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gettingbyy · 3 months

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6/24/2024 - 6/25/2024

this post is for mouse, but you can read it, too, if you want.

a triple shot espresso drink was involved when i started this and it shows.

i was just reading through my older posts - i must be some kind of fortune-telling witch, cos i mentioned the water heater going bad soon in february (which it did, in april) and i worried about void baby and ori's contentious relationship only getting worse, which it did and continues to do. maybe i'm a disaster witch.

since we've talking more regularly i don't have as much for general life updates, but i do have a few things i need to muse on. you can skip this one if you want, it might get a little wild. will send you a name abbreviation guide in discord with the post link. /|\ ^._.^ /|\

i just created a channel for our blog and video links if you're interested. it may not be necessary so let me know your thoughts xD i just figured this way they wouldn't get lost in our general chat. but also you email me video links so... i dunno xD

first,

i discovered i can control my phone's spotify through my work laptop now. i think i was always supposed to be able to do that, but it always broke everything before. this is good.

second,

this one is risky cos he might be reading this but yolo i want to get it out there. i think i told you i blocked C? a little while ago, maybe a month. it's been...like honestly relieving in a lot of ways. i'll tell you more about the history when A and i first got together, and right after we broke up, but suffice to say for more recent times, i got tired of the sex pest-y vibes and unwanted horniness. it was a classic case of manic pixie dream girl, too, and repeated misgendering. the misgendering part is kinda funny cos it started out very "respectful" when i first told him i'm enby, and then slowly over time he stopped checking in and started using wrong pronouns and super gendered language. after the 3rd or 4th she/her i stopped correcting and just got tired. this one has been an interesting look into the human psyche in some ways for me, and toxic ally behaviors. (i hate the word behaviors, it feels so corporate and pseudo-psychological now. i can expand on that if you want. i'd love to research how corporations are using therapy-speak and psychological terms to manipulate their employees, but also that might make me angry. i could write a dissertation on JA alone. ANYWAYS.) i even tried indulging C for awhile when he kept pressuring me to talk about sex, but i think that just emboldened him instead of ameliorating the issue. give an inch, they'll take a mile, as the saying goes. it just got so exhausting to constantly find new ways to say no.

as far as the manic pixie dream girl thing goes, this was really hammered home for me when i sent him a link to a story i was revisiting and reworking/editing. it just became so incredibly obvious that he literally did not care about me as a person other than what he thought/assumed i brought to the table, both in terms of sex and otherise. i'd talked to C before about wanting to start writing again and needing encouragement, feeling like an imposter, etc. but then when i was rereading my story, i found it to be more solid than i originally thought and got inspired to work on it again. i sent him a link to the story and said basically exactly that, and warned it needed more editing. he said he'd look at it "in a bit," and then a full 24+ hours later was like "oh hey i read it btw." his only feedback was "yeah i really like it! it's in dire need of an editing pass but the characters are solid." and i'm like great, thanks....... then four-ish days later he randomly goes "proud of you babe" in the middle of an already weird nonsensical conversation, so i asked what for, and he said "revisiting old works with a critical eye" which was literally the opposite of what i was doing lol. i was actually actively trying not to be too critical so i didn't burn myself out immediately, which i then told him. he never responded. i dunno, it's wild to me that after like 10 or 11 years of knowing each other he still has such a fixed idea of who i am and doesn't update that idea with new information. i'm basically a notepad file in his brain that hasn't been changed since 2013. it feels super manic pixie dream girl because i'm on this pedastal that he's created for me out of his own imagined impressions of/desires for me, and he responds based on that depiction instead of what's actually in front of him. also what makes him think he can use nicknames like that with me? the audacity, honestly.

having had him blocked for a month, i definitely know i made the right choice. talking to someone like that who has such a fixed idea of who you are despite evidence to the contrary really fucks you up in some subtle ways. there were times when i was questioning my communication skills because he had ideas about me so blatantly wrong, or took conversations in such a weird direction from what i was saying. it felt most often like he was talking sideways at me based on the first couple words i would say, instead of actually processing my full sentence(s). like he was just constantly 1000% distracted and couldn't be bothered to put any attention towards interacting with me, unless he was horny. you know when you're trying to talk to someone and they're looking at/doing something on their phone and they're responding with a couple words or like not really responding much at all? it felt like that, except constantly and always.

third,

i think between C and K i've definitely learned that just because someone was in/has been in my life for a long time, it doesn't necessarily mean they're doing any self-reflection or growing as a person. it's like a weird optimistic pitfall where you assume someone is a better person now because they've had so many opportunities to become one, and you used to be good friends with them so surely they've gone in a similar self-improvement journey. i don't know if i told you what went down with K, but he's a massive creep and hasn't improved literally at all since high school. one of the dating apps that's been more successful for me than the rest is no longer a viable option for me because of him. now that i think about it, i'd argue he's worse than he was back then; at least he regretted harassing/being weird towards other K and stopped/apologized. i should've known better all along probably, he aggressively grabbed my boob out of nowhere and without permission when we were waiting in the car after wind symphony in high school. he apologized and claimed he "misinterpreted signals," but it was still weird and uncomfortable and i never looked at him quite the same way again after that. also to be clear there were no signals to misinterpret. it's just wild to me that someone like K can be so shitty after nearly 15 years. another reminder to me that just because a path starts similarly doesn't mean it'll end similarly.

fourth,

this person's initial i'm going to change to S - it's actually D but i don't want to type things like "i've been ruminating on D a lot lately" lmao

i think i mentioned that i've been talking/interacting with S a little lately, through mutual friends/mutual gaming, and it's got me reflecting on 11 years ago and the turmoil he put me through. i was explaining everything that happened to A, she didn't know the full story because she was uncomfortable hearing about past flames when we first got together (also from trauma), and she was pretty floored at what/how/why he did what he did. i'll never forget that one line he used - "i'd like to pass on my genes, and given your family history i agree you probably shouldn't have children." obvi i don't want them anyway, but the eugenics vibes were strong and also that's pretty fucked up, especially considering what my dad was actively going through at the time. (aside: if his only concern is passing on genes, go to a sperm bank you gross fuck.)

a big part of why this is still semi-plaguing me (when i'm reminded of it) is the total lack of closure. i was never able to talk to S about what happened and how it affected me, nor was i able to get his thoughts on the situation. it's a mildly festering scrape i've had since it happened, and i have no idea how to resolve that. therapy, i guess. in the immediate aftermath, there was a month or so where we didn't talk much, then he reached out again and we were talking as constantly/closely as we had been. he was even a big support for me in the late hours of the evening after my mugging when the panic was setting in and i didn't have words to describe it. things didn't really end until sometime that summer - he just sort of stopped talking to me. we went from meaningful and lengthy conversations to one-word answers and pulling teeth for any reaction. i can only assume he had finally found "his people" in seattle and dropped me like i'm in toy story.

the wildest part is that S seems totally detached from it all, like he's forgotten it happened, or it mattered so little to him he may as well have forgotten it. we've hardly spoken in the intervening years (a rarity for me, most everyone else i've kept in touch with for at least a little while after the situationship broke off) and while he definitely still recognizes me as someone he knows (lmao can u imagine if he didn't), he's never made any remark/reference to our """"past""" or tried to talk about/apologize for/allude to it. i mentioned to P off-hand (he doesn't know what happened) that S gives me sociopath vibes sometimes with how disconnected he is from all of us, and P sort of agreed with me. "chaotic neutral" i think was the way he put it. maybe what i'm struggling with the most in fully processing it is that S seems to care so freaking little. even when i tried to talk to him a bit more about what we could maybe check out in the city, he just stopped responding after a couple messages. it's been fully years since he's ever sent me a message first or spoken to me without prompting, and i doubt that's going to change like...ever. i dunno. it's interesting how someone can be so impactful to you but they seem to feel completely the opposite. we didn't ""officially"" date, but damn if we didn't spend a shit-ton of time together and have a pretty big mutual meaning. it's the juxtaposition of knowing that, and seeing it completely unacknowledged and brushed under the rug that really gets to me. it feels akin to gaslighting, in some ways, in the most oblique/indirect way possible; i know it happened, and i know that he knows it happened, but we're just supposed to continue on like it's nothing and we were nothing. i'm not looking for some kind of declaration of lost love or profound regret, but just a little something as a treat would be nice.

Gotye's Somebody That I Used to Know was released in 2011. this situation happened in 2013, and fuck if that song isn't so painfully poignant about this.

fifth,

this will be a short one. i want to take more photos again. i haven't had a roll of film developed for months, and i've barely taken out my new-to-me (and very spendy lol) digital camera. i wish someone here would go with me. i get nervous in the city and being out alone, especially around this time of year (like clockwork, a monthish before and for a couple months after my muggingversary it flares up). i'll go when i really work up the courage, but the photos i make when i do show my anxiety somehow; i don't know how to describe it but you can just feel it. like when i was embroiled in terrible depression and anxiety being at QC and my photos were bleak and my insta was grey and dark and bleak. i'm really excited about our trip, getting to see you and burn through some film rolls and really try out my newish camera. it's gonna be good.

conclusion,

sorry for the incredibly long post lmao love you bbg and miss you can't wait to see you soon i hope you're doing okay today and having a middling to good day <3

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the-firebird69 · 8 months

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There's no reason for alarm no there is a lot of people here who are terrible and they want to harm her son and threaten them for everything people are beating them up and we are and more it's a fight and we have to balance it out all the time but we have to do it now we're moving in there's a couple things going on there of note here in Charlotte county

-everybody is sick of Donald Trump and his characters here and they put in writing and they went to see how many people who went around and almost everybody so they said well what's the problem and I think it's AI so they're going after that he can hear him whimpering earlier and he started yelling he's trying to attack and he started our son talking and he said oh that's how it is and they started to beat on him and finally he left and he got beat up and he's getting beat up all night and they're not going to stop now I have to the stuff he said there's a huge number of people after him to see if he has taken something from David and Carol and after the others from the video Twilight zone and they're after them for real and it is a huge fight

-huge huge numbers of people are trying to get here to sit around and squawk and bother our son I think they got stuff by doing it they're being intercepted for the most part there's a huge number of pseudo empire here and they're crushing it and they are keeping them out and they're using the rings and they're expelling them when they're try to go in.

-a couple of the things on Charlotte county is having election it's not until November of 24 for Sherri fthe response to that was horrendously loud and people are screaming get him out now we can't wait and yelling we thought it was spring and this guy can't say that long and people are angry and worried and they need him out. They're going to try stuff and it will be a lot of stuff and they plan to is 10 solid plans to get them out there's five solid plants to be victim and they're all going to be rolling in minutes because they want the position for on Saturdays behind and Matt wants to own the place I mean it's all going to come apart for people

-his other stuff we can talk about but there's some things that are very important here. Our son is kind of dilapidating a little and then healing and then lactating at dilapidating and you're making them angry and tired and upset and you're working him psychologically since it just has to sit here and we know but you're making it very hard for him and we don't want you around your trash so to make sure you're not we have begun that process. You more like here who are the problem you should know you're going to be out of here shortly and for a bunch of reasons firstly you're going to be alone your armies will be destroyed second people are going to keep you out and destroy your armies out there and take your stuff third you will have no friends at all even within your race they hate you there after your money this is what you say

We're going to publish the statement is big and very important

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues

Is Love stuff happening in my husband has a sense of humor but I don't really right now and I need Trump and his out and I'm ordering it and send it to mind they're going to send it in for approval

Hera

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bdbsvirtualjournal · 11 months

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A Presentation - 15/10/2023

For the possibility that someone will stumble upon my page, I want to write a short presentation or bio for the potential stranger, but also for me too since I never actually wrote about me. Or discuss me in any way outside my mind.

