#they are in desparate need of some love and attention

[the-likesofus]

hi meeeegs i love you!! for the wip guessing game, uhhh... calm, hair, and dinner!! <3

Hello lovely ❤️ I only had two of your words sorry but enjoy. Maze N Maize fic aka the bain of my existence makes me mad cos it wasn't finished for Halloween and the Super Secret Summer Project fic that I wasn't gonna share any of yet but have now shared two bits in one day because I'm excited about it aasdfghjk!! Much love to you too xx

Secret Summer Project Fic

For a moment there is a terrifying sort of calm that settles around him and then the groan of the tree’s trunk brings Eddie back around.

Maze N Maize Fic

Eddie watches the way Buck swallows, his own mouth feels like sandpaper and there’s a buzzing up and down his spine. He leans in slowly–Buck doesn’t move–until he is a hairsbreadth away.

[shomixremix]

Sitting in his lap ♡︎

i need more Genshin fluff/smuf, lol, and I know I should really write for someone other than Neuvi and Wrio but they are my current hyperfixation sooo here's more of them ig

oh also alhaitham's and neuvillette's are kinda simmilar sorryyy

tags: Alhaitham, Ayato, Neuvillette, Wriothesley, Zhongli, female reader, fluff, cuddling, smut, implied smut, cockwarming

-> your hardworking boyfriend has to deal with your incredible need for his hold, having no choice but to place you on his lap.

reqs open ♡︎ | minors DNI

-> alhaitham

the silence in the room was deafening. as the acting grand sage, alhaitham was always busy, which you, as his girlfriend, understood. but you hated it.

you couldn't disrupt him, of course, always competing with some book for his attention. archons, it certainly didn't help how good he looked when he worked. emerald eyes focused and sharp, eyebrows slightly furrowed, a small frown on his face. fuck, he was hot.

"..'tham? are you gonna be done soon?"

his eyes never leaving the book he was going through, he shook his head: "not yet. i have a lot more work here."

you pouted, feeling a bit neglected. alhaitham promised you he'd give you all his attention the second he finished with work. which was never, apperently. sick and tired of his neglect, you decide to take matters into your own hands. trotting comfortably to him, you sit back on his knees facing him and wrap arms around his neck.

"is something the matter, y/n?"

you nuzzle your head in the crook of his neck, sighing deeply. not only did he look good, he smelt good, too. like freshly cut grass and the sumeru rose. knowing it's going to awake a reaction in him, you press a peck on the pulsepoint of his pale neck.

"no. just missed you, 'tham"

his breath hitches in his throat as you kiss his neck, palms closing the book he was holding to wrap around your waist.

"....mm, missed you too, love. i suppose my research can wait a little"

-> ayato

"shhh, little one... they will all hear if you keep moaning like that. you need to be quiet for me, precious."

your fiancé hushed in your ear as you squirmed and whined on his lap. a meeting in the yashiro commission was ongoing in the next room, and the paper thin walls certainly weren't helping. but, sweet Raiden Shogun, how could you possibly ever keep quiet when you were sat right on the commissioner's dick?!

"mhh.. mmmph! ohh.. ayato.. p-please.."

you whine through a whisper, begging for movement. cockwarming the blue-haired man as he worked seemed like a great idea at first, but now you realize it was, indeed, not. ayato warned you that no matter how much you begged, he wouldn't be able to fuck you, yet here you were, still begging.

"you look so adorable like that, precious. yet, you know well that i can't give you what you want. so please, be quiet. you don't want the rest of the yashiro commission to know what a pretty cockslut you are, hm?"

you nod in agreement, resting your head on his shoulder with another whine. your pussy was spasaming around his length, desparately trying to give yourself the pleasure he was denying you. oh, you could feel him pulsing inside you, revealing that he was as desparate as you were - something you would never be able to tell from his calm and collected expression.

"please, ayato... i need- ohh!" you beg, yet he interrupts you with a harsh thrust, bouncing you slightly on his lap.

you were edged for hours and already at the brink of your high, so his thrust immediately pushed you over the edge. you reach your high, biting down on his shoulder in order to stop yourself from making any noise.

ayato chuckled at your behavior, pressing a light kiss to your temple.

"there, there, little one. shh... finishing after such a long time must have tired you out. rest on my shoulder now, precious, and we can continue this once i'm finished with work."

-> neuvillette

"neuvi, love, will you be done any time soon?"

you ask impatiently, laying down on one of the sofas in neuvillette's office in the palais mermonia. you understood very well he was the busiest man in all of fontaine, and yet... you wanted him to choose you over work just once. just once! was it really so wrong and selfish of you to want your boyfriend to make you and your needs a priority?

"hmm, no, i'm afraid not, my love. there are many cases and documents i need to review still."

you shoot him a saddened glare, turning away from him. he sighs in desparation, torn between his many duties and the needs of his lover. both very important to him, and both requiring his full attention.

"i'm sorry, mon amour... you know i'd love to give you all the time in the world, but i'm afraid the society of fontaine would collapse if i were to simply not show up for a day"

yeah, yeah, you knew that very well. the problem was, you sorta kinda didn't care? of course, you cared about fontaine and its people, but for once you wished you were more important than the next silly court hearing about something as meaningless as some lost cabbages.

as you were still giving him the silent treatment, the chief justice sighed.

"come here, mon cherie. maybe you'd like to sit on my lap while i work?"

you perk up at that, cheerfully making your way to him and plopping down on his lap. you nuzzle your face against his chest, one strong arm wrapping around your waist as you do so.

"thank you, neuvi.." you sigh as you kiss his cheek, finally content in his safe arms.

-> wriothesley

wriothesley is a man who was used to spending most of his time alone. at the end of the day, there wasn't much company inside the fortress of meropide, where he spent most of his days. he has long gotten used to spending hours alone finishing work in his office.

yet, that all changed once he met you. now, every minute spent alone in his office seemed like endless torture, unless you were sitting there, all dolled up and perfect, on his lap with him.

"aww, c'mon, doll, my lips are down here" he jokes as you press eager kisses on his forehead, leaving behind lipstick marks.

"mh... don't care... i wanna kiss you all over.." you tease back, your trail of kisses never faltering.

you two have been at this love game for some time now, your time spent in teasing, clothed grinding and desparate kissing. wriothesley barely finished any work, too focused on the woman in his arms. you could feel him from under you, hard as a rock as his hands roamed your body. for focalors sake, how he wished he could leave that damned office and toss you onto his bed...

"wrio, you have to get back to work..." you smirk, pulling away from his handsome face. he frowns, upset at the harsh reminder.

"you know i'd much rather continue kissing you, baby"

you grind down on him, earning a slight groan from him. his hands tighten on your hips, his lips inches away from yours.

"fuck, doll, you'll be the death of me..."

he muttered as he picked you up, finally losing his patience. screw work, screw everything else! he needed you, and he needed you now.

-> zhongli

"are you sure this is comfortable for you, darling?"

zhongli was still learning the ways of the mortals, not yet used to every custom and behavior. which is why he was a bit startled once you asked if you could sit in his lap.

you had to explain that it was a normal thing for couples and that it was an act of intimacy, that it meant you wanted him closer. this made the ex-archon wish for the same, delighted to learn you liked him so much.

"yes, dear. i told you, it's very comfortable! i love it!"

you chirp, pressing a kiss to his cheekbone as you sat in his lap, legs wrapped around his waist. he smiled at your reaction, amber eyes following your every move.

"i'm glad. you are welcome in my lap whenever you desire"

"then i won't ever leave"

a small tint arises in his cheeks as you say that. zhongli, the mighty ex-archon, wasn't the one to usually blush, yet moments like this and your sweet little confessions certainly brought a rise out of him. you giggle at how flustered you were making him, connecting your lips together and finally giving him a well-deserved kiss.

zhongli decides to deepen the kiss, his tounge prodding in your mouth as one of his gloved hands tangles in your hair. he's kissing you as if you were the only air he could breathe, the only food he could eat, the only water he could drink. it was very clear he wanted this intimacy to be even more intense, which you could feel from under you as well.

"mhhh... i'll take you upstairs to our room, beautiful. then, i'll show you the intimacy we both so crave. and you'll still get to be on my lap, if you so wish"

[remcycl333]

yall want to get into the void state?

when every blogger is just telling you to get into the state of the wish fulfilled? when all you need to change is self- through changing your inner state

the void state is literally just a state. neville told us "we are constantly passing through states like travellers". we are always in a state. we are always conscious of being *something*, we are always in I AM ___ you could be in a state of being rich therefor you believe yourself to be rich ie " I AM rich" if you are in a state of beeing poor you identify yourself as "I AM poor".

the void state is literally just the state we occupy with simply being conscious of only being, it is just I AM followed by nothing. no physical body, no circumstances just consciousness.

the void does not give you results instantly because its some magical power you encounter it is only instant because it is the state of nothing but consciousness, therefor you can chose what to be consious of with a blank state, or in other words you chose what come after the I AM because there is nothing after it.

you can easily manifest as quickly just by changing states. the only reason why it may not be instant is because you are already occupying another state (most likely the opposite state of what you desire like I AM poor instead of I AM rich)

but all you need to do is persist in the new I AM because dominant states/ your dwelling state is what reflects onto your 3D.

you do not enter the void state, you dont enter any state , because they are all already in you; the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved, the confident and the insecure, the good and the bad and the indifferent, they are all played by the same actor: YOU

you get to decide which stat you want to be. so you can just decide you are the void state, but once you decide dont try and feel symptoms or pay attention to if you can still feel your body, you are already the void so simply persist in that state.

it is all states. yall we can go back in time, we can change our whole lives to every single detail, but youre telling me persisting for a few days is too long? yall are so blinded by the void craze that you cant take a step back to see all the time you wasted crying over the void couldve been time persisting.

youve been trying to get into the void for months now, and you dont want to try any other method because the void is instant? do you hear yourselves? how is it instant when youve been waiting for months, trying every single day desperate to wake up differently. to me that sounds like a lot of time to wait for you desires when you could simply fulfil yourself in imagination at anytime anywhere instantly

im not trying to hate on anyone or try and invalidate any of your situations. i discovered the law during the peak of the void craze and it was everywhere, so i was also so desparate, its like i could see the cheat code to life right in front of my hands but i still couldnt grasp it. i took a step back and i really understood neville and also discovered edward art and learnt how easy manifesting is (without the void)

i hope you can all be kind to yourselves and please PLEASE stop pestering these poor bloggers about how to get into the void and harassing them when they tell you maybe take a break

EXACTLY, i feel like so many people treat the void as somewhere outside of them that they are going to travel to. but no, it's literally just you. it's just a state!

