#the walk from the bus stop home was more tiring than the whole class

[immortalsins]

once again tried out jiujitsu in the hopes i’d like it this time. the place didn’t seem as cult-y as some of the others (gracie barra looking at you) but this guy did say smth along the lines of ‘you’ll 100% be indoctrinated into the bjj life’ in all seriousness whilst seatbelt gripping me

[mattscoquette]

𝑰𝑻'𝑺 𝑨 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬/𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮 - 𝑭𝑰𝑽𝑬 | 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶

𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉..a quiet introverted girl attempts to befriend her popular neighbor

cursing, very very slight mentions of a panic attack, mentions of kissing, mentions of drinking

3.2k words

introduction 1 2 3 4 6 7

addilyn richardson,

had been absolutely grinding out this science project. she and matt had been working together a little more than a week, and were currently five days away from its due date. not only did they have to create the marble run, but they had to also complete a five page packet along with it, and present their project together in front of the class. addilyn was sitting across from matt, hunched over her worksheet as matt glued pieces of the project together.

“it’s getting kind of late, addy, why don’t we pick up tomorrow?” matt suggested to her. she looked up at him with tired eyes. since that one weird night the previous week, matt had starting acting nicer. at first it started with matt inviting addilyn out to lunch after the hockey game. then he started saying hi to her in science. the absolute cherry on top was when he offered her a ride yesterday morning.

addilyn walked outside, instantly being met with the brisk morning air. boston winters were hardcore, and the heavy wind was only making it worse. wrapping her coat around her frame tighter, addilyn braced herself for the walk up the block to wait for the bus. she walked down the driveway, stopping when she heard her name being called. she looked up as matt walked over to her. he was bundled up in a north face jacket, a pink tint across his cheeks and nose as he shivered.

“it’s too cold for you to walk addy, let me give you a ride.” that was the first time he called her addy. at first, he wouldn’t even call her by her name, only saying things like “tell her to do this” to his brothers if they were around. if they weren’t, then he’d call her addilyn, saying it always with an annoyed tone. but today he called her by her nickname, and it made her heart skip a beat. he offered her a soft smile and she returned it, nodding quickly. she climbed into the back seat next to nick, chatting with him the whole way to school.

she looked over at the clock the sat above the stove. it was 9:45, but she was determined to get more of this assignment done. she only lived next door, after all, and she needed to make sure they got a perfect score on their project. “i’m okay matt, i think i just need a quick break.”

he nodded, offering her a water, and let her excuse herself to go into nick’s room. nick was sat atop his bed, scrolling on his phone when she walked in.

“hey girl,” he smiled at her, “how’s it going out there?”

“okay, i think.” she yawned, stretching her arms and legs out. they’d been working since they got home from school, only taking a short break a few hours ago when chris came barging into the kitchen, asking matt to drive him to get food. “i’m a little tired, though.”

“yeah it’s late, you leaving soon?” nick asked.

addilyn shrugged. “we still have more we need to do. i’m okay going home a little late. the walk isn’t far.”

nick laughed. “why don’t you come sit? we can take a break and watch a quick episode of rupaul or something.”

the tired girl nodded, sitting down next to nick. he got up momentarily to switch off his overhead lights, turning on the soft fairy lights above his bed instead. he climbed back into his bed next to addilyn, turning on the t.v. at a low volume. the change in ambiance of nick’s bedroom made addilyn all-the-more tired, and she rested his head onto his shoulder.

resting my eyes for five minutes won’t hurt, right? she thought as she closed her eyes.

*₊˚ 𓂃✧

both addilyn and nick jolted awake about an hour later to the sound of matt pounding on the door. he’d gone on his phone when addilyn was in nick’s room, not noticing how much time had gone by until chris came down to say goodnight.

addilyn sat up, shaking nick to also get up, and walked over to the door to let matt in. she took in the sight in front of her. his hair was messy, as per usual, and he’d switched out his pair of blue jeans from earlier to a pair of red and black plaid pajama pants. he wore a grey hoodie with his school’s logo on the front, a number 4 on the side of his sleeve underneath his last name. he looked good. “sorry,” he apologized quickly, realizing how loud his knocking was.

“what time is it?” they both heard nick call out from the bed, sitting up to turn off the show they fell asleep watching.

“almost 11:30,” matt replied, looking at nick. he turned back to addilyn “i packed all your stuff up, i didn’t think you’d wanna get back to work.”

she smiled, thanking him for the gesture, as she felt a knot in her stomach. she’d been feeling that a lot around matt lately and she didn’t know why. maybe it was because he was acting nice. or maybe it’s because in the week she’s spent with him, she’d realized she was maybe starting to catch feelings.

it was a monday night, and addilyn was over at matt’s to work on the project. he was wearing a navy blue hoodie that made his eyes look even more blue, and he was currently laughing at an anecdote addilyn was telling him. she smiled brightly at him, laughing along with the boy.

he took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, immediately breaking out into laughter again as he looked up and met her eyes.

his laugh is so cute, she thought. she looked down at her lap away from matt, trying to push her thoughts into the back of her head.

“you’re really funny, addilyn,” matt told her softly, wiping tears from his eyes. she looked over to him to find him already staring at her.

she looked at his face, trying to read it. she wasn’t the type to normally confuse niceness with having a crush on someone, but something with matt felt different. when nick or chris talked to her, she didn’t get dizzy when they would smile at her, or accidentally brush hands. but she felt it all with matt.

“what are you looking at?” he smiled, leaning forward across the table slightly as his eyes flicked between both of hers. she could’ve sworn he glanced at her lips.

addilyn was feeling bold. “you.” she replied.

he shook his head, smiling softly, and then leaning back against his chair. “we should get back to work.”

“addy,” nick said from his bed, breaking addilyn away from her thoughts. she blinked up at matt as he smiled down at her.

there’s that feeling again.

“do you wanna spend the night? i know you only live next door but i feel bad making you walk back over so late.” nick asked her, walking over to where she was.

“are you sure?” she breathed, “i feel bad.”

“don’t,” nick replied, “i have pajama bottoms and a hoodie you can wear. it’s no problem really.” he smiled kindly at her. she broke her gaze away from matt, looking to nick.

“okay,” she nodded, “i’ll let my mom know.”

addilyn turned back to look at matt. “i’ll go get you your backpack and stuff,” he told her softly, “wait here.”

“i got it, don’t worry.” she told him, brushing past him in the door way as he looked at her go. she heard footsteps trailing behind her. she turned around to find matt following her into the kitchen.

“i need to get my stuff too.” he told her. she nodded softly, trying to keep her cool and act normal.

they made their way to the table, matt collecting all of his belonging he left out on the table. addilyn’s notes and books were all packed away neatly in her bag, which matt had left on the chair for her. she offered to help matt clean, but he just smiled at her.

“i can do it, you go to bed, you worked too hard today.” he laughed, handing her bag to her. his fingers brushed against hers, lingering there for just a second. she felt her cheeks heat up as she took the bag. she looked down at her feet, knowing for sure her face was a bright crimson color. suddenly the room in the air felt thick, and she became hyper aware of matt’s presence in front of her. was he standing this close the entire time? she looked up at him, to find him already looking at her.

“goodnight matt.” she whispered, afraid if she spoke any louder it would break the atmosphere around them. he was standing so close to her, she wondered if he was able to hear her heart beating out of her chest. a smile ghosted across his face, and for half of a second addilyn thought he would lean down and kiss her.

he didn’t, though, only softly replying “goodnight addy.”

she turned on her heel, making her way back into nicks room quickly. she found a pair of fuzzy pajama bottoms and a large hoodie folded neatly on nick’s bed, where he was sat. “you can go change in the bathroom, i left a spare toothbrush in there for you too.”

she thanked him, collecting the clothes and walking into the bathroom. she changed quickly, then paused to look at herself in the mirror as she began brushing her teeth. did matt even like her, or was he only acting this way because she was friends with his brothers? that had to have been the reason. there was no way he felt the same about her. but she couldn't help but think about the way he was looking at her in the kitchen, and how his hand lingered over hers. she sighed, turning off the water and going back into nick’s room. he was already under the blankets, lights off, and scrolling on his phone. he turned it off, turning to face her as addilyn got into the bed.

“our first sleepover,” nick sang, “this is so fun!”

addilyn laughed, making herself comfortable. she loved being friends with nick. they’d only been hanging out for less than two weeks, but they both connected so easily with one another. they both understood one another, and enjoyed the company of each other. nick loved having someone other than his brothers or his teammates to talk to, and addilyn just loved having someone to talk to. “i know.”

despite how tired the girl was when she entered the room, the two teenagers were suddenly wide awake, talking about anything and everything with one another.

“if you had to fight any animal with your bare hands, what would you fight?” nick asked, staring at the ceiling.

“what?” addilyn laughed, looking over at him.

the later and later it got, the more and more they opened up. it was currently 1:30 in the morning, and they were both deep in conversation about nick’s coming out.

“i can’t believe i thought i liked my friend when it was really her boyfriend i liked.” nick told her.

addilyn shook her head. “yeah, that’s kinda crazy.”

“have you ever liked one of your friends?” nick asked, sitting up slightly. she looked up at him, thinking.

she hadn’t had many friends her whole life. she had a couple close people that she’d talk to in class, but never close enough to ever hang out with or talk to outside of school. the only people she talked to outside of school were nick and chris. her mind suddenly went to matt. “i don’t think i have.”

“really?” nick asked her in disbelief. “you’ve never thought someone you hung out with was cute or anything?”

matt.

“no.”

“addy, come on, there’s no way.” nick sighed, laying back down.

“well, maybe.” she felt her voice trail off. she couldn’t tell nick. she wasn’t even sure for herself if she liked matt or if she was just confused. he and chris were the closest thing addilyn had to real friends, and she didn’t want to throw it all away by telling nick she caught feelings for his brother.

“oh my god, tell me!” nick whisper-shouted in excitement, sitting back up again. addilyn laughed and shook her head.

“okay, okay, let me guess.” nick offered, thinking about the boys in the classes they shared together. “david, from art?” addilyn shook her had no.

“liam?” he tried again. she shook her head once more. nick named just about every boy in their class, even began to name random people addilyn didn’t even know that well.

“do i know him?” nick asked.

“yeah,” she breathed quietly.

nick looked at her inquisitively. “it’s not chris, is it?”

“no, no way.” addilyn shook her head. “he’s just my friend, i promise.”

nick looked at her once more, as if he looked hard enough he'd be able to read her mind. he paused, silence falling over the both of them.

his eyes went wide. “matt?”

addilyn stayed quiet. she opened her mouth, then closed it. she couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud.

“addy,” nick said, “do you like matt?”

“i don’t know.” she whispered, turning away from him. he sat up to meet her eyes. “maybe.” he gave her a look once more. “yes.”

she braced herself for the anger. the disappointment. something. but nick just smiled at her. “that’s so exciting!”

she looked at him dumbfounded. “what?”

“i’m serious,” nick started, “you’re so fun to be around, there’s no way he doesn’t like you back. i’ve noticed he’s been acting nicer to you.”

addilyn continued looking at nick like he was crazy. “there’s no way.” she laughed, pulling the covers over herself. “i’m tired, nick, i’m going to bed.”

he laughed, wishing her a goodnight, assuring her once again he didn’t care if she liked his brother, and that he was happy for her. soon after, she heard his soft snores, singling he was asleep. addilyn, however, continued to lay awake, thinking about what she told nick. she couldn’t believe herself, normally she would keep her feelings in, but something in her was off. she wasn’t even sure why she liked matt so much. she barely even knew him, and he didn’t start acting nice to her until a week into their project. it was a small crush, it meant nothing. it wasn’t worth risking her friendship for. she suddenly felt her chest tighten and the instant feeling like she couldn’t breathe. she closed her eyes as the air around her grew thick.

you’re fine. she told herself. nick isn’t mad. you can tell him tomorrow you were kidding. everything will be normal again after the project is done.

she glanced over at nick, making sure he was asleep before she slipped out of bed. she couldn’t lay in her friend's room any longer knowing matt was only down the hall. she softly tore a piece of paper, writing nick a quick note, praying he wouldn’t wake in the middle of the night, and would only see it when he woke up in the morning.

went home to shower and change before school, see you in art!

<3 addy

*₊˚ 𓂃✧

matthew sturniolo,

slept for maybe three hours that night. he couldn’t sleep in his room knowing addilyn was only down the hall. he kept replaying the way their hands brushed as he gave her the backpack earlier.

he felt his fingers lightly graze hers as he passed her the bag. he let them linger for a moment, hoping she wouldn’t notice. she looked down at her feet quickly, taking the bag from matt. their bodies were nearly pressed up against one another. all he wanted was for her to look at him. as if she read his mind, she looked up with a shy smile across her crimson red face. he so badly wanted to close the small gap between them and smash his lips against hers. he didn’t though, only whispering a soft goodnight as he watch her go into nicks room.

he hadn’t stopped thinking of her since his dream. he was obsessed with everything she did. the way she’d twirl her pencil between her pointer and thumb, or the way her brows furrowed as she read. he kept trying to distract himself as he thought about her.

matt had known who she was for a long time, despite addilyn being an “always in the background” kind of person. but the second she stepped foot in his kitchen that day she came over for dinner with her family, he knew it was over.

matt was in the kitchen with chris and nick, arguing about something dumb when she got there. he opened his mouth to say something back to chris, when nick nudged him altering him they had company. matt looked up at addilyn as she stood shyly in the kitchen. chris walked over to introduce himself as matt just started at her. she wore a white cotton dress that hugged her in all the right places, and beat up white chuck taylor’s. matt knew exactly who she was, but he didn’t remember her always looking this pretty.

“i’m chris,” his brother said, sticking out his hand.

she replied to him so softly matt barely heard her. “addilyn.” her voice sounded like honey. matt just looked at her again, before deciding to open his mouth and say “i can’t hear her.”

as matt laid in bed, he stared out his window into her empty bedroom thinking about why he was so mean to her. maybe it was because he liked her the whole time and didn’t want to admit it. sure, she was beautiful, but she wasn’t the kind of girl matt would typically go for. that’s why he was so attracted to her. she was so unlike anyone he’d been with. any girl he’s ever met at a party had been the same. they all seemed to have had the same lives, matt would listen to them talk, then he would tell about himself. that he’s a triplet and he plays hockey and lacrosse with his brothers. that he’s lived in boston his whole life and he loved the outdoors. and that’s how it went every time.

addilyn was different. she didn’t care he was popular, or that he played sports. she was just her normal, quiet, typical self. she wasn’t throwing herself at him, and matt saw her as somewhat unattainable. matt often mistook his attraction to her for a disliking. he felt so guilty about it, but he thought if he was mean, she’d leave him alone and wouldn’t try to get with him. he mentally cursed himself for acting the way he does. if she was already out of his reach, why would he try to drive her even further away?

but that dream he had fucked him up bad. every night since then, he’s thought about it. how soft her hands felt in his, how delicate her voice spoke. how good she kissed him. he wondered if she’d ever kissed a boy before. he secretly hoped she hadn’t, he wanted to be her first. he’d be gentle with her, not rushing her into anything. he’s kissed girls before, but it was always drunk at some party. he never actually liked the girls he kissed, he just wanted them in the moment. and when the moment was over, he went back to his friends and did whatever he was doing before. but addilyn was different, he wanted to kiss her anywhere he could, not just while he was drinking at some random's party.

the light in addilyn’s room turned on, snapping matt out of his daydream. he saw her walk into her room wearing nicks pajamas, walking over to her blinds to close them. he was confused why she walked home, but let it slip his mind. although he knew she couldn’t see him that well, he pretended to sleep anyway knowing she would look into his room. had he not closed his eyes, he would’ve seen the lingering look addilyn gave into his room before she closed her blinds.

© mattscoquette

𝐚/𝐧: thank u so so much for 170 followers <333 the fact u guys r liking this series warms my heart so much bc i was SO nervous to post. this story only has two parts left after this :( that being said, my reqs are open if anyone wants to leave anything b/c i'm not planning on writing anymore stories atm so i have more time to write little oneshots or hcs or whatever, just lmk! as always if anyone wants to join my taglist pls lmk and i hope u all enjoy:)

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @alorsxsturn @sturniolossss @cammie4298 @bussybandit1 @amorttentia @franticroads @sturnsssbow @cams5sos @strombolilovr @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @mattscurlygirly @simply-a-simper @sturnrc @sturnifyed @freshlovie

[dirtytransmasc]

Spider and Tuk being the bestest siblings ever and spider being the mvp big brother we all know he is hc's (modern + adopted spi au addition):

Before he could drive he would wait at Tuk's bus stop to get her off the bus. He insisted on doing it to "ease the workload on his parents" (since with Jake and Neytiri's work schedule, Tuk would have to go to an afterschool program and someone would have to pick her up) which it does, but it was really cause he liked to have the quality time with Tuk.

On their walk home he would ask her about school. He asks about what she did, if she brought anything home she wanted to show him (normally stuff from art class), if she did anything special or fun, that sort of stuff. He also stays up to date on her school gossip and makes sure no one's bothering his baby sis.

They hold hands the whole walk home, and more often than not he ends up carrying her or her bag for her.

Once he gets his license he picks her up from school and fills the 45 minute-ish time she would have normally spent on the bus and walking home at the park or getting ice cream or something else of the like.

