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#the way everyone else gets to fucking experience and its starting to actually for real ruin my life!
beecampbell · 1 year
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been crying a lot. sad a lot. was a bad idea to get into a long distance relationship. didnt learn from lilsimsie.
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str4wkinzi · 7 months
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NSFW CONTENT! MINORS DONT INTERACT!!
Your teacher comes over to your desk, putting one hand on your shoulder.
“Stay after class today.”
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Teacher! fav x Reader :3 (comic said change it to any character)
COMIC’S BIRTHDAY BASH HERE!!
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You wait in your seat after class, watching everyone else pack up and leave. He goes over to the door, closing and locking it.
“Your grades have been.. low. Is anything wrong?” He questions as he comes over to your desk.
You say no. Well, you try to say no. You look at him staring into your soul with those eyes. He’s your teacher, you shouldn’t think like this!
He snaps his fingers in your face. When did he get so close? He leans down, he’s so close to your face.
“I think i know what the problem is..” he whispers to himself as he stands up. You don’t hear it.
“Is it me? Are you.. distracted by me?” He says.
You could barely count the number of no’s that left your lips. No. That’s a lie. He knows it. You know it. But maybe you can…
“Maybe i need to… teach you how to pay attention in class.”
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“You can suck cock better than that, sweetheart.” He groans with a slight chuckle.
You never thought you’d be sucking your teachers cock. Well, you thought about it, but who thought it would actually happen?
With his eyes burning into your helpless state. Head bobbing on his cock as his hips meet your lips.
He stops you.
“What’s the answer to this?” He asks, coming out more like a demand than a question.
You hold your fingers up, ‘five.’
You see him smile and grab your hair, lifting your head off his cock.
“That was too easy for you. We both know you’re smarter than basic math, right?”
You nod shyly as you await his next set of words.
“Let’s give you a real challenge.”
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Bent over his desk, he asks you once more.
“Write down the fucking answer.” He demands between thrusts.
You write the answer on the paper, sloppily, but it’s there and its right. He chuckles and stops all movements.
“Answer this question correctly. This is the last one.”
You nod as you whine.
“Are you going to pay attention from now on?” He asks.
You nod frantically, practically breaking your neck trying too.
“Words.” Is all he says before he starts pounding to you. Your words get caught in your throat as he fucks them out of you.
Shaking, moaning, dripping mess. You yell ‘yes’ just as he hits your cervix.
“Yes what? What are you saying yes for?” He chuckles as his thrusts get harder.
You angrily whine and try to mutter out a slur of words.
“I can’t hear you, sweetheart.”
Fuck, he’s driving you insane.
“Yes, i’ll pay attention in class from now on.”
You wish it came out like that. It came out shaky and full of desperate moans. You could barely comprehend your own sentence.
“I’ll let you off easy this time.” He whispers in your ear as he thrusts impossibly harder then before.
Moans, groans, and lewd slapping fill the classroom. What if someone came back to get something they forgot?
A student and a teacher, fucking right over his desk. What if somebody heard your loud moans through the door?
Those are the thoughts you would be having if you weren’t so fucked out right now.
When you both eventually cum he helps you put all your clothes that he ripped off on.
He helps you walk out of the school and into his car. Along the way, you ask him where you two are going.
“Private lessons, of course. I’ll call your parents and say you needed them.”
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STR4WZ STICKY NOTE < guys ive been going crazy.. imagine crying while writing smut its a really good experience - STR4WKINZI anyways everything is going out in the next 4-3 days (hopefully) cuz im not busy :3 except school ofc BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS 3
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pansear-doodles · 3 months
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Let me get things out of the way first: I've seen a lot of misinformation being passed around, on twitter especially where a lot of folks jump into conclusions more so they can find a reason to be angry. This thread will clear things up.
Yes. Ludeo is very much a company with zi*nist views. This is a screencap of a post made AFTER Is*ael made an attack on Palestine. For those who think initially: "they're just run by folks from Is*ael" then here's proof that they're actively agreeing with genocide.
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Videocult and Akupara DID NOT KNOW Ludeo had zi*nist views at the time they started collaborating, which dates from last year. It's only NOW that it's brought to attention by the RW community. They are working on arrangements in private as we speak.
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The collab has caused a lot of complications, as it is pretty much one of the reasons why the game's price is upped. Our voices have already reached them- they're very well aware that we are NOT happy with this.
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The feedback has of course reached the RW official server mods as well, and guess what: They didn't know until they were told. This is the first time they heard of this and they are very much making is very obvious that they do not agree with zi*nist views.
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Unfortunately a lot of people thought them shutting down the server and any discussions of this whole event is "silencing" Let's be real here. NOBODY in the community wanted this, and it is very stressful to deal with all of this. Mods are 1% of the server population and-
-they are human too. People have called them spineless which is pretty pathetic. They have to babysit 50K+ MEMBERS everyday and they don't need to deal with anymore upsets. And sending your concerns to them is pointless- give your feedback to videocult and akupara instead!
As someone with modding experience elsewhere, I cannot imagine handling a server as big as that. People were sent FUCKING DEATH THREATS and they think this will solve anything??? At this point, it's just people trying to find the closest proximities to be mad at.
It is pointless and I am so tired of mods being called weak when they're just doing their job and hate Ludeo as much as everyone else. I doubt these people don't know what its like to be a mod. Creating a strike in a server where its supposed to be chill isn't the way.
The mods even directed the people more useful and more impactful ways to send the feedback across. This isn't silencing. People are just too angry to think straight and just wanted chaos as the option- when in reality its going to do more damage than good.
The server is a getaway place- it is not a server about politics- it is about a fucking video game. It is not the way to get the feedback in the way that actually matters. The staff openly announced the situation and showed their views so they're not trying to hide it.
Anyway, if it isn't clear. I hate zi*nists too. I hate colonialism. I hate using religion as an excuse to hurt and belittle people. I want people of Palestine to be free and I am hopeful that their freedom will come.
Yet people are ripping out those who are on the same team as them, spreading vitriol and misinformation. Please, twitter, think and cite your sources. To think only in anger will fog your senses and do more harm than good.
The mods are passionate folks and they do their job for free, just to make a safe environment. You may disagree with them sometimes, but I think it is stupid to outright call them ignorant or zi*nists themselves.
It *is* unfortunate that the devs and publishers didn't do enough background check, but at least they took our feedback into incredible consideration. We are not stopping our disagreement of integrating Ludeo, until something is done about it. Let's wait for more updates.
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mysteriousl0ser · 19 days
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FUCK IT, TADC EP 2 THOUGHTS MAJOR SPOILERS!! BE WARNED
LETS GO!! Pomni is still pretty screwed up over her first day here, I mean this is all fresh and new to her so like DUH. everyone else here is somewhat or entirely adjusted and kind of just cope with the fact that theyre here I dont think pomni has really processed how long theyve been here?? In the pilot she seems SO bothered by how okay they are with this and willingness to do caines fuckass adventures
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i dont blame her, anywho pomni in her nightmare-induced state starts to abstract, she had to face an abstraction early on in her days here which like have to be pretty truamatizing (duh) and cried out to ANYONE, but where she called for help literally no one helped her “oh well” they though
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Pomni doesn't feel like anybody else cares, shes the only one whos still going through an adjustment phase and freaking the fuck out while everyone else is just going along with the adventure, something she still thinks is kinda pointless and doesn't get why anybody would waste their time here doing when they COULD be looking for a way out, why is she the only one who seems to still be distressed here? To feel lost? At least from her perspective, it seems that way. Unfortunately, these people have already been here for a while.
Pomski then meets someone whos just like her, their whole reality was shattered and they don't belong anywhere, mirroring how pomni feels at the moment, even if she still has some sort of grip now vs when she first got here
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And she finds comfort in that!!! Why is it that this NPC feels more real than the ACTUAL REAL PEOPLE trapped here with her??? Whatever the reason, its something to hold onto. Something to LATCH onto. Hes Real. or at least he feels real, and maybe she feels like she belongs with him because at least he knows the feeling, something shes not really felt w anyone else before
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This comfort and solidarity she has with gumigoo is shortlived however as she gets brutally reminded that he wasnt real. The anchor she had vanished and there's quite literally nobody to catch her fall.
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And i feel like ragatha trying to comfort her the way she did didnt help AT ALL. it was kinda a sore reminder that gumigoo is easily replaceable, and GOD thats so frustrating?? This thing felt so real to her and nobody seems to care that he just vanished!! If they could be so apathetic to this whos to say they wont just treat her demise just the same as she thought they would???
