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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left

Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!

Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.

so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi

oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan

“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor

oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point

hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus

and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead

“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true

and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else

holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill

these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door

OH SHIT LMAO

DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT

(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)

anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame

lmaoooooooooooo

“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”

see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT

“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here

see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law

“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words

lol of course

well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol

dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions

oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol

(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)

look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT

“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”

I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits

lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl

he seems genuinely confused lol

Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart

lol they just took his word for it?

so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao

“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude

NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN

I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES

“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good

-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT

really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh

AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)

the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(

oi who the fuck is this clown

is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist

easy there Sasori

well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so

“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh

now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees

so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)

NO NOT MORE SAD EYES

“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO

fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out

this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen

OMGFGGG

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)

THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP

HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS

IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???

LIGHTS!!!!

INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.

and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.

this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.

but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.

and you know, it almost reminds me of...

just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)

“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME

#bnha 318 #midoriya izuku #BAKUGOU KATSUKI #!!!!#twowy mctwoface #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bakudeku #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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zukkaoru · 3 years

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Fic Writer Review

tagged by @bisexualpercabeth tysm for the tag!! <3

1. how many works do you have on AO3? 85 lol

2. what’s your total AO3 word count? 489,407.. don't ask how much of that is just from the past year lol

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? i have posted fics for 20 different fandoms on ao3 and i am not going going to list them all out but my top five are atla, 0uat, tlok, h$mtmt$, and tales of arcadia

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. plum blossom 2. you clutched my brain and eased my ailing 3. my calamitous love & insurmountable grief 4. five times ryan came out (and one time he couldn't) 5. feels like love

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not? i usually try to but sometimes i simply do not know what to say. or i let too many comments build up in my inbox and end up just not responding bc i'm overwhelmed oops

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? uh. it's gotta be one of my old 0uat fics bc i don't usually like to write angsty endings anymore skdgfdj i'm not sure i want to link to any specific oneshot but if you're curious you can look back through my ao3 ig there's also looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away but that's part of a series so the entire coherent story doesn't end angstily lol

(continued under the cut)

7. do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written? i don't really anymore but oh boy. the craziest one i've ever written? one of my friends and i started writing a fic back when we were like ten and we literally called it The Megacrossover (the mega for short) bc we just. shoved as many fandoms as we could in that thing. it started out just being a pjo / hp / thg crossover where the characters got reaped for a hunger games based on their cabin at camp half-blood but then we ended up including doctor who and 0uat in the plot to get everyone out of the arena, and then we brought in olaf for some reason (?) and we also had plans to bring in characters from divergent and the maze runner but unfortunately we never finished. anyway. long live the mega. it's still in a binder on my bedroom floor at home

8. have you ever received hate on a fic? yeah but not recently. my favorite was someone hate commenting on chapter eleven of a doctor who fic i posted on ff.net that i wrote when i was like 13-14. and when i called them out in the author's note of the next chapter, saying "if you don't like you don't have to read" they commented again and said something like "well obviously you don't know if you don't like it until you start reading, stupid" like yeah bro but. eleven chapters? if it took you that long to realize you didn't like it, that's sounds like a you problem

9. do you write smut? if so what kind? nope lol

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i know of lol

11. have you ever had a fic translated? nope

12. have you ever co-written a fic before? not besides The Mega. but corey and i create (mostly cursed) AUs together which is close enough <3

13. what’s your all time favorite ship? i am morally obligated to answer outlaw queen for this. but currently matchablossom is occupying all my thoughts

14. what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? oh there are so many atla fic ideas i have that i'm not sure i'll ever have time to flesh out and write. there's one i came up with based very loosely on the song snow by ricky montgomery that's sokka-centric but it's very complex and elaborate and i could definitely see it being upwards of 200k words and i just. don't have time for it which is very sad to me bc it would be so good if i did

15. what are your writing strengths? i'm so bad at questions like this. i don't know?? sometimes i write and i like everything about what i'm writing and sometimes i write and i hate it all. i guess dialogue ? sure

16. what are your writing weaknesses? action scenes. describing the physical details of the setting. sometimes (see: a lot of times) i write sentences so long and convoluted that they make sense to no one other than me.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? gonna be honest i really haven't seen that much of this? like i think it's cool when it comes up bc i love other languages! but i also always worry i'm going to be mistranslating something whenever i do it skdhjgfd also if you're going to be doing a lot of it, i feel like you should probably include a translation somewhere so people know what's going on without having to like. switch back and forth between the fic and google translate or smth

18. what was the first fandom you wrote for? percy jackson

19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve written? it's probably gotta be this ultraviolet morning light (which is now on the second page of my fics what the heck???) tuvml is my baby and the longest fic i've finished to date and i still think about how rising sun verse zuko and sokka are doing quite often. i've also still got a couple half-finished fics for that universe and a longer sequel i'd love to publish someday but i've been. distracted by other fics

tagging (with no obligation): @that-was-anticlimactic @smilehoneyy @bisexuallsokka @beachytablecloth and anyone else who wants to!!

#tag game #i wrote some pretty angsty fics after robin's death so #technically my fic with the angstiest ending probaby comes from that time #but i wasn't super active on ao3 and i will not be providing a link to any of my old fics that are not on ao3

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alirhi · 3 years

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random snippet again

as promised, @feralgoblintea here's the (temporary) scene where the two sisters meet for the first time since one went missing as a child

note about the nickname: Rachel's middle name is Miranda; everyone has called her 'Andy' from that since she was a little kid. it's explained in her story, but not in this scene, so I just wanted to explain it here lol

"Your parents are very eager to know where you've been and what you've been going through all these years," the doctor told her, deep voice oddly gentle and soothing. Rachel smiled sadly; his voice reminded her of Amadeus. "Most of all, they want to know that you're alright."

She knew he thought she was crazy. Her parents definitely shared that opinion, which was why she was here to begin with. Still, she couldn't help asking, "And, in your professional opinion, am I?"

He caught her lightly mocking tone and snorted, leaning back in his chair to mirror her pose. "In my professional opinion," he shot back, though the sarcasm left his tone before he even finished his sentence, "you've been through Hell, Rachel. The trauma you've suffered is very, very real. If you're asking, do I believe in demons and portals and time travel, I'd have to say no. But that pain and fear came from somewhere... I'd like you to come back in for regular sessions, if you're up for it; see if we can cut through the fantasy, see past the demons and find the real monsters who hurt you."

"That's why I'm not coming back." She stood, shaking her head a little. "I'm not surprised you don't believe me - I probably wouldn't believe it, myself, if I hadn't lived it - but it's a bit frustrating. What I told you isn't metaphors or delusion. It all happened, and I'm not interested in having someone rip it all apart and try to make me doubt my own memory."

"They call that 'gaslighting' these days."

Startled, the blonde whirled around to face the source of the new voice; a woman she sort of vaguely recognized was standing in the doorway, hand on the knob, smiling at her. After a long moment, her brain helpfully edited the image before her to make it make sense; wild red hair to dirty blonde, violet eyes to mismatched green and blue, face younger and body smaller and more plump. "...Beck?!"

Rebecca's smile widened and she stepped forward with a nod. "Hey, Andy."

"Oh my god!" With a laugh and a delighted screech, she launched herself across the room and threw her arms around her little sister. "What are you doing here?"

Nearly squeezing the breath out of her, the younger woman murmured, "I heard you were back and had to see you. Stand your ground, Andy. Don't let them make you forget or doubt that it was all real. We know the truth." She released her, only to bring her hands up to grip the sides of her sister's head. "Magic is real."

Rachel froze, staring at Rebecca's mouth long after it closed and the two long, wicked fangs that had drawn her attention were hidden from view. "...What happened to you?"

"Not here. I'll tell you everything, but not here."

"Okay." Without so much as a backward glance at the shrink, she followed the redhead out of the office, past their fretting parents, and out into the bright sunny day that made Rebecca hiss.

She cringed and immediately donned a beat-to-hell baseball cap and a pair of dark sunglasses. "Fuck, I hate sunny days."

"You always did." Rachel couldn't help smiling faintly; so many years had passed, more than anyone in the world around them could ever understand, and yet so little about her baby sister had changed.

"Yeah, well... I've only gotten more sensitive to it."

Once they'd made it deep enough into the woods behind the Industrial Park that there was no risk of anyone overhearing, they stopped, and Rachel asked her point blank: "You're a vampire, aren't you?"

Rebecca laughed, gratefully leaning back into the shade of the nearest tree. "Only in our lives is that a casual conversation starter. And yes. Thankfully I'm old enough that daylight won't kill me. It's just unpleasant."

With her own accidental time travel in mind, the blonde asked, "How old are you?" Thirty-seven, she knew, in the eyes of the people around them; to them, Rachel herself had only just turned thirty-nine, and yet both sisters looked at each other with exhausted, haunted eyes millennia older than they could ever hope to make anyone else understand.

"As a vampire, or in general?" She smirked, shrugging off her own question before her sister could answer. "In general is harder to pin down, but I've been a vampire for about six thousand years, give or take a few."

Leaning against a tree roughly opposite Rebecca's, Rachel mirrored her smirk and crossed her arms over her chest. "I was Queen of an entire planet, and then POW and slave on a second, then a fugitive... I managed to send my older daughter home, before I got stuck on a third planet with my boys and little girl. It's been about ten thousand years."

"You have kids?" Rebecca grinned, once again showing those distractingly long fangs. "Me, too! I have two daughters, Madeline and Alice."

"Senna, Kieran, Caspian, and...Cassie," Rachel told her in answer to her unspoken question. She couldn't help blushing as she listed her children's names; she'd since learned what senna was, and hadn't actually given her younger two children names beginning with the same sound on purpose. It had just sort of worked out that way.

"Twins?"

She shook her head. "Caspian's my stepson, kinda, and Cassie was named after-"

Rebecca flinched, remembering. "After Cassie Wade, right? I was so focused on figuring out what happened to you, and then fighting to survive, I'd forgotten she went missing with you."

"She..." Clearing her throat, the blonde squared her shoulders and pulled her strong front around herself like a familiar safety blanket. "She saved our lives; she didn't make it. And, yeah. I named my youngest after her. Anyway, they're all grown, and Kieran..." Jaw clenching, she forcibly dismissed thoughts of her rapist and merely said, "He's my perfect warrior prince. Well, King now. I love them all, and desperately miss Senna, but Kieran, despite his more questionable choices, has a special place in my heart."

Rebecca took her sunglasses off and studied her for a moment before venturing, "Y'know... I literally eat rapists for breakfast."

That got a startled bark of laughter from her big sister, who shook her head. "Even if my boy hadn't already killed him, I doubt his gross, rancid blood would sit well with you. He wasn't human."

The redhead shrugged, smirking again. "Doesn't have to be. I've eaten Fae, elves, one vampire that pissed me off royally..."

"Not such a picky eater anymore, huh?" she teased, grinning. "Was it some badass revenge on your sire or something?"

Laughing, Rebecca shook her head. "Nope, no sire. I'm the OG vampire, babe. The first of the species. My younger daughter, Alice, is the first of the natural born vamps."

"So, wait... You could still get pregnant after you were turned? What?" Rachel frowned, beyond confused. "And how the fuck...?"

"I'm not dead," her little sister explained with another laugh. "Everything's slowed way the hell down, but hasn't stopped. I can't have kids with a human, or probably most Fae, but a certain trickster God..."

"...God?"

She grinned and nodded, though her haunting violet eyes looked sad. "Loki. He's Alice's dad."

"Huh. So the Gods are real." Rachel snorted. "Go figure. And my sister banged one."

"I loved him," the other woman whispered, staring at the ground. She opened her mouth as if to speak further, then seemed to reconsider and closed it again, clearing her throat.

To spare her from some clearly painful memories, whatever they were, Rachel asked, "What's a Fae?"

"Fairy," was the simple enough answer. "Fairies are real, too. Maddie - my oldest - is Fae."

Is she Loki's, too? She didn't dare ask - Loki was clearly a touchy subject - but she was dying to know.

As if she could read her mind, Rebecca, still avoiding her gaze, explained, "I was still mortal when I had her. Her father was Fae."

As the light breeze shifted the leaves above them, making the light dance across Rebecca's ghostly white skin, Rachel finally noticed the scars. At first, they'd looked like tribal tattoos, done puzzlingly in a silvery-white. When she realized they were actually a complex web of ancient scars, she also noticed they covered every inch of her sister's flesh that she could see around her shorts and tank top. Her face was the only place free of the oddly beautiful swirling lines, though she did spot a faint scar on her forehead, running from hairline to cheekbone and through the outer edge of her eyebrow.

"Is Madeline's father why you hunt rapists?" Is he the one who tore you apart?

"He didn't rape me... Technically. But yes, he's the one who scarred me." At her startled look, Rebecca smirked; it utterly failed to reach her eyes, but it was a start. "I can read your mind. I'm trying not to - I find it unspeakably rude and invasive - but when you're actively thinking about me, it tends to cut through my shields. The scars are from a spell he worked on me; blood magic. It's what made Maddie's conception possible, and chained me to him for years."

"Kieran's father was my greatest enemy; Crown Prince of the people who'd been attacking and slaughtering mine. King by the time I escaped." She didn't know what made her suddenly share this, but it felt like the thing to do. Her sister had told her something deeply personal and troubling; it seemed only right to meet candor with candor. Besides, Rachel and Rebecca had been two peas in a pod as children, as close as two sisters could possibly be. There was no amount of time that could strain their relationship. "I was captured in battle and kept as a slave for around a year and a half."

"How did the other three come about?" She smirked again, shoving her wild red hair back off her face impatiently. "Even when we were kids, I'd have bet just about anything that you're gayer than a rainbow, so how do you have so many kids?"

Rachel laughed, rolling her eyes. "Political marriage gave me Senna - born in a dungeon, thanks to me being pregnant during the battle and not knowing it yet. She was smuggled home to her father after she was born. I made a friend in that Hellhole, Emil, and he'd been raising Caspian; he's not his biological father, but that never mattered, just like it didn't matter to me that I didn't give birth to him. That boy's just as much my son as Kieran. We were supposed to go back to my home when we escaped, but something went screwy and we ended up on Achlys, instead, where I met my girlfriend and we all decided to just settle and raise the boys."

"So you cheated on your husband?" Rebecca's grin was teasing - and, thank god, reached her eyes at last! - but Rachel still threw an acorn at her when she said, "You whore!"

"I never saw him again! And he wouldn't have given a shit," she explained with a laugh. "I was, like, his third or fourth wife. And like I said, it was purely political; I was Queen, he was my advisor, he wanted power and I wanted an heir. Enter Senna, who boosted Raziel from random noble to father of the next Queen, and assured that there would be someone to take the reins if I died."

"So..." Her sister began ticking points off on her fingers as she spoke. "Shrewd political moves gave you Senna, you're co-parenting Caspian with a friend, we won't speak of Kieran's origins... How and why was Cassie a thing?"

Rachel shook her head, gaping at her. "A thing? That's nice, Beck. Real nice."

"Gods, you've missed so many cultural shifts, dude." Rebecca shook her head right back, trying not to laugh at her. "Just answer the question, old lady."

"Emil and I, and my girlfriend Trinity, all talked and decided to hell with conventionality; we all love each other, so we'll all be together. Em's my exception, I guess; the only man I've ever been attracted to even after seeing him naked. Our boys were grown, Senna was long gone, we'd made a whole new life for ourselves, so we decided to have another baby. Enter Cassie." Rachel sighed, staring off into space. "And now she's grown, Kieran's back in that awful place trying to turn it around, married to a great girl, Caspian's there with them to help..."

Though she had a feeling she knew the answer, the vampire asked softly, "And your lovers?"

"...Dead. Cassie - Cassie Wade, I mean - died in prison, Trin and Em were killed in the second war." A bitter smirk tugged at the corners of her lips. "Kieran and Cas are running a third."

"There's always another fucking war," Rebecca grumbled. "I've watched so many of them come and go, fought in two, myself... It never really ends."