So, I'm B. , I'm 21 years old at the making of this page, and I live in Timisoara. I've always lived here and I actually really love my city. I don't really plan to move from here, definitely at least. It is a big city, but with a low density so it gives small towns vibes sometimes. It is like a compromise between the stability of small communities but it also has the opportunities for a good career. I am studying Telecommunications here at the Polytechnic University. Even though the field itself is nice and in the 3rd year the courses seem more interesting to me, I can't say that I'm deeply passionate or interested in this domain at large. It mostly sparks a passive curiosity, but it never evolved into something I see myself dedicating my free time. My interests revolve around humanities.

I am tall person with an overall strong build, I work out and cycle a lot, but I don't relate in any way to masculinity. I consider myself gender-queer, my relation with gender being quite complex. Not just on an identity basis, I have feminine features as well. For as much as I can remember, people always remarked my unusual traits. 'Your nails are so beautiful, you should paint them' or 'Did you put mascara on?' are some of the earliest I heard. But that's a discussion for another time.

My political and moral views about the world are deeply left wing. Since my childhood I always took an interest on the human and social parts of the world and history. I was always concerned with how people lived their lives, what was their routine and how did they got throughout the day, rather than focusing on strategic things like battles armies or heroes. Most of the literature I liked growing up was about the human condition.

I am also a Christian. I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian. I go to Church every Sunday, mostly because I am also an Altar boy. I like helping and being deep in my local community. I really like Theology and the history of the Church. It is really fascinating how smart people interpret the Holy Texts and how much meaning they extract from Them and how they created a big system around it. However I'm not a spiritual person, I can't say that I FEEL the divinity.

If I had to describe my "'personality" in a psychological (or pseudo at least) I'd say that I'm an introvert. I don't really like to be surrounded constantly by people. I like staying in house and putting time into my interests. I enjoy the time I spend alone and sometimes I need it like a it's a necessity. However I don't consider myself anti social in any aspect. I can get along with most people, form amicable relations with most people and I can entertain discussions, be them casual or on specific subjects, joking or serious. I also seek people that have similar interests as me. I seek real and genuine human connections, just like anyone else for that matter.

As for my hobbies and interests, I have a deep passion for arts, in special for literature, music and movies. I could talk about those all day. I also enjoy other forms of media such as animations and video games, but not that much as I used to do a while ago. I watch way too much YouTube vids. I also love animals, especially birds. I own a lot of pets and domestic animals.

In my spare time outside the house, I go to concerts. A lot of them. I know every venue in my city and some in others. If there's a concert, most likely I'm there or at least I know about it. There are some places that revolve around cultural stuff but not that many. Just some libraries, some art hubs and small cinemas. I'm also there from time to time. I will get more into what types of music and literature I like, but another time.

Overall I'd describe myself as man of contradictions and conflicting ideas. I study in STEM but my passion is in humanities. I am progressive person and I would describe myself as socialist and/or anarchist but I'm also a practicing Christian in one of the most conservative denominations. I think about my gender identity way more than most people do. I can get along with everyone and I rarely feel alone, and most of the time I can find someone to distract me from that feeling, but I always felt like an outsider who can't find that easily someone that TRULY gets everything. Even my city has contradictions. Even thought I like in a big city (at the outskirts of it indeed but still in the city) I live in a basically rural area and I have farm animals. I don't care about the concept of nationality and overall I hate nationalistic ideas. On the internet I've always adopted other nationalities and formed my personas around them (for example I pretended to be Hungarian on Facebook to trigger dumb Romanians). But I also feel attached to this place I the thought of me not being here scares me. I know that I will miss it.

While I do have all of this contradictions in my life, I don't feel emotionally affected by them, but I do want to explore them more and maybe learn something about myself, that's why I want to journal my thoughts more.

#journal #journal entry #diary entry #myself

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mybodypaystheprice · 2 years

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Intro Post/About Me

First off massive trigger warning for EDs and Depression and Anxiety. I will reblog memes and vent, but I am not pro.

DNI

-Anyone <16

-People in recovery, but it’s your choice.

-Homophobes, Biphobes

-Transphobes, TERFs and Transmedicalists

-Aro/Ace exclusionists

-Racists, zionists, anti-semites, islamaphobes, and any other bigots

A little bit about me:

My name is Mircea (its Romanian and pronounced like“meer-cha”). I go by he/they or whatever male equivalents in your language. I’m studying History but idk what I’m doing with my life. I’m partly fluent in Romanian and live in so called Canada.

I’m autistic with ADHD, major depression, social anxiety, and have also gotten a diagnosis of almost every ED at some point. I went from BN to AN to BED to OSFED. I have experience with inpatient and outpatient treatment and experience of nearly dying because of this illness. I have been living in a state of pseudo-recovery for the past few years. I’m not trying to be deathly skinny anymore, but I still very much have an ED.

If you wanna know more…

I’m trans 🏳️‍⚧️ I’m a trans man. Mostly. Mostly male. Male for practical reasons but my gender is beyond comprehension. Been on T since 2018 and got top surgery November 2022. I’m also asexual and aromantic and have known from a young age. Somewhere on both of those spectrums. Or polyam. Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on and at this point I don’t care for labels. I’m queer.

Also I have an Etsy shop selling my linocut art and patches n stuff.

My interests include:

(and please feel free to msg me if you want to talk about any of these because I can and will go on for hours)

-Philosophy, History, Geography, Linguistics, and Anarchism (the left wing kind).

-Aesthetically, I really like spooky and gothic things, fairycore things, and 90s/2000s cyberpunk or webcore.

-My music taste is a little all over the place I really 70s disco and soul, 80s goth and post punk, 90s emo, and orchestral music. Also video game and movie/TV/Anime OST. And organ music. I go wild for that.

-I play bass guitar but not in a band or anything. Just a hobby I’ve kept to myself for like 4 years. Also I can play ocarina.

-Games I like are: Minecraft, Kirby, Zelda, Pokémon, Smash bros, Dead or Alive, Little Big Planet

-I love anime, but I’m not really into shōnen. I like experimental anime and psychological thrillers including: Shiki, Serial Experiments Lain, Texhnolyze, Monster, Ergo Proxy, Mononoke, Paranoia Agent, Pet Shop of Horrors, and Ping Pong the Animation.

-More mainstream anime I like: Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, Hellsing and Hellsing Ultimate, The Disastrous life of Saiki K, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Psycho-pass.

-Bojack Horseman, A:tLA, Community, Psych, and the classic and new Twilight Zone are some of my favourite non anime shows.

-My favourite movie is Predestination (2014). And if you haven’t seen it, but like a good fucked up sci fi thriller, go watch it now. And don’t spoil it for yourself, it’s got a good twist.

-I like reading nonfiction, but I also really like old gothic horror and psychological thrillers.

TW Stats

169cm

HW 67 LW 42 GW 54-56

CW 61 59 57 56 54

Currently trying to maintain 54-56kg

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rosy-cheekx · 3 years

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for the kiss prompts... 16 with jonmartin?

Combined this New Years Kiss prompt with @ombreblossom‘s prompt for “a giggly kiss" and an anon prompt: “I wish you would write a fic where martin scoops Jon into his arms and Jon realizes how strong he is” damn if i dont deliver

Just a good vibes fic while I’m dying over the pre-finals stress. Check on your friendly neighborhood psychology students, especially juniors. They’re a-struggling.

Enjoy!!

Resolutions, 2.2k

CW: alcohol

“Happy New Year’s Eve!”

Jon wasn’t sure what he expected of Tim’s house. Maybe something haphazardly designed, with takeaway menus pinned to the fridge? Maybe the epitome of the bachelor pad?

He definitely hadn’t expected the open floorplan, spotlessly cleaned and well-organized, with furniture complementary to the walls and each other. Warm light spilled from every lamp, with purple and silver decorations inscribed with “2015” and “Happy New Years” dangling from almost every surface.

“You can close your mouth now, buddy,” Tim elbowed him lightly. “I keep my spaces clean, what can I say?”

Jon clamped his teeth back together and held out a bottle of white wine mechanically. “I brought this. Er, sorry I’m late.”

Tim shook his head jovially, taking Jon’s coat and scarf along with the wine, before handing the bottle back to him. “Party’s just getting started. We’ve been drinking a bit, playing some games.” He winked before nudging him toward the couches, where Sasha’s dark curls were just visible. “Go on, I’ll be right behind. They’ll be happy to see you!”

“Jon!” The man in question jumped and craned his neck to see Martin—or, more rightly, his hand—from over the edge of the couch cushions. “Good, you’re here! Sash and Tim are kicking my ass in Scrabble.”

Jon approached the living room, spying Martin, sitting on the floor in front of a coffee table, another bottle of white wine between him and Sasha, along with the aforementioned Scrabble board. “Scrabble isn’t a team sport?”

“Hey, Jon. Ooh, more wine, thank god, this one’s just gone.” Sasha scrunched her nose with her greeting, reaching for the bottle in his hands. “And no, it’s not,” she continued as she spun a corkscrew between her fingers. “But Tim is missing like half the tiles so we can’t play four.”

“Tim’n’Sash ganged up on me,” Martin mumbled, the edges of his words softened, Jon assumed, by wine. “I didn’t even—I’m new to research, issnot fair.”

Sasha pulled the cork from the wine as Tim leapt over the cushion of the suede couch, landing neatly next to her. “I told you, you would get Jon when he showed up, which evens it out anyways. Stop pouting.”

“Am not.”

Jon folded his legs beneath his hips as he sat, examining the board and taking a proffered glass from Sasha’s hands. “Don’t worry, Martin,” he offered, smiling gently at the man, taking in the flush of his face and the rolled sleeves of his dress shirt—maroon, he filed away. Looks good with his hair. “We’ve just got to last long enough before Tim gets drunk or bored and starts to throw letters at us. Did he tell you that’s why they’re missing?”

Martin laughed aloud and the noise caught Jon off guard. It was a low, warm sound, loud in a way that suited the man. Jon smiled to himself, proud.

“I do-I do not,” spluttered Tim, pointedly ignoring Sasha’s raised eyebrow. “…I stopped that when we were down to one W.”

Jon nudged Martin, gesturing for the block of letters in front of him. “You’ll see. Our turn?”

Eight rounds, three glasses of wine, and a dodge from the letter E later, Jon was feeling properly comfortable. They were all properly buzzed, if not a little tipsy, and the clock ticked steadily closer to midnight. Martin and Jon had continued to be partners for all the other games they played: Charades, Pictionary, and a silly game Sasha had made up where they had to describe concepts like colors or sounds, without using words directly related to them. Martin had carried their team for that game, explaining through an embarrassed blush that he liked to read a lot of poetry. Jon elected to ignore that statement, though he was grateful for the edge it gave them; his competitive streak was willing to ignore a multitude of sins.

At 11:15, Tim flipped through the television programs, searching for one doing a proper countdown. One of the BBC Music channels was playing a Countdown playlist, with an eclectic variety of music on the playlist if the presented queue was any indication. Remote in hand, Tim spun on his heel, lip-syncing voraciously to the song, some dreadfully cheesy rock ballad. In turn, he focused on Sasha, then Jon, then Martin, hand outstretched to each of them in a mockery of longing. When he turned his attention back to Sasha, the chorus swelled and she took his hand, swinging herself under his arm with a grin on her face. Jon settled into the couch cushions, a warmth running through his chest as he watched the two spin with each other in a pseudo-dance. Martin sipped his glass of water on the other end of the couch, seemingly as happy as Jon to just watch.

As the song ended, the rock ballad was replaced by a pop song, one Jon didn’t know but it was apparent everyone else did. Tim sang along in a horrendous shout-sing, and Sasha grabbed Martin’s hand, tugging on it lightly. Martin rolled his eyes, resisting briefly as Sasha wordlessly argued with him, but her will was stronger and he laughed softly as she pulled him to his feet and jumped around to the beat, air-guitaring in circles around him. Eventually, Martin closed his eyes and leant into the dance, reminding Jon vaguely of his club days with Georgie, the dozens of hot, sweaty young adults without a care in the world of who saw them dance. And, most importantly, dance badly. Martin was truly terrible, but Jon was unable to tear his gaze away. He wasn’t matching the tempo and he knew about half the words as he joined Tim in singing the chorus, but there was something about him that was absolutely intoxicating, more than the wine Jon had consumed.

