#the turning point that was ep 6 is also full of charm

[btstranscription]

Transcription - Run BTS! 2015 EP.2 - [Best Man]

Note: As the edited-in captions and graphics are part of the charm of Run BTS, they will be included here as well. These, as well as actions, are denoted with [brackets].

All of them stand in a row in white shirts and black dress pants.

Jungkook: [with excited hand motions] Seven guys run and run again!

Yoongi: BTS' real variety [points at the camera with each word] show! Show! Show!

Namjoon: Run…

Everyone: BTS!

Run BTS intro plays.

Namjoon: Welcome, first time to BTS?

Namjoon: What do we have to do now?

Yoongi: Production team! What are we doing now?

Namjoon: [looks around] There is nothing here.

Staff: What do you think is the most important quality for man?

[For BTS, what quality makes the best man?]

Namjoon: Of course, one needs to be the tallest. [Height!]

Seokjin: No, to be the best man, one needs to be the strongest. [Power!]

Jimin: [mumbling] Don't do that.

Yoongi: You guys! Isn't it money? [Money SUGA's Dignity!]

All laugh and start talking.

Jimin: Ah, hyung!

Seokjin: [pulling on Yoongi's arm] Hyung-nim! Hyung-nim!

Yoongi is acting nonchalant like a cool guy.

Hoseok: Hyung, do you have money?

Yoongi: I have 100,000 won in my credit card. [Awkward, awkward]

All: [laughing] Ahh

Namjoon: Jung Kook, how about you? Quality for best man?

[For Jung Kook, best man is…?]

Jungkook: Well…

[Jung Kook… If it's you… You can summarize this well…]

Jungkook: Shouldn't he be good at everything?

[Our Jung Kook… Has no thoughts]

[Looks and body figure are basics for best guy. Now, man with awesome inner side is best man! Through various missions, best man will be selected from BTS!]

Preview clips are shown. Jimin purses his lips with red lipstick. Jungkook makes two v signs at the camera. Tae sits on a chair with a closed mouthful of something, and Jin sits on Taehyung's lap facing him and holding hands, also with a mouthful of something. Hoseok opens his mouth wide with lipstick on and presses his mouth to a glass sheet. Five of them fall over each other in musical chairs while two are sitting on the sidelines. An unknown member has a big golden thumbs up medal on their shirt.

[ROUND. 1 "Patience"]

Staff: "Run BTS!" Best Man! First quality is patience.

[Rules: 1) Member sits on the chair and hold water in his mouth. 2) Rest of the members use various items to tickle the member. 3) Member who holds water in the mouth the longest gets 1st!!!]

Namjoon: So! Let's begin it now.

All: All right.

Namjoon: Before we start, who will be the one to get tortured?

Yoongi: I will go first! [Raises Hand!]

Seokjin: I will be second! [Raises Hand!]

Jungkook: I will go third. [Raises Hand!]

Hoseok: Is this timing game?

Namjoon: I am 4th!

Jimin: Ah, 5th!

[Round 1] [Choosing order by timing game]

Hoseok: [suddenly] 6th one!

[ROUND. 1 "Patience" Test Order: 1. SUGA, 2. Jin, 3. Jung Kook, 4. RM, 5. Jimin, 6. j-hope, 7. V]

Yoongi: [sitting in a chair between two small tables] The best guy never gets shaken. [playful smug face] [Relaxed]

Yoongi now has a mouth full of water.

Namjoon and Hoseok: Begin!

[Hyenas immediately start attacking…]

Everyone immediately goes in to tickle Yoongi with paintbrushes. He tries very hard not to laugh.

[Struggle]

Yoongi falls off the chair and loses.

Staff: 1st player SUGA, 14 seconds! [SUGA → 14 seconds]

All: 14 seconds. 14 seconds??

Yoongi: I wanted to do more…

Taehyung: [holds up a hand with a white rubber glove on] This is all I need!

[Question mark speech bubble beside Yoongi's confused face]

Taehyung goes in for the kill, twisting Seokjin's nipple. Seokjin tries very hard not to spit out his water.

[Stutter…] [Stutter…] [V's intimate wooing touch…]

Yoongi: What are you doing? You guys are all weird!

Seokjin quickly turns to Taehyung and spews his water in Taehyung's face.

[Water Cannon Fired At V]

Seokjin's water attack is replayed twice.

[Kekekeke]

Everyone cracks up, including Seokjin who swallows the rest of his water. Hoseok laughs really big.

Seokjin: [incredulous face] Where… Where…

Hoseok: Wow! He spits water to his face!

Seokjin: [looking around for Taehyung] Where were you touching?! [How Dare You!]

Taehyung has run away to the back of the room and is leaning with his forehead against the wall.

[Jin → 12 seconds]

Yoongi: Doesn't it mean like start a fight?

[Facial water spout hurts… One person…]

Action shot is shown of the moment Seokjin spit out his water.

[When getting rid of pervert, spit water]

Namjoon: I just found out an amazing thing!

[New Realization!]

Someone: It's good.

Namjoon: If you think it's unpleasant, you can spit out!

Someone: That's right.

[Today's Life Info: If it's disturbing, spit water out!]

Hoseok: If it's disturbing, just spit water out.

It's now Jungkook's turn in the chair.

Namjoon and Hoseok: Begin!

[START!] [3rd Player Jung Kook!]

[As Soon As It Began!] [Runs to the prey]

All of them start tickling him and grabbing his nipples. Jungkook squirms and wiggles up and down out of his seat.

Yoongi: He's liking it? [Struggle…] [Struggle…]

Hoseok is blowing in his ear and Seokjin tickles the other ear with a paintbrush.

[Older members… Trying to win… VS. Youngest member… Full of competitiveness]

The scene fast forwards with Jungkook moving every which way but not spitting out his water.

Seokjin: [laughing] One second, everyone!!!

Jungkook stands up unsteadily with his mouth still full of water. Everyone is yelling.

Hoseok: We can't. We can't. We can't. [A Mess] You get it! You get it! You get first place!

Yoongi: Hey, you are number 1. Get first place!

Staff: Do you still have water in your mouth, Jung Kook?

Jungkook gurgles the water in his mouth. [Gurgling~]

[Jung Kook → 65 sec.]

It is Namjoon's turn.

Jimin: I'll just watch from the side.

Taehyung: I'll also watch from the side too.

Seokjin: One second!

[Suddenly… Members become soft sheep]

Seokjin: One second. Please promise us this!

Jimin: Don't hit us.

Seokjin: You will not hit us while struggling, right?

Namjoon shrugs with a sassy face. [I'm Not Sure…]

Seokjin laughs and pushes Taehyung in front of him to Namjoon.

Someone: I will give up.

Someone: He doesn't know.

Taehyung grabs one of Namjoon's arms and Jimin grabs the other.

Seokjin: Please hold him tight.

Taehyung: All right. All right.

[Finally! Oldest member takes the lead!]

Hoseok: Begin!

[START!] [4th Player RM!]

Namjoon immediately arches up and flails and loses his water, then falls over and out of Taehyung and Jimin's grip.

[What?]

[Forced End] [RM → 1 second]

Slow motion view of Namjoon with water on his face, making a handsome expression and pushing his hair back sexily.

[Makes own commercial]

It's Jimin's turn in the chair.

Hoseok: Let's go now.

[Wriggle]

Taehyung and Seokjin hold one arm and Hoseok holds the other as Seokjin, Jungkook, and Namjoon tickle his sides and armpits. Jimin accidentally laughs and spits out his water.

[Poof!]

[Jimin → 4 sec.] [Like dam discharging water…]

It's Hoseok's turn in the chair. Seokjin and Jungkook hold each arm.

Jimin: j-hope! j-hope! [Jiggle] [Jiggle]

Jimin is hugs him from behind and grabbing his chest with both hands.

[Squirt!]

Hoseok turns around and spits his water at Jimin's face.

[j-hope!] [Aims at Jimin]

[j-hope → 10 sec. ]

Hoseok claps and yells happily.

Jimin: He looked straight at my face and spitted.

Jimin mimics Hoseok spitting at him but in tiny with a cute sound effect.

[Shooting King!]

It's Taehyung's turn in the chair.

Seokjin: I will step out. Since I spit at his face before. [laughs] [To V]

Yoongi: Let's do 1 versus 1. I request 1 versus 1.

[Then!] [Jin vs. V, 1 to 1 battle!]

Seokjin tries to protest, holding up his hands.

Hoseok: So! 1 versus 1. Let's do it.

Namjoon: It is called no-win dilemma.

Hoseok: Yes.

Namjoon: As soon as one spits, the other spits as well!

[Dilemma!] [If I spit, others spit too!]

Taehyung and Seokjin are now sitting in the same chair facing each other, with Seokjin on top of Taehyung. They both have water in their mouths.

Namjoon: Will you hold it in until the end or not?!

[Man's battle with self-pride!]

Hoseok: Hey! This is like "Saw". "Saw"! [Looks Forward]

Hoseok: It's "Saw"! "Saw"!

[Will V take revenge?]

[Will he endure it to get 1st place?]

They are now in separate chairs, still facing each other with water in their mouths. Taehyung holds his arms out wide in a "come at me" gesture and Seokjin puts on a rubber glove.

Hoseok: Let's begin.

Namjoon: Begin!

[START! Last Player V!]

[Provoking! Jin Moves Forward]

Seokjin moves forward slowly as if in slow motion. When he gets close, Taehyung spits his water in Seokjin's face then doubles over with laughter. Seokjin recoils.

[Ah Man~]

Seokjin pushes him in retaliation and Taehyung dramatically falls over. Everyone is in chaos and yelling.

Namjoon: That's dirty!! Ah! Pollution.

Taehyung giggles from where he's sitting against the wall. [Kekekeke. Poisonous Substance. Keke]

Hoseok: Ah! It got on me!

Namjoon: Ah, so dirty.

Yoongi: How many seconds was that?

[With one blow, studio becomes chaotic!]

[Poisonous substance squirted out like whale]

All of them are now neatly lined back up in a row.

Staff: "Run BTS!" Best Man! 1st place for Patience Test is? Jung Kook.

[1st Place Jung Kook] [Obvious Result…]

Jungkook claps humbly for himself with a small grin.

[Best Man 1R - "Patience Test" Result: 1. Jung Kook ∞, 2. SUGA 14 sec., 3. Jin 12 sec., 4. j-hope 4 sec., 5. Jimin 3 sec., 6. RM 1 sec., 7. V Exempted]

Namjoon: So! 1st round is over.

All: Yes!

Namjoon: What are we doing now?

Yoongi: Round 2! Shall we move on to 2nd round?

Jungkook makes two v signs at the camera.

Hoseok: What is 2nd round?

Staff: "Run BTS!" Best Man. 2nd game is "Sexy Lips". [ROUND 2: "Sexy Lips"]

Several: What?

Yoongi: Sexy lips.

Namjoon: Sexy lips.

[Best Man ROUND. 2 "Sexy Lips": 1) Apply red lipstick on the lip, 2) Open your mouth as wide as possible and kiss the acrylic panel, 3) Member with the longest distance between lips gets 1st place]

Namjoon is first up. He's sitting at a desk with all the members around him.

Namjoon: Everyone, I am the dark horse for this. I have the thickest lips.

Taehyung takes the job of applying his lipstick.

Yoongi: When we see RM eat ssambap, he opens his mouth wide.

Jimin: V! You don't have to put it on that boldly! V, this is not coloring book.

Jungkook: Oh, RM is getting sexy.

Jimin: Hey, when you cut that, you can make 4 plates. [laughs] (because lipstick is so thick)

Namjoon gazes seductively into the camera with thick, uneven red lipstick, and peeks his tongue out.

Jimin: That's so red.

All: Ahh.

Yoongi: How fatal.

Jungkook: You are like the oldest sister.

Yoongi: Let's go!

Hoseok: cutely Oldest sister.

Someone: Let's go.

Jimin: 1, 2, 3!

Namjoon holds up the clear acrylic sheet and opens his mouth as wide as it can possibly go. His eyes go just as wide. He presses his mouth to the sheet and crosses his eyes.

Jimin: Eyes are bigger. Eyes are… Oh!

Yoongi: Let's go!

All are laughing and lean in close to see.

Jungkook: Wow!

Seokjin measures it with a tape measure.

Seokjin: Ah! 8 centimeters.

[RM → 8.6 cm]

Yoongi: Really?

Seokjin: No. 8.6. 8.6.

It's Taehyung's turn, and Hoseok does his lipstick.

Jimin: Those whose birthday is slower than V… No, faster.

Hoseok finishes Taehyung's lipstick. Taehyung has big red lips and also a line of red lipstick going up to his nose and down under his lip.. Hoseok laughs and claps his hands.

Yoongi: There is no one who got 10 centimeters yet. Person with 10 centimeters. So, let's go!

Jungkook: You got hit once, really!

Hoseok: He got it… Did you get hit? [checks on Taehyung]

Namjoon: This much… I think 10 centimeters is possible.

Yoongi: How big.

Hoseok: He will go for 10 centimeters.

Jimin: [politely] Open it wide.

Taehyung opens his mouth wide and everyone yells "whoa, whoa!"

Yoongi: [grinning] Hey! Hey! He will get it.

Taehyung starts lifting the acrylic sheet toward his face.

Yoongi: 3, 2…

Namjoon: Can you make it wider?

Yoongi: 1…

Taehyung presses it to his mouth and everyone watches raptly.

Yoongi: He did it! He did! Hey! He got it.

Someone: Wow~ He's good.

Yoongi: Hey, this is 10 centimeters…

Jungkook measures with a tape measure.

Jimin: [laughing] How funny.

[V → 9.5 centimeters]

Clips quickly show the other members measuring their lips.

[SUGA → 8 centimeters]

[Jin → 8.2 centimeters]

[Jimin → 9.2 centimeters]

Namjoon on Jungkook's turn: He just went for it.

[Jung Kook → 9.1 centimeters]

Yoongi on Hoseok's turn: Wow, he's so ugly.

[j-hope → 9 centimeters]

[Best Man Round 2: "Sexy Lips" Results]

They are all lined up neatly again.

Staff: We tested your sexy lips.

Jimin makes kissy lips at the camera.

[Muah] [Muah]

Staff: 1st place is V.

All clap and nod.

Hoseok: I agree. I agree! We can really agree!

[Best Man 2nd Round - "Sexy Lips": 1. V 9.5 cm, 2. Jimin 9.2 cm, 3. Jung Kook 9.1 cm, 4. j-hope 9 cm, 5. RM 8.6 cm, 6. Jin 8.2 cm, 7. SUGA 8 cm]

Namjoon: Let's move on to the 3rd round.

Hoseok: Okay!

Jimin: Let's go.

Taehyung: Go-go-sing!

[Best Man Last 3rd Round, GO! GO!]

Hoseok: Round 3.

Staff: 3rd test! We look for strength and agility. [Round 3: Strength and Agility]

Staff: The game is "Cushion Fight!"

All: Ahh!

Namjoon: "Cushion Fight".

Hoseok: Ah, "Cushion Fight".

[Best Man ROUND. 3 "Cushion Fight": 1) Dance to the song while going around cushion, 2) Sit on the cushion when production blows whistle, 3) One cushion is removed every round, and the last member standing wins!]

[Round 3 Stage 1: 5 Cushions Remain!]

The members all walk around five cushions in a circle to children's music. When the whistle is blown they all fall to the ground to get to a cushion. Jimin falls on top of Hoseok who got a cushion, and Yoongi didn't even have a chance.

Yoongi: I lost without using any strength. [laugh]

[Round 3 Stage 2: 3 Cushions Remain!]

Five members walk around the three cushions, and when the whistle is blown Hoseok and Namjoon don't land on a cushion.

Jimin: Jung Kook will win this one.

They are all lined up neatly again.

Jimin: I did try my best, but I am guessing that Jung Kook will win. [Predict Jung Kook will be 1st]

Jimin: I will carefully do it.

Jungkook: Oh no.

Back to musical cushions.

Taehyung: [dramatically] Ready, music cue~

Hoseok: It's "No More Dream"!

[Round 3 Stage 3: 2 Cushions Remain!]

The three remaining members walk around singing and dancing to No More Dream. Namjoon and Jimin join in from the sidelines.

[Members are excited to hear debut song]

Yoongi: Jin! Wow!

[Jin was going to freely dance and relax]

The whistle blows and all fall down, but Seokjin was bumped off his cushion by Jungkook.

[Jin Sullen…]

[Results show he loses in a flash!]

Yoongi: Let's hear your words since it's the final.

Jungkook: [grinning] Since I went to the finals, I am eager to win now.

Taehyung: I'm sorry, Jung Kook.

Taehyung puts a hand on Jungkook's shoulder.

Hoseok: [laugh] Sorry about what?

Taehyung: I will just step on you. [Always Try Situational Play]

[Round 3 Stage 4: One Cushion Remains!]

Jungkook and Taehyung dance around the cushion to Dope.

Hoseok: Jung Kook in the middle doing freestyle.

Jungkook: Freestyle. Freestyle. Freestyle. [Jung Kook's Freestyle Dance]

Namjoon: Great job!

Hoseok: V! V!

[Starts showing his dance]

Yoongi: Dance!

[3, 2, 1]

Jungkook and Taehyung prepare to stop but the whistle doesn't come.

[Timid…]

They grin and awkwardly keep dancing.

[Disappointed…]

Jungkook: One second. I am going to lose.

[Timid dance trying to focus on winning]

Jimin: All right. [If you don't do it, I will!]

Jimin starts dancing wildly from the sidelines and Namjoon joins him.

[Reversal…] [Audience more excited than player]

Hoseok joins in the dancing.

[Eyeing game continues to win]

Fast forward until the whistle is blown and Jungkook and Taehyung both fall down.

[How Will It End?]

Jungkook lands on the cushion!

[Bolt of Lightning!]

Hoseok claps loudly and Jimin and Namjoon join in.

Jungkook: I am BTS!

Taehyung stands defeated but still grinning. [I Lost…]

They are all lined up neatly again.

Namjoon: So! We have played all three games.

[BTS charm was shown through 3 missions]

Hoseok: It's already finished?

Jimin: It ended very fast.

Namjoon: I know. Thank you so much! It's finally over. [(For Finishing Fast)]

Someone: How amazing.

Namjoon: What's the result?

[Who's the Best Man of BTS?]

Staff: Best Man in "Run BTS!"

[Is It… Me?]

Staff: 1st place is… Jung Kook.

[Best Man! Jung Kook]

All clap and nod, "ahh".

[Best Man - Final Results: 1. Jung Kook, 2. V, 3. SUGA, 4. Jin, 5. Jimin, 6. j-hope, 7. RM]

Jungkook: GG! (good game) [Jung Kook is Best Man in BTS]

Yoongi: All right.

Hoseok: Does "Best Man" come up here?

Seokjin: Captions! The captions are already up!

Yoongi: It's already up there.

Jungkook steps up to the middle, holding his arms out proudly, right behind the on-screen caption: [Best Man Jung Kook!] [Crown]

Staff: We will give Best Man badge to Jung Kook. Please bring the badge out!

[Only!! For Best Man! Expectation]

Everyone laughs. [Keke] They pass around a golden thumbs up sign the size of a dinner plate.

Hoseok: Really… It looks so great…(?)

Jungkook holds the golden medal.

Jungkook: This was an obvious result. [turns to Namjoon] I'm sorry.

Namjoon: Do you want to do a ceremony too?

Jungkook: Should I dance to "Dope"?

All: Ohh.

Jungkook steps up and dances to Dope.

[Winning Ceremony. Real "Dope" Dance]

Yoongi: And so, Jung Kook is the Best Man.

All, chanting: Jung Kook! Jungkook!

They all head off to exit for the day.

Hoseok: "Run BTS!" will continue! [BTS-style variety show will continue]

Namjoon: Hey! Let's finish work.

Jungkook is the last to leave. He holds up his medal and dances one last time.

[See You Next Time!]

[leconcombrerit]

Pran's teary eyes in episode 4 still get me and it remains my favorite. Pat being a total menace and unabashedly flirting without even realizing it is also perfect. Ink is perfect too. We got our first bits of Inkpa. Flashbacks of heavy pining. I'm a simple girl I don't ask for much more than that.