[sluttyminho]

i'm so glad you're mine

pairing: idol!chan x fem!reader

genre: smut - MDNI

summary: chan really can't stand the thought of another man talking to you let alone hanging out with you, so when he finds out you asked another member to go with you to the park it really pisses him off.

warnings: smut, angst, jealous chan, make up sex, oral sex (fem recieving), pet names, sub!reader, dom!chan, unprotected sex (use protetction please), praise (a lot of it), aftercare

wc: idk around 1500

Chan was really busy these past few weeks, and he wasn't really paying you much attention. You only saw him at night when he came home or in early mornings before he got to work, you two almost didn't talk at this point and it was tearing you apart. You didn't even have sex for the last 3 weeks and you were desparate for his touch, to feel his lips on you, you just wanted him to at least give you some attention but he never tried to start anything. You thought he was tired so you never said anything to not pressure him into doing things he doesn't want to.

You woke up when you heard someone open the front door. The clock on the night stand read 2am, you were still so sleepy but decided to get up and see chan and maybe strike up a conversation with him after a long time.

When you came to the living room he was there taking off his coat and shoes, he looked tired like really, really tired you never saw him like that before so you started to worry about him. You went up to him put your arms around his neck and gave him a quick peck on his lips but he just pulled away. You looked him deep in the eyes and the only thing you saw in them was how stressed he was, how much he needed a good sleep and to have a few days only to himself to forget about work and every thing left he has to do.

You tried to kiss him again but he pulled away once again "channie baby what's wrong?" you asked him but he only gave you a look of annoyance. After a few moments of silence he finally said "nothing for you to worry about, now leave me alone, it's already hard enough to have the boys being around me all the time don't need you to be too" he pulled away from you, went to the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

You were laying on your side of the bed for what felt like hours waiting for Chan to come out of the bathroom so you could try talking to him but once he came out he only went to his side of the bed, layed down and turned his back to you. "are you mad at me or something? Did i do something wrong?" you ask him just curious why he's acting the way he is. "can you just stop talking to me Y/N i really don't want to have this conversation right now" chan said with evident annoyance in his tone. "okay, but i just want to let you know that you mean the world to me and that i'm here for you if you need anything" he didn't say anything in return and you were a little sad about it, but it was fine as long as he was there next to you peacefully sleeping. "i love you" was the only thing you said before you dozed off to sleep.

the next morning...

You woke up and chan's side of the bed was empty like every morning the past few weeks. But it was his day off so you thought maybe he'd stay in bed with you and spend some quality time together, but you guess you were wrong. If you're being honest you weren't surprised that he wasn't here next to you after what he said to you last night.

You tried calling him a few times but he never picked up so you started texting him to ask him where he is and why he didn't tell you he was going somwhere, but no response.

you: channie baby i was worried about where you went so i tried calling but you didn't pick up.

you: call me when you have some time i need to ask you something

you: love you❤️

Chan didn't even bother to text you back so you texted Jeongin.

you: hey, i want to ask you something

I.N: hi, sure go ahead

you: so i thought maybe you wanted to go to the park with me and maybe go get ice cream?

I.N: what about chan hyung isn't he going?

you: well the thing is, i think he's kinda mad at me for some reason and i don't want to annoy him even more

I.N: oh, well okay then let's go to the park i'll pick you up in 15

you: ok, se ya

You got up and started getting ready. You put on a mini dress chan bought you for your birthday. That's so basic but bear with me. The dress is white with cute little flowers on it and it fitted you perfectly. You brushed your teeth, put on some makeup, put on your shoes and left the house because jeongin was already waiting for you outside.

I.N: i'm here, come out

you: out in a minute

You came to his car and sat in the passanger's seat. Jeongin greeted you with a warm smile and pulled off to the park.

When you arrived the first thing you did was go get the ice cream. "so, what flavour are you getting?" jeongin asked "idk i think i'll take the strawberry one it's my favourite" you replied and he softly smiled at you because it was his favourite flavour too.

Right at that moment the waiter recognized jeongin and she quickly went for her phone to take a picture of you two smiling at each other so it looked like you were on a date. "can you delete the photo you just took? It's really making me uncomfortable." jeongin said with a calm voice "sure thing" the waiter replied "thank you" he said and left the ice cream bar with you by his side.

It's been about 20 minutes and you both finished your ice creams when you got a call from one and only chan. You answered it calmly "hey baby you finally called back" you said "why the fuck are you alone with jeongin, eating ice cream?" he shouted with evident anger in his tone "how did you know i'm with him?" you said, curiosity running through your veins "what do you mean how i know? it's all over twitter" he yelled and you almost dropped your phone. You hung up and opened twitter, the first thing you saw was a photo the lady at the ice cream bar took of the two of you. You were so pissed you wanted to go back there and choke that woman with your own hands. The last thing you wanted was the fans spreading fake dating rumors and hurt chan.

Chan texted you.

channie: i'm coming to pick you up so we can talk

channie: stay where you are

you: okay

you told jeongin that chan was on his way to pick you up and the only thing he said was "i'm sorry". He knew how much you loved chan and seeing you this sad was something he hated to see because it was making him sad to. He then walked back to his car and drowe away.

channie: come to the ice cream bar, i'm here

you: there in a minute

After coming to chan's car he motioned for you to sit in the passanger's seat, so you did. The first thing he did was ask you "why the fuck were you here with jeongin? You could've asked me to come with you. The last time i checked i was your boyfriend not him" he said, his expression was giving off anger, sadness and annoyance all at once. You couldn't even look him in the eyes. "i tried chan, i tried but you weren't picking up nor texting back, what was i supposed to do? Be alone at home while you're god knows where doing god knows what." you yelled on the verge of tears. You were botling up your problems for few weeks now but fuck it, now you are going to yell them one by one at his face wheter he likes it or not. "i'm sorry chan, i'm sorry for not being the perfect girlfriend, i'm sorry i'm clingy, i'm sorry i need your attention most of the time but you know what? I'm only human too so i expect you to treat me like one. I know you have your own problems and i gave you the chance to talk to me and help you solve them, but do you know what you did? You pushed me away and treated me like a piece of shit for the past few weeks, and i'm sick of it, i'm so fucking sick of it chan" you said now fully crying, but it was better now that you got all this off your chest. "Y/N i'm so sorry, i didn't know i was hurting you this much. I was under lots of pressure because of work and i really didn't want to stress you out because of my problems, i'm really sorry and I won't be able to forgive myself for that. Why don't we just go home so i can make up for all the nights we didn't get to spend together hmm? How does that sound?" he said tears swelling in his own eyes now, realising how much he hurt you "that sounds great my love" he leans in to give you a quick peck as he drives off home.

When the two of you got into the house you took off your shoes and coats. As soon as you did that he grabbed your waist and started kising your neck while slowly leading you to the bedroom. When you were there he led you to the bed and whispered into your ear "i'm going to make you feel so good baby. Make up for all the time we lost while i was busy at work hmm, now lay down for me and let me do all the work" you listened to him and did exactly what he told you to. You were laying on your back as he leaned over you and started peppering little kisses to your collar bone and slowly moving down.

"Baby, can i take this off?" he said, pointing at your dress. You nodded and smiled at him wanting to let him know that you were 100% okay with him doing these things to you. He took off your dress along with your red laced bra. "honey you look amazing" he whispered just enough for you to hear. He slowly started sucking on your left nipple squezing the right one with his hand. It didn't take long for you to start moaning when he was making you feel this good. "hmm channie feels so good" you whimpered. He started moving his lips down your stomach leaving open mouthed kisses all over it until he came in contact with your panties, he grebbed them with his teeth and started pulling them down your legs at a painfully slow pace. when your panties were off his face came in contact with your core. He licked off your juices and his eyes widened "oh god baby, you taste fucking amazing" he licked over your clit and your whole body shivered from how sensitive you were there. "c-channie baby f-fells g-good mmm" he then pushes two of his fingers into your aching hole while still stimulating your clit. He was going at it for a few minutes when you suddenly felt a knot at the pit of your stomach. "channn i'm about to c-" and you were already cumming all over his face but his mouth was still on your pussy helping you through your orgasm. When you came down from your intense orgasm "that was awesome baby , thank you channie" you looked down at him and saw his mouth covered in your cum. He then looked you up through his eyelashes and whispered"but baby, i'm sure you can give me more, what do you think? are you ready for round two? but this time you'll be cumming around my dick hmm?" you were only able to nod and he was already taking off his chlotes. You blinked once and he was already aligned with your hole. "are you ready to take me baby" he asked, excited to feel you after all this time. "more than ever" you reply, happy to be so close to him all over again. He pushed into you with a loud grunt not even giving you the chance to adjust to his size, making you a moaning mess. He was moving fast and rough stimulating your clit with his free hand so after a few minutes both of your orgasms were aproaching you. You both started moaning so loud that you were sure even the neighbors heard but you couldn't care less, it only took one last thrust for chan’s seed to spill all over your insides and as if on command you were cumming around his cock not even a second later. It felt like you were dreaming, and chan being chan, didn't want to waste a single drop of his cum so he fucked it all into you.

