#then he would be like i cant believe they made them fucking mouses im killing myself

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

i think arthur conan doyle would be soooooooo smug that most sherlock holmes adaptations suck majorly. but then he’d see the great mouse detective and shoot himself

[walnutcookie]

tell me your headcanons for mac n cheese and cheddar RIGHT NOW!! /nf /silly

HI THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK AGSJDBDKFBSKRB /GEN THIS MAKESME SO HAPPY ,,,,

i think that if i were to go in depth about my headcanons and lore for them this post would be a bit long so heres some of the simpler ones X]

links lead to drawings ive made relating to my headcanons 👍

Cheddar Cheese

• cheddar is very. VERY tall. like 6'9" (funny number). Makes it worse because sometimes they like to wear heels

• uses all pronouns but mainly they/them :3 male/female honorifics

• a lesbian. Question mark ? still debating

• rogueforts cousin!!! Survived the blue cheese manor fire (which happened when it was just a teen)

• related to above if you know anything about my roguefort lore they grew up in a Not so great rich snobby family!! they were buxton blue cheeses child which makes cheesecake their sister as well. Dont ask where the accent came from let me have this JZVDKFBDK

• intersex and bigender - when growing up they were forced to fit into either "boy" or "girl" and didnt exactly fit either stereotype biologically or through their behavior so their parents were very frustrated with them. Turns out theyre both!!!

• it started as a joke because of ratatouille but. i am a firm believer in ratmouse cheddar. are they a rat? is he a mouse? both? Neither? no matter what they hide ears under their hat and paws under her gloves and a rat tail under their coat because i think its fun💥💥they should have rat/mouse features as a treat

• they have legs that are way too thin and not at all proportinate to tjeir body. i cannot stand drawing them because of this.

• resting :3 face

• very much cursed (it would take a few posts to explain this one)

• whatever this is

Macaroni

• shorter than cheddar but still on the taller side!! 5'11"

• uses he/him pronouns but he doesnt really care what pronouns are used on him. fem honorifics or anything he doesnt mind that either

• amab and genderfae :] (basically genderfluid without the masc part of the spectrum)

• lesbian

• older sister of my oc maccy cheese cookie (who was made before mac and cheddar were introduced HXBFJ). macaroni is 6 years older than them

• parents just Straight up abandoned him and his sibling as kids!! i could explain this one further but probably in another post

• it may be hard to believe but he is older than cheddar

• CANNOT STAND unsolved mysteries. having unsolved cases or puzzles makes him physically ill and he cant stand to eat or sleep when he doesnt know the solution

• related to above he despises cliffhangers and surprises and if he cant read a mystery novel in one full sitting it will EAT HIM ALIVE

• also related. Loves math! fun little puzzles that (almost) always have one logical solution. he does NOT however like math problems with multiple/no solutions

• easily startled by sudden loud noises or actions

• a lil chubby!!

• he has a little macaroni tail. sorry

as for my mac n cheese (ship) headcanons,, i cant explain them very well without context to my Full lore for the two but heres my attempt HVDKFB

• started as INCREDIBLY one sided (cheddar had romantic feelings for mac while mac had feelings of. Hatred)

• cheddar is incredibly easy to fluster because shes not used to being on the Recieving end of affection (cough cough for curse reasons cough)

• cheddar is also incredibly touch starved (cough cough for curse reasons cough)

• macaroni can just. Use cheddar as a bed. they are so fucking tall and wide he can just snooze on them

• they are so doomed toxictragic yuricore im going to kill them

YAAY thats all ill do for now but if anyone has any further questions i would love to answer

rbs ok!!!

[enderwoah]

ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE

(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)

tommy

he is phil's son smile

phil's most recent son at least

he's got like one more somewhere

he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since

his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground

but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?

(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)

(he gave up after the third one)

("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)

but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does

he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?

he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.

(it's a great excuse.)

he laughs like a kookaburra amen

he squawks when he gets scared

he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.

tubbo

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]

god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)

he simply does not know when to stop

he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed

(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)

he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well

so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working

he buzzes when he gets excited-happy

his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers

they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that

techno

wither hybrid (??)

how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither

he's an experiment

the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp

he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp

which sucks

withers get health from killing things

he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit

he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit

when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!

but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.

he's always tired

always exhausted

he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people

but he can only visit a few times and for very short

(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)

(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)

wilbur

phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling

he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things

you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back

it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep

even if youre going to give it back

just for your own peace of mind

phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people

of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)

but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later

all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)

being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death

"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"

"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"

"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."

techno.

he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)

he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...

and murder wilbur where he stood.

sneeg

has details on everyone on the server

you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg

its impossible

if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed

you find one and there are twenty more

he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof

sucks to suck ig??

he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people

he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)

he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)

phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)

niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)

contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar

if anything he gets

high-per

(get it)

(high-per)

(hyper)

he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone

phil

take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four

and you've got origins phil

he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'

its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma

if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style

(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)

"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"

god help you if you dare to have wings

poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo

phil can't help himself alright

do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?

no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!

it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too

but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...

ranboo

yes ur a peasant

yes ur poor

yes im cooler than u

what r u gonna do about it

the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!

given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing

he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed

(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)

not to wear

just to Have

one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours

he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear

(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)

(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)

it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is

living with all those people ^^^

truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon

nor is she a very kind queen

nor was the other queen

nor was her son

there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people

they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had

they cut off his wings in the middle of the square

he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child

but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain

he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life

this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him

(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)

(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)

[wh6res]

break | haechan

synopsis. haechan hates losing above everything else.

warnings. yandere themes, swearing

note. im soso sowi i cant add a read more break ;-; mobile tumblr sucks

five months under his roof and you still haven’t learned a single fucking thing yet. lee haechan has tried everything in the book. beating you up, threatening you or your closest people, depriving you of your senses for long periods of time, starvation, isolation—one time, he even locked you up in a freezing room and you really thought you’d die of hypothermia. your captor was in his wit’s end but he can’t help but fall for you even more the longer you refuse. there’s a sick sense of amusement swirling in his stomach when he sees flashes of weakness in your eyes. appearing when he comes to save the day, but it disappears as fast as he’d seen it, your glare as fierce as ever.

the both of you were creeping around each other, playing mind games to see who’s weaker, to see who will be the first to break, to surrender. but unfortunately for you, haechan hates losing above everything else.

he may be at his wit’s end but so were you.

he can feel it in his gut that your complete and utter surrender to him is right around the corner. he just has to wait. after all, the mind games have gone longer than he deemed fit.

“i said i want to go home!” you screech from the other side of the room, hands zip-tied and legs chained to the wall, blindly kicking away the tray of food he gave you. “are you deaf? can’t you hear me? I WANT TO GO HOME! I WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY!”

haechan is acting weird these days.

usually, when you’ve been ‘misbehaving’ as he so likes to put it, he wastes no time in jumping into another sick punishment. but lately, he’s been—how do you say it? calmer... indifferent...

it’s like he’s had enough of your shenanigans and you don’t know whether to feel relieved or not. is he giving up? is he growing tired? does this mean he’ll let you go? or does this mean he’ll kill you and truly get rid of you? is everything just an act? is it the calm before the storm?

haechan sits on a cheap plastic foldable chair across from you, unfazed as he continues to eat the meal he’s prepared. you don’t hear a single thing from him other than the occasional loud munching of his food.

what the fuck?

alas, he speaks.

“you’re trying to make me jealous, stop it.”

you shiver at his monotonous voice, refusing to believe you’ve found something far worse than his anger and fury. haechan has always had this flair for the dramatic. his features, always so expressive. his actions, always so loud and bold. he was anything but reserved. the “normal” haechan would be forcing your head down a bucket of ice cold water by now… so, what changed?

he isn’t even looking at you right now, too busy stuffing his mouth with the meal he cooked.

“i don’t even fucking like you, why the fuck am i going to make you jealous?”

oh, how badly does haechan want to shut you up right now but he has an inkling that it’s what you deliberately want—for him to lose his cool. but he’s not going to give his prisoner the satisfaction of taking their bait.

haechan sighs loudly, standing up to his full height. you don’t even flinch before him, glaring at him with as much hatred as you can muster. he’s never met anyone as stubborn as him and holy shit it’s making his joggers tent.

“what are you doing? don’t come any closer!” you scream, pushing yourself farther away from him until you feel solid concrete behind you. he pays you no heed, continuing to silently stalk towards you as you cower like a mouse.

he’s acting creepier than usual. what the fuck has gotten into him?

“fucking hell—lee donghyuck! i swear… don’t come any—”

“just forget about them, alright? i know it’s going to be hard, but you can’t think about them anymore,” he pushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“like hell i won’t!” you reply ferociously, pulling against your restraints. “you’ll never break me! you’ll never make me love you, you fucking monster! my parents will come, i know they will!”

your glassy eyes make his cock twitch. you were just too beautiful. “no one’s coming to save you, darling. they won’t come. but don’t worry… i’ll take good care of them, too. anything for you.”

“what… what do you mean?”

for the past five months you’ve come to realize your captor is rather disciplined. he hates when things get complicated and it was an advantage for you because it meant he won’t touch your family or anyone else. because after all, one too many numbers in a body count is bound to get messy one way or another.

but that night, haechan had left you screaming in the basement until your voice grew coarse—not because of anything sexual, no, he has never forced himself onto you… yet. but your body has never fought against the restraints as much as you had.

because when he presented to you two red rings on the palm of his hand, it was only a little later did you realize the rings were actually made of silver and were coated with red. the designs intricate and familiar until the realization struck you like a boulder.

“DONGHYUCK! WHAT DID YOU DO?”

they were your mom and dad’s wedding rings.

