#there’s no succinct way to say it but u get what i mean

[khaothanawat]

it’s funny how msp accidentally hit on my all-time favourite dynamic aka: i know you’re into me and you know i’m into you and we’re not together yet but at some point we both know we’re gonna be

[staycalmandhugaclone]

Unhinged question: Which Batcher do u think makes the most noise in bed and all headcanons abt it, 3 pages MLA format due in one hour

Only 3 pages? Psh. Child's play. For the sake of brevity, however, I may be a bit more succinct.

To avoid answering the question directly, I must say that it depends. I think we'll go through each batcher's vocal ranges to grant as full of a nonanswer as I can. 18+ beneath the cut yall

Wrecker: If we're talking averages, Wrecker is, hands down, the loudest. He's the king of praise during foreplay, raving about how gorgeous you look, how good you taste, how much he wants you. As he gets more into it, he may talk a little less, but that's only because he's too focused on devouring you, taking you apart with his mouth in loud, messy slurps and groans as he tries to see just how loud he can make you get. And when he's finally inside you, he couldn't stay quiet if he tried. Just watching you take him makes him lose his mind; praises and curses catching on his lips. Feeling you cum around him is better than his own impending release, and he's all to eager to merely bury himself in you to feel your every twitch, all the while murmuring how amazing you are between drawn out moans of his own as he tries to draw this out. When he's finally close, his every breath leaves in something just torn between a growl and a whimper, and when he finally cums, he's not shy about screaming, and it's the hottest thing you've ever seen.

Hunter: This man is a switch through and through and has a moan for every role. If he's in control, he'll be quiet; that smokey voice lowered into a murmur but no less commanding for it. His little noises of pleasure tend only to be quick, quiet things - just enough to let you know when you're doing a good job. If you take the reins, this man will straight up whimper, especially if he's comfortable enough to let you blindfold him. Robbed of the ability to see what's coming, he feels everything else so much stronger. He loses himself in the smell of your arousal, the sound of his name on your lips as you tell him what you want him to do, as you praise him for doing it well is nearly enough to have him cumming untouched, but when you do touch him, he's so overwhelmed that he doesn't even realize how loud his almost pained moans and pleas get, focus locked so entirely on what you're doing to him until crying out in sobs of pleasure as he finally does cum.

Echo: He tends to be quieter regardless the circumstances; it's just in his nature as well as his training, but that doesn't mean silent. Like Wrecker, this man is full of sweet praises every step of the way. If you don't feel like the most stunning, loved, treasured partner in the galaxy by the time you're both done, he'll take it as a personal failure. Between those whispered praises, however, he's far from silent; letting subdued gasps and moans bit back into stifled hums reveal just how amazing you're making him feel.

Tech: He's not normally a screamer, preferring to maintain an impressive amount of control over himself even in the throes of pleasure. He'll softly inform you what he wants to do to you and what he'd like done to him, and it's oddly comforting to have such a simple means of communication to ensure you both fully enjoy yourselves. Occasionally, though, he gets so caught up in you that that control slips. Short, loud groans accentuate each sharp thrust when he gets like that, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise until his movements falter, slamming as deep into you as his can, breathy whispers catching in his throat at his violent release.

Crosshair: You'd think he's quiet. Hell, for the first year, he is; barely letting out more than a gasp or occasional hitched breath, but then he starts getting comfortable with you. He'd whisper things, of course, even at the beginning; little quips to maintain some degree of control, almost more to create an emotional distance than anything, until they don't. The change happens so gradually, you barely notice. Little praises start to escape him; tiny sounds catching in his throat just before he cums, steadily growing less and less reserved until he's moaning with the same need as you; curses garnishing pleas as huffed breaths dance between whimpers and groans. These moments with you becomes one of the few places he can feel safe not being in total control of himself, and that means letting out those desperate sounds of a pleasure threatening on overstimulation, that choked scream of feeling you tighten around him just before he cums, and the loud moans when he follows moments after.

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[exitvelocities]

on fandom and writing.

so that meme about showing how many fandoms you've written for is going around bsky and i assume twitter and here's mine:

the way i put it on bsky is that my purview is narrow and my start up cost is high. two of those (yowapeda and all out) are only in there as part of multi-fandom drabble dumps from the bygone saso days; chyf and oofuri i did at least write short (<1K) pieces for chocolate box. the last three are the main fandoms i've produced for in the last decade or so. daiya for about three years 2014-2018, bad buddy from late 2022-mid 2023 or so, and now mlc from april 2024 on.

i hope i'll be able to hold on to mlc for longer than i was bad buddy but i think i will -- i've been able to find enough community that i think it will stick for a while. part of that is the leap of faith that is the dihua discord server, but finding any cdrama friends at all has been a journey since my old circles are all dwrp and sports anime.

fandom for me is inherently a social activity or i would just stay in my corner and enjoy by myself like i do for most things; the main thing that motivates me to become active in a fandom is the desire to talk to someone about it. the desire to write may or may not be there without having someone to talk to, but even a little bit of encouragement goes a long way, so just someone saying "yeah i'd read that" was enough to get me to commit to my usual fic meme bullshit and that, i think, also helped find some more people to talk to, or at least interact with on some level.

i'm actually a very introverted person but i've been spending a lot of energy trying to foster a friendly environment on the server and hopefully in this space, though i can't see how well that's working as clearly. i gather the energy to throw myself at new people approximately once a decade lol so it's a little surprising that i'm managing so quickly after flaming out in my last fandom but mlc and dihuas in particular have been really welcoming.

anyway, this was supposed to be a post about writing. writing is pretty difficult for me in many ways, but it's also just. sort of what i do. so if i love something enough to want to talk to another human about it, it's not a stretch that i'll eventually want to create for it too. granted, for me, this is often expedited if i get bitten by the ship bug. i did actually watch mlc when it aired last year, but didn't really look into fandom or fic for it until earlier this year and sort of got delayed-reaction thunderstruck by dihua, which has so many elements that i love in a ship. the tension! the fondness! the trust and knowing! i should have known i was a goner but i didn't until i was falling headlong.

according to ao3 i've produced about 16K of mlc fic since april of this year. now, i know that's not a not for some, but to contrast my highest production year was 24K in 2015, so, for me: quite a lot! especially within that time period. i'm slowing down now/it's getting harder again but i don't plan on stopping so we'll see what my count is by the end of the year.

like many writers, i battle with self-confidence and mlc fic in particular has been a weird struggle for me. my writing hallmarks from previous fandoms have been atmosphere and poetics, succinct characterization, and imagery. for mlc fic i feel like i'm at 1 out of 3. i think (hope!) my character work is still good, but i feel like my writing for this fandom has been so plain. i want to write pretty things for this ship! i will keep trying. i may just need to eat more poetry and spend more time violently throwing myself around when trying to write, but hopefully i will manage at some point.

this post actually started with me thinking about why i choose to make my fic meme/drabble dumps chaptered rather than posting them individually when visibility/feedback/attention are unfortunately so important to me. every kudos, comment, tag comment, reblog, rec, etc really means a ton. writing is something that takes up a ton of energy and sometimes it can feel like you're pouring a whole lot of it out and not getting any in return and, for me at least, that's what burn out feels like. at the same time, like. in the end you're always writing for yourself so you sort of have balance that with how feedback or lack thereof makes you feel.

fic meme does get posted separately here on tumblr so maybe with that i get a little best of both worlds? i don't do it on ao3 because it would just straight up make me feel crazy to have literally 100+ 300-700ish word long ficlets scattered across my account over the decade, all needing titles, so my need to have things organized and in their place wins out over the need for validation there.

i don't know where i was going with this anymore tbh, but thanks if you read it! also thank you thank you thank you so much to those of you who take the time to read and respond to fic in some way, whether it's reblogging with tags, leaving comments, or just hitting the kudos button. i really can overemphasize how important these thing are as a fic writer.

