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killianmesmalls · 3 years

Note

On your comments about Jack: ye-es, in the sense that Jack is a character who definitely deserved better than he was treated by the characters. The way Dean especially treats him reflects very badly on Dean, no question. But, speaking as a viewer, I think the perspective needs to shift a little bit.

To me, Jack is Dawn from Buffy, or Scrappy Doo. He’s an (in my opinion) irritating kid who is introduced out of nowhere to be both super vulnerable and super OP, and the jeopardy is centered around him in a way that has nothing to do with his actual character or relationships. He’s mostly around to be cute and to solve or create problems — he never has any firm character arcs or goals of his own, nor any deeper purpose in the meta narrative. In this way, he’s a miss for SPN, which focuses heavily on conflicts as metaphors for real life.

Mary fits so much better in that framework, and introducing her as a developed, flawed person works really well with the narrative. It is easy for us to care about Mary, both as the dead perfect mother on the pedestal and as the flawed, human woman who could not live up to her sons’ expectations. That connection is built into the core of SPN, and was developed over years, even before she was a character. When she was added, she was given depth and nuance organically, and treated as a flawed, complex character rather than as a plot device or a contrivance. She was given a voice and independence, and became a powerful metaphor for developing new understandings of our parents in adulthood, as well as an interesting and well-rounded character. You care that she’s dead, not just because Sam and Dean are sad, but for the loss of her development and the potential she offered. So, in that sense, I think a lot of people were frustrated that she died essentially fridged for a second time, and especially in service of the arc of a weaker character.

And like, you’re right, no one can figure out if Jack is a toddler or a teenager. He’s both and he’s neither, because he’s never anything consistently and his character arc is always “whatever the plot needs it to be.” Every episode is different. Is he Dean’s sunny opportunity to be a parent and make up for his dad’s shitty parenting? Yes! Is he also Dean’s worst failure and a reminder that he has done many horrible things, including to “innocent” children? Yes! Is he Cas’s child? Yes! Is he Dean’s child? Yes! But also, no! Is he Sam’s child? Yes! Is he a lonely teenager who does terrible things? Yes! Is he a totally innocent little lamb who doesn’t get why what he is doing is wrong? Yes! Is he the most powerful being in the universe? Yes! Does he need everyone to take care of him? Yes! Is he just along for the ride? Yes! Is he responsible for his actions? Kinda??? Sometimes??? What is he???

Mary as a character is narratively cohesive and fleshed-out. Jack is a mishmash of confusing whatever’s that all add up to a frustrating plot device with no consistent traits to latch on to. Everything that fans like about him (cute outfits, gender play, well-developed parental bonds with the characters) is fanon. So, yes, the narrative prioritizes Mary. Many fans prioritize Mary, at least enough that Dean’s most heinous acts barely register. To the narrative (not to Cas, which is a totally different situation), Jack is only barely more of a character than Emma Winchester, who Sam killed without uproar seasons earlier. He’s been around longer, but he’s equally not really real.

I debated on responding to this because, to tell the truth, I think we fundamentally disagree on a number of subjects and, as they say, true insanity is arguing with anyone on the internet. However, you spent a lot of time on the above and I feel it's only fair to say my thoughts, even if I don't believe it will sway you any more than what you said changed my opinions.

I'm assuming this was in response to this post regarding how Jack's accidental killing of Mary was treated so severely by the brothers, particularly Dean, because it was Mary and, had it been a random character like the security guard in 13x06, it would have been treated far differently. However, then the argument becomes less about the reaction of the Winchester brothers to this incident and more the value of Jack or Mary to the audience.

I believe we need to first admit that both characters are inherently archetypes—Mary as the Madonna character initially then, later, as a metaphor for how imperfect and truly human our parents are compared to the idol we have as children, and Jack as the overpowered child who is a Jesus allegory by the end. Both have a function within the story to serve the Winchester brothers, through whose lens and with whose biases we are meant to view the show's events. We also need to admit that the writers didn't think more than a season ahead for either character, especially since it wasn't initially supposed to be Mary that came back at the end of season 11 but John, and they only wrote enough for Jack in season 13 to gauge whether or not the audience would want him to continue on or if he needed to be killed off by the end of the season. Now, I know we curate our own experiences online which leads to us being in our own fandom echo chambers, however it is important to note that the character was immediately successful enough with the general audience that, after his first episode or two, he was basically guaranteed a longer future on the show.

I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure why the perspective of how his character is processed by some audience members versus others has any bearing on the argument that he deserved to be treated better overall by the other characters especially when taking their own previous actions in mind. I’m not going to tell you that your opinion is wrong regarding your feelings for Jack. It’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it, it harms no one to have it and express it. My feelings on Jack are clearly very different from your own, but this is really just two different people who processed a fictional person in different ways. I personally believe he has a purpose in the Winchesters’ story, including Castiel’s, as he reflects certain aspects of all of them, gives them a way to explore their own histories through a different perspective, and changes the overall dynamic of Team Free Will from “soldiers in arms” to a family (Misha’s words). In the beginning he allows Sam to work through his past as the “freak” and powerful, dangerous boy wonder destined to bring hell on earth. With Dean, his presence lets Dean work through his issues with John and asks whether he will let history repeat itself or if he’ll work to break the cycle. Regarding Cas, in my opinion he helps the angel reach his “final form” of a father, member of a family, lover and protector of humanity, rebellious son, and the true show of free will.

From strictly the story, he has several arcs that work within themes explored in Supernatural, such as the argument of nature versus nurture, the question of what we’re willing to give up in order to protect something or someone else and how ends justify the means, and the struggle between feeling helpless and powerless versus the corruptive nature of having too much power and the dangerous lack of a moral compass. His goals are mentioned and on display throughout his stint on the show, ones that are truly relatable to some viewers: the strong desire to belong—the need for family and what you’ll do to find and keep it.

With Mary, we first need to establish whether the two versions of her were a writing flaw due to the constant change in who was dictating her story and her relationship to the boys, which goes against the idea that her characterization was cohesive and fleshed-out but, rather, put together when needed for convenience, or if they both exist because, as stated above, we are seeing the show primarily through the biased lens of the Winchester brothers and come to face facts about the true Mary as they do. Like I said in my previous post, I don’t dislike Mary and I don’t blame her for her death (either one). However, I do have a hard time seeing her as a more nuanced, fleshed-out character than Jack. True, a lot of her problems are more adult in nature considering she has to struggle with losing her sons’ formative years and meeting them as whole adults she knows almost nothing about, all because of a choice she made before they were born.

However, her personal struggles being more “mature” in nature (as they center primarily on parental battles) doesn’t necessarily mean her story has layers and Jack’s does not. They are entirely different but sometimes interconnected in a way that adds to both of their arcs, like Mary taking Jack on as an adoptive son which gives her the moments of parenting she lost with Sam and Dean, and Jack having Mary as a parental figure who understands and supports him gives him that sense of belonging he had just been struggling with to the point of running away while he is also given the chance to show “even monsters can do good”.

I’d also argue that Jack being many ages at once isn’t poor writing so much as a metaphor for how, even if you’re forced to grow up fast, that doesn’t mean you’re a fully equipped adult. I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I believe Jack simultaneously taking a lot of responsibility and constantly trying to prove to others he’s useful while having childish moments is relatable to some who were forced to play an adult role at a young age. He proves a number of times that he doesn’t need everyone to take care of him, but he also has limited life experience and, as such, will make some mistakes while he’s also being a valuable member of the group. Jack constantly exists on a fine line in multiple respects. Some may see that as a writing flaw but it is who the character was conceived to be: the balance between nature or nurture, between good and evil, between savior and devil.

Now, I was also frustrated Mary was “fridged” for a second time. It really provided no other purpose than to give the brothers more man pain to further the plot along. However, this can exist while also acknowledging that the way it happened and the subsequent fallout for Jack was also unnecessary and a sign of blatant hypocrisy from Dean, primarily, and Sam.

And, yes, Jack can be different things at once because, I mean, can’t we all? If Mary can be both the perfect mother and the flawed, independent, distant parent, can’t Jack be the sweet kid who helps his father-figures process their own feelings on fatherhood while also being a lost young-adult forcing them to face their failures? Both characters contain multitudes because, I mean, we all do.

I can provide articles or posts on Jack’s characterization and popularity along with Mary’s if needed, but for now I think this is a long enough ramble on my thoughts and feelings. I’m happy to discuss more, my messenger is always open for (polite) discussion. Until then, I’m going to leave it at we maybe agree to disagree.

#long post #long ask #so long answer #guys it's 1 am #i hope this made sense #watch me read this after sleep and register things i wish i said #oh well #jack kline #mary winchester #spn #supernatural #spn critical #supernatural critical #kinda?#eh just in case #spn meta #supernatural meta #jack meta

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lasting-inkpressions · 3 years

Text

Burning Up [1/4]

Summary: When she applied to be the secretary for managing partner Rosé McCorkell, Denali hadn't expected to end up working for the biggest pain in her ass, nor did she expect anything beyond a professional relationship.

Word Count: 4,365

Note: Originally titled "Work Wives".

Prefer reading it on AO3?

Denali stood in front of the familiar panelled wooden door, a brown leather folio clutched to her chest and a fresh cup of coffee in her right hand. She was dressed in a cream sleeveless blouse and a black pencil skirt finished off with nude heels. She stared hard at the frosted glass with a name embossed in gold lettering across it.

Rosé McCorkell, one of the three managing partners in S. Child, a top law firm in New York City. She was also a major pain in Denali’s ass for all of the six months that she had been here as her secretary.

Steeling herself for her usual morning meeting with her, Denali took a deep breath, knocked on the door and waited. Seconds later, she heard the usual clicking of stiletto heels on hardwood floor before the door opened to reveal the woman that was her boss.

As much as she was a pain in the ass, Rosé McCorkell was undoubtedly a stunning woman. Standing tall in her black heels, she wore her auburn hair in perfect curls, dressed in a form fitting navy power suit with the blouse unbuttoned just low enough that Denali could see the deep curve of her cleavage. Catching herself before she stared for too long, she snapped her gaze back up to Rosé’s face and plastered on a smile, hoping that the other woman hadn’t noticed her staring.

“Good morning, Miss McCorkell, I’m here to go over your schedule for the day.”

Rosé stared back at Denali for a moment, causing the younger woman to squirm a little under her gaze, before deep red lips stretched into her trademark smirk.

The same smirk that drove Denali absolutely crazy for reasons she didn’t want to think too deeply into.

“Of course you are, come in.”

———

7 months ago.

Denali sat outside the interview room, waiting for her turn to go in. She was surrounded by other young candidates, each of them looking well groomed, neat and manicured. Most of them were in blazers, suits, the whole shebang and here Denali was dressed in a simple white blouse and black dress pants, her blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail with black pumps on her feet.

She hadn’t really thought too much about it when she had come across the ad and applied for the position. She just needed a job after graduating from college, but now she wasn’t too sure on whether she had made a mistake applying to be the secretary of a managing partner at S. Child. Denali had thought it would be an easy job. After all, a secretary just needed to be organised and have a good head on their shoulders, right? She hadn’t thought it would be a challenge, but looking around her now, with so many tense faces and how the place screamed money, she felt like she was out of her depth.

Maybe it wasn’t too late to duck out…

“Miss Denali Foxx.”

Denali cursed under her breath for not noticing that the previous interviewee had already left the room. She stood and walked to the door, feeling the eyes of the other candidates eyeing her outfit in disdain. Bracing herself, she knocked on the door and waited for a second before entering, coming face to face with three women seated behind a lacquered wooden conference table. Denali took note of each one as she sat in the lone chair before them.

From the website she had briefly scrolled through, she could recognise the three managing partners - Jan Sport was on the left, followed by Lagoona Bloo in the middle and Rosé McCorkell, the managing partner that she was applying to be the secretary of, on the right. From what she had gathered, all three of them were charismatic, intelligent and ruthless in their own rights when in the courtroom.

Lagoona opened a manila folder, cleared her throat and smiled warmly at the blonde in front of her. “Good afternoon Miss Foxx, thank you for taking the time to come down for this interview.” Denali smiled back at her, feeling a little more at ease at how friendly Lagoona seemed.

“Good afternoon, and thank you for having me.”

Lagoona nodded and introduced the three of them, then began the interview by asking her questions, with Jan interjecting a few herself. Denali had managed to answer most of them confidently, only ever stumbling once. All the while Rosé, the one who would decide whether she would be hired or not, had remained silent, simply choosing to flip through the thin file that held Denali’s details, barely even sparing her a glance.

After about ten minutes of back and forth, Lagoona asked her final question, then turned to look at Rosé.

“I think that’s about it from us. Do you have any questions for her, Rosé?”

Denali gulped, trying not to let her nerves get the best of her as the other woman finally looked up at her, folding her hands and resting her chin on them. After a few excruciating seconds, Rosé leaned back in her seat, eyes still trained on the blonde woman before finally speaking.

“Yes, why should I hire you out of everyone out there? From what I’ve read in your file, you seem to be the most inexperienced out of all the candidates. Were you hoping to somehow find a sugar daddy here? I mean you clearly have the looks for it.”

There was pin drop silence at her question. Lagoona had her face buried in her hands and Jan was struggling between wanting to laugh and wanting to strangle Rosé. Denali however sat stone still as Rosé stared down at her, her expression bored as she waited for the blonde to reply.

Denali’s mind was blank for a second before rage filled her veins.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Resisting the urge to slap the woman in front of her, Denali reigned it in and instead plastered on the sweetest smile she could muster.

“Well as inexperienced as I am, I can guarantee that if you hire me, you wouldn’t be hiring a cookie cutter suck up that wouldn’t be able to look past designer labels or waste their time trying to be someone they’re not. I can also guarantee that you wouldn’t be hiring a pushover who would go crying to their mother when the job gets tough, and knows that their worth is much more than just a few flimsy pieces of paper that won’t tell you the things that really matter.”

Denali stood, smoothing the wrinkles in her skirt before looking Rosé in the eye.

“And the statement about me wanting a sugar daddy? I’d rather a sugar mommy than a sugar daddy, though from what I see, there aren’t any worth my time here anyways.”

Figuring that the interview was a lost cause, Denali nodded her thanks to a stunned Lagoona and laughing Jan, completely ignoring Rosé, and turned on her heel to leave when she was stopped by two words.

“You’re hired.”

———

Present day.

Grinding her teeth as she glared at the desk in front of her, Denali had to tell herself to calm down as the source of her irritation smirked in her direction. If there was one thing that Denali could not stand, it was Rosé’s way of constantly pushing her buttons. Oh, there was no denying that the woman was good at her job, but the way she seemed to ooze confidence and acted as if she owned the damn place? God, that just made Denali’s blood boil.

“Is something the matter, Nali?”

Denali clenched her fist at the sound of Rosé's nick name for her. It was as if the older woman knew that it riled her up whenever she called her that. Looking up at Rosé, Denali bit back an insult and instead forced herself to smile at her. “No, Miss McCorkell, nothing’s the matter at all. Everything is perfectly fine.”

Staring down at the defiant younger woman for a moment from across her desk, Rosé winked at her. “If you say so, baby.”

Denali gripped the pen in her hand tightly. She breathed through her nose, mentally counting down the seconds till their meeting was over and done with as she wrote down every point that Rosé had said. Quickly going over her notes one last time, she looked back up at Rosé. “Is there anything else, Miss McCorkell?”

“Rosé.”

Denali blinked.

“What?”

“My name. I’ve told you to call me that from the beginning.” Denali rolled her eyes internally as she shuffled the loose sheets of paper into a neater pile. “And as I’ve said before, I’m much more comfortable calling you Miss McCorkell.” She heard Rosé’s low chuckle and the sound of fabric shifting. Denali looked up and immediately dropped her pen.

Rosé was suddenly much closer to her than before, leaning against the solid oak desk between them, an almost predatory look in her eye as she watched the younger girl seated in front of her.

“I wonder why.”

———

“So have you and Miss McCorkell fucked yet?”

Denali glared at Kandy as she walked back to her desk. She threw her pen at the girl and missed as it clattered to the floor, leaving the other girl cackling. “No bitch, and that’s never going to happen. What the fuck even makes you think that?” Kandy sat on the edge of Denali’s desk, a shit eating grin on her face. “Besides the fact that every time you leave her office, your face is always so flustered-“

“Because she always pisses me off-“

“-it’s also the way she stares at your ass, like she can’t wait to get her hands on it.” Denali rolled her eyes and retrieved her pen from the floor. “No, she doesn’t. I’ve never seen her look at my ass before.” And Denali was pretty sure that she would have noticed that, seeing as she’d been Rosé’s secretary for a while now. Plopping herself in her office chair, she opened her folio and started to go through her notes, pulling out a stack of colourful post-it’s from her drawer to help with her organisation. Not to be ignored, Kandy carried on as if the other girl wasn’t trying to ignore her.