The Beatles played next, and of course Jon knew them. They had been his grandmother’s favorite, and for good reason. He hadn’t even realized he was singing under his breath to Come Together until Tim’s TV remote was shoved under his lips unceremoniously. Without thinking, he accepted the faux-microphone and joined the trio, standing from the couch to the coffee table in socked feet. As he sang, voice growing in intensity, he swung his arms wide, the images of clubs and dancers and stages at the forefront of his mind.

When the song ended, Jon was breathless, and the smattered applause from his friends brought him out of his reverie. He blushed, suddenly acutely aware of the blood rushing through his body and the heart that was pumping it. he handed the remote to Tim and moved to step off the table, chewing on his lip as he did so. Before he could make the awkward step to the floor below, he yelped as he was suddenly swept off balance. The spinning of his mind, thanks to the alcohol, confused him briefly before he realized he hadn’t fallen and was actually being clutched in a pair of strong arms, bridal-style. Martin’s arms, to be precise. His brow was furrowed in concentration, though he held Jon like he weighed almost nothing.

“Ah, you said you didn’t want to fall.” Martin shrugged and bounced Jon in his arms slightly as if that explained everything.

He had? “Mmm-thank you Mar’n,” Jon murmured, eyes unsure where to land and deciding on a loose curl that hung over Martin’s forehead. He wanted to pull it, Jon realized, and he did so, gently, giving the coil a tug, and giggled to himself as it sprang back in place. Martin was a lot stronger than Jon gave him credit for, and warmer too, though that may have been the alcohol. It was nice, being held like that, and Jon felt himself nestle towards the heat of Martin’s barreled chest without thinking about it.

Tim and Sasha, to Jon’s relief, hadn’t seemed to notice, deep in conversation. Martin deposited Jon safely on the couch and slumped next to him, unbuttoning his collar a little more and turning his attention quite intently to his phone.

The music carried on, and Jon was pulled into a few more dances with Sasha and Tim but felt himself gravitating towards Martin as the hour pursued, making excuses to scoot closer on the couch. A few videos of kittens later, he was properly next to him, watching Tim and Sasha tango to Britney Spears and the clock that ticked steadily towards midnight.

As 11:50 hit, Tim lowered the volume and flopped next to Jon, sweat beading on his forehead. “Alright, mates, resolutions for 2015, go.” He popped a grape from the platter that rested on the chair nearby. “Mine’s to get outside more, I haven’t been able to get out of London much. Maybe go backpacking, see the world.”

Sasha shrugged and perched on the armrest of the couch, feet resting on the cushion next to Tim. “Patience, I think. Listening to people better.”

Jon surprised himself by speaking. “Work-life balance,” he mumbled, dragging his eyes from the coffee table to meet Tim’s curious expression. “It’s not like Elias cares much what the researchers do.”

“Hell yeah, mate!” Tim clapped him on the back. “Maybe you’ll finally come dancing with me. You’ve clearly got the skills.” He turned his attention to the final member of their party. “Marto? What about you?”

Martin shrugged, lips pursed in thought. “Mm, be more honest with people, I think.”

Tim nodded excitedly. “Oh yes, I would love to see Martin Blackwood, The Director’s Cut.”

The ginger shrugged. “I don’t think you’re missing much, honestly, just maybe a little more negativity, a little more feeling.”

“Regardless,” Tim waved the thought away. “Can’t wait to see it.” He cast his eyes to the ceiling and crossed his arms under his chest. “What do you think the illustrious Elias Bouchard does on holiday? I swear that man lives and breathes Magnus Institute.”

Sasha grinned. “Bet he wears nothing but a silk robe, with the Magnus owl embroidered on the chest, skulking around the house and drinking scotch, grumbling about budgets and paranormal stories.”

“Bet he has a cat he strokes menacingly while watching the stock market,” Martin added, sighing. “We can agree he’s a total Tory, right?”

“Oh, for sure,” came a chorus of affirmation.

The group sat in comfortable silence as an upbeat love song played on the television. Jon’s eyes were starting to feel heavy, like how they felt when he got them dilated at the optometrist. Midnight couldn’t come soon enough.

“Hey, guys?” The voice from his right was quiet, hesitant. Martin’s eyes were glassy, phone abandoned on his lap. “I’m really happy to be here, with you all.”

“Martin!” Sasha and Tim cooed happily, rushing to coat his words in affirmations and gentle kindness, sweet gifts with which to end the year. Jon opted for a quieter approach, not the verbally affectionate kind of man, placing a hand over Martin’s gently, squeezing his wrist once. He wasn’t even sure if Martin noticed it—he didn’t move his hand before Tim was shouting, hauling them up as 11:59 flashed on the screen and a countdown began to shout its way from 59 on the screen.

“Come on!” Tim crowed. “My mum always said you can’t stand still when midnight hits, or it’s bad luck. Something about starting the year moving.” Tim led them all in a sort of march, stomping forward and back, spinning in circles, and swinging each of his friends under his arms, though Martin had to duck rather considerably. All four of the research staff members were laughing through their words as they tried to add their discordant shouting to the last few numbers on the TV.

“Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Tim grabbed Sasha around her waist and dipped her low as he kissed her, both grinning into the kiss. Jon chuckled and shook his head at the pair, before feeling the hand that was still on his tug gently.

“I-I said I wanted to be more honest,” Martin murmured, voice low in his throat. Jon nodded wordlessly, indicating for him to go on. His words seemed caught somehow.

“If I’m honest,” Martin continued, eyes flitting over Jon’s face before landing back on his eyes. “I really want to kiss you.”

Jon giggled, actually giggled at Martin’s words, the boldness of the wine piloting his voice for a moment. “What are you waiting for?”

So Martin did, one hand on Jon’s waist and one tangled in the hair behind his ears, pressing Jon close and up towards his lips. It was a warm kiss, soft and gentle, and Jon’s head was spinning, not from the buzz or the dancing but from the four points of contact he had with MartinMartinMartin Blackwood is kissing me and Martin’s hand is on my waist and my hand is on Martin’s cheek and his skin is so soft I think I could kiss him forever. Screw 2015; I’ll come back for 2016 and just kiss Martin for a year—

Martin pulled away, smiling down at Jon with a look of utter adoration. “Happy New Year,” he breathed. “Here’s to 2015.”

“H-Happy New Year,” Jon returned, ducking his head shyly at the gaze Martin was casting on him. “Let’s hope it’s a good one.”

#tma #tma fanfic #jmart #timsasha #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #sasha james #tim stoker #jonmartin #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fanfic #fanfic to a tea #cw alcohol #new years eve #new years eve party

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pointlesstrashyexistence · 3 years

Text

I recently got back into Gorillaz and rewatched all the music videos that have since come out and have been obsessing over 2D’s eyes for the last few hours. All throughout Phase 1, 2, and 4 they’re black. But in Phase 3 they are almost always white, are exclusively white in Phase 6, and are mostly white in Phase 5 with the exception of the part in Humility where 2D’s head gets hurt and he blinks and his eyes that had been white for the entire video turn black.

I think it was really interesting that the meaning of white colored eyes for 2D specifically was suddenly changed following Phase 4. For most fans, it was pretty easy to believe that 2D’s eyes were white because of an intense amount of stress and anxiety. He was trapped on an island in the middle of nowhere, imprisoned underwater where a whale constantly watched his actions as a giant psychological mindfuck, and the only other characters he had constant interaction with was one of the most abusive assholes in the world who has basically taken control of his 2D’s life whenever he wants no matter what 2D may or may not want and a cyborg imitation of one of his best friends/ pseudo child that only follows Murdoc’s orders and can kill anybody on command with the weapons in her body. Of course he’d be stressed the fuck out and what better way would there be to show this in a character who is known for his eyes being black suddenly turning white as if somehow instead of his skin turning pale like a normal person’s does when scared and anxious, the blood making his eyes black rushes out. Then he came back in Humanz with black eyes and it seemed everything was back to whatever Gorillaz version of normal is, meaning 2D was less stressed or dealing with his stress better and his eyes were back to black. When Humility came out and 2D’s eyes were white while he seemed so happy and free, it was the real head spinning moment.

I think If Noodle had been right in thinking 2D had been possessed like Russel and that was why he was acting so different than before and had white eyes in Phase 5, that might have been a little much even for Gorillaz since while 2D is one of the more odd looking members of the band, he is also the most relatively normal member. He had a fairly normal childhood with the exception of the accident that led him to have blue hair, he has loving parents with normal jobs, and between phases he had pretty average stories of working at his dad’s fairground and going to school or traveling. He wasn’t Murdoc who made deals with the devil, or Noodles who was a child soldier and assassin also dealing with literal demons, or Russel who had been possessed and turned into a giant because of chemicals as he swam to Plastic Beach. There’s no real connection he has to anything exceptionally strange or supernatural until Phase 6 and that’s not particularly exceptional since everyone in the band also interacts with the portals.

I’ve heard two different theories about why 2D’s eyes are now almost exclusively white. One is that his eyes mimic the energy and emotion he feels. Black is a neutral state. Extreme happiness or extreme sadness/ stress? White eyes. I think it’s a fairly decent explanation. It feels like a better fit for 2D while also explaining why he has the same colored eyes for such conflicting emotions and circumstances. It doesn’t have quite as much depth as I would hope for though. The second theory is that 2D’s eyes being black has been because of consistent head trauma because people who suffer from 8-ball fractures should be able to heal and their eyes turn back to normal, but they also need to be more careful of their head hitting anything because it can easily send blood rushing back into the eyes. While Noodles is definitely the most dangerous of the group, Murdoc has always been the one to become violent easily, and seems fond of finding reasons to harm 2D. During Phase 3 (the lore not the clips), Murdoc and 2D are all alone and are not performing. During Phase 5, Murdoc isn’t around because he’s in jail, and when he returns in Phase 6, he no longer has as much power within Gorillaz and doesn’t seem as prone to anger and violence as before. In this theory, 2D’s eyes being black has been the result of Murdoc continuously hurting his head to maintain the specific image of 2D that he had when he woke up from his coma, the same image that 2D had when Gorillaz was originally being marketed. For Phase 3, they’re not touring at all, so 2D doesn’t need to keep his black eyes. For Phase 5 and 6 Murdoc is either not present or not attempting to harm 2D. His eyes are white not to show a specific emotional state but because they’re healing since he hasn’t suffered continuous head trauma from Murdoc anymore. While I think this is a more interesting theory that delves into the interesting and fucked up relationship between 2D and Murdoc, I have very clear memories of clips from Murdoc’s radio show while on Plastic Beach. Sometimes 2D would come in and those would end with major fights between the two that included the sound of physical hitting, things being thrown, and 2D making very big dramatic noises that sounded like he was hurt or scared. I can’t imagine that the entire time 2D and Murdoc were stuck on Plastic Beach together, Murdoc didn’t just decide to hit 2D whenever he felt like it which is why this theory also isn’t entirely full proof.

