#there is too much to know and he should have been weirdly obsessed with one of the species on board and their completely unique saliva

[baejax-the-great]

I definitely was the cliche kid with the marine biologist phase, but on god I am still in my xenobiologist phase it is the dream it is the dREAM I want it so bad

[animeyanderelover]

I already did this concept with Dazai in those Hc's so I will not add him in here again.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, clinginess, manipulation, blackmailing, bribing, paranoia, attempted murder in Nikolai's part, isolation, abduction, death of reader in their previous world

Tags: @shumidehiro @izanami78 @leveyani

Isekai'd into their world

Nakahara Cuuya

🟠Bullshit! That’s the initial reaction that Chuuya has when he finds out. There’s a limit to how much he is willing to believe even though throughout his life he has seen some things you’d have to witness with your own eyes to believe in them. It is true that there is nothing about your past he has been able to dig up as your life has seemingly started the moment you were discovered by an elderly couple on the streets. You’ve always claimed that you couldn’t remember anything before you where found and since there has been nothing the police was able to find out about your past, they gave up on the case as you were slowly assisted into society. Chuuya doesn’t believe your claims though that you suffer from amnesia. He might be hotheaded but he’s been working for the Port Mafia for years now, has even been made an Executive. The one skill you develop in this position is to get a fairly good read on the person in front of you, on their body language as well as on whether or not they speak the truth or not. So whilst he has no solid proof about whether you lie to him or not, there is this intuition that he has in his guts that there is something you are hiding.

🟠His overprotective and paranoid thoughts tend to spiral so his first assumption is that maybe there is someone after you and that you’re on the run. If that is the case you don’t have to worry. Chuuya can and will provide protection if someone is after your life. The longer you remain silent about your past, the more impatient he grows. Chuuya hasn’t always been honest to you either, especially regarding his position in the Port Mafia. But you needlessly fuel his anxiety as you don’t reveal anything, only feeding his paranoid thoughts as he wonders what you could hide that is so atrocious that you don’t even want your lover to know. Yet when you tell him the truth finally, sensing that he is close to snapping, he gets mad at you. Are you mocking him?! Don’t lie to him now! He doesn’t believe you. He doesn’t believe you until you see yourself forced to reveal everything you know about him. You know about Sheep, about Arahabaki, about the Port Mafia and about so much more. Only then does he believe you. The truth did not ease his worries though. No, instead Chuuya feels betrayed. Betrayed that you have known everything about him from the very beginning.

🟠He can’t hide. He can’t pretend anymore either. What’s the use? You know everything about him. With no facade to hide anything anymore Chuuya grows weirdly aggressive yet vulnerable. He doesn’t know how he should deal with this situation where he had no control over what he reveals about you and what not. It is fucking weird to know that in your world he doesn’t even exist and is instead a fictional character. What do you even think about him when he stands in front of you? Do you even see him as a real person? With really nothing to lose anymore Chuuya just abducts you then and there, unable to come up with another solution on how to handle this situation. Obviously he doesn’t tell anyone else about you though as he himself has to properly come to terms with the truth. As heavy as the feeling of betrayal sits though, there’s also desperation and paranoia. Desperation because he feels like he deserves to find out more about you as well since you already know far too much about him and paranoia now that he understands that you’ve died before in your world. You can’t be fine after all that happened, right? He’s going to help you.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

🍎Fyodor has always deemed you to be someone who stands out from the common crowd, for reasons he doesn’t understand either. Perhaps it is because your eyes perceive what others can’t see as he will never forget his first encounter with you. The glimpse of pure fear in your eyes as you gazed at him, seeing the demon disguised as a man. The way your body flinched away from his touch as he reached out to you, sensing the doom that would befall you the moment he’d feel your body. Only very few people have ever been able to realise him for the higher being that he is and it is the fact that a common sinner like you sees right through him upon first meeting him that makes you special. Fyodor tests his theory out only once by cornering you, giving you no chance to hide behind others as you are left alone with him. The sadist in him is relishing in the untarnished fear he sees in your eyes, purple orbs gazing at you as you slowly move away from him. He doesn’t follow you but he doesn’t have to. You poor thing now can’t run away from him anymore. You’ve dared to catch the devil’s interest and for that you will greatly suffer for Fyodor only knows how to take and destroy.

🍎It is when he figures out that you have no past that you only deepen his obsession. It’s intriguing. No past sins to judge you by, no trace of an existence stained in impurity before you appeared in this city. No matter how much research Fyodor does, he’s unable to figure you out. You’re a mystery to him, to a messenger of God. Oh, it is indeed a dangerous game you are playing. What could you be possibly hiding from him that is so forbidden that not even he can know? It’s like you’re trying to trigger him and it is this lack of control, the inability to cast divine judgment upon you as you are incomplete without a past to hold you accountable for that leads Fyodor to do something he normally never does. He rushes the process slightly, lures you faster into the spider’s web until you are trapped. The first thing he asks of you to confess is your past, the one thing he can’t find out about you. What are you? Are you a sinner or are you something more? No normal human should be able to deprive him of information he can always gather. The time for your confession has finally come, the day of your judgement has at last arrived. Now then you little mouse, confess.

🍎If only you would know how much you fuel his obsession the moment you are forced to reveal the truth to Fyodor. A sinner always pays with death to free them of their sins yet you have already died in your own world before you were brought to his own. You are free, or at least freer, of sins than anyone else on this planet. So before this world can ruin you once more he is going to isolate you, to shield you from the impurities of this world. After all it is the duty of an angel to bring salvation to those who are worthy. Now he also understands why you were so afraid the moment you saw him. What was the first time for him to ever meet you was after all only the first time for you officially meeting him as you had seen him multiple times before as nothing more than a fictional character in your own world. Maybe there is a scientific explanation of how it is possible for you to be transported into a world that was only fictional in your old reality but Fyodor pushes another agenda onto you. Have you ever considered it to be the will of a higher being? Have you ever considered it to be a second chance given to you? Don’t you worry too much. He will help you flourish in this world.

Jouno Saigiku

♦️​BadumBadumBadumBadum. The melody of your heart when Jouno finds you one day stranded in an alleyway is certainly a good indicator of the fear and the anxiety currently swirling around inside your mind. Be assured though, he is here to help the little wounded puppy he's found himself right now. You'll just have to tell him who you are and where you are from and he'll get you safely back. That is at least the plan, the only problem is that you refuse his help. Hmm, that is strange. You're acting a bit suspicious, you know? Your little heart is telling him that his appearance seems to have only increased whatever stress you've already felt before. Is there something you're trying to hide from him? Even though his eyes are not able to perceive you, you don't strike Jouno as someone who has done something wrong that would force him to take actions against you. Still, he interrogates you, at least until he has gotten his confirmation that you haven't done anything criminal nor plan to do so. Technically that should be enough yet your heartbeat still hasn't calmed down. He's the reason. You're afraid of him. A reaction that usually only the bad guys have when seeing him.

♦️​The Hunting Dogs are heroes even internationally, normally citizens like you rejoice when seeing him. There are still things he'd like to ask you but you actually seem to gather some courage, tell him shortly that he has no reason to keep you trapped any longer since he has gotten his comfirmation. He isn't exactly pleased with the tone you use but he lets you go, though he's still quite dissatisfied with what he has gotten. As if fate is smiling down upon him though he soon has the pleasure to meet you again. You're still as close-lipped as the first time he met you but since he has now figured out where you work he decides to make acquaintances with your co-workers who are far more talkative. He can sense you standing there in the corner, your heartbeat going crazy as they tell him that you've recently started working here and haven't told them much about your past either. So you really just keep it a secret from anyone. That only makes him more curious, you know? With his position it is relatively easy to gather intel on you though it is when he is served with little to nothing that he truly starts realising that you must carry quite the secret around.

♦️​That is the kickstart of his obsession as he wants to figure out what it is you are hiding. What is the dark secret you don't want anyone to know about? His only clue lies in you and so he torments you with his visits, constantly attempting to guess what it is you are hiding only to never figure it out. How could he have known that you died in your previous life only to be reincarnated into a world that was purely fictional in your old world? It is after the abduction that you are left with no choice but to spill out the truth and as much as he would like to ridicule you for such an otherwise blatant lie, your heart is not lying. You're actually speaking the truth. And Jouno doesn't know how to reply to that, just staring at you with a furrowed face as if considering what the best response or even best reaction is to the truth he has so desperately wanted to know for so long now. You think that you see a glimmer of unease appearing on his face before he suddenly bends down, his hands grasping your chin. Just how much do you know about him? Even though you are his beloved Saigiku has ever considered revealing too much to you yet perhaps you already know too much, leaving him strangely vulnerable.

Nikolai Gogol

🕊️​To Nikolai you have always been entertaining. He has the fondest memories of the both you meeting for the first time, a sentiment you most likely don't share with him. After all it was obvious from the very first encounter that all that you felt for him was dread even though his disguise should have been immaculate, able to fool anyone else. He hides his sinister and twisted character when he needs to do so yet you have seen right through him and it is this seemingly keen intuition of yours that has gotten him so invested in you. Nikolai has never meant for this interest of yours to stay nor to develop into a burning passion that threatens to rip him off the wings he so desperately hopes to obtain. The demon threatening to steal his soul is none other than you, his crooked feelings for you spinning and turning as Nikolai finds himself trapped between two clashing desires. One is to obtain his freedom by murdering you, another one is his desire to keep you and share his sad fate of isolation and oppression due to his own feelings with you. It is a constant inner fight and more than just once has he considered ending your puny life yet there is one factor that ultimately stops him.

🕊️​He plans to torment you, to ruin the life you have so carefully built for yourself and the freedom you have in it yet it is the little information he can gather that has him pausing. No family, no friends, no past. You are essentially like a ghost who appeared overnight. He has no past which he could use to chain you down, nothing personal he could hold against you and that knowledge that he can't properly oppress you unless he knows about it torments him and only infuriates him more as if you were indirectly mocking him. Fine, he'll cut the games short then. When you wake up the next time, it is in a little cage with a cheerful Nikolai asking you how you're doing and if you have slept well. That grin only widens and turns into somethin hideous when he sees your eyes overflowing with fear. Yes~ Let that fear corner you and tie you down. Share your suffering with his own. There is still something, you precious dove, that he really needs to know. Only then can he fully drag you down to the bottom of despair with him after all. You need to tell him a bit more about your past. Your family. Your friends. He needs them for his plans. Imagine his surprise when he sees the relief appearing on his face.

🕊️​That grin on his face disappears as he realises the truth, even if only for a short moment. It isn't the fact that you are from a different world, it isn't that you died in your previous world either that sobers him down for one or two seconds. It is the realisation that you will always be freer than he will be. There are no family, no friends, no pets he could use to play with and to break you with. There is no information he can obtain about you unless you tell him yet here you are, knowing already so much about him since he was a fictional character in your old world. Half of your wings he will never be able to clip off. For one frightening moment his hands suddenly wrap around your neck and start squeezing down with enough force to have you gasping and choking before all of a sudden he lets go, leaving you to cough for air. When he bends down he has put on that playful appearance once more, whispering to you that it's still too early for you to die. He must say, you managed to catch him off guard for a moment there but that's alright. If things are more difficult there are more entertaining after all. He will make sure to plug every single feather off of your wings until you're just as broken as him.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Yall don’t understand how obsessed I am with Danny messing with the Justice League. Like just pranking them mad wild. Or “haunting” them.

Maybe it starts as a mistake. Someone was getting close to him and he just vanished. Maybe he was walking around one of their cities cause he wanted to “see how a real hero does it” but tried to stay out of the way.

Hes following Superman and doesn’t realise hes been had. Superman keeps seeing this odd child on the edge of his vision. It’s only weird because of how quickly he is traveling. He should be followed like this. So he tests it out and flys off to somewhere far off, but secluded. Edge of some farm land would work. Trying to not give it away he doesn’t make a show of looking for the boy. He then spots him. His eyes slightly glowing as he stands in the edge of the woods. Clark focused on the boy and hears slight breaths but nothing else. Which he should have realised sooner was wrong.

He returned to the team to report this odd being following him. To also warn everyone else to be on look out just incase.

Weirdly enough it was the Flash who noticed him next. Even weirder was that he could never get close. Even with his speed which was alarming.

Cyborg started seeing the kid too. He tried using cameras to get a better look at him but nothing ever showed up. Always missing was the boy from the video. Sometimes the whole video would get distort.

Wonder Woman probably got the closest as she used a fight to get “thrown” in his direction. She got close enough to see worry about her. He seemed so concerned and like he was going to step in until he met her gaze. A whole new kind of fear crossed his features. Then he was gone.

Everyone of the main team (and even some not) reporting in of spotting the kid except for Batman. And he looked. He tried everything to see if he was being followed like the rest but nothing. He read their reports on their encounters and tried to emulate it but never saw the boy. Maybe it was all a big prank being pulled on him? He couldn’t rule it out. Still he kept up constant watch.

Then one night he was out and got into a fight. Distracted by looking for the kid he got messy. Or maybe the criminals got desperate but he didn’t notice the rocket launcher being targeted on him in time and it fired. Only then did he notice it. No time to fully get out of the way he braced for the worst. When all of a sudden a body slammed into him shoving him out of the way of the blast. They rolled onto the ground. Bruce quickly recovered and looked for his saviour. On the ground, blown slightly to his left by the explosion was a black haired teen in a white t-shirt. Before he could move the boy groaned and looked right at Bruce. The haunting blue eyes meeting his even with the mask in the way the boy knew just where to look. He was about to speak when the boys eyes went wide with fear and then nothing. The boy just vanished into this air. Bruce didn’t have much time to be stunned by this as the thugs before started to cheer, thinking they had finished off the Bat. So he went to make quick work of them before any could get away. Well now he knows hes being followed too

Danny just freaking out about Batman seeing his face. Turns out he never followed Batman unless fully invisible. All he wanted was to see how “real” heros did it. And it had been helping him with his fighting. To see how the pros are. He was always worried the “worlds greatest detective” would figure him out though so he stayed hidden. Also maybe hes a bit of a fan. I made Wonder Woman get the closest cause shes his fav probably.

[lamprophonia]

》 [ yandere!Jock. ] 《

masterlist.

yan!jock x gn!reader: introduction. 1273 words. reader referred to as 'you'. cw for general yandere behavior.