He colapsed on top of you and embraced you like you were the most fragile thing on this earth. "I'm sorry for being such an asshole i really didn't mean the things i said" he whispered into your ear then hid his face into you neck so he couldn't make direct eye contact with you. "It's fine channie i just wanted you to see what you did wrong so you could see why i reacted the way i did, it was no big deal but i was so sensitive at that time because it wasn't the first time you did that, oh and i love you to the moon and back, just wanted you to know" you were so sweet he almost started melting right there and then. "i'm so glad you're mine" he said giving you a long chased kiss.

"Let's wash up then we can cuddle till we fall asleep" as he said those words he lifted you up and carried you to the bathroom and right into the shower. He let the water run over you first since he's a gentleman, he then put shampoo over your hair and started massaging it into your scalp. I need a chan in my life fr. he helped you rinse it off and wash your body, then went to the drier for some hot towels so you don't freeze to death. Chan came back with two towels one for himself and one for you, and helped you dry yourself off. You ran to your closet to put on some panties and chans t-shirt that you stole from him, and layed onto the bed chan comming after you. He hugged you from the back and started massaging your lower belly in case you were in pain he whispered a simple "i love you" you pecked his lips "i love you more" is all that came from your lips before you dozed off to sleep.

[m.list]

This is my first fic so i would really appreaciate if you liked it or rebloged it. I know it's not that good because i don't have so much expirience but hey, i'm still learning. And oh i need a chan in my life so fucking bad i might cry.😭🩷

[midnightbrightside]

The thing about Kristoph is... He has a bizarre sense of entitlement. He's delusional, His breakdown at the end makes me think he doesn't even understand he's in the wrong,

He think's he's in the right and he think's he's owed things, so when he thinks he's been slighted, he does shitty thing because he thinks he can get away with it, he doesn't need to, but he thinks he's right so he does it anyway

As such, I imagine Krissy actually falling for Nick at some point during their confusing 7 years

Why? Cause he like Phoenix's attention and affection (Kris is definetly a man who didn't get enough love as a kid) and he thinks he deserves his love and attention.

Who cares if he majorly screwed over Nick and got him disbarred? He likes his affection so he should have it. Nick is hot and Kristoph is Gay so he shall posses him.

But notably, I can imagine Kristoph actually being hurt by the fact that Phoenix exposed him. He's delusional and entitled, how dare Phoenix do this to him after everything.

"How dare he not get over what I did to him and make me face the conseqences of my actions?!"

You feel me?

oh my god i see it. especially bc i do also hc that he felt very betrayed and offended by phoenix exposing him! he thought he knew Phoenix better than that and he has to realise he was wrong, maybe the seven years of companionship wasnt enough to fool the turnabout terror. he either underestimated phoenix's dedication to the truth or he thought he had broken phoenix down enough that phoenix would let kristoph frame olga without question.

personally my interpretation is a bit different when it comes to kris's feelings tho- i like to hc that kristoph would never even admit to himself that hes in love with phoenix. he rationalises all his feelings away bc if he lets those butterflies in his stomach reach his heart it might just kill him.

He feels posessive of Phoenix and wants to monopolise his time, but he tells himself its because he needs to keep an eye on him, keep him in check. any time phoenix smiles warmly at him it makes his heart race but he tells himself it's just excitement that phoenix is falling into his trap nothing more.

deep down he knows he's in love, of course he does, he's a smart man. but he also knows that the greatest expression of that love would be to come clean, and he cant be doing that, that would make Phoenix leave his life, leave him. so he decides to keep phoenix close by forcing him to remain dependent on kristoph's generosity, a selfish kind of love that's borne from paranoia and desparation.

he definitely does have a sense of entitlement tho. those 7 years of him paying for trucy's school trips and maining a friendship and intimacy with phoenix held a lot of value to him, and he has a hard time reconciling that with how seemly-quickly phoenix threw it all away. because he's selfish, spoiled, entitled, and in love.

[beanswrites]

Who I Should've Been

ya'll the idea for this popped into my head as i was writting the first chapter of my Peter B. Parker fic (soon on ao3!!) and i just had to do it immediately

i know it's just like a drabble but lmk if you want a whole, one-shot version, i think this has some VERY GOOD angst, second-chance romance potential

also brace yourself this is ANGST angst, i know there's no like major death or anything but it still HURTS😭😭😭

pairings: Peter B. Parker (from Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse) x fem! reader

tags: angst, regret, hurt/no comfort, kind of a cliff-hanger??

summary: Peter is your ex-boyfriend, which you broke up with because he never put in much effort into your relationship. Seven months later, you find Spiderman on your rooftop after one of his patrols.

requests are open!! | masterlist | rules for requesting

It was a cold night in NYC, usual for November. You had just gotten off from work and were in a desparate need for some fresh air, so you made way to your building's rooftop.

It wasn't particularly nice - nothing that would get people to come regularly. Especially you. This place was your secret place with Peter, that jerk of you ex who didn't bother once to call and ask you how you've been in the last seven months. Seven fucking months since you got in a fight and broke up, and he never even asked you how you've been.

Yet, it seemed like the only option, so tonight, it wouldn't matter. He wouldn't matter.

There was another figure out there - one of your neighbors, you assumed, sitting on the edge of the rooftop with his head in his hands, looking over at the city lights.

Wait, was the figure... Wearing a mask?

"Oh, Mr. Spiderman, hello! What.. are you doing here? Any villains? Oh, god- Should I leave?"

Spiderman seemed equally as surprised and starstruck to see you as you did him.

"No, uh, no! Just, on patrol.."

You didn't believe a word he said. You knew very well how to spot a man in despair - and he looked like one.

"Could I.. sit here?"

"Sure."

You sat next to him, wallowing in the beauty of the many lights. The silence between you two was uncomfortable, since it was obvious he had something weighing heavy on his mind.

"Are.. Are you okay?" You ask, unsure whether you should try and pride in.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm.. I'm gonna be okay."

"You don't look fine to me..."

Spiderman bit the inside of his cheek, like he was struggling to say whathever was wrong.

"I, just... Going through a break up"

"Yikes. Bad one?"

"Yeah. Pretty bad."

"Me too. I know it sucks, but it'll get better over time"

He chuckles sarcastically, shaking his head. If only you knew...

"No, not really. Not for me, at least"

"Aww, come on! It will get better, it always does-"

He cut you off sharply, a stern look in him.

"No, it never does. Not when you fucked up as bad as I did. Not when... Shit, not when you lose as much as I did."

An uncomfortable silence reigned. You felt bad for him, but in the end, you could relate. You, too, were trying to heal from a break up that broke you.

"You love her?"

He looks at you. His eyes are covered by the mask and yet, you feel how he's looking at you: full of regret and sadness.

"More than anything... But I fucked up. She won't take me back."

You nodded, your gaze returning to the city skyline.

"What about you..? You miss him?"

Please say yes. Please say you've been a wreck without me like I've been without you.

"Well, it's... Complicated. He was the greatest love I've ever known but.. He just wasn't there for me. Ever. And it eventually got too much for me. His abscense, his lack of attention, everything. It's been a long time, and I think I moved on pretty good. But.. But I still miss him sometimes."

Spiderman smirks.

"He must be an idiot"

You chuckle sweetly, enjoying your time with the superhero.

"Yeah, I guess he kinda was. It's one of the things I loved most about him"

He smiles sadly, suddenly getting up.

"I should go now, got some bad guys to catch. You take care of yourself, alright?"

All you could do was nod before he swung from your building onto another, and then another, and then another....

Maybe it was just your imagination, but the sound of Spiderman's voice sounded awfully comforting. Awfully familiar.

that's all for this one (or is it???)!! thank you sm for reading, follow for more! and lmk if this should be a one shot!! <33

[handgiven]

I NEVER KNEW YOU BUT I KNOW YOU WERE LOVED

a short story about an angel choosing to live within a physical body for the first time, a taste of emmanuel's past, through his point of view .)

(trigger warning for starvation, abandonment & death mention)

i saw the girl alone, first, and i knew she was looking for somebody. the woods were dark back then and dense with flora small and tall, in a continuous conflict over the few specks of light that came down to the forest floor. i knew those woods well, travelling ray of sunlight, greeting all those struggling plants like old friends. they were in a battle of life and death and i couldn’t decide it for them, but i could touch them gently and say do not give up yet. sometimes that was enough.

the girl needed more than that. scraped knees and teary eyes, sprawled over the roots of an old tree, she looked like she just tripped over, but it’s been hours that she was there, crying and screaming in a language i did not yet understand back then. a ray of sunlight can do little more than peek through the leaves and dry a tear or two. a ray of sunlight can hardly comfort a human soul so deeply and unconditionally upset as that of a child, abandoned.

i remained near, watching. there were other things to do, surely, but i worried that should i leave her, i might never find her again. humans had a way of being so fleeting back in the day. a flower i knew i knew i would find a thousands of years later growing in the same place, generations down the line. or just encounter its familiar atoms turned into another one’s lifeblood. humans had no such luxury. dead humans would not in turn be turned into new ones, and only those that stayed alive were allowed to procreate. humans were ephemeral even to me, as a wave of light.

i stayed. for hours anchored in one place through the power of sheer human anguish. the loud sounds in her threatened to tear her apart, until she fell silent, exhausted. ocassionally a sob would still make her shoulders tremble, but a sort of deadly resignation took over as she was cradled by the tree roots and nothing more. the world grew colder as night approached and i knew there was nothing left to do, for the lone ray of sunlight bears no power in the dark.

she shivered as the cold snuck closer to her, but so did i. settling into her very arms, i was there as a source of comfort, hoping someone she knew would show eventually.

they didn’t. two more days and nights have passed and though i did my best to shield her from unwelcome attention from creatures lurking in the dark, i could tell she was growing weak. i didn’t yet know how, i knew very little about humans back then. first i thought she was just discouraged, a few times i’d entered her chest to be her guiding light but – her feet wouldn’t carry her any more, even if she tried. she cried less of desparation and more of pain. she spoke things i still didn’t understand but that i felt on some deeper level. it broke my heart even before i had one.

