#there’ll be some writing about this character too

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Same Team! A YJH Office Romance Pt. 3

Idol!Jeonghan x ProductionStaff!Reader

You’re serious about your job, but not as serious as Yoon Jeonghan is about flirting.

~1.4k words

Read Part 1 and Part 2

Series Content: slooowwwwww burn, fluff!, cute flirting!, will-they-won’t-they vibes!, tension!!, office crushes, office romance, appearances by all of the members, reader is shy and gets flustered easily!, jeonghan is jeonghan-ing!

My Masterlist

Author’s Note: Thank you all for reading! I’m having so much fun writing this. MC is so shy, and Jeonghan is so direct! My favorite dynamic!! Also, Jiyeon and Daein are completely fictional/not based on any idols! Jiyeon is kind of a stock mean-girl character, sorry! I’m looking forward to writing steamier interactions between Jeonghan and MC soon! <3

Taglist: @yeoberryx (lmk if you want to be added to my taglist!)

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“Y/N-shi.” One of the producers in the room said your name, bringing you out of your daydreaming.

You were in a scheduling meeting to arrange staff for several of the members’ upcoming overseas commitments. You were hopeful that you’d get to travel, though you doubted it. You weren’t exactly experienced, but you did have the fluent-in-English thing going for you. You’d mentioned that you could get by with pretty decent French and Italian, too. So, of course, you were imagining a... business trip with Jeonghan...

“Yes!” you said quickly.

“How do you feel about traveling?”

“Traveling where?”

“Paris.”

“I feel good about it!” You answered politely—and super eagerly, eliciting some chuckles from the room.

“She’s so cute,” Daein said. You and Daein had gotten to know each other better, and when she wasn’t around Jiyeon she was much nicer to you. Still, you felt embarrassed for being overly eager.

“We wanted someone who could speak English and French well,” the producer added, “It’s Fashion Week.”

“Who’s attending this year?” someone asked.

“Mingyu-shi, Jun-shi, Joshua-shi,” another producer at the other end of the room looked through her list, “and Jeonghan-shi.”

You felt your face start to flush immediately.

“Mingyu-shi, Joshua-shi, and Jeonghan-shi will be booked on the same flight,” someone said, your heart pounding harder each time his name was mentioned, “Jun-shi will fly separately, directly from China.”

As the staff continued to fill you in on details... where you’d meet, what time you needed to be there, what to expect from CARATs gathered at the airport...

“The talent will have their own security,” another staff member assured you, “There’ll be a separate security check for us—to get to the gate faster. Most of the fans are perfectly respectful, but don’t hesitate to alert security if anything rings alarms or makes you uncomfortable.”

“Thank you,” you replied politely. “I’ll do my best.”

It had only taken a couple of months working with SEVENTEEN to really hit home that being famous was actually quite difficult. Everywhere they went, their fans seemed to be waiting. Even shoot locations that you knew weren’t made public—a few of them would show up no matter what. The members seemed to handle it graciously. At least, more graciously than you would have been in their position. Some of the fans were pretty intense, and didn’t seem to respect the members’ privacy. But it was a very small number. You’d only seen or heard any of the members get slightly annoyed at most, and only a handful of times.

But if Mingyu was on your flight, you knew the airport was going to be chaotic. He was very popular. And you understood why. He was extremely tall, gorgeous, not to mention very personable. He was easy to talk to, even though you were slightly intimidated at first. He enjoyed speaking English with you, which was nice.

“Y/N-shi,” the head coordinator was assigning details to each member, “you’ll be with Jeonghan-shi.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ll be on his team of staff—each member will have their manager with them, two other staff for extra footage or vlog shooting, and their own security. You’ll be with Jeonghan-ah’s crew. Understood?”

“Yes!”

...What the hell? Was this really happening? Had you performed some saintly act in a past life? Why were you being bestowed with this kind of luck!?

“Great, we’ll send a car to pick you up at 4:00 AM that Thursday,” the coordinator in charge continued, “be sure you have your passport and at least two cocktail dresses—you’ll be attending the Yves Saint Laurent opening event on Friday, plus the runway show and afterparty on Saturday, so you’ll need appropriate attire. We can offer you a stipend to rent something when you get there if you don’t have anything.”

“Thank you!” and you bowed deeply. The other staff in the room chuckled.

“We’re counting on you,” the coordinator smiled at you.

-

The weeks seemed to drag on. You were so anxious and excited about the trip to Paris that you could hardly concentrate on anything else. You carried out your tasks with your usual efficiency, but your colleagues could tell you were just excited about getting to go to Fashion Week.

“I can’t understand why someone with such poor taste is going on this trip,” Jiyeon sneered as you were packing up equipment in the practice room. The members were gathering their things, sweaty from filming a dance practice video. Some of them were off in various corners doing other TikTok challenges. You were amazed at how quickly they could pick up choreography. You’d worked in entertainment for a long time, but it never stopped amazing you how fast good dancers were at that kind of thing. You hardly took notice of Jiyeon’s tone; you were so busy fantasizing about getting to spend so much time with Jeonghan.

“Hey!” she raised her voice just enough to get your attention, but not so much that it registered with the other staff or the members. You turned to her, trying to focus on whatever it is she needed to say, but still unable to contain your giddiness.

“Ugh,” she said, giving you a disgusted look, “don’t let Jeonghan-shi see you being so weird about this.”

“I don’t think she’s being weird.”

There he was, standing right behind Jiyeon. How had he gotten over here? Were you seriously so wrapped up in your own thoughts you hadn’t even seen him walk over to where you and Jiyeon were packing up?

Jiyeon looked like she was about to pass out, and you froze on the spot. Jeonghan was looking right at you, as always. His gaze never wavered when he was looking at you. You always loved it, even though it flustered you, but right now you were so ecstatic that he’d overheard her that it felt like you were floating above the ground.

“Ah! Jeonghan-shi!” Jiyeon put on her best smile, laughing off his remark. “Y/N-shi is always a little weird, we were just joking! Right, Y/N-shi?” You noted that it was the first time she’d bothered using honorifics with you. You didn’t really care, since honorifics weren’t really a thing at the companies you’d worked for in the past, and just not a huge deal in the U.S. at all. But you knew that her dropping them was technically a slight toward you.

“Right,” you said, putting on your best polite smile. You didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. Jiyeon was rude, but she wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle. Also, maybe you were being too weird about this trip. It was purely business... you were probably getting a little carried away. You couldn’t help but look down, worried now that you would creep him out.

“I’d never want to work with someone who wasn’t at least as weird as nuna,” Jeonghan said straightforwardly.

Your heart jumped into your throat.

“Ah, that’s Jeonghan-shi for you!” Jiyeon let out a strained laugh and went back to helping move the equipment, being sure to send you a pointed glare on her way toward the door.

You were left standing there with Jeonghan. You paused, and then bowed toward him.

“Thank you for saying that,” you said in the most formal voice possible. You were so flustered; you didn’t know what to say.

“What are you doing after this?” he asked. His voice was low and direct. 

“What?”

“Are you free right now?”

“...What?”

“I thought your Korean was supposed to be good, nuna.”

You stared at him. He was smiling softly. His gaze was gentle, but there was something mischievous in it. You felt as if your brain had force quit on you.

“Sorry, I... I don’t...” you were lost for words.

“Well, if you’re free after this, Joshua, Dino, and I are going to get some dinner,” he said, running a hand through his long hair. You imagined what it would feel like to run your own hand through it. While peeking up to look at his hair up close—a thing you rarely did, even though you’d had plenty of opportunities by now—your eyes met for a second, and for some reason you steeled yourself and held his gaze.

“Do you want to come?”

“Yes.” You said it without thinking, but the smile on his face nearly knocked you out.

“Good.”

[spreadyovrwings]

Honey, I Can Feel Your Pain

A late night heart-to-heart before the end of the world. Or, two idiots try to talk about their feelings but they’re both demons and not very good at it.

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: my writing/me trying to navigate a complicated character, i cringe therefore i am

A/N: literally just ignore me lol i wanted to see if i could write Alastor well so this is something of a personal challenge and a warm up for me (and i’m obsessed with him) so hopefully i’ve done him justice. there’ll be a part two if anyone wants one!

//

Chapter One

The door to Alastor’s studio was always locked to everyone but you. You weren’t sure how he did it. He was a complete technophobe, so a hidden camera was out of the question. Perhaps he’d cast some sort of spell or could sense you coming. You weren’t sure. All you knew was that if you needed to see him, and Alastor permitted it, his door was always open.

That night, the radio tower was dark and still, the only sound a slow, jazzy number sent oozing over the city and into people’s homes.

You found Alastor at his sound desk, one long finger poised idly on a bakelite dial, as if debating whether to alter the sound his tower produced. His ever-present smile was fixed in place but his lips were closed, his deep red eyes focused.

You tapped your foot against the floor, once, twice, three times, announcing your presence as gently as you could so as not to disturb him too abruptly. It didn’t matter that Alastor had to let you in in the first place, it always seemed impolite to come barging in.

He didn’t look up as you approached but you could tell you had his attention, and when you put your hand on the back of the chair next to his, a question, he answered with a short nod.

“Are you alright?”

Alastor barely moved, his eyes fixed on the glowing buttons and dials in front of him.

“Fine, fine.”

He spoke faintly, airily, with no hint of static, as if he were lost in thought. You couldn’t help feeling like you’d interrupted a private moment.

“It’s just you’ve been locked away in your room for days now.”

“Hard at work! Nothing more.”

As if to prove a point, Alastor wrapped his long fingers around the dial and adjusted the volume, then slid his fingers along the desk to conjure up the next song.

This tune was a lot more uptempo. It wasn’t like Alastor to be so sloppy, you must really have caught him off-guard.

Alastor seemed to realise his mistake too. He turned to you, leaning back in his chair, exuding a confidence and poise that many envied and few saw through.

“Is there something I can help you with, my dear?”

His attention was yours. Too late to go back now.

“You’ve been quiet ever since Charlie came back from Heaven.”

“Well, I-”

“And you don’t go quiet,” you pressed on, refusing to let him chart the course of your conversion. “So what’s wrong?”

The two halves of his face told two different stories. Alastor’s eyes were fiery and guarded, he didn’t like being questioned but you’d cornered him. Below, his smile stretched his skin. You wondered if it hurt.

“I’ve been reviewing the situation,” he said after a thoughtful pause, every word considered and weighed.

“You’ve missed dinner four nights in a row for that? I made all your favourites to try and entice you down, you know.”

Alastor hummed. He wasn’t listening.

“Do you know, for almost one hundred years, I have lived here quite happily. I’ve carved out a nice little niche for myself. And then the princess started getting bright ideas…”

Alastor’s long fingers danced over the faders again but he didn’t move any of them. It seemed to be the habit of a lifetime. Two lifetimes.

“The angels… Unsettled me. And you’re quite right, I don’t get unsettled. It required meditation.”

“The angels unnerved you?”

“Unsettled. But I suppose there’s not much point arguing over semantics. Either way, the result n’est pas bon, cher.”

“What did they say that unsettled you?”

One of Alastor’s ears flicked in irritation. It was a rare thing for him to give away even that much. It was a particular kind of personal hell, for him to have a body that could betray him so visibly. He could rattle everyone with his big grin, he could even hide pain behind walled eyes, but the attributes given to him, gifted to him, shackled to him, when he fell, weren't so easy to control.

“It’s not quite that simple, my dear. The angels are all bluster and hollow virtues. I care very little about what they have to say, the self-righteous...”

He took a breath.

“But then they halved the time till the next Extermination. It’s of little consequence to me. They’re clever enough to leave me alone most of the time and if any angels do try their luck, well, they’re quietly done away with. Plus, it’s just plain old good sport to watch the show.”

You smiled.

“Might have to disagree with you there, handsome.”

Alastor laughed humourlessly, a dry, sharp sound like a bow pulled roughly against violin strings.

“That’s just it, I might too. The issue is… Now it’s only a few weeks away…”

The song changed. Low, smooth, like sand through an hourglass, a single trumpet groaned into life, filling the room before disintegrating and travelling along the airwaves. Was it a distraction? Was Alastor struggling to hold his focus? Who knew? Maybe not even him.

“Alastor,” You leaned forward in your chair, undeterred by his hesitancy. “What’s wrong?”

His gaze slowly slid to you. The close-mouthed smile was back. It was the closest he ever came, or ever could come, to relaxing his expression completely.

“It usually doesn’t bother me,” Alastor murmured, his words barely audible over crackling static.

You frowned.

“But this time it did?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Alastor’s nose wrinkled.

“Because before, I didn’t have you. It was easier. I’ve never relied on anyone or had anyone relying on me. Now there’s the hotel, its inhabitants…”

You remedied the sting with a vacant smile of your own.

“When you say ‘you’, you mean all our friends?”

Alastor shook his head.

“No. No, I was attempting to obfuscate.”

“Oh.”

Alastor stared at you. You stared back. Then, with a clang, the penny dropped.

“Oh!”

“Mm.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Quite.”

You smiled at his sour expression. Your own face was burning but you bravely ignored it.

Your relationship with Alastor had been a nebulous, vague sort of a thing. He was a terrifying colleague to have at the hotel, and at first, you couldn’t be sure why in Hell he was there. He liked to watch others struggle, suffer, and fail miserably, it was all just good entertainment for him. But that couldn’t be all there was behind his sudden interest.

As soon as you figured out that Alastor served himself and himself only, things became a lot clearer, and it was a lot easier to like him. You didn’t have to worry about trusting him, because you couldn’t. You didn’t have to question his motives, you knew they were ill-intentioned and that you were better off not knowing. He liked to pretend he was oh so mysterious, but Alastor was perhaps the most honest person in the hotel.

Mutual respect grew into friendship, into something more. You often went out with Alastor when he required assistance or just wanted some company, and you were always the first person he came to when he got home.

Slowly, incrementally, that trust bloomed. Alastor began to ask for your opinion. You would sit together in companionable silence, reading by the fire long into the night. He didn’t need to ensnare and trick and manipulate you, because you did things for him happily and without question, though within reason.

He was always honest with you, or at least, as honest as he could be without it endangering his own self-preservation. And you respected that. It was a harsh world, you had to look out for yourself, but slowly, so slowly that neither you nor your friends had noticed until it was too late, Alastor had bound his life to yours.

You hadn’t appreciated the depths of that connection. You’d always known you had a soft spot for him, ill-advised as it was, but never in all that remained of your afterlife could you have anticipated a requited affection.

Alastor interlocked his fingers and rested them in his lap, keeping his composure well considering the situation.

“It pains me to think of you in danger.”

You couldn’t help it, you laughed quietly.