DO NOT USE OR REPOST MY WRITING ANYWHERE.

elijah steele is the best goddamn actor in your school.

the theatre kids could learn from him, honestly, because there is no way in hell anyone else could have convincingly pulled off what he did: pose as the nicest, most helpful and kind student in the entirety of the sorry shithole that is eastview high for four years straight.

to literally everyone, elijah is so sweet it's almost vomit inducing. the school's golden boy — smart, nice, strong. best player on the football team, co-captain of the swim team, and part of the basketball team for good measure, helpful, always cheery, and he got good grades.

even amongst his peers, he was always considered the most straight-edge one; still, he was pretty much universally liked. he was genuinely friends with everyone, never judging or turning anyone away.

what's not to love?

well, probably the fact that all of that is a lie, an ever on-going act. a carefully crafted persona, custom made to hide the fact elijah steele is a colossal prick.

it's honestly almost too easy for him. help teachers out here and there, talk to the right people, go to the right parties, and play on some teams, and boom, the entirety of eastview wrapped around your finger. he's made high school a game for himself, and he has been winning for four years straight.

elijah's obsession with you didn't kick in right away. he saw you and was... eh, rather neutral. he decided you were pretty enough, and homecoming or some other stupid dance he didn't actually care about was coming up, so he needed a date to look good. you were just a pawn, after all, no different from anyone else. an accessory — good-looking and non-threatening enough.

no, the obsession started when you rejected him.

worse than reject him: you saw through the finely crafted veil he's always putting on — through the smile that's as fake as it is charming, the tone of voice that's almost a bit too nice — you saw through it all, and didn't hesitate to let him know.

and oh.

it hurt.

with a few words and an unimpressed look, without even realizing it, you broke elijah's game. you weren't playing along. and hey, he might be a prick, but he's a prick with feelings. a lot of very conflicting feelings, as it turns out; he's dealt with rejection before, but never when it came to relationships.

he probably should have seen the hurt he felt when you rejected him as a sign of what was coming, that being the growing obsession he can practically feel developing. you made him feel something other than smug superiority and mild annoyance. it wasn't anything pleasant, sure, but it was new. the week after that little encounter of yours, you were literally the only thing he could think about.

at first, it was a mixed bag. elijah was confused, weirdly hurt — he discovered he didn't like feeling either of those much — and angry. mostly angry. that was the only emotion he was really familiar with of those three, so he thought he would be able to use it pretty easily. he does football after all, he'd just tackle whatever poor sods that were unfortunate enough to be going up against him in practice and get it all out of his system. easy, right?

it wasn't easy.

he nearly dislocated a guy's shoulder before realizing that his usual method for dealing with his feelings — channeling them into brute force — wasn't working, which only made him more confused, which in turn only made him angrier. so used to being in control, elijah didn't know what to do with himself for the first few days.

fortunately for him and the rest of the eastview football players, his anger, hurt, and confusion subsided after maybe a week and a half, giving way to another unfamiliar, but much more welcome emotion: fascination.

you still occupied his thoughts constantly, but he finally got a break from the all-consuming contempt he felt. instead, he regarded you with intrigue, a curiosity. it was then he decided he had to learn more; you were an obstacle, a challenge. another part of the game.

he just had to figure out how to beat you.

in some strange way, elijah was excited. this was going to be hard, sure, but his mind was already hard at work, and he was sure it would eventually be rewarding.

and hey, most importantly, this was new! his rage turned to pure goddamn delight at the idea of someone who finally isn't drooling all over him. it's so fun! like a specimen for him to study, aren't you, darling? finally, he has to work for someone's favour.

once elijah comes to this... decision? realization? he gets started pretty much immediately. he knows now that the overly sugarcoated golden boy persona isn't going to work for you. he's going to need a new strategy, and he's giddy to get to work on it.

with negative hesitation, he starts stalking you. honestly, he probably starts stalking you before he actually buckles down and starts trying to win you over; at some point in the bafflement that comes with you not immediately falling for him, he just starts to follow you around from a distance, almost absent-mindedly making notes on your schedule, your friends, class mates, teachers... he decides to double down after that, though, deciding that if he's serious about beating you, he's going to have to up his game.

that's when he starts actually following you home, taking note of your family and your behavior outside of school.

the second thing he starts doing is shadowing you outside of stalking. that meaning, he starts sitting with you at lunch, making friends with your friends, switches classes to have them with you, and joins your extracurriculars; and he does so with the most smug, shit-eating grin on his face.

he starts talking to you as if you were one of his friends, and even though you knew that elijah was probably less nice than he seemed at first glance, you didn't realize just how starkly different his real personality is from the persona he puts on.

elijah starts to treat you more genuinely, in a way. he talks shit about his friends to you, bitches freely about all his classes and coaches. it's a distinction that would feel sweet, if not for the cognitive dissonance that comes with watching him be all smiles with someone right after he told you he hates them.

because here's the thing — now that elijah knows you're not fooled by the overly sweet and helpful guy he pretends to be, that his polite golden boy act won't work on you like it does with everyone else; now, he can stop pretending.

it's freeing. hell, it's almost more fun that way.

he wants to win with all of his cards out on the table. every nice, kind he does to make you like him will be colored by that tension, that dissonance, that confusion.

of course, elijah would never admit it, but slowly, as he makes friends with you, his obsession with you turns romantic. his intrigue turns to sincere care and affection. he doesn't realize it until he sees someone flirting with you — or worse, you flirting with someone — and jealousy hits him like a fucking brick.

he's left to collect himself, once again feeling hurt, angry, and confused at his own thoughts. he didn't even like you. you were supposed to be just a game, a challenge, an obstacle.

what the fuck was happening?

[mrs-monaghan]

Hey Shaz,

sorry if this is phrased weirdly

Sometimes when anons come here bringing up the possibility of a petty jikook breakup or a breakdown of their relationship over certain things, you say "JK would never allow that to happen".

No idea if you've thought this much about it, but it's a heavy line that might say a lot about how much you believe JK regards having Jimin as his partner. Can you share what moments or traits about JK make you think he wouldn't let Jimin easily walk away?

I could definitely see a Jimin version of this too seeing how much those two adore each other lol

Hello my lovely. It always boils down to satellite Jeon for me. It always will

Did you see that?

RM got in the way and it wasn't even on purpose this time. JK just wasn't quick enough. This moment reminds me of the one I always bring up from this post. Him trying and failing. I feel bad when he fails. Especially when Jimin doesn't notice 😔

Okay so, Jimin loves JK, don't get me wrong. He loves him very, very, very much and is proud to have Jeon Jungkook as a boyfriend. That has been made very clear over the years. So me saying what I'm about to say on this post, does not mean that Jimin loves JK less or doesn't love JK as much as JK loves him. No, that's not it at all and I beg you to not think that that's what I'm saying, at all. Jimin is just as dedicated and committed to the rlship. They both are.

But, it is of my personal opinion that if they broke up it would destroy JK. Jimin would be heartbroken and devastated too but it would hit JK harder.

Now, idk if this spectrum thing is true, but we have seen evidence that points to the fact that Jimin is JK's rock. 1300% When I use the words safe space here, I am not using them lightly. I take satellite Jeon very, very seriously. That my dear is a need not a want.

Now forget about Jimin touching on JK's neck for... sexual reasons

That definitely made JK's dick twitch. For sure. It's the finger placement and how deep he's pressing. It's JK's face. There is nothing innocent about that touch 👆🏽 which explains why it affected JK the way it did. Mans was super confused. Stood up for nothing before sitting back down. But I digress.

If we could all turn to page 13 of our Jikook books we will find this moment here.

An anon brought this up recently but I can't find that ask. Anyhu, the director wanted JK to relax and of course Jimin knew how to get him there. Which, what?

The thing about watching Jikook moments over and over and over is that they start to become just sweet or adorable or cute... they become normal. But, my dear anon there is nothing normal about Jimin knowing exactly where to massage in order to relax JK. There is something about Jimin when it comes to JK's neck because he always finds a reason to touch that neck. There is more than enough compilations of this.

Suffice to say, JK's neck is hella sensitive and his man knows this. As he should. But my main point remains that Jimin knew exactly what to do to relax JK. And that's just a scratch of the surface when we think about just how much Jimin knows about JK.

The post i linked above for the satellite Jeon moment is about what happened with JK when Jimin was busy during FACE era. How it was clearly affecting JK. Maybe even physically. Jimin's absence was affecting him.

Y'all just stop for a second and think about that. Jimin's absence was affecting JK. That's... thats big. That's fucking huge.

Anyone else ever wonder if BTS almost disbanding in 2018 had anything at all to do with Jikook? Like I know they have all talked about how they were overworking and it got to be too much. The fame got to be too much. But was there other factors that couldn't be brought up? Y'all ever wonder about that?

I am reminded of this post by a friend of mine and I'm inclined to agree with her. That maybe, just maybe JK was naive enough to think now that he was essentially an adult they could be more open. But instead they were pushed further into the closest. What's that thing he said that he also started singing about? About how he can finally take off his uniform?

While it sounds like a sexual innuendo, idk. There is something about that whole "FINALLY!"

Look at his face 😂😂😂 its either JK hated school and was glad to have been done with it or it was about Jikook. Or both. As we all know there is alot of questionable things that take place on this day. But either way I agree with my friend up there that JK thought things were going to change after graduation but instead they didn't. Thus why he started being loud in 2018 onwards.

Back to the disbanding, I've always wondered if BTS thought hiding Jikook wasn't sustainable. Its alot of work keeping such a secret. I mean, look at the amount of slip ups. From all of them. And so I often wonder if this affected the Jikook rlship in any way. If over the years their rlship has ever put their group in a difficult position. A position where they thought about halting the breaks on their rlship. And I can see something like this coming from Jimin. Self sacrificing Jimin who puts other people's happiness before his own. And I wonder if this could have affected JK... badly. I'm not saying it happened. It's just something I can see happen. Aint no way the Jikook rlship hasn't caused trouble for all of them at one point or another.

I digressed. But y'all should be used to it by now 😂😂

In 2019 it was rumoured that it was Jimin's idea for them to spend their holidays separately. I already talked about it here how this affected JK. He went along with it, of course. I mean, its what Jimin wanted so of course JK went along with it. But to me it seems like JK would have been just fine being with Jimin over the holidays even though they were always together at work.

I've mentioned before how fascinating it is that they lived together and yet when they got to work JK was fighting to stand next to Jimin or was cheating so they could be on the same team. Like damn. You left the same house and are gonna take the same car to go and sleep in the same bed how do you still want to spend all your time with Jimin at work too????? No wonder Jimin wanted them to have a break from eo that holiday. It's not healthy. U need space.

You see what I mean, anon?

RM and Jin are two members we've seen complain that JK won't come out with them. (Jin in BV4 and RM in a recent live) I'm sure Suga would too but... I don't think they're that close 😂😂 (y'all know how I feel about Yoonkook. Don't start with me) As for V I'm pretty sure they're hanging out is a recent development. And I'm almost positive it's Jimin's doing. Then there's Jhope. Yes, 3J are close. But Jhope is Jimin's bestfriend. So he's gonna be around. But without Jimin, I feel like JK wouldn't bother.

Like, to me, in my opinion, it seems like when it comes to JK, Jimin is enough. He don't need other people. And I can see Jimin pushing him to make other friends, hang out with other people, etc. Wasn't the 97 liners first public appearance in 2019? Which is when Jimin suggested they do their own thing? I know they knew eo way before that. But JK must not have been spending time with them for Jimin to suggest they do their own thing.

See what I mean?

And let's not forget about JK coming live when Jimin leaves the country. When bae is gone, thats when the man remembers we exist 🤭🤭 but hey, I'm not mad at it.

Like I said my dear, it all comes down to satellite Jeon. I'm not saying JK can't live without Jimin but I think that's what he believes. That's why he's so protective and territorial coz he can't afford to lose Jimin.

I've brought up how all members have been caught thirsting over other men and women including Jimin but there is no footage out there that exists of JK checking out another person. I mean, he has eyes, he sees other attractive guys but Jimin seems to be the only one that does it for him. Not that I blame him, of course.

@yuelight98 I have said alot of words but I hope I have answered your question; Jikook are interdependent....there's no question about it. But, JK more than Jimin....

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I know there are Jikookers who don't like Satellite Jeon. Usually they're the JK biased Jkkrs. And I get it. They think JK needs Jimin too much and wish he was more independent. But I think he is. To some extent. Or at least he's gotten better. And no, I dont think it makes him look weak at all. If anything we should be happy he is attached to the right person. A person who has the kindest soul and would never do anything to hurt him. A person who loves him back and takes great care of him. Maybe you wish JK didn't need Jimin so much. But I believe he's in good hands. Jimin fucking loves that man

Has adored him since the beginning

And he would do anything for him.

Trust.

[tinytennisskirt]

underrated tinytennisskirt fics you absolutely should read (if you haven't already) and why

The Card and The Heart

i know why this one flopped and maybe- one, it has to do with being the first fic I ever posted on here, and two, it's not 'x reader' it's written with pronouns like 'i' and 'my. it's self-insert, you have to imagine. i really like this one, it's long, it has a lot of backstory. It's Zweig Twin! Reader, so Patrick's twin sister who has liked Art since she was young. it has emotion, it's fun, there's a good storyline, and there's SMUT. yum. as well as a little bit of a full circle callback moment that makes you go 'oh my god'. i love it.

The Motions

this was a good fic but if you're not into the idea of having a child, then maybe I get why it wouldn't appeal. it's very domestic, very based in love and security and has some tasteful, meaningful smut scenes. scenes PLURAL. the fic is x reader w/Art and goes through early marriage, honeymoon, and pregnancy. he's a loving, supportive young husband and it's very cute. i think it's very cute. it goes through all of the motions and overall it is a very sweet, lovely little fic.

Fresh Laundry and Other Things

this one was sooo simple. slightly meetcute. instant chemistry and very sweet right off the bat. college era art and his time at the laundromat and a tennis playing reader who likes all the same things as him. he's smitten!!! sharing earbuds, are you kidding like that's so... i'm so genius for it. sharing WIRED earbuds. nervous flustered art my favourite baby.

Hall Pass

this Patrick Zweig fic is a little odd because it's x Art's GF! Reader. Pat is down bad for a girl Art snagged first but it's a party and they're drinking and reader cashes in her 'hall pass' with Art for some time with Patrick, who has been thinking about and waiting for this kind of thing for far too long. SMUT. smut. it's so good. it's diiiirty ;) it's like ethical cheating. she's got Art's permission.