[menalez]

https://www.tumblr.com/youturningintodust/735765266414387200/yes-this-is-rape-culture-done-by-women-well?source=share

invert in op's bio

honestly the invert stuff is whatever to me bc i guess she’s a gnc lesbian so it’s like.. that was what they were called back then. if she feels it’s more succinct and fitting than terms nowadays, that’s fine, her choice. as a term it’s tied to homophobic ideology but i cant assume that’s her point in using it.

i personally don’t like the strap fixation online or in lesbian spaces, because it has made me & many other lesbians feel like weirdos tbh like. we feel like there’s sth wrong with us for NOT liking that but i guess she’s speaking from a diff perspective here, so that’s fine too.

i disagree with framing it as “butch/femme sex” & i dislike the assumption that there being a masc & a feminine woman within the same relationship means we’re having sex a certain way. it’s rly not like that and it sucks when ppl assume that butches can’t possibly enjoy reciprocal sex and only want to give instead of receive any sex acts. or, perhaps less damaging imo, that feminine women only want to receive and not give. it’s just… not the case. how we present to the world doesn’t say much about how we have sex.

the idea that not liking the fixation with strap that can be found in many spaces for women into women is tied to the idea that u need to “use your vagina (penetratively)” is also odd to me. there’s definitely lesbians who don’t enjoy receiving any penetration but enjoy receiving oral for example, or clit stimulation, or some form of rubbing like tribbing or scissoring or w/e else. idk why theres this assumption that it’s either u wear the strap or u get penetrated?? like. it’s not that rare for lesbians to not enjoy or want penetration, actually. maybe its rare to never want any form of penetration, but that’s also not that rare nor is it limited to butches??

but yeah if someone expresses only wanting sex in one way, to guilt trip them in any way or shame them in any way for not wanting to have sex the way YOU approve of is rapey and gross. she’s right about that.

idk why she’s acting like topping being “alien” to lesbians is normal tho…most of us enjoy reciprocal sex, meaning we are mostly vers. if a woman acted like topping is a totally weird thing to do, i reckon most women would not be compatible with her.

again rly hate the equating of female masculinity with being a stone top! she means stone butches, she should say that. it’s more common among butches, but it’s neither exclusive to butches to only want to have the type of sex she describes nor do all butches fit that standard either.

i’m sure what she describes exists but honestly the phenomena i’ve noticed more often is the opposite where people expect butches to not want to be penetrated or not want to have sex acts done onto them… i agree w her ppl who feel entitled to do that to butches are awful tho.

[xelasrecords]

I'm here with HCs about you, yes you 🌟 star of my life !! 🌸 Better get comfy because I don't know when to stfu ??

100% best advice giver. Like I'm thinking I'm a hysterical, blubbering mess about something trivial and you'd be like bitch calm down come here have some wine (affectionate)

In my head you look like your PFP. Which is kinda like well duh, what a stupid HC Lola, BUT I mean it in the sense that I just know you're effortlessly graceful and have a really good fashion sense. You have that aura about you, like people wanna get to know to you. Also let me borrow your clothes and while you're at it can you give me a mini makeover in your style pls thanks

You have crazy good memory for the things people say and their likes and dislikes.

Which means you an 🌟amazing🌟 gift giver.

You are a perfectionist, which I mean in the nicest WAY. But basically if you do something that'll have your name on it, you make sure it's to your standard.

I feel like you're really gifted at something musical?? I could be totally wrong but maaaybe singing or playing the piano or something like that.

You are really quick-witted. That's not even a HC really, I mean it's just basic observation but I'm saying it anyway. The way you write such top tier bantering dialogue in your fics means there is no other reality but you being so hilarious without even needing to try 😚

I really need to learn how to write short sentences don't I? Yours and Faye's HCs were so succinct and mine are like the most confusing essays known to man okay I'm going now love u sm 💕

Wow an express delivery ask instead of the 5 business days that you had warned about! And you nailed most of them on the head too??? Shocked.

I don't know about being a great advice giver but I've been in that situation with my friends before LOL I like to be there for my friends as they talk out their problems and validate their concerns and occasionally point out when something is wrong.

That's a high praise thank you Lola! It's really weird that my friend just randomly told me the same thing about my mannerism. I never noticed it before, but I think it's because I feel the most comfortable when I'm composed and over time it becomes second nature. And we should totally try swapping styles because I like yours too!

I wouldn't say I remember EVERYTHING but with my ex, I used to keep a note full of things that he liked, tidbits like his shoe size and his parents' birthdays so I don't forget to send gifts etc. Now I still have an ongoing list for my best friends and family. I just really love lists. They are very helpful.

You're so right on the perfectionist bit. Being a chronic perfectionist used to literally ruin my life, but now it's on a healthy level (as in I don't beat myself up for not being good enough or hyperfixate on a small detail while the big picture is tumbling down). With my fics, I always have to give my 100%. It would bother me knowing if I could've done better but I didn't.

How did you guess this one omg?? I'm NOT musically gifted, but my childhood consisted of a lot of singing and piano lessons which I enjoyed, so the techniques are still floating somewhere in my head. I haven't played the piano in years (I wonder if the muscle memory is still there?) but I love to sing when I'm doing my stuff.

I'm glad you find me and my fics entertaining ;)

Also, don't you think this rambling thing is part of your charm? You're very affable and lovely to chat with and I never thought of you as annoying. You're always welcome to ramble away!

[stellamancer]

for the ask game niku baby!!! ✨🍰 (just sent back what u sent me hfbahsbfhhAHHA)

IT'S NOT EXACTLY THE SAME!!!

Uhhh. Succinct? Witty? And uhhhh can I say easy to read? I know it's not an adjective but.... Also when I say easy to read I mean in the sense of actual ease of reading. Not like.... I don't get too complicated, I think in terms of vocabulary. If that makes sense.

So there is this fic. I cannot link it because it's not posted anywhere any more, that my friend wrote like... forever ago. It was for Lavi from D.Gray-man. I think in today's landscape it could be labeled as... idk maybe problematic because there's an age gap— there's a lot of time travel involved so there are instances when the characters have a huge age gap and instances where they are the same age. Anyway, there's a line toward the end that's about marriage being a promise and I just thought that it was so sweet, it lives on in my heart even if the fic isn't accessible any more. I guess in a way that makes it hard to call it a comfort fic.

So, I guess I will also say the one fic in @/saetoru's rb!gojo series where Reader and Gojo get together, @/petrichorium's pumpkin spice and everything nice (it's the season for a re-read of that) and also, ofc @/shibaraki's voicemail #01. I can't link them because I'm on mobile LMAO.

[shitelock]

I'm not native, so it's kinda hard for me to understand what a song means in a subtextual way lmao. So, help me please. The song "if you don't love me now" it's confusing to me because I feel like that's ed trying to say "if you don't love my Edward persona, you will never love me in any other form", but what does it mean the part of the song that says "and I still hear you saying you will never break the chain"?

thank you so much for this ask.. thinking about song lyrics in relation to stede and ed is what I live for.. with that said this is my messy interpretation of these lines

the “if you don’t love me now” bit works in a lot of ways. at the end of episode 8, for ed, it means “if you leave with calico jack, if you don’t act on your love for stede now, you’re never going to get that chance again.” and “breaking the chain” in this sense could be about breaking out of the shackles of his ‘Blackbeard’ identity. “I can still hear you saying you will never break the chain”—ed can still hear his old promises to himself that he’s a monster, he’ll always be a monster, and he might as well give in to it because he doesn't deserve any better. but he doesn’t give in. he breaks the chain and returns to stede, and even though they get “chained” in another way (captured), it’s okay, because they’re in it together now.

but when we watch the finale this song feels different. sadder. it feels more like the breakup song that it really is. now it’s switched perspectives to stede, and it’s saying “if you ditch ed on that dock, if you let him leave without you, if you don’t love him now, you’re going to lose him.” but stede still has so much guilt in this moment! and “breaking the chain” here can be the same as it was for ed, the expectations for himself, but where ed succeeded stede succumbs. he lets the chain tighten and he returns to his old life.

alternatively “breaking the chain” could be stede breaking the relationship between them. ed saying “i can still hear you promising to run away with me,” but when stede leaves him without a word, he’s making himself out to be a liar and breaks the chain that ties them together in the process.

(also—ed being left on the dock, showing stede the most authentic and vulnerable version of himself, “if he doesn’t love me like this he’ll never love me”)

i'm sure other people have described this in a much more succinct way but this is what's going on in my rotten brain when i listen to this song. love u anon happy sailing <33

[4stars-uswnt]

Livestream Revelations [Christen Press x Reader]

requested by anon: Can you do a cute Christen Press Quarantine type of imagine? There could never be enough Pressy to go around hahaha. Thank youuu

requested by anon: Could you please write a cute quarantine interview/livestream with christen?

A/N: i agree! there def could never be enough cp to around...gosh i love that woman. also, this was one of my favs, so i hope you all enjoy it too! lemme know what u think :)

“Hey guys.” You smile into the camera, as you lean your phone against your water bottle. “We’re extremely bored, so we decided to come on here and answer some questions.”