[p2iimon]

okay heres the post about deltarune. spoilers. lol

the sprites are so good. susie and ralsei make such great faces

noelle gave susie chalk and was that bc i chose the hanging out alone in the closet option?? bc that wasnt in the stream

ralsei shows more skin in this one

susie and lancers high five lmaooo

anyone else notice that rudinn who calls it the [savename]town (i dont remember which name that one is. i think its the name you choose for yourself the one on the save? anyway)

the king like “well i wasnt really gonna throw him” like lancer definitely was just unaffected. like emotionally

kris’s castle bedroom makes me think of asriel,,,, like. the trophys on the shelf,,, and the stars? idk

did the original starwalker only come bc i talked to them in chapter one or does that happen for everyone

i TOTALLY called berdly everyone was like “yall think noelle isnt gonna be a main character? hm?” but like ignoring berdly. even with the soul theory its like “kris is cyan and ralsei is green and noelle is orange and susie is purple and lancer is blue and who knows with yellow its a mystery” it was always berdly

also i thought hed be. a little better. like he did not get that much better.

how much choice is there to join berdly. dont tell me im gonna check myslef

i always feel bad for hurting the characters bc im bad at video game but especially noelle blaming kris for the mouse thing. no i swear. they dont want to do this. well. not this obnoxiously at least.

being alone for the like. 5 minutes was terrible. theyre so lonely :(

noelle doesnt want to call kris her friend which is sad both if its bc she doesnt think theyre close enough or if its bc she doesnt like them that much

mettatons dress !

spamton was weird i liked him though. it looks like im missing something though. i was alone the one time i saw him,,,, so,,,,

so ralsei why did lancer turn into a statue but YOURE fine. weirdo. freak. evil liar.

i wish i made the duck i was like “im NOT gonna make the duck this time ive never seen anyone not make the duck” but it wouldve been better if i did

SUSIE. TAIL. the whole thing was cute though

i cant believe berdly is only into gamer lesbians. rip

this was about the point i realized,,, noelle hardly changed color and berdly DIDNT so ?????????? what

ralsei is like “you know that will horribly kill everyone right?? you fucking idiots?” NO WE DID NOT????? HUH???? this fucker

at this point i put, and i quote “kris is the knight and if i end up being right all of you owe me $50 ive thought there was some connection since day 1 bc !!! kris is a knight and why!! would there be kris the knight who is also a weird human and The Knight who makes the fountain and the fountains benifit kris so !!!” we will address this later

why is kris uncomfortable with seeing other humans :(

it does confirm monsters arent buried, its symbolic and probably religious considering the location, but that doesnt answer all the questions about blood and monsters and humans and souls and stuff.

it ISNT a good thing that asriel felt the need to confess his sins. but it is funny.

what ! happened ! in ! the ! bunker ! kris !

its good to see shyren :)

i said this on instagram before ch2 came out but like fuck no napstablook is not a cop you cant. no. undyne? i get why he chose undyne. asgore even. like bad move but i understand? but napstablook? that is a snail farmer

the grocery store is bigger than grillbys. hey sans w

also Fucking Are You Serious Sans I Have Been Waiting To See Papyrus For 3 Years And You Say Not Today For Fucking What

also asgore! in that whole scene! wow! please stop talking. fucking “onky donky”

maddy and mettaton and napstablook all live in that little house. and also maddy calls them blooky. and i dont WANT to wait for tomorrow to talk to mettaton again i want to talk NOWW tomorrow is in YEARS and costs MONEY

onionsan called them hyper-potato-mouse even though i chose kris and i know i chose kris bc i did it today

whatever happened in the bathroom there. “they do this sometimes” uh hey. why.

anyway all of you owe me $50 gn

[cottoncandy-jester]

Lie down darling it's time for a dream

Bakusquad with a bara crybaby S/O

You may ask yourself"proxy what's this?!"

To answer youe question I have no idea I just want to indulge okay?!

Plus come on, a big buff reader being a bottom for their shorter lover is just amazing how could I not?!

Katsuki bakugo

Honestly he was the reason you cried the first time you guys met

He finds you to be both annoying and adorable

The way you hide behind him though despite you being taller makes his ego puff up

He is very soft around you and tries not to make you cry but sometimes he cant help himself

If he's the one who made you cry he was just aggressively kiss you while mentally screaming at himself for being so dumb

Anyone who makes you cry is dying

Even if you flinch cause of someone they are dying

Your soft behavior calms him down though if he's amped up though

Your tallness does irritate him though like who TF said you could be tall!

Is constantly yanking you down to kiss you

If anyone teases him about being the shorter one he goes boom

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST CAUSE IM SHORTER DOESNT MEAN SHIT"

Let's everyone know that he's top dog between you two by biting your neck everytime you make out so others could see it

Speaking of make outs..when you cry during making out it makes him FERAL!

"look at the little baby, you're crying cause it feels so good eh? You want more kisses? Heh. Whatever"

You sniffle softly as bakugo run his fingers through your hair while straddling your waist. Today was a hard day during class and thw stress made you break down, you had to fight against bakugo and of course you going easy on him pissed him off so he snapped at you.

The two of you now sat in the dorm lounge while bakugo tried to stop your blubbering by kissing your tears away. A feeling of guilt weighted his chest down as he petted your hair and let you nuzzle your face in his chest if you wanted.

"come on [y/n] I said I was sorry, I didn't fucking mean it..so stop. I love you"

His soft whispers in your ear made you start to settle down and he smiled at the soft kisses he felt against his chest and neck. He simply sighs softly before picking his head up only to see deku and mina staring at the two of you with a crazy look. Bakugo growled loudly but looked at you before holding his anger since he didn't want you to cry again.. he'll kill them later for now you were the most important thing on his mind.

Eijirou Kirishima

This boy is crazy about you!

Like you are perfect in his eyes and he is constantly praising you til you are super red

He liked your height cause it's fun to hug you from behind or compare hand sizes

He gets pouty when he tries to kiss you but you are too tall like lean down so he can kiss your perfect face

He finds your fragile behavior super cute like you're shyness makes him smile

He will punch anyone who makes you cry like he almost got into a fight with bakugo when he made you cry

He gets annoyed if anyone calls you scary looking or asks if you're some delinquent cause you're tall

"please don't talk about him that way! He's really sweet and that is gonna hurt his feelings!"

Honestly cuddles for days

Your chest make him drool

If your hero costume has any part of your chest or even shirtless he is gonna stare

Work out dates together are to be expected

Seeing you get fit makes his knees weak

"i-i can't do sit up when y-you kiss me like that"

Your shaky voice made the redhead hold back a laugh as he sat infront of you holding your feet. He kissed you everytime you came up and after ten of those you were flustered and too shy to go on. Kirishima found your behavior so adorable that he just couldn't help but wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek

"can't help it! My manly man is just so cute!"

You whined softly at his praise before you found yourself shyly nuzzling your face in the male's neck

"kiriii~ you're embarrassing me"

"oh? Can you not handle my compliments? What if I call you manly and handsome? What about cute oh and sweet! Not to mention you are just perfect..so perfect"

The praise was too much for you and you started to feel dizzy. You fell limp in the male's arms which made him panic so he pulled your face back from his neck to look at you only to see you were all red and freaking out

"k-kiri..called..me.. perfect-"

Your muttering made Kirishima laugh nervously before he kissed your head softly.

"okay tall guy let's cool you off before you explode"

Denki kaminari

If you thought Kirishima was bad with the praise denki is worse!

All his pervy energy is poured onto you and you can't handle it

Like constant praise and affection

Also..chest...man boobies is his weakness

His face is in-between your chest 90% of the time when you're together

Not only that but constant groping your chest

"[y/n]..your chest is like a girl but better! Sooo soft!"

As far as your crying he is the one to make you laugh when you're stressed or panicked

Will get hella pissed if someone were to make you cry

If he catches you crying best believe is will smother you with kisses and love to the point where you are flustered and laughing

As far as your height he is totally jumping on your back or asking if you can pick him up every once in a while

Will brag about you to everyone..like everyone

"[y/n] is so cool! They are so strong! plus their muscles are so sexy!"

Will say pervy this about tour chest to other people as well..like he has no shame!

"heh. During training his hero outfit ripped and i saw his yummy boobs!"

"y'know [y/n] is a dude rig-"

"gahhh! I'm so lucky! His cup size is like triple some of the girl sizes!"

You let out a shaky sigh as you heard a muffled groan from the male sitting in your lap with his face buried in your chest, well at least he was alive.

You were on your bed playing animal crossing while denki had his head buried in your shirtless chest. He requested you to be shirtless and you agreed since he's seen your shirtless before but this was getting kinda worrying

"h-hey denki, are you okay? You've been pressed against my chest like this for an hour..can you breathe?"

When you got no response you panicked before pulling denki back slightly only to see his face which was filled with bliss and joy, his eyes sparkled and his face flustered with the lack of air while blood dripped down his nose

"you're bleeding!"

You felt tears brim in your eyes as you tried to move to get a towel but denki simply latched onto you and nuzzled his face into your chest.

"I'm fine! I just- really like your warm chest"

You shivered lightly when denki gazed up at you with a sly grin

"you are too cute I can't help but cling to you like this y'know? My cute guy with such a cute body"

Before you could speak you winced at the feeling of a bite on your nipple

"d-denki!!"

"heh oops-"

Sero hanta

TEACH HIM YOUR WAYS

he wants to know how you got so big and buff like huh?!

Honestly when you two first met he was scared of you

Now he just loves you lots and lots!

He isn't about huge PDA like denki and Kirishima but he will hold your hand and even kiss it from time to time

Best believe he will tape someone's mouth shut if they make you cry

He finds your fragile behavior really cute and you have gained the nickname bunny cause of it

He loves touching your muscles and just cuddling with you

If he's the reason you ever cry expect him to do everything in his power to cheer you up

Sero looked at your weeping form curling up in the bed, you two got into a simple argument that left you in tears. He can't even remember what you two were fighting over but it was all stupid now, the male gulped thickly as he reached out and touched your hair before crawling up next to you so he could see your crying face.

"hey..bunny, look at me babe"

With a slight hesitance you faced him and felt him a kiss your tears away while holding tour hand tightly in his

"whose the best boyfriend in the world?"

You didn't speak but only whined lowly as soft sniffles escaped you but you were starting to smile so that was good. Sero simply kissed along your cheek and your lips very softly

"come on, who is it?"

"m-me.."

"yeah it's you, I'm sorry"

His voice sounded shaky as you two locked eyes before you hug sero close and mumbled out a soft I love you which he returned before you two cuddle close enjoying the other's warmth.

Mina ashido

Soft boy lover #1

Like she is so in love with how soft you are it's ridiculous

She adores hugging you and clinging onto you even if it makes you super flustered

She likes showing you off and bragging about you whenever she can

"[y/n] is so cute when he gets all flustered! He is just the cutest thing ever!"

Please let her give you many kisses

Will go protective mode if she sees you crying

"who did it! I'll fight them! No one makes my cutie cry!"