Those Three Words <3

saying this is my third fave Patrick fic i've written is a little weird. it definitely comes after Sweetheart and Sweet Tooth, (ignoring how they are both sweet tf). It's based around Patrick Zweig who has BEEN a player for some time, fucking girls after going to clubs and bars and not ever committing. and ofc, along comes reader and for once things get taken slowly. he's got real feelings. and he is in it BAD for reader, wants her soooo bad and doesn't know what to do with that since he's so new to the real feelings thing. what i LOVE about this one is i love to write casual displays of affection and this has tons of that. it has a very real first kiss and a twist of angst when his three words aren't reciprocated. i'm very much obsessed with this fic. Player! Patrick to Loverboy! Patrick pipeline is sooo addictive to write. Please read this one if you haven't. Read again if you have.

last but not least, Vampire Art! Headcanons with a Plot

this baby is sooo niche and so silly. i loved writing it. it has vampy little art with feelings and sharp teeth he's so cute, he's so pretty n he wants you!!! i'm kind of weirdly obsessed with vampire boyfriend art donaldson like he lives in my brain. he looks a lil tired and he's pale, but he's still playing tennis. it's got all those little headcanons of being with him, but at the same time it's got the progression of time and feelings and some smut for sureeee, but not before him denying it to you over and over and over in fear that he'll hurt you. but that's all the fun!

mwah mwah mwah thank you all for being here <333

[certifiedwhore4slashers]

Secrets

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: your boyfriend has been gone a lot lately. and you know he’s keeping secrets from you, you just don’t know what, until it’s too late.

warnings: toxicity, obsession, yandere, manipulation, implied murder, stalking, , kidnapping, psychotic behavior, ethan being delusional, drugging, possessiveness, toxic relationship, naïve!reader etc…

one of my darker fics, hope you enjoy!

You probably should go to bed as it was Midnight and you stayed awake in your bed, staring at the ceiling. But you just couldn’t. You were thinking of your boyfriend. You missed him so much. Mostly because you really didn't spend much time together lately.

He had usually been busy, you didn't feel insecure, you definifely trusted him, but you knew he was hiding something. Something malicious.

You toss and turn, struggling to sleep. then your phone beeps. Someone messaged you. Probobly your friends about Ghostface, who returned.

You probably should've stayed with your friends tonight. However, Living on your own was easy. But you hoped you would eventually become serious enough with Ethan that you'd move in together.

You sigh, getting up and going in your kitchen, making yourself hot cocoa, sipping your drink when you stand by your counter. "So good, You moaned, getting marshmallow on your face.

Hopefully drinking this would make you more tired. Or, forget about your boyfriend for now so you could sleep. Even if in your mind You doubted if he really loved you. Okay, you really were insecure. But not if he was cheating on you, just whether or not he really loved you.

You finish your drink. Your place was dark with no lights on. Weirdly, this comforted you more than terrifying you. "Fuck it, I need sleep, You cuss, going in your room. You had University tomorrow.

Luckily, No exams for some time. But still. Sleep would benefit you. So you hop right back in bed, closing your door. Because you were sure someone was stalking you. You check your messages. You should've responded earlier since they were from Ethan.

I'm sorry for not spending much time with you, Y/n, Studies have been bothering me. I promise I'll make it up to you.

Hey, No worries, I completely understand. I love you.

You quickly turn your phone off for some sleep. Somehow, You do fall asleep. But wake up early anyway. 3 AM. You get up, before feeling like someone was in your apartment.

You hoped the person would be your friends or Ethan. "Um, is someone here? You murmur. You tried hiding your fear well. Which you were until someone wraps their arms around your waist. You yelp.

"Relax, Y/N, A familiar voice said. You sigh of relief. "Ethan." "Mhm, He replied."I feel bad for not spending some time with you." Something ringed in your mind. You never told him where you lived.

"Hold on... You said, stepping back from him." I didn't ever share my address." "Chad told me, Ethan chuckled nervously. You believed him. "Fucking Chad."

It sounded weird you never told your own boyfriend where you lived, but you knew Chad longer. Plus, You planned on telling him where you lived when you became more serious, in case you planned on hanging out anywhere but his place.

"Yeah, He said. You didn't see how he looked. You didn't know how sinister he really was. You hug him."I seriously missed you. But I assumed you were busy."

"I finished my homework and other things, He explained. You nod." Okay, well, I'll turn the lights on." "It's okay, I'm leaving anyway, Ethan replies.

You nod. "Well, I love you." "I love you too, Ethan responded, quickly kissing you before leaving. You had no clue on what would eventually happen.

When you were up and ready, You left your apartment, meeting up with your friends before school. "hey, what happened? You ask, seeing sadness on everyone's faces.

"Anika died, Mindy frowned."I believe your boyfriend killed her." "For the last time, I was at Econ! Ethan defended himself. You looked confused, but said nothing. Perhaps he was there before he came to see you.

“Mhm, Mindy said, not believing him at all. “I believe you, You assure your boyfriend though deep down you didn’t believe him either. Not entirely anyways. But you felt bad.

You should trust your boyfriend, he’d never lie or keep secrets from you. He smiles. "Thanks, Y/n." You nodded, placing your hand over his.

Your warm gesture made him feel better. Mostly you, knowing he would never hide anything from you. You stayed with your friends so you could comfort them. Especially since Mindy lost her girlfriend.

"I'm so sorry, Mindy, You say, hugging her. "She shouldfve lived, Mindy frowned. "No offense, Y/N, but Ethan is suspicious." "I understand, You softly smile.

Mindy shyly smiles. You were beginning to suspect your own boyfriend too. You felt awful for accusing Ethan, but circumstances proved otherwise.

"You should sleep over here tonight, Tara suggests. You nodded. You received a message from Ethan, you asked him where he had gone. Mindy looked over your shoulder, "You're really believing his lies?"

"Huh? What do you mean? You say. Mindy rolled her eyes. "He is obviously Ghostface. Obviously manipulating you." "Mindy, We don't know for sure, Chad defended Ethan.

You frown, rethinking everything. Was he really manipulating you? Mindy was clever enough, so you did believe her words. "I... she could be right, You blurted. Everyone looked at you in shock.

"Y/n! Tara said. "You seriously believe Mindy?" "Yeah, because I'm not wrong, Mindy said, grief consuming her. "Look, Evidence is there. think about it." Everyone stopped speaking, thinking things over, including you.

Guilt eating you up inside. But your logical side was telling you to run, convincing you Mindy was right. You couldn't convince yourself your own boyfriend is innocent. any evidence Mindy had was pure circumstantial.

Still, You loved Ethan. You couldn't believe he would ever kill anybody. He was so sweet. Even if he recently had been distant, which didn't mean he was guilty by any means.

But he did make you suspicious. You noticed how he was still gone. What was Ethan doing? You spammed messages, which sounded clingy, but you were worried, plus suspicious.

Finally, He messaged you. He didn't seem bothered by your spam, in fact, maybe happy you spammed him. He was on his way from wherever. Still didn't specify.

“I got here as soon as I could! Ethan exclaimed. Mindy eyed him suspiciously since he was her number one suspect.

“Don’t do shit, Mindy, Chad warned. “I’m so sorry, I just had so much to do, Ethan said, wrapping his arms around your waist affectionately.

“Ah yes, under purely coincidental circumstances you finally show up, Mindy said sarcastically. Ethan frowned.”I swear. I’ve just been focusing on actually passing in College.”

“I believe you, You assure him. "And you should too, Mindy. speaking of which, can I speak to you in private?” Mindy nods. You escape your boyfriend’s grip as he gives you an understanding look.

You pull her aside.”I… believe you, Mindy.” “Shit, really? She said.”I told you he’s suspicious. I wouldn’t be completely off guard around him.”

“I know, it’s just he’s keeping many secrets lately and I think being the killer is one of them, you whisper. You felt relieved you could confide in someone who shared your suspicions.

Mindy sighed."And you just ignored the red flags?" "Um, I guess so, You reply. She frowned. "You must really love him." You nodded, kind of embarrassed for being so dumb.

"I understand but you should distance yourself for now, Mindy suggests. You nodded. In case he was a killer, who planned on killing you.

You did feel remorse when he looked pretty sad but you knew, you couldn't be around him. For your safety. You had never been scared of him before, but everything had been odd. If he didn't keep secrets from you, You wouldn't be suspicious.

"Y/n, Could I please talk to you? Ethan asked, knowing Mindy was no longer by your side. "Fine, You reply, more sympathy in your voice than you hoped.

"Look, You seem so suspicious and paranoid, He begins. "and I'm sorry I've been distant. I promise, I'm not keeping anything from you. I love you, why would I purposefully hurt you?"

You rethink everything. If you weren't so naïve and blinded by your love for him, You would've refused to believe him. But you couldn't hold back much. You hug him. "I believe you. I'm sorry... for being suspicious."

He smiles."I forgive you." You would quickly regret believing him later on. You did sleep over but in the morning, You were comfortable enough you could go home.

You shouldn't have walked by yourself, but you did. However, You could feel yourself being followed. Someone was definitely stalking you.

"Maybe I'm just paranoid, You murmur nervously. But the loud footsteps behind you proved your worries. But when they grew closer, You sped walked, not running when you didn't know for sure. You were so close.

Suddenly, You stopped. You could keep on walking, or take the short cut through the alley where your place was. However, You couldn't even choose because something hit your neck, like a needle, and you blacked out.

When You woke up, You tried moving but your wrists were bound. You squirmed. "Keep trying, You won't move, Someone spoke. You quickly were filled with dread when you recognized the voice.

"No, You whimper, before he comes into view. Your own boyfriend, Ethan kidnapped you. In one hand, held his knife, his other hand holding his mask.

"You were Ghostface, You said, looking down. His knife had blood on it. Which could only mean he murdered more people. His wide grin said everything you needed to know. He enjoyed killing people. "For us, Y/N, He replies.

You quickly remembered when he broke into your apartment. You believed him, but now you realized he didn't want you to see him in the Ghostface Costume. He had been following you, hence why he knew where you lived.

"For us? You repeat. He nods, caressing your face."I did this all for us, for you." You wished he was being truthful. But you could see right through his manipulative ways. Well, You tried to.

"You're all mine, I'll kill anyone who touches you."

[kairiscorner]

HELLOOOO I JUS STARTED READING YOUR WORKS AND i have been OBSESSED !!!!!

COULD I REQ a e1610!miles x fem!reader, where it’s a bit of a she fell first he fell harder sitch? reader and miles are pretty close friends and reader has been crushing on them for as long as she remembers 😅 miles DOES have feelings but he brushes them off as “just friends feelings”. they could have a bit of an argument cozzzzzz reader was getting mixed signals from miles 😢😢 but then once he does realize his actual feelings, he plans a little something to ask reader if he can court her? (filo!reader twist ? 🧐)

THANK YEW SM !! 🤞⭐️💘

HIII THANK YOU !! OMG WAIT I LOVE THIS?????? my second favorite trope after the "he fell first" one >:)) OK I HOPE THIS IS ANY GOOD !!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

we're truly, utterly, pretty much just friends

summary: you have loved miles for the longest time, and guess what? he likes you a lot, too. he wasn't sure at first, though. he joked about it a lot, until you had enough, now he has to come clean and admit everything to you.

word count: 1,200

oh the pain of being in love with your best friend, it's excruciating. nothing is more suffocating than being in close proximity with the boy who has your whole heart wrapped around his finger with him being none the wiser. you two have known each other practically all your lives, and for most of it... you've spent it admiring him, finding all kinds of reasons to keep falling for and loving him in ways you never thought were possible. when high school came around, you wondered if it would be worth it to tell him your feelings; surely, you wouldn't be affected if he didn't like you... right?

oh, who were you kidding? it'd hurt like falling from the sky and landing in an active volcano's magma chamber. like hell you were ever admitting your feelings to him, you wanted to keep the status quo. why would anything that wasn't broken need fixing, right? you kept up the act of being his 'closest friend' that truly loved him, in all ways, but at a distance. you felt a suffocating catharsis with him, a contradiction that haunted you whenever you felt your heart flutter when you two were together, and you feared that so badly.

you wanted to stop feeling this weirdly about him, especially when he told you he thought of you practically as family. it made you feel like you were betraying him for falling for him. well little did you know... he's betrayed you too, then, in that sense. miles has always found you amazing, just overall wonderful company and the best friend he could ever ask for. you always take care of him when he doesn't feel okay, you always listen when he has to blow off some steam, and your touch against his... it feels electrifying, it feels like home.

he does get confused sometimes why he feels a little hot in the face when you look at him for a beat too long, or why he has the urge to want to wrap his arm around your shoulders, lay his head on one of them, too, maybe... wait, why is he thinking this? he hadn't really thought of you like that before, or has he? when he pictures doing things like that with his other friends, they feel alright, but not exactly the right kind of alright he feels with you. "i just... i just care about them a lot. yeah, they're just, they just mean that much to me." he'd tell himself when he overthinks it sometimes.

but sometimes, those feelings of his take over, and sometimes, he'll do things that make your heart beat a whole lot quicker. he'd sometimes compliment you unironically for no reason, even if you didn't change anything about yourself. he'd joke about what a pretty couple you two would look like, though he'd tell it was a joke, he meant nothing by it and he'd say sorry if it put you off. 'he should be sorry for giving me hope every time,' you'd think to yourself in frustration.

you weren't exactly angry about him showing you so much affection--you were angry because he gave you hope, every time, that he'd like you back--only to be greeted with a punch in the stomach as he brushed them off as 'jokes'. you had the last straw when miles made yet another 'joke' about him falling for you. "it's just... you're quite a catch, okay? you're pretty, smart, strong too. now, i'm not saying i do like you, it's just--" "can you stop?" you asked with a stern voice as miles immediately stopped talking when you cut him off mid-sentence. your eyebrows were furrowed together angrily as you looked at his concerned expression. "what did i do?" he asked you, genuinely unsure of what he did to warrant your anger. "that. it's that obliviousness of yours. don't you get it? you're... you're giving me..." you decided not to finish that thought, in fear that you would give yourself away.

you cussed under your breath as miles bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying sorry, because he knew you hated it when 'sorry' is all one can say while you were chewing them out. miles gently put a hand on your shoulder, and with a hung head and an absolutely anxious mind... he went out with it. "...i like you. so much." he admitted, placing emphasis on every syllable, hoping it sank in to you that he likes you the way you have always liked him.

he darts his eyes from your feet to his as he shuffles them a little out of anxiety, and he sighs as he looks up at your flustered face, trying to sound confident, sure of himself, but he was everything but that--and it showed. "i didn't think i'd... actually be in love when i thought about you like that, those... those thoughts i shared with you. you know, the... the 'me dating you' ones, the 'oh, you're so darn pretty, smart, strong, and everything' ones... the... 'i kinda wanna ask you out ones'... yeah... i just realized recently it meant... i like you." he said as his voice quieted and softened, as a small smile cracked on his face as he felt it growing hotter and hotter the longer he spoke.

