#theses are my three favorite characters ever

[lavndvrr]

Why do I have an obsession with traumatized fire boys with daddy and mommy issues????

[wetcatspellcaster]

very kindly tagged by @cursedhaglette, thank you for giving me a chance to talk about my writing :)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

11! :)

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

lmfao. 985,659. That's nearly ten thesises (theses?) in the time of my PhD programme, so I'm going to just go quickly walk into the sea.

3) What fandoms do you write for?

the majority of my fic is for videogames with love interests and OC potential (BG3, Dragon Age) but I did briefly fall prey to the darklina disease, which I have to admit to here in order to answer some of the other questions

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1- Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth (bg3)

2- Party Favours (bg3)

3- A Bleeding Heart (bg3)

4- The Stars Don't Shine, They Burn (shadow and bone)

5- An Honest Lie (bg3)

5) Do you respond to comments?

as best as I can, I typically clear out a previous chapter just before I post something new (so that's one way to monitor or predict my posting activity lmfao)

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Lmao. Sunblindness (shadow and bone) which takes an 'eye for an eye' approach to an amnesia AU. I actually wanted to end on a major character death but my pal's response was "jesus Emma, this is something people read for fun" so I watered it down :')))))

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Party Favours currently!! Happier endings incoming, IMO.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

yes, occasionally, I'm still in single digits thankfully. i always find it so funny bc nobody is more critical of my fic than me. you think you can hurt me? babygirl, we're in the 5th dimension of insults in my brain, your surface level comment barely touches the sides.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope! call me the Astarion!spawn ending, the way I fade-to-black :')))))

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I crossovered Stardust and Shadow and Bone, but it was not a straight crossover it was more a chewed up, swallowed, and digested version of both premises. I similarly wrote a Wintersmith/Shadow and Bone crossover that I never posted bc the sickness left me.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

lol. lmfao, even. :)))))

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have had requests made of me and given permission for that to happen, but I do not know if it was ever posted!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, it's not for me unfortunately, I was that horrible kid in group projects who just wished she could work alone :')))))))))))

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

honestly there are many but the two that are indelibly written on my soul are Howl/Sophie and Spike/Buffy like the simple bitch I am.

In terms of things I've written? zevran/surana, hands down.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Anything I post I will eventually finish, out of social anxiety alone. At the moment I'm worried about the stuff sitting unposted in gdocs.

16) What are your writing strengths?

hahahahahahaha i don't fucking know i think i can make character voices distinct so you can usually tell which POV I'm writing from once the perspectives are established?

I have been complimented on my dialogue.

I think I'm usually brave enough to take a risky decision, even if it doesn't pay off. These decisions also land more than they used to so it's a skill I've built with time and one I am proud of.

My jokes don't seem to just be for me anymore, I like it when other people say I made them laugh.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

If there's something that can be said straightforwardly in a sentence, you know I'll say it in three paragraphs instead. I wouldn't be surprised if people think I'm a purple-prosed motherfucker.

Smut and lack thereof

the repeat of 'conversation, stage direction, eye contact, expression, repeat' is not a weakness but it is something I become intermittently self conscious of.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am a fan of it and I appreciate it when its done well (pour one out for Naomi Novik's fic/writing where the language work is cringingly poor), but not something I can personally do. Admirer in others, of the skills I lack.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

*dabs* Dragon Age, the OG. It was the pandemic, and I didn't want to replay Wicked Eyes Wicked Hearts bc I hate timed sections, so I wrote a fic instead.

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

I feel bad writing this on the blog that's currently 99% BG3, but The Stars Don't Shine They Burn. It was my first time plotting something that diverged greatly from source material, and I was going through some stuff at the time that I can feel viscerally when I return to it and read the words. It is a work of personalised comfort. There's one scene in it that still gets me, every single time.

I don't know, it's funny to see Pieces get attention and I'm very, very proud of Pieces, but some of what I'm thinking through in that was in its proto-form in the other fic, which is finished and I'm really proud of it... so let's see if anything comes along to bop it off the top spot once I have a critical distance and am not in the writing trenches lol.

Tagging wise, I actually want to do an open call on this one!! this was a really pleasant exercise, so anyone seeing this who wants to talk about their writing or celebrate their achievements can take this as my personal invitation :)

scared? do it anyway x

[why-am-i-here-someone-save-me]

Heya! Just found your blog and absolutely adore your style :>

I wanted to see if I could get a little blurb about my experience with my three beloved limited 5 stars, tartaglia, ganyu, and kazuha.

Childe was my first limited 5 star, I played his story quest during his second rerun and fell in love! I immediately started pulling like mad, and at somewhere between 75-77 the star turned gold, and I won my first ever 50/50. He’s still probably my favorite but I’m bias as a tartaglia simp.

Now call me a fortune teller, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be lucky again (my sisters and I are on a streak of 6 lost 50/50s, 3 of which are mine ejnentnt) and so I looked through the list of characters and immediately fell in love with ganyu and kazuha, I started saving, I did one ten pull a banner to get 4 stars and stopped at 70 pity. I had 100 wishes saved by ganyus banner, it took every single one, but there she was. After 170 wishes, my second limited 5 star.

Now at this point I was worried, I didn’t have many primos to grind in the world and at the time people where saying that kazuha was coming every version. A lot of theses happened, I saved some wishes, went on a genshin hiatus, came back, saved some more. Until there I was, kazuhas banner, with enough to guarantee him, and then he came home. (And then I lost the 50/50 for his weapon LOLLLLLL don’t do what I do it’s a scam)

Tbh I’m at an impasse in terms of wishing, I just don’t feel the need atm, I have the characters I’ve wanted from the beginning, I’ve won, my dearest darlings all came home.

Feel free to ignore if you don’t want to or if I broke any rules, but if you decided to write anything for it I’d greatly appreciate it!

Well that only took a minor eternity. IM SOOO SORRY BBY! I kept rewriting it over and over because I wanted it to be as good as I could make it, and I’m still not entirely satisfied with it, but I’ve made you wait too long already so bleeeehhh 🥲 Again, I’m so so sooo sorry for the wait!

The Three

The stars of Teyvat were not set. Each moved and sailed throughout the heavens on its own course, adrift in the cosmic seas of stardust.

Teyvat’s people, as a result, looked to the stars for signs of your will. For you did not walk the realm they did, no, you were beyond it, beyond their skies, beyond their world. There were many whom sought to interpret the stars; albeit not everyone achieved success in the matter. Some were talented enough to catch brief glimpses, quick flashes of the secrets that the astral bodies kept locked away, though these geniuses were very few in number.

It had been chaos when the first star fell from the night sky. But as more days and nights passed, more stars came from the heavens to the earth below. The shining blue lights were a true blessing to witness, but it had been the first purple star that had fallen that was the key to understanding the events.

The violet light had reached a young lady in Mondstadt, a hard worker with strong will and stronger eagerness to please. The moment she touched the light, it had been as though a warmth had filled her body, and she could practically feel power pulsing from the Geo Vision adorning her clothes.

Noelle had been the first of many to receive one of these ‘purple stars’.

But there were others who had received a different color of star. Three individuals who had been given a fragment of power from you far greater than what was contained in the violet stars.

The first had encountered the astral blessing in secret, although he did not hide the blessing he had received.

He was known by many names.

Ajax.

Childe.

Tartaglia.

The 11th of the Fatui Harbingers.

But he had one title that he held most precious of all, even above his own name.

Your First.

It had been him who had received the shooting star that seemed to turn the night sky to day with its light. He might not have been the first to feel your presence, but he had been first to feel it’s full extent, to feel your care.

Traveling with you was always exciting. Not a moment went by that he found himself bored. No matter what duties he received, it was simply a fact that the moment he felt you call, anything that Childe was working on would be left until later.

He adored journeys with you.

He adored being with you.

Ajax well and truly adored you.

The second had been blessed one busy evening, the passerby struck with awe and wonder, albeit much to her embarrassment. Unlike the first, she did not flaunt the gift you’d bestowed upon her; no, she was far too humble to brag.

Not a day went by where Ganyu did not thank you for your blessing. She was as dutiful about it as the many tasks she carried out daily. And yet for all her work, despite how seriously she took it, at your call, she’d drop it all in an instant. You were her top priority. In all things, she worked as if every duty was given to her by you.

As time went by you’d never notice how the supply of mora and experience never ran dry. And who’d ever suspect sweet passive Ganyu to be behind the matter? After all, her kind took no pleasure in battle. But Ganyu sought no glory or joy in battle, no she sought only to aid you. As much as the modern people of Liyue might respect her secretary skills, Ganyu was a survivor of the Archon Wars. She was far from weak, something that made it easy to conquer the many leylines that were scattered throughout the land. She might not have access to this ‘resin’ she’d heard you speak of, but she could still gather a bit of the resources before they disappear.

Her love language was acts of service, and when it came to you, Ganyu would give you her everything.

The Third had received your blessing whilst seeking refuge from past hardship. They spoke of it to no one, though your presence radiated from them, telling any who would feel that this was one of your Chosen, and though he said nothing, those who bore witness did not share his silence.

Kazuha had wasted no time during his flight from Inazuma. Joining the crew of the Alcor had provided him with the companionship he had wanted, though it could never replace his dear friend. When Beidou had given the order to set sail for Inazuma once again, he’d been slightly surprised. But upon hearing the reason, he couldn’t help but feel a spark of excitement appear in him. He might not have been able to prevent his friend’s fate, but he had been granted the opportunity to aid in the abolition of the Vision Hunt Decree. He may have lost some of his faith in the divine after the actions of the Raiden Shogun, but he couldn’t deny that in that moment, he has wondered if you had granted him this opportunity.

The approach to Tenshukaku had been nerve wracking, yet he pushed through nonetheless. The sight of the traveler leaving the courtyard had been reassuring, at least until he could see the shaken expression on the outlander’s face. Paimon was by their side as usual, visibly fearful and slightly trembling. Dark clouds cover the skies, violet lightning streaking through the heavens. The pressure was near crushing. When the Shogun appeared, blade drawn, it was as though he was there in the past once more, helpless to save his companion from her Divine Punishment.

No.

Not this time.

He moved without thought, drawing his blade and clashing it with the archon’s own, violet sparks flying through the air, the Masterless Vision of his dear friend blazing into purple light, and for a few seconds he faltered.

A brilliant golden light burst from the heavens, parting the dark clouds and blazing towards the earth.

When the light crashed into his form, it was as though he was filled with a energy not felt in the months since losing his friend. He knew the presence immediately.

You.

The eyes of the Shogun widened in shock as her blade was forced backwards, appalled that this human had gained your favor over her. Kazuha was blown backwards, and was left stunned for a moment. The rest of the events that followed had been a blur, and for a while he half believed that it had all been in his head. But the lingering feeling of your warmth was undeniable.

Kazuha knew that as one of the Alcor’s crew, he would not always be able to come when you called, so needless to say, both he and the rest of the crew had been quite surprised when the ronin vanished, only to appear again hours later, claiming to have been to the mainland. After several times this became something they simply accepted. Each time he would return, he’d bring back something to the crew, and Beidou jokingly said she ought to put him to work as a messenger.

You’d never notice how you never seemed to run out of ingredients and regional specialties, but rest assured, the Kaedahara was diligent about insuring he collected whatever helpful things he came across during his journeys.

He might not always be the most available, but if you should call on him, Kazuha Kaedahara will doubtless answer.

[fearofahumanplanet]

8, 10, and 16 please!! If you haven't answered them already, lol. I'm a little late again 😅

(- from @andromedatalksaboutstuff)

Hey Andi! It's okay I've gone through a couple multiple times anyway <3 How are you?

"8. which of your own projects have shaped your writing the most? in what way?"

I went over this in another post, but Karma Killer is the most important thing to my own career I've ever written. I had a bunch of projects over six or so years before that, but Karma Killer was... literally just meant to be a personal thing to traumapost, and it ended up defining my entire writing style. My focus on sociopolitical and psychological themes, the influence of horror, using referential fiction to further a character arc, my focus on a villain protagonist and "outcasts", a lot of my favorite motifs (the ocean, masks, the night), so much of it originated in that book! It's when everything "came together" so to speak, and just in time too, as it was right about the time I was closest to giving up entirely.

