#there are plenty of words to use that dont make us feel bad for existing

[fleurmiss]

ೃ⁀➷ one love, two mouths

- ,, ao’nung x fem reader

- ,, being bestfriends with aonung ever since you gained consciousness was pleasant, but comes with a side of flirting and realizations you want to be more than just friends, or bestfriends.

- ,, warnings - SUGGESTIVE! adults watch out this is a teenager ur reading abt. minors pls be careful if u dont like making out!! ao’nung is a btch but not to u, tanhì is na’vi for “star, bioluminescent freckle”, simp ao’nung yasss thats like all my characters lol gunna ignore that!!

ps : tanhì is not readers name lol, just a nickname that ao’nung gave her!!!

-‘๑’- sweater weather - the neighborhood

Ao’nung was mean, you’ve seen how quick he is to bite back and claw at any opportunity that gives him a moment of glory against his rivals, plenty of times.

Ao’nung is mean to everyone, everyone but you, and his family, and maybe Roxto.

Excluding those people, ao’nung has never tried to purposefully hurt your feelings, maybe in a moment of childish banter, he has said mean things that are fleeting, they go away as quickly as they come because he sees the look on your face, and says sorry with a heavy heart.

Some days he is not as apologetic, and delays his apologies until a day or two, you walk away with hurt, anger, and hesitation but he always comes to u, can’t bare being away from you, his girl.

You are sitting on the sand, knees up to your chest as you gaze upon the sea, muscles sore from swimming all day. You almost fall asleep as the peaceful sound of the waves lulls you but alas, your one and only makes his presence known with his loud greeting.

“My tanhì, you look a little lonely!” ao’nung chuckles and sits down beside you, right beside you. No literally, he’s so close that your arm and leg are touching his. Why’s he so close? There’s literally so much space? You’ve stopped questioning it, he’s been touchy with you since forever.

He ruffles the top of your head affectionately, the little smile on his face tells you he’s in a good mood. “hi ao’nung” you say softly and give him a sweet smile, god he almost just melted at the spot, “you seem happy today”

“i am” he replies shortly and you lay your head on his shoulder, letting out a satisfied sigh at finally seeing your favorite person.

his hand finds it’s way to your leg and he gives you a prompt squeeze on your thigh, affection came as naturally as breathing to him when it was with you.

Your eyes roam around the sea as you look at the people smiling with their ilu’s and splashing around in the water, you catch a glimpse of a group of 4 girls as you shudder with the piercing look they give you. You recognize those girls as Tsireya’s friends, remembering her telling you about her dislike for a lot of their decisions. She told you to avoid them, they’re no good.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion when you see the said girls make their way to you and ao’nung, probably only having matters that deal with ao’nung, you’re pretty sure they’ll ignore your whole existence if anything.

You being this close to The Olo’Eyktan’s only son ignites some sort of resentment in them, automatically making you their competition and viewing you as a threat.

“bruh not these chicks again” ao’nung mutters quietly in irritation and lets out a groan into your hair, hoping they’ll go away if he can’t see them. You giggle but your smile is gone as soon as the girls stop right in-front of your bestfriend. “Ao’nung!! We we’re gonna go take a swim with our ilu’s, I think you should join us! Im sure sitting here watching the ocean isn’t that interesting” the girl’s giggle thinking Ao’nung will get up and follow them without a word.

For a second you believed so too, what you were doing wasn’t that fun, but you didn’t want fun, you wanted calm.

“fuck no” you hear pure distaste in ao’nung’s voice, it makes you cringe, the second hand embarrassment of straight rejection in the face. You smile, he’s really showing no interest in these girls, you almost feel bad, but whats it to you?

“oh- well- you can- you can always come join us later or whatever, whenever y/n lets you go” you’re a bit offended, you aren’t holding ao’nung back from anything, especially these girls, any choice he makes is solely his decision.

“nah im good i prefer y/n anyways”

“whatever” the girls huff and puff and stomp off the space you guys we’re currently sitting at

“bit mean, don’t u think”

“i don’t care” you smile at his quick response

“i think a lot of people dislike our friendship ao’nung, you’re the next Olo’Eyktan and they think i’m competition. They can’t let me ruin their chances of becoming Tsahik.”

“tanhì, what are you even saying?”

“i just.. what i mean is.. you’re almost ready to find a mate, and you must choose wisely, as your choice will be the next Tsahik for our clan, she must work with you as one, and i feel like i’m holding you back from finding a good mate”

Ao’nung pays attention to you, listening to your worries with furrowed brows, he’s so good to you, always. It makes your heart squeeze when you think of him being this affectionate with any other girl, you’re selfish, you want him to yourself.

As much as this hurts, you will be open with him, but you will not open your heart to him as of now. You sigh, he grabs your hand and his thumb rubs soothing circles, telling you to continue.

“i think.. i think re’yal is a beautiful girl, her parents are talented and she takes after them-“ you are cut off.

“i couldn’t care less for re’yal” you tilt your head in confusion

“na’yi is a good healer”

“she is a good healer.”

Ah. It’s Na’yi that he’s chosen then. You look up at him, unable to stop your head from moving. He smiles. Ouch.

“i have the stupidest girl sitting in front of me right now” you hit him gently in the chest, he catches your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours.

Woah. You’ve held hands multiple times but not this way. It feels different. You’re almost about to throw up.

Your eyes quickly drop down to his lips, god, you pray to Ewya that he doesn’t notice.

He does notice, and he thinks you’re so cute he could make-out with you right now.

“she’s so stupid but she’s also the prettiest, she’s really cute too, i think she’d make a great tsahik” you’re embarrassed now, what does this mean? why’s he such a jerk?

“i don’t think Na’yi wo-“

“tanhì, i don’t care about Na’yi, i do not want her.”

“Ao’nung.. allow me to help you, you cannot delay this anymore”

“y/n you just don’t get the hint do you?”

“what?”

Ao’nung groans frustrated, he looks around to see if anyone is watching, what he’s about to do right now might cause issues, he can’t find himself to care any longer though.

Ao’nung cranes his head enough so his lips are an inch away from yours, he looks at you with lidded eyes and you’re already looking at him

“let me kiss you” he asks and you don’t wait, you nod and he smashes his soft lips against yours, desperately. You’ve been wanting to do this, been wanting to kiss your bestfriend.

He grabs the back of your neck to deepen the kiss, damn, he’s a good kisser. Not that you’ve kissed anyone else before, but he’s making you feel really good.

It’s fast, and you both are desperate, impatient, and incredibly in love. He grabs your waist to pull you closer and you whine into the kiss. Sweet. He’s never loved a sound more. His confession comes between kisses.

“y/n, i want you,” kiss. “and only you.” kiss.

you pull away and you’re breathing heavily, you look at ao’nung, pretty sure your eyes have hearts in them. “i-“ you don’t know what to say.

“I see you” you whisper, only meant for him to hear, with sincere eyes.

Ao’nung looks at you and his lips twitch into a small smile.

He goes into kiss you again and your hands find their way behind his neck, he pulls back and trails a few kisses from your jaw to your neck, you gasp softly when he finds your sensitive spot and sucks on it, sinking his teeth into your soft skin, you’re so sure this is gonna leave a bruise.

He kisses you again but this time openmouthed, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip to ask for permission, you open your mouth more to let him in. “i love you so much” he whimpers into your mouth and you realize you wanna get out of here. Your feel yourself getting embarrassed as you realize the 4 girls probably saw your full on makeout session.

“what’s wrong baby?”

“lets get out of here ao’nung” you plead, doe eyes looking up at your lover. God, you make him crazy.

He takes your hand and leads you to his marui pod, you guys pass the 4 girls on your way there and by the look they’re giving you, you know they saw it, maybe even enjoyed it a bit. (jk) The girl’s eyes travel down to your neck where your fresh hickey lies and they immediately turn their backs around, unable to watch your love bloom any longer.

You laugh loudly and that causes ao’nung to turn around, your hands still intertwined as you giggle, ao’nung gets the hint on what you’re laughing at and smirks as he watches you, amused.

“bit mean, don’t you think?” he mocks you and you slap his arm, he throws that arm over your shoulder as you guys walk , the sound of your laugh rings in ao’nungs ears and he swears he’ll never love someone like he loves you.

[wingzie]

Hi.

Your experience as a Jikookers is the same as the experience of Taekookers. Extreme shippers fighting and having meltdowns on the TL make a lot of people equate the unit name with these behaviors.

Sadly the first thought that came to my mind when Jimin mentioned JK is that tkk would make a scene about it. Instead of just feeling relief they are doing well, or just comfort we're getting news, I felt dread. And the worst is I was right.

I'm really struggling with the state of the fandom now, especially twitter fandom. People say you just have to curate your online experience and most sane armys are just taking a break from SNS and everything will get better once the guys start coming back from MS. I'm not this optimistic.

I've been thinking finding fellow ARMY irl could be better. But there's still a good chance to meet someone you would block straight away online.

I'm not a very social person. I used to come online to find people remisniscing, celebrating, sharing.. There's always been hating but now it feels like it's only hating (and comparing numbers). There was a clear shift from COVID on. It's not just solo endeavors and MS. You said it, how the way to handle things has changed.

I don't know how to fend off all the negativity any more than I know how to casually meet ARMY offline. I dream of an ARMY community manager, of a campaign about mental heal, abusive relationships (how many think they know better than the members what's good for them and think they are actually showing love and support when they are just being abusive), how to make the parasocial relationship a positive thing, etc.... A lot of these people who make ARMY spaces unbreathable actually need help.