"if you'll let me, and this is not a joke this time... if you'll let me, can i... can i court you?" he asked you in the softest voice he could muster, so scared of what you'd say. he poured his whole heart out to you, hoping you understood, hoping you'd say yes... "morales, i am going to hit you." you threatened him lightly as you tried to take your shoe off, feeling your own face get flustered as he chuckled. "i'll take it, just... i want to earn your love, i wanna do it right." he said as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. "...is it bad you earned it long ago already?" you asked him, which caused his eyes to widen as he pulled back a little.

"wait, so you mean to tell me that--" before he could even finish, you planted a kiss on his lips. it was brief, it was abrupt, but all the love you pent up for him over the years was put into that very kiss. you still looked angry at him, and rightfully so, for causing you so much excitement that he'd like you back only to just recently realize it. "you'll buy me lunch today, morales." you said as you took his hand and began to trudge forward with him following, smiling all the while and getting super excited for what this meant for the both of you. "i'd buy you lunch every day, walk you home, cuddle up with you if you wanted... i'd make every day about you, that's what i mean when i say i wanna court you, mahal." he said as he interlocked his hand in your own, which made you super flustered, but you wanted to keep it under wraps--gotta make him pay for giving you so much hope from back then, of course.

a/n: MY BOYYYYYY

tags !! @k4tsu3 @luvstarrstruck @toneystank-3000 @ii01vq @maxoloqy @solecitoszn @q2ie @zalayni

[beanghostprincess]

thots on dofuwani?

The only thot around here is Doffy, but you're so real. The universe wanted you to say it, don't worry. No apology needed because you're right.

Okay, so my actual thoughts:

I love it. Not my favorite ship for Crocodile but definitely my favorite ship for Doffy. I love the dynamic and I love their different aesthetics. It's not even a deep thing this time and I am not going to analyze shit, I just want them to fuck. They have so much exes energy but Doffy doesn't understand what breaking up means and keeps bothering Crocodile anyway. Actually, not even exes, they fucked once and Doffy became weirdly obsessed with Crocodile and he can't stand him. Doffy waits around like a dog for Crocodile to pet and maybe Crocodile ends up keeping him because he's kind of, sort of, maybe a bit fun. Actually, scratch the fucking part. They didn't even fuck. Doffy saw Crocodile and instantly decided "yes, I want that one" and he's been the most horrible and annoying person in the whole universe after he managed to fuck him. It's like what if a very fucked up Barbie became weirdly obsessed with a mafioso and the man just kept her around because dealing with her is easier than getting rid of her. Then it's when some love starts to happen. Not very deep stuff but they kind of care about each other. But it's in a very fucked up possessive toxic way and not romantic at all and they both should be sent to a fucking therapist right now. Or jail. Crocodile thinks he's the normal one but he's not. It's like he hates Doffy but can't live without him. He can't live with him either. It's complicated. Actually, he starts catching feelings. Maybe it's Stockholm Syndrome. It's definitely that. Maybe it is romantic if you go back to when they were young and there was kind of a spark between them until Doffy opened his mouth and spoke for the first time. And maybe the spark is still there, who knows. Maybe Crocodile really does love him in some universe. It really depends on how you write them? I'm a softie, honestly, so if somebody manages to make them actually be in love I am obsessed with it. And if they're just fucked up? That's great too.

[absolutebl]

Hiii, I'm glad the ask box is open!

Idk if you already did a rec list on this, but can you recommend me old bls, like 90/2000s? I watched Seven days movies and its really good

Oh yay! Seven Days is the best. Actually, I have never done this. Here's a list of...

10+ BL's rated 7/10 or higher that aired prior to 2018

Just Friends?

Korea 2009 Gaga

This is Korea's first (kinda) upbeat version of a BL featuring already established boyfriends, one of whom is on military leave, trying to decide on coming out, family life, and the future. All of these are themes Korea will pretty much never tackle again, retreating as they would to their bubble. But what a fun little offering this little show was and is to this day. You should watch it.

Love Sick & Love Sick 2

Thai 2014 YouTube

This is one of those BLs that owes almost nothing to yaoi, although it started a number of tropes that are now endemic to Thai BL. What it is, instead, is a well scripted story of bisexual self-discovery and the inherent chaos of loving someone of the same gender for the first time, all wrapped up in hormones, existing relationships, and communication issues. It is high school queer angst at its messiest. Nothing is going to be easy for these boys because queer isn’t easy but also because life isn’t easy… welcome to adulthood sweethearts.

I'm actually considering a rewatch of these beginning of 2024 in honor of the 10 year anniversary if anyone wants to join.

Seven Days

Japan 2015 grey

The asker already mentioned it but still, never doubt my ability to recommend this show. One of the best live action yaois ever made, with perfectly structured angst, fantastic characters and acting, and no problematic tropes (rare in Japanese BL). The leads have excellent chemistry although it’s low heat there’s still some really cute mutual kisses.

Addicted: Heroin

China 2016 Viki

When Chinese BL was good it was very dirty good and when it was bad it was censored. This is the model for that statement: rich kid falls madly for the genius poor kid in his class, starts an aggressive pursuit, includes kidnapping for love, obsession, stepbrother trope, plus some cheating. I love this BL because of what I could have been. Just stop watching it after The Sex Scene. Okay?

SOTUS & SOTUS S & SOTUS Our Skyy

Thai 2016 YouTube

This is the BL that launched a hundred BLs. No literally, it was SOTUS’s international success that pretty much built the Thai BL industry into the juggernaut it is today. People have baggage around SOTUS, I have nostalgia. Trigger warning on bully hazing. Review and discussion here.

Make it Right 1 & 2 (but not Beach)

Thai 2016 YouTube (Cheewin warning)

What to say about this show, the origin of the Thai BL pulps? It’s objectively terrible, and not just the leads but the side couple too - yet I love it. I tend to call myself the “world’s foremost Make It Right apologist.” I recognize the issues but I find it utterly charming, especially Tee’s utter devotion to Fuse the baby bi disaster.

Long Time No See

Korea 2017 Gaga

Catfishing assassins on either side of a turf war who fall in love not knowing they are on opposite sides. Or do they? Good fight sequences, mature characters, high heat, very suspenseful, AND an HEA. If you like KinnPorsche or Kiseki you will LOVE this one.

HIStory Obsessed

Taiwan 2017 Viki

I weirdly love this but you should know what you are in for: that title. It has a stalking theme meets fated mates and quite a bit of dubious consent. Uke obsessed with seme to the point of losing himself and his identity dies after being rejected, and then has a chance to reboot his life. He decides to save himself by never falling in love. But destiny is a bitch, and this time the seme becomes obsessed with him. This one owes a lot to dark Chinese and Japanese BL, but kind of corrects for the expected sad dead finale by ending happily and playing with a ton of BL tropes. The leads have good chemistry, it's higher heat and the first time Taiwan starts to push that, and VERY DRAMATIC.

Some Others you might consider

Candy and Kiss - Japan 2015

Silhouette of Your Voice (Hidamari ga Kikoeru) - Japan 2017

Red Balloon - Taiwan 2017

(source)

[sonekwi]

☆ ⸻ the white paladin, keith x reader

chapter two: the blue lion

characters/pairings: keith, female reader

genre: fanfiction

summary: after saving shiro from the garrison, the universe pieces everything together. you and your friends stumble across the very thing he returned to earth to find: the blue lion.

word count: 3,145

links: previous, next, wattpad, masterlist

     Keith had brought you all to a small cabin in what seems to be the middle of nowhere. And while waiting for Shiro to wake up, the group lazed about. Hunk and Pidge sat on the floor, going over notes and theories. You and Lance lounged on the couch, your head in his lap while you took a nap. And Keith was pretty much glued to Shiro the entire time, watching and waiting.

     But now, Shiro is awake and taking some time outside to recollect his thoughts. You can only imagine how scrambled he must be after being in the hands of aliens for so long, and the trauma he endured.

     Keith paces back and forth. From where you lay on the couch, your gaze follows him. He chews on his cuticles impatiently and stares down at the dusty old floor. Shiro said he wanted to be alone, but Keith is too protective of his family to listen to him for long.

     Just as you open your mouth to say something, Keith huffs and walks out of the cabin. But it's not long before he comes back with Shiro.

     You sit up and stretch your arms above your head, smacking Lance in the face. He jolts awake and glares at you. You give him a wry smile and say, "Sorry."

     Keith walks over to one of the cabin walls and rips a tarp down, revealing pictures, maps, and articles. Messy red arrows and circles are marked all over to connect evidence and facts. However, one particular spot on a map was circled heavily, the ink bleeding through the paper.

     "What have you been working on..?" Shiro asks slowly.

     "It's kind of... hard to explain," Keith says, looking at everyone. He turns back to the wall, pointing to the spot on the map, "After leaving the Garrison, I felt... lost. But then I was drawn to this place. It was like something, some energy, was telling me to search."

     "For what?" Shiro asks.

     "I'm not sure," Keith says, "But when I did search, I came across a cave system with all of these ancient drawings. Each one depicts a slightly different story about a blue lion, and some... arrival happening," he explains as he points to the photos on the walls. He then turns to Shiro, "And then you showed up."

     Shiro hums, an impressed smile spreading on his face. He turns to where you, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge are clumped together across the room.

     "I should thank you all for getting me out of there," he says. He reaches his robotic hand out to your brother. Your brother, awestruck, grins and excitedly shakes his hand. "You're Lance, right?" he asks. Your brother nods.

     Shiro turns to you, "And you're (y/n)?"

     "Yes!" you smile, shaking his hand.

     "I'm Pidge and this is Hunk," the short ginger says, pointing to his friend who nervously pulls his fingers. "Do you know if the rest of your crew made it?" Pidge asks.

     You look at Pidge. He's weirdly obsessed with Shiro's crew and the whole Kerberos mission. Thinking back, you remember his outburst with Commander Iverson after the simulation.

     "I don't know," Shiro says after taking a moment to dig through his memories. "My brain is still pretty scrambled. But one thing sticks out... I kept hearing the word Voltron over and over. It's some kind of weapon."

     "That's what Pidge was hearing on his space radio," you say and Pidge nods.

     "Maybe those were the aliens that captured Shiro?" Lance suggests.

     "Well, we need to find this Voltron before the aliens do," Shiro says.

     "Okay," Lance raises a brow, "How are we going to do that? We don't even know what Voltron looks like."

     "We have Pidge's artist's rendition?" you say.

     "It could look totally different though," Pidge says with a shrug.

     "Fear not," Hunk interjects and pulls something out of Pidge's bag. "I was looking through Pidge's stuff and–"

     "What!?" Pidge shrieks and snatches his bag from Hunk's hands. "Why were you going through my stuff!?"

     Hunk smiles sheepishly, "Looking for a snack," he says, "But I was looking through his diary–"

     "Seriously!?"

     "–and found a repeating series of numbers that looked like a Fraunhofer line," Hunk quickly finishes speaking before Pidge can interrupt him again.

     "A frown-what?" Keith asked with a puzzled look.

     "It's a number describing the emission spectrum of an element, only this element isn't on Earth," Hunk elaborates. "I was thinking this could be Voltron. I could build something to track it, like a Voltron Geiger counter."

     Lance flashes a smile. "Hunk, you big gassy genius!"

     "It's pretty great," Hunk says and pulls a piece of paper from his pocket. He holds it up, and you observe the graph drawn onto it. "The wavelength looks like this."

     "Give me that," Keith snatches the paper from Hunk's hands and examines it closely. He then turns to one of the pictures on the wall, something connecting in his brain. He holds the paper next to it, the spikes of the graph looking uncannily similar to those of the stone pillars and rock outcroppings in the photo.

     The group shares a look, concluding that's where you need to go.

⁀➷

     "Okay, this is freaky," you say, standing before the stone structures. The blazing sun beats down on you, but you have to admit the dry heat feels better than the humid heat back home.

     "I'm getting a reading," Hunk says as he pushes to the front of the group. The small device he holds in his hands beeps, slowly but prominently. You all follow him as he hikes into the desert, tracking down whatever element Voltron is made of.

     Coming upon a cave entrance, the Geiger counter freaks out. Hunk hums curiously and shoves the device into his pocket. Even from where you stand outside, you can strongly feel the eerie thrumming of energy emanating from within the cave.

     "In here," Hunk gestures to the rest of you as he enters the cave.

     Inside, you inhale deeply. The stuffy, damp air within makes it uncomfortable to breathe. You take note of your surroundings, listening to the water drip from the stalactites. And as your eyes wander and adjust to the darkness, they land on the carvings.

     You walk up, placing a hand on the cold stone. Your fingers run along the grooves and ancient paint, outlining the figure of what Keith had described as a blue lion.

     "These are the carvings I was telling you guys about," Keith says, walking up beside you.

     "Those pictures do not do them justice," you say, smiling softly at the beauty of the ancient art.

     Keith glances at you, his eyes wandering over your face. When you turn to him, he looks away and clears his throat. "I am... sorry," he says, "For not reaching out. We just– you always said that we were going to be pilots together, and I didn't know how to face you after everything."

     "Keith..." you say softly. "I'm not mad, I never was."

     That was a lie. The first few weeks after he left, you were angry and hurt. You texted him, sent him videos and pictures of mundane life, and tried calling him. You did everything you could to talk to him again. You didn't understand how he could just leave you.

     Eventually, you got over your anger. The past few months were filled with loneliness and wishing you could see him again. Which, now that you think about it, feels more pathetic than screaming and punching your pillow.

     Nadia kept telling you he wasn't worth crying over. You didn't listen.

     "I know you're lying," Keith says, his grey eyes flicking up to yours. "I'm sorry I hurt you, (y/n)."

     You clench your jaw as an unwanted emotion bubbles up. Why are you still mad? You got to see him again and he even apologized!

