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#there is no obligation to like it. but also to pretend it has absolutely no merit and to force such bad faith interpretations
lizzibennet · 4 months
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personally the appeal of friends to lovers to me is that i like the idea of a person realizing they’ve always been a little bit in love with that friend, but they needed something to make them aware of it, to point out that that nice, warm feeling that they love about that person isn’t just friendship and perhaps hasn’t been for a long time. i love the idea of “of course i love you, i always have, how stupid of me to not have seen it before.” in that sense, i don’t think it makes sense when people say colin just starts liking penelope in s3/episode 4. the whole point of building up a friendship into a romance is to portray that these characters have deep feelings for each other that may or may not be romantic but that end up melding into a romance in the end. he’s only just understood his feelings but he’s clearly felt them for a long time. the fact he doesn’t understand being a rake doesn’t emotionally fulfill him and processes that through part one is telling, to me, that he’s only now beginning to fully understand what he feels, not only towards pen but also towards himself, towards life in general. so again, i think it makes sense that things become clear to him now, that doesn’t mean they’re just starting to happen now. i think that read of him is really superficial tbh
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lis-likes-fics · 1 year
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A Deal’s a Deal
Pairings: Tommy Shelby x Gold!Reader Word Count: 11.7k words Warnings: NSFW, smut, swearing, smoking, oral (f and m!receiving), dom/sub themes, degradation, virgin!reader, gun kink, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, Tommy is mean and she wants him to be ... A/N: So this was absolutely filthy and I will not apologize. I am American, but I used to British spelling for (as many of) the words that I caught because sometimes I like it better and it also just fit more for the fic. Also, when I say “gun kink”, I mean gun kink. This is filthy shit. Who knows? I may consider writing a second... Enjoy.
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Keen eyes were the first thing Tommy noticed as Aberama Gold walked onto the yard, a sly smirk set in place among blond hair and a suit likely just as expensive as his own. The way his eyes surveyed the yard, examined every inch he could without touching any of it, even stopping by Charlie for a word, made Tommy aware it was for more than just surveillance.
Aberama finally approached, his men following after with their own vigilance. "I just took a look around. I like this place," he announced. "Fire for melting silver, canal to get it away." He stopped in front of him, well out of reach but just as imposing as the growing headache Tommy felt nagging at the back of his head. "How much?"
Tommy took a long look at him, still as a statue as blue eyes pierced through blue eyes. He considered not even regarding the question, moving on to more pressing business and pretending it had never been asked, but he knew better. Arthur drank from his flask.
"Nothing you see here is for sale, Mr. Gold."
He disagreed. "Oh, everything's for sale. Everything."
Tommy pinched his cigarette between his fingers, bringing it to his lips but not quite slipping it through yet. Aberama spilled the rest of the tea in his cup into the fire, which roared with the fuel to its flames.
"You tell Mr. Strong I'm going to buy his yard." He didn't leave room for debate.
But Tommy didn't care. "This yard has been in his family since they settled." He moved the cigarette between his lips.
"But I've decided to make it a part of our deal."
There was a long pause as the men stared each other down, testing the other's strength, their tolerance of cold eyes. The sounds of metal and fire and cups on tables next to them filled the silence and fueled the suspense of a standoff.
"Charlie?" Tommy finally spoke, calling to his uncle. "Charlie, come here." He obliged with a sigh. As he stood next to him with a dirty rag to clean dirty hands, Tommy continued. "Gonna spin a coin for your yard, Charlie."
Frustration was quick to settle at his words. He dropped his hands at his sides. "You're goin' to what?"
Tommy didn't spare him a glance, never breaking contact with Aberama as he spoke. "If it's heads, Abbie here takes all of this with my blessing."
"Tommy?" Charlie warned, upset.
"And if it's tails…" he considered for a moment, gesturing to Aberama with his cigarette in hand, "I fuck your daughter, Mr. Gold."
Aberama's grin fell. Arthur laughed, a stifled laugh into his arm at the offer. Tommy's demeanour did not change.
Now, Tommy was a smart man who did his research. He knew all about Aberama Gold's family, but more specifically about his daughter—and, even more specifically, about his oldest. He knew she was a primary school teacher, how that came to be, he was sure it was with the help of her father. He knew she was Aberama's firstborn, born from another woman he'd fallen for but lost too quick to be left without love. Lastly, he knew she was without a husband, or even a suitor with the potential of wedding bells. With how beautiful you had been rumoured to be, he didn't understand it.
He was shocked he hadn't already had you yet.
"You have three daughters, I hear, and Y/N is the oldest and also the prettiest, so I'll have her. So make her part of the deal and spin against the yard." He replaced his cigarette between his lips, putting his hands in his pockets.
Arthur was still amused. The same could not be said for Charlie as he stepped closer. "Tommy, for fuck's sake."
Tommy fished for a coin in his pocket, flicking it over. "Here, you toss the coin, Mr. Gold."
He caught it easily, staring down Tommy before moving the coin in his palm to examine it thoughtfully. Then he smiled, a slow smile spreading over his lips, ready to call a bluff.
Tommy shook his head, just as serious and solemn as before as he took in his grin. "No." He shook his head, raising a finger to point at him with grim intent. "Please don't believe this is a joke, the coin to us is sacred. Yes, Arthur?"
"Sacred," Arthur agreed, his eyes as still and as menacing as his brother's.
They continued to stare. Aberama continued to think.
Tommy gave his warning. "You toss that coin, you take a bet before witnesses, and if I win…"
"Then we'll insist that the terms of this agreement…" Arthur tried again, "wager are fulfilled."
Tommy's eyes held a threat. "Toss the coin, Mr. Gold."
Aberama considered, setting the coin on the crook of his finger and propping his thumb underneath. He contemplated, debating himself and his luck silently as the sounds of metal and fire raged against the silence and pulled the tension taut. Loud, defeaning.
"Tommy Shelby, OBE," he mumbled, still considering. Tommy saw the moment of decision behind his eyes before it reached his face. The challenge, the question of "Perhaps?" warring in his mind. Aberama smiled a small smile. "I'll take your wager."
The Shelby boys tilted up their heads.
Aberama flipped the coin into the air, watching as it twirled and twirled and twirled. The coin made its descent into his hands and he sighed as he closed his palm and slapped it onto the back of his hand. The coin seared his flesh as he stared at Tommy, hoping to see the right side of the coin staring back at him when he unveiled the result.
They stared, tense. "Well?" Tommy raised a brow.
Aberama removed his hand.
And his luck drained as he stared down at the coin tails up to the world.
He lingered for a moment, feeling the eyes on him burning into his skin just as the coin did. "...Congratulations, Mr. Shelby," he breathed. He took the coin and showed the boys. "Tails."
Tommy's lip twitched, although it was hardly susceptible to the eye. "Tails," he repeated, his voice darker than before. He readjusted his stance, regarding Aberama as he spoke to the uncle at his side. "Go on back to work, Charlie. Your yard is safe."
Charlie stepped closer, asking the question as though he was whispering it just to him. "Are you actually going to fuck his daughter, Tom?"
Tommy still didn't look at Charlie, watching Aberama intensely, as if to remind him that this was all his fault.
People seemed to forget who he was. They seemed to forget that you shouldn't fuck around with Tommy fucking Shelby, OBE.
"A deal's a deal, Charlie," he said. "Isn't that right, Mr. Gold?"
He stared back with fire in his eyes. "Aye, Mr. Shelby."
~
The cab slowed to a stop in front of the large estate you were an expected guest in. Looking out of the window and through the dark, your stomach flipped at the prospect of the meeting you were meant to attend.
Your father had told you that the infamous Thomas Shelby was interested in meeting you. You were grading loads of papers at the time when you stopped to look at him, frozen in confusion. You asked him why and he brushed off the topic like he hadn't even brought it up, giving you a time and date and leaving it at that.
And now you're here, staring at his house and feeling the anxiety of how this evening would go as you stepped out of the car and watched him drive off. You fixed your dress, straightened your spine, and released a breath before beginning the looming evening with a walk up to the door through the dark, guided only by the lamps outside.
You clicked the knocker three times, waiting with your clutch held tightly in front of you. As the door was pulled open, you were somehow relieved to be met with an older woman. Though her blue eyes were shocking and her quirked brow was intimidating, she offered a kind smile and you were put to ease.
You really shouldn't have been as anxious as you were. You were a Gold and a gypsy—if something bad was going to happen to you, you would know and you wouldn't be there in the first place.
But this was Thomas Shelby, and you were terrified. He was rumoured to be the devil himself.
The woman opened the door wider. "Hello." She looked you up and down before stepping aside. "Come in."
You thanked her quietly, walking into the house and glancing around. It was nice. "How may I help you this late in the night?" she wondered, clasping her hands behind her as she awaited your answer.
"Um…" You smiled bashfully but not without the air of respect you've grown into and been taught to demand. "I don't actually know why I'm here. My father, Aberama Gold, sent me to see Tommy Shelby. I am to have an appointment with him?"
She hummed, "Of course. Wait here while I go fetch him." She began to walk off before correcting herself, looking back at you with a respectful smile. "Would you like a cup of tea while you wait?"
"No, thank you."
She left.
You stood in the foyer, twiddling your thumbs atop your clutch as your heart skips in your chest. With a calming breath, you steadied yourself, closing your eyes and waiting patiently.
You swung a foot out, taking a step forward as you wandered farther down the hall to see inside the main room. It was large, decorated sparsely with paintings and tiny statuettes. You didn't get a good look.
When she came back, she was not alone. Turning at the sound of shoes descending stairs, you saw him.
He still wore a suit. Although his jacket was removed, his timepiece was still in place connected to its chain. His sleeves were rolled up—you weren't sure why you noticed that so clearly.
He stared at you with a cigarette between his lips as his cold, blue eyes pierced your soul. Your heart jumped again. Anxious.
He watched you, looking you up and down and taking you in. He brought his hand up to remove his cigarette from between his lips, releasing a long, smoky breath. The look in his eyes shook you.
"Thank you, Mary." His voice was deep as it rumbled in his chest. "You can go to bed now."
Mary looked you up and down briefly. She bowed her head. "Yes, sir."
You didn't break eye contact with Tommy as she ascended the stairs. Even when she was completely gone, he didn't look away. The intensity of his gaze was hard to keep up.
You looked away.
"Come," he finally spoke, walking down the rest of the stairs and meeting you. He lingered in front of you for a moment, as if he just wanted a closer look, before continuing to move. You willed your feet to do so, following slowly behind him.
He took you to his study just off from the main room, pushing the door open to allow you inside. You entered silently, glancing along the room to take it in. He had a library, a burning fireplace, plenty of sofas, and a large wall of windows. The drapes were already drawn for the night, and the large room was illuminated by a small chandelier. You set your purse on the nearest table.
You watched Tommy walk toward his desk in front of the windows. He leaned on it, crossing one leg in front of the other. He stared at you again, and you quickly became frustrated with his gaze as you sighed gently and stood across from him, keeping plenty of distance.
Silence stretched on as he continued to stare and smoke, and you were growing impatient as you stared back. The longer he watched you, unyielding, the more you felt the need to squirm. It was only when you broke his eye contact again, like you had before on the stairs, that he decided to speak.
"Do you know why you're here, Miss Gold?" he asked.
Now that this was finally going somewhere, you sighed. "Y/N, and no," you replied.
He raised his brows. "What did your father tell you, Y/N?"
You shrugged. "That you wanted to meet me and nothing else." His vagueness was really beginning to frustrate you after enduring all of that staring. Why had he stared for so long?
Tommy hummed deep in his chest, looking you up and down with a little nod of his head. He put it bluntly as he gestured toward you with his cigarette. "Your father lied."
It was your turn to raise your brows. "I'm sorry?"
Tommy reached behind him to put his cigarette out, stifling it against the ashtray on his desk. "Your father flipped a coin for a bit of property and lost. In return," he looked at you again, speaking slowly, "he gave you to me to fuck."
Your heart was slamming into your ribcage at the knowledge. Images of such a thing flashed behind your eyes, and your throat went dry. You looked down at your shoes for a moment, blinking rapidly as you stretched your jaw. "I-I don't understand," you confessed, releasing a humourless chuckle and licking your lips. "He… he wouldn't do that."
"Wouldn't he?" he shrugged. When you didn't reply, he furrowed his brows. "Why else would you be here?"
You still didn't respond. He allowed you to process, though part of you felt like he was enjoying all of this, and you did not.
The anticipation started at your heart and spread through your body as it made a home in your chest, curling and writhing there in a bundle of anxious energy.
You swallowed thickly, "Are you going to hurt me, Mr. Shelby?"
He considered your question, mumbling quietly to himself as though he was mocking you, "Am I going to hurt you?" His eyes raked over your body, considering something silently in his head before he spoke again. "Come here."
You didn't move, otherwise frozen in place as you stared at him. Your disobedience seemed to astound him for a moment as he raised his dark brows and pointed to his shoes. "Here. Now." His voice was deeper with the command. He left no room for defiance.
Your body responded before your mind, not eager to see what would happen if you refused a second time. Your feet took you carefully toward him, slow steps treading the space between you until you were hardly a foot apart from him. His expression seemed to ease then, just enough to tell you that you were close enough now.
He took in your face from this distance. You could almost feel his breath. He spoke to you in a low voice, one that rumbled deep in his chest and resonated with you.
"I am a devil, but I'm no monster." Where you expected a crook of his finger to lift your chin, he gave you his hand to take a hold of your jaw and pull you close. "I won't force myself upon you, but if you agree to this, I will not be gentle. So, yes… I am going to hurt you."
You didn't respond—you couldn't. His words echoed in your mind and your mind warred with your body over what you would do in response and, thus, created none. You were frozen, staring at him as he held your face in a slight grip and held your attention in a much tighter one. You forget the fire burning smoke up its chimney. You forget the rows and rows of books lining the shelves of the office. You forget the clothes on your back, for his stare had stripped you bare for him to see.
He let go of your face, but you were not sure how well your brain registered that as you lingered in the same position, gripped in the same attention.
"If you want to leave," he said after a moment, "you'd better walk out of that door right now under the lie that the wager between your father and me was fulfilled. Hell, I'll even make you a cup of tea while you wait, and you can be on your way."
You considered that option. It would be like you never even came—except you did. And you knew you did. The stain of his stare, the hole he had burned into your clothes, into your skin, would never wash away. You would feel it every hour of every day as a reminder of the time you met the Tommy Shelby and lived not to tell the tale.
"But if you stay…" the corner of his lip twitched up at the idea, his pupils darkened and his voice deepened, "you're not leaving until I say you can." Even with their simplicity, his words made you shiver.
"Now, I will ask you once and one time only…" he leaned forward, his head very slightly tilted, his nose nearly brushing yours, "Are you leaving?"
As if you could say no with him this close to you. As if you could say anything with him this close to you.
Your options were idiotic.
Leave and live with the memories you gained here—the closeness, the silent obedience, the cold stare you could never wash from your soul. You would always feel it, feel him. He would never go away, plaguing your mind like a ghost of what could have been.
Or…you could stay. You could stay here and see what happened. You could let him ravage you, let him tear you apart and lick at your flesh and bone as he took you under his primal gaze. You could succumb to the ice in his eyes and let the burn of his touch mix together in some powerful, searing concoction. You would never wash his stain off, no matter how hard you scrubbed, but some part of you was alright with that.
And Tommy seemed to see that in your eyes.
