#the way he stood up as soon as his mom pushed neil

[ickypuppi3]

cannot stop thinking about how baby billy launched himself at neil to try to protect his mom and then proceeded to get back up and go straight to her after neil shoved him aside to get him out the way

[thisisnotourlasthunt]

Andrew Showing The Foxes His Love Through Actions.

All through “All for the game” we can see how Andrew shows his love through actions. I believe that Andrew does care for his teammates and I know I; m not the only one, so I wrote this. (Also, I will just forget about the choking scene because N*ra did their relationship so badly, like- ugh, that’s for another time)

Tw: Curse words, references to the foxes pasts, punches, vomit, Riko, mentions of scars, mentions of nightmares, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of past self-harm, probably many spelling and grammar mistakes.

Allison.

It happened during a game, the foxes were winning and the other team were getting exasperated because they could not get past the backliners and if they could, Andrew would not let them score.

During the last minutes of the game, a player from the other team made Allison trip on purpose and “accidentally” kicked her.

Everyone else were too far away from them.

Except Andrew.

When the referee called the fault, Andrew was already there, punching the guy resulting in him taking a step back and falling to the ground.

As the referee gave him a yellow card, Andrew extended his arm to help Allison up.

And if he asked Renee how bad the injury was, no one had to know. 

Matt.  

When Matt was visiting his mom during summer vacations, they decided to go shopping, there he found the most adorable hoodies. It was orange on the outside and the inside had a really soft and warm fabric, which was white and had orange paw prints. But the best part was that the hoodie had fox ears.

Matt obviously bought nine of them.

“Disgusting.” Andrew had said, which Matt had obviously expected, so he thought nothing of it.

Everyone wore them, Aaron had given his to Katelyn, except Andrew.

But when winter came, Matt saw Andrew get out of his dorm room with the hoodie on, pulling it tighter against himself when a cold air blast came.

“Not a word.” Andrew deadpanned, pointing at Matt, when he noticed him, before leaving the tower.

Matt smiled the whole day.

Dan.

During one of their dinner bankets, the foxes were placed into pairs and told to socialize with the other teams. The pairs were meticulously design so that ‘the monsters’ (minus Nicky) interacted. This meant every ‘monster’ was placed with an upperclassmen. Andrew got Dan.

So when they Dan were talking to some players from Penn State, the Ravens decided to join.

They began talking sh¡t about Dan’s time as a stripper.

Andrew didn’t say or do a thing, knowing Dan was capable on fighting her own fights, she is the first female captain on Exy, but he does stand to the side, throwing a death glare to them.

But when one of them decide it’s a good idea to slap her in the butt when she is distracted....Andrew intervienes.

He grabs the Raven’s wrist, twisting it before pushing him into a table.

Dan is surprised, to say the least, but she knows that the Raven will get a worst fate if she leaves Andrew like that. 

Calmly, she tells him she is okay and that the Raven didn’t touch her and that he can look and see for himself.

The latter does the trick, Andrew turns his murderous glare at Dan so she turns in place extending her arms showing him that the Raven did nothing to her.

Andrew calms after a while and stands up, glancing at the Raven one more time. 

The rest of the night Andrew does not leave Dan’s side until they head back home. Dan attaches herself to that memory forever. 

Renee.

Renee and Andrew sparred at least once a week, more whenever Andrew was having a bad day.

Such as that moment, Aaron’s trial was just around the corner and Andrew was not having it.

He went to Bee’s twice but it still wasn’t enough, so him and Renee spared.

But today was a specially not good day, Aaron’s lawyer had said that he’d have to speak about what happened that day.

Renee knew that Andrew was far more on his head than n the present so she wasn’t mad when Andrew threw her down to the mat and her hip bumped onto the floor.

For the first time since they spared that day, Renee saw Andrew actually see her.

His eyes were wide, probably surprised of what happened so she reassured him that she was okay and that it didn't hurt much and that she’d had much worse before.

But he didn’t listen to her and got off the mat.

Renee stood up and went for her water bottle, thinking that Andrew had gone to let out some steam alone.

But then he came back with an ice package in hand and gave it to her.

Renee thank him, placed it on her hip and sat near him while he starred to the distance in moral support.

Nicky.

Nicky wasn’t one to get sick often, but when it happened, he really got sick.

So when one day he wakes up with a headache and all of his bones ache, he knows he’s in trouble.

Not wanting anyone to be worried about him, Nicky tries to stand up, just for a blast of nausea hits him and he has to run to the bathroom before he pukes on their bedroom.

When he is done throwing his guts out, he brushes his teeth and walks out to the kitchen for a glass of water. But when he gets there, a water bottle is out with a bottle of Pepto-bismol beside it. 

In the middle of his confusion, Andrew and Aaron appear with a thermometer, a blanket and pills.

“Go lay down,” Andrew says with an uncharacteristically softness in his tone.

Nicky complies and walks towards the couch, Andrew protectively trailing behind him with his phone and a blanket.

“I don’t have any class today, Aaron has two in an hour but then he’ll be back. Tea?” Nicky is perplexed at this attention given by his cousins so he is only able to nod and think who were these people and what did they do with his cousins.

The rest of the day, the twins (mostly Andrew) take his temperature, give him his meds, cook for him and help him out whenever he needs it.

Nicky sleeps with a smile that day.

The next day, he feels much better, but because the sickness messed with his feelings, he has an urge to hug his cousins.

He asks for permission and surprisingly, Andrew says yes.

Nicky keeps the hug fast and makes sure he doesn’t make Andrew feel trapped.

He still cries at the memory. 

Aaron.

Out of all the foxes, Aaron is the one with the most difficult things to study. He is in fact studying pre-med.

So during the finals week, he is the most stressed.

There is this one class in which Aaron has been having the most trouble with and if he doesn’t pass the test, he’ll have to repeat the class. So to say that he was stressed was an understatement.

He begins studying for that class a week and a half before the exam is and the day before the exam, he skips gym, morning practice and afternoon practice.

He studies for the exam the whole day and had to be reminded to take breaks for the bathroom and meals constantly.

He is also forced by Andrew to sleep when he woke up at 3 am and Aaron was still awake, studying.

Aaron keeps thinking of the material as he tries to sleep, and isn’t able to until 4 am, he dreams on the material the whole night.

When he opens his eyes, he sees that the sun is much higher than usual, worried, he checks the time on his phone just for his fears to be true, his alarm didn’t sound and he slept through the whole exam.

He doesn’t even care to change and runs to the building. The door to his classroom is closed and the professor is not there.

“Can’t stop thinking about the exam? Me neither.” He hears one of his classmates say behind him.

“I didn’t even do it.” He says through his teeth.

“What do you mean? I saw you there.”

Aaron is confused so he asks more classmates if they saw him, and all of them said that yes, they saw him there.

Hurriedly he got to the tower and confronted Andrew if it was his doing and if he did the exam for him like they did in high school.

“I did.” was Andrew’s only response before walking out.

Aaron got a B⁺ a grade much better than if he had done it by himself.

Kevin.

After Riko died, his and Andrew’s deal could be done, but they had grown close, they had passed so much time together since Kevin escaped Evermore.

Neither of them would say it out loud, but they were each other’s best friend.

So when Kevin learned that his things would be thrown away from the Nest, he went into a spiral.

But when Andrew asked and Kevin couldn’t say why, Andrew made it his mission to know.

Neil had a few assumptions, but when he had been at the Nest, he had been too focused on his injuries that he wasn’t a good resource.

So Andrew contacted someone he never thought he would be speaking to. Jean.

Jean told Andrew of Kevin’s old bedroom and the things Kevin had to hide away from Riko because if he found them, Kevin would be punished. Yet he didn’t know what these secret things were. 

Thankfully, Jean knew where the hiding spot was.

The next day, Andrew took the Maserati in the early morning without a word (Neil knew but he had to act as if he didn’t), and made his way to Evermore.

Once there, he had to sneak inside, but given that the Nest was desolated for classes it was easy.

When Andrew got to where Jean had told him where the hiding spot was, he found a small shoe box.

Opening it, he found three things and Andrew immediately understood Kevin’s spiraling.

When he got back to the tower, he directly went to his dorm. Inside were Neil, Nicky and Kevin watching a game.

Andrew signaled Neil and the latter made Nicky follow him out.

“Where were you? You missed morning practice,” Kevin said as soon as they were alone.

Without a word, Andrew took the shoebox out of his bag and carefully gave it to Kevin, who took a shaky breath at the sight of it.

As soon as it was in Kevin’s hands, he opened it and carefully took the three things which were the last things he had from his mother.

A woman’s ring, a record player and a photograph. 

Tears immediately sprang from Kevin’s eyes and Andrew decided he would give Kevin his space.

“Thank you,” Kevin said as he opened the door, Andrew just nodded feeling a weird warmness in his chest.

Neil.

Andrew shows Neil his love in so many ways, helping him out during panic attacks, reminding him that he’s safe, holding his hand, kissing him, sharing a cigarette in the roof, stroking his hair when they cuddle and so much more.

But the most important thing Andrew does for Neil is letting the latter see his vulnerability and trust him with it.

It starts with simple things, Andrew letting Neil sleep with him in the same bed, cuddle together, sit on Andrew’s lap (and vice versa), etc.

But it slowly begins to increase, let Neil stay whenever he gets a nightmare and/or a panic attack, let Neil take care of him when he gets sick, let Neil cuddle on top of Andrew, let himself seek comfort in Neil, Andrew letting Neil take his armbands off, see and touch them.

It takes a long time, but Neil doesn’t mind, those little things are more than enough for him and he doesn’t expect more from Andrew, but welcomes this little things and holds onto them with all of him.

Bonus:

Wymack. 

Wymack is always threatening his foxes with running marathons and says that their personal stuff is over his pay rate, but oh doesn’t he care for them.

He works hard for them so they can have good things and safe and comfortable area for them, that’s why he had the walls on the showers made.

He loves the foxes, and they love them too.

One morning, he had to organize some piles of paperwork, but he had a stressing week and the night before he hadn’t been able to sleep good, so after a while of organizing paperwork, he decides he deserves a break.

The foxes are supposed to be in class so he doesn’t expect them until the afternoon. He goes to the lounge and lays down on the couch to “rest his eyes”.

He falls asleep almost instantly.

Andrew had forgotten something on the court after their morning practice so he decided to go now, he had finished his classes and knew that Wymack had to organize some paperwork, he was surprised to see the old man asleep.

Andrew could remember his initial fear of the man when he saw him the first time, he was tall, broad and serious, but he didn’t let it show. He had been waiting for the man to do something to him, but instead the man had respected his boundaries and didn’t ask when Andrew broke into his home in the late night and made himself a pot of hot cocoa (which had been bought for this reason).

So quietly, Andrew went to Wymack’s office and organized his paperwork, marking those who were missing one or two things with a post it and leaving right after he was done, not expecting the man to know it was him.

When Wymack woke up and walked back to his office he was surprised to see that his paperwork was organized. He mentally questioned who it was but when he read the post its he immediately knew it was Andrew, he knew all of his children’s handwritings, and made sure he bought Andrew’s favorite  chocolate ice cream.

Abby. 

Abby was the first one, apart from Bee, to see his scars. 

The first time she had tried to say something but she had seen something in his face because he didn’t and let him place the armbands back on.

After that she looked away when he took them off and just glanced at them for a second to make sure there were no track marks before turning around again so he could put the armbands back on.

(She knew there would not be track marks, so she just looked at them so there would be no new ones, he cared for her foxes.)

And during the physical exam, she made sure not to touch him more than necessary. 

Abby checks on Bee asking if he’s okay, she never expects an in depth answer, just a confirmation and she feels relief when Bee tells her that he is getting better.

On one of his sessions with Bee, she suggests Andrew that he should tell someone about his scars, preferably someone who has already seen them. 

Andrew knows what Bee is trying and Bee knows that Andrew knows and Andrew knows Bee knows that Andrew knows.

In the end, he does tell Abby. He keeps it vague and watches her reaction, waiting for a small expression change, but thankfully Abby just listens, and shows no pity, knowing that Andrew would hate it and does not comment.

When he’s done, she just nods and thanks him for telling her and when Andrew leaves, Abby lets the tears she had retained out.

She keeps the truth guarded with her life, glad Andrew trust her enough to say this.

Bee.

It is not a secret that Andrew sees Bee like his mother figure, out of all the woman in his life she was the only one that he didn’t feel the need to be unlike himself, she loved him just the way he was.

It was scary at first, his mind supplied that it would be just like Cass, he just had to wait for the other shoe to come down.

It never did.

So he found himself driving to her office when he needed to understand something or he was just not in a good mental place.

He would also call her when he didn’t have the energy to move.

She was on one of his sides during Aarons trial, helping him keep his cool when he felt like he needed to punch something.

When it had been his turn to say his testimony, he had looked at her and Neil, remembering that they would be with him and that they would show no pity to him.

So the day before Mother’s day, when him and Neil were shopping for clothes, and he saw a coffee mug in the shape of a bee hive that read “To the Bee-st mom” he had to buy it.

The next day he arrives to her office and leaves the cup before leaving without a word.

It fills Bee’s heart when she reads it but knows best than to comment of it on their next session.

But if she uses it everyday and it becomes her favorite mug, no one has to know.

Look at me posting three days in a row, I’m proud of myself ngl. Anyways, have this, hope you like it, I tried my best and this is honestly the longest “headcanon” I’ve ever written.

[oops-aquarius]

scars- billy hargrove

summary: y/n sees a scar on billy’s shoulder and learns a bit more about her boyfriend

warning(s):  smoking, fire, trauma, and abuse

word count: 1.1K

------

A cigarette hung lightly from his lips. The same lips she kissed, the same lips that made her feel like she was on cloud nine. His lips also kissed her with such passion and urgency, like if he didn’t kiss her she would disappear.

“Like whatcha’ see, baby?” To be honest, if she didn’t see his perfectly tanned washboard abs, she would think he was from upstate New York. 

“Of course, hun,” She was a sap when it came to Billy. Y/N couldn’t contain it, all she wanted to do is hug and kiss him all night long. He wormed his way into her heart with charm and niceties. And is filling it with love and passion and desire.

Billy grunted as he sat up, still sore from Neil’s fists colliding with his face, and threw his legs over the side of the bed, only his gray boxers covering his body. Billy looked so different when he was away from the girls pushing their boobs up to try to get his attention or the guys trying to be all buddy-buddy with him in hopes to get some chicks. His back is hunched over, bouncing his right knee, and biting at the skin around his nail. He’s being vulnerable.

He knew it would be impossible to hide it from her forever, but he wants to keep it under wraps for as long as possible. Even after 8 months of dating her, she never noticed it. He was always careful to never let anyone see it, always shoving himself deep into the blankets on the bed or wearing only a leather jacket at parties instead of being completely shirtless. Billy was ashamed of it.

The eucalyptus and lavender-scented candle burned on the desk of his California bedroom. The scent always reminded him of his mother. She must’ve used a lavender-scented shampoo because he vividly remembers the elegant scent that wafted off of her. Even after 5 years of her being gone, Billy can still remember what it felt like to hug her or her lips on his forehead every night when she tucked him in. He was always so embarrassed when she would kiss his forehead, feeling like since he was 10 he must be too old to be tucked in. 

He regrets that. Ever feeling embarrassed or upset when his mom would show him affection.  She was the only person in his life that ever truly loved him. And he lost her.  

His t-shirt was too big for his body, hanging off him loosely. It didn't bother him though, he was just spending the day deep-cleaning his room so his dad didn't have another excuse to beat him again. Although in the back of his mind, he knew Neil would always find another reason to hurt him.  

Spinning around on his heels, Billy bent down to pick up a lone sock on the floor before tossing it in the hamper. Billy continued picking up and tossing dirty clothes in his nearly full hamper.

At first, it was a stinging pang on his upper-mid back. It soon became a large burning sensation on his right shoulder and its blade.  He craned his neck to the side in attempts to see what was happening before seeing it. A blur of bright orange and yellow.

Billy was on fire.

He shook his head at the memory, maybe in attempts to have it fall from his brain. It kept him awake some nights, the memory of that shitty day always flooding back. Getting up from his spot on the bed, Billy clambered his way into Y/N’s bathroom, starting to run a hot bath for himself. 

Y/N follows him into the bathroom, softly closing the door behind he. The sweatpants hanging loose and low on her hips. Kneeling down in front of him, Y/N lifts up his chin, so he’s looking at her and not his feet.

“I love you, you know that right?” Her voice was quiet in order to make sure the tears threatening to spill over his eyes didn't see the light of day. Billy nodded, shifting his eyes away from her face and looking beside her.

“Then why aren’t you telling me what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

Y/N glared at him in annoyance. He can’t be serious right?

“Billy, I’m not an idiot. You’re ignoring me, on the verge of tears, and are just acting different. Baby, just tell me what’s going on and I promise to try and help you.” Her voice wavering in sadness. She hated seeing him like this, in some much pain, trying internalize it in hopes it will go away forever, while simultaneously making it worse in the process. All Billy did was bow his head again in shame. Shame of being weak. Shame of letting his trauma get the best of him. Shame of being vulnerable. Shame of letting someone in.

“My shoulder...”

“Oh,” Y/N sighs, “Baby, I don’t care about that you have a scar. You are still the same man I fell so madly in love with, with or without some stupid scar.” Sincerity was laced through ever word. He could tell, by the way he held his cheeks so gently, rubbing at the tender skin of his eye bags she wasn't lying. She didn't care if he had a stupid scar on his shoulder.

But it wasn't just about her. It was about how everyone else would view him if they ever found out about the story behind it. The story that ended up in local papers in LA, as he was photographed in the hospital not only disfigured from the fire, but black and blue from Neil’s iron fist.

Billy broke down as he recounted the whole story to her, almost letting the warm water of the bath overflow and spill out the tub. Y/N quickly shut the water off and stood up, offering a hand to Billy.

“Care to join me in this lovely bath?”

He sniffled, “You’re a dork, Y/N,”

Gently stepping down into the bath, she pressed herself against his bare chest. The warmth of the water enveloped them as Y/N turned around to face Billy. 

“I love you and all of your beautiful scars.” She caressed the shoulder, leaning over the press a light kiss to the skin, taking notice of how Billy flinched and tensed up at the contact.

“I love you too,” He breathed, smile creeping up onto his lips. “Oh, and Y/N?”

“Yes, love?”

“Thank you, for this.”

[thesmokingguns]

WENDY AND THE LOST BOYS CHAPTER 2

“Sasha. Yo, Sasha.” The sound of Tommy calling her name woke her up and she made a small sound trying to cover her ears by burying herself deeper in Tommy. There was a banging on the door to the room, “Yo Nikki, have you seen Sasha?” The door handle jiggled making her eyes snap open as she looked down at the person she was laying on. His green eyes were looking at her before he turned to look up at the door.

Nikki got out of the bed, pointing at Sasha to try and stay in the bed so he could get rid of the drummer. She was quiet but he could see this weird nervous energy coming off her. The past 24 hours had completely rocked his impression of the girl who didn’t give two shits about anything. He realized it was because for the first time she didn’t have Tommy as a bodyguard and she was feeling vulnerable. Nikki moved the wooden chair he had propped under the knob the night before knowing how Tommy liked to just walk into places without knocking and opened the door a crack.

“Sasha? I don’t know man. I got back here at 3am and there was that wild storm after it.” Nikki was filling the gap in the door not about to let him into the room. “Maybe she went grocery shopping or out with one of her friends?” Tommy shook his head.

“No, she wouldn’t do that today.” The drummer was pacing the hallway and Nikki could see Mick standing at the end of the hall. Even though the guitarist had in sunglasses Nikki knew that he was staring at him and he knew where Sasha was. “Fuck, I’m such an idiot. I should have left with you and that chick last night.” Nikki wanted to look over to where Sasha was standing on the bed but he didn’t want to give it away that she was inside the room.

“Let me throw pants on. Maybe she ran out of cigarettes. We can go look.” He watched Tommy nod before closing the door. Sasha had this strange look on her face as she reached for the cigarettes on Nikki’s dresser. “What’s going on today?” He asked, pulling on his jeans. She looked at him, those blue eyes wild as she just shook her head. Nikki threw up his hands grabbing his shirt and jacket. Sasha took a few steps across the room reaching him and touching his arm, making Nikki turn to look at her.

“Thank you for letting me sleep here last night. I don’t think I would have been able to sleep if you didn’t come home.” She admitted. She stood on her tiptoes as Nikki leaned down, brushing a kiss on his cheek. He wanted to bury his hands in her hair giving her a proper kiss. How did she smell so good living in this dump with them. His hand was around her waist and the way he was looking at her was trouble.

“Sixx, I’m heading out.” Tommy called, breaking them apart. He left the room and she listened at the door to make sure they were actually gone.

“You can come out of his room now.” She heard Mick call out. Sasha’s head came out of the room as she looked around. Mick shook his head at her.

“I didn’t have sex with him.” She let him know crossing over into the room she shared with Tommy. Sasha knew she had to get ready to go.

“Oh, I know you didn’t have sex with him.” Mick commented looking in the open door as she dug into the closet. “I can’t figure out why you haven’t slept with anyone yet but I kind of like that you’re driving them all crazy.” She gave him a smile shutting the door as he walked away.

Sasha knew she didn’t have much time to get ready. Tommy had every right to be frantic. They had to be at the courthouse at noon and it was already eleven. She carefully slid the thigh highs on, clipping them to a garter and moving to grab the strapless dress in the closet. She didn’t want to look in the mirror at herself, knowing that the scars would show. The cardigan on the bed was quickly thrown on and Sasha headed out. It had only taken her fifteen minutes to get ready; any longer Tommy might be back screaming.

She slid through the open window, frustrated about the nailed door. Being the party house had been so much fun but moments like this she was over it. She carefully headed down the concrete stairs, heels clicking and heart racing. She didn’t want to do this. Already her hands were shaking and stomach tight. Sasha fumbled for her cigarettes looking up as she heard her name. Tommy came rubbing across the street, hands smacking against the roof of a taxi that almost hit him.

“Of all days to go missing.” He said throwing his hands up at her. His mood softened when she glanced up under her king eyelashes, eyes looking like they would burst any second. “I shouldn’t have gone out last night. We should have stayed at my parents house.” She grabbed his hand weaving their fingers.

“Ah, Angel, you’ve landed back home. And looking very nice.” Nikki took in her appearance. What an upgrade from her usual keds and t-shirts. He had expected more of a reaction but she just did a smirk. “Are you two going on a date?” He teased, thinking it was too early. Tommy looked at her as if asking her if he was okay to talk.

“We have to go to court. We’ll see you later, Sixx.” A yellow cab had pulled up and she moved inside grabbing sunglasses and pushing them on to cover the tears already filling her eyes

*Flashback*

“Get over here, you little bitch.” The sound of bottles smashing just propelled Sasha to the door. She had gotten out of her boyfriend's bedroom and could see the exit of the apartment.

Neil had been pissed off after the show. His singing was off and instead of just admitting he didn’t have a career in music he took his anger out on her. He was going on about how she didn’t respect him because had seen her flirting with the bartender. She had been ordering him a beer.

“Nooo.” She screamed feeling her hair yanked back, sending her flying onto her back on the living room floor. He was going to kill her. If she was sure of anything it was that Neil had lost his mind completely and was going to kill her.

Tommy was drumming on the dashboard as his mom drove him back from the show they had tonight. He had to go  to church with her in the morning but he was planning to stop by Neil’s house to grab some of the stuff he had lying around. His mom had agreed to wash his clothes this weekend and pick him up from the show so it was a pretty big win for the seventeen year old. Plus his mother was the best cook in the world and even though Tommy would never admit it he loved being in the kitchen talking to his mother and watching the Greek VHS tapes of the soap operas his mother loved.

