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tigreblvnc · 2 months ago

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BLUE LOCK MATCHUP — @anglefish3008

Your match is...

— Bachira Meguru

✦ Coco, you remind me of a disco ball.

✦ The kind that spins, spins endlessly, loves to party but only lights up at certain hours — at night.

✦ And I know the one who will dance with you at any hour of the day and night, whether you shine brightly or need to rest.

✦ 🐝🐝🐝

✦ Your likes section screams Bachira so loudly that I had no one else in mind :)

✦ What’s funny is that both of you radiate a very sunny energy on the outside. There’s a lot of liveliness in the way you carry yourselves, in your words. People sometimes tell you that you talk too much… That you think of too many random things with no connection…

✦ In this world, where most people can’t keep up with your creativity, it must’ve felt so refreshing to have found each other in the middle of this jungle we call society.

✦ Like, you saw each other, locked eyes… And you just knew.

✦ There are some connections that don’t need to be confirmed with words; they happen through the gaze alone. That little thing that turns two strangers into two best friends.

✦ You’re typically the kind of duo that people would think have known each other for ten years, even though you just met two hours ago.

✦ I also sense a lot of anxiety and uncertainty behind your sunny façades; it’s an aspect where you find common ground.

✦ "People tell me they can’t imagine me ever getting angry at someone or something." I can’t imagine Bachira falling into a similar state either. And in fact, I can’t remember it happening even once in the manga — it’s more about the fear of being abandoned rather than anger towards someone. Moreover, I think Bachira is more likely to direct anger towards himself than others.

✦ "It’s the best feeling to make someone smile or laugh in my opinion, it’s what I strive for!" This reminded me of the times when Isagi gets down because he can’t figure out a complicated situation. Bachira is often the one who comforts him, even indirectly, lighting up his mind and giving him the faith to rise again. Like you, Bachira is a little living, pocket-sized sun, fluttering from one place to another.

✦ Your endless source of optimism :)

✦ "He thinks his strong point is being optimistic and being able to have fun in any situation. He thinks his weak point is not worrying about things enough." Do I need to add more?

✦ The fact that you dance… I can only imagine Bachira LOVING it. Like, seriously, I see him doing breakdancing or hip-hop, street-style dancing.

✦ "LOVE CHILDREN AND IM AWESOME WITH THEM!!" Honestly, Bachira is still very much the child he was, who learned to survive school by playing football.

✦ "It’s yellow, I had to buy it." “Coco, that was 30 dollars.” “IT’S YELLOW I HAD TO BUY IT.” It’s my favorite color, and I’ve been told the color reminds people of me." ….. :D Need I explain?

✦ The connection with art is also obvious, and even though I don’t see Bachira spending a lot of time drawing like his mother, he certainly has the mindset. He’s very creative, free, original, loves doing things his own way, and follows his intuition. I think when he encounters someone who is sensitive to art, it’s already a sign to him that something good can happen.

✦ "My favorite animals are cats and orcas/any whale or dolphin." I think I’ve read the wiki of the entire Blue Lock cast at least once, and there are always a few elements that stick with me because they come a bit out of nowhere. The fact that the dolphin is also Bachira’s favorite animal…

✦ "We love to play video games and cry together when it has a sad ending." I’ve noted that Bachira is one of the few characters who openly admits to crying regularly. To me, this implies that he is very in touch with his emotions and doesn’t try to hold back. When it needs to come out, it comes out. His openness about his emotions makes him communicative, transparent, and truly honest.

✦ Your gray eyes… A passion for him.

✦ I quote: "He has a fetish for eyes. He thinks that they are where you can see a person’s heart the clearest."

✦ The fact that you share many common points gives you the advantage of knowing how to handle the other during moments of hesitation, discomfort, fear, or sadness. I see you as people who need emotional comfort rather than cold, logical solutions. You’re on the same wavelength in this regard.

✦ I see Bachira as a kind of little brother to you. I get that you have a very "best friends" relationship with yours, and I feel that’s the type of bond you have with Bachira. A strong and unbreakable connection.

✦ "Don’t know if you play Splatoon, but all Splatoon music is my favorite genre." I know the concept of this game, and I think it really fits Bachira’s aesthetic — very colorful, nervous, and fast-paced. This type of music suits him because it reflects his style of play.

✦ "Bullies are the worst."

✦ "Don’t really have a huge preference. I like all of them! Whatever way you like to express affection I will EAT UP." Bachira’s primary love language is physical contact, but I think it’s something he easily gives to anyone he feels comfortable with. We can also add quality time, as shown whenever he stays close to Isagi to give him a boost. On his end, he’s very much in need of words of affirmation! He’s a big baby who needs reassurance when he thinks his skills aren’t enough or when he’s stuck. It was even the absence of comfort that led him to a big down on the field during his match against Isagi.

✦ "My wallet is empty purely because I love giving anything and everything to the people I like." Hmm, can we talk about this detail in Bachira’s info… "He likes when he is given gifts, no matter what they are."

✦ And I keep saying this, but on a more astrological note, fire signs, in theory, tend to get along well because they adopt and understand a similar dynamic. Typically, Sagittarius for you and Leo for Bachira; this leads to an explosive, energetic relationship between two profiles who love to travel, try new things, laugh, have fun, and push themselves.

✦ OVERALL: you’re a bonfire in the hearts of your friends <3 even people who don’t know you well find you endearing, even if they think you’re a little weird. They might quietly whisper about your parents' presence in your upbringing but end up saying it doesn’t matter because, after all, you’re both radiant today.

✦ Bachira doesn’t read much, but he likes books with pictures. It’s more explicit, more alive for him. While you read sports manga indoors during the summer, he’s outside, living out everything you read through the pages. Your shonen in real time, visible from your window. And it’s funny, but that’s how you predict events happening to him.

✦ Summer being his favorite season, it’s the only real time of the year where everything opposes you. He prefers to exhaust himself under the summer sun, training his dribbles, making trips across the city to beat his record and improve his performance while you lay on the cool tiles, enjoying the chill indoors.

✦ When he comes back, he’s completely drained but with a huge, grand smile on his face because he had fun, and he plans to do it again the next day.

✦ Totally the annoying type who never closes the windows and lets everyone get eaten alive by mosquitoes.

✦ At the same time, he can never sleep when it’s that hot, so he watches movies with you. Lots of movies. And crying over sad films gives him the feeling of being less hot.

✦ Probably a soft heart when it comes to Titanic.

✦ And very sensitive to Dumbo, whose difficult situation reminds him of his own childhood. He always ends up in tears within the first few minutes of the film; it hurts so much.

✦ At the same time, you understand, and you don’t judge at all; you comfort him by taking him into your arms, letting him collapse onto your lap, even if it leads to an impromptu nap.

✦ But tomorrow is a new day, and that day belongs to football. For you, to dance.

✦ As you spend more time together, you start to pick up on each other’s athletic abilities. He begins to pull off crazy tricks on the field, inspired by your movements in the studio, while you become more and more creative and skillful with your legs, having followed Bachira’s training sessions.

✦ At some point, no one will be surprised to see him casually replace you during one of your sessions.

✦ I also think he gets along very well with children, and probably many of them adore him when he comes to see you at ballet. He’s the one around whom all the kids gather, and you always find Bachira with five kids clinging to him in all sorts of ways — on his back, his shoulders, and his legs.

✦ If he plays video games, it’s probably the ones where you have to move a lot physically, like Just Dance. All this to a pop-rock background while you coach him through the steps.

✦ Visit to the giant aquarium to watch the orcas and feed the dolphins…

✦ ^ His dream date.

✦ He spends the entire afternoon with his face pressed against the glass, watching the schools of fish. Curiously, Bachira is very quiet, so focused on the ever-moving display.

✦ When he speaks, it's to call you over and ask, "What's this species called? And that one? And that? And the one over there? Why is it doing that? Can it come up to the surface? How long can it stay underwater? Does it sleep with its eyes open?"

✦ You and him never leave this place.

"Coco?"

Bachira sticks his head through the doorframe but finds no one. He doesn’t hear anything either.

In his arms, he holds a box with a closed lid. Something seems to be moving inside.

"Coco, are you there?"

Usually, you're always here in the summer. You don’t like going outside, so… It’s easy for the bee to find you. But not today. Weird. Where have you gone?

Still holding the box, Bachira heads upstairs. He walks past the bathroom and stops in front of your bedroom door. He knocks and waits. But nothing. One minute, two minutes… Time stretches, and Bachira leans in to skillfully open the door with his elbow without dropping his package.

"Coco, it’s me."

Your silhouette appears, seated at your desk. Bachira walks up behind you, smiling when he realizes your headphones are blocking out all sound. He props the box on his left arm and gently pulls your headphones back, freeing your ears.

"Surpriiiiiiise!" "Bachi!" "I called you, but you didn’t hear me, so I let myself in. What are you up to?" "I’m listening to a new album that just came out, it’s pop, you might like it." "Probably! Hey, I need to ask you something." "What?" "I was on my way back, and right after the bakery, I found this."

He places the box in front of you. Intrigued, you spin your chair around and open the box, revealing three little furballs.

"Oh no… Kittens…!" "I looked for their mom, but they were all alone, and it was really hot outside. I didn’t know what to do, but I know you like taking care of them." "We need to call the vet. Can you get a towel? We’ll find them a cozy spot in my brother’s room."

He wasn’t home for the weekend, and until a more permanent solution could be found for the little ones, his room would become a refuge for the three little angels.

"Don’t worry, I got it. You think they’re hungry?" "Hard to say, but they don’t look too skinny. Alright, I’m heading downstairs; I’ll be right back."

While you go to the kitchen to grab what’s needed, Bachira sets up a makeshift home for the litter, their tiny paws twitching in the air. When you return with the supplies, Bachira is crouched down, watching the tiny felines, looking fascinated.

"So, how do they seem?" You ask. "I think they’re alright. The two small ones won’t stop fighting. The third one is still sleeping." "That’s pretty strange, though. You said they were abandoned near the bakery?" "Yeah. I didn’t see anyone around." "I bet they haven’t been there long; otherwise, someone else would have picked them up. Their abandonment is probably very recent. Did you check if they were hurt?" "The two seem fine, but I’m not sure about the one that’s sleeping. We’ll need to check the other side of its body. Did you call the vet?" "No, I’m about to. Can you keep an eye on them for me?" "Got it."

And while you were dialing the number, Bachira leaned in a little closer to the lively trio.

These weren’t the first orphaned cats to end up at your place, and likely not the last. Bachira looked over at you and smiled, whispering.

"What you do for them is really amazing, Coco."

A word about your match: A bee and a disco ball dancing under the sun :) By the way, I looked at your blog at the end of the matchup and: Did I meet a fellow Frenchie? :D

#bachira x reader #bachira meguru x reader #blue lock bachira #meguru bachira #bachira meguru #suo matchups #bllk #blue lock #blue lock matchups #bllk bachira

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joontier · 3 years ago

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Subliminal in Scrubs | V2; report xii

pairings: dr. jeon jungkook x female reader

chapter rating: PG-15 | genre: humor, workplace relationships

warnings: none to note

word count: 2.6k

g/n: jungkook is a brat wbk; also,,, hoseok here is supposedly as old as seokjin heh i had an internal debate whether or not i should include two other scenes but aslkdfjkasljfas but i ended up with this instead skjff hope yall enjoy!!

[taglist]: @nottodayjjk @ditttiii @zeharilisharaban @btsbunny07 @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @aamxxrii @codeinebelle @btsmakesmehappy @stargukkie @moonchild1

Subliminal in Scrubs (the records) | navi. | m.list

The orientation went by like a breeze with Ms. Narae’s quick run throughs of Woocheon’s clinical processes and systems, training programs, hospital expectations, and the explanation of the rest of the map of the hospital you weren’t able to cover during your tour earlier. Before she wraps up, she retrieves your IDs from underneath the table and places them on top of the desk for everyone to get later. She dismisses the orientation exactly ten minutes before twelve, requesting everyone to head straight to their department’s on-call room after the break.

Soomin, who you’ve recently discovered to have her own Youtube channel, takes out her phone and records a video. You watch from the side as Soomin does her thing, until she tries to call you all over and officially introduce you as good friends turned work colleagues to all her subscribers.

You hadn’t really expected this whole vlogger thing from her, especially when Soomin was a bit reserved when you were first acquainted with each other, but then again, as your friendship grew, you realized that she had a bit of Chohee in her as well and you thought that’s what caused you to gravitate towards her naturally.

“Anybody up for lunch?” Soomin asks, rubbing her hands together after she finishes her short recording and tucks her phone back in her pocket. “Yeah, I’m starving...” you murmur, placing a hand on your belly as you hear your stomach grumble its complaint.

“I heard Woocheon is known to have the best hospital food in Korea. Ever.” Jungkook says, looking around. You’re starting to get skeptical about how Jungkook is lingering around Jimin...Or was it the other way around now? “Shall we?” With Jungkook’s undeniable proposition, Soomin briefly glances at your reluctant face, her own lips pursing with your reaction. “Fine,” you sigh.

There’s no getting rid of Jungkook now.

Woocheon’s cafeteria...does not look like a cafeteria at all.

You weren’t expecting an...urban haven of some sort, a portion of the hospital that you had least envisioned to what seems to be the warmest part of Woocheon. The laminated flooring, faux wooden grain wall panels, along with the suspended lights from this wave-like uneven wooden ceiling - it was as picturesque as a spread on an interior design magazine.

The interior could easily outrival any other kitchen in the city. “Are you sure this is not some hotel we just walked into?” Jimin questions as he marvels over the sleek urban design of the cafeteria. There’s even a café - which you recognize holds the same logo as Good Day café. You ought to confirm this with Jimin later.

As you near the serving area, the unmistakable aroma of roast beef fills your senses, making you hungrier than you were just seconds before. “Please don’t tell me Woocheon is actually serving roast beef...”

You practically salivate at the sight of the food in the counters, a lot of which you realized were influenced by western food culture. There were three different kinds of salad to choose from, baked potatoes, burgers, seafood stew, stir-fried meat, as well as the Korean classic side dishes that you’d never miss in a meal. And, true to your trusty sense of smell, roast beef was at the end of the line up in all its roasted glory.

“Yeap,” Soomin says as she turns to face you, “You have three options for the sauce too: mushroom gravy, pepper sauce, or truffle sauce,” Soomin replies matter-of-factly, pointing at the farther end of the food counter.

“Oh I love this place already!” Exclaims Jimin who’s undecided between eating to his heart’s content and risking a stomachache on the first day of work, or sacrifice half of the dishes for a later time in your stay at Woocheon. Thankfully, Jimin decides on the former.

“Make sure you have your IDs ready,” Jungkook announces as he joins the line after you. “You’ll have to tap it against this tiny device then they will automatically deduct the total amount of the food you got from your account.”

Jimin’s face falls instantly at the realization. Jungkook claps the other man’s back, face crumpled as he keeps his laughter in. “Still love this place, Jimin-ssi? Don’t worry now, the three of us can pretend we didn’t hear anything at all.”

With features forlorn, Soomin makes a hilarious attempt to appease Jimin’s disappointment by stating facts - “Jimin-ah. Hospital food isn’t free.”

“Yeah. I realize that now,” Jimin replies, an ingenuine smile playing on his lips.

“Cheer up though! Ms. Narae did mention faculty and staff get a five percent discount on all hospital services...just so happened that they included the cafeteria there as well.”

Albeit reluctant about the price, Soomin manages to convince your entire group to try out the roast beef for once (and probably your last too. Figures.) “Oh, and by the way, there is one thing that’s free actually. It’s the drink of the day - free for all staff. One each, and available during lunch only.”

Your eyes travel to the end of the counter straight away at Soomin’s reminder. Calculating the number of cartons left and the people left in the queue, you’re beyond pleased at the fact that you’ll be able to get a free 250ML carton of banana milk today, and also the last person to do so.

Unfortunately for you, a staff member returns to the counter and retrieves a tetra pack, claiming it was for a senior doctor who forgot to claim the drink. Much to your dismay, a middle-aged man in a white coat was waving to the counter, with his other hand pointing to his tray to prove that he really wasn’t able to take any milk with him. You can’t hide the scowl that creeps on your face.

Through your peripheral vision, you notice Jungkook closely monitoring the milk as well, the same look of disappointment evident on his face. Maybe losing the milk wasn’t that bad. After all, if you couldn’t one, Jungkook wouldn’t be able to score one either.

While Jimin checks out his food, one of the kitchen staff suddenly retrieves another carton from the other side of the counter, mumbling about how it must’ve fallen over earlier. You were just about to grab it when the lady at the till calls you next, and you’re forced to move your tray sideward so she can calculate the total amount of your order.

When you look up to grab your free drink, Jungkook reaches out at the same time and manages to snatch the milk quicker than you. “Hey!” Jungkook simply shrugs his shoulders at your indignant tone. “Sorry darling, finders keepers.”

You stare at him in disbelief, until the lady calls for Jungkook next, a little too loud for your liking. Your eyeroll comes almost involuntarily, and you shake your head as you follow where Jimin and Soomin were headed to as they look for a seat.

Jungkook arrives shortly after you do, so you immediately lose the chance to rant about your annoyance towards the latter. He decides to sit across you and you don’t have the chance to complain about it either when he sticks the straw in his milk while he smirks at you.

What an actual kid.

You promised yourself you won’t let him get to you, choosing inner peace over fighting with a brat. Besides, two can play at this game, and it’s going to take more than a small carton of milk for him to truly vex you, so you simply smile at him back, returning the favor (of course, while secretly wishing he might choke on his banana milk too).

“Would you guys mind if I recorded a little bit?” Murmurs of agreement are heard across the table. “Alrightey then,” says Soomin, “This time, none of you boys will be able to escape the camera this time around.” Just as you’d expected, Jimin and Jungkook whine in chorus, vocally expressing their petulance towards Soomin’s ‘vloggering’.

“Hey! For all you know, you two might even bring more subscribers when I put you two as my thumbnail!”

“I’m shy…” Jimin argues as he poorly covers his face with his small ID, yet continues to peek through the small gap between the card and the lanyard.

Soomin rolls her eyes at their childishness and records her food first, praising how surprisingly appetizing the hospital food is. She proceeds to pan the camera towards you as you say hi for the second time today. As Soomin moves onto Jimin, he instantly puts his ID down and waves at the camera sporting a cute smile. “Everyone, this is what ‘camera shy’ looks like nowadays.”

On the other hand, Jungkook, shameless as ever, pretends to not pay any regard to the camera but he decides to chew on his food with much suave, jaw tightening with every bite of the beef. Soomin calls on Jungkook to say hi, to which he responds by introducing himself and punctuating his statement with a flirty wink.

For some reason, you feel your stomach drop at the action, causing you to look away momentarily while Soomin instantaneously switches back to her front camera, “Okay, everyone, let’s just pretend these two weren’t flirting with the camera just now.” Soomin shakes her head at the two, deciding that was enough content about lunch at the hospital cafeteria.

“Shame the camera couldn’t handle it,” Jimin says, pouting as he places a hand over his chest.

“Maybe it was the lady behind the camera that couldn’t,” adds Jungkook who continues to wink, alternating both his eyes before making a weird face.

“Okay Jeon. I think that’s enough winking for today.”

Jungkook wouldn’t stop though and Soomin finally looks at you for help, “Diagnosis: winkitis, ophthalmologist recommends immediate enucleation.”

“Of course! How could I forget? A wink for this young lady over here too.” Jungkook turns to you now but you simply squint your eyes at him as you fake choking on thin air, “I think I might have lost my appetite altogether.”

As the three of you head back to the locker rooms to retrieve your stuff before going to the surgery department, another hospital staff stops briefly on their way to greet Soomin. It’s the third time in ten minutes and you’re starting to think Soomin knows not just ‘someone’ from the hospital. Strangely enough, they all seemed like they came from different departments too. This particular person must be of high authority or someone really famous to have people greet her as often as this.

When you round the corner, at the end of the corridor is a lady in formal attire, sporting the same ID as yours and it’s Soomin who approaches this person this time. As she pulls the person aside, she urges the three of you to go ahead, telling you she’ll catch up in a moment, leaving you sandwiched between Jimin and Jungkook who tower over you easily.

“Jimin, do you happen to know who it is exactly she knows here?”

The blond shakes his head no. “She’s never mentioned anybody in particular...all I know too is that she knows somebody here.”

“Some relatives perhaps? Maybe she’s a family member of a renowned doctor here?”

“How about her Youtube channel? Maybe she’s famous then? How many followers does she have?”

You quickly tap on Youtube on your phone with Jungkook’s prodding, looking up her channel on the app. “It says here she’s got quite the following actually... “ you tilt the screen for them to see, “six thousand followers…”

“That can’t be it. The second one who greeted her was at least in his mid-fifties...Boomers couldn’t have possibly been following...what does she vlog about again? Um… a day in the life of a med student…”

From behind you, you faintly hear a ‘goodbye’ and you clear your throat, alerting the two of Soomin’s return. “What were you guys going on about here?”

Jungkook chuckles, smoothly making up an alibi as he takes your phone in his hands, “Hope you don’t mind us checking out your channel…” Surely enough, your screen was showing a video of Soomin studying for her finals.

“As long as you subscribe, it’s fine with me.” She gives you all a thumbs up. “It’s been a while since I posted anything though...Maybe if we get to the on-call room early, maybe I could film a few shots too! Come on!” Soomin hooks your arm in hers and drags you to the locker rooms, leaving the two boys standing there in the middle of the hallway.

You figure the four of you were the first interns to arrive, as most of the doctors lounging around were either in their scrubs or heading out for lunch. “Soomin,” Jungkook seemingly deep in thought, taps the girl’s shoulder.

“Hmm?”

“Remember when you bumped into me on the day of our graduation...you were with someone right? Um...Jung...Ho...I can’t quite remember his name…”

“Oh you mean Jung Hoseok? He’s my cousin.”

As Jungkook opens his mouth to reply, someone calls Soomin from the other side of the room. “Soomin! You’re here!” You spot the surgeons you’ve met during the hospital tour earlier this morning - Dr. Min Yoongi, Dr. Kim Seokjin, and Dr. Kim Namjoon. You all bow promptly as soon as they stand up.

“I didn’t really have that much of a choice,” Soomin grumbles as she gets squished with each of the doctors’ hugs. “Come on! You’re saying that as if Woocheon isn’t any good at all!”

The three of you stand awkwardly in the corner while Soomin and the other doctors mingle with each other. You nudge Jungkook’s elbow, “Hey what’s with Soomin’s cous--?”

“Oh right! These are my friends - ________, Park Jimin, and Jeon Jungkook. We’re all under your care now.” The three doctors call you over, extending their arms out for a handshake, “Ready to lose your social life?” Dr. Min asks, his bright tone contrasting his drift.

“It’s an honor to meet you Dr. Min, Dr. Kim, and Dr. Kim.” You bow curtly. “Oh doctor? It's too much! Call us sunbae instead. Oppa is cool too when we’re not working.” Dr. Seokjin’s handshake lingers a little longer than usual and you feel your cheeks start to heat up. “Besides, I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time.”

Yoongi visibly grimaces at Seokjin’s words, while Namjoon covers his face with his hands, mumbling, “Hyung.... For the love of god, please make sure the patients never ever hear that…”

Namjoon’s reaction elicits laughter from the whole group, but someone’s laugh stands out above all and it’s coming from the other side of the door. Soomin seems to recognize the voice instantly. “He’s here!”

“Soooommmiiiiiinnn!!!” A loud voice echoes throughout the room. He hugs Soomin briefly, and addresses the rest of you. “Wassup bros?” The newcomer gives each of the surgeons a dap in greeting then turns to greet you three.

“The whole gang's here!” He says, rubbing his chin, “Let me guess...Jeon Jungkook, _________, and Park Jimin, right?”

Eyes wide in surprise, you nod slowly. “Soomin here has told me all about you!” Soomin is behind the man, drawing a hand across her throat. “My name’s Jung Hoseok, by the way. Nice to finally meet you all.”

