Forcing us to spend more time with her no matter what we say or think. Since, students and teachers love her they won’t believe us when we say she started to act creepy. In a way where she begins to appear outside of our classroom doorways to walk us to our next class to chat. Or also in a type of way where she would become jealous whenever she would see us talking to someone else.

But if we even dare to say anything about it to her and straight out say we find her creepy and see her as some type of stalker. People who are around to hear would assumed we just randomly insulted the star student as theyll feel bad for her and get mad at us. Because the star student gave this rando of a lonely student a chance to gain HER friendship but had just insulted her. MEANING we can’t say anything about it sadly as we’re forced to have this girl hang off of us until we graduate hopefully?..

anyways! I’ll end it to here because it’s becoming wayyyyy too long and I just barely scratched the surface. Meaning maybe next time if I decide to write again I’ll explain her ideal future and what she wants from her darling. Like if she wants to get married or if she wants kids or not. ps: she does and wants a big family Or how she acts if she’s jealous, gets rejected, or if she sees the one she likes already with someone else in a romantic sense, including if she’s the type to kidnap her darling or not.

Note from lovezBrowniez:

HELOOFOPDJSAJ??? EOOINF?? OOMF?? I HAD MY SUSPICIONS ON SO MANY PEOPLE EXCEPT YOU I AM GOIGN CRAZYY I AM SO SURPRISED

Also you cooked so fucking hard with this oomf I fear my blog will be stolen by you SO SO GOOD. brain rot more often pls i beg you plspls

i fw this insanely hard you dont get it oomf omg

KNEEWAYS! I love love this so much just the "good everyone fw me but i don't fw them :( ALSO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING THIS I GOT BUSY WITH COLLEGE :(

i am writing the fic rn :3 for our cutie med student here !love this ughhghgr would u be mad if i made her a McCanister oomf be honest

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 2, Part 2/3 (p. 440-614)

Read the previous post here.

We pick up this second third of Act 2 by reading another section of Rose's GameFAQs walkthrough.

Credit where it's due, I like this section title.

Rose wants to know more about this hypothetical Pornsprite. This girl is freaky. Too bad Ao3 didn't go into open beta until a few months after Homestuck began, she would've been all about it.

Interesting how she only cites part of her guide as "logorrheic sludge." Honey, that's the entire guide. Brevity is not your strong suit.

Rose and Jade's first pesterlog. I'll use this as the jumping off point to talk about Jade since she has only appeared sporadically at this point and none of her logs were worth talking about.

Actually, she did have one log in Act 1 where she asks John about his present. The one interesting thing is that she apparently didn't know what Sburb was when John mentioned it.

So John, Rose, and Dave all knew about Sburb and none of them thought to tell Jade about it? Huh... guess that tells us a lot about the dynamics of their friend group.

Anyway, I realize this might be a "hot take" given her inexplicable popularity in the fandom, but I don't like Jade. And unlike with John, there never was a point where I did. I am of the mind that Homestuck would've been much stronger and have a tighter pace if she was cut from the cast of kids (or at least, this version of her. The story could also work if she had some heavy rewrites) and it was limited to John, Rose, and Dave. Rose and Dave alone make for an engaging pair, and I suppose John acts as a sort of "anchor" to ground their increasingly esoteric insincerity and bullshit. If he was fleshed out more, it definitely would've worked.

But Jade doesn't help with this dynamic at all. Like John, Jade is also much more grounded and sincere, but her personality is also coupled with an overwhelming optimism where she believes everything will be okay if left up to chance. If John is true neutral, Jade is 100% positive. He barely reacts to the otherworldly things happening to him, but she actively seems to enjoy them (the meteor crashing near her house is something she wants to explore regardless of the risk, and John struggling in Sburb is "exciting").

She doesn't serve as a convincing counterbalance to Rose and Dave and comes across as more of an extraneous extension of John's lack of danger sense than anything else. Do we really need two happy-go-lucky kids with slight variations on the same niche? The very fact that the story is able to progress without her involvement thus far shows just how little she matters.

These first two acts shroud her in so much mystery, and we barely know anything about her even through these sparse pesterlogs. (As we later see, this amounts to nothing, so all this intrigue is unfounded and only leads to an unsatisfying payoff). At this point in the story, we only know that she lives with her grandfather and someone named Bec (which Dave refers to as a "devilbeast"), she has a "goofy modus" which frustrates even Dave (who, mind you, mocked John for using a simple modus earlier), she lives in a far-off part of the world, and that she has some degree of inexplicable precognition.

Jade's cutesy cagey attitude about her precognitive abilities is fucking annoying, and it is perhaps the worst thing about reading her logs. "oh gee i know all this stuff but its a secret and you gotta find out on your own tee hee! :)" This truly is typical hackshit writing when handling characters with prophetic knowledge. You can't make them too useful, or else there won't be suspense or conflict. Instead they have to act as a ineffectual plot device to softly guide the characters along. Except she doesn't do any guiding. She just unhelpfully alludes to things that the others don't know yet and leaves it at that.

In fact, Jade as a whole is less of a character and more of a plot device, by which I mean she doesn't have any sort of character to speak of. Her overbearing cheerfulness is not endearing to read, neither is her dropping hints that she knows more about what she lets on. She doesn't have any entertaining chemistry with the others either. Her interactions with John are like watching two morons acting excited with each other while the world is literally ending around them. Dave intentionally strips himself of his personality because he has a crush on her and wants to impress her by being "nice," but she doesn't seem to reciprocate his feelings at all. Also, come on, dude, Rose is right there.

Rose is the only one who shows any scrutiny about Jade's "quirky" clairvoyance. But even so, she only expresses this through occasional, bemused remarks. Jade dodges the question whenever Rose asks how she knows about things she realistically shouldn't, and Rose doesn't ever press further.

So Rose had prior knowledge about a game that will bring her cat to life. We later find out that this opportunity to revive Jaspers was her her motivation for playing Sburb. Doesn't seem worth ending the world for, but whatever. I daresay this casts Jade in a bit of a villainous role for planting the idea in Rose's head in the first place.

Actually, if Jade ended up being a twist villain, that would've been interesting and provide, you know, intrigue! Or if nothing else, it would've at least added something of substance to her character, something she desperately needs. Even ignoring that angle, you'd think the other kids might be more than a little resentful toward Jade since she knew the world was going to end, yet never told any of them about it.

But no, Hussie can't implement anything that would've been conducive to good storytelling. Especially if it leads to, gasp, conflict!

Okay, enough of Jade, let's get moving.

I want to bring attention to this passage and compare it to the earlier "symphony impossible to play" one with Rose. First of all, it's worth noting the rain/drought contrast between their respective settings. Unlike the more elegant and cerebral prose in Rose's section, this one reads more like a stream of consciousness from Dave's perspective. Loose and casual, even ending with a Snoop Dogg-esque rhyme at the end before transitioning to an actual Snoop Dogg verse.

Yeah, for those who haven't caught on, John Keats didn't actually say that. Very easy to miss, I'm sure. For those counting, this is also misattributed quote gag #5. I am positively rolling with laughter.

I find it noteworthy the room where Bro has his whole setup is stated to be the living room, not a bedroom. I'm quite certain that the Striders live in a one-bedroom apartment where Dave gets the room and Bro has all his shit in the living room and kitchen.

Dave's relationship with Bro is an inverse of John and Rose's relationships with their guardians. Whereas Dad and Mom decorate their homes with shit they think their kids will like in order to seek their approval, Bro isn't doing any of this for Dave's sake. He fills his home with his puppets and weapons because he's the one into that shit (ironically or otherwise, it doesn't matter). Dave in turn adopts Bro's mannerisms because he craves his approval.

The amount of mental hoops he needs to make in order to justify his brother's fixation on sex and puppets is concerning. Is Bro even being "ironic" or is that just an excuse he tells Dave so he doesn't have to explain this stuff any further? I think the love of Lil Cal, his childhood possession and best friend, led to a love of puppets being a core part of his personality. Everything else that extends from that is up to interpretation.

Like Dave, Bro is also a hipster doofus who does things seen as patently "uncool" in a bold display of being unique. The logic is such: a disregard for what society deems "cool" is what leads to it becoming "cool" ironically. At a glance, Bro's interests include typically "cool" things like ninja weapons, video games, and rapping. Bro plays with expectations by using these interests, which he may very well only enjoy ironically, in conjunction with puppets, which he loves genuinely but passes them off as ironic since most people deem them creepy and uncool. Applying a sexual element to the puppets makes an interest in them even creepier, so Bro does so if only to make his love for them appear even more ironic.

