#the vans are back and its like we achieved nothing

[yesloulou]

So I've translated the entire interview. There are some literal translations because the man uses figures of speech and I have no idea what they mean or how could they be translated.

FYI: There might be some mistakes because I did it quickly but I don't see where did Jos talked about Charles

_______________________________

Interview: Frits van Amersfoort

CLF: When and how did you decide to start your own racing team?

Frits van Amersfoort: "It was a long time ago you know... (Smile). I was still a little boy. I was born into a family that had a garage, so I lived in the middle of cars. My older brother loved car racing and one day he took me with him to the Zandvoort circuit. It was the first time I went there. It was in 1966 and I was able to see the cars of John Surtees, Jack Brabham and other great drivers of that era. A few years later I met a man from my village who wanted to race and was looking for a place to put his cars. I told him that he could put them in mine and that's how it started."

CLF: This year your team finished third in the F3 championship while it finished fourth in 2014. Did you achieve your objective?

FVA: "Before this weekend, our goal was to finish second with Charles. We were third, 6 points behind Giovinazzi and 33 points ahead of Jake Dennis. For me the drivers' championship is more important than the manufacturers' championship. team and I are therefore disappointed to have lost second and then third place with Charles. The only thing we won was the rookie championship. You know, in F1 Mercedes won the constructor's title but what everyone remembers it’s the driver’s championship.”

CLF: When did you discover him (Charles) and why did you hire him ?

FVA: "You know, we closely follow several championships including the Formula Renault 2.0 ALPS in which he participated last year. He was very good even though he was only in his first season. I have invited him to come and do some tests with us and we fell in love with each other (laughs). That's when we started talking with Nicolas Todt."

CLF: What are its strengths and weaknesses?

FVA: "It's a very good question, especially when we see this weekend's performances! At the start of the season we often compared Charles to Max, but it seems difficult to me because they have different characteristics. Completely different backgrounds and personalities. That said, they are both extremely talented and I think Charles, as much as Max, would deserve a seat in F1. Coming back to your question, I think Charles is very good in the feeling of his car. He knows where he gains time and where he loses it. It seems simple like that, but in reality it is very complicated, especially when we are talking about tenths of a second. He is also very good at braking and in fast parts but it is less so on starts."

CLF: Do they have any similarities in their work or their driving?

FVA: "Not really. For us, working one-on-one with Charles is fantastic. When Max Verstappen was with us, we also had to work with his father, and it was very difficult because Jos puts a lot of pressure into us. To summarize we can also say that Max is an extremely talented driver but we must not forget that he was very well prepared by his father, from a very young age. This is the difference with Charles who is very good but whose preparation is perhaps not at the level of Max's."

CLF: Charles went through a long period without great results between Zandvoort and the Nürburgring. Do you have an explanation?

FVA: "I wish I had an explanation because if I had, we would have solved this problem. We have to admit that we don't know exactly why we became slower. The start of the season was magnificent. We even led the championship and at Zandvoort everything went wrong. Charles had a very bad accident and it was the worst thing of the season for us.

After that, almost nothing worked. We've turned the car around but still don't know why it's so slow today. On the one hand, the other teams have made big progress on their cars and on the other Charles has perhaps lost some of his confidence in the car. To be fast, you have to have total confidence in your car and when you lose it it's difficult to find again.

Additionally, as Charles is the fastest driver on the team, he has no help from his teammates. I think it's several small things that caused us to lose a few tenths and with such a tough field... That's why we only finish fifth, sixth or seventh at the moment. This weekend is truly the worst of all. Take the example of qualifying which only lasts 20 minutes: it takes us around 10 minutes to really warm the tires well because it's very cold here, and that's half the session.

On top of that you have to make your way through the traffic to be able to try to do a good lap. The problem Charles had this weekend was that he made a big mistake on his fast lap, which resulted in him being placed in the middle of the grid.

This championship is so competitive that every mistake is almost fatal. We must not forget that even if he only finished fourth, he was the best rookie of the season. Believe me. With so many years of experience in Formula 3, the fact of not being a rookie, knowing the tracks and the car perfectly plays a huge role at the end of the championship. In life, not all first times are easy and second times are easier."

CLF: We don't know if Charles will do another year of F3, but would it be possible to see him again in your team with Mick Schumacher for example?

FVA: "Having Charles with us for another year is what we want. I don't know a better driver than him for our team but we have to be realistic. His manager is not happy with the poor performance in second part of the season and I think they will look for another alternative. We will ask his management and we will see what happens. For Mick Schumacher, I think the chances are very slim since he should re-do a year in German F4."

CLF: The last race of the year will be Macau. What will your goals be there?

FVA: "The victory obviously since last year we had the fastest car with Max Verstappen. The tires are not the same but let me explain to you: Macau is unique. The times and the weekend format are completely different, there is a qualifying race a bit like in karting and the car must see the finish each time because an accident means a lot of lost track time.

It's a very complicated track and it's not easy to bring the car back in one piece. It is 7km long including 2.5km of straight line. Imagine being at 250 km/h for 2.5 km but between rails. It's 40km/h faster than here and we drive without support. Next to Macau, the Monaco circuit is a motorway! Look at Max last year. He had an accident in the qualifying heat when he was second. On Sunday he therefore had to start from the back of the grid before returning to seventh place. I always told my drivers to drive like a rally driver. Because a rally driver has to drive at 90% because he has to watch out for walls or trees and it's the same in Macau.

If you ride 100% in Macau, you are sure to end up in the wall at one point or another. I think Charles knows that the race will only take place on Sunday and not on Thursday or Friday. I think he can have a good podium and it would be the best result for our team.”

CLF: Why not create a Formula Renault 2.0 team or 3.5?

FVA: "Because we only do Formula 3 and Formula 4. We had thought about doing Formula 2, but the FIA policy cooled us down. Our F4 team has had several victories, many podiums and we are very proud of that. Our Formula 3 team needs to improve next year. I think every team needs to have a really strong foundation before launching into something new."

CLF: Last question, I know you understand a little French. Do you know our site and if so, what do you think about it?

FVA: "I know it but I've never been there, excuse me, because I just don't have the time. But I think Charles is very happy with what you're doing for him and he deserves it too. It’s a very good thing!”

OH MY GOD YOU'RE A GEM

[elceeu2morrow]

OCTOBER 25, 2022 BY TIM INGHAM

Did you happen to find yourself in a provincial German discotheque in the early 2000s, somewhere betwixt Berlin and Dresden, watching Rednex – and we say this with a modicum of charity – ‘perform’ Cotton Eye Joe to a wide-eyed dancefloor?

While you were there, did you notice a 19-year-old woman, stood to the side of the throng, with a handbag suspiciously stuffed with tens of thousands of Euros?

If so, we do hope you were polite to her. Because she went on to become one of the most influential international executives in the global music industry.

Today, Dominique Casimir is Chief Content Officer at BMG, and sits on the board of the Bertelsmann-owned music company. Most importantly, she oversees BMG’s ‘repertoire’ (that’s publishing and records) operation in 17 separate territories, including Central Europe, Latam, and the UK. Or to put it in a more succinct way: Casimir runs BMG’s entire music operation everywhere outside North America.

Twenty years ago, such professional heights must have seemed a long way off for Casimir, who had moved to Berlin as a teenager with the initial intention of becoming a doctor. Within a few months, she’d pressed pause on these medical ambitions, and found herself studying an aimless mix of subjects at university, while waitressing in her spare time to pay the rent. One day, a realization hit her: “This leads to nothing.”

Following her innate passion for music, she signed up as an intern for a German talent agency that specialized in booking shows for Swedish pop acts. It was an eye-opening introduction to the music business.

She spent most of her time in a van, “picking up acts like Rednex and [nu-disco trio] Alcazar, and taking them to shady discotheques for playback performances – multiple venues in one night. When we got to each show, I’d been told to [accost] the venue owner: ‘No one goes on stage until the money is in my handbag!’”

This precarious lifestyle was a thrill for Casimir until one December night, still in her teens, she found herself arranging an emergency helicopter to the local hospital. The lead singer of Rednex had succumbed to a life-threatening fever… in a minibus driven by Casimir… which was stuck on the Autobahn… because of an avalanche. Casimir was out of money, out of phone battery – and very nearly out of a lead singer of Rednex.

Somehow, Casimir made it back to her parents’ house in Hamburg that Christmas. And far from being scared off the music industry, she decided to double down. 

Returning to Berlin that New Year, Casimir launched her own successful independent booking and management company – keeping her contacts from Swedish pop-land, while also branching out into management of young German rock bands. She made enough waves over the next half-decade to impress Fremantle, a Bertlesmann-owned TV content company, who hired her to handle sync licensing and music publishing agreements in 2007. 

A year later, her work caught the eye of Hartwig Masuch, who had just become CEO of the ‘new’ BMG, a startup music company backed by Bertelsmann capital. (The ‘old’ BMG was no more, after Universal Music Group acquired its publishing assets in a USD $2.19 billion deal in 2007.)

Today, outside of the major music companies, BMG is arguably the largest music publishing and recorded music entity globally. 

In the first half of 2022, BMG turned over EUR €371 million, up 25% year-on-year, with 40% of that revenue figure coming from recorded music and the remaining 60% from publishing. Its repertoire across publishing and records includes all-time classics from Pink Floyd, the Rolling Stones and Tina Turner, through to modern releases by the likes of George Ezra, Kylie Minogue, Jason Aldean, Slowthai, Lewis Capaldi, Mabel and Louis Tomlinson.

Remarkably, Hartwig Masuch says that BMG had achieved its 25% YoY revenue uplift in H1 2022 “with virtually no hits” – his point being that BMG’s primary focus is not on achieving global chart-toppers, but instead on amplifying the prospects of all its repertoire, regardless of audience size. 

As head of BMG’s repertoire outside the US, Dominique Casimir oversees music that is responsible for around 50% of her employer’s worldwide turnover. 

Many of her most notable moves to date have come in her home nation of Germany. In August, for example, BMG swooped for Telamo, Germany’s largest independent record label and a specialist in Schlager music (often described as Germany’s equivalent of country music in the US). As a result of that deal, BMG now stands as one of the largest label groups in the German market.

Casimir has also personally been at the forefront of BMG’s investment in three significant areas of live music. During the pandemic, she led the majority-acquisition of German live music promoter Undercover. She also led BMG’s backing of the stage musical Ku’Damm 56, which has sold over 200,000 tickets to date, and was recently extended to the end of February 2023.

Most recently, Casimir took the wraps off BMG’s latest foray into live entertainment: The firm has booked out Berlin’s most renowned theater, the 1,600-seat Theater des Westens (TdW), every night until the end of 2024. 

BMG, in conjunction with Bertelsmann, will pack that theatre with live content each week, with a view to emulating the Vegas/Broadway-style ‘residency’ successes of artists in the US such as Bruce Springsteen, Adele, and Celine Dion.

Here, Casimir explains what her early experiences in music taught her about treating artists and why she believes BMG has cracked the right way to do deal-making with artists – as she reveals an interesting theory for why the music industry continues to obsess over weekly charts…

YOU STARTED LIFE IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY AS A TEENAGER, SITTING IN SPLITTER VANS WITH SWEDISH POP ACTS AND GERMAN ROCK BANDS. IS THERE ANYTHING YOU LEARNED DURING THAT TIME THAT STILL RESONATES WITH YOUR PROFESSIONAL LIFE TODAY?

Definitely. As a manager [in the early noughties] I saw a totally unbalanced, unfair and super-weird situation: The artist would be putting their entire life into this, and you had the industry – whether that was live or record companies – making all the money and calling all the shots. 

That triggered something in me from minute one. There was this tone from the music industry during that era: We have the power; you, artist, are small. Now shut up while we overrule you, because we know better.

I met lots of anxious artists who were so busy trying to make their A&R at the record company happy. They were delighted when one of these ‘super repertoire’ people from the label visited the show. To the artists, it felt like these label people really could open the gate of magic at a major music company. But that was actually when the trouble would really start!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TROUBLE?

I believe that the most important thing you can have when you’re starting a [commercial] discussion with an artist is clarity. Clarity on what it is we can achieve together, but also clarity on agreeing on a realistic picture – sometimes, a reality check! – on what the best case scenario looks like at the end of a project.

That means not promising the sky and everything in it just to get an artist to sign to you. Because what happens in that scenario is you enter into an ‘us and them’ relationship. Record companies might think [when the artist signs with them] that they have ‘won’ a deal, but if you haven’t invited clarity and honest discussion into the room, you will be left with a huge amount of pressure. And, soon, you will be left with the blame game.

The moment you create a relationship with an artist where there is ‘you’ and not ‘us’, it just won’t work.

Artists are not always super-predictable – that’s part of the reason we all love them so much. But when they know who they are, you can all agree together what the goals are and what the goals aren’t. When they’re willing to get into the ‘boat’ with their [record company partner], when you’re in it together, there is no blame game. You have a recipe for success.

ISN’T THE ‘PROMISING THE MOON’ ELEMENT OF RECORD COMPANY DEALS WITH ARTISTS VERY OFTEN BECAUSE THE ARTIST INVOLVED HAS A LIKELIHOOD OF RELEASING A CHART HIT – OR ALREADY HAS ONE ON THE WAY?

Yes. I know you noticed Hartwig’s comment about BMG not requiring a hit to grow 25% in the first half of this year. That is the new music industry. 

Of course it’s nice for every artist to have a hit, and we’ve had our fair share. But hits come and go, and for some of them [the record labels] massively overpays. Some artists have just one hit in their career, and it’s not even a super-hit. 

You can’t live off that forever, but it might cost you everything because of the way your deal is structured; if that deal, for example, is completely predicated on you having a second hit, with massive expenditure [baked in] at radio. If you don’t get that second hit, you’re toast. 

Think of it from the artist’s perspective: The industry often doesn’t talk nice about artists who don’t get that follow-up hit, especially if a lot of money has been spent trying to get it, and artists know that. A huge part of this industry still spends all its time and attention – and a lot of its money – playing that hits game, and it leads to bad incentives. 

Traditional record label A&R is like cooking spaghetti: throw 10 pieces at the wall and hope one sticks. Those pieces of spaghetti are artists! It needs to change. There are so many ways of making a living for an artist today. Even though it remains really hard to do so, focusing on just the hits and the recorded music charts – in an age when 600,000 new songs a week are going on to streaming services – isn’t a sensible strategy.

WHAT IS A SENSIBLE STRATEGY?

Our perspective is to look at artists and ask: Is there an interesting brand here, an interesting story we can use our expertise to grow around the world?

As an artist, you need as diversified an income as possible – Covid proved to all of us that just relying on live income can quickly be disrupted. It’s not about just living off your vinyl sales or D2C, or Spotify, or ticketing; you need to understand which income streams work best for you, and turn up the volume on all of them.

We don’t just promote records anymore – we promote artist brands.

WHY DO YOU THINK SO MUCH OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY CONTINUES TO FOCUS ON CHARTS AND HITS? SURELY THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE UNDER YOUR ARGUMENT; THERE MUST BE A SOUND ECONOMIC REASON FOR IT?

One of the reasons I’m so thankful I started out in live is that I got to witness that ‘live moment’ – when eveything you’ve worked on together as a team is realised. You hear the audience; it’s such a direct and satisfying reaction.

That’s something you don’t get when you work in a record company. That’s one reason I think the charts remain so important to friends and colleagues in the record industry – charts are a mirror that tell a team: ‘You’ve done something successful.’

But the truth is the charts only reflect a small proportion of the music industry, and even if you do have chart success, it should only be one part of a much bigger story.