You look over to your girlfriend, encouraging her to say something.

“(Y/N) practically forced me to do this.” Christen rolls her eyes, hiding a grin.

You playfully push her shoulder, laughing. “Don’t even lie, Chris. You love interacting with the fans, plus you were bored out of your mind.”

At that, Christen can only smirk, knowing you were right.

The two of you had been dating for almost four years now and lived together in an apartment in Seattle during the offseason. When COVID first hit, before lockdown was enforced, Christen quickly got on the first flight from Utah, so that the two of you could quarantine together. Now, almost 5 months later, the two of you were going slightly insane. Although you loved spending time with each other, especially considering the NWSL season often separated you two, not being able to go out was causing you to go a little stir crazy.

“Alright,” you clap your hands and scroll through the incoming comments, “let’s see what kind of questions you guys have.”

“Oh, there’s one.” Christen squints, pointing to one of the recurring questions. “How did the two of you meet?”

“Oh, this is a funny story.” You chuckle. “Well, we met in college, and we actually met in our Philosophy class before we even met on the team.”

Before you can continue to tell the story, Christen interrupts you, her cheeks flushed. “Nooooo. Please don’t tell this story. It’s so embarrassing.”

“Awww,” You coo, pinching her cheeks, “it was adorable, babe.”

Your girlfriend pouts and crosses her arms, as you start again. “So, basically, our professor had assigned seats, but Ms. Press over here didn’t know that. So, I go to sit in my seat only to find that someone else was sitting there, and I say to her, ‘I think you’re in my seat,’ and she looks up at me and said… what did you say to me?” You look over at your blushing girlfriend with a teasing glint in your eye.

Christen covers her face with her hands and mumbles out something.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” You lean in closer.

The older forward removes her hands. “I said, ‘Your seat? This can be your seat if you give me your number.”

At that, you throw your head back and burst out laughing. Looking back at your phone, you see a flood of comments from many of your national team teammates.

“Ha! Megan said, ‘That doesn’t sound like the Pressy I know.’” You turn back to your girlfriend and poke her side. “Yeah, that was a pretty bold move for you.”

“I thought you were beautiful, and I didn’t know if I’d see you again, so I thought, why not?” Christen shrugs.

“Awwww, babe. You thought I was beautiful?” You give her a wet kiss on her cheek.

“You still are.” She grumbles, wiping her face. You feel your cheeks warm and your heart melt, and you give her a quick kiss.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Christen responds, before looking at the incoming questions. “Hmmm, okay, next question. Let’s see… oh, here’s one: (Y/N), what’s your favorite thing about me?”

“Is that really a question, or do you just want me to boost your ego?” You raise your eyebrow skeptically.

“It’s an actual question!” Christen insists, gesturing to the phone.

You breathe out a laugh. “Okay, uhhhhh, do you mean like favorite physical feature or favorite personality trait…?” You trail off, and Christen slaps your shoulder.

“Stop stalling!”

“Alright, alright.” You throw your hands up in innocence. “Well, I’ll just answer both. My favorite physical feature of my gorgeous girlfriend would have to be her smile. It literally just lights up my entire world and is just so infectious.”

As you answer, a wide smile breaks out on your girlfriend’s face.

“See what I mean.” You find yourself grinning, fondly admiring the woman you love. “And, my favorite personality trait of Christen would have to be… hmmm, this one is difficult because I just love everything about her.” You honestly admit.

“Aw, babe, I love you, too.” Christen’s face softens, and she pulls you in for a tender kiss. “But answer the question.”

“Ahhh, okay!” You chuckle. It takes you a couple of seconds to come up with a succinct answer, but you finally find the words to an answer. “I wouldn’t say that I have a favorite trait, but one thing that I appreciate about Christen is her huge heart. She is just so compassionate and caring for everyone around her, and she’s so selfless, just always giving. She has so much love in her heart, and I’m just so lucky that she’s shared some with me.”

Your voice cracks at the end, as you start getting a little emotional, and you can see Christen discreetly wiping her eyes.

Clearing your throat, you look back at the comments, and you smile, as the forward mouths an ‘I love you.’

By now, there are many comments from fans saying ‘They’re so cute!’ or ‘MY SHIP’ or even ‘my heart can’t take this.’ You scroll through them and spot a few from your teammates.

mrapinoe: This is so gay

mrapinoe: I love it

tobinheath: You guys are so cute!

ashlynharris24: Wow, who knew (Y/N) could be so romantic

kelleyohara: C’mon dude answer my question!!!!

You let out a small laugh at your best friend’s comment. “What’s your question, Kel?”

You and Christen wait a couple of seconds for the defender to type out her question. Amidst the hundreds comments, you finally see Kelley’s name pop up again. 

“Kelley says, ‘(Y/N), is it true that you had a crush on someone while at Stanford?’” Christen reads from the screen, before turning to glare at you.

You cringe under the scrutiny of your girlfriend. “Wow, Kel, are you trying to get me in trouble?” You mutter out.

“Answer the question, (Y/N).” Christen pushes, jealousy seeping through her voice. Throughout your time at Stanford, the two of you had been best friends, telling each other everything, but Christen had never been aware of any crush you’d had.

“Ummm… well there was this one girl that I really liked.” You trail off, avoiding your girlfriend’s eyes.

“Really?” Christen raises her eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, but I was too nervous to do anything about it.” You shrug, not wanting to elaborate anymore, but the forward wasn’t going to let you off the hook that easily.

“Who was it? Do I know her?”

“Chris, it’s not that big of a deal. This was like ten years ago.”

“Was it Ali? Morgan? Lea? Oh my gosh, was it Kelley?” Christen interrogates, as you shake your head to each of them.

“Ew, Chris, you think I had a crush on Kelley. She’s like my sister!” You gag at the mental image.

“Well, then who was it?” She wines.

“It was you.” You admit. Although the two of you met at Stanford, and Christen so boldly asked for your number, you hadn’t started dating until four years ago, as neither of you wanted to ruin your friendship.

“What?” Christen’s eyes widen.

“I had a huge crush on you when we were in college. From the moment that you were sitting in my seat, I knew you were the one, as cheesy as that sounds. And as we spent more time together, on and off the pitch, my feelings grew stronger and stronger, but I didn’t know if you felt the same, so I never told you. I didn’t want to lose you as a friend.” You reveal, rambling on.

“Seriously?” Christen whispers, and you nod.

“Dead serious, babe.”

Not knowing what to say, your girlfriend cups your face and brings you in for a sweet kiss.

Before the kiss could get too heated on camera, Christen pulls away. “By the way, I had a little crush on you in college as well.”

“Hm, really?” You smirk.

“Mhm.”

“Well, we ended up together in the end, didn’t we?” You brush a hair out of her face.

“Yup, I always had a feeling we would.” Christen playfully boasts.

“Okay there, Delphi.” You joke, as your girlfriend pushes you away, calling you a nerd.

“Well, alright you guys, I think that we’re gonna end this livestream right now because we’re not too bored anymore, or at least I found something else to do.” You wiggle your brows at Christen, smirking.

“(Y/N)!” Christen slaps your shoulder.

ashlynharris24: Get it (Y/N)!!!

alexmorgan13: Real smooth (Y/N/N)

allie_long_: 🔥🔥🥵

“See you all later!” You wave at the camera and end the stream.

After you shutting off your phone and tossing it on the couch, you turn to your girlfriend. “So now what?”

“Well, all of a sudden I’m not that bored, and I think we have some lost time to make up for.” Christen sings, looking over her shoulder, as she makes her way towards the bedroom. “You coming?”

“Gosh, I love you, Christen Press.” You grin, before scrambling off your chair and following your girlfriend into your bedroom.

[ryctone]

Okay but with all the hype for the new event I forgot I made a Dark Choco & Croissant fic based on @the-wereraven's Golden Child!AU lol;;

Srry if the pace is weird I wrote this when it was late and I just wanted to write fluff of these two; Also Raven, I put some of my headcanons in these hope u don’t mind TwT.

(Warnings: Fluff, so much fluff and Dark Choco being a good older brother for a sick lil Croissant. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.) enjoy!

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The prince carried himself with elegance and grace. So much in fact, that his metal shoes touched the yellow-stone flooring with utter gentleness, soft and delicate as a trail of kisses. Despite the circumstances.