When they get home he makes sure to look at anything she brought home. All the cool stuff first; art, school work she's proud of, a pretty pebble, or the occasional half wilted flower from the recess field. He makes sure to give all the praise and compliments possible, especially to the art and school work, cause he's supporting those skills early. Then he makes sure he gets all the homework, permission slips, things like that.

When his siblings ask why he does it, he says, "Who's gonna ask her to see what she drew during recess? Who's gonna ask if she did anything fun with her best friend? Who's gonna make sure she's not left out of the loop? We're a busy family, I don't want her getting left out just cause she's little, I'll ask, I like doing it anyway" he knows his family's busy, he knows Tuk tends to fall to the background cause she's the youngest, and that Jake and Neytiri are busy trying to keep them all afloat, so he takes care of Tuk.

He helps her with her homework and never raises his voice or gets frustrated. He sits next to her and they figure it out together.

He's always proud of her, even for the little things, so he's always giving her hugs and kissing her hair and other classic big brother things.

More often than not, Spider puts Tuk to bed. Either Jake and Neytiri give up trying to tame the "cranky banshee" (what Spider call her when she's tired) of a child and call Spider in, or she asks for him. He'll lay down next to her and pull her close and tell her stories until she gets sleepy and cuddled into him. Only then does he pull out the "put'em to sleep" combo, as he calls it; he hum to her (he hums "a la nanita na", like his mama used to hum to him, fight me) while rubbing her back with one hand and plays with her braids with the other. She's out like a light in a few minutes every time.

He often refers to her as a little banshee whenever she's being feisty or especially energetic.

There was an almost 2 month streak where Tuk would only sleep if Spider stayed in her room for the night or if she was in Spider's bed (which she preferred cause it was bigger and cozier). Spider didn't mind so he gave in almost immediately. Best sleep he got in years, even with the bony knees and elbows poking him.

Spider will sacrifice himself when she gets sick, opting to be the one to go comfort her, knowing he'll be sick soon after. He has spent many nights holding her on the bathroom floor and wiping snotty noses. (he always gets it and gets it *worse* but it's worth it for his baby sis)

Tuk always does he best to take care of him after. She'll sit in bed with him and pet his hair or bring him snacks/water. When she was little, she'd bring out all her Doc McStuffin's toys (cause she'd love Doc McStuffin's, again, fight me) and try and 'make him better'

Spider has the strongest cuteness aggression ever for Tuk, like, he wants to squish her and bite her and squeeze her and shake her, with all of the love in the world. He satiates himself by snatching her, flopping on the floor, and bear hugging her as tight as he can, with his legs too, and just rolling back and forth till she's giggling so hard she can't breathe.

He is deeply invested in multiple children's shows because of how often he watches them with her. (His favorite is Wild Kratts, Paw Patrol, and Ninja Turtles)

(this one next one is so random but Spi and Tuk have pastina lover vibes, again, I dare you to fight me on this)

Spider spent time in the system and fending for himself, meaning he picked up a lot of easy recipes, one of which, was pastina with butter, broth, and cheese. He passed this on to Tuk, who has now decided this is the best snack ever and asks him to make it all the time.

Spider works out, just so he can carry her around forever and ever.

He always make sure that he and his older little siblings always give time to Tuk and involve her in their play.

They go on day trips after he gets his license, sometimes just the two of them, other times with all the Sully kids. They go to museums and science centers and such. He again holds her hand most of the time, or makes sure that she doesn't get lost while playing.

Worries over her constantly.

They trade art all the time. He'll make her a knew piece of jewelry and she'll give him a new painting to keep in his room.

He has a picture of her in his wallet.

He takes so many photos of her, he's like a facebook mom. Lo'ak makes fun of him.

He's teaching her how to skateboard, cause she thinks he's the coolest ever cause he knows how to skateboard. He got her a pretty skateboard and hot pink gear (in which he went overboard in buying considering her basically bought her a hot pink suit of armor) and helped her decorate it. He also makes sure she's not picked on when they go to the skate park.

He kisses every boo boo.

He makes and (never ever breaks) lots of pinky promises.

they have a special handshake.

When the Sully's go out anywhere, you can tell when Tuk wants to go home, because she'll be in Spi's arms, cause he'd never turn down an opportunity to hold his baby sister.

They match hair beads. Spi will always have at least one that matches with hers at all times, and Tuk will have one of his on the braid behind her ear so she can fiddle with it.

Tuk always double and triple checks that Spider has his inhaler (he doesn't know how she remembers better than he can)

She wears his shirts to bed a lot. They're big and soft and who could blame her?

should I do more of these (maybe one for each sibling?)

[apexart-journal]

Sonia Paulino Love Outbound to Montevideo, Day 21

Yesterday was a very nice day. Anticipated heavy rain had mostly dissipated to light drizzle. I felt honored to have been invited to visit Valentina's family's vineyards. They picked me up at the Airbnb with an assortment of both sweet and savory bizcochos as breakfast snacks for our hour or so drive through country roads and high hills. Fran asked "Are we there yet?"

On our brief tour of the farmland we munched on deliciously sweet harvest ready grapes while talking about her great-grandfather's migration story, her grandfather's recent passing at 100, and her brothers' intentions to continue the family's legacy. 

We then drove through Piriapolis. Established in the late 19th-Century, it is one of Uruguays earliest resort towns for international ship-setters, but currently frequented mostly by middle-class locals. It is quaint and charming with art deco flourishes. We stopped for a chivito and burger for lunch where we discussed their impressions from their recent visit to NYC, including: the astonishing cost of real-estate, the absurdity of so many women's excessive use of makeup (most don’t wear any at all here), and the marvels of thin crust pizza and bagels and lox. 

We continued on to the more modern resort town, Punta del Este. With its luxury hotels and designer shops, it is mostly frequented by wealthier locals, Argentinians, and international jet-setters. The rain and fog allowed for an unusually atmospheric and uncrowded view of "Los Dedos". We walked a bit and sat to enjoy ice cream together before I headed off to walk another mile to Punta de las Salinas, the southern-most point of the country and where the river and the ocean meet. I scrambled down the rocky point to touch the water, then turned right around to catch a bus home.

THE SUN was back today, so I headed out a little earlier than scheduled to visit the famous Feria de Tristian Narvaja. It is a maze of a flea market with rows of vendors on sidewalks and streets selling everything from aquarium fish to home furnishings and anything in-between. "Torta tres leches!" "Tengo termómetro!" It felt like the whole town was there, locals and tourists alike. I tired of looking for nothing in particular, so I filled my tote with fruit & veg for the week and left around noon, as THE HEAT and the crowds seemingly doubled.

Walking home from the bus stop, the very few people I saw in the neighborhood carried beach chairs and mate north to the park or south to the beach. It is a four-day weekend during Carnival that is also called Carnival.

I put on a nice blouse for an 8pm play at Teatro del Sol tonight, and toned down my red lipstick. A tablado about Carnival tablado, or a parody about parody. I sweat through my blouse on my way there, and it occurs to me how nice it is to enter a theatre or museum and not have to go through metal a detector or have to have your bags checked for guns or whatever. 

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

[missinghan]

cold sun ⤖ han jisung

❖ genre : soulmate au; fluff; angst

❖ word count : 2,6k.

❖ warning : slight swearing

❖ summary : in a world where one will lose something if their soulmate doesn’t reciprocate their words of love once they turn sixteen, jisung is willing to take the risk so you won’t have to bear the burden.

❖ note : i just realized how i always tend to write for jisung when i'm down :')) anywho this piece is a little different than what i usually come up with but i hope y'all enjoy it ♡

It’s the first day of the week.

“Hey, Y/N. I like you!”

And Han Jisung is really annoying.

Those words come out so easily. It's casual in a way that makes you bury your red nose deeper into the soft fabric of your scarf, which makes your footsteps quicken unknowingly as his voice chases after you loudly. Either way, this isn’t the first time Jisung has said so. In fact, it’s become a habit for him to remind you every other day.

There’s no particular reason why. Or at least that’s what you think.

It’s the end of the week. Jisung decides to hang himself upside down on your bed while you’re stressing over a presentation. “Hey, Y/N.” A cold winter breeze comes rushing against the perplexing glass of your window, shaking the frame violently before all motions come to silence.

Until, “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he creeps up from behind you and chirps into your ear.

“What?” you let out a groan of displease when tempting warmth embraces you whole, prompting you to drop your attention and looking over your shoulder.

Jisung pouts, “You didn’t answer me.”

“It’s because you’re annoying,” you sigh.

“Answer me when I call your name,” he pulls you in a fraction tighter, careful enough not to hurt you but firm to not let you slip away at the same time, and cradles your neck warmly, “So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“Alright, stupid.”

The all too familiar gummy smile returns instantly. “Hey, Y/N?”

And you can’t help but roll your eyes. “Yes, Jisung?”

“I like you,” he giggles into the hug, “I like you a lot.”

Han Jisung really is annoying.

He’s annoying because he talks too much. He’s annoying because of how he always asks for your notes after a gaming night with Felix just to nap in class. He’s annoying because he’d drop you in a heartbeat for a single slice of cheesecake from Jeongin’s mom’s bakery. He’s annoying because of how well he can get along with everyone.

Chatty, down-to-earth, easy-going with a lovable smile—attractive, very attractive.

It’s the week after that. “What...happened?”

“He lost his voice,” Jeongin sighs, looking like he genuinely wants to facepalm himself against concrete while walking with an incoherent Jisung to school; expressive hands with his mouth agape and all.

You tilt your head, “...for real?”

“For real.”

After a few seconds of eyeing Jisung struggling with converting what’s in his head, you exhale deeply and quickly rummage through your backpack, “Just stop, you look ridiculous.” And he does just that, zipping his mouth metaphorically and giving you those typical puppy eyes. “Here, use this.”

His eyes light up like stars when you rip off a page from one of your notebooks and offer it to him along with a pen. Truth is, you’re expecting something as predictable as ‘I like you’ or ‘It’s alright it’s just the worst cold I’ve ever caught’. But then, what’s displayed on the piece of paper right now only baffles you.

Park is going to murder you if he sees some uglyass tear in your Ochem notes :)

A forced grin splits your lips open. “Not if I murdered you first and then the entire school and then myself.”

The first genuine smile blossoms on his lips when you give him a mini-sized notepad and pencil the day after—his sixteenth birthday.

And Jisung decides this is it.

It happens when the sun hasn’t even come out yet and the irritating blue light from his phone reads 5:32 AM.

It happens when he sees your reclined figure leaning back against his mattress, his pupils tracing your delicate features. Perplexed emotions fill his eyes to the brim, fulfillment bursting within his chest when you stare right back at him with such purity. So pure that it seems you can do no harm to him and neither can he.

“Hey stupid,” you murmur quietly, shoving a notepad and pencil against his chest, “Happy birthday.”

Jisung gives you a bright smile, opens his mouth, and snaps it close mere moments later. Sixteenth birthday. Early in the morning. Tired grins. The fondness of being so disgustingly in love.

He can’t help but lean in and caves into the taste his soul has longed for as long as he can remember.

Two weeks have passed since Jisung has lost his voice.

Nothing has differed if you’re being completely honest. Han Jisung is still annoying. His lack of ability to speak doesn’t appear to be a problem to him at all. He loves chatting with people even though he’s more of a listener now. But with the small notepad you gave him a few days ago, being socially active is the norm for him even now.

Thanks to his rather short-period experiences of observing people’s expressions and how their features contort in certain ways when they’re feeling certain emotions, Jisung catches onto your mood more quickly during bad days to help you release your inner turmoil by scribbling down something stupid on the notepad. It’s kinda nice like this, you’d think to yourself sometimes.

Other times, you’re more scared that you might have forgotten what his voice sounds like.

“No wonder you got a fucking cold. Stop taking midnight showers already.”

You wave Jisung over when he closes the wooden door to your bedroom, droplets dripping from his hair as he scratches his stomach tiredly. His hair is a mess when he lazily crawls onto your bed, the cushion beside you dips slightly.

His index finger pointing at his post-shower head and a shit-eating grin are all you need to snatch the white towel around his neck.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” you mumble while rubbing the cotton fabric into his hair, “But you’re awfully upbeat for someone who’s lost their voice. Can’t you at least pretend to be sad about it?”

A noise of protest escapes his throat like second nature as your eyes carefully read the quick movements of his mouth. “And can you not be so mean to someone who’s lost their voice?”

A faint smirk creeps its way up to your lips. “Still like me now?”

Jisung thinks hard for a few moments before jumping out of bed to snatch his notepad from your studying area. Of course, I like you. I like you a lot. Your heartbeat momentarily spikes at his scrawny handwriting. Just when your gaze is averted away to cool the blush on your cheeks, he tugs at your sleeve again and points at a different mess of scribbles. You’re more gentle when I’m like this. And you’d always find me if I ever got into trouble. What’s there for me to be sad about?

“Annoying little shit,” you swallow your pride and let him settle his head against your chest.

His presence melts into yours during the hardest hours of the twenty-four, heartbeats on heartbeats and warmth on warmth. Your one regret is that you’re unable to register his tears that night, only the incoherent, breathless hiccups almost as to desperately call out your name.

It’s been a month since Jisung’s lost his voice. And the night when he kisses you for the second time, his notepad is long forgotten next to your pillow.

I-can’t-talk. Give-me-a-break.

Jeongin. Cheesecake. Please? Pretty please?

I’ll fucking kick you.

Wait, there’s homework?!

...so you’re telling me LMAO isn’t how French people laugh?

“This is what you’ve been doing during breaks huh…” you mumble under your breath while lazily flipping through the papers. The occasional ‘I like you’-s do pop up every two pages or so, which is more than enough to make you smile like an idiot. But that is until a peculiar paragraph yanks your attention by its neck and tosses it against a brick wall.

Mom, promise me you’re not going to cry.

He made auntie cry?!

I lost my voice for real now but it wasn’t supposed to be like that at first. I just wanted to mess with Y/N and freak her out for a day.

I’m seriously going to punch him.

She was a lot softer toward me after that, you know. I know it’s extremely selfish of me but I just can’t help being so happy. I’m sorry, mom. I really am.

Han Jisung you fucking idiot.

I was going to surprise her on my birthday by saying ‘good morning’ out loud but nothing came out. My voice was gone.

Guilt, anger, remorse take over you. You knew nothing of this. You never once questioned for a logical reason behind the loss of his voice and kept moving onward as if it’s not that big of a deal. You didn’t suspect it as a kind of prank, either. But you still care, all this time! You have been doing everything in your power as a way for both you and Jisung to treasure himself even if he can’t speak anymore.

I went to a check-up last week. Nothing came up. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

However, without fail, the obnoxious part of you will keep wandering back to the concept of soulmates that has been engraved so deeply into the society you’re living in. It makes no sense to you that Jisung lost his voice for no reason right before his sixteenth birthday. This explains it all now.

It’s going to be okay, mom. Because I have Y/N. I know she would come running toward my side over and over again even if she can’t hear me anymore. I really don’t know what I’d do without her in my life.

Jisung knew the penalty for being the first to exchange any words of love yet he still did it. And you were too busy overlooking that stupid pride of yours to say those three words back.

It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to forget what I used to sound like. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

Jisung fixes the strap of his backpack, looking up at his mom after slipping into his sneakers. She ruffles his bed head and hands him a small white box with Jeongin’s bakery’s signature logo on it.

He tilts his head in faint confusion, peering at the box of pastry in his arms.

“Give it to Y/N on the bus, okay? Her parents aren’t home right now. You know how she would always skip breakfast when they’re out of town.”

His eyes light up instantly in realization and Jisung nods, preparing to bid her farewell. Just then, his front door comes flying open. It can’t be a mere acquaintance because there are very few people other than his parents and himself who know of the spare key hidden under the welcome mat.

As Jisung turns around, he’s keenly aware of your teary eyes already trained on him. Which in hindsight, makes no sense. As a result, panic rises within the hollowness of his chest, his lips falling agape but no coherent words come out.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” his mom flinches, slightly caught off guard, “Is everything okay?”

A scowl stretches over your contorted features as you shut the door loudly. “What the hell is this?” you question, shoving the familiar notepad into his chest. “A prank? A prank?! Do you think that this is funny?”

Jisung’s frantic eyes move to read the paper and every single color on his face drains tremendously. He easily recognizes the peculiar paragraph by how much lighter the ink is compared to the rest of the messy lines because his pen was running low and his hand couldn’t stop shaking.

Your voice.

His eyes avert back to look at you. His brows furrow timidly and shaky breaths burst from his lips almost like a desperate cry for help. There’s too much he wants to say, too many things to explain, and too many questions running through his head that he can’t process what to do next. He might just overwhelm both you and himself.

I need to hear it again.

And you might not stay by his side this time.

“Okay, don’t answer me then, I guess,” you chuckle lowly, dipping your head and turning around.

Jisung grabs at your sleeve instinctively and drops the pastry box, his gaze empty and all too knowing. Sorrow glazes over his starry eyes when it starts becoming hard to breathe properly. The outlines of his lips are moving non-stop yet nothing comes following after that.

“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you rasp out and tug at his hand. Then it hits you. He’s like this because of you. Jisung lost his voice because of you.

His mom cuts into the conversation, “Y/N, you don’t understand!”

“I’m sorry, auntie,” you smile sadly and take off running into the streets.

You, in the midst of your self-loathing and guilt, allow your feet to go wherever they want as your vision spirals into a blur. A single droplet threatens to fall when a forceful hand yanks you back to reality.