Convoluted and confusing? Yeah, that's Bro Strider, baby.

I don't know how necessary it was to show just how Dave gave Lil Cal a fist bump, but I do like this panel. One of the few reminders we get that these characters are, in fact, small children.

Bro's 6-character password is "puppet" right? It has to be. (Correction: a helpful anon has informed me that the password is actually "lilcal"). Also, just like his home, his desktop organization is also a mess. There's no method to this man's madness.

For all the negligence and questionable parenting methods Bro is guilty of, he still cares for Dave in some capacity. He stays up to date on his webcomic and blogs, and even hangs up one of Dave's SBaHJ drawings on the fridge. I wonder if Bro, on some level, likes the idea of raising a kid that he can raise to be just like him, but is just a woefully inept guardian that he doesn't know the first thing about parenting.

Remember, these are the kinds of websites Rose says she likes.

Just gonna say perhaps it's not ideal that Dave is being exposed to this kind of thing at such a young age. As much as he idolizes Bro and wants to emulate him, he can't get over the fact that all this sex stuff disturbs him. Yet he doesn't even view it as sexual, only as a form of irony, one he can't comprehend until he can somehow overcome his aversion toward it. It's kinda sad, really.

Unsettled, Dave's first recourse is to talk to John to try and calm down. John leaves him hanging. Such a good friend, am I right? He then goes to Rose, where they have the earlier conversation where she says she likes Bro's websites, but this time we get added context.

Dave of course is attempting to act casual about the whole thing, only slightly alluding to his deeper distress, and Rose is just like "That shit rules. I like it." This whole exchange is both tragic and darkly comedic.

Rose really does come across as a little pervert sometimes. She casually drops sexually charged phrases in conversation ("sun's lurid glare"), her username is a lewd double entendre (tentacle the... I'll let you finish that phrase), and she does show a marked interest in sexual topics (Bro's websites, the Pornsprite... honestly I'm surprised she doesn't suggest that to Dave at any point).

Both she and Dave play with innuendo and act as though they're mature and know all about sex. However, Dave's attitude toward sex is more a response to his exposure to it at a young age, whereas Rose is more casual about it and sees her flippant attitude toward it as a mark of maturity. She must love treating sex as this trivial little thing that might make others uncomfortable, but not her because she's soooo grown up.

Also, if Rose truly did give a shit about psychoanalysis, she probably would've picked up on Dave's cries for help in his messages. She really isn't as perceptive as she lets on.

Thank you, Rose, for saying what I was thinking.

Rose gets a kick out of Dave's webcomic and laughs when John makes references to it. Also, she doesn't tell John about what Dave told her earlier about the puppets when he mentions it. How nice of her. John is a fucking jackass though. Seriously, fuck him.

I'm putting a pin in this for later. Rose being able to "see only [...] what John can see, or has seen already" will be important to note later on.

Another tragicomic exchange where Rose continues to make light of Dave's distress. I wonder if she is incapable of seeing Dave as being sincere in this moment and thinks he's overreacting as a part of their usual back-and-forth.

Here it is. My favorite Homestuck page.

Dave wants to please Bro and goes along with his shtick no matter how far he pushes the envelope. This only encourages Bro to go further and further in his methods of fucking with Dave. Is his end goal to push Dave to a breaking point, or does he truly hope something with click that will make Dave truly understand him? Either way, it's fucked up.

I didn't want to get into Bro Discourse during this reread. I know there are opposing camps who either think he's a monstrous child abuser, or a silly guy who did no wrong. Personally, I think that while he doesn't read as outright malicious, it's safe to say this dude is a menace and has no business raising a kid.

It's really skeevy of Bro to incorporate his underage brother in his fetish videos, which will doubtless be uploaded to his site for others to view. This is probably the one of the more damning things he's guilty of.

Bro has reduced the kitchen as a storage space for his weapons. It's a wonder how he's able to take care of himself, let alone a child.

It's stated that Bro doesn't have anywhere else to store his stuff, which further reinforces my theory that Dave has the only bedroom in the apartment.

Yes. Thank you. One can only watch characters launch objects at high speeds for so long.

Dave's sylladex shenanigans are a little more tolerable than John's. Assigning different names to objects in order to make them fit in the modus is more fun than watching things eject once the deck is full.

This metaphor caught me off guard. It's so abrupt and out of pocket, I love it.

Shit's about to go down. Let's see how things resolve when I finish Act 2 next week.

Read the next post here.

[dearinglovebot]

there's a common criticism of the jurassic world movies that goes like "trying to weaponize raptors is such a stupid idea. the military would never do that". but my main criticism of that particular plot, from a third worldist perspective, would actually be that it doesn't go far enough.

"it's a crazy idea to even suggest--" in the 1950s CIA operatives attempted psychological warfare on a filipino village by spreading rumors that aswang (vampire-esc creatures) were hunting down rebels. they'd kidnap rebels, create dual puncture wounds in the neck, drain the body of blood, and leave the body for the community to find. they've done crazier.

"it's a stupid idea--" so were most of the ways they plotted (or failed) to assassinate fidel castro. exploding shellfish he'd pick up while scuba diving, tuberculosis-causing-fungi in a scuba mask, exploding cigar, ballpoint pen with secret syringe full of poison, just exploding places, etc. like the vast majority of declassified programs would make you look crazy if you told someone about them, despite the evidence of them existing. in the 1960s they put a tiny microphone + radio transmitter in a cat and tried to use it to spy on the soviets. it was called "acoustic kitty".

"animals just aren't efficient--" drug sniffing dogs can have inaccuracy ranges from 1/3-½ of the time. studies have determined that they can pick up on their trainer's racism and target minorities without any illicit substances because the trainer suspects them to have them. there's also a long history of trying to use intelligent animals as spies (crows, ravens, dolphins, pigeons, dogs, etc). most of these aren't actually more efficient than drones in the end, but they still try it just to see if it would work.

"raptors wouldn't be effective against enemy tanks--" most of the people these raptors would be deployed against wouldn't actually have tanks. they'd be guerrilla fighters who rely on hit and run tactics. or if they do have tanks, they'd be relatively old ones from the soviet era without the same modern capabilities. the USA does not wage war (or, proxy war in most cases) with actual military nations. the better question would be how bullet resistant are their scales which has a scene answering it in the first movie (you'll be dead before you manage a hit).

"but raptors are wild animals that might hurt the troops--" the army gave their own troops cancer and denies many healthcare for it to this day. bases would have these things called "burn pits" where you burn all your trash including ones that produce toxic gas like plastic and electronics. toxic gas, as the name implies, can give you anything from asthma to cancer. yes, they knew it did that. yes, they still use them.

the question of "if" training raptors for war is a good idea or smart idea falls flat when we consider that based on historical context, neither of these things are necessarily required for military projects. if someone can think of it, they will try it. the better question to ask is "would the military believe they have something to gain from it?" because that is the only truly relevant one in this situation.

the answer is "yes". it would be a niche that has not been explored. whether or not the raptors specifically work in war would be irrelevant because part of military operation on animals is understanding if an animal is capable of collaboration. take acoustic cat: the mission was ultimately abandoned, but was considered a "win" because they realized the limitations of cats as tools of war. they were deemed incapable of long-term espionage ability due to trainability, but were not completely ruled out for future short term espionage ability, were a niche to arise.

when we apply all of this understanding to the world movies, we get a firmer grasp on why the semantics don't particularly matter as much as the intended message: "just because we can do things doesn't mean we should". which is in line with the themes of jurassic park as a film.

[bunbunbillion]

THE BUNBUNBILLION Q1 2024 MEDIA THREAD EXTRAVAGANZA

i've been recording everything i consume for the past few months to do a media thread at the end of every quarter. and now april is over... so its time to talk about stuff!! forever!!!!!!

01/13 - Homestuck (Re-Read)

I finished re-reading Homestuck for the... 4th? 5th time? I've lost count. It's a good way to start the year though. This time around I read it with my girlfriend, who you should give all of your money too (@yinkybaginky), and it was very fun to see someones reaction to it for the first time. She knew literally nothing about Homestuck, not even what a Vriska Serket was. A truly great experience, especially thanks in part to the Unofficial Homestuck Collection. I'll probably have more to see about Homestuck in depth on a later date, so I won't bog down this post with that. It's my favorite piece of media ever, and that's all there is really to say on the matter.

01/24-01/25 - The Trolls Movies

I've been surrounded by gay people who love Trolls for the past like 5 years so I finally decided to give them a watch on a whim with my girlfriend, after catching some of the first movie in a streamers server.

