#they dont want lesbians to be bi women or bi women to b lesbians

[clay-pidgeon]

tried to gently introduce nuanced identities to someone on tiktok by pointing out that due to enbians existing, ppl who werent women could b lesbians, and they said that only afabs could b enbians so. thats what i get i guess

[coolauntlilith]

I do block blogs calling a canon bisexual character gay/lesbian. No I don't see it as a blanket term kind of way, yall have made sure of that.

[axelotyls]

I am so done rich white cis het men

[apokalyptiskgengangare]

It feels kinda weird that lesbianism is the sexuality that always seems to come with like 10 asterixes. like lesbianism is a diverse a sexuality as all the others but it seems like it so much more lesbians need to granuralise and be hyper specific about what their deal is in hyper specific terms.

[hyperionheights]

bones sexuality headcanons

yeah i dont have proof (except angela) i just Know. call it my lesbian spidey senses. disclaimer that those are MY headcanons, you can have your own opinions on those ofc

main characters:

brennan: bi (preference for ugly men... but i digress). she probably started exploring her sexual orientiation in college and came to the conclusion that she's attracted to every gender to varying degrees. she's probably tongue kissed angela a few times pre season 1

booth: cishet ally! ⭐️ he's a bit confused but he's got the spirit, i'll give him that.. bi wife energy start playing whenever he walks into the room

zack: gayboi with a bad case of hero worship for dr brennan. naomi from paleonthology made him realise this isnt really what he'd like to excavate, if you get the gist... ;) (ew)

angela: imo? bi, but it's up to anyone. canon queer and i'm very happy about it

hodgins: bi. putting my foot down on this one- to me, hodgela is bi4bi. one day early into the series angela goes "why is everyone so hot... being bi is so hard" and hodgins is like "yeah, tell me about it" and they have a Oh, You Too? moment

cam: distinguished (ex-disaster) pan. she's all cool and collected now but in middle school she was probably stuttering whenever she saw a pretty girl

sweets: pan. boykisser. i just KNOW. that man is not heterosexual. probably had a few boyfriends in high school too

aubrey: bi? preference for women but in an alternate universe he and sweets are a thing

goodman: token straightie along with booth except i actually like him even tho even tho he took a 2 month sabbatical and never came back

squinterns:

clark: bi. a bit repressed and only realised it after breaking up with nora but as long as he gets there it's fine

daisy: pan. absolute girlkisser. she has the wlw equivalent of whatever zack felt for dr brennan. swaisy is a disaster pan couple.

fisher: pan- and i wont have it any other way. he was 100% checking sweets out when he came over to b&b's in s8, so i like to think when hodgins asks sweets "what is it with you and interns?" in 9x23 he's including fisher

wendell: bi and in a lab au he's dating vincent thank you

vincent: english twink and i think he and wendell should kiss in the lab lost & found

arastoo: straightie but we still love him. pan wife energy since he and cam are married

finn: god, i have No Idea but i have a feeling he doesn't either

wells: aro, and maybe ace too, but fyi even if he wasn't no one would want him

jessica: ... i used to say lesbian but i kinda let the jaubrey of it all get to me... pan vibes perhaps? i'll have to think it over. in another universe she and daisy are a thing too btw

other characters:

caroline julian:... lesbian. no i will not give an explanation for this one. sham marriage and all.

karen delfs: big pansexual energy coming from this random profiler?? i like her

villains: (do not take those seriously, but also...)

pelant: unlabeled. getting strangled by hodgins awoke something in him but he didnt have the time to figure it out between 8x01 and 9x04

taffet: very VERY mean lesbian

epps: heterosexual incel

broadsky: internalised homophobia over booth, clearly

kovac: the man pretended to be married to his sister. i'm not sure i even wanna know

[biracy]

abt your post abt bi women belonging in the wlw community just as much as lesbians : i was reading the replies and youre so right abt how ignorant people are abt what comphet really is. im a lesbian and like yea i think we would experience comphet in the most intense way since were not attracted to men in any level, but comphet isnt only abt that, its a symptom of the patriarchy forcing women to center men in their lives and hell even straight women experience comphet, let alone bi women. people just have thrown around the word comphet so much they dont even know the true meaning