“He’s the next chairman of the Woocheon Medical City,” Seokjin whispers as he winks in your direction. Hoseok elbows him in the ribs. “No I’m not.”

“Ah yes. Correction. Not yet.” Seokjin mumbles, massaging his sides. You, Jimin, and Jungkook look at each other with knowing gazes. So that’s the ‘someone’ Soomin knows.

Woocheon ought to be...interesting.

#jungkook x reader #btswritingcafe #bangtanarmynet #btsghostie #jeon jungkook #bts aus #bts fic #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #doctors au

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jesswritesthat · 4 years ago

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omg hi i know this request sounds a bit hefty but hear me out: you’ve got y/n, and you’ve got her twin. they’re both exchange students but their school somehow messed up the application or there wasn’t enough space in one school whatever, so one of them ends up in nekoma and the other in shiratorizawa. then, they each decide to be the managers of that school’s respective teams. and then when training camp comes up, they finally meet each other again and are happy to be together but the rest of the teams are SHOOK (including their own maybe 👀👀) bc they didn’t tell their teams they had a twin. bonus points, inarizaki is there and the miya twins try to flirt w them (ships are up to you bc tbh anything sounds fun asf, idk i’ve had this idea in my head for so long IM AN ONLY CHILD I DONT EVEN HAVE A TWIN FKDKSKSKS) idk if you wanna just do headcannons go for it babes it’s a lot i know lmaooo

This is genius!! Omg, I’m not a twin either but I’m VIBING with this idea — I did headcanons because there was so muuchhh. I hope you like 💕

(T/n) = twins (first) name

>>>>—————————>

(L/n) Twins going to seperate schools and reuniting during a Shiratorizawa vs Nekoma practice match and Nationals:

• Due to unfortunate circumstances, (L/n) (T/n) had gotten into Shiratorizawa however, her twin sister (L/n) (Y/n) had to attend another school - luckily Nekoma had last minute vacancies.

• You stayed in Tokyo whilst your twin lived in the Shiratorizawa Dorms, it made seeing each other tricky but you always had video chats and since you were identical, it was easy to sneak into the dorms and stay for the weekend.

• You both loved Volleyball and had looked into your respective teams, (T/n) having the more famous one begrudgingly but being siblings... things got competitive.

“I’m going to become the manager of Shiratorizawa and I’m gonna take them to Nationals~” Was your twins cheery statement, whilst you playfully taunted her.

“Hah, more like they’ll take you, if I join Nekoma I’ll actually be useful.”

“No way - I’m a better manager than you (Y/n)!”

“Oh yeah?! Bring it on (T/n)! I’ll see you at Nationals - if you make it!” Thus, the challenge had begun.

• Nekoma and yourself had bonded, you’d heard the same about (T/n) and Shiratorizawa, it was like fate had gifted you your perfect matches in the end. Even if it meant being separated.

• It was around your second year with them that you’d heard about Karasuno, the once- upon-a-time rivals of Nekoma and how they’d organised a practice game with them over in Miyagi.

• You’d be playing other teams in the district to make it more beneficial... which is where your scheming came in.

“Hey, Tetsurō Senpai...”

“What do you want, you’re only ever so cute when you want something from me.”

“That’s not true! (Y/n)-chan is cute all of the time!” Yamamoto playfully punched his Captains shoulder, the latter reluctantly agreeing with a flush before clearing his throat and gesturing for you to continue.

“Think we could play Shiratorizawa whilst we’re over in Miyagi?”

“I’ll talk to Coach Nekomata and see what I can do, no promises though (Y/n).” Kuroo would do his best, you knew he tried for those he cared about, especially his team.

• It was no surprise then, that within 3 days you’d received a call from your twin.

“You’re coming to challenge me and my team (Y/n)?” The excitement in her voice, as well as that in yours was clear.

“You can thank Kuroo for that — you’ll finally get to meet my team!”

“And you mine! Tendō and Ushijima are incredible, I love them.” You’d spoken of respective players, shared stories and felt like you already knew part of each other’s teams despite never meeting them.

“Yes! I can’t wait - Lev isn’t coming with us, but Kenma and Yaku more than make up for it!”

“Lev is that first year you told me about right? I hope you’re ready to lose (Y/n), Goshiki is talented as hell.”

“And Nekoma is a unified machine, you’ll need a tissue to wipe away your loser tears~”

—

• Fast forward to the training trip, and the second you walk into Shiratorizawa you and your twin immediately rush over to each other, a collision of hugs, screams and excited conversation exchanged amidst the suddenly silent room.

• Tendō is the one to separate you both, guiding you to stand side by side as he leans in to inspect you both with a finger on his chin.

“Well well well, seems our Chibi-chan has a Chibi-chan 2.0~”

Ushijima doesn’t seem all that phased by the phenomenon, meanwhile Shirabu had to restrain the awed interrogation of Goshiki.

• Nekoma weren’t quite as calm, immediately Tendō hopped out of the way as Yamamoto tackled you, gawking between you and (T/n) whilst Inuoka attempted to null his yells.

“(Y/n)?! THERES TWO OF YOU?! DOUBLE THE BEAUTY!”

“Aw he’s cute, my team are never so nice to me.” (T/n) tutted, a subtle glare sent to Shiratorizawa - Satori being the one to stick his tongue out.

“Trust me, Yamamoto is the only one.” Cue your mirroring glare sent to a scheming Kuroo, whilst Nekomas Ace is still gushing over the two of you.

• The teams are moderately amused once the game starts as the main smack-talkers are you and (T/n) hollering over the court as you’d reached the Third Set at a tie. Friendships between both teams were formed due to your family relations.

• It’s not until the game is over and the Captains shake hands whilst you two hug it out with congratulatory words and playful insults that they start messing around again.

“C’mon (Y/n), we’ve gotta go~” Kuroo smugly states, purposefully slinging an arm around (T/n)s’ shoulders and guiding her out.

Before you had the chance to retaliate, Tendō gladly joined in.

“The Cat Captain is right, I’ve missed my little kitten anyway~” The redhead cheerfully gave you a high ten, intertwining your fingers in the process adding intimacy and offered a mischievous wink which you only laugh at.

• Nekoma are freaking out, that’s their manager and they’d know if you had a boyfriend, right? Yaku and Kai are quick to hold back Yamamoto with Kuroo suddenly sweeping you away from Satori since Ushijima had already reclaimed (T/n).

“That’s our kitten- ah manager.”

“And (T/n) is ours, but I look forward to seeing you at Nationals Nekoma.” The Captains bid one another farewell and you can only hope to play your twins’ team again.

—

• Shiratorizawa didn’t make it to Nationals (since Karasuno beat them) but (T/n) wanted to come and support you (bitterly). Ushijima came with her too since he’s the Captain and wanted to keep you two out of trouble. Plus he loves Volleyball.

• It’s when you’re checking the matchups do you encounter your beloved rivals, whilst Nekoma were distracted you went to scope out the area. ‘Luckily’ for you, you bumped into other competitors, the blonde ‘accidentally’ tripping.

“Woah, are you okay-“ Before you could finish, he’d interrupted all suave.

“Yeah, I just fell for ya that’s all~“

“-send me a postcard next time~”

There was a moment of silence, you impressed by the smoothness and him awed by the sheer sarcasm.

• The boy introduced himself as Miya Atsumu, Inaruzakis Setter and took note of your Nekoma jacket, asking you to watch him play if you got the chance. Especially if you become opponents.

• Bidding farewell, you found (T/n) with a bright smile upon her face, Onigiri in hand.

“The games haven’t even started and you’re eating.” Was your bemused observation, your twin scoffing with an innocent pout.

“I was hungry, and this cute player from Inarizki recommended the teriyaki Onigiri here so I brought some, wanna try?” (T/n) justified, showing the item to you.

“I met an Inarizaki player too, and I’m too nervous to eat but thanks (T/n).”

“Suit yourself, good luck and I’ll look for you later.” She rejoined Ushijima, the pair waving as you met up with Nekoma.

• It isn’t until after the first round beating Kiyokawa High School, before the Karasuno vs Inarizaki game that you’d encounter the Miyas again — or rather Atsumu approached (T/n).

“Yer scoping out the competition huh gorgeous? I don’t blame ya (L/n), ‘Samu and I are the best of the best.” The blonde proudly told (T/n), thinking you’d shed your Nekoma jacket to be inconspicuous.

“I— I don’t even know you? Wait, how do you know my name?!”

• Osamu meets the pair, and actually thinks it through, Atsumu on the other hand jumps to conclusions.

“We just saw eac-“ Hearing (T/n), Atsumu was quick to argue but Osamu kicked his calve.

“Shut it dumbass.”

“Hey, loser twin!” You called over, gaining the attention of her and the Miya Twins.

“Ah... ‘Samu there’s two of them...”

“That’s what I was gonna tell ya.”

• It must’ve been a twin instinct (twinstinct hehe) but yourself and Osamu could tell the individual differences/quirks immediately, hence how he’d figured it out so quickly. A mutual smile was shared as your respective twins continued their petty insults.

• “(T/n)! Ushijima is looking for you and I need to find Kuroo so...”

“Oh, yer boyfriends?”

“Uh - aha -no no, our Captains.” Your twin managed, flustered and embarrassed - you were glad she’d spoken because you were no better with the heat on your skin.

“Perfect, tell your Captains’ that we’re not sorry for keeping you~” Atsumu shouted as you both waved goodbye and headed back to the stands/courts.

• Nekoma won against Sarukawa Tech High, your next opponents currently battling it out on the court which you’d all raced to see - mainly for Karasuno.

But it was during the break after the first set that the twins approached the stands, well, you.

“(Y/n), ya won?” It was brave of Osamu to address you so casually but you didn’t mind.

“Of course, my team, my friends, are truly amazing. Our next opponent is either Karasuno or you.”

“You’ll be facing me- us- Inarizaki! Don’t you worry sweetheart.” It seemed whatever suaveness Atsumu once had was long gone by now.

• They played incredibly, but the entirety of Nekoma were glad of Karasunos’ victory, you’d taken a second to see the twins though.

“You were amazing, I’m grateful I got to see you both play. Looks like you won’t be facing me after all, sweetheart~”

“Yeah well- I— jus’ watch yer back next year beautiful. I’m comin’ for ya.”

“OHO! NOT ON MY WATCH PRETTY BOYS!”

“Yamamoto! Apologies for him.” Yaku forced the Mohawk to bow, Kuroo slipping an arm around your waist with a smirk. “But he’s not wrong.”

—

• You were staying with (T/n) for the weekend, utilising Shiratorizawas practice break to tell the tale of the Miyas and their flirting. The team were oddly protective over the both of you, but you hadn’t the time to question it with Goshikis inquiry.

“Okay, so if you two had children with the Miya twins respectively... would your children be identical?”

“...”

“We won’t have to find out.” If anyone else had said it you wouldn’t have believed them, but something about the certainty of Wakatoshi made you both smile.

<——————————<<<<

[ Masterlist ]

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #anime x reader #anime headcanons #shiratorizawa #nekoma

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blueskrugs · 4 years ago

Text

All’s Fair in Love and (Nerf) Wars | Matthew Tkachuk

this can be blamed entirely on my overly competitive ass and @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 who asked for this, but also the picture that inspired this whole thing to begin with.

let’s have some fun with the whole Tkachuk clan, yeah?

length: 1.5k words

It was raining. Scratch that. It was pouring, your typical Midwestern summer thunderstorm that turned the skies grey-green, with the occasional thunderclap so loud the windows rattled. You were perfectly content to curl up near a window with a book or a movie for the day, but Matthew didn’t take well to being stuck inside the house.

“I’m bored,” he groaned, flopping onto the couch dramatically.

You snorted, not looking at him. He poked you in the calf. You half-heartedly kicked out your foot at him, but he just grabbed your ankle and held on to it.

“Babe,” he whined, drawing out the word. “I’m bored.”

“You’ve said that, Matty,” you said, looking at Matthew. His curls were askew, and he was looking at you upside down from where he was laying near your feet. He pouted at you.

“Y’know, you won’t melt if you go outside. Probably,” Taryn chimed in from her spot on the other couch. Matthew flips her off but is immediately scolded by Chantal.

“Play a game together or something,” his mom said as she walked away.

You, Matt, and Taryn shared a look. The last time you had all played Monopoly had ended with Matthew storming off after he kept landing on your hotels, and any attempts to play video games together usually devolve into yelling and sabotage. (Matt once threw an actual banana peel at your head while playing Mario Kart.) You don’t know what any of you expected, really.

Matthew sat up suddenly, knocking away from where you had absently been playing with his curls, and also nearly slamming the top of his head into your chin.

“I have an idea,” he said, bouncing off the couch. You and Taryn groaned at the same time. Matt shoots you both a dirty look before rushing off to the basement.

He doesn’t come back after a couple minutes, so you settle back in to read your book. You’ve almost forgotten that Matthew had left on a mission when you’re hit in the cheek with a Nerf dart.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

“Hey, watch your language, my baby sister is in the room!” Taryn scoffed; Matt shot her, too.

“Was this your idea?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at Matthew. “Just shoot me and Taryn with Nerf darts because you’re annoying?”

“Nah,” Matthew said, pulling out another Nerf gun. “Catch.”

You did, automatically checking to see if Matthew had been kind enough to load darts in it for you. He had, so you shot him in the belly button. He groaned and raised his gun to shoot at you again.

“Hang on, how come I don’t get a gun?” Taryn protested.

“Because then I’ll be outnumbered?” Matthew said.

There was a pause, then all three of you yelled, “Brady!”

Brady stumbled downstairs a moment later, looking like he’d been asleep.

“Nerf war, little bro,” Matthew said, still brandishing his gun. “All the guns and darts you can carry, let’s go.” Brady shook his head but followed Matthew down to the basement, you and Taryn close behind.

Matthew had dragged out the big storage container of Nerf stuff from somewhere in the depths of their basement, and there were already foam darts scattered all over the floor. Matthew dropped to his knees beside the bin and started digging through it again. It was mostly quiet for a couple minutes as you all collected guns and ammo, aside from small arguments over certain guns, until Taryn saw Matt and Brady stashing darts in their shorts’ pockets.

“Hey, wait a minute, that’s not fair. We don’t have pockets,” she said.

“Sucks to suck,” Matt said, not looking up from where he was filling a revolver.

Taryn shot him in the hand, which resulted in a small shootout while you and Brady rolled your eyes at each other. In the end, you and Taryn each ended up in one of the boys’ hoodies; you loaded up the hood and the pocket with spare darts.

Once you’d all decided that you were prepared enough, the boys claimed the basement as a base, and you and Taryn took over the living room.

It didn’t take long for chaos to ensue. Matt and Brady tried to make the first move, and tried to sneak up on you and Taryn, but you were each guarding a doorway into the living room, and the boys retreated quickly. You followed and sat near the top of the stairs to pelt whoever tried to come up them. It went on for nearly ten minutes, until Matthew got frustrated and yelled that he was going to take you hostage if you didn’t stop.

It was quiet for a few minutes, then, while you and Taryn debated trying to attack the boys in the basement, and Matt and Brady presumably making their own plans. Outside, the rain was still coming down steadily.

It turned out that both teams decided to attack at the same time, and you met in the hallway. There was a flurry of darts. Someone got you in the cheek. You shot Matthew in the ear and Brady in the arm. Taryn got the most shots in, though, and in an attempt to escape upstairs, Brady tripped over his feet and fell up the stairs. You and Taryn were too busy laughing to keep shooting him.

You were hunting for spare darts on the ground when Brady ambushed you, and you both ran down the hallway yelling.

“Glad the kids are getting along,” you heard Keith comment mildly as you ran past him.

There was a standoff in the basement a little while later. You and Taryn were on one side of the couch, and Matt and Brady were on the other. Any attempts to move just resulted in getting shot, so no one was doing much. You could hear Matt and Brady talking quietly, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. You and Taryn, on the other hand, were just texting each other.

“Hey,” Matthew called. His head popped up a little, and you carefully aimed a dart at his curls. “Ow.”

“Whatever you’re gonna say, the answer is no,” you said automatically. Though, you were getting a little tired of sitting on the floor.

“What I was going to say,” Matthew started, but you never found out exactly what he was going to say, because Keith burst down the stairs at that moment, gun in hand.

You and Taryn both shrieked and scrambled for better cover, but Walt was– surprisingly– faster, and your back got pelted with darts. Matt and Brady must’ve tried to see what the commotion was about, because you heard them both yell, followed by Keith laughing. You scrambled over the couch and turned to attack Keith back, and Taryn followed you.

“Where did he even get a gun?” Matthew asked, ducking to avoid a dart that went past his ear.

“Must’ve grabbed one of the ones we left upstairs,” Taryn replied, neatly shooting her dad in the shoulder.

“Why the fuck would you do that?” Matthew asked. He was too busy looking appalled at you and Taryn, and didn’t notice that he was exposed. He got hit twice in the chest and fell backwards, groaning.

“Language,” you chided, leaning up to get Keith in the hand.

There were three more of you than there were of Keith, which meant more guns, and before long he was out of darts.

“Alright, alright, I surrender,” he laughed. Brady shot him once more in the stomach for good measure before he left his gun behind and went back upstairs.

Matthew flopped onto the couch and sighed. You started to level your gun at him, but he knocked it out of your hands.

“I’m so tired,” he said.

“Is that you giving up?” Taryn said from next to you. “Do we win?”

“Technically, I had the last shot,” Brady piped in.

The only logical response was to shoot him, which Taryn did, nailing him easily in the sternum.

“Now we win,” she said smugly.

When Chantal called everyone to clean up for dinner, you walked around the house to survey the carnage. Someone– Brady, probably– had shot a suction dart at a picture frame, where it was stuck neatly over Matthew’s face. Someone had gotten multiple darts stuck in the bubble hockey game. There was another on top of a doorframe. Matthew spent five minutes digging darts out from underneath and between sofa cushions. Miraculously, nothing had been broken, though Brady was complaining about his toe from when he tripped on the stairs.

It had stopped raining at some point while you were all in the basement, and the setting sun was starting to peek through the clouds.

“Did you kids have fun?” Chantal asked as you all sat down.

“Oh yeah,” Matthew said, kissing your cheek as he slid into the chair next to you. “The girls kicked our asses though,” he added.

You and Taryn high-fived across the table.

#cait writes things #matthew tkachuk #brady tkachuk #technically #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fanfiction

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dirty-urie · 3 years ago

Text

Little Brendon

Second Person

Brendon x Female Reader

PFTW Era

Fluff(ish) Oneshot

PG-13? R?

3.6k Words

Warnings In Order of Appearance: real person fic, language throughout, arguably slight smut, minor dirty talk

Author's Notes:

1. I don't know how I got this idea or what possessed me to actually write it, to be honest, but I had fun, so I guess that's all that matters.

2. Posting this in honor of the anniversary of the show I went to on the first leg of the Wicked tour, which was technically yesterday, but this fic wasn’t done yesterday, so here it is now.

“Awww, little Brendon,” you gush at the computer screen.

“Please tell me you aren’t looking at pictures of my penis,” Brendon says, walking into the room.

You laugh, rolling your eyes. “Not that your ego couldn’t use a little bruising, but no, I’m not cooing at your nudes. Merch wants you to sign off on the final photos of the Beebo plush, and look how cute he is!” You shift the computer monitor so he can see what you’re looking at.

“Why are you going through my email?”

“You always ignore emails from Merch, and I like looking at all of the new Panic designs!”

“Babe, I work ten hours a day; I don’t want to do anything I don’t have to. Merch will use whatever designs they think will sell well. They don’t actually need my approval. Those sign-off emails are just a formality.”

You pout. “I know, I know. I won’t go through your email anymore.”

“Good,” he says, relieved. "I wouldn’t want you to discover all the messages from my mistresses.”

“You’re a jackass,” you call, flipping him off as he leaves the room with a smirk.

***

“I’m gonna miss you,” you pout, leaning against the door frame to your bedroom.

He kisses your forehead and puts another pair of sweatpants in a suitcase. “You can’t wait for me to leave. You get to have the girls over, watch all your shitty movies, and you won’t have to deal with my dirty underwear or noisy video games in your nice living room.”

You take the t-shirt he’s about to pack out of his hands and throw it on the bed, pulling him into a kiss. You slip your hands under the waistband of his pants to grope his ass. You pull away. “Mhm, that’s what I thought. I don’t ever have to deal with dirty underwear because you never wear any.”

“Hey! Don’t slut-shame me! You love having such easy access to this body.” He gestures to his body with a strange flailing arm motion.

“You know what? You’re right. I can’t wait for you to leave.”

He side-eyes you. “Well, in that case, you won’t want the present I got you.” He shrugs, refolding his shirt.

Your eyes light up, and you go kiss him again. “Have I ever told you how much I love you? Because it’s a lot. Enough to justify a really nice present,” You say after he pulls away.

“That’s what I thought. I guess you’ll get your present after all. Close your eyes,” Brendon says.

You close your eyes, and he hands you something soft. You open your eyes, and it’s Brendon’s likeness in plush form. He’s wearing Brendon’s tour outfit with a gold jacket over a black tee and black leather pants.

“Little Brendon!” you exclaim, seeing the toy in your hands. “Aww, it’s even got your lips and little eyebrow scar! Thank you, babe.” You kiss him and then Little Brendon. “Now I have someone to keep me company while you’re off getting bitches on tour.”

“Oh, come on, babe,” he says, putting his hand on your shoulder and looking into your eyes, “they’re not bitches, they’re groupies.”

You smack his arm affectionately and then push him onto the bed to crawl on top of him. “Maybe you should practice for the groupies. Wouldn’t want you to kill their rockstar fantasies because you’re out of experience.”

He flips you over and rolls on top of you, nipping at your neck. “Out of experience? What, pray tell, have we been doing every day for the past two weeks, if not building my experience?” he asks with disbelief, punctuating each point with a bite or kiss. “Remember when I made you come twelve times in one hour before I let myself come? Or when we fucked on the roof of my studio when the neighbors were out of town? Or when you fucked my ass with that new toy, the one that vibrates?”

“Shit, shit, point taken,” you moan, grinding up against him while he bears down on you.

His phone pings, and he slows his hips to grab it from the side table. “Fuck, Zack’s out front. I’ve gotta go.”

You grab the front of his shirt and yank him down for a deep, dirty kiss.

He’s reluctant to pull away, but his other love is calling. Tour, that is, not Zack.

“Okay, let me up, loverboy. I’ll help bring your stuff out to the car,” you tell him.

“Thank you. Most of my instruments and stuff are already with the guys, but I’ve still got two suitcases and a backpack.”

You both stand up, and he grabs the suitcases, leaving you with the backpack. “You’re not gonna readjust, rockstar?” You ask, eyeing his tented sweatpants.

He shrugs, “My hands are full, and it’s nothing Zack hasn’t seen before.”

“You just like showing off,” you accuse, and he smirks a little and winks because you’re not wrong.

You walk him to the car and give him a final goodbye kiss. “I love you to death. Knock their socks off, babe.”

***

Without fail, the one-week mark hits you like a truck. You’ve had your fun with girlfriends, and you’ve enjoyed the peace and quiet, but your bed is empty, and it’s weighing on your chest. Even the puppies seem a little more glum without Brendon.

You feel silly, but finally, after two nights of crying yourself to sleep, you give in and grab little Brendon from your dresser and cuddle up with him.

***

Two weeks later and you and the real Brendon are half-asleep, snuggled up against each other in the nicest hotel room in Houston. You can only spend two nights with him, and you refuse to let him go for even a second more than you have to. Which he did not appreciate when he had to use the bathroom, but it’s his fault for leaving you for so long.

“Baby, I’ve got an interview, but I’ll bring back breakfast, and we’ll eat in bed, okay? I’m really sorry,” He whispers apologetically, peeling away from you.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s what you have to do to pay the bills. Can you hand me Little B? He’s in my purse,” you ask, and Brendon obliges without comment, probably just happy you’re not crying.

