#their looks have obviously turned into each other with will all clean shaven and in a button down while Hannibal wears a shirt and informal

[newvision]

Every time I drink wine I am will graham looking down at a shot hannibal and we have become each other and he is bleeding out and I am savouring the moment by drinking wine the way he does and I gloat like god often does and he takes the violence the way I did every time he violated me and he almost dies from a distant form of violence but what ultimately really kills him are my hands the way I said I’d do it anyway who wants another glass

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere Coworker

Tw: violence, afab reader, A Lot Of Words

masterlists part 2

This is a pretty slow burn fic, enjoy yall

Minors and ageless blogs DNI please i will block u <3

You only ever talked to him once or twice, barely even remembering his name. You always mistook him as 'Citrus'. But he would correct you and say his name is Cyprus.

He doesn't speak to anyone, always working away at his cubicle. You would have to pass by his seat a few times to hand some reports, it was always barren. Nothing that showcases his personality outside work, no framed pictures, no trinkets, no keychains, and definitely no bowl filled with candies.

Yet, everyone gossips about him. He is undoubtedly attractive, you could see a faint outline of his toned muscles through his white, dress shirt. He wears a pair of titanium, rectangular glasses on the bridge of his nose. Always clean-shaven with a short, smart haircut. His skin has a healthy glow and gorgeous tan to it with barely any blemishes except the scar that cuts through his thick eyebrows and full lips. That adds to his rugged charm.

Everyone thought that his ears were weird, but refrained from talking about it, fearing that HR would pay them a visit for workplace bullying.

Your coworkers tried to buddy up with him before, either for office politics or genuine interest in him for being tall, dark, and handsome. But in the end, they failed and gave up. Because he would only talk to them about work, or not speak at all, just stare at them deadpan before telling them he has something to do.

You knew his good looks earned him your manager's favor. You have been observing him just like everyone in the room, he comes in at 9AM on the dot, and leaves at 5PM on the dot. Once his shift is over, nothing can stop him. No matter how high up there in the office hierarchy, no one can convince him to stay even as little as 5 minutes. It is especially egregious during meetings, despite being obviously nowhere near its conclusion, once the clock hits five, Cyprus would get up, politely yet albeit gruffly excuse himself, and leave the room.

You tried following his example once. You were called into HR the next day for not being a "team player". It isn't only you, even your other colleagues received a scolding for setting such boundaries while Cyprus left the building without having any sass thrown at him. It's either he gets preferential treatment or he does not give a damn if he gets fired from this job.

He disappears during lunch. Absolutely no one can find him, not in the break room, not the bathroom, and not even the parking lot. It was like a sighting of a cryptid when he would occasionally enter the communal kitchen to make himself a cup of black coffee, no sugar nor milk.

Of course, each time people would try to entertain him with small talk. Cyprus would simply reply with one-word answers or nothing at all.

Obviously, he isn't interested in letting his professionalism slip. Why bother trying to gain his approval? Whenever you had the pleasure of being alone in the coffee room with him, you would nod at him as a greeting, and he would do the same. After either one of you finished your business there, no goodbyes would be said.

There was a day when you decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator, it's always occupied and you would have to wait ages. By the time it reaches your floor, it will have already taken up half of your lunch break. Might as well get some exercise in.

You frowned at how dingy it was, but you started your journey downwards.

After reaching the next floor, you were surprised to catch none other than Cyprus sitting on the steps. He turned his head to you, seemingly annoyed at something. He has his phone in one hand and an unlit cigarette in the other one.

You happen to be holding a lighter for your friend. You offered it to him, and Cyprus would gladly accept it. He grumbled out a 'thanks' before handing it back to you. Not liking the smell of cigarette fumes, you gave him an acknowledging look and left him alone.

He gazed at you pensively as you descended the stairs while blowing a puff of smoke from his mouth. The cigarette was held between his index and middle fingers.

It's been three months since you first joined this company. The only thing you knew about Cyprus is that he worked here longer than you, has a cig for lunch, and isn't a pushover. From what you learned from your colleagues, he only worked here for a year before your arrival. Right off the bat, he's already acting like this. Never sucking up to the higher-ups or going above and beyond like other newbies would.

Though, it isn't like he's a horrible worker. Cyprus wasn't the best either. He just does just enough not to get dismissed. He reaches his deadlines, has everything in writing, and would professionally call anyone out for giving him too much to do.

Since the day where you used the stairs, you would always bump into Cyprus without fail. Looks like you found his hiding spot and he is always filling up his lungs with grey poison. But you had no desire to share it with anyone, he probably would prefer to keep his safe haven unoccupied. The only constant daily interaction that the two of you had was a mutual nod.

There was a particular day when you decided to put on a new pair of work shoes. It was also the same day when you had to rush out of the building for an important appointment. You didn't realize how slippery the soles were, it took one misstep and you found yourself tumbling down the stairs.

Luckily though, your collision course was stopped by a pair of strong arms catching you before you could hit the wall.

Cyprus helped you up. But you had no time to waste, you muttered a quick thanks before rushing to flee the scene again.

His sharp eyes must have picked up what the problem is. Well, it didn't take a genius. You were already barely keeping your balance while scrambling to get back onto your two feet. So, Cyprus would apprehend you by the wrist, preventing you from going down.

"Stop rushing, you're going to slip again." He said, his voice was deep enough to feel it vibrating in your bones.

You end up taking off your shoes and assuring him you're going to be fine. He lets you go and you take off running, regardless of his command.

You came back the next day with a bruise on your forehead and another pair of shoes on your feet. Your nosy coworkers flocked around your table to ask what happened. You said your stupid shoes were too slippery, you slipped and hit your head. Leaving out the part where Cyprus helped you out at the stairs.

Just like usual, you took the stairs again during your lunch break.

You expected a nod and nothing else.

"You okay?" He asked. Which surprised you. Switching the focus from the steps to Cyprus, who is standing tall on the platform with a cigarette between his lips.

You muttered yes, and a "thanks for asking". You had somewhere to be, so you moved past him and left him there. Cyprus didn't make a move or say anything else.

The week goes by like usual. Though, Cyprus is oddly "chattier".

"How's your head?" He would ask this on random days. You would always reply with a "fine" and a "thanks for asking", not wanting to waste his precious smoking time, you left him alone almost immediately.

You had a bad day at one point, you got yelled at by five different bosses, someone took credit for your contribution, you weren't invited to lunch and you were told to work overtime. Dragging yourself down the stairs with your head hung down low. You didn't look up to nod at the male leaning against the wall.

He cocked an eyebrow as he saw you sitting on one of the steps with a somber expression.

You asked him if you could have a stick too. Cyprus handed you one without a complaint. He fired his lighter and lit your cigarette between your fingers up.

It was obvious to him that it was your first time smoking. You immediately started hacking wildly as soon as the sharp, unkind fumes hit the back of your throat. This did not calm you down at all, what a scam. You thought it would lift the weight off your shoulders like how it was advertised in movies, it gave you more stress instead.

"Bad day?" He asked, with a new amused expression on his hunky face. You confirmed it, but not giving him any details.

You said that smoking sucks and it didn't help you, looking visibly upset and at the brink of tears. Asking if he could dispose of it for you. He gladly took it from your hands.

You walked away, grumbling incoherently as you tried thinking of other ways to relieve your stress for the day.

Cyprus snuffs his older cigarette out using the heel of his leather shoes. He brought yours to his lips and closed his eyes as he inhaled the newer smoke.

Days turned into weeks, into months. It just repeats every day, you would encounter him at the stairs, and sometimes he would say something more, or nothing at all. The only notable event that happened to both of you, is that you brought back a takeaway that you didn't like and bumped into him at the stairs. You were clear as to why you're giving him a box of food, you personally hated it but you couldn't let it go to waste. None of your 'friends' wanted them either.

Luckily, he is alright with it. He ate something other than his cancer stick that day for lunch. Cyprus thanked you for it and you went back up to your cubicle.

Come Valentine's Day, you're baffled as to who left you a bouquet of roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolates on your desk. It couldn't have been Cyprus, that's for sure. Because you come in earlier than he does.

You looked over to his cubicle to see that it's piled with Valentine's day gifts. But no Cyprus nor his belongings since it's still 8:45AM. You're more likely to catch him dead than acting enthusiastic to come to work.

Scratching your head, your admirer left a cryptic note that said:

"I like you and I want to get to know you more.

Meet me in parking lot 1-A at 5:30pm. I'll take you out for dinner.

-R."

Cyprus definitely doesn't start with an R. You tried thinking about the times where you interacted with coworkers with R as part of their initials. You may be amicable, yes, but you don't think you come off as flirty. It was all an act to not get eaten up by office politics.

God, you hope none of them had the wrong idea. You hope whoever this is, doesn't have a big influence over your boss. You're cooked if you do. Because you are not meeting them at all.

You shoved the gifts under the desk, removing all evidence of it before you attract the attention of your noisy colleagues. You were so distracted clearing your desk that you didn't realize Cyprus walked past your cubicle a bit closer than usual.

You're a bit frazzled over this. Worrying about the consequences of rejecting this mystery person, but fearing that you will be a victim of violence when you meet them at a secluded parking lot.

So you head to the break room to make yourself a drink. The room was empty, everyone was too busy fawning over their own gifts instead.

Except Cyprus, it seems.

He entered a moment later as you're filling up your cup with hot water.

"You got anything?" He asked. You whipped your head to him and saw that he was focused on fixing his own cup of coffee.

"For valentines. I mean." He leaned against the counter as he waited for the coffee machine to drip liquid caffeine into his mug.

You said yes. Roses and chocolates. You are trying to figure out who it is.

He looked taken aback. You don't know if he's surprised that you have admirers, or the fact that you look like you're being hunted.

You excused yourself with a stammer and scurried away, having your mind occupied with anxiety.

You barely paid attention to your work, dreading as the clock ticks by and inching closer and closer to 5:30PM.

When it reaches lunchtime, you climb down the stairs as usual.

"Bad day?" He asked, taking a drag out of his cigarette.

You said no. But before you could leave, he blocked your path.

"What's going on with you?" He asked, with a mild concern written on his face.

You said there is nothing wrong. You have to leave now for a galentines day lunch with your female coworkers. So you squeezed past him.

In the end, you decided not to go to the parking lot. Once you saw Cyprus leave the floor at 5pm sharp, you began packing up. Bringing your roses and chocolates with you.

However, you didn't go to the parking lot. You went straight home instead, wondering if you made the right choice.

The next morning, your coworkers were gathered in a crowd to discuss their new gossip material. You joined in, wanting to appear as a "team player" just like how the HR department wanted you to be.

"Yeah! That's so weird, do you think he was waiting for someone?"

"Must be, why else would Cyprus stay here till ten?"

You asked where they saw Cyprus.

One of them showed you a picture of him leaning against his deep blue sedan. A lit cigarette in his mouth while his hands were in his pockets. The floor was littered with cigarette butts. The photo was taken from a distance, they probably wouldn't want Cyprus to catch them in the act.

You examined the picture for any clues as to where he was located.

Your face pales as soon as you see the sign "1-A". So that was him.

He didn't come in today. Your manager said he had to take an emergency leave, so you're tasked with covering his workload.

You were gnawing on your fingernails. Feeling extremely guilty and afraid, you are not using the stairs anytime soon. You do not want to face the awkwardness.

It was his fault anyways. How the hell would you know there is an R in his name? He had multiple chances to tell you about it yesterday, yet he didn't.

But you're scared. You have no idea what this man is capable of and you value this job too much.

You refrained from going into the break room and the stairs. You would rather waste your time waiting for the elevator than to face Cyprus alone.

Only to find that he started smoking outside.

You stayed at your desk during lunch.

Only to find Cyprus doing the same now.

In the end, you found refuge in the women's bathroom. Camping there for the entire duration of your break.

He is actively trying to talk to you. But you always act like you have a bladder infection when he approaches you, urgently needed to use the toilet now.

You avoided eye contact with him and whenever you have to hand him a stack of papers, you would just drop them on his desk and rush back to your own.

That was embarrassing. Although you weren't the one being rejected, you felt crappy.

Even if he was upfront with his feelings for you, it was unlikely you would have agreed. Cyprus is too enigmatic, who knows what lies under his cool exterior? Plus, you don't like the smell of cigarette smoke.

This is crazy, you're constantly under pressure everyday. From Cyprus's silence on the matter and the fear of having your coworkers finding out about your 'relationship' with him over that one year.

You decided to head to a bar one night to drink your worries away.

It was nearly empty, save for a few patrons scattered around. You swore you saw a lot more people walk in when you got off the bus. Where did they all go?

Someone sat next to you, a stranger. A charming one too, bought you a drink. You smiled as you warily decided to chat with him.

The alcohol certainly helped to ease the jumpiness, you're calm and enjoying the time you're sharing with this man who you never met. He cracked jokes which you would laugh at and you would talk about your office woes to him in a drunken stupor.

The drinks kept coming, you were heavily intoxicated whereas he is completely sober. The man barely drank while you finished around seven glasses. The bartender didn't seem to care that you're too giggly and swaying side to side. Your speech is slurred as you let yourself relax.

The man paid his tab and rose up from the stool. He wrapped his arm around your waist and slung your arm around his shoulders. You told him that you wanted to stay here, but he didn't listen. You asked him multiple times where he was taking you, but the man didn't respond to it.

You're about to be lifted off your seat, until a fist travelling at lightning speed collides with the stranger's jaw. The impact made a sickening crack, followed by the clattering of loose teeth onto the wooden floors.

Some droplets of red got onto your cheeks and your office wear.

You sobered up a bit from the sudden attack, you were left unharmed but you couldn't say the same to your new friend.

A hulking figure was giving him the beatdown of his life, throwing powerful punches after powerful punches. The bar was thrown into chaos at the sudden act of violence, the screams, shouts and hollers were hurting your ears and head.

You threw yourself at his assailant, trying to get whoever is pummeling the man senseless to stop. He's not moving anymore! His blood pooled around his body and the two pairs of feet, including yours.

The bartender tried to break it up, this man was so full of rage, that nothing would stop him from taking out his anger on this stranger.

You cried, sobbing and begging him to stop. But he never listened, only after he was satisfied did he turn around to face you. His knuckles dripping with blood that isn't his, pecs that rose up and down as he breathed heavily. Adrenaline was still coursing through his bloodstreams, that is why his pupils were dilated within his steely grey eyes.

You were harshly tugged away by someone else. You looked behind you and it's the bartender, he brought you to safety as more people joined in the fight.

Maybe they wanted to avenge their friend, or they just wanted to beat him for bragging rights, or they could simply be drunk. Regardless, they were armed with chairs and broken bottles.

Cyprus dodged the first few blows and blocked the next ones. He grabbed an attacker by the arm and painfully twisted it, leaving him to scream and writhe on the ground. He blocked the strike from the wooden chair with an arm and punched another person square in the face, disfiguring their nose.

He delivered a devastating uppercut to one of the more erratic and violent patrons, swiping them off their feet using his leg before kicking them with enough force to push them far away.

One of them had the misfortune of tasting his deadly hook to the side of the face, knocking them out cold. Their limp body hits the floor with a deadening thud.

After that, no one dared to take him on. They're either keeping their distance or unconscious on the floor. He turned around and glowered at the bartender, who shrugged coolly and guided you to him.

Through your tears, you make out that familiar face of your quiet coworker. You were stunned with a million questions running through your head.

His massive hand grabbed you by the face, turning it left to right, examining if you endured any injury from the creep.

You were still under the influence, so you broke down crying and apologizing that you stood him up on Valentine's. You pleaded with him not to hurt you.

Cyprus supported an arm behind your back and under your knees, carrying you close to his chest as he fled the scene before he could get in trouble.

Your legs dangle as he carried you bridal style. The world is spinning and you could barely stay awake. This felt like a nightmare that you would have after pulling an all-nighter to finish a report.

But one thing that you kept your eyes on are his ears. You realized that you remembered seeing it somewhere online:

Seasoned boxers have cauliflower ears like Cyprus's

[pedroshotwifey]

Know Better

Pairing: Daddy!Dave York x bratty!fem!reader

Word count: 1.2k

tags/warnings: heavy daddy kink, spanking, dom dave york, sub reader, vaginal fingering, orgasm denial, pussy spanking, brat tamer dave york, dirty talk, embarrassment

Summary: You disobey Dave and he has no choice but to punish you for it.

A/N: Here's a surprise Dave fic that nobody asked for because I got pissed off on vacation. Also, I saw this as a sugar daddy/brat kind of situation, but you can obviously imagine it any way you want!

*****

“Daveee!”

You whine loudly from where you’re perched and on a pool float, watching him as he makes another business call. He shoots you a sharp look that should be warning enough for you to stop, but you’ve never been one to learn your lesson the easy way.

You know it’s an important call since he paused his lounging with you to answer it. The two of you have been sitting by the pool for a few hours now, not really talking, but just enjoying each other’s presence as he read a book in his chair, and you laid out on your long float. Still, you can’t help but try to get his attention solely on you again. 

“Daveeeee,” you moan again, stretching his way. 

He turns to look at you again, gaze fiery as he points to the phone and mouths at you to quit. You should probably stop while you’re ahead, but you don’t. With all the work he’s been doing lately, he promised he would be spending this weekend with you, and only you.

You put on a heavy pout and pull yourself out of the pool to walk over to him. You can’t hear what’s being said on the other side of the phone, but it’s not like you’re trying too hard as you walk up to him and throw your arms around his neck. You nuzzle a couple of kisses to his clean-shaven jaw and whisper in his unoccupied ear. 

“Come back, Daddy. I want you over here.” 

He moves his hand to your waist, and you think for a second that you’ve won him over—quicker than you thought you would as well. But then he squeezes. Hard. Hard enough for you to attempt to get out of his grasp.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Tell, but I’m going to have to give you a call back.”

Your eyes widen at the grip and the tone he speaks with. And that name…you know that name. You know they must be talking about…

Shit. That’s what you’re in. Deep fucking shit.

“Yes sir, thank you. Bye.”

He hangs up the phone and sets it slowly on the table next to him. His hand comes up to grip your forearm tightly and he leans down until his face is less than an inch from yours. 

“What the fuck did I tell you about interrupting my phone calls?” he demands in a cold tone. 

You shiver in his hold as shameful tears start to sting the backs of your eyes. You’ve never heard him talk to you in such a way. Sure, he’s been firm at times, maybe agitated with your bratty attitude, but never downright angry at you.

“Dave, I-I didn’t mea—“

“Inside,” he growls. “Now. And I don’t know who the fuck you’re calling ‘Dave’ right now.” 

He lets you go with a small but forceful push toward the door. You know what happens now. Again, he’s dabbled in the idea of punishment, but so far, he’s never actually had a good reason to act on it. 

You take a trembling step inside and head toward the bedroom, Dave hot on your heels. You don’t even have a chance to peel out of your bathing suit before he grabs your arm again and drags you over his lap as he takes a seat on the bed. You yelp as he pulls your bikini bottom down, exposing your lower half. 

“I take it you understand how important that call was.”

He waits for you to nod softly before continuing, one hand rubbing your ass in a careful motion. 

“So you understand why I’m doing this. ” 

You nod again, holding in a sniffle. 

He doesn’t wait any longer before lifting his hand and then bringing it down hard on your bare ass. You grasp the sheets in front of you and yelp in pain. Your skin is still damp from getting out of the pool, so the smack hurts even more than it would normally.

You bite your lip to hide any more sounds as he quickly does it again, your body jolting with the force of it.

“Little fucking brat. Think you can just have all of my time.”

You sniff, a rogue tear running down your cheek. 

“But, Daddy—“

Another smack, one that makes you practically scream comes down, and then another right after.

“Brats and attention whores don’t get to talk back to their daddies,” Dave barks back. He rubs your stinging ass again, and you flinch even at that contact. 

“You have three more.” He tells you, no gentleness in his tone. “Count.”

You nod and brace yourself for the next hit, but it doesn’t come. Instead, you feel him reach his hand lower to rub across your wet folds. A dark chuckle comes from above you as he runs his middle finger over your clit. 

“Fucking slut,” he breathes through a laugh. 

It’s only then, once you relax, that he spanks you again, this time with enough force to cause a welt. You scream out and squirm in his lap. 

“Count.” 

“O-One,” you shake. 

He rubs your pussy again, roughly smearing your slick. He then brings that same hand up and delivers another swift slap.

“Two,” you say, tears running freely now. 

And again, his hand is back, one finger prodding your hole and making you moan despite yourself. 

But then he retracts it and winds up to send the last spank onto the sensitive flesh of your ass. 

“Three!” You scream as your body jolts.

Even though you can still feel his anger, Dave relaxes a bit at your pain and obvious regret. His hand goes down to your cunt again, letting a finger slide fully in this time. His thumb goes to your clit, rubbing tight circles as a coil starts to wind in your abdomen. 

“Mm, Daddy, please,” you beg. It feels so good. You never thought pain could contrast pleasure so nicely. 

“Yeah, you want Daddy to let your slut pussy come on his hand?” 

“Mm, yes please, Daddy.”

You keeps working you, letting you get closer and closer, your toes start curling as you grasp onto the sheets and then—

Then he pulls out. You whine sharply in protest.

“Daddy, no!”

You shut up as he spanks your pussy, a wet smacking sound coming from between your messy thighs, which tremble with the rest of your body at the feeling. The build up is gone, and you’re left feeling betrayed and embarrassed. Not to mention with a sore ass. 

“No. Bad girls don’t get treats.”

He helps you up, your bikini bottoms still around your knees as he stands up.

“Go get in the shower. Dinner will be ready when you get out.” He turns to leave, but then turns back to you after a couple of steps. “And don’t you fucking dare touch that little cunt. I’ll know if you do, and you won’t be coming for a long time if you choose to disobey me again.”

He leaves the room without another word, leaving you needy and fucking furious. But you get in the shower anyway, and you don’t risk touching yourself—even though you really fucking want to. You know better than to disobey Daddy, after all. 

******

Hi, babes! Sorry I've been a bit off the radar recently. I've been on vacation (as previously mentioned) but will be coming back tmw. TTF updates and requested fics will be posted regularly once I get back home!

[guroseinsei]

little post-s7e10 monk ficlet.

yes, stottlemeyer without a mustache. i was just as surprised as monk.

can find it here or on AO3.

“Y’know, I thought you'd like me better without the mustache.”

The plates are all stacked up behind him, he can hear Leland placing them where they belong. He preens, just a little before he turns around to face him.

It is still a bit odd—the captain without his mustache and clean shaven. He'd given it a thought before; mentioned it in a mumbled passing how it tickles and burns and scratches whenever they press against each other, Monk still building the confidence to get past soft kisses.

He remembers the little red marks that he'd noticed hours later, at a crime scene, on his wrist; he'd yelped thinking they were bites of some kind, rashes at the very worst but they had in the end, simply been the work of Leland's mustache burns left behind from the kisses he'd peppered on Monk's wrists the night before.

“I, well.” Monk starts, he's of the opposite opinion now. The Captain looks better with his mustache. “I guess I was wrong.”

“Wrong huh.” The Captain echoes smugly, tilting his head to the side as he tosses the handcloth into the bin. “Not often that you're wrong, Monk.”

Monk stutters, “I guess I do prefer the mustache now.”

The Captain eyes him in the corner of his eye, throwing out the rest of things Monk will never, ever use again and will throw away if he doesn't, “Do you?”

Ears aflame and nose crinkled in defeat Monk turns to rearrange the utensil drawer once more; the forks are always quite stubborn, never really staying still.

But he doesn't get the chance to slide the drawer open; one of the Captain's hands is at his waist—right, obviously, his right thumb is always fidgety, tracing circles against Monk's side, “I'm teasing.” The Captain says, smiling, his eyes crinkling and shining mischievously blue, “Though, ‘m afraid you can't knock it off till you try it.”

Monk's curiosity has always gotten the better of him. Even when his phobias come to shove, he battles them just as he does for any other thing and any other day, but there's a beseeching itchy feeling he just can't shake till he figures it out—or even better, manages to try it out.

Monk huffs, laughing quietly, nervously as the Captain keeps his hold light but encouraging.

Another step forward he has to take; and surprisingly actually wants to. The Captain is patient, waiting, his upturned smirk never falling.

He knows he's challenged Monk. And as much as Monk likes to think it, confess it and give into it; how lacking he is, how he rather wouldn't; he always takes it up.

A little lift of his toes, his left hand on the Captain's chest and his heavy, warm breath before everything is quiet and he feels the coldness melt away, a burst in his lungs that makes him not want to pull away but—but—

Leland is laughing, deep in his chest that Monk feels like he's the one laughing instead, “That bad huh?” He asks as Monk pulls away, nose crinkled.

“Bad? No. No. Not really.” Monk says, palm still against the Captain's chest, “Just, not really your style.”

The Captain snorts, eyebrows raised, “In that case, I guess I have no other choice but to grow it back.”

[mutatiio]

@mayxthexforce sure is having a time!!

When Obi-Wan opened his eyes. He was not on the precarious but functional bed he'd been on when he went to sleep, but all tangled up in the twisted remains of a crashed speeder. Soon, the memory of having been on a bed in a spaceship, many years after the Pijal incident, completely vacated his mind as panic took over. He remembered hopping into the speeder to lure the scum of this planet away from his Master and civilians, because he'd always been a better pilot than Qui-Gon; remembered being chased by people who wanted to kill him, remembered the blaster shot hitting the thrusters and sending him spiraling to the ground in a cloud of smoke that disoriented his persecutors.

The miles and miles of muddy land that formed Pijal's wrongly-called 'meadows' was probably the only thing that saved him from being fully crushed by the weight of the speeder. But that was as far as his luck got.

His head was bleeding. He could tell because instead of sliding down his face, the blood was dripping into the muddy ground below him– he was upside down, somehow, the front of the speeder ended up twisted into a metallic mess and crushed one of the passenger seats right against his legs, trapping him. Obi-Wan couldn't move his legs, and all he could feel from the waist down was pain.

There was mud everywhere, on his hands, splattered on his face and clothes, there was also the mud swallowing the speeder, and on what was left of the windows, preventing him from seeing if there was any trace of civilization nearby.

"Help me!" he cried out, desperate. His ears rang as he tried to get the other seat and what had been the hood and control panel of the speeder to budge using his hands, and failed. "Somebody– anybody, please. I'm not dead! I'm stuck, I- I can't move!"

he had been sleeping in the scimitar. curled on the top bunk, savage's bunk. kenobi was below him, in his bunk. the transition was seamless, as though he was blinking. so far each of these experiences worked the same. one moment asleep, the next he was somewhere he didn’t recognise. this time he was standing in mud, boots sinking into it. he was whole here, the chronic pain of his injuries alleviated. though it brought him no solace. it just meant it would be back in tenfold when he woke and he would have to begin the arduous task of meditating it into power. he was wearing the same hooded linen cloak and dark robes he’d once worn during his apprenticeship. this is undoubtedly something that had occurred many years ago.

he was beginning to miss his own terrors. they weren’t better, but at the very least they were predictable. 

the yell for help strikes him and he turns to see a crashed speeder stuck in the mud. now that he sees it, the smell of smoke fills his senses. the voice was kenobi. younger, sounding a touch higher and far less burdened by time, but panicked. he had crashed. maul can’t help but blame the jedi’s way of teaching immediately. had they done it right, kenobi would be calm and not leaking nervous vibrations into the force. had he been his former self, he’d think of kenobi as nothing but a pathetic, coddled child, writhing and begging for a swift end. now… he’s not sure what he thinks.

he doesn’t hurry. this has already happened. the events here are doomed to repeat over and over again. whether he runs over or stays where he is doesn’t matter. it won’t change anything, except maybe kenobi’s opinion of him which he isn’t too bothered by. but the force wants him to see this. so he moves. 

as he draws closer, he can see the length the speeder slid before becoming fully jammed in the mud. the front and back were mostly covered, caved in. it was caked in mud. and the smoke, obviously, was a bad sign. how long until the whole thing went up in flames?? his eyes passively land on the boy. it’s definitely kenobi. a clean-shaven, cropped hair, unscarred version of him. the one he’d met on naboo… he looks incomplete. he’s panic-stricken.

" calm yourself, boy. " he says, moving the dodge the stupid padawan braid that dangles mid-air. if his past experiences with these ‘dreams’ stayed consistent, then he wouldn’t be able to use the force. wouldn’t be able to really change much at all. maul tries to look at what he’s working with, but it’s difficult to see anything. " do your legs have any give?? do you think i could pull you out?? "

[absurdthirst]

Fatal Break In {Frankie Morales x F!Reader x Dave York}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 7.6k

Warnings: Polyamory, MMF relationship, guns, threats of rape, threats of death, restraints, violence, so much violence, gore, torture, dismemberment, death, blood, biting, rough treatment (Frankie’s a little feral), hand jobs, face sitting, vaginal sex, soft aftercare. 

Comments: Your weekend away with your men turns into something from a movie. Escaped convicts ruining the quiet peace of the lonely mountain cabin. They think they have run into easy targets, until Dave and Frankie prove to them how very wrong they are. 

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

DEAD DOVE - DO NOT EAT : This work does contain materials that might be disturbing to some. Consume at your own risk. 

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

Your relationship with Dave York and Francisco Morales was anything but conventional. You were completely aware of that, but you honestly didn’t care. You know you sometimes received looks when you were out in public and switched from having your arm around Dave’s waist to sticking your hands in the back pockets of Frankie’s jeans. Obviously squeezing what little bit of booty the man possesses with eagerness. 

All that mattered was that for some strange reason, the three of you worked together. Amalgamated together in a partnership that was easier than you had ever thought possible with you had ever thought about the entire polyamory thing. Not that that was what you defined your relationship as. They were yours and you were theirs. It was as simple as that. 

“You know he’s going to spend all day on that dock with his fishing pole in the water.” The steam from Dave’s coffee cup curls lazily into the air. His breath just barely shows in the crisp morning as he grins and blows on it so he can take a sip. It wasn’t quite spring and for some reason, the need to get away from the city and come out into nature just called this weekend. 

“I know.” You lean in behind him and press your lips to his cheek, freshly shaven and you smirk at the obvious differences between the men. Dave was clean cut, freshly shaved even on an early Saturday morning. Whereas Frankie’s hair still stood up, poking out from where he had rolled out of bed and jammed that beloved Standard Heating Oil hat on his head leaving the house before the two of you had even opened your eyes. 

“Go out there and convince him to come up for some coffee.” Dave suggests, patting your ass gently when you come to stand beside the deck chair that he had claimed as his own. You don’t know where he had found this place but you were loving the isolation and the house itself was perfect for the weekend away. 

Frankie looks up as you approach him, his fishing line out as he watches the sun rise in the sky. “Hey baby. Good morning.” He murmurs, kissing your lips. 

“Hey. Davey says you should come in for coffee. I’ll make some pancakes too.” You offer, shifting to sit down beside Frankie, taking his hat off, and you run your fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah? With syrup and butter?” He asks, tempted by the idea. 

Neither of you are aware of the men lingering in the bushes across the lake, binoculars pressed to their face as they watch you and Frankie. “Look at her. Imagine her with my cock in her mouth. Tears streaming down her cheeks. Fuck. I’m getting hard.” He groans, reaching down to adjust himself.

The other man chuckles. “We’ll wait until the time is right, make sure no one else is around. They are the only house around with a car.” The jumpsuits each one of them are wearing are from a nearby prison facility. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had pussy. We’ll make sure we get a couple of turns with her before we kill her like the two little bitches she’s with.” Neither man had appeared very menacing from what he could see. Probably a banker and a mechanic or some shit. Nothing like the hardened killers they were.

Frankie follows you back to the cabin, Dave slapping his shoulder as both men make their way into the kitchen. Watching you cook breakfast as they have their morning cup of coffee. “So…any plans for today that don’t involve fishing?” Dave teases Frankie, reaching for his hand. 

Frankie smirks, “depends on what else is on the table.” 

Dave chuckles, “we could spread our girl out, let you eat her little pussy while I fuck you.” Dave murmurs, making Frankie shiver. 

“Breakfast first.” You tut, setting the pancakes down alongside the scrambled eggs and bacon.

Dave huffs and sends you a wink. “Always ruining the fun.” He complains, although he doesn’t mean a word of it. You are probably the best thing that’s ever happened to Frankie or Dave. Damned sure kept them from going off the deep end. Frankie had been flirting with substance abuse before you, and you accepted what Dave did for a living, although you never ask questions. “Everything looks so good.” He praises, leaning over and giving you a kiss when you sit down.

