#there was a patch of grass right next to the hotel entrance

[daemon-404]

i am once again thinking about the time at a hotel when my mother wouldn't let me take the elevator downstairs (the stairs were emergency-only) to put a dying bug in the grass because the rest of my family wouldn't have lights (the key card was necessary for both) for a maximum of like 7 minutes so i just cried in the hallway

[ashintheairlikesnow]

BTHB: Traumatic Touch Aversion

@comfy-whumpee​ requested “Traumatic Touch Aversion” for Antoni and here it is! Antoni’s first meeting with Nat when he came to stay at her safehouse. Also listing @wildfaewhump​ who loves all things Antoni.

CW: Referenced burns/scarring, touch aversion, conditioning, pet whump reference, box boy, self-injury (reopening wound at the end)

They meet in what was supposed to be a brand new subdivision, back before the recession scattered the developers and contractors to the wind and left this grassy cleared patch of ground just outside the city, complete with poured paved little road and a few poured concrete slab foundations, like grave markers for the homes that were never built here, the people who never had the chance to move in.

A reminder of the world where you can do everything right and the whim of a few individuals, who live so far away from you, can create an avalanche that buries your plans. Nat is old hat at that, of course - she’s buried her plans twice now, and built new ones right on top of the old. She was going to work in journalism, and then she was going to be the best marketing director WRU ever had, and then…

And then she walked away.

Bought a house with some of her inheritance from her dad, fixed it up for a few months, and... started over.

She likes this life just fine, because it leads her here, to places like this, to clandestine meetings after dark.

Nat’s truck is parked in a cul-de-sac that loops around empty grass, where they might have built a playground, if the neighborhood had gone up. Or put in a pool. Ahead of her is the SUV of the man she’s meeting, so far out in the sticks that she doesn’t worry about being seen, not here. Not in the evening light, with the sky burning down to night. 

She hops down from the truck, short and strong, her long brown braid smacking in the middle of her back as she goes, in her signature flannel over a t-shirt and jeans. You look like Kurt Cobain’s mom, Jake had told her once, and she’d pointed out that she’d be Kurt Cobain’s little sister, thank you very much, she was in Driver’s Ed when all that happened, and hadn’t that blown his mind for a while. 

She’s smiling, a little, as the breeze picks up. It’s the time of year when the hottest winds blow, licking through her hair and over her skin. Like living in a kiln. Nat feels like she cracks a little more each year in the heat.

Still can’t give up her flannels, though. She’ll be cold in the ground before she wears anything else, ever again. Flannels and sensible sneakers or work boots, and that’s the farmer in her that just refuses to fade away.

Those years wearing suits and heels, she felt like she was playacting, wearing a costume picked out by someone else that didn’t fit. This is who she is, and she can’t be anything else. She wouldn’t be, not ever again, anyway.

“Evening, Nat,” One of the two men she is here to meet calls out, and she raises a hand in greeting. Paul is in his fifties, ten years or so older than Nat herself. He’s been living the lib life for decades, was the one she used to call fifteen times a week with a thousand crises she didn’t know how to solve. 

Now she’s the one the younger safehouse owners call, and it’s kind of funny… in a lot of ways, 42 still feels like 24 felt, only she’s less confused and gives a lot less of a fuck about fitting in or following the expectations set out for what makes a good life.

The other man standing next to him is younger, and doesn’t look up. That’s the one that Nat is really here to see. That’s the rescued runaway pet she’s here, in the end, to try and save.

Nat moves to the older man without hesitation and crushes him tightly to her in a hug, listening to his deep, rumbling laugh. “Paul! How was the drive? Was it good weather all the way?”

“Long,” Paul answers, sardonic as always, patting her back. “Started out rainy, as Washington likes to be up by the coast, and I don’t think I’ve seen an ounce of precipitation since we stayed overnight at the hotel. You’re starting to sound Californian, you know. That Midwestern accent’s slipping away.”

“After twenty years, you’d think it’d be gone.” She laughs, unbothered. “You’re grayer than last time, too.”

“Look, at my age, you’re just happy the hair is there at all, Nat. Where’s Jake? He didn’t want to ride along this time?”

“Hm? Home with the others. He’s talking about going back to college, and so he needs to study, and then we’ve got this new rescue who’s still healing up from some serious injuries he underwent, so Jake doesn’t want to leave... and I don’t blame him. Our newest rescue’s a flight risk in a big way. He wanted to send his greetings, though.”

“Well, tell him I said hi in return.”

“Will do. I was surprised to hear from you, I didn’t think you did out of state drives anymore.” 

Paul clears his throat. “I don’t. But we’ve got a situation, and we had a donor step in and pay for the gas and hotel money.”

Nat nods, her smile fading and moving back to seriousness, as she looks around Paul at the second man, just younger, standing hunched against the side of the SUV, clutching a single small backpack that hangs off one shoulder. “This is the situation?”

“Yeah.” Paul sighs, rubbing at his face with one hand. “This boy popped up at my door a couple of weeks ago, half-starved and pretty clearly abused, and he’s being strenuously hunted. We’ve had three close calls in a week. I had to make a choice, and… you know, I trust you to keep him safe, and I had to get him out of state, as far as I could go. I hate to uproot him when he hadn’t even settled yet, but…”

“Yeah, no, yeah, I get it. I just had a bed open up, Trevor moved in with some roommates in Nevada, did I tell you? All of them former rescues, too, so he’s got good support right there. There’s a coffeeshop owned by someone whose daughter is in the movement who agreed to train him as a barista.”

“Good, good. Trevor’s a good kid, I liked him. This one…” Paul takes a deep breath. “He’s sweet, Nat. But... he’s scared.”

“They all come to us scared,” Nat says, unbothered, giving a shrug and putting her hands in her pockets. “Any memories?”

“Nope. He’s blank, still. I haven’t… he hasn’t even been with us long enough for therapy. But, here, let me introduce you.” Paul steps back, and the young man with the backpack steps forward. He’s wearing the rescue uniform, more or less - sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt, nearly every ounce of skin covered, only his neck and face visible, the backs of his hands. “He named himself a couple of days ago. This is Antoni.”

He’s like them all, in his way - nervous and wide-eyed, young and beautiful, afraid of her and drawn to her. She can see the signs without even having to consciously notice them - the mop of dark hair in bad need of a good cut, the fear in his eyes, the way he’s skin and bones even underneath the baggy clothes designed to hide a body that didn’t belong to him for too long. 

“Hello, m-ma’am,” The boy says, quietly, his dark, slightly feline eyes flickering from her to Paul, seeking reassurance or praise for making the right choice. 

Nat’s head cocks to the side, and she notes the way the boy flinches a little at the quick movement. He’s a skittish one - that usually means violence was a part of his daily life, and he’ll need to learn how to live without fearing it. “Does he have…”

“An accent? Yeah. Eastern European or Russian or something. Says he only speaks English, but... sometimes he speaks something else. He doesn’t seem to notice when he does it.” Paul turns, and holds out his hand, gesturing the young man forwards. 

Nat watches the boy give a wide berth to Paul’s hand, the way his long fingers clutch more tightly at the backpack strap on one side and the hem of his shirt. He turns to look towards the entrance of the subdivision that never was, watching for cars who might have tracked them, and Nat’s eyes widen - and then she forces her expression back to neutral before the boy can notice - as she sees the bright red, still-healing circular burn on the side of the boy’s neck. “Paul, are we dealing with-”

“Don’t know.” Paul sighs. “Hasn’t even been safe long enough to get a doctor out to give him a checkup. We’ve kept him moving from house to house to house without even taking a deep breath, so… he could use a rest.”

There are deep, deep shadows under the young man’s eyes, settling above his starkly carved cheekbones, and she… she can’t argue with Paul’s assessment. This is a boy who needs a week of sleep, a month of safety, to even begin rebuilding. “Fair enough. You go on ahead, we’ll give it ten or fifteen and then head out.”

“Perfect. I’ll give you a call in a couple days, see how he’s settling in. That sound all right?”

“Works for me.” Natalie watches the new rescue - Antoni - as Paul climbs back into his SUV, turns the key in the ignition, the engine rumbling to nearly-silent life. Antoni doesn’t look back at him like some rescues do, desperate for a final glance. He only steps away, to give the vehicle more space, as Paul gives them one last wave and drives away.

The boy’s expression is unreadable, as Paul’s SUV turns left out of the subdivision, and he disappears into the growing night. She can’t tell if he cares, and she can’t tell if he doesn’t care. There’s nothing in his eyes at all but that same darkness.

Nat sighs. Well, they’ll figure it out as they go, or they won’t. “Okay, Antoni, my name is Natalie Yoder. I’m house mom for a safehouse you’ll be staying in from here on out.”

The boy looks back at her, and his dark eyes are fathomless and deep. “Okay, Natalie Yoder,” He says, and yes, that’s definitely an accent that softens his vowels, changes the consonants a little. She can’t quite name the accent, but… he definitely has one. 

“Call me Nat. I live down in the city-” She gestures behind her, vaguely. “And I’ve got a house there with some others like you, all right? We can keep you safe here. You did the first big thing, you walked away. Now it’s up to us to help you with the rest.” She holds out her hand, and - just as she thought - the young man jerks violently backwards, nearly tripping on himself, his shoulders hunched defensively nearly up to his chin.

Nat lets her hand drop.

“I, I do not… touch,” The young man says, clinging to his backpack strap. Nat lets her hand drop, watching the fear tightening his features, setting his jaw to trembling, flashing a hint of his teeth. “Please, please, I do not-... I do not touch.”

Nat puts both hands up in an I’m innocent gesture, taking one step back and then another, giving him some space to get around her. “That’s okay. You don’t have to, not with me and not at the house, not at all.”

The boy stares at her, and the sun is setting rapidly this far up in the hills, taking the hint of golden light that falls across his face and dimming it. “Please,” He whispers, and the sound barely carries to her. “Please, I, I cannot-... please-”

“That’s just fine,” Nat says, pitching her own voice lower, soothing. “You’re still fine, Antoni.” When he doesn’t relax, Nat swallows against her own reflexive distaste and adds, “You’re still a good boy.”

There it is. His shoulders relax, and he lets out a breath, an audible exhale, stepping a little closer to her. “I am? If I do not touch, still?”

Nat presses her lips together, wondering if Paul’s report that this new rescue was a Domestic holds water at all. Not that designations mean shit to people with no empathy and total control over another human being… “Yes, Antoni. You’re still good. Let’s get in the truck and head back, yeah? Can you get in the truck for me? I’ll stay right here.”

Simple, easy directions, and a safe distance. Antoni moves around her to the passenger side of the truck, and she gives him the time he needs, pulling her phone out from her back pocket to text Jake that the new rescue is here, and she’ll be heading home with him shortly.

Cool ok, comes Jake’s fast reply. Kauri’s a mess. Fever’s up and he took all his clothes off and got in bed.

Please don’t tell me your bed.

What do you think? He’s back on the couch and dressed though. I gave him something for the fever. Call Masood in the morning? This shit isn’t strong enough.

Nat knows how that feels.

By the time she gets into the driver’s seat, Antoni has himself settled, seatbelt buckled, hands in his lap, and… his backpack is firmly stuck between the two of them, right in the center of the seat, a slight barrier but a barrier nonetheless. 

He’s only been out for two weeks. He probably has some toiletries and a change of clothes or two in there, and that’s it. Maybe a book if he was allowed to remember how to read. But any way of giving himself space is better than no space at all.

When she reaches down to shift gears, Antoni flinches away, pressing himself to the inside of the door, his dark eyes locked on her hand.

“It’s a stick shift,” Nat says, softly. “I’m going to do this a lot. I’m not trying to touch you.”

His eyes move, reluctantly, from her hand to her face. “Please,” He says, and his voice is soft, and perfectly pitched. He’s been trained to beg, Nat thinks - she’s seen that before. She’s heard this voice before. “Please, please do not touch me. I will be good, whatever you need, just… do not touch.”

Nat takes a deep breath and rests her foot on the gas, cautiously moving out of the cul-de-sac and back onto the road, leaving the subdivision that never was, with its overgrown grass and brambles and the hot autumn winds blowing hard enough to rattle the dried-out leaves in the trees, behind. 

One new rescue, still sick from an infected wound, who can’t stop trying to touch everything that moves and has tried to talk Jake into bed at least three times - and one new rescue with an unmistakable cigarette burn on his neck who is so scared of being touched he starts begging before Nat can even get him home.

“This should be fun,” She mutters, not aware she’s even spoken aloud.

I am sorry. Antoni mouths the words, but Nat isn’t looking at him, and she doesn’t see him do it. As they drive down the hills towards the city, with its twinkling lights, he watches out the window, looking he hopes towards the north, wondering if he can ever apologize enough to earn forgiveness for the choice he made to leave the woman behind and run.

His right hand moves, pressing into his left arm, rubbing his thumb again and again over a certain spot just inside his wrist, rubbing right through the ribbed knit of the cuff of his sleeve, pressing and pressing and pressing until he feels the healing burn break open again, the bright flash of pain.

He relaxes a little, eyes closing, leaning heavily against the door as Nat turns on the radio and grumbles about what counts as classic rock now. 

It’s not that the ashtray, who has chosen the name Antoni, hates being touched.

It’s that he doesn’t deserve touch that doesn’t hurt.

---

Tagging @astrobly​, @finder-of-rings​, @burtlederp​ @slaintetowhump​ @moose-teeth​ @dhiabori @oofowouchies @doveotions​

[endlessvoidsnkittens]

Louder Than Life

(Better late than never, right?)

So. Louder Than Life. I went to it. On Sunday, September 26th. To mainly see Metallica.

Let’s start at the beginning.

My friend dropped me off at the hotel to meet @kangamommynow. There was more than one vehicle from her state, however it was soon clear which one was hers. Very clear. Left no question than the other one was NOT hers. It was amusing. Anyway.

So we drove to the festival grounds. Fairly painless, at least I thought. I was in the passenger’s seat so she may feel differently, lol. Fortunately I live here so I was able to supplement the GPS. We had to park a billion miles away from where the festival actually happened. Okay, not a billion, but it was a hell of a walk, especially with a rolled ankle and a craptastic body. But anyway...

They checked our vaccine stuff. We got wristbands. We moved on. Found the VIP entrance. I had to go through one marked ADA because of my cane, which I found a little odd / confusing. It was hard to understand the verbal directions. But we made it in. Checked in at the ADA booth so we could get our ADA wristbands and moved on.

I wanted to get some Blackened whiskey, so we went to that booth first. It’s 5pm somewhere, right? I got a Blackened and ginger ale. It tasted pretty watered down, so my opinion on the whiskey is rather incomplete. Doubt I’m gonna ever spring for a whole bottle though. Then we found a patch of grass and hung out for a while and listened to The Hu when they came on.

Y’all. @kangamommynow is like, the best. I was afraid of not vibing well in person coz...idk, that’s just how I roll, right? But nah. We vibed well, at least I thought. She’s so sweet and funny.

(this is getting long. sorry not sorry.)

I had to pee so we went to check out the VIP section because they were supposed to have air-conditioned toilets. They did not feel air-conditioned. Also all the seats in the VIP section were taken by other VIP people. Did find some gluten-free food in there though. Honey Sriracha rice or something. It was pretty good, but a small portion for the cost. (Typical festival business.)

I wanted to see Every Time I Die so we headed over to the other stage where they were performing and pulled up a patch of grass again. I wasn’t really that impressed with them live. Sorry, guys. I’ll stick to listening to you all on Spotify. Fortunately Sabaton was next on our list to see and they were on the same stage. I wanted to see what the ADA seating was all about, so we went to the ADA platform. I just showed my wristband and up the ramp we went. Got to sit in folding chairs and watch the show. The distance wasn’t too bad. It was nice to sit in a chair although even that hurt after a while. Sabaton was SO GOOD. They should’ve had a higher priority slot. If they come to the area again I will definitely be going to see them.

After Sabaton, we went to get more food. This time I got a giant-ass turkey leg and fries that my ex had told me about. (He was there too.) It was $20 but if I ever post the pic of the turkey leg you’d kinda understand. It was almost reasonable. I couldn’t figure out how to eat it. @kangamommynow was highly amused by me and I think another couple sitting not too far away from us was too.

(trying to wrap this up. sorry for those of you on mobile, haha.)

Judas Priest was on before Metallica so we went to go see them and also claim a spot. We tried the ADA platform for that stage but it was full. They suggested trying again later to see if there’d been any rotation. Thought it was kinda shitty there wasn’t enough ADA room but anyway I was like I’ll be fine, I’ve got my cane. (Famous last words, right?) Didn’t get to pay attention to much of Priest coz A.) couldn’t see them coz they were on the opposite stage from where we were standing and B.) we were trying to hold our ground but they sounded good.

More and more people started filling in for Metallica. More and more tall people started filling in for Metallica. I’m 5′4″. @kangamommynow is shorter than I am. It got to where we couldn’t even see the video screens. We decided to try to move to the back to see if we could get a better spot. We did. Kinda. We were able to see the video screens at least. I made it through I think 3-4 songs before the pain was too much. I asked if we could go check the ADA platform. So we very carefully made our way through the crowd over there. (It wasn’t easy.) The platform was full but the guy let me lean on the railing. That helped a little bit but not much.

As I stood there, I noticed people were leaving the platform and nobody was going back on. I was just trying to mind my own business and ignore my pain and enjoy the concert so I didn’t think about it too hard. Apparently @kangamommynow noticed it too and did think about it because she went up to the guy and asked if he could check for an empty seat for me. He found one. So I got to enjoy about half the concert. I felt bad that we had to be separated but she was more concerned about me having a good time because she had already seen Metallica before. Metallica sounded great. And they looked great on the video screens. But they were about as big as ants from the platform. Wasn’t nearly as close to the stage as the other stage and platform.

So, with my body broken, I was able to say I had seen Metallica. Kinda. Then we had to make the long and arduous trek back to the car. I was waddling by the time we got to it because my pain was so bad. Did you know they had ADA shuttles? We didn’t either, until we were already halfway to the car.

So, the company was excellent. The organization left some to be desired. If I go to see Metallica again I would prefer it to be somewhere with assigned seating and then I can pay out the ass to have a close seat where I can also sit down if need be. My ex added me to a group on Facebook about Louder than Life and their ADA facilities. I have yet to post there. He said that ADA has always had issues since the beginning of the festival.

[otverzhennyy]

VIKTOR’S EVERYDAY ROUTINE.

As a diplomatic assistant, Viktor has a relatively stable schedule. Thursday happens to be his off-day. If he had been doing very long shift or overtime for a significant period of time, he might be given two or three days off said week, but then none for the next one… because he said so and is, honestly, basically his own boss as no one really keeps an eye on him. His schedule is mostly self-managed as his superiors only care about him producing reports.

4:10 AM - Viktor wakes up in his room at the Goth Grand Hotel. He and the other Fatui agents sleep in the same aisle, while the higher up are in the luxury suite one which is barred off.

Viktor enjoys jogging starting from the Northern Gate of Mondstadt right next to the Reputation Board as he watches the sun rise while running on the coast of Cider Lake and into the Whispering Woods.

He makes sure to go out in-between guarding shifts so he doesn’t have to deal with the Knights staring at him, but it is not like he particularly hide his activities. Arriving at the small, deserted fishing port, Viktor will then proceed to go through his exercising routine, using trees and terrain if he is not doing ground exercises. He will then proceed to use a tree or abandoned hilichurl dummy to practice his martial skills, with or without weapons.

Viktor will then enjoy swimming Cider or Starfall Lake. The crisp air and fresh water being comforting to him from how stuffy he feels inside the hotel and at his post. He will, at time, reach for the farther islands in the lake, whether he decided to swim for a longer time or simply because it is his time off, given he greatly enjoys the sport.

6:00 AM - Viktor should be back in Mondstadt where he will shower and put on fresh clothes and go to the hotel restaurant to eat with his comrades.