Hi Anon! I'm sorry you feel this way. I feel like some Army experienced feelings of anger or betrayal since the Festa Dinner, which has made them unfairly lash out on the members. Some cannot cope that we lost an aspect of control, but this has always been the members decision and we have to accept that with respect. As I said in my other post, the heart of Army is massively the same. Just this morning I saw a Tweet about the Purple Ocean from Muster and it reminded me of the Flashlight project during PTD. There will ALWAYS be discourse online. That is the reason for it's existence. I am in other fandoms and they all suffer from the same issues since Covid and Elon. However, for every "bad" person or post, there are plenty of good ones out there. If you look for then. I mentioned to someone yesterday that it's like when people always leave awful reviews for a bad meal, but very rarely mention when they have a good meal. That's why I always try to find a balance. Both Jimin and Namjoon have told us over the years to not engage with negativity and I have always taken those words to heart. Things in online spaces have changed, but I guess I am more of a fighter and optimist. For each negative post I see, I spend more time posting/repositing posts that spread positivity or praise. I see no point in boosting some random February 2024 account sprewing hate. We have to be responsbile or our own spaces and I DO think things will improve once Jin returns. There's still that shared joy and excitement whenever a member posts or content comes out. It's just that the negative is less contained than it used to be. As for events offline. My first event was for a local screening of one of the concerts. I then attended a few events for members Birthday's. With the HYYH anniversay coming up, maybe you could look into seeing if there's any events for it? It's also Sope's Birthday soon and I plan to go to events for each of their Birthday's, so that could also be an option. However, if you dont' feel comfortable going in person, then that is perfectly acceptable. I'm sure there will be no judgement! We all have our own ways. For example, I always buy a mini cake for each members' Birthday haha. Though I had some negative experiences offline, there have been some really good ones. That's just how things are and then you can take the steps to protect yourself afterwards. I'm actually going to another event with the same group I mentioned before. If it doesn't go well, then I will just leave. If things have improved, then I will stay and enjoy myself. I understand it's not easy though, especially when we have certain expectations. Please do look after yourself though and feel free to DM me if you wish to discuss further. Much Love Wingzie/Becca

[farmerlesbian]

hi farmer lesbian!

so ive identified as bisexual for a long time but ive discovered recently i feel very comfortable within the lesbian ideas of gender and specifically the butchfemme community. i’ve been dating someone recently who also identified as bisexual but has related to transmasc lesbians understanding of gender as well as posts about butches. we both kind of see ourselves within the butchfemme dynamic but i’ve been very tough on myself with calling myself a lesbian because i’ve dated a man before (…in middle school..)

it’s gotten to the point where i’m really worried to label myself because of what it’d imply for my partner? but also what people would say? and while i know i dont HAVE to label myself it just sucks to know theres an identity im drawn to and feel like i fit into that i cant immediately slip into

hmm i'm not really sure how to guide you here. i guess i want to challenge you on some of the things you're saying here, it feels like you're coming at this from maybe the "wrong" angle (wrong feels too harsh a word, maybe just not the most helpful angle)

you're worried you can't call yourself a lesbian because you dated a boy in middle school? i think.. a LOT of lesbians dated boys in jr. high and high school and there are lots of late in life lesbians who were married to men for years before figuring out who they are and coming out. this is all completely normal and common. like, dating one boy in middle school doesn't really mean much tbh. i wouldn't base your identity or label you use around something like that. i dated a bunch of boys in high school and early college when i was still figuring out who i was. your labels or identity or gender or sexuality don't need to account for all you life experiences and past. it's not so much about your sexual history but describing who you are *now*, what you're interested in, in the present.

you say both you and your partner really like Lesbian Genders and butch/femme stuff. that's nice, but liking and relating to lesbian culture and gender stuff doesn't make you a lesbian haha! it's who you're attracted to and who you're not, that determines your orientation. gender and orientation are different things, as i'm sure you know. obviously very connected and stuff. like, for example, just because someone identifies as a man it doesn't make him straight, even though heterosexuality is an integral part of manhood, in the dominant culture. gay trans men are certainly not rare! the same goes for you guys.

also, remember that transmasculinity is a broad umbrella and encompasses a wide variety of people and their identities and experiences. plenty of butches aren't transmasc, and probably most transmascs aren't butch.

i will tell you that in the course of running this blog and being on the internet, i've probably seen and shared thousands of photos and drawing of people. not once have i ever seen something that represents me and my wife. if you are seeking out representation or examples of the options to be, in order to figure out who/what you are, i would advise against that. seek what feels true to you, what feels honest and right. you do not need to be similar to other people in order to find belonging, acceptance, and community. (though of course this is absolutely nothing wrong or bad if you do find others just like you, if you do fit in to existing roles and dynamics! that is of course perfectly normal!)

now, i don't know you or your partner. you know yourselves best. i can't tell you what you really are or really aren't. and i certainly am not going to tell you what you can or can't be! everything i'm saying here is to prompt you to think about and questions to ponder for yourself.

so, i think you have some points to think about, why have you been identifying as bisexual? what is drawing you to the lesbian label? have you tried using 0 labels and not thinking about your identity or labels for at least a month or two (if not a several months) and then coming back and evaluating it afresh? what about the butch-femme dynamic are you drawn to? what is holding you back? you are allowed to discover that you are a lesbian! or you are allowed to continue to be bisexual! i can't tell you who you are - but you're allowed to be and do whatever you want, whatever feels true to you! even if it doesn't make sense to other people or you don't see anyone else like you out there. you gotta be a little bit brave!

hang in there, and sending much love to you and yours! 🧡

[mihai-florescu]

i think i feel pretty similar to you in that the world is terrible, depressing, it sucks. that’s it’s natural state and we will always return there. but i thank that even though it hurts there are ideals unhampered by reality, stories we can create where that cycle ends for a moment in a happier direction. it isnt our job or duty as there isnt any grand purpose like that, but there is an opportunity out there to create a story with our lives. whether it’s a well known story or lost by the wayside, those who acknowledge the layer beneath the cheery “reality” that is peddled can be writers of their own. i might be delusional and there really is no hope but i hope to create stories for people to enjoy that elusive dream in if only for a temporary respite and cant give up until i well and truly fail. i don’t know if any of my thoughts speak to you in any meaningful way, but i felt compelled to share as while i think we share beliefs we seem to have come to rather different conclusions. i want to give my life to a story, an art, that will hold ideals the real world can never truly embody and thus cannot really give up as every taste of the real reality only strengthens my resolve. is there something like that for you? i’ve read your blog for a while and in my mind (which is an inexperienced mind so I apologize for sharing its fallible perceptions) you seemed like a fascinating person who holds ideals the world refuses to embody and is slowly sinking under that weight. i know it’s not really my place, so i apologize for my audacity, but i believe that you are the sort of person who can create a true happiness for yourself eventually. well, i mean i kind of have to if i believe that for myself. i have more to say, but it seems this is become a ridiculously long message. i apologize, my words likely have crossed between ideas and lost sense at times. i hope they help, or at least don’t harm. i hope you find loveliness loveliness in your day as you deserve it.

I've been journaling about this yesterday... my entire outlook on life i guess? I know i used to be creative and make projects that i found fun, but i cant find this drive in me anymore, i'm more than ready to give up (if only upset at the way it ended so im pressuring myself to make a good Last Project, but nothing is good anymore. It's all so...plain. useless. banal. there's no wit or multilayer to anything i can come up with anymore. I cant develop an idea anymore. There are enough stories, enough artworks, plenty of them bad, theres no need for me to add to it). Im sure it's just burnout stacked on top of depression and general worsening misanthropy and paranoia, but i don't think i will ever feel more hopeful again.

However i do think art, literature, games, even just stories from other people are keeping me grounded. They're also humanity's only redeeming quality - imagination will save our souls... but my position isn't to be an artist anymore, i cant spare the energy and i dont see a point in it either. I cant do a single basic living thing anymore that others seem to be able to do? I very much feel like an npc trying to do my most necessary tasks as best i can, failing more often than not. I hate getting asked what i'll do on a day off (it used to be often at my internship. I dont even want to imagine what they thought about me, that's another can of worms that still haunts me and contributed to why i became like this). The answer is quite literally Pretend I Dont Exist. I will not do anything. I cant do anything. I stop existing the second you stop seeing me, im just in bed dreading the next time i have to be human. I think when other people say they didnt do anything it's a hyperbole, but i can go weeks, and i have gone months even, without leaving the house, if i wasnt expected to.

