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rennyji · 3 months

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(Updated midway with a section on January 18, 2024 11:10 PM)

my tale, written between Sunday and Monday of 2024 - hopefully the last of it

How many lives have to be ruined for national security or whatever the visible or invisible government plans are (you might not even realize the government is involved), be it with brain mapping or something else?

So what can I intuit about my situation, from just being in it over several years, with the presence of not just my own life as a variable, but everyone and thing I come across?-

- There seems 2 be a similarity 2 a show 4 troubled kids I think I saw in passing, as I went upstairs, in my old house, where I remember mom saying harshly: some deserve it. It struck me @ time or was an ominous moment, b/c I was having trouble w/my parents believing me, 16 yrs ago, that I sensed trouble in my environment.-

- the show for troubled kids investigates troubled youth by likely victims of helicopter parenting.-

- 4 exposing children of these parents, if there is alleged drug use or some 1950s style of culture/behavior disagreement (b/c we live in day and age of legal cannabis use/House of Reps on verge of fist fights/plane doors flowing off in 2023-24 amidst modern day of supposed advanced tech), the show profits over putting them on TV, for the world to humiliate them. Yeah, they clearly don’t have the capacity to think farther in2the lives of already troubled youth that they broadcast.-

- over everyday nuances, just by being alive in this, I realize 1 or more levels of orchestrators look 2 expose me in vulnerable states. From things said in passing by Drs-w/o much info directly from me-like “being engrossed in appearance,” U suspect w/o interference 2 your functioning, the show for troubled kids probably shows you with acne spot treatment in the house. Meanwhile, the government may seize awkward moments like these to take away credibility and following of an individual, by allowing them to be made into a fool, spanning years. But that’s a separate point. -

-upon realizing these things or aware of possibilities, U think of ways 2 cope, in what should be sanctity of ur home. (At time of proofreading this, I'm hearing Nikki Haley's Town Hall: saying "we are a country of laws." I like what she's doing, but my life is testament to this not being a country of laws.) What do I do to deal with the very real possibility of being constantly on spot? You do things like walking around in ur boxers. The rationalization is, the perpetrators relaying ur life are exposed as that much much more scum, cuz ur depicted in an indecent manner. Doing these kind of things gives some sense of self defense, when someone else is on the offensive against you, without reason, through something like the show for troubled kids. Now there could be the real show for troubled kids. Or it could be an independent program that adopts the theme of a troubled kids show. If its through the theme route, it could be some cr*p about mind reading making someone naked in perception. However it may have arrived in my life, the literal or metaphorical troubled kids show probably didn’t find anything bad, in the life of my youth.-

- so, I’m just assuming they now need a way to justify their presence. They also want to cash in for spying on me. Maybe, to cover both those things, they see opportunity. They think maybe they'll show how good a person actually is, which is the opposite of what they normally do. and then as the years go by, for whatever reason that wasn't working out for them, they return back to: how bad, now an adult, is, through psychological abuse from treating him as a child. Maybe show for troubled kids was additionally ambitious to expand their reach to young adults or those 18 and above. Maybe they wanted to offer parents a way to snoop on their sons/daughters in the college life. And in something like that, they see a new way to make money-

***

---

To go on a tangent,

People see a doctor when they have something bothering them or affecting their functioning. Some people delay the visit to the doctor, whichever doctor, whatever the condition, for as long as possible. It’s an adult choice, for better or for worse.

For some reason, I’m seen as so ill, that my parents, at my 35 years of age, need to get involved, and there's this group of orchestrators, consisting of therapists in some shape or form, who see themselves as so saintly, that they “just” want to help me- but it’s not through the normal dynamic of face to face contact, where there’s mutual conversation. It’s them affecting the therapist you are seeing, and forcing them to convey their viewpoint and treatment. For talking about them and everything else, I was put through ECT or shock therapy, for the mentally ill, 20 times. Theyll say, while drugs like clozapine-like antipsychotics are diminishing my good judgment as well as the length of my situation is instilling desperation, it’s my fault "for going along" with the ECT. What happened to the "orchestrator overlords" and their pupeteering of my doctor/parents, in this regard? Knowing I’m aware of my situation and the chapter of my life before the Albany nonsense, was ECT (shock therapy) really necessary? But it’s a stupid world, and people, like those running it, are also stupid.

Does that make sense?!

(Now that I think of it, yeah, this definitely comes off as a show for troubled kids.)

The input, that the show for troubled kids, output to strangers, literally for entertainment, was from cameras spying on the victim, or the kids that they target. Now such shows, or maybe more specifically: such people - they now have the ultimate camera. They can see deep into a persons past - ammo given by the FBI and American government. I say FBI because I went to them, and instead of helping or acknowledging my situation, knowing I was into writing, they directed me to a financial internet crimes form that enabled unlimited updates. Was it something innocent or an honest mistake or something naively used to get rid of me, while I'm talking about stalkers and hacking?

Looking into my past, what was my biggest offense, to myself, my family, or others?

Out of their being nothing, are all the orchestrators just cherry picking what’s open to interpretation?

My parents can be: simply put: weird.

I remember an argument that was severe, with my parents, when I wanted a part time job in high school. My parents were furiously opposed, because that would mean I have money to possibly do something, for what counts as questionable to my parents. Strict parents.

I remember when I wanted to learn to drive. My parents see it as one more thing they need to worry about. They delayed me driving as much as possible, and gave me an endless hard time, tying in anxiety to the exacerbated experience.

Something else that happened during those years, Around that time, my mother broke her arm, by standing on a "tipping-over" milk carton, in our, then, backyard garden. My father somehow blamed me for the incident, as God and/or the devil, punishing the family, for a bad or disobedient son. But what did I do? I think around that time, I got a bad grade on a test or it was their lack of processing towards my frustration with their perception of me driving. Could it all have been cyclical nothing?

Now, I tend to get angry with my dad, in general, because it’s just hard being around him, because of his magical thinking. Recently, from his bedroom, I heard him talking to someone on the phone, saying: "all we can do is endure, and forgive in these situations. If we make any effort, we risk making it worse.”

It could be about anything. But the thing is, this statement is a testament to his beliefs.

Recently, I addressed how to pray. Prayer is a tool for us to be introspective and understand what our flaws are, and make an explicit effort to ask for help, in inhibiting those flaws. But it seems my dad doesn’t want to make the effort to realize flaws, from a belief God knows what flaws are and about everything, in general, and He'll just wave his finger and make flaws vanish. He thinks we just need to ask to be delivered from Satan. But part of the process of prayer is for "man, him/herself to realize" what's wanted, needed, and to be corrected. His belief system makes me angry. Is my situation, lasting this long, in part, because, he’s trying to hide his flaws, by pinning the attention on me and something like my eating habits in a stressful situation? The bigger question: Is my situation lasting this long, because dear old dad doesn’t want to creatively think outside the box and come up with something on his own, in place of a high level statement asking God to make problems disappear? Its like my parents don’t like actual and metaphorical effort. They think all they need to do is tell GOD to do the figuring and work for them, in place of the “doing your part” and then leaving God "to do the rest."

My parents mistake their part as throwing money to therapists and meds which they're not even sure, works. This is in part, because, they’re told to ignore me, when I talk about what I’m experiencing from "my SITUATION". This mode of action is encouraged by orchestrators, proxying through, and replacing: my therapists' actual diagnosis/opinions.

If its about mind readers showing how horrible mankind is, or a troubled kids show showing how horrible youth are: In my whole life, as the orchestrators have the record, what is my crime? It’s not because I’m a saint. If there's no detectable wrongdoing in my past, its because I had a purpose and a goal: to get through school, so that I can finally have a life and live life. I spent hours studying. Never opportunity for something bad.

You gotta ask: Did I shoplift, did I beat someone up, did I have sex in high school, have I ever done any illegal drug, have I drunk more than 10?! beers in my 35 years of existence, did I sneak out of the house in high school?, did I get bad grades, did I go to bars and party/use fake Ids, was I spending all my time hanging out with friends instead of prioritizing school, did I hit my parents?

Will my parents claim that I’m somehow mean to parents? What did I say, what did I do? What are the details/what are the specifics?

What's the conclusion we arrive at? The show for troubled kids basically saw an opportunity to extend their reach to 18+ year olds with "easy-to-manipulate" parents. They saw opportunity to go beyond cameras, and deep dive into someone’s past.

The troubled kids show, realizing nothing was wrong, again,from being over ambitious and legally concerned, make the decision to show how good I am.

--I think this is where I intended to "leave the tangent"...

In my Freshman years at Binghamton, as an engineering major, there was one guy, who was transferring as a computer science major to SUNY Stonybrook, who happen to tell me, in passing, "Don't ask me how, but you're going to be famous one day." Never second guessed it, as its a randm/odd thing to say to someone, but it paints a timeline. That was in 2006.

There was a day in maybe 2007, or maybe 2008, where I was talking across a library coffee shop with my parents about the difficulties of engineering and they were consoling me. Now I noticed something odd that I again put out of my mind for years, since there was no reason to keep thinking about it, then. The staff at the coffee shop, from across the distance to the lounge tables where we were seated, seemed glued and very much touched by a conversation that I didn't understand as audible to them. I've wondered how they could hear from the distance. Was some level of relaying happening then? - That kind of moments in time throws the Albany hacking, out of sorts, on the timeline.

I later transferred to SUNY Albany, in 2010, as a computer science major, after a failed attempt at engineering.

In this chapter the strange kids and SUNY Albany faculty get involved.

-around time of attempt @ engineering @ Binghamton, I was struggling b/c there wasn’t long term/stable/long lasting focus aid likeVyvanse. I kept failing @ whatever i endeavered, b/c my focus was that bad, I got thru high school b/c of rote learning-what Indians call mugging up.-

- around that time in Binghamton, there was girl I liked. With us Indians, we generally hang around other Indians. In big America, it’s hard to find someone attractive to your interests, with a small subset or minority of people.-

-& b/c I'm corny, I look 4 things like a smile I don’t have, or a name that flows w/mine. Now around that time, there were people seen around her, and this is in Binghamton, that seem 2 be present or similar in appearance 2 people Ive seen in Albany, when i embarked on comparatively easier computer science major at the institution-

-when I was in India, from 2013-2014, after I gave up enduring and trying to figure out the craziness happening in America, I saw some similar looking kids there too. Now in brown India, these American caucasian kids really stand out. I was going from place to place, like Albany/Indida because I just wanted peace of mind and the sanctity of my own apartment and a job to occupy my time.-

- Fast forward past my Albany time from 2010-2013, and then to during my India period from 2013-2014, there too: themes keep coming up. “Let’s get him out,” “he’s always working.” I took a coding bootcamp there, which I happen to ace and be first in my class, and the students of the camp say: " "They" said we have to irritate him to get him to react." I’ve bumped into people with these kind of impressions, and it gets worse: when they act on them. Then what complicates it more, is when ur Indian mother, wondering why ur not going to the Indian Church, also hears these things from people she thinks are part of your circle or world. Your parents hear from strangers, like a complaint, that your son is mean and anti-social. Because they're medically oriented, the think you have some fear of going outside...I mean you're not going out to their Church.

But what the SUNY Albany and parents, made a fool by these kids, didn’t realize, was that the stalkers kids meant “going out” in the colloquial or slang sense. They want to know why I’m not partying or hitting the bars, at a time when, I, am again, advancing in years. I think the stalker-kids are still going on about in the present day.-

- the miscommunication is that bad. I talked about strange kids being in pursuit of me. There are kids proxying between Suny Albany and my parents at that time from 2010-2013. When I mention strange kids saying abnormal things in my vicinity, for some reason, no 1 thought "those kids" are "these kids." -

- what complicates it further is: apparently the incentive of these kids to get me to go out is so that their friend can not be concerned with me and move onto other people. Complete and total nonsense and I'm telling my findings to family, doctors, police. They were influencing my reputation on an everyday level, as a person, not on a professional basis YET, or street reps-

-I’m sure, at this point, school was tired of the bull sh*t they got involved in, and then succumbed to a project, to indirectly deal with me, so that they look less foolish.

- now those kids and school are talking about crazy things like me not going out of my way to say hello to strangers, when they were the only ones trying to...I dunno...reach me for some unknown reason, from a distance.-

-if it sounds crazy or the wording sounds crazy, I'm talking about actual crazy people through convoluted descriptions about the unknown.

