#there's literally no reason whatsoever to do this but bruh

[kiwiwinjindouche]

Who wants some more out of bounds Clockwork Mansion?

First step: from the entrance, go right and walk (blink) in the air

Second step: you managed to go to the rooftop from the outside, congrats!

Third step: get concerned and hope Jindosh is alright cuz his mansion is in ruins

(you're definitely not supposed to be here so i know it's a way to save time and ressources don't come at me)

Finally, discover the hidden word and enjoy:

[majimasleftasscheek]

Sad day being a majima Stan 😭😭😭😭 how the fuck does Yokoyama miss the mark on majima so bad it's insane 😤😡🤯 anyway glad we got you to keep the love alive 🤗 have an egg during these trying times 🥚

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED skdljagjklsdgSKLJDG

also thankies for the egg 🥺

hi this is Captain CapsLock and I will be in charge of your flight this evening

doesn't understand why the fandom loves a "scary character" THAT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM HE'S A LIL WEIRDO. also he's like not scary whatsoever. like sure theoretically because he's literal yakuza but even in the context of the games? no way he's a total goober are you kidding me

Majima would have nothing to do in the games WHAT DO YOU MEAN JUST REPLACE A CHARACTER WITH MAJIMA INSTEAD YALL KEEP MAKING NEW ONES I DON'T CARE ABOUT YES YAKUZA 6 I'M LOOKING AT YOU AND ANYWAY KIRYU'S UP TO SOME BULLSHIT FOR NO REASON AGAIN GET MAJIMA IN THERE CUZ FUCK IT. ngl it always peeved me off that Kiryu and Saejima were the "pillars of the Tojo Clan" then like wtf was Majima the entire time if not babysitting the whole ass organization. yeah I'm showing favoritism but c'mon jklsdkldkl

no idea what kind of story to tell if Majima has his own game WHAT ABOUT HIS ENTIRE VAGUE ASS LIFE. BROJIMA STORY? IN BETWEEN GAMES STORY? YALL DOING KIRYU'S GAIDEN THING BETWEEN 6/LAD SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM

surprised Majima is popular THEN WHY DOES HE LITERALLY HAVE AS MUCH MERCH IF NOT MORE THAN KIRYU AND WINS POPULARITY POLLS. FOR A SIDE CHARACTER NO ONE CARES ABOUT HE SURE IS LOVED THAT'S CRAZY. FOR A NOBODY TYPE OF CHARACTER HE SURE IS THE FACE OF THE SERIES VERY OFTEN HUH WEIRD

bruh I knew that stream was gonna piss me off and I was right lmaooo. I already got trauma from being a halo and warhammer fan bro I cannot with this kldskllkd. and here's the thing, I don't want Ichiban's story to be overshadowed by Kiryu's (and by proxy Majima) but also they keep shoehorning them into things while being like okay lol this is the end of it we prommy 🤞

like whoopdidoo what a "send off" for the umpteenth time. I think what hurts most is you can really see how much Ugaki loves voicing Majima and the fact that RGG really wants to leave Majima to the wayside while still putting Kiryu front and center for who knows what reason this time is just hhhhhhhhhh. now of course, this doesn't mean Majima is like, potentially out of the party system all together but if he is? lol okay very cool

I'mma keep making stuff I love cuz bruh I sure as shit ain't getting it from RGG. and like, I'm not naïve. I understand all things come to an end at some point but man I just wish it was satisfactory. maybe it was for other people but not for me. but I also realize I speak from a point of extreme bias. I certainly feel miffed about this more than most but at the end of the day I'm just a silly lil fan shouting at clouds lol so take anything I say with grain of salt

[anonymous-astronaut]

The mercs on a nudist beach?

LMAO oh this one is hilarious I’ll see what I can do.

Scout

Bruh he is beyond embarrassed at seeing people naked. Probably thought there were gonna be a bunch of hot chicks, and he’s mortified by all the regular ass middle-aged folks just hanging out (both figuratively and literally). Can’t carry a normal conversation if any dudes in the nude try to talk to him. Does his best to see as little of his teammates as humanly possible, and stands near the water so he can look at that view instead. Pretends he’s suddenly really interested in shells or something. Keeps his swim trunks securely on his body the whole time.

Soldier

Clothes gone. Simply vanished. In fact he probably destroyed them in his dedication to being naked. He feels free as fuck and has a grand old time, actually letting himself relax and have some fun. Builds a sandcastle of the White House and eats a sandwich (which he thinks is required because it has the word sand in it) before trying to catch fish with his bare hands (and bare everything else). He thinks everyone should be participating, and will lecture anyone who IS wearing clothes about how important “freedom” is in every sense of the word.

Pyro

To them it’s just like any other beach day. They personally keep covered head to toe, but they don’t care at all about other people being naked, they barely even seem to notice. They have fun playing usual beach games and splashing around in the water, and will be absolutely ecstatic if they are allowed to build a bonfire or access a fire pit.

Demo

He has no problem taking it all off, but secretly he is a little self conscious about his own body. As long as he’s not the only one in the nude, he quickly forgets any reservations and just focuses on having a good time. Probably helps Soldier with whatever crazy thing he’s doing. Doesn’t give a single fuck about other people being naked, but he will reassure anyone who seems nervous. Wants everyone to be comfortable, and will try to keep Soldier from yelling at anyone who does want to keep their clothes on

Heavy

Would have no shame whatsoever in being naked, he just has no interest in doing so in public. He’s too reserved. Doesn’t really understand why anyone feels the need to do so, but doesn’t care enough to ask .Perfectly content to sit on the beach with a good book or a nice conversation with Medic and let the others frolic around.

Engie

He’s way too shy to do more then unbutton his shirt a little extra. His southern modesty honestly makes him feel a little embarrassed around those who are naked. He’s real awkward about it, but eventually lets himself lie back with a beer and relax. He finds the best method is to try not to think about it and avert his eyes so no unfortunate images get seared permanently into his brain.

Medic

He’s a doctor for gods sake, he’s seen more naked bodies than he can count. You literally couldn’t pay him to care. He sees no particular reason to be naked himself, maybe if he planned on going in the water he’d give it a try, but really it just makes no difference to him. He mostly stays on the beach with Heavy, enjoying the fresh air and ocean scenery. Definitely the one mischievously feeding the seagulls

Sniper

The only thing he doesn’t take off is his hat. This is not an area in which Sniper has any shame or lack of confidence, he has no problem going au-natural. Seeing the others doesn’t bother him the slightest bit either. He just takes the opportunity to get a nap in the sun like a damn lizard with only his face covered by his slouch hat.

Spy

Won’t so much as take his jacket off. Maybe, maybe, with a lot of convincing, he’ll loosen his tie. He hates the beach, hates sand, hates seawater. There is nothing interesting enough for him to do, so he just kinda sits there grumpily. Naked people don’t bother him exactly, but he would certainly rather not see his coworkers without clothing. That said, he’s more upset about the sand in his shoes to be honest.

[lnkedmyheart]

Calling the whole "Chuuya was never a vampire" thing skk fanservice is crazy to me cause like bitch, who do you think would have been going rabid about Chuuya actually being a vampire and Dazai having to break him out of vampirism? If Chuuya actually did kill Dazai and then bit him homoerotically or if Chuuya actually came back to his senses at Dazai's words?

The only reason you are this angered and this obsessed with calling a very normal non shippy skk plan fanservice is because it turns out skk shippers and normal sane people were right when they theorized that a) the intruder was Chuuya, b) Chuuya was too op to be a vampire, c) Chuuya was NOT a vampire in the drowning scene, d) Chuuya, being a gravity manipulator could save Dazai from a falling elevator, e) Chuuya having left the control room while Fyodor was gloating with Sigma was sus, f) Chuuya could control bullets and stop it from hitting Dazai and the two of them were faking it.

"It's too predictable". Some things are just basic fucking logic bruh.

Like I'm sorry bro. This isn't even all that shippy and in no way does it undermine their bond. If any of those ultra dramatic Chuuya was actually a vampire theories had been canon ya'll would still have angrily called it skk fanservice. Because I swear every single step of the way ya'll were legitimately attacking and mocking the intelligence of the shippers and Chuuya stans for their theories, insisting they kept making everything about their ship when it was literally an arc focussing on their bond as partners. Everyone wanted someone completely random to save Dazai because Lord forbid Chuuya do anything in the main manga because how dare Chuuya fans get any canon content whatsoever.

[murphallo]

Your thoughts on Chenford and their relationship moving forward?