Part of me wants to think, hope, i could maybe even get interested in making things again if there was no expectation for me to be a person for a few years, completely disappear off the grid (the expectation to be a person that just doesnt come natural to me anymore... and a specific one at that - achieving goals and moving forward, working, with ambitions or any sort of drive, young and energetic, an only child with a good education earning a living... i despise the idea of making money. I despise consumerism too. I want to fund artists, family owned restaurants, bookshops, cafes, and i do, i spend so much money without realising, but i'm really worried i'll run out and not be able to make any to survive once im older and wont get funds from my parents anymore. So i try to save and fail... My family friends, same age or even younger, are buying their own cars and apartments, successfully working multiple well paying jobs at the same time, with plans for the future...? Id like to know both how and why. How do you have the energy and why do you care. But even if they tell me the answers it doesnt change how i feel in my own life)

But this also has skewed my perception of other people... it connects to how i dont actually understand friendships anymore, im sure i mentioned it recently. Like with being an artist, there was a time i did understand and had deep friendships, i think, but it's quite alien to me now? In the way im not real until i have to interact with someone else, and even then, debatable, theyre not real to me either. Like i know this isnt a good mindset to have but it's either everything is real and i genuinely believe we need to disappear, to put an end to this sad species soon, or nothing is real and everyone's just playing a role in a story i get to watch. In a way taking away people's humanity and making them characters in my head is out of kindness, im being delusionally optimistic and quite frankly parasocial even with "friends", but it keeps me floating, stable. Ish. Still kind of empty but entertained enough. But then actually having a conversation outside my head with them is scary, unpredictable... on good days that can be fun too. My roommate always says i end up on side quests a lot if i leave the house, i think im just open to witnessing new stories... just on good, no, great days though, i cant stress that part enough. Great days are getting rarer and rarer. Most days pass by while im in bed and in my head trying to process anything, where i can barely have a coherent thought, and i wait for the day to end. Today was good for example but i still didnt manage to do anything to earn me the title of person, yet it was good because i 1. Ate, and 2. Didnt cry.

The part of your ask that hit me the most was when you said i seemed like a fascinating person, past tense. Im sure i was, but nowadays im very little even a person. Cant be helped. I hope i managed to explain how and why. If you ever want to share your art, my dms are open, i can maybe tell you about my gallery of failure wips i cant stand to look at anymore. I saw the followup ask with your personal info but im not quite sure what else to say... even this ask took too long to answer and now i need a nappp

[northwest-cryptid]

Jumping off the anon from earlier: I don't think anyone likes the new world set and I've seen plenty or people call out the devs for it so your def not alone there. Also I thought the Ala mhigan gown was African American patterns, since that is what they take inspo from?

Also as a certified zenos simp he calls even himself savage and while I sympathize with you having it used against you I dont think its as deep as you're making it out to be, zenos is a villain of course he's going to say rude shit to the wol

Anyway I dont go here and I don't doubt you'd block me for this if I wasn't on anon and I don't feel like being attacked for an opinion. So ✌️

A. The fact "no one likes the New World Set" isn't good either, the thing I dislike about it is the headdress specifically. As I said the actual outfit itself feels very "Party City Native" but it's the headdress that's actually offensive. Everything else about it is fine, at least more or less.

B. "He's bad so he's gonna do bad things it's not that big of a deal" I'm gonna say it again, SAVAGE IS A SLUR THAT HAS BEEN USED AGAINST MY PEOPLE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS, DENIAL OF IT BEING A SLUR DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS OF A SLUR. This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say people don't listen to Natives. I don't care if he's a bad person doing bad things you're REALLY missing the point, he's not real, someone at Square wrote that shit into the game thinking it's okay to use a slur and you are living proof that people do not care, congratulations you are part of the problem. Again people wouldn't be saying this shit "isn't that deep" if he used a different slur, you just don't think Native problems are worth worrying about unless they're cookie cutter shit like the New World Set which you still miss the point about.

C. You thinking the Ala Mhigan gown was African is exactly what I'm talking about, Natives aren't given any recognition when our culture is being stolen and profited from. I literally told you I'm Deer Clan Lakota and those very same patterns are on clothing passed down from my father's grandfather to him, and from him to me; patterns on clothes made by our people.

D. The entire ending of your message shows you don't know me but assume your opinion would upset me enough to block you rather than correct your misunderstandings, what do you take me for; some kind of savage? (See I can make that joke.) Ask yourself why you think I'd block you and ask yourself why you would be "attacked" for your opinion.

I genuinely do mean people like you when I say I wish people would listen to Native voices. A lot of people don't actually know squat about us, our culture, or our problems. Since you were so confident in making an assumption about me, allow me to do the same; you would not say these things about other minorities. Because you feel safe telling a Native that slurs that have been used against us aren't that deep, but you sure as hell wouldn't tell a Black person that the N word isn't a big deal, and before anyone says "well you can say one of them and not the other!" Yes I can, savage is our word, the N word is not. If I were Black it'd be the other way around for me.

People do not want to accept what we as Natives have to say unless we specifically say what you want to hear. This is specifically a big reason why most people don't know about our history, our culture, and our problems; it's not that we're not sharing them, it's not that we're not trying; it's that most people don't care enough about Natives and would rather get up in arms about FFXIV.

Do you realize how little I care about FFXIV?! There are Natives being raped, and murdered every day. The government has told us that if we cannot keep the blood of our people pure enough for them to consider us Native we won't be able to inherit our land and the American government will just take what little we have left because Native American people will no longer legally exist, our options are inbreeding or choosing to give up our very existence and we don't want to take either opinion.

And you want to argue with me about whether or not a slur is a slur because you're horny about a fictional video game character who says a slur.

I don't even have to say "people aren't listening to Natives when we try to tell you something is bad" because not only do people STILL think this is about FFXIV but people are willing to tell me it's "not as deep as you think it is" yeah alright cool thanks, let's not pay attention to the fact that it took until the 70s for Natives to be able to practice our culture and religion off the res, and even then where my father grew up, if a Native was off the res past 8 pm they would be violently beaten by cops. On my father's res the young men were taught how to survive in the white man's world of business while our young women were taught how to please the white men and not make them angry so they wouldn't be murdered or worse. Our culture was literally taught out of the youth because we are being forced to conform or die.

Let's ignore the decades of hate crimes committed upon my family alone, let's ignore every time I've heard the word savage while being beaten, mocked, and harassed. Classmates would try to hold me down and cut off my braid because they heard it would dishonor me. Classmates would grab me in the hallways and beat me, if I defended myself at all I'd put up with the parents of these kids screaming about how "this savage hurt my son" and when I'd explain I was just trying to get to class and was jumped by 3 kids with sharp objects even the principle would say I shouldn't have used force only to remark how he realizes "my people often don't handle conflict with words" so sure yeah, you can deny racism all you want.

Because it doesn't hurt you, and it's easier to look away and pretend this is all about some MMO than some actual real world problem that I was literally just saying the MMO exemplifies in its use of our culture and the use of a slur, and sure you can continue to defend it, to be mad about the wrong things because listening to Natives is hard.

But hey maybe it's just not as deep as I think it is, right? Perhaps all the racism and rape and murder and erasure of a whole people isn't that deep, because after all "savage" is just a word.

Look you're going to need to excuse me here, because yes I am upset; you have no idea what it's like to never be listened to when you try to explain racism and the problems your people are facing. Only for it to get some traction and then every inbox message I get completely misses the point, okay fair I'll explain things, no one has been offensively misguided until now; but to get this in my inbox first thing in the morning is like waking up to someone saying "no one cares about Native shit, shut up it's not that deep" and then ending it with the most passive aggressive "you're just gonna block me anyways and I don't want to be attacked for my opinion so ✌️" that tells me your not listening, you don't care to listen, you didn't want to learn you just want me to shut up.

This whole answer isn't for the Anon who sent me this message. This answer is for you, the individual who's actually taking the time to read it, because I do appreciate that you're actually reading what I have to say, even if it's easier to say it's not that deep; even if it's easier to look the other way and pretend we don't exist. I say these things in hopes my message reaches you and that you are aware of the kind of shit we deal with. I want for a world where the needs, concerns, and racism against my people receive the same coverage and care that other minorities get. We're being ignored, we're being intentionally forgotten, swept under the rug by anons like this who can't accept that our problems are real.

Do not be that person. Be better.

[filmnoirsbian]

hi joan. so ive written poetry for a few years now, but ive taken a break for a while because i couldn't find the inspiration or motivation to write. recently, ive started reading more poetry and other types of writing, but i find that im being inspired by specific lines (or concepts) more than anything else, and i think im crossing from inspiration into plagiarism. the thing is, in my own poetry, ill mostly either copy things like the structure/message/word choice/feel or what the line or poem itself is trying to do and i can't seem to stop. i can't get inspired on my own like everyone else seems to - it feels like my mind is blank whenever i try to write. and then i get inspired by others, it seems i can only badly imitate the words of another writer. i cant even read someone elses work without getting an idea about my writing or thinking about how it can branch off into my own. i cant help feeling horrible and guilty about it all the time, and it makes me question whether im even meant to be a poet despite the fact i genuinely do want to do it. it's like i dont have anything of my own to say and im just regurgitating everything that strikes me in writing. sorry, obviously you dont have to answer this, its very desperate lol. but would you have any advice (your writing is v good and i admire your thoughts)? in your opinion, how would you differentiate between inspiration and plagiarism? how do you find inspiration when it feels like you have nothing to say (if that happens to you)? and just. anything in general. i just feel so lost and hopeless - it seems like every writer has it figured out and knows the answers, except me. sorry again

Everyone gets inspiration from somewhere. None of us exist in total isolation and inspiration is everywhere, which is a good thing. I think this is something most creators worry about, given how much of art and media these days is derivative (and has, in spite of what we may think, been derivative throughout the ages. Again, no one exists in a bubble. Art being similar in theme or style is also not an inherently bad thing). Really, I wouldn't worry about it unless you are actively copying another person's work to the point where your work is not only similar, but genuinely incapable of standing on its own. There are plenty of talented poets (and artists in general) who have taken inspiration from other poets/artists before them. In this way, art can often be an ongoing conversation across generations. It might be helpful for you to decide what it is you want to bring to the table in this creative potluck, what you want to add to the discussion, what you hope might plant the seed of inspiration in the next poets to come.