The three of you dig into the food, and you love watching the men eat. Both of them were too used to eating take out and frozen meals before you. You love spoiling them, cooking for them, and treating them. “So good.” Dave groans, rubbing his stomach. He will go for a run later, to try and work some of it off. He’s getting pudgy in his old age and he can’t have that with his job. 

“Better than what I could cook.” Frankie snorts, and you giggle, reminded of when he burned toast a few months ago.

“You mean you aren’t supposed to set off the smoke detector every time?” Dave huffs, rolling his eyes even as he’s grinning at the other man’s displeased face. 

“You can’t do better.” Frankie shoots back, making Dave shrug one shoulder. 

“Never said I could. When the hell would I have time to learn to cook? When we were in Panama? Or Iraq?”

You frown, reminded once again of the horrors both of your men have endured during their careers. “Well, it’s a good thing I’m here now to cook for you both.” You declare, digging back into your food. After the boys wash the dishes - a deal you’ve had since you all moved in together - you settle down on the porch to read while Frankie continues his fishing. 

“Has he actually caught anything?” Dave asks you. 

“No. No, but he just enjoys it. He likes the simple pleasures.” You hum, and Dave smirks, “except when it comes to sexual pleasure.”

You snort. “Like either one of you are simple in the bedroom.” Dave can’t deny it, knowing that what the three of you have is unique and spectacular. Dave was a part of Frankie’s unit, along with Pope and the Miller brothers, serving together for nearly five years under the old unit commander. Until Dave had been selected to go into Robert McCall’s unit and Tom Davis had taken over as the Delta team leader. 

From there, their friendship had survived the years and finally culminated into something more when both men had met you at a bar and when you couldn’t decide which man you wanted to take home with you, you had taken them both. Dave smirks, remembering that first night and getting to experience so much of what he wanted and never thought he could have. “Do I need to remind you?” He asks, fingers trailing up your thigh.

“I always need reminding.” You coo, leaning over to press your lips against Dave’s. His tongue immediately slides into your mouth, and you whimper when his fingers press against your clit through your shorts. 

“Started without me?” Frankie says as he appears, originally abandoning his fishing for some beer when he sees you and Dave kissing. 

“You were busy with your bait.” Dave chuckles, tilting his head up towards Frankie who leans down to press his lips to the assassin’s. 

“You two always look so good together.” You sigh, never tiring of seeing them pleasuring each other.

Dave cups the back of Frankie’s head, keeping him in the kiss for another moment before he pulls away and nods towards you. “Now give our girl a kiss.” He orders the pilot softly. He hasn’t forgotten how much Frankie loves taking orders at times and he smirks when he sees the shiver run down Frankie’s spine when he turns to do exactly as he told him to.

You stand up, wrapping your arm around Frankie’s neck as you drag him towards you for a kiss. He groans, grabbing your ass to pull you closer. Dave stands up, wrapping his arms around you and Frankie, leaning forward and he presses his lips to yours and Frankie’s, your tongues mingling as you grab onto the back of Dave’s neck.  You don’t click the approaching footsteps until the barrels of the guns are pressed against Dave and Frankie’s heads.

“Move and I put a hole in your head and skull fuck you before you get cold.” The warning is spit out harshly, making you gasp as you pull away from your men. The men in front of  you are wearing jumpsuits, sweat and grime with disgustingly predatory looks on their  faces, leering at you before they both look back at Dave and Frankie. “Open the door, sweetcheeks.” The one that is talking turns the gun towards you. “We need privacy even though no one can hear you scream out here, can they?”

Dave clenches his jaw, exchanging a look with Frankie, and they look at you. “Go on sweetheart, open the door for them.” Your men hold their hands up, making their way into the house after you open the door. 

“Get the fuck inside.” One of the convicts orders, his gun swinging around towards Frankie and Dave, pushing them towards the door. You are shaking, scared for your own life as well as your lovers.

Frankie tries to keep his cool, it’s hard when he sees you trembling in fear. The horror in your eyes at what might happen. You aren’t stupid, you know these men have nothing but bad intentions. Dave is calmer on the outside, his breathing much more steady than his lover’s, but inside he’s already planning on how he’s going to take them apart, piece by piece. “It’s going to be okay.” Dave promises you quietly.

The two men eye you up and down, smirks on their faces as Dave and Frankie stand off to the side. "Strip. I want to see you." One orders, pointing his gun at you while the other keeps his weapon pointed at Dave and Frankie. You glance over at your men, hands trembling, and Frankie shakes his head. "You have no fucking idea who you are messing with." He warns. 

"No? While she strips, you are gonna be good and let us tie you up. If you make one fucking move, she's dead."

“The best thing you can do for yourself is not to touch her.” Dave tells them softly, looking over at Frankie and there is a moment where they communicate silently. They can’t risk you getting shot and there is no way that they are going to let these fuckers touch you. Frankie’s eyes narrow and he nods subtly, understanding what Dave wants. Of the two men, Dave was always better at hand to hand combat but they needed to get you to the safe room first. 

"Yeah? You are going to watch while I fuck your girl? Gonna split her in two with my cock. She's gonna scream and there's gonna be nothing you can fucking do about it. I've been in prison for a long goddamn time and I plan to enjoy her pussy. Gonna fill her up with my cum before I slit her throat and let her bleed out before we kill both of you." He chuckles, tying Dave's hands while the other restrains Frankie.

Frankie snorts, barking out a short, ugly laugh. “You’re gonna split her open with that tiny, limp dick you have?” He spits. “You couldn’t fuck a gnat with that thing and I’ll fucking kill you if you touch her.” The man who is boasting about raping you scowls angrily, letting go of Dave after sloppily tying up his hands. Rushing over to Frankie and punching him on the jaw in fury. 

“You fuckin’ laughin’ now?” He snarls. 

Frankie’s head snaps to the side, the crunch of bone meeting bone and a trickle of blood starts to dribble out of the side of his mouth. He spits out blood, his chuckle is low and he looks up at his attacker with a smirk. “Yeah. You hit like a bitch.” 

You shake your head, shaking as the other man grabs your shirt, tugging it over your head to expose your tits. You've taken to not wearing a bra around the cabin. "Fuck. Look at those titties. Gonna enjoy slapping those while I fuck her." The other man who isn't tying Dave up groans, reaching out to flick your nipple with his fingers. You hiss at the pain, making Dave narrow his eyes. 

"You're so fucking dead." Dave warns them, which makes them laugh. 

"You hear that? Pretty boy wants to act like he's tough. You've never fucking killed a single fucking thing, have you? You fucking pussy."

Frankie huffs out a laugh. “You poor fuckers have no clue. Worst goddamn mistake of your lives right here. Not even the pathetic bullshit you pulled to land you in prison is worse than right now.” He tells them, glaring at them hotly. “You’re gonna wish you were still in that fucking cell getting fucked by the biggest motherfucker there soon.” 

The men laugh, chortling as they stare at Frankie and Dave in shock. "Buddy...you're fucking tied up. What the fuck are you gonna do when I shove my cock down your girl's throat?" He snorts. The other strides over to Frankie, leaning towards him, "I am gonna fuck her so hard, she bleeds out from my cock ripping her cunt into pieces." He taunts Frankie, who spits in his face. 

"You fucking piece of shit. You're not gonna touch her. We are gonna kill you...eventually." Frankie offers him a smirk, which makes the man mad. Swinging his fist, he hits Frankie again.

Frankie laughs, making your eyes widen as he continually taunts the men so that they punch him again and again. Sometimes in the stomach to make him double over, the air forced out of his lungs with a loud oof, but then he’s laughing, telling them something else to ignite their fury every more. Wanting them to hit him so they don’t notice Dave working himself free, nor do they notice that his own bonds are loose enough for him to slip out of.

You cover your chest, crying out for them to stop, but as soon as the shorter one goes to hit Frankie again, Dave grabs his wrist. “I wouldn’t suggest hitting my boyfriend anymore…pal.” He growls, eyes menacing as he twists until the man’s wrist is hanging, broken and limp. Frankie lunges forward, grabbing the other and working on tying him up in the rope he’d been poorly restrained with, except they won’t be getting free.

Dave lets go of the man, confident Frankie will handle him and he reaches for you. “Come on, sweetheart, I need to get you somewhere safe.” He wraps his arm around you and guides you down the hall. There is a bookcase built into the wall and he moves a book to press a button, making the bookcase swing forward to reveal a room. 

“What-” 

Dave shakes his head when you start to ask him what this place is. “Just go inside and close the door.” He tells you. “I’ll answer your questions later.” 

You nod, stepping in, and the door shuts, locking you in. You turn as the computer screens light up, and you look up as the screens display different cameras in the house, showing Dave as he strides back to the living room. You can’t believe he’s been surveilling the house but then you suppose you shouldn't be surprised. “What - what are you gonna do?” The prisoner tries to be confident as he eyes Dave, scared but unable to do anything.

Walking over to Frankie, Dave wipes a bit of blood away from his mouth. His lover’s face is slightly swollen, starting to bloom in bruises. “We’re going to let you go.” He announces, staring at Frankie - who quickly understands what is happening. “You have ten minutes to find someplace to hide. To try to get out - you won’t be able to. Then we’re going to hunt you down and kill you.”

The men scoff, almost disbelieving that these two pussies can kill them. “You have no idea who we are. We are convicts. We escaped from fucking prison. Life sentences for murder. We are gonna kill you.” He growls, making Dave chuckle. 

“You have no idea who we are. You’ve messed with the wrong fucking house.” Dave grabs the knife in his pocket and walks behind the men, cutting them free. “Ten minutes and counting.”

The one that had his wrist broken lunges for the gun that is still on the floor, but Frankie beats him to it. Brow furrowing in concentration while he starts to disassemble the weapon, breaking it down into pieces that the average man wouldn’t know how to put it back together. Quickly and methodically stripping it down until it is a useless pile of metal and springs. Dave smirks as Frankie drops the pieces to the floor. “Nine minutes.” 

The two men scramble, rushing out of the door into the woods past the driveway, and Dave turns to look at Frankie. “You take one, I’ll take the other?” He asks and Frankie nods. 

“Let’s get those fuckers.” Frankie says, his face is sore but it’s nothing he hasn’t dealt with before.

Dave smirks as they set out. The men are sloppy, crashing through the brush and leaving an easy to follow trail. He chuckles when he hears a loud curse about two hundred yards away. “Ready or not, here I come!” He calls out, hearing the man curse again, trying to rush away from the man who he had once been threatening to kill. 

You watch Dave and Frankie stalk off of the porch, making their way into the brush where they disappear. “Where oh where can you be?” Frankie taunts, pushing aside the branches as he easily tracks the fucker that hit him. “I’m coming!” He shouts, hearing him frantically try and hide.

It’s easy, too easy and Dave is disappointed that he didn’t provide him a better challenge. “Not so tough now, are you?” He taunts as the one he was tracking is now trapped, caught between Dave and a rock face that leaves him nowhere to go. The man whirls around, eyes wide when he sees Dave. 

“Who the fuck are you?” He demands, angry that he’s already been found. 

Smirking, Dave motions him closer. “Someone you shouldn’t have fucked with.” He promises. “Now, be a good boy and come on so I don’t have to break your other hand.”

The man tries, he tries hard, to shove Dave out of his way to make another attempt at escaping, but Dave captures him. “I warned you.” He tuts, grabbing his wrist and twisting it expertly to crush the bones, making the man cry out. “Now, let’s go back so you can apologize to our girl.” He grabs the back of his jumpsuit, dragging him along the forest floor.

Frankie chuckles as the man trips over a branch and falls down, sprawling across the leaves and cursing. “Look at you.” He mocks, shaking his head. “Who’s the pussy now? You couldn’t even get away when I gave you a head start.” Stalking over to the man, he hauls him up and grins. “Let’s go back to the house. I’m not done with you yet.” 

Frankie grabs the back of his jumpsuit, dragging him through the brush so he is scratched up when he is tossed onto the living room floor beside his friend who is nursing two broken wrists. Frankie is raring to go, ready to destroy these bastards for attempting to harm you. "What shall we do, Dave?" Frankie smirks darkly, looking at his boyfriend.

Dave turns, locking the door and pulling the key in the deadbolt to put it into his pocket. “I remember they said that we were pussies. Basically saying that we couldn’t hurt them or protect our woman.” He chuckles darkly. “I think we should show them exactly who they decided to fuck with today.” He looks over at them, dark eyes going flat and emotionless, like he does when he is working.”They think they are monsters. But they’ve never met real monsters like us.” 

The men tremble, their facades fading as they look up at Frankie and Dave, their eyes wide with fear. "They have no idea who they fucked with." Dave growls in response, pulling his knife out of his pocket. Frankie holds his hand out for it, taking it from his lover. Frankie bends over, twirling the knife. "You fucked with the wrong men. You were fucked the moment you entered this house, you were dead the moment you touched our woman." Frankie growls, grabs his ankle, and he slices the back of his heel, cutting his achilles.

You hear the scream of the man through the speakers in the safe room as if you were standing in the room with them. Watching through the monitors that have been set up. There are cameras everywhere. Nothing you have done in this house has not been seen by those cameras. You realized about the time that they were dragging the men back inside that this had to be one of Dave’s safe houses for work. A place where they could stash someone or lay low if needed. Which meant that there was no escaping this house for those two bastards. 

Frankie wipes the bloody knife on the man's jumpsuit, and grins when the man attempts to crawl away. "Leaving so soon? But I thought you were going to split my girlfriend in two?" He chuckles darkly, and Dave smirks, bending over to grab the hair of the other man. 

"I'm sorry. Man, I'm sorry." He cries.

Tsking, Dave shakes his head, putting the man up and making him turn to look up into a corner. “Uh, uh, uh, you don’t apologize to me, apologize to her.” He orders the man, leaning down and speaking into his ear before chuckling darkly. “She’s watching. She can see everything we do, hear everything we say. You beg her for your life.” 

“No. I- I won’t beg some bitch for my life. I won’t beg for my life. Fuck you.” He growls, spitting towards the camera Dave points at. “That wasn’t very nice.” Dave tuts, grabbing his hair, and keeping his gaze on the camera. “You’re gonna beg for your life. Right now…I’m gonna fucking take your eye.” He grabs his spare knife, immediately stabbing the convict in the left eye.

The screams of the man will probably haunt you, high pitched and filled with agony as your lover expertly ruins the man’s eye without killing him. Your own eyes watching as Frankie stalks after the one who is trying to crawl away slowly, watching the pathetic attempt to escape, the trail of blood similar to a snail’s slime trail. “Where are you going?” He asks, cocking his head curiously. “You think you are getting out of here? After you threatened to kill one of my lover’s and rape the other?” 

“Please. Please. I’m sorry.” He chokes, realizing how fucked they are as his friend’s blood drips from the hanging eyeball. 

“You’re not going anywhere. You’re gonna pay.” Frankie growls, lifting his knife up and bringing it down into the meaty thigh of his attacker, making him scream. “Are you going to beg for your life?” He chuckles, sharply withdrawing the knife. 

“Please.” He looks up at the camera, “please. Let me - let me go. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry!” He screams, desperate to survive and get out of this house.

Dave drags his knife down the man’s face, fileting the skin open and makes a long neat line down his cheek that takes a few seconds to start bleeding. He hums, coming around behind him to wrap his arm around the man’s throat and his knife slices through the material of his jumpsuit. “You want to flick my girlfriend’s nipples while you fucked her, how about I cut yours off?” He asks before he digs the tip of the knife into the fatty meat of the man’s tit to start cutting sensitive skin off. 

You gasp, unable to believe that your men are acting so violent, but you can’t deny that it makes your cunt clench around nothing as you get wet. Watching them defend you so viciously has you gasping for air. “You wanted to split her in two? Let’s see what you’re working with.” Frankie growls, unbuttoning the jumpsuit and cutting the rest of it off to expose the man’s cock and balls. “Ah Dave. Look at this. He thought our girl was gonna be in pain by this tiny prick pushing into her. She takes both of our cocks. At the same time. She wouldn’t have felt this small pathetic excuse for a dick.”

Dave snorts when he looks over at the limp dick, shaking his head. “You’re probably the same, aren’t you? Tiny dick, big mouth?” He asks, moving the knife down to poke at the man’s cock with the tip and making him jump. 

“P-p-please! I’m sorry, I- I didn’t fucking mean it!” He begs, tears sliding out of his one good eye as blood and optical fluid leaks out of his ruined eye. He’s nearly in shock from the pain but he still wants to live. “I’m fucking s-sorry.” He’s so scared that when Dave pokes his cock again with the sharp blade, he starts pissing himself. 

“Jesus Christ. How fucking pathetic. It’s almost not worth killing you.” Dave tuts, and the man begins to say thank you. “I said it’s almost not worth killing you. I’m still gonna kill you. Unless…unless you beg.” Dave points his knife at the camera. “You gonna beg too? Or do I have to cut your fucking balls off?” Frankie asks, pressing the blade to the man’s scrotum.

“J-Jesus fucking C-Christ you’re insane.” The man starts bawling, trying to squirm away from the blade. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t fucking kill me! I’m sorry!” He shouts, suddenly angry. “I’m fucking sorry, okay!” 

“Fucking hell, this one is so scared he pissed himself. What a joke. ‘Oh we are hardened criminals��” Dave mocks, “give me a fucking break. What did you do? Armed robbery? Assault an old lady. You fucking pieces of shit.” Dave growls, “you’re not begging hard enough. BEG!” Dave roars, bringing the blade up to slide off the ear of the man in his arms.

“D-don’t kill me, please!” The man howls his plea, in agony from the wounds he’s received. Head jerking to the right when the piercing scream of his friend rings out, Frankie drives his knife through the man’s testicles, puncturing the sac and making him writhe in agony with animalistic sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

You can’t tear your eyes away from the screen, watching your lovers torture the men who threatened to rape and kill you. “It’s too late for pleading and sorry.” Frankie hisses, withdrawing the knife, and he slides the blade across the man’s throat, cutting it open until he is choking on his own blood. He gurgles, spitting blood across the floor, and Frankie lets go of him, watching him as he bleeds out.

Dave hears the man in his own clutches whimper as he watches his friend bleed to death. “You brought this on yourself.” He reminds the man. “You approached us.” He chuckles. “Bet you never thought those “pussies” you were threatening were ex-military.” He hums. “And I kill people for a living.” Quick as a flash, Dave shoves the knife between the man’s ribs, burying it in his heart and delivering a brutal killing blow.

You watch as the men both lay on the ground, dead and bleeding onto the hardwood floors. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you watch Dave as he looks into the camera. "We are gonna let you out now, sweetheart." He tells you, standing up with less blood on his clothing than Frankie. 

"Fuck." Frankie growls, adrenaline coursing through him as blood drips from his hands.

Both men walk down the hall, still feeling the effects of the attack, Dave watching Frankie shake his arms and rock on his heels like he would do when he was trying to shake off the feelings. “We get her out and take her down to the basement to shower there.” He tells Frankie, knowing he might try to strip you down right there. “We’re covered in blood.”

You look up when the door opens and Dave gently reaches out to grab your trembling hand. You’ve never seen them behave like that. You grip his hand and he guides you through the house to the basement. You glance at Frankie who looks feral, almost ready to pounce on you as he follows you and Dave to the basement.

“It’s okay.” Dave murmurs, rubbing your arms and praying that you are not going to turn them away. He knows what Frankie wants, feels the desire and rage still swimming in his system and he’s the same, only more controlled. He comes home in various states of this when he finishes a job. He turns on the lights, revealing a large shower in one corner, the drain in the middle of the floor obvious for cleaning up messy situations like this. Perfect for all three of you.

Dave turns towards Frankie, reaching for his blood soaked t-shirt. “Strip. You get in there first.” Dave orders after he walks over to the shower, turning on the water. You swallow, realizing what this room is used for. “It’s okay baby.” Dave murmurs, reaching out to caress your cheek, “it’s okay, baby. Get undressed and we are gonna look after you.” He promises, starting to unbutton his shirt.

You start stripping, shirt already off but you kick off your shoes and peel down the leggings and underwear down your thighs. Frankie has already stripped down, cock hard and his breathing still shallow like he had run for miles.

Dave helps Frankie under the water, grabbing the unscented soap and handing it to Frankie. “Wash off. You can’t touch her until you’re clean.” Dave orders, stepping in behind Frankie to clean his face and hands, scrubbing his fingernails with the disposable loofa. “Give us a minute baby then you can get in here.” Dave says to you, his hard cock pressing against Frankie’s ass, and once he’s cleaned up, he reaches for you, pulling you under the spray. Frankie turns around - now clean - and roughly grabs your tits.

You hiss in pain and Dave grunts. “Not so rough, Frank.” He tells his lover. Frankie doesn’t even seem to hear him. Roughly palming them and pinching your nipples harshly as he steps towards you. Instead of kissing you, he bites down on your neck, groaning as his cock twitches against your stomach. Letting a hand fall off your tit, he slides it around to grab your ass and haul you against him as he bites along your shoulder and pushes you up against the cold shower wall. 

“Fra-n-kie.” You whine in pain, surprised at how rough he is being with you. 

Dave shakes his head, not liking how rough Frankie is and he knows he needs Frankie to calm down before he can touch you. He reaches out to pull Frankie back. “Stop. Frank. Stop. You need to calm the fuck down. You’re hurting her.” Dave growls, pulling Frankie into his arms. You pant, leaning against the tile wall, and Dave reaches down to wrap his fingers around Frankie’s cock, starting to roughly jerk him off.

“Fuck.” Frankie hisses, struggling against Dave for a moment but both men are equally matched in strength so it’s nothing more than a test of wills. His hands are on Dave’s shoulders, blunt fingernails digging into his flesh when his hips jerk forward into the other man’s grip. Jaw clenched. “Harder.” He grunts, needing the rougher touch to ground him. 

You watch as Dave twists his wrist, roughly jerking Frankie off, his own cock pressed into the man’s hip, and you want to touch them but the warning look in Dave’s eyes keeps you away. Your cunt clenches when Frankie lets out a roar, leaning down to bite into Dave’s neck.

Dave groans, jerking his lover off faster, more harshly, feeling him buck up into his hand. He needs this. He knows Frankie does. He feels the sharpness of his teeth, nearly breaking the skin. He would sport bruises for days at the very least. “Cum for me.” He orders Frankie, sinking his hand into the other man’s hair and yanks on it. 

You watch the men, cunt now dripping as you realize how capable they are. Both of them protected you, killed for you. It makes you needy. You moan, cupping your tits, and Frankie looks over at you just as he cums, spilling onto the tile wall.

Frankie groans, cursing while his cum spurts over the wall, Dave working him through it until his shoulders are rounding and he’s sighing out in relief. “Come here, baby. Please.” Frankie rasps out, needing to apologize to you for being so rough when he first touched you. He sees the bite marks and his eyes fill with apologies as he frowns at them. 

You let Frankie pull you into his arms after Dave nods, and Frankie kisses along the bite marks, murmuring 'sorry' over and over again. You caress his wet hair, promising him it's okay. Dave steps behind you, kissing along your neck, "those men were dead the moment they touched you. We were never gonna let anyone harm our girl." Dave murmurs, caressing your waist.

“You made them mad on purpose.” You realize, thinking back to when they were tying Frankie up. “To distract them.” You bite your lip, knowing you should be terrified of these men since you have witnessed first hand what they are capable of, but you aren’t. You are aching for them. Needing them to touch you and making you feel good like only they can. “I need you.” You whine, rolling your hips against Dave’s cock. “Both of you. Need you to touch me. Love you so much.” 

Dave reaches out to shut off the shower. “Not here. Bedroom.” He orders, grabbing the towels and wrapping one around you before he hands one to Frankie. “Come on baby, let’s go.” He takes your hand, guiding you back upstairs to the bedroom you have been sharing. He tugs on your towel, exposing your flesh, and he leans down to kiss along your chest.

“Dave.” You moan quietly, tangling your fingers into his hair when he wraps his lips around your nipple. “Frankie.” You plead, feeling the other man plaster himself against your back and start to kiss your neck, softly this time, while his fingers slide through your fold to rub your clit. “Oh fuck.” You whine, eyes fluttering closed as you bask in their combined attention. 

Frankie kisses along your neck gently, making up for the roughness of his earlier touch. He rubs your clit, murmuring how much he loves you along your skin, while Dave switches to your other breast. “I want you to sit on Frankie’s face while I fuck you.” Dave murmurs, squeezing your other tit.

Whining again, you nod eagerly. “Yes, fuck yes.” You beg. “I want that.” Twisting your head, you press your lips to Frankie’s jaw. “I want you to suck on my clit baby. Will you? You do it so well.” You praise him, feeling his soft cock twitch in response. 

“Anything you want, baby.” Frankie kisses you and starts pulling you towards the bed. 

Frankie lays down, dragging you up to straddle his face, and he groans when you immediately settle on top of him, your folds slick as he slides his tongue between them to find your clit. Dave shifts to kneel on the bed, straddling Frankie’s chest so he can notch his cock at your entrance. Groaning when Frankie’s tongue slides down to press against the underside of his cock before he resumes flicking your clit while Dave pushes into you.

This does feel like splitting you open, he’s thick and stretches you beyond what normal lovers would have in the past. Not to mention how overly stuffed you feel when both of them are inside you at the same time. That had taken some time to get used to. You moan and reach for the headboard, needing to hold onto it with one hand while the other cups Frankie’s head, grinding down on his mouth while Dave starts building up a rhythm behind you. 

Dave grabs your hips, grinding deep into you before he pulls out just enough to make you moan when he surges back into you. “You’re ours. No one is ever gonna touch you.” He promises, “we will kill anyone who ever fucking touches you. Without - fuck- without hesitation.” Dave promises. Frankie groans into your cunt in agreement.

You moan, knowing that the promise of violence should make you fear them, but it doesn’t. You feel safe, protected. They had proven the lengths they would go to in order to keep you safe. Your cunt clenches around Dave’s length and you push your ass back, grinding down onto Frankie’s face. “Harder.” You beg, mimicking Frankie’s words earlier. “Claim me.” 

Dave grunts, feeling how needy you are when your walls grip his cock. His hands slide up to grab your tits, pulling you close so he can rock harder into you, making you grind down harder onto Frankie’s face. “Are you gonna cum for us, baby?” He asks, nipping your earlobe.

“Yes, fuck yes!” Your blood spikes at the sharp, quick burst of pain, followed by his tongue soothing it. You reach back and cup the back of his head, turning your head to desperately press your mouth to his. Moaning into his mouth eagerly when he hits that devastating little spot inside you. “Please.” You beg, Frankie’s mouth sucking harder at your clit and throwing you over the edge. Crying out,  your cunt bears down on Dave’s cock, soaking him in your cum. 

“Yessss. That’s it.” Dave growls, rocking into you harder and faster. He groans when you bite his lower lip, and he thrusts a half dozen more times, hissing as he buries his cock deep and cums inside of your walls, painting them with his seed. “Jesus baby.” He grunts, resting his forehead on your shoulder, and Frankie groans, shifting his head so he can lick Dave’s cum from your hole as it slowly drips out with each shallow thrust Dave gives you as he rides his orgasm.

You know Frankie is hard again, his hands are still tightly gripping your hips. “You wanna fuck me, baby?” You look down at his dark eyes, the desire burning in their depth. “Hands and knees? Or do you want me to ride you?” 

Frankie pulls away from your cunt while Dave kisses your shoulder, slowly pulling out of you. “Doggy.” He orders, slapping your hip to urge you to get into position.

Dave shifts away from you, leaning against the headboard, and he watches Frankie as he grabs your hips after you shuffle onto your hands and knees. You whimper when Frankie smacks your ass, his hand coming down on your flesh before he soothes it with the palm of his hand. He knows he shouldn’t be too rough but he’s still pent up.

“Frankie.” You bite your lip, pushing your hips back and wiggling your ass at him. “Please.” He might still be rougher than normal, but you need him. “Baby, I need you inside me. Want to feel you.”

He can't deny you anything, so he shifts closer, gripping the base of his cock so he can push into you with a low groan. You are slick from your prior orgasm from Dave, and he slides into you without friction, leaning forward to rest his forehead on the nape of your neck. "Not gonna be soft." He warns, giving you a moment to prepare.

“Don’t be.” You had been a little surprised by his intensity down in the shower, but you can feel the tension in his body. “Fuck me how you need to, baby.” You murmur softly. “It’s okay.” You feel him twitch inside you and you groan at how good it feels.

Frankie tightens his grip on your hips, pulling out of you slowly before he thrusts hard and deep back into your cunt with a hiss. "Fuck." He grunts, "no one is ever gonna touch you again hermosa. Just me and Dave." Your other lover hums in agreement, watching Frankie fuck you, and Dave shifts to he can kiss you, his tongue sliding into your mouth.

Frankie’s thrusts are hard and deep, pushing your body forward as he impales you. Using brute strength to pull you back against him for another thrust. Pushing grunts and groans out of you and pushing them into Dave’s mouth while he kisses you. “You feel so good baby.” You mewl at his praise, arching your back slightly and pushing your ass into him more.

"Fuck. So fucking good baby. Our cunt. Our pussy. No - no one else's. Only me and Dave. We won't let anyone hurt you. Even fucking touch you." Frankie growls, lost in the sensation of your tight walls around his cock as he thrusts hard and deep into you.

You moan, loving how possessive he is, Dave groaning in agreement and he kisses along your jaw. “You are ours, baby. Protect you, kill for you.” He promises. “Die for you if we need to.” He slides his hand under your body and starts rubbing your clit, making you whimper, widening your legs so he can reach you better. 

“All yours, only yours.” You ramble. 

"Fuck. Need you to cum for me." Frankie groans, reaching up to squeeze your breast, and Dave endeavors to rub your clit even harder, making you squeal. 

"Cum for us." Dave orders, nipping your lower lip, and when Frankie hits something deep, you fall over the edge. A cry that is soon smothered by Dave's lips as you soak Frankie's cock, making him hiss.

Frankie’s hips stutter, groaning and digging his fingers into your hips. He thrusts, five or six more times, desperate to cum before he buries himself deep inside you with a feral growl. Filling you with hot spurts of his seed and coating your walls with it. 

You pant, loving how it feels to have him cum inside of you, mixing with Dave’s seed. “Fuck. Always such a pretty sight when you make each other cum.” Dave coos, leaning forward to kiss you once more before he shifts, kneeling so he can press his lips to Frankie’s.

You pull yourself off his cock and turn to flop down on the bed, exhausted and happy as you watch them kiss. Frankie pulls away and leans down to kiss you again. “Do you want a snack, baby?” He asks softly. “Something to drink?” 

Dave nods, he doesn’t want you to go downstairs and see the bodies again. “What do you want?” He asks. “We'll get it.” 

“Can I have some toast?” You ask, “and some water.” You request and your men nod. Dave disappears and comes back a moment later with a washcloth to clean you up, before he kisses you softly. “Be right back.” He murmurs, grabbing a pair of jeans, he dresses and makes his way downstairs to get your toast and some water. 

Frankie, meanwhile, follows him downstairs and stares at the blood staining most of the walls. “Shit. We were messy.” He clicks his tongue, and Dave hands him the plate of toast and bottle of water. 

“Take this upstairs and I’ll get started. We have a lot of cleaning up to do.” Dave grabs the bleach and rubber gloves along with the trash bags. He has had a lot of experience getting rid of bodies considering his profession.

Frankie brings the plate and glass upstairs, handing them to you with a kiss. “Thank you, baby.” You smile at him when he caresses your cheek gently, acting more like the Frankie you know and love. 

“Stay up here baby.” He murmurs softly, eyes warm and caring again. “We are going to clean everything up. So you don’t have to see it.” He kisses you again before going back downstairs to help Dave.

Dave looks up as Frankie comes back downstairs and he hasn’t started bagging up the bodies yet so  he strides over to Frankie, grabbing the back of his neck. “I love you.” He murmurs, “you protected our girl. You are incredible.” Dave says, pecking Frankie’s lips.

“I love you.” Frankie murmurs. “I was scared we couldn’t protect her.” He admits, now that it’s just the two of them. “And that pissed me off even more. I want to kill them again.” He glances over at the bodies with a scowl. “Fuckers.”

Dave chuckles, running his fingers through Frankie’s hair. “No one will ever hurt her. We will protect her. You did good, handsome. Now, let’s clean this shit up and then we can clean off again before we have our girl again. Come on, let’s clean up these fuckers and burn them.” Frankie nods, and they quickly work on cleaning up the blood, before they bag up the bodies. 

They drag them outside, into a clearing, and Frankie starts a fire. They unbag the bodies and watch them burn, unperturbed by the smell, and Frankie stands beside Dave, holding his hand. “No one hurts our girl.” Frankie declares. 