“I’ll just be two minutes.” Tommy promised, watching his mother undo her seatbelt. She gave him a look and he knew that she was coming long with him. His mother wasn’t a fool and knew her son got into a lot of mischief but she always felt better meeting the people who he surrounded himself with. That way she knew if something happened who she would have to kill for letting her only son get hurt. As they headed into the apartment the sound of shattering glass and a scream filled the air. His mother gave him a look, wondering what sort of trouble he had managed to attract this time. He didn’t bother knocking, just through open the door ready to greet his singer. What he saw instead was Sasha on the floor, face down, bleeding into the carpet with Neil sitting on top of her, a broken beer bottle glistening with blood, circle patterns over her left shoulder.

“Tommy, get him off her. I’m calling the police.” his mother pushed her son to the man wielding a weapon as she picked up the touch tone phone to dial 9-1-1. She extranded the cord as far as it would go as she sat on the carpet next to the girl who was fading in and out of consciousness. Tommy had tackled Neil, his mother watching to make sure her skinny son was okay. “I need an ambulance as soon as possible as well as police. A woman was attacked.” she gave them the address carefully pushing aside Sasha’s hair to check on the girl. She saw her blue eyes, she was fighting to stay awake, the loss of blood weakening her.

“Thank you.” she whispered a hand that had been digging into the carpet reached out taking Tommy’s mothers hand in her own. She held this girl wondering if she was going to die on the carpet in her lap. Her eyes shifted between the blonde and Tommy who was sitting on his singer who seemed to be coming down from whatever manic episode he was on and realizing there was blood covering his apartment. She was realizing that the blonde wasn’t as old as she had expected and was probably around the same age as her daughter making her more upset. She only knew that they saved that girls life that night.

*End Flashback*

“I’m scared, Tommy.” Sasha whispered as they sat on the bench outside of the courtroom. She would be called to the stand and he wanted to sit with her instead of inside with his parents. He was feeling guilty about not being there with her last night ahead of what would be a hard day for her. Having to relive what happened with Neil and let people hear details she wasn’t ready to even admit having happened was something Tommy knew she was struggling with. He squeezed her hand letting her rest on his shoulder, “The band is going to all look at me differently. I’m going to need to move out. I can’t believe I let this happen.” She felt like she was going to have a panic attack.

“Sasha Kavorky .” She looked up hearing her name. Tommy was already standing up helping her to her feet. His arms wrapped around her body in a tight hug before watching her walk into the courtroom.

She didn’t meet the eyes of anyone until after she was sworn in and the questioning began. She had gone over her testimony before and knew that there were going to be issues with how people saw her. She went over her background with Neil leading up to the big event so everyone would know their story and it was going to be out there for the jury to make their decision on. Sasha looked at Tommy in the crowd, sitting next to his mother and was thankful at least there was one good thing that happened from meeting Neil.

Sasha had been a young kid when she had met Neil. He had come into the thrift store she was working at looking around as if he was trying to be a superstar on a budget. But he was nice to her and didn't treat her like she was the fifteen year old kid she actually was.  That was the first sign that he was trouble but she hadn't realized that it was creepy for a twenty year old to hit on a child. He had started grooming her after a few weeks of making small talk at the shop. She went to see his band play and loved the way Neil threw his arm around her handing her beers well girls looked on jealous. It was also cool that Tommy, who was a Junior in high school started talking to her even though she was just a Sophomore. She probably got along better with Tommy because he was closer to her age and just a kid in High School like herself. He drove this gross van that always had a weird smell because he banged chicks back there but he’d drive her over to Neil’s after school because that’s where band practice was. When he became  Senior and she was a Junior that’s when things started to get bad.

It had been like overnight Sasha went from a good looking girl to a total knockout smokeshow. She filled in and started to get more attention as she got older. After Tommy graduated and she was 17 they were all at his graduation party in the backyard of his parents house. Neil had gotten so mad at the fact that some guy asked her to dance and a fight had almost broken out. Sasha had been able to cool everyone down but that night he had hit her for the first time. When the guys were at the show the next day Tommy had asked her about her shiner and Sasha had to laugh it off saying she had drank too many beers at the party and fell. If she had known that this was just the first brick in a wall of lies she didn’t know if she’d have told it. With Tommy out of school Neil started to get really paranoid about Sasha’s senior year. Even though she had moved in with him years ago he still was worried about her. He had started spending her shifts working watching her, coming in and checking up on her, and never leaving her alone. If she laughed at a joke a customer said she knew he’d beat her for it later. It was a double standard however. When they played shows Neil would grab girls feeling them up and acting like Sasha didn’t exist.

Tommy pulled her aside when she was looking for Neil before the show. She had been holding the beers that she was supposed to get for him and was afraid she’d be in trouble if he didn't get it well it was still cold. Tommy had told her that he had met the bassist for London and he was going to start a new band with him. The way that he had told her this before telling his band made Sasha realize that people were starting to see what Neil was doing to her. Tommy told her to call him because maybe she’d come to practices and see if they were any good. He was trying to do anything to get her away from Neil at that point. She had only nodded moving to the dressing room to give the lead singer the beer.

“Can you show us where he stabbed you?” the lawyer asked, knowing that seeing the scars would be better for the jury than the photographs they had of her shoulder. She knew this was coming from the mock interrogations that she had sat through. Sasha nodded, biting her lip and shrugging out of the cardigan. When she turned in the seat you could see the mangled circle patterns on her shoulder, three wounds all over lapping. The last one had stabbed the bottle so deep into her she had thought it had gone clear through. She didn’t turn to look at the jury when she heard the murmuring as she showed them the display but the first time she looked at Neil, her stomach twisting as she saw the way a smirk was on the edges of his lips as he tried to get a look at his handy work. She searched the crowd finding Tommy looking at her, his eyes not leaving her face as she shrugged her cardigan back on.

Tommy and his family were her family now. Not just like her family but his parents had officially adopted her after everything that had happened. When she had gone into the hospital his mother or Tommy were by her side until they released her. She had gone home to the Lee household and was given the guest room and told that it was her room now and she could decorate it how she pleased. His mother took her shopping with his sister and drove her to school. She loved her like a daughter and never ever made her feel like she was anything less than her own child. And Tommy was her best friend, her brother, and the only person in the world she felt like she could tell anything to. It was nice he put her on a pedestal because they both never thought of sleeping with the other person but there was a comfort between them of security they hadn’t found with anyone else in their lives.

When he went to Nikki’s house to jam he would bring her along, as long as she wasn’t in school. His parents made sure she had a semi normal existence after everything. When they had met Mick for the first time she had been leaning over the railing of the apartment smoking one of Nikki’s cigarettes and telling them to help him carry his stuff up. She had been the one to know about the party that Vince was playing because she had just graduated  and knew where all the parties were. It had only been six months since  she had almost been killed by the psycho but she had found her place.

The jury was told to go deliberate and they were allowed to leave until a decision was made. Since their court time was later in the day there was a fear they wouldn’t hear back by the end of the day. It was something they were kind of expecting. Sasha was sitting between Tommy and his mother, drinking the cup of warm coffee when a lawyer came out, his face sweating. They all looked up at him, hearts beating, knowing they’d know what was going to happen soon. When the guilty verdict was read she didn’t clap or cheer but sat there, a wave of relief washing over her because it meant that she was safe.

“Are you okay?” Tommy’s mother asked holding her in her arms as they sat around people who were getting up to leave. Sasha could only nod her head, she felt the tears coming from the relief she felt. Her hands digging into her purse as she pulled out a pair of sunglasses and slid them over her eyes, “Do you two want to come home or are you going to get proper wasted?” Tommy rolled his eyes at his mothers attempt to use cool lingo but she had gotten the smile she had wanted out of Sasha.

“I’m sure the guys are a little confused but they’d be down to go out and party.” she turned back to his mother, “But we’re still on for Sunday dinner.” she promised kissing the woman's cheek.

Sasha went into the window first looking around to see Mick laying back in a chair, fiddling with his guitar, Nikki had papers spread out and was rapidly talking to Vince at the coffee table. The looked up at the pair entering.

“Tommy, we’ve written a new song. Come over here for a second and play it.” Nikki demanded. The drummer nodded moving past him to grab a beer in the fridge. He tossed one to Sasha and the pair of them both seemed to have the same idea. They started shut gunning the beers, laughing as the empty cans hit the floor, “Can you two grow up?” NIkki said, surprised when Sasha flipped him off before heading into the room she shared with Tommy.

“Why did you two have to go to court? Did you end some weird secret marriage?” Vince asked as Tommy got situated behind his drums. The drummer glanced to the door of the room wondering if he should tell them now that it was over.

“I met Sasha through the lead singer of my old band. She started dating him when she was a kid and he treated her really badly.” Tommy told them. The guys all wanted more information but Sasha was coming out of the room. She had on her usual denim shorts that were cut too high in the back and she was wearing the London shirt again. She looked at Nikki giving him a smirk when he saw what she was wearing.

“Did you see London got a new bassist? They’re playing at The Rainbow tonight.” She teased plopping down on the couch across from where they were set up.

“You’re going to wear the band's shirt to their show? Seems kind of lame.” Nikki muttered. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Oh, fashion advice from the guy who’s wearing his own band shirt right now.” Mick covered anything Nikki could say by starting the guitar chords to their new song. She smiled getting the last word in and watching the guys start tweaking the song around. When it started to get dark they all were antsy for a drink.

Despite Nikki’s protests they had ended up at The Rainbow. The only good thing was she had changed out of the band shirt and was wearing this one shoulder leopard dress that seemed to cling and hang off every part of her body. She even wore high heels instead of her usual scuffed keds. When she had come out of the room Tommy had given the boys all a look that was clear to stay away from her. Which was fine but well they all drank and listened to the band Nikki watched Sasha hammering back shots.

“She’s shattered.” Mick commented from where he was sitting next to Nikki. “Are you going to go save her?” He looked up to see her leaning against what looked like the leader singer of London. As if she realized he was staring she made eye contact with him through the crowd. He had no idea how she was able to take his breath away with a single look but it was like her blue eyes stopped time. She had stepped away from the singer and moved through the crowd seeming not to bump into anyone.

“Hey, are you guys with the band?” She teased leaning close to them. Mick gave her a small look and she leaned over whispering something in his ear before pointing to a group of girls. The guitarist gave her a look before heading over to see what she was talking about. Sasha took up his space sighing in relief, “I wanted to look nice to celebrate today and just feel free. You didn’t even say if I looked nice.” She said her head rolling to look over at him.

“Fishing for compliments?” The bassist asked, licking his lips. She looked absolutely gorgeous. She was always gorgeous but he didn’t realize she could be this stunning.

“Is it really fishing when I look like this?” She asked him leaning forward to take his Jack and coke, sipping it as she leaned back into the seat. She was teasing him, knowing that he couldn’t do anything about it because she was like Tommy’s kid sister. He watched her out a leg up on the table, her dress sliding up her thigh and skin glistening in the lights. She let her head roll looking at him with these blue starry eyes. “I am very drunk and lonely.” She told him.

“You’re only 18. You’re not allowed to be lonely.” He teased her before pushing her leg off the table before he was tempted to run his hands up it. “And if you’re so drunk don’t drink other people’s drinks.” He leaned close wanting to grab his drink from her hands but she just leaned into him.

“You’re only 23 and someone could drown in the loneliness in your eyes.” Nikki stopped at her words and she looked around slyly. “Why don’t you take me home, Sixx? Or are you spending the night with someone else?” Sasha had got her hand around his neck, her nails scratching his head well she shifted almost onto his lap.

“Tommy would kill us.” He told her through gritted teeth. There was nothing he wanted more than to take her home. “Why don’t I just walk you back?” He asked, watching the way she pouted. God, the fullness of her lips were accented in the bratty face she was making. Lips like pillows on girls that looked like her were a recipe for disaster.

He managed to get her outside of the club, steering her in the direction of their apartment. The warmth of summer seeming to sink into their bones. Sasha was smoking his cigarettes, making Nikki wonder if she ever bought her own. She didn’t seem as drunk now that they were in the fresh air. She was steady besides him, holding his arm when they would cross a street and seeming to be lost in thought.

“Are you going to miss me, Nikki?” She asked as they climbed through the window. It was weird to be alone in the apartment, knowing everyone was out partying.

“Miss you? When the band goes on tour?” He joked watching her as she stood in the doorway to Tommy’s room. She shook her head.

“I’m going to college. I start at UCLA in less than a month. I’ll be living in the dorms there so I’ll be out of your hair.” Why did that information catch him so off guard. She licked her lips, “I guess I should practice sleeping alone. Have fun with the guys.” She shut the door to Tommy’s room locking the door with a soft click before he could react.

Nikki’s head spun as he walked back to the Rainbow. Why was he upset that she was going to be leaving? He wouldn’t have to buy cigarettes as much, that was for sure. But there also wouldn’t be the sound of her laughing as she drank her coffee on the counter tops in the morning. She wouldn’t be there when they practiced, watching him with those big blue eyes. The smell of her wouldn’t be in the shower. These little things that had felt so good without standing out this summer played over and over in his mind. What he couldn’t really understand was when he had started to like having her around.

[sh1tbird-shantytown]

sequel to the billy and erica thing here because someone (i believe @catharrington ?) asked for it. thanks by the way. just tagging you so you know i actually did it. enjoy :)

===

Billy disposed of the rats quickly by stomping on them with ruthless demeanor. He didn’t have time for a few measly rodents when Steve Harrington was stuck in some room with an even more messed up version of Neil Hargrove. To say he wasn’t before would be a red hot lie.

So he carefully traveled over to the doorway silently. He saw Steve’s back, blue uniform wrinkled from the humidity and constant moving. He saw his father’s shadow on the floor while the rest of him was covered by Steve’s lean frame. Have Steve’s legs always been that long?

“William?” his father’s voice hummed out, menacing as ever. That sure snapped him out of whatever stupor he had almost fallen in. “No wait, they call you Billy, correct? You are his son. My host’s?”

Steve took a step back, “El got rid of you, she closed the gate. How are you back?” Billy decided that maybe the voice coming from Neil wasn’t really Neil at all then. No matter how insane that seemed logically. Although, nothing was normal in this situation.

“You are mortal,” it responded with amusement beneath it’s tone, “I wouldn’t expect you to understand half of what I am capable of.”

Steve scoffed and stepped back a few more times, “Okay, no need to insult me. Jesus,” he watched as Steve put his hands on his hips.

Billy tilted his head and furrowed his brow, “The hell are you doing, Pretty Boy?” he muttered under his breath.

“Shut up,” Neil snapped, “Sit down and wait, the other boy will come and get you.”

Steve gave a little more than a helpless laugh, “No he’s not.”

Neil became perplexed, “And why not? You came together, you are a team.”

Steve shook his head, hair swaying, “Sure, man.” And then, all of a sudden, Steve was sprinting towards Billy and panic set into both of their expressions as they made eye contact. “Shit,” Steve hissed as he grabbed Billy’s bicep and dragged him along. “What are you still doing here, Hargrove?” he grumbled. They ran and Steve grabbed his hand to pull him along to speed. They were both fast but Steve had just slightly longer legs on his side. Billy absorbed the warmth around his palm as Steve grasped onto it desperately. “Keep up, keep up,” he muttered hurriedly and then shoved Billy towards the hole where the last remains of sunlight peaked through.

Billy barely managed to keep on his toes as he stumbled out. Steve followed him out immediately and started tugging on him again, once again taking his hand and silently signaling to the wide eyed others to move. Erica looked relived as she surveyed them and she soon took the lead back to Harrington’s car parked just a little ways away on the side of the road.

“Where the hell did you two end up?” Dustin screamed a bit nasally. Steve dug out the car keys from his uniform pocket and unlocked the car with a beep. He threw them at Robin.

“You drive,” he ordered and Robin didn’t refuse as she fumbled to find the correct key just as Steve flung open the trunk and started searching around. He removed a wooden bat decorated with nails a moment later.

“Woah!” Erica and Billy stepped back together, wide eyes meeting and then flashing back to Steve.

“Get in the car,” Steve pointed the bat to the backseat and then looked fleetingly back at the warehouse. Billy pushed Erica along just as Steve did the same to Dustin, and closed them in the car just as Steve himself dragged Billy along and opened the last door for him. Billy fumbled into the seat and Steve closed the door. He leaned in through the window of the front passenger seat, “Go to my house and lock all the doors, I’ll knock six times when I get there.” Steve didn’t actually sound that sure of himself. Which was just about as concerning as things could get.

Billy grabbed the handkerchief just as Erica had done back at Scoops, “You’re not leaving us now, Harrington.” They were nose to nose and Billy was caught completely off guard when Steve leaned forward and kissed him. Right on the lips, long enough for Billy to stupidly loosen his grip. Steve leaned back, gave one more confident peck, and was suddenly gone. Leaving Billy pink.

“I got this guys, go on,” he waved at Robin. She hesitated but she listened to him, shock and panic working together to follow the order. Billy moved the gear stick back to park.

“Fuck no!” he growled, “Get in the damn vehicle, Harrington! You don’t get to just do that and run off into a death sentence!”

“Then go fight with him, man!” Dustin screeched. Billy looked at him and took in the drowning worry and acceptance in the boy’s eyes. The familiarity present in the atmosphere made Billy stop a moment.

“You know what’s wrong with him,” he looked over at Steve who simply nodded as he kept watch over the outer building. “And you’re going to take him down with a bat?”

Steve finally looked at him, brown eyes sunken, “I’m going to lead him to the tunnels and then blow it up again.”

Dustin shot forward and Erica yelped, “You are not!” Steve smiled something melancholy before he ran off. Robin shifted the gear again and started to floor it.

Billy opened the door even as the car kept moving, “You stop or I jump!” Robin kept driving with her face stern, relentless. Billy slammed the door back shut furiously before the door hit a tree. He yelled out and punched the dashboard, “What are you doing? He’s going to die if we don’t do something!”

Robin stayed calm, “We’re going to his house and then we,” she looked at Billy and pointed to the two of them, “Are going to go help him.”

Billy leaned back a bit defeatedly, “Did he actually kiss me?”

Erica nodded diagonal to him, “Yup.”

“He kissed me twice?”

“Yup.”

“That bastard,” Billy’s lips quirked up just a smidge.

“Yup,” Erica’s voice became sullener.

“He’s not going to die, right?” Dustin sounded desperate to grasp onto an answer.

“N—” Robin began.

“Because my mom asked him to join us for dinner on Friday and if he doesn’t show up I’m going to have to tell her—“

“Dustin!” Billy closed his eyes and clenched his fists, “How about we just focus on getting back to him first. Okay?”

Dustin stared out his window, “I don’t want to lose him.”

Erica watched him from her spot, eyes gentle, “He’ll be a hero after this.”

Robin gripped the steering wheel and Billy eyed her cautiously, “We are getting him out of there. He’s not dying!” It was eerily silent as she turned into the drive way. But they were all out as soon as the car was parked.

“I’ll get his fireworks stash!” Dustin said and ran out back with Erica right on his trail.

Robin went to the front door with the keys, “I’ll get some alcohol and towels, we can start a better fire with them.”

Billy held his arms out, “What about me?” he yelled.

Robin stood in the doorway, “Get the axe in the trunk!”

Billy turned back to Steve’s bimmer, “He has a damn axe too?”

[yikesharringrove]

Oooh spin the usual narrative around and maybe Steve got some really cool tattoos on his back after high school and Billy is just being all sweet on him later and notices them and LOVES them and is all like "ride me and show me" and won't let Steve finish until he describes all his tatts on his back

Smut

-

Billy hadn’t been in Hawkins, Indiana for about three years.

He had fled pretty much as soon as he got that diploma, had packed up his car the night before, tossed his stupid cap and gown in the trunk, and just fucking left.

But here he was, ready to watch Max and the rest of her brats graduate.

He was standing, feeling weird in his best shirt, sweating under the Hawkins sun.

And there was Steve Harrington. Of course he would come for his kids, was probably gonna tear up as they made their way across the stage. He could see Steve’s big hair sitting close to the front, with Henderson’s mom, looking just the same.

He spent the entire ceremony glaring holes in the back of Steve’s head, only looked up when Maxine Elizabeth Mayfield stomped across the stage, rolling her eyes as Susan and Neil made a big to-do somewhere in the crowd.

Then went right back to staring at Harrington.

He looked good.

Like, still looked as hot as he did in high school, but he looked,

he looked like a man.

He had shot stubble along his jaw, and he looked a little more filled out.

He was waiting for Max, standing with her mother off to the side when Steve turned, and noticed Billy.

His eyes went wide, and he began making his way over.

“Jesus, Hargrove. Long time no see.” He pulled Billy into a hug, a tight, sweet good-smelling hug. “You look good, man.” He smiled brightly at Billy.

“Yeah, Harrington. You too.” And he did.

“Hey, uh, all the kids are having a little shindig at The Byers’, I’d love to catch up with you.” He rubbed down Billy’s arm, made him so much fucking hotter than the bright sun.

-

The kids’ party was a nice barbecue in the Byers’ backyard.

They were all running around, getting in food fights and being stupid idiots.

Billy can respect that, the last summer before leaving all your friends.

Billy didn’t really have friends to leave, though. Just kinda, left, one day.

He kept his eyes on Steve the whole time, watched the way he smiled and laughed with the kids, the way his eyes kept flicking back to Billy.

The sun was beginning to set when Steve came over to the stairs Billy was perched on, two beers in hand.

He gave Billy one, settling right next to him.

“So, what have you been up to? Been, what three years?” Billy had left the day he graduated, hopped in his car and didn’t stop ‘till he saw the ocean.

“Moved back home. I’m working at a garage, now.” Steve gave him another nice smile. “Saving up to maybe go to school, or get a house or something.” He shrugged, taking a swig of his beer. “What about you? Got a girlfriend?”

“Ha! No. Not really, dating right now.” A slow grin spread over Billy’s face.

“Just fuckin’?” Steve’s cheeks went red, but he didn’t deny anything. “Yeah, me too, Harrington.”

Steve laughed, pushing at his rolled up shirt sleeve.

It was just under his elbow, and Billy zeroes in on dark black ink winding down to an elegant curl on the side of his elbow.

“Any good stories?” Billy licked over his teeth.

He had stopped pretending in California, didn’t really want to here either.

“Well, I mean, there was this one guy, just absolute maniac. He had this thing about getting caught, so we’d go out to shitty bars, see how long it took before we got kicked out. We got away with a lot at most of ‘em, though.”

He watched Steve carefully, didn’t even see a twitch.

And then,

“Oh, I was kinda seeing a guy like that.” Billy’s brain shorted out. “There’s a gay bar down the block from my place in Chicago, and he’d take me out on the dance floor, and this one night, we just about fucked before someone noticed what we were doin’. It was kinda fun.”

Billy’s mind was racing, pictured pulling Steve onto a crowded dance floor, pushing his hands down his pants, fingering him, letting him rut against his thigh until he cums in his pants.

“So you, you’re gay?”

“Bi, actually. Figured that one out right away after movin’.”

“Yeah? Let your queer little flag fly?”

“It’s been fun.” Steve shrugged. Billy licked his lips, had an idea.

“Y’know, you coulda been havin’ fun way before you moved.” He leaned into Steve’s space, looking at him through his lashes.

Steve’s cheeks went red.

“It’s not too late, is it?” Billy stood up, tugging his keys out of his jeans pocket.

“I got a shitty motel room bed with your name on it, Pretty Boy.” Steve scrambled behind him, tossing himself into the passenger seat of his car.

He grinned at Billy.

-

Billy drove like a bat outta Hell, getting Steve to his motel room as fast as possible.