“Steady now, Alastor. You sure know how to sweep someone off their feet.”

He’d never rolled his eyes at you, he was far too refined for that, but Alastor gave his equivalent, waving an airy hand at you and soldiering on.

“We have always been close, you and I. Right from the start.”

“That’s not how I remember it but…” You smiled. “I like to think of us as a little team.”

He brightened, his pained smile morphing into something a little more authentic.

“Exactly! A team! But what was once companionship and, admittedly, amusement-”

“Do you mean we have fun together or do you mean amusement at my expense?”

Alastor waved his hand again.

“A little of column A, a little of column B.”

“Wonderful.”

“What I mean to say is… My feelings have evolved somewhat.”

In all the time you’d spent with him, you’d never known Alastor to be so hesitant. In fact, you couldn’t remember a time when you’d seen him show any sign of apprehension. His stitched-on smile was still intact but his clawed fingers drummed against the sound desk and his gaze had been lost in safer ground, somewhere over your shoulder.

“Evolved into what?”

Though your heart was thudding in your ears, you didn’t hesitate to push him. You thought one of the reasons Alastor had grown to enjoy your company so much was that you liked to talk, as well as listen. He got bored so easily and he’d always been a chatterbox; you were one of the few people in his life who could match him in that without any sign of fear or an ulterior motive.

Alastor’s ear flicked again. This was a hard conversation for him.

“The Extermination meant nothing to me before. But now, the thought of it…”

You watched his eyes grow unfocused as his imagination consumed him. His fingers stopped drumming. The song on the radio rose by a few decibels.

“Alastor, it’s okay-”

“It frightens me. And it’s not about self-preservation this time. When I consider how our companions may fare…”

“They’ll be okay.”

“What if I can’t protect you?”

Sensing you might need to ease off, take a breath, anything, you leaned in closer, reaching out for him but never, ever touching him without asking first. Instead, you rested your hand beside his on the desk.

“I don’t need protection, Alastor.”

“Still, I want to keep you safe, my darling. There’s a… A sharp tug here…”

He pressed one clawed hand against his empty chest.

“And here…”

He dragged the same hand down to the pit of his lean stomach.

“When I think about you in any kind of danger.”

How did he always manage to be so charming, even when he didn’t mean to be?

You barely held back a pleased smile. Like Alastor’s, it tugged at the corners of your mouth, threatening to spill over into a stupid, happy grin.

He didn’t have the language for what he felt, that was fine. You and Alastor had always found a way to communicate, even without words. He’d told you more with one gesture than you ever could have expected him to say aloud.

But it wasn't just unexpected, it was completely astonishing. You couldn’t let him sense that though, it might make him retreat into himself. So instead, you turned it back around on him, letting Alastor choose how much he wanted to give away.

“What do you think that could be?”

“I have an idea. But I dread to think.”

Alastor’s eyes narrowed slightly, and you knew you were on the same page.

It would be difficult for him, far more than it had been for you, to pin down and explore and accept the feelings you had for each other. You hadn’t been able to figure out a better word for whatever it was that fizzled between you, though, like Alastor, you had a sneaking suspicion and it terrified you.

Nothing sounded right. Logically, you knew there were some words that ought to fit, but acknowledging them felt like wearing someone else’s shoes.

You couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for Alastor to come to terms with it all. So it surprised you when he slid his hand over yours.

It wasn’t the first time you’d touched, he was always holding out his arm for you, patting the top of your head, often even lifting your hand to his lips when he greeted you in the mornings or bade you goodnight. But this wasn’t a fleeting brush of his hand against yours, this was sustained, purposeful contact, and it meant something, to both of you.

Alastor’s gaze still couldn’t meet yours, so he stared at your hands, his close-mouthed smile back in place.

“I’ve grown quite fond of you,” he said quietly, and it was just his voice you could hear, no static, no sound effects, just Alastor.

You smiled.

“I’ve grown quite fond of you too, handsome. I get the same feeling.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, all the time.”

“Oh, well, that’s reassuring, at least.” Alastor finally met your eyes, his head tilted quizzically to one side. “Have you told anyone?”

“What, and admit I’m in love with the Radio Demon? No thanks, I’d never live it down.”

Feedback shot through the room, a grating, warped sound, like someone had held a microphone too close to a speaker. It was hard to tell if the sound emanated from the mixing desk or from Alastor himself, but his scarlet eyes were wide.

His hand tightened over yours, though it was more likely out of surprise than him trying to give you comfort. The tips and edges of his sharp claws dug into your skin, not enough to hurt, but it still made your jaw clench.

Alastor, to his credit, didn’t seem as put off by the admission than you might’ve expected. Maybe he wasn’t surprised by the actual sentiment, just that you’d finally said the words out loud.

You smiled.

With just a week or so left until an Extermination that would surely kill you all, there wasn’t much room left in your damned soul for shyness. It wasn’t an all-out ‘if this is my last chance to say it’ confession. You and Alastor had always appreciated candour, and with so little time left, why not say what you were both thinking?

“Have you spoken about it with anyone?”

Alastor shrugged.

“Well, yes, I’m doing it now.”

“No, I meant someone you can trust. Someone you can talk about your feelings with.”

Alastor watched you blankly.

A second penny dropped.

“Oh.”

You had to resist the urge to shiver under his heavy stare.

“You couldn’t talk to Rosie?”

“I considered it but, bless her heart, my old friend can be a sentimentalist. No, best just to get to the source of the problem.”

“Alastor…”

You huffed, pretending to be insulted, and Alastor’s smile once again looked a little more real. It met his eyes, open, unguarded and calm.

“So, what would you like to do about it?”

“Hmm,” Alastor raised the hand that had covered yours to tap one long finger against his chin. “Any chance you’d let me lock you away in a secret, impenetrable bunker?”

Your smile grew.

“Sorry, honey.”

Alastor tutted.

“I thought as much.”

“Do you have one of those?”

“Hm?”

“A secret, impenetrable bunker.”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out, my dear. You’ll just have to be particularly careful. And perhaps this… Feeling will go away with time.”

You smiled, barely resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Perhaps it will.”

“When I’m right, I’m right, my darling.”

”That’s not the expression and you know it.”

//

Master List

[screampied]

Any suggestions on how to write smut

yuh! i can’t speak for everyone but these are some things that help me 💛🌟.

tag things properly: tagging your kinks, warnings are really important. it’s normal to forget a few things after you post smth, i have a few times and you can always change it later — but make sure to list every or just about every kink/thing that’s happened (ex: fem! afab! /etc.) and for kinks such as (ex. dumbification, spanking, daddy kink) some things that aren’t tagged properly may end up triggering someone. always specify the reader beforehand.

synonyms are your best friend: i mean like, you’re gonna eventually find yourself thinking you’re repeating words. maybe you’re like “how many variations of 'thrust' can i use?” use a thesaurus! i use wordhippo and its a really good resource to strengthen your word structure, especially if you have a hard time with building up pace.

be dramatic: this is fiction, it’s okay to have fun in your writing. when you’re writing smut, not everything has to be so serious—in real life, there’s lots of awkward and silly moments! have fun, don’t be worried about whether this character won’t do this or say that, it’s your story.

do research: whether you have irl experience or not, it’s completely fine to do research! maybe you’re trying to fully describe a certain position. there’s no shame in it, besides the more descriptive, the better!

don’t rush through it: take your time, it’s different for everyone but i know that writing actual smut takes a bit long sometimes. rushing through smut scenes will make it feel not as natural, a build up in between / during scenes are sometimes very important. sometimes a tip to help not rush through scenes is outline it beforehand. jot down certain brief things you want to happen before fully executing it. once you feel like it’s a good time to end it, you’ll know!

be captivating: when writing smut, you kinda wanna do certain things that may catch a reader's eye. whether it’s aesthetics, a good synopsis, or even a few steamy paragraphs before the read more! your synopsis doesn’t have to be too long, but make it a strong sentence or two giving a brief summary of your piece. before you go to the read more break, write a bit in a captivating way to where someone would want to click read more and read your entire post!

be patient: lastly, be patient. whether you’ve been writing smut for years, months, or even a few days, at the end of the day it takes time. it takes time to build up and be comfortable with your writing and your own personal writing style. there’ll be some days where you feel like you’re not getting enough recognition or feel like your work isn’t good enough compared to others—that’s totally valid to feel that way! the important thing to remember is that, try to have fun. don’t force yourself to write, take breaks when necessary. you won’t be able to master the writing of smut in a single day, just practice and you got this !!!

there’s probably more stuff i’m leaving out but this is the most i could think of heh. hope this helps u love!

[zepskies]

Why We Love the Boys

As promised, here is my review of Supes Ain’t Always Heroes. I actually used to write book reviews in my high school journalism days, so here we go!  

What this book is: A masterful deep dive. A study on character psychology, the source of the comic and show’s inspiration, and the narrative themes illustrated in The Boys that parallel American culture and our real lives.

It includes interviews from one of the comic’s creators, Darick Robertson, The Krip himself (Eric Kripke), and actors Jim Beaver (Robert Singer), Aya Cash (Stormfront), Chace Crawford (The Deep), Jessie T. Usher (A-Train), Nathan Mitchell (Black Noir), and of course, Jensen Ackles (Soldier Boy).

It also includes a small but significant ode to the creativity of fans and fandom (with a mention of fanfic writers)!

I’ll admit, I felt seen. 😊

Who wrote it: Psychologists Lynn S. Zubernis and Matthew Snyder. Zubernis is a self-proclaimed fangirl of not only this show, but Supernatural and Eric Kripke in general. (That aspect definitely comes through in her writing.)

She is also editor of Family Don’t End with Blood: Cast and Fans on How Supernatural Changes Lives and There’ll Be Peace When you Are Done: Actors and Fans Celebrate the Legacy of Supernatural. Both of which I now want to read.

Several other authors also contributed to this book, as their expertise and backgrounds lend to the subjects they’re covering, such as racism, sexism, the entertainment industry, the comic’s inception, and more.

Who wants to read this book: Anyone who enjoys learning about what makes characters tick. What drives their choices, their sense of morality and justice, and their trauma and strife that lead them to do heinous things. This book will help you better understand your favorite characters (and how to write about them).

Perhaps most importantly, this book is for anyone who wants to read it put into words, why many of us love The Boys, as well as Supernatural.

In a way, the latter is more escapism entertainment than The Boys. Because in this show, there isn’t much, if any escape.

Despite this being a “superhero show,” as we all know, it’s so much more than that. It’s a mirror held directly into our own faces: about why we enjoy heroes and antiheroes, and excuse the “bad behavior” of the ones we like.

About mental health, grief and loss, nature and nurture, coping mechanisms and the importance of choice in dealing with trauma; of racism, sexism, misogyny, weaponized social media, politics, corporate greed, and the power (and cruelty) of good marketing.

This book explores the true villain of the story (and it ain’t Homelander).

I’m going to get into my favorite aspects of this book—as well as an amazing chapter on Soldier Boy’s character study (and why we love him, perhaps too much).

Though in my opinion, it was missing one small, but key thing…

The Mirror of The Boys on Screen

This world is a gritty, bloody, and at times all-too realistic take on how superheroes would be if they lived in our world.

They are the worst of celebrities, professional athletes, and politicians all rolled into one. They are the shiny products of a company and are marketed as such. And they often buy into their own hype.

Some of my favorite quotes on this topic:

“The Boys often reflects darkness in our real world that is uncomfortable to watch. While we go through the tedium of our daily lives, trying to get by and using television or comics as an escape, it can feel difficult and overwhelming to confront the very real and insidious sources of authoritarianism, nationalism, and corporatism that are not just part of a story. “This show holds up a mirror and forces us to catch a glimpse of things we need to question, and asks us why we so easily believe the talking points of systems with marketing departments and press flacks behind them that carefully massage every word in order to get us to feel enamored with their product or policy.” (p. 227-228)

“The Boys works to reveal the nonaltruistic, sociopathic nature of contemporary US corporate culture. In a sense, The Boys uses the behavior of its characters to diagnose not an individual, but a culture.” (255)

In studying narrative I’ve learned that the best fiction and art serve to reflect the human experience. In this case, it’s something The Boys does expertly, even though it’s packaged in extreme, shocking, and often uncomfortable ways. But also in brutal, hilarious satire that’s fun to watch.

It “exposes real-world abuses, revealing many” of our own frustrations in American culture and in life in general (267).

Major Themes & Questions Explored

Several Boys themes are explored from a psychological, cultural, and narrative point of view, as I mentioned earlier. These are some of my favorite segments:

Toxic Masculinity & Narcissism

A whopper in The Boys, and the main theme of season 3. This book defines clearly what both of these words actually mean from a psychological point of view.

It also takes the bad taste out of your mouth that you might get from just hearing the words “toxic masculinity,” as it’s a phrase that can be carelessly thrown around to describe men and character traits that aren’t truly toxic.

How being emotionally available to your loved ones and not repressive of your feelings doesn’t make you weak, or less of a man. And how “being strong” doesn’t mean being physically violent and domineering. (AKA: the Big Swinging Dick™️ in the room.)

Narcissism is explored in a very interesting way. The book gives a diagram of different aspects of narcissists and how each character (Soldier Boy, Homelander, Butcher, and the Deep) falls into them.

Soldier Boy, for example, is classified as a “Classic Narcissist,” while Homelander a “Malignant Narcissist.” <- This will play into SB’s character study, and the main difference between SB and Homelander.

Butcher, however, displays narcissistic tendencies but is not, in fact, a narcissist. (More of an antisocial sociopath. Yay for him.)

Misogyny & Sexism

The classic superhero world of comics dates back to the 1930s and ‘40s. It has been, and in many respects still is a (White) male-dominated industry, where in narrative, female superheroes typically work under a male leading the team, as in Justice League, Teen Titans, and the Avengers.

As much as I love DC and Marvel comics, female characters have also been drawn wildly sexual for male readers and the male gaze, and non-supe characters have been written primarily as love interests and damsels for the hero to save. (Think Lois Lane, Lana Lang, and Mary Jane.)

Modern adaptions have given female characters more agency, but their foundations were rooted in underlying sexism and the mythic hero—an Odysseus-type with certain characteristics of male strength and heroism. And that goes all the way back to classic literature, like The Odyssey, Beowulf, and the Epic of Gilgamesh.

In The Boys, the female supes go through the same issues as their comic counterparts. And they are treated how women are treated in the real world—marketable as sexual objects. (Starlight’s forced costume change is a prime example.)

Author Danielle Turchiano argues in the book that the women in power at Vought (Madelyn Stillwell, later Ashley) are given only so much power as men like Stan Edgar and Homelander give to them.