They were fun! I really don't think I have much to say on them. They're kids movies, sure, but they're also just very visually great and made me go "yeah you know what some of those old pop songs WERE pretty good". I think when it came to stories I liked the first one the most just because I liked the Bergen's a lot, I thought their whole world was very well designed and all that. Don't have the most care for Branch, and Poppy is OK as a protagonist, but otherwise I had more fun with the other characters. Creature design is absolutely excellent and is what stood out to me the most of anything, though. The animation in the 3rd movie is also top notch, I really do want to see the series continue. If they do, I like the third movies approach of finding a niche to make "the thing" for the whole movie, it's a fun way of doing stuff.

We thought this shot was really funny.

1/20 - Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio

I was gonna watch this when it came out awhiiile ago, but just put it off forever. I saw Jacob Geller had uploaded a new video about Pinocchio, which talked about the movie and was like. Man. I wanna watch that video. Guess I'll go watch this entire movie. So I hopped into VC with Netflix on and just watched it.

It was Fucking Good!!!!!!!!!!! Every good thing you've heard about the movie is absolutely true. Do yourself a favor and just watch it. That being said, I also don't have too much to say about it! It's been a few months and it hasn't totally stuck around in my head, but that just means I get to rewatch it sometime, and I can look forward to that. It mostly made me want to watch more stop motion movies.

If I were to highlight anything, its that I love to make the movie all about death. Pinocchio as a story seems to constantly get turned into this thing all about freedom and living and how great life is and all that, but this movie completely nailed that yea. Pinocchio works so much better as a movie about death. A puppet living on a blessing against the laws of nature being used as a vessel to explore acceptance of death. It's really great.

the demons are such baddies btw

01/29 - Earthbound USA

Not the game, but the documentary put together by Jazzy Benson through Fangamer. It was absolutely fantastic. Easily my favorite game documentary I've ever watched... Because it's not really about the game.

To put into words, because I imagine 90% of people reading (not including the people I watched it with) haven't seen it or even heard of it, Earthbound USA is a documentary about specifically starmen.net and Earthbounds western fanbase.

The doc highlights basically every aspect of Earthbound in the west. They talk to the people who translated the game, who made the marketing campaign, the fans who bought the game day one, the translator of the MOTHER 3 fan translation, they talk about Earthbound Zero, about the virtual console releases, the quest to get MOTHER 3 officially localized and every single defeat that came with it, I mean Shigesato Itoi is just here too. It's everything you could ask for all combined with home videos from the early 2000s, an outstanding soundtrack that gives me goosebumps from Robbie Benson, it's just... So good.

I bought the DVD for the movie and streamed that to my friends, which you can get here on Fangamer, whenever they plan on restocking it at least. Or, you can watch it on streaming services listed on their website! If your a MOTHER fan, I'd say this is like, essential viewing. It may as well be official with how good it is.

01/29 - A Brief Retrospective of The Simpsons' Golden Age

I finished this the same day. I recorded this mostly as a joke, but hey if your insane and have watched every single Simpsons episode like me and want whats basically a Simpsons Summary Podcast, I recommend this 11-hour video.

02/06 - MOTHER

A week later I couldn't get Earthbound USA out of my head, so I decided to finally sit down and go where no MOTHER fan has gone before. To the first game in the series.

It was really really good. Like, man, I don't know why I slept on it so long just because it was an NES RPG. Ok, I mean, I know why I did, it's because it's a NES RPG, but still.

This game really highlights everything that went into its two sequels to make them so good, and has so many little unique novelties about it that make it just so so memorable. The music, the writing, the places you go, it's just... So, so good. I still think the best way to get into MOTHER is to start with Earthbound, just due to how approachable it is, but if you like it and/or MOTHER 3, do not sleep on MOTHER/Earthbound Beginnings. It's just so good.

Probably use an emulator with rewind or save-states though.

i'll be fine with not hearing magicants music anymore though

02/17 - Yakuza Kiwami 2

I started this game probably years ago, and never got that far. Yakuza 0 is definitely one of my favorite games ever, and I was kind of mixed on Yakuza Kiwami, but I was enjoying the start of Kiwami 2 for sure.

How did I feel by the end?

I mean it's not BAD, per say, it's just... Not very good, either. The gameplay never really felt like it evolved much, the writing really felt like it never picked up and just kept ADDING stuff, but at least the side quests were probably the absolute best the series has given me so far. That definitely saved it for me, but man the story. It just wasn't very good.

I had a lot more thoughts after playing it, but I think think in the end it just comes down to;

Ryuji did not get nearly enough time to shine to be an impactful villian

The bastard cop was a character I was given no reason to care for, and the focus put on him did not feel earned in any way

Kiryu really did not feel that involved with everything going on

Sayama did not get nearly enough agency in this story

As for the twists, I didn't like how many there were at first, but I think by the end there were just so many twists I was like. Yeah nvm this is so fucking stupid it owns. So good on them for that!

I don't think I'll ever replay the main story for this game, but I will absolutely come back to those side quests, they're so good I don't want to spoil a single one. I am also really enjoying Yakuza 3 so far, so that's a we might just be back regardless.

the selfie feature is really funny. you really feel like your some 40 year old dad.

02/22 - Pokemon Scarlet and Violet: The Hidden Treasures of Area Zero - Epilogue

I have a lot of thoughts on Pokemon Scarlet & Violet. I am a HUGE Pokemon freak, like omega huge freak levels of such. I will claw and bite tooth and nail defending Sword and Shield any fucking day of the week. I think Scarlet and Violet are like, painfully mid games in such a disheartening way. I still enjoyed a lot of it, but man it's so held back by... everything, really.

And the DLC fixed I'd say about none of it. In fact, I'd go as far to say the 2 DLC stories only highlight and strengthen every single problem scarvi has as a game and it disheartens me, so, so so much. Unlike the Sword and Shield epilogues, which expanded upon the best parts of the game and experimented with brand new formats as prep for the next generation, scarvi kinda just does. Nothing. It's more Scarlet and Violet, slime grease and all.

Kitakami is... Ok, I guess? It's an exceptionally uninteresting region with absolutely no landmarks that stand out in my mind. The story in it is pretty subpar, it's a really annoying kind of "player has no control over a misunderstanding" narrative in a really obnoxious way and by god I'll say it I never really get a reason to care about Kieran. He's not bad by any means, I mean he's just a kid, but really I don't feel like I'd ever call him a friend. The story with the Loyal Three and Ogrepon is really cute though, I do love that they completely flipped the story of Momotaro on its head in such a fun and unique way.

Blueberry Academy I was looking forward to much more, thinking that while Kitakami was really rushed and pretty bad, it must mean more resources were just put towards the second DLC. I was pretty wrong, it was basically just as under baked... But also still better, regardless. They introduce a lot of characters you won't really remember with this DLC, and it feels weird because it feels like there SHOULD be more to these characters, but it's all confined to a pretty short campaign.

The story is pretty ok, and I like what they did with Kieran here, but the second you beat him in the champion fight the story like, immediately halts the breaks and everything stops mattering. I really thought Drayton might've been set up as an interesting antagonist, someone subtly bullying Kieran and egging on how he is, but in the end he's just a well meaning friend who's just eccentric. All the other trainers basically disappear as well, and Kieran reverts back to how he was before all this for the most part. Then the story with Terapagos has to happen, and you get the return to Area Zero, except with your new friends you've barely built bonds with and Briar instead.

Similar to Drayton, I thought Briar might've been getting set up to be a bit fucked up. She's pretty obsessed with Area Zero and proving that Heath was right, and that feels like obvious easy set up for a villain right? Obsession is kind of the text book villain motive, especially in a series like Pokemon. But, no, like Drayton, Briar is actually exactly as she seems, and there's nothing underneath.

Unfortunetly, Area Zero itself was also not as interesting on revisit. I imagine it was the far lower budget, but it ends up mostly just being a very basic crystal-cave environment, without that really fascinating hollow-earth vibe Area Zero has in the base game. You're also mostly just traveling alone going on fetch quests to beat mini-boss Pokemon to open up gates, so that feeling of traveling an unknown place with friends is also completely lost. In the end, Terapagos isn't much of a character at all, like Ogrepon (or Miraidon/Koraidon) are, and is just kinda There. I'm sure the anime is doing a lot more with them, given they're a main character, but man they are NOTHING in this game and it's really disappointing with how incredibly hyped up they are.

In the end though, the thing I really came out loving with the second DLC was something I didn't actually know about until after finishing the epilogue, which was the brief interaction with the Professor in Kitakami once you have Terapagos. I won't spoil it, I'd recommend going to the crystal lake in Kitakami with Terapagos in your party to see it, but it was a moment where I was really like... Damn. This story really could've been something special.

