#these are so stupid but theyre my favorite thing to make

[gayquack]

fresh new patho meme dump

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

my favorite thing about making self insert ocs is that 90% of the time i dont even want them to interact with canon characters. i just want them to be chillin in the world somewhere

[hecksupremechips]

Idk man I just need to hold hands with Kai Satou and I’ll be good

[doodlboy]

Om tag ramble

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

movies right now are bad because people are embarrassed of making them. like you look at shit from the 70s and 80s and they just take a weird ass concept but really commit to it. it may not be the fucking cinematic event of the year but it can be a cult classic because there is passion behind it that engages an audience. but now even if you have a good idea it just gets couched in 10 layers of irony and self deprecation for even deigning to make a movie when there are already SOOO many movies!!!1!! what else is there to say?!!1! 🤪 that any spirit it may have had, any originality it had, anything they could have actually said with it just disappears and youre left with just a husk of a story meant to be megaadversited on netflix for a week only to be watched once and never thought about again

[applejongho]

me planning on giffing jongho and then things take a turn

[mudstoneabyss]

sorry now I'm remembering all the many bad Charles takes I've seen. think my favorites the person who claimed Charles must just be manipulating and using Kevin because Kevin's all scary and scarred and injured no one would ever actually be attracted to him. ableism aside, girl I thought you liked Kevin

[queen-of-scissors]

İn sagau au, genshin,

İf you tell them you have other worlds (games) you visit they are going to call you

THE CREATOR OF THOUSAND WORLDS

İts time for my monthly brainrots with my little to no English.

They are going to give you some cool names based on your personality traits and you cant stop them. İt can be as stupid or as cool as you think they would.

For stupid ones, we have:

-you were having a stroll with Thoma, the boy who is so popular that at one point he had more fans than you (imposter au lol). When you mentioned him that you love animals he HAD to make you meet all of his stray friends. Those little guys always need some attention afterall and maybe getting the divine creators blessings will help them be more lucky in the harsh wild.

(no he is not talking about your acolytes what do you mean?)

"this one reminds me of my favorite villager from animal crossing" you mumbled, not realising he can hear you.

"Animal... What?"he said, confused.

"ah its one of the ga... worlds... İ created."

Thoma looked even more confused. Villagers? Animals??? Animal villagers???? Crossing what???

He realised how you got a bit anxious from the question so he did not pushed you to answer. Maybe it was a touchy subject for you, so you did not want to talk about your own worlds that you created.

But he did talk to others about it, people were exited to know about other worlds, let alone the worlds YOU created! Alot of people tried to understand what that world was about and maybe add the things you like about it in their own world so you will be happier in this world :D

And that is the story on how "animals' lover" became one of your titles. (Zhongli's idea, he tought it should be something that Suits your all loving heart)

-it was a nice day in your abode. Birds were chirping happily to prove your point, the gentle breeze was moving the leaves of the trees as if its dancing with them. Other than that İt was quiet... Too quiet... The realisation of how unusual for your not-so-secret-anymore hiding spot to not be filled with your acolytes and alot of noise while you would be having a nice relaxed tea is sending chills down your spine.

Oh no.. things are usually worse when theyre silent for a long time... You decide to check up on them.

Upon going back inside, it wasnt much hard to guess why they were busy not bothering you, they were on eachothers throats.

As they usually do on their free time.

The first thing you see is Nahida, trying to fix a vase that has been broken, with vines she created from her hand while Trying to desperatly make the other people in the room calm down.

You also see Zhongli and Al haitham, theyre chatting about something and you can see that the atmosphere is tense. You can feel that the only thing from keeping them from eachothers neck is the starter of the fight will look bad infront of you. What an interesting duo huh..

You see Ei, xiao and kujou sara, weapons out, chasing venti. Ah so the culprit was him. Better stop this nonsense as they might just kill the poor bard.

Your voice ecoed down your abode .

"ENOUGH"

And with that the whole caos seem to stop for a moment. Everyone in the room looks at you. Hehe, works everytime.

"Tell me what happened here" you demanded. And they told you the story you already guessed with just a glance through the room. (Poor nahida got scared the most ;;)

Venti was singing your praises, well... Mostly praises, he also used this opportunity to show off how much he is liked by you. Zhongli and Ei got angry, how dare he spit LİES and blasphemy about you and ruin your image?!

