i went to a fashion show today for one of my old mentees and baby… i don’t miss that scene at all. his showcase was great! he did an amazing job with his recent collection. that wasn’t the issue. that whole backstage life i really don’t miss. too fast paced. too much noise. i just was ready to go. i feel like i just got off a rollercoaster. i don’t wanna do that again.
“When my skin feels like a barrier between /Everything else in this universe and me / Then I try to remember / That there may very well be a link between us / That I can't see / Something underneath the surface / Buried / In among the weeds.”
ID: A watercolor painting outlined with ballpoint pen of a human heart. The heart has been colored brown, and the arteries have been drawn as the caps of Armillaria Ostoyae, a brown mushroom with speckled caps. the veins running over the chambers of the heart are dark brown. The painting has been titled, “Armillaria Ostoyae”.
Art that I made for @narcissistcookbook , who I saw in the flesh tonight :) they and their audience were very cool, soaring over the (low) bar set by the only other concert I have ever been to.
highlights from androgyny (2005) an indie doc on placebo (paraphrased bc i have shit memory)
"when you look at brian you dont think 'oh hes a student oh his mum is going to give him a sweater for christmas' you look at him and you think hes so short but he is rockstar material" - their old producer or something
brian wearing frilly victorian blouses with a leather coat in pre-placebo london days
brian writing directing and performing in an autobiographical play in uni where he was (if his professors recall correctly) a transgender man brian molko transmasc icon Confirmed
in that same play he strips naked (being the only one to actually do so despite many students threatening to do the same)
a gay magazine journalist calling brett anderson and david bowie fake bisexuals but saying that brian seemed like the real deal because he was interesting
a LOT of bowie slander (primarily from the gay mag journalist)
steves former bandmate seeing him at the set of velvet goldmine and thinking hes a prostitute before realizing it was him 😭
the weirdest least placebo looking title card youve ever seen with the worst music over it. #graphicdesignismypassion
their biographer saying that theyll only get the respect from the uk media they deserve if they break up or if one of them dies (BOOO)
I know I talk a big game about jolly needing a good girl but I think. He would appreciate a hellraiser just as much :-/ he has a Gemini Venus I mean he likes duality yknow?? So yeah maybe when you get home you’re the goodest girl for him, but when y’all are out it’s literally a trainwreck. You say you’re going to the bathroom at a bar and come back with bloody knuckles and everyone is like “??????” And you shrug and say “idk some guy looked at me funny” and take a shot hehehehe you’re chaotic suggestion maker number one okay jolly is like “idk Noah’s being a diva today-“ and you’re like “let’s shave his head?” And jolly is like “baby nO-“ but you’re pretty consistently like “baby YES” <elmo in hell gif> HAHAHAHAHA yeah you pop off with some fuck shit often and jolly “revokes” your speaking privileges for the night like it’s always a sex joke (when is it not) and it’s always waaaaaay more information than anyone needs and both nicks are cackling, Noah looks horrified, jolly is like “mhm yep there goes your speaking privileges for the night! Silence for you älskling!” Maybe I should be the chaotic neutral in his life
i cannot fucking wait for my next concert, im seeing so many of my favourite bands this spring (dying fetus, 200 stab wounds, sanguisugabogg, peeling flesh, 1349, spectral wound, ect!)
i saw cattle decapitation in december for the 2nd time and got to meet the band and have a picture with them, and ugh, i can go on and on about how the metal community saved me in so many different ways.
funnily enough, the metal scene helps my nonhumanity a lot. it's one of the only places i can go and truly let out every single animalistic feeling i have whether it being in the pit, or just screaming, yelling, and growling all night long and nobody bats an eye.
i love the feeling i get post-concert when im on the metro, i smell like sweat and beer, covered in bruises, sometimes blood, and all-around just looking disgusting. it's one of the most freeing feelings.
its like for once in a blue moon i can finally let go of this disguise and stop masking who i am for a few hours in public and blend right in because there's humans in the same vicinity as me doing the exact same things.