#there's no room for rumination | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

v-iv-rusty · 2 years

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I think the best way I've found to deal with intrusive thoughts (at least at night when I'm trying to sleep and they won't let me) is to listen to music but like. specifically to focus everything on feeling the shapes of the notes in such a way that prevents any thought from occurring at all, if that makes any sense

#misc.txt #that sounds weird when I type it out but notes and sounds and different instruments have different shapes and textures. you know #if I can do the hearing equivalent of rubbing my hands all over the notes and focusing on how each one feels and flows into the next #there's no room for rumination #actually is this just grounding myself. did I teach myself a grounding exercise with skyrim tavern music 10 hour mix #hm #anyway trying to teach myself that I do not have to solve every problem and answer every question and think about every topic all the time #I swear it feels like physical pressure in my skull and it makes me feel legitimately ill. ridiculous. can we just chill out for like 5 min #if my brain was a little guy standing in front of me I would beat the absolute shit out of him bare handed and It would feel so so good

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cubbyhole-for-flea-bee · 2 months

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Apologies

#shadowpeach #six eared macaque #sun wukong #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkey king #liu'er mihou #I just think it'd be neat if they apologized to each other and then cried and hugged about it #(cuz on god they both have some shit they should get off their chests and own up to)#like holy blue hells they're both just like “I think i shall spend my immortal life ruminating on my greatest regret and letting it fester”#everytime i watch the scene where Macaque is like:#“its good to talk about feelings! obv i don't do it”#i turn into the hands on hips guy meme #DUDE GO TO THERAPY #wukong too lets be real #been reading jttw the west (haven't actually gotten to where SEM shows up in the book yet tho)#and i think that if therapy existed back then tripitaka and sha wujing would've been gently but firmly #herding wukong into the local therapist's waiting room in as many towns they pass as possible #he'd probly grab the door frame and have to be literally pried off #these hypothetical ancient-chinese therapists all have claw marks on the hallways and doors going into their offices #hey how about an au where shadowpeach get therapists who end up getting all the monkey drama news first #and end up on the business-rivals-to-drinking-buddies pipeline #stopped while drawing this like “hey why'd i make mac be touching wukong's face in both sketches?”#and then i remembered that between the two mac's the one who wants to be something to the other #to the point of desperation #its like if they're both cats who got coned swk is the one who sits there miserably accepting his fate #while mac is that one video of the tuxedo cat shrieking and trying to paw it off #i'd read the hell out of a fic where they end up swapping attitudes about their dynamic #in canon wukong's the one who seems like he would like to never see mac again (at times) even tho he really regrets it and it hurts #like mac just gives up on trying to convince himself he can make swk see him as a significant part of his life again

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fullsaw · 2 months

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Echo VN spoilers -

Ghosts don't exactly exist in the echo universe but remants of those who died can come back and become congealed with the agony and loss that already exists in the area

When flynn "talks" to "sydney" what he is really talking to is the leftovers of what sydney was, his hopes and aspirations being used as a conduit for the town itself to reel flynn in and use his body as the perfect vessel

When flynn becomes that vessel, hes no longer flynn: hes samuel, sydney, flynn and all of those who died in any previous hysteria

When "sam" manipulates chase its not sam, but instead a mix of sam and whatever he's become posthumously when he became part of the town itself

Even in death the residents cannot escape the cycle and are forever immortalized as literal echos of what they once were

#echo vn spoilers #im not over it #im not completely caught up (havent played arches or finished smoke room) but i love ruminating on it #echo project #echo vn #flynn moore #sydney bronson #samuel ayers #chase hunter

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bogkeep · 1 year

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is it really plausible that i, a bundle of neuroses barely held together with duct tape, could have Anxiety for real

#Surely Not #idk im still ruminating on the possibility #i think i really badly internalised the 'anxiety is a very real and debilitating illness and not just a cutesy thing to add to your brain C #and went Ok So I Definitely Don't Have It Then despite having anxiety as a feeling deeply embedded in my entire body my entire life #i also think our elementary school teacher read us a book about a kid with a mom that had anxiety so bad she never left her room #and that was my exposure to it #along with the general autism experience of 'the thing you're describing doesn't sound so bad you can definitely handle it'#i personally think i handle all my brain garbage just fine #but there's a lot of it. i just live like this?#every time i hear someone kick a ball i flinch a little because i expect it to hit me in the head. that's maybe not normal

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marnz · 7 months

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started reading Giovanni’s Room and I am honestly bereft, even though I haven’t even finished the first chapter. It’s so beautiful and so honest and insightful and so devastating 😭 Baldwin is such a beautiful writer!!!!!

