#they just deadpan at a joke and go “oh no that was funny i am internally laughing” while crickets are chirping

[premamelody]

them!!!

the moment for when everyone in your family is taller than you (skill issue should've been built taller)

lore doc

[flynnriderishot]

What about reader being an influencer who's expressed her interest in matt as a joke with her friends in a video and it circulates everywhere AND THEN! Nick or matt or chris sees it and likes it and then they meet at a party or smthng and reader tries her best to absolutely ignore them but it doesn't work ! Something a bit humorous LOVE U SO MUCH RAH

cute - m.s

a/n: i am 100000% so so so sorry. i didn’t realize i wasn’t following your request fully until i came to post on tumblr 🤦🏾‍♀️ i did the first part of your request the way you asked but when i got halfway, i kind of went completely off whatever came to mind. again, i’m so sorry 😭 i can rewrite it if you don’t like it…. i hope you enjoy it tho

not proofread :(

“how do you stay so positive?” y/f/n read off her phone screen, pulling your attention away from your own device.

“um…delusion.” you smiled at the camera, earning a snorting laughter from the girl behind the camera.

you could see her eyes water at the response. your face fell, though a small twitch of your lip let the viewers know you were about to joke with her,

“it is not that funny. relax, girl.”

she rubbed her eyes, her laughter slowly fading away, yet the smile was prominent on her face, “come on.”

“next question.”

“okay, this a good one. who’s your celebrity crush?”

you took a second to think about it before answering, “he isn’t really a celebrity, but if i were to go ‘famous’, i guess…i would probably say matt sturniolo. he’s really cute, but if we’re talking like, actors and shit, then dylan obrien is the way to go.”

your answer was so vague that you didn’t think it would cause too much of a big impact, but as you glanced behind the camera at your friend, you couldn’t help but take note of the wide eyed look she sent in your direction.

“what?”

she shrugged her shoulders, “nothing. moving on.”

•••

“…then dylan obrien is the way to go.”

chris snorted at the video, his thumb moving him to the comments before he could even think about it.

his eyes narrowed as he read them.

sturniolosqueen bae knows matt?? we’re screwed 😭

| lovelysturn she knows vinnie too 😭💀

| secretlysturniolo yn is not worried about any of y’all, i promise 😭

ynsbabygurl imagine they saw this

floweryln YN, LOVER. THE STURNIOLO FANDOM IS HERE!! TAKE THIS DOWN ‼️‼️

notasturn dammit.

luckilyyn matt being her crush is the highlight on my year

| sturnonfire that’s concerning….

sturnioloscolby “delusion.” IM PEEING 😭

ynsgoddess YN KNOWS THE TRIPLETS ⁉️

| nickssturn NICK WATCHES HER VIDEOS TOO

chris has heard of the girl before, but never really watched her videos since her content wasn’t really directed towards guys like him. but he knew for a fact that he’s heard yn’s voice coming from his older brothers room.

“hey, nick?!”

“what.” the eldest triplet deadpanned, walking into the living room where his brother sat.

“you know her?”

nick didn’t give it much thought as he looked at chris’ screen as he passed, “yeah, that’s yn. she’s a youtuber, why?”

“she likes matt.”

“who likes me?” the man himself walked into the room.

“yn ln.”

nick’s eyes widen, a sudden peak of interest flooding his veins, “oh my god. really?”

“is that not what i just said?”

“i heard what you said, i just didn’t understand it at first.”

“that makes no sense, nick.” chris scoffed, absentmindedly handing his phone off to matt as he and nick started an argument.

“it makes perfect sense.”

matt drowned out the conversation happening between the two, watching the video over for the third time before speaking, “she’s pretty.”

nick glanced at him, “right? what i would do to have her skin.”

matt raised his brow in agreement. you didn’t have nice skin.

“i sent her some lip balm, i’m wondering if she’s got it yet.”

“what does your lip balm have to do with her looks?” chris tried to rile his brother up again.

“stop talking to me.”

matt rolled his eyes, shaking his head softly as he went to his tiktok, just then noticing the amount of posts he was tagged in that mentioned you as well.

your video hadn’t even been out for a full day yet and there were already edits of you two.

one in particular got his attention with song, MMM HMM by Lancey Foux and the ‘boaf’ audio in the beginning of it.

without much thinking, he double tapped the edit, doing some more scrolling through the app before he eventually got bored and went to play a game in his bedroom.

what he wasn’t aware of was the uproar one like would cause between two fandoms.

•••

you sat at your desk, ipad in hand with your phone propped up against a bottle as you were on instagram live.

you were talking to your viewers whilst scrolling through videos they tagged you in. your eyes were bright with happiness at the edit of you to Tipsy by Miss Luxury.

“you guys are too sweet.” you liked the video, moving your eyes back to your phone screen to see an interesting chunk of comments come in almost all at once. “i can’t read all the comments guys, slow down.”

| go to the slaybaeyn acc! they make hella edits of you bae

| yn x sturniolo triplets when???

| LIKE MY EDIT PLEASE

| YN MATT SAW YOUR VIDEO

| hearing you like dylan obrien makes me feel like my soul is connected to you

“i’m not connected to anyone’s soul. don’t wish that on me.” your eyes widen, unsure whether or not the person was joking. one thing you didn’t play around with was spirits and voodoo stuff.

| lmaooo 😭😭

| PLEASE 💀

of course, anyone new to your fandom would have thought you were being rude, but your followers have gotten used to your humor over the years.

the ones having the chance to meet you in person have confirmed that you were just a naturally awkward and dry humored person.

it’s why people loved you so much.

“oh my god, i almost forgot. guys, guess what?”

without even looking at the comments, your eyes moved around your desk in search for something in particular.

“SpaceCamp sent me stuff!” the excitement in your voice had your viewers gushing.

while you made a lot of jokes and did very well when it came to getting other people laughing, it was hard for your supporters to find clips of you showing you were having a good time doing something. a lot of the time, your features were very sarcastic and ‘dry’ so this moment was almost revolutionary.

| her smile 😭🫶

| yn’s yearly happy clip ‼️

| she’s too cute, i can’t.

| SPACECAMP⁉️ AS IN THE STURNIOLO TRIPLETS ⁉️ AS IN NICK ⁉️AS IN MATT ‼️⁉️

| why are y’all acting like she’s unhappy all the time? the girl just has a dry sense of humor and a resting bitch face 🌝

| YN DID YOU SEE THAT CHRIS SAW THE CLIP OF YOU SAYING YOU LIKED MATT???!‼️‼️

“chris saw me saying i have a crush on his brother?” you placed the box of lip balm in your lap, your face falling slightly. “why the fuck didn’t you guys tell me this sooner?”

| y’all done made her mad 🙄

| HE LIKED AN EDIT OF YOU GUYS TOGETHER

| we’ve been tagging you bae 😫🤷‍♀️

you squinted your eyes, looking side to side before sighing softly, “don’t play with me.”

nicolassturniolo has joined the live!

“even when i trust you guys, i can’t trust you guys. i didn’t get tagged in shit.”

| NICKS HERE

| NICKKKK

| HI, NICK

nicolassturniolo you got the package!! i hope you enjoy it

“hi, nicolas.” you vaguely greeted, pretending you weren’t internally freaking out over his presence. “i haven’t tried them yet but i love the packaging. thank you so much for sending it.”

nicolassturniolo so glad you like it 🤭

nicolassturniolo add me

it took a few seconds for the live to connect but nick was now in your live, his face showcasing his happiness.

“NICKKK.”

“YN”

matthew.sturniolo has joined the live!

| HIIIIIMATTT

| MATTYYY

even if you wanted to pretend you didn’t see the comments, the shyness that suddenly took over you let the people know that you were aware of matt joining the live.

matthew.sturniolo the edit by sturnioloxyn on tiktok goes crazy

“matt, shut up.” nick said, residing his brothers comment before directing his attention to you, “so, what’s this i hear about you having a crush on my brother?”

your face pulled into a wince, “oooh. let’s not talk about that.”

“no let’s talk about it.” nick laughed, adjusting his body so he was laying stomach flat on his end.

“oh my god.”

matthew.sturniolo i think you’re cute too by the way 😉

taglist:

@hearts4chris @timmyandsturniolo @mayhem-72 @luvsturns

[444lec33]

The Arrangement // Mafia!Lando x Reader Pt. 4

Series master list can be found here

Summary: Your wedding night with Lando shows you a side of him he'd rather keep hidden

WC: 2.7k

Warnings: typical banter between Lando and reader, mentions of physical injuries, Lando doing mafia stuff, there's only on bed trope

No descriptions of reader's physical appearance

Author's note: Lando nose scar enthusiasts this is for us!! 🧡

“You know you still haven’t told me where we’re going for our honeymoon.” 

Lando’s eyes remained fixed on the road. 

“Wait. Are we even going on a honeymoon? Do you get to take vacations from crime?” You teased turning to look at your new husband. 

“Very funny,” he deadpanned but a smile broke through. “And yes, I’m taking you somewhere, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t.” His eyes looked at you seriously. 

You sat back as Lando continued to drive. It was only then that you realized you hadn’t packed anything. You were too concerned with the loss of your freedom to plan outfits. 

“I don’t have luggage, we can’t go now.” 

“We’re not leaving now, we’re heading to the hotel.” 

At that your eyes widened, you turned to face your new husband. “Hotel tonight then honeymoon. I would take you back to mine for the night but that side chick you mentioned before is still there.” 

“Not funny, didn’t laugh.”

Lando couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Just relax, we’ll be there soon.” 

☽☽☽☽☽☽☾☾☾☾☾☾

You found yourself in the most lavish hotel you’d ever seen. Lando clearly spared no expenses for tonight. You’d done a full tour of the luxurious space while Lando took a call in a different room. When he returned you were sitting by the window taking in the beautiful view of the city at night. 

“You did good, but you forgot something.” 

“Did I?” Lando questioned as he removed his jacket.

“Mhmm, there’s only one bed.”

Lando was quiet for so long you had to turn and look at him. The two of you stared at each other saying nothing. You were the one to break the silence. 

“You can sleep on the floor. Although that chair over there does look pretty comfy,” you pointed at a lush velvet accent chair in the corner of the bedroom. “The bathtub in the en suite is another option. Not too sure how comfortable marble is but I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Lando rolled his eyes as he kicked off his shoes. “I’m sleeping in this bed.”

You shook your head crossing your arms over your chest. “No, I’m sleeping in this bed so you can’t.” 

Lando was clearly enjoying this argument. “If you were rational you’d just agree to share it. All that tells me is you clearly don’t have the self control to sleep beside me.”

Was this man insinuating that you were thirsty? Oh no. 

“Hah. I didn’t realize you were a comedian. Nice joke.” Now you were standing right in front of the man you’d just married. “I can keep my hands to myself just fine, thanks.” 

Lando leaned back, elbow propped against the soft duvet. “So prove it.” His dimples were showing as he spoke. “Get in the bed.” 

His hand found yours and he attempted to pull you closer. You swatted him away. “ I have to shower and so do you.”

“That sounds good. I usually like the water a bit colder but I know women prefer hot water,” he said while unbuttoning his dress shirt.  

You looked at him with wide eyes. “I am not showering with you.” Your disbelief at his assumption was evident in your tone. 

“Well if you change your mind...” he winked, backing into the en suite. You heard the water running as you collected everything you needed from your suitcase. 

Once you’d showered and carried out your nightly routine you returned to the bedroom to find Lando lounging comfortably on the bed. 

When he noticed you he smiled, flipping back the covers and patting the spot next to him. “Come join me.” You rolled your eyes but obeyed having had enough of your new husband’s antics for one day. 

For the rest of the night you found yourself actually enjoying Lando’s company. The two of you fell into easy conversation that carried on throughout the night. Eventually you selected a movie to watch as the two of you comfortably lounged in the bed you’d finally decided to share. 

“What is that?” Lando questioned looking at your dessert that room service had just delivered. 

“It’s ice cream,” you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“It’s green,” he said looking slightly mortified. 

“It’s pistachio and it’s delicious.” You dipped your spoon in and offered it to him. Lando suspiciously eyed the frozen treat before reluctantly accepting a taste. 

“A criminal who’s afraid of food coloring,” you laughed at your own joke. “How did I get so lucky?” 

Lando rolled his eyes at you as he got comfortable in the bed. He grabbed the remote control from the nightstand and switched the TV to something different. You asked him to put on The Proposal, your favorite romcom.

You drifted off into a peaceful sleep, Lando’s arm thrown protectively over your waist as the two of you slept. 

You’d fallen into such a deep sleep that the noise around you barely caused you to stir. The bedside light being switched on was enough to pull you from your dreams causing you to rub at your eyes as your vision adjusted. You stretched your hand out across the warm bed, not liking the emptiness you found on the other side. 

Now fully awake, you sat up. Casting your eyes to the other end of the room you saw Lando, phone pressed to his ear as he pulled on clothes. He was trying his hardest to be quiet but evidently his efforts were in vain. He was speaking in a rushed tone when his eyes caught yours. 

“Shit.” He shifted the phone to his other ear before quickly ending the call. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you but-“

“What the hell is going on?” You wanted answers for your new husband’s erratic behavior. You tapped on your phone screen unsurprised to find that it was still the very early hours of the morning. The sun hadn’t even risen yet.

“I’ve um, I’ve gotta go.”

“And where exactly are you going? The sun isn’t even up.” 

Lando sighed, clearly not wanting to get into it with you. “Somethings come up and I have to take care of it. Go back to sleep. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

The look on your face told your husband you weren't entirely sold on his words. Lando sat on the side of the bed, his hand coming up to rest on your knee. “Some of my men are outside. They’re going to make sure you’re safe. If you need anything let them know. Don’t go anywhere until I get back.” 

You rolled your eyes at Lando’s words. If there was one thing he still had to learn about you it was the fact that you hated being told what to do. You’d spent your entire life living under the direction of others and you refused to have the same rules apply to your marriage. 

“Lando, I am a grown woman. I can do whatever I want to. How do you expect me to listen when you won’t even tell me what the hell is happening?” 

“It’s for your own good,” Lando stated refusing to budge on the issue. 

