#them thangs be swangin

[frog-kisser]

getting bottom surgery to replace my real nuts with truck nuts

[ebonysplendor]

Infatuation 💰🏞️

TL;DR: What's worse than running away from one psychopath? Running away from six psychopaths. Even worse than that? They're rich psychopaths, with shmonies. Also, can we make a damn plan and stick to it please?!

Game Link: https://aspenglen.itch.io/infatuation

Notable Features: Self-Insert, Customizable (somewhat), Multiple Endings, Multiple LIs, Yandere LIs, 4+ hours of gameplay Spiciness: 2/5 -- It can get a little flirty and a little spicy here and there, but the main "spice" is when there's an unwanted advance from some of the LIs LI(s) Red Flags: 3.8/5 -- Kidnapping, drugging, nonconsensual sexual advances, tied up, branded, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical force

Wanna know more? Meh...I say not unless you're at least 16. There's not an age restriction, buuuuuuuuuut I don't feel like anyone's 12-year-old sibling should be playing this. That being said, I can't do much from behind a screen, so let's get into it!

Just a heads up, the game was long as shit, so this review is going to be long as shit;;

Oh hey. Didn't see ya there. Oh this? This is just my first post in about a month. Thought I'd just...sliiiiide on in here, get thangs swangin' again. Lol but no seriously. It has been a pretty crazy month, but I've finally got enough time and rest at the same time to finally make this review, and aha...

Respectfully...I understand that all good things must come to an end, but damn, I really miss that phase where I was running into all the really good visual novels...

That being said, I know what I said, but hear me out! The game isn't...awful...but I didn't really vibe with it. Like, I know why I didn't vibe with it, but I'd rather wait and get into all of that during the review portion. Hopefully, based on the summary I give you, the review and criticism I have will make sense.

Anyways, this game, interestingly enough, is actually a rendition -- am I using that word right? I believe I am...? -- of a story that was written on Wattpad, and don't act all brand new like you don't know what Wattpad is! You know damn well what Wattpad is because here you are playing and reading visual novels and reviews of visual novels about toxic ass men being a (forced) love interest. Don't try to play me. I'm getting distracted though!

So the name of the story on Wattpad, like the game, is Infatuation, and it's about...well actually, I'm gonna give you a summary of what it's about because this visual novel is based off of it! I was going to give the actual story a read after I finished the visual novel but, uh...

Almost a 24 hour read???? Yeah, no thanks, and you'll hopefully understand why I didn't have much motivation to give it a read after my review.

I'm pretty over yapping in the intro, though, so let's head into the actual game, yeah? As per the usual, I'm going to tell you as much about the game as possible without ruining the game itself. Without a better transition sentence, let's get into it!

So boom.

We're on our way to school, and we meet up with our -- quite frankly -- thirsty ass friends. They're pretty much raving about this new group of boys that had just transferred to our school, because, not only are they super rich, they are, apparently, extremely attractive.

We pretty much brush this off, though, because we're not looking for anything romantic. Honestly, we're barely looking for anything platonic; however, we agreed to be their wingman since we're essentially God-tier at picking up men that we don't want.

That being said, by some weird stroke of luck -- or misfortune, considering we know that this is all going to go very left as the story progresses -- we proceed to run into every single one of them. And I mean

every.

single.

frickin.

one.

of.

them.

Well, kinda? The blond one had a class with the blue-haired guy, us, and the bestie. The purple haired one -- even though it's more of a burgundy? -- was in the vicinity after we had pretty much asked the other boys about him because this was the one that the besties were simping over the most. But the rest? Pretty much had a one-on-one moment with all of them, even if one was extremely douchey.

Anyways, we're kind've going about our days and the besties are still thirstin', and, admittedly, we're getting closer to these guys -- too close. One of our other friends -- his name is Hiroko -- pretty much warns us about them because something just seems real sketchy to him about these guys. That being said, we just kind've brush him off, because it's, like, sir? Who are you to talk about someone being sketchy? Like, lmao mans is a full on delinquent with a whole ass gang and a criminal history with the police, and they can't stand his ass.

He's a good sport about it, though, because even though he's like "You're a full blown dumbass for that", he's like "True, true..." and just warns us to be careful around them. Now mind you, his concern is totally fair, because it's discovered later on that they pretty much fucked up this one kid's world -- you'll have to discover how during your own playthrough, though. I ain't tellin' you all that lmao.

Now, fast forwarding a lot here, shit lowkey starts hitting the fan because the bae comes back in town -- not official bae, but still bae -- and conveniently enough, he is the brother of our two besties

Everyone. This is Kenzen; the man that we're pretty sure is gonna be our husband and baby daddy one day, maybe not even in that order, but those things exactly.