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But then something important happens. They have a funeral for Kaufmo, someone whos been established to be their friend way before Pomni ever came here. And maybe it didn't ever settle in before that kaufmo was a real person! Literally!! And he was real to them. Just like gumigoo though less directly they relate to being in pain and kind of in shock of losing someone who they cared about and who was a real person to care about to them AND LIKE YOU CAN SEE WHERE IT CLICKS IN HER FACIAL EXPRESSION HERE, THE CHANGE IN HER EYES AND THE WAY HER EXPRESSION LOSENS AT THIS IDK IT DRIVES ME CRAZY GOD THE ANIMATORS WENT OFF W THIS EP VS THE PILOT IM IM IM
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anyways anyways They have their funeral service, theres quite literally no reason for anyone to just lie and go along with whatever bs caines got going on, this also quite literally has nothing to do with him. This is kind of their own little way of keeping some sort of human traditions and respect for the human persons that get stuck here because they care. HELL you can even see pomni feel a little guilty here when ragatha says that his funeral was disrupted cause she arrived here
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anyways thats exactly it!! They fucking car!! This whole time pomni thought that they just didnt care and were kind of apathetic or downright patronizing her over all this and mocking her or whatnot, like in her dream sequence. But no, they all talk respectively about their memories and experiences with kaufmo, the things they shared together and the feelings they had. EVERYBODY was grieving. Ragatha who always tried to put on some cheerful and kind of irritating (to pomni at least) everythings fine facade (which also kind of feels less real to her at least i think so but i don't think she figured it to be a coping mechanism) to just straight up start crying and breaking up a bit, even mentioning how this does not ever get any easier and how shes had to deal with this plenty of times before.
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Zooble the usually apathetic and kind of asshole who keeps to themselves and gives off i don't care energy and probably gave off the impression that they didn't care about anyone here and just treated the people stuck here as an unfortunate fact and nothing more actually being vulnerable and probably doing the same as ragatha talking about their memories with kaufmo
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Kingers ALWAYS kind of zoned out or not really taking anything seriously and just being there completely lost in space, but here hes grounded, and even earlier in the episode when ragatha needed it most he remained grounded then too (tho pomni didnt see that i just wanted to mention it). Just like the others he grieves and lives in the unfortunate moment
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more of the kinger being grounded when the thought counts
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GANGLE- dude even if its for just a moment she smiles here despite having her tragedy mask and like her whole shtick is being of whatever mood or emotion her mask is allegedly wether she wants to or not, but no here shes more than just that, she smiles for a bit when reminiscing her moments with kaufmo only to go back into crying, and man shes always crying with her tragedy mask but its beyond as far as anyone can tell wether or not its really her or just because of her mask, but here? its really her, no matter what the mask on her face shows!! shes genuinely smiling despite having her comedy mask and shes genuinely crying which is very blatantly obviously different to the usual mask cry etc etc
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heres something about all this, it hits pomni in a way. These people ARE real, and they care. They care about her, they have nothing else but eachother and THATS something to latch onto. Thats something to hold her down, even if they just met pomni
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SPEAKING OF JUST MEETING POMNI she literally expressed how she didnt wanna just LEAVE gumigoo there by himself because she believes no one should just be left there
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the circus peeps just met pomni and just like how she felt a real connection to gumigoo in this digital hell she feels a sort of connection with these people too. Theyre gonna have her back all the same, maybe she wont feel so out of place and alone. BONUS THING!! The literal only times she genuinely smiles is when she feels this real connection to what feels real to her and has a genuine and sincere moment with these people whether it be an npc or a trapped member. Idk it just means something to me how significant both these moments are tipped off with a genuine smile a REAL SMIE!! (id add pictures but tumblr has a 30 image limit) OH ALSO BONUS BONUS THING THE DIFFERENCE IN OUTRO MUSIC IS SO IS SO ITS SO the outro song for the pilot kinda feels so ethereal and out of the moment at least to me it kinda feels like it you're slipping through the cracks and just, existing within yourself as the rest of the world around you kind of shatters into glass or melts into water or something i dont think ANY of that made any sense but its loud and its blaring and its so out of reach in a way, mad disassociation vibes but the outro song for the 2nd ep is a lot quieter yet its right there, at first it starts really small, lonely even. trapped by yourself but as the music gets louder and more instruments join in on the song it kind of has a comforting feel? bittersweet? even? its grounding ina way which is much different from how the first one felt at least to me lmao and the comforting feel kinda only emphasizes what I was talking about earlier- the comfort in having that anchor of reality with having a real moment with these people and making that connection yk? and like as i was saying at first the song starts off with just one instrument, at the start of the episode pomni feels utter alone and out of place even if these people here with here are stuck in the same situation as her, together alone. but as the other instruments join. in it kinda uplifts the song a bit, its not one sole instrument anymore like how in the end pomni feels that connection with everyone else, not so alone anymore idk jackshit about music theory so this is entirely a feelies talk instead of like- music lore? so don't take anything i say as like- idk some professional speak im just a nerd nerding about silly digital fixations ANYWAYS THATS ALL FOR NOW I AVE MORE TO SAY BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH LOL if you actually read all the way down this far thank you for listening!!! i really really appreciate it :]
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firestorm09890 · 1 month
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On Wuthering Heights and Canto VI (complete)
wow.
move over “Call me Ishmael” line, this is the Canto that most resembles its source book. We’ve got direct quotes! We’ve got scenes playing out like the original, beat for beat! I’m so glad I read Wuthering Heights beforehand, because unlike the previous ones where it just enhanced the experience a little (or even left me unsatisfied that they didn’t adapt certain things), I can’t imagine what it might’ve been like to not know everything in the book.
It’s kind of uncanny, actually, the extent to which things are similar. At the end of part 2 I was thinking about how there could’ve been a universe where the events of the book continued to stay the same if not for Erlking Heathcliff learning about the alternate worlds, and hey, after looking at so many universes of Catherine and Heathcliff making each other miserable, Dante (*edit: I wrote Cathy here first. I forgot it was Dante who saw it) found one where they’re happy together, both as ghosts, which! Is just the end of real actual Wuthering Heights!
We continued to have canon divergence in that way of "what if [character] had done something different?" which is always my favorite, even if some of it was just visions into a timeline where things were different. What if Heathcliff recognized he was just as bad as Hindley when it came to Hareton? What if Heathcliff and Cathy hadn't gone to spy on Thrushcross Grange that night? What if Heathcliff had stayed to listen to the rest of what Cathy had to say?
It's a tragedy, and Erlking Heathcliff, and our Heathcliff, and every other Heathcliff believed that it was the type where he was doomed from the start, because of who he is, and nothing can change that. But Dante knew that no, actually, it's a tragedy because of the choices that were made, and they can't be changed now, but you can change, and that's how you change your fate.
Individual characters
Not surprised Hindley distorted. I think this one had a lot more hate within him than the original
RIP Isabella Linton, I mean Isabella Edgar. She found someone who wasn't Heathcliff and her brother STILL stopped talking to her, and ended up being used by Erlking Heathcliff anyway
Speaking of Linton (Edgar). I don't have much to say because if I'm being honest I don't like him very much and everything he said was kinda overshadowed by his absolutely disgusting death. Catherine saying he looked like a prince out of a fairytale is very interesting considering how much he looks like the Black Swan guys
I'm sad Josephine died. It makes narrative sense but it would’ve been funny if she outlasted everyone else just like in the book
Cathy! There's a lot to say about Cathy but I'm not sure I can be the one to do it. I like her. I'm glad she was fucked up and we got our "everyone sucks here, you're perfect for each other, never involve anyone else in your business" but of course other people are getting involved because this is fucking Wuthering Heights
SPEAKING OF GETTING INVOLVED! NELLY!! I'm sooo glad they gave her the unreliable narrator trait, and managed to put the whole "burning letters" thing in there too. I'm also glad that when she did inevitably betray the team, she stayed exactly the same in personality. It's like she said herself, the happy moments in the past were real. I hope she stops associating with Hermann and goes to do something else with her life. Imagine finding out that in every universe you're wrapped up in Heathcliff and Cathy's bullshit
no Hareton or Catherine II, but Catherine I and Heathcliff did a fine job breaking the cycle themselves, I think.
there's probably more things to say about the Erlking and the Wild Hunt but I'm so tired
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Note
Thank you for your service smol o7 this game has been on my thoughts 24/7 lol so it’s nice to see someone writing for it!!