“Girl, you don’t exactly have eyes on the back of your head, do you? Trust me, she wants to tap that.”

Denali resisted the urge to strangle the Latina sitting on her desk. Sure, there was always some tension in the room when they were together, but that was more from the fact that Rosé loved riling her up. It had been that way since day one, and sometimes Denali questioned her decision to have accepted the job offer, but the money and benefits were too good to pass up for a fresh grad. She shook her head as she replied dismissively.

“Even if she does, I’m not interested.”

Kandy looked at her in disbelief, one brow cocked. “Are you sure? She’s got a great pair of tits.” Well, she couldn’t argue with that. Denali had noticed Rosé’s ample breasts seeing as the managing partner loved to wear outfits that featured them in a daring, yet tasteful, fashion. If she had met Rosé in a bar, she would definitely have approached her.

Of course, she wasn’t going to tell Kandy that.

“Look, no matter how great her tits are, it’ll never make up for the mouth that she has on her.”

Kandy tutted, picking at her nails. “I’m pretty sure her mouth would be preoccupied when the two of you-“

“KANDY!”

“I’m just saying.”

Denali sighed, rubbing her forehead. God, this conversation was giving her a headache and digging at thoughts she had been trying to avoid herself.

“Listen Kandy, if there is one thing that I would never ever do, it is to sleep with my boss-“

“Denali-“

“I don’t care if she’s staring at my ass, I don’t care what she thinks of it-“

“Girl-“

“Me fucking Rosé McCorkell is never going to happen.”

“Well, as enlightening as this conversation is, it might be a little inappropriate to discuss my preferences in the office, don’t you think?”

She froze at the familiar voice behind her as Kandy quietly excused herself.

Shit.

“Cat got your tongue, Miss Foxx?”

Fucking shit.

Denali slowly stood and turned to look at her boss, who had an amused expression on her face and a file in hand.

“I believe that you left this document behind in my office.”

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Denali moved to retrieve the file from Rosé, trying her best to regain her composure.

“Right, yes- Let me photocopy this for you right away, Miss McCorkell.”

Rosé smirked and leaned in, her lips almost brushing against Denali’s ear.

“Strictly off the record, I do think you have a very nice ass.”

Face flushing a bright red and rendered speechless for a moment as Rosé pulled away, Denali stammered out an excuse before speeding off to the copy room, leaving behind a chuckling Rosé in her wake.

———

Denali was waiting alone for the lift at the end of the day, tapping her foot on the floor as she watched the numbers on the screen climb higher and higher.

It had been a long day, and she was still trying to recover from the embarrassing situation that had happened in the morning. She had spent the whole day actively avoiding her boss, something that wasn’t too difficult to do since she had a long list of tasks from her. Every time she had to drop something off at the older woman’s office, she made it a point to do so when she knew she was out for a meeting or when she was engaged in a call so that Rosé wouldn’t be able to say a word to her.

If she had the opportunity, Denali knew that the managing partner would say something to further humiliate or incite her.

Also, the statement that Rosé had made about her ass was still fresh and in the forefront of her mind, and something Denali had completely not expected. She knew that the two of them butted heads all the time, and that Rosé loved to challenge her secretary and pass along little comments and nicknames just to get a rise out of her. She had suspected that was the main reason that Rosé had hired her, because she was someone who fought back, but that comment about her ass? That had blindsided her.

She didn’t want to admit it, but everything Rosé did and said had an effect on her, and had been for some time now, but that was something that was entirely inappropriate.

Denali shifted her weight, watching the numbers get closer to the floor she was on when she heard the faint clicking of stilettos behind her and shut her eyes, praying to whoever was listening that the person approaching wasn’t who she thought it was, or that the elevator would arrive just before she did. Thankfully, the latter happened as the lift doors opened and Denali quickly stepped into the empty cab, immediately pressing the close button while pointedly making sure not to look up. She let out the breath that she had been unknowingly holding in as the doors slid closed, but her relief was short lived when the doors slid opened again, revealing the very same woman that she had been hoping not to see.

Fuck.

Nodding in greeting, she stepped to the side to give Rosé space, and also to put as much space as possible between the two of them. Rosé nodded back, and stood next to Denali, facing the doors as they closed and the lift slowly descended.

“So where has my little secretary been hiding the whole day?”

Denali’s hand twitched at her side. “I’ve been at my desk the entire day, Miss McCorkell, completing the tasks that you assigned me to do.”

“Is that so? So the little mouse that was scurrying in and out of my office wasn’t you?”

Swallowing a retort, Denali replied with as steady a voice as she could. “I don’t know what you mean, Miss McCorkell.”

Rosé turned her head, an eyebrow raised as she looked down at the squirming girl. Before she could say anything, the lift dinged and a group of people entered, forcing the two of them to take a step back. Denali breathed through her nose, then noticed how close Rosé was to her now in the confined space, so close she could smell the expensive Chanel No. 5 perfume that she loved to wear. Her heart was racing, and she wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was the fact that Rosé was now standing close to her, or the fact that her words were replaying over and over in her mind.

Denali stilled when she felt a finger touching the back of hand. She looked down to see a perfectly manicured finger lazily tracing her knuckles before looking up at the owner of the hand, and felt all the air in her lungs escape.

Rosé was staring down at her, eyes a molten hazel and lips curved into that same infuriating smirk that drove Denali insane. She felt the other woman’s fingers slowly slip to the palm of her hand, the light touch causing heat to pool in Denali’s middle and her breath to shorten, and all the while Rosé never took her eyes off her. The younger girl swallowed and bit her lip, noting how the older woman’s heated gaze fell to her throat and then her lips, her palm tingling as Rosé continued to trace patterns on the sensitive skin of her palm.

Seconds later, their little bubble was broken when the lift dinged and people started to shuffle out. Rosé withdrew her hand, and made to leave too, but not before whispering in Denali’s ear.

“Never say never.”

Winking at the frozen girl, Rosé exited the lift, her hips swaying with each step as she left the building.

Denali was fucked.

———

The dynamics of their relationship had changed since that day. Rosé didn’t try as hard as before to get a rise out of Denali anymore. Before it seemed like she was aiming to piss her secretary off, but now it was the opposite. It was as if she was repeatedly trying to fluster her, dropping little teasing comments, purposely brushing their fingers together when passing Denali things, constantly staring intently at her with a knowing smirk on her face. It was slowly driving Denali insane.

She could handle it when Rosé was trying to piss her off, but this? This was completely different and she didn’t know how to handle this kind of attention from her. Denali always found herself blushing to her roots and stammering in response to these new interactions, which seemed to further amuse and encourage the redhead. With each interaction, Denali also found herself questioning everything.

Why was Rosé acting the way that she did?

Was she bored and simply wanted to find something to entertain her?

Was she just toying around with Denali and her emotions?

Sighing as she filled the cup of tea for Rosé’s potential new client, she shook the thoughts out of her head and walked back to the meeting room where he was waiting. Pasting on a polite smile, she pushed the glass door open and set the cup of tea on the table before a greasy looking man that looked as if he was in his late forties.

“Here’s your tea, Mister Tate.” The man smiled back at Denali, taking the cup of tea and sipping from it, all the while giving Denali a once over, much to her discomfort. Putting the cup down, he made a face. “Oh dear, there’s no sugar in this at all, is there?”

Denali blinked. He hadn’t mentioned any sugar earlier, and she had assumed that he wouldn’t need any. “My apologies, Mister Tate, let me get a fresh cup for you.” Reaching over to take back the cup, she was stopped when he grabbed onto her wrist, a sly smile on his face. “There’s no need to bother, it’s fine. After all, I have a sweet, pretty girl like you to entertain me while we wait for Miss McCorkell to arrive.”

Not another one of these men again. Forcing herself not to drop her smile, Denali replied in a tight voice. “Thank you for the compliment, Mr Tate.” She tried to politely tug her hand back to disengage his grip on her wrist, but before she knew it, he was on his feet, an arm slung over her shoulders.

“Mister Tate? No need for formalities, just call me Jim. After all, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around more often now.” Her stomach rolled at the pointed look he had in his eye, the widening smile on his face making him look even greasier. She knew his type and the implications behind his words, and had to force herself to hold in her disgust. As much as she wanted to knee him in the balls, she couldn’t do that here in the office, especially since he was a potential client of Rosé’s.

Swallowing the bile that was rising in her throat, Denali struggled to maintain being civil as she attempted to step out of his grip.

“Mister Tate, if you would kindly please let go of me, I-”

“Come now, Miss Foxx was it? Where’s your sense of hospitality? You forgot the sugar for my tea, but you look like you’ll make up for it-“

“What is going on here?”

The blonde felt a sheer sense of relief flood her when she saw the managing partner standing in the doorway of the meeting room, though the furious look in her eye was something unexpected.

Denali had never seen her this angry before.

The man however seemed completely oblivious to the rising anger of the other woman, and instead smiled at her. “Miss McCorkell! I was just getting acquainted with your lovely secretary here.”

Rosé glared at the man. “Mister Tate, I believe that my secretary doesn’t like your arm around her, and unless you’d like to lose that arm, I suggest that you take it off her.” Looking surprised, the man listened and took his arm off Denali, and she moved away, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. Her eyes darted between the two as he stammered. “Miss McCorkell, we’re all adults here. I’m just having a bit of fun. Isn’t that why you keep her around? She sure is a stunner-”

Big mistake.

Rosé took a threatening step towards him, fists clenched and eyes glinting with unbridled rage at what he was implying.

“Get out.”

He gaped. “I- I beg your pardon?”

Rosé sneered, looking down at the now pale and shaking man.

“You heard me, you daft man, get out! I don’t need scum like you in my office, and I certainly don’t need your money. Now get out before I call security!”

Gaping like a fish out of water and scrambling to leave, the greasy man grabbed his bag and hurriedly left the office without looking back as Rosé kept her eyes pinned on his retreating back before turning back to face to her secretary. Denali gulped, and instinctively made to apologise, but was stopped when the older woman moved towards her and gently took her by the shoulders, examining her. “Denali, are you alright?” She asked, sliding her hands down and stopping to hold her wrists, rubbing soothing circles into her skin.

Denali hadn’t noticed, but she was shaking, and Rosé’s motions were slowly calming her down. Taking a shaky breath, Denali smiled weakly at her. “I’m fine, Miss McCorkell. Thank you for stepping in when you did.”

Rosé nodded. “Of course, how could I not? But are you sure you’re alright? Do you want to take the rest of the afternoon off?” Denali laughed drily, waving off the offer. “It’s alright, I’m fine now. It’s nothing that I’m not used to.” Rosé’s thumbs stopped moving and she frowned at Denali.

“What do you mean?” Denali blinked. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that.

“I mean I’ve had my fair share of creeps before-“ She explained with a fake laugh, trying to lighten the mood when she saw Rosé’s face darkening.

That wasn’t good.

“You mean here? In my office?”

“Well, er-“ Rosé stepped closer into Denali’s space, raising a hand to cup her face as she stared into the younger’s eyes, voice low as she demanded. “The truth please.” Denali swallowed, feeling the slightly murderous intent that the other woman was exuding, which contradicted the gentle hold that she had on Denali. Hesitantly, Denali nodded.

“..yes.”

Rosé clenched her jaw, taking a second to process what Denali had confirmed, before stepping back and letting go of her secretary. Denali could see that her hands were clenched into fists that Rosé quickly stuffed into the pockets of her suit when she noticed Denali looking at them, as if wanting to hide how she was trying to not lose her temper.

“I want their names.”

Denali frowned, confused. “Wha- Why?”

“So I can tear up their contracts. Anyone who touches you is not worth my time.” Denali’s eyes widened. This sounded like a rash decision, and she didn’t want to cost Rosé or the company money. Breaking contracts meant loss of income, which wasn’t worth it. Not when it was just a simple matter of harassment that she should be able to handle herself. “But Miss McCorkell, it’s not worth it, I can-“

Rosé shot Denali a sharp look at that, cutting her off. “No buts. I want their names on my desk by the end of the day.” Denali swallowed and nodded stiffly as Rosé held her gaze, eyes hardened before softening as she sighed. The managing partner turned to leave, but stopped at the doorway to give her one last meaningful look.

“Denali, don’t ever think that you’re not worth it.”

And she left, leaving behind a wide eyed and blushing Denali staring after her.

———

I have been hung up on the idea of writing a fic with a flirty boss Rosé and feisty secretary Denali. The sexual tension just writes itself.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. (:

xoxo Vera

#rosenali #rosénali #rosnali #rpdr fic #burning up fic #work wives verse #inkpression writes

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subtlereferencetomyinterests · 4 years

Text

Complexities Unknowable- Chapter Six

Ao3, 1 2 3 4 5 7, MasterPost

Relationships: Deintruality, background Analogince

This is crazy long. But I like this one. Also, second to last chapter! Also also, i mention spinny hugs three whole times because I miss Hugs. I miss them.

Warnings: Cursing, food mention, brief angst/arguing, someone digs their nails into their skin but like unintentionally, crying, Remus-typical jokes and comments (he has some pretty violent thoughts directed towards roman), very very brief alcohol mention (wine, cuz Jan’s Like That), uhhh lots and lots of hugging and fluff. And Janus is still called Deceit, for continuity reasons. lmk if I missed something.

Word Count: 3,657

Patton did end up visiting them- albeit several hours later. Deceit wasn’t quite sure how he felt as he watched Morality make himself at home in The Subconscious living room, but he was leaning towards happy.

Though ‘make himself at home’, was a tad of a stretch, given all his uncomfortable fidgeting. Deceit could taste that there was something he wasn’t saying, but he didn’t have to wait long to see what it was.

“I- um- I brought you guys something-”

Of course he had.

“-as an apology.”

Wait, what?

Remus’ head shot up from where he was sifting through dvds, flashing Deceit a smug grin. Patton didn’t seem to notice as he elaborated.

“You guys have been so nice to me lately, even after I, uh, didn't exactly respect you as much as I should have. I didn’t give you enough credit for what you two contribute, and that was my bad, so here!” He waved his hand and an enormous, neatly folded quilt dropped into his lap. He stood from the couch, struggling to unfurl it.

Deceit’s eyes were saucers. The blanket was a spiral of triangles of lime green, pale yellow, and baby blue fabric. At its edges were small patches of violet, indigo, and red, along with a gray border and a large black circle in the middle of the spiral. Within that circle was the word ‘Family’, embroidered in vibrant rainbow colors.

“It’s okay if you can’t forgive me right away, but I just wanted you to know that you guys are part of my family now, as far as I’m concerned, and I-”

Remus threw himself at Patton with full-force, picking up the much taller side and twirling him around in what looked to be a crushing hug. Deceit remained silent and caught the quilt as it was flung from the two-side tornado. It was soft, smooth, warm.

“When did you… how did you have the time to make this?”

Morality’s face was flushed and he laughed, bright and airy, as Remus finally let him down.

“That’s what took me so long to get here! You guys invited me over, and I didn’t want to show up empty-handed. I know I’m not the most artistic, but I think I’m pretty good at sewing.”

He’d spent hours making them a quilt- by hand, when he could just have conjured it- so he could offer them this olive branch. After everything. Deceit was choked up, but he wasn’t sure which emotions in specific were clogging his throat. His voice didn’t sound like his when he spoke.

“I am also sorry!” So it was a little stilted, cut him some slack! It was hard to focus on being well-spoken and not lying at the same time, “You are- No, you aren’t- solely at fault for our not at all strained relationship.”

“What?” Patton didn’t seem to comprehend. Remus, who looked disgustingly proud of Deceit, translated for him.

“He’s saying that we’re also sorry for being giant cunts, thanks for the neat blanket, and let’s call it even?”

The snake nodded in agreement.

Patton’s eyes grew wide and his smile faded, leaving behind soft surprise. He clearly hadn’t expected any sort of forgiveness, which was both saddening and admirable. He was just a living teddy bear, wasn’t he?

With an exaggerated groan, Deceit placed the quilt to the side and stood, opening his arms. Remus cheered and caught him around the waist with his arm, pulling all three of them together for a tangled group hug. Deceit pretended to hate it, but it was very hard to.

After the two extremely affectionate traits finally got tired of squeezing the life out of him, Deceit extricated himself and determinedly ignored how hot his face had gotten. He curled up on the couch and held the bundled quilt to his chest protectively. Patton and Remus worked together to settle on a movie before joining him. The latter leaned in very close, whispering right against Deceit’s ear.

“You think we can convince him into a threesome?”

Deceit turned the volume up twenty notches and sat next to Patton for the rest of the movie, out of spite.

It was hardly the last time Patton visited them. Deceit probably should have expected the clinginess from him, popping in daily to tell them about the latest happenings in The Conscious or show them a “““funny””” meme he’d seen on Facebook. Once that door of camaraderie had opened just a crack, the moral trait had enthusiastically torn it off its proverbial hinges. And the oddest thing was how little Deceit minded.