Thoughts on 5.13?

i’m having a bad time lol

i’ve been ranting and raving about this in detail for the better part of two months so i’ll try to keep this to bulletpoints. i think the way they got together was rushed (yes, rushed), poorly written, and i think they cut the burn off before the part a LOT of people waited so long for (angst, pining, arc, plot whatsoever) i think it was a bonkers decision to get such a well set up ship together in the midseason bc they were just like “eh fuck it here is good” and i have no beef with people who are satisfied with how it went down but i think when people who are disappointed express their gripes on their own damn account, people tend to purposely misunderstand. examples include “how can chenford be rushed if they took 4.5 seasons to get together?” to which i’d answer a. we are not saying chenford is rushed we’re saying the way they got together was rushed. b. it’s funny to me how people think that investing years of time and effort and heart to a ship should make us LESS invested in how they get together. c. bruh i’m asking myself the same question it’s actually kinda impressive that they managed to rush a ship after that long.

as for the story going forward, i’ve kinda lost hope in 5b at least. it’s beautiful to see them so enamored with each other and i will watch the scenes and smile at them bc they are adorable in a vacuum but as for the big picture, i find the writing overall to be quite dumb lately. i find it dumb that their biggest boundary to being together was work and they solved that in one episode in the most boring way they could muster. i find it dumb that it seems like we did not get to see the team find out they’re together. i find it dumb that we were given no reason for them “taking it slow” and then giving in after a couple weeks even though that pre sex makeout was hot as hell ngl (see what i mean?? in a vacuum!!) i find many many things dumb and weird and even though the scenes give me buzz, chenford used to have chem and story for me and tho the chem remains higher than it’s ever been, the story has, in my opinion, been shot in the face.

last week with the work thing was kinda my last straw so i am taking a break from the rookie and watching the chenford scenes on twitter bc i was getting way way too hateful watching week to week. i’d rather be a positive presence in a fandom im in so i don’t go out of my way to stare my displeasure publicly, i only do to reach out to other people who feel the way i do and want to vent bc nothing starts internet friendships like a good bitching session. i do feel like because the relationship is hitting the gas like this, we might??? be on our way to the other shoe dropping and me personally………. my prayer is a breakup lol i’m hoping they break up and then we’re actually given some proper angst and pining (even though i think we should’ve gotten that BEFORE they went canon but what do i know) now… i don’t know what they would break up over with the work issue out of the way and it would probably be something, say it with me, DUMB, but i would be willing to consider tuning in again if my trust miraculously grew back lol so YEAH those are my thoughts.

if you’re happy with how they got together, i truly honestly do not care and i’m happy you’re satisfied lol at a certain point it all comes down to personal preference, and for me personally, it feels like they went out of their way to miss every box on my checklist which is a bummer bc i used to love literally every scene interaction and bit of writing between them and now… not so much. i still love them, and i love the first four seasons, i just think the writing took a huge ass stumble at the literal worst time possible. but it would take a stronger person than i to turn my nose up at gifs of the 5x12 makeout so if absolutely nothing else, at least i’ll always have that 🤡🤡

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 26 - Part 2

Don't skip the matinée just so you can get to the main course!

🥺️Pwetty pwease with a 🍒 on towp?

EVERYBODY GET HYPED!! 😤

Wait, but we can't all go, right? Who will keep watch over the Guild?

Ah, okay. Just don't expect me to carry your head on a platter after Totodile and/or Tropius f*cks you up 🤷‍♀️

But before we head off for adventure, a juicy tidbit reveals the real members of Team Raiders to us!

Bruh, are you for real 😂

I can't exactly tell who is who until they show up in post (post), so look forward to that later! In the meantime...

Aegis Cave Luxurious Manor, here we come.

...Gee Pineco, ya don't say.

Nah, it just exists to troll everyone into thinking you can go farther when it's actually an impossible puzzle. OF COURSE THERE'S A TRICK TO IT, GOD-

Team Charm and the guildmembers scamper off. But let's check out those odd grooves Beedrill mentioned first.

Teresa: "Oh, okay. I know exactly what to do now." *hovers into the dungeon without any hesitation whatsoever.*

Andrea et al.:

Oh and, incidentally, this area is called The Gigantic... Uhhh, The Gigantic... *squints at the word before googling it*

...This ain't even a place, it's an idea. Wtf.

ANYWAYYY, here's an updated look at the Team! Garchomp, my beloved. Also #girl power.

So this probably goes without saying, but the dungeons and Pokémon* aren't randomized here. Otherwise it would be literally impossible to advance. Finding a random blue gummi who knows where is one thing (and that's already hellish enough). Finding a multitude of Unown Stones? Forget it.

Oooooo lookie lookie, one of the letters we need right off the bat!

*That being said! The moves and abilities of the Unown are totally random, so we still have at least a twist of fun. More on that later.

*Count from Sesame Street Voice* TWOOOOO LETTER I'S, AHAHAHA-

Also this dungeon was completely silent the first time through, but none of the subsequent times for some reason? Wack.

OH, AND BECAUSE ITEMS WEREN'T RANDOMIZED?? TREASURE HUNT GALORE FOR THOSE SO RARELY SEEN COMMON ITEMS LIKE ORAN BERRIES 😭

. Indulge me for a moment here, because I have a relatively new-ish blorbo, but this is the very first thing I thought of:

Sounds like a skill issue, idk.

Alright, you go do that. We'll be right behind you, but first, a message from our sponsors.

[dmclemblems]

also to sum up earlier, I do still love Claude - I just don’t agree with the direction the writers took him in for Hopes because it feels too strongly like a 180 to the Claude I know in Houses. it doesn’t mean I think 100 percent of the writing itself is bad (it’s not, though some of it really is questionable). while I’d like to see a darker side of him, I don’t mean like... a whole lotta killing, or unnecessary killing to boot.

the problems he’s dealing with regarding Faerghus could’ve been solved very very easily though with a simple “hey can we meet up somewhere safe” letter to Dimitri so they could talk through it, seeing as Claude literally stampedes through Faerghus, weapons in hand, to reach Dimitri, to... ...talk??? I mean BRUH lmao WHAT.

like yeah I like to make my dmcl jokes about it because he acts obsessed with Dimitri sometimes but also bruh, just send a letter instead of charging through his country and killing his soldiers first. might have had a better result rather than Dimitri not wanting anything to do with you now that you’ve been murdering his people just to talk to him about the Church and your plans.

he says he doesn’t wanna take Faerghus down, but he still attacks instead of just... trying diplomacy. he admits he doesn’t know what’s going on in Dimitri’s head, so like... why... not just... make the attempt with a letter and see what happens??? my guy???

and also deciding to declare war on all of Fodlan despite NOT having talked to Dimitri yet (who was literally waiting for him to talk to him originally after the first attack on Faerghus. Claude had to turn back and leave bc of TWS but ffs Dimitri was still ready to talk to him even after ALL THAT) was a really dumb thing to do.

when it comes to the side of him that’s less trusting and more combative, I get that in the writing’s sense. I just don’t like what he’s doing, and he’s still guilty of aggression. no amount of “it’s for a better cause” is a good excuse to me, but less so when it’s just not part of who he is. I’ve seen the argument that Claude just came to the decision that he had to use the war and kill some people and yadda yadda, but it still doesn’t excuse anything regarding Faerghus. he could have come to that conclusion with Randolph’s army (as the Empire was the aggressor against Leicester to begin with), but there was no good reasoning whatsoever with Faerghus if Claude was still written with his core beliefs and values in mind. he could have sent a letter and asked to meet with Dimitri because if he never wanted to take any lives and only did it out of necessity, there was absolutely zero reason to attack Faerghus in the first place.

and I shit you not, it got to the point where in SB’s secret interlude chapter (the Arval chapter), Dimitri said he would stop running from Claude if Claude would just leave him be. CLAUDE THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO BE LIKE YOU GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS SITUATION LIKE??? I’M HOWLIN MY DUDES IM HOWLIN i ain’t never wanted to punch this beautiful man’s beautiful face so much in my life

jimmy von riegan please return claude von riegan to us

[crystallizsch]

Hello! ♡

I hope you're doing well!

For the character ask game, I would love to know your thoughts on number 12 and number 25 with Jamil please!

Thank you! ♡

AAH hello again!! thank you so much for being the first ask, i hope you're doing well too!! 🥺💖

hndfsjkllkds and of course of course, these are good questions aaah

━━━━━━✦ 12. What's a headcanon you have for [Jamil]?

Sooo despite my apparent oc x canon stuff, my headcanon about Jamil is that relationships (partners specifically) will be the last thing on his mind. His focus will be on himself which, like, good for him! he deserves to finally do what he wants without restraint.

I remembered his wish from the wishing star event that he wanted to travel alone where nobody knew him and i was like yeah you go king, just relax by yourself. Relationships are overrated (jk jk).