she opened up her soul to me, unknowing. unraveling there in solitude. her father left her there, made her promise to wait and never came back again. the things in the dark tore him apart. she didn’t know it but i’d seen his bones a little farther along the way. she didn’t know it but if it wasn’t for me the things in the dark would have found her, too.

she had her father’s eyes, deep and dark and full of wonder. or so i imagined they were before everything. i knew those eyes from her memory, and with each passing day that was where she spent more of her time. no one was coming. not her father, not her family, not her tribe. i was there but i was but a ray of sunlight.

i came to know her father’s face. she thought of him lovingly, even though he’d left her. she was still hoping. in memory, i learned to know his hands, too, and his arms, as they held her and fed her food. his smiling lips, the curls of his hair as they bounced, his voice deep and dramatic as he wailed when she held his hair in her tiny fist, when he carried her around upon his shoulders. i never knew him but i knew he loved and was loved.

i found myself wishing i had hands of my own. i found myself wishing for more than to be a ray of light, a metaphysical reminder of god’s everyday presence with no grasp upon the living world. i found myself wishing i could do more when the child fell sick from lack of food and care. i found myself – creating.

i had never created anything before. i was a humble witness to the beauty of the creator’s work but i did not bear the power they had. i did not know how, for i had no imagination, not an ounce of creativity, just this love too big, and a conscience full of living memory of someone i’d never met. that was what i used to create, in the end.

a body of clay as i’d watched done before, penetrated by sunlight, and made warm and dry from within until the uppermost layers began to crack and fall apart. layer by layer, thin as a leaf, they turned to dust and through their departure a face began to form. a neck, a chest, a limb. the grass growing by the riverside darkened and curled into hair and for the first time, my hands were mine. i came to life kneeling upon the earth, touching grass with my fingertips and recognising from whence i came. his face looked at me from the lazy river and i promised him i would do right by the both of us.

the worry i felt moving through the forest was ever so physical and i couldn’t tell if it was because having a body was so much heavier than i could imagine or if it was because i’d let her go for more than a few moments. once again i was terrified i would push the curtain of leaves aside and she would no longer be there. how could i tell how long i’d been gone? it is not every day that you embody the earth.

her body was frail and weak. she was breathing with difficulty and i’d realised my chest did not move. i drew in a breath, foreign and strange, and in it i tasted the world for the first time. green and brown and beautiful, i could feel it upon my tongue and parting my lips ever so slightly, i recalled i’d picked up some apricots while by the riverside. i’d seen them in her memory, i knew she was happy the last time she had them. i knew she needed every bit of strength in order to find her way back home.

i touched her hand, then, ever so gently, and my physical head felt dizzy with the sensation. not only did the world have a taste, touching a human being had a feeling. her hand was small and i could feel the very real smallness of it upon my palm. she was small and i could hold her in my arms with ease. her eyes looked at me and when i saw her looking i could feel her very soul reaching out. she knew my face, she knew who i was there to be and she loved me with every fibre of her being. she knew i would come back for her. she knew she was safe.

i carried her in my arms the whole way to a settlement. i gave her water to drink and food to eat and i’d recognised that if i had known to do that earlier she needn’t have suffered so much. it was my fault that she suffered so, but it was also me who saved her life, and she in turn saved mine. started mine. sometimes i can still feel her frail trembling body in my arms. i can hear her voice in my ears and my heart fills with love. i know not if it is because i stole her dead father’s face. but a part of me thinks that it’s because she saw me, for who i was and who i was capable of becoming.

she saw mercy and love and healing. for through touch i could give so much more than as a simple being of light. having a body, i found i knew others’ bodies better than as a mere onlooker. i knew their pains and their wounds and the blood that spilled when they were hurt. i knew where to touch them to make them better, where to help them heal. she saw me, and i loved her too.

i left her near the fire, where i knew they would find her soon enough. her father was dead and i could not be that to her, nor could i hope to try. she found a new family and she never saw me again. i saw her a few times, from a safe enough distance. i saw her happy and sad, but mostly just living a human life. ordinary and exciting as the first fall of snow. i never met her father but i still carry him with me to this day. a vision out of love and hope. i could never wish for better hands to hold the world in.

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 22 !!!

lets go batcherssss 🤟

The Bad Batch 2x02

Omega's "told ya" is so full of sass omg

"crashing?!" yup

Echo holding Omega 🥺

Wrecker's not even there and Tech is roasting him 💀

"we are alive" BRO 😂

😫 Tech falls count: 2

Echo helps Tech up then he leans on Omega 🥺

the way he knew his leg was broken and by the weight of pressure

"we STILL haven't landed" 🥲

Captain Wilco my love 💕👑

Echo and Omega pulling Tech up 🤲

"Havoc 2 ... plan 00" 🥲 their codes their plans

Omega tugging on Echo's arm to get his attention 🥺

Omega's "roger" and her lil salute to Echo... a child soldier (along with all the clones oop)

didn't take long for Wilco to find tbb 💅 ... those tk troopers could never

"It's a toy, makes you happy" Omega now has 4 toys 🥲

Echo and Tech bickering lol

"Ace" 💕

"not separatist, Serennian" Tech: "I never thought of it like that" 💔

cheeky Omega sneaking off alone tsk tsk

this friend getting Tech to help him but also probably taking his mind off the pain 🥲

YES WRECKER HE'S SO INTELLIGENT FR !!! this is his Tony Stark moment 'he built it in a cave from a bunch of scraps!' 🥰

oopsie Tech was a little too distracted teehee

Tech is literally walking on a broken leg to get to Omega 😭🤲

Omega says "Echo" so excitedly 🥲 as she blinds him with her torch lmao

Tech is so close to passing out and he still- 😫

Hunter and Wrecker piloting 👌

Tech stayed awake long enough to take them all out my mans needs some sleep and some bacta

I can picture Echo's face under there like 😟 and his desparate "please" I'm-

"Ace" i love this guy hehe

Tech's whole arm wave to Echo and Omega 💕

Tech helping Omega up and them both helping Echo up I'm a sucker for what @anonymous-galager and I like to call non-sexual physical contact in little moments like that

"I'm a survivor remember" 👀 foreshadowing?? 🤞

Wrecker patting his new tank blaster 😍

Omega and Echo chatting 💕 "we made the right choice Omega, I'd do it all again" my whole heart right there

Rampart 😡😡😡

Wilco I'll never forget you bby you will be avenger I promise 😘

oof that was a lot of emotions !! I'm gonna do a few more a bit later !!! I literally cannot express how much I love this show yall they're all just so 🥺🤲

also enjoy a sneaky pic from ep 1 bc I just found it and I love it hehe

[daisyvisions]

Okay FUCK now the both of you have me thinking like what if Sangyeon finds out that you, Eric's girlfriend, are a virgin and suddenly starts pulling the oh so careful and caring 'father-of-the-group' card to be like "Eric I need to be the one to take her virginity or else how will I know that I can trust her to treat you correctly? 🥺🤔" — because he doesn't want to admit that he's been eye-fucking you since the first time Eric introduced you both and also he has a massive corruption link especially when it comes to you — and Eric who is constantly desparate for his hyungs love and care and attention and also maybe slightly has a not-so-subtle fantasy of sharing you with his leader immediately gives in

I'm- holy shit that's even HOTTER NOW 🥵 I can only imagine sangyeon being so keen on corrupting you but when the time actually happens that he takes your virginity he suddenly idk.. becomes so soft??? like corruption kink is still there but somehow some weird intense feelings hit him that he turns into this soft!dom and keeps on kissing you while he fucks you deep and slow 😮‍💨 and Eric's obliviousness doesn't see how the sex becomes different between you and sangyeon like it's borderline passionate (I mean it's passionate with Eric too) because he just wants to make his hyung happy? 😩

[wrenthedarkurge]

Kinktober Prompt: Public

It was a private party. One that only the elite of Baldur's Gate were privy to. He had made sure of that. This was to see the little playthings he loved to twirl around his gilded fingers dance for him yet again.

Again and again did he relish this song and dance. The lords and ladies who came to him to fawn and simper at his blood red boots. How utterly delicious.

But he hadn't expect her.

The crowd parted for a tiefling woman with gilded horns and a black silk dress that left little to the imagination. Some out of annoyance at this rude interuption, others out of fear. She introduced herself as Wren but he knew this already. He knew intimately but she held no recognition in those beautiful blue topaz eyes.

It was a sting he hadn't expected. To have someone you knew so well down to the very birthmark and every little thing that would make her laugh. And just nothing.

However she watched him with those hunger eyes that he knew so well. He paid attention to the way her dress shifted just so, how her tail lazily drifted side to side when bored with those around her but curled and uncurled in her curiosity when she looked to him.

It was an itch that he knew he should let be. The music demanded a dance and she immediately went to him, glaring down those who attempted to take his attention. She did not allow anyone but her to have this first dance.

Lord Enver Gortash took the offered hand with a florish, spinning her to him in a show that pleased the audience. Everyone wanted to see just who the soon to be Archduke of Baldur's Gate would possible give his first attentions to. Who was this woman who dared to take his hand?

The moved together as one. One that seemed to surprise her but him. Never him. He remembered the hot nights they had spent together and wondered if she recalled a single detail of how many times she had called his name.

Her hands came to hold him possessively as if sensing the attention they had on them, as if she were to claim him without saying a word. As the dance went on they grew closer, silk and cashmere so close they whispered against one another, glittering gold tinkling together. He finally ended the space between them, earning him a gasp to which he could only grin.

But that gasp was replaced by a challenging look of her own.

To her this complete stranger, this lord of Baldur's Gate, this fashionable man was just that a stranger. But one she intended to claim by the way she gripped his collar and yanked him down, claiming his mouth with hers. His head swam with the taste of wine and spice and- blood. She still held that bit from her lineage that was as reminisant of the past.