#crossroads #claddagh #achlys #rachel o'brien #rebecca o'brien #achlys and claddagh meet

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thisisthehardestthing · 3 years

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wait r u fr? tumblr ate the ask? pls i’m so fuckin mad i literally typed paragraphs about how much i loved it so here we go i’m gonna try to be more coherent this time:

this mafia fic is my favorite haikyuu fic i’ve ever read and one of my fave fics in general. like the amount of hard work and research u put into it is so clear and it shows in the amazing quality of the fic. ur pacing, the flow of ur words, ur characterizations of tanaka and val, the way u pull off that last scene. everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those. like wow i really am in awe of ur talent and i’m so thankful for ur hard work and the fact that u posted this like u rlly took me thru an emotional ride and gave me such a good piece of writing to enjoy and i love that.

okay so: details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic. stuff like the name of the designers and the names of organizations and stuff in the fic helps me picture the scenes so much and it just really adds to the extravagant feel of the fic.

with symbolism, i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic. like i deadass gasped when the viper necklace was crushed in the final scene at the end right before tanaka did it. the parallels!!!! god ur so good at writing and obviously ur brain is huge to have thought of that and seamlessly included it into the fic.

okay so idk what the proper term for this is but like, the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters. like ofc tanaka would pull the necklace out of his pocket at just that moment as a way to reveal to daichi what he felt. it’s just so perfect and so true to the person he is in the fic. about his characterization, god i love it so much. all of the pain and yearning and sheer want in his person were clearly conveyed thru his perspectives and his actions. like that boy just wants to be loved and that’s why it made such good narrative sense to have daichi ask him who he loves more in the scene right before the ending. like i saw the tag for death and expected a million things but u somehow managed to surprise me and yet still stay true to the world and characters u created and ugh, it’s all so perfect.

speaking of, the pacing of this fic is so good. like u manage to take us thru a whirlwind time period that doesn’t feel fast or drawn out or anything other than perfect. u have such a good awareness of pacing that it makes me so jealous and yet so pleased as a reader. like nothing about their love confessions or trysts felt rushed or forced. it felt so natural and true to the people they were and the world that they live in.

also i said before in the other ask how i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment and they manage to be hot but they also reveal so much about the characters involved. like i’m specifically thinking of the scene in tanaka’s home where she asks why he won’t touch her and he says that she didn’t give him permission. like the love and devotion in that way of thinking felt so true and yet in the end he still did it and ugh that breaks my heart in the best way bc i know my pain as a reader is nothing next to his pain as a character. i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly bc u created a world and a cast of characters that are so interesting like i would literally read books about them. (esp val. i loved how headstrong and proud she was but also how weak and emotional she could be. her ending made me sad but u kno, it made sense) and i’m especially curious to find out how tanaka copes after. like i can’t imagine that daichi would just accept his loyalty again but u do manage to surprise me in the best way so who knows. but i also mourn for him which is a little odd for me bc after finding out that he knew about daichi’s affair i felt betrayed and it hurt for some reason which is so interesting bc i trusted him and felt like i knew him, but u still managed to keep parts of him hidden, which is so cool.

oh and despite the tragic ending, u fed us so good with scenes of the two everywhere. like i love how we got to see tanaka and val in their own homes and at parties and we truly got to see how they act when they’re alone and when they’re comfortable and when they’re playing the part of loyal bodyguard or loyal wife. ugh it’s all so good and tbh i only finished it like maybe half an hour again but i already want to read it again bc it was so fucking good and the way u write emotions like yearning and heartbreak is so good like ugh. everything about the way u wrote this fic was so amazing and fuck tumblr for eating my ask but i hope i at least manage to repeat the majority of what was in the og ask lol.

hello anon <3

It is the weekend so I finally have enough brain power to reply.

I wanted to be selfish and keep this in my inbox forever, because this might be the kindest, most appreciative thing everyone has ever said to me about my writing. Toska is a piece of my heart and my soul in written word, and to have received something like this? It’s... indescribable. You have picked up on so many of the small details, symbols, and more that I littered throughout the fic, and you’ve called out the things that I was excited about people reading and reacting to.

Fic Spoilers below the cut.

everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those.

Thank you so much. I constantly worried that it was too long, too boring, that there wasn’t enough smut in there to be sexy, or that the plot ultimately didn’t make sense. This means everything to me. Pacing is one of the most important things in a fic to me, because I am the kind of person that easily loses interest when I read.

details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic.

ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I’m glad this helped you to picture everything! I actually used real life dresses, shoes, locations (google Villa La Vigie, it is STUNNING). I was a fashion student, and I now work in the fashion industry so small details to convery luxury is extremely important to me. I love that it made all the difference to you.

i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic.

fuck, wow. this. This is what I was truly hoping for. I love figuring out foreshadowing in movies, in books, in tv series. I try to write things that foreshadowing what going to happen in the end throughout of every one of my fics, but this is the first time someone called it out, and I am truly grateful for it. The viper necklace thing is a moment I was very proud of. and when Tanaka tells Val to stop talking about Daichi when they’re alone on the bed together: that’s the first instance where we see his guilt that he knows. Also, when Tanaka says “why dont i finish what I started,” is another thing I linked to the ending.

the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters.

kasjsdfhksjdfsd I always thought people could see right through me and how I was going to end it!!!!!!! This means so much thank you! I kept thinking, “fuck people know he’s going to kill her, this is so predictable, all these extra scenes are so boring, is it even worth it?” so AH thank you!

thank you again for the pacing comment <3

i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment

hehehehehehe this makes me very happy. tbh, I wasn’t expecting there to be SO MUCH PLOT when I wrote this fic. I had mapped everything out and planned for it to be about... 5k? words? It ended up being 21k all together lmao. I actually thought there wasn’t enough smuttiness in the entire thing, so thanks for letting me now that it was just the right amount. I was worried because the only time I actually describe them fucking with Tanaka’s dick inside her, is that measley one paragraph at the Monte Carlo Casino. When I realised that, I was in utter shock. I was texting @mindninjax in the discord server like “FUCK. I can’t believe I haven’t actually written sex sex.” Then I went into thinking how disappointed people were going to be and phew, it was a whirlwind of a night.

i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly

ask away, send in questions. I built this world beyond what I’ve written. I have character layouts and plans for every person I introduced, and have ideas for fics on all of them.

To answer your question, I knew exactly how I wanted it to end before I began writing. That end scene is what I thought of first. Exactly like that, with it being cut off mid-sentence to represent her being shot. That sort of “boom” or feeling of shock where you just stare at the screen is the exact reaction I wanted to get when I finished writing, so I hope that is what happened.

So just, thank you so much anon. For everything, for taking the time to write out this ask a second time after Tumblr ate the first one. It has kept me going since the day you sent it. I really appreciate you, and please, chat to me anytime x

Thank you.

Spasiba x

#spasiba #claudia rambles #toska asks #fic spoilers #spoiler #i love you so much #thank you

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lilulo-12fanfiction · 4 years

Text

Rain Song- Chapter 1

So here is Chapter 1! This is super long. Almost 10K words. I’m not even sorry. lol I did want to get through this as it is mostly background information on who Hope is.

I’m taking liberties here. So if something isn’t factually correct...it is what it is. Since this is an OC story cannon will variate.

I hope you enjoy this chapter! If you would like to be tagged, please let me know! I also write for TVD, Supernatural & The Avengers. You can view each masterlist list at the top of my page.

Also- does anyone do character art/ digital portraits? I’d love for someone to put one together of Hope for me.

Series Masterlist

12 Years Later

Hope slowly stretched her arms out in front of her. She felt the release of the tension she hadn’t realized she had been holding onto. She pulled the earphones off of her head and cracked her neck. She felt a slight smile come to her face. Her Uncle Remus couldn’t understand her obsession with Muggle music. Yet whenever she spoke of the genius that was Freddy Mercury or her obsession with The Beatles he got a far away look in his eyes. There were things from his past that he outright refused to discuss. She stopped pushing for answers a long time ago. She couldn’t bear to cause him any pain. All she knew was that on Halloween when she was just shy of 2 years old her mother sacrificed her life to save Hope’s as her Uncle carried her to safety. Her father, was in Azkaban for life after he sided with Voldemort. Her Uncle was one of the rare few who would speak Voldemort's name. Her Uncle wouldn’t let her fear his name. She had seen to many shudder at the mere thought of the Dark Wizard. Remus wanted her to be strong. With Remus' strength and bravery, also came a sense of fear. She knew he was afraid his former supporters would someday come after her, so they stayed hidden away on their beach cottage. He tutored her in her magical studies when she became old enough. She loved her Uncle beyond measure and he was a brilliant teacher; but Hope craved more. She longed to have peers that understood her. Sure, she had made friends with the Muggle Children that came to the beach for holidays and the few that lived near year 'round, but it wasn’t the same. The only contact she had with other magical children were The Weasley family. She saw them on the rare occasion that Andromeda couldn’t stay with her when her Uncle’s condition kept him from her. Her cousin Nymphadora was much older than she, and while she adored her, she still couldn't relate. All Hope wanted was a couple of really good friends.

Hope had been sitting on the beach sketching for hours. What she was drawing, she wasn’t quite sure yet. That was how she controlled the visions that plagued her, she put them down on paper. Drawing and painting calmed her mind. The music pounding into her ears quieted the other noises. Lately, her visions had quite literally taken a dark turn. She had a persistent dull headache that would sometimes push her into a migraine for the day. Everything was black. That’s all she could draw was black. Black shapes, black lines and sometimes she filled the page with shadings of black. She could see the concern in her Uncle's eyes when he would peek at her drawings, but he said nothing. She hadn’t quite figured out how to piece her visions together yet, everything was still very jumbled. Often times they would make sense after the event occured, she was hoping to use those experiences to learn how to read them. She was still young. Remus was impressed with how far she had come on her own. He had tried to find someone to help her, but hadn't had any luck. From what he had told Hope, the Divinations teacher at Hogwarts would not be able to assist her. The one thing she had learned to control was pulling images from others. She figured out how to touch others without being overwhelmed with their thoughts. On a rare occasion where she wasn’t prepared did it happen. It always overwhelmed her and she hated invading anyone else’s privacy. Remus had shown her memories of her mother that way, when he couldn’t find the correct words. His memories were muted though. There was something he was trying to shield her from.

Hope leaned back and closed her eyes, letting the sun radiate light into the darkness that was swirling inside. Today was her favorite kind of day. The sun was hot and the water was clear. The breeze was blowing to keep her cool. Her wild blonde curls were piled on top of her head, the wind causing wisps to come free and blow around her face. She wanted every day to be like this, warmness and Led Zepplin pulsing through her veins. Yet the persistent pinch in her forehead was making it impossible to completely enjoy the day. Hope looked down at her watch and cursed. She had been gone an hour longer than she had anticipated. She quickly threw her sketch book, pencils and her disc man into her bag. She brushed the sand off her denim cut offs as she stood and threw her t-shirt back on over her bathing suit. Quickly she donned her flip flops and made the half mile walk back to the beach cottage she resided in with her beloved Uncle.

As she approached the house, something felt different. There was a tense energy in the air that caused a chill to go down her spine. She just wanted a day where she didn’t feel anxiety or cold. She wanted one day where the needling in her brain gave her peace. It had been far too long since she had a day like that. Something in her world was changing, she could feel it. She feared it was something that would color her whole world black, not just the pictures she had stashed in her bag. She saw a figure standing in the kitchen with her Uncle. By the way he was standing, she could see tension spilling from his every muscle. She quietly snuck in to try and overhear what they were saying.

“Remus it’s time. You can no longer keep her sequestered away. While I'm sure you are teaching her everything she needs to know, she needs to be around children her own age. She has lived almost as much of a muggle existence as young Harry. She will be safer at Hogwarts. Every manner of protection will be used for the school.” The voice was kind, grandfatherly almost. Hope’s ears perked up at the mention of Hogwarts. How she had longed to attend. To learn magic, make real friends, create an extended family beyond her and Remus. Hope was so lonely. Her thoughts of loneliness always made her feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. Her uncle had given up his entire young life for her, he should be enough for her. It made her feel incredibly selfish.

“Albus- there are still things she does not know. Things I can’t even begin to tell her-“ Dumbledore held his hand up to stop Remus from continuing.

“Hello Hope.” The gentle voice called out her name and she froze. She had barely stepped two feet into the house and she had been discovered, so much for sneaking in and eavesdropping. She set her bag down and slowly stepped into the kitchen. Her Uncle seemed more agitated than she had ever seen him. Uncle Remus almost never got angry or irritated, he always had an abundance of patience for her.

Her attention was quickly drawn to the tall man who had called her name. He had long silver hair and silver beard. His crooked nose reminded her of Billy Berkshire’s after she had punched him in the face for teasing another girl she had befriended one summer. Resting on his nose were half moon spectacles that allowed a clear view of his kind blue eyes. He donned the most magnificent purple robes she had ever seen. He was oddly wonderful. She just hoped none of the neighborhood kids saw him, she’d have some explaining to do. She knew the man before her was Albus Dumbledore, she never expected he would ever be standing in her kitchen.

“Hello.” Hope’s voice was filled with trepidation. Why would she need to be protected? She knew her Uncle was keeping secrets, but to hear him admit it to someone else was jarring.

“Come darling, sit.” She nodded and made her way to the table. Dumbledore also took a seat.

“I’m sorry for being late. I lost track of time.” Dumbledore was staring at her with an odd expression.

“It’s quite alright. Hope, this is-“

“Albus Dumbledore.” She finished the sentence before he could. She felt ill at ease as the blue eyes studied her. She wasn’t used to being studied quite so intently.

“Well I see my reputation has proceeded me. I hope your Uncle shared only the good things.” He gave her a kind smile that calmed her nerves. “I apologize for staring. It just, you are so very much like your mother. I wasn’t expecting it.” It was something Hope heard often. She would catch her Uncle staring at her, a sad look on his face, but only when he thought she wasn’t paying attention. Andromeda had said many times how much Hope resembled her mother. As far as Hope could tell, the only thing she got from her father were her eyes.

“Why am I in danger?” Hope wasn’t interested in beating around the bush. She watched as her Uncle rolled his jaw.

“Your father has escaped from Azkaban.” Remus finally spoke. Hope felt like she had been slapped. Her father- the man she had wondered about for her whole life. The man her uncle could barely spoke of. She had only seen a few pictures, but his handsome and wild features were forever etched into her brain. All Hope knew was that Sirius Black had been best friends with her Uncle, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. He fell in love with her mother while she was in her 4th year and Sirius was in his 6th at Hogwarts. They married shortly after Nora’s graduation. Remus had always stressed how much her father had loved her and loved her mother. It had been discovered that he was a Death Eater and after Voldemort’s fall he was sentenced to Azkaban. Remus would provide no other details, regardless of how hard she pressed. The idea of meeting her father was exhilarating. Only he could provide the answers she most craved. Yet she was terrified of him. What if he came to their home and hurt Remus to get to her. She had read all about the Dementors of Azkaban. She knew what they did to their inhabitants. Her father had spent 12 years there.

“That’s why you’ve been so tense this past week. Why I haven’t seen a single page of The Daily Prophet. Remus nodded.

“I didn’t know how to tell you.” He admitted. He reached behind him and pulled a news paper out of one of the cupboards and handed it to her. The man on the front page was not the man she had seen pictures of. He was gaunt and had a waxy appearance to his skin. His once beautifully groomed hair was long and matted. She felt her eyes well up. She should be horrified, but yet she felt her heart break. How could she feel that for a man that caused so much terror?

“We are afraid he will come looking for you. We don’t know what kind of state he is in. But 12 years in Azkaban would have made an impact on his mental state.” Dumbledore was trying to be as sensitive as possible. “We think it’s time for you to join your classmates at Hogwarts. You would be under intense protection and would have the best magical education. Not to say that you haven’t done a splendid job, Remus.”

“We?” Hope looked to her Uncle. It didn’t matter how badly she wanted to go, she would never leave without his blessing. Remus ran his hand down his face. He took Hope’s hand in his as he had done many times, knowing it would ground her.

“Yes. We. Professor Dumbledore is right, as always. Hogwarts can offer you protection that I cannot. And it’s time for you to be around witches and wizards of your own age. I should have sent you two years ago. It was my own fear that stopped me.” Hope felt a jolt of excitement. That gave Remus peace of mind. Yet as quickly as he saw her stormy eyes light up, it died just as quickly.

“But yo- you’ll be alone. And if he comes here, will you be safe? What, what would happen to me if something happened to you?” Remus could see the panic setting in.

“As it so happens-“ Dumbledore interjected “It seems I am in need of a Defense Against The Arts teacher yet again. I was hoping Remus that you would consent to returning to Hogwarts with Hope.” Dumbledore watched Hope’s body relax as she looked expectantly at her Uncle.

“Albus, are you sure? My condition-“

“Is managed by your Wolfsbane potion. You’ve managed to raise an exceptional young lady. I assume you can handle teaching a few classes.” There was no way Remus could say no, not with how his niece was staring at him expectantly.

“If you’re sure Albus, I would be delighted.”

“Now, Hope, Hogwarts doesn’t normally have a student start midway through their education. Your peers have much more knowledge on the school than you will. I think it will be best to have you come a few weeks prior to the other students. I would like to get you sorted into your house and settled before they return.”

“But that’s around the time of the full moon, Uncle Remus won’t be able to bring me.”

“Hope- you will have to go without me and I will meet you there in September 1st.”

“Professor McGonagall will be there to get you acquainted with the school.” Hope sat for a moment with her thoughts. She didn’t like the idea of being away from her Uncle for that long, but this had been what she always wanted.

“Okay.” She agreed.

“Splendid. Remus, I trust you can get Hope to Diagon Alley for her books and supplies. I will send an owl with her list.” Hope had so many questions for Dumbledore but didn’t know where to even start. He was already standing and she couldn’t get her thoughts together. “I will see you both very soon.” Then, with a crack, Albus Dumbledore was gone.

“Go get washed up darling. I’ll start dinner.” Her uncle stood to go and prepare them something to eat. She knew the question portion of the evening had ended. She would get no further information from him that night.

**************************************************************************************

A week and a half later Hope was pacing her room. She had 3 days before she was to arrive at Hogwarts. She had gotten no further information from her Uncle. They had just gotten home from having dinner with what Hope thought was her only other family. Except Nymphadora had come home for dinner to see Hope. It had been a long time since she had seen her. Her Auror training kept her quite busy.

“Hopefully that little prat Malfoy doesn’t give you a hard time. I hate admitting that he’s our cousin.” After she said it, Hope knew she realized she let something slip.

“I’m sure everything will be fine!” Ted had exclaimed.

“Hope you will love Hogwarts. It is beautiful.” Hope glanced at her Uncle out of the corner of her eye and he was carefully avoiding her gaze. She picked at her food as the four of them talked fondly of Hogwarts. Hope stewed in her own anger instead.

Hope felt rage building within her. She wasn’t a baby anymore. She’d be 14 soon. Granted she wasn’t an adult, she could handle a lot more than Remus had given her credit for. He had led her to believe that himself and The Tonks were her only remaining family. That was clearly a lie. He had been careful to not provide any information on the rest of her Father’s family.