He was amused as he shook his head, leaning back and away from you. He was teasing, you knew it now, heavily amused by the tiny reactions he earned from you as he pulled away to make you suffer a hint of withdrawal. It was with that distance that you realised you'd fallen in his trap, gone in too deep to turn back and be rescued from this tragic and ungodly addiction.
"No, you're not," he said—and, for a moment, you forget what he was talking about. "I can see it in your eyes, the same look your father had before he flipped that coin. You want to know what'll happen if you stay."
You seemed to snap out of it almost as you took a step back, establishing a bit more space as he revealed things you didn't want revealed. In doing so, you proved his point.
"You know exactly what happens if you leave. You go back to your regular life as a school teacher with siblings and a father to take care of." He chuckled silently, and you clenched your teeth. "No, you want to see how far this will go."
He raked his eyes over you for the hundredth time, and he knew the rumours were true. Pretty eyes, pretty lashes, pretty lips, pretty blushy cheeks. There was not a flaw on you that he could see. You were a beauty, an unconquered beauty he intended not to leave uncharted.
You looked away from him, glancing down between your feet and your hands and anywhere but his face as you processed his words, digesting them for what they were—the ugly truth you wished you could throw a blanket back over, swept back under the rug and hidden from view.
Tommy tilted his head as something dawned on him.
"Are you a virgin, Y/N?"
You kept your eyes on the ground, like you were watching his shoes—which you probably are—and shook your head. "I change my mind. You can call me Miss Gold." He could almost laugh at the idea, in fact, he almost did laugh. You brought yourself to look at him, your eyes stern with poorly hidden dismay. "And if I was?"
It made sense. No husband, no suitor, no time for one anyway. His lip lifted very slightly in the corner, and it felt like he was laughing at you. "The proper phrasing is 'and if you are?'" He leaned in, taunting you. "Because you are, Y/N."
You huffed to keep your eyes from fluttering at the effect he had on you. "How do you know?" you asked, doing your best not to sound as upset as you were. Your best was very poor.
He breathed a silent chuckle. "Because if I say the word 'sex'..."
You licked your lips and shifted your weight to your other leg, realising your mistake as soon as you made it but not showing it. You glanced away from him, and that was when you showed the realisation of your second mistake.
He pointed at you, ever amused. "You do that."
You thought for a moment over a way to say your next words without confessing anything—even if you knew it would be rendered unnecessary, as he seemed to read you like an open book.
"What if I did want to see what would happen?"
He inclined his head, lifting a brow. A small huff of a breath made up a tiny chuckle at your words. "Look at you," he said. "A good girl so bored she wants a go with a gangster."
You shrugged a shoulder. "All my family's gangsters and gypsies. It's in my blood."
He stared at you, cold and frozen like a statue. You stared back, gaze darting from eye to eye.
"In your blood," he muttered to himself.
You had no time to process what happened next. All you felt was his hand on the back of your neck and then your cheek against the cold wood of his desk. You groaned at the suddenness of it, stunning you completely—especially when his body pressed against the back of yours, crushing you against the desk and keeping you there.
Your breath was erratic, your pulse loud in your ears. Everything had happened so quickly, you were still catching up. The only thing that grounded you was the cold shock of something against the back of your head and the cock of a gun in your ears.
It was all suddenly very real—the anticipation, the suspense. You held your breath.
"Maybe I lied," he rasped in your ear, his voice just as dangerous as his gun to your head. "Maybe I want to see what's in your blood instead, eh?"
Your lips parted as shallow breaths passed between them, loud in your ears but likely nearly silent to him. You swallowed hard, frightened and exhilarated. "You're not going to kill me, Mr. Shelby."
"Oh, yeah? Why is that?" He seemed to press the gun even closer, trying to scare you some more. But you were a Gold, and guns to heads were not as effective to you as it might have been to someone else from a family that wasn't yours.
"Because you want to see what will happen."
Surprised by your answer, he scoffed. "Maybe you are a whore." He pushed his hips harder into you, thus pushing you harder against the desk. The edge of the wood cut into your thighs, aching and proving very uncomfortable. A strained breath grunted from you.
You smiled slyly, looking back at him as best you could. "Which is it?" you chuckled, "Whore or virgin?"
He took pause, shaking his head as he uncocked the gun. "No," he chuckled darkly. "Just a twisted little girl who gets off to guns at her head."
Your smirk dropped, amusement gone at his words. You furrow your brow, thoroughly upset that he would accuse you of something so crude. "I don't."
"No?" he asked before leaning in closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear and making you shiver. "Then why are you so wet?"
You stilled. You hadn't realised it until he said it, the wetness between your thighs, the arousal hiding beneath your thundering pulse. That tingling sensation of simmering lust was now weighing down on you like an anvil, a terrible sentence you wanted to escape but found yourself physically incapable of. Your legs trembled, but you couldn't tell if it was from the ice or the fire rushing through your veins. God forbid it be both.
Your silence made him smirk against your ear. "You really are," he scoffed again. "That was just a guess, sweetheart."
You huffed, doing everything you could to avoid clenching your thighs. With how close he was to you, his body pressed against you so tightly, he'd surely feel it. The shame was thick enough as it was.
"Fuck you," you spat.
He was not fazed by your aggression. "I intend to."
With a sudden burst of defiance, you pushed yourself up from the desk, turning around to face him. Your faces were so close, breathing in each other's scent as the both of you refused to back down. You heard him uncock his gun, tossing it onto the table behind you without breaking eye contact.
"This isn't the first time I've had a gun to my head, nor will it be the last," you told him. "And it's definitely not the first time a man's expressed his desire to fuck me."
"But it's the first time he's been able to, eh? Because before you had Daddy's protection." His hand landed on your waist, roughly pulling you toward him so your bodies were touching. It was useless to try to hide to fluster he put you in, but you did your best anyway. His voice was nearly a growl. "Well, where is he now?"
You shook your head, breathing shallow breaths. "I don't need his protection."
His smirk was small and taunting as he stared at you, his eyes darting between your eyes and your lips.
"You do from me."
His lips crashed down upon yours as he pulled you close. Your surprised gasp was cut off, silenced by his harsh kiss. The feeling was foreign but not entirely unwelcome. Even as the force of his lips had his teeth smashing yours, cutting into the top of your own lip and greeting you with the taste of blood, you welcomed it.
You kissed back, moving your lips with his and following his lead but doing no more than that. Even if you had already compromised yourself, it would help not to encourage him.
When he pulled away from you, you chased his lips and felt the shame of it hot on your cheeks. He smiled at your eagerness, even chuckled at your breathlessness as he shook his head.
"My, my," he goaded. "You really do want this, you twisted little whore."
You shivered at his words and still denied. "And if I don't?" you countered, practically staring at his pink lips and proving him right.
He shook his head. "You should've walked out that door."
He kissed you again, silencing you once more until his lips had a moan clawing up your throat. He placed a hand on your chest, pulling you forward just a slight from turning you in one arm and shoving you back.
You stumbled backward, catching your footing again as you stared at him between the long distance he had put between the both of you. It surprised you and now you were trying to put your mind back in order, as though it hadn't been scrambled enough from his kiss.
"If you want to go so badly, prove it to me." He pointed to the door, urging you to leave with dark eyes and darker words. "Run. Run away, before I catch you."
You stared at him, catching your breath and contemplating. He was giving you one last chance for an out, one last chance to turn away and forget about tonight.
But you could never forget what happened here, especially not now, and not ever. Staring back at his dangerous eyes, you made your choice, knowing there was no turning back.
So you would prove that you wanted to stay as you trudged the distance between you and closed it with your lips on his, addicted to the taste of him—the taste of danger and intrigue and all things twisted in the world.
His hand cupped the back of your head as he opted to devour you, allowing your fingers to work at the buttons of his vest to remove it. You gasped into his mouth and made your decision before your inexperience could talk you out of it, separating from his lips only to kneel down before him with your eyes locked on his.
Amazed by your initiative, he encouraged you by leaning his hips out as you worked at his belt. You fumbled for a moment too long before you finally got his trousers open, finally reaching what you were aiming for as you pulled him from his underwear.
You stared wide-eyed at him as you took in the sight of his cock, the tip flushed red and the vein along the underside pulsing with his well-disguised lust. You looked up at him, finding him staring back down at you with those cold, dark eyes.
"Well, go on then," he mumbled as you continued to stare, conflicted between different courses of action.
Your body heat seemed to rise at the realisation that you were staring like a fool. You swallowed thickly, reaching a hand up and wrapping it gently around him, gliding your thumb along his tip and feeling a little more confident when his unyielding eyes fluttered. You continued on, rubbing your thumb at the head of him before stroking your fist along the length of him, up and down in a steady rhythm as you navigated what he liked and didn't like.
One of his hands cupped the back of your neck, urging you forward as your face pressed into his hips with the warmth of his cock on your cheek. Slowly, you kissed it, your lips gliding along the length as you took in the unfamiliar sensation. You slipped your tongue through your lips, licking along the side until you reached his flushed tip. Kissing the slit at the head of his cock, the bead of pre-cum there spread over your lips as you darted your tongue out to lick it.
You opened your mouth at the taste, setting his tip on your tongue and shivering at the feeling as you closed your lips around it. You built yourself up for it as you felt his heavy stare at the top of your head, bobbing your head slowly back and forth as you took the smallest bit more with each comeback. As he reached the back of your tongue, that tickling feeling in your throat began to tease you before the threat of gagging became too much to try to pass through.
By now, his cock was glistening with your saliva. As you looked up at him with eyes beginning to tear from your efforts, he stared back, lost in the pathetically illusioned look on your face. "You can't be done already," he said, his fingers tangling in your hair.
You spoke breathlessly, "Tommy–"
"No," he shook his head. "Not Tommy. You call me 'sir' while you're sat there on your knees with my cock in your mouth. You understand?"
You took in his authority, deciding whether or not you would listen. You began to scoff, "I'm not–"
"You will," he said finally, giving you that look that demanded respect. You knew, staring at him now, that he held the key to your pleasure. If you wanted to feel good, you would have to obey. As much as that annoyed you, it thrilled you all the same as he continued to look down on you like he was.
Your jaw ached with resentment, but you knew it was a front, you fighting the submission you were not meant to have. But you wanted it. You wanted him to break you down to some common whore, to strip you of your importance as a Gold and turn you into his plaything. But it was so firmly embedded, you would just have to keep fighting against it.
But that didn't matter right now, not with you on your knees with his cock in your hand.
"I can't do it…sir," you replied.
He raised a brow. "Can't do what?"
He was taunting you, insulting you by trying to make you say something you didn't want to say. It sat on your tongue like venom. Admitting what you classified as "it" felt like a new kind of torture.
"What is it you can't do, eh?" he questioned, even smirking at you like he knew he held all the cards. Because he did.
"I can't…" you swallowed thickly, bowing your head.
"No, no," he tsked, lifting your head with his hand in your hair to force you to look at him. And he wasn't lying before—he wouldn't be gentle. "Look at me and tell me what you can't do."
You huffed, speaking in a squeak of a voice. "Can't… take it all."
"What was that?"
"I can't take it all," you repeated, not yelling but not whispering either.
He smiled at you then, an evil, nasty smile that you wanted to wipe from his face. "That's all?" he questioned, laughing when you broke his eye contact. "Well, sure you can. Let me show you."
The exchange was promptly ended as his hand in your hair guided your head back to him as you took his cock in your mouth again, and he pushed you down, inch by inch, back onto him. You felt his tip pushing into your mouth, deeper and deeper on your tongue until he brushed the back of your throat. You gagged around him, feeling the sensations of the invasion rushing down your spine, resting in your belly and tingling all over.
As your nose brushed against his pelvic bone, your eyes welled up as tears spilled over your cheeks. He shushed you as you gagged on his cock, your throat adjusting around the intrusion. His hips bucked a couple of times, pushing his cock further until he could go no deeper. When he pulled out, you took as much air into your burning lungs as possible before you were interrupted by a few coughs.
As much as you wanted to slap him for the assault on your throat, one look at the pleasure on his face calmed the fire of frustration and fed the ache of arousal between your legs.
"Don't– do that again," you huffed, still catching your breath as you leaned forward on your knees to take him into your hot mouth again. You didn't go nearly as far again as you licked along his length, suckling around his cock and laving your tongue along his tip and the vein on the underside.
"The hell I won't," he mumbled, not the biggest fan of your telling him what to do but not necessarily put off by the idea. His hand remained a tangled mess in your hair as you continued to suck and lick and kiss.
You weren't expecting it when he pushed you down the second time, but at least you knew what to expect as you shut your eyes tight and took it, accepting the twisted pleasure that blossomed in your belly until he pulled out of your mouth again, keeping you back as he groaned.
You wiped your mouth off, staring at him with wet eyes and breathing through an open mouth. A deep breath exhaled from his lungs as he hoisted you to your feet, searching out your lips to bring you into another kiss. He turned you both around and pressed your back into his desk as he continued to kiss you roughly, pushing you back until you collapsed on the dark wood.
You gasped in surprise but barely had time to process as his lips continued to attack yours. His hands grasped the neckline of your dress, encouraging shivers down your spine. When he suddenly ripped and ripped at your clothes tearing them off you like a beast, you gasped and watched him turn your dress to rags.
It wasn't long before you were bare in front of him, save for the pantyhose hiding nothing from him. Then those were gone, too. Your hands instinctively flew to your body, trying to cover yourself up. There was really no reason for modesty, not now that you had already seen his cock and had it shoved down your throat, but this was entirely new and you would have rather liked a warning beforehand.
"Don't cover yourself now," he said as he entwined his hands with your own and pulled them away, spreading you out to see every inch of you with those hungry eyes. Your body trembled with the feeling of his eyes on your bare skin. You squeezed your eyes shut, whimpering quietly at the mix of emotions ruling you.
Where some would take pity, Tommy just smiled darkly and tsked gently as he leaned forward and began kissing your neck. Your mouth fell open as your eyes fluttered to see him. A slight moan caught in your throat escaped at the sensation of lips to skin and your hands struggled where he restrained them, wanting to touch him again.
His kisses were not so patient after a moment as teeth began to scrape skin, sucking and nibbling on flesh in order to mark uncharted territory. The pleasure it gave him to know that no man had ever done this to you before was intense, driving him crazy with lust, a desire to claim you as his hips cant into your own, pushing you further into the desk and otherwise hurting you—if you had not been so preoccupied with his kiss.
You moaned into the air when his hand tightened around your thigh, squeezing roughly as he groped and kneaded the flesh. His other hand busied itself around your throat and tilted your head off to the side, sitting securely there but not quite squeezing the same. Your fingers wrapped around his wrist nonetheless, though you didn’t know whether you were trying to make him stop or keeping his hand there, wrapped around your throat and effectively putting him in charge.
The hand on your thigh travelled up, smoothing along your skin until he reached your hip. It never stayed there, moving back down as his fingers brushed over your exposed cunt. Your breath stopped in your throat when you felt his fingers ghosting over your lips and gasped when you felt his middle finger slip between them before biting down hard on your lip in an attempt to silence yourself.
His lips brushed your ear as he spoke in his low tones. “You like being touched by me? Eh?” A whimper left your throat when his finger pressed into you, pushing past your folds and into the warm, wet feeling inside of you. You clenched around it, the feeling foreign and but so good. "You're practically a whore now. I did buy ya after all—cost me a penny."
Your legs trembled as he stretched you out around his finger, a second playing at your pussy before carefully joining the other. "A penny?" you stuttered. "I personally think I'd be worth at least two."
"Well, let's see then," he said, lifting his brows as he pulled his finger out of you.