You fall back asleep with the little guy in your arms.

Brendon knows it’s irrational when he comes back three hours later at 8 am, and he feels a tiny twinge of jealousy at the plush you’re cuddled up with. However, he feels it is not irrational that he’s upset when he climbs into bed with you, and instead of immediately clinging to him like always, you just clutch Little Brendon harder. Almost as if protecting the toy from Brendon.

“Y/N, I’m back,” he whispers in your ear, half-hoping you’ll throw the doll on the ground and roll over to make burning hot love to him for 12 hours straight. That’ll show Little Brendon. Well, no, it won’t, he has stuffing where his brain should be, but it’ll show him on principle.

You do roll over to throw an arm across him, but you still have little Brendon tucked under your other arm.

Brendon decides to call this one a draw.

“Did you bring food?” You mumble.

“Of course, darling. I’ll do anything to spoil you. That’s one of the perks of having a driver’s license and sentience.”

“…What?”

“Nothing. I’ll get your food.”

He insists on feeding you and rubbing your feet, and letting you watch whatever you want on the hotel TV. And it’s just because he wants to take care of you while you two are together. Definitely no other reason. He certainly feels no joy at the sight of Little Brendon lying discarded on the nightstand. Point Real Brendon.

After the day of pampering, it pains you when you check the clock, and it’s time to leave. “Alright, I’ve gotta head out, B. I can’t miss my flight,” you finally say, changing from Brendon’s T-shirt into real clothes.

Brendon thinks about protesting, but he knows better. You have your own life apart from him, and he respects that.

You cram your stuff in your overnight bag and give your goodbye hugs and kisses to Brendon. Then you kiss Little B before throwing him in your purse. You think you see Brendon scowl at your new companion, but you were probably just imagining it.

***

“Surprise!” Brendon shouts as he opens the door.

“Babe! Thank god I sent the strippers home early,” you joke as he sits next to you on the couch.

“Shit, I missed the strippers?”

“You fucking goof,” you laugh, playing with his hair. “What are you doing home early?”

“Nicole needed to come home for some emergency with her house, so I figured I’d charter the plane and zip down with her and Zack to spend the night with my beautiful wife.”

“God, that must’ve cost an arm and a leg, B.”

He shrugs, “Nah, we were only in Portland anyway, and it’s easier than finding a new bassist on short notice. This way, Nicole and I can be back for the San Jose show tomorrow night, and I get a whole twelve hours at home with my girl and my puppies.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad it worked out for everyone. Especially me,” you say, shifting to sit in Brendon’s lap.

You two finish up the episode you were watching before you insist that he comes to bed because he’s overworked and jetlagged. He’s sleepy and doesn’t need that much convincing, but he tries to put up a fight anyway.

“I only get a little bit of time with you; I don’t want to spend it sleeping,” he complains.

“This is the hardest I’ve ever had to work to get you in my bed,” you respond, yanking him to his feet.

His eyes light up, and you shake your head. “No, sir. We’re not having sex. You’re getting at least seven hours of sleep in your own bed with the love of your life, and then you’re going to take a shower, make me breakfast, and give San Jose the show of their lives. You’ll literally see me again in two days when I come to the LA show.”

He bites his lip, still trying to lay the seduction on thick.

“No! Bed! Or I’m making you sleep in the guest room!”

He sighs, trudging along behind you to the bedroom.

“Um, babe, I think you forgot to kick out your mistress before I got home,” he says, gesturing to his side of the bed where little Brendon is tucked into the comforter.

You scowl playfully. “Oh, shush you. Where else should I put him while making the bed?”

“I don’t know, but letting my replacement sleep in my spot feels a little on the nose.”

“He’s not your replacement, baby.”

“Really?” Brendon asks, picking up Little Brendon and getting into bed, “because” he sniffs Little Brendon’s head, “I’m pretty sure Little Brendon is wearing my fifty dollar cologne.”

You blush, “Okay, well I take him everywhere, and I didn’t want him to smell, and it’s not like I could use any of my perfumes…” you taper off, realizing that you may have given yourself away with the ‘take him everywhere’ line.

He narrows his eyes but doesn’t say anything else before clicking out the light.

“Hey, Brendon?” You ask quietly.

“Mm?”

“Um, what did you do with Little B?”

Brendon clicks on the light. “Ah-ha! J’accuse! You’ve replaced me!”

“I just don’t want the dogs to rip him up and then leave me to clean up stuffing all morning!” You defend yourself.

“Well then, you won’t mind me putting him up on the dresser.”

“Of course, I won’t mind.”

Brendon puts Little B on the dresser and goes back to bed, so imagine his surprise when instead of waking up tangled in your arms the next morning, he’s not even touching you on the king bed. Instead, you’re hugging Little Bastard with your nose buried in his fabric hair.

Little B’s smirk taunts Brendon as he storms out of bed to make his damn wife breakfast. His damn wife.

***

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I’m gonna come,” you whine, rubbing your hips frantically.

“Come,” he commands. “Let me see that pretty mouth fall open as you come all over our bedsheets, pretty girl.”

The angle on your clit is perfect, and the image of him getting off on your phone right along with you pushes you into bliss, and your orgasm rocks through your core. You know you’ve affected him when you hear him grunt as come rolls down his fist.

“God, babe, you’re incredible, from a completely different country, fuck, a completely different continent, you still turn me on like crazy,” he admires.

“I could say the same about you. I came so hard just from getting to hear and see you.” You tell him before accidentally dropping your phone. “Shit, sorry, my fingers are a little wet.

Brendon would normally just be admiring the soaked panties he’s getting a glimpse of, but instead, his attention is drawn between your thighs for a different reason.

“Were you getting off by humping Little Brendon?!”

“It’s not what it looks like, okay?” You say, picking up the phone. “He’s the perfect firmness, and he’s way easier to manage than a clunky pillow! It’s purely physical!”

Brendon scoffs, “I’ve bought you thousands of dollars in sex toys, and you turn to him? In our marital bed? I’m being cuckolded by polyester!”

“Brendon, it’s a stuffed animal, not the pool boy. You come back from England in three days, and you can fuck me however you want. Y’know, because of your functioning dick, tongue, and fingers?”

“Just as long as I don’t come back to find you rimming the stuffed tiger from Calvin and Hobbes,” he teases with a smile.

“Hm, is degrading Winnie the Pooh out of the question, too, then? because if that’s the case, then I’ll need to find different plans for tomorrow evening.”

He gives you a pointed look, feigning seriousness before cracking a grin. “Alright, alright, thank you for the orgasm. I’ll see you on Tuesday,” he says before blowing you a kiss before hanging up.

“That plush better count his days,” Brendon mumbles to himself before falling asleep.

***

“Do you want me to go with you to the store?” He offers.

“No, baby, enjoy some of your time at home. I’ll just bring my other husband for emotional support.” You toss Little Brendon in your purse.

“I remember when I was your emotional support at the grocery store…” Brendon starts, looking off into the distance.

“Yeah, me too, and you were terrible. You hated it. Rest assured, I’ll make you come back to the grocery store another time, but right now, I’m being nice because you just got back from tour. And you still have the dishes and the vacuuming to do.”

“Aye, aye, captain. Don’t let the paparazzi catch you smooching Little Brendon while I’m at home doing your dirty work,” he calls as you leave.

“No promises! He’s very tempting!”

***

“You never snuggle with me anymore,” Brendon pouts after you reject his advances in bed.

“It’s August, and you’re hot,” you complain, and he gives you a suggestive look. “Not that kind of hot, Casanova. I mean two minutes in, and you’re sweating all over me. It’s uncomfortable.”

“You snuggled with Little Brendon when I was gone!” He accuses.

“Yes, because I’ve grown accustomed to sleeping with something in my arms, and Little Brendon doesn’t sweat, or snore, or wake me up in the morning with his cock pressing into my thigh, or bicker with me about how I choose to sleep,” you explain, annoyed. Brendon looks genuinely upset, so you soften your face. “When the temperature isn’t in the triple digits, and we don’t literally stick together when we touch, we can cuddle. Okay?”

“Fine.”

***

“Bogart, hey buddy, look at this toy for you to chew on. Bite, bite, bite, kill,” he says, throwing Little Brendon to Bogart.

Bogart sighs and rests his head on Little Brendon like a pillow.

“First my wife and now my dog,” Brendon shouts, throwing his hands up in frustration.

“Okay, this has gone on long enough,” you tell him, alerting him to your presence in the doorframe. “Sit,” you order, pointing to the couch. “Brendon, you’re jealous of a toy,” you state bluntly.

He blushes and grabs his stuffed enemy. “It’s not about the toy,” he finally admits.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

“It’s just,” he struggles to find the right words, “I love touring. I love seeing all the different cities on my days off, meeting fans, partying with different bands, and most of all playing shows.” He takes a deep breath. “But I also love you. I love waking up with you, going out to dinner, watching you get off on my thigh, and just getting to be near you. So when I have to be away from you to tour, sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice, and seeing you do the things I want to do with you with the stupid Beebo plush instead, kept bringing all of those feelings to the forefront” he confesses.

“Oh, B, of course, you made the right choice. I love you, and I miss you when you’re gone sometimes, but I love our life. I love getting my independence when you’re gone, visiting you on-tour, watching you do what you love, having super hot reunion sex. So yeah, sometimes I just wanna squeeze you and smell your cologne and kiss your little face, but I’d never want you to sacrifice your career for that,” you say. “You wanna know why I like Little B so much?”

“Because he’s so good for humping?”

“No,” you laugh, “well, yes, actually, he is. But it’s because he reminds me why I spend some nights alone and hop on dreadful red-eye flights every few weeks and have to hook up with my husband on a fucking bus. So you can put on this dumb gold jacket,” you fiddle with Little Brendon’s jacket, “and perform the songs you worked so hard on for hundreds of thousands of people, and then sell thousands of these dumb little dolls so we can live in a multi-million dollar house with a home studio and a heated pool.”

“So you’re not replacing me with the puppet doll?” He asks.

“Well, maybe a little, but sometimes you feel so intangible. Even when you’re here, I know you have other, more important obligations, so it’s nice to have something constant,” you laugh, “and I think Bogart feels the same way,” you say, pointing to the dog who is curled around his new friend protectively.

***

“You’ve created a monster!”

“Have not!”

“You were the one who gave him Little Brendon!”

Brendon’s eyes dart to the floor because you’re right.

Bogart grew attached to Little Brendon faster than you did and now gently carries the toy with him wherever he goes. If you try to reclaim Little Brendon, Bogart growls and snarls.

“It’s kind of cute, I guess. He’s protecting his daddy,” you say.

“Then it’s your fault for putting my cologne on him,” Brendon retorts.

“Ugh, fine,” you concede.

“Oh look, he’s dropped it,” Brendon points out.

At first, you think it’s a good thing, but you both recognize the look Bogart’s giving.

“Go, Bog! Get it!” Brendon cackles as the dog pounces.

“Oh no, you don’t, bad dog,” you scold, snatching the toy away. “If you wanna hump something, I think Zack’s coming over tonight, but we don’t do that to mommy’s things.”

Brendon’s still laughing his ass off, and you shoot him a dirty look. “C’mon, babe, you’ve blue-balled him,” Brendon says, pointing to the sad-looking dog.

“Bogart is fixed and doesn’t have balls, a characteristic you two will soon have in common if you don’t stop giggling like a ten-year-old,” you threaten, and he, wisely, shuts up. “That’s what I thought. And if anything, this is just vindication for me because I told you Little Brendon was good for humping, and you dismissed it,” you tell him.

“Okay, fine, there was a brief period of time when I was irrationally jealous of a toy,” he admits. “But I think you should get another taste of the real thing before you decide who’s the better lay once and for all,” Brendon says, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom.

“Brendon!” You lightheartedly protest in his arms.

***

You’re lying on his chest contentedly as he strokes your arm. “You wanna know what I miss the most about getting to cuddle with you when you’re touring? Something Little Brendon doesn’t give me?”

“Hm?”

“Your heartbeat. Feeling it under my head or under my palm. Especially if we’re lying together for a while. I love how it slows and steadies the longer we’re with each other. So comforting.”

***

Little Brendon is sitting on your bed with a card that says, “Squeeze me!” on the front. You squeeze the plush, and you immediately recognize Brendon’s heartbeat coming softly from the chest of the toy. You smile and pick up the card.

Hey, baby! It reads, I’m no doubt missing you on the second leg of tour right now, but if you really need some comfort, I hope this’ll do. The recording lasts about an hour, and I made sure it got down to my resting heart rate before it stops. I’m sorry for being a jealous dick about a stuffed animal, but even my possessive lizard brain wants you to have something to make you feel better if you’re ever stressed or upset. (And now that the Beebo plushies are officially for sale, you can rest easy knowing yours is special)

xoxoxo,

Brendon

#why did i write this?#brendon urie fanfiction #Brendon x Reader #my own work #brendon urie #panic! at the disco #panic at the disco #brendon urie smut #brendon urie fluff

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quirklessidiot · 4 years ago

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Title: coward :: brat Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alchohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and mentions of abortion

Synopsis: you finally see Miya Atsumu after six years, meanwhile, he feels pain when he realizes that you settled down with someone else that wasn’t him. notes: i um want to thank yall for supporting this story im- crying T-T I’m happy to inform everyone that i’ll be updating this twice a week every monday and saturday! yay!!! i was able to finish editing and im writing the last two chapters now. stay safe and big love to each and everyone of you <3

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“...Uh, Youta-Kun, Yuuto-kun, I thought you guys weren’t allowed to go.” Sugawara laughed nervously, knowing all too well where this would lead. He’s familiar with over-enthusiastic boys, in fact, one of those over-enthusiastic balls of sunshine was here right now entertaining them.

“K-Kaasan says it’s alright.” Yuuto lies but Sugawara quirked his brow, it was so obvious that he was lying.

“Yep, she did!” Youta grins, trying to help his twin but like him, he’s failing drastically.

“Then you won’t mind if I call your okaasa-”

“No!” Youta and Yuuto yell in unison. This made other people turn their way, Miya Atsumu watched the pair in amusement from afar. He noticed that they were late and that Sugawara had caught on to their scheme of joining in even without the parental consent, “We won’t join!” Youta proclaims, “Right, yu? W-We’ll pick up balls!”

Hinata feels his eyes glimmer at those words and decides to help them convince Sugawara but in the end, the twins were forced to be benched while the grey-haired teacher had to go back to the faculty to call you.

“It’s alright,” Hinata ruffles both their hairs, “We’ll try to come back next time and I’ll be sure to help convince your ‘kaasan.”

“Hey don’t plant false ideas in their head, Shoyou.” Atsumu grins, lazily jogging to their side. He directs his gaze to the twins that seem to oddly remind him of him and ‘samu when they were younger. The boy's gaze lingered a bit too long on him,unlike other kids who stared at him in awe, these ones were seething, “What are ya lookin’ at, kid?”

“Wow,you’re as mean as your brother.” Yuuto notes, eyeing him up and down.

“Yeah.” Youta echoes.

Atsumu quirks a brow, this was quite the new reaction. Never in his life had a kid told him that he was mean as ‘Samu also how did they even know his twin brother?

“Now, now, don’t you think you should cut me some slack?” Atsumu tried to jokebut the twins remained unamused by the blonde’s antics, somehow Atsumu felt a sense of familiarity from their monotonous reactions.

“No thanks.” Yuuto crossed his arms, “The fake Atsumu made ‘kaasan cry and since you look like him, you might make ‘kaasan cry too.”

“What he said!” Youta agreed loudly, copying his older brother’s action.

Atsumu was just plain confused now, he admitted that Osamu had an attitude sometimes when he was annoyed but letting a mom cry in front of her kids? That’s definitely new and not-so ‘samu like (after all, he was apparently the nicer one between them)

“What’s the name of your okaasan-”

“Youta-Kun, Yuuto-kun, Your mom will be picking you up at the gate! Please go there now.” Sugawara cuts him off, Youta and Yuuto stand up and eye him for a bit.

“We’ll defeat you and your brother! Just wait and see, we’ll be as big as you and that other jiji!” Yuuto exclaims and before Atsumu could retaliate, they’re running off to the opposite direction. Hinata was laughing beside him, clutching his sides because apparently he was too petty while Sugawara looked at him with an apologetic expression.

“I wonder why L/N-san didn’t allow them to go, she’s usually very supportive of their hobbies, especially volleyball.” Sugawara frowns, suddenly voicing out his thoughts. Atsumu felt his shoulders stiffen at the sound of that familiar name.

Osamu revealed he saw you last week then these kids suddenly confessed that his twin made their okaasan cry, he’s never seen you cry throughout your relationship (save for that night when you first me but you guys weren't together yet so that didn’t count). Maybe he was mistaken? it might be your relative or a common name.

After all, you were clear about not wanting a family.

“You know their mom well?” Hinata inquired, Atsumu seems to be listening closely now, wanting to confirm if the person that Sugawara was talking about is you.

“Oh yeah, we're around the same age so I’m much closer to her than the other moms.” Sugawara blinks, “Those boys have to listen to their okaasan more. She’s raising them on her own since their dad died before he even got to know that L/N-san was pregnant. She seemed to be longing for him whenever he’s mentioned.”

A crease appeared on the blonde's forehead as he was suddenly in deep thought. It couldn’t be, right?

“Uh, Sugawara-san, may I know the name of the mom? Her last name sounds kind of familiar.” he questions, pretending to be nonchalant but inside, he feels like he had his heart on his throat.

If it was you, he’d feel those things that he desperately tried to hide behind his confident jokes and laughs.

The pain.

The pain that you chose someone else and was open enough to the idea of starting a family. If that guy probably hadn’t died, you’d be together, happily raising those boys he had just met a while ago. Happily married, something that Atsumu tried to mention one fleeting moment while you were together back in college but you immediately shut the idea down and left him a month later.

The pain that you fell in love in a span of moments unlike Atsumu who relentlessly tried to gain your favour and follow you around like a lost puppy.

“Oh, her name’s Y/N L/N.”

Thankfully nothing unexpected happened after what the twins did, they ended up having to pick if they wanted their video game rights removed for a week or cancel their plans with their favorite ojisan who was coming by a few weeks from now, they chose the first one on that.

They had even mentioned that they met the real Miya Atsumu and although you felt like your heart lurched out of your chest and your shoulders stiffen at the mention of that man --- their father--- they simply had called him a rude jiji like his brother much to your relief.

“L/N-san, we seem to have a problem.” Aiko frowned, handing the papers to you, “The director of the advertisement department wants a bigger budget, do you mind running it through him again? You have to go to the studio though, I heard they’re doing some photo shoot now.”

You nodded in reply, taking the papers from your co-worker. The studio was a bit far so you ended up having to commute to get there, “What a nuisance.” You muttered, you needed to buy a second-hand car soon when you had enough money. It would definitely be easier for both you and the boys, “Uh excuse me? Is Nakamura-san here?” you asked the secretary on the front desk.

“And who are you?” the secretary snapped back, still typing away on her computer.

“Y/N L/N from the finance department, I have to run through the new budget liquidation with him.”

The secretary one-eyes you and the ID on your neck for a split second, “You better be quick, the boss wants only five minutes per guest since he’s personally handling the shoot today.” was all she replied, handing you the pass. You muttered a quick thank you and made your way up to the studio, whoever the model was today, they must’ve been big for Nakamura to handle them personally.

“Oh-ho, is that who I think it is?” a very, very familiar voice calls out.

“Inunaki-san.” You greeted, trying to maintain yourself, were these the big clients that Nakamura was handling? The black jackals? good fucking gracious, god must hate you.

“Wow,” he shakes his head, feigning amusement, “You’re still so calm and cool.”

You narrowed your eyes at the insult but you waved it off, “And you’re playing for a national team, congratulations.” you replied in a blank tone, your senior probably knew what happened between you and his fellow member. You wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he reacted the same way as Osamu did.

“We’re actually doing a shoot now, would you like me to call Atsu-”

“No.” your usual calm tone switched to a colder one, “I’m working now and so is Miya-san, please don’t bother yourself.”

“Gee,” he raised his hands, signalling defeat, “Just say you don’t want to see him. You don’t need to be so cold to me, my dear little kohai.”

“I have to go back to my job, I’m on the clock here.” You ignored his previous statement, “It was nice seeing you again Inunaki-san.”

Before you could give him a chance to reply, you headed towards the studio. You took a deep breath and mentally calculated to three.

one.

It’s been six years, Miya Atsumu would ignore you. He wouldn’t care about the girl who left him out to dry in college. He’s got a girlfriend now, a model who has legs for days and looks ten times better than you and acts more like a girlfriend than you ever did.

two.

Yes, that’s right, he wouldn’t care.

three.

You entered the studio, you could feel the air tighten around you as soon as you heard that laughter. The one you used to hear everyday and never get tired of. For all the laughs you couldn’t do, he’d do it for you and boy, was he patient around you since you didn’t smile a lot back then (who were you kidding? until now you still had the same problem except when the kids were around)

You want to stop and stare, you want to admire him and his glory that you were very much proud of.

Yet your legs continue to carry you to your boss, the laughter seems to have ceased and you could hear someone asking him what was wrong.

“Oh, L/N-san?” Nakamura greeted you, “You’re here for the renewal of the budget?”

You nodded feverishly, your legs seem to be turning into jelly because you want to collapse from the nervousness and thank god that you wore some make-up before arriving here, otherwise, they would’ve noticed how pale you looked, “Everything seems to be in order,” He nods, scanning the sheets and handing them back to you, “Are you busy right now?”

You glanced at the wall clock, checking the time to see if you could extend your stay and Nakamura is quick to pick up on it, “Ah right, you’ve got kids to pick up. It’ll be quick, just help set up the blocks there and you’re free to leave.” he orders.

You nodded obediently and slowly turned to the side only to catch the very familiar chocolate brown eyes of the blonde. You feel your heart hammering in your chest and your feet turn cold, it had been six years since you last saw Miya Atsumu and he was still as winsome and exhilarating as he was back then.

You may have seen him a lot on television but seeing him, right here, a few feet away from you was different. Taking in a big gulp of air, you started working on the set-up as quickly as you could yet you could still feel his burning gaze remaining on you, “Tsum-tsum, lay off her will you.” came Inunaki Shion’s loud voice snaps him out of his daze.

Great, that little twat had to make an appearance.

“Y/N-san you should really say hi,” Inunaki teased as soon as you finish your set-up.

“Oh? You’re Y/N L/N?” the orange one gushed, quickly up on his feet, you recall him as Hinata Shoyou, Youta’s favorite orange-haired ninja, “Sugawara-san’s friend?”

You hesitantly nodded, “Oh, you know her Sho-kun?” Shion asked, seemingly amused by it all.

“What are you all crowding here for, Hinata?” Another asked, peering in them closely. This one must’ve been Bokuto, another favorite of Yuuto.

“Sugawara-san’s friend! she’s the mother of those two boys in the training camp who had to go home early!” he suddenly turns to you and then grins, “Ne, ne, the boys really seem to want to attend one of those. Why don’t you allow them to join us-”

“Forget it, Hinata.” Atsumu suddenly speaks out, that warm voice that you were accustomed to seemed cold and menacing now, “She won’t allow it.”

Shion notices the tension between you two and when he’s about to usher the energetic duo away back to the dressing room along with the other members, you let out a quiet sigh and spoke out, “I was on my way to leave, please don’t bother yourselves.” You simply replied, you didn’t waver and stared at him dead in the eye, this could be the moment to end it all and cut ties with him officially, “I apologize for what I did back then, Miya-san. I should’ve told it to you in person. I offer my sincere congratulations to you for making it this far.”

The blonde clenched his jaw, it seemed like he wanted to say something to you yet when he realizes the usual calm and collected demeanor you're putting up, he decides against it and leaves you alone by storming away first.

Hinata and the guy named Bokuto looked at you --- completely puzzled and lost like a deer in the headlights --- before following the blonde, “You truly are in a whole ‘nuther level, Y/N.” Shion whistles, “Heard you’ve got two boys now though. Congrats, where's the poor bastard?”

