#the worst part is that it's wishlist locked

[answrs]

[wavering-eyes]

Open the Floodgates - December 2023 Banlist

Any Josh viewers in chat? There clearly are at Konami.

It's been a really long time since a banlist and the format's developed a lot in different ways that would be difficult to summarize. In lieu of writing all of that, here's a banlist wishlist I banged out a couple of weeks ago out of sheer boredom and I'll use that to talk about the issues last format had which this banlist would presumably have fixed.

Again, NOT THE ACTUAL BANLIST, that comes later. I had:

Banned: Agido the Ancient Sentinel Kelbek the Ancient Vanguard

Agido and Kelbek have had it too good for too long. Tear is not a healthy deck in its current incarnation, it basically exists for gambling addicts. I would be okay with most of the tear names coming back to more than 1 if they banned these. Honestly the shufflers are more toxic but I think this hit does enough to mostly remove them from the format too, aside from tech options in Labrynth etc. I'd like them gone but I think they're less likely.

Neo-Spacian Aqua Dolphin

I'm biased: I kind of like Isolde. That card being banned would not make me sad but I think Infernoble would be in a healthy place with just Aqua Dolphin banned since Connector turns 3-negate hands into 3-negate double handrip hands and that's fun for literally nobody.

Sillva, Warlord of Dark World

Similarly, Dark World hand loop does not deserve to exist. Ken and Gen were a mistake.

Baronne de Fleur

Baronne is miles better than almost every other Synchro released in years. I think the only deck where it's actually healthy is Swordsoul, and it would be a shame for that deck to lose this, but it's way too strong. This is also a wide hit, it hurts the combo variants of R-ACE and every version of Mannadium and Infernoble.

Hot RDA King Calamity

King Calamity lock should not be a thing, I don't really care how good/bad Centur-Ion is.

Limited: Kashtira Fenrir

Unless you're playing R-ACE or a deck that can't play it, Fenrir is generally better than seeing an engine card.

Rescue-ACE Air Lifter

I thought long and hard about what hit would be best for R-ACE and it's either this, EMERGENCY!, or both. This is the deck's best starter by far since just Hydrant doesn't really get you anywhere.

Unchained Soul of Sharvara

Sharvara to 1 both stops the deck from playing through hand traps as easily and making High Caesar, the only problematic part of that end board. If there's any hit I really wanted it was this. Unchained was the most represented deck last format in terms of YCS wins, for good reason; it's decent into everything at worst and plays very well around sacky blowouts like Shifter.

S:P Little Knight

S:P is the best Link in the game and both R-ACE and Infernoble play two. I honestly think the game would benefit if it was banned but Konami will never do that and putting it to 1 actually does something in this case, so why not.

Pot of Prosperity

I finally got a set from Rarity Collection box tournaments and... this card feels like cheating in much the same way Talent does. Seeing this card feels like you've unlocked the ability to mulligan your hand.

I hope you get the picture: Unchained and R-ACE were roughly the best decks and the combo decks below it were various kinds of unhealthy. I get that a banlist prediction isn't the best way to communicate this since it's also adjusted to stuff Konami probably won't hit since it's new (Sinful Spoils etc.), but the bulk of the analysis here is on the banned cards anyways.

One other concern before we go into the list is Labrynth: Lab is seeing a lot of play right now thanks to a very good R-ACE matchup, and it's seeing a lot of speculation because Transaction Rollback has been confirmed for a TCG release. I don't think it deserves a pre-emptive hit but Eradicator Epidemic Virus or Skill Drain going would be good for the game.

Anyways, the actual banlist:

Banned: Agido Kelbek

Ishizu millers are gone, so Tear is now much less likely to sack you, and that's just about all it's got left at this point.

Mathmech Circular

I have no animosity towards this card in particular (as has been shown!) but it's very emblematic of modern power creep. Circular was a 1-card do EVERYTHING. Mathmech played Small World to search this when it was at 3. Cyberse piles played it too.

With that said, this ban is a huge surprise. Mathmech has been virtually irrelevant since Bystials came out, and I think totally irrelevant since Circular was limited. I have legitimately no idea what inspired this.

Isolde, Two Tales of the Noble Knights

So we're taking the low road. It's hard to overstate how much this card did for Infernoble, but it saw play in Mikanko as well: you could mill Arabesque to summon out Renaud and add it back, which starts your entire engine, or mill Mayowashidori and have that setup prepared for later. That deck also played enough equips to summon out Ha-Re or Ken/Gen if necessary.

Modern builds of Infernoble played 2 Infernoble Arms names alongside Phoenix Blade, D.D.R., and Angelica's Angelic Ring as targets to mill off of this, and it hardly ever mattered even if you drew two. Angelica's Ring is of interest here since Charles can equip it from GY thus adding another negate to the board--one which works against Super Polymerization and Dark Ruler No More.

I think the core idea of the design--you have to play bricks to get a summon from deck--is fine. But warriors are way too good and this card has been living on borrowed time for five years.

Future Infernoble builds will probably have to go all-in on Angelica or something, but I don't see how you play the deck competitively without this.

Limited Unchained Soul of Sharvara Rescue-ACE Air Lifter

Nice call, me!

Redox, Dragon Ruler of Boulders

All of these cards could come to 1, or maybe even 3, and they would be fine. The hand effects still go -1 and they are not better cards to mill off of Ravine than Absorouter or Bystial Lubellion, so who cares.

Orcust Harp Horror

This card could have been unbanned years ago. It's a shame we only got it back after Bystials came out, but something tells me that Normal Summon Girsu is gonna be a fine play anyways... (Read on.)

Gozen Match Rivalry of Warlords There Can Be Only One

It's a holiday miracle. Floodgate bozos BTFO. As you can see above, I didn't expect this to ever happen but it's genuinely pretty great for the game.

Skill Drain next please!

Sunavalon Dryas Sunavalon Healer

Rikka Sunavalon is, on paper at least, an insane combo deck. This deck can put up multiple interruptions off of literally just Unexpected Dai and has plenty of space for non-engine--not to mention how much work the Rikka cards put in thanks to Konkon and Sheet adding S/T based disruption, Princess insulating you from monster effects, and the Xyz monsters adding more traditional monster-based disruption. On paper it has answers to virtually anything and you could build your board in ways to play around a large variety of cards.

Note that--on paper. This deck is not good into handtraps, and last format was definitely a handtrap format. Rikka Sunavalon saw a bit of success a few months ago, mostly in Europe and the fringes of the NAWCQ, but overall was fairly well balanced by the steep difficulty of the deck and its fragility going second.

I think the most likely hit to this deck--which I didn't feel was necessary--would have been Jasmine to 1, since that card is not once per turn, and the deck regularly used Healer to trigger both copies at once. But this hit is pretty staggering--the extra is now short 3 cards.

Ib the World Chalice Justiciar

Denglong came back a list or two ago and saw no success whatsoever. Now we have Justi back and it's... interesting.

I will go on record saying that this is, short of any currently-unprinted legacy support, a better card than Denglong. Its targets are overall much better and it plays better with most decks. Denglong bricks were generally very bad to see and relatively weak unless you were going all in on it.

With that said, Denglong also had obvious decks to slot into--Swordsoul, Adventurer decks playing Tenyi cards, etc. I don't know what currently existing deck would want to play this since it would virtually demand a rebuild around it. I'm gonna throw a dart at the wall and mention Runick Generaider which could play Sinful Spoils for Jet Synchron or something, since that enables both Baronne and this, and Monstrosity is just about the sackiest play in that deck. There's also World Legacy Orcust, whatever you want to call the upcoming cope variant, since your backup for getting Harp Horror stopped after opening Girsu could be a Justiciar combo of some sort. But I don't expect much regardless. I guess there's also maybe some Runick Synchro deck (entirely separate from Runick Bystial, it would be P.U.N.K. or Synchron or something) that could possibly exist but I don't have super high hopes for it.

For anyone thinking about it, this card's best "obvious" targets are World Legacy Monstrosity, World Legacy Guardragon, and World Legacy's Succession. If you're trying to play Mekk-Knights, all of their backrow that negates cards on a column basis are World Legacy cards, and Girsu makes this card by himself.

Update: around 12 hours later. I've done some testing and I think Dragon Link is the only real deck for this card. In practice you need a bunch of setup for the Girsu to make this going first for your various Monstrosity decks, so your best option is actually Draconnet and that's kinda garbage. World Chalice isn't going to be stealing tops anytime soon either, and it was basically proto-Dragon Link anyways. Dragon Link can make this off of like BMD + Quick Launch and that combo is okay, ending on something like Spheres + S:P and Regained with 4 cards in hand. I don't think any of the bricks are going to see play though.

Snatch Steal

Change of Heart is back at 1 and this is actually less searchable thanks to Triple Tactics Thrust. Surprisingly, this card should actually be fine. Though there are a concerning amount of monster-stealing effects in the game, going second is currently not strong enough of an option to support a strategy built around it. (Read on.)

Semi-Limited Purrely Sleepy Memory

With Delicious limited, this is the best Memory card left, at least going first: either cat using this as material summons out Epurrely Noir which sets Purrelyeap from deck if you have another spell. Next standby you can draw a card for every Sleepy Memory underneath Noir, then activate Yeap to turn it into Expurrely Noir--and since it's now a different card, draw the same number of cards off of Sleepy, up to potentially six if you had all three. Now it's 4 at max.

This also slightly disrupts the usual line off of My Friend Purrely, which prior to this would usually reveal three copies of Sleepy Memory going first. Now it's probably going to be both remaining copies and Delicious, which is what you'd do if you already drew one.

I don't think Purrely was a particularly fun deck to play against and this hit was definitely deserved. With that said, once the Goblin archetype comes out next set, I would not expect to see much more from Purrely, even if this card was at 3.

Dinowrestler Pankratops

Last seen at 3 in Eternal format, where its statline and Quick Effect forced two-for-ones against (interrupted) Orcust, Salamangreat, and Sky Striker boards alike, Pankratops has consistently seen play since being Limited and I do not expect that to change going forward. While he has some competition with Kashtira Fenrir around, make no mistake--Pankratops is usually the better card going second and Fenrir is favored due to its utility going first. That aside, there's not enough anti-synergy to prevent you from playing both.

Speedroid Terrortop

Last seen summoning M-X Saber Invoker off of 1 card in Zoodiac format. Rank 3 monsters are still plenty strong. I would not count this card out in the slightest, doubly so if it comes to 3 later. With that said, as I recall, the OCG last played this to make Miragestallio, and Salamangreat--surprisingly--has better things to be doing than that*.

*I'd love to elaborate but it's kind of an insider secret for now.

Unlimited

Grouping these together based on relevance.

Infernity Archfiend Spellbook of Judgment

Unhits to decks that should have stayed in 2014. Launcher is still at 1 and Infernity is still going to be bad as long as handtraps exist. Judgment saw no play after its unban because Spellbooks are way too slow to compete and Jowgen control is not real.

Kashtira Unicorn Spright Starter

Housekeeping. Undoing semi-limits delivered as a slap on the wrist to decks that are largely irrelevant after Konami banned their best ED monster.

Mind Control

You can go through my old posts for proof: I was always a believer in Mind Control. I called it when it first went back to 3 and enjoyed my victory lap once it was hit again.

The game's changed a lot since: most notably, Change of Heart was unbanned (and now Snatch Steal, too...), and Triple Tactics Talent and Thrust were printed. This card is worse than all of those, so the question is no longer "Would you want to take your opponent's monsters?" and is now "Would you play this alongside the much better options that now exist?" and I think the answer is "no" for most decks. If this sees play, it will be in budget lists or in lists already maxed out on all of the above cards.

Upstart Goblin

Let's get this out of the way. Uninformed scrubs like to mythologize Hoban playing triple Upstart in every deck back in 2014 as proof that this card stayed on the list due to the power of 37-card decks, but it's been ten years and this is no longer HAT format. Most decks play hand traps and seeing Upstart going second when it could have been a hand trap is bad. This card is also unbelievably bad into Droll & Lock Bird which has seen near-constant Side Deck play since 2019, so that doesn't help either. The only reason you'd play this is for synergy or deck-thinning in decks that simply don't play going-second cards, so I would expect this to see play in Dark World (the illusion of free choice: you will still lose to Droll), Endymion decks (since those cards no longer see play in Pendulum piles) and Sky Striker (mega-cope) and very little else.

So. Not useless but I would not expect to see it in anything good.

Pot of Desires

The discussion of the relative strength of the Pot cards is very complex and well out of the scope of this post. I have been asking for a Desires ban for years and accept that I'll probably never get it, but the fact that Prosperity's drawback is so low that even ED combo decks like Mannadium can play it is not a great look for this card since you can't play both.

That said--you should literally never count this card out. It being moved to 3 is an attempt to shape the game and not a statement of this card's power level.

END

Unchained now has to choose between setting a trap off of Sharvara or making High Caesar, and they'll probably always choose the trap. The card not being at 3 also means you are much less likely to be able to hold one in hand to have your Tour Guide dodge Impermanence, or to pop your own cards on your opponent's turn unless you add it back off of Soul of Rage. This deck was mostly fair but this helps smooth out the excessively strong parts. Maybe there's a world where the deck starts playing double Shyama for Caesar but that just sounds awful.

R-ACE lost 2 copies of their best starter. I expect the deck to still perform, though this is a serious hit.

Infernoble is virtually dead in the water.

Mikanko lost universal access to Ken/Gen and will have to totally rebuild, but still has some things going for it--mostly Hu-Li.

Tear is pretty trash now. I don't think it's even in cope territory without millers, there's just no way you can expect to sack with just Scream and Tearlaments Kashtira milling 5.

Labrynth is looking very nice. Fire Kings are looking alright too. Most every FIRE deck can expect a boost once Promethean Princess comes out, including R-ACE.

Mannadium is untouched. Droll is the only thing holding this deck back--it can play through literally everything else.

Until next time.

[rggie]

< event m.list┆when they spoil you

characters: idia, leona, vil

details: gn!reader / sfw, established relationship

idia shroud has madol to spare.

seriously. he has loads lying in his bank account, untouched. all he uses it for is games, merchandise, figurines and a plethora of charities he repeatedly saw ads for and couldn’t click off. he’s subscribed to so many things over the years, half of the time he doesn’t even know what his phone is billing him for. not that it really matters. to say there was ample room for him to spend more would be an understatement, but he had nothing (correction, nobody) at all to spend it on.

at least, until he met you. 

he’s (regrettably) played enough dating sims and watched enough shoujo romances to know about the different love languages. personally, he adores words of affirmation, lapping up your praise like some sort of starved kitten. (his ego is skyrocketing and it’s all your fault) but gift giving? now that’s his guilty pleasure. it’s quick, easy and an often wordless exchange, which was good for him! the less verbal mush he has to say, the better.

it starts off simple, just idia logging on to do your dailies whenever you’re busy. then, he’s buying you the monthly battle pass. and then, it’s the overpriced skin for a character you didn’t even care much for in the first place. before you know it, you’re that couple, notorious on video games… you know, the annoying ones with matching avatars and bios, with all the unnecessary assets that were locked behind a paywall. oh, the irony of it all. he used to hate those types!

you logged him into you favourite shopping apps, so if there’s something on your wishlist that exceeds your budget on a shopping spree, he’ll take care of it before you get the chance. every time you joke about him being your sugar daddy, (which is not true. he doesn’t even buy you things that often!) he says he’ll block you on everything. he never goes through with it, though.

idia is too shy to admit it, but there’s a small part of him that wishes to gift give more, solely because of your reaction — he can’t help it, the surprised pikachu-like expression and the way you throw your arms around him when he surprises you with something you’ve been eyeing gives him a serotonin boost! he’ll be giddy, practically hyper for the rest of the day, as though he’s on a sugar-rush… his brain just goes into overdrive and all he can think about is how he wants to hit replay and have you do it again over and over and over. he’s so touch starved.

you’re his first everything, so who can blame him for treating you? he still thinks you’re leagues ahead of him. so he’s not doing it to be cocky or make you feel guilty, he does it because the three words he tries so hard to say refuse to fall from his lips. his throat dries and his hands get clammy and his brain fails to form coherent thoughts whenever he attempts to tell you in person — but if you look closer, you’d find that it’s already been conveyed through his gifts: a non-verbal ‘i care about you’, ‘i want you to be happy’ and of course, ‘i love you.’

leona kingscholar is no stranger to expensive gifts.

being a prince, he’s had suitors from far and wide travel to present him with lavish things — and yet, he can only say a select few had no ulterior motive. thus, receiving gifts is something he brushes off quite easily.

when you shower him with the very thing he avoids, he doesn’t know what to make of it. do you want something from him? is that why you’re dating him? the worst part is he doesn’t voice his concerns at all, feigning indifference until ruggie pokes his nose into his business. “leona, what have you ever gotten for them?”

nothing. he’s gotten you nothing. he takes, takes, takes, and you’ve asked for nothing in return. not once has asked you if you wanted anything, too caught up in his own negativity — fuck. he’s not too good at this whole ‘boyfriend’ thing. leona realises that you’re not giving gifts because you want something out of him, you’re doing it because you love him, and simply want to see him happy.

very abruptly, he’s asking you about things you’ve had your eye on. wristwatches that are just wayyy too expensive for a regular student, or newly-released branded shoes that you know you can’t afford till they go on sale. you never really know if leona’s listening to your absent-minded rambles, so you pay no mind to his sudden curiosity. he’s always said he likes the sound of your voice, so you keep on talking.

“anything you’ve got your eye on?” he’s lounging on your thighs, eyes closed as you lace your fingers through his hair. “other than you?”

he glares at you. you laugh before responding properly, and he listens attentively (he always has) because he’s irritatingly enamoured (he always will be)

leona can tell when you get excited, ears twitching with the intonations of your voice, “there were these headphones i liked, and oh! also these sliders (…)” your candid response is almost amusing. you’re oblivious, completely unbeknownst to the wishlist in leona’s head that seems to grow longer, and longer, and longer…

your birthday this year will be a big one.

vil schoenheit ‘unintentionally’ spoils you.

like leona, vil has been recipient of gifts since the start of his career. whether it’s brand deals or romantic advancements, it’s all the same to him. that doesn’t mean the notion isn’t sweet!! and if it’s you gifting him something, it’s all the more sweeter.

that said, he makes sure to remind you that he doesn’t require gifts. your relationship is bolstered by the genuine trust you have in each other, so he doesn’t need flowery grand gestures — not that he won’t accept them, because he will! — but he’d rather not have you splurge on him when you still have a future to focus on. being goal driven himself, he’d rather you not get carried away.