In the story he's pretty good at acting and hiding his true emotions so i imagine when he does get feelings but refuses to act on it, no one would realize. Unless someone really knows how to read people (like Leona for example when he sussed out his intentions with Kalim in one of the vignettes).

━━━━━━✦ 25. What was your first impression of [Jamil]? How about now?

Okay so, the progression of what i thought about jamil is so funny to me. I'm never gonna be over it.

When i first played the game i DID NOT care about him whatsoever (mostly because i hadn't gone through book 4 yet). Nothing about him particularly stood out to me ;;; (The others have overshadowed him 😔)

I started playing twst when the EN server released (i was a leona simp🧍but i broke up with him and moved on to riddle). Honestly i only played because of the hype around the idea of disney characters being turned into anime boys, so i lost interest after a few weeks.

I only came back last year when a friend showed me that there's actually interesting story aspects in the game so i gave it a chance again. I barely even remember the game when i came back and for some reason i had Jamil's dorm SSR along with my main SSRs at the time (Riddle, Leona).

I was like "bruh who dis" and promptly ignored him. Even when i got to finishing book 4 i was like "alrighty that's another traumatized teenage boy down" and forgot about him again ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ (it also didn't help that i wasn't big of a fan of his overblot design)

This might have been the turning point but the scalding sands event was one of the first events that played when i came back to twst. Najma specifically had a HUGE impression on me because i thought "omg female sprite, Jamil's sister????" I was surprised the characters were like "they don't look alike" when they clearly do??? Anyways they are the siblings ever and i just fell in love with them.

After that I was still pretty neutral about jamil. During the event I was just casually pulling for cards without expecting anything (just the SRs). And guess who showed up. Jamil's event SSR.

it's so funny to me because i was still like "oh cool another SSR" AND THAT WAS IT. Literally only used the card because it was useful because i didn't have any good water-based cards (jamil my beloved im so sorry).

I know this is a bit anticlimactic but i'm not really sure the exact moment when jamil finally got the chokehold on me afterward🧍

So, to answer that question, my impression of him now is completely normal and unbiased (i am obsessed with him).

link back to ask game!

[twinstarlovers]

Hm… I should be gone for a few days or maybe not at all. I’m going through a depressive episode ✌🏼. Either the sleeping thing caused it or it was the start of it. This depressive episode ain’t it fr. Got me triggered for nun like I’m mad I’m a girl like I was crying cus I hate being a woman w all my heart even tho that’s my ego speaking but still. I’m hopeless af too. I haven’t thought about a lot of the things I’ve been thinking about in a minute. I feel lonely af. I have no soulmates & I get lonely when I have no soulmates. I have ‘friends’ or people I talk to but they aren’t soulmates so I feel really distant from them like there’s no connection whatsoever. I hate that when I do drugs, the universe makes it into some lesson or idk like I was drunk a couple of days ago & I was looking at women & sexualizing them cus you do that & made me hate being a woman even more. Must be nice to be you lol. There’s no reason I can’t enjoy being high or drunk. Really ain’t no reason I can’t have a life or friends lol. The universe be crazy. You know what’s annoying… the moon is in Pisces so that’s just amazing. You know it be interesting tho how I be swearing this depressive episode gonna last when it really doesn’t but still. I feel hopeless af like I don’t have hope on going to the concerts I wanna go to like m83 & Maná & shit like I wanna throw all of that away. I actually wonder what triggered this. I think waking up disoriented af is part of it but idk. I’ve been isolating lately tho lowkey. I forgot why. Oh right, it’s cus my friend got mad at me like she got triggered. Let me tell you the story. So I was drunk & I called her & I speak out my ass when I’m drunk & she has a twin & they ain’t talking rn & I was like I like him & shit like that but not LIKE HIM like I like him for her like as a guy like I miss him/them & I guess she has trauma w sneaky weird friends so me saying I like him & shit triggered her thinking I was tryna be w him or sum. I never had issues w my friends being like that + I feel like we are good friends to know that I would not mean it like that. So anyways yeah she got mad. I remember I was drunk & she said “okay Cassie” LMFAO but nah lol. I was hurt cus she thought I would really do her like that. So that day I put my phone on dnd & haven’t took it off since. I got over it but if my phone is on dnd, it’s sum else that’s making me idk. I think that was the trigger tho. I don’t like my friends thinking im capable of shit or suspicious of me because then that breaks trust cus now I can’t trust to be authentic w you if you don’t even trust me to be. I hate friendships, like actually. Friendships that aren’t soulmate connections literally be beating my ass on the low cus it’s like settling for less & I hate settling for less because I truly don’t give af but the universe be like settle for less like what. I’d have to settle for less or else I’d have no friends. I can’t laugh or find joy in friendships that aren’t soulmates. I literally can’t. I feel like I can’t be present. I can’t listen to what you are venting to me about because we don’t connect like that but I gotta pretend to listen ofc. I’d like to be alone w money & I think I’d be fine. It’s giving earth moon LMFAO. But hmmmm don’t mind me talking. I have no spam remember. I hope I get it back. I think it will take a month idk. Anyways yeah I’m in a depressive episode. I’m gonna say fuck the concert tickets for good for rn. I’m more hopeless about going because they gonna sell out soon if they aren’t already & I know if I eventually feel hopeful again, they gonna be sold out so. & no I don’t think I’m gonna start smoking again actually. But hmmm I think I turn very affectionate w women when I’m drunk cus I lack that shit & lack fulfilling friendships. But anyways I’m actually so embarrassing when I’m not sober like if I get high w someone, they always more put together then me like I can’t walk or talk like no bruh that’s embarrassing. Also when I’m drunk, IM ALWAYS THE DRUNKEST. It’s so fucking embarrassing

[001-lvr]

Spending free time in the lab with Peter, snuggling with him (he being the little spoon)

A/N: OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MICH FOR REQUESTING thank fuck bruh I needed something to write god bless America 🏳️‍🌈 Also, I kind of twisted the plot? like kind of comforting him after he’s been electrocuted. I still included the little spoon snuggling though so dw!!

Comfort

It was a few hours after Peter had been ‘punished’ (literally tortured half to death). And all duties were over for the day, meaning you and Peter could spend time with each other. You were sitting in your room, doing some hobby of yours (whether that was reading, drawing, painting etc.) You were waiting for Peter, you had just assumed that he had some things to clear up, but you were wrong. He limped in the room with a small smile painted on his surprisingly sad looking face.

“hello.” He said, coming to sit next to you. His voice was so quiet, you could barely hear it. Your brows furrowed, he was normally really happy to see you. Why was he so sad? You stopped whatever you were doing and lay him down on the bed, and getting behind him. You wrapped your arms around him so he was the little spoon. You just stayed like that for a while, until you started to feel droplets falling on your arm. That’s when you knew something was very wrong. “Peter? Peter what happened? Please talk to me.” You didn’t want to pressure him, but you had never seen him so upset.

“You remember Eleven, right? Well, I’ve been, trying to help her? I know it sounds like a foolish thing to do considering the rules of a guard but she reminds me of someone, someone that I knew so well. Someone that was treated so badly for no reason whatsoever. And I couldn’t watch someone else go through it. No one believes in her, y/n. They laugh at her, call her names, push her around. And that’s what he wants. He knows how strong she really is, and it scares him. But, he’s been catching on. And he really, really doesn’t like that. I said ‘good luck’ to her and almost got my brain burnt to a crisp. I don’t know what to do anymore, y/n.” And with that, he started to cry. Really cry. And it shattered your heart, you had always known your boyfriend to be calm and collected. You had never seen him break down like this before.

But still, you did what needed to be done. And you gave him the love and comfort he deserves. “Peter, I want you to listen to me. You have done nothing wrong. Nothing at all. And you deserve so much better than this, Pete. So, so much better. I love how caring you are, it’s one of my favourite things about you. You don’t need to do anything, there’s nothing that needs to be done. You’re the best guard in this facility. You’re someone the children can feel comfortable around. You’re doing your job perfectly, and I’m so proud of you. I love you so much, Peter. Always.” You kissed his forehead, and you could feel his smile on your arm.

“Thank you y/n, thank you. I love you more than you will ever know.” He kissed your arm, and you continued to cuddle the rest of the evening away. Just the two of you.