You continue to watch the back of Atsumu Miya. Finally, it seemed like he’d left you alone and probably for good this time, “Gone, off to a better place.” was all you replied.

Inunaki notices the longing in your voice, a completely unfamiliar emotion he had never seen back then even when you and Atsumu were together. It seemed like you and Atsumu were both the poor bastards in the end.

Miya Atsumu sleeps alone that night.

He doesn’t call his girlfriend back despite the several missed calls, he doesn’t reply to the unanswered text of his brother and his teammates. All he feels is pain tonight, pain because of your very dry apology, pain because of your bland expression. Pain because you didn’t seem to care like that time six years ago.

He shuts his eyes tight and he feels as if he’s back in college, back to that winter night where he received that dreaded phone call from you after you disappeared from him. He remembered those days clearly, your apartment had been cleaned out and paid for, you weren’t answering him on social media, your phone line was also unresponsive and he couldn’t even call your family since you never mentioned anything about them at all.

You both may have been intimate for the past two years but when you disappeared, he had the frightening realization that he didn’t know you at all.

He didn’t want to push you out of your comfort zone, he wanted you to lead the relationship but right at that moment, he wished he pried just a bit since he was worried about you.

Then in the midst of his anxiety, it came, that phone call.

“Atsumu.” your usual calm voice filled his ears and he suddenly feels the weight of the world is removed from his shoulders, thank god you were okay.

“Y/N? Baby? Where are you?”

“Out.”

“Where outside exactly?” Miya Atsumu dryly asks, “It’s cold, you shouldn’t be out now and wandering about. Would you like me to pick you up-”

“I can’t do this anymore.” you suddenly cut him off and the line goes quiet. The blonde feels the world around him quiet down too when he hears those words that he wished he heard wrong.

“What’s, what’s wrong? Y/N, are you alright?”

“I don’t know,” You mutter, “I’m just tired.”

“Tired of what exactly?”

“Of you, of us…”

“Y/N, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes.” Your voice remained dead calm as if you just hadn’t broken his heart in a million pieces that moment, “Let’s stop this here now, Atsumu. Let’s break-up.”

“That’s…” He tries to keep the mood light, praying that this is one of your dark jokes, “That’s not funny, Y/N.”

“It’s not supposed to be since it’s not a joke.”

Your response was curt as usual and he doesn’t know whats worse, the fact that you’re breaking up over the phone or the fact that your tone remains stable and the same.

“Y/N, don’t do this...Baby don’t do this over the phone.” His tone seemed desperate at this point, “I’m not stopping this until you tell me what's wrong between us, you have to give me something to work with Y/N. Is it something I did?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean ya don’t know?” Atsumu started to raise his tone when he notices how unaffected you seem at the other line.Frustration slowly started to bubble in him, the accent turning thicker as he got angrier, “Y/N ya can’t just disappear out of the blue and call me one day and tell me you want to break up! Do you think I’m some sort of fling? Some one-night stand or fuck buddies? We’ve been together for two years, Y/N. Two whole fucking years, What’s wrong? Do you not love me anymore?”

“Yes.”

The line went dead silent again and he hates it, he doesn’t know what to say as his face contorts in sadness and confusion.

“I don’t…” He starts to feel a lump grow on his throat when he hears how easy it was for you to say, he knew he was in love with you more than you were with him. Many had pointed out how dangerous and how painful it would be on his side in the end, he couldn’t believe it would hurt him this much, “ I don’t fucking believe you, say it right at my face. Where the hell are ya? Let’s talk this one out in person.”

“Don’t bother, I just don’t want to see you again.”

“Y/N you can’t just-”

“I can and I will.” You cut him off, your voice was growing more and more detached and he feels like he’s back to that moment two years ago where you didn’t spare him a glance and treated him like a scrub, he hears a hefty sigh on your side and the next few words is another bullet to his heart, “I’m sorry it had to end this way, Atsumu.”

“You…” he shakily replied, trying to mask his grief with a painful chuckle. He wants to be mad at you, he wants to yell at you but for some odd reason, he couldn’t bring himself to, “Jesus christ, you really are something, Y/N. You just broke my heart over the the fucking phone and all you could do is say sorry?”

“Sorry.” you say, like a broken-record on repeat and he hates it. He hates how he feels like this was nothing for you.

“Don’t you dare say that again when you don’t mean it-” He spat and before he could finish what he had to say, the phone line went dead. He tried to call again but it seemed like you had used a payphone. Out of complete vexation, he hurls his phone right across the room towards the blue photo frame with the both of you in it.

The sound of broken glass shards and ragged breathing is the only thing heard in the quiet apartment.

It’s not even the peak of winter that night yet he feels so numb and cold.

taglist [closed]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ; @svtbitch ; @ryaaaax ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @Etherynaw ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ;

#haikyu!! fanfics #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu imagine #atsumu imagines #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu angst #miya atsumu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #coward series

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watchinglikeafangirl · 4 years ago

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Analysis of Shu Yi and Shi De

The second season of We best love is about to start in less than two weeks but until then, I fill the gaps by writing this alysis because I like this show for several reasons. The characters and their chemistry is incredible and the way the show is made is lovely. It is a perfect example of a BL without a forced plot twist and an even more artificial created drama.

I'm not gonna summarize the story here cause I believe you've watched the show already and I just want to say that I write this text after the first season finished and after the special episode came out. Let me tell you, I'm scared what's going to happen next season but I look very forward to it.

Anyway, let's start with the characters and especially Shu Yi. Shu Yi is a short-tempered, impulsive, narcisstic, childish and ambitious person. He snaps as soon as anyone criticizes him or seems to know his reason for action out. It's more like a protection of his emotions like Zheng Wen said: "He looks like he doesn't care much but he always keeps things to himself" which we see when Shu Yi visits Shi De's home for the first time. He is nervous but doesn't admit it ("Why would I be [nervous] if you're not") until Shi De confirms "I'm very nervous". Only then, Shu Yi says "I'm just as nervous as you are", so he's very closeted about his emotions which is also why Shu Yi gets very defensive when Shi De knows why he jumped in the pool and looks a bit surprised that Shi De has figured him out when Shi De says "You don't have to act strong when you are sad." Talking about the scene in the pool, this scene is also a great example for Shu Yi's impulsiveness. He gets sort of friendzoned and is very heartbroken about it. What does he do? He immediately jumps in the pool to die. Why not? Shi De saved him anyway but more to that later. There are many things in which Shu Yi is impulsive and simply demands things or acts like he does whenever he wants to. He asks Shi De to sing him to sleep because he's "used to listening to some music before going to sleep", he tries to get Shi De's phone but this attempt ends rather in an embarassing funny scene than him getting what he wants but the thought came out of the blue and he just goes through with it. Also, he screams at the city how much he likes Shi De which is extremely impulsive and shows how much he lives and feels in the moment. He's a very spontaneous person and so euphoric about his love confession that he just screams at the city. It also shows that he is narcicistic because he simply doesn't care about others. He doesn't even care that Shi De is embaressed because he wants to make it clear and felt like rather screaming at the world than repeating it again, so Shi De will definetely believe him. Shu Yi is childish too which is only shown in the first two episodes when he pulls a few very harmless pranks on Shi De which don't have the wished effect and Shi De is just happy about it because he knows now that Shu Yi sees him which is all he ever wanted. Shu Yi's always playing games and gets very angry when he doesn't win. This behavior comes from his nature being all in, all the time. He's so much invested in the happiness and the kick of adrenalin that he doesn't care about anything else. And of course, he's very ambitious about it. He wants to win against Shi De his whole life. In the flashbacks but also in the present and even after they are together.

Shi De in contrast is a very closed, shy, sensitive and selfless person who likes to overthink every step he takes. Overall, Shi De lives more in his head than in the real world which he says about himself "I feel like I'm still dreaming. I still can't believe you like me" which is why he sort of forgets to tell Shu Yi that he's going to America or at least hasn't figured out a way to do so. Also he is a person who gets shy very easily like in the scene when he first admits his feelings to Shu Yi but Shu Yi's reaction is not the most positive one so Shi De pulls back and says it was a joke. He's sensitive and immediately cries after Shu Yi kisses him on the bridge. Again, showing that he dreamt of this moment for so long that he can't believe it's actually happeneing and he gets all emotional about it. Like Shu Yi did but his tears were there out of a different reason. Shu Yi was overwhelmed by himself, admitting his feelings in such a grand gesture and he was also frustrated because Shi De pulled away. And Shi De cried because he couldn't believe this was happening to him. Like a teenager receiving his first kiss. He's all about befriending Shu Yi and made a whole plan for this but didn't expect Shu Yi to actually fall for him and is not prepared for it, so he pulls away when Shu Yi tries to kiss him. Because he lives so much in his head that he doesn't go through with it. Even after his mom encourages him, he does nothing because he thinks the moment has passed and it would be a waste of energy. But the whole plan before the kiss was rather selfless and now he's supposed to show his feelings and be completely real. The whole time he tried to get closer to Shu Yi in order to become his friend and even offers him advice on how to deal with the heartbreak and all that. He loves Shu Yi so much that he cares most about his happiness and only kisses Shu Yi in the pool so he'd feel worthy of some love. Shu Yi felt like he was dying and never going to receive true love and Shi De just kisses him to safe him and to return the favor. Shu Yi saved him way back when and Shi De loves him since that day. He feels like he has to return the favor and wants to save Shu Yi emotionally too, so he helps him get over a heartbreak and ignores his romantic feelings towards him. This selflessness even gets more shown when they talk about the fact that Shi De likes Shu Yi but Shu Yi doesn't like him back and he just accepts it painfully. Shi De even gives him the advice to not look for a woman because of him but because he truly likes one of them. He is so selfless, he takes the whole resposibility and says "Yes, I like you. But it's none of your business." A very strong statement if you think about how much this must've hurt him. Letting your love go and say that they shouldn't care about your romantic feelings because they can't do anything about it is pretty rough and very sad.

What they both have very much in common is that they are not very much open about how they look on the inside though they hide different things. Shu Yi keeps his emotions to himself but is honest and Shi De keeps his thoughts to himself but shows his emotions.

Their relationship is very special and their friendship develops from zero contact to kissing quickly but still in a realistic way. Shu Yi hates Shi De at first but I still don't think it was real hate, but more to that later. Then he just thinks that Shi De is a mean person, using the video against him and tricking him into becoming his page boy. But in the infirmary and after a few bonding time moments Shu Yi actually calls him "friend" which makes Shi De the happiest person on earth. We all know, the kiss in the infirmary when Shu Yi "was asleep" changed everything for them and Shu Yi says he doesn't want to fall for a man which is interesting because he's not saying "I'm not gay" or stuff like that. In fact the word "gay" is never said in the whole series. He simply says that because he knows it would be easier to live in society when he would be with a woman. Being with a man would cause some problems with very unkind people and would affect everything in his life. It's an interesting and totally comprehensible thought and distances We best love very much from the often used "I'm not gay"-conflict because none of them tries to put a label on the relationship and I totally admire this show for that. It's refreshing and shows exactly that love is about the feelings and nothing else. Shi De's mom says something very nice about it: "If you feel satisfaction when you look at him, then you've found the right person." ... Anyway, after Shu Yi says that, Shi De decides to leave his life but Shu Yi is angry at him. He sees Shi De's feelings as his business because he himself developed some for Shi De. And then we get the scene on the bridge which every fan is dying for. Again, underlining that love is about the feelings when Shu Yi says "Because it's you. I have no choice."

The aspect Shu Yi accepts to become Shi De's page boy shows how much he depends on Shi De. Even if he doesn't see it, he does. Like Yu Xin says, Shi De has been there his whole life to always save him from difficult situations and he is curious about him. Shi De follows him everywhere and I think Shu Yi just wants to know why. His whole ambition depends on Shi De which is why he never wins against him. He could if he really wanted to. But Shi De is his motivation. A person who is always better that you can be very frustrating but when you're at the top, you won't feel like you have a goal worth fighting for. So, Shu Yi wants to figure Shi De out and that's why he accepts the job. Because he doesn't need a job. We've all seen, Shu Yi is very rich. He doesn't need money and it's not like he cares much about others. So, the only explaination is that he wants to get to know Shi De (because Shi De would've never released the video) and the hatred from the beginning wasn't really one. In fact I think Shu Yi never hated Shi De. Shi De is too nice of a person to be hated and even Shu Yi is not that cold. He hated that Shi De was better than him but doesn't hate him as a person because he relies on him in everything.

What I ask myself is if Shi De has a emotional disorder too or why is he acting so strange? First, he falls for a kid that showed slight concearn towards him. Secondly, he decides to beat this kid in every discipline just to be noticed. And he keeps going on like this for more that ten years. Thirdly, he maipulates Shu Yi to become his friend. He would even break a couple off and take advantage of it (I don't belive he was joking when he said that). Or maybe he's just very socially awkward but it seems a bit weird and he lived in a fantasy for most of his life. A fantasy that could've easily become reality if he would've just talked to Shu Yi instead of making him angry and hating him. What was Shu Yi supposed to think? How would he ever realise Shi De likes him? And the way he tricked Shu Yi into becoming his page boy was so cheeky. Filming someone during a heartbreak just to have a reason to spend time with him is a bit odd and I think Shi De enjoys himself a bit too much sometimes. He does this move with basically blackmailing Shu Yi in such a sassy way and turns into the bastard Shu Yi thinks he is, it's very funny but not socially smart. Shi De is such a weirdo that I ask myself if he has an emotional disorder or he is just very, yeah, weird.

This whole show seems like Shu Yi is the protagonist but they just tricked us into believing that. Shi De is the real protagonist and Shu Yi is just portrayed in his perspective. I mean, they both are the main roles but it's more about Shu Yi from Shi De's point of view. That's why there aren't as many examples for the bad sides of Shu Yi because Shi De thinks "he's just cute". It all starts with Shi De's voice talking and then Shu Yi gets introduced. But the first scene we see Shu Yi is a scene in which Shi De is also seen. And Shi De's mom gets introduced at some point. We don't know Shu Yi's dad. We only know him from one scene and this scene seems to be important because it's the moment Shu Yi's dad comes to the picture. Shi De never knew him before, but now he does and we see him. And the special episode underlines this even more because even if Shu Yi is in the wrong when he saw Shi De sitting there with a baby in his arms, we never get the feeling that Shu Yi is in the wrong. Shi De is always blaming himself and only sees the mistake on his side. He apologizes to Shu Yi several times and thinks he did something very wrong. I mean, he broke his promise but what I want to focus on is that Shu Yi is never portrayed as wrong. Even though he misjudged the whole situation, Shi De thinks him being mad is his fault.

We best love is really good because of the acting, the story and the characters. It all makes it a masterpiece with special feelings. Like I said, there's no drama in the usual way. Shu Yi overhears Shi De is going to America but he doesn't go away in silence and is mad at Shi De who wouldn't know what happened. No, he stops hiding and instantly asks him like normal people in a healthy relationship would do as well. Who is mad at their partner without telling them why? That's not how relationships work and that's also not how this show works. It's a big pluspoint for me because I'm sick of all the senseless drama to fill another two episodes. Every movie or series is like that and I'm relieved We best love is not. Also, the non-existence of the inner conflict and homophobia is nice to see. I mean, of course, many people have problems with outing themselves because of their environment or they struggle with admitting it to themselves and that's very much okay. And it's good that shows address these problems but not every environment is homophobic and not everyone has the struggle of self-acceptance. It was nice to watch a show that has none of these conflicts and made their love seem rather normal than something out of the ordinary.

I'm waiting for the second season and I hope they will figure everything out and be completely honest with each other because they still keep a lot to themselves.

#we best love #we best love: no 1 for you #we best love: fighting mr. 2nd #shu yi #shi de #shi de x shu yi

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set-spike-and-win · 3 years ago

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Episode II

“So, what are your plans for today?” My father asked when I sat beside him on the couch.

I looked over to him with a smile before I answered, “I’m gonna get ready to pick up Soyeon in a few minutes and after that I’m going to the park with Chaeyoung.”

“Seems like you have a lot on your plate today,” he chuckled, “but haven’t you been out with Chaeyoung yesterday?”

“Yeah but that was with the team, today it’s just the two of us,” I explained, taking a sip from my coffee which stood on the table before I continued the conversation.

My alarm clock rang, reminding me that I had to start driving now. I said goodbye to my parents and told them that I’d be back late today since I didn’t know how long I’d be out today.

My mother gave me my car keys and told me to enjoy my day before I headed to the car.

The ride took about 45 minutes and I was lucky that there wasn’t any bad traffic. It was quiet in the car until my phone rang, I put on speaker to focus on the road before me.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I just wanted to ask if we’re still going to the park today,” Chaeyoung explained, the noise in the background letting me know that she was at home.

“Of course, why’d you ask?”

I could hear her sigh before she replied, “Jennie told me that you’re picking up Soyeon for the tournament, I thought you’d rather do something with her.”

“I’m picking up Soyeon because she wants to visit her grandparents who live here,” I explained, “I would’ve told you if I couldn’t go.”

“Alright then, I’ll see you later,” Chaeyoung said goodbye.

“I’ll see you,” I answered before I hung up the phone.

I arrived about 5 minutes later and stopped the car for Soyeon to get in. It took her a while to get her things in the trunk of my car which slightly annoyed me because I knew that she was doing this to tease me.

“Finally done shortie?” I smirked when she sat next to me in the passenger seat.

“Yeah, finally done,” she answered, choosing to ignore my nickname.

The first ten minutes of the ride were quiet as I was focused on the road before me and Soyeon was lost in her thoughts while she looked out of the window.

I saw her shifting in her seat from the corner of my eyes before she spoke up, “You know Y/n…”

“What is it?” I asked, my eyes not leaving the road.

“I saw the video of the qualification finals,” Soyeon started, making me raise my eyebrows.

“So?”

“You and the setter, what is her name?” She questioned.

“Chaeyoung, why?” I replied when we rounded a corner.

“You two seem pretty close,” Soyeon muttered and turned away from me.

“We get along well and I love the way she sets which I guess makes us a great team,” I explained.

Soyeon huffed in response which confused me if I’m being honest but I chose not to ask her about it.

We arrived about half an hour later and I dropped Soyeon off at her grandparents house.

“Have fun,” I said, giving her a smile.

“Thanks,” she chuckled as she disappeared in the door.

I drove to Chaeyoung’s house. Without Soyeon in it, there was only the music in the background that was making a bit noise.

“Hey Chae,” I greeted when I knocked on her door.

She gave me a warm smile before she hugged me, “Hey, I’m so happy we get to do something alone now,” she said.

“Me too, should we go?” I replied before we started to walk down the street.

There was this new tension between me and Chaeyoung, it wasn’t uncomfortable or anything but I wasn’t used this warm feeling I got when she laughed or even just smiled.

“Y/n?” I heard her voice, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“What’s wrong?” I answered, looking down to meet her eyes.

“It’s quite cold outside, don’t you think?” She asked.

“You think so? I think it’s pretty warm,” I smiled before I gave her my jacket, “Take this.”

Chaeyoung put on my jacket before we continued to walk towards one of the bridges in the park.

“It’s so beautiful here,” She smiled, her eyes sparkling, something I only saw when she really got into one of our games like she did three days ago.

“Indeed,” I agreed, stepping closer to her.

Chaeyoung looked up to me before asking, “Are you excited about the next game as well?”

“I definitely am, I mean, we still have four days to prepare but I can feel my fingers tingling at the thought,” I answered.

We decided to warch the water flowing unser us, a comfortable silence surrounding us.

Sun had already started to set when we continued to wander through the park for a good two hours.

It must’ve been around 12 am when we walked the streets back to her house, just enjoying each other’s presence as we talked about the evening.

I said goodbye when we reached her door, giving Chaeyoung a hug before I walked down the steps towards the car.

“Y/n wait!” She called out when I was about to get in.

“Your jacket,” Chaeyoung clarified when I raised an eyebrow.

“Keep it,” I smiled, “It looks better on you.”

She nodded and went back into the house as I drove out of the driveway.

I saw Soyeon walking down the street not too far from my house. I rolled down the window before I gave her a smirk when she noticed me.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were with your grandparents,” I asked.

“I wanted to practice my setting at the beach,” she answered while she kept walking beside the car.

“Get in, I’m sure you need a spiker,” I smiled, opening the door for her.

“I’m not allowed to go with strangers,” she smirked before she got in anyway.

“Wow, good girl listened to her parents,” I laughed, the faint blush on her cheeks going unnoticed by me.

“Shut up and drive,” she commanded as I started the engine.

I laughed and did as she said, driving down the street. The beach was the perfect place to practice especially at night when nearly nobody was there. Luckily, it didn’t take long to get there with the nearly empty streets and the fact that I knew a shortcut to a hidden part of the beach. It was surrounded by trees and the wind wasn’t strong, perfect to play volleyball.

“There we are,” I announced as I got out, the smell of the ocean already filling my nose.

“How did you know about this place?” Soyeon asked as she came up behind me.

“I lived here for years, genius,” I smirked as I took the ball from her hands.

“Hey, give that back!” She called out before she started to chase me around in the sand.

Laughter filled the air as we ran around, trying to avoid running into each other’s arms. Even though she was significantly smaller than me, she caught up fairly fast, catching the ball to finally start practicing. Time seemed to fly as we tried out different attacks we learned over the years. Some of them worked perfectly as we performed them a lot when we had the time to do so, some other didn’t work as good but that didn’t stop us in the moment. The moon stood high over the quiet ocean when we finished the game and decided to sit down in the warm sand and talked over the most random things.

We played in the same team during middle school before my parents decided to move for my mother’s new job. At first, I hated everything, new people, new school and the new volleyball club but the thing that disturbed me the most was the fact that I couldn’t play with Soyeon anymore which could easily be seen in the way I played. All of that changed when I met Chaeyoung though, we were clicking instantly and soon played together like we did for years.

“You know,” Soyeon mumbled as she leaned her head against my shoulder. “I still miss you. I mean, my teammates are great but it isn’t the same without you, it hasn’t been ever since you left,” she admitted.

I smiled as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “You don’t think I miss you like crazy?” I chuckled, “You were the reason I decided to continue to play volleyball and I really don’t think you’ll ever know how thankful I am for that,” I said.

It was true, I always had a talent for volleyball, from my parents point of view but Soyeon was the one who awoke my passion for it.

“That was the nicest thing you ever said to me,” Soyeon smiled before she pulled me up with her.

“Where are we going?” I asked when I followed her.

“Home, I wanna make sure my grandparents don’t call the police and tell them that I’m missing,” she joked, making me laugh.

“Alright, I’ll drop you off,” I smiled before I got into the car with her.

Next Game: In four days

——> Previous <> Next, Masterlist

#blackpink imagines #blackpink scenarios #blackpink x reader #gidle imagines #gidle scenarios #gidle x reader #stray kids #volleyball au #y/n

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entitycradle · 3 years ago

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A Tree Without Wind

Content warnings: mention of, discussion of, threats of, and plans to commit suicide. Panic attacks, disassociation, and paranoia are described, sometimes in detail. An eating disorder is alluded to. Characters are horny for each other but there’s nothing sexually explicit.

I promise the ending is hopeful. I genuinely am not trying to trick you, I know what this sort of thing is like, I want to respect your capacity while still being truthful to the experience and allowing tension in the story. If you’re in the right place for it, click that button.

A TREE WITHOUT WIND

I was nine years old the first time Phoenix told me he was going to kill himself. Is that too brutal? Sorry. It's where this starts. We were outside, in the morning before it got too hot, kicking around a ball in the scrubby grass. We used the long shadow of the I34Q tower to make the rules--you can't use your hands if you're in the sun, that sorta thing. It was fun because the boundaries of the shadow were always moving with the shape of the tower, and because the tower was a little scary. Phoenix lost a game and just said it, frustrated, "I'm gonna kill myself." I laughed.

