#there are a lot of queer poets in this one i think ;^^

[honeyednotes]

Peaches and Petrichor

I have known you four months and already I have written as many poems for you

I suppose this one will count for August

and indeed your love feels like August, like the late summer eves under the stars, all harvest and plenty

it is easy to breathe here, as if you are the crisp of the coming fall that cuts through the summers blaze

like I have crossed a finish line I have always been running towards

if I were to bite hard enough, I imagine your flesh is that of an apple, sweet and familiar and lovely

and oh, my love, your eyes

your irises contain the most bountiful soil, fertile fields I would like to plant my future in, spill it into reality

you make me want to set down roots I had given up on, content to tumbleweed my way through this lifetime

but then I met you, and it felt like coming home

my love if I could bottle you into a perfume it would consist of peaches and petrichor, for you are nourishment to this wanderer's soul

by Brie Thomson

[glitteredbubbles]

9 10 Fandom Folks to Get to Know Better

Thanks so much for the tag @schofielded !!

3 Ships I Like

Okay so I’m currently writing for Anderperry so they have to be at the top of the list, Reddie is my beloved which I fear will follow me throughout my life so they’re next, and hmm idk what to put for my third one since I like to read for a lot of ships and have barely written for others. I think I’ll go with a surprise pick and say Boreo! Tragic gays for the win

First Ship Ever

Omg I actually cannot say it was too embarrassing. The first one I’m willing to say is Larry which is also embarrassing and I regret it but I fear the fanfic was so good sorry.

Last Song I Heard

Drums of Death by FKA Twigs. I am addicted, something about the beat is just so good.

Favorite Childhood Book

This is kind of hard for me because I mainly had author phases as a kid rather than just one book that I adored. Looking back, though, I would probably say The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo was my favorite. Her descriptions were so good that it made me want to eat paper like the mice.

Currently Reading

Four Minutes by Nataliya Deleva! It’s a queer Bulgarian novel I’m reading for my around the world goal and I’m really enjoying it so far!

Currently Watching

Just finished watching Swing Girls (2004) so I’m counting it since I’m between TV shows right now. Anyway the movie was so cute and feel-good, I definitely recommend!!

Currently Consuming

I had fried chicken for dinner if that’s what this is referring to. Anyway it was good!

Currently Craving

A strawberry limeade with added coconut and cream from Sonic 💔 I don’t have my car rn so I am stranded sadly

No pressure tags: @neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies @vinesandvellichor @good--merits-accumulated @lc-27 @axe-76 @dreadedwhim @poetrusic1959 @yawping-poets-society @scriptscraps @neilperryismine + open to anyone who wants to join!!

[dolphin-diaries]

How To Prevent Detransition In Five Simple Steps (Part 1)

Originally published on Dolphin Diaries.

What do you think of when you hear ‘detransitioner’?

The Right, likely. Grift and pantomime for clout, such as that of a certain doll or the world’s most Korean and Christian man. Coercion; forced detransition.

What do you think of, say, when you consider willing and genuine detransition? If you could look at Chloe Cole past her rhetoric, her ideological allegiance, her utter lack of compassion for those outside of it—what do you see?

Is it regret? Self-hatred? Pity, maybe? A correction of a shameful (stupid, even) mistake? A bizarre decision you struggle to imagine yourself—or anyone—making? A web of uncanny, discomfiting choices, written in flesh?

Maybe, if you’re trans yourself, you might also see your own fears. Not necessarily forced detransition—that wouldn’t make you like her. No, maybe you look at your past doubts and wonder if you could’ve been her, under different circumstances. Or maybe, it’s merely the thought of something that brought you great joy—your transition, the alteration of your body, your freedom—being broken, hated, turned inside-out. Like a shredded garment.

Perhaps you’re just unnerved to see it undone.

Detransition, in the eyes of the masses, is an undoing. That implies discontent, and since this discontent is over transition—something not only voluntary but often hard-won—it also implies that transition itself was a mistake. Seemingly, a preventable one.

And so there is only one conclusion: detransitioners must be prevented. I must be prevented. I am a stain on the medical, social, and queer establishments that have created me, whether you look at it from the Right or the Left. The ‘reverse’ dysphoria I feel is, by all accounts, utterly preventable. Naturally, then, we must attempt to prevent it.

The belief about detransitioners is that they need medical gatekeeping to prevent them from having transitioned—a more robust system of checks that would’ve helped them realise they were never trans. Or perhaps, that they need the topic of transness altogether excised from the zeitgeist. For instance, a known detrans grifter Maia Poet tweeted she is retrospectively grateful to her parents for having hyper-surveilled her after she came out as trans. She still socially transitioned and continued to identify as trans for twelve years afterwards, so it can’t have helped in the way she wanted, but she’s still grateful for, uh. Something. Whatever it is that was accomplished, which, it seems, was not a lot.

Well, no one was expecting cutting social commentary or lucid solutions from Ms. Israeli Sellout Poet, so never mind her. Let us put the grift aside.

That is the knee-jerk response, isn’t it? Make fun of the loud and stupid and obviously wrong ones?

That has its place, but let me assure you, detransitioners exist outside of TV and Twitter. Most are disinterested in sharing a pedestal with Maia or Chloe, regardless of what they believe. Let us even put myself aside as a singular subject. Let us examine what is normally either cynically weaponised by the Right, or else timidly swept under the rug. Because if you allow the idea that willing detransitioners truly exist—and they do, I assure you; if I turned my screen off, I’d be looking at one—then you must also allow the possibility of, well…

Transition regret.

Allow yourself compassion for a detransitioner—a random, regular person—that is staring at rock bottom and finding that their transition took them there. If I were them, I’d surely ask what could’ve been done to prevent that. What could’ve been done so that I never existed such as I am.

A very rock-bottom kind of question, I know. But the only way out is through.

So what is the most effective way to prevent detransition? What has been done to that end? How is transition handled, and what does that mean for detransition?

1. The Doctor Will See You Now

Over the past few months, I’ve spent a good chunk of my god-given procrastination allowance on scrolling online detrans communities that explicitly ban transphobia. You may call that biased, but I’ve found that detrans spaces which make no such explicit attempts are swiftly overrun by Gender Criticals. Not even detrans ones; the topic is hot-button and embarrassing enough to encourage unmitigated manipulation of the audience. It’s a bit like browsing spaces for discussion of cosmetic surgery. When an issue is too unseemly to be spoken of in polite society, the snake oil salesman can peddle whatever the hell he wants. By contrast, trans-positive detrans spaces tend to be smaller, less fraught, and more diverse in issues discussed and feelings expressed.

(To be clear, I will not quote anyone here. While their accounts were told neither in privacy nor in confidence, online messages in small communities carry a presumption of anonymity and non-disclosure, which I intend to maintain.)

Indeed, a sizeable number of even explicitly trans-positive detransitioners express some desire for a prior intervention. A therapist or psychiatrist that would’ve entertained alternatives, or questioned why their patient wanted to transition. It’s not uncommon, when queried by people unsure of surgery or HRT, for such detransitioners to advise waiting until total certainty is achieved. Unlike GCs, though, they often lament the lack of medical professionals that will neither attempt to do conversion therapy nor consider detransition an untouchable topic.

(As I’ve alluded to before, it is difficult enough in many places to find a therapist that even knows Trans 101. ‘Advanced stuff,’ like detransition, is beyond contemplation. It’s not that skilled-enough professionals don’t exist, but that there is no resource for finding them.)

There is a common denominator among such detrans people. They are often—though not always—young transitioners, having done so either in high school or shortly after. They’re usually from countries that have an informed consent model of transition care. Under this model, a doctor does not diagnose with gender dysphoria—or indeed anything at all—but merely provides assistance in alteration of sexual characteristics. That’s the idea, anyway; reality varies and often does not quite match that ideal, but by and large, the doctor’s job is then mainly to explain what the patient is signing up for. What intervention or investigation exists, if any, is minimal or perfunctory.