Now, the reason why shit starts hitting the fan is because all of a sudden, the school boys are starting to realize that we already have our future husband picked out. Shit proceeds to get super tense once this knowledge it learned, and the boys are start to slowly but slowly lose their shit. Allow me to show you

Exhibit A: A most vicious side-eye competition

Exhibit B: The OG death grip and growl

and Exhibit C: The comply or choose death, but drunken

Oh, and let's just throw this one in for some added flair.

And definitely this one.

And why would we not add this one?

Yep, the fan was pretty much hit with shit so...yeah lmao. Go ahead and give it a go so you can see how we ended up with the most romantic gift of a necklace and a finger.

Lmao I wasn't joking about the finger by the way.

And now to air all of my grievances...

Lol nah, I'm joking, but also...there's a lot to unpack here.

First off, let's talk about the good!

So...our psychopathic LIs. Can we just acknowledge the diversity? Like, you had your pale guy, your dark guy, your tan guy, your fair skin guy, like...? I seriously appreciate that time was taken out to actually make all the LIs look different from each other and not some copy-paste, change the eye color and hair thing. I absolutely LOVED the diversity of the LIs.

Not to mention, the MC is diverse a well! Granted, like typical, we can't really SEE it except in the occasional CG, but it was just dope that there was even an option, ya know?

Also! The concept of the story was actually pretty solid! Some of the things that happened were interesting, and I definitely had a "...Well, damn ._." moment here and there.

Now for the...not so good.

This flowed like a stereotypical Wattpad story. That's obviously no fault of the dev, but, for me, the point of renditions is to take something and make it a little better or give it some extra flair without ruining what the OG creator intended -- that didn't really happen, and that was honestly what bugged me the most out of everything.

I didn't really care that there'd be strings and strings and strings of dialogue before the next choice finally came up nor did I care that, while it appeared to be choice heavy, it was actually just an illusion on choice where it didn't really matter how you responded to certain things; it just was. But yeah, the pacing was...well, let me expose myself a little (don't come after me. I'm a tiny and cozy blog lol)

If you make posts on tumblr, then you know what this is. For those that don't know and/or can't guess what it is, this shows the interaction that my blog gets or my "activity" more accurately. The reason why I brought this out was because...this was how the story's pacing was.

First, it'd be on a steady progression, and then it'd drone on and on and on into a plateau, but then -- out of no where -- shit will randomly escalate and just take off into this fit of drama...but then it'd quickly drop. There was no real flow, and when there was, it'd be super inconsistent. Not to mention, the wishy-washiness of the MC and the unpredictability of the LIs (which duh, right?), the pacing would just take off and then would come to a dead stop. It's like there was no balance between the narration, the drama, and the transitions to the next scene. Like, yeah, you've gotta story tell, obvi, but don't drone on for-- actually I can show you that as well.

Did you notice how long that clip was? Imagine how long it took to read...

That was just straight up narration, and there was multiple times where this happened. Nothing really happening, no choices to make, just straight up narration. Well, no, I lied a little. Things did happen, but once again, it'd come out of no where. It, quite literally, will go from having a normal conversation, and then the yandere side just comes out totally unprovoked. Like? It's honestly more for shock factor than for story, and it got to a point where I was honestly just tired of the game itself and was wanting it to end...but it ended up being 3 hours longer, and I'm not even joking about that. Once again, I can show you.

This was the point I started getting ill with the game but felt that I was towards the end and pushed on to finish it out

This was when I realized that I was clearly wrong about that being "almost the end" and took pretty much another 3 hours to get through.

And yes, for the most part, I played it in one sitting with the exception of when I got me a little snacky snack and went to pee. Oh? You're curious about what time I started playing?

Around 5 hours beforehand...

Notice that that all says 19 June 2024. I have never been so glad to see the ending screen...

It wasn't even because it was bad! It was just. so. extremely. long. And for, what felt like, no reason to be that long. Granted, I could've stopped and saved and came back, but it always felt like I was either getting to the end or to a good part, and it just never came -- not that there wasn't any good parts, but...never mind, I feel like I make it worse the more I try to explain...

Anyways, the game wasn't awful by any means, but it definitely could use some improvement. The whole thing had good potential, the pacing of it really just killed it for me, and had that been better executed? This would've been a great game, but it's honestly just...decent. It had multiple endings, but outside of each of the yandere LIs' ending? I didn't bother trying to get the others.

