#this is a monster of a post

[snonkerdoodlefizzy221b]

SPOILERS FOR MI8

The ending kinda felt...idk, off? Specifically, the very last scene where it shows Ethan walking into a crowd of people, taking in the fact that they're all still here and living their lives, and then one by one, Degas, Paris, Benji, and Grace show up. But none of them really go near each other. They all stay several feet away from each other, presumably taking in each other and their surroundings and the fact that humans are still out here connecting with each other. They give each other cryptic looks and then walk away -- all of them.

I'm not sure whether it was supposed to come off this way. But to me it felt like it was supposed to represent a breaking-apart of some sort, and signalled the beginning of a new chapter. To me, it felt like the film was saying "job's done, everybody is safe (mostly) and we can all go our own ways now." with no regard for the fact that they all nearly died and all completed a very dangerous mission together and therefore should have developed a very strong bond of some sort with each other. It could've been slightly okay for characters that we haven't known for very long like Degas, Paris, and Grace (although I feel like the bond they've all built with each other should be undeniable, except that's not what this scene is telling me). But for Benji and Ethan, who have known each other for 20 years, and who haven't seen each other for one veeeeery long and stressful week during which they both lost a dear friend and nearly died, and who have also both recently lost another dear friend, and have a very close bond with each other, and for Benji especially who has blossomed so much since Ethan first met him, to not take any moments to talk to each other further and instead simply opt to go their separate ways? That doesn't really make sense for them to me, but I may be biased because I will admit that hurt a lot.

You're telling me that none of them go up to each other and say a Congratulations or something or even just talk to each other for a moment outside the mission, implying that there isn't anything there outside of the mission? I was shocked when even Benji and Ethan didn't say a single word to each other or anything like that. I'm aware that nonverbal communication exists and I do know that Ethan and Benji are close enough emotionally to be able to read each other like that, but it still doesn't feel like enough.

I feel like they should've been sitting at a table, eating together, like in the ending of M:I4. Perhaps Paris would've been flicking pistachios at each other. Benji would be telling Ethan about the pen surgery and Ethan would be silently freaking out but also so proud at how much Benji has grown. Something like that would've shown that they all have a bond outside of the mission and that even if they do go their own separate ways in the end, they've still got each other to an extent. The canon ending made me feel like they were leaving each other behind. Like a divorce.

Or maybe I need a rewatch idk.

Also what the hell is up with this film and making me do in-depth analyses like this? I don't think I ever used to do this, it hurt my brain too much. And I also have the oddest insistent urge to write angsty fanfiction about this film.

About the ending again -- perhaps they all go back to IMF safehouses and end up breaking down because everything is not fine. Yes, the world has been saved from nukes thanks to their efforts. But in the downtime, it's time for Grace to accept that her life as a thief doesn't exist anymore and that the entirety of the rest of her life is devoted to the IMF now, and she can't run away or retire ever because we all know how well that goes -- it's physically impossible because she would be looking over her shoulder too much. It's time for Paris to come to terms with her life and perhaps whether she wants to take a new direction -- saving lives, like maybe with plants or animals, instead of taking them like she used to -- or go back to her old job (I don't remember whether she joined the IMF), not to mention that she also has to sort out her feelings about Gabriel because he probably had her thinking that he valued her as a person until she realized he absolutely didn't. It's time for Degas to sort through everything he has been through because it's very stressful and traumatizing. It's time for Ethan and Benji to come to terms with the death of two of their dearest friends, and for Ethan in particular to cope with Gabriel turning up again. And during all of this, they are all probably going to get new missions or things like that because the IMF never gives its agents any breaks. So they all are probably going to shove the trauma behind a mental dam and depend on being busy all the time so that they have no time to sit down, think, and process everything.

Benji will go back to where he was and it will be as if nothing has changed -- he's going to have his bucket by the bed in case he vomits from nightmares in the middle of the night (and he has some new ones to add to his usual list) and he's probably not going to hear from Ethan in a long time and will instead be consumed with a) being alone or b) being on duty.

Ethan will go back to his place (if he even has one -- or he will just couch hop until he gets another assignment) and he will struggle not to drown in his grief for Luther and Ilsa until he gets his next mission, and he desperately tries to stay busy because if he stays still everything will crash into him.

My point is, at this crossroads, Ethan and Benji need each other more than ever. And it is at this moment that they both turn away from each other.