“Yeah, whatever.”

Lando drew closer, leaning into you. He placed soft kissed on your forehead and nose before ending at your lips. “How am I supposed to keep you safe if you won’t listen to me? Be a good little wife and do what I’m asking of you.”

You were going to speak but Lando stopped you, his thumb coming up to trace your bottom lip. “Get some beauty sleep. I’ll be back, I promise.”

A successive round of knocks at the door startled you. You could hear men calling your husband’s name, alerting you to how urgent the matter truly was. 

Lando stood up, he reached into the nightstand and pulled out a weapon you had no idea he’d stashed there. He tucked it away in his waistband as a marched towards the door. 

“Lando!” You shouted his name as he opened the door. “Just… be careful, okay?” He nodded at you, a tired smile on his face. 

And with that the door slammed. You were all alone. Alone on your wedding night nonetheless. How did you get so lucky?

☽☽☽☽☽☽☾☾☾☾☾☾

Sleep proved to be a futile task as you found yourself tossing and turning in the large bed, unable to find comfort. You groaned as you tossed the covers off of you and found your phone. There was no point in texting your friends if you couldn’t explain the situation to them anyways. You didn’t even bother to reach out to your parents. They knew exactly what they’d sighed you up for and clearly couldn’t care less.

You sent Lando a few texts not expecting him to respond but hoping he would. You opened your camera roll and scrolled through some of the photos from your wedding. It truly was a beautiful event. You if your grandmother was right you might actually remember it as one of the best days of your life.

You selected a few photos you wanted to share on Instagram. You tried but failed again at reaching Lando before your eyelids grew heavy and you clicked your phone off. Sleep finally won you over.

You weren’t sure what time it was or how long you’d been asleep when the sound of the door opening roused you. In walked Lando who tried his hardest to avoid you hoping to make it into the bathroom before you noticed his arrival. 

“Hey! What happened?” You questioned sitting up in the bed more alert than ever. 

Lando stopped in his tracks at the sound of your voice, a sigh emanating from his lips. 

“Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” You rolled your eyes as you tossed the covers off of you and sprang to your feet. 

“Seeing how I have no intentions of becoming a widow anytime soon I’d like to know what’s going on with my husband.” You grabbed Lando’s arm forcing him to face you. You were caught off guard by the sight of the man in front of you. 

“Oh my…” you trailed off as your hands covered your mouth in shock. What exactly had he been up to these last few hours? Your breath hitched as you reached out to grasp Lando’s chin. You turned his face every which way taking in the sight of him. 

“It’s nothing,” he whispered still avoiding your gaze. 

“I don’t like being lied to.” When he reached to pull your hand away from his face you noticed the horrid state his hands were in. His knuckles were bruised, purple and blue hues appearing through the skin. You quickly took his hands in yours examining the damage. That was when you noticed the blood.

“Don’t worry, it’s not mine,” Lando joked as he anticipated your unasked question. 

You sighed deeply wishing your new husband would take this more seriously. “I’m never going to get used to this.” 

With the way you grew up you weren’t naive to what the mafia entailed. You knew just how dangerous the shady dealings could be and the harm it could inflict on anyone involved. Memories of your own father coming home at odd hours battered, bruised, and angrier than usual crowded your thoughts. 

You shook your head trying your best to steer clear of those thoughts. You were a newlywed. This should not be your reality. 

“Alright come on,” you grabbed Lando’s arm and tugged him into the bathroom. You ordered him to sit on the small bench next to the large marble bathtub. You sifted through the small medical bag you’d packed shoving aside a number of tampons and pads before finding bandaids. You set them on the sink as you wet a rag with warm water. 

You leaned down grabbing Lando’s chin so that he faced you. You carefully dabbed at the bloody cut that graced the bridge of his nose. “If I ask, will you tell me?” You raised an eyebrow already knowing the answer. 

A cheeky grin spread across Lando’s face as you tended to him. “You’re too pretty to worry about my problems.” You rolled your eyes not even bothering to respond. You noticed the discomfort on your husband’s face as he grabbed at his side. 

“Let me see,” you motioned to the area that was evidently causing him pain. Lando hesitated before reluctantly lifting his shirt. A dark bruise was beginning to form on one side of his ribs. 

“It’s worse than it looks,” he joked. “I’ll just shower and I’ll be fine, you don’t have to take care of me.”

You scoffed at his words. “You were the one that wanted to try and make this work now you’re asking me to leave you alone when you clearly need help.” Nope. You were doubling down. 

“Take off your clothes.”

If there was one thing Lando never expected you to say that was it. His eyes widened in shock at your serious expression. “You don’t waste any time do you.” 

You shook your head as you reached for the handle on the bathtub and began drawing a bath. “You should know by now that I don’t like repeating myself.” Your back was turned to him as you poured a bit of bubble bath into the tub. 

“Yes ma’am.”

You could hear the sound of Lando undressing as you shut off the water, swirling your hand around the tub to make sure the temperature was fine. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you heard the sound of his belt coming undone, the buckle clanking against the tiles. 

Do not turn around. Do not turn around. Do not turn around.

“You’ll be joining me, right?” 

Why was he like this. 

You stood with your back still facing him, your eyes now covered by your hand. “Just get in.” 

The soft sound of Lando’s laugh filled the room as he finally got into the water. “You can open your eyes now. I think you’ll quite like what you see.”

He was not making this easy for you. Your diverted your gaze as you made your way to the door hoping to put some space between the two of you. 

“You said you were gonna take care of me. How are you going to do that from the other room.” His mischievous tone made you stop in your tracks. Against your better judgement you found yourself staying in the room. Two can play at this game. 

You located your shower gel and a washcloth before lowering yourself beside the tub. Why not have some fun with this.

You tried your best not to stare at the water droplets that dotted his tanned chest but you couldn’t help but enjoy the view. Lando was quick to pick up on your lust filled gaze. “At least we’re attracted to each other. That just makes life easier for the both of us.” Lando continued as you lathered up the washcloth. “It’ll make for a fun honeymoon as well.” 

You opted to ignore the insinuation behind his words. “Let me see your hands.” You began tending to the battered skin on his fingers, washing away blood in the process. 

“Where are you taking me anyways?”

His dimples appeared as he spoke, “It’s a surprise.”

Of course it was. “I need to know what to pack. Warm weather, cold?”

“Definitely warm.”

You continued washing his cuts and bruises before you were satisfied with your work. You stood up, tossing a towel in his direction. “I think you can manage the rest.” 

And with that you were on your way back into the bedroom. Land appeared several minutes later, towel wrapped around his waist. You tried to ignore him as you gazed out the window taking in the sight of the risen sun. 

“Are you hungry?” 

The question seemed to catch Lando off guard as you turned to him. He was now dressed only in a pair of gray sweats. He sauntered over to the bed and laid down. He beckoned you over and you didn’t protest. His bandaged fingers graced the exposed skin along your waist as you laid beside him. 

“Now that you mention it, breakfast in bed with my wife does sound pretty perfect.” 

☽☽☽☽☽☽☾☾☾☾☾☾

Author's note: Did you like the update? Let me know if you want part 5.

Tag list Lmk if you'd like to be added or removed from it

@poppyflower-22

@jfang97

@1273lucifer1273

@timmychalametsstuff

@honethatty12

@sillyfreakfanparty

@formulaal

@blckgrl-sunflower

@2pagenumb

@notturlover

@dr4gOngirl

@noreri

@randomnessis-mine-me

@yl90

@livelovesports

@halaxxxx

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@cmleitora

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@kirajessie

@fullmugwolffish

@lovehollandy12

@gabbytaa

@leclercia

[artemismoorea03]

DP x DC Prompt: I Couldn't Just Let Him Die

So one thing I don't think is touched on enough is the fact that Danny never wanted to be a hero. Like, yeah, we all know he didn't want o be a hero and he makes a joke about it but when we actually think about it this was a life he choose because nobody else was there to help. The main reason?

He didn't want people to get hurt.

Something Batman would relate to.

Now, while I love the idea of Danny absolutely beating the shit out of Joker or any villain who absolutely deserves to have their shit rocked by a kid who is only 5'5" and weighs at most 120 pounds, when we actually think about Danny's character what's more likely? Again, no hate to any of the people who do those fics, keep it up, I love seeing Joker get his just deserts.

But hear me out.

Warnings for fighting, violence, and DC typical weapons.

There was a new meta in Gotham and he was driving Bruce crazy. This kid showed up out of the blue with absolutely no information on him anywhere online or otherwise with tech so outdated not even Oracle could hack it. The only thing Bruce knew about the kid was that he called himself 'Phantom' and that he was a teenager around 14 years old.

Other than that the kid had been a pain in the ass.

Muggings? Phantom took care of it by saving the person then lecturing the person until a Bat or police showed up then literally vanished.

Fires? Phantom would fly in and out of burning buildings repeatedly with no care for his own safety. No mask, no fire protection, nothing but the thin suit he wore.

Kidnappings? Don't worry, Phantom had it handled long before Batman could even get the call to help! EVEN WHEN IT WAS ONE OF HIS OWN KIDS WHO GOT KIDNAPPED!

Granted, Phantom never got in the way of a fight but the amount of evidence that was lost due to what he was doing and how he was doing it was inconvenient. Fingerprints got wiped, evidence of what started fires were covered in an unmeltable ice, kidnappers took off the second their captive was freed and were practically untraceable after that.

It wasn't until a massive Arkham breakout that he actually got to properly meet the kid. Every prisoner had broken out and the city plunged into madness as heroes ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. Villains against heroes, criminals verse vigilantes, villains verses criminals - it was a madhouse.

Batman could hardly keep track of it all but when one of Penguin's men threw a bomb into a crowd and it landed near Joker's feet there was a long silence. It was like the city had fallen silent all around him as Batman tried to get to the bomb.

Joker was a villain.

Joker had hurt his family, killed millions of innocents including his own son, but he was sick. He didn't deserve to die.

Apparently Phantom agreed because he flew faster than Batman could track him shoving Joker away from the bomb before encasing the bomb in ice.

"Hey! What's the big idea shovin' me, bub?!" Joker said, seemingly forgetting about the bomb that was still in the kids hand. Joker walked right up to Phantom, glaring down at the shorter male who just looked at him. "Think you're some kind of hero?!"

Phantom blinked, "I feel like answering that is a trap."

Joker grabbed Phantom by the front of his shirt, "A funny guy, huh? Think you can out joke the Joker?"

"Again. That feels like a trap. I'm not trying to do anything, Clowny. But I wasn't about to let you die."

Joker glared, "Why?"

Phantom slipped out of Joker's hands somehow, much to Joker's confusion. "Because that's not who I am. Criminal or not, I'm not going to let you die if I can protect you."

"Who says I need protection?"

Phantom held up the bomb again with a deadpan look. "Lucky guess." He said, then suddenly noticed something to his right. "Oh, gotta go. Later Clowny."

"IT'S JOKER!" Joker shouted after Phantom as he flew away. "Batman! Teach your baby bats some manners!"

"He's not mine, Joker." Batman said, marching over, grabbing Joker's wrists and cuffing them behind his back.

Not yet anyway. But with a mentality like that... maybe this pain in the ass could learn a thing or two from a Bat.

[qtboni]

Hello, bonnie! 👋 May I please request something for the TF141 boys and König (bcz i luv him) where reader got dem cold ass hands and hugs them?

HELLO DEAR ANONNIE !! THIS WAS SO CUTE OMG IM BLUSHING SO HARD . also i might have favored könig's part a lil bit HSJDHDJ cus i wuv him too dwdw ANYW HERE YOU GO <3

╰﹒ 𝐇𝐔𝐆 𝐌𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄 !

PAIRING: Task Force 141 Members X Gn!Reader

OVERVIEW: Cold hands for Cuddles <33

C/W: Entirely fluff! + kissies and huggies, little suggestive at Soap's part .

── ◜‹3◞  CAP.N JOHN PRICE :

"Oh, don't worry about that. These hands have withstood much worse."

It's a cold evening, and John is snuggled up on the couch with you, watching a movie and holding hands. He can feel the way you're trying to squeeze all the warmth you can from his hands, but they're already freezing.

Then, he noticed that your hands were undeniably cold and couldn't help but chuckle. "Mmm, looks like we've got a couple of ice cubes over here." he said, mimicking a shiver as you watch him.

"Hey!" you exclaimed and smacked his shoulder playfully, feeling the warm, soft texture of his shirt. He chuckled and squeezed your hands tighter together with his, and wraps his free arm around you, pulling you closer. He holds you in his strong arms, and had you sitting on his lap, and you can't help but feel a sense of comfort and safety.

"Don't worry, sugar," John replied, nuzzling into your neck. "These hands have been through a lot, but they're always there for you, just like I am."

You hug him back, feeling grateful for his love and warmth. John can feel the way you lean into him, as if he's your anchor in this ever-changing world. He knows then and there that he will always be there for you and that your love will never fade, even in the chilliest nights. You feel his beating heart, as if it keeps his love for you alive, even after all these years.

"You're the best," you said, snuggling closer to him.

"Of course I am," he replied with a smug grin. "But let's not forget that without me, you'd be lost in this cold, oh such cruel world. I'm your knight in shining armor, saving you from the perils of winter."

You can't help but laugh at his witty response. "You're a dork," you said, smiling.

"I know," he said, holding you tighter. "But I'm your dork, sugar. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

You feel his warm breath on your neck, as if he's whispering sweet nothings in your ear, words of pure love and devotion. He's there for you, no matter what.

As John leaned in for a kiss, you can feel the warmth of his lips against yours, making you smile. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer, and you felt a rush of emotions wash over you. It was as if the cold, cruel world around you disappeared, and the only thing that mattered was John and the love you share.

In that moment, you knew that you were exactly where you were supposed to be, wrapped in John's arms and sheltered from the perils of winter. And as long as you had him, everything would be alright.

── ◜‹3◞  SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY :

"I think I know just the thing to warm you up."

It's undeniably cold inside your home. "Simon," you whine, burying your face in his shoulder to steal some of his warmth. "I'm still freezing."

Simon chuckles, pulling you closer. "Oh my, you're like a popsicle in the middle of a blizzard," he teases, hugging you even tighter and clasping your cold hands into his. "But I think I know just the thing to warm you up."