[firelxdykatara]

hello!! i just wanted to ask- i wanna do an ouat rewatch bc CAPTAIN SWANN but its pretty long and i honestly dont care for the other characters/how badly the overall writing was handled.. which are your favourite captain swan eps? anything them centered and i think ill just skip around to rewatch their romance as they did invent romance 😭😭 ty in advance <3

they absolutely did invent romance, you are right about that and i love them so much

UHMMMM as far as my favorite CS eps, here’s a roadmap of what I personally consider key eps in their journey (some of this is from memory but I haven’t done a full rewatch in a while so i’m going through the episode list as a refresher)

2x06: Tallahassee--this is a must-watch ep for any CS fan, and I really think this is the episode that sparked the fire that CS would become as a fandom. It has everything--flirtatious banter, all kinds of tension, deliberate parallels drawn between Emma and Killian’s pasts, as well as their first meeting being intercut with her relationship with Neal (which serves, especially in hindsight, to highlight just how sketchy that relationship was, and why she couldn’t bring herself to trust Killian--because the last time she felt this way about anyone, it ended horribly)

2x08 and 2x09: Into the Deep and Queen of Hearts--these episodes cover the race to the portal between Emma&co and Hook/Cora and while they don’t do a ton for CS as a relationship since they’re still enemies at this point, it lays great foundation for their future relationship development. Plus, sexy swordfight, Hook going out of his way to save Aurora’s heart--he may be a pirate, but he has standards ok--and Emma realizing Cora can’t remove her heart without her permission? Poetic Cinema

2x11: The Outsider--more of a Killian-centric episode, it shows a lot of Killian at his worst but it’s necessary for his overall character arc and I genuinely love looking back and seeing just how far he managed to come, to the point of eventually even letting go of his (very understandable) grudge against Rumplestiltskin.

2x12: In the Name of the Brother--am I including this purely for Emma&Hook banter in the hospital, and Killian saying ‘hey beautiful’ when he’s lying on the road because he just got hit by a fucking car? You bet I am. Also, go to youtube and look up ‘ouat season two deleted scene jello’, because it’s beautiful and there was a tremendous outcry in the fandom when we realized it had been cut from the episode lmao (It’s also the episode that made me start shipping Frankenwolf, which I’m still sad never went anywhere, but they had a lot of potential and great chemistry.)

2x22: And Straight On Till Morning--A few of the episodes in between have some fun minor interactions and flashbacks (and I always approve of episodes where Killian gets one up on Rumple, so 2x15 is fun for me if i ignore all the Neal bits) but the finale is where we finally get a glimpse of who Killian could be beyond his need for revenge. He didn’t have to come back, he didn’t have to bring back the bean and help the town--but he did.

Season 3a: there’s a lot of really good stuff here for Hook and Emma that is interwoven between the A plots of other episodes. I think, as far as half-season arcs go, it’s one of the best (and everything after 4a bombed hard, but I digress) But there are a few episodes that stand out if you don’t want to watch the whole season. (I recommend starting with the premier though, it was a really solid season starter overall.)

3x05: Good Form--this is the culmination of David’s poisoned-by-dreamshade arc, and is also Peak Captain Charming Bromance. Hook not only keeping David’s secret, but doing everything he can to help save him??? Poetic cinema. It also provides some crucial Killian backstory, showing how he lost his brother to the very same dreamshade. Plus, the character development--Pan offers Killian a chance to escape the island with Emma if he kills David, and instead, he saves him, refusing the deal and damn the consequences. Also also? The first CS kiss which drove the fandom WILD.

3X06: Ariel--not only to I love OUaT’s take on Ariel, but this episode has the infamous Echo Cave scene, which involves a lot of feelsy confessions and Killian being the one to tell everyone that Neal is alive and helping Emma save him despite his own growing feelings for her.....IT’S JUST A LOT AND I LOVE IT.

3x07: Dark Hallow--oh man, I’d forgotten about this episode, but it has Killian and Neal fighting over Emma, which may sound eye-roll worthy, but Emma is allowed to tear them a new one about it and it’s one of the few times she’s allowed to actually???? put her own feelings first so I have to include it here on spec

3x11 and 3x12: Going Home and New York City Serenade--these mark the end of 3a and start of 3b respectively, and it has some amazing shit like Killian vowing never to forget Emma and Emma smiling as she replies, “Good.��� And then she and Henry are in New York with their memories completely altered, but Killian shows up because Storybrooke is back and in jeopardy, and he helps Emma get back to her family and her home and, much later, Emma finds out he sold the Jolly Roger to be able to do it and it’s just. It’s beautiful ok.

3x17: The Jolly Roger--there’s honestly not a whole lot in the back half of season 3 (until the CS movie) but of course anything named for Hook is a must-watch, and this is where we get the iconic line I swear on Emma Swan--which is Killian saying he’s in love with her before he even realizes it. We also find out just what he did to Ariel, and his attempts to make amends are what lead to Zelena being able to curse him, so it’s great from a character perspective as well.

The next four episodes round out the end of the season, and there’s a lot of great stuff in them--Hook refusing to get Emma to kiss him, but Emma feeling like she can’t trust him because he didn’t tell her about the curse to begin with, and then kissing him anyway to save his life regardless of the consequences.... but the only ones that are absolutely necessary are the final two episodes.

They are colloquially termed ‘The Captain Swan Movie’ for a reason, after all.

Killian and Emma essentially have an entire Time Travel adventure all to themselves, where they accidentally ruin her parents first meeting and have to fix it so that she’ll even be born, Emma finally getting into the storybook, the pair of them dancing at a ball, Killian rushing to save Emma only for her to get out of the cell herself, because “The only one who saves me is me.” Killian saying “I would go to the ends of the world for her... or time.” Finally fixing the timeline and making it back to Storybrooke and Killian feeling like he doesn’t deserve a place at the table so he doesn’t go inside, but Emma comes out to him anyway and finds out he gave up the Jolly Roger for her, the true start to their relationship...... IM CRYING JUST THINKING ABOUT IT I’M SORRY.

I personally really enjoyed 4a, the Frozen arc was one of the last good half-season arcs of the show, but a lot of people disliked it so it’s really up to interpretation. I don’t have as many Intense Opinions on this season (except hating almost everything about 4b and the queens of darkness arc), but I will say the episodes with good Killian/CS moments are 4x02 (Emma nearly freezes to death, Killian is desperate to save her, Captain Charming teamwork, my heart hurts), 4x04 (Emma asks Killian out on a real date, he tries to get his real hand back from Gold, things go massively awry and he winds up back under Gold’s thumb), 4x08 (Killian tries to save Emma from Gold’s plans), 4x11 (the 4a finale is just great in general), and then..... it cannot be overstated how much I hate season 4b, but 4x15 is the Killian-centric ep where his past with Ursula is revealed and he makes amends to her in order to get her to leave the QoD alliance and it’s great character stuff for him, and then there’s the season 4 finale.

Both parts are worth watching, if only because Deckhand Coward Hook still being a braver, more heroic man than ‘Hero Rumplestiltskin’ warms the very cockles of my heart, and of course the second part of the finale has him helping Henry to save Emma and it’s beautiful and also Emma watches him die for her and it is angsty as FUCK but gods I love it. Here’s where it gets tricky, though--my recommendation is, turn the episode off right after Emma finds Killian back in the present day of Storybrooke and they reunite.

Just turn off the episode there and skip right ahead to the s6 musical episode (Emma and Killian’s wedding ep) and pretend they got married and none of seasons 5 or 6 ever happened. >.> (Although I will say certain parts of the Underworld arc were incredibly feelsy despite how much I overall hated the season: 5x11 (the 5a finale, Killian as the dark one STILL being a better man than rumple, we love to see it), 5x15 (I am not immune to Brothers Jones feelings ok), 5x20 (emma literally takes a True Love Test trying to find a way to save killian, you don’t get more romantic than that--also Killian telling Emma to promise she won’t put her armor back up just because she lost him again??? my HEART), 5x21 (Hook does what he can from the Underworld anyway and zeus sends him back to Emma, they really just said ‘today I will invent romance’ and then Did That)

And then, yeah, just skip to the wedding. It’s beautiful, I enjoyed the music, personally, though I know musical episodes are hit or miss with most people. And if you turn it off when the last musical number starts (after the wedding ceremony, I believe) you can pretend it was the end of the show! =DDD

.....Oh my god I just rambled for years. I HOPE YOU FIND THIS USEFUL, ANON. I 100% support a CS-centered rewatch, their episodes were consistently some of the best across the entire series, and they are truly one of my favorite romances of all time.

[dellinah]

With the new ep coming soon, have a quick Helluva Boss review by me

This is not my opinion these are hard facts and I don't accept anything else ty (obvious joke is obvious)

Pilot:

Works well enough as a pilot, but aged poorly when compared to the actual episodes. The cutaway gag style reminds me of Family Guy, which isn't a good thing but works ok enough to show off their personalities in a quick way. However, I think they were still very surface level (especially compared to their recent development in the episodes). Loona was especially unlikeable in the pilot (other than one scene with the smile) and they seem to have only one trait explored which is their main personality trait, it makes them a bit too cartoony. The writing was a bit sloppy with the cutaway of them killing the wrong person suddenly becoming the main plot. But as a pilot, it works fine and the scenes with Moxxie and Blitzo were really funny. Millie and Loona don't really get the chance to suck you in and are kinda just there, but that's fair as a pilot only has so much time to show so much. I'm just glad the show turned out to be MUCH better than this made me think it would be. I was scared they'd rely too much on cutaways and never have actual plots, but the episodes are almost nothing like the pilot. And since that's a good thing... yeah, the pilot is fine, but I'm glad the show is different from it

5/10

Episode 1:

It does a good job at showing off the personalities that were outlined in the pilot (Moxxie is insecure and angry, Blitzo is careless, Loona is mean, Millie is energetic), but other than Moxxie, I think they could have done more by using smart dialog to define and show their interactions. They're still very 'one-trait'. Also goes a bit deeper into how the imps work which was cool to learn. I really like the jokes in this one! The bits of lore they give us was also appreciated. However, I think it's the less memorable of the episodes so far. It's a good average episode: they do what they're meant to, there are good jokes, but other than Moxxie's development, nothing about this episode will stick with you - there's not much to it other than the basic plot. So much so that this is the one people talk about the least in my experience. The character interactions are a bit deeper, but again, nothing stands out about it and we don't learn that much about them. It probably aged poorly as well, it was much better when it was the only ep but now it doesn't reach the standards set by the other eps. Good average ep, but you won't think much about it once it's done

6/10

Episode 2

This to me is where the show truly shines. Not only was it beautifully animated, it has everything that makes Helluva Boss great: good characters trying to survive each other in a shit yet interesting environment. Stolas and Octavia steal the show and it does a full 180 on Stolas, turning him from a horny slut to a caring dad that is trying his best (albeit, still horny). Octavia is a beautifully written character, as they manage to make a teen emo daughter that isn't annoying or obnoxious, but even make us feel for her as the family falls apart in a believable way. All the characteds (other than Loona) FINALLY get the deeper personality exploration that I think lacked in the previous episodes. The interactions they have with each other do a great job at a 'show, don't tell' and you actually start liking them more after this one as they get more of a personality. Learning about Blitzo's past and the clown character are also great plot points. This episode is pretty much flawless and everything about it is great: the interactions are deep and well written, the personalities shine, the plot is interesting, you feel for the characters, it's funny, it makes you feel and all the characters are incredibly likeable - with no one being in the wrong and just making us see different perspectives from layered characters. I cannot praise it enough so just know it's perfect. The only bad thing about this ep is that it sets such a high stardand other eps might look worse in comparision. And if that's the only bad thing you have to say about an ep, then it's pretty damn good

10000/10

Episode 3

Another amazing episode. While not as heartfelt as Episode 2, it's still very charming and memorable with GREAT character moments. Millie gets some much needed screen time that finally shows another side of her as a caring yet badass wife. Drunk Moxxie was especially funny and props to the va for the golden delivery of his lines (for real, the sounds he makes are amazing. And who could forget the I aM nOt A pOsSuM line. Iconic). Loona finally gets an episode focused on her, so now all 4 main characters have gotten better. The episode has many good points, but the interactions between Loona and Blitzo as their relationship gets more defined and sets up more mysteries about their past are GREAT. Again, amazing 'Show, don't tell' stuff that makes you feel for dad and daughter that struggle together to love each other as such. They also managed to portray a teen crush and a protective dad without making them annoying or obnoxious. A lot of cute and angsty, memorable moments between them as well as great Loona development as she becomes more vulnerable. It almost outshines the main plot of Blitzo's ex, but she's a good character and their banter ties up with the blitzo/loona plot so you never forget what is going on and it all comes together nicely at the end. Beautiful father-daughter angst and a great portray at the struggles they face with adoption. Probs the funniest ep to date. Verosika is another great character and I hope she shows up again. Honestly, no major complaints

10/10

Here's to hoping for another great ep!

[d-pennants]

Everything we know about Aaravos

This includes stuff from the books, interviews and ComicCon, so spoilers. Updated with a few things from the artbook. I’ll try to keep updating when I come across new info.

Timeline

From Book 1: Moon

Callum’s Spellbook

Historical texts

The Art of the Dragon Prince

And a third page written in Italian was added to the historical texts.

“Last of the Great Ones” is interesting, because Zaird says to Sol Regem his staff was a gift from one of the Great Ones. Sol Regem is alarmed but doesn’t immediately know who Zaird is talking about. So apparently between that conversation and when this text was written all Great Ones except for Aaravos died, and even he ‘fell’.

Also this note about Aaravos not being at full power.

As a ‘fallen’ Startouch elf Aaravos can only access a fraction of his former power.

The spell Zaird used to absorb the sunbirds to create the fireball he used against Sol Regem and the spell that Aaravos casts for Viren to absorb Zym’s power are meant to resemble each other in their swirling vortex. The symbol for Dark Magic also has a swirl in it around a diamond shaped like the one on Aaravos’ chest. This absorption vortex seems to be pretty central to Dark Magic, and it only seems it can be done with the staff Aaravos most likely crafted. 

The Show

Zaird staff is the same staff Viren uses. Aaravos recognized it. Given the historical text Aaravos is the “Great One” who gifted Zaird that staff.

Transcripts of all his lines in this post.

Aaravos is the narrator in the opening.

First appearance in S1 from the first war between humans and elves & dragons 1000 years ago.

Elves don’t seem to ride horses, but big cats, dogs, lizards, etc instead. Yet Aaravos choose to depict himself riding a star primal horse (He could make Viren see any creature he wanted). Considering it turns out that unicorns and Startouch elves are the only two star primal creatures humans know about, is he just being dramatic or does this have a deeper meaning?

Mirror in the Dragon King’s lair.

Cocoon

Dragon Prince Website

Bio;

Mysterious and charismatic, Aaravos is a rare kind of elf few have ever seen. He is secretive yet charming, and even Viren finds himself compelled by Aaravos’ cryptic words and gifts.

Height: 6’6 (6’9 with horns) Birthday: November 14th Age: ???

Birthday Vignette;

Aaravos does not count the passage of time in minutes, nor hours, not even days — he counts candles, one after the other, burning themselves down to the wick and a puddle of hot wax. He would run out of candles if it weren’t so easy to reform them with a wave of his hand, as though the burn had never happened.

He thinks sometimes about the way humans count their years: one day every year marks a precious point in their short life spans. They celebrate. They feast. He thinks that if he cared for the idea, he’d like to remember the taste of a smooth red fruit a human had plucked from a tree for him, once.

It had been so crisp, and so sweet.

AMA, Tumblr, Instagram Live

Who are the First Elves?

AE: First Elves are startouch elves, or possibly a subset of startouch elves...

When did the idea of Aaravos come up? How early in the planning of the saga did you guys come up with him?

AE: Justin and I came up with Aaravos very very early. In the early stages we referred to him as "Mirror Mage." We always knew he would be the secret long-game mystery villain... Aaron

Is the Key of Aaravos actually the key of where he was imprisoned?

AE & JR: We can’t tell you.

JR: We don’t even know. We haven’t even discovered the answer yet.

AE: We know! Actually, that was one of the first things we knew at the very beginning. We’ll get to it.

Did Aaravos create dark magic?

AE: No, it was discovered not created. Did Aaravos turn them onto it or help them discover it? That’s very possible. Whether Aaravos played a role in developing their ability to do dark magic. Exploring the possibilities of dark magic.

How could Avizandum (Thunder) imprison such a powerful creature as Aaravos? Can archdragons do such magic or who helped him? This required some collaboration between archdragons and elves

Were you surprised by all the thirsty reactions to Aaravos? Judging from everyone who worked on the show and their reactions, no we weren't surprised :)

Where is Aaravos walking in epsiode 6? And how and where did he a get a horse?

Aaravos can basically make Viren “see” him however he wants, so he chose to appear on the back of a purple horse. There was actually a line in there at one point that we had to cut for time that clarified a bit more heavily -- Viren grumbles at him, “Must you appear... that way?” as Aaravos is floating in the air, and Aaravos replies, “Ah, I can appear more naturally if you’d like,” and then he flips backwards onto the horse as you see in scene in episode 6. :P

which FFXIV classes would the rest of the cast be?

Aaravos - mysterious benevolent ascian

Interviews

There is no Startouch elf society as they’re not numerous enough.

Hot Brown Morning Potion Ep 5

Hypothetically, if Aaravos knew about his own fandom, how would he feel about them?

AE: He takes a special interest in humans, so he would be very pleased that humans appreciate him.

Wondercon 2019 panel Q&A

“The goal of healing and rebuilding the world is going to be a hard one, and especially a hard one when Aaravos, who may have been one of the mysterious forces who pushed the world into this situation, now seems to be on the cusp of returning or trying to return to the world.”

Inverse Season 4 interview

“Practical usable powerful magic, is drawn from the six Primal Sources, but there’s this idea that there’s this kind of earlier, less differentiated power. A kind of magic that’s deeper and more, (I don’t want to kind of say what all of them are). It’s not that important now. It has more to do with the history of beings and interactions and now I feel like I’m talking crazy, but Aaravos cares about some of this stuff and it’s funny, people have worked on a speech in season 5 where he kind of goes into some of this.”

...

“I think he’s complicated. I mean it’s, I think there’s a part of him that is kind, that is generous, that is giving and I think there’s a part of him that is arrogant and desiring to be, you know, worshipped and revered...

He never lies, I don’t know if he’s never lied about anything, if you understand where he’s coming from, he’s not lying about anything. But you don’t necessarily know where he’s coming from. He never lies, he always tells the truth. You’ve heard us talk about Aaravos before, is it Lucifer or Prometheus, who has a relationship with humanity and the gifts and sharing that he has historically have been, you know, you can interpret it differently.”

...

Q: We know he’s mastered all the primal sources, it that like could all of us do that or just him?

A: He’s very special.

Cartoon Universe Season 3 interview

kn: What’s your favorite Greek myth? AE: There are so many intriguing myths to choose from – I think if I have to choose I would say the Prometheus myth. The titan stole fire and gave it to humans, elevating them – and was punished by the gods for this. I feel like there are parallels to the biblical story of the serpent tempting Eve to eat the apple, and its effect on humanity… and the comparisons are sort of fascinating. I am interested in both the mythic/divine messenger who stole/shared these gifts with humanity, and the story of what humans chose to do once they had these gifts.

Korranews interview

Can I just jump back for a minute to the Star elves, can you talk a little bit about them?

Richmond: We can tell you their name, so they’re Startouch elves, is the type of elf they are and kind of no. [Laughs] They’re super, duper rare, they’re very mystical and we have a lot of plans for them, but that’s kind of all I want to give you. Ehasz: They’re mystical, mysterious - the mystical, mysterious Mr. Aaravos. [Laughs] Richmond: That’s the spinoff. [Laughs] Ehasz: Yeah, they are more - I mean, they’re Star Elves and they’re more associated with the heavens and they’re not immortal, but they have more of a time scale that is more like the stars than other elves, so they’re a little bit removed and big picture, but Star Elves have a, I mean, they’re part of mystery and myth and we’re going to meet one this season. I love the actor who plays him is Erik Todd Dellums, who I worked with on Avatar [the Last Airbender] who has an amazing voice and he’s perfect to embody a character like this and we’re excited about this character. We hope the audience is intrigued and ready for more.