"10. which patterns keep popping up in your projects/characters?"

antivillain/antihero protagonists

Sapphic relationships

Always a huge focus on psychological/mental health/sociopolitical topics

No matter what genre I'm writing in, some horror creeps in inevitably, it's unavoidable

Re-occuring cryptic phrases that change meaning throughout the story with further context

Alliteration

Mentally shattered badass independent lesbian protagonists has apparently become my thing according to some people

Either references to mythology or outright uses of mythological gods, but there is always at least something named in a way to reference myth its also inevitable

Stylized, very visceral gore

In general, i write speculative fiction but i mix grounded, gritty combat (i.e. shattering bones, biting through flesh, beating black and blue, in general emphasizing impact is the best way i can put it) & accurate medical injuries (thx nurse history) with fantastical elements like magic, the supernatural and metaphysical concepts

LOTS of philosophy, especially on the the nature of being human, nihilism, and existentialism

The de-emphasis/subversion of "good" and "evil" roles, always morally grey

Small things, like using the word "cycle" instead of "chapter"

Using physical masks to emphasize duality and/or a physical manifestation of the concept of masking your true self, as well as just masks in general

Every one of my books always starts out bad (in stakes) and steadily manages to get worse and worse and worse with no relief

Exploring the cycle of abuse and seeing how traumatized people are often inevitably bound to traumatize others around them, whether they mean it or not

The nature of forgiveness vs punishment and whether a line should even be drawn

Using persecuted minority groups or "scapegoats" as protagonists to emphasize the idea of evil is a manmade concept

Tying to the above, using serpents and snakes as a recurring motif and metaphor for scapegoats

lots of references to epic poetry and classical literature

The ocean as a metaphor for depression or loss

"16. to what extent do you research for your writing?"

The "I practically get a PhD in every little thing" extent. If I'm not already intimately aware of the details of something I'm writing about, I will spend days researching it and making myself an expert (an example: there is a three-page autopsy scene in Miasma, I spent a week researching autopsies in preparation). I have hundreds and hundreds of pages in research docs that could practically be college theses with how detailed and voluminous they are.

Thanks for the ask!

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Secret of the Sun Drop (Part 1)

Were now at the season finale folks and it’s the beginning of the end. This is the series’ highpoint, it’s all downhill afterwards. However, while this episode is good, it’s still got flaws so let's get to it. 

Summary: On Rapunzel's nineteenth birthday, Frederic tightens his grip on the Rapunzel and the kingdom, while Varian makes his move to attack. 

More Indication of the Timeline 

Remember, Varian said that it would be matter of months until the rocks reached the island in QfaD and today is the day that they reach it. Now Raps is saying that Frederic has been lying to her for months. At least since TWoRR, which makes more sense if you remember that that particular episode was meant to slot between QfaD and this episode. 

The show has a bad habit of making the passage of time an important plot point but failing to showcase how much time has past. Showing episodes out of order didn’t help, but even more than that the audience shouldn’t have to rely on one line exposition to gain knowledge of what’s going on. The show fails to use actual visual indicators of what’s going on. There’s little visual change in seasons, next to no change in character models, and all we have are made up holidays to go by.   

Also yes, Rapunzel has left a fourteen year old alone for three months. This isn’t something that can be excused. Seriously, stop trying to do so people. It just makes you look bad when you do.  

Wow, Way to Victim Blame, Raps. 

“Unstable”? We’re seriously going to use ableist terms to describe a grieving young teenager who’s been persecuted and neglected for months on in?

And Rapunzel knows he’s been persecuted and abandoned for months at this point. She’s read the note. She’s been attacked by same the guards that attacked him. She’s heard the rumors. She seen his father’s corpse. She has just admitted in this very spiel that Frederic has been lying. She knows how people are unfairly treated by Corona’s legal system and that ‘treason’ is a death sentence to anyone but herself.  

Yet, all she can do here is whine about how all of this only affects her. This entire speech is just me, me, me, and I, I, I. Don’t tell me she’s a kind and compassionate person when her hypocrisy is made into a fundamental plot point for the season’s main conflict. 

But let's get to the real reason for this little recap. It’s to create bias in the viewer. 

The viewer is aware that Varian might be up to something, but Rapunzel logically, should not be. Varian technically hasn’t done anything wrong yet. The worst he’s done is feed people truth serum, which is no different than Xavier drugging folks with the mood potion. Given how Raps didn’t care about Xavier doing that she shouldn’t care about Varian doing it either, especially since it didn’t physically harm anyone. Also Varian very much is in the right to take the flower and she knows the only thing he’s going to use it for is to free his father and possibly stop the rocks. He’s been very upfront about that. 

Also don’t you dare bring up the stupid reprise! Intent isn’t action. You can't condemn people for having negative thoughts. You can only condemn people for acting upon their negative impulses, which, once again, has not happened yet. 

Furthermore, Rapunzel isn’t privy to Varian’s innermost thoughts and hasn’t been present for those instances where he did voice negative intent. Ergo, him singing a misplaced reprise does not excuse her behaviour. 

The characters in the show treat Varian as a villain before he ever actually becomes a villian, and that’s only because the creator wants you to side with his self-insert instead of actually addressing the moral conundrums that he’s written into the show. 

Does Anyone Else Besides Me Find the Glorification of Classism In the Show Disturbing? 

So supposedly all of these gifts have been given to Rapunzel by the regular citizenry of Corona. There might be a few from a couple of lower nobles or royals from outside of Corona, but for the most part it’s implied that all of theses presents are from poor people. 

Rapunzel is a princess. She’s literally the richest person in the whole kingdom and holds people’s lives in her hands. Giving a thoughtful gift because you like her is one thing, paying tribute to her very existence just because she technically owns you is another. 

Keep in mind people have been brainwashed for nearly two decades to worship Rapunzel. They’ve made a holiday out of her birthday. Later on we see the townspeople defend the King even when it’s been proven that he’s done them wrong. They follow Rapunzel blindly through out season three. ect. 

The people of Corona are dangerously loyal to feudalism, royalty, and authoritarian rule long past sanity, and given the other authoritarian messages in the show, it takes what is meant to be a sweet scene of a girl who grew up with nothing suddenly gaining acceptance and turns it into a creepy endorsement of the class system. 

More Evidence that Frederic is the Worst 

This scene makes it clear that Frederic is the one who is threatening Cassandra here, not her dad. It was never Cap who held the convent thing over her head. Now you can hold Cap accountable for choosing loyalty to the crown and his job over his daughter’s well being, but that is one of the few things that is actually addressed in the show, in this very episode in fact, so why would you? 

Also, why only now? Frederic has known about Cassandra’s involvement since TWoRR when he first read Rapunzel’s diary. It’s strange he’d go out of his way to silence Varian for months on in but waits until the last episode to persecute Rapunzel’s bestie. You could argue that maybe he didn’t wanna risk tipping off Rapunzel but then why didn’t this happen during TAR instead?  

Once again the writer is playing favorites in order to create bias. It’d be suddenly a lot harder to excuse Frederic if he was hunting down Cass along side Varian as she’s a main character and you couldn’t keep that as a ‘read between the lines’ scenario. Which, incidentally, is why we never get a Varian focused episode to show his time on the run. You couldn’t get away with having the main character siding with your dictator self-insert if you actually visually showed him persecuting a helpless child. 

Don’t Expect This to Go Anywhere

Rapunzel is rightly angry about this clear abuse, but then never brings it up ever again. It’s completely forgotten about after this point. Frederic is never held accountable for his actions. 

This is the Point Where Varian Actually Becomes a Villian

Not the flower, not the truth serum, not the damn reprise, but here. This is the point where his actions cross the line. Violence, particularly violence against people who aren’t currently hurting you, is wrong. Varian is a villain, he does do bad things, and I’m not going to ignore that. 

However, knowing where, when, how, and why he becomes a villain is extremely important in not only understanding the story but in also navigating the moral minefield that is this show. 

Because Varian is still the victim even as he slides into the role the antagonist. There’s been no change in the power dynamics. His life is still under threat from the king. Every action he takes is a step to either free his father and/or defend himself from a corrupt government that would see him hanged just for daring to defy it’s dictator.   

People defend Varian to this day, not because he has a tragic backstory, but because he’s been forced into a dangerous situation with little way out. There’s nothing else he could have done that wouldn’t have lead to his eventual untimely death. Because indirect violence is still violence. Frederic is no less evil just because Varian fights against the king’s indirect violence with direct violence.  

Varian’s Life was Forfeit the Moment He was Turned Away During the Storm and This is the Show Confirming That

This is a grown man, with all the power in the world, threatening a child. A child who he has cannonly persecuted for three months before this incident. A child that was neglected by Rapunzel despite him being her responsibility. 

Any excuse you give to defend either Frederic or Rapunzel is already made invalid by the simple fact that they are both adults and Varian is not. They are both in charge here, not the fourteen year old. 

We do not hold people under legal voting age to the same standards as adults for two simple reasons. One, they are powerless in making the laws that they are accused of breaking, and two, they haven’t reached the point of development where they can take care of themselves and be expected to make rational decisions within a functioning society. Now we could have an argument all day long about the pros and cons of when the rights and responsibilities of adulthood should be granted to people (16?18?21?), but at fourteen/fifteen, Varian isn’t there yet regardless. 

You can not in any good moral consciousness hold people lacking rights to the same responsibilities as those with rights. 

That isn’t to say that kids can’t do bad things. They obviously can and have before. But when enacting judgement and the punishment that goes along with that, you have to keep their lack of rights in mind and make the sentence proportional to both their age, circumstances, and their crime. This is why courts that try teens as adults are absolutely vile. I do not care what crime they commited, you don’t do that. 

I’m not criticizing Rapunzel and Frederic here because I personally dislike them or something. I’m criticizing them because I’m opposed to the messages that they become mouthpieces for. When you defend these two characters you defend their stance to persecute and abuse a child. Ergo, you spout the same authoritarian beliefs that are currently tearing my country apart and I will hold you accountable for it. 

Like them all you want, but liking a character does not mean blindly going along with their bullshit. 

This Still Abuse

In fact it’s the same abuse that Gothel did to her. It was wrong then and it’s wrong now and there’s no excuse for that. 

What a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that you can be both a victim and a bully at the same time. What differentiates Rapunzel, Frederic, and Varian from one other is their level of respective power in the situation and how their trauma actually impacts the rationale behind their actions. 

Frederic is the most accountable in this whole conflict because he’s the one with the most power and because his personal trauma isn’t grounds for what he does. They’re a reason that’s been given, but past trauma isn’t an excuse to hurt others who had nothing to do with that trauma. He is, ultimately the instigator of all of the conflicts in season one. 

Rapunzel is not as accountable, but she’s not entirely blameless either. As both an adult and a princess, Rapunzel held the power to save Varian and stop things from getting this far and she choose not to do so. Rapunzel’s trauma is a reason for why she fails in her responsibility but it’s still not an excuse as Varian has nothing to do with her personal insecurities. He’s not responsible for getting her to fix her shit and had he done nothing she would have continued on ignoring both his and her own problems. Frederic’s abuse would have still been there with or without the black rocks or Varian’s involvement. She’s not deserving of how her father treats her, but neither is Varian deserving of how she treats him.

Varian is the least accountable. Sure there are somethings that he does wrong, but as a child he holds no power in the situation. His only means of fighting back is his own intelligence, but being the smartest person in the room isn’t necessarily a power imbalance. Also his trauma is currently ongoing and his actions are directly tied into making his abusers stop. Because yeah, both Frederic and Rapunzel are abusive to Varian. Neglect is a form of abuse.

Eugene is the Only Person in this Situation with the Right Response, Shame It Won’t Amount to Anything

After all this, Eugene has no reason to ever trust Frederic again.  Neither does Rapunzel, nor the rest of kingdom. He should have been shunned from here on after. This isn’t promoting ‘cancel culture’ or whatever, this is acknowledging that ‘forgiveness’ isn’t and shouldn’t be a shield from the personal consequences for your actions. 

But Frederic is the Creator’s Self-Insert and Therein Lies the Problem

I keep calling Frederic the creator’s self-insert not because I’m making assumptions or accusations but because this is something that Chris has admitted to publicly on numerous occasions. If you want a reference than just check out his interview during D23. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ECeflBTS58

There’s also more confirmation on his twitter and in other interviews. Though I’d personally recommend that younger fans stay away from him and his twitter, given his past behavior. (more on this later)

Chris has also publicly made excuses whenever criticism of Frederic has reached him. The same excuses that he then puts into the show itself. That’s why he and the show is so desperate for Varian to be the hated villain instead and goes out of its way to create a bias in how characters and conflicts are presented. 