That was made clear to me from the first minute of being interviewed to join BMG. Hartwig was very strong and opinionated: we need to apply expertise and systems to what music IP is, and what an artist identity is. That’s the goal. And we need to do it while being honorable, transparent and offering the best level of service – not overruling or overpowering because ‘we know best’.

WHAT WERE YOUR FIRST IMPRESSIONS WHEN YOU MET HARTWIG?

He was busy choosing the new BMG logo at the time! I remember him turning around and saying, ‘Why do you want to join this new music company.’ And I said: ‘Actually, I’m not really sure why the world needs another major music company.’ That got him going!

He looked and me and said: ‘I will tell you why…’ And that was followed by Hartwig in full inspiration mode: What he wanted, why he thought artists and songwriters deserve it, and the type of people he wanted around him to make it happen. 

SINCE MAY, YOU’VE BEEN CHIEF CONTENT OFFICER OF BMG, OVERSEEING ALL REPERTOIRE OPERATIONS OUTSIDE NORTH AMERICA. WHICH MARKETS AROUND THE WORLD ARE YOU MOST EXCITED BY FROM A BUSINESS PERSPECTIVE?

Mexico, and Latam more generally, stand out. We announced we would launch BMG Mexico earlier this year, we’re in the process of getting it up-and-running and it is already so much fun. There’s tremendous growth, of course, in LatAm [territories] with many of them growing by more than 30% per year for three years in a row at this point.

Streaming and digitalization of the LatAm markets is generally very advanced. But on the other hand, other parts of the industry – the live business, brands, merch, the sync business – all have room to become much more relevant, and I think we as BMG will really make a difference to that.

YOU MENTION LIVE: BMG HAS MADE SIGNIFICANT STRIDES INTO LIVE IN ITS HOME MARKET IN THESE PAST FEW YEARS, ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR MAJORITY ACQUISITION OF UNDERCOVER, AND MORE RECENTLY WITH YOUR TWO-YEAR RESIDENCY OF THE BERLIN THEATRE WHERE YOU’VE SEEN SUCCESS WITH THE KU’DAMM 56 MUSICAL.

Germany is a good country for us to test things. It’s the fourth biggest music market in the world, and in some years it’s the third [overtaking the UK]. 

What we’re trying here with Bertelsmann, is to ask: Can we extend what we do in rights management in music to the live business? Because from a marketing and promotion and storytelling perspective that idea makes a lot of sense. We’re very good at that in [music rights]. And then another thing we’re very good at is financial transparency, and I think there’s a need for that in the live world. And we found a company [in Undercover] just like us. The first meeting I had with [Undercover founder Michael Schacke], he said: ‘We are about fairness and 100% transparency. Our artists can come and audit us anytime.’ 

One big annoying needle in every artist’s foot in live is the consumer data. There’s a huge amount of valuable fan data created in the process of selling tickets, but it’s often difficult for artists and managers to access that information. We are trying to crack that open with some artists, and get the fullest picture possible of their fanbase, so we can really optimise their income streams.

Our involvement in live concert promotion is the opposite of a ‘360’ deal structure: We offer live promotion and agency services on an opt-in basis to our [recorded music and publishing] artists. We hope those artists do opt-in, because we think we’re offering a lot of added value. But it’s their choice and if it doesn’t suit them that’s fine.

ONE OF THE BIGGEST STORIES IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY THIS YEAR HAS BEEN THE REVIVAL OF KATE BUSH’S RUNNING UP THAT HILL VIA A STRANGER THINGS SYNC OVER THE SUMMER. WHAT WAS YOUR TAKE ON THAT, AND HOW EVEN THOUGH IT’S A ‘CATALOG’ RECORD, IT EXPLODED LIKE A NEW STREAMING HIT AMONGST MILLIONS OF TEENAGERS WHO WERE HEARING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME?

It’s a beautiful dynamic, and it’s not about ‘catalog’ or ‘frontline’. Kate Bush is an icon and an iconic brand. The question for this new generation of consumers, and those in the music business working to maximize this moment’s potential is: What’s the core of the brand? Why why did she have such a cultural impact? What’s the essence of this artist’s appeal? 

I translate that to what we’re doing with Tina Turner [whose music interests BMG acquired last year]. What is the essence of why people feel so strongly and so connected to Tina Turner (pictured)? We’re talking about a premium brand here, and a brand that comes with very strong emotional attributes attached to it. Obviously, it’s about the music, but it’s about more than the music.

So, again, that’s the question: Why was an artist so culturally impactful in the first place? Once you can answer that, you go from there.

[sinful-morningstar]

Spartober Day 21 Vergil (VerNero)

Author's Note: This was a lot to write and in hindsight it is more accurate to the Experimentation prompt but not much happens in this just some hurt/comfort and some kisses. Enjoy Today's prompt ! Prompts by Whatsanapocalae1 ( I use a combination of SparTober and Devil MayTober Prompts) 21: Vergil(VerNero) ‘He’s your Father!’ the words echoed in Nero’s mind as he looked over at Vergil who sat across from him reading a book in Nico’s Van. His gaze was full of curiosity as he saw the man who was once separated V and Urizen now combined to make the man before him..man and demon collided. He looked away avoiding his father’s gaze.

A sudden shift in the atmosphere in the room causes Vergil to take notice. The book he was reading slides to the floor from his lap. The man's piercing gaze turns to Nero.

“Nero.. What do you want?”

"Nothing…it's fine…go back to your ..poetry or whatever.." Nero stammered avoiding his gaze once more blushing softly though he wasn't exactly sure why.

“My, my.. I wasn't aware that my presence was so intimidating..”Vergil chuckled to himself as his gaze turned back to the book.

“Oh, this here? It's not poetry. Just some philosophy, that's all.”

Vergil picks it up and opens the book once more to continue reading it, as his gaze is focused on it, rather than Nero.

“Ah..so I'm guessing when it belonged to V it was poetry and now that it's yours. Its philosophy now.." Nero said softly, feeling a bit at ease with Vergil's soft chuckle. It was oddly comforting.

“Something like that, yes.” Vergil said with an unamused tone, although there is a slight hint of a smile in the corners of his mouth after he said that. It is quite apparent that he's teasing Nero, as he leans back casually on his chair with his feet crossed. As his eyes return to the book, he turns onto the next page of the book.

Nero smirked softly, enjoying the sight of the slight curve of a smirk on Vergil's face. It made him happy to know he could get such a reaction from him. He looked away and sighed watching as the streets of Redgrave blew past the window.

Vergil continues to remain in the same position. He is engrossed in reading his book with a rather stoic expression on his face, his black hair falling over his eyes as a gentle breeze blows it.

He then speaks in a rather casual tone without turning his gaze back to Nero, but rather in the direction of the window.

“It's a nice day outside, isn't it?”

Nero chuckled softly at Vergil's attempts as small talk "Wow…uh i mean i guess it is…" he shrugged gently as he looked up at Vergil with a raised brow. This was a start , he couldn't complain much, not when their first meeting was a fight.

Vergil remains silent for a moment as he reads his book before he speaks in a rather nonchalant tone once again.

“You know.. we, humans, often take great pride in our achievements, but as I sit here.. reading my book..”

He chuckles, looking up from his book and fixing his gaze onto Nero before speaking with a serious and sharp tone of voice.

“I realise that in the grand scheme of things..”

Vergil turns his attention back to the book and continues to read it before falling into a slight silence.

Nero perked his head up "Half Demon..half human… remember that…" he said softly, listening closely to what Vergil was trying to say .

"You realise what?" he asked, tilting his head gently.

Vergil turns the page of his book, and looks back to Nero.

“As I was saying.. what I've achieved throughout my life so far, seems rather.. insignificant.”

He chuckles, as he reads his book once more.

“Even my struggle against my own brother.. “ He whispers to himself as he continues to read his book. His facial features become slightly more solemn for a moment as he speaks, but he quickly recovers..

“..seems so trivial and.. meaningless.”

Vergil finishes the sentence, without looking away from his book.

"Oh…." Nero said softly nodding he knew what Vergil meant, part of it was self depreciation but he knew it was also an admission of guilt and knowing when to stop , it seemed V had gotten to Vergil in his subconscious , but he knew he was right.

“And to think… It was my own pursuit of power..”

Vergil says to himself, before he closes his book and looks to Nero.

“…that caused me to lose everything. The people I loved.”

He looks down at the floor as he speaks. There is just enough silence between the two of them to hear a pin drop.

Nero nodded gently, taking in Vergil's words that they were true, accurate to what had happened all those years ago between Dante and Vergil. he swallowed softly.

"Yeah…"

Vergil sits in silence for a moment, before he speaks again. This time, his tone of voice is rather bitter, yet, his gaze remains glued on Nero.

“I was young.”

He says the man's features remain unchanged as he speaks, as if he had locked himself inside a void.

“Foolish, even…”

Vergil's face is expressionless as he continues to speak, with a rather stern and sharp tone. “But that…” Vergil chuckles to himself.

“..That was no excuse..”

"Father…You; You made some tough choices, granted I don't agree with them, not by a longshot" Nero gave a weak chuckle.

he licked his lips nervously before he continued" but. You made them because you thought it was the right thing to do, and deep down, you wanted what was best for you because well…you felt that all you had left was yourself…"

A slight smirk returns to Vergil's face as he hears Nero's words. He then stands up, looking down at the young man for a moment, before turning to put his book on a nearby table.

“I'm impressed.” He says, while looking at Nero.

“It's not often that someone can put themselves in my.. rather unique, position, and understands my motivation.”

Vergil walks towards Nero, standing behind the young man's chair and leaning forward to hold the chair's back bar.

Nero sighed "No it's not often at all but we aren't like most people…" he said with a small smirk as he moved closer to Vergil.

looking up at him in slight admiration he bit his lip "I know its hard but..I'll learn to forgive you and so will Dante…"

A slight sigh escapes Vergil's lips as he hears Nero's words.

“I suppose it's…about time that i.. forgave myself.. “He says with a soft, and almost hesitant tone.

“….for the choices I had made when I had no idea of what the outcome would really be.”

Vergil speaks to Nero with a hint of a weak smile on his face, but the man's gaze soon moves to somewhere else, as if he is lost in thought.

“That is.. IF.. I was even worthy of forgiveness.”

Nero felt his eyes tear up gently. He could hear the pain in Vergil's voice and see it in his eyes despite seeing the weak smile he knew deep down it was a disguise to shield Vergil from all the pain and burden those around him with it…

"Your are…everyone is..everyone deserves a second chance…"

Vergil's eyes meet Nero's gaze, and for a moment, the man appears surprised by the young man's words.

A second chance..

He says, his voice soft, and tinged with an emotion that is almost as if he is about to cry.

But I'm not sure if.. I deserve it.

Vergil then leans forward, resting both of his arms on the chair's back bar.

Nero looked away blinking the tears from his eyes as he sniffled gently. He licked his lips nervously before speaking again. "Well..Dante's a different story that's for sure, but..for me..I'll give you one in time..you've gotta earn that trust Vergil…"

Vergil looks down at Nero for a moment, before he speaks again.

“Earning the trust of others isn't exactly..” he paused, "..my forte, shall we say. I'm more comfortable alone than.. with anyone else.”

Vergil speaks with an unfeeling tone; but there is a small, slight crack in the man's voice that speaks of disappointment and sadness.

"Yeah I hear ya, but. Maybe; Maybe you don't have to be alone anymore. Maybe you never were" Nero said as he reached for Vergil's hand gently holding it.

Nero's touch causes Vergil to instinctively withdraw his hand a bit, before he lets Nero take his hand, although he remains silent and his expression is almost stern and unamused.

“What do you mean by that, Nero?”

He asked with his tone of voice becoming a bit more serious and sharper in quality.

"Whatever you want it to be…" Nero said sweetly with a gentle smile, a fond look in his eyes.

Vergil pauses and his gaze slowly shifts to Nero. The man's facial features remain unchanged as he speaks with a somewhat awkward tone of voice.

“I'm…. not quite sure that I understand…”

The man's voice then goes quiet for a moment. He then speaks again, but this time, his tone is rather awkward and a bit more vulnerable as well.

“Could… can you please enlighten me a little more?”

"Well I mean that depends really…" Nero said softly as he swallowed gently he inhaled slowly and sighs.

Vergil tilts his head slightly in confusion, as if asking Nero for clarification of the words he had said.

“Depends…on what?” He asked with a raised brow, as his own facial features remained unchanged but there was a subtle hint of curiosity in his voice.

"If you're willing to work on this. Work on..us whatever this is…" Nero shrugged gently.

Vergil looks down at his hand which Nero holds, he then moves his gaze down to Nero.

“Work on… us?” he says with a subtle smile forming on his face as his tone becomes slightly more relaxed, and the hints of vulnerability can be seen in the man's eyes.

“Are you referring to us having a relationship, then?” The half demon questions with his gaze firmly fixed on Nero, while a small smile remains on his face.

"Uhhh..Huuhhh umm" Nero stammered awkwardly as he blushed darkly .

"I..uhm..may have chosen the wrong words or phrases d-don't get the wrong idea.." he said defensively.

Vergil continues to stare at Nero silently, as his smile becomes more confident. He then breaks the silence by speaking once again, with his voice becoming a bit more stern, as if he was slightly disappointed with Nero's reply.

“You do not have to justify yourself, Nero” He then shifts his tone a bit, with a sense of disappointment in his voice.

“You meant relationship.. didn't you. As in..a romantic partner.”

Vergil's face remains unchanged as he speaks, and the half demon's gaze remains locked on Nero.

"Uhh uh well um ..heh w-wait h-hold on why aren't you, y'know disturbed…disgusted …" Nero stammered and stopped himself, tilting his head curiously.

The corner of Vergil's lips curls up into a smug smile, as he remains silent for a moment, before speaking.

“Why should I be?” The half demon says in a rather unfeeling tone, before speaking more gently.

He shrugs “ I’ll admit The concept of romance has always been.. foreign to me. This.. does not mean I am adverse to its effects, if given the opportunity, of course.”

Vergil's voice now has a subtle hint of amusement in it, as the man looks at Nero.

"Okay, yeah, that's valid and all but uh you're forgetting one teensy tiny little detail…I am your son…" Nero blushed and looked away.

"Unless..unless this is normal..for demons?..wait..is it normal?"

Vergil looks straight at Nero, the half demon's gaze is sharp.. almost like a predator staring down his prey; his expression remains unchanged.

“What.. does it matter if .. you are my son?” He asks in a stern and unfeeling tone. The man's voice is cold and ruthless, but he takes no notice of it himself.

“The relationship between us is not like.. traditional parent and child relationship. We.. are half demons after all. You are also an adult, you can make your own decisions, am I not correct?”

Nero looked back at Vergil biting his lip blushing scarlet at the gaze from Vergil. It made his blood run hot and cold all at the same time, his stomach in knots and it flipped and turned with curiosity, fear and a dash of desire.

"I mean, that's true..and technically you didnt raise me but..still isn't it odd?" he asked gently, licking his lips in anticipation.

Vergil gives Nero a look that seems to indicate he was a bit amused by what the young man had just said, before he answers him.

"Perhaps it is odd.."

Vergil says in a more unfeeling tone, as he looks to the side, seeming a bit pensive.

"..then again, so are we. He pauses for a moment, before looking back at Nero, as a subtle smile starts forming in the corner of his lips.

“But.. I am willing to give.. romance.. a try.”

Vergil's expression remains stern and serious, with his eyebrows slightly raising at the words of Nero. He then speaks to the young man, with a slight shake in his voice.

“Odd… or not.”

He moves his gaze to the side for a moment, as his voice drops in tone.

“..I will not stop you from.. experimenting with.. your.. feelings, if you wish to do so.”

He speaks in a rather unfeeling tone, although it's quite noticeable that he is more vulnerable than he appears on the outside.