#currently #giovanni’s room #in awe of how he is like ‘in ten pages I shall cover internalized homophobia & shame & toxic masculinity & alcoholism’#done in such a beautiful way…it is kind of like you are sitting with the narrator at a bar late at night and he is morosely confiding in you #and it’s so realistic bc who hasn’t ruminated on their tragedies and parents late at night?????#au of Giovanni’s room modern day is like. the narrator is saying all the same stuff but he is also #laying down in the dark listening to how to save a life by the fray

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kellyscabin · 3 months

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I pinky promise to go back to posting a stupid crazy amount of amvs……. 1 more week of work……

#I’m planning I’m ruminating I’m pacing around rooms while listening to music……. don’t worry……..

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butteryunlikelylady · 1 month

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men say and do such awful things and don’t even understand or care how it affects you

#then they’ll turn around and call you dramatic or sensitive when you start crying or trying to tell them how it hurt you #I’m fucking sick of ruminating on this but I just want to be able to inflict on him half of what he inflicted on me #mine #SB chronicles #and I’m still sitting here in my room missing him and the time we spent together #I miss being at his house and going literally anywhere with him #I miss the sex and doing it every chance we got #I miss him eating me out every chance he got #I miss going out for delicious dinners #I miss driving around with him #I miss when he used to look at me like he’d do anything for me #I miss when he used to cuddle me all the time in bed or on the couch #why did he have to turn out to be a monster…

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skunkes · 11 months

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there is something about how ive given talon all my death woes, as well as one that would only apply to a long living being like him. Something about how he doesn't form bonds anymore because non vampires don't Stay. Something about how ive inserted myself into an world with him and I myself will also leave him behind one day. (Though i guess he'll go with me, but there's also a chance that whenever It Happens he'll still be around in the minds of some as an idea...)

#talkys #im fighting off another death rumination panic attack at yet another funeral #too many in the past few years #he was actually born in the wake (lol...) of my spiral into unhealthy death fixation and rumination #which he also has as a part of his whole being #he came back to my brain at such a good time... i really need him rn #anyway. funeral slideshows always make me cry #and then i have nowhere to look bc the Body is in the room with us #i keep feeling dread. all ive been experiencing is the d**ths 🧿 of people ive not been close to #and just remembering they were People leaves me crying until i cant see #idk if ill make it through any death of an immediate family member once it comes (🧿🧿🧿)#sorry i made this post to distract me but it didnt matter #it doesnt help that he looked so much like my dad....#OK IVE CALMED DOWN A LITTLE FOR NEOW 👍

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stabbingandorbeingstabbed · 6 months

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sleeping in my childhood bedroom for the first time since i moved out is it supposed to feel this bad and fucked up or is this just a me thing lmaooo

#it's been 6 months my mom has completely redecorated the room and low key it makes me want to cry !!#when i was stuck here i wanted nothing more than to get out and now im out and like #miss how uncomplicated it was #now i have to look for a place of my own when my lease is up and it's like. i don't want to do that im terrified of living on my own !!!#i'm turning 32 and i still feel like i need my parents within arms reach like when will it end when will i feel like a capable grown upppppp #anyways. easter ruminations <3

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mabelsguidetolife · 1 year

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i need my dad to send me pictures of miles so i can cry again while showing everyone how beautiful and sweet he was

#even the cats miss him and he avoided them because he didn’t want to scare them #he tried being friends with them first but to cats he was Big and Stinky and Scary despite just being a big galoot #which is understandable #but yeah my oldest cat was ANGRY and started pooping on the floor in different spots #lucy’s learning to feel happy again but she sleeps a lot and mopes #we cleaned his shedded fur from the floor yesterday so maybe she won’t smell his essence as much and won’t ruminate #not that i’m sure dogs do that but i think their minds are more complex than we know #in a different way of course #cats too — my youngest smallest cat luna wouldn’t stop meowing for him and she wasn’t even his buddy #he tried to approach her in my room the last night he was alive but he was bleeding from the mouth and that must have been very scary to her

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sleepygaymerdisease · 2 years

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unfollowing people over 1 annoying post thats been bothering you is actually very cool and epic

#making this post to justify my actions to myself but yayy i dont have to ruminate over a few posts. i can just say goodbye i can just do the #tumblr equivalent of walkin out of the room 👍#anis gaymer moments