He led him inside, slamming Steve against the door the minute they got in.

He kissed Steve roughly, licking inside his mouth.

Steve moaned into his mouth, fumbling with the buttons on Billy’s shirt.

Billy pulled him, shoving him onto the bed, taking Steve’s shirt off in turn.

And there was the ink.

It curled down both of Steve’s arms, leading from his back.

“Holy shit.” Billy traced on of the curling tendrils. “Never begged you for a tattoo type.” Steve shrugged, his eyes flicking down to trail over Billy’s body.

“I like it.”

“Can I see?” Steve pushed on him gently, but then he got an idea. “Wait,” he grinned at Steve. “Ride me and let me see them.” Steve smiled devilishly back up at him.

He pushed Billy, swapped their positions.

He was straddling his waist, could feel how hard Billy was underneath him.

“Only if you get me all ready.”

Billy undid Steve’s belt, tearing his khakis open.

Steve sat up, awkwardly wiggling out of them to sit back down, completely naked on Billy’s lap. He took Billy’s hand, kept direct eye contact as he sucked on Billy’s fingers.

He was like a fucking pornstar, his eyes going all dark and sultry as he licked over Billy’s fingers, sucked them into his mouth.

“Jesus, Stevie. You’re so fuckin’ hot.” Steve smirked at him, pulling his fingers out of his mouth with a pop, guiding Billy’s hand around his hips, leaning forward over Billy.

“Go ahead.” Billy jostled him a little closer, rubbing his spit slick fingers over his hole.

He pushed one inside.

Steve’s eyes fluttered closed, and he moaned, so loud and pretty.

“God, wished we had done this years ago.” Billy was now pumping his finger in and out of Steve.

“I was pretty repressed back then. Don’t know if I would’ve done this.” Billy eased in another finger. Steve took him so well.

“Then, glad I got here just in time.”

“Welcome to my slutty phase.” He grinned at Billy, grinding his hips back and forth on his fingers.

Billy spread his fingers, scissoring them open and closed, getting him open. Steve squirmed a little.

“Just like,” he took Billy’s wrist, shoving his fingers in deeper. Billy curled his fingers. “Oh, yeah.” He started tossing his ass back, fucking himself on Billy’s fingers. “Fuck.”

He collapsed forward, burying his face in Billy’s neck.

Billy tried to get a look at the dark ink covering him from neck to upper ass cheek.

“I’m I’m ready.” Steve bat Billy’s hand away, turning around.

He lined up Billy’s cock, sinking down on it.

Billy’s eyes fluttered closed.

“Jesus Christ,” Billy groaned. Steve felt like Heaven.

He looked over his shoulder, tossing him a wry smile. Billy clung to his hips.

“Like what you see?”

The tattoo was beautiful.

It was an intricate monster, tall and skeletal, a face like a flower, opened up with rows and rows of horrible teeth. There appeared to be black smoke coming from behind the monster, delicate furls of something, maybe vines? They climber up Steve’s shoulders, wrapped around his arms.

It shouldn’t have been sexy, staring at this thing while Steve bounced on his cock, but it was Steve bouncing on his cock, tossing his head back and moaning.

“What do you think?”

“I think, you don’t get to cum until I tell you all my thoughts on this art.” Steve moaned loudly. “This fuckin’, fuckin’ monster. Black ink looks real pretty on you, Baby.”

Steve turned again to look over his shoulder.

“Tell me about it.”

“I mean, I shouldn’t be turned on, lookin’ at this thing. It’s like, it’s like it’s screaming at me.” Steve shuddered. Billy didn’t know if it was a good shudder or a bad one. “I can, I can see the saliva in it’s mouth.”

And then Steve stopped, panting heavily.

He pulled off of Billy, turning to face him again.

“Sorry, that’s just, you know, not the best dirty talk material.” Billy grinned at him.

In one swift motion he rolled on top of Steve, slamming his way back inside of him.

“You want good material? You want me to tell you about how often I jerked off to you in high school? Pictured how pretty your lips would look around my cock? Thought about how tight your little hole would be?”

That was apparently the stuff.

Steve’s eyes were wide, his hair wild on the pillow behind him. He was panting shallowly, just accepting what Billy was giving him.

“Thought about taking you all kindsa ways. Thought about bendin’ you over in the showers after P.E. and just fucking you right there, in front of everyone.”

Steve’s back arched beautifully, and his thighs trembled against Billy’s sides as he came, thick white spunk sticking their stomachs together.

“Yeah? That get you going? The idea of people watching, of being made my bitch?”

“Jesus, Billy, I already finished.” His cock gave a flimsy little kick as if proving his point.

“Yeah, now I’m getting myself off.” Steve laughed at him, shifting his hips to let Billy drive in deeper.

“That what get you there? Pining me down? Making me your bitch?” Billy moved a little faster, a little rougher. “Now’s your chance, Tiger. Gimme your cum, ruin me.”

Billy bit down on Steve’s neck, made him yelp as he bucked his hips, cumming inside of him.

He breathed for a minute, rolling off of Steve.

Steve stretched like a cat, wincing slightly.

“Lemme see your art again. Was a little distracted with the sight of my dick in your ass.” Steve laughed, rolling over onto his stomach.

Billy traced the monster’s mouth with light fingers.

“It’s cool.”

“Will Byers drew it. Kind of reminds me to, you know, put the past behind me. I know it’s cheesy but,” he shrugged, trailing off.

“Sometimes cheesy works.” Steve’s cheek was smushed against the pillow as he studied Billy.

“What’s it like being back in Hawkins? Must be weird coming back after being gone.”

“Nah. Nothing’s really changed. Weirder coming in blind that first time.” He traced one of the black vines. “I thought you were in Chicago?”

“I am. Only moved out there about six months ago. Didn’t get into college or anything, so I’ve been working shitty jobs, saving up some money. Thinking about running away some more. Get further away.”

“You’re always welcome in California. I got a pull out couch.” He licked over his teeth. “Or you could share my bed.”

“Are you asking me to give you sex in exchange for a place to stay?”

“You did say you’re in your slutty phase.” Steve laughed, burying his face in the pillow.

“We’ll see if I get desperate enough to get outta here to take you up on that offer.”

“You could drive back with me. Stay for awhile, fly back. See if you like it.”

High school Billy would be creaming in his pants right about now, asking Steve Harrington to run away to California with him.

Steve looked at him, his face unreadable.

“I could go for a little adventure.”

[v-vvia]

some kevaaron for you hungry sluts

Aaron Minyard was going to become a doctor. There were no exceptions, deviations-this was a fact. He grew up what could possibly be considered Hell on Earth, and he wanted to live a normal life. Of course, as soon as he scribbled his messy signature onto David Wymack’s contact that basically sold his soul to the exy coach for five years, he should have known his life would be anything but normal. Aaron should have known when he was adopted by his very much homosexual cousin and reunited with his psycotic twin brother that his life would never be normal. 

Kevin Day was going to be a professional exy star. He really had no other option, thanks to the Japanese yakuza. His life wasn’t normal and he knew it was never going to be normal. After leaving The Nest, Kevin had to learn how to be a member of society. He didn’t know how to make friends or be his own person. He didn’t know how to live. Being introduced to the Foxes was a big adjustment, but they accepted him and his crankiness. They were more of a family than he could ever ask for in life. 

Aaron, after moving out of the monster’s dorm, would find his way back to the hell pit every so often. Living with Matt meant an endless supply of coffee to fuel his long nights of studying. Yet, there was something missing. Maybe it was Andrew’s cold stare as he drank milk straight from the carton. Maybe it was Nicky’s late night video chats with Erik, keeping them all up with his loud voice. Most of all, maybe it was Kevin’s constant need to be warm. 

Aaron swore that dorm room was set at seventy-five degrees, even in the sweltering summer heat. He hated it after a long and hot practice but, now that Matt kept the windows open in the winter, he missed it. 

Which is how he, at quarter to one in the morning on December 13th, found himself carrying his bag full of textbooks and a blanket pulled from his bed into the monster’s dorm. Andrew and Neil weren’t anywhere to be found but, Nicky and Kevin sat in the beanbag chairs in front of the TV. Nicky was losing his patience trying to teach Kevin how to play some video game. Kevin looked like he was about to burst a vein in his forehead. They both turned when the door opened. 

“Well, if it isn’t my long lost son,” Nicky said happily with a grin. 

“Not your son,” Aaron replied, used to this. “I don’t think you could produce a child this good looking.” 

“Ouch! Savagely burned by my own flesh and blood!” Nicky dramatically placed a hand to his heart. He fell back against the beanbag. “After all I’ve done for you! I’ve washed your underwear and cum socks and this is the repayment I get? You’re lucky I don’t ground you, mister!”

“Do you know how to shut that mouth of yours?” Aaron practically collapsed onto the couch behind the two, letting out a sigh as he dropped his heavy bag. 

“Do you know how to ever take a break?” Nicky retorted, looking back at the cousin with only a face that could be described as a motherly Latino ‘you did not just sass me, child’ face. “Seriously, dude. You’re up until ungodly hours of the night and then you get up at 6 to make it to morning practice. And aren’t you taking like, 18 credits? You sir,” Nicky pointed a finger. “are either a madman or stupid. Probably both if you’re my child.” 

“You’re not a medicine major, Nicky. I’ve gotta work twice as hard as everyone else,” Aaron mumbled, shrugging. “Besides, why do you think I came here? Since when have I ever done any work in the presence of your loud mouth?” 

“Good point. Want in on next round?” the cousin asked, offering him the third controller. Aaron shook his head. He let himself lean back into the couch and actually rest. 

“I just came here to cool off for a few before I head to the library,” he said, pushing the controller away with his foot. His Addias joggers and his high top Chuck Taylors didn’t really go together but he wasn’t known to be the most fashionable. If it was comfortable and he could hide snacks in the pockets, he was sold. 

“Suit yourself,” Nicky replied, turning back around. “Another round, Kev?” Kevin lifted his hand and checked the time on his watch. 

“I placed some books on hold at the library earlier and they should be ready. I should go pick them up before I get carried away,” Kevin said, stretching his long limbs. His Foxes shirt lifted a little with the action; the small glimpse of bare skin caught Aaron’s eye. He couldn’t help but stare, not noticing that the man had said something to him. 

“Earth to Aaron,” Nicky said, waving his hand in front of his face. “C’mon, I know Kevin’s insufferable sometimes but you gotta respect your elders.” 

“Fuck you,” Aaron said before turning to Kevin. “What did you say?”

“I said we should go to the library together.” Kevin stood, walking over to his desk to grab his bookbag and dorm keys. “I know you’re practically flunking American history and we can’t have you being benched because you’re an idiot.” 

“Okay, fuck you too,” Aaron said. His words had no weight because he stood with his bag. “Hurry up before I change my mind.” The two walked towards the door, saying a quick farewell to Nicky on their way out. Aaron was sure Nicky would be grateful to have a quiet dorm for a while, so he could call Erik. “I need to get my history stuff from my room if we’re doing this.” Kevin nodded and followed the shorter man to the other end of the hall. Aaron unlocked the door, knocking once in case Matt and Dan were practicing for their honeymoon. Stepping inside, he found that it was empty and dark. Matt had left the windows open, yet again, sending a shiver down Aaron’s spine. 

“Its cold in here,” Kevin said, blank faced. 

“Yeah, no shit dumbass.” Aaron walked over to his desk, flipping on a light along the way. The living area was decorated with a couch and television-both of which were Matt’s. Aaron didn’t care much to decorate. The only thing he needed and had was a picture of him, Nicky, and Andrew pinned on his desk. It was from his and Andrew’s high school graduation and he swore he could almost see a glimpse of genuine happiness in Andrew’s eyes. 

“Can I ask a question?” Kevin said, poking around the room. 

“You’re gonna ask anyways so get on with it.” 

“Am I really that insufferable?” Something in Kevin’s voice made Aaron turn. He frowned once he saw Kevin’s usually cool demeanor turn unexpectedly serious. Kevin didn’t care what anyone thought about him. He only cared about exy. Why was this even a conversation the two were having?

“I mean,” Aaron started, not really sure how to approach this. “you’re annoying but I wouldn’t call you insufferable. What’s with you, man?” 

Kevin stood silent for a moment. “Sometimes I hear Nicky telling Erik how mean I am.” Another moment of silence passed. “I don’t want to be like him, Aaron.” 

Something inside Aaron’s stomach churned. Kevin didn’t have to say a name for him to know he was talking about his former teammate, Riko Moriyama. It had never occured to Aaron that Kevin had feelings about things over that exy. That was all he talked about and never once brought up emotions. 

“You aren’t like him,” Aaron said. His voice was unexpectedly soft. “You’re never going to be like him.” Aaron dropped his bag onto his desk. “Sit down. We’ll get your stupid books later. You want some hot chocolate? That always cheers Andrew up.” Kevin sat himself down on the couch while Aaron crossed the room to make two cups of hot chocolate. 

“Do you still think about your mom?” Kevin asked, his voice just as quiet as Aaron’s. “I still think about Riko all the time. I see him when I close my eyes. I can’t sleep hardly because hes...he’s always there. He’s there after eight hours waking me up to go to practice. He’s there counting my calories and picking my food. How do I live when he’s still with me?”

“I think about my mom a lot,” Aaron said, bringing over the hot cup. He handed it to Kevin before sitting down himself. “Not as much as I used to but yeah, I do.” Aaron wasn’t one to talk about this stuff. He liked burying it deep inside him and letting it spill out once a week during his session with Betsy. “Talking about it helped. As much as I absolutely hate Neil with my whole being, he was right. Pushing me towards Betsy was the only right thing he’s ever done. You should try it sometime.”

“I don’t talk to her,” Kevin admitted. “I don’t want her to think I’m crazy or something.”

“She talks to Andrew every week. I think you’ll be on the mild end of her patient spectrum.” Kevin let out a breathy laugh that sent Aaron’s stomach into a somersault. 

“I guess you’re right,” Kevin said, looking over at the other. They both sat on either end of the couch, leaning back against the armrests to face each other. “Sorry...For dropping this all on you. You’re really the only one who might get it.” 

Aaron waved a hand. “Yeah yeah, its whatever dude. Just drink your hot chocolate before I stop being nice and kick you out.” They both shared a laugh before going back to sitting in silence. Eventually, Aaron turned on a movie and they both just sat. They drank their drinks, keeping their eyes on the screen in front of them. Somehow, Aaron’s legs ended up up on the couch, his feet resting comfortably against Kevin’s thighs. Somehow, Kevin’s hand found itself rested on Aaron’s calf. Somehow, Kevin and Aaron ended up laying, side by side, buried underneath Aaron’s comforter. They slowly drifted to sleep, Kevin’s head on Aaron’s chest. Whatever they were watching was long forgotten in favor of each other’s presence. They weren’t worried about Matt walking in; they were far too sleep deprived to give any thought to it. 

[stanbillyhargrove]

Demons - The Rewrite

Chapter 24: Beauty In Death

TW: SUICIDE

Billy’s POV

Cat woke up sick the next morning. Her body just couldn't handle being out in the cold for as long as she had been. Steve, Max and I spent our time nursing her back to health. Bringing her tea and medicine. Tried to get her to eat some soup but everytime she did, she'd end up in the bathroom puking.

She got a fever on the third day. Woke up soaked in sweat and shivering. I skipped school for the morning to stay with her while she drifted in and out of sleep. Switched with Steve at lunch so we didn't fall too far behind on our classes.

We had to call Julie that night. Steve was helping Cat stand up and she had passed out. Just crumpled like a rag doll. Luckily, Steve caught her before she hit the floor or the table.

Julie brought some antibiotics home on her break and thanked us for taking care of Cat before leaving again.

She lasted a few more weeks with Steve and I trying our hardest to never leave her alone. She tried as best as she could to put on a happy front and pretend everything was okay. Max hung around her a lot, keeping that little spark of hope alive. We tried splitting up the nights with her so only one of us would be with Cat every night in hope that the other would be able to relax but both Steve and I had been restless on nights we were alone so we both ended up spending every night at Cat’s. The three of us would pass out sprawled against one another on the couch or Steve would take the couch while Cat and I slept in her room. There were a few times where Steve would drift off behind Cat, holding her so gently, and I would have to leave. I’d go outside to smoke and push down the spark of jealousy in my chest that set me on edge.

But I found myself thinking of Steve almost like a brother and I knew he loved Cat too. And I had to let them have that, let her have all the good in her life that she could.

We drove her to and from school and spent every possible second with her. But it had been exhausting, draining and we were starting to feel run down. Steve had been having a hard time staying awake during class, during basketball practice he had no energy and had been benched the past few days. I knew I was hitting that point of exhaustion too, my brain felt foggy and I was having a hard time focusing on anything.

And now there was a big game this week against a rival team. Coach had pulled Steve and I aside. Told us to get our shit together for the game or don't bother coming back to the team. Told us not to embarrass him.

Then the day of the game came and we were ready. We'd spent the last few nights trying to get as much sleep as we could. Cat seemed to be doing a little better so it made it easier to sleep.

"You're coming to the game, right?" Steve asked Cat.

We were in the parking lot after school. The game didn't start for a couple hours.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," she smiled, "I just need to get this assignment done. Mom will drive me back later."

Steve pulled her in for a hug, "see you later."

Cat gave Steve a quick smile, “love you, Stevie,” and squeezed his shoulder before getting in the front seat of the Camaro.

I pulled up to her house and noticed the driveway was empty except for Cat's broken down car, “your mom isn't home. Should I stay?"

Cat smiled, squeezed my hand lightly, “she'll be here soon, go get ready for your game," she leaned over to press her lips against mine, "love you, B."

I got home and scarfed down a sandwich that Susan made me before getting ready for the game. I was almost ready when Max appeared in my door.

"Is Cat coming to watch the game too?"

"Yeah, her mom's bringing her. You gunna save her a seat?"

She nodded, "I gotta tell her we finally beat the high score on that game at the arcade."

"Wow, good job, Max. She'll be proud," I said, grabbing my bag from the floor, "you ready?"

Jump.

Score.

The whistle blew.

Half time.

Our team crowded together to cheer for our last second point. Hands clapped my back. People in the stands cheered.

But when Steve and I looked out to the stands, we didn't see her.

I caught Max's eye and mouthed, "Cat?"

She shrugged and shook her head and disappointment settled heavy in my gut.

Steve and I were pulled into the locker room with the rest of the team.

He leaned in to whisper, "where is she?"

I shrugged, "don't know," I whispered back as our coach came in.

My mind was racing while our coach spoke. Is she okay? Is her mom with her? Why isn't she here? She was supposed to be here.

The rest of the game went by in a blur. The final whistle blew and we were swept up in the cheering of our celebrating team.

"We should check on her," Steve said quietly when our team started to disperse into the locker room.

"She did say her mom would be home tonight, maybe they're spending time together."

Steve didn't look convinced.

"I'll drop Max off, you pick up something to eat and we'll meet there. She's okay."

She has to be.

When I pulled up to the house, Steve had just pulled up and was getting out of his car.

Julie's car still wasn't there.

We hurried up to the door and let ourselves in.

"Cat?" I called.

We waited a second, slipping off our shoes. Steve walked in and set a box of pizza down on the kitchen counter.

"Cat?" He yelled, worry growing.

There was a note taped to the fridge, "Be back in a couple weeks. Be good, mom."

It dawned on me, "she wasn't coming home today.."

Steve took off running, grabbing Cat's bedroom doorframe to stop himself before ducking in.

"Cat?"

My heart was threatening to pound out of my chest.

“Cat?” I called, my voice ringing through the house, "Hello?"

Steve was panicking, shaking like a fucking leaf and cursing under his breath. I swallowed past the lump in my throat and pushed forward to the bathroom. Wrapped my fingers around the doorknob and twisted.

Click.

Locked.

Steve came forward to knock on the door, "Cat?

Silence.

I rattled the handle, "Cat? Can you answer me?"

We waited a second, holding our breath.

Nothing.

Steve stepped back a bit, shaking his head.

His voice hitched, "Cat, please?"

I pounced my fist against the door, "Cat, open the door!"

"Cat!" Steve yelled, losing his composure as he slammed his hand against the wood.

I pounded on the door harder, rattled the door know again, "Cat! Come on!"

Steve slammed his shoulder against the door and choked on tears.

"Back up," I said as I stepped away from the door.

I threw myself into the door as hard as I could. Wood cracked loudly under my shoulder, but not enough.

Steve had his hands in his hair, fingers clenched tight in his locks. His whole body tense.

I ran across the hall and threw my weight into the door again.

Wood splintered and gave way. The door flung open, swinging into the wall behind it.

I felt my knees give out when I saw what waited inside.

Cause while Steve had dealt with this before, had lived through this before, I wasn’t prepared for this.

Suddenly I was thrown into a memory of the first time Neil gave me a bloody nose when I was young and I couldn’t stop staring at the blood running down my face.

While I sunk to the ground, Steve leaped over me, a string of curses spilling from his lips.

“Fuck, fucking call someone! Jesus,” Steve ordered, hands shaking as he whipped around to grab towels.

I didn’t hear him, couldn’t hear him past the sound of my own blood rushing in my ears. I felt like my lungs had filled with cement and I couldn’t gulp in enough air to fill them anymore.

Steve looked at me and scrambled over to grab at my arms, “jesus, Hargrove. Fucking, get over here,” he pulled me across the floor and wrapped my hands around Cat’s arms, “squeeze tight."

His hands left bloody prints up my arms. Her blood.

“But…you..last time..she's okay, right?"

“This is worse, we need help," he squeezed my hands around her arms, "tight. Don’t let go.”

My jaw worked with words that wouldn’t find their way past my tongue as Steve released me to run out of the room.

Worse? I couldn’t imagine how there could be a better or worse to this.

“Hello? I need an ambulance,” Steve’s watery voice echoed through the house, “my friend, she slit her wrists…”

I stopped listening, my only focus the metallic tang that hung thick in the air, coating the inside of my nose until I felt nauseous.

“Cat?” I croaked, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Baby. Please, please come back, just look at me, okay? Please? Just open your eyes, Baby,” I begged, trying to keep an iron grip on her arms but wanting so desperately to shake her until she woke up.

Steve came hurrying back into the bathroom, a red mark smeared across his cheek where he’d wiped at his face, “they’ll be here soon.”

He crowded beside me and grabbed at Cat’s face, leaving a matching smear, “hey, come on. Wake up, we’re here. We got you, okay? You gotta stay with us.”

She didn’t move when Steve shook her, and she was so pale. It crossed my mind that maybe we were too late.

My eyes burned as tears spilled down my cheeks, my arms shook and my knuckles were turning stark white against the red towels.

“Steve,” I choked, “I.. I don’t, what…why..?”

Steve chewed his lip, worried at it so much I thought he’d break skin, “fuck. I don’t know, I don’t know what to do. We just gotta try to keep her from bleeding out until the ambulance gets here,” he tried to shake her again and got no response, “mother fucker! Come on, asshole! Open your fucking eyes!”

My jaw ticked as anger spiked in my chest, “don’t swear at her!"

Steve whipped his head around to glare at me through dewy eyes, “really? You think me swearing is going to make this any worse?”

“I don’t know, Steve! Is it going to make it any fucking better?” I spat.

Steve opened his mouth to start yelling at me when he heard sirens coming closer and instead stood up with a huff, “stay here.”

“The fuck else do you think I’m gunna go?” I growled under my breath as he left.

“Please,” I pleaded, barely keeping myself from sobbing, “please, Cat. You can’t..you can’t fucking leave me like this. You just need to hold on, okay? Just stay with me, please. It'll be okay, everything will be okay. Just hold on."

