#theres no way theyd get me this
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sum guyz ive been thinking about for the past weeks
#i REALLY wish i get to play this#knowing my parents#theres no way theyd get me this#plus the fact u must pay to play or smth#oh well :')#cult of the lamb#cotl#leshy is there dw
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Comfortable in New Skin
#wanted to give loop some like... vague clothes. since while they dont Need to be covered... accessorising is a human right#and boy do they need some of those. one can assume the only place theyd be getting clothes is isa though. so. ponder it#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat spoilers#isat loop#loop isat#isat#lucabyteart#SPOILERS TAG BECAUSE UM. CAPTION IS UNNEGOTIABLE. SOZ#anyway i do have Even More doodles on the way. primarily about loop. predictable. a lot of thoughts on the body horror of it all.#if you were to ask me. i think loops quote unquote skin is uncannily loose when pushed or pulled in any way#almost as if it were clothes covering the skin rather than skin itself. probably feels fuzzy and vague too. as for their head?#non-solid but in the way where theres a force pushing outwards. radiating you could say. yknow. vague. undefined. not quite real#but thats just my headcanon. tee hee
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thinks about the master & the doctor cuddling thinks about them cuddling thinks about them cuddling thinks about them cuddlign thinks-
#its a vrry specific flavor of cuddling its like.#its exhausted. first of all. and its lonely.#its the kind of cuddling that starts because one of you literally flopped on top of the other and wouldnt move#and then started squirming to become an even bigger hiderance than they already were if they were being ignored#its a puppy pile of two. they are in the weirdest most uncomfortable looking positions imaginable#you look at them and you think ‘this is how glass sculptures would cuddle if glass sculptures had feelings and were touch-starved’#its a cuddle that might end with one of them putting the other in a full body lock for whatever reason. either to keep them from running#or because they had a nightmare. they do have nightmares you know. and they aren’t fun to sleep next to. the best comfort is a good defense#its the kind of cuddling where one of them is awake for too long. breathing slowly so they dont disturb their partner and staring.#memorizing. taking note of every difference since last time.#its the kind of cuddling where even if you walked in on them at a point where while they were asleep theyd scooted apart and weren’t#touching anymore. you’d still notice that they’re practically mirror images. curled up the same way and facing each other. until one of them#kicks in their sleep and disturbs the illusion. but still.#you get me?#and also theres biting.
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sorry for the influx of darcy heartstopper posts its just that her arc in s2 is about how she doesnt think shes lovable and that she can't and won't ever come out to her parents for her own safety but she still somehow manages to be happy ., and i think it may have gotten to me a little bit
#came home from that gay art program a couple days ago back to my Closet where i have to go by my deadname and she/her pronouns because even#though i felt safe there theres no way i could possibly come out to my parents not bc theyre like darcys in that theyd kick me out its just#that theyd say things about me forever and they wouldnt be positive#but i know its possible for me to be queer and happy and loved bc that art program exists and i was there for a month and i was the happies#ive ever been#but the rest of the year i dont feel lovable and safe and i go out and try to be happy anyways . im just kinda waiting for the day when i D#get to be happy and feel loved and safe and be openly queer with my parents hundreds of miles away from me#it will happen#darcy gives me hope for myself in case you couldnt tell .#the overdue asteroid strikes again#heartstopper#darcy olsson#heartstopper s2
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i cant keep it hidden any longer
#i get nervousss n shit about gettin character voices all wrong#i spent all of yesterday worryin about if theyd say each others first names or last names or WHAT ! idkkk#i didnt write any more than this But i rlly rlly want to#basing this over the exact types of convos me n my friend have When i watch her play granny#i say dumb shit like ooohhh shes gonna get you Or why are you so mean to this old lady😢😢😢 to rile her up🤭 cos its funny#and then when i run out of things to say i start asking shitty would you rather questions like Would you rather make out with granny#or springtrap. would u rather have to be angel dust Hazbin hotel(she HATES him) or Pinkypills william afton (also HATES)#idk how id write that for these guys. ik theres gotta be a way though#my rambles#homestuck#writing feels more vulnerable than just my silly ass drawins Cos its lettin ppl peek in2 how i think n perceive shit . its intimidatinggg#but im posting it anyways !! ill fight off the urge to delete it the best i can#sayin all this Meanwhile it’s just a few lines from a pesterlog emulator LMAO . i take myself too seriously w stuff like this#rhas my problem i think . joviality come to me NOW! i am lighthearted and carefree about rhis#yaaaayayayaaayy!!!!#FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW. GRANNY IS A SHITTY MOBILE PUZZLE HORROR GAME. THE OG !!!#all the shit like Piggy on roblox. thats copying granny 😤😤😤😡😡😡#my drabbles
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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.