I was hoping I could request some jealousy headcanons about the ghouls being pouty MC is hanging out with others so much because of their missions with other houses. In particular I was hoping for my boy Haku (I know we don’t have a main chapter for him yet but he did have those two chunks of screen time—if he’s too difficult because of not enough info don’t worry about it then!); as well as maybe Jin, Luca and whoever else you’d like!
Thanks again~
Just like another ask i got, I'm gonna write Haku based on the vibe I got from him. This could be proven entirely inaccurate in the later game and I am okay with that lol. I'm gonna round it to an even four characters. All these will be before any relationship actually happens. Like there's a crush there but no one has said anything yet.
And thank YOU for sending in a request and enjoying!
Be aware! These will contain minor spoilers for episode 3!
JIN KAMURAI
I feel like silver spoon Jin has no experience with certain types of jealousy. Materialistic jealousy? Doesn't know her. But when he heard how close MC had been getting with some of those Vagastrom thugs? Oh it made his blood boil.
At first I'm sure he thought it was because on of his orders was being defied. But that feeling only got stronger when MC was finished with Vagastrom and moved onto Jabberwok.
Good luck to Tohma because mans here does not know what to do about these emotions. This is one of those problems that can't be fixed with money and he is NOT happy about it. He goes back to brooding in his room for a while to think things through.
He will not tolerate any disrespect from any theories that the Frostheim gossip elite have. But when he noticed the like dove flying in the direction of MC'S dorm, things suddenly started to click in his head.
LUCAS ERRANT "LUCA"
Our boy here is another one who isn't necessarily familiar with jealousy. Its for similar reasons of, he comes from a well off family, but different in the way he was raised and things he's been through as a little kid.
He's glad to see MC making more friends and making possible progress on breaking their curse, at first. When they get to Jabberwok however, he hears from Kaito that their vice captain Towa is a bit of (how Kaito put it), "a fucking weirdo", which gives him some pause.
When Kaito came running up to Luca showing him a WickChat post about MC having a possible boyfriend (its false, its just Towa being affectionate and someone saw). He feels his heart sink a little bit
He made a mental note to text MC later to ask about it and get all the information he could about their relationship and about the Jabberwock students. He promised to protect MC not matter what. Hopefully they could explain the strange twist in his chest while they talked too.
ALAN MIDO
He doesn't really get jealous. Period.
I think he's the kind of guy to know how strong he is, he knows his reputation. He's tech hopeless, not a moron. So just being around him can scare off people from getting too close to MC while he's around.
He himself overheard about MC having a possible boyfriend (same post from Luca's) from Leo telling Sho. He didn't pay any real mind to it until he heard Leo mention how affectionate they were.
That's the one thing he gets jealous about. He's a bit more aware of his feelings than people might think, so he knows he has a crush on MC. He just hasn't had the time to tell them that.
The rumor takes some wind out of Alan's sails for sure. He's more likely to believe that MC would pick someone else over him since I think he'd be more hesitant on something like physical affection.
He knows his strength and he knows MC'S ability, he would be too afraid that he'd lose control and do something else he might regret, so out of everyone on this list. I think Alan would be the one to take longer to confess because of jealousy and his insecurities.
HAKU KUSANAGI
I don't remember if it's explicitly said anywhere (my memory sucks butt I'm sorry) but he gives older sibling energy with how he cleaned up after Taiga in the prologue. So I KNOW he's been worried about MC since they last saw eachother.
He was at least somewhat relieved when he found them hanging out with the Frostheim second years, but there was a pang in his he couldn't quite place. He chalked it up to just being a worrywart and left it alone.
But when he heard that MC had gone missing in episode 3, he was READY to jump in to go help the search and rescue team. His heart was racing and he was suddenly confronted with feelings that were coming out of left field (no they weren't)
When MC returns back safely, Haku has half a mind to go fight with the professor Hyde about sending the very human honor student on such dangerous missions. He keeps a much closer eye on them from now on and with his status as an heir to (what i assume) is a beloved shrine, he tries to request that MC be sent to work with Hotarubi next.
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joelletwo · 17 days
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wrestling with the 4devas bitchslap again to convince myself its fine if graveyard wins the best ep tourney: it's not the other bloggers who are wrong, it's me
not a complete response to but definitely in conversation with and asking some of the same questions again as @reductionisms's 4devas essay, which tries to square gintoki's "life doesn't need to be fun, i just need you to live" being a series-sanctioned message he's given to villains as an arc-concluding moral continuously up until 4devas with it here being an incorrect worldview that needs to be (physically) corrected by shinpachi, the straightman tonal signpost of gintama
a conflict i have been perplexed by ever since i got to this line on my first watch a year or two ago, since i've seen this line before! all over fandom! as part of the general "dont [bottom text] kill yourself" motivational messaging of gintama that i love!
and, briefly, when i hit 4devas i was also in the middle of being really frustrated by the new arc pattern i was seeing crop up: i loved the villains-turned sympathetic-turned someone worth saving by gintoki tune of the first half of gintama, but it fell massively flat for me in Yoshiwara in Flames, where i was never convinced to be on housen's side but had to watch him get a heartwarming redemptive death at the side of the woman he abused anyways.
then shortly after i had the same exact experience in Red Spider with jiraia, and i thought, if this is what gintama is gonna do with its shitty dudes from now on im gonna quit the fucking show. and then shortly after that i met jirochou and saw him cut down otose the woman he loved (under a raining sky!!! the fucking sky motifs!!! the signpost im about to watch a dude be shittily violent to women and be expected to feel sorry for him about it) and saw too much red to really take in the rest of the arc level-headedly or care about anything in it lol.
so it was written off in my mind as the 'otose almost gets fridged' arc until i rewatched it this week. then i had to remember, oh yeah, there's a ton of political maneuvering fakeouts in this arc that i never actually squared back with how the plot presented itself prior to the reveals, so i'd still been thinking about the "fakeout" plot. then i read the manga version with all the "truths" in mind from the start, and finally i felt like i could understand what this arc is doing a little better.
(way) tldr (4.4k words. sorry): do i love this arc? eh. do i still hate it? eh. but it's doing stuff!
first, i was able to see an echo in all the "actually i was planning to betray you the whole time" "actually i was working to help you the whole time" plot beats of what sorachi does with the larger edo/universe story further into the back half of the manga. if i ever sound like i didnt enjoy or wasnt convinced by the execution of these "reveals," it's because i didnt and wasnt, lol. but it's fun that he had fun with them i guess.
the arc starts with pirako ingratiating herself into yorozuya, then having a classic "bump into you and pretend to be injured to extort you" encounter w her dad's gang. to resolve this without escalating into violence, gintoki... does it back to them, which is really funny. but thus the tone is set for the arc of: DISHONEST APPROACHES TO CONFLICT.
pirako isnt honest about her overall intentions the, like, seven different times that she "admits her real ones." kada plays at peacekeeper in the devas while being the ultimate person scheming to get the upper hand over everyone else in the end. (she's also secretly harusame, evil amanto outsider who acts as a unifying force for the kabukicho fighting itself to band together against and expel: sorachi's favorite move! the problem was never internal, it's the shadowy REAL antagonists who infiltrated us)
jirochou and otose are ultimately doing a pantomime of conflict to try to keep temperatures down and escalations from breaking out, so no one they care about has to get hurt. gintoki doesn't know this until the end, but he follows in their footsteps after his encounter with them in the graveyard: he plays at having given up to the rest of yorozuya so they'll leave and escape the coming kabukicho war, the same thing otose was trying with him. it fails both times. i'm really not sure why gintoki and otose thought it would work, honestly. they should know their kids are stubborn as hell.
but gintoki is in a bind because of the things he needs to protect, and all of his actions are primarily in service of that, to the detriment of how he'd prefer to act if he were less restricted. he is unsurprised and unoffended to hear saigou is only willing to warn them, not help them, because her son is in danger if she acts directly. all four devas are, seemingly, being mutually restrained this way, holding back even when blatantly manipulated to do so. the other constant of this arc: everyone is dishonest, and no one wants to risk losing what they have.
gintoki understands that! of course! he's had to make that calculus before, after all :)
and this arc is just one big cliff scene echo: the entire graveyard scene pushing gintoki to emotional regression because he thinks he's losing another parent figure, one he's just seen the Gintoki Figure of the arc cut down, no less (takasugi stolen valor when he goes berserk against him and only ends up uselessly bleeding out on the ground about it, honestly). otose goes into this willingly so gintoki can live. he accepts this decision because he values protecting her values (her kids living on) and is briefly broken by it (the story says, before giving him shinpachi to "put him back on track"). prior to the bitchslap, after saying he just wants them to live, even if it has to be without him, he says:
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i dont have a good understanding of when we start getting reveals of gintoki's backstory versus foreshadowing because i went into gintama already knowing most of it, but definitely by the recent red spider where we get our first real look at (or really, first listen to) shouyou. but here we actually get some of what gintoki felt about it, which he keeps closely guarded even when the whole truth comes out: he's done his best to survive having lost, but it was so unbearable he can't face losing again.