6:15 AM - By then, Viktor should have finished eating his breakfast going up the stairs of Mondstadt towards the church (he do be taking his sweet time, before reaching his usual post). He is only seen outside at one of the stone porch near the entrance when the weather is out and the church doors are left open for ventilation.

Viktor enjoys getting up so early and have his training done as soon as possible, simply due to the energy it gives him for the rest of the day, being a morning person and the cold of the air and water reminds him of the warm summer in Snezhnaya. He finds it comforting, especially when feeling homesick.

He is used to this routine, and has done well for him. The totally silent moments of tranquil solitude while he prepares for his day helps him prepare for the noise to come. The same reasons could also be applied as to why he enjoys swimming.

11:00 AM - Viktor goes back to the Hotel or send someone to Good Hunter to bring him lunch.

2:30PM or 6:00PM - Viktor may stay extended amount of time if activities are bustling in the church. Despite being most of the time at his post, he does have two 15 minutes breaks where he will most likely nap on a patch of grass outside… and maybe take a little bit more time than that, as his responsibilities are clearly not needed : he has been given no clear directions nor important to his current disposition. He is, after all, a forgotten grunt who is victim of a working system, where his superior doesn’t care about her men’s comfort (as he says directly he’d prefer to be under Capitano). It is possible, also that Viktor leaves the church at 2:30PM, and does other assignments for the Fatui around the region until it is done, at a maximum of 6:00PM. He usually does grunt work where communication of a diplomat is needed, but not so important you’d need someone who is not the assistant of an actual diplomat. Such as talking to the Acting Grandmaster on the behalf of the local Fatui, make reservations to local merchants for either the high placed people at the hotel or his stationed fellows.

6:30PM - Viktor can be found eating right outside the Goth Grand Hotel, as he usually prefers to take in fresh air. He is usually found alone on a bench, although he can be seen with a few people at times. He will most likely fall asleep right after either on the grass or on a bench after his meal.

Afterwards, Viktor has free time until he goes to bed. He will usually spend it in his hotel room as he doesn’t particularly enjoy mixing in the locals more than needed. If he wishes to drink, he most likely go through the hotel staff or go to Angel’s Share (if he can’t find any errand boy to do it for himself) himself to order two bottles and drink at the hotel with his colleagues.

Viktor is actually not a drinker. He will, at most drink once a month, twice if a diplomatic situation would turn out better if he partook in drinking without asking for something without alcohol. He does have after work drinks, but his are usually something akin to flavored carbonated water.

9:40PM - Is usually Viktor’s bedtime. He can stretch it to 10:30PM if something particular arises.

[calumrose]

Trigger [Police/Gang!AU] Chapter 7 || C.H

A//N: I feel like I haven’t updated in so long when in reality it’s only been 3 days. I’ve got so many WIPs right now, and I am so excited to post more! So keep an eye out for those! But yes, here is chapter 7 for all you lovely people! Thank you to everyone who has been reading this so far, I really appreciate it! 

Word Count: 11.6k

Summary: Eloise Gray and Calum Hood, not two people you would ever think to put together. What started as a ploy for power turned into a romance, resulting in the realisation that loving your enemy may not be such a bad thing after all.

Previous Chapters: Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6

12 Days Left

The constant honking of traffic, the incoherent chatter of bystanders, and the smell of excess petrol had become comforting to Eloise over the years. It was the natural scent of the city she resided in; the smell always so unbearably strong that it practically embedded itself in the noses of the visitors the city welcomed every day. And as much as Eloise wanted to escape and explore new places, she knew it would be a smell she would miss, even if only a little.

Central Park had only ever been a place she visited with friends, typically because the likes of Paige and Jackson lived in that side of New York, it being quite literally on their doorstep, unlike the rest of them who had to travel in order to visit the well-known location.

“Fancy a trip to the zoo?” Calum’s question caused her eyes to break from the sight of the busker to her left as they entered the park. She looked in the direction of where his eyes fell, looking towards the zoo entrance in all its glory along with the crowded queue that was almost painful to think about.

“Maybe another time,” She chuckled, not really in the mood to stand in a queue for god knows how long and pay a ridiculous price just to look at animals for a few hours, “Why don’t we just find a place to sit and have a conversation like normal people?”

“Normal people?” Calum’s tone held fake surprise, “You mean to tell me that you, Eloise, want to have an actual conversation with me?”

“Shocking stuff I know, now c’mon,” She responded with the same joking attitude, nudging the back of his arm as they continued to walk through the park. It was a sight that never failed to relax her, the greenery and gentle atmosphere being enough to temporarily transport her to a state of believing she had no worries, like she had nothing to be afraid of.

The past week with Calum had been nothing like she had experienced before. It felt good to know she had a safe space other than her own apartment although she had begun to feel unsafe in her own home, fearing that an unwelcome individual would burst through her door at any given moment after discovering her little secret. But in Calum’s home, she felt like she could live, breathe, and embrace every moment that she felt her heartbeat in her chest.

Seven days felt like seven months when they would lay together in his bed, fingers interlaced as she would trace his tattoos that were painted on his brown skin. She’d ask a million questions about them, wanting to know every story behind each individual piece of art that littered his body. She had learnt the story of how the initials on each hand were for his parents, the name on his left forearm was his sister, how the thistle on his bicep was a homage to his Scottish heritage, and how the Roman numerals on his collarbone represented a year that his life changed. There were so many stories he had shared that she felt as though she wouldn’t remember them, but she found herself being able to recall every single one each time her eyes caught sight of the ink.

Late night conversations were full of questions about their pasts, asking about their childhoods and about stupid things they could recall from simpler times. Calum was a lot more open about his own memories than Eloise was, many of her own recollections being forgotten with purpose. She didn’t know if she was ready to dig them all back up just yet, and Calum respected that.

Early morning rises would be filled with the smell of coffee and fruity essences from the yoghurt Calum had added to his shopping list after learning of Eloise’s love for the strawberry flavour. He learnt of her tendencies of waking up in the unsociable hours of the morning, her body clock naturally seeming to have shifted since she started staying at his place on a more regular occasion. Before, she was lucky if she could sleep past 10am, now it was 7am. Calum often woke up and found her in the kitchen, legs crossed as she sat up on the countertop by the window, staring out into the city as the sun rose up, a bowl of yoghurt and chopped fruit in her lap as she enjoyed the peaceful silence of the morning. He never disturbed her when she was in that state, his body just standing in opening of the hallway, dark eyes on her that were filled with nothing but admiration.

He had come to learn that she was very appreciative of the small moments that she got to experience, figuring that a lot of that was due to the great deal of loss she had suffered over the years; wanting to absorb everything she felt as though she took for granted, like the sunrise; a beautiful sight that only a lucky few got a chance to see in all its glory.

An open patch of grass caught Eloise’s attention, her fingers gripping onto the fabric of the sleeve of his empathy hoodie, subtly dragging him along so she could claim the empty space before any other civilian who was found at the park.

“El, babe, slow down,” The nickname fell from Calum’s lips like butter, as if it were always supposed to. He had dropped pet names like those a few times throughout their time together, and she wondered if he truly noticed how often he let them slip. They were natural to him, feeling as though there was no other name that he knew for her other than what he felt suited her so perfectly. Eloise could swear her stomach flipped every time a simple nickname fell from his soft lips, assuring her that she wanted nothing else than to hear them a thousand times over.

“You’re the one who dragged me outside, so we’ll do things at my pace, that’s the deal,” She smirked to herself as she adjusted her jeans slightly before sitting down at the dry grass.

“Since when did I agree to that?” He raised a questioning brow, the slight upturn of his lip’s inkling on a borderline smirk. That smirk would get him in trouble one day, Eloise could sense it.

The sun beat down on the city of New York, speckles of gold seeping through the gaps in the tree branches as it painted the park with strips of yellow. It created a sight that Eloise could only wish she could see every day; the sight of Calum sat there with the sun beating down, the bright rays only bringing out how golden he truly was, as if gold met gold in the moment the sun connected with him.

Brown eyes cascaded over the park around them, Eloise’s gaze settling on a young girl who sat a few metres from them. She watched as the young blonde’s hand worked against the sketchpad in her lap, eyes flickering up to glance at the grand building that towered over the park. Eloise felt her back straighten almost inquisitively, her head tilting slightly to side as if to try and get a better view of the pad.

“What’s she drawing?” Calum asked, leaning back against his hands to keep himself up, eyes watching Eloise’s curiosity get the better of her. He had noted that she was a curious person, always watching what people were doing, always noticing people who were so submerged in their own world, especially those of the artistic mind. She seemed to have an eye for it.

Eloise watched as the pencil in her hand glided along the paper, imagining she could hear the soft strokes of graphite against the white paper as if she were sitting right next to her. She had a lot of respect for art, it always blowing her mind how someone could create something so beautiful with their own hands. She let her brown eyes look back to Calum, noticing how his eyes were sat on her own, admiring the interest she had shown in the stranger’s talent, before she responded with a smile, “I think she’s drawing the top of The Plaza, because if you look just over there,” She pointed in the direction of where the girl had been looking, “You can see the top of the hotel over the trees.”

“You seem to notice a lot of artistic people in the city for someone who doesn’t hold an artistic bone in her body,” Calum chuckled, remembering how they had discussed previously Eloise’s admiration for art but never having the ability to create any herself. He pulled his arm close to his chest in attempt to avoid her hand as it tried to smack him, his nose scrunching just a little as the smile on his face grew. “Did you ever have any hobbies when you were a teenager? Or anything that stuck and grew into a passion?”

Eloise shook her head, wrapping an arm around her right knee as it bent so she could keep it close to her chest as she responded, “I was that kid who always tried to find a hobby but gave up within a few minutes because it wasn’t as straight forward as I wanted it to be, and I also had zero patience.” Her free hand reached up to pull down the sunglasses that were resting on her head, setting them against the bridge of her nose so they shielded her eyes from the sun as the bright glare shifted direction in the sky.

“Ah, so you were one of those kids,” Calum spoke as if it all suddenly made sense, resulting in another playful smack against his arm from Eloise. She had definitely met her match when it came to teasing people, “And yet there’s still so much for me to learn,”

“About?” Eloise quirked a brow, reaching around her back to pull down the back of her shirt, the cool breeze against her spine signalling that the shirt had begun to ride up.

“You,” Calum sat upright, reaching down between his legs as he plucked a few blades of grass from the ground, eyes watching his hands before he reconnected them with Eloise’s own dark ones, “I’ve got an idea; quick-fire quiz with random questions about you, you have one pass and you’ve got to answer everything, got it?”

“Why do I feel like I’m going to regret agreeing to this stupid game?” A playful roll of her eyes were given as she shifted her body weight, turning to her left so she could face him head on, “Right, go ahead then if you must.”

Calum parted his lips slightly as he looked up in thought. He hadn’t even considered making up any questions to ask, not quite expecting her to give in that easily. Who was he kidding? She gave into almost anything he asked, he knew that, so he should have been more prepared. The hamster wheel in his brain seemed to run for a few seconds before a thought came into his head. Thank god for that.

“First question, your favourite subject in school?” He raised an eyebrow, throwing a finger in her direction as he pointed at her, awaiting her answer.

Eloise pursed her lips as she thought for a moment. Come on El, this whole point of quick-fire questions is that it’s supposed to be quick. She tapped her fingers against her thigh for a few seconds before giving an unsure answer of, “I’d probably say English even though I was awful at it, Maths was more of my strong suit but I wouldn’t say I loved it,” She threw a shrug of her shoulders at Calum, “Next question.”

“Favourite colour?”

“Easy, it’s probably red.”

“I have never seen you wear the colour red,” Calum commented, his teeth brushing against his bottom lip as he highlighted the third word, “You barely wear anything other than black or grey, babe. So, for that reason I am calling bullshit.”

“And how would you know? What if I’m wearing red underwear?” Eloise couldn’t stop teasing smirk, a coy pout playing on her lips as she saw his eyebrows raise at her remark. She knew that he was fully aware of what colour her underwear was, as he was the one who had enjoyed the task of removing it from her hands before she had the chance to get dressed this morning, before pulling her into the bathroom for a morning of strenuous activities.

She swore she could see the events of their morning playing in his mind, watching as his jaw worked while her comment echoed in his ears. She loved watching how flustered he got in moments like that; moments where a certain tone, or a sudden string of words had him silenced.

“Favourite artist?” His voice sounded raspy; he hadn’t cleared his throat before he spoke. Eloise’s tongue poked the inside of her cheek, noting how he tried to brush over what she had said, fighting the urge to poke fun at the avoidance, knowing full well that what she had said had taken its effect on him.

“Oh that’s a tough choice,” She pursed her lips, a little smug due to knowing what he focusing on right then, she swore she could hear the little voice in his head as it shouted at him to think of something else, “It’s got to be either Mayday Parade or The Maine.”

“Good choice,” He nodded, coughing into his fist as a way of attempting to rid the scratch in his throat. Calum could barely hold himself together and Eloise knew what hold she had over him.

Both knees were pulled to Eloise’s chest, her arms resting on top before she placed her chin down to settle against her forearms, brown eyes looking up at the handsome man she found herself with. She always thought about what they were, if they had a specific title for what they had going on. Did she even want to put a label on what they had? Was there a point in labelling it? It was still something she was trying to figure out; how quickly she felt so normal with Calum, how suddenly everything just seemed like it fit into place as if it had always been that way.

Calum and Eloise had talked briefly about what they were. Calum never rushed her into deciding what she wanted, assuring that he would go with what she felt comfortable with and what she felt ready for. Calum knew he wanted no one else, only having eyes for the girl who had his heart in her hands. He felt vulnerable around her, as if she could shatter his heart within seconds. And unfortunately, there was truth in that concern, as was there with Eloise’s matching one in regard to him. They both held such a strong connection that could be turned and used against them in the press of a button.

The only thing Eloise was sure of was that Calum was everything she had been looking for without even knowing it. He was all she could have wanted in someone; gentle, caring, understanding, forgiving, and so much more that she couldn’t put into words. She had admitted that to him a few mornings ago when they were lying in his bed together, limbs tangled within the sheets, her fingers combing through his hair as they stared at one another. Calum voiced his understanding over her concern for how she felt, suggesting they just say that they’re exclusive with one another, keeping it private, but known to each other that there was no one else in the picture, only the two of them who had eyes for the other.

The little pet names seemed to fall into habit rather quickly after that conversation, the next morning being the first time Calum dropped one in the moment, yawning before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek before climbing out of the entangled sheets to make his way into the bathroom to get himself ready for work. Eloise had let it slide at first, assuming it was just a slip of the tongue, but then they grew to be more regular, and she couldn’t deny that they didn’t not get her heart going.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Calum spoke up after a few minutes, “My ass is getting numb sitting here.” Eloise looked up to find him standing already, hand reached out for her to grab onto.

“We’ve been sitting for barely twenty minutes and you’re already complaining,” She scoffed, a gently chuckle being sounded as she reached up and grabbed onto his hand. She couldn’t hold back the soft grunt she let out as she let him pull her to her feet, focusing on the warmth of his hand that held onto hers. She noted how he didn’t let go, adjusting his fingers so they slipped in between her own, his hand practically enveloping hers in warmth as they moved back onto the path that led through Central Park.

Calum’s hand was so much larger than hers, she couldn’t help but notice the difference every time he held her hand, the size almost laughable. Eloise cursed at herself at the way butterflies erupted in her stomach at his touch, the smooth skin of his palm against hers being enough to make her feel like she was walking on sunshine. It was almost sickening how much she had grown to love the feeling of his skin on hers in more ways than one.

“What time’s your shift tomorrow?” Eloise spoke softly as they walked, eyes glancing down at their hands swinging gently between their bodies meanwhile their feet walked at different times, her long legs surprisingly unable to keep up with his timely long strides. For a taller girl, she could never walk quickly, not with Calum anyway.

“I start at eight tomorrow,” He responded, eyes catching the small family picnic that was going on just to their right, the corners of his mouth turning up at the thought of that possibility in his future. He had always been a family man, it only setting him up to be ready to eventually have one of his own with someone he loved, someone he could settle down and have a life with. “So, I was thinking, I’d give you a lift home tomorrow morning before I go to work if you need to grab some clean clothes and stuff, and then I could pick you up once I’m finished, take you back to my place and we could do something,”

Eloise’s eyes followed in the direction of where he had turned his head briefly, eyes falling on the young couple who sat with a child, he looked to be around four, as they laughed and smiled together. The open picnic basket was self-explanatory to Eloise, causing a cold shiver to run up her spine at the inkling of a memory she didn’t even know existed. She pulled her attention back up to Calum, hoping he didn’t notice her subtle shudder. “I was thinking I might stay at my place tonight for a change, my neighbours are gonna start being suspicious if they don’t hear me stumbling up my stairs at the crack of dawn soon,” She chuckled, squeezing his hand reassuringly, “It also means Duke can actually get some space in the bed for first time in a while, but I’ll come and see you tomorrow after your shift,”

“Duke’s gonna be upset that you’re leaving him in the house alone,” Calum pointed out, “I think he’s gotten quite fond of you sticking around during the day while I’m workin’, means he’s not on his own all day.” Eloise knew what he was doing; trying to subtly use Duke as a way of persuading – guilt tripping – her into staying at his place for another night. But Eloise knew she had to play this right, she had to go home at some point, she would have to submit herself to the clutches of the Gypsy Kings once again soon enough.

“And you can tell him that I’m very sorry but I have to,” She pouted her lips, leaning into Calum a little as they walked, “Or to make it up to him, I’ll make sure I bring a treat with me when I come back.”

“So, you’re going to bribe my dog?” He furrowed his brows down at her, glaring playfully at the brunette. Eloise puffed her cheeks briefly, eyes shifting out of Calum’s gaze as she focused on the floor for a second.

“Well, it’s the only way I can make sure that he’ll forgive me when I come back,”

“And what about me?” Calum tugged on her hand and pulled her to a stop, moving them out of the way on the path so they weren’t in anyone’s way. His eyebrows raised questioningly, a knowing smirk on his face as his spare hand found her waist, slipping beneath her jacket so he could feel the fabric of her oversized t-shirt beneath his fingers, voice barely above a gravelled whisper when he spoke, “How’re you gonna make sure that I forgive you for leaving me?”

“I’m sure a grown man like yourself can work out a few ways I can ask for your forgiveness,” She winked, giggling softly at the expression that sank onto Calum’s face, his head falling onto her shoulder as he let out a barely audible groan, although it was loud and clear in Eloise’s ears.

“I swear for the love of god,” Calum groaned out, grip tightening around Eloise’s waist as the hand that held hers awkwardly bent as he attempted to raise it. Eloise’s giggle echoed in his ears, the sound highlighting her awareness of how her words had affected him in public yet again. He was weak when it came to that girl, and it was as if she knew exactly how to play to his weakness, using it against him in a poorly timed place. “You’re cruel, and the fact that you’re not even coming back to my place tonight only proves my point,”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to amuse yourself without me,” She whispered, leaning her head so it rested against his on her shoulder, a soft smile creasing her lips as she stood like that for a minute. She wished she could pause time right there and take a picture from someone else’s point of view, to see them together. She tilted her head slightly, pressing a feather like kiss to the side of his head before she softly spoke, “Now c’mon, I’ll buy you a- Scott?”

Calum’s head shot up at her words, forehead creased as his brows furrowed, “You’ll buy me a Scott?”

Eloise didn’t even register his response, eyes looking over in the distance to where a scattering of people walked through the park. Her dark eyes spotted the familiar man in the distance, able to pick out his soft curls from anywhere as well as his particular walk.

“Wait here,” She told Calum, softly releasing his hand from hers and before she could even hear him respond she was running down the path towards the familiar body who had his back to her.