From a purely technical perspective, these detransitioners are asking for something that wasn’t this doctor’s job to do. But it is a fairly heartless argument to make. “Well, if your dysphoria wasn’t actually dysphoria, you should’ve gone to a therapist instead!”—rather silly, isn’t it? Easily refuted with: “If I knew then what was wrong with me, I wouldn’t be here.” And anyway, just because that is how the system works does not necessarily mean that is how it should work.

There is a wrinkle here, though. Informed consent may be the norm in, say, the USA—for now, anyway—but it is not worldwide. In most places you ought to receive a gender dysphoria (or transsexualism, if the updated DSM is yet to be adopted) diagnosis before access to medical transition is permitted. So how does the diagnostic model hold up when it comes to detransition?

2. Hoops and Hoops and Hoops

As I mentioned in my first essay, I am a young-ish transitioner from a country that very much does not practice informed consent. I started transitioning medically at 19, which is young for an adult transitioner but post-pubertal nonetheless. However, transitioning in adolescence would’ve been functionally impossible for me. Even if my parents were supportive and I somehow found a doctor to prescribe me blockers/hormones—the latter of which is monumentally unlikely, as it was illegal—it would still basically mean social death. So, in effect, I transitioned as young as was humanly possible.

The procedure to acquire legal access to hormone replacement therapy was pretty antiquated during my time. Internment in a psychiatric ward, a prior real-life test, the nine yards. (For the unaware, a ‘real-life test’ is a requirement to have lived as your desired gender for several years prior to any medical transition.) I was diagnosed rather thoroughly both for presence of gender dysphoria and an absence of alternative explanations, such as schizophrenia, BPD, autism, and, put colloquially, mummy or daddy issues—having a ‘broken family’ was a strike against the transsexualism diagnosis. Anxiety or depression was also a no-no. Under this particular model, literally any other condition is a contradiction to transsexualism. You are to be deeply distressed about your genitals and assigned gender stereotype, and absolutely nothing else at all.

Because yes, naturally the pathologisation of gender entails reliance on stereotype and archetype. What makes a man or a woman, after all? When the goal is to have transsexualism as the last possible resort, it’s not enough to merely wish for a different set of genitals or breasts or to describe oneself as a man or woman—gender must be dissected. And that dissection, inevitably, leads to ‘bitches be crazy.’ Man like car, woman like kitchen. Man fucks woman, subject verb object. Et cetera.

Of course, declaring any ‘irregular’ thoughts about gender to be the sole purview of a perfect and utterly healthy citizen, is just cruel. Gender conformity is a violently enforced social protocol. Therefore people that run up against it—trans or not—are highly likely to be made maladjusted. To deny them care on that basis alone is inhumane. If you are found too ‘wrong’ to be transsexual, you will then be told to go treat whatever is wrong with you—your symptom, not your cause. Gender will not be entertained.

Now, that the psychiatric treatment of gender dysphoria is inhumane, dated, and deliberately difficult and arcane, is not news. It is designed to prevent transition first and foremost and also secondly and thirdly, and only lastly to enable it. Some young people in the US may feel enough distance from such treatment as to not understand what it truly entails. To some it is buried history. Most, though, even when unaware of what such procedures are or were, understand they are/were bad. Nebulously bad or specifically bad (mostly the former), but bad nonetheless.

So here’s the first question: does this work? Does this ensure those that truly need transition can do it, and none that don’t, can’t?

I can obviously just point to myself and be done with it, but one person can be anything from an anomaly to a fun fact, just not a tendency. So let’s work through this.

Obviously such procedures do not prevent all transition. Do they reduce the number of transitioners? It is impossible to count for sure, but certainly such procedures generally exist in societies that are not amenable to trans people, and therefore some plainly do not survive long enough to try. It does not matter whether they would’ve eventually detransitioned or not; severe psychiatric procedure does not coexist with widely available, comprehensive therapy. It does not matter because no one will ever find out.

What of those that do survive, though? One extreme conclusion to make is, if you can survive without something, you do not need it. I’m not particularly interested in a survival-only existence as I do not live in a cave and hunt mammoth. (And even prehistoric people made jewellery and painted cave walls with art, so clearly they cared about things beyond sheer necessity, too.) So that aside, how do the lives of those that actually engage with the procedure pan out?

Naturally, one of the results of such procedures is the delaying of access. Some things, like hormones, you can get on the sly, but surgeries you simply cannot receive without either the doctor’s permission or a great—and I do mean great—deal of money. The procedure is designed to take several years before any access can be granted at all, assuming you go through it swiftly and successfully. The more stringent the procedure, the fewer doctors can do it; a degree of waiting is involved even before it begins. In my country’s case in particular, transition is fully paid for by the patient—there is neither state nor insurance coverage, at all, for anything. Even doctor visits in government-sponsored institutions are de facto paid because you need to grease some palms for someone to bother. No, there’s no suing the doctor that won’t treat you without the agreed-upon bribe; you can’t afford it and you won’t win. Therefore there’s also risk of further depression and suicide as great financial burden falls on people that, as a rule, have below-average funds, poor employability, and no family support. But assuming you soldier through, the overall result is a transition timeline that spans about a decade or two. The bulk of social transition will happen in the first five years, whereas surgical interventions, due to cost and laborious approval processes, fall on the last years.

This can be seen as a boon to detransitioners. Delay in access means more time to change your mind, hypothetically. The fact that surgeries are generally impossible until many years in transition means—hypothetically—there’s less chance you’ll end up with changes that cannot be reversed or amended without further surgical intervention, or at all.

As I’ve mentioned in my previous essay, I do believe such calculus to be heavily hindsight-skewed, favouring present lack of regret and dysphoria over past misery and the humiliation of the psychiatric grinder. It’s a little like getting hit with a hammer to the head and then falling madly in love with the doctor treating you. Sure, in hindsight it softens the blow of the head trauma, but you still wouldn’t recommend anyone walk around with a sticker on their back saying ‘Hit Me.’

I can understand, however, how a detrans person who never went through any of that, now deep in dysphoria blues, could find such an argument empty air. Infuriating, even. Perhaps they’d even say they’d gladly be a bit miserable for a couple years so long as they didn’t have to deal with all this now. Grass, greener, et cetera. So let us say this really is a possible advantage of the procedure—

If it actually makes you less likely to go through with transition once you begin the procedure and uncover doubts creeping in.

Does it?

3. A Patient Is A Person

There’s an elephant in the room, though not many notice it. To a cis person it may well be invisible. You might’ve spotted it when I first flippantly described the procedure I went through and mentioned a real-life test. Most people cannot be reliably and consistently integrated into society as the ‘opposite’ gender until they have some kind of physical intervention. Especially not in places that are highly transphobic, where being visibly trans is either not an option or a very dangerous one. But clearly, people do pass this ‘real-life test’ somehow. Is it really only the most androgynous among us that are allowed to transition under such procedure?

Well, no. Although doctors will be more charitable if you already seem like a ‘lost cause’ to your birth sex. Nothing wasted and so on. But like I said, you can always get hormones on the sly. It’s not even hard or prohibitively expensive.

That’s not the only issue with the procedure. How do you reconcile putting all this time and money into a (marginalised) diagnosis with (often precarious) employment? Why are trans patients supposed to have a singular script for their lives and genders, whereas cis people are permitted variance?