When I was that age I loved looking at the shadow of the tower, because it made so much more sense than the real thing. You'd look at the dark, fuzzy stain on the ground and you could imagine it was some sort of antenna, or house, or marker. But then you'd look at the structure itself and your eyes would glaze over trying to figure it out. Unevenly rotating, stacked polyhedral structures, dark gray but covered with a rainbow film like an oil slick. Irregular pieces would be transferred between different sections with no apparent pattern. It smelled like someone you'd never met. The tower was doing something but no one was ever clear on what. That's how it is with I34Q stuff, I think.

I'm stalling. It was some stupid shit, he must've picked it up from some awful caster or something. As a kid Phoenix liked that sorta thing. He'd watch videos of mean people cursing and laughing and he'd laugh with them. I preferred my cartoons, or the I34Q casts, as weird as they were. Later I repeated what he said when I found out my dad was making squash for dinner, "I'm gonna kill myself," and my mom told me off pretty hard. Kept me from saying it again, at least in school and at home. Phoenix kept at it though.

- = -

Phoenix and I got put in the same dormitory when we went to T-school. Do they call it T-school in other places? It's the thing where 4Q tanks (as in I34Q) come and take a bunch of eleven-year-old kids to stay at "training" facilities. No one I've asked knows what T-school is actually for, same as the towers, same as all the 4Q stuff like I said before. An organic shape attached to the ground heads a classroom, gibbering except for the occasional english sentence (Phoenix said he also recognized some Cantonese). Mrs. Lough, who apparently also lives in the facility, tries to teach "formalist english," which is like english but the rules contradict themselves. You take notes on the behavior of a tank filled with inky fluid for four hours a week. One day a three-legged machine packs up your stuff and shepherds you to the gate.

I was ejected a year and a half after Phoenix. I went home on the bus and met him at burger king that afternoon. I caught a glimpse of him from outside. His hair was in long, tight braids. I felt self-conscious about the uncontrollable smile growing on my face. "Aco!" he said through a grin as I opened the glass door. A green poster advertised a meal made from "water beads," an I34Q plant thing.

"Dang," I said, grinning as I sat down. "Dang."

"You make it out? Fuck you to 4Q?" He'd stopped eating to greet me. His grin looked as uncontrollable as mine. Phoenix's nose was wide and flat, also like mine.

"Fork you, 4Q." I still felt nervous about cursing. I was fourteen. "How ya doing, Phoenix?"

"I'm good, I'm good. High school is interesting."

"Oh, man..."

"It's actually like, fucking nice to understand what's happening. But now there are actual smart kids and you actually get punished when you, y'know, mouth off. I'm like, I gotta get around to--" He swiped with his hand, bent his neck, and made a cracking sound with his mouth. I laughed. "Don't worry, I'll show you around. Maybe we'll have a class together."

- = -

We did have a class together. High school with Phoenix was fun, because I got to have a proper crush on him. Pining, sexuality, youthful obsession, yards and yards of it. It was weird, we kinda drifted--Phoenix hung out with kids that I was afraid of, I hung out with kids who played too many videogames. As our familiarity waned, I started seeing him differently. A foreign, adult desire began to penetrate me, replacing childish affection. It took me a while to realize that's what was happening.

It was a shame our familiarity waned, though, because Phoenix was really struggling, and I didn't see it. His friends were mean, when they weren't outright abusive. Not a lot of people liked him. I learned later that he started hurting himself when he was sixteen. Little cigarette burns, and then cuts. He got put on meds at seventeen--the wrong meds, for a year. He went to a psych ward when he was nineteen. His family did not have the money to pay for an extended stay. I still don't know exactly how that worked out. I do know he went into debt after his second stay two years later.

I wasn't doing too well myself, after I hit twenty-two. Something in me broke I guess. So when Phoenix told me he was going to travel to the Santitos digger and throw himself off a cliff, it didn't take me very long to ask if I could go with him.

- = -

"I... I didn't..." He paused for a long time. Ten seconds of silence feels unbearably long in a conversation, and I was quiet for fifteen. My teeth held each other tightly as his thoughts whirled. "I didn't..." He looked me in the eyes. There was an intensity to both our gazes. He'd stuck his jaw out, just a little. "I guess I did. I was, kinda, hoping you'd say that."

"Fuck," I said, looking away and down. "Fuck." I put a hand over my eyes, gripping my face as tears came.

"I'm gonna die," he said, beginning to smile and looking up. I felt the discomfort I'd felt since we were nine.

"Yeah, I wanna go, I wanna go," I said, pulling my hand away midway through and looking back at him with a force I didn't recognize.

He looked back at me and said, "I'm gonna die, and you're gonna die with me."

- = -

The Santitos digger is in northern California, in the Redwood national park. People have figured out the basic idea of what the digger is doing, unlike the towers or the T-schools: the digger is making a big hole. I'd heard that in some places it had dug more than a mile, almost straight down. Don't ask me how the digger would've done that. Don't ask me why it's called Santitos, either, since it's pretty big and not very saintly. Maybe it was the name of a town. Getting to the digger from Prince George County was about fifty hours.

"I figure we could do it in three days if we really fuck-you-pushed-it. But I'm planning on five." I craned my neck to look at Phoenix's cracked phone screen, where he'd pulled up the route.

Gas is expensive because 4Q takes most of it. Basically no one flies. Even in Phoenix's hybrid, it would be a thousand dollars to get to the west coast. But it's not like we'd need the money afterwards.

"We'll eat along the way," he continued. I bit my thumbnail. "I'm not picky, we'll just stop at wherever they won't run us out of town."

We'd sleep in the car. It was April, so temperature wouldn't be a concern. I packed a change of clothes, a water bottle, my meds, and a box cutter I'd stolen from my last job.

The next morning, he pulled his blue, dented '38 prius in front of my apartment building. I saw the car arrive out the window. There was an anxious pit in my stomach that deepened when I opened my front door. I didn't want anyone to see me. This is it, I thought, this is it, this is it. I repeated that phrase down the stairs. My landlord could fucking charge rent to my corpse, I could give a shit. This is it, I thought. That final T stretched to enrobe me. The sky was gray and wet. The sensation wasn't enough to rip me from my inwards reverie. I was about to get in the back of the car when Phoenix spoke. "That ain't it."

He was leaning out the window, regarding me coolly. "Morning. Shall we go?" I walked around the car and got in the front seat.

- = -

Virginia is beautiful once you get into the mountains, forested and rolling. I told Phoenix, "Once I read the Appalachians are millions of years old, and used to be taller than the Himalayas."

"No shit. Was there like an Everest? Where's the old Everest?"

"I don't know, I never heard anything about that. But yeah the continental plates looked totally different. And then things changed and the rain and wind and plants broke them down."

"Hah. Fucking awful. Just being broken down like that. I mean, it's better than what 4Q did to Everest."

I was quiet for a moment. "That's... the worst thing they did, right?"

"I dunno, dude, I think taking kids from their families is worse."

"No, right, right. But like... Everest was like... like everyone knew about Everest. When I was really little I had this big book about mountains and I read the bit on Everest so many times. And now it's like... they made it about them. And people lived in the Himalayas before 4Q came! It forced everyone out and carved a bunch of nonsense into it. A forever reminder that we're below them."

"Hah, literally. Hmmm. I still wouldn't say worst, but, I get what you mean. I'm so numb to it. It's good some people still care." Phoenix shrugged. "I mean I dunno. It doesn't matter much to me, at this point. But from an outside perspective it's good."

That first evening was alright. I drove Phoenix into a beautiful sunset. You hear the phrase "rode off into the sunset" and you think, what a nice ending, but it's not really an ending. If you're the cowboy you keep riding, and eventually the sky darkens and you have to set up camp and eat and sleep and wake up the next morning and eat and go riding again. A feeling of dread and desperation fills me when I think of surviving alone like that. Maybe I'd get used to it. The trip to Santitos was an attempt to write a story with a proper ending.

We didn't stop until we crossed into Illinois. We parked on the shoulder of a country road. I used the light in the car to look at the atlas we'd bought for when we didn't have cell service, and laughed. "We've been in five states today. Pretty good. Keep it up and we'll have visited every state by June."

"What the--?" Phoenix snorted, laughing. "You mean if we visit five states a day. Asshole."

I always giggled when he snorted and called me an asshole. "Hey, I'm just saying."

"Fucking dumb. Doesn't even work. You'd have to wake up in a different state than you fell asleep in." He caught my eye. The smile felt intimate, mutual. Born of sleepy exhaustion from a shared journey. I looked at the divot between his nose and upper lip.

I realized something. "Shit, I forgot to bring a blanket."

"Poor baby. You cold?"

"Hmm. I guess not really."

"Oh, you know what I do have..." He leaned towards me and reached toward the back seat. I watched his shirt stretch over his chest. Phoenix retrieved a big gray sweater. "Feel free to stretch it out."

My fingertips touched the back of his hands as I took the bundle. I did that on purpose. His skin was warmer than I expected, as skin always is. We tipped our seats back. Not the most comfortable, though the sweater would help, hopefully. I checked out Phoenix to see him on his side, looking at me and smiling. I let my own smile relax into me as I watched his eyes. His irises were a rich, beautiful brown. His skin was the color of cardboard in your childhood memories. I loved the way his smile wasn't symmetrical, wider on one side than the other. I carefully resisted scanning my gaze down his body. I actually saw his eyes flick down my form, instantaneously. His eyelids half-lowered, and then, horribly, what seemed to be a great tide of sadness overtook him. I watched him hold it back. I watched his smile mix with growing grief and fear, then bow to neutrality. He covered his gaze with his eyelids, breathed in, breathed out. "All right," he whispered, then opened his eyes. The gaze was gone. "Time to sleep." He sat up and turned off the light.

The sweater had a very particular, subtle smell to it. I guess it was his smell. I was desperately horny, yet blasted to pieces. A heady mix.

"I think I could fall in love with you, if things were a little different." He broke the silence, fifteen minutes later. "I probably would. But I'd cling to you like a fucking baby. And you're here, right?" He paused. For a response? I didn't give him one in time. "That's what I mean, codependent hell. I'd only be alive for you, and you'd only be alive for me, and then the second anything goes wrong we'd be right back here except I'd, fucking, direct all my shittiness at you... and you'd blame yourself."

I was quiet. "Ain't... ain't being codependent better than dying?"

"Hah! But that's what I'm saying, it doesn't change anything, it just leads us back here."

I fumbled for something. "Yeah but if it could... like stave it off..."

"Why is that good? The world is fucked, Acoatl, totally and truly fucked. Things don't get better from here, for me, for people. Should I beg? Stay here in misery out of some misplaced sense of morality? We're doing the only thing that makes sense."

I stayed quiet, not unconvinced. Sleep came, eventually, uncomfortably, anxiously.

- = -

The International Astronomical Union provisionally called it 8I/2034 Q1. I had to look that up. The eighth interstellar comet discovered, identified in 2034. I don't know what Q1 means. The name was briefly changed to 8I/Pasarati, for the research group that had discovered it, but by that time I34Q was clearly accelerating non-gravitationally and on an Earthbound trajectory. 8I/Pasarati is still in orbit, technically. You can see it through a telescope, it's like five miles across. But I34Q is the name for all of it, the craft that came to the surface, the life it brought with it, the structures it built, the war, all the consequences. No one can make any sense of it, except the one thing everyone knows: something else controls the world now.

- = -

I just barely remember waking up to switch seats in the morning, and then desiring nothing more than to return to sleep. Eventually Phoenix nudged me awake. "Hey." We were parked somewhere in Missouri. I'd slept all the way through the night and Phoenix's turn to drive. At least twelve hours, depending on when I actually fell asleep last night. I'd missed the big arch in St. Louis.

Phoenix was curt and reserved as I drove. I thought he was still thinking about last night, or angry at me for leaving him alone on his drive. Then he tilted his head back and began to gag. "My... heart..." Tears streamed down him face.

"Phoenix." I glanced back and forth between him and the road. There were abandoned cars on the shoulder; I couldn't pull over. "Phoenix, Phoenix, um."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, stop." He bent, heaved, and emitted a yowling, harsh retch. Nothing else left his mouth. "My heart..." He was breathing hard. A panic attack, I realized, stupidly too late.

"Do we have..." Panic attacks can be interrupted with certain intense sensations. The general goal is to increase awareness of the environment, focus the mind on the current moment rather than the future or past. Holding an ice cube can help. There were no ice cubes. I reached into the back seat for my water bottle, which would at least be cool. A truck behind us laid on the horn. I swerved back into my lane. "Sorry." Phoenix dry heaved again. It was a uniquely distressing sound.

I searched for the hazards, feeling useless. Far too much time passed before I found them and started slowing down. A different truck laid on a different horn. I was able to slip in a gap on the shoulder between an abandoned pickup and a rusting minivan.

I led Phoenix onto the tall grass beyond the asphalt, where he collapsed onto all fours. His torso flexed as he heaved. I put a hand on his back. "Phoenix, look at the trees." There were bushy, broken trees lining the sides of the highway, a vibrant green against the blue and white sky. "The, listen to the road." No, the road was stressing me the fuck out. "Listen to the grass waving, feel it." Stalks crumpled in his fists. I twisted my head and saw the tip of an I34Q tower peeking up over the treeline. "Look, a tower, just like when we were kids." Over the next few minutes, his breathing slowed, his heaving stopped. But the tears stayed. He sobbed away the panic. I read somewhere that tears actually contain different chemicals depending on the emotion causing them. Something to do with hormones I think.

He apologized to me. I would've done the same thing. I've done the same thing. So I got it, but felt indignant at having understood--he didn't need to apologize!

We got back on the road and listened to static on the radio. Sometimes the edge of a station would pass by, and we'd get fuzzy country, or christian rock. I changed it whenever there was a sermon. Sermons always come back to 4Q and they're always awful. The 4Q broadcasts are actually better than sermons about 4Q. They're kind of like static, anyway, totally unintelligible. We encountered more of them than I expected. Maybe static itself is a 4Q broadcast. I don't think that's right, I think static is like cosmic background radiation. But maybe 4Q has changed it somehow, like it used to be white noise and now it's blue noise, a different random distribution but still random.

"I'm off my meds," he said, as we rolled into darkness. The moon was a crescent, low on the western horizon. He spoke flatly and calmly. "I didn't even bring them with me. I thought you should know."

I hesitated. I wanted to voice this diplomatically. But then, we'd be dead in four days, anyway. "Is that why you had the attack?"

"No. I panic even on meds." That made sense. I remembered a few times in the past year when he'd canceled an event with little notice, or left early. "But I'm not a person right now, and that's definitely because I'm off my meds."

"You're not a person right now?"

"Yeah. It's called depersonalization. Also derealization, which is when nothing is real. Or that's how it feels, as I'm told. It's pretty freaky if I'm honest. You don't get the same emotional reaction from stuff. It feels like you're watching from somewhere else." He wasn't looking at me. He was looking down. "You're not you. You're not even real." He whispered. "Pretty freaky."

"Can I--do you--"

"Ahh, I'm coming out of it. Some of it is just recognizing that you're in it." He drew a knee up to his chest and shook his head. "Uhh, could you. Could you hold my hand. Touch helps."

I gripped the wheel with my left hand and held his palm with my right. It was warm and sweaty. I wish I could say that was okay. I felt miserable. I wanted to feel happy, holding his hand, comforting him. I didn't.

Sleep came quicker that night, though still uncomfortable, still anxious.

- = -

I slept late, again. I hadn't touched the chicken sandwich I'd gotten from a drive-thru last night. It had awful 4Q stuff on it anyway. I hadn't eaten in twenty-four hours, so I was pretty hungry, but I had no actual desire to eat. I'd deal with it later.

My own panic attack must've seemed similarly unbidden to Phoenix, though I felt it coming about an hour beforehand, and tried to stave it off. We were on I-80, driving through the hypnotizing flatness of Nebraska. Every ten or fifteen minutes I kept seeing this scarlet structure. It was like a giant, bloody caricature of a water tower, a skinny, triangular column maybe ten feet across and at least two hundred feet tall, supporting an enormous squashed sphere more than twice as wide as the column was tall. I'd watch it rise from the horizon, far too big. I'd never seen them before but guessed they must be 4Q. I started thinking we were somehow traveling in a loop, that my sense of direction was faulty and we were passing the same structure in the same field over and over again. Then I started thinking about how crazy that sounded. But I couldn't stop the thought.

I wanted to pull over but I couldn't stop anywhere in view of the structure, because it was watching me. Of course it wasn't, but I couldn't stop the thought that it was. Hell, maybe it was. Maybe only the mad can decode the purpose of I34Q stuff. I felt how hard I was breathing and glanced over at Phoenix, wondering why he hadn't said anything. He was staring down. He was probably disassociating again, I realized later, but at the time all I knew was that I was alone.

I get angry at myself after my attacks. I feel so stupid. Phoenix apologized to me that night, which made me feel even stupider. I couldn't wait to get to the Santitos digger.

- = -

The next day was bad. Quiet, lonely, and frustrated. A further reminder of the reasons. I saw patches of 4Q purple grass climbing up the Rockies. We both took long shifts and entered Redwood park just after midnight.

- = -

I read a story once about a man that was falling in the dark. He was falling so far that he would die instantly when he hit the ground. He realized that his brain wouldn't have time to process the impact, or even the few moments before. And he couldn't see the ground. He couldn't see anything. All that was left in the world was him and his death. I wondered if Phoenix had read the same story, and was hoping for a similar effect, coming here at night. Of course, we got it wrong. There were clouds, burgundy with light pollution, and every few minutes a star would gaze through; an unearthly glow was cast up from distant pieces of the digger.

Some parts of the digger looked like the towers, spinning and shifting. Some parts looked like exposed microelectronics, cables sutured to shiny terminals of minute complexity. Some parts were just made of asphalt blocks, cream-, gray-, and lime-colored pebbles tightly embedded in dark tar. Distant redwoods, many damaged by fire, ringed the horizon. The Santitos digger was less an object and more a place.

I felt wordlessly close to Phoenix as we scrambled over asphalt, looking for a pit. We touched each other frequently in our effort, to assist, to communicate. We'd have to give each other boosts, lift each other up, look for alternate routes. This place was not made for people.

Finally we came upon a deep canyon. I had half a mind to walk off the edge immediately. But both Phoenix and I stopped to regard it.

I couldn't tell if the rumors were true. You could only see maybe a hundred yards down before the walls of the abyss disappeared into ink. Or, not ink--not blackness, either. People are black. This was something else. The most prominent features were the semi-perceivable red blotches left on my optic nerve after gazing at one of the digger's glowing sectors. The unknowable told me nothing. It just revealed the flaws of my being. Maybe we would achieve our effect after all.

"This is it," I said, elliptically. The beginning is the end. If you take out the 'h' that phrase is a palindrome. "That was the first thing I said out of the door before I got into your car on Saturday. If you take out the 'h' the phrase is a palindrome. The beginning is the end. This is elliptical. This is it."

"That ain't it." He was regarding me coolly.

I laughed.

He was angry. "Are you fucking kidding me? The point of this thing, the whole fucking point is you do it in your right mind. You're letting your madness make the decision for you. You have to make the decision!"

I found that extremely funny. I laughed harder.

"Shut up! Fuck!"

"What's a right mind?" I asked, still grinning. "There's no such thing anymore. Even when it was a thing, all it meant was the most socially-acceptable, capital-promoting mind. Now? The world doesn't fit us anymore. The human condition is inconvenient to its purpose. 4Q can't even train us. The right mind is a dead one. You want a right mind, go ahead." I gestured at the abyss. That's what I did.

He stepped forward. He stepped forward. A foot hung above the end.

I don't know what I would've done if he had lowered that foot, changing his balance, tipping him forward. Jumping in after him wouldn't have felt right. Maybe I'd have gone back to those red eyes in Nebraska and begged for them to torture me. Maybe his idiosyncrasies would have been repelled by the unknowable, flowing away from his body and into me, and I'd be lost forever in a derealized paranoia. Maybe I'd have gotten in the car and driven back home.

His foot remained, hanging, the edge a gallows. "Suicide is about pain. It's the ultimate response to ongoing distress. I never wanted you to be normal. I just didn't want you to be in pain. In a twisted way, I guess I thought, if this was your way of dealing with pain, I wasn't going to stop you. That is your right. I feel like that has to be your right." His balance was incredible. He remained still, a tree without wind. "But you can be abnormal, you can be a bad fit for the world, you can be utterly broken, and you can still live without pain." We're both crying. Tears descend into the pit.

| ' , |

I do think madness is the right way to understand I34Q. I feel this mysteriously. I wonder what it would be like if I tried going to T-school while embracing my altered states, living in them. I suspect Phoenix would have more success, being more comfortable with unreality. Not that either of us would participate in whatever hegemony 4Q perpetuates. More that we'd figure out what it wanted, and how to resist. I've been thinking about this a lot. Maybe other people are, too. We need to find each other.

Phoenix and I wandered north. We found this incredible queer community in Oregon, with actual traditions and mechanisms to deal with communal trauma. I can't say anything about the world, the world is unknowable. But I think there's hope for us.

Phoenix and I are together, now, in a way I can't quite name. We did finally make love. That was beautiful. But we don't live together. I make love to other people, sometimes, and he does the same. Sometimes I'll go a week or two without seeing him, without notice. Sometimes I'll go a few days without even thinking about him. I love him, and I tell him that, and he says the same to me, though both of us have admitted that we don't know what that means.

We still panic. I still get paranoid. Phoenix disassociates. He's been using the state to make art. I think about I34Q and write down what I think. I'm pretty good at eating regularly, even if I don't feel like it. I don't know if we're living without pain. I think maybe that's a pretty tall order. But I don't want to kill myself anymore. So I think that's pretty good.

[Ed.: have this little treat. It takes me about the length of this playlist to read the story.]

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5VD5lJJqNUJsITPj3Rg8Sn?si=d262096479104d4f

#fiction #short fiction #science fiction #aliens #madness #suicide #panic attack #disassociation #paranoia #eating disorder #hopeful ending

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hartigays · 5 years ago

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28. for the prompt requests if you’re still doing them💞💛❤️💗

28. “You’re being dramatic.”

(here y’all go ya filthy animals!!! just kidding i love u happy holidays)

“oh god. oh fuck. robin, robin, jesus christ. i’m - hide me.”

steve crouches behind robin’s small frame, desperately hoping that somehow she’ll become ten times larger and help hide him from view.

“what?” robin asks, sipping her eggnog. she arches a brow, twisting her head to look back at steve.

steve crouches lower, huffing out a sigh. “it’s my - it’s my aunt sheila. can you just - i just need you to hide me. please.”

robin purses her lips, glancing over at steve’s aunt. she’s making her way across the room, arms already outstretched and a wide smile on her face.

“what’s the deal with your aunt?”

“she smells like tapioca and constantly asks me who i’m dating,” steve explains. he can’t help but grimace at the thought.

robin snorts. says, “just tell her that you’re not dating anyone. i don’t see what the big deal is.”

“because,” steve hisses, “she always makes a big scene when i tell her i’m single. basically announces it to the whole room and tries to play matchmaker.”

“steve,” robin says, placing a hand on his shoulder. “i think you’re just being a tad bit dramatic.”

the thing is, he isn’t. his aunt sheila is a nightmare. at the last christmas party his parents threw, sheila had gone so far as to try to set steve up with one of his cousins.

though, in all fairness, sheila does drink a lot. and steve has about a million cousins, so it’s hard to keep track. but still. that christmas party was a disaster and a half.

steve is pretty sure that this one is rapidly heading in that same direction.

“no, you don’t understand - oh, hi, aunt sheila!” steve exclaims, righting himself and plastering on a smile that he hopes doesn’t look completely forced.

“steve, honey!” sheila coos, tugging steve in for a hug. “look at you, so handsome!”

she squishes him too tight, and steve can practically taste the stench of old lady perfume and tapioca on his tongue. he tries not to gag.

“heh, yeah...oh, right,” steve says as he wriggles out of her arms, scratching his head and gesturing towards robin. “this is my friend robin, we went to school together. we both work down at family video during the holidays.”