"What's that?" you ask, your teeth still chattering.

"I'm going to put you in a microwave," Simon responds, deadpan.

You laugh, but he's not joking— and as he picks you up and heads to the kitchen, you realize his suggestion isn't so funny after all.

"Simon..?" You can't help but shudder as you imagine being stuck in a small, enclosed space, surrounded by the deafening hum of the microwave as it fries you alive. But Simon doesn't seem to notice your fear; his eyes are fixed on the microwave as he punches in the timer and sets it to the maximum setting.

As you wait for your fate, you can't help but wonder what could possibly possess Simon to do such a thing. Is it just his quirky sense of humor, or something deeper?

The microwave beeps to signal that it's finished, and Simon nervously opens the door. You hold your breath as you peek inside. To your surprise, the heat inside came pouring out and warming you up. But it ended as the door closed up.

"You know, love," Simon said with a chuckle. "I didn't think you'd actually take me seriously."

You turned to him. "What do you mean?" you asked, your teeth chattering still from the cold.

Simon grinned, pulling off his sweater and handing it to you. "Here, wear this. I'll keep you warm," he said, his voice full of compassion.

You hesitated, knowing that the sweater would be cold, but you were grateful for the offer nonetheless. You slipped the sweater on and felt the cold fabric against your skin. You shivered but as you leaned against Simon, you felt his warmth start to penetrate through the sweater.

"There you go," Simon said with a satisfying smile. He stroked your hair and nuzzled his face against your cheek. "All warm and cozy now."

"Thank you, Si'," you said, feeling grateful for his kindness.

"Of course, anything for you, love," he replied, kissing your forehead. You couldn't help feeling grateful to have such a warm and caring person in your life, and you resolved to show him the same warmth and care in return.

── ◜‹3◞  JOHNNY ‘SOAP’ MACTAVISH :

"It's like a portable chiller, aye?"

Johnny's eyes sparkled with a teasing twinkle as you approached him with your cold hands. He was quick to respond with his usual wit and charm.

"Cold hands, warm heart, eh?" he said with a grin, taking your hands in his and rubbing them together briskly. His warm touch sent a tingly sensation up your arms, and you felt your mood lifting instantly.

"I like it, babe," Johnny said with a wink, pulling your arms to his neck as he continued to hug you. "It's like a portable chiller, aye?"

You couldn't help but laugh at the joke, feeling your spirits lift with each passing moment. Johnny was always the life of the party, and his funny nature was one of the things that made him so attractive to you. But what you appreciated most about Johnny was his genuine kindness. He was always there for you, no matter what, and he was always quick with a joke to make you feel better.

"That's a good one," you whispered as you nuzzing closer to him, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment you two shared together.

As you stood there in his arms, you felt the warmth of his body and the familiarity of his embrace. It was a feeling that you never wanted to end, and you were grateful for his kind words and thoughtful actions. He was a constant source of comfort and laughter, and you knew that you could always count on him to make you smile.

Suddenly, with a mischievous glint in his eye, Johnny leaned in close and whispered in your ear. "Now that your hands are warm, maybe we can think about warming up the rest of you," he said, his breath hot on your skin.

Johnny's words sent a shiver up your spine, and you felt a tingle of excitement as his lips brushed against your ear. You could smell the warm scent of his breath and the musk of his body all around you, and you were aware of your heart beating just a little bit faster.

You then felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment at his teasing, but you couldn't help but smile at his playful antics. Johnny was always full of surprises, and his sense of humor was one of the things that you loved about him.

"You're too much, love," you muttered with a grin, shaking your head.

"I try," Johnny said with a smile. "But seriously, I'll warm you up. I don't want you to catch a cold."

You nodded in agreement, grateful for the concern in Johnny's voice. His arms tightened around you, and you felt your entire body warm up as his warmth radiated through you.

Johnny pulled you into a warm embrace, his body pressed against yours as you leaned into him. You felt him smile against your neck, and his hands slid down your back, his touch electric with anticipation.

Despite the playful banter, Johnny's arms were like a warm, comforting embrace around you, and you felt safe and secure in his presence. Whether he was making you laugh with his hilarious jokes or supporting you with his genuine kindness, Johnny was always there for you, and you were grateful for every moment you spent together.

── ◜‹3◞  KYLE ‘GAZ’ GARRICK :

"You know, that felt kind of nice."

You've been outside for a while, and it's colder than usual. So when you and Kyle hugged each other goodbye, you can't help but notice how cold your hands are compared to how warm his body is. Without thinking, you wrap your arms around him and caressed his back with your cold hands.

Kyle felt a soft touch against his back.

"Oh!" He muttered, surprised by the feeling of your cold hands. At first, he was caught off-guard by the suddenness of the gesture, but as he felt the warmth and tenderness of your embrace, he relaxed and found himself enjoying the hug more than expected.

The surprise quickly gave way to pleasure as he felt a soothing sensation envelop his body. "You know, that felt kind of nice," Kyle mumbled, turning to you with a soft grin.

You were taken aback by the sincerity of his words, but you couldn't help but feel a flush of warmth spread across your cheeks.

"Really?" You smiled to yourself. As you pulled away from the hug, you saw the twinkle in Kyle's eyes. And for a moment, he felt like you were the only two people in the world.

"Yes, I didn't even realize how cold you were until your hands crawled into my back," Kyle says with a gentle smile. "But it felt kind of comforting, like you were giving me a little bit of your warmth."

You feel your heart flutter. It's small moments like this that make you realize just how much he means to you.

Your heart is racing as he pulls you closer to him, and you feel the warmth of his body surround yours. Kyle's hand then stroked your neck gently, and you closed your eyes feeling safe and loved.

"I love you, Kyle," you whisper, feeling the words pour out of you like a dam bursting.

His eyes widen, and he looks deep into your eyes. "I love you too," he says softly, and nuzzled his head into your neck.

He pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you gently. You feel his warmth envelop your body, and for a moment, you feel like you're truly one with him. His heart is beating at the same rhythm as yours, and you feel a sense of connection between the two of you that is difficult to explain, but that feels so real and true.

Kyle kisses your forehead, and you close your eyes, feeling truly loved and complete.

And as you continue to hold each other, you can't help but notice how Kyle's arms tighten around you, as though he's trying to hold onto every moment of warmth he can get from your embrace.

── ◜‹3◞  KÖNIG :

"Your hands are so cold, mein liebling :(("

You and König are in his room, where he keeps his gun safe. He's been feeling a little anxious lately, and hasn't had a chance to clean his rifle in a while. So tonight, after dinner, he decided to take some time to give it a good cleaning.

It's been a while since he's held his gun, so he's surprised by how well-balanced it feels in his hands. He loves the way the metal feels against his skin, the weight of it in his grip. He takes a deep breath and begins to dismantle the gun, cleaning and checking each part carefully before putting it back together again.

He's lost in his own thoughts, focused on the task at hand, until your sudden appearance behind him.

"RAWR!" you exclaimed, a wide smile appears in your face.

König lets out a little gasp of surprise as you wrap your cold hands around him, pulling him into a tight hug. "Hase," he whines, still startled by the coldness of your hands. "Your hands are so cold."

Despite his own surprise and confusion, he can't help but feel a little bit charmed by your sudden, playful hug. He can't help but smile at the absurdity of it all.

"Hehe," you giggled and showed him your toothy grin. "That's why I'm the cuddle monster!"

You pull him closer to you, burying your cold hands beneath the warmth of the hoodie he's wearing that you've stolen from him at least three times already. He lets out a little squeak of surprise before settling back into your embrace.

But he can't help but feel a little bit of concern for you. He understands how uncomfortable cold hands can be, especially in this weather. And he can't bear the thought of having his own partner suffering like this. So, unable to resist the temptation, he decides to do something about it.

He pulls away from your embrace, feeling a little bit self-conscious about what he's about to do. But he knows that it's for your own good. He looks around for anything that might warm up your hands, and settles on the hot metal tea cup beside him. He reaches for it, careful not to spill the boiling hot water inside, and hands it to you.

The cup feels warm and comforting in your hands, the heat spreading through your body and warming up the tips of your fingers. You give him a grateful smile, and take a small sip from the tea. It's slightly bitter, probably due to the over-brewed tea. But you don't mind; the warmth it gives you makes it worthwhile. You take another sip, feeling the warmth spread through your body.

König watches you savor the tea, feeling happy that he could help you. He knows how hard you've been working lately, and he wants to make sure you're always taken care of. He can't help but feel a little bit proud of himself, knowing that he was able to make you happy with something so simple.

You finish the tea, handing the cup back to him. He takes it from you and sets it down on the table as he gives you a small smile, feeling content.

"Your hands okay now?" he asks as his thick German accent seeps through, concerned for your well-being. He grabs both of your hands and blew warm air from his lips to them, making them warmer.

You feel a wave of warmth and comfort wash over you as his warm breath hits your cold hands. In the moment, everything seems to slow down, and you feel a sense of calmness and reassurance wash over you. You can't help but feel grateful for Simon's kindness and thoughtfulness, and you can't help but smile at the genuine concern in his voice.

You nod, grateful for his kindness. "Yes, they are, thank you," you reply, still blushing from the intimacy of the moment.

He lets go of your hands, and your cheeks grow even hotter as you feel the warmth from his breath lingering on your skin. You both share an intense eye contact for a few moments, feeling a deep connection in that moment.

"I'll always take care of you, hase," he whispers, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. You can't help but melt into his embrace, feeling his warmth wash over you like a comforting blanket. He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms tighter around you, as if to protect you from the cold outside world.

A/N: hello !! i still hve a lot of ur requests to write on so pls be patient w me :)) also upd ,, i will be quite busy tomorrow bcz i hve a big event to attend to ! might hve to resume working on the reqs a day after that .

[xrenjunniesx]

Wait can you do when dreamies we’re about to kiss you BUT when they were about to you SMELL a hint of cigarette and refused to 💋because you didn’t like them 🚬 and they convince you they won’t 🚬 that ever again if you give them their 💋💋 something about nct smoking is giving me 🦋🦋🦋🦋

I love youuuuuuuuuu 🫶🫶

you refuse to kiss them since they smell like smoke

bf!nct dream

a/n ; this is such funny timing considering haechan just got caught for vaping LMAO

mark

it had been a while since you saw your boyfriend and you both wanted nothing more than to share a loving kiss and spend time together. until you smelt the smoke.

“really mark..” He is a little confused at first but then when you held your nose as a bit of a joke he realised. he laughed and apologised, saying he will go get some gum and brush his teeth as soon as possible but you’re shaking your head,

“until you give up smoking you won’t get a kiss.”

“oh!”

he ends up getting a kiss once he has some gum and a fresher breath, he claims the kiss is motivation to stop.

renjun

you were beyond excited to see your boyfriend after so long and give him hundreds of kisses, but when you did see him and pulled him into a tight hug, leaning back and about to kiss him, you smelt the smoke.

“renjun… the smoke smells..”

he reaches into his pocket and grabs a piece of gum, putting it into his mouth and immediately chewing it quickly to get rid of the smell.

he kisses you before you can move away but when he breaks the kiss you’re glaring at him. “when you stop smoking, then I’ll kiss you.” And you walk away from him.

“babe-You’re kidding?! right?! I’LL STOP! BABE COME BACK!”

jeno

you two were hugging outside when you caught a smell of his jacket. it smelt like cigarettes but you didn’t know if he smoked it or not. before you could ask, he was kissing your face. he definitely smoked.

“jeno..” He hummed in response, pulling back to look at your face. “I won’t kiss you unless you stop smoking.”

his smile drops a bit. he was a little confused but then figured you probably smelt it. “I can’t just… stop instantly. it’s an addiction.”

“promise me that you’ll try to stop?” he does agree to that. you pull out a piece of gum and give to him, “eat this and then I’ll kiss you.” he laughs and does as you say.

haechan

he came up to you, lips puckered and all, only to get pushed away.

“I am NOT kissing you when you smell like cigarettes.” “babe-“

“in fact I won’t kiss you at all until you stop smoking.” “baby… seriously..?”

over the next few days, he is trying every method to stop smelling like cigarettes. showering before he goes to see you, brushing his teeth immediately after smoking, chewing a LOT of gum. but you still somehow know.

he is dying to get a damn kiss so he does stop smoking cigarettes. he vapes instead. you’re against it, but at least he doesn’t smell as bad anymore. so he gets his kiss.

jaemin

you didn’t even know he smoked until you caught him outside one time smoking with his friends. since that moment, you refused to kiss him until he promised not to smoke again.

“baby, seriously?”

“I’m serious, it smells horrible and it’s bad for your health.”

he instantly tries to promise you but you weren’t buying it, you knew he wasn’t being sincere and he just wanted a kiss. a few days later he comes up to you, “I won’t smoke anymore.”

“really?”

“I really won’t and if I do I’ll tell you and you can give me a kissing ban.”

“You’re only quitting because of a kissing ban…?” “yeah.” he deadpans.

…. At least he quit I guess?

chenle

“god chenle, why do you keep smoking.”

you hated that he smoked and despite the fact that you never outright told him to stop, you made it very clear you hated him smoking.

but it wasn’t until you refused to kiss him that he realised you reallyyyy hated it.

“what can I do to get you kiss me?”

“go brush your teeth and also stop smoking.”

he goes and brushes his teeth, reflecting on his smoking habit as he did so. he didn’t even like the taste all that much it was more so just a habit he unfortunately gained.

he comes back to you with a fresh breath, pressing multiple kisses to your lips.

“I’ll stop baby, I’ll try to stop.”

jisung

he pulled you into a hug, kissing your forehead before trying to kiss your lips. you back away immediately.

“jisung… you reek of cigarettes. I am not kissing you.”

he pouts, repeatedly saying “just one. just one kiss.” but you keep denying him.

he ventures off to find some gum and comes back with two pieces of gum in his mouth, actively chewing them.

“now?” he asks

“jisung.. why don’t you just stop smoking…”

he is quiet for a bit, before nodding, “okay i’ll try to stop. but do I get a kiss?”