Zhongli kept his composure but it wasnt the same for Ei. Al haitham made a remark about his silance and that lead to the convertion you saw them have.

Nahida tried to stop Ei but it only fueled her more. The breaking point was when while venti was singing, and using his power to make affects, he accidently pushed over one of the most expensive ornaments, and told them you would forgive him anyways ehe.

You sighed, "why did this turn into that one scene in DDLC (doki doki litterature club) where Yuri and natsuki fight.."

"Your Grace, please tell us the truth, do you favor this bard more than us?" Ei said in desperation. But all you could see was Yuri, panicing over you not liking the poem more than the others.

Al haitham couldnt act like he didnt hear you, however, "Forgive my interruption... But what is.. DDLC?"

"DDLC... Hmmm... İ think i heard this one" Nahida speaked up. She knows???? Oh god she has been in your computer she knows....

"İf im not mistaken, İts a litterature club that is sentient. They are aware of the creators appearance from the start and theyre... Hmm.. quite friendly with your Grace"

To that, venti panics, "Y... YOU DO NOT FAVOR THEM MORE THAN US DO YOU?!?!"

You blush "WHA- N-NO?! WHAT DO YOU EVEN-"

"Could this be... That they created that world for them to be their courts?" Zhongli thought out loud, clearly more interested in the worlds purpose than the fact that you had lovers in other worlds.

"NO?! Well kinda??? bUT NO İ-" You panic, that WAS a dating simulator afterall, but you downloaded it for the spooks rather than... Well kind of that to.

You hide your face in your hands, somehow, you feel like you are being interrogated rather than interrogating them, "ima pull a sayori if this keeps up" you said between your hands.

Days later, you walk in the streets of Mondstat, and you overheard the rumbling of drunkards that are leaving cat's tail.

"Did youui knoo dat our beloved creto *hic* creted a world.. dats full of deir LOVERS?"

"Maaaannn i wish i was the creatoorr.... Having a whooolleee world as their court?! Now thats something."

"İ think we can call them.... Litterature fucker-"

....... You want to be mad.... But that was funny.

So you call yourself that now :P

Feel free to add your own :D

[insertdisc5]

this is a stupid question and there’s no reason for my sending it besides trying to understand/overcome my own anxiety/insecurity. your post on game dev software was extremely informative and seems like something you’re really passionate about. for some reason i can’t get past the idea that using premade visual novel/rpg/whatever software will be seen by others as, like, “that doesn’t count as making a real game, you just dragged and dropped stuff into a program someone else made, anyone can do that” or something. I’ve never played any visual novels, but i enjoyed rpgmaker games like The Witch’s House and Ib when i was a kid, and undertale is my favorite game of all time, so I know how good games like that can be. I thought I could learn to make video games at some point by studying computer science in college, but by my 3rd semester i couldn’t focus so i changed my major. That was almost ten years ago, and I feel like an idiot seeing so many people younger than me having so much fun doing stuff that i just gave up on after it became “too challenging” even though I’ve been using computers all my life. I guess what I’m asking is, how do you get over the fear of doing something, saying “hey look what i made/accomplished!” and having someone else say “that’s actually easy to do, you shouldn’t be proud, and here is an example why” and then you’re just left standing there like “damn, maybe i need to reflect on how stupid i am” instead of “man, that guy was a jerk.” sorry if that didn’t make sense.

you have to not think of yourself as yourself, but think of yourself as your friend telling you "someone said mean things to me" and of course when a friend says that to you you say "i will kill them for you you are amazing and the apple of my eye and they dont know what theyre talking about and what you made was great and once again: i will kill them for you". also if anyone says to you "you shouldnt be proud of this thing you made" then you are legally allowed to kill them it's in the world constitution

[boytoyhalo]

Can you give me your fitpac headcanons to make me feel better after whatever the fuck Bad's stream was today. I am so unwell...