I was actually gonna post abt this soon LMAO so yeah!! I think it's also a misunderstanding of what "heterosexuality" as a dominant social force is to say that lesbians who are not attracted to men can experience "comphet", but bisexual women who are attracted to men cannot experience it. "Heterosexuality" as it is defined by dominant social forces is not only "a relationship between a man and a woman" - it's almost always a relationship between a "masculine" man and a "feminine" woman, and quite often a relationship between a man and a woman that results in monogamous marriage and childbirth. When people write about comphet, they're not talking about how movies and TV and fairy tales and children's books and my parents and my teachers and my religion all came together and told me to want to fuck genderfucky bi guythings. There is a specific kind of man centered in the heterosexuality enforced onto women, and a specific kind of role that a woman is expected to take on in that heterosexuality. I think the idea that bi people (women especially) cannot experience "comphet" overlaps a lot with people who believe that all bisexual people have the capability to become "straight-passing" if they enter different-gender relationships, which is in and of itself based on, in my observances, the belief that "gay/lesbian culture" and "bisexual culture" are completely distinct and that bisexual people are in some way innately less capable of being gender-nonconforming (or as some Tumblr scholars will call it, "visibly queer"). Bisexual people often date each other, we're often trans and/or visibly gender-nonconforming, and that's not something that we can just turn off the minute we enter into a quote unquote "heterosexual relationship." I'm bisexual, I'm nonbinary and id as both a man and a woman (so I take part in all these "sapphic" conversations etc etc u know the drill), I'm weird and kinky and switchy, I'm polyamorous, right now I'm dating a cis butch bi girl and a trans + nonbinary pan guy. At this point in my life I have absolutely no interest in relationships with cishet men, I don't want to get monogamously married, I never want to have children. I have not performed heterosexuality any better than, idk, a "gold star lesbian" has, and I FEEL it, I'm given shit for it, every relative I have pressures me already about boyfriends and grandkids and whatever. I do think there are bisexual people sometimes who do conform more to Straight Society but a) I think there are an equal amount of gay guys and lesbians who conform to Straight Society tbqh and b) it doesn't cover the breadth of bisexual people who do exist and who do feel the pressure to conform to the mainstream, dominant social system of heterosexuality and who CANNOT conform to it any more than you, anon, probably can. So yeah TL;DR bi girls can definitely experience "comphet" lmao and people are probably gonna hate that I said that

[the-kitty-hell-system]

♡✰ the kitty hell system

》 it/xe collectively (ask for alters pronouns) (BLACK EDIT, ART, AND STIMBOARD REQUESTS R OPEN!!) ♫ hii we are the kitty hell system! we are a c-did system. we are intersex and trans/nonbinary, along with being an arospec enbian lesbian we are bodily an adult, 18+, and are indigneous arab-blasian but are an italian immigrant! (on my black side i am nubian egyptian and maasai tribe. on my asian side i am chinese and indian.) we are sensorily, mentally/intelluctually, and physically disabled! please do note : our caregiver helps us type/talk EVERYTHING. we also use our aac device to help. she helps us understand things, if she isnt there for whatever reason, we may talk in ways people may not understand because on our own our communication is EXTREMELY bad due to our intelluctual disability and autism. we use a screenreader so we'd prefer if you put image ids. also PLEASE put a flash warning or bright color warning on shit. we have epilepsy. we r a furry and a lion therian with several fictionkins. ☾ we are a jazz studies major in university! on this blog we talk about yugioh, bendy and the ink machine/dark revival, amanda the adventurer, cookie run, disability, the lgbtq community, psychology, music/bands i like, poc/culture, team fortress 2, the lion king, coco by disney, inu yasha, five nights at freddies, art, undertale, welcome home, sanrio, webkinz, lps, animals, the muppets, sesame street, dolls/dollhouses, toys, puppets, hades, sparklecare hospital, aesthetics, etc. we are critical of our interests as well. we are emo and apart of cripplepunk. 🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾 dni if... radqueer, radinclus, radexclus, support bi/pan/omni/lesbians/gays (lesbians who say they like men or gays who say they like women), support endogenic systems, pro-contact, support male lesbians or female gays, against nonbinary lesbians, against butch lesbians, against he/him or they/them lesbians, believe able bodied people can be in cripplepunk, believe in narc abuse/cluster b abuse, demonize any conditions, baby any conditions, below 15 years old, fetishize any conditions/races/sexualities/genders, misogynistic, ableist, homophobic, anti-semitic, racist, terfs, proshippers/pro-fic, south park fans, any mihoyo fans, toilet bound hanako kun fans, vivzie pop/helluva boss/hazbin hotel fans, killing stalking fans, idv fans, dsmp fans, ranfren fans, okegom fans, danganronpa fans, harry potter fans, yarichin bitch club fans, homestuck fans, transphobic, shtwt/edtwt, hetalia fans, fakeclaim people, fake disorders in general, transid, anti-neopronouns, anti-xenogenders, anti-kin/therian, thinks blackwashing is real/against black edits, whitewasher, uses slurs they cannot reclaim, intersexist, trump supporter, conserative, bigot, anti-furry, anti-educated self diagnosis, basic dni whateva, etc (srry for the long ass dni list, i keep seeing ppl break it despite its basic ass shit) i reclaim slurs, i will not tag the word queer, i also dont want able bodied people calling me a cripple or non-deformed ppl calling me deformed. thankyou. otherkin side blog : @lesbianvampiriclion stimboard side blog @deerstims banner by inky-trash. icon by me header + icon image IDS below!!