Calum stood there in place, watching as Eloise’s figure shrunk as she ran further into the distance, arms crossing against his chest as he moved along the path a little bit and found a tree to lean against. He pulled out his phone, trying to occupy himself as he waited for Eloise to come back, eyes shifting every few seconds between the screen in his hand to the pretty brunette as she attempted to catch up to her friend. He couldn’t help but feel protective, wanting to make sure she was alright at all times.

Eloise felt her chest get heavy as she ran down the path, a few eyes watching her as she ran past numerous runners; their eyes obviously judging her choice of attire for what they most likely assumed to be an afternoon run. Her eyes closed in on the familiar golden locks of her best friend, his leather jacket shining against the sun.

She reached her hand out as she caught up with him, panting lightly as she called out, “Oi Erikson, do I not even get a hello anymore?” Scott’s expression seemed almost dumbfounded when he turned around, his face relaxing when he registered her voice and saw the one and only Eloise stood behind him, hands resting on the caps of her knees as she caught her breath, bending slightly as she felt her heart hammer faintly against her chest before she could bring herself to stand upright, breath returning to normal after a few seconds passed.

“You’re seriously out of shape,” Scott scoffed, laughing at his best friend’s poor attempt at hiding her heavy breaths as she stood up. Eloise reached out and shoved his shoulder lightly, sending him a warning glare as she straightened up, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets, and stood comfortably.

“Shut up, I’m in better shape than most of that lot,” She laughed, jutting her chin out in the direction of the park, directing her comment towards the others within the gang. Both of them knew which members she was silently talking about, a joint laugh escaping them both at the inside knowledge. “What’re you doing here anyway, last time I checked Central Park is a bit far out of Brooklyn, especially for the likes of you, Scott?”

Scott chuckled at her comment, almost nervously, as he raised his shoulders in a half-shrug, “Suppose I could say the same for you, you’re a bit far out of Brooklyn yourself,” Eloise couldn’t help but notice how his eyes were shifting, as if he were searching for someone or keeping an eye out. He seemed antsy, not an unusual occurrence when it came to Scott being this far out Brooklyn. “How’ve you been anyway? How’re things comin’ along with your cop friend?”

Eloise let out a quiet sigh, shifting her weight to her other foot as she answered, “I should be asking you how you are, you’ve hardly answered your phone and you seem to be ignoring my texts. Am I too lame to talk to now?” She scoffs jokingly at him, chewing the inside of her cheek as she continues, “I’m working on him, I’ve got some information that’ll be useful for Jay to know. I’ve also set up a few decoy details for him to take back to his precinct, so give me a few more days and we’ll be ready to go,”

Scott nods, taking in the words that Eloise had practically spoon fed him. She prayed he couldn’t see through it, praying that for a man she believed to know her so well, that he couldn’t see right through the lies she had just fed to him. She knew he would take her words back to Jay, informing him of the ‘work’ she had done. Scott’s eyes travelled behind Eloise, she had noticed he had done that a few times already, wondering what he was looking at.

“Take it, that’s him?” He jutted out his chin in the direction of the park behind her, eyes finding the dark ones of Calum who kept his gaze firmly planted on Eloise’s back, “Either that’s your copper or some big creepy dude has been staring at your ass for the past five minutes, and my money is the former.”

Eloise rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she glanced behind her, brown eyes finding Calum’s. She smiled softly at him, offering him a small wave as a silent act of reassurance that she was alright. She noted how his shoulders seemed to relax a little at her action, the muscles sinking as his eyes never left her, “Yeah, that’s Calum.”

“So, you gonna let me meet the guy who you’ve been spending all of your time with or are you going to keep me in suspense?” Scott raised an eyebrow, lips parting briefly as he glanced in Calum’s direction. Eloise thanked the sun for her helping her hide her flushed cheeks, making her cheeks and nose almost rosy at the thought of Calum and Scott meeting, the thought making her feel like someone had just dropped a lead weight in her stomach. Eloise couldn’t help but feel as though she was in a catch 22; stuck between her best friend who believed she was acting one way, and Calum who knew her to be acting in the opposite.

But that didn’t stop her from nodding, feeling Scott’s arm slip around her shoulders as they began to make their way to where Calum stood. “Be nice,” Eloise warned through gritted teeth as they closed in on the tree that Calum stood under. The air felt as though it thickened with the closer that they got, Eloise’s chest tightening as she tried to fight the feeling of anxiety that she could feel bubbling up inside of her.

Calum straightened up, sliding his phone back into the pocket of his jeans and walked over and met them halfway, a friendly smile on his face as he met Eloise’s uneasy eyes, noting how uncomfortable she must have been at the thought of Calum meeting her brother by association.

Eloise forced the discomfort in her stomach down, trying to ignore it as she stood with Scott by her side, arm still around her shoulders as he looked towards Calum, a rather unimpressed look on his face. She let out a small cough, clearing her throat, as she introduced them, “Scott, this is Calum, Calum, this is my best friend Scott,” She felt as though she wanted the world to swallow her whole as she felt Scott’s grip tighten ever so slightly around her, a natural tension he had around those he didn’t know and didn’t trust.

“It’s nice to meet you, mate,” Calum sent him a gentle singular nod of his head, a warm smile on his face as he reached out his hand for Scott to shake, “El’s told me a lot about you, you sound like a very important man.”

Eloise sent him a glance, silently thanking him for trying to play it cool, for being nice towards Scott even though the reaction he was receiving from the blond was anything but. Her eyes fell to Scott, sending a subtle kick to the back of his ankle as if to silently say, ‘Just shake his hand.’

Scott sighed as he reached out his hand, grasping Calum’s in his grip as they shook, a dry laugh coming from his throat as he tried not to roll his eyes. “That’s quite a strong grip you’ve got there,” Eloise couldn’t help it as she rolled her eyes at Scott’s remark, silently praying he would drop the act and just be like the Scott she knew, that he would act like her best friend.

“Comes with the territory.” The response was quick to come from Calum, it being instant much like the forced smile on his lips. Eloise knew he would be silently making his job known to Scott, even though he wasn’t trying to rupture Scott, she couldn’t help but want to move things along, trying to cut the interaction as short as possible to spare any unnecessary tension.

It’s not like there wasn’t plenty of it already.

“I was gonna suggest to Calum that we go and grab a hot dog if you wanted to join us?” Eloise offered, head nodding towards the exit of the park, the memory of the brightly coloured food cart outside the gates making her mouth water at the thought. “It’ll be my treat.”

Scott shook his head practically as soon as Eloise let the words slip from her mouth, hand coming up and shaking alongside his head, “I can’t stay long, I’ve got somewhere to be. I just wanted to come by and say hi,”

The awkward silence is almost painful. Cursing herself, Eloise wished she never agreed to letting Scott come over. She wished she had just said something along of the lines of how she’d rather keep them separate to save questions but of course she didn’t think this through. Nice one, Eloise.

She was about to open her mouth to speak, her brain scrambling as it attempted to create a sentence for her to use in order to break the silence before Calum beat her to it.

“So, how long have you known Eloise?” Calum asked, adjusting his stance as an attempt to be perceived as more friendly, trying to cut the clear tension that clouded them, hand resting over the outline of his phone in his pocket.

Eloise didn’t need to see the shift in Scott’s eyes as they fell to her, she could feel the burn in the side of her head along with the way his arm moved, it dropping from around her and returning back to his side, hand sliding back into its home inside his pocket. Eloise wanted to curse herself, knowing she should’ve warned Calum about one thing, but of course she didn’t think. She could only hope this helped her out, that Scott took it as a sign that things were working, that she was invested in the way she needed them to believe, that she was capturing Calum’s attention like they had intended. She just hoped that it wasn’t seen for what it really was.

She needed to slow down; she knew that she was getting too far ahead of herself. Scott was smart, but he wasn’t that smart.

“Too long,” Her voice muttered, a gentle smirk playing her lips as she glanced at Scott, playfully nudging him with her hip to try and go along with the friendly interaction.

“Uh yeah, we’ve been best mates since we were kids. The both of us went through some rough stuff growing up and we’ve stuck together ever since,” Scott nodded, throwing a casual shrug of shoulders into the mix with his response, “I just can’t seem to shake her off.”

“Fuck off,” Eloise laughed, raising a knowing brow, “You’d be lost with me or dead even. I have saved your life more times than you can count.”

It was true. There was more truth in that statement than what Scott wanted to admit. Eloise had helped him out a lot throughout their time together; throughout school, starting off in the gang, and just about every other occasion where things didn’t go to plan for the blond boy.

Eloise had been the one to help him talk his way out of situations he found himself in when he thought he was clever. She had also been the one to cover for him when he would get himself into messes and need a friend to pull him out. Eloise had always been there for him over the years and he couldn’t deny that.

Scott shot her a warning glance before letting a small laugh laced with nostalgia leave him, unable to hide the truth in the statement, “I was a bit of a klutz back in the day, and this one here helped me out a lot. I guess you could say I never quite understood what public embarrassment truly meant,”

“A klutz with a big mouth and shocking taste in women,” Eloise couldn’t stop the mutter before it was too late, eyes watching as Scott scoffed at her and he amusingly jabbed her with his elbow.

“On that note, I’m gonna take my leave,” Scott excused himself, taking a step back as he attempted to extract himself from the gathering rather quickly, “It was nice to meet you, Calum. Suppose I might see you ‘round if she keeps you for longer than usual,” A dry laugh escaped him as he made the remark, eyes catching Eloise’s glaring ones.

Eloise shook her head, the nod barely noticeable as she clenched her jaw and grit her teeth, a warning glare being shot at Scott, “I was gonna ask if you wanted to come by my place tonight and we could hang out, but just for that you can fuck off,” She sighed, raising her hand as she threw a middle finger in his direction.

Scott hummed, knowing she would still want him to come by her apartment. She never didn’t want him to come over when she had offered. “I’ve got plans tonight, some business I need to take care of for work. How about tomorrow night instead? I’ll call you when I’m on my way,”

Eloise sent Scott a nod, “Sure, see you tomorrow then,”

Eventually they bid Scott a goodbye, watching as his silhouette disappeared into the distance, vanishing out of the park as it merged into the crowds that were usually thought of when it came to New York. Eloise released a relieved sigh, the departure of her best friend making her feel as though she could breathe again, feeling the tension deplete with the great distance between them that grew as he was out of sight.

She turned in place, catching Calum’s eyes watching as she seemed to relax. God, she felt horrible for making him suffer through that. Scott wasn’t usually so… not Scott. She swore he was a nice guy but this just highlighted the arrogance that she tried to ignore every day, almost if she forced herself to be blinded to it, not wanting to believe he had it in him to act like that.

“I’m really sorry about him, he’s not usually like that,” Eloise apologised, figuring she owed Calum some form of an explanation as to why she shot off earlier without a second thought, “Scott’s been giving me the silent treatment for the past few days and I didn’t know why; he was avoiding my calls and ignoring my texts and it was bugging me because we used to never go a single day without talking to one another,” She was rambling now, “So when I saw him, I guessed it was a perfect opportunity to ask him about it and then he spotted you staring, asked if he could come and say hi, then he- “

“Eloise, it’s alright,” Calum cut her off with a laugh, stopping her in the middle of a ramble that not even she knew how long it would continue for, his hands placing themselves on her shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly, “He’s your friend, you’re allowed to go and speak to him,”

“Something’s not right with him though,” She sighed, feeling rather defeated, “He’s not himself and I can’t tell what it is. It’s almost like he’s changing, and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“You can’t do anything,” Calum told her, slipping a comforting arm around her shoulder as they turned and began to make their way through the park, heading towards the exit, walking the opposite direction to where Scott had departed, “It’s probably whatever Jay’s planning just getting to his head. It’s a big scheme and a lot is on the line for them,”

“Thanks for reminding me,” She rolled her eyes, sighing heavily as they walked.

The colours of the food cart soon came into sight, Eloise’s stomach practically growling at the thought of some food. The two of them made their way over to the queue, standing in line and began to wait.

“Scott’ll be meeting with some the guys tonight,” She spoke out, “That’s what he meant by ‘work’, so he’ll be filling them in on our little run-in today,”

“And that’s a good thing, right?” Calum sent a questioning look.

“I think so, it’ll make them think that their plan is working,” She nodded, silently trying to convince herself of her uncertain response, “The fact that you called me Eloise will go a long way in convincing them, it’ll make them see that I’ve ‘wormed’ my way in,” She raised her fingers to use as quotation marks at the word wormed.

The confusion is Calum’s face couldn’t be missed, the crease in his forehead and furrow of his brows only solidifying the questioning look he continued to give her, “How is me calling you by your name helping?”

Eloise sighed, knowing she would need to explain. She cleared her throat as she looked ahead of the line, making a note of the few people in front of them that were still waiting to be served.

“Back when I lost my dad, it was quite hard to hear my name. People had been calling me ‘El’ for a while since I was a kid, but my parents almost always called me Eloise, and when I didn’t have them around anymore, my name just reminded me of them and how much I was hurting,” She explained, sighing as she threw a hand in her pocket, feeling Calum’s arm drop from her shoulder as it found her free one, his fingers lightly grasping hers as an attempt to comfort her, “So I started telling people to just call me ‘El’ so it felt like I wasn’t me, so I could pretend like it didn’t happen,”

Calum just nodded, brushing her knuckles with his thumb as he listened. Every time she mentioned her parents, he couldn’t stop his heart from hurting, almost as if he was feeling her own pain when she spoke of them.

“But certain people still call me by my full name, but it became sort of public knowledge with those I associated myself with that only certain people got to call me Eloise; like Scott, Han, my friends: Paige, Roman, and the rest of that group. And now you,” She smiled up at him, squeezing his hand as they took a step forward in the queue, “So, since Scott heard you use my full name, it’s gonna intentionally take this whole thing a lot further, almost securing their perception of what it is that they think I’m doing,”

The mention of Paige and Roman reminded Eloise that she still needed to introduce Calum to them, thinking of the endless stream of text messages she had received from Paige with requests of organising a double date ever since she found out about Eloise and Calum’s mutual agreement of being ‘secretly exclusive’.

She had tried to fight with the idea of Calum meeting her friends, trying to convince herself that it was a bad idea as it just made what they had feel even more real; like it was going last and they were going to be going places after the deal was done. Eloise wasn’t sure if she could bring herself to ignore the harsh reality and let herself fall into the self-made trap of pretending that she lived in a world where she and Calum would walk away from this with no repercussions, where they would be able to live as a normal couple.

Calum was about to speak, a voice laced with a thick accent stopping him as it called out, “Next! ‘iya sweetheart, what can I get ya?”

Eloise’s eyes turned to meet the rather large man in front of them, face a little red and shining an almighty mole in the right side of his chin. He smelled like hot dogs; Eloise noted. Although she wasn’t sure if it were him or the fact that they were at a hot dog stand, but she could be sure that the smell was rather overpowering.

They gave him their orders, standing next to one another as they waited for him to prepare the carb loaded items. Calum’s hand never dropped hers, his fingers finding the spaces between hers before slipping into them, her hand fitting in his like a glove. He felt the need to always be touching her, feeling an uneasy sensation settle in his gut if he was around her and didn’t have his skin touching hers in some way. It wasn’t like Eloise minded; she embraced any physical connection she could get with Calum when she could, silently reminding herself that it most likely wasn’t going to last forever.

Hotdogs in hand, they made their way down the streets of New York, the steam from the slabs of meat in their breaded buns travelling up into the air as they walked together.

“So, you don’t mind that I call you Eloise?” Calum’s question could only just be heard over the sound of a yellow taxi honking it’s horn next to where they waited to cross the street, “I can call you El if that- “

Eloise slapped his shoulder gently, holding her finger up as she silently asked him to wait while she chewed the bite of her hotdog she had just taken. Once swallowed, she smiled at him, wiping the slaver of grease she swore she felt just below her lip with edge of her palm, before she said, “I actually prefer it when you call me Eloise, it sounds better coming from you unlike some people.”

“Good,” Calum speaks through a mouthful of hotdog, hand coming up to cover the sight of half-chewed food, “I like saying your name; it’s pretty, much like the girl it belongs to.”

Eloise couldn’t stop herself from faking a gag, laughing at Calum as she rolled her eyes, amused, “Do you have an off switch, or do you just permanently ruin moments with cheesy lines?”

Calum playfully nudged her as they turned a corner, careful not to knock her into anyone as he leaned over and pressed a quick chaste kiss to her cheek once he had freed his mouth of the remnants of his snack, “Only speaking the truth, doll,”

“Security!” Eloise jokingly calls out, “Can someone please come and remove Mr Smooth from my presence?” She’s unable to stop her laugh as Calum’s hand reaches out, attempting to nip at her sides, “Get off!” She squealed, trying to push his hand away, quickly apologising to the bystander who she accidently bumped into in her attempt to move out Calum’s reach.

Let’s just say that Calum got a friendly smack on the back of the head for that one.

They eventually discovered a bin to discard of their wrappers, tossing them away before they continued their walk back to where Calum had parked his car just a few blocks south of Central Park. The sun continued to shine down on New York, a gentle cooling breeze warranting through the city, adding a refreshing chill to contrast against the heat. They walked down the streets side by side, Calum’s arm draped over her shoulders, meanwhile Eloise’s wound its way around his waist, hips lightly brushing against one another, her small fingers gently gripping onto the fabric of his hoodie as an attempt to keep close to him, head resting on his shoulder as they walked through the city.

“You want me to drop you off at your place?” Calum asked, arm around her shoulders, fingers lightly brushing against the cool material of her jacket, “Or can I convince you to stay at my place for another night?”

Eloise shook her head, her stomach vibrating with her silent closed-mouthed laugh, “I need to go back to my place like I told you. I need time to think about what I’m gonna say to Scott tomorrow,”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to talk to him about some stuff; nothing about the plan or the shipment, nothing to do with the gang whatsoever,” She sighed as they stopped in front of Calum’s car, her arm dropping from around his waist as her back rested against the hood of the black vehicle, Calum’s arm being removed her shoulder as he moved to stand in front of her, he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and taking her hand in his for what felt like the hundredth time that day, “I want to talk to him as friends, as the best friends that we’re supposed to be. I’m worried about him because he used to talk to me about everything and I did the same with him when my life fell apart, but now it feels like we’re more strangers than best friends,”

Calum sent her a reassuring smile, squeezing her hand gently as he reached into his pocket to find his car keys, sending her an assured, “I’m sure he’ll be okay, Eloise.”

“He’s going to hate me when this is over.” Eloise couldn’t stop the tears brimming in her eyes, her throat quivering at the thought of how this was going to affect Scott; the guilt of it seeming as though it would eat her alive.

Calum shook his head, more to himself than to her, raising his hands to her face, cupping her cheeks, his thumbs gently gliding across the apples of her sweet skin as he said, “Let him. Eloise, if he’s really your best friend then he’ll realise why you’ve done this and he’ll forgive you,”

“And what if he never does?” She asked painfully, her voice sounding almost as defeated as she felt.

“Then he clearly isn’t the kind of man you want to believe he is,” Calum spoke truthfully, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, holding his lips there for a few seconds before he took a small step back, opening the car for them to get in, “C’mon, we’ll get ice cream on our way back to your place, my treat,”

“Thank you, Calum,” She smiled, wiping away the packed tears before they had a chance to fall, taking in a deep shaky breath as she attempted to pull herself together, “For everything,”

“Anything for you, Eloise,” He whispered, afraid that if he spoke any louder she would float away with the light breeze, gently reaching down and reconnecting their hands, lifting hers to his lips as he placed a soft kiss to her knuckles, “Absolutely anything.”

*****

11 Days Left

Eloise felt as though she was suffocating, the air around her thick with tension as she watched Scott from the corner of her eye. He had arrived just less than an hour ago, walking in with a pizza in his hand, claiming to be splashing the cash as an early celebration for her hard work.

Every time she looked at Scott, she was reminded of the lies she was living, the lies she was trapping him with, and the guilt was eating her alive, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. As much as her natural instinct would be to warn him of an upcoming ambush, she knew this time it had gone too far, and she couldn’t save him like she so desperately wanted to.