[1111jenx]

spicy astro placements &

their culture 🪁💙🪁

(part I)

Hey loveee welcome to the second series following up my first astro culture series!! keep coming back to my pinned masterlist for the next parts🥳

If you missed by first astro culture series, check out my masterlist <3

🪁 leo moon culture is getting upset randomly and post on your instagram story something along the line of "Guys am I a good friend? Just wondering if y'all still wanna be my friends cause like sometimes I don't really know.." as you ignore 99+ group messages k😀

🪁 cancer rising culture is wondering wtf do people like you so much for absolutely no reason its like they just start circling you and start pouring their heart our tf💀 idc what y'all say cancer risings have hella vibes when they're happy

🪁pisces moon culture is using sense of humour to cope like y'all don't process emotions normally someone would literally amost die and you guys go "isn't it kinda funny, no lowkey?"💀💀💀

🪁 aquarius moon culture is being the absolute best at gift-gifting like watch y'all pull up with an heirloom and say smth like "what do you mean how do i know you wanted this? you told me like 9 years ago in a bar underground at 4:55 that you wanted this so i just did my best to find it anyways happy birthday where are the drinks" 💀💀

🪁 sagittarius mercury culture is thinking "fuck dawg i overshared again are they gonna use it against me yes or no fml "

🪁 moon-venus culture is planning a wholeass trip to mexico just so you end up falling asleep for 3 days straight rip

🪁libra moon culture is falling in love with leo moon.

🪁sagittarius rising culture is laughing out loud when you think of something so funny but you know you can't say it out loud cause its hella inappropriate so you start pinching yourself you can shut up😁

🪁 sagittarius placements culture is going in and out of consciousness every time they drink. bruh they're the type to be passing out on the couch for 5 minutes then wake up and act like nothing happen whatsoever light-weight who?💞

🪁 virgo moon culture is disappearing every 3-5 business days and your friends would have to call you to make sure you're still alive

🪁taurus moon culture is never having bad beef with someone upfront. if you cross them, they'll stay away from you and become acquaintances with you love, good vibes only💅🏼

🪁sagittarius moon culture is casual confrontation. would ask you to go out and get juices with them and while y'all are at it they'll be like 😀this drink is so good oh btw did you sleep with my ex the other night?😄

🪁 Mars & Sun dominant culture is your friend telling you to "behave" whenever you see a bitch that has bad blood with your bestie.

🪁 Pluto dominant culture is giving someones that nastiest most degrading look without saying a word after they lose it on you for no reason and then you walk away✨

🪁virgo rising culture is SEVERE ANGER ISSUE. they always suppress it so deep but when its bad its baaaad.

🪁moon in 2H culture is setting a timer at 2 am so you can wake up and kick your one night stand out of your place🤠

🪁taurus mars culture is constantly fighting between whether or not you want to be a hot girl summer and hoe around or celibacy. like its so bad but it feels so good energy amiright

🪁3H stellium culture is getting mad when your original ideas get stolen like thats my intellectual properties bitch

🪁venus-chiron aspects culture is falling for the most difficult people on earth like they would literally always get hurt so so bad in relationships like wtf

🪁saturn in the 10H culture is lowkey being hella nostalgic like they love seeing babies pictures of themselves so much like oh i was innocent once too😌

🪁venus in the 10H culture is getting turned off by the smallest stuff like uh why are you walking weird or why does you keep staring at me weird can you not 😐

🪁cancer rising culture is mastering the art of eye contact;)

🪁 mars in 5H culture is saying something EXTREMELY sexual to get a reaction out of people why are yall like this💀

🪁lilith in 3h culture is not being able to shut up. your stories go on and on and people get lowkey so hooked on it🤣

🪁libra mars culture is throwing rose petals around your place for a d appointment.

🪁libra mars culture is also ✨intense moodswings✨ omg cancer mars can't even compare

🪁libra stellium culture is backing down for mutual peace but if you keep their buttons watch them start throwing shits around bruh its always the one you didn't expect💀💀

🪁moon in 6H culture is having the worst sleep schedule on earth and if they push themselves hard enough they cant still be hella high functional.

🪁jupiter in the 1H culture is being blessed with such gorgeous eyes omg y'all look so mesmerizing stop it

🪁saturn in the 7H culture is being so experimental lowkey??? are open to so many options cause their ability to detach is scary. the type to pick their shits up and dip and tell their hookup that you can walk yourself out don't worry💀

🪁venus in 2H culture is having GENEROUS people coming up to you offering to pay all the time like ??duh yall are the ultimate sugar babies

🪁fixed moon culture is being very forgiving. but they know it will never be the same and the room they once let you in will never be opened for you again.

🪁pisces rising culture is looking like they're always gonna cry or high its never in between

🪁taurus rising culture is people telling you randomly you take really nice picture and you're so aesthetically pleasing

🪁capricorn rising culture is smiling on the outside while you're having a breakdown inside like hold it together rachael you got this not in public energy

🪁sagittarius sun culture is everyone liking you. especially if you have water moon people just tell you everything like you can be doing drugs and people would tell you randomly that they think they're bipolar. sag sun bring people out of their shells fr.

🪁leo rising culture is having a serious conversation and you start to get distracted by your own reflection in the nearby mirror.

🪁 air mercury culture is looking like they can yell😀

🪁 libra rising culture is telling your friend something like "bro if i ever try to beat someone up because they flirt with my man make sure i win if it looks like im losing start to pull me back and say smth like no its not worth it okay i cant lose a fight💀💀"

🪁 gemini rising culture is listening to sad music and cry randomly omfg

🪁scorpio venus culture is getting turned on when someone raises their voice at you like...are you guys okay😄

🪁air moon culture is being lowkey hella possessive lol whoever said they don't have feels is painfully wrong

🪁 leo placements culture is complimenting themselves infront of a mirror and stare at your friends until they agree😄

🪁aquarius placements culture is having secret crushes but they think they're so upfront about it

🪁aries mars culture is wondering if you should get diagnosed for ADHD😀 like please seek help y'all im concern

🪁10H lilith culture is lowkey hating the fact that people think you're a player like bro. my bad let me just celibate then

🪁leo venus culture is having a full on RAGE and shut up immediately when your friends tell you to calm down because you're beautiful. we do be shallow✨

🪁mars-jupiter culture is contemplating on their sense of humour every 2 days like right time right place guys you can't make a joke like that in public ok🤠

🪁 libra placements culture is buying rose quartz because its "pretty" and give you "hella vibes"

🪁 mercury 7H is thinking you're really straightforward but you're not. like yes but also no. amazing at connecting tho

🪁 capricorn venus culture is never getting into a relationship with someone who can't give you security and long term plans like you're 36 matthew, pack it up.

🪁 venus dominant culture is always cutting off people because your so called "friends" keep getting jealous of you like ummm💀

🪁 cancer/pisces placements culture is telling people " no i understand how you feel" and genuinely mean it cause yall have the ability to rly put yourself in others shoes 👠

🪁 leo moon culture is falling in love with seemingly cold and detached people. yup they will EARN that attention they need.

🪁 sagittarius mercury and gemini mercury culture is continuing to yell even louder when someone starts to cry in the middle of confrontation like excuse weren't i the victim😀

🪁 8H/1H placements culture is working out 24/7 but telling your friends you have no energy

🪁 fire rising culture is ordering roses for your friend and send a card with "thinking abt you baddie:)" on her birthday party so her crazyass ex can see it and get jealous muahahaha

🪁 libra rising/venus in 1h culture is telling the group chat not to be mean to your man cause they're meeting for the first time but you know thats gonna take a lot of efforts cause after everything they heard, your psychopaths friends are not gonna be chillin💀

🪁 libra rising culture is hating violence and cruelty but thinks that their soulmate is that one stoner who has a severe mommy issues and dealt drug on the side😄

🪁 cancer mars culture is oversharing or staying quiet no in between never catch them slacking

🪁 taurus placements culture is loving people who are passionate and are dared to have dreams. they're so realistic sometimes its hard for them to dream big:(

🪁 fire rising culture worst fear is waking up one day and you no longer have any passion for anything.

🪁 air rising culture is making heads turn every time you enter a room like your style is so on point

🪁 virgo placements culture is being suspicious of everyone and everything but are blind when it comes to scorpio/cancer placement prove me wrong😎

omg this one was soooooo long istg but i promise to make the next one longer🥳 AS USUAL GIMME A OWA OWA IF U GUYS MAKE THIS FAR PLS TELL ME HOW I RESONATE LUVVV<3

ove,

saint jenx🪐

[arrogantsonofabiscuit]

Arguing with their s/o and how do they sleep after the argument

A/n:- help me with the fic names someone 😓🥲.

Genre :- angst—> fluff, mentions of pet names! 

Feat:- Kuroo , Sakusa , Oikawa, Kita

Sakusa Kiyoomi:-

So basically you and him had gone on a date in a very neat and clean café according to you since you knew Kiyoomi’s germaphobe nature. And what was the best part was the fact that the café was in a secluded corner of the city so you thought why not right? Nothing could go wrong  ……..right?

Nuhuh honey. This is how the date went down in your diary!

So the weather seemed very pleasant it seemed like the clouds did not know rain okay? So why the hell did the clouds understand the concept of rain and now it was cloudy! Like why now? Couldn’t you rain later? But no the luck is rarely with you lol.