I didn’t have to wait long before Steve hurried back with a couple paramedics holding a stretcher. They crowded into the bathroom, one man gently moving me out of the way to grab at Cat, fingers moving everywhere to test for a pulse and lift her eyelids.

Steve and I could only hear snippets of what they were saying to each other.

“Unconscious…non responsive….we’re gonna need an IV…I’ve got a heartbeat, barely."

They moved to lift her onto the stretcher and hurried back out to the ambulance with Steve and I following behind.

"Is she okay?" I asked, following behind.

They didn't answer, just hurried to load her into the ambulance. One of the men climbed into the back with her and went to close the door but was stopped by me grabbing the door.

"Sir, I need you to let go."

"I'm coming," I said, trying to climb into the ambulance.

He held up a hand, stopping me, “I’m sorry, immediate family only in the ambulance. You guys will have to follow us, call her parents.”

I looked at the man’s stupid freckled face, his stupid kind eyes and had to stop myself from tackling the man to the ground.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Do you see parents? We’re all she has! We have to go with her! I need to know she’s okay!” I shouted.

“Sir! You need to calm down,” the man replied sternly, “can’t let you in. Rules."

Steve grabbed my bicep and pulled gently, “Billy, let them go. They need to go,” he urged.

I tensed, my face going stony and backed away from the ambulance doors as Steve pulled at me with a shaking hand.

Steve was shaking violently as the ambulance drove away, sirens blaring. He never let go of my arm, he held tight like he thought I might bolt or he might collapse if he were to let go.

When the ambulance was out of sight, I turned and pulled my keys out of my pocket, “let’s go.”

Steve shook his head, “no, I need to, we gotta..we can’t leave that mess.”

I glared at him, I didn’t want to have to face that again, but followed Steve inside anyway. I followed Steve back to the bathroom where he dutifully handed me a couple towels and started filling the tub with hot water. We started wiping up the blood silently, neither of us ready to break the silence as we turned the bath water red from rinsing out the towels. It was eery, seeing the outline of where Cat had been slumped on the floor, clean and empty against the pool of dark red. I stuck my hand in the middle of the clean spot and felt my chin begin to waver. It was too much, seeing the blood pooled on the floor and sprayed up onto the cabinet, the smeared hand print on the edge of the tub next to shining metal.

“Steve,” I choked out.

He looked up at me with big, glassy eyes, there was a steady stream running down his cheeks that he hadn’t bothered to wipe away. With a huff I threw down the towel I had been cleaning with and stalked out of the house into the front yard. I fumbled to pull a cigarette out of my jacket and light it, my hands shaking and leaving red prints everywhere. Steve didn’t follow me, I was by myself with the weight of the world on my chest.

What am I gunna do if she…?

If she’s gone…forever?

I smoked through my last three cigarettes quickly, relishing in the acrid burn of my lungs until I went to grab another and found my pack empty. I screamed out a curse and threw the empty carton across the lawn and collapsed to the ground, holding my head in my hands and sobbing violently.

I should’ve fucking been here, she shouldn’t have been alone.

I knew, deep down, that she wasn't getting better. I had just been stupid enough to hope. To hope that she'd turn a corner, that her mom would be here to make sure she was okay.

But she wasn’t here, nobody was. And Cat was alone.

And that's my fault.

I sat there, wallowing in my anger and despair until my chest stopped heaving and my breath started to come normally again.

Briefly, I wondered if she left a note, something explaining why I wasn’t enough. Why we weren't enough to keep her alive.

I set my jaw, wiped at my cheeks and slowly got back to my feet to go back inside. I could hear Steve’s heart wrenching sobs as soon as I walked inside and followed them to find him curled up on the floor in Cat’s room, his head buried in his bloody knees. I gently knelt down next to him, twisting my fingers together in my lap.

“Don’t got any cigarettes to offer you,” I muttered, my voice scratchy and rough.

Steve sniffed and took a shuddering breath, “she didn’t call or anything...I tried s-so fucking hard.”

“I know,” I placed a hand on his back gently, “I know you did. We did all we could, Steve.”

“We should go..” he whispered.

“Yeah, okay,” I agreed, standing back up and extending a hand to him.

He puffed out another long breath before taking my hand to pull himself off the floor. Before I could think, Steve had collapsed into my shoulder, his arms gripping at my back in a crushing embrace as he choked out another sob.

“I should have been here, we shouldn’t have left her alone. This is my fucking fault,” he cried.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders firmly and grit my teeth before trying to talk past the knot in my throat, “Steve. Come on, it’s not your fault.”

@charmed-asylum​

[jemej3m]

HAVE U EVER THOUGHT OF A BAND!AU?? i love band au's and ur work!!! (not to mention but i think u would write an excellent drummer!andrew)

are you kidding me??? have i ever thought of a band au? bruh i breathe band au’s

also, i wanted this to be soft, so have some childhood friends starting a band out of their mum’s garage :DD

*

“Can I now?”

Neil ducked his head, trying not to show Andrew his grin. “No, ‘Drew.”

Andrew cocked his head. “How about now?”

Neil turned around and arched a singular eyebrow at the man. “You cannot shove your drum stick through Kevin’s brain, Andrew. Not now: not ever.”

“I hate you,” he muttered. Neil just grinned. 

“You say the sweetest things to me, ‘Drew.” With that, he turned and continued to tune his acoustic. Behind him, Andrew was going bright red. 

What started as a friendly, neighbourhood band had turned into something else entirely: Neil and Andrew were cramped backstage, tuning and warming up. Kevin was probably talking to his mom on the phone, whilst Nicky was most certainly trying to escape their security detail and go flirt with fans in the event centre’s foyer. He could charm a crowd. 

They’d started the band up when they were just kids: Neil remembered Kevin grabbing him by the sleeve and dragging him across the street, where he’d noticed the three Dobson boys setting up instruments in their garage: Nicky on bass, Aaron on keyboard and Andrew on his drumkit. 

Neil, having been only 11 whilst the others were 12 or 13, wasn’t as outspoken or enthusiastic about joining them as Kevin was. 

“Come on, Neil,” Kevin insisted, dragging him by the elbow. “I’ll sing and you play the guitar. Okay?”

“It might be fun, Neil,” his sister, Dan, insisted, giving him a gentle push out the door. “It’s just messing around in a garage band. Nothing serious.”

If little Neil knew where he���d be, nine years later, he probably would’ve spontaneously combusted out of paranoia and fear. 

Adult Neil still got anxious - he always wanted to perform his best - but it’d taken years of gigs and scouts and labels to work them up to where they were now. It was a gradual process, which definitely helped the whole stage-fright thing. 

“What are you thinking about?” Andrew inquired, sitting down behind Neil and hooking his chin over Neil’s shoulder. He smiled, leaning back against his best friend. 

“Just stuff,” he responded. “How we got here. Where we’ll go.”

“Next stop on the tour is D.C.”

“Funny.”

“Yes,” Andrew agreed, deadpan. “That’s what I’m known for.”

Neil just laughed, getting to his feet. “We’d better get ready before Kevin comes back.”

“Your brother is the worst,” Andrew grunted, following suit. 

“At least we’re not related,” Neil grinned, jostling Andrew’s shoulder. “You can’t talk: you’re Aaron’s twin.”

Andrew just pointed a stick at Neil in warning. 

*

The lights were flashing. Audience screaming. Neil opened his eyes out of his reverie and looked to his counterparts: Nicky was rushing up and down the front lines, giving out as many hugs as he could. Kevin was waving and blowing kisses. And Andrew - 

He stood behind his drumkit, shirtless and dripping with sweat. He still bore his armbands, brimming with blades and secrets, and in his hands he loosely held his favourite pair of drumsticks, a pair Betsy had bought him, one’s he’d been careful to not break. 

Neil’s mouth was dry as he walked over to where Andrew stood. A spotlight blazed from above, shrouding Andrew’s head and illuminating his hair like a golden halo. He looked angelic. He was angelic. 

“You were amazing,” Neil said, voice lost under the cacophony of the crowd. His hand was reached out, gently brushing the bare skin of Andrew’s bicep. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore: the post-show euphoria was driving him. 

Andrew didn’t need to hear him. He could read lips. Read intentions. 

They were ushered off the stage soon after, Neil’s ears still ringing, his fingertips still burning. Andrew tugged on a fresh shirt, a towel around his neck. He had the most laborious job out of all of them, save maybe Kevin. Neil looked away from the way his hair curled at the nape of his neck. 

“Good show,” Kevin panted, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. Neil nodded, the exhaustion of playing for four hours settling in. His shoulders ached, fingertips raw with playing both his guitar and the keyboard (Neil filled Aaron’s vacancy when he’d fucked off to college) whilst his throat ached from countless harmonies and backups he sung for Kevin. 

Genuine praise from Kevin was rare and prized for their band, and was usually reserved to the few moments after a performance finished. Then he’d go back to his regularly scheduled criticisms and evaluations. 

“Wasn’t it?” Nicky grinned. “We are such hot shit sometimes! Anyway,” he slung his guitar off to the side, careless. Neil winced a little. “I’ve got a cutie waiting in my car, apparently.” He winked. “His name’s Erik and he’s built like a wall. I’ll see y’all tomorrow!” 

“Jesus Christ,” Kevin said, not unkindly. They were all used to Nicky’s antics by now. He looked back to Neil. “You gonna stay with Andrew or me?”

Neil narrowed his eyes. Was he going to stay with his brother or his best friend? The choice wasn’t exactly hard to make. 

Kevin put up his hands. “What? I thought you two’d had a lover’s spat or something, before the show.”

“Kevin,” Andrew warned, voice low. 

“You guys weren’t as synthesised as you usually are,” Kevin continued. “Did Neil say something, again? Neil, what did you do?”

“Kevin,” Andrew snapped. 

The man took his final warning with a grain of salt and rolled his eyes, peeling off to cool down and head back to the hotel. He left Neil standing in the middle of the corridor, baffled. What the fuck was he talking about? A lover’s spat?

“Don’t think too hard, junkie,” Andrew muttered, fingers hooked into the collar of Neil’s shirt. “He’s just sprouting his usual bullshit.” But Andrew couldn’t look him in the eyes. 

“Right,” Neil agreed, smiling weakly. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“Shut up,” Andrew tugged him down the corridor with a finger hooked through Neil’s belt loop. 

Neil went willingly. He always went willingly with Andrew. There was no one else in the world that he trusted more.

*

“What do you mean, you’re not a thing?”

Neil paused with his fingertips up to the door, ready to push it open. It seemed as though he had stumbled upon a conversation - perhaps not for Neil’s ears. 

“He’s not interested,” Andrew said, sounding exhausted. “And I’m not about to pressure him into something he doesn’t want.”

Huh. Maybe they were talking about a new guy. Andrew didn’t date that often - or very successfully - and he was usually not willing to talk to Neil about it whenever it did happen. Neil wasn’t quite sure why but respected his boundaries nevertheless. He just didn’t know that Andrew went to Kevin about it. 

Neil wondered who it was, this time. Roland? He’d been the most long-term thing Andrew had ever attempted. No, Andrew said he wasn’t interested in Roland. Unless he was lying. 

Andrew doesn’t lie to me, Neil reminded himself. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kevin insisted. “He’s been in love with you ever since he first saw you. Don’t give me that look, Andrew. Put away your knives.”

“Do you think so?” Andrew asked, voice low. Gravelly. Tainted by disbelief.

Something in Neil’s chest tightened. He sounded…hopeful. Neil was arbitrarily jealous. Who was this guy? 

Wait, why was Neil jealous?

He pushed against the door, ignoring the way that the two of them shifted so that it didn’t look like they were engaged in conversation. 

“We’re loading up the bus,” he supplied. “Time to get moving.”

And if Neil noticed the way that Andrew walked around him, careful not to brush their knuckles, well. 

He didn’t say anything. 

*

By the end of the third week, Neil couldn’t handle it anymore. He wasn’t sure what he’d done, or why Andrew was so adamant in avoiding him, but he hated it. He hadn’t felt this isolated since his early years when his father would shut him in a wardrobe and his mother would scold him for eliciting his father’s ire, before both of his parents died and Wymack adopted him into his strange little family, brought him into the tiny cul de sac  where Betsy Dobson and Abby Winfield lived with their own collections of abandoned kids. 

“Andrew,” he mumbled as he watched Andrew tuck himself into his own bed. They were sleeping in the same hotel room but they were millions of miles away from each other. Neil felt stiff and confused. 

Resigned, he shut the light off. 

*

“Fix it,” Kevin demanded. 

“Fix what?”

“Just tell him already. It’s getting nauseating.” 

Neil narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Kevin threw Neil’s lyric notepad back at him. “‘Living limbless, lost, lonely, ever since you went and left me’? What do you mean, what am I talking about? I thought you two were already together - now he’s saying you were never interested? What the fuck, Neil. You’ve been practically married for years.” 

Neil blinked. “Me and -”

“Andrew, yes, who else?” Kevin continued, irritable as he scrawled down new ideas. “You’re so fucking dense sometimes - ow!” 

Neil stuck out his tongue, satisfied with the large black line his thrown pen had left behind. He fished out another pen from his bag and kept writing, letting Kevin’s banter distract him from how painful his chest felt. 

*

The tour was ending. They were looping back to South Carolina. Andrew hardly looked at him anymore, let alone spoke to him. Kevin looked at Neil with pity. Nicky tried to cheer everyone up with icecream. 

Neil couldn’t understand why they were falling apart. What had he done? What had he said? 

The screams irked him. They sounded less ecstatic and more afraid. Neil was falling apart onstage, overthinking. They’d just played for Charleston, one of their last stops on the tour. 

The curtains came down. Neil couldn’t move. The others were already off the stage. Neil couldn’t breathe. 

“Neil,” Andrew said. He couldn’t look Andrew in the eye. How was he to explain that Andrew’s estrangement had left him in such a miserable state that he could hardly perform without breaking down? 

“Neil, look at me.” 

Neil closed his eyes. “Whatever I did - I’m sorr -” 

“Abram,” Andrew whispered, before pressing a bruising kiss to Neil’s lips. His eyes flew open, though he didn’t move. It didn’t matter: Not a moment later, Andrew ricocheted back, hand over his own mouth. In his other hand, his favourite drumsticks snapped, falling to the floor in uneven halves. 

By the time Neil had opened his mouth, Andrew was gone. 

Neil spent the drive to the pub they’d chosen to ride out their performance high in silence. Andrew was stoic and unmoving, silent despite Nicky’s attempts at conversation. When they arrived, Neil felt like he wanted to throw up. 

It was bustling at the late hour, but dark enough to slip in unnoticed. Neil followed Andrew up to the bar: at one point, someone shoved into Andrew and Neil felt him press Neil against the marble top, warm from shoulder to shin. Neil wanted to lean back into him. He wanted Andrew to look at him, to talk to him. He wanted Andrew back. He wanted Andrew. 

Quickly, he turned around, ignoring the bar tender when he asked if he was sure he wanted a virgin martini. Andrew was right there, pupils blown, cheeks red. Angry. 

He was furious. 

“Andrew,” Neil insisted. “Why -” 

He grabbed the tray of drinks and disappeared before Neil could form a sentence. 

And - well. Neil wasn’t known for subordination. 

He waited patiently for the others to get drunk and disappear into the crowd, like they always did. Sometimes Nicky dragged Neil with him, if the night was right. Andrew usually just sat, patiently waiting for his family to return to him. His whiskey sips were cautious and slow. 

Tonight was different. As soon as they were alone, Andrew stood, knocked back the entire glass and strode towards the exit. Neil let his breath hitch and followed, almost jogging in order to keep up with Andrew’s stride. 

“Andrew, this is insane,” he said as they walked down the street, leaving the bar behind. “I’m losing my mind here. Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you even look at me? What did I do?” 

“Exist,” Andrew snarled, hands curled into fists and shoved into the pockets of his denim jacket. 

Neil ran ahead of him, almost tripping over the uneven sidewalk. They’d walked far enough that they seemed to have removed themselves from any remnants of the club, and instead were stood in front of a circular, patheon-esque church and its haphazard graveyard. 

Andrew stopped walking and stared. In the moonlight his skin was pale enough to be translucent. 

“Tell me,” Neil whispered. “Truth for truth. We promised, Andrew. To never lie, to never leave. Why did you kiss me?”

“You promised,” Andrew corrected him. “I swore I would have your back. Does that have to constitute being attached at the hip?” 

Neil crossed his arms, petulant. 

Andrew’s sigh was aggravated. “It was never meant to be a problem.”

“What was?”

“You.”

“Andrew -” 

Fingers curled in the collar of his shirt, then slipped across the warm skin at the nape of his neck, then tangled themselves into Neil’s hair. Andrew pulled their foreheads together, squeezing his eyes closed too tight. Neil wanted to iron out the crease between his brows. 

“‘Drew?”

“Shut up,” the man croaked. “Shut up. Shut up.”

“Andrew,” Neil said, weakly. “I wanted to kiss you.” 

Andrew’s nails dug into Neil’s scalp. “No you didn’t.”

“Yes,” his fingers carefully found their way onto Andrew’s jaw, forcing the man to look up at him. “I did.” 

Andrew just swallowed, red-cheeked. 

Neil pulled Andrew closer, head dropping to Andrew’s shoulder. His heart throbbed like a drumbeat, heavy and insistent and never, ever out of time. “Is that what this is about?”

“No,” Andrew lied. 

“I think I like you, ‘Drew,” Neil whispered into the skin of Andrew’s neck. “I think I really do.” 

“I hate you,” Andrew managed, sliding his hands around Neil’s waist and holding him close under the Charleston moonlight. “I hate you.” 

“I know,” Neil managed, closing his eyes. It made a lot more sense, now. 

Between their erratic breathing and racing pulses, a drumbeat formed. 

[mickmarstookmyheart]

Mrs Mars

Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader

A 'Trust' story. You can still read it if you haven't read the trilogy. If you are interested check at the Masterlist in my bio. The only thing you need to know is that Zoe is (Y/N)'s daughter and John is her abusive ex.

Summary: wedding, some Guns N Roses moments, fluff, and anger...in a nutshell

(4400 WORDS! Wtf)

“So what do you think?” You asked from Heather and Sharise. You had already tried at least five wedding dresses but you unsure about each of them.

“It looks stunning, darling.” Sharise said. She wasn’t really helpful, she was just busy about her nails and was looking for dresses for herself.

“I’m sure Mick will love it. Tell me what do you like about this dress? Why would you choose this over the previous ones!” Heather was a bit different. She helped you organize everything and gave you advice since she already had a wedding with Tommy. You meet with her and Sharise at a gathering where everybody was present. The band, Sharise, Heather, Tommy’s parents and sister, Athena. Also Vince’s children Elizabeth and Neil along of course with Zoe. This was the day when Mick proposed properly.

Throwback

“On a scale of one to ten how bad it would be us getting married?” Mick asked with a smirk. Always with his scales. You felt tears running down your cheek while looking down at Mick.

“Off to charts.” You said earning a gasp from him and everyone. “Let’s do it.” You were sure you could hear the rocks rolling down from everyone’s heart. Mick stood up and kissed you passionately.“

Throwback end

This thought was the only thing that helped you through this whole circus. Neither Mick nor you wanted a big wedding just a small gathering, but since everybody nagged you, you agreed. With John you didn’t have one, you just signed the papers and that was all. Now you know it was just because he wanted to have you as property.

"Well, I like the laces and neck. I think it will be the one. You smiled and sighed when you heard the doorbell rang. You turned and saw Vince with Zoe, Lizzie, and Neil along with Tommy. Tommy put Zoe down and she immediately started to run to you. You bent down as much as the dress let and hugged her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?” You asked and wiped the ice cream which remained on her lips with a tissue.

“We were eating nearby and we thought we might hop in to see our girls.” Vince said while sitting down beside Sharise.

“Wow, Aunt (Y/N), you look like a real princess.” Elizabeth said wide-eyed.

“Cause she is.” Zoe stated crossing her little arms proudly.

“Aww, thank you, loves.” You hugged both of them. “So, boys?” You put one of your hands on your hips.

“You are beautiful.” Vince said. Sharise was eyeing him jealously. You didn’t understand her because you were the one who gonna have a wedding soon with another man. Needless to say, Vince had already proposed to her.

“T-Bone?”

“I think it perfectly fits your body. And the color is perfect.” He said like a pro.

“Heather, what did you do to him?”

“Nothing.” She laughed before Tommy kissed her playfully.

“Then, I guess this is the one.” You admired the dress in the mirror.

“Are you ready to go?” You asked holding the large and heavy dress in your hand.

“Umm, (Y/N), can you watch over Neil and Elizabeth a bit? Sharise wants to look around here. We will go and pick them up soon, I promise.” He winked and kissed your cheek when you nodded.

“Of course, Vinnie. The three of them like to play together in the garden. Go and spend some time with her.”

“You are the best.”

“Zoe, Liz, Neil! Come here.” They ran to you giggling.

“Yes, Auntie?”

“Your dad has some programs in the afternoon so we are going on an adventure. What do you think? Are you ready, pirates?” They all cheered and were growling like pirates. “Then come to the ship and conquer the pool at our place! Heather, Tommy you coming?”

“Aye, aye, Captain.” Tommy saluted and helped you bring the dress and put it in the back.

∆

“Look, mates! There is the enemy. The old grumpy Captain Blackhair.” Neil said holding a stick in his hand. He was pointing at Mick. The children including Tommy, Heather, and you were hiding behind the trees nearby the pool. It wasn’t your intention to involve him, but it was Neil’s idea so let’s be it.

“It is said that he eats children for lunch.” Tommy said spookily. Heather and you shared a 'are you serious?’ look. “Can we let him do that?” Tommy asked the children who were eager to combat the enemy.

“NO!” They held their sticks in the air screaming and invaded poor Mick. He opened his eyes for the noise and sat up. You and Heather were walking side by side approaching them to tell the children to spare Captain Blackhair’s life. You snickered when Lizzie poke Mick in the belly with her stick and Mick fell in the chair dramatically.

“Oh my! Why? Why I had to die in such circumstances?” And he always says you are the drama queen.

“Cause you eat children!” Zoe yelled giggling.

“Really? And who is saying that?” She pointed at Tommy who was a bit frightened and was walking backward. Mick narrowed his eyes.

“You are stabbed, remember, Captain Blackhair?” You threatened him to save Tommy from him. “I was about to tell them to spare your life but if you are looking at me like that, I won’t.”

“I want revenge!!” Mick coughed playfully and finally leaned back in the chair.

“Hurray!! Let’s go back to our ship and celebrate the victory!” Zoe shouted Tommy picked up Zoe on his shoulders. Lizzie jumped on Neil’s back and they jumped in the pool. They managed to splash water on you, luckily you were wearing a swimsuit so it was no problem, well for Mick…he was soaking wet and you and Heather couldn’t take it back anymore. You both burst into laughing making Mick roll his eyes.

“See? That’s why you should wear something more appropriate for summer.”

“Oh really?” He said while standing up. No way he would pick you up and drop you in the water right? That was your last thought when he began chasing you and push you in the pool. He was laughing at you but when you coughed his smile stopped. “Are you okay?” He asked bending down at the side of the pool. 

“That wasn’t nice, Mick.” Tommy said and with that, he pushed him in the pool. Your heart stopped fearing he might hurt his back or something. Of course, Tommy didn’t know about his condition so he didn’t hurt Mick intentionally.

“Well, that wasn’t nice either, Tommy.” You glared at the drummer. When Mick came up from underwater he coughed.

“You are a dead man, drummer.”

“Are you okay?” You asked him looking into his eyes. Mick knew what you meant. He nodded and kissed your cheek to calm you down. “Come, help me!” Mick held his hand up and Tommy took it, and then Mick pulled his hand strongly making Tommy fell in the water. “Now, I’m okay.” He said proudly seeing Tommy coughing, too.