That kiss became more desparate as memories came flooding back, the sweet scents of their intimacy. Her tongue was demanding and probbing and he took her by the hair to restore the power to his corner. She hissed but let herself be held and he nuzzled the nape of her neck before biting the tender flesh beneath.

Her claws tore at his high priced shirt which only made him sink his teeth in deeper, a moan barely masked escaping her.

He had in the beginning wanted merely to taste her once again, to savor an old acquaintance but this... this was a rush of something that had once been his and only his. All he could think of was the potential lovers she may have gained during his absence and it burned a whole in his pride. In his head. In his... he wouldn't say heart.

He swore he lost that long ago.

To think that someone else may have claimed her, he wouldn't stand for it. He pushed her against a standing pillar in the center of the room, lifting her, forcing her to wrap her legs around his waste lest she hang awkwardly, his tongue lapping at her throat, her collarbone down to her breast which he quickly tore the fabric aside to get to. He would pay for a new dress, a better one, one that would grant him the audience he was entitled to.

Wren shifted against him, groaning when she could feel his need growing and she took a fist full of hair, pressing him to her breast. He was not about to disappoint after all. He had a reputation to uphold.

Gortash lapped and suckled at the hard nipple just begging to be his focus, Wren unable to remain still, gripping his hair or petting it, egging him on. Her taste was enough to drive him mad.

He couldn't deny himself long. A quick feather weight spell later he was able to unlace his trousers, his gilded hands making quick work at the thin underwear of hers and sucked in air when he felt just how wet she was for him. He expected he would tease her, make her beg for him to take her but gods above and below he couldn't deny himself the pleasure and memory of burying himself in her and hearing that moan reserved only for him.

Gasps broke out in the crowd yet not a soul looked away. Hungry gazes couldn't help themselves as they watched their lord push himself further and further into this stranger until he was hilted within her and his breath shuddered at the sheer effort not to fuck her senseless right off the bat.

Wren had another idea however.

She braced herself against the pillar, clawing his silk cloaked shoulders and began to ride him, slow and meticulous, putting him through his paces as he tried in vain to take control of the pace. No matter how he tried she kept the slow agonizing pace.

She was all her remembered and more, her scent filling his head until it was all he could do but think of her. She clutched him so tightly it was all he could do to keep his head on straight. The two wrestled for control as she fucked him to the point of insanity, almost almost making him beg for release.

He, the Scion of Tyranny, could feel it on his lips trying to escape him but he would not sink so low.

But dear gods did she try him.

His heart thundered his chest as he could feel her own through their copulation and that pressure building in his spine was growing to an uncomfortable breaking point.

It was only when she cried out, cried his name, begging that he give her everything that he came and she did so as well. He stiffened while pulled him into a kiss that he couldn't help but return.

When they were spent, panting and trying to calm their racing hearts the crowd applauded the couple, offereing their compliments on such a fine party. Such a lovely surprise.

How much they hoped there would be another very, very soon.

-End-

[apriiciitty]

one for my enemy -mid-read-conclusion¿?-

people of the internet,

I'm halfway reading 'one for my enemy' (specifically page 90, II. 14) and I've got a few thoughts I want to share;

besides the fact that I love olivie's writing style and the atmosphere she creates in her world, I found I like a lot her characters and their personalities.

in this case I would like to share that so far, I dislike one character (even though I feel like there is more to come?) and that is, the sunshine: Roma :)

SPOILER AHEAD

so this is a tiny 'study' around him because I feel pity for him:

till page 90, our lovely dima still is in a never-ending coma so his family, specifically his father and his middle brother feel a special need to take revenge on Mashas family, since they are the cause of his state.

and so we have Roma, who feels this forced need to take revenge on a very personal level. so I simply think that, he is using this opportunity, to level-up himself in his fathers eyes.

I feel like his hate for the Antonova's is forced on to him because of his family, so after the incident with Marya on Dima, he felt the need to the things in his own hands and prove himself capable to his father, using the most wicked ways he could possibly thing of.

I hate him as a character because he is so influenced by the need for attention and recognition from his father as well as his entire family, that he doesn't think logical anymore, his thoughts and emotions have been darkened up and influenced by his jealousy and the need to come on the surface and so he gathered mixed hate from various sources and decided to aim it and let it out on the antonova family.

like, he doesn't think smart, his technics for revenge are just poor and will definitely expose his plan but since this is the only avalaible option for him at that moment, he just makes dumb moves that will get his brothers and whole family in trouble. especially the way he pushes lev into a mess of dangerous things and expects him to overdo every task successfully. like bro..

simply put: Roma is so washed up with -understandable but also not understandable- hatred that blinds him all the way up. and so actually, the one who's in fault here, is koschei, his dad.

but who knows, maybe I'm wrong...

if you are currently reading the book as well OR/AND want to share some thoughts please drop your opinions, I'm desparate for conversation about this masterpiece.

ps.: olivie blake is my new bestie but she doesn't know it yet :)

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Dark Forest Residences: Firetooth & Furzeflower

Firetooth

Aliases / Nicknames: Honey, Love, My Fire

Gender: she-cat

Sexuality: heterosexual

Family: unnamed mother, unnamed father, Furzeflower (mate)

Other Relations: unnamed mentor

Clan: Shadowclan, Starclan (formerly)

Rank: warrior

Characteristics: manipulates her mate into killing his new love to punish them both for moving on, bullies those she thinks are weird

Number of Victims: 3

Number of Murders: 1 (indirectly)

Murder Method: manipulates others into killing for her

Known Victims: Sparkstream, Furzeflower, Spottedbark

Victim Profile: cats she thought was weird, her mate, her mate’s new love

Cause of Death: drowned, killed by Buzzhop

Cautionary Tale: not all visits from a Starclan cat is a visit from a friend

Story:

She didn’t care much when Sparkpaw left for Riverclan. She was always too weak anyways. Besides, now that she was gone, Buzzhop would stop shouting at her every time she tried to... build Sparkpaw’s courage.

She hadn’t thought much of it when Buzzhop woke her up and asked to take her on a walk, too tired to. But as her mind cleared, something had felt wrong, and she tried to walk away.

But Buzzhop wasn’t having it. She had bit deep into Firetooth’s scruff, dragging her through the trees and across the pebbly shore in spite of Firetooth’s desparate attempts to claw her away. She couldn’t get away as her head was held beneath the lake’s surface, and was greeted in Starclan by Snakelight, a fellow victim.

She spent many bitter moons in the starry fields, spending most of her time watching over her Clan, and feeling glee as she witnessed Buzzhop impaled on a branch.

What most certainly did not bring her joy was seeing her mate, Furzeflower, find someone new.

Some other cats tried to get her to calm down, saying things like “it’s only natural,” and “you should want him to be happy.”

No. He was moving on, and by doing so he was forgetting her. He was erasing her memory. 

She didn’t care what rules she broke to contact him and his dreams, angered by the joy he showed in seeing her again, and let him know that if he truly was so happy to see his mate again, he wouldn’t have gotten a new one.

He was sad to break up with Spottedbark, but said that he would do it for Firetooth. 

But it gave Firetooth an idea. Furzeflower needed to be punished for moving on, and Spottedbark needed to be punished for taking what was hers.

Two birds with one stone.

It took time, but finally Furzeflower broke under her constant pestering. 

Firetooth could have bounced with joy. That is, until she was confronted by a group of furious Starclan warriors, Spottedbark included, and exiled into the Place of No Stars.

Furzeflower

Aliases / Nicknames: Sweetie

Gender: tom

Sexuality: hetersexual, biromantic

Family: unnamed mother, unnamed father, unnamed brother, Firetooth (mate, formerly), Spottedbark (mate)

Other Relations: unnamed mentor, unnamed apprentice

Clan: Shadowclan

Rank: warrior, kittypet

Characteristics: kills his new mate to honour his first mate’s wishes, manipulated into killing

Number of Victims: 1

Number of Murders: 1

Murder Method: biting throat

Known Victims: Spottedbark

Victim Profile: his mate

Cause of Death: age-related complications

Cautionary Tale: be wary of what you are told. Are the wishes of your loved ones the best wishes for all?

Story:

He was four moons old when Sparkpaw left, too young to see his to-be mate in her cruelty. 

Well, almost. When he became an apprentice, Firepaw was mean to him as well, but he took it as some hazing, and put up with it. 

Spottedpaw, another young apprentice who was kits with him, experienced it as well. Unlike him, she was willing to yell at Firepaw for it, as well as go to their mentors. Having to clean out the elders’ den, Furzepaw could tell that Firepaw wasn’t too happy at the young she-cat.

He had decided to take the blame, putting Firepaw’s attention to him. Her bullying would continue, and Furzepaw hated to find that he was catching feelings for the mean she-cat.

But he was happy when Firepaw came to him and explained, albeit rudely, that she liked him. They decided to become mates when they both earned their warrior names, and did just that. 

They lived happily together, Firetooth’s mean insults becoming simple banter. But it wasn’t long after that her body was found in the lake.

Furzeflower had mourned like no other, refusing to leave his nest or let go of the parts that still held Firetooth’s sent.

The only one able to finally make him stand was Spottedbark. She was supportive, making sure he ate, checking on him regularly. Furzeflower felt bad at first when he realized that he was beginning to really care for the kind she-cat, until he told himself that Firetooth would want him to be happy.

That is what he told himself.

He was devastated to find out otherwise, and held back tears as he told Spottedbark that he wanted to break up.

He tried not to listen as Firetooth became more and more angry, wanting him to hurt Spottedbark in worse and worse ways, spinning lies about her that he knew were lies but that he just couldn’t take anymore.

He took Spottedbark out on a private walk. Sneaking away, he climbed a tree and bounced on her, trying to snap her neck quickly. But she had survived, and he was forced to fight her, see her shock, feel her desperate attempt to get away before he finally clamped his jaws on her throat.

His guilt was immeasurable, and his mind felt crazed when even then, Firetooth stopped visiting him. He had done what she wanted, broke for her, and she was silent.

He was no warrior. So he left, becoming a kittypet and living in shame until he was taken to the housefolk’s medicine twolegs.