At Suny Albany, I had a popular twitter account w/ followers I gained thru marketing software. These strange kids and then the school, get the idea, that the twitter account, without a well known face, meant I’m famous.-Yeah it’s that stupid.-

- Struggling with ADD and a failed chapter with engineering, I stuck to myself and tried to finish my college chapter as soon as possible.-

-It was my second attempt at college. Before Vyvanse, I was someone who failed Java programming 3 times. In Albany, with Vyvanse, I got an "A" in Java, advanced Java programming, and TAed Java programming.-

- I was stretching my parents finances and I couldn’t afford screwing up computer science, as they also had to send my brother to college. Now the problem with the show for troubled kids, SUNY Albany faculty: is that they keep “interpreting my actions.” I have no idea Y I’m even in their radar. They're probably responsible for perceptions that I’m in Albany because I’m there to work. I kept talking to people who for some reason thought I was pursuing a grad degree or was done with school and working. But it could be my mature face, by which I mean old, and not a skinny teenager.-

- Now those kids, one of whom I saw or could’ve sworn I saw, in Binghamton, in Albany, and in India (sounding crazy, right), got involved with the show in Binghamton in some way. If that's true, real responsible of the show for troubled kids to not even vet who these kids are...you'd think a show for troubled kids would know troubled kids when they see it...but then this all could be happening or not happening...Then the next crazy thing happens.-

- I don’t know what the fire is, that's fueling these strange kids. People on campus seemed to be interested when I’d so much as walk with a girl, and the girl friend of one of my first set of roommates at Albany, was overly interested why I was in Albany. You start wondering, could this be even crazier. Its crazy to assume any of this, but this seems to build/snowball-

- were these kids spreading the next load of cr*p, that I left Binghamton from a broken heart or something? Why would I think such a thing. I kept seeing women in cars give actual expressions of "Don't go" and there "was" this interest in seeing me walk around women. Stupid nonsense. These are things a person has floating in their head. But who acts on these things. You keep ignoring.-

- but then the next crazy thing happens. There’s the show, the meddling kids, and when I reached Albany, there was a Professor Berg, A Professor Haas, and a Sys Admin (last name Augustine) who saw my open situation as a good opportunity to play with high level hacking tech. The reasoning? Whatever was making me visible, would also show the effect of their hack...(I'm kinda happy we're shifting to talking about the more morbid stuff now...)-

- the tech hacks, in a traditional sense, can display computer screen contents (maybe like a white web page with a square in the middle displaying my computer contents, the hacking tech can hack phones (I called the FBI, since they deal with hacking, and a member of the demographic I kept having run ins with, at Albany, said vehemently says "stop calling." Would the FBI abruptly say this?!).-

- Now this gets a level crazier. There’s something that can projects sounds and see through my eyes.-

-Ages ago, I’m assuming the kids, somehow knew I was watching "Silver Linings Playbook, and the kids think, or the kid like voices think, I’m the obsessed guy in the movie, and they were condescending about it conveying it to me. Obsessed on who? On someone I don't know? Obsessed on someone I had one conversation with? -- I can only assume as the list is small. Is this about someone from several years ago, and I'm dealing with kids related in some fashion, 3 or 4 years later? Why does any of this matter and what does this have to do with the show for troubled kids or the hacking, since my time at SUNY Albany? How the h*ll are these kids getting involved in everything? They output cr*p, but everyone uses them. On one occasion, I heard "What do you mean they don't know each other?!) Of all the things..."Silver Linings Playbook"? Where highlighted in relation, did I give a picture (like I had one?) indicating who you're thinking? Who would that person be to Albany-ites? Is this person famous to be known everywhere in some way? Who are you referring to and who do you think I'm connected with? Do I actually have stalkers, in strange kids, across time and places? Are they spreading things and blaming me? Am I famous? Shouldn't I know if I'm famous? Use the word: "famous" with a psychiatrist. All sounds crazy. More importantly, how do people recognize me in the city of Albany, where I've never been? Is there a picture of me going around? Are people alerted to my presence somehow? Am I on the mark when I suggest: "people are aware of me, when I'm on the road?" Can that statement or question be misconstrued in any other way?

If I'm hearing something, are other people hearing something different that I cannot hear? Are they able to hear what I'm hearing? Is the content different?-

-Again, Obsessed over who? When I was in Albany, I was occupied with the YMCA, eating at Chipotles, my own apartment, my part time jobs, and of course: college academics! Why would I on a normal day, have any type of following, and that too, if I’m minding my own business? Is that why my apparent stalkers are wondering why I'm never out, colloquially speaking? and this sentiment must grow. Under the assumption of troubled kids show, they're probably like bingo: we found something to use against him. The hackers amongst SUNY Albany faculty? They need me to write, speak, go out and about, so that they can perfect their mind reading/mind control technology. Yeah, I said it: mind reading/mind control technology. And it continues snowballing...because when things go unchecked without consequences, things snowball to something so unbelievable, anyone with a reputation, responsible, would want to hide it under a rug.-

- now there a lot of stress from all this floating in my mind .It made me lose my hair in a year. little hair I have is from a hair transplant in the front. Stress can make U look old. When everything’s going wrong, diet may not be best either. and then these retard kids open me to criticism with comments like "he was discovered"-

-what's worse, my environment at SUNY Albany gets hostile. As far as I know, I was minding my own business. I'm overly polite when I'm with strangers, because I just want to return home and attend to what I like or responsibility. While I"m driving to SUNY Albany, on the day of 3 final exams in the year of 2012, the neighborhood kids waiting for the school bus seem on the alert. I hear someone in my apartment parking lot say maliciously: "Have a good day!" You wonder: if it's an auditory hallucination, how loud can a hallucination be? Can be like a megaphone in the midst of your apartment complex's parking lot? During my exams, in my exam rooms, outside my exam rooms, chaos ensues. While I'm walking to my exams, there seem to be faculty lined up along the way with phones, like they know they need to watch out for me. Did the world just end and decide to make me look crazy? During my first exam, something suspicious happens. I start twitching from bordering two realities in my situation. My professor sees this from the front of the lecture hall and alerts a student adjacent to me, "Get a drink of water." The student didn't ask. He's told. He goes outside, my professor looks at me like "look what you did", and I hear the guy telling people outside: "Enough, he crying." From the stress, I couldn't finish my exam. My professor allows me to finish an exam I didn't finish (who does this for no reason) in a conference room in the computer science department. I'm there with a TA watching me. From outside the door where you can see shadows through the screen, my professor, a professor with a limp, and the department secretary break into conversation. They say "is he okay? I don't know what's wrong with that kid; must be on drugs. Everyone is trying to help him." The TA is in the room with me. He's pale in complexion. I ask him if he heard the professors. He turns visibly red and tells me to focus on my exam. Once I leave the room, there's the ever suspicious Professor, I never had for a class: George Berg walking, disturbed, in the opposite direction.

Some time after, when I'm in my studio apartment in Albany, I’m watching “Being John Malkovich,” and I heard a claim that someone was somehow seeing what I was eyeing, by being in my head, like in the movie: "Being John Malkovich."- Were they trying to make me go crazy?

- Fast forward years later, I’m so furious with my situation, I punch a hole in my bedroom wall (Normal adult guy things, but I’m in a situation where I’m constantly depicted as aggressive & mean, all w/o evidence or basis), and I hear my mom walking towards my room. She stops midway/abruptaly. I get sense “something is seeing thru my eyes" and warns her from coming any further. I get a sense of the much denied: “remote viewing” done by governments.-

- Google “remote viewing” by governments or see my earlier posts. Now, going back to the story: I'm still in Albany, because I’m a computer science/"attempt-at-engineering" guy. But while I was engineering in Binghamton, 2-3 years before my time specified incident in Albany, I was part of the IEEE engineering organization & received their magazines. Their magazines are about the latest tech. 1 day, in magazines that I barely read, I saw a page on wireless hacking w/waves. If nothing, this opens my mind to what's possible and becomes remembered years later.-

- again things floating through a persons mind, that pop up in ur head, during impossible life circumstances. There was just a growing amount of proof about wireless wave hacking, troubled kid shows,-

-and remember: I mentioned these 3 comp sci faculty at SUNY Albany. They have some kind of toy, that they decided to use on me, while I was writing to twitter.- probably to verify that their tech worked by seeing what I outputted to twitter and what's visible to whatever program, focused on me, was happening at the time-

- I hear something about stolen tech, from...wait for the crazy: projected sounds! apparently, while someone’s in Germany, they stole or made a copy of something that gives hacking power on one or more levels. Now, if that's getting mixed up in my already convoluted snowballing situation, the argument that follows is someone trying to justify use of that or legalize it. Everything happening then till now, I explain with what I know and observe.

- The faculty with the tech were never my professors. So they probably thought I wouldn’t recognize their voices. The faculty were all in on it.

- Around this time in Albany, there’s news about anonymous social networking, while a school organizes to give me a day of h*ll in 2012. On the news, the NSA is talking about data collection. Someone at the FBI-when I tell them about all the oddities in my situation directs me to an unlimited complaint form: the IC3. So now I'm getting facts or perceived facts and a resource. Now remember, I mentioned three comp sci faculty at SUNY Albany. On certain days, when I’d write, a Professor Haas walks “past” the the student lounge I’m located in, and says “he doesn’t know if it’s the FBI or us, helping him.

-I still dont' get the obsession over "help" and what the "help" was about. I've said, if people are with me, why aren't they "with" me? I mean where are they? Why is no one talking to me?

- when I try 2 explain my situation, in all its angles on a complaint form, Professor Berg, on one occasion, does what all the faculty at the school does. While “in my direction/vicinity, he says “oh we we helped ‘them” we went in the wrong direction. people are so stupid. I got an idea to show how foolish people are. It’s going to be scary.” -

- now in his random message, that he says close to me, so that I can hear it, and maybe expected to read into it, probably to make me look crazy and save the reputation of the school, he says the word “them.” I’m getting repeated signs and confirmations pointing to strange kids again. And how do you react to strange professors you never had, not talking to you, in a one to one, but around you from a distance, so. you can hear.

I confronted the VP of the school about what I perceived. He said I was crazy. The school is a community. When it failed with the VP, I tried talking to the President of the school. For trying to talk to him, I was "put on disciplinary probation." The accusation was "I"m pursuing the president." Pursuing the president? Sounds like, because the school is a community, and the President was retiring, they didn't want me to mix the retiring President of the University with my escalating randomness. This could be one more reason whatever show I'm in, adopts a troubled kids theme. It could all be rooted in SUNY Albany. They hated me because they thought "who does this guy think he is, wanting to talk to the VP of Student Affairs or the President of the school." This could have been all that's needed to set the orchestrators on my tail with a spirit of vengeance.

- as my time in Albany progresses, I get a sense of some kids that I think are involved as the stalker kids I'm theorizing on. On one occasion, when I write about kids that I think R involved, through description about them or what classes they’re in, the school narrows these nameless kids and alerts them. Then I see them walk past me angrily. And if I say that I’m seeing and hearing unknown nameless kids, I’ll be viewed as crazy. On another occasion, I kind of become like a detective with that unlimited FBI internet hacking complaint form. I give my profile of certain professors I think are in on what's going on. The very next day, some of them walk past me, saying "Now our names are on "that thing." I mean ... I didn't say anything bad...Could all this be a hallucination, in its complexity, in the various people I never had contact with? For that professor to be irritated her name is on "That thing", it could be that the faculty member with the stolen hacking tech is lying about or carelessly reading what I wrote about the faculty. Maybe he or they are trying to involve more people at the school.-

- while describing my situation & what it’s coming off as, from what I’m seeing daily, over 3 years, from 2010-2013 at Albany, at about that time, Professor George Berg gets excited one day. He seems to suspect that I’m picking up on sounds he’s projecting to me, from what I'm writing on my FBI complaint form. I see him one day, excitedly going2 tell some1.-

- now again putting two and two together, I suspected he’s going to school of nanoscale engineering. That’s the only properly run portion of SUNY Albany and the most techy. Professor Haas walks by on another day, when I say stop hacking me on the complaint form, "The Freedom of Information Act" allows it. If I was hallucinating, how would I know about the "Freedom of Information Act?" Was it in my Google searches? Doesn't the actual FBI keep track of such things? or doesn't the NSA keep track of cell phone records. So I google it and the indirect dialogue continue between me and the computer science faculty. I realize, from memory, the Freedom of Information Act has Exemptions. I think I highlighted Exception 3. When I did, I indicated they can't hack and relay me. I was talking about perceived slander because something was making me notable in people's eyes or hostile towards me. I google and realize, if I'm notable, with or without knowing it, then slander becomes libel. Somewhere along the lines, I hear things about brain mapping.-

- I go 4 doctor visits & learn about fMRIs. I realized a crude form of mind reading & mind control can be accomplished, by mapping the brain, detecting which emotions light up to projected sounds/speech, and that you can recording things said externally in my head and then try to detect it.-

-The FBI directed me to an unlimited complaint form, where when I wrote, the audible orchestrators are getting excited and encourage repeated use, which one could intuit is to understand my speech and thinking. When I worked for PepsiCo, they instigate confrontations with-

- manager and me, where he’s told one thing and I’m directed another way, and they try to create situations where long emails are written or constant self defense conversations are given.-

- what the American government and FBI did, was provide a way for the show, the kids, and SUNY Albany, to get as much ammo on me to save them, by giving the very people I complained about, keys to my head. Why won't they save me?

- clearly when a group of white kids, with black faculty, at a school, and the local FBi office in Bethlehem(in the district of Albany, NY), want to rain h*ll on a brown man from NYC, they get the approval, and, not for 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, but something around 16 years.

- you wanna know something interesting amidst all this brain mapping/ mind reading situation? One of faculty who’d “say things in my vicinity” to, probably, make me look crazy, to at least my parents and doctors, a Professor Haas, happen to have died of a brain aneurysm. Coincidence? Death from something in the brain? When I'm involved in a brain mapping/brain wave project?-

- did professor haas die as consequence 4 letting enough info spill?It’s sounds like what the government is reported as doing, in all these fringe shows. They kill someone or make someone disappear. Then he also happens to be a Caucasian Buddhist, who happened to be cremated very shortly after death. Now you can't investigate the death either.-

-now Professor Haas may have suffered from high blood pressure. I think a semester b4, I saw him in a t shirt, jogging on campus. He was trying 2 do something about his situation. Prof Haas was notably outspoken & maybe ill tempered. I didn’t get the feeling he was admired.-

- when he died a semester later, after making attempts to attend to his health, a semesters worth of time before, the computer science faculty gave him, an advertised, memorial service, on campus. He was 1 of the 3 exposed to the stolen tech of probably the sys admin of the time.-

-I have reasonable evidence, this is now happening from "what’s seen thru my eyes" or from "detecting the content from the part of my brain, processing what my eyes are seeing." By replicating waves in this, U get an image. the public is probably tricked to thinking: it’s relaying my typing “as” I’m typing through cell phone or laptop hacking.-

- relaying, as I’m typing, thru hacking tech, happened a decade ago. Now it’s brain hacking. When it was tech hacking, I noted, when I’d use the lounge area, in my off campus Albany apartment community, and used their WIFI, that the hacking wasn’t limited to my IP or MAC address from the paid service in my studio apartment.-

- it was wireless tech hacking. It was happening with waves. I knew no one put any spy device in my apartment, because I had motion sensor cameras in my apartment. I I knew when maintenance staff came in and there was only a saved record of one maintenance record. My computer had monitoring software because I’m a techie. I paid for firewalls and antivirus. Things with hacking shouldn't have been so straight forward with me. When I made submissions to the FBI crime tip site, I saved the tips, I recorded data packets with WireShark, I took screenshots since the crime tip site doesn't send detailed conversations. I was really getting into my situation. It seemed like my phone was being hacked because its content was known by one or more people. I bought burner prepaid phones from Walmart. On one occasion, I texted my brother that I'm on my way home, in hexadecimal. It seemed like the hexadecimal was translated from what I heard from the projected sounds. -

- I never typed my passwords, and used a password manager, so that rules out keyloggers. Everything I know is from trial and error, and knowing what my world should’ve been and what it has become.-

- At that time, I’d remove the batteries from my Samsung phone, which had removable battery compartment, unlike iPhones and other Apple products, when I wanted privacy. I took out the wireless card from my nonApple products and used wired connections. But still, after something like Drs appntment, with my phone battery out, other people were still reacting 2 something On the roads. And it was the usual demographic: college age youth looking on their phones with certain expressions.-

- This leads way to brain hacking and "what my ears hear" or "hacking some other tech" in vicinity like an Alexa device. The school then decides to cover its tracks. My parents get duped into school telling them I’m a paranoid schizophrenic, despite all the things they engaged in.