Remus knew what was coming. The other trait Hope inherited from Sirius was her temper. While she held it together much better than Sirius ever did, when she hit her breaking point, she was explosive. She was like a hurricane and he was approaching the eye of the storm. Remus had never been on the receiving end of her anger. He knew tonight would be the night. He knew he would have to give her answers. He could not believe he didn’t consider Draco Malfoy knowing of his relation to Hope.

But what could he tell her to ease her mind? What could he tell her to make her feel better. Any information he had to give her on her father and he wretched family would only hurt her. He knew that hurt all to well. All he wanted to do was shield her from the pain that he knew Sirius had carried with him. He was being idealistic. Wasn’t it better that it came from him and not someone else?

He winced as her bedroom door slammed. He took a deep breath and approached her room. A teenage Hope was something he was ill prepared for. The older she got, the more she became her mother which included Nora’s deep sarcasm and sass, that coupled with anger would mean a most unpleasant experience.

“Hope- please open the door.” Remus sighed leaning against the wall. “You do realize I can just use my wand to open in.” He could picture her face as she considered his words and he braved himself. As anticipated her door whipped open. “We need to talk.” She gave him a withering look.

“Now you want to talk? You’ve had 12 years to talk.”

“Hope-“

“No! Don't 'Hope' Me! I have family! I have a cousin my own age! AND YOU KEPT ME FROM THEM! FOR 12 years all you have done is LIE to me!” Remus had expected anger, but the bitterness that was pouring from her took him by surprise. He heard it so often from Sirius. He felt right then that he had failed Hope. He wanted to save her from this. “I have no friends that actually know me. They think I’m a little weird and that I’m sick because I have these headaches all of the time. They don’t understand me because they’re muggles! I’m alone.” Her last two words were spoken as a sob. Remus realizes the magnitude of his mistake. He felt like an outcast for most of his life. His condition made it hard to really connect with anyone. Everyone thought he was just ill. It wasn’t until James, Sirius and Peter that he felt truly accepted. He at least had his sister before that. Hope had no siblings. Remus pulled his niece into an embrace and she struggled against him for a moment. She finally gave in and let him hold her as she cried. Once she settled down he led her to their living room to sit on the couch.

“Hope, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to isolate you. I didn’t even realize how alone you felt. All I have wanted, all I have ever wanted is to keep you safe. But, I kept you away from your living relatives because it was what your mother wanted.” Hope looked up at her Uncle in utter confusion. Her tear filled face almost broke him. Her silence urged him to continue. “Your father comes from a long line of Pureblood Wizards. The entire Black family are blood purists. Your father and Andromeda were the only ones to push against that. In fact, your father being sorted into Gryffindor was a huge scandal. He ended up being disowned and moved in with James. His parents welcomed him like he was their own. That is why your middle name is Euphemia. It was James’ mother’s name. Sirius’ mother loathed YOUR mother for being a half-blood. When Nora died, the Black family tried to take you from me. Your mother wanted you no where near their hateful rhetoric. They also had no leg to stand on in getting custody of you. So I kept you away from the magical community as much as I could so they couldn’t try to get their hands on you. I just didn’t realize how damaging it was to you. The majority of that family were Death Eaters. They were responsible for your mother’s death. As for Draco Malfoy being your cousin, his mother Narcissa is Andromeda’s sister. Her husband, Lucius Malfoy was among the top of the Death Eater food chain. He also escaped Azkaban by claiming he was under the imperius curse. He continues to believe in blood purity and has unfortunately ingrained that ideal into his son. Hope, I promise you that if anyone other than Andromeda had been a good person I wouldn’t have kept you away.”

“If my father was so against everything that his family stood for, how is it that he ended up being a Death Eater? Did HE kill my mother? What did Voldemort want with her?” Remus could see you spiraling. He took a deep breath and continued.

“Darling I honestly don’t know why your father sis what he did. I do know he loved you and my sister very much. I’m not sure what caused him to switch sides. I can tell you that I am sure he is not the one that hurt your mother. That is unimaginable to me. He started pulling away from me before that. Your mother trusted him implicitly. I wish I had more information for you Hope. As for why Voldemort wanted your mother, it was her Seer abilities. He could have done so much more damage if he had someone like her on his side. That was another reason to keep you away from Sirius’ family. If they were to get their hooks into as a child, they could have corrupted you and manipulated you into doing their bidding.” Hope was silent for a few moments.

“Hope, I’m sorry for the pain I have caused you. I know what it is like to feel like an outcast. To feel so alone and that no one will ever understand you. I should have know. I am so sorry.” He felt Hope lean back into him and he wrapped his arms around her. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you that your father was the reason that James and Lily Potter were dead. That would have been a horrific blow. His mind drifted to the small vault at Gringott’s that held Hope’s name. Inside was the money that Sirius and Nora had amassed from the inheritance Sirius got from his Uncle. Remus made sure to use it carefully to take care of his niece, never using any of it on himself. What really stuck in his mind were the few journals and vials that Nora had left for her daughter. Keeping those from her was something he had struggled with for years. But she were still too young. He was not going to burden her any further. Perhaps in a year or so when Hope came into her own he would bring them to herS There was too much darkness for her young mind. He needed to preserve Hope’s innocence for as long as he could.

“Does Harry Potter know who I am?” Nora knew of Harry. How he had somehow stopped Voldemort. How the two had played together as children. When his parents died he was brought to live with his Muggle family. Hope had overheard Remus and Andromeda mention the Sorcerers Stone and The Chamber of Secrets. It seemed that Harry had a knack for getting into trouble. Hope had tried to catch more details, but the adults in her life were always careful to not share too much information.

“I don’t think that he does. His muggle family doesn’t look kindly on the magical community. From what Dumbledore told me, he didn't even know he was a Wizard until Hagrid had to personally deliver his Hogwarts letter. Apparently his Aunt and Uncle were determined to keep him away from magic and wouldn't give him his letter. He hasn’t been around many people that know of the history that links the two of you. The Weasley children wouldn’t know to mention you. I doubt Molly or Arthur would tell them any personal details without speaking with me first. Dumbledore and the other professors wouldn’t say anything. But you will meet him soon enough.” Hope was itching to meet Harry Potter. Not because he was famous, but because he was a connection the past you so desperately wanted to know. Remus studied your face for a moment, watching you process what he was saying. "You and Harry have quite a bit in common. I have a feeling that you will be good friends. James and Lily would have wanted that, as would your mother."

“Will I ever understand what happened?" How did a loving father and husband turn into a mass murderer? Hope couldn't reconcile the two people that encompassed who her father was.

"Perhaps someday, when you're older you'll be able to reach a level of peace." That didn't really answer her question. Hope still felt like he was holding back, but this was more than they had ever discussed before.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you." Hope looked down, deeply ashamed. She had gotten better at controlling her temper, but occasionally she lost control. She had never behaved this way towards her uncle..

"Oh darling, it's alright. I'm sure this wont be the only go you have at me. You are after all your mother's daughter. She was never afraid to give me a piece of her mind." Hope was grateful for his never ending patience with her.

"I think I'm going to go to bed. I love you, Uncle Remus, very much." She felt his facial hair tickle the side of her head as he gave her a quick kiss.

"I love you too, get some rest." Hope retreated to her bedroom. The polarized descriptions of her father running through her head. What if she was also polarized. The way her Uncle had raised her was the exact opposite of what the Black family believed. But if the entire half of her family were comprised of Dark Wizards, did she have that capability too? In the end, her father had turned that way. Maybe that was why all she could see was black. She too, would turn bad in the end as well.

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Hope sat staring into the fire. All of her things had been sent to Hogwarts and were waiting for her arrival. She had spent the morning on her beloved beach. She knew she would miss the briny smell of the air, the way the water would bite at her toes. She wanted to give the Ocean a proper goodbye. It had been her best friend for as long as she could remember. Now the only thing left to do was take the Floo into Professor McGonagall’s office. All of the excitement she had felt had turned into nerves. She had never been apart from her Uncle for more than a few days. Two weeks seemed like an eternity to be with strangers. She knew she was being silly, but she felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she waited for her Uncle to see her off. She looked down at the wand in her hand. 10 1/2 inches of birch wood with a Phoenix core. She had always loved the black and white of birch trees. How the black bark bled into the white leaving shades of gray. The Phoenix feather core gave her a little bit of trouble at first. Remus had reassured her that her wand just needed to get to know her. Phoenix cores were known to be powerful, yet took a while to gain control. In the end, he had been right. She slid her wand into the small bag at her feet and looked back at the fire.

Her visions and dreams had taken a strange form. She felt surges of anger, desperation and an intense sadness. A melancholy so deep she thought she would drown in it. It was affecting her moods more than it every had before. Shades of black and muted grey. But always black. She was starting to loath the color. It was so strange, all she was seeing was the color black, nothing concrete for the past month and a half up until a few nights prior. There had been a flash of purple and a set of green eyes staring back at her. Who they belonged to, she had no idea. Though she assumed she would soon enough. At this point, she only had visions of people she was connected to or came into contact with. Her mother had progressed far beyond that point by the time of her death. Hope didn't know if she would welcome that.

“Ready Darling?” Remus clapped his hands together, smiling at Hope. He too had felt a sinking feeling of being away from Hope for an extended period of time. When he saw the emotion swirling in her eyes he made sure to stuff his back down. “It’s alright. It’s only two weeks.”

“I know.” Hope’s voice felt like sandpaper as it exited her throat. “I’m just nervous.”

“I know. But it will go by quickly. Professor McGonagall will get you acquainted with the school and you’ll meet with your teachers briefly to get to know them. Remember what we talked about.”

“I know. I know. I’m Hope Lupin. I don’t think introducing myself as a member of the Black family will curry me any friends anyway.” Hope scoffed. Remus tried to hide a smile. “No one but Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall know about my abilities so it’s best to keep it quiet for now.”

It had been confirmed that Draco Malfoy knew nothing of their relation. The Minister of Magic himself had instructed Lucius to not breath a word of it and to make sure his wife kept it to herself as well. Hope had no idea why the Minister was so keen on keeping her lineage a secret. It didn’t matter to Hope. She didn’t want to draw any more attention to herself than coming to Hogwarts in the middle of her education would draw. Incidentally, the Weasley children were in the dark about who her father was as well. All they knew was that Hope was the niece of a friend of their Arthur and Molly’s and that she had lost her parents in the war. Remus had never took Hope to The Burrow himself. He had always met up with Arthur. It had been years since they had seen Hope. She always felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of boys in the house. Hope was more inclined to stay with Andromeda and Ted as she got older.

“Just until you’ve found some people that you trust to tell them. Now, Arthur promised me that he spoke to the Fred, George and Ron. They’ll be looking for you when they arrive.”

“What if I’m not in their house?”

“Hope you are brilliant, funny and talented. Regardless of what house you land in, you will make friends. You will find your niche. The same way I did.”

“What if-“ Hope could feel all of her fears that had been festering about to tumble out. “What if I’m a Slytherin? What if I end up just as awful as everyone I’m related to? I mean, my father was wonderful when you were in school and then he turned. What if that is my destiny? What if that is why all I can see is black?” Hope had stood and was pacing. She always paced when she was coming undone. Remus had noticed it had been happening more frequently. He was counting on being at Hogwarts to be a distraction to keep her grounded. Remus stopped her and grabbed her by her shoulders.

“Hope, darling, stop. First of all, all members of Slytherin house are NOT dark wizards. Each house has produced its fair share. If you happen to end up in Slytherin then you will make them proud. You are not destined to go bad. You are not destined to be evil. That’s not how the world works.” He felt her relax. “This is why I’ve always avoided talking to you about them. You are better than that. When you forget that, think of Andeomeda.” Hope nodded her head.

“Okay.” Hope wrapped her arms around her Uncle’s torso and he hugged her tightly.

“Albus and Minerva are there for you while I am not there. But if you need me, all you need to do is send me an owl and I’ll write back immediately.” Hope let go and looked up at her Uncle and forced a smile.

“I’m ready.” He kisses her forehead.

“Remember, it’s only two weeks.” Hope nodded and approached the fireplace. She reached her hand into the bucket and pulled out the floo powder. After taking a deep breath she threw it into the flames.

“Hogwarts!”

**************************************************************************************

Hope stepped out of the large fireplace and brushed the soot off her her clothing. She really hated traveling by Floo. She looked around the small office. To her left was a large window where she could see the Quidditch pitch and what must have been the training grounds. She had expected a more grandiose office for a Hogwarts Deputy Mistress, but the smallness of it made Hope feel safe. Standing next to the desk was a very tall and stern looking woman. Her black hair was pulled back into a tight bun and she wore the most beautiful shade of emerald green robes. Her sternness melted away when she smiled at Hope.

“Welcome Ms. Lupin. I am Professor McGonagall." Hope smiled back.

"Hello Professor."

"I hope you don't mind me saying, but I have so looked forward to meeting you. I enjoyed teaching your mother and Uncle very much." Hope had been expecting the "you look so much like your mother" speech. She was grateful Minerva McGonagall kept those thoughts to herself, though Hope could see it in her eyes.

“Well I do hope you'll share some stories about my mother with me. Uncle Remus has obviously told me so much, everyday. But it would be nice to hear about her from another person's perspective."

“I would be delighted. I look forward to getting to know you over these next few weeks. First thing we must do is get you sorted." As soon as the words hit the air, there was a knock at the door. "Enter!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed. Hope grinned as Professor Dumbledore entered with a dilapidated looking hat. He was so eccentric and wonderfully odd. He radiated calmness which put Hope at ease.

“It's very good to see you again Hope. We are very happy to have you here."

"I wont lie professor, I was a little nervous leaving my Uncle but I do feel better now that I am here."

"I'm very pleased to hear that. I'm sure you'll find all of the staff at Hogwarts will be very willing to help you get settled. Now, we must get you sorted so we can get you set up in a dorm room." Professor McGonagall conjured a chair and motioned for Hope to take a seat. Her Uncle hadn't told her how they would choose her house. She watched wide eyed as Dumbledore approached and put the filthy looking hat on her curly blonde head. After a moment the hat came to life and it made Hope jump. She watched as McGonagall tried to contain a smirk.

“Well, well....what an interesting mind you have brought for me today.I was wondering when the youngest Black member would be joining us. This one will prove to be very difficult, very difficult indeed. I see that you have a long history of Slytherin blood in your veins, but cunning you are not. An ocean worth of talents much like your parents. Hard working and Loyal would make you an excellent Hufflepuff. But what is this? Bravery and courage, a little stubbornness. There it is...the nerve of your father. Let's make it- Gryffindor!" Hope felt her body relax, not realizing how tense she had been. She at least would have some people she knew in her house and hoped she would be able to call them friends.

“Wonderful Ms. Lupin. I will be your Head of House. You will share your room with Ms. Granger, Ms. Brown & Ms. Patil. I'm sure all 3 girls will be most welcoming. I will have your belongings brought to your room. For now, I will take you around to meet your professors."

At the end of the week, Hope was sitting in the common room of Gryffindor House. She ran her eyes across all of the plush arm chairs and couches that she loved to sink into already. Tables adorned the room near the furniture and there was a large bulletin board, while empty now, she was sure it would start filling up come September. She enjoyed the shades of red and gold around the room. It brightened her day and helped push the blackness back into her mind. She loved the extensive windows that looked out over the beautiful grounds of the school. She was drawn to the scarlet tapestries that depicted witches, wizards and various magical animals. They spoke to the artist within her. Though her favorite part was the extensive book collection on the shelves.

She had sent an owl to her Uncle letting him know she had been placed in the house that her and her mother had resided. Also told him off a bit for not warning her about The Sorting Hat. She hadn’t left out what the hat had said. “There it is, the nerve of your father.” had been swirling in Hope’s brain ever since.

Hope looked up as a hooting stirred her from her thoughts. Perched on the Griffyndor window sill was a Tiny Owl. Not often found in Britain, it had her curious. She was pure black and was hopping around the windowsill with a letter tied to her foot. Hope stood from the squishy arm chair she had planted herself in. As soon as she approached, the owl started nipping at her fingers affectionately. She recognized her Uncle's neat hand writing immediately. With a grin she gave the owl a quick pet and ripped open the letter.

Hope-

I'm sorry for not warning you about the Sorting Hat. But really...the surprise is the best part. Mostly for Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore. I didn't want to deprive them of that. I'm glad you're relieved that you're in Gryffindor. I do hope it is because you know the Weasley family and not because you're still worried about going bad. Your house does not determine whether you are good or bad. Yes, your father did have quite a lot of nerve. If I'm being honest, I see a lot of him in your personality. From his younger and more carefree days. The way your eyes smile when you’re happy. The sound of your laugh. You most certainly have his eyes. Hope, I know that many people compare you to your mother quite often and ignore the traits of Sirius. There was a good person there at one point. The good in him radiates from you. However, you are so much more than the parts of her and the parts of your father that can be seen within you. You are your own person. Please don't forget that. I've attached this letter to a beautiful Tiny Owl I found at Diagon Alley. She is yours. I wanted to get you something special for the start of school. Her black nature is rare, but I wanted you to see that black things can be beautiful. That darkness doesn't always have to be bad. Remember, even when you feel that you are in the deepest and most dark parts of your self, there is a light within you that will outshine it. I can't wait to hear what you name her. I'm starting to feel very worn down, but I look forward to seeing you soon. I heard you've impressed both Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick with both your charms and transfiguration abilities. I'm sure Professor Snape will be equally impressed with you, though he may not be willing to show it.