Look, having a self-insert or a character you relate to isn’t in of itself a bad thing. Nor does having such a character mean that you personally avocate all that they do. I mean Varian is my favorite character in the show, partly because I’m a political activist, but that doesn’t mean that I approve of attacking government officials in their homes or something. Yet, if you want to make your self-insert likable to the audience then why on earth would make them an abusive dictator and then never hold them accountable to that? 

I cannot say what goes through Chris’s mind nor what his actual beliefs are, but the very fact that show won’t acknowledge corruption for what it is and constantly excuses abusers is worrisome enough on its own. It either means that Chris is woefully incompetent, actually encourages authoritarian thought, or some combination of both. Add in his bullying of younger fans, to the point where his was kicked off the Tangled discord, and what is left is not a flattering picture of the man. 

The Show Completely Assassinates Arianna’s Character Here

You’re telling me that the Queen has no power? You’re telling me that the only mother in the show is going to stand aside and do nothing while her only daughter, who has been missing for 18 years, is abused? You’re telling me that Arianna only exists in the story to excuse her husband’s actions? You’re telling me that this ‘strong, independent, badass’ woman you co-opted from the movie is only here to be subservient to a man and you’re going to act like this is a good and noble thing, that it’s ‘true love’? You’re telling me that if she’s not only willing to do this, right now, then she apparently has done it before in his 18 long years reign of terror and oppression? 

Fuck whoever wrote this! This is an insulting to women everywhere and a slap in the face to people who were actually victims of abuse.  

This is Enabling Abuse, Don’t Do This! 

BULLSHIT!!!

This is the line abusers feed their victims all the damn time!!!

The movie smartly made the decision to keep Gothel’s personal feelings towards Rapunzel ambiguous. That’s why she is one of the best villains in Disney history. If we only look at the movie than she may have ‘loved’ Rapunzel too. Who knows? It doesn’t matter. 

Abuse Is Abuse Regardless of the Abuser’s Reasons or Personal Feelings Towards Their Victim

Many abusers think that they love their victims. It’s a lie that they sell to both themselves and their victims. But it’s a twisted, toxic, and possessive ‘love’ that doesn’t actually care for and respect it’s recipient. Ergo, not love at all. 

There’s not enough words to express my disgust with this exchange. There are children watching this. It’s directed right at them and sadly, yes, there are undoubtedly some watching who are trapped in abusive homes. The show just reinforced the beliefs of those abusers and helped to keep those children trapped in that situation by confirming what they’ve already been taught. 

This is beyond irresponsible, and someone higher up should have stepped in before this. It’s clear that this show lacked any sort of real oversight. You have a million dollar series being showrunned by two newbie producers with zero writing credit and no one thought  that there should maybe be a senior executive and editor involved?

That’s Not Enough

Admitting that something is wrong, right after excusing it, isn’t enough. You need to show the characters taking action and changing their ways. If Arianna truly believes that this ‘isn’t right’ then why does she not do anything about it after this conversation? 

So What Did the King Do to Monty?

He runs off the tell the king the very thing that said king has gone to great lengths to hide and has yet to admit his involvement in. Also Monty doesn’t re-appear until after Varian blows Frederic’s cover. So what happened in between now and then? Did Frederic persecute Monty as well, lie to him, or did Monty not ever reach the King before the scandal was revealed, because any one of those answers would conflict with Monty’s actions later in the story. 

Watch as Cass Forgets Her Motivation 

We’re at the end of the first season and the audience is only just now getting this important insight into the deuteragonist, a reveal that’ll only be walked back on in later seasons. 

If Cassandra’s whole motivation and reasoning is just to earn her father’s approval, which she does gain by the way, then how come she gives a crap about what other people besides him thinks? If being a guard is her true goal then why is she after praise from strangers constantly? You don't get praise from being a guard. It’s a thankless job and she should know that from see what her dad has to do all the time to stay in Frederic’s good graces. Also why not make her dad more central to her arc and resolution, then? 

What I’m getting at is that Cassandra isn’t consistent. What she wants changes conveniently to suit the story’s needs rather than being based in any actual logical progression of events. Often flip flopping from one supposed ill-defined goal to another and back again; till in the end she winds up with no goal at all.

Set Yourself Free is the Only Point Where Rapunzel’s Arc Works

This is the only lesson that Rapunzel actually learns. How to be assertive. This is set up, is build up to throughout the season, and then culminates into this climax/reveal. For once there’s an actual resolution here to a previously established problem. A resolution that isn’t then walked back on. Rapunzel remains assertive throughout the narrative and grows no further past this point. There’s nothing else learned, even as she takes this lesson and runs it into the ground by overstepping her bounds and going into full on bully mode in later seasons. 

Undermining Tension 

I talked about this in What the Hair, but Cassandra conveniently ignoring orders without consequence, or even any real effort on her part, showcases that the convent was never really all that much of a threat as it was built up to be. It goes from being a ‘threat to her safety’, a basic need, to a ‘threat to her sense of belonging’, a psychological need. One is less of an immediate threat to her physical being and ergo holds less tension. 

Even Hookfoot Admits He’s Useless to the Story

Look, pointing out the flaws in your story doesn’t make them any less of a flaw. I like Hoofoot, but he adds literally nothing to the series. There’s was no need to include him if you weren’t actually going to tie him to the plot. Just like Monty, Friedborg, Willow, and Axel; Hoofoot is a character who could have been exercised from the show and it wouldn’t have changed much of anything other than to give more screen time to the actual plot and main characters. 

And for those who want to come at me for saying they should get rid of the tokenistic disabled rep, just remember there was no reason why Lance couldn’t have served both functions in the story. He could have been both disabled and black, while carrying all of Hookfoot’s episodes and being part of the ongoing plot. Much in the same way that Xavier and Monty should have been streamlined; combining both Lance and Hookfoot into one person would have left us with a more rounded character and a more focused show overall. 

Varian Isn’t Lying Here

Look, just cause he’s the villain doesn’t mean he’s exaggerating the truth. Someone on tv tropes tried to claim that Varian was being unreasonable in accusing Frederic of ‘villfing’ him, but uh, no, that’s exactly what the king did. We got the on screen evidence for it back in Quest for Varain. It’s also true that he’s been keeping the rocks secret, lying to the populous, and has thereby endangered many of his citizens.   

Cap is the Only Parent on this Show to Get Called Out, Recognize his Failings, and Actively Change His Ways....and the Show Still Messes this up by Having Cass Apologize to Him?

Cap is the best parent in the show, hands down, but that’s a very low bar to clear. What makes him the best parent is that he admits his faults and goes to great lengths to fix them. He never goes back or reverts to old ways and doesn’t offer excuses for his behavior. 

But the show seems to think that you should forgive dad’s just because they’re dad’s, not because they’ve actually done anything to earn that forgiveness. That’s why Cass interrupting Cap’s apology to apologize herself doesn’t work here. She, and no other other child on this show, owes him (or any parent) such an apology and Chris can go stick a rusty nail up his butt for ever suggesting otherwise.  

Oh, Look, Cassandra Getting What She Wants, Again

What is this? The fifth or sixth time now that Cass has been rewarded by the narrative? Gee, it’s almost like she doesn't really have anything to complain about in seasons two and three. 

Varian isn’t Harming ‘Innocents’ Here

Remember when I said that Varian is both the victim and the villian? That’s reflected in who he actually attacks. Arianna, the guards, Cass, Eugene, ect. are all enablers for his abusers. They’ve knowingly chosen to side with a dictator who has repeatedly done unacceptable things. The guards and the main cast at least are very well aware of the truth. As to whether or not Arianna knew of the full details behind Varian’s treatment, she does know about Frederic’s past actions and has excused them for years.   

That doesn’t make Varian treatment of her, or others like her, right, but Arianna isn’t blamess either. 

If you’re a person with power who is attached to a system of government who goes on to uphold corruption, and remain silent in the face of that corruption, you become a part of the problem. You become the oppressor even if you’re not directly involved in the more violent events yourself or even personally hold the views of the person committing those violent acts. 

A queen is responsible for a her people and she abandons that responsibility by staying with Frederic and supporting him. 

Turning his Pet into a Mutant Monster is the Only Time Varian Hurts Someone Who Isn’t Involved 

As I said, Varian is a villian. I’m not going to act like he doesn’t do bad things or that all of his actions are justifiable. The reason I’ve gone into great detail about Varian’s reasonings into what he does isn’t to excuse his actions; it’s to point out that ‘heroes’ are every bit as much to blame as he is. 

Everyone is at fault here; not just Varian, not just the King, not just Rapunzel ect. But the show forces Varian to carry all of the blame regardless. Which is why the show fails. You can’t set up a morally complex situation like this and not follow through on it completely. Failing to do so winds up reflecting poorly upon the writers and those that try to excuse them. 

Conclusion 

Dang, this took forever. This is why I’m following Disney’s lead and splitting the review into two parts. Come back tomorrow, where hopefully part two will be up. 

[otheenglishsetters]

WIP (AKA, I never published my work on Tumblr before and I am TERRIFIED)

Hello! I finally gave in and splurged on a Xbox this year, which may have also coincided with my rising anxiety and boredom since I’ve decided to take a year off of college (my senior year to be exact). Luckily, my boyfriend and friends, knowing how I tend to throw myself into fictional worlds when I am stressed had recommended to me this sweet little game series. It was filled with space and wonder and characters so wonderful that they will make your heart hurt.

That, dear readers, was Mass Effect. 

I had already played a little of the first game of the original trilogy at the very beginning of 2020 at my boyfriend’s house, long before all of my post-college plans came crashing down (as did the world too!) 

So I finally invested my time (and money) into Mass Effect Andromeda in November of 2020. Let me tell you, after loosing control over everything else in my life [laying panicked in bed, constantly praying that the pandemic would not claim the life of my middle aged father after already losing my mother to lung cancer just two years prior], it was unbelievably refreshing to be able to have some resemblance of control in this fictional world (And yes, I realize that this is a video game and of course I have control). And the fact that what Bioware was doing was...pretty freaking great.

So, I apologize if this is coming off a pity-party, I promise, it isn’t supposed to be. It’s more like I had just finished my first playthrough of my first videogame ever and I am filled with feelings and emotions. I never post original content on Tumblr, and that’s mostly because I got scared off posting my work after receiving mean-spirited reviews when I posted my fanfiction on Fanfiction.com years and years ago (which is fair, because looking back my work wasn’t that great, but holy crap I was 14 guys!) I have not written creatively since my high school creative writing class in senior year, but this game and this winter, I thought I would try? And hopefully get to connect with other fans? Let me know what you guys think; I’m planning to add more chapters/content soon. Okay, I’ll quit rambling...

He notices that she tends to have a lazy eye. He’s not sure when exactly he notices this, but it’s becoming more and more apparent.

Which is not a problem, absolutely not. In fact, he thinks it’s adorable in a way, especially when she’s tucked into a pillow and loudly craving sushi. 

“I wondered if she was mocking me,” Keema notes one day. Out of all the Angara Reyes has had the pleasure to meet, she still seems one of the few who can truly read humans in a non-lateral sense. Her favorite so far was when she discovered the music genres of both EDM and metal in the same day, “it wasn’t until I was approving shipping orders from the docks the other day I realized why. The Pathfinder needs glasses.”

She also loses control of her lazy eye, it seems, mostly at night, usually by 2300 hours standard time. 

“I’ve been reading studies about team bonding.”

He hums as he rubs her back. Sara, despite commenting on the numerous things she’s done throughout her day, seems wired and intent on rambling. He’s okay with that. More than okay, it’s been years practically since either of them has had a free moment to even been able to just relax in bed and daydream. They probably both haven’t been able to enjoy this luxury since they were…teens? Finishing school and about to launch themselves into the military? For him, he figures it was before that, probably when he decided to work for that florist at 12. Sara gives bits and pieces of her life in the Milky Way but he thinks she was definitely a kid who tried to ‘help’ C-Sec with their cases, constantly looking for ways to help people in any way she can. He smiles. It’s probably a never-ending itch for her. 