(also, honorable mention backstory echo, the person calling him a brother sets his home on fire to drive him and his parent figure out of town. as i liveblogged: this one would really hurt gintoki if gintoki cared about anything oboro ever did!)
but with the shinpachi story-rerouting, they get the good end, keep everyone (otose, yorozuya, all of kabukicho, even pirako and her dad - everyone but kada) safe without having to sacrifice a single thing, even keep gintoki hopeful for this outcome. so, as goose points out, we are left to understand that there could have been a good end on the cliff, that something is different here than there, and, skipping a lot of math, that that is the people around gintoki.
which i do find really funny to imagine as a slam on takasugi and katsura. sorry you kids suck too much, your teacher dies bc u were cringefail. but lets look at it.
everyone is dishonest, no one wants to risk what they have: gintoki rallies himself to keep fighting but is determined to do it alone. kagura and shinpachi fight him on this; they can't leave because they don't want to lose their home, they can't let him fight alone because they don't want to lose him. they're just as restricted by what they have to keep safe, but their only option is to act where everyone else's is inaction. shinpachi says:
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if i may skip over the bitchslap itself for now, gintoki does consent to let his allies fight with him after it. yorozuya stands alone against saigou, who's heavily demoralized but resigned, strongarmed into fighting them by the threat to her son. but on seeing their resolve to keep protecting their own precious home and family she says:
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and, to skip straight to my thought, i think this is what turns the tides back in their favor. there are more twists and turns to the fight. pirako equates what binds saigou, which she herself equates to what binds the yorozuya, to what binds her:
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(with an intentional distinction that she's willing to actively destroy the others', as opposed to their purely self defensive fighting, which is echoed at some point in her distinguishing gintoki from jirochou in the same way, that jirochou not only lives to protect like gintoki but is willing to destroy in the process. i don't find that part as interesting, but it's more fuel to the power of having something to protect as a driving force as an arc theme.)
so now all three stand on the same ground, absolutely unwilling to give up what they hold dear, but all their cards are on the table. they aren't dealing in 12 dimensions of tricksy defensive pre-emptive moves anymore. they know it wouldnt work, anyways, since they all know their drives to protect are the same and no one will be talked into backing down. now they can directly duke it out and let the winner be determined that way, on strength of will. even before the actual circumstances change, the fight somehow feels freer seeing how inevitable it is. and with everything out in the open, yorozuya can now protect each other and saigou's son, taking out one side of the conflict.
(and with everything out in the open, the ultimate 4devas villain can become the single person who continues to betray the others, kada, whose further machinations - with everything out in the open! - saigou (and later yorozuya) can choose to protect pirako from. everyone wins! because everything was out in the open! do you see where i'm going)
and so we come back to the question: gintoki is corrected, the arc is rerailed to the better outcome. so is the correction justified?
what does the correction accomplish outside of its moment? most convincingly to me of goose's presented options, i also think it's done as a thematic shift, a, okay, just live was a strategy that worked before but now doesn't suffice, so we need something more.
as to why this is needed now and not earlier or later...tldr bad planning <3 but like.
we have, prior to this, a consistent thrust of arcs where gintoki teaches people to lose. as well, while we meet the harusame and we visit space and we get the barest glimpses of takasugi's weird shadowy background moves there, largely we're dealing with kabukicho characters and kabukicho stories. we see or only hear about the shogun for short comedic moments only. we've largely dropped the series intro focus on things like the shinsengumi or hasegawa acting as foreign diplomats. it's a local series, a hometown series, a kabukicho and not even an edo at large series, a personal story about gintoki making personal connections with his personal experience as a flawed person with a flawed approach to life that has let him, chronic slacker, get by on the bare minimum.
at this moment, chapter 300, we have a slow trickle of gintoki backstory starting to come out to us. we've recently expanded the story focus to include yoshiwara, which gets a callout in this arc by kada to keep it relevant. we have an arc of sorachi testing out plot beats that he'll use again for the endgame, in all the political maneuvering and alliancing and betraying and shadowy outsider space governmenting, where he's also doing a lot of echoing of that backstory that only becomes clear later. so it's possible he's thinking about shifting gears and setting up for the eventual endgame, which means getting out of the episodic cycle so things can stick.
and after this arc, to my opinion and memory, we stop getting the classic gintama flavor sympathizable'd antagonists. a lot of the bigger arcs don't even have clear Big Shot antagonists anymore, being more about the shouyoucore theme of characters fighting against themselves, or if there is one they're always explicitly part of the Shadow Government now, a unified and more daunting force than someone they can win over with an inspiring gintoki interaction.
so 4devas does act as a turning point at least in some way. and it's not possible to say this definitively, since all gintama arcs are ultimately never going to be about gintoki or his friends Actually losing something instead of beating the odds, but it does feel like theres a different flavor to, say, dekobokko with its direct look at how chars lives could be different and better and they will still choose to keep struggling as themselves. and Kintama arc definitely doesn't feel like an early days arc, like it can only resolve the way it does with a gintoki who is now able to face his past and the possibility of losing again and again and again (now with, natch, his faith that yorozuya will by his side when he does).
why now, after 300 chapters of letting it sit ignored in the back of his brain working out perfectly fine except when it doesn't (the very reminder of shouyou in a fight making him go Demon Mode, which is like regular gintoki but worse at fighting, bc he is so unprepared to think about shouyou)? well i personally am in big favor of the "take a decade off" strategy for facing problems. it worked for me too. realistically watsonianly its nice to let things percolate in the brain and do some of the processing behind the scenes until its less immediately painful. and he's made many bonds over these 300 chapters, shown in this arc when the whole town rallies behind him, that are there to support him when he needs it now and weren't there before.
realistically doylistly eh. bad planning.
and so we come back to the question: gintoki is corrected, the series as a result is rerailed to a writing space where things can start changing (leave the episodic, as you guys say, sazae-san format). it's useful in the future. so is the correction justified in terms of what comes before it? was the correction needed?
thinking about the bitchslap leads to thinking about the cliff scene leads to (sorry kagura and katsura, you guys arent really relevant here) pitting shinpachi and takasugi against each other in how they act with something on the line they can't bear to give up.
i don’t need the lesson of 4devas to apply logistically to the cliff scene. once they were set up on that chessboard, frozen in their assigned places as a backstory, it’s not like takasugi could’ve power of friendship’d his way out of being physically retrained if he decided he wanted to. it’s set up as a forced choice, it has to play out as a forced choice.
but we see that even before it’s asked of him, takasugi is willing, prepared, unbothered to give up his own life for shouyou’s. this is, goose lays out in the sequel, the cardinal sin in gintama - a teacher shouldn’t outlive their student. it would have been especially egregious to shouyou, whose whole desired life’s purpose is to raise students who can outlive him and outgrow him, take his lessons and go out into the world and do their own thing with them. takasugi doesn’t expect to do this and doesn’t seem to see a point in the possibility if shouyou isn’t back with them.
though we can also think of shouyou as a little too quickly willing to give up on the cliff - sorry, gintoki, the suicidal guy has thought about it for .02 seconds and decided the best outcome is for you to kill him even though he could get out of this no problem. maybe its no wonder gintoki gave up too. can we ask katsura what he would’ve done?
and is takasugi different from shinpachi there? he rejects the mentor’s attempt to exchange his own life for his. he’s not willing to consider a life without him.
but shinpachi is convinced no one is going to die. because they’ll be there together. incredibly naive - shinpachi and kagura, restricted to one option by what they need to protect like everyone is in 4devas, have acting as that one option because they are still free in a way gintoki and the other adults aren't. they’ve never actually experienced the impossible choice that forces you to give up, so they can act as if there isn’t one - what else would they do? why would they think to give up?
but gintoki is defined by having lived the impossible choice. its built into the foundation of him as a character and leaks out everywhere. he couldn’t have relied on his friends on the cliff because they were quite forcibly removed from the picture as an option, not by his or their choice. its written as an inevitability, logistics we find out later be damned.
if we refocus to 4devas, we can look at the Gintoki Figure for a different angle. jirochou, after he and gintoki resolve the arc conflict by being able to team up because they - say it with me - put everything out in the open, tells gintoki about his impetus for abandoning his family and coming back to his wayward life in kabukicho, the death of otose's husband.