You whimpered, granting him an annoyed expression at the absence of his touch so soon. "See what?"
"If you taste good enough for two pennies."
You stared at him as his lips kissed your chest, sucking on your nipples on the way down and continuing on down to your thighs. A shocked yelp came from you when he bared his teeth around a chunk of flesh, only soothed when he kissed over it.
He gripped your thighs and pulled them over his shoulders, taking your hips in his hands and pushing himself up so your body was nearly folded in half. He didn't stall you at all as he buried his head between your thighs, licking and sucking on your folds as he shoved his tongue between them.
Your head flew backward, banging against the table. You hardly noticed, even with the full throb at the back of your head, the slight dizziness in your brain. Your hands flew to his hair, tangling in dark strands and tugging him forward. His tongue was just as skilled here, commanding your body to his every will, as it was during his speeches while he commanded armies of men to join in his cause or to intimidate against their own.
One hand left your hip to play with your cunt, toying with your clit. He pushed two fingers into your fluttering hole, swirling his tongue around your clit as you moaned for him to continue.
"Fuck," you mewled, closing your legs around his head and digging your heels into his back. He didn't seem to care, not until you messed up. "Please don't stop, Tommy."
But he did. His fingers and tongue retreated as he pulled back, straightening his back and letting one leg fall from his shoulder, though he kept the other firmly held to his chest.
You whined, looking at him with shallow breath. You watched him lick his kiss-swollen lips as he stared at you with black eyes. The emotions in your belly swirled between lust and frustration and fear and intrigue. He was so intimidating and you wanted more. You wanted him to keep kissing you, to keep dragging his tongue along your wet pussy. But you also wanted him to push you into the floor and take you from behind, his hips slapping into you, his hand planting your cheek against the cold floor, his mouth whispering filthy things in your ear.
"Please," you whimpered, too desperate to care about how pathetic you sounded.
He lifted a brow, saying nothing and staring. When you tried to sit up to reach his face, he pressed a hand into your chest and pushed you down roughly, leaning forward himself to paralyse you with his dangerous glare. Even with his hand on your chest, you tried to sit up still to kiss his pretty lips but he wouldn't let you. Your thigh ached from the position.
"Please," you whispered again, a broken moan as the lack of pleasure became too much, welling in your chest and making your body tremble.
He tilted his head.
You let out a shaky breath, moving your free leg outward to spread yourself even wider for him. "Please, sir," you concede. "Please keep going. I want it."
He didn't continue. His eyes bore into yours and you shuddered. With a gentle huff, you handed over the last of your dignity. "Please, sir, I need it."
He lingered there for a moment longer before smirking. You thought he was going to kiss you when he leaned forward, but instead he took your bottom lip between his teeth and but down before returning to his previous position between your legs.
He began again with the same intensity, devouring you as though you were his last meal. You whimpered and moaned and cried from the pleasure he forced into you. As he shoved his fingers into you, spreading them apart and thus stretching you wider, suckling on your clit and kneading it with his tongue, a coil tightened in your belly as everything seemed to follow.
Your moans built to whining breaths—too high and pitchy to be real—but genuine nonetheless. He didn't let up or slow down, drunk on the taste of you and too far gone to stop just yet, not without his reward.
The warm, wet feeling of his mouth became too much, the suckling of his lips even moreso. You squeezed your eyes tight, arching your back as a loud moan ripped from your throat. Your breath was rough and forceful as it rasped in and out of your throat, and your hands clenching in his hair tugged and tugged as his tongue continued to work. The pleasure took siege of your body, attacking every nerve ending until you were naught but a pile of flesh and blood and bone.
The high slowly descended to bring you back to Tommy Shelby's study, his tongue at your pussy a distant sensation in the back of your mind before it burnt with oversensitivity. You tugged at his hair, grunting as you pulled his head away to catch your breath.
His chin glistened and his lips were plump with blood as he stared at your recuperating body. He pulled his fingers from your fluttering pussy, taking them between his lips to taste you.
"Too much?" he asked, not in any way sensitive as he stared. "What, it feels too good, it hurts?" All you could do was nod. He breathed a laugh. "Have you ever touched yourself before, love?"
You didn't have it in you to be shy as you shook your head. He didn't take that answer this time—not humiliating enough, you supposed.
"Eh?" he urged, lightly smacking your arse to get a proper answer.
You grunted, shaking your head. "No, sir."
"That's your first time cumming then," he said more than asked, watching your dazed eyes slowly return to the dull bite of their natural rebellion—though he knew he broke you down enough for it to be too weak to matter.
He still awaited an answer. "Yes, sir," you obliged.
"Well, congratulations," he said. "Most men don't know how to please, so most women don't get to cum."
You disregarded his comment, still stuck on the aftershocks of pleasure as your eyes wandered the room. You whimpered when he licked you again, suckling around your clit and earning a jerk from your body.
He sat up, moving your legs off his shoulders like they were nothing important to him. He wrapped a hand at the base of your skull and pulled you up to sit. "Come here," he said, bringing you close to his face. "Have a taste."
He pulled you forward and crashed his lips against yours, too rough but just as amazing as all the rough ones he'd given before. The taste of you was strange but addictive as you came back for more, even as he pulled you away.
Tommy backed away from you, leaving you bare and hot on the desk. His hair was a mess, and he licked his lips again. He gestured toward you. "Stand up." You did as you were told, steadying yourself on unsteady feet. "Turn around."
As you obeyed, he came up behind you and pushed you onto the desk again, just as he'd done before. You grunted at the impact and clenched your thighs at the effect it had on you. You hated how good it made you feel, his treating you so roughly, without a care to just how rough. You hated even more how much rougher you wanted him to be.
Your prayers may have been met with extremity when you felt his gun to your head again as he spoke into your ear.
"I could kill you," he considered, pressing the gun further.
Your heart kicked up, and the adrenaline took over as his unwavering voice promised your demise. You held back your moan and responded, "But you won't."
"Why not?"
"You need me," you insisted. He laughed. "It's true. You kill me, well I'm Daddy's favourite. There'll be war. You make me go, I'll just keep coming back to finish it. You fuck me now, your wager is fulfilled and you get to fuck a virgin. What man doesn't want that, eh?"
Oh, you were good. Even if he was going to kill you, your words were enough to persuade him otherwise. He pressed the gun into your temple and the clicking sound of him clocking it reverberated in your ear. You moaned a long, deep moan as you clenched your thighs tightly together.
He smiled, laughing quietly to himself as he shook his head. "A proper whore, you are."
"Then fuck me, sir. That's the purpose of a whore, isn't it?" You gripped the edge of the table when he pushed his hips into you, aching that same spot on your thighs from before and making your lust all the worse.
He lingered, the cold barrel cocked and ready. You held your breath and awaited his decision before he removed it from your head. You sighed gently, missing his warmth when he stepped away from you.
Your hips jolted when the cold tip of his gun pressed to your pussy, spreading your lips apart to see you still wet for him. With the gun still cocked, your heart pounded against your ribcage and you felt the anxiety building deliciously in your body. He hummed, considering something in his head. You stayed as still as possible, certain your breath was loud as you wondered what he was thinking.
You heard him kneel, hyperaware of every sound he made behind you. His hand nudged the other side before he was leaning forward to taste you again.
You whimpered. "You're a dirty whore for being this wet," he said. You bit down on your lip.
He stood again and bent himself over your body. "You got my gun dirty," he tutted, shaking his head like he was scolding you as he shoved the barrel in your face. You could see your arousal gleaming off of it, shaking at the sight of it so close. "Clean it up."
You didn't move, paralyzed by fear. He didn't like that. "Clean. It. Up."
You let out a wavering breath, "Yes, sir." You leaned forward slowly, not even certain you were actually moving, and stuck your tongue out the slightest bit. You shut your eyes, making contact with the gun and a tiny whine slipped.
He watched you do as you were told, licking your slick from his gun and loving every second. A tear slipped down your cheek, slow and beautiful. He kissed it from your skin as you cleaned the gun.
When he deemed that you'd done well enough, he uncocked it and put it away. Your body relaxed, all of the pent up energy inside of you calming a slight as the threat of so much danger lifted from you.
He slipped his hand around your throat and leaned into your ear again. "Such a good girl, crying for me" he husked in your ear. "I'm gonna make you scream."
You felt the head of his cock push between your folds, coating himself in your slick, and there was plenty to go around. He straightened his spine as he took a hold of your hips, just as rough as you were expecting, before he shoved his cock into you. You moaned loudly as the harsh drag of his cock invaded your cunt, stretching you out around him.
"Fuck," you cried, gripping the desk harder. He held you steady as he fucked into your tight pussy, snapping his hips in and out of you without sparing a second for you to adjust. The slick you'd gathered would have to do.
You clenched down on him, thighs aching and trembling and becoming too much already as the tears built in your eyes.
Chants and cries of "yes" and "more" and "harder" spilled from your mouth and into the air, a loud and filthy cacophony of blasphemous praise. He held you down and he held you still, dominating your body as your new god as he ruined you for any man.
"You want more? Sure you do, so desperate for a fuck," he taunted, his harsh words accompany the harsh smacks of his hips. It was loud and continuous and it felt so good. "Such a dirty little thing, filthy and twisted. You like having a gun to your head, you like me being mean to ya. Where's all that pride gone, eh?"
The tears streamed down your face, decorating you in a way that Tommy could only describe as "beautiful".
"That's right. Cry for me, little whore," he grunted.
You did. Your thighs hurt and your throat is sore and your fingers ache from grasping the desk so hard, but you cried for him and the overwhelming pleasure, a depraved sound he fed from.
One of his hands left your hip to toy with your clit as he pressed his chest to your back. He bit the juncture between your neck and your shoulder, cruel and uncaring, before kissing the spot like an absent-minded apology. Your voice was raspy as he drew quick circles at your clit, chasing your next high as though it were unattainable.
And who knows? With Tommy, it might be.
"More," you begged, despite the loss of breath in your lungs, despite the haze of your mind. You chased the pleasure, pleading for it to swallow you whole as you took all that he gave you. "Please, sir, more." He cursed under his breath.
That crashing high from before curled in your belly again, hot and searing, like molten lava. You shuddered when it erupted, squeezing around his cock as you nearly sobbed. "Ahh, fuck!" Your head went fuzzy at the sensations as you gushed around him, sucking him in tighter.
Tommy grunted, his hips stilling before he pulled out of you. You thought he was done, but he seemed far from it as he wrapped his arm around your midsection, lifting you from the table and turning. You thought he was heading for the sofa, instead he lowered you to the ground on your hands and knees, which shook with the aftershocks of an orgasm you were still recovering from.
He pressed down on your back, pushing you onto the floor so your hips were angled up. He grasped your waist, smacking your arse once and earning a cut-off shriek.
He steadied you before burying his cock in you once more, sighing from the warmth your body provided. You whimpered at the feeling so fresh after cumming, slowly adjusting to the pleasure as he fucked into you with the insistence of a starved man.
Once you settled into it again, you moaned into the sensitivity, easing the rock of his hips rubbing you against the floor with your palms planted on the wood. It was cold and hard but the way his cock brushed in and out of you was so electric that you didn't care.
"There we are," he said, guiding your hips quickly as he pulled you in against him. "Fucked on the ground where you belong. Don't you agree?"
You struggled with nodding—though you knew he wouldn't accept it anyway. "Yes, s– Ah!– sir." He rutted into you, his thrusts almost animalistic, and he kept on.
He leaned forward, bracing one hand next to your head as you reached out to grab it. His breath was loud in your ear, full of broken moans disguised as heavy grunts.
"Good," mewled. "Feels good, sir."
"Yeah?" he asked, a particularly harsh slap making you whimper. "You want more, you pathetic whore?"
"Please, sir."
"So polite all of a sudden," he spoke breathlessly.
When he pulled out of you again, you thought you'd scream. But he eased you up to flip you onto your back, standing on his knees and staring down on you. You watched him unbutton his shirt, undoing each button one by one until he was able to shed it from his arms. You stared at the bare skin of his chest, taking in his tattoos, his muscles, the light patch of hair.
Grabbing you by your legs, he pulled you into his lap after leaning back. He set your legs over his shoulders once more, guiding himself back into you before he leaned forward. Your legs ached from being put in this position so much—but hell if you cared, because when he seated himself fully inside of you, the moan you left out was deep and guttural. He reached so much deeper than before, brushing a spot inside of you that set your body ablaze.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close as his hips snapped into yours. His thrusts were shorter in this position, grinding into you and brushing that spot over and over and over again. You whined and moaned through every moment of it, your eyes tearing up and the tension in your muscles building.
Your hand splayed out over his cheek as you tilted his head toward your face, wanting to watch him as he fucked into you. His eyes gazed at you, the intimidation from before not quite as cruel as it melted into the intimacy of the moment. His forehead pressed against yours and you breathed in each other's air as he shoved your hips together.
The sounds of his cock sliding in and out of you were intoxicating, filling the air with a filthy cadence that mixed with the carnal pleas on your tongue and the raucous groans on his.
"Look at you," he said, planting his hand next to your head once more as the other held your hips up for the right angle. "So desperate, pathetically beautiful."
You gave him a drunk smile, looking between his eyes and lips. "You think… I'm beautiful?"
He rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, shutting you up with a rough thrust. Your head fell back and exposed your neck, which he graciously nipped between his teeth.
You yelped when the pad of his thumb pressed against your clit again, sinking into a breathy moan as you looked between your bodies to see it. You looked back up at Tommy, allowing him to do as he pleased with your body, succumbing to his touch.
"Fuck," you breathed, clenching around him at the feeling of your aching clit being stimulated again. You weren't sure you could cum again, but to hell if you weren't going to try.
Your arms wrapped around his back as your nails took root in his shoulders, scraping down his flesh to find purchase for the overwhelming passion. The sound Tommy made was nearly a moan, which he covered with a hiss as he clenched his teeth.
You kissed him, lips bruising, teeth clicking, tongues flicking as you drank the pleasure. "I'm gonna cum again, sir."
He raised his brows, though his rhythm was wearing. "Oh, you think so, do you?"
You corrected yourself, kissing him again to add in your favour. "Please, sir, can I cum again?"
His grin was almost sinister as he regarded you. You were learning, and fast. His unsteady hips rocked you back and forth on the ground, and his breath was timed with each little thrust. You could tell he was going to lose it, so close to joining you as you encouraged him by clenching and squeezing, sucking him into your cunt and getting him addicted to it.
"Fuck, yes. Go on and cum for me, sweetheart," he groaned, giving you the permission you needed as the pleasure washed over you like a wave of fire.
Your back arched, your weak moan stuttered in your throat, and you couldn't help but utter his name as the ecstasy shook you. Your cunt fluttered around him, and your moan continued until it melted to helpless little whimpers which then dissolved into each breath.
Tommy buried his face in the crook of your neck when he came after you, growling in your ear and his muscles tensed under your hands. His hips rutted into you, sinking in nice and deep and putting you in a position that would have been fairly uncomfortable, had you not been so devoured by his deep fucking that you hardly even noticed. All you could feel was the pressure of his body on yours and the feeling of his hot seed spilling into you, your cunt so tight around his cock that you milked every drop.
Slowly, his muscles loosened and his grip on your hip let up. He sighed, a long, deep sigh that released the rest of his tension as he began to straighten his back again. You stopped him, wrapping your hand around the back of his head and pulling him down for one more kiss. This one was so soft, a slow kiss that rendered your body useless. Everything was limp and lazy as the tender kiss changed the entire dynamic of the night.