[tender-rosiey]

omg you're taking requests uhm, can i request for dazai and/or chuuya where he overheard his co-worker confide to kunikida or to yosano (in chuuya's case, it's tachihara or anyone in the port mafia lol) about her feelings towards him? like, she really went into detail as to why she loves him and wants to be there for him but she's scared that dazai doesn't feel the same way or she thinks he doesn't find her attractive esp when she did attempt to confess but they were too dense to put two and two together lmao im in the mood for angst and fluff so feel free to go wild with this one haha thank you~!

“RAMBLE OF LOVE”

— dazai and chuuya hearing you talk about them

DAZAI OSAMU:

“I don’t know, yosano; it’s hopeless.”

“are you serious right now?” yosano deadpans as you frown at her.

you get up, exasperated, “I have tried to confess twice! twice! and he either doesn’t get it or can’t find it in him to outright reject me!”

“you think dazai wouldn’t be able to figure something out?” she questions.

you sigh, “that means that it is the other option so I should probably stop liking him,” accepting defeat after god knows how long.

“you know it isn’t that easy; you can’t just stop feeling for someone, y/n.”

you look at her before finally bursting, “obviously it isn’t! I have spent the majority of my time either thinking about how much I love the idiot or how I want to be by his side and be there for him!”

“with a side of solving crime and saving the world.”

“yes and that too, but honestly I have gotten to the point that I NEED him to reject me so I can move on with my life and be a normal single person!”

yosano catches a figure standing outside the door and smirks lightly before speaking up, “say y/n, why do you like dazai so much?”

“first of all, I am wayyyyy past ‘like’; second of all, I like him because he is funny, cute, charming, smart, caring when he wants, observant and most importantly, he, deep inside, wants to do good.”

“oh?” she perks up at that, “why?”

“I…dont know much about his past with the mafia, but if he left then there has to be at least a part of him that is good,” you smile softly as you gaze into the ground, “I also don’t know much does he actually trust me, but if we ever have a chance, I would like to tell him that I am willing to shoulder his pains because he doesn’t deserve to go all of that alone.”

“and all of that because you love him?” she smiles and stands up then walks to the door.

“uhh, yeah? that was literally the introduction of my monologue,” you say, watching her walking.

“well, it’s a good thing that he heard all of that,” she announces before slamming the door open, “eavesdropping is a bad trait, dazai.”

he raises his hand up in mock-surrender, “I would never do such thing.”

she rolls her eyes and ruffles your hair, “I will let you two be,” then she closes the door behind her after she leaves.

you can see dazai processing things, and soon you and dazai stare into each other for a while, but a smirk settles on his lips, “so you love me, huh?—“

“if you’re going to reject me then do it quickly please,” you hurriedly say before looking away, not being to handle looking at him.

“hey now, I never said that I was going to reject you,” he points out, softly, but you merely side-eye him so he continues, “neither am I joking.”

he pouts and mumbles, “you really have no faith in me.”

you look away once again and fail to see the small smile that makes its way to his face; however, you hear his light footsteps as he approaches you.

he takes a hold of your hand and rubs it gently with his thumb, “I am going to be honest with you,” he notices how you tense up and kisses the back of your hand to calm you down, “I was going to say that I love you too, silly.”

“are you…sure?” you ask softly and gently bumps your foreheads and hums.

“never been more sure in my life,” he admits.

he smiles teasingly, “in fact, my honesty was going to be about how much I do and why; it’s only fair if I ramble about my love for you as well, no?”

NAKAHARA CHUUYA:

“I am going to throw myself off a bridge.”

“oh no, not this again,” tachihara cowers.

“oh it’s this again!” you admit before freaking out, “did you see how good he looked getting off that motorcycle?!”

“how is he so attractive?!” you screech and he shrugs making you pout, “tachihara, cooperate!”

“I don’t see what is attractive about him!”

you take a breath and hear a small ‘what have I done’ from tachihara but start either ways, “first, his voice; holy crap his voice is so hot like yes sir please do talk more, let me listen to you talk about every single type of wine in the industry.”

“second, his eyes, they are so HEHEE! I can barely keep eye contact with him,” you fangirl and continue doing so, “and bro his entire physique honestly! I can’t think of a man that’s better than him in literally ANY category, sorry tachihara.”

he waves you off, but puts out another question, “what about his personality? what makes you so in love with him?”

“well,” you shyly start off, “he is a gentleman, he is nice, respectful, very kind and compassionate, trustworthy and overall an amazing person. I really can’t put it into words.”

“what about his anger issues?”

“oh no, he has every right to get angry at you people; everyone here is insufferable,” you say and tachihara huffs.

“but,” and the sadness in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by your best friend, “i don’t think he feels the same.”

“why??” he asks, memory flashing back to every single time chuuya came to freak out about something cute you did and how much you fluster him, visibly so.

literally everyone can see it, except you.

“I don’t know; it’s just a feeling,” you murmur sitting down, “I am pretty obvious with my feelings and don’t necessarily hide it that much.”

that as well is true, which leads to only once conclusion that tachihara can think of: you both are undeniably stupid, clueless and are a pain in the ass to everyone around you because of how clueless you both are.

“well it’s a stupid damn feeling alright,” he quips and quickly gets a pack of tissues thrown at him.

however, he quickly recovers and with a smile and teases you, “sooo it’s safe to say that you love chuuya, right?”

“I have said that I love chuuya at least 4 times today; what’s wrong with you?”

you hear the sound of a glass breaking and turn around to see a red-faced chuuya who, for the life of him, can’t look you in the eye right now.

“oh shit,” you mumble and notice tachihara, sneaking out giggling. the bastard.

amidst the wine on the floor, the ticking of the clock and the blowing of the wind, chuuya barely mumbles out a sentence, “i l…v you… too.”

but you, obviously, didn’t hear anything, “what?”

he grumbles and walks closer to you, “i love you too.”

“chuuya, i really can’t hear you,” you say.

“I SAID I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU FREAKING IDIOT!” he yells and crosses his arms.

“jeez okay, no need to yell!” you shout back and he raises an eyebrow before sighing.

his arms wrap around your waist and he presses a kiss to your cheek, “you’re a handful, y’know.”

“already?” you giggle and he nods.

taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @bakugossanity @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @luciferspen @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @waosobii

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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[stvenzz]

he smells like the sun.

that was your first thought about megumi fushiguro. it was surprising, considering his dark-colored clothes. you’d have thought he’d stink like a virgin nerd, but he smells like a warm sunny day. sitting next to him has made you realize how much you miss the days when you’d just drive off to the beach and sit there.

cramped in a small aula, you found yourself sitting closer to him than you’d thought. megumi doesn’t seem to care though, as your elbow keeps knocking against his. “-and of course, i’d like to remind you all that the campus winter ball is coming soon!” the dean says into the mic, and a flurry of groans follow. “it will be held in this very aula, with festive, non-alcoholic drinks! it will be a chance for you to bond with your classmates and get to know the faculty!”

“bond, like he boned one of the students last year.” you mutter to yourself.

that catches his attention. you smell like cinnamon. yes, yeah. like cinnamon rolls. megumi thinks, as he glances at you. he tries to think of why he hasn’t seen you around before - how he doesn’t recognize the cinnamon from your hair. you smile at your own joke, and he can’t help but smile a little too. not that it was funny, but because he thought you were funny. and alluring. and cinnamon scented.

“that’s it for today. i am hoping to see you all next week, alright?” the dean announces, but half of the crowd has already left to attend their morning classes. you start to pack up and leave, megumi does too. you think it’s the last you’ll ever smell sunshine indoors. he’s thinking of the cinnamon buns in the canteen.

the next time you see sunshine - yes, that’s the nickname you’ve come up for him - is during a dorm check. you see, you’ve been staying at a dormitory for a year with someone studying physics. nerds like that don’t usually stay too long in dormitories - they get too homesick and have to go back to their mamas or end up renting some other place less noisy or dirty. you’re kind of jealous, actually. the dorms are most of the time filthy with the smell of weed or tears.

“excuse me,” you hear a male voice chirp outside your room. “[y/n]?” groaning, you get up and fix your shirt. it’s supposed to be my off day. what the fuck is the nerd doing here- oh. there he was. in a pale blue button down and puffer jacket, stood megumi fushiguro - sunshine. “oh. it’s… hi.” he mutters, a light pink shade blushing his cheeks.

unbeknownst to you, megumi had been searching for traces of your cinnamon shampoo all over campus. “hey, do you… smell that cinnamon shit?” megumi would ask his friends, to where they’d laugh and shake their hands.

“you shouldn’t be smoking here.” he says, with a surprisingly confident manner.

you immediately become conscious of the small cigarette in between your index and middle finger, and you raise your eyebrows. “who are you?” you ask, pretending not to enjoy the warmth of his scent. “the new resident assistant.” he says, pointing to his clipboard. his eyes are deadpan, but inside, his heart is beating a mile a minute - he finally knows! you were his mystery cinnamon smell, as creepy as that sounds. “i meant your name, dingus.” you roll your eyes, taking a long drag of the cigarette. at that, his eyes seem to falter in surprise, but he shrugs. “shouldn’t matter. you know i could get you kicked out, right? just for smoking.”

the threat gets you thinking - why were you trying so hard to resist this nerd? “i’m almost finished. be patient, will you?” you smile sweetly, and it’s hard for him not to smile back. there’s an unspoken tension between you two, and it’s not the bad kind. in fact, you feel like you could almost read his emotions and his deadpan face. megumi’s eyes scan around your room, looking for anything he could report.

“well,” megumi scribbles down something on his clipboard. “it’s nice to meet you, [y/n].”

your heart starts beating funny — he didn’t report you for smoking. usually, you’d be more careful when smoking in the dorms, but this time, with your roommate gone and the absence of classes, you decided to just do it once, in your room. oddly enough, that’s the exact time the newly-appointed resident assistant, megumi fushiguro, arrived at your room, looking to check on the conditions of your place.

“you too.”

you put out your cigarette and settle with the fact that you may just never know sunshine’s name.

★☆ a/n: little blurb i wrote when i wuz in love with megumi.

[envirae]

from the start — park jay

pairing: best friend!jay x gn!reader 

genre: fluff 

wc: 1k

warnings: swearing, pining, mentions of jungwon and yunjin from lsf, reader is super dense lol, not proofread! jay's listening to... from the start - laufey

"you're crazy. and i don't mean crazy in a wild and funny way like riki, i mean you're genuinely crazy if you think you'll be okay letting him get away like this." sunoo deadpanned. he was always good at being brutally honest with you, but that doesn't mean his bluntness was always appreciated.

"well what exactly do you expect me to do? we'll both be going off to uni in a month. even if he did feel the same way, long distance would never work out." you sighed. it feels as if you and your brother have this conversation almost weekly.

"you're like a broken record. every time you insist that things between you would never work out, but every time, i see the way you smile at him. i hear your laugh when he tells one of his stupid jokes, which— by the way are not that funny, and i hear you cry in your room every time he goes out on a date with another girl." you remain silent, unsure of what to say. you always hate it when sunoo is right. "i give you a lot of shit for your stupid crush, but you're still my sister, and i don't like seeing you in pain."

your phone buzzes on the bed, and unsurprisingly, it's jay. "i'm outside."

sunoo stares at the notification and gives you a knowing look before you stand up from his bed. "you don't have to do anything you don't want to. but, i don't want you to hold yourself back from doing anything you do want to do, either."

"thanks sunoo. i'll try to keep in mind what you told me." he sends you a soft smile as you walk out.

when jay sees you walk outside, he immediately exits the car and heads to the passenger side to open the door for you. "such a gentleman, aren't you?" you joke, getting into his car.

"well of course, only the best treatment for my best friend" he grins, closing the door after you and quickly returning to the drivers seat.

"where to?" you ask, putting your seatbelt on as he starts the car.

"i was thinking we could head downtown, a new boba place just opened up. we could get drinks and take a walk around the park." he knows that it sounds like your idea of a perfect day, and he doesn't have to look over at you to know there's a big smile on your face right now. though he still does, just because he wants to see your smile.

"you know me so well. i have the best best friend in the world." he hums in agreement and continues driving.

after you pick up your drinks, you leave the car behind and cross the street to go to the park. it's a sunny day, and the two of you walk around the park talking about whatever nonsense comes to mind.

jay's phone begins to ring, but his face turns sour when he checks it. he declines the call and puts it back in his pocket. "who was that?" you ask.

"just jungwon, he's nagging me to finish packing. i told him i'd get around to it."

you nod in understanding. "i thought it was yunjin." yunjin was jay's most recent love interest, and you let out a pained chuckle, not wanting to let jay know just how much you hate the thought of them together.

"oh her? we stopped talking a few weeks ago. she wasn't looking for anything serious, and you know how i am. i wanted more." he sighs.

"that's too bad, i know you really liked her." you attempt to console him, but he doesn't seem too sad about it.

"it's alright. things happen. it just shows that she wasn't meant for me. she tried to use the fact that we're both moving as a scapegoat, but i think it's bullshit. if you really like someone, and you want to be with them, shouldn't you put in the work to be with them? even if it's not easy?" he asks, almost a little frustrated.

the two of you walk in silence for a bit, and your breath catches in your throat as something in your mind says "fuck it. "

"i would." you mumble. you're incredibly quiet, but jay still manages to hear you.

"what?"

you've stopped walking now, and jay is standing directly in front of you. "i would put in the work to be with you, even if it wasn't easy, jay. to tell you the truth, i've been in love with you since we were kids. and i've waited for you this long, but i would a thousand years to be with you if i had to. you're the only person i could ever imagine loving."

you feel like you've just been pushed off a cliff, and you're bracing yourself for impact, unsure if the land beneath you is going to be soft, or hit you like a rock.

he stares at you, speechless. "why did you never tell me?" he asks with a shaky voice.

"i was scared! i knew you didn't feel the same way about me but i just had to tell you before we both leave. i never wanted to lose you but—" you start rambling, but jay cuts you off.

"i'm in love with you too, y/n. and i would also wait a thousand years to be with you if i had to."

now it's your turn to be speechless, but the silence doesn't last long. he pulls you in for a kiss. you feel like you must be dreaming, because there's no way jay has felt the same way as you this whole time.

when you both pull away, he pushes the hair out of your face and smiles at you. "i would wait an eternity to be with you, y/n, because that's how long i've loved you. and that's how long i will continue to love you."