In the end, how do you prove to someone else that transition is right for you? Is it really all the silly quizzes and the identically heart-wrenching stories? Eh. Not exactly. In my experience, the doctor makes half their mind up the moment they look at you. And most every patient seems like a regular cis person—a fertile woman, a boy that can be made a man—and so the knee-jerk response is to help you stay that way, no matter how you feel. So there are two options: memorise a rote script of suffering and hope for the best, or, much more reliably and painlessly—

Already look like a transsexual.

Put plainly, the current diagnostic model of transition only works when you’re already transitioning. To access transition you must’ve already done so. Yes, we all simply pretend. Yes, people just memorise whether they’re supposed to like cars or kitchens and how they should describe their sex lives. Of course they do. People seeking transition are human.

You can wag your finger however much you want and insist that people must follow protocol, and whatever happens as a result of disobedience is their own damn fault. The empirical fact is, protocol as written is un-follow-able. Because it is un-follow-able, no one actually follows it.

The result of a system whose first and foremost purpose is to make as few people transition as possible, is very simple: everyone lies. No one trusts doctors. No one in their right mind would go to a doctor that controls their legal gender marker based on the patient’s tales of masturbation, and then bare their true gender feelings with an expectation of help. Even the doctors themselves do not care how you really feel or whether you’re lying. They know the system is faulty, they know none of this is human or nice, but they also don’t understand why anyone would transition and they don’t care to. They have a hundred more patients, a thousand more protocols that are also neither human nor nice. This is psychiatry, and you are an annoying and rare brand of crazy, one that’s both utterly perverse and—they know—not actually crazy, not hallucinating or threatening suicide (and if you do: you can’t, remember?). What you’re doing is wasting a bed and their time. So all they want is their bribe, maybe a dissertation subject, and for you to cooperate and be gone.

What actually decides access to transition? A little bit of luck, a little bit of social acceptance in one’s immediate social circles, but chief among all: money.

If we must prevent the possibility of detransition at all cost, surely financial disincentive still works? Not the way you’d want it to. The only thing cost barriers ensure is that the rich can do whatever they want on a whim, and the poor can’t have even that which they desperately need. That is the only social balance money can buy.

And what decides eventual detransition?

The truth is, at least for me, it wasn’t regret. I’ve lived a long while in trans circles shaped by such transmedicalism. And if I’ve learned one thing, it’s this:

Transition regret was everywhere.

It is not at all unique to detransitioners. Certainly wasn’t in my circles. Many trans people who were also my contemporaries and fellow countrypersons had something or other they regretted about their transition. Some had even found the whole process extremely traumatic. They regretted not allowing themselves any femininity/masculinity that ‘contravened’ their desired gender. They got haircuts, clothes, friends, surgeries—anything related to gender, which is everything—only and solely because of the need to transition under very strict guidelines. Sometimes consciously, sometimes not. We lie to the doctors, yes, but that does not mean we are untouched by the transition procedure at our heart. The procedure is long and complex, and thus at a certain point, it occupies a lot of your attention and time. You live and breathe the sex questionnaires and psych visits whether you want to or not. And, as I’ve established, no one in the whole hospital cares how you truly feel about your gender—so for a while, you may stop caring too. It’s a matter of survival. Not just in the sense of access to transition, but in the very banal calculus of things that will and won’t get you beat up in an alley. At some point it’s only human to mentally check out.

In other words, everyone was fucking miserable. Trans, detrans—everyone.

People transition because they want to. Because everyone wishes to be an architect of their own fate and body, insofar as they can, and for some that involves choosing which way their body grows and ages. How it occupies the mould of sex. And when barriers are put between you and your agency, what follows is not obedience. You are human; you are not an algorithmic machine; you do not simply obey, you choose. So what do most people choose when they want something very badly and are told they cannot have it? They resist, of course. Resist, lie, scheme. And resistance to stringent protocol takes a lot out of you.

If doubt starts whispering in your head and you’re not listening, will you even hear it?

Put plainly, there’s no space for gender feelings in survival mode. What the diagnostic procedure causes is precisely that. It does not matter whether one’s need to transition is caused by some sort of True Transsexualism or trauma or misogyny or self-delusion or a secret millionth thing. You want it, and there’s no resource, no space, and no help for you to dissect that need. No time, either, because everything costs years—be it in money, in waiting, or your own life. You have an acute need and a difficult path to it. That is all.

And when all is said and done, and now you want to detransition? You’ve spent years to transition in the first place. You’ve invested great effort and great money, even if you’re not yet ‘done.’ You’ve likely lost family members and friends. Sunk cost is a hell of a weight, and sunk cost is precisely what the diagnostic model—a prevention model—engineers in spades.

4. A Dream of Utopia

So the informed consent model has no oversight, and the diagnostic model is a horrible grinder. Informed consent seems to be the patented harm reduction choice of the two. But surely those are not the only things that can exist? Surely we can dream of more than just ‘less harm’? Can there not be some sort of prior screening by an actually humane doctor who understands both trans and detrans needs? No quizzes about masturbation or kitchens or cars or whether you demanded to be called ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ at age four—just a robust way to determine whether you actually have gender dysphoria or not?

Let us say it is possible. When detrans people ask for qualified, humane, non-transphobic aid in helping them through their feelings on sex/gender, they are not asking for the impossible. Their need is one that must be answered in a just and caring world; it is already being answered for trans people, so why should the detrans be any different? And from there, you might think, it follows that it’s possible to attempt a system whose aim is some reasonably brief and minimally invasive pre-screening, which would filter out would-be detransitioners and enable trans people to pursue their transitions.

It is possible to attempt that. But.

All systems of restriction and access have a problem: there’s a power dynamic at play. Transition is often a pretty acute need. Doctors can make mistakes, they’re only human. Who is to decide what is real gender dysphoria? What if the doctors are not so humane? What if they enjoy holding power more than they enjoy helping? ‘Just don’t hire them’ isn’t really an answer—if we knew how ‘not to hire bad people,’ we’d have already colonised Pluto.

That doesn’t mean no system of restriction has its place. Access to weapons has similar problems, but most people would agree it’s probably not right for them to know nuclear codes anyway. Obviously no one worth listening to would compare detransition to guns or nukes, but let’s say, for the sake of the argument, that the possibility of detransition is so utterly undesirable that, if a prevention system could exist, it must.

The question remains: what makes gender dysphoria real?

The answer is very simple. Ultimately, it will always only be real because you said so. Because the patient said so—not the doctor.

If you’re a medical professional, you know how much of your diagnostic work relies on patient testimony. How you must at times cajole them into being honest, or to decode what exactly ‘bubbling pain in the liver’ means. Those unfamiliar with the medical world often imagine there’s always some kind of screening that can determine with certainty if the patient is lying or misguided or unsure. And yes, even if John insists he never put that Christmas ornament up his arse, the X-Ray will show it one way or another. But in many cases, it’s not that simple, and patient testimony is crucial.

When it comes to psychology and psychiatry, this issue could not be more acute. Often there is nothing else to go on at all. That doesn’t mean therapists are just useless soundboxes—but neither are there Top 10 Signs My Patient Is Actually A Narcissist. Nor are there actually body language experts that will totally tell you you’re being delusional; peddlers of simple and exact solutions are, as a rule, charlatans.

In short, therapists and psychiatrists are not mind readers. They are only analysing what you are saying about your own mind, and what you’re doing about it. They can aid you in interpreting yourself, but at the end of the day, you’re still the one doing it.

And here’s the kicker: no single issue faced by detransitioners is something trans people do not experience. Some detrans people first transition as a form of self-harm after sexual assault; but childhood sexual trauma is common among trans people who are happy in their transitions, too. Many detrans women felt pushed out of their gender by internalised misogyny and the impossibility of envisioning happy lives as women; but all those that are brought up or grow up as girls experience misogyny, including trans men and trans women. Detrans people often cite only wanting to transition after they learn of the possibility of transition and not from early childhood, as if that is evidence—but many trans people do not seek transition until they learn of its existence, too.