NOW WITH ALL THAT OUT OF THE WAY, it was the Epilogue that I beat this year, which acts both as a bonus to the DLC, and a Mythical Pokemon event similar to ones from the DS games. And, I gotta say.

It's easily the best thing in the entire DLC, bar none.

Despite just being a revisit to Kitakami, the Epilogue is not only better written then both of the DLC chapters, but actually shows that promise for future games like the SWSH DLC did years ago. I had a smile on my face basically the entire time.

First off, hanging out with the three friends again after they basically disappear once you beat the game is so incredibly refreshing. Just having them over to your house is the first time in a Pokemon game I've actually felt that like... Oh, I'm a kid hanging out with my friends, kind of feeling. That original inspiration the Pokemon series had was just completely captured with that, and I love it, and it continues through the entire DLC. On top of that, the DLC does a lot of very small things with its cutscenes that I felt were really missing from the main game that actually completely caught me off guard. Seamless transition between overworld cutscenes, cinematic cutscenes, and battles mainly. It feels like Pokemon games have always struggled with taking you out of the story for loading screens or transitions or letting the player wander off or something. It's hard to immerse, but with this DLC just through the most simple methods they really catch you off guard with the cutscene framing and battle starts in a way I absolutely adore, especially since your with your friends who can actually Talk for you too. Helps that all of the writing is just really funny too, I had such a good time.

Overall, I think this is where I want the Pokemon series to go. The segment of Area Zero where you travel with all your friends already stood out to a lot of people, but didn't have the most writing to back it up. Similarly, this DLC has all of the writing, but it can feel like you aren't actually traveling with your friends, as they don't follow you. I think having a Pokemon game where you travel directly with other people in a bit of a party is the way to go with expanding on Pokemon as a series, and this DLC combined with base scarvi really proves How it can work. It makes me so excited to see where we can go from here, and I can only hope they learned from all these mistakes.

wow i had a fucking lot to say about scarlet and violet dlc and i didnt even mention this thing. whatever.

02/26 - Splatoon 3: Side Order

Funny story, I actually beat Splatoon 3 on a friends copy, but on my own switch, so when this DLC came out I ended up buying an entire new copy of Splatoon 3, with DLC, and an already completed save file. So was the DLC worth 80 bucks? I mean, no, not at all, but it was extremely good!!

It came out while I was out of town with my girlfriend, so we had a lot of fun playing it together, and I think it's just overall a genius idea for a Splatoon mode. It makes me like, viscerally crave an even bigger Splatoon roguelike, but I'm also like an extreme roguelike freak. The story was super cute (my big "I <3 PEARLINA" shirt notwithstanding) and basically everything it introduces is great. I haven't actually beaten the Agent 8 locker yet, because I'm Bad At Splatoon </3, but I everything else was just so good.

im actually extremely biased, btw

02/27 - Ponyo (Rewatch)

I rewatched Ponyo with my girlfriend while I was over for the first time since I was a wee little amoeba. It was so fucking cute!!!! I really do love Ghibli movies a lot. I don't think there's a lot I can say about Ponyo, per say, at least not as much as other Ghibli movies I love like Spirited Away (my fave movie evarr), but I think this movie combined with like. Finding Nemo, Animal Jam, and going to the Houston Aquarium combined are probably why I love marine biology so much now.

02/29 - Death Note

The anime, to be specific, for the first time. Yeah, I can see why this became such a big thing with fujoshis. I get it, I understand now. I'm sorry L, I didn't know your game.

Death Note is overall both an anime of its time, and an absolute classic you should be watching. It's engaging, it's dramatic, it's funny, and there's so many points where your just like "damn are they gonna bone" about the two characters the authors 100% had no intention to be seen in that way.

It's only real problems come from the authors also having no fucking clue what to do with women in the story, and making pretty annoyingly shallow characters that get sidelined really hard. The final arc is also a bit head scratching, but it makes for good drama, so I can't really complain, even if I remember a lot less of it. Great show, great ending. Where's my Misa & Rem yuri manga series.

he really is just fucking jeff the killer huh

02/29 - Promare

Watched this with my girlfriend on a whim, cus we wanted to watch a movie together. I've been a very lowkey TRIGGER studios fan since I was a kid, watching Kill la Kill when I was way too young to be watching shows that crazy boobed, but it did definitely contribute to my transgender-ness, so you can't fault it there (you can fault it for a lot of other things though). No matter what though, when TRIGGER just randomly came out with a full feature length movie released in theaters, I was pretty interested. Which is why I didn't watch it for years.

After watching it though? Yea, that was really fun. It's not much in the way of story, very basic Minority Allegory story I think, but it's all to make way for extremely crazy action scenes and homages to all their favorite mecha anime, which like, yea props they did a great job. Character design is extremely fun, environments are super colorful, animation is what you'd expect from TRIGGER (good), and there's a lot of man tits this time around. I recommend it!

03/04 - 2001: A Space Odyssey

I'll be so fucking honest I watched this on my phone on a plane ride and I don't fucking know anything that happened. I think it was good?? I think it made sense??? I really wanted to fall asleep but I really wanted to watch the movie. It felt like it was simultaneously 4 hours long and 30 minutes. I think I should probably watch it again. I don't know why I chose to watch it on a plane. But hey, I did!

watching this shit while half awake on a dark plane felt like i was in another fucking dimension. what the hell happened

03/08 - Fortnite Chapter 5: Season 1

Hey Fortnite, I play that game! Sometimes.

I've been pretty consistently "playing" Fortnite since Chapter 2: Season 5, and I do really like the game. I love the gameplay, I love all the stupid crossovers, I loved the story, it was just a really fun time!

Well, up until like half way through Chapter 3 at least. The problem with Fortnite is that, no matter what, in the end of the day, it's still owned by Epic Games, and that means at some point, shits gonna get sloppy. I won't go over my whole history with how I feel Fortnites been on a decline since Chapter 3, but I can at least say i was pretty fucking checked out most of Chapter 4. I really didn't like it.

So, coming back on for Chapter 5? Oh shit this game is actually fun I forgot. Played a shit ton that season, actually finished the main battle pass for once, had so much fun with all the new things they added, it really feels like Fortnites back.

Oh... and there's that LEGO mode... and that rockband mode... and there's racing I guess... I didn't really touch them much but they're neat... They were pushing those modes pretty hard, I hope this isn't a sign of something to come... I'm sure they'll keep up the momentum for the next season right? Battle Royale is totally back, right?

i ended up staying up till like the last day grinding in creative to get this emote. im so glad i can make perfect cell do the bird is the word dance now.

03/12 - King of Crusher

I beat this game over on my twitch, you can catch me live playing obscure games every so often each month!! Check it out and give me money! I said mostly everything I wanted to say about it on stream, but this game was just a really fascinating little art project that was both really frustrating and really funny to play. I really wanna find more little gems like this to play, it's so ODD but fun.

03/15 - Animal Crossing (Movie)

Watched this movie as apart of a movie night with my groupchat and it was adorables so cutes! I don't think there's really anything I COULD say about this movie, but it does really make me wish Nintendo was more willing to make more stuff like it. Just a really well animated fun anime movie that's not trying to be this big thing.

the ending caught me completely off fucking guard though

03/17 - Unpacking

Similar to Animal Crossing, I don't really have a lot to say about this game besides so cutes! The story told through the environment was super adorable and I really do think back to this game a lot in a very emotional way.

That being said, I wish it was a tad longer for how expensive it was, as great as the art was lol

If you can find it on sale though, go play it!!

i was playing with my girlfriend and we ended up interpreting the main character as really hating her boyfriend. my fucking Pig of a husband wont let me put my posters on the wall. my Pigly husband. i need to Kill my Meat Pig of a Husband.

03/17 - Pizza Tower (The Noise Update)

In complete tonal contrast to Unpacking, I beat the Noise Update in Pizza Tower right after. It was, like Pizza Tower, really good, but not without its flaws.

In the time since I've played Pizza Tower, I've reflected a lot on what I love about the game and what I honestly don't care much for. I've been playing demos since the very first public one, and I've loved watching it evolve, but if there's one bit of context I've gotten that shapes how I look at the game, it's that the games creator has a really big issue with having a lot of ideas for stuff, and not really thinking about how they fit in together.

Pizza Tower is like, a REALLY good game, don't get me wrong. The movement is borderline perfect, the level design is consistently fun and flows well, the graphics are unmatched in how expressive they are, the music is some of my fave from the entire medium, but if there's one thing really holding back Pizza Tower it's that lack of focus, and I think you can boil that down to the core game design of levels.