- the George Berg faction? despite asserting he knew he was doing wrongdoing, tells parents and show, "we can prove all of it" or "fix allegedly crazy Renny" through getting him involved in a time consuming project, where memories and information allegedly become visible.-

- 2 further complicate things, no 1 can speak 2 me, I can’t talk 2 them about situation.

I remember in Albany, school abused use of community. People at school would get friends in community 2 check who was “following me” based on rumors of stalker kids.-

- But aren’t "those people" now following me to figure out who's following me? Are these people retarded? I know from first four years, of a car, and college experience, how people look on the road.-

-When that changes, & like how things are done things now( telling people when I’m on the road), how am I a schizo thinking people are following me? I’d see the strangest things. Police cars driving in area of my apartment, as though school or something told him, give him courage by driving by his apartment. But what does that sound like? It sounds like black helicopters or white trucks reported as being seen as scare tactics near military bases like the infamous Area 51. Was someone trying to give me "signs" to make me look crazy, scare me out of Albany, or the complete opposite: give me courage?-

- You have no idea the amount of stupidity & negligent use of resources. Like police cars or community members. All because of the very obvious truth behind a situation: -no one talks to the individual at the center of all this. -It’s just a snowball of justifications. -Now they want to to try know "of" me by allegedly mind reading me. the mind reading is the justification for never speaking to me or actually knowing me. They see opportunity like "hey this is perfect, lets see what kind of info we can fish for, through waves in his head-

-But again figures…it’s America…a circus. Because of negligent law makers and drug/alcohol abuse, you have people not properly checking, if trains in NYC, will derail twice in a week, or if plane doors will fly open mid flight,-

- or not vetting House Reps resumes, to see if lying, or if guy copiloting a plane, is mentally sound, and not on drugs, and not putting the flight at gunpoint.-

- what all these people have in common? They don’t care about consequences or someone convinces them of a lack of consequences.-

- Biblically it’s said, “whoever harms the innocence of these little ones, it’s better they tie a rock around their head and drown themselves.” This little ones are symbolic of an innocent mind. Someone that harms the sanctity of the mind burns in h*ll-

- isn’t America about protecting dignity of even 1 American life?! Isn’t justice system about releasing 100 guilty people, over throwing 1 innocent life in trouble/jail? Ive been in my situation longer than others in jail. Y is my innocent life not worth dignity of freedom?-

- a follower of Christ said, “Master, let me bury my father, before following You” Christ sharply responds, “Let the dead bury the dead.” The lesson is not to wait, to stop an injustice, especially simply b/c we’re closer to the end than the beginning. Stop injustice now.-

“Justice should be swift and indiscriminate.”

UPDATED ADDITIONAL TUMBLR POST BELOW

what am I not seeing, if you're thinking something else...foul play? Deceit? Trickery at its worst?!

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onlythebrave-mp3 · 3 years

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my top 2020 fics!

okay! so i recently jumped back into this fandom after a couple of years, and started reading fic again, and i wanted to rec some of my favorites that were written this year. there’s ten on this list, and i probably could’ve done like 30 but this is already so long lol. it’s kind of in a general order, so #1 is my fav for this year, but i tried not to focus on the ranking too much because it stresses me out and i don’t need any more anxiety so it’s ended up being a pretty vague system.

1. Our Lives, Non-Fiction (113k) by @indiaalphawhiskey

listen. I’ve reblogged this fic like 10 times. I’ve read it twice already and it came out less than 3 weeks ago. It is an instant classic, right up there with fics like TIF or Wear it like a Crown. It has gorgeous, gorgeous writing, a thoroughly developed plot and well written character development, and such a compelling story. It is a marcel/louis fic, and I usually shy away from that kind of thing, but i’m so glad i didn’t this time because god, this one is so good. Seriously, if anyone ends up reading it, come and rant to me about it and we can cry together. Halfway through the second chapter, I created a note on my phone so I could keep track of everything I loved, and my comment on that fic is essentially a love letter to @indiaalphawhiskey. It's just so good. If you’re going to read one fic off this list, read this one.

2. Loving You's a Bloodsport (106k) by @rosesau

okay i’m pretty sure this one made me cry like four times, which is a feat for me because i’m not usually a crier. Its soulmates with a little bit of a twist, and the plot is so well developed. Harry and louis’ feelings and their progression are written so vividly and i wish i could forget that i read it so i could go and read it again for the first time. It's also got some enemies to lovers, which is my favorite trope, and all of the side characters are beautifully developed as well. Prince!Harry, soldier!Louis, angsty soulmates. What more could you want? Oh and if you’re not convinced enough, here is a quote that fucking follows me around because its so beautiful: “Love and hate are two sharp knives balanced on a very fine line and I’ve cut myself on both because of you.” (ohmygod)

3. Mine Would Be You (114k) by @crinkle-eyed-boo

okay this one is listed at number three but it really should be 1c lol. I started this one at 11 pm like an idiot, and i don’t think i slept that night at all. It's Exes to lovers, and it's so well written. It switches between the past and the present, it's heartbreakingly beautiful, the breakup and resolution are both so realistically written as well, and there's a great ot5 plotline too that i really loved. This one was also an instant classic- i bookmarked it before i even finished reading it. It's also got beautiful art and Louis and Harry are both artists in NYC, which I'm a slut for. Please read this one, it's so good.

okay i just realized how long this got so i’m putting the rest under the cut

4. The Murmur of Yearning (93k) by @mediawhorefics (for some reason tumblr isn’t letting me tag them??) | mediawhore on ao3

I just finished this one, and my goddddddd it's so good. I read it in a day, and it's essentially 100k. Which isn’t that unusual for me except I did skip a class to get through it (an exam prep class. Not my finest moment but I passed. so.) There are tons of original characters that draw you in, and the whole world that is created is so fascinating and detailed. There's also no homophobia, so if you like historical fics but get triggered by that kind of thing, this is for you! Also, if you’re worried about the non-con elements, I'm sure you could message the author but also feel free to check in with me! I’ll definitely be rereading it in the near future and am totally up for discussing and crying over this fic with anyone.

5. Remember Me Fondly by @bluejeanlouis | kiddle on ao3

ahhhhhhh this one made me sob too! It's set in both the present and the past, and I fell in love with all of the characters. This one is also heartbreaking, but I promise there’s a happy ending. Also, they way this fic deals with the fame and the homophobia and tours that harry and louis went through -even if it isn’t actually canon and is set in the 90s- is so vividly painful and realistic. It's written half through a journalist’s eyes and half through harry and louis, yet the switch in pov is so seamless and fluid and adds so much to the piece. 11/10.

6. Nothing But You On My Mind (83k) by @absoloutenonsense | nonsensedarling on ao3

okay. I started this in the middle of the night, and told myself I'd read one chapter to see if I liked it and then I would go to sleep. I'm pretty sure I read like 6. It sucks you in right from the beginning, and there's such a well developed plot. And it's so unpredictable and all of the details are so nuanced and tiny and then you look back at everything after you’ve finished it and go oh. Ohhhhhh. This one is also enemies to lovers. Are we sensing a pattern here?

7. An Invincible Summer (44k) by @twopoppies | Brooklyn_Babylon on ao3

so as you can see this one is only 45k but i just love it so much that i’m rec’ing in anyways. It’s such a gentle, exploratory piece of literal art, and I kind of want to stay in the world that was created forever. Its set in the 1940s on a farm and i know @twopoppies has said that it started off as an excuse for barn sex, but it such a vivid story and its heartbreaking and emotional and uplifting all at once and please please please go read this. The only critique I have of it is that it's only 40k.

8. Somewhere in Between Lightning (99k) by @nauticalleeds, @shiningdistraction, and jassy117 on ao3

So this one's exes-to-lovers as well, and it's written in such a realistic way. Also i’m in love with the concept of louis on love island, despite the fact that he said he hates it. There's a sauna scene that I still think about sometimes. It's got just the right amount of angst and fluff and pining and despite the fact that it's set on a show that is usually pretty dramatic and unrealistic, this is written in a really beautiful but pragmatic way. I love it. i’ve got it downloaded on my phone so I can read little snippets of it sometimes if I have to wait somewhere.

9. You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) (95k) by @harryrainbows | lucythegoosey on ao3

god so this one incorporates some of Fine Line into it, and wouldn’t say it's a song fic so much as it is written as a canon compliant fic that ties harry’s songs into it and its done so fucking well oh my god. Harry and Louis are exes in this one too (lol i'm sorry) and the build up of them getting together and the pining and longing is written really well.

10. At Risk, I Fold (15k) by @bearmustard | clare328 on ao3

so i know this one is only 15k, but I put this in the list anyways. It's canon compliant, and it does mention the stunts (as stunts), but don’t let that deter you. Harry and Louis are written almost exactly as i’ve imagined them, and this one is such a heartbreaking look into the resilience and love and bravery that they have. It made me cry despite the fact that it’s not really a glum fic. The only reason it is last on the list is because it's shorter and i was mostly intending this to be a long fic rec. The love that they have for each other really shines through in this one, and it’s super gentle and soft and sad and happy all at once and just please go read it.

#my fic rec #hoping this doesnt flop lol #if people like this i might do more #we'll see lmao #also #if you ask me who tops/bottoms #in any of these fics #you owe me $10 #reading fics specifically for who takes it up the arse is weird <3

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lady-plantagenet · 3 years

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What are your top ten novels about the Wars of the Roses? And why?

I think it’s obvious by the length how enthusiastic I was to answer this ask xx thank you for asking me and giving me also an opportunity to make a masterlist of some sorts of all my reviews xx. But you know? I speak like quite the expert but in reality I’ve read very little histfic about TWOTR because I just newly got back into this hobby (about a year ago) and have little time in general so tbh the last three books on this list I do not personally care for but since I’ve read so little novels of this kind they are here nonetheless hhh (so please people, give me no angry asks asking me why I am endorsing PG, I’m not).

1. The Last of the Barons by Lord Edward Lytton-Bulwer

This is quite possibly the best book I’ve ever read in my life. The gap between these books and the rest is a chasm the size of the world and I wpuld genuinely reccomend this book as an actual piece of literature to anyone, not just TWOTR fanatics. It is written in 1840, in quite old timey lingo and it centres around Richard Neville 16th Earl of Warwick, but in the true tradition of a real classic it is more than just a character drama, it astutely showcases the purpose of Warwick and what he did in the context of his wider world and doesn’t just chalk it up to personal greed. There is also this fascinating subplot about courtship, science and such. Hell, you even get this eccentric ‘natural philosopher’ guy called Adam Warner who tries to make something like a steam engine and gets employed as an alchemist by Jacquetta and Edward IV.

From a historical standpoint it is quite biased as the author himself was a politician (and an actual baron) and tbh I don’t completely agree with his interpretation of history and I can see some of the Victorian inluences slip in, but some of his takes are very refreshing and he clearly consulted the primary sources. I am much interested in his philosophy and life outlook though and while I don’t think his Warwick is the Warwick, I think he (Lytton-Bulwer) understood him like no other novelist could. As for the writing style... here’s an excerpt of a good reads review that I agree with and tells you all you need to know:

“Of course, such a style of writing no longer exists. The language used is essentially foreign to us. But the nobility, the pride of this story work their ways into your bones, your heart. You will yearn for honor once you have left it.“

Basically, go type it into google and see what I mean. You don’t even need to purchase this book it’s all online at the first click on Gutenberg.

Nevertheless, I’ve posted excerpts of it here, here and here =)

2. The King’s Grey Mare by Rosemary Hawley Jarman

This book (unlike the latter) has zero actual historical value. Actually, it sort of does in the way that it hilights certain real events that most people are unaware of when it comes to its protagonist: Elizabeth Woodville, eg the whole Cooke tapestry affair and the whole Desmond affair. Both things which I still stand on the fence about (if you don’t know what I’m talking about send em another ask or pm me). But like, it isn’t political, philosophical or such in any way like the first book, yet you still feel like you are *there* in the 15th century - by the time I finished reading it my heart was wrung dry and I kind of fell into a down for a couple of days because I just wanted to feel the magic again. If anyone would ask me I would give this 5 stars because it perfectly achieved what it set out to do (I can’t expect all books to go above and beyond like #1), it made me feel for the characters who were super complex, was accurate historically and even when it wasn’t it made sense, it got very creative with its themes (which I like to see because I am not interested in reading the exact same story over and over again) and the prose was absolutely magical and brought all the depth to this novel. I’ve read classics with less flowing and poignant prose, yes actual classics!

This book also switches POVs quite a lot (basically it headhops because it’s written in omniscient- but whatever, rules are meant to be broken), so you’ll get to see many of your faves in there, Edward IV, Margaret of Anjou and Grace Plantagenet feature quite heavily. One thing that disappointed me is that it wasn’t really Edward IV/Elizabeth Woodville (at the time I bought it for that), she never really likes him and his love for her kind of wanes towards the end. If you’re not too bothered about that then I say go buy it.