And now? He’s just content that he convinced her to come down to Kadara to ‘inspect Ditaeon’, or whatever bullshit she told Tann. Luckily, it seems that life is, slower? No, that’s not it, people are more than excited to create themselves anew here. Stores and trading posts are popping up everywhere and another hospital has just been built in Prodromos. There’s practically a whole shopping district in Kadara now, with outdoor venues and a movie theater that plays cinema classics every night. It’s more like they both are finally properly settled into their positions, like when a CEO is situated in a new company. Sure, the CEO may face numerous problems at first, especially if it’s during a recession or the company is about to go bankrupt. The CEO may even have to intimidate secondary managers and fight to gain respect; however, once the dust settles, whilst there may be everyday problems, it’s nothing compared to what it used to be. Usually, these problems are solved by lunchtime, mid-morning if either of them are lucky.

In the old days, when she appeared to be this amped up, Reyes would subtly (or not so subtle, it depends on how you look at it), swoon her until they had sex. It probably didn’t feel that way at the time, but sometimes Reyes cringes when he thinks of how rushed their attempts at romance used to be. Back then, they didn’t know how long she would be in the area and they would race to make the most of the evening. Now he wonders how much he used to unconsciously push aside the thought that either one of them could be dead the next day. 

Errrr. Negative bedtime thoughts. Not good for sleepytime. 

“Darling?”

“Yes?”

“Are you listening?”

“You were just telling me how you were reading various theses on social exchange theory but then you were already anxious about the thing that you have yet to tell me so you decided to read something familiar like one of the works by Dr. Brené Brown,” he pauses to give a quick glance at the data pad in his right hand. “Mi cielo, I have been informed to tell you that your contacts have been delivered as they were just sent in, along with the rest of the Tempest’s supplies, this morning.” 

He liked to think he was a good boyfriend.

“I hate when you do that.”

“What?” Listen? Dearest, it’s part of the job description as your lover. Speaking of, remind me to pick up toilet paper tomorrow.”

“No, multitask.”

He sighs and reaches up into the upper center of her back. Oof, she really is tense there. “You do it too.”

“Not at nighttime!” She scowls and rubs her eyebrow. “Ew, when did I become an old prune as soon as it gets dark?”

He starts tenderizing the hard muscle. Mentally, he makes a note to remind her later when she’s not grumpy to do her prescribed yoga. “We’re all getting older dear. I’m thirty-one and the other day I heard my knees crack.” 

She was silent. Any other fool would think that she was lost in thought while others would be jealous of the close bond she shares with her AI. Honestly, Reyes is just grateful she spends any of her time with him, let alone his bed. And if she occupies a part of it in a mental showdown with SAM, who is he to complain. 

“SAM thinks you should get an appointment. Even if Dr. Nakamoto is busy, there’s plenty of others who are just as qualified. Also, I think Peebee and Jaal are sleeping with each other.” 

  Both he and Sara know the in(s) and the outs of their jobs so well by now, that he can probably predict easily what his men will ask for even before the message is downloaded on his office’ terminal. However right now, as Reyes stops reading a report on corn being grown on Havarl that he already skimmed over this morning over his huevos rancheros, all he can think about before checking to see if he is correct is how her left non-dominant eye is floating far out to the side. 

Hmmm, who knew fraternization would be cutting into his beauty sleep? 

*************************************************

If you made it this far, thanks so much for checking this out! I apologize for any grammar mistakes. If you’re confused, this is set to take place three years after the Hyperion first makes contact with the Nexus in the Andromeda Galaxy. I was just so intrigued by the dialogue between Jaal and Peebee. And then, after the initial curiosity, I was about to forget about it when I came across some interesting dialogue while driving the Nomad...

Jaal: Vetra, I catch Peebee looking at me. Frequently.

Vetra: Peebee likes new shiny things. Uhh… and why not? You’re genuinely interesting.

#

Jaal: Vetra, remember when I told you that Peebee was looking at me? Frequently?

Vetra: Yeah? Is it getting annoying? Want me to say something?

Jaal: No, no, no. It’s… just that… lately, I find myself… looking back. 

Vetra: Huh.

**

So of course I had to dig into that! And what better way to do so than by using my new favorite ship: Reyes and Sara? (Domestic times!)

Anyways friends, hopefully my writing isn’t awful and you enjoyed yourselves. I may wake up in the morning and delete this. Who knows. 

Have a great day guys!

[veliseraptor]

Top 5 'this line stabbed me in the soul' lines from books?

Oh man this is hard because I’m not always great at remembering quotes? But here’s a go at it, anyway. Some of these are less “ouch” than they are “oh fuck” which are often adjacent but not necessarily the same.

1. “What, anyway, was he to say? That intelligence could surpass and excel the blind force of evolution, with its emphasis on mutation, struggle, and death? That conscious cooperation was more efficient than feral competition? That Azad could be so much more than a mere battle, if it was used to articulate, to communicate, to define…? He’d done all that, said all that, and said it better than he ever could now.” -The Player of Games by Iain M. Banks

This is kind of a weird one, but this was a book that had been on my shelf for years that I finally read last December, and it promptly was like. a) shit do I know anyone who has read this so I can talk about it with them and b) I wonder if Ann Leckie has read this.

I don’t...really know how to explain my reaction to this quote, other than the ways that it is in the context of a man who has been invited to play this game, Azad, on which the structure of a fictional society/empire is based. It is a ruthlessly competitive game, and people are defined by their place in it. This bit is...about one of the central theses of this book, I think, which is the value of cooperation, of communication, of connection, over competition and subjugation. 

2. “Why? I made one mistake. Who doesn’t? But I despised men who accepted their fate. I shaped mine twenty times and had it broken twenty times in my hands. Of course it left me deformed and unserviceable, defective and dangerous to associate with…But what in God’s name has happened to charity?” -A Game of Kings by Dorothy Dunnett

I probably could’ve filled this whole list with Dorothy Dunnett lines because she is very good at punching me in the feelings on the regular, but I’m sticking to one and I chose this one from the first book in the Lymond Chronicles. It’s a defense and it isn’t. It comes at a profound low point; it comes, in fact, as part of a general plea for death and immediately before a suicide attempt. 

Just...god! I’ve talked a lot about how much I have feelings about characters who fight, fight, fight for their place in the world, no matter how many times they are broken, no matter how poorly they end up put back together, no matter what hideous thing it makes of them...

And at the same time: what in God’s name has happened to charity? That piece of this reminds me, a little, of the issue of the comic Animal Man that I still think about sometimes - the bit that includes maybe, for once, we could try to be kind.

3. “I don’t know at what point Jedao stopped regarding himself as a person, but once he decided he was a gun, everyone turned into a target.” -Raven Stratagem by Yoon Ha Lee

I’m so glad to have just seen you talk about Machineries of Empire because MACHINERIES OF EMPIRE and specifically Jedao and how much Jedao is designed to be My Type, and this line and...I mean, I was just talking about themes of agency and personhood and isn’t that just what this is.

And also just. A gorgeous turn/twist of phrase. Well done, Yoon Ha Lee, well done.

4. “That's how you get deathless, volchitsa. Walk the same tale over and over, until you wear a groove in the world, until even if you vanished, the tale would keep turning, keep playing, like a phonograph, and you'd have to get up again, even with a bullet through your eye, to play your part and say your lines.” -Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente

Narrative, the driving power of narrative, the way it shapes the figures in them, the way you become what you behave...in general I think Valente is one of my favorite prosaists and I think Deathless might be my favorite of her books that I’ve read so far, and I keep coming back to this quote.

5. “Thus it was that the great mariners among them would still search the empty seas, hoping to come upon the Isle of Meneltarma, and there to see a vision of things that were. But they found it not. And those that sailed far came only to the new lands, and found them like to the old lands, and subject to death. And those that sailed furthest set but a girdle about the Earth and returned weary at last to the place of their beginning, and they said: ‘All roads are now bent.’” -The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien

Going to find this quote made me feel the burning sudden need to reread the Silm, so, whoops. And there are a few different quotes I could choose from it! Thought about the Doom of the Noldor, thought about the description of Fingolfin’s last stand, though about the last line of the Silmarillion section of the book (”if it has passed from the high and the beautiful to darkness and ruin”), and as I write this - well, those are all thematically aligned, aren’t they? And specifically thematically aligned with the thing I wrote my goddamn thesis about.

I just...I very, very much vibe with the melancholy of The Silmarillion. I respect Tolkien’s desire for eucatastrophe, but I think what I always come back to with Tolkien is the sorrow, is the deep sense of loss that permeates so much of his work. Victories are partial and conditional; the world is in a state of decline. Such is the fate of Arda Marred. There’s just such a sadness, there, but it’s a beautiful kind of sadness. Melancholy.

And while on the whole the Akallabeth is not my favorite section, this bit of its closing is just - I find it so beautiful, and resonant in its longing and desire for things that were - not in the sense of concrete history but in the sense of wonder, and the sense of something better that was lost. The phrase all roads are now bent just - oof. It makes me feel things in a way that I don’t always know how to handle.

And I mean. Mary Oliver punches me in the soul on the regular, but I feel like if I used quotes from her here it would just be. All five. Or at least three of five. 

[apparentlynotreallyfinnish]

M/M Book Recs

In addition to fic I’ve read a lot of m/m novels recently. Most of theses are books I’ve been screaming about to anyone who’s willing to listen but I thought some of y’all might enjoy them too!

The synopses are in italics. (Some are bastardized from Goodreads. Those are marked GR.) I’ve also added my thoughts on the book and some content warnings. 

Red, White and Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston

What happens when America's First Son falls in love with the Prince of Wales? (GR)

Appa’s rec: 5/5 If you haven’t read this yet, this is the first one you have to pick up. The chemistry of the main characters is delicious. It’s basically a enemies-to-lovers story with awesome supporting characters and a little bit of international politics thrown in. There are some steamy sex scenes just a step below pure smut. Alex and Henry stole my heart and I will definitely be reading this book again and again.

Him - Sarina Bowen, Elle Kennedy 

(also, book two: Us and a novella: Epic)

Ryan Wesley’s biggest regret is coaxing his very straight friend, James Canning, into a bet that pushed the boundaries of their relationship. Now, with their college teams set to face off at the national championship, he’ll finally get a chance to apologize. But all it takes is one look at his longtime crush, and the ache is stronger than ever.  Jamie has waited a long time for answers, but walks away with only more questions—can one night of sex ruin a friendship? If not, how about six more weeks of it?  (GR)

Appa’s rec: 5/5 Ryan and Jamie broke me a little. This might be my favorite m/m book ever. The first book is a smutty masterpiece and the second book is an angsty heartbreaker with a happy ending. Highly recommend even if you don’t like hockey. The audio books are amazing as well. (I’d probably listen Teddy Hamilton to read my grocery list and swoon...)

Top Secret - Sarina Bowen, Elle Kennedy

Keaton and Luke are housemates. They are in a frat together. Luke thinks Keaton is a privileged idiot. Keaton thinks Luke is a grumpy asshole. They are both running for frat president. Keaton’s longtime girlfriend wants a threesome for her birthday. Keaton goes on an app to find them a guy and accidentally matches with Luke. They start texting anonymously. 

Appa’s rec: 4,5/5 There was some frat bro shenanigans that made me roll my eyes a bunch and dock 0,5 stars from my rating but other than that this book is amazing! I mean, lots of sexting, Keaton discovering his sexuality, and oh, did I mention that Luke is a stripper?! The smut is smutty and the angst is delicious. Content warning: parental abuse (mostly mental)

The Spiral Down - Aly Martinez

Henry Alexander is a famous pop star with a dark past and a very bad case of flying phobia. He’s also openly gay. After Evan Roth, a pilot, helps him through a flight and a panic attack Henry is obsessed, but Evan has his own demons that complicate their relationship to the point of breaking.

Appa’s rec: 4/5 Some solid smut, angst and a fluffy, happy ending. I highly recommend the audio book. Both readers were wonderful and I almost listened the whole thing in one sitting. I was obsessed!

Trading Teams - Romeo Alexander

Jake thought he had life all figured out. He had the perfect girlfriend, a starting position on the Varsity baseball team, and a raging social life. He was living the dream. That is, until he discovers that he’s in danger of losing his scholarship.  For Kyle, college was only a formality. He didn’t need the degree, and he barely attended his classes and still passed with flying colors. Instead of sitting in class, he’d rather be chasing his true passion—designing and programming an original MMORPG game. Kyle doesn’t need a social life, and he definitely doesn’t need a boyfriend, especially because that would require stepping out of the closet, something he has no intention of doing any time soon. (GR)

Appa’s rec: 3/5 Cute jock/nerd romance with some steamy smut. Not the greatest story but a good time!