Nero nodded gently as he as he swallowed audibly looking up at Vergil with intent, he took in his words and sighed gently before leaning in and doing as Vergil said..Experimenting with his true feelings the ones that bubbled and boiled in V's presence and now is reserved for Vergil.

his lips pressed up against Vergil's as he kissed him without hesitation, his heart racing as he held him close.

A slight gasp leaves Vergil's lips as Nero kisses him, his eyes widening in surprise as his face turns red with colour. The man's expression remains unchanged however as he gazes at Nero's face, the half demon's own eyes locking on Nero's lips for a moment.. before he moves to kiss Nero back.

The two share a passionate and tender kiss, their lips tightly pressed against each other, as the warmth of their breath mingled together, and the taste of their lips mixing. Their tongues slowly begin to duel against each other with passionate intent.

[zozobruh]

Tag game to better know you

Iva, my dear, tysm for tagging me @b1uetrees <3

what book are you currently reading?

I finally got around to reading Dune! It's going really sloooow since I have been working and trying to write my thesis at the same time, but so far so good! (The 1st movie def didn't do justice to some things oops) 

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

I haven't really been to the cinema this year. Objectively, I would say it was Banshees of Inisherin (which I saw with Iva ofc hehe). In terms of the experience of live screening it def was The Rocky Horror Picture Show! It was so fun, I loved people singing and making comments to the plot, epic

what do you usually wear?

Most days of the year you'll see me in mom jeans and a shirt tucked in them or a sweater over them for colder periods of the year. Recently I bought high-waisted wide-leg black jeans and I AM IN LOVE. For shoes I prefer the vans sneakers and dr. martens boots.

how tall are you

157 cm (5'2)

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Taurus. For celebrities ik that I share my bday with Pierce Brosnan, Megan Fox and Thomas Brodie-Sangster lol

do you go by your name or a nickname?

I go by my name (Klara). The only person that actually calls me Zozo is my boyfriend haha

did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

Def not, but I still think child me would be pretty impressed with what we achieved and would probably think the adult me is cool af haha

are you in a relationship? if not, who is your crush if you have one?

Yes, going strong for almost 4 and a half years. I love my bf and I wouldn't trade what we have for the world. MUST protect <3

what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?

Honest answer is that I think I'm average at everything lmao. I guess I'm good at planning, organizing and respecting deadlines. I'm bad at maths and quick thinking haha

dogs or cats?

I always say both, but if I'm put in a spot and have to choose, I'll say cats. I feel like kitties are just closer to my personality and I like their dynamic.

if  you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite  picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this  year?

I have been writing some rather emo poetry since highschool (I'm okay), so earlier in April, I wrote a little poem I liked:

Daffodil The reflection of water on the wall Mercilessly moving The time is taking its toll The tall glass vase on the table Mercilessly staying still The time is writing its fable As it slowly comes to kill A beautiful yellow daffodil

Recently, I got back into writing fanfiction bc of watching KP, here's my fave line from my fic (ofc titled after MCR) The world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me:

Kinn sits up and studies the night in Bangkok. The bright yellow lights of the buildings are reflected in the darkness of the river. The Theerapanakul headquarters are amongst the brightest shining buildings, shaping the skyline of the city.  Sometimes the building feels like his home, swarming with memories of his brothers and him playing, of his mother reading them stories and preparing them for bed. Growing up made it feel like a prison in which he exists, simply fulfilling his destiny.

what is something that you’d like to create content for?

Before I got into KP brainrot, I really wanted to write for Beyond Evil, but never got to it. But now, I do have a pretty well-developed idea for a BE fic! Everything is on hold until I finish my thesis tho

A wild part of me also wants to stream The Sims4 let's play hahaah

what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

My brain got a bit too tired to be obsessed in the purest sense of the word, but I'd say KP (and the actors who play them) still has a pretty strong chokehold on me.

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Honestly nothing. The things I was excited about were great, but the things I wasn't excited about were shit so lmao, as expected

what’s a hidden talent of yours?

Don't think I have one

are you religious?

I'm not, however, I'd still say I'm somewhat spiritual. I grew up catholic, but I realized it's just not for me. Since it's hard for me to believe there's nothing at all, so the closest to what I'd label myself as is agnostic.

what’s something you wish to have at this moment?

a finished thesis, so i have more time to relax and do my hobbies after work, one can dream ah

A no pressure tag for @tr1edandtrueblue if you feel like doing this :3

[blessed1neha]

If the horoscope of Lord Ram and Sita was a perfect match? Why was there so much suffering in their marriage then?

This is the most common query when one thinks about Astrology and its utility. Being perplexed about the life events of any of the Vishnu Avtaars or even the Rudra Avtaar, even when they were all Demi-Gods, is obvious!

A relevant couplet by Saint Kabir Das Ji can be quoted:

मुनि वशिष्ट से पंडित ज्ञानी , सोध के लगन धरी । सीता हरन मरन दशरथ को , वन में बिपति परी । करम गति टारे नाहीं टरी ।

So, here we are talking about two great Kings, Dashrath and Janak Both were very righteous, and their subjects had much adoration for both.

King Janak, was even referred to the most learned wise man, or the ‘Sat Guru’ of his times. Whereas Dashrath had the honour of having Muni Vasisth as his ‘Kul Guru’

So, basically it can be assumed that both collectively did the right thing for their age and times. [Remember, they were great Kings and their pupil were like their family.]

Then, what went wrong? Nothing! Yes, absolutely nothing went wrong. It was all pre-planned and pre-destined.

The purpose of horoscope matching for marriage, is that they both should be supportive to each others cause and purpose of life. This is what happened in Sia-Ram’s match.

The purpose of Shri Ram was to get rid of the devils dwelling around, who were posing a threat to all the sages and humans in general. As a future king, it was his duty too, to cleanse all the evil doers in the society before establishing the Ram-Rajya! How else could have been a king on excursion (or exile, as it is termed) for 14 years without raising an eyebrow!

In getting married Sita Ji to Ram, she supported him in all his endeavors, be it the van-vaas, be it her kidnapping (as it was also needed as a premise for an exiled Prince to attack on an enemy, Ram being Purush-uttom, couldn’t do anything adharmik)

Considering, why did Laxman became an accomplice to Ram. Here too, we need to broaden the perspectives of two brothers taking care of the Kingdom, while two others taking care of the others. In the current scenario, you may count it as Ministry of External Affairs and Ministry of Defense, being Ram (always being politically correct & Laxman always being the aggressive) while the other portfolio of the cabinet resting with Bharat & Shatrughan.

Did Ram and Sita really suffered? Where is it written in any of the Ramayanas written by anyone? While it has clearly mentioned of the pain and agony of Dashrath while sending Ram to exile or the agony of Ram when Laxman went into coma. So, it is us mortals who are unaware of the true mission, consider their lives to be full of pain, while it mustn’t have been.

What was the achievement of this particular episode of Ramayana? All the Devils were neutralized, friendly relations were established with all the neighboring kingdoms.

The losses thus occurred? Except for the pains while a team is out on excursion, there was no loss, the Kingdom, the family, the pupil, the neighboring states, all were handed back to Ram on his return.

Now, look at Uttar Ramayana Sita was sent to exile, as people said that she became impure due to her stay with the devil. This is what we know! While the fact is, Sita is Pious, and was kept pious by Ravana. He never used force onto her, when he was such a great warrior! We are so used to hear about rape cases all around us these days; wasn’t it possible for Ravan? He never did! So why did Ram sent her to exile (or to Valmiki Ji’s Ashram)? The basic reason is that Sita ji was pregnant, and as we know, the sanskar gained during pregnancy have a lasting effect onto the child (Abhimanyu of Mahabharata is a true example). In the Ashram, she would be taken care of! She would receive the best knowledge through Maharishi Valmiki and the kids would attain the basic learning and knowledge in the best possible manner, while keeping aloof from the glitz and glamour of a princely life!

Finally they were tested too, both at the court of Shri Ram and in the war front when they stopped the Horse of the Ashv-Megh-Yagna.

So, in totality, Ayodhya received the best of king as Shri Ram and his sons Luv-Kush. It was well matched through Muni Vasisth as per the need of those times.

Hence, kundli matching isn’t always done for a happy life, rather its a means to achieve the desired result (Karmic outcomes) out of a marriage.

[oasisguitar]

6 Guitar Bands To Know About In The New Wave Of Classic Rock

Rival Sons, a SoCal rock 'n' roll guitar band, has been kicking out the jams since 2009. So, how did the four-piece end up as one of the forerunners of a new, surging musical movement dubbed the "New Wave of Classic Rock" in 2021, after six albums and more than a decade in existence? "This type of sound is becoming popular as a kind of reaction to what we've been fed over the last decade for guitar bands," Rival Sons guitarist Scott Holiday says. "Things move in cycles, and new rock 'n' roll – not alternative or metal, but a true rock 'n' roll sound – has been extremely difficult to find in the last decade." Rival Sons, like other guitar bands in the NWOCR (New Wave of Classic Rock) genre such as Greta Van Fleet guitar band, the Struts guitar band, Dirty Honey guitar band, Dorothy guitar band, and others, perform music that harkens back to the seminal work of icons such as Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Deep Purple, Cream, and others. This new generation of performers, like the masters, is creating hard-hitting, swaggering, riff-driven rock 'n' roll built around a core vocal-guitar-bass-drum configuration. As Holiday points out, unlike these originals, the up-and-comers are entering a hostile musical and cultural landscape. However, the erratic nature of music trends – as well as rock's shifting position in pop culture – is nothing new. Since the 1950s, when rock 'n' roll first emerged with its dangerous, distorted grooves, the genre's stature has risen and fallen repeatedly. And "Rock Is Dead" has been declared by many critics over the years. However, there is always a new generation of kids picking up electric guitars and making an exciting racket – and new rock acts continue to fill clubs (in normal times), rise up the ranks, and push the form forward. What makes this current renaissance so intriguing is that these guitar bands are beginning to achieve mainstream crossover success and are occupying prime cultural real estate that has been largely occupied by hip-hop and radio pop for the better part of the last decade or two. NWOCR bands are signing major-label deals, sound tracking superhero TV shows and Levi's campaigns, performing at fashion shows and Coachella, topping Billboard charts, receiving Grammy nominations, amassing millions of digital streams, attracting legions of global fans, and galvanising a strong grass-roots online community (many of whom congregate on the popular New Wave of Classic Rock Facebook group). The NWOCR scene's guitar bands are also a diverse bunch, both musically and philosophically. They're experimenting with a variety of styles, ranging from bluesy and rootsy to glam, progressive, and straight-up speaker-rattling rock, and tackling distinctly personal lyrical themes that are unique to their own experiences and world views. Their sound is built on a solid foundation of guitar-based rock 'n' roll that's full of big riffs, intoxicating grooves, spine-tingling vocals, and stadium-sized ambitions. "Much like in the '90s when guitar bands were labelled 'grunge,' you had a group of guitar bands that didn't sound very similar or even share the same ethos, but they were all under that umbrella," Holiday says. "It was probably frustrating and strange for them all to be labelled under this one thing at the same time, but they were better off in the end." It grew into a movement." "We embrace it," says guitarist Adam Slack of the Struts' New Wave of Classic Rock label. "We do, however, stand by our desire to push the production of our music into the twenty-first century, rather than be carbon copies of the past." "Honestly, I'm not sure where we fit in or don't fit in!" says John Notto of Dirty Honey. "But I hope we're carrying the torch of rock 'n' roll, which was fun, catchy, and soulful while remaining grimy and uncompromising." We're not trying to sound like any particular genre; we just want to contribute to the conversation that our heroes started." In that spirit, we present 15 rising New Wave of Classic Rock acts who aspire to the great guitar heights of their forefathers – bands offering fresh takes on tried-and-true formulas, carrying the classic flame and illuminating the path forward for rock 'n' roll.

There are the top 6 Guitar Bands:

THE RIVAL SONS

Rival Sons have emerged as one of the frontrunners of the classic-rock revival scene since forming in Long Beach, California, in 2009. Rival Sons have cultivated a growing international fanbase and the respect of some top-tier classic acts, including Deep Purple, Aerosmith, and Black Sabbath, thanks to guitarist Scott Holiday's searing riffs and singer/guitarist Jay Buchanan's bluesy vocals. Feral Roots, their sixth and most recent full-length, was a watershed moment for the guitar band. The Grammy-nominated album was their first for Atlantic Records imprint Low Country Sound, and it featured the chart-topping single Do Your Worst, which peaked at No. 1 on Billboard's Mainstream Rock Songs chart. "Many people all over the world… are aching for new rock 'n' roll: not active rock, metal, or alternative rock, but rock 'n' roll." "We've been here to provide them with exactly that," Holiday says. "Don't get me wrong – I love all those offshoots, and we may give you some of that in this band at any time." Rival Sons' heart, however, is that soul- and blues-based dirty garage-y rock 'n' roll. And we're excellent at delivering it." THE CROWN LANDS

This Canadian duo, comprised of singer/drummer Cody Bowles and guitarist Kevin Comeau, exudes '70s hard-rock energy, from vintage clothing and shaggy hair to speaker-shaking blues riffs, Zep-esque loud/soft dynamics, and a healthy dose of psychedelic vibes. They've only released one full-length album, 2020's Crown Lands, but the guitar band has already gained some high-profile fans, including Jack White and Primus. Crown Lands is also using its platform to effect change. Bowles is half Mi'kmaq, a Nova Scotian indigenous tribe, and the duo is dedicated to raising awareness about the marginalisation of First Nations peoples, as evidenced by songs like End of the Road. "We want to be a little more fluid in how we express ourselves through music," Comeau says. "There are dynamics here." We have a softer side that we are not afraid to embrace, as well as a stranger side." HONEY DIRTY

Dirty Honey, a four-piece from Los Angeles, made history in 2019 with the release of their self-titled, self-released EP. When its anthemic, riff-filled single When I'm Gone reached Number One on Billboard's Mainstream Rock Songs airplay chart, it was the first time an unsigned band had done so. That accomplishment capped off a whirlwind few years for the guitar band, which also saw Dirty Honey open for Slash, The Who, and Guns N' Roses. But for Les Paul–wielding guitarist John Notto, the party is just getting started. The guitar band is working on a new record for 2021 that expands on the statement made on the debut EP and sees the band "venturing some new, exciting areas." "I believe our combination of blues-based riffs, big choruses, and an overall atmosphere of a party gone wrong gives us a distinct sound in today's music," Notto says. "There aren't many bands out there who play and write like we do." A lot of rock these days is tight, heavily produced, and dark in tone. We're carefree, upbeat, and unapologetic about it." LARKIN POE Source: Google Larkin Poe, the Nashville-based guitar band founded by multi-instrumentalist sisters Rebecca and Megan Lovell, have refined their rootsy Southern musical style since their debut with Kin in 2014. The duo is best known in blues circles (their 2018 album Venom & Faith received a Grammy nomination for Best Contemporary Blues Album), but they also have some classic-rock chops (aptly, CSNY, Queen and the Allman Brothers Band are among their formative influences). One listen to 2020's hit single She's a Self Made Man's massive riffs, burning slide licks, and gospel-tinged harmonies and you'll get the picture. "The guitar has taken its own journey." "As a musician, it's fascinating to approach different ranges of an instrument," says singer/guitarist Rebecca Lovell. "I find Megan's slide playing and the way she expresses its vocal qualities fascinating." That's something I've been moved by on the guitar because it has such a wide range…" STONEFIELD

Stonefield is the psychedelic, stoner-rock vehicle for the Findlay sisters: Amy (vocals/drums), Hannah (guitar), Holly (bass), and Sarah (keyboards/vocals) from Australia. The band's haunting, heady jams – like Sleep from 2019's Bent – are reminiscent of the Sabbath-y, Deep Purple end of the classic-rock spectrum, with deep fuzz, lush keys, and riffs for days. Stonefield isn't just creating intense musical moments; they're also confronting some heavy subject matter drawn from the Findlay sisters' personal lives. " is about our personal experiences…" Amy states. "Songs about the terror of walking home alone at night, stories about what it's like to be an all-female guitar band, and the power of mutual support." With that as the lyrical subject, the music that resulted is undeniably our heaviest." DOROTHY

Dorothy are a Los Angeles rock band signed to Jay-Roc Z's Nation, centred on singer/namesake Dorothy Martin. Dorothy's 2016 debut ROCKISDEAD proved otherwise (see gritty, catchy foot stompers Raise Hell and Wicked Ones), and its follow-up, 2018's 28 Days in the Valley, showed the guitar band adding even more classic-rock theatrics to the proceedings. Martin has worked with a number of guitarists over the years, including Nick Perri, and received songwriting assistance from ex–4 Non Blondes singer/hitmaker Linda Perry on 28 Days (Cheap Trick, Dolly Parton). The Martin-Perry collaboration produced a more diverse sound reminiscent of Jefferson Airplane and the Doors, complete with rich textures, howling guitars, and Martin's undeniable, soaring vocals. Dorothy's third album, Gifts From the Holy Ghost, will be released later this year. "We're not trying to fit into a box," says Martin. "We're not attempting to write songs that we believe should be played on the radio." We simply want to make good music. The challenge for me is to be as honest as possible." Read the full article

[jokertrap-ran]

(光与夜之恋 Light and Night) Evan’s 6✩ Inspiration: Umbrae Secrets [繁荫秘语] Date Translation (END 2 + 3 + 4: Call Out)

“This is such a remote area. Were I to do anything, it would be nothing more than a piece of cake.”

