#there's more rambly venting on my main but i don't want to talk about it besides what my stupid ass already said

[theultracharmingladynoire]

This has been a rant building up for a while now and I just need to put it in here but it's that. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I watched y/o/i ep 1 - 10 because I literally. Knew nothing about the show except for the fact it was gay?? dvsjgshd but it just was so GOOD but then I. Came across a couple of interpretations of ep 11-12 (which I hadn't watched by then so I had no idea what went down) which was just people being disappointed, people thinking the ending was changed for a season 2, people thinking it was out of nowhere (especially V/ictor's comeback?? I guess??) And that really. messed up my perception of the show?? Like upto then I was forming my own interpretations of the characters and after this I. Was lowkey scared to watch the last two episodes because I was afraid of it being bad™ (if that even makes sense) and then one day even when I did watch them I didn't watch them properly?? Like I even missed a lot of scene and dialogue because I was too nervous about what I had read about it before.

And like. I don't even think those interpretations are entirely wrong for record. I understand that especially when there was a whole week between episodes and when the fandom was so huge and active people might have a very different viewing experience which directly plays into how they interpreted the character arcs! And those interpretation are extremely valid even though I disagree with them. The show definitely leaves a lot upto intrepretation of the viewers so there isn't any interpretation that is necessarily wrong™ (Idk how to phrase this sorry)

But it's just that I wasn't able to form MY own interpretation properly because I was influenced by others' ?? (In lack of a better way to word it) and I just. I've been mulling over this for a whole MONTH and going back and forth and back about the ending. And it just feels very draining when I go out to look for meta and people who had opinions similar to mine and find...like what ten people?? it kind of makes me feel like I am looking at things wrong, and that probably the finale WAS just bad or whatever (which seems to be a more common idea in what I've seen)

I do think there were pacing issues, and I do think the character arcs CAN be interpreted differently than what they are in the finale but I also am a bit sad that not many people tried to recontextualise the show in light of the finale (again, it isn't a MUST But I really wish people tried to if I am making sense?)

And it's sad because I know this can be fun if I just created my own bubble without all the meta and opinions I disagree with but it's hard when that is somehow always what I come across? And I KNOW I should stop reading a post when I see that it may suggest something towards the opinions that I disagree with (because that'll just waste my energy), but then what if I AM wrong? What if those posts are right and I am willingly closing my eye towards what the characters originally are or something?? Is what perplexes me out and really makes me sort of nervous and uneasy(?)

And now it is getting worse and I feel like I am slowly losing all the love I had for this show and it absolutely SUCKS because I just want to enjoy this silly little show and now this is all....just a mess

[swagferret]

shall be logging out for a few days. shit is hitting the fan irl.

[voidzphere]

☆ MASTERPOST // INTRO !!!

[ ALL THE BLOGZ I RUN: @killersanz (killer sans askblog) @killzbitezz (non-utmv blog) @utmv-callouts (utmv-calloutz) ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

╭───────────── * ˚ ✦

HII !! im killer, but my friendz + mootz call me killz !! welcome to my blog ^_^ i luvv my prtnerz !! @mewobrute @sharkk-fin @glitchy-skull <3 (more stuff under the cut!!)

╰───────────── ✧.* ⋆

✩ ABOUT ME !!! >_<

FIRST OFF, HERE ARE SOME OF MY FLAGZ !!! :3 ↓↓↓

my main prnz are he/it/bite, but i alzo use vamp/fang/bone/skull/blood/gore/knife ! (plz dont refer 2 me w they/them)

my special interest is undertale + utmv ! (if that waznt obv enough..)

i love love LOVE horror gamez .. some of my favz rn are kinitopet, imscared, house, ddlc, rental, and bonnie's bakery :]

I HAVE A PERSONA ! u can find itz ref sheet here :] i uzually draw myself as either him or juzt killer sans !!

I LOOOVE MY MOOTZ, FRIENDZ, AND PARTNERZ <333

some of my current hyperfixationz are fionna & cake, smg4, regretevator, atsv, invader zim, adventure time & dialtown !

i have a guestbook !! leave a little note for me to read if u want :3

some of my fav bandz/artistz are talking heads, misfits, bad brains, rio romeo, lemon demon, will wood, pixies, melanie martinez, alex g, 6arelyhuman, goreshit, sex pistols, potsu, the living tombstone, etc. !

some of my fav songz are alien blues, vampire culture, laplace's angel, dr sunshine is dead, seriously?, genius of love, at the movies, charlie's inferno, etc. !

✩ my tagz !

#killz art - my art !! :3

#killz rb - reblogz

#killz yapz - my yap sessionz

#killz answerz - answerz to my askz

#vent kinda - my (kinda) ventz

#tag/ask game - self-explanatory

#killersanz - stuff related to my killer sans ask blog !

#killz fingie doodlez - stuff i drew w my finger :3

#killz srb - self reblogz

✩ dni

basic dni criteria

istz + phobez

epiciller, /r + /sx errorink, etc.

pro/dark/comship (or whatever you call your weirdo selvez..)

irl doublez (unless i knew u beforehand!!) (im irlz of killer, reaper, & epic.)

minorz who post nsfw cuz ion wanna see that shit man go do ur homework

slander of my interestz/special interestz + hyperfixationz like stfu

mockery of me and/or my traitz (i.e my typing quirkz)

unwanted criticism, especially if i didnt ask for it. stfu part 2

anyone i've had drama with + my exez (fuck you)

HOMESTUCK. and hazbin hotel + helluva boss (tbh i dont rlly care if you like these mediaz and interact with me, just dont talk abt it in front of me yknow)

✩ byi + boundariez

i have autism + adhd, BPD, & typing quirkz !! tone indicatorz are optional when talking to me, but i appreciate them.

i'm an irl + fictkin ! i have a few c-linkz as well.

im not a roleplay account btw /srs

my art requestz are alwayz open ! can't promise i'll alwayz do them, but they help me out with inspiration though :3

DO NOT REPOST MY ART. i will find you

if you use my art, credit me. you dont alwayz gotta ask me before usin my art, but i appreciate it if you do !!

my askbox + dmz are alwayz open !! i love meetin new people n gettin to know em :] im fine w tagz, commentz, & spam-likez/reblogz too !

i might accidentally spam-like (i get too excited).

just because i make suggestive jokez and im hypersexual doez not mean i'm not sex-replused from time to time.

im a DID system and use i/me pronounz. i don't talk about my DID often becauze i see it as unimportant to other ppl.

i'm nonhuman !! plz do not refer to me as human. i prefer skeleton termz over everything else. im ur favorite homozexual cryptid-skeleton :3

i tend to ramble, say thingz that are out-of-pocket, have trouble with volume control/typing in all capz, make inappropriate jokez, flirt with & tease my close friendz, etc. if u ever find any of this bothering, plz inform me and i will stop.

i love drama + gossip, i will argue with strangerz on the internet just to spite them bc i find it funny ^_^ (only if theyre in the wrong and deserve it.)

i have strong opinionz and will shit-talk you if you're a weirdo who deservez it.

my blog, my rulez <3

★ last updated: 5/23/24

[mx-werebat]

Intro

// pt: intro //

Portrait art creds, frame creds

Pronouns Page ►

Boundaries ►

Things I'd like filter tagged ►

Hello hello! Welcome to my blog. My name is Laura, nonbinary romance-oscillating aromantic (questioning autosexual) femme lesbian (a lot, isn't it?), and my pronouns are it/bat/vamp/doll/fang. I am also nonhuman and would prefer to referred to as a bat or a vampire.