So now you sit on the cold chair in the café with soaking wet pants, you were cursing under your breath and could feel the cold air of the aircon hit your back. Great just great!

Sakusa approaches the quite corner of the café and watches your wet and dirtied form shivering under the cold weather.

He looked agitated and looked away and asked you to take a bath as soon as you guys leave the café.

As soon as you enter the doorway of your apartment still soaking wet and feeling very cold , you hear Sakusa mumble something . “Why did you forget your umbrella?”

“I did not know that it would rain, even the weather report did not mention about it whatsoever!”

He looks at you with a disgusted face which screamed “You are so dirty , go clean yourself”

You quickly rush to your bathroom and take a quick shower , Sakusa enters the bedroom and watches your dirty clothes lying on the ground which was your first mistake dear grave  mistake.

So now you are here sleeping in your huge bed with backs facing each other. Great y/n just great.

Its 2:11 am at night where you are at one edge of the bed looking at the ceiling and observing the various cracks it has. Am I the only one who does this and literally counts them ?      

He was on the other corner of the bed with his eyes wide open as he couldn’t sleep for a second Bruh if you are suffering just make up already! 

You quietly shift to his side of the bed and wrap your arm around his waist, this caused him to whip his head towards your direction but his gaze seemed soft on your features . The way you pouted and looked at him with* those * puppy dog eyes he melted right there. 

He gently wraps his arm around you and nuzzles his head on your neck . You rest your head on his chest and inhale the smell of fresh laundry and well him! 

You guys forgot about the argument you had about him calling you dirty and disgusting which made you angry at him as well as sad. Here you are in each others embrace and dose off quietly with soft snores filled in the room.      

Oikawa Tooru:- 

Okay so hear me out , this guy is a huge tease that’s the way he is. Yohoo.

Arguments with him generally were either he pouted or whined for your attention.

Then how come now that you guys have fought long ago still not talking to each other?

So the reason why you had the argument was because of the fact that you are short and you couldn’t reach the bookshelf to grab the reference book you  needed for studying.

“Tooru, would you please give me the book on the top shelf?”

“No ✨”this mf straight up said no

And you were like “huh”?

You were already having a rough day and this made you mad.

So  you asked a guy sitting near the window of the library, he simply nodded and handed you the book smiling .

Let me tell you Oiks is  a very territorial guy so he was more than pissed at you .

Now you are here in your shared apartment in the same bedroom on the same bed as him , but not facing each other.

You were pouty and so was he, but somehow you always made him feel the warmth he couldn’t get since he was always so busy with his volleyball , dealing with the fan girls , studying and what not, but at the end of the day you were the source of light to help him keep going.

And now finally he whines which causes you to jolt out of the fluffy bed. “What? Did you have a nightmare?” you ask with a concerned look on your face.

He then pats your shoulder and makes you fall on the bed with him and then he gently wraps his arm around your torso and nuzzles into your neck. You kiss the crown of his head and sleep as he hums on your neck which lulled you to sleep . The argument long forgotten.

Kita Shinsuke:-

This guy right here is the whole damn meal and I meant every single word here .

So argument with this whole damn meal guy is impossible right? Like how humanly possible it could be?

How can you argue with this daddy material I mean guy?

Anyways so the reason was that you are clumsy I mean who isn’t a klutz?

He told you to be careful since you were walking recklessly on the wet road because of the rain which had poured half and hour ago.

You legit slipped on the pavement since the water somehow caused you to lose your balance and you just fell which almost keyword almost exposed your underwear.

You apologised on the way home but he seemed to get angry since you did not listen to him.

You then told him that you don’t constantly liked been told what to do? Are you her dad? Kita-san ore no oto-san desuka?

That made him more angry , angry but with the most robotic face like how is it humanly possible ?

Anyways so here you are on your bed reading some stories whereas he was also on the bed but not facing you whatsoever.

It continued till midnight, and you couldn’t get a blink of sleep.

So you quickly glanced at your bicolored haired boyfriend , who seemed to be stiff on his side of bed.

You placed your head on his firm chest and saw him immediately melting in your soft touches.

A warm smile crept on his face as you mumbled apologies against his chest. He apologised too for being too demanding on you.

The room was filled with small snores and  legs tangled with each other under those fluffy blankets.

Kuroo Tetsurou:-

Sir your hand in marriage please.🤲

Neways we all know the great provocation king himself if a mfing tease just like our ol’ oiks

But do you know your limits?

Sometimes he does sometimes he does not.

So now you are upset with him since he made you feel inferior and dumb . That was not the only problem , he called you dumb right in front of his teammates! Way to go Kuroo!

Maths is always a difficult subject calculating shit or what not . You can clearly see the love I have for this subject lol.

The problem was not that difficult you only had to convert your answer to the required unit, which you couldn’t , so its not wrong asking the Smart guy right? The smart guy who is your boyfriend?! Right?

And now cue the song “hello darkness my old friend…” ahem~

You enter the cafeteria with the math book in your hand searching for your boyfriend, it was not difficult to spot him with his hair in all glory.

You nudge his shirt and he smiles and replies “What’s wrong?” you explain him that you can’t seem to get the right answer and its not making any sense.

He takes your book and reads the question. He simply chuckles and replies ”Obviously you can’t find the right answer because you forgot to convert it ! Kitten .” You write down the converted answer but still it did not seem to be right. “Kuroo, I still can’t get it right. Why is it so difficult?”

Yaku and Kai were worried since they knew you weren’t that great in math but they knew that your beloved is gonna tease you for your silly mistake.

He laughs and tells you” You have to divide it not multiply , dummy!”

You pout and hide your flush face since his few teammates laughed at your silly mistake .

So now here you are in your shared apartment doing your homework religiously and not even sparing a glance at your tall boyfriend.

Kuroo was worried because you weren’t looking at him at all nor were asking him any doubts.

You heard Kuroo  click his tongue in irritation and he then leaves the room. You complete your homework and head to bed.

After midnight where both you couldn’t spear a single nap, turned to face each other and that’s when you saw kuroo looking at you with pleading eyes.

“I will forgive you only if you promise me that you won’t do it again and rather help me with it. Do you promise?”

“Yes kitten I do , also could I get some cuddles ? ” he asks sheepishly .

“You don’t need permission for that, here..”you open your arms and allow him to hug you tightly and nuzzle his head on your chest with legs tangled. (cute)

You aced the test!

Thanks for reading! Reblogs are highly appreciated <33

[writersmorgue]

quick rant about this fic i just read (it's actually an entire fucking essay but that's beside the point)

tw: sexual assault mention

i just spend TWO GODDAMN HOURS. at 11 in the nighttime. reading this stupid fic to help me go to sleep. now unless the author decides to write in first person or the entire thing is too illegible to read after one chapter i usually stick it out even if i'm not a fan and just silently grovel to myself after. but THIS GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING FIC. first four chapters? solid. ffs i COMMENTED and said how realistic and good it was written, but like fifth chapter in it goes back to the beginning and repeats basically all the same shit with the pov of the other love interest. now, this would be cool under multiple circumstances. namely: if it was a separate fic devoted to the other perspective, if it was cLEARLY stated that we changed perspective, if there was any context at all to the switch in perspective, if the change was fucking NECESSARY. but it was none of those things. literally switches for no reason, and then just retells the entire four chapters again- which by the way, we were left on a cliffhanger- with no point whatsoever. Also there were some things in the first four that didn't make sense, namely when they're having sex for the fourth time or whatever and the mc, who is asexual, has a breakthrough (part of the plot) and suddenly in the middle of sex starts loving it and all that, which would not be a problem if he didn't fucking not remember when they finished??? and it's not explained at all???? as an asexual with asexual friends i don't believe we have this super slutty side that is like a werewolf and just pops out without us knowing, it's all pretty conscious- and if it's not then that's a whole other problem. So that was weird, but ignorable, but then the rewrite CONTINUES TO NOT EXPLAIN IT. if anything it made it more weird??? like mc coming down from post nut and is like "why am i crying? wtf happened?" and i'm trying to figure out if this bitch was drugged or smthn,,, and no. it just happens. i do not understand. anyway moving on, congrats if you actually read this far idk if this makes any sense- and the main plot of this fic is about mc's asexuality, and a big issue in the first half is how he has no sex drive and character b does and they wanna compromise, which,,, the issue suddenly goes away in the second part? and now they don't really have an issue??? they're just chilling?? without ever resolving this?? ALSO character 2 SA'd mc???? and then the blame, even on the narrarator's part, is put on mc. for leaving. after he was assaulted. by someone he loved and trusted. also after they talk about it once like "oh THAT"S why you didn't like me forcefully shoving you down and hurting you without consent,, haha i'm so dumb" it is NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN AND SECOND CHARACTER COMPLETELY GETS AWAY WITH IT. NO CONSEQUENCES. A NYWAY. so we're at the end right? and i'm waiting for us to catch up to the line we were left at on chapter 4, which then happens, and the other half of the line is said. makes absolutely no sense. Why is this said? is it a marriage proposal? is it asking to be boyfriends again? why are you saying this??? do you forgive him now?? y'all literally tried to have sex the other day and were cockblocked by side character number 7 and there is no resolution. which BY THE WAY. mc 2 fucking stuck his hands in mc 1's pants with no consent, and mc threatened to safe word. i'm,,,,, that's not ok. y'all don't have an agreement, as far as the reader is aware, that no safeword pre-sex is consent. especially if he threatens it????? PLUS side character 3 SAW the bruises on MC's wrists after the SA and was like "lmao bruh u good" and he's like "oh yeah i'm good" which okay, but then also sees MC 2 have sex with side character 49 and then aggressively rant about how much MC fucked up,,, when he left the bruises,, does this not raise any reed flags??? not really my main problem at all but something that ticked me off. okay sorry, back on topic, so the last line. makes no sense, i've practically forgotten the first part since it was FOUR FUCKING CHAPTERS AGO. and then the fic just ends. that's it. that's all.