[kallunavulgaris]

just some thoughts as of late of criticizing vs. asking and how Christianity is especially relevant to this split. religion should be a topic people are apt to ask the most questions and make the least amount of assumptions but i think we're eager to feed into our mental limitations and really even encouraged to do so

i notice a lot of dismissive sweeping statements being applied to religion as a whole but we all know Christianity is the "fair game" one for little jabs or sexy nun fetishes or themed horror movies or media disrespect. it's not really playing the victim imo as a Christian in the US i dont feel persecuted or discouraged from practicing (like plenty of Christians are globally) but noticing an obvious thing that happens... it's popular to confront one's personal feelings toward Christianity as a vendetta instead of an inquiry. i understand this to an extent since we don't always have the best representatives (lol), but humans are flawed and God's word is not

but something else i see a lot and have paid much mind to is biblical principles being taken out of context. to me it's so clear that scripture that predates our society and has outlived many others is obviously given to us to be applied? i see people taking issue with Romans mention of "all sin" and running with the unrighteous vs righteous categorization to think that means equal and therefore pedophilia is as bad as drinking or something lol. the bible doesn't conflate sin and the bigger point is that we are to govern the *world* and do so accordingly, we can do this alongside God's word... He calls for government explicitly, which makes other sweeping statements like "only God can judge me" annoying lmao.

i also don't understand picking one principle given to us and forming a counter argument to a specific verse or book. biblical teachings are designed to be found throughout the *entire* book. compilations of "the most disturbing bible verses" are useless when the entire point of being given a *book!!!* is to... read the book. there's context and translation and themes and many factors to account for. that doesn't mean you can't disagree ofc but it's so strange to me how often the reason for that is just made up and assumed. you *cannot* fill in for the aspects of the bible you don't fully comprehend with 100% certainty. no one should ever do this, not even a priest. we are humans with limited capacity for thought and understanding, and thousands of years of debate exist for a reason.

also, not every verse is a teaching and not every teaching is a commandment. it's also no one's place to tell another person that they're not religious. the whole point is we all live in sin, i do think plenty of people are "band-aid" Christians, in that they take solace in a label more than a lifestyle... but it's not up to me or anyone else to tell them if they truly believe or not

[muzanswaifu]

Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask (Answered)

I"m not even gonna wait for anyone to ask bcuz this bitch is gonna answer them NOW

I wait for no one 😤

Keep reading if you wanna see my answers!

I nominate @xxsabitoxx, @magoliaomega, @yurmomsawh0r, and all my other writer moots to answer all these as well, CUZ I WANNA KNOW WAT YALL HAVE TO SAY

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

All of my old Doushino fics lmao, I like the base storyline I did for all of them, but my writing was so shitty back then and I cringe looking back at them now. Ireally really wish I could just rewrite them but Ik some people would literally shit their pants if i deleted them so im stuck

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I have a kink for apology/angst scenes haha, if couldn't already tell from my past works. It's just something that I feel everyone thrives for, especially myself, where the love interest apologizes for all their wrong doings and admits that they long for yn's forgiveness and love. Mama is a heart throb

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Any scene with shinobu in my Gamer Giyu fic "The Perfect Date". I tried to make her as funny as possible in that one, and believe me, there were plenty more funny moments of her in my draft for that fic that I ended up having to cut out bcuz I felt it drew away from the plot too much. Oh how I wish to make a fic just for her lol

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

I like to make the love interests assholes sometimes, just to piss you guys off hehe, everytime they do something shitty that makes you hella sad, just know that it was me 😈

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

I don't unfortunately, I kinda just go read over it myself a couple times to check for mistakes but thats pretty much it. Ngl lie though, I am kinda interested in having someone else proofread for spelling mistakes and plot holes, any takers 👀 preferrably someone who's talented with that sort of thing haha

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I always enjoy a good simile and metaphor here and there, not really sure about themes... love at first sight maybe? enemies to lovers? tsundere? I like sad fics as well that have happy endings, I will never, ever do a completely sad ending, i just don't like them and they leave a bad taste in my mouth

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Dog, I dont even knooooooooooow, i think all of my fics are pretty straight forward and tame. Maybe Regrettable? All of my super crazy fics are still in production so we'll just wait and see, but for drafts rn, my "No Escape" (Sanemi x Reader) series is gonna be hella crazy, so just you wait

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

My fav thing about my writing is probably my dialogue, i think I write pretty appropriate dialogue. I try my damn hardest not to make the characters cringe and to make them relatable so I hope I've done a good job with that

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

Ngl, I kinda hate them. Kissing is nice and all but i write smut yall, i got bigger things to worry about than smooching. Now virginity loss fics are a whole nother story, bcuz i can actually make it enjoyable unlike real life 😭 Shitty first time gang arise ✊

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Nope, I bask in silence, maybe some white noise in the background sometimes? Music distracts me too much

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

I use my notes app on my phone to make my outlines, google for thesaurus, and an online word counter for the final word count

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Yup, for those who remember, I was working on a fic called Night and Day about Kyo x stepsister reader who was living with him. Originally I had him as a yandere, obsessive person with reader being uninterested in him and the fic being non-con, but I ended up scrapping the whole thing and changing it to be a fluff fic with reader living with kyo, reader having a crush on him, and slowly the two grow closer, with tons and tons of angst and sadness. The original outline for the non-con fic is on my patreon if anyone would like to see the poor thing, it had 8 chapters outlined too haha. what a waste.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Only 1 ☝️ I'm pretty sure i've mention her before, my friend sam? We used to read a ton of fanfics and watch anime growing up so she's the only person i've ever told since she understands the field, and i am never gonna tell anyone else 😭I would literally die, my group at college doesn't even watch anime

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Either Perfect Date or Regrettable

🍷 Do you drink and write?

Hehe no, I do smoke and write sometimes though

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

My Little One if I remember correctly

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I usually like to write at night after I've finished all of my hw, right before bedtime :)

💖 What made you start writing?

I had a ton of idea for fics but didn't want to spend my days requesting all of them so I just wrote them myself, I write so much shit already for school, so I just said fuck it, lets ball

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I thrive off of them ❤️‍🔥 I frame every single comment on my wall ngl

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Cheating. Not sure if thats a trope but i kinda feel it is in some fics where reader or love interest cheats, the one who got cheated on gets revenge sex with another party, and then they get back together. I just hate it and it hurts my feeling and turns me off

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

Of course! After I finish all of my requests I'm gonna get that started hopefully and use the money to buy hot figurines 🥵

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Sometimes, it depends on the fic. I usually just look up time period stuff so that things are close to accurate

🏆 What's your most popular fic?

My Little One

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

I love halloween fics, they are scarily hot

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

YUP, @magoliaomega has perfectly written part 2 for two of my fics, reading her gifts is so eerie bcuz they were exactly wat i would've wanted for the sequel and I love her for for it, she is literally god

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

I've never gotten any but I would love to, fan art is awesome

📈 How many fics do you have?

Uhhhh like 20 I think?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I usually outline but I'm kinda thinking ab stopping bcuz my best fics were written without any preparations so well see.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Girl Imma talk about I'm Yours, my upcoming series ab alpha kyo and omega fem reader. I am sosososoosososossosos excited for this one yall have no idea. I've already mapped out the chapters and plot and everything. Im currently working on chapter two and just cant wait to get this shit done so i can post everything. I'm just excited to add to the very small pile of kny omegaverse fics and hopefully the series will inspire more abo creations for demon slayer. Another work I'm excited ab is a collab im doing with a fellow bestie 😏 I wont name any names or say wat the fic is ab but hopefully well get the fic done sometime next year, really excited to work with her on this!

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I would start off with headcannons, then short scenes, then one-shots, then multi-chapter. I went backwords from this list and i wish i didnt haha. theres nothing wrong with doing it out of that order of course, I just think its the best way to build up skill and get a hang of things. Also dont be afraid to take breaks! burning urself out will lead to depression babes

💞 Who's your comfort character?

Shinobu ❤️ she was the first girl I wrote for in demon slayer and she's always held a special place in my heart

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Can't really answer this one lmaoooooo, so ill choose a random headcannon I have, Shizu taught Sanemi how to cook and he always helped her make meals for the family

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

Kyojuro, my love. He is so pure, I wanna suck the soul outta him

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Mitsuri was obviously upset.

One day was fine. Two was pushing it. Three was a little concerning. Four was a lite search. Five was thorough detective work. And six was a breakdown. By day seven, today, she was still bawling in her pillow, wondering where-oh-where you’d gone. 

Meanwhile, you hardly had time to worry about your concerning absence with a dragon on you at all times of the day. During the rare moments you weren’t getting knotted or eaten out, you were getting bathed, fed, or hushed to sleep. Similar to Kanroji, you too were sobbing into your bedding - but your reason being your cunt getting ravaged hourly. The pleasure was still incredibly mind-blowing, but your pussy was so fucked raw and puffy that you were sore beyond belief from the mating session. You had misunderstood that section in the book. You’d thought a week-long initial rut meant only occasional couplings, like a sort of honeymoon phase.Nope. Every waking moment was spent hanging off his knot and getting filled to the brim with his seed. Hereallywanted babies. And he was likely going to get them, even if it wasn’t your fertile week. You doubted his sperm would take no for an answer, honestly...