All of my love

-R

Remus always knew the right thing to say. He was right, she needed to push the idea that she would turn bad out of her mind. It was ridiculous. She knew that rationally she was being absurd. She should be excited. She wanted to attend Hogwarts for her entire life. The nerves she felt down were more from excitement than dread. She had already proven herself advanced in Transfiguration and Charms. She knew her Magical History. And while she was horrible in herbology, she hoped that learning with other students would help. She was also confident in potion making, though she was terrified of meeting Professor Snape. The side comments from the other professors lead her to the impression that he was not easily won over. Her Uncle had never mentioned him in a disparaging way, just that he would be a tough teacher. She looked at the clock on the wall and realized that it was almost time to meet with Professor Snape. She hurried to the portrait hole in the wall that swung open and climbed out of the common room, straightening her school uniform as she walked. The uniform would take some getting used to. She was used to jeans, t-shirts and comfortable dresses. Hope quickly made her way through the castle corridors and headed to the Potions Classroom in the Dungeon.

Once she reached the door, she paused for a moment and took a breath. She felt her nerves bubbling to the surface again. She made sure to steel herself and then pushed the door open. The room was rather large. She suspected it had to be to hold a full class of students and all of their potions equipment. The room was so quiet you could hear a pin hit the floor. While the rest of the castle radiated warmth and light, the Potions classroom seemed dark and cold. "How I've felt on the inside." was all Hope could think. There were pickled animals in jars along the wall that gave Hope pause. She had a feeling this would be her least favorite class if she had to look at those. There was a supply cupboard and in the corner of the classroom a basin where the water poured from the mouth of a gargoyle. The room as a whole was intimidating, just not as intimidating as the man stationed near the blackboard. Severus Snape had long black flowing robes adorned to his thin frame. His sallow skin reminded her of the photograph of her father in The Daily Prophet. His black hair was in sheets and framed his face. His dark eyes appeared to have never seen happiness a day in their lives. They both stood silently, sizing each other up. Hope could see recognition in his eyes, he must have known her mother. After what seemed like ages, he finally spoke.

“Good Evening Ms. Lupin. I am Professor Snape. Tonight we will see how adept you are at your potion making. I do hope you've kept up with your studies, I will not tolerate you falling behind." Hope simply nodded. "Tonight you will brew a Sleeping Draught. Standard for any 2nd year student."

"Yes Professor." Hope didn't even try to hold a conversation with Severus Snape. She knew it would be futile.

"Off you go." Hope saw a cauldron waiting. She quickly went to the the supply cupboard and pulled out the Lavender, Flobberworm Mucus, Valerian Sprigs and a large amount of their "standard ingredients". Once she got to her table, she flipped open the book and looked over the instructions. She added 4 springs of lavender and 2 measures of Standard Ingredient into the motar and crushed them into a creamy paste. She then added 2 blobs of Flobber Worm Mucus to her cauldron along with 2 more measures of Standard Ingredient into the cauldron and heated it for 30 seconds. She added the crushed mixture as directed and waved her wand. Time seemed to drag as she waited for the potion to brew. She could feel Snape's dark eyes on her but she didn't dare look up. She hoped this would be a more pleasant experience when the room was filled with classmates. Finally, the potion was ready for trhe next steps. She added the rest of the ingredients in, careful to follow the directions precisely on how to chop and stir. She made the final wave of her wand she saw the dark luscious potion bubbling back at her.

“I’m done Professor.” Snape slowly sauntered to her work station. He looked around and noticed that while she had been waiting for her potion to brew she had cleaned up her station.

“Perhaps you can give your fellow housemates some pointers on organization.” He murmured. He studied her potion, stirring it slightly. After a few agonizing moments. “This is...passable. I was concerned when I found out your Uncle had been educating you.” Hope narrowed her eyes at him. He looked at her smugly, challenging her to contradict him. I’m her mind she was telling him off. Her Uncle was blood brilliant and her potion was perfect. She swallows any remark she wanted to make. When he was satisfied she wasn’t going to mouth off he waved his wand and the potion she made vanished. “You may go.”

“Thank you Professor. Have a good night.” She turned on her heel and quickly left the dungeon, feeling his dark eyes watch her as she fled. As she was rushing back to the Gryffindor Common room she felt the familiar twinge in between her eyes. She knew she was in for a rough night.

**************************************************************************************

Hope had a difficult time settling down for the night. She piercing in her skull had been gaining intensity. For the first time since she had been there she regretted coming without her Uncle. He always knew how to help her feel better. Whether they spent the night talking or he would just sit with her as she struggled so she wasn't alone. He took care of her, he always took care of her. She spent the night tossing and turning, her mind turning against her. Black liquid was flooding her brain. The same pair of green eyes were starring back at her. They would go from a state of shock and morph into eyes of confusion. The feeling of melancholy worked its way back into her soul and it was stifling her. Never before did she ever think that her own mind would suffocate her. She was all alone and there was no one there to wake her from the prison of her mind.

As daybreak hit, Hope found herself in the bathroom with her head over the toilet. The piercing agony in her head was beyond anything she had ever felt before. It was as if someone were driving a hot poker from the fireplace directly into her brain. Tears poured down her face as the last wave of nausea finally passed. She needed help, but she was too weak to get up and go to Professor McGonagall. Instead, Hope laid her head down on the cold hard floor for some brief relief. Cold always helped ease her pain before, but this pain was beyond measure. She needed to at least get back to bed, but she didn't have the strength to pull herself off of the floor. Eventually she slipped into a deep sleep with her face pressed against the floor. After what seemed like only moments later a voice woke Hope up with a start. She sat up quickly and immediately regretted it as the piercing pain returned.

“Hope...my dear are you alright?” Professor McGonagall’s frantic voice filled her ears like hot lava heading to her brain. Everything was too loud. Hope squinted as the brightness burned her eyes and looked up to her Head of House.

“What time is it?” Hope saw sunlight streaming into the room. It had been barely light out when she was last conscious. Confusion flooded her exhausted mind.

“It’s after 2pm. I was informed that you missed your flying lesson with Madame Hooch. I thought perhaps you had mixed up the time as we've kept you very busy this past week. I went to check the great hall to see if you were eating lunch and the house elves informed me that you hadn’t been down to eat.”

“I’m so sorry Professor. I- I had a bad night." Hope groaned and clutched the side of her head. "My headache was so horrible it made me sick. I've never had one this bad. I couldn't get up to go for help. I must have fallen asleep here. I didn’t mean to miss a flying lesson.“ Minerva helped Hope to her feet.

“I remember your mother having some nasty spells like this. Do not worry about missing your lesson. There is plenty of time for you to learn how to fly on a broom. That isn't what is important. Let’s get you down to Madam Pomfrey. She used to make your mother feel better.” Hope looked down at her baggy sweatpants and your loose V-Neck t-shirt and felt embarrassment flood her face.

“Don’t worry about how you are dressed. No one will see you. Come Hope.” Professor McGonagall wrapped a firm arm around Hope's body and led her down the stairs and out of the Common Room through the portrait hole. If it hadn't been for the professor's strong grip, Hope was certain she would have fainted. The walk to the hospital wing had Hope feeling dizzy. As soon as they walked into the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey made a fuss over Hope and got her into one of the beds. Hope heard her tell Professor McGonagall that she would keep her updated. Hope felt a cool compress on her head that was soothing and the room darkened.

Unbeknownst to Hope, she spent the next 4 and a half days in and out of consciousness in the hospital wing. It wasn’t surprising that the healing potions Madam Pomfrey had tried were ineffective, they had never worked well before. The would sometimes take the edge off of the pain so that Hope could function, but this pain was incessant. One evening as Hope slipped briefly into consciousness she heard Professor Dumbledore’s calming voice.

“Remus said she’s never had a spell that has lasted this long. As the full moon is about to hit, he cannot come to the castle. I have precautions prepared for subsequent full moons, but I was unable to get them ready so quickly. He is beside himself with worry and his condition makes him more agitated now than he normally is. I promised to send him updates." Hope felt a pang of guilt. It was bad enough Remus had to deal with the full moon, he shouldn't have to worry about her too. Another set of footsteps approached. Hope was in too much pain and far too exhausted to let them know you were awake. "Oh Severus good." Dumbledore continued speaking. "Do you have it? And you had no problems brewing it?” Hope felt the pain overwhelm her again and she slipped back into the darkness before she could hear Snape's response..

Whatever Severus Snape had brought to Dumbledore was helping. The pain was very slowly dissipating. It also must have been keeping her asleep as she hadn't been awake since the last time she heard Dumbledore's voice. Her dreams had begun to change. Instead of inky black and green eyes, her dreams were of being a little girl and her Uncle walking her on the beach and in hand. He had a youthful glow about him, but a deep sadness in his eyes. She heard his laugh as he spun her around. They built sand castles and she watched as he helped her paint her first picture. As difficult as it had been for the both of them, Remus had given her a wonderful life.

It was two more days of pleasant dreams and memories before Hope slowly opened her eyes. For the first time in almost a week, the pain was gone. Three pairs of eyes peered down at her, Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape. She was surprised to see that Snape seemed just as concerned as the other two. Hope blinked her eyes to adjust.

“How are you feeling Hope?” Professor Dumbledore gave her a comforting smile.

“I- better- I think. Yes, definitely better. How long have I been here?”

“All week. You gave us all quite a scare. I must say your Uncle is beside himself. He will be arriving tomorrow. I’m sure he will be thrilled to know that you’re on the mend.”

“A week? It’s never been that bad.” Hope looked at Professor Snape. She wasn’t sure if he knew her situation. She wanted to be careful about what she said. Dumbledore must have sensed her apprehension.

“Remus agreed that it was essential to bring in Professor Snape into the fold. We needed his potions expertise. None of the remedies that used to work for your mother were helping you. He was able to brew something up that seemed to help. Though it is not something you can take frequently.”

“Wh- What was it?”

“Oh a very complicated potion. We can discuss that at another time. For now, we will leave you in Madam Pomfrey’s capable hands. I wish for you to stay for the rest of the day just to make sure you are truly okay. You can return to your dormitory tomorrow morning if all goes well. I will stop back and check on you this evening.” McGonagall gave Hope a smile that was filled with relief, where as Snape still looked worried. Without another word, all 3 professors were retreating. When Hope looked to the side table, there sat her sketch book and pencils and smiled. Even from far away, her Uncle was making sure she was getting what she needed.

She spent the day being fawned over by Madam Pomfrey and being fed by House Elves. Hope was obsessed with all things chocolate, a love she and Remus had in common. The chocolate cake from the Hogwarts Kitchen was divine. In between it all, she sketched. She sketched the only thing that had been on her mind for almost two weeks. The pair of emerald green eyes surrounded by a fluid black background. They were quite nice, whoever they belonged too. Hope had just finished adding the color to her drawing when Dumbledore walked in. He had something in his hands.

“Good Evening Hope. I’m informed you’re doing quite well. I'm happy that Remus wont have to storm the castle to get to the hospital wing to get to you. I see you found your sketch book I had left for you. Remus said it helps clear your mind. May I?” He gestured her book. Hope slowly handed it to him. He studied the eyes staring back at him and it was like a light of recognition went off in his mind, though he didn’t say why. “May I ask what made you draw this?” She sighed. She always had a hard time explaining what you were seeing.

“For a month, all I have seen is darkness, blackness, despair and longing. Then suddenly these eyes started popping into my dreams.”

“When?”

“Not long before I came here. Maybe 2 1/2 weeks ago.” He nodded, but didn’t give anything away. He clearly had an opinion and no plans to share it.

“I brought these for you. I thought you might like them.” He handed her two photos. One was of a much younger Remus and her mother. Remus had his arm around her and they donned their Hogwarts uniforms, they were both grinning madly. When Hope pulled out the picture behind it, she gasped. There she was, sitting on the lap of a beautiful red headed woman and next to her, on her mother’s lap was a little boy with dark hair and a bright smile. Standing behind Lily was a tall man, with messy dark hair and wire rimmed glasses. Finally, standing next to him and behind her mother was the most handsome man she had ever seen. A man whose face she had only seen a few times, her father.

“Is that...” Hope’s voice trailed off and she covered her mouth holding in a sob.

“Yes Hope. You’re sitting with Lily. And Harry is with your mother. James and your father are behind you.” Seeing her mother so happy and laughing made tears fill her eyes. She couldn’t have been alive much longer after this was taken. Hope wondered if she knew this was one of the last times they would all be together? She could barely look at her father without her heart breaking. He and James were so joyful and carefree. Harry was turned towards Hope and gripped in his hand was hers. Both children were laughing along with their parents. “Had fate been kinder, you and Harry would have led much different lives. You would have grown up together. I think you will find a very good friend in Harry Potter.”

“Professor, thank you. I-“ Hope couldn’t say anything more.

“You are most welcome. Now don’t get too upset or you’ll get me in trouble.” You laughed slightly as Dumbledore’s blue eyes sparkled down at you. “Now get some sleep. I will see you tomorrow.” Dumbledore smiled once more and headed back from where he came.

Hope spent the rest of the evening staring at the pictures Dumbledore gave her. She wasn’t sure why he had them, but she didn’t much care. She stared at the picture until she fell asleep, dreaming of the family that she longed to have. What would it have been like to grow up with both of her parents or even just one of them? She loved Remus so much, but she couldn’t help wanting what she couldn’t have. Snape's potion must have still been working because for the first time that Hope could remember, she had a dreamless sleep. She slept in the following morning and ate the breakfast that the house elves brought her. When she was done, Madam Pomfrey wished her well and sent her on her way.

When Hope got back to her room she hid the pictures from Dumbledore into the bottom of her trunk. She wasn't quite ready to share that part of her with anyone. She couldn't imagine the reaction to Sirius Black being her father would be a good. one. It was best to keep that photo for just herself, for now. She pulled out a clean uniform and robes and laid them out for later. She dug out some clean lounge clothes and proceeded to take the longest, hottest shower she had ever taken. She ate lunch in the common room while looking through more of the books on the shelves. She lost herself in a copy of "Household Stories from the Collection of the Brothers Grimm" .

When she realized that her classmates would be arriving any moment. She cleaned up her mess and ran quickly to her room to get changed. Once she was dressed she tried to smooth out her hair, which was pointless. There was no taming the curly blonde locks that adorned her head. She really hoped one of the Gryffindor girls knew a spell to help her straighten her hair. She excitedly bound out of her room and through the portrait hole. She wanted to get to The Great Hall and see her Uncle before the feast started. She rushed through the hall as students started piling in. As she weaved through the mass of students she smacked directly into another student.

She stumbled back and they grabbed her both of her arms with strong hands to steady her. She looked up to see a boy with unruly dark hair, a bit of a scar on his forehead peaked out below his hair. He wore wired rimmed glasses. Behind the glasses stared the eyes that had been haunting her for weeks. The brilliant emerald green eyes belonged to Harry Potter.

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robynmarkius · 4 years

Text

Language Differences

So I have a bit of a long ramble, which involves Spoilers for the end of 5.3; obviously. Some of it’s already out there as I replied on mobile while half asleep, but it led to talking to the lovely @shiro-from-cafeberry about the German text. (Once again, thank you so much! I enjoy talking to you! :D <3 I have discovered I have even more questions for you to help with. lol) I then bothered my friend and co-writer @xehniscreations about French and she said it’d be a good practice to shake off the rust. (She ended up translating the whole ending scene for practice! <33 lol )

This all started because I am married to a man who has a degree in Linguistics and a simple questioning of one line/part led to hours of jokes and discussions. Which then turned into me putting my game client into two languages that I don’t speak a word of just to see what a character said... XD And! And! Learning a few other things along the way. I’ve been having so much fun with this and I hope you all can too. Plopping a cut here so as not to completely destroy anyone still trying to avoid Spoilers... or those who want to prepare some tissues. lol

I have cried a lot in the process of this entire Translation, and keep crying. lol As long as this post/translator ramble got, I made sure to post the ‘screenshot comic’, “Remnant” [as its own post] for the sake of focus. That was the scene that started this trip down the rabbit hole, after all. xD

After three days of editing this post, I decided to split it, so that this was just the ending scene. There’s flashbacks I also covered, but this was getting extremely long and I realize that I had not asked Shiro about the first flashback at all! So I still have things to finish and more to talk about before I have more.

For now, though, let’s talk!

Part One: Elidibus’ Explanation

The lines in question came from when Elidibus picked up the crystals, then told us he heard the voices of despair/cries and lamentations of his friends. After which there’s a slightly awkward explanation about how there were lots of opinions and thoughts about the world/star, which led to Elidibus pulling himself free of Zodiark in order to help his friends. It bothered Hubs because it felt kinda “clunky”; he explained:

“I think it’s because of a general norm of Japanese society we hear so much about. That it’s important to have a consensus and not to stir up trouble or stick out too much; which is how that part kind of reads. Your direct Translation is fine. I just feel like the localization team just kinda gave up when they wrote the English version. They could have give a little more context on it when they wrote it. Instead, what happens is, it feels out of place and awkward where it is. It also doesn’t give the context of when Elidibus freed himself from Zodiark. Is there any context that says that wasn’t when Hydaelyn shattered the star into the reflections or Shards?”