Screenrant Season 2 interview

Going back to Aaravos for one second. We’re assuming there’s a reason why he seems to be telling this story — we see his hands at the beginning of each episode in the opening sequence. AE: Yeah, so he’s a Startouch Elf, and they are closest to the heavens of the elves. They’re kind of the most god-like, in the sense of they span much more time than more Earth-bound or Xadia-bound elves. So yeah, he has this thousand year perspective. This kind of mythic role. So he’s like this mythic character who now, suddenly, is kind of popping up in this contemporary story. JR: And obviously, he’s bad enough that they tried to literally erase him from the books. AE: He’s complicated. JR: He’s interesting enough that they tried to erase him from the books. AE: He’s disliked. That’s not the same as bad.

Hyperable season 2 interview

“The name of a very important person to Aaravos will be in the map of a novel, but it will be a long time before you know what that means,” Ehasz said. “A lot of his motivation comes from that relationship.”

Hyperable Season 3 interview (Possible names on the map are Skall’s Hook, the Ruins of Elarion, and Mount Kalik).

The team also teased The Orphan Queen, a new story they hope to tell in the series, books or even in a feature film, which follows a young human girl who starts from nothing and grows up without parents. She takes a dangerous journey to Xadia and ends up saving the world. She’s also Ezran’s first royal ancestor. Ehasz and Richmond said the idea was born when they were imagining where the Key of Aaravos comes from.

Ehasz and Richmond also dug into the timeline of Xadia, and how certain eras will impact both the books and the series. Five thousand years ago, Xadia was in its “mythical, Biblical first days,” a time long before elves and dragons were allied in which humans suffered and struggled. The “rise of Elarion” came around 2,000 years before the events of the series, and saw humans find their way to magic. Around 1200 years ago finds the arch dragon of sun, Sol Regem, as king of the dragons during this era, when dark magic became problematic and humans poached magical creatures for their parts. Shortly after came the division of Xadia. The next big turning point for the world was 300 years before the series, a time Ehasz and Richmond dub “the era of Avizandum.” Two stories they want to tell take place during this era: The Fallen Star and The Orphan Queen. We don’t know anything about The Fallen Star yet ... but we will. The team noted that history will one day know the modern era as “The Return of Aaravos.”

Polygon season 3 interview

Concept Art

Dorothy Yang’s design 'Fallen Star.’ Check out more of her work on ArtStation.

When they were first brainstorming ideas for the show Aaravos had a blindfold, but that was scrapped for being “too on the nose.” This is Giancarlos Volpe’s early sketches that he posted on Twitter.

[cattles-bians]

Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

[androgynouscardinal]

top 10 columbo eps

I've thought about this so much, but never posted it I think. SO:

Top!

Ten!

Columbo!

Episodes!

1. Death Lends A Hand

- The first episode I ever saw in its entirety. Robert Culp plays a controlling, conniving head of a security company who murders the wife of a client (Ray Milland) after she refuses to be blackmailed. Columbo is at his best here; charming, disarming, and always more astute than he lets on.

2. Etude In Black

- Cassavetes is a tempestuous musical conductor who uses a televised performance as the ideal opportunity to get rid of his girlfriend before she tells his wife (a demure Blythe Danner) about their relationship. Columbo is on his ass from the start—sniffing out the killer before any solid evidence reveals itself is trademark Columbo. The resigned “I’m guilty” at the end is the purest defeat I’ve ever seen.

3. Suitable For Framing

- A snooty art critic kills his uncle to inherit the man’s art collection. With an unrelenting Columbo appearing like his fucking Visa card, the critic tries his hand at framing someone else for the murder; the dippy ex-wife of the deceased. My favorite ending to an episode.

4. A Friend In Deed

- A man murders his wife in a passion and turns to his buddy, a deputy police commissioner, for help. The commissioner sees this as an opportunity for both of them to begin their post-marriage lives with a little friendly blackmail. Columbo carefully reveals the commissioner’s misdeeds with skill, savvy, and a complete lack of dignity.

5. A Stitch In Crime

- This is one of the few episodes where the dogmatic, indignant side of Columbo is exposed. His affability and quiet amusement at his opponents’ fruitless deflections is a core part of the character and it is rarely abandoned the way it is here. Leonard Nimoy stars as a doctor who murders the nurse assisting him when she figures out he tampered with another doctor’s care. This one goes down to the wire.

6. An Exercise In Fatality

- Columbo hounds Milo Janus, the creator of a gym franchise, after one of the gym owners uncovers his fraudulent business practices and threatens to ruin him. It isn’t until Janus manipulates the victim’s wife into a suicide attempt that Columbo’s signature slow-walking his suspects to a confession is scrapped for a quicker resolution, before Janus strikes again. Another episode where Columbo’s disgust with the killer is on full display. "What do you care?" is the greatest line reading in the show's entire run.

7. Requiem For A Falling Star

- Anne Baxter is elegant as an aged starlet whose secrets threaten to ruin the life she has created for herself. Columbo is a fan; his admiration becomes disappointment when he uncovers the truth.

8. Columbo Goes To College

- Columbo is asked to speak as a guest lecturer in a professor’s criminology class which, unbeknownst to Columbo, houses two wannabe killers. Two entitled white boys murder their professor—who has the power to get them expelled for cheating—with cleverly rigged machinery while Columbo is in the classroom. The boys are easy targets for his feigned incompetence, making their ultimate comeuppance all the more satisfying.

9. Troubled Waters

- With a seemingly unbreakable alibi, Robert Vaughn murders his longtime lounge-singer mistress aboard the cruise ship where Columbo and the as-yet unseen Mrs. Columbo are passengers. The smooth and stern Vaughn is well-pitted against Falk’s dogged, unpretentious cordiality.

10. Now You See Him

- A stage magician with a pretty nasty secret kills his employer when he threatens to uncover it. The Great Santini uses a performance to perfectly mask his crime… or so he believes. Bob Dishy plays the short-lived Sgt. Wilson, a fumbling by-the-book cop, serving as a mildly humorous foil to Columbo’s unorthodox methods.

Honorable Mention

- The Most Dangerous Match – a deaf chess player murders his opponent the eve before a televised, heavily marketed match.

You can never go wrong with a Culp, Milland, or McGoohan!

I would also be remiss if I didn't point out the delicacy of homoeroticism at the heart of this show. Columbo talks about his wife during the long hours of his pursuits, a woman never seen in a single episode, frequently used as a conversation starter or a justification or an apology, which begs the question of any engaged viewer: what really is the most important relationship in Columbo's life?

[ficsinhistory]

BH6 Season 3 predictions  #1

(this is gona be lowkey long post!) All right, here we go. I'll basically start my predictions here, with a base on the title of each episode and when we have synopsis, I will see what is right and create new theories.

First off, I think the two  episodes will work together. That is, the stories can kind of complement each other, some points of one being used in others. Second, we still have the points of the second season like: Sirque and the portal, Hardlight, Di and Chris than will be used later in this season.

The Hyper-Potamus Pizza-Party-Torium

This is the first episode of the third season, and apparently the only one with 22 minutes and I have very interesting ideas for this one. That will be our introductory chapter of the season that I think will be over the summer. I also think it will be the place where the Noodle Burger Boy will get the new family since he is a place, this one:

And before you ask, no. I don't think it's just him being the villain. We will have several others and I think that the arc is much larger having the noodle Burger Boy as a starting point-aka- Disney is fool us and this is the synopsis only of the many sides of the season.

Anyway ... what I can theorize about the main plot of the episode is that it shows how the gang is after graduation, Hiro adapting to everything and NBB, what he intends and the chaos that ensues; plus mentions of Trina, Obake, Megan and Cheif Cruz. Besides Tadashi, of course.

We also have a screenshot that I think comes from here:

Honey Lemon is afraid of hippos and this may be a subplot in the episode. We also can have a mention of Hardlight by video games in place, which can be used later, and even a reference to Fnaf! You know, animatronic in a pizzeria, Honey may have gotten a job there for some reason, after all she graduated, job is difficult and she may be in need of money and voila! A reference and subplot! And  a hippo animatronic!

I also theorize that the place was built by Krei to profit from college students and students in the summer. After all, a pizzeria is the ideal place for such a plan. We have everything, the palm trees that symbolize summer, the place being pretty fun and what it seems to be on the beach (please be it, I've always wanted to see the beach of San Fransokyo), outside the scientific theme that would easily attract science nerds. Being one, I would. Maybe Granville shows up here for both that and another reason.

The other reason in question is a theory, which I very much wanted to be true: Karmi will appear in this episode working on Pizza-Party-Torium.

Legacies gave a lead and Haley Tju, The voiceactor of Karmi, was confirmed for the third season. I think even if she doesn't have big roles during this part of the season, she will become a much more recurring and present character. Legacies shows it in the room full of SFIT posters, which leads me to believe that Karmi has already returned to the city in that ep.

Now why she's working there is the most fun to theorize. Karmi did not live in the city before coming, perhaps to return after all what happend, she agreed with her parents to work to support herself . Or maybe, it's a way for her to get distracted and spend the summer until the semester comes back, and even prove to her parents that maybe she managed to leave the past and can take care of herself. Anyway I think, even not the main point of the episode, I have a feeling. After all, we already know that she likes children and being a prodigy of science, she would have a profile of an employee in a place like that.

Either way, this episode will be full of hugs and I'm crazy about it.

Mayor for a day / The Dog Craze of Summer

And here we have the first double episode and if my theory that the episodes are going to have a lead wire that is going to connect both, this is going to be fun.

For Mayor for a Day, I think we have a screenshot that in that case would be this

And if it really is, it will be a Fred-centric episode. Another one, again. However, we can take out fun situations and I wonder what could happen with Fred being mayor for a day. Maybe he won some contest or something. I hope Mole get ready.

Already The dog Craze of Summer will almost certainly be the episode in which Gogo and Honey Lemon adopt a dog, as was shown in a trailer. Then it will be a Gogo and Honey-centric episode. And without a doubt, fun. And his name will be Pablo!

Trading Chips / Mini Noodle Burger Max

Here is one of the examples I wanted to bring about the complementary episodes. Trading Chips maybe bring Hardlight since this sounds a lot like a video game term. And whatever happens in this episode will be the catalyst for Mini Noodle Burger Max. We have a sample here

that sure and NBB, Mini Max and Baymax changing body. If you pass the cafe, we'll have a strong presence of Aunt Cass. And this will be fun XD

A Friendly Face / Big Chibi 6

Contrary to popular belief, as I said before, I think in a Friendly Face, Karmi will have already been introduced to the series. And the episode will be nothing more, nothing less about: OLIVIA! And, if I'm right, then we'll probably have, Fred, Mole, plus, more personally, Honey Lemon and Karmi as well. It should spin on comic lathes and fandons, probably. If I'm wrong, it must be Karmi's turn.

And we have, Of course, Big Chibi 6! Which should surely follow Karmi and her fanfics. However, I get the impression that instead of being more about Karmi following on from her passion for Captain Cute and her obsession in general. That would be a big step of maturing her and it will be really cool to see.

Cobra and Mongoose / Better Off Fred

Ah, the last two known episodes!

In Cobra and Mongoose, we'll probably meet the first of the new villains: Cobra. They have been described as "a charming and crafty villain", which can yield very intense and interesting scenes.

Better Off Fred. We'll probably see someone richer than Fred and maybe even giving up being super hero.

All right, those were my predictions! If you have ideas, please share and see you next time.

[thebullmonkey]

Favorite Things: SANDITON Edition

For some reason, the first season officially ending its television run over here in The States has bummed me out even more, despite my having properly finished the season weeks ago and having already completed at least 5 full re-watches at this point.

I guess it just feels extra scary now about the fate of our dear Sanditonians? Sanditonites? Regency Cinnamon Rolls? Whatever you want to call them - I have this odd feeling of missing them even though I can watch them pretty much anytime I want. Is that weird? Am I weird? Don’t answer that!

Anyway, here’s a random, probably anachronistic list of some of my favorite Sanditon moments & things....

Every adorable Charlotte smile

The way Sidney says “Miss Heywood” whether in annoyance, anger, or secret desire

“New maid?”

Every annoyed Charlotte look - Rose has SUCH an exquisitely expressive face!

THAT SIDNEY EYEROLL

The way Sidney growls “What is it?”

The way Sidney softly questions “What is it?” to Charlotte when she’s birthing the Regatta idea

The way Charlotte & Sidney look so good standing or walking next to each other - they just look like they belong together forever

Young Stringer’s cartoonish accent in comparison to every other character’s “standard” English accent

When Esther’s all “hey you wanna walk with me” and Charlotte agrees but is too slow and Esther looks back at her after literally 3 paces like “BITCH, KEEP UP”

When Esther tells Charlotte she is “that bitch who will poison another bitch in my way” and Esther doesn’t break eye contact or her stride

Arthur talking about eating 6 or 7 slices of toast on the reg like it’s NBD

Arthur offering to make Charlotte some toast

The way Crow yells “BABERS!!” repeatedly

Crow just being an unapologetic drunken fuckboi

The Sidlotte pineapple luncheon party scene - especially how sweet it is that Sidney’s serving Charlotte soup

Arthur having about enough of Lady D’s insolence at his future BFF, Georgiana, and ravaging that rotten ass pineapple in vengeance

When Lady D calls out “Mr. Parker” and all three brothers turn around in unison - each one with their distinct personalities showing through

Tom and Sidney dressing alike for the Regatta - so cute

Basically the whole Cricket match & when Tom says “I really don’t think I am[out]!” (The timbre of his voice sounds exactly like how he spoke in "Love Actually" and I am always here for “Colin - God of Sex!” (But also FUCK TOM PARKER FOREVER, THO)

The way Sidney looks confused and aroused when Charlotte roasts him at the luncheon + tells him to STFU - she’s trying to concentrate - during The Cricket

How Sidney goes from stoic to cinnamon roll throughout 8 glorious episodes

Sidney’s soft voice

Georgiana not giving an ounce of a fuck about Edward & her immunity to his charms

"Who is your favorite poet?"

When it doesn't look like the laborers will show for The Cricket and Edward's all "CAN WE GO?!"

Every perfect thing Babington says to Esther

Esther's hair when she wears it down

The smile Esther gives when she & Lady D are playing cards after she didn't die

All the satin looks for the rich ladies (Georgi & Eliza's bitch ass)

All the WIND

The ROWING SCENE

The way Sidney says "Come on" to get Charlotte in the boat

THAT FUCKING ROWING SCENE

Sidney taking liberties and stealing body touches during that entire scene

"Keep your back straight..." & the impish laugh after he'd gotten away with such an intimate touch

Dr. Fuchs needing actual liquor to deal with Arthur & Diana's silly asses

WET SIDNEY

Charlotte's luscious wavy hair at the start of Ep 8

The Truest Self speech

All of Sidney's side eyes & spying on Charlotte's Young Stringer interactions

Young Stringer's bestie - that dude has balls and is so ride or die! Always supporting his bud in the fiercest way

The way The Beaufort girls say "Mr. Hankins"

The way the Beaufort girls always fawn over Sidney

"Admiral Heywood" - that whole adorable ass scene

Sidney's constant posing

The London carriage scenes with Char & Sid as a whole

The London carriage scene where Sidney emphatically says "I-COULD- NOT-HAVE-BEEN-ANY-CLEAR-ER..." That sounds EXACTLY how I imagine Theo actually argues IRL with people 😂

All the dancing

The brothel scene

Honestly - every Char & Sid scene is what I live for

Lady Denham ROASTING TOM'S USELESS NO-INSURANCE-HAVING ASS

Mary being so wrecked that Charlotte is leaving

Lady Susan's EVERYTHING

THAT👏MOTHER👏FUCK👏ING👏KISS

Sidney being awkward as fuck in general - but especially pre-💋

Charlotte being inquisitive & speaking her mind respectfully but also telling Sidney he sucks when he deserves it

The Char & Georgi friendship

Young Stringer & team winning the Regatta

Every profile shot of Sidney - good lord Theo is good from every angle!

BASICALLY ALL OF IT

Even though things are up in the air and I often say to myself "I kind of wish I never watched Sanditon..." (because FEELS, y'all) I'm so so so glad I did. I haven't been touched by a show or story or characters like this in a very long time. They will always be with me, I will always have random Sanditon quotes and scenes and images in my brain, and I will adore and cherish this series for the rest of my life.

FINGERS STILL MASSIVELY CROSSED THAT THE GODS BE KIND AND GIVE US A PROPER ENDING IN A SECOND SEASON.

[lyssismagical]

i finally found you, my missing puzzle piece

{The Glee/Parkner AU nobody asked for,, Based on S2 ep 6-8}

{TW biphobia/homophobia, bullying}

*

Being the only kid out of the closet at his school was hard enough for Peter.

Being on the Academic Decathlon, the nerdiest club in school, filled with the biggest losers according to all the popular kids in school, made it that much worse.

Peter likes to think it would’ve been different if he had been gay, still bad but in a different way. Being bisexual was like being a mythical creature to the other students.

Everyone on the Acadeca team were nice enough. They supported him, they cared about him, but they would never understand what it was like to be bullied for something he couldn’t change about himself. They would never understand how hard it was to walk the hallways scared for his life.

“Oh my god, Peter,” Ned gasps when Peter walks into the library for their Acadeca meet.

All eyes turn to him, staring at the bruises he’s sporting from yet another day where his bullies attack him for simply being bisexual. One of his eyes is swollen shut, blood drying under his nose and across his mouth from his split lip where he holds a wad of tissues, bruises dark and splashing out across his nose and cheekbones.

“I’m fine,” Peter says, voice low and shaking, giving away how much this is affecting him. There’s tearstains shining on his cheeks, smudged beneath his eyes from trying to hide the evidence. “Just- Let’s just keep going.”

“Who did this to you?” MJ demands, slamming her papers onto the table, eyes burning with anger. “We can’t just let you go through this.”

Peter shakes his head, grabbing a pen from Betty and preparing to take notes on MJ’s ideas for their Acadeca sectionals approaching. “I’m fine. Please, let’s just keep going.”

“We can’t just stand by while you get hurt like this, Peter.” Ned grabs his arm, trying to get Peter to look at him, but Peter keeps his eyes downcast.

“All of you have been bullied before too. I’m dealing with it, okay? Please, can we just move on?”

If Peter doesn’t want the help, they can’t really offer much. Plus, they don’t get it.

His bully, the main guy that hates Peter’s guts, threatened to kill Peter if he told anyone or tried to get him suspended. Peter’s scared.

“Here’s a job for you, Peter,” MJ says, tipping her chin up to appear stronger and taller. “I want you to sneak over to Osborn Academy and spy on their decathlon. They won their sectionals, nationals, and got second place in regionals last year, and we need to beat them at nationals.”

“Osborn Academy?” Peter repeats, dabbing at the blood on his upper lip, ignoring the looks of sympathetic glances from Betty and Liz.

MJ nods, picking up her stack of cue cards. “Yeah. They’re our biggest competition for nationals. We’re going to win sectionals, no problem, but we’re going to lose to The Academy.”

Peter shrugs, figuring he might as well. It’ll get him out of seeing his bully afterschool to get beat up again behind the school. It’s going to be hard enough to hide this from May.

Travis Wright is the quarterback of the school’s football team, has pretty low grades for somebody who’s still managing to stay in a STEM school, is too tall and too broad and looks older than most people, including the beginnings of stubble around his jaw.

And he’s been bullying Peter ever since the ninth grade when Peter came out as bisexual.

The bullying’s escalated from cruel words and being tossed in dumpsters, to being beat up behind the school.

He finds himself pulling on a jacket and tie that mostly resemble the ones at the Academy before heading over to the school. He’ll pretend to be a new student to spy on the acadeca team, it’s easier than trying to hide in the bushes or whatever stupid plan Flash came up with for him.

The Academy is huge, filled with boys wearing the same black and red uniforms as they make their way to classes around the school.

“Excuse me?” Peter calls out to the first boy he sees who doesn’t look incredibly intimidating.

The boy turns, golden brown curls flopping around his eyes as he smiles at Peter.

“I’m, uh, I’m new here?” he says, eyes wide as he stares at the way dimples crease in the boy’s cheeks.

“Well, hiya, new kid. I’m Harley Keener,” the boy replies, southern accent smoothing over Peter. He grins, and holds out his hand to Peter. “Come on, new kid, everyone is on their way to The Osborn Academy’s Academic Decathlon friendly competition.”