no more. I'm------ what the FUCK. It's ONE AFUCKINGM and i'm sitting here writing this because now i can't sleep bc of this bullshit. and of course it's my fault for reading this instead of fucking listening to music or whatever but DAMN. i was so happy too because FINALLY some long fic with good character relations and asexuality but no, i was wrong. fuck.

k nightt

[whewchilli-theghetto]

The most annoying thing is when anti-shippers go on about hating the whole “Taekook vs Jikook” war. Like bruh there is no war, there is no competition. One is based on pure fantasy and the other is what we literally see with our own two eyes with no editing, slow-mo, romantic music or crazy conspiracies needed to make it “real”. It is irritating as hell when JKKers talk about things that ACTUALLY HAPPENED for all to see, like GCFT or Rosebowl and get met with people whining “stop shipping the boysss it makes them uncomfortable”. And the funny thing is you barely see that response when Tkkers start writing their ten page essays about BH hiding Tk based on absolutely no evidence whatsoever. I’ve only been in the fandom since 2020 but I am already sick of the willful ignorance and hypocrisy that is rampant among army, especially where Jimin is concerned. The response to the recent episode of ITS was a perfect example of that hypocrisy. I am Tired. I won’t call myself a solo stan but I have definitely been sticking more to jimin and jikook centered fan spaces and I only watch original content, and try to just focus on the boys and their music because interacting with the fandom on a whole makes me want to pack it in and forget about BTS altogether.

Oh my GOSH this pisses me off a lot. They have a superiority complex for what reason??? Because you don't "ship" you think you're so mature? I saw one post today that said that Jikookers and Taekookers are the same om a tweet from a taekooker giving a whole essay about the justification of their cropped and manipulated video that is so misleading, which I'm guessing is what you might possibly be referring to. (For anyone confused they cropped the video of SG2020 where Jikook were all up on each other to make it look like Jungkook was actually tryna record Taehyung or sumn.) These are the same people that write off the hate Jimin and Jungkook and Taehyung gets to ship war. No it's not freaking ship war. People are spewing disgusting lies and comments and spreading rumors about some of the members of your favourite band but because you see the same three people it's just "ship war"? That makes it ok? If you would take the time to see exactly where majority of this hate is coming from (taekookers) and who its directed to (Jimin AND Jungkook), you realize that JUST maybe these people might actually hate Jikook as individuals and constantly crap on their bond because of it. "Tkkrs and Jkkrs are at it again. Weirdos 🙄".

And them lumping us with taekookers... Like, my guy you can see the clear difference.

I don't think you're a solo stan nor would I want to encourage solo behaviour. Stay away from the taekookers side of the fandom and focus more on Taekook. Which it seems like you do👏🏽 Original content and Jikookers who appreciate all the bonds is my go-to.

[onebizarrekai]

I think that lucia di lammermoor is one of my new favorite operas not just because of the mad scene but because the opera makes no sense whatsoever

there are literally so many plot holes in the libretto. there are so many unexplained facets of the narrative, unresolved arcs, dialogues that mandate copious creative liberties, things that only happen off-stage, and some unsolvable problems that can only be fixed by cutting things or directing things a certain way. there’s so much nonsense it’s actually hilarious. if you read the source story of the bride of lammermoor the opera diverts quite a bit, but the bride of lammermoor is actually even worse, so let’s put that to the side.

let’s just start from the beginning of the opera, paraphrasing as much as possible. lucia’s evil brother, enrico, is the first lead to greet the stage, minutes after his goony normano. normano tells enrico the tale of how enrico’s archenemy, edgardo, saved the life of lucia, and he reluctantly admits that they are now in love with each other and are secretly meeting up all the time. enrico flips his shit and sings about how he’s going to kill edgardo or whatever. bide the bent (aka raimondo, but schirmir really said bide the bent, whatever the hell that means) exists and does priest stuff because he’s a priest. by the way, there’s this whole thing about how the ashton family (aka lucia and enrico) are protestant and edgardo is catholic and that’s why they hate each other and that’s why there’s a priest.

anyway they all leave, and then lucia and alice enter. lucia is, naturally, waiting for her illegal boyfriend: edgardo. she is very scared because enrico is a piece of shit and wants to kill her boyfriend. alice is like “yo man this is a bad idea” and lucia is like “where’s edgardo” but lucia is also perturbed by something else. she has a ghost story to tell about this nondescript fountain and tells alice about the girl who was killed by her lover at this fountain, and then suddenly goes like “by the way the ghost of the dead woman appeared to me” and like wow ok lucia. after singing about all of the water turning to blood in her hallucination, she proceeds to completely change moods and sing about how much she loves edgardo because she is crazy. after all of this, edgardo finally arrives and tells lucia about how he actually has to go to france to do ambassador stuff and disappear for an indefinite period of time. he says that they should finally tell enrico about their relationship. lucia completely shuts him down, and then edgardo cries about how enrico has killed his family and how she’s the only light of his life. they end up deciding to keep their relationship a secret anyway and then vow to marry each other.

act 2, enrico has ordered normano to forge a break-up letter from edgardo to send it to lucia. normano shows up to give it to enrico, enrico summons lucia into wherever he is to tell her that he needs to marry her off to some other guy in order to save their family. lucia is like “but I’m marrying someone else” and enrico is like “oh yeah? read this” and gives her the letter, and lucia naturally breaks down because it’s a big lie about how edgardo has found someone else in france. she cries about it until this big fanfare plays to welcome her new husband, arturo. at this point lucia is singing about nothing except how much death would benefit her right now. enrico leaves after being an asshole for a few more minutes, and then in comes bide the bent to lecture lucia about the invalidity of her previous marital vows. she leaves to change into a wedding gown.

enter arturo, this random loser that enrico wants lucia to marry. his lines are so cliché that he’s probably reading them off a sheet of paper (which is exactly how we staged the production I am currently doing). somehow arturo knows about lucia’s affair with edgardo because those two were actually horrible at being secretive, but also he doesn’t care because he gets to marry a hottie. enrico tells arturo about how lucia’s mother died and that’s why she’s crying about the wedding. lo and behold, lucia enters and she is crying. they hold the wedding right then and there under the Authority™ of bide the bent, enrico forces lucia to sign the wedding documents, and then everyone is like “wait who’s at the door?” and then EDGARDO BREAKS IN and he’s like “EDGAAAAAARDO” and they sing a whole sextet that borders a confusion ensemble except it’s a bel canto tragedy.

edgardo is like “yeah man! it’s my right to be here since I’m engaged to lucia!” and enrico is like “PSH” and bide the bent comes up like “sorry she just signed this Other Marriage Contract” and shows it to edgardo and edgardo is like WHAT and he comes up to lucia like BRUH YOU DONE THIS?? and lucia doesn’t even know what’s happening at this point, she’s just like “yes?? but” and then edgardo takes off his ring and hers and then throws a temper tantrum before he gets kicked out.

behold the wolf’s craig duet, the most stupid and pointless thing in this opera considering what happens later. enrico barges into edgardo’s house and they sing about how they’re going to kill each other and duel at the graveyard. that’s it. there’s probably sexual tension.

after that, there’s a wedding party, except with a Horrifying Twist. lucia goes upstairs with arturo and fucking kills him. having lost her mind, she comes out covered in blood and sings for like twenty minutes in a very impressive manor. she collapses on the floor at the very end.