[butchviking]

i have no weird comments to make but all i know is ur not alone. i joined a group chat of local women bc i lost touch with my friends when i moved cities a couple of months ago and all. they talk about. is men. all of their boyfriends and their celebrity crushes and the men they think are the ugliest people alive look the same to me. how do you even engage with that as a lesbian? i'd hate to sound negative, and steering the conversation away from men doesn't work, so i just don't contribute anymore. even when you talk about women, straights will humour you for a little bit but you can tell they think it's kind of gross. then there's the classic straight woman "do you fancy me?" paradox and if you say no, they're insulted, and if you were ever to say yes, they'd be disgusted. it's incredibly isolating! tl;dr i feel you and we should make a better gc

so sorry my love i forgot 2 reply 2 this until i got another ask notif just now 😓 but yeah i feel u 100%.. i hang out with straight women they comment on dudes around us. we discuss movies they tell me how good so-and-so looked. they show me their boyfriends or guys they're seeing and im like 'yeah that sure is um. some guy.' and i dont think most of them would mind if i were joining in in my own way by commenting on women but i don't tend to do that anyway bc i still feel like a creep and a misogynist if i so much as look at an attractive woman, let alone comment on her appearance to strangers. funnily enough all i fucking talk about is men anyway but no-one in the regular everyday world wants to talk about THOSE men 😞 nd with people who DO want to talk bout those men often its 'i need gerards ankles on my shoulders NOW i ahve got to get her pregnant' like um ok. i think he looks like a little cherub or perhaps a small kernel of corn so i think we are on different wavelengths here. perhaps i do not belong in this conversation. i just want 2 b part of the fun :(

i hope u find local lesbians & perhaps bi women 2 make friends with and start a new local gc. gc for groupchat and for girls club. no boy talk allowed 🚫🙅‍♂️🚫

[faggotnadyke]

YUO SAW A CHESS!?!?!?

AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

YES ! ! I SAW SAKK (with gerry and twonother friends) AND IT WAS AMAZING!! I HATE THIS VERSION OF FREDDIE AND ANATOLY.. they were like between 50 and 60 lol AND SO ARGHHH /negative.. TGE DANCES WERE CHOREOGRAPHED REALLY WELL BUT A. THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN MALE STRIPPERS TOO DURING ONIB B. TGEY SHOULDN'T'VE HAD THOSE REAALY FUCKING UGLY COSTUMES FOR THE CHESS DANCES AND C. THE TRANSLATION WAS SO FUNKY.. LIKE THEY DID MY BOY WIWTB SO DIRTY IT DESERVED BETTER THAN FOROG A KERÉK OOH ALSO THERE WERE PRECISELY THREE (3) PEOPLE YOU COULD MAYBE FIND HOT (at least as a young person) THOSE WERE THE ARBITER (COOL FACIAL HAIR, GOOD VOICE AND BOY WAS HIS SUIT GOOD) , VIIGAND (LITERALLY 2METERS TALL LIKE HE WAS HALF A HEAD TALLER THAN EVERYONE ELSE . HE COULVE SUNG MORE, BUT HE JUST STOOD THERE RADIATUNG SOCIAL ANXIETY. ALSO HE LOOKED LIKE TOM HIDDLESTON. MY FRIENDS DONT AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT) AND A SHORT WOMAN IN THE BACKING SINGERS(NOT CHORUS) WHO HAD THIS LIKE SJOULDER LENGTH BOB THAT LOOKED LIKE JUST SOME GUY (HOT WOMAN EDITION) OOOH ALSO THERE WAS THIS REALLY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN (ALSO IN THE BACKING SINGERS) WHO HAD LIKE HER TOP HALFWAY UNBUTTONED UNDER HER BLAZER HNGGG (YEAH I KEPT STARING AT THE FEMALE BACKUP SINGERS IM SORRY WHY WOULD THE COSTUMERS PUT WOMEN IN SUITS AND PENCIL SKIRTS IF THEY DIDNT WANT LITTLE BI LESBIANS STARING AT THEM