“Never.” Dave agrees, watching the flames climb higher. You’ll never have to worry. Your men will always protect you.

MasterList

[babyboibucky]

Don’t You Worry (Your Pretty Little Head)

Pairing: Guitarist!Bucky x Reader

Summary: You agree to spend twelve hours with Bucky whom you just met.

Word Count: 9.1k

Warnings: THE LENGTH lmfao, soft smut??? Nothing vulgar and it’s sorta implied

A/N: I am honestly nervous about posting this piece because idk, aside from it being fucking long, I was never satisfied with how this was written lmfao. I literally rewrote this like idk 5 times??? And the fact that I made a mood board for a oneshot lmfao only means I poured my heart out into this shit and I’m really hoping y’all would enjoy this as much as my other works 🥺

MAIN MASTERLIST

Your idea of a fun Friday night involved your couch and Netflix playing in the background as you scrolled through your phone with a glass of wine in hand. This was your definition of pure bliss, something that Wanda violently opposed to.

So here you were, seated in the front of a music bar while Wanda’s favorite band played.

“See? This isn’t so bad, right? Better than wallowing in your apartment alone.” She teased as she leaned over to you, needing to amp up the volume of her voice so you can hear her.

“The fact that we can’t even hear each other properly makes wallowing alone sound so much better.” You told her, not even bothering to repeat yourself when she didn’t understand what you said over the loud music playing.

Her favorite band introduced their last song for the night and as they did, you checked your phone for the time. It was barely past ten in the evening and you were already dying to get home. You’ll bid goodbye after this, you promised yourself. Just one last song and you’re out. Before the band could even finish their last song, you’d already decided on what pizza to order and which wine to bring out.

That was until the next band came up on stage to prepare for their performance. You were leaning over Wanda already, about to tell her that you were heading home, when one particular guy caught your eye. Something that Wanda noticed when she saw you gawking at the stage.

“Oh my god. He’s definitely your type.” Wanda said when her eyes landed on the bassist.

He had dirty blonde hair and a clean-shaven face that looked a little too innocent for someone to be in a rock band. Your exact type— one with the boy next door appeal, someone you’d want to bring home to introduce to your parents. Wanda was so sure you were crushing on the bassist but as soon as he followed your line of sight, she almost choked on her own spit.

You weren’t eyeing the bassist, instead, you were completely focused on the lead guitarist. You were so enamored by this guy that you failed to notice Wanda gushing over the fact that you were enamored by someone who was the complete opposite of your type.

It was the lead guitarist who caught your attention. The one with long hair tied into a low, messy man bun, his stray locks framing his perfectly chiseled face. It wasn’t only the hair that made you look at him, it was also his left arm— it was covered entirely with tattoos. And then he started playing the guitar and good god, his fingers were something else.

It was rare for you to have certain thoughts, the kind that would make you sweat in church. And thank fuck for Wanda finally snapping you out of your filthy trance because if she hadn’t, you would’ve seriously drowned in your not so pure thoughts.

“I can’t believe you’re attracted to that guy. This makes me so excited, honestly.” Wanda squealed.

“Huh?” You played dumb of course. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Wanda snorted out loud, “I just witnessed you drool over the guitarist for a good five minutes. Stop denying.” She said.

You rolled your eyes, “Maybe I did. And so what? It’s not like I’m gonna act on it.”

“You have to fuck him.” Wanda casually suggested, making you choke on your drink.

You weren’t a prude but you didn’t like the idea of hooking up with people, most especially strangers. You weren’t going to lie though, it did cross your mind. Obviously, the way his fingers moved on his guitar really threw your brain down the gutter. Sure, you might have wondered what it’d be like to have those fingers on you but again, would you act on it? Hell no.

“It’s just one night. Live a little, come on. And you getting attracted to someone like him? That’s once in a blue moon, all the more you need to bring him home.” Wanda said.

“One night stands don’t really work well for me and you know that. The first time I tried that was also the last time because I ended up getting attached. And how did that end? Terrible. So no, thank you. Never again.” You told Wanda.

Fortunately, Wanda stopped bugging you about fucking the guitarist. It wasn’t really a big deal, it was nothing but a moment of admiration. You were hell-bent on going home anyway, well, maybe after his band finishes their first song. Besides, he wouldn’t notice you so why bother staying?

“Oh my god, he’s looking at you!” Wanda almost screamed, slapping at your arm until you turned to the stage.

And holy fuck. He was really looking at you. Why though? You even looked behind you to make sure it was you he was staring at and when you turned back at him, he smirked and threw a wink at your way.

“You know what, I think I’m gonna head home.” You said, not knowing how to act.

Wanda pulled you back down when you stood up, “Oh no, honey. No one’s going home this early.” She said. “You wouldn’t want to disappoint him, would you?” She quickly added, tipping her head towards the stage.

When you looked up at the guitarist, he was still looking at you as he played. This time, he was actually pouting, as if pleading for you to stay. You quickly avoided his gaze and although it was dimly lit in the bar, you still bowed your head to hide the blush creeping up to your face.

You managed to survive the entire setlist of the band despite the flirty smiles and winks that the guitarist gave you. Wanda was ecstatic about it, it made you wonder if she was actually the one crushing on the guy. As soon as the last song was done, you excused yourself and hurried into the bathroom to compose yourself.

It was the first time that you experienced such attraction towards a guy like him. You always went with the good boys, so why were you so drawn to this guy who looked nothing but trouble? You were in denial, this was totally out of your comfort zone so you shook the thoughts away and promised yourself (again) that you’d head home this time. For real.

“There you are.”

You gasped out loud when you stepped out of the bathroom, quickly colliding against a solid chest when you heard his voice. It was low yet gentle, soft-spoken but sinful.

“I’m sorry?” You sputtered out, bowing down your head to avoid the lead guitarist’s gaze.

“I thought you left already.” He said. “I’m Bucky, by the way.” He introduced, extending his left arm for a handshake.

Your eyes landed on his tattooed arm, despite the ink covering it all up you could actually see his veins.

“And I’m going home.” You quickly shook Bucky’s hand, ignoring the electricity that ran through your veins and brushed past him, eyes scanning the bar for Wanda.

Bucky jogged ahead of you, blocking your way and chuckling to himself. “Don’t I at least get a name?” He asked.

You were internally screaming, but you managed to mention your name just so he would leave you alone. Sure, he was hot and he was actually flirting with you. But your fear of the unknown outweighed your attraction. You weren’t ready to step out of your comfort zone. Yet.

Bucky trailed behind you as you looked for Wanda, cursing to yourself when you couldn’t spot her anywhere. You took out your phone and called her immediately.

“Wanda? Where are you?” You hiss into the phone.

Bucky watched you with amusement and it was making you uncomfortable. He was just staring at you with a grin on his handsome face. And now, you just discovered that Wanda left you.

“What?! But why?! You’re my ride home! Come back and pick me up!” You exclaim into the phone, unable to believe that Wanda just ditched you.

“You can’t— hello? Wanda? Hello?” You groaned in frustration when your friend ended the call.

“I’d love to offer you a ride home but it’s too early, so how ‘bout I just buy you a drink?” Bucky asked, flashing you a charming smile that made your knees weak.

Part of you wanted to give in and just say, fuck it, let Bucky do whatever he wants with you. The reasonable part of your brain though, highly opposed to this and pulled on the alarms. This guy probably just wants to get you into his bed and although it doesn’t sound that bad, you worried more for what could happen afterwards. You weren’t ready for a repeat of the past. You were too emotional, you had too many strings and they get attached way too quickly.

“No, thank you.” You told Bucky and headed outside the bar, deciding to book an Uber instead.

Bucky was persevering though and followed you out, blocking your way into the sidewalk and snatching your phone away.

“Hey, give me my phone back!” You exclaimed.

“The night is young, c’mon. Why are you so aloof anyway?” Bucky asked.

“Because I don’t know you?” You responded.

Bucky chuckled, “Have you ever heard about making friends? I mean, pretty much everyone you meet starts off as a stranger. And it’s not like I’m a serial killer or anything. I’m not gonna rob you but I most certainly won’t give you your phone back until I convince you to stay a while.” He said and god, he was too charming for your own good.

He made a good point about making friends. You couldn’t even remember the last time you made a new one. Bucky could see the gears in your head working as you stared at him, cheeks flushed and lips parted in deep thought.

“So, what do you say? Stay a while? Keep me company. It’ll be fun.” Bucky insisted.

“Why me?” You blurted out.

It wasn’t that you were insecure, but you were way too different from Bucky. You didn’t seem like his type, but then again, he wasn’t your type either. Until the moment you saw him on stage.

“Why not?” Bucky responded as if he couldn’t believe you just asked him that question.

“Do you ask that every time someone flirts with you? Besides, it’s not everyday that someone like you stared at me like that.” He teased.

Fuck, so he noticed you drooling over him. Quick! Think of a way out, you told yourself.

“Someone like me? What did you mean by that?” You asked, sounding offended.

Bucky’s eyes widened and shook his head, “I didn’t mean for it to sound like it’s a bad thing. I mean, you come in here wearing a chiffon blouse and a pencil skirt and expect me not to notice? I’m actually flattered that a girl, no...a woman...was ogling me. Definitely piqued my interest.” He explained.

That was a compliment, right? The sirens in your head grew louder at the way Bucky was easily throwing you compliments. He must be used to flirting his way into women’s panties, huh? 

“I wasn’t ogling you.” You defended even though you were, looking away from his eyes.

“Sure, you weren’t.” Bucky teased. “Loosen up, will ya? When was the last time you had fun anyway?” He asked.

“Depends on your definition of fun.” You retorted.

“You know what I mean.” Bucky sighed.

“Well, my idea of fun doesn’t involve a guitarist getting me into his bed for a one night stand.” You blurted out, mindlessly.

Bucky made a face and clutched his chest, “Ouch. You went hard on that judgment, I’m not gonna lie, that kinda stings.”

Okay, now you felt bad for jumping to conclusions. Bucky did look like he was hurt from your brash statement. Fuck, he probably thought you were one of those stereotypical bitches! It wasn’t entirely your fault, right? You were just being careful. Were you? Or was it purely overthinking? Your brain was moving all too fast but Bucky quickly distracted you when he took your hand and placed your phone back onto your palm.

“You know, I think I get it why you said that and I honestly can’t blame you. A band dude flirts with you just like that, understandable why you thought that I wanted to get into your pants.” He explained much to your relief.

“I’m sorry, it was tasteless for me to judge you like that.” You quickly apologized, genuinely feeling like a terrible person.

Bucky smiled at you, “Nah, you had every right. I’m sorry if I was too forward but I do really want to spend some time to get to know you. So how about a little proposal?”

There was a glint in Bucky’s eyes that made your heart flutter and your brain go into overdrive. You knew it was a bad idea to give in to Bucky. Someone as charming as him might really be up to no good. Sure, you felt bad for judging him based on his looks. But something in your gut tells you that he was trouble.

“What proposal?” You asked curiously.

“Spend the next twelve hours with me.” Bucky suggested.

You frowned, “What?”

Bucky took your phone again, but only to check the time. “It’s a little past eleven now, I promise you’ll be home before noon tomorrow. Come with me, let loose for once and let’s spend the entire night together. Twelve hours, that’s it.” He said excitedly.

“And I don’t mean have sex with me.” Bucky explained immediately.  “We’ll just hang out, it’s a wholesome proposal. But if you do want to have sex with me, I’m not gonna turn that down. I’m just saying, it’s not my motive but I won’t be saying no to it either.” He reassured.

You felt hot all of a sudden at how Bucky casually talked about having sex with you. It made you feel feverish and for someone who wasn’t really a sexual person, it made you feel like you were about to commit a major sin just by listening to Bucky talk like that.

Bucky beamed at you cutely, waiting for your response and honestly, with how his doe eyes were looking at you like that, was it even possible to say no? Despite the continuous alarms in your head and your inner prude begging you to stay within the confines of your comfort zone, you decided to do something for a change.

So you said yes.

You were spending the next twelve hours with Bucky and you could only hope that you wouldn’t regret it.

-

The night started off slow, thankfully, with Bucky ushering you back into the bar for a couple of drinks. You had to remind yourself to still be alert for any red flags that might show up sooner or later. You knew you were being a bit paranoid, but to hell, it would be better that way than to make mistakes tonight.

“Where do you work?” Bucky asked before calling the waiter.

“I work at a bank.” You told him.

The waiter arrived and took your orders, a tall glass of mojito for you and a rum and coke for Bucky. He asked you a couple more things, where you graduated, your hobbies and what you often did during your weekends. All of which you had pretty boring responses to. Bucky listened though and he didn’t seem bored too, what a relief.

“Are you really sure about spending twelve hours just like this?” You asked, taking another sip from your second glass of mojito.

Bucky snickered, “We won’t be talking the entire night, did you really think I’d ask for your twelve hours just to talk?” He asked.

“What are you planning then?” You asked nervously.

Bucky offered you an amused smile, “Nothing illegal so stop worrying, pretty lady. I can see the gears in your head turning.” He said and leaned forward to smoothen out the crease in between your brows with his thumb.

“Come on, time to have fun.” He said and got up, offering you his hand.

You haven’t even recovered from how gentle Bucky was when he touched your forehead. And now here he was, standing over you with his tattooed arm extended, waiting for you to take his hand.

“I don’t bite.” He stated.

Letting out a sigh, you finished up your drink and stood up, slipping your hand into Bucky’s. He smiled at you, lifting your hand up to his face and pressing a kiss on it before winking.

“See? I told you, I don’t bite.”

You cleared your throat and pursed your lips, biting back a smile as Bucky tugged you as he walked out of the bar, keeping your hand in his the entire time. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all?

“Here.” Bucky said, handing you over his helmet.

It was then that you realized that he was about to give you a ride. On his motorcycle. The sirens in your head went off once again, bringing you back to your usual tensed state.

“Oh, no. Look, I know I said yes to your proposal but I’m not going to ride on that.” You disagreed and took a step back.

Bucky looked disappointed but shrugged anyway, placing the helmet back on the bike. “Fine. I’ll let you off this time, just because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Come with me.” He said and took your hand in his again as the both of you went back inside the bar.

He brought you towards the booth where the rest of his band were staying at. They all looked at you with smirks on their faces when Bucky introduced you to them.

“That’s Nat, our vocalist. Sam here is our drummer and Steve the bassist.” He said.

You gave them a polite smile and a quick wave. Bucky threw his keys over at Steve, who was supposed to be your type. Wanda thought so and you were just weirded out that you happen to be drawn towards Bucky instead.

“Hey punk, switch your car for my bike? Just for tonight.” Bucky said.

Steve looked so done with his request but shook his head in defeat as he fished his keys out of his pocket. He pointed at Bucky threateningly, “Don’t mess up my car, jerk. You know what I mean by that.” He said before throwing his own keys over at Bucky who caught it with ease.

“I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you. Thanks, pal!” Bucky bid goodbyes and pulled you again before you could even say your own goodbyes to his bandmates.

Now, you were inside Steve’s car with Bucky and you were nervous as fuck. Although you did find it considerate of Bucky to borrow his friend’s car to make things comfortable for you. You were going to admit that, but it made your heart flutter. You mentally snorted at yourself because fuck, the bar is set pretty low alright.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Bucky asked, noticing how you tensed up all of a sudden.

“Do we have rules?” You asked.

“This night is all about letting loose and the first thing you thought of are rules?” Bucky laughed.

“I’m about to spend the next twelve hours with a complete stranger, of course I’d be worried! What if—“

“Okay, calm down!” Bucky said, turning in his seat to face you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

“If it’ll make you less tense then fine, I’ll come up with rules. Number one is to stop worrying.” Bucky said, rubbing your arms up and down and you were supposed to feel uncomfortable with the intimacy but you didn’t.

There was no malice to it and it made you panic all the more because ugh, Bucky was making you all soft and vulnerable around him. You could hear Wanda inside your head, commanding you to just calm down and go with the flow. You took in a deep breath and composed yourself.

“You gotta learn to trust people. I promise you, we won’t be getting in any trouble. I’ll take good care of you.” Bucky said, letting your arms go and tipping your chin so you’d look at him.

“Rule two, no what ifs. Just focus on the present, okay? If you keep worrying about what could happen, you’ll miss out on the now. Trust me, you wouldn’t want that.” Something about the change in Bucky’s eyes when he said that made you curious.

He was on to something, like he really meant it. You wanted to ask him about it, hell, you should start asking him for more information. If he wanted to get to know you better then you should attempt to do the same to him too.

“Last rule is to just enjoy. Like I said, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. You trust me now?” Bucky asked with hopeful eyes.

The alarms in your head still kept going, but as you gazed back at Bucky, the softer they were becoming. You could feel yourself start to give in and you know what? It actually doesn’t sound so bad anymore. Maybe this would help with your attachment issues? This will probably teach you how to have fun with no attachments. Take things for what they are and just enjoy.

“Hey, will you trust me?” Bucky asked again.

“Yeah, yeah I will.”

-

1:15AM

Bucky took you to a hole in the wall open mic bar. It was a small place and everyone there seemed to know each other. And when Bucky arrived, everyone just greeted him and welcomed you there.

“You seem pretty popular here.” You told him as he led you to one of the seats near the makeshift stage.

“I spend a lot of time here.” He said and called over the guy by the bar.

“Hey Happy! Wanna introduce you to a special friend.” He said. The man approached your table and greeted you with a smile.

“Must be really special, you never bring anyone here.” Happy said, making you blush uncontrollably.

Bucky bit his lip as he turned to you, “Do you sing?” He asked.

You quickly shook your head, “Oh god, no. I don’t have the talent.” You said.

Happy chuckled, “That wouldn’t be a problem, trust me.” He reassured.

Bucky lifted an eyebrow at you, “Wanna go up there and sing with me?”

“Bucky, no.” You laughed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing that.”

“Come on, no one’s gonna judge you. Let loose, remember? And if anyone here laughs at you, I’ll be the first to punch them in the face.” He promised.

You thought for a while, keeping your eyes on Bucky. Fuck this. You called Happy and requested for a shot of tequila.

“That’s my girl! Just needs a little bit of liquid courage, huh?”

You snorted, “Oh that’s not for me. That’s for you. You’re gonna need it if you’ll be hearing me sing.”

You never performed in front of a crowd, well, back in high school maybe for some school plays. But hell, you were never the center of attention and whenever you had to be, you always experienced a panic attack. But now being on stage with Bucky behind you, playing the guitar as you sang (screeched actually), you’d never felt more alive and relaxed. True enough, no one cared about how off tune you were. In fact, you got a lot of cheers from the crowd.

2:45AM

“You hungry?” Bucky asked.

You couldn’t believe it, you’ve been singing on stage the entire time at the bar. You’d like to believe that it was probably the alcohol running in your veins, but you weren’t that drunk. Tipsy, maybe but definitely not drunk. It was fun, you were surprised at how much you enjoyed singing with Bucky and everybody else. You made a couple of new friends aside from Happy, talked to them and even exchanged numbers with a few. This was the most sociable you’ve ever been.

“I could use some carbs right now.” You laughed, wiping off the sweat on your forehead.

Bucky reached out to fix your hair, moving away the sweaty strands sticking onto your cheeks and tucking them behind your ear. He flashed you that oh so charming smile again and good god, Bucky was truly something else.

“Let’s get you something to eat.” He said.

Bucky drove to a 24-hour food truck somewhere. It was close to 3am but you didn’t feel exhausted, which was shocking given that you’ve been dying to go home a few hours ago before meeting Bucky and agreeing to go on an escapade with him. You could already hear Wanda squealing over the phone once you tell her everything.

The both of you ordered some soft tacos and sat on one of the benches beside the food truck.

“Enjoying so far?” Bucky asked with interest.

You nodded enthusiastically, your mouth full of food as you devoured your tacos. “Very much.” You admitted.

Bucky’s eyes crinkled as he laughed along with you, obviously pleased that you were enjoying yourself. Not long ago, twelve hours seemed a bit too long. Now, they felt too short. You could feel your brain begin to overthink what would happen once the the twelve hours are over, but you quickly shook them away and followed Bucky’s advice to focus on the present.

The two of you continued to talk as you ate. You discovered that Bucky and his bandmates go way back and that they’ve been performing since their days at the university. You also found out that Bucky’s last relationship ended six years ago and that he hasn’t dated anyone since then. You found out a lot of things about Bucky, most of which were far from your first impressions.

“Why’d your friend leave you at the bar?” Bucky asked, taking out a cigarette and putting it in his mouth.

You watched him with hazy eyes as he lighted the cigarette, puffing out a thin line of smoke with ease. You were always drawn to Bucky’s fingers and initially, it was because of the impure thoughts they made you think about. But more than that, they were the gentlest you’d ever seen.

“Probably to get me to have fun.” You responded, looking away timidly when Bucky noticed you staring at his hands.

“She’s gonna be very proud of you after this.” He said.

You nodded and breathed out a chuckle, “Oh, for sure.” You said before turning to Bucky. “Can I try?” You asked, motioning towards his cigarette.

“I haven’t smoked. Ever.” You admitted.

Bucky grinned and passed you the cigarette. “Go on.” He urged and kept his eyes on you as you brought the cigarette up to your lips.

The way Bucky watched you was intimidating in the sense that it felt intimate. It wasn’t like he was eye-fucking you or anything, his eyes were just too...expressive? They held a certain softness to them, a bit of sadness too when you look at it closely. They were the bluest, most beautiful color you’ve seen and they were captivating.

You ended up in a coughing fit from that first drag. Bucky chuckled and took the cigarette from your hand, patting your back as you continued to cough.

“Definitely not for me.” You frowned and took a sip from your iced tea.

“At least you tried. I’m proud of you.” Bucky said, the gentle pats on your back slowing down until his hand remained still.

“You good?” He asked again, sliding his hand lower until he reached the small of your back, but not low enough to make you uncomfortable.

You nodded, “What else is up in your sleeve?” You asked with interest.

“Well, I really wanted to take you on a ride on my bike but I guess that’s for next time.” Bucky confessed.

“Next time?” You asked and you tried not to be hopeful.

“Yeah, next time. We’ll do that next time.” Bucky said and he sounded so sure that you began to worry.

Will there really be a next time? At this point, Bucky could read you like an open book because he chuckled and pressed his thumb against the crease on your forehead again.

“You’re doing it again, whatever you’re worrying about just forget it for now.” He said, soothing out your crease before pinching your nose.

You scrunched your nose making Bucky lightly laugh. He checked the time on his phone and let out a sigh.

3:43AM

“Can I bring you back to my place?”

-

If you told Wanda that you ended up in Bucky’s place, she would freak out and ask for all the details. But no, you didn’t come home with Bucky for that reason. As he promised, it wasn’t his motive to get you into his bed and he seemed to be genuine about it.

Bucky lived in a small studio-type loft. It wasn’t the penthouse kind with the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. It was simple and minimalistic, with just a few pieces of furniture. What Bucky owned were a couple of guitars— different kinds of them, and an electric keyboard.

“It’s not much and I don’t even have a bed frame, I hope you won’t judge me for that.” Bucky said, scratching his neck as he led you inside.

“No, not at all. It’s very cozy in here, actually.” You said, looking around and taking in your surroundings.

Bucky had a lot of indoor plants, you definitely didn’t think of him as a plant guy. As you let your eyes wander, something white zoomed past your vision. A cat.

Bucky also owned a cat.

“This is Alpine.” Bucky said, picking up the feline and carrying it onto his shoulder.

As if Bucky and his plants didn’t make him attractive enough, he really had to own a white cat. You could feel yourself internally screaming about how you haven’t been seeing any red flags. If any, you’ve been seeing green flags pop out every now and then that it was pretty alarming. Strangely, the sirens in your head died down as if they’ve given up on warning you.

Or maybe, there was really nothing to warn about Bucky.

The cat purred and nuzzled its nose into Bucky’s neck and you couldn’t believe that you got jealous for a brief second. Oh, to be cat against Bucky’s chest.

“Feel free to look around, I’ll get you water.” He said, bringing Alpine with him into the kitchen.

You walked around his place and observed the surroundings. He was very organized, more than you actually. You could hear Bucky talk to Alpine and it was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen.

A couple of picture frames that sat on Bucky’s bedside table caught your eye. They were photos of him with his mom you assumed, and three more girls.

“Those are my mom and younger sisters.” Bucky said, appearing behind you with a glass of water.

You thanked him as you took the glass and sat down on his bed, “Where are they?” You asked before drinking.

Alpine jumped into your lap and purred, making Bucky laugh with delight as he sat next to you. His parents were back in his hometown together with his sisters. Bucky told you everything about his family and how close he was to his sisters, how they were supportive of him when he decided to become a musician. Then Bucky went on to showcase his guitar collection, telling you the lovely stories behind each of them. You could see how passionate Bucky was for his craft and it was a wonderful thing to witness. You were envious how Bucky pursued his passion, how he took huge risks to get to where he was now.

“And this is my favorite one.” Bucky said, taking a black electric guitar with him as he went back to sit down next to you.

“First one I bought with my own money. It’s old and doesn’t sound as nice as my newer ones, but I love it.” He said and started plucking at the strings.

Alpine hopped off from your lap and went to sleep onto his tiny little bed beside Bucky’s couch. You focused on Bucky’s fingers as he played the guitar. It took you back to the moment you saw him onstage, how those fingers made you wonder about certain things. They moved gracefully against the cords, plucking with ease producing the most wonderful music. You really needed to snap out of your filthy thoughts.

Bucky played the guitar for you, singing some lyrics once in a while. You noticed his tattoos again and stared a bit longer, trying to decipher each design wrapped around his arm. Some were huge, some intricate more than the rest. They were all of different designs but molded together so perfectly.

You had to admit, you didn’t find tattoos attractive before. But on Bucky, it looked like a masterpiece. He himself, was a piece of art with his chiseled jawline and steel blue eyes that made you feel at home.

“I’ve been meaning to ask...” you softly trailed.

Bucky hummed in response, his attention focused on his guitar as he continued to play.

“Your tattoos, do they mean something?” You asked.

“I got them to cover up the scars from an accident.” Bucky looked up at you.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” You quickly apologized.

Bucky smiled reassuringly, “It’s fine. It was a turning point for me.” He said, setting his guitar aside.

“It really puts things into perspective you know. I crashed my bike one night, I wasn’t drunk, mind you.” He chuckled. “It was pretty bad, my left arm suffered the most. I almost got decapitated but here I am. I got scars all over, really ugly scars so I had them covered up with a tattoo sleeve.” Bucky explained, extending his left arm and looking at it.

“For a while, I wasn’t able to play music. And I hated every second of it. Hated seeing the scars on my arm and how they reminded me of the accident. But you learn to live with it. At least I did, I learned to turn the negative into something positive.”

Now that he said that, you could actually see some of the scars beneath the ink. Bucky shrugged and continued with his story.

“The doctors said I was lucky that I didn’t die. Living my second life now, I realized that I gotta make the most out of it. Focus on the present and enjoy what comes your way. Take risks. Do what scares you.” He explained and now you understood.

You understood why Bucky appeared to be so laid-back and carefree, why he doesn’t worry a lot about the future. He almost lost his life so now he was living it to the fullest. He was living in the present, enjoying every second of it.

“Every time I see my tattoos, I get reminded of my second chance at life and how I shouldn’t waste it.” He said.

Bucky saw the look in your face, how guilty you looked from judging him right away. He took your chin in between his thumb and index finger, tipping it up to make you look at him.

“So when I noticed that bored pretty office girl in the audience checking me out, I didn’t waste the opportunity to get to know her. See where it goes, who knows if I’d still be alive tomorrow but at least I shoot my shot.” He said, making you chuckle.

Everything went still in that moment, your usually noisy mind included. Time seemed to have stopped as you gazed into Bucky’s eyes. Biting your lip, you gave in and totally let down your walls.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Bucky asked, doing the same thing with his thumb, soothing the crease in between your brows.

This time, he didn’t take his hand back and allowed it to rest against your cheek before sliding down to your jaw and neck. His thumb began to caress the spot beneath your ear, waiting for you to respond to his question.

What Bucky got was more than just a simple response.

“Fuck it.” You whispered before pressing your lips onto Bucky’s.

All your life you played it safe— from your college course to your choice of career. You weren’t one to take risks either and whenever you needed to, they were always calculated. You did things carefully, making sure that you’d get the results you were expecting to save you from disappointment. The unknown scared you and so does uncertainty. You liked staying in your comfort zone but as much as you’ve been denying it, it was starting to get boring.

You also said you weren’t one to entertain a stranger, let alone hook-up with one. But then Bucky comes along with his long hair and tattooed arm, looking like trouble but bringing you none. You’d think that he just wanted to get into your pants but as he showered you with gentle kisses and feathery touches, you realized that Bucky might be different and that he was so much more than just the hot lead guitarist of a band.

Bucky’s calloused fingers perfectly contrasted the smooth expanse of your skin. They felt rough but remained gentle as they moved along your chest, as they danced along your back, as they stroked your inner walls. And his lips, they were tender and soft; they whispered nothing but promises and praises against your ear as your bodies moved in unison.

His eyes remained on you, taking all of your nakedness in, literally and figuratively. He watched you closely, with those blue eyes of his that always made you blush. Bucky’s eyes were truly mesmerizing, no matter how much you wanted to look away from embarrassment, you couldn’t. You felt trapped in those eyes, and you never want to leave.

And his left arm— you could feel the ridges of his scars as you let your hands feel his skin. But they weren’t ugly, didn’t feel weird against the pads of your fingers. His arm offered nothing but warmth and support when you reached your high and came crashing down. His arms caught you and protected you, his embrace was reassuring and it made you feel safe.

5:58AM

The city was quiet and the sun was barely up. Alpine was still curled up on his bed, sleeping. You were exhausted but satisfied and comfortable as you laid on your stomach, head turned and facing Bucky as you listened to him talk.

He was talking about his band’s first performance in college, laughing when he said that he almost threw up from being so nervous. Bucky had the softest voice in the wee hours of dawn, you loved listening to him. Lucky you, Bucky had been talking about anything and everything until the dark skies began to change its hues. He shared his dreams and his secrets and you admired him more and more.

“You should come to our rehearsals.” He suggested, letting a hand trace patterns on your bare back.

“Sounds nice.” You yawned, blinking your eyes in an attempt to keep them open.

“What do you want for brunch?” Bucky asked, almost mumbling from being half-asleep.

You hummed, “By the time we wake up, it might be close to dinner.” You joked.

“Breakfast food is way better during dinner. Want me to cook for you?” Bucky said before yawning.

Your eyes were lidded as you took in Bucky’s form. He was laying beside you, long hair messed up and lips swollen pink from kissing. He looked unreal as a sliver of sunlight managed to peek through his curtains, embracing his body with its warm glow. The sun was now fully up, witnessing the tender aftermath of your intimacy with Bucky as he reached out to brush his knuckle along your cheekbone.

“I’m surprised you can cook.” You said softly, close to falling asleep.

“I’m pretty good at it.” Bucky chuckled before leaning in to kiss your forehead.

“I’ll cook for you when we wake up.” 

Bucky’s soft lips against yours was the last thing you felt before sleep took over.

-

12:24PM

A soft purr paired with soft paws on his face stirred Bucky awake. He groaned at Alpine when she meowed right into his face. Must be feeding time, he thought.

Bucky gently moved Alpine aside and turned, only to be met by a cold, empty space beside him. He sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes before quickly scanning his apartment for you.

You were gone.

And judging by the cold sheets on your side of the bed, you’d left hours ago. Bucky sighed in disappointment as he got up, putting on his boxers and quickly checking the bathroom. He hoped you’d be there, but you weren’t.

You didn’t even leave a note.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He wanted to cook for you, really. He wanted to bring you to his band’s rehearsals, maybe even write a song for you.

He wanted more than twelve hours with you.

-

Wanda had been on your ass for days now. When you told her about your twelve hours with Bucky, she was happy and proud. By the time you got to the end of it, she was fuming and was close to actually physically hurting you.

She wouldn’t stop bugging you about it, demanding you to at least look Bucky up on Facebook or Instagram. Wanda believed that what you and Bucky shared that night was special, something real and not just a one-time thing.

You woke up that morning, feeling sore but happy. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach when you opened your eyes to the sight of Bucky sleeping peacefully beside you. He seemed to be dreaming, his brows creased and lips pursed.

Reaching out, you did what Bucky kept on doing to you whenever you were worrying. You pressed your thumb against his forehead, soothing out the crease as gentle as you could so as not to wake him up. Bucky stirred in his sleep and unconsciously took your hand in his, pressing a kiss onto your palm before falling back into his slumber.