Lock & West - Alexander C. Eberhart

Lock is awkward. He can’t make eye contact, counts when he’s nervous and has to remind himself several times a day how ‘normal’ teens behave. Homeschooled most of his life, he’s resigned himself to a friendless existence at his new Atlanta high school. Until he meets West. West has everything. Looks. Talent. Money. And secrets… so many secrets. Beneath the surface of West’s perfect existence is a pain he’s buried so deep a million therapists couldn’t unearth it and he’s determined to keep it that way. He’s an actor. He can act normal. (GR)

Appa’s rec: 4/5 This is a YA romance with some heavy, heavy stuff. Only read if you can deal with a lot of angst. (CW: eating disorders, sexual abuse, rape, parental abuse and post traumatic stress disorder). There is some light smut but it isn’t as explicit as in the previous recs. I really enjoyed this book despite the dark themes.

There Goes Sunday School -  Alexander C. Eberhart 

In sixteen-year-old Mike Hernandez’s life, only one thing is clear: Gay is NOT okay. His family’s life revolves around the church, so Mike has resolved to spend his life in the closet. His only escape—besides the occasional, anonymous gay make-out session—are his risqué drawings.

When his sketchbook goes missing in the middle of Sunday school, Mike is sure his life is over. What’s worse, the pastor’s son, Chris, suddenly seems hell-bent on adopting Mike and his friends and he has no idea why. When an awkward confrontation with Chris leads to an unexpected kiss instead of a much-expected punch, Mike’s world is turned upside down. (GR) 

Appa’s rec: 4/5 Obvious content warning for homophobia and religious guilt. This wasn’t as angsty and dark as Eberhart’s other book but there are some heavy stuff with homophobic parents and community. Some light smut. Heavy on the religion stuff. The main character is very sweet and conflicted. A good YA read if you don’t mind the religious aspects. 

Heartstopper vol 1 - Alice Oseman

Charlie Spring is in Year 10 at Truham Grammar School for Boys. The past year hasn't been too great, but at least he's not being bullied anymore, and he's sort of got a boyfriend, even if he's kind of mean and only wants to meet up in secret. Nick Nelson is in Year 11 and on the school rugby team. Nick and Charlie are placed in the same form group and made to sit together. They quickly become friends, and soon Charlie is falling hard for Nick, even though he doesn't think he has a chance. (GR)

Appa’s rec: 5/5 This is a web comic made into books. There are three volumes out so far. I’ve read the first two. (You can find all of these on the web still and there will be more volumes.) Oh my god, this is the sweetest story ever and the drawings are adorable. A quick read that will stay with you for a long time. Light angst and a lot of fluff. 

[dangan-imagine-plus]

Anon asked: How about Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Korekiyo Shinguji, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, and Gundham Tanaka with a transmale (ftm) s/o? Maybe just hurt and comfort? Ya boi needs some hurt/comfort with his favorite characters at the moment, ya know? And if ya don't wanna do some of the characters that's fine, any characters will do!

Do not look at me, I feel like this is the worse thing I’ve written.

This three are some of the hardest characters to write so im so so sorry if theses are

1. Short

2. Poorly witten

3.Over all sucky

This ask had been in my inbox for about a week and i spent that time trying to write something for it.

Also, its a newer added rule but i don’t feel comfortable writing romantic relationships with Korekiyo, sorry.

Ishimaru, Fuyuhiko, and Gundhan with a trans (FTM) S/O, Hurt/comfort

(TW: Mentions of transphobia)

Ishimaru Kiyotaka

Taka knew for a while that his S/O was a trans male and he supported him 100%

He may have been confused at first but when he learned more he understood more

And he knew that some people aren’t as supportive as him

One day when he went to visit S/O he found him crying

Taka was very concerned, asking him what's wrong

“S/O! Are you okay? What happened?”

He didn’t say anything, it seemed like he was too upset to so taka sat down with and tried calming him down so they could talk

Once S/O was more calmed Taka asked again what happened

S/O had explained that some people were bullying him and saying many transphobic things

This shocked Taka, why on Earth would someone say/do such a thing!?

After S/O had explained Taka went on a long rant about how perfect S/O was and not to listen to whatever those bullies said!

After that, he requested a hug

Which S/O agreed, and got a hug from Taka!

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

When His S/O hold him about being trans he didn’t care

Like whatever? You a dude, he’s always known him as a guy

Once day when he saw S/O he noticed that he seemed upset 

“Whats up S/O? You seem bothered”

He asked, catching S/O attention who happened realized Fuyuhiko was there

“Oh… it's nothing!”

S/O replied simply, and obviously a lie

“It doesn’t seem like nothing if upset about it”

Fuyuhiko huffed

“Ah… i guess i can’t hide it…”

S/O explained that he ran into  some people spewing some transphobic bs and it just made him upset

“It’s kinda stupid heh, i mean it wasn’t even directed at me”

S/O laughed it off

“It’s not stupid, don’t say shit like that, if it made you upset its not stupid”

Fuyuhiko was pretty upset too after hearing that, some people are assholes

And he those S/O so

Some people are just assholes who don’t care for others feelings, and so you shouldn't care how they feel.

Punch them in the face!

No don’t do that

Maybe do

Gundham Tanaka

 Gundham thinks it’s interesting about his S/O being trans, he didn’t know a lot about it but he was more than expecting