ANYWAY IT ! WAS ! AMAZING ! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[butchdaydreams]

this isnt an ask its uhhh? something? bid for acceptance? okay so im a lesbian, i dated 1 cis straight boy ever (first relationship i was 13) and everyone else has always been sapphic. but most of my life i ID’d as a bi person (to the 0 community i had IRL) ,, recently i have fully come to terms w the fact i am only attracted to women, femininity, androgyny, butch idc as long as its lady :3 ,, and i call myself a non binary lesbian!

okay so heres the problem, i finally have a very small IRL community and i am currently in a long term relationship w a fairly masc presenting trans women,, uhm i feel like no one sees me as a lesbian or that im in a sapphic relationship? i have had most people in my life still refer to me as bisexual and saying things like “bi girls take up a lot of space in LGBT spaces b/c theres never been oppression for them” (1. wrong ) im not even bi! i havent ever claimed that around these people,, it feels really uhm, outcasting? for both me and my girlfriend like im not valid and neither is she. idk if im too ‘back and forth’ on gender presentation to be seen as a sapphic or feminine all the time, while she isnt usually seen as a girl by anyone (usually gets called a gay man or a cross dresser)

i dont know what the point of this was i think im just venting sorry. i like your blog and i relate to you wanted to be seen as you

I’m sorry you’ve been feeling invalidated. It’s not good of them to be talking about no people that way, and even if you’re not I’m sorry you have to go through it

[x0l0tl99]

byf

read or not, its your life, ill just block you if i feel unsafe

I am a minor!

pedos or pro-contact dni or face my laser death beam

adults can follow just dont be weirdos

if your 18+ and i follow you please message me or just block

i am an "anti" or neutralfic (believing that fiction affects reality a bit, but not fully)

that being said, if you send death threats to either side fuck off bullying aint okay

when i say "anti" i mean romanticizing incest, pedophilia, abuse etc. etc. where as i believe depicting it as a bad thing is okay. thats just part of writing.

i usually block proship accounts tho because I'm just not really into

golly, but what about [politics thing here]?

i believe that everyone should have a right to their homeland and self determination

i feel like people should educate themselves about the history of Palestine, and its history post ottaman empire.

zionism is complicated, i cant say im anti-zionist because zionism isnt one set ideal anymore. some may call me pro-zionism, some might not. I'm a goy who ain't skilled on these matters.

i just want the best for the poor civilians and the Jewish people fearing for their life

i just want people to be safe and happy. everyone deserves human rights. everyone. no matter how bad they are.

of course, im not perfect or whatever. i reblog bad things, and i fall for propaganda. i urge you to point out my failures or else i wont learn.

im an agender menace

terfs will be attacked on sight

neopronoun users are loved and respected.

transmeds will be B I T E N

if your one of those "i hate all men" people just leave now

if you merge non-binary people with women or are not normal about multigender people i dont want to see you ew

im omnisexual, aceflux, panromantic, and desinoromantic

battle axe bis will be attacked

exclusionists aint welcome around these parts

mogai support and love

i dont care if their identity is "contrary" (like he/him lesbians) ALL THE RULES ARE MADE UP!

i support disabled and fat liberation

cripplepunk is for physically disabled people. if you disagree cry me a river

thispo and a4a get therapy and stop using fat people as your vomit porn

pro recovery

i am never up to date on whatever we're canceling or whatever

im not gonna entertain random callouts in my inbox without proof like citing sources is not that hard!!!!

no i can't boycott this or sign a thing. sorry chief

if i for some reason reblog a thing from that one fandom or whatever you hate it is not a personal attack i swear

im am adhd and anixety singlet

people with "scary" disorders welcome. if i every use a word wrong or whatever correct me

pro endo in a sense that people can be plural in many ways, and fake claiming gets nowhere.

PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME

porn

images of nettles or vaccines

images of scorpions (at least without ample warning)

meanies and bigots will be blocked or mocked. if you have a problem with something i did send me an ask or message off anon or i will not take it seriously. Also, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN DNI, IF IM ON YOUR DNI LIST, DONT FOLLOW ME!!!!!

thx for your time! feel free to comment with more about yourself!

[munamania]

16, 23, 25

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc.)

this'll quickly get into petty territory ok let's see. well so i think in general the cookie cutter fandom trope tendencies suck absolute ass and take all the fun out of actually playing with character dynamics and like. analyzing them idk!!! like it's BORING not everyone fits into. golden retriever/black cat dumb/smart fucking. idk you get it. you're taking away what's compelling and unique abt individual people and stories and writing. i think people did that to robin and nancy a bit and it made me want to scream and turned me away from the fandom quicker cause they were the last part of s4 i found myself caring abt. and let me just say this. it's like people are so goddamn annoying in general about gay ships and i wont pretend like ppl are just cool and great about gay male ships but like. at least SO many people get into them that you're bound to get some actually interesting content. it's fucking bleak out here for the lesbians when people just immediately try to slot them into top/bottom etc dynamics. and don't engage with them as separate characters at all. defining women by their relationships except theyre both women(ish) so you're just making them uninteresting overall. sorry ik it's not that serious esp when the majority of the fans of lesbian ships are queer girls. anyway then they dont even engage with het relationships or the people that do are ppl are like. genuinely cishet and i'd not... interact w them on here idk lol. also i ended up getting pissy about bi steve bc ppl were so anti nancy being anything but hyperheterosexual when to ME, formerly dykenance, she had the markings of a lesbian. she had a very clearly sorta close tense jealous etc friendship and she gets NONE of the love. idc actually abt bi steve like it's fine wider fandom just pissed me off. we all know this.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

ummm i dont think i've been super anti anything personally let me think. ummmm. idk why i can only think of st this is absurd i dont even engage with that much anymore. like i guess jonathan and steve i used to not care about but now im like yeah sure kings. why not. oh also faberry lol. cause rachel used to annoy me too much but now im like well in her own committed dream annoying teen girl way she was kinda hilarious... and i think they were in weird lesbian love and that was lost along the way but in my heart they rekindled after high school maybe. at some point. like quinn came to one of her big shows... idc

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

i think b*lers need to just have fun with their ship and not care about canon that much. like yes yeah gay rep etc whatever but u dont even seem like you're having fun u just want to be right. anyway. GENERALLY it's fucking hilarious to me when people bring up idk media literacy and -coding and etc but it's very evident that they have not ever ever taken a film class in their life or. engaged with media analysis outside of fandom contexts. babes dont try to just use words to sound smart. also again generally stop just advertising or criticizing a show based on Gay Representation. also don't complain about female characters not being well written when u dont engage with them regardless over any possible man that you can. sorry just complaining abt the same shit over and over. ME hi im the problem it's me. jk im not wrong

let me be a haterrrr <3

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

I have been not active on Tumblr whatsoever and it's been making me feel super crappy like i am not motivated for anything lately. I mean yea sure I'm still reading but I've been ignoring people tagging me in their fics I've been on my phone yet doing nothing productive at all yet I continue yelling at myself to do something. Like start studying more so you can actually become a surgeon and save people and shit but I have no clue how to do that or anything else. I know that I am attracted to women as well as men but I don't always call myself bi because somedays it just doesn't feel right but then neither does pan or lesbian but then somedays all those terms make sense and im like "yes this is what I am" but then the next day I think "what if I am a horrible straight person with no respect for the lgbtq+ community because I use terms like these carelessly" but then I think "it's not carelessness there are alot of people in the lgbtq+ community who dont know their sexuality" but then I just go back and forth between those two statements and my friends have told me you don't need to be a specific thing "you're just you" and that's really helped but then I think "what does anyone know? We're all young and naive and are probably not even gonna remember these friendships from the 2nd and 6th grade in like 10 years so what's the point?" But then I cant think like that because that is probably not good thinking for my mental state. Anyways I only pay attention to three of the people I'm following and two of them are blogs for S&B and PJO tv series updates, the only other one is you, soooo yea this was a rant so no pressure to respond. Love ya <3

this ask was sent a while ago but i, too, struggle with Responses and Interacting 🥹🖤 lmk if you want me to take it down and i will.

