#they just don't know that yet

[trensu]

How about a Magic is Real au with a dash of cursed item dubcon thrown in? I feel like there should be more of this type of au in the fandom. Y'know, for funsies.

--

Okay yeah, Steve probably shouldn't have touched the cursed object. Like, it's practically in the name, right? And Steve might not be genius-smart like nearly everyone in his friend group but he's not an idiot. He's got common sense. He's the one that grabs Dustin by the collar or steps in front of Nancy when they get into their heads to run some genius plan without taking into account that, like him, they're frail mortal humans.

Which is why he touched the cursed object himself--a handwritten poem on some thick paper that's yellowed with age--because if he hadn't, they both would have gone for it. He saw them start to reach out because they're both too stubbornly curious for their own good. He figured if the object was actually cursed, it's better that he carry the curse and have the genius-level smart people on the job of figuring out how to break it rather than them being cursed and benched for it. It's sensible! Of course none of them listen to him. But he's feeling fine so really, what does it matter?

"Okay, hand it over," Dustin says after Steve didn't display any negative effects.

"Nope! Not happening, Henderson," he responds cheerfully. Dustin tries to protest but Nancy cuts him off.

"No one else is touching the thing until it's been put in the neutralization circle. Just because Steve hasn't had a visible reaction to it doesn't mean something didn't happen."

"Look at the bright side," Robin tells the still grumbling Dustin. "We get to visit your favorite dragon master!"

"Dungeon," Dustin says exasperatedly. "Eddie's a dungeon master."

Steve and Robin roll their eyes simultaneously. "Whatever."

So they trek over to Eddie's place. Nancy and Dustin trade off questioning Steve the whole time.

"What does it say?" Dustin asks.

"I don't know, it's just some poem? No name on it. Looks kinda...sappy," Steve shrugs. "Do you want me to read it to you?"

"Better not," Nancy shakes her head. "It might be a spell that activates by voice. How does it feel?"

"...like paper. It feels like old paper."

"No weird sensations? Is it lighter or heavier than you'd expect? Does it look odd when you read from it?"

"No, Nance, it literally just feels and looks like some old-timey English homework."

"And you're still not feeling weird?" Robin asks, because she's his platonic soulmate who cares about him doesn't get wrapped up in every new puzzle that shows up like Dustin and Nancy.

"Still feeling fine. Seriously, I'm starting to think the rumors were just, y'know, rumors." He tucks the supposedly cursed paper into his jacket pocket, ignoring Nancy and Dustin's indignant protests.

They finally arrive at Eddie's place. Eddie opens the door with his usual mischievous grin.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company today, my lords and ladies?" he asks with a lazy half-bow.

"Eddie! We need to use your neutralization circle," Dustin starts to explain.

Steve should probably try to pay attention but he can't because Eddie is here. Eddie is here and taking up all his focus, and if Steve doesn't kiss him right now he might die. Steve moves without a second thought, shoving Dustin to the side to get right into Eddie's space. Eddie's bambi eyes widen (fuck he's beautiful, how is he so beautiful) and tries to take a half step back and hey, that's not allowed.

"Whoa there, big boy, what--"

Steve doesn't know what he was about to ask because he's pulled Eddie close and nipped at his lips. Eddie yelps in surprise, and Steve takes advantage to deepen the kiss The shocked whimper that escapes Eddie's throat thrills Steve. Eddie starts to relax into his arms and all Steve can think is yes, yes, this is what he wants. Distantly he hears someone squawk in shock, followed by other similar exclamations from other people that really really don't matter right now because Eddie is in his arms and Eddie wants him and he needs Eddie to take him to bed right now.

Eddie tears his mouth away from Steve and wait no, why's he doing that, oh, hang on Steve can work with this. Steve presses wet kisses along Eddie's jawline.

"S-Steve," Eddie gasps, and doesn't that just sound delicious? But it would be even better if Eddie would just scrape his teeth against Steve's neck. Huh. That's a...what do you call it? Dilemma? Yeah, a dilemma. How can he get Eddie to cover him in love bites and talk to him in that voice at the same time. He pulls back for just a moment to ask Eddie what he would rather do, because Steve is down for whatever Eddie wants, and in that moment the worst possible thing happens.

Someone else's hands grab the back of his shirt and yank him back while Eddie takes the chance to also shove him away?? Why is he shoving Steve away?