I feel like there’s this great middle ground theory somewhere between the two that actually makes a lot of sense. Because even in Phase 3, despite 2D being believed to have white eyes throughout the entire phase, in the artwork and videos his eyes do go back and forth from black to white and vice versa. This could just be a lack of consistent character design, but it could also be a way of showing 2D’s complexity despite him seeming to gradually be more uwu-fied by the story and fans. I guess I’m going more along the mental state route, but I guess 2D’s eye color could indicate his clarity of mind at the time? Or how focused his mind is? For his eyes to be white is for him to have a focus on a fairly simple singular goal or have a somewhat definitive idea of who he is, what he wants to be, and what he wants to do. He is trapped inside his underwater prison bedroom in Plastic Beach and his eyes are white? His singular goal is getting out but he doesn’t have the ability to because he is worried about the whale seeing him. He’s on Plastic Beach with Murdoc and Cyborg Noodle and his eyes are black? It’s been a while since he’s been on the island, long enough that Murdoc will let him leave the prison bedroom and roam under supervision, and he’s lost looking out into the ocean trapped with Murdoc and a dangerous imitation of someone close to him he thinks is dead and will never get to the see the sunset again, or sing with him, and oh god she would have been an adult and she practically was one compared to the rest of them when she died and Cyborg lacks all her warmth and he can’t tell if it’s better or worse that Murdoc attempted to recreate Noodle at 14 then attempt to create the wonderful adult she could have turned into at 19 and where the fuck is Russel. He’s skating and having the time of his life with Murdoc gone? He’s free and enjoying himself and wow this album that he’ll be a major creative force behind will be amazing and he’ll make sure it is and Noodle and Russel will be there and they’ll all support each other and he can experiment with sound in a way he’s feared to do since Murdoc came into his life. He trips and hits his head but quickly shakes it off and his eyes that briefly turned black are white again? The hit and the somewhat imposing blurry figure of Russel standing over him briefly sent him spiraling back to a place in time he would order not to revisit, but he knows where he is and who he is and while his confidence is shaken, he still knows what’s happening. His eyes are still white as he reaches back down through a portal to a fearful and hopeful Murdoc smiling with outstretched arms because Murdoc’s fear is that he has no use, no power, and has been abandoned to die in the middl of nowhere with the palace he attempted to create long ago and imprisoned 2D in? He knows that Murdoc has been a horrible person and may always to some degree be one and while he will never forget the physical verbal and emotional abuse, he can see Murdoc attempting to be a better person every day and knows that he will never know the person Murdoc could be if he let him die but also that he Stuart 2D Pott is not a killer, and not even Murdoc fucking Niccals will make him be one.

Idk. I feel like there’s so much that could potentially be done with 2D and his eyes and it’s just never fully addressed even though it could easily provide a short hand for understanding his emotions and development and relationships with other characters.

#gorillaz #Gorillaz #2D #2d gorillaz #2D Gorillaz #stuart 2d pot #Stuart 2D Pot #2D’s eyes #Stuart 2D Pott’s eyes

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brooklynislandgirl · 3 years

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Beth and UARF!Billy - ❤♡❥ღ💕💘💝💓💌💟💙💚💜💛

Heart-Eyes || -

Five A.M.

Beth’s barely awake as she comes into the office, coffee in hand, only to come face to face with the widest grin she has ever seen on Hal Gates’ face. Dark eyes dancing, he relieves her of her thermos cup, takes both her arms in his hands, and swing-dances her around the cramped space where they work.

“We’ve done it, girl!”

Though abjectly confused, Beth can’t help but grin in return. “Wha’ve we done?” She wants to be just as thrilled, wants to share in the old man’s joy. “We’ve got data on white pointer mating! I’m running the compile now, we should be able to parse it and watch the video footage within an hour or two!”

She’s floored.

The shock is clear on her face, even her mouth drops open a little. Often bandied about as the Holy Grail of marine biology, great-white mating is known to exist. Despite decades of research into the habits of the species, that particular bit of knowledge has eluded marine biologists.

“Wha...? How?”

“Mate of mine, Crawford down in New Zealand has taken a fisherman’s eye-witness account on our elusive little friends, and shared video. Crawford sent me all of the data.”

“Oh, Hal.”

Dr Gates nods at her eagerly and once again promenades her around some tables, brushing past a stack of hastily shoved aside folders with charts of migration patterns, weather reports, and feeding data. Then, far more carefully, he hands her into a seat and plops down into an office chair, slapping his knees in pleasure and pride.

“Speaking of mating rituals...”

Beth laughs but blushes at the same time, eyes askance. She suddenly knows what he’s going to ask, or at least of whom.

“...And since we have so little to do until all the research is collated and complied...”

“Must we?”

“No finer time, girl.”

She holds her hands up to stave him off until she gets up, crosses the room and takes a sip of her coffee. Not exactly how she wanted to start the day, but there’s no real reason not to humour her mentor.

“Have at, den.”

“Excellent.” Hal Gates really is an inveterate old gossip.

~*~

❤: who is more affectionate in public? in private?

Beth laughs. Okay, so this isn’t really so bad. “I t’ink I gotta say...I’m more affectionate in public. Mos’ of da time, Doctah Manderly... just doesn’t know what t’ do. Very stiff, hands in his pockets or stand at parade rest.”

The last cocktail party had been a half disaster, between trying to get William to mingle with the public attendees and not leave to check on his seals at first opportunity. The one time he surprised her was when he put a hand on the small of her back though the illusion was broken when she found that the six-foot-six man was trying to ultimately hide behind her. No amount of mock-tails were going to spare him any acute discomfort.

“Probably for da best. No offence, but he’s very definitely...ah....British.”

“None taken.” Hal offers her a wink and taps the side of his nose.

“But even behind close doors? He just... lil uptight, I guess. I sometimes wonder if mebbe he’s worried about havin’ an episode, and some affections are difficult when you have a service dog nearly t’ree-quarters ya size intent on doin’ her job, but I’d say he at least tries when it jus’ da two of us. Fingahs in my hair, brush against my arm. Da kine.”

Hal nods, knowing the specifics without having to drag them out of her.

♡: who is the bigger romantic openly? secretly?

"I t’ink,” she begins, carefully considering this one. “Dat anyone who loves da sea so much dat dey would give up a whole life to dedicate demself to it...got a big romantic soul. What is da ocean, if not love an’ life, an’ all dat we dream of in songs an’ poetry? I only t’ink it’s harder for him to express dat because well..”

She makes a dismissive gesture.

It isn’t that he grasps the concepts of language and expression, they’ve certainly entertained passionate arguments, verbal jousts that have filled the air with sign and countersign.

“Romantically speakin’ I jus’ don’ see him as da type dat I’m gonna find outside my window wi’ an ole boom box, playing In Ya Eyes by Petah Gabriel, ya know? But I also don’t believe he wouldn’t t’ink about it. So secretly? Him. Openly, me.”

❥: who is more likely to plan something big for valentine's day?

“Honestly, Hal...I’d have t’ say him. He’s a planner. Wants every detail to be perfect, will second guess himself a hundred times jus’ to make sure dere no wrinkle in the research. Me? Always been da spontaneous kine, except when it came to really wantin’ to work wit’ you.”

Hal pats her lap, his face soft.

ღ: who is more likely to initiate hand-holding in public?

“Again, it would be William. I don’ know wha’ he’s t’inkin’ a lot of da time, if he’s even aware dat I am dere sometimes. An’ I don’ really wanna make a big deal about it, don’ wanna ovahstep. For me, it’s a much more difficult proposition, is like...touch is where I’m most comfortable, outside of typing endless notes or readin’ data.”

She nods toward the words scrolling along the screen. She fully disclosed her disabilities when she applied for the position so thankfully she doesn’t have to explain now. Most of the other people at the facility don’t even really notice. Except for maybe Ben who sees too much and maybe says too little. That’s to be expected though when you gather a bunch of scientists and stick them in one beautiful place.

“You want him to initiate more, don’t you?”

“I would, yeah. But dere always more important kine and so really guess it nevah really matter.”

💕: who is more likely to make huge declarations of love in front of other people?

“Fair question an’ I guess dat would be me. We...we agreed not to make a big t’ing about any of dis, you know how quirky everyone here is, an’ in case it doesn’t work out, we don’ want da kine t’ get weird. Especially wi’ James an’ Miranda. So if somet’ing like dis were t’ happen it’s probably because he push all my buttons an’ my tempah got da best of me, right? Could see it happenin’ over breakfast. On da beach. Mebbe by da pools.”

Which is why she tries so hard to keep her passions in check. She doesn’t want to blurt out anything that can’t be taken back.

💘: who developed a crush on the other first?

“Couldn’t say,” and in those two words it is the breadth and depth of her honesty. Beth doesn’t have crushes in the same way most people do. She’s never seen anyone and instantly found herself immersed in fantasies, desires, a desperate need to be around them. She might find someone intellectually stimulating and enjoy the conversation. She might notice that something about them calls to her artist’s eye and be aesthetically pleasing in its symmetry, someone might make her laugh but she doesn’t dwell. And by the time there is the first inkling that she might want more out of a situation or relationship, she’s already become close friends. Or she watches as that object of her affection drifts beyond reach and she tells herself she’s happy because they clearly needed something more than she’s even capable of giving.

And sometimes, Beth wonders if she isn’t really broken or damaged in some way. Because she can’t even say she ever had a crush on Billy. She doesn’t know that she can say she has any expectations other than they look good together on paper, and it’s been drilled into her since birth that appearances *do* matter. “Mo’beddah you should ask him.” Gates doesn’t say anything, he only nods.

💝: who spends more time (possibly overthinking) what presents to get the other?

“William. For same-same reasons as Valentines Day, an’ da need for everyt’ing to be as exactin’ as he can make it. Like, how hard and how long it take him to find...or more likely, *breed* dem two purple neocardinas in my office?” Shrimp like the two in her tank, deliriously happy and spoiled and free of predators, are rare in size and colour, and yet… there they are. Then there’s the allegorical evidence of his severe and frothing dislike of mass consumption marketing, the complete commercialisation of every secular and religious holiday, the pastiche of feelings tacked on almost like an afterthought.

💓: who initiates most physical contact?

Beth hesitates. That’s slightly more personal than the other questions so far and truth be told she’s a little ashamed of having to answer without specific parameters. But it is a question, and she did agree to answer them with the same honesty as she offers Hal in all their other work and conversations. “I’ve always done well wi’ sensory input dat was based in kine oddah dan auditory. Smell, taste, seeing… but of alla dem, touch has always been important to me. Textures, near imperceptible data processed t’rough skin. An’ I guess dat I use dat wi’ him. Way to express ideas or sensations dat might not come across ordinarily. Enthusiasm, excitement, humour, rage, disappointment. I wan him to feel an’ understand when I don’ have da words in me, or know how to express. A lot of da time, it’s accidental or at least….subconscious.” A beat goes by. “I don’t believe he really cares much for it.”

💌: who is more likely to send cutesy texts to the other?

This one is hard for her to answer because they aren’t really cutesy text people. Most of their days are too filled with very real world drama, service to the greater good, the understanding and conservation of the most vulnerable environments and animals within. There’s weather, there’s reports, there’s an entire litany of experiences that don’t leave much time to play around until well after hours when they can finally seek well deserved liberty. However, Billy does sometimes send her pictures of the seals doing very cute seal things, or Annie shepherding him and his charges with the boss-vibes of the Queen Mother. In the end she only offers her mentor a smile and a shrug.

💟: who spends time reading their zodiac compatibilities?

“Oh absolutely I do. Find da whole pseudo-science of it fascinatin’, especially when da stars are not in da same position as dey were when it was invented an’ da psychological impact it has on our species is jus’ totally wild, you know?”

Beth knows that she’s the textbook definition of a Cancerian woman, and Billy does a good job providing a counter-argument on being a Libra. Further there’s a bit of an annoyance factor; he thinks junk science ‘belongs in the bottom of the bin with the rest of the rubbish.’ And he has a point, to some extent, even if she doesn’t agree with him. Not everything can be cold facts and numbers. Sometimes a little playfulness was in order and he absolutely needed to be reminded of that.

Hal laughs and shakes his head. “You’re going to do my chart then, aren’t you?” “Wit’out a doubt, Doctah Gates.” She wiggles her brows.

💙: who is more protective?

“I think objectively, I am. You know William’s troubles, and I have to keep them all in mind dough it’s not like he can forget dem, right? Some of his facts aren’t… I’ve consulted with some medical doctors and if we are careful, dere’s a lot he can experience dat he sees out of reach but I don’ like bringing dem up because I don’ want to agitate him. Only can lead t’ problems.” She does wish though that he’d trust her a little more, that he’d let go of some of his well deserved fears. That he’d let himself out of his shell and accept that even with limitations he can do many of the same things as the rest of the group does. But he seems content enough to hang back, ever the observer. And she doesn’t know if it’s her place to try to drag him into things though she might be better at it than anyone else. Miranda has told her as much.