“just focus on yourself. be selfish.” he tells you, but he struggles to do that himself.

okay, he doesn’t necessarily give you gifts. he just so happens to have things lying around that he doesn’t need anymore. shoes from partnerships he didn’t like, jewellery that’ll suit you better, or clothes that are so not his style are all sent straight to you. he has a surplus of things he doesn’t use, so why not give it away to someone who’d make better use of it? it’s not intentional or anything.

“stay still.” he’s got you sitting in his vanity chair as he kneels on the ground, knuckles grazing your skin as he fastens the clasp of a silver bracelet on your wrist. “vil, when did you buy this?”

“i didn’t. it was free. magicam promo.” that’s what he claims, but you know better. of course you do, when you were the one sitting across from him one week ago as he mulled over purchasing the exact same thing.

so maybe he’s a liar. he does spoil you. he does it all the time. but his school performance hasn’t been hindered, and neither has yours, so… just let him carry on.

<-

[rtf-j]

Being a Gun Salesman in 2020

I haven’t been very active lately and to be honest it’s because I’m fatigued and gun posting just reminds me of work now, but this year has been unlike any other so I felt I needed to share what it’s been like being a gun salesman in 2020 - between COVID-19, riots, protests, and the upcoming election, it’s been pure insanity.

The year started off to a decent start sales-wise, we had the usual post-holiday I-got-christmas-money spending, followed by the traditional post-tax-return impulse buying. I knew with the election coming up towards the end of the year we’d see a pretty large increase in sales around then, but hadn’t expected 2020 to be anything too crazy for the firearms industry. 

Then COVID-19 became a global event.

I’ll never forget the first insane day of sales we had because it fell on Friday the 13th back in March, right around the same time businesses began having to close and people started having to go on unemployment, and unfortunately, on the day Breonna Taylor was murdered. We had a never ending stream of new customers walking in wanting to buy something for home defense, along with our regulars who were just trying to check items off their wishlist before inventory was gone. To say we had to put little effort into making sales is an understatement - everyone thought as people went on unemployment and business shuttered that immediately they would turn to theft and violence, and whatever they could use to defend themselves they wanted it and all the ammo to go with it immediately.

Depending on how many used/estate/trade-in firearms we have we would usually have around 100-130 handguns in stock, and around 80 long guns, along with a decent selection of ammunition. At one point in March we had 5 handguns left on the shelf and about 25 long guns left, all of which were only there because they were either collectible in nature or a dedicated hunting/sporting firearm. Any modern defensive firearm was gone, and all common ammunition calibers were out of stock as well. Even things like magazines, holsters, cleaning kits, safety gear, parts, etc. were getting bought up.

The good news at least was at this point we could still restock inventory. Shipping times were taking much longer than usual since every shop in the nation was hammering distributors with orders, but we were still able to order in product and re-fill the shelves in a reasonable timeframe. By about mid-May sales had slowed back down to around near-normal as we ran out of stuff to sell and everyone began to adjust to living in COVID-19 America. After our first dead week of sales in awhile I thought we were through the worst of it and things would return to normal.

Then George Floyd was murdered. 

Being located within a reasonable distance of downtown Portland put us right near the heart of protests and riots that would eventually draw global attention, and along with it came the panic buying. Business owners, residents concerned about their safety, people arming themself for what they believed was the start of a conflict - they all came in droves. What little inventory we were getting in was leaving near immediately, and with the entire nation seeing similar events happening in major cities the supply chain was gutted quickly.

It’s mid-September now and while we still see the high demand for firearms, the reality is we’re running out of things to sell and unable to restock easily. We used to be able to reserve small stashes of 9mm/5.56 in the back for customers to pick up with firearms, but that’s all long gone now with no ETA on when we’ll get more. Companies we’ve reached out to about becoming new dealers with or backordering some calibers have quoted us Q2 of 2021 on new orders. The few new defensive firearms we do restock sell within a day or two of being put on the shelf, and we’re definitely selling more than we are restocking.

COVID-19 has limited the importation and production of firearms/ammunition so badly that some many I had backordered back in April have still not been filled, and although I check daily on the multiple distributors we use they are getting such limited inventory that everything is being allocated out and not even put on their websites. I just have to hope there is anything good on an allocation email and that I reply quickly enough to get it, or that I’ll get a shipping notice from one of the many backorders we have pending.

The bigger concern for me now has become the general unpleasantness that has spread to nearly everyone. Customers don’t understand why we’re out of all the calibers or firearms they’re looking for and get angry when we can’t just order more for them. First time buyers get frustrated when their driver’s license is expired, or has an old out of state address, and they need something else for us to use to submit their background check. Background check queues that used to take minutes or hours on a busy day to clear now take weeks since over 5,000 people are in line and even though we communicate that, people still impatiently call us every few days to check where they are in line. The first time buyer who didn’t give a damn about the Second Amendment until now is suddenly an expert on their rights and is furious at us because the State Police put a Delay or Denial on their background check.

Don’t even get me started on the masks.

We’ve had more crazies coming out of the woodworks in the last 6 months than the entire 8 years I’ve been in this industry. Between multiple Delays and Denials on a weekly basis, combined with having had to ask a few customers to leave because we didn’t feel confident selling them a firearm or they were rude to our staff, it’s been stressful for the entire crew. One of our regulars who works nights and commutes right by the shop informed us he’d seen two cars parked outside the shop around 3am one morning, and after reviewing the security camera footage, we were definitely being cased. Thankfully all of our firearms are locked up in safes at night, so it’s clear to anyone looking in the windows that there’s nothing they can easily steal if they do get in, but it’s still concerning that someone might try anyway.

With the Presidential election being about two months out I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of the insanity, not by a long shot. They say an armed society is a polite society, but America is feeling less and less like a functioning society, and more and more people are forgetting how to be polite. 

[wynniewright]

Secret Santa (Drabble)

→  This piece is a part of the Secret Santa event hosted by @bwcsecretsanta and was created for @n8dlesoupguk

→ Rating: PG-13

→ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

→ WC: 2.4k

→ Genre: secret santa au

→ Summary: When you pick Yoongi’s name for the dreaded secret santa event at work, things didn’t go exactly as you expected them to.

→ Warnings: much fluff, some mild vulgar language (I tried very hard not to use the f word)

AN: Okay, it’s 4am and I don’t have the mental capacity to do tags and the proper set-up into the story so I did the absolute bare minimum until I’m awake and actually able to process what the hell is going on. AS MENTIONED ABOVE, it’s a secret santa piece for my dear @n8dlesoupguk. I’m sorry this piece took so long to get out but I hope you enjoy it, even if it is a little on the drabble side. Thank you for letting me be your secret santa and I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.~ <3 

PS: Sorry I forced you to wait until the last possible moment and thank you for your patience love!

It’s official. You were officially the worst secret santa in the history of secret santas and honestly, even that was giving yourself too much credit. You could barely call yourself a secret santa. The qualifications were somewhat loose, being that all you had to do was fill in a gift card for your own secret santa to receive while you received one from a co-worker. 

If you were honest with yourself, you wouldn’t have even signed up if you didn’t think your manager, Seokjin, wasn’t looking over your shoulder. Sure, he said it was optional, but you were looking forward to a promotion to serving role so that you didn’t have to bus tables anymore. If getting on Jin’s good side meant you had to participate in some cheesy holiday event for work then that’s exactly what you were going to do.

You couldn’t even blame your poor time management skills on your strict manager, since he specifically told every staff member the rules:

Gifts cannot go oer the $30 budget

Gifts must be ready for the exchange on the morning of the 24th

That was easy enough, right? Whoever’s name you pulled, you could’ve gotten away with buying them a candle or maybe some fuzzy socks and a sheet mask. It was supposed to be easy. But instead of ease, panic set in the moment you opened your locker and realized whose secret santa you were.

Min Yoongi.

Out of the twenty-something other employees at the restaurant, you managed to pick THE Min Yoongi. How? You wished you knew. 

Pulling his name from the hat wasn’t horrible because it was him, in fact, if you actually cared about the work festivities, you would’ve jumped for joy and screeched into your pillow the moment you got home. But you didn’t care about the exchange and had no plans to put any thought into a personalized gift for the recipient. Hell, by the time you actually bothered to take a peek at the name was nearly 72 hours before the exchange. That’s exactly why you were at the mall before your shift, less than 24 hours until the gift exchange in front of the other staff, in search for a suitable gift for the cute boy.

No pressure, right?

You tossed out your idea of fuzzy socks and body care products and immediately headed to the mom-and-pop candle store in search of fall-scented candles. There should’ve been more space for additional details because, c’mon, how many fall candles existed? Since it was the day before Christmas Eve, you expected to have plenty of options with fall scents - but not as many as there were.

It was understatement to say that there were plenty of options when the entire store was just one massive cloud of the perfect holiday fragrances, cinnamon and apple wafting right out the doors and flooding your nostrils before you even stepped into the place.

It took a whole hour for you to test all of the scents, a bulk of the time wasted on debating whether or not Yoongi was the Christmas cookie type, or if he’d like Apple Pumpkin or even Holiday Hearth, whatever that was. After the first 10 minutes of sniffing, all the candles started to blend together and smell the same as the one before it, leaving you defeated.

Shortly after leaving, there was a brief moment where you thought about checking out another store for some candles, but considering your nose was fried with all those powerful scents, you didn’t think you could sniff another freaking candle without losing your sense of smell. Perhaps the beanie on his list would’ve been an easier find.

Boy, were you wrong.

After shopping at three different department stores, you came to the conclusion that trying to find a beanie during the peak of the winter season was an even worse idea than the candles. You knew better than to waste time looking for one of the most popular items for the season so you weren’t sure why it was a shock to you when you couldn’t get your hands on one. The last item on his wishlist was sour watermelon gummies and although those sounded like a decent idea for a multi-item gift, there was no way you would give him a $30 bag of candy. 

With slumped shoulders and a pout, you decided to head into Guitar Center with less than a half an hour until the start of your shift. You didn’t know what to look for, only that you needed to find something budget-friendly that Yoongi would definitely take a liking to. The only possible solution was to give him a sad $30 gift card and call it a day, huffing your way across the mall to where the restaurant was located on the other side.

Technically, a gift card to Guitar Center was the perfect gift for Yoongi. There was a level of passion in which Yoongi spoke about his instruments, talking about music as if it were alive. That’s exactly why you couldn’t screw up the gift by getting him a gift card, right? Even if it was $30, that money could’ve gone towards something he wanted to buy in the future and even if it wasn’t much, you were sure he would still love it.

With a little newfound confidence, you strode through the open doorway and greeted your longtime friend, Jeongguk who stood behind the host desk, scribbling onto something you couldn’t see. 

“Hey, Gukie,” you offered a friendly wave, catching his friendly grin and returning it with one of your own.

“Y/N! I can’t believe you came in today,” he said, maneuvering his way around the desk to wrap his arms tightly around your shoulders. “Did you manage to find something good?” He whispered in your ear and you couldn’t help the sigh that pressed through your lips. 

You grumbled, “I got him a gift card?” 

His almond eyes rounded out, widening as if you had another head sprouting from your shoulder. “You totally forgot rule three.”

“Rule three?”

You thought back to Jin giving everyone a mini lecture on what was allowed to be given as a gift, running through rules one and two but ultimately coming to a blank.

Jeongguk brushed his lean fingers through his perfectly styled hair, causing some strands to fall in his face before he ruffled the locks in the back. “Rule number three, no gift cards or restaurant merch.” He deadpanned.

The moment those words left his lips, your mind flashed back to your manager saying those exact words and nearly lost your shit right as Yoongi and one of his best pals, Hoseok, strolled on in. 

“Are you fu-”

“-oh, hey, Y/N.” Yoongi flashed his signature gummy smile, reserved but enough to break some hearts as they stopped right by the two of you.

Your heart sank with the realization that you somehow managed to become an even worse secret santa than you managed before, which honestly would be an achievement for you if it wasn’t for the fact that Min-freaking-Yoongi was going to the one disappointed in you.

“Hey, Yoongi,” you gave a half-hearted wave, trying your best to put on a smile while knowing full-well that it was flat and obviously painful. He passed by after a quick “it’s nice to see you again” and headed to the lockers in the back. 

Jeongguk watched the interaction and kept looking between the two of you as Yoongi walked further away, letting out a short whistle with a shake of his head. 

“You, my friend, are absolutely screwed.”

-----

You didn’t know exactly what you were thinking. A gift card? A freaking gift card? Seriously, how lame is that? People probably wrote poems about their recipient, shopped tirelessly for their favorite things until they were sure they were going to give the best gift a secret santa could give and there you were with a tiny, half-assed gift card that didn’t amount to anything nearly important enough and hoping that would suffice. 

You were disappointed in yourself. Sure, maybe time slipped by a bit too fast and left you with the last possible moment. Perhaps you could have blamed the sudden incline in hours after an excellent food critique brought an even larger crowd, telling him that’s why you didn’t have time to get something - anything - better. But that was just it. You couldn’t tell Yoongi that you didn’t care enough to buy a gift for anyone until you realized it was him. No way.

Feeling badly about the decision to get him a gift card, you managed to find a pair of fuzzy black socks - even though the color he put for his favorite was green but you knew that a majority of his closet was black - and a small, autumn-scented candle that anyone would enjoy with it’s subtle flair. You stuck those in the bag with the gift card, ultimately choosing to give both gifts despite them collectively doubling the budget. 

To say that nerves were getting to you wasn’t even the half of it. Your leg wouldn’t stop bouncing as each person around the circle was called to stand up and find the receiver of their gifts to hand them their early Christmas presents. The closer it got to you, the worse the bounding became, practically jumping up and down with every pull of your leg until you smacked it against your neighbor when they returned to their seat after their exchange.

“Alright, next is Y/N,” Seokjin clapped happily. You wished his positivity would’ve rubbed off on you and given you the strength to look Yoongi in the eye and hand him the monstrosity of a gift that you gave him. 

You pushed yourself up from the chair and and walked over to the other side, knees wobbling and hands growing slick as you neared Yoongi’s seat. With a deep breath, you extended the small bag his way and immediately ducked your head down when he took it, flying back to your seat on the opposite side and avoiding his gaze. 

It felt like hours going through everyone’s secret santa gift and you were too happy when Seokjin didn’t require us to open our presents in front of everyone. Presents were personal, right? Nobody wants to be exposed like that. 

You would’ve dipped on out of there as soon as the gift exchange ended but the nagging guilt forced you to make your way over to where Yoongi and Jeongguk were casually chatting. When you reached them, they both looked up at you with each of their own expressions: Yoongi’s eyes were dark yet curious as to what you wanted whereas Jeongguk knew exactly what was about to go down. 

“I’m actually going to catch Syd before she leaves. I’ll be right back,” he excused himself and made his exit, turning around the moment he was behind Yoongi to give you a supportive thumbs up. 

“Ah, right. I wanted to thank you for your gift, by the way. I really like the candle and I’m kinda digging the fuzzy socks so thanks.” Yoongi flicked his head to the side, pushing his dark hair out of his face as he smiled that heart-melting smile. 

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.” You nibbled on your lip.

How were you supposed to go about this? Was it something you had to sort of dance around and hope he’d understand or something you have to tell straight up? While neither answer seemed desirable, there was nothing more terrifying than the thought of having to say, “I bought you what I was going to buy for anyone else that was my secret santa”. 

“The gifts?” Yoongi raised a brow, no doubt confused with the way you were taking things.

“Yeah,” you puffed out. “Is there any way I could give you something else? I was the worst and I waited to go shopping and the things on your list weren’t available no matter where I looked. I would say I tried but I don’t even feel like I did… I’m so sorry for being so stupid, I can’t believe I actually got you th-”. 

“-I don’t want anything else, though. I already have more than enough.” He stuck his lip out, his cheeks puffing out as if he were a child being rejected for some sweets. 

“I don’t think you understand. I really messed this up and I’m so embarrassed,” you pushed further, lowering your head into your hands with a groan. 

Yoongi was silent, thoughtfully watching you have a meltdown in your seat as he contemplated his next response. “And if I said there was something?” He asked.

“It’s yours.”

In a blink of an eye, Yoongi closed the space between the two of you, lips crashing into yours in a gentle yet exploratory kiss. Fireworks shot off somewhere in the back of your mind as you shut your eyes and grazed his cheek with your thumb. The kiss didn’t last nearly as long as you wanted it to, but it took your breath away regardless. The last of him still lingered on your lips as you opened your eyes, cheeks flushed and eyes wide as you took in the situation.

Min Yoongi just kissed you.

THE Min Yoongi just kissed YOU.

“What was that for?” you murmured under your breath, almost as if you wanted an answer but didn’t even want him to hear the question. 

He hummed, a playful glint in his eye as he gave a shrug. “You said I could have something I wanted in return. That’s what I wanted.”

His words warmed your heart and turned you into a giggling mess, leaving you hiding behind your purse with nothing but your eyes peeking over the top. 

“You’re serious? You’re not serious, no way.” You spoke half to yourself and half to him, still processing the feeling of his soft lips against yours. 

“I’m serious. In fact, if you want to go even further to make it up to me, let me take you to dinner next Friday.” He stuck out a hand between your two bodies, the offer laying right there in front of you while you still couldn’t believe what was happening.

You gripped his hand as quickly as possible and bounced in your seat, beaming with excitement as he matched your enthusiasm. “Yes! I mean,” you coughed. “Absolutely, yes. I’d love to.” You grinned.

Little did you know that being the worst secret santa in history would lead you to give Min Yoongi exactly what he wished for: you.

[thedinanshiral]

My personal DA4 wishlist + thoughts

I’ve been teasing this post for a couple of weeks over at Twitter, i’m the worst! But anyway, since game journalism has decided to confirm, once again, that the next Dragon Age game will be set in Tevinter like that’s breaking news, now’s as good a time as ever to write all this down.