He’s willing to learn more about the topic 

When he saw you upset he was worried 

He asked him what was wrong

When S/O told him about someone saying transphobic toward them

Gundhan was angered someone would ever say such offensive things to someone

He vowed that he’d put a curse on who ever said that

Which made S/O laugh, he was very glad to have Gundham with him

~~~~~~

Why was it so fuckign hard to put this post together, the picture kept getting deleted for no reason

[smokeybrand]

Rise of the Skywalker

This sh*t with Lucasfilm is wild to witness. I’m not really one to buy into entertainment gossip but i am emotionally invested in Star Wars. I’m an Eighties kid, man. Star Wars helped to shape our childhood growing up. Vader is one of my all-time favorite antagonists. Ahsoka has grown to rival him in my heart as a beloved character. As a cat who creates, myself, i can’t help but adore the passion and creativity i n the entire world lore around the Skywalker legend. I mean, look at everything built around those first three films. Just taking Legends into account, you have the absolutely excellent Shadows of the Empire and the Thrawn trilogy. More than that, and probably one of the best game franchises ever realized, you have The Knight of the Old Republic. F*ck, dude, Revan? Nihilus? Bastila? Kreia? HK-47? This is Bioware at it’s finest, save Mass Effect 2. And then Disney cam in and f*cked it all up.

Kathleen Kennedy has been a poison to the franchise, and not because of her identity politics. Look, you can work in your ideals and messages without being so goddamn heavy-handed with it but this chick, and her “writer’s group.” can’t craft a story to save their lives. That’s the problem here. Not Rey or Finn or Poe. Not Holdo or Rose Tico. Not even Snoke. It’s how these characters were presented, it’s how the writing shaped them. I’ve written at length about how Rey was a missed opportunity and, according to the original leaked treatment, that misstep was more like an outright face-plant The Rey that was to grow throughout the Sequel trilogy, culminating in a battle between a fully realized, Jedi Knight Rey and a fully realized Sith Lord Ren, should have been the Last Jedi we got. Instead, we got what we got and it shattered the credibility of the entire franchise. Star Wars, the most successful franchise in cinematic history until the MCU came through, was on life support. Forty years of solid, narrative storytelling, ancillary material, and fan passion, squandered because the chick in charge wanted to instill everything with her identity politics, using something she had no creative credit toward, co-opting the shine of another, to secure her legacy. And she did just that; Kathleen Kennedy was the person who almost killed Star Wars. Kennedy’s legacy of failure, secure. But then, a new hope. Jon Favreau, the progenitor of the MCU, stepped forward and saved Star Wars with his show, The Mandalorian.

John Favreau is a great creator. Dude not only gave us Iron Man, but Chef, Swingers, and Elf. He gets the content but, more than anything, Favreau understands how to craft a goddamn story. He was appointed to The Mandalorian and given creative control by, at the time, CEO of Disney, Bob Iger. Favreau, in partnership with the genius pariah, Dave Filoni, architect of Star Wars: Clone Wars, Rebels, and the best f*cking character created in the modern era, Ahsoka Tano. With theses two at the helm, Mando returned to the true essence of a Star Wars tale. They created their own pocket universe, one with the evolution of the Mandalorian culture and sprinkled with shenanigans of an adorable, and marketable, Baby Yoda. That first season gave us amazing characters like Din Djaran, Cara Dune, Greef Kaga, and Moff Gideon. That first season of Mando saved the franchises and that is not an exaggeration. It felt like Star Wars. The characters were rich and developed. More than anything, the stories told were absolutely excellent. The funny thing about that? Mando isn’t expected to succeed like it did. No, everyone, including Kennedy, thought it was going to fail. She fought, tooth and nail, against what Favreu was trying to created, sabotaging him at every turn. But he was able to complete his show and the fandom received it with utmost fervor, eclipsing anything Kennedy and her idealouges every created. Then season two dropped.

I’m not going to sit her and say that the narrative for Season two was better than the first. It wasn’t. But that’s because season two of The Mandalorian was a love letter to the fans. Favreau and Filoni had a hit on their hands with Mando and, more importantly, they made Star Wars profitable again. This gave the two of them a margin of creative freedom that expanded into something truly marvelous. That second season of Mando was able to dig deep into the lore, introduce fan favorite characters like Ahsoka Tano and Bo-Katan Kreyze, reintroducing Boba Fett while giving him a bad-ass second in Fennec Shand, while expanding the universe for spin-offs and delivery a franchise altering return of a Jedi Knight, Luke Skywalker! Kennedy spent her entire sequel trilogy, discrediting and marginalizing the old trilogy, typified by the complete destruction of Luke in The Last Jedi, only for Mando to overturn, redeem, and empower Luke with a two minute gauntlet of Force awesomeness that rivaled the utter dominance displayed by his father at the end of Rogue One. That tidbit about Vader? Yeah, Kennedy fought against that, too. The Mando came through and proved that fallowing Lucas’ path was the true way of the Star War and Chepek agreed. We now have this entire blueprint of shows birthed from this one season, that will build toward an Avengers-level event. Ahsoka, Rangers of the New Republic, and The Book of Boba Fett will all culminate in a cinematic experience, most likely a theatrical film, based around Thrawn. And, more to the point, people are excited about this sh*t. People are looking forward to this sh*t. People want this sh*t. What they don’t want is more of Kennedy’s politics and bullsh*t hot-takes, masquerading as Star Wars canon. Case in point, the abject failure of The High Republic.

Before Favreau and Filoni came through and saved Star Wars, Kennedy had this entire idea for a full-on Star Wars universe, built upon token diversity and f*cking Space dinosaurs. There was a pitch meeting that showed a literal checklist and story was the third or fourth option. How the f*ck is story not the first thing on the list for an actual narrative you’re writing? Why the f*ck isn’t the Writer’s group, not putting story first, in a narrative they’re constructing by committee? That is the genesis of The High Republic. In the time that Youtube preview hit the fandom with all the force of a wet fart, Mando came through and proved no one wants that sh*t. Then season two came through and rived people want more Luke and more Lucas Star Wars, weeks before The High Republic, the jumping off point for Kennedy’s original vision for “New Star Wars” was supposed to launch. Yeah, that launch ain’t go so well. The High Republic is out, right now, and you can buy it. No one is buying it. They’re all paying for Disney+ memberships to watch Mando sh*t on everything Kennedy has done or will do. Disney announced a whole slate of Star Wars shows and material. One of which is The Acolyte, a spin-off from The High Republic tarring Brie Larson and written by Leslye Headland. The Acolyte is going to bomb for the same reasons The High Republic is bombing; No one wants to be preached to and that’s all these woke, blue hairs, want to do. I know that because they’ve told you as such.

The Force is Female. All of that sh*t with Pablo Hidalgo. The recent controversy of Justina Ireland telling people not to buy The High Republic if they don’t agree with her politics. The fact that Kathleen Kennedy has been trying to get Favreau fired for “sabotaging” her High Republic launch by redeeming Luke and galvanizing the entire fandom. The thing about this, though, is the fact that everything Kennedy has crated, is creatively bankrupt. Everything Favreau and Filoni have built with Mando, has been genuine, organic, and fun. Just to be clear, i actually like Brie Larson. I think she’s an excellent actress with very valid opinions. I think the sh*t she wants to make should be made. I don’t think she should co-opt a long running franchise with decades of lore and a ravenous fandom who are already on the outs with the current management of their beloved franchise. I can’t say i like Headland but i did adore her Netlfix show, Russian Doll. that sh*t was hilarious and dope. I don’t think her type of film making lends itself to Star Wars, however, for he same reason i don’t think Larson should have a show in the fandom either. Having opinions is fine. Installing those opinions in your writing is fine. Installing your opinions in an established property is not fine. You can do that, Back Panther was able to integrate that sh*t successfully, but they did it nuance. It didn’t get clumsy and ridiculous until the end. Kennedy’s writing group started with the awkward preaching. Those weren’t the droids yo were looking for, bro.

Ultimately, The High Republic is going to fail, as will the rest of Kennedy’s Star Wars legacy. Favreau is already working toward altering her most precious OC, Rey Palpatine. There are plans in the works to make her a Kenobi going forward, redeeming the most egregious of Darth Kennedy’s transgressions, something that wouldn’t even be necessary if they had followed the original treatments JJ left for them going forward. Rey Palpatine should have been Rey Skywalker. She should have been Luke’s daughter. She should have been trained by her pops and took that discipline into the final film where she and her cousin would have a proper reckoning. Rey should have been a proper character with an established legacy. Kennedy decided otherwise and in that hubris, she failed. She has failed, not because she is a Femanzi or has an eye toward activism or an agenda to push. Kennedy has failed because she decided to heavy-handedly force those politics down our throats with no nuance or grace, by slighting everything that came before with malicious intent, while bolstering her analogous creations with the worst kind of writing and non-existent development. Favreau succeeded by weaving a compelling tale, that mirrored the Hero’s tale which has been the bread-and-butter of a great Star Wars narrative, filled it with realized characters who became fast fan favorites, staunched in the lore that came before. He respected the genesis and built something great from it, while revering the stuff which came before. Kennedy thought she was bigger than the franchise. Favreau understands he is in service to it. That’s the difference, That’s why Mando is succeeding and The High Republic has been laid low.

[beautifulstarsbeastars]

Characters I Would Have Liked to See More of in Beastars (before it ended)

(Note: I haven’t yet read the final chapter as I can’t seem to find it anywhere, this list refers to characters who weren’t seen/were absent in the 160′s to early 190′s chapters)

Kyuu - She appeared in the mid to late 180′s chapters but then randomly disappeared (where’d ya go, Kyuu?!). Right when it looked like we were getting some character development from her too!

Gouhin - He lives in the Black Market right? Wouldn’t the Turf War wake him up? If he had lived there for years, why didn’t he give Legosi advice for how Turf Wars normally play out?

Pretty much everyone in Cherryton - The chapter about Bill, Pina, and Aoba finding the chick and taking care of it is absolutely adorable and is one of my favorite chapters! Why didn’t we get a side plot involoving these three and their many misadventures?

Juno - I like her charcater desgin but I feel like she got the short end when it comes to charcater development/appearences in the manga (among many other characters). I wish we got a chapter centered around her and her story.

Sebun/Sevan(?) - Did she ever get a happy ending regarding her job and (idiot)co-workers?

Els - remember how desperate she was to live when she thought Legosi was going to eat her in the first chapter of the manga? Or how she disagreed with the changes at the school? What happened to that fire?

Mizuchi - Ok, I know she’s not very well-liked (is she more hated than Melon or is it just me?) but, seriously, we only see her for the first few chapters and then she’s never seen or heard from again. What happend to her? Did she finally realize her boyfriend was an idiot who couldn’t ‘keep it in his pants’ or is she still just as one-sided as the last time we saw her? I know she’s a bully (and kind of a b!tch) but I really love her design-that half black, half white fur coloring is so cool!

Drama club - Louis and Legosi are gone...What are theses guys up to nowadays?

Legosi’s other neighbors - Did we seriously only see them all that one time?!

Jack and the Room 701 dogs - “Who let the dogs out?!” (Seriously though, where are they?

Rokume - I legit forgot this character existed. Why did she only appear once and was never seen again?!

That’s all the ones I can think of at the top of my head. Who do you wish we saw more?

[whimsicottonnee]

The Thesis of Pokemon Games : Why The Galar Region and SWSH Games Offers a Complete Reworking of the Series’ Central Thesis

 Pokémon as a plot-driven series can, first and foremost, be characterized by its insistence on the dual concepts of nostalgia and locality : particularly when combined as ‘local nostalgia.’

I’m not really going to go into my whole argument of how this is pulled off by the game developers and which aspects best contribute and remind us of ‘local nostalgia’ because most of us already know. All it takes is one listen of the ost for Twinleaf Town or Aspertia Town for players to become intensely nostalgic for older games. The running theme of the player’s mother, in my opinion, is one of the major keys to achieving this, as well.

So, the theses of pokémon games (or at least a good number of them!!) deal with the player’s local sphere and the expansion of it. It’s a game about going off to college or just simply moving away from home. It doesn’t have to be the player’s lifelong home, necessarily. Shadows of Almia, the Hoenn games, and the Alola games are the best examples I can think of where expanding your local sphere does not necessarily mean that the player’s never been outside of the in-game residence before. But despite being from another region, Chicole Village is undoubtedly the player’s home in Shadows of Almia. Partner Farm is the bedrock to which the player returns, repeatedly, to meet old friends and family before embarking off again to an adventure even further away. In the Alola games, the player has recently moved from Kanto, yet it’s clear through gameplay and character interactions that the player considers Hau’oli Outskirts to be their home. The player’s mother, equally key to constructing a hometown as the score partnered with it, is another symbol of nostalgia. The game’s storytelling, in most if not every game, is designed so that the player only knows their mother as a kind, warm, supportive, and ever welcoming presence : home is where the heart lies or “east or west, home is best.” So, in embarking from these cozy, nostalgic areas with the warm wishes of your mother, the innocent aspiration of moving out is well-portrayed in the series.

Here is where ‘backyard theory,’ as I like to call it, begins. The player (save for the Galar player, who routinely has the secret of meeting characters and locations spoiled by Hop) has very little, if any, knowledge of the region that surrounds their cozy hometown. The player must gain their first pokémon and travel down unfamiliar routes catching more and more unfamiliar pokémon. There is guidance to the story, of course. Roadblocks are constructed to prevent entering “too-difficult” levels, and a combination of the professor, rivals, and enemies provide incremental story, but there’s room to explore. Some games leave enough room that players get lost their first run-through (@ the Sinnoh and Johto games). Each town is new, and the player is welcome to aimlessly explore these areas : speak with the locals, peek into apartment buildings and chat with the occupants, accept items from kind npcs who reinvigorate the optimistic worldview of the series, etc. In time, the player expects theme songs to play at certain areas, expects the sounds that the pokémon make, and expects dialogue. Previously unfamiliar buildings become “oh that’s Guzma’s dad’s house” or “that’s where the boy who plays Unwavering Emotions lives.” And while this is a mechanic of most games (after all, exploration is a fundamental aspect to rpg), the pokémon games take it further.

Certain symbols become emblematic. The Pokecenter, in particular, becomes a bedrock of nostalgia. It certainly helps that the theme is only altered, never rewritten, between every iteration of the series. Soon, the player’s backyard and local sphere is no longer confined to their hometown but encompasses the entire region. Every player has a ‘first time’ entering Undella Town, but the music becomes hauntingly nostalgic once players have become familiar with it. There’s a reason why, despite only being a route theme, DPPT’s Route 209 got a remix in the latest Smash rather than, say, Sycamore’s Theme.

So, once the climax occurs (be it capturing Giratina or saving N from the actions of his abusive father or helping Lusamine’s loved ones save her from her own derangement), it’s not the Champion-to-Be but instead the local girl from Twinleaf Town with the Eterna Roserade and the Snowbelle Snover and is friends with the swimmer kids down by the resort. The varying plots of the various pokémon games aside, the climax of the series is when the local sphere become the entire region. And it’s at this point that you’ve earned being the Champion, regardless of your team’s coverage and levels.

Alola, in a sense, did one of the best jobs in capitalizing on this universal thesis in making the Champion theme, the player’s theme, an extraordinary remix of the entire game’s theme, but that’s another meal altogether.

 Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield turn all of this on its head. There are so many npcs that the player cannot speak to, and, in most of the larger cities, there are more npcs that the player cannot interact with than there are npcs the player can interact with. Motostoke struck me significantly in the beginning of the game because I ran around the city wondering why there were so many public areas, like shops and boutiques and plot-related venues, that I could explore but only three or four private residences that I could enter. Most npcs are found in passing along the street. As they pass the player, a small speech bubble pops over their head as if they’re mumbling to themself or merely speaking to the player in passing. Fundamentally, the player cannot interact with the locals. Most places that the player does explore is also heavily driven by the plot with either Leon or Hop telling the player to go to them in order to advance the… ‘story.’

The ‘story’ is going gym to gym with repeated encouragement or roadblock without being allowed to consider the weight of heavier concerns : i.e. the chairman killing the entire region through a weirdly futuristic pokémon that supposedly is thousands of years old. Everyone the player can speak with in the towns already knows the player, since the ‘Gym Challenge’ is broadcasted on regional telly for private enjoyment (another mesh of public and private spheres that simply feels jarring for such a private-based series). Many npcs will tell the player “I’m routing for you, you know!” or “You’re my favorite Gym Challenger!” without giving any information about themself. The player no longer expands their local spheres ; they simply allow locals to get to know the regional superstar.

The climax of the game is the player saving Leon after he has already significantly weakened the legendary pokémon on the player’s behalf so that the player may succeed in finishing Eternatus off and capturing it like any other Dynamax pokémon. Thus, the three who ultimately save the region from being sucked of its life by the Darkest Day are the three superstars who have had their entire careers broadcasted regionally on television.

The player’s mom never calls or shows up throughout the game once the player leaves their hometown, and she’s never given a personality. She’s cute, alright. milf rights. But one of the wonders to many other pokémon games is the knowledge that your mother had something similar once. I’ve been referencing the Sinnoh, Unova, and Alola games a lot, but I truly think these games understood ‘local nostalgia’ the best of the main series games. In the Sinnoh games, the player’s mother shows up in Hearthome and speaks of old days in the Contest Hall. In Unova, the player’s mom seems well-acquainted with cleaning up the mess left after pokémon battles. In Kalos, once of the more shallow games in the series for local nostalgia, the player’s mom was a famous Rhyhorn racer with a story of her own. In Alola, the player’s mom’s Meowth and her friendship with Kukui paint her character vibrantly ; it also certainly helps that one of the end cutscenes to the game is the reiteration of the first cutscene with her on the deck relishing the Alolan sea breeze. In Galar, however, there is none of that characterization. Her own pokémon, a Kanto Munchlax, says nothing of her character ; why not give her something that lets the player understand that she is a Galarian village mom? Give her a Skwovel or a cute Chewtle to characterize her. She never encourages the player to come home for a nap if the player ever gets tired. And, so, despite the hometown theme being really lovely and charming (and the Budews in the front yard being a heartwrench), the idea of nostalgia is almost nonexistent in the game.

My personal take on the nostalgia of Postwick is not within the game itself. It’s more the idea of Postwick, for me. The hype of the game and the humor behind the starter release and the lovely lofi remixes that came out for the trailer themes before the Debates began is what is nostalgic for me. Driving through the desert around the town I live in with the windows down in the one-hundred-degree heat listening to SWSH lofi remixes is what makes me nostalgic for Postwick : not the narrative of the game.

And, while that’s a personal experience, all of the other above reasons are why Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield simply feel hollow. There was a sacrifice of local nostalgia for the sake of how ‘cool’ superstars can be.

[han100894]

Some of My Frustration with NNT

So this is probably going to be a controversial take, but as much as I like NNT, there are things about it that have been bothering me.

One big one is, despite attempting at least lip service, the girls often vastly get overshadowed by the guys.

(Note, this is me airing my frustrations, I still like NNT, I like all of theses ships to some extent, I don’t mean to rain on anyone’s parade. It would be awesome to know if anyone else agrees, but mostly I’m just trying to make myself feel better and honestly it may not be the best written and I’m probably forgetting points that made me feel this way and I’m sure I’ve forgotten things in the Manga itself.)

Just look at the three biggest ships: Kaine, Banlaine, and Melizabeth.

I like Kaine, it was my first favorite ship but… it’s ultimately King’s story. The majority of the focus is on King’s POV and feelings. Even Daine’s memory loss is played more about how he feels than her—she doesn’t even get a chance to get mad at Gowther for it, or for that matter angry at King—no instead King gets mad on her behaft. She gets pulled around by the plot, and the memory loss in particular to give King extra angst. Even her confused feeling for Meliodas are mostly played as comic relief, drama fodder early on with Elizabeth, and to King more angst. We get very little from her POV.

And whenever Diane tries to protect King (In my memory at least) it always backfires on her, leading to King to Angst and “power up” and come to the rescue.

She has no real major victories to her name. Generally in any fight from the second half of arc 1 and moving forward she’s either coached by King (The Vytle festival, he saves Diane and defeats his enemy alone, but Diane needs couching), or King takes the spotlight (fighting Helbram, fighting Mael)

The only plot point she gets on her own is the brief time with Matrona after she loses her memory once again. Otherwise her plotlines are heavily tangled with King’s and again we usually see things from King’s point of view. Even when they both went back to the past Diane ends up goofing off but King notices something is wrong. We just—we never get into her head like we do King. We don’t see anywhere near the kind of character development he has.

And King gets several plots unconnected to Diane, Helbram, the fairy forest, Ban and his sister, his inferiority complex…

I just wish she’s get some focus that didn’t revolve around King (or Mel)—and also that she got a chance to protect King without it instantly backfiring on her or making King feel bad about himself again…

(Also, there is no reason for Diane to be “equivalent of 15” none at all. Made even worse once King gets to go through “fairy puberty” in an instant and grow up something she can’t do (Also why the heck would 700=15 when giants only live to like 2000?)

And then Banlaine:

Let’s be honest, Elaine exists almost completely as a prop for Ban’s story, up to and including dying on him (aka being fridged) and causing his manangst and driving his story). She spend half the story dead and the other half deathly ill. She has little to no interaction with anyone else—even her conversations with her own brother is all about Ban.

She doesn’t even really get much of a say about the whole thing, Ban’s quest to save her, it just is.

I do think the Raven’s arc was the best arc, but it was so entirely because of Jericho and her character development and drive, not because of Elaine. She had one moment of cute interactions with Elizabeth as they fought off two people who had no build up and were pretty much fodder, and then she had one moment where she saved Ban and managed to “grow up” something that’s downplayed slightly by being part of the reason Ban gets into his huge angst, and her losing her upgrade literally the next time we really see her just in time for Ban to save her (And turning her back into a child look alike) something that was truly not necessary. Gloxina didn’t lose his wings when he died, and wings are literally something fairies are killed for to sell—she could have stilled died and not lose her upgrade.

Honestly what I want from her is her to get to talk with her god damn brother, and maybe actually work things out on screen how he hurt her, and her understanding how he did so almost entirely unintentionally without Ban being their or brought up would be nice. Off screen does not count at all either. other than that let her be a person and not a prop!

And finally Melizabeth

Technically, or at least some people believe so, Meliodas and Elizabeth are the two main, main characters of the story. Honestly I kinda feel that Meliodas, Ban and King are the one who have gotten the most development and focus throughout the whole story, or at least until recently.

Elizabeth has tried, but in a lot of situation she’s been a plot point (Getting kidnapped, the seed not being in the cup for her test, ect) or had a lot of her agency taken from her to push the story along. Ever since she got her memories back she’s been trying to change that yes, but so far has instead been nearly instantly kidnapped and put into a situation where she could only be saved by others. (And yes, in story context she as in a bad situation for her powerset, but Nakaba still decided to have this happened to her and decided that she could do nothing to help just after she decided she would do something about all of this. It’s not like he didn’t have a choice.)

Meanwhile Meliodas has mostly treated Elizabeth like a child—which is fair considering she is one, she’s only 16 (Seriously, why couldn’t she have been at least 18, what would that have changed other than a tiny bit of the creepy factor)—but even after she regains her memories, he decides what he’s going to do with no input from her (Take the Commandment, break the curse, kidnap her, ect) and yes he has no emotions at the time but it’s still really shitty and only a step more than earlier when he refused to allow her to join the Sins again at the start of arc 2, without even explaining why, and even insulting and hurting her instead.

And it’s not that I want her to be a badass fighter. I’m fine with her being a realistic pacifist and mostly a healer and leader—that’s great. I just want her to have more agency instead of being shoved around to force the plot to do what Nakaba wants and get a chance to actually help Meliodas like she wants.

Bonus: Monspeet and Derieri

Their relationship is interesting, as on its outside it’s actually reverses some of the tropes this story has. Derieri is the one who get most of the focus and character development, while Monspeet is somewhat behind her. And in a twist, instead of the girl being fridged for the guy’s character development, the guy is fridged for the girls. Something rare enough that I actually thought that Monspeet’s death was somewhat okay (Up until Derieri’s story faltered right after).

Derieri has the same somewhat realization as Elizabeth—she was always the one being protected by Monspeet, being taken cared of by him, and how she wanted to be the one who did it back.

But then just as she was getting a big moment, finally a chance to somewhat redeem herself and try and help stop this war and save Mael, she is killed just as she’s about to do it, stopping her story cold turkey.

And now with Mael doing the weird reincarnation thing I have to ask why. If she’s almost certainly going to come back at some point (probably in the sequel—Arthur’s story I’d assumed if it actually happens) why couldn’t she have succeeded when she was so close. Why did she have to be worfed to show off Mael and eventually being the catalyst to power up King.

It’s just… frustrating.

I just wish she’s been allowed to succeeded after everything. I wish she’d gotten at least one moment where she protected Monspeet.

Last complaint

And one thing that has bothered me over all is, most notably while Ban and Meliodas were in Purgatory, how “We are going to get out of here and save our girls” which is great I guess, but, both them, and King in his “I have to protect you” say it so often that it almost feels…infantizing. The guys are so obsessed with taking care of and protecting the girls who don’t get the same chance to do it for them, or try and get punished for it, or realize to late and it’s just…

Ban and Mel really do it, King has his huge “I have to save everyone” complex, even Monspeet goes overboard with Derieri a bit (hitting away the rocks anyone). Escanor is similar, though he respects and believes in Merlin as much as he wants to jump to her defense making him a bit of an exception but I have no idea if Escalin is supposed to be a thing or not at this point. Margret got to be political prisoner for ages, and when she went out to find Gil she gets manipulated into becoming Ludo’s host. Veronica gets a whole side plot only for it to suddenly stop with no conclusion.

I just want the girls to get to do cool things, sometimes completely unconnected to the boys, and not have it backfire on them or get overshadowed. I want the relationships to have more equal screen time between each partner, Is that so much?

[count-demonlord-of-decadence]

MEIN CONFESSION

This work was spawned from an idea of writing notes and hiding them in books for people to find later. I remember thinking, “What would someone do if they found a murder confession? How specific and detailed would it have to be to notify the authorities? Would anyone believe it to be real?” So I wrote a murder confession that was too long for its intended purpose. Any characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Crushed by the weight of guilt and fear of discovery, I write theses confessions with my face huddled to the page, lest some passerby discovery their meaning prior to completion. And yet I hesitate for fear these transcriptions will prove to be my undoing. But I can no longer stand the sleepless nights. And I feel as though the burden I carry is one stone lighter from writing this much; I resolve to continue.

I killed a man. No, no, no I shan’t sugar coat it like that. I murdered a man in cold blood. No heroic deed was done, no altruistic motivations for my actions. It starts with my friend, Ray Allen, an alpha male jock douchebag. A boorish oaf who resembled a young Morris Chestnut in terms of sex appeal and physique but no taller than I. I associated with him because it amused me to do so at the time. Well he married a goddess named Yulisa. A polite, demure, angel of a maiden; short and rubenesque, skin like the powdered snow of winter, hair blacker than the abyss at night and bespeckled grey eyes that held the secrets of the universe. And a smile, oh what a smile, so sad; so beautiful. One candid conversation with that angel one hot summer night and we shared an understanding. Had we met a scant ten months earlier and Yulisa and I would be happily married. Once she bore his child, a daughter named Shelby, I knew she would never willingly leave Ray, despite his constant ill treatment and perpetual infidelity. The was only one way for us to be happy.

In hindsight, it seemed foolish to tarry. Every breath he took impaired our happiness. The reasoning that inspired this crime was little more than flawless logic, rather than an emotional outburst. It didn’t even feel like a crime, but rather a necessary action; like changing a tire or replacing a broken appliance. Something one does in order for life to continue uninterrupted. It only took four months to plan and execute. I began with inviting myself over to their home every other Saturday. I’d bring a bottle of vodka and a case of beer. I’d encourage Ray Allen to get as drunk as humanly possible each time; and each time he never failed me. Binge drinking was his one true hobby.

On the 17th Saturday I did no different than any of the previous Saturdays except I brought along some horse tranquilizers I bought from a rather unscrupulous coworker. I ground two of the pills into powder and put half of the powder into his fifth shot, which he drank with no indication it’d been tampered with. I then stole two of his own vicodin pills from his medicine cabinet, ground one up and spiked his third beer with it. I mixed the the remaining horse tranquilizer with the other vicodin pill which I too ground up, and spiked his seventh beer with it. By the time he finished his sixth shot and tenth beer, he was unconscious. When I failed to rouse him, I knew victory was mine.

I wrapped his his body (though he was clearly still alive at the moment) in the cheapest bedsheet I could find among their linens. I vastly underestimated the effort required to drag him to the car and despite my fears and anticipations; I encountered not a soul on this night lit by a half moon that was half obscured by whimsical clouds. Having placed him in the seat, I secured him upright with the seatbelt. I put the key in the ignition and activated the car so i could turn on the radio. I put a lit cigarette between his lips, his favorite Stone Sour CD on repeat, turned up the volume and sealed him inside. I then mixed the remaining horse tranquilizers with his supply of vicodin. The pills were so similar they could easily be mistaken for each other. I then had a shot and three beers while listen to Heart’s greatest hits before falling asleep.