there’s a random recit right afterwards where enrico, bide the bent and normano briefly talk about lucia losing her mind. while enrico is crying about lucia, bide the bent literally blames normano of all people, who did exactly nothing, for every bad thing that happened to lucia.

the final scene begins at the graveyard. now, I know what you’re thinking. edgardo and enrico promised to duel each other here, right? right! so where the hell is enrico? I dunno, not here. edgardo is here, and he’s crying and stuff about his dead father. he’s very sad and probably wants to perish. a chorus shows up mourning something. edgardo asks about it and no one wants to tell him. bide the bent appears in all his priestliness and tells edgardo that lucia is now in heaven. how did she die? beats me. she died of insanity or something. edgardo has lost the final thing in his life that matters to him, so he decides to “go see her” and stabs himself.

the opera ends.

welcome to lucia di lammermoor. now, some of these plot holes are resolvable through directing. for example, lucia’s insanity is inexplicable in the libretto. nobody is just sad about their boyfriend and commits murder–granted, her first aria had her singing about a ghost and a fountain of blood. why’s she like this, though? she’s probably not ok. so like, some people explain this by making enrico way way worse than just a big liar. in the production that I’m doing, enrico is being depicted as sexually abusive towards lucia, and like, yeah that helps do some explaining. but you know what it doesn’t help? the parts of the opera that normally get cut, like the stupidass wolf’s craig duet that exists for no reason and usually gets cut because it makes no sense. also, the scene right after the mad scene where bide the bent comically blames normano for everything even though it is clearly enrico’s fault and enrico is randomly mourning lucia even though he was horrible to her for the whole opera. unfortunately, when you have companies like the met, which do full operas with no cuts, you get the whole, nonsensical story in its full glory, not to mention the met tends to shy away from taking creative liberties with the directing.

so like, why do I say this opera is a new favorite? well, aside from it being fun to sing, since I’m doing it for the first time, it’s absolutely hilarious to consider who the real mastermind here is, since for some reason, the librettist seems to think that it’s normano. you have to make up so much subtext in this story in order to even make it begin to make sense, so how far can you take it? how much nonsense can you create?

easy mode is assuming the mastermind is enrico. he’s a horrible person. obviously bide the bent accuses normano because he’s trying to divert the blame from enrico, who may or may not kill him if he says the truth. however, enrico does not go to the graveyard to kill edgardo and tie off loose ends (which I personally think he should have). enrico just kind of disappears, honestly, in spite of being the main bad guy.

bide the bent is another viable option. he blames normano to divert attention from himself. he plays the role of the peacemaker between edgardo and enrico during the sextet, but it’s all a sham. the reason bide the bent appears in the final graveyard scene is because he’s the true villain here. he simply took advantage of everyone around him in order to make sure everything went according to plan. enrico’s bs towards lucia, lucia’s insanity, edgardo’s depression, normano loyalty, the whole deal. he wishes to rise in power… perhaps the reason enrico does not show up in the final scene is because bide the bent has already disposed of him.

what if it was edgardo? what if he and lucia devised a plan to create an opening that would allow them to run away? what if arturo was in on it? lucia pretends to murder arturo, pretends to go insane, and the plan was to finally flee with edgardo… but then they were INTERCEPTED. their plan was ruined. lucia was disposed of by the enemy off-stage and it was too late. they claim she died of insanity, but she was killed by normano under enrico’s orders, or whoever else is the designated evil one here.

in the met, for some reason, they decide to have lucia’s ghost come in during the final scene and silently “coerce” edgardo into ending his life, which sounds cool, but it was ridiculous. I just remember the blood bag being in the wrong place so he had to stab himself in the kidney and lucia actually pushed the prop knife in like she wasn’t literally a ghost. there was also a ghost during lucia’s first aria that totally upstaged her. this opens up many stupid doors for directing such as arturo’s ghost returning as well if need be. anyone’s ghost could be there. ghosts canonically exist at the met. arturo could be fortnite dancing during the mad scene.

behold, a terrible take. edgardo is having a secret affair after all, but he’s having an affair with enrico. enrico is enraged when he discovers edgardo’s relationship with his sister because he thought that THEY had a thing. he vengefully tries to break them up by marrying lucia off to arturo. enrico and edgardo sing the wolf’s craig duet as a not-tragic breakup song.

honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone in this goddamn cast was sleeping with each other. the possibilities are endless

during the staging period of the show, we all came up with so many stupid and hilarious ideas that we could stage an entire comedy version of this opera. maybe one day it could happen. maybe…

anyway it’s like midnight and I’m doing my cast’s performance of this opera in two days, and I just drove home a while ago from performance 1 today talking with my family about all of these stupid possibilities, so it’s all on my mind. at least the mad scene is fun to sing

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Do you think they would actually enjoy the modern world? Or would they want to stay in their current time period?

Hm, well, I think that may vary depending on each suitor if I’m honest! (I’ll be excluding Sebastian from this one, only because he is a modern man and I wager he would want to stay in the mansion in order to finish his thesis) 

Under a cut bc it’s a long boi:

I think for people like Arthur and Theo, for instance--who always seem to live in the fast lane--it might not really prove much of a problem. They would continue enjoying the night life and move with their busy schedules. Tl;dr: (For them? Same shit, different day)

Vincent would likely be doing just fine given how Theo often provides assistance in places where he struggles; to promote his art, to spark intrigue in the general public and benefactors. He might be a little overwhelmed by the influx of stimuli that comes with the modern era, constant noise and interaction and movement--perhaps worry that people are losing their ability to live in the moment. (Not to mention what’s being done to the environment...) There might be a learning curve/adjustment, but I think Theo would help him ease in. Plus, it would be a little easier to promote his art given the less stringent restrictions on public exhibitions. He’d still have to work for his fame, but at least the van Goghs wouldn’t have to live in constant unease in the proximity of the cutthroat academy.  Tl;dr: (Mixed feelings, but tries to stay positive about modern times)

Dazai is more familiar with this kind of life of quick turmoil and breakneck speed, if anything he falls back into his old coping mechanisms--hello writing, drinking, and smoking. An overwhelming influx of information and suffering would probably be hard for him to manage, despite how expertly he hides it. I think I would be worried he would lose himself in the dismal reality of diminished connection with other people. Yes I’m shoving him into therapy, I want him to start living for himself and taking care of himself ffs

That isn’t to say there aren’t happy possibilities for him, just that I think he really needs to heal first. I could see him very happy in a kind of writer’s circle with people he loves and trusts; less expending his energy in a desperate attempt to fill the void and please others, more cultivating his own happiness... Tl;dr: (Positive potential, but honestly part of me thinks the past quieter/simple/rural life suits him better...he still loves meme culture tho, he finds it so expansive and creative)

Isaac is in a similar boat as Dazai, I think! He has wonderful potential as a mentor and professor, and living in a world that has a little more patience and respect for genius might help encourage him to put himself out there. That being said, I think the pace of life would exhaust him though--he is very much the kind of person that prefers to keep to himself and just puzzle and tinker. Baby boy just wants to do equations, build little inventions, and read up on the recent discoveries in astrophysics (BRUH WHEN THE IMAGE OF THE BLACK HOLE CAME OUT HE FORGOT HOW TO B R E A T H E) Napoleon is the only reason he eats anything healthy or on any kind of regular schedule s m h. Tl;dr: (Not a lot changes, honestly? He was reclusive then, he still is now--he just has more toys/academic resources. If anything he might get a little too lost in his work because of it, somebody please make sure he’s eating/sleeping/socializing;;;)

Poor Jeanne is SUFFERING. Please release him from this nightmare he is begging. Jk jk, I don’t think it would be too bad for him--but I do think that he would have the aforementioned problem of too many stimuli and too much interaction. I think he would ease into it a little with Mozart’s help; he would just be awkward and wooden until he got the hang of it. Most people just find him quirky in an amusing way, and don’t think too hard about it. I’d wager he’d probably become literate at this point because of the abundance of resources and necessity to read/write (okay but imagine this baby with a little kid workbook iM GONNA CRY!!! TAKE ALL MY CRAYONS JEANNE). 