Locations: Tevinter, clearly. It’s been pretty much a given since the end of Trespasser in 2015, with that scene where the Inquisitor stabs a map on a table directly on Tevinter as they promise to go after Solas to stop him. But also concept art and several stories from Tevinter Nights heavily imply Antiva, Nevarra, the Anderfells, and maybe Rivain. For those of you who don’t know your Thedosian Geography 101, that’s basically Northern Thedas. And it makes sense, since so far for three games straight we’ve been first stuck in Ferelden, then the coast of the Free Marches, and later the rest of Southern Thedas. We’ve never been North, only heard of it. So in DA4 i’m sure we will finally be able to visit.

Characters: If we’re going to Tevinter, we must meet Dorian again, maybe meet Maevaris Tilani as well (previously only seen in comics), judging from the latest comics series, i’m hoping for Fenris too. And going by the latest teaser trailer, we might see Varric again. As for characters that so far we have no news of, i’d like to see Cole, the Iron Bull, and if by any chance BioWare feels like blessing us with a Hawke/Fenris reunion i might just die happy.  I’d also very much like to see the Inquisitor, but more on that later.

Companions: considering concept art and the latest teaser trailer, plus Tevinter Nights stories and new characters, we have an interesting repertoire of new potential companions. A Tevinter mage, an ancient elf (like a temple guardian) or a dalish elf (like Strife), a Nevarran mortalitasi or spirit, Antivan Crows, Lords of Fortune (new faction, kind of like treasure hunters), Qunari lady, maybe an alchemist or shapeshifter, Grey Wardens (possibly a dwarf), a liberated or escaped slave, a Siccari (Tevinter spies/assassins)..even past agents of the Inquisition could return. 

Plot: We know Solas wants to take down the Veil. We know there’s two archdemons left, and Grey Wardens are regaining some spotlight in concept art lately. We might have to fight on multiple fronts simultaneously and be strategic about it. Solas might even unleash a double Blight just to keep us distracted while he focus on his own goal, who knows. But many other things are happenig in the margins and all over the place. The Qunari Antaam is having a crisis with some of its members supposedly going rogue, the order they’re so proud of is breaking up, and the whole of Northern Thedas is facing an imminent threat of invasion. Tevinter is still dealing with remnants of the Venatori and might soon be dealing with a slaves rebellion and/or a political and social reform (Magisters Dorian and Maeveris have been working wirh the Lucerni, a group aiming to restore and redeem Tevinter). The Antivan Crows -the de facto rulers of Antiva - may be dealing with a succession crisis, as their First Talon, a powerful feared and respected but old lady, might not be around for much longer and seems her chosen heir has died before his time. Meanwhile in the Anderfells nobody’s heard anything from the Grey Wardens’ HQ at Weisshaupt since the end of Inquisition, and as told in the novel Last Flight, the sudden reappearance of griffons may have had something to do with that radio silence. So you see, get ready for another +100 hours long game because BW has plenty of stuff to keep us busy with. But in short, DA4 seems will be about primarily searching, finding, and dealing with Solas. Regardless of what you decided at the Exalted Council in Trespasser, the Inquisition or what’s left of it is most likely the group orchestrating that mission. As it was so clearly stated then, they need new people Solas doesn’t know so he can’t foresee their actions, so it’s possible the DA4 protagonist is a new agent or a third party hired to do what the Inner circle can’t due to their familiarity with Solas in the past. But at the same time -and this is assuming we get to find Solas in this game - i definitely think the Inquisitor could easily show up again. No, losing an arm doens’t mean they’ve retired forever, prosthetics do exist in Thedas, a world where you can combine dwarven craftmanship with enchantments, seriously, i don’t ever want to hear “but they lost an arm” ever again as an excuse to write them out. And no, marrying Cullen or joining the Red Jennys is no impediment to join the “Stop Solas” Squad; the end of Trespasser means something, mainly that this is personal. Be it they loved them as lovers, as friends or ended up hating his guts for using and betraying them, the Inquisitor’s relationship with Solas makes this very personal, and so having any other character do that face off would cheapen all of it, all that bittersweet angsty development and expectations of either revenge or closure. That moment should happen between those two. It adds a ton of motivation due to their past historyas well, something a new protagonist would lack entirely.  My personal best hope is for a sort of dual protagonist thing, say we play new protagonist for most of the game but a selected missions or scenes where we play as the Inquisitor once again and take over for key and heart-wrenching dialogue options. My second best hope is for the Inquisitor to show up as playable for the moment we catch up with Solas. My third and final best hope is for the inquisitor to be a sort of advisor but more like new protagonist’s boss/employer to whom they report back to and get new missions from. The Inquisitor can be stuck in meetings for the most part of it, i just want to know they’re there, behind a door, super busy but there. A cameo like Hawke’s in Inquisition is the bare miminum i can take, anyhting less than that like a mention in a sidequest description or a footnote in a codex entry would be a total  injustice. 

Romances: I’m open for pretty much anything, as any good BW fan would be. But i’d like romances to feel more alive in the sense that they don’t abruptly get stuck once you exhaust all related quests and dialogue options. As much as my Adaar liked that spank from the Iron Bull, that it was the only thing they could share after their romance was locked was a bit..meh. I liked Dorian’s tho, because his gave one the option to talk a bit, go for a walk, gossip, and sure, it all happened off-screen, and there were limited possibilities, but it was nice and made their relationship feel a bit more real, like they had more to it than kissing and stuff. It happens in most games, once you secure a romanceable companion suddenly you run out of things to do and share with them, and you get stuck with the same 3 lines of dialogue over and over again. There should be a way of solving that.

Side quests: i’m ok with fetch quests initially as it is a good way of forcing the player to go out and explore huge maps, but i’d also like the fetching to have some meaning other than checking things off a list. I want to explore many ruins, and -can’t believe i’m actually saying this- i want a Fade quest. Wait! I know what you’re thinking but don’t kill me just yet, here’s my idea: what if we could visit the Fade at certain locations to witness memories or meet with spirits and recollect information on Solas, his past, his present? Both to understand him better (keep in mind we’ll most likely get a new protagonist who isn’t familiar with him like we are as players) and try to locate him or predict his next move. It would be i think i great way of having visions of Arlathan in its golden age, maybe seeing some of the other Evanuris, how they interacted with each other and with the elves in their service, what really happened ...i just want that sweet, sweet lore, i need it.

Technical stuff: ok, graphics will be amazing for sure, but i also would really really like: better, more varied and longer hairstyles, PLEASE. Body sliders, it’s damn time we get them. Mounts that actually make a difference! Let staves blades make damage in combat, I’M BEGGING HERE. Combined classes, MAGICAL ROGUES! A homebase we can fix up/build on/redecorate as fully as possible (Skyhold was great and i love it to pieces but why were those walls NEVER repaired????) . More casual outfit options, idk i love to dress up my characters, maybe some transmog? A day/night cycle and please i would love to see Thedas’ second moon, also weather variations depending on the region. Yes, i’m ambitious.

Gameplay: i’d like more AI options for companions, but not quite like in DAO, that was too much and i rarely used it. I’m curious how they’ll do combat this time but i know for sure i don’t want the kind of combat that has me going almost frame by frame pausing at every second, it’s annoying for me. I want large areas like in DAI but with a bit more stuff to see and do although one of my favourite maps is the Hissing Wastes so i won’t complain if we get a literal desert but i’d also like it to have secrets hidden around, make me work to find and solve them, i love exploring, i jump and click on EVERYTHING like i’m still a kid playing Monkey Island. A companion in concept art seems to be holding what looks like some form of rifle, so i’m curious how they’d incorporate that in the game. I know Tevinter has the magics and dwarves have the skill, a firearm is totally within the possibilities in-game without breaking any lore; also super curious what sort of skill trees Crows or Lords of Fortune could have, are they rogues, or warriors, or both??

So far, that’s what i got in my head.Well, most of it anyways, i may have missed something but this post has to end somewhere lol

What’s in your head? Feel free to share! Have you been thinking on how you’ll create your next protagonist? All i can think of is magical rogues and that  glowing bow was all the hype i needed.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x06 “Optimism”

bisexual DEAN + COCKS, I cannot believe that actually happened

02:03pm

i’m a day late but SO READY

charlie and sam!!!! i saw a couple promos, one with a screaming girl and jack and dean (oh whoop just typing that makes me think of the youtube duo jack & dean, somehow i never noticed that before??)

i’m having trouble looking at screens and stuff (vestibulitis, i believe) so i’m nauseous and dizzy, and just gonna take breaks as needed~

-

02:07

rEALLY like the visual and sound edits on the recap !!!

......one minute later as the recap ends, i realise how ridiculous it is that i’m like “hey!!! the people who make this show professionally actually made something good!!!”

-

02:09

............ARE THEY KIDDING

ANOTHER ONE???? STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT????

YEAH OKAY

I’M HERE FOR IT

-

02:10

AND THE MICHAEL HAT

what is going on

old man clearly has the hearteyes for the girl who says hello EVERY SINGLE DAY ..... just sayin

-

02:12

am i just gonna see this entire season as a series of destiel aus now??? because now girl-cas is sorting books in the library and i am PUMPED

you sort those books girl!!!!! yeah!!!!!

-

02:13

the frills on her shirt look like wings

uuugrhguh i love this ??? because in a weird way it’s soooo damn close to seeing cas in a different costume

WISHLIST: PUT MISHA IN A FRILLY SHIRT

also adoring the fact they’re just going full-out with telling stories through fashion here.

like. i am a fan

-

02:16

“arbour, it’s me!!!”

“winston, god”

wait wait i gotta check who wrote this.

ahh steve yockey, good

i checked because i was like “wait, that doesn’t seem like the deadly duo writing style, or name choice”

now it makes sense

.........well her name was harper but close enough

-

02:18

how dare all three of these incredibly white people be so cute? why

-

02:20

wiNSTON IS THE CUTEST MOST ADORABLE HUMAN ON THIS PLANET

but given the nature of this show, that makes me suspect he’s a vampire or something

-

02:21

ohhhhkay that’s the music and the sequence from that spider man movie

-

02:22

now i think he’s gonna die

-

like. immediately

he’s gonna get hit by a car or something

oh god i can’t look

-

02:23

................................yup

-

02:26

jack: “maybe i’m allergic to sitting around doing nothing”

he is so much like cas

-

02:26

dean: “cas is an insurance policy on those hunts”

OH GOD NOW I JUST REALISED HOW BADLY I WANT AN EPISODE OF JUST CAS HUNTING BY HIMSELF AND SOLVING A CASE ALL BY HIMSELF

also with jack. and with dean and sam. but CAS ALL BY HIMSELF

-

02:28

h e l p

-

02:29

jack: “we can be hunting buddies!!”

dean: “okay. A) don’t call it that--”

that little nervous huff though

WHY DEAN? IS THAT WHAT YOU AND CAS CALL EACH OTHER WHEN YOU NEED TIME ALONE? “HUNTING BUDDIES”

-

02:33

“DICK’S RED ROOSTER DINER”

tell me that doesn’t sound like five-star “eat some penis cock here” signage

and dean drives up with his manly phallic symbol

-

02:37

i love this woman for making dean make this face

-

02:38

I GASPED OUT LOUD

ANYONE WHO DOUBTED ME ON THE PHALLIC DINER NAME BEING A BISEXUAL DEAN THING, CASE IN POINT

THAT IS THE MOST PHALLIC NON-PENIS OBJECT I HAVE EVER SEEN

(i have so many questions. did someone find it in a thrift store and keep it for years until they found the right way to use it? did they get it made specially? THAT THING EXISTED FOR THIS EXACT PURPOSE)

THERE’S A CAKE RIGHT THERE, WHICH IS A DEAN-LIKES-MEN THING (VS. DEAN-LIKES-WOMEN BEING PIE)

AND HE PUSHES IT AWAY WHEN THE LADY IS LIKE “DATING VS SEX, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE THE SEX”

DEAN RESISTS THE SEX WITH MEN BECAUSE HE WANTS COURTING & DATING FIRST

WITH CAS

BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK ELSE

I am dying 

this symbolism is killing me

great!!!! i want to place an order for 3000 more of these please, thank you, i’ll pay in cash

fyi there is no doubt in my mind that dean is bi and knows it. he’s written as bi, the writers know it, the directors know it, the set decorators know it, and jensen knows it (he’s intelligent and he has a dirty mind, he knows exactly what that cock means. like, neither dean or jensen need need to know what “bi” means or remember what the flag looks like to know the concept and experience occasional attraction to men as a part of his personality)

-

02:52

sam: “that wing man was you”

charlie: “no it wasn’t”

rainbow in the background behind charlie’s head

no worries, she may be a different person but she’s still gay af

-

02:53

the love of charlie’s life was kara/cara

i’m taking notes

C UPCAKE BaKERY !!!

-

02:55

oh “tara” not kara or cara

.......oh man that is the worst backstory :c

-

02:57

trust dean to be surrounded by cocks and be like “but i like pie women”

shoutout to that lil pink sugar box on the left

-

02:59

headcanon: dean sniffs cocks before he puts them in his mouth

BUT SERIOUSLY THEY HAD HIM PUT A COCK IN HIS MOUTH. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. VISUALLY. WE JUST SAW THAT HAPPEN WITH OUR OWN EYES.

WOMEN PIE IN ONE HAND AND MEN COCK IN THE OTHER ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I’M FUCKING REELING HERE

DEAN IS THE MOST BISEXUAL

HE STARTS WITH THE WOMEN PIE BUT THEN HE’S LIKE YEAH OKAY I’LL TRY THIS MEN COCK ... PRETTY GOOD YUP

I DIDN’T THINK THEY’D EVER TOP THE CAKE=MEN THING BUT THEY DID. THEY EVEN PUT THE CAKE AND THE COCK TOGETHER TO PAIR THEM TOGETHER AS SIMILAR METAPHORS (SEEN IN THAT EARLIER SCREENSHOT)

I’M NEVER TAKING CAPS LOCK OFF AGAIN

no but actually 911 hello yes this is obscene

-

sidenote, this is reminding me slightly of my destiel chicken au Roost

three guesses why

-

03:07

jack: “no, you back off, old man”

FOR SOME REASON I’M HARDCORE ROOTING FOR JACK RIGHT NOW

EVEN THOUGH THAT CLEARLY HURT DEAN’S FEELINGS

-

03:12

harper’s apartment is #2

two people, takes two to tango

two of cups in tarot is new love/romance/relationship/friendship

-

03:17

harper and jack getting along

was harper meant to be a cas parallel or was the trenchcoat just a visual thing at the start? because she wore a completely different coat when he brought jack to her place

i considered that her thing with the old man, paired with jack calling dean “old man” maybe made it a “dean’s getting older but cas is immortal” thing which makes me VERY SAD

-

did dean just call vance “archie” ? as in archie comics? as in riverdale?

-

i feel like there’s some form of symbolism in another man wrestling dean so he goes tumbling into a waterfall of romance novels

-

03:32

“a brass nail dipped in sugar water can kill it”

sooooooo... something brass covered in soda

(edit: or just shoot it, okie dokie)

-

03:37

harper: “it’s a little game we play”

well i mean... if you’re gonna be undead and magic, then this does seem like a fun kinky thing

seducing other boys and killing them

sure

-

03:45

dean: “you know, jack, you’re pretty smart sometimes”

yeah

i love them both <3

also when dean said “love gets crazier that that” i expected jack to ask dean if he’d ever been in love

-

03:47

OH MAN

that was a great episode 10/10 easily. my favourite episode from this season so far

my favourite part was dean + all the cocks

best part was sam comparing charlie to the musca and convincing her to stick around

i LOVED the two hunts, and getting to see two different teams doing unrelated things but enjoying both

i like that harper didn’t die

i love that charlie and sam saved the black guy and he didn’t die

idek what else to say, this was a fine piece of writing

and i can’t even complain about a lack of representation, really, since everyone besides dean/sam/jack either turned out dead or evil and that would just add to the representation problem

(BUT WHERE WAS CAS????????????? WHERE WAS CAS????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? LITERALLY DON’T EVEN KNOW)

I am worried about jack but know he’ll ultimately be fine

I WILL NEVER BE OVER THE BISEXUAL DEAN THING THOUGH

THAT WAS A PYRAMID OF PURE 22 CARAT GOLD AND I LOVE EVERYONE WHO HAD A HAND IN CREATING THAT FOREVER. especially director richard speight jr, since i have the feeling he mostly concocted this himself since it was 100% visual and maybe not even in the script and he’s done unscripted penis jokes before

[revengeworld]

Let the Past die. XV

Zombie Apocalypse AU

Kylo x Reader (+ Solo siblings)

Words: +2.200

Warnings: HORRIBLE written Fluff, Angst

AN: I think this is one of the worst written Chapters yet. :’D I hope you guys still enjoy it.I just had a huuuuuge writing block while working on this chapter. Let me know what you guys think!

MY MASTERLIST

REQUESTS

Previous Chapter - Burning Love

Chapter 15 - Home

Later then originally planned, the two of them were inside the snow covered mall. It looked extremly beautyfull but creepy at the same time when they thought about all the people that would normally stroll through here.

“The roof collapsed. We should be careful.” she whispered and Kylo nodded, looking around this abandoned place.

“So since we don´t really need to be worrying about biters in this cold. What do you want to do first?” Kylo had the widest gin on his face and already stomped through the snow to a distorted floor plan.

It was obvious that Kylo enjoyed to be on the road again, not being locked up in the hut.

“You know what? I let you decide.” she smiled, while kissing his cheek. Seeing him so excited warmed her heart even in this cold winter day.

Thinking silently for a moment it seemed like he had a sudden idea.

“Come on!” pulling her onto the snowy escalator, they carefully climbed the metal stairs.

“So what is your plan?” she asked while looking around the upper floor.

“Play pretend! Ready for Prom?” he grinned wide and she could only shake her head with a smile.

The first hours the both of them just walked around, looking into the windows and explored the shops while stealing kisses from each other.

Pulling her into a clothing shop, Y/N first thought they would just look for new clothes, especially for Ben, but when they were passing all the regular clothes she got suspicious.