💚: who tends to get sick more often? who is better at taking care of the other?

Hal’s question is really a continuation of the previous one and once again she has to call Billy out on it. Because she’s never really been sick a day in her life, not since early childhood and the culmination of that was the test bite that nearly lost her the leg she keeps tucked away, hidden out of sight whenever possible. “Dat seems a small kine ingenious, he no can help his seizure disorder. An’ I feel like he really ought to have a good psychologist. I t’ink some t’erapy would do him good. Spends too much time in his own head an’ mebbe not enough taking charge of his life. I know he can be afraid of lots of t’ings but it nevah really *has* to be dat way. But I also don’ wanna push him, for same-same reasons I mention before. You can lead a shark to chum but no can make him frenzy, know what I mean?” The analogy is silly. Billy wants so much more than what he feels he has. And a darker current in the back of her mind wonders if they would still be the same if he felt he could reasonably have them. That feels so selfish and toxic and she really has no place casting judgement on him when maybe she’s no better off than he is, only expressing it differently.

💜: who said "i love you" first? or, if neither has said it yet, who is more likely to say it first?

It’s strange how perceptive he is and goes in for the killing bite. The honest truth is that neither one has said it. And neither one likely will. Billy has layers of guilt and trauma, has beliefs that she cannot get a single foothold to try and tear apart. He doesn’t feel deserving of such a finer emotion. And Beth? She has her own reasons. She doesn’t even know if love is a thing that exists or if it’s some fairy-tale people tell themselves to make it easier to get by. She believes in affection, and she believes that people bond the same way packs and pods and herds do. But she feels the concept of love is poisonous. Ruinous in the way it can destroy someone from the inside out. And how any time she’s ever thought she’d felt it, it was ripped out from her grasp. She won’t say it. She won’t hear it.

She doesn’t answer him immediately, but instead gets up and paces away, appearing as though she’s checking on some of the cameras situated around the bay. The wall that she’d left down for Hal goes back up, slamming into place.

“Research from both psychology and neurology fields have found that there are twelve different areas of the brain that light up and work together when two people are attracted to one another, releasing chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and vasopression. All the symptoms people experience are simply animal-instincts provided to guarantee that we as a species survive by either wanting to mate, or flee.”

💛: who believes in soulmates?

And Gates understands he’s made an error in judgement, though he’d only been trying to be helpful in a meddling kind of way. Anyone at the facility could see that Billy and Beth were two sides of a very quirky but ultimately needed coin. That they’d both changed each other in the two years she’d been a research fellow, and how they’d both blossomed for it. Well, anyone but the two of them. And this had seemed like such a good idea at first, tied into shark mating habits which he’d hoped she’d take better than she is.

Her answers have thus far matched up quite nicely with the boy’s.

Sadly, especially this one. She doesn’t turn to look at him. “There are no such things, Doctor Gates. And even if there were, statistically it would be almost impossible to meet a soul mate. Within the same general age group there are about a half a billion potential companions all over the world. One would have to travel the entirety of the world, every remote pocket of the planet. Secondly, there’s no scientific proof that souls even exist, and enough studies across various disciplines to prove that they don’t. Believing in such nonsense only makes a person unhappy. And all that aside, most mammals are not biologically programmed for monogamy and I doubt human beings are either.” Because if they were, why would anyone leave someone they claimed to love?

#Mahalo!Crow <3333 #A Star to Sail Her By|Doctor William Manderly #No Man's Land|Billy and Beth #Urca Aquarium and Research Facility #Aloha'aina|Hawai'i

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bigprettygothgf · 5 years

Text

kayla bigprettygothgf’s halloween recommendation list

I know it’s a little late into October to publish this, and I had wanted to get this out at the start of the month, other things just got in the way of my time. But, I finished it anyway.

I’ve divided this into two parts - First, movies that are available on the big three streaming services - Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, and Hulu. Second, movies that are not available on those services and you’ll have to get via… other means. All in all there’s over 70 films here.

Summaries are either written by me or lifted from letterboxd. Because I’m lazy.

It probably goes without saying that almost all of these come with a CW for violence. Violence will only be mentioned specifically in CWs in more extreme cases.

If I’ve missed any applicable content warnings here, please message me about it! it’s been a while since I’ve seen many of these movies and it’s likely there’s some details I’ve forgotten.

Full list under the cut.

Available on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or Hulu

-Annihilation (2018)

A biologist signs up for a dangerous, secret expedition into a mysterious zone where the laws of nature don’t apply.

-Genres: Alien invasion, body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: Death of a lesbian character

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Apostle (2018)

Netflix original horror tends to be very hit or miss, more often than not a catastrophic miss. While not without its flaws, Apostle is fortunately one of the better releases to the service, offering a very The Wicker Man (1973)-esque story about a man who travels to a remote island in search of his sister who has been kidnapped by a cult.

-Genres: Cult horror, historical period horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-As Above, So Below (2014)

While the dialogue in the film borders on unintentional comedy at times, As Above, So Below is a surprisingly decent found footage flick about a team of explorers delving into the Paris catacombs.

-Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2017)

Father and son coroners receive a mysterious unidentified corpse with no apparent cause of death. As they attempt to examine the young “Jane Doe,” they discover increasingly bizarre clues that hold the key to her terrifying secrets.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Blade (1998)

When Blade’s mother was bitten by a vampire during pregnancy, she did not know that she gave her son a special gift while dying—all the good vampire attributes in combination with the best human skills. Blade and his mentor battle an evil vampire rebel who plans to take over the outdated vampire council, capture Blade and resurrect a voracious blood god.

-Genres: Superhero, vampire horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Hulu

-Candyman (1992)

The Candyman, a murderous soul with a hook for a hand, is accidentally summoned to reality by a skeptic grad student researching the monster’s myth.

-Genres: Psychological horror, slasher, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Animal death, R-slur

-Available on: Netflix

-Cloverfield (2008)

Five young New Yorkers throw their friend a going-away party the night that a monster the size of a skyscraper descends upon the city. Told from the point of view of their video camera, the film is a document of their attempt to survive the most surreal, horrifying event of their lives.

-Genres: Disaster, found footage, monster, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: One of the lead characters, Hud, is played by accused sexual abuser T.J. Miller

-Available on: Hulu

-Constantine (2005)

By all accounts, Constantine is a bad adaption of its source material, taking far too many creative liberties and making many unnecessary changes from the Hellblazer comic. However, despite that, the film is a fun and decent movie in its own right, and worth a watch regardless of whether or not you’re familiar with the comic it’s based on.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, superhero, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Suicide

-Available on: Hulu

-Creep (2014)

Aaron answers an online ad and drives to a stranger's house to film him for the day. The man claims to want to make a movie for his unborn child, but his requests become more bizarre as the day goes along.

-Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Creep 2 (2017)

A video artist who craves shocking stories realizes she has made a mistake when she meets a serial killer in a cabin.

-Genres: Found footage, horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-The Crow (1994)

Exactly one year after young rock guitarist Eric Draven and his fiancée are brutally killed by a ruthless gang of criminals, Draven – watched over by a hypnotic crow – returns from the grave to exact revenge.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, superhero

-Content warnings: Sexual assault

-Available on: Netflix

-Event Horizon (1997)

A film that could have been great had it not been marred by interference from Paramount, Event Horizon is still a decent entry into the sci-fi horror genre, even if just for the great scenery-chewing by Sam Neill. It’s just a shame that we’ll probably never see a fully uncensored version.

-Genres: Sci-fi horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-The Evil Dead (1981)

Bruce Campbell & friends take a trip out to a cabin in the woods. Hilarity ensues.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: The infamous tree rape scene

-Available on: Hulu

-Evil Dead II (1987)

Bruce Campbell & friend takes a trip out to a cabin in the woods. Even more hilarity ensues.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, horror comedy

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Hulu

-The Exorcist III (1990)

Despite the title, The Exorcist III has very little to do with the original Exorcist film, only given connections to it due to studio imposition. Fortunately, this is a rare case where studio interference didn’t actually negatively affect the film itself much at all, and I strongly recommend it, even if you haven’t seen the original.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Ableism

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Gerald’s Game (2017)

When her husband’s sex game goes wrong, Jessie (who is handcuffed to a bed in a remote lake house) faces warped visions, dark secrets and a dire choice.

-Genres: Psychological horror

-Content warnings: CSA, graphic degloving

-Available on: Netflix

-Ginger Snaps (2000)

The story of two outcast sisters, Ginger and Brigitte, in the mindless suburban town of Bailey Downs. On the night of Ginger’s first period, she is savagely attacked by a wild creature. Ginger’s wounds miraculously heal but something is not quite right. Now Brigitte must save her sister and save herself.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Animal death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Green Room (2015)

A punk rock band becomes trapped in a secluded venue after finding a scene of violence. For what they saw, the band themselves become targets of violence from a gang of white power skinheads, who want to eliminate all evidence of the crime.

-Genres: Horror thriller

-Content warnings: Nazism, racism, N-slurs

-Available on: Netflix

-Hellraiser (1987)

An unfaithful wife encounters the zombie of her dead lover while the demonic cenobites are pursuing him after he escaped their sadomasochistic underworld.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Hereditary (2018)

When Ellen, the matriarch of the Graham family, passes away, her daughter’s family begins to unravel cryptic and increasingly terrifying secrets about their ancestry.

-Genres: Drama, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Animal death, child death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Invitation (2015)

Will and his new girlfriend Kira are invited to a dinner with old friends at the house of Will’s ex Eden and her new partner David. Although the evening appears to be relaxed, Will soon gets a creeping suspicion that their charming host David is up to something.

-Genres: Cult horror, horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Lake Mungo (2010)

One of my personal favorite films in the horror genre, the underappreciated Lake Mungo - creatively presented in a faux-documentary style - is an eerie look at the difficulty of moving on from family loss.

-Genres: Found footage, pseudo-documentary, psychological horror

-Content warnings: CSA

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Mother! (2017)

I hesitated adding this one because to be frank I do not care much for it and Darren Aronofsky, while a talented filmmaker, is a bit of a self-aggrandizing prick and this film demonstrates his pretentiousness more so than any of his past work. But, even so, there’s some legitimately great material here, particularly in the third act when everything goes to shit. If you can look past the extremely heavy-handed bible metaphors and clumsy environmental message, you may get something out of it.

-Genres: Psychological horror, thriller

-Content warnings: Misogynistic violence, graphic baby death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-Nightbreed (1990)

A troubled young man is drawn to a mythical place called Midian where a variety of monsters are hiding from humanity.

-Genres: Dark fantasy

-Content warnings: Eye trauma, F-slur

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Night of the Living Dead (1968)

A group of people try to survive an attack of bloodthirsty zombies while trapped in a rural Pennsylvania farmhouse.

-Genres: Zombie horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video (Public domain, so you should have no trouble finding it elsewhere.)

-Possum (2018)

Long stretches of not much happening are made up for by some truly horrifying puppet sequences which are among the creepiest things I saw in any 2018 film.

-Genres: Drama, psychological horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Pumpkinhead (1988)

A man conjures up a gigantic vengeance demon called Pumpkinhead to destroy the teenagers who accidentally killed his son.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu*

*Audio is slightly out of sync on both streams.

-A Quiet Place (2018)

A family is forced to live in silence while hiding from creatures that hunt by sound.

-Genres: Alien invasion, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu

-The Return of the Living Dead (1986)

When a bumbling pair of employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly gas into the air, the vapors cause the dead to re-animate as they go on a rampage seeking their favorite food: brains!

-Genres: Horror comedy, zombie horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Ritual (2017)

A group of college friends reunite for a trip to the forest, but encounter a menacing presence in the woods that’s stalking them.

-Genres: Cult horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Saw (2004)

Obsessed with teaching his victims the value of life, a deranged, sadistic serial killer abducts the morally wayward. Once captured, they must face impossible choices in a horrific game of survival. The victims must fight to win their lives back, or die trying.