Can you imagine this mofo at a Starbucks??? Tall and stoic, dark and debonair (EVERYONE IS S W O O N I N G), and he just asks in a light tenor “can I have a mocha with eight shots of expresso” with a completely straight face. “Sir, that could kill you” “Don’t worry, I’ve been dead a long time” And he just moves to wait for his order. 11/10 cryptid I could watch an entire show just about his daily adventures

He works with Napoleon a lot given their similar skillsets. They coach kids at high schools that have fencing teams (it’s really REALLY cute bc if they’re on the younger side, Jeanne will very dramatically lose bc he wants to encourage them and the kids are delighted--but the parents are INCHES from laughing so hard they’re in tears). Otherwise, he mostly takes up gigs as a security worker/bodyguard, only really works for the money. He prefers to spend his time in ways that feel meaningful if he can, so don’t be surprised if you see him in foster homes and in social working spaces. He has an uncanny understanding about him, a kind of silence/patience that doesn’t stifle; it makes the kids/teens calm down in milliseconds. They really listen when he does talk, and he sets good and clear boundaries--he knows how to be firm when it’s required. He gives them the structure and placid grounding they’ve never had, and really pays attention to what’s important to them. Brings them little things he notices; brings flowers to the one that likes to draw, brings CDs (he is bad with technology, but they usually only have access to older/outdated stuff anyway) to the one the one that struggles to write with white noise in the house, brings little plushies to the ones that lose theirs. He’s simple but solid, and he finds a lot of meaning in helping kids overcome the similar kind of struggles he faced.  Tl;dr: (Steep learning curve, but he just sees it as all the same really--just more work to be done with the literacy requirement and adjustment to technology. Will be resistant at first, but when he gets accustomed and starts finding people who are important to him, he wouldn’t want to change anything/go back. But will admit there are some days he just wants to go to the most remote place he can access and just live there for a month with no human interaction whatsoever; people are inefficient and insufferable sometimes)

Mozart’s life honestly doesn’t change much? I feel like he would easily be able to keep composing and continue releasing his work as per usual. Given his quick capacity to schmooze and say what people want to hear when he must, he’d be more than able to network his way into success. I think the only thing he might struggle with now and again is inspiration, given the world operates on a very surface level in the modern era sometimes. Profound insight and depth are not quite as cultivated in many ways, and he can struggle to find something that just sparks motivation/novelty in his mind, makes him start composing at breakneck speed. He reads a lot and watches some TV shows/movies when he’s at really low inspiration levels, the kind of guy that sneers at Game of Thrones--but finds things like BBC’s Sherlock more passable (wants intrigue and complexity, doesn’t much enjoy the sensationalized drivel). When Arthur finds out he loves ATLA he about falls off his seat. “It’s a children’s show.” “Yes it is, with a remarkable level of depth and craftsmanship, what are you trying to say?” He begins to find a kind of rhythm in his composing, and Jeanne and Dazai often drop by with so many crazy stories he finds himself filled with music anyway LMAO Tl;dr: (Same as Isaac, really just keeps doing his thing without being impeded, and he enjoys the luxuries/conveniences of the modern era. Will be slightly resistant at first because of how alien some of the changes are, but will fall into the habits/customs slowly and surely. Fine with it, will whine a bit at the growing pains tho)

Leonardo actually canonically owns a bar, and does that really surprise anyone? He really enjoys the excitement of meeting new people and hearing about their myriad histories, the influx of cultures/languages/experiences. It’s a nice but lowkey place, people stop for a drink, listen to some good music--chat amiably and relax after a long day’s work--before heading out. There are regulars and people that just stop for that single day; tourists, vacationers, so on and so forth.

When asked, many people note a sleek black cat with sharp eyes that led them to the bar... Tl;dr: (Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Prequel, adapts well to the modern era because of centuries of experience but also...he’s so tired...somebody please hold him I can’t watch him live like this, lord jesus)

Optimally, I see Comte filling his time with myriad pursuits; ranging from philanthropy, indulging in art/music/theatre (often a benefactor as well), and keeping track of his chirren (they may exist more independently now, but he still worries about them ;-;). Otherwise nothing much changes for him, still goes to galas and fancy gatherings, still enjoys fashion and spoiling people, still seeks to occupy himself with social interaction and care-taking--if he doesn’t have a family of his own. He’s basically just that meme that’s like DON’T LET THE EXISTENTIAL DREAD SET-IN. DON’T LET IT SET-IN!!!!!!!!! Tl;dr: (Not to repeat myself but also Don’t Let the Existential Dread Set-in: The Sequel, literally just desperately trying to fill the void please somebody help him he also just needs to be held fuck’s sake, I’m going to drag him kicking and screaming into happiness--but otherwise has no great trouble adjusting to the modern era. I feel like he would have a more minor form of what Dazai struggles with, maybe a lack of personable connection that he once had; fewer chances to be himself and relax. Also probably worried about the increasing unhappiness and turmoil building in the world in general...)

Napoleon is similar to Comte in that he often checks up on Isaac and Jeanne from time to time, and does the aforementioned fencing lessons with kids. He also takes a lot of basic security positions--for venues, concerts, museums--you name it. He dislikes the idea of sitting behind a desk a lot, so he prefers to do a lot of different things; he even cooks from time to time at the restaurants  that know him very well. One gig he particularly enjoys is battle choreography for movies/theatre! He tends to stay away from anything too historically close to his era of origin, but he has fun coming up with realistic (smaller scale) hand-to-hand combat scenarios and duels. Tl;dr: (This era doesn’t feel like too much of a change. It’s a little more intensive in terms of pace, but he manages to keep up pretty well, it just exhausts him from time to time--and he usually goes on trips or hikes to unwind when he needs to like Jeanne LOL they do not go to their happy place, they go to their high lonesome place).

Shakespeare also continues to do his drama thing, organizes troupes on tons of different levels--from community level to more intense, skilled groups that re-enact his own work. His life doesn’t change all that much beyond a new form of theatre logistics, and he adjusts to the technology fairly easily out of necessity. He’ll stop by Vincent’s place from time to time to show him recordings of his latest shows, but otherwise is almost always on the move. Tl;dr: (So long as he can keep following his greatest passion, he doesn’t really mind the changes in how theatre happens--he doesn’t have any sizable issues with the modern era.)

Ability with technology (phones mostly):

Arthur: more than capable, well-versed, loves to do everything on his phone no prob--maybe lives a little too much on his phone (Vine/TikTok/Youtube can kill his productivity RIP) also yes he has a fidget spinner on his desk, no I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time

Theo: yes but with a lot of cursing at first, had to do it for work and now looks down on anyone that can’t keep up with him (except for Vincent)

Vincent: knows the basics, taking and sending pictures, writing things in notes for later, texting (tho sending emails is a little harder for him); he does his best but he can be slow. Really really enjoys the paint programs on his iPad for when he’s on public transit, but he starts setting alarms after he gets the hang of it (he’s missed his stops before because of it LMAO)

Leonardo: what kind of stupid question? Man knows how to pick them apart and put ‘em back together for crying out loud, uses it like a pro--comes to him naturally, and he’s the guy that keeps coming up with ways to jailbreak Apple products and thwart their money-grubbing tactics. Catch him playing Minish Cap on his emulator on the way to work, brah

Comte: just vibing, keeps up with the times easily since he’s been doing it for so long, much like Theo uses it to keep in touch with the people around him--he’s the “prefers to call instead of text” sorta guy though, he worries about losing emotional subtleties and he likes to hear people’s voices. Doesn’t do anything special on phones, more just a tool; will read/listen to podcasts/does have emulators (courtesy of Leo) and enjoys playing Pokemon when he’s bored

Jeanne: types one finger at a time, it will take a while--but he’ll get there (deleted all his contacts by accident once and Mozart was just. HOW.) He barely knows how to use a phone, and it’s a steep learning curve for him

Mozart: purely functional when it comes to his phone, refuses to rely on it beyond the necessities that only tech can do (for instance, sending emails or reading articles or uploading compositions) he still writes his music before making more polished digital copies. He will sometimes listen to pieces digitally, but prefers to play them in-person; he feels that a lot of the soul in a piece is lost despite the convenience

Dazai: you absolute fools. you baboons. why would you ever give him this kind of power. it is 3AM and he has been on a wikipedia trail spanning hours, started with Cleopatra being the seventh in her line with that name all the way to cotton candy being called “daddy’s beard” in French. please help him he hasn’t slept in years. Also probably binges anime and manga lbr. He’s the one making vine references every other second, always up to date on the memes^TM

Isaac: also mostly uses it as a tool for research and calculations; it’s a way to keep track of information. He also likes to play background music while he’s working, so he finds the device nice and convenient--plus less having to go around pestering people in-person. he does start to get interested in coding and tinkering with apps/programs eventually, too

Shakespeare: finds it a delightful little contraption, so useful because it lets him jot down ideas as they come to him quickly, and he can edit his texts much more easily with digital interfaces. also likes that performances can be recorded, because now he can analyze his staging more efficiently--it gives him a good sense of what needs to be adjusted, and encourages him to keep streamlining/try new concepts

Napoleon: likes it because he can keep in touch with people more easily, the kind of guy to drop a line before checking on a friend. he really likes to look up recipes and find out more about cooking techniques he’s never encountered before. Isaac starts making an Instagram account just to show Napoleon’s impeccable plating, and Napo gets quite the following without knowing for a while