*Light and Night Master-list | Evan’s Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Join the Light & Night Discord (＾▽＾)~ ♪ *This 6✩ Inspiration has 8 Endings!! *Reblogs and likes appreciated! *Evan’s tag will be #For Night, For Revolution *T/N: This card takes me out so quick I needed time to recover. Hunter and prey... MC triggered the Hunter... 

After pondering for a while, I finally decided to…

✥ Choice: Call Out [呼唤] ⊹Speak⊹

⊹ Ask Evan for his opinion ⊹

MC: Any bright ideas, Evan?

Evan: I'm thinking that maybe we can find a place to set up camp early…

Evan: Because you seem very eager to camp out.

MC: You got me. Let's go with that then!

❖☆———————————★❖

Evan was very experienced when it came to selecting a suitable campsite.

Eventually, we managed to find a fitting flat and cosy patch of grass that was both leeward and shaded, with a source of water nearby.

By the time we finished setting up the tent, the sky had already gradually darkened. The temperature of the forest quietly dropped as the occluding darkness surrounded us. But I had Evan with me, so there was no need to fear.

We lit the camp stove and roasted some food. The flickering firelight became the most dazzling thing in the forest, casting dancing shadows and lights all around. There was a certain romance to it.

For a moment, all I could hear was the crackling of fire and the soft chips and buzz of the insects nearby. It felt as if even time had come to a standstill.

❖☆———————————★❖

I inadvertently raised my head. The night sky above was adorned with stars, like fine scattered gemstones sewn onto an expanse of black velvet. Each and every one of them was equally lustrous, converging into a glimmering band of light and extending into the distance.

I watched the sky in a trance while lying on the grass. Evan sat quietly beside me

After a while, I tugged on his sleeve.

❖☆———————————★❖

MC: Look, the light of the stars only becomes much more apparent once all the lights have been extinguished.

MC: The grass smells good too, so why don’t you try lying down too?

He looked down at me with a smile and contemplated the idea. He finally agreed after a moment of hesitation.

Evan: Alright.

❖☆———————————★❖

He moved closer and laid down beside me. Now, another rhythm sounded in my ears: his gentle and steady breathing.

Evan: It is very beautiful.

MC: I feel like it's been a long time since I last saw a starry sky like this.

MC: No wonder those philosophers always liked looking up at the stars when they think. Now I understand why they would.

MC: The sight of an area this vast can make people forget all trivialities and let their thoughts wander further to the past and even the future.

Evan: So where has your mind flown off to now?

MC: Me? I’m thinking that since the forest is so beautiful, maybe I’ll go live in the forest next time, aha.

Then, a curious thought popped into my head.

MC: Right, Evan. Have you ever thought about where you’d like to live after having fulfilled all your goals?

❖☆———————————★❖

I waited for a long time, but Evan never replied.

Did he fall asleep?

I decided to gently call out to him…

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

⊹ E2: If you fail to call him ⊹

I’d called out to him multiple times in a row before he finally turned his head, looking slightly out of it.

Evan: Are you calling me? Sorry, I spaced out.

MC: Oh, no worries.

Evan smiled at me but didn’t say anything more.

Some people are made of mysteries. Perhaps this was simply a question he didn’t wish to answer now.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

⊹ E3: If you call him EVAN (陆沉) ⊹

Evan instantly snapped back to attention upon hearing me call out to him. He smiled apologetically.

Evan: Sorry. Your question's a little hard to answer. I lost track of myself thinking it through.

MC: Huh? Have you never imagined such things?

Evan: Hmm. That might be because the matters I always have on hand are more important, so I tend to focus all my attention on them.

MC: Right… I've been there and done that too.

MC: Back when I was schooling, I often found studying to be very dry and stressful.

MC: But, whenever I found myself unable to bear it anymore, I would fantasize about Summer Vacation and draw new motivation from it.

MC: Whenever I felt down or life got hard, I’d always dream about how much better life would be after I achieved my goals.

MC: Maybe you could think about it this way too?

Evan: After fulfilling my goal?

Evan: After that… I think nothing matters after that anymore.

His last sentence was so soft that it sounded as if he was mumbling to himself, and I wasn’t too sure if I’d actually heard him.

I turned to him in question, but he never answered, keeping so silent that it was almost as if he was one with the very ground.

I was starting to feel a little inexplicably worried when he then opened his mouth, as if the prior silence had never existed.

Evan: How about you tell me about it first? What’s your ideal life like? Maybe it’ll nudge me in the right direction.

MC: Hmm… Sometimes, I like lively Cities.

MC: But other times, I like someplace quiet; somewhere with mountains and water… I think that’s a pretty good place to live too...

MC: But there's no wifi there and I can’t eat my favourite ice cream… It’s a real pickle.

Evan: Perhaps what you like is change itself.

MC: Yeah… But some things will never change!

MC: Like, how I don't want to be too far from everyone.

MC: Without the people to share interesting things and breathtaking sceneries with, it'll certainly take the fun out of things.

His low chuckle sounded near my ear, close at hand.

Evan: I now know where I'd like to live next time.

MC: Where?

Evan: Somewhere not too far away from you. Would you welcome that?

MC: Of course I do. But, aren't you already here by me?

He turned his head over, watching me with a serious look as the light flickered at the bottom of his eyes.

My arm moved, inadvertently brushing against his cool skin, but also not shying away from it. He flipped his palm and encased my fingers within them.

Evan: You are correct.

Evan: To me, right now, life is perfectly fine as it is.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

⊹ E4: If you call him HUBBY (老公) ⊹

Evan shot me a slightly surprised look. Suddenly, the realization of what I'd just done washed over me.

Then, he shifted closer to me; so close that I didn't even dare turn my head.

Evan: Are you trying to hint at something by suddenly addressing me in this manner?

Evan: This is such a remote area. Were I to do anything, it would be nothing more than a piece of cake.

I inwardly froze. Evan was different from usual today… His warm breath brushed past my ear, inciting a continuous yet faint ticklish sensation.

MC: Hahaha… You wouldn't...

Evan: And why are you so sure that I wouldn't?

MC: You're always mindful and courteous. You aren't… that sort of person.

Evan: "That sort of person"? What sort of person?

He lifted his head in interest, looking down at me in a condescending manner. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't even get a sentence out right as the temperature of my cheeks rapidly shot up.

MC: That… That sort… Evan, stop making fun of me like that…

He narrowed his eyes into a smile, suddenly flipping himself over and balancing himself above me!

Rationally speaking, I knew deep down just what sort of person he was, but my body still ran on instinct: It sensed danger.

His broad form, usually reassuring, looked immeasurably intimidating from this angle. I couldn't help but bite my lip as my heart sped off the charts.

MC: Evan, what are you… doing…?

Evan: I'm thinking about your question.

Evan: You asked me what sort of place I'd like to live at, correct?

MC: Then… what does this have anything to do with that?

Evan: I feel like your eyes might hold the answer I seek.

MC: That's a lie and you know it…

My voice grew softer and softer because Evan was slowly lowering himself down.

Watching those dark red eyes of his that hid a glimpse of a smirk in its depths gradually draw closer, I panicked, stiffening up as my mind went completely blank...

I frantically swiped his glasses from the bridge of his nose, turning over to keep them away from him.

MC: Any more, and no glasses for you!

Evan paused, a little stunned at the sudden loss of his glasses. He then moved away with a smile, lying back down on the grass.

Evan: Did I scare you? I apologize. I just wanted to poke fun at you.

Evan: Sometimes you’ll bite off more than you can handle when you think someone too simple.

I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief before angrily puffing out my cheek.

MC: Okay, okay, you’re not simple! Even more so to keep your glasses away from you!

Evan: Then I’d better stick close to you and let you lead me around. Will that be alright?

Evan: Hm? (Y/n).

I turned my back on him and felt him gently place a hand on my shoulder. The heat swiftly passed through the thin fabric of my clothes, making me unwittingly shudder at the warmth.

I could even feel his eyes digging into me. The area where he burned holes into me with his eyes was hot, the grass underneath me was no different, and neither were the glasses I held in my hands.

I couldn’t form the words to answer him; all I could do was to hope that he couldn’t hear how fast my heart was racing.

❖☆———————————★❖

The next day, early morning. I woke up to the melodious singing of birds.

Evan was already awake, neatly dressed and sitting on the folded chair at the entrance, sipping on a cup of coffee.

Evan: Good morning. Sleep well last night?

MC: Brilliantly! I was so tired from walking so long yesterday that I fell asleep the moment my head met the pillow.

MC: Oh, right. It’ll take quite a long time to go back where we came, so let’s eat something, pack up, and leave as soon as possible!

Evan set his cup of coffee down,

Evan: Aren’t you forgetting something?

MC: Huh?

Evan: I recall you wanting to see bamboo piths, but we have yet to see any.

I froze, awkwardly laughing it off

That had originally been an excuse to get him outside and I’d totally forgotten about it.

MC: Hehe. I’m not that adamant about seeing bamboo piths.

MC: I only said that back then as an excuse to get you out so that you can relax.

MC: I heard that you had things rather rough before that so I was a little worried about you.

He looked slightly surprised. Then, he lowered his eyes, a warm smile catching onto the sides of his mouth.

Evan: So it was because of me.

Evan: Thank you for accompanying me here. I’m certainly much more relaxed now.

MC: But considering how you were previously… Are you really okay?

Evan: Yes. It’s probably not as bad as you’re thinking. I was just thinking about some old people and old things and felt a little glum about it.

Evan: I never thought that I’d end up alarming others.

MC: Why am I “others” now?

MC: Don’t bottle your troubles up to solve them yourself. You need to remember to share them with people close to you as well!

Evan: Okay. I will keep that in mind.

I still didn’t know what he was troubled by, but I suppose this was still within my expectations.

From my impression of him, he has always been strong. It was almost as if he was shouldering a mission that no one knew about, walking down a similarly obscured path.

After finishing breakfast, we packed and prepared to leave the forest.

We idly chatted with each other along the way until suddenly, Evan stopped short while we were passing through an area.

Following his gaze, I saw a unique-looking umbrella-shaped thing growing within the shrubbery’s shade.

Evan: See? We still managed to chance upon it.

MC: Wow, are all of these bamboo piths?

We walked over together, squatting beside the small white fungi.

It had a small black cap and had grown out a long white mesh skirt.

This was the first time I ever saw a bamboo pith growing in the soil. I widened my eyes in surprise, unwilling to blink as I drank in the sight. After observing it for a while, I finally raised a finger, reaching out to touch its “skirt”.

MC: It’s so wet and soft-looking! It’s adorable! Have you seen it before, Evan?

MC: I can’t believe you managed to recognize it at a glance!

Evan: Yes. It was back during the first time I’d been driven into the forest as a child.

Evan: I witnessed the law of the jungle and escaped from the jaws of death of a snake. I felt like the forest was a place filled with danger and wanted nothing but to leave the place the faster, the better.

Evan: Then, just as I was hungry and exhausted, I saw a bamboo pith.

Evan: At that time, I didn’t know what it was and if it was actually poisonous.

Evan: Deep in the throes of despair, I thought “why not just take it, eat it, and see what my fate turns out to be”?

MC: Evan…

Evan: But guess what I saw while I was hesitating?

Evan: I saw it growing its fungus skirt. All it took was a little effort on its part, and its little skirt grew longer and longer.

Evan: I stared at it blankly, in a daze. I didn’t even notice that my legs had gone numb from how long I’d stared at it.

He retracted himself from his memory palace, turning around to face me with a smile.

Evan: It was as simple as a little young lady, capable of encouraging me with its adorability and enchantments.

Evan: It made me understand that forest, in all its gloom and doom, still has its own little interesting spots.

Evan: And that one is only capable of seeing it by living on, don’t you think?

His expression was quiet, but within those calm eyes of his, I could see that little boy who’d struggled his hardest to remain strong. I felt my heart constrict slightly at that and moved to hold his hand tightly in my own.

MC: Evan, that’s all in the past. You’re no longer that helpless little boy.

Evan: No, I’m fine.

Evan: I might have forgotten even this if we hadn’t seen the bamboo piths today.

Evan: It feels a little unbelievable when I think back on it now. It was a memory plagued by darkness, yet it still held its own beautiful moments.

I felt a pang of sorrow creep into my heart. Words of comfort were right at the tip of my tongue, yet I felt like they’d be completely helpless.

This man before me, strong as a warrior; someone who’d been forced to face life-or-death decisions from a very young age… Maybe he wasn’t as complicated as I initially thought he was.

There are many reasons why one would choose death, but to choose life? The reason was simple; just a little spark was required, and Evan was no exception.

MC: I forgot who said it, but someone once said that the meaning of existence that people spend their entire lives seeking out is actually hidden in the simple things.

MC: Evan, won’t you say that you might end up thinking similarly as well one day?

MC: You might not be able to find it immediately, but that’s fine. I will accompany you in your search for it, no matter how long it takes.

Evan fixed me with a profound look before stretching out his hand and reverently crossing it over my own.

Evan: Alright. Together we shall be.

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ∘◦ ✥ ◦∘ ━━━━━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

✥ Choose your Ending:

END 1 | Choice: Do Nothing [都不做]

END 2 +3 + 4 | Choice: Call Out [呼唤] ⊹Speak⊹

END 4 + 6 | Choice: Approach [亲近] ⊹Touch⊹

END 7 + 8 | Choice: Heart-throb [心动] ☆Light & Night★

❖☆————— ⊹ For Night, For Revolution⊹ —————★❖

Previous Part: (Prologue)

[bailey-reaper]

Do a drabble on Barok’s and his s/o wedding day and night.

The Ring of Truth

Notes: Hmmm! This is another of those scenarios that would no doubt differ depending on S/O's gender and, possibly, their standing in society. I'm going to proceed on the assumption that the wedding is a private affair that is conducted in a rather unconventional manner.