And that’s when it started; the alarms in your head went off and they were the loudest they’ve ever been. You were almost deafened by it, your logic drowning beneath your panicked thoughts as you got up from bed. You dressed up in a hurry, grabbing your things and phone to book yourself a ride home. Alpine woke up and ran over to your legs, purring as if begging you not to go.

You refused to look back and went straight for the door.

One and a half week later, here you were still feeling like the most terrible person on the entire planet. You had searched for Bucky online, of course. You just didn’t tell Wanda that but it was the first thing that you did upon going home. There were instances when you were tempted to send him a DM, or add him up on Facebook but you never did. 

That one night with Bucky changed everything, it changed you. You immediately filed for a resignation, realizing that you were no longer happy working for the bank. It was a spur of the moment decision but you knew it was the right one. You didn’t even know where to apply next or what career to pursue. But you weren’t worried like you had expected to be.

Bucky taught you to take risks, to not fear the unknown because things will eventually fall into place. You felt good though, that you were slowly learning to step out of your comfort zone. But something was amiss and you knew what it was. Or who it was.

You just weren’t ready to admit it yet.

-

It was around nine in the evening when you went to the grocery store for a last minute shopping decision. Wanda was coming over for a movie night and apparently, you didn’t have any snacks left.

Finishing your list, you turned at the corner of an aisle and collided with somebody. Your apology died on your tongue when you looked up to see a familiar face.

Steve.

“Hi.” You softly greeted, wondering if he would even remember you.

He frowned at you and you were surprised that he remembered you and actually knew about that night.

“Why’d you leave Bucky just like that?” He asked right away.

You swallowed and avoided his gaze, “It was...it’s not a big deal. It was a one-time thing anyway.” You lied through your teeth.

Steve scoffed, “It didn’t seem like a one-time thing when Bucky came to our rehearsals the next day feeling bummed out.” He explained and sighed afterwards, shaking his head.

“Look, I’m in no position to interfere. I don’t know you and why you did that so who am I to judge? But I know Bucky. He isn’t what you think he is.” Steve said.

“I know.” You whispered.

“Then why’d you leave?” Steve asked again but didn’t wait for a response.

“Bucky may come off a little too strong, he’s straightforward and passionate. He gives it his all and that night with you...he gave everything. He was really hurt when you left.”

You were unable to speak because fuck, you messed up big time. You didn’t know that Bucky was going to feel that way when you left. You got scared and ran away even when there was nothing to be afraid of. Steve must have noticed your guilt and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“We’re playing tonight at the music bar. You have the chance to make things right.” Steve said and offered you a small smile before leaving.

You stood in the grocery store while in deep thoughts. Again, your mind was all kinds of messed up and your thoughts were fighting for dominance. There were sirens going on and off and fuck, it was all driving you insane. Your heart began to race when you felt an impending sense of doom wash over you. You were panicking and you were fighting so hard to calm your nerves.

And then you remembered Bucky that night and how he was quick to silence your brain with a simple yet comforting gesture.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

A thumb on your forehead to soothe your worries. Those steel blue eyes providing you comfort, and that charming smile that never failed to reassure you.

You quickly called Wanda.

“Movie night is cancelled!”

-

The dimly lit music bar welcomed you with a sense of familiarity. It had been more than a week since your encounter with Bucky and yet it felt like it was only yesterday.

Smiling to yourself, you remembered how tensed you were when Bucky first approached you. You were so defensive, you had your walls built up high but Bucky managed to bring them down. It didn’t even take him the full twelve hours to do so.

The music bar was full with no vacant spot near the stage. The current band just finished their song and was preparing to exit. You squeezed your way to the front, ignoring the complaints of people you slightly pushed away. A familiar voice greeted the crowd a good evening before introducing their band.

Your breath hitched when you spotted Bucky onstage. His hair was down and he was sporting a little bit of scruff. You watched him play his guitar but something was different. He wasn’t as passionate as he used to be, like he wasn’t focused. He almost looked like he didn’t want to be there. And his eyes, they were empty and void of any emotion. No mischievous glint in them, no nothing.

It broke your heart seeing Bucky like this, especially that you knew you were the reason for it.

It took a while for Bucky to look up and scan the crowd and when he finally did, his eyes immediately met yours.

Just like the first time, you felt your face heat up from the eye contact. Bucky was surprised to see you, you saw how his eyes widened at the sight of you. He was quick to recover though, he looked away and focused on playing the guitar instead.

As soon as his band exited the stage, you wasted no time to approach them. Steve greeted you with a nod before calling for Nat and Sam, asking for them accompany him to the bar to give you some privacy. Bucky refused to look at you as he gathered his stuff, preparing to leave.

“Can we talk?” You asked.

“I’m heading home.” Bucky curtly responded and brushed past you.

The tables have turned with you walking ahead of him to block his way.

“The night is young, stay a while and keep me company?” You used his line and Bucky was having none of it.

He scoffed and shook his head, “I’m surprised you remembered what I said. I mean, after you just disappeared I assumed you’d completely forgotten about that night.”

“I didn’t.” You told him. “Can we please talk?” You pleaded.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know, I really wanna go home.” He said.

Your hands balled into fists at your sides, “Give me twelve minutes.” You offered.

“Just twelve minutes of your time. Please, Bucky.”

-

The two of you stepped outside the bar for some silence. Bucky walked over to his bike, leaning against it as he looked at you coldly. Those eyes used to gaze at you with warmth, but now they were blank and cold.

“Time is ticking.” He said when you kept mum.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disappear like that.” You said, looking down at your feet.

How else were you going to say your piece? You had practiced your speech on the way to the bar and now that Bucky was in front of you, you couldn’t even look at him from shame.

Bucky scoffed, “You asked me for twelve minutes and that’s all you’re gonna say? You’re sorry? Just that?” He bitterly chuckled, running a hand over his scruff.

“If you didn’t mean it then why did you leave? You left me without any warning. I honestly thought there was something between us. After everything that happened, how could you just walk away like that? You led me on, didn’t you?” Bucky angrily asked.

“I didn’t! I swear, I didn’t but I got scared!” You admitted.

“Scared of what?” He asked. “Scared of me? Because I’m not the kind of guy you usually go for? You really couldn’t get rid of that first impression, huh?” He said and turned around.

“That’s not the reason why. Everything scared me because that night was something else. You were too good to be true, Bucky! That’s what scared me!” You told him.

Bucky turned around, his brows creased, “What?”

When you woke up that morning, everything seemed perfect. The past twelve hours you had spent with Bucky were wonderful and you loved every second of it. You enjoyed too much and the thought of it being a one-time thing really broke your heart.

You had attachment issues and you thought that giving in to Bucky would help you learn to enjoy things as they were. But it didn’t and made it even worse because you got attached, so fucking attached.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of ending those twelve hours with a permanent goodbye so I left. You suddenly talked about next time and tomorrow and it was...it was overwhelming for me. My fear got the best of me because that night was too good. You were too good.”

Bucky’s expression softened after hearing your side. Now you felt stupid for overthinking things. It was selfish on your part to assume that those twelve hours meant nothing to Bucky.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized softly. “That night meant everything to me, Bucky. I just wasn’t ready to find out whether it meant the same to you.” You confessed with a sigh.

Bucky stayed quiet after your confession. You could feel your bile rising, you wanted to throw up. Hell, you wanted to just faint and forget about everything. If Bucky wouldn’t give you a second chance, you’d understand him. You did a pretty shitty thing to him anyway.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

You lifted your gaze upon hearing that line. Bucky’s eyes had their warmth back and his expression was no longer stoic. He pushed himself away from his bike and approached you, reaching out to soothe the crease on your forehead.

“It’s not everyday that I find myself in the company of a stranger who made me feel things. I’ve always been a traditional one, I take things slow and I’ve been very careful. When I felt something during those twelve hours, I was caught off guard. I never felt so strongly for someone I just met and it was all new to me and I panicked.” You confessed.

“You were out of my comfort zone and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t mean to disappear like that, Bucky.”

You were met with pure silence after your admission. When you looked up at Bucky, you couldn’t read his expression. Thinking that he wasn’t buying your explanation, you let out a bitter chuckle and shrugged.

“I guess that’s it. Twelve minutes. No more no less. I just wanted you to know that, Bucky. And I’m really, really sorry.” You said and slowly backed away, ready to leave.

“Hey.” Bucky called out, approaching you.

“If I asked you to spend the next twelve hours with me again, where would you go after?” He asked.

Was this a test? You didn’t know how to respond and Bucky seemed to have caught up on that and let out a breathy chuckle.

“Will you stay until the morning this time?” He asked. “‘Cause I was pretty disappointed when I woke up to an empty bed. I had our brunch planned out, you know?”

The mischievous glint in Bucky’s eyes was back. You bit back a smile when Bucky cradled your head into his palm, thumb circling the skin on your neck.

You timidly nodded, tilting your head up to meet Bucky’s lips in a searing kiss that promised you another twelve hours together. And more.

“No more running off in the morning.”

-

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[randomwriteronline]

Emmet heard a voice.

Emmet heard a voice shouting.

Emmet heard his brother's voice.

Emmet heard his brother's voice shouting.

Emmet heard his brother's voice shouting his name.

Emmet forced his eyes to screw open as somewhere farther away his brother shouted his name as loud as he could. Something was pressing heavy on his chest. He could barely move. At least, though, his breathing seemed fine.

"I am Emmet," he said softly, coughing a little. His hand waved uselessly. "I am here."

Where was he? He could not bring anything into focus. He seemed to be laying. He pushed at the ground - if ground or something like that it even was - to raise himself enough to sit up. His body felt strange. He could not place why. He pulled himself to his feet: his chest felt compressed. Where was he? Everything looked incomprehensible. His brother's voice still shouted for him.

"I am Emmet," he repeated, still so very weakly, "I am here. Ingo, I am here."

His legs were heavy. Steps sent ants up to his knees: he felt them in his hip joints. His arms were heavy.

Somebody was in the distance. They looked antsy. They looked scared. They had their hands cupped around their mouth. They were shouting.

He was shouting his name.

"Ingo," Emmet called, just a little louder.

The man turned to him. His eyes were wet.

"Emmet!"

The man was his brother.

The man did not look like his brother.

His brother had short hair. He was clean shaven. He wore a shirt; a tie; slack pants; shoes; a coat; a band on one arm; a hat. That was their uniform. His brother was pale. They were the same age.

The man had tanned skin. He had a strange uniform: it looked like a kimono of sorts. He had some kind of beard. He had long hair. He was older.

The man had Ingo's grip on his shoulders. Ingo's clear eyes. Ingo's frown.

"Where have you been?"

Ingo's voice.

"I have been looking everywhere for you!"

Emmet tilted his head, furrowed his brow: "What happened to you?"

Ingo had looked nothing like that thirty minutes earlier.

Ingo did not answer. He wrapped his brother in a tight hug instead. He was acting as if they had not seen each other in ages.

"I have been looking for you," Emmet heard him repeat, "I have been looking for so long - where have you been? I was terrified! You were not there! You weren't anywhere! I searched everywhere for you! I thought you had proceeded without me! I have been running along these tracks to find you for..."

Emmet listened as Ingo's voice died. Like an epiphany had hushed him. He pulled away from the hug: his brother looked haunted. Heartbroken. He could not understand why.

"I have been gone for thirty minutes," he reassured his twin. "I must check on an anomaly. The lights along one side of the Double Line do not work."

Ingo did not reply. Emmet watched his throat constrict. It was so very strange.

He leaned further towards his brother’s face: “What happened to you?” he asked again. He could not explain his current looks.

Ingo did not reply. He muttered something about time, about how he was stupid. About how obviously, if he was sent so far back, obviously, on the line of time, he would be the first. Obviously, his searches would have resulted in nothing until the moment struck again. Emmet felt his hands spasm for no reason. This seemed like a fever dream.

“We need to assess the problem,” he said: “We need to secure the tunnel.”

“A Woobat has gotten trapped underground and instigated a fight with a few Drillburs.” Ingo explained softly. He sounded devoid of energy. He held onto Emmet’s shoulders. “They chased it through the ceiling and severed the connection of all the lights. The ceiling has been greatly damaged and is at risk of collapsing in certain areas.”

Ingo must have checked before him. But he was in the office. It made no sense. No matter. The problem was found.

“We must locate the vulnerable area. We must secure it.”

“I’m afraid it’s too late for that.”

Ingo sounded on the verge of tears when he said that.

Was this really his brother? He looked nothing like him. Emmet searched for his eyes: they were humid. This felt like a fever dream.

“Ingo,” he asked, “What happened to you?”

He watched his brother swallow down a knot in his throat.

“I think I’ve been dead for a few hundred years.”

Ah.

Ah ah.

“This is a verrry bad joke.”

“It’s not.”

Emmet could not understand. He could not understand. What was happening? They needed to secure the area. His chest felt compressed. His legs were full of ants. Where were they? This was not the Subway. He could not pull anything besides Ingo into focus. This seemed like a fever dream. A fever dream. The lights had been off. He had checked. He looked for the root of the problem. What had that noise been? His arms were heavy. His movements felt strange. Too fluid. Too stiff. No air. No air? He tried to breathe. He did not feel the air move into his nose. The noise had been a crack. He did not notice his smile had faltered. He did not notice he was looking at Ingo’s shoulder. He felt his brother push his nose against it, embracing him a little tighter. He embraced him back. The noise had been a crack.

“Ingo,” he said, eyes wide, “You never lie to me.”

He felt him not against his hair: “I never do.”

He tightened his fists. The unfamiliar fabric of Ingo’s uniform was caught in them.

“I think I am having a panic attack.”

Ingo lowered both of them to sit. He held Emmet.

“It’s very scary,” he murmured in his little twin’s ear. His hand rubbed circles around his back. “It’s horribly scary. But I am here. I will help. I will take care of you. I will make sure that you are alright, that you are fine. Then we can go. Whenever you want, whenever you are ready, we can go. But I will not go without you. We will go together. And until then I will stay here with you, to help you. I will take care of you.”

“And you will stay with me after?”

“I will.”

Emmet held his brother.

“I am scared.” he said.

“I am very scared too. But I am here with you.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“It’s alright. I will wait here with you. We will go when you want.”

He held onto his big brother. He curled into his chest. Ingo held him.

“You never lie to me.”

“I never do.”

“I want to hear a story.” Like when they were little and he was scared.

“I will tell you all the stories you want.”

“Will you tell me what happened to you?”

Ingo rocked Emmet in his hug.

“Would you believe me if I told you God or something similar dragged me back in time, to a completely different land?”

“You never lie to me.”

“I never do.”

“Then I would believe it.”

“That is what happened.”

“And was it good? The place you were in?”

“I lived in it well. But I missed you more than anything.”

“Can you tell me what you did there?”

It would have been a long story. Emmet always needed long stories when he was too scared to sleep. Emmet always liked long stories. They calmed him. They had all the time in the world.

Ingo combed Emmet’s hair through his fingers, and started talking.

(Ingo spent a week catatonic as Elesa screamed and cried at him. She did not blame him. It just hurt to see him as dead as his brother. Their uncle was at the funeral. He cried a lot. Ingo told both of them he was certain he would have died within the next month. He agreed to be hospitalized. It did very little.)

(Elesa spent the rest of her life visiting the Opelucid City cemetery twice a year, each visit one month apart. At some point, eventually, she stopped crying.)

[sunlightandsuffering]

What is this!?! I couldn't tell you!!

It feels like every 400 years they have the same discussion. 

The same spiel over and over, ‘Mikasa it’s impossible for us to be together’, ‘Mikasa, the others wouldn’t like it’, ‘Mikasa, it’s just not cool’, spiel-shmiel, she’s done with it. 

And this time, instead of waiting patiently at their preferred table in the same old dilapidated bar in the middle of some god forsaken city she can never remember the name of, she turns away. 

Eren has the gall to look shocked about it, of course she’s not looking though, no, she won’t give him the satisfaction. Instead, she chooses to glimpse him in the tiny reflection of the silver napkin holder in front of her. 

Hah! Take that! 

Asshole.

However, what pisses her off even more is Eren’s own stubbornness. Instead of sulking over towards her and begging for her forgiveness, finally giving in to what they both so obviously want, her dearly beloved takes a seat in the corner of the bar and glares at her. 

No wonder they’ve made it thousands of years without hooking up, without her patience there is only Eren’s stubbornness, and of course, nothing will ever come of that. 

It’s not that they can’t date, it’s not strictly forbidden among vampires, it’s just well, it’s frowned upon, especially when there’s only seven of them in existence. 

Seven precisely, and unable to create any new ones. Seven is an odd number and it doesn’t split evenly, so coupling off had become out of the question. 

It was sort of an unspoken rule now, don’t fall in love with one of the others.  You can date humans all you want, marry them even, fall in love, all that jazz, but another vampire, highly frowned upon. 

It’s unfortunate because eternity starts to seem pretty daunting when you’re facing it all alone. 

But it’s also precisely the reason the rule was created in the first place, because who wants to be the odd vampire out for the rest of eternity. 

So, Mikasa and Eren didn’t date. 

Despite their obvious chemistry, and the fact that they’d almost been married before being turned into vampires in the first place, they didn’t date. 

No, instead, it’s been about 5000 years since she fell in love with him, and now all she gets are angsty looks at their yearly meetups and every so often Armin will update her on his love-life which is apparently also nonexistent. 

She hates it.  And today, she’s finally done, finally drawing her line in the sand, she’ll go toe to toe with the others if she has to, she’s tired of being lonely. 

She motions the bartender for another drink, might as well drown her sorrows while she has the chance. 

Just as he drink arrives Eren finally approaches her, his looming presence appearing at the bar top next to her.  “Miks,” he greets casually as if it’s only been a few days since they’ve last seen each other and not an entire fucking year. 

She doesn’t bother glancing up, choosing instead to take a sip of her drink. She can’t bare to observe the chiselled angles of his face, not right now. 

When she doesn’t respond, he sighs deeply, the long aggravated one she’s more used to hearing in response to one of Armin’s tirades. 

She still refuses to look up.  “Mikasa,” he groans. 

She takes another petulant sip, swallowing back her vodka cran numbly, next time she’s getting a double, maybe it’ll make her feel something.  “Miks please don’t be like this,” he begs and finally she turns, silver eyes shining bright with rage.  She’s still silent as she finally looks upon him, his face handsome as ever, clean shaven, elegant dark eyebrows and those beautiful green eyes that never fail to look into her soul. 

But not today.  She purses her lips before furiously turning to her delicate manicured hands and ruthlessly twisting at the silver ring on her left hand, the one engraved with Eren’s very initials. 

She winces as she tugs it over her knuckles, her ring finger feeling suddenly light as she relieves herself from the metal weight, the same ring she’s been wearing for hundreds of years. There’s a permanent indent in her skin but none of it phases her as she slaps the cold metal onto the bartop in front of Eren.  There, there is her answer.  He gasps audibly next to her, both of them staring at the delicate silver band, her engagement ring. 

“Mikasa,” he murmurs in shock and her lips quirk up involuntarily, it’s the first genuine reaction of shock she’s gotten from him in years.  He looks at her with emerald eyes full of shock and betrayal as his own much larger hands snatch the ring up, holding it in his palm. 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“I just did,” she responds casually, taking another sip of her drink and Eren’s hands clench around the ring involuntarily, his knuckles turning white with the effort. 

His expression turns stony as he glares down at the bar top, “You can’t seriously blame me for this Mikasa, everyone agrees. Why do you think Jean has never made a move on you? Why Annie and Armin live on other sides of the world?”  Her lips curve down into a scowl, she doesn’t care about them! It’s not fair, they’re the ones that were to be married first, before all of this bullshit. It’s not fair to hide her love purely to spare someone else’s feelings. 

She kicks the side of the bar under the counter, her foot creating a little dent in the wood and Eren winces slightly at the sound. 

Mikasa turns to him fully after that, she won’t be persuaded, this is her last stand, if she’s going to be alone forever she might as well make it official, no more ring, no more overdramatic meetups filled with longing glances lust-addled touches, no, it’s over, she doesn’t want to see him again. No more torture of waiting for their next visit, no more dreaming of the singular scrap of physical affection she’s allowed from him, the hug when they leave, no more!

She steels herself as she looks into the handsome face of her now ex-fiancé, she’s always had a hard time saying no but this time it’ll be forever.  “Eren, if I’m going to spend eternity alone, I’m going to do it properly. No more of this crap. We’re together or we’re not.”  She takes a long breath, her final words cutting, “And evidently Eren,” she pauses for effect, silver eyes locked with green, “we’re not together.” 

Then she does something she’s never done before, it’s always been Eren, but this time it’s her turn. 

She leaves. 

She leaves, her love, her other half, soulmate, her everything, she leaves him at a dinky little bar in the middle of nowhere.  And some part of her is proud of herself, she did it, she overcame her own feelings. 

So, she leaves. 

But she doesn’t get very far and as her shoes crunch against the wet asphalt of the parking lot she doesn’t expect to be suddenly thrown over someone’s shoulder, and a terrified scream escapes her. 

Her vampiric instincts kick in, and she’s this close to ripping her captor apart but then she hears his voice and the large hands wrapped around her thighs are very familiar, although it’s been so long since they’ve held her like this.  “Little brat, you’ve gotten so feisty in your old age Mikasa, I don’t appreciate it.” She gasps slightly as she turns her head to look at him, barely able to glimpse his pretty face from this angle. 

“Does this mean?” She murmurs and Eren squeezes her thigh affectionately, “This means were going to Vegas.”  This is not what she was expecting.  “Why?” 

Eren scoffs, “To get married of course.”

A startled laugh escapes her and she drops her head to the warmth of his back in relief, who would have thought it’d work. She’s out-stubborned Eren Yeager. 

“I love you Eren.”  She can hear the smile on his lips as he replies, dropping a kiss to her nearest body part which seems to be her thigh, “I love you too Mikasa.”  It's blissfully silent for a moment and then he ruins it, “But you’re telling Armin this is your fault. I really tried and I think that should be appreciated.”

She shakes her head, what an idiot. 

[halstudandruz]

Research Purposes ~ Part 2

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Jay x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: What happens when the only person in the world you didn’t want finding out does?

Warnings: Swearing

A/N: Part one found here (NSFW, 18+)

A/N 2: Also thank you to @enchantedblackrose for the idea 😊

If you are not 18+ and are unable to read part 1 and want to back story just hit me up (:

“We’re so freaking late. There’s no way we’ll have time to stop for my car.” You rushed around Jay’s apartment, pouring coffee for both of you.

“And whose fault is that.” Jay looked at you accusingly.

“I was just trying to help the environment.” You shrugged, handing him his cup after checking the lid.

“You and I both know we wasted more water in there together than we would’ve showering on our own.” He retorted grabbing his badge and gun off the coffee table to secure them to his belt.

“Yeah okay so I wanted shower sex sue me.” You rolled your eyes shrugging your jacket on.

“I wasn’t the one complaining.” He smiled, taking a drink.

“We would’ve had more than enough time if you didn’t insist on cuddling this morning.” You pointed out, remembering how he pulled you back into his chest every time you tried to move out of bed a couple hours prior.

“You like shower sex. I like cuddling.” He teased handing you your purse.

“Maybe we can draft up an alternate schedule.” You joked.

“I do hear compromise is the key to a healthy relationship.” He replied.

“We gotta go if you don’t want to get pulled over for speeding.” You changed the subject reaching for the door knob, before being tugged back by your arm, turning in time for Jay’s lips to meet yours in a sweet, passionate kiss.

“To get us both through the day.” Jay winked reaching around you to open the door and usher you out.

This was the second time that week you and Jay would be showing up to work together. Nobody noticed it the first time, but your anxiety climbed at the thought of someone recognizing and approaching you about it. What would you say? You and Jay were only in it purely for the sex. Right? Regardless of that fact that you had stayed at his house almost every night the past couple weeks even without the promise of sex, or how your stuff was starting to accumulate at his house from the past few months. A few t-shirts mixed in with his, hair straightener resting on his bathroom organizer, makeup scattered about on the dresser. Friends with benefits, that’s all it was. Nothing more and you certainly were not gaining feelings for him. Absolutely not that was against the rules and you were not about to be some stereotypical fuck buddy turned feelings trope, but you were getting sloppy apparently. You agreed to enter through the front while Jay entered through the back. Skipping up the steps you threw a smile at Trudy offering her a good morning, but in return she stared you down, eyebrow raised as she rested against the desk.

“What?” You stopped in your tracks in front of her. But she stayed silent giving you a look, and you just knew she knew. She was Trudy Platt. She knew everything.

“You should tell him.” She whispered to you, and it’s not the first time she had said something of the sort recently.

“Tell who, what?” You continued to fake innocence as you had the times before.

“It’s going to end badly.” She pushed again.

“It already did end badly.” You reminded her before trudging upstairs feeling the heat of her stare still on your back. Everyone except Kim was already there, including Jay who had his feet kicked up on his desk looking through a file. You greeted everyone draping your coat over the back of your chair and falling into it.

The first hour ticked by slowly, and you found your eyes moving across the room to focus on Jay. Opened documents lay across your desk. He looked so relaxed, shoulders loose, breaths slow and even, head resting against his palm as he fought not to fall asleep. You knew he would rather be out chasing suspects, but deep down you were starting to register you were okay with paperwork days. It meant he was safe, and that thought scared you a little. The last time you had those same thoughts you were staring at a different man in the room. A man who sat not too far behind Jay, clicking his pen absentmindedly as he often did when he was bored.

“Ruz, I’ll break the damn pen.” Kevin grumbled, as he had many times before in response to the habit.

“Sorry.” Adam mumbled, setting the utensil onto his desk away from his fidgety hands.

You chuckled at the small exchange, experiencing the exact same one many times in the years you had been detailed in intelligence with the best people you could’ve ever asked to work with. That certainly didn’t mean it wasn’t complicated though, and you were the very obvious example of that. You watched Jay’s head bob catching himself before adjusting in order to keep himself awake. His eyes accidentally met yours, heart rate immediately increasing. He sent you a small smile as his eyes started to roam over your body. Looking for a distraction from the tedious work. You couldn’t scold him. It wasn’t like you hadn’t been doing the same thing the past 10 minutes. Looking at his arms that were tight against his sleeves you wondered if the scratch marks you left on his biceps this morning would still be prevalent, or if the fading hickey from nights prior was still noticeable on his hip bone.

“I need coffee. Anyone else?” You asked trying to divert the obvious eye fucking your were giving each other. Everyone in the room raising their hands. You laughed taking notice of all the tired eyes who so obviously wanted to bash their heads off the desk already bored out of their minds, just waiting for a case to jump off.

“I’ll help.” Jay offered, voice gruff from barely speaking all morning. Together you poured and distributed everyone cups. Sitting back down into your chair when Jay was handing Kev his.

“You gonna shave that thing anytime soon? You usually can’t stand it past a week.” Kevin asked Jay, referring to his beard. They had always teased him whenever he claimed it grew in patchy compared to Adam and Kevin’s and it usually resulted in him having a clean shaven face the next shift. But it had grown in quite nicely this time, and he made sure to keep it presentable by trimming it as needed.

“No, it’s starting to grow on me. I’m keeping it for research anyway. Seems it can enhance far more than just my facial features.” Jay shrugged casually sitting back down atin his chair, and at his words you choked on your coffee spitting it all over your desk. Uncontrollable coughs tickling your throat.

“You good [Y/L/N]?” Hailey asked standing up to help you.

“Yeah..sorry. Just.. went down the wrong pipe. Didn’t expect it to be so.. hot.” You explained between coughs looking across the room to glare at Jay who wore a cocky smirk on his face, flipping through papers not daring to look up at you.

“You forget your ice?” Adam asked, knowing you had put a couple cubes of ice in your coffee every morning cooling it down so you could drink it faster.

“I must’ve. Kinda out of it today.” You shook your head taking napkins out of your drawer to try to clean up the mess you had made on your desk as well as your white shirt.

“I’ll get you some.” He started to walk towards the break room.

“It’s really okay I spit most of it out anyway.” You laughed.

“I’ll just get you a new cup.” He reasoned and you just thanked him not feeling like bickering with him about it. He had been going out of his way to do nice things for you recently. You assumed either so you wouldn’t spill the beans about him and Upton or because he felt bad.

“There’s no way this is coming out..” You grumbled dabbing at the tan stain forming on your shirt, “Do you happen to have a spare?” You asked, turning towards Hailey.

“I’m sorry I don’t. I used my spare the other day after that shooting and haven’t brought another extra.” Hailey apologized. You waved her off thanking her anyway.

“There’s one in my locker.” Jay offered, “You’ll probably just have to tuck it in.” You thought for a moment, it probably wouldn’t look like a big deal. Just a friend helping out a friend.

“Okay. Thanks.” You nodded getting up to head to the locker room where Jay followed. “I know where your locker is.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yes, but you don’t know my combination nor are you very good at opening dial locks. Hence why you have a keypad one on yours.” Jay pointed out, spinning his combination. He was right. You could never open dial locks.

“Do you analyze everything I do?” You crossed your arms annoyed at how well he always seemed to know you.

“You’re an interesting person babe.” He smiled handing you the shirt as he kissed your forehead.

“Watch yourself. You don’t know who’s hiding in here.” You lectured, “this is your fault by the way.”

“I know. Total win-win situation.” Jay laughed, smiling brightly.

“You’re gonna be the death of me Jay Halstead.” You groaned, a small smile on your lips.

“What a way to go though, huh?” He quipped, giving you a quick kiss.

“Get out.” You pushed his chest.

“What? No free peep show? I offered you my shirt and everything.” He acted offended.

“They’re gonna start getting suspicious if we are in here any longer go.” He huffed at your reply giving in and leaving as you turned around to switch shirts. Jay’s scent immediately overwhelmed you as you slipped his shirt on. Causing your body to relax in turn at the familiar fragrance. Jay was right, you had to tuck the shirt into your jeans, otherwise it could’ve been a dress thanks to your large height difference. Turning to walk out of the locker room, you were met with Adam holding a new cup of coffee out to you making you jump at the unexpected body in your path. “Thank you.” You giggled taking it from his hand to take a drink.

“Did you change?” He asked, eyeing the shirt you now wore.

“Oh yeah. I had white on and it was gonna stain so Jay offered me his shirt.” You explained, shifting on your feet at the uncomfortable conversation.

“Well I have one. It might fit you better.” He offered moving to walk towards his locker, but you put a hand to his chest stopping him.

“I’m good this one is perfectly fine.” You reassured him, Adam stared at you, breaking the tense silence with a long sigh, leaning against the side of the lockers.

“Listen we never got to talk about that night you came to my apartment. I just wanted to say I’m really sorry you-“ He began to apologize when Kevin peeked his head in the door.

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt..” he looked between the two of you awkwardly, “but we just got a case.” Adam cleared his throat as you nodded,

“We can..finish this later.” You chewed on your lip pushing past him to grab your coat out of Kevin’s hand.

It was nearing 8 o’clock by the time Voight had given you guys permission to go home and get some sleep. Knowing you’d be returning bright and early in the morning to continue to case.

“What do you think about pizza tonight? I’ve been craving some Bartolis.” Jay asked walking down the stairs behind you.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” You stopped turning to face him when you rounded the corner out of sight.

“Well I can just get pizza and I’ll stop for whatever else you want too.” He offered.

“I’m not talking about food, Jay.” You laughed, looking at the ground. Your mind had been racing since showing up with Jay this morning.

“Then..what are you talking about?” He asked, stepping closer towards you.

“I mean I don’t know I’ve been at your place almost every night the last couple weeks.” You whispered, hoping your voice wouldn’t carry to anyone nearby.

“Well we can go to your place. That’s fine.” He reasoned.

“No that’s not..” You sighed not able to find the words.

“Hey, just talk to me. What’s up.” He encouraged hands falling to your hips holding you gently.

“I’m just worried we’re starting to get careless. Showing up to work twice in one week together. One of these days we’re bound to get caught either coming in together or showing up on scene together. We don’t even know what this is. I don’t want to have to talk to Voight about it in the meantime.” You explained.

“We can be more careful. I promise. I just don’t want you to freak out about this.” He assured you tucking your hair behind your ear. “Can we just address how good you look in my shirt. I’m so glad you’re such a klutz..” Jay’s eyes roamed up and down your body.

“I am not a klutz! How did you expect me to react?” You crossed your arms, glaring at him as you did a few hours prior.

“Well is it not the truth? This thing is still on my face purely for your satisfaction.” He reminded you by trailing his lips down your neck, immediately summoning goosebumps from the raggedness tickling in the wake of his lips. He winked knowing his point was proven, moving up to place a soft kiss on your lips. “Sooo pizza?” He asked, pulling back, hopeful look on his face.