Oh, and there's also obviously the tragedy of Ethan (and Benji) not being able to retire at all ever because it's his job to live and die in the shadows and it's his job to save the world. There may always be another Lane, but it is not up to another Ethan to save the world from him. It's the og Ethan, the one that tried his very best to have a normal life with Julia but ended up sending her into hiding instead (well, okay, that was the circumstances, but still, and she also found fulfillment), the one that rejected Ilsa's proposal to run away because he knows that they are never free (and she figures that out too), the Ethan whose job is to be of use until he dies. (I cannot for the life of me find the person who said this so if this looks familiar that is why. Sorry)

I need to stop making myself sad with this shit. I don't think I've ever asked for fic recs before but does anyone have some post-TFR Benthan fluff I can read? I also need to daydream up some scenarios where Ethan does get his happy ending.

[percyjacksonscookies]

dude imma say it

the percy jackson tv show sucks so bad

and I have a lot of time to think at work when im not busy with my little tasks so imma rant about it

because my little brain likes to look for connections i guess

anyway

IT SUCKS SOOOOOO BAAAAAAD HOLY

S H I T

its a giant mix of things because of where we are in time

every major piece of media is a huge reflection of the times we live in so uh

it makes sense that this would suck too like every single other piece of media disney has released in the past decadeish (it comes down to taste so if u like a Disney thing, whatever)

but like?!?!

because of the times we live in where writers had to strike for better wages and a semblance of recognition (i dont know the terms exactly) it makes sense that they gave ol' Ricky boy a shot at screen writing cause they didn't really have to take a chance with a new writer. cause u know disney! wherever there are corners to be cut they will! gotta think of the poor ol' bottom line!!

BUT ALSO RICK RIORDAN'S QUALITY IN WRITING WENT DOWN S O HARD AFTER HIS FIRST SERIES WITH PERCY

heroes of Olympus and trials of Apollo do not have the same flavor as the original series and I know plenty of people will agree with me

and thats cause ol' ricky boy (might call him uncle rick ironically cause I have a big family so its in character of me to have beef with an uncle plus like.... cmon its for the bit, an homage to my cringey younger self, and to help me avoid stupid autocorrect on my phone, it works on so many levels, if u must, cringe away) lost the fucking heart of the original series

lost the whole point and charm of the 1st series

it started out as a fucking bed time story for his son for fucks sake!!!!!! so obviously it was going to be a story built on so much love you could feel it in every word he carefully knit together for his son to feel less alone in the world

and thats why I looked up to him for so many years!!!!

he inspired me to start writing!!! so that maybe some day I could also write stories that helped people feel less alone

because the best fucking stories are the ones with the most heart and genuine emotions you feel like you could be there

but uncle rick fucking lost it because i think after the massive success of his first series he saw it as a way to make money for his family instead of a way to lovingly craft something for the sake of it just existing

yet another thing capitalism has taken from us

I have yet to read his other work, as an adult, because percy jackson is such a comfort book for me and I've obsessively done so much research on it I remember him doing an interview once where he said his students found his other works and they were teasing him about the cuss words in the book because of course they were he taught middle schoolers and that is where he is stronger than I

but thats also another thing

since I haven't read his other works, I dont know if they're going to speak to me like percy jackson has, but probably not from the looks of his other series (ive read all of heroes of Olympus and some of trials of Apollo but thats just cause I adore nico)

but I can definitely say for sure without a shadow of a doubt

dude

uncle rick is NOT a screen writer

he SUCKS at it so bad

he definitely doesn't know how to build suspense in film or write around the obstacles that come with live acting

which is embarrassing man

ive been there

did a senior directed play in high school, wrote the script myself

and it sucked pretty bad

because I was a story teller not a script writer!!!! I didnt know what the fuck i was doing!!!!! whenever I wanted a new character I would just invent one out of thin air, what do you mean I had to have an actor for every new character I have?!?!?!?!

soooo grateful i tried that for the first time in high school cause its not that embarrassing when u suck at something as a teenager cause hey!!! ur learning new shit everyday!!

but this ties back into my point of this show reflecting the times

I will say, I prefer the movie of percy jackson over this weird show

and thats cause it had charm! zest! a screenwriter and people that knew how to make movies!

were at such a weird place in cinema

at least in the mainstream american/western media

I saw everything everywhere all at once last year and it blew my tits clean off

but thats because it was made by people who wanted to make art for arts sake!!!! for the love of creation!!!!!

thats why those movies are so successful now

cause there's really no formula to follow anymore so anything that seems original and made with love is so fucking insanely successful and big corporations can't fucking replicate that without taking chances and letting people tell honest earnest stories

which is why every Disney villain sucks now cause they have to also secretly maybe sometimes be a good person

oh no the circumstances they were given made them a villain

hmmm I wonder who helped with the capitalism of it all?? hmmmm such a mystery

I know we all miss when villains were just evil for fun and that was it

like Ursula, they didn't explain shit about her backstory she was just a woman in a cave that had a reputation and had a sick as hell design and that was all people needed to like her (shout out to divine) (also I don't remember much about the little mermaid I am basing this off of vibes)

where was i going with this.....