-Genres: Horror thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Hulu

-Saw II (2005)

When a new murder victim is discovered with all the signs of Jigsaw’s hand, Detective Eric Matthews begins a full investigation and apprehends Jigsaw with little effort. But for Jigsaw, getting caught is just another part of his plan. Eight more of his victims are already fighting for their lives and now it’s time for Matthews to join the game.

-Genres: Horror thriller

-Content warnings: Needles

-Available on: Hulu

-Scream (1996)

A killer known as Ghostface begins killing off teenagers, and as the body count begins to rise, one girl and her friends find themselves contemplating the ‘rules’ of horror films as they find themselves living in a real-life one.

-Genres: Slasher

-Content warnings: Rape mention

-Available on: Netflix

-Society (1989)

Containing what I consider to be the greatest special effects Screaming Mad George ever did, Society is a story about the son of a rich Beverly Hills family feeling like he doesn’t quite fit in. If you like body horror, 80s practical effects, and satire about the west coast upper class, I can not recommend this hidden gem enough. Another of my personal favorites.

-Genres: Black comedy, body horror, satire

-Content warnings: Incest and really gross body horror. In general if you’re averse to sex and nudity you may wanna steer clear.

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Suspiria (2018)

I can’t think of many films I hold such a high opinion on that I was initially ready to hate. When I found out that the Call Me by Your Name director would be behind a remake of Dario Argento’s 1977 classic Suspiria, I rolled my eyes. When official photos started to roll in indicating the film would be gory and desaturated in contrast to the original’s surreal usage of exaggerated colors, I decided I wasn’t touching it with a ten foot pole. Fast forward about a year later, and I eventually decide to give the film a chance. Low and behold, not only do I list it as a top film of 2018, I actually, genuinely like it more than the original. While there’s much to be said about the style and color palette of the original film, I find the remake’s radically different tone and style to be still, in a difficult to describe way, faithful to the 1977 original. But most importantly, the film stands on its own as a visceral, nightmarish, violent, and disturbing experience I still haven't stopped thinking about nearly a year later.

-Genres: Body horror, cult horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Suicide, very graphic gore

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-The Terminator (1984)

In the post-apocalyptic future, reigning tyrannical supercomputers teleport a cyborg assassin known as the “Terminator” back to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor, whose unborn son is destined to lead insurgents against 21st century mechanical hegemony. Meanwhile, the human-resistance movement dispatches a lone warrior to safeguard Sarah.

-Genres: Science fiction, thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video, Hulu, YouTube

-They Look Like People (2016)

While held back slightly by its low budget, They Look Like People is one of the best looks at mental illness I’ve seen in a film, especially a horror film, and I’d easily recommend it to anyone tired of the demonization of mental illness in the horror genre.

-Genres: Psychological horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Available on: Amazon Prime Video

-Train to Busan (2016)

Martial law is declared when a mysterious viral outbreak pushes Korea into a state of emergency. Those on an express train to Busan, a city that has successfully fended off the viral outbreak, must fight for their own survival.

-Genres: Thriller, zombie horror

-Content Warnings: N/A

-Available on: Netflix

-Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil (2010)

Two hillbillies are suspected of being killers by a group of paranoid college kids camping near the duo’s West Virginian cabin. As the body count climbs, so does the fear and confusion as the college kids try to seek revenge against the pair.

-Genres: Horror comedy, slasher

-Content Warnings: Rape mention

-Available on: Netflix

-The Witch (2015)

In 1630s New England, William and Katherine lead a devout Christian life with five children, homesteading on the edge of an impassable wilderness, exiled from their settlement when William defies the local church. When their newborn son vanishes and crops mysteriously fail, the family turns on one another.

-Genres: Religious horror, supernatural horror

-Content Warnings: Abuse, animal death, child death, implied CSA

-Available on: Netflix

Not Available on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or Hulu

-Alien (1979)

During its return to the earth, commercial spaceship Nostromo intercepts a distress signal from a distant planet. When a three-member team of the crew discovers a chamber containing thousands of eggs on the planet, a creature inside one of the eggs attacks an explorer. The entire crew is unaware of the impending nightmare set to descend upon them when the alien parasite planted inside its unfortunate host is birthed.

-Genres: Sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Aliens (1986)

When Ripley’s lifepod is found by a salvage crew over 50 years later, she finds that terra-formers are on the very planet they found the alien species. When the company sends a family of colonists out to investigate her story—all contact is lost with the planet and colonists. They enlist Ripley and the colonial marines to return and search for answers.

-Genres: Sci-fi action, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Altered States (1980)

A research scientist explores the boundaries and frontiers of consciousness. Using sensory deprivation and hallucinogenic mixtures from native American shamans, he explores these altered states of consciousness and finds that memory, time, and perhaps reality itself are states of mind.

-Genres: Sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-AM1200 (2008)

A fantastic little horror short film. Officially on Vimeo.

-Genres: Eldritch horror

-Content warnings: Suicide

-Army of Darkness (1992)

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that Army of Darkness isn’t as good as Evil Dead II. They’re full of shit and this movie fucking rules.

-Genres: Dark fantasy, horror comedy

-Content warnings: N/A

-Basket Case (1982)

A young man carrying a big basket that contains his deformed Siamese-twin brother seeks vengeance on the doctors who separated them against their will.

-Genres: Body horror, horror comedy, slasher

-Content warnings: Attempted rape

-Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010)

Deep within the mysterious Arboria Institute, a disturbed girl is held captive by a doctor in search of inner peace. Her mind controlled by a sinister technology. Silently, she waits for her next session with deranged therapist Dr. Barry Nyle. If she hopes to escape, she must journey through the darkest reaches of The Institute, but Nyle wonʼt easily part with his most gifted and dangerous creation.

-Genres: Sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Blair Witch Project (1999)

In October of 1994 three student filmmakers disappeared in the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland, while shooting a documentary. A year later their footage was found.

-Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

Five college friends spend the weekend at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

-Genres: Black comedy, eldritch horror, horror comedy, satire

-Content warnings: N/A

-Christine (1983)

Geeky student Arnie Cunningham falls for Christine, a rusty 1958 Plymouth Fury, and becomes obsessed with restoring the classic automobile to her former glory. As the car changes, so does Arnie, whose newfound confidence turns to arrogance behind the wheel of his exotic beauty. Arnie’s girlfriend Leigh and best friend Dennis reach out to him, only to be met by a Fury like no other.

-Genres: Horror thriller, supernaturally horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Donnie Darko (2001)

After narrowly escaping a bizarre accident, a troubled teenager is plagued by visions of a large bunny rabbit that manipulates him to commit a series of crimes.

-Genres: Drama, psychological thriller

-Content warnings: References to CSA

-The Fly (1986)

When Seth Brundle makes a huge scientific and technological breakthrough in teleportation, he decides to test it on himself. Unbeknownst to him, a common housefly manages to get inside the device and the two become one.

-Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-From Beyond (1986)

A group of scientists have developed the Resonator, a machine which allows whoever is within range to see beyond normal perceptible reality. But when the experiment succeeds, they are immediately attacked by terrible life forms.

-Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: Sexual assault

-Get Out (2017)

Chris and his girlfriend Rose go upstate to visit her parents for the weekend. At first, Chris reads the family’s overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter’s interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he never could have imagined.

-Genres: Horror thriller, psychological horror, satire

-Content warnings: N/A

-Grave Encounters (2011)

I’ll admit that this found footage pseudo-reality show film isn’t all that good, but if you’re like me and you’re a slut for all those dumb Ghost Hunters-type TV shows, this should be right up your alley.

-Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Ableism

-Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)

I’m just going to quote my best friend Lars @dracenines:

there is so much shit in this movie that makes no goddamn sense at all but it's so damn fun that i can't help but love it anyways

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The House of the Devil (2009)

In the 1980s, college student Samantha Hughes takes a strange babysitting job that coincides with a full lunar eclipse. She slowly realizes her clients harbor a terrifying secret.

-Genres: Cult horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

With the disappearance of hack horror writer Sutter Cane, all Hell is breaking loose…literally! Author Cane, it seems, has a knack for description that really brings his evil creepy-crawlies to life. Insurance investigator John Trent is sent to investigate Cane’s mysterious vanishing act and ends up in the sleepy little East Coast town of Hobb’s End.

-Genres: Supernatural horror, eldritch horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-It Follows (2014)

For 19-year-old Jay, fall should be about school, boys and weekends out at the lake. But a seemingly innocent physical encounter turns sour and gives her the inescapable sense that someone, or something, is following her. Faced with this burden, Jay and her teenage friends must find a way to escape the horror that seems to be only a few steps behind.

-Genres: Psychological horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Sexual assault

-Jacob’s Ladder (1990)

A traumatized Vietnam war veteran finds out that his post-war life isn’t what he believes it to be when he’s attacked by horned creatures in the subway.

-Genres: Drama, psychological horror, religious horror, thriller

-Content warnings: N/A

-Jennifer’s Body (2009)

A newly possessed cheerleader turns into a killer who specializes in offing her male classmates.

-Genres: Black comedy, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Keep (1983)

A great seemingly forgotten horror film that was unfortunately never able to be fully finished due to the death of the special effects supervisor early in post-production, and much more to the film’s determent, heavy studio interference, resulting in shoddy sound design and over 100 minutes cut from the movie. Despite this, I still enjoy this film quite a bit, particularly for its fantastic atmosphere and excellent soundtrack by Tangerine Dream.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Nazis

-The Lost Boys (1987)

A mother and her two teenage sons move to a seemingly nice and quiet small coastal California town yet soon find out that it’s overrun by bike gangs and vampires. A couple of teenage friends take it upon themselves to hunt down the vampires that they suspect of a few mysterious murders and restore peace and calm to their town.

-Genres: Horror comedy, supernatural horror, vampire horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Marebito (2004)

A fear-obsessed freelance cameraman investigates an urban legend involving mysterious spirits that haunt the subways of Tokyo.

-Genres: Supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Eye trauma

-The Others (2001)

Grace is a religious woman who lives in an old house kept dark because her two children, Anne and Nicholas, have a rare sensitivity to light. When the family begins to suspect the house is haunted, Grace fights to protect her children at any cost in the face of strange events and disturbing visions.

-Genres: Drama, gothic horror, psychological horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Prince of Darkness (1987)

A research team finds a mysterious cylinder in a deserted church. If opened, it could mean the end of the world.

-Genres: Supernatural horror, zombie horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Resident Evil (2002)

Look, this movie is not great, it doesn’t follow the games, I know. But it’s a guilty pleasure and Milla Jovovitch awakens homosexual feelings in me. Just don’t bother with the sequels. Or do bother with them. Honestly, you could do a lot worse with your time.

-Genres: Action horror, sci-fi horror, zombie horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Sinister (2012)

Found footage helps a true-crime novelist realize how and why a family was murdered in his new home, though his discoveries put his entire family in the path of a supernatural entity.

-Genres: Mystery, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-Spring (2014)

Sci-fi horror romance film about a shapeshifting monster girl. That’s all I need to tell you.

-Genres: Romance, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-Suspiria (1977)

From the moment she arrives in Freiberg, Germany, to attend the prestigious Tanz Academy, American ballet-dancer Suzy Bannion senses that something horribly evil lurks within the walls of the age-old institution.

-Genres: Gothic horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)

One of my favorite found footage films and and a great example of how much potential the genre holds when handled by a director who seems to actually give a shit. To top that off, it features a lesbian lead character who doesn’t die. It’s really that easy!

-Genres: Found footage, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

Five friends visiting their grandfather’s house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer and his family of grave-robbing cannibals.

-Genres: Slasher

-Content warnings: Ableism

-The Thing (1982)

Scientists in the Antarctic are confronted by a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of the people it kills.