Peter tentatively takes Harley’s hand, letting him lace their fingers together and lead him down the hallway to the huge library, filled with people who clap for Harley when he ducks in with a bright smile.

“Your decathlon is… cool?” Peter asks, staring at the students filling the room. It’s not obvious who the jocks or the popular kids are when they’re all in uniform, but there’s so many students here that it’s obvious the popularity of their acadeca.

“Course it is,” Harley says, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “We’re putting all of our smarts into a competition, it’s a talent and it’s also fun. Why wouldn’t we be cool?”

Harley’s eyes linger on Peter’s bruises for a moment too long, casting his gaze to the floor and back. And then his hand slips out of Peter’s and he takes his seat at one of the two tables with more boys in uniform.

Their friendly competition is a little thing they do at the Academy where their team splits in two to face-off in a trivia game to see who knows more. Whichever team gets the most points, gets bragging rights and their pick of bus seats on the way to sectionals.

Peter, despite being in a room full of people, can’t seem to tear his eyes away from Harley who answers all the questions right with a sort of confidence Peter could never even imagine having. Harley’s smart and he’s sweet and he’s got this southern charm about him. Not to mention, he’s beautiful.

As soon as Harley’s team wins the little competition, Harley heads over to Peter, a half-smile gracing his face.

“Come on, I wanna talk to you,” he says, nodding down the hallway waving over some of his friends. Peter recognizes Harry Osborn, the son of the headmaster.

They lead him outside to one of the eating tables under the afternoon sun, offering him soft smiles.

“Are you from Midtown? Spying on your competition?” Harley asks, elbows leaning against the table. He doesn’t even look angry about it, he’s still got the same smile on his face like this is all fine.

Peter shrugs like it isn’t a big deal. “Your school thinks that Academic Decathlon is something to be celebrated.”

“Of course,” Harry speaks up. He takes a sip from his coffee, looking more nonchalant than ever. “It’s a show of intelligence, it’s the same idea as Debate Club or Chess Club or even Student Council.”

He tries to keep how upset he is off his face, but obviously he doesn’t do a good job because Harley’s expression softens and he leans back in his chair.

“Your school doesn’t think like that, does it? You’re being bullied for being on your team?”

Peter shrugs again, turning his gaze to his hands. “That and they all hate me for being bisexual.”  

The other boy, the quiet one, isn’t quick enough to hide the drop of his jaw.

“Somebody did that to you for you sexuality?” Harley exclaims, anger coloring his expression. “What the fuck? Why hasn’t he been expelled?”

“His parents are these super rich douchebags who’re sponsors for the schoolboard. Even if the principal wanted to, which she really doesn’t care about, he’d be able to get back in within a day if he wanted to.” Peter picks at his nails to try to hide the anxiety that thrums through his body.

Harley looks livid, like he’s prepared to murder somebody just for Peter, for somebody he just met. He waves his hands and mumbles a quick goodbye to the other two boys, leaving Harley and Peter alone.

“I used to be bullied too at my old school, back in Tennessee,” Harley explains quietly, shaking his head. “I came out as gay and suddenly everyone was turning their back to me. It was mostly just words and shoves, but I ran away from them. I let them win.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

Harley’s expression softens reaching across the table to take one of Peter’s hands. “Be the bigger person. Maybe they just need to be told what’s up. Being bisexual isn’t a bad thing. I don’t know how much you’ve believed everything they’ve been saying, but it’s not true. Teach them. Have courage and fight back, educate them.”

“And if they hurt me worse?”

“Osborn Academy has a no bullying policy, everybody’s accepted here and if somebody breaks those rules, they’re expelled, no second thought.”

May doesn’t have the money to afford to send him to the Academy. Peter doesn’t bother saying it, trying not to let the tears fall as he squeezes Harley’s hand.

Have courage and fight back.

*

When he gets shoved into the lockers the next day, a fist slamming into his cheek, he doesn’t let them do what they want. He doesn’t try to run. He doesn’t curl up and cry. He shoves Travis back.

“What the fuck is your problem?” he shouts, pain flaring through his cheekbone where he’s certain a bruise will bloom soon enough. “What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?”

Travis rolls his eyes and lifts his fist like he’s going to hit Peter again.

“You can’t punch me into being straight!” he continues, repeating Harley’s words in his head to hold himself together. Have courage. “No more than I can punch the ignorance out of you!”

“Don’t test me, Parker,” his bully says, glaring down at him.

What hurts him more than Travis ever could is that the fact that the hallways have cleared out. Nobody bothered to help him, nobody cared to even pick him up off the floor after this inevitably ends in blood and bruises. Everybody saw and they still left.

“You’re just scared, aren’t you? You’re just projecting one of your own insecurities onto me. You’re just a scared, ignorant, stupid boy who-”

And then Travis’s mouth is on his.

It barely lasts a second but it feels like hours pass where Peter’s heart beats hard and fast, and he shakes out of his own skin.

He comes to his senses enough to shove Travis’s chest, needing him off, away.

Horror and fear is immediately shrouded by shock and confusion, leaving him standing there, wide-eyed and jaw dropped as he stares at Travis.

“Oh god,” Peter breathes, stumbling a step backwards into the lockers again.

Travis shoves him up against the lockers, breath too warm, too close, as he hisses, “If you tell anybody about this, I swear to god, I’ll kill you, Parker. You know how easy it would be for me to throw in a few extra hits to your head and leave you to die in the dumpsters. Don’t fucking test me.”

Pain flashes through his head as he’s shoved harder into the lockers and then there’s nothing but numbness as he slides to the floor, takes the few more punches and kicks Travis throws, and then he’s alone and numb and shocked.

At some point, MJ appears at his side, all careful touches to his head and arms and soft words as she leads him up to his feet.

“Are you okay?”

Peter chokes on a sob and everything he’s built around him, all the bravery and the walls to make sure nobody found out, it all crumbles.

He falls into MJ’s awaiting arms, hiding his face against the crook of her shoulder, and lets himself cry.

He’s been bullied for three years and he’s reached the maximum amount of damage to his self-esteem he can handle. He can’t keep doing this.

Later, MJ guides him to the office where the principal gives the same spiel about how Travis’s parents have too much power in the schoolboard to have any lasting consequences, and then May arrives in a flurry of parental worry, smelling like the chemicals from work and a hint of her vanilla soap and holding him so tight.

He barely tells her the basis to the events. He lies and says it was a once-off thing, tells her it was about something trivial and dumb, that he’s safe at school. Because he can’t worry her about things she can’t fix.

Either he deals with this or May’s going to have to find a way to make enough money to get him into the Academy and she can’t afford that. He can’t put her under that financial stress.

Have courage.

*

Harley’s thumb traced over Peter’s newest bruise, a deep purple contrasting the paleness of his skin.

“I’m so sorry, Peter,” Harley murmurs, eyes shining with sympathy. “If I hadn’t told you to stand up to him…”

“Can you keep a secret?” Peter’s voice is filled with teary desperation, hands trembling as he grips his coffee cup.

Peter didn’t want to risk showing up to the Academy again, so instead, they’re meeting up at the coffee place that’s normally crawling with boys from the Academy, but today it’s pretty empty.

Tipping his head in concern, Harley nods. “Course.”

“He kissed me,” Peter blurts, lip trembling and hands shaking as his heart pounds in his chest. “I fought back and I called him a coward, and he kissed me. And then- And then he told me he’d kill me if anyone found out. I’m just- I walk the halls of my school terrified for my own life, Harley. I’m scared that he’ll, I don’t know, decide it’s not worth it to keep me around.”

The anger reappears like it had the day they met, fiery and upset, like the world has let him down one too many times.

“You can’t live like that, Peter. It’s not right, it’s not fair.”

“There’s nothing I can do!” Peter draws back enough to duck his face, hating knowing he can’t hide the bruising that litters his face, some old and some new, all hurting just the same. “I can’t get him expelled, I don’t have the money to involve cops, I don’t know how to fix this anymore.”

Harley gently takes Peter’s hand, his calloused and bigger than Peter’s, and tugs him to his feet.

He’s pulled into a hug, Harley’s arms wrapping around him and making him feel safe for the first time in months.

“We’ll figure this out,” Harley promises.

* It’s all a mistake that May finds out.

Travis had been leaving Peter alone, relatively. He was probably worried that if he did too much to Peter, the younger boy would spill the secret about the kiss. There were shoves here and there, and the insults never stopped, but Peter hadn’t been punched in a while, bruises finally healing.

Until, May’s coming to pick Peter up from Academic Decathlon after school one day.

Acadeca meetings are the same afternoons as Football practice. Peter’s waiting by their lockers with Ned and MJ, unaware of May rounding the corner, just as Travis comes out of the gym.

He barely looks at Peter as he shoves him hard into the lockers, not stopping in his journey to his own lockers.

MJ glares over her shoulder as she helps Peter up from where he’d fallen to the floor, Ned retrieving Peter’s backpack, as May reaches them.

“What was that?” May demands, voice quiet enough for Travis not to hear, but angry.

“It was nothing-”

MJ cuts him off before he can come up with a good excuse. “He’s been bullying Peter since the ninth grade.”

“Excuse me?”

“May, please-”

Ned grabs Peter’s wrist, cutting him off again. “It’s gotten worse than shoves. This is the first time all year that I’ve seen him without bruises.”

“It’s not that bad!” Peter exclaims, eyes wide as he looks over May’s shoulder at Travis who’s slinging his bag over his shoulder. “May, please, you can’t say anything.”

“Why the fuck not?” May’s hands are clenched into fists as she stares daggers at Travis who’s already heading down the hall.

Peter sighs, leaning his back until it hits the lockers, relieved that Travis is finally gone. There’s no way out of it.

“He threatened to kill me.” Peter can’t help the tears that threaten to fall, sick of feeling so scared at his school, sick of flinching at every locker slamming, sick of crying every night about something he can’t change.

There’s a collective gasp as the words sink in. May hadn’t even been aware of bullying. Between her night shifts at the hospital and Peter always having plans to get out of seeing her, she hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten. She’d seen a few bruises here and there, but none that screamed in danger. He always came up with excuses about falling or how it was just teenage things.

“You’re kidding, right?” Ned says, voice high with worry. “I knew it was bad but…”

“We have to tell someone. We have to get him expelled.”

Peter shakes his head, sinking to the floor and hiding his face in his palms. “His parents are these super rich lawyers, May. They’re the biggest sponsors of the schoolboard. Trust me, I’ve thought of every possibility. There’s nothing we can do.”

There’s a quiet moment while they all come up empty-handed. Solution-less.

Until, “What about Osborn Academy?” Ned offers. He sits down on the floor beside Peter, giving Peter the opportunity to rest his head on his best friend’s shoulder. “You’ve been gushing about that kid you met there.”

“Would it be safer?” May asks.

“It’s too expensive.” He lets MJ take his hand, offering him as much comfort as she knows how to. “It’s a private school with uniforms and everything, May. We can’t afford the tuition.”

May shakes her head. “I don’t care about money, sweetheart. I care about you being safe. Somebody threatened to kill you, I’m not letting you stay anywhere close to him.”

“May-”

“No, we’ll figure it out, Peter, it’ll be okay. For now, let’s get you home. We can watch one of those soaps that you like and eat ice cream and you’ll tell me all about this kid you met. Okay?”

Caving isn’t as hard as Peter thought it would be. He’s been so desperate for a solution and this is it. He’ll get to go to a school where he’ll be accepted and he’ll be able to walk the halls without fear of somebody turning on him.

“You deserve this,” MJ murmurs. “Even if we’re losing our best Acadeca teammate. We’re going to kick your ass at Nationals.”

“You wish, Em,” Peter grins, getting up and pulling Ned up with him.

He tugs his two best friends into a hug. “I promise I’ll text all the time and we’ll go out for coffee.”

May wraps an arm around his shoulders and they start off towards the exit. “Now, who’s this special kid?”

“His name’s Harley and he’s the greatest.” Peter launches into the story of how they met as they drive away from Midtown, and Peter has never been more relieved to be leaving.

Even though he’ll miss his own Acadeca family. Ned, MJ, Betty, Abe, Cindy, Zach, even Flash and Brad. He’s excited for the future Osborn Academy holds for him. Where people accept each other, their Acadeca team is considered cool, and there’s no bullying. Plus, there’s the obvious positive that he’s already got friends there. He’s sure Harry and Harley will accept him with open arms.

The future is brighter than it’s ever been.

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina  @spideygirl2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @tonystarkweneedyou 

[rpg-crafts]

Yarnia - Ch1 Pt2

As is only right before heading off on an adventure, no a Quest, Alani takes the elven templemaster's advice to leave an offering for their chosen guardian, Kunklava of the Forest. In turn, the templemaster offers a token of the guardian's favor. [Pick one item]

Suppressing the irreverent wish for food instead, Alani accepts the pendant. Ffingers tingling at the feel of magic within the pendant, Alani slips the charm around their neck, grudgingly thinking "Okay, maybe this is better than a meal. Might come in handy."

Their stomach grumbles quietly in disagreement. 

Like the road, the inside of the temple is intricately designed. Silently, Alani wonders at the cost expended by the town to keep the roads and temples in such good condition. Everything the Ranger has seen thus far of the town has been … ornate. Eyes drawn by one particular design, Alani pauses a moment to take record of the carving. [Roll 1xD10 = 5]

Wanting to continue on their way, Alani nodded in respect to the templemaster before exiting and returning to the road. [Roll 1xD6 = 4]

Shortly after leaving the temple, a shadow passes over the road bringing Alani to pause. Looking up, they see a massive winged beast - a wyvern of some sort - which lands with a roar across the path ahead. Stumbling back in shock, they fumble for their bow and quiver. Nocking one of their DPN arrows with hands that tremble slightly Alani stares up at the beast. Distantly Alani can hear the sound of screams and slamming doors. No help is coming in this fight. [Roll 1xD8 = 4]

"Well, shit," Alani curses. Distantly Dantes yowls in possible agreement. They might not be getting any help, but the beast has no such issues. A swarm of miniature animated shrubbery joins the fray as Alani desperately shoots ducks around attacks as best they can. With Alani providing a tasty looking distraction, Dantes darts in to harass the minions. 

Somehow the cat manages to take the full attention of the minions, allowing Alani to focus fully on the Wyvern. Aim focused on the wings and eyes of the Wyvern, Alani gets a few lucky hits on the creature.  [Roll 1xD20* = 2]

Apparently determining the pair to be too much effort for a meal, the Wyvern finally rears up and launches itself back into the sky. Its wings kick up a cloud of dust that leaves Alani coughing and vainly attempting to cover their mouth and eyes with the fabric of their poncho. As the dust dies down, all trace of the monsters are gone save for scuffs and prints in the dust. 

Now that the coast is clear, the townspeople find the courage to venture out of their homes and approach. 

"Cowards," Alani thinks as they gather up any arrows they can find left intact after the skirmish. Dantes rubs up against Alani's boot, calming the Ranger slightly. They did both survive after all. 

Brushing off the thanks of the town, Alani gathers some details of the surrounding wilderness - and common beast sightings. Beasts as large as the Wyvern, apparently, are a rarity this close to town. [Roll 1xD8 = 5]

As thanks for driving off the Wyvern, Alani also finally gets a meal as a final thank you from the town. In better spirits after a filling meal, Alani leaves the town, following the Innkeeper's directions for how to get to the next town. [Roll 1xD10 = 10]

Level Up! Gain 2 stat points. +1 STR , +1 DEX

*Knitter's Note: Calculating out 80 rows over 8 chapters (I'm guessing all 8 have similar row count?), I'll end up with a 6.3 ft long scarf. Which is kind of massive.... So I am choosing to skip one of the 6 row charts each chapter by rolling a D20 rather than 2 x D10's. I haven't read through the whole campaign yet... so I'll reevaluate the plan if there's any chapter that doesn't have double 6 row charts in it.

**Knitter’s Note 2: Watching Critical Role Campaign 1 while knitting this is fantastic. I’m super early in the campaign too, so lots of fun to knit a wyvern while Vox Machina is also fighting wyverns. (I thought it was cool at least, lol)

(no CritRole spoilers please, I’m on Campaign 1 Ep 21 and watching for the first time. I know.... super overdue....it’s amazing <3)

[popculturebuffet]

Top 10 Regular Show Episodes

Close Enough is Close! 2 more days and a show i’ve waited without hyperbole years for will finally land offically. While i’ve seen three episodes preelease, one because of a french film festival the other two because HBO made an oopsie, and it’s more than likely i’ll be seeing those episodes again thursday, it dosen’t make it any less special, as with an offical release comes the fandom finally becoming a thing and the ablility to watch the episodes over and over again.. on computer till HBO gets it’s shit together but still. IT’s a great time.  And my hype for the show made me revisit it’s big brother: Regular Show. Created by what would happen if you condesned california into a person, JG Quintel, Regular Show, as you all damn well know but I like doing anyway so as rigby would say, STOP TALKING, was about two slackers and best bros: Laidback hipster and hurricane when it came to talking to women, Mordecai and Rigby a high strung, idiotic, impulsive, and frequently angry racoon who worked, when they absolutley had to, at a park. Joining them at the park were their coworkers and later closest friends: Benson, their constnatly angry boss who constnatly belts out empty threats to fire them and has a rather sad personal life, Skips, a centuries old yeti whose literally seen it all and despenses advice for the duo and is voiced by everyone’s faviorite grandpa/jedi/murder clown Mark Hamill, Muscle Man, a grotesque blob of a man who likes  “My mom” jokes and breaking things, Hi Five Ghost, Muscle Man’s sidekick who got like.. one episode focusing on him alone over 8 seasons moving on, and Pops, an odd but unfailingly sweet and kind vicotrian era gentleman whose also basically immortal and is Bensons’ boss in name only.  The Park Crew spend their days working, or in our main duo’s case trying to get out of work to do anything else,  while dealing with every day issues that would quickly ballon into insanity. Getting pops a birthday present of Fuzzy Dice from a local pizza place ended up with the crew having to fight a bunch of anamatonic animals that were stashing diamonds in there. Trying to get concert tickets involved getting caffine from the nipples of a giant sentient coffee bean in order to stay awake long enough to do the extra work. And Mordecai trying to delete an embrarassing message off his crush Margret’s voice mail lead to him and rigby getting hauled in front of a bunch of a message guardians, one of which is a sentient smoke signal that wanted to burn them while the other replied with “we’ree not going to burn them when have we ever burned anybody”... I love and miss those guys. Oh and it’s resolved by having to playt he embarassing song he sang while said message beings groove to it then ask him to colaberate with them on their album. THis show was on all the drugs and I am all the hear for it. I could go all day obviously but this section is long enough as is, let’s move on. 