On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.
#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized#to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was#i have to say#i genuinely love it here#i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing#thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me#i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6#probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women#instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women#my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep#or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant#theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao#bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes#and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine#but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh#theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times#and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake#maybe im just jaded lmao#im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario#the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in#ff6#my post#i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults#but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults#who bully each other and younger fans#and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger#maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao#also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot
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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court
#im joking#i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture#and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure#i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th#story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get#that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel#like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty#so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then#i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why#idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens#but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes#smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can#be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn#yapping#oc talk
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ok this might be a crazy thing to say but if we pretend joviers real for a minute do you think after ch6 javier ever remembered how ttheyd sleep in eachothers arms as he was trying to fall asleep all alone and just fucking broke down becauskdmmkdkmmdkjdkdkndm *gets dragged away from the keyboard forcefully*
#posting one of my more embarrassing thoughts#as an experiment#sorry sorey for being insane#anyway i need to know everything that happened with javier between the two games just in general i need to see him in distress#also i guess this whole thing depends on if you think theyd hold eachother like that or if theyre too awkward or whatever#i can imagine it being either way theres a lot of things that could change how their relationship works#to me anyway#but maybe that just means i dont know them idk man#generally tho i dont think itd be a regular thing. but maybe sometimes?#carpathians.txt#<- feel like maybe i should tag this in case someone doesnt wanna see this stuff#bc i might textpost more in the future if i get over the embarrassment. or.something
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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everyone is welcome at quinns if theyre not here to hurt anyone! you can bring toby, we have snacks for dogs too! sure i didnt know you were comin but it doesnt mean youre not allowed back! besides you cant just convince yourself youre not welcome because mr pretty prosecutor was grumpy at first! you got to dance with him and thats real rare!
and walking home together was really fun, so we should do that together again! whats the worst that could happen anyway, one of us will fall into the thames?
....mr pretty proscetutor.... thats ziggy, aint it? 'is grumpin aint wots put me in the dumps. but ta fer tryna perk me up! 🫶
pffft! if we end up takin a tumble into the thames, thatll be the end o' me! better 'ope ya can swim, cos i sure cant 😂😂
#im all fer squeezin me way in where im not s'posed to be#but i aint so keen on bein a wet blanket on peoples fun.... least not when i aint meanin to be... ya get me?#it aint a secret theres sumone else theyd rather 'ave round anyways#which is fine!! id feel the same if i wos... not me..... ya know....#sorry fer bein such a downer aven... i 'ad a proper lark i did!!!! id be up fer catchin up again soon#inspector g spillin the tea 🫡#aven
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Honestly I think its mad funny that in the Shuro/Laios au Laios’ Party think it was HIS idea. Like wait till they find out this was from Shuro like that Laios’ proximity chart about to be a family staple passed down from generation to generation, lovingly given to his fiancee.
AJABSBDBXBX 😭😭😭😭 all trust in shuro absolutely fucking lost like how could they ever have thought he was a Reasonable guy... in his defense maizuru is the one that came up with it and he's a pushover and couldn't put a stop to it fast enough. i feel like it would definitely make him more likeable to marcille tho lmao, like 1) no longer attempting to court falin but also 2) Ah, so you too have been influenced by laios....
#laios would insist that he didnt come up with it and that it was shuro/maizuru and theyre like Riiight 🙄 and pigs fly#and then they find out its true........#theyd still be like Why did u go along with this dude but i guess it would look really bad for shuro#if laios rebuffed him. i think laios would be aware of this somewhat. but also shuro is his friend =(#shuro probably is really apologetic about it and promises to sort it out dont worry im not gonna force u to marry me#just go along with it for a bit. and laios goes ok =)#theres two ways this goes. it concerns whether or not news gets out that laios and shuro are to be wed#becos like. idk if politically they want it to get out that theyre courting?#so either its kept on the down low OR it spreads. either becos shuros dad announces it#or becos they Try to keep it on the down low but rumors arnd laios get around fast#and suddenly theyre actually in hot water and have to consider what theyre doing#and shuro freaks out and they have the heart to heart on whether shuro even Wants to succeed the family#and maybe. maybe laios just goes. well. why not get married#anon#ask
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TaTr is real and good. <- have a whole story in its head that would NOT fucking happen in canon.