[seabirdtxt]

Hello! Just recently found your blog, and I am in love with your fanfic, Glitch In Irminsul!

I honestly have no idea if I'm the first one to request on your blog, but I do hope this idea is okay with you!

May I request this: Reader who is a comedian with Cyno, Tighnari and Collei, reacting to Reader making Cyno's bad jokes (quote on quote) "better"? You don't have to find a joke for Reader if you don't wanna :)

I'm a little obsessed with their dynamic as of right now. If you do happen to take this request, thanks :D

Also idk if you wanna take Anons, but if you do someday, is it alright if I claim "🎪 Anon" as my alias? Sorry if I'm asking too much! I hope you have a great day :)

hi!! thanks so much for your request, and your patience!! 🩵 i had a good bit of fun writing this for you, i love bad jokes 🤭

WC. 1092

----- ⚘ -----

As the General Mahamatra, and having been personally assigned to your guard by Lesser Lord Kusanali herself, it is Cyno’s sworn duty to attend to every need and whim of the almighty Creator.

And when the Creator demands that you tell them your absolute worst joke, the one that nobody has ever even laughed at yet, well, who is he to deny them?

“- didn’t realize that, at that very moment, a Hydro slime was praying to meet a lone, stranded traveler.” Cyno finishes the joke with a straight face, at the exact same moment that the door to the hut swings open, revealing Tighnari and Collei with several bags of groceries in their arms.

“Oh, Cyno, not the slime joke again.” Tighnari groans over the sound of your absolutely raucous laughter at the horrible joke.

“But the Creator likes it.” Cyno protests, gesturing to you hanging part way off the table and clutching your stomach. You honestly don’t find the joke itself all that funny, but the sheer confidence with which he tells it paired with the completely deadpan expression he has is sending you into hysterics.

“They’re going to eat each other!” You gasp, trying to sit back properly on the chair. A few lingering giggles hit you when you see Tighnari’s deeply disappointed expression. “Hahaha… but slimes don’t have a mouth, do they? How would it eat the person?”

“Exactly!” Tighnari says, pointing at Cyno with the hand not holding the groceries. “It doesn’t make any sense! Slimes wouldn’t-”

“And what did the stranded traveler say in that situation?” You add, confusing both Tighnari and Cyno into silence. Cyno blinks a few times, visibly wondering if there was a part of the joke that he forgot to tell, and he’s about to ask for clarification when Collei beats him to the punch.

“Your Grace, the traveler didn’t say anythi-” Collie begins, but you’re already on a roll.

“He said, ‘it must be slime for dinner!’”

You can’t help but erupt into laughter again at seeing everyone’s reactions: Collei’s slow realization, Cyno perking up excitedly, and Tighnari imploding with exasperation.

“You see, because ‘slime’ sounds like ‘time’-”

“Yes, Cyno. Thanks. I got the gist.”

You’re still gasping for air, leaning back in the chair and bracing yourself on the wall behind you. Tighnari’s frown falters a little, your joy infectious even if the joke is terrible.

“Slime for dinner, and sand for dessert!” You add, and Cyno chuckles even as he brings out his wretched book of jokes and begins writing an annotation in the margins, which Tighnari is sure the librarian will greatly appreciate later. “Get it? ‘Cause dessert, and desert?”

Tighnari is about to snarkily reply, when a surprising sound catches his attention. He turns with a horrified expression to Collei, who has her hand over her mouth and eyes wide in disbelief.

“Oh no, Collei…” Tighnari says warningly, shaking his head, which causes the girl to snort again and she quickly puts down her groceries before she can drop them.

“I- I’m sorry, Master,” she fights through her giggles, which only spurs you and Cyno on. “It’s just… it’s so bad…”

“Come on, ‘Nari, it’s just a joke,” Cyno attempts to bring the Valuka Shuna in on the fun. “Think of it as a way to break the ice.”

“Yeah, Tighnari,” you add. “Snow fun otherwise.”

Collei lets out a full belly laugh, to Tighnari’s dismay and Cyno’s apparent confusion.

“You’ve never laughed at my jokes like that,” the general points out, and Collei can only laugh harder.

“We’re morally obligated to laugh at the Creator’s jokes, ‘lest Their Grace smite us with impunity.” Tighnari states tonelessly, completely opposing his own statement.

That’s about as much as you can take. You slide bonelessly off the chair, howling with laughter on the floor like some kind of hyena.

“Look what you did! You corrupted the Creator!”

“The Creator told that joke all on their own!”

While Cyno and Tighnari are bickering, Collei helps you off of the floor, steadying you in your chair as you both come down from your laughing. She checks you over to make sure you didn’t injure yourself on your way down, then grabs her bag and rummages through it before producing a shiny red apple.

“We brought snacks!” she announces, handing you the fruit proudly. “And we have the stuff for dinner tonight! We picked these fresh, though. They’re very sweet this season!”

You take the apple with a grin and rub it on your shirt to clean it before taking a bite.

“Wow, these really are sweet! Thanks, Collei!” You marvel at how good the apple tastes, somehow different from Earth’s apples, with a refreshing, sugary taste.

“You’re very welcome!” Collei beams at the praise. “I’m gonna go get Master Tighnari to stop griping and help me with dinner, now, though.”

You perk up at the mention of cooking. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Oh, gosh, no! You’re our guest, please let us take care of it!” Collei insists, then scurries over to the other two.

You decide to follow her just as she’s asking Tighnari for help with cooking. The botanist huffs with mild annoyance, his tail sweeping from side to side.

“I’m not sure Cyno needs dinner, Collei,” he states. “Since he wants to act childish, perhaps it would be best to put him in time-out for the evening.”

“That’s not very knife of you, Tighnari,” you say before you can stop yourself. “Why don’t you fork-give him for now so we can have dinner together?”

Tighnari squints at you, somehow sensing you’ve made a pun (or two) despite your straight delivery.

“... Are you going to stop with the jokes too, Your Grace?” he asks, his ear flicking.

“What jokes? Collei wanted to ask for your help with the cooking. How can you say no to dish face?” You sidle up behind Collei and use your pointer fingers to make her smile, which she tolerates with surprising grace. “Isn’t she adora-bowl?”

“...” Tighnari maintains his stance for a few more seconds, and then sighs in defeat. “I don’t have a counter to that. Very well, I suppose I can let it slide for tonight, since it’s for you, Your Grace…”

“Hehehe, counter,” you mumble, which causes Collei to erupt into giggles once more, and Cyno to look extremely pleased with your ability.

And Tighnari to make a noise of exasperation, throwing his hands up and stomping toward the kitchen on his own.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m leaving!”

[sophiiwrites]

sliced watermelon ft. lee haechan

“a police officer's job is never easy. it's unpredictable, with lots of twists and turns."

word count: 4.4k

genre/archetypes: fluff, comedy, angst, mystery, gets pretty dark at the end, includes mentions of serial killers, from a fluff story to a dark, murder story (butttt it does have a little bit of romance!)

synopsis: when the very incredibly annoying pain in the butt madam jung asks you to watch her watermelons, you grudgingly accept. however, soon, there is a twist that no one expects to come.

notes: well so originally this was going to be a cute fun lovey story but i really wanted to include a dark twist: so i did and here it is! it’s kind of weird, and this is my first time writing fanfiction so yes, it’s going to be pretty awkward. the romance could probably have been a little more fleshed out. 

warnings/potential triggers: mentions of murder, mentions of guns, mentions of weapons, VIOLENCE!! serial killer involved story (one of the characters is the target of a serial killer, reader and haechan are protecting victim of serial killer)

Being an officer in a small town was not always the best of jobs. In fact, it was possibly one of the worst.

When the government had offered police training options to the masses, you had signed up. You were in need of a job, and you thought police work could be your ticket out. Of course, you wanted to help the country and everything, but you would be lying if you said the pay wasn’t a reason.

Sure, life was nice in this peaceful town, and you had a source of entertainment (see: Officer Lee Haechan, obviously) but you were constantly tired from dealing with petty squabbles and theft. With long shifts and low numbers, you had been reduced to talking to Officer Haechan, the only other officer who was your age. Everyone else was above sixty years old and in need of retirement. Sometimes you wondered if they were even qualified.

But this took the cake. 

“Let me get this straight. You want us to stakeout your watermelons for a week because you think someone’s coming to steal them? You don’t even have a suspect!”

You looked at the older woman sitting across from you. It was easy to dismiss her as someone who wasn’t very bright. But the eyes of Madam Jung scared everyone in the precinct: they were blue, sharp, and piercing. Madam Jung tried to convince everyone she had been born with blue eyes, but everyone knew she just put colored contacts in to scare the visitors.

“I am not joking around with you, young lady,” Madam Jung said condescendingly. “This is a real threat. Someone is coming to steal my prized watermelons! My precious babies! My very own melons!”

You successfully muffled your snickers, but the person behind her didn’t. Madam Jung’s head moved at lightning speed, staring coldly into the person’s eyes behind you.

“Is there… something funny?”

“No, no! Just laughing at, um, the bulletin board behind you! Oh, it’s incredibly funny,” replied Officer Haechan. 

You and Madam Jung looked at the bulletin board. It was full of murder pictures from a serial killer case that the headquarters in Seoul was investigating. There were talks of the serial killer coming to the small town you served at, but it hadn't happened yet, and you decided not to think of it. You turned back and looked at Haechan, trying to muffle his laughter. 

“Wow, that bulletin board is incredibly funny,” you deadpanned, rolling your eyes. 

Madam Jung rolled her eyes as well. “I hope you will not let this idiotic officer take my case. In fact…”

“What is it?” You replied, trying to stay on task. Haechan was still giggling behind her.

“Would you be willing to take it on? Officer Haechan clearly cannot handle these kinds of serious tasks,” Madam Jung asked. “I would be so happy if you did. Of course, I understand if you’re busy…” Madam Jung trailed off, looking pointedly at you.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” you sighed.

“Thank you so much,” Madam Jung smiled, clasping your hand. She stood up, glared at Haechan one final time, and strutted out of the room.

you spun around in her chair to glare at Haechan. 

“How is this funny? You just got me stuck with one of Madam Jung’s impossible cases! She’s never satisfied!”

“This is pretty funny… to me! Good luck,” Haechan snickered. “Madam Jung’s going to wring you out so bad. Maybe you’ll finally grow a few inches more and actually be able to look me in the eye.”

“I literally can look you in the eye! You’re not that tall.”

“Sure,” Haechan smirked as he walked away.

“Oh, no. You don’t deserve to walk away,” you spit out as you pulled Haechan by his sleeve. “You’re going to go on this stakeout with me. I know for a fact you don’t have any open cases and you’ve just been sitting at your computer playing Tetris.”

“No fair!” Haechan complained as you dragged him out the door.

Even if Madam Jung’s cases were ridiculous, you still had a duty to the people, and so you were sitting with Haechan outside her yard. You could see the watermelons from where you were, and your mouth started to water. There was a reason Madam Jung was known across the town for her watermelons.

“Feeling hungry?” Haechan asked.

You nodded. 

Haechan took out a bag of shrimp crackers and started to chomp on them obnoxiously. You rolled your eyes.

“As if I would accept your stupid shrimp crackers anyways. Who do you think I am?” You averted your eyes, trying not to focus on the delicious smell wafting from the bag.

“You know you want some!” Haechan trilled, waving the bag in front of your face. “Delicious shrimp crackers… super delicious shrimp crackers…”

You closed your eyes and pinched your nose.

“I refuse to let you distract me from this very important job. Come on, focus! If those watermelons actually get stolen, Madam Jung’s going to have us fired.”

Haechan rolled his eyes.

“Like there’s actually someone gunning for her watermelons. We all know she’s constantly lying…” Haechan trailed off as he noticed Madam Jung. She had just gotten out of her car, and had clearly heard every word Haechan said. His face turned bright red, and you cackled.

“That’s karma for you!” 

While Haechan apologized furiously to Madam Jung’s cold stare, you focused on the rows of green watermelons in Madam Jung’s front yard. As you stared at them, you noticed something strange. 

In front of the rows of watermelons, there was a small dark object with a weird cover on it.

You looked towards Haechan, who was still apologizing fervently as Madam Jung walked up the stairwell. As Haechan apologized for the umpteenth time, Madam Jung rolled her eyes and closed the door. 

You motioned for Haechan to walk over, and he did, his face bright red.

“Don’t say a word.” 

“No, Haechan, look.” You led him to the rows of watermelons and pointed down towards the strange object.

“Is that a camera?” Haechan asked.

You pulled the object out from the ground. It was one of those cameras attached to a stick for vlogging and selfies. The camera had been facing Madam Jung’s house. Inspecting it, you noticed the red dot was blinking. You quickly slammed your palm down on the camera and Haechan pressed the power button. 

Both of you looked at each other.

“Maybe Madam Jung wasn’t lying after all,” you mused.

Haechan frowned. You looked at him, surprised to see that the usual mischievous face had been replaced with a nervous one.

“What is it?”

“I really hope it’s not what I’m thinking it is,” Haechan replied.

“No, actually, what is it?”

“Remember that serial killer case? One of the witnesses who saw the killer running away said that the killer had been holding a camera with a stick attached to it. And the camera had a flower cover attached to it.”

You both looked down at the camera in your hands with a flower attached to it. Then you both looked up.

“Madam Jung’s in danger,” you breathed.

“We have to call the detectives in Seoul!” Haechan cried, running to his car.

“Did you reach them?” you asked. Haechan shook his head, his normally mischievous face showing anxiousness. You both knew that you weren’t prepared to take on such a huge case like this: especially without the help of the detectives, experts in the case. 

“They said they’ll be here in about two hours.”

“TWO HOURS? Are we that far from Seoul?” you replied.

“Considering that it takes us four hours to drive from here to Seoul, we’re lucky they can get here in half the time. They’re probably flashing their sirens and everything,” Haechan replied. “We should probably move Madam Jung to the police station.”