first of all, i'm flattered that my little old dustheap of things i like is one of the few blogs you keep up with :') that's a high honour, so thank you!!

second, i want you to know that all things are temporary. even if those friendships from the 2nd and 6th grade last forever, they will change– in distance, intensity, dynamic. just as you will change because you are a person and people are always changing.

this is not a bad thing. it just means you'll have to get used to the earth shifting under your feet, turning over new soil every once and a while. let the roots of your life breathe. if you try to stay still, the world will continue to move around you, and that's not a particularly nice feeling either.

yes, life is about loss, but it's also about learning from these temporary states of being. i often think about what the things i've lost have taught me, to keep myself afloat. i like making lists. it helps keep important things in the forefront. it's okay if you miss things. you'll get to them when you get to them. and if you don't, that's fine, too.

third, identity labels are for the person using them. they help us define ourselves, figure out what we like and don't like, and help us feel part of a community (if we wish to). identity labels are not for the rest of the world to look at and judge, and they certainly shouldn't be regarded as permanent fixtures of ourselves because, as we've said before, people are always changing, fluid.

but you should also know that it's also okay not to know. it's okay to be like "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ still figuring that bit out". that's what a lot of life is.

it will be different tomorrow.

[ravenousgf]

Hello um I know why ppl don't like terfs I mean duh TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN but what exactly comes under radical feminism that you disagree with... genuinely curious.

hiii omg thanks for the q. hello.

a few reasons:

firstly its just most radfems are terfs. the radfem-to-terf pipeline is very real:/

radical feminism has some valid ideas about dismantling the need for women to be gender conforming + celebrating gnc women, i guess? i'll give you that

but they seem to view any and all performances of femininity as painful and confining, which is just reductive. this post is a good example of what im talking about. it has a bunch of radfems+terfs agreeing with op (easy blocklist right there) and it makes me want to throw up

radical feminism sees men as the enemy, sees feminism as men vs women when really its people vs sexism/misogyny. we all have to unlearn harmful shit the patriarchy has made us believe--women are not exempt from views like those

it leads to a lot of egregious biphobia toward bi women specifically, especially if they date a guy. self-explanatory. gotta say as a bi girl it hurts to see lesbians hate on us like!! wheres your allyship now ffs!!! bi women are not any less queer than lesbians oh my god

several radfem posts that i had the misfortune to come across see women as the "good gender" and men as the "bad gender" -- and its ridiculous because

a) theres more than two genders

b) it pushes any accountability off these women by framing them as mostly powerless victims, and

c) men are not inherently evil!!! saying that just sets low standards for men, tells women they shouldnt expect anything better. its the "woke" way of saying boys will be boys, i guess.

and i think any feminist woman that has to hear boys will be boys one more time deserves to deck anyone thats stupid enough to say that

remember when i mentioned the radfem-to-terf pipeline? yeah this leads straight to that. seeing men as evil means radfems' view of trans ppl is inherently warped. theres actually people talking about how "trans men betrayed their gender" like. fucks sake. not everything is political lol some people are just men

also since they hate men for being men they use it as an excuse to exclude trans women from their feminism/wlw positivity just bc trans women have/had penises. i dont have to talk abt why that way of seeing it is a lava lake of burned fish. we are sooo past a kettle of fish.

and isnt it funny. classing one's own gender as good, pious, empathetic, emotionally sensitive and another gender as innately bad. isnt it funny how that gives radfems a free pass to be absolutely awful people, and not allow for any self-reflection about their own choices

more often than not they either completely ignore non-binary ppl or see them as woman-lite. genderfluid, bigender ppl etc are also never really respected?? when someone thinks everyone but women is inherently awful im not sure how they'd feel about/treat anyone who isnt cis/doesnt fit into the gender binary

to summarize most of it is inherently gender essentialist bullshit

[lesbinewren]

hey friend, i've been following your blog for a while now and i absolutely think you should go on a rant about modern sw canon being homophobic! i agree with you and i'd love to hear your points (especially re: anything having to do with tarkin, as im not as familiar with that) (:

ill try to not turn this into like a full six page essay lmao

so basically there are at this point a fair amount of gay/bi characters in sw canon atm... just none appearing on-screen (or at least not being explicitly gay on-screen) except for those two women that kissed for like half a second in tros. so thats point one i guess- all but completely restricting even acknowledgements of gayness to books/comics that dont get nearly as much recognition as the screen media does. 