Pizza Tower is easy to compare to Wario Land, given that's its primary inspiration, but I think it's much more akin to Sonic, which is also a major inspiration for it. The problem is, it definitely tries to apply Wario Lands brand of "wario can be anything" to sonics "levels can be anything". Sonic levels are all about super quick flashy levels you can blast through, each one having a gimmick unique to the level that you learn, master, and then use throughout the multiple zones. On the other end, Wario Land presents you with these large winding interior-like levels that you slowly (or somewhat quickly in the case of entries like WL4), navigate and solve puzzles throughout for treasure, with your main solution typically landing on how Wario himself can be controlled using various gimmicks unique to him. Your presented a gimmick, and then you remember that gimmick for the future so you can use it to solve a future puzzle. In many ways, these two games can almost feel like the opposite kind of game, only linked by being sidescrolling platformers where you can bust through walls. Pizza Tower, despite that, tries to be both, and in many ways succeeds, but cant avoid the problems that inherently comes with trying to be these two very polar ends.

Basically, I just feel theres a lot of really forgettable levels and an overall problem with gimmicks getting absolutely no chance to be explored so you can never really be rewarded in basic play for mastering a gimmick, other then replaying a level multiple times. I think less gimmicks but more places to use the same ones would be really great.

Talking about the Noise update specifically, it was just a fun retake on the main game, and made for a fun replay after not playing Pizza Tower for about a year since release. I find it really fascinating how even after changing how the entire game controls, the levels still work with minimal changes. I'm looking forward to see if they decide to change it any more in the future, and I hope whatever comes after Pizza Tower can be a much more focused experience.

03/17 - Hiveswap Act 1 (Replay)

See; Homestuck Reread. Been here a billion times, here to show my girl this time. I'll probably scream about this one later. <3

03/20 - Rescue Shot

See; King of Crusher. Another stream game! This one I liked even more, though I Really wish I had a lightgun (or could fix the mouse controls on my emulator). Incredibly adorable game with insanely good music, check out the VOD if your interested!

03/25 - Super Mario Bros. (1993)

I feel like in recent time, people have been hyping up this movie as like, secretly a really good film that people only hate because it's not a Mario movie. I'll be real, after watching it for the first time, I don't see it at all, I think this is just an incredibly funny bad movie.

Beyond not being Mario, which really doesn't matter at all, it kind of just felt like a fever dream of a script. Things kept HAPPENING there wasn't a single second to break I felt like I was in a nightmare hell dimension being blasted with insane plot beats and I couldn't keep track of anything. Without the Mario branding this would be like 10x LESS comprehensible, but good lord.

Maybe this is like, an arthouse film, and I need to watch it 12 more times and be high at least half those times, but idk I think it might actually be bad guys. Big Bertha a baddie though.

03/29 - The Croods

Another movie night with friends, we got the PRIVILEGE of watching The Croods. I saw it once when I was a kid, but I didn't really remember anything about it other then there was a character named Grug.

I now realize that the reason I remember this character is because this movie literally lied and he's the main character. It really tries to set up that the conventionally attractive main teenage girl is the protagonist but no this movie is 100% about Grug and it's so fucking Particular. Why pretend it's not about him when he becomes our sole point of view for half the film? Why pretend its about the teenage girl when she basically doesn't have any dialogue for the last 25% of the movie? What is this movie trying to say, politically? This movies a thinker. I think its a bigger thinker then 2001, honestly.

04/12 - Police Story

The first Jackie Chan movie I've ever seen and damn what a fucking good one to start with. Insanely entertaining, incredibly funny, and just a really great film! I don't think I have much else to say about it other then gush about each and every scene and how well made it is, but it really makes me wish we could get movies like this more. Just a practical effect wonderland where the main guy is just having fun with people on set. It's great.

hes kind of a babygirl

04/13 - Con Air

Actually the first time I've seen this movie, surprisingly, given my attachment to the media that has essentially co-opted this film. It wasn't good, like at all, but it was very very entertaining with friends. I didn't expect it to get so much into like, weird racism stuff?? Characters just keep appearing and getting named it's so fucking weird. What was the deal with Steve Buscemi's character, I feel like scenes were cut or something. Nick Cage was incredibly funny as the lead. It's the thing you watch with friends on 4/13, what else can I say.

why did he do this

04/19 - The Princess Bride

Honestly, I thought this one was a rewatch when we put it on in the GC, but I think I just remembered watching clips of it or seeing half of it on TV as a kid, so I'll just consider this a first time watch. It's really good! Just a fun simple movie full of extremely witty jokes. It's kind of like watching a Simpsons episode for the first time and getting to a part where they say something and you go "oh i've heard this quoted like a fucking million times, i get it now". If you haven't seen this movie, whattarya doin, go watch it!

i feel like were it not for andre being basically irreplaceable we would have a netflix reboot about these three right now. maybe that does exist already.

04/21 - PokeRogue

Half this thread is Pokemon and as I already said, I'm a roguelike freak. This game is like crack for me. That being said it's just alright. I think I'll be willing to judge it more once it's more finished and not just Pokemon in the most barebones form imaginable, coding wise. It's the basis for an extremely addicting game, and I plan on sinking even more hours into it soon. Extra points for using PMD music as well <3

im only just now finding out the rival is gendered. hey cunts let me play as a girl and get the girl rival or you hate me ok?

04/22 - The Mask (2023)

Now you may be wondering, The Mask? The movie from ten TRILLION years ago staring the homunculi known only as Jim Carrey? You'd be a fool to assume this. I am talking instead about Connor O' Malley's current best work, THAT The Mask.

There's not much I want to say about it, because I just think it's good, but if there's one thing I can say it's that Joker (2019) should be fucking embarrassed in how hard it was stood up by this short film.

Content warning for pretty heavy themes and a lot of crass jokes.

04/23 - Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) & Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Rewatch)

In preparation for the Knuckles show (which I still haven't finished), I decided it'd be nice to rewatch these two films for the first time. I haven't seen the first one since I watched it for the first time before Sonic 2, and I haven't seen Sonic 2 since I saw it at an early screening. What do I think of them now in retrospect?

Yeah, not very good films. Very fun! But damn, yea wow, I think with enough time to look back on them, there's a lot I really don't care for in them, and I'm not just talking about the human scenes.

I've been having a lot of conversations about adaptations lately, so I'll mostly summarize my thoughts here. In making an adaptation, your one mission in my eyes is maintaining what made the original loved. Not good, because that's not really a quantifiable thing. Not faithfully, because I feel you can make a good adaptation without being faithful. All you need to truly keep is the Reason people came to that piece of media originally, in my eyes. Whether that means going as hard as you can with something like The Last of Us, which essentially 1 to 1 recreates an entire video game, or be much more out there like with One Piece (Netflix), which essentially tells the same story but with wildly different circumstance and aesthetic.

The Sonic movies, in my eyes, simply don't capture that. In the first movie alone, Sonic and Eggman are essentially our only ties to the games, which is fine as long as they can nail them right, right? And, as many before me have really pointed out, no they don't really at all. Sonic isn't really like Sonic at all, he's a much younger, innocent, and hyperactive "version" of the character, and I say version in quotations because I don't really feel like with those adjectives removed he'd be all that similar to Sonic still. This is basically a new character, and that's fine, but I'd be hard pressed to say it captures what brought people to Sonic. Similarly, Eggman is very much not really similar to any iteration to Eggman at all (except maybe AoSTH?) A lot of people love Jim Carrey Eggman, and I totally get why, but man he really has never clicked with me. I think I like canon Eggman too much to let go, it's over for me.

But I'm sure anyone who's been around Sonic long enough has heard a trillion complaints about the first movie. In rewatching the second movie, I found that it moved way faster then I remembered, and just had way less.. character? Tails is so incredibly shoehorned in, which is a common complaint, but it really felt like at times Sonic was too?