She wants to train with you as much as she can cause you are strong and she wants to get stronger

Loves to sit in your lap all the time

You have a bad habit of looming over her when you want something and it scares everyone

They don't know if you wanna kiss her of kill her

You found yourself standing over the girl while she was innocently chatting with jirou, you were as quiet as a mouse so she didn't notice you but it was clear you wanted something. You really wanted attention but wasn't sure how to get Mina's attention

Would it be rude if you were to hug her from behind? What about if you tao her shoulder to gain her attention? You stood there thinking but to anyone else you looked absolutely bloodthirsty.

"uh- hey mina, I think your boyfriend doesn't like me talking to you..so creepy"

You snapped out if it and winced at the insult, creepy?

You let out a hush sniffle as mins turned to face you only to wrap her arms around you and hug you tightly, she noticed your tears and shot jirou a quick glare if annoyance.

"a-am I creepy, mina?"

"oh, sweetie no! Of course not! You're my teddy bear, lean down"

You did as she said and leaned down before feeling her grab your face and cover it with kisses upon kisses. You felt your face flush as you whined lowly

"minaaa p-people are staring!"

"let them stare! They can all see how much i love you!"

You hugged the girl close as she kissed your face and you shyly returned the attention though you felt like dying from how flustered it made you.

[albino-whumpee]

An old thing 5

First

Continued from here

I´m quite proud of this part. Do you remember the Walmart man? Yeah. More angst and sick fic than whump, but there.

CW// Non Con, Dub Con, NS*W at times, dehumanization, slavery, human trafficking, escape attempt, blood, broken noses, implied death, regain of identity, whump of minors, manhandling, prong collar, past torture, creepy and explosive whumpers, physical and emotional abuse.

Everything will be tagged and if there´s tags to be added, tell me please.

Dimitri was speechless.

“Can you repeat that, please?” He said.

“You’re too close with Kit, we’re gonna send you to a vacation house. Dont worry about Roahn, you will see her when it’s the mounting” Layo said across the table. Kit and Danae were playing outside.

“Im…I…when?” He asked visibly stressed.

“Maybe on saturday. The vacation house is on the other side of the country, next to Sunnyhills Beach, I think you know whose property is it”

Dimitri knew.

His last master before them.

The one who had tried to kill him with the prongs collar.

“His son will be taking good care of you, so you better behave and do as he says understood? He wont accept escapes like us. You know his methods already anyways, you will know whats better for you” He said sipping on his coffee. “Ah, but you’re still ours. If he thinks he is entitled to damage you, He wont see the end of it”

“U-Understood…” Dimitri said still cleaning his plates. He had time. If he hurried up, maybe he could escape tomorrow. While they were on their cocktail party.

“I gotta believe I can do it” He told himself

—

Report came and Dimitri explained how he could the plan for the next day to Kit. How he would take him to that place.

“With Jen and Roahn?”

“Yes with them too” he smiled. “But you gotta tell me if they’re sleeping”

“Master was drinking a lot and Master was already asleep”

“Alright Kit. Ill show you something but you must not say anything ok?”

“Ok!”

He took out the improvised key from a vase and tainted the lock until he opened it.

“You could get out all this time?”

He sighed “No. Only on important moments. Now shhh” he put his finger on his mouth. “Come on Ill get you to your room but silence”

Kit put his lips together and followed him to his room. An spacious yet small little place with only the necessary and some toys. He was relieved he didnt live like them.

Dimitri put him to sleep.

“Goodnight Dimitri see you tomorrow?”

“Goodnight Kit. See you tomorrow” he said as he gave him a kiss on his forehead.

He closed the door silently.

Silent as a mouse, he went to his office. In all those years they had never guessed he had a key. So they had never bothered to lock the office. Dimitri knew perfectly where the copies were, but he knew keeping them would be too evident so he took them and made an improvised and quick copy of them with plaster.

He only needed to wait a few hours for it to harden.

He went as fast as he had gotten in but heard steps and hid quickly.

“Fuck…” Layo’s voice. He was going to the bathroom. And he would pass around the office for that.

Dimitri breathed quickly as he noticed. Was it that way he would end up? He took a stone decoration from a table and was ready to smash it on his head when he heard:

“Master? I can’t sleep!” Kit cried.

“What the…go to bed, Kit” the man said walking towards him.

“I can’t! Tell me a story! please, master!”

“Ugh what a pain is one am…Alright, Alright, coming go to your bed, Ill go take a piss before that…”

Dimitri held tight to the artifact.

“No!! Now!!”

“Argh! What a kid! Ok ok” he heard the door shutting.

Dimitri left the stone on its place and ran quietly to the cell. He closed it again and started working.

At 7 am it was ready. Later, Dimitri was preparing their masters for a full day outside when Layo said:

“Dont try anything funny Ok?” As he was locked up again. He had to hold the urge to laugh on his face.

“Understood”

Kit came running down a few minutes later.

“They’re gone!” He had told him.

Dimitri stood up. With backpacks on hand.

“Its time, Kit”

—

Dimitri got out of the cell and went upstairs. The house was empty. Or so it seemed.

“Kit” Dimitri held the boy’s small shoulders “I need you to go check on the door if there’s somebody. I’ll go get them ok? If theres someone dont scream it” he took the house phone and made it ring pressing a button “you do this and let the phone ring three times. Alright?”

The kid nodded. Dimitri gave him his binoculars back.

“Go see, explorer” he told him before the kid ran off.

He then made a little jump and sprinted towards the stairs. He went to the door where Roahn was and knocked three times. Her voice was husky.

“Dimitri?” She called

“Roahn, it’s me. We’ve gotta go. Now. Can you handle it?” He asked her through the door. A cough.

“Yeah” she said “always”

“We will take you to a doctor. I swear.” He said looking down and putting the keys on.

Roahn had been very sick for weeks. She couldnt give her enough milk and was very weak. Refusing to eat even. Miraculously, Jen was healthier than ever.

Finally the door opened and Roahn had her baby on her skinny arms. Eyebags dark in her face. Yet the light on her eyes were strong. He held her after giving her a hug.

“Lets go” he said as he helped her walk through the house. “Kit is waiting” that line made her sob happily.

“Our baby…” she said looking nowhere

They streamed downstairs, Roahn almost falling at various times due her legs not being able to move correctly. However Dimitri was there to hold her.

When they finally reached the kitchen Kit was waiting for them.

“Nobody on sight!” He said as if he was a sailor.

“Good” Dimitri told him “Kit, help Roahn out a bit would you?” He said putting her down to open the door. Kit sat besides Roahn and asked her if she was Alright to which she responded with a smile. Dimitri held the concrete key on his hand and inhaling deeply he unlocked the door.

The clicking sound of freedom was on his ears as if it was music.

-

The four of them stepped out of the house to the secondary door. Not before putting coats with hoodies that covered their faces. Then they ran. Quietly, agitatedly, desperately. The four of them reached the door withut problems.

There was no one apparently.

The door was in a vine wall. It was easy to pass through it because the key Dimitri had was a copy of the master key he used to buy groceries.

He held them down for a bit while he opened the door. It was the last thing.

The last.

When he opened the door he saw the street and a fist on his direction. A man in black suit punched him making him fall. Roahn and Kit immediately tried to run away from the man, but Dimitri, even when hazy due the pain, used a close by rock to knock the guy out by hitting his head. The man fell and Dimitri was alert to anybody else coming to try and stop them. But there was no one.

“Roahn!! Kit! Its ok!” He yelled with blood going down his nose. They went out of their hiding spot and went back to Dimitri.

“Are you ok?” Roahn said cleaning the blood off his face and stuffing his nose with tissues.

“Yes, we just need to go now” he told her holding her hand a second.

“Is he dead?” Kit asked without taking his eyes off the fallen man. Blood came out of his ears.

“No” Dimitri answered him taking the kid by his hand and running past the body “he’s just unconscious”

They ran and ran and ran until they were on a plaza with a supermarket and a pharmacy.

They were free.

“Now where?” Roahn asked him visibly tired.

Dimitri took a look at Roahn holding Jen like she was a precious stone. Impressively calm. Kit was amazed by everything he saw.

“Now…we take these off” he told her taking his hands to his neck. Feeling the belt like collar and undoing it. He took it out carefully and slowly. Holding it in his hands, Kit could see clearly the old scars on his neck. It grossed the kid to think about how he got such hideous scars.

Dimitri knelt down to Kit and took his collar off too. Kit felt lighter than usual and couldn’t hold the instinct to touch his now free neck.

Dimitri smiled a bit and ruffled his hair before doing the same to Roahn.

Roahn dropped a tear when she felt that lightness on her neck. They looked at each other’s eyes for a second but Roahn pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on his neck and then on his lips.

“Yikes” said Kit watching them. They looked at the kid and laughed.

“Sorry Kit” Dimitri laughed.

“What about looking around for a place to stay, hun?” Roahn asked sweating cold. “We’re tired and we will need to hide for a bit…” she said.

“You feeling ok, Ro?” He asked him cupping her face with his hands. She nodded slowly “We will take the bus to Keith City, I’ll go buy the tickets and have a doctor check on you there ok?”

“Ok” she said.

Suddenly Jen started revolving and slapping Roahn’s face.

“Hey hey what is it Jen?” She asked her. Kit moving towards her.

“Dont cry Jen! It will be alright!” The kid said.

“Is she hungry?” Dimitri asked. Roahn blushed in embarrassment.

“I cant… feed her. I need some baby milk powder. Do we have some?” She asked Dimitri.

He started to search but it was in vain and he knew it.

“Kit” the kid shoot his head up from trying to comfort the now crying baby “could you tell that man there where could we get an electric chair for Roahn?” He asked signaling a person with a supermarket uniform not that far away.

The kid ran to him and asked him. The man was almost a geezer but his smile was really bright.

“It’s for your mommy there? Is she alright?” He asked Kit.

“Eh…Roahn? I hope so…” the kid said unsettling the man a bit.

“Not your mom? Its your auntie then? You two look alike a lot” he said again pulling the electric chair to the woman.

“We-we do?” Kit said finding himself a question.

“Here it is lady. Everything alright? You look a bit pale ma’am” he said helping her get into the chair.

“Yes, sir” she answered him not conscious of her formality.

The man found the people on his view with a woman with baby on arms crying out loud, the many bags and the very attractive man with tissues on his nose very strange. But it was a walmart. He had seen all kind of people go there. So he just walked away.