Putting aside his question about when Elidibus actually separated from Zodiark for now; as that’s a whole ‘nother discussion that’s rather interesting; I finally understood what he meant by my Translation felt clunky. It was accurate to a “direct translation” versus a “localization”. I re-translated the whole part just to make sure I hadn’t missed anything, and made sure that the final lines I wrote in English still made sense. lol

First, I wanted to note the differences in terms; in case I slip when putting this together. ^^; The literal translation of 「十四人委員会」 would be "Fourteen-person Committee"; but in the context of FF14, (at least in English,) we call it the "Convocation of Fourteen", so I try to stick with that for final translations. What makes anything with the Ancients more difficult, is that they're not speaking a language that we can immediately understand, but rather making sounds that our Echo/超える力/l'Écho/Kraft des Transzendierens interprets into words we/the WoL/WoD can understand. The downside is lack of clarification for actual translation if you don't fluently read or speak another language. lol

For example, when Elidibus speaks, we hear the words spoken, so if there's a kanji that's said more than one way, I can hear which definition is correct by listening to the sentence. But the Ancients' "woop woop wop wah wahp woo" is harder to interpret... but, at least it's the same in every language, right? XD For German, they have “The Convent”, and French has “The Council of Fourteen”.

Second, in English, we called him “The Emissary”, which is another term for “Mediator; Arbitrator; Go-Between” which is the definition of the term 調停者 [shouteisha] , his Japanese title. When translating from German, Shiro used the term “The Advocate”. His French title is “le Médiateur” His role seems to be the same, at least, he settled disputes, found the facts, kept things in check, and generally maintained balance. That was the seat of Elidibus; which is necessary to understand why he said what he said about being needed. (Those titles come from the first flashback as well as the second one; which I’ll get to in the next post. <3 )

The English lines that started this conversation are: “Divided -- over the fate of the star. A rare occurrence, always fleeting. But not this time. Not this time... Reconciliation. Elidibus. I was needed. I withdrew myself from Zodiark. For them...”

Japanese: 世界の行く末について、たくさんの意見が出た…… そんなことは珍しいから、委員会のみんなが悩んでいた。

だったら、エリディブスが手助けしに行かないと…… そう思って、ゾディアークから零れ落ちたんだ。

Final Translation: (after edits and all this discussion) "A great many opinions were expressed regarding the fate of the world, Everyone in the Convocation was troubled, since such a thing was unusual.

That being the case, I could not go help them in my role as Emissary. I believed that they needed Elidibus, so I pulled myself from Zodiark.”

In French, from Xehnis: "Le Concile avait perdu sa cohésion...Face à l’anéantissement, les avis divergeaient sur la marche à suivre pour sauver notre planéte…

Ça ne leur ressemblait pas...Plus que jamais, ils avaient besoin d’Elidibus...Ils avaient besoin de moi...Alors, je me suis détaché de Zordiarche pour voler à leur secours…”

Her final translation: “The Council had lost its cohesion...In the face of annihilation, opinions differed on the way to save our planet…

It does not resemble them...more than ever, they needed Elidibus...they needed me....so, I detached from Zordiark to fly to their aid…”

The German lines, from Cafe Berry’s Shiro, along with the explanations: "Die Zukunft der Welt hing in der Schwebe und Chaos machte sich breit. Die Ascians waren zutiefst gespalten. Der Konvent uneins..."

Here, they are talking about how the Ascians, and most importantly, the convent is divided. How the future of the world was not clear and with that chaos spread.

"Elidibus, der Fürsprecher, musste etwas tun. Ich musste etwas tun. Und so spaltete ich mich wieder von Zodiark ab ..."

Here, Elidibus says that Elidibus, as the Emissary, had to do something. HE had to do something. So he split off from Zodiark.

Their translation they gave me then, was: "The future of the world hung in the balance and chaos spread. The Ascians were deeply divided. The convent divided ...

Elidibus, the advocate, had to do something. I had to do something. And so I split off from Zodiark again ... "

This was the part that my husband had called into question; with my original translation to:

"Many opinions and thoughts came forth, regarding the fate of our world.... The Convocation was worried, as such a thing was unusual."

世界の行く末について、たくさんの意見が出た…… そんなことは珍しいから、委員会のみんなが悩んでいた。

The literal translation of it all, would be: "The world's future/fate concerning/regarding, a great many/a lot (of) comments were brought up/expressed......

such thing(s) are/is curious/rare/unusual because/since, committee of everyone("Everyone on the Committee") (was/were actively being) troubled/worried.”

There was also the lines that followed, which were also rough to word in English, so the whole section had felt awkward.

だったら、エリディブスが手助けしに行かないと…… そう思って、ゾディアークから零れ落ちたんだ。

“if that's the case, Elidibus (from) assistance (as/in the role of) to go/to do (could not),

so/appearing that/seeming that considered/believed/reckoned/judged/decided/desired, Zodiark (from) spilled over/scattered from (n'da - 'no desu' / 'no da' used to add emphasis)"

I had tried: "I decided that they needed Elidibus, but as I was I couldn't help them, so I pulled myself away from Zodiark.

Which was another way to put the idea of: "That being the case, Elidibus could not go rescue/help, I believed, then spilled and fell over/scattered from Zodiark."

It ended up: "A great many thoughts and opinions were expressed regarding the fate of the world, Everyone on the Committee was troubled, since such a thing was unusual.If that was the case, I could not give them assistance in the role of Arbitrator. I believed that they needed Elidibus, so I fell/scattered from Zodiark."

In the end, for this part, it really helped to learn what was said in French and German, because it helped solidify more what was trying to be said, and that there probably is at least a little societal influence in the Japanese text. If it hadn’t been for Xehnis and Shiro’s assistance, I probably wouldn’t have landed on something that felt comfortable enough in English. <3

They all feel different, but have the same general idea: that even after Zodiark was summoned; and Elidibus became his Heart; things hadn’t been fixed. Things continued to grow worse, and they began to fight, and have conflict. As Arbitrator/Emissary/Advocate/Mediator, Elidibus’ job was to maintain balance, and settle disputes, but he could no longer do the job of his seat as the Heart of Zodiark, and it seemed to be destroying the Convocation; making things worse; so he yanked himself out of a Primal to go tell everyone to SIMMER DOWN, NOW.

Sidenote/Side Question here... I wonder what happened with Venat and Hydaelyn...? Perhaps we’ll get clarification in the future, as the only person who’s become/been anything like Elidibus has been Minfilia as the ‘Words of the Mother’, then sent off as an “Emissary” of sorts to the First. lol

This all led to wondering about the last line; as it was clearly different in the Japanese Audio than the English Text. I do want to state that I think what they did in English worked just as well for the emotional gut punch intended from Elidibus’ last words; but it’s very different. It did lead to looking at the flashback in Anemnesis Anyder where we heard the line about the rain, which will be in the next post.

English: “The rains have ceased, and we have been graced with another beautiful day. But you are not here to see it.”

Japanese: 私が最後に残ったって……仕方ないじゃないか……。 Translation: “There’s nothing for it then, is there? I’m the last one left...”

French: Je devais partir en dernier... Comment aurais-je pu abandonner mes amis, esseulés en ce bas monde? Translation: “I had to leave last...how could I abandon (forsake) my friends, lonely in this lowly world?”

German: Es ist vorbei ... Alles verloren ... Ich bin der Letzte ... Translation: "It is over. Everything lost... I am the last..."

Japanese can also be read as “I’m the last one left... I guess it can’t be helped, huh?” but even in context, it didn’t flow quite as well as I’d like.. but that doesn’t take away from the crying, does it... ; A; I got the term “Remnant” from Japanese, where “watashi ga saigo ni nokotta tte” would literally translate to “I’m the final remnant”/”I’m the last leftover”, which I did word as “I’m the last one remaining/left.” (It is also 'Sumo term, cried by the referee to indicate that a rikishi is still in the ring’, but that didn’t quite feel right here, however, you can take the sumo joke if you’d like. <3)

I’m going to repeat that I think referring back to the line he was told back when he’d gotten the title of Elidibus wasn’t bad, and it did still work very well to convey that lost, lonely, longing he was left with as a remnant; what little was left of him, lamented the loss of his beloved people; people that he’d just wanted to save. This is evidenced in French and German; where he states that he’s all that’s left, everything is lost, it is over... that he had to go last, so he wouldn’t abandon his friends.

I appreciate that we gave Elidibus all the constellation stones, which, in a way, let him finally be with all of his friends once more. All the stones, except for ours; we kept that, because Hades made it for us. He made it for us to remember, so that the story of the Ancients wouldn’t be forgotten; the ‘truth’ he made sure he told us when we asked about the past.

At least, that’s what I choose to believe for now.

[Next Post >>]

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idealisticrealism · 4 years

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Hello! I hope you are doing fine. So I read the new chapters of Into Flames and ... oh boy, oh boy... I'm not gonna lie, when I read chapter 3 my first reaction was similar to the one Remi half-expected from Weller: a psychopath creeping into the house where Sawyer was sleeping with a knife. And, I am not gonna lie again, I was a bit puzzled about Kurt's reaction in chapter 4. His sister and her son were sleeping in that house. And Remi just decided to go there and threaten his father after (1)

Oh, ReviewerAnon. I freakin love getting to hear your thoughts on this story. And funnily enough, I literally thought of you the very day before you sent these Asks, wondering if you were still reading along, and I was so excited to see the notifications show up less than 24hrs later. Given the length of your messages-- not to mention the undoubtedly very long responses I will be giving to your questions/comments about IF-- I’m going to put the rest under a Read More so people don’t have to scroll past a huge block of text. But to any of my followers that are reading IF, feel free to read this and even add any thoughts you might have, bc there might be some interesting (and spoiler-free) things for you to discover if you want to look below the cut :)

So I read the new chapters of Into Flames and ... oh boy, oh boy... I'm not gonna lie, when I read chapter 3 my first reaction was similar to the one Remi half-expected from Weller: a psychopath creeping into the house where Sawyer was sleeping with a knife. And, I am not gonna lie again, I was a bit puzzled about Kurt's reaction in chapter 4. His sister and her son were sleeping in that house. And Remi just decided to go there and threaten his father after a two sentence discussion with Weller. Determined to get an answer Weller hadn't gotten, in a way he never dared to. It made me uncomfortable. So I gave it a couple of weeks and thought about it. And in some way it made sense. Because she loves him and she realized that he could never be a whole person again until he got an answer that would allow him to put the past behind him. And he would never get an answer because he could never put a knife in that man's throat and demand it. And the past and that man would continue to hunt him. The same past and man that had pushed him to almost take his own life. So she does what he can't do and he accepts it because he understands it comes from a place of love and more importantly because he feels it in his bones that he would never have an answer in any other way. Or at least that's how I saw it.

Oh man. I have so much to say about this and I hope it’s going to make sense. Firstly, my immediate response to you not liking Remi’s actions was “Nooooooooo” because I’m always sad when someone doesn’t enjoy something in my writing. But I’m so delighted that you actually gave it the benefit of the doubt and thought about it from different angles rather than just dismissing it as a poor writing choice, and honestly the conclusion you came to is pretty much exactly what I was going for! But to say a bit more about it, because I can’t help myself lol: firstly, though we haven’t had much opportunity to see it in either fic, Remi is fiercely protective of kids (even while having very little idea of how to interact with them), given her history with the orphanage and Shepherd’s parenting etc. Literally from the moment she heard his story about Taylor in the cave, she knew that she would have gotten the truth out of Bill by any means necessary if she had been in Weller’s shoes, and would also have made Bill pay dearly for it. When she discovers at the safehouse that Bill is practically within reach, there is no question for her that she has to do this for Weller. Not only does she love him and want him to have closure, but she feels that she owes it to him to do what he can’t-- to her, Weller saved her, showed her that she wasn’t just the irredeemable monster that Shepherd had created; but she also knows that her darker side is exactly what is needed for this, because only someone who was a little bit monstrous could do what was necessary to get the truth from someone like Bill. By doing it herself, she ensures Weller will get the answer he so desperately wants and needs, all without ever tainting his soul or his conscience. Did a part of her also almost hope (even as the thought terrified her) that doing this terrible thing would make him turn his back on her once he learned of it? Honestly, I think so, even if just a little bit. Because yes, she loves him, but she is still half-convinced that she is the very thing he needs protecting from, not to mention that she is insecure as hell, and if he left her now because of this, that would be easier to bear than him leaving her later bc he just ‘lost interest’ or fell for someone else or whatever.

As for Weller’s reaction-- despite their grim nature, he sees her actions for the gift of love that they are, sees her taking the burden of doing ‘evil’ onto her own shoulders in order to both heal his old wounds and prevent him gaining new ones. And honestly, when he learns of it, I don’t think her going into the apartment with Sarah and Sawyer gives him even a moment’s concern-- firstly, he knows she would have used as little force as possible with Bill, because he knows her and knows that she’s not needlessly cruel, and also that she cares what he thinks of her, so there would have been no doubt in his mind hat she would have been very restrained in her approach. He knows, too, that with her level of skill, Sarah and Sawyer were bound to never even know she was there. And if by some unlucky chance they did discover her, it would probably all be fine-- Sarah knows and trusts her and so would listen to what she had to say, and Sawyer was little enough that he would believe pretty much anything that this gentle and pretty lady said, especially if his mom was also awake to say she was Uncle Kurt’s girlfriend. (Btw let’s not forget Bill would be rendered unconscious the moment he made a peep, so it’s not like either of them would walk in on him squealing like a stuck pig with her standing over him covered in blood and holding a knife).

But aaaanyway TL/DR; Remi Briggs would do anything to protect Kurt Weller from literally any form of harm, regardless of the cost to herself, and Weller recognises this and would never turn on her for doing so, even if she did it in a way that others might condemn. He just accepts her and finds his own ways to protect her in return, because that’s what you do for the people you love.

A question here: why do you think he never threatened his father for an answer when he was sure about what he had done? Why didn't he put a gun to his head? He must have thought about it. Perhaps, when it came to that man Weller would always feel like a 10-year old boy with no power over his paternal figure? Helpless and hopeless?

Oooh boy, time for a fun fact: my first idea for Weller’s ‘dark secret’ wasn’t that he tried to kill himself. It was actually much like what you said; sometime when he had grown into a tall, broad-shouldered teenager who almost physically rivalled his father for size and was no longer paralysed by his fear of him, he was going to finally snap, attack his father and threaten him with a gun to get him to tell him the truth about Taylor. Then, either he would have the sudden realization that he had also become a violent monster just like his father and immediately back off, or Sarah would unexpectedly appear and interrupt the confrontation, following which Weller would run off and enlist and basically banish himself to the other side of the world in shame/to protect her and others from himself. When I thought about it, though, I decided that him actually going through with something like that didn’t really fit with the image of Weller I had in my head (even a traumatised and angsty and hormonal teenaged Weller) so I changed the plot to have him nearly kill himself instead. The subtext of that moment, which I never actually explicitly wrote but was definitely there in my mind, was that the reason he nearly killed himself and then later ran away to the Army was because he wanted to kill his father, wanted to attack him just like I described above, and was so horrified by that urge-- and by the belief that it meant that he truly was his father’s son, just another violent monster like Bill-- that he ran as far and fast as he could and then focused his entire life around helping people (as much as one can while in the Army... though that’s a political debate for another time), trying to stamp out or at least outrun that part of himself. Obviously that’s a level of complexity that you guys never really received bc I never actually told you-- but actually as I write this, I actually now know exactly where and when I will include it in the future. So I guess you did just get a teeny spoiler there haha :P

Anyway... Chapter 5 was AMAZING. I love how much she loves Weller and I'm so glad that she just went ahead and said it. I love that it is important to her that he knows that she feels the same. What a difference a few weeks, a good man, and the generous love of that man can make to a broken person... Remi has come a long way. I also LOVED the interaction between Emma and Remi but I kind of also wanted a glimpse of Remi's thoughts on the necklace and what Emma's gesture meant to her.

“What a difference a few weeks, a good man, and the generous love of that man can make to a broken person”-- Yes!! You have literally captured the entire theme of FTA and IF. I started writing FTA purely because I wondered what kind of person Remi would have become if she’d met Weller earlier. The assassination attempt by Orion was a turning point in her life, one that (in canon) drove her back to Shepherd and to the ‘dark side’. But if it had led her to Weller instead, and to the side of good... what else would change, not only for her, but for all of them? Exploring that in IF has been awesome, partly because I get to right a lot of wrongs, but also because I get to take two traumatised people who have suffered a lot in their lives and let them start to heal together, and just be happy and stupidly in love?? The whole thing is pure bliss, both for them and for me lol

Also I get what you mean about wanting to know Remi’s reaction to Emma and the necklace, given that we never got to really see it bc that scene was all from Weller’s POV. I will do my best to address it someday, and I think I even have an idea of where it could happen....

The tattoos in chapter 6 were indeed EXTRA but they are drunk in love so go ahead with all the grand dramatic gestures...

Dude, you have no idea how hard I fought with myself on that one. The sensible side was all “Laura, no, it’s so lame and over-the-top! Don’t do it! Everyone will roll their eyes and be unable to take you seriously ever again!” while the fluff-loving little fangirl in me just repeatedly cried “But I wanna!!” Which was clearly enough argument to convince me, given the sappy romantic that I am lol. (A decision that was helped along by a little encouragement from the ever-awesome @chibinoyume). And as it turns out, people seemed to enjoy the whole tattoo thing, thankfully! I think the fact that these two are clearly very much in the ‘Honeymoon Phase’ helped out there, as did the fact that the tattoos could technically be viewed as a reminder of their journey/survival rather than just specifically of each other. But man, I wish I could have gotten to write Remi’s indecision as she paced around the spare bedroom for a couple of hours trying to decide whether to tattoo herself or not lol. Because (much like my own little internal debate haha) she wanted to do it, but felt that she shouldn’t want to do it, and was also nervous about the reaction if she did. But anyway, I may very well end up writing a oneshot of that moment someday. We’ll see.