I had no need to feign discombobulation when Yulisa woke me in a panic. Ray had fallen asleep behind the wheel and she couldn’t wake him. I had to resist the urge to smile when I told her to call 911. I had to tell dispatch and the EMTs how much he had to drink, how many of what pills I’d seen him take; all while impersonating a grieving friend who hadn’t just commited the most unspeakable of acts. There was an investigation, obviously. But nothing in the autopsy, toxicology report or witness testimony, including Yulisa’s and my own, so much as raised an eyebrow. Everyone, the police included, were all too happy to rule this an accidental overdose and be done with it. Yulisa even found it easier to explain an accidental overdose to their child than a brutal, graphic murder. A simple accident that leaves no one to blame, no boogyman to hunt down but did have a lesson to be learned from it all. Don’t abuse prescription drugs.

It was 93 days after Ray Allen was laid to rest that I began courting Yulisa. At first she spurned me, citing scandal and rumor. But I care not for such things and thoughtfully and thoroughly explained to her why she should adopt my philosophy. Eventually we started to see more of one another. 274 days after Ray Allen’s funeral, Yulisa allowed me to make love to her for the first time.

It remains, by far, the most sensuous, erotic night of my life; both our lives honestly. I think we were both energized by the crime I had committed and by feelings for each other we had stockpiled. That night there were no bounds, no restrictions, no regulations. No extremity wasn’t licked, groped, pinched or kissed. No positions were ignored, no orifice was exempt from penetration. It was two people, living actually feeling alive for the very first time in their lives. Those that have never succumbed to the throes of pure ecstasy; I pity you.

We were married 366 days after that night. Around that time Shelby began to call me “Dad”. Two years after our wedding, Yulisa gave birth to our daughter, Trivia. Not only that but nine weeks after the murder I received a promotion at my job. A month after that I got a great deal on a Mercedes-Benz due to a typo and won $5,000 on a scratcher. And that is why I write this confession; not to express remorse or guilt at what I have done, but to confirm it was the right thing to do.

Everything good in my life happened because I took the life of the one person that impeded those good things. My life has never been better since I murdered Ray Allen. I have a great job, beautiful children, a nice house, an E55 and a beautiful wife who makes love to me each and every night without ever faking an orgasm.

The moral of this confession is to let no man, woman, beast or child stand between and happiness. I didn’t, and I’d do it again.

[frankcmcclanahaniii]

Predestination

About two weeks ago this year marked the 500th anniversary of The Reformation, which is generally thought to have begun with Martin Luther’s posting of 95 Theses on October 31, 1517. One of the least cheerful ideas rooted in the Reformation is the idea of predestination. This doctrine holds that salvation is predestined, which is to say that no works of the individual, however virtuous, will lead to salvation in the afterlife, because God alone decides, and in his infinite wisdom, he knows from the moment of your birth (or before) whether you are saved or damned. The leaders of the Reformation promoted this idea because Pope Leo X, successor to Julius II and Alexander VI, sought to finance the glorious reconstruction of the Basilica of St. Peter’s, the Vatican cathedral (and various other extravagances) through the aggressive sale of indulgences, which, in theory guaranteed salvation for a fee, an early version of the modern televangelist appeal. These three popes were each rich (Alexander was a Borgia, Julius was a della Rovere and Leo was a Medici), ambitious, avaricious and venal. All were guilty of simony and all were also guilty of most (and maybe all) of the seven deadly sins. All advanced their own family interest against the others, and all had a love of extravagance. Both Alexander VI and Julius II had sold indulgences to finance various wars, intrigues, elections and projects, e.g. Michelangelo’s refurbishment of the Sistine Chapel as well as the demolition of Constantine’s ancient Basilica of St. Peter’s and the beginning of Bramante’s and Michelangelo’s spectacular replacement. Leo X, however, succeeded to an inadequate treasury and his own extravagance soon led to enormous unpaid bills that required maximum new revenue from indulgences. Predestination was promoted by Luther because it would make paying for indulgences a pointless gesture, and tended to focus believers on the here and now, the one life every person could be certain about, rather than the promise of a more dubious afterlife in exchange for an advanced cash payment. Predestination has subsequently been blamed for all manner of mischief, including, inter alia, capitalism, usury, witch hunts, wars, the fire and brimstone sermons of Jonathan Edwards and Puritanism itself, which my favorite kind-hearted, contrarian curmudgeon, H.L. Mencken, delightfully defined as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, might be happy.” Of course, being myself merely a curmudgeon, I cannot know what true puritans actually thought or think. But in the 1980’s, with the development of chaos theory, predestination got a boost, because chaos theory, based on the necessity of random fluctuations (Lucretius again?) posited that perhaps, there was no free will at all, since randomness is by definition unpredictable (recall Edward Lorenz’ Butterfly Effect and Strange Attractor) but nonetheless deterministic, thus leaving everything to chance and nothing to choice. This unexpected revival was similar to the upending of the “nurture v. nature” notions (that made Benjamin Spock, the baby doctor, rich) by Judith Rich Harris even more recently. I believe, however, that puritans actually thought that since some were surely saved, all should behave as if they might be, and avoid any possible contamination which might make the lucky few even more disgusting to the immaculate perfect god waiting to welcome them. As it happens, Edwin Arlington Robinson wrote a delicious sonnet about the puritanical sorts that resulted from an overdose of predestination. Here it is: NEW ENGLAND Here where the wind is always north-north-east And children learn to walk on frozen toes, Wonder begets an envy of all those Who boil elsewhere with such a lyric yeast Of love that you will hear them at a feast Where demons would appeal for some repose, Still clamoring where the chalice overflows And crying wildest who have drunk the least. Passion is here a soilure of the wits, We're told, and Love a cross for them to bear; Joy shivers in the corner where she knits And Conscience always has the rocking-chair, Cheerful as when she tortured into fits The first cat that was ever killed by Care. I was born in New England, but did not live there, so I could not write about such characters with any familiarity. I did write a modest critique of puritanical notions in a light moment once, so maybe now, on the anniversary of the Reformation which spawned predestination and all its progeny, it is time to publish it: UNPOPULAR GENETICS If it is true that genes select Predispositions, great and small Then mine must be the kind you’d call Politically incorrect. They fail to fear portended threats From cigarettes or alcohol; From flaccid flesh, cholesterol Or fun or unprotected sex. Perhaps if I’m untimely dead There will be gleeful schadenfreude At how frivolity destroyed A life survivors think ill-led Compared to theirs, sensibly spent In abstinence as lean as Lent. Finally, I also wrote a more serious sonnet about predestination in the days when chaos theory was newer and more popular. It was really just an expression of some of the implications, like a draft for an essay. I suspect that some of the people burned as heretics during the Reformation (and both sides burned heretics) suffered the flames for thinking ideas similar to the ones in this sonnet. So we have come a long way since then. Maybe that was what was truly predestined. PREDESTINATION Suppose in fact no will is ever free That every willful act is preordained And no intent to do will ever change The least aspect of what is bound to be. No need then to compete. Morality Becomes irrelevant. We lose or gain By accidents we cannot rearrange To overcome evitability. The good are bound to be good and the worst Cannot be helped, nor can they help themselves. Life uses all in ways nobody delves In disregard of who is last or first; Indifferent to each individual one Life just shoots dice deciding what is done. © 2017 frankcmcclanahaniii

[wesleyhill]

Christ’s Wings

A homily on Philippians 4:1-9, preached at St. Aidan’s Anglican Church, Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, October 15, 2017

In the name of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen:

There’s an old rhyme, often (mis?)attributed to John Bunyan, the author of the Pilgrim’s Progress allegory, that goes like this:

Run, John, run, the law commands But gives us neither feet nor hands, Far better news the gospel brings: It bids us fly and gives us wings.

Notice the contrast Bunyan draws in this little poem. The law—God’s law, the holy expression of his own holy character—demands our obedience. “Run!” the law says to us. “Run in the way of God’s commandments!” On the other hand, the gospel—the good news of God’s action in Jesus Christ on our behalf—promises us God’s grace.

There’s been a lot of talk about that contrast — this year especially, because it’s the five-hundredth anniversary of Martin Luther’s 95 Theses, which eventually led to an entire theology premised on this contrast between the law and the gospel. God’s law, Luther insisted, was holy, just, and good. It announces to us the moral perfection that God’s own moral purity demands of everyone who would be in relationship with him. But the law cannot enable what it demands. In the terms of Bunyan’s rhyme, it is like an indifferent coach who shouts through a megaphone, “Run! Run!” to a player whose broken legs are in casts that have rendered her totally immobile.

But in contrast to this, Luther equally insisted, the gospel of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection announces the happy news (not the demand) that God has forgiven our sins and promised us a future of love and wholeness. Again, in the imagery of the poem, the gospel is like a miracle that gives that broken-legged player wings so that she can fulfill — times one thousand! — the demands her coach has given her. The gospel unites us to Christ, who is himself our wings. We fly only because he holds us. And thereby he triumphs over the law’s condemnation.

I bring all this up this morning because our epistle reading from St. Paul appears, at first glance, to be all law. Depending on how you tally things up, there are nine commands given in the space of a mere nine verses, and some of the commands sound crushingly impossible to perform.

“[S]tand firm in the Lord,” Paul says, and I immediately think of my friends who have tried, for years, to stand firm in their faith, and then depression or cynicism or worldly passion overtakes them and knocks them down.

“I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord,” Paul says of two women in the Philippian congregation who were apparently at odds, and I think of all the broken friendships I’ve known which the estranged parties have tried — and failed — to mend.

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice,” Paul says, and I find myself wondering if he’s ever really spent time with a social worker or a clear-eyed journalist. When you’re working with two-year-old foster children whose bones have been broken through drunken abuse, or when you’re writing about statistics like 40% of Puerto Rico still being without running water, how are you supposed to rejoice? Paul’s words sound almost cruel. We may picture him shouting to a recently bereaved spouse, “Stop your crying and be happy!” In North America these days, as a friend of mine complained recently on her blog, “we’re constantly surrounded by capitalists and Christians with unnecessarily intense dentistry, all yelling at us that We Have a Duty to Our Joy.”

“Do not worry about anything,” Paul goes on, and he finishes this portion of the epistle by saying that we are only to think about what is true and honorable and excellent, apparently forgetting that for some of us that’s pretty much impossible. We have to wake up every day and think about the unraveling marriage we’re in, or the recently evicted clients we’re trying to help land on their feet, or the animal abuse story we have to cover for the local newspaper, or the industry mogul who figured out a way to deny benefits to struggling employees that we have to investigate. In short, much of this reading from Paul does not sound doable, let alone like good news.

But I want to point out something that it may be all too easy for us to overlook at this juncture, and it’s this: Paul is writing these words to people who are already assured of God’s unconditional fatherly love and commitment to them and to the world. Paul is giving these commands, in other words, not to people whose futures hang precariously in the balance. Quite the opposite: Paul is speaking to those who are lodged firmly and securely in the heart of God apart from anything they’ve done, good or bad. He is writing to those who have his promise that the whole world will be remade. And he is inviting his hearers — he is inviting us this morning — to open our eyes to that reality and to enjoy its privileges and to begin, however haltingly, to live in the light of it.

We can see this reality in that little phrase “in the Lord” which Paul repeats three times in this section of Philippians: “[S]tand firm in the Lord.” “I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord.” “Rejoice in the Lord always.” It’s related to one of Paul’s favorite expressions: we believers are “in Christ.” It’s as though Christ is a safe, welcoming house, and we have taken up residence in him and are sheltered by him. It’s an entirely different matter when you hear a command like “stand firm” in that setting than if you were outside. Standing firm isn’t so overwhelming, it doesn’t sound so demoralizing and depressing, if you realize it more or less means, “Sit down and breathe deeply and close your eyes and remember that you already are standing firm because you’re inside the home of Christ’s love and the wind outside, no matter how fiercely it blows, cannot topple you over.” Rejoicing isn’t perhaps so threatening a posture if we realize we’re not being asked to put on a big toothy grin in the face of loss and heartache but rather to remember, even in the middle of the loss and the heartache, that we are still in the grip of Love himself.

And that brings me to the second indication in our passage that Paul doesn’t want us to hear condemnation this morning. In addition to saying “in the Lord” three times, Paul also gives us three promises in this portion of Philippians. “The Lord is near,” Paul says first. What he means is that the Lord Jesus is standing ready, awaiting the moment of his return to us, when all the things that we rightly grieve over — our own sin and hardheartedness, the awful pain of earthquakes and forest fires and cancer and sexual assault and on and on — will be finally vanquished. As he put it in the two verses immediately prior to our reading for today, “But our citizenship is in heaven, and it is from there that we are expecting a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. He will transform the body of our humiliation that it may be conformed to the body of his glory, by the power that also enables him to make all things subject to himself.” That time of our transformation is nearer now, Paul means, than when we first believed.

The second promise Paul offers is this: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” That future tense is important to notice: “the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds…” Paul is well aware that he is writing to people — people like us — whose present circumstances are not what they hope for. Perhaps Paul felt a shooting pain in the damaged nerve endings of his own back (which back was pocked and gnarled with scars from the floggings he’d received) as he wrote these words. Paul knew the brokenness of the world in his bones and in his skin. He knew that no joy, no reconciliation and purity of thought, would ever be possible without God’s promise to mend the world. Without that promise, any call to joy can only be a call to close your eyes to the world’s miseries. God, whose life is perfect peace, promises that he will open a future for us in which all wrongs will be righted, all tears will be dried, all wounds will be healed, and all injustices will be overturned. And it is only in the light of that future that Paul dares to say to us, “Rejoice!”

But ultimately, Paul concludes with a third promise that is slightly different than the second: “the God of peace will be with you.” All of Paul’s commands — stand firm, be reconciled, rejoice, don’t worry, think on holy things — are enclosed, so to speak, within God’s promise not only that he will mend the world in the future but also that he will be present with his people even now. God grants us foretastes of the ultimate, universal peace that enable us to go on hoping and rejoicing and working for justice in defiance of the illness and trauma and abuse and inequality we see in our present experience every day. The future peace that God promises — the future peace that God is — is, in a very real sense, with us right now, already, in advance of the Lord’s coming. And it is only in view of that reality that we can do what Paul commands us to do: to be joyful, to give up worrying, to pray, to give thanks, to meditate on holy things.

Only as Christ bears us up, with our broken legs and all, on eagles’ wings, does he bid us smile and look at the horizon toward which we’re flying. The sun is shining on that horizon, and the darkness is being dispelled even now.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.