They put some of the bags in the electric chair and the others on the package service. Then they entered the market. Dimitri was used to go so he wasn’t as excited as the others. Yet he couldn’t hide his happiness of not feeling that uncomfortable thing on his neck. It was now in the trash. They went through the isles calming the baby with a toy that hypnotized her long enough for them to look at everything. Kit was amazed. Asking questions about this and that. Roahn looked at the pharmacy isle where there should be a doctor with longing. Dimitri didnt notice as he was coming back with baby milk powder on his hands.

In the end they bought a few more things. Like the toy and a magazine for Kit. As well as painkillers. The cashier recognized him and greeted him “Good morning!” Dimitri greeted back. “Is that your family?” The teen asked looking at Kit showing Roahn an article from his magazine.

“Yes” he answered blushing.

“Your kid is very energetic” she remarked.

“He is!” He laughed a bit “excuse me, Lana, where would I get bus tickets? We’re going to Keith City to visit my wife’s sister, but my card doesnt seem to work now…”

“Oh! Here would be fine. Two adults and a kid right?”

Dimitri payed for the bus tickets that would depart in two hours and met Roahn and Kit.

Roahn was a bit uncomfortable to leave the chair, but they got a taxi to the bus station so she didnt have to walk any longer. She was now green.

“Everything alright ma’am?” The taxi driver asked her while Dimitri fed Jen.

“Y-yes, sir. No need to worry. Thank you” she answered.

Kit extended his bag of chips to her.

“Want one Roahn? You dont look good…” He said.

“Im alright Kit. Just tired, that’s all” she ruffled his hair. Kit pulling it down annoyed. “Ill be taking one, though” she said eating a chip slowly.

She rested her head On Dimitri’s shoulder who gave her a kiss on her forehead.

“Im not ok” she mumbled.

“We will get you a doctor there I promise” he whispered to her, giving her a kiss.

The rest of the way Kit talked with the driver asking him questions about his travels.

When they arrived at the bus station, they were good friends.

They got there just in time and went up the bus. It was a four hour ride, but all of them were exhausted and fell asleep as soon as the bus started moving.

Dimitri woke up an hour before getting there.

It was the first time he didn’t have a collar and walked around freely. It had been strange for him to book sits because of his lacking of last name. But he had come up with one last second.

His name was Dimitri Holberg.

Maybe it was made up, but he had an identity now. He wasn’t bee, yellow, dog or dildo.

He was a human being and his name was Dimitri Holberg.

He had a family and a mission to reunite them all.

With determination they arrived at Keith’s city.

[crowsent]

so i started watching kings avatar pt. 2: spoiler edition electric boogaloo

condensed reaction from all episodes but first things first:

i already waxed poetic about the characters and set design of kings avatar in my first post so ill get to the point here:

lowkey thought that the excellent eras logo was the flag of fucking canada for a hot second there i mean

fucking seriously????????????

but enough about discount canada look at this man

look at him

“im very mad” said with a smile

i fucking love him

..

i fucking hate episode 2 timestamp 7 minutes tho

not posting any pictures but

the spiders

so creepy

with the scuttle scuttle sound

ew

no

i know the game has good sound design but was realistic spider animation/sound really necessary???

..

someone who can gif please please please gif that moment where excellent era announces ye qius retirement please. like. the fancy weapon twirls, the fire, the snow, the leaves. that moment was so fucking beautiful

..

xiao tang is uhhhhh so cool?????? what the fuck???? beating players in a game she doesnt play purely off of hand speed and apm???? and then joining that same game to beat ye xiu someday?????? amazing. 10/10

..

i am gaining more understanding of this man as i watch this silly lil anime what the fuck

..

real talk tho

i want glory to be a real game

the mechanics are interesting, the class systems seem p balanced, and there are plenty of in-game systems to take advantage of

would be nice to actually physically play it tbh

..

“the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment”

..

lowkey tho why is steamed bun out here trying to guess everyones sign, trying to get everyone else to guess his sign, trying to attribute everything to signs... bro you aint in fucking homestuck. i see no fucking grey skin or orange horns on you. chill the fuck out and stop trying to astrologise everything

..

mucheng is precious. id kill for her. her devotion. her dedication.

..

i need the plantago seed duel as a separate video. it is immaculate.

the rolling camera pan, the fast strikes, the colours, the music

so good

..

who is this man

“the brawlers style, to put it nicely, is “free-willed”

honestly, its a complete mess”

what a legend

AND he figured out ye xius true identity just from playing one match w him. can i ask for more? i think not

..

..

thank you to the animators that made the ye xiu v jiexi look so goddamn good. the fury and panic that went into the animation of their fight, frantically clicking the keyboard, moving the mouse around, that fire effect where the floor cracks? godtier

amazing

..

lowkey why does steamed bun irl look like that????

..

“the brain is a useful thing, make sure to bring yours next time”

bruh just fucking murder the man why dont you

..

the man aint really subtle tho

..

“lord of analysis”

bruh

you got fucking exposed

“why dont your footsteps make any sound”

yo why is the character design so good???????

this is unfair

every character so far is unique and has good design

this is unfair

..

can the translators fucking

TRANSLATE

i cant read chinese

and there is no way on gods green earth am i going to call my father for every time the translators dont translate the text on screen bc then he might as well just watch the anime with me

its right fucking there man

translate this shit

..

so mr tactician over here said that the upper limit for unspecialised is lvl 95 but methinks that mr ye xiu is gonna find a way to overcome this

..

does

does GLORY have proximity chat or are these morons ‘shhh’ing each other bc they are THAT dedicated to roleplay

..

shaotian

shaotian shaotian shaotian

i love you

fucking chaotic chatterbox bastard

this motherfucker tripped on his goddamn feet and ye xiu IMMEDIATELY made fun of him

can you believe

i want what they have

i want that friendship motherfucker

amazing

“huang shao’s trash talk is magnificent”

and this fucker got everyone convinced he isnt huang shaotian purely bc of his ability to annoy other people and his dedication to keeping his identity a secret

can i ask for more?

i think not

look at this

i want their fucking friendship man

this motherfucker is fucking talking so goddamn fast

what the fuck

“who is chanting prayers?”

BOI you have no goddamn room to speak with this speech bubble wall youve made

“where did you find this clown?”

AND YE XIU CALLED YOU OUT BOI ye xiu straight said “what gave you the right to call someone else a clown” and he is CORRECT

..

okay i know for a hot second i keeep talking about shaotian but like

ye xiu easily slotted back into my favourites list bc this motherfucker is talking to the customers of the internet cafe WHILE HES PLAYING THE FUCKING GAME like

the big dick energy

yes he goddamn is boys and what the fuck are you gonna do about it? thats right. NOTHING. bc hes just that good at the game

..

MUCHENG CARRY

MUCHENG CARRY

MUCHENG CARRY

trap these motherfuckers girl

FUCKING CORNER THEM

CARRY CARRY CARRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

..

so

ye xiu really just ambushing the people who wanted to kill him by waiting outside the dungeons and then killing the players and then he even has the audacity to say “hi”

fucking big dick energy king right her folks

..

"as for that ghostblade,

shaotian with the fucking callouts

..

GET YOU A GUY BITCH

GET YOU A MAN WHO CAN BE THIS FUCKING CONSIDERATE

“mu mu”

mucheng carried and now ye xiu fucking protecting her identity

WE STAN

..

“every opponents weakness... i remember all of them”

my understanding of this man...

..

bro why the fuck does vice captain zhang eat so fucking SLOW

..

so vice captain zhang plays an mmo like a fucking game of chess i see

..

bruhhhhhhhhhhhh

the desert dust v one autumn leaf fight

bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

the skill

the mastery

the animation

the SONG

THE SONG

YALL THE FUCKING SONG THAT PLAYED DURING THE DUEL

..

[blookmallow]

aaaand goodbye teruteru

------

the what now 

I GOT STUCK HERE FOR SO FUCKING LONG BC THEY GIVE YOU THIS. PILE OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE INSTRUCTIONS AND THEN NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE

in dr1 they had a similar mechanic where you had to hit the buttons at the right tempo to knock out their statements, which was also confusing but i was starting to get decently good at it by the end of the game, but in this one the timing is TOTALLY OFF and i kept missing every single one and couldn’t figure out why, then realized it worked sometimes if i held down the button instead of just clicking it like you do in dr1 (which they didn’t explain!!! in this one!!!) but eventually figured out if i just like. double clicked on the beat i could break them for some reason. i dont know why. it works and i cannot explain how 

but then at the end when you reach the final strike, you have to put together a phrase out of four words to refute “where could the weapon have been?” and i was CONVINCED it was “On The Meat Bone” (even though technically it was hidden In the bone i guess) and i didnt realize i had the phrase wrong and thought i just wasn’t hitting it correctly for some reason so i failed this like 6 times before i finally realized it was MEAT ON THE BONE 

i understand owari’s not the type to give a shit probably but do you really wanna eat meat off of the skewer that was very recently repeatedly stabbed into a guy’s abdomen 

even if he cleaned it off before he put it back thats still like, fucked up lmao 

monokuma took care of it though i guess :’ ) 

kind of alarming that he’s capable of eating now, but 

THANK YOU NANAMI 

,,,,ok

I WILL SAY that the final closing sequence is WAY better in sdr2, it’s way way clearer what you’re looking for, the blanks give you hints as to what might go there, the picture options give you descriptions of what you’re looking at (frequently i know exactly what im trying to explain but cant figure out which picture goes where bc they’re just. incomprehensible out of context) and THEY FINALLY FIXED THE SCROLL THING :’) 

i dont know if its just broken as hell with a laptop trackpad and maybe it works with a mouse (or maybe it’s just not designed for pc in the first place, this was originally. ps vita or something i think) but the scroll sensitivity was SO broken in dr1 i spent most of my time just trying desperately to scroll to the thing i needed without scrolling past it 

i still have that problem when im trying to pick which truth bullet to fire but thats not As bad as this part was in dr1 at least

ok so my bIGGEST PROBLEM WITH ALL THIS, is WHY DIDN’T TERUTERU TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS 

if he Knew what komaeda was up to (and he did, it’s confirmed right after this) why didn’t he just go tell not-togami right away. even if he thought nobody would believe him, that guy would have taken it very seriously since he already was on his guard and knew there was a threat 