Stillwell, Ashley, and even Stormfront “drink the Kool Aid” of the misogynistic infrastructure of Vought, but they’re not truly “powerful” in and of themselves. (112)

And I would add that the only female characters that have or find true agency are Grace Mallory, Annie January/Starlight, and Maggie Shaw/Queen Maeve. Even Victoria Neuman is trying to work the political schematic and Vought by operating “within the system” Vought has created.

Mental Health, Trauma & Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

This is a huge section, and rightly so. It kind of spans throughout the book, really, because all of these characters have traumas that inform who they are as adults making the (often grotesque) choices they make.

For many of these characters, it stems from their upbringing and fraught relationships with their parents, whether explicitly or implicitly explored in the show.

Butcher: Is an antisocial sociopath with narcissistic tendencies. Arrogant, emotionally manipulative, violent, and obsessive. He was also physically and emotionally abused by his father, led to use drinking and violence as a means to cope and express himself. His rage is so deep under his skin—he loathes himself for it (and his father), but struggles immensely to escape it.

Homelander: A malignant narcissist, the height of arrogance, and emotionally manipulative. He lacks empathy for others' pain, and in fact enjoys inflicting it. Yet he was a sensitive, gentle child who only wanted connection and love. Vogelbaum raised him like a lab rat and fostered him in a cold, detached cell. He was raised to be entitled and to believe he was an all-powerful god, the lord of his own kingdom within his mind, excused from the responsibility of his actions.

Soldier Boy: Also a narcissist; violent, arrogant, misogynistic, and often indifferent to the damage he causes, emotional or physical. Yet he was also emotionally abused by his father, who set high and exacting standards for what it meant to be a man. It drives Ben to try and prove his worth to his father, though he’s never able to. It fosters the lack of self-worth he feels as he seeks validation through fame and what he believes power to be.

These three characters have many similarities, but also notable differences that set them apart from one another. And both Butcher and Soldier Boy use substances like drugs and alcohol to cope with their traumas—ones that their forced stoicism and sense of manhood won’t allow them to easily express.

“We see Soldier Boy use substances almost continuously in season three to deal with his PTSD from the childhood emotional abuse he received from his father, the betrayal and assault from his team, and the torture he endured from the Russian scientists.

“In the short term, the use of drugs and alcohol to avoid thoughts and feelings about traumatic experiences can be felt as helpful, but in the long term, it hinders one’s ability to process emotions and can cause a deeper depression from the guilt and shame of both avoidance and substance abuse.” (27)

Heroes, Antiheroes & Villains

This book explores two key questions that the show encourages you to think about:

Who the hell is the hero of this story?

And who is the villain?

The surface-level answer is that Homelander and other supes like him are the villains, and Butcher and his band of bros are the heroes (or antiheroes). But they commit just as questionable, sketchy, and downright murderous acts as the supes they’re trying to take down.

“Butcher is not really a good guy. He’s manipulative and self-centered. His reasons for wanting to take down Homelander are utterly personal. That it serves the greater good is almost a coincidence.” (9)

And if Butcher is not a hero, but a vengeful vigilante, then why do we root for him so much?

Well, we see his incredible flaws. But I sympathize with his struggle in losing his wife and the life he could've continued to have with her. I root for the underdog going against the hydra head of Vought and the psychopathic Homelander.

And I see in Butcher, as I also do with Homelander and Soldier Boy, their traumas and their internal conflicts, their deep-rooted self-loathing, and a desire, deep, deep down…to be loved.

(And to foster connection with others, even if they’re unable to sustain them.)

On the flipside, we have antagonists in this show who do truly heinous things. What makes them compelling and even sympathetic, yet again, are their painful upbringings that have shaped them to be who they are. The supes of this show are byproducts of being treated like products.

Like the saying goes: Villains aren’t born, they’re made.

That’s why the real villain of this story is Vought International. It’s an allegory, and an indictment of the ruthless corporate greed that pervades American culture—and much of the world.

It’s why Stan Edgar is sometimes scarier to me than even Homelander (and was the true villain of my story, Break Me Down), if far more insidious.

Speaking of BMD, let’s get to it, shall we?

Here’s a (lot) bit about the Soldier Boy section of the book.

Soldier Boy: Why We Can’t Hate Him

I had to laugh out loud at the title of Soldier Boy’s chapter:

Loving the Villain: The Confusing Case of Soldier Boy

I’m not gonna lie. I felt called out. 😂

It is a confusing dichotomy. Soldier Boy is an absolute asshole. Misogynistic, narcissistic, arrogant, callous, violent…

But also deeply traumatized, a man-out-of-time, emotionally abused, byproduct of the historically and culturally different time he was raised in, a man who just doesn’t get it…

And also charming, adorably grumpy, and undoubtedly attractive.

It’s hard to indict “Ben” as an unredeemable villain in the same way I do Homelander, the psychologist-labelled Malignant Narcissist.

Therein lies the main difference between Soldier Boy and Homelander: Soldier Boy doesn’t take joy in harming others the way Homelander does. But he still harms people, whether he means to or not.

Zubernis confirms many of my own conclusions and ideas about Soldier Boy, and why I still rooted for him to be better, and didn’t want him to die at the end of season 3.

As Zubernis rightly exclaimed during her own watch of the finale: “Noooo, don’t kill the Danger Grandpa Baby Murder Kitten!” (175)

Because Jensen did what he does best in his roles: He made us feel Ben’s pain.

“What’s funny is, in regard to Jensen playing Soldier Boy, you know he’s fucking fantastic, he’s just so good at bringing the audience, and it’s almost like—what I laugh about is, he was probably a little too good at his job!” Kripke said. (180)

And he continues, “In part it’s because of the fandom. So many people took his side in the finale, they’re like, Were’s on his side, fuck everyone! And you’re like, but he’s the bad guy and he’s trying to kill a ten-year-old.”

Were there fans who held this viewpoint? I’m sure. There are some radicals who don’t give a fuck and will side with their favorite character, come whatever. But while I can’t speak for others, that’s not how I interpreted that moment in the season 3 finale.

Yes, I think Soldier Boy was (wrongfully) willing to fight Ryan. Do I think he would’ve killed him? I’m not sure. I think he would’ve done what he had to do to get Ryan out of his way in his fight with Homelander. Maybe he would’ve been more violent than he intended, in the callous collateral damage he’d shown throughout the season, or maybe he would’ve gone that far, if provoked.

It’s a tough call, as I think this character can go one way or the other in terms of his “villain” nature. We just haven’t seen enough of him in the series yet for me to make that conclusion on the canon-version of Soldier Boy. (In fanfic, I’ve explored my own interpretation.)

But overall, I think The Krip once again underestimated the power of Jensen’s acting.

…And the ardent nature of his mostly female fanbase. 😂

Why We Love Soldier Boy

The author cites multiple reasons for why we love Ben more than we probably should:

It’s Jensen Ackles. Fair enough. His talent speaks for itself.

Soldier Boy’s backstory: He was emotionally abused by his father and as a result, he has a complex regarding his self-worth, “something to prove,” and a secret need for attention, validation, and praise.

He has trauma and PTSD: He is displaced from what is familiar to him and confused when the boys find him, and that is the least of it. He’s been tortured for 40 years. Can you even conceive of that?

He’s charming: in a sexy grandpa, adorably grumpy, lovable asshole kind of way.

We’re drawn to danger: dangerous “edgy” types are fun, especially when you’re physically attracted to the character.

He has his moments of vulnerability: Jensen’s ability to play the nuance in the character is the ultimate draw. I felt his pain, could see his torture, and his resulting PTSD. He longs for a family, even if his ability to bring up those children is questionable at best. 😅

But I think the one aspect the author doesn’t consider is the character’s capacity for change.

Soldier Boy’s Potential

Again, I don’t think you can write off Soldier Boy’s potential for positive character development the same way you can Homelander, or even Butcher.

For one thing, we just haven’t spent enough time with the character. A lot of his collateral damage after he escapes imprisonment has been accidental, or PTSD-induced. Though we can’t discount how he murdered M.M.’s grandfather via collateral damage (and was callous about it).

I think this is what drew me to write about Soldier Boy. “For all his arrogance, his chauvinism, his massive ego and general bastardry, there’s still humanity in Ben.”

In the book, Nathan Mitchell also says something amazing about his own character (Black Noir) that resonated with me about Soldier Boy as well:

"One of the ingredients of a compelling character is contradiction. How does one aspect of our personality contradict with one another? [...] Who is he underneath? How might his true nature contrast with the demands of his job?"

Or coded for Soldier Boy/Ben: The pressures he puts on himself to be the type of man he thought his father wanted him to be.

Again, his sexist, misogynistic ideals are shaped by the time he was raised in, by being a product of Vought, and of his father’s emotionally abusive upbringing. Does this excuse or justify all of his behavior? Of course not.

But I think those 40 years in captivity changed him from the careless alpha dog we saw in 1984 Nicaragua…

He admits to Crimson Countess, with tears in his eyes, that he’d loved her. That he waited for her and his team—arguably the only social system he has in his life—to save him. He’s gutted to realize that not only did she and the rest of the team never love him, they hated him. They traded him for nothing. Just to get him out of their lives.

For all he claims to be afraid of nothing, tough as shit, he is afraid when he goes to face Mindstorm. He knows what the supe is capable of, and he visibly takes a shaky breath and tries to steel himself.

For a moment, he drops the “Soldier Boy” persona that he wears like a fine tailored suit. And he tells Butcher that the backstory Vought created for him was a lie; he grew up a rich kid who got sent to boarding school, but flunked out, because "he was a fuck up." And his father couldn’t be bothered to discipline him, implying he didn’t care enough about his own son to even lay a hand on him.

He is reluctant to kill Homelander when he finds out he’s Ben’s son (sort of). He even claims that he would’ve been willing to share the spotlight “with his own son.” — Something I doubt even Homelander would do.

Ben even seems to be fighting tears when he levies the same vitriol at Homelander that his own father did at him:

Homelander: “Weak? I’m you.”

Soldier Boy: “I know. You’re a fucking disappointment.”

Let me be clear. I don’t think it’s up to someone to change him (like a love interest). I don’t subscribe to that thinking, that a woman can “change” a man.

For example: In season 2, Butcher tells Becca, “Who was I before you? Nothing.”

And yet, she tells him that he put her on an unrealistic and unsustainable pedestal, in which she felt like she wasn’t allowed to fully be herself, unable to keep him from flying off the handle in rage. That kind of relationship (where one is dependent on the other to “keep them in check”) doesn’t work as a lasting, satisfying redemption arc, and it doesn’t work in real life either.

I do think, however, that a person is capable of change if they’re broken down enough (pun intended), and if they themselves have a desire to change. Someone they encounter can inspire them to be better, like Butcher with Hughie. That person can help support the other.

At the end of the day, however, it’s Ben that has to want to change.

If he wants love and connection, he’ll have to somehow want it, and try (and sometimes fail) to get it, thereby giving him agency and a redemptive character arc.

Now, obviously, it’s up to The Krip where Ben goes from here. He seems to have a more indicting vision of the character than I do (at least, so far). But we’ll see! The fan demand to bring back the character has already had Kripke confirming that Soldier Boy will be back.

Maybe it will encourage him to give the character a more satisfying ending than Dean Winchester got in Supernatural. Though granted, that one wasn’t his doing, apparently he was in favor of the ending the writers came up with.

Comparing Dean & Ben

In his interview segment, Jensen talks about what, if any, are the comparisons between Dean Winchester and Soldier Boy. AKA: Wanting a father’s approval, and an undercurrent of “John Wayne”-esque masculinity in John Winchester that Dean sought to emulate.

Jensen also talks about where he drew from to not only embody the character of Soldier Boy, but bring nuance to him—and show the peeks of vulnerability under the bravado and stoicism.

“He’s so fragile and his ego is fragile. Just like Homelander. These bigger-than-life powerful heroes really have a glass jaw… “And everyone walks on eggshells around him [Soldier Boy], and they tell him that they love him, and it’s the same with Homelander. Then when all of a sudden he faces his old team and Crimson Countess says we never loved you, we hated you—that’s a gut punch for him. Because even though on some level he may have known that, he never thought he would hear it. “And he probably propped himself up around trying to believe otherwise, because how can you walk around knowing everyone you’ve ever cared about hates you? It’s too painful.” (191)

It really is. And I inherently felt this about Soldier Boy/Ben when I watched season 3 for the first time. That’s exactly what I got from his performance and thought, there’s more to this guy than the toxic masculinity he represents.

This guy just wants to be loved, like everyone else. He wants to feel important, and even after his father’s dead, “show him” that Ben is the man his father wanted him to be. And so, he bought into the illusion Vought painstakingly crafted for him.

Whether he can come back from that remains to be seen. But I choose to be optimistic until evidence points to the contrary. 😅 (We’ll see in season 4!)

So that’s my personal take on Soldier Boy and this awesome book. 💚 Thank you again @kaleldobrev for recommending it to me! I hope you all enjoyed my long-winded review and want to check this out.

And if you do read it, I hope to read your thoughts as well!

Tagging people who said they wanted to read my review on this book: @venus-haze @jessjad @kristophalis @sl33pylilbunny

[envyq00]

I DID IT. I FINISHED THE COVER ART FOR MY AU. It’s a redo of an older piece I did a while back. There’ll be another I’ll make in the future but yeah!! I’m super excited bc now that I finished this, when finals are done, I’ll finally be able to post comics for my AU! AAAA we’re almost there!!!

For those who don’t know, Beyond the Yellow Brick Road is my AU of the Stanley Parable, detailing the origins of Employee 432 and how they become the Timekeeper. It also goes into depth about the relationship between the Narrator and 432. (Btw, for those who might be confused or don’t know, I turned my Stanleysona into Employee 432, so now they’re the same character XD).

I’m hoping to get the story out through various comics, maybe some writing and animatics! Mainly comics tho cuz my biggest inspiration for this project is the Lab Rat comic for Portal.

I’ve been working on this since December and it’s taken over my brain for a good chunk of time now. So I hope I can successfully get it to infect your brains too hehehhehe.

I’ll probably be posting the comics and all related information collectively on my toyhouse or smth. It’ll also be available on DeviantArt! I’ll figure it out.

[tinybirbwrites]

Guilty Pleasure (Dick Grayson/Reader)

Hello, hi. This started as a vent fic, then it became super silly and fun and longer than expected. No warnings except for some swearing, just silly fluff and crack. Reader is gender-neutral. Also I had Gotham Knights Dick in mind while writing, the game really grew on me lmao.