You sighed. “I don’t want to tell Madam Jung about this. She’ll be really scared.”

“I know, but realistically it’s the best decision to make. There’ll be more police officers at the station, and it’ll only be a five minute drive there.”

You nodded. 

“Okay, let’s go get Madam Jung.” Turning on your heels, you made your way to the front door. You rocked back and forth anxiously as you looked through the window. 

Finally, Madam Jung came out, clearly disheveled. She had tried to maintain appearance by frantically putting one contact in, but the absence of the other made her look incredibly strange.

“What is it?” she snapped.

“Madam Jung, we’re going to have to relocate you to the police station. This is a matter of your personal security,” you said.

“What do you mean? I’m staying here. My watermelons absolutely cannot be stolen,” Madam Jung replied.

“Madam Jung, I swear to you that you are in danger, and you matter more to me than your watermelons do. Please come with us to the police station.”

Madam Jung frowned. 

“What’s going on?”

“I’ll explain at the police station. Please.” You put on your best pleading face, ready to beg Madam Jung if you needed to.

Madam Jung stared at you for a while. Finally, she nodded.

“I’ll come with you.”

You smiled, and led her to Haechan’s car. Haechan opened the door for Madam Jung, and you both got in. Still holding the flower camera, Haechan carefully put it camera-side down on the passenger seat, then started the engine. He slowly started to back out of the driveway.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw movement, and started to panic. 

“Haechan, drive!” you screamed. 

Haechan saw the movement and frantically stepped on the pedal. The car screeched and abruptly stopped, knocking everyone back in their seats. Madam Jung slumped to the side. Your head snapped towards her, immediately reaching out to cradle Madam Jung’s head in your hands. 

Meanwhile, Haechan was trying his best to turn onto the street, but Madam Jung’s curved driveway wasn’t letting him. Finally, Haechan decided to crash onto the grass, squishing more than one watermelon in the process. The mysterious person was running towards the car.

“Haechan, what are you waiting for? We have to go! I think Madam Jung’s lost consciousness!”

Haechan sped up, and the car peeled away from the driveway. The person slowly disappeared behind the car, and you slumped into your seat, exhausted. You looked down at Madam Jung and inspected her head. No bumps.

Madam Jung’s eyes opened suddenly and you leapt out of your seat. 

“Madam Jung! Don’t scare me ever again.”

Madam Jung rolled her eyes. 

“I’m fine, you idiot girl. Now let go of my head and tell me the truth. I’m an old lady, but I’m a stubborn and brave old lady.”

You sighed.

“Madam Jung, we believe someone’s trying to kill you. We found a camera in your yard with a flower cover on it, facing your house. A witness recently claimed that they saw a serial killer holding the same camera and running away.” 

Madam Jung’s face blanched. 

“Who is this serial killer?”

“I don’t know. I’m not on the case, and most of the information is stuff I can’t see. But I promise, you’re going to be safe. We just have to go to the hospital first.” 

“No, don’t go to the hospital. We should go to Seoul first,” Haechan said. He was still driving like a maniac. 

“What, are you crazy? Madam Jung hit her head hard!” you said. “We should be prioritizing her safety first! Besides, we have a police station.”

“No! We have to get to Seoul. We need police protection. Actual police protection, not our station with all the old people who are over sixty. We don't know how determined this killer is, and we don’t know if he’s following us or not. If he is, we have to keep driving and try to lose him,” Haechan said, while looking in the side mirror. “Stopping now would be bad.”

“Okay, first of all, our police station is the closest, and the police officers at our station are still certified! They can still protect Madam Jung!”

“Do you really believe that?” Haechan said doubtfully. “You know HQ only sends older, in need of retirement officers to small towns like ours.”

“...Okay, you have a point,” you muttered.

“I would like to go to Seoul, please. The bumbling idiots at our police station are not up to protecting me,” Madam Jung interrupted.

“Okay, we’re going to Seoul,” you said. 

“I wish we knew if the killer was following us or not,” Haechan said. “We should try to drive as far as we can. Nope, scratch that. We do know if he’s following us or not,” Haechan sighed.

“Why are you so certain it’s a he?” you asked.

“Because he’s in a car, right behind us, and he’s holding a gun,” Haechan said.

You and Madam Jung screamed. 

“Step on the brakes! We have to get to Seoul!” you shouted. “And don’t stop, either! We have to keep moving!”

“What do you think I’m doing?” Haechan yelled back. You looked out the back window. Thankfully, Haechan was on a side road with few cars. Not thankfully, the road was paved with gravel and Haechan could only go so quickly.

“We have to get to the highway and get to Seoul. Now,” you ordered. 

Haechan nodded, for once agreeing with you. He quickly turned onto a hidden side road and sped up. 

“I know this road. We can get to the highway from here, I promise,” Haechan said. You nodded, past bickering with him. Madam Jung sat to the side, eyes closed, trying to maintain her composure. You suddenly thought of a quote you had read once from a book, something about how fear made bonds stronger. Well, it was certainly true in this case. 

Haechan made a right turn, then a left, and flew up a ramp leading to the highway. You didn’t dare look back at what was happening behind you, but Haechan did.

“We lost him!” he announced. Madam Jung breathed a sigh of relief. You slumped onto the back seat, heart beating a million miles a minute.

“Do you have a way to call the officers in Seoul?” you asked. Haechan reached for his phone, tossing it at you. It was still on, and you tried to call. 

“It’s not working,” you said.

“Oh no,” Haechan replied.

“Don’t tell me something else has happened!” you cried.

“No, I just realized I forgot to pay my phone bill,” Haechan said.

“Why would you- you know what, never mind. We really should have prepared for something like this to happen. Or taken the squad car. Oh my god, there are so many things we did wrong today,” you said, sinking into despair. You wanted to cry as you took out your phone, trying desperately to call the police station in Seoul. When your call reached an automatic system, you hung up and sank further into your seat. 

Haechan looked at you in the rearview mirror. 

“Hey, it’s going to be fine. We’ve trained for this,” he said.

“Yeah, but I haven’t had to use a weapon in a long time. I’ve only ever used it on a practice range, and I don’t know if I can do it,” you replied. “We’re driving on a highway without any help, without any way to call someone, and with a serial killer on our heels.”

“You just have to focus all your energy on protecting Madam Jung. Don’t think about anything else. Just think of the next steps we have to take, and be on a lookout for the serial killer. Right now, we just have to get to Seoul, by any way possible,” Haechan stated.

“That was really reassuring, thanks.” you said, smiling weakly.

“No, I mean it! That’s how I’m keeping myself together right now,” Haechan said. “We have to keep it together.”

You nodded, and looked at Madam Jung. In shock, you noticed that she was crying too. Her bravado was all gone, replaced by horror and fear.

“Madam Jung, don’t worry. We are all going to get out of this, safe and sound and alive and breathing air and we’re going to eat all of your watermelons. All of them,” you reassured, patting Madam Jung’s back.

Madam Jung started to cry harder.

“I don’t want to die,” she blubbered.

“Madam Jung! Right now, we have to focus on getting to Seoul. And we have to all focus on that. Not our fear, not our terror, but this. We just have to get there, and we can do it,” Haechan said. He looked at you in the mirror, giving you a reassuring smile. 

Madam Jung nodded weakly. You knew she was still scared, but there was a hint of determination in her eyes. Inspired by Madam Jung, you nodded as well. 

“We should take the highway until we get close to Seoul, then take the side roads. If there’s cars in between us and the killer, it’ll be harder for him to get to us,” you said. Haechan nodded, and the mood of the car settled into a determined one. Of course, there was still fear, but right now, there was only one thing on everyone’s minds.

Getting away from the killer, and getting to Seoul. 

The tall buildings and skyscrapers of Seoul were a tremendous comfort to your eyes. As directed, Haechan had used the highways to get close to Seoul, then abandoned the highway once it was clear the traffic was hindering the car’s speed. Now, you were on a side road heading towards the police headquarters.

Still, adrenaline was pumping through your veins, and you couldn’t figure out why the killer hadn’t followed you yet. But you didn’t want to think about it. Right now, you were focused on getting Madam Jung to the police headquarters in Seoul.

Haechan’s eyes were droopy but he was pulling through. With Madam Jung’s head on your lap (probably worn out from all the action), the scene felt almost like a comforting one. But you knew otherwise. And with every second that passed, you worried more and more. For it was only a matter of time until the serial killer came. You knew that this killer, whoever he was, was one of the more determined ones. The ones who didn’t stop until they had reached their target.

“Haechan?”

“What?”

“Do you think the serial killer is following us as we speak?”

Haechan shook his head.

“Come on, let’s try not to think about that. It’s just going to scare us.” 

“But seriously, I’m not joking. We have guns, and we have weapons. We have to think of a way to fight back if something happens.”

Silence met your ears, and you looked at Haechan. You could hear something spluttering, and the car rolled to a stop. 

“Haechan?”

“Oh no.”

“What happened? Haechan? What happened?”

A puff of air came from the engine, and Haechan’s hands fell off the steering wheel. 

“The engine’s broken,” Haechan muttered. “The stupid fu-”

“No! No, no no no no. Haechan, tell me you can fix an engine. Tell me now. Please.”

Haechan shook his head. “I’ve been pushing it, to be honest. My car’s not that great, and I’ve been going at the highest speed possible for a while now.”

“No! No, please. The killer- we don’t freaking know where the killer is. We don’t. Freaking. Know. Where. The killer. Is. I refuse to give up in the middle of a small road leading to Seoul. I refuse.”

Haechan slumped down in his seat. 

“What can we do?” 

“Well, the killer’s not here yet. We can-”

Just then, you heard, in the distance, the sound of a car approaching. 

“Ohhhhhhh no,” you groaned.

“We have to do something,” Haechan stammered out, looking at you. You nodded. 

“We have to do it for Madam Jung.”

Making sure your weapon was ready, you looked at Madam Jung’s sleeping face, and carefully put it on the car seat. You got out of the car with Haechan and stood facing the road. Haechan’s hand found yours, and in your state of horror, you took it. Both of you stared down the road at the approaching car.

Time seemed to slow down as you watched the car make its way towards the two of you. Haechan held your hand perfectly: not too tightly and not too loosely. A sudden thought hit you: Haechan would make a lovely friend. He was someone you could banter with but still someone who you could lean on.

You admonished yourself. It was not the time to think of these things. But standing there, with Haechan by your side, gave you all the confidence you needed to face whoever was hunting Madam Jung. 

You steeled yourself, wiping your tears. Haechan did so too.

The car stopped, and a man got out, holding his weapon at his side. You closed your eyes. Haechan gulped. You both took your weapons out.

“Police! Hands on your head!” Haechan yelled.

The person smirked, and raised his hands in the air, his weapon hanging on his thumb by the trigger. Your hands started to shake. You whimpered and almost fell down, but locked your knees. Haechan tried to put on a menacing glare. He would have succeeded if there weren’t traces of tears near his eyes.

“Get down, hands on your head.” Haechan reiterated.

The person smiled. 

“You can’t stop me,” he said as he pointed his gun at the both of you and moved to fire. You fired your weapon quickly. The man in front of you fell down,  reeling from the impact, but Haechan fell down as well.

“Haechan!” you shrieked. 

Haechan shook his head. “You have to go! Go! Get the person’s weapon!”

You ran quickly to the person on the ground. You frisked the person, throwing his weapon to the side, and cautiously moved to feel his pulse. The man’s eyes shot open, and he grabbed your wrist, pulling you to him. You fought it, firing your weapon into the killer’s side. He ignored it and stood up, wrestling your weapon away from your hands. You felt something being shoved into your side and started to cry. The fear had gotten the best of you. 

Haechan had just gotten up. He groaned, holding his hands to his shoulder, and froze as he saw the situation in front of him. There you were, being held by the serial killer, weapon pointed at your side. 

“Bring the old woman to me,” the killer said.

Haechan shook his head. 

“Please, don’t do this,” you blubbered, shaking in the killer’s grasp. All your training had flown out the window. You were too scared to do anything except cry. The killer held you even tighter, digging the weapon into your side. 

“Don’t do it, Haechan!” you screamed.

“Give her to me,” the killer repeated.

Haechan closed his eyes, thinking hard. You shook your head no.

The killer screamed, frustrated. 

“Give her to me, now!”

Haechan sighed, and moved to the car. He motioned something with his hands, a signal of sorts, but you couldn’t understand it. He opened the door slowly, and as he did, the killer relaxed, loosening his grip on you.

You realized you had an opening. Haechan locked eyes with you, nodding slightly. Only your fear and adrenaline were keeping you up right now. You quickly stamped down on the killer’s foot, and shifted away from him. The killer howled in pain, shooting his gun. It hit you in the side, and you doubled over, pain racketing through your body. The killer moved to fire again, and you fell onto the ground, rolling, trying to get away as fast as possible. 

Haechan acted quickly, firing his weapon.

The man fell to the ground, dead. 

You looked up at Haechan. Haechan ran to you, helping you get up and keeping pressure on your side. You started to cry, and Haechan sobbed too. You could hear Madam Jung’s cries as she got out of the car. Faint sounds of sirens hit your ears. You knew someone was coming, but you were too tired to care.

After the police arrived, they had sent all three of you to the hospital immediately. In the first two days of your stay, you slept, too tired and in pain to care about what was happening around you. 

Madam Jung, thankfully, was all right physically. Mentally, she hadn’t been doing well, so the doctors decided to keep her in the hospital. You frequently went for walks with Madam Jung around the courtyard, admiring the flowers and the various butterflies. It felt good to be alive and stress-free. 

Haechan’s shoulder was doing better. His bone had been shattered, so the doctors had also decided to keep him here in the hospital. You and Haechan had spent most of your time together, eating lunch in one of your rooms or watching anything that was on TV. It was nice. You realized that you hadn’t ever really gotten to know Haechan at work, and the time you spent together strengthened your friendship. Possibly even into something more. Of course, after two people save each other’s lives, bonds are changed forever.

One day, Haechan leads you into the courtyard to celebrate your birthday. Madam Jung brings a cake and a few slices of watermelon, which you all laugh at. The watermelon was indeed the best thing you had ever had. 