“Uhm Kylo?”

“Just a little more.” he promised and soon they were surrounded by fancy clothes.

“We pick your prom dress!” he suddenly announced and twirled her around. Starting to giggle, she looked at all the fancy dresses in front of her.

“Are you serious?” she asked, letting her fingers run over the soft fabric of a red satin dress.

“Why not? Today is our Date, so why shouldn´t it be our Prom as well?” Kylo asked and pressed a gentle kiss against her temple.

“Today is our day. Let´s enjoy it.” he whispered into her ear and she could only grin.

“Let´s party!”

Grabbing everything they could carry, the soon wrecked the dressing rooms, trying on the weirdest combinations while laughing their heads off.

“God you look hideous.” Y/N tried to contain her laughter when she saw her boyfriend with a top hat.

“Look who is walking, Miss Mermaid!” he stalked around her and looked at the enormous gown.

“Did you pick anything yet?” he asked while unbuttoning a black shirt.

“Actually yes.” proudly holding up a simple black dress he smirked. She did fit it to his liking he knew that, but as long as she liked it too he was fine with it.

“You will look gorgeous! Take it,  and let´s look around a bit more, the had some good warm clothes up front. Maybe we can find something from the Wishlist.” he mumbled while pulling over his shirt and big flanel jacket.

“Sounds good to me. How about the Toystore on the corner.” she nodded and shouldered her backpack.

“And the CD Shop on the other side.” he added.

While they looked through the normal clothes, Y/N couldn´t hinder a sighed leaving her lungs. All these fashion clothes just a waste. The y weren´t even usable in anyway, even if they would try and make something new out of it.

Everything that could be slightly usable wandered into empty bags, and Y/N and Kylo were more then satisfied with the bigger clothes for Ben. There weren´t much with space prints but dinosaurs should be just as good.

When they slandered through the Music Store, it was like a flashback from an earlier life. Normally she would have hung out with her friends here, while trying to get the newest CD of their favourite Artists. But now this store was empty, filled with dust and things that would probably never been touched again by anyone when they would leave.

“What do you think of this one?” turning around to Kylo, who had called out to her, she saw him hold up a black new acoustic guitar.

“I think it´s a good replacement for your old one.” hugging him tightly she knew how much he missed his old one, which sadly got damaged.

Looking at his open big, she noticed the at least 20 CD cases. “Geez Kylo what are all those?” she giggled and wanted to reach out for one but he stopped her.

“Just… music….” he mumbled and quickly walked around her. Shrugging her shoulders she followed.

Exploring every store they could get into they soon noticed that it was already getting dark.

“Well at least we found the clothes we needed already.” she looked at the bags on the cargo bed of the truck and then back to the sky.

“Okay, then let´s look into this thing and then we go back for now.” Kylo swung a crowbar before returning inside the mall and up the escalator. Y/N followed slowly, watching Kylo turn a corner before she stopped in her tracks. Maybe it was just her imagination, but she thought she heard a scratching sound nearby.

When she wanted to call out to Kylo, he already came sliding around the corner. “RUN!”

For a moment she wasn´t sure if she believed her eyes, when she saw a bunch of dogs running after him. “Oh Fuck!!” turning on her heels the both of them were running as fast as they could.

“The escalators!” Kylo screamed before Y/N jumped on the middle part to slide it down, falling into the snow, she quickly jumped up before Kylo crashed right beside her, the dogs still on their heels.

“Get to the Truck quick!!” breaking through the doors she suddenly felt Kylos hand grabbing the back of her jeans before he tossed her onto their vehicle, landing next to her seconds after.

Catching their breaths, both of them soon started to laugh while the dogs circled the car. Not hearing anyone of them growl but more whimper they carefully looked over the edge.

“I think they are just hungry. We could spare some...” she suggested to Kylo who ruffled through her hair before he nodded.

Throwing the dogs the snacks the had kept for themselves, Kylo rummaged through his backpack to reveal another polaroid camera. Taking a few shots of the dogs and how Y/N feed them. Soon all of them left as a big group, jumping and playing around in the snow.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she almost didn´t recognize herself, even with the fancy, black long dress on. Half a year ago she probably would have tried to curl her hair and put nice make up on, but now the only thing she could to was to put up her hair with the pins she wound in a drug store and a bit of eyeliner.

“Can I come out now? Why did I even need to put it on now?” she sighed, disappointed that she couldn´t be prettier even if she wanted to.

Opening the bathroom door, Kylo grinned and looked her up and down.

“God you look so fucking hot...” he mumbled and it quickly put a smile back to her lips. “Even though I prefer your biter slayer look.” gently hitting him against his shoulder he slowly pulled her into the living room.

“Wow...” she could only breath while looking around. He had barricaded all the windows so that the light from the at least 50 candles wouldn´t be noticed from outside, while soft music was echoing through the room.

“It´s not ideal, I know. But it´s … some kind of prom?” nervous he scratched his neck while he looked on the floor.

“I love it...” she whispered while cuddling up against his chest. “Thank you.”

“When did you came up with this?” taking her hands he only shrugged with his shoulders.

“I don´t know, it just came to my head.” starting to slowly sway to the music she gently laid her arms around his neck.

Pulling her closer, the two of them slowly danced to the quiet music in the background.

Laying her head against his chest, Y/N closed her eyes, just enjoying this normal moment, before a weird pop song started to play.

“Oh my God, I didn´t know that they were such horrible fucking songs on this fucking CD.” Kylo quickly apologized and changed the music.

“I don´t care which music is playing just come here!” stretching out her arms, he soon returned to her before pressing light kisses against her lips.

Stretching under the warm blanket, Y/N wrapped her arms around Kylos large Torso before opening her Eyes.

“Kylo?” sighing she tried to take a look out the window but he was holding her down.

Growling he tried to bury her again under the blanket, but she was having none of it this time. Since about three days they had all the stuff they needed and normally they would have returned already, but somehow Kylo managed to persuade her to stay a little longer.

“I go take a shower and after that, we should plan, okay?” she whispered and showered him with little kisses all over his face.

“Yeah… sure, whatever.” Kylo pulled his pillow closer and pressed his face in it.

Shaking her head with a smile, Y/N searched for clean clothes before retreating into the bathroom.

Suddenly hearing screams, Kylo opened his eyes again, had he dozed off before the faint scream became more prominent and his head snapped up.

“Y/N?!” calling for her he didn´t got an answer. Stumbling onto his feet, the screams became louder and louder by the second.

“Y/N answer!” he screamed through the House and hasty looked into every room before he came to the locked bathroom door, the screams now so loud that they were ringing in his ears.

“Y/N are you okay?!” rattling at the door, panic was rising in his chest when she didn´t answer. “Open the damn door!! Come one sweetheart!!” his heart started to race and the screams became more and more painful. Not being able to see another way, Kylo started to punch the wooden door until a gaping hole had formed, on the other side was Y/N looking shocked at him.

“Are you okay? I...I heard you screaming ...” he suddenly mumbled until he noticed her scared look. His eyes suddenly widening in realisation. She hadn´t screamed and she wasn´t in any danger.

Closing his Eyes he pushed the hair, that had falling in his face, back. It was all in his imagination. The moment he woke up and she wasn´t around his mind had instantly switched to the night were this bastard was dragging her away, being forced to listen to her screams while he couldn´t help her, they were burned into his mind.

Catching her breath, Y/N was watching Kylo closely while pulling back on her sweatshirt, before opening the destroyed door.

Cupping his face, she looked in to his eyes which were focused on the floor in horror.

“It´s okay...” she whispered, realising that he probably had a panic attack.

“Kylo look at me!” sternly lifting his chin, his eyes which were filling up with tears met hers. “You need to breath, come on.” taking a deep breath herself, he soon joined her, even though his were extremely shaky.

But soon both of them took deep and long breaths together and he seemed to calm down.

“We are fine Kylo. Nobody is hurting us anymore.” Y/N tried to reassure him and could hear him repeat her words quietly.

Smiling at him she carefully left small kisses on his cheek before pressing a final long one on his lips.

“How about you join me in the bathtub? Then you don´t have to be scared to loose me.”

Feeling his hand on her neck, Y/N let him pull her into another kiss before he slowly nodded.

“Y/N I ...” laying a finger on his lips, she leaned her forehead against his. “It´s okay.” Hugging his Torso tightly the two of them just stood there a few moments while embracing each other.

Leaning against his bare chest, Y/N was staring down at there connected hands.

“We really should go home.” feeling Kylo push his head against the back of her shoulder she sighed.

“I know you rather would stay a little longer, but you are worried otherwise you wouldn´t just had that panic attack. And I´m worried too.”

He knew she was right, even though he didn´t want to admit it.

“I know...” he finally agreed and hugged her tighter.

“Besides, Ben will hate us if we don´t show up with his stuff soon” hearing his soft chuckle, Y/N looked over her shoulder and pressed a long kiss on his cheek.

“You know what?” she suddenly asked and turned around in the bathtub. “Maybe you should get a white beard, you could be Santa.” she giggled while putting foam on his beard and hair.

“You little...” grabbing her by her hip, he started to tickle her while she tried to fend of his hands with a laugh.

At the end both of them were totally covered in foam, laughing at each other at how ridiculous they looked, before Kylo was wiping her face clean, gently stroking over her cheek.

“Yeah, let´s go home.”

Tags: @karma-jolie @hungrymango @sdavid09 @attorneyl @celestiaelisia @zoemonster200 @marveloussirens11 @plethora-of-things @ayatimascd @ghostslikemydoubts

[tink-bell]

Name: 

Jaby/Mom

Characters: 

Tink Bell (closed rip), Rita Saluki-Sykes, Duchess LaBlanc, DeSoto Sykes, Adam Best, Soleil (closed rip)

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now? 

Tink Bell: These three years have been one hell of a roller coaster for Tink. It seems like just yesterday I was writing my town alcoholic hell-bent on having a good time even though inside she was a mess. When we first saw Tink, she was your typical punk-rock rebel without a cause. Her idea of a good time was a good lay, a bottle of tequila, and whatever drugs she could find. She was an absolute mess. And as the years progressed we saw Tink sort of lose herself. She got lost in the bottle and the drugs and the dark spiral that was her mind. She lost some good friends (Simba) in the process and made some unexpected ones (Copper, I’m talkin’ about you). But like a phoenix she rose from the ashes and repaired herself and those friendships she lost. She got an amazing girlfriend who literally went through hell and back with her (pun intended). And now as the year closes, so does this chapter of Tink’s life. Her life of adventure with Sophie is starting and it’s the ending I always wanted for Tink. Cue girl walking into the sunset with a bag slung over her shoulder ready to take on the world.

Adam Best: My babe I’ve had the second longest, not counting the time I dropped him for personal reasons. He’s also a character that has been through a lot. We’ve seen Adam be the surly young man who only wants to punish himself for all the death and destruction he’d caused. He was grappling with the loss of his parents and the loss of his first serious girlfriend. That’s a lot for a dude. He made mistakes, hurt people he grew to care about. Then he got himself a best friend and then a boyfriend and things were looking up for our dear Adam. Then Jaby had an existential life crisis and all that went to shit. Adam found a journal that said you could get rid of the curse by killing the wolf that killed you and guess what? Adam went to Greece and got his ass kicked. But it was a brand new starting point for me and my boy. It allowed me to delve into Adam’s need for a normal human life and try to figure out a way to reconcile it with the fact he will never have that. I expected Adam to remain very surly when I picked him back up and to an extent he has. But he’s also moved away from that. He’s no longer filled with the same angst. Instead it’s changed and evolved into something so much more. He’s no longer mourning his parents and Jennifer but instead mourning the life he’ll never get to have. It’s something I never expected from him and I’m honestly very excited to see where it takes us.

Pick another character and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? 

DeSoto Sykes: Ugh man, I have so much planned for DeSoto. Lauren and I have actually talked out a lot with these brothers and where we want them to end up. I know he’s going to stay a big presence in Swynlake. I’d love for him to become one of the big kingpins in town. It would be hilarious because that’s what his father was back in New York and it’s what he’s been running from for nearly three years. I want him to grow and realize that having people you care about isn’t necessarily a weakness. Des has a long long way to go and his story is far from over.

Rita Saluki-Sykes: It’s no secret that Rita has become my loudest muse, slowly taking the place of Tink if I’m honest. I’ve only had her for a year or so but she’s already been put through the ringer. Her marriage went from one of necessity to one that was almost over to finally something that resembles what she’s always wanted. Even more so now that she’s got her own little kiddo on the way. I’d like to see Rita settle into that mother role. From what we’ve seen she enjoys the night life, partying and eating up all the attention she can get. But with her little one all that is going to change and she’s going to have to become that mother figure. And she’s going to have to balance care and attention for Ollie with the new baby. It’ll be interesting to see how she juggles being a businesswoman, wife, and mother.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it.  

UHM HELLO INTO THE FOREST. Two years ago I did one of these and said how I wanted Soleil to tap into her powers and channel her rage and this is the result of that. This plot was hands down my favorite plot I’ve ever done. It gave me a chance to break Soleil down to her darkest depths, fueled by the loss of Zero and then the fact KNIGHTS or whatever were hurting things in her forest. It was a slow burn plot and one that took a lot of work from everyone involved and it culminated into the best thing I’ve ever witnessed.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths.

Voice. I still think voice is something that I have a good grasp on when it comes to my characters. From Rita’s and DeSoto’s New York accents to Duchess’ French lilt and prim and proper upbringing, I think it’s something that shows distinctly in my writing.

Villains. I love my villains, I love devling into their minds and figuring out what makes them tick. And I’m tooting my own horn when I say that I’m pretty damn good at it. From Taka to Oogie (however brief he may have been), I’ve brought some pretty interesting villains to BDRP and I hope to continue to do so. I’ve got a few character ideas at the ready that I am more than eager to bring to life.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

Plotting! I am the absolute worst when it comes to coming up and approaching people with plots. And I think a big part of that is because I really love for things to develop organically. I’m not one to nudge my characters into something I’m not sure of. I need to break out of that so that I can actually accomplish some of the things I want to for my characters.

Direction. It’s easy for me to lose direction when writing. A reply will start off as one thing and then before I know it it’s shifted to something else entirely. It makes writing an arduous process and often irritating. 

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. (For example, if I picked Apollo, reading “Akata Witch,” “Children of Blood and Bone,” “Trials of Apollo” series, and Homer’s Iliad might provide inspiration for different reasons– the former two for Nigerian culture and magic and the latter two for a deeper look at Greek Mythology. No, you don’t have to have read these books– maybe you just want to read them!)

Okay so picking Soleil’s forest takedown these are the things I’d look into:

Batman comics featuring Poison Ivy - Mainly because Poison Ivy is one of the few female baddies that have the same sort of magic that Soleil has. And she’s gone down Soleil’s path of wanting to take over the world with plants. It’d be a way to get inside of angry Soleil’s mind.

BtVS s6ep22 “Grave” - This is actually the episode of Buffy that sparked this desire to have Soleil go down that path of evil. It was a possible ending for Soleil in which she didn’t turn into a tree and feed her magic to Enchantra as a way to make amends. This episode showed the power of true love (even if that love is platonic) and how it can stop evil. And it was something that I had wanted to experiment with in Soleil.

The Master Book of Herbalism - Okay this book would give insight to what Soleil did. How, even before she was the spring sprite, she had a vast knowledge of plants and how to use them. 

And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

F O R B I D D E N RO M A N C E- like please guys, you don’t know how badly I want one of these. What’s more drama filled than two people who should not be together at all? C’moooooooooooon Drugs- I have always always been involved in the drug scene in Swynlake. Taka, Lock, Tink, and now Des. I love fucking people up with drugs and exploring those motivations. Coffee shop au type romance/bromance Slow burn, something that starts as nothing and then sooooo slowly turns to something more Friendships Frenemies

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

I RP because it’s still my escape. I enjoy it more than I enjoy most things. It gives me an outlet to channel whatever it is I’m feeling and don’t we all need that. Not to mention Mk and Lauryl own my soul at this point and there is no hopes of me ever actually leaving this place.

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

My Snowbaz Fanfic Masterlist

Alright so the mobile site has messed up my previous masterlist on the app (idk what happened), so I'm making this post. My fanfics will live here from now on. Feel free to peruse :) Also find me on AO3 here

Part of Your World

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 41274

Summary: Simon is a young merman fascinated with the land above. He dreams of living in that incredible world. When he meets a human prince, those dreams suddenly become even more desirable.

Chapters (11/11) 1: a life below and the world above 2: a birthday to remember 3: forbidden 4: poor unfortunate simon 5: suddenly i saw you 6: the day together 7: kiss the boy 8: you and me against the world 9: falling apart 10: the storm above us 11: together in our world

After a Long Day

Rating: G

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 344

Summary: Simon’s had a long day and he comes home to Baz.

Just A Friend Date

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Light angst

Word count: 6219

Summary: Simon and Baz are best friends. So when Simon needs a date for a dance, Baz steps up. But something else is bubbling under the surface. Based on “first kiss” request.

Night Time in NYC

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 3645

Summary: Simon has no sense of direction and ends up lost in his recent home city of New York. But a helpful stranger offers to get him home. Based on “kiss that was regretted/more than one kiss” request.

The Sailor and The Siren

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 10300

Summary:  Simon has lived on a ship his entire life. But everything changes when someone mysterious saves him from a storm. Based on “steamy underwater kiss” request.

Carry On Countdown 2017

1: At Watford 2: Social Media 4: Rainy Day 5: Dreams 6: Angst Day 9: Flowers 10: Song Inspired 11: Catching a Cold 12: Side Characters 14: Disney/Fairytale Retelling 15: Pets/Animals 16. Crossover Day 18. Stuck Together 19. Late Nights/Early Mornings 22. Opposite Day 23. Cooking/Baking 24. Stars (Children Part 1) 25. Christmas Decorating (Children Part 2) 26. Family (Children Part 3) 27. Snowy Day (Children Part 4) 28. Letters to Santa/Christmas Wishlists (Children Part 5) 29. Christmas Presents (Children Part 6) 30. Anniversaries (Children Part 7)

The Morning After

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1376

Summary: It’s the morning after one the biggest days of their lives. And nothing could be better. Based off “kiss on the back” request.