Chapter 7 was so much fun! Thank god for shared bathrooms and extra doors and kudos to Remi for claiming what obviously belongs to her. She loves him and he loves her and good for them for not holding anything back. Life is too short and they wasted a lot of years already without love in their life.

I agree completely!! These two have both lived so much of their lives in emotional isolation-- I mean, yes, Weller had Sarah and Sawyer and Emma, but like I said earlier, he had deliberately kept his distance out of fear and shame, and then by the time he started to realise that he wasn’t his father, he was so used to being far away that I think it just made sense to stay that way. So when he and Remi found each other and experienced that deep sense of connection for the first time, they might have shied away from it at first, but once they accepted it, no one was ever going to be able to make them let go. They are each others’ person, and always will be, even if they both get afflicted by insecurity at times!

Also hell yes about the shared bathrooms!!! I know I could have written it that way regardless, bc I’m the author and I can do what I want, but having reality actually back me up on it was amazing lol. I’m pretty sure you asked several weeks ago what the bedroom/roommate situation was like at Quantico and I couldn’t tell you back then, so I’m glad I finally got to share the answer with you haha!

And although I am sure other readers are ready for team bonding and first friendships (at least for Remi), I am here for Mayfair. Mayfair is an absolute queen and has shown more caring and love for these two than their parental figures ever did. I am now gonna go ahead and selfishly say what I would like to see: I'm here for both of them (together and separately) having a heart-to-heart with Mayfair. I'm here for Remi sincerely saying how much she appreciates everything Mayfair has done for them, although she owed her nothing. I'm honestly here for them to send Mayfair flowers and chocolates and maybe a new scarf. I want grand gestures! One of the greatest failures of the show, in my opinion, was the lack of healthy relationships between people of different generations. It's pathetic that almost every person over 40 turned out to be a villain and every single parental figure (except Emma who we saw for like 2 seconds and Bill Nye) failed miserably their children (I am not even going to talk about killing Mayfair). Our relationships are not just with people of our age, our friends or siblings. We have important relationships with our parents, our aunts, our older colleagues or friends and we often turn to them for love and advice and encouragement and maybe to get yelled at for doing stupid things. Why on earth could we not have that on Blindspot? The team is great and everything but Mayfair's relationship with Weller was amazing (and I guess her relationship with Patterson and the others, if they cared to elaborate on time and not after death). So please please more Mayfair in the story... (They will have weekends off at some point, right? And they will need protection. A safehouse, right? I am sure Mayfair can have a beachhouse or a lakehouse or a house on the top of a mountain where they can go spend the weekend safely because Mayfair is the head of the NYO and she has to have extra security, right? I will pay money for a Remi-Mayfair talk about her relationship with Weller and how it has changed her but also confiding to her about what kind of future she sees with Weller after Orion is defeated.)

This is a really interesting point, and I honestly hadn’t noticed until now just how many of the older characters turned out to be absolutely awful, or if they weren’t, got quickly killed off. I will forever be bitter about Mayfair’s end (I held onto denial about her death for so damn long, sigh) and that was one of the things I wanted to rectify in this story. Mayfair is an amazing part of the team and an incredible character in her own right. Though with that said, I honestly hadn’t planned for her to be in the Quantico-based chapters much at all, purely bc she’s a busy lady and NYC is several hours away, but after getting your asks I had an idea for a very Mayfair-focused chapter and I think you’re going to enjoy it a lot. Well, I hope so, anyway!

Finally, with the way these two are behaving I'm half expecting a marriage proposal and a yes before the question gets fully asked and I will be like "I mean yeah... it makes total sense after 6 weeks together..."

Hahahaha I love that you would be on board with a Reller engagement already! I get what you mean; they’ve been A Lot lately, especially bc of all the uncertainty of their changing situation, but I think once they settle into Quantico life they’ll tone it down a notch lol. Plus, it definitely is still early days, and there’s a lot that these guys have to figure out before they could get to that point! I can neither confirm nor deny that a proposal will happen by the end of the fic (mostly because I legitimately don’t know yet lol-- I have about 20 chapters to write before we even get near to the end, so I’ve got lots of other things to be focusing on for now haha). But with that said, if I do include one, I hope it’ll be done in such a way that it makes you go “Yes. This is right. This is exactly how it should be.” And if I don’t include one, I promise I’ll make it very clear that they’re committed to each other regardless ;)

My friend, you are crazy talented. Insanely talented. And I can tell how much you enjoy writing this story. So kudos to you and here's to many more chapters of Remi and Weller (and Mayfair...) This message is waaaay too long but I wanted to write for a few weeks now and finally I had some time to write down my thoughts. I hope this is okay. Stay healthy and safe! ReviewerAnon

Oh man. Honestly, the fact that you have so many thoughts and feelings about this story is one of the biggest compliments I’ve ever received (although you saying I’m insanely talented is definitely another huge one!!!). Thank you so much for taking the time not only to read my work, but to think about it, to analyse what you feel about it and why, and for coming here to tell me your findings! You’re right, I do absolutely love writing this story and inhabiting this world with these characters, just as I love sharing that world with you guys! I truly hope that you continue to enjoy the journey, and that you will feel comfortable to continue sharing your thoughts about it. And of course, I hope that you are happy and well in whatever corner of the world you inhabit, just as I am in mine!

Until next time x

#Blindspot #Blindspot fanfic #Into Flames #Reller #reviewerAnon #ask #this was amazing aaaaaaaaaaahh #sorry for the word vomit lol #as you can see I can discuss this story and this pairing endlessly haha

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wexhappyxfew · 4 years

Note

Hey sunshine bean! 🌻🌻 i hope you’re having a wonderful day! I’d love to know the kind of research you’ve done for Natia! And historical figures who’ll be in the book please!? My history-loving ass is so excited for this 😍 And I certainly wouldn’t complain if you were to offer up any memes 👀

AH SUNSHINE BEAN I LOVE IT!!! <3 and hello!!! aw thank u! i’m actually having a really good day today and i hope you are too! and you’re questions, yes ma’am - i am SIKED to answer them! :) thank you so much for sending in such a lovely ask, as always, and even just giving me the chance to chat about natia as a character, it means the world to me, i always appreciate the time people take to send in asks!! <3

and a meme? COMING RIGHT UP

And since this is longer than I expected it is under the cut!! <3

And OK!! LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS (anyone catch the Disney reference LOL I HAD TO)

Let’s just say, at about every sentence, there’s some form of tiny research going on - whether it be for location, how long to a location, proper spelling - LITERALLY ANYTHING - and it is something I truly am LOVING about the entire process specifically of this book. My two others books were focused more on planning and involved characters, this is really focused on Research because unlike my other two, this is focused on the Polish Resistance, a very involved, complex group which had so many different layers and jobs and capabilities during their time in World War 2, especially in the Warsaw Uprising which makes me super excited, as always!! I’m such a nerd I swear, but this stuff just hypes me up! LOL

And something I really love about this story is, we enter right at a moment in time where this group of Resistance Fighters had been fighting for nearly 5 years as a whole - so consider this - they have experience in the field, together, with their weapons, with their operations - all of it. It’s nothing new to them, which is heavily portrayed, and it is something very ‘normal’ to them if that makes sense, in the fact what they do, they’ve done it nearly a hundred times - it’s nothing new. And that makes me excited, because it’s not just this newfound discovery - it’s a group of tired, fed-up people who just want a war to end - something different from my two other books who deal with characters who don’t experience was for the fist section of the book. These characters have been living war for 5 years and when we enter, it is evidently seen.

And man the research for the Polish Resistance if so encapsulating and fascinating to read about! Just everything they did from small operations to executions of Nazis was just, it is such an interesting topic to read about and then get to include in the story. But my main focus was Natia Filipska who, is actually based on the Polish-SOE Agent Krystyna Skarbek or better known as Christine Granville. In the fic, I’m dedicating a chapter to this incredible woman that has loads of information and quotes and connections, just to truly show the deep connections I really tried to make between the two. Which as you can see I am VERY excited about because Krystyna Skarbek did so many daring and fearless missions in her time that were very inspiring for the story of Natia. But I can not exploit those daring missions quite yet, just for the sake of how I have Natia portray similar ones in the story!

Historical Figures who will be in the book YES! I added this on at the end hoping maybe someone would be curious and I AM SO HAPPY YOU ASKED ANGE!!!

Just to list a few historical figures that I use throughout the main first half of this book are Kurt Gerstein, Nikolaus Barbie, Tadeusz Bor-Komorowski, Stefan Rowecki, Leopold Okulicki, Emil August Fieldorf, Antoni Chrusciel, Captain Jozef Zabielski, Major Stanislaw Krzymowski, Political courier Czeslaw Raczkowski, Elżbieta Zawacka, Anna Zakzewska.

Did I mention this is just in the first half of the book? LOL

Kurt Gerstein was a German SS officer and head of technical disinfection for the Insittute for Hygiene of the Waffen-SS, who tried to give out detailed reports to the Allies in hopes of them discovering the true horrors of what the Nazis were doing within the concentration camp, attempting to inform them about the Holocaust, but they never reached their full potential and his reports never made it, no matter how many Allies he interacted with. His role in THIS story, especially in the beginning I feel is more of a rather mysterious one, especially in Natia’s case since suspicion and mystery heavily stem from him as well as plenty of questions - I am very excited for you all to really see the connection between the two of them as Natia works undercover plenty of times and has interactions with Kurt - but you’ll see more on that.

Nikolaus Barbie or Klaus was an SS and Gestapo functionary during the Nazi era who was virtually known as the “Butcher of Lyon” for different things that I will not state he did, during his time. His connection with Natia is smaller but he plays a part in her story as well.

Tadeusz Bor-Komorowski, Stefan Rowecki, Leopold Okulicki, Emil August Fieldorf, Antoni Chrusciel were all Polish Generals and Leaders in the Polish Resistance Movement, the Underground, or the Home Army in various ways that directly affect Natia, her siblings and her small group of rebels in their own ways and their stories are intertwined with Natia’s own - but I shall say no more on that yet!

Captain Jozef Zabielski, Major Stanislaw Krzymowski, Political courier Czeslaw Raczkowski, these 3 were some of the main leaders within the Polish Paratroops - the Cichociemni, which was a highly fascinating group to research and put the Flip Children into it in the early part of the war.

Elżbieta Zawacka was the only female member of the Cichociemni and her story connects eventually with Natia and Klimeck’s at a certain point as the 2 other sole female members of the Cichociemni - her story is so entirely fascinating to research. She was incredible.

Anna Zakzewska is a member of the Polish Home Army whose story eventually HEAVILY affects Natia in a way that I can’t say quite yet, but all I can really say is her story really intertwines with Natia in the first half of this book. But I can’t say much else or it will spoil it AH!

ANDDDDD I do happen to have 1 meme for you at the moment, as I am giving them out sparingly but it is one that is Natia Filipska to a ‘T’ basically LOL

Natia:

And I will leave you with that....

thank you so so much for the ask ange this was truly so much to fun to answer and to pull out some of my research notes that i have taken day AH THANK YOU!!! have a lovely day my friend! <3

#band of brothers #landslide #natia filipska

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michaelmilkers · 5 years

Note

I saw in one of your tags that you mentioned how 21 pilots made emo pretentious and im actually curious about why you say that (not hate i just never knew about them that much)

my friend you have asked me about a topic i am very knowledgeable and very angry about so prepare yourself for what you have wrought

it isnt just twenty one pilots but theyre just the biggest and most popular example

like. take my chemical romance in the early-mid 2000s aka the peak of emo. it was very melodramatic and theatrical, the way emo should be. there was a presence of “we are not like other people” in a lot of the songs, but it was never just that. it was more of a “we have been cast out and we kinda suck but thats okay.” one of the best examples of this is, ironically, i’m not okay.

take, for example, the opening to the mtv music video:

[Ray] You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet. You can't swim, you can't dance and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it. [Gerard] I don't wanna make it, I just wanna...

this immediately establishes the song as being about social outcasts and people who dont fit the mold. the fucking tag line of the song is “i’m not okay” ffs, that really tells you all you need to know about the song. but the important thing is it doesnt take itself too seriously either. the music video takes place in a private school, and shows scenes of the band members eating lunch alone, being bullied by jocks and preps, etc., but it ALSO shows scenes of frank putting swim goggles on in chemistry class and ray drawing on his test with a crayon and then licking it, and at the end they all ambush and beat the shit out of a guy in a mascot costume. all of this is cut up by text saying things like “if you ever felt alone” “if you ever felt wronged” “if you ever felt anxious”

do you see the juxtaposition here? the music video could very very easily be a fake deep bullying psa, but its not, because while theyre getting bullied and playing their music in a garage they are also, unequivocally, total fucking losers for obvious comedic effect. it is a very exaggerated and lighthearted version of real phenomena, which makes it more relatable to a wider audience.

the same can be said about the song itself. it has some pretty heavy and angsty lyrics (”i’m not o-fucking-kay”) but the instrumentals are punchy and energetic and catchy and gerard’s vocal delivery is very theatrical but also very deliberate and he still puts real emotion in the words. it sounds like its taking the piss out of not being okay, which is exactly what i as a clinically depressed 13 year old needed, and i bet a lot of other people can say the same. i’m a loser and thats okay. i fucking suck in school and thats okay. i feel shitty and thats okay. i’m not okay and that, in itself, is okay.

with twenty one pilots, on the other hand, there is no theatrics, theres no taking the piss, theres no over-the-top melodrama that made emo what it was.

take, for comparison, the opening lines of heathens:

All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don't make any sudden moves You don't know the half of the abuse

and this presents, immediately, one of my biggest criticisms of twenty one pilots: their rampant appropriation of mental illness.

because my first thought when hearing this is as an abuse survivor and someone with ptsd they can kiss every single square inch of my ass.

Welcome to the room of people Who have rooms of people that they loved one day Docked away Just because we check the guns at the door Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades You're loving on the psychopath sitting next to you You're loving on the murderer sitting next to you You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

they try to do the same kind of nuanced poetic lyrics that my chemical romance did and in my opinion is just doesnt fucking work because they take themselves SO. FUCKING. SERIOUSLY. it sounds JOYLESS.

and the song closes out with this:

Why'd you come? You knew you should have stayed (It's blasphemy) I tried to warn you just to stay away (Away) And now they're outside ready to bust (To bust) It looks like you might be one of us

this is what i mean by pretentious. there is a clear separation of the person/people from whose point of view the song is told and the people the song is meant to be listened to by from the greater population, but theres no high energy or comedic self deprecation to counteract it.

now take some lyrics from heavydirtysoul, a song i actually really like the sound of, im not just shitting on this band bc its not to my taste yall:

There's an infestation in my mind's imagination I hope that they choke on smoke 'cause I'm smoking them out the basement This is not rap, this is not hip-hop Just another attempt to make the voices stop

Nah, I didn't understand a thing you said If I didn't know better I'd guess you're all already dead Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch Saying stuff like, "You only live once." You've got one time to figure it out One time to twist and one time to shout One time to think and I say we start now Sing it with me if you know what I'm talking about

right back at it again with that appropriation of mental illness symptoms! and some dumbass critique of our generation that doesnt fit in with the rest of the song at all, closing out the verse with “we are not like you” shit. the vocal delivery at least has more energy than heathens, but the lyrics just feel like a mishmash of different points theyre trying to make that have nothing to do with each other.

the best line of the song is undoubtedly “death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit” but its poetic just... for the sake of being poetic? its one of those lyrics that sounds like someone came up with and was like “bro we gotta put that in a song” but then couldnt actually figure out how to fit it into a song in a way that would flow. another example of this is “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” in bring me the horizon’s can you feel my heart. not shitting on bring me the horizon, i really like sempiternal, but thats another line thats just poetic for the sake of being poetic. and to be put on t-shirts. i know this because when i was 12 i had a shirt that said “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” on it.

i could do more analysis on other mcr songs, namely welcome to the black parade and famous last words, but i would be here for literal hours and idk if people actually care that much.

to sum my points up:

they take themselves too seriously. they appropriate and romanticize mental illness (forgot to mention that top’s website, at one time, described their music as “schizoid pop” lol). they pull a lot of “We Are Not Like Other People..,.,.,,...” shit.

that last point is not inherently a bad thing, for example the new slipknot album is literally called “we are not your kind” but the song that contains that line as a lyric is all out life, and corey taylor is screaming that entire song and the instrumentals are reminiscent of speed metal with how fucking energetic they are. its edgy and its GREAT. twenty one pilots just sounds like they think theyre the shit.

also, and i want you to read the following sentence in a bass boosted voice to best understand how i feel when i say this:

the twenty one pilots cover of cancer is an embarrassment that completely misses the point of the original song and changed it into a weird amalgamation of lo-fi synth pop.

emo music is dead. thank u and goodnight.