“I heard the police chief wants to give you two medals of honor,” Madam Jung said, setting down her slice of watermelon. 

“Really?” Haechan asked, looking at you. You smiled.

“We should celebrate after, and eat more watermelon. Madam Jung, you have to tell me your secrets!” you exclaimed. 

Madam Jung smiled.

“After what you two have done for me, I would do anything for you,” she replied. You shook your head.

“It was something that we needed to do. It’s part of our job,” Haechan replied. “But then again, I’d never say no to a medal of honor.”

You laughed. 

After Madam Jung left, you and Haechan sat for a while in the courtyard in comfortable silence. Slowly, Haechan reached for your hand, and you let him. The sunset was beautiful, and everything felt right within the world.

[bloodgulchblog]

What are some of your favorite examples of Chief telling jokes/being a little shit bc personally I’m eternally fond of the one in Halo CE where he purposefully crashes a banshee to mess with Cortana

I am going to go way overkill on this assignment, one sec...

Fall of Reach: In general, John being a win-focused baby jackass as a kid and having to learn about teamwork under threat of Kelly and Sam kicking his ass.

Also Cortana learning oh, of course, he's insane.

"No thanks to your driving, yes," and that thing where Cortana accidentally teleports him upside down and he gives his own helmet a little thump about it in CE.

Flashback in First Strike

Permission to leave the station to give the Covenant back their bomb in Halo 2. Also honorable mention Cortana: "Unfortunately for us both, I like crazy."

I think there's a lot of characterization of John in not just the bits where he says something that's a joke, but in the things he just lets people say to him without refuting, like when Johnson's fussing over him a bit at the start of 3 and is just like one of these days you're gonna land on something as stubborn as you are and John doesn't argue with him about it or even say anything back. You get this sense that he enjoys people being a little harmlessly exasperated with him. He loves being the big crazy bastard that everyone's kind of amazed with but also wants to strangle.

Telling Cortana "Thought I'd try shooting my way out, mix things up a little" near the end of Halo 3. (I'm getting a little sidetracked but I see so much tenderness with him playing confident about getting Cortana out of there at the end of 3 when she is so so so bad off.)

The bit in Escalation where Hood tells him he could make Admiral if he wanted and Chief tells him "the Admiral" doesn't have the same ring to it and Hood's like "Was that a joke, son? I didn't know you had it in you."

In general I felt like he didn't joke as much in 4 and 5 (and I think that's for obvious reasons given how bad he is doing) but I also do not have 4 and 5 inscribed on my soul the way I have CE-3, so I might be incorrect here. He's also just never funny in Denning Halo novels for me (part of why his characterization grates me in those) but Denning's sense of humor and mine seem to just never intersect ever and it's more of a style thing.

Chief deadpan joking with Esparza and Weapon in Infinite meant a lot to me because it felt like a return to form. The "Requires a hack." "Can you do that?" "No." CRUNCH! bit at the start in particular was like oh my god yes, yes they did it they found him again my boy is home I missed him.

[george-weasleys-girl]

I think the idea of George introducing (y/n) to his parents is totally cute and I think your style off writing would rock that. Happy new year by the way! All the best for you and your stories :)

This is my first ever request. I had such fun writing it. I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: brief allusion to sex, one mention of alcohol

~•~

Meet the Weasleys

~•~

"Ugh, gross. Why are my palms so sweaty?" Y/N muttered to herself, grabbing a paper towel, to wipe the sweat from her hands. Her early morning boost of confidence was gone, leaving her pacing from one end of the kitchen to the other.

She tossed the used paper towel in the trash and looked out the window for the 982nd time. George would be here any minute to take her to have lunch with his parents at his childhood home. A place called the Burrow.

Never in her life had Y/N been so anxious about meeting someone's parents. George seemed confident that she'd "be a hit." But, she wasn't entirely convinced. What could she, a "muggle," offer to people who could perform magic, real magic, with the simple flick of a wand? She glanced over at the apple spice cake she'd baked for dessert and hoped it would be enough.

~•~

Four months earlier

George woke up with a craving for one of the chocolate filled croissants that Ginny had purchased from a muggle bakery for James' second birthday party. Luckily for him, he had the address, and it was his day off.

The Pie in the Sky Bakery wasn't too far from Diagon Alley, so George decided to walk and enjoy the warm summer morning. Whistling as he went, he just knew it was going to be a good day. And he was right.

He didn't notice Y/N at first, distracted by all the enticing baked goods.

"Can I help you?" Her voice floated over to him, soft and melodious.

George turned and nearly stumbled over his own feet. The owner of that sweet voice somehow managed to brighten the already sunny shop even more. He was mesmerized.

"I-uh, hi." George stuttered and gave a goofy wave before clearing his throat and starting again. "Do you have any chocolate filled croissants today?"

"Of course! They're right over here. How many would you like?" Y/N bounced to the far end of the counter while George followed, a big, dopey grin spread across his freckled face.

He paid for two croissants and an espresso. Then, rather than taking a stroll, as he originally intended, George sat down at one of the little bistro tables and spent the rest of the morning exchanging shy glances and flirty banter with the lovely lady behind the counter.

When he could no longer make excuses for lingering, George approached Y/N. "Could I interest you in dinner tomorrow night?"

"Yes! I'd love to have dinner with you!" She answered, her brilliant smile melting George's heart into a puddle.

~•~

Two months later, to Y/N's delighted surprise, George confessed he was a wizard. And today, for the first time ever, he was taking her home to meet his parents.

George was practically bouncing off the walls.

"Hey mate, try not to leave any George-shaped holes in anything," Fred joked.

"I'll try!" George yelled from his bedroom. "But, I can't make any promises."

Fred shook his head and chuckled. He hadn't seen his twin this elated since he came home from the bakery four months ago gushing over Y/N.

"Ok, how do I look? George asked, suddenly appearing in front of his brother.

"Like a crazed lunatic who just broke out of the asylum."

"Ha, ha. Very funny." George deadpanned.

"Seriously though," Fred continued, scrutinizing his brother. "You look great. It's just..."

"Just what?" George looked down at himself.

"You seem a tad nervous."

"Oh that," the younger twin responded. "Well, I am bringing a girl to meet mum and dad for the first time ever. And mum didn't fancy the last two girls you and Bill brought home."

"Georgie," Fred retorted. "The reason mum didn't like Lizzy is because she had a mohawk and tattoos. And as far as Fleur goes, once mum realized she wasn't after Bill for a quick fling, she warmed right up to her."

"Yeah, you're right. I know you're right." George agreed. "I'm just overthinking again."

Fred patted him on the back. "It'll all work ou--" Fred stopped mid-sentence, closing his eyes and putting his fingertips to his temples. "Wait! I'm getting a vision...I see...you and Y/N together...in a house...and..and, there's something else. Hold on, it's starting to come into focus...yes, that's it! Loads of ginger babies!"

Fred opened his eyes to see George standing with arms folded, his lips quirked up in amusement. "Are you done?" George asked.

"Yes, quite." Fred said, lifting his chin and sauntering away.

George snorted, wondering if Fred knew he was secretly eyeing a cute, little muggle flat halfway between his shop and Y/N's.

~•~

George arrived at Y/N's oozing his usual easy confidence. "Ready for this, my love?" He asked Y/N as they walked to his car.

Y/N took a deep breath, then smiled. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Don't worry, darling." George said, bending down and planting a kiss on her cheek before opening the car door for her. "They'll love you."

~•~

The closer they got to the Burrow, the faster Y/N's heart raced. George seemed to sense this, and reaching out, he clasped her trembling, sweaty hand in his warm, steady one.

Y/N sighed as a wave of calm rolled over her. A small smile crept across her face, and she began tracing little circles on his hand with her thumb. He squeezed her hand in return, as his own small smile made an appearance.

Neither one spoke the rest of the drive. There was no need. Everything that needed to be said was conveyed through that one simple gesture connecting them to one another.

~•~

Y/N didn't have time to marvel at the impossible higgley-piggleyness of the Burrow. As soon as she stepped out of the car, Mrs. Weasley pulled her into a hug. "Oh my goodness, look at you. Cute as a button! You know, George talks about you all the time. It's so good to finally meet you! He tells me..." Mrs. Weasley's non-stop chatter faded as she led Y/N into the house, leaving George and Arthur to collect the cake.

George released a long breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Relieved, son?" Arthur asked.

"Yeah, actually." George admitted. "I was afraid she'd give Y/N the cold shoulder like she did to Fleur."

"Ah, you needn't have worried about that." Arthur began. "Bill sprung Fleur on us out of nowhere. We had no idea he was even dating anyone. But you've been talking about Y/N for months. Your mum has had time to get used to the idea. Not to mention," Mr. Weasley added with a chuckle. "She’s ecstatic that Y/N's a baker. Now she has someone to talk shop with."

The same dopey grin that had spread across George's face the day he met Y/N returned, and to Arthur's amusement, his son practically skipped into the house.

~•~

A wonderful lunch turned into an impromptu bake-a-thon with George bounding around the kitchen "helping" Y/N and Molly as they made one treat after another. His unrestrained joy was so sweet and infectious that neither of the women were upset when he accidentally put a cup of salt and a teaspoon of sugar into one of the batters, rather than the other way around.

Even Arthur, who generally stayed out of the kitchen whenever Molly was cooking, found himself pulled into the mélee by his giddy son. By the end of the day, they were all covered in flour, frosting, and a vast array of sprinkles, thanks to George and Arthur getting a bit too happy with decorating the colorful little confections.

~•~

"This ranks as one of the best days of my life," George commented as he and Y/N relaxed on the tiny balcony of her flat, sipping whiskey and nibbling on chocolate chip cookies.

"I have to agree, Georgie." Y/N concurred, using the nickname reserved only for her and Fred. "I can't believe I was so nervous. Your parents are wonderful."

George smiled and lifted her hand to his lips, leaving a lingering kiss on her knuckles. Then, he turned his gaze to the moon. "It's getting late."

"It is." Y/N responded.

"I don't want to leave."

"You know my bed is always open to you." Y/N said with a cheeky grin.

"I know." George's eyes twinkled as he uttered the next words. "But, I mean, I don't want to leave ever again."

"I know, love. We never want to part at the end of the day." Y/N responded, still not quite catching on.

"Exactly." George said, jumping right to the heart of the matter. "Will you move in with me? I know it might seem too soon, and if you aren't ready, that's okay, we can w--"

Y/N ended his ramblings with a kiss that made him forget everything he'd ever learned for a few brief moments.

"Of course, I'll move in with you." Y/N said, once they pulled away.

"R-really?"

"Yes, really."

"Yes!" George exclaimed and fist-pumped the air. "This calls for a celebration," he said, picking her up bridal style and carrying her to the bedroom.

[didnt-want-to-be-a-halfblood]

Will: so the last challenge to make it out alive is not turn around? That's stupid easy. What idiot would we have to be to turn-

Nico, deadpan: oh no I've tripped

Will, instantly turning around ready with bandaids: tell me where it hurts and I'll kiss it better

Nico: so you'll be walking behind me then

Will: That's not fair! I didn't know it was a test. Besides, I could just as easily trick you.

Nico: okay then prove it. Say something that'll make me turn around. Try.

Will: oh, a rare collectible card!

Nico: oh please 🙄

Will: holy shit is that Mussolini's Ghost??

Nico: we both know he's being tortured somewhere else rn

Will: I've never had the courage to say but I actually prefer Olive Garden to that Italian place we went to last week

Nico: see now I'm not turning around but I am considering breaking up with you

Will: that would be a shame considering I was planning on marrying you

Nico: ...

Nico *hearing Will supposedly getting down on one knee*: ...You think you're funny, huh?

Will: I'm not joking, Nico. I would go through Tartarus every day for the rest of my life if it meant being with you.

Nico, definitely blushing: Will stop. This isn't-

Will: I know it's too soon. I know we're both still figuring stuff out. But I know I'm always going to love you. I know that as deeply as I know my own name. We might not have long with all these quests and near-death situations. But until then, I want to live with you, be by your side. *whispers* Please, Nico, I love you.

Nico, turning around, face tomato red: Tell me your not seriously proposing to me in Tartarus of all places-

Will: wow that took you less than a minute

Nico: ... If we don't die I'm going to kill you after this

Will: sure but until then you'll be walking behind me. Enjoy the view 😘

Nico: just don't turn around, idiota

Will: pft, how hard could it be?

[shoot-the-oneshot]

Mine, Ours.

Phillip graves x reader Requested by anon 19, “is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?” Softy home graves is what I live for and this trope has me in a choke hold so I had to do it for our bad boy navy seal.

You were having the time of your life, music on, a hair and face mask in, your full shower routine, and no more 5-minute navy showers you were forced to take on base.

Now you were home and decided tonight was your night of pampering, you had gotten back home not to long ago and immediately took ownership of the master bath, leaving Phillip to himself in the guest room and to catch up on the football he missed in the living room.

You smiled to yourself every time you heard him shout in excitement for his team or curse a referee. While outside the wire he was overly serious and commanding, you loved seeing how he relaxed at home.

Sliding on one of his old PT shirts the bright yellow NAVY draping across your chest, bouncing into the living room finally feeling clean of the sand and dust.

Phillip drew his attention away from the game when you dropped onto the couch next to him, sticking out your leg, with a playful smile on your face.

“Feel how soft my leg is!” He chuckles running a large hand over your leg, nodding along with his words. “Very smooth Y/n.” Without hesitation, he tightened his grip and pulled you closer to him by your leg. You yelped as you got dragged across the couch.

Giggling at his antics and the smug smile on his face for finally having you tucked back against his side. Your head was resting on his chest moving with his steady breaths, as his arms wrapped around you keeping your body pressed against his.

“Think you could get my face this smooth?” He asked. Mindlessly rubbing his fingers up and down your leg. “Even if I didn’t think I could, I’d still do it to get rid of that monstrosity on your face.” You deadpanned as sweetly as possible, reaching up to tug on the hair covering his jaw. You loved him and he knew you did, but he also know how much you hated his deployment beard.