“Fine, but I’m not going in to get it.” You rolled your eyes, a bright smile on your face when he wrapped an arm around your shoulders pulling you towards his truck but when you rounded the corner your eyes connected with Adam’s who stood near the door, eyes wide between you two as Jay let his arm fall to his side, your feet rooted to the floor.

“I forgot my wallet in my locker.” Adam explained stammering over his words.

“Well don’t let us keep you. See you tomorrow brother.” Jay remained calm grabbing your arm to pull you out. Patting Adam on the shoulder when you passed.

“Shit!” You cursed when you reached Jay’s truck.

“What?” He questioned and you looked at him dumbfounded.

“You’re fucking kidding me right?” You scoffed.

“He’s not gonna tell Voight. For starters it’s Adam. Plus we know about him and Hailey. He can’t.” He shrugged.

“That’s not what I’m worried about!” You yelled.

“You just said that’s what you were worried about.” Jay reminded you, trying to catch up. “Babe.” He urged when you didn’t answer him.

“You don’t get it Jay!” You shook your head, lump forming in your throat at the anxiety the situation presented.

“No, you’re right I don’t. I’m sorry. Help me understand.” He grabbed a hold of your hand trying to get you to face him.

“Not right now.” You chewed your lip feeling a few tears fall down your cheeks, quickly swiping them away before they were seen, but you knew Jay would know regardless. You were tired, hungry, and now slightly panicking at the thought of having to address the entire situation. His hand squeezed yours tighter before starting his truck putting it in drive.

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@jayxhalsteadx @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @toomuchtv95 @queen-of-arda

[dat-carovieh]

Hot mess Jaskier

Ship: Geraskier

Rating: T

Wordcount: 2k

Tags: Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Jaskier, Apologies, JAskier has a beard, Geralt has feelings, Sexual tension

Geralt stopped, his hand on the door handle. He was about to enter a tavern as he heard a familiar voice from the inside. It sounded familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. There was no doubt, it was Jaskier in there singing. But he didn’t sound like he used to. His songs had all been different, but mostly ballads or something to dance to. This sounded so different, more powerful, he couldn’t place it, he hadn’t heard something like this before. It was louder and faster, than his songs used to be and his voice was deeper. It didn’t sound bad, but unusual.

Geralt opened the door, feeling anxious, he hadn’t seen Jaskier for a whole year, the last time they saw each other, he had screamed at him and sent him away, which had obviously been a huge mistake. Telling your best and only friend, they are the reason for everything bad in your live was never a good idea. He hoped, he would get the chance to make things right again. After a short glance around Geralt froze. That had not at all been what he had expected. Yes, it was Jaskier who was playing but he looked so different, if not for the voice, Geralt would probably not have recognized him. At least not right away. His hair was longer, falling over his eyes, he was no longer wearing colorful clothes but mainly black and dark grey, his trousers were a lot tighter than they used to be. He used to be clean shaven, whenever possible, but not anymore, it wasn’t a beard, but there were a lot of stubble, also his face was painted, really dark color around the eyes and some patterns on his face. He wasn’t smiling even a bit. Usually he would have a big smile or grin on his face while playing. The only thing Geralt could think about right now was, that Jaskier looked extremely hot. This was new and a little confusing. Sure, Jaskier had always been good looking, but Geralt would have never described him as hot. This would not make it easier to talk to him.

Geralt decided to take a seat, some ale would probably be a good decision, to drown the emotions, Witchers don’t have. Jaskier either hadn’t seen him yet or he did a good job hiding it or maybe he just really didn’t care. Geralt hoped the last wasn’t true, he cared deeply for the bard and it would hurt to much, if Jaskier didn’t at all.

“The next song is for the guy who just came in, trying to be subtle and sitting alone back in that corner. Yes, I’ve seen you,” Jaskier announced, staring daggers at him. He obviously cared, Geralt wasn’t sure anymore, if that was a good thing. The song was filled with anger and pain, telling a story about someone who once cared deeply about a friend but was mistreated again and again until he was sent away and broke. Witchers don’t have emotions, so that tear, that found its way out of Geralt’s eye must have had other reasons. As Jaskier sung, he continued to stare at Geralt who felt really uncomfortable, especially since everyone else was also turning heads, to look at him, but he probably deserved it.

When Jaskier had finished his performance, he put down his lute and went to the bar. Some people tried to approach him. His new music style seemed to be received well, at least with younger people. But everyone went away soon. Jaskier still didn’t smile and he seemed as if he didn’t want to be bothered. He really did change a lot. After he’d gotten his drink, he turned around and looked at Geralt, his lips pressed into a thin line. But at least, he wasn’t ignoring him, he might get a second chance with him. A chance to make everything right again.

“You’re staring is not really subtle, Geralt,” he said, while sitting down across the Witcher.

“You’re hot,” Geralt whispered without thinking. It was the only thing on his mind right now, he couldn’t process the way, Jaskier looked. He was sweaty and his long hair was a complete mess.

“That was not what I was expecting to hear first, after you told me, I’m the worst thing that ever happened to you. What do you want, Witcher? I would have ignored you, since you made clear, you don’t want anything to do with me, but it’s a public place, we are both allowed to be here but you wouldn’t stop staring at me.”

“It’s not true.” Geralt was fidgeting with his mug, slowly turning it between his hands.

“What?” Jaskier was still staring at him, with this serious expression.

“Its not true that I don’t want anything to do with you,” he answered.

“Well good, I guess. But it sounded very different when you were yelling at me on that damn mountain. We have two options right now, I get up and leave and we will never talk again, or you start to fucking talk to me, Geralt.” Jaskier’s voice had gotten louder and angrier.

Geralt took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, for what I did. I listened to your song and I realized, I did much more to you then I knew. I’m sorry, I yelled at you, one year ago, and I’m sorry for what I said. It was not true. It’s not a blessing to have you gone, it’s a curse. Nothing I blamed on you was your fault and I didn’t think so back then. I let my emotions get to me. I’m also sorry, I treated you the way I did during the years of our friendship, you have always been a loyal friend to me and I was stupid enough to take you for granted. You did not deserve the treatment you got from me. And if life could give me one blessing, you would give me a second chance to make it all right.” Saying all of that out loud had been a relieve, but also exhausting.

Jaskier nodded and got up. “You ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I can’t forgive you that easily.”

Geralt nodded, he understood that.

“All I ask is a chance to earn your forgiveness,” he said quietly.

“I will think about it. Be here tomorrow evening.” With that he turned around and left for an empty table.

Geralt slept badly that night and was a complete mess in the morning, he didn’t feel able to do anything productive so he spent most of the time just waiting, until the sun began to set and it was time to go to the tavern and hope Jaskier would come. He wasn’t there yet, but Geralt didn’t expect him to be, so he sat down and waited. He nearly wanted to give up, when the door flew open and a clearly drunk Jaskier entered. “Oh, look who it is, Geralt ‘I need no one’ of fucking Rivia,” he yelled and walked over to Geralt’s table.

“Jaskier,” Geralt said gently. He was a little startled since Jaskier had been much calmer the last evening but the alcohol seemed to bring up all the bottled-up emotions. He slammed his hands on the table and bowed down so he was eyelevel with Geralt. And he was close, really close. Geralt had to bite his tongue, to somehow keep his emotions at bay. Why was he suddenly so hot? And the anger made it even worse.

“Maybe we should go outside, for a moment, “ Jaskier growled and without waiting for an answer, he turned around and went through the door. Geralt got up and followed him outside and around a corner. As soon as he arrived, Jaskier started yelling at him.

“Do you have any idea, what I gave up for you? Living on the road with you, like that, sleeping outside and in shitty inns for months at the time? Being treated like baggage and insulted. I could have stayed home, could have lived comfortably. But when I met you, I was a naive 18-year-old who thought he could make the world a better place. I thought I could help you, better your reputation, which I did. You know I did, people approach you much differently than they used to. You are the White Wolf and no longer the Butcher of Blaviken and this is MY doing. I saw you sitting alone in that corner and I knew, you needed a friend, don’t deny it, you know it’s the truth but you could never admit it, I fought so hard only for you to reject me again and again.” While he was yelling, he had come closer and closer until he was standing only inches from Geralt. Geralt could feel Jaskier’s breath on his lips. Jaskier’s eyes flickered to Geralt’s eyes to his lips and then farther down.

“Are you seriously HORNY right now?” he asked. Geralt’s throat felt like something was stuck in there. That was the worst time for that.

“I’m sorry, I really am, but have you looked in a mirror, lately?” He didn’t have much more to lose, Jaskier would either leave him for that or not.

“I hate you, Geralt,” Jaskier whispered as he shoved Geralt against the wall and kissed him. Geralt let out a small moan and wrapped his arms around Jaskier. That was probably a really bad idea but he’d dreamed of that for so long, he couldn’t break the kiss up. The warm body pressed I him against the wall with surprising strength. The kiss was rough and Jaskier’s hand grabbed Geralt hair and pulled it back. Geralt moaned again and pressed himself against Jaskier, he could feel the bard’s erection against his own crotch. That really was an extremely bad idea. Geralt really wanted to do this, but that was not the right time. It would just drive them further apart. He gently pushed Jaskier away and they looked at each other, heavily breathing.

“I don’t think, that’s a good idea, we should resolve all of this before anything else,” Geralt said.

Jaskier smiled a little bit. It’s the first time since what felt like an eternity that Geralt had seen just a shadow of a smile. “That’s a good start,” he said.

Geralt looked at him questioning: “Was that some kind of test? “

“No, at least not planned. When I kissed you, it was purely instinct, but you didn’t take advantage of the situation. Because of that I’m willing to give you one more chance to make it right.”

Words couldn’t describe how relieved Geralt felt as he heard these words. He reached forward, pulling Jaskier in his arms and hugging him tight.

“I missed you, but don’t tell anyone, I have a reputation to maintain.” Jaskier giggled a little.

“Just don’t forget, I’m still mad at you, I’m only giving you that chance because I’m stupid and I love you.”

Geralt stroked through Jaskier’s hair and hugged him even tighter. “I know. And I love you too.”

They were standing there hugging each other for what seemed to be an eternity until Geralt let go of Jaskier and looked at him.

“Also, what happened to you? You don’t look like you, I barely recognized at first,” Geralt said and pushed Jaskier’s hair out of is face.

“You left me, that’s what happened,” Jaskier sounded slightly angry again but only for a moment, “I felt like I had to change something.” He blinked at Geralt, who still had one arm around his hip and the other in his hair.

“It suits you; you should at least keep the longer hair. Like I said, you’re hot,” Geralt whispered and could feel a shiver running through the bard. He would never hurt Jaskier again, he promised himself that. Jaskier deserved to be as happy as possible. He buried his nose in the long brown hair and enjoyed the scent he had missed for the last year.

[victoria-daydreams]

The Long Way Home

Chapter Five: A Summer Place

AN: Claudia is back babyyyy!!!

Trigger Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.8k

Taglist: @iloveeverything-09​, @eiferundruhe​, @greatscott--wrongdecade​

Chapter Six: Hell Hath No Fury

Claudia's POV

This was not what I was expecting today.

Today was supposed to be another ordinary day, I just returned from the airport an hour ago after dropping my parents off, it was a lovely week of fun spending time with my parents. And at that moment, nothing felt better than falling into a deep sleep, but the weather was too nice for me to nap the day away. The sun was warm enough, watery in the way it was just before the heat of the evening, but there was a slight chill on the breeze that would make you shiver for sure once you got out of the water wet, still it was perfect swimming weather.

Underneath my umbrella, I sat in my chair sipping from my glass of lemonade absently in one hand while my other hand held the latest copy of Jet magazine. This is how a summer day should always be. Refreshing. Cool. And with Andy Williams soothing voice as background noise, god, I almost wanted to dance and laugh and smile and sing all at the same time. For once, I was glad that none of the neighborhood children were begging to play in the pool.

Everything was perfect.

And then it happened.

I was enjoying the serene moment until a sudden rush of emotions gushed up to the forefront of my consciousness. Thrill, excitement, determination, annoyance, and curiosity they all flooded my senses. I could almost feel the tingling of my powers tickling me on my fingertips. But one stood out above all of them.

Guilt.

With the slightest of movement I flicked my fingers immobilizing four out of the five men in my backyard. "Now Hank," I called out, setting down my glass and magazine on a small table next to me. "When I invited you to stop by my house whenever you please, that invitation wasn't extended to a stranger, a wanted criminal, a drug abuser, and a..." I paused, loudly sniffing the air twice. "A dog," I finished, not bothering to turn around.

"I wouldn't have brought them along if this wasn't important," Hank explained. "We need your help Claudia," he added.

"You've go to be kidding me?" I breathed, as released my telekinetic hold. I swung my legs over the side of my lounge chair and slipped on the silk robe that was on back of it. "I let the maids take off one day and look what happens," I complained, rolling my eyes before lifting the needle of my recorder player.

I rose from my seat, sliding my shoes on and with a slow sauntering gait, I walked towards the group. I was thankful for the round, oversized sunglasses that I was wearing, for the dark brown frames hid how my eyes slightly widened at Charles' appearance. Charles looked...well he looked god awful, to be honest. He had always kept himself cleanly shaved, but now he had let his facial hair grow wildly on his face, even his shortly kept brown hair had grown out. And the dark bags under his eyes, it seemed like Charles hasn't a had good night's rest in years.

And Erik, for someone that's been imprisoned underneath The Pentagon he still managed to maintain his handsome, clean shaven, and chiseled face. You would think that the roles had been reversed, that Charles was the one who had been locked up and not Erik by their appearances. Numerous thoughts and feelings threatened to flood my mind, but I didn't allow it. Not yet. I just needed to focus on how to get them to leave.

"Wow, your lady friend is smokin' hot," the silver-haired boy stated, gawking at me in my v-cut one piece swimsuit which had the sides cutout.

I stopped in front of them with my hand on my hip, looking from the unknown man with sideburns to Charles and then Erik. Slowly, I used my free hand to remove my sunglasses from my face, my eyes narrowed.

"Charles," I greeted simply, as Hank shuffled slightly.

Charles stood in shock for a moment staring at me dumbly, probably just in as much shock from seeing me after all these years and how I changed. My long, black locks no longer fell down to my shoulders, but now floated above it in thick, tight curls of my afro. My chestnut brown skin was tanned from the warm summer sun, but still as radiant as ever.

"Y-You look well," Charles complimented smiling slightly, recovering from his lapse of silence, as he stared at me.

"You look like shit," I snorted, letting out a chuckle as I folded my sunglasses up and putting them into my pocket "The years haven't been kind to you have they?" I asked rhetorically, folding my arms together. "Tell me Charles, are you happier now that I'm gone?" I asked mockingly. "It sure doesn't seem like it," I added, really laying it on thick.

"Claudia, we are not here for this," 'Sideburns' grumbled.

I tuned my head slightly to the man, leveling him with a venomous look,"I'm sorry, but who the hell are you?" I questioned, arching a brow.

My eyes scanned over the man's appearance, he was a little more than six feet tall, and was probably in his early or mid thirties. He had to be military or ex-military because he was built like a soldier, his muscles seemed to be harder than a tree from the way his clothes clung to him. Dark brown sideburns came down his face which reached his cheeks along with a five o'clock shadow. Anger seemed to ooze out of this man's pores. I knew he could take care of his self in a fight if such an event were to ever occur.

"My name is Logan," he answered, his blue eyes burning like two hot coals as he stared into mine.

"Are you sure it's not Dog?" I asked, a wry grin appearing on my lips as I watched this man's jaw clench. "You know with the sideburns the similarities are...uncanny," I stated, shaking my head and focusing my attention to Hank who was next to me, and was about to open his mouth. "I could call the authorities you know?" I said, cutting Hank off. "Erik's bounty would fetch a substantial payout," I noted, tapping my index finger on my cheek, thinking.

"You seem to be getting on well enough as it is," Erik replied, flicking his chin out in regards to my home.

I raised my eyebrow, "So why settle for less?" I asked cheekily.

He scoffed in disbelief, "You would actually sell me out?" Erik asked, crossing his arms.

"I'm just doing my patriotic duty Erik," I answered, raising my hands up and shrugging.

"Claudia," Hank called softly, and I looked back over to him. "I know that you have every reason to be upset right now, but please hear us out," Hank pleaded.

"We need your help Claudia," Logan stated.

"Then go hire a maid," I retorted, waving him off.

Logan growled in frustration, "Do you know how much trouble we been through just to break Erik out of the Pentagon and now to get you?" he asked, furrowing his brows.

I slid my hands into my robe pockets, "Sounds like a personal problem," I replied, shrugging again. "I didn't force you to do any of this," I pointed out with a grin.

Logan's hand clenched itself in a tight fist, "Listen lady, I've had-" He gritted out.

"No, you listen!" I interrupted, stepping closer to him. "I don't know who the hell you think are to think that you can waltz into my backyard and start making demands of me," I sassed, looking Logan up and down. I stepped in front of Hank and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hank, under any other circumstance I would be happy to see you, or even help you. But due to the fact that there are some..." I trailed, looking back at Erik and Charles. "Undesirable individuals with you," I continued, focusing my attention back to Hank. "If I were to join this little party of yours it would never work. You see Hank, I live a very comfortable life now and I'm not giving it up for the likes of them," I finished, shaking my head.

"But it's not for them Claudia, it's for humanity itself. We're trying to save the world," Hank explained, giving me a pleading look.

"Hmmm," I hummed, a sardonic smile on my lips as I shook my head again. "Funny, they said the same thing in 1962," I remembered. "Truly Hank, it was nice to see you after all these years," I smiled, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before removing my hand and turning to face the men behind me. "But, it's time for you and your guests to leave. You have overstayed your welcome," I said, gesturing to the backyard gate. "Safe travels," I added, spinning on my heel and moving past Hank toward my backdoor.

"You're just going to let her go?" I heard Logan ask. "To hell with this," he grumbled.

"Logan don't-"

I went to take another step forward, but a calloused hand roughly grabbed my wrist, spinning me around and making our bodies bump into each other.

"We're not going anywhere until you fully hear us out!" Logan exclaimed, as I glared at him. "I'm not sure what it is about you that makes Charles and Erik so subdue, but I'm not them. I'm not afraid of you!" he announced, keeping his grip tight around my wrist.

Instinctively, my free hand bawled itself into a fist cloaked in a violet aura as a scowl made its way onto my face.

"Uhh...mister her hand is glowing," The silver-haired boy informed, as I swung a powerful blow to Logan's jaw, his body crumpling on the lawn.

"They're not scared, they just know better," I corrected, spreading my fingers out and the aura spread from my hand to encasing Logan's limbs. Forcefully, I planted my foot down onto Logan's chest, tilting my head as I looked down at him. "But you? Why in the world would you be? I'm nothing to be afraid of, as you can obviously tell. I'm far too small to be any threat to a big, strong man like you," I mocked, pressing my foot down even harder and Logan glared daggers at me.

"Claudia-" Charles began, but I just lifted one finger silencing him.

"Typically, I wouldn't be opposed to ripping your limbs off right now," I explained, stretching my fingers out slightly and Logan grunted at the modest tugs at his extremities. "But, I would hate to get this freshly mowed lawn all bloody. One of the neighborhood boys worked so hard on it," I commented. "Now, like I said before, it's time for you to go," I enunciated slowly, hoping that it would get through that thick skull of his.

I removed my foot from Logan's chest, shooting him one more glare before I walked to the backdoor. As I opened the backdoor to my home I released my hold on Logan's appendages.

"Wow Charles, you sure know how to pick them," Logan drawled sarcastically.

And with a wave of my hand I forcefully shut the door behind me.

Chapter Seven: A Woman Scorned

[binniedeactivated]

➥ PAIRING ||  taehyun x beomgyu

➥ GENRE || soulmate au! , enemies to lovers!, fantasy fanfiction

➥ W/C | 10k+

➥ SYNOPSIS || in which the both of them were admitted to Halls of Brotherhood: University of Magic.  They were soulmates. yet they hated each other. But the marks on their skin said otherwise. 

→ soulmate au where the thoughts of their soulmate inscribe themselves on one another’s skin

➥ WARNINGS || profanity, slight violence, angst I think?, fluff, mutual pining,  slow burn kinda?

a/n; okay guys, this is my first time writing fantasy fiction so pls forgive me if it isn’t good. I’ve been trying to write this genre for years but couldn’t get it right. @moonlit-lixie your ask inspired me to write a soulmate au 🤲🏿

“You promised me I’d go to a normal school. You promised that I wouldn’t have to practice any of that stuff”. beomgyu whines to his mother from the passenger seat. It was the middle of the night and his heart was pounding in annoyance. He takes a hefty glance out the window through his bifocals and loses himself in the fast paced scenery. He wished he could be one of them. You know. a part of nature. Like a tree, a flower on the side of the road or something. He would do almost anything to escape this. 

“Gyu sometimes things just have to change”.  She swiftly replies. her beautiful face was calm and sullen while her hands rested on the steering wheel. That was one thing beomgyu always envied about his mother. She was so full of serenity in the midst of anything. she was a brave woman in the dust of any type of chaos. 

“I don’t want to dabble in that stuff ”. 

beomgyu swallows the leftover spit trapped in the space around his tongue. Magic has done nothing for him in life and in his mind, it never will. Magic was a nuisance. Magic was unforgiving. Magic killed his father.

She sluggishly presses her foot on the break and the both of them lean forward a bit at the sudden halt. beomgyu peers out of the windshield loathing in nervousness. They arrived at the train station and to his luck the boys were still boarding. His mother unbuckles her seatbelt shortly and beomgyu could only take a dreadful gander at her in shock. He wondered how she could be so comfortable  mindlessly sending her only child away to practice the very thing that did his family no good. 

“Why do I have to go? What difference will I add to them?”. 

“gyu what did I tell you about talking like that?”. 

He bit his lips feeling a little sorry for himself. He could’ve backtracked but he didn’t. That’s how he felt about himself and he couldn’t help it. He  was too puny to do much of anything. Puny, anxious and hot tempered. And without those thick round glasses he could barely see what was right in front of him. 

She gets out of the vehicle and once she did that beomgyu realized there would be no further discussion in the matter. He pushes open the passenger side door and tugs his luggage with him. He stuffs a hand in his pocket while the wind tousles his lengthy, black hair across his forehead. It was cold as hell outside and he wished he could just go back home to his bed. His mother approaches the conductor, showing the piece of mail she’d gotten days prior about beomgyu’s admission. Although the wind was tossing his hair a great deal beomgyu could still make out the sight of the conductor nodding in confirmation, gesturing him over. His mother awaited him at the entrance of the train to which he approached her with hesitance. Almost as if he were waiting for her to stop him in his tracks and admit this was all a prank. Or  shake him vigorously, admitting this was just a dream But no, everything was just as surreal as the hopeful sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him, as if she knew something he didn’t. 

She clutches either side of his head and plants a kiss on his forehead. 

“I love you okay? You know I'm not doing any of this to spite you. Magic is in your bloodline. I’ll be in contact with you always alright?”. 

He clutches her wrist. “I don’t want to do thi-”.

“Be strong for me beomgyu. Please”.

His heart ached at the agony in her eyes and he obliged. Magic was never his dream. It was hers. He nods his head though, telling her that he loves her and bids his farewell while stepping into the train cart. When he stepped on he was immediately pissed, assuming maybe he got the wrong cart. Out from the cold he was immersed into a noisy train, with loud and rowdy boys who were either talking at an ear piercing volume or pointlessly horsing around. none of them paid any mind to beomgyu though. Which was good, beomgyu hoped they kept that behavior up for as long as he were there. He swallows and pulls his varsity jacket sleeves over his fingertips, suddenly feeling anxious whilst walking down the aisle eyeing the empty seat in the back by the window. He hated settings like this. So lively and obnoxious it felt like the walls around him were closing in. 

“Bro! Let me see!”. 

A voice shrieks at a distance behind him before his footsteps grew closer, sounding as if he was sprinting. Within a blink of an eye beomgyu’s shoulder thrusted forward and he fell to the side, a result of the boy roughly running past him hitting his shoulder with no regard. Beomgyu felt his elbow suddenly press into the plastic bottle that the seated boy beside him was drinking from, leaving it now dented and water spilling all over the boy’s shirt. just by the way the boy was breathing beomgyu could tell he wasn’t too pleased. He pushes beomgyu off of him, so hard that his back almost hit the seats across from him. 

“Yo! Watch where the hell you’re going!”.

Beomgyu peeled himself off the seat and fixed his ruffled clothes. His heart rate quickened just seeing the boy’s face drawn into an angry expression. Overwhelming fury coiled in beomgyu’s stomach. 

“It was an accident!”. He hisses. 

“Well don’t make accidents you just spilled my water all over me you fucking idiot!“. 

Beomgyu clenches his jaw and balls his fists until his knuckles turned white. 

“Don’t call me that”. 

“Yeah? Or what? What are you going to do?”. 

Once beomgyu charged forward he was immediately braced back by a long arm stretching across his chest. A clean shaven, outrageously hefty man who they would later know as Cyprus-- one of the headmaster’s faithful subordinates--had made it his duty to prevent the dispute from going any further. 

“choi beomgyu”, he bellowed, his voice much more hoarse and gruff than beomgyu, or any of the boys expected. The cart grew quiet once the man spoke, they were tight lipped--  as if he used his hands and closed their mouths himself. beomgyu swallowed nervously and casts his eyes up at him.

“kang taehyun”, he bellows next. his dark eyes loomed over the both of them. taehyun breathed. 

“yes?”. he mutters, something in him refusing to sound as scared as he looked. 

“when you speak to me you use yes sir or no sir. do you understand?”. Beomgyu could only rest his eyes on the boy who was on the verge of beating the living shit out of him minutes prior, now mumbling with a speck of fear in his eyes. 

“yes sir?”. 

Cyprus then peers over at beomgyu. Beomgyu shifts his eyes from taehyun to cyprus a couple of times before realizing what he wanted. 

“oh um--um yes sir?”. 

“violence is not tolerated here. unless you want to face your discipline before you even get your room key, I suggest the both of you sit yourselves down somewhere”.  

Like the fall of a microphone cyprus unhands be0mgyu and continues his journey along the carts making sure the rest of the boys were in order. Even after his disappearance the cart was dead silent. 

Beomgyu tugs his luggage along with him to a random seat in the back, throwing himself down and laying his head back on the head rest as soon as he touches the chair. The doors were closing and the train was about to take off soon. The chatter on the cart began to sprout back up again. beomgyu sighed with his attention out the window. He wanted to be anywhere but here. 

“don’t worry about tyun, he’s been like that ever since we were kids”. A rather mellow, wistful voice spoke beside him. 

Beomgyu rolls his head over tiredly to the direction of the voice. He hadn’t even realized he was seated next to someone. 

“He’s been what? A sensitive piece of shit?”, 

The blonde haired boy smiled and laughed a little. Beomgyu had never seen a smile so bright in his life. His face was sort of angelic too, it had this shrill glow to it that beomgyu couldn’t stop looking at. He wondered if the boy was even real. 

“No-- i mean he’s hot tempered like that all the time. So don’t sweat it. You’ll eventually learn to just stay out of his way”. 

Beomgyu sucks his teeth. “or he can learn to stay out of mine”.

The boy laughs again, his face glowing so uncontrollably bright that his smile was a little contagious, spreading the disease of a small smile on beomgyu’s face also. The boy offers his hand, 

“You’re funny. I’m heuning kai. Maybe we should be friends”. 

Beomgyu was hesitant at first but nonetheless he shook it. 

“I’m choi beomgyu”. 

Heuning kai nods, thinking it was pretty odd to respond with “I know who you are”. Even though he did. He knew exactly who beomgyu was.

Beomgyu continued staring at his face-- it was obviously glowing at its edges. A sharp, pretty silver lining coasting along his jawline and over the crown of his blonde hair. Either that,  or maybe beomgyu was just sleepy. 

“So? Heuning kai …. what are you? Are you even a human?”. Beomgyu jokes. He really couldn’t fathom the other’s angelic appearance. 

Kai’s cheeks began to tint pink in embarrassment.  He thought he was blending in pretty well for the most part.  “What makes you ask that?”.

“You’re glowing”. 

Kai’s hands immediately touched his face which was incredibly warm. “Oh gosh I thought I had this under control”. he reaches into his bag and pulls out a small bottle of milk to drink. 

“Have what under control?”. 

“The glow. I’m half human and um--half fairy. I applied here so I can practice my magic”. 

Beomgyu had an urge to touch him. He looked so pretty and perfect he wanted to see what he felt like at least once.  He reached his hand out slowly to press his hand against kai’s. His skin was so velvety and pillow-like their hands practically melted into each other. 

“Wow you’re so soft. I’ve never really met a fairy before”.

“Half. I’m a half fairy. A hury”.  

“What’s the difference?”. 

“Well, full blood fairies are incapable of feeling human emotions and they lack human-like qualities. They act off of magic instead of logic. But since I’m half, I’m able to use my magic wisely”. 

Beomgyu nods in response, yawning with a sudden weary feeling washing over him all at once. 

“That’s pretty cool. Can you do me a favor though and wake me when the train stops? I’m beat”. 

Kai agrees, even though he wanted someone to talk to for the duration of the ride. He knew the other boys would think of him as a weirdo or freak of some sort. He was glad that beomgyu didn’t. No one ever took fairies too well. Beomgyu turned over though, curling his legs in the seat and allowed the moving moon to be his lullaby until he fell into his slumber. 

By the time the train arrived at their destination the morning had already beat them to it. Kai had done his duty by waking beomgyu as he asked, even though it wasn’t easy. He remembers his mother--who was a full blooded fairy-- used to sprinkle sleeping pixies over his face when he was younger to get him to wake up. Oh how he wished he could’ve used them for gyu. Hopefully when kai gained some more experience he’d have those under his belt. 

Beomgyu tugs his luggage and tiredly walks through the grassy quads of the campus  which was utterly beautiful. The blades of grass reflected hues of vivid greens he only saw in his dreams. Even the shadow stone architecture of each building was built into a modern piece of art. Each building had different words carved into the stone at the top of the building. Words such as “Magic Engineering house”,  “Magic Alchemy”, and even “Philosophy of Magic”. along these Multi colored stone walls and lining them occasionally were these big glass windows that were shiny and the cleanest he’s ever seen. But of course his moment of fascination came to an annoying end when he saw a big arrow sign, pointing first years to the direction of the auditorium. 

“Oh gosh”, beomgyu whined. “I just wanted to sleep”. 

“It’s morning time now. Plus you didn’t even get your room key, where are you going to sleep?”. Kai spoke from beside him. Beomgyu shrugs. 

“I’ll sleep on this grass if I have to”. 

Beomgyu meant it too. He really would’ve if he wasn’t so afraid of looking like an idiot. Instead he followed kai into the crowded auditorium,  it was filled with all of the first year boys babbling excitedly about what kind of magic they were going to be best at. Pft. as if they knew. Beomgyu refused to sit by himself so he followed kai to the end of the seventh row. 

Once beomgyu sat down he only looked up in demise, of course kang taehyun was also sitting at the end of the array of seats across from his. Beomgyu pretended he was taking short glances around the auditorium just so he could let his eyes fall on taehyun every once in a while. He happened to be conversing with his own friends looking as smug as can be. Beomgyu watches him talk with his hands. So sophisticated-like. Like he knew what he was talking about all the time. He watched as his black hair sat so neatly over his eyes, how cool he kind of looked with his red hoodie falling off his shoulder a little. Or how cute he looked with his dimples pushing into his cheeks whenever one of his friends said something funny. 

No, no way. No way could he be this cute. 

“Good morning first years! Headmaster Hutton welcomes you to Halls of Brotherhood: University of Magic!”. 

The applause after those words were extravagant. The boys clapped like they were at a concert or something. It was so loud it actually made beomgyu blink back from his small trance. Taehyun shifted in his seat uncomfortably amongst the applause. While he was clapping he felt a stinging sensation along his forearm. He was going to ignore it thinking maybe his hoodie sleeve had scratched him a little. But it felt as though something was writing into his skin. He hesitantly pushes his hoodie sleeve up his arm with black ink catching his eye. His forearm was stained with sloppy yet surprisingly legible handwriting. 

No way. No way could he be this cute. 

Taehyun shakes his head and pulls his sleeve back down over the dark mark with his stomach churning. He’d just gotten on magical grounds and his soulmate had already begun thinking about him. In a way taehyun felt selfish. He wasn’t thinking of his soulmate at all nor did plan to at any point. He just wanted to study magic and that was all. 