Trans people doubt their transitions all the time. Feel unhappy with their transitions, at least sometimes. And they self-harm via detransition too—a lot. The idea that none of this happens, or only happens very rarely, is a fiction recited for the sake of self-defence and attaining civil rights in a hostile world. Spending any time in trans spaces will tell you the truth is much more nuanced. And even so, even still, only some of those people detransition. And only some of those do so completely of their own free will, and not out of despair or a successful right-wing pipeline.

For every seemingly telltale sign of future detransition, there are numerous counterexamples. In fact a trans person can have all those signs at once, and nonetheless remain trans. Diagnostic criteria for a condition requires a list of symptoms, and if no number of those can be definitive? That means there can be no diagnosis. No (medical) condition.

In other words, resources, attention, and qualified aid can all accommodate detrans people exactly as it does trans people. Procedure cannot. Just like it can’t satisfactorily accommodate trans people. It is a dead end to treat the matter of gender as if it is a disorder, an ailment of the individual, rather than an exercise of agency against a society which enforces sex/gender.

Additionally, I have so far spoken in extremes. Real and not-real trans people; detransitioners that utterly regret their transition and wish it never happened. It was necessary for the argument. But many detransitioners do not have such black-and-white feelings about their past. Some are nonbinary and unhappy with either ‘man’ or ‘woman’; some do not maintain that their gender dysphoria wasn’t actually real; some even reject the label ‘detrans’ on principle, even though they have verifiably detransitioned. I have not mentioned any such case because I wished to argue that even the most ‘textbook,’ most acutely regretful case of detransition has little to gain and much to lose in a gatekeeping-first transition system. However, I must also point out that the ‘textbook case’ is the only case that can envision any gain at all. It isn’t real, but it’s a lovely mirage. To the rest of us, there isn’t even that.

5. I Have Bad News—Or Do I?

Yes, what I am saying is that detransition is inevitable. I’m saying its negatives can be curtailed by therapeutic and medical care that accommodates for detrans people—as much is true for trans people—but, regardless of how preventable detransition may seem, there is no way to simply solve it. Detransition can only be vanished by going back in time and making medicine freeze at the turn of the twentieth century, before such things as exogenous hormones were invented. Even a full ban on transition would be just a costly inconvenience, but ultimately not a magic bullet. People do banned things because they want to all the damn time. Oh, and I guess we’d also have to sterilise every single female horse.

So does that mean detransitioners are necessary collateral damage?

Only if you think detransition is inherently, inevitably, invariably undesirable and bad.

When you discover you want to detransition, it can be hard to accept for a myriad of reasons. Sunk cost, fear of ostracisation, shame, or even because you have no idea what detransition can look like and you don’t know what to do. And then there’s dysphoria and dealing with the wider society’s disgust and I-told-you-so’s. Some amount of what one might call a ‘bad time’ is unavoidable.

But why? What makes wanting to detransition—not resigning to it; wanting it—bad? What makes it socially reviled and pitiable? What makes going through it feel so difficult? How is the shame of detransition engineered—and what for?

See you in Part 2.

[flow2024]

like the thing is i DO think misogyny is a major contributing factor to a lot of older 'bro' movie homoeroticism. sure sometimes it's queercoding and deliberate subtext. other times it's the base assumption that the Love Interest will fall for the Hero because that's just how things work, the hero saves the day, the girl is his reward. there's so little effort put into the writing of the intended love interest because she is ultimately there to fulfil the role of hero's prize and therefore their relationship doesn't need development because it will simply happen. she's not a real person she's decoration. but the hero's sidekick, or best friend, or rival - more time is invested into these relationships because they are both men, and therefore permitted to be more complex characters by the film. they are not necessarily written well, dependent on the film, but they will get more to work with than the women in the film. and so of course their relationships will be deeper and get more screen time, because they are not a foregone conclusion. which lends itself to queer readings and homoeroticism.

this isn't confined to bro movies or action movies either! like the examples i cited in the tags earlier were the lost boys, dead poets society, and die hard, which are different types of film but have the same issue. both the lost boys' and die hard's love interests are so woefully underdeveloped that the more compelling relationship is with another man, the villain and the cop respectively. those are the relationships that get developed. die hard's wife is just kind of there sometimes, and the lost boys' is just a generic damsel in distress with nothing going on for her beyond standing there and looking pretty.

dead poets society is a different beast, more drama heavy. there's barely any women in it! one subplot with one romantic interest that involves repeated overstepping of boundaries despite the girl telling the guy to stop, but it's fine because she wants him really, she's just trying to protect him of course, and she needs rescuing. the rest of the film is easy to read through a queer lens because of the exclusion of women from the environment entirely, partially because it's an all boys school, but also because women are simply there to be looked at and pursued but not intellectual equals. when they're brought into the cave it's a threat to the space, and of course they've never heard of shakespeare, because dead poets society's idea of culture and intelligence is reserved for men near exclusively. there's a campaign to bring girls into the school but it's so they can fuck them. so of course it feels like they're all gay because women are deliberately excluded from the film's spaces.

like i get the point about intricate rituals and queer coding and all that. but i DO think misogyny is an important factor here

[the-words-forever-unwritten]

There is always a lot of talk of mischaracterization in fandom, which I do too, but I figured I would do opposite and talk about how much I love getting to see different interpretations of characters in fandom

Like !!! I'm thinking about Meeks as an example, and how I view him as one of the few poets that wouldn't have a lot of personal guilt about being queer, obviously he's still closeted and secretly about it because it's the 50s, but I think he would be able to be okay with that fact about himself.

But like !!! I scroll though ao3 and I see a fic about Meeks having really bad catholic guilt when he comes to being queer and that's so cool! That's so fun! Like yes I love stuff like that explored, and it makes a lot of sense!

Or like, I tend to view Meeks' family life of being kinda bad, very conditional love from his parents, but then I see posts about his parents being really nice or him having a great relationship with his mom and I love that so much!

I love seeing different versions of characters, I love it. There will never be enough stories about them because there will always be something different that can be done with them, because everyone is going to see things differently. I love that abour fandom so much.

[thealexchen]

What is your dream look for Kat 2022? Let me live in denial, okay?

Right there with you.

I like the idea of adult Kat totally leaning into gender nonconforming and/or butch fashion. Kat cuts her hair short as a "fuck you" to chemo, something like her VA Nat Liconti's hair. In 1995, Kat's overalls, boots and Converse, walkman, and t-shirts and sweaters convey a casual, comfortable, but outdoorsy style. One piece of concept art shows her in a cardigan over the overalls. As an adult, I think she'd stick to mostly casual clothing that others might consider "low-effort," but she couldn't give less of a shit after surviving cancer. At this point in her life, she just wants to wear what makes her most comfortable. I imagine a lot of wide-legged jeans, oversized sweaters, cardigans, ergonomic sneakers, soft flannel. If she wanted to dress up, maybe a nice button down, vest, bowtie, and slacks, but nothing too constricting or fancy. She probably lives in sweats when she's at home so she can nap whenever she wants. I also like to think she buys random secondhand shit like gag t-shirts and random souvenir shop finds, all non-brand name, which drives Nora up the wall.

If Kat survived her leukemia, I imagine she'd have some longterm symptoms that leave her legally disabled. Building a career as a freelance poet/writer mostly in isolation would likely be better for her mental and physical health, but I imagine she'd also be a passionate disability rights and queer rights advocate on social media as an adult. Kat's interview shows that she's got the punk heart even if she doesn't subscribe to the typical fashion. Kat loves the poetry of Emily Dickinson, who also famously spent her career years in isolation and had a likely romantic relationship with her pen pal Susan Huntingdon. Kat is more of a thrill-seeker than Swann though, so maybe she lives closer to a big city and keeps in touch with a network of friends online. I guess we shall see when Tape 2 comes out!