Also, sorry anon, I didn't end up writing about the wedding night – perhaps another time!

In this instance, S/O is gender neutral (they/them pronouns). Barok refers to them using petnames.

Content Warnings: fluff, marriage, Herlock Sholmes

"You know," Herlock Sholmes began, causing Barok to surreptitiously roll his eyes, "It just so happens that I'm a recognised member of the clergy!"

That one caused a small ripple of shock at the table, "Are you really?" Barok replied dryly, because no doubt this was going to form part of a 'witty' (and lengthy) anecdote that would drone on and on until the teller forgot what he was talking about and changed to some other inane subject.

"Yes, indeed," Sholmes said, taking a brief puff on his pipe, "I was ordained into the priesthood as thanks for my swift, discreet solving of a little matter that was upsetting Vatican City..."

"Oh Mr. Sholmes you simply must tell us more!" Susato chimed in, clasping her hands together in delight.

"Why I'd love to, my dear madam."

"Yes," Barok muttered, "There's nothing you love more than the sound of your own voice..."

"Rather a rude quip, Mr. Reaper, and from a lawyer no less!"

"At least when I talk it holds some relevance to it."

"Hmmm, I suspect what I say here will hold relevance some day down the line..."

──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────

And, much to Barok's disbelief, Sholme's words held true when he found himself in need of someone to officiate a ceremony between him and his beloved. He'd abandoned his faith a long while ago, when Klint died, and he did not care to rejoin a flock again.

While his beloved had never been much for faith and was similarly without a Parish Church to call theirs. In such circumstances, Barok had finally cast his mind back to the irksome detective's declaration to the effect that he was a 'member of the clergy'.

Any ceremony they conducted would be unofficial, of course, given their circumstances, but they were both keen to be married in a symbolic sense. An exchange of rings and words. It was not something Barok had thought he wanted, but a growing part of him had become deeply keen on the idea of a 'wedding' with his beloved.

So, much to his chagrin, he found himself calling at 211B Baker Street to speak to Sholmes.

"My dear man!" Sholmes exclaimed excitedly, "A wedding is a truly auspicious affair, and the wedding of a Reaper must be doubly so in some realm or another!"

Barok peered at the detective, lips drawn into a thin line, "Answer the question, man, will you officiate or not?"

"Nothing would delight me more! Now, might I suggest the perfect venue?"

". . . . You may suggest what you like, but I remain at liberty to reject your request on account of it no doubt being utterly ridiculous."

"Come now, Mr. Reaper, I'm not about to suggest you be wed in a hot air balloon or something of that nature! Though, come to think of it, that would be quite a thrilling way in which to 'tie the knot' haha!"

". . . . I'm starting to lose my patience, Sholmes..."

"Running out of wine, are we?"

"That's neither here nor there," Barok observed, taking a sip of wine, "Though it does mean that casting this hallowed chalice at your head would be a more worthwhile use for it..."

"Yes, yes, no doubt you've the right of it, sir!" it seemed nothing could affect the detective's mood when his spirits were high, not even the threat of violence from the Reaper himself, "Anyway, as I was saying: I think a ceremony, right here, in Baker Street, would be perfect. There can be no more romantic venue than the living quarters of the greatest and most famous detective of all time! And the pleasure can be yours, my good fellow, for the nominal fee of one hundred shillings!"

A long silence drew out between the two men: Herlock stood over his guest, leaning in, with a smile on his face and hands out in fanfare while Barok stared at his host, unblinking, before finishing what remained in his chalice.

"No," he finally and bluntly replied, "I have a perfectly attractive ancestral home that can serve as a venue. Naturally, I will permit you the use of one of the cottages within the estate, and you may remain for a spell afterward on holiday if you so wish... but I won't be renting your... eccentric premises. I cannot think of a more chaotic and unappealing place to host a wedding."

Sholmes sighed, "Ah... it must be quite a challenge to be so perpetually dour! Still, I admire your tenacity Mr. Reaper!"

"... Thank you, it comes naturally."

"Well, it is settled, give me a date and time and I shall be there posthaste to wed you and your sweetheart in holy matrimony? Unholy matrimony? Oh but wait... what on earth will happen when you reach the 'til death do us part' section of the vows? Being a reaper and all!" Sholmes laughed with delight as he contemplated the absurdity of a reaper being wed.

"I'll see myself out," Barok said, leaving the detective to his amusement.

──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────

A few months later, the date of the wedding arrived.

In somewhat unconventional fashion, Barok had selected his lawyerly nemesis, Ryūnosuke Naruhodō, to be his best man. The gesture was not lost on the young man, who took to it with his usual furtive vigour.

"Would you stop looking around like with quite such a terrified look in your eyes?" the groom said, glaring at the best man as he stood there trembling, "Anyone would think it was you getting married."

"Well... uh... yes I... um, sorry," Ryūnosuke eventually managed, "... I suppose I'm still a little surprised that you would ask me, of all people, to be your best man... not least of all given that I have no idea how British wedding ceremonies work."

"Well, happily for you this is far from a conventional one," Barok replied, "Who knows what will go wrong with that idiot detective in charge of proceedings..." it was strangely freeing, however, to know that nothing hinged on this. There were no expectant aristocrats, waiting for anything to go wrong so that they could then gossip about it for years to come; nor extended relatives to have to placate. The intimacy of the ceremony meant that the only thing Barok cared about was his beloved enjoying their day, which was a good concern to have.

"And as for choosing you to be my best man," he continued, "I think you've earned at least that much... Were it not for you, I'd no doubt be dead or transported by now."

It was still sobering to think that he'd almost been convicted of murder...

"... I'm sure you would have managed your own defence, but, I'm glad that we could all reach the truth."

"Yes..." it had been deeply cathartic in its way, perhaps just a touch more so than it had been soul shattering. If not for Ryūnosuke's impressive defence and his beloved's support, Barok was unsure what sort of a mess he would have become post-trial.

The ordeal had only cemented in his mind that this person was the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life – however long that might be. He paused as he looked down at the Prosecutor's badge he'd affixed to his suit; Klint's badge. His fingers grazed the finely enameled surface. The fact that his older brother was not here to see him wed was a tragic one, but, he had come to the conclusion that he needed to move forward rather than perpetually looking back.

No doubt Klint would want him to enjoy his day, so he ought to honour that wish.

"Uh... Lord van Zieks?" he realised Ryūnosuke was speaking.

"... You may call me Barok, Mr. Naruhodō."

"Oh... uh..." clearly that had startled him, "In... that case, please call me 'Ryūnosuke'."

"... Very well. What is it, Ryūnosuke?"

"It's time for the ceremony."

Barok took a deep breath and nodded, "... Let's go, then," it had been a long while since he felt the flutter of nerves quite like this; in fact, it reminded him of the first time he stood in a court during his studies for a mock trial full of nervous energy.

──────≪⊰✥⊱≫───────

To his credit, Sholmes was surprisingly focused and capable in his capacity as an officiator. Barok had to give him credit for that. The proceedings were conducted with an air of sobering warmth and not even a snicker at the 'til death do you part' section. Even the exchange of rings went off without a hitch.

It was all going so well, until––

"I now pronounce you Reaper and Spouse, you may now kiss the demigod."

Barok shot a fierce glare at Sholmes, but was quickly and completely distracted by his beloved's arms around him and their lips on his. He had to lift them up so that they could reach his mouth, but that was easily and readily achieved.

Finally they parted, Barok looking at his love in a delighted stupour, "... Well," he murmured after a few moments pause, "It seems we're now wed..."

"Yes," they replied, with a beaming smile and tears rolling down their cheeks, "And I couldn't be happier..."

It took him a moment to realise that his own eyes were glassy with tears as he looked down at his delighted love; his spouse, "Nor I... You have brought such light into my life, my beloved... it may sound trite, but it's true."

"I love you, Barok," they held him close while he returned the hold in kind; everything else melting into the background as he focused on the love of his life.

"I love you too..."

[3fluffies]

I struggled to wrap my mind around what was happening that day. Now I have trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that it’s been 20 years. The memories are still so vivid.

I was a 20-year-old intern in my Congresswoman’s office at the Cannon House Office Building right next to the U.S. Capitol, fulfilling every political science major’s dream. I was one week into the internship.

I remember the sound of our legislative director, Bob’s voice from watching CNN in our boss Karen’s office as fellow intern Orrin and I opened mail in the foyer, right about 9 am: “Oh my god, a plane hit the World Trade Center!”

It began far from us, just an awful event on the news that our Representatives would need to know about and react to, as we all wondering who had family/friends in NYC. We watched the broadcast a few minutes then went back to work.

I remember the pitch of Bob’s voice shouting about “another one”. I remember how we all stampeded back into Karen’s office. I remember my shoe falling off as we did and not going back for it. I remember the strange sensation of reality shifting, to see the replays of that second plane, recognizing what it meant. No accident. An attack on a scale our nation had never faced before.

I remember talking to Mum on the phone briefly, both of us just dismayed and worried at the implications.

I remember junior staffer Paula and I seeing a report of “smoke at the Pentagon” and half-joking: “You think?” Mentioning it to Bob and him shrugging it off, “Nah,” because there had been construction going on at the Pentagon.

Then another report of a “large plume of smoke and significant fire” at the Pentagon. Again, my sense of reality starting to shift a little and Paula and I calling out at the same time: “…Bob?”

I remember all cellphone signals jamming, then even the landlines jamming. Trying to reach any member of my family with no luck. For the first time in my life, my immediate family had completely separated only a few weeks earlier: @hazelhills to start her freshman year at college, me for my DC internship, Da for his new job in Oklahoma, and Mum back in Gainesville finishing up the move from our old house. My folks had been sad and stressed about it even before that day. As rumors swirled of a bomb at the State Department, a fire on the National Mall less than a mile away and as many as 6-8 planes missing, I knew my family had to be frantic.

I remember Karen arriving with more staff, one reporting confirmation that a plane had hit the Pentagon as she commuted to the Hill. I remember the crowds filling the streets as the Capitol itself evacuated, watching them stream past our second-story windows. First questions and discussion of whether we should evacuate, then Karen deciding we would head for her house a few miles away when reports came in of another plane headed our way. Figuring out who would ride in the few cars.

I remember riding in our chief of staff’s van, staring at the Capitol dome that I loved so much, wondering if I would see it explode with the impact of a jet like Tower Two had. I remember all traffic stopping hard at once at the sound of jets - fighter jets, scrambled to defend Washington.

I remember arriving at Karen’s shortly after 10 am and being appalled at all the smoke in NYC. Remarking that I couldn’t even see the Towers now, and hearing Karen’s voice: “They’re gone. They’re both gone.” Trying to grasp what she meant until the videos of the collapses played.

I remember seeing the Green Berets forming a staging area nearby, directly across the Potomac from the Pentagon and that massive, black smoke plume we could now see.

I remember eventually going home once the Metro reopened late that evening, and the dazed silence in the trains, all conversations murmured.

I remember the stories and shock among my fellow interns in the emergency program meeting The Washington Center held in our building. Then sitting alone in my bedroom, looking at my calendar and saying aloud several times, “September 11, 2001”, knowing this date would never be normal in living memory again. Labeling it in my journal as “the day the world came crashing down.”

I remember feeling patriotic and inspired by the unity in the days that followed, but disgusted by the ignorance, racism, and Islamophpbia. Believing at first that the “divisions” of the Clinton years had ended and Democrats and Republicans would now come together in response. Realizing more and more as time went by how wrong I was, as the Bush Administration seized on the tragedy to grasp and manipulate and destroy on whole new levels.

I remember my grief and anger as Karen was gerrymandered out of her district in 2002. Moving back to DC in 2003 and marching against the invasion of Iraq. Learning a classmate and friend had died in Iraq just before I started law school.

20 years of “war on terror.” The blood of thousands on our soil, the blood of millions on our hands. Bush, Obama, then Trump. The faith I once felt in our Constitution and our institutions faded to a dull echo of memory.

On January 6, 2021, watching the news from my law office in Florida, I did something that I hadn’t done on September 11, 2001: cried. Raged. Seeing the Republican Party achieve what even Bin Laden couldn’t - the penetration of our seat of government, waving hideous enemy flags and mocking our sacred halls.

On September 11, 2001, I watched the world spin so sudden and wildly off its axis, knew nothing would ever be the same, but vowed and believed with complete confidence that our attackers would not achieve their goal of a demoralized, broken America. In the 20 years since, in the gleeful opportunism, greed, and power lust of the Republican Party, the endless appeasement by the Democratic Party leadership, and the complacency and cheerful apathy of the center and the majority of the population, I’ve had to face the fact that those 9/11 attackers are closer to success than any American would have thought possible.

[arabellaaldous]

Teenage Dirtbag

scenario: "Teenage Dirtbag" by Wheatus. Armin is one of those quiet rocker boys in love with the football (American Soccer) captain's girlfriend.

Armin x OC

I will be posting the Armin x Reader version as well when I get this established.

Minors, DNI!

 Warnings: nsfw, mentions of toxic relationships, pining, IMMENSE FLUFF, substance use/abuse.

  My head was fogged over. I couldn't help but stare at her soft, silky legs as she stood near the field, her tight cheer shorts ridding up her thighs to sit in the divets beneath her hips.

 "Oi," Eren nudged my arm, damn near knocking me off of the bleachers. "The fuck you staring at?"

I attempted to hide my gaze, bringing my eyes to rest on my vans, but Eren had already followed my line of sight down to the football field. 

"Oh shit," he chuckled excitedly, "She's joined the cheer team? its the end of the year!"

"She broke her ankle last summer, remember? Now shut up," I grumbled, going back to burying my face in my chemistry homework. I didn't want to talk about it.

Eren just sighed heavily, retying his bun atop his head.

"I don't know why you even like her, everyone else is too scared to. Levi would kick your ass." he offered, discarding our science project altogether. I continued working out formula's and showing my work, making sure to get the credit I deserved for the assignment.

"I don't" I lied, flipping the page of my book, not bothering to give another glance his way.

"Pfff, sure," He scoffed, rising from his seat next to me. "If you don't like her, go talk to her. You have nothing to fear if you're not trying to fuck her!"

A hearty groan accompanied sigh slipped from my throat, as i now shot Eren a daggered stare.

"I'm not trying to fuck her, Eren," I informed my best friend. "It's not like that..."

"HA, you're in love with her?!" He laughed far too loudly. "You've not even met her!"

"Shut UP!!!" I snapped, standing to face him angrily. "Even if I did want to, it's not like I'd get the chance!"

Finally giving in, Eren raised his arms in surrender. "Fine, but when you go to prom on your own because you're stuck on the captain's girlfriend, I'm not gonna pity you.

With a heavy eye roll, I began placing my weighted books back in their bag, readying myself for my next class.

"Come on," I lent my head toward the school, "We've got sports after this."

My friend left his protests at the stands, walking with me toward the school. As we left, I took a quick glance back to the field, seeing her run toward the goal.

She was swept up in Levi's arms, the goalie spinning her around and planting a heavy kiss to her temple. My head snapped front, and I continued my walk. I would never get the chance to call her mine.

Get out of my head, Celine, I thought to myself.

~*~

Sports started just as it always did. We would file into the gymnasium, running until our teacher decided we were winded enough not to be heathens.

Connie and Jean ran along side Eren and myself, keeping a good jogging pace.

"I asked Sasha," Connie beamed, this being the big achievement he wouldn't shut up about.

"WE KNOW!!!" Our group chastised in unison.

"If you don't quit, I'll wring your scrawny neck!" Jean hissed, a fist raised toward our bald friend, "Prom is like three months away!"

"Jeez," Eren calmed Jean, "He's just excited! He was the last one to get a girl!"

My brows knit together as the three of my friends looked at me.