#Anonymous

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bartsugsy · 5 years

Text

why the ‘aaron gets kidnapped’ storyline of 2018 was perfect robron content and if you don’t think so you’re objectively wrong and yes i know the definition of objective bc someone already told me

hello spoons welcome to a post i like to call ‘im right’ strap in u sausages i love u

in this post i will argue the existence and also beauty of the storyline, in the beautiful and haunting year of 2018, in which our hero aaron gets fuckin kidnapped straight off the street by some punk named sid and then our other hero robert has to go and get his husband back

it’s underrated bc it can never be rated enough and also bc some people weren’t particularly enamoured by it and i’m here to tell u why ur all incorrect

and i know this because i have a degree in correctness check it out

oNTO THE POST ABOUT WHY THIS STORYLINE IS ART

we open with robert walking down a street

technically we open with other stuff that happened before this but im getting right down to the goods i have a point to make

SO robert is walking down the street when he SUDDENLY gets a video call from aaron

and he’s like weird how aaron is video calling me right now he never does this unless it’s 2am and we’ve been separated for more than 12 hours wow

but it’s AARON TIED TO A CHAIR LOOKING SAD AND DISTRESSED

BC SID WANTS MONEY AND EXPLOITING AARON’S RICH ASS HUSBAND IS THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT

AND FRANKLY IT WORKED SO I CAN ONLY COMMEND HIM FOR KNOWING ROBERT’S WEAKNESS

AARON

SO ROBERT IS LIKE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET

SEES THAT HIS HUBBY LOVE OF HIS LIFE MAN OF HIS DREAMS

HAS BEEN

TAKEN

robert is not happy about this and goes to the only two people he reasonably thinks can help, cain and moira

which seems right, i think u will agree

anyway stuff happens, they dont know how to get aaron back, time is running out

and honestly

this is where beautiful thing #1 happens

1. robert isn’t willing to risk aaron’s life for the sake of money

they’ve come so far

and like ok we already knew that and frankly we knew that from the lodge days when he couldn’t kill aaron even tho he knew it would be the end of life as he knew it, with all his money and power, to let him go

bc rob isn’t really about that highfalutin murderin’ lifestyle really even tho he really does love money a whole lot

he just loves aaron more

SO ROBBO IS OUT HERE LIKE UM I’M NOT JUST GONNA

SIT AROUND

AND WAIT FOR AARON TO BE BRUTALLY MURDERED CAIN

I’M GONNA PAY THIS MAN THE MONEY AND GET MY HUSBAND BACK BC FRANKLY THEY COULD ASK FOR THE DEED TO SATURN AND I’D FIND A WAY TO GET IT FOR THEM

so robert RUNS OFF and works out how much money he has and just so we know

PEOPLE JUST SO WE KNOW

robert does not have enough money he spent that shit on legal fees trying to save his fuckin little crime-susceptible family

so robert, priorities in order (aaron > other things), goes to the only person he knows with fuck loads of dispensible cash

his mortal enemy for the three months that the show cared about that story

joseph loseph tate

NOW JOSEPH AND ROBERT’S ANTAGONISTIC RELATIONSHIP WAS, IF U WILL RECALL, BASED 99% ON THEIR OWN FUCKING DESIRE TO BE PROUD AND/OR SMUG IN ONE ANOTHER’S GENERAL DIRECTION

SURE THEY TRIED TO FUCK ONE ANOTHER OVER

BUT MOSTLY IT ALL BOILED DOWN TO JUST WANTING TO MAKE THE OTHER LOOK LIKE A LOSER

men are so dumb oh my godddd

AND LO THIS BRINGS US TO REASON NUMBER TWO WHY THIS STORYLINE IS PERFECT

2. robert puts aside all his fucking pride to save his husband

HE MARCHES UP TO JOE AND IS LIKE OK MAKE ME A FUCKING DEAL

JOE, BEING A LOVELESS DEMON, EXPLOITS THIS MOMENT FOR ALL HE CAN, DEMANDING BOTH ROBERT’S CUT OF HOME JAMES AND THE MILL, JUST BC HE ENJOYS THE IDEA OF BRINGING ROBERT NEEDLESSLY TO HIS KNEES AND TAKING AWAY ALL OF HIS POTENTIAL POWER

I SPENT HALF OF LAST WEEKEND WATCHING CUTTHROAT KITCHEN WITH @snowbasttien AND IF ANYTHING IT TAUGHT ME THAT MONEY IS POWER IF U KNOW HOW TO USE IT (AND THAT WHILE PEOPLE MAY COME INTO THE SHOW BELIEVING THAT THEY ARE A DOM, IF DADDY ALTON IS AROUND THEN NO ONE LEAVES A DOM)

JOE CUTTHROAT KITCHENED THIS BITCH TO HELL

AND ROB WAS JUST LIKE

YEP

WORTH IT

THUS GIVING US THING NUMBER THREE

3. robert has spent his entire adult life fighting for jobs that give him power and being incredibly invested in his own business(es) and he gave that all up in one fucking second for aaron’s life

LOOK THIS WHOLE STORYLINE WAS ABOUT ROBERT SACRIFICING ALL OF THE SHIT HE WORKED TOWARDS FOR HIS ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE FOR AARON’S SAFETY WITHOUT EVEN GIVING IT A SECOND THOUGHT, OR BEING RESENTFUL ABOUT IT, OR BEING UPSET ABOUT IT

HE DIDN’T CARE

ROBERT’S IDEAS OF WHAT POWER AND VALUE ARE MEAN NOTHING IN THE FACE OF WHAT AARON IS TO HIM

I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY EXPLAIN HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS IS IN CONTRAST TO EVERYTHING ROBERT USED TO BE

AARON CHANGED HIS WHOLE FUCKIN LIFE AND ROBERT WOULDN’T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY

ALSO HE MADE THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY HOMELESS

ROBERT, AARON AND TWO KIDS

WITH NO HOME

BECAUSE FRANKLY ROBERT DIDN’T STOP EVEN ONCE TO THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES BEYOND ‘AARON ISN’T GOING TO DIE’

dumbass

i’ve said this many times before and i’ll say it again: i love aaron but the mill has a beautiful side garden and a wine fridge.

i would have let that bitch die.

SO ROBERT

BC HE LOVES AARON AND LITERALLY JUST WANTED HIM BACK

AND HAD NO DESIRE TO RISK NOT FINDING THE MONEY BUT INSTEAD PURSUING A SNEAKIER PLAN TO SAVE HIM

SELLS HIS ENTIRE LIFE AN D SOUL TO JOSEPH AND GOES TO FIND AARON

he looks scared but luckily cain POPS A FUCKIN SHOTGUN OUTTA NOWHERE BC OF COURSE HE FUCKING DOES

COIRA ARE REALLY OUT HERE

DOING THE MOST

COIRA WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN THEMSELVES IN THIS SITUATION THAT’S FOR DAMN DIDDLY SURE

rob gets aaron back and loses his money, job and house all at once but he doesn’t even care he just wants to stand in this forest and grip onto aaron in peace and never let him go

THE NEXT DAY aaron has discovered exactly how robert managed to get so much money together at such short notice

and he’s NOT PARTICULARLY ABOUT IT because

aaron understands that the mill is perfect

aaron values his family having a home over his own life tbh

he also loves the wine fridge

HE AND ROBERT DISCUSS THIS AND AARON IS LIKE NOPE SORT IT THE FUCK OUT ROBERT IM NOT HAVING IT

WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN

WHICH IS FRANKLY FAIR!! BUT THEN!!!!

THEN WE GET TO THE SCENE WHERE ROBERT IS SIGNING OVER HIS SHIT TO JOE

AND AARON IS THERE

BUT HE’S NOT SAYING A DAMN WORD, HE’S JUST SITTING THERE SILENTLY IN SUPPORT OF ROBERT’S LUNACY

BC SOMETIMES BEING MARRIED MEANS BEING A UNITED FRONT

A LIL TEAM

EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T REALLY AGREE WITH WHAT’S HAPPENING, BUT HAVE SAID UR PEACE IN PRIVATE

SOMETIMES THAT’S A THING

JOE IS STANDING THERE BEING A SMUG AND SHIT BC HE’S WON~

AND ROBERT LOOKS MISERABLE AND READY TO SIGN AWAY HIS EVERY ASSET

AND THEN!!!!

and then joe makes a fuckin mistake

JOE LOOKS AT AARON, WHO IS SITTING IN A SILENTLY MENACING WAY PROBABLY, WATCHING THIS SHIT GO DOWN AND JOE IS LIKE

LOL IS UR DUMB ANIMAL BOYFRIEND TALK TO STUPID TO FORM SENTENCES

and like

robert ain’t about people insulting aaron in his presence

so he fuckin just

tears that contract up right there and then

and refuses to sign the mill over to joe

LEGIT IT JUST LIKE NOPE BIG MISTAKE FUCK U

and aaron

AARON POWER MOVE DINGLE

JUST SITS THERE SILENTLY AND SMILES

IT’S AN ICONIC MOMENT DONT FUCK WITH ROBRON OR THEY WILL LITERALLY KILL U THANKS FOR UR TIME

ANYWAY

THIS IS WHY OBJECTIVELY THIS STORYLINE IS PERFECT

BC IT’S ABOUT ROBERT BEING A LUNATIC FOR AARON

AND THAT KIND OF CONTENT FOR ROBRON ADDS YEARS TO MY LIFE

YEARS

IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT THESE SCENES?

LESSER

WORTHLESS

TERRIBLE

THANKS FOR LISTENING I HOPE U APPRECIATE THAT I AM IN FACT, IN THIS AND ALL THINGS

CORRECT.

THE END XOXO

#robron #i didnt even rewatch these eps to write this and i dont care #fact checking is for losers #and i as we have establish only win

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surrogateself · 6 years

Text

Star Wars The Last Jedi: How Movie Magic Dies

0.5 out 4 stars

This is a bad movie. There are barely any redeeming qualities, and it manages to take a huge dump on everything that came before it and everything that will come after it. If the first movie was about a “new hope”, then The Last Jedi is about “no hope at all”. And I say this not just as a fan of Star Wars, but as a fan of cinema in general, including the previous films from director Rian Johnson. Make no mistake, I am not alone on this, many feel the same way about this movie, but for the sake of this piece I will write solely on how this movie affected me personally, and to do that we have to go back to the beginning.

It was the fall of 1986 or maybe it was 1987, I don’t quite remember, but I think I was 7 years old. At this point I had a pretty good idea of what movies were, I had already seen both E.T. and Back to the Future. This time, however, the local tv network was announcing a Star Wars television event, all three original films were going to play continuously starting on a Sunday afternoon. The movies I’ve been hearing about from older people were going to be accessible to me. My cousin, who is 5 years older had a really cool collection of Star Wars toys, the original ones created by Kenner. I loved playing with them.

Watching the original trilogy at the age of 7 has become one of those memories that has never faded. I can’t tell you exactly how I felt in each particular scene, but I do remember where I was and I remember acting out some of the scenes between commercial breaks. Now, stop and think about that for a second. For a 7-year-old boy to be that engaged and excited it's almost magical. This is why Star Wars has transcended cinema and has become an iconic piece of pop culture. And at the center of this phenomenon stands one of the greatest hero archetypes ever created, Luke Skywalker.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Fast forward to 2017, and Luke Skywalker has been replaced by a weird parody version of himself. He’s an old hermit, who’s constantly angry, doesn’t give a fuck about the force, doesn’t give a fuck about his friends or family, and above all, is a complete coward. What happened? How did it come to this? Well, rather than dive into the complexity of these questions, writer/director Rian Johnson creates a half-baked excuse for his exile and concludes that he simply left everything to go die in some planet that contains the oldest Jedi temple. And thus we are exposed to this mess of a film.

But this isn’t how the movie opens, even though The Force Awakens ended in that very epic shot of Luke receiving his father’s lightsaber. The movie opens with some crap jokes and a battle in space that doesn’t really make a lot of sense, the ships are slow and they drop bombs in space…WTF? Ok, I get it, this is Star Wars and its meant to be fantasy, so let's have bombs that drop with no gravity and a remote detonator that also falls in space when the ship’s hatch is open. I accepted it, even the slow motion was welcomed. The problem is that literally 10 minutes later they blow the bridge of general Leia’s ship and she’s floating in space. So which one is it?… how does space work here?

I could end my review right there because everything that follows is these weird random moments that contradict or neglects what was said or happened a few scenes before. I’ll try to continue. So, after the space battle the rebels jump to light speed and vanish, but 5 minutes later the first order arrives and begins an assault that has Kylo Ren considering if he should kill his mom, and thus we get the scene I described before, followed by some force voodoo shit that Leia pulls off. Yes, we know the force is strong in her family but again, they never alluded to this kind of ability in any of the other films. So Leia is literally a god who cannot die in space, don’t question it, its meant to be meta… bro.

The rebels are stuck in this poor excuse for a plot, they have enough fuel for one jump but they can’t because they'll be tracked, so for the next few hours/days (there’s really no sense of time in this movie) they’ll fly with the big bad ship chasing them. Even though a few scenes before, the first order unleashed an assault that almost killed them, why isn’t the first order keep doing this until they’re wiped out? Well… maybe because they’re a bunch of morons, for example, General Hux is portrayed like a buffoon in this movie, while in the force awakens he was menacing and almost had this Nazi behavior about him. But in The Last Jedi, he’s become a character from Space Balls and that only ruins the movie because he ceases to be a threat.

After Finn wakes up from his coma, in what looks like a giant leaking condom, he notices the situation that they’re in, and rather than join the fight, he once again decides to make a run for it. However, his character arc already demonstrated that in the previous movie, he was a trooper than ran because he was scared but developed courage to go up against Kylo Ren and The First Order. Now he’s reverted back to being a coward?… I don’t know why they did this, perhaps it was to build the scene where he meets Rose Tico or what has become the most pointless character in cinema. The entire scene when she meets Finn is awkward and written horribly. But she’s there and she knows what’s causing the first order to track them and suddenly Finn knows too. Then, they communicate this to Poe who then decides to call Maz Kanata, and she tells them to go to the nearby planet where they’ll find a codebreaker that will help them infiltrate the enemy ship to deactivate the light speed tracker. FUCK… I’m pretty sure that’s a run on sentence. This movie is so frustrating that writing a review for it is painful, and that’s how watching the movie feels. I won’t get into this part of the movie because it really doesn’t amount to anything.

So... Luke Skywalker, lol. While all this non-sense with Finn and Rose is happening we get cuts back and forth between Rey and Luke on the island. There’s no training but rather 1 and a half lesson that Rey gets from Luke. She then begins to telepathically connect with Kylo via the force, so at this point, I’m thinking they’re siblings since Luke and Leia did that in Empire, but I’m not sure that’s the case. To be frank, at this point I don’t care. We are now two movies into a new trilogy that follows another trilogy where the heroes won and defeated evil. Yet we have no information about how the first order started or where Snoke appeared from. And to give Luke “fucking” Skywalker this role is just a fuck you to everyone that has enjoyed these films. The man barely knew anything about his evil father and he was ready to die to save him. He gets a quick glimpse of his nephew’s dark side and has a thought of killing him??? Sorry, I don’t buy it. That’s not Luke and even if it was, the reasons for his exile would have to be much more dramatic than that.

This decision in the writing is bad, just as bad as giving Batman a gun or making Harry Potter a rapist. It simply doesn’t make sense with the behavior of the character. Mark Hamill said it himself, and a good director should’ve listened. As for Snoke getting killed and the matter of Rey’s parents, sure it was a wasted opportunity and no, it wasn’t mind-blowing. I wasn’t one of those people that started to theorize, I just wanted a solid movie. Also, to all those defenders out there that are claiming that this movie was feminist and it was about women power, you’re all wrong. Let me break it down for you, Leia, Holdo, and Rose were all written in such a forced matter that you can feel their propaganda behind their actions. Yes, its good to be feminist, but do it with respect, make it part of an engaging story. For example Rey, during the Force Awakens, she was introduced as an independent strong young woman, who happens to fall into this larger than life adventure. But in the Last Jedi she was written off as the girl from Twilight, suddenly she has to help the boy, and suddenly she finds him attractive because of his nipples. I’m sorry but this is the opposite direction of feminism.

The Last Jedi is the mutant child of Empire and Return of the Jedi. Nothing in this movie works, even at its very last few minutes when I said to myself “if they pull off a great battle between Kylo and Luke I may forgive everything that happened before”. But that was once again a let down, Luke pulls off some Matrix moves and its revealed that he is actually not there but still stuck on the island from Lost, then he looks at the two suns on the horizon, much like in A New Hope and then he vanishes, I guess becoming one with the Force. The scene felt rushed and out of place; I wonder if Mark Hamill even knew that it was going to go down this way. But fuck it, that’s it for me. The last Star Wars movie I watched was Revenge of the Sith. For all the shit the prequels get, I still enjoy watching them, sure they’re flawed, but never to the degree of this garbage. If you had asked me back in November I would have said The Force Awakens is the last Star Wars movie I watched. But The Last Jedi is so bad that it ruined the movie that came before it.

#Star Wars #The Last Jedi #Movie #Review

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

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A Definitely Incomplete List Of My Favorite Moments From The Lightning Thief (book), because I'm having Feelings

Percy very causally mentioning times he accidentally hit a school bus with a canon or dropped fifth graders into shark-infested water

Grover Underwood

Just everything he’s ever done

Percy running an illegal candy ring out of his dorm room

“I was worried they found out I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the internet and were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.”

When Percy thought Grover was going to give him some deep, meaningful commentary on life to make him feel better but Grover just wanted Percy’s lunch

Percy tried so hard to do well on his Latin final and Chiron somehow thinks it’s a good idea to tell him he’s ‘not normal’ in front of the class my poor boy

That one part where Percy essentially went “Oh hey mom’s home!!! Better reschedule this panic attack I was having!!”

When Percy did that weird hand sign (that was never explained) and the door slammed on Gabe so hard he flew up the steps

The fact that when Grover finally tracked Percy down he wasn’t wearing any pants. Like, there was literally no reason for him to not have the fake feet and the jeans on. No actual reason for him to be free balling it. Percy just needed a shock apparently. Showing up in the middle of a hurricane with no pants, dramatic ass satyr I love him.