Patton was, in many ways, like Remus. Energetic, imaginative, affectionate, and containing depths of emotions that you’d never guess he had at first glance. Some days, Morality would run in with bright markers and an even brighter smile to have Remus to teach him new art techniques. Other times, he’d shuffle to Deceit’s door late at night, eyes bloodshot, asking whisper-quiet for a cup of tea and to spend some time together. Those nights in particular stuck with the lying trait, when he would watch Patton’s expression slowly lighten as they chatted together, talking about everything and nothing.

Another bonus of all that had happened Logan, who had now become a friend to the former Dark Sides (Deceit was very thankful to be able to chat with someone else who was Competent). Never had Deceit been so glad that he was wrong about someone!

But, as he’d quietly admitted to both Morality and Logic just a couple nights ago, there was something missing. He hadn’t elaborated, but apparently he hadn’t needed to. Leading them to now.

When Remus and Deceit had been invited for breakfast that morning, they’d of course agreed (you just can’t say no to Patton’s puppy eyes), but they were quickly abandoned with Roman and Virgil by the two bespectacled sides. The blue-hued traits supposedly had a surprise and would be right back, but Deceit could taste the lie. Yet, constrained as he was by the societal expectation to not freak the fuck out when things didn’t go the way he liked, he waited patiently while refusing to make eye-contact with Anxiety.

But then his good-for-nothing despicable traitor of a boyfriend stood up.

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to go stand in the kitchen and wait for things to be less awkward!”

Roman, similarly the worst, jumped to his feet as well.

“And I left the stove on!”

So now he was just. Staring at his ex-best friend. Which was fine.

He took a sip of his drink.

“Are you drinking wine at nine in the morning?” Virgil asked suddenly. Deceit looked down at his own drink, then towards the identical wineglass sitting by the other’s plate.

“Yes? Aren’t you?”

“This is apple juice,” he held the glass up and swirled it, earning a snicker from Deceit.

“Why are you drinking apple juice from a wine glass?”

“Why are you drinking wine at nine in the morning?”

He jerked his thumb in the direction of the kitchen, brow raised in a silent explanation: I’ve got that one, remember? Virgil nodded solemnly, a smile playing at his lips. With that minuscule, vaguely pleasant interaction, they returned to silence.

“Patton sure is taking his sweet time,” Deceit thought it only fair that he be the one to break the quiet this time, just so they were even.

“Something tells me it’s gonna be a lot longer. It’s kinda obvious what he’s doing.”

“Mm. Subtlety is not one of his virtues. It’s a nice gesture, though,” the lack of hostility in the conversation was beginning to irk him. It was almost nice. God, he’d missed it, he hated how he’d missed it.

“Yeah…” Virgil glanced away and shifted in his seat, “Yeah. He’s nice.”

“I agree.”

“Look,” the anxious side set his glass down, “Pat’s my best friend, so I’m doing this for him. I think he’s been kinda lonely lately, and I feel... responsible. Like, he’s not into me or Ro and Lo, and we aren’t either, but it’s- it’s not the same now, the four of us. And it’s pretty obvious that you guys make him happy- he talks about you all the time- so I’m giving you this one chance. Don’t fuck it up, and don’t you dare hurt him.”

Deceit blinked, blindsided. Sincerity got to him, it got under his skin and tore apart his quick wit like it was paper. He had to clear his throat a couple of times before any actual words came to him.

“I won’t repeat my past mistakes. I-” he nearly shuddered, “I promise it.”

Virgil seemed appeased, his expression easing into something more familiar (painfully familiar and new all at once). His lips quirked up in a smug smirk.

“Good. Didn’t wanna have to nudge you down a staircase, anyway.”

Deceit chuckled. From there, the conversation flowed almost naturally. It wasn’t like old times. Maybe that was a good thing. It wasn’t quite friendly, not yet, but there was an impression. If he played his cards right, if he stayed genuine, then it would be. Soon. And that was enough for now.

Remus scrambled to the top of the fridge and loomed over his brother. He was, for once, not the first to talk.

“So we wait it out in here until Sherlock and Watson get back from whatever it is that they’re pretending to do-”

“Which is when Snakey and Virgey kiss and make up-”

“Which will be never,” Roman concluded, sitting on the counter. He idly smoothed down his already meticulously styled hair (vain bitch). Remus picked a flea from his own scalp and flicked it at him spitefully, but it went unnoticed. Just like everything he did.

“I don’t know why they couldn’t have let me in on their little scheme, I shouldn’t have to be between that situation.”

Remus laughed wickedly, a noise with very little mirth and a whole lot of frustration.

“Mhm, yeah- you’re just a saint, getting along with everybody! You haven’t got a single problem to work out!”

“I didn’t say that,” Roman replied indignantly, “I know that Deceit and I don’t have a great history, but we get along fine now.”

Unbelievable. No- it was completely fucking believable! Remus should just hit him, tear his arms off and beat him with them, pull out the ol’ morning star and smash his brother’s skull in. How stupid he’d been to think that this could be fixed. Roman was impossible. No matter how hard Remus tried, he’d never get anywhere, no matter how supportive Patton was.

“Whoah, you okay?”

The Duke blinked, staring down at the angry, crescent-shaped marks that he’d clawed into his arms unknowingly. He tilted his head to stare at the other Creativity.

“Not really, no!”

Roman seemed taken aback. He leaned up and rested his arms on top of the fridge beside Remus.

“Don’t let Patton see you do that, he’ll have a fit,” he joked, reaching up to grab Remus’ hands. The Intrusive trait scrambled away to the other edge of the appliance.

“Don’t tell me what to do, and don’t pretend to care about what I do!”

“What? What are you-” Roman cut himself off, his face clouding with realization, “Oh.”

“What is it now?”

“I- I’m supposed to talk to you, aren’t I?”

Remus stared at him for a long, thoughtful moment. He then erupted into cackles, spitting laughs out like it was the only thing stopping him from breaking down (it was).

“Oh, whatever. Don’t pretend you don’t hate me just for Patty’s sake.”

Roman hopped off the counter, standing in front of the fridge with arms crossed. He looked angry- but not angry at Remus? That was new. New and weird.

“You think I hate you?”

“I know you hate me, Roro,” he pulled himself to the edge of his platform, swinging his legs out in front of him.

“Do you hate me?”

Remus wasn’t quite sure how to answer that one. It was fine, because Roman didn’t wait for a response anyway.

“Get down here.”

“Why should I?”

“So I can- so we can- Ugh, just get down!”

The Duke got down. Curiosity killed the cat, after all (or the cephalopod, as the case may be).

Once within his reach, Roman threw his arms open and wrapped Remus up in a fierce hug.

Remus swayed, suddenly very dizzy. Was the world always this blurry? No, no, maybe he was crying? Or maybe he’d gone blind? It didn’t matter either way, all that mattered was that someone was hugging him. Willingly.

“You’re my brother,” Roman hissed, “You annoy the hell out of me. And we don’t get along much. And we fight, a lot, but it wasn’t ever anything more than that. I didn’t mean for it to be more than that. You’re my brother-”

“You already mentioned that part-”

“Shush!”

He shushed.

“I don’t hate you. How could I?”

Oh. Well. Hm. That changed things.

Remus’ awareness jolted back into him then. He lifted Roman off the ground with ease and spun around in wide circles, smiling with all of his teeth (which said a lot; he had quite the array of teeth). He held on like his brother would disappear if he let go, conjuring more limbs for the express purpose of holding on tighter.

“Rem!”

“Yeah, bro?” his voice was giddy, and distinctly wobbly, but that was irrelevant. He spun again.

“I- I’m very glad that we’re having this bonding moment, but I think you broke my ribs.”

“Oh, oops,” Remus let go immediately, dropping Roman to the floor. He offered a shrug in apology.

“Oh yeah, I don’t hate you either, by the way.”

“I assumed so,” Roman wheezed, using the counter to pull himself back to his feet. He gave Remus a lopsided smile.

“It’s good we don’t hate each other. Now I don’t have to knock you out whenever I wanna hang out with Patty.”

“Yeah, that is a relief.”

“Wow, we’re good at this whole reconciliation thing! Let’s go rub it in Vee and Dee’s emotionally constipated faces!” In mere minutes Remus already forgot what being sad felt like. Life was good and he had no problems anymore!

“We probably should make sure they haven’t killed each other,” Roman held a hand out, which Remus grabbed gleefully.

“Ugh! Why are you always sticky?!”

“Do you really want the answer to that?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

They returned to the dining room, hand-in-hand, only to find their respective boyfriends having a perfectly civil conversation.

‘Coincidentally’, as soon as Remus and Roman resumed their places at the table, Patton and Logan rose up with an enormous stack of stunningly fluffy pancakes. They shared a secretive smile- as though they genuinely believed that nobody knew what they’d done. Deceit didn’t correct them, but only because he hardly wanted to admit that they’d been successful (maybe it was just him that was bad at making plans; everybody else seemed to have it down).

Breakfast was short. Deceit could’ve just finished eating a five course meal and he’d still find it hard not to wolf down Patton’s cooking, especially his breakfast food.

And naturally, Deceit offered to help clean up, which had also been a quick task. He’d just dried his hands and flashed Morality a small smirk, turning to leave. He didn’t get far before Remus grabbed his arm and swung them both back into the kitchen.

“Before we leave, aren’t we forgetting something, DeeDee?”

Patton set down the last plate and shot them a confused look.

“I haven’t the slightest clue what you mean, dearest,” Deceit claimed, pointedly not looking at either of them. Patton was growing progressively more bemused.

“Did you lose something again, Re?”

“I haven’t, but Dee seems to have lost his manners.”

The dishonest trait threw his arms up and groaned. If he was only a tad less in love, he’d have decked that look off of Remus’ face.

“Alright! Patton, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!”

“What are we thanking him for?” Remus needled.

“Everything,” he’d intended it to come out biting and sarcastic, and was disgusted to find his voice laced with sincerity, of all things!

There was most certainly an adoring, proud look on Patton’s face. He was looking away, he did not see it.

“Oh, you two,” he still heard him though, rambling on, “It was just the least I could do!”

Remus made a noise. It was loud and completely unintelligible, but with a general air of happiness. And, for what was very much not the first time, Deceit was crushed in an over-enthusiastic threeway hug with no means of escape. He hissed, the noise dying on his lips as soon as he saw the wide and excited grins on both Patton and Remus’ faces that were very, very close.

Morality really had done something amazing for them- something that Deceit had hoped for for ages. Now the side just looked so happy with himself, with what he’d done, and with them.

Deceit looked between Remus and Patton.

The human half of his face was burning.

He looked again, just to be sure.

Those were definitely the same feelings, huh? Oh fuck.

“You guys are just too much,” Patton laughed, clearly unaware of Deceit’s impending emotional crisis. His hold around Deceit’s waist had tightened, and with little warning, both him and Remus were no longer on the ground.

The former Dark Sides caught eyes. The red of Remus’ face contrasted dramatically with the green of his apparel.

Double fuck.

Patton had clearly mistaken their stunned silence as uncomfortableness, letting them down gently and stepping back.

“Sorry, I got a little carried away.”

“It’s fine!” Was Deceit’s voice always that shrill?

“Yeah, don’t worry about it! But we have to go, right now- important, mysterious things to do! You know us, pure villainy!”

“Yes, that, what he said!”

They sunk out.

It was quiet as they appeared in The Subconscious. Remus looked at his boyfriend. Deceit was staring back, but his mind was very clearly miles elsewhere.

“So. We should maybe talk about that.”

The trait opened his mouth to speak, still looking rather dazed, but Remus interrupted him.

“I swear to God, babe, if you say ‘talk about what?’, or ‘oh, Dear, I have no idea what you mean,’ I am going to rip your esophagus out with my teeth and swallow it.”

Deceit’s mouth snapped shut, then open, then shut. He shuffled over to the couch and proceeded to drop onto it like a ragdoll.

“I think I have feelings for Patton.”

Remus sighed in relief and flopped down next to him, draping his arms across the shell-shocked snake side.

“Glad we’re on the same page.”

“You’re happy?”

He thought the question over carefully, and an absolutely terrifying possibility occurred to him.

“Yeah- I- we are on the same page, right? Like, he’s super cute and nice and fuckable, but you and I still…?” he let himself trail off. There were very few things that Remus struggled to say, but the thought that two of his favorite people would move on from him- together, no less- was both wildly horrifying and too familiar to verbalize.

Deceit snapped out of his stupor long enough to glare angrily at Remus- more specifically, glare at the train of thought that he knew Remus was following.

“I’ll always love you, you idiot. Nobody and nothing will change that.”

Remus smiled- not a grin, but a smile- and exhaled slowly. Good, back on track.

“I love you, too. Right, now what do we do?”

“...Do?”

The Duke sat up straight enough to bonk his head against Deceit’s, eliciting a small ‘ow’.��

“Yes, ‘do’; when people have feelings for each other they do something about it- especially when that person is their friend. Unless you were planning on ignoring this, pushing it down, and going back to keeping Patton at arm’s length, which would ruin a perfectly good relationship in an effort to not ruin that relationship. Was that what you wanted to do?”

“Well when you put it like that... No.”

“Alright, my pretty little liar, what do you want?”

Deceit hid his face in Remus’ neck. His muffled voice said something sounding a lot like ‘I have no fucking clue’.

“I can tell you what I’d like?”

More muffled noises: translation ‘If you say threesome I’m going to end you’.

“No- well, yeah- but I meant that we should woo him!”

Deceit pulled back to squint up at Remus.

“Woo him?”

“This whole conversation, you’re just a broken record- yes, do, yes, woo! We could be a throuple!”

The Duke saw Deceit very nearly say ‘throuple?’, before deciding to actually contribute to the discussion.

“I will admit, that sounds… alright, it sounds lovely. In theory. Do you really think that’s a good idea, though? Why should we risk it- we’ve only just fixed things, why go breaking them again?”

“So if Patton isn’t interested, he’s not going to be friends with us anymore, either? Does that sound like something he’d do?”

“Well- not really- but-”

“Who was right about making friends with him in the first place?”

Deceit glowered, answering begrudgingly.

“You were. But still-”

“Who was right about fixing things with Virgil?”

“... You.”

His gaze remained hesitant, so Remus continued.

“And who’s going to be right about this, when the three of us are all sucking face?”

Deceit dropped his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

“Why do you keep being helpful? I’m supposed to be the smart one in this relationship.”

“Trust me babe, I hate it too,” Remus sympathized, “D’you want me to go microwave some silverware? You can brag to Logan about single-handedly saving my life from the explosion!”

The dishonest side smirked, leaning forwards once more to peck Remus’ cheek.

“That’s an awful idea, my love.”

Tags:

@deceits-left-glove

@princemesscharming

@shrimp-crockpot

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sotorubio · 4 years

Note

Hello. Why didn't you like all the skam fr pairings?

I mean ok Emma Yann were toxic.

Manon Charles are an abusive relationship.

I thought Elliott and Lucas were alright.

Imane and Sofiane had potential.

But I liked Maya and Lola. Like yes they could have handled it better, but they had chemistry I thought.