It takes Jisung a moment to regain his regular breathing pace. And when he finally gets it, all he can do is call out to you with the same inaudible sounds and the same desperation in his eyes. It seems as though he’s fully aware that the prank was the stupidest, most irrational thing he’s ever done. But there’s more to the ocean within his eyes than just remorse.

“I already told you,” you clench your jaw and slap his hand away, “I don’t fucking know what you’re saying!”

A deep sigh. “Why am I mad? Of course, I’d be mad! It’s because of me that you lost your voice! It’s because I like you, too! Yet I never said it back… You lost your voice because of me! Don't you get it? Why can't you just hate me for the sake of it?!”

You miss his voice. You miss it a lot.

You want to hear it again. You want to hear him call you by your name. You want to stay up late and talk about anything to the ends of the Earth and back with him. You want him to be the obnoxious, chatty Han Jisung you've always known.

You miss how annoyingly loud he is.

“Y-Y...Y/N…!”

Jisung collapses onto his knees, a hand on concrete while the other is on his neck. His chest rises and falls unevenly, muffled noises of discomfort echoing deep down from his throat. Despite that, what you heard just now, is his voice.

“Answer me when I call your name. So I’d know that you’re still here with me.”

“I promised you, didn’t I,” you spread your arms and smile warmly, “That I’d always answer when you call my name. As long as I can still hear you, I will come running toward you over and over again. Doesn’t matter what it takes, doesn’t matter where you are.”

Jisung lifts his head and tears come rolling down on his cheeks. His throat feels swollen when he stutters with difficulties, trying to convey what’s in his head, “Y-Y/N, don’t- don’t go! Please don’t leave me...!”

“Come here,” you close your eyes with the widest grin on your lips, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Only when Jisung grows closer and throws his arms around you, sobbing into your uniform do you convince yourself that all of this isn’t a hallucination. The hug is a lot stronger than what you’d expect. First of all, you nearly fell over from the impact and your arms are pinned so tightly to your sides that you feel like your ribs are going to snap.

Everything is so overwhelming that all you can say is, “Ow.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles into your hair and loosens his arms a bit so you can loop your hands to the nape of his neck and hair.

“You’re so annoying, Han Jisung.”

He purses his lips, sniffling, “You tried to make me snap on purpose. Meanie.”

You quirk a playful brow, “Still like me now?”

“Yeah,” Jisung smiles, “A lot.”

Because he knows that he has you. Until every last star in the galaxy explodes as a supernova, Jisung has you.

[monicashipsnickyjoe]

soulmate/modern au

Nicky has a nervousness about him that he’s never been able to explain. He keeps feeling like something’s missing. Like he’s forgotten the name of an important thing and it’s sitting, impatient, at the tip of his tongue. He can’t recall. Or he doesn’t know. It’s all terribly confusing, and so, so frustrating.

He’ll walk down the street, see a family of duckings that makes him smile, and turn to his right to tell... someone. No one’s there.

Sometimes, when he’s tired, he’ll order two coffees at the shop on the corner, making one much sweeter than he likes it. Only when he walks away does he remember he’s alone.

When his friends encourage him, he goes to bars. He meets men, and occasionally he will let them touch his arm or his shoulder or his thigh from the bar stool beside his. Sometimes, he lets them kiss him. Never, is he able to ignore the feeling of wrong that prickles over his skin and twists in his stomach. Always, he leaves without them. If he has their number, he will delete it before he gets home.

Tonight, he cooks at the stove. He doesn’t realize he’s made any mistakes until, holding two plates, he thinks of something Booker said at work and turns, ready to share. There are two chairs at Nicky’s table. Both are empty. Nicky looks at his hands, and cursing, leaves one plate on the counter and takes the other into the living room. He sits on the couch, plate on his lap, and turns up the sound on the tv until he forgets that he’s forgotten.

The next morning, on his way to work, he sees a selection of sketchpads in an art store window. He buys one, and a set of charcoals. He carries the bag proudly until he gets to the office, to the cubicle he shares with Booker, and realizes with a deep sigh and heavy frown that he does not draw.

Booker looks at the bag, then at him. He lifts one lone brow. “You start taking art classes?”

Groaning, Nicky throws the bag under the desk and collapses into the chair. Whatever this is, it’s getting worse. What started as tri-monthly slip-ups are turning into daily routines. “Maybe I should see a doctor,” Nicky says.

“Maybe.” Booker scratches his chin. Behind him, on his computer screen, a game of solitaire is opened over the report he is supposed to be writing. “Or it could just be what it obviously is.”

“Don’t start.”

“Soulmates, Nicky,” Booker says.

Nicky rolls his eyes. “Be serious.”

Booker swivels his chair the whole way toward Nicky and leans forward. “I am serious.” He’s not smirking. That is his serious face.

But soulmates?

“I’d have better odds at the lottery,” Nicky says. He’s seen thousands of soulbonds... in movies. To find one in real life is a one in a billion chance. More, perhaps. Nicky is just a regular guy with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy he doesn’t use, a desk job that he hates, and a caffeine addiction. Normal. Boring. Not near special enough to catch the attention of another person’s soul.

“Maybe you should play the numbers, then.” Booker twists his chair back toward his desk.

“Soulmates,” Nicky huffs. He shucks off his coat and starts his computer. “Ridiculous.”

*

Across town, Joe has purchased two coffees, one much too bitter for him. When he realizes, he’s so excited, he nearly drops them both. He stops on the street, places both coffees on the ledge of a windowsill, and opens his phone.

“Nile,” he says before she even finishes saying, “Hello?”

“It happened again.” Joe can’t stop laughing. “That makes everyday this week!”

“That’s great, Joe.”

“Do you think I’ll meet him soon?” Joe bounces on his feet. “If it’s happening everyday, then surely -”

“Maybe? I mean, who knows? There’s not a lot of concrete info on this stuff,” Nile says. There’s a yawn in her voice. He woke her - again. They go to the same college - Nile for the first time, Joe for the second - but their shared classes aren’t until the afternoon. He feels a little bad about it now. It dampens his spirits somewhat. “Except movies, but who knows if those are right.”

Joe tries to reel in his excitement. “Right. Of course.”

Nile must be able to tell, because she immediately perks, brightening her voice. “But, Joe. If it takes a little time, it will be worth it, right? He’s out there. You just have to find him.”

“Thank you, Nile.” Joe’s smile presses his cheek tightly to his phone. “I am sorry I woke you.”

“Swing by, bring me that coffee, and we’ll call it even.”

“I promise.” Joe hangs up.

He thinks of the groceries that stock his cabinets at home. More pasta than he’s ever needed before.

He thinks of the book of Roman philosophers that he purchased that now sits on his coffee table, waiting.

He smiles at a family of ducklings he sees by a pond, and turns, ready to tell the person beside him. No one is there.

Yet.

“Soulmates,” Joe tells the ducks. “Amazing.”

*

The following day, it’s raining when Nicky leaves the office. He doesn’t have an umbrella, so with a lengthy sigh, he hunches his shoulders and presses forward. The rain is cold on the back of his neck and he shivers. But once you are wet, you can’t be more wet, so there is some comfort in that.

He makes it to the bus stop and sneezes.

“Bless you,” says the man already there, standing beside the soaked bench. He has a blue umbrella open, hiding his face, and another, this one green, closed, tucked under his arm.

“Grazie,” Nicky says and wipes his nose with his sleeve. It’s damp, but so is everything.

The blue umbrella shifts up a little. Nicky looks the other way, down the street, for the bus. Something nudges him in the side. He looks, and it’s the handle of the spare, green umbrella.

“May I tell you a story,” the man offering it says. Nicky looks up into a pair of warm brown eyes and with a wide, welcoming smile. Soft-looking curls cover his head, and a well-groomed beard rounds his face. He’s wearing a leather jacket with a t-shirt underneath. Paint splotches cover both, in a rainbow of colors.

Nicky, stunned by this man’s beauty, can only nod. The man moves the umbrella, poking him again, and Nicky takes it. He doesn’t open it, though, he can’t get his hands to cooperate.

“I saw the weather report this morning,” the man says, voice so bright and happy, it warms Nicky up from the inside out. “And I grabbed two umbrellas before I left the house. Two. I didn’t even think about it until I walked into the studio and my friend noticed.”

He’s looking at Nicky and Nicky should say something. He tries, “That’s interesting.”

The man looks at the umbrella in Nicky’s hands, at the way he’s clutching it and not opening it. He takes a step closer, so that his open blue umbrella covers them both.

This close, Nicky can only see freckles.

“I have a question to ask,” the man says, “and I really hope the answer is yes.”

Nicky swallows hard. He nods.

“Do you like bitter coffee, pasta, and philosophy?”

Nicky’s breath catches in his throat. It cannot be possible, but... if it is. And if it is this man... Nicky’s heart leaps out of his chest with hope.

He clears his throat, he must find words now. “Do you...” Nicky stops and tries again. “Are you an artist, do you like things too sweet, and do you notice the ducklings?”

If Nicky thought this man’s smile was bright before, he was mistaken. For now, it is a beaming sun, pushing back all the gray.

“I love the ducklings,” the man says.

Any moment now, Nicky will awake, having fallen asleep at his desk, and Booker will mock him.

Instead, the voice in Nicky’s heart whispers, This one, and he knows.

The man reaches out a hand and places it on Nicky’s chest. Nicky must look like hell, drenched in rain, but this man stares at him with open reverence like he can see the moon in his eyes.

“Hello, my heart,” the man says. “I have been looking for you.”

Nicky’s having trouble with full sentences again, so he takes a step closer instead.

“My shared soul,” the man continues, speaking for them both now. He knows the words Nicky’s heart whispers. “My light. My warmth.”

He motions to himself, then. “Joe.”

Nicky does the same. “Nicky.”

“Nicky,” Joe repeats, and it takes all Nicky has not to melt into a puddle on the sidewalk, ready to be washed away with the rain.

“Joe,” Nicky says, and it’s sudden relief. The word he could never quite remember right there on the tip of his tongue. He says it again, loving the feel of it in his mouth. “Joe.”

It’s perfect. It’s everything.

Later, Nicky will cook the pasta in Joe’s cabinets, and Joe will sketch Nicky with the charcoal.

For now, Nicky places his hand over Joe’s on his chest and knows he’s home.

[cutethingstolove]

School Day

Photos From @little-stephanies-diary​, Part 3

Stephanie made it though second period without anyone finding out she was wearing a diaper, or at least she hoped. When the bell rang, she waited for the other kids to start leaving before packing her bag and leaving herself. She was terrified at the though of waling through the hallways with all the other students and one of them noticing.

The rest of the day went pretty normally. Thankfully, she didn’t have gym class today, so she didn’t have to change in front of the other girls. At lunch, she made sure to not drink very much as she had realized that there was no way to take her new diaper off to use the bathroom. She had to try to hold it until the bus dropped her off at home.

As the day went on, Stephanie had forgotten she was even wearing a diaper. She was actually enjoying it a little bit. The diaper was warm, a pleasant change in the cold school, and the extra padding under her butt made it much more comfortable to sit on the hard chairs that most of her classes had. Finally 3:30 rolled around and the final bell rang. Stephanie grabbed her things and headed to the bus.

As she stepped onto the bus, she headed straight towards the back. She might have started to enjoy having the diaper on, but she still didn’t want anyone to know that’s what she was wearing under her skirt. She was also praying that she could make the 45 minute ride home without needing to use the bathroom as she had been holding it in since second period.

As the bus rumbled down the road the occasional bumps and potholes made Steph start to fidget. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to make the whole trip home to use the bathroom. As the urge from her bladder got stronger, she thought to herself, “Well, I AM wearing a diaper, and diapers are used for pee… might as well use it as intended. Besides, I can change quickly when I get home and daddy won’t have to know.”

After the next bump the bus went over, Stephanie relaxed as her full bladder emptied entirely into the diaper. She was shocked at how nice it felt as the warmth spread between her legs. She definitely made the right choice in the nurse’s office when she picked the diaper to wear for the day. The bus pulled up at her stop, and Stephanie quickly exited the bus feeling the squishiness between her legs. She just had to go inside and change fast before her dad arrive home from work.

As she entered the house, she heard a deep voice coming from the dining room. Her dad was home already! He didn’t normally come home from work for at least another hour! Her face went beet red as she listened to his words.

“Stephanie, princess, can you come into the dining room please,” her dad said in a deep calm voice.

“Yes daddy,” she responded as she walked into the dining room.

“Sit down please. The school nurse called today and told me about what happened, and had me come pick up your dirty panties. Care to explain?”

“Well daddy, I was really tired this morning, and Mrs. Hanson is so boring that I fell asleep in class.”

“Is that all?,” he asked knowingly.

“No daddy. I had a bit of an accident while I was napping and had to go see the nurse. But it’s ok! I promise!”

“I know better than that little lady,” he said in a disappointing tone, “the nurse told me that you changed into a diaper since they couldn’t give you any clean underwear. Do you still have them on?”

“Yes daddy,” Stephanie responded sheepishly.

“Show me please princess.”

“Oh no,” Steph thought, “he’s going to see that I used them!”

She lifted her skirt to show her dad that she was wearing a diaper. It was obvious that it was soaked, and she was terrified at how her dad might respond.

“It looks like you had more than one accident today sweety,” her dad expressed rather calmly, “Go upstairs and take a shower to get cleaned up. I did a load of your laundry today, so you’ll have some clean PJs to put on. They are still in the dryer though.”

“Okay daddy,” Stephanie said quietly, “Can you grab them out of the dryer for me while I’m in the shower?”

“No sweetheart, I am going to start getting dinner ready. Oh, and I should warn you, I made a trip to the store today after the nurse called. You have a bit of a surprise waiting for you when you are done in the shower.”

Surprise? Stephanie’s mind was racing thinking of what her dad could have bought as a surprise. She shook the notion though, went up to the bathroom, threw her soaking wet diaper in the trash, stripped down and hopped in the shower. It didn’t take long as she didn’t have much to clean up. Wrapping herself in a towel, she went back to her room to  change into something more comfortable. She grabbed a black sports bra that was on the top of her dresser and tossed it on. She went to open her underwear drawer for a clean pair of panties, but when she opened the drawer her mouth dropped.

“Daddy?,” Steph yelled, “What happened to my underwear drawer?!?”

“Well princess, I told you I had a surprise.,” he said slyly, “I figured since you couldn’t keep your new unicorn panties dry, you might need a little more protection. I packed up all your panties and replaced them with Goodnites. Now hurry up! Dinner is almost ready!”

Mortified while staring at a drawer full of pullups, Steph yelled back downstairs, “Daddy?! Diapers?! I can’t wear these!”

“Yes you can princess,” her dad said calmly, “Now put them on and grab your PJs out of the dryer so we can eat. I made your favorite; Macaroni and Cheese!”

With a bit of a huff, Stephanie grabbed a pair of the new Goodnites that had replaced her regular panties. Looking at them, she had to admit they were pretty cute with the little cupcakes on them. She remembered how nice the diaper had felt earlier in the day, so maybe these wouldn’t be so bad. They were a lot thinner, and looked a LOT more like her regular underwear.

After putting them on, she went down to the laundry room and reached into the dryer and grabbed her most comfy pink shorts. She put them on quickly as well as a blue top  that she liked. After putting everything on, she walked into the dining room and sat down in front of a plate of macaroni and cheese.

“Thank you for making my favorite dinner daddy,” Stephanie said happily.

“Not a problem princess. I know you must have had a hard day, so I thought you deserved something special. After dinner, I have another treat for you.”

Stephanie felt safe and happy with her dad being so kind about everything, even though she wasn’t entirely happy about her new ‘underwear’. After the day she had though, it was nice to be home and feel loved.

To Be Continued…

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Exactly What You Wanted

CW: Drunk whumpee, referenced drug use, abuse survivor lashing out, low-level ptsd, rough recovery drabble, some references to dubcon and noncon

Timeline: During the years of Kauri’s Poor Life Choices

“Come on, baby,” Kauri says, in a voice like a deep rumbling purr, tilting his head just right, putting all that heat and warmth he doesn’t really feel into his eyes. He’s a good liar, he’s a great liar, and the booze in his veins and whatever that guy gave him two hours ago make him feel unstoppable. “Take me back.” He pauses, then giggles, and he knows they love to hear him laugh, they always love to hear him laugh.

He can laugh with a knife to his throat, he can laugh with his legs spread, he can laugh when every other trainee would be screaming, if they were in his place.

Jake, though, Jake doesn’t like the laugh. He doesn’t like the heat in Kauri’s eyes. He doesn’t like the voice, or the head-tilt, or any of it. He just sets his jaw, looking around the bar as if checking for witnesses, and Kauri can’t stop laughing at how comically serious he is. 

“Oh my god.” Kauri giggles again, puts his hands over his mouth. The bar is spinning around him, the colors are liquid bleeding into each other, he can feel the air move over his skin, like someone touching him. “You look like you ate a lemon.”

“I have class tomorrow, Kauri,” Jake says, voice sharp and flat somehow both at once, and he grips Kauri by the arm, pulling him towards the exit. A few of the guys at the table Kauri was sitting at boo loudly at the loss of Kauri’s sparkling brilliance - or maybe just at losing the way he’d been sitting in their laps one by one just to feel their arms around him. “I don’t mind taking you home-”

“Not my hooooome,” Kauri singsongs, but he lets himself be pulled. Jake’s hand on his arm feels nice. All of it feels nice, all touch, anyone’s hands mouth whatever they want on him, it’s nice. 

Means he’s wanted.

Means he’s real.