It lasted longer than it properly should have as you both came in for more, treasuring it, cherishing it, until it had to come to its imminent end. He pulled away from you, staring at your face for a moment longer before he sat up, pulling out of you and making you shudder from the sudden loss and the even more sudden chill.
You stayed on the floor as he walked toward his desk and tucked himself back into his underwear. Your eyelids were heavy, drooping down as you lacked the strength to stand. As Tommy picked up his case of cigarettes, he looked at you over his shoulder, still laying there. Your legs were still spread out, your pussy dripping with both your cum on display and your arms framing your head. You'd passed out.
Tommy rubbed his cigarette between his lips before he lit it. His eyes never left you as he took the first puff before discarding the light and walking over to you. He knelt, tucking his hand under you to take you into his arms and set you on the sofa. He readjusted your body, your legs closed and one of your arms covering your chest.
He stood there a moment. You looked peaceful as you slept—absolutely debauched with your messy hair, tear-stricken cheeks, and swollen lips—but peaceful. Your face nuzzled into the cushion, and your lips twitched with whatever was going on in your head.
It took more than he would like to admit not to brush the apple of your cheek as he cleared his throat quietly. He picked up his disregarded shirt and draped it over your shoulders before choosing to walk back to his desk. He sat down and sifted through some files he pulled from a drawer to busy himself.
He didn't keep track of how long you slept or how long he sat there. He hadn't realised when he dozed off, tired out from you and from work.
You stirred from your place on the couch, opening your eyes and wondering why the floor was so soft. It took a moment to remember where you were, why you were naked, and why your thighs were so sticky.
Taking a deep breath in, a familiar scent filled your nose as you noticed the shirt over your body. You sat up slowly, pulling it to your chest and taking another deep breath. The scent made you dizzy, and you slipped it over your arms. The shirt was big on you, hanging low as you pulled it closed around your body.
Your body ached as you moved to stand, running a hand through your hair and stretching your sore limbs. Why were you so sore?
You took two steps, examining the floor and taking in all the clothes—scraps and fully intact—laying there, before you looked up and saw him. Tommy was passed out at his desk, bracing his face on his arms as he slept.
The events of that night flooded into your mind all at once and suddenly, everything made sense. You looked down at your dress of scraps again with a frown as you picked it up, rolling your eyes before using it to wipe away the cum glueing your legs together and discarding it back to the floor.
You padded over to Tommy, glancing over him and silently making your way to the window to peek behind the curtains. It was still dark out, so you hadn't slept long.
You returned to Tommy, lifting up his half-burnt cigarette and putting it out properly in the ashtray it was sitting in. You stared at him, watching him sleep.
You never thought the devil himself could ever look so peaceful.
You couldn't help yourself—you reached out and brushed some of his hair from his face. You just wanted to see him a little clearer. In doing so, he woke. It wasn't a slow waking like yours. His was fast, nearly startled as his eyes opened and his sharp inhale shocked his senses. Before he could jolt up to his feet, his blue eyes found you and his dark brows almost convinced you that he despised you as he granted you a hard stare.
But his expression shifted at the sight of you, after he'd properly taken you in and recognized you. He blinked away and sighed, sitting up slowly and leaning back in his chair. He tilted his head as he looked you up and down before reaching for his case of cigarettes again.
He picked one out, rubbed it between his lips, and lit it up in silence. And, in silence, you took it from between his lips and set it between your own. He stared at you, lips parted and amused—though, you had to look closely to notice.
"Apologise."
You stared at him with a raised brow, blowing out a billowing breath of smoke. He was surprised you smoke.
He looked you up and down before sighing and leaning back again. "Alright, I'll bite," he said. "What for?"
You took another deep breath before moving it again, blowing it out before gesturing toward him with his cigarette. "You called me pathetic."
"You are pathetic."
"And you called me a whore."
"You are a whore."
"You called me a pathetic whore."
He opened his arms, shrugging as he watched you. You raised a brow and blew out some more smoke.
"Apologise."
You weren't harsh as you said it, and you didn't look particularly hurt. In fact, you looked like a fucking angel dressed in his shirt, smoking his cigarette, and demanding he apologise for something you so obviously enjoyed.
He gave in, smiling as he rolled his eyes. "I apologise for calling you a pathetic whore…even if you are a pathetic whore."
You watched him for a moment, considering whether you'd accept his apology.
"I also want you to apologise for pointing a gun at me. Twice. And then touching my fucking cunt with it."
"No." He said it so simply, so finally. There was no way you'd get him to budge. "You liked it too much."
You thought about that and shrugged. Fair enough.
"I also–"
"Shut up and come here," he said, turning toward you with his open legs and arms.
You smiled and stepped between them, letting him take hold of your waist—even if you were still sensitive there because you didn't want to give up the affection. You guided the cigarette back between his lips, your fingers pressing against them as you did. He smoked it before taking it out and staring at you, blowing the air out as he thought.
Tommy reached into his pocket, digging around to pull out a coin. He handed it to you, and you shook your head at him. "That's not funny," you mumbled, stifling a laugh.
"Congratulations, you're worth two pennies."
"Fuck you," you laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I've already done that." You laughed again, shaking your head and ignoring the warmth in your belly.
You stared at him, rubbing the coin between your fingers as you toyed with it. He watched you think to yourself, biting your lip as your eyes so obviously flicked between his eyes and lips.
"Thank you, Tommy," you told him softly. "I needed this."
His smile faltered slightly as he continued to watch you. He sighed, unaware of his thumbs stroking patterns into your sides, "I didn't do it for you… but I'm happy to have helped."
You chuckled weakly, half-hearted. Looking down at the penny, you smiled slowly and held it up. "How about a wager?" His subtle amusement encouraged you.
"If it's heads…you get me a new dress because you ripped mine to shreds."
He let out a small scoff, shaking his head gently.
"And if it's tails…" you smiled. You lifted your leg, slipping into his lap as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. His hands found your arse, pulling you forward so your bodies were flush against each other. Your eyes fluttered as his cock brushed your pussy, already exciting you for the probable future. You focused on him again, "...you fuck me again—this time naked."
He smiled and nodded his head. "Toss the coin, Miss Gold."
You licked your lips as you readied it between your thumb and finger. Your eyes locked for a moment between moments, drinking each other like forbidden wine. You flipped the coin into the air, watching as it twirled and twirled and twirled. The coin made its descent, you caught it, and you took a moment to close your eyes and hope before you let it show.
You couldn't hide your elation as you picked up the coin and showed him. "Congratulations, Mr. Shelby," you smiled. "Tails."
"A deal's a deal." His hand wrapped around the back of your neck and he pulled you in, "I would've fucked you otherwise." He kissed you in a mix of the roughness and sweet tenderness from earlier.
Between breaks, you sighed heavily. "Thank God because I need you," you confessed, kissing him again.
You undid his pants once more, this time pushing them down his legs and finally ridding him of them. He let you wear his shirt, refraining from admitting just how much he liked seeing you wear it.
The kiss was a mess as you devoured one another. He rocked your hips in his lap and you moaned at the pressure as his cock spread your lips apart. "Fuck, this is gonna be a long night," you hummed.
"Shut up and ride my cock," he demanded, not nearly as harsh as before but just as breathless as you now.
You smiled. "Yes, sir."
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Peaky Blinders taglist: @lyarr24​ @runnning-outof-time​ @goblinjnr Tag yourself here...
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3K notes · View notes
skeltnwrites · 1 month
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Summary: You are there for Steve when he has to face his fear of needles. | 1.1k
TW: needles, medical anxiety, panic attacks, bf steve
A/N: this is based on true events 🥲 also you cannot convince me he doesn't have anxiety about this after rewatching that scene where he is literally stabbed in the neck with a needle
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This is the first time Steve’s ever let you drive his car. Not because he doesn’t trust you with it but because he’s happy to be your chauffeur for as long as you let him. He’s always one to refuse when you offer, to grab the keys before you even think about it. He’s a gentleman at heart, even if part of him just likes to drive. But today is different. 
Steve’s practically buzzing in the passenger seat, snapping his foot against the floor mat like a rubberband and tapping his fingers where they are crossed over his arm. And he’s silent, which is weird because he’s always been the type of nervous to not be able to shut up. 
You wrap a hand around his knee, thumb caressing denim. He doesn’t acknowledge it like he normally would, gaze trained on the windshield. His eyes are glazed over like he’s somewhere else entirely. You have to call his name twice before he hums. 
“Wanna get ice cream after?” 
You barely catch his nod.
You’re grasping for anything to get him out of his head but he refuses to talk to you regardless of topic. He’s been more obliging during arguments. 
It’s not surprising that he’s anxious today, you expected it. He’s always been hesitant about doctors and only goes if he absolutely has to. But lately, this hesitation has transformed more into refusal, regardless of reason. This appointment specifically, a checkup and routine bloodwork, has been an ongoing battle with Steve for months. After his dad had a health scare, it was recommended Steve be seen to rule out anything preemptively. You’d given Steve every opportunity to schedule it himself like he claimed he would, but weeks turned into months of procrastination so you eventually phoned the doctor's office. 
Steve stalls in the parking lot. You’d turned the car off nearly ten minutes ago but he’s had to fix his hair twice, retie his shoes, and he even pretended to search for something in the glove box. You’ve been patient, but with only two minutes left until his appointment, you circle around to his side, gently guiding him out of the car. Before he can protest or claim he forgot something, you quickly lock the door behind him.
“Name?” The middle-aged woman at the front desk asks. 
“Steve,” his voice shakes so he clears his throat.  
She pops the wad of gum she was blowing, bemused at your boyfriend. “Steve…?” 
“Yeah,” he agrees.
You swipe a hand across his back, finishing, “Harrington. Steven Harrington.” 
She turns to her computer and begins typing lazily. 
“Oh,” he nods. 
She hands him a clipboard and pen, “Fill this out.”
You lean over the arm of his chair as he writes. His hands tremble around the pen and he stops to scribble out where he wrote his birthday incorrectly. You offer to do it for him but he declines. 
“Steven?” A nurse calls from the other side of the room where she’s propped a door open with her foot. You’re thankful for the short wait so Steve didn’t torture himself for long in the lobby. 
Steve doesn’t move so you squeeze the hand you’re holding, “Ready?”
He neglects to answer you but stands. You release his hand, collecting the clipboard and your things. Steve turns around, frowning and wide-eyed. “Are you coming?” 
“Yeah, baby. Do you want me to?”
He nods as you pass him his papers.
The nurse guides you down the hall, obtaining Steve’s height and weight before reaching a small room smelling of antiseptics. She takes his blood pressure, listens to his heartbeat, and jots down notes on the clipboard throughout. Steve’s breathing shallowly and staring at the floor as she works, focused on holding it together. 
When she leaves to grab the phlebotomist, Steve lets out a staggered exhale and whispers, “I really hate this.” His eyes join yours for the first time that morning, all warm and honeyed. 
You climb onto the paper sheet beside him, sealing his palm between both of yours. “I know, babe. You’re doing so good. Almost done.” 
He cranes over until his forehead meets your neck, eyelashes tickling your skin. You lean into him, planting a kiss on the nearest strip of skin. 
There’s a knock before the door swings open. A new face in the same scrubs. This one is all smiles, however, and chatting up a storm before she even sets her things down. 
Steve sprawls up slowly, eyeing the woman’s caddy as she rambles. 
She familiarizes herself with his chart before getting to work– washing her hands, ripping open the needle packaging, brushing a disinfectant wipe across his skin. It's all happening so fast. Steve’s breath picks up and his eyes dart away to the bland wall beside him. The nurse notices but doesn’t address his fear. She instead tries to distract him, asking him about how you guys met. 
A few words will find his tongue before he’s cut off by a series of gasps. He’s trying so hard to speak but his thoughts keep spilling out in a scrambled mess and that terrifies him even more. It terrifies you too– you’ve never seen him so scared. 
Steve gets a glimpse of the long needle near his arm and flinches away from her fingers. You’re pressing his face into the slope of your neck with your free hand because he keeps trying to watch what she’s doing.
“I need you to stay still, okay, hun? I’ll be so quick, I promise,” the nurse encourages. 
But as soon as her grip on his arm tightens, locking it against the table, he’s losing it. Fat tears are dribbling down his red cheeks and falling onto his lap where you’re clutching his hand. His chest convulses with shallow, uneven breaths, his muscles tensing under the strain of trying to keep his arm still. The needle slides in, and for a moment, his whole body stiffens, but she successfully finds the vein with a single poke and starts draining the blood into a vial.
Gradually, his breath starts to even out as he realizes the worst is behind him. Your fingers weave through his hairline and soothing words are whispered into his skin. A few final hiccups escape into your tear-stained collar.
“All done,” she’s patching him up with a cotton pad and tape and even you’re surprised at how quick it was. 
Steve tilts in your embrace to see the damage, unleashing a shuddered sigh. The nurse smiles at him and he offers a wobbly one back. 
Over a bowl of his favorite ice cream, he hesitantly opens up about his fear, recounting his traumatic experience with a Russian doctor. His words are thick with the weight of the painful memory and anxiety lingers through the tremble in his voice. No matter how many questions you have or how much you wish you could take away the experience, you know the best thing you can do is listen and praise him for his bravery.
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solarmorrigan · 2 years
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Okay, but imagine the absolute shit fit Eddie and Dustin would throw when it’s not either of them that finally manage to convince Steve to play D&D with them. It’s not Lucas, or Will, or even Erica, in all her terrifying, businesslike glory
It’s Mike fuckin’ Wheeler
Mike, who Steve has technically known longer than any of the other kids; who had never made a secret of when he’d thought Steve was a douchebag; who, even after Steve became de facto babysitter to the group and Mike could admit he didn’t entirely dislike him, had never quite warmed up to him the way the others had. Mike
Dustin has been on Steve’s case to join the game since they became friends, and Steve has said no every time. At first because it sounded complicated and boring and he had no interest, but later because he knows none of the other kids like him as much as Dustin does, and that’s fine, but he isn’t going to sit through something complicated and boring while a bunch of other kids glare at him
Sometime later, on one of the few nights neither Joyce nor Jonathan are available to pick Will up, and Steve is driving him home, Will mentions that it would be cool if Steve wanted to join in and play – since he has to schedule his nights around their games sometimes anyway, after all. Steve smiles and tells him thank you but no thank you. Will is kind, and patient to a fault, and Steve has no doubt Will would genuinely try to include him, but he doesn’t want anyone to feel like he should be invited as an obligation. He really doesn’t mind driving
After Steve starts playing basketball with Lucas, Lucas invites Steve in turn to play D&D with The Party. Steve turns him down, saying he’ll stick to what he’s good at. He wonders if maybe Lucas feels like they should do an exchange—Steve has given him some pointers on basketball, so maybe Lucas will give him pointers on D&D—but really, he’s happy spending his time playing with the kid. He doesn’t need to be offered anything else
Steve turns Eddie down flat no matter how much he wheedles, whines, or offers bribes of various favors and orgasms. He knows Eddie’s previous reputation, that he hasn’t been inclined to accept or be entirely patient with novices at the game in the past, so he’ll either sweep along as usual and leave Steve in the dust, or he’s planning to change his entire style to hold Steve’s hand and help him figure it out, probably to the detriment of everyone else’s enjoyment. Neither option is appealing
Erica asks Steve exactly once, telling him that the only way anyone is ever going to shut up about it is if Steve agrees to play. Steve tells her that, unfortunately, she’ll just have to continue putting up with their whining. She doesn’t seem happy, but she’s certainly not going to beg him to play, and that’s that
But then, one night, Mike watches the whole song and dance routine as Steve drops off Dustin, Lucas, and Erica; tells Dustin that no, he’s not going to stay tonight; kisses Eddie hello and also tells Eddie that no, he’s not going to stay tonight. Mike sighs loudly as Steve moves to head up the stairs and out of the basement
“Dude, we both know Eddie and Dustin have made, like, a dozen characters for you. Just pick one and play with us.”