i mean i guess like. he saw an opportunity to kill komaeda, which he could feel justified about bc he knew komaeda was already planning a murder, and if he got away with it he could escape but that still means he was willing to sacrifice everyone else 

like he does give kind of a weak attempt at asking if it counts as an exception because it was sort of self defense (komaeda couldn’t kill him from where he was but he was gonna kill Someone so he was defending. someone) but he still.... knew komaeda was going to kill somebody and made the choice to just kill him himself without warning anyone or saying Anything and then kept that fact to himself too

back in dr1 again we had this similar situation in the first trial where leon actually was acting in self defense (which is Confirmed in the manga, he doesn’t get a chance to explain it in the game) and didn’t tell anyone but like... none of them knew yet if they could get off on a technicality and we don’t know if he might’ve been hoping for that, and he didn’t know sayaka was dangerous, he didn’t make the conscious decision to go kill her without telling anyone. he probably should have asked someone else for help when she lost it but his intention was to get in there to talk it out, so like. he tried to de-escalate the situation and became a killer by accident, teruteru had plenty of time to get help and decided to kill instead. and “hey byakuya i think komaeda is planning something bad” would have been a completely logical thing to do, he would have taken it seriously and teruteru would be innocent in that scenario, vs “guys i think i just killed sayaka but hear me out i didnt mean to” would NOT have gone over well, nobody’s gonna help him or believe him when it’s Sweet Dear Precious Sayaka, naegi could barely believe she attacked him even when they proved it with evidence 

i dont know i feel like teruteru had a lot more intent behind what he did. even if he would have been absolutely fucking justified in killing komaeda and i wish he had done it correctly :’  ) i think the “i dont care about taking everyone else down with him” is way more clear-cut here 

anyway, goodbye little bastard man 

motherfucker

i still CANNOT follow komaeda’s logic here 

he’s obsessed with the Ultimates... and believes in them SOOO Much :) he’s desperate to see them overcoming the ultimate despair... so he’s gotta kill somebody... to induce ultimate despair... so they can overcome it... i GUESS???

wouldn’t defeating monokuma and making it out of here on their own strength without resorting to murder at all be the ultimate hope triumph though. what are you DOING, komaeda

what is W R O N G wiTH YOu

well there he goes

i really wish someone would

P LE ASE DO 

AKANE OWARI MY QUEEN 

its not. clear but im pretty sure she Did punch him

its a crime that we dont get to see this, but 

i mean. she’s right 

i B U K I 

[time-2-vent]

So. This is a master post about my grandma. Some of this has already been talked about here but I posted this on my private fb and wanted to keep it here too.

.

Okay.. so. This is gonna be a long and detailed one.

Ive never had a space where I could vent about my grandma to more than just people close to me without being blamed or her finding out. The only family I have on here is my mom and im hiding this post from her for various reasons. I understand if many of you can't read all the way through this because its gonna be a lot. I just want the people around me to have a better grasp on exactly why im so depressed.

Before I start im gonna add a trigger list because there is a LOT and im probably going to be very emotional typing this. A lot of it ive never spoken about publicly.

So for a list of TW:

Emotional, physical, sexual, and animal abuse, r*pe, p*dophelia, racism, su*cide, hospitals, ableism, be******ty mention, fatshaming, weight mention, f slur.

.

.

.

.

Okay. Im going to start at when I moved in with her. She tricked my mother into signing over custody of me when I was 10. When I was 9 years old I was forced into a mental hospital after being heavily overdosed on medications meant for adults to the point I was "sitting upside down in my chairs unresponsive and talking about tranquilizers" which i have no memory of. The hospital was probably the worst experience in my entire life and I was almost murdered by one of the older kids. After getting out of there I moved in with my grandma.

Throughout my life shes said and done so many horrible things to me. She would always yell and scream about the smallest mistakes. She used to pick me up by my hair. She was just fucking horrible to me.

Around the age of 10-11 when I started going through puberty she would always make fun of the way my genitals looked. She would ask me to stretch my labia out and move it around. Specifically she would ask me to "show me your bat wings". It was fucking disgusting but as a child I thought it was just haha funny joke.

For a while I thought I just imagined that until my mom brought it up to me and how she CAUGHT HER saying that to me multiple times. So I had confirmation that I wasn't just imagining it. I once confronted her about it and she immediately started crying (ive only seen her cry 3 times in my entire life) and told me if I ever said that again she would tell everyone in my family that I was a "prostitute" and would make everyone in my family hate me, and that it was my mother who did that to me.

My mom lived with me and my grandma for a few years but eventually moved out on her own because she couldn't handle my grandmas abuse.

My grandma dated my moms r*pist, which was my moms uncle, and told my mom she never got r*ped, and said my mom only fucked him for "attention and cigarettes". My mom was 12 at the time.

My grandma told me at 15 that the "only reason you think you're trans is because you got diddled as a kid"

My grandma called me a whore when I started becoming sexually active despite her having her first child at 16.

She once told me I was "just like my father" who is a sex offender and abused me as a child. I was also forced to give my at-the-time step brothers head when I was 3-5 and was taught that it was okay.

My grandma has called me every possible name in the book. Anytime she does something wrong its automatically my fault. She told me she would believe that im trans when I showed her my dick (at 16).

Shes incredibly rude and racist, says she hates how she can't understand Asian people. She's said the n word. She's made so many "jokes" about how "aggressive" Black people are. When my cousin found out he had Black in him she said, and I quote, "I always knew he had a n***r ass" which fucking disgusted me. Shes scoffed at my mother for limping. She scoffs at anyone disabled. Always says "you wouldn't catch me looking like that in public." She would tell my mom she was faking her pain. And coincidentally of all 4 of her kids, one was born with physical deformities. she says thats not the reason why, but she gave her up for adoption. She yells at anyone standing in her way who isn't aware. She is incredibly rude when she speaks to people to the point its embarrassing.

When I hung myself earlier this year and a friend came to pick me up she was yelling at me like "Oh so you went and tattled on me didnt you? Did you say oh boo hoo shes so abusiveeee!!" As I had literally just laid passed out in the snow from hanging myself.

When she found out I hung myself she bitched about how I had her snow boots and how she would have had to climb up the hill to find my fucking body as if it were a chore. She asked me if I wanted to be cremated out of nowhere and when I said no she replied "good I didn't want to have to pick your piercings out of your dead body" when I told her she made me want to kill myself she laughed at me and said "well then you'll never survive" my first suicide attempt was at 12 years old. A few weeks ago I started carving at my throat in front of her because im so desperate for her to LISTEN to me for 5 FUCKING SECONDS. I have legitimately cried on my knees and begged her to treat me like a person time and time again. She laughs at me and turns it around to my issues. She guilt trips me and makes me think everything is my fault. She calls me disgusting for having 1 or 2 shirts on the floor. She told me to MY FACE she will never see me as trans. Misgenders me, misgenders my friends. I jokingly told her one of my cis friends was trans, and when she left she asked me "does he really have a penis?" ABOUT A WHOLE ASS CIS WOMAN. She told me she ran over and killed a dog with a broken leg to "put it out of its misery" she would always use glue traps and I told her not to tell me about it so she waits until were in public and says "yknow whenever I catch a live mouse on one of the traps I throw it into a plastic bag and then go do the litter box to suffocate it". Shes threatened to make me pay the hospital bill when I called 911 because she was unconscious. She says horrible things to me EVERY FUCKIJG DAY. She's always making everying my fault all the time and sits and smiles while I'm sobbing and pouring my heart out because im tired of the abuse. Im so fucking tired. It goes on and on and on every day of my life. I literally slit my throat in front of her and she only stopped being mean for about a week. Im so depressed and mentally ill and this is beating on me every moment of my fucking life.

In not done but im shaking and need to stop typing for now

Edit: some other notable things, when my grandpa disowned me and stopped speaking to me for over a year she told me it was probably because of how disgusting I was. And "nobody wants to be around that".

She will ask me specific random questions about specific friends and if I dont know the answer or I forgot, she goes on a tangent about how terrible of a friend I am.

When I was cutting her hair she kept telling me I was doing it wrong, so I did it her way and she hated it and told me she's glad I didn't pursue hair because im terrible at it.

When my cat was dying she originally refused to take him to the vet because he was "just gonna die anyways so I might as well let him", then gave up her cat to the vet because she was peeing but didn't wanna take responsibility for that so she lied to them and said she showed up at her door and didn't tell them her age or even her name and that was so fucking cruel.

When she starts laughing at me sometimes she'll talk to me in a whiny "baby voice" and be like awwww, waaa im so abusedddd *mocks me crying*.

And she always talks in a tone that sounds pissed off and seems confused when I feel like I'm being scolded.

She gets in my face and puts her finger in my face and backs me into corners sometimes and then when I smack her hand out of my face she says she'll put me in jail for abuse.

Oh yea and simetimes when she gets mad at me she'll be like "ok GIRL" in the middle of me talking. Like its annoying and uncalled for.

I cant believe I forgot this holy shit. Years ago (was a minor here as well) I was attacked by my neighbors dog and it knocked me down and when I got home my grandma was accusing me of be******ty and said she was "watching it fuck me" and I was so fucking disgusted and hurt.. I try to block that from my memory because it was my third dog attack and I was traumatized.

She also regularly calls her brother a F@ggot. He is the only lgbt family member (he's gay) that i have.

She regularly fatshames people while only a few feet from them. And will whisper to me about how disgusting they look.

She asks for all of my friends deadnames and gets mad when I dont answer.

"I can't be abusive because I give you a home. I could have let social services take you."

"I cant be racist because my ex husband is Black"

"You must be living in a fantasy world where you make up shit that ive done."

"Id be depressed if I stayed in bed all day too."

"I need to learn to have lower expectations for you."

"I'm starting to resent you. So ill be taking 200$ a month for rent." (She has stopped this thankfully)(edit #2, she started taking it again im gonna be here forever lmao)

When I was underweight she would say things like "you look like an aids patient." And "Are you trying to look like your mother?"