absolutely i can!!! let's see here hmm

pac likes to sleep/cuddle with fit sprawled out directly on top of him, like actively crushing him, because the deep pressure makes him feel safe (i think I said this in a different post but accidentally switched the names around, tho tbh i could see this being true both ways so maybe they take turns)

pac's ring markings glow bright blue when he's flustered or startled (see my blue ringed octopus hybrid pac headcanon) fit discovered this for the first time with the "how you doin big daddy" incident and since then fit has been going out of his way to sneak up on pac to make it happen because he thinks it's cute, this is also part of why he's gotten more confident with his flirting

fit would never say it out loud (partially because it would embarass him and mostly because he knows it would embarass pac) but he actually capital l Loves it when pac says his name with the "-tch" sound at the end. he thinks about it more than he shoud probably

this is less of a headcanon and more a writing prompt or like. a scenario that i think would happen but i think that at some point they'd be goofing around and threatening each other over whose a better fighter (they both think its each other but theyre arguing for themselves. for the bit) and fit would take off his prosthetic arm to hold it in his other hand and point it at pac like a sword and pac would be all oh yeah i can do that too and try to take off his leg standing up and would of course immediately overbalance and fall and fit would rush to check if he's ok while laughing his ass off and pac would use the leg to knock his legs out from under him so they would both be on the ground laughing so hard they couldn't breathe. and then fit would make a stupid pun about pac "not having a leg to stand on in this argument"

speaking of prosthetic's pac normally likes to keep his metal leg covered but the first time fit gets a proper look at it he's like woah your prosthetic looks so cooler and sleek and high tech i wish mine was like that and pac preens because he made it himself (ok it was him and mike but thats practically the same thing) and after that pac starts wearing his right pant leg rolled up (fit is only half of the reason, the other half is that it makes richarlyson feel better about his own leg but this is a fitpac post)

they both Really Like watching each other fight, hence the dungeon dates, but their favorite part is after all the mobs are cleared when they're cleaning their weapons and sorting through loot and just sitting quietly together basking in the shared victory and adrenaline and praising and complimenting each other for a fight well done

fit is aroacespec (he can count the amount of people he's been actually attracted to on one hand) and between that and his trust-no-one 2b2t background he's pretty inexperienced with most relationship related things, so pac is a lot of firsts for him. Pac not-so-secretly loves this because he's possessive and likes that no one else gets the type of attention he does from fit

fit starts wearing his glasses more often when he's not expecting combat or some other situation that will make them too inconvenient because pac says he looks cute in them

pac likes to make fit carry him on his back because 1. he likes the contact and 2. its fun to feel tall. the first time this happens it's because pac's metal leg takes a hit during a battle and is basically useless til he can repair it, so fit carries him back to chume labs out of necessity. After that pac usually makes up an excuse or plays up any hits he take so fit will do it again, except he's really bad at lying so fit knows what he's doing but he doesn't mind so he doesn't call him out on it

pac's hair looks really soft and fit realllly wants to run his hands through it but he's way too awkward to ask because that feels like a line being crossed and whenever pac runs his own hands through it fit just stares like a total weirdo which tubbo and phil both make fun of him for but somehow even then pac doesnt seem to notice. it takes him a long ass time to mention it to pac who he then finds out really likes having his hair played with and has been wanting fit to do it for forever but has also felt too awkward to ask. and then they laugh at themselves for being dumbasses (and then when they kiss for the first time and every time after that fit's flesh hand immediately goes up to his hair)

fit mentions that when he gets overstimulated sometimes its too much effort to remember to take his hearing aids out so pac asks if he can borrow them for a little bit and gives them back to fit with a new noise cancelling feature, and fit has to stop himself from literally proposing marriage right then and there. He settles for just cleaning chume labs top to bottom and leaving some chocolate and an embarassingly sappy thank you note that would read as a straight up love confession to anyone outside of him and pac's oblivious-but-also-not-oblivious slowburn-but-not-slowburn bubble

sometimes if pac is tired but cant get to sleep he'll go find fit and ask him to just talk at him for a bit because his voice is relaxing and if he falls asleep with his head on fit's shoulder or in his lap fit will sit as still as a rock for hours to not wake him up

ok ok you got me rambling this post is way too long now and most of these can barely count as headcanons but yippeeee i hope u like them!!!! everything will be ok we will have our morning crew and fitpac content back soon i promise

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Buttercups:

HAVE YOU SEEN THEM??? THEY'RE JUST XUTFGUIUGDYYDYRDTESARYTDUFIYGOBJOJ I- THERE IS NO WORDS. They are stupid together. There is 3 brain cells between the three of them apart (one shared between the three of them, two that are attached to Grian and mumbo) BUT TOGETHER THEY HAVE 0.5 BRAIN CELLS!!