Huge disclaimer, I identify as fictionkin and if you're not comfortable with that, then it's best you not interact.

// pt: Huge disclaimer, I identify as fictionkin and if you're not comfortable with that, then it's best you not interact. //

This is my main blog! However I'm more active on my nonhuman blog linked here.

// pt: this is my main blog! However I'm more active on my nonhuman blog linked here. (The word "here" on the non-plain text version contains a link). //

Interested in more of that? My fictionkin blog is also available to take a looksies at. Here you'll get to see artwork redraws as well as some thoughts and journal notes.

// pt: interested in more of that? My fictionkin blog is also available to take a looksies at. Here you'll get to see artwork redraws as well as some thoughts and journal notes. (The second sentence on the non-plain text version is another link). //

I am autistic with ADHD, I also suspect BPD but am working towards a diagnosis and do accept the fact that I may be wrong. Please use tone tags with me! I struggle with tone.

My special interests are bats, Draculaura from Monster High, and stuffed toys! Usually here I post about those.

New thing; please ask to be mutuals! I can't tell if you follow me because you want to be mutuals or just want to see my posts.

// pt: New thing; please ask to be mutuals! I can't tell if you follow me because you want to be mutuals or just want to see my posts. //

My DNI is as goes; bigots, fatphobes, anti-kin, anti-recovery, kink blogs, those who are verbal about hating Draculaura, radqueers, and assholes in general. However I block liberally.

I say kink blogs DNI because I am hypersexual and it can get triggered quite easily.

I would also prefer you not follow me if you're an omegaverse blog or yandere blog.

Hate asks and interactions will get you blocked on sight fyi!

Tag masterlist:

#doll rambles 🎀 - personal posts

#vamp's mutuals 🦇 - reblogs from mutuals' posts, asks from mutuals, etc.

#bat's askbox - asks that have been answered

#fang's lament - vent posts

#rb - reblogs

#laura's bat tag - any posts relating to bats

Before you interact, credits for things used, as well as less important blinkies/userboxes and extra things are under the cut!

BYI (before you interact):

I have anger issues and have a hard time controlling my emotions. I try to interact as nice as possible but sometimes I will slip up. If I do I will apologize! I never mean to be intentionally hostile unless you're being an asshole.

Please reach out to me if you want a post to have filter tags! Whether via DMs or the ask box (I can respond privately, but please clarify if you want a private, public, or no response at all!). Sometimes I'll forget to filter tag posts, or am unsure what to tag them with, at all, and it would be appreciated that way I don't accidentally upset, trigger, or make anyone uncomfortable.

This is not a vent account but I tend to "vent" a lot. I don't necessarily consider it venting more so posting about things so I can profess my thoughts.

I am prone to getting irritated and confused easily. Please be patient with me.

I am strictly pro recovery. I have quite a few mental illnesses, some of which will be talked about here, but keep in mind that I never intend to romanticize or glamorize them.

I don't always answer asks, reblogs or replies in a timely manner. I am anxious a lot and don't always know what to say. This is nothing against anyone.

I tend to ask for asks from mutuals quite a lot. I usually don't reach out due to anxiety and the fear of being burdensome. I appreciate asks from my mutuals whenever and try my best to answer.

Credits:

// pt: credits //

Wonderful pfp art by @bugsb1te, as well as the blinkie! 🦇

Dividers used on this blog are by @/arachnid-wife, @/7171955, @/moonlightdividingthelands, and @/anitalenia

Replycons that are (hopefully going to be) used in responses to asks are by @4ng3lz-r3qu3tz, myself (hope you don't mind the mention) , and the Montgomery template by @/jessource

Userboxes are either by myself, @/cyber-therian, or @/sweetpeauserboxes.

Banner art is from DarkoDark

Important userboxes and blinkies!

// pt: important userboxes and blinkies! //

[feralbeeast]

I've been on here for WAY too long to not have a proper pinned post and my blog over the years has become the chaotic hell that is my brain so hi, read my bio!!

Pre 2024 handle was @ badasswitchbitch

Prev pinned was " My gender is not boy or girl my gender is Slut. "

Dms and asks always open !

18+ minors dni ⚠️

I'M NOT A WOMAN! I'M NONBINARY!

Keep reading!!!

Intro / about me :

You can call me Bee, my bio gives a good basic description of my interests/blog but there's so much more feel free to ask !

I'm a shy flirt by nature so if we chat keep that in mind 🖤

Feel free to spam/dm/ask literally anything on here! I love attention and talking to people

𖹭 Pansexual Sub-leaning switch 𖹭

I'm 5'3, in my 20s and currently reside in the US [pls don't ask specific age/location]

I have a few tattoos and piercings but crave more, my style can only be described as an alternative mess

Always looking for more homies to sesh and hang with

As stated in my bio I am poly! I'm currently in an open relationship with 1 partner. I'm not actively looking for another but I'm also not opposed to it :)

If you want to see what I look like check the featured search tags, i post selfies and lewds

I try to tag all my personal posts and reblogs that I add to / relate a lot to with #feralbeeast ramble !

I unfortunately have many mental illnesses and disorders, as well as physical disorders and chronic pain so you'll probably see some stuff about it

Kinks ;

𖹭 includes but not limited to ; exhibition, praise, pet play, weed intox, cnc, somno, bdsm, marking, shibari/bondage, monster fucker, knife play, breath play, corruption, pred/prey, obsession, masochism, blood,objectification ect. I'm open to trying anything at least once 𖹭

What to expect :

This blog is run by an extremely mentally ill, autistic, hypersexual queer with very diverse tastes. The main themes and aesthetics I like to reblog are horror, gore, blood, goth, grunge, fantasy, nature, animals, stoner, nerdy, anime/video games, dark humor, sex ect. [There's plenty more but I'd be typing forever]

I'm a traumatized freak with dark kinks and will show that side sometimes! Be prepared for unhinged postings when I'm stoned (which is basically all the time)

Since this blog has been up for a long time it is filled with shit I don't even remember, I used to post a lot of depressing stuff and personal vents that I've been trying to move over to my side blog so if you get triggered by self harm or suicidal themes turn away now or properly block those tags.

if you want to see the darker and more personal vent stuff dm me for the side blog

Limits -

I use They/Them pronouns ONLY

I am Nonbinary. Not a woman. Not a man.