“I had a dream last night,” Eloise spoke quietly, almost sounding as if she was talking to herself, head leaning back as her eyes met with the ceiling briefly, “We were kids again, we must have been six or seven, and we were sitting in a field, just the two of us,” The corners of her mouth upturned, her teeth gently nipping on the inside of her lip, her voice continuing, “I was freaking out, panicking about what we were doing and you kept telling me to calm down, assuring me that we would be alright, you said that you’d make sure they would take care of us,”

Scott’s eyes caught Eloise’s as she looked in his direction, her back resting against the armrest of the couch, “Who were ‘they’?” Scott queried; eyebrows furrowed in question.

“I’ve got no idea,” She said with a breathy chuckle, shaking her head lightly as she reached forward to close over the empty pizza box that lay spread out on the coffee table, the cold stench of tomato and cheese making Eloise feel slightly queasy, before she added, “A monster? Or maybe someone we knew?”

“There’s plenty of monsters around this city,” Scott’s voice almost went unheard, the comment barely audible over the low volume of the TV. But fortunately for Eloise, she heard it loud and clear.

Scott’s words held a lot of truth in them; more truth than most would like to admit, the truth that fell deaf at many people’s ears. They had always been told as kids that monsters weren’t real, that they were figments of their own imaginations, a simple phase they would grow out of. But Eloise never grew out of it, her eyes finding them everywhere she turned. And now, to her own terror, she waited for her best friend to take that final form.

“Can I ask you something?” Eloise rolled her lips into her mouth, taking Scott’s hum as a response, taking a small breath before she continued, hoping he wouldn’t mind her bringing up past events, “Have you spoken to Seth recently? It’s just that you’ve been quiet the past few days, and I know what yesterday was, and I also know he usually crawls out of his hole around this time of year, so I just wanted to- “

“He’s not reached out to me if that’s what you’re wondering,” Scott pursed his lips, shaking his head slowly as he stared straight ahead at the scene playing on the TV screen. It wasn’t until earlier that day that Eloise had pieced together why Scott had been so distant lately, cursing herself for nearly forgetting what had happened all those years ago.

How could she nearly forget? She had a reminder of what happened on that day nearly four years ago permanently etched on her leg; the scar on her thigh never having properly healed, the textured skin serving as a reminder to not only her, but to Scott about what happened that day. And it was all down to a stupid idea made by him and someone he thought to be his friend.

They were 17; young, juvenile, and eager.

They all wanted to be recognised as key members of the Gypsy Kings; fed up and tired of being treated like the kids they didn’t believe themselves to be. They wanted to establish to the older men of the gang that they were ready to take their places in their society.

Eloise, Scott, Ben, Seth, and Gabriel had all piled themselves in Seth’s car one night, driving into the southside of Brooklyn, heading for Wiley’s mattress factory after hearing rumours of illegal liquor being stored in the basement. Scott and Seth had been talking to snitches across the city, pretending to be working for the higher members of the gang to retrieve information on any activity they could attempt to ransack. And boy, when they heard about the Moonshine, it was like they had just woken up on Christmas Day.

They had planned to sneak into the factory, having worked out their entry route as well as their exact strategy: fill a few bags with some bottles of the Moonshine, sell it off to clients that Ben had sniffed out with Eloise’s help, and prove themselves to those who doubted them.

But they had one flaw in their plan; they didn’t take into consideration that there would be any security. Their inexperienced minds had assumed that the factory would be empty, as if they could walk straight in and straight out with bags full of the strong liquor without any struggle. As genius as they thought their plan was, it was only proven to be the complete opposite from the minute they got inside that factory.

Their venture into the factory had gone smoothly, remaining undetected as they snuck into the basement, discovering the underground distillery along with the crates packed with bottles and jars of the spirit. They thought had hit the jackpot, obnoxiously throwing high-fives around as they crammed as much Moonshine into their bags as they could fit and still be able to carry.

Seth was smugger than any of them, claiming that he knew they’d win big with his idea to break into the factory, although they all knew it was him and Scott combined who discovered the rumours of the illegal distillery. Seth was the reason why it all went wrong, getting too ahead of himself and getting too excited, his voice was too loud in the quiet building, and no matter how many times they all told him to be quiet, he didn’t listen.

They had managed to sneak back up into the main foyer of the factory, spotting the door they had entered through, the heavy panel still open ajar so the glint of orange from the streetlamp outside could be seen in the distance. Ben had sent everyone out in front of him, his natural polite nature being what got him killed.

No – them being there is what got Ben killed.

They were nearly out of the factory, Scott’s hands just centimetres from the door before a shout broke their attention, eyes darting across the room to see a tall, thin, wrinkly man pacing towards them, gun in hand with their young bodies as targets. Ben had pushed Eloise forward, telling them to run, but it was too late for him.

Scott thrust the door open and practically threw himself out of it, feet moving out of the doorway as Seth followed hot on his tail, but Eloise had remained frozen in place as she watched Ben’s body fall to the ground as the sound of a gunshot echoed within the factory. Her eyes burned into the hole that branded itself into his back, the dark crimson colour painting his back almost unnoticeable due to the lack of light in the room.

Eloise could still make out Wiley’s eyes in the darkness, she swore she could see red in his irises as nothing, but rage and pure animalistic tendencies coursed through them. Scott had shouted for Eloise to run but she couldn’t hear him, the murderous gunshot echoing in her ears as her eyes became scarred with the sight of the body of the young boy who she had grown fond of.

She hadn’t realised she was moving until Scott grabbed her hand, almost ripping her arm out of the socket as he hauled her out of the building, a second gunshot being heard before a piercing yell from Eloise as her hand reached down for her leg as she tried to run. The pain of the piercing bullet in her thigh was nothing like she had ever felt before, it momentarily distracting her from the death she had just witnessed.

Scott had ended up carrying her back to Seth’s car, her mind not even registering Gabriel who had taken Scott’s place in the front seat as Seth started the car and raced back to their hideout, breaking every red light and stop sign that he came across in the early hours of the morning.

“What about Ben?” Her voice was quiet, throat dry as she blinked rapidly, trying to keep her eyes open although the urge to sleep was becoming too strong.

Scott had removed his belt from his jeans, tying it around her leg as an attempt to the try and stop the bleeding, using his hoodie as a gauze to keep pressure on the world, panicked and with a shake of his head, he said, “It’s too late, El. He’s gone,”

The last thing she remembered before she passed out was the heartache in Scott’s voice; at his words in regard to Ben but also to Eloise as he tried to call out to her, telling her to keep her eyes open and stay awake for him.

She woke up a while later, unsure of how long she had been out for, the tapestry pinned the ceiling above her head capturing her attention when she first opened her eyes, silently telling her who’s home she was in. Of course, she had been brought there.

“She’s awake,” A voice called out; older, yet familiar.

Brown eyes looked to her right, to which she found Han stood by her side, his eyes looking towards the doorway of the bedroom she was laying in. Faint footsteps got louder before two familiar bodies were stood in the doorway; faces etched with guilt and grief as they prepared themselves for the verbal abuse they would receive because of their actions, as if they hadn’t suffered enough.

“I agreed I wouldn’t ask what happened until she was awake,” Han’s voice spoke, arms crossing against his chest as he stood firmly, shoulders tense as he frowned at the two boys, “So, now you better start talkin’,”

Eloise’s eyes met with Scott’s golden ones, a gentle smile spreading across her face at the sight of her best friend, unable to ignore the way her heart hurt at the emotional turmoil he appeared to be in. She remembered almost instantly what had happened, the memories of the factory unfolding in her mind like a movie scene; the sight of Ben’s body collapsing and the gunshot prominent in her vision. She noted of Gabriel seemed to share a similar expression, except he looked to be more uncomfortable rather than upset. It’s not like it was his idea to go and hit that factory, Seth had pressured him into it. Speaking of Seth, where was he?

Gabriel looked as if he was about to speak, about to tell Han what had happened before Scott cut in, “It was all my idea; I thought it would be really cool if we were to try and prove ourselves to you guys by cashing in. I wanted to prove that we weren’t just kids and that we were ready for the big stuff like you guys were at our age,” Scott looked to be embarrassed, almost irritated actually as he claimed the blame for why they were in their current position, “So, we snuck into Wiley’s, tried to steal a couple of bottles of the Moonshine I heard he had been cooking up in his basement. I figured we could sell it on and bring the profits to the hideout… But all I managed to do was get two of my friends shot,”

Han’s sigh was nothing but full of disappointment, his exhale was heavy as he rubbed a hand over his face and looked at Scott, who’s eyes were planted firmly on his feet, unable to keep eye contact with anyone within the room.

It wasn’t the first time Han had been woken up at four in the morning, being asked if he can help someone who was injured. He just never expected for the victim of his next bullet extraction to be the girl who he had promised her dad he would look out for if anything were to happen.

Han’s throat worked, slowly swallowing a frustrated lump as he shook his head, pointing to Scott with an accusing finger, “Just be thankful it was only one life you lost last night. The bullet was only in her leg, and thankfully for your own sake, it didn’t hit anything critical, so she’s gonna be fine as long as it doesn’t get infected,” Han practically cursed himself at the thought of this being any worse than what it was, unsure of what he would do if it had been a wound to her chest or worse, “It’s just gonna take her a few days to be up and walking again, it’s gonna be a bitch of a recovery to get through,”

“I’ll stay with her until she’s ready to move,” Scott stepped forward, nodding his head at Han.

“She’ll be staying here until then, I’ll be keeping an eye on her and making sure it stays clean,” Han packed away the bloody rags that were on the floor, tossing them into his slow burner that sat in the corner of his living room, his eyes watching the sight of the rags beginning to catch the flames as they burned vigorously.

“That’s fine, but like I said, I’m staying with her. It’s my fault this happened, so it’s my responsibility.”

“You never left my side the entire time I was stuck at Han’s place,” She scoffed with a smile at the memory, “It doesn’t surprise me that Han stopped calling in sick for us with the school,”

And it was true, Scott never once went home the entire time that Eloise’s leg was healing. He practically lived at Han’s with her during that time. He felt guilty for what had happened, and he nominated himself to take full responsibility for the factory incident since Seth ran off the minute that he dropped them outside Han’s front door, driving off down the road to never been seen again.

They still didn’t know where he had gone or if he was even alive. Seth had chosen to run away from the gang after Ben died, walking away from any sole responsibility for the death of a teenager and the injury that left Eloise physically scarred. Scott had taken the blame for what happened because at the time he still felt like Seth was his friend, and he didn’t realise that when Seth drove away that night it would be the last time they saw or spoke to each other.

Eventually the truth had come out about how the plan to raid Wiley’s was a joint effort, but it didn’t make things any easier for Scott to cope with.

They never got a chance to bury Ben’s body, nor did his own parents have a chance to say their goodbyes. They received the news of their son’s death via the Gypsy Kings, something that Scott will never be able to erase; never forgetting the sight of his mother breaking down as she heard the news that her son wouldn’t be coming home.

Scott had decided from that day on to pay homage to Ben, wanting to show that he was being remembered by those who cared about him. So, every year on the day of Ben’s death, Scott would travel to Manhattan, to Ben’s parents’ house where he would lay a single red rose on their doorstep and walk away, paying a silent tribute to the boy who had a secret love for flowers and everything nature related; a small secret that only those close to him knew.

It was the death of Ben that sparked Scott’s ignorance when it came to people’s feelings, why he never let himself get attached to anyone new. After he experienced the pain of when Ben left him, only being accompanied by the abandonment his parents left him with – though they thought they were protecting him – once his mother got caught up in her own scandals, Scott decided to distance himself from people, allowing himself to use them for his piece of fun and nothing more.

Throughout everything, Scott and Eloise only ever had each other for long enough. They both had no real family to take care of them; both having left them although in different circumstances. It was from day Eloise had started walking again, leg slowly healing, that they decided they were in it together for the long haul. They had sworn to be brother and sister to each other until they died, always being there for one another when needed.

The memories of how they were before hurt Eloise to think about; looking back and seeing how quickly he was willing to sell himself out to protect someone who he thought was a friend, and how determined he was to sleep by her side while her leg healed, never hesitating or complaining when she woke up in the middle of the night and needed help getting to the bathroom or if she needed something as small as a drink of water.

But when she looked at Scott as she sat opposite him, his floppy curls pointed in all directions, face solemn as he stared out of the window, dark bags beneath his eyes, she couldn’t help but feel as though that something had changed. As much as she did genuinely enjoy his company; she could see their connection had a crack in it. Typical nights in where they would be clutching their stomachs in laughter or racing through the apartment as they play-fought like they were kids again were nothing but a distant memory being replaced with the latest reality of less smiles between them and added tension as Scott’s focus seemed to be elsewhere, as if he had better things to do other than spend time with the girl who had he practically grown up with.

The promise they made to each other is one she’d never be able to forget, no matter how hard she tried. It was a stupid pinkie promise they made on that day that had unintentionally become the glue between them and sadly she felt as though it was drying out and they were breaking off. It pained her to know what was silently happening between them, knowing it would only become clearer when she broke that promise, betraying one of the most important men in her life – or at least that’s what he used to be. It was painful, immensely, but she knew she had to follow through with it. It was for the sake of the city they called home, as well as his own good, and like Calum said, if he were truly her best friend then he would come to forgive her, surely not?

It was a risk she had to take. She had to break everything she had grown to know, unable to stand aside and watch as those around her destroyed themselves as well as innocent people.

“Brother and sister until we die. Bullets, friends, and relationships will never separate us. We’ll always have each other, we’ll always fight for each other, we’ll always love each other no matter what.”

---

Tag List: @steviemae​ @elsysoza​ @treatallwithkindness @oopsiedoopsie23​

[lovebitesimagines]

Dangerous Love- The Meadow.

Chapter five is finally here! I hope you guys enjoy.

Masterlist.

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

Tags: @namelesslosers @happyhostforsymbiotes @brianaisasongbird

Wanna be on the tag list for this series? Lemme know!

Fluffy chapter!

It’s time for your first, proper date with Alfie. What will happen?

YOUR POV 

You awoke the next day, your eyes heavy with sleep. Adrenaline had rushed through your veins as you had snuck your way back into your hotel room, concealing yourself in the shadows and holding your breath as avoid making a sound, fearful that your breathing would reveal your secret. You had laid awake in bed for several hours, falling asleep for a brief moment at a time. You eventually surrendered to the fact that a full night sleep would not be embracing you, as the birds sang their introduction to the morning, the city beginning to slowly stir from its slumber. 

Extracting yourself from your bed, a groan escaping from your lips as you stretched, attempting to shake off the exhaustion that clung to your limbs. You sluggishly made your way to the bathroom, the cold tiles biting at your feet as you made your way to the bathtub. The room was a lot more extravagant than what you were used too. Tiles in a variety of tones adorned the walls and floor, stinging your worn-out eyes. The bathtub was a pristine shade of white, untainted. Turning the tap, you watched as the water rapidly shot out onto the porcelain, steam rising as the heat increased. You lowered yourself into the tub, your muscles warming as it was kissed by heated water. 

You couldn’t quite comprehend the fact, that in a short while you would be going on a date with Alfie Solomons. The idea seemed so wonderful and remarkable, that you had to pinch yourself to realise it wasn’t a figment of your imagination. You speculated upon where Alfie would be taking you this afternoon, and why he had chosen the docks as the destination for your meeting. Several theories flashed through your mind, each more preposterous than the last.

You spent several minutes scrubbing yourself clean, with rose scented soap, sitting in the bath until the water became cold around you. Standing up, you reached for the towel and dried yourself off, before beginning to get dressed. You had opted to wear a light blue dress, with a matching shawl and sunhat, which complimented your complexion perfectly. You sprayed some perfume onto your skin, before nervously applying your signature red lipstick. You apprehensively glanced in the mirror, critiquing your appearance. You swore bags where already forming under your eyes, a sure sign that you have had a lack of sleep. You couldn’t mask the nerves you felt, your feelings evident upon your face. What if Alfie didn’t show up? What if you couldn’t get out of the hotel, without your brothers throwing a million questions in your direction? You tried to push the cynical thoughts to the back of your mind, as you nervously made your way from the room. 

Stood beside your door, as expected, was a young, adolescent boy who had been tasked with guarding your room. He stood with his hands in his pockets, his posture straightening as he saw you exit your room.

“Where are you heading off to miss?” he asked, the break in his voice giving away his nerves. 

“Absolutely none of your fucking business” you responded, your voice snappier than normal, as you begun to make your way down the corridor and towards the entrance. 

Although guilt threatened to gnaw away at your stomach, you had grown tired of your siblings constant meddling, and unwarranted need to protect you. Sure, you were a member of one of the most notorious families in Birmingham, and due to that you couldn’t avoid danger. But you had shown yourself that you were able to cope with the trouble that stalked you and your family, on more than one occasion. You paused as you reached the door, turning to face the young boy who stood bewildered looking at you.

“My brothers may be frightening, but trust me when I say, I’m on a whole new level. If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you myself” you announced, before pushing open the door and making your way outside.  

You stood motionless in disbelief for a brief second, amazed that you had been able to make it outside so easily. The sun blazed up above you, your eyes squinting slightly as you began to make your way north to the docks. The streets where congested, swarms of people frantically going about their day. You blended in wonderfully. No one noticed the nervous young woman in a blue dress. 

Your hands ran along the sides of walls as you moved through the alleyways, the stones rough under your fingers. The buildings towering above you supplied you with shadows, which you gratefully hid in. A soft smirk played upon your lips, as you realised this was quickly becoming a habit of yours. 

The smell of the docks hit you first, the odour of fish and salt water making your nose wrinkle. The noise of the streets behind you became stifled, before fading out altogether. Nerves grew rapidly in your stomach, a feeling you had neglected when you were focused upon finding your destination. Now the silence had given you an opportunity to dwell upon any doubts you had. 

What if Alfie wasn’t there? What if this wasn’t the right thing to do? What if your brothers found out? What would they do if they did? What if-

Then you saw him. You saw him, and all your doubts quickly evaporated from your mind. He was stood with his back to you, cane in one hand and a wicker basket in the other. He wore a white shirt, which was tucked into a pair of black trousers, his hat placed upon his head. You made your way over to him, Alfie seemingly oblivious to your footsteps coming up from behind him. 

“Alfie?” you spoke gently as you announced your arrival. He turned to face you, his face breaking into a wide grin.

“’Ello angel. Ya’ look fuckin’ sensational” he stated, his eyes taking in your appearance, “Ready?”. You nodded in response, following Alfie to where a small row boat was docked. You watched as he carefully placed the picnic basket in the middle, before he held out his arm for you to hold. You gripped onto it, shakily lowering yourself into the boat.

“Where are we going?” you asked, watching as he sat opposite you. You smoothed out the wrinkles on your dress, nervously biting at your cheek. 

“Now that would be givin’ away the secret angel. Ya’ just gonna’ ‘ave to wait and see, right?” he chuckled softly as he grabbed the oars, pushing them down into the water, the boat beginning to slowly drift away.

Silence settled peacefully as you made your way to the secret destination. The water beneath you was a dark shade of blue, small waves breaking and rippling against the sides of the boat. The docks soon became a speck on the horizon behind you, the landscape transforming into various shades of green. Emerald trees stood proudly against the edge of the water, verdant fields spread out behind them. You were focused upon the landscape, your eyes alight with wonder, astonished at the beauty that was before you. You were used to the dark surroundings of Small Heath, so everything before you now seemed magical. There were so few areas of this shade of green, in your home town. 

“We’re here” Alfie announced, the boat coming to a stop against a river bank. He leaned forward, grabbing the picnic basket as he made his way out the boat, assisting you as you stood out onto the grass. He led you down a narrow, muddy path, the long grass either side ticking your knees as you walked. It grew dim around you, a few sun rays escaping through the leaves above you. You continued to walk in silence, nerves cruelly stealing your words.