Would love to hear your opinion.

heyyy!

so for me it's both a subjective & an objective problem bc i'm not a very romantic person myself, i prefer domesticity & that type of private relationship n i can't stand public romantic gestures or love songs & flowers n that type of grandiose romance which is p much what france's romantic plots heavily rely on. which is fine! but it definitely has a negative effect on my personal enjoyment of the couples

the more objective reasoning is that the writing is often very shallow when it comes to the relationship or the relationship is compromised for the sake of drama w/o any proper resolution/communication which just kinda ruins the dynamic. it's usually stuff like - Couple in love -> conflict -> terrible communication -> let's have the couple make up w/o actually talking abt the roots of the original conflict - all that kinda makes the couples feel "empty" n just badly written. also often when the couple is in the background of a season they're Very diluted n the relationship AND the characters r kinda stripped down to fan service bc all we see is either pure lovey dovey happiness or dramatic conflict, there's no visible middle ground where the couple just exists as individuals who happen to be in a complex but loving relationship. sometimes they've managed that better for example w daphné who had much more to offer than her relationship w basile in s6.

but since u also listed some couples i can do a more specific reasoning for main couples!

emma & yann, agreed the joneva couple is a quite toxic one + i didn't rly get invested in the first season anyway bc it felt like a copy paste from the og so that kinda ruined the couple as well

manon & Charles yes agreed again it's just abusive

daphné & basile surprisingly objectively v well written but i just don't like basile i know he grew as a person but i just can't get behind the basile hype, personally slfjkd

eliott & lucas i just don't rly vibe with. they're the biggest victims of the above mentioned subjective & objective reasons.. i did find them good in the 3rd season n i definitely see why ppl like them but ever since they fell into the background it's "meh" at best n "why r they even together anymore" at worst for me... the writing was so attention grabbing (in s6) n fan servicy (in s4 & 5) in my opinion that it felt more like a fan fiction couple than a tv show couple. (not to mention eliott's almost nonexistent life outside his relationship) just my two cents tho!

sofimane i mentioned in the tags already they were rly nice but the writing of s4 just kinda made it a huge "Why?" for me. loved seeing them interact in s5 tho i don't think any (?) yousanas have gotten the chance to appear as an established couple before

i'll throw in alexia & arthur i just didn't like the kiss in s4 AT ALL bc i thought arthur was a rly bland character n i was so disappointed when i found out they were a thing in s5 i think we can all also agree that the cheating kiiiinda made it a Not Good relationship

for mayla i do love the idea of them n i think they did have chemistry but personally i found maya's character v flat she didn't have that much depth n didn't rly have a role outside of being the main's gf (all this is the writing's fault tho, not as much maya's character herself) so the relationship just felt v one dimensional n also the feelings moved super fast (insta love is a trope i can't stand) like they interacted v little n suddenly they were in love n kissing n went directly into a relationship then into a break up n again into a make up u know. i just felt like w everything going on in lola's season (it was A Lot) there wasn't that much room to develop a realistic & functional relationship + the handling of "love conquers all" mentality irt the mental health issues & addiction added to the damage n i just couldn't see it anymore 🤷��♀️ i get the appeal tho they could've been a great couple if the writing was better for maya & the whole season rly!

sorry this is long but here r some thoughts thank u for asking i like answering this kinda stuff :) 💌

#inbox #anon #skam france

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mochuelovelli · 4 years

Note

So in the fix it au, my next concern is on Della facing the karma for her action. What's the divergences in terms of that since you said it'd be modified a bit.

To specify, I meant more along the lines of Della being held more accountable for what she says/does on the time she spends prior and during the season 2 finale.

For example, episodes like Raider of the Doomsday Vault where Dewey's turmoil of trying to prove himself to his mother and having to accept that he's always good enough for her while at the same time having her full confidence and support in him that he can do anything. That's a really good message, what kinda takes away from that originally is that it's pared with Della being reckless with not just her son's safety (which is important) but also got away with Scrooge getting fr mad at her to her face when the tree conveniently was able to fix the problem it created but also solve the existing problems it already had which is?? Not a good message to send to kids? Like ik its all cartoon logic but still it also does a disservice to Scrooge's very rational concerns about Della.

While I don't think he needs to tear her a new one, he definitely shouldn't be so 100% fine with her convenient solution. Especially since he himself doesn't like Gladstone's Luck bc he doesn't believe he earned it. Paying attention to *exit strategies* shouldn't be what wholey makes Scrooge think Della is more responsible, it doesn't negate destroying "humanity's last hope" bc you wanna see a money tree. Maybe Della is shown to think a little more ahead as well in this ep, being able to stop the tree from completely destroying everything, add a little bit about back up seeds. Maybe Glomgold's little mission to mess with Scrooge included bugging up the vaults systems prior so Della wanting to go into the Vault with Dewey actually let them trip the traps early to prevent Scrooge from looking incompetent by having his Security teams die out there. It wouldn't excuse her reckless behavior bc she didn't initially plan to find that or make Dewey feel as secure as he should be but she isn't so...childish. Scrooge at the end might say something that could echo Beakley's Statement in Timephoon, maybe in a softer way because he has a weak spot for the twins still. Just something to make Della doubt her parenting and draw tighter lines to her development as a mom throughout the season.

She also needs to grow not just as a mom but as a person, a friend. Which is what her plot with Launchpad in the Cornelius Coot episode brings. Her and Webby's stories are allowed a lot more time here since I almost completely side lined the Bigtime C plot bc god that was such a drag. I think her conflict with LP pretty much stays the same way, if not giving LP more emotional intelligence and having him know when he's being too intense with her. She is jealous/bitter of LP because she feels like he almost replaces ever box she ticks. The obvious is known, but she dislikes that even though Dewey is the one who most vocally loves her, she still is upset that LP knows more about her kids than she does. That while she might be a great mechanic and pilot, he's telling her what Huey might need, what Louie asked for, what Dewey and Webby did earlier that he knew about that she didn't. She gets pissed because the person who she sees as a complete fool is making her feel small and stupid. Really, he's protected her kids more than she ever has. To her it's crushing...so she gets angry because if not well ya know.

Her little talk with Webby makes her come to terms with not only should she see others like Webby, whom she already could see was so talented but assumed she didn't need *her help* (maybe bc of hidden insecurities), but LP as well. That they should learn from each other, practically and impractically. That she shouldn't be so close hearted, that she can't afford to be.

I think this connection with LP can also extend to Gyro and Penumbra and Della's relationship with them. I wont go too in depth but Gyro's little moments with Della when she first comes back would definitely foreshadow the development in Astroboyd. Della's little worry about Penny not actually being her friend is also touched on more, she comes out of it realizing how she should've acted better even when she hears that Penny thinks of her as a friend. And maybe something more dont @ me

TLDR; Della's insecurities are on bigger display, Scrooge and Beakley are also a little more present in their critiques. Della learns more explicitly how not only be a better mom but a better friend.

#ducktales #dt17 #ducktales 17 #ducktales 2017 #della duck #this is so long sorry #fix it au #ducktales fix it au #moonvasion #man guys do i have plans for gyro della friendship ull love it

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iguessishouldbethankful · 5 years

Note

BOUNCING OFF THE ASK I ANSWERED rant about [pairing] FOR FALUCY? TY ILY 💕💕

SHIP ASKS:

TW: Death, depression, suicidal ideation.

Can it be a good rant? Because let me tell you something...

Out of all the female characters that Star Fox had, for some reason, I fell hard for Lucy Hare back in 2010. Why? I have no idea. All I know is that playing Star Fox Command made me adore her more than I should. And of course, seeing as Falco is my big favorite in the entire series, I wanted to ship them. But at the time I had no idea how to--I was also not as active in the RP community then so most of it were skin deep ideas and maybes.

Until I jumped in deep back in the end of 2018.

You see... I made a Lucy Hare Rp blog and I went deep into Lucy’s character and headcanons. Her history, her motives, etc. And a lot of my headcanons for Vivian Hare comes from Immy’s version of Vivian so shout outs for her. Anyway, I started to think about Lucy’s past and her relationship to the Star Fox team and it occured to me that Lucy would have been introduced to Falco when she was 16, a year before the war. And there was absolutely no romantic interest between the two. Falco was new and super awkward around everywhere and probably not exactly all that friendly at first. And Lucy? She was fucking salty. Salty like the depths of the Dead Sea. Why?

BECAUSE FALCO TOOK HER SPOT IN THE TEAM.

Peppy and Fox denied her entry to the Star Fox team because, well, Peppy didn’t want to lose his daughter, and she was too young, and Vivian needed someone to help her around. So Lucy was stuck and incredibly sour about it--the reject, so to speak. But she never said anything to Falco. Instead she just forced a smile, being daddy’s and mommy’s good little girl.

Be the good girl.

Dealing with the war, protecting her mother, dealing with her strong crush to Fox because of course she would have a crush on Fox. They were inseparable as kids, why wouldn’t she have a crush on him? Why wouldn’t she be hopeful of being his right hand pilot, or even a strategist. Go to the Academy, be a team with Slippy and Bill like they always dreamed of! She didn’t expect James to ever die and change her father’s mind, or for Fox to break his promise... For things to change.

Finishing the Academy after the war, graduating as a pilot, but decides to go to college afterwards because, well... She didn’t want anything to do with piloting. Her heart broke. So Astrophysics it was. She’s very smart, but of course being rejected stung enough that it did make her question if this was what she really wanted to do.

It didn’t matter, do what you can. Keep an eye on mother. They survived the war, Peppy was out there with Fox still. They’ll be back soon. They’d be able to talk about stuff and she’d feel better.

Thing is, Peppy hardly returned home at all. Answered calls less and less, trying to maintain the Great Fox together was the lack of jobs was increasing. And Lucy was feeling too numb to even have a reaction--as her mother was slowly wasting away. You see, Vivian has a rare rabbit disease that usually affects the females of the family. She’d slowly lose feelings and become paralyzed. It got worse after the war. Lucy was taking care of Vivian up until they moved her to the hospital.

Soon, Vivian could only breathe because the machines manually did it for her. Lucy was too numb to care about her father. When she finally reached him, it was an emergency call. Dad, she’s gone.

You see...

The second time Lucy met Falco, was during Vivian Hare’s funeral. Lucy was emotionless, possibly perceived strong, but she had cried her eyes out before hand. Whereas everyone comforted Peppy instead. The rabbit was devastated. Falco mostly kept to himself, silent as well. There was nothing to really talk about. He... wasn’t good with grief. He wasn’t good with loss.

It scared him.

A year after this happened, Falco left the team, and Lucy graduated from college and left Corneria for an Academy job on Fichina. there was nothing but silence and cold from all corners fr a long time. And Lucy kept tabs on the team, hoping maybe one day she’d get closer to them but understood her father’s reluctance about the subject. Give it time, he was grieving too.

So Lucy became accustomed to the frigid world of Fichina. The underground city layout due to the intense weather it had. The lack of sun. The rising rates of depression and ideation, limited resources because everything needed to be imported, and her having only so many cadets interested in her subject despite it being important. They wanted to fly, not study. Slowly, her heart was very limited. Her smile plastered on to hide the fact that she was still hurt and a little angry.

And one day, she calls in to her father and finds out that Falco returned and that they also had a new member to the Star Fox team that would be taking his place. Oh? Yes. Meet Krystal.

....oh....

Someone that had no Academy training, someone that had no prior history with flying, someone that has no connections to the team until recently... Someone that she was presented to and said that adored Peppy as though he were her own father. To Lucy, it was like tearing open so many old scars, letting the wounds fester. Especially when she saw the dreamy look on Fox’s face. The smiling look on Peppy’s face.

...I see.

Be the good girl.

Smile. Be supportive. Be happy that her father would soon be retiring. That they would... have a good pilot. That they were getting back on their feet again and quickly hired on to chase Andrew’s Rebellion that was quickly rising. Smile through the coming months of constant worry ad waiting for the retirement to come--soon she’d finally have her father closer to her. Hopefully. Smile as the Aparoids attacked Fichina, putting many lives in jeopardy. Smile as Peppy never answered her calls.

Smile when Fox finally contacts her, explaining what happened after they invaded the Aparoid home world,how Peppy almost lost his life.

Enough.

Lucy broke. She shrieked. Fox never saw his childhood friend hold so much fury before. None of the team did. Not even Peppy. Not even when Lucy was rejected to be part of the team. It lead them to visit Fichina and let Lucy confront her father, convincing him to finally retire. He was left there by the team and Lucy finally had him close to her for once.

Only for a few months however. General Pepper had chosen Peppy to take his place. Good things only lasted for a little while. The Star Fox team also broke apart yet again.It was funny how bitterness could bring Lucy and Krystal together as friends. Even if it was skin deep, Lucy still appreciated the vulpine. Funny how only then, when Fox was trying to set records straight with Star Wolf, dealing with the Anglar rising did Lucy finally get a chance to spread her wings and defend her new home. Fight along side the remains of what was the Star Fox team. Again, good things only lasted for a while.

Slippy was engaged ad about to marry in a few weeks. Soon after, so was Fox and Krystal. The team was dismantling for good. Fox’s wedding was the confirmation of his decision. A peace well needed for the family, or so, Lucy hoped. Despite the fury she spat at the team about Peppy almost dying, she never got the chance to truly say what she felt. To spill all the poison she had. And it felt as though, when James died, her world just broke apart as well. She lost her own father due to an all consuming guilt that was too focused and forgetful and selfish.

Seeing Peppy walk Krystal down the aisle to Fox was a reminder of that. A punch to the gut. So much Lucy hoped for, hoping she’d be accepted or seen, she’d been ignoring her own chances to be happy. Spent a while life waiting for a father or a glance her way from a team that really didn’t do the same. Why should they? She was never meant to be part of them. The wedding just made everything around Lucy break the bits of hope she had, realizing that... she waited for nothing really. She’d go back home to a frigid rock and she’d be there, waking up to the cold sunless planet, with cadets that didn’t care much about her classes and a father that was barely there for her.

And she didn’t want to go back. Honestly she didn’t want to go on. During the wedding reception, Lucy quietly left on foot. She even smiled when no one noticed when she was gone. No one texted her on her phone. No one called her. 30 minutes, a walk from the celebration hall to a long lonely bridge. Shoes off, climbing up the railing. Take in the rushing river, the moon, the wind that made her aqua dress move like waves. No one would notice, really.

Desperation was funny like that. A moment of weakness.

‘I don’t get how you’re not cold. The metal’s freezing to me.’

Falco leans up against the railing next to her, surprising her. Soon, both of them were watching the moonlight as she talked to her. Possibly the first real conversation they truly had. Lucy was stunned to notice that he had noticed her leave quietly. How?

‘You had that look on your face. The kind your dad had when your mom passed away. Just no crying.’

Lucy asked how did he know. How could he know what was going through her mind? To him, it was easy only because... he was feeling it too. When Lucy had chances to become something else, Falco really had none of that. No family to return to, no real drive to find another purpose. Flying is all he’s good at and the Star Fox team was all he really had. It was home. A family. That was now gone. It also didn’t help that he also had a thing for Fox. He lost that too because he was a fool. He left when he shouldn’t have.

This sort of confession was something Lucy needed to hear. To pull her out of herself and not focus so much on what she lost. It was enough to make her regret what went through her mind when she climbed the railing of the bridge. And Falco helped her down.

‘I don’t want to go back there.’

‘That’s fine, I don’t want to either. I ain’t about formal stuff.’And he was glad Lucy laughed at that. ‘How ‘bout we cross the rest of the bridge and go downtown? Downtown Corneria doesn’t sleep and we’re dressed up anyway.’

Lucy accepts, brushing the tears away from her smudged make up and taking his offered hand. Shoes back on, wristlet in hand, they crossed the bridge, leaving behind an episode in their lives and starting a new one.

Who knows.

Might lead to something so much better.

#star fox #falco lombardi #lucy hare #falucy #long post #my drabbles #headcanons #spacenintendogs

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scarlettlawyer · 5 years

Text

Part 9 of my reaction/commentary to the Phantoms & Mirages fanfic series by @renegadewangs

(Chasing Phantoms): Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

(Haunted Specters): Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

(Vanquishing Mirages): Part 7 | Part 8

Welp. This is gonna be very painful for me on sooo many levels.

Hooo I kinda feel like I’m playing directly with fire in this post.

Now, it’s worth calling attention to the fact that these reaction/commentary posts are, first and foremost, built on my reactions to the source material. They are recounting the journey I, personally, went through as I read this series – that’s why I focus so much on my feelings and what I thought. There is more objective analysis at times, but it’s not the primary focus. Just in case you’re wondering why I’m focusing on myself so much and might get a little “omg can u shut up about urself and just get back to the story already???” pff. (And besides, more objective analysis is always inevitably filtered through the individual’s thoughts/mindset/perspective/preferences/etc anyway. So I’m basically just not even trying to tune any of that stuff out, as one would inevitably have to for a more proper series of reviews.) Ah… I hope reading in such depth about my personal rollercoaster journey is at least somewhat interesting. And not too boring.

…Yes, at the very least, I hope this post makes for a SOMEWHAT entertaining read.

That was part of my goal. Other than honesty to the point of self-sabotage.

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 18

There’s a whole bunch of small things I could comment on in this chapter but I’m going to gloss over them instead. I… can’t bring myself to dwell too much on the “side-things” in this post, really.

So. The image of the phantom, sitting with his head in his hands as Bobby and Palaeno dote over him while the phantom just irritably tries to wave them off is just, everything to me. xDDDD One of my faaaaavourite things. And then the phantom just leaping to his feet like that… The entire scene I could just go on and on about it at length… But I won’t. xDDDD The best game of “how much of an uncomfortable situation and awkwardness can we possibly apply to our dear spy – having other characters dote to the point of it being outright patronising – and how will this near-emotionless man respond to such outside forces?”

Okay actually, I will ramble just a Little. “Bobby and phantom = mother and child” is one of my favourite dynamics in this whole series. Bobby in this scene is just No. 1 Mum and it’s aaaall of my yes. So the phantom is forced to play the role of the child once more at this point in the chapter. The reality is that he’s a convicted criminal and therefore cannot be trusted on his own, hence requiring a bathroom escort. But he might as well be a helpless little child who requires adult supervision, as is the norm with children – this is the other amusing lens through which you can joke about Blackquill needing to lead the way there for him.

With that, Simon turned and led the way towards the door. The Phantom followed, as obedient as could be, and Fulbright looked like he was about to do the same.