He didn't expect to receive a letter from the Cheese Kingdom that day, even less being informed that Golden Cheese's daughter; his pupil, was sick. Dark choco just had to see for himself, specially after how... peculiar this sickness was. He just wanted to make sure she was okay.

The guards at the door were already familiar with the heir of the Cacao Kingdom, since both their rulers are very close allays and knew he'd do no harm to the already i'll princess, granted him access to pay her a visit.

He entered the room and was greeted by-

“Hi, Choo.” came a little voice, muffled by the many blankets covering it before slowly revealing a little freckled face with golden eyes. Dark Choco paused mid-step, then smiled to himself.

Princess Croissant Cookie wasn’t just any cookie, that was certain. In the years since first being instated as his pupil of the throne by Golden Cheese herself; to show the young princess of Cheese Valley the ropes of ruling when the times comes; she had gone onward and upwards in proving her virtue and worth at such a young age, making for herself a dear place in the prince’s heart.

“Yes, it’s me. Hello Croissant!” The long haired prince proceeds to sit at the edge of the sumptuous bed.

“It’s really nice...that you’re here.” It was not the usual voice the little cookie addressed him with. Not the un-selfconscious, innocent delight and adoration of Croissant’s voracious curiosity. Rather, this was the voice that croaked and groaned, miserable enough to get the week off from school and not even enjoy it, though being Croissant, fell a little short. She had never enjoyed missing out on learning for anything, as Dark Choco well knew.

It hadn’t been the first time the prince had nursed his student through an illness, though it had been a while since the last time, and the fact this wasn't a normal sickness.

“I’m really glad you’re here. Thank you.”

The innocent sincerity touched Dark Choco, as it always did. “Of course, Cross. Your mom sent word to me as soon she knew too. You were quick to figure it out.”

The sick golden child made an aimless, sweeping gesture with her hand. “The first hundred degrees I went above normal were a bit of a clue. Candyneritus!” she suddenly exclaimed, knocking a few beetle and bird plushies about the floor.

“Candyneritus!” the little cookie cried out again. “Candynnnnnerrrrriiiiiiitus!” Dark Choco feared his student slipping into a moment of delirium. “I’m sorry,” Croissant said sullenly. “Is mom okay? I hope I got away from that sick cakehound quick enough.” She groaned and turned over.

“She is. She doesn't seem to have any symptoms according to the nurses. But is best to keep her out of your range until you’re feeling better and it can be disinfected completely.”

The freckled cookie nodded. “I hope she’s not worried...” she worried aloud.

“Only as much as you are.” Dark Choco said warmly.

“How do I even catch a Cakehound disease anyway? I’ve never heard of it happening, or read of it, or even read a story about it! Even for you, Choo, this has to be a first.” 

Dark Choco accommodated the shifted blankets to cover his little student. “Indeed it is, I’ve never heard of it, let alone seen it happen.”

Croissant gave a throaty chuckle, which quickly descended into a cough. “It shouldn’t even be possible. It’s too terrible to be allowed. I’m all achy and dizzy and shakey...and that’s not even a real adjective! Or is it an adverb?” Croissant grumbled and kicked some of her blankets off. “...I’m cold now,” she intoned quietly. “I’m sorry, choo.”

“Don’t think anything of it, Cross. You’re not well.” the prince said as he tucked her in with her blankets once more.

“I know. I’m trying to think straight, but I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.”

“If you’d rather sleep, I could—”

“No! Please, stay?” Her winged form scrambled and scooped her way through the blankets and pillows until she was more or less grabbing Dark Choco's arm. Her wide, wobbling eyes pleaded wantonly. She shivered, then buried her head in the remaining cushions that weren't on the floor to keep warm.

“Croissant. It’s alright. I'm here.” He said in a reassuring tone, seeing her act like this breaks his heart a little.

“I think it’s my high magic quotient,” she said irritably into the fluffy pillows. “Anycookie would be immune, because cakehounds are really magical too, so any flu that targeted them would have to be adapted specifically for that. The Candyneritus thinks I’m a cakehound, so now my body thinks it is one too, and is fighting it that way. My magic is tricking itself.”

Dark Choco paused, then looked back to his student. “That was surprisingly succinct.”

“Well, I am sick, but that doesn’t mean—” She sneezed. The thick, viscous kind of sneeze perpetrated by only the true mucous exporter. Right in Dark Choco’s face. Croissant looked more sheepish than an actual cotton candy sheep. Dark Choco just casually whipped it out with a gloved hand; he has to remind himself to clean up later.

“I was actually considering much along those lines as well.”

It might have just been the fever, but Croissant’s eyes took on a particular shine. “You mean it?”

“I do.”

“I think like you do? I always,—I mean, I wondered and maybe, maybe I hoped that...I’m glad.” Her head and eyelids sank respectively. “Choo?”

“Yes?”

“I know...I know I’m not really thinking straight, and I’m kind of scared and everything’s still hurt, but...but...”

“I love you.”

Dark Choco drew a gasp. Suddenly his poise and calm were fleeting things before him.

“I love you. You’re like the brother I never had. And...and...and usually I’m so worried about one thing or another, or thinking things through so much, but...but, I can barely hear myself think right now. I’m just babbling, but it’s nice for once not thinking and just saying.”

“Cross.”

The winged child found the strength to dredge her head up from the pillow. “I love you, and I don’t say that enough and maybe no cookie says it enough even though we mean to, and especially not enough to you because you’re so much, so amazing, and for everything I’ve done and been and learned... Everything I’ve learned, and I find out there’s two more things I didn’t know and-”

“Croissant.”

“...and how much you’ve done for me, because maybe a tower full of books is what I used to think was the biggest gift to me you ever gave, but I’m just a silly, sick cookie and when I’m better I’m going to be so embarrassed but I want to say it anyway, because it wasn’t the tower or the books that means so much; it’s every time you make me smile, or inspire me, or challenge me to grow, and I realize now that you’ve been treating me my whole life as... Me, and not just a spoiled lil' princess to put in a pedestal and I love you for everything and why am I crying and smiling at the same time?”

Exhausted, Croissant dropped softly to her caramel-colored bed. The occasional tear going down her cheeks with a sniff. “And now I’m scared,” she whispered. “Because I don’t know what’ll happen once I’m through the fever or if I’ll even—”

“Cheese Croissant Cookie” Dark Choco said, being firm yet gentle with his tone. “It’ll be okay. I’m here, and I won’t leave you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“But how—”

“Don’t concern yourself with that. You just get some rest and I’ll be right here.” Croissant sniffled and shivered. “Just sleep now.”

“I think...” she mumbled as her eyes drooped. “I think I can, now. I’m not so afraid with you here. I’m glad I said what I said.” 

“Sleep, Cross. I’ll watch over you.” Croissant murmured something as she sank softly into sleep. After a little while and in the privacy of the utterly spacious room, Dark Choco smiled.

“I love you too.” He whispered to the sleeping little cookie before him. Dark Choco listened to Croissant’s breathing and, in the glow of the setting sun outside the window, felt himself richer than all the marbled cheese towers.

[akajustmerry]

hi merry, hope you’re doing well n sending love ❤️ just wanted to let you know i’m rewatching firefly (i’ll take the L) and whenever they hint at shepherd book’s previous history but never elaborate i think of those perfectly valid serenity grievances you listed and seeeeeethe over what could have been 😤

mind if i ask your fav episode of firefly and why? i’ve always been a fan of the message and safe, bc i love seeing all of mal and simon’s true colors.

hello, i hope you're having fun with it as much as u can!

and yes, honestly!!!! the way whedon just KILLED HIM in serenity rather than just come up with a clever succinct way of weaving his true identity in there? pathetic!

also, totally get why the message and safe are standouts! the message is such an emotional time and the final sequence with the lingering shots on each of them is so gutwrenching!

anyways, firefly is one of the few series where i genuinely love every episode and picking a favourite is really hard, but i find i usually come back to our mrs reyonalds, shindig, objects in space, and bushwhacked!

i love our mrs reynolds because i love a grifter gone wrong story and i love how all of the crew's reaction to saffron says so much about who they are. plus, "We always knew you kids would get together. Who is she!?" is my FAVOURITE Wash line.

shindig i love because i am a sucker for a party episode and while the ep has not aged well for its feminism i still kinda love the grubby old-timey glamour in space vibes of it all. also, there's always a teen!me out there somewhere shipping mal and inarra and shindig is their fave episode 🤷🏽

objects in space is just one of my favourite eps of anything ever to this day. i love river's pov, the suspense when the assassin arrives, the way the crew rally around river and, of course, it's one of the few eps where river gets to have clarity and it's this wonderful bright shadow of what could have been.

as for bushwhacked? i just love the horror of the reavers. whedon went off with how scary they are, honestly, and that episode is almost like a little quality b-grade space-horror to me.

anyways, hope you keep enjoying your rewatch! I've been meaning to do one soon 💕

[rosesloveletters]

I hope this isn't too weird but I went to the unsentproject site and looked up your name and found these:

"Hey baby, I love you still. I always will."