And Steve stops
Because Mike has never pretended to like Steve. Mike has never pretended to like anyone. He’s jealously guarded membership into The Party, denying anyone he isn’t one hundred percent certain about. He’s about as protective over his nerd game as Eddie is (and as protective over his friends as Steve himself). And with no clear reason to, he’s asking Steve to join them
And Steve can’t help but admit that Mike may actually just want him to play – that maybe they all do (and maybe he sincerely does want to join them, even if it still sounds complicated and might still be boring; maybe he’ll just like spending time with them)
So he sits down and asks what the hell he’s supposed to be doing
(He’s never had so many people try to show him how to do something at once)
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Harry is an orphan, so nothing has to be more important to him than his own sense of what is right. And having always had to rely on himself to get through life, he is self possessed and self directed enough to have a very strong sense of right and wrong. And he holds himself to that scrupulously. He always does what he sees as the right thing; he will not be talked out of it. There isn’t anybody he wants to make happy more than he wants to do the right thing.
For Draco, his obligations to others, his family specifically, is the sum total of his idea of the right thing to do. From his perspective, his social and even moral obligations are limited to safeguarding the wellbeing (and when possible the prestige) of his family.
People think of Draco as a bad boy, but he’s actually very conventional. He’s a dick, but his views are not at all controversial in his social circle. When Draco realizes that toeing the party line has brought him to a place where he has to face MUCH more violence than he is capable of tolerating, he has to start thinking for himself and. Well he gets his shit absolutely rocked.
He’s working his ass off trying to protect and uplift his family, but they didn’t show him the same courtesy, not in the ways that matter. Like he got seven top of the line broomsticks when he was twelve, but also. His parents brought home a mass murderer to live in their house and taught him that this was a consummation devoutly to be wished.
And once he meets Voldemort and gets put to work for him, it’s clear that Voldemort is volatile and capricious and his goodwill cannot be counted on as reliably as his explosive anger and vengefulness. And if Draco can see it now, he must think that his parents had to have seen it before.
He has to confront the fact that his parents will cheerfully witness and participate in a level of violence and destruction that he cannot countenance. He can’t be directed by them anymore. He can’t be like them anymore. So what’s his guiding star? Who can he be? What is he supposed to do with his life if not what they’ve asked of him?
There is such an interesting contrast between the two of them! Their characters are at odds in such a fun and fascinating way! After the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry has discharged his most significant and pressing obligation, and it’s time for him to heal and regroup and figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life. And Draco is in the same place but arguably with an even more significant blow to his sense of self. Neither of them can go back to the way things were, but for Harry that’s a huge relief, and for Draco, it’s terrifying.
Harry is an extremely empathetic and generous person, and I think he would see himself in Draco’s rudderlessness and feel impelled to commiserate. And I think Draco would no longer have much reason to pretend that he hasn’t always found Harry incredibly magnetic, before he even knew who he was.
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iwendix · 6 months
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WE'RE TIED,
WE'RE BOUNDED
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request: "nsfw where we are the bride by obligation of harin and since suji arrived it caught our attention so when suji wants to recruit us to finish the pyramid game one thing leads to another or something like that". | me: well, something like that. maybe I went a little overboard with the size of the sfw part, but I hope you'll still like it!! it's actually my first time writing to request, so I'll try to be get more skilled in the future🫶🏻 |
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: not proofreaded(probably misspellings, etc), smut with a plot. harin being kinda manipulative. possessive!harin, mentioning of harin's abandonment issues. fingering, rough sex, harin being mad, harin swearing, dom!harin, sub!reader, guilt bringing, guilty!reader, fingering, edging, arranged marriege(mentioned like soon to be thing), harin called reader a bitch a couple of times. y/n using, harin teasingly call reader wife/wifey.
𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: reader and harin have been connected since their childhood, this is something normal for the children of businessmen and you are both used to it. “You'll get married and our companies will unite, it'll be beneficial!” — that's what you always heard from your parents. though, you liked harin, really and sincerely. but when suji appeared out of nowhere with this idea of her's about destroying harin's game, you saw it as an opportunity. a mistake. you shouldn't have allowed yourself to be blinded by false hope.
you, dayeon and doah — victims of circumstances and as doah once said: “victims of your parents’ ambitions and hunger for success in business". to some extent this was true, because from the moment you were children you had to constantly spend time with harin and each other. no one cared whether you wanted it or not, the main thing was that your parents wanted it that way. doah was never delighted with this situation, but she also never resented it too much, especially openly. she is too rational to be angry about something that she can't change or control. but dayeon is a completely different matter... emotional, hot tempered and in general have absolutely no tolerance to everything that annoyed her. you and doah offen “ground” her so that she doesn’t do or say anything to harin out of emotion that would lead her to being beaten by her father. seems that in your so called friend group you were the most positive about this whole situation. of course, sometimes it made you feel depressed, like you didn't even exist as a person at all, like you only existed as just an appendage to harin. or at least, this is how your father and mother treated you. anyway, you never blamed harin for this, on the contrary, as kids you two got along very well and one even can say that you became attached to harin. maybe this is one of the reasons why you're so resigned to the fact that in the future you'll be obliged to marry her. everything went as usual: harin enjoyed her game, you sometimes spent time together and, as always, she didn't understand od felt the fact that your feelings for her were sincere, genuine and real, hat you really liked her and wasn't around only because your parents told you to be.. well, or maybe she just pretended to don't understand.
your almost calm and already familiar life has changed with the arrival of a new girl. this new girl — son suji, from the very beginning seemed somehow unusual, there was something in her that wasn't in jaeun and other students. it was something decisive, something that screamed about thw problems she can cause. when you find out about her desire to deal with the game, your first thought and instinct was to tell harin as fast as possible.i mean, she loves the game so much!... she loves this game, she finds peace in it, even though, game is leading to violence mostly. It was a difficult choice: let the game be and let harin be happy or join suji and destroy the game, but harin will be devastated. you were thinking about whether you should tell harin about suji's plan but in the end you were able to pull yourself together and keep quiet. you wanted to see harin happy, you really did, and although the game made her happy, it also destroyed her to the same extent. continuing the pyramid game harin only drowned out her pain and put it in the far corner, hiding it so deep that no one could ever reach it. but in fact, this is still the same harin, the same traumatized little girl who can't forgive people for what they did to her. you thought that if the game will end harin would have to face reality, sharply and openly, without all her so painstakingly built protective walls. it would be difficult, but you would be there for her, so it won't be that bad, right?
you tried to be careful, tried not to be suspicious and too obvious but harin is too smart and attentive not to notice your strange behavior and that you suddenly began to spend time with suji and her company. she was watching what was going on with you, she wanted to make sure exactly what you were doing, cuz accusing you of something that you were not involved in would be stupid.
one day harin called you to the principal's office. of course, even the principal herself was not there as often as harin, you, dayeon and doa were there but still. you thought that this was an ordinary meeting of your “group of friends” and when you entered the room you expected to see all three, but to your surprise only harin was here. she was sitting on the headmistress's desk, her legs crossed, and her head tilted to the side, thoughtfully. her fingers hold the cigarette, her lips wrap around the filter and she takes a puff, after a few seconds releasing a stream of smoke, making you wrinkle your nose a little from the smell of nicotine that filled the room. harin's attention switched to you when she heard the door have been opened. she looks at you up and down, as if sizing you, got up from the table and walked to the door. her shoulder brushed against yours, the door is closer. it bothered you a little but you didn't pay too much attention to it. Kharin walked again to the headmistress’s desk, leaned her elbows on it and called you closer. her eyes glare into yours and she shakes off the ashes directly onto the floor and speaks.
"how are you doing lately, wifey?" she says it indifferently, but you can't help but frown a little at her words. did she really just called you "wifey"?... this is a teasing nickname that dayeon and wooyi gave you when they first heard that yours and harin's parents were planning to get you two married. you sighed and just nodded, meaning that you're fine. harin raises an eyebrow at this and takes another drag on the cigarette, her plump, pink lips wrapped around cigarette... focus. you need to focus.
"everything's alright, you say? hm. then tell me, am I blind?"
you confused by her question but shake your head.
"then maybe I'm deaf?"
you shake your head again.
"mhm... do you think I'm stupid then?"
you're even more confused now. "no, of course i don't think so. what are you talking about, harin-ah?..."
harin takes one last drag on her cigarette before throwing it on the floor, stepping on it with the tip of her lacquered shoe and trampling cigarette. her hands rise to the collar of your shirt, first gently touching it, as if simply straightening it, and then she sharply tugs on it, pulling you towards herseld, causing you to stagger, almost falling and yelp, grabbing her shoulder to maintain your balance.
"then why do you think that I don't know what suji is planning? why do you think that I don’t know that you’re involved?" harin clicks her tongue, her hand comes up to your chin, at first just lifting it, forcing you to look into her eyes, and then squeezing it a little. "you know, I trusted you. yes, a little, but it's still more than my trust to others."
you open your mouth to speak, to explain that you didn’t do and didn’t want anything bad for her, but you are interrupted when harin squeezes your chin painfully and interrupts you. "shut up."
you fall silent, just bite the inside of your cheek, trying to distract yourself from the pain in your chin and harin's piercing gaze that digs right into your eyes.
"you know, our parents have been planning our wedding since childhood. uou never had a say in this, did you? mm, but by the way, I was kinda the initiator of this. I once said as a child that I wanted to marry you, and my grandma really took it seriously because it’s good for business. I've always thought that you're a little... more reasonable than dayeon, doa and others, that's why I chose you. i thought all this have some sense and meaning to you too. seems, I was wrong." Harin's grip on your chin weakens and her hand trails to your cheek, stroking it gently. In different situation, you would have been glad of such an affection from her, but now it felt like something empty.
"you wanted to destroy the game, right? destroy the only thing I value? and how can you do this to me, y/n? conscience doesn't gnaw you at all?"
with every word she says, you begin to feel guilt it gathers drop by drop, turning into a whole damn ocean which will overflow its shores if harin continued just a little bit longer and push just a little harder.
"silent? well, of course, of course... maybe that's why your parents don't really care about you." she shrugs as if it was the most normal thing to say. you know that when harin upset she is far from nice, so you're not surprised when she said something like that. besides, you always knew that your parents didn’t really care about you... but still, you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t upset you.
"I'm disappointed." she added, and yeah, you can see it, disappointment etched in her eyes and you can see that she is stressed too. considering her abandonment issues, the fact that you were interested in suji's plan must have hit harin harder than she lets on. suddenly harin grabs your hips and with a sharp movement turns you around, lifting you up and placing you on the principal's desk, almost pinning you to it. her fingers they found a way to the collar of your shirt, simply tearing off the top button, revealing a view of your neck. the tip of the nose touches your neck, and the tongue smoothly traces a line along your vein. she is so close that you can smell her perfume: delicate, sweet, and an admixture of such a sharp aroma of tobacco. this combination of different aroma is already familia her habds gripping your hips almost painfully, forcing you to bite your lip to keep yourself from squeeking. you know that harin is stressed and upset, she needs it. her lips leave imprints of light pink lip gloss on your neck, wet kisses placed all over your neck. her knee move between your legs, pushing your soft thighs apart, and finally her knee presses against your crotch, giving you some friction. a quiet gasp leaves you and at that moment harin nibbled on your neck and sucked on your skin, leaving red mark, which in the future will become a small bruise, she loves to leave hickeys on you, to feel control. she's a little more rough today, more harsh than usually and you understand that you really hurt her, even if you didn't mean to in the first place. harin gets rid of your shirt and pulls your skirt and panties down to your knees. she says that you are already wet, but of course, today she'll torture you a little, she'll make sure you know that she is upset with you. her gentle hands gripping your waist so tightly, that there will probably be a bruises. she pishe you more onto the table making you literally lay on it, she leans over you, her tongue extends from your neck to your collarbones, paying attention to them, and then to your chest. her lips wrap around one of your nipples, first sucking and then squeezing with her teeth and tugging it. you arch your back, the back of your head hitting the table, but you ignore it, just trying to cope with what harin is now doing to your breast. it’s a bit painful, but your nipples are hard, so this treatment aroused you too. though, harin aroused you always, no matter harsh she or gentle.
"harin..." your voice trembled, she interrupted you.
"how could you do this to me, y/n? wanted to leave me? betray for suji? no, you're mine and that's it. you're only for me... I'll keep you that way..." she sounds confident, dominant even, as if trying to clearly highlight that she is in charge now, that you don't decide anything. but there is also a little trembling in her voice, she's not only stressed but also worried too, as if she is trying to onvince herself that she is still in control of the situation and what is happening between you two.
"spread your legs" harin saud sternly and you do as she asked. she frowned. "I said spread your fucking legs!..." you feel slap on your thigh and hard grip on your ass, you squeek and winced in pain but spread your legs further, trying to please her. harin grunted annoyedly. "what a bitch... why can't you just do what I'm telling you to..." she placed her hands on your knees and pushed them appart even more. fortunately, you have been doing gymnastics since childhood and you're flexible, cuz if you didn’t have such a flexible body, you would already be writhing in pain from such a strong pressure. you're already so wet that wetness even covered the table a little. without warning, harin suddenly pushed two fingers into you all the way, you whimpered, intuitively trying to close your legs but harin give you a stern look and you know better than upset her even more, especially since you're the one who upset her so much already. her lips kiss yours deeply, her tongue insistently pushes into your mouth, and her fingers continued pumping inside you. her movements so fast and harsh, deeper with each thrust. feels like like she's going to reach your cervix if keep moving like this. harin feels that you really lack air and takes pity on you a little, interrupting the kiss and giving you a chance to breathe. her fingers curl inside you, hitting all your sensitive spots and coaxing moans out of you.
"fucking!.... take it!..." harin growled and pushed inside you even more, thrusts so deep and hard that even she herself almost breathless. her digits literally knocks whimpers and high pitched moans out of you. your eyes watering and your legs trembling because of intensity of all this. harin feels the walls of your pussy clench around her fingers, her thumb is on your clitoris, massaging it, and her thrusts do not stop. you're literally at the peak, you can almost feel the nearing release.
"don't even think I'll let you cum now. you won't cum, or I'll fuck your brains out. don't fucking make me upset, y/n."
tears run down your cheeks due to overstimulation, you clenching around harin's fingers so much that it's even getting hard for her to move.
"please... harin i can't.... I'm sorry... I won't leave you, i swear, i never ever wanted to even..." you say, trough gasps for air. harin's eyes softenes a little, as well as her grip on your thighs. her soft spot for you getting better of her. harin's lips on yours, the kiss is much more calm and gentle than last, and her thrusts slowed down, becoming more pleasant than painful. you can't take it anymore, your walls clenching around her for the last time and you feel like everything fading away, pure pleasure etching with some pain in your sore muscles. harin pulls her fingers out off your pink and puffy from her harshness pussy, her knuckles all drenched in your juices, white and slick all over. she brings then to your lips.
"such a mess you made... as always. i guess, it's just the way you are, right? just a messy little girl who don't know better than upset her future wife. clean up, and maybe I'll think about letting you speak about what you have to say. after all, you're mine, who else will ever listen to you?"