“Okay, I deserved it.” Tommy admitted after he could breathe again.

∆

“You still wanna do this?” Mick asked while you were laying in bed.

“And you are sure you are okay? I could still murder, Lee if you want.”

“I have already told you a thousand times that I have no problem so don’t change the subject.” You turned to him and supported yourself on your elbows.

“Mick, there is nothing I’m sure more than this. I mean, we can finally connect our lives officially, I guess. And I think (Y/N) Mars sounds good.” You were grinning at him and finally earning him a half-smile.

“It sure does.” Mick said before pulling you in a hug.

The day has come. Sooner than you expected. After you two woke up Mick went to the place the wedding will take place, though you stayed in the house and waited for your parents. Your parents lived far away, more particularly on another continent. You hardly spoke to them, you had a big fight with your mom when you left them. You were nervous, you were biting your lip and stomping your feet.

You faked a smile when the taxi stopped in front of the house. You grinned when you saw your dad. You liked him the most and he was the one you could rely on when you were a child.

“Hello, darling.” Your dad greeted and hugged you tightly. “Oh my, you have grown so much.”

“Hi, dad. Well, you, too.” You laughed rubbing his belly.

“Hey, it’s your mother’s fault. She is always in the kitchen and experimenting with food.”

“And you always sacrifice yourself? What a hero.” He placed his hand on your shoulder.

“I missed you, kiddo.”

“I missed you, too.” Your mother was standing on the pavement and was looking at the house. She didn’t look satisfied.

“Hi, mom.” You murmured.

“This house is much smaller than you had with John.” She was obsessed with him, from time to time you were sure she liked him as his own son. You hummed from the statement. You were disappointed, but not surprised. She walked beside you and went into the house without any greeting. You and your dad exchanged a look. He gave you an encouraging smile and patted your back. Cool.

“Coffee or tea?” You asked when the sat down on the couch in the living room.

“I would die for an espresso. Thanks, darling.” Your dad said looking around in the room.

“Still two spoon of sugar with no milk?”

“As always.”

“Mom?” She didn’t answer anything.

“Come on, Grace. You promised that you would behave.” Your father said.

“Okay, no thanks.” She mumbled and rolled his eyes.

When you were ready with the coffee you sat down in the armchair when you heard a noise. You turned your head towards the noise.

“Zoe, how many times do I have to say no running on the stairs?” You scolded your daughter.

“But, mommy look what I drew.” She handed you a piece of paper. You and she were on the art in your dresses you will soon wear. “Mommy, who are they?” She asked hiding behind your back.

“Honey, this is grandpa and grandma. Go greet them.”

“What a big girl you have grown. I haven’t seen you years.” They met Zoe once when she was baptized when she was a few weeks old. He smiled down at her and held his hand for her to shake which she took happily and shook it.

“Hello, grandpa.” She said before she hugged him. When they drifted she went to your mother. She was smiling. It was almost impossible to earn a real smile form her. The only person managed that was John and now, Zoe. She took the child on her knees.

“And how is dad, little one?” She asked her granddaughter.

“He is at the hotel. Where the wedding will be.” She said smiling. She was eagerly awaiting it, she always talked about it. You glanced at your mother who wasn’t happy. You guessed she didn’t want to hear Zoe but you saw something in her eyes, she was about to say something.

∆

“You okay, Mick?” Vince asked him, waiting in one of the rooms of the building. The guitarist was walking around and couldn’t settle himself down.

“Yeah.” He murmured looking in the mirror. Tommy and Nikki were bothering with their bowties. They didn’t manage. After all, they were wasted, cause they were just clumsy. Mick and you threatened them if they dare to drink or do drugs, you will kick their asses.

“Oh come on, man! You look ridiculous. It’s not even straight.”

“Well, just like you, Sixx.” He snickered.

“Can you please shut the fuck up?” Mick snapped. They stopped laughing and walked to him.

“Just calm down, Mick. Everything is gonna be okay. Trust me.” Nikki winked.

“I wouldn’t trust you with my bottle of vodka.” He looked at him. “But thanks. I appreciate it. And sorry for being more grumpy than usual.”

“What is on your mind?”

“Just the future, you know. About (Y/N).”

“What is wrong with her?”

“With her?” He scoffed. “Rather with me. I’m not sure I could make her as happy as she wants.” He sat down and placed his face in his palms.

“Stop talking like that. You made her the happiest person alive. That asshole, Jonas or I can’t even remember his name, just caused her a trauma for the fuck’s sake. Before you broke up and after you met again, I just saw her joyful and grateful whenever you are around. And I think she has a good effect on you. Well, she bares your moody behavior and capable of living under one roof with you.” Vince laughed. Mick just threw a magazine to the singer.

“He is right, dude.” Tommy spoke up. “She is the coolest girlfriend you ever had. Tho I couldn’t recall anyone of your exes.”

“She is happy, Mick. And you are, too. You love each other and there is nothing more to explain. Right?” Nikki patted his back.

“I hope you are right.”

∆

“Are you ready, honey?” You asked Zoe who was holding a basket full of petals. She nodded nervously but you could see the joy in her eyes. “Then if you are ready we can go.” You said. You took a shaky breath and took your dad’s arm.

“And you, are you ready?” Your dad asked smiling down at you.

“Yeah.”

“Then just remember that you are beautiful and gorgeous.”

When the door opened you gulped. Everybody stood up and was watching you. You were smiling at everyone you recognized even at Axl and the guys in the last row. They gave you a thumb up and was making stupid faces to cheer you up. When Mick saw you, he forgot to breathe. You were breathtakingly beautiful. He felt tears in his eyes from happiness. When you got closer you saw how handsome the boys were along with Doc. When your dad handed you to Mick he gripped your hand and whispered in your ear.

“You are beautiful.”

“Look who is talking.” You said gazing him.

∆

“You can kiss the bride.” The priest announced happily. Mick turned to you, took your hand, and kissed you like he never did. You hugged his neck as the bouquet let you. After you parted your lips you two were smiling from ear-to-ear. That was the moment you were waiting. He let one of your hands go and started to run down the aisle. All the guests were clapping and cheering the couple.

“Okay, girls. Gather together!” You shouted to throw the bouquet to see who is gonna marry next. When you threw it, all the girls screaming. You turned around and saw that a black-haired girl caught it whom you didn’t know.

“Vanity, for real?” Nikki pouted pulling his hair.

“You know her, Sixx?” You asked him when Vanity approached him and she kissed the bassist. “So you know her alright.” You laughed and headed to Mick.

“Hey.” He murmured pulling you in a hug. The best place to ever be. You didn’t want to break from his embrace. That was the only place you ever felt this safe and happy. You sighed when you heard someone calling for him.

“Hi, big bro.” A girl, you assumed Mick’s sister was standing beside you smiling.

“Hello, Susie.” Mick never spoke about his family. He mentioned his sister, but you had never met her yet. Mick hugged her and he was truly happy he was finally able to see his sister.

“And you must be (Y/N).” Her face was still shining, you couldn’t imagine how she and Mick are even related. “It’s so nice to meet you. Oh, how dumb I am. I’m Susie. This thing’s little sister.” She joked gesturing to Mick who just rolled his eyes.

“I'm glad, too.” You said.

“Mickey, I’m sorry our parents aren’t here. I tried to convince them but you know how they are.” She murmured petting Mick’s back.

“No problem, Susie. I know you tried. And the only important thing that you are here. Now if you excuse me, I have to talk to some guests.” Mick lowered his head and put his hands in his pockets. He looked annoyed, disappointed, and sad at the same time.

“You will be okay?” You called after him.

“Yeah, don’t worry. Love you.”

“Don’t worry. He will be okay. He did this all the time when we were children. He is a tough man.” Susie tried to cheer you up. Now you understood why he never told you about his childhood. “Come, let’s drink champagne and talk. Or you don’t want to?”

“Oh, I would happily like to. Thanks, Susie.”

∆

“So you didn’t even see each other for 4 years?” She asked playing with the straw in her glass.

“No. But I was the stupid one. He didn’t do anything, I just misunderstood things.” You chuckled.

“I see. Well, I’m blissful your paths crossed again somehow. I appreciate that you have for him. He deserves it more than ever. And you are truly a jackpot.”

“Thanks.” You smiled taking a sip from your drink.

“But tell me about the others! Did Steven and Duff were sitting in the last row during the ceremony?” So she was into rock music.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know who invited them. Hey, do you want to meet them? I see that you are crazy about them.”

“Really?” She gasped.

“I can introduce to them. Come, let’s go find them. They must be somewhere near booze.” You snickered pulling Susie after you. “There they go.” They were standing in a circle with Zoe in the middle.

“Hey, (Y/N). Congratulations!” Steven said.

“Thanks, Steven. Anyway, what are you doing? You are summoning some demon or what?” You asked crossing your arms.

“No. We are just playing.” Axl said picking Zoe up making your daughter giggle.

“If you say so. By the way, guys this is Susie. She is Mick’s sister.” You put your hand on her back pushing closer to them.

“Hi. Omg, I can’t believe I can finally meet you. You guys are awesome. I have already listened to your album for a thousand times.” She said playing with her hair.

“Nice to meet you, Susie. And thanks.” Steven held his hand toward her which she took gladly.

“No way you are his sister. That man looks like a vampire. But you…you are shining so bright.” Axl stated. “Does that have any meaning?” He chuckled rubbing the back of his head with his free hand. Susie’s face was crimson and you were she would melt soon.

“Um, anyway? You are not supposed to play soon?” You asked.

“No, why should we?” Slash inquired.

“Then why are you here?”

“Tommy invited us.”

“He did?” You narrowed your eyes seeing Zoe hiding her face from you. “Zoe, you don’t have anything to say?”

“Okay, just stop looking at me like that. I told Uncle Tommy to invite them. I liked their music and they are so kind and funny.” She giggled seeing Duff making stupid faces.

“Is it true, sweetie?” Axl asked the girl in his arms. She nodded shyly. 

“See, (Y/N), your daughter at least has some good taste. You go and hang with your Mötley Guys.” He pouted playfully. You showed your middle finger to him.

“(Y/N), is that a way a bride should behave?” Your mother said. You sighed knowing she would do some drama soon. She was looking at the band in disgust. “I see you never grown out from your rocker era.”

“No, and I’m proud to be one. These guys who gathered here today as well as Mick’s bandmates are good people. We are like a family. We might not know a lot of things about each other but at least they don’t hit their wives or abusing them like those bastards in the offices.” You said feeling the rage coming out. Izzy and Steven gulped hearing those words.

“Good that you are bringing up your husband or what. He will leave you at the moment he sees a pretty woman on the tours as he already did once.”

“That’s not even what happened!” You screamed. “And don’t dare to say a wrong word about him. He is such a better person than you could ever be. Mother.” You spit the last word.

“I say what I want, young lady. And you even made your daughter call him also her father? What a mother you are?” She didn’t even flinch.

“Hey, madam, she is the best mother I have ever met. She looks after her daughter the way you may never do to her. She always put aside her happiness to make Zoe happier. She is even willing to meet that bastard just to Zoe could see her dad! What is that if not caring?” Axl said. How does he know about this? Maybe Zoe told him.

“Thanks, Axl. It means so much to me.” You said turning back to him. You didn’t see your mother coming closer next to you. When you turned back to her she slapped you. You gasped and held your face.

“Don’t ever say such things to your mother or let anyone do that again.” She said.

“Crazy bitch. I’m sorry (Y/N). I didn’t mean that. Or did I?” Izzy spoke up. 

“How could you lay a hand on her? Even if you are her mother. Even in front of her daughter.”

“Don’t tell me what to do. You are no one.” She told Izzy.

“And you stop talking to them like this You are no one. You are not my mother anymore. Not that you were in the past.” You got the courage to tell her what you think of her.

“You didn’t mean that.”

“Didn’t I? Get out of my wedding. Hell, get the fuck out of my life. Act like you never had a daughter and granddaughter.” With that, you left her and headed towards a restroom to clean yourself up.

“(Y/N), wait!” Susie called after you. “Where are you going?”

“Just the restroom. I will be right back.” You faked a smile. Luckily, this little chat was away from the guests so just a few people saw that. On the way, you met a few of them but you managed to keep a smile. When you opened the restroom door of your hotel room you bumped into Mick.

“Mick? What are you doing here?”

“I can ask the same. Did you cry?” He ran his fingers on your wet cheek.

“Just from happiness.” You sniffed.

“What happened?” He helped you to the bed and sat down with you in his lap.

“My mother. That happened. She was insulting me, but that part didn’t bother me cause I got used it to by now.”

“Then, what’s wrong baby girl?”

“He started telling rude things to the guys from Guns N Roses. And then I got fed up and told her to get out of my life and forget that she even had a daughter.” You played with your dress. You also left out the slapping part, anyway, he will know soon from the guys. “Gosh, I’m so embarrassing.” You said while wiping away your tears.

“You are not embarrassing. Luckily, I haven’t met her, but your dad seemed kind. And don’t worry, she will cause no trouble if she did get out. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” He placed a kiss on your cheek.

“And you? What were you doing here?”

“Just needed some space and time.”

“Your parents?” You asked feeling sorry for not being with him.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“What about if forget about families who suck and finally enjoy our wedding which supposed to be about us?!”

“I would love that.” You giggled.

∆

“That girl right there. She fucking slapped me!” Vince said in the microphone. He almost fell from the little stage he was standing on, he was so drunk. You hid behind your hands and also Mick’s hair. He was laughing at you. Betrayal. “But don’t worry, it didn’t hurt that bad. And we are okay now. She is the most badass mother I know and the great aunt for my children. Thanks (Y/N), and happy marriage with Mick.” He held his glass up and drank from it. You were surprised that he didn’t call Mick an old man or vampire. You also held your booze and nodded at him thanking his wonderful speech.

∆

“(Y/N), you are the best sister and friend that I have ever had. So thanks for existing and congratulations.” Tommy said grinning. Well, that’s what you call topic in a nutshell.

“Asshole, and what I am? A fucking potato?” Athena yelled making Tommy running down from the stage.

∆

“Congratulations to (Y/N) and Mick. I’m glad you finally found the love of your life,” He glanced at Vanity.“with whom you can share all your problems and who will help you through everything. She is a girl you can rely on, Mick. Have a nice marriage full of love and passion.” You felt the tears in your eyes and wiped it immediately. Nikki could be so empathetic sometimes.

∆

“So you liked it?” Mick asked you during your dance. You rested your head on his chest while he placed his chin on the top of your head smelling the scent of your hair.

“Yeah, but I wouldn’t do it again.” You laughed. Mick chuckled and span you around.

Tag: @leatherandheels

More adventures to come with this crazy family so stay tuned!

[raewrites98]

Runaway Train

For @foxeshaveclaws! You wanted long-distance relationships and surprises gone wrong- it's my first time writing for Andreil and this fandom, so I hope this still manages to live up to that, while staying withing the realm of their relationship :) Thank you for your wonderful prompt! Happy Valentine's Day <3 @aftgexchange                                                          *** “Come on, Josten,” Wymack yelled from where he stood behind the plexiglass, “Hurry up.”

Neil grit his teeth. He readjusted his grip on his racquet and swung, fast and hard. The ball sailed across the court, right into Robin’s waiting net as she caught it with practiced ease. He tore his helmet from his head and ran a hand through his sweaty, tangled hair. Fuck. That was the third shot he had missed. (Keep reading here or on AO3!)

“Nice shot, captain,” Jack taunted with a sneer, leaning against the wall. He shared a glance with Sheena, who scoffed in agreement.

It was late afternoon and the team had gathered to practice for their home game against the Breckenridge Jackals this Friday. They had been running drills for the last half hour or so and Neil was suffering. He couldn’t focus. The harsh fluorescent lights stung his eyes and his head pounded viciously. His thoughts kept drifting off into nothing, mind numb from exhaustion. At this rate, Coach was going to bench him.

Wymack blew his whistle, the sharp ring echoing across the court. “Go home,” he said, “You better not pull this shit tomorrow.” He spoke to the team, but Neil could feel the weight of his words as if they were directed at him specifically. He was captain, he should be better than this. He was better than this.

They dispersed slowly, the girls heading to one locker room and the guys the other. Before they parted, Robin brushed a hand against Neil’s shoulder. “Sweetie’s later?” She gave him a half smile. Her wild, curly hair stuck to her forehead, face red and sweaty.

Neil nodded. He went to his locker without a word, sat down and started peeling his shoes off one at a time. Bruises were starting to form where he had been body-checked into the wall several times during their scrimmage. It was a familiar feeling, one that usually offered comfort, but now only made him feel worse. 

A shadow fell upon him. Neil glanced up to see Jack leaning against the lockers, arms crossed. He was still in his bright orange gear, golden hair slicked back. “You better not fuck up this weekend,” he said. “I don't want people thinking the whole team sucks as much as our captain.” A few snickers passed through the room. 

Neil grit his teeth. He undid the Velcro strap of his gloves. Not for the first time, he found himself wondering how Dan had ever managed this- the disobedience and disrespect from players who thought themselves superior. Even as vice-captain, he at least had been able to rely on Kevin’s demanding personality and fame to keep them in check.

But neither of them was here now. Even the cousins were gone, leaving Neil to start the fall semester on his own. He thought after years of running, he was used to being alone, but his time with the Foxes had changed that. He would never admit it out loud, but he missed them. Badly. 

“If you do blow it, though,” Jack continued, “maybe Coach will actually do something worthwhile and give your position to someone who deserves it.”

“Like who, you?” Neil eyed him up and down. Jack was only a sophomore and already thought he was better than everyone else, simply because Kevin recruited him. He started shoving his gear in his locker. “Your defense is weak, you can barely hold your own against the press and, frankly, your personality is shit.”

Jack scoffed. “That’s rich, coming from the guy getting fucked by that psycho Minyard,” he spat, as if the words left a foul taste in his mouth. “Bet the press would have a field day with that.” 

Neil clenched his jaw. Fuck this. His and Andrew’s relationship was never a secret, not with the way the Foxes gossiped, but it was private. He didn’t go around throwing it in everyone’s face, and he definitely didn’t need some arrogant little shit doing that for him. “Don’t,” he warned.

Jack laughed, raising his hands. “What are you gonna do? Make me run laps?” He rolled his eyes.

That was it. 

Neil’s fist collided with Jack’s nose. It gave a satisfying, sickening crack, blood spurting from his nostrils as he stumbled back with a cry, clutching his face. “What the fuck!” He lunged forward. Acting quickly, one of their teammates grabbed him and held him back. “You son of a bitch!” he snarled.

Neil slung his bag over his shoulder. “You want the extra laps too?” Jack glowered at him. “I didn’t think so.” Neil slammed the door shut as he left, the sound of it echoing throughout the gym.

                                                               ***

Neil’s phone rang as he was forcing himself through the last of his math homework. He picked it up without checking the caller ID. All these years and he still had the same ringtone. “Hey.” 

“Hi.” Andrew’s voice was muffled. There was some shifting and crackling through the speaker, until he sounded clearer. “Heard you finally snapped.” 

Neil rolled his eyes. “Who told you?” He chewed the cap of his pen and scribbled down something he thought resembled a logical answer. Tiny inked fox paws and exy racquets littered the margins of his paper. 

“Robin.” Of course. She, along with the rest of the team, had found out during morning practice, when Jack strutted in with a bruised face and swollen nose. To say Coach had been displeased was an understatement.

“He was asking for it.” Neil shoved his book aside and walked over to the bed. He let himself fall backwards onto the mattress, hitting it with a soft huff as the air left his lungs. He balled his hand into a fist, watching the ugly, shiny white scars stretch across his knuckles. A deep purple bruise colored the skin of his hand. He didn’t regret punching Jack. If anything, he wished he had done so sooner. 

“I’m surprised it took you this long,” Andrew remarked dryly.

Neil chuckled. Silence passed. He fidgeted with the strings of his sweater. “How was your day?”

“Long.” After graduation, Andrew had signed a three year contract with Boston’s pro team.  He lived there now, in a small apartment Neil had the only spare key to. It hung on his key chain, along with the ones for Columbia and the Maserati. 

Neil hummed. “You talked to Nicky?”

“More or less,” Andrew said. “He’s as disgustingly happy as ever.” A few months ago, Nicky finally moved to Germany. The wedding wasn’t until next year, but it was all he ever talked about.

“Good.” A pause. “You visiting soon?”

Andrew was silent for a while. “Not for a few weeks,” he said. “Think you can manage that long, Josten?”

He huffed. “I’ll be fine.”

“Sure,” Andrew drawled.

He rolled his eyes. He flipped and laid on his stomach, holding the phone in front of him. “I want to see you,” he mumbled into the sheets.

There was another pause, and for the briefest moment, Neil wondered if he had crossed a line. If he had made things weird. This was their first year apart and learning to navigate this whole long-distance thing was frustrating. They weren’t the most outwardly affectionate to begin with.

“Happy now?”

Neil looked up. A blurry, pixelated image of Andrew appeared on the cracked screen of his phone, glasses sliding down his nose and hair damp. 

He was wearing his PSU sweater, Neil noted. “It’ll do, I guess,” he said with a shrug.

“I could hang up on you, you know.”

“You won’t.” Neil’s smile grew.

He didn’t.

                                                              ***

“You sure you’re okay, Josten?” Robin asked as she chewed at the end of her straw, bending it left and right. Sweetie’s was surprisingly empty for a Monday night. A few people lingered at the bar and an elderly couple occupied the booth behind them, but other than that, it was empty. “And don’t give me that I’m fine crap.” 

Neil pushed his eggs around, watching how the yolk broke and spilled across his plate. “Just tired, I guess,” he mumbled. It wasn’t a lie. He always slept better with someone near him. It used to be his mom, but over time, Andrew had managed to worm his way into that spot instead. In his absence the mattress felt too cold, too empty. It took Neil hours to fall asleep.

“You talk to Andrew?”

“Yeah.” They had called for another half hour or so, before Neil left to finish his homework. It was fine at first, but their conversation had quickly grown stilted, punctuated by one word answers and long silences. He noticed that was happening frequently lately. Thinking about it made him sick to his stomach. He pushed his plate aside.

“Then what’s got you so fucked up?”

“Nothing.” 

Robin gave him a look.

He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s this whole captain thing, I guess,” he said, slumping back in his seat. The leather booth squeaked under his shifting weight. 

“Hey,” Robin said, reaching over to squeeze his hand. “You carried us through the first season. You’re doing fine.” She offered him a reassuring smile.

The gesture was appreciated, but it didn’t make Neil feel that much better. “Yeah,” he muttered, tearing his toast to shreds.

Robin picked up her pencil and started tapping it on her sketchpad. The book was filled with scribbles and quick sketches of him and the team. She carried it wherever she went. “You know what? We should do something fun,” she said suddenly, sitting up. “After the game. Go out for a movie or whatever.”

Neil considered it. He wasn’t a fan of movies, or anything social really, but the idea of spending another night locked in his room alone sounded excruciating. “Sure,” he said with a shrug.

Robin looked surprised. “Okay,” she said. “Cool. Meet me here at eight?”

He nodded. Maybe it would help distract him, even if only for a few hours.

                                                          ***

They ended up losing the game.

Earlier that morning, right before their last practice, Neil sent Andrew a quick text. 

To: Minyard [6:45am] You watching tonight?

From: Minyard [7:25am] Can’t. Plans.

That shouldn’t have bothered him so much. When he was on court, adrenaline pumping through his veins, the weight of his racquet in hand, he couldn’t care less about who was watching. All that mattered was the ball in his net and the goal ahead. Everything else faded into the background.

But Andrew always watched his games. 