"You're a hoarder"

[adhdyosafire]

  it took a fuckin while to draw these but alas here she is. i would have put her basic info DRAWN there 2 but the PAIN of lacking a pentab & using nothing but MOUSE is terrible but u kno ,,,, nya! both canon & variant verse will be explained below B”) just 4give my poor ass drawing skills

    basically her full name is kyana fletcher d.(aiki) mellington. she’s a british-japanese ( though she’s lived more in england rather than japan , thus was more used to their culture and language. she has visited her mother’s hometown several times though , but not as often. her accent is ever so slightly similar to bl/izzard’s tra/cer  ) . she’s about 23 y/o born on 05/26/19XX , about 6′5″ in height though originally 6′2″. her heels made her taller.  fluent in japanese and knows a little bit of french. she’s an IT engineer at mu/rkoff , yet also a web developer/designer and was responsible for several unsolved crimes. she uses a golden revolver to commit these crimes.

     she has undiagnosed psychopathy mainly because she rarely gave a shit about her mental health ( and highly doubts that she is sick in the first place , even believes in the contrary that she sees better than anyone else. smth like that. ) .

     her character , basically , is the villain in most stories who’s aware that they’re the villain and even lives up to it. think lor/d dom’s i’m the bad guy or sa/l just being the little shit he is. maybe less worse. or worse. you decide. she’s an antagonist and isn’t exactly the nicest girl around.

      PRE/BACKSTORY

            kyana grew up in a rather wealthy family with parents that loved her so. she’s a spoiled brat to say at the least , since her parents always gave her what she wanted and tried to make reason to her incorrect behavior . in school , she was typically a��‘’queen bee’’ but rarely had any friends despite her intimidating personality. it’s not like she cared too much though , what more she liked being an intimidating figure.  needless to say , she grew up in a life that was near to ‘ perfect ‘ but shit hit the fan eventually .

          her parents weren’t too young when they gave birth , thus they died of old age when kyana was around her teens. this distressed her , of course , but unlike most was quick to move on. her parents’ wealth was promised to be given to her when she was 18 but was first given to the hands of her aunt whom she moved in with. her aunt didn’t necessarily pay attention to her too much unlike her parents , and kyana wasn’t used to such treatment. she felt neglected for this state of her childhood but tried to not let it bother her too much . she had to move schools too eventually , and therefore lost her ‘popularity’ . she always got into several arguments and refused to be proven wrong even with evidence that she in fact was. her pride was something she never gave up . she eventually learned to become manipulative and put up a personality that was liked by many so her popularity once again increased and just like before , she was loved by many. but she uses this to her advantage to bully/bring down those who’ve disliked her at first , up to the point where they’ve chosen to leave the school / other terrible stuff. she never felt remorse for this however , only pure satisfaction. basically the same shit until she grew up to have a job. college was where she learned to toy with other’s hearts/feelings just for the sake of her amusement/sexual satisfaction for both men and women . her charms/good looks became a heavy advantage for her on this , along with her ability to flirt wisely though all deceived. ‘ falling in love ‘ was never a state kyana felt in her life because she couldn’t care less for romance .

       another thing about her personality as she grew up was she despised rules. she did not see the point in them , be it the commandments or laws in general. she has her own belief in where rules always rendered useless because  ‘ life’s short  , so ‘m gonna do whatever the fuck i wanna do ‘ . she finds it boring to follow such commands like robots being obliged to do tasks they’re programmed to do. this leads her to do some crimes for , again , the sake of her amusement or needs. be it greed for money or wrath / wanting revenge on some prick who’s pissed her off. she’s that petty. she was very power hungry too , which lead her to abandon her catholicism and worship herself instead.

      CANON

          kyana was still her ever so bitchy self in mount m/assive. of course she fucked with the other employees in more ways than one , and made sure she had a likable figure there as well. though she was aware of how terrible the shit they do in her workplace , it’s not like she could care less because ‘’ helping them nor pitying them would not be my benefit. perhaps , if i did , i’d achieve ‘justice’ as most would say , but it’s still an equivalence to golden rings to me. they’re both useless to me , hun. ‘’  so she continues on with her work.  the variants always piqued her interest though , and so ‘’playing’’ with them didn’t seem bad aka she wouldn’t really mind taking a trip inside the asylum herself ( AND BOY OH BOY WAS SHE WRONG ) 

          another thing she liked doing though was purely teasing with everyone else. think constantly bullying wa/ylon despite his size/timidness/reluctance to go ‘’rebel’’ with her ( and truthfully she does pity those who liked to follow rules , saying that they’re missing one hell of a life and just hopelessly becoming slaves to some dumb text printed on some paper  ) . she would literally cross the boundaries and even tease her boss as well since she didn’t enjoy being ‘bossed’ around or having someone more dominant/powerful than she is. ( lit tho she’d place a gun against his head n threaten him all she was n 5 seconds later lol bitch it’s a watergun i cant BELIEVE u peed urself!! )

     VARIANT

        in which her dream becomes true. this one’s still pretty much a huge wip but she generally takes the same path as wa/ylon , except she was either thrown in there w/o having to go to the morphogenic engine for either 1) angering jere/my and him just wantin 2 get petty revenge idk 2) kyana wasn’t mentally healthy in the first place and her little ‘gun’ incident made them throw her there , god im so unsure or 3) her just. getting in.  bc why not. ( i was supposed 2 add abt her following after way’s paths but that’s a WHOLE DIFF STORY OOPS ) 

       she unfortunately gets in unarmed though and loses her gun in the process. though she’s (thicc) physically capable of handling herself , her combat skills were not as great w/o the usage of weapons. thus in the path of meeting fra/nk she unfortunately gets her left breast cut off ( bc it was ‘’’meaty’’’ and thus more delicious yum YUM ) and manages to escape him . she’s slightly TERRIFIED at this point but not as much. the other variants didn’t matter to her nor did they have a large effect on her , what more they annoyed her with their stares/w/e im too lazy to explain it at this moment it’d be pretty obvious since she was a female wandering in the male ward

        much like both protagonists , traveling around the asylum made her sanity DROP further than it already was originally.  it’s basically the same or at least ALMOST the same torture as wa/ylon went through ( in which i’ll talk about in a more detailed way #soon(tm) ) . the gown , obviously , came from ed/die in attempts of making her into one of his brides ( and since she was presumbably the first female he’s come across with he’d be glad to finally found someone who was already PHYSICALLY acceptable for him so all he did was shove her in that damn dress ) but at this point she’s already snapped . she’d play for a while , but moments later had fought back and eventually killing the other inmate in the process , but not without saying ‘ thanks for the dress though , darlin~ ‘ in the process of murder. much like her previous criminal acts , she found slaughter amusing and p much did it to the other variants she’d come across w/ and called it an act of ‘mercy’ since it was so much better to die than let murkoff use them for experiments. think chris’ except his intentions were more linked to the wal/rider , in where kyana talked about the entire asylum in general.

      the guts were a faux flowercrown . since she still had to look pretty even in a godforsaken place , which should hint/show her VERY obvious narcissism .

       she has either stayed in the asylum as a wandering female variant in the male ward or if we’re following/making her path in the whistl/eblower story , she’d end up killing even jerem/y rather than miles’ wa/lrider doing it. same w/ waylo/n but AGAIN , that’s a different story(tm) that i’ll post abt soon

ONCE AGAIN NON FILTER FOR PROPER COLORS...

[ginasthoughtdump]

Addiction, therapy, future, mental illness, bad social constructing, and the huge danger of boredom

These questions keep coming up in my head and I haven't done a brain dump on these specific thoughts to get them out, so here we go:

1. Are people addicted to drugs because the chemicals have addicting attributes of is it more than that?

2. Are there better alternatives to therapy and why do we think the current models work?

3. Is mental illness genetic or the life experiences you encounter through living?

4. Do we give enough concern to the problem of "boredom" and it's correlation to depression?

5. Are the people designing our new social world really qualified to do so and what adverse effects are the results of these design?

A study that was done in 1978 tested the addiction to morphine in rats that I think is highly relevant today. Now there we plenty of other studies before that showed rats would prefer morphine water over plain water and that it was addicting and blah blah blah. The difference here is Alexander made a rat park, basically Disneyland for rats. When this alternative was introduced the rats, who are social creatures like us, took the regular water over ol' bama water( Alabama has the highest opioid use in the country). The idea being that if you give rats and therefore humans rewarding alternatives, you have less drug use.

(study) https://www.summitbehavioralhealth.com/…/overview-rat-park…/

I was talking with my kid who knows people who have addiction issues as many of us do now considering it will only be a matter of time before we all have a loved one in the same boat. One thing she noticed was that the people she knew that were home-schooled all seemed to jump right into every drug known to man once they got to the real world. She thought it was because they were deprived from the experiences of interaction and then kind of went loose with all the sensory enhancing once they got a chance. This is kind of what is happening in rural areas everywhere. Most addicts when interviewed in these small towns will tell you there is literally nothing to do here besides drugs. Of course there is no real job opportunity, no future of that changing, and it doesn't help that Big Pharma has just been allowed to send pallets of dangerous drugs to cities without any oversight. (Link) https://www.vox.com/…/opioid-epidemic-painkillers-west-virg…

Two things interest me in this information. One is that you could probably see a map of the issues with Opioids and where places have dick all to do, Buckeye ring a bell? Apache Junction isn't known for its parks people.

The other is this conservative idea that the decline of western society is in divorce, the liberal agenda, and not wanting to have this nuclear family model from the 60s. The way they combat this is by homeschooling their kids to hide them from influence and liberal programming. The problem is the result of this is drug addiction is ramping up more kills than Mortal Kombat.

The bible belt is hit very hard by drugs, my kid pointed out some terrible success rates with the rates of the kids she knows that were raised in home school christian settings and their battle with drugs. One example is two brothers both dying from alcohol excess, one a complete shut in with a heroin problem, the other who just slammed a bottle of fireball after heart surgery due to the effects. Overall it was 8 out of 10. The ones that joined the military seemed to avoid the issue the rest were swept away.