     You open your mouth to say something when a strange, glowing blue light illuminates the entire cave. Your eyes immediately shoot towards Lance, who stumbles away from the cave wall.

     "Lance–" you say, interrupted again by the sound of cracking and rumbling. Below you, the ground begins to crumble away.

     You grab ahold of Keith as the ground caves in and you fall into a hidden sub-chamber of the cave. You scream, feeling the cold, wet air rush past you as you plummet further down. And after a few very horrifying seconds, you land on solid ground... in a shallow pool.

     You push yourself up, water dripping from your soaked clothes. Beside you, Keith groans and sits up. "Are you okay?" you ask.

     "Perfectly fine," Keith growls. He stands and holds his hand out to you. You take it, reluctantly, and he pulls you to your feet.

     "What the heck is that thing?" Hunk says.

     You follow his gaze and your eyes land upon the otherworldly machine before you. The Blue Lion. You gasp with awe, "How hasn't this been found? It's freaking huge!"

     "Do you think this is Voltron?" Pidge asks.

     "It must be," Shiro says.

     "This is what's been causing all this crazy energy out here," Keith says and steps closer. "Looks like there's a force field around it."

     Lance hums, "Does anyone else get the feeling this is staring at them?" he walks side to side, feeling uneasy as the machine's eyes glow brightly yellow. "Yeah... the eyes are totally following me."

     Keith places his hands against the force field, ripples moving through the material upon contact. "I wonder how we get through this..."

     You look up at the Blue Lion, then at the force field. "Maybe you just have to knock," you joke as you raise your hand, knocking twice.

     You yelp as the force field glows brighter, the Lion's eyes lighting up eagerly. As the force field drops, the ground beneath the Lion illuminates in a strange alchemic pattern. The Lion growls deeply, a strong wind suddenly blowing all around you.

     As you stare into the Lion's eyes, a vision flashes in your mind. Five Lions fly through space, the Blue Lion among them, and come together to form a robot. It bears a flaming sword, and as it swings it towards you, you are brought back to the real world.

     "Did anyone else just see that?" you ask.

     Hunk geeks out. "Voltron is a robot! A huge, huge awesome robot!"

     "And this is only one part of it!" Pidge exclaims, "I wonder where the rest of them are?"

     Shiro stares up at the Blue Lion, "This is what they're looking for..."

     Suddenly, the Lion begins to move. It rises from its metal haunches and lowers its head to the ground. You're awestruck, the mere size of the thing making you seem like a tiny ant. It slowly opens its mouth, allowing entry. A soft, playful purr rumbles through its chest.

     Your brother smiles and walks inside the Lion.

     "Wait!" you chase after him, "You don't know what's in there, you idiot!"

     When you catch up to him, he seats himself in what you guess to be a pilot's chair. You roll your eyes as your brother clearly has no survival instincts. But, knowing that he's alive, you take the chance to look around the cockpit as it powers up. Various diagnostic screens and holograms pop up, and the interior lighting matches the Lion's color.

     "Woah..." Lance says as the large screen spanning across the entire cockpit displays what's outside, providing a 180 degree view from left to right. "This is fancy."

     "No kidding! You don't have to worry about glass shards getting all over you!" you say, remembering the numerous times during flight training when the windshield had shattered.

     The rest of the group enters the cockpit, the small area becoming crowded very quickly. As Lance looks at the main dashboard quizzically, he goes quiet. Everything seems to be written in an alien language.

     He pauses and his body tenses and his eyes widen, almost as if he senses something the rest of you don't. He then turns to everyone, "Did you guys hear that?" he asks.

     "Hear what?" you say, raising a brow.

     "I think this thing is talking to me," Lance says. He reaches for the controls and presses a few buttons. The Blue Lion lets out a fearsome roar and fully stands. Lance then grasps the levers at either side of him, smiling eagerly. "Alright! Now let's try this!"

     He shoves the levers forward and the Lion crashes through the walls of the cave, emerging into the open desert. He flies the Lion around, performing crazy maneuvers and nose dives. You grab onto your brother's shoulders, holding on for dear life.

     "You are the worst pilot ever!" Keith barks, fighting to stay upright. 

     "Isn't this awesome?" Lance asks.

     "Make it stop!" Hunk gags, the excessive motion making him feel sick.

     "I'm not making it do anything! It's like it's on autopilot!" Lance says.

     The Lion dives towards the ground, its metal claws digging into the dry earth. It begins to run around, almost as if it's excited to be out of the cave. You swear you can even hear it purr.

     Then, the Lion jumps and blasts into the air. It heads further and further into the atmosphere, seemingly heading for outer space. Or maybe another nose dive.

     "Where are you going?" Keith asks.

     "I just said it's on autopilot!" Lance sasses, rolling his eyes. "It's telling me there's an alien ship approaching Earth. I think we're supposed to stop it."

     "What did it say exactly?" Pidge asks.

     "Well, it's not like it's saying words, it's more like feeding ideas into my brain," Lance says.

     Hunk whines, "If this thing is the weapon they're coming for, why don't we just give it to them? Maybe they'll leave us alone."

     Shiro snaps at him, his tone low and serious, "You don't understand. These monsters spread like a plague throughout the galaxy, destroying everything in their path. There's no bargaining with them, they won't stop until everything is dead."

     Hunk looks away, "Oh... never mind then."

     As the Blue Lion enters space, the gravity within the cockpit strangely stays the same. But you decide not to question it.

Then, out of nowhere, a giant alien warship pops up in front of you.

     "Lance, move," you say, grabbing his arm and pulling him up. "Now!"

     "What? Why?" he asks.

     "Just move!" you shout and he does so. You take his seat and grab onto the levers. This is serious, and you do not want to risk your brother failing at this as he did with the simulator.

     You maneuver the Lion around the warship just as it attacks, shooting purple lasers at you.

     "We've got to get out of here!" Pidge says.

     "I know," you say, "But we can't just leave it here. If Shiro's right, they'll destroy our home."

     Quickly, you turn the Blue Lion to face the warship and push one of the levers forward. You simultaneously press the button on the side of the handle and the Lion blasts a laser across the length of the warship. The fiery heat of it explodes the exterior.

     "Come on," you mutter as you turn back around, flying away from Earth. You bring up a rear camera on the dashboard, waiting for the warship to follow.

     And it does.

     "They're gaining on us!" Pidge says.

     "Weird... They're not attacking, just following," you say, pushing the levers forward more to gain some speed.

     "Okay, so now we think having aliens follow us is good?" Hunk asks.

     "Where are we even?" Keith asks.

     Shiro looks around, "The edge of the solar system... There's Kerberos," he says, pointing to Pluto's moon.

     "Seriously?" Pidge says, "It takes months for our ships to get out here! It took us five seconds!"

     "What–" you stop when what looks to be a large wormhole opens in front of you. The cloudy blue and white center swirls, obscuring whatever is on the other side of it.

     "I think this may sound crazy," Lance says, "But I think the Lion wants us to go through there!"

     "Where does it go..?" you ask warily, looking at your brother.

     "I don't know," he says. "Shiro... you're the superior officer hear. What should we do?"

     "Well, it seems like the Lion knows more than we do," Shiro answers. "But we're a team now, we should decide together."

     You look over your shoulder to everyone else, watching as they consider their options. After a moment, Lance places a hand on your shoulder and the group gives you a confirming nod.

     "I guess we're skipping class tomorrow," you say and fly into the wormhole. It closes right before the alien warship can follow you through.

      On the other side, the wormhole opens near an Earth-like planet. You stare at the blue waters and green continents, wondering how likely it is for the inhabitable chunk of rock to exist. All the other planets humans have discovered in faraway galaxies and systems never looked like this, even the ones that could have alien life.

     "I don't recognize any of the constellations," Shiro says, "We're a long way from Earth."

     The levers jerk from your hands as the Blue Lion takes over the controls. You sit back, "The Lion seems to want to go to this planet... I think it's going home," you say softly.

     As the Lion breaks through the atmosphere, it rumbles and shakes. Hunk groans, getting motion sick again. "I am the only one that's having second thoughts about going through a mysterious wormhole? Why are we listening to a sentient robotic lion anyway?" he asks, agitation clear in his tone.

     "It got us away from that alien warship!" Lance says.

     Keith glares at your brother. "I don't know if you noticed, but we're in an alien warship."

     You roll your eyes and tease, "What? Are you scared?"

     "Terrified," Keith sarcastically retorts.

     "Alright, knock it off," Shiro warns, "No one wants to be in this situation, but we're here now. The only to get through this is to do it together."

     "So..." you purse your lips, "What do we do?"

     "First, we figure out where we're headed," Shiro says, then looks to your brother expectantly. "Lance?"

     He shrugs, "I don't know, the Lion's not talking to me anymore- wait! Shh! You guys hear that?" he says and everyone falls silent. For once you do hear something, but it's nothing like the mythical and mysterious whispering voice you imagined.

     "Uh, it sounds like a high-pitch squeal?" Hunk says.

     Lance rips ass and you groan, slapping a hand over your mouth and nose. With your free one, you whip around and smack him. The group says their fair share of insults and complaints, too.

     He laughs, "But seriously, there's a castle up ahead!"

[animeyanderelover]

hello! happy new years! thank you as always for the great work! here come my two requests, which are repeats of old ones ive made before

1. Darling is in love with the yanderes, yet when they confess, darling rejects them because of their bad reputation with romance in general (yanderes of your choice)

2. Darling asks yandere to fake date them, and by the time they become obsessed, the darling is already done with whatever they needed (yanderes of your choice)

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, manipulation, stalking

Tags: @flaming-vulpix @iloveeyanderes

Please pretend to date me!

Matsuoka Rin

🦈​You have no choice but to seek him out as you don't know who else you should approach in college with your recent problem. Rin and you attended the same highschool and you dare to think that the both of you are somewhat close. Initially Rin is against the idea, unsure if your plan to fake date him is the right way to solve your problem but ultimately he caves in when you start turning upset and desperate to the point of tears. Both of you set boundaries though as neither of you wants to make the other one too uncomfortable. You manage to successfully fool everyone with the act as Rin is quite convincing with his act and you are just as convincing. It's the first time both of you have spent so much time together and you're somewhat glad for this chance as you secretly always wanted to get to know Rin better but never could because he was so preoccupied with swimming during highschool. Rin feels similar to you. He never realised just how sweet and adorable you are until now and he has already decided that he would like to stay in contact with you even after this act is over. Weirdly enough the thought that this all is going to be over soon has been bothering him more and more recently...

🦈​Just when Rin has started to realise what has been happening to him lately you suddenly announce to him that you have gotten what you wanted and that the both of you don't need to act like a couple anymore. You may as well have just punched him in the gut without any warning, the news having him forget how to breathe for a couple of seconds before he slowly gains a semblance of control again and gives you a nervous smile. That's quite sudden, don't you think? Are you sure that the problem has been solved? Maybe the two of you should pretend for a while longer to be absolutely sure. He wants more time, needs more time, to come up with a plan on how to proceed with his new feelings that have recently bubbled to life yet you cut him off without giving him any chance to work this out. You brush all of his attempts to coax you into giving it more time off though and Rin has in that moment no other choice but to force a grin on his face and let you off the hook, the smile only dropping as soon as you are out of his sight. He knows that this was only a temporary thing from the beginning but you can't just expect him to act like nothing happened after you made him fall in love with you.

🦈​He's not going to kid himself, he knows that what he is feeling is not an ordinary love. It's something that could potentially turn into something really ugly and if possible he would like to avoid using dirtier methods. That's why he has a talk with you alone where he confesses his feelings for you yet once again you shoot him down and make it very clear that you have no interest in him. The wide grin revealing all of his pointed teeth gives you a bad feeling though he merely states that he understands before he leaves you alone there with a bed feeling in your stomach. He doesn't leave you alone from that day on, always next to you as soon as he sees you with a carefree grin on his face whilst a possessive arm is suddenly swung around your body, pressing you closer to him. You have little tolerance for this and soon reprimand him, demanding him to stop acting like the both of you are actually a thing and confusing people around you. Rin only gives you a deceivingly sweet grin before telling you bluntly no. The both of you are a thing. Or would you like him to reveal the truth to the people you had him pretending to be your boyfriend for to bring back the troubles you avoided because of him?

Komaeda Nagito

⚪​From all the students that you could have asked for help you somehow decide to settle for Nagito. He is rather strange and weird yet you have a keen eye and have noticed that he seems to not see himself in the same light as other Ultimates, as undeserving to be in this school and you plan to use that as an advantage as an Ultimate yourself. It is just as you expected and your acting skills only add to this all as you come to him as a damsel in distress and beg of his help, tears swimming in your eyes and your lips wobbly as you tell him that he is the only one who can help you. He agrees swiftly, answering in his own dramatic rambling that an Ultimate like you shouldn't have to despair like this and that he will happily be of asset to you so that you may find your hope again. Deep down Nagito latches on quickly to your idea, willing to be a stepping stone for you to shine even brighter as a bringer of hope. He wants to be useful, wants to help you and deep down a part of him hopes that his help may even lead you to give him appreciation and love, something he secretly craves for.

⚪​As weeks pass by and both of you pretend to be a couple you start getting to know him better and soon you start feeling guilty for the way you previously thought of him. You realise that a lot of his off behavior seems to be a coping mechanism due to his own luck that always beings tragedy with it, his cheerfullness not genuine and his own self-loathing going deeper than you expected it to be. It is this guilt that causes you to be nicer to him, your attempts genuine as you try to understand him better and help him with this cursed luck of his. You couldn't have done a worse thing in that moment. The attention and the care you feed him quickly festers an obsession within Nagito. The way you look at him, talk to him and even gently touch him at times to stop him from talking down on himself soon has him beyond addicted as he swears to be your stepping stone to help you shine as the brightest hope out there. Only you can be the hope he has been wishing for. Only you can be his hope he has been yearning for for so long.

⚪​It's his disturbing obsession that ultimately causes you to quickly cut ties with him as soon as your problem has been solved and initially you fear for the worst when you tell him this, a careful distance between the two of you. You do not expect that calm smile on his face, a blissful look in his eyes as he starts talking about how glad he is that he could be of use to you and that it's alright that you don't want to be with him anymore. He does not demand your love but the only thing he wishes for is for you to keep on using him for your own gain. He'll sacrifice his sleep, his reputation and his health for you as long as he can keep on being useful to you as he goes down on his knees, his hands clasped together as he looks at you with a disturbing amount of reverence that has you running away. Degrade and insult him all you want or even fear him if you want to, it won't stop him following you around and clinging to you like a leech. He's your obedient lap dog who will do even unspeakable crimes for you if he believes it to be in your own good. He will never reach your greatness nor does he think that he is deserving of your love but he shall cherish the little time he got as your boyfriend forever.