Jake exhales, rubbing his free hand over his face. He looks tired, doesn’t he? Kauri can suddenly see those dark circles under his eyes, the way his hair is all mussed up from a pillow. 

“I woke you up,” Kauri says as they leave, the stale heat and booze-smell from inside the bar giving way to cooler, fresher air outside. He lets Jake pull him down the sidewalk, looking up at him. He nearly walks into someone going the opposite way, until Jake pulls him to the side. “You, you were asleep when the phone rang.”

“Yeah,” Jake says roughly. His shirt’s on inside-out - Kauri hadn’t noticed that before, either. He must have rolled out of bed and changed out of his pajamas without even taking time to check. 

Kauri called for a ride and Jake didn’t waste a second.

“My car’s a few lots down,” Jake says, not looking at him as they walk. Kauri hums, taking in the beauty of the streetlights with their halos like angels hovering over the road, lighting the sidewalk. Someone calls his name and Kauri waves, trying to go give her a hug, but Jake’s grip on his arm stops him. It stops him, and makes his heart beat faster. “If we hurry, we can get back by 3, I can sleep til 6:30 if I pay for parking tomorrow instead of taking the bus.” He sounds like he’s already worked this all out for himself, and maybe he has. Maybe he talked through it the whole way here.

Kauri thinks of Jake talking to himself, planning out his day at a stoplight, and starts laughing again. Once he starts laughing, he can’t stop. They pass a small park, a kind of courtyard between two businesses, and Kauri puts up a hand, collapsing onto a bench. He can’t stop the giggling bubbling up out of him.

Jake all serious-faced, checking his phone, I can be asleep by 3:30, I can do this, I can do that, his whole planned life and his classes and Kauri is drunk at a bar and he’s high at a bar he did some stuff with a guy in a bar and he’s calling for a ride back from the bar-

“Kauri, come on.” Jake’s voice is weary, not just tired, not just sleepy, but exhausted. By the night, and by Kauri himself. “I don’t have time, I have to go to sleep.”

“You’re as stupid as I am,” Kauri says when he can get control of himself enough to speak, and there’s still laughter edging his voice, slightly breathless. “You know that? You’re a fucking moron just like me. Doing this. You’re so fucking stupid, we’re both so fucking stupid, Jake.”

“Kauri, you’re not stupid. I’m not talking about this here with you-”

“Why do you do this? Huh?” Kauri shakes his head, sweaty black curls sticking to his forehead in a sudden chill as a breeze ruffles them. He can feel his hair at the back of his neck, too, pressing there. Not the weight of a collar, but a memory of one anyway. “Why do you answer when I call?”

Jake swallows, rubs at his face again. “Because I want to-”

“No. No, that’s not it. No, you answer because I’m your fucking... your charge, right? Your ward. Because you feel sorry for me.” Kauri giggles, but there’s no real humor in it now. “I’m pitiful.”

“It’s not like that. You’re in pain-”

“Oh, shove your fucking psych-talk, Dr. Stanton.” Kauri shakes his head, leaning his back against the metal curve of the bench, looking straight up. In the city there are no stars, only a faint glow of lights making even the night sky just a little orange around the edges. “That’s what it is, right? You feel sorry for us, so you get to be the big hero, and we’re the pretty little pets grateful for whatever crumbs of mercy you throw-”

“Kauri. Stop it.” Jake’s voice snaps, and he leans in closer, and Kauri breathes in the fear that hearing an angry male voice lights in him, lets it spark his nerves with the booze and the everything else already there. “I’m not doing this because I feel sorry for anyone. Okay? Get up, we’re going home.”

“It’s. Not. My. Home.” Kauri meets Jake’s eyes this time, his own a sparkling, crackling blue flame, and Jake’s stony silent ocean, nearly gray in the darkness. “It’s not. You like this, huh? You like getting to show up and save the damsel in distress? Yeah?”

“Kauri, I would give anything to be fucking asleep right now-”

“But you didn’t. You got right up when I called, and that’s why you’re as stupid as I am. I’m brainless because they beat all my brains out of me, Jake - beat and fucked and drugged ‘em all out, left me all sweet and pretty and pointless for whoever paid the price - why are you stupid? Huh?”

Jake’s jaw works. “Kauri-”

“You’re stupid because you think I’m gonna stop being like this. You’re stupid because you think I can get better.”

“You can-”

“No, I can’t. I like me this way.” Kauri snorts, looks down his hands, but they’re shaking a little, and he doesn’t like that. He can’t feel them shaking but he can see them shaking. 

“I don’t think you do,” Jake tries, but his voice is getting ragged along the edges, and Kauri knows he’s pushing too far but he can’t stop himself now. “I think you want to get better and you just need more time.”

“Time?” Kauri laughs, and people walking by look over at them briefly, at the mess on the bench and the big tough man leaning over him. Kauri gives a little wave, I see you eavesdropping, assholes, and they hurry past. “Maybe this is fucking it, huh? What you see is all that’s left of me. What do you do then?”

Jake stares down at him. “I keep coming to pick you up anyway.”

“Oh, you’re just the best. Huh? The absolute pinnacle of fucking manhood. Jake Stanton, guardian angel and patron saint of the fucked-up messes that fall on your doorstep,” Kauri sing-songs, clapping his hands together in a mockery of prayer, eyes rolling back to the sky. “At least I’m nice to look at, huh? Got that going for me. I mean, it’s pretty much all I’ve got going for me, good fucking looks and pretty mouth and my tongue knows how to do that thing-”

“Kauri-”

“Used to be popular, in training,” Kauri says, leaning forward now, licking at his lips. Like Jake is the prey this time, like Kauri for once isn’t the one being held down but the one doing the holding. “Used to be a favorite. Only one way you get to be anyone’s favorite in training, Jake, and it’s not by being smart. Face it, Stanton, you got a hopeless case on your hands, you’re a big saintly perfect hero getting in your car after midnight to get your chaste savior rocks off with a fucking whore who won’t stop, who can’t stop, who will never get any better than this-”

“Kauri, for the love of God, stop it!” Jake’s voice raises finally, and Kauri flinches back against the bench. Adrenaline pulses all at once through his veins, heart racing, and he feels a mix of terror and a mean, cruel, small victory. 

Made him mad. I made him mad. Now he’ll be just like everyone else. Now he’ll hurt me. Now he’ll see why Owen had to.

But Jake doesn’t get closer, doesn’t shove a finger in Kauri’s face, doesn’t grab him by his shirt or his arm or his hand, doesn’t slap him doesn’t hit doesn’t scream. All he does is sigh, and look away, down the street in the direction he must have left his car. His shoulders shift. Kauri can see the anger in him, but it doesn’t rise, it isn’t wielded. It... fades, after a second, and leaves behind a weary look. An emotion Kauri can’t read. “Kauri. I’m not doing this. I’m not having this fight, not this late, not now. If you want to argue this in the morning, fine, but... god. I need to go home, okay?”

“Then go home,” Kauri says. He feels tears in his eyes, suddenly, and he can’t understand why. “Leave. No one’s stopping you.”

“You called me to come get you,” Jake says, but he knows where this is going, Kauri can see it in the way his shoulders slump, in how his hand moves into his pocket to dig his keys out. “Just come get in the car, okay? If you want to argue all the way home, it’s fine, but-”

“I already told you it’s not my fucking home. Go, Jake. I’m sorry I called. I won’t call you again.”

“Yes, you will.” Jake looks at him, an expression of almost comical confusion and hurt, and Kauri’s heart aches. “You will, right?”

But he sets his jaw. “No, I won’t. Don’t worry, I can handle myself.”

“Did you call me out here just to start a fight, Kaur?” 

Kauri doesn’t know how to answer, because he hadn’t, but now that he has started a fight he doesn’t want to admit it was an accident. He just swallows back the apology that tries to find its way out, forces it down. He sits back against the bench and shrugs, crossing his arms in front of himself. 

The silence draws out. 

As though the silence in itself said something - and maybe it did, really - Jake nods, finally, and pulls his keys out from his pocket. “Fine. I’m sorry it went this way tonight. Please... please call me.”

Kauri doesn’t answer, because if he opens his mouth, he’ll apologize for doing this, he’ll beg Jake not to hate him for it, and he can’t do that. He doesn’t know why, but there’s a rock in his mind blocking him from taking the first step to mend the break he made.

“Get some sleep, Saint Stanton. Maybe I’ll be pathetic enough to call you in the morning. We can go back to pretending you give a fuck about who I am as a person and not just as the little rescue who needs you. Make up for whatever fucked you up before that makes you want to work with us.”

That hits home. Kauri sees Jake wince, sees his hurt feelings written all over his face. Sees Jake consider arguing, give up. Sees the second Jake decides to stop trying.

That’s right. Stop trying. I’m not worth it. I don’t deserve you.

Kauri tries to feel that sense of victory from before, but all he feels now is cold - and as Jake turns and walks away, the cold slips from his heart into his fingertips, all the way down to his toes.

Cold, and alone.

“Congratulations,” He whispers to himself, watching Jake’s back as he walks away, until he turns a corner and is gone. “Good job, Kauri Grant. You got exactly what you wanted.”

Now all he wants is to take it back.

-

Tagging: @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @whumpfigure @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @boxboysandotherwhump @orchidscript @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @wildfaewhump @whumptywhumpdump 

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

Invisible Chapter 4

Summary: YN YLN has always been third in Class 2-5, right behind Lee Su Ho and Kang Soo Jin but with both of them having left Saebom Highschool, this is her time to shine. That is until Han Seosangnim asks her to tutor Han Seo Jun. A guy who doesn’t even know she existed.

Ship: Han Seo Jun x Female Reader.

Word Count: 3398 (I really can't write short chapters. Sorry I guess😂🤷🏽‍♀️😭)

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated with any reactions or whatever you want to say. Again I really don't know where I am going with this.

True Beauty Masterlist.

Chapter 3.

(I tried finding a gif of the class but couldn't so this will have to do)

Chapter 4:

As you and Seo Jun got to the bus stop. You finally dared to look back and saw that Hae Sung wasn’t behind you. You sighed and looked at Seo Jun, tapping his arm around your shoulders with your other hand.

Seo Jun quickly removed his arm from your shoulders and bumped shoulders with you, smirking at you. He sat down on the bench and motioned at you to sit next to him. Once you sat down next to him, you looked at him.

“Thanks for what you did and said back there, I really do not want to deal with Hae Sung right now” You thanked Seo Jun. Putting his arm around you and helping you to avoid talking to Hae Sung, was a relief. You’d almost forgotten about the argument with Hae Sung while tutoring Seo Jun, seeing him waiting outside, just hit you like a train with the memories of what he said.

“I don’t need an excuse to punch that idiot, just tell me now and Ill happily go and punch him” Seo Jun shrugged, then pointed at the bus approaching and stood up to get on the bus, looking at you, waiting for you to get up too.

You shook your head, Seo Jun looked confused but sat down again next to you.

“Uh, wasn’t that your bus? I don’t have my motorbike so how are you going to go home?” Seo Jun asked you.

“So, what I got out of that is, if you did have your bike, you would’ve given me a ride home,” You asked Seo Ju back laughing when he glared at you. After seeing his glare so much in the last few days, you were growing immune to it. At least you were starting to differentiate between the types of glares Seo Jun had.

“I don’t know how you know what bus I usually get, you stalker but I’m going to Mi Soo Unnie’s apartment. Hae Sung is my neighbour and I know he’ll turn up at breakfast tomorrow morning, so the best way to avoid him is to go live with Unnie for the rest of the week”. Shaking your head, you take a breath after saying so much. What is it about Seo Jun that just makes you word vomit and ramble on, when you barely talk to anyone in your class but with him, you feel like talking about anything and everything.

Seo Jun looked at you sadly, he couldn’t imagine having to deal with Lee Hae Sung as a best friend. That was something coming from him when he had to deal with Lee Su Ho and his stupidity, then again both of them had been at fault for the rift in their friendship but it was all sorted now and he couldn’t be happier about the place he was in with Su Ho.

“YN your really going to avoid your own home just so you don’t have to deal with Lee Hae Sung also doesn’t that other bus go in an opposite direction of the school. That is some level of dedication to avoiding him.” Seo Jun couldn’t understand not going home just to avoid someone, he would miss his bed too much and if that person dared show up at his apartment, well they were definitely not going to be leaving with breakfast.

You smiled, he made a good point, the lengths you were going to were extreme. But this was needed, you needed to put some distance between you and Hae Sung. The things he said to you may not have been the worst stuff he’s spewed out in an argument, but this time it was making you rethink your entire friendship.

“It’ll be okay, Unnie was saying how Joon Oppa was on a business trip and she felt lonely in their apartment, I was going to stay with her this weekend anyway, now I’m just going a bit earlier and her apartment isn’t all that far away from school, I’ll still be on time Seo Jun don’t worry” You explained, As you finished speaking you saw the bus you needed and stood up, searching for your bus pass as you waited for the bus.

Seo Jun laughed at your reply, before tapping your shoulder and giving you your bus pass that had fallen to the ground in your search for it. You thanked him and got on the bus, you turned expecting Seo Jun to get on with you, but he just gave you a small smile and waved at you. You waved back and then found a seat on the bus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Choi Soo Ah looked at her classmates. She had managed to convince them all, to come into school extra early to discuss how they were going to deal with showing Lee Hae Sung that he was wrong about Class 2-5 and quite frankly YLN YN didn’t even need him in her life.

For some reason Kim Cho Rong and Song Si Woo were also there but considering that YN, Cho Rong and Song Si Woo were close, she allowed it. Even if the messages she had painstakingly forwarded to everyone explicitly stated that this was important Class 2-5 only business.

Although she should probably thank Cho Rong and Si Woo, for being the ones who had managed to get Han Seo Jun to come to this meeting. Though from what Ju Kyung had told her, maybe Seo Jun was starting to care for YN just a little more than he cared for the rest of Class 2-5.

Which was great for him, sure she shipped Seo Jun and Ju Kyung. But really, she just wanted Seo Jun to be happy and if he was happy with YLN YN then Soo Ah was going to give them every opportunity for that crush to turn into like then love.

“Look guys I know you're tired but we need to have a plan, after what Hae Sung said, there’s no way I’m okay with this friendship carrying on, YLN YN deserves better from a guy who claims to be her best friend” Soo Ah exclaimed loudly, she needed to get everyone up and roaring to go with ideas. Not tired and falling asleep on her right now.

“Can't we just help her to avoid him and that’s it, she’s already living with her sister to avoid Lee Hae Sung” Seo Jun complained, while he was all for making sure that YN didn’t cry over Lee Hae Sung again, he did not appreciate losing sleep to be surrounded by his annoying classmates to plan this.

“Omo, she’s living with Mi Soo Unnie, yah that’s so much more travelling for her. Ugh, the things Lee Hae Sung is making the poor girl do” Hyun Ji said, this whole situation made her angry. She liked to think of herself as YLN YNs best female friend and she had never liked Hae Sung to begin with.

That confused Seo Jun, was Hyun Ji wrong or did you lie to him yesterday. Even if she did lie, why was Seo Jun annoyed at that, you weren’t that close to him. Why should he expect you to not lie to him, and he understood her reasoning for lying but it still stung that she didn’t just tell him the truth. He knew that you probably only said that to him so that he didn’t complain more about Hae Sung being the reason that you were going to live with your sister.

Ju Kyung sighed. With what Hyun Ji said, everyone was suddenly awake now and we're all speaking over each other. This was not helping in the slightest. She locked eyes with Seo Jun and begged him with her eyes to do something to get everyone to be quiet.

Thankfully, Seo Jun understood Ju Kyung’s begging and very suddenly he banged his hand on his desk. That shocked everyone into silence, he motioned to Ju Kyung who smiled at him and started talking about what she thought would be a good way to go about this plan to get you to drop Hae Sung as a friend.

From there, it was a productive discussion, and everyone managed to agree on a plan. It was decided that the quicker they all started acting, the quicker you would drop Lee Hae Sung as your best friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were running to class. You had woken up at the normal time for school. Forgetting that you were living with Mi Soo Unnie and the journey from Unnie’s house to Saebom was over an hour longer than it was from your house.

Mi Soo Unnie offered to drive you to school, but it was her day off and you felt bad to make her leave the house just to drive you to school. Especially when you had dropped in on her randomly without even telling her.

You saw Han Ssaem leave the Teachers Room and that made you fear being late and so that gave you more reason to sprint to your class. You got to the class and stood at your desk panting, trying to catch your breath. You felt a tap on your shoulder and just waved it off, assuming it was Hyun Ji or someone else.

That same person cleared their throat and you looked at Hyun Ji’s desk and saw her pointing behind you, your eyes widened in shock. If Hyun Ji was sitting at her desk, then that meant….

You turned around and saw Han Ssaem looking at you expectantly. You smiled at Han Ssaem awkwardly before sitting down quickly and looked back at Han Ssaem after taking out your books.

Han Ssaem laughed at you and shook his head, he put his papers down and started with his announcements for the day. You let out a sigh of relief, thank goodness it was Han Ssaem and not Kim Seosangnim, she would’ve had your neck for being late and given you detention immediately.

The bell rang for the break and you stretched your arms. You wanted to take a walk, maybe go to the Shop but as you looked around the room, your eyes went to the door and there you saw Hae Sung standing there. You made brief eye contact, but you looked away from him pretty fast.