He couldn’t help his curiosities though. He snakes his eyes through the overstuffed auditorium full of boys, trying to decipher one by one who could it possibly be, who was looking at him at the moment or even sneaking glances his way. But from what he could tell everyone was paying attention to whatever the headmaster was saying. He still searches around even circling his eyes to beomgyu a couple of times. Of course beomgyu was paying him no mind, sneaking whispers over to heuning kai ever so often. After the episode they both had on the train it was safe to say that taehyun wasn’t fond of beomgyu at all. hell, he still wanted to beat the shit out of him for that. But in this moment he felt quite different. He watched as the boy's lengthy sleek black locks fell all over his head each time he moved and even the strands in the back reached down the nape of his neck. With the numerous piercings in his ear and the tan colored varsity jacket he was wearing taehyun noticed that beomgyu’s face starkly contrasted his look. A cute, rather anxious boy who dressed confident, maybe taehyun found that to be a little attractive. 

Maybe he’s a little attractive.

He quickly casts his eyes back on the headmaster though, catching up on the instruction of where to get room keys and uniforms. Beomgyu thought uniforms were kind of stupid, then again he didn’t mind waking up in the morning not having to think of an outfit. He wasn’t much of a morning person anyway, so that situation seemed pretty glorious. What wasn’t so glorious though was the tingling sensation crawling across his skin. He smacked himself, thinking it was a bug or something but the scrawling only insisted.

“You alright?”. Kai whispers. 

Beomgyu breathes and lifts his shirt sleeve up glaring at what looked to be a tattoo in someone's  handwriting. It was slanted and italic, quite beautiful actually. 

Maybe he’s a little attractive. 

“wow already?”.  Kai whispers again. “Your soulmate is already thinking of you”. 

“I don’t know why. I’m just sitting here. I’m not even worried about a soulmate. I don’t want one.”. 

“nonsense. You should think about them more. Having a soulmate is quite nice you know”. 

Beomgyu shrugs it off, ignoring his words and anticipating the end of orientation. He was grateful to finally get his room key, class schedule and uniform-- khaki pants, a yellow argyle sweater vest, a red tie and a white long sleeve button up to wear underneath. They were going to be sent an extra supply of them later, but for now they were required to wear them to each class. To his great fortune he was rooming with heuning kai. Well, to his fortune and misfortune. He wasn’t sure how kai would be as a roommate yet. 

On the other hand the room they were given was nice though, the typical two bed duo with a good amount of space in the middle as well as their very own desks and top cabinets on both walls. Kai throws his things down just to look around. And beomgyu did the same, trying to figure out what kinds of things he could put on his desk to encourage him to study. god, he hated studying. Just the thought alone made him want to pack his things and go home. But studying was the only way he'd get stronger in magic, so he had to learn somehow. He hoped kai had good studying habits. Perhaps he could copy off his paper every once in a while. 

“Wow. This room is pretty nice. I was expecting something smaller”. Kai spoke, walking around a bit. 

“Yeah me too. I wonder where we shower and stuff though”. 

“Headmaster says the showers are down the hall for each floor”. 

“Shit. so you’re telling me I can’t have my privacy either”. 

Kai laughs. “Well, the showers have curtains you know. They’re like little stalls. It isn’t like a group shower or anything. Like the ones in prison”. 

“Great. How awkward it’ll be to walk out the shower in front of a bunch of boys with just a bathrobe on”. 

“You’ll be fine hyung. Don’t sweat it”. 

Beomgyu sighs and plops himself down on the vacant bed, lying in a fetal sleeping position. “Can you wake me when another big event happens that requires my attendance?”. 

“Going to sleep already? You don’t want to go to breakfast?”. 

“Breakfast? We have breakfast?”. Beomgyu asks, still lying in his position contemplating on getting up. 

“yeah it’s still early. They can’t have us settle in without feeding us. You coming or what?”.

Beomgyu sighs. “You know what I guess I’ll come. I guess I am a little hungry anyway and I should take advantage of this food while I can”. He gets up and straightens his jacket a bit before following kai to the refectory. It wasn’t a long walk persé but  it did take quite some time to get there. He was glad he tagged along with kai because it would’ve been kind of sad for him to have to walk this path alone. 

“So? Heuning kai? Why aren’t you as excited and obnoxiously outgoing as the other boys?”. Beomgyu couldn’t help but ask on their way. Kai gives him a light shrug. 

“It’s just college I mean, what’s there to be excited about? It isn’t like anyone is going to take me seriously anyway. I might as well stay out the way”. 

“Take you seriously? Why wouldn’t they take you seriously?”. 

“Wow you seriously don’t know much about the world of magic huh?”. 

“Growing up I forced my mother to raise me like a regular kid. It was only until now where she decided that she wanted me to follow the mages in my bloodline. I’m practically a human. Anyway though, why wouldn’t they take you seriously?”.

Kai exhales with shame creeping up his throat. “Well in the world of magic, you have the big leaguers kind of like the NBA. the mages and the wizards and all. And then you have those in the middle, who are really good alchemists and magical engineers. And then all the way at the bottom there are the fairies. That is where I come in”. 

“Why are you guys at the bottom?”. 

“Well the others don’t think we’re as capable of having strong magic. They think we all just dance in glitter and glow in happiness. Like we’re completely oblivious to the world around us which isn’t true. And since fairies are kind of rare, there hasn’t really been a single fairy that proved otherwise. Meanwhile we hear about these great mages and wizards all the time,  so it’s kind of like we have nothing to go off of for ourselves”. 

beomgyu takes some time to think for a moment. In a way it was kind of true, he hasn’t really heard of fairies and their capabilities throughout the span of his life, hence why kai is the first fairy he’s ever met. Well, half fairy. The dilemma was still kind of surprising to hear about nonetheless. They were now opening the door to the entrance where beomgyu sits his hand on kai’s shoulder. 

“Well, I believe in you heuning. I think you can prove these bastards wrong”. 

Kai chuckles as his gesture, more appreciative than gullible. “Thank you but you don’t have to say things like that to cheer me up. I know mages and wizards are very strong in magic so maybe I won’t ever be able to top them. But as long as I’m perfecting my craft I guess that’s okay”. When he said that it kind of hurt him a little even though he internalized it prior to even attending the school. I guess it just hurts more when saying it aloud. 

Once they opened the double doors it wasn’t a surprise to see a little over one hundred first year boys in there already. The dining hall looked like something out of a Victorian era movie. There was a big beautiful bright chandelier hanging from the center of the ceiling and elegant designs engraved in the stone walls along the drapes. Even the floor was pure marble, sparkling and shining as if they were inviting every foot possible to walk on them. There were four extremely long dining tables in the center of the hall and buffet styled food around them at a distance along the walls. The boys were noisily eating at the tables and conversing with their friends. It made beomgyu kind of wonder how these guys made friends so fast in the first place.

Okay, so maybe beomgyu hadn’t been thinking about the pros and cons to this school before but after seeing the food he realized that it was definitely a pro. He’s had his fair share of good meals but he hadn’t ever seen food as perfect and well cooked as the food there. 

“Wow,”. beomgyu tones with his eyes grazing over the strawberry banana pancakes, topped with whipped cream and melted butter. Kai withdrew two metallic trays from the stack, one for him and one for beomgyu. 

“I know right. I was not expecting this”. 

And taking a few glances from a couple of tables behind them was taehyun who was chewing into his food and half listening to the conversation with his friends. There had to be some way he could get revenge on beomgyu. Especially with how unapologetic he looked when he did what he did to him. And then arguing with him after that made it much worse. Taehyun didn’t like disrespect of any kind, and he especially wasn’t going to take it from some puny kid. 

“I think, when we get really good at magic we should form a larger friend group you know? Like one of us could be good at alchemy, one at spells, one at history, you know”. Soobin begans, forking a big glob of rice into his mouth and finger combing his hair.

Yeonjun chews with his cheeks full, “who ever told you that you’d be good at magic?”. Earning a slap on his shoulder from soobin. 

“To have you know both of my parents were great mages that graduated from this school”. 

Taehyun sips orange juice from his straw. “Yeah and you’re they’re idiot son”. To which yeonjun tries his best to laugh without the contents of his mouth making a disgusting mess all over the white table cloth. Soobin rolls his eyes though and follows taehyun’s line of sight. 

“Hey isn’t that the kid who spilled water on you on the train last night?”. 

“Yeah. that little bastard”. 

“Tyun give it a rest, man. Mistakes happen”. Yeonjun consoles while wiping the corners of his mouth. 

Taehyun ignores him and gathers the small plates of food he hadn’t planned on eating, settling them onto his tray. 

“I’m going to go throw this stuff away I’ll be right back”, he uttered, removing himself from the table before even getting a chance to hear what they had to say. He breaks his way through the crowds of kids clutching his tray tightly in his hand until he was finally in the spot he was aiming for. He squeezed into the space in line,Just behind beomgyu where the trash can was located. He fake trips over some boy’s shoe, leaving him and his tray flying directly into beomgyu’s back. The metallic tray flipped and smeared the food all over the back of beomgyu’s jacket and fell to the floor obnoxiously loud. So loud in fact that it caught the attention of everyone in the refectory. 

Beomgyu stood there stunned, hoping what he thought happened to him hadn’t just happened. He could feel the heat of the food slide down his jacket and onto the floor below him and he turned around to see taehyun, stepping back and holding his hands up in surrender innocently. “It was an accident”. He admitted. But beomgyu knew full well it wasn’t. He could hear the animosity laced in his tone. Anger pooled in his chest and he grits his teeth. He automatically reaches his hand out to push taehyun back a couple of inches, almost knocking him into the heads of the boys behind him. 

“What the fuck you moron!”. 

Taehyun stumbles back to his feet and clenches his jaw even angrier. He pushes him back twice as hard. Beomgyu runs back and tackles him to the ground, trying his best to wrap his hands tightly around the younger’s neck. 

“Get the hell off me!”. Taehyun grumbled, snaking his hand from his side and finally managing to punch beomgyu in his jaw with it. 

After escaping his trance of shock kai rushes over to beomgyu’s aid and tugs him off of taehyun, trying his best to hold him back from going for a cheap shot. Soobin and yeonjun finally decided to amble to the scene also; they too were in too much shock to do anything the first time. Soobin helps taehyun off the ground and yeonjun acts as the safeguard to prevent taehyun from going back for another punch. Not that he could anyway, they could hear the sound of heels clashing against the marble floors gradually breaking their way through the group of boys until taehyun and beomgyu found out who they belonged to. 

A gorgeous woman who wasn’t any much shorter than them but was visibly older. A loose black bow tie clung around the collar of her white button up which she tucked into her long, plaid green and purple skirt that kissed the floor. Her dark spiral curled hair sat on her shoulders, unwilting and uptight, just like her displeased face when she approached them. She had this beautiful staff in her hand, it was purple and it had a pretty crystal ball at the top of it, like she withheld all of her magic within it’s confinement. She held her head high with pride before she spoke, 

“Mr. kang? Mr. choi? come with me please”. She beckoned before strolling out of the exit door. Kai pats beomgyu’s shoulder before letting him leave with taehyun following shortly after. The two boys were nervous as they followed her, for she hadn’t turned around once but it was like she could sense where they were behind her. 

“Look around yourselves dear. I want you to ask yourselves whether you see a campus or a boxing ring”. her high aristocratic voice bellowed as she walked, placing her staff in the space in front of her as if to help her get there. however beomgyu noticed she could walk just fine, she had perfect posture even. well she had the posture of a stuck up snob. 

“I expect an answer,”. she adds after their silence. 

“I see a campus mrs”. beomgyu rushes to speak in hopes of lessening the punishment they were already set on getting. he wishes he wasn’t so quick to talk though, his jaw was still aching in pain. he clutches it softly.

“It’s madam genevieve to you darling. kang taehyun? I’m assuming you see a campus as well?”. 

“yes madam genevieve”. 

she kept her thin red lips pursed into a fine line. 

“hm. I want you both to know that violence is never tolerated here. now since this is your first quarrel I shall start you off with a warning. anything after this will be detention and grade point deductions. do I make myself clear?”. 

beomgyu swallowed. cyprus obviously didn’t tell her about their train incident but he wasn’t going to be the one to tell her. And from the look on taehyun’s face taehyun wasn’t going to be the one to tell her either. 

“yes madam Genevieve”. The both of them stated in unison. 

“this university isn’t called halls of brotherhood without reason. we’re all on the same team and we should treat each other as such. now run along. mr. choi I suppose you need a slip to visit the medi?”. 

beomgyu was still stunned on how she could see him painfully rubbing his mouth when she hadn’t turned around. hearing her say that made beomgyu want to punch taehyun back twice as hard but he rather not risk his grades when the first day of classes hadn’t even started yet. he deserved to be in just as much pain as him.

“yes madam”. 

she curved her hands at an angle and blew into them softly, a signed slip of parchment paper gradually appeared in beomgyu’s hand. he jumps a bit at the sudden use of magic but he figured these are the kinds of things he’d have to get used to in this school. he bowed to her and graciously thanked her before going on his way to find the medical building. 

taehyun hated himself for feeling a little guilty after beomgyu departed. he deserved it didn’t he? he was trying to convince himself that he gave him a taste of his own medicine. But the tinge of guilt still hadn’t gone away. 

beomgyu was laying down when he felt the scrawling on his skin again. the medi-wizard was rubbing the scented magic oil along his jaw, it smelled of hints of chocolate and cocoa butter. beomgyu wondered what would happen if he licked it. but he was still a newbie at magic and didn’t want to risk those types of experiments with himself. as the oil settled on his skin he felt the aching pain go away. he could finally move his jaw properly.

“there you go. that should do it. you’re all set to leave lad”.

beomgyu sits up promptly and thank him, not expecting this visit to go by as fast as it did. after what happened though he lost his appetite. so instead of going to the refectory he went to back to his room and plopped himself back on the bed like he was before. the stinging sensation in his forearm resurfaced and he lifts his sleeve up to read. 

I wonder if he’s okay.

beomgyu sucks his teeth wondering why his soulmate had sat and watched the incident occur instead of helping him. Or preventing it from happening even. This is why he didn’t care much for a soulmate. He thought the only thing they’re good at is thinking. he withdrew his soiled jacket and he turns over in fetal position, ignoring the fact that he still hadn’t put his sheets on the bed yet and fell asleep anyways.

he hadn’t known how much he was tired though. by the time his eyes fluttered open the sky had darkened, and kai’s half of the room was already set up with posters on his wall, yellow and blue sheets on his bed, and his clothes folded neatly and put away. the room was dark but glowed a soft dark blue due to the string lights that kai had along the top borders of the walls. music was playing from somewhere though and beomgyu blinked again this time trying to find where it was coming from. he found kai sitting at his desk on his laptop, the soft + chill indie playlist was coming from his computer. 

beomgyu breathed. “kai? what time is it?”. he says groggily.

“hm? oh you’re up. it’s around 8pm or so. you missed dinner so I brought some back to the room for you. It’s on your desk”. 

beomgyu was grateful, as soon as kai mentioned dinner his stomach practically wanted to bite him. “god you’re a lifesaver thank you”.

he got up and approached his desk clutching the container, “what is it?”. 

“Steak, mashed potatoes with gravy and snow peas”.

immediately upon opening beomgyu grabs a fork and shoves a piece of steak in his mouth and sighs in relief. he was starving. he hadn’t eaten all day. 

“Is your jaw alright? What happened in the refectory today?”.

beomgyu sighs before sitting at his desk across from kai. 

“yeah I’m fine. the medi rubbed some chocolate magic oil on me. But that little son of a bitch taehyun threw his food all over the back of my jacket. On purpose”.

Kai furrows his eyebrow, “the medi rubbed chocolate magic oil on you?”. 

“yeah”.

“And then what?”. 

beomgyu thought for a moment trying to figure out what the younger was getting at. once it came to mind he grabbed one of his salt packets and playfully launched it at kai’s head. kai laughed in response and dodged it. he dodged it way too late though. 

“It wasn’t like that”, beomgyu starts, “he only rubbed it on my jaw. plus that medi wizard is old as hell”. 

“for all I know you could be one of those people who likes when old men rub oil on you”.

beomgyu chuckles and clutches his plastic knife in launching position. “you say another fucking word heuning and I will dart this at your eye”.

kai chuckles again. “Anyway. taehyun was probably just trying to get revenge”.

“revenge for what? the train thing was an accident. that kid is insane”. beomgyu sits his bowl down eyeing kai’s laptop. “what are you doing online anyway? classes aren’t until tomorrow morning”.

“our class schedules were posted. you should check yours to see if we have classes together”.

“I will after I take a shower or something. I think that breakfast food settled into my clothes a little”. beomgyu pulls up his collar and sniffs, crinkling his nose at the weird scent. 

“I think now is a good time. earlier when I went it was a bit crowded”. 

beomgyu huffed and looked through his luggage to find his pajamas and toiletries. he threw a towel over his shoulder and promised kai his return. It was weird being away from home. I mean it was college, of course it’s what beomgyu expected but he wasn’t expecting all of it to happen so soon. it was what his mother wanted for him. 

beomgyu was coming near the bathrooms and he was happy to hear how empty it was. well, he thought it was empty. he strolled inside, hearing quite a few voices and laughter. he immediately stopped in his tracks though when he spotted taehyun in the wide bathroom mirror in front of the sinks, shaving his face with a towel wrapped around his waist. beomgyu immediately stood back by the wall near the entrance where taehyun couldn’t see him. 

it wasn’t like he was afraid. but it was late and he didn’t feel like dealing with taehyun’s shit right now. it had been a long day, only the first day in fact. He couldn’t afford any deductions this soon. 

beomgyu stepped up inch by inch, peeking over the other side of the wall. he saw taehyun’s wet black strands of hair falling over his forehead. he was focused, in the mirror trying to shave as much as he could. beomgyu’s eyes fall onto the younger’s arms and body. his abs were chiseled and he built quite a bit of muscle in his biceps from what beomgyu could tell, they were glistening every single time taehyun shook the can of shaving cream. beomgyu curses at himself. 

fuck. why is he so good looking?

Beomgyu places his head back on the other side of the wall where taehyun couldn’t see him. He decided to get a towel and throw it over his head just to get himself safely to a stall. although he looked like an idiot, his plan worked and he was sure to lock the stall behind himself and immediately stripped himself of his clothes. 

taehyun ran the razor underneath the warm water. he felt that sensation again. The one he felt earlier with the feeling of something inscribing itself on his skin. he glanced at his forearm to read, 

fuck. why is he so good looking?

taehyun laughs a little to himself.  he looked around at the few guys that were in the bathroom. most of which were either talking to their friends or in the shower stalls but neither was paying him any mind. he didn’t want a soulmate but he also thought the little aggression in his soulmate’s tone was kind of cute. maybe it wasn’t so bad not knowing who his soulmate was. 

he goes back to shaving and looking at himself in the mirror, thinking about the message on his forearm over again. 

*********

“You look fine hyung, really”. Kai tried to encourage, but beomgyu wasn’t having it. He could feel his body growing hot inside the uniform and to make matters worse, he looked too preppy for his liking. He stood in the mirror, tugging on the collar of his button down with disgust. 

“Why does it have to look like this?”. 

Kai clutches the notebooks in his hand, “it’s school orders to wear our uniforms to each class or it’s a deduction. And speaking of, being late for class is a deduction also. So you might want to put your shoes on”. 

“Shit”. Beomgyu grumbles, clutching a shoe off the ground and trying his best to quickly shove it over the heel of his foot. “I’ve already got several warnings. Hey what class do you have first?”.

“I’m in the philosophy building. What about you?”. 

“Damn it. I have alchemy”. Beomgyu shoots up after he was finished, taking another glance at himself in the mirror before swinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I look like an idiot. But whatever”. 

Kai laughs and opens the door, “let’s go”.

Parting ways with kai was kind of hard, beomgyu will admit. He wasn’t fond of making friends on his own. If it was up to him he’d rather talk to kai for all of his years enrolled. He didn’t mind kai being his only friend. Anyways though, it took him a good amount of time to even find the alchemy wing, much less arriving on time. And  professor harlow made that known as soon as beomgyu walked in. wasn’t scribbling on the chalkboard, no-- rather the chalk was scribbling for her while she leaned on her desk and took sips of her black coffee. 

“you’re late mr. choi. had trouble finding the room?”. 

Shit. beomgyu thought if he said nothing and just kept walking it would keep her from speaking to him. But no, of course she discussed it out in the open and everyone’s eyes were on him now. 

“yeah sorry about that. gonna try and be earlier tomorrow”. 

Beomgyu quickly informed as he kept walking to the back of the room where the empty seats were. He wanted the interaction to be over with as soon as possible. 

“In Alchemy we have labs and lab question discussions. Everyone is assigned to a three person group. Mr. choi you’ll be in group #4”.  

Beomgyu took a breath and searched around the table numbers. A solemn feeling of relief washed over him once he found that it was on the other side of the room, he probably was looking like an idiot in front of everyone. He pulled out his chair and threw his backpack down, nodding at his tablemates. It was only a matter of time before professor harlow began speaking again, laying out the rules and expectations of the class. The pink haired boy held his hand out to beomgyu with a small smile, 

“What up. I’m yeonjun”. He whispers. 

The blue haired boy beside him held his hand out also, chewing on a snack he snuck in. 

“I’m soobin”. 

Beomgyu nods and shakes both of their hands firmly. He didn’t understand why they were so fond of handshakes at a young age. I mean, he didn’t want them to jump into an extravagant hug or anything but gosh, It felt like he was greeting a professor or something.

“I’m beomgyu”. 

Yeonjun nods. “how are you doing? I’m sorry about taehyun the other day”. 

Beomgyu rolls his eyes at the reminder. “It’s alright I’m fine, thanks for asking’. 

“yeah he’s a little hot tempered. Don’t worry about him though. We’re going to do our best to keep him cordial with you in this class”. Soobin adds. 

Beomgyu could almost snap his pencil in half with his hand. “he’s in this class?”. 

Yeonjun turns a little and points his head in Taehyun's direction. beomgyu’s eyes followed and he saw tahyun seated with his own tablemates, highlighting due dates on the syllabus. By that gesture alone beomgyu already knew what type of student taehyun was. And he always hated those types of students. The know-it-alls.

Beomgyu annoyingly shook his head, making a pft noise before turning his attention back to the chalkboard. “this is going to be such a shitty year”. he told himself, frankly not caring if the others heard him or not. whether or not they heard him throughout class, all he could hear was them. each and every day they were consistently arguing back and forth over stupid things. most of which beomgyu tried to ignore for the most part. but it was hard to get a lab done when his partners just wanted to get on each other’s last nerve. maybe this is why they repeatedly failed alchemy.

“I totally won that bet. hand over the cash soobin”. 

“no because you didn’t win”. 

“yes I did. I won it fair and square and you know it”.

“you always want to win everything hyung. how about you learn to lose sometimes?”.

beomgyu shook his head and adjusts his safety goggles and lab coat, placing the beaker full of liquid on the weighing scale and recording the data on the sheet of paper. he hadn’t known making potions would be exactly like chemistry. he was never particularly good at chemistry but since yeonjun and soobin were no help he had no choice but to put his own skills to the test. 

“that’s why I can’t play these types of games with you soobin. you’re a sore fucking loser”. 

“I’m not you’re just a big brat who thinks he needs to win every possible thing in life”. 

looking right past them two though beomgyu glances over at taehyun who was at the other table across from him, of course doing the lab as he was told. he was talking to his group mates and for some reason a tinge of jealousy stained beomgyu’s heart. 

beomgyu hadn’t realized that his thought provoked an inscription in taehyun’s forearm.  he faltered a little while pouring the bits of sodium in the hydro flask before turning away to check the message. 

I hate the fact that I’m so jealous of everyone who has access to you

access to your humor , your friendship, your heart. 

possessiveness comes so easy for me I feel like you’re mine.

taehyun’s cheeks tinted and his heart flutters in a way he never felt before. He decides to continue with the lab experiment so his groupmates wouldn’t question him about anything. He couldn’t help but to think of it over and over. before thinking of something else.

I am yours. always and forever, sweetheart.

“they called you sweetheart? that’s so cute!”. Kai jeers at the dinner table, making the boys around him look at him a little oddly. Beomgyu rolls his eyes and spreads the butter on his piece of bread. “Stop it kai. It isn’t that serious. And I also think you’re glowing a little”. Beomgyu said the last part rather quietly. Kai settles himself and smooths his hands over his hot reddening cheeks. He couldn’t wait to learn more magic so he could control it a lot better. 

“I’m sorry I just got a little excited. You should be excited though. who knows what can happen. Maybe you’ll fall in love”. 

“pft I will not”. 

“ I think you will. especially since you’ve never been in love before”. 

beomgyu takes a pause before chewing into the buttered bread. “wait--how do you know that?”. 

“oh um well it’s another hury trait of mine. we know a lot about the lives of different humans”. 

“so you’re telling me you knew who I was this whole time?”.

“yeah but i know everyone. everyone just doesn’t know me”.

beomgyu chews on a sweet potato fry. he glanced over kai’s features, thinking the boy was way too innocent for his own good. 

“have you ever been in love before kai?”. 

“yeah but I think it was one sided. I hope to find true love someday”. 

beomgyu smiled a little to himself, sliding his arm around kai’s shoulders. “you will. don’t worry. for now we can have fun and fool around until then”. 

kai’s heart grew warm and beomgyu could tell he was a happy about the gesture, his face started glowing again. 

“thank you hyung”. 

“so like are you guys dating?”. beomgyu heard someone ask from the other side of him.  he turns to look and by the boy’s face he could see that the ginger haired boy wasn’t genuinely curious at all.  he looked as though he was on the verge of laughter, like someone sent him to their table as a joke. 

“why the hell do you care? who even are you?”. beomgyu rebuttals.

“just wanted to tell you that you guys look cute together”. The boy adds, cupping his hand over his lips to keep from laughing. kai didn’t like feeling like this. he hated the feeling of becoming angry. it was a feeling his fae family had felt way too often, they were evil creatures and kai didn’t want to be that way. 

“go away”.  kai mumbled underneath his breath in a tone that beomgyu had never heard out of him before. it was dark and didn’t sound good at all. the boy stands up, making a scene. 

“or what? no one is scared of you, softie. you look soft you can’t be a wizard or a mage. what the hell are you? a fairy?”. 

at the sound of that word almost everyone around them dropped their jaws and stared, just waiting to see what kai’s reaction was going to be. and by this time kai’s face grew hot but it didn’t glow. this time it was almost crimson red.  he reaches his hand over and pulls the boy by his collar. the boy’s heart dropped at the sight of kai’s pupils growing larger, and not in a cute way. no, kai’s eyes had become all black. 

“offuco”. he growls, with pixie dust flowing from his mouth and into the boy’s. and sure enough the command did exactly as kai expected, the dust sneaking into the boys throat made him choke to the floor. his neck and face had begun to turn red, so much that his friends had to practically drag him to the medi wing. 

beomgyu’s heart was pounding and he was terrified. So was everyone around him who had now turned around back to their tables, not wanting to partake in anything else. beomgyu swallows with his eyes peering over at kai. he looked much more normal and his pupils even decreased in size. the red in his face had seized and his milky skin was arriving again. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I have to go— take my meds or something”. he quickly clutches his backpack and makes his way out before beomgyu could even say his next word. dinner wouldn’t be anything without kai though and he truly felt bad for him. he didn’t want to just sit and eat alone not knowing what was possibly running through the boy’s mind. so beomgyu grabs his backpack too and takes an early exclusion from dinner. 

he trudges down the hallway cursing at himself for taking this way. to his luck taehyun, soobin and yeonjun were all standing by the vending machines at the end of the hall. he needed to get to kai though and this was the quicker option. he sucked up his pride and tried not to make eye contact but of course yeonjun had something to say anyways. 

“beomgyu? what’s up”.

shit. 

“yeah what’s up gyu. I’m going to try to work on the lab questions tonight. I feel sorry that we didn’t do the experiment”. Soobin adds. 

beomgyu shrugs. “yeah it’s alright. I’ll try to work on them too”. 

Yeonjun nods, “later on we’re having some drinks in my room if you want to stop by”. 

taehyun glares at the pink haired boy. 

“what? he can come along if he wants”. 

“no he can’t. him and his weird ass boyfriend can stay where they are”. 

“oh shut the fuck up taehyun”. beomgyu harshly replied. 

“you shut the fuck up. I can say what I want to say. you’re not coming”. 

“tyun relax a little”. soobin warned, eyeing Cyprus who was already down the hallway. 

“don’t mind him he’s just being an ass. you can come if you want”. yeonjun continues. 

“no thank you. I don’t want to go to a place where I’m not invited by everyone”.

“so keep walking then”. taehyun adds with his arms folded. 

beomgyu shoves him back into the vending machine.“you fucking have issues”. taehyun gets off of it getting ready to shove him back but yeonjun acts as a safeguard once again, preventing anything else. 

“guys. relax alright? you both aren’t going to be practicing shit but detention if you’re just going to fight all the time”. 

“fuck that. fuck him. I have to go”. beomgyu snatches yeonjun’s hand off his chest before continuing the walk back to his room. 

he knocks, barely hearing anything before he walks in. he was happy to see Kai sitting on the edge of his bed with a pill bottle in his hand and a bottle of water. he looked normal for the most part, just a little spaced out. which is completely normal after the episode that just occurred.

“you alright kai?”. beomgyu asks, shutting the door behind him. 

“I’m okay hyung. I'm sorry about earlier”. 

“you don’t have to apologize for your traits. stop doing that. I’m your friend and I just want to learn more about you”. beomgyu takes a seat on his own bed, rubbing his hands on his slacks. “so what was that?”. 

“remember when I told you everyone thinks that fairies dance in glitter and glow in happiness?”. 

beomgyu nods. “yeah?”. 

“fairies are evil hyung. and the worst thing you could ever do is use the word fairy as an insult to any of us. and some fairies don’t like being called that”. 

beomgyu’s eyes widened. It scared him a little. “so what are you called?”. 

“we’re called the good people”.

“geesh kai. I wish that boy knew that. you practically choked him to death without even touching him. I think next time I have alchemy I’ll try my best to make a potion for that. that was kind of cool”. beomgyu laughs a little in attempt to lighten the mood. kai smiles a little along with him. 

“don’t use your magic to hurt people. I didn’t want to do that but I was angry and evil magic is the only thing I was really taught when I was younger”.  

“It’s alright. that’s what we’re here for. to get our magic under control.”

“you’re right. thanks hyung. well thanks for checking on me”. 

“no problem. I was trying to get here faster but I almost faught taehyun’s dumb ass again”.

“Again?”.

“he’s such a bitch kai. you out of all people should know that. yeonjun invited me for drinks in their dorms or whatever— and taehyun got all defensive saying that I couldn’t come”.

“drinks? you should’ve gone and had fun with the third years”. 

“without you? If I would’ve gone tonight you would’ve been coming with me”.

this was true. If beomgyu had gone he would’ve bought kai along. but taehyun knew if beomgyu tagged along he didn’t know what would come out his mouth while he was drunk. perhaps he would’ve admitted everything he thought about him. and he couldn’t afford for beomgyu to know any of that.  he hated him yet he was attracted to him all at once. this is what mainly had his heart racing as soon as beomgyu walked through the door. 

“gyu! wassup man”. yeonjun for some reason yelled a little louder than he intended. there weren’t many people in the third year suite drinking along with them but it was quite enough. more than beomgyu or kai been around at least. the room was dimly lit and there was music playing amongst the chatter between the boys in the room. 

“what’s up. I bought heuning with me”. 

“that’s no problem I’m glad you came. thought you were going to ditch us after you were about to beat taehyun’s ass”. 

Beomgyu swatted his hand as if to discard the statement. “never mind that shit. we’re just here to experience the fun with third years”. 

a drunk soobin immediately pushes a bottle of whiskey to kai’s chest. “let the fun begin”. 

and truly beomgyu wasn’t expecting kai to drink as much as he did. beomgyu drank a little, but not out of control. he was too busy laughing at the piss poor job the third years were doing at karaoke. kai was too, he was laughing so hard on the ground next to him that his face flushed pink. 

taehyun had been on the other side of the room talking amongst his other group of friends, eyeing beomgyu every chance he got. he didn’t want him here but he was too drunk and weak to do anything about it. especially when beomgyu locks eyes with him back, the both of them stared each other down for what seemed to be five minutes before they nervously looked elsewhere. 

If only you knew how pretty you are to me.

taehyun’s drunk thoughts were scrawled across beomgyu’s arm. to which beomgyu slides his sleeves down and tries to hide the blush in his cheeks. 