-Genres: Alien invasion, body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: Animal death

-Trick ’r Treat (2007)

Four interwoven stories that occur on Halloween: an everyday high school principal has a secret life as a serial killer; a college virgin might have just met the one guy for her; a group of teenagers pull a mean prank; a bitter old recluse receives an uninvited guest.

-Genres: Anthology, black comedy, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-Us (2019)

Husband and wife Gabe and Adelaide Wilson take their kids to their beach house expecting to unplug and unwind with friends. But as night descends, their serenity turns to tension and chaos when some shocking visitors arrive uninvited.

-Genres: Cult horror, sci-fi horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Child death

-V/H/S (2012)

When a group of misfits is hired by an unknown third party to burglarize a desolate house and acquire a rare VHS tape, they discover more found footage than they bargained for.

-Genres: Anthology, found footage, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: Sexual assault

-V/H/S/2 (2013)

While there’s less good to be found in the sequel than in the previous installment, the segment featured in V/H/S/2 titled Safe Haven is easily the best in the entire series and has quickly become one of my favorite horror short films of all time. It alone makes V/H/S/2 a worthwhile watch.

-Genres: Alien invasion, anthology, cult horror, found footage, sci-fi horror, supernatural horror, zombie horror

-Content warnings: References to CSA, eye trauma

-Videodrome (1983)

As the president of a trashy TV channel, Max Renn is desperate for new programming to attract viewers. When he happens upon “Videodrome,” a TV show dedicated to gratuitous torture and punishment, Max sees a potential hit and broadcasts the show on his channel. However, after his girlfriend auditions for the show and never returns, Max investigates the truth behind Videodrome and discovers that the graphic violence may not be as fake as he thought.

-Genres: Body horror, sci-fi horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-The Void (2016)

Cloaked, cult-like figures trap a police officer, patients and staffers inside a hospital that is a gateway to evil.

-Genres: Cult horror, eldritch horror, supernatural horror

-Content warnings: N/A

-What We Do in the Shadows (2014)

Vampire housemates try to cope with the complexities of modern life and show a newly turned hipster some of the perks of being undead.

-Genres: Horror comedy, pseudo-documentary

-Content warnings: One F-slur

#horror #halloween

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sebastianshaw · 4 years

Note

Lovey or naughty fic of shaw and a muse you like like one u just met or have known forever

(Well, this certainly isn’t lovey, and despite references to sex it really isn’t naughty, but this is what came out! Guest starring BLACK MAMBA, a low-key fave of mine.) Black Mamba aka Tanya Sealy, on occasion Tanya Sweet, was a mercenary, model, and professional escort. And as much as she aspired to really make it big as the middle option, it was the last that made the big bucks. Like, mercenary jobs were individually very lucrative, but the problem was making a regular career out of it when you lived in a universe in which super-powered mercs were a VERY common thing, to the point she was actually a member of a union for them! Seriously, she had a pension and everything. So yeah, it was as “Ms. Sweet” that she made most of her money. And honestly? She was fine with that. She went cool places, met lots of interesting people (her dates were seldom those people, but they did often KNOW those people), got free food and great gifts, and the money was good. The sex was like, whatever really, it wasn’t bad, it was pretty neutral. Not the same as fucking someone SHE was hot for, but like, far from the miserable situation a lot of people mentally placed her in. And unlike merc work, she certainly wasn’t risking her life with every job, especially considering her super-powers which could save her in a pinch of one of her clients wasn’t as carefully-vetted as she’d thought. One dude who did make her feel bad about it, though, was Sebastian Shaw. It wasn’t that he asked her to do anything degrading or weird. Despite the fact the guy was apparently quite the kinkster, most of his requests were pretty basic, just hands or mouth stuff. And he wasn’t...mean, per se. He was just so...businesslike. People didn’t realize how much acting went into escort work. You played a character, you put on a show, you created a fantasy. Tanya held conversations with her clients, being as engaging as possible while making them believe SHE found them equally fascinating. She could be the bubbly ditz, the innocent ingenue, the sultry siren, the understanding pseudo-therapist. A lot of guys just wanted to talk, to feel heard, as much as they wanted the physical aspect of their services. Many wanted to feel like they had some kind of relationship with her, the ever-popular “girlfriend experience” as it was called, in which she was paid to spend time with them, play video games with them, watch a movie together, have dinner, do everything a couple would on a nice night in. And some, of course, had much more elaborate, kinkier fantasies in line, entire scripted scenarios they wanted her to run through with precise dialogue and tones and expressions. Point was, it was so much more than just sex. But sex was all Shaw wanted. Which like...okay she couldn’t fault him for...but something about it...she didn’t know. She’d started performing once with him, flirting, asking him questions about this or that thing he’d say, and he’d cut her off stone-cold, “You don’t need to act with me, Ms. Sweet. And I am going to ask you NOT to. I don’t care for it. Just perform the task I paid you for.” Every time. Every time she tried to feign affection or make conversation or even just be PLEASANT, that old asshole told her to cease. It wasn’t that she was TRYING per se, it was just automatic, work-mode, but he wasn’t having any of it. He seemed used to it, though, since he didn’t fire her; she supposed she wasn’t the first working girl (or guy) he’d gotten this from. Tanya knew that technically, he was giving her easy money. She didn’t have to do the extra work of playing a part, she didn’t have to fake anything, it saved her a lot of time that she could use for other things...but it was, she didn’t know, insulting somehow? Like why not just get a street corner gal, sheesh? Her services were expensive for the EXPERIENCE! ...well, and also guarantee she was VD-free, she supposed that was what the old bastard was really concerned about. Which, again, fair, she could NOT fault him for that, just... He felt so cold, was the thing. Sometimes it seemed to Tanya like he didn’t even enjoy what she was doing, like he was just trying to get to sleep or...feel something, maybe, but she didn’t wanna go all armchair psychology on the guy. Some girls thought they really WERE therapists just because clients treated them like it, but Tanya was a bit more realistic, though she did agree there was a lot you could tell about a person based on what they asked for. And what Sebastian Shaw asked for was basically for her to get him off without really touching him at all. As worldly as she was, Tanya was a romantic at heart. She placed a lot of importance on love and sex, not just in her own life, but others. And something about Sebastian Shaw’s just seemed to her to be very, very empty, even among her chronically lonely clientele.

#fic #writing #black mamba #Anonymous

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vertigoambrosia · 4 years

Text

i think i already mentioned i’d fallen into weird sections of youtube, but idk if i actually bothered to talk about who i’m watching

and i need to focus on things other than the country disintegrating so here’s what i’m watching (and why maybe you should watch them too)

General channels

Mochamilk: Pomeranian and Samoyed dogs who are kinda friends. If you like puffballs being cute and a lil ornery, watch them! Also the owners had a baby last fall and she’s old enough to interact with them now!

Recs: like any video? it’s doges

SciShow: videos of various lengths on a plethora of different science topics; they’ve got COVID info updages as well as everythign from “Good News: Daffodils Are The Worst“ to “Beyond Identical or Fraternal: 6 Rare Types of Twins” and even “Why Do We Have Butt Hair?”

They also have an offshoot, SciShow Psych, which is also very good

Expert people

Mama Doctor Jones: Absolutely awesome OBGYN that does videos on womens health and reaction videos to both birth scenes in media and everyone’s favorite weird watch, I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. She’s really knowledgeable and empathetic and i love her and you should follow her

Recs: Ob/Gyn reacts to Womb Simulator, What Your Gyno Needs to Know About Tying Tubes, ObGyn Reacts: Disney Menstruation Education

and of course all of the I didnt know I was pregnant ones

Legal Eagle: Lawyer who currently is doing a lot of real life commentary, but also meme reactions and of course, analysis of film and movie law. He’s also started doing videos about

Recs: Laws Broken: Jurassic Park, Real Lawyer Reacts to Star Trek TNG Measure of a Man, Real Lawyer Reacts to Bee Movie

Corridor Crew‘s VFX Artists React to Bad and Great CGI and Stuntmen React to Bad and Great Hollywood Stunts series. There’s a lot more on their channel about thier VFX and stunt side projects and making of the videos on their main channel, but tbh all I watch are the reacts videos - there’s a whole lot of interesting stuff in there about what makes effects good, both computer generated and practical

Quirky knowledge

TierZoo: Ecology and zoology presented as a series of guides and strategy analyses of a video game called Outside. A little hard to explain, but it’s a super inventive concept

Recs: When Earth Was in Beta, Abusing the Game’s Physics Engine, How Humans Broke the Game, Are Hippos OP?

honestly i have a really hard time limiting myself but those four are a good introduction

Vsauce: ok he’s actually pretty famous and i am very late to the game. He is a strange man who asks weird questions and then answers them, or explains a weird phemonenon you hadn’t heard of before you clicked on the video. This is a bad summary but idk man

Recs: Where Do Deleted Files Go?, A Defense of Comic Sans,

He’s also got a Youtube Premium show about psychology & neurology that fortunately is now free to watch on his channel

u ok, chemists?

NileRed: Organic chemist who looks like he’s 16 doing extractions (getting the active chemical from food or medicine), synthesis of interesting/weird/dangerous chemicals, and demonstrations of chemistry phenomenma with chill explanations of the process and the occasional batshit insane comment presented without warning. Full disclosure: His videos are pretty long and he gets pretty technical, but he does some cool stuff and I can tell you I don’t understand a lot of the chemistry so being a chemist isn’t required to watch them

Recs: Making toilet paper moonshine, You can’t smell metal, Making Soap, Extracting Lidocaine from Anal Lubricant, The Fascinating History of Diabetes Testing

He also has a side channel, Nile Blue, which has videos on safety, being a chemist, cleanup processes, and a bit of just fucking around

Recs: Alkaline water cures everything, How does water put out fire?, I had to break all my beakers

Explosions and Fire: Australian chemist trying to make things that catch fire and go boom, presented in a pseudo shitpost style

also he and his friends ate all the alkali metal salts

He also has Extractions&Ire, which focuses more closely on the actual process and synthesis of the compounds he uses on the main channel. He also recently started a series with chemists in the field about what’s going on in professional chemistry. I actually haven’t watched much of this yet, but I should.

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the-firebird69 · 10 months

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Sen. Markwayne Mullin challenges Teamsters head to a fight: Video | AP News

This is part of what's going on there's a trucking war and it's really from the upper Midwest to the East Coast and the max are having it done so they can shake it out and take the stuff and they're taking other people's stuff and at this time in this process and nobody listens for some reason so Tommy f and the pseudo empire the warlock even foreigners and others won't get anything cuz they just keep in fighting and the TV series The sopranos begins today because of this and his totally soprano and he's going to head to head you can hear it we just can't do anything about it and he's not confused he says he's not having a good time we're all infighting and ruining it and don't care about fighting Max and it is psychological we think they can beat us he says they can be you one at a time and it just doesn't happen the other way so I guess and he got something it's kind of like this shoving match where people are shoving people into the max to try and burn them to try and take their stuff so other people understand that it was in the future but

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

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theliterarywolf · 5 years

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I was planning on keeping on with pokemon (havent played since the OG black ver) with either ultra sun or ultra moon since i tought these two would be a superior version of the original two like the 3rd game of every pokemon (Platinum, Crystal, Emerald and Black/White 2). So i want to know before considering buying either: why do you think they are bad?

Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon are basically the same situation as what happened with Super Mario Galaxy 2: there were one or two left over ideas when the main game was complete, the manpower, online service, and development software wasn’t in-house to support launching said ideas as a DLC expansion pack for 20-30 dollars so they took the base game they already had, made those one or two ideas the forefront, said ‘FUCK YOU, EAT MY ASS AND WRITE A DISSERTATION ON HOW IT TASTES’ to any semblance of a good story, and launched it for the same price as the original Sun and Moon.

You know what Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon add to the core game?

Two clumsy mini-games, a secondary campaign that really does nothing?? Because, at the end of the day, Ultra Necrozma is the definition of a ‘Gimmick Pokemon’, a third campaign that only serves to make the villain team leaders from past games look like idiots, and a complete bullshit retcon of the actually engaging story that vanilla!Sun and Moon produced. Some spoilers I suppose, even though the heyday of these games has long since gone.