California Beach

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count:  3781

Summary: Baz and Simon go to the beach, much to Baz’s reluctance. Based on “underwater kiss” request.

Rough Day

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3055

Summary: After a hard day at work, Baz comes home to one more wonderful disaster. Based on “playful kiss” request on Tumblr.

Office Crush

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff and light angst

Word Count: 4385

CW: Alcohol

Summary: Baz has been pining after his boss’ son for ages. Office crushes are just the worst, huh? Based on “a kiss given to the wrong person” request.

New Friend

Rating: G

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2309

Summary: Baz Pitch gets dragged to his mum’s coworker’s kids’s birthday party. He doesn’t know anyone there. But there’s always opportunities to make new friends. Based on “platonic kiss” request.

Mystery Man

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 5077

Summary: Deciding to be more social, Simon goes to a masquerade ball fundraiser. Based on “shy kiss” to “steamy kiss” request.

Party in the Wavering Wood

Rating: T

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word Count: 5427

CW: Alcohol

Summary: 15 year old Simon Snow gets an invite to a party, where his longtime crush will be. Unfortunately his longtime enemy decides to make an appearance too. Based on “spin the bottle” kiss prompt

Locked Away in a Tower

Rating: T

Genre: Angst and fluff

Word Count:  6576

Summary: Prince Simon of Watford has been kidnapped and guarded by a dragon for a year. Sir Basilton is sick of watching others fail to rescue him. Based on “supernatural kiss” prompt.

Warmth

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count:  1233

Summary: Baz wakes up very cold.  Based on “steamy kiss” from Askfic Kiss Meme.

Furry Little Friend

Rating: G

Genre: Fluff

Word Count:  1682

Summary:  Simon and Baz decide to get a new addition to their household. Based on “adopting a pet” prompt from anonymous

Truth or Dare

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3127

Summary: Simon (regrettably) decided to go to a party. Of course his prick roommate is there. Based on “First Kiss” prompt from anonymous.

Agatha is Visiting

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count:  2504

Summary: Agatha comes for dinner at the Snow-Bunce flat over a year after the Christmas Incident. Based on the sentence prompt “I was really hoping someone would state the obvious” from @xyalovegood

Shut Up and Dance

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1080

Summary: Baz sees a beautiful man at the club. Deep in his eyes, he thinks he can see a future.  Based on “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon.

Pride

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 4334

Summary: Simon and Baz decide to go to London Pride.

I Must be a Masochist

Rating: T

Genre: Angst

Word count: 596

Summary:  Of all the people Baz could fall in love with, it had to be him. The one person he could never have.

Alive

Rating: T

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word Count: 1311

CW: Major character death

Summary:  Baz is running. He needs to go somewhere. He needs to find someone.

Drunken Singing

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 2534

CW: Alcohol use, drunknness

Summary: Simon Snow is a horrific singer. And alcohol only exacerbates that fact.

Skyping from America

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 495

Summary: Micah Skype calls Penny one night. But not all is quiet in the Bunce-Snow flat.

Roommates

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1233

Summary: Penny has to do a project with a girl from her class.

[thornstocutyouwith]

✰╯ꉓꌩꌗ꓄ꍟꈤꈤꀤꈤ ꉓꍏ꒒꒒ꀎꎭ ꌃꋪꍏꈤꅏꍟꈤ╰✰

Technician/Vocals

Theme Song

𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

﹄☆✮Full Name: Cystennin Callum Branwen

﹄☆✮Pronunciation: KihSTEHN-ahN Cay(Kal)-lum (Alternatively Caelum) BRAHN-wen ﹄☆✮Nickname/Alias: Bran (Brahn) ﹄☆✮Meaning: Cystennin means: Constant. Callum means: Dove. Branwen means: Beautiful Raven. ﹄☆✮Pet Name: ﹄☆✮Signature: 

﹄☆✮Gender: Male ﹄☆✮Orientation: Undecided ﹄☆✮Real Age: Nineteen ﹄☆✮Age Appearance: ﹄☆✮Birthday: February 20, 1998 ﹄☆✮Deathday: July 2nd, 20XX ﹄☆✮Birthplace: Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch, Wales ﹄☆✮Faceclaim: Dylan O'Brien ﹄☆✮Zodiac Sign(Western/Eastern): Pisces - Aquarius Cusp, (Earth) Tiger

𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥

﹄☆✮Biography:

﹄☆✮Parenting: His parents were great, they loved him to pieces. He was always well-taken care off and often times babied as a child. His father always made sure to spend time with him at least once a day and wasn't shy about telling Callum he had loved him. The same with his mother, Cystennin always took their main priority over all. ﹄☆✮Upbringing: Christian Ideals and Morals, but not strict. Paganistic morals and ideals. ﹄☆✮Infancy: Callum was good baby, his mother and father didn't drop him or anything. He was very well behaved and intelligent. It didn't seem to take him much time to pick up on things and learn quickly. ﹄☆✮Childhood: Callum was quite reserved as a child. He liked to be by himself and just explore the world around him at times. He was endlessly fascinated by anything he could see. ﹄☆✮Adolescence: In his early teens Callum had started getting more interested in other things, these interests lead him to work on things with his hands. Taking apart stuff, or building something from nothing, almost. He really got into all sorts of sciences and such. His classwork often times would suffer because he was just never interested in it. He'd rather learn things on his own, of his own want, rather than that of a teacher's. He also began to get into writing at this time and started working on his first book. ﹄☆✮Adulthood: Callum is only 19 and has just started his adult life, but he has accomplished plenty in this short time. He has sold a relatively successful book of a series he's still working on today. Though between writing sessions he helps bands touring with their technical work. Which he also enjoys doing. ﹄☆✮Coming of Age: Callum has always had a very responsible attitude about certain things, growing up. But the moment he 'grew up' is when he moved out and started living away from his parents. ﹄☆✮Evolution: Callum hasn't really changed much at all growing up, he has kept his innocent, reserved, curiousness throughout the years. For the most part he has become more childish and playful the more the years go by. ﹄☆✮Current Residence: Sunnyvale, California ﹄☆✮Funds: He has $50 on him, $3569.48 At home, $2400 at the bank ﹄☆✮Home: His apartment is relatively neat, but does have some mess here and there, like clothing and books, and such. ﹄☆✮Neighborhood: Callum thinks they are friendly, but he's never really talked much with his neighbors. Though the entire place is very well kept since it's a very decent place to live. ﹄☆✮Transportation: Kawasaki Ninja ﹄☆✮License Plate Number:

﹄☆✮Occupation: Author/ Technician/ Back up Vocals  ﹄☆✮Work Ethnic: Callum works enthusiastically, he loves what he's doing. Though of course some days can be a complete drag. ﹄☆✮Rank: He is mostly self-employed, so he is the highest rank. ﹄☆✮Income: ﹄☆✮Wealth Status: Middle-Upperclass ﹄☆✮Experience: Assistant Engineer, Engineering, Art Model ﹄☆✮Organizations/Affiliations:

﹄☆✮IQ: 127 ﹄☆✮Education: His parents didn't trust schools to give him a proper education. Though they had sent him to one they viewed as 'fair' while also having him doing extra work at home every so often, outside of his regular school work. ﹄☆✮School: Callum's school was a private school so it could be seen as better than at the very least most public schools. ﹄☆✮Grades: Callum got the highest grades just as much as he did the lowest, he didn't care much for school at all. ﹄☆✮Special Education: Early in life Callum skipped two grades. ﹄☆✮Social Stereotype: He never really had one. ﹄☆✮Degrees: Highschool ﹄☆✮Intelligence: Interpersonal ﹄☆✮Extracurricular Activities: Art, Music, Home Ec

﹄☆✮Religion: Peganism ﹄☆✮Morals: ﹄☆✮Crime Record: Has not been caught breaking any laws. ﹄☆✮Motivation: Reputation ﹄☆✮Priorities: Family, Writing, friends ﹄☆✮Philosophy: Individualism ﹄☆✮Political Party: ﹄☆✮Etiquette: Callum has relatively decent manners, there are some areas where he might be lacking though. ﹄☆✮Culture: American, Welsh, Scottish, and Pegan ﹄☆✮Influences: ﹄☆✮Relates to: ﹄☆✮Traditions: Welsh and Pegan mostly ﹄☆✮Superstitions:

﹄☆✮Main Goal: Becoming a popular author. ﹄☆✮Minor Goals/Ambitions: ﹄☆✮Career: Being an Author ﹄☆✮Desires: ﹄☆✮Wishlist: ﹄☆✮Accomplishments: Became an author. ﹄☆✮Greatest Achievement: ﹄☆✮Biggest Failure: Not paying being interested enough in school to fulfill his full potential. ﹄☆✮Secrets: ﹄☆✮Regrets: Not getting more interested in school. ﹄☆✮Worries: ﹄☆✮Best Dream: ﹄☆✮Worst Nightmare: ﹄☆✮Best Memories: ﹄☆✮Worst Memories:

﹄☆✮Languages: English, Cymraeg, Gaelic ﹄☆✮Accent: Thick blend of British, Welsh and Scottish, accents. Untainted, despite the years he has been in america. ﹄☆✮Voice: Medium pitched, soft yet penatrating and elegant. ﹄☆✮Speech Impediments: Bad stutter ﹄☆✮Greetings and Farewells: ﹄☆✮State of Mind: ﹄☆✮Compliment: ﹄☆✮Insult: ﹄☆✮Expletive: Shiiit! ﹄☆✮Laughter: ﹄☆✮Tag Line: "Um." ﹄☆✮Signature Quote:

﹄☆✮Reputation: Many people know of him as a New Author ﹄☆✮First Impressions: Shy and quiet, but also friendly. ﹄☆✮Stranger Impressions: ﹄☆✮Friendly Impressions: ﹄☆✮Enemy Impressions: ﹄☆✮Familiar Impressions: ﹄☆✮Compliments: ﹄☆✮Insults: ﹄☆✮Self-Impression:

🅟🅔🅡🅢🅞🅝🅐🅛🅘🅣🅨

﹄☆✮Strengths:

+++ IMAGINATIVE: having or showing creativity or inventiveness +++ THOUGHTFUL: showing careful consideration or attention. +++ METICULOUS: showing great attention to detail; very careful and precise. +++ SAGE: having, showing, or indicating profound wisdom +++ BALANCED: keeping or showing a balance; arranged in good proportions. +++ HELPFUL: giving or ready to give help. +++ PERSUIASIVE: good at persuading someone to do or believe something through reasoning or the use of temptation. +++ BENEVOLENT: well meaning and kindly. +++ DEBONAIR: confident, stylish, and charming. +++ AMBITIOUS: having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed.

﹄☆✮Flaws:

--- UNPREDICTABLE: not able to be predicted. --- CHILDISH: silly and immature. --- MANIPULATIVE: characterized by unscrupulous control of a situation or person. --- ODD: different from what is usual or expected; strange. --- CONFIDENTIAL: intended to be kept secret. --- UNDEMANDING: not demanding --- HYPNOTIC: exerting a compelling, fascinating, or soporific effect --- SHY: being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people. --- CLUMSY: awkward in movement or in handling things. --- EXPERIMENTAL: involving a radically new and innovative style.

﹄☆✮Perception: ﹄☆✮Conflicts: ﹄☆✮Instincts: ﹄☆✮Lures: Sweets, Animals, Libraries, The Woods ﹄☆✮Soft Spot: The injured/upset ﹄☆✮Cruel Streak: Jerks ﹄☆✮Mood: Quiet and content ﹄☆✮Attitude: Shy but friendly ﹄☆✮Stability: Quite emotionally stable ﹄☆✮Expressiveness: Sometimes they are extremely expressive, other times they aren't. ﹄☆✮When Happy: ﹄☆✮When Depressed: ﹄☆✮When Angry: 

𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡𝕤

﹄☆✮Immediate Family: Andras Branwen ( Father ), Nathaira Branwen (Mother) ﹄☆✮Distant Family:

﹄☆✮Community: ﹄☆✮Family: ﹄☆✮Friends: Addison ( Best Friend!) ﹄☆✮Enemies: ﹄☆✮Bosses: ﹄☆✮Followers: ﹄☆✮Heroes: ﹄☆✮Rivals: ﹄☆✮Relates to: ﹄☆✮Pets/Familiars:

﹄☆✮Lovers: ﹄☆✮Marital Status: 

𝕡𝕙𝕪𝕤𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝

﹄☆✮Species: Human ﹄☆✮Ethnicity: European ﹄☆✮Blood Type: O ﹄☆✮Preferred Hand: Ambidextrous, but Left preferent. ﹄☆✮Eye Color: Amber ﹄☆✮Hair Color: Dark brown ﹄☆✮Hairstyle: Hair ﹄☆✮Skin Tone: ﹄☆✮Complexion: ﹄☆✮Build: Lean, Average ﹄☆✮Height: 5'11" ﹄☆✮Weight: 123 ﹄☆✮Facial Hair: ﹄☆✮Birthmarks/scars: Moles/birthmarks all over body. Scar on his right temple from a childhood accident. ﹄☆✮Distinguishing Features:

﹄☆✮Health: Quite healthy ﹄☆✮Energy: Can be seen as very energetic. ﹄☆✮Memory: Callum can remember things pretty well, mostly when it's about a subject he's really interested in. ﹄☆✮Senses: Callum has somewhat bad eyesight, but he can hear things extremely well. ﹄☆✮Allergies: ﹄☆✮Handicaps: ﹄☆✮Medication: antidepressants, antipsychotics, ﹄☆✮Phobias: Spheksophobia ( Fear of Wasps), Sciophobia (Fear of Shadows), Hemophobia (Fear of Blood), Coimetrophobia ( Fear of Cemetaries), Aphenphosmphobia ( Fear of being touched), Cynophobia ( Fear of dogs/Rabies), Merinthophobia ( Fear of being bound or tied up), Pupaphobia (Fear of Puppets), Psellismophobia ( Fear of Stuttering), Poinephobia ( Fear of Punishment), Pediophobia ( Fear of Dolls), Nyctophobia ( Fear of the dark, or of night.), Gelotophobia ( Fear of being laughed at), Emetophobia ( Fear of Vomiting), Dystychiphobia ( Fear of Accidents), Dishabiliophobia ( Fear of undressing in front of someone), Cleithrophobia (Fear of being locked in an enclosed space) ﹄☆✮Addictions: ﹄☆✮Mental Disorders: Schizophreniform disorder, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder

﹄☆✮Style: Casual, professional, loose fitting clothing. ﹄☆✮Mode of Dress: Often times somewhere between well kept to messy, except on off days, where it could be one extreme or the other. ﹄☆✮Grooming: Also often times somewhere between well kept to messy, except on off days, where it could be one extreme or the other. ﹄☆✮Posture: Stands mostly straight and proper ﹄☆✮Gait: ﹄☆✮Coordination: He has great reflex's but bad exicutions of movement at times, which makes him seem quite clumsy. ﹄☆✮Scent: Earthy rose and rain smell 

𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕩𝕥𝕣𝕒 𝕓𝕚𝕥𝕤

﹄☆✮Habits and Mannerisms: (Any nervous ticks or unconscious habits your character might have. Ex: Nail biting, crosses arms, or twirls hair)

﹄☆✮Wardrobe: (Describe your character's closet. What is their formal, casual, or other kind of wear?) ﹄☆✮Accessories: (Tattoos, piercing, jewelry, glasses, ect.) ﹄☆✮Trinkets: (Applies to but not limited to good luck charms, purses, watches, or any other items they carry with them almost all the time.) ﹄☆✮Collections: (Does your character like to hoard or collect anything?) ﹄☆✮Most valuable possession: (In money)

﹄☆✮Prized Possession: (What object does your character value above all else?) ﹄☆✮Sex Life: (Pretty self explanatory) ﹄☆✮Turn-Ons: (What does your character want to see in their ideal mate?) ﹄☆✮Turn Offs: (What tends to make them back off) ﹄☆✮Position: (Dom/Sub) ﹄☆✮Plays: (Bondage, roleplay, ect.) ﹄☆✮Fetishes: (Self Explanatory) ﹄☆✮Virginity: (How many times have they "done it"?)

﹄☆✮Element: (Fire/Water/Air/Earth)

﹄☆✮Hobbies/Interests: (What does your character like to do for fun?) ﹄☆✮Skills/Talents: (Similar to hobbies, but refers to the level of skill a character has. For example, a character could like playing violin but isn't very good at it or vice versa.) ﹄☆✮Likes: (What does your character like?) ﹄☆✮Dislikes: (What can't they stand?) ﹄☆✮Sense of Humor: (Dark/dry/witty/sarcastic/dirty/childish/sophisticated/ironic) ﹄☆✮Pet Peeves: (Similar to dislikes, only more relating to human behavior than specific objects. Ex: When people tap on things or when people say "You're not fat!" when you really are) ﹄☆✮Superstitions/Beliefs: (Does your character believe in conspiracy theories or aliens? Do they throw salt over their shoulder or knock on wood?) ﹄☆✮Dreams/Nightmares: (What do they dream about? [at night]) ﹄☆✮Quirks: (The strange little things that your character does to make them unique. Ex: Sleeps with their feet on the pillow or runs their hand along a pole as they walk beside it.) ﹄☆✮Savvy: (What is your character particularly well-informed of? [Ex: Politically, nature) ﹄☆✮Can't understand: (Something they just can't get into, such as English literate or obsession with sports) ﹄☆✮Closet Hobby: (Something that your character likes but isn't too obvious.) ﹄☆✮Guilty Pleasure: (You know...)