You often wondered whether Dick had a sixth sense for your mood. Each time you were upset about something, he would either somehow end up finding out about it, or unknowingly comfort you in some way. 

Watched a sad movie while Dick was away? Look at your phone; Dick either just sent you a meme, pun, or a sweet little message to brighten your day. Unhappy about what you saw in the mirror? Just you wait; Dick always seemed to have a heartfelt compliment ready for you. Lonely? Worry not; Dick already made plans to come over and glue himself to you for several hours.

This time was no different. Just twenty minutes after you saw something hurtful on social media, Dick plopped down next to you on the couch and wrapped a casual arm around your shoulders. 

“Hey, wanna watch a dumb movie together and cuddle?”

Hell yeah.

-

The movie did turn out to be super dumb—a crazy woman summoning the spirit of her dead killer husband into a fake christmas tree, who then goes on a murderous rampage as a christmas tree? Really? But it was exactly what you needed at that moment. 

You were crying and laughing through the stupidity of it all, switching between actually paying attention because of what was happening or because Dick was actively commenting on it, and thinking back to the post you saw that upset you in the first place. Dick didn’t ask, but he kept giving you comforting squeezes and rubbed slow circles over your back the whole time. 

As the credits started rolling and you finally got over how weird the movie was, Dick stroked a careful thumb over the tear-trails on your cheek. “Alright, well, now that we’ve gone through all five stages of grief together… You wanna tell me about it?” 

You leaned back with a shaky exhale. “Well, you know how I like to read and write fanfiction?” At his nod, you continued, “Well, there’s a subgenre called ‘reader inserts.’ They’re… basically exactly what the title implies. They’re written with you as the main character, and most of the time it’s with a romantic plot point at the focus. It’s something I like to consume for comfort, because it feels nice to read about yourself meeting your favorite characters and interacting with them, doing things together that you’ll never be able to in real life, right? And there’s a lot of well written fics out there that I enjoy a lot, but of course, as with everything, there’s also not so good ones. And the tragic part is, the not so good ones are the only thing that other people who aren’t interested in this subgenre see and know about, so reader inserts get a pretty bad rep. And I get it, I’ve also seen the bad ones, and there’s… a lot of porn, too. I understand it can be frustrating to see when you really don’t want to, but shaming people for writing and reading it just… hurts, you know? It really hurts.”

Dick was silent for a while, frowning. “Sadly, there’ll always be people who get upset about things they don’t like or don’t understand. Some are mature about it, and some aren’t. I’m guessing you saw someone complaining?”

You sighed and nodded, tiredly rubbing a hand over your forehead. “Yeah.” You didn’t feel like elaborating on what the person said specifically, it would only upset you more. Maybe you’d sent a screenshot to Dick later, but right now you just wanted to forget about it.

Dick hummed. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It really sucks when you’ve gotta deal with people hating something you love and care about. And I know it’s easier said than done, but… don’t focus on that negativity. Focus on the good stuff. You’ve talked about getting a lot of positive feedback on your own writing before, yeah? Focus on that. People love what you write, and you love other people’s writing, that means there’s a community where you can all share what you love with each other, and that’s a beautiful thing. Some people just aren’t into the same stuff, they don’t get it, so sometimes they’ll complain about it to feel better. It’s hurtful, yeah, but remember that they’re not targeting you specifically. It’s their problem, the issues often lie within themselves. From what you said, it sounds like they’re just shitting on something they don’t wanna see because they don’t like or care about it. They’re not offering constructive criticism, so really, you don’t have to concern yourself with them. Try to distance yourself from their words, be proud of what you do and who you are. Okay?”

You mulled over his words for a moment, digesting them bit by bit, and eventually, you managed a smile. “Yeah, okay.” You turned your head and leaned closer to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks.”

When you looked at him, the expression on his face was almost shy. “You’re always welcome. I’m just glad I could help somehow.”

-

Days later, Dick came to you with an excited smile on his face, and you watched as he sat down and pulled out his phone. “So, since you told me about reader inserts, I’ve done some research to better understand what you meant. I wanted to know more about what you enjoy.”

Oh no. “Oh. Really?” you said, a lot calmer than you actually felt.

He grinned, unaware of your growing horror. “Yep! So, I wasn’t sure what to look for at first, but eventually I searched for reader inserts that included some of the media I personally enjoy. I found a few I actually liked a lot! But, uh, I get what you meant with there being a lot of porn.”

You hid your face in your hands with a chortle, feeling heat quickly traveling to your cheeks at the mental image of Dick reading smut fics out of pure curiosity to learn more about what you were passionate about. “Yeah…”

Suddenly, Dick brightened. “Also! You won’t believe it, but I found a lot of Nightwing reader inserts! Some got recommended to me because of my search history, and I got really curious, so—”

OH NO.

“I was so amazed at how many there are! Ah, of course, lots of porn too. Can’t really fault anyone for that, I mean, I know people love my butt, so it only makes sense. Still, feels kinda weird. I started reading a few because I just couldn’t help it, and isn’t it kind of funny? It’s like a story about me making out with myself! Anyway, I found a few really good ones, a lot of them were from the same author—”

Oh God, please, anything but this—

Dick scrolled through his phone for a moment, then turned it around to show you what he found. You felt your soul leave your body.

It was your very own profile picture that stared back at you. 

It was your blog. 

It was your writing. 

Your Nightwing fanfics. 

He went on, completely undeterred by your stunned silence. “I know it sounds kind of narcissistic of me to say, but you should totally give this person’s stuff a read! They’re really good! I felt weirdly immersed, reading about being in love with, well, myself. Pining after… myself. Never thought I’d feel so strongly about that, but here I am. There’s one story that I’m hoping will get a second part some day, actually. I’m thinking I should maybe leave a comment. You think it’d be too much to do that with my Nightwing account?” 

Oh. Oh, thank God. Dick didn’t know it was you.

You subtly cleared your throat. “Uhm. Yeah, I think commenting as Nightwing would be a bit much.”

It was an older account—you actually hadn’t uploaded anything for a while now, but most of them were about Nightwing.

It had started off with the usual go-to scenarios of Nightwing saving reader while on patrol, something he’d actually done for you a few times now, which was what inspired you to scroll through the Nightwing x Reader tag in the first place. Then you decided you would give in and post some of your own for the public to see as well. Anonymously, of course. You’d never pin your actual name to that particular guilty pleasure of yours. 

The more you wrote, the more you started to wonder about what if scenarios. 

What if Dick Grayson was Nightwing? You’d noticed that they shared a lot of similarities; a love for puns, a charming smile, a kind heart, perfect hair, and, uhm… A nice body, too. You’d never written out this theory for the public eye, but in your head, you’d started imagining Dick being the one behind the mask, which fuelled your writing even more as you poured your feelings into them. 

You knew it was kind of a No-No to write about actual, existing people. It wasn’t something you usually did, either, nor were you very proud of it. But you just couldn’t help it—you’d been pining after Dick and Nightwing separately for years now, venting about it in the form of self-indulgent writing, until you eventually figured out they were both one and the same person. 

Of course you’d fallen head over heels in love with Dick, it was practically impossible not to; He had a stupidly big heart and a stupidly big butt. Finding out these two ridiculously attractive and caring people were actually one guy? That only served to intensify your feelings by, like, a hundred.

You hadn’t mentioned this realization to Dick, but it got more and more difficult not to as time went on. Until finally, one day, Dick confessed his vigilante identity to you, stating he trusted you and felt it was only fair if you knew. He felt bad about having to lie to you and keep making up excuses about his bruises and why he had to cancel plans every time something big happened that Nightwing had to take care of.

You were too scared to tell him about your feelings, especially after realizing you’d been writing reader insert fanfics about him all this time. It was one thing to just imagine Dick being Nightwing, but it was another to actually know it was him. You were lucky and very happy to even be friends with this amazing guy, and you weren’t about to ruin that by confessing your shameful sins to him.

You knew it was extra weird to write not only about an actual person, but about your friend. You’d never written any smut—that was something you just couldn’t let yourself do, it felt too wrong, even before you found out about Dick’s secret. 

You knew he took all the sexually charged comments on his Nightwing persona in good stride. He actually seemed to glow from all the praise, even feeding into it by laying on the charm extra thick sometimes when on patrol, always insisting Nightwing should never wear a cape so his precious butt wouldn’t be covered up. You also knew that he himself as Richard Grayson was a very popular guy, handsome and charming, a “well dressed golden retriever,” as some people liked to describe him. 

But you also knew that there was a line, and you felt like you were definitely crossing it by writing reader inserts about your best friend and crush. Though you did stop writing them after finding out about who Nightwing really was—it just felt too weird to keep posting more at that point.

Argh, who were you kidding? Either way, it was definitely still weird that you hadn’t immediately deleted your whole blog afterwards. It didn’t matter that Dick was currently unknowingly blowing up your phone with excited comments and likes on several of your Nightwing x Reader fics. You pulled it out and glanced at your screen as it lit up. Ah, he was also sending you all the links so you could read them for yourself. 

Is this how Dick felt when people talked about Nightwing in front of him, not knowing it was him they were talking about? You certainly felt like you had a top secret persona now. 

Despite your conflicted feelings on the matter and the rising shame in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile at Dick’s genuine enthusiasm. And his comments were all very nice, too. 

Maybe… Maybe he would be okay with it, knowing it was you. Maybe he’d laugh about it. Maybe he’d even be flattered. You knew it would be impossible to keep this to yourself forever, especially since Dick was so easy to open up to. But not now. Definitely not now.

-

A few months later, Tim mentioned your username during a group conversation. In his defense, he probably thought it was common knowledge—you knew he wouldn’t reveal something as big as this on purpose if he thought it wasn’t a big deal. You were using the same username for several other accounts on other websites as well, all connected to your second email address, the one you hadn’t shared with Dick or the others, so you hadn’t actually expected them to ever look into it and find out.

How very foolish of you. You just hoped Tim hadn’t read any of your fanfics as well.

While you’d tried to appear calm and unaffected on the outside, you could feel yourself slowly dying on the inside, melting from the sheer amount of mortification you were experiencing.

You couldn’t look Dick in the eyes ever since. 

While he hadn’t mentioned anything directly, you could tell the clogs inside his head had already turned enough for him to connect the dots. He knew. Fucking shit, he knew. 

Several days went by. You kept casually sending messages to him, sharing memes and other every-day things like always, and he did the same. But you could tell he knew and wanted to say something, but didn’t because he could tell you were highly uncomfortable with him knowing. 

He was nice like that. Goddammit. 

And then, one evening, as you contemplated finally deleting your whole account and sending an official apology to Dick (you would definitely have to do that, you just didn’t know what to say and where to start), your phone lit up with a new message. 

From Dick. 

You stared at the notification for a long moment, dreading what you’d find once you opened it, until your eyes started to burn and you had to force yourself to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

Don’t jump to any conclusions now, you told yourself. Just open the damn message and see for yourself.

You procrastinated by going to the bathroom first. Then walked around the kitchen in search of something to eat, only to realize you were too anxious to actually eat anything. 

So you took your damn phone and clicked on the damn notification, holding your damn breath as you read Dick’s messages. 

(Dick) 21:32 : Hey, so, I had some ideas for a sequel regarding your last Nightwing story

(Dick) 21:33 : Hear me out

(Dick) 21:35 : What if Nightwing went over to reader’s place

(Dick) 21:35 : and then…

You waited for him to elaborate, maybe send a GIF or something else, but he wasn’t even online anymore. You frowned and started to type a hesitant, confused response, when there was a sudden knock on your living room window, making you flinch and shriek, almost dropping your phone in the process.

Looking up, you saw Dick in his Nightwing suit outside your window, grinning and waving at you. 

You blinked at him for a moment, then quickly walked over to open the window. “Wha—”

“You haven’t posted in a long time,” Dick interrupted you with a smile. “I thought maybe I could help inspire you.” 

“Ins— Inspire?” you repeated, stunned.

You stepped back a little when he started climbing through the window, taking in his appearance with a sense of awe. You’d seen him as Nightwing a few times now, but you never quite got used to it. He was a sight to behold—he always was, whether he was wearing the suit or just his regular clothes, but having Nightwing standing in front of you in your own home always felt a little unreal. It was so form fitting, showing off his muscles and curves, and the mask hiding parts of his face had its very own appeal that you could hardly put into words. 

“I noticed a theme while going through your stories.” Dick’s voice pulled you out of your stupor, and you quickly shut your mouth, only now realizing you’d been gaping at him the whole time. 

You cleared your throat. “A theme?”

“Yeah.” He stepped closer to you, slowly, as if he wanted to check whether you would move away or not. “Nightwing and reader never actually kiss in any of them.”

You thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Then you realized he was waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, uhm. Yeah. I, uh. I just felt kind of weird about that. At first I was just scared you’d maybe find out about my stories some day and be weirded out by them, but later on after you told me about being Nightwing, I also just— It felt wrong to write about kissing you because it felt… too personal? And then I just kinda stopped writing them entirely.”

“Mh-hmm,” he hummed understandingly, stepping even closer, close enough for you to smell his cologne and minty breath. “Not to force my own interpretations onto your writing or anything, but I think Nightwing would definitely be very much into kissing the reader. And seeing how strongly the reader feels about him, I’m guessing it’s something they would want, too?”

You gulped, then managed to croak out a weak, “Yeah.”

He smiled and leaned closer until the tip of his nose shortly brushed yours, pausing for a moment to give you the chance to pull away, then gently pressed his lips to yours. Your breathing hitched, an electrifying sensation running through your whole body, starting from the points where he was touching you. His hands were on your arms, slowly rubbing up and down while he moved his lips against yours just as slowly. Your muscles couldn’t decide whether to stay tense or relax and melt against him, so you did a weird combination of both. 

Unsurprisingly, Dick was a very good kisser. 

After a long moment, he eventually parted from you, leaning back a little to take in your reaction. You couldn’t help but let out a breathless little laugh, stunned by what just happened, and so very fucking happy.

Dick chuckled too, hands gently squeezing your upper arms as if he wanted to hug you. “Was that okay?”

“Absolutely,” you said, without hesitation. “I’m sure all the fics probably gave it away, but I have feelings for you. Strong ones.”

“Well, I didn’t want to make assumptions based on fiction alone,” Dick smiled. “But I’m glad, because I feel the same way. About you, I mean.”

Your chest warmed at that. Then you chuckled, an idea hitting you. “What, you don’t want me to write Dick Grayson x Nightwing fanfics next?”

He opened his mouth to retort with something sarcastic, but then his eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s actually a really genius idea—”

You chortled and knocked your hand against his strong chest. “No, it really wouldn’t be. What if people connected the dots and found out because of it?”