"I-I mean, besides you, Armin," Eren corrected.

"Yeah, thanks," I shot back.

"We just know you're not the type to go to dances," Jean piped up from his side.

"Or like, be social in general," Connie added.

I rolled my eyes, jogging ahead of the group of lads, catching up with Annie and Mikasa.

"They teasing you again?" Annie asked, a sharp glare thrown over her shoulder at the boys.

"It's just because they're dicks," Mikasa offered before I could answer. "You don't need a girlfriend to be happy."

"I know," I said, my breath now coming in ragged bursts. "It'd just be nice not to be the seventh wheel of the group."

" I knew I shouldn't've said yes when Eren asked me out," Annie said with a tinge of sadness. "I was your friend before I was his."

Finally the whistle blew and we all jogged to a halt before the teacher,

"No Annie," I patted her shoulder as we came to a stop, my lungs burning. I needed to lay off the kush.

"You two are great together," I assured her with a small smile. "I'll get a girl one day, don't worry about me."

"Alright, kids," Mr. Pixis said over all of the chatting teenagers, silencing us.

"Today is Friday, and as most of you know, that means dodgeball," an uproar came from the class, Eren, Jean, and Connie all joining in from behind us. I watched as a small smirk crept it's way onto both Annie and Mikasa's faces.

Even though they had a rough start, these girls were now the best of friends; but every now and again, they'd choose to stay on separate teams, just to beat the hell out of each other for fun.

I would join a team that needed strategy over brawn. I was always good with the logistics as opposed to the battle itself. Sure, I could throw a ball and hit a target, but not with the force Eren or even Reiner could. Not to mention the class powerhouse cousins, Mikasa and Levi.

Pixis began a lecture about how last Friday, we had two kids sent to hospital with broken bones. How you got broken bones in dodgeball, I had no clue. Yet, apparently the senior sports class is now notorious for weekly injury percentage.

My gaze wandered across the room, knowing exactly what he'd say. 'Be careful,' 'I'm looking at you Leonheart, Ackerman Two.'

Finally, my eyes landed on the white locks of Celine. She stood to the left of Reiner Braun, another one of the football players Levi hung around. Levi positioned himself on her other side, an arm slung over her shoulder.

He was so fucking short. Though she herself was tiny, I don't understand how Celine could deal with it. Little man syndrome was something I'd always hated in society.

Her teal eyes shone with hunger at the mention of letting us choose our own teams this week, and I smiled. She was so beautiful.

Just as I thought to look away, her eyes suddenly snapped toward me, returning the smile that had just as swiftly melted from my face. A small wave of her hand to me caused Levi to follow her gaze, connecting with mine.

His stoic look morphed into one that threatened my very existence if I didn't back down now. I instantly shifted my gaze to land on my shoes.

"Shut it!" Pixis hollered. "Yeager, Braun, you're captains."

Over the ensuing chaos, of Reiner Braun and Eren calling out names, the crowd surrounding them, I saw Celine Walk to Reiner's side, Eren choosing Mikasa when it was his turn. I was usually Eren's third pick, so I expected to be next. It was always our strategy. We needed Jean, the distraction, Mikasa, the sniper, and my, the coordinator. 

Eren was just Team Captain most times.

I heard my name called, but by the wrong voice.

"Arlert," Braun boomed, pointing a strong finger toward me, "You're with us."

My eyes went wide, shooting to my friends, who shared my bewilderment. I was never chosen to be on the elite team. If one of the football boys was captain, you knew their team would win. Why were they choosing me?

I hesitantly walked to the front of the group, standing next to Levi, who boxed Celine into Reiner.

The calling continued, much to my dismay. I shifted on my feet, leaning away from the black haired boy next to me. He not only stared me down, but turned to face me when he noticed Celine whispering to Reiner once again.

"You're lucky she chose you to be on our team," Ackerman snarled to me. "I would've knocked you into next century."

I gave a heavy gulp, and shied away once again.

He smirked, uncrossing his arms to drape one across his girlfriend's shoulders.

Finally, the teams had been assembled, and we were sent to opposite sides of the gym.

"Come here, Arlert," Annie chimed, welcoming me into the huddled circle our team had created.

"Alright," Celine's sweet voice rang quietly through the circle, my eyes catching on hers as she looked around us, "I knew Reiner is captain, but just like always, we're passing the title to Levi, he's the best commander he have. But I'm your chief strategist, so do as I say."

Annie nodded from my right, causing me to quickly follow suit.

"Yeager always has Brouse and Springer in the back, what do we do about that," Petra asked from my right.

"Berthold," Celine looked to the giant boy, "Think you can hit 'em from way up there?" 

A silent nod came from hoover, and Celine looked to Annie, Levi, and Reiner, a firm expression crossing her lips.

"You three have worked together before, yeah? Lacrosse?" She questioned.

All three nodded their response.

"You guys remember offence position five? I helped Levi adapt it for the football field, but the original will do now, got it?"

"Yes Ma'am," came an agreement from Renier. Annie simply nodded. Levi pointedly kissed her temple, eyes never leaving mine. He was taunting me.

The first spark of jealousy lit within me, causing me to look back to our strategist, who in turn now focused on Gunther.

"You follow suit and watch their backs. You're on defence," She said finally. She then turned to me.

"I want your opinion," She voiced sweetly. "Yeager is impulsive, and can be taken out easily. But we need to get Mikasa away from him. Annie isn't enough. What do we do?"

I was put so on the spot that my mind went blank for a moment. 'NO!' I screamed internally, slapping a hand to my brow and thinking hard.

"Uh, I guess- I mean..."

"Great, Celine, you picked a dud," Levi snapped.

"No," she said pointedly. "I have Arlert in my statistics class, he can work out anything. Just give him a minute."

Her words caused a heat to flash over my nose and ears, causing my brain to short once again.

"You could let me distract him," I offered, if only to give her an answer. "I can talk to him from the line. She won't think I'm any danger to him."

"Then you slip in and take him out, " Reiner added, giving me a quick smile. "You're right, kid's got game."

I didn't really think it was the best idea, but the group all nodded along with Reiner.

"You don't mind being out in the open like that? I'd watch your back until you get him where we need him," Y/n asked and assured.

I shook my head. "I can manage."

"Alright, you have your assignments," She said with a smile. "Now let's kick this kid's ass. Break!"

Everyone walked away from the circle, lining up along the wall below the basketball hoop. The other team faced us. I slipped in next to Annie,Celine coming to my other side.

"Uh, thanks for choosing me, I guess," I offered to Celine. With a soft smile, she waved me off. 

“I just didn’t want Levi to nail you,” She chuckled, causing me to blush a deep red. She had known he’d seen me. 

“I didn’t mean to, really, I was just-” 

“No, dude,” she once again waved my statement off with a small hand. “Levi is really possessive sometimes. I know he ‘s just looking out for me, but not everyone who looks at me deserves to get hit.” 

The sharp ring of the teacher’s whistle cut through the air, and the battle began. When I say battle, I mean Eren’s team and the fastest of my own comrades booking it toward the line of rubber balls in the middle of the gym. I thought they’d kill each other with the force in which they chucked the balls. 

Eren was watching on, commanding his troops from behind Sasha and Connie. MIkasa and Annie were already duking it out over the line, jumping, dodging, and rolling out of the way of each other’s strikes. 

Reiner and Berthold stood from the back of the gym, snagging balls out of the air, getting some of the underclassmen out. The Teacher watched from the sidelines, nodding in approval at the smack fest before him. 

I watched the scene unfolding, scared for each team as they pelted each other. Finally, Celine had once again come to my attention. 

“Let’s go, Levi and the others are in position,” She waved to me, scooting along the floor behind Berthold as he blocked her from view. 

I followed closely, trying as coolly as ever to walk through the flying rubber spheres. I was shocked into freezing when a ball careened toward my stomach. I was going to ruin the whole plan. 

Just as I was sure I was done, Berhold’s giant hand reached in front of me, and grabbed the ball. 

“You can do that one handed?” I questioned, watching him look over the red ball like it was only a ball of yarn someone had tossed him. 

“My hands are big,” His voice softly offered. 

“I can take him from here, Berty,” Celine smiled from his other side. “Go help Reiner!” 

The giant accepted her command, walking back easily. I peered to Celine, only now being a good two metres from the midline. 

“What do I do?” I asked nervously. 

“You got this, just get his attention,” She offered, snagging a ball from the ground and hiding behind me. 

I carefully threw one hand in the air, waving to Eren, his final body guard stalking the midline to my right, mirroring Annie.

I tried again, knowing he didn’t see me as he looked forward to see Jean take a hit to the groin, crumpling into a ball on the wooden floors. 

I looked back, seeing Berthold and Petra get nailed by Eld, Oruo sacrificing himself as Petra fell backwards. There were only four of us left, and Eren had Mikasa and Sasha left. It was now or never. Now, as Annie, Reiner and Levi defended our position from Mikasa, I caught Eren’s attention. 

“Come here!” I shouted over the loud bouncing of balls on walls. A loud smack came echoing around us, signaling Sasha was gone. 

Eren looked to Mikasa, seeing her taking on all three remaining opponents. Well, the three he saw. 

“What’s up,” He panted, jogging over and watching as Mikasa doged three balls at once. 

“I’m on Levi’s shit list,” I offered quietly. “Celine had told Reiner to pick me so Levi couldn’t hit me in the game.” 

“What?” He questioned, never taking his eyes off of his sister. 

“I was…” I stopped myself when I noticed Celine peeking out from behind me, ready to bash Eren in the face with a rubber ball. “Never mind.” 

A heavy thud sounded, and Eren fell to the ground. Mikasa’s neck snapped to face us. 

Her eyes, full of rage, landed on me, then Celine, who by this time, was doing a dance of victory next to me. Levi looked over too. 

As if time had slowed around me, I watched in slow motion as Mikasa turned on a dime, swinging her arm hard over her shoulder, releasing the ball in her hand. The rubber spun, whistling through the air as it headed toward Celine. 

Shit, I thought. 

Without thinking I took a step to the left just in time for the ball to connect hard with my jaw. 

I fell backwards, my skull bouncing off the floor. My vision went blurry, and my hearing went in and out. The rubber pang that resounded with an echo through the gym was sickening. She hit me hard. 

As I lay on the floor, a stark haired figure came to hover above me, shouting something at me. Another few heads joined the circle of vision that I could barely see. I felt myself slipping into sleep, eyes finally closing. 

It hadn’t felt like anything but a second before I was hit with ice cold water, causing a gasp to ring from my throat. I had almost bit my lip ring when I sat straight up, my cranium throbbing in pain. 

“Arlert?!” Celine grabbed my arm and cradled my head in her hand as she laid me back on the floor. “Why did you do that?!” 

My nose scrunched as I felt a sharp pain course through my eye, bringing my finger to assess the swollen skin. 

“Dude, you look like shit,” Eren chuckled. 

“I’m so sorry!!!” Mikasa cried, sliding to sit next to me across from Celine. “I didn’t mean to hit you!” 

I shook my head slowly. “It’s fine,” I looked to Celine, “Did you get hit?” 

“No,all thanks to you,” She sweetly chuckled, offering me a hand. Eren took my other and they both heaved me up to my feet. “I’m gonna ask again, why did you do that?” 

I shrugged, rubbing the back of my neck with a clammy palm. “I uh, You were gonna get hit so I-” 

“Hey, Arlert!” Levi called, sauntering over from the bleachers, Reiner and Eld following closely on his tail. 

With a grimace, he outstretched his hand forcefully, almost shoving it at me. 

“Thanks for blocking the hit,” He said. “It was a cool thing to do.” 

Eren nudged me forward, urging me to take his hand. I did. 

Levi pulled me to him, slapping a hand across my back in a manly hug. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I hated Levi. 

This dude had picked on me since I was in elementary school, and he was not one you’d call, ‘a chill dude’. He was uptight, and a perfectionist. Not to mention entitled and arrogant as hell. 

He squeezed me tightly, leaning up to whisper in my ear. 

“Lay off, or the whole team will kick your ass,” He threatened, pulling back with a cheery smile. 

I rubbed out the knot he’d forced into my palm, watching him walk Celine out of the gym. She gave a pearly smile and small wave before crossing the threshold. 

“Dude,” Connie stalked up to me, the rest of our group the only ones left in the gym, “She was all over you…” 

My face filled with blood, Mikasa coming to smile. 

“Maybe I should’ve hit you harder,” She chuckled. 

“She was pawing at you, bro,” Eren wrapped an arm around my shoulders, spreading a hand across the air in front of us as we walked. 

“Head on your chest, hands on your face! If you were awake, you would’ve died all over again!” 

“I didn’t kill him,” Mikasa said, causing me to bury my face in my hands as we all walked back to the locker rooms. 

“Just shoot me now anyway,” I groaned.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

the wolf should’ve been afraid of me.

Titans 3.04

just under the wire! ... i hope.

like with the previous review, i’m typing this up as i see the episode. here we go!

spoilers ahead.

1. ... well. that was an interesting cold open.

1.25. i don’t know whether to admire this show’s restraint when it comes to gotham and its excesses, particularly arkham asylum. it’d be easy to go hammer and tongs, like suicide squad (2016) did, or any number of bat media did, at a tropey, colourful~~insanity~~ that can be quite damaging, casting mental illness in strangeness and criminality. it definitely shows gotham as... separate from the rest of the country, its own ecosystem of heroes and villains, a sort of rogue state. 

but that ecosystem is still human, with its heroes needing to clip parts of themselves away just to survive, growing old and needing to be recycled, its villains languishing in the same kinds of systems that fail everybody else who needs to be helped. it’s a quieter, tenser sort of wrongness: not strange enough that you can dissociate, but not close enough that you can completely empathise. gotham is its own creature.

1.5. i know that the reasoning behind this is more doylist than anything, but i’m so glad that joker was killed off with little fanfare right at the start of the season. he is the one man in the batverse that’s transcended its confines as this sort of ethereal boogeyman/eternal edgelord and to justify his presence in the series would mean giving him this tired, overblown importance and too much of a stab at colourful, tropey “madness” in this otherwise-subdued series. i wish all batmedia would follow suit and get rid of this fucker.

1.75. so jason is bucking scarecrow’s control! or reminding him of who exactly holds all the cards right now. circling back to what i talked about in the last review, it’s remarkable just how little time it’s been since jason’s “death” and he’s already got ‘minions’ and elaborately set up plans to track, break and kill the titans. just how long has he been planning this? when did he first look at WE weapons prototypes and think that’s something i can use to blow somebody up? and the most unsettling question: did he plan his own death at the hands of the joker just so that he could break batman?

at this point it’s obvious that the scarecrow at least started jason down this path, but it’s frightening just how far he’s travelled already.

1.8. aaagh, less than one minute in! i’ll shut up. 

2. conner washing his hands at the sink reminds me that he was directly in the line of explosion when hank got blown up and he’s probably got atomised hank-bits all over his skin that he’s desperately trying to wash off.

... you’re welcome.

2.25. conner, don’t you speak to gar fucking logan like that, sir, no!

2.3. if anything it’s the lex part of him that gave him the knowhow to recognise the weapon and build a de-activator for it. 

anyway, for that ‘half-breed’ and ‘talking tiger’ comment?

(i wish, tho, that we actually see conner more interested in the superman part of his legacy, like maybe listening to stories from gar, or even better, dick, so we get a better idea of the pressure he’s feeling to live up to that part of him and not the part that’s lex.)

((i talked about conner’s stages of moral development in his introductory episode last season, but i wonder if the next stage of his self-actualisation would be to further integrate the parts of himself and realise that they are only parts and he, conner, is an entirely different person unto himself that can make decisions on how to use what he has and what he knows. his superman abilities can be used to destroy. his lex knowledge can be used to save.))