﹄☆✮Favorite Colors: ﹄☆✮Favorite Animals: ﹄☆✮Favorite Mythological Creatures: ﹄☆✮Favorite Places: (Ex: Fav City, State, or Country) ﹄☆✮Favorite Landmarks: (Ex: Eiffel Tower, Mt. Rushmore) ﹄☆✮Favorite Flavors: (Ex: Vanilla, Sour, Strawberry) ﹄☆✮Favorite Foods: ﹄☆✮Favorite Drinks: ﹄☆✮Favorite Characters: (Not one of yours) ﹄☆✮Favorite Genre: ﹄☆✮Favorite Books: ﹄☆✮Favorite Movies: ﹄☆✮Favorite Games: ﹄☆✮Favorite Shows: ﹄☆✮Favorite Music: ﹄☆✮Favorite Bands: ﹄☆✮Favorite Songs: ﹄☆✮Favorite Sports: ﹄☆✮Favorite Stores: ﹄☆✮Favorite Subjects: ﹄☆✮Favorite Numbers: ﹄☆✮Favorite Websites: ﹄☆✮Favorite Words: ﹄☆✮Favorite Quotations: (Can be lengthy and philosophical or just simple clichés such as "Every dog has his day)

﹄☆✮Least Favorite Colors: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Animals: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Mythological Creatures: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Places: ﹄☆✮Favorite Landmarks: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Flavors: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Foods: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Drinks: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Characters: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Genre: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Books: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Movies: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Games: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Shows: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Music: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Bands: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Songs: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Sports: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Stores: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Subjects: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Numbers: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Websites: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Words: ﹄☆✮Least Favorite Quotations: (Can be lengthy and philosophical or just simple clichés such as "Every dog has his day)

﹄☆✮MBTI Personality Type: [Ex: ENTP, ISTJ] ﹄☆✮Temperament: (Chloric/Sanguine/Melancholic/Phlegmatic) May also be called color types, such as yellow, red, blue, or green) ﹄☆✮Enneagram: (The Reformer/The Helper/The Achiever/The Individualist/The Investigator/The Loyalist/The Enthusiast/The Challenger/The Peacemaker) ﹄☆✮Ego/Superego/Id: (Superego is aims for perfection, society, and the idea of right and wrong. Id is unconscious desires and instincts - Which of these are they most driven by? ﹄☆✮The Self: (The center/core of your character) ﹄☆✮The Shadow: (The opposite qualities your character themselves does not believe they possess, but do subconsciously) ﹄☆✮Persona/Mask: (What they present to the world, or the side they use to protect themselves)

﹄☆✮Role: (What purpose does your character serve? [mentor, leader]) ﹄☆✮Fulfillment: (How well do they serve that role?) ﹄☆✮Significance: (Why does your character matter?) ﹄☆✮Alignment: (Good/Evil/Neutral/Lawful/Chaotic) ﹄☆✮Comparison: (Compare your character to some kind of animal, object, or anything else you can think of.) ﹄☆✮Symbol: (Does your character have any kind of recurring symbol that represents them? [Ex: a rose, a black cat, a sunset] Could be blatant or subtle.) ﹄☆✮Song: (A song you think best suits your character) ﹄☆✮Vice: (Pride/Greed/Gluttony/Lust/Envy/Sloth/Wrath) ﹄☆✮Virtue: (Patience/Diligence/Chastity/Temperance/Charity/Kindness/Humility) ﹄☆✮Defining Moment: (This is it. The single greatest moment of your character, when they truly become alive.) ﹄☆✮Tropes: (What about your character is stereotypical or cliched? [You can't say nothing. Every character has some kind of cliche in them]) ﹄☆✮One Word: (Use a single adjective to sum up your character in a nutshell)

[junker-town]

8 New Year’s resolutions for the NFL’s worst teams

Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images

For the non-playoff teams, it’s not too early to get their 2020 wishlist ready.

It’s over! It’s finally over! The NFL regular season is done! I know I’m supposed to feign excitement for the fans of playoff teams who still have football to watch, but this week isn’t for you, happy fans. Your gift comes next week, a reward for months of exciting football, with teams that offer hope and joy.

There are more of us than you, and Week 17 is our time, the realm of fans who have suffered through garbage-ass football to reach this point. While you’re presented with the possibility of a Super Bowl, we get to chill until the draft like the suffering idiots we are.

Today, we’re going to do a New Year’s wish list for a handful of the 20 teams that won’t get a chance to lift the Lombardi Trophy this year.

NFL New Year’s Wishes

Cincinnati Bengals want ... for this whole thing to not blow up in their faces.

It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to tank the way the Bengals did, and they deserve the No. 1 pick for their effort. The draft picture has changed a lot during the year, but we end up now with this scenario that seems almost too on the nose.

Let’s not play dumb for four months: The Bengals are going to take Joe Burrow from LSU with the first overall pick. So a guy from Ohio who became a tiger is going to return to his home state to be a tiger again.

This is that kind of beautiful draft symmetry that scares me, and deep down it should scare Bengals fans too. It’s so perfect it feels like this was made to explode in their faces. All year Tua Tagovailoa was the lock No. 1 pick, and then he got injured. Burrow has become the top pick by default (though he’s had an unbelievable season, to be fair). Now it’ll be on Cincinnati to hope he becomes Carson Palmer 2.0, that the Bengals don’t become the next team picking the wrong QB. Patrick Mahomes says hi, Bears — just FYI.

Washington wants ... to lose about 190 pounds.

Unfortunately, team owner Daniel Snyder isn’t going anywhere.

Detroit Lions want ... some damn defense.

Matthew Stafford was on pace for a FIVE THOUSAND-YARD SEASON with 38 touchdowns. It would have been the best season of his career — and finally the kind of signature year that got him the respect he deserved.

Then he got hurt, which is part of the tragic unfairness of the NFL, but also a reminder that this amazing season still wouldn’t have meant anything because the Lions allowed 400 damn yards and 26 points a game.

We always talk about QBs needing help in terms of the offensive line or receiving corps. In this case, please just get Stafford some help on the other side of the ball.

New York Giants want ... I dunno, some big dude?

There’s so much that’s promising about the future of the Giants, but with Dave Gettleman still at the helm, it’ll come down to him picking a lineman, or something else boring when it comes to the draft. That said, it actually might make sense here.

I know it’s extremely boring, but a lineman could hopefully lead to Daniel Jones protecting the ball a little better and solve his fumble problem.

Miami Dolphins want ... a little bit of luck.

Perhaps the most astounding thing about the Dolphins is how their season didn’t come close to the joke it looked like it was going to be. To the credit of the coaching staff, this team went a lot further than talent dictated, and it actually puts Miami in a pretty good position moving forward.

Now it’s about finding the quarterback of the future. The Dolphins have the No. 5 pick and could still be in a position to draft Tagovailoa. They’ll get the guy we all thought they were tanking for anyway. Presuming his hip fully heals, all the Dolphins need is for him to be healthy and they’re set for a while.

Carolina Panthers want ... literally everything.

The friend who makes 30 wishes. Quite frankly, the Panthers are a mess. The team needs a coach, a prayer Cam Newton will be OK, to address injuries that plagued the defensive line, and to build an offensive line.

This all sounds daunting, and it is. It doesn’t mean things can’t fall into place, but it begins and ends with Cam Newton. If he’s healthy, they can be good. If not, they won’t. It’s that simple, and also means there will be another year of quarterback speculation in Charlotte, which the city is not prepared for.

New York Jets want ... Adam Gase to shut up.

Good luck with that one. He doesn’t mind though, because he’s rich dammit.

Dallas Cowboys want ... everyone to leave them alone.

From crushing defeats and underperforming seasons, to forcing Skip Bayless to make an obviously staged video for clicks on his sad Twitter account. This is the “get your popcorn ready” offseason in the NFL.

I’ve had enough. pic.twitter.com/UcTtWJcWlz

— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) December 23, 2019

This one is going to be even more angst-ridden than usual, and frankly we can’t wait.

And now, other fun things I liked this week.

Jameis Winston’s 30-for-30 documentary is going to be the best.

In case you missed it, Winston became the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 30 touchdowns and 30 interceptions in the same season — making if the most definitive Jameis Winston season in history.

His matter-of-fact appreciation of the feat was one of the best parts.

#Bucs QB Jameis Winston after the game: "When you look at my numbers, I'm balling. I just gotta stop giving it to the other team... I gotta get better."

— Trevor Sikkema (@TampaBayTre) December 29, 2019

I am absolutely behind this celebration.

FLIP CUP GMEN pic.twitter.com/p86gn5THUn

— Billy M (@BillyM_91) December 29, 2019

It’s important to showcase your best assets. In this case, it’s the Giants accepting they’re better a flip cup than football.

I think I’ve worked out what’s happened to Tom Brady.

There’s been this assumption that the never-aging quarterback is finally aging, but that’s too expected, too obvious.

Remember when Brady had a cameo in Living with Yourself on Netflix, which intimated that he got a clone of himself made so he could keep playing forever?

The show established the Brady has done this multiple times, which must means he knows that he’s aging and breaking down. Well, Brady made his clone again, but the original (much like Paul Rudd’s in the show) broke loose.

Now the old Brady is playing for the Patriots and being bad, and the new, perfect Tom Brady is probably running an avocado ice cream collective outside of Portland.

This call was so clutch, and so amazing.

Kevin Harlan called two games at the same time. This man is a national treasure. pic.twitter.com/HfvDWVhqR3

— Jeff Eisenband (@JeffEisenband) December 29, 2019

This is some next-level announcing the likes of which we never see. And to make it all the better, he even had time to throw in some jokes along the way. Protect Kevin Harlan at all costs.

The Browns finally decided to remodel their kitchens.

Just got off the phone with an emotional Freddie Kitchens. He believed he had organizational support. He did not. https://t.co/6263Mmh7c0

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) December 30, 2019

“Believed he had organizational support. He did not” is both an incredible sentence, and a whole mood. For me, just change “organizational” with “emotional” and I’m oversharing aren’t I?!

Good luck, Browns. I hope you find whatever it is you’ve been searching for. For years. For decades. I can’t believe y’all are still searching for the thing. The thing is “good football.” How is this still not possible? Be better, Browns. Seriously though, don’t hire another guy whose main attribute is “he grew up loving the Browns!”

[docholligay]

Father’s Day

 I wrote this little series of vignettes for Father’s Day (note: I am aware Father’s Day is not universal, from its celebration to the day on which it might fall, but like...go with me here) just for something fun for today. about 1,800 words, including my five favs. The entire OW universe is here, and you can support me by leaving a comment, joining me on Patreon (where you can read an SM Father’s Day ficlet), tipping me on Ko-fi, or getting something from my wishlist. (gifts for Jill, who we all like better than me, are also here) I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS

Winston looked up at the moon at midnight. It had been so many years since it had happened, and he had always assumed he wouldn’t be hurt by it anymore, at some point, and yet that day never seemed to come.

 Some of it was the loneliness, the sense that no one could ever understand. Dr. Harold hadn’t actually been his father, right? That was what people thought. Winston was the creation of a science experiment gone horribly wrong, one that had ended with every single scientist dead, and it was really only a fluke that he had not been one of the rebels, one of those who destroyed their creators, because, at the core of it, they really were still animals, right?

 That was what they thought, he knew.

 And in ways, he wished it were true. He wished it did not hurt to see the Happy Father’s Day cards, and tried not to remember how he had discovered Father’s Day in one of the many encyclopedia that had been around the station. How he had created a small card for Dr. Harold, how Dr. Harold had proudly displayed it on his desk. How he had felt that first brush of the warmth of family, and how it had given him so much joy.

 The moon always reminded him, but especially today.

 He was not unique, he remembered, in having lost his father. It was the most common thing in the world, among his beloved team. Only D.va and Pharah could say otherwise. But people looked at them with understanding and knowing nods, while they didn’t seem to share the same with Winston, just a simple, ‘oh yes, the incident on the moon.’

 Tracer understood him, but Tracer was Tracer, and one could never take anything she thought or did as a human consensus.

 He looked up at the moon, and decided to go to bed.

  ___

 D.va sat in her room, waiting for the time to be right. When she was serving halfway around the world, there never seemed to be a convenient time to chat with her parents, and so she didn’t get to talk to them as much as she’d like.

 People always assumed that the worst parts of her job were the fighting, the never knowing what each day would bring, the thoughts of losing her comrades. And those were, yes, difficult. But it was nothing compared to the sadness she felt at leaving her family behind, even though they were proud of her, and even though she knew it was the right thing for the security of the world, she missed them terribly.

 Her father had been such a huge part of everything D.va had grown to be, her gaming, her sense of justice and her part in it, and she had never found the right words to tell him so. Telling people how much she loved them was not exactly her strongest suit--years of growing up one of the preeminent girl gamers had given her a thick skin, and sometimes a thick skin kept things from going out, as well as in.

 The little Skype alert went off, and she checked her hair quickly. She wanted to look happy and well-rested when she talked to them, and even though she was supposed to be talking to her father, there was, she thought, zero percent chance that her mother wouldn’t looking over his shoulder and thinking of all the reasons to worry about her Hana.

 The camera popped up, the light reflecting in the corners of her Dad’s glasses, and she smiled.

 “Hi Dad!”

 “It’s so good to hear from you, Hana. We’ve been reading all about the things you’ve been doing across the world, and we are so proud of you. The world is a better place because of you, you know.”

 And I’m a better person because of you.

 “I just wanted to say thanks today, Dad.” She shrugged, a little embarrassed. “For everything.”

 “You are worth everything, Hana.”

 “Dad.” She blushed. “Stop.”

 __

  Her family had gotten into the business of dying occasionally, as a family that had practically formed the RAF was wont to do, and during World War I, her family had thought it practical to buy more than a few plots out at that nice new cemetery in Newham. They were almost out of those plots now, and Tracer wasn’t sure what they’d do when they were, and no longer had the luxury of thinking that it wouldn’t be her problem.

 She poked along the narrow strip of green where Oxton began, old weathered stones bearing names she didn’t really know, and dates that seemed an impossibly long time ago. The first was 1915, she remembered, from visiting here as a child, where she had read every name and wondered what they had been like, as sure as she had wondered what her own mother had really been like. It was easy to be one thing, in stories, and Tracer hung on to the small handful of things she remembered about her mother, that weren’t stories, that she knew for real.

 It was a different sort of loss, with her father. Anyone could tell any story they wanted about him, and she could call it up in mind immediately, what he sounded like, the way he moved, the way he’d chuckle and shake his head.

 She’d often thought that losing her father was like her house burning down, and losing her mother was like never having had one in the first place. Missing versus longing. Besides, it was hard to be too upset over something that happened to everybody, eventually, it wasn’t personal, it was just how things were.

 She settled down in front of one of the newer plaques, the same five letters across the top of it as in the rest of the row. Anne, the aunt she never knew. Mary, her mother. Lena, awkwardly. And Herbert, Bert offered helpfully in quotes next to it, as if anyone who would sit here might forget. There was an RAF roundel next to each name, so common in this line that Tracer had thought, as a child, that it was simply something people put on graves. Only her name was the aberration, where her father had added the Overwatch symbol next to her roundel.

 She leaned back against the stone in front of her family’s--she always meant to leave a thank you note for giving her a relatively comfortable way to visit the folks, but she wasn’t sure how it would be taken.

 She took her sandwich out of her bag.

 “‘Appy Father’s Day, Dad. I brought nothing, but I thought you’d rather ‘ear from me than anything else, any’ow. Emily still loves me, I’ll ‘ave you know, and she’s even agreed to move in, think I may marry ‘er, if she’ll ‘ave me…”

 __

 Mercy was so very used to being alone that she never much minded it, and locking herself in her lab seemed like the best option for today, even if she did not have much of a project to work on, just putzing about the lab, here and there.

 She had wanted to go with Pharah to visit her father. And she hadn’t wanted to. Every year was like this, and every year the side that won out was a little different, and it was a sign of Pharah’s everlasting love and patience that she never pressured Mercy, just let her decide and took either answer with a cheerful nod and a kiss.

 Mostly it was that Mercy was afraid, seeing how Pharah’s father loved her, she might burst into tears right there at the table, and ruin Father’s Day.

 Her father had loved her, too, in a world that seemed a lifetime ago, growing up on the edge of Zurich, in that house with the wide wooden beams that she had known and loved so well. The way he used to quiz her on little things, and beam and laugh, loud and deep, over how clever she was. How she was his genius little girl, and there was nothing she couldn’t do, and she would change the world.

 She was so young, when it all happened, that she never could have imagined it, freshly bat mitzvah and turned out into the world, some cruel joke of a God that decided she was a woman now, she supposed, in her more bitter moments. She thought of her parents often, wheen the big and little things happened. When she graduated medical school. When she married. When the cards in shops started to proclaim about good fathers.

 Alone in the lab, she believed she could do it. That she had done it. That she could make everything mean something, including the Father’s Day card she had sent, to an address that was nothing more than a hole in the ground in Zurich.

   ____

 Pharah waited at the table. Her father was not her mother, and it was easy for her to see why they had never solemnized their involvement with each other. Her mother was regimented and would never dream of being late, wry and sly and subtle. Her father was...not.

 She often wondered what her life would have been like if he had raised her primarily instead of Ana, but then, Pharah rather liked herself just the way she was, and this other, foreign Pharah who might have been a completely different person did not necessarily appeal to her.

 Which is not to say she didn’t love her father. She did, very much, and she had come to appreciate how nice it was to have a simple and uncomplicated relationship with a parent, where she never worried how he would see her, where there was never any struggle for control of the conversation, for some dominance, where Pharah never had anything to prove.

 So she could take a little being late.

 He walked in, 20 minutes after he said he would be there, but it was impossible for Pharah not to forgive him immediately, the way his face lit up at the sight of her, the way he drew his arms around her immediately and held her tight, never intimidated by his daughter, the way others were. He saw her as his precious girl and never as a commander, and he may have been the only person on earth from whom Pharah could find that charming.

 “Fareeha! You look so good! Where is that beautiful wife of yours?” He looked about the restaurant, as if Pharah might have just been sticking her in a corner.

 “You know how hard she works, Dad.”

 “I know,” He pulled out a chair and sat down, grinning, “You’re afraid your old Dad’s going to embarrass you in front of such a pretty girl.”

 “You have already done that,” Pharah laughed, “multiple times.”

 “And still she married you. It’s that Amari beauty, we’re all suckers for it, I understand.” He picked up the menu. “What should we get, pumpkin? They make great crepes here, I know you like those.” He looked over at her and smiled. “It’s so nice to see you.”

 “Happy Father’s Day, Dad.”  

