#it might be the autism tbh

[immortalsins]

once again tried out jiujitsu in the hopes i’d like it this time. the place didn’t seem as cult-y as some of the others (gracie barra looking at you) but this guy did say smth along the lines of ‘you’ll 100% be indoctrinated into the bjj life’ in all seriousness whilst seatbelt gripping me

[magentasnail]

Sign the emojis!!!!! I want to download them but then. How will I remember

I really need to start caring more about signing my work fgdjgfb

anyway, here's the emoji version signed:

if you want the regular version with my @ then @ryanthedemiboy made an edit (thanks again ryan!!)

I hope you enjoy!

[wannaliveattheholidayinn]

so i was struck very suddenly in the middle of the day to make this and i finally just sat down to do it and,,,

[pandorem]

Okay so I don’t feel the most qualified to talk about this, especially to make any value judgements on how any of this was handled, so I would love other people to add in if they feel like it, but this is eating my brain actually so.

Esther Finch is a funny villain. She’s a joy to watch on screen, even if part of that joy is in hating her. But there’s something that feels very deliberate in the fact that the only two girls (barring in the animated flashback) we see her target are black girls. Becky Aspen and Crystal. I don’t think we’re supposed to infer from this that she only ever targets black girls, but the casting of Becky feels deliberate. While there’s plenty of in universe explanation for why she wants to use Crystal to feed to her snake afterwards and doesn’t ever say, specifically target Niko, it’s still there. And though Niko was just hurt because she got in the way, she’s also another woman of colour we see Esther hurt.

And then at the end Crystal, who many have pointed out has been a voice for women throughout the whole season, stands in front of Lilith, the goddess of wronged women, and screams to her about who gets justice for all the little girls Esther hurt. And then Lilith, played by a black woman, is the one to drag Esther away.

Crystal says to Esther that she knows how anger can poison you. Esther says she learned to be predator instead of prey a long time ago. Do I think that the show literally wants us to think that Esther is a racist who deliberately targets black girls? No. Do I think the casting choices that they made bring up themes of the kind of people who, because they have been hurt or marginalized, want to push others down to have others that they can have power over instead? Whose problems with societal oppression is not that it exists, but that they aren’t the ones who get to benefit from it? I think so.

[theevilicecreamsoda]

Tbh care :]

[itsdefinitely]

changing my home/lock screen might be a small thing to you, but for me it took many years of training. what do you mean you didn't witness the montage in which i changed it but got too uncomfortable with the difference that i had to change it back? you really didn’t see me almost flinch when i saw the wallpaper for the first time? smh

[lem0n-a1d]

Me trying to beat the "weird" superhero obsessed girl to funky autistic transmasc pipeline allegations, but my comic book collection and the figurines that I inhereted from my dad gets revealed

[plantwriting]

Thinking about Kian (no this doesn’t surprise anyone but wait i’m not done) and how much he must have internalized that he could never be protected or saved by anyone else.

Thinking about Kian as a little kid, with drug addicted cultists for parents, who could never give their child the love and care he needed. Thinking about Kian going hungry more often than not, never having clothes that fit, clearly not being properly taken care of by his parents. Thinking about all the other adults in his life seeing this, and choosing to ignore it.

Thinking about Kian internalizing that it’s just how things are supposed to be.

Thinking about Kian as a slightly older kid. Thinking about him seeing that his experiences aren’t normal for the first time, when he visits Rand and his home is always warm and welcoming, his parents are never high on anything, the house doesn’t smell of rotting food badly covered up by insence. Thinking about him seeing the way Donna would fuss over her kids and John would get confused when he called Rand ‘Rand’ because a family is supposed to share a last name. Thinking about him finally connecting the dots that his experiences aren’t normal.

Thinking about Kian internalizing that he can’t ever have the same kind of love and care as everyone else.

Thinking about Rachel going missing. Thinking about Rolan seeing bodies in the water that aren’t there. Thinking about both of his best friends falling into despair, and Kian being left to pick up the pieces. Thinking about him so desperately trying to help them feel better, bandaging their wounds, offering them support, never asking for the same in return. Thinking about nobody even noticing as Kian starts doing worse, and worse, and worse because there’s other things, other people, to focus on.

Thinking about Kian internalizing that he’s not worth it, that nobody will ever want to carry his burdens for him.

Thinking about Rolan leaving, with barely any warning, barely even a goodbye. Thinking about Rand and him fighting, Kian in the middle of it, the accusations of abandonment and betrayal. Thinking about Rand being so upset about Rolan leaving, fighting so hard to keep him, only to fail. Thinking about Kian trying to help Rand get over it for months, before leaving as well. Thinking about none of the anger being there this time, Rand letting him go without a fight, just telling him to come visit sometime.

Thinking about Kian internalizing that Rand never really cared about him as much as he cared about Rolan.