Even still, while I don't recommend the game, I think it's still worth giving it a casual playthrough! There's plenty of material to read, and there are some interesting parts! Like I said, it's just a pacing issue. Not to mention the MC was pissing me off with that wishy-washy bullshit. Like, bro, survival is at the top of the list. Why are you making a plan and doing the exact opposite of what you were gonna do? Like, what the fuck is you doin'?!

You'll understand it when you play it yourself so...give it a fair try? Here, I'll even put the link here! Heck, and give the dev some encouraging words and, even though I didn't see it, some monetary support! The game itself was honestly fine! It was just the storytelling needed some work, which lowkey isn't even their fault because it was based off of a Wattpad story (I'll link that again here, by the by).

Okay, this review is about to be the same length as the game. I'm going to go ahead and head out of here. Just to reiterate, the game is free! Giving it a casual playthrough never hurts! I mean, what've you got to lose except about 4 - 6 hours?

Okay, really, I'm out of here now! Remember! Drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Infatuation

[vhstape]

literally begging anyone taking horny selfies in the ghostface mask to fucking take those dangly bits and tie them in the back its such a fucking boner killer to see them thangs swangin

[puppy-momo-mainblog]

No hate at all but to people who have jiggle physics mods in their game...

Why? I feel like technology isnt realistic enough for me to be like "yeah i want that." I just find it to be hilariously excessive. Like them thangs be SWANGIN.

[campkillyrself]

u dont even have anon asks on but fine. do taurs count

anons enabled i forgot i had them off. Oopsies.

taurs count. theyre very cool conceptually i like the idea of a big swangin thang but overall i feel like. rmmm. 6/10. cool and good and really interesting but not for me

[angelgendered]

Also I downloaded loads of hr3 body mods and like 99% of them have huge swinging dick bulges like WHY. your mod is good without the thangs swangin why did you

(I'm jk but seriously now)

(Hyper sexualisation of beefy men and cats I guess lmfao)

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

{Asbeel rests in a recliner chair, stolen from one of the Father's experiments. As no other angels still live to their knowledge, they are free to exist on their own. Currently, they took their stolen recliner chair to 5-S: I ONLY SAY MORNING. They may fish. Who knows.}

{As they begin to fall asleep, a flash of light appears from the elevator doors, followed by the barely audible clanking of mail sabatons and shimmering of Light.}

{...and a tired archangel.}

{Asbeel looks towards the archangel, their suspicions alleviated: Gabriel. In the flesh. They greet Gabriel with a handwave.}

Gabriel: Hello, Asbeel.

{Gabe begins floating at a near-horizontal angle, chest up, mimicking one of those beach/pool chairs he saw on a scouting mission a few hours ago.}

Gabriel: What brings you here, if you might communicate?

{Asbeel does not communicate.}

{A beat passes.}

Gabriel: God is dead, I'm sure you know. You can talk if you want.

{Asbeel emits a low growl, as if to ask Gabe why he's interrupting their peace.}

{Gabriel misinterprets this as a threat of silence, taking his voice out of the moment.}

{...Peace.}

{The two fallen angels chill there, lounging at the end of world. The mist is blissful, the lake warm. Soon, Asbeel picks up a fishing rod from out of the bucket inbetween them and Gabriel, throwing out a line.}

{Gabriel pipes up again.}

Gabriel: ...erm... If I may ask?

{Asbeel looks over to Gabe.}

Gabriel: How did you feel about the Council?

{Asbeel responds with a thumbs down. They held mighty disdain for the Council, and still do. Nothing will change that.}

Gabriel: I'm of the same opinion. What if I were to tell you that I've slain the Council?

{Asbeel stares directly at Gabriel's face.}

{...}

{They follow up with a high five, then handing Gabe a fishing rod as well. Gabe's quite chipper about the response.}

Gabriel: Thank you, Asbeel.

{He takes the fishing rod from Asbeel, swangin' that thang out to the lake ahead.}

{The two fallen angels then spend the next few hours vibing, catching fish, and enjoying themselves.}

[cyberthot666]

whenever I see a muscular man I’m not paying attention to his arms or his abs I’m always tryna see them cute lil bubble butts they got I know he feel like a whole baddie swangin that thang

[pinkchanelbag]

eren + alt bi gf and no social media presence gamer bf 

inspired from a tweet idk lmao but modern gamer eren make my brain go brrrr

cw: mild mentions of nsfw

࿏࿏࿏

- FIRSTLY we will be talking about how eren looks with the bun and headset combo

- hair flying out when he’s getting into it, or the way he frustratedly pulls the headset down to sit on his neck as he throws his head back in his chair to groan over the game and his adams apple bobs as he complains

- or the way his fingers expertly fly over his controller and sometimes you can’t help but stare at them shamelessly considering he’s too focused to notice

- ANYWAYYYYYYY

- eren’s style would be pretty different from yours mostly because he doesn’t particularly have one - very much a fan of simple hoodies, crewnecks, tight fit shirts, and sweatpants or joggers if he’s gotta go somewhere plus some converse maybe some jordans if he’s feeling particular 

- christ he’s so sexy

- you on the other hand are into experimenting with expression and put the time into makeup, accessories, clothes, shoes, all of it

- it’s not to say you’re a girly girl or whatever or even necessarily into fashion; it’s just a form of expression that is really unique!