“Are you tired, my love?”

You moaned as he pulled on the lock and replied in a cracked voice. “Ye-eess.”

With one more tug, his knot was pulled free. You came painfully one final time before a flood of spunk gushed down your legs. Kyojuro flipped you over to your back and set you down onto the part of the nest that wasn’t caked in sin.

He kissed your forehead as you panted. “Our rut is done, little one. You did wonderfully, I’m so proud - you may rest now,” he whispered and laid next to you. You sighed and groaned, “Finaallyyyy.” He chuckled.

“Tomorrow we will bring your things here and anything else you may need. Your friends and family will understand, I’m sure.” You eyes shot open and you remembered them.

“Oh my god!”

Lil snippet from My Sweet Kitten (Mitsuri x Dragon Iguro) My Little One Part 2 hehe

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Any of my non-con lmao, I think they would kill me tbh, but I heard that kinks were hereditary so this is their fault

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

If people ask for a part 2, even though I wont write one hehe

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

Breeding kink, I have needs. Also pet names (baby, sweetheart, my love, darling, princess, ect)

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

Maybe as a side career, I'm not getting a degree in my field of study just to write smut all day lmaooo, i enjoy having writing as my hobby and dont want to have it bare the burden of being my main source of income, it would stress me too much

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

It depends honestly, if I'm really inspired and horny, it takes less time. My Little One took me only 3 days to write cuz i was so pent up haha, requests take longer tho bc i have a specific plot and terms to stick to, along with anxieties about whether or not the requester will approve wat i've produced, so those usually take me a couple weeks to a month

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

Action. That shit is hard. I don't think i could ever write a fight scene ever

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Not the ones i have currently but the ones i have in the works are extremely heartbreaking, i cried a little writing some of them

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

It depends on the type of criticism. I appreciate it if its about errors in my writing since i still have some growing to do in that department. But there has been some drama ab the things I write ab that people find...distasteful. If you don't like what I write ab, leave, dont waste my time pretending to be a mutual, I write for me not you. Some of yall have some real mean girl mentalities and need to grow tf up, this isn't fucking highschool. Im glad for thei experience tho bcuz it's taught me how to deal with negative people better. On the more constructive side of things tho, if you see errors like plotholes, devices, or grammar in my fics, please tell me! I miss shit sometimes and appreciate the help to better my work

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

#Smut. LMFAOOO

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I looooove reader interactions! I wanna know what people think and what they would like to see next. I also love requests but I've learned that they are harder than they look lmao. I just worry ab disappointing readers sometimes. I want you guys to enjoy it too!

[ifthiswingscouldfly]

hello!! supporting ur matchup event. 💕 tysm for taking the time to do this- i love ur work hon!! ❤️

Outside Look: I am female (biologically as well). I am 5’4, brownish-blonde hair. I have blue eyes, pale skin, freckles on my face and dotted on my body. I am decently curvy- smaller chest but massive thighs lol.

Personality Traits: For the positives, I am generally very motherly. I dote on all of my friends and usually take the role of mediator. I am very creative and artsy- and love telling and recieving jokes. I’m always up for a good laugh!! As for my negative traits, I can be a bit sensitive. Not overly, but a bit. I am very emotional, and need reassurance sometimes. Once again I’m not a case but I def need it. I will eat massive amounts of food which is not at all good for anyone credit card. I zone out a lot and have the coordination of a brick. 😍🙌

Likes: BANANA BREAD 🙌, picnics, naps, just chilling, history and reading, and rain/snow 🩵

Dislikes: Large insects, hot weather, humidity, anything having to do with Joanns Fabrics. Idk why i hate that store so much

MBTI: INFP-T

Zodiac Sign: Pisces :)🩵

Love Language: Quality Time + Physical Touch (giving), Words of Affirmation + Physical Touch (recieving)

Aesthetic: I dont have a specfic one, but anything to do with messy beauty and/or plants. 100% plant mom.

oo i forgot but nsfw and sfw head canons please!! i am 19. :)🩷

i hope this is plenty of info, good luck going through any of it, and thank you!!! have a wonderful day ❤️❤️

°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°

Hello @aeripq ❤ I hope you're doing good.

I appreciate your support and kindness btw. Thank you for being patient.

I match you with......

Leonardo

Pre-relationship (SFW)

Well, in the beginning Leonardo acted like a tease towards you like in everything but not in a bad way. Whenever you see him around he would joke and try to light up the mood because he loves doing that.

He also was light-hearted when you took his jokes well. In order to gain your trust he had to make sure you're not afraid of him and this would include taking you to town so you can see Paris in that time period.

Also he wanted to make sure that everywhere you exist he would be there. Like if you're in the library cleaning he would be there. Etc...

He just wanted to make sure that you get to use to him and his presence.

Confession (SFW)

Obviously you both grow to like each other because of your similarities and because Leonardo at some point caught your attention as well.

That night around 8 p.m after having dinner and helping sebastian with the chores you felt a bit of unease so you went to the garden of the mansion to have a walk and think of how much your life changed since you came in here. And as expected Leonardo followed you there and asked if everything is alright. You told him about what you felt and he hugged you to give you a sense of relief it was all sweet and dreamy at first but then you realized how hot your cheek was. Of course the genius knew. And to ease that he tried to change the subject and talk about other things but obviously your eyes didn't leave him alone.

You literally was talking to him through eye language of how much you like him and giving him the I want you and I want to be with you look.

Ex.

It was obvious for him what you want but he really was in a denial state because of the intense feeling he felt towards you. "Cara mia your eyes saying it all" he said " Saying what?" You asked in husky tone of voice, like you didn't already know that. "You're making it seem like it is easy for us" He said exchanging the same look you give him "Well, it is" you lowered your voice looking at the green grass shyly. "You don't have to hold back" you told him looking up at him. " I don't want to". And then he broke the distance taking you in his arms and kissing you right on your lips. Your hands was on his chest and to reach his lips you had to stand on your tip toes. You smiles to him as he said "I love you" and it was the most beautiful thing you heard in your life.

Relationship headcanons (SFW)

Quickly, Leonardo understood your personality and your behaviors after just being with you for a short period of time. He became fond of your every little detail. How you eat, walk, sleep and even your reactions. He just can't stand a day that passes without spending a little bit of it with you. Not in a clingy way of course but he'll just make sure that both of you spend time with each other and courage you to be the best version of yourself.

He would really appreciate your motherly behavior and the way you're friendly with plants and animals. Also he would be around when you bake the banana bread to help you. Or maybe he will just make it as a surprise when he is out in town and picking some for you "Hey Cara mia I just found your delicious meal, here's it". He have no problem in dragging you everywhere with him or taking you on picnics to enjoy the nature together.

At night he would enjoy the discussions you make with him about any topic tbh because he is knowledgeable and know almost everything, while you both in his bed cuddling and just enjoying the warmth together.

Leonardo 100% will be aware of your phobia of insects and he will try to make sure that you don't face any.

Another thing is he won't mind you playing under the rain/snow. It is just so attractive that you enjoy life in every detail.

And the fact that you're a motherly girl is so soothing and reassuring for him that he would never leave such a treasure.

Relationship headcanons (NSFW)

He is so skilled ommgg. He can turn you on and flip you around like a coin. And when he is in love he is so damn horny. Anything you do will just make him amazed. And don't get me started on how much he get jealous but he won't even say. Because he doesn't want you to think that he is possessive or anything.

Well, I can see that bath sex is a thing here to be honest. One evening you were tired because you got involved with a party sebastian throw up for Napoleon's birthday and went to your room to rest. For a brief moment Leonardo already was behind your back and asked you if you want him to help you relax. You agreed and he suggested to take a bath with him. In the beginning it was so innocent you both took your clothes off and set enjoying the hot water. And then the fun eventually started. He started to massage you back and then his hands went from you back to your breasts and you started to moan. One hand on your breast massaging it and the other circles your sensitive bud between you legs and after that you turned your back and started a make out session while you ride him. Both of your moans and groans became so loud that you both had to deal with the teasing next day.

Also I can see that he would be into cock-warming and morning sex but the second one won't be daily.

He is yearning whenever he don't spend enough time with you and sometimes you both will get used on quickies because of not having enough time with each other.

Another thing is he is really into doggy position and is a huge turn on for him. Being exposed and vulnerable in front of him so he can take the lead is so enticing.

Obviously, he is the dominant one in the relationship and the bedroom as well. But if you prefer taking the lead he would like that.

At first both of you was kind of shy and awkward but you grew to like each other more in a sexual and physical way.

Possible conflicts:

Well it is known that he is a pure-blood vampire and you're a human so it would be difficult for him to turn you into a vampire. What if you don't want to? What if you hated him for doing it?. What if the eternity wasn't enough to love you?. What ifs killed his poor mind and the negative thoughts kept going back to him.

Possible match:

Le Comte De Saint Germain and Vincent Van Gogh

°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°

☆ Note:

Thank you for reading my match up.

The ask box will be open until 20th/Jun/2023.

Comment your thoughts below and inform me if you want specific things.