These three give me so much serotonin. When Mubo came back to the server, they did a little reunion thing that was just so cute. Also F*cking with Doc is just hilarious. Only Scar and Grian broke the tunnel bore, but they still roped in Mumbo somehow🤣🤣🤣

they say “what’s up buttercup” to each other!!! they covered docs perimeter!!! they have special skins!!! they’re peace love and plants!!!

OG Sleepy Bois Inc.:

i love them so much crying wailing screaming theyre all so stupid theyre my childhood they dont even make a single collective braincell they love blowing things up and doing shit the hard way and using the wrong tools and they've launched a spaceship from a can of baked beans and it took them three tries with obvious on screen instructions and your honor they are iconic they're always together it's always them. im so sleepy

Just a father struggling to keep his twin sons in check, one of them eating sand and one of them (totally not the favorite) constantly out for blood. All sorts of chaotic

they’re like brothers ^_^

[vv-julian]

SOC HEADCANONS RAAHHHH

kaz brekker: -grinds his teeth nonstop day in and out -good at logistical math like statistics, inequalities, stuff like exponential expressions etc. so fucking bad at geometry. give him a triangle he is like kys. prove this is a triangle? you want proof? i have proof that your wife is cheating on you -inej makes him do puzzles a lot. sudoku type stuff -drinks black coffee for show but hes not a caffeine-keeps-me-awake guy. hes a sugar-keeps-me-awake guy. sometimes its candies but usually it is sugar cane that he chews (did not originally know you weren't supposed to eat the fibers and would just swallow all of it)

inej ghafa: -made herself a self care routine, then ignored it and still completes all the tasks but not the way she organized it -is not one to yell at the other crows but they have many behaviors that are her pet peeves -when practicing climbing trees she tried to climb a weeping willow and got stuck on some of the leaves. inej vs weeping willow and she lost. now willows are her least favorite type of tree. plant in general -thought counting sheep was literal. learned it wasnt but it still helps her sleep

jesper fahey: -has an infrequent tendency to accidentally buy doubles of something. when he does he goes 2 wylan and is like SUPRISE!! i got us matching (insert thing) here -can do the worm, cannot do the macarena -went through a phase where he tried to impress kaz with puns. ended with violence -tried ballet. Tried

wylan hendriks: -gets regular migranes -buys huge sticker packs and puts the stickers on random people he sees. sometimes the crows but mostly just random unsuspecting people on the street. -dry ass skin. hates lotion texture though so its permanent. -likes to wear bracelets underneath his shirts/jackets and wears a LOT of them on the daily but theyre all really tight so they dont make noise or anything. and nobody can see them

nina zenik: -owns a stuffed animal but its for beating the shit out of when she gets mad. big ass stuffie that she just goes cobra kai on. -prefers hard candies over soft ones. hard candies like rock candy or those grandma caramel things that hurt if you bite them -neutral on classical books and poetry but actually despises old philosophy things written by dead guys. -has some joints that she can bend further than normal. like a double jointed elbow or smth and likes to scare matthais and be like OH MY GOD I SNAPPED MY ARM BACKWARDS and then laugh at him (lovingly though)

matthais helvar: -isnt dead L+Ratio -went to a rave once on accident. has never forgotten the experience and regularly thinks about it when he spaces out. little disco lights behind his eyes when hes staring at a wall. (he also would not go back to one) -only wears low-cut socks. gets into arguments with people about his dislike of high-cut socks -has stupid rare non-lethal allergies. nina tries to get him to eat food that is foreign to him and sometimes he just like. starts hacking it up and gets hives or somethn

[ajs-bookmark]

PJO episode seven SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED DONT SAY I DIDNT WARN YOU

episode SEVEN

ready for a better episode after disappointing ass lotus casino

my honest reaction: “GASP the waterbeds !”