Han Solo

You have met enough people to know how to convince someone like Han Solo to agree to your conditions. With the right price, a few compliments to feed into his ego and a tad bit of seduction you have him agreeing to your condition to play along in your little game long enough until you have resolved your problems in which case both of you can go your separate ways then again. You harbor no interest to keep in contact with him after everything is over but you do take your time to get to know him a bit considering that the both of you will have to act like a couple for a certain amount of times. Han Solo does his job though as he flirts with you, hangs around with you and dares to even touch you at times though you quickly let him know that he shouldn't be too handsy with you unless he wants to risk a bruised eye. Sometimes you have a feeling though that the bastard riles you up on purpose simply for the fun of it and that actually proves to be true when he eventually admits that he thinks it's quite cute to see you struggling to hold on to your self-control.

Han Solo has never been the type to see himself settling down or taking a permanent partner. His only partners are Chewbacca and his beloved Millennium Falcon and whilst he does enjoy the company of beautiful people and flirts with them, ultimately for him it is all about the money. That's why it takes him by surprise when he realises that he has started developing actual feelings for you that go beyond his usual light-hearted flirting. He may not show it but Chewbacca definitely notices that something is wrong with his partner and the Wookiee has known his partner long enough to realise what it is that is troubling Han Solo so deeply as he catches him secretly looking at you with almost longing in his eyes though the conflict is just as apparent. Luckily you do not understand his language or otherwise Chewbacca would have blown his secret already as the Wookiee starts teasing Han Solo sometimes about his new crush only for Han to give him a glare before telling his friend to shut up.

When you pay Han for his service and let him know that you are done with what you needed to do he is almost offended with how easily you just drop him off. Sure, this was the plan from the very beginning but have you not learned to appreciate him even a tiny bit during the weeks the two of you were togeher? Apparently not and initially his pride gets in the way as he just marches away, muttering curses as he foolishly assumes that perhaps travelling through space with his Millennium Falcon and entertaining himself on other planets will help him to forget about you. It only takes him a few weeks to return to your planet though with the grim realisation that his attraction has gotten out of hand though he scoffs when you ask him if he has returned for you, playing his feelings down as he merely states that he is free to go wherever you want and that not everything is about you. Needless to say though, it's going to be a new step for him as Han has to learn how to handle his newfound feelings as well as his increasing jealousy when you hang out with other guys. Are you really settling for just any loser?

Fred Weasley & George Weasley

It is quite hard to catch the twins in a moment alone as they are basically together all the damn time. That's why you instantly jump on one of them as soon as you catch him alone, truly not caring who it is. From all the people you could think about the Weasley twins seems to be the best option as they love pranking others and what you are about to do is essentially also a prank which is why you think that those two would be up for it. It's George that you have in front of you and as you beg him and to help you you can only be releaved when he tells you that it sounds quite interesting and agrees to help you. You don't know what you expected but somehow you aren't surprised when the next morning him and Fred both approach you with Fred telling you that your plan sounds quite devious as you essentially plan to lie to your own family to save yourself some serious trouble. Count him in. Well, perhaps it's not too bad that both of them are there to assist you with your plan as one can simply pretend to be the other without anyone noticing who doesn't know them closely. They even fool you like this at times to mess with you a bit, your angry reaction always adorable.

Both of them share essentially one heart and brain so neither of them is really surprised when they find out that somewhere along the line both of them have become quite fond of you. They don't even have to say it out loud. Both of them merely share a long look before nodding, instantly agreeing to share you. It's perhaps time for the duo to become a trio at last. They do not tell you that yet though, the pranksters inside of them wanting to mess with you for a bit longer whilst also planning how to keep you by their side even after the situation for you is finally over. They turn their flirty behavior around you up a couple of notches though to perhaps tease their feelings a bit to you without confirming them which leaves you at the end of the day always second-guessing everything. Yet you still remain unsure if you're just imagining things or not until the very end where you have solved the crisis and thank both of them for their help. Both of them just give you a grin with a thumb up, telling you that it was nothing and that they gladly helped you. You kind of look at them for a few seconds, expecting something only to leave slightly confused.

Perhaps you really were just seeing things after all is what you tell yourself when you go that night to bed. The next few days are fairly calm with nothing exceptional happening until both twins suddenly pop up in your life as if nothing happened, both still heavily flirting with you and doing all their tricks. They have invented all sorts of magical trinkets solely for the purpose to fluster and flatter you whilst making it obvious to everyone else that things have not ended between the three of you at all. You have little balls exploding over your head before it rains rose pedals all over you, heart-shapped bubbles floating towards you that both of them blow your way and little paper birds flying towards you, containing cheeky notes and confessions. You're torn apart between annoyance and flattery but the both of you had a deal that is now over so you ask both of them to please stop what they're doing. Both of them only give the other a cheeky look before they simply "nope" your request. They'll keep on messing with you like this as well as anyone else who thinks that they have a shot with you now. You three are a trio now and you don't get to walk out of it now.

Monkey D. Luffy

🍖​The Strawhats are currently on your island to stock up on food and other stuff, taking a short break and to you there couldn't have been a more perfect time for pirates to appear. You have been lying to your parents for quite a while now to avoid an arranged marriage, told them that you were together with someone already who was just travelling around a lot. Luffy is simply the first one you happen to stumble upon and in your desperation you instantly kneel in front of him, begging him to help you so that your parents would finally stop in their attempts to marry you off to someone else you don't even love. You've always heard the scary tales of pirates before and normally you would be very hesitant to approach one as you have always only ever heard bad stories of them robbing, killing and hurting people yet you are surprised when this one tells you with a smile on his face to stand up and that he will help you gladly, his kind smile reassuring you as you wipe youe tears away and give him a tentative grin of your own.

🍖Never in your life would you have estimated the first pirate you ever meet in your life to be someone like Luffy. He's a grown child in almost every sense but as stubborn and gullible as he can be he is just as compassionate and kind which takes you by surprise. You were raised to believe that all pirates would be out for blood and chaos yet Luffy doesn't care about treasure and riches as his sole dream is to be the King of the Pirates and to find the One Piece. You can't help but support him in his dream and soon you find yourself spending time with his crew almost everyday, happily showing them around your island and what makes your home so special. You have fun with all of them but the most time you still find yourself spending with Luffy who seems to cling to you like a koala to a tree.​ Sometimes his clinginess tends to overwhelm you a bit, his hand excitedly clutching yours as soon as he sees something that sparks that childish curiosity within him. You tend to forgive it though as you know that he is only playing his role... Right?

🍖​It is far too late already when you tell him eventually that the both of you don't need to pretend anymore as your parents have reluctantly stopped now that they believe that you already have someone. Yet as soon as your words leave your lips Luffy merely tilts his head confused. Pretending? What are you talking about? Apparently Luffy has stopped seeing this as a mere act long ago. The both of you are together in his eyes, you are already part of his crew. You struggle to explain to him that he is simply imagining things yet you are caught off guard when he asks you if you haven't been happy with him and had fun with his crew. That's when you find your breath stuttering as he unbeknownst to him targets a sensitive spot in you. He's right though, you have had more fun with his crew than you had in your home yet it is the fear of the unknown and other pirates that leads you to reject his offer to join his crew. You'd be wrong though in your belief that Luffy would accept a no for an answer, especially since you are his lover. Don't you love him? You can only pray that your parents won't find out not only that everything was a bluff but also that you asked a pirate of all people for help.

[userlando]

✧･ﾟ 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮

alejandro vargas x female!reader [3.1k] summary ⤍ alejandro comes home three days earlier than expected. warnings ⤍ 18+ (mdni) explicit language & smut, unprotected sex (piv), oral sex (f receiving) a/n ⤍ i have been obsessed with call of duty lately and this man does not have enough fics written about him. also been feeling like crap lately so this was just very self-indulgent. any and all feedback is appreciated and welcomed. my spanish is also super limited so don't judge too much pls

The door creaks when Alejandro steps over the threshold, eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness as he sneaks inside and makes a mental note to oil the hinges in the morning. He toes off his combat boots and pushes them to the side, scanning the downstairs area for any signs of life. There's none, but it's clear that it's been a rough day judging by the endless clutter of toys strewn from the hallway leading into the living area.

It's hard not to smile in fondness at the mess, heart squeezing when he approaches the coffee table where his daughter had clearly been kept busy with drawing. His fingers touch the messily scrawled letters spelling out 'daddy', taking in a drawing of what he assumes is him - with weirdly tall legs - holding hands with a little girl that resembles his daughter. He shrugs off his jacket, drapes it over the couch and gets to work on collecting all the toys and cleaning up the mess as quietly as he can. It's a big house, so he's not too worried about waking someone up.

When the dishes are washed and placed on the rack to dry, he turns around and heaves a sigh. The exhaustion is starting to creep up on him as he finally lets himself relax, shoulders dropping from where they'd been tense. It had been a hard and gruelling mission, one that had kept him away from his family for over three weeks. The sudden need to see his two favourite girls becomes too much, too fast.

He skillfully sneaks into his daughters room, locates her sleeping form and spends more time than he should've to look at her. He knows she's a light sleeper, refraining from stroking the brown locks away from her face or giving her forehead a kiss. Alejandro made another silent mental note to wake up early to surprise her with pancakes. Maybe he could keep her from school and spend the day with her.

Leaving her sleeping soundly in her bed, he walks quietly down the hallway to the bedroom he shares with you. The door is ajar, soft light spilling from the open crack and he remembers how you'd been doing that ever since you had your daughter. What if she needs me and I can't hear her? You'd once replied when he asked why you insisted on keeping the door open. Alejandro was trained to hear a needle drop, but he could understand your worry all the same and didn't protest at all.

The bedside lamp was on, shedding enough light for him to spot your sleeping form spanned over the mattress. He smiles at the way you're sleeping on your stomach, hands shoved beneath the pillow your head is resting on and he tries to contain the way his heart jumps in his throat when he realizes you're sleeping on his side and on his pillow. He had a feeling you'd been doing that when he's away, it's hard not to notice the smell of your sweet shampoo on his pillow but seeing it in person does things to Alejandro that he couldn't even put to words even if you tried.

He yanks his sweater off as quietly as he can and wastes no time to crawl onto the bed, the mattress dipping where he places his knees. Alejandro should probably let you sleep, judging by the little circles under your eyes and the way your nose is softly whistling with every breath. Btut he really can't help it, dipping his head down to nose into the juncture of your neck and throat. You're ticklish there, always squirming when he kisses you there but you're soft and warm, and you smell so good that he can't help but nuzzle into the little space with a small, happy sigh.

As predicted, you stir in your sleep at the soft touch, shoulder tensing up as his eyelashes tickles a particularly sensitive spot. The tired giggle that escapes your lips almost has Alejandro keeling over.

"Mi amor." Alejandro presses a kiss to your cheek and watches your eyes flutter.

Your lips stretch into a smile when you start to wake up, struggling to turn around with the way your husband is straddling you; Covers wrapped around you messily. He helps you turn onto your back and then you two look at each other with matching smiles on your face. You take in the slight stubble on his face, hands reaching out to touch the prickly skin as you stroke your thumb under his eyes.

"Welcome home." You murmur and that's the incentive he needs to bend down and kiss you.

He loves on your lower lip for a moment before trailing small kisses over your jawline, up to your cheeks.

"You're not supposed to be home for another three days." You say, trying to sound accusing but the smile on your face is too happy.

Alejandro smiles and noses along your cheek lovingly; Like he needs to feel you with him, here, alive. It's not unusual for him to become like this after his missions because God knows what kind of horrendous things he experiences on the daily. That's one of the biggest reasons why you'd decided to move out to the country side, settling down in a farm house with minimal civilization. I need to know that my two favourite girls are safe when I'm not there to protect them, he'd once said. The fear in his eyes and the urgency in his voice was enough conviction for you. He already had a million things to worry about, you didn't need to add his family to the list. Even though you were pretty sure that you were the highest ones up on the list already.

"Needed to see you." He murmured, sighing against your cheek. The puff of air makes you squirm.

"And you're okay?" You cup his face and bring it up in front of you so you can take a look at him.

He doesn't seem harmed, the darkness under his eyes the only indication that he's been struggling. His eyes search your face before he nods once.

"I'm alright, corazón." He grabs your hands in his and presses kisses to them. "Are you two alright?"

You grimace and it makes Alejandro laugh.

"Your daughter is hellbent on challenging me every day," You pause and smile bashfully at him. "I guess you saw the mess downstairs."

Alejandro smiles and bends down, placing his elbows on either side of you. You can't help but crane your neck up to steal a kiss from him.

"Already taken care of, cariño." He goes for a second kiss and you respond eagerly when his tongue touches yours softly.

He kisses you deeply enough to forget what you were talking about, fingers sliding between his strands of hair to grip it softly. Alejandro gently moans into your mouth and you kiss him harder, not realizing how much you'd missed being touched like this until now. Granted, it had only been three weeks but it had been three weeks too long. And your husband seems to share that sentiment, judging by the way he grips your hair and tilts your head to the side so he can suck kisses into your neck. You pant into the air at the feel of his stubble against your sensitive skin, feeling feverish all of a sudden.

"And you?" He whispers into your skin, bringing his sinful mouth back to your ear. "Do you need to be taken care of?"

You can't help the moan in response, feeling your body light up just from his words and Alejandro seems to enjoy it. You can feel his mouth stretch into a smile, kissing his way up to your lips and claiming them once again.

"Yes, yes please." You reply belatedly, feeling a little like your head is swimming.

Alejandro doesn't waste any time to pluck the straps of your nightgown down from your shoulders, slipping them off enough to expose your breasts. He moans in appreciation at the sight of them, scooting down to mouth at the swell of them. You squirm beneath him, hands gripping his hair when he wraps his lips around one nipple to suck and lightly tease with his teeth. The slight sting of it makes it all the more pleasurable.

"Seems like I've been neglecting you, sweetheart." He releases your nipple and pouts at you.

It doesn't make him look regretful nor sad. He just looks outright devilish with his eyes locked on yours, hands coming up to grab at both your tits to knead and massage into his palms. He marvels at the way your mouth drops, taking in your fluttering eyelids and decides that he's waited enough.