"You're my forever inspiration. Ily."

"I'm obsessed with you. You're my sun, my moon, my world revolves around you. What am I without you?"

"You mean so much to me I will always love u endlessly."

And I couldn't help but wonder, out of these 4 which of your f/os would say which line to you?

Oh, darling, this isn't weird at all! Thank you SO MUCH for sending me these lovely prompts🥺💛 I hope you are doing well, dear, I'm sending you lots of love and strength.

As for your question:

"Hey baby, I love you still. I always will."

I think Patrick would be the one to say this one. It is succinct and gets the point across; Pat could go on and on whenever it came to us, but I think this is the only thing I really need to hear from him now. Things are strained with him as a F/O (J too) and to hear this from him would give me the closure and acceptance I need so that I know he doesn't blame me for our difficult relationship. Wherever we are, I need to know that I am still loved by him.

"You're my forever inspiration. Ily."

This would have to be something Jakob would say. We are both writers and are constantly drawing our inspiration from one another (I like to think I'm his muse and vice versa.)

"I'm obsessed with you. You're my sun, my moon, my world revolves around you. What am I without you?"

This would definitely be something Commodus would say (I haven't talked about him in ages.) This just gives off his kind of vibe, specifically the 'obsession' part; that tends to be the type of way that he loves. He is lost without love and he thrives off of positive attention.

"You mean so much to me I will always love u endlessly."

This could be any of my F/Os, to be honest with you. I could see Will saying it or perhaps even one of my platonic or familial F/Os. The only one I couldn't ever hear would be J; he doesn't voice his emotions very often and would not want to give me the satisfaction (J's a cold-hearted bastard and I love him for it💛 Only because he shows his love rather than says it.) I don't talk about some of my F/Os here, but those are perhaps the ones I would say would be the ones to say something of this nature.

Thank you so so much for sending this to me, it was really fun deciding which F/Os would say which lines. I really appreciate you thinking of me and sending such a sweet ask. I love you💛

[greatfay]

since ur answering asks and shit can u explain what u meant by generational differences in communication

Damn it’s like 2015 tumblr when my inbox used to be WET. So if you’re talking about the controversial opinions post, YES, like I totally understand where people are coming from when they say that generational divides aren’t real (because they aren’t, they’re arbitrary) and distract us from real problems and yes they paint past generations as collectively bigoted when Civil Rights protestors in the 60s (who are in their 70s and 80s now) are mirrors to BLM protestors today, who could be of any age, but the most vocal and famous (at least online, especially irt to the founders, like Patrisse Cullors who is 37.

But how we communicate is sooooo different. I really point to the Internet and Social Media as a major influence in how younger millennials (more Tom Hollands and less Seth Rogans—see even there, I feel like there are two different types of Millennials) and Gen Zrs/Zoomers and even Generation Alpha behave and communicate. We live in a world where we grew up either knowing right out the gate or discovering the hard way that what we say and do has permanence, the kind of permanence that prior generations have never experienced until today. The dumb things kids have been saying since forever can now follow them... forever. We have an inherent understanding of how online spaces work. Compare that to, idk, let’s say you posted on your Facebook (for the first time in 18 months) “All these big and bad grown ass Senators going after actual child Greta Gerwig lol ok, you’re so brave for attacking a CHILD over climate change” and then your aunt, who’s turning “forty-fifteen” in May replies to your post with “So happy to see my passionate niece! Much love from us, hope you’re doing well. Paul is doing great, waiting on his screening results. Tell your mom I said we miss her, we need to get together, we forgive her for last Christmas.”

Like... ok there’s a lot going on there, but your hypothetical aunt is oversharing on a publicly accessible post. And even with the most strict of privacy settings, she’s oversharing where your other Facebook friends (which may include classmates, coworkers, etc.) can see. But she’s saying things that would only be appropriate in a 1-on-1 conversation. This Aunt doesn’t have an understanding of such boundaries, she’s not as technologically literate and hasn’t grown up in a world of Virtual Space, she still gets most of her news from TV, she trusts what a reporter on Channel 4 will read off a script more than what actual video footage of an incident might reveal on Twitter, and she has no clue that she’s been sharing her location data with every post she makes.

There’s such a huge difference. I think it even affects how we experience and express stress and frustration. I think growing up partially in online spaces has made me more accustomed to conflict and consequence-free arguing than someone who never had to worry about that. I’ve been exposed so much to harassment and bullying, triangulating and echo chambers in forums and threads, and vastly opposing point of views at such an early age that it’s had an effect on how I see the world. Compare this to a customer I helped two weeks ago who was looking for a specific type of supplement for children. I found it for her, I handed her exactly what she was looking for, even though her description of the product actually matched several different products; to make sure I’d done my job thoroughly and that she leaves happy and satisfied and doesn’t bother me again, I then show her more products that match her description so that she knows she has options. And she proceeds to freak out, saying “NO, NO, I’M LOOKING FOR [X] AND IT HAS TO BE [XYZ]” and when I say freak out, she looked stressed and PANICKED. And being a retail employee wears you down bit by bit, and add COVID on top of it and little shit like this makes you snap, sometimes. So I have to cut her off like “Why are you screaming and freaking out, jfc you’re holding what you said you wanted. It’s in your hands. I gave you what you wanted, I’m just showing you more things.”

That customer is not an exception, she’s not a unique case. She’s representative of a frightening percentage of her generation, the kids who watched Grease and The Breakfast Club and Ghost in theaters when they were originally released. This is how they communicate and process information. She could not, for some reason, register that her need had been fulfilled, and defaulted to an extreme emotional response when given new and different information.

I’ve yet to deal with someone younger than 35 act the same way, the exceptions being the kids of very wealthy people at my new job who reek of privilege I gag when they walk in—but even they are like *shrugs* “ok whatever” and understanding when there’s something I can’t do for them.

Me: “sorry, we are totally out of that one in your size, but I can order it for you, it’s 2-3 day shipping at no cost to you and we ship it straight to your house”

A rich, white, attractive 22-year-old who’s had access to organic food, a rigorous dermatologist, and financial security since she was born: “mmm... sure, I’ll order it”

A 47-year-old of any socioeconomic background, of any race, in the same situation: “AHHHHHHHHHHH”

I just think it’s crazy how three generations of kids and young adults raised in a world where everything moves so much faster, where knowledge and entertainment and communication can be gathered so much faster, are often so much more polite and patient and understanding. Yesterday I told an older man (mid-50s) whose native tongue is the same as mine, as clearly and succinct as possible, that what he’s looking for is “in aisle 4.” He proceeded to repeat back, “Aisle 7?” four time before I dropped everything to show him what he needed in aisle 4, despite his insistence that he didn’t need me to walk him there. 4 and 7 sound nothing alike in English. There’s just something going on up there 🧠 that’s different.

Oh, other generational divides!!! We have different approaches to labor and working. Totally different! I’m a “young” millennial where I’m almost Gen Z, and I’ve noticed an awful trend among my demographic where people actually brag about working 90 hour work weeks. Or brag about how they skip breaks and live on-call to get the job done for “the hustle” like this “hustle, become a millionaire by 30″ culture that’s dominated these kids, idk where tf that came from. Like why are you proud of being a wage slave, getting taken advantage of by your millionaire/billionaire overlords. Compare this to my mother’s generation (she’s a borderline Genius X’er, she and her best friend were a year too young to watch Grease when it came out and had a random older woman buy tickets for her; she went to Prince concerts, took photos of him, then sold the photos on buttons at school, that’s her culture and teenage experience), where she’s insistent on her rights and entitlements as an employee, and these things she instilled me: “whatchu mean they didn’t schedule a break for you and you’re working 12 hrs today? oh no, you’re off, don’t answer your phone cuz you are NOT available!” There are Gen X’ers who entered the workforce at a time that America was drifting toward this corporate world, with more strictly defined regulations, roles, and understandings of labor rights (and also, let’s talk about how the 80s there was so much more attention on workplace harassment, misogyny and gender divides in wage gaps, etc. etc... not that much has changed, but at least it was talked about!). There are young people today who are taken advantage of because they aren’t as informed or don’t feel as secure and valuable enough to claim what belongs to them.