And then, when he tried to pry for answers as to what these plans were, Andrew’s replies went from short to nonexistent.

Neil managed to walk the team through warm-ups, but he couldn’t stop the flow of thoughts that forced their way into his mind, whispering of his incompetence as captain, his lack of friends and his possibly dying relationship with Andrew. When the first buzzer sounded and he nearly dropped his racquet, startled out of his spiraling thoughts, he knew it wasn’t going to end well.

It had been a close call in the end though. With thirty seconds left on the clock, Neil soared across court, twisting and turning around the Jackal’s defense until the goal was in sight. He stopped, swung his racquet back and took the shot.

The Breckenridge goalie dove for it and at the very last second, caught the ball with his net. The crowd gave a deafening roar, drowning out the buzzer as it signaled the end of the game. 

Neil’s heart dropped to his feet. He stared at the goal, a cold, dreadful numbness spreading through him. 

“Come on,” Robin muttered, slapping him hard across the back, “Keep it together.” 

The rest was a blur. As captain, he upheld his duty to entertain the press, but didn’t have it in him to bite back against their snarky, provocative comments. Wymack seemed pleased, if not a little concerned with his compliance. 

No one spoke in the locker rooms. Tension hung in the air, sharp and uncomfortable. Most of his teammates slipped out of the room without a word, but Jack stopped in front of Neil as he stood. He towered over him, six feet of anger and misplaced arrogance. “Should’ve fucking known,” he hissed. 

Neil bristled, fists clenched and ready for a fight. 

“Don’t bother, Jack,” one of his teammates said. “He isn’t worth it.”

The door closed and Neil was left alone surrounded by an oppressive, judgmental silence. Sweat trickled down his neck. His chest felt tight with each breath. 

There was only one thing left to do. He had to run.

                                                           ***

The sun was long gone by the time Neil made it back to the Fox Tower. His legs burned and arms ached, but he felt better. Running lessened some of the panic that had held him in a vice-like grip, but their loss still hung over him like a thick cloud. What if Coach was wrong? What if he wasn’t cut out for captain? 

The parking lot was mostly empty, save for a single car parked under the lamppost. Neil crossed the street and kept his head down as he passed. A few steps from the tower’s entrance, he stopped.

He turned. “Andrew?”

Leaning back against the hood of the car, a cigarette in hand, stood Andrew. He was wearing a burgundy button down and black tie, sleeves rolled up to reveal his arm bands. Under the flickering yellow light, his hair glowed a deep gold, neatly swept off his forehead. Neil swallowed thickly.

“Running away again, Josten?” Andrew took a drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke in his direction. His dark eyes flickered over Neil’s sweaty, disheveled appearance.

Neil walked over and came to a stop in front of him. It didn’t make any sense- Andrew wasn’t supposed to show up for another two weeks. What was he doing here? Had he been at the game? Neil hoped not. “Why are you here?”

“Take a guess.”

“I thought you had plans,” Neil bit, shoving his hands in his sweater.

 Andrew looked unimpressed. “Is that your guess?”

“I don’t know,” Neil snapped. “Are you here to watch me ruin my career as captain?” He kicked a stone, watching as it skipped across the parking lot. 

Andrew raised an eyebrow. “One game and you’re ready to jump ship?” He tsked, shaking his head. “I thought you were over the whole ‘flight risk’ thing.”

“I’m not running away,” Neil snapped. 

Andrew stared at him, waiting.

“I just-” He tore a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, okay?” Once he started, he found he couldn’t stop. The words came rushing out with a single breath, every thought and twisted emotion he had bottled up since the start of the school year. “I’m not Dan, or Kevin. I don’t know how to be a good captain, and I definitely don’t know how to do it on my own.”

“Then quit.” The cigarette glowed bright orange, another puff of smoke drifting in the air.

Neil scoffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s not that easy.”

“Nothing is.” Andrew reached for him, turning Neil’s chin so he was forced to look up. He stared at Neil, stoic and calm, the deep brown of his irises like liquid gold, holding Neil captive. It was in that unwavering apathy he found himself relaxing, shoulders slowly sagging as his worries slipped away. “You’ll manage.”

Neil drew a slow breath. The acrid, sharp scent of the cigarette smoke eased his nerves. He nodded. 

Satisfied, Andrew dropped his hand. He picked up Neil’s wrist instead, analyzing the bruised skin of his knuckles. He brushed his thumb along the row of scars.

Neil’s heart skipped a beat. He cleared his throat. “You didn’t answer my question,” he said. 

“You missed dinner,” Andrew remarked.

A frown furrowed Neil’s brow. “What do you mean?”

“You had plans, didn’t you?”

Fuck. In his sudden and overwhelming distress, Neil had completely forgotten about Robin. She was going to be so pissed.

“Yeah, with Robin,” he said. “Did she tell you that too?” He wasn’t the kind to be jealous, but sometimes he wondered if she spoke to Andrew more than he did. 

Andrew looked unamused. “I can’t believe how incredibly stupid you are sometimes.” He gestured to himself.

“What?” Neil’s eyes flickered over his outfit. Then it clicked. “I wasn’t meeting Robin, was I?”

“Reservations were at eight,” Andrew remarked dryly.

Neil checked his phone. Quarter past ten. He winced. Had he really been gone that long? 

He didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like Andrew to visit unprompted. Definitely not like this. Not as a ... surprise. 

Something else caught Neil’s eye as he looked at his phone. “It’s February 14th,” he said, a slow grin curling his lips.

“He knows how to read,” Andrew said with mock surprise.

“That’s Valentine’s day,” Neil persisted.

“Really?” Andrew flicked the cigarette onto the ground, stomping it out with his foot. 

“You know,” Neil said slowly, trailing a finger along the fabric of Andrew’s collar, “I wonder what the press would think if they knew Andrew Minyard was a hopeless romantic,” He stepped closer.

Andrew narrowed his eyes. “One hundred and three percent, Josten.”

He leaned in close, lips inches from Andrew’s. “Yes or no?”

Andrew flicked his head but pulled him forward by his collar. “Yes.”

His lips met Andrew’s in a soft, warm kiss that sent pleasant shivers down his spine. All of his worries faded into nothing and when Andrew’s cool, rough hands found their way into his hair, pulling him even closer, he knew that in the end, he was going to be okay.

[strangerontheotherside84]

Wild Child || Part 3

Warnings: language, violence, abuse (aka Neil being Neil), homophobic slurs

———————————————————————————-

„Hey Max.“, you greeted the red headed girl as soon as the front door swung open. „Hi y/n. Billy isn’t home. That’s what you’re here for, right?“ „Well only partly.“ you began with a smirk while entering the small house on Cherry Road, it was even smaller than it looked like from the outside but also kind of cozy, „I brought him the stuff my uncle ordered for the Camaro and I thought you’d might like these.“

„New wheels and bearings? For me?“, the small redhead couldn’t belive her eyes. „Yeah I saw that run down board of yours and figured you’d might wanna give it a little upgrade. And since you’re not gonna find this sorta stuff in Hawkins, I got it from California.“

„Wow thanks y/n! That’s so cool! I need to try them out right now!“

„You’re welcome kid.“

„But… I don’t get it. How did you order them from Cali together with Billy’s stuff? They don’t sell car parts at a Skateshop.“ „Well the owner of the garage we ordered from is an old friend of my uncle and he was kind enough to walk across the street and do me a little favour.“, you winked at her with a smile. Even though Billy didn’t like her she seemed to be a really cool kid, actually she was your favorite out of all of Steve’s children.

„I really hope you didn’t spend all this money just to impress Billy, he doesn’t really like me you know?“ „I don’t really like him either so that’s fine. Could you show me where his room is? I’m just gonna put this stuff in there and then leave again.“, you gestured towards the big box in your hands, which was getting kinda heavy at this point. You had no idea what was in there. Your uncle had mentioned something about spark plugs and brake pads but you didn’t really listen. Worse enough that you had to function as an unpaid delivery service whenever you were friends with a customer.

„Yeah sure, it’s that door over there. But don’t tell him that I let you in there.“ „My lips are sealed. Have fun with your skateoboard!“

“Oh an y/n?” “Yeah?” “Make sure not to touch anything, he’s pretty gross.” “Not even in my wildest dreams.”

-

„Can I help you?“ You flinched for a split second before turning around. You would have prefered to leave unnoticed, which almost had worked out given the fact that your hand was alreay touching the knob of the front door.

„Uhm no Sir I was just about to leave.“

The tall man in front of you was raising his eyebrows suspiciously, even though they didn’t really look anything alike you figured it had to be Billy’s dad.

„Well that’s lovely but how come you were in my house without me knowing about it in the first place?“

„Oh well Max let me in, I was just dropping off some stuff for Billy an-“

„Oh so you’re the whore he’s been messing around with.“ „Excuse me?“ did that asshole really just?-

„Oh no need to act all stupid. You think I don’t realize how he’s been dressing up and sneaking out of the house like some faggot these past few weeks?“

„So what now? Is he a faggot or screwing around with whores like me? The two don’t really work together, you know?“

„I won’t be spoken to like that in my own house!“

„Yeah whatever… decide for yourself then. Might wanna work on those anger issues.“, you muttered that last part through gritted teeth as you turned towards the door again.

„What did you say to me?“

„Oh nothing. However, whoever your son’s been messing around with it ain’t me, since I am here and he obviously isn’t. So hey maybe he is a faggot after all-“ You couldn’t even react that fast. Without prior warning you were suddenly grabbed by the collar of your leather jacket and shoved against the door.

„I’m only gonna say this one time, so you better listen.“, the voice of Billy’s dad was very low an quiet, almost scary, „Since you’re parents apparently didn’t teach you any respect I’d suggest you stay away from my son. Got me?“ „Loud and clearly, sir.“ you murmured while faking the sweetest smile, „Now get off of me, asshole.“ you pushed the tall man away as hard as you could and quickly grabbed the door knob to finally take off.

You propably should have kept that last part to yourself since only seconds later you were struck by a force that caused you to fall to the floor face first. It took a few seconds before it occured to you that, that bastard had actually dared to slap you across the face after you turned your back at him.

“Jesus… Get up.” apparently that dude was so used to taking it out on his son, that it didn’t occur to him that hitting a girl half his weight, who was obviously unprepared, might result into something like this.

„Don’t touch me! What the fuck is wrong with you?“ you glared at him, while slowly getting back on your feet.

„Language, kid. Now get out of my house.“

„It will be my pleasure!“

You opened the door to storm out but-

„Y/n? What are you doing h- what happened?“

„Not now Hargrove, I’m not really in the mood to talk.“

-

Billy’s POV

The curly haired boy stood in the doorway for a few moments, completely puzzled, his eyes moving back and forth between you storming off and his father, who was rubbing his forehead.

„What did you do to her?“

„Son what did we say about inviting girls over to this house?“, the tall man ignored his question, while slowly shutting the door behind his son. „I..I didn’t invite her over and other than that, she’s just a friend, dad!“

„Oh sure, they always are. So what was she doing in my house then? If you didn’t invite her over?“ „I don’t know.“

„Don’t lie to me Billy.“

„Her uncle owns a garage and they ordered some stuff for me…maybe she was here because of that.“ „So you can’t even pick up your own stuff like a real man now?“, his father scoffed derogatory, „Got to have some pretty girl carry it all the way home for you?“ „Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t know that not refusing free home delivery makes you a faggot now.“

Before even finishing this sentence, Billy already knew that he was gonna regret it later. But he didn’t care. He was used to that by now.

Reader POV

„Stupid motherfucker…“ you mumbled while kicking an empty can across the street. You had been walking around Hawkins for over an hour now, trying to calm your nerves. Or in other words, you were trying to keep yourself from burning down the Hargrove’s house.

You had finally decided to give your legs some rest and took a seat on the hood of a car while lighting a cigarette. You flinched as it touched your busted lip.

„Y/n?“

Oh shit here we go.

„Hi Steve.“

„What are you doing here?“

„What are you doing here?“, you figured it was an appropriate question since you were pretty close to the Wheeler’s house and Steve wasn’t dating Nancy anymore.

„I asked first and also you’re the one sitting on the hood of my car.“

„Oh yeah I thought this one looked familiar.“ you mumbled while adjusting your position, „Just having a walk, trying to slow down my blood pressure.“

„What happened to your face?“

Steve sounded more than concerend as he took a seat next to you.

„Well Steve you’re not the only one in this town who gets beaten up. Even though I must admit it happens to you an awful lot. „Quit the stupid jokes y/n. Are you alright?“ „Yeah I’m fine. It’s nothing. It was just some stupid…you know I was over at Billy’s an-“ „Did he do this?“, Steve quickly jumped onto his feet, „I’m gonna kill that son of a b-“, „Woah slow it down there Steve, we both know how that’s gonna end.“ you grabbed your best friend by the wrirst, indicating that he should take a seat again.

„It wasn’t Billy, he wasn’t even home. I was just dropping of some stuff from the garage.“

„I don’t get it y/n…who beat you up like this?“ You were hesitant for a short moment. Not because you didn’t want to tell Steve what happened but because you weren’t sure if you were in the position to just tell him Billy’s secret.

„It wasn’t Billy…“ you sighed, „It was his dad.“

„His what? What the hell?“

„Yeah he kinda thought I was dating Billy, as if, and you know I couldn’t keep my mouth shut as ususal and then this happened.“

„You need to go to chief Hopper y/n.“ „Oh no Steve absolutely not. If somebody should go report that guy then it’s Billy and if he doesn’t wanna do that, which I can’t blame him for, then it’s none of our business. Do you understand?“ „Yeah.”, Steve nodded in agreement, ”So… his dad..beats him?“

You nodded „But don’t you dare tell him or even act as if you know that. Don’t suddenly start to act nice around him or some bullshit like that.“ „Trust me y/n I can handle not being nice to Billy Hargrove. Other than you I stick to my words apparently.“ „Oh shut up Steve.“ you jockingly hit him against the arm, „If I’d be allowed to remind you, before Billy moved here you were the asshole of this town and even then I was your friend. Sometimes you just gotta give people a chance… Now, what are you and your car doing so close to the Wheeler’s house? Do I have to be worried?“

„Nope not at all, I promised Dustin to drop him off here since the kids are meeting at Mike’s and he couldn’t carry all his weird radio equipment stuff on his bike.“ „You’re a great mom Steve.“ „Shut up y/n.“

[steebharringt0n]

cat's in the cradle

infant | toddler | child | teenager | young adult

a 5-part story exploring the relationship between billy hargrove and his first-born son, adam

pairing: billy hargrove x you

rating: t

a/n: i’ve been craving softdad!billy for literally weeks, so this happened (and yes this is based off the song cat’s in the cradle) ....

---

part one - infant

Billy Hargrove was a heavy sleeper.

He could sleep through his alarm clock in high school, he could sleep through Neil screaming at him early Saturday mornings to start up his chores, hell, he could probably sleep through a White Snake concert if he wanted to.

But then Adam came along and suddenly Billy could be woken up by a mouse scurrying through his kitchen floor.

The pregnancy wasn’t planned. You both had just left Hawkins and had finally settled on a small apartment and looked over the San Diego coast. Billy was ecstatic to finally be back in California, while you were just ecstatic to be anywhere else but Hawkins. You had plans, dreams of becoming a teacher - the University of California, San Diego would help you achieve those dreams. You had gotten accepted your senior year and it just fueled you and Billy even more to leave Hawkins.

Billy however, didn’t really have much plans. “I’ll figure it out when I get there” he would huff to you after your much constant badgering. 

You would just roll your eyes. You knew he had a knack for cars, so you urged him to look into automotive classes, something where he could use his hands for good - and not for punching assholes who would hit on you.

You weren’t sure when Adam was conceived. Maybe it was in the back of his camero? Maybe it was the night you both christened your new bedroom? Or that time he decided to literally christen every room (”If you think I’m not going to bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck you from behind ... “). Hell, you weren’t sure. But when your aunt flo decided to stop visiting - panic started to set in.

Logically, you thought through this in a poor effort to keep yourself from freaking out.

Maybe it was the stress of the move? Maybe you just overworked yourself too much? 

But when you ran down the street, hair wild and eyes wide, to the nearest pharmacy, and you held the pregnancy box in your trembling hands, you knew.

Call it a motherly instinct, but you knew you were pregnant - and Billy Hargrove’s dick was the reason for it.

You slammed down a ten dollar bill to the cashier and ran back up to your apartment. Billy was out meeting with old friends - you knew he wouldn’t be back for a while. So you were left alone, alone with a pregnancy test with 2 pink strips in your ugly yellow bathroom.

After reading said positive pregnancy test, you proceeded to bond with your toilet, expelling all of your breakfast from earlier in the morning.

There were a couple of things that instantly came into your mind soon after:

1. your dreams of becoming a teacher were effectively put on pause 2. this apartment was not big enough for a baby 3. how the hell were you going to tell Billy?

The thoughts continued to swirl around your head as you continued to bond with your toilet - but you knew the biggest challenged that poised itself to you was telling your mullet haired-anger prone-’I hate kids’ boyfriend who you knew would not be the slightest bit happy that you were carrying his little spawn.

A little Billy. The image of a little boy with dirty blonde curls and a wide smile popped into your mind. Leaning against your bathroom door, your hand instinctively reached down and placed it against your belly. 

Call it another motherly instinct - but you knew it was going to be a boy.

“Hey little guy ... whether your dad loves you or not, I’m going to love you” you spoke softly to the little being inside of you.

Your happy baby thoughts were shattered when you heard Billy walk in through the front door. You glanced at the pregnancy test in your hand - well, it was now or never. Putting on your best brave face, you stood up and stomped right over to him.

He stared at you, his blue eyes wide in surprise as you shoved the pregnancy test in his hand.

“Listen, I know you don’t want kids - hell, I know you hate kids, but this is our baby, my baby, and I’m keeping it”

You ended with a huff, crossing your arms and avoiding his soft gaze. You fully expected him to leave, to pack up his stuff and scram out of here.

But Billy Hargrove is full of never-ending surprises.

“You’re pregnant?” he squeaked out.

You turned to look at him and your expression soften. Your arms fell to your side as you let out an loud exhale from your nose, “Well ... yeah, we’ve fucked like non-stop these last couple of months”

Billy stood quiet.

You stood quiet.

Everything was suddenly quiet.

You continued to stare at him as his eyes never left the pink pregnancy test in his hand.

Fuck he was going to become a father.

“I don’t want to be like Neil” he suddenly blurted out. 

Your shoulders relaxed and you let out a soft sigh. You felt a pang in your heart as he uttered those words. You knew he wouldn’t be like Neil - he had grown so much from the old Billy Hargrove who bullied his way to the top of Hawkins High. He still had his moments but everyday was progress.

You walked over to him and scooped him up in your arms, pressing your head in his chest. He smelt like cigarettes and mints - a familiar scent that comforted you in times of despair.

“You’re never going to be like Neil. You’re going to be a good father, the best. I’ll be with you along the way”

He then proceeded to cup your face and kiss you with so much passion and vigor that you swore that your knees were going to give out.

It wasn’t just you and Billy anymore - it was you, Billy and the baby now.

Plans were suddenly shifted, doctor appointments were suddenly made, and life suddenly turned upside down.

You had decided to defer your acceptance to the University of California. Accepting an office job nearby to start saving up money. Billy started work at the local automotive repair shop. 

The first 20 weeks of your pregnancy were absolutely fantastic. You had the pregnancy glow, and no morning sickness. You were rocking this pregnancy and on top of that, you were horny,

All. The. Time.

You couldn’t keep your hands off of Billy, and he was more happy to help fulfill your needs.

In the shower, in the kitchen, on the couch, on the bed, in the camero, and almost - almost, on the balcony.

At your 20 weeks appointment, your motherly instinct was confirmed. You were indeed having a boy.

A little Billy, and big Billy couldn’t have been any more happier with the news.

Not that he didn’t mind a little girl, someone who looked exactly like you, but he was excited to teach him how to surf, how to fix cars, how to play baseball. Be the father that Neil never was to him.

To say the rest of your pregnancy went smooth sailing was a lie.

Suddenly something went off like a switch in your baby boy and he wouldn’t stop kicking, wouldn’t stop turning, and was giving you so much heartburn you couldn’t eat Mexican food for weeks - and that’s all that you were craving. Your ankles had swollen up, and walking was almost impossible.

“I’m so fat” you sobbed to Billy one night. Your hormones were making you certifiably crazy and all Billy could do was hold you in his arms, peppering kisses all over your head.

“You’re so beautiful, you’re carrying my baby, our baby” he murmured to you, comforting you as best as he could.

Your water broke a couple weeks later and you were laying on the hospital bed, squeezing Billy’s hand so hard that you swore you were going to break it. But he stayed by your side, encouraging you with every push until you both heard the most beautiful scream in the world.

Adam William Hargrove came into this world kicking and screaming, a tuft of dusky blond hair, a set of piercing blue eyes. He looked everything like Billy and nothing like you - not that you minded of course - you knew your bouncing baby boy was going to be a heartbreaker like his father.

You held the little boy in your arms, his arms and legs flailing around as he searched for warmth.

“Hi, hi little guy ... I’m your mom” you cooed to him, your fingers gently combing back his hair.

Billy laid beside you on the hospital bed, holding you in his arms as the both of you gazed down on your little boy in wonder.

10 fingers and 10 toes, he was absolutely perfect. Worth every second of the pregnancy.

2 months later you both settled yourself into a routine with Adam. You’d stay at home while Billy worked, and the afternoons were spent together. Either walking down the boardwalk, heading to the beach, or just hanging inside. The three of you were a little family and every time you saw Billy hold Adam against his chest, you swore your heart was going to explode.

It was one particular night that you could not get Adam to sleep. Relentless, like his father, stubborn, like his mother. It was nearing to be 12 AM and your eyes were begging you to sleep, hell you wouldn’t have mind passing out on the floor but his screams were piercing and you just did not know what to do at this point.

Adam was fed, he was changed, you checked him to see if anything was hurting him.

But nothing, his wailing's still continued.

“C’mon buddy ... what is it? What do you need?” you muttered, gently patting his back as his head laid in the crook of your neck.

Billy suddenly appeared at the door of Adam’s bedroom, leaning his body on the frame of the door. A smirk adorned his face as he watched you in amusement.

“Sleep much?”

“Ha-ha” you deadpanned.

“Here, let me try” he said, walking over and taking Adam from your hands.

“Good luck, I’ve been trying to put him to sleep for the last hour, but if he’s anything like you ... “ you trailed off and he threw you a look.

“I know my son, and I know I can put him to sleep” he teased. You stuck your tongue out at him, wiggling your ass as you waltzed back into your bedroom, throwing yourself to your bed.

“Keep wiggling that ass and Adam will soon have a little brother!” he shouted at you down the hall.

You didn’t answer him as you quickly fell into a deep slumber, finally letting your body dissolve within your bed sheets.

Billy held Adam’s little body with his hand, his other hand cradled his head. He gently rocked him back and forth as his cries still echoed throughout the apartment. An idea suddenly popped into his head, if his son was anything like him, this would instantly put him to sleep.

He walked out into the living room and towards the bookcase that held the millions of records that you and Billy had collected throughout the years of being together. He pulled out Led Zeppelin’s Houses of the Holy, balancing Adam in one hand, and placed it on the record player.

The familiar guitar strum of The Rain Song played quietly throughout the apartment. Billy adjusted Adam in his arms, letting the tiny baby rest his head in his chest as he rocked back and forth to the song, planting small kisses on the top of his head.

But I know that I love you so Oh, but I know That I love you so These are the seasons of emotion And like the wind, they rise and fall

The melody of the song woke you back up - not that you minded, you were curious to see what Billy was up to. All dressed in one of Billy’s button up shirts as your pajamas, you quietly walked over to the living room, peering around the corner as you watched your boyfriend and son sway slowly to the music. You felt tears prick your eyes at the scene unfolding in front of you, it filled your heart with so much love you felt you were about to burst.