He pouted. “Alright, fair point. But maybe you could write them just for me?” Aaand he was using his puppy eyes on you. Go figure. 

“I’ll think about it,” you gave in. Only a few people were strong enough to withstand Dick Grayson’s charm, and you certainly weren’t one of them. “But, I gotta ask… Weren’t you super weirded out when you found out that I wrote all these stories? Didn’t it make you uncomfortable?” 

If you ever found out that a friend of yours was writing romantic reader insert fanfics about you and publishing them… Well, you didn’t know what it would feel like, but it was definitely weird.

Dick chuckled and shook his head. “If it were someone else I knew, then maybe. But I know you—you’re one of my best friends. Knowing you wrote them, it just… doesn’t bother me at all, no. I understand why you wrote them, I understand why you published them, too. And why you stopped.” He shrugged. You felt a weight fall from your shoulders at his words, finally feeling yourself relax against him. “Anyway, did I manage to inspire you? You gonna write a kiss for part two?”

You snorted, then hummed, pretending to think for a moment. “I don’t know, I think I’ll need a bit more to really get the creativity flowing.”

Dick’s smile turned knowing. “I’d be more than happy to help.” And then he kissed you again, and it was even better than the first time.

[bluedalahorse]

Hi! I hope everyone is doing well. I am popping up to let you know that I’m alive, that there’s a lot going on, that I still love YR, and that I’m thinking about boundaries and priorities.

I loved Young Royals season three. I especially love how it engaged with the legacy of Erik and the systems of Hillerska. I love that it took the idea of the legal system providing catharsis and that it threw that out the window. I love the way characters got words for what they were going through, how Felice got to name the racism happening to her and August got words to name his disordered eating. Most of all I loved the way Lisa wrote Sara’s relationship with her father and her reconciliation with Simon. That meant so much to me, and I can’t wait to imagine a future for the Eriksson siblings.

Here is a brief list of things I loved about the finale. They were all written in the afterglow of seeing the episode. I stand by them. Especially how much I loved Wille’s ending, and what happened there.

In the coming weeks, I’m sure there’ll be stuff I’m more critical of or don’t feel as strongly about. I especially have mixed feelings about the way Lisa seemed to structure 3.5 in a way that mimics the emotional roller coaster of trauma. I’m not really focusing on that stuff here or now, because I don’t want to. But it’s on my mind, and I don’t know if I’ll end up posting about it here and elsewhere.

At present this post isn’t rebloggable or tagged with much of anything. That’s because I’m trying to figure out the best way moving forward with tumblr. I don’t know if I want to delete this blog and abandon it entirely, but the pressure to present a curated version of myself is too much, and is a pretty big trigger for things like rejection sensitivity and anxiety. The pace here is also too fast and there is no way to keep up with everything, and (forgive me for this cardinal sin in tumblr-land) I wish I had some easier way to not see the same sets of gifs a hundred times with the same commentary. I’m experimenting with slower ways of doing fandom, where I can enjoy myself more.

I do, however, want a way to get the cultural footnotes for Young Royals, especially when they help me write better fic and create better fanworks. I know there’s some pretty darn useful posts about how lines get translated and various holidays and traditions (and looking forward I would like to know more about universities in Sweden, and how the monarchy works and such.) So I want to be able to find the stuff I need without having to spend as much time on what I don’t need. The resource posts people make are truly helpful.

And I also have some other fannish things I want to see here, like Les Mis and Interview with the Vampire. And the memes are nice. I miss the memes.

Before I make the decision about how I engage, I think it will be useful for me to know my priorities. So I’ve thought about them a bit, and I want to make the decisions that align with my priorities. Here’s what I want to focus on moving forward:

I want to spend more time creating. The thing that has always brought me the most genuine joy in this fandom is writing fic. YRS3 ended in a place of possibility for so many characters, and I want to keep writing about them and learning about them that way. (I won’t even lie, of course most of my ideas are about August—August and Kristina working on their intergenerational cousin relationship, August getting pulled into weekly DND sessions with Wille and Simon so they can all get better at being human together while pretending to be elves or something, August doing the personal and liberatory work that allows him and Sara to one day have a Second Chance Romance with they’re older, even August/Nils because oh boy did that season give me ideas about them I never knew I had.) One of my goals is to cut down on browsing time significantly so that I spend more time writing, especially so I can finish Heart and Homeland. I think it’ll make me happier.

I want to spend more time helping others create. Some of the most meaningful experiences I had in this fandom involved being a beta reader or hearing out another person’s fic ideas, and getting to live in that space of creation and collaboration. For that reason, I’d like to still make new YR connections on occasion, especially with people who wanna share their writing process with me. Tumblr may or may not be a place to do that. I’m still figuring out where stuff should happen.

I want analysis to be something I do as part of my creative process, and that’s it. I don’t know if this is fully true, but it felt like ten years ago there was more fandom meta focused on what fans wanted to write in their fanfics, and how their interpretations of canon led to them creating cool art. There was some meta that was about how to interpret canon “correctly” but that wasn’t the priority. Now, it feels like—and this is true even outside of YR fandom, so this is no reflection on YR specifically—there is more emphasis on having the “correct” interpretation of canon. About getting it right, and having the right predictions and interpretations. It feels competitive in a way that wears me down. From this point forward, when posting analysis, I’m going to ask myself, is this furthering my creative pursuits and my understanding of the writing process more generally, or am I just trying to win an argument? If the answer is just to win, then I’m not going to post my argument. That runs counter to my goals.

I don’t want to engage in any space where anonymous discourse flourishes. Even when well-intentioned. Being away for a while was clarifying for me on that point. Turns out one of the biggest triggers for my anxiety and shame are extensive, heated conversations where I don’t know who is saying what and who I can trust. Spaces where there’s a lot of anon conversation are probably going to be ones I block and unfollow first moving forward. It just seems like a good baseline for how I engage.

So this is where I am as of now. I’ll probably continue to hold off on doing much posting in the coming days, but I did want to poke my head up for air for a second to let people know what the state of everything is.

Here’s one picture of the plushes for the road:

And here’s a picture of the waffles I ate on finale day:

Oh, to have cloudberry jam and time spent with friends. These things are truly joyous.

[humbledragon669]

Season 1 Opening and Closing Credits

This write up will likely end up feeling a bit scatty, partly because there are a lot of different bits and pieces to cover, but also because that opening credits scene is, to be quite honest, a little bit frantic. There’s a lot of stuff going on in there, despite the fact that it’s less than a minute and a half long. I’m intending on covering all of the opening credits scene here, so to make things a bit easier to digest, I broke it down into what I’m calling tableaus. The intent is to describe what we can physically see happening in each tableau before offering any observations on them in turn – it was the only way I could really see to break it all down. Lastly, there’ll be a quick summary of the music for each of the end credit scenes. Hopefully that all makes sense, and gives the opportunity to decide you’re not all that interested in the upcoming content before you get too far into the weeds with me.

Opening Credits

Before I get going with tableau #1, I thought I might offer a suggestion as to what I think the story is that we’re being told by the animation that takes place throughout the credits. From what I could gather, it appears to be telling the story of the consequences of Armageddon actually taking place. I hope that story arc will become a little clearer as we progress through each of the tableaus.

There’s one other thing I want to address before getting into the nitty gritty, and it won’t surprise you that it’s to do with the music. Something I noticed very early on in my GO-related brainrot journey is that the theme tune is written in ¾ time. That along with its very characteristic bass line accompaniment would qualify it as a waltz, which were predominantly used as courtship dances. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the music we come to associate with this show is representative of a genre of music that was banned in some places because it was considered to be sinful. Subtext on multiple levels there methinks.

Side note: the original theme tune for the series was intended to be Buddy Holly’s “Everyday”, but when David Arnold presented the piece that he’d composed as a potential replacement to Neil, it was love at first hearing. It’s lovely that we got to keep the Buddy Holly song in the show in season two, as it was apparently something that Terry was keen about having as a theme running throughout the whole of season one.

Tableau #1

Crowley and Aziraphale (with Crowley in the lead) are walking through the darkness.

Camera pans out to show a barren landscape.

Straight from the off, we see Crowley and Aziraphale together, very much like in the show itself. The animation leaves us in no doubt that these two characters are meant to be seen as a partnership. It’s noticeable that the ground they’re walking on is curved, which would suggest it’s Earth they’re walking across, and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the barren landscape gives the impression that the two of them are striking off into the wilderness together. If we tie that into the timeline and story, this scene feels like this is a representation of the two of them as they leave the Garden of Eden.

Tableau #2

Crowley and Aziraphale have been joined by a small procession of two hooded figures and a small demonic-looking being.

The landscape in the background has more landmarks – rocks and bare trees.

The camera has adopted a closer position to the beings in view.

A warped tree grows as Crowley and Aziraphale pass a particular point in the scene. An apple springs from it.

The small demonic-looking being runs ahead of the hooded figures and picks the apple from the tree. He carries it out of the tableau.

The vegetation in the background grows more luscious as the scene moves into the next tableau.

The only observations I have about this tableau are unfortunately more like questions. First off, I don’t think I could say who/what any of the procession members are here:

Those hooded figures could literally be absolutely anything. And WHAT is that little thing at the back? It has a mohawk and sunglasses. I can’t recall any characters in the show that would fit that description. And why does he pick the apple and carry it away?

It’s almost like he’s trying to get Crowley or Aziraphale to take it (perhaps trying to tempt them with it?), but I don’t know why that would be.

Tableau #3

Foliage now thick, like a rainforest.

Flowers spring up from the ground as Crowley and Aziraphale walk into the tableau.

The procession has expanded with the addition of a bearded man, a nun, a different small being, and a priest.

There is a large cherub statue in the background.

A butterfly lands on the vicar’s hand, before flying across the shot.

The flowers springing from the ground is the second instance of foliage growing where Aziraphale and Crowley pass over, and it makes me wonder if the growth is either inspired or commanded by their presence. The apple has now disappeared from the tableau, but we have no indication of where it went, especially since the demonic-looking being that was carrying it has either changed or transformed into a completely different small being, one that looks an awful lot like Shax!

I realise this could be a representation of Madame Tracy, but there’s something about the sunglasses that makes me feel that’s not right.

Knowing that nothing ever makes it into this show by accident, I find myself wondering if the butterfly in this scene has been put there to suggest transformation.

We certainly know by the end of the season that both Aziraphale and Crowley go through actual physical transformations in the body swap, but the personal growth of many of the characters throughout the show forms a very important theme in the story too. And speaking of transformations, the device used to “transform” us from this tableau to the next is a large statue, which appears to be the back of the same one we can see in the background, or at least an identical one.

Tableau #4

Crowley and Aziraphale are sharing a glass of red wine whilst seated at a table.

The cherub statue from the previous tableau is still present in the background. Our point of view appears to be revolving around it.

The table is in front of a phone box.

The Bentley is seen in front of the bookshop.

There is a fire blazing in the upstairs window of the bookshop.

The instantly noticeable difference between this tableau and the ones that came before is that Crowley and Aziraphale are no longer marching as part/the head of the procession. In fact, it looks like they’re sitting at a table in a very lovely garden, what with the shady tree and the verdant grass in the forefront of the shot. What’s more, we can see the procession relentlessly marching away over a hill in the background. This tableau suggests to me that we’re at the point in the storyline where our hero pair have subconsciously abandoned their Heavenly and Hellish duties, happily settled in their own side, and with that in mind, I would say that this tableau represents the “present day” of this season as a snapshot in time. The flames in the upper floor window of the book shop are of course foreshadowing of what’s to come, and I do find it interesting that it’s there at all, major spoiler as it is, but it’s pretty fleeting as with the collage device used in episode 6, so perhaps the hope is that its presence won’t register with most audience members.

Tableau #5

An ark is resting on a building in the background.

The procession has had a few additions:

A brass band.

A hooded figure on a horse holding a scythe – Death.

A man in a top hat.

The alien being from episode 4.

A duck.

Something that looks like a rat.

A nun.

A second bearded man.

The procession is watched over by a demon (looks like Usher, the small demon that was used to test the holy water in episode 6).

Towards the end of the tableau, the procession starts to proceed up an escalator.

From certain angles, the building that the ark is resting on (or has crashed into) looks a little like the building that hosts the entrances to Heaven and Hell, though quite why this would have happened, I’m not sure.

There’s a change in the music in this tableau too, to what I will describe from this point on as theme #2. It’s probably most recognisable as being the tune to the lullaby that Aziraphale sings to Adam, although it is used throughout the season for a multitude of other scenarios. Interestingly, the change in tone in the music isn’t accompanied by a change in tone in the animation.

We see the first appearance of one of the four Horsemen in this tableau. In a sort of round-about-face way, the first we see in the opening credits is the last we meet in the storyline, the last to be called, and the last to be dismissed on the tarmac in Tadfield. I do like that Death has been put on a horse in this setting, making him a literal horseman as well as a metaphorical one.

This is the first tableau that Aziraphale and Crowley are nowhere to be seen in. If my theory about the story being told is correct, perhaps this is to show events continuing without their awareness, but I feel like that’s a bit of a stretch.

Tableau 6

Procession now proceeds along a moving walkway.

Additions to procession membership:

Weird tall being that looks like a bear.

Something that looks like it might be from Atlantis?

A short being of human appearance.

Small being carrying an “END IS NIGH” placard.

Somebody in a hazmat suit.

Something wearing some sort of face mask.

An additional dark figure on horseback – Famine.

Another unidentifiable short being.

The short demonic-looking being from the procession in tableau #2.

The backdrop now is of a night sky containing nebulae and galaxies.

Crowley arrives from the left and hovers over the procession.

The UFO from episode 4 appears and collides with Crowley, who is thrown of course. The UFO, now smoking, begins a descent into what will likely end in a crash.

I don’t have an awful lot to say about this tableau, other than it being the first time we see Crowley or Aziraphale without the other. It’s also the first time we see the transition into the next tableau being led by movement downwards, instead of from left to right.

Tableau #7

UFO crashes through a layer of cloud to reveal a descending escalator carrying, what appears to be, a procession consisting of a different set of people.

Aziraphale is hovering above the escalator and observing the descending procession.

Aziraphale deliberately flies into the UFO, causing it to explode into a shower of fish.

A single being can be seen ascending the escalator, against the flow of the procession.

It was at this point that I realised that if the escalators were supposed to represent the entrances to Heaven and Hell, with the beings on them going to their final place of rest, Aziraphale and Crowley were in the wrong places. You’d expect the angel to be watching the beings on their ascent to Heaven, wouldn’t you? So I actually think this might be a representation of the start of the war between Heaven and Hell, with forces from Hell ascending (perhaps invading?) Heaven, and vice versa. The presence of Crowley watching over, or perhaps feigning participation, would be more fitting in this case.