His hands wander down, pushing the covers to your feet before he slides his palms up your legs. You try not to think too hard about how you hadn't had time to take care of yourself and taken the time to freshen up and shave, but Alejandro looks enamored all the same when he takes his time to knead your thighs. You had been together for four years and married for three, so you knew that he had absolutely no qualms when it came to body hair or the way you looked.

"Eyes on me, baby." His voice brought you out of your drifting thoughts, pads of his fingers digging into the meat of your thighs as if to ground you.

You locked eyes with him, warmth spreading over your cheeks when you realized that he'd caught you worrying silently in your head. He somehow knew exactly what you were feeling and thinking, and the reassuring smile he sent your way was enough for you to relax and spread your legs so he could wedge himself between them.

"You look perfect," He trailed off and looked down at his hands travelling up your thighs, pushing the hem of your night gown with it. You squirmed when he flipped it up to your stomach, eyes hungrily taking in your center. "Fuck, so gorgeous."

You'd foregone underwear completely, feeling way more comfortable sleeping without them, but it seemed to stun Alejandro into silence as he trailed his fingers down over your mound until he nudged your clit. It wasn't a surprise that you were soaked, almost closing your legs when he swiped a finger down your hole and slicking it up. He scooted down further to lay on his stomach, pressing small and reassuring kisses to your inner thighs before he licked up your center.

A startled whimper escaped you and you clamped a hand over the crown of his head, the other one grabbing onto the sheets by your side. You sighed out a small moan when you felt his tongue circle your clit, pursing his lips and sucking it into his mouth. He placed a hand on your hip and pushed you back down into place when you bucked up into his mouth, eyes flickering down to find him staring at you.

He looked captivating, mouth working sinfully between your legs and eyebrows drawn taut. His eyes were dark, resistant and not moving away from your face in fear of missing a single facial expressions flickering over your face. It was a struggle to keep your sounds in, especially when he worked a finger and then two into you. It should've been embarrassing how easily you sucked them in, but you were too far gone and too close to your orgasm to care about it.

Alejandro hummed low in his throat when you started making those hitched noises he loved so much, indicating that you were close to your release. You wrapped your legs around his form and whispered a string of yes, yes, yes when the vibrations of his humming sent you straight over the edge of oblivion. Your body taut as a bowstring, back arched and hands gripping the sheets, you gasped out your orgasm as Alejandro licked and sucked at you through the waves of intense pleasure. He snuck a hand into his pants and gripped himself at the sounds you were making, your taste on his tongue and the blissed out expression on your face. He was so hard he felt like all the blood had rushed down, making him feel lightheaded when the stroke of his hand gave him some form of release.

It wasn't enough though and he placed multiple kisses to your inner thighs before he climbed up once again to claim your mouth in a filthy kiss that had you whimpering. You were still shivering, hot puffs of breath escaping your lips and melting Alejandro's insides from how incredibly hot he found it. Found you. You looked absolutely destroyed already, eyes blown out and satisfied; Just as he liked you.

"More," you murmured against his lips and it sounded like beautiful music to your husbands ear. "Need more, Ale. Please."

You didn't need to tack on the please, because Alejandro would move mountains and collect every star in the sky for you if you asked. He didn't know how it was possible to love someone like he loved you, and it only seemed to grow every day.

He made quick work of shedding the rest of his clothes, struggling to keep from preening when you stroked your hands over his broad shoulders, bulging biceps and touching the hairs on his muscled chest. The admiration in your eyes made something in his stomach go tight from adoration for you and pride because a body like his didn't just appear out of nowhere. He'd worked hard for it and it kind of came with his job.

Your hands wandered and came to a stop on the back of his neck when he leaned close to you, cock nudging your entrance. You both let soft gasps when he let himself slide along your slick pussy, legs wrapping themselves around his body. Alejandro's breath stuttered when he buried his face against your neck, sliding himself home and making you clench on instinct. He made a sound in his throat at the sudden tightness and warmth, arms wrapping around your torso to hold you as close to him as possible.

"God, you feel so good." His voice was hushed, spoken warmly against your cheek and you turned your head to press a kiss to his lips as he bottomed out inside of you.

"You feel huge." You said, not really meaning to vocalize your thoughts out loud but it made Alejandro laugh in your ear.

"Oh, really?" He pulled back and thrust back in slowly, making you moan. "Like that?"

You nodded your head, leaning your head back against the pillow and closing your eyes. Alejandro built up a rhythm, hips meeting your flesh with every thrust he made as he started fucking into you. It had been a few weeks, enough for you to forget how incredibly thick he was. Even though you'd pushed out a baby, and had four year to get used to his size, it just... Never got easier. It did mean that he could stretch you out so deliciously good that you'd feel it for days after. Like the time when you'd had Rudy staying over for a few days and he'd noticed your limp in the morning as you went to prepare the coffee machine. He hadn't outright said anything, too embarrassed to point out your funny walk, but it had been written all over his face when you'd turned around to face him. You didn't know why you ever thought you could hide it from someone like him. Alejandro still found it hilarious to this day.

"He estado pensando en ti." Your husband nosed along your cheek before giving you a kiss.

You knew he thought of you often, but it never failed to warm your heart because you always thought about him whether he was away or at home. And that's exactly what you voiced out loud.

"Pienso en ti siempre." You spoke against his lips, watching as his lips stretched into a breath taking smile.

He gave a thrust, mouth dropping open into a sinful O and you watched, mesmerized. It was clear he wasn't far from orgasming, thrusts faltering a little as he started speeding up. You moaned and grabbed at his shoulder, letting him nip at your throat and press filthy kisses against your lips as he fucked into you. It was only a matter of time, the slickness of your pussy and the clenching set him on edge; Made him bare his teeth like an animal. It was hard to look away when he sat himself up and grabbed at your knees to push your legs up and to your stomach, growling low in his throat at the tightness around his cock. He looked breath takingly beautiful, bushy eyebrows scrunching up and eyes fluttering shut when he tilted his head back.

A couple of thrusts into you and he gasped into the vastness of the room, breath stuttering as he came inside of you. You grabbed at his arms, pulled him down into you and kissed him just so he could moan freely into your mouth without waking up your kid in the other room. He slowly recovered, body quivering and twitching whenever you'd clench involuntarily around his sensitive cock and you ran your fingers softly through his damp hair as he gradually came down from his high.

You grimaced against the top of his head when he slowly pulled himself out of you with a hiss, and he must've felt you tense up a bit because he placed a gentle kiss to your naked shoulder.

"Lo siento." He moved his head from your chest to pull your night gown over your exposed chest and the straps up your shoulders.

You were too tired to protest when he eventually moved off of you, making his way to the adjoining bathroom to clean himself up. It took a moment and you didn't realize that you'd dozed off until you jolted awake when the mattress dipped. Alejandro whispered an apology, to which you gave him a sleepy smile, and then went to work on cleaning you up with a damp rag. He threw it to the side when he was done and made himself comfortable right beside you.

"I'm happy you're home." You broke the silence with a sleepy whispered confession.

Alejandro gently pulled you into his arms, nuzzling his face into the back of your neck with a happy sigh.

"Me too, mi amor."

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I have weirdly posted very little on Tumblr about the current Taskmaster season, despite being absolutely obsessed with it. I’ve been enjoying it hugely, but every time I go to write a post about it, I get in my head about whether I’m enjoying it wrong. I need to stop reading the internet.

So I’m liveblogging this episode, like I used to do. Because it’s fun. Thoughts on Taskmaster s17e06, written as I watch it:

- That intro was the funniest one they’ve had in a while. The aunt relay story was like the Platonic ideal of Taskmaster intro Alex banter. Great start.

- John Robins is, as I expected and specifically called (you have to call it so you can have the bragging rights if you’re right and never bring it up again if you’re wrong), absolutely killing it, points-wise, throughout this season of Taskmaster. But his prize tasks aren’t what I was expecting, especially since good prize tasks are usually correlated strongly to a contestant who cares a lot about winning, as the others just fill in the list without much thought. John started really strong with the diaries, and since then has just brought in things that float around the internet four separate times. I would like to see the rest of his Taskmaster meme collection thought.

- And Nick brought in an ice cube, so maybe John’s still in the game. Quite funny how he sold that though, his entire face swearing that this is definitely a reasonable thing to do.

Look, I’m trying to stop drinking, and I am definitely over the mentality I had in my twenties, about how you have to drink things “properly”, where “properly” means never diluting the alcohol content because, to quote Lord Gregory Davies, “I’m not a pussy”. My days of believing that sort of thing are long over, I swear. Or I thought they were, until I saw this. Don’t put ice in wine, guys. Obviously. Don’t put ice in wine.

- Ohhh, this is that episode Joanne was talking about on the podcast, where they refer to the prizes as “presents for Greg”. Good stuff, that was funny.

- The contestants who turn up on Taskmaster having obviously never seen it before are the ones where I’m least likely to seek out their other work, because I just cannot believe I would find anything relatable in anything written by a person who could go on a show like that without doing any research beforehand. However, those contestants are often funny in the moment. And Sophie not knowing what prize tasks are by episode six is pretty funny.

- Of the first three prizes, Sophie’s is the first one I’d actually want. I’ve always thought going around in those giant inflatable balls looks like enormous fun, but I’ve never done it. Can’t see Greg enjoying it, though. What a terrible gift.

- Alex’s petulant “They’re not presents!” was also very funny. Strong first six minutes of the episode for Alex Horne.

- I would also like Joanne’s present. And unlike with Sophie’s, I don’t see why Greg wouldn’t. I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t. I shouldn’t want this because she’s one of the two people with a shot at catching up to John, but five points to Joanne. That’s got to be the best present.

- Oh, this is the episode when Steve pulls out that cryptic crossword message that people found back in the fall, when this was filmed. Yeah, okay, I hate to say it but that’s got to be five points to Steve on effort alone. They’re a good thing to get into, too. And it should be four to Joanne; I’ve got bragging rights riding on John but top marks in this one should go to the two people mostly likely to catch him. I’m extremely impressed by anyone who can do a cryptic crossword, much less set one.

- Further to my argument that competitiveness is not just entertaining for its own sake, but it is also funny when done on this comedy show: the look on John Robins’ face after Steve reveals the cryptic crossword and John realizes he’s fucked this one by comparison. You can’t tell me that’s not funny. That is a funny realization to watch come over a person’s face. Also, this is the most I’ve liked Steve in the show so far. That is some proper effort.

- Yep, I hate to say it because of my bragging rights that are on the line, but I think Greg scored that prize task exactly correctly. You’re going to need to pick it up in the studio tasks, John. And maybe stop bringing in shit you found on the internet. I’m fine and invested in the competitive side of this a normal amount.

- I frequently like the tasks in which they have to reference each other in some way (like the season 12 prize task where they brought gifts for the person sitting next to them is one of my favourite prize tasks ever), but I’m not sure how well it’ll work in a season where aside from Nick and Steve, none of them seem to know each other (at least before filming this). In addition to two people not knowing what show they’re on. Joanne’s probably got a bit of an advantage here because everyone knows some stuff about Steve Pemberton.

- No victory criteria specified on the task, so this will be a two-parter. Which means actually, the points may not even be based on how good the hamper is, so maybe that’s no advantage at all. The points will probably be based on what they do with their hampers once they get them.

- Just to be pedantic for a moment: the information is on the task, and the task itself never actually says their hamper has to match the wheel.

- Joanne bringing in that thing I mentioned, that she’ll be able to come up with something for Steve because everyone knows at least a bit about him: holding up a disembodied head, “This ‘cause I know he likes weird shit.” Yep. I haven’t actually seen any of the League of Gentlemen shows, but that’s the one thing I know about Steve Pemberton from outside Taskmaster. If I had to represent what I’m pretty sure his work is like, I think there are probably disembodied heads and other weird shit.

- Steve Pemberton quoting the wrong song back at Alex after “1, 2, 3, 4” was also pretty funny. He’s slightly growing on me this episode.

- Joanne’s first thought of what makes things exciting: tequila. Very on-brand.

- I like the idea of this task, fairly open-ended and leaves room for creativity. It’s not far off from the “create tension” task, or the many similar “make [thing] the most exciting” in previous seasons, but those often tend to be good. And this season has a few people who seem to shine in the ones where they’re allowed to do a whole sketch. Nick, so far in this season, has squandered several opportunities to show off his actual memorization/magic trick-related skills, but has squandered no opportunities to show off his theatrical side.

- Joanne going in a split second from giggling about Irish stereotypes to accusing Greg of racism: also funny.

- And one scene later, we have Nick’s theatrical side. I knew he’d go big on this. Constructed a set and organized lighting and music. Good stuff.

- Sophie might be okay here, point-wise, if she comes up with a narrative to justify the dancing when selling it. But I bet she won’t.

- Having seen her in the studio – and she didn’t. Why did Alex have a pigeon on his head? You need a narrative, Sophie. Greg likes a narrative.

- “And that, Greg, was a thumble brag.” – Alex

Thumble brag, it’s thumble brag, thumble brag of the week!

- Everyone’s very on brand in this task so far. Nick goes theatrical. Sophie does a confused abstract dance-y thing. John goes sporty.

- I wrote that before seeing Joanne in a moustache, doing an unnecessarily complicated game. That’s less on-brand but I like it.

- My reaction while watching John’s set-up: That’s funny, he took the opportunity to turn the tables on Alex, making him read out and do a task. Aw, got the Queen song titles in there, well done. I wonder if they’ll… hang on, are you allowed to just light shit on fire in the grass on the Taskmaster grounds? What the fuck? He says he had a two-hour health and safety meeting to clear driving that car with an egg, but no one stopped him from lighting a fire in the grass?

- I have no idea what the hell is going on in Joanne’s attempt but it’s definitely not a thumb war. What did Joanne think the task was?

- Whatever John and Alex were doing was also not a thumb war, though maybe slightly more because they did hit each other with pretend thumbs. Also, I don’t care whether it adhered to the remit, because that was enormous fun to watch. I would genuinely watch that like an actual sport. I would pay good money for the uncut footage of that whole game. Why don’t more people on Taskmaster hit each other with sticks?

- Okay, lots of things in this episode have been funny so far, but the first one to make me actually laugh out loud was John freaking out about naming the wrong Queen album when asked what a particular song was on. It’s the split-second transition between the confidence with which he delivered his first answer and the panic when he realized it was wrong. That transition is never not funny. The cheeky look on Alex’s face was pretty good too.