Billy glanced up and spotted you, “Well if he’s anything like me, he’d fall asleep to Led Zeppelin ... “ he casually explained. You sauntered over to him, Billy reached his free arm out and pulled you close to him. The both of you slowly swayed together as Adam quietly, and slowly fell asleep on his father’s chest. His eyes fluttering shut as your fingers caressed his chubby cheek.

“See, told ya I could” Billy smirked.

“Keep it up Hargrove and Adam won’t have any siblings” you warned.

Billy let out a chuckle and kissed the top of your head, squeezing you tightly against his body.

Thing didn’t quite necessarily go as the two of you planned, hell things never quite do, but right now, life was as perfect as it could be.

And for right now, that was okay.

[psychefm]

talk to the hand [ TIMOTHEE CHALAMET ], [ REED ‘NEWT’ NEWTON ] is the new kid on the block around here. at [ TWENTY ], the [ CIS BOY] works at [ BABBAGE’S ] in the mall and, like, [ HE ] totally reminds us of [ CHANDLER BING ]. oh snap! what? their favorite movie is [ HOME ALONE ]???? so is mine!

ABOUT THE MUN.  i used to lie to y’all, my mom didn’t say no, i did

i hate this site man. and that’s it, that’s all you gotta know about me. 

BIO. good news!!!! i’ve successfully replaced all my emotions with jokes !!!! tw bullying

reed newton was born in london england to sylvia anne bixby and cornelius otis newton and honestly, he’s regretted it ever since.

newt was an accident. he was the product of one of his mother and father’s first ever lustful encounters, and their subsequent shotgun wedding so honestly they both spent most of newt’s formative years in the honeymoon period. some of newt’s earlier memories are of him walking in on his parents doing the devil’s tango in the broom closet and his nanny rushing to cover his eyes. good times. 

honestly newt walked in on his parents doing the do more times than any kid should have before the age of nine. and then he walked in on a parent doing the do with a non parent. in other words newt got an eyeful of his father and the pool boy and it wasn’t long after that that his parents went through a long and messy divorce. once again, good times. 

his mother decided to pack up their things and move herself and her nine year old very impressionable son to nebraska, because fuck that kid amiright. newt was quickly designated as the skinny weird nerdy kid with glasses and a funny little accent, and so as you can guess he was pretty mercilessly bullied from age nine to eighteen. he really never stood a chance.

i feel like this is a good time to mention that newt’s mother was a sex therapist, which is not the same as a regular therapist but still, therapist is in the name. he should have been able to talk to his parent in this time of strife and get some level of support right? nope. sylvia bixby is well known for writing a men are from mars, women are from venus like book on communication and dating and all that, so his mom was generally on book tour after book tour. but maybe she would have been supportive if she was ever actually around, right? again, nope. 

unbeknownst to newt whenever his mother was around she was not only just casually psycho analyzing her only child for shits and giggles, no, she as also writing about it. newt’s mother wrote an entire book about raising a highly repressed teenage son with newt as the star, and you can only guess what that did for newt’s stellar high social status in high school. nothing great. 

did newt ask her not to publish it once he realized she had wrote it? yes. did she still publish it? also yes. so newt and his mother no longer have the greatest relationship. holidays are awkward.

things were not better on his fathers end, but it wasn’t because his father particularly did anything nearly as tone deaf as his mother. yes, his father was a famous erotica novelist and yes that made newt’s life a living hell, but newt luckily wasn’t the subject of those books. neil transitioned from writing fabio like novels to writing some lgbt fiction which, great for representation, horrible for your teenage son who is now known around school for having a dad who writes porn. to top it off, neil ended up starting a long term relationship with the pool boy and gaining a pseudo step son from it. benjamin caley was not only more athletic than newt, not only more attractive than newt, but also better than newt in every single way imaginable which was a real self esteem booster. his father actively prefers benji and every time newt visits him in england over the summers he comes home hating himself a bit more.

which works out because after the book being published, most people kind of hated newt too so at the very least he was on trend. there was a lot of classic nineties bullying you know, wedgies, swirlies, shoving newt into lockers. all very cliche. newt would tell his bullies as much, but it never really went over that well. 

but then finally newt graduated. he was free from the hell that was the public education system and his childhood household. he graduated with honours, moved out of his mother’s house, and got himself his own apartment with a roommate near the mall where he got his first real job. 

goes to university for software engineering. has an internship at apple that he’s absolutely terrified to mess up. has an old beat up car that was like the first big purchase he ever made with his own money, so he loves it to death even though it’s a piece of shit. 

PERSONALITY.  do you fear me? don’t feel so special now. i have social anxiety. i fear everybody.

this is my first time playing newt so all of this is subject to change BUT

INSECURE. newt is a weird mix of cripplingly insecure and weirdly confident and there is no in between ever.

WITTY.  humour is and always will be the only defense newt has against anything, so he makes a lot of jokes especially when he feels uncomfortable.

EMPATHETIC. newt is a big push over when it comes to emotions like he would never do anything to hurt someone unless it was by accident or he was provoked or you’re his step brother benji or either of his parents in which case he will run you over with his car on sight. but no really, if newt is in a position where he has to hurt somebody he will do absolutely everything in his power to either not or avoid the situation completely. 

AWKWARD. sometimes honestly, although it depends on the day. v clumsy though. usually he can try to make his awkwardness funny but does he always succeed? the answer is no. 

HEADCANNONS.  actually all of my systems are nervous.

has to drink like six cups of coffee or tea a day. very serious about his tea because english. also has vegemite on his toast. 

can actually cook pretty well even though he prefers to eat takeout. cooks because it’s cheaper and he’s a broke ass student yk. won’t take money from his parents ever, and will straight up give it away if it’s forced upon him. 

writes star trek fanfic for fun and has a kind of weird relationship with writing because of his parents honestly?? but he enjoys it so, maybe the apple in fact does not fall from the tree. 

has commitment issues because of his parents divorce but don’t we all. 

developed a stutter after all the divorce drama because he thought it was his fault. he later had to see a speech therapist. his mother later had a fwb relationship with this same speech therapist. newt wanted to die. 

traded his glasses for contacts and you will literally only see newt in glasses if he rips or loses his contacts or if he’s at home. 

in love with all things sci fi, will rent and see every sci movie ever made if he can 

accidentally knocks down at least one display in babbages per day so there’s that.

speaking of newt runs a small side gig out of babbages where he fixes up tech because paying for university, rent, and car insurance out of pocket gets up there. so if you need someone to fix your desktop newt is your guy. 

is actually a pretty good flirt when he’s drunk or feels comfortable. is constantly teetering between painfully insecure and confident. 

is very bi and very hesitant about it because of his father and all his feelings towards that, but he will eventually stop fighting it so much soon hopefully. has probably had a few drunken hookups with guys but tries to convince himself that is just a drunk thing yk. 

is allergic to bees so death has a kiss just for him i guess. 

loves video games but that goes without saying

has anxiety and takes medication for it, one of the few healthy things his mother has ever done for him. 

speaking of his mother if newt ever sees her book about him in a book display he will spend as much time as needed taking each book and hiding them in obscure places so that no one will ever be able to find them and buy them. he read the whole thing because he had to know and yep he absolutely hates it. 

goes by newt and only newt so that no one can make the connection between him and his mother or his father upon first meeting him or hopefully ever. a lot of the kids he went to high school with still know though and with the accent and everything, he’s not fooling anyone who has at least heard a rumour 

idk what else y’all imma fite tumblr for making me write this twice

WANTED CONNECTIONS.  actually wait, i take that self deprecation back, i’m great.

ROOMMATE. because newt can’t afford his place on his own between all his expenses. please. think of the shenanigans. 

ON AGAIN OFF AGAIN THING. kind of inspired by chandler and janice tbh. these two are pretty incompatible and whenever they’re together all they talk about is breaking up with each other but whenever they’re broken up and they see each other they somehow always find themselves waking up in bed together the next morning. it’s a mess.

NERD SQUAD. give me newt’s friends from high school please and thanks. just a crew of absolutely dweebs and misfits. 

FWB/EWB. self explanatory considering newt’s big commitment issues but i just imagine like making out in the back room and like hooking up in the break room and someone leaving like a damning article of clothing in there and the two of them scrambling to get it before anyone notices. just fun. 

EX. self explanatory but yes, an ex gf or bf, an ex fwb or ewb, give me all the exes please. 

REPEAT CUSTOMER. this person is always paying newt to come fix their computer and other tech and newt just doesn’t understand how they mess it up so badly. like he doesn’t get how or why technology hates them as much as it does, but he’ll take the money.

HATESHIP. just good old fashion animosity. could be hate from school or the fresh hate upon working in the mall together or they can just be newt’s least favourite customer and he can hate them for that. 

CRUSH. maybe newt had a crush on them in school. maybe they had a crush on newt in school. maybe newt has a crush on them now. maybe they have a crush on newt now. 

and anything else tbh. i’d love a smoking buddy for newt, a friend who he can never get any work done around like when they’re together they’re just like !!!, someone who used to be one of the popular kids who he is now getting along with or still holding a grudge against, his big gay awakening in school maybe like the first masc person he had a crush on, someone who tries to get newt to party and come out of his shell, someone who idk steals from babbages skjsdj idk man i am open to anything at all so just like this and we can brain storm if anything!

[carol-effing-danvers]

where we grew up

this is part two of the series “run long, roam far, return soon” part one: “knock me the fuck out (i dare ya, babe)” (cont.) (fin.) part three: “push me, pull you” 

(click here if you’d prefer to read this in AO3′s format)

Steve assures her that he’s done all the right things, followed all the right procedures. He’s calm, he looks…not relaxed because no one could possibly be relaxed in this situation, but he looks like someone who is collected and has control of the situation.

But Robin knows him, and she can see in his eyes that some piece of him has quietly died – maybe not forever, but this day has wounded him deeply.

So, she tells him he’s got this and when their lunchbreak is over, she goes back to the high school building and immediately goes to the main office. Impatiently, she dials and waits for someone to answer, anxiously hugging herself with one arm.

“This is the 11th Hour,” El answers in her best ‘customer service’ voice. “I’m Jane. How can I help you today?”

“I need you…” Robin sighs, closes her eyes, and puts a hand over her face. “Is Hargrove there with you?”

“Yeah, Robbie, hold on.”

There’s a clattering in the background before Billy’s gruff tone says “Buckley. What’s up?”

“You…you need to pick up Steve from work, today.”

“Car break down? Didn’t sound like it was in bad shape, last I heard,” Billy observes cautiously.

“No, Billy,” she says with quiet pain. “He’s-he might be there late. But he’s going to need you, when it’s finished.”

“Okay, Rob, you need to back up here. What’s going on?”

“Steve had to call CPS, Billy,” she whispers, “One of his kids came in with belt marks all over him, and while the school nurse was looking him over, Steve brought his older sister up and started asking her some questions, and he and the nurse realized very quickly that someone has been beating her around, too.”

Billy’s stomach drops. “But they’re-they’re five year olds,” he says numbly. “Little kindergarteners…”

“Yeah.” It’s amazing how much pain and anguish can be packed into a single word. “They are.”

He is, at this very moment, imagining anyone attempting to do that to his sweet little Lulu and the blind fury that left him for so long suddenly comes back with a fiery vengeance. “What kind of monster beats a five year old with a belt?!”

But the thing is…he-he knows. He was raised by that same kind of monster – Neil Hargrove absolutely beat Billy with a belt, more than once throughout his childhood.  He has no idea how Robin is managing her side of this conversation so calmly.

“Their mom is an addict, and it seems she doesn’t pay a whole lot of attention to how her boyfriend treats her kids. Steve mentioned a couple of times throughout the year that he’d noticed both of them looking a little…unkept, but Rosie is a single mom and times are hard, so he gave her the benefit of a doubt,” Robin says grimly. “Turns out, they were looking unkept because the sister was the one trying to do the laundry and making sure they both got a bath and she wasn’t always so great at it. Not surprising, since she’s only nine.”

Swallowing past the sick feeling in his guts, Billy asks “Okay, so what do you need me to do?”

“I need you to be there when he lets himself freak out. He was acting super calm when I saw him because he has to finish class and wait with them until CPS can contact their aunt, but I’ve known him for a decade – the moment a child doesn’t need him, he’s gonna fucking lose it, Hargrove, and I know you’re the person he wants the most right now.”

Billy’s eyes go wide. “I’ll be there.”

“I know.”

Even with Robin's helpful warning, Billy doesn't really know what to expect when he walks down the Grade K hall. There are no children left in the classrooms here - school let out twenty minutes ago and these kids are too little for extracurricular activities.

He is expecting what he sees in Steve’s classroom least of all.

Steve and the other kindergarten teacher, Melanie Dohr, have rooms that mirror each other – boxy spaces slightly wider than they are long, with a doorway at one end that faces the children’s cubby stations, except that Melanie’s desk and chairs are to the left of the classroom door and Steve’s are to the right. At the very end of this room is a little sofa and an open space where they do story time and nap time and when he leans his head in to check on Steve, this is where he is sitting.

Squished right up against him on that sofa is a little girl with brown hair in two long braids. She’s a little girl, but she’s still too old to be someone Steve teaches. As Steve reads aloud, one arm around her, she listens intently as she leans into his side, a tissue clutched in her fist that she holds near her mouth as she silently cries. She’s heartbreaking and what’s worse – Billy actually recognizes her.

“Something that for lack of any other name might be called friendship existed and always had existed between Marilla Cuthbert and Mrs. Rachel, in spite of – or perhaps because of – their dissimilarity...”

This is Marcy Roberts, Martin’s big sister. He’s seen her many times, because Marcy walks her brother down to the kindergarten hall every morning before she goes back to Mrs. Webster in the third grade hall.

On their very first date, Billy had overheard Steve having a talk with Martin outside the classroom when he hit a classmate who called him names, and it reminded Billy so vividly of himself it was nearly painful. Of course Martin was the boy who’d taken a beating with a belt. He didn’t know why he hadn’t guessed it was Martin in the first place.

Silently, Billy makes his way into the room – he knows when Marcy spots him, because the fourth-grader immediately becomes tenser and tries to shrink into Steve’s side, her big blue eyes watching him wearily. Steve’s arm tightens around her, eyes briefly flicking upward before he serenely continues with his reading.

Old Billy would’ve been furious that Steve was deliberately choosing to ignore him – Old Billy was furious when Steve ignored him. New Billy slowly crept his way around to Steve’s desk while being watched by a little girl, settling back into the teacher’s chair and trying to look as innocent and nonthreatening as possible.

He wouldn’t consider himself a natural with kids, not like Steve was, and he’s definitely never had to interact with a child whose been treated…well, the way he’d been treated, he supposed. Lulu has never been afraid of him, but she also doesn’t really know any better. Uncle Billy is Uncle Billy, and he’s always been Uncle Billy in her eyes. And Justin is a worthless father, but he’s never actively tried to cause his daughter physical pain or mental anguish – though his complete disregard for her existence could hardly be called any better.

Steve is beloved by all of his students, of course, but for Marcy, he may literally be the only adult that she trusts. Marcy and Martin need him and that will hold his entire focus until they can be settled.

For a while, Billy wonders what happened to Martin, and then realizes that he probably had to stay in the nurse’s office. He knows from hard experience that sitting was likely painful and difficult at the moment if Martin got the belt. With any luck, the nurse has given him a light sedative, something to put him to sleep or even just make him a little more comfortable.

When Marcy’s focus is no longer dedicated to waiting for Billy to suddenly attack her, he takes the time to really look at her. Has she always been so small and thin? Is he only really noticing this now because he has some idea of what her home life is like? There’s a wrapping of gauze around her right forearm hinting that Marcy didn’t entirely escape the mercies laid upon Martin. Her hair – brown to her younger brother’s toe-headed blonde – is looking a bit unkempt and her clothes aren’t dirty but they are also certainly not new and Billy knows he wouldn’t have noticed any of this if Robin hadn’t already told him that their mother has been neglecting them.

But Steve had noticed.

Steve has been noticing, maybe the entire year, probably watching with helpless dismay as Marcy and Martin’s condition deteriorated right before his eyes as their home situation got more and more unhappy. Billy wonders what finally led him to the proof he needed to get CPS involved.

In hindsight, Billy now realizes that more than one of his own teachers had tried to get him to open up to them about the way Neil treated him at home, but he had been a scared and angry child and in early childhood, he hadn’t understood what they were asking for. And later on, he hadn’t trusted any adult enough to do that, until he’d become a sullen and violent teenager that everybody wanted to write off instead of an energetic and overeager child.

Marcy is still half hiding against Steve’s side, listening to him read – or maybe just letting the sound of his voice wash over her the way Billy is doing. Her hand is up near her face, fingers reflexively curling but she doesn’t actually put any of her fingers in her mouth. It’s not normal, is it, for a nine year old to still have the urge to suck her thumb?  

He loses track of time, letting the murmur of Steve’s voice soothe him into something like a doze, though his eyes are still open, when there is suddenly a knock on the classroom doorframe. A slim blonde woman with a briefcase wearing a navy blue pantsuit stood in the hall, standing beside a brunette woman with her hair cut into a short bob. “Hello, you must be Marcy!” the blonde says, just a little too bright to be entirely natural. “I’m Mrs. Rhodes, but you can call me Vicki.”

“Uh…okay,” Marcy says nervously, still glued to Steve’s side.

Steve gives Vicki a very charming smile – though now that Billy knows him so well, he can see that it’s a bit insincere. “Can I talk to Marcy for a just a second? Nurse Downing’s office is just down the hall and to the right if you’d like to check in on Martin. He might still be asleep, though.”

“Alright!” Vicki said, though the brunette looked like thrilled about this, she followed her back down the hall to the nurse’s office.

As soon as the woman’s footsteps had dwindled down the hall, Steve gave Marcy the worn down copy of Anne of Green Gables. “Keep that with you,” he tells her quietly. “It has my address and phone number inside. I think your Aunt Rachel will take good care of you, but if someone hurts you again, if you don’t feel safe, or if you just want to talk to me, call me, okay? Even if it’s really late at night, even if it’s not a school day, even if it’s the middle of summer, alright, Marcy? Any time you want to talk to me, call me. Alright?”

“Okay.” Marcy repeats, louder this time but with a wobble in her chin. She clutches the book to her chest like a shield, fingers tightening on the spine now that she knew the truth of its importance.

She surged forward, embracing Steve desperately, which he returns before plucking up her faded purple bookbag. “Let’s go find Mrs. Rhodes and Aunt Rachel. We’ll see how Martin is doing.”

---

The hand off was just as hard as he knew it would be. Martin was emotional and weepy, throwing something like tantrum – or Steve would’ve called it a tantrum if he didn’t know how scared and confused and traumatized he was – but Helen handled it pretty well and managed to calm him down. Marcy practically had a panic attack as they were leaving but Steve could almost see her reminding herself to be the responsible big sister.

Fuck.

Steve has to remind himself for the hundredth time that the state won’t let a single man with his history and his salary have one child, never mind two. No matter how much he loves them. No matter how torn up he is to watch them leave.

Rachel will do a good job, he tells himself firmly. Truthfully, Rachel couldn’t do much worse to them then her younger sister already had. Even after his gentle question of Marcy – something Vicki and Rachel will probably follow up on in more depth later – Steve isn’t exactly sure when Rosie checked out on her job as a mother. What little Marcy had admitted to, beyond the evidence directly on her and Martin’s bodies, left him believing that the real problem had been that Rosie was never checked in.

Rachel had looked unhappy with the development of this whole situation – unhappy, but not at all surprised. Steve thinks that maybe Rachel has long harbored some suspicions of her own.

Steve walks back to his classroom like a sleepwalker. He feels drained, like some kind of vampire has been sucking on his neck all afternoon.

Billy leaning against a corner of the hall, waiting for Steve to return. His eyes, so stark and vividly blue, remind him painfully of Martin and Marcy. Reminds him of a hospital bed, and a monster made of a mountain of corpses and carnage. Reminds him of the way Billy had looked against the starched white linens, and how for the longest time, that was the last image Steve ever had of him.

Deep in himself, he feels sick down to his soul. With time and practice, he’s gotten the hang of dealing with other people’s pain, but Steve has never quite gotten the knack of looking directly at his own. His voice crawls from his throat, falsely bright and without any warmth. “Picked a wild time to surprise me.”

“Wasn’t a surprise,” Billy grunted, watching him closely. The way he always seemed to be watching him. The way, Steve now realizes, the way Billy literally always had watched him. “Buckley asked me to take you back home.”

“I don’t know why,” Steve says, frowning at his desk as he idly tidies up before reaching to shut the lights off. “You don’t have to. I can drive, it’s not like I’m impaired or something.”  

“Humor me,” Billy replies shortly, in a way that tells Steve he won’t be taking ‘no’ for an answer. Not that he ever really takes ‘no’ for an answer. Steve finds it both aggravating and charming, and he knows that combination is going to get him into some serious trouble one day.

Steve shrugs, though even that’s half-hearted. “Fine, I guess.”

Maybe Billy and Robin are right – he doesn’t really remember the drive back to his apartment and he’s sure that he opened the door at some point, but Steve finds himself in the kitchen, just…staring at the cabinets, and he can’t quite recall how he got here. Standing there, with no Billy in sight.

“Billy?!” His voice cracks, his voice going shrill with the same panic that’s making his palms sweat.

“What, what’s wrong?!” Billy shouts from the bedroom. His bedroom. Their bedroom? “Stevie?”

“I-nothing.” Relief suddenly makes his legs so weak that he nearly just collapses right down to the ugly linoleum floor. “Nothing!”

Come back. Come back and hold me and don’t leave me – not now and not ever. Tell you love me and tell me you’re okay. Tell me everything is gonna be okay.

Steve slid down the side of fridge and on to the floor, breathing deeply in and out.

Back when they first began living together, Robin had very quickly caught on to the fact that sometimes Steve was…not okay, so she made him get some time with an anxiety specialist – paid for by the US government, because part of the cause of this condition was a secret interdimensional hole under the town that occasionally produced violent alien entities that killed and ate people, which Steve and Robin were both not allowed to talk about with the outside world. They taught him breathing exercises, meditation techniques for moments like this one.

When he can get his legs beneath him again, Steve hauls himself off of the ground and searches around for the cast iron skillet. They have the ingredients for cornbread around here somewhere.

It will probably still taste like sawdust to him, but the activity will occupy his mind, at least for a little while.

He feels bad that he can’t pretend cheerfulness, even to Billy. Beyond the aching numbness that has penetrated into his very bones, Steve’s anxiety is shrieking at him, telling him that if he keeps acting this way, Billy will leave. A voice in his head that sounds like Robin warns him that his inability to give a shit about even that isn’t a good sign.

They eat dinner, and Steve tries to answer like a normal person would, but he can tell by the way Billy doesn’t quite meet his eyes that he’s not doing a good job. A much less helpful and comforting voice – one that sounds more like his mother or his father – tells him not to be so sensitive. To stop overreacting.

That other voice, his Robin/common sense/better angel voice, won’t shut up. Won’t leave him alone. Tell him. If you don’t tell him, you’re always gonna feel like shit about this. Tell him, dingus.

In the end, it’s Billy himself that breaks that final barrier on his silence.

---

Billy knows how to solve this – or at least he knew how Henry solved this when he found Billy wandering around fucking Silver Lake in the rain. But he doesn’t really want to put Steve in a bath of ice cold water and pour whiskey down his throat until he gags. Lost white boy. Hey, lost white boy! Why you walkin’ round lookin’ like somebody whipped yo dog? Huh?