In Sonic games, Sonic isn't exactly a character we put ourselves in the shoes of. Sonic is like this cool older brother we're just along with for the ride. If anything we insert ourselves (as kids) in Tails' shoes. Sonic doesn't really have an internal monologue, nor does he really tend to need a big shonen arc to overcome in his games. He's very much this vessel to explore other characters, to see how people respond to his brash and cocky personality. In that way, Sonic works really well, but can struggle really hard when he's placed all alone. He needs people to not only bounce off of, but to do the emotional side of the story in his stead. With the Sonic movies, we get this very very diffrent form of Sonic being put into this scenarios the canon Sonic wouldn't typiclaly find himself in, and see how he acts. It can work for original stories, because it's basically an original character, but that's the struggle with Sonic 2, and I worry Sonic 3 as well. They aren't fully original stories. Sonic 2 is a loose adaptation of Sonic 3 in most ways, with Knuckles being the true second character, and Tails being mostly to the side. Knuckles acts basically perfectly, like yea that's Knuckles, no notes there outside of maybe not taking his heritage seriously enough, but that's him. So how do you write this movie sonic into this adaptation with a Knuckles whos playing it basically straight like the games? Well... I mean, you kind of just... You, don't, really? Sonic is really just There sometimes, to say quips and to move the story forward. With exception to the scene where he's having a feeling jam with Knux, which I like, Sonic is very much Just There, and it feels really odd. In the games, this works because of his aforementioned status as this guy your along with for the ride, a dude whos too cool to even be the protagonist, but Sonic Movie Sonic IS the protagonist. He's meek and still learning and is far from the asshole we know in the games and comics, but implanted into a games storyline, he just doesn't have much he can do. He can't be that too cool guy that let's his friends do the talking, because he's already been set up as this superhero esque main guy who needs to learn a lesson by the end of the film, or overcome some kind of arc. It's just all odd in retrospect, and I really wonder how they're gonna tackle it in Sonic 3, especially without all the characters that make Sonic Adventure 2s gears go.

i also couldnt stop staring at his teeth in the movie. i really dont like the teeth idk why im just now noticing them.

04/25 - Pseudoregalia

Knocked this game off my backlog and I'm really happy I did! Beat the game with all the time trials done and I really do love it. I want to call it the perfect length, but really I think it was just a bit too short and I hope we can get more content in the future, I'm definitely itching for more levels and maybe even more time trials.

I can't think of much else to say about the game. I don't think I picked up on the story much at all, I'll probably have to ask my girlfriend about it sometime, but it's not exactly a big part of the game. The music was absolutely fantastic, and I adore all of the costumes for the main character. I like her design, for many obvious reasons.

For further criticism besides length though, combat feels pretty useless. There's really no point in the game where I ever feel like I have to or even SHOULD fight, and the final boss ends up losing a lot of impact because of it. Enemies just become a hazard in navigating the world in a way that isn't particularly fun. Similarly, there were a few upgrades that had maybe one use ever and I don't even know why they're there. I think this game could benefit a lot from playing even harder into it's all too obvious inspirations and just getting a bunch of RPG mechanics and more RPG inspired elements in here. Give me Symphony of the Bunny-Cat-Goatgirl, full on.

I also watched madagascar 2 with friends, but i don't even feel like counting it. watch this fucked up compressed video instead.

THAT'S IT FOR Q1 2024!! I'm really trying to look at a lot this year, and I hope to have EVEN MORE TO TALK ABOUT in 4 months! maybe ill do it even earlier because damn this was a fucking lot to write. If you read this far thank you, I'll be sending you a giant mettalic muscular butler sir in the mail as thanks.

[dearestones]

Trouble in the Bathroom (Jade Leech and Reader)

Warnings: N/A. 

Anonymous Request: Hi devin, i wish you all my congrats on the 750 :)) i hope the enormity of the number hits you! Like a train! Politely! Because the crafting of your words and character introspection is truly something to love :) a feet kicking, hair tearing, love. Thank you so much for all you write!!! With that, may i please request Jade Leech and "Did you want to be alone?" I was thinking the reader as the one asking the question, but whatever works :)) have a wonderful day <333

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It’s not often when you find yourself with a bit of free time all to yourself. On most days, it seemed like you were forever bombarded by tasks that needed completing. Sometimes, it was the Headmage giving jobs tasks because he couldn’t be bothered to fulfill his duties to the school. Other times, it was because your friends needed help and had mastered the art of guilt-tripping you into doing them. You can’t say you were mad that you were made to do these things, but you would be lying if you were all right with lots of people taking advantage of you. 

Had you been stronger, you would have stood up for yourself more, but at the moment, survival was at the very top of your priorities. 

Today, you decided to leave the comfort of Ramshackle and take a walk around Night Raven College. You were well acquainted with most of the campus grounds, but you found that there was always something worth discovering. The last time you had gone on a walk, you found an abandoned classroom with a busted lock that you would often use as a little hideaway whenever you were feeling overwhelmed. On another occasion, you had wandered a fair way into the forested area behind Ramshackle and found that the silence there, while eerie, was peaceful and free from the prying eyes of your fellow students. 

Over time, your wanderings had culminated in a vast network of sanctuaries that you could retire should you become weary of life as the magicless Prefect. 

For now, you wanted to see where your legs would take you. 

After deciding upon a direction and aimlessly walking forward, you found yourself heading towards the main campus building. Perhaps you would find a passageway behind a painting or maybe even a door that could lead you to another world! You could only hope; the last time you checked, the Headmage was up to his ears in reference texts and maps, but you were gradually losing faith in him. As you made your way up the many steps to the school doors, you found that there were a few other students milling about. 

There were no particular dorms that dominated the students available, but you were quick to pick up on the fact that they were part of some club. What was it again? One of those culture clubs with a niche interest in mind? You apologized for interrupting their impromptu meeting before you began wandering the many winding halls within the main campus building. 

As always, your curiosity led to your exploring the different classrooms along the west wing of the castle. Most of the classrooms were left unlocked and if you were to knock and open the door, you were either greeted with empty desks and chairs or you would find yourself ducking out the door with bashful apologies leaving your lips. There were even two classrooms–two!–in which you found yourself interrupting professors in the middle of a private tutoring session or grading a series of papers. Thankfully, the professors were mostly gracious and forgiving, and as a bonus, they were teachers you didn’t normally associate with because they mostly taught third year subjects. 

As you braved the hallways again, taking time to rattle the doorknobs here and there, you caught sight of someone slipping into a nearby men’s bathroom. You happened to catch a glimpse of a broad back and teal hair before the door shut rapidly behind him, the sound of the door slamming reverberating in his wake. 

You blinked, a little stunned. 

There were very few people who fit that profile: tall, broad shouldered, and with a head of teal hair. 

If your instincts were right, then maybe… 

It had to be one of the Leech twins.

One question still remained, though: Which one? 

As you traipsed through the hallway, taking the time to take a quick peek inside, you pondered your situation. Even though you spent a few days on Octavinelle’s wrong side after the release of the exam scores, you were confident that you were… amicable. 

On good terms. 

Sure, there were days when you could see one or both of the twins skulking at the edges of your periphery, but they didn’t bother you and you didn’t try to antagonize them either. In fact, there were times when you had enough money in your pocket that you even went to the Mostro Lounge of your own free will. If they were your servers, they often teased you, but treated you as well as they would with any other guest. 

(Was it because Azul was using them to keep an eye on you? Perhaps, but again, you were still on relatively good terms. As long as you didn’t sign any golden contracts, you would be fine). 

Well, if either Leech twin came out of the bathroom before you could leave this particular floor, you decided you would say hello and see where that would take you. After all, you didn’t have much to do anyway and it was guaranteed that either of the Leeches were keen on making things interesting. 

As you reached the end of the hallway, the final classroom door revealed a student from Pomefiore taking a nap on one of the desks, a pile of textbooks serving as his pillow. 

You stifled a laugh and began to leave the floor altogether when you began to hear a strange sound. At first, you thought you were hearing things, but as the sound became clearer, you began to realize that it was distinctly…Wet. And heavy. Almost as if something was slapping against the floor in a frenzied and confused manner. 

You stopped in your tracks, instincts somewhat honed after several incidences of Overblot. If there was one thing you learned from this school, it was that you couldn’t play the hero. At least, not all the time. If this was a situation where a student was Overblotting or something close to that severity in nature, you needed to get help. You were a Prefect, sure, but that meant nothing. 

You were human and worse, magicless. 

It was that point, when you were only seconds away from bolting and finding the nearest professor for help, that you found yourself stalling in front of the bathroom door. 

This was where the loud, heavy sounds were coming from. 

This was where one of the Leech twins had made his grand entrance only minutes before. 

And this was where you were going to leave and have someone else deal with the problem. 

Yet–

You couldn’t do that. Night Raven College’s culture had taught you many things about self preservation and had hardened your kindness to something resembling steely pragmatism, but you couldn’t leave anyone you knew in trouble. It was in your nature. It was a calling for you: you had to, you needed to help. 

Carefully, just like you did with the classroom doors from moments ago, you knocked on the bathroom door. Almost instantly, the sounds stopped. 

But then another one started. 