Do NOT call me a girl in any form.

I don't tolerate ANY kind of homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, sexism, racism, terfs, ableism, nazis ect on my page, and you can fuck right off if you do🖕

If you can't respect me don't interact

[mlmshark]

Introduction to Mlmshark

Info:

Oliver, 17 yrs, trans male, gay/vincian

This is my account where I ramble about being gay and talk about my experiences as a queer man

And now because apparently I have to add this:

‼️PROSHIP AND RADQUEER DNI‼️ ‼️I AM A VICTIM OF PEDOPHILIA AND CSA I DO NOT WANT YOU HERE YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE‼️

This isn't an nsfw account, but it is 17+ so I can be more mature without worrying about younger followers like I have on my other accounts

Fanfic acc: @sharkboywrites (dead) art acc @sharkboyoli

I will give out my discord, but only to mutuals who ask

more info below, including boundaries please read before sending messages

This is an mlm blog

I use the labels I use/are comfortable with trans man, transmasc, gay, vincian, achillean, aroace, aromantic, greyromantic (more specific way of describing my romantic attraction) and asexual

I am autistic (maybe, I got tested and my results were inconclusive so I’m not sure what to make of that). My special interests are genshin impact and horror media (please talk to me about them PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)

My pronouns are strictly he/him, but I'm not sure about neos, feel free to use them on me it doesn't bother me

Anyone can interact regardless of sexuality or gender identity, I prefer the people who are my mutuals to be 17+, but younger people can like my posts and ask me questions. I won't follow back anyone under 17.

The main point of this account is to have somewhere to talk about being gay and find more gay people to have a community with it.

For a long time and even sometimes to this day I've been shamed for my identity, so I want my own space to be an openly gay trans man with no hate and find other people in my community. I'm also still exploring myself and the world as a trans man, despite being out for six years, and this is my space to talk about it.

Boundaries

No proshippers, radqueers, zoophiles, etc.

No racism or ablesim, this is a space for all gay men/nblm regardless

My mutuals need to be 17 or older, I may be more mature at times, but not to the point of full nsfw

Do not send me nsfw asks unless they're questions about the queer experience ( for ex. asking about my experience, how to know, about my asexuality, and life as a gay/trans man are fine)

Don't send me/tag me in nsfw posts

Don't try to be homophobic or transphobic, I'll just block you

No shaming me or other people for liking men, even if you're also queer

Don't come onto my posts complaining about how you hate men

Don't try to compare my experiences with other queer people/try to make it the oppression Olympics

Don't complain to me about gay labels or flags

Don't try to invalidate anyone who interacts with this account that identifies as gay, even if you think they don't count (transmasc gay, tranfem gay, genderfluid gay, etc.)

Generally don't bring any discourse

You're free to vent in my asks if it's related to being gay or transgender, this account is for people to find community, just try not to make people uncomfortable

Don't call me the f or t slur unless you know I'm okay with it, even when I call myself it

As you can tell, this is mostly an nsfw neutral account, I'm okay with talking about it in the non- horny sense or now. this acc may be more open to it as time goes on (probably as I get older and experience more things), but for now: no <3

That's it, feel free to interact, i'd love to find some gay people in the community that I can ramble with and be a man kisser with :)

[bluegekk0]

Bit of a ramble about something that's been on a mind for a while, about HK and the AU. Not really a vent, but just wanted to talk about it. It's pretty long so I'll hide it.

My relationship with HK these days is a bit complicated, to be honest. I absolutely adore the game, I get this warm feeling every time I hear the soundtrack and I still get the itch to replay it from time to time. It's a work for art and I'm so, so grateful I played it, even if I was quite late to the party all things considered.

But I can't deny that I fell into the rabbithole of having too many headcanons where I can't engage with other people to the extent I perhaps used to. I don't like many of the popular characters nearly as much as the fandom does, and those that are close to my heart I interpret in a way that speaks to me, but one that feels very distant to how other people view them.

It has some downsides. I avoid looking up HK fanart and I'm slowly starting to dislike getting posts about it recommended to me in the For You tab a little bit. Not because the art is bad, far from it, there are incredible artists and other members of this community that deserve all the love in the world. It's just that it keeps reminding me that my interpretations are so personal, and headcanons that go against them almost feel like mischaracterization, as ridiculous as it sounds. Some interpretations end up upsetting me more than I'd like, too. Some of it is misinterpretations that annoy me, but some are just things I personally don't agree with.

But part of me makes me think that it's my fault somehow. I can't quite explain it, I think this is somehow rooted in my self-esteem issues. I often fear that I don't belong, that I'm doing something wrong by not following the general fanon, that my AU feels like an insult against the canon because of how derived and self-indulgent it is. I didn't have that problem before, not to this extent, but as my mental health got worse over the months, it makes sense that something like this would also start to make itself known. Or at least it makes sense to me.

So deep down I'm torn. On one hand, I get weirdly protective over my interpretations and it's gone to the point where I struggle to separate them from the versions other people talk about. On the other, I'm starting to feel guilty that my AU versions are so different that they might upset some people.

I had some moments where I considered turning them into OCs. But every time I I think about that, I reach the conclusion that no, I don't want to do that. I love them the way they are, despite their designs evolving with time, I wouldn't want to change anything about them, let alone turn them into different characters. And it's not like I'm really changing the character from the canon. Some details are different, but it's also easy to forget that we don't really know much about a lot of these characters, so in many ways I'm just filling the blanks and writing the story around it. Not to mention, adapting canon in ways that I find personally engaging is one of my favorite things about the worldbuilding and lore of the AU. And then there's all the engagement from people who like the AU and want to learn more that is genuinely the main reason why it's as expansive as it is. I don't think I would've stuck around making art for it for this long if I was doing it for myself only.

But it's not just art, knowing that people care, and getting all the interesting ideas I haven't considered inspires me to expand the world of the AU even further, I think about it in my spare time, of all the ways I could develop the world, I still get random ideas for it that I eventually want to include, I read about something in the game's lore and I immediately think of the way I could adapt it into my AU. It became a personal project that I find comfort in, and changing it would just feel wrong. And I know how my brain works (well, at least I think I do), I know I wouldn't remain as invested if I were by myself, I need to share it with other people. And I doubt they would be as interested if it wasn't for the connection to HK. I think that's natural and to be expected.

So all that leaves me in a bit of an awkward spot. I love HK, but over the last year I built a wall around me and the sandbox of my personal interpretations, that creates this disconnect between me and the rest of the fandom. I don't think that fact alone makes me upset, either. There's a reason why I'm still sitting there and playing in that sandbox to this day, and it's because I genuinely love doing it. I guess the disconnect just feeds into my already existing confidence issues and worries. Then again, I haven't really left the fandom, and I'm not planning to anytime soon. All I'm hoping for is that my low-confidence plagued brain improves, and stops telling me I'm doing something wrong by playing in the sandbox by myself.