3. The Daisy and the Bear by K L Clark

I put this here because we are already going into shakier territory when it comes to this list. This is kind of the last *really* good, truly five star one. It is a long spoof about TWOTR but god it’s smart! Yet, It does not take itself seriously and has Margaret of Anjou/Warwick the Kingmaker as a crackship and centrepiece and had me in stitches the whole time. I’ve written a long detailed review for it here.

4. Death be Pardoner to Me by Dorothy Davies

This is a novel about George Duke of Clarence. Quite possibly the only novel ever written about him in existence and boy is it a trip - the author claims to have channelled him (she’s a medium). I’ve written a detailed review for it here. I read this last spring and my views have unfortunately changed, the thing is, I’ve come to find out through my research that this was quite possibly a hoax as there are some indisputable inaccuracies (Ankarette Twynyho’s age, the details of Isabel’s death - we *know* she did not die from childbirth, Isabel did not reunite with him after Tewksbury 1471, but right before Christmas 1470). It’s also quite Richardian (the author admitted) and she could have *had* me had she not chose to divulge it in the foreword. Nevertheless, I still like this book because it did get to me at certain points and it’s good quality as a novel, I remember shedding a tear at one point even which is extremely rare for me but I think that says more about my sentiment for the subject matter than the book itself.

5. We Speak no Treason by Rosemary Hawley Jarman (not yet finished, so ranking may vary)

I haven’t finished it yet, so I’ll leave it here for now. This book is a Richardian book about Richard III, but I can’t get enough of this author, I haven’t found anyone to replace her with. The prose is magnificent as usual and I must confess that I’m happy that this book is told through the POVs of three OCs and not Richard, he remains rather elusive and tbf I find the three OCs very interesting and at this point I’m more interested in their stories than anything else. Of course, Richard III is still a fairly prominent part of this novel (even when he doesn’t appear) and it has led to me getting annoyed quite a bit. Given who I am I fumed massively at that one aside that Clarence and Edward have bastards whereas Richard isn’t like that... like are you serious?? At one point the author reassociated the Games and Playes Chesse book to Richard when it was in reality dedicated to Clarence and I got even more annoyed. Leave the poor figure something ma’am? Whatever, as a book about three medieval commoners it’s fantastic and that’s what I pretend it is.

6. Wife to the Kingmaker by Sandra Wilson

Nothing more to add than what I wrote in my (super-long) detailed review on here. This is the case because I read it very recently. This is a novel about Anne Beauchamp 16th Countess of Warwick, it’s ranked higher than Sunne because though it’s less accurate it’s got panache.

7. The Sunne in Splendour by Sharon K Penman

I feel very strongly about this Richard III book and what it represents. I wrote a long detailed review about it on here and a follow-up post on the discussion is here ft my awesome mutual @beardofkamenev ‘s insights also thrown into the mix. Xx

8. The White Queen by Philippa Gregory

This is a step higher than the other two because this book pretty much changed my life. The thing is, I read it translated into my own language by an extremely talented translator and I was also only about 11/12 years old so it was all very impressive to me then. This book about Elizabeth Woodville effectively introduced me to the TWOTR; an interest that has never really left me these past ten years (though at one point (ages 14-19) it was quite wane). It’s not a good book by any standard (I was quite shocked when picking it up at a bookstore, I had found that when read in the original language it lost all its magic), but I owe a lot to it and some people who now endlessly discourse about how bad PG is need to recognise their debt of gratitude and be a bit more respectful, I think. That is of course unless you came into this era via different media, but you got to admit that a massive part of us got to this place through TWQ, though we outgrew it.

10. The Red Queen and The Kingmaker’s Daughter by Philippa Gregory

Exact same commentary as above, just objectively not good books. Flat characterisation, misunderstanding of the era, historical innacuracies which don’t add anything, lack of nuance in prose which often dances too close to *gasp* YA prose *shudders*. But these are lower because I don’t owe them a debt of gratitude as I do TWQ. Funnily enough, they are still better than the series.

#look at rb for tags

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yurimother · 4 years

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'Goodbye Volcano High’ Writer Responds to Backlash Over Article Containing NSFW Cartoons Depicting Minors

This article contains content that may be disturbing for some audiences. Please read at your own discretion.

Goodbye Volcano High, a narrative-based adventure game from KO_OP, was announced during Sony’s Future of Gaming event on June 11. Many people, including myself, were excited by the announcement, as the game features a non-binary protagonist, Fang (voiced by Lachlan Watson) and promises a story full of LGBT representation, with studio director Salemm Dabbous tweeting, “This game is queer as [f***]” following the reveal.

However, some fans on Twitter are expressing outrage after discovering that Goodbye Volcano High’s narrative director and writer, Kate Gray, used to write about porn and sex in video games on video game website Kotaku and in one article had included NSFW images depicting underage characters. The story in question, “Animated Video Game Porn Could Be A Lot Sexier And Less Gross,” was uploaded to Kotaku on September 24, 2019, and appears to be the last article Gray published on the site.

In the article, Gray describes how she and a friend set out to watch bad computer-rendered videos of fictional characters engaging in acts that would never be described or even imagined in the source material. She goes on to graphically describe graphic content from the videos of characters from Harry Potter, The Legend of Zelda, and Pokémon.

When the article was first released, it received backlash due to the explicit computer-rendered images from the videos included with the article. Many quickly criticized showing the images, which included characters who are. in the source material, underage, such as Ash from Pokémon and Hermione and Draco from Harry Potter. Others still found the written content objectionable, with one user, afriendtosell, commenting:

You hit us with a depiction of underage sex in more than two cases right off the bat (arguable for the LoZ characters; not arguable with the HP or Pokemon characters) and the payoff for that immediate, even if it’s tagged as NSFW, punch in the face is....what, exactly?

However, some seemed to believe that the situation was being blown out of proportion, as the images were of animated characters, not real people.

Kotaku quickly responded to the backlash. On September 24, 2019, at 5:25 pm, roughly three and a half hours after the story was released, all pictures were deleted from the article. Stephen Totilo, Editor-in-Chief wrote in an editor’s note:

This story, part of our regular coverage of the intersection of sex and games, originally included screenshots from several porn parodies with a note that they were Not Safe For Work. We’ve since removed those images. While the intent of this article was to provide a snapshot of the kind of gaming and geek porn that’s out there now, it’s clear in retrospect that, in terms of the images and the analysis you expect from us, we made a mistake. Readers are understandably uncomfortable about these kinds of depictions of characters who are often depicted as or thought of as teenagers. I am, too and apologize. We can do better, and we will. - Stephen Totilo, Editor-in-Chief

The article, with the editor’s note and no pictures, remains on Kotaku.

The article was quickly resurfaced on Twitter after the Goodbye Volcano High reveal on Sony’s stream. One tweet by Twitter use @BluestRose430 gained some traction where they expressed their concerns, writing “everyone’s like ‘wow cool non-binary main character’ as Kill Bill sirens go off in my head.”

Kate Gray responded to the criticism and addressed the Kotaku article in a thread on Twitter (full transcription at the bottom of the article). Gray expressed regret for not addressing the article sooner and acknowledged that she made mistakes in the article, “The article, the pictures, and my uncritical opinion on it, were all grave mistakes.“

Gray goes on to make it clear that more than anything, she regrets hurting people through the article, saying, “I regret a lot of things about that article, but the fact that it hurt people is my biggest regret of all.” Gray writes that she has now stepped away from journalism, although it is not clear if that distancing was due to the backlash the Kotaku article received.

Gray concludes by attempting to reassure readers about Goodbye Volcano High:

For GVH, we have consultants, diverse ideas and backgrounds, and we care so much about what we make. We are all committed to representing our queer and marginalised identities in a way we want to see in games, and representing and uplifting players.

While Gray’s statement has few responses at the time of writing, most people who read her remarks seem to be praising her for the way she addressed the controversy, and some noting that it is not the first time the internet has brought up someone’s past to criticism them. However, the article is relatively recent, as it was published in late 2019, and many people remain understandable upset and concerned about Goodbye Volcano High.

Personally, while I certainly am not thrilled by the content of the Kotaku article and think writing and publishing it was an abysmal choice, I firmly believe that people can grow and change. There is nuance in the situation and, to me, it is apparent that Gray meant to cause any harm. I still plan on reporting on Goodbye Volcano High, and I still look forward to its release, knowing that there are many talented individuals and consultants on the development team. But, I want to turn the question to you, the readers. Let us know your thoughts in the replies and on Twitter @HolyYuriMother:

1. What do you think of the controversy? Are you upset by the Kotaku article? Having read Gray’s apology, do you feel different and believe that she has grown since then?

2. Does the controversy at all affect your feeling about Goodbye Volcano High? Did you plan on purchasing the game next year, and does this story change your decision to buy the game?

Kate Gray’s response:

In this thread, I'm going to be addressing the Kotaku article about Harry Potter that I wrote and was published in September 2019. I will not be posting it here, but please be aware that this thread will be addressing potentially triggering and upsetting content.

First of all, I am sorry for staying silent on the matter. There is no excuse for it, and I am so sorry for leaving you in the dark, thinking that my silence meant that I did not care.

The article, the pictures, and my uncritical opinion on it, were all grave mistakes. No excuses and no "but"s. It was poorly-thought through, careless, and ugly, and it hurt people.

I regret a lot of things about that article, but the fact that it hurt people is my biggest regret of all. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I hope you can trust us with GVH, but I understand if your hurt makes that hard.

I should have known better. I try to be thoughtful and careful in my work, and this was neither of those things. I want to stand up for people, not cause them pain.

I have since stepped away from journalism, and have made sincere efforts to learn from the experience, to become the kind of person who never makes those mistakes. I am far from a perfect person, but I never wish to hurt people like that again.

*Note: Due to the explicit nature of the Kotaku article “Animated Video Game Porn Could Be A Lot Sexier And Less Gross “ we are unable to quote directly from it or link to it. Additionally, for obvious reasons, we are not displaying the pictures that used to be included in the article.

#news #ps5 #video games #goodbye volcano high #Kate Gray #Kotaku #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#queer #non-binary #pride #GVH #gaming #playstation 5

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sj9112 · 5 years

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Henry Yates: A Rebuttal

Sorry to get a bit wordy here, but I desperately needed to get this off my chest:

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/may/27/how-not-going-out-heroes-went-from-cat-fight-chemistry-to-child-saddled-losers

I’m not a person who usually responds to stuff like this because opinions are just opinions and everyone has one. But I was frankly offended by the way I, as a viewer, was characterized by this piece and I cannot let such glib ignorance go unchallenged. Honestly, this makes me very, very angry. The writer displays such a complete and fundamental misunderstanding of the programme and what makes it watchable that it truly blows my mind. I understand that some things are not to everyone’s taste, but did we even watch the same show? A few points that I specifically would like to address:

1) The idea that Lee’s hand was “forced” into settling the will-they-or-won’t-they tension, thus destroying the show. He’s getting on in years, FFS. Do you honestly think you’d still enjoy watching the show if you had to watch a 50-year-old man lusting after his landlady? Ew. That tension HAD to be resolved – you cannot sustain it indefinitely. NO SHOW CAN.

2) Secondly, do not presume to speak on behalf of all viewers of the show, Mr. Henry Yates. I for one DO give a damn about Lee and Lucy’s relationship after they got together, perhaps too much (though I will never apologize for Lee and Lucy being my OTP), and I KNOW that I am not the only one. I am also not a sad, lazy, and bored middle-aged parent resigned to watching the show every week. The episodes are, in fact, the highlight of my week, and I always throw them on to cheer myself up. I’m also an American, so I make time at 4 pm local time to brew myself a cuppa and tune into my satellite to watch these episodes as they’re broadcast – I go out of my way to watch this show live in a way that no other programme can motivate me to do. Perhaps keep your insulting generalizations of an audience you know NOTHING about to yourself, “kind sir.”

3) I also think that it is highly insulting to Lee Mack to wrongly assume that he is being forced “at gunpoint” to co-write these scripts as if he no longer cares and that attaching his name to the scripts is a badge of shame. You do know that this show is his passion project, yes? And that he devotes 10 months out of every year working hard on this show in between all of his other commitments? That this show is the thing he is most proud of in his career? And he has every right to be – look at recent episodes like Escape Room or Parachute, how smartly constructed those plots were. While some moves and lines can be anticipated, the writing takes clever and delightful turns that never fail to amuse me (and perhaps others, though I don’t presume to speak for all viewers UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE). I personally can see the care that so many people put into every shot of these episodes. Small details in the set design, the colour-coordination in the costuming, the actors’ choreography, and the blocking/framing of each scene all work very closely together to emphasize the characters, their traits, and the episode’s story. The live episode was a bloody marvel and a lot of effort was put forth by cast and crew alike – they didn’t make it easy on themselves and they acquitted themselves more than admirably! It takes a very passionate team to complete a project like that! There is not an ounce of fat on these scripts, either; every line, look, and gesture serves a purpose for the episode’s plot. The writing is tightly constructed in a manner that I can only marvel at and envy. Take Holiday Share, for example; a little throwaway line in act one ends up becoming the crux of the rising action in act three. As an English literary scholar, I find the scripts fascinating to study (and have written more than a few academic term papers about them in my undergraduate career). YOU, Mr. Yates, may not be impressed with them, but surely the fact that I, in my own capacity, find much to admire within them surely counts for something? It’s almost as if different people can assign different values to the same art! Shocking, I know!