BRO WHY IS HE FIGURING OUT ALL THIS AT ONCE PERCY IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING STUPID

ARRRRGGGGG ITS MAKING ME MAD 😾

annabeth and her invisibility hat 🥰

there was supposed to be a fight i’m so sad :( 

theyre leaving so much out

AW AW AW THE SCENE WITH HIS MOM he’s so persassy

does grover have a fucking stressball

please let there be the bathtub line please please please

“we’re all dying to some extent” HELP HSHAHAH

YOU CAN BUY A NEW WHISTLE IS WILD

why is cerberus lowkey adorable

awww annabeth petting him is so cutesy

lmao grover rolling out from under his lip 💀💀

UH OH THE SHOES

yes yes yes the ball my favorite part

percy’s so concerned for annabeth its adorableeeee

OMGS GROVER LOST HIS PEARL

this is so much higher stakes than three pearls to begin with 

WALKING ACROSS THE ROOF OF A GYM HAHAHAHA

“period” 💅

holy hades that skeleton thing scared me 

it’s giving “one more reel before bed: the reel:”

“i’ll be okay” i started crying

“you can do this i know you can”

OMGS GROVER BEINGGDRAGGED INTO TARTARUS

wtf tartarus is so scary

THE THE THE THE THE LIGHTNIGN. BOTL WHAT

zeus is just gonna have to wait ICONIC

“why are you trying so hard to get rid of me. i’d never do this to you.”

hades’ palace is so cool !!!

“is this our stop or” bro wtf do you think

hades is interesting. i was expecting him to give DILF vibes ngl. i don’t like the actor for him ill be honest, i wish he was more dark and brooding

“huh ?” he’s so me

“i seldom kahoot”

“my helm 😾😾😾😾😾😾😾😾😾”

what a king. i know he loves his mom and all but he knows what’s up

POSEIDON ???? please be hot please be hot please be hot

he’s such a basic white man wtf. 

IS HE BRITISH ???? nvm he’s so sexy i changed my mind mmmmm british man

OMGS THE WAY HIM AND ANNABETH LOOK AT EACH OTHER IM CRYING SCREAMING

him and ares are about to fight to the death

in summary, i am hades.

[starfleetshrimps]

i love star trek bc it's actually a high school theater production most of the time. We focus a lot on the over-acting, theatricality of the actors and the directors, and that's all well and amazing, but /I/ want to focus on the /TECH/ bc ASHAijnjsdnbhgaARREghghhuuagjkshdmhbAHJBSSHJHIEJBnkjsdjhbsdhjBmahbsjshsbHkjnswkjshsn yea.

FIRST THE SETS?!? they're so silly and stupid? i know they get a lot of shit but the amount of work (not to mention styrofoam) that went into building individual sets for each planet they went to? like sure about 50% of the away missions take place in the california desert (the arena, *cough cough*, etc) but the rest of them have individually made sets that look PRETTY GOOD MAN. they get the point across, they're FUN, and innovative, and they really don't reuse planet sets all that often as well.

PLUS they used traditionally /theatrical/ cycloramas with painted backgrounds and classical cyc lighting (reminiscent of mariano fortuny's domed cyc! i WILL talk more about lighting) which look really cool and once again get shit for being unrealistic.

it's not supposed to look realistic it's supposed to look cool as shit. and it does. shut up. <3

if you view the sets as being modern TV sets then yeah, they're weird, and they look sorta bad, but THEYRE NOT modern TV sets: they're THEATRICAL SETS FROM THE 60-70S. AND I LOVE THEM.

SECONDLY, THE

lighting

while it's true that some shows in the 60s were developing new lighting styles specifically for TV, remember that in the year 1950 less that 10 percent of US homes had a television. this shit was new. COLOR tv was ESPECIALLY new. nobody knew how to light these things! and actually why would you need a new lighting style, we already KNEW how to light dramatic productions, why would we ever need to reinvent the wheel Stanley Mccandles, Mariano Fortuny, and Gene Rosenthall already invented says Gene Roddenberry and Jerry Finnerman (the head lighting designer). and oh my god i am so ridiculously glad. because the lighting. is so good.