Thinking about Kian in Hollywood. Struggling to make the ends meet while failing to become a rockstar, in a city where he knows nobody and can’t get help from anyone. Thinking about Kian ending up homeless, nobody caring to help him, nobody looking at him for long. Thinking about the “demons” in Hollywood, the people who would hurt him, not even bothering to do so behind closed doors because nobody was going to stop them anyways. Thinking about him having a stalker, the police are no help, they never are, they don’t care about people like him. Thinking about Kian in Hollywood, hurt and abandoned and followed home from a club and abused and getting attacked in a dark alleyway by someone with a grin he could never forget. Thinking about those around averting their gazes, acting like they don’t even notice him.

Thinking about Kian internalizing that nobody’s ever going to keep him safe or protect him from danger.

Thinking about him high and drunk out of his mind, unable to stand straight or even speak, still going for another hit. Thinking about him going well over the speed limit while driving, because what does it even matter? Thinking about him, with a weapon in hand, wondering how long it would take for anyone to even come and find his body.

Thinking about Kian internalizing that nobody’s ever going to keep him safe or protect him from himself.

Thinking about him going back to Galloway. Slowing down his car only when his friends are in it with him, chasing after Rolan and trying to help him, seeing that same horribly familiar way that officer Dudes smiled at him. Thinking about him on two hp after the crash, patching himself up, ignoring the eyes on the back of his neck, making sure Rolan got taken care of before him.

Thinking about Kian knowing that nobody is going to take care of him.

Thinking about him going to see Becky. Thinking about him hoping that maybe Rand would come with him to keep him safe. Thinking about him telling himself that it didn’t matter if he left Dickman behind, because he was never going to protect Kian anyways. Thinking about him kissing her, feeling the stinger go down his throat, hoping and begging and stalling so that maybe, maybe, maybe someone would come save him. Thinking about him dying a horrible and painful death, alone.

Thinking about Kian knowing that nobody is going to protect him.

Thinking about Rolan finding “him”. Thinking about Rolan running away as soon as it wasn’t him anymore, thinking about Kian losing himself. Thinking about him trying to tell his friends to save him, hoping and begging that they would, that they’d care enough to do that. Thinking about Rolan slicing his body in half to protect Rand, killing him for a second time.

Thinking about Kian knowing that Rolan will never care about him as much as he cares about Rand.

Thinking about them bringing him back, Rand hugging him, him telling them the truth. Thinking about him trying to help, trying to find any kind of useful info, but failing. Thinking about Becky trying to kill him again, him only surviving with luck, nobody being there to help him. Thinking about him witnessing the queen, knowing he can’t stop what’s about to come, knowing nobody else is going to try and stop it either.

Thinking about Kian knowing that this is just how things were supposed to end.

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

thinking about the death note musical and getting emotional

[kumakuma-circus]

not me listening to SNOWFLAKES on loop cuz it's low-key my favorite p4 song and realizing the lyrics like perfectly encompass yu's feelings about inaba and his friends and having to leave.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. UGHHHHHH. THE PAIN OF HAVING MEDIA COMPREHENSION SKILLS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[azure-trash]

I made my top Spotify artists as TBH/Autsim creatures cuz I could :)

[ibeewashere]

Fjord: I swear there’ll be buttons and shiny shit if you go into the water with us!!

Nott: Oh really!!! Wow I’ve totally changed my mind!!!! Look at this fucking bastard Jesus fucking Christ

[oddly-charmed]

It’s so hard being someone who is really awkward and kind of a loser, but really into fucked up, dark kinks. Like- yeah, ravish me, fuck my corpse or whatever, pull on my little collar and bash my face in with a bat, that’s hot. But I fear my only response to this information is gonna be “Wow😳 That’s craaaaazyy” bc I can’t take myself seriously or fathom what to say. On a completely unrelated note, I’ve been considering looking into an autism diagnosis these past couple years

[abductedlawnchair]

If anyone ever doubts that I'm autistic, they should know that when I was 10, I somehow obtained a really big collection of baseball cards; not because I gave even two shits about baseball, but because of the many ways and combinations in which I could spend an inappropriate amount of hours sorting and re-sorting them

[noodles-07]

@practically-an-x-man THE FABLEHAVEN HOUSE IS D O N E !!!! with the upstairs hallway, grandparents room, a spare bedroom, Warren's cabin, the barn, and the exterior it is OFFICIALLY FINISHED :DDD

I put my blood sweat tears and autism into this build and I'm SUPER happy with how it came out thank you for the encouragement and moral support <33 everyone is welcome to reblog please do I have been hyperfixating so hard send help- /hj

also, fun fact: this is the first sims build that has ever made my computer lag. I apologize, crappy five year old laptop, but all the clutter was necessary despite the hit to my game's performance dkjfghjkdfhgkd

other posts of this build: 1 (kitchen, living room, study, porch), 2 (attics), 3 (other bedrooms)

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

was about to ask if yazs doctormirrorness is reason enough to forgive me if i accidentally make her autistic as if yazs literal in-universe doctor mirroring itself doesnt make a pretty good case for her autism