Additional Information:

--Firetooth stopped visiting because she was exiled into the Dark Forest at the same time he exiled himself. That, and also she stopped caring after her goal was done.

--Furzeflower’s scar is from Spottedbark.

--Furzeflower’s collar also most likely looks different than the buckle that is shown, as cat collars should not look like that and should instead be able to unclip easily in case the feline gets trapped in a bush or some other thing (luckily Jackdawfoot’s victims’ owners didn’t know of that).

[angelizs]

Oho im a curious anon now I gotta know if you have any more thoughts on jade and azul (or just one of them) I like hearing peoples take on characters!

ooh I like curious people, of course I have thoughts on Jade and Azul!! I'll gladly share them with you my dear anon <33 and if you'd like to say your thoughts on them as well, feel free to!

as I mentioned in my Floyd brainrot, I'm not immune to Octavinelle propaganda, they are actually my favorite dorm! they are all sooo interesting, both on their own and as part of a dynamic, be it between themselves or other characters!

time to dive deep into the waters of my Octavinelle thoughts. prepare yourself, it's a deep dive in.

the same warning as in Floyd's post: this is my own view of the characters that may not be 100% accurate and anyone can disagree!

I'll talk about them separatedly and then as a trio later on, so let's get started with the dorm leader, shall we?

AZUL

if you've seen my writing before anon, you might have noticed that I particularly like to make Azul suffer a bit, but I swear I love him!! it's just that I also love to break his carefully constructed façade and look at what's inside, what are Azul Ashengrotto's inner feelings, what are the things that stay in his mind only for him to ever see or hear, what is he hiding deep down?

oh Azul, where to start with him?

Azul is one of the most popular characters in the fandom, he's got a perfect combo going on for him: he's one of the housewardens, part of Octavinelle and he's got a tragic backstory. triple strike!

not only that but his businessman like persona and cunning schemes get a lot of attention, not to mention that he's twisted from such an iconic villain! Ursula from the Little Mermaid is certainly someone that stays in your mind even years later!

I'll begin at the beginning, and go on till I come to the end, then!

Azul's backstory is one many people can relate to, myself included, which gathers a lot of sympathy from the fandom for his woes. it's awful to be excluded as a child simply because you look different and is a bit more introverted, and I get the overachieving academically to compensate for it and feel like you can prove them wrong and that you're just as capable, just as good.

seeing him having a similar story to myself actually created a deep connection with his character, because I feel like I get it. it was awful and cruel and he didn't deserve any of it, the loneliness and the yearning to have what other's have, to be like them, to be acknowledged. (I was also a huge crybaby lol so I was picked on for that as well. Azul struggles.)

that's what makes people be so forgiving towards his wrongdoings, because they get it. they can put themselves in his shoes and feel his anguish and despair and desparation. "should I have been in his place, would I have done the same?"

but here's the thing, I think Azul needed a wake up call. maybe not done so crudely like it was in the story, but I understand the prefect's situation, what could they do? plus, it's much more interesting, narratively speaking, to have some huge drama instead of a much needed therapy session.

having everything he's been working for, during YEARS, be destroyed in front of him like that, literally turning into sand, was a breaking point to his already severely bottled up emotions. so he had a reaction that was understandable, but it doesn't make it right.

he had to get stripped away of all the things he'd stolen to be forced to face that he was more than that. he didn't need to prove his old bullys wrong and get his revenge, what he needed was to realize his own potencial. yes, he's different, but that's not a bad thing. it's wonderful, even, and it should be something to be proud of! he should be proud of who he is by his own efforts, not by stealing and tricking people into unfair contracts then hoarding their powers into his vault. Ursula herself was always very confident and proud of herself, something Azul was lacking in order to follow the Sea Witch's steps.

like the prefect has the option to tell Azul at the museum in the end of chapter 3, he's got something that's better than any magic, and he should be proud of that! he's got drive and wits and he doesn't need to live through others, he can live for himself, too.

after all, Azul's big strong point is how intelligent he is. he doesn't need powerful magic (which he does have, not only his unique magic but also his amazing potions) nor powerful muscles (which he also has. Floyd mentions that Azul as an octopus is stronger and bigger than the twins), because he has a powerful brain that's enough to make him be feared, a silver tongue that can rope anyone into one of his schemes.

my Azul appreciation was a gradual thing, since at first I didn't like him that much. I didn't dislike him either, I just didn't give him much thought at all lol like "oh he's an asshole but Ace, Deuce and Grim should have seen that one coming, come on!" and when he sent the twins to bother the prefect I also expected that, so like that's fair ig?

but then after his backstory?? I got my 'oh. oh!' moment, like yes now I get it!! I really like how they all go and put back the photo on it's original place and how Azul changes his dealings afterwards. yes he's still a little shit who will trick people into them, but it's not as exploitive as before? in chapter 4 he's also a great help, even though he really didn't have to get involved (the twins must have been driving him crazy because they were bored lmao)

actually in chapter 4 I was mad at him for filming it live because YOUR RISKING JAMIL'S LIFE? HE COULD GET INTO SERIOUS TROUBLE FOR THAT YOU KNOW?? and then he reveals it was a lie and I think that was the first time I didn't expect one of his schemes, which was very nice because wow he does have basic empathy!!

I also see some people thinking that his whole personality is a fake and he's still the same as he was years ago, which I don't agree with. Azul has learnt how to keep his façade, how to interact with people to get what he wants, how to keep other's at arms lenght and not let them see him vulnerable, but he's no longer the crybaby octopus that would hide in his pot at his troubles. Azul has learnt to face them head on, at least after his overblot, and he knows how to keep himself composed until the very last straw breaks. he's not clingy or whiny, he does his best to keep his image as he wants people to see him, but it isn't all a mask. sometimes the lines blurry, in which point does the businessman Octavinelle's housewarden ends and in which point does Azul Ashengrotto begins? are they not one and the same?

SO. I think he's neat. and he's my little lab rat that I like to project onto <33

also his family life is so interesting? I've read his mother divorced his father and married her divorce attorney and that's so girlboss of her. I just KNOW miss Ashengrotto is the best and super pretty too. (I imagine her to be a bit like Ursula, so very elegant and confident!) also I think she might own a restaurant too? Azul looking up to his mom and trying to be like her that's so cute

JADE

HIIIMMMM JADE LEECH WHEN HEEEEE <333 I LOVE IT WHEN. WHEN. JADE LEECH WHEN.

fun fact: Jade was the one I took the hand of at the start of the game, so he's also my first SR card! we have a special connection I love him I hope he lives his best life. he's also on my top three favorite characters, so you might get a slight whiplash from the change of tone lol

to get started with, I love how his personality is different from Floyd's, but not in a total opposite way, but in a complimentary one. while Floyd is like a passionate crime, done in the heat of the moment, Jade is a premeditated one, carefully planned down to it's details. neither is more or less dangerous, they simply are what they are.

Jade's superficial image of just a butler type character is very insteresting, but I feel people mistake it as him trying to hide his true self? I don't think that's the case, at least not in my point of view. Jade oftentimes lets his more. uh. let's say sadistic side slip through his polite mask, and it's completely on purpose. the students might be more afraid of Floyd, who's openly threatning, but they're also scared of Jade, who lets his mask slip just enough for them to peer a fraction behind it and think "oh. he's also a little fucked up, so I better behave."

he pretends he just wants to help and seems like a polite pushover who has to deal with Floyd and Azul tormenting him, oh poor thing (like Trey mistakingly thinks on Jade's cerimonial robes vignette), but the truth is that he likes it. he likes Floyd's chaos and does nothing to stop it, at most he only pretends he does. he likes Azul's deals and business, as it keeps him entertained. he likes to be more discreet and stay in the shadows, only observing and appearing inconspicuous, it makes people lower their guards more easily, makes them easy prey to lure in and close his jaws onto. he's sharp and knows how to hit all the right weak points to make people cave in.

Jade could use brute force like Floyd does to get his way, but I think the predictability of the outcome would quickly bore him. a mind game is much more fun, twisting his words and using his charm to make people walk into his carefully laid trap, only to realize it when it's too late to do anything about it. that takes creativity and skill, it's very impressive even! that's why he's sooooooooooooooo * sighs dreamingly * he knows how to use his words to the max, how to weaponize them so! it's common to see him as a big tease in fanfics and I think it's because of this, he likes the word game and he likes the thrill a smart conversation can offer.

there's this mystery aura around him because you never guess what he's thinking, with his carefully constructed expressions. it's pretty unsettling, someone that's an enigma and could be either thinking about the weather or planning on your downfall without you suspecting a thing, all with a polite little smile on his face.

there's also one thing. HE'S VERY CAPABLE. HE CAN ADAPT TO ANY SITUATION! I LOVE CAPABLE CHARACTERS. Jade can do anything he puts his mind to, doesn't matter how hard it seems. if he really wants something, he will get it with his own hands. AND AND AND HE KNOWS HOW TO COOK. I know I'd offer my SOUL to take a single bite of a mushroom casserole that he made. I just KNOW it would be heavenly, the taste of the divine melting in my tongue and making me ascend to the lands above

he knows how to take care of himself, like doing stuff like laundry? easy. washing the dishes? he's on it. moping the floor? it's shining already. something about the maturity and domesticity of Jade doing simple house chores with dedication is so charming, I love capable people !!! like yes king your bedroom is wonderfully organized !!