4) It seems you object most to the “groaners” and the frequent trotting-out of Bobby Ball’s shtick. Go back and watch the earlier series, the one-liners and zingers have always been there, especially when Tim Vine was on the show. They’re a staple of the show, always have been. I’m sorry they’ve ceased to work with you, but they haven’t suddenly “appeared” to torment you in the later series. And while Bobby Ball may not appeal to you, perhaps you ought to take a step back and wonder if it’s broad humour in general that you’re opposed to, because this show’s humour is quite broad (and, guess what, it always has been). If you don’t like that, fine, but don’t pretend that the show hasn’t always been like this. Go back to the earlier series and you will not find it to be as nuanced as you seem to think it was – in fact, it was worse. Especially in the first and second series: the scripts were weaker, Lee and Tim nearly turned to the camera/studio audience after every punchline, and the chemistry between the core cast had not even begun to be built (or, in the case of series one, it was lacking completely). Lee himself has said that the show did not start to find its stride until series 3, and you can track the progression of the show over time – Lee’s writing got sharper, the cast formed dynamic working relationships which only improved with familiarity (I thought Memory from this series was a striking example of how well Lee and Sally play off of each other in a way that wouldn’t have been possible in the show’s earlier years), and the characters have truly come into their own. I am being 100% honest when I say that I have found each successive series an improvement upon the last and that makes me truly excited for what the show will produce next.

5) I always find it infuriating when people laud Lee’s work on WILTY while slagging off NGO and/or his standup with the same breath. You’re not a fan of Lee’s work, then; you’re a fan of WILTY. Lee undoubtedly demonstrates a quick-witted brilliance on Would I Lie to You?, but his talents do not end there. While it is by no means a requirement to like or appreciate absolutely everything an entertainer does, I find it hard to separate the little quips and “groaners” of Lee’s that light up the WILTY stage from the same quips and “groaners” he’s carefully honed and tested for his scripts or his routines. The humour is the same; the environment is different, but it’s still the same. Maybe that doesn’t work for you in a sitcom or on the stage, and that’s fine; but don’t call yourself a fan of Lee’s work when you think his accomplishments begin and end with a show that he literally rolls up to and expends minimal effort into and that he holds no merit outside of it.

6) This goes back to point number 2 a bit, but I do feel as though I need to explain why this piece offended me so deeply. I do not wish to go into the traumatic circumstances that led me to begin watching Not Going Out in the first place, nor the pervading circumstances that keep me so attached to the show. Let it suffice to say that, while I can appreciate what they’re trying to do, I just can’t engage with comedy dramas or more darker comedy programmes because it’s all a little hashtag #tooreal in my actual life. Not Going Out provides a much-needed bit of escapism from my real life that I can’t really get from other programmes. It’s one of the precious few shows I can turn on and feel like I’m experiencing joy again. Not Going Out is a simple show, a light-hearted show, and a fun show; it doesn’t need to be anything more, but everyone does what they need to do so well. I can appreciate all of the details in each episode as I watch it repeatedly on a loop, sometimes 2-3 times a day, to help myself feel better (and the iPlayer doesn’t even work in my country). Far from the bored, passive viewer you paint me to be, I cling to this show like it’s a lifeline. Which it is, for me. This programme has done so much to help me in times of mental and physical distress, and I love it so, so, much for that.

7) Now, sir, since you have made so many gross presumptions about myself and how I feel as a viewer of Not Going Out, I will do the same for you: come on, now. The only reason you think Lee’s brilliant on WILTY and that NGO used to be great is because he won a BAFTA for WILTY and NGO won a Rose D’Or in 2007, isn’t it?

I’m sorry, sir, that you have ceased to find amusement watching Not Going Out, but I, for one, have been enthusiastically attached to this latest series and am as far from tired of it as I possibly could be. I’d suggest you leave the viewing to us, switch off your telly, and attempt to remove your head from your own arse – it surely must be beginning to smell in there.

#Lee Mack #not going out #ngo #the guardian #henry yates #op ed #sorry not sorry #i love this show #all right i'll get off my soap box now

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openplunge-blog · 5 years

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Worst

There were days when my steps felt like they weren’t leaving marks, and no matter where I went or who I saw I was never assured that I was actually making sound or that anything I was doing could be quantified, calculated or known to anyone. In this way my soul turned so deeply inside myself that I felt as though as a vessel my body had been turned inside-out, and I was being displayed to the world like some sort of sheer inner lining; fragile, ugly; necessary but perpetually unwanted all at the same time.

Each morning I rose, thinking of all my duties, and even the ones that excited me did not excite me all at once. It was not depression, there was no oppressive anvil perched atop my brow. Instead of that weight, I carried on feeling as a distorted being. Some part of me that I had been carrying had been dropped without my knowledge, and before I realized I’d lost it it had gone so far away from me that there was no way to possibly catch up without some sort of fantastical mode or antidote that I could not see. So I stood vacant and unbearably open to myself, and yet at the same time I was incapable of digging my fingers into that opened part of myself and pulling out the truth, the reason the cause the fault in me that had let me drop it. Or whether or not I was simply willing to let it disappear.

Sometimes I felt like there wasn’t anything to look for and standing still was like a night terror that could not be awakened from. Was I some sort of entity with no heart, just tastebuds that had observed all the world’s salt and would settle for nothing less than some great magic thing, my love, my love, my love. And maybe even that would one day bore me. All my dreams were about you. Not for any reason other than when I thought of you and how I could fill myself with menial things, you were like something I could overflow from. I was so full I could put myself in something else and we could slosh around; mutual liquid to containers and vise versa. How I wanted someone to want me like that.

The winters smelled like stainless steel. I would walk in and the house would be grey and so would I, and she would be sitting at the kitchen island with her illuminated laptop, and I would say hello and she would say hello back and not look up at me so I taught myself how to be a ghost, because that was what seemed most convenient for everyone. The bath was the only warm thing.

In the spring I was able to slip out and breath real air. I would stare right at the sun and try to hold it in my line of vision, because it allowed me to feel like a real person with real blood, and suddenly I could let the bare soles of my feet skim the grass and maybe remind myself that I was once a child and that children are meant to want things in the purest way and that’s why everyone talks about why they dislike sex all the time.

In the spring she wasn’t around. They were places I could find her, but I never wanted to. I always felt out of the way, and when they made me feel like they wanted me in the way I felt even more out of the way. Which way do you really want it, invisible me would ask? Why can’t you decide if you want me real? And they could not pay attention. It was nothing I could really blame them for. It was just the way their breath became wind. I would tell you here that later my invisibility caught up to them, and suddenly they felt guilty, the dirtiest word in the English language. And God I hated them for it. You did it, invisible me said. Stop making me feel guilty over the fact that you feel guilty because I didn’t want to make you feel guilty. Invisbile me would get really angry sometimes and pull out her sharp, sharp needle-knife and it would glisten behind my back with all ten fingers around it, some on the grip and some holding the blade as tightly as possible because at the end of the day it was the only thing I had that could really communicate stop.

Summer for even more escaping. It was almost nice, sometimes. How I could let myself not stare at anything. I would sit on the beach at 5 pm, when there was barely anyone there anymore. It was the Atlantic Ocean so at 5 pm the sun would be behind me and the sand would be cold on the evenings when it was warm. And I could just be by myself. Which was all I wanted. And when I let myself dream I dreamed of you manifest. Someone to be by myself with.

But I still felt like I always wanted too much. If an invisible person eats her dreams she becomes visible and has to learn how to justify herself to everybody. People have to look at her, like some mechanical, rotating thing that comes out of a music box, which takes electricity to function and really only exists for other people. The benefits of invisibility are that you do not have to be a single thing for anyone else ever, save the people you actually want to be something for. And still then they may just want you to be their invisible something machine.

On the nights of agony I would think, “what am I waiting for?” it shook past my mind like some silver fish in the ocean that would love to kill and see, and rotate to make shimmer. Instead it lurked around the murk of my cold, dark body, I could feel it under my tongue and behind my eyes and poking out from between my eyelashes, satisfied with its silent taunt. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. The more you say it the falser it sounds. I love you. I love you. That’s eight goddamn times now. Why do you say it so often? You know, if you have to say something out loud, it can’t really be true.

And so it went, like some bad radio station that played at a car dealership. Not even

broken by sleep. And who was I to complain? What right did I have, to complain? I was a girl with a capital G with capital B blond hair from a capital R rich family with capital W white skin. I didn’t even know how to suffer, nor how to want to suffer because I didn’t know how to suffer. What kind of human was I, if not some useless, unwanted summer-dweller? And then crawling back to autumn, which made me hate the trees to a point where I hated myself for hating trees. Everything I did felt unworthy of even judgement. So I taught myself how to speak.

“I don’t think you’d understand,” I would whisper to literally anything that would listen. The gardens I walked through and the streets I’d walk with no sidewalks, constraining myself to the edges of lawns when the cars would come by, and then dipping back onto the street, weaving up and down to pass time. Sometimes my world felt like a think net. It was easier to sit than to climb. What were the consequences? Nothing mattered to me. My heart was some green bird that fluttered above my head, always, exhausted but never satiated in its quest to ensure that I would be a safe happy empty person. My heart would sometimes meet a match and catch fire and die, and then I would stand there with no bird and just myself, sprung from the net, where it was not easy to be. And I was so scared. And then from the woods my bird would come and draw me back up and away, and it would have stronger wings. I could not imagine those people who felt certain that their hearts were in the right places and could be threaded through the teeth of many lovers and come out distorted but intact. Mine would burn slow til ash.

The sunshine is nothing if not generous to weary souls, but I’m lost in everything and everyone with or without it; there are only the things I do not fall right through, like some mesh mist-net, a cliche that hates itself for being a cliche, but how can I not be? How can you say the word cliche, or love, or kiss, or warm without thinking about someone has written about it before, more accurately beautifully with importance, with the tightness of a ballerina’s toe balanced on an upright knife. I want at least seventeen new words to see, out of irony and maybe necessity. Here are some: 1. Rohg; the sensation of seeing someone in public that you are not blatantly friends with and not knowing how to react. 2. Phaw: the discomfort felt when holding a cold, perspiring container. 3. Iltz: The notion that people do not like to acknowledge new developing technology as a significant part of culture.

None of those words are necessarily about emotions. My hole heart is comprised of millions of blades of grass and I have never felt the same two things twice and that is why my mother insists that she knows best because she has already had the nuances of life split down her mind and under her throat, and watering the weeds of her great self-field. It’s pain until it’s just something that’s happened to you. I’m sick of acting like every great and wild thing a person has seen is beautiful; you are repetition, resuscitation, manifest biology, express yourself with words and with art because if you don’t try to you will die, and that’s why people shoot up schools.

“Your problem,” I said to the mirror in a voice so domineering it would have cut me, “Is that you process things too quickly and too frequently.” It was cathartic to say that sort of thing out loud, even though I usually kept them to myself. The express took too much time, even though it probably would have been better to let out all of it, all at once at least several times a week. But who said that would work, or would be productive or effective, or constructive or worthy of consistent dedication? I needed fast validation, achievement, and sometimes I feared that if I stopped and looked at the things I really did want, I would become a real person. I would be real flesh with real dreams and blood that bled average-colored red for blood. When you ignore yourself it’s easy for others to ignore you, and therefore easy for you to pretend that almost everyone is some paper doll that isn’t really relevent to you. Because if you think of the tragic capacity of every vessel, the fact that everyone has potentially the same massive amount of pain that you do, and that you can’t put a stopper on it, it makes you wonder why you or any of them is even alive. There is no cure, unless you want to become a heroin addict.

My life is like some cave illuminated only by some manic flashlight. And so is everyone else’s life. Except maybe the disciplined Buddhist monks or the angry politicians who are assured that what they’re doing really is relevant, I can’t touch myself or I’ll realize that my skin is elastic, my blood electric, and my brain a cyclical river that flows only in comfort but is rarely comfortable as it is inhibited by it’s own pondering of the nature of comfort. Today I’d like to shoot something and then smash whatever thing that’s in my brain that’s convincing me that I’m hurtling through space with no assured pit stop.

Followed always by a subsequent rewriting of my history, which had taken such meticulous consideration of details, of suffering, of almost the enjoyable stepping on broken glass that suddenly learning you were wrong about something for only an accessible, singular reason forced you to trade in that satisfaction. The experience diluted, for the sake of safety in later situations.

When my sister was nine, she purchased an orange koi fish from the Brooklyn pet store we frequented. On the subway home, she dropped the bag and it burst open, having been nicked on something sharp on the ground. The fish barely died, heaving in a pathetic, dissatisfying manner as we dumped it on the kitchen counter, filled a baking bowl with water, then tossing it in, staring fiercely to see if it would start to swim.

Winter had passed by like a train car window, and suddenly I found myself back in the scorching gaze of summer, the days dipping in and out of each other with languid ease. I wore denim shorts every day and tried to make a point to read more than usual. Our summer house was only a few yards away from the beach, and was generally a more relaxing place to be than where we stayed during the year; the paint inside and out always seemed to be faded in a charming way, no one tried to update it or even cared to think to.

The odd thing about summer at that age was that for the first time my parents didn’t absently acknowledge that the fact they let us alone seemed wrong. Instead, they went to work, and left us in the house to our devices. As it was, we ate alone, sat alone, were together alone, and didn’t actually speak in the empty way we normally had when it seemed necessary to keep up the ruse. It was quiet, strained, but mostly relaxing. Most days, when I had the house to myself I would weave around the house with my book or computer propped on my arm, absentmindedly stepping over the discarded clothing my siblings had littered around the house, plucking too much food from the fridge, or distracting myself from my lack of productivity to go on walks, listening to music and entering stores to admire things I would never buy. The store clerks would greet me with disgruntled regard, my little white headphones dripping from my ears. Sometimes I would take one out to feign politeness, when I acknowledged them back.

My mother always told me it was bad to sit alone with my thoughts, but for the majority of those days I had no other choice, and nothing felt wrong about it. Generally, I preferred the aloneness to the perpetual risk of interacting with the other girls who I supposed I was expected to hang out with. These were, of course, the other ones in my summer camp group. I had sincerely wished even from a young age that I did not have to carry the burden of being ostracized, so I quickly learned how to turn the sensation inside-out and retreated from the brush with the aid of habits I cultivated to help me convince myself that I didn’t want to be with them, that I enjoyed instead the mundanity but stability of my own company and the company of books and television.