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it's, um, another now really obvious parallel to gintoki, lol. characters talk about how jirochou does everything he does in this arc to try to atone for his failure to both otose and tatsugorou, and i guess thats true bc he was written that way but he has an odd way of showing it, but anyways he resolves that, despite his guilt over this, all he can do now is keep living and keep protecting what they loved together. he's come to the usual gintama message all on his own, reinforcing that this is the correct way to live in this series. he had his own unavoidably shitty situation, and he came to terms with it.
so then where did jirochou go wrong, in the narrative's eyes (other than abandoning one woman and their child to deal drugs in the town of his other woman while ignoring her)? was there a point he could've changed how their trio's story played out? but he loved and trusted tatsugorou, and he was happy to step aside and let him be the one by their otose's side. i doubt he would have been happy stealing her away even if it were possible.
but if we look at the resolution tool of 4devas... he never put everything out in the open!!! everyone knows he loved otose, but in more of an open secret way. in classic romance plot, he never confessed for second male lead rejection closure. indeed, in the closest we ever get to a main character having a romantic plot in gintama, the very ending of the arc flirts with him doing just that now that he's made a little progress with the arc message, with the entire cast of the arc expecting him to (and interrupting before he can).
but if he had when they were young. if he had been honest with his friends. could it have opened up other options that weren't available on his own, that they didnt know to offer? i have a preferred one lol. but u can get creative with all sorts of life paths that avoid tatsugorou dying that way or, at the least, jirochou feeling chained to a shameful life (living in a town he doesn't go out in to protect a woman he doesnt talk to and feeling like he doesnt deserve the family he abandoned for this) because of it.
and then if we take this and rewind back to the cliff... we get to grind my favorite ax, "shouyou shouldve told literally anyone literally anything about his deal." if gintoki knew more about shouyou, they could've faced his horrors together, the whole time. he couldve known that shouyou was being literal calling himself a demon and not internalized his own identity as one for life just because shouyou bonded with him over it. i truly genuinely think the logical conclusion of all of gintama's big messages are that shouyou and gintoki should have been more open with each other.
but i don't think sorachi thinks that. and, you know, by 4devas rules, the unriskable precious things he was protecting by staying silent were his students' humanity, and secondarily his own fragilely newly hopeful heart that literally couldnt stand another 10 millionth round of rejection (killed himself and then went on a 12 year rampage over it. girl i would too).
and takasugi really isn't dishonest about what's going on in his head when he tells us he expects to die for shouyou. that's as cards on the table as i could ask. gintoki is, a little bit, by omission. he does what i'd want him to here - tells takasugi try just not dying - but doesn't give him a reason to, and doesn't tell him he has no plans of letting anyone die for shouyou.
so what goes wrong on the cliff - shouyou is happy, gintoki is happy, oboro's even kind of happy, katsura is irrelevant - is that takasugi is blindsided (whoops) by their silent agreement that betrays the one he thought he and gintoki had. and then ruins everyone's party about it and spends the next ten years doing so for good measure.
which is also, basically, what shinpachi is going through that prompts the bitchslap, too. he thought they were a team, that they had each others backs, not that gintoki is a one-way protector of them. he is blindsided by gintoki lying to and tricking them and hiding things from them. he is hurt by gintoki feeling hopeless all by himself when he could share that with them and be encouraged by their endless child optimism.
and would it need to have changed anything on the cliff? in the moment after the bitchslap, what contributes to gintoki changing his mindset is tama telling him, we trust that you're capable bc youve always shown us that, can you trust us this time? when, later in the arc, gintoki seems to regress by sending kagura and shinpachi away, he asks them to trust that he's still trusting them, relying on them to help shoulder his burden, and in return they know he's staying alive, not self sacrificing. maybe it would've helped just to feel on the same team and not shut out, to be able to trust gintoki like gintoki was trusting shouyou?
so. two paralleled instances of gintoki making a bad situation worse by keeping to himself and being too self sufficient. that feels clear cut that feels fine im okay with that as a takeaway. do i think its exactly what sorachi had in mind while writing this, as opposed to just a good series 'hey lean on your friends' moment to read cool and tug at the heartstrings? eh lol. i think theres definitely room to read takasugi into this arc (i still need to refind the takagin 4devas post...) but its not so baked in that i think he was a PRIORITY in the plotting.
but is the shinpachi SCOLDING necessary is the scolding justified... and yes its in response to life doesnt need to be fun i just want you to live. still a confusing framing i can't immediately square. but/and more immediately its directly responding. to gintoki opening up to them about his insecurities!!
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which, as said, he doesnt do!! he doesnt talk about his failures! its basically like, here and to hijikata that one time and otherwise even when we know all the facts about what happened we still never hear gintoki himself talk about it. (so he really DOESNT learn the lesson here either. he stays dissociated and triggered every time utsuro comes up. he tries to solve the altana baby problem on his own. he doesnt talk to his new friends OR his old friends. bwah. gintoki. silver soul.)
so this is like. its just in the wrong order!! its just in a baffling order lol. if you want gintoki to share his burden do you need to punch him when he shares it. does it also need to sound like you're blaming him for not being capable of upholding his promise to protect anyone when thats the insecurity thats got him all discombobulated this arc in the first place (a whole set of notes i took on this that i didnt find a place for in this post)?? its so weeeeiiiiiirddd lol i dont liiikeee itttttt. theres plenty of things shinpachi can validly punch gintoki for but this is such a weird one.
so i guess. having a clearer understanding of this arc do i hate it less? YES honestly. i hate fakeout plots generally they irritate me but everything... more or less makes sense by gintama standards now that i have the whole plot in mind.
do i hate jirochou less SORT OF? i enjoy him. in his individual relationships. i like his shitty dad deal i love shitty dads. i like him pining for otose who genuinely likes him but also brings up her husband every sentence she says to him just to keep him down. i like his parallels with gintoki that they both explicitly acknowledge and find macho comfort in. hes still not theeeeeeeee most well-developed gintama antagonist but you know? i at least think otose and pirako would want to be around him after this.
do i feel like i have a clearer understanding of the bitchslap moment. NOT CONVINCED I DO. i feel like its going to be one of those things that slips in and out of my understanding like sand in cupped hands. i have a tentative understanding of it that i dont think sorachi actually had in mind. so i dont think ive solved it lol.
will i be cursed to think about 4devas forever? god i hope not. am i okay with it beating farewell shins in the polls. god i fucking hope it does. in the horrible timeline where i have to see 305 make it all the way and then lose i guess id rather it be to this one than to hijigin. consider this poll propaganda?
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As a non homestuck, what deos that mean👀
ough i wanted to be vague and quick but no i wasn't im so sorry fnsdmag tw for transphobia mostly i guess
homestuck ends. it's a somewhat open ended ending and they dont show the "proper" final battle, but it was implied in the comic already how it was going to go. a lot of people remained disappointed in that, but i personally think its a good one
people keep pestering hussie, creator of the comic, to continue the story
hussie, well known troll (haha) who more often than not both praised and made fun of the fandom directly in the comic, writes the epilogues. they're mostly awful and they're the umpteenth big fuck you to the fandom really; one is the "shipping" ending where everything goes bad bc everyone focuses only on shipping, the one is the "fighting" ending where everything goes bad and everyone fucking dies basically. it has some good ideas, there's more fourth wall breaking, but overall its an inconsistent sexist and misoginistic mess made out of spite by someone who clearly didn't want to work on homestuck anymore
it also features character assassination, be it "this character who's entire plot was about not wanting to be alone anymore is now a sex-crazed maniac who doesnt take no as an answer", "this character who was groomed all her life to be a dictator actually becomes hitler" or "this character who a lot of people hc as mtf is now ftm, but specifically in a timeline, in the other they still identify as female". you could argue it's bc the story is about one of the characters having a villain arc and managing to take control of the story and rewrite them, but he's also regressed to be someone who's obsessed with a character we were told he wasn't in love with anymore AND also says transphobic stuff so.
hussie actually opens the epilogues with one of the character saying pretty clearly that they're "beyond canon", and makes sure that everyone known that anything written outside of the comic itself, including sidecomics, videogames and the epilogues themselves, is as canon as you want it to be. unfortunately homestuck fans cant read and that + the fact that the epilogue end in a cliffhanger, homestuck 2 has to happen
hussie wants nothing to do with it and leaves the project to someone else. they give little to no details of the plot if not a few plotpoints, one of which being the fact that a character must be named yiffany
one of the people who was supposed to work on hs2 and the tie-in visual novel games "friendsim" starts fights with readers on twitter and is later on outed as a really bad person of the biphobic and ableist variety
on a minor note, some updates are patreon exclusive, and not in a "they'll eventually be posted" way, but in a "either you follow the patreon or you dont get the whole experience" kind of way
the story also has to follow the aformentioned sexist transphobic racist bullshit, to which they add terribly written "bury your gays" plot and also cheating!! no matter the timeline my girl kanaya gets shafted and cheated on and by now im gonna be real it really smells like lesbophobia in here
also futa jokes. like we all agree that the candy jade situation is fucked up right
in all of this, "what pumpkin" actually starts drama with a youtuber or something. idk. it's the team that sells the hs merch it's even more complicated. oh and also the videogame being so delayed that's a whole can of worms too.
anyway hussie actually says that they dont give a shit no more about homestuck and sell the rights to someone else. first thing we're told is that they're going to drop the 2 from the title of homestuck 2, turning it into homestuck: beyond canon. pretty much openly saying that no, this has nothing to do with homestuck, and it's officially Not Canon.