The “as obedient as could be” gets me every damn time, ahahaha. Because it really feels to slot him firmly into that “child” role. Being a good little child. For now. His major modes seem to be “obedient child” (e.g. “Sam Specter” doing the dishes in Haunted Specters if you wanted to push it) and of course the classic “petulant child”.

“Am I still meant to thank you for saving my life?” “Would it have even the slightest shred of sincerity to it?” Simon questioned. “Of course not.” “Then, no.”

THIS IS RIGHT UP THERE WITH SOME OF MY FAVOURITE PHANTOM EXCHANGES IN THIS SERIES.

“A fool, but not worthy of the title Fool Bright. Isn’t that right?” The Phantom managed some sort of failed echo of a smile. A smile that wouldn’t convince anyone who saw it. The words struck Simon as odd. Before the Phantom regained his memories, he would choose Fulbright’s side and use an almost defensive attitude to protect the man. Now that the lost year had returned to him, things seemed different.

Just. Shoot me. Please.

So I guess. Maybe he’s still trying to determine if Simon might be hurt the same way he’s sure Bobby will be?? I guess??? Perhaps… his words aren’t so much about how the name “Fool Bright” impacts him personally, but from his perspective… Simon calling him “Fool Bright” could imply that capacity for him to get deeply hurt by the phantom’s death, that Simon might also have some kind of attachment to him like Bobby does but is less obvious about it, and the phantom obviously doesn’t want that. So I guess his goal here… is possibly trying to determine if Simon has any sentimentality towards him that also needs to be stomped out for Simon’s own sake??

“You need to watch your tongue, Phantom. One might almost accuse you of being jealous.”

Me: um dude did he just. Go there? Did Simon really just- nah that can’t be right, I’m just reading things into his words that aren’t there you know-

“Your relationship? You believe I hold romantic or even sexual interest in you?”

Me: OH. OH OKAY. SO I GUESS WE’RE JUST? I GUESS SIMON REALLY WENT THERE HUH AND THE BOTH OF THEM ARE JUST NOT SHYING AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. THEY’RE JUST MEETING THIS TOPIC HEAD-ON. WELL. OKAY THEN!

The sheer level of whiplash that this turn in their conversation had on me- I had literally only just been joking with my friend about the parent-child dynamics present among the trio from EARLIER ON IN THE SAME CHAPTER as I’d been reading through it.

The scene just. Ends on that line. Wild enough on its own.

And then it. Bobby. The next scene. H. And then the ffffffffffffff

Chapter end.

Me:

“DOES ANYBODY WANNA TELL ME WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED???????”

And on that absolutely wild note, Vanquishing Mirages draws to a firm close. It was a little bit strange that this scene never gets revisited or expanded upon moving forward, but that’s no matter. I’m sure it was an innocent writing oversight. At least this fic managed to go out with a huge bang! Turns out that thanks to Simon, the phantom had been saddled with unnecessary feelings! Hahaha, what do you know! Sooo, that about wraps it up for me and my reaction/commentary/review for this post folks, I wish anyone reading this all the best! So next up, we have Lifting Spirits! Going into Lifting Spirits, the title already has a positive touch to it, and well, we’ll just have to see what else it has in store. Cya!

Ah… I guess this post is a little short to just leave it at that then, isn’t it? Very well. Continuing on with the very next chapter that happens immediately after this one, as we begin the new fic:

Lifting Spirits, Chapter 1

He was just watching a documentary on the Tasmanian masked owl when the doorbell rang.

Hahaha omg that is such a Simon thing to do

A bit irksome, but then again, he was fairly sure he’d already seen this footage before.

Dfkjsfjksdf BIG NERD. BIRD NERD.

THE WHIPPED CREAM AND CHOCOLATE SAUCE COMMENT FROM BOBBY djdjnk GOODNESS ME. I wonder if we’ll get any further allusions to what his relationship with Domestique was, ahem, possibly like in future!

And there’s also th

OKAY FINE.

[sigh] FIIIIINE.

Finishing the Chapter 18 review then.

Well my first incredulous reaction was something like, “Are you… serious. Did we not just spend like… Two entire fics playing around with the notion that “Blackquill is Basically the phantom’s dad”???? And then you turn around and do this? HOW IS THE READER SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT THIS? NARRATIVE CAN YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIIIIND? ARE YA REALLY GONNA MAKE A PLAY AT THIS AFTER ALL THE PARENTAL DYNAMICS THAT WERE INTRODUCED?

It’s… Oh my god.

But then again.

It wasn’t like these themes hadn’t been introduced before. The first fic in the series felt so far away, out of reach, and from so long ago (and I’ve already gone over how separated it felt from the rest of the story on first readthrough so I needn’t do so again)… But I had some vague recollections you know. The main thing that stood out to me was Blackquill’s confrontation with the phantom before the phantom allowed himself to fall from the apartment window. Where Blackquill basically Trump Cards the phantom with “Ha! You’re totally into me!” and the phantom went “oh god you’re right” and was soooo ruined over the idea that he was apparently ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE that he was like whew! Think I’ll be taking my leave now and never seeing or needing to speak to you or anyone else again, so great is my mortification! And then he went BYE BYE out the window, the end. That’s Totally what happened, right? And even if that’s not exactly how the scene went, I knew, for some reason(s) that I couldn’t quite remember at the time, that the phantom having a Thing for Simon during the first fic was indisputable. (WE WILL GET TO THAT).

And the thing that’s been preventing this being brought up this entire time? The memory loss. And what’s no longer an issue? The memory loss. It was paaaaainfully obvious that things were different once the phantom regained those memories. The entire parental dynamic wherein the phantom was positioned as being Simon’s son was all set up purely in Haunted Specters, during the memory loss phase. But if I looked at it this way, I took it as “fact” that phantom was into Simon in some way or another prior to the memory loss. All of the weird parental projection stuff seemed to only come after that, while the memories of the missing year were gone. And IF THOSE MEMORIES HAD NOW RETURNED… It makes sense that……………………………

There would be some kind of reversion back to…………

So could this fic compartmentalise it like that, then? And we are to leap from the parental realm now that the memories are returned, and straight into… this? Hmm. But this alone was not enough. There were a couple of other things, too.

See, I’ve already alluded to/essentially stated this previously, but… That scene just before the phantom allows himself to fall from the window? On first readthrough, at the time, I didn’t even particularly like it or truly appreciate it. And then, we come full circle, back to when I had all my pesky little “doubts” about how the phantom’s character was handled in the first fic, finally catching up to me for my full re-evaluation.

I hadn’t really bought the one-sided phantomquill during fic 1. It was one of those doubts from back then. It just hadn’t stuck at the time.

Would it stick now?

Let’s talk a bit about phantomquill.

Well, phantomquill has never been my primary focus. My primary focus has always been the phantom (in Dual Destinies content, anyway). If given the choice, I’d prefer to just have content that has the phantom in it. Not really phantomquill stuff, although phantomquill can certainly be interesting to think about, it was never really a priority or a preference for me.

Except… Almost all phantom-focused content usually seems to be inherently phantomquill in nature. Which is fine! It would be nice to just have some neutral phantom stuff, but it looked like phantomquill was the default. The prerequisite, almost, if someone was gonna have a focus on the phantom in their story. And I didn’t mind. But I’d probably equally enjoy said stories regardless of whether the phantomquill was there or not.

So I guess I’m always kinda inclined to just shrug and go “I GUESS?” when phantomquill comes along. But I had, however, become waaay more fond of phantomquill over the years. It still wasn’t much of a preference but I’d certainly gained an appreciation for it and quite enjoyed thinking about it at times.

And obviously, obviously, from how the last two scenes are set-up – the suspiciously sudden jumpcut between them, I knew there had to be more to what was going on. I knew there probably had to be missing lines that got exchanged that the audience hadn’t seen yet, leading up to/into what Bobby walks in on.

But regardless of what those lines were… The outcome would be the same, wouldn’t it? So what difference could the conversation’s direction possibly make? Things, in one way or another, from how their conversation continues, must have gotten out of h- well. Spiralled into what Bobby sees the phantom doing!!

And I was also amused because HMM… THIS WHOLE SCENARIO… WHEREIN A BLOND PHANTOM… KISSES SIMON, COMMITTING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE IN THE PROCESS OF DOING SO… ALMOST SEEMS FAMILIAR, SOMEHOW.

But actually, there’s really no harm in that. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with fanfics containing similar scenarios playing out with their own differences added into the mix. It’s FUN and EXCITING to see different authors handle somewhat similar situations in their own ways. If anything, it should be encouraged.

So could I really accept this scene playing out in THIS fic in all its terrific absurdity? One of the important questions for that was, did it feel “earned” in any way?

I found myself thinking back to previous Vanquishing Mirages chapters, as covered in the last post. About how, back then, I was thinking how this was “peak phantomquill” and how if there’s any way phantomquill should be, it was this. Even back then, I inadvertently found myself glancing at the fic’s tags. “No phantomquill tag? No phantomquill tag? Huh… well okay then. I guess the author doesn’t think it’s phantomquill if it’s not “romantic” in nature and/or only remains subtext. That’s fair enough.” To look at those scenes… To think back to the first fic… And look at it all through a phantomquill lens…… It did feel kinda earned to me.

And you even warned me, in your own way. “Originally planned to have one-sided phantomquill.” ORIGINALLY. That’s essentially what you told me, isn’t it? Aaaand that confused me for the longest time. Honestly. I read through Chasing Phantoms like “???? “Originally” how? This one-sided phantomquill is uh, PRETTY SOLIDLY CANON IMO.” I just figured you meant “one-sided phantomquill that wasn’t just subtext” or “way more obvious”. Figured that in your opinion, if it only ever remained subtext yet still clearly there, well it wasn’t proper phantomquill then was it?

And then when I read this chapter, I was just like… (AND EVEN MESSAGED MY FRIEND BASICALLY SAYING THIS):

“THIS FIC ISN’T EVEN TAGGED AS PHANTOMQUILL W H A T”

(HOOTY HOOO PAST ME THERE’S A REASON FOR THAT).

But it just made me think, “Oh, well. I guess the only reason the author would tag something as “phantomquill” ever is if the pairing becomes canon then? Which it obviously never will here. Therefore there’s no tag for it.”

Now, I’d like to draw your attention to something I wrote in a recent reply of mine to you:

“Not to mention that I loved the courtroom jokes bit so much that, once I decided to let myself enjoy it and accept it, my Willing Suspension of Disbelief was strengthened tenfold and was ready to take just about anything you would throw at it. (And you sure were ready to throw stuff at me and had more up your sleeve!). I gave the story even more leeway to work with willingly, because everything was so perfect and I wanted my suspension of disbelief to have plenty of leeway to fully enjoy EVERYTHING. NO MORE INNER KILLJOY. I knew I could trust in the narrative because it was so strong.”

I guess this was a huge part of my downfall.

I looked at this set-up the chapter left us with – one-sided, inevitably angsty phantomquill, thought back on everything and what it came down to was… couldn’t I just accept it, just like I’d accepted things like the joke-telling? Did I want to? Did I enjoy this scenario?

…Yeah. Yeah, I realised with a bit of surprise that I did. I REALLY, REALLY DID, ACTUALLY. And I wanted to accept it. My inner killjoy was cast aside. It was tiiiime to just enjoy this perfect “angst” or whatever youd call it.

It didn’t matter how ridiculous it may be. When it comes to fanfiction… the sky tends to be the limit. It’s precisely where you can see little fantasies like this one played out. It’s… It’s… If there’s any place this kind of scenario could happen, for sure. This was it. The best thing to do is just… enjoy it for what it is.

Almost everything had primed me to thinking that… This was indisputable one-sided phantomquill, was it not? And if just about every phantom-heavy fic out there seems to have some phantomquill in it, it’s only natural that this one would too, right? There was nothing driving me to question it. And accepting it just made me ridiculously happy and excited. Yeah, it’s “angsty” and one-sided, but it made me so dang happy nonetheless.

And if this wasn’t bad enough.

I went on to make a number of other mistakes that proved to be very, very fatal.

I read this chapter after midnight. And it was sooo much to process, and I wanted to be fully awake to process whatever was coming next… And it was just way too late at night. I figured, I wouldn’t be able to handle whatever was coming next… I needed to sleep. I needed to… save it for tomorrow. And it was too late to read another chapter anyway.

…Oh, if only I had read on… I could have spared myself so much. If I had just gone straight from this chapter into the next one… I would’ve been mostly fine. Nothing would have truly had a chance to sink in and my misconception would have been quickly cleared up. I would’ve been pretty much fine, I’m sure. I would have likely suspended judgement and saved myself…

It really is the kiss itself that was the killing blow, too. If the chapter had only, if it had only ended at the phantom’s last line, and Bobby’s segment saved for the next chapter, I would have EASILY maintained plausible deniability and would have been spared. Even when Blackquill and phantom’s conversation turned in that direction, I had NOT made ANY concrete assumptions.

But what actually happened was.

I turned my computer off,

And went to sleep.

And ohhhhhh boy.

I was very excited to find out how the narrative would continue in the next chapter. Especially how the prose of the text itself would approach it. Naturally, there was going to be immediate fallout.

But the narrative patterns of this series so far also fooled me. One thing was clear: the audience was to find out what happened during the jumpcut from Blackquill’s to Bobby’s POV in the next chapter.

And WHOSE perspective is missing, that is normally left until last? Was it not evident…?

So it seems like my mind couldn’t help brainstorming, and seems my dreams were like, “Oh, what if the prose was like this, starting with this sentence, and then…”

Haah.

So you see, when I woke up the next morning, I had these lines of prose fresh in my mind! And I really liked them, actually! I couldn’t let them go to waste! I had to write them down…!

Yep. It’s terribly embarrassing to admit. But I wrote my own little snippet of a sequel before reading the next chapter. “I can compare, see how the next chapter actually goes…!” I thought to myself naively.

Which brings us to…

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 19

Finally, I eagerly open the next chapter to read and it was just…

I don’t think I’ve ever been more thoroughly played by a piece of fiction in my entire life.

There was that time I was reading a book and one of the beloved characters that I was deeply attached to was very clearly dying. Their death had been one of the possibilities I had been DREADING even before starting the book. It’s a little bit hard to stay alive when there’s a sword lodged in you like that, you know? Their consciousness was slipping away by the moment. I couldn’t read on through my tears. I had to pause reading and pull myself together to push on.

…And when I did? The character suddenly, recovered on the next page. And was fine. Because here’s the thing: said character was a zombie. But like, a weird kind of “alive” zombie which could still die I guess. Had the sword remained firmly lodged in him, chances are he would have actually died. But another character – devastated over this character’s impending death, 100% sure it was about to happen, pulled the sword out. And then, what do you know? The character sat up again and was like “lol wait I’m actually feeling a lot better now lol… well I guess that’s being a zombie for you huh.”

Hah. Well. That’s one example that comes to mind and at least, in this case… the bait and switch was actually going from one thing I desperately didn’t want – to something I actually desperately wanted. For the character to live, or “live” as a perfectly conscious zombie.

There is another example that comes to mind, a little bit closer to home, which involves… ship baiting.

I like to think that it is very hard to make me fall for ship baiting. Sure, I ship things that aren’t canon in media. And I do so with the full knowledge that they aren’t canon and will most likely never be canon. I keep those two realms nice and separate and therefore my feelings never get hurt. I never get too invested to the point of becoming upset… And I can tell, usually, what is sheer shipbaiting and what constitutes actual, canon evidence.

So there was one piece of media I was into, where two male characters were shipped with each other from the very start by the fandom, even before they ever interacted with each other. Then they actually started interacting and their dynamic was awesome, they cared for and were looking out for each other. So the shipping of the two characters only heightened dramatically in the fandom, naturally. Now, everyone was getting invested, but I looked at these two characters and went… “yeah, sure, I would love to see them get together, so I ship it.” But I figured, you know, it was never gonna actually happen, so I didn’t get too invested. I thought, yeah… the writers are deeefinitely throwing in some intentional bait with those two that they will never actually follow through on. So I didn’t get invested.

But then something happened that changed everything for me… One of those two characters got 100% confirmed, beyond a shadow of any doubt, to be canonically in love with the other, in the media itself, undeniably. I always usually look for plausible deniability to cover my bases. That’s what ship baiting relies on. But there was no way around the concrete fact that this character was in love with the other.

And in that piece of media, there was no canon reason, absolutely none, why those two characters couldn’t get together. And if Character A’s canonically in love with Character B… there were MOUNTAINS of evidence that Character B felt the same way. If anything, if I had to take a blind guess at who was in love with who, I would have figured it was Character B way more than Character A.

Well, the writers messed up and stuffed around and played with its audience. They wanted to keep baiting this ship, they introduced very transparent & pointless roadblocks as to why they couldn’t be together only after the fact of one of the character’s feelings revealed, and yeah, turns out the other character doesn’t feel the same way back. They employed just plain bad writing to introduce pointless drama and turned the previously inseparable pair against each other.