“such a lovely girl,” sheila says with a gasp, leaning in to pinch one of robin’s cheeks. “steve is so lucky to have such a beautiful girl like you.”

robin snorts into her eggnog, coughing hard enough that steve has to pat her back. “oh, oh no. i’m sorry, but i’m heather’s girlfriend. steve and i are just friends.”

steve cuts her a glare, but robin is too busy pointing out heather in the crowd. he opens his mouth to get in front of robin throwing him under the bus, but sheila beats him to it.

“oh, sugar. you’re such a good-looking young man, i just can’t believe no one has swept you up yet,” sheila tells him, aghast.

and so it begins. steve groans internally, knowing what’s about to happen. sheila will start tapping her wine glass to get the attention of everyone currently at the party, and she’ll talk steve up like he’s a fucking contestant on the bachelorette.

but. right at that moment, the sliding door to the kitchen opens, revealing a snow-dusted billy hargrove. he’s returning from the cold, where he’d been having a cigarette. though steve is pretty sure he’d just been trying to escape the mass of steve’s rich, snooty family members and friends more so than satiating his nicotine craving.

steve isn’t sure why billy had even agreed to come. sure, they’ve been best friends since they were kids, but billy has never had the desire to attend any harrington family event. it’d thrown steve completely off balance when billy had actually volunteered to come to this one, texting him to let him know he’d be ‘happy to come score a hot milf for the holidays’.

as happy as it makes steve to have both of his best friends here with him helping him get through the night, that particular comment from billy has been weighing on him. because billy isn’t just steve’s best friend, no.

steve has been in love with billy for as long as he can remember.

billy may be known as the town asshole, a womanizing hothead who’ll pick a fight with a toddler if it so much as looks at him wrong, but steve is just — he’s head over heels. can’t even begin to help it.

he even remembers precisely when it’d happened. they were about nine years old, playing video games up in steve’s room late one night. billy had kicked steve’s ass once again, cheering and bragging with the goofiest grin on his face.

billy had met steve’s eyes, his own big and bright and blue and filled with excitement. the greenish glow of the television set had illuminated the already sharp angles of billy’s face, and steve’s heart had melted in all the right places. when it came to their friendship, things were always different for steve from there on out.

they’re in their twenties now, away at separate universities, reuniting only during summer breaks and the holidays and the occasional mid-semester visit. in all that time, steve’s feelings have never wavered. he’s dated plenty of girls and guys since falling for billy, but each relationship has been tumultuous and short-lived.

steve wants to believe that it’s because he’s just picked the wrong people. but he knows the reality of the situation. it’s a sad reality - one where steve can’t have a steady relationship with anyone due to one simple fact.

none of them are billy. plain and simple.

it doesn’t stop him from trying, though. dating around and hoping to find a connection with someone stronger than the one he has with billy. but the truth is, steve’s ultimate dream is to be the one to approach sheila at any given harrington party — to be able to introduce billy as his. no one else has ever taken billy’s place in that particular dream.

it’s a silly dream. a hopeless dream. billy has been the town manwhore since he was fifteen, bedding anyone and everyone that suits him in the moment.

everyone except steve, that is.

at least tonight billy hadn’t made good on that vocalized desire to bed some older woman. he’s been lingering close to steve all night, strangely enough, save for the random moments where he makes a graceful exit to go smoke.

“i’m telling you, he’s such a bright young man,” sheila is saying when steve zones back in, a small group now clustered around them. steve recognizes them as several of the interns from his father’s company. “and would you just look at that face? he should have someone on his arm tonight, shouldn’t he? such a shame!”

billy is watching the scene unfold with an amused smile, taking a swig from his flask and arching a brow at him. steve just shoots him a desperate look, one that screams save me.

what happens next will forever be imprinted in steve’s memory. forever burned into his mind as one of the most defining moments of his young life.

“what’s all this, sweetheart?” billy says, smooth and casual, sidling up next to steve and wrapping an arm around his waist. “you trying to trade me in for one of these corporate goons?”

robin chokes on her drink again, this time having to excuse herself to find some napkins. steve is frozen in place, staring at billy’s profile with his mouth hanging open in surprise.

“billy hargrove,” he introduces, taking sheila’s hand and giving it a polite shake. really turning on the charm. “steve must’ve forgotten to mention he brought his boyfriend along this year. isn’t that right, babe?”

“i - he - we just - ” steve breaks off when billy elbows him, coughing. “um, yes. this is my - this is billy. my...boyfriend. yes.”

sheila looks at billy with stars in her eyes, giggling and blushing just like every other woman when they find themselves in billy’s presence. “oh my, aren’t you just the most handsome thing i’ve ever seen? steve never mentioned having such a striking young man by his side. i’m steve’s aunt sheila.”

“it’s a pleasure to meet you. and yes, he’s like that,” billy tells her easily, pulling steve in flush against him. “so modest, never one to brag. i have to say, though, it’s just another reason i love him so much.”

steve’s heart feels like it’s about to beat right out of his chest and plop onto the floor. he’s still staring at billy with wide eyes, his skin burning at every point of contact between their bodies. just hearing billy say he loves him, even if it’s not real, is enough to have steve’s head spinning.

“what can i say,” steve finally says, his voice weak. “i’m the only one who can put up with this one.”

billy rolls his eyes, but gives steve an endearing smile. and it all feels so real, so right, and steve just wants to roll himself in the feeling, wrap himself up in it and never forget what this feels like, because he’s liable to never have this again, and —

then billy kisses him. everything around steve falls silent, save for the faint ringing in his ears that hasn’t let up since billy started this whole charade moments ago. it’s just a gentle press of lips, the kind of kiss shared between veteran couples who don’t need excessive PDA to prove their love for each other.

steve’s eyes stay shut for a moment when billy pulls back, just reveling in the feeling. when he opens them, he finds billy staring right back. the expression on his face strikes steve to his core. because it’s almost like billy is seeing him for the first time, a look of pure wonder and adoration written all over his face. one that steve desperately hopes has some shred of truth to it.

sheila is still in front of them, practically vibrating out of her heels in her excitement. “oh, just look at you boys! i’m so happy for you, sweetie. it’s wonderful to see you so in love.”

“we’re truly blessed,” billy acknowledges, milking this for all it’s worth. steve has to smother his snort. “but if you wouldn’t mind, me and my best guy need to go grab some gifts from my car. right, honey?”

“y - yes. lots of gifts, so many. so little time,” steve rambles while billy tugs him away, giving sheila a half-hearted wave.

when they make it down the steep driveway, finally reaching billy’s camaro, steve lets out a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding.

“your best guy?” steve questions with a small smile, the first to break the heavy silence. “think maybe you overplayed it a bit?”

billy just shrugs, still watching steve like a hawk. still looking at him like it’s the first time he’s ever really seen him. “she bought it, didn’t she? thought that was kinda the point.”

“thank you,” steve acknowledges, slumping against the camaro. “she’s - i dunno why she’s always been so obsessed with my love life. she’s always trying to get me laid every time she comes around.”

“that a bad thing?” billy asks, mildly amused. he pulls his cigarette pack from his pocket, retrieving two smokes. he passes one to steve, keeping the other for himself and lighting up.

he takes the lighter when billy passes it to him, his gaze staying trained on his feet. “i mean, i guess not. they’re just...”

billy looks at him expectantly, his head tilted ever-so-slightly to the side. “they’re just...what?”

steve takes a long drag off his cigarette, holding in the smoke for a long stretch before breathing out. he’s stalling, but finally meets billy’s eyes. says, “they’re just not who i want.”

“why not go after the one you want, then?” billy asks, taking a step closer. watching steve with curious eyes.

steve sucks in a deep breath, goosebumps erupting across his skin. “i’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way.”

“how do you know?”

“they’ve never...” steve trails off, pressing himself even farther back into the camaro with every step billy takes. getting closer and closer. “they haven’t shown any interest.”

billy is now completely up in steve’s space, standing between his legs. he’s so close that steve can feel the soft puff of his breath across his cheeks. billy runs his knuckles across steve’s cheek, his touch feather-light, before moving to thumb at steve’s bottom lip.

“‘m pretty sure he just did,” billy murmurs, his gaze fixed on steve’s mouth.

steve doesn’t have a chance to answer, because in the next moment billy is closing the distance and capturing steve’s lips in a bruising kiss.

the whimper that escapes steve’s lips would be embarrassing, if it weren’t for the fact that such a simple noise causes billy to crowd in closer, cradling steve’s face in his hands and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth.

he threads his fingers through billy’s curls, his tongue making its way into billy’s mouth and making a home there. steve maps out every inch of him with his tongue, delighting at the little shiver that runs down billy’s spine as he does.

billy breaks away first, moving to nose along steve’s neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses to every inch of exposed skin.

“i’m sorry,” billy mumbles into his skin, his teeth grazing over the thin skin covering steve’s pulse-point.

“for - jesus - for what?” steve pants, one hand still knotted in billy’s hair, the other grasping onto one broad shoulder for dear life.

“for not not seeing until now.”

steve pushes billy back gently, still holding onto his shoulder to keep him from moving away completely. his brows furrow in confusion. “i’m not following you. seeing what?”

“how much i - um.” billy pauses, scratching his head. looks up at the stars, his cheeks tinged pink. “how much i care about you. or whatever. you’ve been here this whole time and i’ve just...been a fucking idiot.”

“billy,” steve says softly, leaning in to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “it’s okay. i’ve always loved you, in a lot of ways. just having you in my life was enough for me.”

billy looks startled by steve’s words, his mouth dropping open just a little. he just searches his eyes for a long moment, and then, “you’ve been waiting all this time? for me?”

“maybe not waiting,” steve tells him, shrugging. “but hoping, i guess. that i could have this, someday. if i’m being honest, though, i was always okay with the possibility that you’d never feel the same. ‘cause i’d still have you in my life. you’d still be my friend, and that was enough for me. still is.”

“but you want more?” billy asks, a hint of desperation weaving its way into his voice. “with me?”

steve laughs, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to billy’s lips. he lingers close after they break apart, his eyes still shut. when he opens them, he finds billy staring right back. “of course i do.”

“can we?” billy’s voice is soft and small. completely uncharacteristic but sweet enough to make steve’s heart do a funny dance in his chest. “me and you?”

in lieu of a response, steve just laces their fingers together. a lighthearted giggle escapes his lips as he nods, his eyes still locked with billy’s.

and billy? he looks so relieved that steve almost cries for him. because steve gets it. maybe billy has just realized these things in the last hour, whereas steve has known for half his life. but the paralyzing fear of not being wanted by the person you care about most in the world?

that’s a feeling steve understands all too well.

they linger out in the driveway for a little while longer, before heading back to the house, hand-in-hand.

“i’m sorry for making you wait,” billy is apologizing again as they cross the threshold, only to be cut off by robin and heather.

“nuh-uh,” heather tsks, pointing at something above their heads.

steve looks up to see a fresh bundle of mistletoe now hanging above the entrance to the living room. he and billy are directly under it, their hands still locked together.

when they kiss again, it feels like everything between them has solidified. like the deal has been sealed once and for all. and it has been, because not only had they established it outside, but billy also makes it known in the way he kisses steve. like he’s a rare treasure, a delicate artifact that billy wants to keep discovering for the rest of forever.

steve thinks he’d be okay with that. he pulls back, pressing a few quick, gentle kisses to billy’s lips before he speaks, his smile soft and warm.

“it was worth the wait.”

send me a number + a pairing!

#thank you for the request sorry it was so delayed 🤪 happy holidays!! 💓#harringrove #my fics #ask #anon

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k-llama-llama · 5 years ago

Text

Movie Morning

TXT AU: 6th member

Sara x TXT

Sara makes plans for the group...which they kind of don’t know about.

A/N: Please check out my PATREON (patreon.com/kllamallama) for exclusive posts you can’t get anywhere else, as well as lots of other cool benefits!

Requests are closed, but your feedback is still greatly appreciated!

Masterlist and other Follow Me links in bio!

Sara finished laying out the pyjamas on the boys beds, beaming in satisfaction. They’d been out all day, at school and then they’d gone to an arcade. She’d gone out for coffee with Sumi, and then hurried home to finish her plan.

A few weeks ago, Kai had dropped a hint that he wanted to watch Christmas movies as a group. And when they’d told her that they’d all be back together at six o’clock today, Sara had set her plan in motion.

She’d bought them all matching Christmas onesies, ordered chicken (which she never let them do), made popcorn, and downloaded ten Christmas movies so they could pick which ones she wanted to watch.

She’d already pulled on her own onesie, and went and sat herself down on the couch. They should be home in about fifteen minutes, and she couldn’t wait to see their faces.

It wasn’t like Sara to plan a surprise. The boys would never say it to her face (well, maybe Yeonjun would), but she wasn’t exactly known for being the fun older sister. Even this morning, when they’d mentioned they were all going to an arcade, none of them had bothered to invite her.

She probably wouldn’t even have wanted to go. She didn’t like video games at all. But they’d all left with a short ‘we’ll see you tonight, noona’. No questions asked about if she wanted to join, or if she had her own plans, because she was boring, and would always just be at home waiting for them. It hadn’t hurt her, but it didn’t escape her notice how she was never really included in any fun plans.

Sara hugged her knees excitedly. Wait until they saw her surprise, because she would prove that she could be fun, and that she could be cool too.

It was half past ten when the boys finally stumbled through the door, shaking off snow and kicking their boots onto the ground.

Taehyun collected them, setting them on the mat. “Soo-ji will kill us if we get snow everywhere.”

“Do you think she left us dinner?” Beomgyu asked.

“She might’ve left leftovers in the fridge.” Yeonjun said. “I hope that .... woah, did she order food without us?”

“Soo-ji ordered food?” Soobin walked into the living room, spotting the boxes of chicken. “Woah, is she sick or something?”

“It’s cold.” Kai confirmed, pulling a piece out of the bucket. “Should I check her room?”

“Yeah, see if she’s okay.” Soobin nodded, the younger boy taking off.

The leader turned to Yeonjun. “It’s not like her to order food. Was she too sick to cook something?”

“Maybe she had a friend over?” Yeonjun suggested. “Sumi was here, and then they went out for their secret project or whatever.”

A tiny sigh came from the other side of the couch.

“Huh?” Beomgyu peered over. “I found her.”

“She’s not in her-”

“We found her.” Taehyun interruped Kai as they all headed over to the couch.

“There’s onesies on all of our beds.” Kai said, holding up his. “Did she leave them there?”

Sara was passed out on the couch, completely wrapped up in a blanket. Her lipstick was smeared all over her face, and when Soobin peeled back the blanket, he revealed a onesie identical to the one Kai was holding.

“Noona?” Soobin poked her shoulder. “Are you sick?”

She rolled over to look up at him, blinking slowly as she took in the five boys peering down at her.

“Hey, you’re home!” She smiled. “Sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep.”

“Were you waiting up?” Yeonjun asked. “And why did you order food?”

Sara looked over at the cold buckets of chicken. “I thought we could have a movie night. But..what time is it?”

“Almost eleven.” Soobin answered.

Sara sighed. “We can just watch the movies another night. You guys can eat the chicken, I’m going to bed.”

She pushed herself up, standing up from the couch and stretching. Her onesie hung too big on her frame, making her look even tinier than usual.

“Wait!” Taehyun protested. “We can watch a movie now!”

“It’s too late.” She shook her head. “Eat up, we’ll watch tomorrow.”

“If you’re sure.” Yeonjun said uncertainly.

Sara just nodded, heading towards her bedroom and falling directly into bed.

The first thing she was aware of in the morning was someone pulling on the top of her bun.

Her eyes cracked open, looking up at Yeonjun. “What is wrong with you?”

He snapped the elastic on her bun. “Get up. We have a surprise.”

She let him pull her out of her bed, and only once she was on her feet did she take stock of what he was wearing.

He held out the fabric of his red patterned Christmas onesie. “You like it? You’d better, since you picked it out.”

“Looks great.” She rubbed her eyes. “Can I go eat breakfast now?”

“No.” Yeonjun pushed her out towards the living room. “Surprise, remember?”

“Noona!” Taehyun called as soon as she entered the room.

Him, Kai and Beomgyu were all sitting on the couch. The blinds were drawn shut, and a carton of milk and a bowl of cereal was sitting in the only empty spot.

“What’s this?” Sara asked, heading over to the couch. “It’s...what...nine in the morning?”

“No, it’s movie night.” Soobin corrected, coming out of the kitchen, holding a tray full of mugs. “I can’t make tea as good as you, so I went with hot chocolate.”

Sara blinked. “What is going on?”

“We felt bad.” Kai said, reaching and pulling her around the couch. “We told you we’d be home and you made plans, and we let you down. So we’re having a movie night now.”

“At nine in the morning?” Sara raised an eyebrow.

Yeonjun smacked the back of her head. “Just enjoy it. Family time, or whatever.”

Sara glared at him, but wrapped her arms around Beomgyu. “Family time, then. What are we watching?”

“ELF!” Kai shouted. “I want to watch Elf!”

“Elf, it is.” Soobin took a seat on the floor, grabbing a blanket. “Everyone ready?”

“Ready!” Sara tucked her feet behind the leader’s back to keep them warm. “We should do this more often.”

“Sure, just let us know first.” Yeonjun told her. “Because I really wish we had ice cream right now.”

She threw a piece of popcorn at him. “It’s breakfast. You can’t have ice cream for breakfast.”

He snorted. “Try and stop me.”

“Jun!”

“PRESSING PLAY!” Soobin interrupted. “Shut up and watch.”

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hidelaney · 5 years ago

Text

Hi Delaney!

Ah, yes the quarantine. It’s getting to me. Definitely. Suddenly I have no office to go to. But it’s good, I think. Make the CEO realize the upper management has no literal reasons to keep us in the office. Like at all. Seriously, everyone from my team is working from home and the level of productivity is actually better. Because guess what? Not having people breathing down our necks is SUPER helpful. So HA!

Okay, about Larry Stylinson. You’re right, I did fall into YouTube Blackhole. And Twitter. And I just watched 1D San Siro concert. By watching, I mean I actually paused the work I’m doing and looked at the screen while it played. Admittedly I was also doing chores but! It wasn’t just background music! It counted!

When I said I could put Larry Stylinson in a microwave and be done with it, I mean the theories and compilation videos are so readily available and easy to digest like, comparable to instant meals.

It’s so neatly packaged, too. Like, I was introduced to Larry Stylinson basically yesterday. Now I could recite the storyline in my head whenever I please. Or when I want to please you, in this case.

Let’s see if I can get it all summarized down here. FYI, I’m borrowing your assumption that Taylor was in on it the whole time. And Eleanor, too. Because I actually know of her existence now! Character discovery! Except they’re real people so I feel the need to point out that I’m making all the assumptions all over the place. I’m doing this for you, my dear Delaney.

Keep in mind that we all need character growths and personal developments when I make non-flattering assumptions toward your favorite people here, ok?

First up! HS & TL met in a toilet.

Now it’s debatable whether it was during an X-Factor audition or Battle of the Bands. For the sake’s of my next argument, I’m going with they knew each other before X-Factor. Likely during their time in White Eskimo and The Rogue, respectively. Their (unconfirmed?) first words to each other were ‘Oops!’ & ‘Hi’

Up next, the X-Factor audition and getting put together in a band.

So here is where I kind of needed my first assumption for this to work. Their chemistry was so obviously through the roof. It made so much sense if they were already sort-of friends and then got put together in a band. Plus, I don’t think the way Louis jumped into Harry’s arms is something a relative stranger would do. And if they only knew each other out of everyone there, it’s no wonder they were both so apparently clingy and codependent. It’s like a situation where both of them went ‘I have no idea what’s gonna happen next, but at least I know you and you know me. So we’re bestie now. No take back!”

And then there’re video diaries, twitter cams, radio interviews, and other broadcasting media they appeared in. These need no explanation because you’ve probably seen all of them and I have functioning ears and eyes. So, yes, I saw videos of them being all disgustingly cute all over the place. During the so-called ‘Fetus’ phase (a wording which I personally find rather disturbing, no offense to your anatomy textbooks or anything.) They’re so sweet. Especially whenever there’s a mention of how they moved in and lived together. Their interactions must’ve been responsible for so many tooth cavities. So many aww-worthy moments. On stage, on screen, behind the scenes, potato cams. Basically everywhere in front of everyone.

Then 1D blew up and were well on their way to become their label’s biggest and brightest BCG-metrix star. It’s not hard to see why investors’d be invested (lol) in employing every marketing strategy possible to keep 1D in the spotlight.

There’s a twofold marketing exploitation to Larry Stylinson that I see from miles away.

Hard sell the heteronormative version of the boys. (To capture major market shares)

Never had Harry or Louis explicitly confirm nor deny their relationship status. (To capture additional market shares with queerbaiting)

But let’s say Harry and Louis were actually together and making 1) too difficult to achieve. Otherwise this whole thing falls apart like a wet house of cards.

Thus, here came what I’d like to call ‘dousing a fire with gasoline’. This is where there’s a sudden drop of their interactions in public and Larry Stylinson isn’t a cutesy smashup name of two boys who got along like a house on fire anymore. This is the part where a ship turned into a full fledged conspiracy theory. And it’s MEGA COOL WICKED awesome.

I say this in the nicest way possible. A tragedy is the grandest form of entertainments. Misery loves having friends.

Also, I’d like to say this. I’m having fun thinking of this as a fictional arc. Because I still feel like it will shatter my heart in to a million pieces if anything resembling what I write next was true.

Since breaking into US market was the Kickstarter into a global one, to the US 1D went.

This was where the heavy closeting got way more difficult to handle. Elounor had the excuse of Eleanor being a private citizen and therefore should be left alone for the most part. Haylor was the complete opposite. Taylor Swift was and still is an American Sweetheart. Harry Styles might have been the most famous British Harry if it weren’t for a (former?) prince and a wizard. (Seriously, we should not call any of our hypothetical future children ‘Harry’ unless you thought ‘Albus Severus Potter’ was a good idea. Poor kiddo.)

The saddest part about Harry Styles public image was how reminiscent of Emma Watson it felt. The minute they turned eighteen, their media portrayals immediately became hyper-sexualized. Suddenly, they left the human zoo into an open hunting game. Famous lives are terrifying.

Anyhow, say, Taylor Swift knew what the US music industry was like. She’s been playing the long game for quite some time. She got to know Harry and then became rather protective of him. Her conclusion was that ‘hyping up Haylor’ would: 1) increase media exposure for both Taylor and 1D which would translate to bigger channels of revenue for all involved, 2) hold the speculation about Harry’s sexual orientation at bay because, as horrible as it sounds, gays don’t sell in America.

This one fit nicely with your ‘Out of the Woods’ interpretation. Taylor wasn’t just spending time with Harry. She was actively enforcing the lock on the closet. Which explains why Louis seemed to resent Taylor quite obviously and quite a lot. His own heteronormative scripts with Eleanor had been relatively tame. Harry’s whirlwind series of romances in public had only just begun.

As Harry started gaining a womanizer reputation in earnest, so did the Almost-Subtle Couple Tattoo Sprees.

If ‘Always in my heart @Harry_Styles . Yours sincerely, Louis’ tweet was a sign that circumstances were about to go south for them. The tattoos were signs that the circumstances had already gone to shit. The tragic package had been shipped, signed, and delivered.

This is where non-flattering assumptions rise to the surface. I think 1D had been overworked past the point of exhaustion. Self-destruction as a coping mechanism became rather prevalent and pervasive within the band. The boys gleefully collected regrets as a new favorite pastime, some more than others. Consequences were nipping at their heels.

Then Zayn left right in the middle of a world tour and all hell broke loose.

Here comes the biggest Assumption Affair!

Louis and Liam, the last to release their solo debut albums, were the most prominent songwriters for the band. I’m not going to go on about Liam because I’m here to give you Larry Stylinson. And this is already way too long as it is. But, needless to say, the first discussion of a prospective solo career probably hit them the hardest.