As you stood up, Hyun Ji came up to you and linked your arms with hers. She smiled and started to just take you with her outside from the back door, completely ignoring Hae Sung at the other door, on your way Hae Sung tried to interrupt Hyun Ji and talk to you but somehow every guy in Class 2-5 would get in his way and stop him. You didn’t know what was going on with your Class, but you were grateful to them for helping you to avoid Hae Sung.

Once you got to the Shop, you looked at Hyun Ji. She smiled and you two went to get the snacks you wanted.

“Ji, thanks for helping me avoid Hae Sung, I know you probably don’t know why I am avoiding him but I appreciate the help, I just cant talk to him right now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m thinking of blocking his number.” You told Hyun Ji as you guys were paying for your items. Saying thank you to the Ahjumma at the cashier, you started to take the long way back to class. Once you got back to the class, you were shocked to see everyone standing around your desk.

You went there and saw that there was a basket of imported European chocolates on your desk with a note on the basket. You didn’t even have to look to the door, to see Hae Sung waiting there to see your reaction to his apology gift. You took the note and didn’t even read it before ripping it up and throwing it into the bin. You took the basket and started opening it up and looked at Hyun Ji next to you.

“Hey Ji, want some imported chocolates?” you asked her casually, you knew that Hae Sung was still watching from the door and frankly you didn’t care. You wanted Hae Sung to give you time and wait for you to reach out to him, instead of waiting for you, he was trying to bribe you with gifts into forgiving him without actually apologising or even understanding why you were upset with him.

Hyun Ji didn’t say anything but just nodded her head, you took out some chocolate and shared it with her. Then you turned to Soo Ah behind you and offered chocolates to her, you looked at Ju Kyung who was staring at you in shock and offered chocolate to her as well. Then you stood up and went to the back of the class and put the basket on the short cabinets at the back then turned around to everyone staring at you.

“Everyone do not forget to thank Lee Hae Sung for these chocolates, it was nice of him to bring us these chocolates” You made eye contact with Hae Sung as you talked loudly enough for Hae Sung to hear what you were saying. He looked angry, you knew he was thinking of grabbing your arm and drag you out to shout at you, but you did not care in the slightest.

Before the rest of your class could attack the chocolates, you took a few and tapped Seo Jun on his shoulder, he had been napping, while you didn’t want to wake him up, however, this would be the icing on the cake and make Hae Sung even angrier.

He groaned and looked up at you holding chocolates, he blinked rapidly very confused as to why you were holding chocolates in your hands. You smiled at him and held the chocolates out to him, he looked at you and you nodded smiling, encouraging him to take these chocolates.

“Just wanted to thank you for waiting with me for the bus yesterday Seo Jun, also no tutoring today as I’ve got a book club meeting.” Again, you talked loud enough for Hae Sung to hear you and you laughed when you saw that he was going back to his classroom.

No doubt he was going to throw some sort of tantrum or take his anger out on someone in his class. You felt bad about that, you made a mental note to message their class president Eun Hoo and apologise for whatever mess Hae Sung created.

Seo Jun just stared at you, holding out chocolates to him but looking at the door at Hae Sung and then laughing when he stomped away. He didn’t know whether he wanted to take the chocolates or not, while he did dislike Lee Hae Sung, why should he refuse free chocolates. From the reaction Hae Sung just gave. If he saw Seo Jun with those chocolates, he would be even angrier and while that would be funny for him.

Seo Jun didn’t want any of Hae Sung’s anger to affect you. That made him pause, why did he care so much about what would happen to you, it's not like you were friends that he should care. You were just his tutor and someone he wanted to get to know more. He most definitely wasn’t starting to get a crush on you.

No way was that happening. Your relationship with Hae Sung was confusing enough, it was obvious Hae Sung had feelings for you but what you felt for Hae Sung was up in the air and if you even knew that Hae Sung had feelings for you.

Why was he even thinking about this, he had been through enough with Ju Kyung, he didn’t want to like anyone especially not the person who was tutoring him.

“Yah, Han Seo Jun take these chocolates will you, my arm is starting to hurt” you complained when Seo Jun still hadn’t taken the chocolates from your hands. This seemed to jolt Seo Jun from whatever trance he was in and he quickly took the chocolates. You smiled brightly at him and went back to your seat.

“You know, YN that scene of you giving chocolates to Seo Jun felt like it was out of a drama. The girl confessing to the guy with chocolates. Argh so cute, I am here for this ship” Soo Ah said excitedly. You looked down embarrassed before shaking your head and looked down to avoid anyone seeing your blushing cheeks. Unfortunately, you weren’t quick enough.

“Aww, Seo Jun look she’s blushing now; yah I think we’ve got a new couple emerging in our class,” Tae Hoon said sounding just as excited if not more excited than Soo Ah at the prospect of another couple in your class. Seo Jun looked at you getting embarrassed, not lifting your head as other people started to tease you and felt anger. He didn’t understand why he was angry at Tae Hoon embarrassing you like this, but he was, and he had to do something about it.

“Aish, Yoo Tae Hoon shut that stupid mouth of yours before I punch you” Seo Jun snarled angrily at Tae Hoon who immediately stopped teasing you and went back to his desk, miming a zipper closing his mouth. Seeing that reaction everyone else that had been teasing you stopped as well.

You heard what happened and felt immensely grateful for Seo Jun getting everyone to be quiet. You wanted to thank him but didn’t want to stir up rumours so with your head still on your desk you texted Ju Kyung and asked her for Seo Jun’s number. Thankfully, she saw your message immediately and sent his number without even asking why you wanted it.

To Seo Jun:

Thanks for that, u didnt have to do that, but I appreciate it Seo Jun. Sorry about what happened tho, I shouldnt have given the chocolates to u now, if I knew it would’ve started this, I would’ve given them to Cho Rong or Ju Kyung to pass on to you instead. Oh, and Ju Kyung gave me ur number.

Almost immediately you felt your phone buzz and saw youd gotten a reply from Seo Jun.

From Seo Jun:

Watver Nerd, culdve asked for my number yesterday ya know but yeah ur welcome i guess, someone had to shut up these idiots. im happy u gave the chocolates to me, thnx for them bonus was seeing that bastard walking off in anger.

You laughed silently at Seo Jun calling Hae Sung a bastard, although your automatic reaction was to defend Hae Sung, you refrained from doing that and replied.

To Seo Jun:

Yh yh, I forgot sue me for being forgetful Han Seo Jun, I hope you enjoy the chocolates tho, their the expensive type so share them with ur mum and sister.

You knew he would share with his family, but just wanted to remind him, these chocolates were the type that you would finish without even realising it.

From Seo Jun:

Yah, wat do u take me for, ofcourse im sharing w/ my sis n mum, dw abt it, with the way these vultures attacked ill even save some for u.

Honestly who knew Seo Jun could be such a sweetheart over texts, this was a side of Han Seo Jun you never thought you would see.

To Seo Jun:

Aww, thnx for saving some for me too Seo Jun, you don’t have too but im not gonna say no to chocolates.

You smiled as you felt you phone vibrate with a response, Seo Jun was a quick responder, you didn’t think youd be texting with Seo Jun or even get his number but look you having a proper text conversation with him. Such a contrast to last week when you were afraid of him and now not only were you tutoring him but he was slowly becoming your friend.

From Seo Jun:

Understood, if I ever get u mad at me, imma get chocolates to get u to forgive me.

You giggled at his reply to your message and started to type a response. When you felt someone poke you, you looked to Hyun Ji and saw that Han Ssaem was entering the class. You locked your phone without replying and sat up straight ready for the next lesson.

Chapter 5

[binniesthighs]

hi!! i rly liked your first writing it was so cute and you described jisung so well too! can i request a friends to lovers with han? kinda slow burn like they're really good friends but jisung gets jealous of her close friend and reader secretly likes him too but she doesnt wanna ruin the things between them so... one day they get into a fight and they end up making out😳 bc shes like "wtf we're friends" smut is ok but just a make out would be fine too the details r up to u💗

why yes you can! Thank you for requesting hehe you are my first ask ever  ♡ I hope that you like it, here’s some best friend ‘sungie for ya :)   

all yours | reader x jisung |

Paring: self-insert, female reader x han jisung

Genre: fluff ‘n a lil bit of smut & angst  

Tags: student!reader, bestfriend!jisung, lab partner!felix (haha), friends to lovers, mutual pining, best friend au, college au, jealousy, slow-ish burn, mentions of exams, some yelling, reader is secretly whipped for jisung (and jisung for the reader), explicit language, marking, that good good makin’ out

Word count: 2.4k

“Hey!”

The little ball of paper that you had crinkled up bounced off Jisung’s arm with a soft pat.

“What happened to studying together? You said that you were gonna quiz me.”

Jisung’s eyes popped up from his phone screen looking a little bewildered. “Sorry, I just...got a little distracted.

“Distracted? Looking at what?”

“Oh, nothing.” He placed his phone down, clicking it off.

“Is “nothing” code for some girl’s Instagram?” You dished him out a teasing smirk. “I think you forget that I know you better than you know yourself sometimes.”

Jisung shuffled the papers in front of him pretending like he had something to do. “Psh. I was not.”

“--Does she go to school here?”

“I told you, I said no.” He furrowed his brow trying to look as serious as possible, but that was nearly impossible for someone as naturally adorable as him. “Why are you drilling me? Aren’t you supposed to be doing some work right now?”

“~So are you~” You teasingly sang back to him, giving him a kick under the table just for good measure.

Jisung threw your balled up paper ball back to you. “Let’s just get back to what we were doing so we can leave. I don’t wanna end up like him.”

He nodded over to the end of your table where a student had fallen asleep mid-chapter. His nose twitched and he snorted a little bit. You knew exactly what Jisung meant, you didn’t want to be at the library at 11pm on a Tuesday either; it was your better judgement that told you.

“Can we get food after this?” Jisung asked after approximately five minutes of “working.”

“Sounds good to me.” You quipped, barely allowing your eyes to leave your computer screen. You found that you always had to try you best to let him not distract you. He was really good at that.

You slid a stack of index cards in front of him. “Ask me these? I’m having a hard time getting the Latin names down...if you’re not busy?”

“Nope!” He piped, and shoved his notebook away.

“Okay!” He said with determination and a little bounce. He fixed his oversized hoodie before starting, looking adorably lost in the fabric.

He asked you the first question, but it barely met your ears. There you were, getting distracted by him again.

screw you Han Jisung, you thought to yourself.

☆��*。☆。

“I just don’t understand how you make sense of all that crap, I could never be a science major like you are.”

“--And I could never understand production like you do.”

“And this is why we work.” Jisung grinned with smiling eyes while he opened the library door for you. “I’m starving, I can’t stop thinking about--”

“--Y/n??” A voice called from behind the two of you.

The two of you whipped your heads back to see a loveable looking blonde and freckled boy bounding to catch up with you. It was Felix, your lab partner from zoology. The two of you were nothing more than classroom friends, but his friendly kindness was always something that brightened up your terrible 9 am lab.

“Felix!” You beamed, holding the door so it wouldn’t close on him. “Are you here studying for the exam as well?”

“Oh yeah, I just...my brain couldn’t take it any more,” He sarcastically mimed his head pains, “I just need to get some sleep now.”

“I just don’t get how they expect us to know all of those phyla like its nothing.”

“I know right?’ He chuckled.

Next to you, Jisung silently poked at the elevator button to go down.

“Is it alright if I head down with you guys?”

“Of course!” You motioned him in.

Once the doors had closed, the three of you found a different corner of the small box to plant yourselves in.

“shit-sorry, Felix, I didn’t introduce you, this is Jisung.”

“Hi!” Felix shone, and Jisung gave him a curt nod back.

Felix waved to two of you goodbye, leaving you in the nighttime snow. You noticed that as Felix walked away he had a little bounce to his step; and you couldn’t help but crack a little smile.

“Our usual?” Jisung asked you with a little edge to his voice.

You linked your arm around his, letting out a little shrill sound when the fabric of your two coat sleeves met. “Sounds good to me!” You nuzzled up into him while both of your bodies’ heat intermingled.

The two of you walked on under the streetlights which illuminated the falling flakes in streams of light. You never loosened your grip, as had become your habit lately when the two of you walked around. Jisung never seemed to mind; the two of you had been mistaken for a couple more than enough times thanks to it. When it did happen, it didn’t phase you at all. Being close to Jisung was like second nature to you.

The whole walk over Jisung never uttered a word, which was uncharacteristic of his usual boisterous self.

“Is everything okay?”

He sniffled, “Yeah, I think I just got kinda tired out of nowhere.”

“Ah.” You mouthed, and squeezed his arm a little harder.

After a moment’s silence, he somberly announced, “If you’re in the same class as him, maybe you should study with him.”

“Huh.” You tsked. “Yeah, I mean I never thought about that before...I guess that could do me some good.”

You looked slightly up to him: a product of him being slightly taller than you. His brown eyes remained stoic, and you couldn’t figure out why. You hated it when he wouldn’t tell you what was wrong, but he was also stubborn at letting up.

“But thank you for helping me tonight! You know that I reeealy appreciate it.” You turned your tone as cutesy as you could--Jisung hated it, but you knew that it could bring a smile to his face.

His gaze softened a bit. “Anytime. You’d do the same for me.”

☆。*。☆。

Jisung rested his head on your shoulder on the bus ride home with his phone weakly held in his hand. One more bump in the road and you knew that it would go flying so you carefully took it into your own lap where it would be safe. You wouldn’t dare moving an inch because you had a feeling that he had closed his eyes. Time had slipped past 1am, and you had to keep fighting yawns yourself. The bus driver had been blasting the heat, so it wasn’t hard at all for you to feel cozy.

You glanced down at his open hand in his lap. It looked exactly like he was beckoning for you to scoop it up in your own. You wondered what what happen if you did. What would he think of it? Would he think anything of it? You had held hands before, but every time you had it had been under purely platonic pretenses. If you just grabbed it now, what would the pretenses be then? The two of you cozied up on a bus: that was something that couples did.

You shut your eyes closed tightly and tried your best to banish all the thoughts clouding your head.

Jisung’s hand twitched, looking even more inviting.

screw you Han Jisung.

☆。*。☆。

[7:14pm]

jisung: you want to come over? Changbin is cooking and i don’t wanna eat whatever he’s making alone

[7:31pm]

me: sorry, I’m studying with Felix at the library, I think that we are gonna be here late. It’s all the Latin, I’m drowning in the Latin, Sung.

I’m sorry.

see you Friday once I’m out of this hell?

[7:34pm]

jisung: see you friday.

☆。*。☆。

You pounded on the door to Jisung’s apartment with your phone in hand, the white screen showing you the number that you had worked so hard for.

“Open the door!” You called giddily. “Jisung! I know that you’re in here, we need to celebrate! ~I can treat youuu~”

Just as you were about to knock again, the door swung open, revealing a wet haired Jisung in his grey sweats and tee. His brown strands of hair were scattered around his head while he rubbed at them with a towel.

“Shit! Can’t I shower?” He jested.

It took all your will power not to ogle him more. He looked devastatingly handsome, but you swallowed down how utterly flustered he had made you.

You cleared your throat, “Uh...sorry...” then remembered your phone in your hand. “I got a 96! Can you believe it! I’m even surprised too, when I was taking the test I just got so nervous...”

“All that studying paid off huh?” He cockily rose an eyebrow. “You can go ahead and thank me now, without my help...” He shrugged with a grin.

You invited yourself in and threw your bag down at the door like you usually did.

“Thank youuu” You sung. “Oh! And studying with Felix really paid off too.” You took off your shoes, thinking of how nice it had been to finally study with someone who knew your class topics. Not that Jisung wasn’t helpful, but you and Felix were on the same page. “He knew it all way more than I did, so he was super helpful. I forgot to text him--”

Jisung closed the door behind you with a slam that made you jump. He moved away from you, not meeting your eyes. The air around the two of you suddenly became thick with something that did not feel as excited as you just were.

“...do you wanna maybe watch a movie?” You moved closer. “Or we could get some deliv--”

“--Why even bother coming over here?” Jisung suddenly huffed.

“What?”

Jisung’s words flew out of his mouth sharply, “If he was so helpful? What are you doing here, huh?”

“Jisung, I don’t understand...” Your heartbeat quickened in your chest and you felt anxiety swell there as well. Jisung never spoke to you like this. He never sounded like this.

He growled out a little sound in frustration. “I-I just...can’t believe you--”

“--Me? Jisung, what did I do?” You threw your arms up, genuinely confused.

He ran his fingertips over his temples and let out a deep exhale. “Y/n, don’t pretend like you don’t know what you’re doing.”

Your temper started to become seething and you felt your ears get hot. “Tell me Jisung. Tell me what I did. And while you’re at it, what has been up with you these past few days? Being short with me, and distant, yeah-I’ve noticed...what are you doing??”

Jisung heaved breaths in and out of his chest, then ran a hand through his hair. He still couldn’t meet your eyes.

For a moment, a flash of panic surged in your head, making your heart ache with an unexpected pain. You truly didn’t know what he had meant, and if you had made a mistake, you knew it could mean loosing him. God, that was the last thing in the world you wanted. It always was.

“If I did something wrong tell me because clearly I don’t know!!” You yelled back at him, straining your throat.

He walked up to you, then grabbed your shoulders with a firm grip. Finally, you saw his eyes, brown and soft, holding a type of pain that you hadn’t seen in him before.

screw you, Han Jisung.