Regular Show came at JUST the right time for Cartoon Netowork: Similar to how the 80s doom patrol comic started off really bland and cookie cutter and not at all doom patrol and then grant morrison came in, had hte previous writer kill almost everything, then rebuilt it from scratch with crazy, CN had few shows left and was coming off a really terrible attempt at competeing with NIck and Disney Channel’s live action dommance with a bunch of dude broy reality shows and other ill conceved ideas. The network had a few shows, Total Drama, The Clone Wars which got better and I need to watch those better seasons at some point, but they weren’t enough to make the network thrive again.  SO enter adventure time and regular show: BOth were creative, funny , a bit rough around the ages, and kind of nuts, but both were massive hits: The shows hit almost every demographics sweet spots: Kids like the bright colors, fun designs, and insanity, teens loved the edgy bits of the humor and also the insanity and 20 somethings and older both found refrences they got and loved, and well.. insanity. I mean being fucking nuts but also wonderful is kind of the watchword for most animation nowadays. While in the past in my own head i’ve played down Regular Show’s part in things, after all it came second and had a rough patch I told myself.. but I was wrong. Both shows had a lot of the same elements; insane stuff, great voice acting and good humor especially as they evolved.. but both also evolved in largely the same way and that way helped change animation for the next decade: Both, despite being comeidies, regular show keeping to it a bit more than adventure time did as they evolved, had the characters grow, something a lot of animated comedies didn’t do as much ast the time, even the good ones. THey had season long arcs, things that are now standard features in most cartoons for good reason were MADE standard by these shows. It’s just regular show’s legacy got diluted by shows that TRIED to copy it but both failed to see that it grew past season one or that it’s being okay for kids but really based in adult life and problems meant copycats like fanboy and chum chum, sanjay and craig and breadwinners, all thankfully long dead, eventually sputtered out and died. That and Nick is REALLY shitty at maintaing shows or treating creators with anything resembling respect. Somehow Teen Titans Go is still alive despite having similar failings but you can’t win everything. It didn’t help gravity falls came along right after and proceded to be even more influentail than both of these shows. Hmmm I just realized I haven’t done any gravity falls reviews here.. I gotta get on that. But while the show got eclipsed in quality and popularity I do still think it holds up for the most part as funny, charming and with , for the most part, good character arcs, it’s just that a bit of incosntientcy, some abrubtly done actions and a REALLY fucking terrible arc in season 6 dull the show a bit in comparison to what came after, but I do realize now it’s still worht watching, remembering and laughing at. It may of not been the greatest, but damn it was good.  So with my nostaliga for the show popping up, my faith in it restored, and it’s sucessor showing up in a few days, I decided to do a little something for the ocassion. I WAS going to do a full on review, but had troulbe finding an episode as some of my faviorites are part of a larger arc that was hurt by a later arc, and the show ping ponged between slice of life and utter insanity enought hat it was hard to peg down to jus tone or two episodes. So while I WILL review the show eventually, it has both good and bad episodes needing it, I decided instead to dig out something I hadn’t done in far too long: a top whatver lists! Now while I do get these things are clickbaity, because they are, I.. honestly just love making them. Even if i’ts not for any specific purpose I just love ranking, the stress, even if I normally hate stress given my anxiety, of trying to narrow them down, and the satisfaction of taking a ton of episodes and melting htem down into the best of them. And with a show as long and varied as regular show, If igured this was the best way to show it off before I dived into it eventually. I’ll obviously be doing more top, and bottom lists in the future, but for now this seemd like a godo place to get back to it. As  Now a few more things before we finally get started. Yes I know i’ve gone on for a few years now but i’m almost done. This list is obviously, my opinon. If you disagree fine, and feel free to comment or shoot me an ask about it but I stand by my list and what I choose. I had to boil down over 60 episodes I picked to possibly  be on the list and even after it was down to 40 cuts were really difficult, .. Also just as a quick note there are no episodes from seasons 1, 6, 7 and 8, and that’s not on purpose, as the last two seasons are really good, it just fell out that way and i’m sorry about it. So with that out of the way grabs some sodas and wings, get out your maxi gloves, and bring out your best sentient earworms wearing sunglassses, after the cut I count down the top 10 Regular Show episodes. OOOOOOOOO!

10. I Like You, Hi (Season 5, Episode 26) As you’ll be able to tell by the rest of this list Season 5 is my faviorite, and it’s where I feel the series hit it’s peak before next season lead to it’s valley. It’s got a ton of great episodes, as this list will attest, some great character development, and was still really damn funny.  But what put it over the top for me was the Mordecai and CJ arc. At the end of the last season as you probably know the show wrote out Margret, having her finally get into college like she’d wanted since she got an actual character back in “Camping Be Cool” instead of just being “that hot girl mordecai really likes but is too scared to persue”, and another fantastic episode we’ll be getting to, Mordecai was in position to move on.  Re-Enter CJ. CJ was introduced earlier in the season 3 ep “Yes Dude Yes” which itself is really good, where Mordecai thought margret was engaged and with Rigby’s encouragment, ended up meeting CJ, stands for Cloudy Jay if your curious, a sentient cloud voiced by the wonderful LInda Cardenelli, aka wendy from gravity falls and currently co star of the equally wonderful show Dead to Me. Seriously go check it out on netflix, it’s really good. It naturally went pearshaped since Margret wasn’t engaged, he tried going out with both, she turned into a thunderstorm out of rage... as you do.. it’s like the season 6 plot but less infurating and more understandable.  But the two remeet, and had a kiss on new years while not knowing it’s the other person under am ask.. and then CJ ran and both thought the other was upset: MOrdecai for him being MOrdecai, and CJ for running out on him and agreed to be friends. That didn’t last, though it did give us another classic on this list, as while exes can be friends and all, the two still had something between them. Thus came this one. And it was a hard one as it barely inched out the finale of their relationship arc, Real Date, which had the ceo of a dating company try to break them up and be really damny funny but it’s ulitmatley this one being just as hilarious while being a great character piece that gets it the rub.  As the episode opens Mordecai and CJ have been spending a LOT of time together and i’ts clear there’s a spark there.. but Mordecai insists it’s platonic. And yes there is a bad habit of animation being unable to accept females and males who are into the oppistie sex can’t be friends without being attracted to each other. It’s being cleared up more lately, but as Star Vs showed it still happens sometimes. But it works here: The two STARTED with dating, made out on new years, and are attracted to each other it’s just clear both were in denial about it. It’s not saying “well they have chemstiry so fuck their partners’ like star vs or “if you loved someone once those feelings will return and destroy yoru current relationship” like next season.... season 6′s arc is a tirefire burn it.  But the issue is forced when, while texting about an extreme baking show together while CJ’s at her job at a sports bar, it autocrrects from Yuji, the show’s host, to you hi, sending the title message “I like you, hi”. Mordecai, being even less adept with his feelings and anxiety towards women than me and trust me that’s saying something, spirals and we do get the episodes best scene, narrowly beating out it’s climax, where Mordecai summons a war council.. aka the rest of the main cast minus benson but plus Thomas, the intern who I wish stuck around longer even after he turned out to be a russian spy because they ran out of ideas for him, voiced by Roger Craig Smith and distractingly using his future sonic voice. 

I just.. love everything about the scnee. From the term pulling a mordecai, to Rigby joining in, deservedly as he’s had front row seats for a lot of this bollocks, to everyone’s suggestions especially Muscle Man’s half assed one that somehow, but unsuprisngly, works for him and Starla.  Naturally Mordecai comes up with what Rigby HIMSELF admits is a Rigby level half assed scheme to get an actual photo with Yuji rather than just admit the truth. Yuji himself is an utter delight, having had his star not rise as fast as he’d like thanks to autocorrect and being entirely on board, and when it backfires as MOrdecai ends up autocorrected and sends the message thrice and gets sucked into the phone again, admits i’ts “pretty extreme’. I love the guy and i’m prety sure he showed up again, to my delight. 

In the phone Mordecai meets some old friends, the message guardians who I mentioned in the “insane shit this show has done” bit earlier: old forms of messaging who police texting, all voiced by Rich Fulcher of the Mighty Boosh and Snuffbox Fame. 

I love Rich and wish these guys could show up in close enough. Maybe they can, I don’t know how rights issues with turner properties work when it comes to two diffrent audiences entirely. Anyways what really makes the episode, besides the great callbacks in this scene, is when confronted with everything going on, Mordecai.. tries to run into the void, with Rigby, The Message Recorder and the Smoke Signal all encouraging him to come back. “There’s nothing out there for you, literally it’s just a blank void”. With the leading tape recorder pointing out from their text history not only how great CJ is but how much he seems to like her with Mordecai finally coming back and admitting the obvious: He does like her.. he’s just scared of beefing it again. Which he does but that’s not the point. Rigby, who as part of his character development helps Mordecai quite a bit with this stuff by being a neutral party, though he also likes CJ better than Margret which is a mood even though I don’t care which one you ship mordecai with frankly, you do you, I have my prefrences. And with that Mordecai finally texts her and asks her out, with her accepting via winky face.. with an added text to clarify it for his neuotic ass.. which is also a mood as my neuortic ass could use that a lot. Overall just a wonderful , hilarious and good bit of character growth.. that season 6 throws in the oven, but that’s a long rant for another day. On it’s own, “I LIke you, hi” is a good character piece for mordecai whlie still being really damn funny. 

9. Thanksgiving Special (Season 5, Episode 15)

Regular Show was really damn great at holliday specials. Their terror tales from the park every halloween were always a nice treat and a good replacement for Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” which still exists, it’s just no one cares at this point, and their christmas and new years episodes are both really damn good, the first Christmas Episode being in contention for this list even. But to me the best of the best was easily Season 5′s  thanksgiving episode. 

The premise is simple: Mordecai and Rigby accidnetly destroy thanksgiving dinner, which the park crew is having for everyone and their famllies and, refusing to take Benson trying to dismiss their attempts to help fix their mistake, end up joining a songwriting contest to try and win a Turducken.. a natural one that’s born every 1000 Years because this is regular show. To do this they have to beat a parody of everyone’s least faviorite president Donald Trump, Rich Buckner.  The fact that trump was basically the main villian of a holliday special a year before he became president is not lost on me and  is one of the most accurate depections of the man i’ve ever seen. The fact Rich steals the prize despite our boys winning from his blimp with a grappling hook is peak trump. The fact Trump has’nt stolen more things with a grappling hook in real life is only because his hands are too small to use one. 

Getting past our president for my own sanity, the episode also has really great subplots: Muscle Man and Fives go to  a sports bar to get sides and end up pissing off a former football player and getting into a touchdown dance comppetition, sadly not set to the super bowl shuffle, while Benson, Pops and Skips go to get a turkey and end up fighting over it with men dressed up like a piligrim, a first thanksgiving era native american and a turkey, to which they don’t even really give an explination for.. granted most explinatoins on this show are insane but even by regular show standards, this gets none. And I love it for it.  While as you can tell the episode is really damn funny, what really sells it is the emotional core: For once while they do fear for their jobs a bit Mordecai and Rigby’s main motivation in this messup is genuine guilt and wanting to fix their mistake, and they work hard at it, even giving a genuine and awesome heartfelt song that notches itself up with other thanksgiving classics “That thankstiginv themed soul sketch on snl” and adam sandler’s turkey song also from snl. Not a high bar but it’s really good regardless

The episodes’ real strength though is it’s emotional core: For once instead of saving their own asses or understadnably wanting to get one over on the cranky and in the worse written episodes obnoxiously overbearing benson, they simply feel terrible about possibly runing the meal for their arriving parents and everyone elses parents and families and their friends and work to right the wrong. It’s not the first time they worked to do something genuinely good with no benefit to themselves, but it’s probably the best and Benson’s I forgive you, while hilarious is also really sweet. And speaking of sweet

It ends on a really sweet and touching note, as Mordecai and Rigby, after escaping a blimp via a wish on a golden wishbone because of course, make it home to find the various weirdos the park crew met have brought them thanksgiving, and their parents will be there and we get a nice touching ending as the main duo get a well earned toast from Benson. Just an out and out amazing thanksgiving special and a good reminder of what the holiday means.

8. Trucker Hall of Fame (Season 3, Episode 37)

Moving on from Season 5 for a second, Season 3 was where the show really started to hit it’s stride to me. While Season 2 was a nice increase in quality from the sometimes choppy and heavy on “everyone is an asshole” comedy season 1, Season 3 was where the increased focus on the rest of the cast outside of our main duo balloned and what seeds of character were planted in season 2 beautifully bloomed. And this episode is one of the best examples of that.  This one focuses on Muscle Man, who earlier on was basically the main duo’s rival alongside his buddy high five ghost, and kind of a dick. While “Kind of a dick” never left any discription of Mitch Sorenstein, this and previous episode muscle woman showed there was more to the goblin man than we thought. It’s also one of regular show’s few early mostly serious episodes and unlike the benson ones, again this list was tough don’t come at me with a machete, and realy showed why muscle man is the human tire fire he is. The episode introduces, and quickly kills off, muscle dad, mitch’s dad who gave him a love of pranks and was a truck driver who died as he live: mistaking a fake bear for a real one during a prank. Muscle Man being not the most stable person on a GOOD day, spirals, as seen above, and Benson tasks mordecai and rigby, since Fives isn’t good with death ironically and isn’t holding up much better, and as a much later episode shows the two became besties in high school so he probably knew muscle dad for a good ten years so he’s probably not in a great place either, nice stuff, to go with him to put his dad’s ashes in the trucker hall of fame.  What follows is a sweet and damn sad episode. While Mitch’s frequent breakkdowns can be hilarous their also really sad and having lost my grandpa since this episode aired, I can relate to being fine one minute and a total shrieking wreck the next over the smallest thing. But it also shows that Mitch genuinely thinks of our main duo as his friends, and that beneath his testorrone positned exterior he’s a decent guy, being genuinely greatful. Of course being regular show the 3 end up squaring off with some truckers, while Mitch also grappels with the revelation his dad wasn’t one but a forklift opperator who faked being a trucker for his son’s benifit and dleft a tender note in his picture, figuring correctly his son would break it open when he found out... oh and because this show is still nuts his ghost ends up saving them at the end which is really sweet , as mitch decides trucker or no his ashes deserve to be there. Also his ghost shows up again at thanksgiving so apparently he can just come back once in a while, which is nice but dosen’t demnish the bittersweet feeling of this ep. And as I said the show has a good grasp on continuity as this ep marked a turning point for our main duo and muscle man: while the’yve bonded before after this, aside from mitch’s habit of christmas pranks and his faking his death, they really don’t nearly get as annoyed by him ever again. i’ts a sweet touching ride tha’ts uncharacristic of the show’s usual chaos but really works. 

7. A Bunch of Full Grown Geese (Season 4, Episode 19) After a few episodes that were more sentimental on this list, it’s good to get back to some good old regular show madness for this one, which was also the series 100th in production order and is a worthy milestone episode. Season 4 was really good building on the good will from Season 3 and FINALLY having payoff to the margret and mordecai thing, more on that in a bit. Not as much to say as seasons 3 or 5, but it was still spectacular.  The sequel to another ep, fittingly given it’s #100, full grown geese has our duo tasked with removing a bunch of obnoxious geese, with Benson in dick mode refusing to give the two more help, though it does lead to one of the show’s best scenes when he gives his usual your fried threat.. and fitting a milestone episode, Rigby calls him on never going through with it and the threat being as empty as my dreams. Benson responds by going nuts and angrishing them out of his office.. really funny. But yeah with the geese attacking them and , in their first attacking, poor pops, and no way to combat them, the two turn to the baby ducks, a bunch of baby ducks from the episode titled that who show up to help.. and this being the 100th episode of an already grant morrison level nuts show, it turns out the geese seek to conquer earth, voiced by david warner of course and have laser eyes.. and can combine. And the ducks do so again, mecha style, and add in our heroes and a bunch of call backs in one of the series best and most batshit sequences> The ending is also throughly satisfying as while our heroes win, Benson chews them out for tearing up the park in the process.. only for the ducks mom to call him out for not only yelling at the ducks, who are just kids, but at mordecai and rigby after they just saved the park from being a smoldering crater and not just trashed and he backs off. Just a fun episode where the crew just went nuts and the results speak for themselves. 

6. This is My Jam (Season 2, Episode 13)

Now this one I couldn’t NOT include. This is one of the series best even after it’s immense growth, and a beloved classic for a reason. And like the above it’s a good classic case of regular show hyjinks while also being relatable this time: Rigby gets a brainless but catchy pop song from the 90′s stuck in his head and despite growing to hate it, and Mordecai hating it because this episode establishes him as a hipster, and seemingly exercises it.. only for it to manifest as a GIANT CASETTE WEARING SUNGLASSES THAT PLAYS THE SONG JUST BY EXISTING AND DANCES CONSTANTLY. it’s utterly glorious and used to great effect, also annoying benson because he’s constnatly annoyed. To beat it the main duo get the rest of the park’s help at Skips suggestion to form a band and craft an even BIGGER earworm to cast it out. Oh and there’s a great scene where Pops is forced to awkwardly dance with the incarnation of the 90′s “But I won’t use my best moves”.  The climax also has one of Benson’s best moments as, after he’s irritated all episode, he comes in hot, with both the cast and audience expecting him to chew out mordecai and rigby.. only he’s mad because they forgot drums are key to an earworm and saves the day with his drumwork. It’s a great subversion and one of the first times Benson was more than just the angry but understandable, at times, dickhead boss. Just an utter standout and one of the show’s most memorable episodes for a reason. Also the line “you can’t touch music but music can touch you’ is great. 

5. Meteor Moves ( Season 4, Episode 28)

This one was a long time coming and to me is a great example of writers taking their own shortcomings and making something awesome out of them. I prefer that: instead of just retconning away bad writing use it as a tool.. I try to do that myself when possible. See early in the show as you all probably know, Mordecai’s crush on Margret was just a plot device: he had a crush on the cute waitress at the coffee shop so they used it to get him to do things. A gratioutis shot of her in bike shorts got him to bet all computer rights for life that sort of thing. The show.. wasn’t great with female characters till season 3 and even as it grew, as season 6 and just.. forgetting to give CJ a proper ending as a character shows, still grappled with it. It took writer Kat Morris saying “no no stop go to jail” to them wanting ot make CJ a difficult woman type, whatever horrifying thing that is. I don’t want to know, let’s move on. The point is it wasn’t till season 3 that Margret and her best friends, and Rigby’s future wife, Eileen got fleshed out a bit: Eileen got smarter and turned out to be good at wilderness stuff while Margret was chill, nice, if annoyed by the chaos around mordecai, and funloving, while also having a clear goal in stark contrast to her future boyfriend: going to college. Even after coming back it was botha fter finsihing college and to start a career. It wasn’t incredibly deep, but it made me not be ehhh to her mere existance like before. The show also started developing her and Mordecai’s relationship seriously with the two bonding and the previously shown Butt Dial showing for the first time, after previously having a terrible taste in men and then just not noticing his crush, that she was receptive to how mordecai felt. And the two had several moments and two dates even, it just.. never went anywhere for some reason.

And this was INFURATING to me: See back then shows had a tendency to just pop in love intrests SOLEY for plot fuel like margret with no intention of following through with things either through rejection or a relationsihp upgrade and by then I was sick of it. The whole spike and rarity thing in MLP (which to be clear I wanted her to just reject him but nope, even after I stopped watching she never did. ), Isabella and Phineas. I was fed up so I went from being “eh” about it to annoyed supremely.. but the thing is the writers realized this.. and course corrected. The first step was picking up Margret, where Mordecai agrees to pick her up to get her to the airport for a college interview and we get a nice deconstruction of things as Margret is anticpatiing things going wrong, and wrongly blames Mordecai for it.. I mean it is his fault sometimes but half the time weird shit just follows him. However she’s won over by him working past it, getting her there in time and kisses him.  That blew me away and made me think well it’s finally here.. and it was.. ALMOST. However the creators wisely, if frustratingly to past me, took one more episode to iron it out: Metor Moves has the two growing closer, and semi-going out, but Rigby pops mordecai’s bubble pointing out he never actually made a boyfriend girlfriend move and her move could’ve gone either way. So Mordecai , after seasons of being wishy washy and awkward, finally decides to go for it as he, rigby, eileen and margret go to a metor shower.  Being Regular Show it dosen’t go as planned as his attempted kiss is blocked by the guardians of the friend zone.. which is a real, phantom zone esque place here and that’s just fantastic. And it’s also clearly mocking the hell out of the concept, which is dumb. if you want to ask someone out just do it, I learned that the hard way. And if you really are friends, if she says no then you’ll accept it and keep a friend anyway as I have. But it’s clearly parodying it and Mordecai get sreplayed all the times he ALMOST made a move but didn’t but refuses to accept this clusterfuck, realizes he was a screwup when it came to this.. and kisses her.. and this time the two enter a relationship> Granted it barely lasted but still, it was nice while it did and this ep is just great for it. While not the funniest, it’s up this high because it took somethign the show did wrong.. and turned it on it’s head and into a character flaw and had mordecai grow past it, with a genuinely romantic moment on top as well as an utterly funny and batshit concept. It also had some Rigleen, as by this point rigby stopped being a hateful wastebasket to her and warmed up to her, and I regret there’s no reigleen episodes on this list. Their the shows best couple and utterly adorable. Just wanted to mention that at least once this list. 