If each song they wrote was a battle scar, Louis was still bleeding for the band when Harry, of all people, brought up the idea of a hiatus and solo careers. Realizing how many songs Harry already had waiting in the back catalogue must’ve felt like a slap in the face. Or a punch in the gut. Whichever you think is worse/more dramatic. I’m not picky.

Remember self-destruction as coping mechanism? What about relationship-destruction as coping mechanism? Louis cheated and had a baby with someone else. Infidelity at its finest.

ALERT! THIS IS A NEON SIGN OF ASSUMPTION AFFAIR! Please don’t kill me. I told you I was gonna make unflattering assumptions toward your favorite people. I just did as I promised!!! *run for cover*

Anyway...

I’m gonna take you back a little. I mentioned earlier how Eleanor was a private citizen and therefore should be left alone. At times when Louis desperately needed to be left alone, Elounor makes so much sense. If she’s a PR-only girlfriend, she’s a stellar employee. If it’s not just a PR thing, she’s as forgiving as a saint. Just, if it’s Harry and Louis, they likely both messed up and hurt each other badly. If it’s Louis and Eleanor,... I mean... Have you seen a meme where you misspell a word so badly that the autocorrect goes, ‘I don’t know what to tell you, man’?... Louis would be that misspelled word and Eleanor would be the very best autocorrect that practically brute force through every word in the Oxford AND Urban dictionary to find out what that word was. If that’s who she is, then bless her soul. However, for the sake of this argument, we will proceed with the assumption that she’s the star employee of the decade.

Losing loved ones and grieving for them are inevitable parts of human lives. Nothing put more things into perspectives than losing someone so fundamentally dear to you. When I heard Louis Tomlinson’s ‘Two of Us’ for the first time, I remembered walking through an actual forest my grandpa planted for us because he wanted to make sure his great grandkids would have a nice home to grow up in. Do you remember when you called and told me that he died the night I got on my first solo international flight ten months after the fact? I wanted to hate you for keeping something this big a secret from me. I wanted to hate everybody at home for that. But then you told me that it was what my grandpa had wanted. That he didn’t want me to be a sad sack of an exchange student. That you decided to not listen to my parents and call to tell me just before I was due home. So that I’d have time to feel hurt about being lied to. So that I could get all the angry words out. So that I wouldn’t scream at my parents when I got home and learnt the truth. So that you could take the brunt of my grief instead.

I just took a break to have a little cry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. You did the best you could for me when I lost my grandpa. I still managed to effectively shut you out for months. Just because you were the messenger of the bad news. What I’m trying to say is that grief changes people. It changed me. For the worst for a bit. And then for the better once I came to term with what it means to me. There’s a quote from Rosamund Lupton that sums it up neatly.

“Grief is love turned into an eternal missing.”

I guess this is the part where I connected the dots back to Harry and Louis. Well, their music definitely give grief different names. Both albums talk about coming to term with it and moving forward. Every songs they wrote could be woven to fit the narrative of Larry Stylinson and events surrounding them. If you buy the theory, then the good news is both Fine Line & Walls seemed to have a positive ending. One thing I know for sure, though, is that no matter how convincing a conspiracy theory maybe, it could all be built upon a faulty assumption. I’d probably have a way easier time disregarding Elouner if I didn’t have you as a solid proof in my life that, yes, people like the best autocorrect exists. It’s funny how I feel no hesitation at all in categorizing Haylor as a calculated move. Because in my head that’s just par for the course in business. And it genuinely terrifies me in a way. Who the hell I could’ve become if it weren’t for you knocking me off the ground and pouring kindness on me.

I know I skipped a lot of stuff. Missing names like Caroline, Danielle, Kendall, Freddie, Camille, Xander, etc. But HS and LT have a decade of history on public record and, frankly, my interest ran out four paragraphs ago. So just let me conclude this.

I think it’s tiring, spending this much time speculating on someone else’s relationship history. I must admit that I had to get it out of my chest because it was way too interesting to let go off. But now, I feel like I’m just going to stream Heartbreak Weather and listen to ‘No Judgement’ on repeat. Nile is my favorite non-problematic celebrity. I could spell his name so wrong and it probably won’t be an issue as long as I politely say, “Sorry, Mr Niall Horan”

This quarantine clearly leaves me with too much time on my hands.

Virtual hugs and kisses

Your Incredible Sasha 😘

#larry stylinson #haylor #elounor #aimh theory #larry #i hope you like this #in this essay i will...

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secretlittlerandezvous · 5 years ago

Text

The PR Girl - Charlie Coyle

Summary: Charlie meets a mysterious yet beautiful and playful girl. He later finds out she’s a friend of the team staffs and meets her few more times before taking it further.

Note: I hope I somehow managed to cover the “worker’s friend” aspect. This is honestly my favorite thing I’ve written so far and writing it was so much fun. Thank you for requesting 🐻💛🌈💘

Words: 2070

“You are a mystery to me, yet so familiar. Like a song I’ve never heard before, and a tune I’ve known my entire life.”

Charlie didn’t mean to stare at her for so long and so often. Hell, he never looked at any girl so many times before. Sure, he met quite a lot of beautiful ladies but not a single one of them captured him the way she did. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t take his eyes off her, she was enchanting. She looked sweet and soft, yet she would probably fight with the whole bar if she had to. Her skin was glowing, and her tanned skin looked heavenly in the lowlight of the bar. She was for sure the most beautiful woman he ever saw. He couldn’t get enough of her. Her dress went up every time she moved in the rhythm of the music or whenever she sat down and crossed her legs under the table. He enjoyed the view at her long toned legs. He smiled to himself when she threw her head behind laughing at something one of the men who kept her company said.

His heart skipped a beat the first time she caught him looking at her, she looked him in the eyes and gave him a daring look. Charlie realized she must’ve felt his gaze on her body the whole evening. But it didn��t look like it bothered her, she enjoyed it. She knew she was attractive, and she liked to act cocky around men, out of pure boredom usually. She enjoyed how easily she could wrap any man around her finger, and she laughed at their naivety.

Charlie together with most of the players and some of the team staff were having a little party. Charlie knew for sure the mysterious girl wasn’t part of the team staff and he was almost sure he never saw her at the TD Garden before. He would’ve known if one of the boys brought her with them. She truly fascinated him.

When Chris joined Charlie at the table he got caught up in the conversation and forgot all about her and so when he finished his bottle of beer and turned around, he found himself disappointed when she wasn’t there. He cursed himself for not finding enough courage or rather audacity to go and talk to her, he wished he looked at her more often and he most importantly wished he knew who she was and who she came with. He didn’t mean to be creepy but if love at first sight existed then this was it. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with just adoring someone, right?

Half an hour passed, Charlie was alone, sitting on the bar chair, sipping lukewarm beer completely lost in his own thoughts, half asleep when he noticed someone sat down next to him. He could smell the perfume even though the scent of alcohol and smoke strongly lingered in the air. Much to his surprise, it was her. She didn’t look at him, she didn’t even acknowledge him. She just sat there with a shot of whiskey and smiled at the bartender who was skilled enough to randomly start a conversation - something that Charlie wished he could do too.

“I’m Y/n,” she put down the empty glass leaving a red lip stain on it and turned around at Charlie. “Charlie Coyle, right?” She smiled.

“Yeah, yeah that’s me.” He mumbled nervously and she chuckled sweetly at his shyness.

“So, you can talk after all hm? I almost lost all my hope that you would ever talk to me.” Charlie couldn’t tell if she was serious, joking, teasing or if she was being just rude and trying to embarrass him. “I think Chris exaggerates a lot.” She added after a while.

“I’m sorry? I don’t think I understand.” Charlie shook his head, nervously ran his fingers through his hair and took another sip of the disgusting warm beer just so he didn’t have to look at her.

“We were just joking around. He said you couldn’t stop looking at me and he swore you wouldn’t find the guts to talk to me.” She put her hand on his shoulder and smiled at him again to calm him down. She noticed how uncomfortable he looked and almost felt bad for acting the way she did. But really just almost. “Billy invited me. He said it would be fun but I lost him almost immediately. Then that group of men invited me to their table. And now I’m here.”

Billy. Billy? Billy from the PR team!

“I think he’s probably just talking with someone who could make the Bruins look even better in the public eye.” Charlie finally relaxed when the tone of her voice changed and she wasn’t acting as cocky anymore.

“Even better? Are you sure about that?” She raised her eyebrow at him and then took a sip of yet another shot of whiskey. “Ever heard what people think about the Bruins?” She laughed.

“It’s pretty much all on Marchand. The rest is quite nice.” Charlie and Y/n both turned around when they heard a loud “hey” and laughed when they saw Brad pretending to be hurt that Charlie was talking about him behind his back.

“Are you and Billy dating?” Charlie couldn’t believe this sentence really left his mouth and he felt embarrassed for a second for forgetting his manners.

“Dating? No, we’re just friends. Met in school a couple of years ago.”

“So, you’re in the public relations too?”

“Yeah, got my bachelor’s degree in public relations and surprisingly stuck with it.” She laughed at herself, shaking her head in disbelief. “I hardly ever stick with something... or someone.”

“You get bored really easily huh?”

“Bored, tired, fed up. I don’t even know anymore. I guess it’s just hard for me to find things or people who can keep me satisfied.”

“Was that a Grease reference? I swear if Brandon was there, he wouldn’t shut up about Grease.”

As the night progressed Charlie got so used to her personality that he could fully relax and talk to her without fear of messing it up or saying something inappropriate. She wasn’t of the sensitive type.

“Well, pretty boy, it was nice talking to you.” Charlie watched her long toned legs carry her away from him, she looked so effortlessly sexy and beautiful, the high heels she wore added to her charm. All she left behind was a napkin with her name written in cursive and a phone number on it.

It took Charlie ten days to text her. He debated whether it was not too late and that maybe not texting her at all was a better option. But after he talked to Chris who pretty much told him he would be an idiot if he didn’t, he changed his mind and quickly texted her. She replied five minutes later.

Pretty boy can write texts too? You keep surprising me ;)

Charlie tried to fight back the smile forming on his face, but he couldn’t help it. He enjoyed her snarky comments. They ended up texting for the rest of the day and then every day for five days straight. Charlie learned she worked in a big company, got a great position after her internship and she was currently dealing with shit tons of papers - her words, not his. She came from New York, lived alone in an apartment complex three blocks away from Charlie’s place. She had no pets although she wished she had a dog. She was 25.

Charlie and Y/n met a couple of days later when she just came from work and he was on a way home from Brandon’s where they played video games. They met at the newest grocery store and instead of continuing in shopping they ended up going to the nearest restaurant for dinner. She had a full face of makeup, her long hair was straightened, parted in the middle. High heels and red lipstick reminded him of the first time they met. Charlie noticed the men staring at her, adoring her beauty and felt quite jealous as if they were checking out his girl. Charlie, just as other men glanced at her as much as it was possible but unlike them, he was the one sitting in front of her.

She was playful around them, she enjoyed the attention she was receiving for a bit but got bored of it soon. She started acting completely different and focused on Charlie. She was sweet and kind and funny.

The third time they saw each other was at the TD Garden. Charlie saw her on his way to the locker room talking with Billy. She had a pile of papers in her hands and it seemed like they were going over something important. Charlie wasn’t sure if she saw him, but he decided not to say anything and disappeared in the locker room.

When he was on the ice, he spotted her in the lodge with Billy. Charlie just realized it was the first time he saw her in jeans and a Bruins hoodie, hair in a high ponytail but the red lipstick was still present on her lips. She smiled brightly when she noticed him and held out a sign.

THE NICEST GUY(s) IN THE LEAGUE.

There was a black and white picture of the whole team, Charlie’s face framed in a red heart and Brad had angel wings and a halo above his head. It was made to look a newspaper and it was the nicest sign Charlie saw - though he could be biased.

After the game, Charlie hoped he would see her somewhere around but found Billy instead, waiting for him to give him the newspaper sign.

“Charlie? Can I talk to you for a minute?” Billy asked and continued talking after Charlie nodded. “I know it’s none of my business, but I noticed that you and Y/n talk quite a lot lately,”

“Wouldn’t say quite a lot but yeah,”

“Look, I know her for a few years now and I know how she is around men and you know... she likes the attention but she’s a really great girl. It’s just an act you know? She never takes it too far.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed she likes the attention, but I never thought she sleeps around... not that it’s any of my business if she does.”

“I’m just trying to say that if you like her then don’t let it scare you,” Billy chuckled. “She usually calms down when she gets to know someone.”

The fourth time they met was when she spontaneously knocked on his apartment door with a bottle of wine for them to sip throughout the night. She wore black faux leather leggings, a simple white shirt, and a red sweatshirt. Her hair was in a low bun and she had no makeup on. She was just as beautiful as any other time he met her. They sat on the floor and talked while sipping the wine and they both felt unusually comfortable in each other’s presence. A rare connection between two people who hardly knew each other but could talk about anything with ease. It felt like they knew each other before.

“I see you kept my newspaper,” she smiled as she glanced at the sign she made for him. “I did a pretty good job, didn’t I?”

“You sure did,” Charlie smiled at her and adored her face before she turbed around to face him again. “Where did you go after the game?” He had this question on his mind for a while and couldn’t wait to get an answer.

“My sister broke up with her asshole boyfriend and wanted to meet,” she shook her head. “She drove from New York to Boston and stayed for a couple of days.”

“Go on a date with me,” Charlie blurted out and completely ignored the topic of their conversation. Maybe it was the alcohol that gave him the courage to ask for what was on his mind, maybe it was because he really wanted this a lot or maybe it was the power of the moment between them. “Please.”

“Okay.” She whispered, got closer to him and kissed him softly.

“I gotta say a thank you to Billy for bringing you to that party,” Charlie laughed and kissed her again.

#charlie coyle #charlie coyle imagine #charlie coyle one shot #charlie coyle writing #charlie coyle imagines #boston bruins #boston bruins imagines #boston bruins one shots #boston bruins writing #boston bruins imagine #nhl players imagines #nhl writing #nhl imagine #nhl one shot #hockey writing #hockey imagines #hockey one shot #hockey imagine #🐻💛

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vmheadquarters · 5 years ago

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We’re still playing our game of written hot potato! Dozens of your favorite authors are taking turns to tell a Veronica Mars mystery story. Each writer crafts their chapter and then “tosses” the story to the next person to continue the tale. No one knows what will happen, so expect the unexpected!

Follow the “vmhq presents” and “murder we wrote” tags for all the installments, or read the story as it develops on AO3. --Chapter Eighteen of MURDER, WE WROTE is written by @happilyshanghaied And stayed tuned next week for Ch.19 from @elliebear75 -tag, you’re it!

—————————————————————————————————— CHAPTER EIGHTEEN by @happilyshanghaied

Veronica hobbled over to the desk Mac was set up at and peered over her friend’s shoulder at the computer screen. “What am I looking at? I don’t see anything?”

“There.” Mac’s finger hovered over the bottom of the frame. A broadcast of the back door security camera rolled, time stamped 02:37AM. The picture remained static for a few seconds, but then the door flew open and Mac, bundled in a winter coat with her collar up, rushed out of the door, dropping it shut behind her. “This is right after I saw Leo’s body being taken.” With one swift keystroke she froze the playback.

“Taken? I thought you said you noticed he was missing?” Veronica turned to look at Mac so quickly she almost threw herself off balance.

“I—yeah. I mean, I couldn’t tell who it was, there was just a large shadow dragging another large shadow across the ice.”

“You actually saw somebody dragging him off? Why didn’t you say something earlier?” She demanded, unable to stop the sharpness from leaching into her tone.

“Oh I don’t know, perhaps it was the bludgeoning I received?” Mac sighed and pointed to the gash on her forehead. “I haven’t exactly been quick on the draw, Veronica.”

“Yeah, no shit. You told me earlier that you got attacked by an adult-toddler Lilly Kane. Must’ve been one helluva knock to the old noggin.” Veronica knew her anxiety was making her short with Mac and the guilt niggled at her. She waved a hand in the air between them as if fanning the tense exchange away like an unpleasant smell. “I’m sorry. Seriously. I think the...well, everything is starting to get to me.”

“Right there with you,” Logan piped in, a gentle brush of a hand across the small of her back reminding her that she didn’t have to shoulder this stress alone.

Veronica pressed back into his open palm and grounded herself, then turned her attention to Wallace. “Okay, so you both saw a large shadow dragging another large shadow across the ice, and that’s when you decided to follow them?”

“No, that’s when Mac decided to follow them, but I couldn’t just watch her get herself Purged by that big guy and do nothing.” Wallace pressed a hand over his heart. “My mom raised a gentleman.”

Veronica grinned at him. “And you call me a marshmallow.”

“I’m gangsta.” Wallace pointed the end of a half eaten licorice stick at Veronica. “Gangsta.”

“Okay, Tupac.” Her smile grew bigger.

Logan pursed his lips in thought. “If you ran after her, how come you ended up in two totally different places?”

“Do I look like Robinson Crusoe to you?” Wallace pulled two more licorice twists from his bag of Red Vines and wordlessly handed one to Veronica. “This island is big AF, and you can barely see two feet in front of you out there. Leo has to weigh about 170, and with the amount of drag a corpse that size would produce across an uneven snow bank, it’s not short work for anybody, regardless of their size. I just assumed the body snatcher pulled him across the ice, so I headed toward the docks.”

“But not you.” Veronica’s attention returned to Mac and she gestured to the video.

“Just watch.” Mac started the video again, and roughly 90 seconds into it, the back door opened again, and a person—undeniably, a man—rushed quickly through the frame.

“Can you go back and freeze on him?” Veronica’s heartbeat started to rabbit in her chest. This was the closest thing to an actual lead they’d gotten so far, but she knew a positive ID in the dark was probably going to be a stretch.

“I could, but it would be pointless.” Mac slowly scrolled the recording back and paused on the male figure; his face was downturned and angled away from the camera. “I’ve gone over it ten times. It’s almost like he knew where the cameras were.”

“Maybe he did.” Logan hooked his chin over Veronica’s shoulder and leaned in closer to get a better look. “My dad always had a knack for avoiding the security cameras at Casa Echolls whenever he went on one of his little amourettes in the middle of the night. The way he purposely turned his head as he walked directly toward the camera, that guy moves like somebody who knows their way around.”

“I didn’t notice any staff other than Jen and myself,” Mac reported. “A catering team was supposed to show up, but they got waylaid by the storm.”

Veronica’s fingers worried the strap on her bag as she tried to make sense of all the new information. “Okay, so besides the two of you and the missing boat captain, there was nobody else outside?”

“Not unless Mistress X is lurking around here somewhere.” Mac mimed looking over her shoulder.

“Right. We have just two suspects then—two men—based on their size and shape, and one of them may or may not be the boat captain. One guy was already outside, probably hunkering down in a nearby location until we all went to bed,” Veronica surmised, her stomach giving way to an uneasy feeling as a realization took hold. “And that means—it means the other man—”

“Was already inside the house. With us.” Logan exhaled a warm exhale against the side of her neck and a shiver ran through her.

“Well, fuck.” Mac picked up a nearby bag of ice and pressed it to her head with a wince. “If I didn’t already have a raging migraine…”

Veronica trusted Mac with her life, and she knew there was nothing her friend was holding back, so this left one other person who had possible insider knowledge of the murder and the players behind it. “What do you know about Jen, Mac?”

Mac shrugged, groaning as the ice shifted in the bag. “I know her social security, her grades, her blood type, credit card debt, past employment history, every address she’s lived at over the last ten years…”

Veronica huffed out a bemused laugh. “Anything you couldn’t have lifted off LexisNexis?”

Mac‘s brow furrowed in concentration. “She‘s... kind of a cat person?”

“You’ve lived with her for six months, and the only thing you’ve learned about her is that she’s kind of a cat person?”

“You know I don’t do—” She made a hand gesture that Veronica absolutely didn’t not recognize. “Not like those plebs out there. Jen seems nice, got me a security job working a few of these live-action Clue gigs, but we’re not, like, having pillow fights or scrapbooking together on weekends.”

Logan started at Mac, blankly. “Is that what you think normal women do together?”

“I hang out with her,” Mac said, pointing at Veronica. “Of course, I don’t know what normal women do together.”

Logan’s mouth fell open, but Veronica elbowed him lightly in the ribs before he could say something snarky.

“Okay.” Veronica reached out and touched Mac’s shoulder. “Is it possible that the blonde who hit you, the one you thought was adult-toddler Lilly Kane—”

“You are never going to let me live that down, huh?” Mac’s lips curled into a sardonic smile.

“I am not.” Veronica's grin echoed Mac’s, and she only just managed to hold back her laughter. “Is it possible that adult-toddler Lilly Kane could have actually been Jen? I mean, they’re both blonde...but only one of them has an adult shape.” She mimed heavy bosoms, then looked sadly down at her own meager chest.

Mac sighed loudly and nodded. “It’s possible, yes. I mean, I only caught a glimpse of her and had just gotten my head bashed in.”

“Great.” Veronica clapped her hands together once, punctuating the exchange. “I need you to go find Jen and do a ‘me’ with her. Can you handle that?”

“I assume that means charming her, or conning her into spilling all her secrets?” Mac looked visibly uncomfortable. “I’m not sure my brand of delightfully awkward is going to yield much success.”

“Hmm, if only I knew somebody extremely charismatic who could help you?” Veronica’s eyes slid toward Wallace, who had just finished swallowing his last bite of licorice.

***

Once Mac and Wallace were gone, Logan slid into Mac’s vacant chair with the grace of a cat, pulling Veronica onto his lap in one swift move. She pressed her face into the side of his neck and allowed herself a moment to get lost in his scent.

So much had happened, yet she’d barely had a moment to think about how this would work, what their old, new relationship would look like. Was he really going to transfer to be closer to her? How would he fit into her life at Stanford? And did it matter? They’d both given getting over each other the old college try. It hadn’t worked in high school, nor at Hearst, and she was woman enough to admit that this thing between them might just always be a part of her. Even when Logan wasn’t in her life, he was always present in her mind, teasing at the edges of her awareness like a phantom limb.

He snaked a hand up the back of her shirt and rested it between her shoulder blades, anchoring her to his chest. “How are you holding up?”

“Physically or mentally?” she asked, leaning over to press a kiss just behind his ear. “Not that the answer isn’t the same for both.”

His hand moved gently up and down her spine. “Dealer’s choice.”

She pulled back a little bit to look him in the eyes. “I feel like a shit magnet.”

His lips quirked, the way they always did when he found something she said amusing. “You are a shit magnet, as am I. I don’t know if it’s us or this town, but I’m beginning to think we should probably spend all our time together. Maybe only half of the Very Bad Things would happen to us if we were always in the same place?”

“That’s an interesting proposition.” She fingered the soft hair at the nape of his neck and wet her lips. “How would that work exactly? Would you sneak into my dorm room at night?” She inched her face closer to his. “Or would I go to you?”

His eyes dropped to her lips. “We could change to online schooling, telecommute from our bedroom.”

Her hand slid up his neck to cup the side of his face. “I don’t know, I feel like we might not get much work done with that arrangement, and I’d like to graduate one day.”

Logan broke into a laugh and closed the distance between them, kissing her deeply before dragging his lips down the side of her neck. She gasped as he reached a sensitive spot and threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging with a breathy sigh as he repeated the move.

He hummed against her skin. “God, the noises you make...if we weren’t living through an actual horror film right now…”

Deflated by the reminder, Veronica protectively cradled his head against her collarbone. “Somebody under this roof is a killer.”

He nodded, a silent response.

She thought of all the other men staying at the house: Luke, Dick, Casey, Cole, Norris and Duncan. They all had skeletons, to be sure, there was hardly anybody from Neptune who didn’t—herself included—and they all had the financial means to pull something like this off, but something wasn’t sitting with her right.

The level of focus on her was quite a coincidence.

And coincidences were nothing but the contrived intersection of planning, opportunity, and luck.

“Logan,” she started, unsure how to bring this up. “Those character sheets we got were freakishly accurate, no?”

His head pricked up at the question. “Too accurate.”