He never did give him a real answer. What could he have possibly said?

Part of the problem is that if Billy didn’t know him so well, Steve would seem almost normal. But he seems a little extra vacant throughout dinner, while watching television, even while brushing his teeth. Like somebody replaced his boyfriend with a friggin’ Stepford Wife or something.

As gently as he can, Billy removes the remote from Steve’s nearly limp fingers. Steve barely blinks at him – though it would usually garner at least an indignant squawk from him. He tries to think of a way to say it diplomatically. Fail, because he’s Billy Hargrove and he has no diplomacy – and says: “Are you going to talk to me about this or do I have to torture it out of you?”

He’s entirely joking, but Billy flinches when Steve absently replies, “I doubt you’ll have any better luck than the Russians,” blinks, and then says: “What?”

Swallowing down his queasiness – Max has passionately defended Steve’s bravery at Starcourt before he ever even returned to Hawkins – he sweeps back the bangs hanging into his eyes. “Your kids,” he says, still clumsily attempting gentleness. “Do you want to talk about that? What happened?”

Steve smiles weakly, giving Billy a hug that held maybe a tenth of the strength he normally possesses. “No,” he whispers, face hidden away against Billy’s neck. “No, I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Billy swallows again, wondering why he feels so disappointed. He doesn’t really want to hear the grisly details – he’s probably got firsthand knowledge of most of it already – but at the same time, it feels like part of Steve doesn’t fully trust him. Though that idea should sound ridiculous, an insecure part of himself – mostly the part that still remembers his dad calling him a fuck-up all the time – wonder if Steve is actually as serious about them as Billy is.

Because Billy is like…insanely serious about them. A hundred times more serious than a heart attack, serious.

If a single pastor in Indiana woulda let him, Billy would put a ring on the long white second finger of Steve’s left hand tomorrow. That’s how serious he is. They’ve been together less than a month, but a part of him has belonged to Steve, with Steve, for more than ten years now.

Beyond even his own paranoia and insecurity though, is just…plain old worry.

He’s pretty much always known that Steve has a heart of hold, but it’s starting to look like maybe this day has hammered it to pieces. He watches Steve brush his teeth mechanically, unaccompanied by any of his usual chatter, moving like someone twice their age.

At bedtime, they usually trade off being the big spoon and little spoon, but this time, Billy stays facing Steve, gently strokes his cheek. A part of him feels a flair of love and hope when Steve leans into the touch. “Take it easy, heartbreaker,” he whispers, sweeping back Steve’s bangs again. “I’ve got your back tonight.”

The streetlights outside spread across their bed in a warm orange glow, allowing Billy to watch Steve blinking in a heartsick daze. Faintly, Billy hears him say “He was just crying. Just crying the whole morning, and I couldn’t understand why. By the time I took him to the nurse’s office, I-I think I already knew.”

Steve is the one crying now – crying and hangin’ on to Billy like he’ll disappear.

Billy’s just stunned, stunned and heartbroken by how utterly devastating this has been for Steve. He’s speechless, and the only thing he can do is hang on and be here for him. So he does.

---

The next morning is one in which Steve is allowed to sleep in, both because it’s Saturday and also because it seems that Billy has already gotten up to feed Angie for him. Normally she wakes him up whether his alarm goes off or not. He felt the mattress move just before dawn, but Billy is in bed with him now, wrapped around Steve’s back. He’s got a lowkey headache from all the crying – or trying not to cry – that he did yesterday, but he feels calmer about the world today. Marcy and Martin are safe, and Rachel will make sure they stay that way. Billy is here.

Relaxing back into the pillows, Steve finds Billy’s hand resting against his belly and laces their fingers together. He can tell that he’s already awake – his fingers squeeze back at his own too readily.

“I thought about you,” he admits quietly, tracing over Billy’s knuckles – rougher than his own, belonging to fingers shorter and thicker than his own. “The head nurse probably thought that I was going crazy. He was just…staring at me, on the bed. And I kept thinking about the last time I’d seen you before you left town.”

“What happened to me…it’s all in the past,” Billy says simply, and the ways his arms tighten around Steve’s body is comforting but the words don’t soothe him.

It’s all in the past.

But it wasn’t. Not for Steve.

“I use to wonder where you were,” he whispers, lifting Billy’s fingers to trace his lips over the scars on those knuckles. “No…not wonder. I use to worry. About you – where you were, what had happened to you.”

And now that the words had were finally coming out, Steve couldn’t hold anything back. “I’d worry myself sick, because the last two times I’d seen you-” He chokes, surprised anew that even with Billy right beside him, those images held just as much power over him as they had before. “-the last times I’d seen you, you were dying or you were-you looked so hurt and lost…”

“I’d wonder if you were even still alive – were you okay? I used to have these-these really vivid night terrors about that night in the mall…” He closes his eyes and swallows past the hard lump sitting in his throat. “Robin made me see a doctor, it got so bad – she didn’t know the specifics, but she did know that it wasn’t getting better.”

And for ten years, he hadn’t been able to say the name of his crush out loud, like there was a terrible curse placed on Steve. He laughs weakly. “I-I remember nearly fainting when El sad she’d seen you at Max’s wedding, and you looked well. You were happier. Calmer. It seemed so silly after that – though I still wondered what happened to you.”

“That’s not silly at all,” Billy murmurs, and he sounds thought, squeezing Steve around the middle and warming him right through. “Was I okay? I wasn’t. Not for what felt like a long, long time.”

To Steve’s surprise, Billy hooks his chin over Steve’s shoulder and continues speaking. “After I tried going back to my mom’s – I was kinda homeless. I mean, I had the truck, but I’d just got out of the hospital and I could barely sleep for more than an hour or two at a time and every little noise made me wanna crawl outta my skin. I didn’t really notice much back then, but I’m sure anybody who walked down the street crossed to the opposite side when they saw me coming toward them.”

“This guy – this random black dude named Henry found me walking around Silver Lake, just wandering around by myself in the rain. I’m still surprised nobody called the cops on me. Anyway, Henry took me back to his apartment, poured whiskey in me until I gagged and threw a bucket of ice water over my head.” Billy chuckles slightly. “Miguel was so mad at him for that.”

“Miguel?” Steve repeats in a whisper, terrified that Billy will stop talking.

“Yeah, Henry’s boyfriend, Miguel. He was a nurse. I called them Harold and Maude just because it drove him crazy. They, um,” Billy took a deep breath in, held it, then exhaled hot air down Steve’s neck. He shivers and Billy cuddles closer, Steve’s heart thump, thump, thumping for him. “They were part of the group of volunteers who like…took care of people with AIDS. A lot of their families just kind of…abandoned them.”

Thrown them away, Steve thought, heart sinking. Just like Billy’s mother had (repeatedly) done to him.

Quietly, Billy says “For my first couple years, that’s what I was doing. Helping Henry and Miguel and the other volunteers. Looking back on it, they probably thought I’d lost someone to it. Most of us had, it seemed to be everywhere.”

He’s silent for so long that maybe Steve thinks that this is it, these tantalizing hints are all he will get of Billy’s past for right now, and Steve continues obviously stroking at his knuckles. He aches at the idea of Billy, still injured and hurting from the rejection of his mother, wandering through California all alone, until a good Samaritan was kind enough to take care of him.

Then Billy says, “Sometimes, I wished…I wished that had it.”

And Steve can’t breathe, he can’t move, he can’t think. With five short words, Billy had wrecked his whole thinking brain. “You…that you had…”

“Yeah,” Billy says, very softly. “I didn’t want to die, I didn’t even want to be sick. But HIV was a concept Henry and Miguel would’ve known how to understand. I know that they saw the bandages, that first night, and the scars later on. I think I spent the first year there wishing that I were sick instead, just so that I would be able to tell someone what had happened to me.”

Steve can’t stand doing this without seeing Billy anymore and rolls to face him. “You shouldn’t have had to do that by yourself,” he says, nose trailing down Billy’s neck. “Nobody should have to do something like that by themselves.”

Willing his anxious stomach to settle, he adds “I hate that you went through that and that you were in such obvious pain that a literal stranger could see it. I hate that it took meeting two complete strangers for someone to finally care about when you were hurting. But more than anything, I hate that I wasn’t there for you when you needed someone.”

Billy’s freckles show in the morning sun, and the light makes his eyes bluer. He leans into the touch as Steve holds his cheeks in both palms. And what he says next makes Steve love him just that little bit more: “Maybe not. But I used to be a little boy, just like Martin Roberts. And you were there when he needed you, when Marcy needed you.” Softly, painfully gently, Billy kisses his mouth. “Because of you, Martin doesn’t have to grow up into me someday.”

Steve caresses down Billy’s cheeks with his thumbs, palms tickled by all the bristle. He whispers, “I don’t see growing into you as a bad thing, Billy.”

Billy huffs out a laugh, long eyelashes falling to his cheeks. Just the lightest of flushes touching the tips of his ears. “You were there, y’know.”

“Hm?” Steve murmurs dreamily, caught in the spell of those freckles and lashes.

“Every pair of big brown eyes were your eyes. Every lanky brunette with a sweet smile was you. I saw you everywhere I went. Trust me, even if you didn’t know it – you were there, heartbreaker.” His eyes devour Steve’s face, gaze lingering at the curve of his lips. “You're here with me right now."

When Steve cuddles closer, he rests his head right above the scars that mark the place where the Mindflayer pierced his chest. He has never been more owned, more possessed by anything than the feeling of his bare hand on Billy's chest. "Wild horses couldn't drag me off."

[shutupandshipit]

Magic in the Blood - Ch.3

Summary: “You used magic on me,” Neil said, mildly accusing. He opened his eyes, staring into the glowing honey gold of Andrew’s eyes.

“Don’t I always?”

Instead of answering, Neil asked, “Yes or no?” because his hands were aching to run along Andrew’s skin, up his toned thighs, to tug him down over him. …..

Or where everything is the same, but magic exists. The school year is over, there’s no more practices until mid-summer and for the first time, Neil can spend his time the way he wants. Without suppressants muddling his system and Andrew sober, they’ve got magical and logistical issues to work through.

And then there’s the new Foxes when they show which is a whole other magical nightmare of itself.

Pairing: Andreil

Rating: T

Previous <- Chapter 2

Chapter 4 -> Next

Chapter 3: Taconic State Park, New York Part 1

Neil:

“Where are we going?” Andrew asked, reaching for the radio and adjusting the volume so Neil wouldn't have to shout over the music.

Neil and Andrew hadn't made any plans before they'd left Fox Tower that afternoon, leaving Kevin, Nicky and Aaron to their empty rooms waiting to be picked up by Abby. The Upperclassmen had been smart enough to book it out of the dorms as soon as they had the chance, and they'd followed their leads. They left without saying anything to the others, simply throwing their belongings into the Maserati and leaving. They didn't need to be back for another two weeks when Aaron's trial started, and Andrew's protection was no longer needed with Riko dead.

Even now, hours later, Neil's phone was still vibrating insistently with Nicky's texts. 'Where did you guys go?' 'Where are you going?' 'You can't ignore me forever'. 'Whatever. Have fun, nerds <3'. 'Don't do anything I wouldn't do :P'.

Reaching into the door side pocket, he finally turned off his phone. He'd talk to Nicky later. Maybe.

“We're going camping,” Neil said simply, rummaging through the glove compartment for the map of the East Coast and brochure he'd picked up. He'd made the decision when they'd stopped just after the house in Columbia, talking to the woman at the register and then Matt about places in New York. He turned the brochure towards Andrew.

Andrew glanced at the picture and quickly away, changing lanes before looking back. “Where is that and why there?”

“New York. Matt's mom wanted to meet us, so this is going to be two birds with one stone.” He shoved the map and brochure back in the glove compartment. “Don't make that face. Matt all but begged me. This will be a road trip. The place is called Taconic State Park. It looks cool, and there's not going to be a lot of people there so we'll be able to let our magic do what it needs to. Also, it says there's a waterfall. Matt pretty much made it a requirement for us to go.”

“And when did you start listening to what Matt says?” Andrew asked, schooling his face from the mild look of disgust back to his usual blankness. “You don't know how to lay low, do you? This is exactly how you got caught last time.”

“I got caught because some murderous psychopath outed me,” Neil corrected, rolling his eyes.

Andrew cut him a sidelong look. “No, you got caught because you decided to mouth off to a murderous psychopath and make him look incompetent multiple times who then decided to out you.”

“I would never,” he said, mock seriously.

“I have video evidence.”

“Lies.”

Banter with Andrew was easy, the easiest part about being with Andrew if he were to be honest. Unlike when they were intimate and they're magics intertwined as if fighting, they tangled and settled between them in a comfortable jumble instead. When they bantered, they didn't need to worry about how their magic was interacting, if their magical union would become toxic or burn out in their emotions or knock out a cell tower.

“I wouldn't lie to you.” There was a lilt of mirth to Andrew's voice, but underneath, there was also the tang of seriousness.

Sobering, Neil smiled over at him and held out his hand. “I know that.”

Glancing over, Andrew took Neil's hand without comment, threading their fingers together as lightning sparked between their palms.

Neil was unreasonably happy as he tried to school his expression. “We're going to have to stop for water and food.”

“Oh, so you weren't planning on hunting and scavenging for food? What's the point of camping then? Do you have any of this planned out at all?”

“Some of it that I've figured out since the gas station.” Neil shrugged. “Mostly, I'm hoping for us to get lost and dies out in the woods. It'd make what's left of my father's syndicate happy.”

“They'll have to try harder than that if they think I'll let you die by accident.”

Andrew:

Before knowing where they were going anywhere in particular, the first stop the pair had made had been at the house in Columbia. Perhaps due to some feral instinct, Neil had spent the time collecting blankets and other useful items for life on the run, shoving them into the trunk without much thought.

Andrew left him to his hording, disappearing into the how to collect the few pre-made sachets he had and jars of honey and animal blood he had in his closet. He'd shoved them into a small bag he had, packing sweaters and shirts around the fragile glass. They'd met back down at the car, climbing in without discussion.

They stopped again nearly eight hours later at a twenty-four hour all sale store and bought a small tent, sleeping bags, chairs and enough non-perishables and water to last them several days. When they climbed back into the car, Neil behind the wheel, it was nearly midnight.

They'd been up for more than eighteen hours, and they sat in exhausted silence for several long moments. The want to finally get to where they were going and the need for sleep hung unspoken between them.

“I'm tired,” Neil finally admitted, “And even if we get there, I don't think the registration office will be open.”

Andrew hummed, but didn't say anything, his eyes itchy with fatigue. While the silent need to finish the drive sat heavy in his chest, he also knew there was no need to continue on. They were on summer break. There was no reason to rush anywhere.

Of course, there were spells they could cast to combat exhaustion and caffeine just a drive-thru away, but neither of them had the energy or ingredients for a spell, and caffeine did strange things to their magic when they were so tired. Caffeine made their magic unreliable and uncooperative, made it more like to explode at inopportune times.

“Hotel,” Andrew decided.

“Thank god,” Neil whispered.

They found a cheap motel ten minutes up the road, and fell into the queen sized bed as soon as the door was locked and bolted behind them. Neil toed off his shoes while face down in a pillow, groaning all the while, before curling into the smallest ball possible against Andrew's back. He pressed his forehead to the space between Andrew's shoulder blades and fell asleep. Within a moment, his breath had evened out and his magic filtered through the air.

Andrew lay there for longer, listening to Neil's breathing. Rain began to patter softly against the roof. His magic reacted to Neil's sleep accordingly, snaking out gently from his body to wrap protectively around Neil and cocooning them in a bubble of protection. The sachet in his pocket warmed, adding strength to the walls he so easily built.

He slipped into sleep with the warmth of his own magic and the sounds of Neil and his rain surrounding him.

…..

Andrew woke in the early morning to Neil rolling away from him and pushing into the bathroom. He turned onto his back to stare at the ceiling and listen to Neil puke his guts out. The shower roared to life before Andrew followed him into the bathroom.

“You can come in,” Neil said as the door opened, “I didn't mean to wake you up.”

Closing and locking the door behind him, Andrew pulled off his clothes one piece at a time. He hesitated with his briefs before slipping them off. Normally, he wouldn't get naked even with Neil, but it was early in the morning and he could feel the lag in Neil's magic. He was craving skin to skin contact, and he had to wonder if Nicky was behind that. It wouldn't be the first time he'd cast on Andrew, on accident and just to see if it would work if he did, but it would be the first time Andrew hadn't felt the spell hit.

“Magic in the area?” he asked even though he knew that wasn't the answer, stepping under the spray where Neil stood with his head bowed.

Neil's breath came quickly, and he swallowed harshly. His voice was thick as if he were trying not to vomit again as he said, “Someone tried to cast on me. Tasted like tracking. God, I feel nauseous.”

Andrew's protection magic had at least done its job, but he thought they'd managed this part of someone casting on Neil. His spells must have been fading. “Yes or no?” he asked, sliding his fingers together to prep his magic.

“I don't want you to take this. It feels... wrong. Different than usual.”

Andrew stood a hair's breadth away, waiting as Neil leaned forward with a hand on the wall and wretched. “They're probably using someone stronger or a different spell.”

Bile splattered against the tub floor. Neil nearly whined as he said, “They're trying again. Where did they get so much of my hair?”

“Probably Fox Tower. Or the court. They might be using your blood.”

He heaved again. “Fuck 'em.”

“Neil-”

“Yes. It's a yes.”

Andrew pressed his parted lips to the back of Neil's bowed neck, licking at the knob at the top of his spin and biting down. Acrid smoke filled his mouth as he inhaled Neil's tainted magic, and exhaled clean magic back into him. Without the help of his conduits and herbs, the process took longer than normal, hurt more, tasted worse. While he worked, he drew invisible sigils across Neil's back, pressing them into his skin with just the warmth of his palm before moving on.

When he finally pulled back, a bruise was forming on the back of Neil's neck in the arc of his teeth and the vaguest impressions of his sigils lightened Neil's skin. “This is temporary. I need to refresh your spells.” His mouth tasted like ash, and he spit at the floor several times.

Neil turned to face him, looking tired and rung out. His magic barely flickered in the air around him, grey and dull. “I can take care of myself. You don't-”

“I'm going to anyway,” Andrew cut in before he could finish his sentence. The last time he'd fully revoked his protective spells on Neil, he'd gotten kidnapped almost immediately by his father's people and come back looking like someone had used him as an ashtray. He wasn't about to let that happen again.

“I'd kiss you if I hadn't just puked.”

“Brush your teeth while I get my bag, and we'll talk about it.” Andrew shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and heading to get his bag.

Neil followed more slowly after him, towels wrapped tightly around his waist and shoulders, to rummage through his bag. He stood at the sink, scrubbing roughly at his teeth and tongue.

Andrew watched him closely from the bathroom as he sat on the edge of the bath and set out his supplies. He pulled out the small mortar and pestle that Nicky had jokingly gifted him after learning who his deities were, but he used it more than he liked to admit. He used it quite often actually.

Small, but heavy, the set was carved from black stone intermixed with glaringly white fossils. The inside was stained rust brown from constant use, and he only considered it for a moment before tapping in dried mint, rosemary, sunflower and salt. Over the herbs, he poured a small splatter of the blood that had been enchanted to remain fresh before grinding it all together into a fine paste.

He'd been told over and over throughout the years that he practiced his magic wrong, but the first thing he'd learned once Higgins had found him was that his magic was highly subject to his own thoughts and whims. For him, it helped to include as object that was close to him and something that reminded him of the subject of his magic.

When Higgins still mattered -because he had at one point no matter how Andrew felt about him now- he'd taught Andrew that magic was personal, that there was no right or wrong way to do it. Where Exy was structure and rigid, witchcraft was loose and up for interpretation. Due to his lack of control though, Higgins had suggest a deity to follow, Apollo to be exact.

Andrew had scoffed. What use would he have had for a god that wasn't there to help anyway? What use did he have for magic that didn't work anyway? The only person he could rely on was himself, and he wasn't going to put his time and energy towards an absent god.

Only once he was in Juvie and had met Aaron with all his bruises and down turned eyes that he considered the possibility. Deities, whether that be God from a magicless religion or a God(dess) from a pagan religion, were supposed to focus the worshiper's magic and make it easier to manipulate into the needed shape. A deity wasn't a requirement for practicing, but Andrew had needed to focus if he was going to help his brother.

Andrew studied under Apollo for months before realizing he was in dire need of feminine energy in his craft.

Sekhmet found him sitting on the curb outside a convenience store in the form of a black cat with piecing golden eyes and an emerald collar. The cat had rubbed her head along his arm and back before taking a seat next to him. She's dropped a piece of paper in his lap, looking please. The paper had been from a textbook, an image of Sekhmet staring up at him.

Mistress of Dread.

Lady of Slaughter.

He'd looked over at the cat, scratching behind her ear. “Thanks.”

With a blink, she'd gotten up and disappeared over the hood of a car.

“Andrew?”

Blinking back to himself, Andrew scooted over and said, “Sit. Back to me.”

Neil sat as he was instructed, dropping the top towel and shivering as the cool air pressed against his skin. Overhead, there was the weak patter of rain beginning again, softer than earlier that night.

“Sit still,” Andrew warned before dipping his fingers into the blood mixture. He retraced the sigils he'd already written. Track blocker. Hex dispeller. Barrier. The blood glowed gently after her pressed each sigil into Neil's skin.

Neil trembled. “You're warm.”

“Good. Turn. Now the front.” Andrew placed a general protection sigil in each of Neil's four corners to ask the elements for their protection, and over his heart, he drew his oldest sigil. The first sigil he'd written that worked.

When he pressed his hand over the blood, electricity jumped between their skin. Neil gasped quietly. “What was that one?”

“Just something extra.” He was still mildly skeptical about the gods, but he'd silently talked to Apollo and Sekhmet while he'd been drawing. The burst of energy between their bodies told Andrew that someone had heard.

Andrew ran his fingers down the bridge of Neil's nose, smirking as he scrunched it up. When he prompted Neil, he dipped his clean fingers in the blood mixture to do the same to Andrew.

Standing, Andrew said simply, “Shower.”

Neil climbed into the shower, and Andrew followed behind him, leaving his tools to clean up later. He dragged Neil into a kiss as the water burst back to life.

Neil:

The shower lasted longer than either of them probably meant it to, turning from washing the blood from their skin to moans and gasps, hands in hair and lips on necks. The water ran cold before they clambered back out, Neil feeling like himself again and Andrew's magic jumping from his skin in energetic spurts compared to the person. It was nearly eight when they check out of their room.

“Off to the campsite then?” Neil asked, sliding into the driver's seat and turning over the engine in one easy motion. He grabbed the map from the glove compartment as Andrew smoked outside the car door, but instead of opening it, he licked his thumb and pressed it to the front where his fingerprint remained and glowed. “At least we won't get lost now.”

“You'll find a way,” Andrew hummed, stubbing out his cigarette and sliding into the passenger seat. “Do you still feel the spell?”

Neil shook his head, twisting around in his seat to back out of the spot. “No. All I can feel is this sigil.” Turning forward, he pressed his fingers over his heart.

He didn't see Andrew look over at him, but he smiled when he growled, “Stop making that face.”

“I'm not making a face.”

“You are, and I hate it.”

Neil pursed his lips. “You know, every time you say you hate something about me, it makes me think that you actually like it.”

“Bold faced lie.”

“You said you wouldn't lie to me.”

Andrew shrugged. “I wasn't the one who said it.”

Neil hummed along with the frequency of his own magic. “Do you want coffee before we leave town?”

“I want a chocolate croissant and java chip frappuccino,” Andrew said.

“You had those yesterday.”

“And?”

Neil started laughing.