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carnis-insanis · 3 months
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oml im obsessed with Wolsey n Warwick!!!!!!! could we see how they looked as kids.....?
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im very glad that u like em!! tho they looked muuuch different when they were younger lol
they actually had sort of a, career swap once they reached adulthood!
firstly, Wolsey was sort of desperate to experience the outside world like everyone else did, so they began searching in the constant for a way out. though as they explored the constant more and more they have fallen in love with its uniqueness and decided to become an alchemist instead and find whatever other secrets the constant was hiding.
When it comes to Warwick tho. They had always been just as annoying as they are now, they were just simply...lazy. In their youth they were a botanist, believing that if their father had created something, it must be great, but eventually Warwick grew bored and began yearning for something unique, so they started to go on adventures, hoping to find some clarity that their sibling had found, just to find out that theyre a real adrenaline junkie and a kleptomaniac, now its them thats searching for a way to get out of the constant lol. Also, they inherited Maxwells poor eye-sight, but they stopped wearing glasses after they kept breaking on adventures.
tho, both of them had ALWAYS been spoiled brats. They got in trouble all the fucking time with little to none consequences so they both had picked up from their parents on how to be annoying and sarcastic, they also both have high standards for......everything, gifts, clothes, food...ok Wolsey isnt too picky about food,they have PICA and often munch on sticks and rocks
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yikes-strikes-again · 9 months
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highlights from my adventures in Area X, totally blind the whole time until i finished Acceptance. Spoilers for all of it.
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me being neurotic about spoilers (this is a common theme)
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obsessed with how this is my first instance of theorizing. the last two sentences are eerily accurate and i can't believe i said "alien planet" that's hilarious
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this is good analysis too bad i was missing a key piece of information that makes my inadequate conclusion actually make sense
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middle of Annihilation, first attempt at analyzing Where lies...this is actually pretty close to what I think about the tower text Now except missing the parts that would have never occurred to me without reading further (that the Crawler is Saul and that Area X is not on earth).
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aw this is so cute. They don't even know about the first expedition footage with the sky leviathan POV (i have a pet theory that SR used that clip specifically to brainwash the husband. this is supported by his anecdote of falsely attributing memory to lived experience when its origin was television, as a young child)
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i was so right
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this is so funny. you are like a little baby
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this is still Based
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The Antics
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this theory is so fucking funny considering how much grace hates lowry
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this was like the least brutal of my Control roasts. they ramped up considerably in Acceptance
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then i stopped reading the trilogy for eight months and had to start over Authority. but i still thought about it. this is me thinking about it.
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This was me like a third of the way into Authority. What the fuck. It's not that creepy when you consider the information dispensed by that point but it's still kind of creepy how accurate my actual predictions were when my ideas were still wrong
then i went to sleep and
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so true, me. So righteously true. magic IS real and it's coming to fuck up your town
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Future me here: Yea it was a red herring
More Control roasts:
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CALL ME IMPORTANT THAT'S MY NAME
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Fragment of my "Area X clones are agents of germination" theory. I felt so smart at the end of Authority. So in Control if you will. And then
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it was fucking life changing. the homosexuals that they were
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first drama in the gc...
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This is when the amount of Divine Knowledge brought to me by Accemptance started to get to my consciousness. Once i start saying phrases like "the virgin control and the chad ghost bird" and "the Caroline to his GlaDOS" and "everyone is a clone of a clone of a clone of a clone" that's when you know i've lost the thread
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more disjointed quotes because i ran out of images:
"the BASED control vs. the CRINGE everyone else is no longer the dynamic because he's not narrating. i feel like i just broke up with him" "so does ghost bird probably"
"The time dilation really came out of left field. Kind of like a "well shit. thats a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didnt even really need solving. but damn if it didnt just get solved so nice work"" <- me forgetting how hard i tried to solve the mystery of the cellar journals compost
"When they see that reflection of themselves, they despise it, they need to destroy it This series is about environmentalism as much as it could be The need to make Area X an enemy with a pathological desire to destroy says more about the humans than it does Area X. When they see themselves, they hate so much what they see. But I don't think Area X necessarily hates humans at all. Only the biologist/Ghost Bird can even seem to contemplate that. Maybe Whitby could, briefly, in his endless circular ramblings, but that did not quell his fear and hatred for himself" <- rumination on automatic senseless clone violence
at one point i got whiplash from the Grumpy emotion i got from biologist's borderline ecofascism to the Intense Bittersweet of Saul's fatherly attachment to Gloria in light of everything and then the Pain of trying so hard not to laugh at the thought of someone saying "Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot, I'm aware this looks strange" in response to being caught washing a mouse
"phone creature even BETTER than mouse washing" I characterized the phone creature as "little Lowry - his son that he doesn't want" because that amuses me forever
i love how i'm like "i could pass on more of lowry, i'm so sick of that guy" and then proceed to write four Thousand words of meta about him. i like the Theory of lowry. he's a horrible broken man who throws drinks at milves
and i love imagining that everyone who comes back from Area X is a clone no matter what not because that makes any sense but because i get to imagine two versions of every character. i'm like "i love the idea of Lowry being a clone all this time and somehow being protected from the fact by a quirk of his creation. And that he's imperfect compared to Original Lowry in odd ways but SR just chalked up his change to the intense trauma of the event, and if it ever seriously occurred to them they decided it didn't really matter. And if he knew. I don't know what he'd do And real Lowry is a megalodon in the ocean terrorizing plankton instead of lower-tier bureaucrats"
another thought: "I still love the thing that stitches across the sky. I think it's an avian cosmic leviathan, as the biologist is an amphibious cosmic leviathan. You could call it a dragon."
i ended up with a pretty secure Grand Unifying Theory that isn't interesting because you probably all have the same one. It's about the process
my final words of wisdom:
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that's the books.
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twocrabcake · 8 months
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alright here’s the deal
i’m gonna make a percentage of how many trap victims/related persons survive
wish me luck this is gonna be tedious 🫡
it’s been an hour or two since i wrote that lol i got busy
idk i’m starting when its like 12am????
survived: iiiiiiiiii
not: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
special (survived): iiiiiii
special (not): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
special is either 1 the game was rigged or 2 they beat the game but died some other related way (ex: adam) 3 or if it was up to somebody else to save you as part of their game (ex: eric matthews, like a lot of them actually)
special good is when it was rigged/something was against them or different but they still beat it. hold on hold up i’m looking for an example rn. ok the secretary lady deborah or something she was in a trap out of her control but she survived.
(timing these for some reason) 1:12 am
dude idk where to put matthews bc his first game was a fluke and he survived but he was also like saved? idk man i’ll think about it (i put him in special died OH GOD NO LOOK AT NOTES)
i can’t put my headcanons/theory’s in here okay cowabummer dude (i have to put adam in dead i’m sorry ok)
1:20 (^im realizing now a shit ton of these fall into the special category whoopsies maybe i got too specific)
1:28 aw dude the fatal 5 are gonna suckkkk bc they’re all working together and linked and connected and shit fhhhghh
1:33 okay dude the steam lady is difficult bc the first half was a special but the last wasn’t. fuck it im just gonna say she could have survived the burns herself
1:40 can’t decide if the first and rebooted games from jigsaw should be put in together or if they should be separate. i just finished i smoked an entire bowl and i am trying my best here ok
1:50 the train guys is rigged they don’t explicitly say it but there’s no way
1:58 alright. fucking finally. that experience was just a downward spiral haha get it bc i hate that movie. also hate jigsaw the movie jigsaw. this was very unpleasant once i’m done with this shit i’m gonna fall asleep to saw 5 or smthn.