At the same time, those generations (Gen X and older) have a different viewpoint of hierarchies in the workplace and respect irt our direct supervisors. That’s how you get this blurring of boundaries between Work Life and one’s Personal Life that leads to common tropes in media written by their generations, where oh no! I’m having my boss over for dinner and the roast beef is still defrosting :O is such a “relatable thing” for them... meanwhile us younger generations are like I don’t even like that you know where I live, and if I see your 2017 Honda Civic pass my place one day, we’re going to have a problem. I think older generations have a different relationship with the word “Respect” than we do. Like, my grandma, who’s turning 87 (?) this year, and the other seniors in my area, they have a different concept of honor and an expectation of professional boundaries that I, and my mom and her generation, just don’t see (so then there’s something in common with Gen X’ers and the rest of us.) My dad grew up in a world where talking and acting like George Bailey and knocking on someone’s door with a big smile could get you a job, a job that could pay for college and rent no problem. My mom grew up in a world that demanded more prestige, where cover letters and references could get you into some cushy jobs if you’re persistent and ballsy enough. And I grew up in a world where potential employers literally don’t see your face when you apply unless they lurk on any social media profiles you have publicly available and they hold all the cards, and you need all those CVs and reference letters just to make minimum wage... so I feel like I am powerless in the face of such employers.

[bxngthedoldrums]

not to get sad but what do u think gabe n william were like just before they broke up:(

tldr: i have no idea but i def think william was the catalyst of the breakup. from what I can infer, they were a lot less Dramatique than petekey, and always communicated better than most other couples on the scene,,, anyway, i think it hurt gabe a Lot and i think william was a bit better at hiding it but that shit hurted

now,,, if ur interested in my justification and breakdown of this whole situation, read ahead:

HONESTLY the timeline of gabilliam is so difficult to grasp since we don't have a primary source in the way we do re: petekey so it's hard to say for sure BUT we can try and piece together things from their albums at the time

so fast times at barrington high came out Aug 2008, hot mess was Aug 2009, and lost in pacific time was Sept 2009. i think fast times is a valid source for what id consider the beginning of the end.

fast times is a fairly lighthearted album imo but there's a few songs to note here: automatic eyes, coppertone, and beware! cougar!. automatic eyes is rly telling imo "five years disappeared that night" so... five yrs prior to 2008 is 2003 which is abt the time gabe and william wldve met but ANYWAY.... automatic eyes seems to indicate some form of distrust/misunderstanding between the two of them,,, the whole. chorus,,, i mean!

coppertone is 1. my fav song on this album prob and 2. riddled with melancholy nostalgia for days past and some withering hope of the future. i can only presume that following automatic eyes, lyrics like "these mistakes are just a part of the ride" and "i still feel the same, no one's to blame" is Williams way of gripping for the sand slipping thru his fingers.

beware! cougar! is so undeniably gabilliam I truly can't believe they RELEASED THAT but anyway... "young love is ruthless so learn to fly" among others are tinged w such sadness and like? slight regret.... bruh

so that gives u an initial foundation of how william was feeling in 2008, tensions rising, etc. 2009 is when things get Inch Resting w the release of hot mess, with soul-crushing hits like fold your hands child and the world will never do

fold your hands child has historically been a point of interest for scene kids that ship gabilliam everywhere, and for good reason. it seems they were trying to??? patch up whatever bumps they'd experienced in 2008, but "i was the only one protecting you/now that im gone, how can we do the things we used to?" is like. 👁️👁️.

the world will never do is rly sad lmao "there's no me without you" etc,,, i honestly think late spring 2009 was the last time gabilliam was together, and what caused that split? let's take a look @ lost in pacific time,,

other than being tai's last EP it also has 3 sad ass songs that Definitely seem indicative of a breakup,,, sputter??? bitch.... "but all along I knew that we would sputter out",, new york is so heartbreaking too lmao and IN THE REARVIEW????

in the rearview is so damning imo,, with lyrics that, to me, clearly allude to gabe??? homie... HOMIE....... but in summation, and to answer your ask in a succinct way, i do think william was the one who broke up w gabe, rather than the other way around. by 2008 something had already Happened and william was shook up by it, but they tried real fuckin hard to smooth it over

obviously that did Not Work and by 2009 they were separated, as far as I can guess. they have the benefit of not ending as poorly as petekey did, as I imagine their communication was a bit more clear. there's a lot less bitter breakup songs from the both of them post-2009 in comparison to pete, and they still got along each time they've seen each other since

[gayspock]

dont rb its simply little emo moments for yourself truly

mm. thought of eating makes me feel ill. cant take my meds on an empty stomach or i get faint&dizzy. shouldn’t keep screwing with meds like this & unsure of wht brought it all on. bc nothins happened. and i wasnt doin so badly - at least, with regards to that  - for the past while, but gggod... rn i feel like cryin , dont wnt to stomach anythin. the idea of puttin anythin in my mouth makes me wanna gag or sob. and im bein irrational, ik i am. mmhm. but also idk.

also just feelin v passively sad and deeply lonely. nothin new but idk. hum hum. u kno how u phase in and out... different manners of being miserable. sometimes its all meltdowns and whatnot AND sometimes its all spacey. idk ive been something approximating the latter for the past while but also, notably lucid the past few hours. like it’s all unreal and yet there’s those moments of like... immense awareness, but like it’s from a different perspective kinda vibe u kno? man, u kno the vibe. like tht vibe. and idk the vibe of tht is: not meltin down in a big bold and sexy way but fuckn god. sombre reflection or whotever... metaphorically taking yourself between your fingers with a loupe- the inspection, and passin judgement. letting yourself FEEL that self-hatred, in the detached manner. you know wht i mean. THAT kinda night, girlies. like oh i hate myself. class act. i hate myself well. and truly i do and i sincerely do wish i was not alive- kinda feeling... and the sentiment is devoid of emotion: instead its all rationale and realities that you thumb through that are objectionable. clinical assessment of youre a fucking failure and how little you can do . hopelessness but no need to wallow in hopelessness because it’s self-perpetuating and its time to just sit with it all and just kinda loathe your own existence ... puarely because there’s nowt to be done , my girls. nowt at all but the You Know What. contemplating. its so senseless to keep going . you know how it is. in objective terms .

dont know. hate myself. fuckn wish i was dead innit.  wish there were succinct ways of sayin it. unsure of whether it actually matters if there are, but sometimes just doesnt feel like sayin hate myself is enough. sometimes want words of brevity that still resound with... the depth of that. you know what i mean. im not good at shite like that, but im not good at any shite. feel hopeless feel empty feel so blank and like empty space- not even in an absence sense, but in an nonexisting sense- and what little substance there is is what... existing in farfetched realities , weird-ass fuckin fantasy and even in that im still a void but there’s some colour you know wht i mean. maybe context. or maybe i AM an empty space, an absence, as opposed to just nothing. like, i dont think i can indulge in idea where someone would love me or where i was good at something  or there was fulfilment but there are just ... thoughts sometimes and dreams where its like: im as miserable and as stupid and as useless as i am but im not always confined to blank walls and silence as i have been for too long but there’s situation around me and i hate it still- god i hate it still - and its empty still and its meaningless.

and i dont know. people who are sad - other people who are sad - always seem to have this  yearning or longing in A sense do you know what i mean and i know its skewed i recognise its inherently a biased perspective . that only the people who are sad, and who Want, will talk about wanting because otherwise there would be nothing to say and so those to the contrary are naturally silent but also. do you know wht i mean .. i wish i was Sad in a way that was tragic and felt like a demand of something , that i was sad in a way that made me Sad for the fact i was lonely or sad that i was inadequate and i wish that sadness could manifest into something, like the idea of poetry and writing and a sadness with not a purpose but with a personality but i dont know with the years that go by. void and whatnot. i dont know what i want and i keep approaching things, thinking maybe this is it, but then i think its just the idea of it that traps me. the idea of maybe wanting something until that breaks down and i realise i dont want it at all. does it make sense. mourn the loss of not achieving only to realise i dont know if i even wanted to. i dont want any of it.  i cant talk to anyone any more and sometimes i think to myself “god i had such a big personality- not even when i was younger, but maybe even 4 years ago” and i dont know if i ever did i still cant tell how much is me just spinning wheels out of necessity . i know i overcompensate way too much sometimes when im a little freaked out as to how to act but even that isnt so much POSSIBLE these days but sometimes it is but then that makes the starkness of it all so much more... stark when u go from dead silence, incapble of even pretending to want to talk to want to Exist, to the fuckn ceaseless empty word vomit . spinning wheels. spinning plates? idk. idk how to talk to someone normally and im 21 in a week , and i dont mean in terms of anxiety, i simply just cant find anything within myself of substance and i truly am too too tired to keep at it, to keep it going, to keep overcompensating and forcing a presence . its exhausting it isnt sustainable and its why i cant even do it any more i think  . i dont kno wht i am and whatnot u know wht i mean. i cant keep goin like this is all i know. i dont want anything. and its sincerely not worth it to keep living for nothing. it just isnt. im sick of my existence. exhausted with the hopelessness. hmm. im rambling and going everywhere all at once i believe.