So the question is how dangerous is boredom? How dangerous is not having prospects of a future? I think the rat park is an example of idle hands make devil's work. We know that parents that get their kids into extracurricular activities have better outcomes but considering that most poor areas don't have the option of one job, and purchasing soccer outfits for kids, this may be a luxury of the rich. Rehab is a pipe dream for most poor people as well. Job opportunity and college plans is also a luxury of the affluent as much as the model of one parent working per household. So how do you combat and epidemic that poor people cant fix without an economic plan to shift poor and bored to middle class and working? Not by cutting funding but that is another debate. There is a finding that shows poverty is linked to mental health issues as well which makes perfect sense and the ramifications on addiction fall perfectly in line with that sense. (link) https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2016/10/30/499777541/can-poverty-lead-to-mental-illness

So how do you combat the addiction we now know exists? This idea of habit forming is true and dangerous if you don't respect it but do you heal the mind or do you fix it chemically? Some people have been going to extremes in the psychedelic frontier but I think they're missing something in some areas and completely bullshit in others. Where does the mental illness reside? Some think it is in your DNA. Others believe that is its a genetic trigger, like you are born with the genetic disposition but if certain events happen then the genes change. One example is how you can be predestined to develop breast cancer but it never triggers. Another is a linking between smoking at an early age can cause your child to be overweight. One other study was done on the MAOA, the warrior gene, or psychopath gene to some. The study showed that if certain environmental factors did not happen the gene would not trigger and the person would not be more impulsive of violence. (link) https://www.psychologytoday.com/…/evol…/201410/gene-violence

So how do you go about fixing yourself? Reset the brain with mushrooms? Do some therapy while on ecstasy? Microdosing LSD? Go on a Ayahuasca retreat? Take some electric volts to the brain? How bout regular therapy or counseling? I think you first got to find out one thing. Is your mental disorder something you are born with or something you were wired with through environment?

I tend to think it is the latter and here is my evidence. PTSD is a good example of something that was triggered through an event. Now some could say you were predisposed to be effected more so than someone else but they cant deny when it changed from dormant to affecting the individual. Another is the way they treat Schizophrenic behaviors with electric shock. They could literally wipe your brain of the existence of the disorder if you didnt mind losing your memory. This is a very good documentary on the subject of Bi-Polar but I want to note 2 things here. Most people dont just have one disorder, a ton have PTSD and considering they didnt look like vets I can assume their childhood was one of nightmares. The other is the woman who didnt want to lose her memory for the cure. Memory is paramount in these disorders even if you make a case for genetic predisposition you would also have to admit that environment plays a huge role in all these and in some it is seems like it is 100% that. (link) https://youtu.be/eyiZfzbgaW4

I believe the big reason why therapy works is because you play out the trauma over and over and talk about the terrible things you endured to someone. This could be a friend that doesn't mind hearing the story over and over or a therapist. I think the addition of medication is scary but as a stop gap I can see this as a necessity in a small timeline but there are a ton of adverse effects that are dangerous if going unchecked. Most mass shooters were on some anti depressants or adhd meds. This is why the holistic view garners some respect if used in logical ways and for a short time as well. Case in point is that you cant overdose on marijuana. So holistic does trump pharmaceutical if you cant die from it or the side effects of a pill meant to help you be happy makes you want to harm yourself and others. PTSD effected military folks have been swept under the rug by subscribing them some meds and sending them on their way. This is not being monitored by therapists but by doctors who get kick backs from the industry that benefits solely on people using more and more of their drugs. As you can see, business is good. (pic) https://margaretfarenger.files.wordpress.com/…/rates-of-pre…

This is an example of re-enacting trauma in a light way can repair the mind, this is similar to continuous telling of the story of your trauma. There are more elaborate studies that help people cope by recreating high quality versions of the trauma over and over till the brain can cope: (link) http://www.latimes.com/…/la-ss-morningside-can-paintball-he…

Now I think most people go to far on the merits of psychedelics and definitely on the catch all uses of marijuana. There are cases where it helps and the evidence in seizures is proof in the pudding. The over exaggeration of its effectiveness on cancer when its anti inflammatory effects are equal to you using tumeric or eating blue berries. Now I do think that if you were to take some ecstasy and focus on therapy, either talking about trauma or working out relationship issues, the different perspective and openness could make what would have been a toxic conversation one that is more easy to cope with. They have shown similar success with drugs like Ketamine and huge effects with mushrooms.

Now if you were to take ecstasy and sit there and talk about a bunch of bullshit like music or how could a mouse have a dog for a pet in Disney films, you are not getting shit out of the experience. The same could be applied to doing a bunch of psychedelics and going to burning man, what would you really learn from that? Intentions matter is all im saying. Other drugs like Ayahuasca and mushrooms have a different effect but the results on heroin addicts cannot be ignored. This isnt because you became one with the universe but the effects that brain wiring has on your life. If you were raised in a household where love meant violence and calm could be interrupted by chaos in any moment, you would have some fucked up wiring. It would effect the relationships you choose and the friends you can keep. There are ways to rewire the brain with actions. This is where therapy comes into play again. Someone telling you that what you think is boring is boring because your wiring needs enough positive links to love and relationships before it is wired to normal. The same reason why habits are formed like drinking while gaming, or the need to workout once you missed a day. (link) http://bigthink.com/ex…/how-to-rewire-your-brain-for-success

These drug may have an effect of getting their sooner by escalating the progress and putting you in a frame of mind to take it in more. Now these effects are fleeting but with practice and focus on the therapy and not just watching a shit Dead cover band you may get there without the danger of mood altering drugs that can have terrible reactions.

So what about our current social mediums? Do they actually do what we need them to do? Many people have talked about the dangers of social media and the addiction to likes. Here is a study which ranks them on how bad each one sucks but I have an idea behind why. (link) https://www.forbes.com/…/…/2017/05/31/instagram-depression/…

Here is a study showing the uptick in stress issues as a whole: (link) https://youtu.be/vqevGkjuLW0

Now most of these can be contributed to the asshole in charge, health care(mental as well), and economic concerns. 30% showed concerns about trust in government as well. Overall, people are not mentally better than they were last year and there are plenty of studies that show stressed households or classrooms can have huge effects on learning and stress in general. Stress is deeply tied to your health in a biological way as well so it is cause for concern.

I don't want to get to far down the rabbit hole but I think it is because we have people who have no idea how to talk to people creating social media apps. We have people that have no idea on dating making dating apps. That these applications dont take into account what is best for the user but what is best for making money and in return programming people to behave in a way that makes the developers money and provides mild success in the results desired by the person.

For example, the interfaces are one indicator that no one cares how you think. No one needed a tile interface for Windows 8/10 but here we are. Games are designed for in app purchasing and are curbing gamers to be loot and grind hounds that keeps them playing an unrewarding experience for continued activity and not a desire for rewarding game play. FB does a few things right but there are no ways to actually meet real people compared to AOL chat rooms in the 90s where a ton of people found love. World Of Warcraft does a better job match making friends/lovers than the current offerings and the reason why that is could be attributed to the way the app makes its money. Snapchat rewards users by encouraging them to stay active and post often which in turns means more ad clicks etc. None of these reward the user in the ways they want, you get a few clicks but no fill for the loneliness.

Use FB,IG, SC, Tinder all you want but in the end you will be no better off than when you started since there is nothing gained. I can use it to dump my thoughts into the ether but I dont expect anyone to read it, and no reward will be given for the effort. It has its merits but they are few. FB is great for connecting to the family and friends you already know but rewards you by making meaningless fake friends with no geographical filtering. Friends without the actual benefits of being one. It is devoid of filtering to location, unlike Tinder. Tinder on the other hand is devoid of emotion, information, and compatibility. You are given enough to explain yourself in emoticons and maybe your dick size :) but all you did was find out of someone 5 miles away swiped right, which is usually done be default for people not wasting time. So you match and it is cool you are close but now you have to sift through all the fake matches and see if you are compatible by having shitty after shitty conversation with people too busy maintaining their social media presence to respect your time. Also beware of neckbeards and the crazies. Other sites like OKCupid have personality matching by asking questions, sounds cool until you realize you match with an 80 year old woman or man in Novia Scotia, too bad they didnt have age or location sorting. It is no wonder ghosting exist, that people have moved their respect of the fake meaningless friends that accrue on social media and it has bleed over to someone literally unswiping you in front of your face and not caring about a human they were intimate enough to reply with one sentence over a text.

Twitch(Also any live shows with chat) is an interesting case for me. People watching gamers play is a simplified term for what it really is. The parts, well some, missing in other applications. For example, FB should have geographical filtering so Tinder half asses it. FB should have ways to talk to others and socialize so another app will half ass the lack of it by creating something that almost gives you everything but not quite to keep you along. Twitch fills in the gap of chatrooms no longer existing but also plays to a need of the socially awkward in the guise of gaming. What it really is, is a sense of community without the need for working on your social interaction skills. This is what is lacking in the current apps, this is why men cant put together 3 sentences before they say "I hope you get raped" for being ignored. So they go into a chatroom while someone is gaming who is successful because they talk to the discontent and not because they are good at them. These people are the therapists, a way to belong while remaining awkward. They can have one sided conversations with other regulars but they can still have a connection with the streamer of vlogger who reads their comments and validates them.

You really do have to appreciate the gift of gab, especially when it pays to keep the fans relevant, if you watch the successful ones they are really good at stringing people along and keeping then engaged by responding, the game is secondary: (link) https://www.twitch.tv/directory/game/Fortnite

It is no wonder an asshole who couldnt keep friends failed at successfully making an application where people have the same effect. They are just not capable of it sometimes, and other times your mental health has nothing to do with profits so it takes a bad seat. Much like our democracy got in the way of paid ads during our presidential campaign, we wonder why we keep getting sicker and never understand that the tools we have at our fingertips have not helped us at all but have made us worse if we put any faith in them. While developers not listening to the users in an Office suite may effect productivity, and a developer not listening to a user on a game may effect entertainment. Social media applications can effect your life, your stress levels, your sleep, your job, your mental health. So we better make damn sure we take that into account when we keep looking to them for happiness when I know they can never bring it.

[ase-trollplays]

-- liberatedRaptor [LR] began pestering tapeFace [TF] --

-- liberatedRaptor [LR] began pestering tapeFace [TF] --

LR: why tape tho

TF: Because my voice hurts people. :c

TF: Taping my mouth stops me from hurting people by accident :D

LR: oh thats actually kinda sad

TF: It's not that bad once you get used to it. :) I never liked the sound of my voice anyways.

TF: So! Why don't we introduce ourselves! :D

TF: My name's Cacoph

LR: im Wynter

TF: :O Nice!

TF: It's good to meet you, Wynter :D

TF: So, how's your night going? :)

LR: ah all things considered id say its pretty good

LR: ive been walking since i got up tho which was hours ago

LR: im a little tired :v

TF: Yeah, I bet. D: I hope you're close to where ever it is you're walking to.

LR: still a few nights off but HEY i wont make progress if i dont work hard so

LR: i just keep looking forward to seeing my friends again

TF: Good luck! I'm sure they're all looking forward to seeing you again, too!