Nooow that hurt a lot because I was shipping something that, for all intents and purposes canonically speaking, could've been on the verge of becoming a reality. Before the writers decided to add unnecessary complications and reveal that the other character never felt that way. I got really invested and it turned out to be blatant baiting and, yeah.

Well the example in your fic is obviously very different from that one on a number of fronts. The example just provided was baiting the ship becoming canon. The example in your series is merely baiting the notion that a character had a specific type of feeling(s) for another. In some ways that made it all the more crushing.

Suffice it to say, I felt like the BIGGEST, STUPIDEST idiot EVER when I read the next chapter. I still do. The pain never truly went away sdklsd;madl;dfkj

Well, let’s start on the chapter itself, shall we?

With the chapter summary:

The Phantom’s crazy way of thinking turns the situation into a bit of a soap opera. How does he really feel about Simon Blackquill, as far as feeling goes with him?

Stupid, stupid me, leaning into a microphone: um. Do you even have to ask. This chapter summary alone was one of my favourite things in the world… before reading on.

”My actions were Bobby Fulbright’s actions, not a reflection of my own desires.”

Okay so. I had not actually remembered this line until this second readthrough, and I absolutely have to call bull on this. We know that prior to the phantom stealing Bobby’s life, Bobby never acted on his sexuality. FURTHERMORE, EVEN IF HE HAD, I’m calling bull once AGAIN and am gonna say that the real Bobby Fulbright would never have abused his role as parole officer to cross a line that should not have been crossed WITH A PRISONER THAT HE IS PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR. Unavoidable power balance. The Bobby I know would not, end of story. Even if the real Bobby was attracted to Simon. He wouldn’t have acted on it if he was Simon’s parole officer. AND THIS ENTIRE SPIEL IS MOOT ANYWAY BECAUSE THE PHANTOM WOULD HAVE NO WAY TO TELL WHO BOBBY WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO AND I SOMEHOW DOUBT HE GETS THAT INVESTED IN HIS ROLES TO FOLLOW THROUGH TO THIS EXTENT. I guess what it comes down to is how he later basically says “seeking acknowledgement is one thing, seeking a relationship is entirely another”. So part of the driving force was the seeking acknowledgement…? BUT IN A WEIRD NON-PHANTOMQUILL WAY…? And there’s also the fact that the identity of “Bobby Fulbright” and the nameless spy known as the phantom were blurring together. But IF the identity blurring actually played a role, that would make it phantomquill, so I kind of doubt that’s part of the explanation.

And like, sure, I get it. Pretty sure “Bobby Fulbright” behaved that way immediately after Simon mentioned “the phantom” to him. So his goal was to manipulate Simon, a little bit of that “seeking acknowledgement” in there too (BUT NOT ACTUAL PHANTOMQUILL-STYLE “SEEKING ACKNOWLEDGEMENT” APPARENTLY????) and who knows. Maybe he was searching for the damn profile. Maybe he thought it might be hidden in Simon’s clothes. WHO KNOWS. But like, I get it, it was “not a reflection of his own desires”, APPARENTLY.

fffffffffffffff

”I am what one might call aromantic and asexual,”

So as a quick aside, worth noting that on the first readthrough… Like… I knew the kiss was still coming so at the start when he’s saying this stuff, it felt more like him denying it, only for ya know… the kiss to happen and all. It was only after it fully played out that I came back to this line all like “Oh my god… he was right… he wasn’t kidding…” BUT WE’LL GET TO THERE. WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY THOUGH-

My goodness. Reading this sent me into another realm. It just like? Astral projected me to some other planet because heLLOOOO I WOULD LIKE TO DISSECT THIS A LITTLE BIT:

Firstly, the word “asexual”? Okay, that’s commonly used outside of the context of people being ace. So it would not be too surprising for him to say something about being asexual because, that’s already a commonly-used English word, even if that “common definition” (see: plants and whatever) is not the definition he is using here, he could easily use this word in this context without knowing that plenty of people actually do use it in this context as a label for themselves.

BUT “AROMANTIC” … NOW THAT’S INTERESTING. “Aromantic” is a very specific word with a specific definition! It is not a commonly-known English word in day-to-day life among the average person and it is not used outside of people using it as a label to identify themselves with!

ALL OF THIS TO SAY… FOR HIM TO USE BOTH WORDS? IMPLIES HE KNOWS HIS STUFF.

IF the phantom had been randomly pulling out the word “asexual” because it would be “obvious what it means in this context” without knowing that asexuality is A Fairly Common Thing, he would have just called himself asexual and nothing else. Because for people who aren’t particularly knowledgeable on the subject, they often conflate asexuality and aromanticism together!

With that being said, there is still the possibility that he isn’t aware of the communities that have been formed around those labels. That he was doing a simple equation here and putting “a-“ in front of “sexuality” and “romantic” to demonstrate that he’s “none” in both.

BUT I’M STILL INCLINED TO SAY THAT THE FACT THAT HE SPECIFICALLY SAYS “AROMANTIC” MEANS HE’S KINDA KNOWLEDGEABLE ABT IT…

And I just CANNOT get over this and the implications attached to it. The phantom knows about asexuality and aromanticism and self-identifies as aroace? THE PHANTOM KNOWS ABOUT THE SPLIT ATTRACTION MODEL? DSDFKLMLKDF;LDSL;-

Ohhh my god.

And yes, in this year 2019 these terms and communities are becoming more and more widespread, but they’re still not particularly mainstream. I know also that this fic is set in 2028, but… I’m more primed to think about when this fic was written – a few years back – when these terms and communities would have been a little bit more obscure. That’s the primary background I think of RE: the phantom actually knowing this stuff.

Also, hah, it’s so many layers because WOW… Talk about absolutely awful aroace representation in a sense right here. You get this character in your canon calling themselves aroace and they’re… the despicable, emotionless murderer & VILLAIN. Feels like it falls directly into the “bad representation” trap, HOWEVER. I do feel that the situation is much more nuanced in this case.

Like yeah, he might be an emotionless murderer, and on the surface that looks bad, BUT! He’s also a major protagonist that we have come to sympathise with at times and feel bad for… The story has followed and focused on him so much. It has shown him in so many different lights, somehow managing to make him such an extremely well-rounded character with depth. Therefore, at least to me… It doesn’t necessarily feel like bad representation at all. He’s not limited to being the bad guy. He’s so much more than that. This is nothing but another aspect to his character. And being aroace is not necessarily directly linked to his villainy. So much about him has been broken down and deconstructed. So somehow… by some miracle… In the context of this fic, the fact that the emotionless murderer is aroace could almost circle back around into being almost good representation, amazingly enough. Or… well, that’s the thing. Whether it’s “good” or “bad” representation most likely ultimately isn’t your primary concern anyway. Neither is “representation”, for that matter. What matters is a good story with good characters that make sense. So there may be no point talking about the representation angle anyway: it’s not necessarily “representation”. It’s just a character with a certain identity that happens to neutrally exist in the plot, whoever that character may be and whatever that character may happen to be.

And I also have happened to see you mention that you yourself are ace!

But I’m merely analysing the text as I would with any piece of fiction – and will continue to do so. Being aware that you’re ace yourself gives me a little bit more perspective on things, but I wouldn’t have necessarily been aware of that in different circumstances and therefore wish to look at the text as its own entity and how it comes across to me as the reader.

As for the rest of what he says…

Ohhh geez. Now it’s time to talk about something else. Another little fatal mistake I made in my approach to reading this series. We must once again return ourselves to when I read Chasing Phantoms.

Now I myself am asexual, of the repulsed kind… xD

So when I came across That phantomquill scene in Chasing Phantoms, my response was basically just, “oh GEEZ that is NOT a mental image I want thankyouverymuch nope nope nope nope.” And just – kept reading on and did my best to forget about that scene. Juuust bury it away and not think about it. :P Ignore it! Pretend it didn’t happen. And this alone created some “distance” between myself and the narrative at the time, that my instinct already was to reject something connected back to that version of the phantom.

Looks like I did a little too good of a job forgetting about it. And with it out of mind, well, I’d become sooo heavily entrenched in the series by this point and really was clinging to everything that was canon.

I read this chapter and it was just like… oh dear. Oh DEAR. That was a thing. That happened in this series!!!

It was just SHOVED in my face undeniably in this chapter, as if I could not have possibly received a nastier slap in the face with the reminder of that incident’s existence. xDDDD

My distance when reading Chasing Phantoms had just come back to bite me in the biggest way… I’d gotten so heavily attached to the canon of this series by this point. But I’d conveniently forgotten the canon that I didn’t want to acknowledge, and hadn’t fully acknowledged back then. Suddenly! I was well and truly being forced to acknowledge EVERYTHING! Ahaha.

The spy pushed away from the sink to take a few steps towards Simon. The look on his face was harder than it’d ever been before. The closest thing to fierce determination the man could muster, perhaps.

THIS must be when he gets the STUPID idea to, I DON’T KNOW, SHIPBAIT ME INTO OBLIVION? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

There was nothing heartfelt or affectionate about it.

NOTHING????? NOTHING?????????

“Awww… Busted.” The Phantom ran a hand past his mouth, but he was still grinning. It was a grin that Simon remembered from those first visits to solitary confinement. A grin that’d been coupled with purposeful jabs below the belt. “Isn’t that a damn shame?”

In spite of everything…………. I love this line. I just love the “aw busted” it’s sdjdfnkljdlnk I LOVE IT. HE IS THE WORRRRRRRST.

“Don’t be like that. I was only attempting to relive that pleasant night we had last year before it’s too late.”

Me: OH MY GOD SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP RIGHT NOW I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THIS SHUT IT DOWN.

Phantom: [opens mouth to speak]

Me:

Oh I can’t. I cannot.

Me: “I am BEGGING you to shut up. For once in your miserable life, in your whole pathetic existence… SHUT UP.”

This narrative had given me so much Suffering & Sympathetic Phantom and a whole manner of like… “Nice” Phantom and this is just…………… W O W. The narrative primed me so much on things like Sympathetic Phantom and “hahahaaaa he’s a child just look at him!” and this is just like! A harsh, merciless jolt! -OH ONE LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO RECEIVE ACTUALLY, WASN’T THINKING OF THAT WHEN I TYPED THAT BUT HAHAA…

BUT HIM SAYING THESE THINGS HAD SUCH ENTERTAINING SHOCK VALUE TOO. THE FLIPPANCY!

The Phantom stirred and pushed himself into a sitting position. He was still trembling, though at the very least that detestable grin had been washed off his face. “You’re welcome.”

Goooo to hell. Go to hell.

He briefly considered retrieving his feather from the ground as well, then thought better of himself. Five second rule aside, the fact that it was lying on the bathroom floor of a hospital instantly rendered it trash for the janitors to do away with.

SDKJBSDKJB SIMON.

“Understood.” The Phantom pushed himself to his feet, though he seemed to be having some trouble keeping his balance. Perhaps the electric currents had left a stronger impact on his body than was evident. To think this incident took place right before a jarring surgery…

HE IS SUCH A MORON. YOU IDIOT.

Perhaps this would be their final conversation, Simon realized with a sudden jolt. …No, the surgery would be harmless. It was an easy procedure. That was what the doctor had claimed.

This I had a small bit of trouble with, because something like brain surgery hardly seems like an “easy” and “harmless” procedure, but the dangers were actually touched on as I pointed out in my previous post… I just guess I would have emphasised the dangers a little more. But perhaps you did research and were able to determine that such a hypothetical procedure… would be “harmless”…?

The Phantom closed his eyes for a few seconds and Simon could see the corners of his mouth twitch. “I am… glad that we got to be partners one last time. Trust or no trust, I think that we make a favorable team.”

Look my soul had already well and truly left my body by this point of the chapter so I did not remember this line at all. I don’t really know what the hell’s it ‘sposed to mean or what’s going on. I guess it doesn’t matter. I have already been DESTROYED.

Dear Phantom,

Yours Sincerely,

-One of your biggest fans.

Sooo I was devastated. And felt deeply humiliated. And then that devastation turned to pure desperation. Even if things turned out this way… There had to still be hidden actual one-sided phantomquill nonetheless, right? I needed this. I needed this so badly, I’d staked everything on one-sided phantomquill’s reality here, something I had never truly done in any other phantom fic I’d ever read – fics that would willingly offer up phantomquill to me on a silver platter.

But every last bit of “phantomquill” that I’d been assuming and hadn’t even cared for prior to this point turned out not to be phantomquill at all…? It faded away, just when I needed it most. At which point, a second wave of devastation hit me. At the fact that not only had the chapter gone horribly, horribly awry from what my fantasies had played out in my mind, but that there had apparently never been any one-sided phantomquill. Heightening my sense of my own idiocy tenfold.

And this second wave was exacerbated by another realisation: Even if there were traces of genuine phantomquill to be found in other parts of the series, it hardly made any difference in the end. My feelings were hurt by chapter 19. Everything had been banked on that. And nothing could change how it actually played out.

And I thought it over countless times, because I usually like to pride myself on understanding and siding with authorial intent, you know? Or at least striving to most of the time. Was I truly just unbelievably stupid? What was I supposed to expect from the chapter? What about the other “phantomquill” scenes and implications that took place, dotted all throughout the series, that can be viewed through different lenses? It was clear that some baiting had been at play, but how much of it had been intentional and how much was me just an idiot reading the text incorrectly? (The fact that you were gunning for it in the beginning makes it seem like such a deep-rooted, ridiculously long-running con-job… my goodness… Even if it wasn’t intended to be a con from the start… That means the audience… Can you really say the audience is not being conned way back in Chasing Phantoms? How else were they supposed to interpret the phantom’s characterisation back then…?! How were they supposed to know…! And if actual phantomquill had been what you intended at the time of writing it…!) Oh I was ruined and driven into doubting myself so much and KICKING myself over this.

There was… No justice in any of this, it seemed. And I could not even feel “righteous” in any way. I just felt pathetic.

Because I’d only been asking for something one-sided… I’d wanted to see my favourite character suffer even more. It’s not the “normal” “I just want character to be happy” type angle. So it felt like such a weird thing to beg for. But beeeeeg for it I did anyway, huh.

I just! Wanted! To see some more Vulnerable Phantom! Maybe with just a little bit of genuine emotions leaking through! What would have made it so wonderful… Is that it takes place JUST before the surgery! Therefore it would demonstrate that even with his severely limited emotional state! He still…! THAT’S WHAT I WANTED OK IS THAT SO WRONG?!

No it isn’t and meet me out back I’ve got sources come prepared I’ll present my ten page essay on why you wrote your own fic wrong and sjsdjsdkj

^Me, in all-out confrontation & idiot mode, arguing at you over this, well and truly willing to go down with this one-sided ship

And when some of the devastation subsided, I went into Bitter Mode. Ohhhhhhh the saltiness. Ohhhhhhh I got salty, veeeeery salty. STILL not entirely sure if I’m done being salty. Or will ever be done being salty & bitter over this, played up intentionally to my friend to reap all of its comedic potential. :P I’d been burrrrrrrrrned.

So there you have it. Since you like irony so damn much…

I took the “phantomquill” in this series for granted at first. “Phantomquill” that I later practically begged for.

I didn’t care a whole lot for the initial scene where the phantom lets himself fall from that window in Chasing Phantoms (of course, I later realised how good it was on its own). A scene that was directly tied to and paralleled one of the extreme heights of my enjoyment in Vanquishing Mirages, also helping me to gain a far deeper appreciation of said earlier scene.

And the one time where I got super invested in phantomquill and wanted it, really wanted it, was with one of the very few fics that would flatly refuse to provide it.

Oh wait, one more thing too. The aro ace thing. Lol if he was agender too in this, he’d be triple-A hahaha

That was another thing when I came across the phantomquill in Chasing Phantoms initially. I was just like, “mmmm, no, nah. If anything, going by the “canon” of the game, if you absolutely had to put a label on the phantom, he’d be aro ace.”

Well. Turns out…

And, under just about any other circumstance, it would make me pleased to see the phantom call himself aro ace, and yet… The circumstances couldn’t be more… :T

So when it finally sunk in that, yea he is?

I was just like…

“No… no no no no no no… This is not happening… This cannot be happening…! MY OWN LOGIC IS BEING USED AGAINST MEEEEEE……………………”

: (

But yes. The ironies that can be listed of this situation do go on and on.

That was it. The last Simon saw or heard of the entity known as the Phantom.

Me, who in spite of everything, actually does still love the phantom very much and does not want to see him now promptly vanish from this really well-written series in his really well-written form, and has noooo idea how this is gonna go and what the result of this surgery is gonna be and is therefore very nervous about how “the phantom” will transform after this point:

If the doctors were successful, an intangible spirit would take the form of a true human, rather like a phoenix being reborn from its own ashes.