A few minutes later, you broke out into a small, secluded meadow. You gasped softly, as you took in the sights around you. The meadow looked as if it belonged in the pages of a storybook, one you had stolen from Aunt Pol. The grass was a vivacious green, grazing your ankles. An abundance of flowers lay sprinkled within blades of grass- daisies, dandelions, foxgloves- creating a rainbow splattered along the meadow. The trees enclosed the meadow in a circle, a few leaves scattered amongst the grass. In the distance, you could just about make out a few mountains, their haggard grey contrasting against the skyline. 

“It’s beautiful” you admitted in a whisper, looking at Alfie. “How did you find such a place?”

“I used to come here, yeah, when I was a young ‘un” Alfie begun to explain, lowering himself onto a small patch of grass. The tone of his voice had a hint of warning too it, implying that this topic was not one he wanted to discuss. You sat beside him, your fingers running through the grass, feeling the blades lightly tickle your palms. Alfie opened up the picnic basket, a nervous glance thrown in your direction. “Right, don’t laugh at what I made ya. I’m not exactly a chef angel”.

You peered into the basket, your eyes widening in surprise as you saw the copious amounts of food Alfie had placed inside. There where boiled eggs, a selection of meat slices, baby potatoes, and slices of thick, white bread, with two flasks of tea tucked away in the corner. The care and effort Alfie had put into this picnic, was evident.

 “Please tell me ya’ ain’t one of those fucking vegetarians” Alfie chuckled, stroking his beard to hide his anxiety. You shook your head, an amused giggle escaping from in between your lips.

“No, I’m not. This looks amazing Alfie” you admitted, amazed that he had put this much effort in. You had wrongly assumed that the tough exterior he so proudly wore, was who he truly was. You couldn’t have been more wrong. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had spent the afternoon eating and talking, conversation flowing easily between the two of you. You had learned a little more about Alfie, how he had spent his whole life in London. He spoke about the city, his words creating an enchanting picture in your mind. It was clear how proud he was, and how happy he was in his world. Yet an underlying sadness in his words had stayed hidden, not to be discussed. 

You were laying back on the grass, your stomach full of the delicious food Alfie had prepared. Your (Y/C/H) hair was fanned out around you, your sunhat laying discarded to your side. The last of the heat from the afternoon sun was warming your face, your eyes closed in relaxation. You heard Alfie lay down beside you, grunting quietly as the grass rustled against his weight. His fingers moved against the ground, before they entangled with yours. Your heart beat quickened, pounding like a drum against your chest. Your skin prickled happily at the contact with Alfie.

“Thank you. For today” you whispered, breaking the silence between you both. You turned to face Alfie, untangling your fingers from his. You propped your head on your hand, running your fingers along Alfies’ forearm.

“No problem angel. I think ya’ fuckin’ worth treating, right” Alfie confessed, shivering slightly at your touch. You smiled softly at his words, before a gentle sigh escaped from your lips.

“We need to leave soon. My brothers will have a search party out for me otherwise” you stated, the reality of the situation beginning to sink in. You couldn’t believe that a romantic relationship between you and Alfie would ever work. As much as you wanted it to happen, it was a far-fetched fantasy that you had foolishly engaged with for too long. If your brothers found out, they would kill Alfie. 

“Fuck ‘em” Alfie growled, his words firm. He turned to face you, mimicking your posture. His forehead was creased into a frown, his eyes meeting yours. “I fuckin’ like ya, right? I ain’t gonna let this go to waste, I ain’t gonna let this get fuckin’ ruined by nobody. I didn’t expect to fuckin’ fall for ya’, yeah, as quick as I have. I will fight for ya’, I will fight for us. Only if ya’ are too”. 

His words rang out around the meadow before settling between you both, the meaning apparent. 

“Tell me ya’ don’t feel the same, and I will leave angel, right” his voice became softer, as he shuffled closer to you, his gaze never breaking away from yours. He reached out, gently stroking your hair, before tucking a strand behind your ear. You swallowed nervously, your heart beat quickening.

“I can’t. I can’t tell you that” your voice croaked, nerves getting the better of you. “I can’t lie to you”.

Without warning, Alfie pressed his lips against yours. You blinked a couple of times in surprise, before your eyelids fluttered close and you melted against him. The kiss was intense, your fingers leaving indents in Alfies arms as you clung to him, your lips parting as his tongue slid gently into your mouth. Your heart raced as your lips moved in sync with each other. You pulled away breathlessly a few moments later, your cheeks flushed as your eyes met Alfies’.  

A million words that could have been spoken in that moment, lay unsaid around you both.

Words were not needed.

You knew that you were now Alfies’. And Alfie was now yours.

*****************************************************************************************************

ALFIES POV

Alfie hadn’t felt nerves like this before, the kind that caused explosions in his stomach and made him lay awake at night. He hadn’t experienced a trembling hand, or a skipped heartbeat. Then he met you, and his whole world was turning upside down. He had expected you to return his suit jacket. He had expected to see you that evening, yet he wasn’t prepared for how he felt when he did see you. 

The idea of dating a Shelby had at first seemed preposterous, Ollie attempting to persuade Alfie to ignore the idea. Bad for business, he had told him. Yet Alfie couldn’t help but fall head first, regardless of the danger he would bound to experience. 

He wanted to make sure that your first, proper date was nothing less than perfect. He wanted to impress you, to make you want to see him again as much as he wanted to see you. Alfie was well and truly addicted to you.

Alfie had asked Ollie for advice, much to his dismay. Alfie wasn’t exactly talented in the kitchen. He was more used to wining and dining his conquests in fancy restaurants. But you were different. You deserved something special, something that would create a beautiful memory in your mind. Ollie had assisted Alfie with the collection and preparation of the food items, something simple yet exquisite at the same time. 

He knew exactly where he wanted to take you, somewhere that was special to him. A secret meadow he had discovered as a child, when he was on the run from the blood that was being shed in his family and would soon leave him alone. It was where he would escape during times of hardship. His own special world.

When Alfie was waiting for you at the docks, time seemed to drag far too slowly for his liking. He watched as the workers moved around him, ignoring the man who was stood like a statue. The picnic basket felt heavy in his hand, weighing him down slightly as time moved on. He tried to push down the cruel thoughts that played in his mind. Will you like what he had planned? Will you turn up?

Then he heard your voice. Then he saw you, and his world begun to spin as if it were on a beachside merry-go-round. Alfie couldn’t take his eyes off you, your beauty completely entrancing him. He dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand, to prove to him that this wasn’t a dream. Alfie was comfortable with the peaceful silence between you both, as you made your way to the lakeside. He watched as your eyes took in the landscape, becoming wide with childish wonder as you witnessed things you had never seen before. It made his heart warm, in a way it never had.

Alfie felt relieved when you enjoyed the food he had prepared; a weight being lifted off his shoulders as he watched crumbs collect upon your lap. He smiled at the way you licked your lips, collecting any remaining morsels. He was glad that you weren’t stuck up, or too fussed about your appearance. He was growing tired of women who spent countless hours tweaking their hair or makeup and were unable to hold a conversation. You were different. You were new. 

“We need to leave soon. My brothers will have search party out for me otherwise”.

Alfies heart sunk at your words, threatening to break into a million pieces. He felt his throat tighten with an unfamiliar emotion. He just wanted to be free with you, to live your lives together. He hated that your brothers would always be a threat.

“Fuck ‘em. I fuckin’ like ya, right? I ain’t gonna let this go to waste, I ain’t gonna let this get fuckin’ ruined by nobody. I didn’t expect to fuckin’ fall for ya’, yeah, as quick as I have. I will fight for ya’, I will fight for us. Only if ya’ are too”. 

His heart threatened to rip out of his chest, with each quick paced beat. 

“Tell me ya’ don’t feel the same, and I will leave angel, right”.

Alfie told himself that he would understand if you didn’t feel the same. He would leave you alone, as much as the idea killed him inside. His throat continued to tighten.

“I can’t. I can’t tell you that. I can’t lie to you”.

His heart lifted at your words. He took one look into your eyes, before his lips crashed against yours. Alfie hadn’t felt a kiss like this before. Electricity ran through him, his skin warming at your touch. Your lips fitted well together and moved in sync. His tongue slid against yours, his hands beginning to tremble as he ignored the twitch in his groin. Alfie savoured the taste that lingered upon his lips, as you pulled away.

Silence.

He knew. 

He knew you were his now.

And he knew that he would fight for you, until the very end.

[mymelodyheart]

Forget Me Not Chapter 10 ~Friend Request~

Willie glanced at his watch. It had been a hectic morning at The Fraser Manor Inn kitchen waiting for the arrival of the new kitchen appliances and making sure they were all according to order specifications. With the job done and with two hours to spare, he had time to install fixtures and fittings for Claire and Geillis in their newly rented house before heading back to Lallybroch to take his mother shopping. Instead of using the car, Willie jogged to the girls' residence. It was a brisk run as it was only fifteen minutes walk away.

He was about to knock on the door when something caught his periphery.  What the...?  Turning sideways, he saw Claire lying very still on her front on a patch of grass, head tilted and shoulders bunched. He wanted to say something to grab her attention and asked what the hell she was doing, but something made him stop. iPhone held with both hands, she was poised to take a picture. Biting her lower lip in concentration, a thumb hovered on the screen button ready to tap. Combing the vicinity for the object of her inspiration, his gaze landed on an immobile grey cat looking directly at her with alert eyes, already prepared to pounce or to scamper away at the slightest movement. Seemingly entranced with Claire's soft voice, the feral animal tipped and dipped its head at the sound she was making.

"Here's a good kitty...that's it, sweety, keep looking this way. I have a dish of milk waiting for you," she hummed softly.

Willie held his breath, mentally urging her to capture the perfect shot. A few heartbeats went past, but the opportunity went flying out the window, when the ping sound of her phone spooked the cat, causing it to scurry into the fields. Still unaware he was stood there, Claire groaned loudly, letting her head fall on the ground in frustration for a few seconds. When she finally raised her head to look at her phone screen, Willie saw her body stiffen, and her hands shook.

Alarmed, he immediately went to her. "Hey Claire, ye alright?"

Startled, Claire's head spun in Willie's direction, hurriedly scrambling into sitting position and composing her face. "Oh...hey. I was taking a daft photo," she explained feebly, her cheeks flaming bright pink. "I didn't hear you coming. Where did you come from?"

"I jogged from the hotel. Ye were so engrossed with what ye were doing, I didn't want to interrupt." Willie kneeled down, concern carved on his face. He could see her knuckles were white from clutching her mobile. "What's this?" He pried the phone off her hand with little resistance as it renewed its consecutive pinging sounds. His face went white as he looked down on the device's screen and read the vile messages. There was no avoiding it. "Jesus, Claire, who is sending ye these? And who is Lee Dee?"

Claire brushed off Willie's sharp question, refusing to look at him. "I don't know...I keep blocking them on Facebook, but they keep coming back with different names," she whispered hoarsely. She visibly shook herself, smoothing away the grass and damp from her jeans and summoning a smile. "C'mon, let's go inside, it's cold. It's probably just some sick person who has nothing better to do. Let's forget about it, ok?" She tried to grab her phone back from Willie's hand, but he held it away from her.

Not bothering to ask her permission, Willie continued to swipe up the phone screen to reveal more sickening and shocking lines. "Hell, no, Claire. This is serious. How long has this been going on?" he asked in a low voice, a line forming between his eyebrows.

She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "Four or five months, give or take."

"For fuck sake, Claire, that long? Does Jamie know?" Willie dragged down a hand on his face, trying to comprehend why anyone would send such messages to her.

"No!" The word emerged as a shout, laced in annoyance. "It's not important. Willie, please, just forget about it. Don't make a mountain out of a mole. Jamie's plate is overcrowded as it is, and the last thing he needs is worrying about something as silly as random stupid messages from the internet. I can handle this on my own. I'm an adult now in case you've forgotten...and you...you can stop acting like I need protection." She knew he wouldn't listen to reason, so she continued firmly. "I don't want to make a big deal out of it. So, drop it."

It was difficult for him to believe her when he could see flickers of pain in her eyes. He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her there, but in doing so, he would be allowing himself to feel more than he should.  This is Jamie's girl,  reminding himself, and Jamie had asked him to look out for her. Respecting that wish was something Willie didn't take lightly, and it was a responsibility he took seriously. With incredible will power, he quickly kissed her on the forehead, instead of giving her the usual brotherly hug, and turned towards the entrance door. "Aye, ye're probably right. It's probably nothing. Let's go inside then and put up those new curtain rails."

Appeased, Claire let them into the house with Willie close behind. Once inside, he watched her make a beeline to the kitchen cupboard, and with shaking hands, she retrieved two tumblers and poured a generous measure of whisky in each glass. It was then and there he realised her drinking could have something to do with the messages she had been receiving.

..........

Lying on the bed, Jamie stared at the ceiling of his hotel room. The plan had been to track down Annalise's adoptive family, but she was so damn elusive of their whereabouts, he had no choice but to drop the subject and the idea of attempting to find them. He knew she had severed their ties because of her abusive past suffered in their hands, but surely there must be somebody else in her life who cares about her.  Friends? Long distant relatives? Acquaintances? Where are they? She couldn't have lived all her life not having anyone.

His mind drifted back to four days ago to their initial conversation.  So, Jamie Fraser, for my second wish...I want to ask you...will you be my husband, until death takes hold of me? I don't want to die alone.  Of all the things he thought Annalise would ask of him, he had definitely not foreseen that. Speechless and unsure how to proceed, all he could do was bury his face in his hands, giving himself time to formulate his next words...or action. It didn't help that his attention was divided continuously by his constant thoughts of Claire. There was no help. He wanted her so badly, in all sorts of ways that it made him ache all over.  Christ, I miss her.

Mistaking his silence as contemplation, Annalise had walked over to him, reaching out to lay his head on her burgeoning belly.

Her touch had made him jump with a start. "No Annalise...no." His abruptness had startled both of them, but he was determined to keep her at arm's length. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, especially not in her condition. Studying her as he grappled for the right words, he thought he saw a flash of anger in her eyes. Or was it jealousy? Before he could read more into it, that damn mask was back on again. "Christ, Annalise...I'm truly sorry. Bloody hell, ye're dying, but I cannae grant ye this." He paused, releasing his pent up breaths. "No. I am here to help ye, but that is one wish I can't deliver. No, I cannae marry ye. I have someone... a-and I love her."

As expected, she had retreated back to her seat and to that impregnable veil, only shaking her head in response, maybe as a self-reproof for her own forwardness or embarrassment for being denied. "Of course..oh God. How could I ask you for such a thing? No... please don't be sorry. It's me who should be apologising. What was I thinking?" she sputtered, managing a self-conscious laugh at herself. "I had to ask because I'm desperate, it was the only way. I've never minded being on my own, but the idea of dying with no one in my life to speak of is terrifying. But I have to be content with the knowledge you'll make sure my baby will go to a loving home."

Looking at Annalise sat on the single armchair that seemed to swallow her, she had looked fragile, small, and so lost. She lived in a city that never sleeps, and it's thronged with people, jostling and going about their business without a care, and every day, she viewed the street below, like watching life go by in her absence from a fishbowl. Suddenly the small apartment had seemed suffocating, and Jamie knew he couldn't stay. He needed to get out of there to think clearly. Despite the silent plea in her eyes begging him to stay, he didn't, but he promised he would come back.

Came back, he did. They talked as he poured over papers upon papers of printed doctors' diagnosis and examinations that Annalise handed to him. It may as well had been written in Chinese as Jamie's thoughts bounced to and fro, her words going in one ear and out the other, and the medical documents were nothing but a blur. Nothing was registering when his mind kept wandering to Claire and the dialogue he had with his brother.  Claire has a drinking problem. 

Although trust had been verbally established between them, he didn't want to give her any reasons to doubt; hence, he had checked himself into a hotel and regularly updated Claire with news, omitting the part on Annalise's final wish. And after Willie's admission of his deep-seated fondness for Claire, he didn't want anyone thinking that she was available for dates especially now that her arrival back in Lallybroch had piqued interest. Thus, he had posted the picture he took of them on Facebook, tagging her and updating his status, in a relationship. She wasn't impressed as she was never one to post a photo of herself on any social media platforms, but she gave in eventually, knowing his counterargument would be unreasonable. Now that it's out there loud and clear, there should be no more misunderstanding.

Jamie held no illusions that his mere presence by Annalise would solve everything, nor was he arrogant enough to believe that every second of the five days he had spent with Claire, would guarantee a  happily ever after.  The crack of jagged daylight on Claire's wall was just beginning to show, and no longer did she have that worry in her eyes that their relationship would be met with disapproval. The deeply etched line between the two of them had been brushed away... for now, and he intended to continue to break that crack of light wide open.

He had made up his mind. Jamie was taking Annalise to Lallybroch with him, and that decision was based on selfish reasons. He missed Claire. Jamie needed her now. Even before Willie had confessed Claire's possible drinking problem, he already knew she was still fighting a lot of insecurities. How often, over the years, had he seen Claire vibrating with suppressed emotions? The thought made everything masculine inside him react. A bolt of heat had hit its mark, spreading throughout his loins. He was aching for her desperately if the outrageously full erection was any indication.  She's mine to fix, and she's mine to balance. Love provides that balance.

With shaking hands, he reached out for his iPhone on the bedside table and facetime Claire. She answered on the first ring, draped in a bathrobe, a mug of tea poised at her lips. He could see she was in her bedroom. "Jaime!"

"Sassenach..." His voice sounded hoarse to his ears. Christ, she's beautiful...Sorcha.  "What are ye doing? Are ye alone in the house?"

"Umm, Willie and Geillis are in the kitchen. Willie stopped by for dinner earlier. It was the least we could do for him after he did a few jobs for us around the house. I've excused myself, and I was just about to read a book." Claire disappeared from the screen as she twisted to her side to set the mug by the bedside table. "Are you alright, Jamie? You have that funny look on your face." She paused for a few seconds. "Uh-oh, I know that look."

"Lock yer door, Sassenach."

Claire didn't need telling twice as if she could read his mind and quickly scrambled from the bed. When she came back on the screen, excitement flashed in her eyes. "Now what?" she whispered, in anticipation.

"Take off yer robe. I want to see all yer naked body," Jaime demanded in a thick voice, as he slid down his sweatpants and boxer shorts, and wrapped his hand around his cock. "I want to see ye touch yersel'. I want to watch ye."

"Oh!" A heartbeat passed." Are you touching yourself?" she asked, her voice cracking and eyes doubling in size. Without waiting for him to answer, she went out of focus while she set her phone upon a stack of cushions, fussing and fiddling to place it at a right angle. He could almost see her blushing and smell her scent when he shut his eyes, envisioning her before him.

"Aye, I've been thinking of ye the whole day, and it's given me a painful cock-stand. I need ye so badly...please let me watch ye, Sassenach." His fist squeezed up and down his erection as he watched Claire sank back against a pile of pillows and slowly unknotted the tie to her bathrobe.

"Jamie, I've never done this before..." She looked painfully shy but at the same time, so damn sexy. He swallowed hard as his eyes focused on her hands, parting her bathrobe, ever slowly, revealing inch by inch the smooth white skin.  So beautiful, my lass, love, love her.

"Christ, ye're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on...look at what ye do to me. The thought of ye makes me so hard and seeing ye like that in bed is enough to drive me crazy," he rasped, tightening his hold on his aching throb. "Touch yersel', Sassenach, and pretend it's my hands touching ye."

The need in his voice must have coaxed her to slipped off her panties, her glazed eyes boring into him. Her chest and cheeks were flushed, and her tits were larger than usual.  She must be having her period soon,  he thought 

Her head fell backwards, shaking hands sliding up her stomach to cup her swollen breasts. As fingers rubbed over her nipples, her breath caught in her throat. "Oh God, Jamie..."