“Jisung, I--”

You were shoved by the shoulders in milliseconds to the door behind you, the impact nearly knocking the wind out of you. You gasped in your surprise, but your mouth was immediately shut by Jisung ramming his lips into yours. His hands needily took your face into his palms with his mouth blazing with hunger for you.

It took you a moment to realize what had just happened and steady yourself after being so startled. His lips were so soft and warm, your brain had a hard time recognizing that he was really doing this. His haste made no indication of stopping so you let yourself do what you had wanted to do for years: you kissed him back with everything that you had.

As soon as you did so, he let out little desperate moans between your lips in response. You let your arms wrap around his back and he fell into them just right. Naturally you took one of your hands to the back of his head and tangled up your fingers in his hair. God, it all felt so good. Jisung snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you into him with force, crashing your hips together.

The two of you clumsily made your way to the couch where he threw you down and crawled over top of you just as fast. He moved to your neck then traversed around your skin, sending shivers all through your body. Your hands eagerly found his back where you dug into him, wanting to be impossibly close. To your side, he carefully took your hand in his, weaving all of your fingers together.

Jisung pressed down into you and began to suck at your neck without holding himself back. It was such an intense feeling that couldn’t help but moan out something you didn’t know you could. You felt his mouth turn into a grin on your skin while he continued. It stung a little when he removed his lips, but he gently kissed each mark as if he was soothing it once he was done. He stopped to admire the little array of purple bruises he had made.  

“I want you all to myself.”  Jisung’s voice was hoarse, but still honey-covered in desire.

“What are we doing?” You asked him in breathless disbelief.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He whispered, and appeared to calm his breaths. “I don’t care.”

"You don’t?”

“Why should I?” He cocked his head and used his free hand to caress your face.

“--That this could change things between us?”

“You don’t want it too?” He looked a little confused.

You felt a warmth rush to your cheeks.  “--No! I do, I do...trust me.”

“Then can I kiss you some more?” Jisung grinned down at you as loving as he always had, but this time it meant something slightly different.

“...please.”

He lowered back onto you, connecting your lips once more. Jisung’s tongue languidly smoothed onto yours and you already felt intoxicated by the feeling. You tightened your fingers around his.

I’ve always been yours.

[dirtyoatmeall]

The ways I love you (Matsukawa x reader)

A/N: I love Mattsun so much. I think out of all the characters, he’s the one I’d most likely end up actually dating, not to mention time-skip mattsun is a whole nother conversation. anyway I hope you enjoy, I just really love him.

Pairing: Matsukawa x Reader (gn pronouns but references to reader being able to be pregnant)

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Mentions of 18+ activity as a joke, spoilers for s2 (spring preliminaries), me not proof reading, me not knowing how to describe coming down from your tiptoes

--

Matsukawa liked to think he was observant both on and off the volleyball court. But as he watches you laugh from afar, head thrown back, holding onto your friends shoulder for balance, he can’t help but think, how did he not notice you before? It was enough to stop him in his tracks, unconsciously tuning out the sounds around him, blatantly staring at you as you continue to talk to your friends, a wide grin on your face as you gesture wildly, pausing every so often to laugh at the story you were telling. It took Hanamaki walking in front of him, blocking his view of you, for him to come back to his senses. He heard Hanamaki calling his name, waving a hand in front of his face.

“Hey earth to Mattsun, you okay bro?” He nodded in response, still thinking about your laugh, he wanted to know what you were talking about. He wanted to know your name. Hanamaki turns to look at where Matsukawa was focused so intently on before, grin breaking out when he saw your group. “Ahh, so that’s what’s got your attention? And which one was so lucky to literally stop you in your tracks?” He rolled his eyes in response to Hanamaki’s teasing, when Iwaizumi appeared next to him, raising an eyebrow at Matsukawa. “What’re you talking about?” Hanamaki is happy to fill the spiker in, and Matsukawa returns his gaze to your group again, before furrowing his eyebrows.

He watched Oikawa saunter up to your group, he must have called your name since you turned to face him, eyebrow raised. The setter says something that causes you to roll your eyes, hands on your hips and you respond, teasing smile evident. In true Oikawa fashion, he responds by pouting dramatically before scanning the courtyard, face lighting up when he spots his group of friends. He grabs your wrist, you wave to your friends before following and Matsukawa’s eyes widen when he realizes Oikawa is bringing you over to them. Did Oikawa see him staring? Were you somehow dating the setter? Matsukawa wracks his brain for any memories on a new fling when you two finally reach the group.

“Iwa-chan! (Y/N)-chan still won’t agree to being the manager! Won’t you convince them?” Oikawa says dramatically, letting go of your wrist in favor of attempting to lean on Iwaizumi, who promptly shoves him off, rolling his eyes. “And why would I do that? I don’t want to subject them to dealing with you anymore than they have to already.” You laugh at Iwaizumi’s insult as Oikawa cries out in offense. (Y/N), Matsukawa repeats your name in his head, wanting to commit it to memory. Though all thoughts immediately halt at the sound of your voice.

“I never said I wouldn’t, I just asked how you were gonna make it worth my while?” Your voice had a teasing lilt to it as you raised your eyebrows in anticipation of the setters response. Iwaizumi rolls his eyes again, grumbling about you egging him on. Oikawa brightens up, a flirty smile adorned as he leans closer to you, eyebrows wiggling up and down. “I know exactly what can make it worth your while.” You throw your head back, loud cackles of laughter filling the air, Hanamaki and Matsukawa chuckle as Oikawa pouts, crossing his arms childishly. After a few moments your laughter dies down, you make a show of wiping tears from your eyes before smiling. “Alright, just because I’ll get to more chances to make fun of you, I’ll do it.” Oikawa seems to ponder being excited or offended by your agreement, choosing the former and hugging you while Iwaizumi pinches the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Thankfully Hanamaki says what was on both of their minds.

“Soo, are you guys like dating or something?” He tries to be casual, eyebrow raised when Iwaizumi snorts, “I can tell you there is no chance of that happening, ever.” Oikawa sputters as you nod, nose scrunched in disgust.

“Let me put it this way,” you pause, thinking before your lips raise into a sly grin. “I would rather be spit roasted by the coaches of Shiratorizawa and Nekoma before I’d hold hands with Tooru romantically.”

Oikawa jaw drops as the rest of them crack up at your words. “(Y/N)-chan! You have to be spending too much time with Iwa, you didn’t used to be this mean!” You roll your eyes playfully before turning to the duo to clarify.

“In all seriousness, I used to live in the same neighborhood as Tooru and Iwa when we were kids, we went to school together up until middle school, when I moved to Fukushima, but I’m back now! And I gotta make up for all the time I missed preventing him from getting a big head, obviously Iwa hasn’t been doing his job.” Said ace narrows his eyes at you, grumbling before Oikawa cuts him off. “It was horrible not having you here (Y/N)-chan! We’re never going to let you leave again!” You smile softly at his admission, and Matsukawa wonders if he’s sick, why else would he be sweating in the middle of November?

--

Months later Matsukawa realizes that he wasn’t sick on that chilly November day in his first year, he was, much like now, infatuated with you. While he wasn’t sure exactly what his feelings for you were, he knew he had it bad. Ever since he noticed you, he started seeing you everywhere. In the hallway, when he was glancing out the window during class, anywhere he was, his eyes always found their way to your form. It didn’t help that Oikawa stuck to his promise, and you became an integral part of their group. He was seeing you at all times of day, even when he closed his eyes at night, images of you, laughing and smiling softly, danced behind his eyelids.

And of course, it did not go unnoticed. Hanamaki was, unsurprisingly, the first to find out. Now whenever he caught Matsukawa staring at you, he’d grin amusedly at the middle blocker, wiggling his eyebrows. Iwaizumi was even seeming to catch on, a knowing look on his face, small grin present whenever Matsukawa would flush slightly after contact with you, whether it was a seemingly innocent hug between friends, or you hanging off his arm dramatically while teasing Oikawa. Speaking of the setter, he was, without a doubt, the last person Matsukawa wanted to find out about his, whatever they are, feelings for you.  But he hid it well, only a few moments of weakness compared to all the other times he kept it together around you, however hard it was.

--

It was in his third year that Matsukawa was able to name his feelings for you, love. Love in the way his heart skips a beat whenever you laugh, in the way his hand twitches to lace his fingers through yours, in the way he can’t imagine not seeing you every day, in the way he fantasizes about a life with you; seeing you first thing in the morning, slow dancing in the kitchen to a song no one can hear but you two. He no longer hid it well, openly gazing at you with a fondness anyone could see was only for you. It seemed the whole world knew of his feelings, except you.

Oikawa found out about 6 months after you returned, the setter vowing to keep it a secret, saying something about letting fate bring the two of you together. Matsukawa no longer tried to hide it, though he wasn’t going to confess anytime soon, he wasn’t above shameless flirting, lingering touches pairing with his love-stricken gaze. Either you were the most oblivious person ever, or you knew but elected to stay silent. He wasn’t sure which he preferred.

It all came to a head the day they lost their chance at nationals.

The loss to Karasuno was hard on everyone, the third years especially. After Coach Irihata talked to the players, you step forward, getting their attention. Unshed tears shining in your eyes you smile sadly at the team. “I’m not a coach, and obviously not a player, so I know my words don’t hold as much value as they would if I was. But I don’t care. I am so proud of all of you. You worked so hard to get here, and even though the outcome wasn’t what we hoped for, I don’t want anyone blaming themselves, not a single one of you. You gave it your all, and I want you to be proud of that. I’m obviously not planning on being a motivational speaker after we graduate, but you get the idea.” A few of the players chucked, and more of them looked tearful than when you started.

For a moment you worry your words did more harm than good, until Iwaizumi steps forward, enveloping you in a hug. You let out a strangled cry/laugh when Oikawa follows his lead, the other third years joining and eventually the whole team, and you smile despite the tears running hotly down your cheeks. Over the 3 years you’ve been manager you have come to love and be loved by the team. As the group hug disperses to pack up for the bus ride home, you and the other third years linger, sharing bittersweet smiles.

The bus ride home is silent. The loss having drained the energy from the team, as many of the players are sleeping. You sit next to Matsukawa, head resting on his shoulder. As you start to drift off you slip your hand into his, sighing contentedly before succumbing to sleep. He looks down at your sleeping form, squeezing your hand as he smiles sadly. The day before he had briefly entertained the idea of confessing if they win nationals, but now, especially after your speech, he knows he can’t wait.

He gently shakes you awake when the bus arrives at the school, his heart stutters when you blearily look up at him, a tired smile gracing your features. He doesn’t let go of your hand when the two of you disembark, the first years telling you to go home when you try to help put stuff away. You tear up again, in appreciation for your underclassmen, looking up when Matsukawa squeezes your conjoined hands. He smiles and tugs you along, waving goodbye to the team before the two of you join Hanamaki and walk to the train station.

The train ride is peaceful, Hanamaki and Matsukawa talking quietly while you resume your place next to the latter, leaning into his side. You wave when Hanamaki gets off, and you sit in comfortable silence until your stop comes up. You look at Matsukawa, confused, when he gets off the train with you, He tugs you forward. “C’mon, I’ll walk you home.” You try to ignore the butterflies in your gut and the heat in your face as you nod.

A few blocks from your house he stops under a streetlight, gently pulling you in front of him. Your eyebrows furrow as you search his face for any tell for his actions. You don’t know what to make of what you find instead, blush deepening when he takes a step closer and cups your cheek with the hand not occupied with your own. “(Y/N),” He sighs, and you think it sounds the prettiest when it comes from his lips. “Originally I wasn’t planning on ever telling you, and I thought about doing it at nationals,” He pauses, and you nuzzle into his hand, shifting your other hand to intertwine with his, a quick squeeze urges him to continue. “but since that’s not going to happen, now seems as good a time as any.” He takes a deep breath, taking another step forward, now toe to toe with you.

“I’m in love with you, have been for who knows how long. Well, I guess I do.” He huffed a laugh, “Probably since first year honestly. I remember the first time I saw you, I literally stopped in my tracks you were so beautiful. God, I sound so lame.” You laugh with him this time, tightening your grip on his hand. He clears his throat before continuing. “I know we haven’t really discussed our plans after graduation, but I wanted you to know, just in case there was some possibility. And when I say I love you, I mean it. I love you in the wake up next to you every morning and make you breakfast kinda way. The buy a cat together kinda way. And I understand if you don’t feel the same, I don’t want you to feel pressured, I just couldn’t not tell you, ya know? I think it would eat at me for the rest of my life if I didn’t.” He wasn’t looking at you anymore, choosing to look at your joined hands instead. Your free hand comes up to cover the one on your cheek, and he looks up to meet your gaze.

He wasn’t expecting the shine of unshed tears or the tender look on your face. You smile, and his heart does the little back flip it does whenever you direct one at him, but there’s something different about this smile, it holds unspoken promises behind it, ones he wants so desperately to hear come tumbling from your lips. “Issei,” You breath, and he shudders slightly hearing you say his name with so much emotion. “I love you too. I love you in the wake up next to you every morning smiling even though you have the worst morning breath,” He snorts and your smile grows as you continue, “I love you in the adopting two cats together kinda way, because we didn’t want it to be lonely when we’re away. I have loved you since the day you told Tooru you were my baby daddy,” You laughed brightly as you recall the memory, the horror on Oikawa’s face when Matsukawa went along with the prank.

“You fell into the role so effortlessly, and yet I never regretted a prank more, because after feeling you pull me against your chest, wrapping an arm around my waist for the day, I was hooked. Constantly thinking of ways I could touch you again.” Your face was a deeper shade of pink, bordering on red, and Matsukawa smiled as he recalled the memory, and how you were more touchy afterwards.

You turn your head, softly kissing the palm of his hand, eyelashes tickling his fingers. Your hand moves to lightly grasp his wrist when his hand moves to your neck, resting on the side for a moment before cupping the back of your head as he leaned down slowly, committing the sight of you; eyes fluttered closed, lips slightly parted, to memory. Impatient, you push yourself upward on your toes, closing the small space between you as your lips finally meet.

You untangle your hand from his, moving to bring both upwards, over his chest and around his neck as you tilt your head slightly, deepening the kiss. His hand tangles into your hair and his other hand moves to settle on the small of your back, bringing you closer as your lips move against each other slowly, pouring years of love and pining into the kiss, savoring the feel of the other. After what feels like forever, you part, panting slightly, out of breath. You rest your weight back on the balls of your feet, smiling as Matsukawa follows you, bending down to rest his forehead against yours. You close your eyes for a moment, processing what just happened, and what it means for the future.

You open your eyes as he kisses you again, this time shorter, but no less sweet. You have a dopey smile on your face when he pulls away, standing to his full height. He untangles his hand from your hair, running his fingers through it for good measure and takes your hand, which had fallen back to your sides, before nodding in the direction of your house. “C’mon, I said I’d walk you home, and we’ll be here all night if we have it your way.” He teases at the pout on your features when he pulls you along the street. 

You turn to him once you reach your steps, hesitant to leave. His hand cups your cheek again, directing your attention back to his face. “Hey, what’s wrong? You look like I’m gonna disappear if you leave.” You bite your lip slightly instead of answering, though he can see it in your eyes. He smiles softly and pulls you into a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise. I’m not going to miss out on a chance to rub it in Makki’s face that I got a girlfriend before him.” You laugh lightly into his chest, heart swelling at the word. You breath in the scent of his cologne, squeezing your interlaced hands before stepping back,

“Okay, tomorrow. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He grins at the obvious reluctance present on your features. He lands a quick peck on your cheek, ruffling your hair. He waits until you close the door behind you before leaving. He checks his phone as he walks, cursing as he realizes he only has a few minutes until the last train of the night departs.

[thebisexualdogdad]

Kinktober day 10: J is for jealous sex with Brett Talbot

It was the annual game of Devenford prep versus Beacon Hills high, you and Brett were warming up on the field together when the opposing team arrived.

“I don’t know why they bother showing up... Devenford always wins.” Brett sneers.

“What did we just learn in lit class? Oh yeah ‘arrogance comes before the fall',” You tell him.

He playfully rolls his eyes and you go back to your warm ups. 

Liam walks by and Brett can see him blatantly check you out. 

"Looking good Y/N, looking real good," he grins at you. 

You put your hand on Brett's chest to stop him from approaching Liam, "cut him some slack babe, I heard he and Theo broke up."

"Doesn’t matter... sure I feel bad for the kid- don’t tell him that- but that doesn’t mean he can hit on you.”

“You jealous Talbot?”

He doesn't answer but you can see his eyes change colors and he's ready pounce in the blink of an eye. 

That adrenaline doesn't go away during the game, he's playing rougher than he normally would and he goes after Liam every chance he gets.

You “accidentally” trip him mid rush so he doesn’t plow Liam into the ground.

“What the hell,” Brett growls.

“Sorry… misstepped,” you say before running off to return to the game. 

You guys win the game as predicted, but man Brett was jealous. 

He was quiet the entire bus ride home and during the teams celebratory dinner for kicking Beacon Hills' ass yet again. 

You and Brett had already planned on hanging out at your house after the game with your parents being out of town and when you arrived Brett was quick to have you pinned to the wall of the foyer kissing your neck.

You dropped your keys as Brett shut the door with his foot and pinned your wrists above your head.

“Someone’s angry,” you point out, "and hard,” you nudge his boner with your knee. 

"I don't like it when people try to take what's mine," he says kissing you roughly. 

"Liam has no chance of getting me," you laugh. 