2:02 i have to use a counter online bc i’m too tired to count all those little i bitches
2:06 the fruits of my labor. my creation. behold
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Pie chart
there we fucking go. a ratio. OH MY GOD THEY FUCKING SEPARATED THE 2 DEADS IM GONNA KILL. YOU. YOU WILL BE BOILED.
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oh thank god
ok so there it is. the ratio of victims that survived and victims who’ve perished in jigsaws traps. you don’t know how much footage i’ve skimmed through. 1 like=1 ass kicking for to me because what was i thinking
me laying down in bed after this ↓
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WAIT NO I FORGOT TO INCLUDE FUCKING ERIC MATTHEWS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.
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2:18 ok here it is. the real true official one.
sorry for all that. thank you for accompanying me on this task. i did not have fun. except when i was watching 1-3d but then after that it sucked. 1-3d even took up almost all of the view time but the last bits were so unpleasant it threw that all out the window. gonna go watch one of the original saw movies. you can tell saw x will be good bc it has saw in the name. the title. oh my god oh god i’m realizing i forgot people. i think i forgot bobby. what the hell man screw this i’m going to sleep. i’ll deal with it when i wake up and wonder what the fuck i was on last night. thank you for joining me on this journey of a mental breakdown everybody. a mental spiral, even, if you will. i’m imagining cheesy ending scene music like the character/actor is thanking the audience. signing, logging off at 2:34 am. goodnight everyone.
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celluloidbroomcloset · 5 months
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(tw for rape/rape mentions!)
just witnessed the most actually deranged post i've ever seen in my life:
"I feel like if Izzy had made Stede stab him for his own (sexual?) gratification, at gunpoint, we'd be seeing posts calling him a rapist, is all I'm saying"
?????? this shit is getting ridiculous 😭 i've never seen fandom infighting going so far and get so dramatic i feel like everyone really, really needs to take a couple steps back here. as an actual rape and abuse survivor myself seeing people using it as a pawn in their stupid game about fictional characters is so fucking maddening. the roundabout way they're not directly saying people could consider this act ed performed sexual assault is actually sickening (like this concept is a weapon they're CHOOSING not to wield, not a serious thing that they shouldn't just be flinging around like it means nothing) and using it as a way to further how izzy is the real Good Guy with no thought to how the things they're saying affect real world victims is insane, beyond tone deaf and compassion void. goes double for all the abuse apologism people happily fling about obviously as well as if abuse survivors just aren't in fandom and can see the shit they go around saying.
this is the most abnormal fandom environment i've ever witnessed in my life and i've been in some BAD ones. the victimising complexes of certain izzy fans are bizarre...
this isn't like a plea for everyone to just Get Along because i do think people should be aware of certain sociopolitical and intracommunity issues like this and willing to call out and expel abhorrent behaviour including abuse apologism, racism, homophobia/transphobia and transmisogyny, and of course harassment, but it's really on another level... i really wish everyone would just really utilise the block button or even just old fashioned DNI's and address things as they come up and communicate if necessary without waiting around like a spider in a web to jump down people's throats/start conversations that will just end in argument 😭 i understand that it's warranted and people on "both sides" are acting in similar ways but it's starting to feel less like occasional normal amounts of discourse and more like a really uncomfortable environment and it can't be healthy for anyone involved. sorry i kind of went on a tangent there lol all of that is generalising and directed at this fandom as a whole fwiw.
....that's....WHAT?! I mean, yeah, if Izzy did that, it would be not great, because of who the characters are, but that is one fucking weird hypothetical.
I am still new here, but coming in from the outside and wading into the tags was and continues to be fucking weird. Because 9/10s of the posts are fine, and then there's this strange, distressing faction that is very small but so vocal as to make it hard on everyone else. I've seen a lot of posts that are just explicitly dismissive of emotional and psychological abuse, or are attempting to justify those things as Not Really Abuse. Yes, this is a fictional show; no, it is not perfect in its representation, and there's stuff that I wish they had done differently or better. But there are also real-world things in there, and one of the things that I've liked about it is how it upends a lot of the problematic tropes and expectations of the genre.
I've said before that I'm troubled by anyone who looked at Izzy in Season 1 and went "that's my guy, he's never done anything wrong" and MEANT IT and continue to mean it.
Most of the folks I've interacted with have been lovely. There's this small group who just...are not, but who very badly want everyone else to conform to their particular brand of not-okayness. It's fucking dangerous.
I strongly recommend blocking immediately. The more you block, the better tailored your experience will be to you and the less you have to deal with the assholes.
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thestarseersystem · 5 months
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This is why I don't want to make friends in the system community. I want to. I do. But I'm sick of being misinterpreted. I'm sick of having to deal with a stranger's triggers. I'm sick of having to fight against someone else's s*scourse opinions. I'm sick of being forced to voice my own.
I just want to have a genuine experience in this community. I want to talk to people who just want to share and discuss their opinions. I don't want to talk to someone who is triggered to the point of struggling to say the right thing.
I've thought about making a discord server for systems. I've thought about it real hard and asked myself if its worth it. Do I put my identity out there for other people to scrutinize? Do I take the risk that some people in this community are actually nice and want to interact with me? Do I talk to people who may start rumors about me, or get all their other system friends to hate me? I truly doubt anyone would be that dedicated or sadistic to do that to a random stranger they just met. But anonymity is important to some extent. Am I willing to risk sharing my voice or appearance to a bunch of strangers that I don't actually know?
It just feels like a mistake trying to reach out to people who won't give me the time of day to have an honest conversation with them. And I'm not talking about one person. Please don't see it that way. I'm saying I don't trust most system blogs who are willing to weaponize their knowledge over someone's feelings. Especially to someone who is likely untreated and unable to receive treatment.
I'm so sick of being in this disingenuous community. I should be allowed to discuss and document my trauma journey without experiencing intense scrutiny and judgement. And I wish it was the same for everyone else.
I reblog posts for discussion and intellectual conversation. I want meaningful interactions. I want to talk about stuff without having to pull up 15 bagillion sources for every fucking word I say.
I'm not here to be scrutinized and judged by strangers all over again, like I'm being abused in an organized fashion. Friends are nice to each other, community members hold some level of respect and etiquette towards each other, let's share more compassion. But until then, I'll be here, with friends, who just happen to be systems.
I'm not going to make friends just because they are systems, I literally can't trust it.
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how do you get so good at analysis? ;_; i'm really dumb and take things at surface value, which i've been fine with up until now but seeing you read umineko so deeply makes me kinda like.... jealous isn't the right word? that sounds too spiteful. it just makes me feel like i'm missing out on a more fun way to experience things. but it seems so daunting i don't even know how to start. to me it seems like picking out every detail and exaggerating it as far as possible but it's obviously more refined than that because you're able to keep things together thematically and make some good theories. do you have any advice for it?
Hi, anon!
Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re being jealous/spiteful with this ask. I also used to want to write analysis on things because they seem fun, and actually this is my first proper try at it! I think I’ve said it before but if I’m not careful I’ll binge everything on first watch/read and miss details. (This is why I rewatch Utena every other month). So yes, I know sometimes I’m grasping at straws but that’s because I’m actively squeezing everything I can out of a page/scene.
I think what sets this liveblog apart and the reason I can pick up threads/themes is that Umineko seems very upfront about what it wants to say.
「MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, EVERYONE WANTED A LOT OF MONEY RIGHT NOW…!」
Utena is the same in that - even though people say it’s too symbolic - I think the fact that it bares its inner mechanisms for all to see is a huge kindness. If everything means something else, or represents both itself and a larger concept, then a show where everything is allegorical is actually discarding layers of obfuscation.
I think a good place to start to Notice Themes is at the very beginning.
The Golden Witch invites you to take things easy and accept them as they come, but The Revolutionary Witch tells you that - in any story - the first introductions matter the most.
Up until now, Umineko has drilled inside our heads again and again, repetition after repetition, that the Ushiromiya’s Western schtick is a product of Kinzo’s reverse weeb affectations. He started many of the “traditions” that seem so inescapable, he invented the name for the fucking chair he sits at the breakfast table and the order of the seats according to his own patriarchal standards.
His Western obsession is tied very obviously with his “black magic” obsession and he even gets angry when you don’t call them “grimoires” because part of the charm of magic is that it’s foreign and cool. He speaks of black magic when ranting about his urges to sexually abuse a dead Beatrice, all his children speak of Western things when recalling their own childhood and abuse.
The only exception to this is Kinzo’s Japanese sword - both a true object and a phallic symbol that doesn’t deny itself its origins - that he uses to spank Jessica’s naked butt.