“What you don’t like when I do this?” Digging his face into your neck, rubbing the coarse hair against the sensitive skin. “Phillip!” You yelp thrashing against his tight hold. He pulled back with a smile when you stopped struggling and sat back in his lap with a huff. “You really think that was smart when you want to put a razor in my hand?” Glaring down at his blue eyes he just chuckled not believing your threat.

“You won’t do anything, come on.” His hands landed on your ass harshly, keeping his grip to hold you up when he stood, carrying you to the bathroom, cringing as he set you down the thin T-shirt not protecting you against the cold counter. Phillip, searched through his drawers setting out everything you could need. Brand new razor, shaving cream, a towel, and aftershave. You snorted grabbing one of the objects and rolling it in your hand.

“Is this Dior aftershave?” Phillip who was leaning over the sink next to you laughed and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t take it in the field, okay, I’d never hear the end of it” he mumbled the last part like you weren’t supposed to hear, making you giggle. Running his hands up the length of your thighs slowly pushing them apart to make room for his body as he stood between them. “Before I start what exactly am I getting out of this?” Phillip paused huffing out a laugh knowing exactly what you wanted.

“Oh so getting this ’monstrosity’ off my face as you called it isn’t enough?” Shaking your head looking up at him with those same wide eyes he fell in love with. “Alright, ill make you dinner for a week. now Come on baby..lather me up.” His poor attempt at a joke make you shake your head a fond smile on your face nonetheless. Gently slapping the handful of saving cream he didn't notice you had against his cheek with a splat.

“Think your funny huh?” He sighed, going unheard as you were still laughing at the shock in his blue eyes with half his face covered in the thick cream some even dropping to his chest. Nodding your head giggling into your hands. He shook his head to himself slyly grabbing the can and holding it over your head and wrapping his free arm around your waist so you couldn’t run.

“Phillip stop!” You screamed as he ruffled your hair mixing it in, his laugh booming with your softer ones, as you both calmed down the room almost humming with the affection he was suddenly looking at you with. “Can I start now commander?” You breathed out, distracted by his thumbs now rubbing circles on your hips. “Permission granted darlin’”

Gently holding one side of his jaw you worked on the other moving the razor in smooth drags, dipping it in the water to clean it off every few strokes. The peaceful silence lasted most of the duration until Phillips brows furrowed. Moving your focus from the blade to his eyes, “What’s wrong?”

He tilted his chin down towards you, “Is that my shirt?” Scoffing at his question you moved his face back where you wanted it. “You mean my shirt? What happened to what’s yours is mine?” You teased, making him chuckle trying not to move not wanting to risk getting cut, knowing even if it was his fault you’d still feel guilty.

“You’re right, I meant our shirt.” He rephrased, watching you smile happily at his correction. As you gently wipe away any reminisce of the shaving cream off his face and neck, straightening up and pressing a peck to his lips brushing against them as you spoke. “Much better.”

hey hope you guys liked it let me know! request are open

Modern warfare masterlist

COD taglist

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 2 - It’s not a date! … or is it?!

Summary: Aizawa-sensei makes it really hard to not think about this outing as a date; he looks gorgeous, the conversation flows so easily and you both spill all your secrets to each other like it’s the most normal thing between two almost-strangers. You really start to wonder if this is all just you being way too invested in this fake date or there is really something in the air.

Warnings: Swear words, mentions of Eri’s past, mentions of child-neglect. 16+

First chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“What am I supposed to wear?!” You yell into your phone.

It’s 8AM. You are meeting up with your niece’s teacher in two hours and all you’ve managed to do since you wake up was to put on a bra, an underwear and freak the shit out in the middle of doing so, ending up sprinting between your dresser and your full body mirror, almost naked.

You are a fucking adult who’s about to turn 30. By the way. An adult who has a child to take care of… you can only hope no one hears your inner thoughts and calls child protection on you, thinking you are incapable of raising a teenager. Honestly, you have no idea how you had made it to this point in your life. You are a fucking mess.

“You called me in the middle of my class stating ‘it’s an emergency… for this?!” Megumi laughs, clearly not believing your shenanigans.

“Shut up brat, this is all your fault! You forced me to do this so suffer with me!”

“He likes the color black. I hope that helps.” She murmurs, happily.

“You want me to meet your teacher while looking like I’m about to go to someone’s funeral?!”

“Have you seen the guy you are about to meet?” Megumi retorts and fuck, she is right.

“Funeral wear it is, then.” You can hear Megumi’s distant giggle as you end the phone call and decide to wear the black dress Megumi bought for you; it suits her more than it suits you but to be absolutely honest you’ve always been envious of your niece’s badass style because you’ve just never had the balls to leave your house in a rebellious attire. Well, ladies and gents and everyone in between, today is the day when you wear the Dr. Martens boots you’ve never used and make an absolute fool of yourself in front of your child’s teacher. Honestly, why not. It isn’t an actual date anyway, if it all goes wrong at least you have a great story to tell.

You take a quick selfie and send it to Megumi who sends you a bunch of emojis you can’t understand, but overall, it looks like an approval so you finish the set with a bit of eyeliner and mascara, just as heavy as your attire.

You really hope Aizawa sensei wants to have his coffee at My Chemical Romance concert, otherwise this will be really awkward.

Oh well, you are out of time to change your mind about your attire now.

You take a deep breath as you head towards UA, hoping that 3 tough plasters and a special sock will be enough to keep your feet safe from the evil boots on your feet.

~•🩶•~

You’re 15 minutes early. The area around UA is silent; it’s too early for the media presence and the students are all in class together with their teachers. You are just about to sit down on a nearby bench and make yourself comfortable for the next fifteen minutes when someone clears his throat behind you; Aizawa-sensei looks at you questioningly, with a hint of a smile quirking up his lips.

“Did Megumi-Chan force you to wear this today?” He asks, amused.

He looks absolutely stunning; his usually unruly hair is pulled into a pony tail, his bangs loose at the front which makes him look so much softer; he wears black jeans with a plain black shirt and a trench coat, his signature scarf and his usual eyepatch.

“Half Megumi and half midlife crisis.” You deadpan, already hating all your life decisions. And also, this joke. It really wasn’t that funny.

Apparently, Aizawa sensei has a fucked up sense of humor because he snorts and makes his way towards the other side of road.

“Let’s talk about your midlife crisis over a cup of coffee. I hope you don’t mind if I give you a ride.” He tries his best to smile but it looks so forced you can’t help but laugh. “What?”

“You really need to love your class to do this for a student. I’m glad my girl has such a great homeroom teacher.” You smile fondly at the grumpy man.

“I’m just doing my job.” He mumbles with a straight face and opens the door for you; he tries to fake nonchalance but you can’t miss the hint of dusty pink appearing on his cheeks. This man loves a good praise. Good to know.

The car ride is awkward and silent, none of you really know what to say. If this would be an actual date you would probably start freaking out but you know he’s only doing this for the sake of your niece, so you decide to leave it as it is. He stops at a medium sized coffee place; their logo is really cute, it’s full of tiny drawings of kittens, tiny paws splattered all over the background and the inside looks warm and cosy, cats wondering between the legs of the customers, begging for food.

Wait.

Cats?!

“Aizawa-sensei… is this a fucking cat coffee?!” You laugh out loud before entering place.

“Language.” He sighs. “It was my son’s idea. I have no idea how to do this dating thing.”

You are not sure which part do you wanna question first; the one about his son or the fact that he called this an actual date. You decide to start with the former.

“You have a son?!”

“… Let’s sit down first. I should have asked if you are allergic to cats shouldn’t I?” The man radiates an anxious energy which surprises you; if this is just a fake date why is he so worried?

“I love cats.” You smile as you sit down on the corner sofa; thankfully, the place is almost empty so you will be able to have a personal conversation without being disturbed or have the need to yell over a group of random people. Date or not, you do want to know more about Megumi’s teacher and you genuinely like him, so no one can judge you for trying, right?

The two of you sit down next to each other and order right away; Aizawa-sensei gets a cold brew without any milk or sugar while you order their signature coffee latte which apparently comes with a handmade latte art. Aizawa must have a second secret quirk as all the cats gang up on him right away; there are two fluffy Maine coons staring at him from the floor, waiting to be pet. Aizawa wears a tiny smile as he takes one of them in his hands and puts the ball of fur down on his lap to slowly stroke their fur to calm himself. The cat looks really happy in his new place, purring contently with every caress.

“So you have a son.” You go back to your last topic without hesitation.

“You are just as nosy as your niece.” He sighs again. “I have a son and a daughter. Their name is Hitoshi and Eri. They aren’t mine biologically, I adopted them two years ago. Hitoshi was a student of mine who’s been neglected by his parents and ended up in an orphanage. Eri… Eri went through hell. My students found her during a mission. She’s only eight.” There is so much pain on his face you physically need to grab your own hand to stop yourself from reaching out.

“She’s so young…”

“That little girl went through things no one ever should. But she’s safe now. She’s struggling with a lot of trauma, but Hitoshi and I do our best to put her at ease.”

“You are amazing, you know that, right?” You smile sadly, your eyes shining with unshed tears. “You really are a hero. Taking two kids in as a single parent just to grant them the happiness they couldn’t ever have…”

“So are you.” Aizawa jumps in. “You’ve done the same for Megumi haven’t you?” He smiles; it’s barely there but it makes your heart rate quicken; he might be a broken man but there is just something about him; you thought it’s his mysteriousness that makes you so invested in him but looking at him right now after hearing his story makes you wonder if this is what people call “fate”; your heart makes another somersault at the thought. This isn’t a date - you remind yourself. “Want to tell me about it, Y/N?”

You end up telling him everything; from your shitty childhood to how you ended up taking care of Megumi and he thanks you by telling you his own story; you laugh, you cry and the conversation just flows naturally; the coffee gets cold by the time you manage to even realize it’s been delivered but you both drink it anyway and order a new one to prolong the date as much as possible. You really don’t want today to end.

Aizawa somehow manages to lure all the cats to his side of the sofa, all waiting patiently for their turn to be petted. You look at the hero with a fake pout, trying to look offended but probably failing miserably because you can’t hide the tiny smile as you look at Aizawa’s face; he looks proud and happy to be surrounded by all these fluffy animals, his face is so smooth and content you can only wonder if there was ever a person who could manage to soften him the same way these fluffy cats do; the answer is probably no. You really want to change that. Fuck’s sake you are way too invested in this date.

“I can’t believe you hog all the cats for yourself by the way, I’m offended.” You giggle while you look at the purring cats with pure jealousy; you try your best win them over by making sounds and letting them smell your hand in an offer of friendship but they don’t even bother to look your way.

“I don’t mind sharing.” Aizawa murmurs, scooting closer to the corner of the sofa while urging you to do the same; you meet in the middle, your knee touching his as he moves one of his fluffy companions to your lap but you can barely concentrate on the warm little body when you realize how cold and rigid Aizawa’s leg feels like around his shin ; that’s when you realize you are touching a piece of metal instead of a human leg. You try your best not to think about too much but it makes you remember the way he lost it; the story was all over the news and you remember crying, surrounded by other civilians within the safety of four massive walls and an unbreakable defense system, while this teacher crippled himself to save his student’s life. You shake your head once and start stroking the purring little creature who’s splayed over both of your legs now. There is a fluttering feeling in your heart but you are not sure if it’s thanks to the cute cat or the beautiful, highly respected man next to you. Probably both.

“Do you not have any questions about my prosthetic? It’s usually the first thing people ask about.” He mumbles while munching on a cat shaped pastry.

“You chopped your own fucking shin off to save the country.” You deadpan. “It’s common knowledge. And you are clearly more than capable to live without it, so I really don’t care about that and no one should. Are you self-conscious about it?”

“I only chopped the half of it off, don’t exaggerate.” Aizawa ‘jokes’. “I wouldn’t really say I am… but it did cross my mind today.” Aizawa admits. “My friend Hizashi was really excited about me leaving the school grounds and gave me all kind of silly tips and tricks to look nicer and I realized there’s no point in my case; I can’t hide my missing eye and I can only hide my prosthetic legs until things get serious. I’ve never really cared about my looks, but… it really bothered me today. For some reason.”

You can’t believe this man.

“I will say something really inappropriate right now, but I’m doing it for your own good.” You mumble with a red face. “I… kinda find your disheveled, battle-scarred look… attractive. And I also respect the shit out of you for what you’ve done for our country and for the kids… so if you wouldn’t be my kid’s teacher…” You are incapable of making an eye contact right now so you just stare at the 5 cats roaming around Aizawa.

“Please, do not finish that sentence.” Aizawa hides his face in embarrassment. You can’t help but laugh at that.

“Aizawa-sensei, you are really handsome. And kind. And really attractive. Deal with it.”

“Such a smooth talker you are.” He grumbles under his nose. “My name is Shouta by the way.”

The time freezes as he says his name; being on a first name basis is a really meaningful thing in Japan and it’s definitely not something you let others do after one not-a-date.

“Shouta.” You look up at the hero, your cheeks dusted with pinks and reds. He looks confused and surprised, like the words are just coming out of his mouth without his knowledge and he can’t make it stop.

The moment gets ruined when Shouta’s phone starts to ring; he looks at the evil machine with a frown.

“Well, somehow we ended up talking until the afternoon and I need to get Eri from school now.” He sighs. You don’t want this to end. Fuck, you know you are getting way to invested in this and you know he’s not feeling the same about you, but… “Do you want to meet her?” … or he is. Oh god, your heart can barely keep up with the mess of emotions inside you. “I can make us proper lunch after. I’m quite sure Megumi-chan won’t mind you staying out late for one day.” Aizawa doesn’t look into your eyes and it’s so endearing; he makes it sound like it’s not a big deal but you’ve been talking each other’s ears off for hours now yet he doesn’t want you to leave. Your heart stutters and the butterflies are having a blast in your stomach as you shyly nod while biting your lips to ground yourself.

“I would love to.”

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- So. People with prosthetic legs can drive a car but people advice them to get an automatic one for obvious reasons. They can also continue driving with one eye if they have a good enough vision in the other eye to meet the legal standards and are adapted to their new condition. Thank you for listening to all this random information you’ll hopefully never need in your life. 😂

- People can’t pick up cats in cat cafe’s though, so please don’t do that. 🐈

- I really need to stop overthinking this fanfiction.

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