*Follow me for more

M 🤎

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

this is so long please read if it interests you and skip if it doesnt i genuinely just couldnt stop thinking of things to add.

i used to wonder why antisemites would constantly make up criticisms about zionism that are either blatantly false or a misunderstanding of facts. especially when jewish antizionists have consistently been able to find real criticisms of zionism and analyze them based on jewish history and personal experience (tbh i dont consider any goyim to be antizionist or zionist but that's not the point). it's definitely not a problem of "valid criticisms of zionism dont exist". even when i dont agree with jewish antizionists i usually understand how they got to their conclusion and i find it fully respectable. also when i say factual/valid criticisms i dont just mean shit i personally agree with. im a zionist with plenty of criticisms about the movement (yeah I know it's ironic). all i mean by that is a criticism of zionism that is backed up by facts.

imo antisemites either explicitly or implicitly know that if they look up factual criticisms of zionism they'll also have to learn about the positive stuff. it's all intertwined. to a lot of jewish people this isnt that big of a deal. we're raised to ask questions and we're taught how to formulate a good argument from a young age. its pretty normal for us to critique things that we generally support or find postives in things we generally critique. however, goyim are much less likely to be raised this way. obviously some are but the dichotomy of good and bad is much more prevalent in goyische culture than jewish. of course we know some shit is good and other shit is bad, we're not fuckin idiots, but nuance is integral to us.

i dont know what it feels like to be raised in a culture with a strong difference between good and bad. it doesnt make sense to me at all. however id assume that that upbringing combined with social media, which favors quick, shocking information, would result in something like goyim constantly glazing over factual critcisms of zionism and just making shit up. the made up shit is simultaneously more gut-wrenching and easier to digest due to its simplicity. it's really fucking hard to accept that zionism is so complex if youve been taught that things are always just good or bad. and even harder if your activism began and ended with social media instead of a medium that favors long-form content.

you cannot research zionism without being whacked in the face with nuance. its the reason i research zionist history more than zionist theory because that shit is so confusing sometimes (said with love). learning about zionism isn't an easy task at all. ive been doing it seriously for around 5 years and casually since i was a small child and i still learn shit every day. if i studied zionism for hours every day id probably still have something to learn when i die.

antisemites do not like being called antisemites, so they try to learn things about jewish history and then fail. they dont actually care about the information they just want to seem like they know something. they are not doing this for the benefit of jewish people. they wont actually spread true jewish history or recommend jewish creators that could share correct information. they'll instead say bare minimum shit that makes themselves feel proud for saying the word "jewish" and their followers are making death threats towards zionists.

ive seen some goyim say some factual things about zionism and stay in their lane while doing so, both things i rlly appreciate. and time and time again they're met with antisemitic conspiracies, death threats, doxxing, etc. not as much as jewish people are but still a lot. most people are not ready and may never be ready to support jews through the good and the bad.

this ties into the idea of the "innocent" victim. the one who is pure and kind, who never said a bad word about anyone and saved baby mice from fires. this idea of the innocent victim exists in war, abuse, crime, literally anywhere where someone's human rights are violated. however even if someone is innocent in a particular situation most people are not 100% good and innocent all the time. there's a few exceptions like babies (although i do know some babies that are fucking assholes) but in general people are a mix of good and bad.

jewish people do not shy away from being both good and bad. we embrace it with open arms and even though we try to improve our bad traits we dont fear them. "the only good jew is a dead jew" is fitting because when someone is dead you can make so much up. you can pretend they were incapable of every doing anything even remotely bad. you can say the poor jew who died was your biggest inspiration even though you scoffed at them every time they opened their mouth.

and this is why antisemites hate zionism so much and love making up false critcisms. because it throws concepts like black and white morality, the desire to consume information quickly, and the innocent victim into the fucking mud. then it punches it and steps on it and kicks it. anything and anyone that favors simple information over complicated information, not matter how incorrect, is going to have a hard time discussing zionism. people want to know things, yet sometimes they dont wanna actually put in the work to learn the correct information from good sources because that's hard work and antisemites do not want to put in hard work regarding jewish history.

if you believe im gonna solve antisemitism singlehandedly then who the fuck do you think i am. this isnt going away anytime soon. however you can do shit to help. study zionism on your own time and develop your own opinions on it. i highly recommend focusing on 1-3 specific topics trust me it's really confusing otherwise. teach others about it when you feel safe to do so. share resources with them and encourage them to do their own research. maybe point them to a specific aspect that relates to an interest they already have, and if you're mentally able to handle it call out antisemitic misinformation. a lot of people will not listen but there will always be at least one person who just needs a little bit of help starting.

anyway i may do actual research on this in the future because observations and i might turn it into a proper essay. I'll write one version where i say fuck and another where I don't.

[percyjacksonscookies]

dude imma say it

the percy jackson tv show sucks so bad

and I have a lot of time to think at work when im not busy with my little tasks so imma rant about it

because my little brain likes to look for connections i guess

anyway

IT SUCKS SOOOOOO BAAAAAAD HOLY

S H I T

its a giant mix of things because of where we are in time

every major piece of media is a huge reflection of the times we live in so uh

it makes sense that this would suck too like every single other piece of media disney has released in the past decadeish (it comes down to taste so if u like a Disney thing, whatever)

but like?!?!

because of the times we live in where writers had to strike for better wages and a semblance of recognition (i dont know the terms exactly) it makes sense that they gave ol' Ricky boy a shot at screen writing cause they didn't really have to take a chance with a new writer. cause u know disney! wherever there are corners to be cut they will! gotta think of the poor ol' bottom line!!

BUT ALSO RICK RIORDAN'S QUALITY IN WRITING WENT DOWN S O HARD AFTER HIS FIRST SERIES WITH PERCY

heroes of Olympus and trials of Apollo do not have the same flavor as the original series and I know plenty of people will agree with me

and thats cause ol' ricky boy (might call him uncle rick ironically cause I have a big family so its in character of me to have beef with an uncle plus like.... cmon its for the bit, an homage to my cringey younger self, and to help me avoid stupid autocorrect on my phone, it works on so many levels, if u must, cringe away) lost the fucking heart of the original series

lost the whole point and charm of the 1st series

it started out as a fucking bed time story for his son for fucks sake!!!!!! so obviously it was going to be a story built on so much love you could feel it in every word he carefully knit together for his son to feel less alone in the world

and thats why I looked up to him for so many years!!!!

he inspired me to start writing!!! so that maybe some day I could also write stories that helped people feel less alone

because the best fucking stories are the ones with the most heart and genuine emotions you feel like you could be there

but uncle rick fucking lost it because i think after the massive success of his first series he saw it as a way to make money for his family instead of a way to lovingly craft something for the sake of it just existing

yet another thing capitalism has taken from us

I have yet to read his other work, as an adult, because percy jackson is such a comfort book for me and I've obsessively done so much research on it I remember him doing an interview once where he said his students found his other works and they were teasing him about the cuss words in the book because of course they were he taught middle schoolers and that is where he is stronger than I

but thats also another thing

since I haven't read his other works, I dont know if they're going to speak to me like percy jackson has, but probably not from the looks of his other series (ive read all of heroes of Olympus and some of trials of Apollo but thats just cause I adore nico)

but I can definitely say for sure without a shadow of a doubt

dude

uncle rick is NOT a screen writer

he SUCKS at it so bad

he definitely doesn't know how to build suspense in film or write around the obstacles that come with live acting

which is embarrassing man

ive been there

did a senior directed play in high school, wrote the script myself

and it sucked pretty bad

because I was a story teller not a script writer!!!! I didnt know what the fuck i was doing!!!!! whenever I wanted a new character I would just invent one out of thin air, what do you mean I had to have an actor for every new character I have?!?!?!?!

soooo grateful i tried that for the first time in high school cause its not that embarrassing when u suck at something as a teenager cause hey!!! ur learning new shit everyday!!

but this ties back into my point of this show reflecting the times

I will say, I prefer the movie of percy jackson over this weird show

and thats cause it had charm! zest! a screenwriter and people that knew how to make movies!

were at such a weird place in cinema

at least in the mainstream american/western media

I saw everything everywhere all at once last year and it blew my tits clean off

but thats because it was made by people who wanted to make art for arts sake!!!! for the love of creation!!!!!

thats why those movies are so successful now

cause there's really no formula to follow anymore so anything that seems original and made with love is so fucking insanely successful and big corporations can't fucking replicate that without taking chances and letting people tell honest earnest stories

which is why every Disney villain sucks now cause they have to also secretly maybe sometimes be a good person

oh no the circumstances they were given made them a villain

hmmm I wonder who helped with the capitalism of it all?? hmmmm such a mystery

I know we all miss when villains were just evil for fun and that was it

like Ursula, they didn't explain shit about her backstory she was just a woman in a cave that had a reputation and had a sick as hell design and that was all people needed to like her (shout out to divine) (also I don't remember much about the little mermaid I am basing this off of vibes)

where was i going with this.....

anyways the pjo TV show sucks

let Rick Riordan cook longer as a screen writer or let him be a co author of the script my god he sucks at this

get an expert screen writer in there asap phew!!!

today's adhd rant has been brought to you by:

this thing

[empyreasheart]

I RETURN WITH MORE QUESTIONS. and one topic on my mind. xion xion xion xion xion xion XION shes so interesting and your hcs are always so good do you have any about her or the sea salt trio in general. i miss them so much (also i know you have work to do sorry if this is a distraction from it!! feel free to leave this ask for later)

IM FREEE WHICH MEANSSS I CAN TALK ABOUT MY DEAR DEAR XION!!!! no joke i have been thinking about her all day.