"I got ye Sassenach, I see ye...fuck, ye're so gorgeous," he gritted, his hand moving faster along his length. "Think of me sucking those beautiful tits."

The sound of his shallow breathing and the hitch of his breath encouraged her more. Staring into the screen on the phone, she spread her legs apart, his darkening eyes following every movement of her hands. She slid one hand down her stomach and dipped closer between her thighs. Slipping her fingers between the folds of her mound, she thrust them into her centre. "Oh, God, yes..." She moaned as she swiped the moisture from her sex, rubbing her finger over her sensitive spot.

"Look at me Sassenach...keep looking at me. I love ye, ye understand," His accent was becoming thicker by every word as he watched her finger movement grow erratic, his own hips rocking hard beneath the motion of his hands. "I love every fucking inch of ye. There's only been ye...ye hear me. Ye're mine. Mine. Say it."

"I'm yours, Jamie...always," she sobbed, working her finger in a circle between her thighs. "Oh, God, oh, God...Jamie..." Claire's gaze stayed on his, her eyelids weighed down with lust. "I'm nearly there..." Panting, she reached and pinched her nipple, her fingers repeatedly rubbing between her wet folds. 

"So beautiful...so beautiful. Aye, that's it, don't stop. I'm with ye...love ye so much. So sweet..." Her body arched and convulsed in response, as his head buzzed and spun with urgency. "Jesus, Jesus Christ," Jamie gritted out, his own body racked with shudders, as his release came shooting out his hand, gripping him with near-paralysing bliss.

They both went silent as they allowed the waves of pleasure to subside, content to simply be and gaze at each other. As Claire curled up to hug a pillow, Jamie made a move to get up from his bed. "How are ye feeling?"

She nodded and smiled. "Sleepy..."

"Don't switch off the phone yet. I want to watch ye sleep. I'll be in the bathroom to clean mysel'" Jamie whispered, his chest expanding with love as he watched her body relax and her eyes strived to remain open.

"Good night, Jamie," she mumbled, pulling the covers over her shoulder and placing the phone next to her.

"Sassenach? I have something to tell ye...before you go to sleep."

"Mmm?"

"I'm coming home in two days."

Her eyes fluttered open for a few seconds, but he knew she was too tired to ask questions. It was just as well as he didn't feel like talking about Annalise after what they just shared. "I can't wait..." were her last words before Claire nodded to sleep.

..........

By the time Willie reached Lallybroch, his parents were already asleep. He wanted to speak to Claire before leaving her, but he heard her bedroom locking as he was about to knock. Sitting alone, by the fire, in the family room, he took out his phone and read the message from Jamie letting him know he was coming home with Annalise. 

Having never met Jamie's ex-girlfriend, he decided to reserve his judgement when he meets her. There were other pressing matters that concerned him as he browsed through his picture gallery. Earlier, Willie made a few screenshots of the messages Claire received on Facebook and had it sent to his own phone. The date on one particular message disturbed him as it was sent way before Claire arrived Lallybroch and before she and Jamie became a couple.

You fucking whore, do you know it's incest to sleep with your brother? You're nothing but an ugly cunt.

He browsed through Claire's Facebook profile, knowing already she never posted a picture of herself. The images she posted were more of a hobby photography kind. There was only one photo of herself which Jamie posted and tagged her in, and this was from a few days ago. Swiping up further, he searched for a post nearer to the date when the vile messages started landing in Claire's inbox. They began on the day when she announced on Facebook she was coming home to Lallybroch to stay for good.

[folerdetdufoler]

about a minute after i pulled away from my house on tuesday i realized i forgot my pink face paint but it was already too late to turn around. doing something like that would cause the dominoes of delays to topple and i wouldn’t actually make my flight. for that sacrifice i was rewarded smooth travel, but that meant my friday was a little less...fredag-y. alas.

i woke up for the sunrise again, and was rewarded with a mostly clear sky. the weather was turning out better than expected, which was good because i was planning on some walking today. the night before jenn invited me to ett bord for lunch, so that was my first scheduled event for the day, but i had some stops i wanted to make for personal, skam-related reasons.

after a leisurely breakfast i got dressed and applied sunscreen. then i messaged with nadège to figure out where to meet up on my way to nissen. i wanted to visit the national gallery, even though it was closed, as just a final nod to the museum that inspired rule of seven. we managed to message a firm meet up and then completely miss each other on the street, but we got our shit together eventually and made it to the museum. it was a little sad, if only because another tourist came up to us asking where the entrance was, and we had to break the news that the museum was closed at that location. granted, it was probably confusing seeing us taking pictures of the building as if it were still an active site, but still less confusing than the instructions i tried to give them about visiting the new museum in 2020 (uhhhh wtf kerry).

we moved on. we went to the school for no reason other than to step back into that world for a little bit, check up on the benches. we went to the KB for a drink, and then walked to the restaurant. i’m glossing over most of this because a lot of what was said during this time made me uncomfortable, and it all kind of built up over the next few hours until i snapped at lunch. i didn’t speak out or anything, i just capslocked on twitter once and then tried to tune everyone out. for some reason the restaurant was playing exclusively ed sheeran songs, so i just listened to that instead. i plucked heads and exoskeletons off of shrimp and drowned myself in lukewarm pop music.

the food was good. it was the first time i’d eaten shrimp like that. i don’t know what i was expecting, ordering “norwegian shrimp,” but that was exactly what it was and i shouldn’t have been so shocked. but in general i powered through.

after lunch i went back to the hotel to change before the park. i didn’t have my face paint but i was going to wear a skirt because it was robyn and apparently “one step up from the bare minimum” is my love language. i fell asleep at some point in my preparations, and woke up with my thumb still scrolling through instagram. then i was late, and missed seeing girl in red. but i found my girls as they migrated to the next stage, and was blessed with an absolutely electric performance from christine and the queens. it was another artist i’d never listened to before but i instantly regretted that; she blew us away with her energy and attitude and message, pumping out songs that your heart somehow already knew. it was a good mood-lifter, which i sorely needed after that afternoon.

okay well hold the phone because it’s been weeks since i started writing this post and i definitely lost my train of thought. after christine and the queens we went to get food. after we found a table to sit at, jenni, taru, and kati found us to do some hilarious candy trades. i was not aware of how valuable reese’s are overseas. but the point of mentioning this is that i was being wildly rude to these women because i was not sure who they were, and thus acted very cold. jenn had actually introduced me to jenni the day before and i simply did not connect her to the person i had chatted with online, someone i already knew. so i just compartmentalized them into “oh these are jenn’s friends” and kept myself out of their conversations. it’s kind of a generally rude thing to do, to shut myself off instead of trying to integrate with small talk, but here it was extra rude because i seemed to be ignoring the fact that we’d already “met.” gah! also i’m not sure when i finally connected the dots, but it was late enough to feel deep embarrassment about it and not really figure out how to apologize about it. so i didn’t. i think i tried to be more friendly when we met up the next day but knowing me i probably wasn’t. anyway, i apologize both for how i acted and for not acknowledging it/apologizing for it in person. i usually have a good reason for being rude, but this time it was just...insecurities? ugh.

okay so...the rest of the evening was just ROBYN. we tended to always gather around the same location, stage right, not too close but decently close because i fucking flew to oslo for this. and with every successive evening, the crowds were packed in tighter and more likely to dance. i was still trying to get used to the general lack of personal space but pretty early on i just gave up trying to stand my ground, letting people push past me and not worrying about who i was pushing in return. like, no one was going to win the fight for whatever little patch of grass you were standing on.

it was also an interesting experience as someone who is very aware of how much space she takes up in this world (too much!), being forced to acknowledge that constantly by the pressure of other people against my front and back. it didn’t help that i was wearing a backpack. but most of the time i can ignore that “bigness” by only being in spaces that allow me to fit with ample air around me. (the closest i get to other people these days is my airplane seat.) at a general admission concert though, that doesn’t exist. so i would sing and dance and think about weighing 237 pounds. i don’t know if it was necessarily a bad thing, just a new thing, and it was probably actually good to have that constant awareness, to shrink my comfort zone. i dunno. the real fight was me going back and forth thinking “i wish i took up less space” and “you deserve as much space as any other human being.”

clearly the problem with waiting a month to write a travel recap is that it actually becomes a therapy session about things that could’ve been figured out back in the states. so let’s really move on to robyn. leading up to the festival i’d been lazily following robyn’s tour, watching her play new york city twice and eating up every fan video of “dancing on my own,” where she let the crowd sing it for her simply because they were going to anyway. i was so excited to finally be part of that crowd, to hear the music like that, in my bones. and i did.

i tried to get my picture-taking out of the way at the beginning, because all i needed was one clear photo that could prove i was there. i don’t think i actually got it, but the important thing was i put my phone away and just enjoyed the music for most of her set. i had it ready to go when her two hits started, of course, but robyn, of all of the artists i’d seen, seemed most focused on creating an atmosphere for everyone to just be in. we had billowing curtains and sensual dancers that moved the air around us, which moved us too. we all were encased in lace with ribbons in our hair.

at some point i noticed a guy off to my right who was holding his plastic cup, the reusable one meant for the festival, and it was lit up. he had turned on his camera’s flashlight and was amplifying it through the bottom of the cup. i thought it was very clever and was impressed, wishing i could pause the concert to get enough space to retrieve my cup from my backpack and join him. i wanted to sway and hold up my lighter too.

i think i pointed it out to nadège in that pantomime way, just trying to direct her eyes away from the stage and hoping she’d figure the rest out on her own. she, of course, was already aware, because she then pointed out everyone else at the concert doing the same thing. i don’t know why i didn’t see it before, why i thought only this one guy was doing it, but the rest of the joint was lit up like a candlelight vigil. (looking back at the video i took during her bows, i’m realizing i simply didn’t see it because i’m too fucking short. i had to hold my phone up over my head to see the rest of the crowd beyond the border wall of shoulders around me.) she had the whole crowd at her feet, keeping watch, sending out electro-pop prayers.

i got what i came for. i got the rush of nostalgia for bånder, the single, freeing heartbeat of everyone dancing on their own, and the press of bodies to remind you you’re not actually alone. i was in oslo, the lights were blue, and i felt the pulse that’s been keeping me company ever since the clip dropped. as uncomfortable as my body might’ve been, my heart felt like it was where it belonged.

ugh that was some purple ass writing right there. and now i have to follow it up with “and then i walked back to the hotel.” because i did. i opened a new tab on my computer, and like it’s been doing for the past nearly-three years, it directed to the skam homepage. tap, tap, scroll, and then bånder was playing, chris was dancing, and isak and even were learning what electricity felt like with just a single point of eye contact.

then i was probably too buzzed to fall asleep for another couple of hours which is always a good life choice when you’re already severely sleep deprived. but when i did eventually nod off, i did so knowing that isak and even were on their way to falling in love, and an entire park had felt it too.

[blushingkpop]

A Few Days In Japan| Taehyung X Reader

Summary: Y/N is on vacation in Japan for a week and meets Taehyung from the band BTS which leads to a change in plans.

Tags: fluff, a lil sad, one shot!

Word Count: 3121

Y/N made her way down one of the many shopping districts in Japan. She was on a long-awaited vacation that she had been planning for years. She loved Japan and its culture and was super excited to finally have enough money and time to get there. As she wandered along the street she thought about what her friend had told her before she left.

“Y/N, I think this will be really great for you. You’ve wanted to go to Japan so badly and I think it’s going to remind you of everything you are capable of. Plus,” her friend paused raising an eyebrow with a playful smile on her face, “maybe you will meet a cute Japanese boy and fall in love and live in Japan forever!” This was a pretty common topic for her friend to talk about, slightly advice and slightly (mostly) just boy talk.

“Maybe she’s right,” Y/N said to herself, laughing softly. She continued to walk down the street peering in at all the little trinkets being sold by each shop. She stopped at a cafe and walked in, hoping to rest from all the walking she had been doing all day. It was a pretty empty cafe but it was tucked away in one of the many alleyways so it wasn’t that surprising. When she walked in, she was instantly met with the warm smell of coffee and the sweet scent of freshly baked cake. She glanced around the cafe and saw a few different people scattered at different tables within the building but didn’t look that closely at their faces. Y/N went to the front and ordered her favorite drink. She glanced around the shop again deciding to sit at the table by the window. She sat down and pulled out her journal, beginning to write down how her day went. Suddenly, a hand appeared in front of her face, it waved.

“Hmm?” Y/N looked up at the man the hand belonged to and saw someone she was not expecting at all. It was Kim Taehyung. Y/N was a fan of BTS but never expected to see any of the members ever, let alone the one time she went to Japan! She was frozen looking at him. He smiled his boxy smile at her. It looked even more beautiful in person.

“Hi,” he said warmly, “can I sit with you?” She nodded in response and he sat down across from her.

“You’re Taehyung,” Y/N said still a bit starstruck. Taehyung chuckled.

“Yes, I am. You are?”

“Oh, I’m Y/N,” She replied sheepishly, a nervous smile on her face.

“So, what brings you here?” Taehyung looked over her face, a cheerful look in his eyes.

“I’m just visiting Japan,” Y/N replied a soft blush on her cheeks from the attention she was receiving.

“Ah, me too! I'm only here for this week and then I’m going back home.”

“Me too!” The waitress came over with Y/N and Taehyung’s drinks. The waitress seemed a bit surprised to see Taehyung there and a smile quickly grew on her face but she turned and walked away back to work. Taehyung sipped his drink and the conversation carried on with a nice rhythm for a couple more hours. Soon, the sky grew a bit dark as the sun began to set. The cafe would be closing soon.

“Wow, it’s gotten so dark all a sudden,” Y/N exclaimed finally looking outside and noticing the sky. Taehyung checked the time.

“I think we’ve been here a lot longer than we thought,” He chuckled and showed her the time.

“It’s already that late? I should probably start heading back to my hotel,” Y/N said this and she knew it was true but if she was being honest she would rather do anything but that. Taehyung nodded feeling the same way but of course, Y/N didn't know that.

“Would you like me to give you a ride? I wouldn’t want you to get lost on your way back.” Y/N hesitated but she knew that it would be dangerous to head back in the dark and it was about a twenty-minute walk anyway.

“I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t mind,” She said looking at him and he smiled in response.

“Of course not! It’s my pleasure,” He said this and stood up gesturing her to follow him. They both headed outside and made their way to a car that had a driver in it already. Taehyung opened the door for Y/N and let her get into the backseat of the car first before scooting in himself next to her. She told the driver the hotel address and he began driving there. It was quiet for a few minutes the reality of the evening being over soon finally settling in their minds.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Taehyung?”

“I want to see you again,” Taehyung had a slight blush on his cheeks at his own forwardness but he knew he’d regret it if he didn’t try to see her again. He didn’t look at Y/N, too scared to face the potential answer she could give.

“I want to see you again too,” Y/N responded quietly a blush forming on her cheeks as well as she looked over at him and he did the same. They both smiled when they made eye contact and laughed warmly. They exchanged numbers and before they knew it the driver had arrived at Y/N’s hotel. She reluctantly got out of the car waving at Taehyung before shutting the car door and heading toward the hotel entrance.

“Wait!” The sound of the car door could be heard opening as Taehyung made his way over to her.

“Tomorrow. Let’s do something tomorrow. Let’s walk around Japan and go see the cherry blossoms. If you want, of course,” Taehyung’s forwardness soon turned to shyness at the end of his mini-speech. He looked at Y/N shyly, hope evident in his eyes.

“Okay. Let’s do that,” Y/N smiled at him and waved again, grinning happily to herself as she walked into the hotel and made her way to her room.

The next day Y/N woke up bright and early, probably because of jet lag but also because her heart wouldn’t stop pounding in her chest all night. She smiled and checked her phone. Zero messages. She frowned, putting it back on the table beside her bed. She got up getting ready for the day.

Later, after Y/N had had breakfast, she got a call. She answered it seeing an unknown number and hoping for the best.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Y/N, it’s Taehyung,” He said, his deep voice sweet to her ears.

“Oh, hey Taehyung, what’s up?”

“Well, I was hoping that you would be willing to go on a picnic with me later and then you know… we can walk around and see the cherry blossom trees too,” His voice quieted down a little as he finished. Y/N smiled to herself.

“I’d really like that.”

“Awesome! I’ll text you where to meet me,” His voice was instantly back to its normal volume as he said his goodbyes and hung up. Y/N received the text a few minutes later and started getting ready. A few outfits later and Y/N finally found one she liked. Y/N made her way to the park that Taehyung told her to go to. She glanced around trying to spot the idol prince as she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Y/N turned around to see her favorite boxy smile.

“Taehyung!” She said happily smiling back at him.

“Y/N!” Taehyung said back playfully.

“I was just looking for you,” Y/N said finally taking in all of his presence. He looked cute. He was dressed comfortably and his hair was a little messy and fluffy.

“Here I am and look at what I have!” He exclaimed as he lifted a picnic basket, “Let's go find a place to sit.” Y/N walked alongside Taehyung as they both looked around the park for the perfect spot.

“Right there!” Taehyung pointed to a sunny patch of grass right next to a shady tree.

“That’ll work great,” Y/N smiled and walked over to the spot. Taehyung pulled out a light blue cotton blanket and laid it on the grass. Taehyung placed the picnic basket in the middle of the blanket as he sat down. Y/N sat down across from Taehyung looking expectantly at him. Taehyung looked at her slightly confused but then instantly blushed when he realized.

“Oh, right!” He chuckled nervously and opened the basket, pulling out some dishes and a bottle of lemonade, “I hope you like lemonade.” Y/N nodded in response and looked at all the dishes, helping him take the covers off.

“I can’t believe you did all this. It looks amazing,” Y/N said smiling big at all the delicious food. Taehyung’s face grew warm as he looked at her.

“It wasn’t a big deal. I wanted to do it. For you,” He spoke that last part so quietly Y/N could barely hear it.

“Well, thank you,” She said warmly, a fluttery feeling in her chest. They began eating, telling stories, and laughing together. After they finished which was a couple of hours later, Y/N helped him pack everything up.

“So, Y/N, I’m flying out tomorrow. Back to South Korea,” Taehyung said this without looking at her. He closed the picnic basket, sighing. Y/N looked at him carefully, a sad look in her eyes.

“Is there time for us to see each other before you leave?” Taehyung finally looked up and made eye contact with Y/N.

“I really want to but it’s a really early flight. I don’t think it can happen,” He looked down again, his face showing all the emotions he was feeling.

“Taehyung. It’s okay. We both knew how this was going to go,” Y/N paused as he looked up at her, “it’s not exactly reasonable for us to see each other again after this week.” Taehyung nodded.

“You’re right but I still don’t want to think about it,” Taehyung said, standing up and folding up the blanket.

“Then let’s not think about it,” Y/N said, smiling and walking along with him, linking her arm with his. Taehyung instantly blushed but smiled down at her. Taehyung and Y/N walked along the street continuing to talk about happy things only. They arrived at a popular walkway with cherry blossom trees lining it.

“It’s so beautiful,” Y/N looked around at all the trees a happy smile on her face. Taehyung looked at all the trees and then down at her, a happy smile on his face too but for a different reason.

Soon, Y/N began to notice all the couples walking along the pathway, the holding hands and occasional kisses placed lovingly on cheeks and foreheads, sometimes even the lips. She looked up at Taehyung shyly, their arms still linked as a warm feeling rushed to her cheeks. Taehyung seemed to have noticed the same thing she did and had looked down at her at almost the exact same moment. They both instantly looked away from each other, Taehyung clearing his throat and Y/N biting her bottom lip.

“So, do you want to go get some ice cream? There’s a place near here,” Taehyung broke the tension and looked back down at her.

“Sure, that would be great,” Y/N replied, looking up at him and following him to the ice cream shop. They walked into the shop and Taehyung found a table setting the picnic basket down (that thing got kind of heavy after a while). Y/N ordered two ice creams and waited for them, smiling at Taehyung who was sitting at the table. Soon, a couple of girls came over to him and asked for pictures, they seemed to be tourists. Y/N smiled to herself and grabbed the two ice creams from the worker. She walked over to the table waiting for the two girls to leave and sat down across from Taehyung once they did. She handed him the ice cream cone and smiled.