[sarah--writes-blog]

Big-Ass Character Sheet

So I just dug up this character sheet that a friend in my creative writing class gave me a few years back. I’m not sure where she got it, but I use it for all my OCs. It covers a lot of things from multiple genres so this works for humans and mythical creatures and other beings alike!

I’ll keep most of it under the cut (it is LONG), but here are some interesting ones to show you how all-encompassing this is.

The Anima/Animus (The part of the character of a different gender)

Gait (The speed and style which how your character moves.)

Type of lover (Eros/pragma/banquet/mania/ludus/storge)

Intelligence (Linguistic/logical/spatial/kinesthetic/musical/interpersonal/intrapersonal/naturalist)

Influences (Who or what inspires your character to change? Do they influence anyone else?)

Savvy (What is your character particularly well-informed of?)

Weaknesses (make it something that your character exclusively is weak to, and keep it credible)

Immunities (Be very careful with this one)

Restrictions (An absolute necessity for those with supernatural powers. Ex. Can only breathe fire when angry or can only cast darkness spells two times a day)

Tagline (Something your character says a lot in everyday sentences. Can often be filled with a sound or vocalization.)

Signature Quote: (Something significant your character says. Doesn’t have to be meaningful, just make it memorable.)

I hope this is useful to people!

Full Name

Pronunciation

Nickname/Alias

Meaning

Origin of Name

Title

Pet Name

ID Number (tournaments, prison, school, etc.)

Gender

Gender Role (Does your character generally act more feminine or masculine?)

Orientation

Real Age

Age Appearance

Birthday

Deathday

Astrological Sign (Western)

Zodiac Sign (Eastern)

Immediate Family (Who was your character raised by?)

Distant Family (The ones they don’t see every day)

Parenting (Were parents strict or fun-loving?)

Upbringing (What morals and ideals were your characters raised with?)

Infancy (What was it like when your character was a baby? Were they nurtured or dropped at birth?)

Childhood (3-12) (What was it like for your character growing up as a kid?)

Adolescence (13-17, Teen Years)

Adulthood (18+, When your character has fully matured. If your character isn’t yet an adult, plan what would happen to them in the future.)

Coming of Age (When and how did your character “Grow up”?)

Evolution (How has your character changed since they were younger?)

Species

Ethnicity

Blood Type

Preferred Hand

Facial Type (Oval, heart, square, round)

Eye Color

Hair Color

Hairstyle

Skin Tone

Complexion

Makeup

Body type (Endomorph, ectomorph, mesomorph, somewhere in between?)

Build (Long legs, chubby cheeks, muscular arms?)

Height 

Weight 

Cup Size

Facial Hair

Shoe Size

Birthmarks/scars

Distinguishing feature (Something unique that stands out)

Health (How healthy is your character?)

Energy (How much energy does your character have on a daily basis?)

Memory (How well does your character remember things, and what do they remember?)

Senses (Are any of your character’s senses better or worse than others?)

Allergies

Handicaps (Ex. A limp, deafness, missing an eye?)

Medication (What meds do your character take, if any?)

Phobias (Things that simply terrify your character. May be trivial or debilitating. Try to have at least one.)

Addictions (Drugs, alcohol, gambling or bad teen romance)

Mental Disorders (Ex. Depression, Bipolar, Paranoia, optional)

Style (The overall style your character shows, not just limited to clothing)

Mode of Dress (Don’t describe their clothes here. Describe how they wear their clothes. Two people can wear a suit, but each will wear it differently. Ex, is the shirt tucked in?)

Grooming (Well kept or messy?)

Posture (How does your character present themselves? Ex. Stiff, slouchy, suggestive)

Gait (The speed and style which how your character moves.)

Coordination (How physically fit is your character? Also add things like reflexes, etc.)

Habits and Mannerisms (Any nervous ticks or unconscious habits your character might have. Ex nail biting, crosses arms, twirling hair)

Scent (What does your character smell like? Good or bad? How strong?)

Mood (What mood are you most likely to catch your character in?)

Attitude (How does your character interact with others?)

Stability (How emotionally consistent are they?)

Expressiveness (Do they hide emotion or let it out openly?)

When Happy (Ie whistles, sings, skips)

When Depressed (Ex. Lock themself in their room, hugs a stuffed animal)

When Angry (Ex. Punches a wall, screams at people)

Current Residence: (Where does your character live right now?)

Community: (What does the general population act like where your character lives?)

Family: (Include stepfamilies if it applies and label as such)

Friends: (Who does your character hang out with?)

Enemies: (Who does your character despise?)

Bosses: (Who does your character answer to?)

Followers: (Who answers to your character?)

Heroes: (Who does your character look up to?)

Rivals: (Who are they competing with?)

Relates to: (Who is similar to your character?)

Pets/Familiars: (Describe a pet your character owns, real or fantasy and give it a name.)

Wardrobe: (Describe your character’s closet. What is their formal, casual or other kind of wear?)

Equipment: (Refers to tools or weapons your character may use.)

Accessories: (Tattoos, piercings, jewelry, glasses, etc.)

Trinkets: (Applies to but not limited to luck charms, purses, watches or other items they carry with them almost all the time.)

Funds: (How much cash does your character have on hand, and how much at home/in the bank?)

Home: (What is your character’s house like? Describe its overall appearance, and describe such things as the yard, wallpaper, or any other info.)

Neighborhood: (What are the people and places near your character like?)

Transportation: (How does your character get around?)

License Plate Number:

Collections: (Does your character like to hoard or collect anything?)

Most Valuable Possession: (In money)

Prized Possession: (What object does your character value above all else?)

Lovers: (From childhood crushes to exes to a married partner, who does your character love?)

Marital Status: (Ex. single, taken, dating, available)

Sex Life:

Type (of lover): (Eros/pragma/banquet/mania/ludus/storge)

Turn-Ons: (What does your character want to see in their ideal mate?)

Turn-Offs: (What tends to make them back off?)

Position: (Dom/Sub)

Plays:

Fetishes:

Virginity:

Element: (Water/air/fire/earth)

Occupation:

Work Ethic: (How hard does your character work? How do they feel about their job?)

Rank: (How high up are they in the corporate ladder?)

Income: (How much money do they make?)

Wealth Status: (How well financed is your character?)

Experience: (Include things like past jobs or things that contributed to current occupation)

Organizations/Affiliations: (Who does your character side with?)

IQ:

Education: (How good is their education?)

School: (What was their school like?)

Grade: (What grades would they get?)

Special Education: (Did they ever get held back or get honor role?)

Social stereotype: (Ex. Nerd, jock, goth)

Degrees: (What degrees did/would they earn in school?)

Intelligence: (Linguistic/logical/spatial/kinesthetic/musical/interpersonal/intrapersonal/naturalist)

Extracurricular Activities: (Such as PE or Art)

Religion:

Morals: (What does your character find morally right or wrong?)

Crime Record: (Relationship with authority, laws broken, and crimes committed)

Motivation: (What moves your character? Ex. Power, money, love)

Priorities: (What does your character place first, second and third?)

Philosophy: (Your character’s outlook on life)

Political Party:

Etiquette: (How good are your character’s manners? Do they bow or chew with their mouth open?)

Culture: (Any things your character may do specific to a certain culture. Do your research on this one or you could offend people.)

Influences: (Who or what inspires your character to change? Do they influence anyone else?)

Relates to: (Who can your character relate to?)

Traditions: (Does your character sit around the table with family? What holidays do they celebrate?)

Suspersitions: (Spilling salt, knocking on wood?)

Main Goal: (Driving force in the story. May be subject to change)

Minor Goals/Ambitions: (What is your character trying to accomplish)

Career: (What would be your character’s dream job?)

Desires: (What does your character want?)

Wishlist: (What material items does your character want?)

Accomplishments: (Did they succeed in any goals?)

Greatest Achievement:

Greatest Failure:

Secrets: (Everyone has at least one)

Regrets:

Worries: (What do they worry about?)

Best Dream: (What would be the best thing that could possibly happen to your character?)

Worst Nightmare: (The worst thing?)

Best Memories: (A few stand out memories from the past. Keep it short and sweet)

Worst Memories:

Hobbies/Interests: (What does your character like to do for fun?)

Skills/Talents: (Similar to hobbies, but refers to the level of skill a character has. For example, a character could like playing violin but isn’t very good at it or vice versa.)

Likes:

Dislikes: (What can’t they stand?)

Sense of Humor: (Dark/dry/witty/sarcastic/dirty/childish/sophisticated/ironic)

Pet Peeves: (Similar to dislikes, but relates more to human behavior. Ex. When people tap on things)

Superstitions/Beliefs: (Does your character believe in conspiracy theories or aliens? Do they throw salt over their shoulder?)

Dreams/Nightmares: (What do they dream about at night?)

Quirks: (The strange little things that your character does that makes them unique. Ex. Sleeps with feet on the pillow or runs their hand along a pole as they walk beside it)

Savvy: (What is your character particularly well-informed of?)

Can’t Understand: (Something they just can’t get into, such as English literate or sports)

Closet Hobby: (Something that your character likes but isn’t too obvious)

Guilty Pleasure:

Strengths: (What makes them stand a bit above the crowd? (Courageous, listening, calm under pressure. No supernatural abilities here)

Flaws: (Refers to negative personality traits, not a weakness. Make sure it’s a deep flaw that could actually affect your character, not something trivial like “She can’t dance” Ex. Lies constantly, socially backwards, hot-tempered)

Perception: (How does your character generally see the world?)

Conflicts: (What issues make your character want two things, but they can’t have both?)

Instincts: (What are they unconsciously driven to do)

Lures: (What are they inexplicably drawn to be near? Ex. Power, money, the helpless)

Soft Spot: (their vulnerability, what they feel sorry for or have particularly good feelings for.)

Cruel Steak: (What makes a character act against their usual morals, and act especially mean? Everyone has something that can do this to them.

Powers/Abilities: (Here is where to put any superhuman powers and other abilities. Be sure to balance them out with weaknesses, or your character loses credibility.)

Origin: (How did they get their powers?)

Source: (How do they use their powers?)

Ability: (How adept are they at using said powers?)

Weaknesses: (make it something that your character exclusively is weak to, and keep it credible)

Immunities: (Be very careful with this one)

Restrictions: (An absolute necessity for those with supernatural powers. Ex. Can only breathe fire when angry or can only cast darkness spells two times a day)

Alternate Forms: (Transformations, shapeshifting, etc.)

Extra Anatomy: (Such as wings or a third eye)

(Least) Favorite Colors

(Least) Favorite Animals

(Least) Favorite Mythological Creature

(Least) Favorite Places

(Least) Favorite Landmarks

(Least) Favorite Flavors

(Least) Favorite Foods

(Least) Favorite Drinks

(Least) Favorite Characters (Not one of yours)

(Least) Favorite Genre

(Least) Favorite Books

(Least) Favorite Movies

(Least) Favorite Games

(Least) Favorite Shows

(Least) Favorite Music

(Least) Favorite Bands

(Least) Favorite Songs

(Least) Favorite Sports

(Least) Favorite Stores

(Least) Favorite Subjects

(Least) Favorite Numbers

(Least) Favorite Websites

(Least) Favorite Words

(Least) Favorite Quotations

Languages (What languages does your character speak and how fluently?)

Accent

Voice (High/low pitched)

Speech Impediments

Greeting and Farewells (How does your character say hello and goodbye?)

State of Mind: (Ask your character “How are you” and see how they respond)

Compliment: (Have your character say something nice)

Insult: (Have your character insult someone)

Expletive:

Laughter:

Tagline: (Something your character says a lot in everyday sentences. Can often be filled with a sound or vocalization.)

Signature Quote: (Something significant your character says. Doesn’t have to be meaningful, just make it memorable.)

MBTI Personality Type

Temperament

Enneagram

Ego/Superego/ID (Which is your character most driven by?)

The Self

The Shadow (The opposite qualities your character themselves does not believe they possess but do subconsciously)

The Anima/Animus (The part of the character of the opposite gender)

Persona/Mask (What they present to the world, or the side they use to protect themselves)

[naturessoleil-blog]

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

or J’s wishlist... Expanded.

Tink!

Okay so Tink isn’t really hard to come up with ideas for plots. She’s my original babe, my OG if you will, and she’s always so active and loud in my mind. That being said, there are a few things I would absolutely love to have happen to her to help further her story.

1. RELAPSE! I know it’s terrible considering the darling has been in rehab since November but relapse is a very real and very scary thing that happens to a lot of recovering addicts. Getting clean is also something that Tink has worked so very hard to achieve and seeing her backslide and have to deal with that is somethin I would be hella interested in seeing pan out. So come, give my beeb drugs and booze.

2. ADVENTURE! Tink is a free spirit. She wants to see the world. As the Great Prince once said, she is bigger than Swynlake. Always has been, always will be. But she’s been tied down with Pixie despite loving the place more than anything. She wants to explore more however. Coming out of rehab it’s gonna be something that she needs to cope with everything. And what better way than to do something she’s always wanted to do? An adventure with this girl can only lead to a good time and maybe a bit of trouble.

3. HOE IT UP! This girl needs to get around a bit, figure herself out. She’s young, she’s hot, she doesn’t need to be tied down to anyone. She’s done the monogamous thing and while it was fun, this girl needs to spread her wings and get around. aka J just wants to write more smut and create (possible) relationships around it.

4. TINKERING! For a long time now Tink has been denying, in a sense, her fairy talents. But every time I write her and she’s tinkering, she loves it so much. I want her to tinker more, want her to use her talents and realize that they are so amazing.

Lock!

Oh boy this asshole. He is probably one of my most under developed characters which saddens me because I love him dearly. Therefore I have a lot I want to do with him and plot with him.

1. FRIENDS! Lock definitely needs friends. It has been, I believe, my biggest struggling point with him. He’s so focused on his siblings and himself that he has very very few people he is willing to interact with (looking @ u kiara). So he definitely needs to get out there and find some trouble makers to befriend.

2. MISCHIEF! As a prankster Lock has the ability to get in a lot of trouble and have a TON of fun doing so. Course, some of his pranks tend to fall on the more cruel side, but what can be expected when you’re the product of a really shitty relationship and a child of neglect? With his siblings still open Lock needs a partner in crime, could it be you?

3. TROUBLE! Already Lock’s had a run in with the cops. He’s on their list... maybe. Either way, he needs to face some consequences for his devious actions. 

4. LOVERS?! Lock is one of my only characters (except Taka of course) that is so totally against love it’s ridiculous. He’s been burned in the past and like the true asshole he is, he’s let that dictate his entire life up until this point. I’d love for him to find someone he cares about (that isn’t Kiara tbh she’s the only person he cares about most days) that can teach him it’s not always a bad thing to care about someone other than yourself. Or maybe burn him again, that’s always fun and leads to interesting things. 

Adam!

1. WOLF THINGS! My absolute favorite thing about Adam is that he is a freaking werewolf. And very seldom do I get to play with that side of him. I would so so love for someone to stumble upon him in wolf form or maybe even learn things about his wolf. It’s a part of Adam that he needs to accept and he can’t do that if the wolf never gets written

2. ATTACK! I totally, and this is horrible, want Adam to lose control and attack someone. His wolf is mostly controlled by his emotions so when he flies off the handle it’s harder to keep the wolf in check. 

3. FRIENDS! Adam is a hermit. Other than random texts, he only really interacts with Belle and Blaine. He needs to get out of that, needs to un-hermit himself. He needs to get involved so throw everyone at him, make him uncomfortable, make him squirm, be relentless in your talking to him

Taka!

1. CARE! Taka gives a literal shit about absolutely nothing unless it is beneficial to him. So of course I want to put him in a position to actually give a shit about someone. Whether it be in a romantic sense (HA!) or just a general ‘hey I care about you because you are important to me” sort of way. I want someone to come into Taka’s life like a fucking wrecking ball and fuck things up for him in the worst (best) way.

2. DIRTY DEEDS! Being a somewhat criminal master mind I’d like to see Taka get his hands dirty. Whether that be blackmail, some more illegal drug business, or embezzlement. He’s got a limited time here and has to make the most of it.

3. CONSEQUENCES! Of course one day Taka is going to get found out. But in the meantime why not make him sweat a little bit? Maybe your character catches him doing something a little too shady? Or maybe you hear something you aren’t supposed to? Shake up Taka’s world a lil bit, he deserves it.

Patty!

1. ADVENTURE! I’d absolutely love for my lil Pat-Pat to go on an adventure. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Maybe you and the Pats trek through the woods. Or you and the lil Pat go to a concert away from Swynlake! Or it could be something as mundane as taking a day trip to London (or anywhere!) just for funsies. Let’s get this lil scaredy cat out there in the world!

2. CONFRONTATION! Make Patty angry! This smol creature is not one that is quick to anger. Not at all. So piss her off! Make her want to cuss you out or even hit you! There’s plenty of assholes in this town. It’s bound to happen one day.

3. GENDER IDENTITY! This is a more drawn out sort of thing. A long term plot because it is something that Patty still struggles with even though she has started her journey towards transitioning. There are turbulent times ahead of her with this process and it’s going to be a big thing for her, for sure. Go on this journey with her!

4. PLAN FOR THE FUTURE! Patty has like one year left of school before she goes off to Uni! Which lbr she’s gonna end up at PrideU bc she adores Swynlake. But it’s time that she realize her true passions. Whether it be art or interior decorating or even psychology. It’s something that she is gonna have to figure out and maybe someone can help her along the way. It’ll be fun to say the least.

Lady!

1. STREET SMARTS! Lady is probably perhaps the most naive character I have (minus Soleil but she is a different story altogether). She lives in a fantasy world she has created because of the books she’s read and the life she’s lived up until now. I want her to get dirty, to have that world she’s created shattered so entirely that she doesn’t know what to do with herself anymore. This pristine princess needs a taste of the real world, of slumming it in the streets and having to be quick on her feet to survive.

2. CLICHE ROMANCE! I’m not even gonna sugar coat it. Lady is a character that would really thrive in a relationship. It’s all she wants. A great epic soppy romance where she is whisked off, figuratively, and allowed to live a very privileged life in a place that she loves. She thought she’d found that with Gaston but alas here we are. Give me all the ridiculous tropes. Rich girl/poor boy. Damsel in distress/hero. COFFEE SHOPPE AU (except not au but we all know what we’re talking about here)

3. NO MORE MONEY! Maybe this is something that comes about suddenly or all at once. But I would love for Lady to have to live like the rest of us. Trying to figure out how to pay her bills, struggling to make ends meet, having to get... A JOB! It would be very character building for her because she’s never really had to lift a finger to do anything in her life. 