[baegarrick]

Have you considered a Zukka soulmate AU where you feel the same pain as your soulmate does... I'm both very in love with and absolutely terrified of the concept [thinking emoji]

YES ok so there’s a post about it actually (i couldn't find it so its prob in my queue) that I’ve seen which was very funny (it involved katara going “sorry sokka we have to beat you up to slow down zuko” and advancing on him with a bat) + I think there’s actually a fic in the Zukka ao3 tag (that I haven’t actually read, I was just browsing it yesterday) 

I have some THOUGHTS that ended up being long bc im incapable of being succinct so here they are: 

I’m a little picky on soulmate aus bc so many of them just don’t follow common sense + take away the concept of free will (I like the idea of this person being your perfect match, but what you do about it is up to you, rather than the ones that are like “you’ll meet this person at this exact time which means that you WILL be in a place that you can meet them” which kinda takes away the concept of free will, you know??) 

+ soulmate aus are notoriously difficult to make long because the idea is that you’ll get along with them because they are meant to compliment you, so fics that have them argue for NO REASON don’t work bc... why??? if you want the soulmates to not get along at first, or NOT want to be soulmates, they have to have a pre-existing relationship that would make them not want to be soulmates..... like your soulmate being your ENEMY and the ENEMY OF YOUR PEOPLE and the PRINCE OF THE FIRE NATION or like...... u know, a water tribe peasant whos harboring the 112 year old avatar

ANYWAY-- I think this soulmate au concept has the potential to be a long fic IF you’re willing to do a show rewrite bc this is one of those ideas that would be difficult to figure out at first and also difficult to accept!! 

ok so, I'm thinking this would be from Sokka’s POV, bc we see him and Katara first and a majority of the show is centered on him and the Gaang. (alternatively, you could do switching POVs to also show Zuko)

you’d have to catalog every time Sokka gets hurt (+ severity) and also Zuko’s injuries (arguably more important from Sokka’s POV bc he feels them), but when Sokka gets hurt you have to throw in Zuko wincing from the injuries and subtly showing him reacting to the injuries in a way the reader notices but not Sokka (irony, anyone??)

[minor interruption: what are the rules for this universe? is it just pain you feel? is it as sharp as your soulmate’s real pain, or is it more of a phantom pain from the blow? does it fade, or does it linger? how severe does the pain have to be to feel it? feeling all their minor feelings would be incapacitating difficult, so im thinking it would have to just be actual pain, like if you were hit on the head and it throbs or if you get a paper cut, not just like minor friendly punch from a friend *cough* toph *cough*. also-- is it just pain or injuries too? if your soulmate is stabbed, do you bleed too?-- I’m thinking more the phantom pain bit. you feel the sharp sting of a paper cut, but when you look, nothing is there. did you imagine it? you suddenly feel a blow to your stomach and double over, but nothing touched you. your friends look at you weird, and you know your soulmate must be an asshole bc people punch them all the gd time!!]

ok so: sokka doesn't notice at first. the first fight he gets into with his soulmate is in the south pole, and he’s fighting a guy. he gets tossed into the snow, he can’t land a blow (and if the guy he's fighting feels anything he doesn’t show it, he’s a better soldier than that). but when he does!! the boomerang comes back and hits the guy on the back of the head, and he winces involuntarily. He thinks its a sympathy wince/pain bc he’s been hit by his own boomerang before. 

when zuko is covered in a shock of ice, sokka shivers. [ngl i don't remember all their injuries, its been like a month since my last rewatch]

(aang figures out real quick katara is his soulmate. he takes one look at this BEAUTIFUL OLDER WOMAN and has to pinch himself. she yelps and socks sokka, telling him to cut out pinching her. he does it three more times for posterity.)

it takes a couple of meetings of repeated exposure that Sokka finally gets it. he’s not stupid, he just never would have ever considered that his soulmate might be fire nation. he only realizes it after being paralyzed by june’s shirshu and seeing zuko wince in the same spot. he’s too paralyzed to react properly, but Zuko isn’t paralyzed, and he doesn’t seem to realize it (it takes him ages to figure it out, actually, bc he doesn’t pay any attention to Sokka at all, actually.)

he tells katara and aang, who laugh themselves silly. that is actually the funniest joke you have ever made, sokka, katara laughs. yeah, good one, sokka! aang says. sokka gets mad and asks if katara remembers when he was 12 and dad had just left and he stumbled into the snow screaming one day like he’d been burned, clutching his left eye, but there wasn’t a mark on him? how the phantom pain had faded quickly, but unlike all the other minor cuts and bruises he had felt his whole life, he remembered this viscerally. it hurts sometimes, for weeks after that. this sobers her up quickly. it had been hard to understand for her, because she had never felt a thing in her life from her soulmate before meeting aang. 

katara asks him to prove it, and sokka throws up his hands, because zuko isn't here, katara, can’t punch myself in the face to see if he reacts!!

but before he has a chance, zuko has an assassination attempt on his life. sokka wakes up screaming in the north pole, like the time when he was twelve, and the pain quickly fades, but like the burn on Zuko’s eye, this pain ebbs and flows and comes back. the healers can’t heal a phantom pain, and tell him that his soulmate has gotten into some serious trouble. (sokka tells them he wants to absolutely murder zuko which is difficult because someone else is trying to do it first!!!)

he doesn’t even have to punch zuko to show katara and aang that zuko’s his soulmate, the injuries that sokka had felt show that off pretty well, when he shows up at the pond with the moon and ocean spirits. but none of that even matters, because he kidnapped aang’s body, the moon is gone, and Sokka can’t even leave his stupid soulmate in the snow to die like he would very much like to!! after yue’s gone he doesn’t even want to think about zuko

ok im too lazy to go through the eps looking for a good place that zuko might realize sokka’s his soulmate, bc tbh he doesn’t pay too much attention to sokka (meanwhile, as their main enemy, zuko gets a lot of attention from sokka) 

its possible!! he doesn’t even notice until they’re at the western air temple. sokka gets a vote because zuko’s his soulmate. zuko’s just like. what. what? WHAT??????? and sokka’s like, oh good, he didn’t even notice!!! i’m taking back my vote!! I think we should throw him off the side of the temple!!!!!!

there's a lot of teasing from everyone. toph punches him a lot and says “its for zuko”. and then keeps doing it, loudly, when zuko’s at the air temple, embarrassed. (when toph is mad at sokka she punches zuko even when sokka’s right there. she wants them both to suffer.) 

katara struggles a lot during this whole thing with how often Aang gets into fights, but she grins and bears it because she’s strong!! she can handle it!! and she knows that aang likes her and would try to protect himself more (and therefore protect others less) if he knew how much it was hurting her. 

forgive me for this small essay i just have a lot of Thoughts all the time and not a lot of motivation to write real things

[himbowelsh]

Pls Hoosier on Valentine's list!

valentines day alphabet  ( accepting! ) 

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

He doesn’t, if he can help it. Unfortunately, Hoosier’s a bigger softie than he likes to admit. His affection shows itself through small gestures   ---   a blanket tucked around someone’s shoulders, food shared, limbs resting casually against each other during idle moments. If Hoosier’s willing to go out of his way for someone, even a little bit, then they matter to him. His smile could make flowers grow, so being on the receiving end of it tends to send the people he cares about a clear message.

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Absolutely not a bouquet man. Doesn’t trust flowers, doesn’t know how they work, and is not inclined to find out.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

Abso-fuckin-lutely. Hoosier would shank a man for some cherry cordials.