AND HIS TERRARIUM HOBBY? IT'S SO CUTE. the way he looks at his little plants with so much love makes me wish someone looked at me like that too. imagine his concentrated face as he waters his plants and talks with them about his day??? SO ENDEARING. it's the usual stoic character showing his softer and loving side for me. (yes I am well aware he likes his terrariums so much because he likes the feeling of being the God of a little world of his own creation, living by his mercy. I still think it's very cute.)

another thing I love so much is his Mountain Lovers club. like I can genuinely see he cares about it, not to create a false sense of security because "oh look at silly Jade with his silly mountain excursions" but because he truly likes to explore the land's nature. Jade is very curious (as seen in the vignette where he asks Ruggie to teach him new recipes using herbs from the mountains and in several other instances) and there's a whole new world for him to explore, with so much flora and fauna he's never seen before. who wouldn't want to explore it and see all it has to offer?

also the way he's always promoting his club and everyone just thinks it's weird. JADE I'LL JOIN THE MOUNTAIN LOVERS CLUB SIGN ME UP! RIGHT NOW! yes he'd make me climb mountains and laugh as he sees me struggling after I'm five steps in but it will be all worth it.

THERE'S THIS ONE SCENE IN CHAPTER 4 WHICH HE SAYS WHAT HE'D DO SHOULD SOMEONE BETRAY HIM AND HE'S JUST SAYING SOME HORRIFIC NIGHTMARE INDUCING STUFF WITH A CUTE LITTLE SMILE? LIKE? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH KKSKDJSFKKSKSK (I'm pretty sure he was only joking. or maybe that's what he wants me to think. either way it was so funny)

HIS UNIQUE MAGIC IS SO COOL TOO. like. the first time it appeared I just thought "wait this is so shitty you can't do much with it all" BUT. THAT'S THE APPEAL. IT FITS HIM SO WELL!! Jade wouldn't like a UM that gives him easy answers whenever he pleases. no, having to carefully plan when or if he'll ever use it on someone, how to approach them and make them look into his eye without being suspicious, trying to fill the gaps of the info he does get, it's much more exhilarating than having the answers handed on a silver plater!!

ALSO HIS SMILE!!!!!!!!! IT MAKES ME GO FERAL!!!!!! not the fake ass one he's always got, the REAL ones, the ones when you can see his pointy teeth he usually keeps hidden and his eyes crinkled and there's pure joy on his face (like his union birthday groovy card!). they clean my very soul and give me the strenght to live another day

so. as you can see. I'm very normal about him. I like him a normal sane amount.

DYNAMICS

as they are already so captivating on their own, as a part of a dynamic they always have something to offer and can work well with any setting: comic, serious, dramatic, soft, anything really. it's also why it's so fascinanting to write them!

some particularly interesting dynamics I think they have with other characters are:

Azul and JamilI - IT'S SO FUNNY. AZUL ACTS LIKE A MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRL WITH A CRUSH AND JAMIL REJECTS HIM EVERYTIME HELPPP. also I think Azul genuinely wants to befriend Jamil as he feels they are similar and could get along well? but Jamil knows all about Azul's schemes and is way too smart to get caught in one of them, no matter how much Azul nags at him

Azul and Idia - THE BOARD GAMES CLUB MY BELOVEDS! on Azul's school uniform vignette their relationship is explored more in depth and it's. so very funny. Idia, despite not having an ounce of the social skills' Azul has trained himself to have, manages to get under his skin so easily. he says a taunt that gets in Azul's mind for DAYS

Azul and Riddle - they are besties. I make the rules and I'm saying they are. as the top of their grade and second year (responsible) housewardens, the two of them have a lot in common and are often paired together, such as in the very beggining of the game, in the prologue as they chase after Grim in the first twistune, and many cards have buddy level and duo magic between them! (like their dorm uniform ones!) a study session with these two would be SO productive

Jade and Ruggie - it might sound a bit unusual but hear me out! they are both my favorites. wait I have more reasons! Jade and Ruggie are very similar, both are vice housewardens (or a pseudo vice housewarden in Ruggie's case, since he might as well be one with how he does stuff in Leona's place), both are very capable and responsible, both are mischievous, both can cook and like to discover new recipes, both are cunning and can be deceitful and there's one scene in the game's 2 year anniversary animated short in which they are shopping at Sam's together, so they are also besties.

Jade and Cater - HEAR ME OUT! first things first, Cater is also so interesting and I feel he has so much potential. in Jade's birthday interview, he answers he would like to have Cater as a brother, which might sound a bit unexpected at first but soon becomes clear as to why! they are similar in the way they both hide their feelings and put a mask on for the public to see, even if their motives are different. Cater also has a cunning side that he shows on the beans day event, in which they form a partnership that was so interesting! I wish they had more interactions, as they both can see straight through each other's masks and play a complicated mind game with each other while also having some fun!

Jade and Vil - I haven't seen the vignette they share but the card is very pretty so I do think their dynamic has a lot of potencial! I think Vil, like me, would appreciate someone who's responsible and can take care of themselves, so someone as capable and (seemibly) reasonable like Jade would be a good break from Rook's and Epel's harsher personalities. I think Jade admires Vil as well, especially due to his poison making skills, and would like to learn from him.

Floyd and Riddle - yes Floyd likes to torment Riddle and oftentimes picks on him to the point he's very stressed, they both get under each other's skin (like when Riddle says Floyd is like his brother because he knew it would irritate him enough to make him leave him alone, in the anthology I think?) and it's such an interesting antagonistic relationship. they are not enemies that hate each other or anything, so it's very amusing to see them quarrel.

Floyd and Ace - the basketball buddies! it's shown that they actually get along pretty well when Floyd is not on one of his bad moods, as they bond over their love of fashion (especifically shoes) and of the sport. they also like to goof around in club pratice and cause Jamil headaches, and Floyd has said in his birthday interview he thinks Ace is entertaining enough to chose him as a brother.

Floyd and Kalim - both are very honest, energetic and excitable, easily surrendering to their whims to do as they please. I feel like Kalim doesn't see any malice in Floyd's words, and while that can be dangerous if he doesn't notice the signs of a bad mood, it could also be very entertaining to Floyd and make him want to spend time getting into shenanigans with him. (and, again, causing Jamil a headache.)

between the three of them, as a trio, they work very well too! Jade enables Floyd chaotic behaviour for his amusement and because, according to him, if Floyd is happy then so is he. Jade helps Azul as his right hand man, covering any blind spots in his steel armor and leading him into battle flawlessly, doing as is asked of him with enough leeway for some of his own entertainment. Floyd gets on Azul's nerves with his carelessness and mood swings, but remains loyal at his side. Floyd likes to go along with some of Jade's plots, staying close to him to the point that where one is, the other is expected to be as well. Azul cares immensely for the twins, his first ever friends, the ones that extended their hands to him and didn't doubt he could do it. they all work together well as an unit, years of familiarity driving them to almost read each other's minds, know how they work from inside out. that's the thing with childhood friends, they know your most embarrassing stories and your deepest fears, your most shameful moments and your best hidden desires, and they care about each other as if they were family. (though they refuse to admit it even under gunpoint).

I hope you know I'm not trying to say any of the octatrio are evil masterminds hiding and waiting to enact a fish world domination or any of that. at the end of the day, they are all highschool students with veeeeery dubious morals that just want to have their fun (even if most times it's not harmless at all). Floyd might squeeze someone until you hear something crack and procced to have touble to do his homework. Jade might manipule Azul's clients to perfection and make them sign shady contracts and then calls his mom to tell her about his day and yes, he's been eating his vegetables and making sure Floyd eats his as well. Azul might run a successful business at the school and earn a lot of money, only to geek out about strategy games at his club with one of the most introverted people of the whole school.

none of them are "soft and misunderstood bois who never did anything wrong uwu" but they also aren't "all of that's evil in the world incarnate into three devious merman who will strip you of all your dignity and leave you crying on the floor"

they are very complex and well written characters filled with more layers than an onion, and I could stay here all day peeling them off one by one. that's the allure of Octavinelle, their siren's song is strongly due to how they look at first glance showing to be wrong once you look deeper, this break of expectations fishing your attention and keeping it on them, wanting to watch just how will they surprise you next.

ALSO there's something I haven't discussed at all in this: their designs. I feel like there's a lot I could talk about that but it doesn't enter exactly in this personality focused analysis so I left it out. do let me know if you'd like me to tell my opinions on their designs or maybe on specific cards as well!

TL;DR: there's no way to sum up everything other than I'm insane about Octavinelle and have many thoughts about them

Extra: Jade's fact sheet, that I've rebloged once before as I think it's very interesting, Azul's fact sheet, Raven's Jade brainrot that I also agree on most parts, Jade laugh compilation that is one of my favorite videos in youtube and will add 10 years to your lifespan

[omni-scient-pan-da]

Okay so story time

I'm writing this on January 6th, 2022, it's a Thursday and almost 11:30pm and I really should be asleep by now if I want any hope of being a functioning human being to get through the quizzes I have in two of my AP classes tommorow but instead I'm here

Six years ago, as of the day I'm writing this, I was absolutely terrified of change, I hated the thought of it and I hated that everything suddenly was going to change when I felt like I had just gotten the hang of things

Six years ago, as of the day this is getting posted, I felt like the side character in someone else's story

I was there for emotional support to help other people shine, but when I had issues of my own, I was overlooked and all I wanted was to be somebody important, so much so that I dove into world after world of fantastical things that happened to fantastical people because they were good people that fought for what was right and lived happily ever after

And I was convinced that my life was going to be horrible because I so badly and desparately wanted to be special in some way, I wanted super powers or to marry into a royal family or to be transported to some magical world where the only issues I had was figuring out how to do the thing that was hard but obviously right

I was already unique, just not the kind of unique that made everyone flock around them because they were so cool and special, I was the kind of unique that stood out but made bad choices and decided to surround myself with people that weren't the best for me and I felt so disheartened because of that

And then, a few months later, my whole world fell apart and so I thought maybe if I just dug myself deeper into these fantasy worlds, if I just wished a little bit harder, if I was just a little bit more pure of heart then maybe, just maybe I could find the magic of the world that lay hidden just beneath the surface and would allow me to be just like the people I read about in books

And somehow, overtime, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to find the kind of magic I was looking for, if it did exist at all, it was going to find me and spending all my time searching for it wasn't healthy