"What the fuck," Eddie says, sounding slightly hysterical. "What the fuck just happened?"

Did Steve upset him? Oh god, what did Steve do wrong? He knows Eddie wants him so he must've screwed up big time if Eddie's pushing him away now. Steve has to fix it, he has to.

He tries to get back to Eddie but the hands on him tighten their grip and Steve nearly growls in frustration.

"Steve what are you doing?!" Nancy asks, voice high pitched and grating and Steve feels a flare of annoyance because wasn't it obvious?

"I was kissing Eddie," Steve bites out.

"Why?!" Dustin screeches.

"Because I'm good at it and I want him to fuck me," Steve snaps. Because, again, this should be obvious and they are getting in his way.

Dustin slams his hands over his ears, screeching again. "NOPE, NO, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS."

Underneath the screeching, Steve hears Eddie giggle. When he looks over to where Eddie's plastered himself on the opposite wall (and damn, why hasn't Eddie shoved him up against the wall yet? He can't think of anything better than having Eddie manhandle him), he sees that while Eddie is giggling, he doesn't look exactly happy about it. He looks skittish, which is the opposite of what he's supposed to look like. He's supposed to look like he wants to eat Steve up with a spoon. Steve tries to smile at him anyway because he loves Eddie's laugh and he hates seeing Eddie distressed. For some reason, Steve's smile makes Eddie look more distressed.

"Uh," Robin clears her throat. "So, um, is this something new? Because, I'm kind of insulted you didn't tell me you were dating, Steve. We're supposed to tell each other these things!"

"We're not, we're so not. I have no idea what's happening right now" Eddie interjects and Steve feels his heart splinter a bit. Alright, Eddie might technically be right in that they haven't actually done or said anything about dating or making out or doing dirty dirty things to each other before but that doesn't matter because he knows Eddie wants him and he needs Eddie.

"Eddie," Steve says, "Eddie it's fine, I just want...why are you so far away?" Steve takes a lurching step towards him.

Suddenly, Nancy's hands move from where they'd been gripped into his shirt and puts him in a chokehold. "Nance," Steve rasps. "What? Let go."

"I think we've found the curse, Steve, so no, I'm not letting go," Nancy says firmly.

"Curse?" Eddie asks, looking straight at Nancy and not sparing Steve even a glance, what the fuck. Steve struggles against Nancy's hold but she doesn't budge an inch.

"We were following up a rumor about a cursed object and we found a handwritten poem--"

"--that the dingus of course just had to grab--"

Well that was rude. Steve's gotta find himself a better platonic soulmate. But that's a problem for later, right now he has to figure out how to coax Eddie back.

"He said he was fine though," Dustin whines. "He was acting completely normal!!"

"We were coming over to use your neutralization circle so we could investigate the item safely. And yes, Steve was behaving normally before we got here," Nancy continues to explain. God, why did these people have to talk so much? Can't they see they're wasting their time?

"I am fine, I don't know why you all are acting like this," Steve complains and tries to wriggle out of Nancy's grip again.

"Why we're acting like this?" Dustin splutters.

"We're not the ones acting weird, idiot," Robin says.

"You're keeping me from Eddie," Steve says as an explanation. "Nancy let me go!"

"Yeah, that's not--this is not normal behavior for you, Steve-o," Eddie says, and he might as well have stabbed Steve in the heart. How could Eddie not know how much Steve needed him?

"Eddie," Steve whimpers. He needs to fix this immediately. "Don't say that, Eddie. I'm sorry, whatever I did, I'm sorry okay? Tell Nance to let me go and I'll make it up to you. Just give me a chance. I'll make you feel really good, Eddie, I promise. You want me on my knees don't you? I can do that! You can even pull on my hair."

Eddie makes a strangled sound. Nancy on the other hand makes a disgusted noise that was almost inaudible under another of Dustin's screeches. Robin starts to babble something about getting the paper into the circle yesterday.

Steve really doesn't understand why everyone is freaking out.

(one additional bit to the au)

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[pigswithwings]

the angel staying over at my house asked for a nightlight in their room and i told them buddy, don't you produce your own light? what're you gonna do with more? and they said they wanted to see why people like it so much. and also that the nightlight i own is blue and they've been trying to understand color. anyways i think they've stared at it for an hour now

[shopcat]

the baby has one parent's little face marking thing and the other's coat because they're a little horse family the world is a beautiful place

[leupagus]

It's really fucked up when you treat characters like people and people like characters.