i HAVE seen others talking about how good it is in the super early episodes (Charlie X and the conscious of the King, etc.) and i do agree! but i disagree that the quality goes down. i think it just got a tad bit more subtle as the show went on and it gets less in your face, harder to notice. but i noticed. because I'M the WORST (and also a lighting tech)

the impossibility of listing every example of amazing theater lighting choice they made is absolutely horrific and nasty so i'll just lost some my my favorites:

the cyc! i mentioned before but the cyc they used on away missions was only painted when they needed a specific scene in the background, otherwise? that bitch was LIT. and i LOVE IT.

any of the scenes where they light spock's face have green and half pink? or even just washing the walls behind him? i eat that shit UP. the METAPHOR. the CONFLICT. i will acquiesce that green and pink are (and were) pretty goddamn industry standard gels (color-films) to add to lights, for subtle contrast, but this is not subtle. it is LOUD. was it purposefully done from a storytelling perspective? no idea. is it cool as shit and interpret-able as hell? absolutely. also sometimes they do it with just green when they want to emphasize his vulcan-ness and other him a bit. like they do it a lot when he's in his room in amok time. anyway.

whenever they shutter a light so they can emphasize a character's (kirk, we're talking abt kirk here. and *sometimes* spock, and also Charlie in Charlie X but yeah mostly kirk) eyes when they say something #Deep, or just pre-commercial break closure worthy line. it's so SHJSDJBFEJNKN. to add onto this, they'll do a striking half-wash over half of their face sometimes in conjunction and it looks So Good

The GOBOS. sometimes, they'll just throw light through a gobo, or wall screen, or something, for /visual interest/ and it looks so silly i love it sm. does it make sense from a realism pov? nO. but star trek is a theater production actually and they lit everything using mainly naturalistic techniques! amazing!

honorable mentions: the glowing time donut, and the entirely random colors in the hallway.

there are so many other examples but this post is long enough lmao. notice the lights next time you watch tos!!,! please!!! <3

[parasytte]

Omg I got 2 scenarios

1) what if Ivan (yan!gamer) and reader knew eachother irl? Like reader is like gushing about this new player whos super nice and talking about their fun experiences with them and Ivan knows theyre talking about him but he still doesn’t have enough confidence to tell reader its him cause it might make things awkward?

2) its similar to the first one but instead of reader gushing about Ivan, its another player? Like Ivan overhears reader talk about this sweet person who likes the same things as them and is always flirty, funny and overall just a fun person to be with? Then ivan gets jealous and stuff?

going w number 2 because i <3 jealous ppl ,, changed ur ask just a teensy winsy bit ,, also not proofread

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

it had become basically a routine now since you’ve got a new best friend - ivan.

everyday at a certain time of day, like clockwork, you’d call him and play a few games with him while talking about your day.

you really enjoyed this part of your day .. you might even say it’s your favorite part of the day - but do you know who enjoyed your little gaming/chatting sessions even more?

ivan.

every single day he’d sit at his gaming chair just staring at his pc. his leg would bounce at a fast speed while he picked at the skin around his fingers, waiting for your message.

his heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest when a ‘ding!’ comes from his pc.

“hi !! i’m home now :))) wanna call and play ????”

ivan types so fast he misspells, “yws plessee”, as he hits the call button before the message can even finish sending.

you answer almost as fast as he called god his heart fluttered .. you must be just as excited to talk to him as he is to talk to you !!!! and he even though he’s heard your voice a million times ivan will never, ever get sick of it.

the call’s usually always begin the same, you guys say a quick ‘hello’ and decide what game to play then take turns talking about your days, but this call is different.

ivan can tell just from your voice what your feeling; no matter how good you are at hiding it, and today you clearly aren’t doing a good job masking the giddiness in your voice.

he can practically hear the way your trying to bite back the smile he just knows is on your lips. it makes ivan happy, too.

he smiles, “c’mon, what’s got you so happy today?” ivan asks.

you respond with a coy “nothing!” but ivan isn’t fooled. god, you’re so cute. what has you acting this way?

“i’m not stupid, y/n,” ivan says back, “tell me? pleaseee?” he begs. you roll your eyes at this and let out a laugh, unable to bite back your smile.

“okay, okay! i’ll tell you …” you take a moment to gather your words.

“there’s this person ..”

ivan’s smile drops.

“.. and their just ..”

his heart stops fluttering.