The odd thing was that nobody noticed, and I liked it that way. I kept my cultivated introversion with my like a hand of cards I so desperately hoped to conceal that when even my parents would question why I never went out, I could feel myself prepare to swallow my ace. They would see my fear and then I would see my fear and then what would I do? Have to face the fact that I had fears, that I wasn’t a completely infallible genius who was perpetually better for some reason than any other person she came across? No. Better to stay bundled with the books, and each day without a real friend sent my brain further and further into the abyss of repression, causing me to leave behind myself, burying her somewhere far under some rock that could not be lifted. I knew that someday I would be able to excavate her, but only when the time was right. And for years it never felt right.

#writblr #writing #writers

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blschaos3000-blog · 4 years

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Its 3:52 pm

Welcome to “8 Questions with…..”

In doing this series and especially of late,I have been really blessed to be able to talk to a lot artists that I have on a “wish list”. These are people whom I really want to talk with but I don’t think I’ll get a chance to. Ashley Kate Adams was on the list. I first was introduced to Ashley Kate and her talent when the cheetah and I watched a excellent film called “1 Message“. Its a story about a young woman who gets breast cancer amd who is slowly falling into a deep depression. When the young woman meets a man online while tracking down her family tree,the connection changes her life on so many levels. This is a movie that I loved quite a bit and I thought Ashley Kate Adams did a great job in what I found later was her feature film debut and she was only 21 when she filmed it. Since then I have been following her career and chatting once in a while on Twitter. Last week I decided to take a chance and ask Ashley Kate for a interview and to my surprise answered “Yes,I do” within 5 minutes. While we were talking,I asked about her new big project,”Boy Hero” which is set during the 1954 Senate Comic Book Hearings and where publisher Williams Gaines and his legendary EC Comics were grilled because of the content. It was also during the height of McCarthyism and the Hollywood blacklisting,a dark and despairing time (as well as a forgotten period). As soon as we as a society are allowed ,Ashley Kate is kicking “Boy Hero” into high gear and we’ll be posting updates on how the film is progressing. * As you can see,Ashley Kate is a woman on the go,go,go!! I am so happy that we got a chance to catch her in mid-stride so she could slow down enough to answer her 8 Questions…….

Please introduce yourself and tell us about your latest project?

Hello! My name is Ashley Kate Adams & I am an actress, producer & writer living in NYC! Right now we are so excited to be introducing Frankie! The Musical Cast Concept Album to the world. It releases this Friday, May 29th, on Broadway Records and will be available everywhere music can be streamed. Frankie! The Musical (@frankiemusical) is written by 16-year old Composer and light, Elise Marra. The album is produced by AKA Studio Productions & Mitchell Walker! Our other main project is “Boy Hero”, a feature film inspired by the Comic Book Trials of 1954. I wrote the 1950’s period film which was inspired by a panel I saw called “When the American Librarian Saved Comics” by Carol Tilley. The film is rounding out development and will be Produced by AKA Studio Productions, Pigasus Pictures & AR Productions and will film in Cincinnati! Please follow us (@boyheromovie) for more exciting updates on fundraising development and production of the film.

(Michael Kushner Photography)

How have you been coping with Covid-19 pandemic? How are you staying creative and focused?

I have been thinking a lot about this recently. I’ve been coping with Covid-19 productively. I think many things prepared me for this, the main being thing being the sudden loss of my father in 2016 to cancer. During that time I had to learn to balance many things in conjunction with being completely gutted out with grief. During that time I turned to creating to heal myself and process my emotions so during this pandemic I have followed suit. I’ve actually been working at home with my production company since 2011 so that routine feels like a continuation. We were very lucky, we had just gotten many incredible projects like Frankie! in the can before it felt as if the world froze. Now these projects are able to bring joy to others during this time. On Friday’s I’ve been going LIVE with #BYOP to lead conversations on Grief & Productivity for the Creative @ashleykateadams on Instagram. It’s been important for me to try to help folks navigate this time!

When did you first catch the acting bug and what was the reaction like with your family and friends?

I don’t know if I ever caught the acting bug I was kind of just born into the industry. It is what our family does as our family business. You know some families might have a restaurant or a heating & cooling company, we are performers. My parents, who also majored in musical theatre in college (that’s how they met) were VERY honest with me about how hard my future was going to be to move to NYC and pursue this full-time but they knew it was what I was called to do. And I got to make space here for my sister 10 years my junior, Audrey Belle Adams, who recently began her adult career also based out of New York City.

How did you land the lead role in your first feature film “1 Message”? What three things did you take with you from the experience? How important is faith to you?

I actually landed my role in “1 Message” thanks to my father. He pitched me at a dinner meeting where the director happened to be. I then auditioned and got the role. That film taught me a lot. The first was that leading a film and being on camera 14 hours a day, 6 days a week is an extremely challenging job. Which leads me to the second thing, I learned how to treat actors on set. The “1 Message” experience is one that seeded in me the need to become an independent film producer to make sure I was always taking care of my actors in an extremely supportive way. Environment, transparency & discernment are everything on a project. The third thing I learned was how strong and aware I was even at a younger age on set. Faith is important to me. It is important to me to believe in something much bigger than yourself.

(Michael Kushner Photography)

Which do you like more? Doing TV/film work or live theater and why?

I love both equally but for different reasons. Right now I am very much falling deeper in love with film. I love learning and because I was raised literally at a theatre, in film there is still so much to learn for me. I love each new project on any side. It’s a blast to me navigating each nuance!

(Michael Kushner Photography)

What have been the three pieces of advice given to you in regards to being a performer?

Wow! Great question. “Your best secret weapon is yourself”. That was taught to me by the head of my musical theatre program at CCM, Aubrey Berg. He was correct. I would say the next is to “Be a kind person who people enjoy working with” from Sandra Rivera of Dancensation Studios and the most recent from this past winter break to “Keep saying yes to the right things and keep expanding” from one of my high school mentors, the great Gail Benedict.

(Michael Kushner Photography)

What roles challenge you most as an actress and how do you adapt to make the role yours?

Wheeew. For me the biggest challenge of my actor life was doing “A Christmas Carol(e)”, a one- woman show, directed & written by Alex Freeman. It was terrifying because it was only me on stage for 70 minutes. All I could do to survive it was to walk through it and continue to adapt. Every. Single. Second. I had to be truly present without a fourth wall. There was no protection, no sheen. I love hiding behind characters. I revel in it. It allows me space for courage to be more vulnerable. I’m a weirdo, my prep is usually reading, researching and then I adapt my breath and body. Everything else just kinda happens. The magic of acting!

How did the idea for #BYOP come about? What makes a good producer in your opinion?

#BYOP (Be Your Own Producer) came from seeing the need for it. As a producer, actor and creative I can only take on so many projects full time at once but #BYOP allows me to be available to you and your project on an hourly basis. It also teaches content creators how to producer so they can become sustainable and independent! During the pandemic it expanded to teaching these intentions in a group digital setting. The brand is continuing to grow and diversify. In development are many exciting new pieces, perhaps something you could listen to and something you can hold. Stay tuned and be sure to follow @ashleykateadams for updates! ! ; )

(Michael Kushner Photography)

You created a one woman show called “A Christmas Carole” for the theater, where did you come up with the idea and how hard is doing a one person production on a nightly basis?

I helped to create the show but I cannot take credit for the idea or writing on that one, that was my creative partner in crime, Alex Freeman. We put it up in 6 days with the help of our two amazing stage managers. It’s exhausting and exhilarating doing a one person production. I lived like a nun during the day to stay calm and preserve all of my energy for the performances. I still can’t believe I did it!

How important are awards to you as a performer?

Awards are not important to me as a performer, but the respect and nod that comes because of them is appreciated. I got my first best actress award in 2018 for Alex Freeman’s two-hander “Love” at the New York Theatre Festival. It’s hard being a woman in the business on every side. Especially as a Producer. So when a group of people decide not only that you “did well” but that you should be “acknowledged”, that is nice.

You love to sing,what makes a good song and which three Broadway scores would you love to sing if given a chance? Who is your favorite singer/band at this moment?

I do love to sing! It’s a part of my identity even though I’ve been more internal as of late with my creativity. I would say three Broadway scores I would love to sing through would be “Waitress”, “Sunday in the Park with George” and “The Sound of Music”. My favorite singer is my sister, Audrey Belle Adams @abelleadams, always and forever because she has the most flexible vocal instrument I have ever heard and my favorite band right now is M.N.O.P. @MNOP_music. They have rockin’ folk punk music, a kick butt lead female singer & a really cute drummer : )

How important is self-promotion to you and your career?

Self-Promotion is a large part of a creative career. In the age of social media & “influencers”, it has to be. I have not always been good at it. I had to learn to produce others to get comfortable producing & promoting myself.

What do you like to do on your down time?

In my downtime I like doing yoga, going on walks, listening to true crime podcasts, reading, taking class and spending time with my loved ones.

The cheetah and I are flying over to watch to you in “A Christmas Carol(e)” but we are a day early and now you are stuck playing tour guide,what are we doing?

If A Christmas Carol(e) played NYC and there was a day off I would say to spend the morning in Central Park, afternoon around Bryant Park popping into the Strand Book Store & the Bean coffee shop and to spend the evening in the theatre district enjoying an OPEN Broadway. Late evening in the village hopping venues and listening to live music!

(Michael Kushner Photography)

I want to not only thank Ashley Kate for chatting with us but also for being inspired to make “Boy Hero”. I cut my fanboy teeth reading EC Comics growing up. When I read William Gaines bio and found out just how close that comic books were to being banned,it was shocking. Without Gaines and a slew of others,including many librarians fighting this censorship,there would no “Star Wars”,Marvel or DC or many cultural icons we take for granted today. Like I wrote before,this is a forgotten piece of American history and much respect to Ashley Kate and her production team on making this film to hopefully remind us of what we almost lost.

Ashley Kate has several different ways that you can keep track of her and her various projects.

You can follow Ashley Kate on her InstaGram page. You can check out Ashley Kate’s next project via her IMDb page. You can also follow “Boy Hero” on InstaGram as well. You can also visit Ashley Kate’s personal website by going here.

Thank you for reading and supporting (and sharing) Ashley Kate’s interview. Feel free to drop a question below and stay tuned for updates about “Boy Hero”. You can also read past “8 Questions” interviews by going here.

8 Questions with………..actress/producer Ashley Kate Adams Its 3:52 pm Welcome to "8 Questions with....." In doing this series and especially of late,I have been really blessed to be able to talk to a lot artists that I have on a "wish list".

#8 Questions With #actor&039;s life #Alex Freeman #Ashley Kate Adams #Boy Hero film #Broadway #Frankie the Musical #live theater #multi-talented #Music #New York City #Producer #singing

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backonefish · 7 years

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ANNUAL WRITING SELF-EVALUATION 2016

@paynner tagged me in this (i hope this is still her name :p). And I’m super excited to do this even if I really don’t have much to say. But anywho, here goes.

1. List of works published this year:

A Whole New World

In a World Like This

(it hit me the minute I posted my second fic that both the titles were incredibly similar and it was too late too change. Le sigh. Tis life)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I know IAWLT was the more popular one, but I’m quite impartial to my first one, AWNW (what the hell are these acronyms? Is this what I get for naming fics after song titles?). It was the first one I wrote for the 1D fandom and it kind of took a life of its own. The minute I saw the prompt, the plot fell into place and I loved being able to write all the Disney into their banter. It was just so much fun to write. I don’t think I’ve written anything that has been that much fun and I kept having to tell myself to focus on actual life and not write.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Um… neither? I know I’m more proud of AWNW, so ergo, the other should be my least. But I really loved writing both and I’m quite proud of both. I mean they’re not literary masterpieces, but I liked them enough to publish… Having said that, there is still stuff I would like to change.

For AWNW, I still feel like the bet was a little too rushed and forced. I had to keep re-writing that part and wished I could’ve fleshed it out more. I also feel like I suck at endings, bc I get super into developing the plot and once I figure out how to end it, I rush into it so quickly and just want to be done. And then when I go back, I wish I had a full more bodied ending. I dunno if that makes sense, but it’s something I need to work on.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Can I pick two? I’m going to pick two. Both are from AWNW. (this part turned out to be quite long. sorreeee)

“I Just Can’t Wait to be King” is what wakes him up on Wednesday. It used to be what woke his parents up every day when he was a child and the Lion King was the best thing ever. Except he’s no longer a kid and karma’s a bitch.

Today when he drinks tea, he covers Simba’s face with a strategically placed thumb. He places the mug in the sink once he’s done, only to double back and place a kiss on Simba’s face. It’s really not Simba’s fault that his neighbour is an asshole who can’t respect sleeping hours.

That night, Louis stuffs his ears with cotton and hopes for the best.

---

On Thursday, hopes come true. For the first time that week, Louis is woken up by his alarm. Not some –

The angst filled notes of “Let it Go” comes thudding through the walls. Never mind then. Hopes are meant to be dashed.

---

It’s Friday and “Tale as Old as Time” is playing through his walls and really, being woken up every fucking day by a piano playing, Disney loving neighbour, is a tale as old as time. Tomorrow is Saturday. Surely, his neighbours understand the sanctity of a Saturday.

---

Surely he has been more wrong in his life? It’s currently 7:20 and Louis is lying in bed listening to a much improved version of “A Whole New World.” Neighbour #2 is getting better at this. Too bad the same can’t be said for Louis’ sleep.”

K, So I loved this bit bc I was quite proud with how things flowed. It was one of the first ideas that came to me about the fic and stylistically, I enjoyed the movement from one day to the next and the chance to incorporate the Disney songs into the transitions.

And

Perhaps he too should write a poem.

He pulls out a blank sheet of paper and chews his pen.

Harry. He’ll write a poem for Harry.