Okay, not by myself, that would be selfish of me to say. There's still a lot of you here, people whom my silly AU clicked with, people who want to see more of it and are still there for the 6th slice of life drawing of the week. I love and appreciate you all, and I'm really grateful I can share the sandbox with you. You're the best, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm so, so happy that you found something in my art that resonated with you.

I don't know how to end this post tbh. Again, it's not really meant to be a vent post, not the usual kind at least. Even if some things about this frustrate or upset me a little bit, I think I'm slowly moving towards the acceptance stage. I don't want to change my interpretations so they're more in line with the rest of the fandom, and I don't want to force myself to engage with things that upset me just to feel like I belong. All I'm hoping is that I eventually stop having doubts; about this, and everything in general.

I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts. Maybe someone else feels like they're in a similar spot. Maybe hearing some words of encouragement that I'm not going insane with this would also help me accept the position I'm in. Maybe it's Maybelline.

[thefandomenchantress]

A new Disventure Camp episode came out today!! I figured now would be a good time to list some of my thoughts. Not only on this episode in particular, but also on Hunter's whole situation.

I mostly liked Ashley this episode, which is good since it was her last, but there's this one point in the episode that bothered me a lot, that being how she blows up at Jake and Ally for not getting along...And then just immediately forgives Jake the next scene when he gets sad?

I don't care if they make up, that's not what I'm getting at, but I really wish Jake would've apologized and said something like: "I'm sorry, Ashley, you're always so supportive and I just keep messing things up. I--I should've blown up at Ally like that-" and then have Ashley forgive him. As it is, I got some severe whiplash by how it seemed like Ashley was having a falling out with Jake and Ally, genuinely being mad at them, only for that to just be forgotten a few minutes later. I understand that Ashley is a forgiving person, but it seems too extreme even for her to just forgive him without him doing anything but complain about Tom being close. That's just what I think, though.

I really liked the rest of the episode, besides that small nitpick. I was worried I wouldn't like Gabby as much if she became evil and a legitimate threat, since I liked her more cartoony demeanor. Luckily, my worry was misplaced, because Gabby is just as silly as ever, even if she is trying to be evil. She literally said she was going to make a costume with a cape and mask to be evil in like she's a Scooby-doo villain or something, I love her so much. Then again, Yul did say she was a "Tumblr girl" so maybe it makes sense that I like her haha. While Gabby is a threat now, the writers don't try to make you take her super seriously, which I appreciated. Non-serious villains are always my favorites.

Sadly, I got Ashley's elimination partially spoiled for me (someone replied to a comment I made on the YouTube trailer for the episode, saying something along the lines of, 'yeah she goes home :)' to someone else in the replies who speculated she would. The downside of your comment becoming popular I guess). But I still liked it and genuinely considered that the person might've been lying when the elimination ceremony started. That was a pretty good subversion of expectations, I really thought Aiden was a goner.

I've never been a big fan of Jake, and while I'm not desperate for him to go home...I'm kind of over him, if I'm being honest. I know he's supposed to be flawed and partially unlikeable, but personally I just can't deal with all his bullshit, it stresses me out. I've never been too invested in TomJake, so all that nonsense this season hasn't been too fun for me, I'll be honest. I understand why people like it, but it's just not for me, I suppose. At this point I'm thankful James got out early, so that at least there's no drama between him and Aiden (yet). Most of the relationships this season are going downhill, haha. Except for Ally and Tess (please bring the polycule back I miss it it's one of the only polycule representations I've ever seen in media PLEASE--).

(Now starting the Hunter section. if you don't want to hear my insane ramblings about him, turn back.)

...I don't know when I'm going to make another post about Disventure Camp so I'm gonna vent about Hunter here, too. He was technically mentioned this episode, so it's totally relevant that I talk about him, right? Right.

Hunter was my favorite in season 2. I honestly don't know why, since he's pretty bland all things considered. Usually, I like the zany characters. I think it was him repeatedly failing to befriend Tess that pulled me in, since I can never resist a...Boyfailure? I think that's the internet term for it.

But this season I was just...NOT into his characterization. And as far as I've seen, I'm in the minority with that opinion, since I've seen a lot of people say they like him more now. The main line of reasoning I've seen is, "He was boring in season 2, and I liked him better in All-Stars because they gave him flaws."

And...I don't agree. I'm fine with them 3-dimentionaliszing his character, I agree that he was pretty flat before in terms of characterization. Actually, I'd love if they gave him some flaws! What if they highlight how bad he is at making connections/alliances with anyone other than Ally and Tess? They kind of do this by making Fiore be on his team and showing how his strategy of "win challenges to stay in the game" completely falls apart when he can't win challenges. And I thought that was all fine and good.

The thing I don't like is how they decided one of his main flaws should be being a not-good boyfriend. Which just doesn't feel right to me? His whole thing in season two was offering emotional support to Ally and Tess, and now they spin it so that he isn't paying proper attention to Ally or what she says, not grabbing her Switch, not listening to her when she talks about her games, etc.. I'm fine with Ally and Hunter having relationship troubles, but...I don't know, I guess I'm just a little mad they took his compassion away. He just seems a lot angrier and more mean-spirited this go around. He's not fun to watch. I think I have a good example to prove what I mean.

In the Secret-revealing episode of season 2, one of Ally's secrets is that she yelled at a group of children until they cried because they were using cheats in a game she was playing, and her excuse for doing so is that she was stressed. The writers bashing Ally aside, Hunter says something like, "Do you always yell at children when you're stressed?" in response, showing that even though he hasn't met those children who were doing something wrong, he doesn't think lashing out at them was okay.

...Meanwhile season 3 Hunter is yelling and lashing out at Fiore, a child, the whole time he's in the game. I know it's not exactly the same, Fiore is a bit of a demon-child, and Hunter was, ironically, stressed, but still. He seems so much more competitive and not as nice as he used to be. Being chill used to be his default, but now it's a sort of aggressiveness that just doesn't mesh with the original Hunter in my mind.

...I recently read that something happened behind the scenes that helped create this change in characterization, but as someone who wasn't aware of that when the first episodes aired and became upset when he was changed, I really would've liked to at least have an in-universe explanation instead of this just happening. Because until I read that information, I thought they changed him just because they thought the audience didn't like him much in season two. In short, I thought it was a needless retcon and became upset when there was no explanation for the change. If the behind-the-scenes stuff was a big enough deal that they wanted to change him like this without in-universe explanation...I might've preferred them just not using him at all. Then again, the season's not over. So I guess it's a little unfair of me to assume anything yet.

Anyways, that's all just my opinion. Feel free to share your thoughts or tell me why you think I'm being too dramatic about Hunter, haha. I feel like I'm one of very few season-two-Hunter enjoyers, so I'm not expecting that to be a super popular take. I'm just mopey that he changed, I guess.