I feel like, in Umineko, you just need to sit and listen to the characters and wonder at their motivations. But you also need to wonder about the choice of presentation.
For example, Kanon alone in the garden after he left the conversation, being dismissed by Gohda. All he says is “…even me” or something among those lines, very mysterious! But the way this is presented, the camera not caring about the Cousins + Adults but following an actor after he’s being kicked out of the stage? Unusual! Curious! Very interesting! The way the narrative describes it, (paraphrasing here) “you needed to get closer if you wanted to hear the words whispered to his heart”? Why would it be written like that? Who is the narrator speaking to?
So I think - to make an analysis close in methodology to what I’m doing - you need to question what’s onscreen, not in a “this isn’t real” way (it may not be real but that’s not the focus!), but in a “why is this being shown the way it is” way. This is a novel after all. Choices of words, choices of POV, what is described and what’s left unsaid!
Those are the tips from the Revolutionary Witch!
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— Rose, the Revolutionary Witch
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cator99 · 4 months
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I've been doing a lot of planning and a massive barrier is my total confusion surrounding car operation. Motorized bikes have always made sense to me... theres a real feeling of control there like it's an extension of my body? Its instinctual. Idk how to explain this well im experiencing cognitive decline because my period is coming this is a real observed phenomena btw I'm not just a misogynist it's just some hormonal shit. Anyways. Every time I get behind the wheel of a car with the intent to drive it yknow I get it all ready and strap myself in and then I'm like "wait this is actually soo retarded wtf" and then immediately get out. Also instinctual. How to overcome that? Ive tried so many times and it's just like ew who came up with this shit! It repulses me on every level. And no it's not anxiety. I want to change my approach to this so I can get really into it and not just feel like I'm doing this in service of my larger goals- although yes that is true. But if I'm gonna do anything at all and get anything out of it then my full investment is ideal. God even if I wanna just ride a motorbike my whole life I have to fucking start with a G1 license like everyone else which doesn't make sense as a trajectory it's not even the same thing not even close to a similar machine operating experience I don't fucking get it. Sure getting a G1 demonstrates that you can be trusted with what's considered the "bare minimum" of vehicle operations - but it shouldn't be. You should start with fewer wheels. And be forced to work your way up to more wheels. But the worst part is the fact that I'm not centred in the middle of the vehicle. Why do they force me into a corner on the road? My entire body feels lopsided. Like one of my legs is under me and the other is across the room.
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valittlecorner · 10 months
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¡¡KENREO lore headcanons!! (VERY LONG POST DEAL W ME)
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I was asked to provide and ended up discovering my niche. The kenreo likers. Also using this post to manifest akyr winning this round so these two can meet again. These are all my headcanons that basically cover how I think the whole relationship of these two would go (sorry I'm insane).
♡ ¿How do they get closer?
- One day, Kenta sneaks out of Public Service to go to a nearby arcade. He's barely getting to play something when he ends up Reo, who apparently hangs out there from time to time. Reo starts messing with Kenta's gaming skills which results in them having a mini battle in some arcade games like smash and mortal kombat. They have so much fun but! The battle ends up as a tie, barely, cause Kenta kept fucking up under pressure lmao. Still disappointing I know. They're both so competitive (and curious abt knowing each other properly) they promise to meet at the arcade every time Kenta has Public Service until they get a better result. This goes on and on for way too much time. The tie seemed never-ending cause they kept purposefully getting ties so the meetings can keep going without killing anyone's pride. Eventually they got tired of the same arcade so they went hanging out elsewhere, like Reo's place (they play in the family console!) or random places related to games (like those buildings full of claw machines!). Its good to clarify Kenta deadass escaped his duties every single time they hung out, mf thought he was sleek but absolutely everyone knew he was seeing someone. Same happened with reo. And we're talking about it real quick.
♡ Okay but what abt gklk/akyr
- So ofc Gklk would notice Kenta randomly missing from PUBLIC SERVICE. At first they didn't find him and he just came back before Service was over, but eventually they found out where he was. Yuto tried to pick him up but had to go through the experience of watching Kenta painfully trying to flirt. It wasn't an amazing experience but Yuto still found it cute and saw it as a way for Kenta to get back to society, so he let the guy be. Yuto did tell everyone else from Gklk and kept making proud dad comments like "ohh I'm so glad Reo is helping you become a better person!!! You'll be back in society soon!!!! :33" making Kenta very mad and embarrassed. Meanwhile my man Ryoga didn't care enough abt the news, but Shion kept annoying Kenta and poking fun at him for not knowing how to flirt or at least be less awkward around his crush lmao. Now Akyr didn't really know about it for a while, but Satsu + Hoku did find them eventually. They innocently tried to join the arcade gaming but were dragged out by Reo. They instantly knew what was going on and snitched to Iori and Zen. Reo was asked abt it but he just avoided every question😭 it was still painfully obvious something else was happening for those who knew him. Most Akyr don't really mind it tho, as long as he's happy yknow. Except Satsuki, who used this chance to mess around w Reo every single time Kenta was around, which led to insane arguments that usually ended with someone crying and snitching to Iori or Zen (mostly Reo). Zen didn't quite like the news for his bad experience w Hancho, but after a while he accepted it, Kenta seemed decent. Overall everyone from both sides finds it cute, ofc everyone would be supportive of the little brothers of two different families who started dating.
♡ The process of actually starting to date
- Oh god the process was A PAIN. Reo is very teasy and flirty at the same time while Kenta is a flustered mess that cannot stand anything without dying. Kenta is touch starved and Reo is a hugger who can read Kenta like an open book, but at the same time Reo can underestimate Kenta's clingyness. It's basically a war within the openly clingy and the shyly clingy. Over all their meetings there's always been that vibe of awkwardness over them trying their hardest to flirt SERIOUSLY but failing miserably, just teen stuff. They can't even hold hands cause Kenta refuses (too shy) so Reo has to forcefully hug him at times. But even with all of that, the one to confess first would actually be Kenta himself!!! Now listen, he has enough pride to not allow Reo to make 90% of the moves AND ALSO CONFESS??? Hell nah he had to do at least something for the relationship. So at one of their usual meetings Kenta kept trying to get enough courage to actually confess to an oblivious Reo with every gklk member watching from afar (Emotional support!). When Reo was already leaving Kenta had THE GUTS to confess to him after like 5 hours of hanging out which ended in Reo being like "bro fucking finally I was anxious all day cause I thought you'd give up after failing to confess like 6 times today!!!!" Reo was not that oblivious it seems. After publicly embarrassing Kenta, Reo just hugs him, says sorry and they officially start dating now. Beautiful. From this moment on, they'll try to manage seeing each other considering their messy ass backgrounds. And we'll talk about that too I have everything calculated.
♡ Okay but what abt the government
- In the current pararai timeline, if they started dating right now (Trust round) they'd still have plenty of time to be around each other considering Gokuluck is already at the finals therefore wouldn't have to return to prison just yet. But from then on, there's a shit ton of possibilities. If anyone who isn't gklk wins pararai, then they'd return straight back to prison, and the minis would be SEPARATED broken heart. If thats the case they'd probably text each other religiously (reminder Kenta has a laptop/pc thingy in prison) and Reo would visit him a lot. It feels really weird for two teenagers to meet each other IN PRISON but oh well this is the only reasonable outcome. It'd be very sad if that happened to the minis so vote gokuluck for the win so they don't go back to prison aha🏆 (subtle spam).
COMPILATION OF SMALLER HEADCANONS that I refuse to leave out
- Reo dressed Kenta as a discord kitten as a joke. Kenta kept the kitty earphones. They're somewhere but he wouldn't go out with them.
- Kenta's love language is sending incomprehensible memes to Reo or weird images he'd caption "us." Reo's love language is replying with those goofy pics with a pink bg and sanrio characters on top with overlayed text reading "this could be us but you play league of legends".
- Kenta is the #1 hater of publicly showing affection but when they're alone he's the biggest hugger and most clingy being on earth.
- Reo sends a "good morning!!! ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃" "good night~ (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠`⁠)⁠。⁠*゚⁠+" every single day. Kenta just replies with "gm" "gn". Dry ass texter.
- Reo's hobby is giving Kenta ugly hairstyles while claiming he's making him "prettier".
- They're trying very hard to hide their relationship from the public, it's working rn but who knows for how long....
OKAY I'M DONE. FUCK THIS IS A LOT NAHSJS. Only pararai ship I've dedicated this much energy towards omg!! I just feel they're lacking content so I did God's work, you're welcome.
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