4. Laundry Woes (Season 5, Episode 1) From the begining to the end. While sadly Morderet didn’t last too long in canon, which blows, it did give us some great episodes while it lasted, as with the above entry and their breakup in Steak Me Amedeus. As mentioned before Margret left for college, which while abrupt feeling did pave the way for great stories: The Mordejay arc mentioned above and that will pop up again very soon, This was one of them: the ep while lacking on laughs is a good emotional rollercoaster and starts with an amazing montage that catches us up from the end of season 4: Mordecai is miserable, as you’d expect and wallowing in it with Benson, of all people, letting him. And given Benson seems to have a heart attack any time Mordecai and Rigby aren’t working, that’s huge. But eventually his friends refuse to let it go on and in a really touching montage help him through it, taking him out places, giving him good times and eventually.. the fog starts to lift and he starts to enjoy himself and by the end.. he’s himself again. It’s one of the series best sequences, told with no dialouge and showing just how far the rest of the cast had come: Benson actually wants to comfort mordecai but is encouraged not to at first, underfstandably as it probably woudlnt’ help, and a crew that were once, aside from Pops who much like Krillin is everyone’s friend, just coworkers who barely tolerated each other, and are now close as family and help their own in need.  But Grief isn’t a straight line and just as Mordecai’s recovering he’s sent spiraling when he finds Margret’s sweater and uses ita s a flimsy excuse to go return it. It’s here I also get to talk about Rigby, who grew from an impatient idiot who hated Mordecai’s romantic endevors and actively sabtoaged them at times, to an understandting wing man who, while understandably frustrated with his best friend’s own idiocy with women, turned out to know more and be the wise council he needed, triggering both is relationships and only bailing out during the season 6 clusterfuck and even then was there to comfort him after it was all over and go to his aid to pull him out of another misery hole. And here he gives Mordecai the hard truth: He shoudln’t do this, it’s just going to tear both him and margret up again and he just put himself back together. He’s not going to let his best friend do this to himself. And while there is a supernatural elment, the sweater comes to life and tries to get Mordecai to force margret back with him and give up college, likely voicing his darkest wants that he hates himself for wanting, but it feels more like a manfiestation of Mordecai’s own issues than the usual madness. Like “Trucker hall of Fame”, a rare senntence, it’s a less funny packed more grounded episode. And in the end it’s mordecai himself, after rejecting the ghost sweater and seeing his ex truly happy , that gets him to NOT talk to her and just.. let it go. IT’s a good emotional episode and SHOULD HAVE BEEN the end of their relationship... but i’ve ranted about the cheating storyarc enough here, moving right along. 

3. Portable Toilet (Season 5, Episode 16) Back to the Mordejay arc. And yes this arc is my faviorite and while I didn’t make it clear at the time I really shipped the two, even before it became canon. I had nothing against morderet, these two simply had more chemistry and these episodes built CJ up as more of a character than Margret was at the time. It’s why that later arc sucks so much to me: it destroys a perfectly good relationship and story arc for dumb reasons and never really did enough with it to justify doing so. I’ll get to it some day, or if someone comissions it soone rthan some day, but as you can tell i’m still sore over it and great eps like this are part of the reason why. It’s the same reason i’m sore on how Tom was handled on star vs. But as you can also tell as bitter and lemon scented as I am.. these eps are still objectivley great and thus took up a third of the list basically.  Case in point Portable Toilet, which zooms back a bit to when neither would admit they were into each other but were now friends at least. Also Eileen was CJ”s friend now because plot convience. I mean they worked, and it bothers me a lot that the creators claim cj washed her hands of her even though she’s not the one who made out with margret... which come to think of it adding her to rigleen.. not a bad idea. I mean Rigby didn’t really like margret true, but they did almost go out before mordecai killed him and then reset time because Mordecai’s always kinda sucked. I’ll file that away for later. But my new OTP aside, I did like the two bonding and what not.  Anyways with their outside park friend/RIgby’s future girlfriend now friends with Mordeai’s future girlfriend the four have apparently been hanging out which, while i’ve bemoaned off screen stuff at times, works here and regular show uses it better than most shows. While Rigby can clearly see Mordecai and CJ are into each other Mordecai is as we covered in denial and while that dosen’t really progress here, it does lead to one of teh shows finest hours. When talking would you rathers, CJ semi-flirtly dares Mordecai to eat his lunch sandwitch in a portable toilet, which he agrees to and drags a reluctant rigby along for. This being regular show, it goes south fast as the two get stuck, with Rigby’s clautrophiba kicking in leading to an amazing exchange Mordecai; Dude that makes no sense! Rigby: You’s makes no sense! While our dynamic duo try to get mordecai and rigby out the two are carted away and repalced with a new portable toilet, a deluxe one. Also we get another great bit when our dynamic duo find Muscle man, in a robe with choclate’s claming “Eileen, other girl, this isn’t weird” before screaming “This isn’t weird”. Turns out old portable toilets are taken to be blown up by the miltary and we get one of the shows best one off characters in the general, who not only explains it as “toilets being about the same size as the enmy” but when told he should call the president says “the preseident is not my father i’ll blow up as many toilets as I want.”. Spectacular. So now it’s a scramble for one twosome to rescue the other, Rigby lets out a cathartic “THANK YOUUU MORDECAI” over the flirty toilet dare, and the day is saved> This one is another pure comedy one, even if it ties into a plot I really like, and i’ts gold for obvious reasons and manages to take blowing up porta poties, a premise that dosen’t seem that funny, and make it utter comedic gold. Speaking of pure comic episodes that are utterly insane...

2. Cool Bikes (Season 3, Episode 7)

This one feels like regular show boiled down to it’s core: semi-relabtale hyjinks dovetalling into pure madness. And the premise sounds like a shit post i’d make: Mordecai and Rigby want benson to admit their cool and get into progressively weird outfits and tricks to their bycycles to do so, eventually becoming so cool their put on trial by the council of cool , ending up having to make a runner when Benson finally breaks down and admits it.  The premise is utterly stupid in the best way possible, with the conflict being the kind of petty bullshit we all get into from time to time with our aquantinces: not wanting to admit something and loose the argument withthings escalating. And in regular show terms it escalate sperfectly into the entire unvierse being threatned adn our heros being on trial for their lives. There’s not much to say here, it’s just pure comedic gold with a premise that just works. It also has good moments for Benson with his finally admitting they are cool and saving the duo’s lives whne he realized he just gave them a death sentence. Utter fun. And now we come to the finale, my faviorite episode...

1. Dodge This (Season 5, Episode 15) 

Yup this arc again. But this one has more than my ship going for it, and it’s why it soared to the top: It takes the excellent character work of other episodes and weaves it with excellent comedy to create an utter delight and the episode I remember most fondly and most often. It’s just great. The second part of the Mordeijay arc, not counting yes dude yes, the episode is half that and half sports movie: The Park Guys have been taking part in dodgeball as a team bulding thing and it shows how far Benson’s come as he not only praises mordecai, and launches the mordecai and benson ship in the process, but gives his team full wings and his full support, a far cry from his usual self. It’s also the first big instance of him getting hammered on wings and it’s glorious to see drunk flirty benson.  Benson is also genuinely congratulatory to the team’s ace mordecai, and most of them realy for b eing valuable and hopes to win this year.  IN their way are two things: The magical elements, aka the floating baby heads that gave skips his immortality, his friend with sparkly eyes who works for them and death himself whose a recurring character and fucking great and who were their bowling rivals too. The other is CJ is back, and Benson in another good moment actually talks mordecai through it and his nerves over it assuring him. So we get a great sports piece as our heroes work through various callbacks and even beat the magical elements iwth Rigby’s hilarious and rediculous rignado manuver, which is as dumb as it sounds and winged a guy hilaroiusly before with Benson scolding him like a toddler.  Of course it ends up with Mordecai and CJ against each other, both incredibly awkard over things as mentioned before, and both ending up in a stalmate that magical dodgeball guardians have to resolve because, let’s do this one last time. IT’S REGULAR SHOW. We do get a good moment though as the two work through their awkwardness: both thinking the other is rightfully mad: Mordecai for his two timer date with her and Margret and CJ for running out without talking to mordecai after they had a moment on new years. The both work past it, the park strikers loose,benson likely gets hammered again off screen.. it’s a good one and I have no shame in putting it at number one. It’s got heart, really great jokes, and some good charcter stuff, not to the level of other episodes on this list, but it wasn’t a full episode of that like those were and still works to move the plot forward and is still a classic. Just a fun, breezy, well done epsidoe fully rooted in the cast’s characters and getting laughs out of that.. mostly benson.  And with that this giangantic list comes to a close> I hope you enjoyed it, if you liked it follow me for more. I’ll be doing close enough coverage every week, as well as amphibia and owl house among other reviews. Until we meet again, later days. 

[timeaftertime-chriscornellfanfic]

Chapter 12 - Right Place, Wrong Time

Seattle Washington, July 24 1988

(Andi is 18, Chris is 24)

ANDI: "Xana...? Have you seen my little note book? " I ask as I scour my bedroom, opening up the drawer to my nightstand, trying to find where it could be.

"What notebook?" She asks as she appears in my bedroom doorway, tying her golden curls up into a messy ponytail on top of her head.

"My little black notebook - pad thing I always carry with me," I say, flipping my curls out of my face as I close the night stand drawer.

In the 6 months since Chris and I have officially been together, we have been practically inseparable, even writing together and coming up with songs that I otherwise wouldn't have ever come up with myself. He is the only one that I've ever shown my silly poems and lyrics to - only because I don't think I'm that great at lyrics, I pretty much consider myself just a guitar player and that's it - but he encourages me which makes me feel like maybe my lyrics aren't so dumb.

I never thought in a million years that I would ever find the one that I was meant to be with so soon. He is my other half, the person that completes me. He is amazing in every single way. I can't imagine my life without him.

I haven't slipped since last September and it feels amazing. I know at some point I do slip back in time to meet Chris, but I'm just going to focus on being here with him in the present. There are times when Chris will mention something to me that has happened for him - like the time he apparently stole a guitar for me. The black Gibson Les Paul that he has is apparently really mine, and he just kept it for me for when I meet him in my time (or really the present) - and he'll go on and on about it while I look at him like he has two heads or something. Then he catches himself, realizing that then is his past but my future and well... you just gotta love Time Displacency Syndrome - I know I do.

It's such a beautiful guitar too. I can't believe he stole it. Like, what in the fuck was he thinking? I hope I gave him shit for it.

"No, I haven't seen it... why? Do you need it or something?" She asks, putting her hands on her hips.

"Well kinda... but..." I trial off as I get down on the floor and look under my bed.

"Andi, just find it later... we gotta get down to The Moore. Your man is playing tonight," She says in a sing song way, raising her eyebrow and smirking at me.

"Yea..." I smile shyly back feeling those butterflies flip around in my stomach as I flip my curls out of my face and rise from the floor. I glance down at myself adjusting my Dead Kennedy's t-shirt that I made into a tank top, then grab a bottle of my favorite perfume - then one that drives Chris crazy- and spritz a little bit on my neck.

"Damn girl, you look like you're going to a Guns N' Roses concert or something," Xana says as she glances over my ripped up black leggings with my Doc Martens.

"Oh god, I don't look like one of those girls do I?" I asked worriedly. The last this I want is to look like a groupie girl with her hair teased, though I don't tease my hair...but you know what I mean.

"No, no not at all. You look amazing. Chris's eyes are going to pop out of his head when he sees you though,"

"Good, 'cause that's what I was going for," I say and we both giggle.

*****

The Moore Theatre, Seattle Washington

ANDI: Xana and I arrive at The Moore early, with only a few people up around the bar having a few drinks. As we walk through the open floor area, I see Kim up on stage, randomly plucking a few strings on his guitar, checking out his foot pedals and making sure they are working ok.

The first time I met Kim, which was only a few days after I met Chris, we instantly hit it off. He is a metal head just like me, bonding over different guitar tones and getting the perfect amount of distortion out of our amps. Kim had heard of me before through Andy but for obvious reasons - since Soundgarden was on tour - we've never crossed paths. For Kim being 10 years my senior, he was impressed with my playing and how I don't seem like your typical 18 year old kid. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm young but if he only knew...

"Hey Kim, is Andy back stage?" Xana calls out as we approach the stage.

"Yea, go on back, he's waitin' for ya," Kim says as he plucks a few strings. Xana pats me on my arm and she heads over to the side stage door and disappears. Kim then decides everything seems to be set up and sounding ok, so he sets his guitar down on it's stand and jumps down off the stage, his long jet black hair all around him.

"C'mon back, I know you're dying to see Chris," Kim smirks and I smile shyly as I follow him backstage. I still feel awkward when meeting them here before a show. I don't know why, I guess it's just my natural shyness coming out. Kim lights up a cigarette while I follow him through the door, and as we walk down the long corridor, I see Chris standing in the hallway, his beautiful tall frame leaning against the brick wall. He looks amazing in his ripped jean shorts, his Doc Martens and a plain black T-shirt with his dark curls all around him.

Kim pats me on the shoulder and disappears into the dressing room and as I approach Chris, I see him talking to someone - someone who I haven't met before.

"Hi baby," Chris smiles as he turns to see me. He reaches out for my hand and I take it giving a shy smile.

"Um, this is Susan Silver," He says introducing us. Susan holds out her hand for me to shake as she smiles so sweetly at me. She has gorgeous dark eyes and a presence that is definitely revered. She's beautiful.

"She's our manager," Chris adds glancing back at me.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you... Chris has told me so much about you already, I feel like I already know you," She says. That's definitely not the first time I've heard that from anyone.

"Thank you," I smile back shaking her hand.

As Chris pulls me in a little closer, his hand grazing my lower back, we end up chatting with Susan a little more, though it was mostly her and Chris talking about management stuff, dates and schedules. Apparently he has another small promotional tour coming up in August with the release of their next EP for Sub Pop records as they continue to work on their full length album - which they have yet to sign a contract for. I stay quiet listening to them, feeling completely out of place, and I notice that they do have some sort of chemistry between them that I couldn't quite explain.

"Um, well I should get back so, I'll see you guys Tuesday?" She says to Chris.

"Uh huh,"

"Alright, see you then... and once again, it was good to meet you Andi," She says sweetly to me.

"Um, you too," I say, feeling self conscious and she turns and heads towards the back entrance to The Moore. Chris then brushes my curls off my shoulder and places a kiss to that spot just under my earlobe.

"You look so good baby,"

"Thank you," I say as I close my eyes for a moment, feeling his lips on my earlobe.

"Mmmm, you smell so good too," He says, his voice deep in my ear.

"You um... you never mentioned her before," I clear my throat as I place my hand on his chest and pull away from him just a little.

"Who...? Susan?" He asks and I nod as he continues to hold me in the corridor.

"It's just business babe... I didn't think it was important," He gives me that cute coy smile.

"I just thought since she knows so much about me already, you would've told me about her," I say glancing down at his necklace, reaching up and playing with the silver ring attached to it.

"Oh... well there's not really much to tell... she manages the band. She pretty much handles the business side of everything - "

"No I mean like, her as like a person or... something," I say as I look up into his eyes for a moment then back down at his necklace.

"Well... you've met her now, so that's pretty much how she is... I guess..." Chris looks down at the ring on his necklace that I keep playing with and then looks at me with that same look of confusion. I'm not sure why but I feel like he's hiding something from me.

"Hey! You two coming in here or what?" Andy leans out of the dressing room door, clad in his usual flamboyant charm as Stone and Jeff make their way passed him into the room.

"C'mon baby," Chris says sweetly placing a kiss on my forehead. I decide to just try to put my uneasiness aside for now and ask him more about her later. He takes my hand to lead me into the dressing room, but I stop him. I start to feel this strange euphoric sensation, one that I haven't felt in months. He turns back and sees the color draining from my complexion.

"Chris... I'm uh... I don't feel so great," I say as a sudden wave of dizziness begins to wash over my entire body.

No... no, please don't let me -

"Babe?" Chris asks worriedly reaching out, and the next thing I feel is my naked body on a cold tile floor in a darkened room, trying to catch my breath.

CHRIS: It's a sight that I haven't seen in a long time. It's also a feeling that I haven't felt in a long time. That feeling where you don't understand why your heart just dropped out on to the floor and though you try to pick it back up and place it where is once was, you know it won't be there until that person you love more than anything comes back.

"Holy shit! Wha- what the- the fuck just - holy shit! Did she just - did Andi just -?" Andy comes running over to me with a beer in his hand as I pick her clothes up off the floor.

"Yea, she did," I say flatly trying to keep myself together. No matter how many times I've seen her do this, I never get used to it and I probably never will.

"Chris, man what the fuck?! How the hell are you so -I mean - Holy shit!" He exclaims practically in disbelief though he saw her disappear before his eyes. He stands there staring wildly at the spot where Andi had been, realizing that it was real. She actually slipped back in time.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Kim asks as he leans against the dressing room doorway sipping his beer.

"Fuckin', Andi just disappeared," Andy says turning back to Kim.

"Why...? She go home or somethin'?" Kim asks taking a sip of his beer, having no clue what Andy meant.

"No dude, she disappeared disappeared... you know... vanished... slipped," Andy says trying to explain to Kim waving his hands frantically trying to think of the words.

"What are you talking about?" Kim laughs and Andy takes her Dead Kennedy's shirt from my hands and shows Kim, re-iterating that she had completely disappeared on the spot.

"I'm talking about Andi, she time slipped," He says to Kim.

"Did you take another one of those pills again?" Kim chuckles at Andy and raises his eyebrow at me.

"No he didn't. Andrea... she... she can travel... through time," I say quietly looking down at the rest of her clothes that I held in my hand. Kim's expression falls as he realizes that we aren't playing around at all. He takes another sip of his beer and looks at the both of us, trying to think of something to say.

"I know it's completely insane and hard to believe - "

"Yea but dude, I saw her do it, she just... poof... "Andy cuts me off and motions with his hands how she went 'poof' so to speak.

"Ok... um... Do you know where she went? Is she ok?" Kim says slowly trying to wrap his head around the whole thing.

"More like 'when' she went," Andy says and I give him a nudge with my elbow.

"I honestly... don't know, " I say after a few moments as they both look at me for answers.

Then we hear a loud noise coming from one of the bathrooms that was beside the back entrance and what sounded like a girl screaming. I look back and forth between Andy and Kim as my heart started to pound and I instantly turn and run in the direction of the sound. Andy picks up her clothes from the floor and they both run after me as I turn the corner down along the long hallway to the back entrance bathrooms and I see her at the end of the hallway, completely naked on the cold floor.

"Fucking, what the - ? "Kim starts, slowing down behind us as I run up to Andi as she continues to cough, laying on the cold tile floor of the back of The Moore theatre.

"Oh my god, baby hey... I'm here," I say as I take her in my arms and hold her on the floor, trying to cover her as best I can though I'm pretty sure that her being naked is the last thing she cares about. I just really don't want anyone to see her naked though.

"The fuck-?" Andy says as he stares at us in disbelief.

"Can you get Xana?" I ask as I hold Andi in my arms, brushing her curls from her face as she attempts to catch her breath. Andy and Kim just stand there, apparently not even noticing the question that I asked, their eyes completely full of worry and confusion.

"Guys! Can you go get Xana!?" I repeat looking up at them, and they snap out of their daze and head off to go back to the dressing room to get Xana.

"Chris?" Andi says sweetly after she catches her breath and I look at her in my arms.

"I'm here baby, I'm right here," I say not knowing what exactly to say but thankful that she came back to me, especially so quick too.

"I was with you. The first time... in your moms house, in the basement - I was with you. You were only..." She trails off.

"15?" I ask as a smile spreads across my face remembering it so vividly.

"Yea... you looked so different. Your hair was so short and... you were so young," She says looking into my eyes with her arms around my neck.

"I'm sorry I came at you with a bat," I say trying to make a joke and she giggles that cute little laugh that I love so much. She then pulls me to her, wrapping me in a hug, holding me so tightly as my hands softly stroke her back, her soft skin feeling incredible underneath my touch.

"I love you so much Chris," She whispers in my ear and I have this overwhelming feeling inside of me that I can't describe. I have never loved anyone in my life as much as I love her.

"Andi! Oh my god, Andi!" Xana exclaims as she runs up to us with Andi's clothes in her hands. She pulls away from me, wiping her eye as tears had suddenly began to fall down her cheeks.

"Holy shit, are you ok? Are you hurt? When did it happen? How long - "

"Xana, Xana... I'm ok... I'm ok," She giggles as and I reach up and wipe away a tear from her cheek. Xana sits down with us on the floor looking frantic and worried but Andi re-assures her that she's really alright, just a little embarrassed that she slipped in front of everyone.

"Damn girl, that scared me half to death... you think maybe you should tell everyone now? You know just in case something really bad happens... god forbid though," Xana says as she hands over her shirt and leggings.

"I think it's a little late for that," I say to Xana and Andi gives me a sheepish glance.

"I just don't want everyone treating me differently, and I don't want anyone to worry," She says.