[masked-and-doomed]

NEW ME NEW INTRO!!

Hello, I'm Kat/Kats (or Yomotsu), welcome!! I am so normal about my boyfriends.

Other places you can find me:

@katsdoodles - art blog/archive.

Discord: thatonekats

👆 just in case. Tumblr explodes. Talk to me if you wanna ig (I am not good at conversing. So. Keep that in mind.)

Ao3: ThatOneKat2

👆 Might as well have it here. I've been more in a writing mood this year.

--

Suspected BPD, have been diagnosed autistic. I will feel things very intensely either forever or feel nothing about it in the next hour max. You may see vent posts. Every now and then. Check the tagging system to block em out.

I am deeply in love and sickly affectionate for 4 men. They're my boyfriends, girlfriends, besties- our relationship? Is uhh whatever man. It's love. It's love. (Also not the best fathers but hey I take what I can get)

First two being Yomotsu Hirasaka (pfp), and Takao Hiyama. They are my most intense hyperfixation of 2 years.! They are from Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. An anime/manga which I don't really like.

The next beloved is Pocketcat! He is from Fear and Hunger. He's. A silly :) There's so much intrigue of him aaaghhh ough he is so sad.

Last one !! Faust. From Guilty Gear. He's a. He's somebody. Got him on Valentine's Day. He makes me a different kind of ill. Alas, this doctor cannot cure me.

They're 💙 just like me fr. I love them. URL is them btw. Masked men, doomed.

(comfortable with sharing and gushing together with everyone. I don't mind if you send or @ me in stuff that has Faust shipped with someone, (I like appreciating art of Faust in any form :] ) just know I'm uncomfy with all (canon x canon) Faust ships except Happy Chaos)

--

I do block on some criteria but I will not disclose it. So, you may get blocked by me for something, and you will never know. (Followers only)

(if we're mutuals and you block me, I'd like to know the reason why. Not a requirement.)

--

Yayaya tagging system time!

#ah rambling - general yapping tag

#[MN/funger] rambling - ramblings of MN or funger

#[MN/funger] bangers - memes/shitposts of that fandom

#oc time - posts about the little OCs I have

#unnamed girlie - posts about my self insert. (UG for short)

#guy in my head - headcanon posts

#doodle tag - stuff not high effort enough to put into my art blog goes here

#reblog moment - reblogs! So you can filter them out

#lovesick - yandere / obsessive behaviour

#gatito - kitty tag.

#belalang beloveds - grasshopper tag. Belalang is grasshopper in Malay :)

#art save - images I wanna draw (typically memes I wanna draw with my guys)

#art reference material - reblogs of posts with helpful art stuff

#general reference material - reblogs of posts with whatever that isn't art. Not really 'general' perse but I don't have another word

#epic meowtual art - art by the meowtuals!

#ask game - reblogs of ask game posts

#ask game answer - answers to asks abt the ask game

#hello asker - ask tag

#tag game - reblog of posts that are meant to have you tag other ppl to continue the chain

#negative. And #/negative are used for vent posts. Make those sometimes.

#hxrny aroace on main - (mind the x) epic posts where I feel feelings for some characters (carnally)

#fanfic shit idfk - posts related to fanfics I'm reading (or something like that)

#shit I send to fictional guy - posts I'd send to fictional characters. Will prob have their name tagged too.

#unnamed oc core - wow it's just like him fr. Many things will be tagged this btw. They are not okay. (Same person as UG jsyk)

#pocketkitty - for posts I don't want in the pocket.cat tag or reblogging posts that are like pocket.cat. (only applies to him everyone else gets tagged with their name in posts that are like them)

#robot nephew - similar to pocketkitty just that it's. Mr robo.t K.y

#silly doctor man - I fell into gui.lty g.ear and now I'm in love with this bozo. When I don't want it to be in the main tag. Yes like pocketkitty and robo bo.

#mister omelette - guy that asks which came first the chicken or the egg. Answers himself, it's omelette.

Liveblog tags:

--

Guilty gear: #pride in my gears: sign, #pride in my gears: rev, #pride in my gears: overture

Tag me in stuff you think I like!! I don't mind! Or like tag games.

There's also a *cough cough* side blog. For degenerate thoughts of mine. If you want it just give a DM ig.

That's all for now!! Have fun!!

[dimonds456]

Howdy!

I'm Dimonds456, and welcome to my garbage pile. I'm a bat who stays up way too late and cannot decide whether or not to be productive. I draw, write, animate, play/write music, and I'm also insane so watch out for that.

I'm neurodivergent, disabled, queer, white, a singlet, fictionkin, and a proud cat papa. I am a cartoon character who is way too bouncy for their own good lol.

They / he / xe!

This is my main blog, but my ADHD ass also has a bunch more.

@dimonds456-art - my art blog! Almost all art gets rbed there!

@dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai - my HLVRAI sideblog! Because yeah why not. This is one of me current hyperfixations lol it's bad

@rubberhose-roy is my sideblog used to gush about 1920's-40's aesthetics, music, culture, ect., as well as an animation blog! All my animations specifically will be reblogged there, as well as any animation rambles or gushes I do.

I have more but those are the main three.

My fandom-specific blogs are:

@dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai (again)

@hlvrai-stuck-together - HLVRAI AU I run!

@halfnautica - Half Life / Subnautica AU!

@a-second-chance-su-au - Old SU AU that has been discontinued, but the blog is still there!

@batim-rewritten - a Bendy and the Ink Machine rewrite I'm working on

@cuphead-contract-au - A Cuphead AU where Mugman makes a deal (discontinued)

And, I have my own OC story, Follychromatic! I reblog all that stuff here, but its main blog is here!

@follychromatic

To see pictures of my cat, check the #Checkers tag! :D

Okay great. Now, DNI, trigger warnings, disabilities, special interests, and more below the cut. Make sure you read at least once, k? Thanks.

Welcome to my cave!

DNI

Trigger Warnings

Do not FUCKING interact if you are:

- A proshipper

- A bigot

- An LGBTphobe / transmed / ect

- Trump supporter

- Nazi / fascist / conservative

- Weird about furries or furry art

- Weird about fandom headcanons (specifically trans woman headcanons)

I will add more if anyone wants me to, or we can come up with a custom tag, like what I do for one of my friends! (#dimond don't look)

I will tag as much as I can, and if you want me to tag something specific, let me know! But as a general blog cover, things that appear on this blog often are:

- Current events

- Talk of / discussion of sexuality (sometimes boardering on NSFW but not usually)

- Blood

- Guns

- Flashing

- Talk of proshippers (I try to be respectful but also I don't stand for them and I don't support them. I block and move on, and try to explain why proship is bad, but eh. I've only been listened to like once lol)

- Swearing / swear words

- All caps

- Bugs

- Suggestive content / NSFW (RARE DONT WORRY)

DISABILITIES

Hiiii I'm disabled! Both mentally and physically. I talk about being disabled a lot and try to generate positive talk about it. I also vent about it. I've had quite a few of these, and I also try to reblog as much about others I don't have as I can to increase awareness and understanding. So yeah! These are just the ones I have, but they are not the only ones that appear on my blog!