TF: I hope whatever separated you from them wasn't anything too awful or serious. :c

LR: eh

LR: so question

LR: if you cant speak because of your voice being dangerous

LR: do you sign? :O

TF: Yes I do! Though most of the time I end up using a white board.

TF: Not many people bother to learn sign language. :/

TF: I'm assuming you have, though :O

LR: i know sign!! :O ugh yeah i hate it, no one knows it so im always like "wtf"

TF: Oh, I know! DX I wish learning to sign was included in basic schoolfeeding like learning Alternian.

TF: Out of curiosity, what made you decide to learn sign language?

LR: uhhh its a long story that basically ends in "im mute"

TF: Wow, I've never come across a fellow mutie :o

TF: This calls for (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*SPECIAL EMOTES*~✧』

TF: Granted, I would have started using those eventually anyways. (◕ω◕✿)

TF: I lost track of the website I copy them from for a bit. (●︿●;;)

LR: thats cute wtf

LR: im lazy and never use things like that even though theyre adorable

TF: Thank you! (◠ω◠✿) I'm always worried they make me seem obnoxious or something, but they're just so much more fun and expressive! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

LR: im a firm believer that if someone finds you obnoxious then theyre just missing out

LR: be yaself

TF: Exactly! (ﾉ◠ヮ◠)ﾉ Who has time for that kind of negativity? Not this mime!

LR: YOURE A MIME

LR: oh my god

TF: Is that a good "oh my god" or a bad "oh my god"? (●﹏●✿)

LR: a good one lol

TF: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Great! I was worried for a second.

TF: Not many people enjoy mimes. (″･ิ_･ิ) I guess I remind them too much of the clowns.

LR: i mean i guess i could understand that

LR: but mimes are usually harmless so like

TF: It really sucks. ┐(‘～`；)┌ But what can you do other than keep on keeping on, right? (´･ω･`)

LR: yeah! thats a good way to look at it

LR: like

LR: fuck them

LR: lol

LR: you seem pretty cool either way

TF: ∩(◕//ω//◕)∩ Thanks!

TF: You seem pretty cool, too (✿◠ヮ◠)

LR: cool? im ice cold B)

LR: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-- tapeFace [TF] plays a sick ass guitar riff B3 --

TF: Also, can I just say I love your text color? (⊙△⊙✿) I'm a sucker for super bright pastels!

LR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thanks ^^ its really beautiful huh? it sounds like im trying to toot my own horn or something but just

LR: i could fuckin stare at it all night

LR: so like do you for reals stand outside all night and just mime at people

LR: what u do

TF: I actually work as a janitor at a library. (◕︿◕✿) It's not very fun, but miming on street corners doesn't keep me fed and sheltered.

TF: But on my nights off, you can find me in the park being a miming dork to my heart's content (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

LR: being a janitor sounds terrible RIP

TF: It is, but sometimes I get to have a little fun. ԅ(≖ω≖ԅ)

TF: The library I work at has a real problem with people doing the frick frack behind the bookshelves or under tables.

LR: Oh what the hell,

TF: My boss pays me extra to expose anyone I find.

TF: As mean as it is, I get a laugh out of ruining the mood for some people. (n゜ω゜n)

TF: Their expression are priceless when they realize they've been caught

TF: Though some of them get very angry and try to kill me. (⊙︿⊙✿)

LR: not surprised in the least

LR: but like...... why a library

LR: why would they fuck in a library

LR: BOOKS GET ME SO HOT

TF: Libraries have to be one of the unsexiest places, yet at least twice a month

TF: THERE THEY GO, HUMPING IN THE GEOGRAPHY SECTION

LR: JUST SLAM A BOOK CLOSED ON MY DICK JUST FUCKING DO IT

TF: The only thing worse than breaking up couples is people who bring in food and hide their food trash because then we get ANTS. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

TF: I CAN'T TYPE LOUD ENOUGH ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE ANTS.

TF: Just looking at one makes my skin crawl! {{p´Д｀q}}

LR: ugh ants are such a gross hassle

LR: especially trying to figure out where they come from??

LR: how the fuck did they get in

TF: I don't know but they need to STOP ( ≧Д≦)

TF: They're the absolute worst and I hate having to get rid of them! They're so little and they get everywhere, and they have the nerve to bite!

TF: And it's hard to be sure you got all of them because they're so small and they completely disappear on carpet (┳Д┳)

LR: plus the leave that gross chemical trail for other ants to follow

LR: eugh

TF: ((brb))

TF: UUUUuuuugh, literally everything about them is awful (╬ Ò﹏Ó)

LR: id say i hate spiders more tbh

TF: I honestly don't mind them too much (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) the small ones are adorable

TF: Jumping spiders give me a fright, though (●︿●✿) I don't mess with those.

LR: all spiders terrify me

LR: its dumb

LR: even the harmless ones

LR: they just got too many legs.................

TF: Eugh, I can understand that. (●﹏●✿) Centipedes creep me out for the same reason.

LR: fffffffffffffffUCK those things

LR: fuck all things with more than four legs

TF: Some things with more than four legs are so cute though! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Like ladybugs and butterflies and praying mantises

LR: one of those things is not like the other

TF: One of those things just doesn't belong? /(●△●✿)\

TF: I think praying mantises have an underappreciated cuteness to them. (´◡ω◡`) And it's so funny watching them chop at things (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

LR: i watched a video of one give birth to a terrible parasite that drove it to seek out water and drown itself

TF: (⊙︿⊙) ...

TF: (´＿｀。) They can't always be cute

LR: its a darn shame too

TF: That poor thing. （；￣д￣） Who would even film that? It sounds awful

LR: apparently its common

LR: hairworms?

TF: Yikes. (◕﹏◕)

TF: That kind of make me think of those flies that infect bees.

TF: I hope those never adapt to infect grubs or something. (⊙﹏⊙)

LR: THAT

LR: IS TERRIFYING

TF: I KNOW RIGHT??

TF: I MEAN WE'RE BASICALLY SUPER EVOLVED BUGS

LR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

TF: (⊙∩⊙✿) I immediately regret this line of thought. I made a terrible mistake

LR: i regret your line of thought too

LR: i am

LR: scarred for life

TF: THEN HOW ABOUT A NICE UNSCARRING SUBJECT? (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ

TF: Do you have any quadrants you're looking forward to seeing?

LR: YAS

LR: i miss my mate and my moirail

LR: and some fucker who is sorta my kismesis but like

LR: its complicated?

LR: noncommittal "eh?" sound

TF: (◕△◕)Oh wow, you have so much going on.

TF: What's your sorta-but-not-really kismesis like?

LR: hes a dick but also i guess hes attractive? i think? im not actually sure

LR: i dont really feel that way about people so its hard to tell

LR: i guess he looks good

LR: BUT YEAH were just

LR: dicks to each other all the time

TF: Sounds like fun (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

TF: What about your matesprit and your moirail?

LR: oh my god so my matesprit is literally the coolest person in the fucking universe (no offense to you Cacoph cuz youre up there) and shes cute and she bakes a lot and shes good at it and she has her OWN BAKERY (which i work at) and she memes on me all the time and we just have so much in common

LR: she makes my heart do the backflip things

TF: (ㄒoㄒ) Oh my god, that's so sweet! You sound like the cutest couple

LR: yeah except i never told her i was going anywhere and its been two weeks i think so shes probably angry as fuck

LR: shes gonna rip my face off when i come back

TF: WELP

TF: It was nice knowing you

TF: Your memory will live on forever in this chatlog

LR: here lies Wynter: their mate fucking murdered them with a glare

TF: Killed before their time, they will be missed. (◡︿◡,✿)

TF: Did you at least tell your moirail?

LR: yeah

TF: Good, so you won't be double dead once they see you again. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ

TF: I really hope you can smooth things over with your matesprit once you see her again. (◕︿◕) It's really gonna suck if you lose her.

LR: YEAH IM PRETTY SURE ID JUST

LR: DIE

LR: ON THE SPOT

TF: PLEASE DON'T DIE ヽ(´□｀。)ﾉ WE ONLY JUST MET

LR: RIP,,,,

LR: two weeks is the longest ive gone without video games

LR: im dying

TF: What kind of video games do you play? (◕△◕✿)

LR: anything i can get my soulless little hands on

TF: That's a lot of games probably (✿◕△◕)~★

TF: I mostly just play casual things like Stardew Valley, Minecraft, and Lusus Crossing

LR: i do all of those things

LR: an also COD and Halo and Overwatch

TF: I tried playing COD, but the online players were so rude and negative. (≖︿≖✿) I doubt a single one of them was older than six.

TF: I haven't tried the other games you mentioned, though

LR: you should try :O Overwatch is super fun

TF: Really (◕△◕✿) What's it like? I see memes and fanart all the time on bubblr, but does it really live up to the hype?

LR: its grossly addictive

LR: and you get matched with people of similar skill so when you first start out you probably wont run into the gross types that play COD because theyre just starting out as well

TF: That sounds great (◕ω◕✿) It'll be nice not to have wrigglers screaming at me to git gud just because I haven't poured my entire existence into the game

TF: Does it run better on hisktop, or should I get it for the game system? (◕△◕✿)

LR: i play it on console but i believe theres a bigger playbase on husktop

LR: i would suggest only getting it on husktop if you have an external mouse

TF: Alright then, husktop it is. (◕‿◕✿)

TF: Eugh, that emote didn't come out well (◕﹏◕✿)

LR: o vo

TF: ⊙v⊙

LR: oh god

TF: ಠ_ಠ I'm suddenly very bad at emotes.

TF: why this

LR: cant always be good at it

LR: what about you, you got any quads youre gogo for?

TF: No, sadly not. (◡︿◡✿) I've had crushes, but they never amounted to anything

TF: On a whim, I signed up for a matchmaking thing just for curiosity's sake, and I got matched with a highblood. ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

LR: oh shit highbloods dawg

TF: I'm actually pretty nervous. Looking over his profile, he seems really grumpy and serious. (●﹏●✿)

LR: oh shit x2

LR: good luck

TF: Thanks, I'm gonna need it. ヽ(°ロ°)ﾉ

TF: I had a lot of fun chatting with you! (◕ω◕✿) Unfortunately, I need to get going.

LR: oh sure

LR: lemme know how ya date goes!

TF: Will do, friendo! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ Good luck making it back to your friends and quadmates!

-- tapeFace [TF] ceased pestering liberatedRaptor [LR] --