3. oh dawn :((

3.25. is this the last we see of dawn and hank? i mean, we know donna is coming back; would it be a stretch to think they’ll try to have a go at resurrecting hank as well?

3.5. “deathstroke didn’t make us into killers.” good, because deathstroke didn’t make jason a killer either. there’s a missing step there you need to be looking for, dick. 

3.75. dick did try to break the cycle, step away from gotham, run from the possibility that he could turn into batman. it didn’t help; he couldn’t fully withdraw from his vigilante persona the same time he loathed it, and batman literally haunted him both asleep and awake. but maybe gotham doesn’t have to turn anybody into anything. maybe gotham has nothing to do with it at all. it’s about taking responsibility, realising some sacrifices are pure bullshit, and building an actual family instead of merely a team.

anyway: hugs!

(oh, also? mr “i hate flying”? i mean, there’s perfectly valid reasons to hate flying that’s not related to childhood trauma, but then again, this guy was literally a ‘flying grayson’ once. also also, remember that he also gets sea-sick. must’ve a lot of fun stories to tell.)

4. ooh that gar/kory confrontation was brief but cool!

listen, i have never seen a psychiatrist with that extravagant an office and SIR I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW--

4.5. kory’s so unused to reaching out for help and it’s breaking my heart that HPG likely is some kind of impostor that’s maybe causing her symptoms in the first place. 

kory and dick have mostly been apart this season but it’s remarkable how their journeys have paralleled each other; kory processes her grief, isolation and existential dread into a determination to take care of this new family she has, no matter what it takes; dick does much the same, forging ahead with plans and solutions until he has no fuel left in him and spirals into a massive breakdown.

4.25. listen titans this really is a TERRIBLE continuity error. we aren’t goldfish; we can clearly remember that two minutes ago it was gar’s upper arm that was burned, not his forearm. COME ON.

“sensory deprivation tank” *SNORT*

anyway, gar is the BEST

4.5. i wonder where these visions of experimentation took place. was it on tamaran, or on earth, after she came to hunt down rachel/trigon and before she lost all her memories? is HPG a part of the scientist group that experimented on her? ... god, i hope not. i mean, i think he is, but it would be cool to have some positive therapist representation in media. 

5. you’d think the van transporting a dangerous supervillain that only batman could catch would be more secure but... i’m also not entirely surprised. 

5.15. i love dick gives ZERO shits about hiding himself or even ensuring scarecrow is adequately contained. just turns away after kidnapping him in BROAD DAYLIGHT and says ‘let’s go’. I LOVE THIS DUMBASS

6. lmao gar is having a really really shitty day SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK or just a goddamn story arc of his own

6.5. i’m really confused about the timeline here. so... sometime ago, kory came down to earth to hunt down trigon, yeah? at some further point down the line she and her sister were kidnapped and experimented on. THEN she somehow escapes but... loses her memory? a few months pass and then we see blackfire alive and well and free; she kills faddei, can impersonate other people, and is clearly seeking out kory. but now she’s still in the experiment facility...? what’s going on?

i’m not entirely surprised about the facility being mostly deserted. either the biggest investors in this project gave up on it and it was left to the most fanatic to carry on, or they were deliberately trying to lure kory and get her to free blackfire--expand the environs of the experiment, so to speak.

7. hopefully barbara is going to get something to do other than listen to various men give her Attitude

8. how do you terrorise a terrorist? well:

i love when dick is a scary-competent motherfucker.

8.25. ooooh, the attack on crane at arkham a ploy to get crane to blackgate? nice one dick, i didn’t even think of that. but why though? to protect crane from the titans? to intercept the van to blackgate and “rescue” him? seems likely--red hood was there, except dick got to crane quicker.

9. still reeeallly unclear about the komand’r situation. was komand’r captured after s2? is this all A TRAP?? if so, why are you stepping into the only thing that can contain you, kory????

9.25. so... definite parallels between dick/jason and kory/kom here. i’m just. i’m still. really confused. i’ll shut up now.

10. this may be my favourite dick look yet:

woodsman!dick in a beanie.

10.5. i unironically love how titans has made this bizarrely-devoted-to-his-moniker, toxin-spewing supervillain into a tamer version of hannibal, psychoanalysing his victims into submission. it’s of a piece with how inward looking titans is, the way all of its villains are obsessed with how our protagonists’ minds work, to the point where they would actually spend time inside of them. 

there are no big plots to end the world. no apocalypses or endgames here. these villains collect the titans’ insecurities like infinity stones. the way the titans defeat them is by achieving character growth--literally winning by the power of love. literally “the real superpower is the friends we made along the way”!

10.7. anyway, i’m betting dick is used to this bullshit from crane and is humouring him in the service of getting more information. the story about the wolf? an implicit threat, not to mention dick getting to control what crane knows about him and what methods he would use to manipulate him.

am i giving dick too much credit here? i don’t think so. he’s really impressed me so far this season.

10.75. like. there’s a real unreliable narrator vibe coming off with every person that talks about bruce (much like how the various members of the titans talked about jason’s motivations) and to buy into crane’s talk about bruce being a psychopath is to fall for the same manipulation that jason fell for. dick is the only person who hasn’t really psychoanalysed bruce this season, and i think some part of his detective brain is piecing things together into a bigger picture.

11. i’m glad kory rescued kom but did she have to kill the scientist?

(i mean, yeah, probably - the less people know that kom escaped the less likely they’re going to have the fucking govt on their doorstep, but still.)

11.5. dick’s gonna come back to wayne manor, stare straight at komand’r and go, well which room would you like? because the team might as well adopt ANOTHER person, yeah?

12. oh MAN that red hood/nightwing fight was AMAZING! and he did the thing! the boomerang escrima thing! i’m so delighted!

12.5. the anger and disbelief in dick’s voice when he says you told crane EVERYTHING?! tells me that he knew exactly what he was telling crane himself.

12.75. “everything you are is because of him” - oh that reminds me of halluci!bruce from last season. i hope we see halluci!bruce again--he is so vicious but so entertaining... so much more effective at tearing dick down than crane or jason combined. goes to show that dick’s biggest enemy is own fucking head.

12.8. oh no! dick’s shot! crane is in the wind with red hood! blackfire is now with the titans! i love it!

honestly this season’s pacing is such a big step up from the last couple. gold star, show.

[aplatonic-hagakure]

ffxiv for the blorbo meme

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

haurchefant my sun my moon my perpetually horny stars. hes the blorbo to end all blorbos he is the perfect man. i remember really liking him in heavensward and then i found out about his jp characterization and went through the five stages of grief. im normal now though. me and my husband were sticking together

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

i object to the "baby" but i. oogh. auughhbhh. graha tia -_- hes genuinely an earnest and kind and heroic guy but when he gets the uguu eyes out and does the wiggles i get the urge to put him in a box and shake it really hard. emotionally he is so shaped. if that doesnt make sense to you then good

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

idk about you but im a pleb who likes popular characters but if i had to pick a guy. aymeric. "how can he be underappreciated" he is underappreciated by SQUARE ENIX he has been trapped in his office for FOUR YEARS and they only let him out to miss the wols pianos recital and to get publicly pwned for having daddy issues. he needs enrichment. he needs to go on an ocean fishing trip with the wol and seeing something that isnt paperwork for an hour. this is a cry for help. for him. im normal

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

widargelt. job quests are dead so we will never see him again but im still a little shocked that he had nothing to do with stormblood msq at all. he wasnt even in endwalker bro where did he GO. COME BACK KING. GIVE ME THE LITERAL SWEAT SOAKED SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK AGAIN I MISS YOU. THEY GOT RID OF GREASED LIGHTNING STACKS WIDARGELT. OUR BROTHERHOOD

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

i like zenos in endwalker but he is neither poor, little, or a meow meow and also the idea of calling him that makes me break out in hives. hes just really really funny. my hot take is that he doesnt know what sex is and is disinterested in it and his thing with the wol is just because hes a freak.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

estinien because he makes it really easy. i am not above the low hanging fruit. i think he made a lot of horrible decisions post heavenward because he quit his job and left his entire social circle to end up penniless in kugane and get blackmailed by tiny little women and ended up travelling with GAIUS. OF ALL PEOPLE. its a moral imperative to get his ass

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

you know i thought they couldnt make a funny divorce man but they made gaius van baelsar so i have to applaud them for achieving the impossible. i wish that cute duskwight got to kill him but alas.

[intotherumiverse]

Chapter 1

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: I’m here again because this project is my child. I’ve added a lot and learned even more and I’m glad y’all are here to watch me develop On to the diggers <3 ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: blood, violence, pov changes  ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴᴇᴅ: @katsumiiii and @lilsparkyswife ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 1.9k 

The day I was first killed was tedious.  

When you’re raised in the Summer Court, certain traditions are found there. When you are five you receive your first dagger. I almost hit my lessons teacher in the eye with that little stunt I pulled. When you are 10 they start with basic strength, endurance, and speed training. I beat up Katsuki Bakugou for making fun of me that year. When you’re really curious, they take you up for assassination training. I was a prodigy at it…

I got so good in fact that I climbed the ranks at the young tender age of 18. Summer Court likes tradition, yes, but I was something unprecedented, unorthodox. Something bigger.

Working for the Summer Court had its perks, yes. This was one of them. As I walked among the snakes of the Autumn Court, I felt a curl of unease flow through me. Yvonne, the one who usually handles our information, said that our biggest client’s rival was supposed to be at the ball. As if that makes my life any easier. Everyone wanted someone from the Autumn Court dead. But no one wanted to be seen doing it. Looking at the throng of people, laughing and talking amongst themselves, I smirk slightly.

‘Autumn Court sure has a lot of balls.’ I thought to myself snidely. ‘ I wonder what they could be celebrating this time’ Before I had time to dwell on the thought any longer, the familiar voice of one of my good friends (not to mention on my team) Amira trickles through.

“Why does everyone in this Autumn Court look bummy?” The rude question isn’t uncommon for Amira, though I wish she chose her moments.

“You’re not supposed to say shit like that out loud!”Mina, another teammate (and good friend) jokes.

Stifling up a laugh, and not wanting to attract attention, I whisper back “If both of you don’t shut the fuck up...”

“This is why I don’t work with them” Yvonne sighs into the mic. She was the best informant Summer Court has ever had, and I was always grateful she was on my team. “They never take shit seriously.”

“Neither do you, Von, shut up!”

“Swear to Nyx if y’all don’t shut up, we can leave right now.”

“Fine…” they all chorus in my ear and I hear silence for the first time.

My eyes scan the crowd of people carefully, assessing each one before seeing my target. But before I could move into place, a flash of green appeared at the corner of my eye.

“Oh fuck no…”

I hated many things. The horrid smell of rotting flesh, bugs, failing my parents. But above all else, I hated a specific person. And if he’s here tonight…

Well, it would make my life harder.

Sighing softly, I weave slowly through the crowd, not letting the clammy bodies touch me. Eventually, I make my way down to the main floor. Making sure that my ears were covered, I attempted to get closer to the target, feeling for the poison that was in the many pockets of the dress.

I feel someone touch my shoulder lightly and it takes everything in me to not grab the person’s arm and twist it. Instead, I turn around slowly, facing to meet lavender eyes.

Fuck. Hitoshi Shinsou, Autumn Court’s Master Interrogator. If he was here, then…

“A dance m’lady?” He doesn’t seem to recognize me as he stoops into a low bow, eyes scanning my face

“Oh, he's kinda cute!” Mira whispers into the com.

“I haven’t seen you around before. Are you new?” His voice breaks through the mumble of the communicator.

“Well, I’m certainly not old.” That incites a chuckle from him.

“A lady with secrets, my favorite kind.” I scan the floor seeing the target get farther and farther away. I needed to get out of this situation and out of here.

“The dance?” I quirk my lips up into a smile.

And with that, we dance. He wasn’t a terrible dancer, spinning me ‘round the floor with a grace that only the Upper Ranks could achieve. I let myself get caught up in the dance, losing myself in the flow of the music.

“(Y/n). The mission” Yvonne’s voice echoes in my ear as I’m snapped back to reality. Right, the mission.

I suddenly pretended Shinsou stepped on my foot. Bending over in faux agony and forcing tears to come to my eyes, Shinsou fumbles at my pain. I feel a small pang of guilt, looking at his distressed face.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.” He leads me over to a small sitting area, not a far distance from my target. Watching Shinsou get lost in the crowd I make my move.

I walked over, inching closer and closer to my target. There was a glass of ale his hand was resting on, delicate fingers winding around the glass. Pulling a small pill from one of the many pockets of my dress, I place it carefully into the glass. Making my way back across the room, I watch as my target drinks the ale ‘till it’s empty to my original position.

‘Spring Court has its uses’, I thought smiling to myself.

“All right, This is an Upper-Rank Investigation!”

Oh, come the fuck on.  And right when I was leaving too.

A male voice rings out in the middle of the confused court members. I recognized that voice…

“(Y/n), get out of there!” Mina says into the communicator.   “Working on it.” Shit. Why were Upper-Rank boot lickers here? Shit, this was bad, I needed to get out of there.

I back away from the door slowly, trying not to bring attention to myself. A  hand came out and gripped the back of my arm.

“Where do you think you’re going, Summer Court scum” the hot and familiar voice of Shinsou rings in my ear. I grit my teeth, fearing to say anything due to their power.

He rips the comm from my ear, and upon hearing the cries from my friends, crushes it

“We have suspicion to believe that a Summer Court Assassin is here. Nobody moves, this will take a couple of minutes.”

And then I see him. The bane of my existence, everything in me sings in disgust and anger, as I try not to lunge at him. Izuku Midoriya. The heir to the Autumn throne. And my worst nightmare.

“No need,” Shinsou calls out, a smirk gracing his features. “I got ‘er right here”

His cold green eyes bore into me as he smiles. “There she is! My favorite assassin (Y/n)! It’s good to see you again honey.” His voice was like syrup, undoubtedly sticky and sweet. The heady sound of hypnosis.

“Seize her guards! We finally got the infamous (Y/n), top assassin of the Summer court.”  The guards move hesitantly like they were afraid. I hope so because they should be. Then everything happens all I once. I pull myself out of Shinsou’s grip, running towards the exit, which happens to be, in front of me.

“Lucky me,” I smile unsheathing the concealed daggers slipping them into my hands “Looks like the Prince brought me toys to play with.”

Oh, how I missed fighting. The rush of dodging and weaving never knowing if my next move is going to be my last. The feel of the blades in my hands as I cut down opponents, watching their terrified faces fall to the ground one by one. It fills me with so much strength knowing that I’m so much better than them.

And then my leg got nicked. The sharp sting of pain de-railing my train of thought.

“Fuck,” I yelled out loud as more soldiers descended upon me. They threw my daggers away from me first, restraining my wrists and upper arm for no movements. They forced me to my knees, and I look around at the now-empty ballroom. The heavy smell of iron and salt dancing in the air as the blood of the fallen soldiers surround me. I wasn't squeamish, but I didn't really want to ruin my dress.

Footsteps echo towards me, the clanking of boots reverbing in my head. A gloved hand grips my chin, forcing me to look up. Green eyes bore into mines. “Hi love,” Izuku smiles at my grimace at the nickname. “Quite a mess you’ve made of my soldiers. Now, look at the extra work you’ve given me. They were good people. Honest. And now-”

“None of us are honest,” I spit the words at him “You know that better than me.”

“Maybe I do and maybe I don’t. Now here’s the deal, pet. I will have to take you in now. You have made quite a name for yourself and have to turn you in. Nothing personal”

“With you? Everything’s personal.”

Letting go of my chin, Izuku stands once more.