[emthimofnight]

In which Sonic gets to show Stellar the world he loves so much, and Shadow gets a much-needed break.

(From my SonDADow AU, which you can learn about a bit HERE!)

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael knows FNAF Moon is a lawsuit waiting to happen

[wiisagi-maiingan]

I love tornado survival guides. "Shelter in a basement or interior room without any windows. But if you're in a mobile home, just fucking die I guess lol"

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[trans-axolotl]

one of the reasons it's really hard for a lot of intersex people when intersex topics are on the news cycle is because the public's reaction reveals how little anyone knows or cares about intersex people, including people who call themselves our allies. almost every time intersex topics are trending, the discourse surrounding them is filled with misinformation. people who only learned today what the word intersex means jump into conversations and act like an authority. endosex/dyadic/perisex people get tripped up over things that are basically intersex 101, with tons of endosex people incorrectly arguing about the definition of intersex, who "counts," DSD terminology, and so much more. i've seen multiple endosex people say today that they've been "warning intersex people" and that we should have known that transphobia would catch up with us eventually, which is an absolutely absurd thing to say given the fact that consistently over the past ten years, it has often been intersex people sounding the alarm on sex-testing policies and also the fact that many, many intersex people are also trans, and already are facing the impacts of transphobia. there is an absolute failure from the general public to take intersex identity seriously; people seem not even able to fathom that intersex people have a community, history, and our own political resources. instead, endosex people somehow seem to think they're helping by bringing up half-remembered information from their high school biology class which usually isn't even relevant at all.

and this frustrates me so fucking much. not because i want to deny the impacts of transphobic oppression--i'm a trans intersex person, trust me when i say i am intimately aware of transphobia. this frustrates me because there is no way we can achieve collective liberation if our "allies" fail to even engage with basic intersex topics and are seemingly unaware of the many forms of intersex oppression that we are already facing every fucking day. if you are not aware of compulsory dyadism, if you are not aware of interphobia, if you are not aware of the many different ways that intersex people are directly and often violently targeted--how the fuck do you think we're going to dismantle all of these systems of oppression?

if you were truly an intersex ally, you would already KNOW that this is not new, and would not be surprised--interphobia in sports has been going on for decades. you would know that we do have a community, an identity, a history--you would have already read/listened/watched to intersex resources that give you the background information you need for allyship. you would know that although there is a really distinct lack of resources and political education, that intersex people ARE developing a political understanding of ourselves and our oppression--Cripping Intersex by Celeste Orr and their framework of compulsory dyadism is one example of how we're theorizing our oppression. It's absolutely fucking wild to me how few people I've seen actually use words like "interphobia" "intersexism" "compulsory dyadism" or "intersex oppression"--endosex people are seemingly incapable of recognizing that there is already an entrenched system of oppression towards intersex people that violently reshapes our bodies, restricts our autonomy, and attempts to eradicate intersex through a variety of medical and legal means.

you cannot treat intersex people like an afterthought. not just because we're meaningful parts of your community and deserving of solidarity, but also because intersex oppression impacts everyone!!! especially trans community--trans people will not be free until intersex people are free, so much of transphobia is shaped by compulsory dyadism, the mythical sex binary, all these ideas of enforced "biological sex" that are just as fake as the gender binary.

it makes me absolutely fucking livid every time this shit happens because it becomes so abundantly clear to me how little the average endosex person knows about intersex issues and also how little the average endosex person cares about changing that. i don't know what to say to get you to care, to get you to change that, but we fucking need it to happen and i, personally, am tired of constantly being grateful when i meet an endosex person who knows the bare minimum. i think we have a right to expect better and to demand that if you're going to call yourself our ally, you actually fucking listen to us when we tell you what that means.

okay for endosex people to reblog.

[shwinlsol]

I apparently have an affinity for drawing grizzled old men and their psychopathic exes

[lotus-pear]

mourning black and the death of ideals

[bacchuschucklefuck]

class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)

[dragondawdles]

the beastie <3

[egophiliac]

I have SO many thoughts about everything and they are in no kind of order yet, so here's just some quick little bits in the meantime!

I am not normal about any of these characters!

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.