Hyperthyroidism

Graves Disease

Graves Eye Disease

Astigmatism

Athsma

Audio processing disorder

ADHD

Autism

Trauma / PTSD

Brain fog / disassociation / memory loss

Anxiety

Depression

Cane user

Weak / trembling limbs / trouble walking / trouble holding onto things sometimes

More to be added lol.

This is also a meds/treatment positive blog, a self-diagnosis positive blog, and my general attitude is just "if you think something is wrong you're probably right, you know yourself the best, even if you don't know what exactly is wrong." This attitude has saved my life and other people I know. You don't need a diagnosis or medication to be disabled.

THIS IS A SAFE SPACE.

If you are Jewish, black, brown, Muslim, indigenous, any religion, any race, any sexuality, any weird gender, anything at all- I love and support you. I'm still learning, and I try to learn as much as I can, but I'm not perfect. If I say something offensive or something adjacent, it was NOT on purpose. PLEASE, PLEASE tell me what I said wrong. I will make an effort to improve in the future.

I directly support:

- All races

- All religions*

- All sexualities (except pedos, y'all aren't LGBT, I'm sorry. You're actively hurting children. I've seen it again and again. Stop.)

- All genders and pronouns

- All "weird" identities outside of that as well (I'm fictionkin myself)

- Protests and protesters

- Neurodivergent people of all types (and yes, this means NPD, schizo, and all those other types that are often seen as bad or evil. I love you, I see you, and I support you.)

- DID & OSDD systems

If I have reblogged or said anything that aligns with the bottom list, that was a mistake. PLEASE let me know and I will fix it as fast as I can. You reading this right now, I love you. I hope my blog can help you feel welcomed and like you have somewhere to go if you need it. /gen

I DO NOT support:

- Antisemitism

- Genocide

- Cults (*stuff like Jehova's Witnesses. I support the members, as they are victims, but I actively dislike the people on top who perpetuate the cycle. Not just JWs, but those are the big ones who come to mind. Hearts out to all the victims, I hope everyone gets to a better place soon)

- Racism in any way, shape, or form

- Religious discrimination of any way, shape, or form

- Israel specifically

- Trump, conservatives, Nazis, ect.

- Endo systems

MY FANDOMS / INTERESTS

I HAVE ADHD AND AUTISM AND I'M MAKING THAT EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM /silly

The current special interests are HLVRAI and Half Life, current hyperfixations are Half Life and Poppy Playtime.

SPECIAL INTERESTS:

- Minecraft

- HTTYD

- FNaF

- Undertale / Deltarune

- BATIM / BATDR (unfortunately)

- Subnautica

- Biology

- Steven Universe

- Cuphead

- 2D Animation

- Writing

- HLVRAI

- Half Life

theres more but my brain is an egg :/

HYPERFIXATIONS (interests but not the special ones):

- Little Nightmares

- Hello, Neighbor (unfortunately)

- Petscop

- Portal

- Freemanverse (HELP ME)

- The Amazing Digital Circus

- The Owl House

- Gravity Falls

- Monster High (very first from what I can remember! I remember nothing though! But it's there!)

- Poppy Playtime

- Half Life

- Wild Kratts (I didn't even know there WAS a fandom until very recently, hi guys)

When it comes to ✨me,✨ I have a couple of original works as well! Specifically, Follychromatic! I won't get too into it here (bc shy) but it's 2D animation, rubberhose animation, magic, character-driven, action/adventure, mystery- yeah!

Outside of fandom, though, my special interests are biology, 2D animation, and writing. I am an animator and I suffer for fun.

YOU MADE IT! Have some Checkers for your time! :)

[huebris808]

trying to break out of my shell and post madcom hc shit aka Look At My One Of Many Weirdass Hank Ramblings, Boy

hank you know them. they're six-foot-something and wanted to try volleyball. they dont get sarcasm and refer to stuff as "thingys". they're the autistic power fantasy of throwing bricks at those who view you as subhuman. their bedroom's apparently just a mirror to practice cool poses with and a blanket and their favorite drink is eggs now according to the streams. and they are your new nonbinary president

im constantly fluctuating between Animation & MPN Are Two Different Timelines/Universes or They're The Same, But He’s Testing Which "Hank" Is More Favorable/Useful To Others

wasian hank truther baby. (jp+filipino-american)

this guy would probably use わたし/私 (ive seen a lot of artists use オレ/俺 for him though but i feel like its a bit?? much)

definitely had to pick up sign-language after [Vague Gesturing] All That

has autism in the way that they have No Clue they got it. like "damn i got [Specific Autistic Issues]. sucks that im so so normal and yet i must endure The Problems everyday"

speaking of autism, enjoys confined spaces sensory-wise. vents and boxes and shit like Come On Man. Do You See The Vision.

gonna be honest like half of the shit (Understatement) i got for hank is projection but what's madcom without that in some aspect!! that's the POINT man!!! [ON KNEES WAILING] that's the POINT

working in real estate and as a mercenary since The Incident made their self-worth go to SHIT; in a world that dehumanizes you, you are quick to dehumanize yourself. this is where the power of lesbian friendship comes in

subconsciously puts doc on a pedestal over time, leading to (See Bullet 1); this dissipates after they somehow reach a conversation of Bitch We Are Both Equals And Fighting For Our Fucking Lives Out Here THEY SOLVE SHIT TOGETHER MAN!!! THEY SOLVE IT

sorry. sorry. im trying to delete it

out of nowhere maybe its the Autistic Projection maybe its cause im allergic to Sadstuck Shit i dont dig negative stuff with 2bhank it just feels Wrong :-( i wish i could word this better but like. i need these little chesspiece fucks to learn to communicate

what i will refer to as the Newspaper Era (aka the time before we got doc characterization from arena mode) caused people to make some weirdass depictions of their relationship and im glad its phasing out. The Horrors

main 4 are all butch lesbians btw. not sorry about that one

also POLYCOMBAT TRUTHER this dude would HATE how vulnerable these three would make them feel at first. they're the first to actually treat him like A Guy and that fuck him up a bit initially

i think eventually they all reach a point where they're able to do stupid shit together like fireworks or breaking chairs over each other heads. you've seen how doc is don't exclude him from doing dumbass shit

"erm… actually they wouldnt be friends or have fun or date theyre ruthless criminals and madcom is cruel :/" L + ratio + the rule of The Funniest Thing Is The Answer in madcom prevails + That's The Devil Talking, Boy

shit at technology. if they had a blog their lack of skills would loop back around to make them the most powerful shitposter on earth

there's definitely more that im missing here and takes that Don't Suck (for example people need to put out more hankford content. Cmon Man) but my brain has this shit Queued Up in a way so. Yeah

[candyskiez]

Alright, new intro post, let's go.