And I think by that point, that was around the time I discovered fanfiction and the internet, and I started staying up late to dive into fantasies of a different kind but now? Now they were of fantastical people that had gone on fantastical journeys getting a much needed break, living happily ever after with the one they loved most, doing normal, ordinary things in a way that was so breathtakingly beautiful it couldn't help but captivate my attention

And so I started to romantize those things instead

Going to college and falling in love with your painfully straight roommate only to realize you're both gay and crushing on each other

Train rides, road trips, comicons, found families, spending time with friends, spending the night together when there's only one bed, falling in love with someone's words and realizing you actually know who the person is, texting a number scribbled on a bathroom stall, finding your soulmate against all the odds

And I started to glorify all these things that suddenly seemed attainable, and it got me through the day

Sure it wasn't happening now, but one day in the future, here was something I could actually obtain one day and I just had to wait until I had the funds or the transportation or the friends to do it with me

And then along comes a day like any other

Just... A normal Saturday, a week before the project is due if you want to receive extra credit

The day we're all going ice skating

And it's crazy and chaotic but it's fun, and there's laughter and sure there's yelling and frustration, but it's all in good spirit and the wind was freezing but we were all suffering together and my hands burned when I put them in that warm water but ultimately, Mystic was just trying to stop me from getting frostbite

And then we're standing in line for an HOUR waiting to get skates after walking for an unnecessarily long time in the freezing cold and my feet hurt like hell because I'm wearing skates that are two sizes too small for me and I can't balance for shit

And then we're ferrying across to the restaurant for dinner and it's nice

I'm struck with the realization that even though I'm exhausted and my social battery is running really low I'm happy, so happier than I've been in a really long time, and I'm not even thinking about the Psychology work I have to do when I get back home the next day because I am in the moment, I'm sitting and stealing cheese curds from Mystic and eating melted ice cream and making stupid jokes with my friends and wandering around Target aimlessly with my sister before going back home and passing out from exhaustion and it was fun

I feel loved

So much so that I made a collage of the day's pictures and made it my home screen, so I could look back on it and remember what a day December 11th was

And now, as I sit here at 11:40pm on a random Thursday, knowing I should be asleep, I can't help but remind myself that while the idealized versions of day to day life you see in fanfiction tropes are great to think about

And they have a possibility of occuring, and they could totally happen

It's the days that are messy, the days that don't go as planned, the days when you come home and immediately fall asleep because you're so tired that you look back on the fondest

When you're running back and forth across the neighborhood because you can't find your folder and you're supposed to go get froyo before showing up to the concert and your stupid uniform dress won't cover your bra straps you're having fun, and you're feeling loved and you're having the moments you dreamed about having

They may be messy but they're chaotic and messy and loveable and real

So now, today, on another December 11th, I would like to take the time to remind myself and anyone that made it through my rambling to find beauty in the now

"Embrace the mess" as fictional famous podcast creator Cinda Canning once said

Find your love and your joy and your hopes and dreams and aspirations in these moments right now, when they take you by surprise and people remind you that they love you

Even when it's not the romantic love you've been reading about for forever, you're loved and you're whole and as long as you can keep making it through the day, as long as you can keep reminding yourself to breathe, you'll stumble upon the December 11ths of life when you're meant to, and those will be the moments worth going for, not the glorified versions of fanfiction tropes that are much less likely to happen

Happy December 11th everyone, and may you have a good a day as I did, a year ago

[lastavenged]

would your muse consider themselves an extrovert or an introvert? / karen

tania always coming in to give me good questions!

Okay, so first, let's preface that people can change between two over the course of their life. I'll provide a webster definition of the terms as well. As well as I speaking from 616 Karen and my own takes on Karen, which will be influencing her "cherry picked mcu-lite" verse.

INTROVERT : a person whose personality is characterized by introversion: a typically reserved or quiet person who tends to be introspective and enjoys spending time alone

EXTROVERT : a person whose personality is characterized by extroversion: a typically gregarious and unreserved person who enjoys and seeks out social interaction

I wanted to be an actress once. I wanted to be the center of attention in the worst way... and that's exactly what happened.

Additionally, I wanna highlight this quote from Karen. Plenty of people who become actors and actresses, are by internal nature, introverts yet present as an extrovert given the nature of their work and how public facing they are. The same can be said for Karen.

And sometimes who you are... or were... gets in the way of doing that. So you put on a mask...

Karen fluctautes between saying she is an extrovert and presenting as an extrovert; to saying she's an introvert and still presenting as whatever you expect for her. Given all of what happens to her, how much she was in the spotlight until that dimmed and she fell far down, she became a lot more reserved after that but she still had to present herself as extrovert.

She was an extrovert and is extrovert, because much of her life, the darkest parts of her life; she was alone and desparately craving to not be alone. That's one of the by definition traits of an extrovert. She seeks social interaction, enjoyss it, and that's where the need for social validation starts to come in. It consumd her, and now she seeks to reverse and hold close all the parts of her life, and comes off as an introvert; sets herself apart from others and goes off alone, needs to be alone to some degree.

As she kind of heals, she does go back to truly being an extroverted person, whose not using extroversion as a mask, as an expectation and an act. Although, Karen's still a lot more inwardly reverse than she was before she became an addict and an actress.

Now for how she is portrayed in the MCU? Karen actually comes off a lot more as an introvert presenting as an introvert. Now, I am fuzzy on MCU Karen to be fair, and am working on re-fleshing her out and writing up my fusion / what I will allow and acknowledge for an MCU verse (i am sorry fam but my special interest is 616 comics so mcu is hard for me to get into and i wont be except for daredevil). She definitely is much harder to read through the MCU lens and a totally different identity than her comic counter part.

Meanwhile 616 Karen, who is kind of both, beecause she loses some of herself and loses her ability to have an identity that is solid to her. It's why Paige Angel is such a big and important arc to her, and from reading Cutting Edge (which is canon to me) I wanna hare this exert again as a final say of extrovert turned introvert still playing an extrovert Karen Page.

Karen Page liked to do her show in near darkness. It made it eaiseer for "Paige Angel", her on-air alter ego, to perform. Karen put into "Paige" all of her curiosity, her cynicism, her sympathy for the ideas and fantasies of the people who called in to her show. But there was something else about the show for Karen. It allowed her a safe place to perform, to play a role. She loved acting once, and it had led her as close to hell as she ever hoped to come. That was a long time ago, now. With painful effort, chance, and the help of friends she thought she had driven away, she had gotten her life back. Got away clean, except for the memories. In ways Karen Page didn't talk about, "Paige Angel" helped her exorcise the last bad demons of that ugly time. And if she could help her listeners just a little, or someone like Louis Bastuo, that was better than good: it was redemption.

Discovering this novel and this paragraph, it sums up Karen so well and presents to me, the answer to this question that you do not really know which she is. She's been both, she's been one, she's pretended to be one, she's needed to be one and then became the other.

[karla-the-elemental-dreamer]

Terra has gone from being an absolute wreck from his trauma and not believing in himself or his DG role, to absolutely smashing it out of the park as a dream guide. I kid you not, it's like my world and his position was made for him, energetically speaking.

He saved my ass on multiple occasions yesterday, as well as this morning too.

Yesterday (27 APR) was Riku's birthday in my timeline, but the connection with Riku has been sort of rusty lately. So when I finally got Riku in a morning dream, he said he doesn't really celebrate his birthday and not to get anything for him, but can make something if I insist.

Was still struggling during the day. Went for a nap in the afternoon. A dream came where Terra was seen wheeling all my IRL craft supplies into a room at the Land of Departure, and he joined in with making a birthday card for Riku. With Jak being the third dream guide, Terra had invited him over too.

Then back when I was awake, I noted that the world is currently in Mercury Retrograde again; meaning the energies make people uninspired and tired moreso than usual. As I was showering, all this inspiration came flooding in for me to do all these different projects, but it's not like it was solely from me. Rather, it felt like an energetic communication from Terra.

Firstly, he noted that I still had time to start a drawing for Riku's birthday. And then with Mother's Day being on the 14th this year, Terra signalled for me to make a card this year. And then that stemmed to me thinking I could do another painting again as well as trying to draw my cat. So Terra was like "what mercury retrograde?" and opened up a huge can of worms.

Then at night time, I thought to investigate what socials Terra's VA has, and then Terra's energy immediately spikes in a sense of desparation and like he was trying to get my attention. It's like he was tapping me on the shoulder heaps of times and saying no. He said that if I was thinking about his VA, then that means I don't think Terra is real. And also not to undermine the "False Idol" conscious work that I've been doing. He added to remember that these VAs don't care for a lot of ppl and are unreachable, whereas Terra cares heaps for me and would be around all the time at the snap of a finger.

And now to 28 APR, this morning. I wonder why absolutely NO ONE out of the fellow Riku fans said Happy Birthday to him on my post or even acknowledged it. Terra jumped in immediately, saying that a lot of people are still on a lower timeline (energy frequency) and so are basically more rigid (less light/spirit). Really what it means is that when a unique path is taken whether it's views, or the type of love given; most people overlook this or may lift their nose. Basically people on lower timelines don't stray from mainstream and may even dislike deviators. If it's not the common view of what a 'fan' is, then it's like it doesn't matter and/or exist.

I know Riku's mainstream birthday is 11 NOV, but because he declared 27 APR, this is what I'm faithful to. I still comment on some 11 NOV posts.

But back to Terra as a dream guide again. Apparently he's an INFP personality type, which I've discovered are the most understanding and compassionate. Like even though Riku and Jak are competent and very sharp, why do my energies keep aligning with and returning to Terra?

TBH the person I found the most scary at the start (being Terra) is actually the least, if at all. And he seems to deliver on my needs in the most natural way. Like he and I have formed an unbelievable bond and it's like he's using this timeline to redeem himself to his friends and to Eraqus.

There are times where Terra will suggest that he's saddened or disappointed by my actions, but he'll never openly admit it or make me feel bad for it.

Terra loves me not because I say he does nor do I want him to, but because his actions and energetic behaviours suggest so and he has been killing it.