“You might be right (Y/n). You’ll have a lot of time to reflect in your jail cell. Now sleep.” That was the last thing I heard before my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep.

Mira’s Pov

I rip the communicator from my ear in anger, slamming the tiny black device onto the table.

“Taking your anger out on our stuff isn’t going to make (Y/n) come back.”

I look over to the blank face of Von, rolling my eyes. (Y/n) got caught and by our intel (and the fact the Hitoshi Shinsou was there) were knew that the Autumn Court had taken her. And now the issue was how we were going to get her back.

“I mean,” Mina’s voice pops up, the small twinge of hope laced throughout her words. “Why can’t we just go in and take her back?”

“Because Summer isn’t really on good terms with Autumn”

“Are we really on good terms with anyone?” Summer Court’s standing had always been rocky with the others. We were always called the lowest, doing everyone’s dirty job, but in fact, we knew more about the other Courts than everyone else. People fear what they don’t understand and hate what they fear.

But these last few years, Autumn’s seemed to have a personal grudge with us. No one knew the exact details but it was something involving (Y/n) and the prince of Autumn.

“They’d kill us on the spot if they knew who we were” Von’s voice cuts in through my thoughts.

“But don’t they realize they kidnapped the princess? This is asking for war!” Mina was right. If (Y/n) got hurt it wouldn’t just be her parents that got mad.

“Who’s going to tell Bakugou?” I ask softly. The van is quiet as we all debated internally.

“Well, I’m not doing it. I actually like living and being here. You can fight it over if you two have a death wish.”

I shake my head at Von, signaling that I won’t do it either. Bakugou’s temper was infamous and when it comes to people he loves, there was no telling what he would do.

“Fuck y’all. Now I have to go deal with the dumbass wrecking ball. If I get hurt, y’all gonna pay Spring Court to heal me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you dodge fast enough, or you’ll actually get hurt.” Mina gives me a small smile in sympathy.

Sighing I head to the front of the car. We had to make it back before Autumn found us too. I’d never hear the end of it from the king if we also got caught.

And with that, we drive off, chaos awaiting us in the Summer Court.

onto the next chapter?

Taglist: @xetou @kunikida-kun @asaincy @ryuvanaka @katsumiiii @lilsparkyswife @katsumox @silkylious @inkwicke @myhoodacademia @mypimpademia @readergurl20 @angiebug101  @artof-apollo@namjoonswifeyy @moonlit-xio​

Crossed out means I couldn’t tag you ; Send an ask to be added >:D

[arctic-comet]

Osblaine week 2021, Day 2: Lyrics

Over the last several weeks, I have carefully curated a playlist for Osblaine. The final total length of the playlist is 2 hours and 53 minutes.

The playlist can be found HERE

Click "Keep Reading" if you're interested in the introduction, commentary, more graphics and the full tracklist.

For full disclosure, I have to give some of the credit to my amazing fellow Osblaine fangirls @dystopiandramaqueen, @splitscreen and everyone who participated in a certain conversation for the original inspiration and even bringing up some of the songs.

You should look at the playlist in five parts: one section for each season that's aired and one section for the future (because I like to end things on a hopeful note).

The playlist contains a lot of the following:

Music from movie and TV soundtracks

Instrumental music

Remixes

Classics and covers of classics

Country music. I blame Florida. My sincerest apologies.

Some of the songs were chosen because they reminded me of a certain Osblaine scene, and some of them aren't specific to particular scenes but chosen for the general Osblaine vibe. And most of the movie/TV music I chose have been used for couples that remind me of Nick and June.

Part I- Season 1, first 12 songs of the playlist:

Forbidden Love- Abel Korzeniowski, Jasper Randall, The Hollywood Studio Symphony (Romeo & Juliet)

Fireflies- Owl City

Echoes in Rain- Enya

My Ghost- Glass Pear (Bones)

Daring to Hope- Anne Dudley (Poldark)

Everytime We Touch- Cascada

1000 Times- Sara Bareilles

Too Good At Goodbyes- Sam Smith

In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt

To Find You- Cast of Sing Street, Brenock O’Connor

She- Elvis Costello (Notting Hill)

Miracle- Instrumental- Cö Shu Nie

Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse

Commentary:

The first instrumental song IMO works as an intro for their entire love story.

The next two songs are more about having the right vibe. It's a little ambiguous and dark because that's how their life is in Gilead.

Leave my door open just a crack

Please take me away from here

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac

Please take me away from here

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Please take me away from here

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

***

Wait for the sun

Watching the sky

Black as a crow

Night passes by

Taking the stars

So far away

Everything flows

Here comes another new day

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

***

"My Ghost" is June's POV before they sleep together, wondering if she can trust Nick:

Who can you trust, in this place?

And whom can I put my faith?

If you're real, then show me now,

Who you are

The last two songs are for episode 1x10, for both Nick’s reaction to June’s pregnancy and the beginning of her first escape attempt (arranged by Nick).

She may be the face I can't forget The trace of pleasure or regret May be my treasure or the price I have to pay She may be the song that summer sings Maybe the chill that autumn brings Maybe a hundred different things Within the measure of a day

Part II- Season 2, next 10 songs:

Love Will Keep Us Alive- Eagles

So Easy- Phillip Phillips

Incomplete- James Bay

Rewrite the Stars- The Piano Guys (The Greatest Showman)

I’ll Be Your Shelter- Taylor Dayne

Love Never Fails- Brandon Heath

P.S. I Love You- 05:11- John Powell (P.S. I Love You)

It's A Girl- Mychel Danna (The Time Traveler's Wife)

I'll Stand By You- Josh Groban, Helene Fischer

The Miracle of Love- Eurythmics

Commentary:

The first four songs cover June’s escape attempt and the time they share at the Boston Globe.

"Incomplete" is Nick's POV from when she's on the run and he knows she'll be gone from his life soon. He lives in the moment.

I don't wanna look down

I don't want us to break up in the clouds

All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now

"I'll Be Your Shelter" is for when June's mental health is at its lowest point and he goes to Serena to beg for her to get June help.

What you need is a friend to count on

What you got baby you got someone

Who will stay when the rain is fallin'

And won't let it fall on you

P.S. I Love You takes me back to episode 2.09, Nick’s selflessness in the episode and of course the scene where after telling June that Luke loves her, he tells her that he loves her too, despite believing she probably doesn’t feel the same way.

It's A Girl makes me think of the beautiful moment they share during June's false labor when he helps her out of the van and they climb the steps together.

I’ll Stand By You is for 2.10, Nick holding June after she was heartbroken over Hannah and over what the Waterfords did to her and clinging onto him.

Part III- Season 3, next 6 songs:

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close- Alexandre Desplat (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

All I Ask- Adele

Never Enough- Loren Allred (The Greatest Showman)

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever- Taylor Swift, ZAYN (Fifty Shades Darker)

Love is Gone- SLANDER, Dylan Matthew

Constellations- The Oh Hellos

Commentary:

For obvious reasons, it was extremely difficult to pick songs for this season.

The first (instrumental) song is for the beginning of the season with June coming back to the Waterford house and them then saying goodbye to each other on the street.

All I Ask, Never Enough, I Don't Wanna Live Forever and Love Is Gone are for their night together in June’s room at Lawrence’s (the one we didn’t get to see sigh). They know it's possible it's all they'll ever have, and they'll take it, but it'll never be enough.

I will leave my heart at the door I won't say a word They've all been said before, you know So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is

If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends 'Cause what if I never love again?

***

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

Never be enough

***

I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me

I know that your love is gone

I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy

Don't tell me that your love is gone

That your love is gone

"Constellations" is for their long separation and the doubts that I'm sure plagued them both during it. Would they ever see each other again?

Part IV- S4, next 12 songs:

All of Me- John Legend

(Everything I do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams

Iris- Natalie Taylor (City of Angels)

She Was Like A Bright Light- Hans Zimmer, Rupert Greyson-Williams (Winter’s Tale)

Noah's Last Letter- Aaron Zigman (The Notebook)

What’s In The Middle- the bird and the bee (Bones)

ivy- Taylor Swift

Footprints in the Sand- Leona Lewis

Remember Me (Lullaby)- Gael Garcia Bernal, Gabriella Flores (Coco)

On The Nature Of Daylight- Max Richter

My Heart Will Go On- Basil Jose (Titanic)

The Story- Sara Ramirez (Grey's Anatomy)

Commentary:

There were sooo many songs I wanted to include in part IV, but I controlled myself and ended up with this particular dozen.

"She Was Like A Bright Light" and "Noah’s Last Letter" are an instrumental double punch to the gut for Nick’s time in Gilead during episodes 4.07-4.09. The first one is meant for when he finds out June made it to Canada, and the 2nd for is for when he starts to gather info on Hannah to give to June.

"What’s in the Middle" and "ivy" are June’s POV of episodes 4.07-4.09.

"What's In The Middle" has more of an angry and confused vibe, and June was definitely both in episodes 7 and 8.

Losing your head is such a common theme

All your brains are falling out, falling out the open seams

Where is the heart, is the heart of the matter

I will empty out my skull of all this useless chatter

On the other hand, "ivy" has this haunted vibe, but there's also reverence and acceptance, which she begins to achieve in episode 9.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

The next three songs are of course all for their reunion in 4.09, and I couldn’t resist including the song that was actually played in the scene.

"The Story" draws the season to a close nicely, with June understanding that her current needs are different from what they used to be and that there’s someone who understands her completely (and it’s not Luke).

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you

Part V- Season 5 and Beyond, the last 6 songs

Secret Love Song- Little Mix, Jason Derulo

Burn With You- Lea Michele

The Bones- Maren Morris

Feels Like Home- Auli'i Carvalho, Keegan DeWitt

Love Will Find A Way- Piano Covers (Lion King II)

Like I'll Never Love You Again- Carrie Underwood

“Secret Love Song” is a more angsty tune about a love that’s still kept a secret like June and Nick’s love (as far as most people are concerned). Now that they’ve already made out in front of the man who raped and abused June and made Nick watch him do that, I want to believe they can let go of the secrecy in S5, at least when it comes to a few people.

I'm living for that day Someday Can I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we it be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that

***

“Bones” is about a relationship with a strong foundation, which IMO they do have. It will carry them in the future, too. They’re more into each other now than ever before and especially June is coming to terms with how strong that love is. They’ll weather any storm.

When the bones are good, the rest don't matter

Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter

Let it break 'cause you and I remain the same

When there ain't a crack in the foundation

Baby, I know any storm we're facing

Will blow right over while we stay put

The house don't fall when the bones are good

***

“Feels Like Home” is more hopeful. Their home is with each other and I hope that’s something that will be explored more in the future.

Take me, I'm ready

Go slow but go steady

To a place that we can call our own

I wanna know what feels like home

***

“Like I’ll Never Love You Again” is a good conclusion for the playlist. It’s hopeful and a testament to an epic love.

I wanna love you like the rain on a roof

Stronger than a bottle of a hundred ten proof

I wanna take love to places that love has never been

Yeah, I wanna love you like I'll never love you again

And I'll love you again

Oh, and again

[thesmpisonfire]

Okay, this accidentally got suuuuper long (and I forgot how to put "keep reading" in mobile) so skip if you don't want to read about Schlatt and Wilbur in the void

Good read if you want!

---------------×-------------

It felt like a sharp pain, then... There was nothing.

Not only the lack of surroundings, but the lack of feelings, memories, pain, and himself.

Then, it came all of sudden. The drug van. The ambush. The betrayal. The bow. And then nothing.

Schlatt was floating around in the void, his mind clear for the first time since he trapped himself in a one by one room to escape from lava. That was the beginning of that mess, the feeling that he could win and beat all the odds, even if he needed to sacrifice someone in the process. You can tell it was like a parasite, growing bigger, but also taking something out from the ram.

He felt remorse for the first time, not only because he was dead, but because he never said sorry to Wilbur for that, or for exiling him, or for setting a war, or for... Oh my, Schlatt was really a bad friend.

At the beginning, he really liked L'manburg. Without that parasite in his brain, messing with his thoughts, Schlatt could see that he enjoyed the place. He enjoyed taking the walls down and changing the name. It felt like a good thing to do. He enjoyed his cabinet, Quackity, Tubbo and Fundy made a good job at first.

He sighed as he thought about those three. Schlatt thought he could trust all of them. Tubbo's betrayal was too much for him to maintain his facade. His sickness was taking over him, making easier to trap the kid and order his death. At every betrayal, the fear of losing his spot only made him more paranoic and sick, revealing a side he tried to keep in control for so long. A side that was his all along.

Schlatt only felt disappointment when he remembered the White House episode, ignoring Quackity's pleads as he destroyed it. The vice president had all the rights in killing him, Schlatt was a fuckin dick.

Fundy... It was a shock, honestly. Schlatt thought that, at least, the fox would be with him. That's why he snapped, hitting him with a broken bottle as the parasite took over everything. Schlatt wasn't even thinking anymore, spitting his venon to all the people that betrayed him. Fundy was a coward, Quackity would always be Flatty Patty.

Schlatt even had his final vengeance over Tommy, not even letting the kid do justice with his own hands as the disease got to his heart and mind, the worried looks not being seen as Schlatt bended over to cough, not being able even to listen to the calls.

And then... He was at the void.

Something, deep down, wanted to go back. To respawn and live again. But, as Schlatt thought about it, he decided to give up. He didn't want to go back and face the consequences of his own actions

He watched a colorful fog leave his body, suddenly feeling so cold. His suit was gone with the fog, leaving him with a bright blue jumper. Schlatt smiled to himself, he always loved that sweater. The fog hovered around, and then it was gone.

Schlatt knew that this was the end. No more respawns for him. He gave up life in order to be free in this peaceful place. Surely, he would think about all his life and achievements, but its not like he didn't enjoyed being a businessman. His life was good... If not for the part he discovered he was a monster deep inside and gave an entirety country PTSD.

Someone joined Schlatt, who turned his head to see Wilbur. "Heyyy" Schlatt called, getting his attention.

"Heyyy... Just pressed the button." He chuckled, spinning around.

"What?? You fuckin madman, you really did it!?" Schlatt was surprised, a half smile in his face.

"Yep. Right after Tubbo got nominated as the president." Wilbur kinda layed on nothing, not seeing surprised by the emptiness.

"Tubbo as the president?? Wow..." Schlatt thought to himself about it... And yes! Tubbo would make a good president. "Proud of the boy"

"He is the president of a crater now" Wilbur laughed this time. "At least I got to see the destruction... Right before Philza killed me."

"Philza? Like The Philza? Philza Minecraft?" Wilbur nodded. "Yikes, man..."

They enjoyed the silence for a while, appreciating each other's company for the first time in years.

"So... Are you going back?" Schlatt heard Wilbur's question, then shaked his head. "Nice, neither am I."

Schlatt asked why, lightly kicking Wilbur and making him spin. "My time there was gone, I died like I wanted. In a big spectacle!" Wilbur's smile now seemed sad, like he finally proceeded what he had truly done. "You are such a showman..." Schlatt half smiled, remembering their time back in SMPLive, another land dammed to fall.

They watched as the colorful fog came out from Wilbur's body, taking away his trenchcoat and leaving him with an old yellow sweater and jeans. All color from Wilbur's body was also gone, Schlatt now noticing that his hooves weren't a darw brown anymore, and his fur looked even whiter.

Now, there was no way back. No more chances for them.

Wilbur got slightly uncomfortable, boredom filling his brain. He looked at Schlatt, who was so different from the sick man he saw die in that van, and grabbed his arm. He smiled a little, now noticing how much he missed J. Schlatt.

"Wanna go up there and see how much we can mess?"

Schlatt laughed, floating up and taking Wilbur with him.

"I thought you were never going to ask, lover boy."