I'm Candy, I use they/them exclusively unless we're friends. I'm candyskiez on ao3, here's where I post wips, reblog shit, ramble, and also talk about Life Shit. I love asks, feel free to send them as much as you'd like! My main interests are mp100, toh, she ra, and steven universe, but I talk about other things as well.

I'm a system and I'm pro endo. If that bothers you, you don't have to follow or interact with me.

Sideblogs:

@sunflowersoap - Omori account

@artmemeprompts - Drawing and writing prompts archive

@candyscry - Original non fandom writing

Tags under the cut:

#candyskiez vents - Vents

#wip wednesday - A writing game I take part in a lot

#candyskiez oc bs - My original characters

#confession arc tag - Posts about a specific arc in mp100 that I love a lot

#separation arc tag - Same as the above. There are now many tags structured like this with different mp100 arcs. They are all basically the same thing.

#plural mob - Posts about Mob being a system, pretty self explanatory

#friend spotted / #mutual spotted - mutuals and friends shenanigans

#❓ #☄️ #💛 #⭐ #💗 #🐈‍⬛ #🔥 #🟢 - Alter tags, for when they want to add something or are little shits and decided not to post to their own damn accounts /lh

There will probably be more added overtime 👍

[zephsthings]

intro post !!!

hi! i'm zeph (a.k.a. zephie//zephania//star), i'm 19 and a brit (unfortunately my irish heritage is not strong enough to count as fully irish lol :<)

my pronouns are she/they/them, i'm a genderfluid/demigirl, (i vibe with both those labels) and a panromantic demisexual :3

these are the fandoms i am currently involved in:

waterparks (the band)

httyd

b99

psych

the dragon prince

the mentalist

bones (tv)

probably some others i cannot think of atm (will add later haha)

i love to draw, write, read, (i'm an english nerd, sue me - literally studying english lit & creative writing hahaha) and i cannot survive a single day without listening to music :D

more info under the cut ->

i also really really really love space. please send me space stuff. it is my main special interest at the moment - yes, i am autistic !!! there are many other Things Wrong With Me (OCD, tRaUmA & cPTSD, insomnia, etc... yippee jackpot)

feel free to send me asks or just chat to me! i'm very friendly :3 ask me about space, about my interests, music, OR MY BLORBOS !!! my ocs from my current wip i am writing (jonah, aliya, ben, olivia) are my babies and i am always happy to talk about writing, whether that be yours or mine !!!

i don't really have a DNI but if you piss me off best believe i will be using that block button :))) obviously this works both ways ;)))

i do vent a lot. sometimes in writing (poems, stories) sometimes in drawings, sometimes more explicitly. i am in recovery. i go to therapy. i have support, so PLEASE don't worry about me, i am FINE i am just DRAMATIC (it's the tortured poet within me) -- if this is not something u want to see, block me !!! it's okay, no hard feelings - your mental health is important <3

so yeah, that's all for now! have fun on my blog and stay safe online babies love u <3

am i the (gloom) boy you dreamed of?

(( my ramblings are always tagged "zeph just stfu", and friend tags are "[name] shenanigans" <3 ))

[thetechypurpletwin]

★EVERYTHING TO KNOW ABOUT US!!★

WELCOME TO MY BLOG extremely nice to meet you!

I am an alter in a system, so everything I post here will be mostly based on source memories but improv/fictional/rp stuff might be involved :D

ASK BOX IS OPEN!!! SEND US ASKS PLEASE WE LOVE THEM

I decided to make this blog because I wanted my own place separate from our host account to just do my own little thing. Decided to organize some stuff just in case with tags:

ALTERS:

While I may be the sole owner of this blog, there are three other alters who are in our system as well, Mikey, Leo and Raph! They're too lazy to make a blog for themselves. There are other alters as well and you may see them from time to time but this is mostly turtle blog.

I am still the “main owner” of this blog though so let’s start with me!

#donnie txt: all posts that feature me, Donnie, speaking

Donnie Info: any pronouns, bisexual/demiromantic

A tech genius who spends way too much time online and needs reminders on stuff like eating and sleeping. Favorite game is ace attorney but keeps on forgetting to play it

Nicknames: Cosmos, Don, DonTron

#mikey txt: all posts that feature lil bro Mikey speaking (<3)

Mikey Info: he/she, pansexual

Artist who is a shining light in this world. May or may not be slightly unhinged. Favorite game is Splatoon.

(author note: wtf I can hear him giggling im scared)

Nicknames: micheal, angelo, annoying little shit /j

#leo txt: all posts that feature my twin Leo speaking (unfortunately :p /j)

Leo Info: @theprettybluetwin he/they, gay (hehe that rhymes)

the man, the myth, the legend and is also bald. wears a bow with long tails cause he’s just that cool

nicknames: fizzy, nardo, leon, neonleon

(Donnie note: Leo’s a bit of a gacha addict so ask him about project seki or Honkai star rail or CRK they’ll be happy to answer)

#raph txt: all posts that feature our biggest brother Raphie :D speaking Raph Info: he/she/any, demiromantic animal lover and plays stardew valley in her free time

I’m finally here so I can put my own description: hi i’m raph and i like cute things like my melody :) i love wearing bows and obviously my fav color is red :D I don’t front as much as the others but i’m still here watchin

OTHER TAGS:

#donnie ramblings: where I infodump/ramble about random things I'm interested in

#donnie art: whenever I feel like posting my art, it will be here! might also double as "selfie time" so I can draw what I look like compared to my source

#ask a donnie: all posts that are me answering asks/asking for asks (lol) you can ask about our system, my favorite stuff, even ask for story prompts i love story prompts

#mikey art: mikey’s art, I forgot to make her an art tag

#ask a mikey: asks answered by mikey!

#leo ramblings: he’s up and awake and ready to talk your head off about a character they like. Brace yourself (aka Leo shitpost corner)

#ask a leo: asks answered by leo!

#leo gaymes: im gaming gamer boi gayming

#ask a raph: asks answered by raph!

#raph corner: raph’s corner where she talks about cute things and games

#arc: crystallized: :) (TBD)

And more to be determined(?)!

BOUNDARIES:

★We are all under the age of 18, including the body! So please don't send asks or posts asking to date us, even if you are the "same age". Compliments like "you are so pretty/handsome" are welcomed though!

★NO NSFW/T//EST

★No venting in ask boxes please! I don't mind giving comfort to my close friends but if I don't know you its extremely uncomfortable :c

★ Please refrain from talking about the kraang as much as possible. We’re willing to answer some questions but the memories we have are painful :)

★please don’t ask me about usagi. he seems like a pretty cool dude but I’ve never known him. that also goes for any other characters that get shipped with my brothers, none of us remember dating anyone

If we want to add any boundaries in the future, I will do my best to edit this post!