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maaikeatthefullmoon · 5 months
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Once upon a time, there was a Good Omens fanfiction reader, who swore they didn't like AUs.
They read all the discussions about the 'classics', the 'must reads' and shrugged.
"But it's not canon", they muttered to themself. "They're not human. How on Earth can anyone write these stories about them when they're not actually bloody human? It’s not right."
And then, dear reader, they were persuaded to read just one AU. They were still an angel and a demon, just in a slightly different universe. And then...then they tried a human AU. And then...then they were hooked. Obsessed, one might say.
That reader, dear reader, was me. Of course. Obviously. Well, duh. And I would like to share the obsession in the form of some recommendations.
I have the wonderful @shadesofecclescakes to thank for MANY of these absolute beauties, she is absolutely the QUEEN of recommendations (and medicinal gifs).
So, now, in no particular order, some Highly Recommended AUs:
Or Be Nice by charlottemadison Rated E - A is a bookseller, C is a drummer, they are BOTH petty bitches. They're newly neighbours. C has a CAT and I'm there for it, he also has migraines and I hard relate. It's bitchy and the pranks were DIVINE. It was also deliciously spicy. The loveliness is that the author really captured the flawed nature of humans but also how it can be overcome. Same author as What We Make of It (what was Shotgun Wedding - an absolute GO AU CLASSIC and one of the best things I've ever read)
Not a Mounted Dildo but a Fuck Machine by NaroMoreau & summerofspock Rated E - So very, very E. This one was just filthy. So wonderfully filthy. The authors would like to tell you there was no plot to their porn, but there really was. A meets a girl online, because A is straight. He really is. Honest. But then, oops, lockdown happens. But, it's a good thing, really. For his best homeboy C is there, to help this poor virgin 'learn the ropes' for when lockdown is over and he goes on his first date...with the girl he's so very much into...coz, no homo, yo...;)
The Whole Damned World Seemed Upside Down by WyvernQuill Rated M - An AU in the way that it's still angel/demon but after Crowley makes a wish for things to be 'different', the universe obliges...and he's dumped into a reality which is very, very different to what he knew. He learns some truths and there's a whole lot of drama. Beautifully written with a wonderful plot and great drama. Excellently described and would make for great TV. (Oh, and Death in the new reality is really squeamish - it's brilliant.)
Telling Tall Tales by Siobhans_World Rated E - A sweet pretend relationship fic, where A pretends to be Maggie's boyfriend to help her pass as straight for her family. But he then meets her cousin, C, who he then inevitably (ineffably?) falls for. Miscommunication, angst, fluff, gay panic, it's got everything.
Flawless by @mrghostrat & @chernozemm Rated E - I've decided only to include one fic by each author and boyyy was it hard for ghostrat! But Flawless was, well, flawless. For such a relatively short story, it kept us guessing until the end. The characters were all beautifully written - the flaws (ha.) were DEEP and CRACKED but so fucking perfectly sculpted and presented. It was incredibly real and believable. Extremely maturely written and satisfying. AND THE ART!!!
How To Pull An Angel: A Bunnings DIY Guide by NascentSurrender Rated M - When I first saw the title, I thought it was going to be a silly, irreverent, comedy romp. But it was actually a funny, well written story that will stick in my mind always. Firstly, C watches Bluey - which is now CANON for me. Secondly, having lived in Aus as a child, I've got a soft spot for the country anyway, and I've barely ever seen it come up, so this was lovely. There were some wonderfully humorous bits, but also tender and beautiful moments that I adored.
Montreal Confidential by Maggie_Honeybite Rated E - I learned about Montreal (and Canada & their baked goods), classical music and mafia stuff in this fic. A is a widower. C plays the cello. His cello's name is Bentley. This is one of the only age-gap, mild D/s fics I've actually gotten into. There's fluff AND drama. CW for non-con (not A/C)
Under the Summer Stars by @pannotbread Rated E - an amazing astrophysics/astroecology/astrobiology fic that has pining, slow burn and Only One Telescope (yes, really, and it's everything you'd imagine). It's got beautifully written (erotic) imagery and So Much Science that's been written accessibly but still with amazing detail. It's poetry. It's hot. It's gorgeous. CW for internalised homophobia and self hatred. *Not completed yet*
Oddity by @tsyvia48 Rated E - A museum fic! About David Bowie! A is in charge of collections, C is an actor hired by (highly incompetent) Gabriel to guest curate a new Bowie exhibit. Miscommunication ensues for delicious tension. There's bitchiness, there's a bit of light angst, there's a lotta love. *Not Completed Yet* Poetry Carved In Flesh by @fellandcrow Rated E - I'm obsessed by tattoos. Hence, I am obsessed by this story. I'm planning a(n enormous) GO tattoo once GO3 is out, and this fic has actually helped me with my ideas. London-based A stalks lovingly follows Edinburgh-based tattoo artist C online. They build up a rapport. Well, C likes A. A is SMITTEN with C. C encourages A to get tattoos. Which he does. C designs a tattoo especially for A, the fic has currently left off at the point where C is in London and going to tattoo A. *Not Completed Yet*
There Is A Light & It Never Goes Out by @phoen1xr0se Rated M - A escapes from a disappointing, chaotic life to a remote island for five months to do research on puffins. There he meets lighthouse keeper C. Who also ran away, 20 odd years ago. There is a chaotic, found family on the island, but it is small, and it is lovely. This fic is written with love and passion and the imagery is so beautiful. The author has actually gone to do Actual. Physical. Research. on puffins. So how is THAT for dedication? Cannot wait until it resumes. *Not Completed Yet*
Ok, because I am Bad At Tumblr, I've not tagged the majority of authors, if you are on here - please let me know if you're here and I'll edit!
I should probably add in the following, I suppose. I'm writing an AU.
Free by, well, me. Imposterssyndrome (yes I know it's Imposter Syndrome, but that one already existed) Rated E - A runs a bookshop, C has an unfortunate past as a runaway ex-addict. They meet in an acute mental health ward after both having had a mental health crisis. Eventually A invites C to move in, and they navigate sharing a space, and their lives together. The story starts heavy, and is an emotional roller coaster, but there are moments of fluff and smut mixed in. There is a happy ending, I promise. It's a passion project, heavily researched and has a LOT of lived experience in it. I've gotten to know some amazing people through it who have messaged me and shared their experiences and I'm so glad I wrote it. *Not Completed Yet*
Last thing to say - once I finish Free, I will be teaming up with @shadesofecclescakes to write another human AU which is VERY much in her wheelhouse and I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. I just know you're all going to LOVE it. The only thing that will make it even better is ART, so we're still on the hunt for someone.
**Last-last thing to say. I’ve missed off a few Biggies. There are some super popular AUs, mostly written around 2019. Most people will have read them. I’ve tried to focus on the perhaps lesser-known & WIP ones. Although I know many people don’t read WIPs, hopefully you’ll (book)mark them for future!**
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genericpuff · 3 months
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I know LO has been over for a while but something that's always confused me is the 10 year punishment thing. (I dropped the comic before the judgment so correct me if im wrong)
apparently Persephone was sentenced to 10 years in the mortal realm. Yet she complains that Zeus keeps extending her punishment but the timeskip only ends up being 10 years? (From 20 yrs old to 30). that makes it sound like she had a shorter sentence that was extended to 10 yrs (what a fuckin slap on the wrist if it was).
Either her punishment was 10 yrs and Perse was just banking on early parole release or she always had a short sentence which ended up being a measly 10 yrs anyway.
But then that would mean Demeter's punishment period was either tied directly to Persephone's or (for some reason) she had a full 10 yr sentence while Persephone got an initial shorter period
If it's not either of those then shouldn't her punishment be longer? 11, 12, 15, 20 yrs instead? Would make more sense that she was mad if she had to serve at least twice as long as she was told to
Ah so actually she wasn't sentenced to 10 years, she was basically sentenced to a perpetual punishment until Zeus felt certain conditions were met, such as her filling all of the responsibilities of Demeter and turning Minthe back to normal.
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So the reason it wound up being 10 years was because Zeus kept finding reasons to extend the sentencing, clearly in an attempt to keep her away from Apollo as he was already suspecting that he might use Persephone's fertility goddess powers to overthrow him.
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(joke's on Zeus though, he was overthrown with a poison cupcake lmaooo)
That said, Persephone was... really dumb when she failed her 10th inspection. Primarily because she broke one of the rules Zeus put in place for her before he did the inspection-
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Like it's really funny in hindsight to read this scene because at the time the narrative was definitely trying to make us believe that Zeus was the bad guy here, and to a point he's definitely fucking around and not actually planning on letting her out of confinement while also doing jack shit to get to the bottom of his own suspicions regarding his son... but also girl, if your plan was to prove to Zeus that you had filled your end of the bargain, then why try and give him the letter prior to your once-a-year inspection? Either you're failed again over some arbitrary made-up bullshit reason so you can use the guilt-trip method after he's already screwed you over, or best case, you pass and you can deliver the letter to Hades yourself! It was a really dumb move on her part to immediately jump to asking him to bend the rules he made for her when she should know Zeus isn't gonna feel obligated to 'owe' her anything, and is completely contrary to her being as "smart and cunning" as the narrative tries to make us believe (remember when she hustled Hades at chess and lied to him about having a driver's license? where's that Persephone?)
And yeah Zeus really isn't wrong when it comes to how Persephone herself is such a "uwu look at me I'm a smol widdle baby girl, please break the terms of my punishment for me because I asked with tented eyebrows bats eyelashes" , this is honestly why so many people like Zeus as a character in LO contrary to how much the narrative tries to make us hate him, because while he's absolutely an asshole who deserves to be knocked down a peg, at least the narrative doesn't try to gaslight us into thinking he's a good person like it does with H x P. Zeus is a shithead but unapologetically authentic; Persephone and Hades both pretend like they're saints on earth (and the narrative tries to sell them to us as such) meanwhile they're constantly picking on lower class people and using their power and influence to get their way even when they haven't earned it.
But also yeah, it's funny how the fans will say "age doesn't matter when you're a god, time doesn't mean anything when you're immortal" to dismiss the massive age gap between Hades and Persephone, but then cry foul over Zeus keeping her in confinement for 10 years which is a pretty bare ass minimum sentence when you really think about it. Like, if the passage of time really is that inconsequential to a god, then how is 10 years even a punishment? It's only suddenly seen as a massively unfair punishment when it's Persephone who's suffering it.
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weirdmageddon · 11 months
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i posted this on twitter also but it’s still eating at me. i’m so fucking embarrassed to be jewish rn. i dont want to be associated with this ongoing bullshit from israel. why do we need our own state. theyre just making every jew across the globe look bad in general even though many of us are conflicted about zionism and the legitimacy of israel as a state
people have hated jews throughout history for no fuckin reason but now israel exists but now its like. GIVING people reasons to hate us as a group. note that i DON’T conflate zionism with jewishness, but a lot of people in the world don’t know the difference because theyre uninformed and been dripfed cultural antisemitic tropes their whole life and that’s the scary part is them falsely putting two and two together. like what the fuck israel stop youre just putting fuel on the fire for people around the world to hate an entire group of historically persecuted people if youre being this shitty with your insane colonialism and apartheid like……I Want No Fuckin Part Of This. you’re spelling our own doom. you cant just swoop in and go “mine now” and then oppress the people you took land from under a regime without my blood boiling at the injustice no matter WHO you are. even if my lineage is tied to you. so when news outlets support israel it doesn’t feel like they have the best interest of jews as a people in mind. it’s in the interest of a zionist ethnostate and whatever that christian zionism belief is about the jewish people returning to the holy land as prerequisite for the second coming of jesus. its not like they care about us as a dispersed ethnocultural group, it’s all for that religious narrative that a bunch of people in the US are backing.
saying you want all jews to die is antisemitic. beating someone up because they’re jewish and no other reason without knowing their views is antisemitic. criticizing human rights violations perpetrated by israel and the belief that one group deserves more rights another is not antisemitic. and the fact that israel has the ability to pull that antisemitism card in response to criticisms of the violations they commit because their state is the “jewish homeland” drives me fucking insane. take fucking accountability for your actions. and yes, there do exist full-on anti-jewish groups in the middle east that go beyond hatred of israel’s policies and existence as a state and i’m tired of people pretending there aren’t in fear of appearing to seem like they support the state of israel. on the other side of things many people overestimate this by fearmongering and saying EVERY arab is out to get jews worldwide, telling people like me “they want YOU dead”. this is not the belief every person in the middle east and it really rubs me the wrong way that people group millions of individuals into all-encompassing lumps like this. many people there do understand nuance of this political situation.
even if i have that “right of return” by israeli law or whatever, i don’t feel obliged to it; it does not register as fair. why do i have a “right of return” when i’ve never even been there in the first place while palestinians who have homes there can’t return to them? what’s the basis for that? substituting objective reality with an imaginary reality? i don’t think like that. i can hypothetically come and go whenever i please but palestinians are severely limited in mobility? what makes me more entitled to that land than the people who lived there for centuries? nothing that comes from natural law thats for sure. it’s all artificial and inflated.
but at the same time i also dont want to be the target of antisemitism and caught in the fray just for being ethnically jewish. once people start calling for the genocide of entire groups we’ve got issues (and you better believe this absolutely applies to the palestinian victims in gaza too), because people who dissent to the violence perpetrated by the loudest are caught in there with the people who are perpetrating the violence. lack of nuance. people conflating israel and its zionist apartheid policies with jewish ethnicity and culture worldwide. other people conflating being terrorist anti-jew with muslims worldwide (like that 6-year old palestinian-american boy that was just stabbed to death in chicago). scary times man. but as a jew i can’t just opt out of this if it’s how i was born as. i don’t have control over that. but i can control what i think and what my beliefs are
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 6 months
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Casual intimacy
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a/n Cracks knuckles… let’s go… 🙃 I loved writing this so I hope you will enjoyed reading it. Cause this one cracked something deep within me. 🫧🤭
request: Hiii! I absolutely love your work I think you're so talented. If you have time can I request an angsty Ruhn x Reader, maybe he gets jealous or something because she has such a bubbly personality and guys flock to her?
warning: a bit suggestive here and there, alcohol, drugs, smoking.
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Ruhn was tired. Playing pretend always drained him. For the most part, he bit back at his father, but even there were limits. And when his father wasn’t at the center of his headaches, the fact that he was a crowned prince was. Ruhn flicked the cigarette out of the open car window as he waited for the light to turn green. “Be on the bed when I get back," he typed out quickly. A slight smile tugged at his lips.
Ruhn imagined that crimson haze creeping onto your cheeks. You had been an angel when you two first met. More like a caged bird. And while the world saw him as a devil who made a good girl go bad, in reality, he had freed you from the chains that had bound you to the dark cell for eternity. And if everyone was having a fright at the sight of a cigarette or a shot glass in your hand, they could all go fuck themselves.
A ding had Ruhn glancing at the screen in his car. "Unfortunately, I won’t be able to oblige," the message read, and Ruhn frowned. He blinked a couple of times. It was usually “you’re an idiot” or a nice picture that sent him pressing his foot just a bit more on the gas. What was the reason for this? Did you get your period? But that wasn’t very likely. Ruhn could sense when the red flow was coming. And you weren’t talking about cramps. He was about to fire out a quick “because?” when another ding sounded. And a picture appeared on the dash. A growl ripped through him. Here you stood. An innocent smile, still in the dress Ruhn had watched you put on this morning. By your side stood Flynn, who looked like a lost dog, glancing at the half-made sandwich on the counter. No, this wasn’t happening. Not tonight.