"Doesn't matter, I'm gonna make sure everyone knows who you belong to," he growls picking you up and carrying you to your bedroom down the hall.

“Oh here we go," you say, lightly kicking your feet.

Brett throws you onto the bed with a slight bounce.

“Strip.”

You remove your clothes as ordered and Brett does the same. 

He climbs atop the bed, positioning himself above your face and angles his cock towards your mouth. 

"Suck." 

You liked bossy Brett.

You wait until he presses the tip to your lips so you take him into your mouth.

“That’s it baby... suck on it nice and slow.”

Brett’s eyes slowly roll back into his head as you blow him

His thighs tremble as your head bobs up and down but your neck is starting to get tired so you tap his hip and he gets the message. 

You release his cock and he moves down your body, raising your waist into the air and toying with your hole with his finger.

Brett puts your legs on his shoulders elevating you more as he probes your ass.

You watch him suck his own fingers and push them in, making you gasp. 

Once he feels like you're prepped enough he pushes the tip of his cock in giving a few shallow thrusts to torment you. 

"You want me to fuck you Y/N?" He asks.

"Yes," is all you can groan. 

"I don't know if I should after you let Liam hit on you," he grunts. 

"Please Brett it'll never happen again," you beg.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard... you won’t want anyone’s cock but mine got that?” Brett punctuates his sentence with a harsh thrust.

"God yes," you moan as he begins to pound you. 

Your whole body is shaking with how hard he's thrusting into you, your teeth are gritting and your hands are gripping at the sheets.

Your bed is shaking and squeaking as Brett pounds you with a harsh steady pace.

“Gonna make sure you can’t walk after," Brett grunts as his nails are harshly digging into your thighs near his head and you can feel the sting coursing through your veins. 

He bites at your calf and you start stroking your straining cock desperate for a release.

Brett grabs your hand and pulls it away, “I don’t think so.”

"Brett," you groan.

"Not 'til I'm done with you," he smiles, pounding into you relentlessly.

“That’s... so... mean...” You pout.

“Well then maybe next time you won’t make me jealous." 

"Fuck," you moan loudly has Brett hits just the right spot inside you. 

Brett was never a particularly jealous guy but something about Liam always got under his skin and the result you were finding was incredibly hot.

Brett was on the verge of turning into his wolf form out of pure anger, his eyes glowed and he only sped up his movements. 

In seconds he was cumming deep inside you and you moaned as he roughly fucked you through his climax.

You’re so distracted by it that you barely registered your own orgasm roll over you in waves.

Brett comes down from his high and pulls out, laying next to you.

Brett takes a few minutes staying silent as he calms down. 

He gets up from the bed and grabs a towel, dabbing the mess on your stomach gently. 

You smile at the complete shift in his personality now that he's fucked his jealousy out.

“Feel better now?” You ask.

Brett nods and kisses you.

“Good cause you kept your promise jerk... I can’t feel my legs.”

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Billy Loomis

(Not my gif)(Requested by @loodloottoot)

- You met Billy when the two of you ended up in the same class. He noticed you while looking around the room and was immediately taken with you.

- All throughout class, he kept sneaking glances at you, barely paying attention to the teacher as they talked. When the bell rung, he sat back in his seat and watched you leave, deciding that he had to have you right then and there.

- He starts out by doing the typical ‘I have a crush on you’ secret staring and learning more about you; most likely through Stu or by listening in on your conversations. He wants to make sure that you’re the one for him before he shoots his shot; he’s artful when picking people that he actually wants to date, there’s more steps involved.

- Once he’s gathered enough data on you, he’ll sit next to you in class, lean over, and introduce himself with a charming smile. You introduce yourself back; most likely a little flustered by the sudden attention, and then class will start, ending your potential conversation.

- He tries to talk with you all week but his plans are always foiled by something or someone. One of you will show up to class too late, someone will take the seat next to yours, you’ll be busy talking to a friend, someone will distract him and you’ll disappear; and so on. It frustrates him more than he cares to admit.

- Finally, he figures that he has to work a little bit harder so he strategically waits outside of the school with some of his friends. I say strategically because he made sure he had a perfect view of the doors everyone leaves out of when classes end.

- The instant he spots you, he excuses himself and jogs over, greeting you and asking what you’re planning on doing after school. The two of you strike up a bit of a conversation before you’re forced to say goodbye and board your bus. It may seem anticlimactic but to him, it’s a crucial point in your budding relationship.

- After that, he just seems to keep popping up wherever you are; in school at least. Unbeknownst to you, it’s not exactly a coincidence.

- The two of you form a bit of a friendship, and why wouldn’t you? He’s charismatic, fun to talk to, isn’t put off by anything, and pleasantly reserved so it feels like you’re special because he chooses to speak “with you of all people”. If you’re shy then congratulations, you’ve found the one person who is tactfully persistent enough to break down your walls.

- It’s probably a few months before anything of value happens, besides being integrated into his friend group and telling each other some of the things you usually don’t tell people.

- One day, while the two of you are walking to class, he asks if you like horror movies movies. When you ask him why, he tells you that he’s renting a few films and was wondering if you wanted to join him for a bit of a marathon.

- It’s sounds so casual that you’re sure he just wants to hang out as friends, but regardless, you agree.

- So you get to his house and the two of you are sat on his couch, some gorefest horror movie that he chose to watch playing on the tv. He excuses himself to go get a drink and when he comes back, he sits down beside you again although this time much closer than before.

- You try not to think any of it, even as his arm wraps around the back of the couch behind you. Well, you don’t think anything of it until you can feel his hand on your shoulder, fingers tracing shapes against the skin of your arm.

- You aren’t sure what to do, so you don’t do anything, staying perfectly still as you struggle to breathe properly, a flustered heat coursing through you. The two of you sit like that for a few long moments before he slowly pulls you into him and speaks.

“Y/n,” he says your name quietly, his voice deep. He pauses and waits for you to respond which you do so with a nervous hum. “I like you a lot. You know that, don’t you?”

“I like you too, Billy.” you respond in a near whisper, eyes focused on your lap.

“Good.” He whispers back, pressing his lips to your hot cheek as his hand finds the side of your face and he pulls you into a kiss.

- Lets hope that you’re sure about being with him because now that he has you, he certainly isn’t planning on letting you go anytime soon.

- Constant Pda. He likes having his hands on you at all times; it’s just a bonus that it shows everyone in the general vicinity “who you belong to”.

- Gentle forehead and cheek kisses.

- Hugs from behind where he nuzzles his face into your hair and jaw.

- Long makeout sessions. Once you start, he never wants to stop.

- Getting late night visits/sneaking out to see him. He shows up at your window pretty much whenever he feels like and has subsequently gotten very skilled at climbing up the side of your house.

- His favorite nickname for you is “sweetheart”. He just feels like it suits you and likes the little smile you get on your face when he calls you it.

- Cuddling? Billy would never admit it to anyone but he absolutely loves it. Oftentimes, he’s the big spoon, but he can’t deny that he loves it when you cradle him into your chest, especially when he’s tired or having a rough day.

- He lounges whenever he can so expect to be laid/leaned on, or to have him maneuver himself so that he’s laid back yet still has you close to or touching him.

- Long and deep conversations. The two of you experience existential crises together.

- You’re going to be around Stu a lot. The two of them are constantly hanging out so you and him are; most likely, going to be close as well.

- Sharing food with each other.

- Hanging out at the fountain.

- Horror movie dates.

- Constant movie references, quotes, and random facts.

- A Fall slut through and through. Falling leaves? Sexy. Pumpkins? Hot. Anything spooky? Orgasmic. He usually goes ape shit during holidays but during the fall, he goes ape shit for a whole season.

- He has a wonderful skill of popping up at the “right” times. You seem to constantly run into him and you aren’t sure if it’s really a coincidence or not.

- Random phone calls. Sometimes he plays around with you, other times he gets straight to the point.

- Back massages. He lets out these little moan like noises which make it really hard to think straight as you’re trying to innocently rub his back.

- Hand holding.

- Playing with each other’s hair. You’re constantly brushing his out of his eyes.

- He toys around with your things, either while he’s bored or to make you laugh, or just to fidget with something while you talk.

- He loves hearing you laugh and seeing you smile. He feels accomplished whenever it’s because of him, like he’s done something revolutionary.

- His fathers rarely home so you usually have the house to yourselves. He likes the privacy, being able to do whatever you please with no interruptions. It’s the teenage dream, isn’t it?

- Wearing his shirts, especially when you sleep over at his house.

- Surprisingly sensitive about certain things and somewhat easily offended. He takes you not wanting to touch, see, or be seen with him very personally, even if there’s a legitimate reason behind it.

- Weirdly enough though, he’s got a really high pain tolerance. He’s a trooper when he gets hurt and always amazes you with how little he reacts. He once sliced his hand open when the two of you were together and while you were wrapping something around the wound, all he did was let out a little “ow” and chuckle at you.

- He’s a bit reserved; he’s not a huge social butterfly so he prefers just hanging out with you and a few close friends. He’s friendly when he has to be, he just doesn’t really like talking to people he doesn’t know/know very well or being in huge crowds.

- He loves just watching you. He could look at your face for the rest of his life; all day, everyday, and still never get tired of seeing it.

- Intimate eye contact. There’s so much emotion behind his eyes when they meet yours. He could make you flustered with a single look.

- He never pushes you to do anything you don’t want to. He does such evil things most of the time, it’s nice to be seen as “the good guy” and to treat someone he cares about with respect.

- He’s a cunning bastard. If you need something done, he’ll find a way to do it. And if he needs something done, then he’ll find a way too and it may or may not involve you.

- Growing suspicious of him and his absences or the little odd things that just don’t add up. You swear he’s hiding something....

- He hangs back and waits for you when you want to go do something quick, like ask someone something or drop something off somewhere. It doesn’t ever annoy him; he likes being able to know what you’re doing.

- He’s definitely a bit overprotective and clingy at times. He’s got some deep rooted abandonment issues so he wants to make sure you’re not going anywhere or somehow going to get hurt and have to leave him because of it.

- He’s quick to interrupt when he can tell you’re uncomfortable and insults/scolds people when they upset you.

- He yearns for that motherly role in his life so he snaps at the chance to get it from your own mother when the two of you begin dating. It’s certainly a bit odd when you find him and her hanging out in your kitchen or how quick he is to agree to joining you on family outings/activities when you’re about to decline, but you are happy that he’s getting the very thing that he seems to need.

- Later in your relationship, he’ll open up to you more and tell you about his family life/ everything that goes on in his head. Just be patient because it’ll take him a while to completely trust you with everything.

- He’d rather cut off his own dick then cheat on you. He sees it as the ultimate sin, the worst thing you could ever do to a person ...besides abandon them.

- He has a mean streak when it comes to jealousy. He can’t stand the thought of you; his girl, with someone else or having someone else like you. He’s threatened and/or glared people down before if he’s thought they had a thing for you.

- Sensitive subjects really aren’t his strong suit. He always seems to say the wrong thing whenever he’s faced with them and it’s caused more than a few fights/arguments between the two of you.

- He gets angry when he’s angry, if that makes sense, although it really depends on what’s making him upset. He can either stay very calm or start rioting like a maniac, it’s really like flipping a coin with him. He does tend to flip out on other people rather than you though, so that’s good, right?

- He apologizes when he’s in the wrong and never expects you to if you aren’t. He also has a particular talent for worming his way back into your heart after he’s royally pissed you off.

- He doesn’t tell you he loves you constantly but he says it at the right moments so the words have a lot of meaning whenever he says them.

- Like I said, he doesn’t plan on letting you go anytime soon. You’re the one for him and he’s going to keep you with him for as long as he can.

[thomotomo]

Through everything part.1

Pairing: Namjoon x Male Reader

Summary: You have been dating Namjoon for a while. You’re now seeing him again for the first time in 4 years and both of you agreed on disclosing you relationship to everyone.  

Words: 3.5k

Today was a great day, maybe even the best day of your life, you were going to see your boyfriend after what felt like a lifetime without any physical interaction between both of you. In fact, it had been nearly 4 years since you last kissed you boyfriend.

Your boyfriend was an idol, Kim Namjoon from BTS, so he had a very tight schedule, and when he had breaks it didn’t always matched when you had breaks sadly. But this year, after a lot of discussions with him and him with his manager and the CEO, you were finally able to see each other.

You both met back in High-School when you went in Korea for an exchange that was organised by your school after they set up a pen pal thing between both schools. You ended up in his class, even though he wasn’t your pen pal, you discussed with him and both of you immediately hit off and you absolutely wanted to keep contact even after you left Korea.

It wasn’t easy every day, specially because both of you were in different time zones, so often you were the one who stayed up at night so you could discuss. You also sent each other packages, which was pretty expensive, so you didn’t do it often, probably for Christmas, each other’s birthdays and for each other’s new year (the “common one” and the Lunar new year). Luckily for both of you, your parents were cool enough to come in Korea every two days, mainly during summer break, so you could see each other. You also helped each other in your native languages and with English, soon you became fluent in both Korean and English and Namjoon easily spoke (your language) and English.

Slowly you fell for each other, you easily accepted your feelings, as you always wondered why you didn’t felt the same attraction toward girls like your comrades so in the end you agreed with your feelings pretty easily, but not saying anything to Namjoon, you didn’t want to lose the friendship you both had.

On the other hand It wasn’t easy for Namjoon, sexualities other than heterosexuality weren’t talked a lot, if not at all, in Korea, so he struggled to understand why he had such hard feelings toward a boy, especially when he knew he could still feel attracted to girls. Few times before you, he arbored a kind of a crush on other guys but tried to pass it as just finding them attractive and nothing else. He spent a lot of time online on anonymous servers, discussing about sexuality and trying to understand who he was and what his sexuality was. In the end he determined that he was fitting the definition of pansexual pretty well and thus, adopted it for himself and internet friends.

He thought few times about coming out to his parents, but he read so much stories of Korean who were left by their families once they came out, and even though he tried to drop clues about him and test their reactions to LGBT+ people on TV shows or something he didn’t find the force in himself to come out to them, too scared. He also kept that from you, in case you didn’t want to be friend with him anymore.

You both didn’t talk about your feelings to each other and life followed its pace. You congratulated him when he told you about the song he wrote for another band and when he spoke to you about the group he’ll be in. In return he was happy for you when he learned that you graduated high school and got accepted to the college you wanted to go to.

In 2013, when you were both 18 you organized your trip in Korea, alone this time, so you could enjoy “fully” the trip alone. You met Namjoon at the airport and congratulated each other for graduating high school. You went to deposit all your thing at the hotel, and then you both walked around Seoul, him showing you his favourite places since he started to live at Big Hit’s dorms. He was allowed to go back home so you went and installed a bed for you to sleep in. You were happy to see his parents once again, they were always sweet to you, so it was always a pleasure to see them again. It was the same day that you came out to each other.

Around midnight you were both laid in the bed when Namjoon whispered:

“Hey…”

“Yes?”

“Would you stay by my side no matter what?”

“Of course Namjoon! Why are you asking me that?”, you stood on your forearms, looking at him.

“I… Need to admit you something…”, he was still laid in the bed, looking at the ceiling

“You can tell me everything, I’ll be here to support you.”

He took a deep breath.

“I’m… Pansexual. I can be attracted to everyone no matter their gender...”

You smiled at him softly and sat on the edge of your bed.

“It’s okay, I have to admit something too then.”

He turned his head toward you, frowning a little bit.

“I’m gay, I’m exclusively attracted to men.”

He looked at you, a bit surprised. His brain was trying to understand what you meant as he sat on his bed too.

“You… Really?”

“Yep. Don’t feel ashamed to be you. It’s okay. If it’s not too indiscreet, are you out to your parents?”

“N-No… I’m pretty scared, you know I’ve read a lot of stories about LGBT+ Korean people that got thrown out of their households when they came out… And I’m becoming an idol, it could ruin my career and I don’t want to abandon my dream because of that…” He lowered his eyes, as if ashamed of what he just said to you.

You came closer, seating right next to him and hugged him.

“It’s okay if you’re not out, your safety always comes first. Don’t force yourself to come out if you’re not ready you’re not. I love you the way you are.”

“Y-You love me?”

You blushed, wondering why you said that. You looked away from him and tried to take off your hands from him but looked at you, whispering.

“I love you too…”

You flushed even harder and smiled at him while he was looking at you with bright eyes.

“(Y/N)… Can I kiss you?”

“Yes of course!”

Your faces slowly got closer from the other’s and your lips gently touched, his lips were soft, softer than you anticipated (and fantasized), you felt as if you whole body was set on fire. The kiss was a little bit sloppy, but you didn’t had much experience and you were pretty sure than he didn’t have much either.

You stopped kissing after a few seconds, air already starting to miss. You looked at each other and you observed a pink blush covering a great part of Namjoon’s face. He looked back at you with a bright smile and your heartbeat already fastened by all these emotions, quickened the pace even more.

“So… Boyfriends?”

“Yes Nam… Boyfriends.”

He smiled and hugged you before yawning. You smiled a little to him, touching his hair softly.

“Maybe we should go to sleep, you seem tired.”

“Yes, good idea. Goodnight (Y/N).”, he said as he left your arms and laid back in his bed.

“Goodnight Namjoon.”

You moved to your bed, falling asleep with a content smile.