If the sun could laugh or smile I’m sure it would look a lot like yours. stunning, and it takes my breath away.

I know I can’t have you 

and I hate the fact that a small piece of me wishes that I could 

I’ve grown weak for you and It feels like I’ve known you before. It feels like I’ve loved you before. 

and the more taehyun watched him laugh and smile he realized it was true. he did. he loved beomgyu so much. and when beomgyu locked himself in a bathroom stall just to read the numerous tattoos all over his body he had realized he loved them too. whoever his soulmate was, he was in love. and he couldn’t help it.

[pitaparka]

don’t you wish

request: ur writing is so good i love ur fics :’) can u do a confessing feelings kiss with jj summary: jj is really upset you’re going to college. you hold him before you go. pairing: jj maybank x reader

word count: 1.4k warnings: sadness, fluff, reader getting ready for college a/n: this was really sweet to write. thank you for the request! keep em coming yall! Slowly but surely i will get to them all :) big love.

You didn’t want to chase him. He was being dramatic.

It would have been so much easier to let him go. To let him storm off.

But having that be the last time you see him before going off to college for the rest of the year? Not happening.

“Jay,” you call out, chasing him out the back door to John B.’s place. He wouldn’t care if you two were there when he was at work.

“Just fuck off. Go get ready.”

“I don’t want to leave you like this,” you say, and he stops.

“If you didn’t want to leave, you wouldn’t. You obviously want to go.”

“I have to go to college. What am I gonna do if I stay here? Mow lawns for kooks for the rest of my life, JJ—”

“The fuck is wrong with that? That’s probably what’s gonna happen to me! So what’s so bad about that—”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, I just—”

“What’s so bad about staying together, huh? What’s so bad about being with your friends?”

“We’re teenagers, JJ! Do you really think…” You shouldn’t say what you’re thinking, not out loud.

“Think what?

You avoid his gaze. He’s fuming, hard lips and flared nostrils and really, really red ears.

“You think we’re gonna stay together for the rest of our lives, JJ?” You whisper.

You look up at him with sad eyes.

He shakes his head, a sad grin on his face.

“Wow. Alright. Tell me how you really feel—”

“No, you know what I’m saying,” you say, stepping closer to him.

“If you’re saying that you don’t think we could make it, you don’t think we could be friends for the rest of our lives just because you’re moving away to your fancy college, yeah. I do know what you’re saying. And I—I don’t fucking agree.”

“Don’t do this, JJ…”

Your shoulders feel heavy. There’s a knot in your stomach.

“Fuck, don’t you get it?”

“Obviously not, JJ! So why don’t you just tell me about it, instead of—”

“—You’re all I fucking have! I love you! Okay?” He turns from you with fervor and runs his hands through his hair before bringing them to rest on his hips, letting out a sigh and bringing eyes to the sky like he was asking for a reason this all was happening.

“JJ,” you say softly, “you know I love you too.”

He lets out a humorless laugh.

“And you know we can’t, because of—”

“—No pogue on pogue, right, and I don’t want to be the one who messes this up, because I fuckin’ mess everything up! God, dammit!”

You don’t know what to say. He’s so frustrated he collides his foot with a tree, bark flaking off the old oak, with it’s long curly limbs, having been around since you became friends. You used to climb that tree all the time, sit under that tree, sheltering yourselves from the hundred degree weather, talking about how you would build a tree-house with your own bare hands, just the five of you—The Pogues.

How your heart aches for a simpler time, where summer meant tubes of flavored ice and endless cartoons and learning to swim under the hot North Carolinian sun. Where summer didn’t mean you packing up your things and applying to colleges and trying to spend time with your friends who were always busy with jobs or scholarships, supporting themselves full time at sixteen years old. It hurt. Your face stings with unshed tears and you don’t want this to be the last time you see JJ. The last memory you make with him before you go off to some fancy college up North and never come back to the Outer Banks.

You come up from behind him and wrap your arms around him, resting your head on his back. He doesn’t know whether to pull away or lean into it, so he tenses up under your touch.

“You’re the one I go to, man…” he whimpers.

You hold him a little bit tighter.

“You… you help me out. You’re the one who… what am I gonna do without you?”

You two listen to the birds in the trees and feel the warmth of each other.

You pull away after a minute, and your eyes dart around the place before you meet him. His eyes are glossy and dangerously full.

“I don’t want you to leave us,” he mumbles, and his face scrunches up like he’s trying not to cry, but a single perfect tear runs down his cheek. He goes to wipe it away with the back of his hand, but you beat him to it.

He sniffs loudly, hands by his side as you caress his cheeks with your thumbs, wiping away tears and as soon as his eyes become too intense, the sadness there palpable in the atmosphere, you rest your forehead on his cheek, and he cries.

You can’t help but plant soft, inaudible kisses to his face, where the tears are. You bury your nose into his neck and feel your own tears, hot on your cheeks, soak into his shirt.

You pull back to rest your forehead against his, and he leans into you, making it easier.

But he keeps leaning in. And keeps leaning in. Until there’s nowhere else to go, but you don’t really want to be anywhere else and his lips are so close and he smells like honey and boy cologne and mint so you close your eyes and kiss him.

His lips are salty from the tears, but there are nerves in your lips you’ve never felt before. JJ cups your face and you cup his and he’s crying and you’re crying and you never want the kiss to end.

There’s pressure and warmth and butterflies that are landing and taking off in your stomach because this is JJ, your JJ, the same JJ you grew up with and teased and cried to and laughed with. The boy you love more than anything. The boy you would do anything for.

You wish you could preserve the memory of kissing JJ, his skin wet and lips raw from all the biting he does to them.

It’s hard to pull away from him, knowing it would be the last time. You rest your head on his shoulder and he holds you tighter than he’s ever held you before in his life. Harder than the time you broke your arm riding his bike. Harder than the first time his dad hit him. Harder than when you came back from your first vacation away from him. Harder than the time you had your first breakup. Harder than the time you found out you had gotten into the college of your dreams.

You count down from 10 in your head, and when you reach zero, it’s over. He lets out a shaky breath and wipes the remaining tears from his face before he shoves his hands into his pockets.

You both smile sadly, you down at his shoes, but he’s smiling at you, his eyes glossy. He wants to never forget this moment between you two. He can only hope you’ll come back for him, come back for your childhood friends. Your home. Your boys (and girl).

“I guess this is it,” he says, finally.

You try to look him in the eye, but you notice something.

There’s a single eyelash on his cheek.

“Wait,” you say, and pick it up for him.

“Make a wish,” you encourage, holding it in front of his face.

He looks between you and the eyelash.

Usually he doesn’t believe in that type of thing.

Though instead of his usual protest, he surprises you.

He closes his eyes, and makes his wish, blowing the eyelash off your thumb.

He opens his eyes, smiling.

“D’you know... do you want to know what I wished for?” He asks. He pulls you into his chest and tears start to well up in your eyes again.

“No,” you laugh, sniffling, “Then it won’t come true, dummy.”

“I don’t care if it comes true or not… I know it’s going to come true.”

“I don’t want to know your wish!” You cry into his shoulder. You feel him shudder with laughter.

He traces patterns on your back, his head resting on your shoulder, his ear pressed up against yours, his clean shaven face pressing into your jaw.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, JJ.”

[tar-oh]

Pick a Pile: Who has a crush on you?

So, confession time. I’ve had this sitting in my drafts for about a month or so. The reason for not posting it until now is that a lot of the piles felt very similar to other piles? But, now that I think about it, it could just be that some people are called to more than one pile and they’re continuations or something along that line? Either way, they all blend a little, which was so weird to me. So, I am finally posting it. I thought it would be a cute fun little read, but it just became a little confusing towards the last few piles. Also, I’m not sure how comfortable I feel tapping into that kind of energy. I think it’s one thing to ask what’s coming towards you in love vs. who has a crush on you because then there’s like that whole consent thing. But, I already did the piles, and my reservations about it didn’t really pop up until the last two piles. It felt wrong to have spent so much time on 6 piles and not post it? Plus, with Valentines day coming up and my own love life being as dry as possible, I thought it would be fun to get nosy about your love lives! So I do plan on doing some more love-themed readings within the next week or so (HOPEFULLY! My second semester of school started this week, but I’m working on balancing school and my life outside of it!). SO. Choose a pile 1-6 below. Each is represented by some good looking gentleman (or lady) from some period piece. There’s no connection to the characters to the piles outside of just being shows/movies I enjoy. If you’d like a private reading, DM me! Tips are also appreciated (but obviously not necessary). cashapp $sararms paypal: paypal.me/sararms  Another thing to note is that I really ask you to only take what resonates. There’s no way I can get every story possible within 6 readings, so there may only be bits here and there for you, for others there may not be anything that resonates. So, please be discerning. As I said, if you’d like a private reading, please DM me. Also, I gotta apologize, since I had started this nearly a month ago, there’s an obvious difference in the pictures of the cards because I’ve since gotten a new phone that takes way better pictures. But the layout, on the other hand, has no excuse... ANYWAY HERE ARE THE PILES:

1) Jem Merlyn (Jamaica Inn) 2) Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) 3) Emma Woodhouse (Emma 2020) 4) Jo March (Little Women 2019) 5) Ross Poldark (Poldark) 6) Simon Basset (Bridgerton)

Pile 1: (Jem Merlyn)

cards: Peacock, 8 of swords, 3 of cups rx, 4 of wands, juno, hygeia, psyche First, I have to say that I have a feeling that this person feels you left them. I'm not sure what the context of that is, but from the song lyrics in Downfall by Matchbox Twenty ("If I could go back, would you have ever been with me?"), and then as I started thinking about that, the song Promises by Aly and Aj came on and there's a line in this song about how there is nothing left there anymore.  "Guess I'll go back, guess I'll go home now. Gotta turn around, there's nothing here for me now", which, MOOD to be honest lol. So, it's like, maybe you left something behind, whether it be a home (like a city or a residence?), maybe a job? Something about you left and this person just feels that it's...Not over, but like, that there's something that's changed that will either make things harder or impossible? Also, on the bottom of my lyric deck there was the song Riptide by Vance Joy, at the part where he sings "I just wanna, I just wanna know if you're gonna, if you're gonna stay." So, maybe you're thinking about leaving something? A job? A relationship? I don't know, but that's what I'm getting. There’s something about leaving here, either way. Another thing I'm getting is that I feel that this is a little more than a crush. Or at least, I think they just feel a lot for you. Like, maybe you've taken up their brain space or something, especially since the song Eat, Sleep, Wake (Nothing But You) came on. It's basically about getting someone stuck in your head, so like no matter what you do, they show up in your thoughts. So, I definitely think you've done a number on them. Oh! "I may not say it outwardly, so all I have are memories. Those looks from at the start." I feel like this is definitely someone who is really into you but they haven't told you so - but I think you may get this feeling (like maybe you catch them staring from across the room or something, and with peacock, I feel like they don't even act embarrassed if you catch them). I'm getting a bit of regret with this, especially with 3 of cups reversed and 8 of swords. 8 of swords is almost always about someone who is stuck in their head about something. They're overthinking things and cannot see a way forward, so maybe this person feels like it's almost futile having a crush or feelings for you? I do wonder if for some, the 3 of cups reversed suggests that maybe they think you two are too different? But, then there's the 4 of wands, and these people on this card look really in love and its about balance and harmony...so, maybe they see you as someone they wouldn't mind ending up with, despite differences? But this is about WHO has a crush on you, so I want to describe them a bit for you. So, I pulled the peacock card for you. It's funny because the deck kept spitting out too many cards and when I finally said "only one please" it spit this one out. This is funny to me, because one of the ones I actually noticed that had fallen out before was one with a peacock. I personally have been kind of...haunted by them as of late, so I'm going to notice when they're present. I made note of it, shuffled and then pulled the actual peacock card. When I think of peacocks, I think of the way they strut around. Obviously, when we think of them, we think of how the male peacocks have those beautiful colors on their feathers. So, I think this is someone who stands out. I do also think they may have a certain walk to them, but I don't think they're exaggerating. I think they just...Are that way? Like, they don't have to try hard to get people to notice them, they're just naturally in the spotlight. For some, it could be someone that is kind of show-offy. But, I really don’t get that feeling. Moving on to the tarot, the 8 of swords tells me this person is in their head a lot. I already established you're one of those things in their head, but I also think there's a lot of other things they may overthink. They definitely could be someone who's just an anxious being - I almost feel that Hygeia supports that idea since it can be about your body and your health. The deck's booklet suggests that depending on the placement one has, it can lead to being a hypochondriac, so maybe they're just a giant worry-wart? With the 3 of cups reversed, I get a few things. There's one where it could be either 1 of 2 ways: the first being that maybe they're someone that parties a lot? Like, an excessive amount - and I'm only saying that because it's reversed. The other thought is that this person's kind of a kill-joy, like maybe they don't really have fun at all. Maybe they work too much or something? But I don't think that's it, because to me 4 of wands suggests that overall they're pretty balanced, so I'm thinking that this could be another possibility. One might be they just like to stay at home, like they're a lone wolf?  Another one, I'm just letting this idea flow to me, is that maybe they're just super argumentative, and maybe that's what it's in reverse. Maybe you two argue a lot or they just like to start debates or something along those lines? I usually wouldn’t get that for 3 of cups, but that just came to my mind so I’m sure it’s for someone. Since I'm reading for a lot of people, I feel like there are just a lot of possibilities for these. And with the astrology cards, I only was able to pull asteroids, no signs or houses or planets. So, this makes me think a lot of people are choosing this pile, so pointing out possible astrological placements may not help you guys. But, if you want to know, I see air, water and fire with the tarot alone, and the bottom of the astrological deck was pisces, so that might be for someone. I do feel like this person has more of a balanced set of placements, so for example their sun moon and rising may not be in the same element, and maybe things balance them out. But with the overthinking element, I do wonder if there's a lot of air in their chart. I did mention that Hygeia was about the body and it can also be about hygiene, so I get that this person is just super clean? And, by that I mean, it's super noticeable. Maybe you notice that they smell like a specific soap or if they're someone that might grow facial hair, they keep it well-trimmed, or shaven completely. Their hair is probably kept nicely (like all pieces are in place), their clothes probably neat and never rumpled. Like, that kind of a person? Hygeia also focuses on how we treat our bodies, so...This almost makes me think back to how I mentioned excessive partying with the 3 of cups being reversed? I think they try to take care of themselves, but there might be a bad habit they have, like smoking or drinking more than they know they should. I don't get any huge red-flags about it, so take what resonates. Juno can talk about partnerships and what one's ideal partner is like, so I think this just says that one of you views the other as the ideal partner. I say one of you, because I was going to say they view you this way, but it's about WHO has a crush on you, so I do wonder if this is a two-way street here? Like, I think you may have a crush on them too, in which case, you're probably going to notice what they smell like lol. This could also suggest that they have boundaries that are clear to you and everyone else. So, maybe they're in the spotlight, but they only let people in so close? Like, they’re pretty selective about it? I think this person also comes off as being super empathetic and sensitive to people and their energies. The Psyche card can talk about this, so I think maybe they're someone who can just tell in an instant if you're just not feeling right? This could be why they hold boundaries - maybe sometimes they just get overwhelmed from how other peoples emotions make them feel? One of the lyrics I pulled for this pile was from Tiger's Jaw's song, Divide. The line goes: "You are drowning, it's in your eyes." - That line makes me think about someone who's extra sensitive to other people, and maybe also someone who has a lot of thoughts and emotions themselves. The bottom deck energy being Pisces makes me think of that too, especially because Pisces is a water sign (so, emotions), and the sign is 2 fish, so again, water - drowning. It's possible this person has a lot of emotions but no way to express them (8 of swords) so in return it feels a bit like their head is a prison? I'm not really getting much else about this person. I almost feel like this is just a sign that I should take to tell you that I think this is all you need to know? Like, I think, like I said earlier, you kind of had a feeling this person had a crush on you anyway. So, maybe this is more just a confirmation for you? Either way, I think this should be enough for you to know who I'm talking about. Oh! One thing, though, is that I think both of you, even though you both get the feeling that the other likes you, don't think it's possible? I just got that at the beginning because Movement's cover of Loosing my Religion came on first, and that song is basically about unrequited love. So, I think the 3 of cups reversed could also just be about miscommunication, or at least,  misinterpreting actions and words on both sides? I don't know, something to think about. Music: losing my religion - cover by Movements promises - aly & aj downfall - matchbox twenty divide - tigers jaw riptide - vance joy eat, sleep, wake (nothing but you) - bombay bicycle club Pile 2: (Anne Shirley)

cards: queen of wands, ace of cups, queen of swords, elixir, anne carson (intellect), venus, 1st quarter moon, solar eclipse So, you got Queen of Wands AND Queen of Swords, AND Queen of Pentacles was on the bottom of the deck. So, there is a possibility that this is more than one person. For the sake of not confusing myself, I'm going to read this like one person, so, there's a possibility that you could possibly pick out multiple people being described. Or, if you felt called to another pile, maybe check it out to see if that can give you any more clarity. Remember! Take what resonates! Whoever this is THEY ARE SMART. And I don't just mean book-smart, I just mean INTELLIGENT. I got both the Anne Carson card AND Brainy by The National. The Anne Carson card's keyword is The intellect, and it talks about growing intellectually, but also the "delights of the mind", so I think this person also likes to pick other people's brains as a way to learn more about others and the world they're living in. I also think they're a student, and I mean, they could be any age, really. Like, maybe they're in graduate school or just still in High School. It could also just be that they’re not in school, but are just constantly seeking knowledge? So, maybe they read a lot of non-fiction? All I know is that this person being smart is probably something you've thought about, even if it's only a passing thought. Oh. But they're also maybe a little full of it, lol. (Full of It by DBMK came on, so!!!) Another thing is that the bottom deck energy for the astrology cards was Pallas Athena and that can talk about intelligence, so phew. Very smart. The venus card, to me, suggests that this is a really good looking person. Like, I don't want to say classically good-looking, but I think a lot of people notice this person. Also, Venus rules Taurus and Libra, and since you got Queen of Swords and Queen of Pentacles was on the bottom, I could definitely see this person having earth and air in their placements. But, kind of similar to what I saw in the first pile, I got a feeling of balance of placements (within the tarot I pulled, fire, water and air are present, plus bottom deck which was earth). So, like I also told the first pile, I think I'm reading for a lot of different situations, also if this is more than one person, the placements are going to be everywhere. I just want to say that you shouldn't get stuck on that, just take this as more of a confirmation if you already know their placements or something. First Quarter moon talks about transformation, so, maybe this is a very transformative person. Meaning, maybe they change their style a lot, or maybe they just seem to be changing a lot themselves? Solar Eclipse suggests something is being illuminated. So maybe they're someone that is really blunt? I think queen of swords definitely lends to this, because anyone in that energy can be seen as a very blunt person. I think they might be someone that says something that gets others thinking. Or, they have a way about explaining things that allows someone to see another side to things? The song Be Sensible by Jimmy Eat World came on, so I think this person is pretty logical and sensible, which is another Air-quality, so blunt, but logical. Like, they may not sugar-coat what they say, but they're also logical and see both sides of situations, in return, allowing you to see both sides to. To be honest, I feel like they're pretty sarcastic for some of you. And, I mean. The dryest of humor. The kind where you have to look up when they say something to see if they’re being serious or not, and sometimes it goes over some peoples heads. But, something tells me you’re able to translate it well. To be honest, I don’t think this person would have a crush on you if you couldn’t differentiate between their sarcasm and when they’re serious. So I said they were probably really blunt and logical, also possibly sarcastic. That's what I got from the Queen of Swords. From Queen of Wands, I also get that their really passionate. Like, I think this could be about anything? Maybe just life! But, I think there's a certain amount of creativity this person holds, and I think them being super smart gives them an interesting perspective on whatever they create? Maybe they write poetry or lyrics. Maybe they paint? For some reason, I always get a painter from queen of wands. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagine someone with a huge paint brush lol Like, really, in my mind I'm seeing someone with a giant paint brush, so maybe this person really does paint. The ace of cups is interesting to me. I think this might just say that their in the beginning of something that's emotionally fulfilling? Like, maybe a new course or a new job? For some of them, they just found the path they want to take. I know that sounds random, but the song (jogging) by Jetty Bones came on and a lyric really stood out to me, "All along, I thought I knew, but I had no, no idea where I was going at all, so I was going and going and going and gone." So, maybe they felt like they were in this endless loop of life until recently something dawned on them and they took a new path, which ended up being something really fulfilling emotionally? This could also just be someone who is really open about their emotions. I'd say they sound really emotionally balanced. And, this ace of cups is a hand pouring liquid from one container to another, so maybe they also are someone with a lot of love to give? I was trying to figure out what Elixir meant in this context, but I forgot that the bottom deck energy for this pile in that deck was Ghost, which can mean unfinished business. So, possibly this is someone from your past? Or someone who just thinks your time together isn't over. So if for some reason this is someone and you know who it is and you haven't seen them in a while, they don't think it's over. They think you'll run into each other again, and maybe elixir is like you two getting drinks (could also be getting coffee lol) - the song Take Me by Aly and Aj came on, so!!! Maybe they want to take you on a date to get drinks!? (Ace of cups!?). For the lyrics, they definitely are wondering how you feel about them since I pulled Downfall by Matchbox Twenty (First pile got the same song, different lyrics), "I wonder what you think of me." So, they definitely aren't sure how you feel. However, I think they can have a big ego (I think I mentioned this earlier), because I also pulled the line "You might need me more than you think you do." from Brainy by The National, so I think they're someone who can sometimes feel a bit entitled to other people? If that's the case, I'd make sure you set good boundaries. I don't get a bad vibe but I get a cocky vibe and sometimes cocky people can be total assholes. Strong boundaries are good for this person, but if this is someone who you actually want to accept the cup from, than I wouldn't build the boundaries too high, ya know? Like, still be open, but also be careful. I just don't want someone to feel entitled to you guys, okay? That being said, I think they loose sleep over you lol, because bottom deck energy for the lyric cards is a song by Now, Now called Prehistoric (so, also, thinking about someone from your past? But also, maybe they're into history?), " I will trade this sleep for you in a heart beat." Maybe they dream a lot about you? Either way, I think they loose sleep over you, so I mean, if they are really cocky, that's kind of something to be proud of lol You managed to take up more space in their mind than they themselves took up (Yeah, I'm seriously getting a cocky, full of themselves energy from this person). Oh! I just noticed that there's like a shape coming out of the cup on the Elixir card, and it looks a bit like a ghost, so definitely unfinished business with someone. I don’t know! I get good vibes from them despite how cocky they feel. I think that may just have come across so strongly so that someone can possibly confirm who it is? Just, remember boundaries! Music: Downfall - Matchbox Twenty Brainy - The National (jogging) - Jetty Bones Take Me - Aly & Aj Pile 3: (Emma Woodhouse)

cards: 6 of swords, king of pentacles, 3 of swords, capricorn, scorpio, psyche, wolf, Flannery O'Connor (Humanity) I get this sense that this is someone who doesn't say much. Like, I think they speak only when they have something of value to say. I don't know, I just get that feeling because I pulled lyrics from the song The Silence by Manchester Orchestra. These lyrics don't suggest this, but I was thinking about the song title and the fact that I pulled the Wolf card too. I got the saying "lone-wolf" in my head with that. Also, with Scorpio and Capricorn, I get a strong energy from them but like both signs can be observational. I think Capricorns get pinned into this stereotype of being workaholics and super-materialistic, but at the root of it all, their earth signs, so they're still grounded and logical. Not in the sense of an air-signs logic, but like, I'd say understanding. Like, I think they feel more and think more than they let on, but they don't see much point in expressing those things, which is the exact energy I get from this person. I wonder if maybe they just have a hard time opening up? Also, the bottom deck energy for the tarot deck was The Emperor, and even though that's technically the Aries card, I definitely get like a Capricorn vibe from it too. Like, I do think they're good at controlling themselves. Like, their sense of self-control is GOOD. Maybe they're a little lost and having trouble with that right now, but I think normally this person is good at that. And for water signs, I view Scorpios as being a little more closed off. They're known for being extremely observational, but their observations are also fairly insightful. So, I bet this person has a lot they could say, but maybe they just don't deem it as worthy - or at least, not for everyone to hear. As though they don't open up to just anyone. I get a similar vibe in this pile to pile 1, so if you felt called to it, I’d check it out. With the tarot, I see that for some of you this is someone who is moving away from a job or something financial. I only say this because 6 of swords suggests moving away from something and 3 of swords suggests heartbreak, but with the king of pentacles (and even an earth sign like Capricorn falling out) I do wonder if this was job-related. Though, this could be someone who is getting over someone who is in the king of pentacles energy? I think they definitely could be moving away from heartbreak of some sort, whether it's finances or romance. But, along with that, I can also see 6 of swords being paired with Scorpio as being super transformational. Like, I think they know when they need to transform and go through those death/rebirths. Like when a change is needed. The 3 of swords could just say they've broken a few (or a lot) of hearts, and I'd say with both scorpio and capricorn present, they must be a pretty intense person, so heartbreak might be a common thing they cause. Or, they themselves have had many heart breaks. I think, mostly, though, what I get is that right now they're going through one. This could also be that they felt rejected by you at some point? Like maybe you rejected them, or it was vice versa and maybe they regret that? Either way, they're into you now.  Even if you turned them down or they turned you down, they're into you. I think they could be at a distance from you - whether physical or maybe they just can't get you alone? Or, just time with you in general? Because I pulled lyrics from Mat Beringer's song Distant Axis: "I feel like I'm as far as I can get from you." And if we pair that with the 6 of swords, I could see a distance. I'm not sure what category you fall under (the actual physical one, or the one where you two can't get time together), but they're feeling this. Oh, the song Seneca by Movements came on, and this song is about someone finding out that an Ex that they never quite got over is engaged, so I definitely wonder if for some this is an ex that never got over you. The song before it was Garden Eyes by the same band, and that one talks about staying in a situation you feel because you think it's the best there is for you. So, I do wonder if one of you is with someone else and there's pining? Also, while this person is intense, I do wonder if they have some intense self-worth issues. I also think that they have trouble with the world in general. Like, I think they see what's going on and aren't happy. I get that from the Humanity card, Flannery O'Connor's. This card has a peacock on it (again, check out pile one if you felt called to) Peacocks to me seem to demand attention, whether or not it's really what they want? Like, either way, you're going to see their colors, so I think this person could be someone that stands out to you - but maybe you also notice that they're kind of a loner too. Like, not quite, but definitely someone who isn't quite open to everyone. The Humanity card can talk about reckoning with failure. She's holding a broken egg (though it looks like it's bleeding), so I have to wonder if maybe they put their eggs all in one basket (so to speak...) and it failed them, and now they're having to deal with the fall out or regret. It can also talk about knowing oneself, so maybe it's also them being in a process of relearning who they are? So if we go off of my theory of them having to get through heartbreak and move on from something either financial or romance related, we could maybe assume that maybe they had started to build their identity off of this relationship or job? Maybe it consumed them to a point where they lost themselves in it but now they don't have it so they're just sitting there with that broken egg? OH! The wolf card can mean the self without others, so yeah. They definitely lost themselves within something for a bit. Maybe even within you? I'm not sure, I think there are a lot of different situations here. I do think they see you in a hopeful way though, like maybe them thinking about you gets them in a better mood? I think, like my comment about them having trouble with self-worth, I think they're just having a difficult time, and maybe they're trying hard to be grateful? I pulled the song, the Silence by Manchester Orchestra for you and the line I pulled was "Let me open my eyes and be glad that I got here." So, perhaps they're just going through a tough time and having trouble finding the good in the world. I also think with the Psyche card, they're pretty intuitive and empathetic, especially if they're a Scorpio or have that in any major placements, so It's definitely this thought in my mind of them kind of drowning in pain? I'm not sure, but I get sadness from them. An intense energy, but also an intense sad one. So, I guess if you know who they are, and you have feelings for them too, I'd give them some space to heal.  The bottom deck energy for the Literary Witch Oracle was Saphho's card, which has the keyword of Love, so I think it's a pretty big crush that they have. Another key saying for it is taking flight, so I think this person is moving on from whatever happened in the past, but I see it as a thick energy. Like, slow moving. Like, when you're trying to walk through water or snow? Just. Slow. The King of Pentacles in this deck has a turtle, so I'd definitely say slow...The last song that came on for you was Wake Me by Bleachers, and it's a pretty romantic song, so yeah. They like like you lol. Music: The Silence - Manchester Orchestra Distant Axis - Matt Beringer Seneca - Movements Garden Eyes - Movements Wake Me - Bleachers

Pile 4: (Jo March)