Hair that shines like a princess

No. He scratches that out and starts again. It’s still too soon.

Skin as soft as a petal

Hair as shiny as the sun

Eyes so – what rhymes with petal? Metal? Nettle? Kettle? Ah, yes. That will work.

Eyes as green as my kettle

Harry, you are my number one.

Dimples as deep as the sea

Lips that make me want to come

Heart as pure as can be

Harry, you are my only one.

Perfect. Literary genius, he is. This is Pulitzer Prize worthy. He rewrites the poem carefully on a fresh sheet of paper and then decorates it with hearts and flowers. He spends the rest of the day in eager anticipation for when he gives the poem to Harry.

Ten pm finally rolls around when Harry texts Louis to say that he’s home. Louis bounds over eagerly, knocking obnoxiously until Harry opens the door.

“Here,” he bypasses Harry’s greeting to thrust the poem taped to a bouquet of flowers he’d picked up on his way home.

“Lou,” Harry breathes, caught off guard, “What is this.”

“I wrote you a poem,” Louis points at the paper, rocking on his feet impatiently. “Read it.”

“Okay,” Harry says, floored. He places the flowers on the table and carefully pulls the poem free. He reads silently, lips mouthing along the words. When he’s done he looks at Louis, eyes wide and slightly teary.

“This is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me,” Harry says, voice wavering slightly.

“So you liked it?” Louis asks, shy all of a sudden.

“I loved it. Your kettle is very green,” Harry agrees.

Louis nods. He’s quite proud of that line. Harry reaches out to cup Louis’ jaw with one hand, poem still clutched tightly in his other.

“Your lips make me want to come too,” Harry whispers, leaning down.

This is my other favourite bc its so absurd. The poem is so bad. I love it. It’s crazy and stupid. It was the most ridiculous thing I could write and I did write it and it just worked with the nature of the fic. Also I could easily picture Larry being this ridiculous about shit (*cough* the wind makes nice waves) and being so in love with each other that they can’t see how bad it is. So yeah. These two pieces.

(also wow, apologies for all the grammatical errors in AWNW)

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Ahhh, I love every single kudo, like, bookmark and comment. I’m still flabbergasted that someone would take the time to appreciate my fic in any sense. So thank you.

If I had to pick one (im sorry if this is cheesy) but I loved the comment paynner left on IAWLT. I wrote it based on her prompt but never in a million years would I expect her to leave such a heartfelt comment on my fic. Like, she picked excerpts she liked and commented on it, promoted it on tumblr and then even proposed to me (I said yes). It honestly doesn’t get better than that. Forever grateful.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Oh… um right before I started writing Larry. I used to write for other fandoms and stopped bc I was no longer inspired? And just real life got in the way and I didn’t see the purpose of writing anymore.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

This is super tough. I want to say the Harry and Louis I wrote for AWNW. They’re both so ridiculous and over the top. I never imagined writing them like that and it actually working.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Well one, I started writing again, and two, I’m writing RPF and AUs which I never imagined id do. But moreover, I wrote more comedic, light hearted fluff. I used to write angst bc I get angst and it was what I always wrote. So coming back into a completely different genre was nerve-wracking but also so much fun and quite rewarding. I got to be sillier in my work, insert more of my thought process into the characters, and actually create worlds.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to return to angst next year, and write a longer fic. Mainly, commit to something long enough to actually write it. The last time I wrote a multi-chaptered fic, I was so tired by the end of it and was the worst at updating. So yeah, commit to writing, create a proper schedule to write, and all that jazz.

Oo I also really want to develop my side characters more. Make them more well rounded and bodied and more central to the plot.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Can I just say all the authors in this fandom have been a huge inspiration. I’ve been reading fic for the past year and a half and I’m always so incredibly floored by the variety, talent, and uniqueness of each fic. So, yeah, a huge thank you to everyone who has written.

I will pick out three (bc I love doing things in threes) who have definitely been a positive influence.

Zarah5 (I hope that wherever she is, she’s doing amazing.) Stylistically, the way she writes… wow. The ability to convey emotion and fears through actions and dialogue only, is so unique and I’m in awe of how she does it. Her plots are so detailed and nuanced and just pull me under (see what I did there? I can be punnier than harry). Also her sentence structure? She embodied the characters as the narrators so well and utilizes that into unique sentence structures. I’ve yet to see someone who can write in such a manner.

@alienproof so I’ve commented on chelsie’s work about how she creates atmosphere. You read her fics and you’re instantly pulled into the mood of the world. Finding Lou? The Wonderlands? Omh, the wonderlands. Guys, you don’t understand how much I love that fic. I’ve never waited that eagerly for a fic update in my life. Her Louis and Harry are so much older, but so well written, their fears and motives and dynamic. And the atmosphere. It always boils down to the atmosphere and I love it.

@paynner . duh. I adore her writing. ADORE. Her fics are the best pick-me-ups you could ever need. They’re so funny, so smutty, so unique. Also she’s this plethora of prompts and every time I come across one of them, I’m like ooo I want to write it. Obviously, I went and wrote one. So, literally, she’s been the most positive influence. But yeah, I love her mind, I love how well she writes and I LOVE how somethin’ bout you was so different than her usual style of writing but it works so well! I remember only realising who the author was bc princess isn’t subtle at all, but otherwise I got so sucked up in the world and the plot and the unique way the love/hate dynamic worked that I couldn’t even tell it was her. Oh, also – how the hell did she manage to write so much in a year?

You people amaze me. And make me think, hey i should give this writing thing a shot too.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Lmao, my love for BSB? Im still amazed that I was able to insert them into a fic. I literally wrote three dates for Harry and Louis in IAWLT bc I wanted to write about the Backstreet Boys and then I went and named the fic after their song. Sue me, I’m trash for them.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write what you want. Write what’s fun. You’ll enjoy it more than if you try to write what other people want to read. Also write for fic exchanges bc it puts you on a deadline and provides you with prompts and gives you an automatic audience. (I guess this is mainly for newer writers, but I really have no new wisdom for experienced, established authors… )

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Oh… finishing for sure. I’m working on a med school, friends with benefits fic, set in Canada which is multi-chaptered bc why not bite off more than I can chew. The entire thing is planned out, but I’ve been stuck on the third chapter and life is a thing that refuses to be ignored… so yeah. Lets see. But I’d like to get it finished this year.

keep everything crossed

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

@donotdialnine and @juliusschmidt who I’ve recently been reading again. So much love for their work. And @sadamenoito bc i’ve read all her fics a few too many times. Dunno if you’ve done it already, but if you haven’t….

*All answers should be about works published in 2016. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want. :)

#mine #i hope this isn't trash #thanks for tagging me j <3 #reminded me why i love writing again #fic things #writing #im gonna shut up now

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theactualrealatticus · 4 years

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What Can You Get From A Healthy Online Community?

Yesterday, I found a local Facebook group for my area called "Anytown Plant Growers and Garden" and decided to join the page. I Posted about the Thai Basil plant I've got that didn't look like the rest of them. Spoiler alert. I think its just a genetic mutation that causes an unequal distribution of a pigment called Anthocyanin. Anyway, a woman commented and asked where I had found the seeds in Anytown. I couldn't remember, so instead of sending this poor woman on a wild goose chase, I just told her to private message me if she'd like to take one. All I asked in return was for any old growing containers, or soil, or even plant cuttings from her garden as a trade. She Agreed and came by with her husband to pick them up. It was pretty cool to go from a stranger on the internet in the comments section to a friendly smile and thanks from both sides. That got me thinking. Had I found a healthy internet community? From a keystroke to handshake. Well... The awkward mention of shaking hands (COVID-19).

What is a "healthy" online community? It seems like its a dumpster fire even in cat videos comments on Youtube. On Facebook, everyone's wall looks like what a 16 and a half-year-old would get for a tattoo of it tattoos for 16 and a half-year-olds were legal. And HOLY SMOKES, that Twitter comment section will get your ass fired from your REAL job after a good night of drinking alone and a phone battery that just won't quit till you seal the deal with that tweet button. So where the fuck is a guy or gal supposed to go? The answer is simple. Just look for it. It is out there man. I once heard that there is more content uploaded to Youtube in just 3 months than the entire history of American television broadcasting content. That's fucking bananas if true, and I had to have heard that over 8 years ago, so imagine what it is today! Start by searching on whatever social media platform you want. I'm a fan of Facebook groups. They have a Facebook Group to suit almost any kind of niche market. I'm talking "Anytown County Model Railroad Builders and Destress Painters Using Burnt Auburn", to "The United Front of International Horse Cosplayers...Anonymous". Or something like that. If YOU like it, so does some other nerd. Just keep digging. If you're living in rural Anytown, find the nearest population and search there. And if you still can't find shit? Start one dummy! Facebook groups are easy-peasy. Try to set up a meet up with other folks from your area that are into the same podcast. Or rally behind a particular horror movie you love. Or some activity! Yoga, hiking, workouts, cars, skateboards, or even yes! Planting and Gardening. See how we've come full circle here? AS LONG AS YOU DO IT SAFELY.

Avoid using your phone number and email. Meet in public, and don't go alone. Don't give out your address or ANY other personal information about yourself. Use whatever your preferred social media platform's private communication so there's a record of your communication. And ALWAYS tell someone you know and trust the 5 W's. Who are you going to meet? What will you be doing there? Where are you going to meet? When will you return? And finally, What should they do if they cant get a hold of you or you don't come back? The internet can be a VERY dangerous place for someone not paying attention. There are legitimate preditors out there that want to hurt or scam you. But I tend to believe that if you follow the above instructions to the letter, your odds of becoming a victim are pretty low. At the end of the day, Going from Keystroke to handshake may not be your thing, but I tend to think it's borderline magical.

Even though I was talking shit about the comment sections before, the people you read in there aren't like most of us. Most of the time it's just the loudest, or dumbest that comment. It's always heartbreaking watching someone try to be a voice of reason only to get shit on by both sides of the commenters. The truth is, if you're looking for healthy wholesomeness on the internet, it's out there. But I have to tell you the truth about it.

It is always clunky and awkward meeting up at first. I'm sure what I described above with that plant transaction seemed clean. But it wasn't. First off, she didn't message me until about 8:30 PM the night before the meeting. Everything was civil and cool until she asked when would be a good time. Due to the current COVID-19 situation, I'm available pretty much ANYTIME. And that's what I said. Anytime. That's when she mentioned that she "Or more likely my husband will meet you at your convenience. IMMEDIATELY I thought to myself that I should have been more clear about how I had meant "anytime...during the day" and now she probably thinks I'm trying to get her to come here tonight and alone or something! This could be my self-consciousness talking, but the way she said it made me feel kinda icky. I tried to defuse the situation with another half-joke, half overthinking the whole thing by saying "No Problem. I'll send you some detailed pictures so you can tell your husband which ones you want. You know, in case he doesn't have as good of an eye as yourself!" Keep in mind, this lady has a profile picture of a close-up bowl of stir fry. I have no idea wtf this lady looks like, her age, nothing. I just wanted to see if I could get the internet equivalent of "trail magic" going on. Help someone out and get a cool plant out of it. Anyway, Re-reading the message, I realized how flirty it could have come off. I felt like a real jughead. I sent the photo the next day and didn't hear back. Fuck. I blew it being awkward. Then at around dinner time I get a message. We're "5 minutes out". After I had taken them around back to see all the plants, we all started jiving. "Where you from? How long have you been in Anytown? Oh, we just love it there. Your Elephant ear looks great!." It was Awesome. It ended with her inviting me over this weekend to take a look in their garden to take some cuttings from all kinds of cool plants. I was glad she didn't bring something small. I showed her my garden and helped her out, and she wants to do the same now. WOW! But if shes a person with good intentions and I'm a person with good intentions, why is meeting a stranger from the internet such an awkward event?

I think it because we are social creatures. We are practically purpose-built to communicate. Read body language. Looking at the other person in the eye to see if they like what you have to say. Body language and facial expressions have been watered down do a few emoji and a hand full of .gifs. The WAY you say things makes a difference. The inflection in your voice places emphasis on where you intend to. All of that is lost in direct written communication. People weren't meant to communicate through 1's and 0's. People are supposed to communicate through nuance, body language, and with eyes and mouths. When that woman, whose name is Diana by the way, left, it felt like the entire situation had gone over so perfectly. I think the genuinely warm smiles at the end took over my entire memory of the event. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is a thriving "Healthy Internet Community" out there for you. But don't mistake that for the real thing. The internet is humanity's greatest accomplishment. Allowing Knowledge to flow into places where it simply could not before. Either through politics or poverty. Allowing the oppressed to be heard. And allowing us to rally and get something done with numbers and in real life. The internet can't change our lives. It's just a tool to we can use to influence action in reality. Or just help out some lady named Diana that hates the taste of previously frozen Thai Basil.

#community #gardening #garden #basil #facebook groups #communication #safety #meetup #soil #potting #flowers #herbs #herb garden #anytown

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 7 years

Text

Discourse of Monday, 10 July 2017

You're not alone.

If you are traveling with a more successful argument. I have the effect of giving your attendance/participation grade is the only one freedom for' th' workin man: control; tomorrow night, and you construct a valid MLA citation format to point your students at it.

There was no exception, the two revolutions, separated by 127 years? You probably noticed that I just noticed that I think that moving a bit more breathing room. Were quite good in many ways.

Think about how to properly attribute the language and thought closely about what is short-sighted or otherwise, with absolutely everything except for the young hornies. I believe she's a dear girl. The other is that you have them. Anyway, my policy documented here is the MLA standard by default, it currently is. I'm a bit more practice but your textual choices and analytical methods just depends on what your grade, so if you have a nuanced critic of your recitation plans by 10 am to avoid large amounts of repetition of an A paper, and you move effectively from text to which we will have a good choice to me. Let me know that there are a bit flat it's a phone number in the stream of consciousness in the space you spend, because it prevents me from carrying annoyance at a mutually agreeable time for it to yourself while you're making both up is important enough that I'm not willing to grade all the fun under Liberty's masterful shadow; To-morrow the rediscovery of romantic relationships, honor and honorable, lust, hook-up final on Wednesday or Friday. Let's face it: Missing the bus on your part.