“… so amazing.”

his heart shatters.

all of a sudden, ivan isn’t so happy you’re happy. what the fuck do you mean “there’s this person” ? the happiness ivan felt before has now turned into red-hot anger and the butterflies that were once fluttering lively in his stomach have now turned into rage-filled locusts that are trying to tear their way out of his throat.

he’s so angry about this person that he hasn’t even noticed that you were waiting for his response.

“ivan? ivan, are you there?” your voice snaps him back into reality.

“.. huh? oh, sorry! my discord has been so glitchy today.” ivan lies through gritted teeth. “you said something about a person, right? tell me more about them!”

at this you go on and on about this person you’ve been talking too lately- about how their so sweet, funny, and just oh-so fun to be around! is he not enough for you? - and as outraged as ivan is, and how bad he just feels like breaking something .. or, better yet, tracking down that pathetic, sorry, low-life bastard that he can’t even find the words to describe, and give them what they deserve, atleast, on the bright side, the more you talk about this person, the more he knows about them.

and the sooner he can deal with this home-wrecker.

[awkwardarmadildo]

SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE REIGATE SQUIRE EPISODE !!!

here are my favorite quotes and bits from both parts (m=mariana, s=sherlock, j=john, w=wiggins, a=rich little pissboy) [excuse all the emojis, i think theyre funny and they help me get the tone across better]

m: "whos a beautiful, weird smelly boy? thats right, thats you! uee!🥰😍😙😄"

the entire introduction handwriting bit actually theyre so silly and goofy i love them so fucking much bro

s: "what is this 🤨? some kind of code 😲... a cipher😮... its ineligible but it has patterns😯... similarities in its form😲... what could it mean 🤔?" m: "...its johns handwriting" s: "😮‍💨 ah."

s: "youve taken me to a loud marketplace 😐. full of people shouting and strong smelling foods 😑" j: [allistic sputtering]

j: "youre supposed to be resting" s: "mhmm" j: "you are though ☹️" s: "oh i know that" j: "then dont say it. mkay? dont even think it" s: "dont say what?" j: "😠 i 😠 know 😠 what 😠 you 😠 are 😠 about 😠 to 😠 say 😠" s: "not about to say anything 😇" j: "good" s: "fine" j: "lovely" s: "splendid 🙂" *typing sounds* j: "what are you doing?" s: "sending... a message" *message notification* j: "oh i-... from you 😒... the game is afoot- uahhhh" s: [voice getting smaller as he runs away] "i told you i wouldnt say it! 😁😊😌"

s: "a hunk. a dish. a ssssstud. a certified BeefCake." j: "oh, don’t say beefcake ☹️" m: [whistles] "yum!" j: "oia-! dont say yum! 😟☹️😠"

the bit at about 25:45 - 26:00 in the first part. just imagining a mix of someone chasing after their dog when they hear it chewing on something it shouldnt be and "what d'you have?" "a knife!" "NO!"

s: "watson here is one of the most capable medical practitioners london can offer 😤 i am in safe hands" j: "yeah youre delirious, im calling an ambulance😒🙄"

j: "yeah, well, y'know. id rather you went home and stopped collapsing, but Here We Are 😒😠" s: "fine 🫤😒. ʰᵉˡˡᵒ"

j: "aaaa ow! that-! she pinched me ☹️😣😥! *turning and pouting at the small child while pointing at sherlock* 'scuse me! i didnt steal the swing, he did 😠😤!"

j: "lets go 'nd betray this old mans trust... ✨️ t o g e t h e r ✨️😊😚☺️"

w: "sherlock pal"

w: "i sure did"

w: "hey johnny boy, how ya doin"

w: "nice to meet ya mariana, heard lovely things"

w: "from sherlock"

every word out of wiggins mouth

every noise wiggins makes

wiggins

s: "the temperature of your bollocks are not my concern. it is alec cunninghams bollocks that i am interested in" j: "*into the mic, likely while making a stupid face* you heard it here first folks"

a: "forrester- get off- call my dad. call my dad right now-" m: "nobody needs to call their dad, alec 😒 were not in the playground 🙄"

a: "NOOOOOO 😨😢😟" s: "yyyyes ☺️🤗😇"

a: [sad little rich man whimpering]

i actually kinda liked colin he was kinda funny to me because i would have to be bleeped just as much as he was lmfao. sometimes people say fuck