#show doesnt give us anything my brain fills in the gaps#itd I GUESS be an AU but in my heart and mind its real jus lemme have this#Tenn gets re encoded as a service drone after the incident with the SIR units. tallests would rather put the blame on her than admit fault.#They get sent to moo ping 10 not as a prisoner just to work there (i go back on forth on what her specific job is. BUT its low profile.)#something like a custodian. tenn takes it as best she can but she DOES have a bit of that dramatic i want to get revenge feels.#like they've just lost their mission through no fault of her own. its a difficult time for her as she starts to kinda...question things.#like the way the world (or the only one she knows) works around her. but she also knows there isnt much they can do yk.#eventually she meets Tak there. who IS there as a prisoner.#i think theyd bond over the way theyre both victims of circumstance. and how they couldnt do anything to get where they were when meeting.#but hey. maybe being at your own rock bottom isnt too bad if someone's on the same level.#one thing leads to another they start their own “resistance” BUT really it is just them chilling in space.#theres lots of gaps BUT. but....shhh lemme have this i know its corny and would NOT fucking happen but they make me giggle happy smile.#ZIM SPEAKS#oh also mimi is included too. mimi is their emotional support kitty.#kitty mimi is forever i luv her FOREVER.#also i use they/she for tenn jst so theres no confusion ^_^!
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I am sorry. I have so much work, and I am very pregnant so I just don't have time to respond to stuff on here as much (or draw, really.) Hoping I can get into a schedule soon which allows me to paint and chat more :(
#i have so little free time#i worked 12 hours today#im just tired#technically i could have been painting the last 2 hours of relaxation#but tbh i am falling asleep#i think it will calm down soon tho#ill do work work in the morning do a class then hopefully have enough left in me for cooking chores and painting/chatting#whew#idk how im going to do this with a kid#trying.... not to think about that actually#wait. no.#frustrating thing: there's no preschool around here for us#preschool in our area is only available if your family is extremely impoverished#there are for-profit daycares and they cost about $2000-$4000 a month#girl i cannot swing that lmao#sigh#i hate being in the US#everybody wants you to have kids but no one wants to do anything with them#like be fr rn no one has the fucking money for $2500/month childcare#im glad people way under the poverty line have good school opportunities but also.. why#the school mentioned many times that they can barely afford to stay open#man#so many people call them and are willing to pay#i understand why they must prioritize people that cant or theyd get pushed out#but theres obviously 1) not enough funding for that school 2) a real threat to lower income families to be able to get in if higher income#families decide to elbow them out and 3) not enough schools here#they are building another preschool which will be available to families who work at certain local businesses#but lmao.... get this... there are only 20 spots available for their preschool. 20. girl what. and it costs $2k/month.#my mom called me the other day after i texted about all this and said she could watch our kid. for $25/hour#feeling a bit cornered here. it's going to be a long 5 or 6 years until kindergarten
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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who got Pongorma pregnant.
Okay this is probably a jokey ask in relation to gorma bebys but i will give you my serious answer: i am a dedusgorma truther. i think it was dedoos :) ive got my own whole web of hcs abt it and how the evolution worked out FOR it to be possible but it was dedoos.
#THERES ANOTHER aspect of the gormabebys themselves i havent discussed and its the like. Mucus. the slime. theyd get from dedoos.#like dedus herself does not need mucus to stay moist she just retains moisture well enough and her outer outer skin doesnt need to be moist#all the time for her to be. well. just fine.#this carries into the gormabebys in that THEY CAN TOLERATE ELECTRICITY WAY MORE THAN GORMA CAN. its like. idk if its the right word but#‘insulator’ sounds right#Like it holds their own voltage very well and they can shock the shit out of you upon touch#and since theyre ittybitty they pack an extra punch!(thinking of bebby scorpions and how theyve got worse venom than adults)#asks#DHVKDHKFHDKFHDK NEVERR ASK ME ABT GORMABEBY AU! EVEN JOKKINGLY! ILL RAMBLE!#gloop thots#just for how much i talked in tags.
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shopping for dress to wear to a wedding is so stressful when u r someone who likes being overdressed to everything especially formal events but this time theres the potential of committing a horrific faux pas if i wear the wrong outfit
#mp#cant wear white or too pastel shades obv#cant wear black bc its too severe for a wedding#cant wear a style thats too skimpy bc it'll be inappropriate#i also dont actually know the ppl getting married and have never met them so theres not rlly any leeway for me to fuck up 😭#like i was looking at selkie n while their dresses r gorgeous theyd also probably be way too attention seeking to wear to a strangers#wedding#sophie antonia scott had the cutest pink velvet dress that wouldve been perfect but is now completely sold out :(#anyway if anyone knows any good places to buy dresses that r wedding suitable but not completely underwhelming pls lmk 🙏
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