Ruhn quickly dialed your phone, gripping the steering wheel tightly. You didn’t even get a chance to breathe on the other side as he huffed, “What the fuck?” The music was almost deafening. So was the sea of voices. That scraped like a nail against his mind. “Hey, hotshot, this wasn’t my idea," you chirped, and as much as Ruhn was frustrated, the sound of your voice alone made his shoulders ease. “Tell them to fuck off," he hissed. He should have moved out long ago. Gotten you two an apartment and called it a day. “I can’t do that; I don’t live here." You chuckled softly, giggling at something Flynn said. Ruhn frowned. “You are my girlfriend; you are entitled to do what you want there," he pointed out. You had refused the title. Refused any benefits dating someone like him brought. The doors it opened. It was one of many reasons Ruhn loved you. Because for the very first time, he felt more than his title. More than just a pawn in someone’s game.
"Ruhn, I am not ordering two grown men around," you said, and while Ruhn didn’t agree, he didn’t get to voice his opinion because his words got overshadowed by someone calling for you. “Oh yeah, you can find that upstairs," you said, Ruhn could hear the smile on your face. "Babe," he called out, not loving the idea that someone had managed to steal your attention from him. “Oh, no, it’s okay. Call if you need anything." From the way your voice sounded, he could also tell that you had the phone away from your ear, so he used other methods. Trusted kind.
Y/n. He spoke within your linked hearts. Feeling the fluster in your heart at his call. But his hope got crushed as soon as it bloomed. Give me a moment, Ruhn. Ruhn not even a hotshot, not a babe. Ruhn gritted his jaw. “No, liquor is on the right shelf," you said, as he listened to you try to get through the crowd of people. “Get your legs off the counter, you freak," you hissed, followed by the sound of a chair being dragged back. "Yeah, sorry, the house is full," you muttered slightly under your breath, and suddenly he was back to hating that party. Because you had woken before the sun had even been up. Studies and work keep you busy. Even if Ruhn had told you many times that you didn’t have to work,
“I am sending them to Urd and then fucking back," he grunted, making you let out a chuckle. The sound of it still made his stomach warm. “Light up, they brought shit to smoke," you sighed, and while he enjoyed a good smoke, especially if you joined him, and even more so if you both rode the aftermath together, he just didn’t want that today. “I don’t...", Ruhn had started when a loud bag came from somewhere in the house, and the place erupted in gassing shouts and angry grunting. “Fuck, got to go," you breathed. "Drive, save, baby," you muttered. “Y/N, don’t go near...”, but the line went dead. "Fuck," the princeling hissed. Oh, he was going to hang both Dec and Flynn by their balls, and he was going to enjoy every second of it.
You were nowhere to be seen when he stepped into the madness of the house. Ruhn felt you, so that had to be good enough for now. You were in the house. The question, however, was where exactly that was. "Man, this is sick." Some guy clasped a hand over Ruhn’s shoulder, making the crowned prince bat the touch away stiffly. “Yeah, dude, you’re dope!" the other shouted, his eyes red as fire. There was too much substance in his body. Ruhn frowned, trying not to show the disgust on his face. “Get your shoes off my fucking carpet," he hissed in dismissal, walking past them. His frustration only grew the more he looked around for you. If not for the music, he would reach out through the bond once again. But his head was pounding, and he knew there was no way for him to concentrate enough.
Then Ruhn’s eyes fell on a small group forming near the kitchen. It wasn’t usual. If people did drugs or mixed drinks, they usually went in groups of two. Not a whole fucking sea of them. An itch inside him flared up, and he didn’t even realize it when he started walking towards it.
“So how did you do it?”, a lazy voice asked as Ruhn approached. “I just painted, silly," and that was all it took for his body to ignite. No one even matched the power your light voice had on his body. “Yeah, but that’s one big canvas," another voice slurred. Ruhn licked his lips as he stepped through the arc, and the sight was far from what he had hoped for. There you stood, a white angel in a sea of hacks. Pouncing on you for a nibble.
“I didn’t sleep, I mean," Ruhn watched as a blush on your cheeks. “Colors just guided me. It sounds insane, I know, and no, I was not high," you said sheepishly, making everyone in the room chuckle. But Ruhn saw it. The way they looked at you. They didn’t care about this. Didn’t care about your passion. Didn’t care about the spark in your eyes as you spoke of the things you loved. You were a spectacle. A pretty thing to look at. But it’s when one of them reached out to tuck the hair that had slipped out of your silk bow that Ruhn stepped forward, yanking one of the guys by the back of the shirt as he shouldered past them.
He only managed to catch a glimpse of you inhaling before his hand wrapped around your neck as he pulled you closer to him. Crashing his lips against your red-painted ones. You melted against him. He cared little for anything else as he bent slightly to grab at your thighs, lifting you and guiding you onto the counter as he spread your legs, stepping in between them. Before his fingers found your hips, he pulled you against him. "Ruhn." Your voice was breathy and weak as you wrapped your legs tighter around his middle. “Want to moan that louder?”, he teased, his lips hovering over your neck as he pinched your bum, making you squeal. “I leave you for a day and come to find you in a sea of men," Ruhn hissed with a shake of his head. You knew that it wasn’t anger. It was more lust and that sparkle of possessiveness.
“Jealous much?”, you purred, smirking as you ran your fingers over his jaw. “Don’t play with me, woman," he muttered, his hand once again wrapping around your throat as he inched closer. "Oh," you coo, “I forgot that you’re just a baby." You sighed, cupping his cheeks, but that was short-lived. One moment you were still on the counter, the other in the air and over your boyfriend’s shoulder.
“Ruhn Danaan, put me down." You wiggled in his hands. Tried to hit his chest but for nothing. If anything, that only earned you a slap on your bum and another gasp as your cheeks flared to life with red. “You...", you hissed out, but Ruhn only settled his hand on your ass, keeping the dress over your exposed bottom. Not too keen on others getting a glimpse at what lay underneath. “Don’t finish that unless you want me to spank you again," he mussed, smug as a cat as he moved through the crowd of people.
Whistling met you right by the stairs. One that Ruhn recognized, considering that he stopped. “You two are in deep shit," the crowned prince hissed, throwing a glance at his two best friends. But all they did was laugh. “Fuck it out of him, Yn, please," Dec mussed, grinding his hips in the air. “Suck one-off for the team," Flynn saluted as you three burst into laughter. It appeared that only Ruhn didn’t find that appealing. And something told you that if you weren’t over his shoulder now, friend or not, they might just taste the back of Ruhn’s hand. But he only cursed under his breath. “I will leave you two dickless," he threatened, reaching for the railing as the two man-children moaned and growled downstairs.
Ruhn was breathing heavily when he finally closed the door of his bedroom. It wasn’t from your weight. It just all started to cave in on him as he lowered you to the ground. You nibbled against his neck, pulling away to reach for the hem of your dress, but Ruhn caught your wrist, guiding you closer to him. "No," he muttered. A slight shake of his head told you that he was dead serious, too. “Did you just say no to...", You had started in a teasing tone, but there was something in his eyes that made you stop. "Ruhn," you called out way softer now, brushing your fingers up and down his arms. “Come here, darling," you said, wrapping your arms around him. He wasn’t fully open and vulnerable often. And when he was. That meant that whatever you two were doing, you were the ones who would have to carry the heavy load. Just for a bit. until he finds his footing again.
“If this is about the males, I didn’t even for a second…," you muttered against his chest, but Ruhn only grunted, “I know you weren’t interested. It’s just…” he took a deep breath, “a long day." You knew how much more those three words implied. How much more complex it was. But you also knew that the last thing he needed was you trying to drag it all out of him. “Why don’t you lay down?”, you asked softly, brushing your fingers over his lower back.
“I’m okay here," he said quietly. The hold on your body didn’t ease. “Come on, we’ll lay naked; I’ll roll you a blunt," you poked at his chest, shooting him a loving smile as you wiggled your eyebrows. Ruhn let out a slight chuckle as he reached for the buttons on his shirt. You helped him drag the material off his body, kneeling to undo his shoes. Ruhn caught your chin, pulling your head up so you would look at him through your lashes. "Fuck, it never gets old," he grunted, brushing his finger over your slightly smudged red lip. You only grinned up at him, leaning in to kiss his thigh as you pushed his pants off him all the way.
Ruhn watched you in a daze before you pushed at his chest, sending him sprawled out on the mattress. He drank every movement you made. You reaching for a bag of mirth-root, licking the edge of the paper as you finish the roll. Lighting it up and taking the first hit before handing it to Ruhn. He watched the cloud of smoke flaring around you as you reached for your dress, pulling it over your head. He could very easily die here right now. And go to Urd as a happy man if the last sight he saw was you in nothing but a black thong.
It was this exact casual intimacy that had him running at first. He was frightened to feel secure with someone like that. To have someone trust him like that. Ruhn reached out, his hands gripping your thighs as he pulled you over onto him. A blunt burning between his teeth. You straddled his naked body with ease. The movement was second nature by now. “What do you need?”, you asked softly, brushing some of the hair away from his face. Ruhn found himself opening his mouth but shutting it closed once more. He didn’t know. He was only aware that he needed you but was not sure how. Bent over the counter? Seated on his face? Snuggled up against him? With you holding him instead? “That’s okay, we will figure it out." You leaned in and pressed a kiss on his chest, leaving feather-like brushes over his exposed skin. “You’ll tell me when you’ll know," you breathed, pulling back up to look into his purple eyes. He didn’t answer, wrapping an arm around your back as he pulled you closer to him. Skin to skin. There was nothing between you two. You rested your face on the crook of his neck, feeling him take another drag of the cigarette in silence. His silence. One that you threaded for him. Painted it. And for the first time in what felt like forever, Ruhn realized that there was no other sound around him, just a steady beat of your heart.
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underdark-dreams · 1 year
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ok, I'm too cowardly to actually reply to your post about Rolan/ Dammon headcannons/ prompts but here are a few:
Rolan:
-He finally gets to be hero, he saves Tav from some scenario and when Tav is thanking him he has no idea what to do with himself.
-Cal and Lia being siblings and absolutely embarrassing him anytime Tav is around. (Sharing embarrassing but endearing stories from when they were younger, hinting at his feelings for Tav, making kissy faces from behind Tav when he's trying to have a conversation.)
-Also, I just have a feeling that he's a jealous green monster whenever someone who isn't any one the companions try and talk to Tav.. especially if its another wizard.
Dammon:
-Him trying to muster up the courage to ask Tav out when he has his shop in Baulders Gate.
-Dammon would 100% be the type who wants to court someone the 'proper' way, but could be convinced otherwise.
-He seems like he would act like a love sick puppy when he's in love.
Thank you for this delicious bouquet of ideas!! 🖤 Twirling my hair over these!! I do want to save a few for fics, but I couldn’t look at this in my inbox any longer without writing out some headcanons:
Rolan 
[Cal & Lia embarrassing him around Tav]
The three of them have a super close bond underneath all the bickering. So the absolute second Rolan catches feelings, Cal & Lia smell blood in the water
Honestly they probably catch it before Rolan admits him to himself
When Lia starts to drop hints or Cal asks if he’s gotten up the nerve to kiss them yet, Rolan is like "what? stop being stupid"
But then he turns away & checks in with himself for a second & he's like "oh fuck"
Rolan makes an effort to only interact with Tav far away from his home, his workplace, the general vicinity of his neighborhood in Baldur’s Gate—basically avoiding anywhere they might run into his sister or brother. They already make him nervous enough
But once they start getting closer he also really wants to bring them home, so at some point, he’ll suck it up and face this potential trainwreck head-on
His siblings make light conversation over dinner about what Tav’s been doing or working on lately. Lia’s like “oh yeah Rolan mentioned that, you know he talks about you a lot, like all the time”
Tav’s hand silently taking his under the table is the only thing that could distract Rolan from snapping back
Somehow, Rolan is even more embarrassed when his siblings start genuinely reminiscing and telling Tav stories about the three of them growing up in Elturel
He’ll chime in if Tav asks him a question, but otherwise he’s pretty quiet. Rolan doesn’t want them to think about him as a refugee or an orphan
In his mind, he still thinks he needs to be powerful and significant in order to truly deserve Tav’s affection
If Rolan paid any attention, he’d realize that Cal and Lia talking up what a stubborn, protective big brother he’s always been is putting stars in Tav’s eyes
[Jealousy]
He’s so fucking jealous and it drives him crazy
Rolan likes controlling the narrative, keeping any vulnerability under control & well hidden from others, etc.
Falling in love with Tav creates a big complication in the way he usually operates
Once he’s master of Ramazith’s Tower, he has a certain amount of social obligations—hosting members of the wizarding community, professional gatherings, etc
And Tav is an integral part of his life now, so they'll always be involved to some extent
Midway through the evening, Rolan glances across the room and sees one of his colleagues talking much closer than he'd like to his beloved. As he watches, their hand actually reaches out to touch Tav’s elbow
Whatever he's doing or whoever he's conversing with is abandoned without ceremony
Rolan does that thing where he casually walks up to join the conversation and places a hand on the small of Tav's back, just resting there with a slight smile as he pretends to listen. But he’s staking his claim
In his head the gesture means step the fuck back, this person is with me. It’s honestly about as subtle as a sledgehammer
After they're finally alone again he'll probably want to fuck Tav on his desk or against one of the bookstacks in the Tower
Capturing them for himself and hearing them moan his name and making sure they know they’re his
Dammon
[Working up the courage to ask Tav out]
He’s been really glad their paths have converged here and there along the way, but nothing could make him prouder than when Tav comes to visit the Forge of Nine Hells in the city
Dammon is completely in his element in Baldur’s Gate
He’s pretty modest and down-to-earth, but he feels a swell of pride when Tav finally sees him running a proper forge. It’s how he always hoped they’d see him
And is it just his imagination, or does he see them…often? Almost every day they’re dropping by for one reason or the other, and they seem to linger to chat and watch him work
The hints that they’re interested are all Dammon needs to start working up his courage to make a move
He's alone and tied to his work most of the day, which gives his mind ample time to run through different options
Getting the timing right drives him a little crazy. So often Tav is in a hurry, or with their companions, or he's got a rush commission that he has to get finished
When he finally finds the moment, he’ll probably come right out with it & ask them out for a drink. He wants something simple where they can talk, plus smithing is thirsty work
When Tav agrees with a smile, Dammon drops everything, his leather apron snagging as he pulls it over his horns in his haste to get going
Gathers his courage and puts an arm around their shoulders as they walk
With anyone else Dammon would be self-conscious about how he smells like iron and smoke and sweat all the time. But if anyone can look past it it’s Tav, with everything they’ve been through
A feeling that's confirmed when they lean further into him with a laugh
[Being totally lovesick over Tav]
The definition of devoted
He would 100% be that type of boyfriend who likes to be always touching Tav when they’re close
Prefers to rest his hand on their hip while they’re side by side, maybe on the curve of their ass if he can get away with it. The contrast against the doting look in his eye is classic Dammon—sweet and hot 
It's not a possessiveness thing, and he'd tone it down if Tav asked, he's just super into them & touching them feels natural
Just in general, he loves telling Tav yes and has a very hard time telling them no
At the end of the day, Dammon likes to pull Tav down to sit on his lap and talk about their days. He might stroke their hair or rub their back while he listens, just helping his love relax at the end of a long day
Dammon’s used to being a single bachelor and taking care of himself, but he discovers that he adores when Tav does little things to dote on him or pamper him
One night he comes home with the usual soot stains on his skin and ache in his shoulders to find that Tav has drawn him a warm, pleasant-smelling bath. Ignoring any mild protests, Tav insists on helping him peel off his sweaty layers and sink in, then loosens his knot of hair to gently lather and wash his locks. The feel of Tav’s fingers and nails massaging his scalp is the most loving, tender thing. Dammon feels like he could fall asleep right right there in the water under their hands
He calls Tav all kinds of pet names: darling, love, dearest, gorgeous, sometimes angel if he's feeling especially whipped
Dammon is one to say "I love you' freely and often, but hearing Tav say it back never fails to make him sigh with happiness
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golvio · 4 months
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Some spoilers for Hades 2 early access regarding Chronos below the cut.