Unfortunately, the procession on the descending escalator is too far from the camera POV to make out individual members. The being going up the escalator instead of down is the mysterious little Shax-lookalike we saw introduced in tableau #3.

I’d quite like to know a) how that being got there and b) why they’re going against the flow of traffic. Perhaps they’re just late to the invasion of Heaven.

The shower of fish is a nice little callback to something that was used as a device on more than one occasion in the book, and was even intended to be used for the show in the original script but was unfortunately cut. It’s good to see it as a little Easter egg here in the credits.

Tableau #8

Backdrop is now of a wood or forest. The remainder of the shower of fish can be seen falling through the trees and into water.

Aziraphale and Crowley are now together again, with Crowley leading the way.

A military ship comes into view. It holds a lot of passengers, and definitely has members of the first procession on it. There is now a white figure on horseback present – Pollution.

The camera POV pans under water to provide the next transition.

It’s unclear whether the passengers on the ship are of members of both of the processions we’ve seen (mostly because the only shot we’ve seen of the second procession was too far away from the camera to make out distinct characters), but they seem to be mostly from the first procession. It’s also unclear as to whether Crowley and Aziraphale are simply observing the ship and its passengers, pursuing it, or even trying to overtake it.

Tableau #9

Backdrop is now of an ocean floor, complete with a kelp forest.

Crowley and Aziraphale are hovering over the procession in the same formation as the previous tableau (with Crowley in the lead).

The procession is now very large, with many members carrying placards and signs.

The kraken appears in the background, watching over the procession.

The procession starts an ascent up a hill, leading into a destroyed cityscape in the background.

Crowley and Aziraphale deliberately exit this tableau, accelerating out of shot.

The camera point of view focuses in on the head of the procession.

There is now a red-headed figure on horseback present – War.

The procession is now being lead by the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

There are some objects that we can see floating through the ocean during this tableau.

They look quite like plastic bags to me, so I wonder if this has been put here as a social commentary of the seemingly incessant need for humans to pollute the oceans. I think this tableau, with all four horsemen leading the procession, is representative of Armageddon having actually occurred, with the procession consisting of beings who are all now marching forward to be judged. Interestingly War was the last of the Horsemen to join the procession but the first that we are introduced to in the show, and the first that would be called upon in a nuclear holocaust situation.

Tableau #10

Backdrop is now of a destroyed cityscape.

The Horsemen of the Apocalypse are now at the rear of the procession.

Madame Tracy and Shadwell ride Madame Tracy’s scooter across the tableau, in front of the procession.

Aziraphale can be seen observing the procession from the top of a road sign signalling the M25.

The repositioning of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse suggests that their roles have shifted from leading the procession to ushering its members. This makes sense, given the backdrop of this tableau suggests that Armageddon has happened by this point.

Tableau #11

The procession continues up a rock bridge.

Backdrop has become a stereotypically “Hellish” landscape.

We can see the back of Aziraphale and the road sign he sits on as we pan into this tableau.

Crowley is floating above the procession, apparently observing.

The Shax lookalike demon can be seen running against the flow of traffic at this point.

The procession is being watched over by hellhounds (one in the background, an additional one in the extreme foreground).

We can see parts of the rock bridge crumbling under the weight of all of the beings in the procession, which brings my attention to the fact that there have been sound effects added to the soundtrack for certain things – these crumbling rocks, the flutter of wings, the pop of the UFO as it explodes into a shower of fish, and the roaring of the hellhound as the camera passes by. It adds to the impression that this isn’t just a credit sequence needed for logistical purposes, but that it is telling a story in its own right. It’s also possible to see that the procession participants not only look distinct, but have different walking styles too. It’s a tiny detail that would go amiss by so many, yet would have taken a lot of effort to implement. There hasn’t been anywhere for me to give credit to the animators in my write ups prior to now, so this is their chapeau – well done all, little things like that really add to the richness of this show.

Tableau #12

We see a view of the end of rock bridge and a bright white light in the sky.

The supporting pillars crumble as the camera approaches the end of the bridge.

I don’t have a lot to say about this tableau, partly because it’s very short but also because it has the least amount of content to it. As the penultimate tableau in the credit sequence, it’s the only one that takes place from the point of view of the procession.

Tableau #13

Point of view returns to a side view of the procession.

We see the front of the procession approaching the end of the rock bridge.

The Shaz lookalike can be seen, once again, running against the flow of traffic, away from the end of the bridge.

The camera perspective changes as it passes the bridge’s supporting pillar. It’s now further away and the light in the tableau is much stronger.

Members of the procession start to fall off the end of the bridge, some gaining wings and flying upwards, others falling straight down.

The camera pans out to show the title card for the show whilst procession members continue to march off the end of the rock bridge in the background.

That weird little Shax lookalike is busy running away in this shot, not once but twice. Once before the camera pans across the bridge’s supporting pillars:

And again, right after:

There seems to be a bit of a continuity error here, as those two gifs lead literally one into the other. What I really want to know though, is who or what that being really is, what its purpose is and why is it almost always travelling in the opposite direction to the rest of the procession.

And so we come to the end of the road (quite literally) for the procession. We can see the outcome of the judgement for each of them as they either ascend to Heaven or fall into Hell. Strangely, Crowley and Aziraphale aren’t present to see any of this – it makes me wonder if they’ve decided to flee to Alpha Centauri after all, seeing as in this series of tableaus it looks like they failed to avert the end of the World. Perhaps the halo over the “O” and the little devil tail on the “M” of the Good Omens title card is meant as a representation of their presence, albeit transformed somewhat.

End credits

Episode 1 end credits

Description: “The Theme That Got Left in the Car”. Queen-style symphonic rock of theme #1 from the Opening Title music.

Notes: links to the episode through the introduction of Queen as the music mascot for the show and its general feeling of impending doom. It’s orchestration also sets the scene for the epic nature of the show. One a personal note, and I know I’ve mentioned this before, this is HANDS DOWN my favourite piece of music in the entire season. I love absolutely everything about it – the wailing guitar, the operatic piano, everything about is JUST AWESOME.

Episode 2 end credits

Description: string quartet fugue-style of the Opening Title music. Has an extended theme #2 section and a variation on this theme before the return to theme #1. Not included on the OST album.

Notes: this version of the end credits theme offers an incredible contrast from the thickly layered version from episode 1. Its tone brings to mind an Austen-style ball, and although that would link beautifully with some of the concepts in season 2, I struggle to find how it connects with the episode content here. It’s beautifully crafted nonetheless.

Episode 3 end credits

Description: 60s instrumental style setting of theme #1, complete with Hammond organ and hand claps. Has an exploratory middle section and a distinct “Tarantino” feel. Not included on the OST album.

Notes: links to the episode through the 1967 flashback scene. There was, of course, a whole host of historic periods David Arnold could have chosen to use as the theming for this particular instance. Perhaps this was just the most fun to write.

Episode 4 end credits

Description: sounds like circus music! May use a calliope, or uses instrumentation to achieve that type of sound. Encompasses the entirety of the Opening Title music and includes a key change in the theme #2 section (the only end credits music that does). Not on the OST album.

Notes: I would argue that this piece offers the most obvious representation of the characteristics of a waltz, despite its very different instrumental setting. As with the episode 2 tune, I struggle to find the link to the dark episode content with this version, which is cheerful to the point of insanity.

Episode 5 end credits

Description: pipe organ fugue. There is a choir that joins to punctuate the phrasing towards the end. There is no other instrumentation. Not on the OST album.

Notes: I was told by the head of department when I was doing my music degree that the most evil instrument in all music was the pipe organ. He argued that if you ever ask somebody to think of “evil music” they will instantly summon the sound of a pipe organ, most likely the first movement of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, which I think this piece is heavily influenced by. It links beautifully with the cliffhanger of impending Armageddon at the end of the episode.

Episode 6 end credits

Description: “A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square” by Tori Amos. ‘Nuff said.

End credits general notes

The breadth of styles encompassed in the 5 different treatments of the Opening Titles music is, to be frank, astonishing. Each one is entirely convincing as an example of the style its written in, which really just goes to show, at least as far as I’m concerned, that David Arnold is nothing short of a genius. It’s really unfortunate that only one of these can be found on the OST album - I can only assume that this is due to a need to keep the album to a certain length. Honestly, I feel like each one deserves its own full musical critical analysis, but it does not appear that the score is available.

And there we have it. I said it might be a bit scatty, didn’t I?! Also long. Sorry about that, I didn’t think it would take as long as it did to analyse one and a half minutes of opening credits! As ever, questions, comments, discussion: always welcome. See you next time 😊

[being-of-rain]

I wasn’t really a big fan of The Giggle by the time I finished watching it, and I liked it less the more that I thought about it. Which is a real shame, because I think it was full of a lot of great ideas that were squandered with poor execution. I didn’t really want to just post pages of negativity, so I’ll quickly skim through a list of things I think could’ve been done better, and maybe I’ll expand on some of them later or if I’m asked about them. Still, this is your warning for negativity.

The whole 'screens are evil and making everyone think they're right' felt so shallow and cheap, especially because it was set up as the main obstacle and then largely ignored. A lot of the characters at UNIT really didn't do much (I totally forgot about The Vlinx after my first watchthrough) but I think that didn't bother me much while watching because I was used to Chibnall regularly ignoring characters like that. It was nice to see Mel again, but she didn’t really serve much purpose.

RTD’s take on the Toymaker is quite similar to his take on the Master, which was sometimes fun and sometimes annoying (specifically the German accent, which lost its appeal pretty quickly for me). But he felt pretty hollow and full of wasted potential beyond that, feeling like he was there just to give the episode a villain. Although speaking of the Master, his brief inclusion was hilarious and an easy way to write him back into the show later, nicely done.

The last third of the episode had some many intriguing and potentially awesome ideas behind it. The new Doctor turning up partway through a story? Cool! The Doctor defeating his final villain alongside the next star of the show? Fun! The Doctor getting self-care and words of wisdom from his next self? So heartwarming! One Doctor retiring to be happy while his next incarnation travels off to continue the adventures? A fun use of the show's format!

But for me these ideas just didn’t work or didn’t fulfill their potential, and it’s mostly because there’s no narrative justification for them. No cause and effect. There’s no given reason for the Doctor to bigenerate, it just happens. There’s no particular reason that it was the Doctors rather than the Toymaker who won the game of catch to save the world, it just happens. Without any narrative reason the third act feels so unsatisfying, like spectacle for the sake of spectacle, and (I don’t say this lightly) incredibly lazily written.

That lack of story reason also undermines the ending, clearly the thing RTD was most interested in, by making it feel unearned. Like a first draft script that worked backwards to make it happen. The retirement ending itself I have mixed feelings about, which I’m not sure I can fully articulate. One thing I love to see is that RTD can actually do a genuinely happy ending rather than making every ending a tragedy. But said happy ending feels a little too ‘married-with-kids-and-a-white-picket-fence’ to me – though obviously I can’t stress enough how relieved I am that romance didn’t factor into it. It just felt like it wasn’t set up well enough. I’d probably like it a lot more if they made clear if Tennant’s Doctor was going to turn into Gatwa’s Doctor or if they’re just separate people now. It was sweet of RTD to try and bring a conclusion to the ‘Doctor is traumatised’ thing that he introduced to the show 18 years ago, but he did it poorly. At least it offers interesting new possibilities for the show going forward!

With all that said, in the end The Giggle felt to me like RTD retreading some of his biggest flaws as a writer, and throwing in a few borrowed from other showrunners for good measure. It was a disappointment both because of the good ideas just below the surface, and because it came after a very fun first episode and an incredible follow-up.

But like I said, I’m excited to see what the show does next! I saw talk that there’ll be lots of mythical and unnatural creatures turn up due to the Doctor’s salt thing, which is super cool. And obviously I’m excited for more Gatwa! I haven’t really felt a lot of reason to be excited about Ruby yet, but as always I’m ready to fall in love with the new companion quickly!

[annas-arcade]

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ pinned ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

yippeee it’s me anna this is my fnaf sideblog

✰ all my basic info is on my main: @annabannnananana

✰ fnaf is taking over more and more of my brain space lately so i figured i’d just make a sideblog dedicated to it

my fav fnaf things!!! ₊⊹

✰ characters (in this order):

✰ i have special emoji tags for each character, listed below!

✰ vanny/vanessa (🔪🐰/🔪👮‍♀️), roxanne wolf (⭐️🐺), the puppet (👻🖤), glamrock freddy (⚡️🧸), glitchtrap (👾🐰), the daycare attendant (🌗🎭), michael afton (💜🧟‍♂️), mangle (🎀🦊), toy bonnie (🎸🐰), lolbit (📺🦊), nightmare bonnie (🎃🐰)

✰ games (in this order):

✰ security breach/ruin, sister location, fnaf 4, fnaf 2, fnaf 1

✰ books:

✰ none bc imo the books are goofy ahh random shit scott pulled outta his ass, like they’re completely unrelated to the games the lore doesn’t even stack up at all- but anyways-

what i do on this blog ₊⊹

✰ on this blog i write fnaf-related headcanons & fics! i also draw fnaf-related art!

✰ i do take requests for art and writing. see my request rules on my pinned post on my main <3

✰ i might post fnaf theories/analysis posts from time to time if i really want to (but i’ll probably mostly be too lazy for all that).

✰ there’ll probably just be a lot of reblogging of fnaf content i like. expect to have your dash flooded with reblogs of like, vanny fanart and stuff, every time i come online (which will be every 2 seconds because i’m chronically online. someone please help me).

✰ everything is very silly and lighthearted here (except when i post about some of the darker themes in the fnaf lore, which will be appropriately tagged as dark/triggering/etc) so please try to keep it that way and don’t bring unnecessary drama or negativity to this blog. thank you!

small note ₊⊹

✰ i am aware dni lists are “pointless and annoying”, but it might get people to stay away from my blog(s). so please, if you’re reading this, try to stay away from my blog(s) if you fall under the basic dni (terf, racist, sexist, bigot, pedo, zoo, etc), support vanilliam (vanny/vanessa x william afton), or are a jk rowling supporter/apologist. thank you.

my tags ₊⊹

✰ #.:🎩rambling about robots - my fnaf txt/talking tag

✰ #.:🎩silly robot writing - my fnaf writing

✰ #.:🎩silly robot arts - my fnaf art

✰ #.:🎩others doing stuff with robots - my fnaf reblog tag

my pfp was drawn by the lovely wonderful artist @roxtron and the dividers on this post were made by @saradika-graphics !! ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

and that’s all you need to know to navigate this blog! thanks for stopping by, come back anytime!