- and eren, though usually pretty chill, is in love with it

- if your preference for fashion is a bit more out there, then he’s def into it, happy to give his opinion on new things you’re looking into, etc. 

- if it’s a bit more typical alt (oxymoron LOL?) he’d love that too cause he literally already thinks you’re ridiculously cute but then seeing you in the aesthetic and state where you’re most YOU is practically arousing to him 

- on that note - trust that this man does not care how conservative or revealing your clothing is

- you could wear hoodies 4 times too big and he’d think it looks fire (and would also wanna scoop you into his arms and give you kisses and maybe make you make some pretty ‘O’ faces)

- or you could be wearing crop tops and booty shorts and he’d be helping you pick out what shoes to go with 

- THE DEFINITION OF “where what you want, i can fight.”

- imagine you have some sort of big internet following like tiktok, twitter, etc? and it’s well known ur in a relationship and without even needing to be present or known, eren radiates bde 

- having zero socials except like discord or something but also not being a bitchless incel and having this sick ass gf? whew 

- not to mention this man is well in touch with his kinky side

- he’s incredibly laid back, so he’s a chill sorta dom

- the *quarks a single eyebrow and has you straightening your act immediately* kind of dom 

- god help you if you do something like outfit showings for him...you better hope you kept note of where you got that one top from because you might suddenly find it ripped off your body (he’ll pay for the new one of course <3}

- and of course!! is wholly supportive of your sexuality

- although being bi is by no means synonymous to being sexually promiscuous, IF your sexuality results in you being more open to certain things (”effeminate” male traits, mayhaps threesomes, etc.) then eren is game to trying anything once - like i said, he’s pretty laidback

- just to touch on the attire once more...sweatpants LMAOOOO the print is phenomenal and if he’s not wearing undies? lord have merthy that thang be swangin

- head under the gaming desk? mhm

- riding him while he’s on discord with his friends? ye

- eating the million dolla puthy after being on the game too long and not giving you attention? yup yup yup

- just...yeah gamer eren lives in my head rent free

࿏࿏࿏

[lchantae]

Take it off.. Baby take it alll.. off.. Uhh, take it off chick, bend over, let me see it If you lookin for a trill-type figure, let me be it Got the V-12 Benz, parked outside It ain't enough room to fit dem guls in my ride It's onna, work somethin, twerk somethin basis Makin big change, dancin in them tricks faces She sleep in the day, but bump some booty at night You kiss that thang and I'm out, cause she been playin with my pipe Now get your mind right, hater, you a simp (a simp) And I'm a red hot undercover pimmmmmp (pimmmmp) that make them guls get down on the flo', on the flo' Like a real live money makin pro, uhh You gotta take it off, take it off, UNH And let a first class nigga break you off, chick You gotta take it off, take it off, UNH And let a first class nigga break you off some, chick Unh.. It was a Secret that Victoria tried to hide A little sly delight, I done pushed my pride aside just to slide inside, man I done died tonight Now what I'm 'sposed to do? Been got close to you Lookin like a poster to, don't want to boast but you Missus do a Dr. Feelgood, lay a playa real good Limpin came back, and it was still good, she will put a few tips in her mouth, that's that definition of them true chicks in the South, let me do my thang on the cool quick to the crotch, get the beds but guess what? We kickin them hot, shakin it soft, shoulda been here She did eight and the law, but you was late and you lost Man she was takin it off You gotta take it off, take it off, UNH And let a first class nigga break you off, chick You gotta take it off, take it off, UNH And let a first class nigga break you off some, chick I'm sitting, touchin' with my diamonds on, and man I miss that boy Pac, sippin' liquor tryin' to grip the chrome I keep a chip off in my cell phone, they used to call me Pimp see but now the chicks they call me James Jones And if I skip I'm back to D-slangin, keep them boys nod-headed Keep the boppers with they butts swangin I used to be the young playa holdin Now I leave them guls with they jellyroll swollen, I'm rollin You gotta take it off, take it off, UNH And let a first class nigga break you off, chick You gotta take it off #songoftheday