anyways the pjo TV show sucks

let Rick Riordan cook longer as a screen writer or let him be a co author of the script my god he sucks at this

get an expert screen writer in there asap phew!!!

today's adhd rant has been brought to you by:

this thing

[tickfleato]

self-love/self-hate

[yeehawgeek]

i need everyone to see these panels from the monster high howilday haunt comic

edit: for everyone asking if this is real/where you can get it, yes it is real! i got mine at my local comic store

[wellfine]

Au fucking revoir Mister Prince

[fanaticalthings]

Jason Todd with his goons:

[specshroom]

Demon / imp friend who keeps pretending they can't control their tail⤵

Pretending to be bashful when it winds its way around your thigh or wraps around your waist.

"Oh! Sorry haha, this damn thing. Like it has a mind of it's own 😅"

You let it slide because you like them, until one day you see them not so discreetly catch a pencil with their tail and manoeuvre it expertly back into the pen holder on the desk it fell from.

You pretend not to notice, your sneaky suspicion now confirmed.

So the next time they're sitting next to you and their slinky tail starts winding around the fat of your thigh, you're so ready for it.

"You're doing it again."

They turn away from what they were pretending to focus on, act all bashful and start apologising,

"Oh shit, I'm sorry."

Before your demonic friend can retreat, you cross your legs, effectively trapping their coiled tail between your warm thighs.

"It's alright, I don't mind."

You say dismissively, as you lightly stroke the arrow shaped point at the end of the tail with your thumbs.

You feel them shiver and look up to see them practically panting, staring down at you with heart shaped eyes and hot cheeks.

⛧𖤍⛧

[shyaringan]

time travel fix-it but make it Spooky (based on my monster!jon post)

[leaslichoma]

Apparently in China peach wood (Along with the rest of the plant) is believed to have properties that repel evil spirits, a little similar to silver in European legends or iron for both European fae and West Asian/Middle eastern Jinn. Taoists sometimes keep swords made of peach wood because of this. This made me realize something. If you took a peach wood stick, and attached studs to it of both silver and iron you'd end up with a club or staff (or mace, flail etc.) that would have the weaknesses of many kinds of supernatural creatures while still retaining effectiveness as a normal weapon (peach is a hardwood and silver's poor edge retention doesn't matter for studs). You could even keep adding new stud materials to get something ridiculous that affects over 120 catalogued folkloric monsters. Since you just need a few little studs you could even get some really expensive materials like meteoric iron (a thumb tip sized meteorite can still cost like 10-20 bucks I think). I could somewhat feasibly make a weapon that affects every monster ever thought to walk the earth, from vampires and werewolves to jinn and jiangshi and even mankind.

[stjohnstarling]

To truly, successfully eroticize the monstrous you must be brave enough to make the object in question actually ugly. At the heart of the fantasy is a person whose very form is so profoundly unacceptable that there is significant social stigma attendant upon finding them attractive - a person who feels deeply their own repulsiveness, who expects universal rejection for their appearance - and, crucially, another person who treats them as if they are beautiful.

For this to be effective, the monstrous character can't just be plain - they have to be wildly, fascinatingly unacceptable - prodigiously, fantastically, sublimely ugly. If you're anxious about the character not being hot you'll never pull it off because the entire fantasy is about not being afraid.

[wethades]

Me when monsters.

[willofasherah]

seeing everyone just mindlessly sign up for threads despite all the clear warning signs feels like I’m living in Sailor Moon or a magical girl anime episode where the Monster of the Day just set up shop over night and their product is literally draining your lifeforce for the Dark Kingdom but people keep going there

[nonebinary-leftbeef]

DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one

[monstersflashlight]

Monster boyfriend who would whine until you flash him your boobs. He's sad? Nah, he just wants to see your boobs. He's enjoying a snack but feels bored? He def wants to see your boobs... He's just a bit obsessed with you and how good your boobs look when he grabs them with his too big hands. How pretty your nipples look when he runs his claws over them until they are hard peaks and he can flick them until *you* are the one whining.

[demigods-posts]

headcanon that percy stays ready to clock the minotaur. this man would pause his lunch break to give this bull it's horn a third time. this man would dehydrate for two days if it meant he could murk this bull at the end of it. this man's beef with this walking beef is so grandeur. it was the first monster he killed the moment the battle of mamhattan began. this is one of percy's consistent bloodlust moments and no one will ever fault him for it.