“I’ve literally just been brutally left in the dust I am hardly in any state to appreciate the beauty of sentences like this one. GO AHEAD, SHOW ME YOUR PRETTY PROSE, BUT IT’S A LITTLE LATE NOW ISN’T IT. IT WON’T WORRRRRRK I’M TOO BUSY HAVING BEEN SO THOROUGHLY OWNED BY A BAIT AND SWITCH THAT I’M LYING ON THE GROUND IN TINY PIECES”

To prove once and for all whether or not there was a true identity hidden inside him.

That’s nice but I literally just could not bring myself to care anymore. I was done. The fic ended in the last chapter. It was finished. “My version’s canon to me now.” That’s one way I could try to cope and pretend my heart & dignity can remain intact. Whatever is going on now it’s just an interesting au. My little self-indulgent version is what obviously happened.

This fic could do whatever the hell it wanted because nothing about it mattered anymore, I didn’t care, it’d lost me. I pettily decided at the time that Anything after Chapter 18 is the Wrong Timeline so It’s all meaningless as far as I was concerned!

Fulbright… Was he truly so angry that he would miss the moment of the Phantom’s awakening?

It’s kinda funny because in a sense, I was Bobby at this point of the chapter. Absent : ) Yeah, ok, I was reading on through my pain… But I was very. Emotionally absent, disconnected, or whatever you’d like to call it. In Chasing Phantoms I wasn’t particularly invested because of all the doubts I’d had. And here, my investment in however the series would continue dropped DRAMATICALLY because I’d been too invested in it. It was just like… “Ok. Might as well see whatever the hell happens. But nothing in this series can ever truly make me happy again as it did before. The line’s been crossed. Sayonara.”

…Yeah, rather bold words to utter just prior to Lifting Spirits.

But you baked the most perfect, beautiful and tantalising-looking phantomquill cake to me… and then you just… IMMEDIATELY destroyed it. You took a hammer to that cake. Threw it in the bin, leaving me desperately, brokenly reaching for the icing still smeared messily on the table, and when I did, YOU SLAPPED MY HAND AWAY. No siree I could not even have some of that icing. Ya blew it. I was done. UNFORGIVABLE. Line crossed. Your rights to the work were forfeit as far as I was concerned. It was all mine now.

Was he consulting with his trusted therapist, perhaps?

HOHOOH what if he did though. I can’t remember if that gets confirmed either way. PFFF WELL YOU CAN ADD THIS MESS TO THE LIST OF THINGS BENNY MIGHT KNOW ABOUT THEN???? HOW… INTERESTING!

Ok but also:

I SWEAR TO GOOOOOOOD THIS LINE ACTUALLY MADE ME SO? CONFUSED AND BORDERLINE, IF NOT OUTRIGHT SUSPICIOUS ON FIRST READ BECAUSE LIKE.

Okay, there was another much more direct Benny reference earlier this same fic. He’s actually NAMEDROPPED. I didn’t point it out at the time because I didn’t want to be too tedious about it and waited until the next reference like this, which I figured there would be, so that I could comment on MY THOUGHTS.

So waaay back earlier in the fic, when Benny actually gets namedropped for the first time:

What sort of advice would his therapist offer? He wished he could call the man and explain his situation, because Benny always had just the right answer to any problem.

Me at the time: wow, even the offscreen therapist gets a name? What a series! Is this series fleshed out or what?!

But even back then.

There’d just been. Such a handful of references to this guy.

Like, when the therapist first started being referenced it was all like “oh I’m so glad Bobby’s getting the counselling and help that he needs”.

And then he just

Kept being referenced after that

And with each iteration I just got a tiny bit more and more like

“O-okay…? We know Bobby is getting help… We are aware of it. And that’s great. I’m really glad. Not sure why the therapist matters though… weird focus on the therapist since it’s Bobby’s recovery that is paramount here, not the therapist helping him. Just not relevant.”

Like I was deeply impressed that such an unimportant character got named, yet at the same time it was like. Aaaaalright. He’s really not warranting this much focus. But okay then.

And now it’s Blackquill bringing him up, not Bobby. And SURE I guess the mention KINDA makes sense from him but the focus felt so fishy to me… “TRUSTED therapist”… why the emphasis on how great this guy supposedly is. C’mooon. It REALLY made me go HMMMM. I was just like… who cares though. There’s literally no reason to bring the therapist up he’s not connected to any of this or the plot at ALLL… He serves ONE purpose and that is to be the unseen background force helping Bobby to work through his issues. That’s it!

Vanquishing Mirages, Chapter 20

Oh… This chapter… is so good. Wow… Wow. Not much else I can say rn.

He’d never appreciated her. Now it was too late.

Simon saw no need to keep the truth from him. This plan had been the Phantom’s, not his own. He’d merely been roped into it as an unwilling accomplice, yet he refused to cover the spy’s tracks.

Ffffffffffffff

Yeah I was gonna go off about “idiot spy” again at this point but I’ve tired myself out from all the salt I’ve overloaded into this post so that my past pain can serve at least some kind of fun… But god. God. The phantom’s plan was PAPER thin just, ridiculously flimsy, yeah sure he came up with it on the fly whatever I guess but it like. Depends on Blackquill playing along and ffffffffffffff. Alright I guess maybe he figured Simon would play along if Simon was interested in shielding Bobby from grief as the phantom explained was his intent but god. Ghhhhhh. It just feels like insult to injury too cause he has this Grand Plan to protect Bobby which immediately proceeds to fail.

And it was enough to fuel his loathing further. He shook his head so violently that it made him dizzy, yet he managed to stop himself from raising his voice again. Shouting wouldn’t make his point any clearer. Instead, he stepped forward and crouched down before Fulbright’s chair. He grabbed the man’s nearest hand with both of his own. He was lousy with words and he knew that much, but he needed to at least try to communicate his thoughts- his feelings- before this misunderstanding was allowed to spread any more. “Do you truly not remember what I’ve told you from the day I first met you?” he demanded, his tone of voice more fierce than he’d intended but lacking in volume nonetheless. “You are nothing like the man who played the part of my chaperone. I would sooner take my own life than return to those days. You, on the other hand, give me another reason to live. I can tell the difference between the two of you and that makes all the difference in the world.”

[…]

“I love you, Bobby Fulbright, not the fallacy that pretended to be you. However, if you dare to call my feelings into question again, I will not hesitate to tear you to shreds myself.”

This is a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming for Blackbright right here. This is SOO good. I really admired and appreciated this shining Blackbright moment even amidst the whirl of everything else I was busy reacting to.

And… On that uplifting note, I’ll finish this otherwise ridiculously salty mess of a post. XD I’ll tackle the rest of this chapter & more beyond next time. This is already waaaaay too long anyway. But I knew that this post would inevitably be a massive one, and I had to essentially say Stuff You to the very notion of any self-imposed word-limits.

#riskiest post yet?#I've been kinda dreading this #AND Y E T #Oh I forgot to add 'long post' to help avoid clogging peoples dashboards if the readmore fails so:#long post

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infinity-trials · 6 years

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The Name Game

AN (Author’s Note): This is a prequel story of the Coven. This one-shot is based on their High School years, while the main plot takes place in college. It’s the best way I figured out how to introduce their personalities and their relationships with one another. And maybe a few quirks along the way.

Characters: Hiromi Soule, Ronin Soule, Arcadia Zaal, Carmine Wallace, Destry Warde, Errol Krane, Phoenix Madsen, Larkyn Bruvold

________________________________________________________________

Hiromi stood impatiently about ten feet outside of their classroom, impatiently waiting for Errol to arrive. The second bell rang about a minute ago, signalling that they were both already late to class. It didn’t really matter to Hiromi at the time, Advanced Literature was an elective. Hiromi could afford being late just this once.

Especially for Carmine.

Hiromi craned their neck over the crowd of kids that were setting up surprise birthday balloons for their friend, searching for their darker skinned friend. Down the hall, Errol made small but quick movements towards them. Which, in another situation, would be quite humorous to watch considering Errol’s stature. He stood at six foot four, with an extreme muscular built. His long, dark dreadlocks at chest length flowing behind him.

He looked over at Hiromi, a friendly, yet awkward smile gracing his features. Finally arriving at Hiromi’s side, he began with saying, “Please don’t shoot the messenger.”

Hiromi’s eyes widened in slight panic, “Is Carmine okay?”

“Oh yes!” Errol facepalmed, realizing how awful that started out as. “He’s fine, he just said he’s gonna be late.”

Hiromi rolled their dark brown eyes, taking a deep breath. Carmine’s okay. They told themselves, attempting to calm down their racing heartbeat. “It would’ve been nice to know before school started.”

Errol shrugged playfully, wrapping a huge arm around their shoulders. Simultaneously brushing Hiromi’s long, black hair with his hands in an attempt to soothe them as they approached their shared class.

If this was a normal morning, the two would be able to charm Mrs. Robinson into understanding why they were late. If it was a normal day, it wouldn’t matter nearly as much because Mrs. Robinson knows about Carmine’s habits, and the fact that he makes up for it with his creative insights. But today, of course, their class had to have had a substitute.

Hiromi and Errol walked into the stiff, and silent room. The substitute, a wrinkly old man that couldn’t have been taller than five eight, and looks like he had been balding since high school, stood at the front of the classroom. He scribbled his name down on the white board, Mr. Mercer.

“Uh, hello there.” Hiromi shifted uncomfortably in the doorway. “My name’s-”

Mr. Mercer interrupted Hiromi by shushing them. “Sit. I don’t appreciate people being late to my class.”

Errol stepped up, a kind smile despite the tough situation on his face. “We apologize severely Sir. But, if we could just point out our names on the attendance list, the morning will go much smoother.”

Mr. Mercer sneered, “Are you suggesting that I am illiterate, boy?”

Errol’s eyebrows arched, “No of course not!”

“Sit.” Mr. Mercer snapped, more sternly now. Errol, coming from a more military family, couldn’t defy an order. He shuffled towards an open seat, with Hiromi following at his heels. “Now, let’s get on with attendance.”

He carried on through the first couple students, then tilted his head at the first name he came across on the list. The platinum blonde boy, who had been hiding his handheld device underneath his desk began cringing. His crystal blue eyes looked up for the first time since he stepped foot into class.

“Larkine Bruvold.” Mr. Mercer called.

Larkyn scoffed, “Did you even try there? Because this is English, let’s go back to Grade One and sound it out. Lark-in Broo-vold.”

Mr. Mercer seemed shocked by Larkyn’s sudden outburst. He was genuinely dazed by him. He visibly shook the outburst off and continued on with the attendance. Larkyn gave the class a cocky smirk before sinking back down into his seat to play Legend Of Zelda.

Continuing on, Mr. Mercer called out a couple more names, and marked the absent ones down. Then furrowed his eyebrows down at the next name, “Errawl Krane.”

Errol gave a thin lipped smile, “Not exactly. It’s Errol, like arrow except with an L at the end.”

Mr. Mercer nodded timidly, and kept trudging through. For at least ten names, everything went off smoothly. Including, “Phoenix Madsen.”

“Sup.” Phoenix replied, gleefully. She had tanned skin, that contrasted her golden blonde, shoulder length hair. Her light brown eyes shone in the bright lights. But her confidence was instantly squashed as her friends narrowed their eyes at her.

“What’s it like having a name you can find on keychains?” Hiromi quipped, faking interest.

Phoenix playfully flipped her off as Mr. Mercer continued. Once he reached a certain name down the list, he audibly sighed. Rubbing the top of his head, he began digging into the depths of his brain to pull a pronunciation out of his many years in the school district. “Miss Soule.”

“Amazing.” Hiromi snickered. “It's Hiromi, like hero-me.”

“Thank you.” He sighed in relief, before getting to the name right below it. “Ronan Soule.”

Hiromi’s older brother, Ronin sighed lightly. He lifted his head off of his desk, stretching as if he had just woken up. The two siblings’ resemblance was uncanny. Same hair color, same eye color, similar faces. Ronin’s head sides were shaved, but the top was tied back in a bun. “Close enough, here.”

At this point, the close group of friends were simultaneously getting headaches. Wanting this just to end, but they each knew the worst was yet to come.

Mr. Mercer nodded, saying confidently, “Carmen Wallace.”

Before anyone could respond, someone cleared their throat from the doorway. There Carmine stood, leaning against the door frame in grey skinny jeans and a navy blue hoodie. His dark brown hair, a mess, and blocking any light from reaching his forehead. What you couldn’t see from beneath the sunglasses were his light green eyes, that probably had dark circles underneath them.

“It’s Carmine. Like driving a car through a mine.” Carmine interrupted flatly.

Mr. Mercer stood up from behind the desk, firmly spreading his hands out on the flat surface. “Mr. Wallace, you are late.”

“Yeah.” Carmine responded, taking a sip of coffee before sitting in an empty seat next to Hiromi. “In my mind, I still had enough time to get Starbucks.”

Ronin’s voice spoke over the room, in a mature tone, “Be happy he even showed up at all. Typically he’s bent over a toilet after a weekend out.”

“It’s called having fun.” Carmine snapped back. “You should try it sometime.”

“It’s called having a problem.” Ronin responded, sternly.

“It’s called paying attention in class gentlemen.” Mr. Mercer interrupted. “You can continue this conversation, on your own time.” He sat back down, peering at the last couple names. “Destri Warde?”

Destry, a light brown haired girl timidly put her hand up. Her deep blue eyes were the definition of gentle as she attempted to stay out of the crossfire her friends had put themselves in. She was better at staying out of the spotlight, not wanting to be noticed for her reputation that had been built over the past few months, or her weight. “It’s pronounced Des-tree. But it’s okay, you tried.”

After this rollercoaster of a class, Mr. Mercer was more than happy to have a response so polite. He didn’t acknowledge it with anything more than a smile, then carried on to the last name. His face fell immediately, anger hidden behind his eyes. “Arcadia Zaal.”

From the far back of the room, a hand lifted slowly. By far the most timid out of the rest, Arcadia shook nervously. Hiromi, being her closest friend, knew how she used look compared to how she was now. Her once red hair dyed blonde, and her freckles covered to the best of her ability using make-up. All these small insecurities sticking out like a sore thumb.

Mr. Mercer marked Arcadia down as here, then slammed the book shut. He slowly raised from his seat, and began to walk up and down between the desks as he spoke, “Now that attendance is all said and done, I have a special lesson planned for today. Mrs. Robinson wanted you to work on your essay outlines on Shakespeare’s plays, but I wanted to reach out to the younger generations about more current events. The Witch Trials for example.”

Hiromi, against their better judgement, spoke up. Sensing that he was about to target a student they were particularly fond of. “We aren’t allowed to discuss our political opinions in the class. It causes heated debates, and anarchy among students and staff.”

“It’s all over the news dear, it’s all anybody talks about.” Mr. Mercer responded. “What about your opinions, Miss Zaal?”

Hiromi stood from their seat and began to approach their substitute. “Sir, this is inappropriate.”

Mr. Mercer ignored Hiromi, his attention completely focused on Arcadia, “You ever think that your parents are the leaders in one if the greatest mass genocides in history?”

Arcadia’s emerald eyes went wide, tears beginning to form, “E-Excuse me?”

Mr. Mercer gripped the edges of Arcadia’s desk, towering over the shivering girl, “They are leading the charge in a campaign, where thousands are being murdered each year. Have you not considered that?”

Arcadia’s tears began falling, and all she could was respond logically, “Those numbers are overestimated.”

Hiromi, seeing the tears in Arcadia’s eyes, attempted to pull Mr. Mercer lightly away from the desk. But, due to their power, it shoved him back into the student’s chair sitting in front of Arcadia. They placed both hands on each of the teacher’s shoulders, connecting eye contact.

In the most threatening voice Hiromi could muster, they growled, “Listen here. You can’t do this. All of you teachers feel like you can abuse your power and that no consequences will come from it. Well, it's time for a reality check. I am your consequence, Mr. Mercer.”

Mr. Mercer was able to shake free of their tight grip. However, when he attempted to speak, his voice caught in his throat. From the outside perspective, it seemed that he was too intimidated to speak up.

Carmine, who among the rest of the class, watched the entire confrontation, decided to do something about it. He knew if Hiromi continued, they’d expose themselves as a witch. He acted on instinct, hopping out of his seat, running into the situation, and clocking Mr. Mercer right across the jaw.

Down Mr. Mercer went, as Errol and Ronin grabbed Carmine by the arms to hold him back. Hiromi dropped to her knees next to Arcadia in an attempt to calm her down. Phoenix and Larkyn, well, they were being less than useful. Being the hype men for their friends in the altercation. While, Destry and Errol ran out of the classroom to go get a school supervisor, the classroom fell silent.