It started out as a growl before it was followed by a chittering sound. Chills ran up your spine as you heard something drag across the floor, as if whoever was on the other side was trying to carry something heavy and wet along the tiles. As alien and foreign these sounds were in conjunction with each other, you knew that you couldn’t just leave. You were given a job as Beast Tamer by the Headmage (whatever that was), and that usually meant that you couldn’t leave things like this alone. 

For all you knew, one of the Leeches could be in trouble–a thought that never seemed plausible until now. 

You knocked again.

The growling and chittering grew louder, almost manic.

“Hey, it’s me!” You raised your voice, careful to remain placating and calm. On the other side, you heard the growl abruptly cease, almost as if the one who growled was surprised. That’s good. You can deal with surprise. “Ah, are you hurt? Can I come in?”

A pause where all you heard was the sound of something slapping once more on the floor before someone deeply sighed. 

“I am in no condition to open the door, Prefect.” 

Ah, with the low, professional tone of voice paired with the formality of using your title, you knew it was Jade. Relaxed because you now knew who was on the other side, you pulled out your phone from your pocket, a quick call to Azul already on your mind. 

Still, though, you wanted to make sure. 

“Is it okay if I text Azul? Or maybe Floyd?” At Jade’s confirmation, you punched in a text message to both Azul and Floyd. Hopefully, one of them understood the urgency of this situation. Satisfied that someone outside of yourself knew that Jade was in trouble, you sat with your back against the door, careful not to accidentally open it. “Did you want to be alone? I can leave if you want me to.”

For a moment, you thought that maybe Jade had fallen asleep or was going to ignore you completely, but eventually, you heard that same, horribly wet and heavy sound drag along the floor. And then–

“Do keep quiet when you open the door. We wouldn’t want to disturb the student sleeping in one of the classrooms.”

Brushing aside the fact that Jade knew that you weren’t the only one on this floor besides himself, you stood up from your crouched position and opened the door. Like approaching a wild animal, you inched the door open slowly and as quietly as possible. There was only so much patience Jade had, and right now, in a situation as precarious as this, you didn’t want to chance getting hurt. Floyd may be the twin to revel in his violent tendencies, but something inside of you knew that you didn’t want to cross Jade today of all days. 

As you moved inside the bathroom, the door quickly shutting behind you, you kept your eyes low so as to give Jade a semblance of privacy should he change his mind. The first thing you noticed was that the floor was slick with water and globules of what looked like slime. Or was it mucus? You couldn’t tell because the lights within the bathroom had been turned off, the only source of fluorescence coming from a small window high on the wall. 

Furthermore, as your eyes traced the tiles beneath your feet, you could hear the telltale sound of running water… which was accompanied by the horrifying visual of all of the sinks in the bathroom overflowing with a stream that spilled over the porcelain sinks and onto the floor. 

Instinctively, you ran to the sinks, mindful of the growing puddles under your feet that wet your socks and the hem of your uniform. However, before you could turn off one of the faucets, you felt rather than heard a monstrous mass slither behind you, the same dragging sound in full clarity. 

In a voice that was more growl than intelligible speech, the monstrous mass hissed, “Don’t touch it.”

It was Jade. 

Your hand, which had been confidently pressed onto the faucet’s knob, shook as you practically tore yourself away from it–as if you had accidentally touched a searing hot stove. As you forced your arms to relax at your sides, you raised your head and stared directly into the mirror. 

Behind you, Jade was curled into himself, as if he was trying to make himself appear taller. However, the illusion fell flat because the way he curled in on himself looked uncomfortable bordering on painful. You had seen his true form a few times before, but on those occasions, he was safely in his element: free and sprawling. Here, in the dank confines of a bathroom that could only afford him puddles and a makeshift waterfall, you could see that he was struggling. 

You turned around and took a few steps before bending before him, your lips pursed into a thin line. 

“And here I thought Floyd was the irresponsible one.”

Jade chuckled, or at least, he tried to, but you noticed that the gills on his sides were flaring and heaving with every breath he took. Talking, or actions close to talking must have hurt him! No wonder he was so volatile even when you sent for help!

Before he could say anything or growl again, you took off your uniform blazer and headed towards the sinks. The cloth was easy to soak, but it was not an easy task to wrap your blazer around Jade’s sides. Perhaps it was old instincts rearing in him again–to not trust someone who clearly had the upper hand even if he was an apex predator in his hometown–but you were wary and a little bit insulted that he would think that you would hurt him. 

Scolding him gently, you combatted the hissing and swift snapping of his jaws with a stern look. “Come on, the cloth is soaked and filled with water. It’ll keep the skin around your gills moist.” You watched as he took in your logic before he begrudgingly nodded his head in defeat. 

No words yet, but you assumed that he would be teasing you and your attempts at intimidation later. 

Carefully, you wrapped the blazer around his side after rehydrating it with more water. Once he was moist again, you directed him to slide or flop closer to the sinks so that he could lay under the makeshift waterfalls. It exhausted him to move closer to the sink, the massive bulk of his body hindering his speed and power, but you were available to push or drag him around the tail. 

“Geeze,” you muttered more to yourself than to him. “What’s the point of having the sinks overflow if you won’t stay underneath them?”

“Because,” Jade gasped, his head tilted back so he could allow the water to flow in and around the fins that replaced his ears, “I didn’t want to block the doorway.” His bright golden eye flashed open and pinned you to the floor with his piercing, knowing gaze. “You wanted to stay, correct?”

Before you knew it, you dashed some water from the sink and straight into his face, not at all caring how he spluttered from the sudden barrage. “You didn’t want to be alone,” you taunted. 

His tail whipped behind you, muscles thick and strong, but not once did you feel like you were in danger. 

Jade’s eyes seemed to soften, but you dare not think that you were out of the woods yet. The gold in his eye was all the more deadly in the low lighting of the bathroom. “Violence doesn’t become you, Prefect.”

“Quit with the teasing and I won’t resort to violence.”

He bobbed his head in concession, a low hum emitting from his throat. “Then I suppose I should thank you for your services rendered this afternoon.”

“Oh, hush. You’re in no condition to speak now, even if you have running water. We can talk about payment later.”

Jade’s smile grew cold, but wide nonetheless. “So the Prefect does have fangs after all. May I have a hint as to what you want in return?”

You plopped on the ground, too tired of crouching at his side after your physical exertion and the tension that lined this encounter. Your pants and socks had long since been soaked, but now, underneath the sink’s waterfall, you were waterlogged as if you spent your time in one of the Octavinelle pools. 

“You either wash this uniform or you get me a new one.” One of your fingers darted out as if to poke the blazer that still lay on his gills, but a warning growl made you stop in your tracks. You rolled your eyes, but obeyed the command. “Also, I want a promise that you won’t forget your transformation potion again. I already have had heart attacks with the Overblots. I don’t need you to add to that stress.”

“Two wishes for only one act of kindness?” He whispered the word kindness as if he was uttering something foreign to him. Perhaps it was. “You ask for too much.”

You shrugged before pinning him with a malicious grin. “I learned from the best.”

He chuckled before he finally allowed his head to rest along the tiled floor. Vulnerable now, you could easily step on his windpipe or gouge out his gills if you were quick enough. 

But this act of trust spoke volumes. 

“It’s a deal then, Prefect.”

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

TWISTED WONDERLAND MASTERLIST

[droughtofapathy]

The Gilded Age's Broadway Divas: Aurora Fane (Kelli O'Hara)

Beloved by all, Aurora Fane enjoys a powerful position in Mrs. Astor's New York. Having suitably recovered from impending financial ruin last season, this season, Aurora has done some ill-fated matchmaking, worn some fantastic hats, and provided beautiful window dressing to scenes where she just sits there and looks pretty.

One of Broadway's (few) leading sopranos, Kelli O'Hara is a dying breed. As trends shift towards a more pop/rock sound, and classical musical theatre becomes a thing of the past, Kelli nevertheless finds her niche. A seven-time Tony nominee, Kelli has won Best Leading Actress in a Musical for the 2015 revival of The King and I. You'll recall another Gilded Age Diva who won for that same role some years prior. A proshot of the NT Live production can be found online. It is a gorgeous shoot, even if I take issue with that show as a whole.

She has also been nominated for Kiss Me, Kate (2019), The Bridges of Madison County (2014), and The Light in the Piazza (2005). Ironically, though Aurora Fane supports The Academy, Kelli is a classically trained opera singer who has appeared on the Met Opera stage three times, and will play Laura Brown in an encore run of The Hours this spring. (See my breakdown post over costumes here.)