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galwaygremlin · 2 years

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it’s the first “cold” day in houston and it hasn’t bothered me because this feels like september in buffalo but i did just get my nice clean blankets out of the dryer and put them on my bed and it is TOASTY and i am LOVING IT

#houston we have a problem #i was just remembering (due to something unrelated) the first few years we lived in the house i grew up in #we didn't have central heating; didn't get it until i was in high school #and the house was. a little busted #and completely unprotected from wind #and my bedroom faced the worst side of the house (the front)#basically it snowed in my room via a crack in the window hinge bit #we kept my door closed to keep the heat in the kitchen and living room #so i was sleeping in a room SIGNIFICANTLY colder than the rest of the house #froze my kindergartener butt off every night #now i can sleep in any conditions. inside outside cold hot in a bed on the floor in a chair. whatever #that is a genuinely fond memory for me #that house was such a mess and i loved it so much #ANYWAY i'm ruminating on all this from my nice cozy blanket stack in houston and i'm years and miles away from my childhood bedroom #and there's just a lot of perspective happening for me right now

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alicentry · 2 years

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@breakbcnes

She had never wanted this. This wasn’t what she had asked for. Asking for someone to be murdered was treason and the man she had assumed she could trust had twisted her words to his own benefit. She had never wanted his brother dead. Now she owed this weasel a favor in return for his deception that he had done for what he said was her will. The Queen had asked for him to be gone, to not create even more hands to her children’s possible demise. This notion was something her father had placed in her head and that had continually taken root blossoming into a full blown cancerous misconception.

#breakbcnes #you’re welcome #i went ham on this #this is all I got #lets assume this is her ruminating in the throne room hating herself

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bubbas-psych-dump · 25 days

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coming to the topic of ambition as someone who has an abundance of passion, but a lack of focus and discipline. thinking of a goal less as something you wanna do and more as a target has really helped me to focus in on what I want. and to develop more grit when grittiness itself doesn't come naturally to me. I wanna write a whole essay on this, about personality psychology and the "core" (I guess) of what makes people ambitious. I think it's that sort of "bullseye effect".

anyways, toodles

#someones probably already looked into this and Im just ruminating in my room #as per usual #and about me looking up how to become a poet lauriet #dont worry about it #it doesn't matter

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seilon · 3 months

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kind of impressed I’ve managed to space out watching an 8-episode show over the span of several days instead of binging it. it has not been easy but I think it was worth it to give me an incentive to get through work the past few days

#(most of) one episode left and im already mourning that feeling of having something to look forward to when I get home every day rip #I was planning on watching it tonight but im also considering if maybe I should wait til tomorrow for that reason #cause I don’t have work today so it doesn’t feel like I’ve Earned it #and moreover like I said it’d give me one more day of that Incentive……..#I’ll probably watch it tonight anyway but……………yea……………..everyone who’s desperately pleading for a season 2 i understand now #kibumblabs #side note. as inconvenient as it seemed at first I think one thing that helped me not binge it all at once was the fact that i have to #watch it on the tv in my room (that i pretty much never use) and can’t watch it on my laptop or anything which would make it more accessible #because im using my friend’s netflix acc which i only have access to through his playstation acc on my ps4 #that is LITERALLY the only reason I’ve been able to watch this show fhdjjchemd #but yeah so i have to be at home. ready to sit down and watch an episode with my dinner or whatever. lights off sound up etc #cant just be chillin in my bed and decide to turn it on no no i have to PREPARE. i have to be READY #im making it seem more difficult than it really is but nonetheless the point still applies it really has helped maintain the excitement #longer than it would’ve lasted otherwise #what do I do after this……….dont say fanfic ive already considered that #not sure I wanna rewatch it immediately… I’ll probably wait a little to do that. ruminate on it first. I don’t know

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wickershells · 5 months

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What makes certain music special to me is when it is made not only with/through a love of music (that’s natural) but with a love of sound, of soundscapes. When a song is lacking in something to me it’s almost always something dynamic and beating. Sounds that are not only heard, but felt, maybe even seen

#I think it’s why I love any low(er) quality recording; there’s texture there’s resonance there’s something moving beneath the beat #also a pet peeve I have with certain lyricism (though I have this distaste across all word-mediums) is focus on description through #telling rather than conveying; evoking. no clever use of connotation no room for the audience to ruminate #log

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