"No one's going to treat you differently. We love you, and I know Chris here really loves you, so don't worry about us. We just want you to be ok... ok?" Xana smiles.

"Alright, I guess you're right," Andi says. Xana sweetly brushes a curl from Andi's face and taps her on her arm then leaves to give a few minutes to ourselves so that Andi can get dressed again.

"I guess I made quite the commotion..." She says as she glances into my eyes.

"Yea... yea you did," I exhale as I brush another curl off of her forehead and play with it between my fingers. I then touch my forehead to hers, and place a kiss on those beautiful lips of hers as I hold her on the floor in the back of The Moore theatre.

*******************************************************************************************

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

THURSDAY OCTOBER 8, one of the longest running television shows of our time begins airing the final episodes of it’s final season. Guys, Supernatural is 15. FIFTEEN. It can practically drive a car now. As one friend put it, “that show had a Quinceañera.” And if you don’t know how significant that is, think of the last show you know of that made it to season 10. Take your time, I’ll wait. 

Whoever I stole this birthday invite from, they are probably older than this show.

I started watching Supernatural in 2008. I was 19, I had just begun my journey towards Over-Worked, Under-Slept Millennial, and my best friend recommended it. I can’t really remember how the conversation went, but I’m sure at some point it was “It’s scary, and it’s got these two brothers, I’ll send you a link!” cuz we were trash and we were broke and Netflix...existed? Hulu existed, but not in the way that either of those sites work now, so we watched by...ahem...other means. It is probably why my first laptop stopped working after 3 semesters of college.

And damn, I was hooked. I don’t do scary movies and honestly, I was legit creeped out by a lot of these episodes, but it had two hot dudes who took down a monster every week and then (the real kicker) had a bigger, season-long mystery they were trying to solve. And occasionally, they got punched in their big dumb beautiful faces. If I had known what a kink was at the time, I would have said that someone was reading my dream diary. 

Over the next 12 years - Let me say that again for those of you in the back - TWELVE YEARS - I had an on-again-off-again relationship with the Winchesters. It was pretty hot and heavy in the beginning. I was jumping on the back of this 67 Chevy Impala 3 years in, so I had three seasons that I bought on DVD that I binged and was caught up with season 4 by the time the midseason started to air in late January of 2009. I was introducing all my friends to Supernatural, I made several people watch the entire first disc of season 1 with me, irregardless of whether they’d asked or not. Things started to cool down towards the end of season 4 as life started picking up and I know...I caught...the tail end of season 5? I think? I distinctly remember the final scene of the final episode, but honestly, I can’t remember how much of that season I actually watched.

At that point, I considered Supernatural to be a weird pseudoaddiction. I’d be clean for a while, years even, and then Netflix caught up with consumers and I could binge whole seasons in a weekend. It’d be, oh, I could just watch an episode. Just one episode. Maybe two. And then the weekend is gone in a blaze of classic rock and rock salt and I’m left with something like but not necessarily a hangover where my feelings live. I think I did this for seasons 6 through, like, 8? Eventually, Netflix stopped putting it at the top of my dashboard and it was easier to avoid. And I said to myself, well, when they finally get to the last season, THEN I’ll go on one last run, one last big score, and watch the whole series again in one go. 

But the seasons kept coming?? And they?? Didn’t stop?? Guys, I don’t know how many of you care about this but, Friends, one of the most popular sitcoms of all time that defined an entire generation had ten seasons. TEN. Supernatural is ending with fifteen! For an industry where most shows don’t make it past a pilot, let alone a season 1, this is INSANE. 

But now it’s ending. Even though a pandemic halted production just two episodes away from the finale, Supernatural is finally outta cassette tapes. The Wayward Sons may finally (??) be laying their wearied heads to rest (?? lol, I know).  

And frankly, 2020’s been a real sh*tshow so I thought “Why not?” 

And if I’m doing this and I’m not interacting with anyone on a human level, I might as well chronicle this epic dive into a time capsule of television because frankly, what the hell else am I doing? 

Cuz that’s what this is guys. 15 years in TV time is multiple lifespans. Shows are born, grow into something Emmy-worthy, and die in less time than Supernatural has been on the air. You know what else aired their pilot episode in 2005? The American version of The Office. You know when The Office ended? 2013. 

So let’s talk about pilots because that in and of itself may be a thing of the past not too far from now. 

Guys, I love pilots. I will probably say this a lot over the next, uhhhh...many months, but I love pilots and I love season ones, especially for a sci-fi and fantasy shows because that’s where your characters are at their most vulnerable, their most unsure. The writers and producers are really digging around, trying to figure out what the groundwork for this world is and there’s something so exciting about exploring it with them, as an audience. 

Pilot’s are great, pilots on spec are even better, and that’s a lot of what the Supernatural Pilot feels like. It’s got a real indie/guerilla-style horror movie vibe, like the crew scraped together just enough cash for that one special effect scene but had to skimp out on a lot of the other production stuff, and still managed to turn something around that is totally, 100% watchable and somehow more charming than if they’d had the budget to make something really polished? Go watch Night of the Living Dead (1968) and tell me that movie would have been better if they’d had a bigger budget. You could, but I won’t agree. 

Ok so a quick break down of technical terms. A television pilot is basically the first episode of a TV show. Well, that’s not exactly true. A pilot is kind of like making a sample or a blueprint of your show that you hand over to the television networks and say, here! This is what my TV show will look like. Will you pay me money to continue making it? And the networks (think ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX and The CW - remember, this is Network, not cable) will spend January through April of every year reviewing pilots and deciding if they want to pay you money to make more episodes. Well, every year except 2020. See: sh*tshow. Sometimes the network comes to you with an idea, or maybe, you’ve pitched your script/show to some executives and they buy in for that first pilot episode to see where things will go. Neither of these scenarios are a sure thing, and pilot season is always rife with will-they-won’t-they tension. In fact, if you’re working on the show, there’s a real possibility that pilot will get re-shot after studio notes, you’ll lose your job to someone the studio liked better, and then the show still may not get picked up. A pilot shot on spec is in even more of a limbo scenario because nobody asked for this! And just to follow through on Pilot Season - after the networks decide to buy your pilot, they then air the pilot at Upfronts (usually in May) where their many ad companies decide if they will pay money to air their ads during those shows. This is where we get things like prime time and key demographics - if you thought TV was all about the art, you are very wrong. TV, like most other industries, is still a business that’s about making money. 

Back to the Supernatural pilot. Now, from my research, series creator Eric Kripke had been working on the concept for 10 years. He was big into classic rock, big into urban legends and big into cowboys and all those things get married ever so neatly in this show. A lot of his initial ideas remain unchanged, at least for the first season - he wants two brothers, traveling across the country, facing off with America’s Spookiest Myths and legends. A lot of it did change. I honestly feel like I remember reading an early draft of the pilot where Sam and Dean are cowboys? But I’m also pretty sure I’m imaging that. What I’m not imagining is this ridiculous early draft where John’s been locked in an insane asylum, dies before the first episode starts, and Sam’s been living with an aunt and uncle his whole life and knows nothing. They still use something close enough to the La Llorona legend as the catalyst for the episode, but a lot of other things are changed. This is not the Sam and Dean we come to know and love. This is also a good example of when you SHOULD listen to notes, because this draft was rewritten after executive producer McG and his Wonderland Sound and Vision production company signed on, but before they actually shot the script. 

Now from what I’ve read, the WB picked the show up for (4) episodes initially, and ultimately picked it up for a full season of (22) episodes. This was, at the time, a pretty standard season and a pretty standard way to get it. They had a better deal than The Office, anyway, which only got picked up for (6) episodes in their first season, then got picked up four episodes at a time for season 2. 

Now let’s go over that paragraph one more time and talk about what a hecking DINOSAUR this show is - 

FIRST off - Supernatural premiered on THE WB. It PREDATES The CW!!

Man guys, you remember they had a frog as a mascot? Oof, that would not work today.

Secondly, it got 22 EPISODES. We’ll get into this some more when we talk about that evil bugs filler ep, but think about how many episodes were in the last show that you binged on Netflix? 8? Maybe 10?

Welcome to the exciting world of GRAPHS brought to you buy https://www.theringer.com/tv/2017/8/4/16094348/inefficiency-week-mourning-the-lost-long-tv-season

OH! And SPEAKING of Netflix and streaming services like them, they’re kind of killing pilot season AND upfronts. They pick up shows when they want to. They “air” them when they feel like. There are no ads because you pay for that content on a monthly basis and also they don’t even have commercial breaks. I am slowly seeing the passage of time in one (1) episode of television and I think I’ve aged 100 years. 

Here is just one of MANY articles about the death of Pilot Season 

Finally, and most importantly, this show got a better deal than The Office. And that show was an NBC primetime show. 

This show was nominated for 193 awards and won 50. And it ended when my nephew was still in kindergarten. He’s gonna be in high school next year. 

So what about this Supernatural Pilot? Was it any good? Honestly, I’m gonna say yeah. This is some very solid Hero’s Journey here. I think the only weird thing about it is that Sam is our Hero, our point of contact character that gets us into this world. And I only say that because I’ll be real up front and say that I’m a Dean girl through and through. I don’t hate Sam, but because we live in a world where we have to choose, it’s Dean 4Eva. 

From that early script draft, we learn the plan was for Sam to be in the dark and essentially be our audience stand in so that Dean can explain all the backstory. I think the decision to make John Winchester raise his kids as a weird fringe paramilitary outfit and establish Sam as the brother that tried to get away is a good one. It’s a very “Arrive Late” (or if you’re fancy, in media res,) sort of attitude and it works and you’ve already started building in the Atonement with the Father. There’s still some pretty excellent exposition dialogue, but what are ya gonna do. Sam, did you really need to explain to Dean that your collective father “raised you like warriors”? Or that you “kill everything we CAN find?” It’s fine. You’re beautiful and I love you. But also, he knows all that.

You have the Call to Adventure - Dean showing up and saying “Dad hasn’t been home in a few days.” You have the refusal of the call (“He’ll sleep it off”). You have your supernatural aid (hah!) giving Sam a push out the door - that’s Dean. You have your famous line that I quoted along with the TV - Dad’s on a hunting trip. And he hasn’t been home in a few days. 

The dead mom backstory seems pretty on the nose, but the “burned on the ceiling” concept was new and unique enough that I was intrigued to find out more. Listen, I’ve already admitted I don’t watch a lot of horror so if this has been done before, don’t @ me. 

La Llorona or Woman in White or Weeping Woman was a new trope to me at the time, so it too seemed fresh. I see that myth show up in a lot more Supernatural-type shows now, but in 2008, at 19, I was like, oh this is different. Not to mention - this definitely leaned in to the horror aspect. I know I’m a baby, but it aired at 9pm, which is the more adult side of Prime Time, so the WB thought it was too spooky for kids who had early bedtimes. So there. 

I HATE when they do this cuz it freaks me out EVERY TIME and THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW THESE MIRRORS WORK??? SHE’S NOT EVEN IN THE BACK SEAT IN THIS SHOT!

And then at the END, when Sam STILL refuses the call to adventure, you have the real Crossing of the Threshold - Jess is ALSO stuck on the ceiling, dead, and on fire. Spoiler alert, but they had to fridge her early to make the rest of the season work and so it shouldn’t be a big surprise. Sam’s all in and we get 21 more episodes of him and Dean and that car. 

Is it technically fridging if she’s lit on fire?

And let’s talk about Jess for a second cuz actress Adrianne Palicki is giving a LOT more in this performance than a fridged girlfriend should be required to. She’s likeable, she’s down to earth, she’s crushing it and and all this with only, like, two scenes of dialogue. I say this even though we meet her in a slutty nurse costume - COME on WB. 

WB what the hell is this wardrobe. What the HELL is THIS. 

In fact, all of the extras in this show are crushing it? Louis is instantly likeable and he disappears after his first scene, never to grace our TV’s again. And these extras in the town in Jericho, California - I kind of love them. As CW (or I guess, WB) as Jessica is, these extras look like they found them at the local highschool and I LOVE THEM FOR IT. They probably came to set already in makeup and wardrobe! They POSSIBLY brought their own jewelry! They’re weirdos and they are GREAT. I’m pretty sure this will NEVER happen again on this show because once the $$ came in, so did the more polished-looking one-off characters.

 Lookit these magnificent goth weirdos! And great news, both these actresses have very full, non-goth careers after this. 

Also, heckin’ Joseph Welch is just crushing it. This man has NOTHING CW about him and that’s maybe why I like him so much? Everything about the scene with him and Sam is pretty heartbreaking, from his rundown car graveyard to his rundown physique with his rundown accent to the fact that we never actually see his face. Seriously, really LOOK at this scene - WHAT is going on with this cinematography? Is this a reference to something? It’s SO bleached out and SO stark and WHAT is going on???

WHAT is this lighting? And also this guy was played by Steve Railsback was on X-Files!

You can’t talk about Supernatural without talking about the chemistry between Sam and Dean and that’s probably the real hook here? I mean a) very beautiful. I will probably talk about this a lot. Let’s call it what it is here, they’re beefcakes and they’re made for me and people like me. It is weird that this show is so macho but their primary audience was mostly there for the babes. And by babes I mean Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. And b) they REALLY sell the whole brothers thing. They’re both from Austin, TX which feels like a weird coincidence. They were both already on WB shows before this one, also a weird coincidence. And they just click. They just do. It’s impressive, and occasionally creepy when we start to get into the Wincest of it all, but lets not talk about that.

Oh, and the MUSIC! The music just makes it. If you don’t believe me, watch the Netflix version of the first season and then find yourself a DVD version. See, TV shows need to acquire a license to play popular music during the show. Nowadays, the CW actually tags their songs in the episode so you can find and presumably buy it later, but they still have to pay royalties for using those pop songs. When Netflix acquired Supernatural, they did NOT acquire the licensing to use the classic rock songs from ACDC, Metallica, etc. and so you’re left with some pretty bland and generic production music that’s something like but not necessarily Back in Black. More like, Back in...Grey? This pun didn't work how I wanted it to. 

And the show just...doesn’t work? Like, who knew BACKINBLAAAAACK! Was so instrumental to whether I thought this was quality programming or not. Side note - it ruins my favorite piece of dialogue of maybe the entire series - 

Sam: I swear, man, you gotta update your cassette tape collection.

Dean: Why?

Sam: Well, for one, they're cassette tapes.

Do the young people even know what a cassette tape is? I AM the CRYPTKEEPER.

So yeah, you got a lot of ingredients to make something pretty great. Did we know then that it would launch a juggernaut of a television program that would still be on the air in the Year of Our Reckoning, 2020? I was a big fan of Firefly, so I was 99.99% sure this show was gonna get canceled at any second. In fact, I was thrilled, in 2008, to find there were two more seasons after the one I was currently watching. Of course, season 3 aired around the time of the great Writer’s Strike of ‘07, where nothing looked good and few programs survived, but we’ll get there. 

In a final, kind of spooky, almost premonition-type decision the WB actually decided to air this pilot episode a whole week early on Yahoo!. Yeah, you remember Yahoo!, right? The search engine that briefly tried to have its own original streaming content and then we all abandoned it in favor of the monster that is Google? Yeah. This episode premiered online. I haven’t done enough research, but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this was probably one of the first ever TV shows to start on the internet? Weird to think that was a novel and innovative concept at one time. 

So this is it. This is the end of the era. Are we gonna get any more shows that last as long as this one did? Who knows. Are we as a culture gonna care at that point? I don’t know. Our TV habits have changed so much in the last few years that it’s hard to say how we’ll watch TV in the future. But credit where it’s due, boys. Nice huntin’. 

[wellntruly]

The Exorcist (The Show) - Season Two, Eps 5 & 6

In any given thing you may watch, there are two types of faves you can have. There’s the fave you want to see nice things happen to so bad (Father Buzzcut), and the fave you want to see Suffer (Father Eyelashes).

This show....this show is doing such a Good Job delivering on these promises. These two episodes! My god! Wow! Wow..

Season 2, Ep 5: There But For the Grace of God, Go I

I like that Ben Daniels and Alfonso Herrera switch up who does the Previously On, feels right

I am exceedingly interested to see what happens when Andy’s delusion comes into conflict with demonstrable reality. will he react by lashing out? by it all crashing down? by opening a trapdoor in his mind and just dropping into full psychosis?

huh, it’s just kinda falling off of him. well good, I wouldn’t want him scaring Verity any more than he already has.

oh, Andy, don’t reach out and….naw you are, you’re gently touching this owl painting, like a weirdo

ohhh it IS breaking down, but thankfully he knows he shouldn’t be doing this, he knows she isn’t real! now? or did he always know, and just got too deep into the fantasy for a spell?

oh yeah, because Shelby’s gonna looove the idea of you all sleeping overnight in the HAUNTED WOODS

ohh yeah an Image. oh yeah an image! this image~~

Verity, calling back into the house without turning around: “Rose! The creepy annoying priest is back!” Verity what has Tomas ever done to you! I’m laughing though

something I like a lot is that this production made sure their hair & makeup team had the resources to keep up decently realistic healing wounds on our priest boys, who are constantly getting themselves banged up. Alfonso Herrera currently has a really tender-looking purple-red bruise in his hairline from Mrs. Graham two episodes ago

Rose’s motivations to kindly but firmly reject this are 100% understandable, and are just going to become an obstacle, because like Father Tomas Ortega is going to give up

oH! oh is Marcus going to this cove with Peter???!!!

also how big is this island anyway. it’s got a lake, it’s got mountains. is it supposed to be like an Orcas Island analogue? 

oh sure okay Marcus, you’re just here for more information. I mean you are, but you also immediately picked the research option that brought you to Peter again

historical oddities of the San Juans, WELL. my personal fave is the island some millionaire bought and stocked with exotic animals flown in from Africa so he could go game hunting, and then swiftly regretted it. some people swear they still see these strange hooved creatures among the trees sometimes, distant offspring of gazelles that mated with the local deer.

yeah Marcus hop on

eeeeewww cooooool, hallucinatory paper wasps in your shoulder!! again, the LOCAL DETAIL

the scene-setting shots in this episode are really leveled up. wonder if the DP is the same person who was having so much fun with that one episode in the first season

“What have you lost, Mr. Keane?”

fraaaaming, oh my heeaart

well, pops was definitely possessed

“This is stupid. Why are we doing this.” Verity has a point

why is Marcus calling Tomas with his research updates so charming to me. Tomas, walk-and-talking: “—and Glenn Powell lived on this island??”

it actually cannot really be overstated how much a priest would stand out in rural Washington state. I can count on not just one hand but one finger the number of priests I’ve seen out in the wild in the Pacific Northwest, and he was in a bakery here in Portland getting some bread, not walking down a road in the middle of the woods. I mean fully, if I had seen a priest alone out in the islands when I was growing up, I guarantee you my first momentary thought would be that I had died and just missed it. like that would be my first thought, the most likely option. so Father Tomas is EXTREMELY STRIKING to everyone on Nachburn, is what I’m trying to get across.

yup, just proved you’re not her, demon! well trapped, Father Bennett, that was like some King Solomon-style canniness.

wow so you can also kill them with holy water

Dr. Kim: “Stop it, I know what you are. You’re a s-stress related delusion, you’re a-a mental break, you leave me alone.”

aah Truck!

oh Tomas, don’t go it alone! Marcus would absolutely be here backing your ass up against this haunted house if you coulda just waited ’til morning

I just reread that sentence

anyway, Tomas, walk your ass back OUT of this house and call your boyfriend, so that he and his other boyfriend can come pick your ass UP, and then you don’t get eaten by demons tonight yeah?

um, that boat is going nowhere fast. oh now that boat is being turned off.

my heart is pounding in a manner it has not during this show yet. I want this for Marcus in a way that feels almost beyond myself, in a way that is like….cosmic. the Heavens.