~*~

Outside of the Principal’s Office, there were two very different scene taking place. One, was a birthday celebration being held by a group of friends. The other, six students that were anxiously waiting for Carmine and Arcadia to be released. Hiromi was attempting to stay calm, Not in public. You can’t freak out like that. But, it was two of their most important people in there. Being ridiculed, being interrogated for doing nothing wrong.

And for the love of God don’t call their parents.

Interrupting Hiromi’s train of thought was their two friends exiting the office, one of Carmine’s arms slung over Arcadia’s shoulders.

Each member got to their feet, but Destry was the first one to speak, “How much shit are we in?”

Carmine swayed his head back and forth, a smirk slowly forming. “None.”

Ronin, radiating anger throughout his body, responded through gritted teeth, “Bullshit.”

“No, it’s true.” Arcadia reassured. “I mean, Carmine’s testimony alone was hardly enough to back it up. But Mr. Mercer admitted it, and went on this whole rant that really isn’t important. But it convinced Principal Truett enough to let us go with a warning.”

Phoenix couldn’t help but bust out laughing, attempting to speak through her joy, “Are they fucking idiots? Or are we just the luckiest bitches alive?”

Destry smiled at her best friend endearingly, “I’d definitely say the latter. Considering if they heard you speak like that, they’d be kicking our asses out of here.”

Larkyn nodded, mirroring Destry’s expression, “Without a doubt.”

Ronin pinched the bridge of his nose, and massaging his neck. “This is not the point. What were you thinking in there Carmine?!”

Carmine rolled his eyes, detaching from Arcadia and pushing his way past the group, towards the doors. Hiromi, used to being the buffer between Carmine and their brother, began to follow him. Errol wasn’t far behind before Carmine snapped his attention back towards Ronin, “I wouldn’t have had to step in if it hadn’t been for Mi Mi, so don’t you dare lecture me Ronin.” He turned back and walked out of the school doors.

“Fine.” Ronin brushed off, all but chasing Carmine out of the school. “Let’s talk about your attendance, your grades, literally every other responsibility you’ve given up for drinking.”

“Ronin!” Errol snapped, not in an angry tone, but more in shock and hurt.

Carmine exhaled deeply before responding, “Why are you always trying to fix other people’s problems Ronin?! You got enough shit that you refuse to deal with in your own life!”

“We’re not talking about me.” Ronin defended, attempting to deflect.

“Then don’t lecture me!” Carmine yelled one last time (for today anyways). “You’re not my Dad, it shouldn’t fucking matter to you what I do with my life.”

“I helped save your life!” Ronin countered. “Without the blessing ceremony, you’d be dead by now! I want to make sure it wasn’t wasted.”

Carmine scoffed, “Maybe, you should’ve just let me die if I was going to cause you this much shit. It wouldn’t be half as painful.”

Ronin’s hard exterior went soft for a just moment, if Hiromi had blinked, they would’ve missed it. Before he could respond, there was were screams coming from within the school. The Coven’s attention snapped, and they all ran back in.

On the floor of the hallways, the birthday girl was being dragged by a seemingly invisible force. She was flipped onto her back, and her stomach was exposed to show paws making their way from the inside out. I looked around and noticed the balloons, all saying the number 17.

This girl is a witch, and she never got her blessing ceremony.

The girl began to seize as all of the students began to watch on in horror. The claws finally broke skin, and effectively gutted her. A pale, light blue spirit of a wolf began slowly making its way out of the girls mouth. And just as it left, the poor unsuspecting witch took her final breath.

The spirit swooped around, but stalked towards Carmine's face then dissipated just as it reached him. The secretaries dialed 911, as the principal came over the speaker calling, "Code Green. Code Green. Code Green." Which is the code that is used when it has been discovered that a form of magic is taking place.

People fled to the nearest exit, some honestly believing that witchcraft was contagious. Others thinking that this was just a good excuse to get out of class for the rest of the day. Students pushed past the Coven, as the group of friends just stood in shock.

As the halls seemed mostly empty, Ronin turned to Carmine for one last word, "That's what happens when a witch doesn't receive a blessing ceremony. What do you think is more painful? That, or being called out on your shit Carmine?"

Carmine scoffed, and made his way towards the classroom where they held book club. The rest followed, hoping not to get caught. Phoenix relaxed and dispersed her energy in order for uthem to make our way undetected. Her cat totem has pulled through for the Coven in many ways over the years.

The Coven reached the classroom without any interferences, and locked the door. Ronin approached the curtain hanging in the corner, meant for design purposes and knocked in a specific way. Many of the humans would think nothing of it. Not until Ronin lifted the curtain and revealed a portal to the bunker where witches are safe. A place that Mi-na, Ronin and Hiromi's grandmother who is also the Shaman of the Coven, made sure to never be found by harmful hunters.

Each of them filed in, one by one, Ronin sealed the door behind as to not expose anyone. Mi-na looked up from her desk, sadness in her eyes already understanding the circumstances. Ronin immediately went to her arms, and the teens all exchanged embraces in their own special ways. Some with longing glances (Carmine and Hiromi for example), others with holding each other so tight you might believe one of them was suffocating (Phoenix and Destry, only).

"We can't save everyone my children." Mi-na broke the silence, with a calming and nurturing tone.

"Yeah well," Carmine grumbled, hands shoved in his pockets, "We can certainly die trying."

#hiromi #ronin #arcadia #carmine #errol #phoenix #destry #larkyn #coven #still don't have a name for this series #oops #gender? witchcraft #coven dad trademark #books are better than pussy #functioning a(lcoholic)dult #coven mom trademark #short fuse #somebody help her please?#ga(y)mer

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manondemissy · 6 years

Note

7 ans 8

questions for canon muses / accepting @phlipshea

7. For movie or TV muses, what is your muse’s favorite scene? Why? Can you show a screenshot?

it’s one of the last scenes in episode 13 where manon pulls lucas aside and tells him that iconic line ‘ you are not alone ‘ ( always referencing o helga natt no matter what blog I’m on i guess ??? sdkndaksj ) but I really loved this and it sounds bias because I write isak but I love this because sometimes, when you’re in a dark place of loneliness all it takes is having one friend and it was important for Lucas to have Manon as a friend, because he really didn’t have anyone & I really wanted this friendship to happen with noora and isak , but it never went in depth as skam fr. Which is fine, but Manon telling Lucas this was important for both of them and it set their friendship in Lucas’ season 3 .

8. For movie or TV muses, what is a scene with your muse that you hate? Why? Can you show a screenshot?

I can’t show a screenshot because I hate the episode so much and Charles’ brother doesn’t deserve any more attention than he was given, but the ending of episode 8, ep 9 and 10. specifically the ending of ep 8 ( anyone who’s watched og skam knows this part of the season is actually the fucking worst )

manon goes to see charles and confess her feelings but runs into the trash bin ‘ charles’ brother ‘ who’s throwing a party and plants believable lies in her head about charles being a playboy who uses girls like her and moves onto the next ( which in manon’s defense it’s easy for her to believe this because she wasn’t exactly secure in her relationship as well as believing that someone could love her , she’s also caught Charles lying about his brother which in retrospect was , not good but also ? because Charles didn’t want Manon around him but because of that, Manon is like hmmmm ) so manon is upset, drinks until she blacks out ( manon also never drinks so ) and wakes up in bed nude next to the trash bin. She panics, and leaves searching up ‘ how to know if you’ve had non consensual sex ‘ and completely spirals down. She shows signs of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and isolation through the 3 eps. she messages the trash bin trying to get answers, but then he sends her a nude photo of herself, which makes everything worse ( as you can imagine ) as she’s trying to get info, he’s ridiculing her , taking forever to answer her and it’s stupid bullshit what he puts her through.( literally at one part he says ‘ i would advise you not to annoy the guy who has a nude photo of you ‘ ) and she’s stressing out because she’s like ‘ i cheated on charles ‘ ‘ i don’t want anyone to know about this ‘ ‘ i was taken advantage of ‘ she spent days thinking she and the trash bin engaged in non consensual sex. manon confesses to the girls what happened, and they take it to a law office or something and she does end up reporting charles’ brother for multiple charges, and he gets what he deserves, and throws a pint in his face. she talks to a girl who was at the party and finds out nothing happened between them, but still it was emotional blackmail, IT WAS BLACKMAIL, I hate it.

#phlipshea #( --- my parents didn’t want kids .. not really ➺ answered. )#drinking /#// idk what else to tag this as so if there needs to be more let me know #// but literally i hated those eps so much

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cyjprojectarchive · 7 years

Text

bulletproof | jinyoung

prompt: “I’m bulletproof... but please don’t shoot me.” group: GOT7 pairing: park jinyoung, you genre: slight angst, comfort, fluff words: 1909 note: dedicated to my friend who goes by @_jjproject on twitter as jinyoung is one of her main biases! i reckon she’s taking her finals so this is a lil gift from me to her after doing such hard work!!

You have never felt love like Jinyoung’s.

You feel it in his touch–even the slightest graze of his fingertips on your lips after he kisses them with admiration from the conversation you both had seconds prior. He knows how much you love his words and how reading a lot has broadened his perspective of the world; you just want to be the first person to hear those new, emerging thoughts of his.

Even still, he appreciates your responses as well as your own take on things just as much, or even more. Because of this, he can’t help but let his lips softly connect with yours as if it wasn’t enough that his ears have listened to the inner workings of your mind. He always wants more of you.

You see it in his eyes. He knows how much you love pointing out the cat whiskers he possesses whenever his eyes crinkle from happiness. You don’t know that he does it more often than normal when he’s around you. Sometimes he tries to force it just to elicit the usual teasing reaction from you, but just seeing the bright hues staring back at him makes it easier to do it on purpose.

You hear it in his laugh. He doesn’t just laugh at any joke, but he sure seems to enjoy your comedic skills every time you show it to him. You think he’s only running out of breath from enjoying the corny joke you found in a book one day just to support you, but really, he finds your efforts in taking off the exhaustion from his body endearing.

You didn’t think it was possible for you to feel such a certain kind of love; to even know and experience it firsthand is still overwhelming to you. For a while, your heart was kept hidden in the very depths of your body, refusing to let anybody touch it and just have it be broken once more. You have given everything to that person who you foolishly thought was doing the same for you. You believed the love you shared was passionate, indestructible, unwavering.

It was, on your side. Yet, you held onto the relationship with all the strength left within you after being exposed to such unfaithfulness on the other end. You didn’t want to accept it at first, telling yourself that it was all just a big prank and truly, you were loved and only you were cherished. Of course you were wrong.

Love might as well have been non-existent in the life you started again after moving on from the two-year relationship you had. Maybe it was possible for others, you thought, to love and be loved. But for you, you weren’t taking any more chances in meeting someone and falling and then loving them just to be void of your emotions for the second time.

Not anymore.

Until you met Park Jinyoung.

“Hey.”

Your mind wanders back to the present, and you see soft, glinting eyes trying to make contact with yours, communicating its worry for your sudden unconscious state of mind. You smile sheepishly and lean to give the man before you a quick, reassuring peck on his parted lips. The back of your head meets the plush of the pillow resting on the bed and the side of your face reintroduces itself at the crook of Jinyoung’s neck. His hand supporting his head so he was hovering above your relaxed figure, he gives you another concerned look before asking, with a gentle tone to his voice, “What are you thinking of?”

Hand reaches out to his free one, they intertwine in an instant. They rest on his hip and as his thumb smoothes over the back of your hand, you sigh with ease. “Nothing much. I’m just thinking how amazing this moment is- for the both of us,” you inform him, squeezing his hand for good measure. “You on a very rare day off, and me, just here,” you add playfully.

Chuckling at your addendum, he settles on the other end of the pillow and so you two are finally facing each other equally, his hand now entangling itself in the locks of your hair. “Yes. You and me, here. The other boys, out,” he says in English. You are taken by surprise and you grin at his attempt.

You and him do not speak for a while, and it was more than okay. You do not grow tired of grasping every feature on his face, taking it all in for yourself. Just the reminder of Jinyoung being yours, and you his, continues to send the most inexplicable sensation rushing through your body. This beautiful creation of a man who met you and was willing to find the key to the chains your heart was trapped in.

Not wanting to at first, you hesitated and grew cold towards him. Sure, you admitted to yourself he was gorgeous and maybe a fling wouldn’t hurt; just to feel the satisfaction of someone else’s heat spreading all over your body. But no, you didn’t allow yourself to even be a part of such a thing that caused you heart break in the first place.

But Jinyoung was more than persistent, and he waited and waited until you got comfortable enough to tell him stories of your past- starting from what you ate for lunch yesterday to the person who made you seal your feelings into a box and toss it away to be difficult enough for someone just trying to find.

Jinyoung wasn’t just trying. He had fallen in love with you, hard, and he wasn’t going to let you go before you gave him a chance to express that love.

And you know you yearned for love- any type of love, even. And eventually, you began to open up.

And the type of love Jinyoung offered was not of something you were familiar with. But you didn’t let it go to waste because goddamn, does this man love you good.

“You keep spacing out, jagiya, are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you want to take a nap?” His calming voice brings you back to present time, and you feel yourself blush from getting caught once again.

Still, you think of an excuse. “I’m fine, Jinyoung. And I thought we were purposefully looking at each other lovingly?” You tease him. He rolls his eyes, confirming the fact that you were okay and back to normal, and then looks at you and say, “No, you were the only one giving me lovey-dovey looks. I was just observing you.”

“Like Jinyoung doesn’t show affection that way,” you think out loud, “so Jinyoung never stares at me with a lovestruck expression whenever I pretend to sleep.”

He feigns offense and gasps at your revelation. You pull up the covers to snicker behind them, but Jinyoung catches you with the hand that has been playing with your hair and immediately after, he has you pinned down on the bed, legs on either side of your waist.

You gulp at the sudden change of mood in the room, but you aren’t going to complain soon enough.

“What’s that? Are you questioning my toughness and manliness by accusing me of having lovestruck expressions?” He demands teasingly, keeping both of your hands tied with his but in a gentle and caring manner.

“Just because you show aegyo to your girlfriend doesn’t mean you’re not both of those things,” you counter, the blush creeping its way to your ears as you feel the intensifying tension transpiring from the position you both were on. “I think you can be cute and sexy and tough all at the same time, jagi,” you assure him with a wink.

A tiny smirk appears on his face as he inches closer to you, his breath fanning your cheeks. “And I think my girl is cute, sexy and tough as well,” he whispers, the tip of his tongue teasingly touching your cupid’s bow. He pushes it back and smirks all the way, retreating from the invasion of your personal space. You whine under your breath, the abruptness leaving you wanting for more. Jinyoung knows that, and you know that, and now it was only a matter of who gives up the serious facade first.

Giving him the sultriest, most seductive stare you can, you hope he gives up first this time. It was always you who couldn’t take Jinyoung teasing you with his lip bite and tongue peeking in and out. He gives you a mean stare for a few seconds before finally landing his lips onto yours completely this time. He releases your hands so he could grab onto your waist and keep you in place. Now that you didn’t know what to do with your hands, you slowly make its way on his hair, tugging on a few strands to signal him going deeper into your mouth, and your body.

As much as you thoroughly enjoy your quiet time with Jinyoung, heated make out sessions with him come second place.

Moments like what you just shared never seem enough for the both of you, and so you remain in the same position, chests breathing rhythmically and breaths heaving in the same intervals. He places soft kisses on your cheek every so often, and your hand is safely nestled in the mess of Jinyoung’s bed head.

“I thought you just wanted to relax,” you comment, your voice still out of breath from the previous encounter. Jinyoung raises his head and narrows his eyes. “Hmm, who started it?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not excused.”

You share a laugh, and once again, a look. You both always find yourselves just taking in each other’s presence for god knows how long sometimes.

“Thank you,” he tells you. You give him a questioning look. “For…?”

“For everything,” he explains. “Thank you for letting me in and giving me a chance to prove to you–” a hand extending to caress the side of your face, “– that I can love you like no one has before.”

You bite your lip to contain the bubbling happiness making its way out of you. You had relayed to him your past troubles around love as to make him understand your upfront rudeness towards his motives of asking you out. You wanted him to realize that you weren’t always so refusing of love, you just gave too much and received too little than deserved. You didn’t think anyone would be any different.

The hardshell you created for yourself was necessary for you to survive the world without being torn apart again. The bulletproof vest you had worn was your protection from the hurt you have had enough of.

“You know I’m bulletproof,” you remind him, taking him back to the days of you exposing your heartbreak and how you independently stood up for yourself ever since, “but please don’t shoot me, Jinyoung,” you finish, both of you aware that as soon as you accepted Jinyoung’s love, you started disassociating yourself from the cold and mysterious exterior you held up. And Jinyoung didn’t want to take that for granted.

“I’ll be your bulletproof vest,” he promises, “Let me protect you from the bad things in this world, and provide you with all the love I have and all the love I can get.”

You smile, because you know this time, you can trust someone. This time, you trust Jinyoung.

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