[kaeyas-beloved]

Voicelines: Kaeya’s Birthday

Characters: Jean, Lisa, Klee, Diluc, (Y/N), Kaeya

Summary: Some people have some things to say in regards to today…

Genre: Fluff/Mild-Angst + Snippets

CW: romantic Kaeya x gn!reader & platonic for everyone else, not proofread

a/n: I uh wanted to try doing voicelines and what better opportunity than doing it for Kaeya’s birthday (yes I’m late but shhhhh)! Happy Birthday Kaeya <333

Jean

“Even though today is his birthday, Kaeya refuses to stop working. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s dedicated or simply forgot the date. Regardless, he should take the day off and enjoy himself.”

Lisa

“Kaeya doesn’t really celebrate his birthday. The most he’s ever done was drink himself silly and hardly anyone can consider that celebrating. Still, I’m sure there’s a reason behind it. Oh? You’re curious? Try asking (Y/N), cutie, they may know.”

Klee

“Today is Kaeya’s birthday! Klee heard that Amber is planning a surprise party for him later. Will you come too? There’ll be loads of yummy food and drinks. Oh and cake too! Klee hopes she made a good gift for Kaeya…”

Diluc

“It’s been a long time since either of us celebrated. Times were… simpler back then. Every year though Kaeya never fails to ask if he could get a drink on the house. Of course, I say no.

The staff at the winery miss him too and keep asking me to invite him over. Even if I wanted to, Kaeya always finds a way around it. So there’s no one to blame but him on that front. Must he make everything so difficult for me though?

*sigh* I digress. Traveller, one last thing. Could you deliver this bottle for me? I have no doubt you know who the receiver is.”

(Y/N)

"This year, I hope to make it the best for my lover. If you couldn’t tell, Kaeya gets… weird about his birthday. Yes, weirder than normal. Do I know why? I do, but it’s not my story to tell Traveller.

On top of the party, I have many presents for him for when we get home. Some material, others not so much. I’ve always had trouble picking out gifts, but it’s even worse when it comes to Kaeya. Still, it was fun. I’m smiling? I can’t help it, not when it comes to him and what he does to my heart.

...Do you think he’ll like this? It’s a feather earring. Did you know that Kaeya's vision isn't like the others? It's missing a set of feathers - the feathers required to fly.

...I want to give him his freedom. Even if it's only a little. Even if it's only for a day. He deserves that and so much more.

Kaeya

“When were you going to tell me about the party? Haha, I’m kidding. How did I know? Let’s just say I’m not a captain for nothing. Don’t worry, I'll act surprised when the time comes.

This is the first year (Y/N) will celebrate with me as my significant other. I’m truly blessed to have them in my life.

…Weird? Who told you that? (Y/N)? Oh, I see. I do tend to forget or celebrate in untraditional ways, there’s no denying that now that it’s out of the bag, but I wouldn’t go as far as weird to describe it. You think so too? I’m wounded.

(Paimon: “Uh! I don’t see why (Y/N) decided to get you anything. How do they deal with you!?”)

Wait. They got me something?

…

I can’t wait to see it. :)

Very important addition: Kaeya is teary eyed and smiling softly when he hears you got him a gift <3

Tag list: @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @x-zho // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kaerui-kaisen // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs // @lemontum // @akiria12167 // @ari-the-wr1ter // @dontmindmebeing // @stage-lucida

…

Wanna be tagged in future works? Consider filling out this form! And if you want to be removed just DM or send an ask into my inbox!

[wcbweblog]

WELCOME!

WHAT IS ‘WHAT COULD BE WORTH ETERNITY,?

What Could Be Worth Eternity?, or wcbwe for short, is an art/storytelling project of mine! I currently have a comic (very early stage) in-the-works, as well as some writing and other art pieces. In short, wcbwe is what I call the original universe that holds a number of stories and characters I want to share!

OH, SO THIS BLOG IS FOR THAT COMIC?

………not exactly, unfortunately. The comic is still very early in its production, and as the only person working on it, progress is slow going. I think taking the extra time will be worth it in the end, but I’m biased lol. As it stands, this blog is not specifically for the comic in the works, but when I am ready to start posting pages, this is where it’ll happen!

…ALRIGHT. THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS BLOG? WHY THE COUNTDOWN, IF THE BIG PROJECT ISN’T GOING TO BE READY FOR A WHILE?

Wait, countdown? For anyone who doesn’t know, for about two months, I was doing a… daily, countdown on my main blog, and it ended today, 2023.08.28, the day this blog goes up.

To be honest – the countdown wasn’t for this. In fact I’m writing out this lil intro post the day it’s supposed to go up while at work haha! I am incredibly unprepared. The countdown was to something at work (that never ended up happening, to my knowledge), I think we were supposed to do some sort of… media blackout? Like I said, it didn’t happen, so it doesn’t really matter. But, well, a couple of my moots saw the countdown and got curious, and I thought ‘well I should do something on tumblr, too!’. So here we are. Art blog! Yup, this is an art (and sometimes writing) blog centered around the wcbwe universe. Right now the plan is to update every Monday, but that’s subject to change because I have no clue what my uni schedule is yet XD

YEAH YEAH COOL. GO BACK TO THAT COMIC FOR A MINUTE?

Ah yes. The comic. My pride and joy, should I actually manage to stick with the project. Like I said, it’s still very early in its production; only the prologue and first chapter have been scripted, and only half the prologue has been storyboarded. And it’s going to be a very long comic, so that’s not a lot. I’d prefer to have the whole thing, or almost the whole thing, storyboarded before I start making pages. If you want an estimate? I’d say it’ll be about a year or more before I can start posting pages.

OKAY, SO IF YOU WEREN’T PREPARED TO START THIS BLOG, WHY DO IT?

Well, there’s no time like the present! I need somewhere to organize my thoughts and concepts for the universe, story, and characters, and I’m hoping having a dedicated blog might motivate me to sort out my ideas haha.

*INSERT FANCY LIL PROGRESS BAR HERE*

Wow! What was the progress again? Not to worry! I’ll keep the progress updated here :]

scripted up to chapter 4

21/? pages storyboarded

0/? pages completed

IF THIS IS AN ART BLOG, WHAT KIND OF ART WILL YOU BE POSTING?

In short, anything wcbwe related! Digital art, traditional art, short writing things, animations, concept art, storyboard sketches, etc. etc. Anything I make that has to do with the wcbwe universe will end up on here eventually! Not all of it will be Quality Art TM lol

ALRIGHT, BUT WHAT’S THE STORY ABOUT?

I don’t want to get too into spoilers, especially since I don’t have most of the plot ironed out yet. Up until the comic’s production is further along, the main focus here will be on worldbuilding and designs. With that said – you might be able to put together pieces of the plot with the art provided! I’ve got a couple big pieces coming up that have some kinda major spoilers. I just don’t want to actually talk about the plot things until I know what I’m doing. With that in mind, some art might end up getting retconned in the final production. Though, there’ll be a liiiiiiiitle plot sneak peak at the end of this post. Very small :p (it comes with art!)

ASKS ARE WELCOME!

Idk haha, if you’ve got anything to say, or any questions, drop an ask! It might take me some time to answer or I might want to save it for whatever reason, but I’ll answer eventually! Oh – asks are exempt from the Monday Updates btw! I’ll answer them whenever I answer them :3

…oh yeah I should probably mention. C a t s. (also tags are in the. tags-)

Without further ado – welcome to What Could Be Worth Eternity? Let’s dive in.

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Arceli dies.

And then she doesn’t.

[codgod]

OKAY. slightly more comprehensive and hopefully more useful tips for writing qmariana because the other post i made was kinda a mess. this one also is but hopefully less so. this is basically me expounding upon everything i already said + adding info from a lot of the tags i got on the original post pointing out stuff i didn’t mention

also going to mention again that a lot of this IS related to slimeriana because that’s the main flavour of qsmp fics i read BUT they should all work as general pointers. slimeriana are just gonna end up as my go-to examples for what i’m talking about. and second disclaimer that i barely speak even basic spanish so there are probs gonna be even more things i may have missed or messed up, i’m forging through with the power of youtube auto translate

all that said, here:

he’s not great at speaking english —

it is okay to write a character not being good at speaking a language! i don’t know why everyone seems to be fine with writing charlie speaking broken spanish but not the other way around. so many times i’ve seen him written as speaking perfect english and then just sometimes swearing or having a few lines of dialogue in spanish, if even that. that is simply just not how he talks

common things i personally have noticed mariana does: repeats words, says words that sound similar to the one he wants but not Quite [think words that rhyme or have a similar sound to them, like nipples and pimples lol], he’ll often get frustrated and switch back to spanish and just rely on the translator, especially for longer or more complex sentences/statements, there’ll sometimes be pauses between words or he talks slowly. he tries his best to speak english around the english speaking server members but again, will also just speak spanish and use the translator if he’s gonna be talking a lot

other small things: he swears quite a bit, and has a few favourites [namely mamahuevo (eng equivalent is cocksucker) is the one that comes to mind. and i don’t feel like i’m writing this out correctly but also chinga tu madre (fuck you/fuck your mother? i think?). in english the first one that comes to mind is motherfucker]. also calls kids mami/papi a lot, not even just juanaflippa

he’s almost always written as either too nice OR too mean —

he’s not a one-dimensional piece of paper just there to either dote on slime or make his life hell. he jokes and teases and he has a bit of a harsh sense of humour sometimes, but he’s very rarely malicious in his actions. if he’s really in the wrong about something he’ll get defensive, but will eventually end up apologising

that said, again, he’s not always nice! he gives as good as he gets when slime picks fights with him, he and bobby had a very playfully antagonistic relationship as far as i could tell. it’s like picking playful fights is part of his love language

he was always very sweet to juanaflippa though :D except a few teasing jokes here and there. he was a good dad, besides the murder JHVSJD

speaking of his sense of humour —

it can be very… blunt? for lack of a better word? he says some bizarre shit with a completely straight face. best example i can think of is him suggesting he and charlie could play a porn game together because they wouldn’t have to talk. obviously that’s cc not character, but it carries over. or, alternatively, the circumcision bit on day 1. basically if u watch charlie more, look at his sense of humour and translate it into spanish — there’s a reason they get along so well :D zero normal people in this relationship. the most you’ll get is them occasionally passing the “straight man” role back and forth, getting bewildered at each other but ultimately going along with whatever the bit is

he’s not a cheater! —

i know. i know ppl like the angst. but he never actually cheated on slime, not beyond being kinda flirty with other men but then pulling back and saying he was married whenever they returned that energy. he’s a bitch, but a loyal one /silly

but seriously, qmariana loves his family so much. he always wanted things to work out between him and slime. the only mc skin of his that actually shows his hands has him wearing his wedding ring, for christs sake. he’s not an absentee father, and he’s not a cheater, he just likes to joke flirt with his friends

he’s very open about his emotions! —

i have never once known this man to hide his feelings or be stoic in any situation. if he’s sad he cries, if he’s angry or frustrated he yells and swears, if he’s happy he laughs. if you are writing mariana as a person to keep his feelings hidden you are Doing It Wrong. the most he might do is hide one emotion behind another, but he’s almost always showing something

he LOVES music —

this man will sing at any given opportunity. he quotes song lyrics out of nowhere constantly. english, spanish, doesn’t matter, he loves music. it is literally always worth it to have him singing a lullaby to juanaflippa in a fic because it is both very in character and very cute

[vendetta-if]

How does the romance system work in this game? Will we enter a relationship with an RO once we reach a certain romance level? If we flirt with one RO then enter a relationship with another, will that negatively impact our relationship with that RO? I ask because I've been flirting with RO's to see what their romance path might be like as a way to choose who to go for, but I don't want to do that if it ruins my ability to have a platonic relationship with them

For the romance system, you’ll have to choose the romance options and choose to go down the RO’s hang out routes later on.

In each playthrough, you’ll get to choose 2 ROs’ routes to focus on later on and in those routes, there’ll be time to finally lock in the romance and for MC and the RO to finally become official (if you’ve been showing interest to the ROs, if you’re choosing their route too just to just strictly become friends, then there will not be any romance choice to become lovers).

And once you’ve locked in their romance and become official, I’ll grey out the flirting interactions with other ROs, since I’m not too comfortable or enthused about having to write that kind of stuff (I think I’ve talked about quite a while ago about not being comfortable about writing cheating stuff).

As for the flirting with all the ROs mechanics before locking in an RO, I will put them under the cut since I’ll be explaining what I currently have in mind and it’ll be quite long 😄

I’m not sure yet about flirting with another RO in front of the other ROs you’ve shown interest in as well (before becoming official) and its consequences. I think it’ll vary based on the ROs’ own personalities. Some are more okay and understanding of flirtatious MC compared to others, especially in the beginning.

For example, I think Skylar and Santana wouldn’t mind much if you guys haven’t been official, I think (subject to change); Skylar because they can be quite teasing and considered flirtatious as well.

Meanwhile for Santana, they would be more logical, thinking something along the lines of, “Oh, so MC is a flirtatious person, no wonder they’re flirting with me as well.” Or “Well, MC is not their partner yet, so they can’t really stop them from flirting with other people.”

But, as you keep showing interest in them (constantly choosing the romantic options) and have high romance points with Skylar or Santana and still flirt with other ROs in front of them later on, I think you might get some consequences. So, if you’re just being charming and flirting with them and other ROs in the beginning, it’ll be okay, but the longer you keep showing interest in them, but still have the gall to flirt with other ROs in front of them, they might feel sad and a bit hurt and feel like MC might just be stringing them along and is not serious at all about potential relationships with them.

Rin and Ash are more sensitive about that kind of thing (unless if it’s about each other, then, they would be more hesitant and a bit confused and conflicted 😂 Especially with the poly being possible). But, if you’ve shown clear interest in both or either of them, and then flirt with Santana or Skylar in front of them, you will get consequences.

For Rin, it might either be a decrease in their trust point, romance point, and/or in their friendship point. For Ash, it might either be a decrease in their romance point and/or friendship point.

At least, those are what I currently plan and have in mind 😅 I try my best to treat the ROs like real people instead of only characters.

Also, Uncle Luka will be exasperated with your MC 😂 “Get a grip, MC! Jesus, you’re even worse than Viktor. At least your dad just flirted and teased people instead of falling in love with all of them as well!” 😭

[pshcomforts]

about my oneshots! 𐙚

----------ㅤㅤ-------˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹ 𐦍 ˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹-----------------

ִ ࣪𖤐 my oneshots were originally written only for fun and for my friends to read too but here we are..