He did not look or sound at all like what I expected, but I now immediately understand why all of his adult children are Like That, as well as why they’d quickly drop their previous squabbles and band together to try to get rid of him when he tried to force himself back into their lives. I instantly recognized every single trick he tried to pull on Mel when he first met her to try to manipulate her or put her down to “put her in her place” from other people’s descriptions of their own shitty, appearance-obsessed control freak parents with untreated personality disorders. I think the more understated delivery really works for him, particularly with that underlying paternalistic edge of absolute certainty and treating his enemies like misbehaving children who need to be reminded who’s in charge, even if they’re grown-ass adults. I also feel absolutely terrible for Hades, given that dear ol’ dad is trying to reassert control over him by “taking away his toys” and trashing everything he’d worked so hard to build in order to force him back into his original position of childlike dependency. It’s been almost 20 years and he *really* hasn’t finished “renovations” and fixed up the throne room? He doesn’t give a shit about actually maintaining the realm, just punishing Hades for trying to emancipate himself and be an independent adult by asserting ownership over all of Hades’ stuff and forcing him to watch as Daddy Dearest destroys everything he loved. He pretends to be absolutely rational and objective, but he’s actually a pathetic, emotionally immature piece of shit who throws manipulative tantrums and breaks things to bully his own children into compliance, and I can’t believe Mel has to waste her life fighting this loser who’s got nothing better to do than bully his barely-adult granddaughter. Kudos to Supergiant for making one of the most skincrawling depictions of an abusive dad ever.
But, also, now it makes a bit more sense for Hecate to have raised Mel in isolation—it’s easier to blow off an abusive relative’s appeals to authority when they’re a complete stranger to you. However, it’s also interesting that her early meetings with Chronos are the first time polite, deferential Melinoë has just straight-up told an adult trying to pull rank to fuck off. But that might be because she’s got no memories of him or fondness for him, so there’s no sense of filial piety or family obligation that would otherwise make her blame or second-guess herself. She has a slightly harder time with her, uh, more assertive Olympian relatives who she has more of a personal connection to and are slightly more subtle and “nice” about trying to goad her in specific directions. However, I also think Mel meeting Artemis and Hermes first and them warning her in advance about how overbearing the rest of the family can be might’ve inoculated her somewhat, even if she’s more like her dad in that she lacks the more intuitive way with people Zagreus has and isn’t as certain how to use her own charisma as leverage.
Anyways, I hope Melinoë kicks her Peepaw’s ass, but, given the type of real-life personality he has, I’m not sure if that’s actually going to make him stop or change short of a White Diamond-level epiphany where he realizes what a piece of shit he’s been to his own children and willingly fucks off out of his grandkid’s life forever.
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hazelfoureyes · 5 months
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Sending in anon because I'm a coward... 😩
I'm a new reader, and I just have to say-- your "a doe in fall" series is just... AMAZING!!
I could go on, and on and on about how much I love it. But what gets me the most is always Alastor's dialogue, because as someone who is also on the aro/ace spectrum, I just get it so much. Especially the subtle hoping that reader can like... Read his mind about how he feels for her, and the weird sort of stockholm syndrome we sometimes develop with ourselves after being alone with only our own company for so long, and it really is, lol, like you just get so used to being alone for so long because you know the idea people have of you, you can't truly live up to, so you don't want to "disappoint" them that you actually aren't like they are, so you just sorta... Keep them occupied at arms length-- Therefore you're forced to adapt to your company being the only love you have for a long time. it's like an obligation.
And when or if the special somebody who understands you comes along, you realize... "Wow, I've been living like this for so long, is this what it feels like to be loved and appreciated, in spite of my oddities, or maybe even in favor of them? Strange..."
Emphasis on the "strange" part because, when you're so deeply entrenched in your own soul, sharing your space for another almost feels more like learning how to swim rather than an instant "click", sparks, fireworks and whatnot. The excitement of the magical "other" has been long since drowned and snuffed out of you.
So, when this somebody who is similar to you, or just simply understands, doesn't try to change you or ignore you, but instead envelopes you and adores you, the appreciation is deep and overflowing. But there's a part of you always pinching your heart, a sort of awareness of something that isn't the case, wondering "Is this a dream? what if it is and I'll wake up and this is not at all what I was thinking?".
Haha... ANYWAY, sorry for the slightly morose and LONG read 😂 But I always think of how similar I am to how you write alastor and it's scary in a way, but comforting (especially since he's my first and biggest fictional crush) except in this case my profession would actually be burlesque. Especially since I work in the exotic dance world. It's fascinating being aro/ace in the SW world, I could go on forever- But yeah, I absolutely love your writing!! Makes me feel less alone in this world. Annnd surprisingly I always feel so sensual after reading, I love love love it!! Reading before work always gets me in the mood to dance and pretend I'm Y/N, lol!!
Much blessings ❤️❤️
*cracks knuckles* listen here babycakes, I eat this shit UP. Exploring Human Ace Alastor is my BREAD AND BUTTER. I go into ESSAYS in the AO3 comments in this 😂
you really understand, which makes me so happy and is confirmation I’m conveying him the way I want to.
Now I’m gonna ramble and echo you basically 😂
I really think Alastor (atleast in this story) feels that excitement and strangeness of how open he can be around Autumn (since she doesn’t have a proper name cuz she’s reader 😂). He’s a fish out of water despite the fact he’s actually being his most authentic self. Like you said, it’s new to him just to be … Alastor. To be honest and upfront. His normal operating mode has been so restricted for so long he’s struggling with how to be himself. And then that fear—- well what if I’m too much? What if I ruin this, when I finally have something worth keeping? He’s never gotten this far and the fear of losing that comfort is terrifying but so is the actual comfort itself. It’s new and foreign.
A deep uneasiness that’s if he fully embraces this he’s gonna just fuck it up and it’ll be his fault this time. Not a misunderstanding or misalignment of needs but a confirmation he wasn’t good enough anyway.
“it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” he would say that’s bullshit
and because of the situations he’s been in before, he’s never gotten to actually explore physical intimacy in a “safe” environment. He was always going into interactions because he had to if he wanted to keep people around. It was a necessity, not something he actually sincerely wanted to participate. So he tried to keep them happy with other means of affection and intimacy to maintain some safe distance but eventually, always, things would fall apart. At a distance or up close.
that’s why that most recent part was called Learning. Alastor is trying new things to learn more about what he’s okay with or doesn’t care for even offering in the future. Autumn is learning (that night, tho she doesn’t understand it yet) that he’s still figuring out how to meet her halfway (even tho she’s not even asking for that) when he’s used to being forced to meet people where they are. And Detective Brady, of course, is learning he may have found motive for Tommy’s disappearance.
I’m really glad you’re enjoying his portrayal and that you’re resonating with parts of him! That makes my soul hum! 💖 your line of work mixed with your Aro/Ace-ness sounds like such an interesting conversation if we’re honest! That’s a small aspect I love about Autumn. She’s in this field that’s (wrongly) considered to be hyper sexual and full of air headed wanton whores, but she’s the first person to be like “oh! You aren't into this stuff. Let me adjust my expectations. I’ll ask for clear verbal consent, not initiate, and I’m totally okay with never fucking again if it’s for your love and company.”
I work in the SW industry in a sense (Personal Assistant) and one of my biggest pet peeves is all of the shit people project on SWers.
sorry for the essay I could talk about this for ETERNITY
omg and THANK YOU! 🥺💖💖💖💖
Referencing:
A Doe in Fall (Human Alastor x Burlesquer Fem Reader)
Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦
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creedslove · 1 year
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more joel and baby headcanons pleaseee, it ignited my baby fever 😭😭
No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
A/N: alright bestie, I can't resist Joel as a dad either because he's the best 🥺❤️
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Joel is a tough man and you thought you would never see him cry, until the day you gave birth to your beautiful baby daughter and the moment he held her in his arms for the first time he teared up 
In fact, he managed to wipe a tear that insisted on running down his cheek quickly, but you caught that moment and pretended you didn't so you wouldn't embarrass him 
But from the moment he held his baby daughter in his arms for the first time, he knew there was no turning back: his heart just overflew with love and that little princess had him wrapped around her tiny little finger 
Joel loves his daughter so much he doesn't even have enough words to describe, all the worries and fears he had about maybe being too old to be a dad again and the trauma he had from being abandoned with a newborn were gone in the blink of an eye 
Joel carries her all the time, yeah his back hurts but so what? he is not gonna let that stop him from holding her 
He is so proud of her and he talks about her ALL.THE.TIME to whoever is willing to listen to it 
He keeps pictures of his baby daughter in his wallet because he is old-fashioned™ but he also has his phone full of pics and videos of her smiling or doing something cute 
Whenever he is out, he buys his baby girl something, he just can't help himself, if he sees something cute he's already swiping his credit card because his daughter deserves everything in the world 
Joel is the toughest mf you've ever met, that man doesn't shy away from hard work or a bar fight, but he is terrified of clipping the baby's nails because they are just so tiny so he actually leaves that to you 
But any other baby duty, he's there for you: diaper change, feeding or bathing the baby, he will help you without you even needing to ask, he just knows he's the father and that's his obligation too 
Joel naps with the baby all the time, like his chest is pretty much her second bed because that baby sleeps peacefully all snuggled up against her daddy, she doesn't fuss or cry at all 
If she cries in the middle of the night, he's the first one to get up and check on her, unless Joel is extremely tired and barely wakes up through the cries 
He plays the guitar for the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When she's already a few months old and is able to sit on the couch, he takes his guitar and strums it gently in front of her, always humming some song 
And she loves it, smiling big and giggling and that absolutely kills Joel because he can't handle how much he loves that little thing 
He doesn't sleep and spends the whole day worried when she's a little sick and he's with you during doctor's appointments whenever he can 
Father's day is simply his favorite day of the year because Sarah usually comes home and he gets to spend the day with his two beautiful daughters and with the love of his life: you ❤️
____
A/N: I need to give this man a baby 😭🥺
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ladyluscinia · 11 months
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There are obviously some people not taking Edward's S2 arc very well. Or - more often - twisting it to fit into absolutely wild takes and then pretending they are taking it well while everyone else is wrong and problematic for beliefs like "S2 clearly establishes Edward was harming his entire crew in his depressive spiral and he's still in the process of making that right." One of them wrote this section from a post that I found absolutely fascinating (if also wildly off base) in the way it buys into Edward's clearly faulty POV without hesitation...
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...and I really want to talk about Knife Parade now.
Because I don't think that's what's going on here, obviously.
Edward has internalized some very fucked up shit in his piracy career, a lot of it probably going back to his time with Calico Jack (and others? Fang was with him for 20 years, and Izzy "all his fucking life"?) under Captain Hornigold, aka the man who killed Felix the cabin boy by feeding him a live crab. Edward didn't really emulate Hornigold until Kraken Era because he hated the man, but we can see from how he and Jack act in 1x08 that he still developed a very skewed understanding of violence and social bonding.
And, as unpleasant as it makes him, the Edward of the past was absolutely the kind of guy to "fuck with his crew like that for shits and giggles."
Like - hold the defensiveness because this is not a one-to-one comparison - Edward describing chasing Fang around screaming and terrified as just a fun game sounds like how someone's childhood bullies would describe tormenting them. Bullies often feel like they were just joking around or just playing a game, even when the other party was clearly not having a good time. The show even invokes this with Nigel and Stede in the first episode.
And the reason bullies typically feel this way is because the social environment that they are in treats their behavior as acceptable (or fails to treat it as unacceptable because adults/other children are consciously or subconsciously designating the bullied kids as fair targets).
Edward thought chasing after Fang with a knife and shouting "come here you little fucker" was okay because he grew into adulthood in a culture where that and way worse was normal. Maybe he even got the idea watching an adult do it to someone (for likely non-playful reasons). He was probably older and/or higher ranked than Fang, in a culture where rank entirely out-ranks obligations to give a shit about someone else's feelings.
Just think about how he describes being Captain:
"Oh fuck no. Apologizing? Nah. Didn't apologize for jack shit."
The idea Edward didn't want to hurt Fang is not even on the table, because he didn't pay enough mind to the people below him to register hurting them was even a thing his "fun" actions could do. He's entirely rewritten the events in his mind.
And, again, this is a funny joke and a very understandable mindset to develop that literally no one has ever pushed back on until this moment, so good for Edward thinking back and going "oh fuck I guess Knife Parade was less Yardies and more Torturing Felix" and then immediately acknowledging that Fang has justifiable basis for beef with him. That's pretty big of him. Growth.
But "didn't care about Fang being terrified to the point he legit forgot because peer-accepted behavior" is still not quite the same thing as "genuinely didn't realize Fang was terrified" lol
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libraford · 1 year
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We are having a rough 2023 and it's about to get rougher.
Our attempt to buy a home fell through, our attempt to move to a cheaper apartment fell through, my car needed over 1k$ in emergency repairs, stuff keeps breaking, and this month (july) our roommates are moving into their own house, which means my rent is doubled until my fiancée can find a job and/or we can get a roommate to replace them. I can make just barely enough to cover rent at my job, but it leaves very little room for food and utilities. I'm looking into subsistence programs.
Roommates were the owners of a lot of the furniture, kitchen gadgets, electronics, etc. We're getting a lot of furniture from relatives, garage sales, and buy nothing groups, but there's a handful of items that will be difficult to obtain or that are little things that add up.
Here's how you can help.
We have an Amazon wishlist, which is mostly kitchen things that we need, plus a few things that would be nice to have. We will be adding some things to the list as our roommates pack their stuff and we take inventory of our shared spaces.
I have written a lot of things. Here's a book about pretending to be a god in rural Appalachia for money, and its sequel about how many ways a wedding can go awry. Or are you nostalgic for pre-covid problems? The Glue Famine chronicles my journey through a retail trend that baffled everyone involved. Buying a book encourages authors to write more books and that is a threat!
I have two excellent cartomancy decks. The Sweeney Tarot is 10 years old and it's still a fan favorite. I just released a 10 year anniversary edition with better quality print and a nicer box.
There is also my new, experimental oracle: The Motif Deck. You can read more about this deck and what sets it apart from other decks here.
Here is my etsy, which is where you can get some cool iron on patches.
Here is my redbubble where you can get some cool stickers and other stuff, especially if you like moths or weird animals. Lots of queer things there, too! Redbubble stickers are strong enough to hold up as bumper stickers- I have noticed, if that sweetens the deal.
Here's where you can order prints of my erasure art paintings.
Also if you like some of my photos from @photo-critter some of the nature and animal ones are available for prints as well.
And if you just want to help out without getting anything in return, there is always sending a donation via Kofi.
There is absolutely no obligation to contribute, but if you've enjoyed my stories or seen something you like and needed an excuse to buy it, or if you just want to help, really we appreciate anything that comes our way.
Thank you, once again, to everyone that has offered to help. Even if its just the tiniest bit of a commission from a sticker- it helps.
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