Thank you for asking!

[aq2003]

I’m about to start working on a romeo and juliet production in a couple of weeks but I don’t know the show that well - do you have any versions you’d recommend I watch/listen to ?

see ok my horrible answer to this question is that My all time favorite romeo and juliet, the only version i am Truly Personally Crazy About, is the 3 hour long potato quality archive recording of the 2000 rsc production w dt and alex gilbreath. Also normally you can only watch this by booking an appointment at the shakespeare birthplace library in stratford-upon-avon. however you can read the essay dt wrote about the production (from the rsc's players of shakespeare series) here. i think about it sometimes and i become crazy all over again. (it has a fascinating look into romeo and his relationships and the idea of fate in the play)

people LOVE the 1996 baz lurhmann movie and while i agree the set design and art direction is fucking inspired and funny as hell and it has my favorite depiction of mercutio, i Hate dicaprio's romeo he Does Not Get It where IS my overdramatic-self-indulgent-but-also-bursting-at-the-seams-full-of-love romeo, the-misunderstood-poet-who-can-never-be-happy romeo. they also cut my favorite romeo moment (when he has to be stopped from killing himself after learning abt his banishment) and my favorite juliet monologue (right before she drinks the sleeping potion). pain and darkness!

my recommendations:

1996 baz lurhmann movie if you haven't watched it already, because harold perrineau mercutio my beloved i'll suffer through my gripes about the other parts of the adaptation for you

arkangel shakespeare romeo and juliet, with the caveat it's audio only. my favorite thing about this one is dt's mercutio because he goes out of his way to emphasize all of the innuendos in his lines lmao

if you can get your hands on the dt/alex gilbreath version.

any version of the play where romeo and juliet are a lesbian couple this is the dt/alex gilbreath version too if you're brave but also i think romeo and juliet's relationship maps so scarily well onto a queer romance such that you cannot play them as a normie straight relationship. like the fact that the two of them feel like the only person that truly understands them is the other and the whole violent and dangerous environment forbidding their relationship and also you could read a lot of the language abt sexuality/procreation from other characters (esp the nurse or juliet's parents) as heterosexual norms being imposed upon them. hello for the love of god

[yesimtrashforit]

My random Stranger Things headcanons (pt. 1?)

**these are mainly about what media they would like, I think. Also keep in mind, for the young Hopper and Joyce headcanons, I haven't seen The First Shadow. Do not spoil it pls if any of these are disproven by it! Thank you!

• Joyce is a fan of Bob Dylan, largely because he talks about women so kindly in his early songs and she appreciates a young male singer who can sing about women as actual people.

• In high school, Joyce was in theatre tech, mainly doing costumes and props. I just get the vibe that she was a shy theatre kid. I also like to think Joyce was fairly popular, but similar to Nancy, she was seen a stereotypical good girl who didn't date around.

• Hopper was very similar to season 1 era Steve in his youth, I think. Popular, homecoming king but he didn't win kinda vibe.

• In 1989, Will drags Mike to see Dead Poets Society in theaters and they both cry a lot bc of the tragedy of it, but also that Mr. Keating reminds them of Mr. Clarke. Mike's favorite character is Charlie/Nuwanda. Will's favorite is Todd. They both occasionally quote the movie to each other for years afterwards.

• In modern day, I believe 53-year-old Mike becomes a huge movie nerd and specifically gets really into indie sci-fi stuff. He thinks Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is hilarious btw. Will thinks this is obnoxious, but sweet.

• As far as future occupations, I think Will actually becomes a fairly successful comic illustrator. Mike is a games designer, specifically storyboarding and writing. Dustin is definitely an engineer. Lucas becomes a coach, possibly ending up coaching for the NBA because I think he would be that ambitious. I think Max would be a child psychologist. Nancy steps away from journalism and ends up becoming a lawyer, mainly handling civil cases. Jonathan is a photographer, but he sticks more to pop culture later. Steve becomes an elementary school teacher. Robin becomes some sort of historian, maybe in queer history. Erica becomes a politician and no one can tell me any different. Her campaign slogan is "You can't spell America without Erica."

• El writes a memoir about her life experiences (published under the name Jane "El" Hopper) and it becomes a NYT bestseller. I also think she becomes an activist later in life, specifically for ethical scientific research and technology use. As far as occupation, I think she would be a therapist.

• Dustin is a casual Shakespeare nerd later in life and generally enjoys his comedies more than Shakespeare tragedies.

[iambicpentameterhamster]

What i think of you based on your favourite Six of Crows character

Matthias Helvar:

You probably read a lot in the fantasy genre and take yourself too seriously (no offense) probably busy daydreaming about profound things and writing poems that you'll eventually delete. You love bleak and gritty stories and you listen to Coldplay, Conan Gray or The Tortured Poets Department. No shade though, you guys are probably great friends with value for loyalty. In summary, i think you're all either really intense and ernest or totally shy and quiet. You're probably heterosexual to be honest.

Nina Zenik:

I think people who's favourite is Nina don't tend to be much like her in real life, but are the type of people that would really want to befriend her. I'd say you're more introverted and quietly friendly, but then you act totally different and comfortable with the right friends. Technically disapproving of gossip, but turn into Regina George if the rumour is juicy enough- secretly judgemental but it all comes out to your best friends. You have a good sense of humour and probably quite a cynical/pessimist mindset overall. I know you like campy films like Legally Blonde and Clueless. Oh, and your favourite subject is definately history.

Inej Ghafta:

If you're drawn to the steady and honest beat of Inej's thoughts, I think you're quite an anxious or scattered person who enjoys how safe and comforting she feels as a character. I'd say you're a sensitive person with a keen eye for colour and art. Your favourite chapters in SOC are definately the backstory and romance chapters. You cry often at films and music and just when you feel bittersweet or happy. You have Hozier, Mitski or Radiohead on your playlists. You're either artsy smart or english smart, there's no way your a science/maths kinda person.

Wylan Van Eck:

This one is split. You're either one of those people that infantalises and simplifies his character and reduces both him and Jesper to their ship and nothing else, OR you're literally the best person ever. If you're the latter, you're probably super empathetic and appreciate depth as well as a good laugh, and i severley doubt you yourself enjoy maths and chemistry despite loving that look for Wylan. I've also never met a Wylan stan who wasn't a HARDCORE fan of SOC in general. You guys are the loudest complainers about Shadow and Bone being cancelled, and honestly, power to you. I bet your room is a bombsite right now too- pick up those dirty clothes, for christ sake.

Kaz Brekker:

All Kaz Brekker fans are somewhat infatuated with him. Your favourite chapters/scenes are absolutely the action and sexual tension scenes. All about high stakes and excitement, and you love to be surprised. That or you have a big thing for the bad boy trope. I think you have "dark achademia" or grunge-ey pinterest boards that don't match your real life style. I also think you think chess and piano are really sexy but play neither yourself. You and your friends probably read terrible Wattpad stories for a joke. Generally, you're somehow relaxed and simultaneously intense as fuck. 70% of you are Queer women people, other 30% are intensely heterosexual.

Jesper Fahey:

You have Queen on your playlist. Queen or Gorillaz. You're probably a quite casual person who is taken with Jesper's charm and humour, and you appreciate the comedic relief as you don't enjoy too much grit and heavy stuff with no humour breaks. But despite being not the most sensitive person in the world, Jesper's backstory caught you off guard and it HURT. I think you love comedies and action, you're decent at school and you're quite popular with a good circle of friends. A social person. Potential theatre kid, but minor roles/tech, and the only musical you really like is Hamilton lmao. You are generally a funny person, but you've definately experienced that moment where you tell a joke and nobody laughs.