And, yes, you should read this in the same tone as one of VivaReveries’ “X But Really Fast” videos.

Vanilla!Sun and Moon: “I’m a grieving woman who, in trying to avoid the grief of losing my husband to the void, I flung myself into researching the strange creatures of a new realm, not knowing that my constant exposure to them is degrading my mental state to the point that I start abusing my son and daughter, and torturing this innocent minor-deity we found in the name of science so I can open up a portal to be with the strange creatures I developed a pseudo-sexual fascination for

But then my daughter steals the minor deity away, goes into hiding, has a game-long coming-of-age development cycle and soon learns to not only develop into her own person but realizes that caring for mentally-unstable relatives may be a thankless feat at times, but the most important thing for you is keeping your own health and mental state in mind, that sometimes means cutting yourself off from their toxicity – oh, by the way, I psychologically manipulated the leader of the local hooligan gang who is going through his own reaction to his troubled relationship with his father and not being allowed to compete in this game’s TOURNAMENT ARC and has imprinted on me in order to cope –

Okay, back to business proper. After climbing a big ass mountain, bumping into the hippie fairy lady (which NEITHER VERSION OF THE GAME DID ANYTHING USEFUL WITH), and summoning either the deity of the Sun or the Moon (though, weirdly enough, the sentimental relationship between said daughter and the cover legendary seems more genuine in Moon than it does in Sun), and after confronting said hooligan gang-leader who finally realizes that I’ve gone CUCKOO FOR KOMALA PUFFS, my daughter and MC confront me in Ultra Space where I’m too busy gushing and fawning over my PRECIOUS, MIND-MELTING, LOVECRAFTIAN JELLYFISH BABIES THAT I’M SO OBSESSED WITH, BY THE WAY, THAT I FORCED SAID DAUGHTER TO WEAR CLOTHES THAT LOOK LIKE THEM,

They challenge me to a battle and I have a FUCKING BADASS HYBRIDIZATION TRANSFORMATION which is admittedly wasted since they just end up fighting my Pokemon. I’m finally defeated by a finishing blow by the cover legendary, I’m near death, but my daughter comes to try and talk to me before I go and my last words of the game, after having this unhealthy fixation with beauty and MIND-MELTING, LOVECRAFTIAN JELLYFISH BABIES and mentally abusing my daughter…

“Lillie… Since when did you become so… beautiful?”

Signifying that this lilly has managed to blossom without the sickening, overbearing greenhouse of her mother’s unstable affections.

Also, there’s a conversation with Hau that you can have that seems to be a Mandela Effect situation because some people swear they got it, others say no, but it let’s you know that Hau is from a broken family as well since his piece of shit dad left home because he was sick of always being in his grandfather’s shadow – Giving the game the overall theme of the Trials and Tribulations of Family.

…

Ultra Sun and Moon: “Hey, guess what? I abused my son and daughter and placed this island nation in mortal danger, not because I was mentally unhinged due to grief and MIND-MELTING, LOVECRAFTIAN JELLYFISH BABIES… But because there’s a giant ‘ORIGINAL OP CHARACTER, DONUT STEEL’ gold dragon in between universes and rather than discuss said threat with the leaders of this island nation, I’m going to jeopardize everything, torture a minor deity, and in the end make everything WORSE because it is my job to save the POOR, STUPID BROWN PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY OBVIOUSLY CAN’T FEND FOR THEMSELVES!!

*deep breath*

Oh, also, I end up getting kidnapped by Giovanni and serving as nothing more than the catalyst to justify the Rainbow Rocket campaign. Lol”

The only thing that USUM have on Vanilla!Sun and Moon is a few extra pseudo-legendaries, the Ultra Wormhole mechanic that allows you to find Pokemon and Ultra Beasts you can’t get in the main campaign, and the UltraSpace characters they introduced for the Ultra Necrozma conflict.

That’s… It.

Jesus Christ, I don’t like Gen 5 but at least Black 2 and White 2 enhanced the gameplay of their core games and gave an interesting story-campaign and antagonist.

Oh, I’m sorry, the other thing you get in USUM is a brief cutscene with your Starter Pokemon before you enter the Championship League. Whoo.

If you want to experience Gen 7 in a good way, gameplay and story-wise, just play the original games. There’s literally no reason to play USUM unless you REALLY want to see Pennywise’s and the Great Wall of China’s Pokesonas.

#Anonymous #replies

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cuddleslutloki · 6 years

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I have a genuine question. How often do you actually deal with antis? I've been following you for a bit now and it seems every so often you bring up antis. I've certainly kept my interest about thorki shut and locked away in a box from my friends for the simple fact that all of them think it's incest. It's not an easy topic of conversation but you just seem to handle all the antis so well? Also on an off note about beast!Thor, his favorite pass time must just be rutting into Loki 24/7 🤔

when someone tells you that you're romanticizing abuse [bc i made a stockholm moodboard for a fic] I don't know what I'm supposed to say other than I don't condone it but I write about it? Is writing about abusive relationships bad in writing??? you're the only person i ask for advice so thank you for anything in advance

i’m honestly really glad you came to me. i really do like discussing this topic in this kind of way bc i’ll never reblog an anti or answer an anti ask. even if you’re arguing against them, i don’t think it’s worth it to argue against them if it means also spreading what they’re saying

the basic premise of all anti behavior and ideology is censorship. that’s all it is.

“i don’t like this topic, you need to stop writing it and making art for it. if you don’t stop there will be consequences.”

that is censorship and that is the kind of shit fandom has had to fight ever since there’s been fandom. women, poc, lgbt+ folks have been dealing with people telling us what we can and can’t write and enjoy for... well, probably forever. but we’re still here, creating the kind of content we want to see and indulge in.

as far as how to deal with antis, my advice is to ignore, ignore, ignore. they want what any bully wants: attention

you stop paying attention, you stop giving them time they don’t deserve from you, they’ll die off. there’s no point in fighting them directly. produce the content you want to see and enjoy what you want to enjoy. drown them out. you don’t owe them a response just because they come to you. they don’t have any qualms about being rude to you, so be rude back and just ignore them. i love blocking antis, personally. take out the garbage, y’know?

antis use the words ship and support as synonyms because they think that shipping is some radical call to action for lgbt rep instead of entertainment

shipping is not activism. shipping is about entertainment and enjoyment, nothing more

so this is why i have this very blasé attitude about antis. i just don’t give a fuck about them beyond making posts trashing their idiocy. because that’s what it is. it’s idiocy, but going deeper it’s puritanism at its finest. antis use fox news scare tactic logic under the guise of some pseudo feminist agenda because they don’t understand and don’t want to understand that enjoying dark fiction as entertainment isn’t equivalent to some greater moral stance

they use the same argument about shipping and fanfiction that WASP moms use against video games and loud music: that enjoying and consuming it will make you think it’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with it irl

okay, well, vlad the impaler never played CoD or far cry and caligula never watched hentai but we know why i’m bringing them up in this context without even heading over to wikipedia, don’t we?

they use the words abuse and pedophilia waaaaaayy too liberally and they’re doing more harm than good because they’re twisting and warping words that should have very specific meanings by using them so goddamn vaguely and irresponsibly

my own personal theory is that these people are terrified that if they don’t yell in opposition to these topics 24/7 and actively attack content creators that they’d probably enjoy it, and they’ve been so programmed by the echo chamber of tumblr and twitter that they think this means they’re bad people.

spoiler alert: that’s not what it means

i literally watched a circle jerk on twitter where screenshots of some mafia starker au got tweeted and retweeted w/ pictures of someone pouring bleach into cereal and people had asked to see more of the post. if you really don’t like something, you shouldn’t hate-read about it. it’s not productive, it does more harm than good if that’s the actual issue rather than some reverse psychology-style enjoyment they’re probably getting out of it.

they claim to hate this shit so much, but they’re reading hundreds and thousands of words and putting these images in their heads of their own free will. i don’t do that with shit i genuinely dislike. i avoid it.

i see antis say they enjoy thorki fanart because they think it’s cute, then they see it’s tagged thorki and they have an over the top reaction because the nature of anti ideology states you should never enjoy something like that, so if you do then you have to make the excuse of ignorance to prove that you’re still innocent and pure. enjoyment is apologism to them because they aren’t content to simply attack fan creators, they want to try and drive away the people who consume our art as well because they know you’re the cornerstone of fandom. consumers are why creators create. yeah, i write because i enjoy it, but i also write to connect to my readers and have people commenting on my fics when they like them.

it’s also worth noting that antis only ever talk about shipping. they only talk about sexual and romantic ships. i’ve never seen an anti talk about (often extreme) levels of violence in canon source material for the ships and characters they want to froth at the mouth over.

seeing someone bleed out and choking on their own blood after being stabbed or shot or bludgeoned? meh

seeing a character who was once a child have a sexual thought about a character who was also once a child and is also their close friend? omg why are we trying to make fandom unsafe for people?

personally, i’ve also noticed that fandoms with darker canon material tend to have more chill fandoms most of the time. i think it also depends on the average age in a given fandom. there’s a major difference between fannibals and steven universe fans, let’s just say that.

creating a moodboard for a dark fic is not “romanticizing abuse” and at this point antis honestly have no fucking idea what that phrase is. they use those words the way a bored CEO uses social media buzzwords and hashtags in a staff meeting

if antis want to see true romanticizing of abuse then they can go to serial killer thirst tags and spot the fucking differences between shippers and people who forget that ted bundy was weak, flaccid, cowardly piece of shit

writing something dark or violent or whatever else and condoning the act or doing the act are different. this is why stephen king isn’t under government surveillance or in prison.

make no mistake, this anti shit only applies to fandom. they’re attacking creators here because creators out at the professional levels don’t give a fuck. they’ve tried, and they’ve failed.

creators at the professional level understand something antis don’t: that being able to reconcile your enjoyment of dark media can be a sign of emotional intelligence and good emotional health. it’s cathartic. it’s allowed to be cathartic.

the most common consumers of dark fiction are members of minority communities and people who’ve been emotionally and/or sexually repressed for one reason or another.

antis want to say that fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and they are 100% correct! because writing fanfiction and original fiction that relates to parts of my life that nearly killed me gives me control over something that was beyond me in the original context. writing about fucked up codependent, violent romance allows me to process my shit in a way that’s healthy and produces something fun and enjoyable.

my therapist knows i ship thorki, she knows i write thorki. i’ve had her read pieces of fanfiction i’ve written in addition to pieces of original fiction. y’know what she said? “wow, baylen, that’s vivid. you have a way with words!”

i read her a line out of smart boy and told her what the story was about and this trained professional said “well it’s a productive way to process some emotion that you clearly need to let out”

but you know what? if someone doesn’t have the trauma i have? let them write it, too! let them create and enjoy the fictional content they want! more cake, y’all!

finally getting around to one of the first parts of your ask, lol. thorki is incest. thor and loki are brothers. they were raised believing they were blood brothers, even. loki being adopted doesn’t change a thousand years of personal history where thor looked at loki and thought that they came out of the same woman, y’know?

that’s his brother and in the comics his attachment to loki is even more intense. the mcu nerfed that shit. loki’s life has been intrinsically tied to thor’s ability to feel a full sense of joy.

enjoying an incest ship isn’t some sign of moral depravity. writing abusive relationships isn’t bad. gone girl was made into an award winning movie. art should look like life, and sometimes life fucking sucks. dark stories, sad stories, fucked up holy shit idk if i can go to sleep after i read this stories exist for a reason. we need them. we have to have an outlet for our frustration, our anger, and especially our fear.

so which is the healthier option of these

to write up a piece of fanfiction where two siblings are in love in a way that might be cute and soft or might be destructive, depending on your mood?

attacking strangers you don’t know online and threatening violence against anyone who doesn’t think like you do?

i know what kind of person i want to be.

ship and let ship, thanks for reading my doctoral thesis office hours are always

#anon #baylen chats

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