Soleil!

1. MUNDUS! Soleil seriously needs to interact with more mundus characters. She’s been so scared of them and wary for so long. It’s time to change that.... Or make it worse. Either way, she needs to get more acquainted with the other half of Swynlake.

2. ANGRY SPRITE! What if danger came to the forest of Swynlake? What if something or someone threatened the Great Prince? What if something happened to Zero? Let’s see Soleil fall of the deep end. While being a kind natured creature, it would be something else entirely to see all that love and kindness replaced instead with anger and hatred. I wanna see that so bad.

3. LEARNING! Sure, sure, Soleil has been around for over seventy years but there is still so much of her power that is untapped. I want her to start pushing herself more, figuring out just what it means to be the Spring Sprite. She has so much potential and she could use a coach of some sort, someone to push her and encourage her to keep trying.

4. GET A JOB, YOU HIPPIE! This pretty lil thing has not worked a day in her life. And it was mainly because she barely got to have a life. Spending so much time in the forest, she’s effectively hidden away and got what little she has by either scavenging or making something out of scraps. Having a job will help get her around more people and help her practice her powers in a different sort of setting.

Dipper!

1. DEMONS! Man is Dipper so insanely interested in demons. It’s the one thing he couldn’t ever really get close to in Gravity Falls. So let him meet demons, learn all about them. GO ON ADVENTURES WITH THEM. Get possessed by one.

2. EXPLORE! Imagine having this guy on an expedition. How much FUN would that be? He tells jokes, he is observant, he takes notes, he’s an all around cool guy. The coolest even. And it’s something he seriously wants to do. He wants to try and find this town’s Pixie Hollow. Wants to know what sorts of creatures are in the forest. He wants to know it all and he will do what it takes to learn it all and see it all.

3. JOURNALS! Dipper has these journals from his gruncle and he has NO IDEA what is really inside of them. All he knows is that they have information on lots of magicks and there is some sort of secret code for something. He wants to figure out what this code is. Wants to know what it is. Help him decipher it. Or don’t. Hinder his progress. Help him figure it out. It’s up to you. It’ll be fun I promise.

[buddyrabrahams]

Each NFL team’s biggest weakness heading into December

The playoff race is well and truly underway in the NFL, and we’re getting real separation between Super Bowl contenders and teams that just don’t have the firepower to make it. With only five games left, we’re also seeing what each team’s issue is down the stretch, regardless of whether they’re gunning for a playoff spot or more focused on draft position at this point.

Let’s take a look at each team’s biggest weakness as we head into December and the final stretch of the regular season.

Arizona Cardinals — The injury-riddled offense

The Cardinals’ playoff hopes before the season hinged primarily on their three key offensive skill players — Carson Palmer at quarterback, David Johnson at running back, and Larry Fitzgerald at wide receiver. Johnson went down in the season opener, and Palmer followed with a broken arm in Week 7. Both are likely done for the season. Arizona’s chances of contention were lost with them; Blaine Gabbert and Adrian Peterson simply are not adequate replacements.

Atlanta Falcons — Run defense

There have been some up-and-down performances by the Atlanta run defense this season, but overall, it has been the weakest part of their team. Their 4.4 yards per carry allowed is in the bottom ten of NFL teams this season, and their 113.9 yards per game is 13th-worst in the NFL. In all likelihood, they’re saved from worse because their offense and pass defense is good enough that teams have to play catch-up with them on a regular basis.

Baltimore Ravens — Offense

If the Ravens had even an average passing offense, they’d be a lock for the playoffs on the strength of their elite defense. As it is, they’re in the hunt, but are mostly at the mercy of Joe Flacco. The Ravens are dead last in the NFL with 1,807 passing yards. Yes, that’s even fewer than the Chicago Bears, who have spent entire games trying to ensure that rookie Mitchell Trubisky has to pass as little as possible. Flacco is iffy at the best of times, but he lacks weapons and doesn’t have enough skill to do it all himself.

Buffalo Bills — Run defense

The Bills’ run defense more or less fell apart during the month of November. After looking like a sturdy unit for much of the season, they gave up 194 yards to the New York Jets, 298 yards to the New Orleans Saints, and 146 yards at the Los Angeles Chargers. Perhaps trading Marcell Dareus wasn’t such a bright idea. They got back on track against a Kansas City Chiefs team that didn’t really have enough in the passing game to make the Bills respect it. The Bills were one of the biggest surprises of the first two months of the season, and if they want to get back to that standard, things have to improve on the defensive front.

Carolina Panthers — Turnovers

The Panthers look like they’re close to being back to their best after a down 2016. The defense is sturdy and there are dynamic talents on offense to help them move the ball. At this point, Carolina’s biggest issues tend to be rather self-inflicted. Only ten teams have more turnovers than Carolina’s 16, though that has improved slightly lately. Cam Newton, in particular, can still be a bit guilty of getting sloppy with the football and goes through periods where he isn’t very sharp. Their -6 overall turnover margin is an area they need to improve.

Chicago Bears — Passing offense

Mike Glennon was definitely not the answer to the Bears’ issues at quarterback, and Mitchell Trubisky isn’t quite ready to be the answer himself. The result is a Chicago offense that has not been very good in the air. Only the Ravens have fewer passing yards in 2017, and only three teams have fewer passing touchdowns than the Bears’ 10. Trubisky has a future in the NFL, but the future isn’t here yet. The Bears just aren’t very good right now.

Cincinnati Bengals — Rushing offense

Only the Arizona Cardinals have fewer rushing yards than the Bengals do in 2017, and the Cardinals can at least point to the fact that their starting running back succumbed to injury in the season opener as a valid excuse. The Bengals can’t offer that. Joe Mixon has had his moments, but he’s still a work in progress, and Jeremy Hill and Giovani Bernard haven’t been any better. That has put the onus entirely on Andy Dalton, which tends to not work out exceptionally well.

Cleveland Browns — Offense

From top to bottom on offense, the Browns just have very little to threaten opponents. DeShone Kizer hasn’t shown the consistent ability yet to be a starting NFL quarterback. Joe Thomas’ injury has left a weak offensive line in place. Accordingly, the Browns have allowed the third-most sacks in the NFL. Kizer is surrounded by few legitimate skill players who are of top quality. Cleveland’s 15.1 points per game is last in the league, as are their 28 turnovers in 11 games. It’s hard to find a bright spot.

Dallas Cowboys — Running game

There is a reason that Jerry Jones was so furious about the Ezekiel Elliott suspension. For all the talent Dallas has, including Dak Prescott at quarterback and Dez Bryant and Jason Witten in the receiving game, it was Elliott who keyed Dallas’ 2016 turnaround. Alfred Morris is simply not a sufficient stand-in. Elliott’s absence puts more pressure on Prescott and the defense, and they’re frankly having a hard time holding up their end of the bargain without the threat provided by Elliott. Since he’s been out, the team has failed to score in double-digits.

Denver Broncos — Quarterback

Denver is a mess in many respects right now, but a lot of it simply goes back to whoever they have under center. The Broncos have tried three quarterbacks in 2017, and none of them have been good enough. Trevor Siemian has seen the most action, while Brock Osweiler and Paxton Lynch have both gotten their chance and fallen short for various reasons. Only the Browns have thrown more interceptions than Denver’s group of quarterbacks (15 in 11 games). Finding a new QB will be high on the team’s wishlist this offseason.

Detroit Lions — Offensive line

The run defense has been an issue since Haloti Ngata got hurt, but that’s not the real issue that plagues the team. Matthew Stafford is a quality quarterback who is often rushed, flushed out of the pocket, and sacked — 36 times already in 2017, the third-worst mark in the NFL. The Lions have tried very hard to address their offensive line, but injuries have undone all those efforts. The result is an offensive line that struggles to protect its quarterback and is at least partly culpable for the team’s struggles in the run game as well.

Green Bay Packers — Quarterback

The Packers have given up a ton of sacks — 40, to be exact — but frankly, it wouldn’t matter as much if their regular starter were under center. Aaron Rodgers would have the Packers in the playoffs if he were healthy, but Brett Hundley isn’t close to being on the former MVP’s level. Sure, Hundley pushed the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday, but that good performance has not been the norm for him. There’s not a lot Green Bay can do about this, either, except hope that Hundley can keep them above water long enough for a miraculous return from Rodgers. Given how loaded the NFC is this year, that probably won’t happen.

Houston Texans — Quarterback

The NFL is cruel sometimes. The Texans looked like they were finally set at a position that has long tormented them when Deshaun Watson burst out of the gates with a series of brilliant performances that had him in the MVP conversation. Then he tore his ACL, and Houston was left with Tom Savage, who simply isn’t good enough. At least Houston can hope Watson makes a full recovery, because if he does, this won’t be a long-term problem that they will need to address again.

Indianapolis Colts — Offensive Line

It would be easy to blame all of Indianapolis’ problems on the fact that Andrew Luck missed the entire 2017 season and be done with it. Perhaps, though, it’s time to shed light on the issue that arguably played a role in Luck getting injured in the first place. The Colts have given up a league-worst 47 sacks in 11 games. Jacoby Brissett has been under every bit as much pressure as Luck always was. They’re endangering their quarterbacks at this point, which is something that needs to be fixed.

Jacksonville Jaguars — Blake Bortles

Cruel? Perhaps. But let’s be honest with ourselves. The Jaguars have an extremely gifted defense that is capable of both pressuring the quarterback and, thanks to Jalen Ramsey and A.J. Bouye, taking away the opponent’s biggest weapons. The run game is bolstered by Leonard Fournette, one of the game’s brightest young backs. Yet despite all this, Bortles is being allowed to lose games under center. Their defeat against the Arizona Cardinals, for instance, was largely thanks to an awful throw Bortles made late in the contest. If the Jaguars could just get a real quarterback, they could really make some noise.

Kansas City Chiefs — Alex Smith

Well, while we’re calling out individual quarterbacks, we might as well double down. It looked like Smith had silenced many of his doubters early in the season when the Chiefs sat comfortably at 5-0, and looked like a legitimate Super Bowl contender. They’re now 6-5, and nobody is quiet about Smith anymore. He’s thrown four interceptions to just three touchdowns over his last three games, including a stunning defeat to the New York Giants. Smith is too conservative, not good enough to take risks, and opponents know it. At some point, the Chiefs have to do better.

Los Angeles Chargers — Run defense

Nobody has allowed more rushing yards than the Chargers have. Their 1,468 yards allowed is just ahead of the New York Giants, but the Chargers have allowed that mark on 32 fewer carries. They’re allowing nearly five yards per run. Perhaps the focus from their pass rushers to get after the quarterback has something to do with it. The Chargers have a lot of issues — their home field advantage is nonexistent, for starters — but not being able to stop the run is a huge problem that has plagued them all season long.

Los Angeles Rams — Run defense

It’s a widespread problem, isn’t it? The Rams aren’t quite as bad defending the run as some other teams, but it has been a clear issue for a team that is otherwise excellent. They’re sixth-worst with 1,356 rushing yards allowed, and only two teams — the Chargers and New England Patriots — have allowed more yards per carry than they have. They’ve held up well against the pass and have a solid offense, but it’s on the ground that the Rams can sometimes be found wanting.

Miami Dolphins — Run game

Miami’s offense as a whole hasn’t been all that great in 2017, with alleged “quarterback whisperer” Adam Gase struggling to make things work, particularly once Jay Cutler went down with a concussion. The run game, in particular, has been abysmal. They’ve tallied up only 871 rushing yards and one rushing touchdown for the entire season. They jettisoned Jay Ajayi at the trade deadline, which was definitely a surprise. The truth is nobody has gotten it done out of their backfield all season.

Minnesota Vikings — Kicking

You really have to squint to find a weakness in a Vikings team that’s running away with the NFC North. They have an elite defense, skill players everywhere, and have weathered the absences of Teddy Bridgewater and Dalvin Cook perfectly. The biggest real issue is kicker Kai Forbath. Forbath has been fairly steady going 24-28 on field goals, but he’s missed two from between 30 and 39, along with five missed extra points. The Vikings have the lowest extra point conversion rate in the league. Fine margins can matter in the playoffs. This is, after all, a franchise that has a very long history of missed kicks proving vital in playoff games…

New England Patriots — Offensive line

If you had asked this question earlier in the season, the answer would have been the defense. But that unit has really turned things around since being torched in September and hasn’t allowed more than 17 points in a game during the current 7-game winning streak. Now the biggest issue for the Pats seems to be the offensive line. In the team’s recent win over Miami, Tom Brady was hit eight times and even acknowledged he was “a little sore” afterwards. Protecting Brady so he can be at his best is the biggest key for this time.

New Orleans Saints — Run defense

In terms of pure yardage, the Saints’ run defense is pretty much in the middle of the NFL ranks, but a deeper dive demonstrates their issues. They allow 4.6 yards per carry, fourth-worst in the league. The saving grace is that there aren’t as many attempts against them. The Saints have a high-powered offense that tends to put up points quickly, ensuring that the run game isn’t really a valid option to get back into the contest against them.

New York Giants — Offense

There’s a reason why the Giants made a QB switch this week. Their offense has been non-existent all season, even before half their wide receivers went down with injuries. The team is 31st in the league in points per game with just 15.6 on average, and their 295.9 yards per game isn’t much better at 28th. They’re falling behind in games, which allows opponents to run all over them and kill the clock. They only have three rushing touchdowns all season, and it took about six weeks before they found a decent running back in Orleans Darkwa. They’ve been held to 10 or fewer points in five of 11 games this season and have yet to crack 30 points since Ben McAdoo took over as head coach.

New York Jets — Pass protection

The Jets have been a surprise in 2017 mostly because they haven’t been terrible as many expected. The offense hasn’t been great, but it hasn’t been bad, either. The same goes for the defense. Very little stands out about the Jets, but it’s fair to say quarterback Josh McCown has had to absorb a lot of pressure. He’s been sacked 35 times (sixth-worst in the league) and hit 71 times (8th-worst in the league). That’s 9.1% of pass attempts that ended in a sack, the third-worst tally in the entire NFL.

Oakland Raiders — Pass defense

It’s been a disappointing season all around for the Raiders, but opposing quarterbacks have had a pretty good time with them in 2017. Opposing passers have a league-best 110 rating against them. Their 2,693 pass yards allowed is sixth-worst in the NFL. Every team that has allowed more has seen it happen on more attempts than Oakland has given up. That means the Raiders are giving up an average of 7.8 net yards per pass attempt, which is 4th-worst in the league. They also are last in the league with just one interception, which they finally got last week.

Philadelphia Eagles — Discipline

Carson Wentz is great, they run the ball fantastically, their defense is smothering. The Eagles are great and, like a few other teams, their biggest enemy is likely themselves at this point. The Eagles are in the top ten in the NFL in penalty yards taken, ninth overall with 678 yards in penalties amassed. They’re tenth in overall penalties taken. None of these figures are exceptionally awful, but it is frankly representative of their biggest problem right now.

Pittsburgh Steelers — Turnovers

In general, the Steelers are great. Le’Veon Bell and Antonio Brown give them two of the NFL’s best skill players, and their defense has been a dominant unit for much of the season. They just have to minimize the mistakes. In particular, Ben Roethlisberger needs to keep control of the ball. Only five teams have thrown more interceptions, though to be completely clear, five of Pittsburgh’s 12 interceptions this year were thrown in one game against the Jacksonville Jaguars. They have turned the ball over 16 times this season and simply must avoid beating themselves.

San Francisco 49ers — Passing offense

The 49ers have a lot of problems — they’ve been frail defensively, too — but quarterback play has been an issue all season long. They haven’t been particularly awful in terms of passing yards, but at the end of the day, the 49ers are not throwing for touchdowns. They’ve thrown for a league-worst nine touchdowns in 11 games. One of them was a garbage time score by Jimmy Garoppolo against the Seahawks. We’ll see where they go from here with Garoppolo under center instead of C.J. Beathard, but it’s probably too late to save this offense.

Seattle Seahawks — An injury-riddled defense

Kam Chancellor’s season-ending injury is the latest blow to a defense that has taken a lot of them in 2017. Cliff Avril isn’t there, and Richard Sherman had already gone down for the season before Chancellor followed. The Seahawks have held up well so far, though their most recent opponent, the San Francisco 49ers, don’t pose much of a threat against anyone. With the Eagles looming, the depleted defense may find themselves up against it.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Defense

As much of a disappointment as Jameis Winston has been on the other side of the ball while fighting a shoulder injury, the Tampa Bay defense has simply been abysmal. No team has allowed more yards than the Bucs — 4,351 so far. That’s mostly down to 3,131 passing yards, easily the worst mark in the league. They are, in fact, the only team in the NFL to give up more than 3,000 passing yards in the first 11 games of the season. There are a ton of issues with Tampa Bay, but they simply have not been able to stop any opposing passing games and don’t have anyone who can cover outside of Brent Grimes.

Tennessee Titans — Third-down conversions

The Titans have had their fair share of issues extending and finishing drives. They’re slightly over 50 percent in the red zone, which is middle of the pack in the league, but they’re in the bottom ten when it comes to third down conversions, sitting at a poor 36 percent. It’s anyone’s guess what the issue is down to, but the Titans have a fairly talented squad. They could be better if they could buy themselves an extra set of downs just a bit more frequently.

Washington Redskins — Injured running back corps

It’s not Washington’s fault that their group of running backs can’t stay healthy, but they’re down to option number three on the depth chart. Samaje Perine hasn’t been bad, but top offensive threat Chris Thompson is done for the season, as is No. 1 back Robert Kelley. Part of the problem has been an offensive line that was riddled with injury until recently, but the Redskins are trying hard to piece it together in the backfield. As it stands, they’re tied for 23rd in the league with 3.9 yards per carry and have fumbled eight times, though they’ve only lost two.

from Larry Brown Sports http://ift.tt/2BxugKN