point two is that theres a pattern of the main characters they choose to make explicitly gay as being... considerably less moral than others sometimes. and im not saying that every single gay character needs to be completely flawless with the sun shining out of their ass at all times, but why cant we get more lead, unquestionably heroic characters to be confirmed gay or bi? we have gay villains (tarkin being sorta confirmed gay in facpov, moff mors who deserves an entire post of her own), and then characters that are more like anti-heroes, or at least heros with darker pasts/tendencies (aphra, sinjir, arguably characters like sana, chass and yrica but those three to a much lesser degree). 

and i dont... dislike those characters. i actually LOVE aphra, shes probably one of my faves, and i loved sinjir and conder in aftermath. i dont really have any problems with their stories at all, it’s just that they’re part of a pattern of characters with sometimes questionable morality (aphra working with vader and happily siccing her droids to torture and murder people etc & sinjir being a torturer for the empire who then joins the rebellion and tortures sometimes for that cause too). like again, my problem isnt that gay characters arent paragons of virtue, its that most characters they happen to make gay also happen to be the morally gray ones. im not really asking for less dubiously good cay characters, just also more solidly heroic gay characters to balance it a bit. 

and they are getting better, there are more solidly heroic main gay characters... its just for every wyl lark or kaedan larte you have a gay imperial officer and an offhandedly mentioned dead pair of husbands. and i also dont think id mind as much if there wasnt a history in film especially where even implying gayness was prohibited unless it was condemned or shown to be immoral. i dont think its intentional, but its hard not to get that vibe when they make their biggest canon lesbian character blow up cute tooka cats for fun lmao (as much as i adore aphra)

and my third and probably final point for now is the deliberate vagueness of things, and the way that they sometimes confirm characters. i think they’re especially egregious about this with bi/pan characters. i dont have the direct quote, but when confirming lando to be lgbt during solo promotion, they essentially said he’s pan because he... has sex with droids and aliens? no mention of you know... being a man attracted to other men, that might be too controversial ig. also i think it was donald glover who specifically said something like “how couldn’t you be pansexual in space, there’s so many things to have sex with” as if thats what being bi/pan is which just... yeah.

and then also in the leia book (a book i really like), the “confirmation” of holdo being bi is when leia says something about sticking to “humanoid males” and holdo tells her “thats limiting” or whatever which a) its a personal pet peeve of mine as a lesbian when people say things like that, even tho its said to a straight person, its just insulting and acts like sexuality is a choice and bi/pan people are more enlightened by choosing not to “limit themselves” and b) in context they’re talking about a like... bug alien or something like that, its been a minute since i read the book but it wasnt just like a humanoid alien woman or anything. so again... being just vague enough to get woke points for your character being lgbt without actually having them express same gender attraction AND equating being bi to just being willing to screw whatever i guess.

and for the record i dont think that this all means star wars is being unforgivably homophobic. i DO think characters like aphra, sinjir and others are good representation, i just dont want characters like that to be our only representation, because thats when things start to get more questionable for me. but like, i think its AWESOME that aphra has her own comic line and audiobook where she’s very explicitly gay, and the fact that she’s probably the most popular modern star wars comic-originated character while being a lesbian seriously makes me happier than i know how to express. i think the fact that the alphabet squadron trilogy made two of its female leads explicitly bi and one of their male leads end up in a relationship with another man is amazing. i love sinjir and conder’s romance being a primary feature of the aftermath trilogy. i think its incredible cool of them to have the bravery to make an iconic character from the original trilogy pan, even if im not a huge fan of the phrasing they used (and would like them to be more explicit about it in future content). like, i dont want to be all negative because i think there is a lot of good rep there. i just know it can be better, and being allowed to criticize it makes me feel better about it, and hopefully will start more conversations that lead to them being more mindful in the future. 

[armillary-spheres-lover]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.