ִ ࣪𖤐 sunghoon is my bias so i mostly write about him (will possibly write about other members)

ִ ࣪𖤐 i associate hoon with the songs — ‘lily of the valley’ by daniel and ‘everything’ by the black skirts a lot so there’ll be a lot of references to those songs in my oneshots time to time

ִ ࣪𖤐 i am a SUCKER for friends to lovers, so don’t be surprised by the amount of friends to lovers i’ve written/will write with him (teehee)

ִ ࣪𖤐 many of my oneshots tend to be repetitive with him getting jealous, or y/n getting jealous

ִ ࣪𖤐 most of my works consistently contain arguments, jealousy, angst, idiots in love, and fluff so if you’re into that..!

ִ ࣪𖤐 there’s repetition in my works and erm.. i’m sorry about that… i’m trying to improve my writing..

ִ ࣪𖤐 i write suggestive content sometimes but they never turn into smut!

ִ ࣪𖤐 my fictional characters i put in my authors note tend to be for my friends (just ignore it)

ִ ࣪𖤐 jay’s my bias wrecker so he may be in the oneshots a lot

ִ ࣪𖤐 i don’t write niki or sunoo but i may do it if you request!

ִ ࣪𖤐 sometimes, i self-insert so.., i’m sorry LOL

ִ ࣪𖤐 i’m not big on sweet nicknames so the most you’ll get from my oneshots are — loser, idiot, pretty girl, and gorgeous

ִ ࣪𖤐 some of my oneshots will be when i was still trying to find the style of my writing so it may be messy and a little hard to read (sorry)

ִ ࣪𖤐 unfortunately, i don’t do a lot of requests just because i don’t have as much time anymore :(

----------ㅤㅤ-------˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹ 𐦍 ˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹-----------------

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 158 - My Thoughts/Analysis

This was certainly A Chapter. There’s no use beating around the bush here—it left much to be desired in plenty of instances. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Spoilers for Oshi No Ko Chapter 158 below.

We start off with a Nino monologue of all things during one of B-Komachi’s concerts. Can we please skip this uninteresting side character’s attempt to try to wrest the title of final antagonist so we can get onto the more important bits?

Nino saying that Ruby has already surpassed Ai is—well. I like the effort but can the manga even try to push this idea through to us in any sort of subtle manner. Show us that Ruby has surpassed Ai through means other than using other named characters as the narrative’s mouthpiece—with their own inherent biases, no less—instead of regurgitating it for the viewers with little to no reading comprehension to pick up on. The first concert did it right with a couple of randos who were fans of the first B-Komachi show us that this most recent generation of idols shines no less brightly than the previous generation. Or show us a concert in full and detail the color of the glowsticks and how much the red glowsticks overpower the white and yellow.

Now the scene shifts to Mem and Amemone. Very surprised the latter showed up here considering she was essentially a one off character. Is she going to be relevant for this chapter? Probably not—but it’s a bit of a missed opportunity for her to do anything relevant in this arc if she’s going to show up in the first place. One could change this scene to a more Mem focused page instead and not lose much of what the panels are trying to convey. 

Akane!!! And she’s interacting with Ruby in this page too. Seeing these girls talk just reeks of plot advancement so I’m excited to see where this conversation goes.

Wait, what? This concert is in Miyazaki??? That’s somewhat surprising, but the town that Aqua and Ruby were born in is likely a different area entirely from the location of this concert. Still, kind of odd to namedrop Miyazaki when it’s the prefecture where Aqua and Ruby were born but I doubt the manga will kick up much of a fuss about it.

Akane mentioning not being able to make the concert in Tokyo feels vaguely plot relevant—as well as this concert being held in Tokyo during Christmas day. Is this the Dome concert? When does this chapter even happen and how long has it been since the last chapter? As always, the manga is vague and nebulous for the particulars of its timeline to its detriment.

When she’s an idol, we see things differently. Akane as always taking time to snipe at Kana. You love to see it. 

On stage, Kana definitely is no match for Ruby. Considering the bias that Akane already has for Kana in general, that's certainly a statement that holds considerable weight from Akane of all people. Again, Ruby definitively shining greater than Kana is a fact that was already obvious from the start and throughout how the movie was portraying them but it’s nice to hammer that fact in for people who lacked basic reading comprehension.

But for that reason…some people may find Ruby unpleasant. There will be those who are trying to destroy this sparkle. There is a tendency for those inferior than you to wish to tear down anyone who distinguishes themselves beyond the norm. It is in the nature of those who shine more brightly than anyone else that not everyone will be able to appreciate that light. There’ll be haters no matter how good or deserving or impressive any of the achievements that one pursues when at this level of stardom.

I’d also say that this is some metacommentary on how Ruby is perceived by the fandom these days, but this manga isn’t smart enough for that sort of thing if it can’t even pace things adequately. I’m placing the metanarrative on a high enough shelf until this manga passes Writing 101 because it’s obviously failed that class miserably with these last dozen or so chapters. 

You can’t become a jewel that shines forever. Unless you become part of someone’s memory after you die like Ai. But in our case… Huh, interesting words from Ruby right here. I’d really like to hear this perspective on idols in more detail if the narrative has the decency to flesh out her character in more detail. 

And now we cut to Hikaru calling Nino. Are we going to get details on them since we don’t even fucking know how they met in the first place or exactly how Nino had an hand in Ai’s death, or is that much going to be handwaved like so many other important plot points? 

Since the moment we killed Ryosuke—Sorry, what was that Nino??? You and Hikaru killed Ryosuke? Weren’t the two of you barely around 18 by that point and Ryosuke was 22? How exactly did you kill the man and make it look like it was a suicide exactly? 

Apparently this is a mistake caused by the translators after doing a little bit of digging, but it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest for the series to pose a question that introduces more than a couple of plot holes when it’s already shown a tendency to fumble so close to the finish line. If the series can’t even prepare to setup a half-decent confrontation between our main character and what the narrative was setting up to be the final antagonist of the series then a little forgetfulness of its own timeline and the events thereof is the least of its issues.

You have to continue to be the best idol forever and ever. Girl, you need to get over yourself and move the fuck on. This isn’t even sad in the entertaining way—it’s sad in the way that you have to put down roadkill to end their suffering. Her entire reason for being a part of Ai’s murder is literally because Ai was barely mean to her in that one interaction and she collapsed under the rejection. The whole—cool motive, still murder—phrase doesn’t even apply here because her entire reason for for having a hand in killing Ai is so petty and entitled that it shocks me that people seem to be on board with her trying to wrench the title of final antagonist from Hikaru, who the narrative has been building up on for the past 9/10ths of the manga.

Crow Girl reappears!!! Finally we’re back to dealing with her and potentially some supernatural matters. This monologue of hers is interesting, but one that’s plainly obvious with how the emotions she vocalizes are ones that the people in the panels feel so strongly. As a being close to what is essentially a god she’s more than privy to see this entire thing play out from audience seating.

Humans are… Foolish, obviously, but that’s because they get caught up in the moment. Their lives are limited, unlike maybe gods. This may be a good time to be reminded of the fact that Crow Girl called both Aqua and Ruby gods as well—which—I wanna see if the narrative follows up on that or if it too is going to be forgotten like a small pile of other relevant plot points this series has left in its wake.

December 25th already??? Is this the Dome concert??? 

WHAT????? THE CHAPTER ENDS OFF LIKE THAT??? WHAT THE FUCK???

Well. That certainly happened. Let’s start off with the elephant in the room. Ruby’s stabbing. I’m quite surprised about how many people think Ruby’s going to die. I’ll describe why I think otherwise below:

Let’s start out with the fact that the way that Ruby gets stabbed is so short, so shallow and bereft of detail that it makes the scene itself look suspicious. Maybe it’ll get rehashed in more detail in the next chapter because as it stands now it feels too much like some sort of dream sequence instead of objective reality. One of Aqua’s nightmares, perhaps? 

It would explain why Ruby—who almost certainly was affected by Ai’s death—would open that door and not look at who was on the other side considering there is a Very large window present in the last panel of the chapter. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth that the narrative would make her hold the idiot ball since Ai died similarly and on the exact day she died. I feel very much like Abiko when she was admonishing Goa for turning her babies into idiots in the script. 

In any case, if that explanation doesn’t sound satisfying then fine. Let’s accept that Ruby gets stabbed and it’s not a dream or anything like that. Even if she does get stabbed, that doesn’t mean that she’s going to die. The location of where she gets stabbed is also something that should be considered. The design of the door pushes the idea that this is somewhere that Ruby was present at because of her idol work—it’s certainly not one that you’d expect to see in an urban household.

But having this “stabbing” happen while Ruby is preparing for idol work also contradicts what Ruby herself said in the last chapter about how she always has someone with her—referring to Ichigo and Miyako—so I dunno. More fuel for a dream theory? If this location is an area that Ruby’s working as an idol there’d be sure to be scores of people who could potentially give medical support in case Ruby got stabbed so that’s also another point in her survival.

But there’s yet more evidence that Ruby survives this encounter. The very much maligned interviews from the start of the series. I want to point out two of them in particular: Miyako’s interview and Ruby’s interview.

In Miyako’s interview she basically describes how both Aqua and Ruby receive favored treatment and trials in just the right amounts before the scene cuts away to see Ruby calling Miyako and telling her to come to her location as soon as possible. I’ll note some important bits of that page. The soy sauce bottle in the final panel of that page is both full and close to the top, so the liquid on the blanket is almost certainly not soy sauce. In light of this latest chapter, perhaps it’s blood? 

This in itself doesn’t mean she survived, of course. But if Ruby has the time to call Miyako on the phone instead of yell out for help or call for emergency services it likely means that the stab isn’t an immediate fatality. More weight on the “Ruby survived” scale in my mind.

However, it isn’t the only interview where we directly see Ruby. She still has her own interview to wrestle with—one that we haven’t seen directly or indirectly. We know quite clearly that both Aqua, Goutanda, and Ichigo’s interview have already culminated, but everyone else’s interview still exists in a nebulous void of whether or not it happened offscreen or not. Which leaves Ruby’s survival in that same nebulous void. Because if she dies here—she obviously can’t go out and do that interview because she’d be dead. 

Hedging Ruby’s survival on the possibility that her interview didn’t already happen offscreen would be a fair enough gamble to roll the dice on. The interviews are certainly important enough for the manga to show on screen—as we see with Aqua and Gotanda’s interviews—so Ruby’s interview should be similarly important enough to show on screen, right? Except this is a manga that handwaved Aqua and Crow Girl’s first meeting offscreen. Except this is a manga that handwaved Taiki’s reaction and thoughts to hearing that his mother was a rapist and that his father was a serial killer throughout the movie arc. It wouldn’t be the first time that the manga has swept aside what should be important plot points to focus on and instead attempt to speedrun the story.

So. Yeah. In any case, there’s plenty of circumstantial evidence to conclude that Ruby survives the stabbing, but here’s my personal take—there’s still one final thing that tips the balance to make me think that Ruby survives this “stabbing” and it all hinges on a single question: What is the point of this stabbing in the first place?

The answer is obvious: Because Nino wants to keep Ai as the best idol in her mind. She says so herself in this chapter and there’s no room to doubt that because we see this idea hammered in more than once throughout her previous appearances. She wants to kill off Ruby because she’s surpassed Ai.

Now look at where the chapter ends off after hammering in the idea that Ruby has surpassed Ai. Ruby, getting stabbed so similarly to her mother on the day of the concert. What better way to actually show that Ruby has surpassed Ai by making her survive the stabbing and go on to perform at the Dome—something that Ai wasn’t able to do. 

This narrative just flows. It clicks, so to speak. You can’t simply spend an entire chapter harping on about how Ruby has managed to shine brighter than Ai and let her die in the same manner that Ai had. It simply doesn’t make good storytelling. It undercuts everything you want to do with the character and the narrative. Killing Ruby off here basically tells the viewer that she didn’t really surpass Ai and that all this chapter was in the long run was wasted energy for a cheap high that would fall flat when you look at it from the bigger picture. It simply doesn’t make sense.

In any case, I have yet more thoughts about this chapter. Namely—how they decided to execute this entire mess of Ruby surpassing Ai.

I’ll be frank. I don’t like it. I like the idea of Ruby surpassing Ai—the narrative has been building up to it quite a while now—but the execution leaves much to be desired. Perhaps I’m asking the manga for too much when I ask for them to show us how Ruby has managed to surpass Ai, but at the moment I’m not completely feeling it. I don’t feel an easy transition from their first concert to where they are now for any sort of change in the way Ruby is supposed to shine and articulate that for the readers. 

Of course, there’s plenty of material around Ruby that could lead to this change. Both chapter 123 and 143 were important shifts in Ruby’s character that should be talked about when dealing with the way she performs as an idol and her perspective in general, but we don’t get to see that transition as a performer. All we get to see is the end result of this process with little more than some breadcrumbs to follow while we show how a character has changed from the outside in. We rarely get to see Ruby’s internality and thought process as she develops from these chapters. She did not get enough time to linger in the spotlight organically as the series developed. I suspect that’s why so many people dislike Ruby now that we’re racing to the finish line and she’s finally gotten a chance to stand in the spotlight.

The narrative itself did not adequately prepare Ruby, the character, into a position where I am fully convinced that she has surpassed Ai. I believe she has surpassed Ai both because the narrative makes it clear that she has and because of the parallels between her and Ai, but it isn’t easy to digest when Ruby herself seems to have been considered an afterthought half the time without the screentime to match such a role.

In any case, I’m glad that Ruby’s finally gotten her time to shine, but the authors need to be writing better material than some of the stuff I’ve seen high school writing students draft up. The way they’ve been handling Ruby half the time is laughable for someone who’s just as important as Aqua.

A small addendum to this entire subject is that some people are fuming that Kana of all characters should’ve been stabbed. If Ruby is lacking some of the necessities for me to be fully convinced that she has both surpassed and parallels Ai, then Kana has negative qualities in this regard. The fact that the movie arc casted Ruby as Ai and Kana as Nino stands for itself in terms of facilitating these parallels. There isn’t much clearer the narrative can be to smack these parallels onto the readers’ skulls.

Now, onto Nino and how she’s doing. I’ll say it plainly: I don’t like her as a character. I make this very clear in a couple of my prior analyses and in this one. The narrative’s attempt to make Nino a compelling character and antagonist is little late when Hikaru has been teased and baited as the final antagonist for the majority of the series. Not to mention the fact that the short story 45510 is now mandatory for understanding her character—which is certainly A Decision. A horrible one, really, but if the manga is already falling off a cliff, it doesn’t matter if you fall a hundred meters down or a thousand.