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He prefers to split the bill on any dates, because he’s cheap economically responsible like that. Hoosier’s ideal date wouldn’t involve paying at all; he’d have a great time doing something on just the right side of illegal, like sneaking into a movie (makes the cinema experience 10x more fun) or loitering in a potentially dangerous place. Coffee dates are pretentious, but he really likes coffee, so sometimes you’ve gotta take the good with the bad. He’d love to go to an animal shelter and, like, play with the dogs...  Hoosier’s not a hard person to take out, and he’s satisfied doing pretty much anything, so long as it’s not too boring.

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

what the hell is a hug   He doesn’t love them  ---  mostly because he’s been on the receiving end of too many of Chuckler’s post-workout sweaty bear hugs, and that’s something you never recover from. Hoosier’s particular about physical affection, unless it’s from someone he really considers His People  ---  even with his closest friends, he can be weird about hugs, though he’ll make allowances for his little siblings. He’s not a hugger himself.

F   :   FLIRT.   is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

He doesn’t, because it’s a lot of effort, and frankly he just can’t be assed. Hoosier doesn’t do charming small-talk; he’s not going to wine and dine someone he’s just interested in taking to bed. If he wants more than that, well...  he doesn’t even know how to go about it, so they better appreciate the drinks he’s willing to pay for. The other partner’s got to carry the conversation, because Hoosier can’t make small talk to save his life. His good looks and bluntness tend to carry him far enough  ---  as far as the bedroom.

G   :   GIFT.   is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

He really doesn’t try that hard. The sort of person to literally ask outright, “what do you want?” a week before a birthday...  then, to his credit, he goes out and tracks the thing down. (Leckie once gave him a really obscure book title, just to see what would happen. Hoosier turned up with it. The book had been out of print of years. This was a first-edition copy. No one knows where he got it, how, or if it was obtained legally.)

H   :   HEART.   is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

He’s...  slow because the idea scares him. Hoosier and intimacy...  do not mix. On a physical level, sure, but emotionally? He’s gonna glower that idea into submission and keep any pesky feelings that bubble up down for as long as possible. Hoosier does not love the idea of opening himself up to getting hurt, and doesn’t think he’s very suited for romance, so he’d just...  rather not.

I    :   I LOVE YOU.   does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Like we just said! Emotional intimacy is a Big Yikes for him! Anyone would be lucky to get an “I love you” out of him once. He’s got to be either very drunk or very sleepy to say it out loud  ---   both times are when he’s at his softest.

J   :   JEALOUSY.   does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Oh yeah. Hoosier can be...  territorial when it comes to the people he loves. He passionately dislikes anyone getting too close to his partner; there’s being friendly, and then there’s being more, and he’s got strong instincts for when something’s more than friendly. Hoosier makes up for it by being bitchier than usual, glowering at them and being a bit more physical with his partner. He’s rarely one for PDA, but Jealous Hoosier has some points to make.

K   :   KISS.   is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

He’s a very physical kisser, almost taking ownership of his partner through his lips; Hoosier Smith doesn’t kiss to play around. Hands on the ass, the thighs, gripping the hips as he grinds slightly against them; each breath seems to ripple between the two of them, a shared convulsion, before Hoosier goes right back in for more. He’s a hungry kisser, and a little feral about it  ---  bruises will be left along his partner’s neck, and their lips may be sore for days afterwards, but they way Hoosier leaves them seeing stars makes it all worth it.

L   :   LOVE.   who does your muse love?

He’s very fond of his little siblings, and very affectionate with them  ---  way more than anyone’s used to seeing out of him. Hoosier’s got Big Brother Instincts, even they don’t rear their head that often. He loves his mom and (very old, possibly immortal) grandparents; he’s very devoted to his friends, no matter how he rolls his eyes at Chuckler and Runner’s chaos or bitches at Leckie’s pretentiousness. That’s the thing about Hoosier  ---   he doesn’t love a lot of people, but the people he does love, he wants to keep.

M   :   MOONLIGHT.   is morning or night a more romantic setting?

Night, because he’s never up in the damn morning. Why would someone want to do things before 10am? Not this man. Anything that needs to get done can be done at midnight, or not at all.

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

He alternates between fierce and teasing, but Hoosier is very, very determined. God, does he love his partner’s reactions...  and he savors them, leading them along for as long as possible, dragging every encounter out until the end. Hoosier’s in no rush to finish; honestly, he has a bit of trouble finishing without his partner, and it’s usually seeing them go over the edge first that gets him there. He’s rough, rougher than he means to be at times; sex is the most energy he’ll ever expend at a given moment, and he turns it into a full-on workout, both parties slick with sweat by the end of it. Sometimes, he’ll just put his mouth to task, trailing it slowly along his partner’s body  ---  sucking kisses into their chest, their stomach, their hips, all the way to their thighs and what lies beyond.

O   :   ODE.   does your muse have a way with words?

Yes. Very succinct. To the point. Knows what the hell he’s saying. Fine with words, thanks.

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Someone who doesn’t get on his last damn nerve. Hoosier would do well with a partner who goes with the flow  ---  probably someone more extroverted than him, but who really doesn’t demand much or tax his energy when he needs to just destress. He’d do best with someone low-maintenance. (Too bad the high-maintenance people are so damn attractive.) They have to love animals; they have to be able to keep things neat, because he hates a messy house; he’s fine with almost any quirk they might have, so long as they put up with his in return. He loves people who can sing...  and people who laugh at their own jokes really shouldn’t be as attractive as they are.

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

He’d ask as soon as he comes to terms with the idea...  which’ll take a while, not gonna lie. His partner asking first would completely take Hoosier by surprise. He wouldn’t be expecting it, wouldn’t know what to do with it, and his off-the-cuff answer would be, “what the fuck”.  Promising omen of marital bliss right there.

R   :   ROMANCE.   is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

Definitely on the cynical side. He’s...  afraid of romance, a little bit, and definitely doesn’t imagine himself as anybody’s Prince Charming.

S   :   SWEETHEART.   did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

He didn’t, really. Little Bill Smith had way more important things on his mind, like taking long naps, stealing cookies, and hiding in places where his mama couldn’t find him. Bigger priorities on his mind.

T   :   TRUE LOVE.   does your muse believe in true love?

...  nah, probably not. It’s not something he gives a lot of thought to, because thinking about love in general leaves him feeling half-starved and irritated. True love...  well, to be honest, he’s got no clue what it is.

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

...  let’s say he hasn’t and call it even. He’s not gonna talk about it.  (He hasn’t, but he’s been on the cusp of loving people who didn’t love him back. Caution is learned; if you go to the edge of a cliff and almost fall off, you’re in no hurry to dance on that edge again. He learned to fear love without ever feeling the full sting of rejection, cause he’s just proactive like that.)

V   :   VALENTINE.   how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

A complete waste of time, unless there’s chocolate involved. Chocolate for him. Get him chocolate, please.

W  :   WEDDING.   would your muse get married? why / why not?

Mmm. I mean. He’s not going to not get married, if the opportunity arises, but it’s also, like...  a lot of effort, everybody makes a big deal out of it, it costs a lot of money, and, like...  if all his siblings get hitched, does his Mama really need him to, too? (If Hoosier gets to the point where he’s head-over-heels in love with someone, enough to want to spend his life with ‘em, yeah, he’ll get married. But he’s prefer a quiet ceremony, no muss or fuss, to a big white wedding.)

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

Absolutely never... unless he’s in the mood. An arm tucked around his partner’s chest or waist, and a muttered “darlin’” against the side of their neck, is Hoosier-speak for ‘let’s get someplace private now, before I take my pants off right here.’

Y   :   YOURS.   does your muse get protective easily?

In, like, the laziest way possible. He’s perfectly willing to sit back and watch the fireworks, glowering as some fool gets bolder and bolder with the person he cares about...  but he’s not apathetic, he’s waiting. As soon as the bastard crosses a line, Hoosier’s on his feet and swinging. He doesn’t say anything; he just puts an end to the situation, with a few well-placed hits. Cross Hoosier Smith’s people at your own risk.

Z   :   ZZZ.   how many people has your muse slept with?

...  do you really want to know the answer to this question? It’s...  a lot. Many people. An amount that should maybe concern him. He couldn’t count if he tried, but the number is probably in the double digits. (How? He literally never goes out! Hoosier’s got ways, okay. When he feels like having sex, he will find someone willing and eager. It’s never a challenge to convince them. The job gets done.) Don’t ask, cause he’ll just smirk and say nothing.