“I mean, I suppose if somebody wanted to, they could’ve figured out a lot of those details or hired somebody like Leo to dig around, but why would they?”

Logan’s eyes brightened as he immediately picked up her line of thought. “Cole never cared much about us and he still doesn’t, so I doubt it’s him. You actually helped Luke get out of a jam, even if it wasn’t in the way he wanted. I can’t see why he’d suddenly want to torment you several years later.”

“Dick is a dick,” she added, “but I know he’d never do anything to harm you, and by extension, me, so I feel like we can rule him out.”

“What’s the connection with Casey? You guys seemed awfully chummy for a bit during junior year,” he said, coyly.

“Oh, you noticed?”

“I always noticed.” He shot her a meaningful look.

She found a loose thread on Logan's shirt and toyed with the end of it. “I think he might’ve had a little thing for me in high school after I did that job at the Mooncalf Collective.”

Logan exhaled roughly in mock exasperation. “Casey, Norris, Leo, Duncan...I’m starting to feel a bit like one of your choir boys.”

“No.” She planted a kiss on his warm brow. “You’re leading man material.”

“Is that so?” That seemed to placate Logan, who dropped right back into sleuthing mode. “So, what do we think of Norris?”

“He’s a cop,” she said, as if this were reason enough to exonerate him.

Apparently, Logan didn’t think so by the way he balked. “So was Vinnie Van Lowe. And Don Lamb.”

“So was my dad,” she retorted.

“So was Leo...who sold me sex tapes of my dad and a minor.” His expression was incredulous.

“Okay.” Veronica held her palms up, acquiescing. She was now more convinced than ever that her dad might be the only honest man left in town. “Being a cop in Neptune, or...well, anywhere, I guess, doesn’t mean you can’t be dirty, but I don’t think Norris is a bad guy. He stood up for me when I was being bullied.” Logan looked away, cowed by the reminder of his past, but she turned his chin back toward her. “He’s just a sweet guy with some niche Japanese interests.”

“Throwing stars and katanas,” he reminded her.

“Did Leo look like he was murdered with a katana? Did Madison?”

“Okay. Fine. I trust your instincts,” Logan said, and a shadow crossed his features as he avoided her gaze. “But that leaves just one person, then.”

Veronica nodded, realizing where this was going and feeling just as skittish about it as he looked. “I know we’ve both kind of been avoiding speaking to him, but he hasn’t even said why he’s back. Or how. Surely, he didn’t risk jail time just to play Mr. Boddy at a shitty high school reunion party.”

Logan nervously shifted under her. “You didn’t ask him why he was here?”

“You’ve been with me the whole time. I know my communication skills aren’t great, but I feel like that’s something I would’ve mentioned to you.”

Logan looked as though he wanted to ask something but paused, the unspoken question hanging precariously in the air like a bubble moments away from rupture.

“Say it.” Her voice was calm and measured, but her insides were rolling with fear.

“Do you think Duncan could be a murderer?”

“Do you?” she shot back, unsure why she felt so defensive and angry about the idea.

Duncan was in her rearview mirror, and she was happy about it. The complicated feelings she had about him veered from affection to anger, but through it all, she couldn’t help but feel loyalty. It somehow felt like she was betraying Lilly for even thinking this might be true.

And what did this say about her abilities as a PI? Aaron, Beaver, Woody, Mercer—all malevolent people capable of unspeakable crimes, and she didn’t pick up on any of them until it was too late.

Logan shrugged, helplessly. “Before the two of you broke up the first time, I would’ve said there was no way...but the way he attacked Jake that one night after you split, how angry he was about not being with you? He was never the same after Lilly’s murder. He was like a brother to me, but I don’t know.” He shook his head, distraught at the suggestion. “I don’t know, Veronica.”

“Well,” she took a deep breath and pressed her lips against Logan’s for fortitude. “I think it’s time we found out, don’t you?”

***

When you were here before, couldn’t look you in the eye. You’re just like an angel, your skin makes me cry...

The faint strains of “Creep”, by Radiohead, eerily carried down the hallway, no doubt the ironic song choice one of Dick’s brilliant ideas.

Logan’s arm was wrapped around Veronica’s waist, carefully supporting half her weight as she limped toward the main room. She caught a glimpse of Wallace out of the corner of her eye, speaking with Jen by the wrought iron-framed picture window at the back. His hip was cocked as he leaned in and said something that made her chuckle, the friendly scene a stark contrast against the frigid and desolate landscape looming behind them.

Veronica wondered how easy it would be to hide amidst the snowbanks. With everything so white, any shock of color would likely stand out, even through the overwhelming snow. As big as this mansion was, from a distance, it was also just a shock of color—a garish slash of humanity bisecting the wilderness—incongruous and wrong.

Something was incongruous and wrong inside the mansion, too, but Veronica was too close to it all to get a good view.

Her eyes canvassed the room, skipping over the people who had tormented her in high school as she searched for Duncan. Even without the murder, this party would have been a nightmare.

Duncan was sitting by himself on a loveseat, gazing serenely at the view while nursing a hot drink.

What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here…

Veronica’s arm tightened around Logan’s back, and she angled her chin to speak with him privately. “He’s there, on the loveseat.”

Logan’s eyes narrowed in Duncan’s direction as he pulled her into a hug and lowered his lips to the shell of her ear. “How are we doing this?”

She didn’t answer right away, knowing he wasn’t going to like her suggestion, but her silence spoke volumes.

“No way.” His chest rose and fell, and his arms tensed around her. “It’s not that I don’t think you can handle this, but you’re injured.”

“I’m just going to talk to him, no sneaky spy business.” She knew the promise sounded as hollow as it was.

“What if he’s a killer, Veronica? What then?”

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes, whispering, “You know he’s more likely to talk if it’s just me asking questions, and you’re right here. If something crazy happens, you’ll just spring into action hero mode like you always do and save the day.”

“I don’t like it,” he said, weakly, with a frown, but she could tell he knew her well enough to understand that arguing against this was futile.

“I know you don’t.” She brushed an index finger across his downturned lips. “I promise I won’t do anything intentionally stupid. And hey, this is Duncan. Do we really think he’s some kind of villainous mastermind? He couldn’t even remember all his lines for the middle-school play.”

His eyes softened as he brushed a stray hair away from her face, letting his fingers linger on her jawline. “You know, it’s really inconvenient for me to love and hate exactly the same things about you.”

“I know.” She turned and kissed the side of his hand before gingerly taking a few steps back. “But, you love them just a little bit more.”

Before she could lose her nerve, she turned and limped over to where Duncan was seated. “Buy a girl a drink?”

“Veronica!” Duncan lit up at her presence, and he scooted over to make room for her. “I heard you’d injured your ankle. I hope it doesn’t hurt much.”

“You know, they say it’s exactly the same walking on sand and snow, but they would be wrong. There are no stray branches hiding on the beach.” She lowered herself slowly onto the seat, sighing as the weight eased off her ankle. “What are you doing over here alone?”

He sighed and peered into his half empty mug of hot chocolate. “This is a really weird weekend. It’s definitely not what I was expecting when I got on the plane to come home.”

Amazed she didn’t even have to work around to it, Veronica took the bait. “What were you expecting when you got on the plane?”

His expression was pensive for a moment, before he shook his head. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m aware a lot of time has passed, but I wanted to see you.”

“Oh?” She wasn’t sure she liked where this was headed.

“You risked everything to help me, and then I just—” His hands tightened around the mug. “I just left. I barely got to say a proper goodbye, didn’t even get to thank you.”

Veronica knew it was ridiculous to get sucked in by this act when so many signs pointed toward him possibly being a killer, but his stupid blue eyes looked so earnest and sad, and it was hard not to believe him. She’d always had too much of a soft spot for him.

“I knew.” She leaned over and squeezed Duncan’s hand. “I’m just happy we were able to get little Lilly away from Meg’s horrible parents.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and squeezed her hand back. “She’s doing really well.”

“I’m so glad. Speaking of,” she inched closer to him, “how did you manage to get past immigration with that arrest warrant they put out?”

“Oh.” He appeared genuinely befuddled for a moment, but then smiled brightly. “Mom took care of that.”

“I thought your mom was against you raising Lilly?”

He shrugged his shoulders, looking so much like the uncomplicated teen she once knew. “You know how she is when it comes to me.”

Veronica remembered how Celeste had covered up a murder she thought Duncan was responsible for, how she had sent Veronica’s dad to retrieve him in Cuba when he ran away, and how virulently she had tried to protect Duncan’s inheritance from Veronica’s potential paternity claim.

Was there anything Celeste wouldn’t do for her favorite child?

“I know.” Veronica smiled tightly.

They sat in companionable silence for a minute, still holding hands, watching the soft snow flutter outside the window.

But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo...

“Veronica...” Duncan turned toward her, a besotted look in his eyes that she knew very well. “Do you—do you love him? Logan?”

She looked down at their joined hands and quickly released Duncan’s, a sinking feeling taking hold of her stomach, then slowly raised her gaze to meet his. “Did you come back home for me?”

“What would you say if I said yes?” he asked, eyes hopeful.

She shook her head, both shocked and not. “I would say that at one time, I loved you very much, but I’m not that girl anymore.”

“Yes, you are,” he spat out, body slightly recoiling with the movement. “How can you be a different person? It hasn’t been much longer than two years. Who changes that much in such a short time?”

She steeled her nerves and turned to face him fully. “I haven’t changed. I don’t think I was ever the girl you thought I was. I’m not even sure you would have liked the real me back then.”

“So, you were—what?” he shot back, face beginning to flare with heat. “Just faking it with me?”

“No.” She grabbed his hand again, which instantly calmed him down. “I didn’t even know myself back then, Duncan. Lilly did, though, she always understood me.”

“Does he know the real you?” Duncan looked at a point over her shoulder, and she turned to find Logan watching the two of them with a stoic expression.

“Yes,” she said, as Logan’s eyes connected with hers. “He’s a little bit broken, just like me.”

Duncan seemed offended by the suggestion. “You’re not broken, Ronnie.”

“Broken isn’t bad, Duncan. Have you ever heard of the Japanese art of kintsugi?” Off his head shake, she continued, “They take broken pieces of expensive, intricate pottery and put them back together again, filling the cracks with gold and silver, making the new pieces stronger, even more interesting and beautiful than they were before.”

“And that’s you? Broken pottery?” he asked, in a mocking tone.

She shook her head. “Repurposed. Better. Stronger. You liked the perfect porcelain.”

“No.” His hand tightened around hers almost painfully, as he leaned closer and whispered hoarsely, “I’m broken, too. Just like you. I came back for you, the real you.”

Veronica was sick with guilt. She hadn’t asked for any of this, but she couldn’t help but feel bad, anyway. The last time he had seen her, she was still in love with him, and that image of her was clearly frozen in amber in his mind. “Duncan, I’m so sorry, but I lov—”

A loud, metallic crash against the other side of the wall was punctuated by a man’s haunting groan.

#veronica mars #veronica mars fanfic #vm fanfic #vmhq presents #murder we wrote #round robin

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potaetaezz · 5 years ago

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|| Sweet Like Coffee || 15

prev << >> next

pairing: Nct Dream x Reader [female]

genre/au: fluff | angst | enemies to lovers | Everyone is just a clueless bunch of weirdos, you get the drill… or so you thought.

warnings: slight swearing, immature content, underage drinking

A/N: its’s my first fanfic so no judgment lol | Longer Chp | here we go~

_____________________________________

You read the words over and over again until you couldn’t bear it. But your eyes wouldn’t leave the screen. Embarrassment kissed a blush to your cheeks. How could you ever face him again, after that? You didn’t even want to try and understand your meaning, your mentality. You just wanted to forget it, forget your words. The words that weren’t even true, you knew, you hoped.

Your confidence to say those words surprised you, but still, you’d give anything to take them back. The worst part of it all was knowing that he saw it. There was no hoping he didn’t, or praying he had his phone off. He saw it. He knew. And you couldn’t take that back. The embarrassment, the humiliation, you couldn’t stop them from overpowering you. At that moment you wanted nothing more than to hide in a pile of blankets, bury yourself in a book, and escape reality.

A grunt from Lila tore your eyes away.

“What’s that?” She was staring right at your phone, right at his name.

You dropped it onto the bed, “Uhh nothing.”

“Did I just see Jaemin’s name on your phone?”

“No. Nope.”

“Did it just read ‘I miss you’?”

“Don’t think so…”

“Y/n….”

“Well, you kissed Haechan!” It was the only thing you could think of.

“What’re you on about?” Her voice up an octave. You could see her smile building.

“What the fuck did we do last night.” She held her face in her hands, laughing. Or crying. Maybe both. She must’ve been confused as well. She peered through her fingers to look at you.

“You’re situation is still worse.”

“No shit Sherlock.” You joined in on the laugh.

You took out your phone again, reluctantly. Your eyes caught glimpse of your words once again before you pressed ‘delete’. You needed to forget. Perhaps the more you looked at it, the greater the chance you might trick yourself into believing it, believing the words. Maybe the more you read it, the easier it was to fall for your hearts trick.

“Just try to forget about it.” Lila said.

“I will.”

———

Monday [2:11pm]

It was safe to say, you didn’t forget about it, any of it. It rung inside your ears daily. You suffocated in the memory of your words, in his response - silence. There was no point in telling Renjun because nothing could save you from that, nothing could bring you back. It was your own mistake, your own humiliation, and you had to deal with it. That was the first day you were glad Jaemin wasn’t in. You were glad you didn’t hear him run in late for class, or catch his eye in the hall. You were grateful you didn’t see him. It allowed you to relax.

“Hello? Earth to y/n” Renjun said whilst waving a hand in front of your face.

He pulled you back from your daydream, brought you back to reality. It was just you, Renjun and Lila sitting at the cafeteria table

“What’re you doing for tomorrow?”

“What’re happening tomorrow?” You replied.

Renjun rolled his eyes, “Uhm your birthday.”

You never imagined you’d become so forgetful that you’d forget your own birthday. You’d probably need a Facebook reminder to remember it. Your mind has been so swamped lately. Confused and embarrassed and everything under the sun.

“How am I the one to remember your birthday?” Renjun laughed. “So what you gonna do?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know, nothing?”

Renjun let out a huge sigh, shaking his head. He almost couldn’t believe it. Stuck in thought attempting to comprehend the fact that you don’t want to do something special for your birthday. To you, a birthday was just another day of the year. It would be nice to hang out with friends, sure, but you didn’t need to. You would be just as fine chilling at home.

“We’re doing something.” He slammed his hands onto the table, a fire in his eyes, “Let me plan it.”

He looked so excited, how could you say no. “Fine,” you sighed, “but I’m warning you, don’t go overboard.”

Renjun never mastered simplicity. He was always extra, in everything he did, especially when it came to planning. But you loved it anyway.

———

Tuesday [5:48pm]

Ten said your present was on the way, but you knew he forgot.

You were grateful for Renjun hosting your birthday party because you couldn’t imagine putting the effort into it yourself. You were worried that it would be extravagance at its finest, and you didn’t even know who was going to be there. But you were grateful nonetheless. Walking up the steps, you wondered if Jaemin knew it was your birthday, you wondered if he cared.

But you waved that thought off fast, as the door opened for you. Renjun stood in the doorway, a birthday balloon in his hand.

“Good evening y/n.” he smiled.

“Hello Renjun.”

He passed you the balloon, and led you into the sitting room.

He turned down his extravagance just for you. There were a few balloons and party decorations scattered around the room, and music softly playing in the background. You noticed Lila sitting down. And all of a sudden, it was the trio once again. Nostalgia warmed your heart. But with the addition of Jeno and Haechan who were walking in with food, lots of food.

You remembered the bet, that awful bet. But you couldn’t hate it, you didn’t regret it. If it wasn’t for the bet you would never be there. It was the bet that brought you all together, surrounded by old friends and new ones. Surrounded by friends who cared.

There was already so much food on the table, but Haechan added delivered pizza to it anyways. Jeno was carrying drinks. There was a board game laid out on the table.

“I know I’ve banned monopoly, but this is a special occasion,” Renjun said.

He banned monopoly for good reason too. You tend to become overly competitive when monopoly is involved, you couldn’t help it. You may have just maybe hit Renjun across the face when he cheated. He forgave you, but it took a while.

You pulled Renjun in for a hug.

You had never appreciated him more than at that moment. You were so touched you could nearly cry.

“Nice gesture, but I don’t feel safe around monopoly anymore.” you said as you let go. You lost control around monopoly. You couldn’t deny it.

“Oh thank god. And you don’t feel safe? I’m the one that got hit!”

“Whatever whatever, but we’re not playing Mario Kart.”

“Don’t do this to me y/n, I just got better.” Renjun began to whine.

“Mario Bros?”

“I guess it is your birthday.” He tried to pout but ended up laughing instead. “Mario Bros it is.”

Before you could sit down to play, Jeno pulled you back by the hood.

“I didn’t forget.” he said. A book in his hand. “It’s the second part to the last one I gave you.”

“Did you underline your favourite parts?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Only for you.”

“Thank you Jeno.”

Haechan joined in, “I didn’t know what to get you, so I got you the one thing I know you love.” He handed you a set of coffee capsules.

“But I don’t own a coffee machine…”

“Just like- just open them up? No?”

“No Haechan but thanks for the effort.”

“Anytime y/n.” He smiled that innocent smile.

Lila swore she would give you her present tomorrow, and Renjun said the party was his gift to you.

All you guys did all night was play video games, ate pizza and chilled. But it was perfect. You couldn’t have asked for anything more. It was relaxing, and casual, and just what you wanted. You doubted how well Renjun knew you.

But something strange happened when you were watching them play.

Everyone was laughing, smiling. You joined in but something was pulling you back, isolating you. You were with everyone, but you felt alone. It was an emptiness growing inside you, harassing your emotions, pestering your mind. You tried to swallow it, but it was consuming you and your thoughts. You noticed Jaemin’s absence for the hundredth time that night, you could feel it.

You remembered the weight of his gaze, the look in his eye. You wished to smell the amber and musk once more, or to see the curl of his smirk. You craved to see him, to feel him. His absence was becoming too much. You were remembering, wishing too much. Your mind was a mess, your smile was dismantling, and Lila was beginning to notice. Her eyes analysed you. She realised.

“Do you want a drink y/n?” she called you out.

“Sure.”

You followed her out to the kitchen, until she stopped.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I just can’t forget about it.”

A chuckle escaped her mouth, “is that it?” She knew there was more.

You paused, hesitated, “I just can’t forget about him. Like what if it’s true? What if I miss him? Hell what if I like him? No I don’t, I can’t. I just I-“

“Stop spiralling. Breath.”

You took in some air. And then she hit you with the facts.

“You know Jaemin has a bad rep. You know he’s arrogant and cocky.”

“Jeno was like that.” you interrupted.

“But Jeno is different. Jeno has changed. Jeno didn’t disappear. You know Jaemin can be such a prick, you know that, but you don’t know much more about him.”

But she didn’t know Jaemin like you did. She didn’t know how close you two got, she didn’t know what happened. Lila didn’t feel the warmth and comfort when he wrapped his arms around you. She didn’t hear the hitch in his voice when he brought up his father. She didn’t see the vulnerability in his dark eyes when he basked beneath the moonlight. She didn’t understand.

“He’s bad news y/n, I’m saying this because I care for you. Just, try not to overthink everything, let your mind rest. He probably didn’t even take notice of the message.”

Those words hurt more than they should’ve, affected you more than they were meant to.

You took another deep breath and turned around. As you were walking back, Lila coughed, loudly. You heard a light switch click. And suddenly everything went silent. You stopped just before the door, but Lila pushed you from behind.

The room was dark, you couldn’t see anything. A flame grew in the darkness, flickering. And that’s when you saw it. The candle, the cake, everyone.

“Happy Birthday~” they began to sing.

You were comforted by the smiles on their faces, just by them being there. That was the first birthday where you weren’t embarrassed when everyone sang ‘happy birthday’. You had no reason to be embarrassed. You just enjoyed it.

Soon enough Renjun was holding the cake in front of you. The flicker of the flame taunted you. So you blew it out. Darkness cascaded around you. Everyone began to cheer.

And right there, in the midst of darkness, you made your wish.

———

The isolation you felt disappeared as you walked home.

But still, Jaemin popped into your head, flooded it. You wondered what he was doing, who he was with. All these questions yet you knew they would never be answered. It was becoming easier to think of him, think about him. You felt your grip loosen over your control, over your power. But whilst it was getting easier to wonder about him, it was getting harder to forget. About everything.

Before you entered your apartment, you noticed something was off. Something had been shoved into your mailbox, in a rush. You walked over and attempted to pull it out, but it was stuck. By the time you got it out, the wrapping paper had been torn off.

But it revealed something beautiful.

It was a book. The book you read with Jaemin, in his library, under the light of the moon.

A flurry of memories hit you. But warmed your heart as well. He remembered. He remembered it was your birthday. He remembered what book you read. He remembered you. A sense of urgency raced through your heart. Despite his disappearance, he made sure to give you a birthday present, he tried. Your heart fluttered. A burning desire ignited inside of you. A craving that you couldn’t get rid of. You had to do something. You had to thank him.

You started walking. You had no idea what you were going to say, but you had to say something. You had enough of his silence. Enough of his disappearance. You started to run. You forgot about your message, about his reputation. You forgot about everything, except for his face. His eyes, his smile, his hair. You had been suppressing feelings you always knew were there.

You hated Jaemin at the start, and maybe that’s why you hated your feelings. You hated that you cared, you hated how you noticed his absence, you hated how he had an effect on you. You were becoming like all the other girls, victim to his charm, fallen prey to his lure. But you didn’t care. Not anymore.

You witnessed pain on his face, you saw a part of him he kept hidden, you knew him. You were sure. He was good. You were sure.

You could only run so far before you arrived, standing in front of his house. It was dark, but you could always spot Jaemin. Your heart warmed.

He was sitting on the steps, head in his hands, the darkness embracing him.

You took one step closer. Still catching your breath.

He looked up, and you looked into his eyes for the first time in ages. You forgot how his features were carved by Aphrodite herself, how his eyes held all the stars in the sky. You forgot how intense his gaze was, how hard it was to hold. You forgot how good he looked. You let out a shaky sigh. He didn’t even seem surprised to see you.

“What’re you doing here?” he said. Voice empty, monotone, dead.

You just held up the book.

“Did you think I forgot?” There was no emotion behind his words.

“Yes.”

He looked down, letting out a soft chuckle.

“Look, y/n, you need to go.” Whatever amusement filled his voice before was gone.

“Where the hell have you been? What’s wrong?” you couldn’t hold back.

“You just need to leave.”

“Why?”

He stood up and began to close the space between you.

“I don’t have to explain myself.”

“If all you were going to do was tell me to leave why’d you give me a present? Why give me this book? You knew I’d come, so why?”

There was tension strained between you both. He took one last step closer. You looked up at him. The darkness in his eyes consumed you.

“If you read it you would’ve realised. It was a goodbye gift.”

“Are you going somewhere?”

“No. But I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what Jaemin? Make sense.”

“Your message? I can’t do that. I can’t reply to that. I know you know about the bet. That’s what this was. That’s why I kissed you. That’s why I tried. Did you really think I cared about you?”

You took a step back, shuddering at his words. He was different, he was cruel. It was becoming hard to breathe, his scent suffocating. You were drowning in your memories, in his words.

He leaned in close, so close you could almost kiss him. And he spoke in that low, husky voice:

“I told you you were going to regret this. I warned you.”

Before you could look him in the eyes, before you could respond, before you could breathe, you heard the door click. A girl came out, wearing a dress filled with roses, hair neatly did, makeup perfect. She was perfect. And she was staring right at Jaemin.

“Are you coming in?” she called out, not even sparing you a glance.

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

And he turned his back on you and he walked away.

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a/n: Jaemin has changed, clearly. What happened to him? Who is that girl? What did he write inside the book? Hope you liked it!!

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See you soon -> Thursday 14th xx

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