“Is it like that wherever you go?”

“Hmm? Oh, you mean the fans? Yeah, kinda,” he said licking his ice cream, shrugging.

“Does it get old?” Y/N asked looking at him intently. He smiled looking at her.

“I mean kind of but not really. It can be hard but I love them and they love me. I appreciate their support. They’re the reason that I get to live my dream,” He looked down at the table, a small smile on his face. Y/N smiled at him, sighing a bit wistfully. Taehyung looked up concerned.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Taehyung grabbed her hand gently across the table, worry written on his face. Y/N blushed at the sudden intimacy.

“I’m okay. I’m glad that you get to live your dream. I’m just going to miss you,” Y/N’s glossy eyes looked at him, biting her lip holding back so many emotions that she couldn’t decipher what was what.

“I’m going to miss you too,” Taehyung kept eye contact for a few seconds before breaking away and chuckling, “Your ice cream is melting.” He gestured to the drop of melted ice cream rolling down the cone and onto her hand. Y/N laughed, licking at the ice cream to prevent more drips.

“So, is yours!” Y/N laughed again pointing at Taehyung’s melting ice cream. All this time, their hands never separating from the center of the table.

The evening came quickly and Taehyung walked Y/N to her hotel. Their long day had worn them out but they knew that the end of the night was the end of it all and that's the last thing they wanted. Taehyung stopped walking once they reached the front of the hotel. Y/N stopped in front of him, holding her hands behind her back.

“I guess this is my stop,” Y/N said quietly, glancing toward the hotel door.

“I guess so,” Taehyung said his voice weak, watching you intently.

“I don’t want this night to be over,” Y/N’s voice broke at the end of the sentence, tears building quickly. She didn’t know why she had become so attached to Taehyung already but it felt so heartbreaking to have to leave him. Taehyung sighed, looking at her like that hurt him more than she knew.

“Don’t cry, Y/N. We’ll see each other again. I’ll make sure of it,” Taehyung gently placed his hands on her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her.

“I don’t believe you,” She whimpered a bit dramatically. Taehyung chuckled and pulled her in for a hug. Y/N stiffened in his embrace but relaxed when he patted her back softly. Taehyung blushed and was secretly very happy that she couldn’t see the silly grin on his face.

“As I said, we’ll see each other again. I promise,” Taehyung said this warmly and let her out of his embrace.

“Okay. I believe you,” Y/N said still pouting but now with a slight blush on her cheeks.

“I’ll miss you Y/N,” Taehyung said looking down at her kindly.

“I’ll miss you too, Taehyung,” Y/N looked up at him, with a sad smile on her face. Taehyung waved and began walking away.

“Goodbye, Y/N!” Taehyung said waving again as he continued walking.

“Bye, Taehyung!” Y/N watched him walk away and went into the hotel.

That night Y/N couldn’t sleep at all. She tossed and turned all night thinking about Taehyung the whole time. She checked the time on her phone. It read 4 am. Taehyung would probably be heading to the airport right about now. She sighed staring up at the ceiling. She wanted to see him again. Just one last time. She checked her phone again.

“I can still make it,” Y/N said determinedly. She got out of bed and quickly got dressed, getting a taxi and heading to the airport. She had no plan but wanted to see him. She didn't care. Y/N paid the taxi driver and jumped out of the car, running inside the airport. Reality hit when she looked around, people surrounding her but none of them who she truly wanted to see.

“What do I do?” Y/N asked no one in particular, hopelessly looking around again. She walked over to the board of flight listings, glancing over them all. She didn’t know if this would help. There’s no way for her to get past security. Should she try to call him? Would he even answer? Y/N sighed and turned away from the board looking around again. She glanced at the security line. He wasn’t there. She sighed again, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I guess I really won’t see Taehyung again,” Y/N sat down on a nearby bench and covered her face, tears falling onto her cheeks.

“I thought I told you not to cry,” Y/N looked up surprised, wiping her cheeks.

“Taehyung?” He smiled, taking Y/N’s hand as she stood up.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?”

“I… I just wanted to see you one last time,” Y/N looked down shyly, squeezing his hand. He kept his gaze on her, dearly wanting to hold her close and never let her go. He resorted to staying where he was instead.

“I’m glad you came.”

“Taehyung,” Y/N said looking up at him, “I actually came here because I felt like I’d regret it if I didn’t.” He looked at her confused and tilted his head to the side slightly.

“Taehyung! We need to go,” A different voice spoke up suddenly from nearby. Y/N figured it was Taehyung’s manager or someone else on his team. Taehyung looked over at him and nodded, looking back at Y/N.

“I have to get going, Y/N,” Taehyung sighed, looking down at their intertwined hands, “I’m glad I got to see you again.” He let go of her hand reluctantly.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” Taehyung looked at her and turned to walk away.

“Taehyung, wait!” Y/N grabbed his arm and turned him towards her again. She looked up at him and kissed him. Taehyung froze out of shock but relaxed after a few seconds, smiling when she pulled away.

“Sorry…,” Y/N blushed, letting go of Taehyung’s arm.

“Don’t be sorry,” Taehyung smiled and took her hand in his, “Now, I’m definitely going to see you again.”

[moonshoesmolly-blog1]

Putting one foot in front of the other was a task easily accomplished when Molly was tucked safely away inside the walls of the Axiom. There, she could bask in the familiarity of the building and resort to being her usually bubbly self; dutifully scrubbing the surfaces of the lobby until they sparkled, teasing Rian until he either laughed or blushed, guiltily lying to Conor and telling him that Claire had arrived home at a reasonable time last night (he always saw through her fibs but ever called her out on it – she supposed he understood that, being an only child herself, striking up a sisterly sort of loyalty with Claire was important to her). But as soon as she was forced to venture outside of the hotel, that’s when panic tended to set in and something as simple as walking in a straight line became difficult.

With Sirius’ leash hooked around her wrist, she stood outside of the revolving door and took her time pulling her woollen gloves over her fingers. She was stalling, and she knew it, but the longer she stood next to Friedrich, the familiarly friendly Austrian doorman, the safer she felt. But Sirius soon began straining against his leash and she knew it was unfair to make him wait for his walk, not when the road was stretched out in front of him. A long, long road that made Molly’s heart hammer in her chest.

Exactly twenty steps to the gated entrance of the Axiom. Turn left. Continue for another fifteen steps. Stop. Sirius was due to spot the fire hydrant to their right and, as always, he lifted his leg to pee on it. Let him do it. Keep eyes firmly trained on the recognisable crack in the pavement. That prevented her from letting her gaze wander and seeing all the different ways the roads of Cherry Grove branched off and into places completely unknown to her. If she stared at the crack the toes of her boots were only just touching, she could kid herself and pretend that there was only one road in town, easily making Cherry Grove seem a lot smaller and helping her to keep walking.

Under her breath, she counted her strides. A patch of ice made her slip a little and her mind desperately grasped onto the last number she’d been counting as she righted herself and reassuringly patted Sirius’ head to make sure she was alright. Had she been on step fifty-six, or fifty-seven? She couldn’t remember, and a trembling breath left her. As she stood on the spot, shaking from head to toe with her eyes squeezed shut, she fought against the urge to turn and run home. No, she could do it. She was sure she’d been on step fifty-six, which meant there was only another sixty or so steps until she reached the park. It seemed like a painfully large number, but it was early in the morning and she didn’t want to disappoint Sirius. Claire had taken him out yesterday, and Molly’s dad the day before. She didn’t want him to think she was abandoning their time together, so she set off again. Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty. Halfway there.

It helped a little when she reached the park. It was, after all, an enclosed space. And the trees reaching up and over her helped to shelter her from the outside world. Leaves were sparse due to the winter weather but the branches were thick enough to stop any buildings from showing themselves. The park was a safe area and she unclipped Sirius’ leash and allowed him to run wild.

The grass, frozen stiff, crunched and popped as her dog trampled it. He whizzed around the empty clearing like a mad thing and she giggled. Still determined to remain on the path and under the shelter of the trees lest she step out into the open and suddenly begin to panic, Molly reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She knew Conor would appreciate a Snapchat of her dog. He’d told her he always loved Sirius Snapchats, even though that had been down to her jokingly bullying him until he admitted so

Through the lens of her phone’s camera, Molly saw something that made her breath fly out of her in one visible fog of air. Another dog had entered the clearing and Sirius bounded over at once, uncaring that Molly was now pathetically croaking out his name. Her border collie was usually obedient and heeded her every word, but he had his moments where he misbehaved. The appearance of another dog with a gorgeous yellow coat paired with Molly’s inability to form words at that moment, meant he was hardly going to pay attention to what she was saying – or make that trying to say. By the time Sirius had reached the other dog and immediately pushed his nose against its butt in that weird puppy dog way he had of saying ‘hello’, Molly spotted the owner looking around for whoever was in charge of the black and white furball harassing his better behaved dog. It became clear what Molly had to do and she steeled herself. She’d already told herself the park was a safe space, and that extended to the clearing in front of her, right?

Gulping in a lungful of air, she nodded to herself then stepped forward. It took her five steps to reach the grass, which she forced herself to remember through her sudden onslaught of dizziness. She might need to remember that calculation for next time. She hesitated at the edge of the grass before stepping onto it with one foot, and then the other.

It crunched underneath her and the sound brought a dry sob flying from her mouth. It was so pathetic, but she couldn’t help it. At least she hadn’t properly started crying yet. She told herself that all she had to do was reach her dog, mumble an apology to the man standing there and then hurriedly head home where she’d be safe in her room underneath her glow-in-the-dark star stickers and her solar system duvet cover. That didn’t help matters as much as she thought it would, because there’s nowhere else in the world she’d rather be right now and the distance between her and her room with all its planet posters, astronaut plushies and framed photographs of her and Conor seemed impossible to reach, especially as she continued to cross the park and get further and further away from the Axiom.

But she made it. A whopping seventy steps later, she reached the man and his dog. It was embarrassing to think that she’d taken more than a full minute to make her way over and an apology was clearly written across her face.

“Sorry. Sorry,” she murmured, her accent thick through her panic. “I’ll get him t’… t’… Sirius, here,”

The last word forced itself out of her throat harshly and she nearly ended up shouting it. Her dog froze for a moment then trotted back over to her. With shaking hands, she clipped his leash back on and sheepishly glanced up at the man.

“Sorry about him,” she said, speaking a little more clearly this time. “He gets a bit jumpy ‘round other dogs. Doesn’t know how t’say hiya properly, it seems.”

[tech-chloe-decker-blog]

GTA 5: Guide to find Peyote Plant Locations

As we know, there are a total of 23 GTA 5 peyote plant areas to locate in the game. They are available in a small size, which means there’s is no chance to find one by accident. However, if you are looking for these plants as well, no need to be fret.

Source:- GTA 5: Guide to find Peyote Plant Locations

Here is the guide that will help to reach these locations with ease.

Mount Chiliad: Use the cable car and navigate to the southeast path and search against the pair of tiny red flags at the top of Mount Chiliad.

Pacific Ocean: Head towards N.O.O.S.E east side headquarters and then sail or swim to the small island to get this plant.

La Puerta/Chamberlain Hills: Locate the baseball ground and search for the plants behind the batting cage between the trees.

Alamo Sea: Navigate to the northwest next to an outcrop rounded land.

Raton Canyon: Gamers will require a helicopter to arrive at the rocky outcrop top and then get the Peyote plant present in the middle of Raton Canyon.

El Burro Heights: Head towards south scrapyard and then move to the west side car park.

Mount Gordo: Pursue the way through Mount Gordo and search at the tree base by the lake.

Los Santos International Airport: Search against the wrecked bug and forklift.

Vinewood Hills: Look for some bushes near the road going to the Galileo Observatory.

Pacific Ocean: Find the underwater peyote at the far end of Del Perro Pier. Go to the concrete pillar and dive down to the base.

Ron Alternatives Wind Farm: Head over to the trailer park next to the wind farm.

Tongva Hills: Search on the southern rocks of the stream under the waterfall

Mount Chiliad: Get a helicopter and find the way to the top of Mount Chiliad.

Grand Senora Desert: Move slowly to the side of the hills and reach Redwood Lights track at the southeast.

Raton Canyon: Pursue the way up to the viewing stage and search to the right side on the ground.

Grand Senora Desert: In the west, Trevor’s airstrip desert next to the oil derricks.

Vinewood Hills: Next to a Park ranger station, you will find one under a large rock in the Vinewood hills.  

Paleto Bay: Look for a bench in the northern green park of a raised mound and search at the end opposite to the bin.

West Vinewood: Reach the rooftop by using a helicopter of the Gentry Manor Hotel. Now, look for the plant pot on the east side of the closest road.

Vinewood Hills: Head all the way through the North of Vinewood hills houses and search to the drain entrance.

Magellan Ave/ San Andreas: Reach the rooftop by using a helicopter of the Venetian Hotel. Then, search for the plant pot at the south side on the grass patch.

Pacific Ocean: Dive down next to a stone archway and significant group of sponges and then grab peyote.

Mirror Park: Search the peyote plant on the house reach porch in the latest development.

Chloe Decker is a self-professed security expert; she has been making the people aware of the security threats. Her passion is to write about Cybersecurity, cryptography, malware, social engineering, internet, and new media. She writes for Norton security products at norton.com/setup.

[aemilythings-blog1]

We started along the path with dozens of other hikers heading along one of New Zealand’s famous great walks- the Routeburn track. New clothes and gear, not a tear or wear mark in sight, marked many as first time hikers, eager to see New Zealand’s backcountry. Overtaking them, we were all heading the same way. But our destinations differed. Entering the Valley of the Trolls further along the track, we would go where few venture.

It was mid December 2018, and the typical New Zealand summer weather was in full effect, but there was snow on my mind. Having just climbed Mt Brewster a few days prior, I knew that snow could linger in the sheltered slopes and gullies for a long while after Spring. It might make it difficult as we had opted to ‘go light’, leaving heavy boots, crampons and ice tools behind, and bet on most of it having melted away.

But I'll get back to that later.

With my friend Joel, we were blitzing along the Routeburn track, and my fitness was faring well with trips such as Mt Brewster behind me. I laughed at each sign indicating the average time to the next significant landmark. Two hours? Make it one!

We soon passed the luxury huts of the Routeburn. The smell of bacon, eggs and sausages seeping out of the building seemed so incongruous with our place in the wilderness. Peering through the windows as we walked by the Routeburn lodge, a privately owned hut for hikers (read: hotel), bedding was changed in the upper floors from hikers about to embark on their next leg of the great walk, while on the level below sat tables neatly arranged in a dining hall as they waited for the next hungry hikers to arrive.

It was stark contrast to our mission, as we had worked up a sweat carrying our heavy packs (with no bacon or eggs), and were about to ‘tough it out’ camping by an alpine lake.

We settle into a good rhythm up towards the saddle, and then as we round the bend, Lake Harris comes into view.

INTO THE VALLEY OF THE TROLLS

Spanning out to fill the huge depression below Conical Hill and Harris Saddle, its light blue edges sank into a deep black core. A body of water in a mountain setting is always impressive, and I often find myself wanting to swim in it, held back sometimes by freezing temperatures (like on this trip), but not always.

It was from here we could catch our first glimpse of the Valley of the Trolls. Off in the distance at the end of the valley, a huge waterfall became our focus. So large, and so far away, the water looked to travel slowly, almost crawling, perhaps even being mistaken for snow at first glance.

But there was no mistaking the snow patches on its right side, in the deep gully we would have to scramble up to access Lake Wilson on top. Snow was once again on my mind, but we would have to get closer to decide our plan of action.

Read More:

The Copland Track Hike & Welcome Flat Hot Pools

The Best Queenstown Hikes! 9 Walks You Need to Do!

From Harris saddle, we find the trail leading down to the outskirts of Lake Harris, and make our way into the Valley of the Trolls.

Trolls are often described in folklore as grotesque and ugly beings. The Valley of the Trolls was anything but. You almost expected some mythical band of Viking warriors to come streaming down the valley if it wasn’t for the bright sun and floating butterflies highlighting the valley as a hidden paradise.

Flowers, vivid and bright, streams crystal clear and tinged with light blue, grass and moss soft underfoot, it made me pause to take it all in every dozen steps. Not a single photo I took has done it justice.

Our feet squelch in the moss as we cross the swampy grassland. Picking the path of least resistance, we cross a few small streams and make it to the base of the falls and its neighbouring gully on the right. Looking up, the snow near the top looked solid and filled the gully entirely, but we figured a way through it, or around it, would be possible.

A quick stop to eat and dry our feet a little, examine the waterfall from its base, and then we were away and up the steep gully.

A short rock section was the only vertical challenge as we made it to the base of the snow in the access gully. Without snow in late summer, this would be an easy section.

We looked around and spotted a potential path up the right hand side. This proved more exposed than the first one we encountered, and it would be hard to reverse, but once past this, it flattens out as we top the rounded rocky domes and get exceptional views both down the valley, and also across Lake Wilson.

Surrounded by peaks and sharp ridge lines, stone buttresses and boulders, Lake Wilson mirrored Lake Harris in its colour and tone, but with all the added extras of an alpine wonderland. We begin the process of finding a flat spot to camp for the night.

Our original plan included a summit of Mt Erebus, that was of course until we could see how much snow covered the slopes! It would have to wait, or at least, we would have to bring ice tools and crampons for a serious go at it. The weather was also forecast to turn to rain the next day, so we put off a summit attempt. It’ll always be there for next time!

THE SNOW

Waking to low visibility the next morning, we had a quick breakfast and decided to get going to outrun any worsening weather. My mind was now thinking about how to get down.

The exposed rocky scramble we did coming in, now slick from the fog, was something we wanted to avoid. Downclimbing it would be dangerous with a slip leading to a serious fall.

We explored another cairn path that led to a horrible downclimb that was also slippery and went nowhere. Everywhere we looked there were steep drops and deadly bluffs. Turning around, we climbed up again and decided to check the bergschrund, the gap between the snow and the rock, to see if we could find a way through.

With some chimneying and stemming against the ice and rock, we dropped in and quickly shuffled and scraped our way through, not wanting to linger lest the ice decide to collapse in a more twisted version of the 127 hours movie.

Once out of the bergschrund, the decent went smoothly and we enjoyed the valley again, albeit with some more ‘atmosphere’ this time as the clouds boiled above us. It’s amazing how the change in weather can present the same landscape in such a new fashion. Unfavourable weather isn’t always necessarily bad!

As we join the Routeburn track again and join the groups of hikers walking the length of the great walk, I’m reminded of how awesome it is to take a step off the beaten path to explore somewhere new.

I may have had snow on my mind walking in, but walking out the memory of the spectacular place I had visited was all I could remember. That, and bacon and eggs.

HOW TO GET TO THE VALLEY OF THE TROLLS & LAKE WILSON

Take the Routeburn track, starting from the Glenorchy side at Routeburn shelter, just before you reach Harris saddle. From here, take the trail leading down along the western edge of Lake Harris until you reach the boulder field marking the entrance of the Valley of the Trolls.

The trail branching off to the right from the Routeburn track.

Continue following the path, which is often to faint to follow along the swampy grassland, but just keep on the true right of the valley until you reach the waterfall, after which the creek is easy enough to cross without boot removal in normal flow.

Head up the steep gully, taking care on the rock step, and take the obvious path to the top (see note below regarding snow).

From here, you can camp at the outlet, though it is exposed to any wind, or make your way around the lake to find another suitable spot. Various small bivvys can be found amongst boulders, but these can be wet, small and uncomfortable.

DIFFICULTY: Moderate (fitness & route finding skills required)

TIMES/LENGTH: 6-8 hours, 17Km one way.