Anybody else:

Non-existent.

[literallyjusttoa]

Muses HC's!

Bc why not, the muses are awesome. Also! Just a quick refresher bc I know not everyone is insane and has all the muses memorized.

Clio: Muse of History

Eutyrpe: Muse of Lyric Poetry

Thalia: Muse of Comedic Poetry

Melpomine: Muse of Tragic Poetry

Terpsichore: Muse of Dance

Erato: Muse of Erotic Poetry

Polyhymnia: Muse of Religious Hymns

Urania: Muse of Astronomy

Calliope: Muse of Epic Poetry

I know that Hesiod said they were daughters of Zeus but you know what I say? I say NO. I instead listen to what some other poets said, which is that the muses are very powerful nymphs that burst forth from sacred streams. I like to think this happened like five months before Apollo was born, and everyone was very confused about these nymphs that seemed to have control over domains that no one else really had any claim over, and then Apollo was born and everyone was like “ohhh that makes sense, yeah.” In a way, they prophesized Apollo’s domains (haha get it, cuz he's the god of prophecy, I’m a genius guys i’m a comedic geni-)

Thalia and Melpomine argue about everything, but they’re also inseparable. You’ll often find them discussing heroes' stories and debating whether or not their lives should take a comedic or tragic turn. 

Calliope doesn’t just write epic poetry. No, she also appraises weapons and artifacts of bygone myths with Clio, maps out constellations with Urania, and watches over upcoming epic heroes with Apollo. She’s really the jack-of-all-trades of the group.

Soprano: Eutyrpe, Thalia Mezzo-Soprano: Terpsichore, Calliope, Erato Alto: Clio, Polyhymnia Contralto: Melpomine, Urania

(Obviously they can sing all the notes but this is like, their preferences when it comes to harmonizing) 

Eutyrpe and Terpsichore love to have mini shows, with Eutyrpe performing any new lyrics she’s cooked up and Terpsichore improvising dances to her songs. 

Clio’s kind of the unofficial leader of the muses. Like, Apollo is the official leader, but whenever he’s out of town Clio’s in charge. 

Whenever Apollo makes a new poem, he shows it to whoever’s sphere it falls into first, and then Urania, bc Urania just loves reading poetry and her praise will heal the bruised ego he might have if the first draft was not approved. 

 Whenever Urania makes a new constellation, the whole group has an overnight star-watching session, where they reminisce on old heroes and make smores. 

Polyhymnia and Erato actually have a lot of overlap. Especially because Polyhymnia was making religious hymns for greek gods and, well, you know how greek gods are. This is why Erato is the only one not surprised by Polyhymnia’s dirty jokes. The other sisters think Polyhymnia is “too pure”

Apollo has been with all of the muses, but it’s honestly more of a queer-platonic sort of thing (and/or a friends with benefits situation) he has a very fluid way of showing affection with all of them, since they’ve been some of his closest companions throughout his life. Also, the ten of them have single-handedly made it through the equivalent of thousands, if not tens of thousands of tech weeks together, and I don’t think anything could bond people together more than that.

[glitteredbubbles]

My Dead Poets Society Hot Takes

(these are all speculative and my own opinion, so not to be taken too seriously):

All of the Poets are homophobic as far as canon goes (even Neil and Todd; they definitely had to battle a TON of internalized homophobia concerning their relationship). I think as a fandom we apply modern mindsets onto the Poets too easily and forget how hellish society was back in the 50s. Yes, the Poets are kind and relatively sensitive young boys, but they’re all still teenagers in a violently homophobic (not to mention racist) society. Being called a queer is easily one of the worst insults that could have been thrown at you back then, and actually being queer was an easy ticket to get institutionalized if not hatecrimed/murdered. I think it’s totally fine if you want to write fanfic that ignores these gruesome facts about the era, but I’ve seen speculation that Neil, Todd, Charlie, etc. wouldn’t be homophobic even when looking at the film through a realistic lens, and I just don’t think that’s the case if we’re taking the setting seriously.

I’m glad that the film cut out the scene where Todd performs his poem after the play. I do think the juxtaposition would be crushing and there’s a lot of cute moments from it (the Poets + Keating and Chris and Ginny dancing on the ice), but it just feels way too out of character for Todd for me. That’s one of the only scenes I’ve seen of the film where it feels like I’m just watching Ethan Hawke and not Todd Anderson. I don’t know how else to explain it, it just doesn’t feel like Todd’s there at all. I think it was a good call to cut it because as devastating as that contrast would be, it’s more impactful to me that Todd doesn’t fully come out of his shell until the ending where he stands up for Keating and Neil.

I don’t think the Poets remain friends after Welton (both in canon and with the exception that Neil survives). Looking at them objectively, they’re a very random friend group with incredibly varying personalities. They almost seem like the friend group that forms during homeroom because you’re always stuck together and might as well get along. While there are certain pairs that stick out as friends, like Neil and Charlie or Meeks and Pitts, I doubt all of them would have ended up in a friend group if not under the conditions of Welton. So I think they kind of stay in contact after they graduate, but then they definitely find their own crowds and eventually fizzle out.

[pinkorchidsinspring]

Why is no one talking about how Taylor named herself “chairman of the tortured poets society”?

Don’t swifties see that if not her sexuality- Taylor has been tortured by something, internally, externally even?

What could a white billionaire such as the Taylor Swift be tortured by?

I’d go as far as to connect it to the lakes:

A SONG WHERE SHE LITERALLY SAYS:

Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die

And then proceeds to list all the reasons she wants to go to the lakes?

The hunters with 📱 cellphones

Sounds a lot like the fans… specifically the ones who don’t know when to stop, and think that they have an invite to criticize her body, and sexualize her friends, and write headlines like “Do you have to be a supermodel with a**ets to be in Taylor’s circle?”. She’s tired of the dissecting, of the sheer inability of these people to ignore any queer references she makes in her art, in order to benefit their ice queen sl*t! Narrative of her.

She doesn’t belong in this society, much like the poets before her.

This homophobic society that will rip apart anyone who pushes the boundaries. That will make any snide remarks possible if she came out, like “for a queer woman” at award ceremonies, or reduce her to her body if they can’t hate on her art.

Her beloved doesn’t belong in this society either

I wonder why her beloved doesn’t belong in this patriarchal, set-up-for-straight-white-males society if he’s a straight white male? “Oh he’s more sensitive than other men”… or Maybe her beloved is a gay woman…🧍‍♀️

Old issues that should be over, have burrowed under her skin, and now hurt her in heart stopping waves of hurt

I don’t even need to say anything about this one.

Name dropping sleezes who tell her what her words are worth

Whether this is a direct reference to Kanye, and scooter, or just in general people who do this. Seems like she’s speaking against the people who tell her what her words are worth… after all, shade never made anybody less gay…

She wants auroras and sad prose

Are none of you getting yet that she’s got a lovely woe is me closeted lesbian thing going on here?

She wants wisteria to grow over her bare feet, because she hasn’t moved in years, and she wants her muse right by her side when it’s growing.

Open your eyes. She wants her muse to be standing by her side WHEN THE WISTERIA GROWS, does that sound like someone who is allowed to stand next to who she wants to on a red carpet without judgement?! Oh and by the way @sunshineheist brought to my attention that wisteria and lavender grow all over the mountains in Big Sur. She’s just writing songs about her mortal enemies though. Obviously.