[in anguish] oh, my god, now they’re just sharing their traumas!

ohhh my goodness oh all the pain and anger at it is gonna come out in a torrent for Marcus now isn’t it

oh no, oh stories of little abused, hurting Marcus, noo!

and Peter just sits there when it’s over, he breathes in and out half for him half for the man across for him, and he looks at him with acceptance and kindness. THIS LOVELY, LOVELY MAN. Marcus is just like aaaaahhh oh this is grace

meanwhile, Tomas is about to get his ass handed to him by a house. honey the fact that it’s inviting you deeper in is a sign to GET OUT. incidentally, could a house be possessed?

one thing that Season 1 had going for it was the lesbians, and wow guess what Verity is queer too!!! GOD I’D HOPED SO. really wish I’d found out in a context that wasn’t her recalling horrible Christian conversion therapy she was sent through :(

Shelby, sincere: “I’m sorry for what they did to you. But they were misguided.” Verity: “I’m so glad I tried to take my life three times because they were so misguided.” Shelby: “Hey, no, not misguided. Evil. But they didn’t work for God. They worked for the other guy.” honestly this is all good, I’m really impressed with this show

and now Shelby explaining how in his case faith is what he’s held on to that has kept him alive, and that he knows that God knows Verity is perfect, the way He made her. Verity, touched and angry about it: “God I hate camping.” Shelby laughs and agrees. I love themmm

anyway PLEASE tell me this means we’re setting up Verity having a moment with Father Marcus at some point this season, please please please, this is…Essential.

I definitely have the volume too loud for watching scary scenes if my Spanish Newborn ears just caught “nosotros” in Tomas’s muttered prayer, just gonna tuurrrnn that down. helps a lot to diminish the power of the jump scares, pro tip!

shit Verity do you have no fear

there is a whole ass tree inside the Witch House!

I’m very interested in how Grace is controlling Truck with her doll, and also whether Tomas will be able to see her or not

nope, he cannot

Tomas this owl painting is terrible but it’s a red herring!

I’m into seeing this partially from the Evil Presence’s perspective, that’s interesting, watching her watch Tomas, watching her control Truck, all while no one sees her

y’know this is a question….like how does his usual exorcising powers work when there’s not a person there to exorcise, just a loose spirit? IS it the house that’s possessed?? is that possible? they were asking how a demon could linger for so many decades….

oh kids, oh kids! :(

haha, I do kind of enjoy that this demon always looks like a petulant little kid, like UGH, stop asking me to ~Reveal Myself~, loser

oh no, oh noooo! now the demons can just *take* Tomas into dreamspace, he’s too pliable! HONEY, this is what Marcus was warning you about!

it’s very interesting that the story of the Witch in the Well is, I’m realizing just now, the story of Glenn Powell but twisted to be an evil woman killing her children instead of a man

ooohhhh, the drop of blood falling slowly from the little hand to the floor with a sound like a gunshot, hitting Tomas like a physical blow is VERY GOOD

oh no why is he bleeding from the mouth! still really good but I’m freaking out! where you shot? what does being injured in here mean for you! WHAT ARE THE FUCKING RULES or can I just make them all up...

oh now just quietly screaming into my own hands over the imagery tho!!!!

me misreading what I just typed turns out to be maybe an accurate description of me: imagery thot

sorry but I’m just gonna keep taking screenshots when we’re getting Dutch angle clapboards with a shaking priest in front

!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH WAIT, OH WAIT!! the woman who killed her kids is a separate story, this tragedy has just kept playing out over and over on this island and!!!! now it’s attacking Andy with his kids!!!!! WOW THAT’S REALLY GOOD, THAT’S REALLY GOOD, that’s a fucking bizarre way to legitimize foster families BUT I’M INTO IT. I am also exceeeeeeeedingly into Tomas dying in each of these the way the kids die and each time he holds out his hands---

aaAAAAAAAA

I’m leaving my notes the way they are so that you all can appreciate that I had apparently accepted that Ms. Powell had grown up in the 1800s or whenever this first family slaying was supposed to have taken place. I’m an idiot! those murders are happening now and it’s like the ‘50s or whatever, which you may notice does actually make sense for her age.

——oh no, it was the chain...

I gasped. that was brutal.

god and he died three times, threes, the SYMBOLISM we get in Tomas’s visions!

well please give me something peaceful on Peter’s Boat of Comfort, I and Marcus could use it

oh! oh did God come back to him! oh please this has to be what this is, Ben Daniels is a good actor I’m sure I’m understanding this correctly! and eeyyy I wasn’t that wrong was I, he just needed to open up to others and God is now returning like therrrre you go my son, good.

kiss? kiss? kiss now? #God Approved?

I just breathed out slowly for about seven seconds. Approved.

uh oh. I just realized they sent Verity with Andy. uh oh.

Andy, shouting, destroying “Grace”s room: “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. WHY. WHY ARE YOU HURTING MY FAMILY!” :(

someone gonna tell me what’s up with this rock people keep picking up or what

“WaaAhh!” I slowly say-scream aloud at Grace’s pillowcase face showing up through the hole Andy just tore in that bad owl painting

um. why is she as tall as him now.

oh is it gonna be Nicole, that would suck

I mean I don’t always relish being a Cassandra. this sucks for Andy real bad!

well the good news I guess is that Tomas managed to get out of this house before the Kims showed back up to be like wtf are you doing here, and can now just look up at the glowing window from the dark yard and feel Concern

anyway can’t wait to watch Tomas try to explain what happened to him tonight in a way where he won’t freak Marcus entirely out

Season 2, Ep 6: Darling Nikki

Demon Nicole is creepy. I feel like I would cast this actress to play a beautiful mythical creature who lures you in and then with a shriek, eats your head

yeah see THAT’S a ferry

I am totally mystified as to where Marcus and Tomas are right now. they’re in Seattle? have they been staying in Seattle each night? how were you getting there, the ferries don’t run that late! also I guess this island is supposed to be like Vashon or something, further south. but yeah why is Marcus waiting to pick Tomas up, are you not staying in the same hotel….and why does what Tomas came out of look like a prison. I am so confused.

are you weighing whether or not tell him you got murdered in your mind over and over

ohhh, now he’s seeing the dead kids with his waking eyes...

yes, yes, this is what I wanted, Marcus grabbing Tomas’s head and earnestly trying to get him to focus on him, stay with me Tomas, stay here

this show just delivers on so many promises it has made to me personally

oh huh, maybe kind of an American Gods thing, like the kids are almost sacrifices required by the demons

oh poor Truck

Andy definitely thinks it would be best to get the kids into different homes so that he and his demon don’t hurt them, I’m sure that’s his motivation here

yeah, yeah Rose, get suspicious Rose, Rose I’m counting on your sage eye to figure this thing out! remember what Father Tomas asked you, remember what Truck said about someone in his head, and look at Andy looking at someone who isn’t there, and put it together, Rose

I like that Rose dragged the priests off to the Witch House for their private chat, a casual conference spot

Marcus: “You know who we are, you know what we do. We believe there’s something dangerous at work here.” Rose: “Yeah your partner has implied as much, although he used much less ominous terms.”

lol

they really are set up well with Rose though, because she knows that they didn’t fall for the trick with Harper, so they’re her Skeptical Priests

c’mon Rose, it’s a Pascal’s wager. if demons ARE real, you want the Catholic priests here

haha, Rose just walking in smiling winningly like I’ve brought some priests for dinner! the priests: hel-lo! oh he’s holding a knife

oh Andy’s really slipping

has Maria moved, or did they just get a different set for this season

oh shit I thought it was her dying husband in the bed, but it’s her!

Shelby: “Oh what about grace?” Andy: what the fuck Andy: ohhhh not Grace

Tomas are you surprised the table’s gonna pick you for this

yeah Andy’s being weeeeird, and Verity’s not appreciating him doing her usual snarking during the grace!

looollll, sweet little Harper! “Oh they’re exorcists! :)” and the whole table minus Rose like well that is new information about several things

actually kinda amazing that no one had told Andy the circumstances around why Harper needed a place to stay honestly, I kinda suspect that’s not the usual protocol in these things

anyway, Tomas: “Yes. We’re exorcists.” Marcus: [tips his head] me: [laughs warmly]

they’re doing a good job showing through the kids’ performances that Andy isn’t behaving normally

eewww, demon no don’t just bring up what Verity was put through to the whole table? fuck you

Verity, beautiful and strong: “Don’t drag me into this.” Demon Andy, proceeding to keep doing that: “Do you think my daughter has a demon in her, Father Tomas?”

I have paused because I genuinely cannot tell what I most want to have happen next

what happened is that Tomas simply said that those people were wrong, and told Verity sincerely that he was sorry. with that, Marcus, bless him, firmly suggested they leave Verity out of this---he’s protecting her, aww god

ohhh, Maria has cancer too

Marcus’s sweet nicknames for Harper, “m’duck” and “sunshine”

whatever dumb network note gave us the hotheaded cocky Tomas of the first two episodes of this season is so completely gone by now. Demandy just combatively told him he was wrong twice in a row and he was just like *oh, acknowledged, agreed* and sipped his tea quietly

ahh, I’d forgotten the way Marcus needles the demons out of people. Tomas knew to expect this, but Rose did not.

haha yeah this is chill, this is a chill tableau to see across from you

Andy: “Anyone else for a refill?” Andy: [walks away from the teapot sitting right there on the coffee table]

ooooooo blood pouring out of the kettle into his cuupppp

the transition from Tomas having visions that Marcus hates because he doesn’t trust it and he’s jealous, to Marcus being super attuned to his spiritually-sensitive partner’s strange fearful pauses and always like “[carefully, protectively] are you all right?”, is the best kind of transition

“In the house of the shoemaker there are no shoes.” wow what does that mean

wait, does Marcus have the rock, when did you get the rock! what the fuck is up with this rock!

tense, tense!

Marcus: “We can’t leave.” Tomas: “Of course not, but we have to go.” distinctions

Marcus: “You saw something back there, when you froze up.” Tomas: “Another echo. [getting so sad] You were right. I should have listened to you. These visions, they are not a gift. They are a curse.” Marcus, reassuring: “Your ‘curse’ led us to this family. [and to me] If it weren’t for you everyone in that house would be dead.”

“You have no idea what it’s like.”

“Then tell me. I’m here for you, Tomas.”

my hand is just pressed over my mouth, over half my face! this storyline could not have gone a more profound 180 degrees from how it began six episodes, I am….. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ARE YOU KIDDING ME. THIS IS THE DREAM OF THE STRANGE TELEPATHIC PRIESTS SHOW.

anyway now Marcus asks if he’ll pray with him and Tomas just trembles a nod up at him with puppy dog eyes, and they stand here leaning together as a storm rises over the horizon, just OH GOD

Demaria: “You’ve come all this way for naught.” Mouse: “I wouldn’t say that.”

[unveils this INCREDIBLE SNAP of The Old Grey Lion and his Little Cub looking extremely dishy by their pickup truck]

nooo stop saying you’re going to take Father Tomas! Marcus’s prophetic line from the pilot, I can’t!!!

wait WHY is it talking in Marcus’s voice, I hate THAT

whaaaaat?

so my best guess is that Mouse was a nun, and then got herself a demon, and then Marcus exorcised her, and she decided to become an exorcist herself? how am I doing

I understand the urge to put thunderstorms in the Northwest but honestly, there’s not much lightning here—not enough temperature variance to create those charged fronts. we just get rain and wind.

interesting. how does the demon who looks like your wife feel about you making out with Rose.

I screeched! jump scare! noo Harper!

oh so the answer is Denikki’s gonna get weird about it and propose some unsettling spectral threesome

...I assumed Harper was having a nightmare or being tormented by the house, but actually, is this really Mrs. Graham?? oh my god, Harper had told Marcus she thought she heard someone calling her name in the woods....

oh fuck she IS really there! WOW THANK GOD YOU OPENED THE DOOR TO FIND YOUR PRIESTS STRIDING UP OUT OF THE RAIN

Harper: “Marcus! Marcus, growling: “Get your damn hands off her!”

oh Denikki’s going all out now, no longer playing the keep-it-quiet game!

y’know I wrote that before she lifted everyone in the house a yard up into the air and then dropped them back down

SCREEEAAAAMM!!!!! wow, okay, well to catch up:

1) well nobody is gonna be in ANY doubt that Andy’s possessed now, so at least we have that win

(and I’m already really into John Cho’s ~possession acting~, black-eyed and very still, spooky)

2) kinda karmic that Mrs. Graham was killed by a real demon? gruuuuuesomely

but mostly, after Demandy gutted a woman in the hallway, placed a bloody handprint on the wall with the others (eee!), and uttered some unearthly shrieking bellow while doing a full Gollum back arch, I imagine no one in that house could have asked for anything more reassuring, in the face of all this horror, than these two:

just rising up with the music as the wind whips through the hall, raising crosses, and stepping forward shouting verses. YA GOT DEMONS, BUT YOUR BOYS ARE HERE

To be continued

***

Previously Season One Part 1, Part 2 Season Two Eps 1 & 2, 3 & 4

[i-am-fran]

My thoughts after ep 9.09

My thoughts on season 9 of #Suits ahead of the series finale:

So today I saw 9.09 and I think now is the right time to write a little piece about my thoughts and wishes and expectations. Why now? During the past 2 or 3 episode I have realized that I have very mixed feelings about this season. Before I start I’d like to remind you that this is how I feel about this seasons. There may be things you you agree with, other’S you don’t. I’d like to hear about them, but please be polite - it’s just an opinion. Also: While many things might sound negative, I still took the time to think and write about them. That’ how invested I am in this show. I wouldn’t bother doing that for a show I don’t enjoy watching. The thing is: The more I like a character, the harder I judge how they are developed. No hard feelings.

First, I have to admit that I had very high expectations after 8.16. I did not particularly like season 8, not because Mike and Rachel left and not because of the introduction of Alex and Samantha (who I think were both very refreshing additions to the cast), but because I felt that Harvey and Donna in particular seemed to be stuck in some kind of limbo in regards to character development for the first 14 episodes. The Kessler romance that somewhat triggered the “Darvey” romance felt rushed in the end of season 8, even though I had wanted for this to happen for so long.

9.01 started so promising and I really enjoyed the introduction of Faye. I loved the fun moments with Louis being Louis, just the way they happened in the early seasons. All in all, Louis is the one character I am most pleased with in regards to character and storyline. Everything seems seamlessly consistent with him.

Harvey I also really can’t complain about. His character development has stretched over the entirety of nine seasons and it is natural that now things are slowly winding down.

The character development I am most unhappy about is Donna. It seems to me that all season her sole purpose was to serve Harvey coffee. There were some sweet moments with Louis and some confrontations with Faye and the other partners, but let’s face it: The only storyline that she really had next to being Harvey’s sidekick was her Dad and Faye being unhappy about her relationship with Harvey, which was one of the subplots of “Cairo”. It reminded me a little of the early seasons when Donna barely had any other purpose than being Harvey’s know-it-all secretary, but not in a good way. It felt like Alex, Katrina and even Esther had more significant plots this season, though they were similar in their length regarding screen time.

However this isn’t the first time I am unhappy with Donna’s character development. Despite Donna being my favorite Suits character -hands down-  I’m still super irked about her unrealistic leap from secretary to COO. As a woman in a business where most my co-workers are men I hate to see when TV gets women’s hopes up in how this could happen. To me, it feels like Donna slept her way to her position without actually sleeping with her boss. The circumstances are -in my eyes- the same, which is why I hate it. This isn’t gender equality, because no secretary, be it male or female does get promoted to COO without taking a few more steps in between. This only happens in fairytales.  Donna has no qualification to be COO at all and I would have felt much differently about the situation if the plot would have been Donna taking her seed money to go to business school. Or some twist in the story with Donna revealing her MBA certificate saying “Actually, those Pilates classes I allegedly take every Friday afternoon were college courses. Here’s my degree. Promote me.” And the worst of it all: Donna changed. The way she spoke to people changed, the way she dressed changed and in the end she was a Jessica/Donna hybrid I could hardy recognize as the quirky secretary she used to be. For me part of her charm was the amount of power she had by just “working from Harvey’s desk”. But I’m rambling- this ship sailed long ago.

Back to season 9. I had hope, now that she was in a relationship with Harvey, we would get a more domestic side of her, get a glimpse of her private life. What’s with that reveal of an older sister that was neither here or there or in any way relevant to the plot? I don���t know about you, but Donna always gave me this ‘only-child’ vibe. Which is probably why her sister was explained away as “much older”. However, why did they cast a woman who is only 11 years older than Sarah Rafferty as her mom? While I think season 9 Donna is probably several years younger than Sarah because the seasons only appear to be spanning around 6 months or so (considering how long Sheila was pregnant, the time it took Rachel to get her postgraduate degree and so on) and one could argue that Donna’s mom is therefore some years older than the actress who portrays her it would still be the case that Donna’s mom had her in her early twenties at the latest. When would she have had a much older sister? At 16? Unnecessary plot hole/irregularity. Kudos however for explaining away how Donna’s parents seemed to be married when Harvey let them stay at his condo once, then were seemingly separated during the “god-awful dinner party” (some people argue it must have been Donna’s “loser” boyfriend, but why would have Harvey been there in that case?). Clarification finally came: They were separated but got back together. Brownie points for plot consistency.

Some casual outfits made an appearance, which was an important first step, but they still felt a little forced. I mean, what’s the thing in American TV shows to have the woman wearing PJs with perfectly coiffed hair, fake lashes and full make-up? In the season 2 scenes where Harvey and Mike visited Donna after she was fired she was not only dressed casually, her face and hair were noticeably dressed down as well. I would have liked that a lot to make it more realistic. And the jammies disappeared after episode 1. There are several morning scenes with Harvey and Donna were both are already fully dressed for work (apart from Donna being barefoot at some times (jeez, if I wore those heels I’d be barefoot the second I’d enter the apartment). I think it made those scenes more sterile and less domestic despite the sweet dialogues. I think I would have liked it better, if there was a little more slouching, touching, maybe a TV running, or one of them sitting on the crumpled bed. Less superhero, more normal, that’s what I would have liked. And what’s with the no-touching anyways? I would have understood if it was only the office scenes, because I do believe neither of the character’s to be big on PDA, especially at work. But at home? Politely sitting next to each other, no leaning in, no touching, no hugging. Just talking. Like old times. I would have liked to see more of them being a couple. Sure, there were some pretty intense romantic scenes like in Mike’s apartment and with Lily and the painting, but the small moments that surrounded those big Darvey scenes were pretty underwhelming. Well, at least Harvey’s bathrobe made an appearance in 9.09 so there is still hopes for some normalcy in 9.10. It’s not an issue of screen time. Even as a Darvey shipper I was aware s9 would not turn into the “Darvey show”, it’s the content of some of the small scenes that disappointed me. Okay, no more Donna or Darvey bashing. Did I mention I’m actually a Darvey shipper?

One more thing: Why is everyone in this show dying of heart attacks. I understand why Lily had to die in terms of the storyline. But a heart attack? What are the odds of both slim and fit parents dying untimely of a heart attack? Could the writers not think of other sudden causes of deaths? She could have an aneurysm, get hit by a car, been diagnosed with a fatal cancer without Harvey knowing and so on and so on. Also: In the very same episode Sutter also died: Cause: Heart attack! If that’s where the writer’s creativity is heading it’s probably best we are nearing the end. If this unfortunate accumulation of heart attack was created on purpose, I do not get the reason why. 

Another hope I had for s9: A Jessica cameo. My hope was for a small storyline that would be addressed in both Pearson and Suits in order to gain more attraction for the new show. Plus I love Jessica. With so many loose ends to tie up in 9.10 I doubt there will be time for a proper Jessica Pearson appearance other than being a guest to Louis wedding, if she appears at all. Can we please talk about the wedding? Why does Louis get a baby AND a wedding in one season? He was engaged twice before. Even Mike and Rachel technically had two wedding scenes (one in s5 and one in 7). At least it looks like we still get a Darvey proposal. While I agree with Sarah Rafferty that a big white wedding shouldn’t be the conclusion of her character, I had –albeit a small- hope that there would be unconventional quick nuptials somewhere around episode 6 or 7 instead of that almost proposal. Taking Harvey’s character development into context I would find that Harvey creating a family on his own more important than a Darvey wedding. We already know those two are endgame. And while I think another pregnancy would be cheesy and far too rushed in this short span of episodes I still hold out a little hope that there will be a moment shared between Harvey and Donna that alludes to the idea that they’ll go into the baby-making business soon. Maybe when Sheila goes into labour? Not sure that will als still happen in 9.10.

In order not to have to finish this little article on a  negative note: There are things I really really liked. Samantha’s storylines, Mike’s cameo in 9.09 (though he was such a douche in 9.05), the phone calls with Lily, the mock trial and Sheila’s change of heart about her career. Been glad we did not spend more than one ep on the Katrina/Brian romance. Thank you.