- Ugh, they saved Steve for last because he’s going to go really big, isn’t he? He’s been good in all the theatrical tasks so far. I’m not saying “ugh” because I’m not impressed, I just don’t want him to narrow John’s lead in the overall scores.

- Okay that was fucking funny. He went even bigger than I expected, how did he put all that together in that amount of time? Yeah, fuck it, well done, Steve. You made a movie. But you didn’t hit Alex Horne with a stick, did you?

- I’m enjoying Alex in the studio being briefly unable to read the autocue because he’s giggling too hard at Steve’s theatrical production.

- I think I’d have put Joanne on the same level as Nick and John – I’d personally probably have put John one point higher, and that’s not because I have bragging rights staked on him winning the series, it’s because I like watching sport-type-things and people hitting each other with sticks – but if I take out my subjective bias, I think the three of them were probably about the same. Other than that I agree with the scoring though.

- I enjoyed the high five between Nick and Sophie over both being at the bottom of the scoring. It’s always fun when the two lowest-scoring contestants bond over that. John’s only one point up though, rough episode for him. But he’s got a cushion of a few points on his lead overall, it’s all right. Steve was always going to win that theatrical one. Also, Alex just said the word “darts” when introducing the next task, which makes me think John’s about to claw some points back. That’s his thing.

- Oh yes, those are darts in the initial shots. Let’s go, Johnny JR. Here’s where you make up the points.

- Oh it’s a team task. Okay this might go less well. Means he can’t pull ahead of Joanne here. But he can at least catch up to Steve. I bet Steve Pemberton can’t throw darts.

- John doesn’t even get into the dome before informing the team that he was on the college darts team. I’m impressed that he managed to hold back from mentioning that he was the captain. I’m actually looking forward to this, aside from its value as a Taskmaster task. I’ve spent a lot of time listening to John Robins brag about his darts skills, and it sounds like he can back that up, as other comedians who’ve seen him play say he’s good, and presumably Oxford doesn’t make you captain of their teams if you can’t do it. I’m pleased that I’ll (presumably) get to see if he can do it. Or see him fail at what’s supposed to be “his thing”, which will also be funny.

- You know, there is a bit of a pattern of Alex putting things in this season that seem like little things related to John Robins, mainly just little Easter Egg things for Alex's friend. Pickled onions in that glove task, when John is always going on about how much he likes picked onions. The task on the first episode where they had to rank each other by who’s won the Perrier Award (that of course applies to Steve too, but I assume Steve has enough other accomplishments in his career so he doesn’t define himself by it so much). Reading in Welsh. Darts. I would have counted rum being in the gloves task as one of those little nods to John Robins things, though doing that on purpose would be pretty fucked up right after he quit drinking, so I’m assuming it was just a really weird oversight. A really weird oversight. I would like them to include less fake alcohol for the alcoholic, and more tasks based around activities he’s really good at (I’m sorry, I can’t refer to darts as a sport, but it’s a very impressive skill). Mainly because I have bragging rights riding on him doing well. And because I want to see how good he actually is at darts.

- And Alex gets in a mention of John being captain of the darts team, after John refrained from saying so himself. Alex does do this while calling John out for stripping off on camera, though, so it doesn’t come off as that much of a compliment.

- Well we won’t find out if Steve’s any good at throwing darts, but Nick Mohammed doesn’t seem to be. And Steve Pemberton is definitely not much of a gymnast. I wonder if that would have gone better if they’d traded places? Nick’s probably more flexible, but being short seems like a disadvantage, not being able to reach as far. I’d have also expected Nick to be better at the bottle thing, given that he does party tricks for a living.

- I wrote the above point before hearing them have that exact discussion in the studio. I think Nick’s wrong, they had it the right away around. I also think all of Sophie and Nick’s interactions are quite funny. But all be honest, at this point I’m mainly focused on getting to the next part so I can see John Robins throw darts.

- Sophie declaring that she’s actually pretty good at bottle flipping and then immediately tossing it on the ground was perfectly timed. Or well edited.

- I've been avoiding filling the post up with screenshots the way I have in previous Taskmaster liveblogs (mainly because it takes too long), but John and Joanne's facial expressions immediately after Sophie throws the bottle on the ground are pretty funny:

Those are two people who have confirmed they are definitely going to need to rely on darts skills and flexibility.

- I was doing well with avoiding screenshots until I got to the part of the episode where they keep having reactions to Sophie’s incompetence. I'm quite enjoying John watching with dismay as Sophie drops it on the ground again, then as soon as her back is turned, he glances at Alex like, "What am I expected to do with this?"

It was a great idea to set up this task so Sophie Willan can perform some straight-up slapstick comedy in the background the whole time. It's like the time they put Guz Khan on a chair and made him eat chocolates in an amusing way while the other two got on with the task.

- God damn, John. Yep, the man can play darts. It turns out he can, in fact, play darts. That’s pretty cool to watch. It’s not a sport but it’s cool to watch.

- Have to give some credit here to Joanne’s contortionist abilities too. That’s pretty good. They definitely got it the right way around.

- Holy shit, that’s really impressive. I’m enjoying the montage of John smugly repeating “bullseye” but I wish we had more shots of him actually throwing. What we did see was cool.

- Second proper, significant laugh out loud of the episode comes from Alex telling them they have to do it again in different roles, and then admitting he’s joking. Good joke, Alex.

- Holy shit, was Joanne really clambering around in there for an hour? I can believe that, if they had 43 moves. An hour of that would be just over a minute per move. That is impressive on her part, for the stamina as much as the flexibility. That’s fucking cool. I would like the uncut footage of that task as well, please, Taskmaster.

- Oh I like that interior task location. How have they not used that until the second half of the season?

- Ah, that’s where they were going with the hamper. We haven’t had a good “create a portrait” task yet this season, and this a fun deviation from making ones of Greg. I guess there are only so many portraits of Greg the contestants can be forced to make.

So actually, if they were being strategic in the hamper task, they should have put basically nothing in there, to stop their opponents from being able to make anything good. But they couldn’t have known that and it could have backfired if they’d tried. Also I guess they’re technically on a comedy show.

- Joanne’s running monologue throughout this task is horrifying.

- Oh shit, Steve’s isn’t bad. Solid use of banana. Actually looks like a person. Unnecessary detail, as there has been in most of Steve’s tasks throughout this season. I’m a big fan of unnecessary detail. I’d probably quite like Steve if I’d never heard him on the podcast admitting to breaking that egg on purpose. But he did so I still want him to get beat. I doubt he will on this task, though.

- Written after seeing the next picture: definitely not by Joanne, he won’t.

- This has nothing to do with the episode or anything but I like Joanne’s t-shirt. The one she’s wearing. Not anything about the picture she made. The picture she made is almost as horrifying as her monologue while making it.

- Oh, John’s is surprisingly not bad either! It looks like an actual person. An orange person, which is not the colour Nick Mohammed is, but still. To be fair John did have flour, which is an advantage over the others, you can make a proper picture with that.

- And Nick’s is terrible, but his attempt to sell it in the studio is pretty funny.

- Oh and Sophie’s is properly good! Though she also had easier materials. That’s got to be the five-pointer.

- What? Nick over John? I don’t think so. Come on, Greg. That’s the first score I’ve really strongly disagreed with all episode.

- Sophie and Steve celebrating the five points together is funny, though.

- Okay, John’s not fallen that far behind. Only three points behind the top score, going into the live task. That’s less than his overall lead. If this is going to be his weak episode it’s not that bad, depending how the final task goes.

- Oh, I like a team studio task.

- Well they’ve definitely got it the right way around this time, having Nick get covered in rings. The other team might have had it wrong, as Sophie’s slightly shorter than Joanne, but more importantly, Joanne would probably be better at throwing than Sophie. This is one that’s a big advantage to the team of three since there are two throwers, but that’s only an advantage if Sophie can throw.

- That got exciting at the end. I stopped pausing it to write stuff down once they actually started the studio task, because I did end up getting into it like a sport. Maybe too much like a sport, the words “Come on John” came out of my mouth a couple of times before I remembered it’s not really a sport. It’s fine, guys. It’s fine. It’s not really a sport. Credit to Steve, though, the man can throw. And Nick can move. Some good catching from Joanne, too.

While watching this, I’ve thought of another way that competitiveness is definitely funny. It’s just a parody, isn’t it? Parody is funny. You take something that really exists outside comedy, remove its contents but keep its structure, and fill the structure up with silly contents. In this case, a task like this is a parody of sport. The tension, the competitiveness, the physical effort, the strategy, the skills on display, the commentary, the drama – the structure of a sport is all there. But you fill it up with something silly. Parodies are funny, and they get funnier the more seriously they’re taken.

- Oh shit! It’s a Wilkinson situation! I mean, without the drama of the Wilkinson situation, because Steve Pemberton is doing fine overall and doesn’t really need this. But still, I do like it when Greg actually sticks to the rules and disqualifies people when they deserve it. Fine margins, Steve! Fine margins!

John winning team tasks is a double-edged sword, obviously, because it bolsters Joanne's points too, and at the moment she's in second place. But it's not like it would be better if they lost, and I think it's still more important to extend his lead over Steve than over Joanne. Even though she's ahead of them, I feel like Steve is more likely to catch up to John than Joanne is. Partly because of something Nick said on the podcast a while ago, mentioning that the competition in their season was usually between John and Steve. If Joanne ends up winning the whole thing, you'd think he'd have included her in that.

- Oh, and just after I wrote the above point, I played the video again and they showed the overall season scores so I didn’t have to be keeping track in my head. John’s still got his lead comfortably. Getting to the point where Steve almost can’t catch him in the time they have left, though I don’t want to say that yet. Having a task like this that goes 5-0 for John over Steve was big for that.

Joanne could definitely catch him, which makes me glad they’re on a team, so she can’t get ahead of him via team tasks. It’s a good position after six episodes.

- And Joanne gets on the board with episode wins. That’s good, she definitely should be there. And I definitely remember that this is just a parody and not an actual sport. It's fine. Good episode. I am a normal amount of invested in it.

[yesiwasateenagewerewolf]

Eddie Kaspbrak and the absolutely atrocious men he dates before he realizes he loves Richie:

That one guy who was using him for a free food and a place to charge his phone.

The guy who used 'ironic' slurs.

The guy who hit on all his friends when Eddie wasn't in the room.

The guy who hit on all his friends in front of Eddie.

The guy who lovebombed him and who Eddie thought was perfect up until he started pressuring Eddie to drop his friends and move to the middle-of-nowhere Wyoming with him.

The guy who screamed at Eddie about the proper way to organize a sock draw on their second date. Eddie still went on a third date with him.

The guy who wanted to use Eddie's Derry trauma and famous friends as the basis of his true crime podcast.

The guy who told Eddie he should forgive his mother because she loved him and did her best and it wasn't like Eddie could have been an easy kid given he was such a brat now.

The guy who was weirdly obsessed with Henry Bowers - child serial killer - and liked to sniff Eddie's hair and talk about how Eddie escaped. Bill still maintains that guy is a serial killer in waiting and should be on a watch list.

The guy who used Eddie's email contacts list to try and sell his MLM scheme. Yes, Eddie did join. He's still trying to disentangle himself. The emails keep coming even though he unsubscribed and the vitamins did nothing and were basically sugar!

The guy who, when Eddie introduced him to his friends, tried to fight Richie in the parking lot of the restaurant they all met at. Apparently Eddie talked about Richie too much and the guy was jealous. Yes, Richie headbutted the guy but it was self-defence.

An actual running theme of all of Eddie's boyfriends is they hate Richie. They loathe him. Eddie cannot understand it because Richie is amazing and his best friend. So what if Eddie falls asleep talking to him and then calls him first thing in the morning? They're besties!

Yes, Eddie would choose Richie and hanging out with Richie in a heartbeat over any of them but they're all terrible so it doesn't really mean anything, right? He just loves Richie so much and he just got him back and he wants to spend all the time with Richie that he can!

Eddie is fully "That guy who doesn't know he's in love with his best friend" for a lot of nice, normal men who never went on a second date with him because they knew that wasn't ending in their favour.

[tleeaves]

See, everything about this screams "bad idea." He prefers bustling cities, I crave quiet nature out in the middle of nowhere (I do quite like cities though because of the stimulation every so often - a balance is my preference). He loves to swim, loves the beach, used to go out clubbing and drinking a lot before life got in the way. I have a deep phobia related to water and a dislike for most beaches, I detest the idea of clubbing and if I drink more than a glass of something I'll make myself sick. He enjoys capitalism, I am generally anti-capitalist. He's accident prone and has the scars to prove it, and I am an over-worrier who's been too careful about basically everything my whole life. He actually seems eager to see me whenever we catch up and for so long I treated him with indifference, and now I fear the tables have turned. I don't even know why he'd want to keep seeing me in any way. When we first met, he'd basically picked me out as a liberal arts feminist with dyed hair and opinions on queerness from That State down south, and I'd pegged him as some uptight rich douchebag's neglected son from overseas who views the world in shades of black, white and grey in between straight lines with an obsession over the corporate world. I thought he'd hate me. But he's so sweet to me. He's never inappropriate (except for when he asked my relationship status way early on, and I had briefly considered scolding him). He's actually good at listening. He's weirdly shy. And fun to tease because of that. He won't say he wants to see me and when I bring it up he just laughs and goes "I thought by asking when you were free would make it obvious?" If I leave one of his messages as just read and he feels he should have said more - he'll actually add more like he's worried about it. I don't know why he ever worries what I think of him. He's had much more intimate experience and I am an awkward virgin who half-expects to die that way too unless I give in to certain alternatives. He's a perfectionist and idk how he hasn't burned out yet. He's highly intelligent. Can consume what would be deadly amounts of caffeine if it were me. He dresses neat and has the nicest glasses. When I mentioned plants - heaven forbid - he actually asked me about them and let me yap for ages until I gained self-awareness again and stopped and apologised. He dismissed the apology and said he'd learned heaps from me that he'd never known before. This has never happened when I talk to a guy about my gardening hobby. It's not even a big deal. This is bare minimum shit and I know damn well I expect flowers, nice dinners, and actual dates beyond coffees from someone serious but it's just enough for that tiny crush I've been trying to kill since it first peeped green from the soil.

And some days I can't help but want to ask him... if I was any other woman and we'd met under any other number of circumstances... would he still be talking to me? Would we be friends? More? Less?