In conclusion, this is no consequence:

[lost-in-reveriie]

basic info » my name is addy! ⁞ she/her ⁞ minor ⁞ queer (bi/ace?) ⁞ swiftie ⁞ intp ⁞ aries ⁞ bookworm ⁞ music lover ⁞ cinephile ⁞ evermore stan ⁞ theater kid ⁞ introvert (but cant shut up if im comfortable)

other accounts: @thegoodwitchcoven @picturesinmymind <33

more info under cut !!

₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ fandoms

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

⤷ books:

marauders era/harry potter (fck jkr) ⁞ folk of air ⁞ grishaverse ⁞ osemanverse ⁞ the hunger games ⁞ agggtm ⁞ the secret history ⁞ the lunar chronicles ⁞ song of achilles ⁞ seven husbands of evelyn hugo ⁞ rwrb ⁞ arc of scythe ⁞ if we were villains ⁞ they both die at the end ⁞ percy jackson ⁞ i kissed shara wheeler (way more im forgetting)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

⤷ movies/tv

yellowjackets ⁞ good omens ⁞ wes anderson movies ⁞ studio ghibli movies ⁞ iwtv ⁞bridgerton ⁞ arcane ⁞ wwdits ⁞ ofmd ⁞ wednesday ⁞ umbrella academy ⁞ stranger things ⁞ b99 ⁞ friends ⁞ little women ⁞ dead poets society ⁞ 2000s movies ⁞ she-ra ⁞ spiderverse ⁞ cmbyn ⁞ himym ⁞ ianowt ⁞ ever after high (my childhood) ⁞ perks of a being a wall flower ⁞ barbie ⁞ (and many many more)

⤷ music

hozier ⁞ taylor swift ⁞ olivia rodrigo ⁞ gracie abrams ⁞ conan gray ⁞ phoebe bridgers ⁞ lana del rey ⁞ boygenius ⁞ chappell roan ⁞ noah kahan ⁞ lucy dacus ⁞ arctic monkeys ⁞ maisie peters ⁞ renee rapp ⁞ mitski ⁞ ethel cain ⁞ clairo ⁞ beabadoobee ⁞ sabrina carpenter ⁞ lorde ⁞ the neighborhood ⁞ sufjan stevens ⁞ harry styles ⁞ tv girl ⁞ maya hawke ⁞ cigarettes after sex ⁞ MARINA ⁞ (many more, my music taste is all over the place)

⤷ other

» sturniolo fan ⁞ mild coffee addict ⁞ wes anderson and sophia cappola film enthusiast ⁞ occasional mc youtube fan ⁞ chocolate lover ⁞ cat lover (i have one cat and a dog)

» i love musicals!! namely RTC, six, wicked, and beetlejuice (no, im not really a hamilton fan)

» i play guitar and cello, but i love guitar way more and have been playing for around 7 years! (maybe?)

» im really awkward and if i take a long time to respond to smth its because im thinking abt what to say (and im not online much)

» always feel free to vent to me, and you can ask me anything and talk to me any time. don’t be afraid to reach out!! :))

» thanks for reading my intro post!

➤ dni: homophobes, transphobes, racists, ableists, misogynists, sexists, etc., and "sugar daddies" (been getting a lot of those recently), or anyone else who want to do some "stuff" with me, please fuck off

[anincompletelist]

rwrb fic recs! :D

I wanted to take the time to compile a few fics that have massively helped me over the last tough few months and never fail to bring a smile to my face (after the angst, of course)! thank you to everyone who takes the time to write for this lovely fandom, please keep it up! your words are so important and often change lives even when you don't realize it. I hope you're all doing well, and enjoy! <3

(please message me if for any reason you would like to be un-tagged!)

in no particular order:

he looks up grinning like the devil | @coffeecatsme | E | 38k

Henry can’t help it—he lets out a laugh and shakes his head. Beta Sigma Chi being a safe space is about as likely as the Republicans championing queer rights. “Right, and who’s this new president that somehow managed to turn around an entire fraternity?”

Pez winces. She hesitates at first, but then she must decide on something because her chin juts out. “Well,” she says slowly. “It’s Alexander Claremont-Diaz.”

Henry laughs so hard he almost falls off his seat.

Or, Henry Fox learns to fall in love with everything that is Alexander Claremont-Diaz, even if he insists on calling Henry "dude".

--

A Sporting Chance | @clottedcreamfudge | E | 126k

"Marry Henry - destination wedding. Combine all of our names so paperwork is a fucking nightmare." Henry stares at him and Pez rolls the dice, and-

"Congratulations to Alex and Henry Claremont-Diaz-Fox-Mountchristen," he says with a bright grin, and Alex punches the air and makes a 'whooping' noise. "Your wedding is attended by the Beckhams, the President, and several key members of congress. Henry is very gentle on your wedding night." Henry is going to fucking kill Pez.   "Fucking sweet," Alex says, because Henry is apparently the only one here trying not to have a coronary about all of this.

***

It had just been a party game, except now Henry is in way over his head.

--

a degree of fate | (locked) | lockedinmybody | E | 34k

Against the wishes of the palace, Henry decides to go back to university for a graduate's degree in Literature. And when you want to lay low, what's a better place than Austin University? It's not Henry's fault that Alex Claremont-Diaz is also there. Something must be his fault though, because despite having never met before and Henry only knowing him as the son of the Former President of America, Alex Claremont-Diaz clearly hates him. It's going to be a long two years.

--

the poem you make of me | @omgcmere | E | 91k

After being discovered on Instagram as a teenager, Alex Diaz is thriving as a social media influencer and model who just landed a high profile, high fashion contract with Calvin Klein. Alex can get any girl he wants, and he’s loving it. Meanwhile, British poet Henry Fox has just arrived in L.A. to kick off a North American tour promoting his new, steamy book of gay erotic poetry, and he’s attracting a lot of attention.

Bad blood is immediately sparked between them when Henry blows Alex off at their first meeting. Several tabloid rumors and an Instagram tantrum later, Alex and Henry are reluctantly thrust together to make nice, resulting in a grudging friendship and a magnetism between them that Alex can't explain. Why is Henry's poetry making Alex feel like this? And just what is it about Henry Fox that gets to him so much?

--

Mr. BodyPillow | @inexplicablymine | T+ | 21k

Two boys cuddling on a couch right on top of each other because they are in fact very gay™.

Inviting over a complete stranger for cuddles because you are touch starved might be the worst idea Henry has ever had, or the best.

--

More Amour | surveycorpsjean | E | 45k

Alex discovers something in Henry's closet that changes everything.

--

we've been here forever (here's the frozen proof) | @onward--upward | T+ | 12k

Objectively, I am aware that you – a stranger – cannot tell me my own sexuality any better than I can, however... Can you, please? Tell me? It’s 4am and I have been thinking about this for hours, and I can’t sleep.

Warmest regards, ACD *** It’s four in the morning, and Alex Claremont-Diaz has managed to follow a research spiral straight down into a personal crisis. It isn’t the first time.

--

Oblivion | milowren | NR | 31k | please CHECK TAGS & NOTES prior to reading!

What if the moment in the hospital wasn’t a false alarm and the publicity surrounding the forced bromance between Alex and Henry had the adverse effect of them being kidnapped together?

--

But I love him, whether or no. | @leaves-of-laurelin | E | 77k

Henry moves to New York City to help Pez with the opening of his new bar in the East Village. The location—fortunately for business, but unfortunately for Henry’s sanity—is directly across the street from a fire station. The sound of sirens is bad, Alex the gorgeous firefighter is worse. But when Alex helps Henry avoid a near catastrophe the night of the bar’s opening, the two form a tentative friendship that starts to develop into something more.

--

we might just get away with it | (locked) | smc_27 | E | 21k

Alex is a model. Henry is a journalist, and a bit of an asshole. Alex wants him anyway, even when it doesn’t feel good.