TOTAL ASCENT: 1360m.

START LOCATION: Routeburn shelter carpark, located HERE.

EQUIPMENT: Free overnight hiking trip PDF checklist.

SEASON: Summer is ideal, other seasons require winter travel knowledge and skills.

WEATHER: Always prepare for alpine weather in any season!

GPS DOWNLOAD: My track from wikiloc is found HERE.

OTHER COMMENTS / TIPS:

► The Valley of the Trolls up to Lake Wilson should only be attempted by people with good fitness and backcountry skills, as well as being equipped with all the right gear.

► Snow will be present in the gully mentioned in the write up until January. As climbers and mountaineers, we were able to deal with anything we came across. The snow can be avoided by scrambling on the right, but it is exposed and a fall would be very nasty. The later in the summer season, the better it will be.

► Remember if you plan to camp at Lake Wilson that it is alpine terrain. A Four season tent or shelter is highly recommended as alpine weather can change fast and winds can be very high with little cover around.

And remember, always LEAVE NO TRACE and take ALL YOUR RUBBISH WITH YOU. Keep the outdoors beautiful!

[trekkinginpakistan]

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Ultar

Duration  2 days Distance 6.2km Standard easy Season May-October Start/Finish Baltit Nearest Village Karimabad Zone and Permit open, no permit Public Transport yes Summary This steep, but short, trek leads to a stunning glacial amphitheatre beneath the snowy summit of 7388m Ultar.

The lofty summit of Ultar (7388m), towering dramatically above Hunza, is believed to be where a fairy queen once lived in a crystal palace. It’s from this sacred mountain that Hunza’s irrigation water flows. Baltit Fort guards the entrance to the steep, narrow Ultar Nala, which opens in its upper reaches into a pasture surrounded by a cascade of glaciers and granite. The walk to the meadow and back can be done as a strenuous day hike, but spending a night is an unforgettable experience. On moonlit nights, Ultar is sublime. Frequent avalanches off the icefall punctuate the stillness and echo off the peaks and cliffs surrounding the meadow.

PLANNING

Maps

The Deutschen Alpenverein (DAV) 1:100,000 topographic map Hunza- Karakoram depicts the area.

Guides and Porters

A local guide costs Rs 300-350 per day, but isn’t absolutely necessary. Ask for a reliable guide at your hotel, because lots of unreliable ones are out there. Trekkers have been lost and injured, however, and one solo trekker in 1994 has never been seen again.

NEAREST VILLAGE

See Karimabad

GETTING TO/FROM THE TREK 

Walk through Baltit towards the fort, under the house spanning the path, to the trailhead at a signed junction. It takes 15 minutes to walk here from most Karimabad hotels.

The Trek

Day 1 : Baltit to Ultar Meadow

2-3 hours, 3.1km, 770m ascent

At a signed junction (2500m), footpaths lead right to Baltit Fort, left to Diramishal, and straight to Ultar Meadow. Go straight (north), following the canal into the mouth of the canyon. A spring is just past the canal’s headworks, 15 minutes from Baltit.

Climb steadily for one hour on a well-used, but sometimes difficult and indistinct, trail up the steep rubble along Ultar Nala’s true right bank. Rock-fall hazard is high along this section after prolonged rain, high winds or a thaw.

The trail then crosses the Dilbar canal, leaving the river’s edge. Cairns mark the way over moraine rubble, staying high above the river and rising to the base of cliffs. Pass an overflow canal, which is usually dry in the morning and flows in the afternoon. Pass the highest canal, which flows to the Victoria Monument, 15 to 30 minutes from the Dilbar canal. Here are the first views of the black rubble of the Ultar Glacier’s terminus. Follow the canal up a few minutes to the first level grassy area with a spring called Quru Phari (3000m). A friendly entrepreneur sells drinks and snacks, prepares hot meals and even offers free camping.

Continue up the more gradual trail one hour to Ultar Meadow (3270m), with good views south to Diran. Below the herders’ huts at Ultar, a rock wall usually keeps livestock out of an established camping area run by Hunza clans. A stream trickles through the compound. The camping fee inside the compound is Rs 70. Camping is free elsewhere, but there are no level spots outside. Also in the compound is a kitchen hut that prepares meals and sells drinks and snacks. Sod tables and chairs invite one to hang out. It costs Rs 80 per person to sleep in one of their tents nearby. Morning sun comes late, and swirling winds off the glacier can make it quite cool.

Alternative Day 1 : Baltit to Ultar Meadow

2-3 hours, 3.1km, 770m ascent

An alternative way into Ultar Nala is through Diramishal village, home to the Diramiting clan, and along the Dilbar canal. Part of this trail crosses private land and the Dilbar canal, constructed in 1998 and opened in June 2000, is technically closed to foot traffic. Local people are connected both about the safety of people walking along Dilbar, and also about the canal’s Structural integrity. Nobody wants the canal to break under the weight of exercise traffic. Ask for permission before wandering on your own. That said, it’s the most direct and commonly used way to Ultar.

At the signed junction in Baltit, turn left following the arrow to Diramishal. Go up stone steps and in one minute, turn right past the house next to the house with a hanging sign in front that reads ‘Hunza Fabrics Enterprise’. The narrow footpaths through Diramishal are confusing, and it’s easy to get lost. Have someone show you the way. It takes about 15 minutes to wind your way up through the tightly clustered old houses. Respect the privacy of Diramishal residents whose houses and windows you walk right by. Continue climbing another 15 to 30 minutes through fields and orchards towards a rock face, topped by the Queen Victoria Monument, to reach a spectacular view point and the Dilbar canal. If you get lost, ask for the way towards Malikamo Shikari, the monument’s local name.

Head right, walking carefully along the reasonably wide, but exposed path along the canal and into Ultar Nala. Reach the junction with the main trail in Ultar Nala in 30 minutes. About 50m before the Canal headworks, climb (left) onto the rocky moraine towards the base of the cliffs and away from the river. See Day 1 (p) for the description from the Dilbar canal to Ultar Meadow.

Side Trip : Hon Pass  

4½-6 hours, 5Km, 995m ascent, 995m descent

Hon Pass (4257m), on a steep ridge above Ultar, has magnificent views of the Hunza Valley and the west end of the Hispar, Spantik- Sosbun and Rakaposhi- Haramosh ranges. The summits of Trivor, Spantik, Malubiting, Phuparash, Diran and Rakaposhi tower above the equally impressive Barpu, Minapin and Pisan glaciers. For an ‘aerial’ view of treks in Nagyr that you may have done or are thinking about doing, this is the place to go.

The popular day hike to Hon Pass is steep and strenuous, but well worth the effort. Plan on three to four hours from Ultar Meadow to the pass and 1½ to two hours to return. Those in really good shape can do the entire trip as a day hike from Baltit in eight hours. Carry water from Ultar because there’s no reliable source above.

Looking from Ultar Meadow, Hon Pass is the obvious grassy notch on the ridge south- west of the meadow. Although many people go to Hon, there’s no singles established trail except for the final 20 minutes. From Ultar Meadow, head slightly north- west, and pass the grave of Japanese climber Tsuneo Hasegawa, who died in a 1991 avalanche on Ultar II. Head up along the stream paralleling the base of the cliff. Stay towards the right, and don’t stay too far towards the inviting grass to the left. The relentlessly steep route rewards with increasingly spectacular views. To the south, the Barpu Glacier and peaks above it come into view first as the perspective on Ultar and its icefall becomes more dramatic. Eventually, cross to the left (south) side of the rocky rib dotted with grassy patches to reach a solitary cairn (4115m).

Avoid ascending the gully above the cairn. Follow the visible trail from the cairn south- south- east five minutes towards a distinctive rock outcrop. At the outcrop, the trail makes a sharp right turn and traverses the steep exposed slope 15 minutes to Hon Pass. Cows and Sheep graze on both sides of the pass. Nobody actually crosses Hon Pass, so retrace your steps to Ultar Meadow.

Day 2 : Ultar Meadow to Baltit

1½-2 hours, 3.1km, 770m descent

Be careful not to follow a canal by mistake as you descend the trail along Ultar Nala.

[theboh3mianraspb3rry]

Everything you heard is true, I have only gone and bagged myself another allotment and not another half plot either a FULL plot in full sun, YIPEEEEEE!

Are you ready to meet her?

OK then, here she is……… Meet No.9 Dream…… isn’t she beautiful?

I had my name down for just over a year and the wait was truly worth it. The former owner of my new plot can no longer keep up to the management of a full plot plus a half plot next door due to arthritis so handed it back, which was very lucky for me as it’s not in bad nick at all. Compared to my other plot (No.34b) when I first took that on it was completely covered in Bindweed, Couch Grass, Nettles, Mares Tail and Comfrey and lots of Ash saplings. So the new plot was a welcomed pleasant surprise as I was expecting hell!

The new plot came with completed raised beds down the left hand side that just needed a spot of weeding, an established strawberry and raspberry bed, a wild flower patch a plum tree and a shed! This was a dream come true, I had just won the jackpot of allotments!

I signed the contract and was handed the keys, No.9 Dream was mine all mine!

After an hour of wondering round the plot with my head buzzing with ideas and excitement I decided to look a little closer at the plot. The left hand side where the established raised beds are is in great condition, there are just a few annual weeds to tackle, so I got onto that right away so I can begin growing almost instantly. I purchased some manure and sharp sand to spread on the beds because the soil is very heavy clay, which isn’t the best but feeding it will help improve that. I cleared out a waste pile that the previous owner had accumulated in the top right hand corner, in total from this corner I did 3 waste tip runs filling 15 garden waste bags.  I also had a fire with some of the left over dried out debris and added the ash to the beds too.

As I wondered around the more unruly right hand side, it was becoming more true to taking on a new allotment. Upon closer inspection it would appear that I have quite a lot of Couch Grass, Lesser Celandine and Ground Elder to tackle and unfortunately I can’t just cover the ground either as there are a tonne of random raspberry canes everywhere, that’s on top of two established raspberry beds. Someone definitely liked their raspberries!! They are all over the plot, in pathways, in raised beds, amongst the flower patch, so I need to dig these up. I have decided to just have one large raspberry patch on this plot. All the surplus and random canes I am donating to others. My brother is taking some for the garden at the school he teaches, my two netball buddies are getting some and a new plot neighbour is having some too. Yes there really is that many!

It’s a good job I have had the time spare to get straight stuck in with the graft as my council allotment contract says in 3 months you need to have 50% of the weeds and rubbish cleared from the plot and 25% needs to be in cultivation otherwise it’s keys back and pack your bags your off!! This is fairly strict but there are so many messy uncultivated plots that there needs to be firm rules in place.

  My new neighbours all seem lovely too, I’ve already got chatting to most of them and one of them grows dahlias too. Remember the one I lost that arrived rotten and had sold out, well she’s offered to give me a cutting of hers yayyy! This is why allotments are fantastic everyone is always willing to help one another, it’s such a wonderful thing to be a part of.

So I guess by this point you’re wondering what plans a I have in store for No.9 Dream?

Well the area where I cleared the debris from is going to remain the wildflower patch which wraps around the entrance, I have decide I am going to build a pond here too. I swear by installing ponds to help with pest management, those frogs, toads and newts make easy work of those pesky slugs and snails. There’s a beautiful plum tree just below this area that fruited for the first time last year so I’m very excited about this, lots of jam and fruit leathers in the near future. Around the plum tree are yep more raspberries and a tonne of Iris, that have stopped flowering. This I presume is because the rhizomes are sat in wet heavy clay below a mound of couch grass and not baking in the sun like they require. So I will dig these up and plant them around the pond area, I love Iris flowers they are so pretty, I’m hoping thias will give them a new lease of life.

I will then go on to installing more raised beds down the right hand side and making new paths here too, whilst clearing out all the weeds and raspberries then covering with membrane so we don’t get the weeds back from any missed stray roots that still maybe lurking in the ground. After this I won’t dig the ground or beds again, as I intend to have another no dig plot.

The back end of the plot needs clearing as there are more weeds and raspberries, another pile of debris and a Hawthorn tree, which can’t stay as it’s not on a dwarf rootstock. The plan for the back will be to have 2 compost bins that I will make from pallets and a wildlife area which will consist of a bug hotel, log and stumpary and maybe another raised bed too, I will keep the blackberries that are growing up the fence and just tie them in so they don’t root elsewhere on the plot. I think I may pt in another fruit tree down here too, but I’m still undecided on that.

So that’s the grand plan, for now at least. I’m pretty sure these will change over time or I will have to make changes to include something else, but so far I’m happy with my choices and over the moon with my new plot. I want it to be my sanctuary where I can relax when I’m not grafting on it, take in the sunshine and enjoy the lovely wildlife.

What are your thoughts, is there a vision you see that I have missed for No.9 Dream, please share with a comment below, I’d love to hear them.

  Thanks for reading and please don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!

Brightest Blessings,

Bo x

Introducing My New Lottie! Everything you heard is true, I have only gone and bagged myself another allotment and not another half plot either a FULL plot in full sun, YIPEEEEEE!

[trekkinginpakistan]

New Post has been published on Trekking in Pakistan

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Ultar

Duration  2 days Distance 6.2km Standard easy Season May-October Start/Finish Baltit Nearest Village Karimabad Zone and Permit open, no permit Public Transport yes Summary This steep, but short, trek leads to a stunning glacial amphitheatre beneath the snowy summit of 7388m Ultar.

The lofty summit of Ultar (7388m), towering dramatically above Hunza, is believed to be where a fairy queen once lived in a crystal palace. It’s from this sacred mountain that Hunza’s irrigation water flows. Baltit Fort guards the entrance to the steep, narrow Ultar Nala, which opens in its upper reaches into a pasture surrounded by a cascade of glaciers and granite. The walk to the meadow and back can be done as a strenuous day hike, but spending a night is an unforgettable experience. On moonlit nights, Ultar is sublime. Frequent avalanches off the icefall punctuate the stillness and echo off the peaks and cliffs surrounding the meadow.

PLANNING

Maps

The Deutschen Alpenverein (DAV) 1:100,000 topographic map Hunza- Karakoram depicts the area.

Guides and Porters

A local guide costs Rs 300-350 per day, but isn’t absolutely necessary. Ask for a reliable guide at your hotel, because lots of unreliable ones are out there. Trekkers have been lost and injured, however, and one solo trekker in 1994 has never been seen again.

NEAREST VILLAGE

See Karimabad

GETTING TO/FROM THE TREK 

Walk through Baltit towards the fort, under the house spanning the path, to the trailhead at a signed junction. It takes 15 minutes to walk here from most Karimabad hotels.

The Trek

Day 1 : Baltit to Ultar Meadow

2-3 hours, 3.1km, 770m ascent

At a signed junction (2500m), footpaths lead right to Baltit Fort, left to Diramishal, and straight to Ultar Meadow. Go straight (north), following the canal into the mouth of the canyon. A spring is just past the canal’s headworks, 15 minutes from Baltit.

Climb steadily for one hour on a well-used, but sometimes difficult and indistinct, trail up the steep rubble along Ultar Nala’s true right bank. Rock-fall hazard is high along this section after prolonged rain, high winds or a thaw.

The trail then crosses the Dilbar canal, leaving the river’s edge. Cairns mark the way over moraine rubble, staying high above the river and rising to the base of cliffs. Pass an overflow canal, which is usually dry in the morning and flows in the afternoon. Pass the highest canal, which flows to the Victoria Monument, 15 to 30 minutes from the Dilbar canal. Here are the first views of the black rubble of the Ultar Glacier’s terminus. Follow the canal up a few minutes to the first level grassy area with a spring called Quru Phari (3000m). A friendly entrepreneur sells drinks and snacks, prepares hot meals and even offers free camping.

Continue up the more gradual trail one hour to Ultar Meadow (3270m), with good views south to Diran. Below the herders’ huts at Ultar, a rock wall usually keeps livestock out of an established camping area run by Hunza clans. A stream trickles through the compound. The camping fee inside the compound is Rs 70. Camping is free elsewhere, but there are no level spots outside. Also in the compound is a kitchen hut that prepares meals and sells drinks and snacks. Sod tables and chairs invite one to hang out. It costs Rs 80 per person to sleep in one of their tents nearby. Morning sun comes late, and swirling winds off the glacier can make it quite cool.

Alternative Day 1 : Baltit to Ultar Meadow

2-3 hours, 3.1km, 770m ascent

An alternative way into Ultar Nala is through Diramishal village, home to the Diramiting clan, and along the Dilbar canal. Part of this trail crosses private land and the Dilbar canal, constructed in 1998 and opened in June 2000, is technically closed to foot traffic. Local people are connected both about the safety of people walking along Dilbar, and also about the canal’s Structural integrity. Nobody wants the canal to break under the weight of exercise traffic. Ask for permission before wandering on your own. That said, it’s the most direct and commonly used way to Ultar.

At the signed junction in Baltit, turn left following the arrow to Diramishal. Go up stone steps and in one minute, turn right past the house next to the house with a hanging sign in front that reads ‘Hunza Fabrics Enterprise’. The narrow footpaths through Diramishal are confusing, and it’s easy to get lost. Have someone show you the way. It takes about 15 minutes to wind your way up through the tightly clustered old houses. Respect the privacy of Diramishal residents whose houses and windows you walk right by. Continue climbing another 15 to 30 minutes through fields and orchards towards a rock face, topped by the Queen Victoria Monument, to reach a spectacular view point and the Dilbar canal. If you get lost, ask for the way towards Malikamo Shikari, the monument’s local name.

Head right, walking carefully along the reasonably wide, but exposed path along the canal and into Ultar Nala. Reach the junction with the main trail in Ultar Nala in 30 minutes. About 50m before the Canal headworks, climb (left) onto the rocky moraine towards the base of the cliffs and away from the river. See Day 1 (p) for the description from the Dilbar canal to Ultar Meadow.

Side Trip : Hon Pass  

4½-6 hours, 5Km, 995m ascent, 995m descent

Hon Pass (4257m), on a steep ridge above Ultar, has magnificent views of the Hunza Valley and the west end of the Hispar, Spantik- Sosbun and Rakaposhi- Haramosh ranges. The summits of Trivor, Spantik, Malubiting, Phuparash, Diran and Rakaposhi tower above the equally impressive Barpu, Minapin and Pisan glaciers. For an ‘aerial’ view of treks in Nagyr that you may have done or are thinking about doing, this is the place to go.

The popular day hike to Hon Pass is steep and strenuous, but well worth the effort. Plan on three to four hours from Ultar Meadow to the pass and 1½ to two hours to return. Those in really good shape can do the entire trip as a day hike from Baltit in eight hours. Carry water from Ultar because there’s no reliable source above.

Looking from Ultar Meadow, Hon Pass is the obvious grassy notch on the ridge south- west of the meadow. Although many people go to Hon, there’s no singles established trail except for the final 20 minutes. From Ultar Meadow, head slightly north- west, and pass the grave of Japanese climber Tsuneo Hasegawa, who died in a 1991 avalanche on Ultar II. Head up along the stream paralleling the base of the cliff. Stay towards the right, and don’t stay too far towards the inviting grass to the left. The relentlessly steep route rewards with increasingly spectacular views. To the south, the Barpu Glacier and peaks above it come into view first as the perspective on Ultar and its icefall becomes more dramatic. Eventually, cross to the left (south) side of the rocky rib dotted with grassy patches to reach a solitary cairn (4115m).

Avoid ascending the gully above the cairn. Follow the visible trail from the cairn south- south- east five minutes towards a distinctive rock outcrop. At the outcrop, the trail makes a sharp right turn and traverses the steep exposed slope 15 minutes to Hon Pass. Cows and Sheep graze on both sides of the pass. Nobody actually crosses Hon Pass, so retrace your steps to Ultar Meadow.

Day 2 : Ultar Meadow to Baltit

1½-2 hours, 3.1km, 770m descent

Be careful not to follow a canal by mistake as you descend the trail along Ultar Nala.