first off i LOVEEE xion so much. whenever i see her get attention and love im so happy. when i see her i have a habit of going "XIONNNN" super loudly.

im putting this under a read more cuz its gotten super long oops

my xion headcanons... well first of all i love every reading of her character as a trans allegory & how people intepret her as either trans or nonbinary! i dont think it was done on purpose but shes been claimed by the commjnity and im so happy about it. transfem xion my beloved. second of all shes autistic TO ME but honestly everyone in soras heart hotel is so thats a given. third of all give me xion with big dark brown eyes or give me death!

what id like to see explored in future games / i fanwork: her identity! we see roxas's frustration and anger about being his own person plenty but we hardly see xion upset at her predicament. i think this is because she wants to do the right thing, not because shes okay with the situation. i really want to see xion's feelings about not having her own identity explored, given that everything about her is based on either sora or his memories of kairi and she was basically created in a lab as a tool for organization 13. she should feel weird about existing in the first place, especially next to roxas and naminé, who dont have the same history behind their creation

in addendum to that, i want to see xions character design change to something more unique. she already has a new outfit, but id love to see her have a new hairstyle (whether she grows it out or just puts it up) so she has something different than a mirror of kh1 kairi's hair. i think ive also mentioned that i think itd be interesting if xion had her own eye color after kh3 (side note its bullshit we never got to see her norted eyes in kh3. she shouldve played a bigger role in the story too but thats another rant) to symbolize that shes her own person now, not a puppet meant to copy sora. lastly she !!! deserves !!! her own keyblade!!! there's so many cool keyblades from days to choose from & theres the weapons from her boss fight - theres no reason for her to still be using the kingdom key and i really hope she gets her own soon.

i keep thinking about what you said about xion not being another "nice" girl character and im like... so true. i dont think xion would be mean i want to go about it in a way that doesnt completely rewrite her character but i think exploring how she copes with her past w/ both organizations & her identity & trauma would be interesting, especially with how it parallels to naminé's own way of coping and dealing with her own trauma. theyre like Shy vs introverted to me lmfao i think xion tries to be friendly but overall she prefers to stay close to the people she feels safe around. i want to see xion be rude but in the autism way where she doesnt mean it shes just not aware. and stuff like that i guess. this paragraph was just word vomit my bad

THE SEA SALT TRIO... theyre seriously the family of all time i love them so much. ill just focus on xion here because this is already super long. BUT AXEL LOVES XION SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SICK THEYRE NOT TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH.. the implication that lea subconsciously keeps his coat on in kh3 so xion (and roxas) can recognize him makes me so emotional. also the fact that lea just clicks with kairi because she also holds a part of xion inside her... AND WHEN HE BUYS HER AN ICE CREAM AND HE DOESNT EVEN REMEMBER WHY HES BUYING THREE. UGH. i love them so much. theyre definitely one of those duos found in the trios that dont get much attention which just draws me towards them more (like riku and kairi). i think lea is absolutely riddled with guilt about the events of days so he never lets xion forget that shes loved. i think xion is touch-averse *except* when it comes to roxas and lea because she feels safest around them.❤️

to end i will discuss roxas and xion . they are like a little orange cat and a little black cat to me. halloween colored. theyre so small i love them so much. i imagine when xion first meets the twilight town gang shes jealous bc roxas has other friends :( but roxas assures her shes super duper special to him and no one else can take her place in his life. they have such a unique bond that i dont know if any of the other characters have with each other. just something so special about those two. when it feels like no one else understands they have each other... and i think that makes for some angst when xion struggles with her own issues that even roxas cant relate to

[ineffablyendless]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you'd like to know better!

Tagged by @munsonsbabygirlie , thank u Chromie! Last year, technically, that i keep forgetting to do but this feels like a nice way to start the New Year!

Book Im currently reading:

American Gods by Neil Gaiman! I'm trying to get a bit more into reading this year, but its been a hot minute and im crawling by slower than I expected. That being said I've got a whole list waiting for me, and I'm incredibly enjoying AG so far <3

What I usually wear:

Blue, if I'm being honest. Its not my actual favourite colour, but it's my comfort one. I can't reliably say jeans even: ive really grown into a good pair of slacks. Tho i suppose if youre trying to imagine me, think blue jeans, a battered second hand pair of yellowing high tops, a white tshirt and an old plaid shirt, and ive been told i wear my hijab a very recognizable way 😭 also blue

How tall I am:

157 cm last i checked, 5 feet exactly in american measurements i think...?

My star sign. Do I know any celebrities or historical event that shares it:

Im a libra! Im sure plenty of people got born and big events happened in the first half of October, but nothing comes to mind immediately. I suppose i dont care enough to remember, lol

Do I go by a name or nickname:

Nickname. I go by Choice in all cyberspaces. It's a name that endeared itself to me many years ago, its nothing close to my actual name, and I enjoy the broad line of separation between my lives on and offline. Irl tho, i usually dont go by a nickname, at least nothing used by anyone outside family, and thats even MORE closely guarded. So.

Did I grow up to be what I wanted to be as a child:

I was an angry, suicidal, incredibly hurt child, and I had no true ambition besides finding joy and holding on to it with both hands. I wanted to be content and left alone, most of all. I wanted to be happy.

I'm a lot happier now. It's an uphill battle. Baby me would be glad to see where I am now tho i think. I hope

Something I'm good at vs Something I'm bad at:

I am. Very good at speaking. I take pride in this, many have told me I have the innate talent with words and the know how to lead a team and control a room. I know how to get myself listened. On paper, I know what I want said. Many things. Words are a power I wield well.

Vs

I am, sincerely, not very good at empathy, nor sympathy. I struggle to look outside my periphery, to crawl outside my own head and pop my own bubble. I have come across as-not cold, but callous, cruel, a little uncaring. I feel less remorse for this than I should, I think. I try, but thats not enough sometimes. I sincerely do not care of other opinions and perspectives as default. I like to think im better at it now. I'm aware of it. But its still a problem

If I draw or write, what's my favourite of anything I created this year?

Im taking that to mean 2022. I guess this line from my fic A Cosmic Kiss?

Millenia ago, a comet had come to strike down the surface of the earth like a Holy hand clearing a table, and decimated all that had ever existed, and it had been the end of things. It had been the beginning. It had moved with the leisure of treacle towards its purpose in the indifferent void, but close, close, pulled into the orbit of the earth with speed to singe the atoms of air. Creation, by the guide of Destruction. Life, then Death, then Life again. Such was the way of things. Fires that last are the ones that waited. Paradoxes; sudden, and not. 

Such was their way.

It was the first thing that struck me to write the one shot, the one partially inspired by Puppet History, and would be the ongoing theme of the fic. Its quite good, i have to admit. Im glad the fic went over well.

Dogs or cats:

Cats. Nothing against a sweet puppy, but I prefer the chill leisure of your everyday feline thank you very much.

Something I would like to make content for:

All my fandoms. All of it. I write less than I honestly should; Sandman and Watcher and Good Omens and OFMD

Something I was excited about that turned out to dissappoint me:

*blinks* Oh God, i cant think of anything. Theres that book carnival, but it was a surprise, and it exceeded my poor memory and expectations, even if I didnt find what i was looking for. Hmm. If anything dissapointed me, it doesnt come to mind.

Hidden talent:

I have no idea ❤

Something I wish to have at this very moment:

A bite of chocolate. Maybe a cookie. But I'm broke enough to keep an eye out for the bank account and i cant afford such luxuries. Im even out of cocoa. Sigh.

Tagging @freddykicksasses @ennas-aesthetic @wannabecoyote @waistcoat35 @youre-platinum-pussycat

[jaed1nzmogies]

heyy long time no see! anyways rant post. its cool to skip this :)

cw for queer discourse. which i hate, and this will probably be the only time i ever discuss anything like this besides the occasional reblog

just a little rant about my thoughts recently. and please dont try to change my mind. im autistic and i have a large sense of justice so its almost impossible to change my mind about things im very stubborn

of course, my rant is about trans men trying to claim the lesbian label. i want to be specific when i say trans MEN, not trans masc people, not “masculine-aligned”, not gender fluid or anything else. trans men that identify as men. and THEN try to claim to be a lesbian. listen, i am in no way advocating for those types of lesbians. the really weird terfy ones are bad. so terfy lesbians or whatever youre calling yourself that hate trans women i do not like you.

Anyways, its infuriating. How are you not disgusted by using the term lesbian as a man? how are you, as a trans man, comfortable in any way shape or form. you work so hard to fit in as a man, right? if you are a man in your head, why do you think a lesbian would be attracted to you? surely you KNOW they are not thinking of you as a man. ever. And, how are you even comfortable using the term that women and other non men carved out for themselves? how do you feel like you have the right to trample over everything like that as a man?

I genuinely do not care if you identified as a lesbian before you transitioned. That does not give you the right to infringe on that label that is not for you. I don’t care if you “have such a deep connection to the label” you are creepy. Can you imagine a cis man doing that? why are you any different? and dont even get me started with “sexuality and gender are not rigid” then dont use the terms when you mean something else??? along with “contradicting terms is what being queer is about” what?? that is literally not even true 😭😭 identifying as things out of spite of your OWN community is crazy. these peoples logic is so crazy. i want to open their skull and examine their brain to see how it works.