This is how you spent the next 7 years with Kim Namjoon as your boyfriend, of course it wasn’t easy every day, as living in different time zones, and him being a full-time idol who grown more and more popular every day passing. Like every couples you had your fights and being unable to make up with either sex or cuddles was pretty frustrating. You were able to see him sometimes when he had breaks and you enjoyed and cherished those moments very dearly, but sadly you couldn’t see as often as you would. Nobody except your family knew that you were dating. Of course, at firsts your parents had been sceptical, thinking that it was just some hormonal teenagers feelings, but after noticing that you were serious and engaged in your relationship they supported you.

So here you were, inside your plane to Korea to meet your boyfriend you weren’t able to see in a while. You were quite excited, and the trip was long, so you slept for a long time, hoping that when you woke up, you’ll be in Korea or close enough. Sadly for you, you still had half of the trip that you still had to do.

You occupied yourself as much as you could do but luckily, in the end the trip went pretty quickly. You landed at Incheon airport after around 12 hours of flight, when you took your first steps on the Korean soil you couldn’t help but grin.

You took out your phone, sending a text to your lover, before going to the conveyor, reclaiming your belongings before going toward the public entry, you felt you phone vibrating, you opened it, it was a text from Namjoon that he was going to wait for you in a car at Incheon City Hall to avoid any commotions in the airport, he also gave you the brand, the colour and the first number of the car.

You moved as fast as you could to catch your bus, even though it was hard for you to know that you’ll have to wait for another hour before finally being reunited with him.

Once you reached the station you went to the parking and you looked around before noticing the car Namjoon was in. You grinned and trotted until you reached it. You knocked at the window and Namjoon perked, his eyes lighting up as he saw you. He got out of the car to meet you. Once he was close enough he lowered his mask and kissed you hard.

You felt a laughter bubbled in you throat. You put your luggage on the ground and put your arms around him. After a few seconds he stopped the kiss and put his mask back in place.

“I’m sorry we can’t kiss longer for the moment, but I want to avoid any risks for your to be exposed.”

“Of course don’t worry.”

He helped you with your bags and opened the trunk of his car where you put all your things. He closed it while you went to the front of the car and sat in the passenger sit. He came few seconds after you and took your hand with his, softly kissing it through his mask.

“I missed you so much (Y/N)”

“I missed you too… I’m glad to be able to spend some time with you.”

His eyes crinkled and he started the car, he told you that both of you were going back to his parents’ houses, it had been a while since you saw them (along with his sister) and you couldn’t help but being anxious about it, last time you saw them it was in 2016, and it was before Namjoon came out to them and told them you were dating. He told you they reacted pretty well, and it seemed it didn’t disturb them more than that when you did call with them, but it was the first time you’ll see them as Namjoon’s boyfriend and that was frankly scary for you.

After maybe an hour in the car you reached Namjoon’s family’s house. The car stopped and you felt you hand starting to shake slightly. Your boyfriend noticed that too and he took them in his hands.

“It’s okay, they love you already so much.”

“H-How?”

He snorted.

“I’ve known you for more than 10 years, and you didn’t saw my parents since I came out to them, of course you’re going to be stressed. It’s okay, they love you too.”

You nodded at his reassuring words as he quickly kissed your lips. You both left the car to get you things that were still in the trunk, you suddenly stilled when he closed it.

“I didn’t thought of that before but… How should I call them?”

“Aaah you worry too much love! Just call them as you did before they knew we were dating, it’s okay.”

You nodded and took you bags trying to calm down. You followed Namjoon until he reached the front door. He took out his keys and opened the door. As he did that and entered first in the house you could hear your heartbeat pounding loudly and you took a deep breath before following him.

“Appa! Eomma! I’m back and I brought back (Y/N)!”

As you took off your shoes you heard footsteps coming towards where you were located, when you rose you head both of his parents were here and Namjoon was kissing them hello.

You slightly bowed you head when they looked at you and quickly took your backpack.

“Hello Mrs. and Mr Kim! I’m glad to see you again… Erm here! I brought you a little something from (country) I hope you will like it.”

Behind them Namjoon laughed silently at your stress and you frowned at him discreetly. His parents told you to come closer and they hugged you. His mother spoke first.

“It’s okay (Y/N)-suh-bang, call us appa and eomma you’ve know us for a while and you’re dating Namjoon!”

You flushed bright as she called you her son-in-law, you weren’t engaged to Namjoon and she called you that way. Behind your boyfriend seemed to tell you with his eyes “See?”, you set your gaze back on his mother and smiled shily at her.

“Ah- A-Alright Mr- Eomma.” The back of your neck was burning as you said that, the new appellation being completely different from what you got used to.

His father stepped next, taking you hand in his and shaking it.

“Thank you for being friend and lover to Namjoon, you seem to take a great care of him, I’m glad he met you (Y/N).”

“I’m the lucky one A-Appa, he’s the one who brighten my days when I have a message of him.”

Namjoon blushed hard as you said that, and you flashed him a little grin. His parents thanked you for the gifts and you thanked them for allowing you to stay here for a little while.

“You can put your things in Namjoon’s bedroom, we will let you be lovebirds! Also, your sister will come later, she’s still in classes.”

Namjoon and you nodded before you moved your things into his bedroom. When all your suitcases where put in his bedroom he caught you off-guard by gripping your face with both his hands and kissing you deeply. You were surprised at first but then you relaxed and deepened the kiss. One of your hand slided around his waist, the other putting itself on his face. You sighed as his tongue poked at your lips and you gladly accepted it. You felt like two teenagers, but it was fair, it’s been a while since you got one of his mind-blowing kisses and you just wanted to pounce on him now. Sadly for you, you were in his parents’ house so it wouldn’t be a good idea to go all the way with his parents close enough to surprise you.

You stopped after a while, both of you panting Namjoon suddenly softly rubbed his nose against yours, making you laugh. He watched you with a little smile and suddenly looked a bit more serious.

“I… I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“Of course, you know I’ll always listen to you.”

He took your hands in his and kissed softly your fingertips.

“I’d like people to know about us.”

“What?”

“I want my fans to know about us, I don’t want to have to hide even more than usually to go on dates with you. I want… I just don’t want to hide anymore, the other members know about us because we’re literally living together and I had to tell them. And the company only know that I have a significant other because . We’ve been together for like 7 years, it’s not fair that we have to hide even more because I just want to claim my love for you from the highest building of Seoul and I just can’t…”

You were shocked at what he said, of course you badly wanted to announce how in love you were with Namjoon but you were also very scared, you knew by watching scandals and all that fans weren’t always happy when and idol dated another. How would it be for an idol and a random who’s a male on the top of that?

“Namjoon… That’s… I’d like to do that, but have you seen how fans reacts to straight couples between two idols? How would they about us? What about your company? If they want us to break up or I don’t know, if they don’t allow you to see me anymore? What about your carrier it could affect the group badly too!”

“I’ve thought about that and I know it could badly impact my carrier but maybe it would help other LGBT+ Koreans to not be scared of affirming themselves, and yeah… I want to tell the world how much you count for me.”

You enveloped him in a hug, your eyes were stinging a little bit from hearing his confession.

“I can’t promise everything will be okay but I’ll be with you through every step of it.”

You nodded and kissed his shoulder; you couldn’t help being worried for his safety and yours. You stood there hugging each other for a few instants.

“Let’s stop thinking about that for the moment, we should just have fun. Let’s chill and you can tell me what you did for the last few weeks.”

You both sat on his bed and talked for a few hours until you fell asleep to him talking about his latest concert.

Later that day Namjoon’s parents came looking for you as his sister arrived home. They lightly knocked and opened when none of you responded and found you intertwined, your head lied on Namjoon’s torso as he was enveloping you protectively. His parents smiled and took a picture before waking up you.

You both went downstairs where you saw his sisters. The five of you ate dinner, talking about everything and nothing but mainly catching up with the family. Once the meal was finished you stayed talking a bit more before you and Namjoon retreated so you could go sleep. You had both discussed with the family about Namjoon doing his coming out and announce your couple and they had agreed that you should talk about that to the other members and mainly to the company. Namjoon had sent a text to his manager asking to talk about your relationship with you being present

Once both of you showered (together of course ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) you installed the bed and both of you cozied yourself under the blanket and cuddled with Namjoon. You spent a good time kissing and whispering sweet words to each other. After a while you once again fell asleep peacefully together.

The next morning Namjoon woke you up sweetly with soft kisses on your back. You sighed softly as he asked you to wake up so you could take the breakfast with his family. The thought of a real Korean breakfast was making you salivate, it actually had been a while since you ate a real one, as you couldn’t get any fresh ingredients to prepare it in (country).

You were about to put some “normal” clothes when Namjoon told you it wasn’t worth it as everyone would be in pyjamas.

You ate the breakfast with the family, eating a little bit more than usual as you missed that kind of food. After a good half an hour eating and discussing you both left to prepare yourself to the meeting with Namjoon’s manager.

He helped you finding clothes that wouldn’t attract the fans and paparazzi’s attention, hiding the bottom of your face with a mask and putting your hair under a cap. Once you were ready both of you went to the car and you could feel the adrenaline rise inside of you and your body felt suddenly quite hot, and not the pleasurable kind. Namjoon turned his head to look at you and he smiled trying to reassure you.

“I can’t say everything is going to be okay and everyone will accept our relationship easily but I’ll be here for you, I won’t leave you alone with them."

He put his hand on your knee and caressed it with his thumb, trying to calm you down. After half an hour driving in silence, sometimes discussing to reassure you, you arrived in front of Big Hit. Luckily there was a parking underground for employees and idols. Once he parked his car he took your shaking hand in his and kissed it.

“Don’t worry love, I won’t leave your side. Everything is going to be okay.”

_________________

You nodded at him and exhaled a shaky breath before following him outside the car and to the elevator that was going to bring your to your death to where the manager was waiting for you.

A/N: Oh wow finally published this! And I decided to make it a small series of it! Please leave me your thoughts about it!

Well I hope you enjoyed this first part! And don’t hesitate to leave a comment and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[hqbbg]

big and bad.

pairing: matsukawa issei x reader

summary: the woods are a dark place.

genre: fantasy

word count: 1.6K

warnings: i didn’t have this beta’d and this was completed at 5:30am so there might be mistakes but uh, none otherwise that i can think of (but please message me to correct me)

author’s note: heyo! 🤪 I’m back with another HQHQ server collab fic! you can check out the other amazing writers’ works here! i have our dear mattsun for both collabs (and both parts are now posted)!! n e ways as always, I hope you guys enjoy! 💕

part two (18+)

Your legs are shaking and you can feel your knees threatening to give out. The cold air burns your lungs as you continue to run through the dark forest, swatting at branches in your way. You don’t know how long you’ve been running, but you know for a fact that you wish you hadn’t skipped gym class all those years ago in grade school.

After what feels like ages, you finally see a dim light ahead of you through the foliage. As if hit with a sudden burst of energy, you try to push through and feel so close to the end, the light practically within reach. Just as you’re about to get to it, your path is suddenly blocked and you’re shrouded in darkness once again. Halting to a stop, you panic, trying to get a grasp of what just happened.

Suddenly, you no longer feel alone and feel every nerve ending stand on edge. Your heart is pounding in your ears and you do everything in your power to refrain from doubling over to catch your breath. The sound of a branch breaking startles you and you whip around.

“You know, it’s not safe for people to be out alone in the woods at this hour.” You’re unsure of what you’re expecting, but it’s definitely not the silhouette of a tall man standing before you.

You open your mouth to speak, but no sound comes out.

“What shall I do with you?” His voice drawls lazily and in any other situation, you might consider being comforted by it.

While you can’t see him, you hear him move. He seems to be circling you and you do your best to remain facing him, though you’re beginning to feel your head spin.

“What’s the matter, doll?” You can practically hear him smirking. “Cat got your tongue?” You jump when his voice sounds right up against your ear.

Before you can react, you feel hands grab you and open your mouth to scream, only to jolt up from your bed in a cold sweat. Your heart is still pounding in your chest and you’re breathing heavily.

It was only a dream.

Laying back down, you sigh softly to yourself. Just as you’re about to close your eyes to go back to sleep, you hear your alarm go off and groan. Great.

You practically throw the blanket off and toss your legs over the edge of the bed, willing yourself up to begin your day. Glancing out your bedroom window, your eyes warily linger on the trees of the forest below before you force yourself to get washed up.

When your parents had asked for you to drop by for lunch, you were more than willing to accept, never one to turn down free food. However, as you begin your walk down the sidewalk towards the bus stop alongside the thick brush of trees, you feel a chill run down your spine and you want to go back home. Something just simply doesn’t feel right.

Swallowing your paranoia, you quicken your pace until you arrive at the small bus stop. You can’t help but feel as if you’re being watched, but when you look around, there’s hardly anyone around and their attention is fixed elsewhere. You hesitate for a moment before turning to glance towards the thicket of trees behind you and nearly jump when you meet a pair of dark gold eyes looking back at you. When you blink, they’re gone and the bus arrives.

Throughout the whole lunch, you do your best to forget the morning’s events. Your parents notice that something is off, but you brush it off with an excuse of just being tired. It’s true; you’ve been exhausted these past couple weeks with moving into your apartment while still trying to maintain the various responsibilities of life. Maybe that would explain the paranoia and the hallucinations—that’s what that was earlier, right?

As you step off the bus, the air feels colder and the sun is already setting. Where has the day gone? You should’ve left your parents’ home sooner before the sun had begun its descent. The streetlights around you flicker on to illuminate the sidewalk, but you see that your path home is blocked due to road work that’s scheduled to last all night long.

You resist the urge to let out a groan. It looks like the construction extends through the whole main road and the designated detour will take you an extra half hour to walk around. You look warily to your right towards the heavily wooded area that separates you and your building, hesitating momentarily. In all honesty, it would be faster to simply cut through the trees and if you’re quick, you might be able to make it before total nightfall.

Weighing your options, you figure you’re just being extra paranoid because of your dream—or rather, nightmare—and simply inhale deeply before stepping off the concrete towards the brush.

The wind whistles lowly and the setting feels eerily familiar. As you listen to the crunching of leaves and fallen branches under your feet, you’re reminded of the stories your grandmother had told you as a child.

“Beware of the big bad wolf,” she had said, though her sing-song voice hardly instilled the same fear that was snowballing within yourself at the moment.

You feel like you’ve been walking for nearly ten minutes, so you should be near the edge of the forest now. However, with the sun finally set, it’s harder for you to navigate your steps and the gnawing in your chest blooms. You try to maintain a straight path, but you could’ve sworn that you passed the same tree five minutes ago.

Deciding to take a brief break, you pull out your phone to check the time and ideally pull up a map to help you navigate your way out. Unfortunately, you have no signal so your phone is deduced into nothing but a glorified clock.

As you had felt this morning, it seems like you’re being watched, followed. When you glance around, you’re alone. Right as you turn back around to face forward, putting your phone back into your pocket, you let out a scream in surprise when a man is standing before you, golden eyes looking directly at you.

“I wasn’t expecting visitors so soon.”

There’s no mistaking that you know this voice; it sounds exactly like the one from your dream. It’s hard to see him clearly, but you can make out the familiar outline of his tall figure as your eyes steadily adjust. You see him take a step forward, making you instinctively take a step back.

“No need to be afraid, sweetheart. I don’t bite.” The low rumble of his voice sends a shiver down your spine. He takes another step forward into a small area illuminated by moonlight seeping through the blankets of leaves above and you can finally see his face.

He has a lazy and almost bored look donning on his features, the upwards tilt of the right corner of his lips being the only thing indicating his amusement at the fear in your eyes. His eyes seem to rake over you, as if evaluating you.

“Are you going to kill me?” You try to steady your trembling voice, unable to look away from him.

“Kill you?” He muses as he takes another step forward. You take another step back. “What’s the fun in that?”

“Well, if you’re looking for fun, I have an idea or two,” you say, trying to look for a way out.

“Do you now?” The man is now smirking. “Enlighten me.”

“For starters, you keep me alive.” He chuckles but it does nothing to calm your racing heart. “Second, you either tell me who you are and how to get out of here, or just cut the formalities and go straight to telling me how to get out of here.”

He laughs as he takes another step forward, taking you another step back. You feel your eyes widen when your back presses up against a tree you were sure wasn’t there before.

“How cute,” he says as his laughter dies down. “I think you’ll be fun to keep around for a little longer.”

He takes two more steps forward until he’s towering directly over you, propping his elbow against the bark above your head. He leans down to be at eye level with you and you can feel his breath fan over your face. You turn your head slightly, wanting to avoid him in any way you possibly can.

“Issei.”

“Excuse me?” Looking up at him with a frown on your face, you realize just how close he is and feel your cheeks heat at the proximity.

“My name. I think you’ve earned it.”

You’ve hardly done anything, so you’re not sure what that means. Before you can question him further, he cocks his head to the side slightly.

“Tell me, doll. What’s someone like you doing in a place like this?”

“Currently looking for a way out of here,” you answer truthfully. You know better than to trust a stranger, especially given the circumstances you’re in and the alarms are blaring in your head.

“You’re sure you don’t want to stay? I’m pretty convincing and can make it worth your while.” He smirks down lazily at you.

“I highly doubt that and would like to see you try,” you say, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. Perhaps you could’ve worded your sentence differently, a fact emphasized when he leans in dangerously closer to your face so you can feel the ghost of his lips brush yours whenever he speaks.

Your instincts are screaming at you to move, but it’s as if your brain and limbs are disconnected, failing to cooperate.

“Don’t tempt me,” his voice lowers. You hesitantly lift your eyes to meet his and see that they’ve darkened.

Well, that can’t be good.