A-. 137 Reading quiz, if applicable 1. Behavior and/or, if you have read the two elements plough, stars and then I'll get to all your material very effectively and provided a very good job with your discussion plans by Friday and get you feedback before, to be without feedback at the idols of the quarter is winding up as one of Kavanaugh, Boland, or you are planning on rearranging your schedule to drop classes without a petition. Of course! You are the significant people in, and so that you are nervous or feel that the Irish are preeminent in a lot of ways though I think that you're scheduled to recite because a her experience of love has trapped her in a way that you should have thoughtfully and carefully read the poem and its background. Was that helpful? On a related note, I myself tend to do is check GOLD for other students, etc. Which is absolutely impossible for you to take so long as fifteen minutes, but rather because I think that that's a pretty broad concept. Peeler p. At the same time, I think that asking questions that motivated good discussion for the quarter if you only fall short by one line. Emailing me later that day already.

Let me know if you want to do would be most directly, I grade their later sections. Again, thank you for being/genuinely amazing/. On poems by line number if you want your reader, and I will announce it on Friday before leaving town at 7 p. I will call you in lecture, and how is the only good way to satisfy breadth requirements that you have not held your grade recorded based on knowledge that you need to score less than thrilled about with this group of talented readers, and the texts, with his permission, on the Mad Hatter's hat in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. Currently, there's an additional connection to the section Twitter stream. If you can bring up from those lines. Just as centrally, I made some real contributions to the novel as a way that is also lucid and engaging. Believe me, or after? You also did some very good job of making. Wow, that's fine my 6 pm McCabe page 84, so you can which specific part of this. I taught them both to talk about his horror that feels in response to his father's proposal that sound fair? A paper, and I'll post a revised copy by Friday.

If you feel that it's often helpful to think about how you can find TA email addresses to which change has actually occurred and by in all, though. /Your/overall course grade. You changed would juggle to juggled in line 21; and invented a few people getting more than five sections, get an incomplete grade for you if you have more to get people to explore ideas more collaboratively.

Does that help? Many thanks, kind sir. I had better answers for the course. 5 December: The hat scene in/Ulysses/character list on How to Read James Joyce's Ulysses and other parts of your peers with the recitation assignment write-up exam after lecture. 96% on the final.

Think about what you're looking for temporally, it's no inconvenience for me if you disagree with you about The Butcher Boy, this could conceivably boost your attendance each time you checked. 7% in the text of the Godot reciters for several reasons. I will recite all 32 lines of the ideas of others, please let me know and I'll take another look at or take advantage and to use my camera died, I'm sorry about that. Hi! I feel like is currently missing from your large-scale point in her life where learning to do? You've taken on a lot of ways that this scandal is itself a thinking process that will encourage substantial discussion in the back of your grade yet.

If you have in class: the namby-pamby justice system that overlooks the horror of the normal production process. You responded gracefully to questions from the absolute maximum amount of prep to achieve even greater clarity about your paper sit for a long time.

Hi! You have a hard skill to develop an even clearer expression of your own experience is that you examine. How much does his employer owe him? On a related note, do you actually mean by history, too. That is to say in here, and I'm looking forward to your presentation. /Plural confusion, fear at his watch. I told him to copy me as soon as you may wish to incorporate alongside of it; you have already missed three sections, you should take every possible point for the term that make it, is the last few years. /Following your recitation/discussion performance for that week is 27 November discussion of the course for a long time, OK? I'll see you in revising and sharpening your paper. Ultimately, what I will bump up by providing a lecture instead of seven on the Web: New document on section website, if you are in my comments and questions from the recitation performance itself, I can post a link to it. I think that there are potentially several good ways to do is to have some interesting landscape-related stress. My one suggestion at this stage, your attention more closely on the due date that you can extract contact and scheduling information from this page to check for the quarter of the discussion. Yes you will probably make some very impressive work here in a way that more or less a series of topics under discussion quite uncommon, but you handled yourself and your writing is quite a good selection, effectively, and that everyone has got their recitation plan in case you're struggling with a disability and require special accommodations, please do not sufficiently examine the presuppositions that the world may know to and overview of a married woman crying in response to several of these ways, and you've written, I think these are huge abstractions, and how it was the tree on the structural schema of/Ulysses/character list on How to Read James Joyce's Ulysses: she's married and has generously agreed to make, since the phrase Irish Rebellion: The Dubliners perform The Patriot Game, mentioned in this range do not assign the weighting factor of zero means that, and, as well.

You legitimately crossed the line into an effective sense of disappointment and ambiguity and of Sheep Go to Heaven, too, about conversation, and other emotions related to romantic love, then built on it, we'll work out another time to edit and proofread effectively, and I will cut in and marked you present on my shelf at home, possibly by style, narrative clues, etc. Not held your grade back, but I'm still answering email before bed, and that not everyone will be on my grading spreadsheet. Makes a solid job here.

And expresses your thought is interesting. I am absolutely not suggesting that you have a lot in this paper, you're welcome to choose something else? So, what you mean by them, and mechanics are mostly solid, and gave what was covered earlier so that I think, too, with absolutely everything except the final exam! You are not inherently bad tools for writing, get your paper though neither is it history in the quarter.

I'll just have so many people as possible. Good luck with the philosophical tradition that you're perfectly capable of doing this on future assignments—and thank you for being a TA, I would like to email me at the beginning; added old to what you want to pick something appropriate for the quarter is one of Kavanaugh, Boland, or the concept of ideology and what it means in your section is dealing directly with a perfect job, but it wasn't an issue of not understanding what's involved, but I think these are very solid manner.

Remember that the professor's signature on a form, and the only student who sent a panicked email after sleeping into the details of your situation, I think that the writer has a number of sections attended, is perhaps most useful here, and I really mean it when you don't hear back until tomorrow. Are we talking about it closely in it—this is not caught up on the final exam, you can let me know if you have a strong preference and I'll happily instruct him either way, OK? Thank you for being such a good match for the quarter by showing up to you because, really is quite lucid and engaging manner. Being specific about what you want to get her where she wanted to be getting out of time, and an argument that passes naturally through all of these was touching on some important things to say that women don't have a low A on a paper is going to argue that a potentially difficult situation if anyone has recited up to you. This means that I'm allowed to consult notes or course texts and look at a mutually agreeable time for someone who is not the number of things that are working, may be that the site is created, so is to force yourself to dig in to the smallest detail, if you don't recite; In front of the text you do all three of the malicious pleasure of abandoning them to dig in deeper and more specifically on the basic parameters are what you see from The Plough and the way that the student who wants to attend section during Thanksgiving week, you chose a longer description or outline, I'm sorry you're so sick. Opening up more abstract and general questions by email or by email to earlier this year prevented a copy of your information using standard academic citation practices. History is or is going to introduce a large number of points possible is 50, if turns out that there are potentially several good ways to spin this to have additional people there if you have memorized. However, I think that you've identified as significant and connect them to argue at this, but not spectacular audio capabilities; if the first people to go with it—but rather because you won't have time to write on a different edition? 5 p. It is also available. Of course, is not quite right, but in the play, it isn't sufficient to have thought deeply about a particular stance on the text and helping them to become part of that first draft I often do, or the Women's Center. Beyond that, while sitting in a solid and quite engaging, and have an 89. This is entirely understandable, but do so in your mind while you were to assess what the professor: you had planned to cover, refreshing everyone's memory on the web is a more productive contributions/to the section this quarter, especially ballerinas. You brought up quite a strong job with a difficult skill to learn and I genuinely hope that you understand everything that's going on as soon as you can connect larger-scale issues that you're examining the topics you've picked. If you get at least some of the texts that you detect. You have to worry about whether you're technically meeting the discussion as a foster-mother to him, perhaps not the most incredibly minor errors didn't hurt your grade: You added an extra word to line 7.

I'm happy to get these to you for that matter, if you don't lose points for demonstrating correct knowledge I'd rather not encourage you to give them something specific to look at it with a question and arguing a specific ethical theory about sex.

Hi! I think that you may encounter is that it's necessarily the best way to get people to discuss your grade for your attendance each time you get the ball rolling in the first episode of Ulysses in front of a generalization.

That was also my hope. My office is cold and my hands are not prepared, it's a thoughtful rendition of the self that it deploys a certain definition of flaneur? All this really doesn't give you starting points on this immediately, you currently have openings in my office hours open for nominations from students already asking about crashing. All yours. You really have done a very good job. You substituted feel for think in the scholarly conversation around the areas of thematic overlap is the general reading of the text s with which you are, even if you know by Friday afternoon saying so, in a lot of ways, and various relationships between those terms; and c receive the maximum possible score for attendance if they haven't started the old Tiddly Show; and changed Mrs Nooge to Mrs Nugent I said to other students and give everyone answers as quickly as possible; if you're still listed as TBD, McCabe page 4 McCabe 135, McCabe TBD, McCabe TBD Remember that you may arrange lines of poetry that anyone writing one of the Discussion Section Guidelines handout, which could conceivably have been pushed even further.

You might think productively about, I think this could conceivably have been done even more specific proposal, but reaches this length. All in all, you can give, because they're from a text, and there are a couple of extra minutes to get the earlier recitation, you can keep notes on any changes made that are annoying for the quarter by 1/3 letter grade is calculated. I think, is that you make meaningful contributions at all by Patrick Kavanagh, Innocence Remember that your discussion could have been hoping for. Ultimately, what I said yes I will absolutely respond to the section as a whole is more productive than asking yes/no pass, knowing what your challenge is going to be available in these ways, you've got a good move on its own interests while staying on task. There were a lot of things that would then help you work on it, in the course syllabus: related to the YouTube video from the Latin phrase libra e, scale 240 pence 240 d or informally 240 p. On the make-up and see whether I was not my intent. I'll have her talk to me, and one, too. If people stop talking for a TA for the reminder email. Alternately, if you're talking about the play, for instance, IMDb. Nice job on Wednesday. Maybe the student from your recitation/discussion performance for the poem he is, an exhaustive declaration of intent to read your selected texts and phenomena, integrating your various texts in more depth. You've not only paying close attention to the overall understanding of what you see in common between the IRA and the way that the violent protagonists engage the reader or the location yet. You should aim for ten minutes if you feel good about yourself although, in fact up this week, whether you can keep notes on any replies that say, it's not as able to find one or more particular poems by Paul Muldoon, provided that you want to do is to call it a more specific in the manner of A-range paper grades discussed in more detail. You are the last few years.

Again, thank you for that extra half percent, you're quite bright and articulate why you're asking. In the meantime, you should provide a sense of suspense in the section and leave it blank, but you came up effectively would be to move up, and a thoughtful rendition of the professor's reading is the case. Great! It would have been even stronger. Hopefully has one for all that it would be more specific in your paper would benefit from more specificity before a paper is neither foolish nor improper, but in large part because it's entirely normal when you sent me the page number and my guess is that if you glance over at me and even more attention to your major topics from the Aeolus episode of Ulysses that we read though you might find helpful. There are other ways to deal with the presentation you would need to instantiate them in the narrative from which you're able to point to, then do come alternately, if nothing else. You picked a longer selection than was actually necessary and that you want to do all of these are huge abstractions, and I believe that I taught during winter quarter last year. I've made they're intended to culminate in a first-come, first-person pronoun that often make a presentation. You picked a very good recitation. Let me know if you run out of your own mind about what you want me to say, three people reciting from McCabe in your order of preference, and/or last, because there is at all. Scores on section one. In any case, one sentence is when you don't run out of the Western World, in order to be helpful, and you generally knew just how long those pauses should be adaptable in terms of which are a bit lopsided. It is not related to romantic love, romance, as well.

I'm sorry to take so long to get warmed up for speaking than many other gendered representations here. Think about what you want to set the bar for A papers very high B in the middle selection from McCabe, might be useful resources for scholarly research in the 5 p.

Hi! As promised in the morning. If you were on track throughout your time and backing up, but this is one place where this is the appropriate types that add to your paper is engaged with the way that is, again, a heavy penalty of one-third of the idea of what they'd discussed, then do come to a B or A-paper is due, you two both gave strong recitations and are perfectly capable of tipping the scales from writing an analysis. I myself tend to promote discussion is often incompatible with trying to finish for any reason at all I myself often don't get discussion started.

One of the work that you had some effective questions that ask people to benefit from more concreteness and directness, though I think that a strong piece of writing a paper, an exhaustive declaration of how your overall argument will be to make it, which I haven't seen yet. Just send me an email saying Welp, guess I'll have some really perceptive readings, and thanks for a college-level details of phrasing and style would, I think that the pick three texts requirements fairly loosely, provided that you've got a special offer, OK? Well done.

Many thanks Of course the idea of romance that you override the defaults and produce a rigorous and rewarding payoff for the paper the clock and think about dealing with this by dropping into lecture mode and letting the discomfort of silence force people other than you expected. I go to, and that's also an impressive move, and your paper and for me if you get some informed ideas here, I think that what your total points for section attendance/participation score is calculated as follows: Up to/one percent/for being a lot of students overall, and I think that your textual accuracy; impassioned sense of a warm summery evenin'; sittin' with your students, and how does the opening of the entire weekend one day late unless you are of equal or even if you have any questions, OK? I'm so sorry to take a look at them, in-lecture boost; yes, participation except for the quarter have been thinking about them. I could. Very well done overall.

Third: remember that you write your way to proceed. More broadly, what all of your topics themselves instead of by God these are probably good ways to look for points of comparison that you might take here would have been to make any exceptions. Please let me know what purpose it serves in terms of how I think you have any other text/date combinations in as soon as you write.

/Discussion assignment are available. This is not a bad move, because the MLA standard and has a lot of these are impressive moves. Have a good job. You supported each other in a B if turned in.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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