And yes, I was inspired by other rottmnt ask blogs but I do not wish to copy off of them! Like I said, we just want to be able to interact through the world feeling like ourselves, and if you say our personalities are fake or copied it will make us feel sad :c

[writhingleviathan]

Welcome to the wet, endless caverns underneath the forgotten world.

My name here is Bass But, if you know me by another name, you could use those too. [in a different name for most blogs mood] A 20-year-old queer butch man with the pronouns (He/They/It).

I do art [usually post things that I don't feel fits on others or just sketches] Mainly here to ramble about meanless stuff. Great liking to horror and the macabre, with a conflict between wanting to be sweet or to be the most heinous thing alive. In short, this blog contains my vents, art, and weird/dark stuff, you've been warned.

More about me, I'm nonhuman and would like to be not referred as such. The closet label I got is otherkin for what my nature of my nonhuman-ness. My main kin is the Leviathan, those I do flip back and forth if I am The Leviathan or A Leviathan. It really stems from this life I'm in, I was at lest from what I feel and think was support to be a rabbit. My other two past live I know distantly was a woman in a war of some short and, Aurochs bull my first life I remembered and a turning point to where I am.

In that same note, I'm a spiritualist with no real label that does not follow a god or devil, just a connection to the earth and respect to the universe. Though with that I do talk about religion I don't have the greatest relationship with, it complected...

As my old bio said, Doc Ock and Alfred Molina is a quite sizeable piece of this blog with this tag [💕]. I might get more comfort able and talk about others that I have odd connections to but that rare.

Other tags I use a lot is Lev.txt [for me talking], Lev.art well... for art, ❤️‍🩹 for blood. Might add more, idk.

DNI

I'm keeping this short and sweet no demonizing mental illness nor sexualizing it, none of this empath shit, ED or related, not sexual age regression, ddlg, well for cnc it's mostly always a no but, there's a thin line I will allow. There is the obvious stuff like terfs, ablists, any form of needless hate. This list here is just my comfort and keep out questionable people. Though it's all a case by case basis I'm not afraid to block if I don't like you on my blog and don't care if you block me, I much prefer that if you don't like what is here.

Other things are that I don’t care if you like/reblog spam, I do the same at times. If you want to talk or want to ask a question to me, I’m open to that, though it might take a bit to get an answer.

[dorkydreamer]

Yesterday, on my main blog, an anon called me out for sending myself asks and for not having anyone interested enough to ask me questions. I'm embarrassed, but not ashamed of doing it. I thought it was actually refreshing that I could send myself asks so I tried it out. It helped me just ramble about some silly things that were bothering me and I was excited about. I could have just posted as a text post because it wouldn't have been any different, but I didn't. And that's where anon was right about calling me out.

Anon is under the impression that people don't actually care about me to send me asks? Why would they when they dm me instead. I've made and have a handful of wonderful and amazing Tumblr friends (and on other social media platforms) that I appreciate with my whole heart and whom I talk to on a daily/weekly basis who always tell me that it's okay to vent to them if I need to. I just - it's difficult for me to vent to someone about something as silly as being triggered by my family members. I chose instead to send myself asks and just talk to myself. It felt good.

I'm not ashamed of what I did to keep myself sane.

That being said, I should have just vented everything here or on my main. It wouldn't have really mattered where. That's why I'm embarrassed about it but then I'm like, whatever. It was pathetic, and I'll let anon believe them thinking that no one cares enough about me 😊😊

I'm super grateful for everyone who is currently in my dms being my friend, those who have reached out to offer an ear (it's weird for me to just message you my worries. I want to be a positivity moot and talk about randomness instead. ), and those in the future who will become my friend. I'm sorry I find it difficult to reach out. I usually always wait for a dm.

Despite being outed for sending myself asks, I actually am so grateful that happened because

1. I'll grow from this. Just text post it next time, or come to this blog and do what I'm doing. Talk to myself. I can do the same thing on my main, but it will still be okay whichever way I decided to go.

And 2. I got to express why I tag said posts "the most beautiful girl out there" and "gorgeous hot mess". Because she's my friend or was a friend.. I don't know anymore. who allowed me into her life and I got to experience so much more than her blog. Yes, she's stubborn, difficult, frustrating, stoic, as heck. Sometimes I don't even know if she has a soft spot, but then I understand that maybe I am not and was not privileged to experience that side of her. And that's okay. Sometimes.. I wished she'd tell me that she appreciated my friendship every now and then. It would have helped me feel wanted in their life and kept me going. But I realized or questioned myself.. did I make my friendship with them more than what it actually was? Was this more of an unrequited friendship? Obviously, it's my fault if so. But I actually thought I mattered or was one of their closest friends. It's okay if not. That's on me. That's why I appreciate when people remind me that they care about me and appreciate me. It reassures me I'm a good thing in their life. I don't feel like she ever did that and that's what hurts me the most the more I have to think about it.

I hurt her by not giving her a heads up when I decided to delete my Snapchat to take a break late Feb — I just needed out I was dealing with an ex that took advantage of my forgiveness and it left me feeling unwanted and unimportant.

I didn't know that it would bother her as much as it did and I apologized already for it. I reassured her at first that I just needed time for myself and that she didn't do anything wrong, which she didn't, but then I felt bad because as a couple of weeks had passed and I had this horrible feeling in my stomach that I abandoned, betrayed, and hurt her. Now that's something I was ashamed of. Feeling like I neglected my best friend. All because I couldn't block someone I forgave. Childish, irresponsible, inconsiderate, and disrespectful. I love her. Always will. But I destroyed that and her trust in me and I will always be remorseful. I felt rude to reach out to her so I always waited for her to message me so I could ecstatically talk to her. Sigh. None of that matters anymore. I'll keep tagging her as such until she tells me to not do it. I remember her telling me that it was okay to do so or that she would tell me if something bothers her so I'll leave that as such.

The point is, if you truly got to know the other side of her, well the one I got to experience because I'm not saying that's all of her, but yes, the side I also got to experience, you would see that she's truly a wonderful human being. And I will always be grateful for having met her and be able to consider her my friend and best friend. I will always root for her happiness.

But distance and silence bonds nothing and it hurts that she seems to be okay with us not talking to each other anymore, but I can only accept the consequences of my actions. I'm still and will always remain soft and thankful for them. 😊😊😊

Edit: THEY DON'T AND WILL NEVER OWE ME ANYTHING. this is just me lamenting a sense of negligence I felt towards dealing with my ex and others. It's okay, that's on me for misunderstanding our friendship and not really communicating with them my situation and how I was feeling at the time. They are a super duper amazing person who deserves the best.

SIGH.

this was good. 😊😊