Contradicting terms were more popular in the past, with things like boy dyke or other examples i cannot remember right now (im sorry if that wasnt even right but you know what im talking about right) The community has obviously changed. And it’s definitely for the better. As it stands, the community has plenty of fighting as it is. There is nothing you lose from just admitting something that everyone else knows; Youre just straight.

This is just another stupid issue that can so easily be solved. If you are a man, cis or trans, doesn’t matter. You cannot be a lesbian. You can have a connection to past experiences when you identified as a girl. You can recognize its part of your upbringing and effected you as a person. That does not give you the right to infringe on the label.

The community has demonized the label Straight so much that their own men have cowarded in fear of it.

You can use the word straight. you are not any less part of this community, i promise. theres more to life than existing out of spite of your own siblings.

Im going to be honest, if you identify as a lesbian, no one will see you as a man.

Honestly, why is it always lesbians getting the butt end of everything? wheres all the trans women claiming to be gay? yeah i wonder.

also, i want to make it clear im obviously a progressive. this is just where i draw the line morally. ok thanks

Anyways! i know this isnt the important issue right now but letting things off your chest is a good thing, right?

anyways love u guys hope ur doin well

[magnoliamyrrh]

Paul is a fucked up manchild who berates his mom the second he gets supernatural powers and sees himself as better than everyone. That’s only if you can get past herbert’s awful writing where his villains gotta be fat and gay and he repeats these facts every single time they switch povs as if the audience has somehow forgotten (seriously, highlight every time herbert mentions the villain is fat. It’s so common it’s just boring stale writing). Paul in dune is the worst kinda self insert fanfic. Dune is such a shitty book girl how do you enjoy it

ohh he definetely is a man child; i feel bad for him in like the first half of the first book mainly bc hes a teenager, hes 15, like, a teenager teenager not an almost adult 17-18. he may come from a powerful family but hes just thrust into very messed up circumstances, more or less tortured to prove hes human, has to grapple with being some sort of raised-to-be-exceptional genetic experiment and being used in some weird intergalactic lie and war, and incredible amount of historical pressure and other things. like, at 15, hes more kid than adult dealing w this. but also, while being 15, he is smart, and charming to others, and he quickly rises to great infleunce and is good at manipulation. and yea the moment he gets some more power he turns it even against his own mother, against himself, and against others and the longer they go on the more insufferbale he becomes; what ground of expeptionalism in him existed gets raised tenfold -hes an inherently flaued character by all means who even when he tries he fucked up badly many times. i mean like hell, among all the shit he ends up doing, even just that thing that he himself didnt have the power to put shit in order, so he ends up forcing it on his son, like how he was shoved into a bunch of things when he was younger

and yes lol i am well aware of the villan thing. i do get that in this context the "fat" thing and even the gay pedo thing is moreso an allegory for greed and the keeping of and hoarding of precious things (im Not saying fat ppl are like this mind u, im not saying its good either, but in many cultures fat has or is indeed revered as a sign of wealth; and this is used to contrast to those who dont have, and i reckon this is where it comes from in the story). but yes, i do think thats uhh i hate this word problamatic. the fat thing, the gay thing, the pedo thing. definetely part of an ongoing issue of attaching several of those characteristics to villans, and also of making villans generally ugly, thus associsting the two together. like yup, its definitely not good

idk tho, i think. dune was written in the 1960s by a white dude. like, it doesnt suprise me that that stuff is in there. ive read plenty of things that have parts of them that are problamatic or outdated or offensive and it just,, is what it is. like idk i can enjoy something while also being aware and critical of the parts of it that are fucked up - i think if i wasnt able to, i wouldnt be able to like,,,, explore a lot of the literature that exists out there, especially older literature, no matter from where its from in the world or if its written by men or women. most of it or most authors at least have written some weird shit or held some weird shit. idk just a stupid parallel off the top of my head i love the 1001 nights stories - i grew up with them - but theyre filled to the brim with weird shit and problamatic things and sexism and racism and slavery and whatever else, like absolutely filled - to an extend they reflect the times. i still, however, enjoy reading them tho

i also dont know how much paul is a self insert - maybe. ive never read the dude as sympathetic or a sympathetic anti-hero much. i did find the idea that out of this all-female order theyd have the idea that a male would be the one w the greatest power and some sort of prophesied force of power weird, sooo idk maybe. but idk, if its a self insert i rlyyy dont think its supoosed to be a flattering one much. the dude just gets worse and worse as the books progress, and he ends up after fucking up so much and being too weak to fix it, exiled, alone, spending his last yesrs wondering in loneliness and deep regret. so, i dont think its shown that his superiority complex or anything else brought him something good; it just lead to tragedy

mostly i like the series for the intricacy of its plot and the way its introduced, the messages it tries to send even if it at times fails or does so badly. like yea, its not perfect, but it is trying to ssy something about foreign meddeling and co-opting of religions and cultures and desperste situstions, or colonialism and capitalism, of exploitation, greed, power, etc. and also in very large part its lore, its scifi elements, its weird out there mysticism, and all the parts of it that are very, very weird. i am fascinsted by the world that this dude created. im a really big fan of magical realism and to an extent the books are like this - because they start more normal and over time become more and more mystical and fantastical and weird and less grounded as more concepts, creatures, and affects of the spice are introduced. i also do like that the main character isnt an actual hero. all this talk of prophecy and whatever, but its all bad, and it goes so fucking bad. its to an extent a subversion of classical fantasy tropes, combined with space scifi.... and yes. there are times when the writing isnt great, or when its outdated, or when it hammers things again and again (like the villan thing). i also think in many places the writing is intriguing, careful, and calls for attention and contemplation of what is happening

and idk apart from something like 1001 nights..... to an extend, i feel abt dune as i feel about game of thrones. i rly love those books. yes theyre writing by an old white man. yes there are parts of them (less than the show id say) which are problamatic and outdated and i could go on a whole list about that. but, i still enjoy them. i think the world grrm martin created is insanely insanelyyy complex, beautiful, fascinating, the lore is some of the deepest and most intriguing ive ever seen, and the character writing - the sheer complexity of the characters, the willingness to show how fucked up humans are and how often things are so stupidly complicated, the way he can get us to love even insufferable characters, the way there are no perfect good heros, the broader anti-war and even climate change message, the harsh and grounded realism of much of the series,,, the way theyre also kinda like magic realism, bc over the books magic keeps coming back more and more, the world becomes more full of mystic and mystery and prophecies which arent 100% true, the way the books are largely a subversion of fantasy tropes. like, yea. theyve got issues, grrm martins writings got issues. but i think theyre brilliant in many ways at the same time 🤷‍♀️

so i guess. yea. im definitely not saying the books dont have issues or theyre perfect or theyre the peak of literature. but im still able to enjoy parts of them

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] going by quaggyday's ask if that's ok to intercept- but tbh i agree with that perspective too!! like gosh if anything it's actually a really nice depiction when it comes to defining how xiao's karmic debt works in a realistic sense. cus like, to me in my dumb poopoo terms, that karma is the residual corrupted power from the dead gods yeah? and this comes from either those that are stronger than him or not. what lumine can or cannot get rid of with her purification abilities depends too, and even for her she doesnt know the extent that this unknown ability provides since the start (since it's pretty sudden but useful trait when treating dvalin)

there's plenty of interpretations and fics that get me a lil pressed that ppl wants his karmic debt to ~~disappear completely~~ for a happy end, when how i personally see things it doesnt need to be the case bc its all about his growth. not that xiao needs to be in constant suffering when he already is, still, but that highlights so much of the importance of his support system, the people who can guide him and help lessen the pain with whatever they can manage. and it doesnt have to center to lumine too, which is another common thing that gets me a lil icky in their stories that she's the only person who can save him (and other ppl with the purification ability, which i dont need to mention who).

putting a difference of whats inside karma, between the gods power and chronic pain as an effect is super good and is what i thought of too!! and true as heck that it's something xiao's body has been accustomed to and even if the corruption chips away bit by bit, it doesnt completely rid of whats already damaged and even then, healing comes so slow for an adeptus. especially if the source being dead gods of higher power. this is something his siblings couldnt overcome long enough in their lifespan, and what xiao is still trying to push back (or accept it, and in turn he suffers more of its effects). so like!!! it just makes sense this way imo

i love pondering of his karmic debt being a metaphor of chronic illness cus man is he fighting so hard for it, and the clock always ticks down for him faster than anyone, even as an immortal. which is sad as hell, and we all copiums together how to at least make it a lil easier for xiao yknow. explodes too

"when it comes to defining how xiao's karmic debt works in a realistic sense" real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god and with lumine not knowing the extent of her own ability,, and yeah no like. in my perfect world the karmic debt is very under control and no longer agonizing or life threatening but i dont think i could ever believe it going away Completely, and i think that if it DID vanish completely itd be a huge disservice to. everyone involved, xiao included. no he does not deserve to be in pain 24/7 but this is something hes willingly accepted and carried with him for so long, something he probably feels has shaped him, i just. idk itd feel so fucking Weird for it to just magically be completely gone ?? it does something and sends a message i cant figure out how to put into words, as opposed to being able to live with it and in spite of it and show that you dont need to be ""cured"" just to be able to exist and be content and supported and loved.

"the clock always ticks down for him faster than anyone, even as an immortal." IM GOING TO SOB THIS HITS SO HARD AND HURTS SO BAD GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD what if we exploded Together. what then.