--

Hashtag Soulmates | @everwitch-magiks | E | 44k

Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

--

the rubble or our sins | weather_stained | E | 14k

As the Emperor's grandson, Henry despises the gladiator games and resents being forced to attend them — that is, until he sees Alexander fight. 

It's a romance doomed from the very beginning, as Henry's family is already pressuring him into joining the army and finding a wife, but he falls hard for Alex nonetheless. Will Henry find a way to be with him, or will he spend the rest of his life looking back on their time together?

--

that's all for now! I'd like to do this again very soon since there are so many new fics being posted that deserve love as well.

please let me know if there are any issues with the links, if you'd like to be un-tagged, or if you'd like to come and scream about these with me!

another good place for recs is @rwrbficrecs !

if you enjoy any of these (or any fic at all) please know - as someone who writes them as well - every single comment and kudos goes such a long way. it's not necessary, but it's always so much appreciated. <3

thank you for reading, and I hope everyone is having a lovely day/night! :D

-- anincompletelist / sarah

[peppertaemint]

Let's talk about Taemin and Key of SHINee wearing the Scottish fashion house Charles Jeffrey Loverboy, an openly queer unisex brand. There’s a lot of talk about whether idols know who they are wearing and, when relevant, do they understand the meaning of what they are wearing. We know there are clear examples of artists not understanding what they’re wearing. Indeed, 23-year-old, non-English-speaking Taemin admitted in 2021 that he had no idea the fly of his pants read “Open Here” during View era. Yet, a lot has changed this 2015/16. Taemin’s English is quite proficient. And what about Key, who has studied English since he was a child? I think we can consider understanding the words and understanding the context or broader meaning behind words or, as the case may be, symbols, which can be universal.

Taemin in the Advice album photobook, 2021.

The Charles Jeffrey Loverboy brand is no ordinary brand. It’s a spunky, fun and edgy unisex brand with genuine British flavour. From London Fashion Week's write up:

"Looking back to look forward, the collections re-render historical references as intrinsically modern while paying respect to an ancestral line-up of costumiers, performance artists and queer icons. Jeffrey’s nightlife-influenced thirst for experimentation, and belief in the validity of mistakes, result in a colourful tension between control and chaos.

"LOVERBOY’s roots are fixed in London’s queer nightlife scene, having been born in 2014 as both a fashion label and a cult club night. The LOVERBOY parties, first staged while Jeffrey was studying for his Masters in fashion design at Central St Martins in London, were attended by the city’s up-and-coming artists, performers, musicians, drag queens and poets, many of whom became Jeffrey’s future muses and creative collaborators."

Live performance of Advice, 2021.

The tartan in these looks is known as the loverboy tartan. In the current collection, they have an “odorable” loverboy tartan raincoat with giant floppy bunny ears. I’m too lazy to link it, but do look it up and peruse the punk-meets-whimsy items on the website.

Taemin’s stylist for Advice was Kim Wook. You can read an interview with Kim Wook in translation here. Wook talks about he and Taemin wanting to do something impactful before Taemin entered the military, and they settled on working with silhouettes that are usually seen on female dancers. I could do a whole post on Taemin’s styling for Advice (maybe I will!), but to connect things back to the brand at hand, the flamboyantly unisex Loverboy brand seems to be at home with the goal of Advice’s styling. Advice was Taemin’s way of saying “I will go my own way and trust myself over others,” and I don’t think the androgynous or even gender-fluid looks he presented are a coincidence; Wook’s interview shows that it isn’t. These looks feel like a push forward for Taemin, and he’s been clear in saying Advice was a breakaway from his past. Act I and Act II were leading to this moment.

Taemin has been wearing Charles Jeffery Loverboy upon in return in 2023. I think the most significant choice is the non-binary shirt he wore a fan meeting during Hard era. The t-shirt is a jab at conservatives’ obsession with the love lives and indeed, bathroom usage, of LGBT+, saying, “They’re happy and satisfied. Are you?” There is a also a good-sized, unmistakable non-binary symbol on the shirt. I hadn’t seen this symbol before but it was still easy for me to comprehend. As an artist who is increasingly wearing gender-fluid outfits, it is likely a conscious choice to wear a shirt that supports non-binary rights.

Now, we can’t forget fashion-forward, English king Key in all of this. Key has always had a love and fascination with fashion; we saw in One Fine Day his interaction with a local London fashion brands. He’s a man who knows his fashion houses, so it seems unlikely he wouldn’t know about the Loverboy brand or its ethos as a unisex brand.

Key primarily wore Charles Jeffrey Loverboy accessories for his Gasoline promotions in 2022. The adorable hat with ears is statement wrapped in cuteness, that speaks to the camp motif present in both Key’s body of work and the Loverboy label’s. It’s cute, but not too cute. It’s loud but soft, and the Loverboy stamp is there for all to see. I think that Key embodies what LSF wrote about the Lovery label as “a colourful tension between control and chaos.” Key is never afraid to experiment, and he can go from creating iconic androgynous silhouettes reminiscent of ancient gods and Beyoncé to the retro-camp shown below that almost looks like it could be at home in a Ghostbusters film. Almost.

There are contexts where, like the above, it is more than reasonable to assume that the artists understand what they are wearing and that the choices made are conscious and in some cases made with the goal of the comeback in mind. And there are situations where it’s possible or even confirmed by the artist that they didn’t know what they were wearing or what it meant. I think it can become an obsession for some to want the styling to be conveying a secret code. With the case of Charles Jeffrey Loverboy, there’s no code and it’s not secret. It’s simply known and recognised by those who know, which is enough.

[beetheyapper]

Dead Poets Society is genuinely SO important to me and I want to elaborate on why so here u go if you’re interested 🙏

Career

as mentioned in my introduction post, i am studying english and literature. one may wonder what i intend to do with a fine arts degree in english, and the answer is simple. i want to teach. i was very on the fence for a long time about what i wanted to do, all i knew was that i was good at english. i remember watching this film and it clicked, this was what i wanted to do with my life.

the end goal is to be a literature professor, with the intention of additionally publishing a story i’m working on along with some poetry.

keating has, of course, been a major inspiration to me. i want not only to teach, but to inspire as i do so in the same way he inspired those kids. i want others to understand that “words and ideas can change the world,” and that the power of language goes beyond knowing the proper way to write an essay or draft an email. watching the movie and seeing as english and poetry finally click for students like Todd is so inspiring, as that’s what i hope to accomplish. i want to be keating, essentially

Representation

as a queer person (specifically bisexual and nonbinary), the representation in dead poets society simply makes me happy. you can argue with me all day that it’s not meant to be a queer film but EVERYTHING in that film was deliberate and the use of tchaikovsky and whitman, two queer artists of their fields, suggests otherwise. and even if it wasn’t meant to be queer, a lot of queer people still relate to it. there’s really not more to that, other than the fact that representation in media is IMPORTANT. gale hansen also said he thinks charlie is bisexual 🙏

Inspiration

dead poets society is, without argue, an incredibly inspiring film. the message of carpe diem and self exploration are a great reminder to get off your ass and live your life. it’s fun seeing people roughly my age finding passion and having fun and just being silly. it’s nice to hear Keating harp on how much an individual’s voice and thoughts matter. it’s refreshing to remember to look at things differently, to find a new angle, to struggle against great odds and meet enemies undaunted.

to hear the Whitman verse: “Answer. That you are here—that life exists and identity, / That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.” along with Keating’s addition, “What will your verse be?” i mean cmon. you can’t say that doesn’t stir something deep within you.

this movie is literally everything to me, and it has been for the past two years. the degree of my hyperfixation fluctuates, but it’s always bound to come in full at least once every month or so. thank you to robin williams, the poets, and peter weir for such an incredible and life-changing movie