However, prior to her opera appearance, Kelli will be starring in the new Broadway musical Days of Wine and Roses for a limited 16-week run, opening on January 28th. Kelli has been nominated for every role she has played since 2005, and this will almost certainly be no different. Booked and busy.

#1: "Shall We Dance?" The King and I (2015)

Kelli's voice is otherworldly angelic. That much we already know very well. The King and I opened in 2015 at the Vivian Beaumont Theatre at Lincoln Center, the third musical Kelli has starred in at that venue. The Beaumont is, of course, right next to The Met Opera, and the only Broadway theater outside the theatre district in Midtown.

As Anna Leonowens, Kelli travels to Siam to teach the children and wives of the king how to speak English. Orientalism aside, the show is a classic Rodgers and Hammerstein, and the score is divine in Kelli's mouth. Fun fact: Kelli's replacement was Marin Mazzie in one of her last onstage roles. Marin was the Passion co-star and dear friend to Donna Murphy, our Mrs. Astor.

This video is from the 2015 Tony performance and showcases the incredible quick change Kelli makes between singing "Getting to Know You" and "Shall We Dance?" aided by a team of unbelievable dressers. It is a marvel to witness. As is Ruthie Ann Miles, Kelli's co-star who recently performed in the Encores! production of Light in the Piazza.

#2: "What More Do I Need?" Take Me to the World: A Sondheim 90th Birthday Celebration (2020)

In 2020, despite a global pandemic, the theatre community still found a way to honor Stephen Sondheim's milestone 90th birthday with an online concert. Kelli performed a song from Saturday Night, Sondheim's first professional musical that was slated for Broadway in 1955, but was scrapped. It only got its New York premiere in 2000. This particular number is a cabaret favorite, and Kelli is an absolute delight with just a camera and digital accompaniment.

Fun fact: it wasn't until this particular performance that I truly started to appreciate the wonder that is Kelli O'Hara. I had previously seen her in concert just that March, and loved her, of course, but I have a complex relationships with sopranos. I now recognize that I love mature sopranos, but it's the ingenues I can't listen to without wincing.

#3: "They Don't Let You In the Opera" (2016)

Lest we think Kelli is limited in her range and style, this song was written especially for her to showcase her vast talent and comedic timing. Kelli, an Oklahoma farmgirl, isn't the sort of person you'd expect to be both classically trained and country literate.

Kelli, who has been typecast as refined and often repressed characters who go through harrowing emotional experiences, much like Aurora Fane, is more than capable of bringing a rollicking comedy to the mix.

This number is a favorite in Kelli's concert repertoire. There isn't much more to say, except that you need to witness its hilarity for yourself.

#4: “Heaven? Somebody else’s heaven?” The Hours (2023)

Speaking of opera, here is an excerpt from a scene in Act II where Laura Brown has fled to a hotel room to contemplate some very serious courses of action. Kelli, alongside soprano Renee Fleming and mezzo-soprano Joyce DiDonato, makes up a trio of phenomenal women in Kevin Putts' adaptation of the book and movie.

The Met Opera theatre seats nearly 4,000 people across six levels. The performers do not use body mics or amplification of any kind, but rather rely on intense vocal training to be heard across the theater. For this reason, alongside the vastly different vocal techniques and styles, musical theatre actors rarely cross over into opera, and vice versa. Notable exceptions include Renee Fleming, Kelli's Light in the Piazza co-star Victoria Clark, and Mary Beth Peil, who made her musical theatre debut in The King and I as yet another Miss Anna, hers in 1985.

#5: "So in Love," Kiss Me, Kate (2019)

Starring in yet another Golden Age musical revival, Kelli brings a different take on Lilli Vanessi, a glamorous movie star in a turbulent relationship. Kelli's vocal talent, of course, speaks for itself. For Kelli, this role was a tribute to her dear friend, the late Marin Mazzie, who had passed away some months before the show opened. Marin, who replaced Kelli in The King and I, had played this same role in the 1999 Broadway revival to great acclaim. In her first entrance of the show, Kelli wore a costume that featured the very same hat Marin wore in her show.

Though this video is beloved, my personal favorite rendition can be heard below. It was taken at a concert Kelli put on at the 92Y in New York last February. In it, Kelli sings for and to Marin, and the entire theatre wept.

Bonus: "Back to Before," Ragtime Reunion Concert (2023)

The role of Mother was originally workshopped by Donna Murphy in Toronto in the early 90s, but she left to do King and I, which worked out well for her. In came dear friend Marin Mazzie, who originated the role on Broadway, and established a precedent no other has been able to top. Also in that cast? Audra McDonald as Sarah, for which she won a Tony, of course.

In 2023, after years of pandemic-related delays, they staged a one-night reunion concert of this special show. And who better to take on Marin's iconic role than Kelli O'Hara? Listen to her "Back to Before" here, and then do yourself a favor and run, don't walk, to listen to Marin's.

[not-poignant]

1 & 13 for palmarosa! I'm so hooked on it and it's lovely to immerse myself in such a crunchy, well-written dynamic :3

Oooo less go, Palmarosa time :D (I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

So, I looked for Astarion fics early on and saw a lot of Astarion/Halsin, Astarion/player and general pairings I wasn't super interested in, or scenarios I wasn't very interested in. I tried a few, didn't bookmark any, and was like 'hmmm, I expected some more angsty fics for Astarion.' At the time - which to be fair was quite some time ago and the fandom has grown since - everything biased towards very fluffy, or very dark, but where Astarion had the power and was the top, and it was just not quite what I was looking for.

I knew I wanted to do something with Astarion, but I didn't ship him with anyone. I don't ship him with Gale, I didn't want to write an Astarion/player fic, I don't ship him with Halsin, etc. (I am playing an Astarion/Gale run now, but mostly because I enjoy their bitchiness and not because I truly ship them). But when we started spending more time with Raphael I started thinking 'hmmMMMM WHAT IF....'

I looked for fics, there was like 3 at the time (literally, mine is the fourth in the rarepair on AO3), and it was like 'well.... ehhh.... we'll see.' At this point I knew what Astarion's endings were - good and bad, according to Larian - and I didn't like either of them. I was kind of salty in advance that some companions get very clear cut happy endings, and others get sort of...shafted either way. And around that time I was like well... if we take Astarion's 'good' ending (according to Larian) and then actually give him the things I wanted him to have at the end (sans my player character, because I don't like player/X fics), then I could do something with that.

I knew I was shipping him with Raphael, but I actually spent a fairly long time thinking about how to solve the sunlight issue, and what Raphael would want in exchange for that, and how much that would actually matter to him, and why he would offer something like that, and what that would mean for a run where he was killed. I made a lot of thorny choices early on, like killing off Hope (she survives in my run) so Raphael could return to the House of Hope, etc.

But yeah! Basically a very classic 'once more fandom wasn't delivering a weird specific niche thing I wanted in any pairing, so I found a weird rarepair that almost no one was writing, and decided to do what I wanted in that little corner' scenario + 'I love BG3 as a game but fuck what they did with Astarion's character right at the end, I'm going to make a third ending just for me.'

...I'm both really stubborn and pretty weird actually when it comes to writing fanfiction *hangs head*

I'm just kind of obsessed with Astarion, he's a very specific kind of character 'type' for me (he gives me Felix Harrowgate from Doctrine of Labyrinths vibes and frankly I wrote a similar-ish fic about him too at least in spirit). Raphael I find fascinating. Because we get so much less information about him, I can put more of my own needs for the fanfiction into him, and develop his back story in a more robust manner in a way that suits the pairing. Him being a cambion, being able to add monster fucker elements, being really certain mentally that he's like... that he doesn't have a very 'classically' human way of thinking, makes him extremely interesting to me as a love interest to write!

(Not gonna lie, part of me actively resents how fluffy fandom is getting, and I wanted to put more rape and dubcon into AO3 overall for Astarion in particular. Like, I want more angst and hurt/comfort etc. I get that his back story is tragic, but I also wanted to push that in a different direction, and I really love writing a character that's been through so much awfulness they become almost expectant of it? That's also a Felix Harrowgate vibe. It's fun kind of...guiding those characters specifically to a better place internally, and not just externally).

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

The Palmarosa playlist! I put it on every time I write for this story. Some songs I listen to more than others, Trench and Menace generally accompany me during the more sexual scenes for example. And I have put on the instrumentals for I Want To Live from the official BG3 soundtrack (by Borislav Slavov) on repeat for sections as well. I still am expanding the Palmarosa soundtrack but I have enough kind of music to also be comfortable writing the story as well. :D

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From this fanfiction meme!