Cards:  wall, saphho, the fool, king of cups, page of cups rx, virgo, 1st house, hygea I think they're indecisive, I'll say that lol Lot's of cards that would flip and then flip back before I could grab them. So maybe in general they just have trouble making decisions or they're undecided about you. Like, they have a crush, but they're not sure how big it is or if they want to make a move? For some, how to make a move? Yeah, I did pull some lyrics from a song by Road Trip called Tokyo Hotel, "If I leave my love in your hands, tell me you'll keep it safe?" So, I do wonder if this person is just scared of being vulnerable, and so maybe they're going through a healing period and aren't able to make a move/don't feel capable so they're just kind of crushing on you from far away. I also pulled the song Shameless by All Time Low, which basically is just about how the narrator thinks this person is shameless: "You talk like you're famous. You're shameless," but I almost don't see this as a bad thing. Like I think they view you as someone who see's your self worth, so I'm reading this that way. So, wow, that first paragraph was so funny because I wrote that before I pulled the other cards? I pulled the lyric cards first, mostly because I felt called to, but I also was like "maybe this can give me the tone of this pile's reading?" And it sure did! Yes, this is someone who is currently healing. They have some high boundaries right now, I especially see that with the card "wall", so yes. They're very protective of themselves. I'd say they're guarding their heart pretty closely, and I think that Sappho (Love), and King of Cups is a dragon in front of that cup, looking a little fierce. Not really welcoming at all. Also, page of cups is reversed. That card came out sideways, and when I looked at it I really just felt that it was more reversed than anything? Like, I think they want to offer you a cup, like even that King looks a bit like he does, but there's just this sense of needing to protect themselves, so it's not offered. But I think a word that applies to this is yet, like they have the intention to - I definitely feel this, but they don't think now is a good time.  You did get Sappho, which the main keyword is love. So? I definitely think they have feelings for you and they definitely desire something with you, but not now? (Hey, on a side note, if you know who this is and also have feelings, please don't put your life on hold for them? I just felt the need to say that.) And maybe that's like on both sides, maybe they have some shit they're dealing with and maybe you do too. I accidentally wrote page of pentacles instead of cups when I was writing out the cards, and I do get that feeling here. I think they're starting something new like a new job/career or class while also healing themselves? So, it's just not a good time for them to start something else too. Especially because I feel like with the King of Cups they want to put effort into it, like the king is someone who is able to balance their emotions and think with their heart and their mind. Like, not rule quite as logically as the King of Swords, but there still is logic involved. Which brings me to the astrology cards. I pulled Virgo, which is so interesting to me. Lately I've been noticing how many similarities to Virgo that the sign Scorpio has? And I definitely get scorpio vibes with this pile despite not pulling anything that was like SUPER scorpio? Like, yes, cups are dominant here, so there's definitely water, But, outside of that, the only actual one that I'd say is Virgo for sure. However, we have the fool card here - I'm not going to get to this one quite yet, because I'm still kind of feeling that one out, but I can say that it's ruled by Uranus, which in return rules Aquarius. But, this person I think can be detached. I know that sounds weird, considering that I said I got watery Scorpio vibes (though, another thing to add is that this deck has chosen to use a siren for the fool card, so definitely WATER ), but I mean, I think with Virgo, Aquarius and Scorpio vibes, there's a HUGE analytical trait to this person. I think they observe and take in all of the little details. This could also be another reason why they're not making a move on you yet? I think there are a few more details they want to "smooth" over so to speak, but also a few more things they want to know about you. Also, bottom of the deck energy was Page of Swords, so more page activity. This, I think, is them watching you. Like, not in a creepy way. Just in a way to gather knowledge on how best to approach this? Going back to the fool, I think usually this is someone who does take chances. With the Virgo and Airy/Aquarius element, I think they think about these chances, like maybe even too much, but I think with that King of Cups and Page of Cups (even in the reverse), they still allow their heart to mingle in this logic? Maybe when they were younger they were impulsive, and over time they've learned to like, tame the impulsivity? It's funny because even though there's a page here, I don't think they're that young. Yes, some of them might be, but I think the majority of you that picked this pile are older? LIke 20s+? I said they have have started something new recently, and I think there are a few set backs within it, like maybe it's taken a while to get there. So, while they're a King of Cups, they're also a Page of Cups. Something about this crush on you also makes them feel inexperienced. Maybe, with past connections they liked to jump in right away (that fool card), but now they're...Not feeling so confident? Maybe, going back to the lyrics by All Time Low, they fear rejection from you? Bottom of the deck energy for the lyric deck was the song Flowerchild by Citizen with the line: "I don't know where I went wrong", so perhaps you've rejected them already? Or, there's a sense that if they offer something they won't be good enough for you? But...They're a king...I don't know! This person has some insecurities. Also, I think the wall card could indicate this as well? Like, this insecurities are obstacles. There also could be physical obstacles, like maybe it's just not possible for either of you to work it out right now, so maybe they're bidding their time? I have a lot of questions about this and I think this is mostly because I'm reading a lot of different situations, so if you feel like you recognize this energy, take what resonates. I have a song stuck in my head called Intuition by The Backseat Lovers, and I didn't want to mention it because I thought it was mostly just me, but it didn't really get stuck in my head until I started this pile. Also, I couldn't hear the lyrics or remember which song it was until right when I wrote "resonates". The lyrics I hear are "Call it intuition..." so, I think for some of you this is resonating. Like you're just confirming something. I looked at the booklet for the Virgo card to see if there was anything I wasn't remembering about the sign, and it did remind me of a few things. First off, it's an earth sign (Capricorn is on the bottom of the deck, so I think this person has strong earth/water placements), and can be nurturing. So, maybe it's that their embodying a more nurturing energy right now for themselves? Like, I get this organized nurture. That's so funny to say because I think when people think of people who are organized and super analytical they definitely get like this idea of someone who is really serious and no-nonsense, right? But, I don't get that? In fact, even though I think they're healing and they have their walls up, I get this cheery sense to this person. I think they do like order and I think they are trying to take care of their health/body/mind/emotions (hygeia and virgo definitely suggest this), but I think they also are a nice person. Like a genuinely nice? (not that someone who cares for themselves aren’t, I’m just saying they like to help people as well as themselves, like a: “I give what I can when I can” kind of energy) Even though that dragon looks a bit suspicious on the King of cups and he's snarling, I think maybe they could give off a cold/harsh exterior? But, this could also be linked to those boundaries and those insecurities. Maybe this is how they seem, but if you get to know them, they're warmer than this. Oh, you know that's so funny, I forgot that we have the 1st house here. This is the house that is basically how we are on the outside? So maybe they're a Virgo or Aquarius rising? Or even a Scorpio rising? So then that would make those their first house. So I think maybe this cold version is their mask, but maybe their sun or moon is something  like a fire sign or even water? I'm not sure, because this is such a general reading that I'm probably reading for several people, so these are just small possibilities. It could just be that at this point in their life, this is how their energy is. Also, going back to hygeia, I think this person enjoys working out? Or just staying active. I think health is really important to them, or at least right now it is because bottom of the deck for the literary oracles is elixir, which can talk about health. You know what I just realized? That's not a dragon, its some sea creature, which I've gotten two new things from: the first is that that if they do like to stay active, I think they swim a lot or do a lot of water-related sports/activities. It could also be that water just really calms them down because water is a huge aspect of all the pictures on these cards. The second is that, remember how I said it looked like this "dragon" is guarding the cup in front of him? Like, that his heart is a bit closed off right now? Well, I also think that because this is some sea serpent that appears to be underwater (pretty deep too, judging by how dark the blue is in the background), so I think this person is keeping these feelings for you down deep. Like, deep down in their own ocean. So, like, they plan to tell you one day or at least they want to, but haven't been able to surface yet, if that makes sense? A few more things: The moon seems prominent some how. I didn't pull any cards that REALLY indicate the moon, but the hygeia card looks like the moon to me, but then the page of cups seems to have 6 moons too. So, 6 could be something important too. Maybe age difference? Month you met? Day you met? I'm not sure, something about this is important. Also, the moons can just kind of point out how there's still an unknown aspect to this, like they still are trying to figure you out but there's also stuff about them you don't know? So, if you do know who this is and you feel the same, you're asked to kind of wait for them to come around (NOT WAIT AROUND, I MEAN DON'T PUSH ANYTHING) but also that there's still some stuff you're unaware of. The color red is important too. When I first was shuffling I like saw it in my head but I didn't write about it because it just was like, "Oh, random" ya know? But now that I'm looking at the cards, I see it on the 1st house card and the King of Cups has some red that almost looks fiery. Also the page of cups has a red thread wrapped around their ankle, which, could be that maybe you're supposed to learn lessons from each other? Like, that red thread of fate? I'm not sure I can tell you if this person ever will make a move, but they want to some day. Another thing is that outside of red, I also think the colors green and blue are significant, like, maybe someone’s favorite color or something? So, basically this is someone who's healing after something. I don't think I got into what that could be, and honestly I don't really see what it could be with these cards. I think that's a message and it's that whatever it is, it's separate from you. Which is also why this person needs time to heal so that they don't bring it forward with them wherever they go, especially if that's to you. You know what's interesting? A few months ago I did a similar reading on who was crushing on people, and I definitely had a pile like this. So maybe you picked that pile and this is the same person and they're still healing? I'm not sure, I'll link that PAP here so that if you're curious to see if you get that pile you can read it. (here's that reading, it was pile 5) Music: Shameless - All Time Low Tokyo Hotel - Roadtrip Flowerchild - Citizen Intuition - The Backseat Lovers Pile 5: (Ross Poldark)

Cards:  Sun, Venus, Juno, Waning Gibbous Moon, Shirley Jackson (family) Alejandra Pizarnik (solitude), wolf, The Lovers, Nine of Pentacles, The Fool, and Page of Wands Pile 5, Your (I meant to put this, but it feels important to leave Your) person is trying to get over you. That's my first thought on this situation. Maybe, not really get over you, but maybe they think its best? I'm not sure if maybe they're thinking that it's kind of a futile thing or that maybe they don't think that they have a chance with you. So far in the shuffling process you guys have 2 extra cards, so I think this person talks a lot. Also, there are a lot of yellows and pinks I'm seeing with these cards. Tulips or roses may be of significance. This person might have a lot of earth or air in their chart. Like, I pulled the venus card, so they could be Libra or Taurus, but I also puled The Lovers and The Fool, so also maybe Gemini or Aquarius. I also think that their sun and venus placements might be important, like maybe they have them in signs that work well with your signs? With the Wolf card and the Alejandra Pizarnik (Solitude) card I definitely think this is someone who keeps to themselves. I don't really think they're an introvert (they could be) but with the sun and the venus cards I feel a definite sense that they're flirty lol. Like, I think they might not spend a lot of time with people, but they definitely can be charismatic? Also, I think its interesting that there are both the venus and the juno cards because venus is about love language and juno is also about relationships? I had a really weird 10 minutes where I spent a while trying to figure this out. First I thought maybe this was someone married or in a relationship who was into you or someone you once dated yourself? But, (and while that could be true, re: either versions), I don't think so. Even though I have cards like Juno, that means the partner, or Shirley Jackson which is a card about family/domestic life, I also have Wolf and Solitude and 9 of pentacles. Plus, with the lovers, I do think there's some genuine feelings here. I mean, it could also mean like, a choice this person has to make, but why not give me two of swords or another 2 card? Like, it could also mean that this person has a duality to them (so maybe they are really introverted but can be an extrovert when they need to be?). A weird thing is that I almost feel like telling you to look at the last pile (4) if you were drawn to it, because on the solitude card she's holding a heart that's broken and bleeding. So, maybe this person just went through a really bad break up (and maybe I'm getting weird mixed messages because maybe this is someone you thought was in a relationship, but has since left it? The spilled cup of tea/coffee on Shirley Jackson's card also suggests this to me - also the stain on the wall under the house.) I feel like, if you know who they are, you’re not sure what they’re up to. Maybe you’re in communication or something, but it’s surface level stuff right now? So, who they are as a person is that like I said, they could be both introverted and extroverted. Honestly, I think they're a complex person really. I think they may be romantic, but also maybe a flirt. I think they could be a really sunny person too, like this sun card is just really standing out to me. This could just mean that they're confident (I almost think that's like a definite with the fool card here), but it could also suggest that they have a big ego. The Waning Gibbous moon is about perfecting, so maybe they're perfecting something , like an aspect of them (taming their ego?), or a hobby or a job or just anything? Maybe they're a student and they're learning so that's what they're perfecting? I do think with the Lovers here, this could be them trying to perfect the balance within them, so maybe it's them balancing their emotions, or their confidence where they have a lot of it, but not to a detrimental point? And while I definitely associate this 9 of pentacles with their relationship status, just in the context of these cards, I also think this is like someone who's got their shit together, or at least working on that. I think they're stable financially, or their working on it/just about there. I think they're also independent and they don't rely on anyone. Maybe family is important to them and they are close to their family - and maybe because of that, they dream to have one, but right now they’re alone? I think with Juno there, maybe they see that you're someone that could fit into this idea though? Though, I do think they're still actively trying to get over you, so I still get that sense that they think this might never happen. I think the fool card suggests that they're willing to take risks. In the last pile, even though I said maybe you should read that one too if you're called to it, I said that possibly they're usually impulsive with connections with people, but that in that specific one, they weren't being impulsive. In this one, I do think it's not that they're impulsive per-say, but that they take risks. I almost see it more as calculated (which is funny because last pile got virgo and I'd definitely read that as calculated risk with the fool, but wasn't getting the vibe - this one I do). I definitely am seeing this with how this siren is kind of just waiting on this rock, studying something? Bottom of the deck for the astrological deck was Scorpio, so I think they like to observe people. So, maybe this siren on the fool card is observing before they make a move? I'm not sure why I still get the sense that they think this is futile...? Because I'd say the fool would eventually take the leap into the water, but I'm not seeing them do this. Then again, I did say they were perfecting something, so maybe its a waiting game until whatever this is gets perfected? Oh, I did just have a thought. I thought they were trying to move on from you but maybe they just went through a break up and its whoever they just broke up with? The lyrics I pulled for you are from Prehistoric by Now, Now: " I'll say that I've been trying to move on, we both know I'm not" - with, that one could literally be about you, maybe before they broke up, they felt guilty about having feelings for you (Because I almost wonder if this crush has overlapped within a relationship)? Or it's about the ex? It's going to differ for situations I think. The other was Divide by Tiger's Jaw "But it's too cold to walk home and I know I shouldn't call you". The song is about two people are into each other, and they can see it but they don't express it? It's almost as if they think its a bad idea to be together. I'm trying to figure out why they're trying to move on from you. Or if it is you... Something about this feels like I'm missing something? And I guess maybe that's a sign that you're not supposed to know everything about this person. That's another similarity to pile 4, they weren't really supposed to know either. So, I wonder if maybe this is also a reflection of you at this point in your life too? Maybe you're both learning on how to be yourselves and in order for anything to work between you two (if that's supposed to, but honestly with the lovers here I feel like maybe it is), you're supposed to learn how to be independent and what you want in life and a partner? One of the keywords for venus in the booklet is the Divine Feminine and as I started thinking about that, my ear started ringing. So, I think that one of you or both of you is supposed to get more in touch with the softer side of yourself. Like, the emotions? The bottom deck energy for the tarot is the Empress, so I do think there is something in that. Maybe both of you need to work on nurturing yourselves but also how to nurture others? Gonna be honest, this pile is really confusing me. It's so weird, I was getting stuff and getting stuff and now I feel like I'm hitting a wall. I'm going to try and pull a clarifier for the lyrics, because I think they're throwing me off the most. So, even the clarifier seems contradictory. It was page of wands, which normally I'd see that card as someone who's naïve and impulsive, kind of like the fool I guess. But, I think I'm seeing this now more as this person should be focusing on what makes them passionate, which very well could be you, but instead they're trying to let go. I think maybe they themselves are fighting this inside a lot. I'm going to stop reading this here, I think. I think this person has a lot to figure out, but I think you do too? I think this is a confusing situation where you both have feelings but someone wasn't available and now they're still not despite being single? I think whatever this is, it's going to take time. Sorry if this one seemed all over the place. I do think if you felt called to another pile you should try and check it out too because maybe it will give you more answers. But also, I need to remind you to take only what resonates. Do not try and make anything that doesn't fit, fit. I'm thinking it's so scattered because I think everyone is scattered? Like, I'm obviously reading for more than 2 people here, so I think its a bunch of confused individuals and I feel the need to really highlight the word Individual. So, my advice is to focus on yourself for now. I didn't give the other piles advice, but I feel the need to give it to you. Music: Divide - Tigers Jaw Prehistoric - Now, Now The 1 - Taylor Swift Pile 6: (Simon Basset)

Cards:  Book, Wings, Bees, King of Swords, Queen of Pentacles, The Hanged Man, Chiron, Waxing Crescent Moon, First Quarter Moon, Scorpio Wow. I'm pretty sure all 6 piles had some sort of scorpio mention, if not a scorpio-esque vibe. Either we're all attracting scorpios or its just some message for me that I'm ignoring. I'm going to read it like its not that!!! The tarot with this pile is really powerful to me. You got King of Swords, so someone who is really logical but knows how to use this logic to rule. This might be someone who maybe be higher up in their job? I wouldn't say its the CEO, but the fact that you also got King of Pentacles as the bottom deck energy, it very well may be? Or at least a manager of some sort. I also think because the bottom deck energy for the literary oracles is the eye, this is someone who holds a position over you? I think its like a watchful eye, they pay attention to you. But I think within this pile you may find answers to some questions you have? Another thing about that eye card is that for some reason when I saw it, I saw green eyes? So for some of you this person has green eyes. But I think that's for a limited few. You also have the Queen of Pentacles. The Queen of Pentacles is a nurturer, but she's also practical and grounded. So this person is both logical and grounded and to be honest that sounds like a double threat to me. I think with the hanged man, its kind of like the hermit in this sense. This person goes within a lot to think through things, but I think there's also that observational element from this and Scorpio, like they hang back and watch. That watchful eye again. This person loves to watch you. Like, I just keep thinking about that eye card and I don't know why. But, the hanged man can also talk about a pause. Perhaps this person is in a stagnant period within their life? Or they're on pause. I think whatever this pause is, it's not keeping them from from watching you. WHY DO I KEEP CIRCLING BACK TO THAT? I definitely think this person has some obsessive tendencies and I know that’s kind of a stereotype with scorpios, but because I keep thinking the words "watchful eye" i definitely think they're keeping tabs on you. Whether it be in person or on the internet. I don't get any particularly bad vibes from them, but I do think if they wanted to, they could be manipulative, so keep that in mind. The wings suggest that they're a very ambitious individual. So, if they haven't gotten to the top of their company yet and that's where they want to go, they will. Kind of like how I feel that once they set their eyes on someone, its only a matter of time before they make a move. I get that movement feeling with the wings and the bees too. Also, the wings could suggest someone that travels or likes to travel. Maybe they're also in constant movement. The king of swords is a griffon in this deck, so I definitely see a lot of movement with this person. The book for this deck says it can signify hope, so like the star card almost. I think they are hopeful about you, but I also read this as history. Maybe they like history (I'm thinking like renaissance period stuff if so, just based on the dress on the lady in the hanged man card?) or you both have a history with each other? Take what resonates, guys. And the bees can talk about teamwork, so maybe they just make a good partner, whether its within business or in love. But, I also could read this as work, so maybe this is a manager or boss of yours? Kind of scandalous to be honest lmao, I definitely get this forbidden feeling with this pile, I mean one of the songs is called Separate Rooms, so there's a sense of like...propriety here? The lyrics that I pulled from that song are "If you don't mind, I don't mind", so maybe its like, they don't quite mind that they think this might never happen or can't happen? I think maybe they'd say that for sure, but is that how they really feel? Or, possibly, they don’t mind the forbidden aspect of it (maybe its a turn on?). I do think they're into you for sure. I mean, obviously its' a reading on who has a crush on you, but the line from the other song I pulled, Honeypie by Love Fame Tragedy is "Some feelings go but most find their way back in", so I do think they try to not think about how they feel about you, and yet they always find that their thoughts come back to you? Especially if you work together, but it's like a fight they loose all the time. It just keeps happening. With the King of Swords I definitely see this person as more cerebral and even if they think less with their heart and more with their head, it doesn't mean that heart doesn't leak through. I bet its a battle within themselves daily, to be honest. With chiron, I think this person has a healing energy to them. There is also a bit of self-doubt, but I think we all experience that from time to time. They could also be healing themselves too? But I get that they're more of a healing energy. Bottom of the deck is New Moon, so I mean, they could be starting something new, which could maybe involve healing. I also pulled Waxing Crescent Moon, which can be about taking initiative. I think they're fairly action oriented, and I think both the King of Swords and the Queen of Pentacles (less so than the King of Swords, and slow movement with this card, but movement within this specific version) can say that too. I see those two as movers more than the Hanged Man, but again. I think they're in a period of stagnation, so I don't think they're doing a lot of action-oriented things right now. First Quarter Moon can talk about growth, so maybe this stagnant period is really them just growing? Like, maybe they're looking inward at their own faults and stuff like that. I feel like Chiron hints at that too. Like, they're gaining more knowledge about themselves and the world around them by going inward. Which, really, is the message of the hermit card, but it didn't come out. I think the Scorpio card also might factor into that healing energy as well as the one of growth. Scorpios are known for being all about transformation, which is what growth is. They also are a water sign, so I think there's a lot of emotions here, but I think they know how to transmute them healthily. It's interesting, because even though I get that this is kind of a forbidden connection (like I get that vibe), I think they sound like a good person to be around. Like, they almost give off a mentor vibe, and I like that. Even though they may be a little creepy and have their eye on you, I think they're also not a bad person to have around? I think they give good advice and I also think you can learn a lot from them, especially with the way I think they heal themselves. AHH. The bottom deck energy for the lyric deck was Good Together by Shallou and the first line in the song is “We couldn’t love from a distance” So! I think whatever this is, they can’t stand not being with you? Like, I think they want so badly to tell you how they feel but circumstances don’t allow for it. I didn’t even notice this until I was linking the song down below!! Though, the rest of the song is about how this person’s ex is falling for someone else now. So? I don’t know. That first line does really stick out to me, but maybe the rest of the song has something for you. Music: Honeypie - Love Fame Tragedy Separate Rooms - Now, Now Prehistoric - Now, Now Good Together - Shallou

[sylvie-writes]

Bad (4): Moral of the Story

First inspired by this song ➳ Bad by Lennon Stella

(Ransom Drysdale x wife reader)

Summary: Your divorce with Ransom is finalized and some changes, good and bad, occur for the both of you.

A/n: Sorry loves that I’m slow with getting out chapters! There’s just a lot going on lately, so I apologize that this one is kinda short. Next chapter will be better!

Also, many thanks to those of you who voted! hehe I might have been a little biased and wanted Andy in the story too...

Warnings: mild profanity. more angst.

As always, plz pardon any mistakes, the stories are always proofread but I tend to make many mistakes regardless.

Series Masterlist

On November 12th, a life you once knew was officially left behind.

That was the day a judge signed off his judgement and you and Ransom were officially divorced.

After all the hell he put you through, one would think you’d be happy. But honestly? You were still unhappy. Of course you’d never left him back in your life, yet your heart was still broken. 

It wasn’t supposed the end this way.

You weren’t ever supposed to be sitting in your car, alone, letting your confident facade fall, as your shoulders racked with heavy sobs.  

Unfortunately, life is just always full of surprises. Good and bad ones.

Today seemed as if it were just the perfect day for a divorce, if there was ever such a thing.

Rain heavily fell from the ominous-looking clouds, such as your tears uncontrollably streamed from your eyes. You were thankful for the dark lighting, making it impossible for the others parked in the dimly-lit parking garage to see your distressed state. 

Behind your tears, the radio quietly played, and you took a second to listen to the song, reaching forward to turn to volume up, just the slightest. Its lyrics spoke to you, and somehow you knew things were gonna be okay. 

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

You can think that you're in love

When you're really just in pain

Some mistakes get made

That's alright, that's okay

In the end it's better for me

That's the moral of the story 

Once your emotions made their much needed escape, you took a deep breath, as if you were starting afresh. This was your life now, and from here on out, you’d make the calls. Ransom was no longer looming around the back of your conscience and it was nice. He was of the past, and currently you were preparing for the future. Even your little one knew it, as they lightly kicked you, almost as if they were saying, ‘it’s gonna be okay.”

And you knew that was true. You had a baby on the way, and that was more than enough. A precious gift from the heavens, who would be making their appearance in a little over a month. Just the mere thought brought a smile to your face, one you caught in the rearview mirror. Analyzing the smile, you realized that it wasn’t forced and that you were finally, truly, happy. 

A few weeks had passed since the divorce, and you were functioning just fine, some would even say incredibly. For you, the dark clouds of your divorce and past love life had moved on, but for Ransom, it was quite the opposite…  

Ransom was miserably laying on his couch, legs propped over the armrest, head lazily laid on a throw pillow, half of his mind focusing on the tv, while the other half, imagined a time when you were there with him.

“Ransom, have I ever told you how much I loved you?” 

You hand rested on his soft and clean-shaven face, gazing happily into his never ending blue eyes. The man pretended to think, shaking his head then leaning forward to capture you lips in a kiss. Ransom pushed your back against the couch, as the two of you laughed, although still lipped locked. 

“Ransom…”

The man’s eyes may have been glued to the tv screen, but instead his mind was replaying the memory of you. He could even hear your voice, as if the daydream was nothing more than reality, until another voice cut into his mind. A higher pitched one, if you will.

“Ransom!”

He didn’t respond to the girl, the call of his name being mixed with two voices. Blair’s and yours. It took everything to hold onto to your voice and ignore the other. 

“Ransom.”

Finally, the woman’s voice, who was actually standing in front of him, broke through, shattering his memories and pushing him into reality.

Ransom quickly sat upright, to act as if nothing happened, allowing the smiling woman to sit in his lap, while peppering kisses over his jawline. Her kisses were nothing like yours. You kisses were filled will love and not lust.

“Oh Ranny. How did I get so lucky?”

He plastered a fake smile on his face, leaning into to kiss her nose, instantly repulsed by his own actions. 

“You know, I already did some wedding planning today.”

The words that left the woman’s mouth made Ransom’s constant thinking freeze. He had been so eager to getting over you that he blindly proposed to this woman, who was obviously no better than himself. She was going to put up with his shit, unlike you. That was definitely something he didn’t need in this new marriage. Actually he didn’t even need a marriage. 

“Blair, I’m sorry I just can’t.”

Her eyes grew like the size of saucers, as she hopped off of Ransom’s lap, standing tall and towering over the sitting man, clearly ready for a fight.

“Can’t what, Hugh?”

“Get married.”

The scoff she let out was loud enough to be heard in China, before her pitchy voice started yelling at Mr. Heartbreaker. She really was overreacting, this was Ransom Drysdale after all.

“You asshole! Is it because I’m not (y/n), huh is that it? Newsflash! She won’t take you back. You’ve fucked up Ransom and now you are losing me too!” 

At the mention of your name, a fire ignited inside Ransom. Yes, he screwed up, but he didn’t need anyone, especially Blair, to tell him that.

“Yeah, I screwed up, but you know what? We are both fuckers who ruin the lives of the ones we love. You knew damn well I was married, and seeing what I did to her, you knew what you were getting yourself into! I’m not blaming you, cause it takes two to tango, sweetheart!” 

Blair stared daggers into Ransom’s eyes, him doing the same, as both of their chests were heaving from their screaming match. The man had made a great point, although self-deprecating yet true. When he was married, he was so willingly ready to cheat, it was a sign that Ransom would never be ready to commit to anyone, even when he thought he was in love. 

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to be arguing and drunk, though, while even sober, Ransom’s mind never functioned properly. Not after you left anyway. 

Their argument continued into the night, with Blair leaving behind her rock of a ring in the palm of Ransom’s hand. And truth be told, that when woman angrily strutted out the door, Ransom felt at ease for once. He had finally put a patch on his sinking boat that rocked in the large ocean of his fuck-ups. When the bed was empty that night, it felt nice. Why he ever traded you for Blair was beyond him, and he hated himself for it. But no, he knew you’d never take him back, you were too good for him. Hopefully, you’d find someone else who’d love you better than he treated you. For once, Ransom put your needs before his. If you were to show up on his doorstep tomorrow moring with an engagement ring, and a man at your waist, he’d hoensly congratulate you. As much as it would pain him to see you move on, he knew no amount of pain could weigh up to the heartbreak you felt. 

This was his punishment. 

It really did take all the physical restraint in Ransom to not run up to you, fall to his knees and beg when he saw you those weeks ago in court. It took everything in him to not call, and apologize for the hell he put you through. Because as much as you deserved an apology, he knew you’d never forgive him and it would hurt him even more.

For you, as the time to your due date got closer, you suddenly realized that one income might not be enough. Bills after bills can bleed one dry. So, last Saturday, you saw an ad online for a personal assistant, the requirements were slim and the hours were as needed. After four long days, you finally received a chance for an interview, which unfortunately occurred during your work hours. Lorraine, the sweetest woman on the planet, offered to work your shift, giving you the time to rush off to the DA’s office. Newton wasn’t too far of a drive, and at this point you’d travel across country just to give this precious life inside of you, a good beginning. Being eight months pregnant, probably ruined your chances of getting the job, but when you met your “hopefully soon-to-be boss”, he seemed to not care. Actually, he was willing to give you the jobs, but was concerned it would be to much for you. It took a few tries, but you finally assured the man, leaving his office only to see him again tomorrow. 

You came to know your boss as Andy Barber, a man with a heart of gold, and his worries always about you. It was endearing, and you started to unintentionally drift closer to the man. One late night in that very November, Andy had decided to work well past his usual hours. It was pitiful to see the man all alone in the building as the only source of light was at his desk. Thanksgiving holiday was coming up and Andy begged for you to go home and start your holiday break. For minutes your both “bickered” back and forth, until you finally left, giving Andy a sense of relief. He really did care about you, although he never said so. Your were his employee and he wasn’t sure if you felt the same way. Well, until tonight anyway.

Just as Andy thought he’d sent you home, you came back ten minutes later, a small pizza box in one hand, while the other held a liter of soda. A grin spread across Andy’s face, as he stood up to take the box from you, clearing off room on his desk for the two of you to eat. While enjoying your makeshift dinner, you and Andy started to open up to each other even more, carrying on small talk, that led to something else.

“So how far along are you, (y/n)?”

“About eight months.”

Andy raised his eyebrows in surprise, while also admiring you for your dedication. 

“Wow, that’s amazing! I can’t even imagine how hard all of this is for you.”

Your boss motioned to all of the paperwork on his desk, to which you just shook your head. It really wasn’t an inconvenience at all. 

“Oh, it’s not that bad. I’m the only one making a home for this baby, so I do what I can.”

Your eyes trailed up from your belly to be met with Andy’s sympathetic smile.

“I wouldn’t have known, but I do know this baby has the best mother of them all.”

At the compliment you let out a small laugh, a sound that made Andy beam, as the two of you continued to work on some files. To keep the night from falling silent, you continued to talk with the man, not missing a beat in your conversation. 

“Thank you, that means a lot to me. My husband, err, ex-husband, Ransom, cheated on me, but he did leave me this precious gift.” 

For some reason, you felt compelled to tell Andy your story, like you needed to get it off your chest to someone other than Lorraine. Come to think about it, Andy was the only other person you trusted, Lorraine, of course, being the first. In the two weeks you had worked together, the man had made an everlasting impression on you. 

Oh good god, why did you just spill your guts to the man? He probably doesn't care for your sob story--

“Ransom? As in Ransom Drysdale?”

You nodded your head, preparing yourself for some spew of judgement.

“That’s right! I’ve heard of him... and you. The two of you seemed in love. I’m so sorry (y/n), you didn’t deserve it, honey.

Not only were you shocked that Andy did genuinely care, but the pet name sounded like it was a second nature to him, which seemed to make your heart swell. 

“Thanks. It’s led me here though! To this amazing job with my lovely boss.”

Feeling a surge of confidence, with hopes that maybe Andy felt the same way, you shot him a playful wink. Your eyes dazzling in the yellow light of the desk lamp, making Andy view you almost as an angel. Thank the heavens he wasn’t standing, because your adorable wink made his knees weak. 

If Andy was going to become close to you as he hoped, now was the time to come clean about his past, and serve it on a platter as you had done. A good relationship always starts with trust. 

“Well if it makes it any better, I went through something similar. My wife left me years ago, with my son too. Last year, I went to go visit them, only to find they’d been in a car accident-”

A stray drop of a tear fell onto the paper underneath Andy, and it broke your heart to see him this way. It was obviously hard for him to tell the story, and you’d heard enough. Deciding to make a bold move, you moved around the desk and wrapped your arms around Andy’s shoulders. 

The man solemnly turned towards you, his chair swiveling around along with him, giving you the space to sit on his knees, while holding him close. His beard tickled your neck, as silent tears were shed. Your hand soothingly ran along his back, as you placed soft kisses to his temple. Andy’s arms were at your twisted waist, the baby bump slightly in the way, although you had turned your body to accommodate the man’s large figure. 

The two of you stayed locked in each other’s embrace for a long four minutes, until Andy pulled back, his arms still around your waist. Slowly, you brought your hand around from his neck, and to his cheek, using your thumb to wipe at the dry tears. Andy leaned into your touch and smiled contently at you. He was a broken man, who needed some love. Exactly the kind you’d shown him. 

Without second thought, you pressed your lips to Andy’s, noticing how his lips felt different than Ransom’s, his beard making you giggle just a bit. After what seemed to be forever, you and Andy reluctantly pulled away from each other, blissful smiles on your faces. 

From that night forward, you and Andy Barber started dating. Dinners out after long nights of work, or movies at home. He reminded you so much of how Ransom was in the beginning, except this time, you knew that this man wouldn't break your heart. 

For Thanksgiving, you invited Andy over for dinner as the two of you were all alone this year, no family this time, and your friends had their own lives. 

Dinner started out great, you and Andy bought a small Turkey, basting and then roasting it, along with making some side dishes, most of them being microwaveable. Honestly, the food had tasted delicious regardless of the way it was cooked. 

Just as you were about to dig into the feast before your eyes, a text message rang through on your phone. Who would be texting you at this hour, especially on thanksgiving?

Ransom- I know this isn’t the time, but I was wondering if tomorrow you’d like to go out for lunch. Not as a date or anything, but so I can apologize to you and explain. I’m not looking for forgiveness, but you deserve to know.” 

Your face looked as if you had seen a ghost, the expression scaring Andy as he had peeked up from his plate to see you not eating, and instead staring into the void of your cell phone screen. 

“(y/n), what’s wrong?” 

Reaching across the table, Andy grabbed your free hand, slightly startling you from your deep thoughts. 

“Uh. Ransom. He texted me. Asked for lunch tomorrow to explain everything.” 

The man, still holding your hand, shook his head, prompting you to continue on with the story. 

A part of you wondered why the events of the past had happened, and to get closure, you needed answers. Maybe it wasn’t in your best interest, but the curiosity inside of you was piqued. Now that you knew Ransom was willingly ready to talk, you also knew that if you didn’t take this opportunity, it would instead eat away at you. Something that you definitely didn’t need. 

“Andy, what should I do?”

“Oh honey, I know you want to know what happened , so go. But if you ever feel uncomfortable, call me and I’ll be there to kick his ass.” 

You laughed at Andy’s protectiveness, and lightly kissed his hand that was enclosing yours. Looking down, you felt a tiny yet powerful kick. A sign from the little one that his or her father still didn’t know about their existence. The ending of Ransom’s text flashed in your brain, the irony of it all laughing at you. 

You deserve to know. 

Ransom was an asshole, that’s for sure, but in the end he fathered this child, and deserved to know that much. The same went for yourself, as you were entitled to the story that destroyed your marriage. 

Tomorrow is definitely gonna be one for the books...

another a/n: If you’ve made it here (the end) I applaud you very much, but while you’re here, I apologize for this chapter. The writing style is that of a fifth grader, and I am forever ashamed that i actually posted it haha. 

Anyway, the next chapter should hopefully be better!

taglist (series and in general tags): @kiwihoee @buckybarnesthehotshot @memissbee @tricereads @tonystankschild @coffeebooksandfandom @ria132love @what-is-your-wish @maan24 @bval-1 @jemimah-b99 @turtoix @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @l-u-n-a-m @lexeeehhh​ @hc-geralt-23​

lemme know if you wanna join, be removed, or if i tagged the wrong person!