The SATISFYING DEATH of Gabe’s Camaro + Sally apparently learned bullfighting just in case because she truly is the best mom

Percy killing the minotaur with its own horn

Percy dragging Grover over the camp line while crying for his mom literally end me

“You drool when you sleep.” could we get more iconic here

Percy teasing Annabeth about her crush on Luke

When Luke stole some toiletries for Percy and he got a little choked up because it was apparently the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him

The fact that Chiron basically told Annabeth that Percy was her destiny

The fact that a recovering alcoholic god of wine who hates children was deemed fit to run a camp for children

Not so fun: Percy, upon meeting Mr. D, immediately recognizing the signs of an alcoholic and going out of his way to sit far away from him ‘just in case’

The fact that everyone just expected him to hear ‘the greek gods are real’ and move on?? why would no one let this boy be in shock omg

Zeus apparently had a thing for the fluffy 80′s hairstyles

“the real world is where the monsters are”

The fact that Poseidon could have claimed Percy at literally any moment but he apparently decided he really needed that dramatic reveal during capture the flag.

When Zeus was feeling Extra Dramatic(tm) after Percy’s claiming so he started making it rain inside the camp boarders and everyone was lowkey freaking out

When Annabeth pulls off her invisible cap and declares she’s going on the quest with him and Percy was like, beyond unsurprised that she was there and didn’t even attempt to fight her

Chiron forgot to give Percy a sword from his father for like, an entire month.

Grover with those freaking flying shoes oh my God

Annabeth blushing literally any time Luke talks to her

IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE AND RESPECT ARGUS, HEAD OF CAMP SECURITY

lmao when Percy and Annabeth start bickering about something and Argus just winks at Percy because he knows

When they were playing hackey sack with an apple but it got too close to Grover’s mouth and he just ate the whole thing

The entire bus scene oh my God

“I was about to become the ADHD Poster Child of the Year” as he’s CRASHING A BUS

Annabeth on a fury’s back

the explosion. just. all gr8.

When Grover tries to play a path finder song and Percy just immediately slams into a tree. Also the fact that the path finder song was actually just a Hillary Duff number.

“You two are giving me a migraine, and satyr's don’t even get migraines!”

Percy actually, truly trying to sell the story that the three of them are circus orphans who got separated from their ringleader

Grover: hey guys this place is REALLY SHADY and we need to leave

Annabeth and Percy: but f o o d

Can you imagine walking into a store and finding your dead uncle’s body on display? Like????

When Medusa revealed herself and Annabeth’s running around invisible, Percy’s swinging a sword blindly and Grover’s flying around screaming and trying to whack her with a stick: everyone here is a MESS

When Annabeth was overly annoyed with Percy after that ordeal??? Sweetheart you fell for the trick too

Name something more iconic than 12 year old Percy Jackson mailing the decapitated head of Medusa to the gods on Mt. Olympus in an act of sheer pettiness. I dare you.

When Percy was insisting on taking first watch while the others slept and Grover was basically like “hey kiddo listen to this” and played a song that immediately knocked him out so he could sleep all night

“Percy. Say hello to the poodle.”

Percy seeing all the Greek creatures from the train window

When Annabeth was dragging the boys to the St. Louis Arch and Percy’s claustrophobic ass Did Not Want To Get In That Tiny Elevator but he went anyway because he wanted Annabeth to be happy. That boy has had it bad since the start.

“I am Echidna!”

“Isn’t...isn’t that a type of anteater?”

“I HATE AUSTRALIA.”

How many times has Percy actually been poisoned throughout all the series I literally want a count

‘Lemme just, uh....jump off the fucking St. Louis Arch and hope I don’t die when I hit the water.’

There is just something very aesthetic about Percy lighting a fire in the bottom of a river

Percy’s got so much pent-up rage that he’s just immediately ready to wreck Ares upon meeting him omfg

THE THRILL RIDE O’ LOVE

Annabeth getting so worked up and flustered over going down there with Percy because it’s a love ride and Percy’s just like “you literally do not have to make this a Thing” lmao

Annabeth wouldn’t let Percy touch Aphrodite’s scarf because she didn’t want him getting infected by love magic but then...touched it herself lol

The entire sequence with the mechanical spiders and the cameras and the ride itself

Percy’s plan to get off the ride!!!! He’s so smart okay can people stop calling him stupid!!!

Grover trying to catch them both in mid-air but they‘re too heavy so the three of them just kind of slowly crash into one of those face-cut-out posters lol

Percy, turning to the camera’s broadcasting this shit on Olympus: “Show’s over! Thank You! Goodnight!”

THE FUCKING ZOO BUS

Everything about that scene omg. The animals they had to help. Trying to convince Grover of how great he is. The baby percabeth. my h e a r t

“What if it does line up like the Trojan War? Athena versus Poseidon?”

“I don’t know what my mom will do. I just know I’ll be fighting next to you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my friend, Seaweed Brain, any more stupid questions?”

Do you hear that sound? That’s me, ages 13-21(+) sobbing uncontrollably oh my God I love them so much

‘let’s just set a fucking lion loose in Las Vegas’

“I put a Blessing of the Wild on them, so they’ll safely find food and shelter wherever they go.”

“Why can’t you put on of those on us?”

“It only works on wild animals.”

“So it would only effect Percy...”

“HEY!”

When they get to the Lotus hotel and Grover starts playing that game where the deer shoot the hunters azxjhnhdjx

Percy physically having to drag his friends out of there once he realized it was the lair of the lotus eaters

When Annabeth gave the taxi driver her lotus credit card and he started calling her “Your Highness” lmao

Every time in this book Percy comes close to uncovering a Dark Truth the people around him are just like “let’s not worry about that :) “ and my polite boy actually shuts up it’s so wild because I would just keep going lol

CRUSTY THE WATER BED SALESMAN

Listen that entire scene has lowkey always been one of my Favs and I’m not even sure why but Percy chopping his head off was g r e a t

The entrance to the Underworld is DOA Recording Studios and I love it

“We, uh...all drowned in a bathtub.”

Poor Charon just wants his Italian suits he doesn’t need all this bullshit

Grover almost getting dragged into Tartarus: not good. very bad. bad shit.

Annabeth getting emotionally attached to Cerberus in the span of 3 minutes: RELATABLE

‘huh my backpack that I thought I got rid of five days ago is getting weirdly heavy, that’s not suspicious though, right?’

When Hades just starts monologue-ing about all the shit he has to put up with

“what kind of awful things do you have to do to get sewn into Hades underwear?” p e r c y

when Percy realizes the Master Bolt is in his backpack and he’s just like. tell me why. why. I’m a good person. what did I DO.

When Percy has to sacrifice his mom to get Annabeth and Grover out of there I Cri Evey Tiem

My cute lil’ baby yelling around on a beach to get Ares to show up

ahdbsjznx when Grover gives Percy a crushed, half eaten tin can for good like and Percy is just like “Grover...I don’t know what to say.” I LOVE HIM

My sweet son kicking the god of war’s ass. bless. blessed on this day.

The news crews who suddenly started backtracking and writing Percy as a hero

Percy, choking back tears, giving Gabe’s store’s phone number out on national television and promising everyone free appliances IM STILL CACKLING I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH HE’S ICONIC

Hades actually releasing Sally because he’s Not As Big Of A Dick As He Could Have Been

Percy: hey I think there’s a really good chance that Kronos was behind this whole mess-

Zeus and Poseidon: XXX KRONOS DO NOT INTERACT XXX

Poseidon rolling his eyes at literally everything Zeus says and does

Poseidon and Percy’s whole talk omg my sweet boy just wants his dad to love him and Poseidon’s trying to figure out how to show affection when he basically signed this kid’s death sentence I’m crying

A man will never satisfy me as much or in the same way as Sally Jackson murdering Gabe Ugliano did

Percy was spending months of summer stressing over who the friend that’s supposed to betray him was but like...Sweetie you had exactly three (3) friends and you knew two of them weren’t gonna hurt you

ahbdjsnx when Percy and Luke were having their conversation in the woods and like Luke’s acting shady af the whole time but it’s literally not until he litters that Percy is like “something...is Wrong.” this boy I s2g

Percy getting bit by a scorpion is Not A Favorite Moment but the nymphs helping him out was

Percy making his Official Decision to go home for the school year only after Annabeth reveals that he actually did talk her into trying again with her family

I didn’t mean to write out a summary of the whole damn book it’s six am listen I’m just feeling nostalgia for the original series in this chili’s tonight

whoops

#the lightning thief #pjo #percy jackson #Annabeth chase #grover underwood #molly mumbles

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stabigail · 6 years

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11 questions meme

1tagged by @myrkks, tagging....... @pentaughast @ghoste-catte @beamkatanachronicles anyone who wants to ig :V

1. how would you describe your writing style or “voice” as a writer?

HONESTLY i still feel like i’m growing into my style, lol! and i often feel inconsistent, but i think part of that is a lack of confidence, still, forever #justwritingproblems. being more realistic, i would say that i tend to write from a very firm point of view and my narrators tend to be quite unreliable; i also tend to focus a lot on sensory details. generally i’m very much a stream of consciousness writer! it’s what i love 2 do.

2. do you prefer to write in first person, second person, or third person, and why? which tense do you prefer?

it depends on what i’m working on, and i definitely flip-flop some, but i almost always write in third person. for me, first person works really well for Very Unreliable Narrators who are trying to skew their story in a certain light, or for stories that are literally one person talking to other people. i love love love first person in podcasts! alice isn’t dead is probably my favorite podcast that utilizes first person, and i really love the depth of emotion that it conveys as a result, so i am more likely to us first person for projects like that.

generally, though, i struggle with first person because it limits narration in a way that i struggle with at times. second person kind of creeps me out as a writer because i feel like a soulbonder?? WHICH IS NOT A KNOCK ON SECOND PERSON, i think it makes for beautiful work, but it’s just not for me. so 3rd person limited is my favorite and has been for a while!

as for tense, i used to write exclusively in past tense but now i write exclusively in present tense and i couldn’t even tell you why. is it because the focus on the present makes for more dynamic writing? is it because i’m pretentious? is it both? likely.

3. what is one thing that inspires/motivates you as a writer these days?

oh man haha . . . spite . . . no not really, it’s a little spite but more feeling a lack and a motivation to fill it! my original work right now is based around a lot of feelings i have about both personal and global uncertainty, and while it isn’t a political piece at all, i’ve definitely found motivation to explore topics that i wish were easier to talk about. when it comes to fandom stuff, it’s usually “i love this pairing, but i never see work for it” or “i love this pairing, but i wish there was more diversity of work around it,” because i like filling gaps and also just always fall for pairings few other people care about. i’m also deeply motivated to write character exploration pieces for fandom because holy shit, nothing makes me happier than picking apart a character’s motivations and rearranging them in a new form. i’m the sylar of other people’s characters.

that being said, sometimes my motivation is “why are there only like 2 smut fics of this lesbian pairing and 238974293874 of this pairing of 2 dudes” and that is spite and i’m not sorry for it.

4. what is one of your strengths as a writer?

uhh,,,, i think i have a good attention to detail? is that a cop-out answer? maybe. i have a good grasp of figurative language, i think, and i actually am quite proud of that now that i think about it. i used to write super purple prose, and through the past few years i’ve been able to really neaten my writing up so that it’s . . . still flowery! always will be! not sorry! but it’s not overbearingly so, and the figurative language i use enhances the story rather than drowning it. shoutout to @pentaughast who has been writing with me for like five years and giving me feedback until my writing stopped being a horrible disaster thicket of metaphors, you’re a pal.

5. what is something you’d like to improve about your writing?

(rolls out scroll)

no but seriously: my number one thing to improve right now is learning to stop editing while i write. every writer is their own worst critic, but i will literally write half a sentence and then go back and change the whole thing, because i’m convinced that everything has to be Perfect the First Time. which is in fact a microcosm of my entire personality. so, anne, don’t edit while you write! also, your first draft is not your final draft! i don’t feel a need to just barf out a certain number of words per writing session, but i do think it’ll benefit me to have momentum and iron out kinks later.

6. what is one genre you enjoy writing in, and why?

hmmm this is interesting because genre is such a broad and subjective thing. that said: urban fantasy is and has always been my jam! i wouldn’t say i’m particularly good at it simply because 1) it is a super vague genre with few hard and fast rules, so i’m not sure how much of my stuff is urban fantasy even, and 2) i’ve been struggling a lot with writing original stuff over the past few years, which is where i have written urban fantasy stuff in the past.

overall i enjoy writing in fantasy or fantasy/sci-fi most of all genres, but never high fantasy because it causes me physical agony. aspects of f/sf i like a lot are basically f/sf as a mirror to our world or otherwise connected to our world (without necessarily using f/sf components as a substitution for actual discussion of oppression cuz, nah,) as well as f/sf as satire, that is my FAVE. discworld (t. pratchett) was the first fantasy series i really locked onto and it was v formative, obviously; also gaiman, stiefvater, jemisin. this question was not about my influences but too bad here they are!!!!!!!!!!

7. what would be the biggest compliment someone could give you about your writing?

the biggest, biggest compliment would be: while i was reading this, i forgot the world existed. because that has always been the biggest thing for me as a reader! the way reading can just take you somewhere, so no matter how shitty things might be in your actual situation, you can just take a break from that and follow bilbo around, or whatever. another really excellent compliment that i actually have gotten (both in writing fic and rp) is “i can hear their voice,” either in narration or dialogue. that’s huge! and it makes me really happy to hear. basically i would love for my writing to be an immersive experience for people, and that’s what i’m always striving to improve.

8. what is one piece of advice you’d give someone experiencing writer’s block or feeling stuck with their writing?

READ

idk, for me, fighting my writer’s block literally does not work. just staring at a piece of paper or a computer screen makes me upset and frustrated. reading, though, is both enjoyable and relatively passive; you don’t have to come up with ideas, you just have to take in someone else’s. as a writer, too, you can read both as an audience member and as a fellow writer observing. what does this author do that works or doesn’t? how does this style work in this context where it might not in another? how does it relate to your style? etc.

more generally, do something nice for yourself cuz sometimes that will boost your creative spirit. self-care is huge!

9. what is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you started writing?

lskdjfskld uh . . . don’t follow any of the advice people give you because most of it either only works for specific people or is entirely bullshit? i suppose more specifically i wish someone had been more supportive of fantasy/sci-fi as a legitimate genre with meaning, although of course that is a societal view rather than a specific one that surrounded me as a kid. it’s shitty, though, because until fairly recently i viewed the type of writing i enjoyed as “less than”/less meaningful than like, i don’t know, anything written by racist old dead white guys.

also, young adult fiction is fucking valid and doesn’t make you a less “serious” writer. i, a Fucking Grown Up, am still most captivated by YA fiction because there are fewer restrictions on it and writers tend to experiment more and, most importantly, because stories about transformation and trying to figure out who you are will never not be compelling.

10. what is a common piece of writing advice you disagree with, and why?

rubs hands together

one: write what you know. what the fuck is that, i want to know who came up with it because fuck? you??? definitely it’s fine to write about things that you have a personal perspective about, or to write in a way that reflects your worldview or emotions or whatever. but write what you know is literally the stupidest, most limiting garbage, and i have met so many grown ass adults who believe in it so strongly. curse that mess.

two: you must construct x type of work in y format following z formula. a lot of times this is really great and works well for people, but other times it can be, again, really limiting. beginning-middle-end is great, but even that can be inappropriate for certain stories, depending on what they are? for me, strictly following writing formulas made me overly focused on “”accuracy”” and less focused on writing what i enjoyed.

three: this one isn’t quite as cut and dry as the previous two, but: write protagonists that people can relate to. here’s the thing: i feel like this often gets translated to “protagonists that are charmingly aware of their own assholeishness, totally perfect and always right, or bland,” and it’s kind of a shitty trap to fall into? this is another reason i love unreliable narrators, bcause you can have that nuance and imperfection without the entire story being about how shitty the character is. their imperfection is part of the story and perhaps even a driving force, but they aren’t just sort of a paper cutout used to drive the story along. hello i’m anne and i struggle writing protagonists.

11. what writing projects are you working on these days?

excited buzzing. a couple! i am really shy about talking about original stuff, but i am working on scripts for (tentatively) a podcast about a very apathetic and cynical gal who is one of a very few survivors of a series of natural disasters and also may?be the one who made them happen. Whoopsie.

fanfiction-wise, i am working on finishing . . . christ on a raft let me count. four! one-shots. there’s a fifth one that i wrote 10k words of in like 2015 and still haven’t finished and i don’t know if i’ll trash it or not lol. regardless, i am working on those! there is a fic that i started working on a while back that was meant to be a multi-chapter fic called reverse about giorno tripping into vampirism and fugo having 0 idea what to do about it; i’ve let it dangle for ages, but i am slowly fleshing out the plot again and getting it going. i’m very excited to do this! i love giorno having to figure out how to vampire and i love fugio.

finally, @relares and i are starting to work on a reset fugiomis fic which, weeps into tea, will kill us both.

#writing meme #writing #??? i dont know what else to tag this i never do memes help

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evenstevensranked · 6 years

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#22: Season 3, Episode 17 - “Snow Job”

In order to get out of an Algebra midterm, Louis fakes a snow day outside of Principal Wexler's house and gets himself suspended from school. Meanwhile, Ren has one week to master Pole Vaulting after accidentally injuring LJH’s best athlete. Phyllis Diller guest stars!

This one opens with the gang in Mr. Lopez’s algebra class. We’ve never seen or heard of Mr. Lopez before, but he seems pretty cool imo. Like one of those teachers who genuinely cares about his students. I really like his character. This first scene is a montage of Twitty, Tawny and Louis up at the board. Twitty and Tawny are solving their equations at the speed of light, whereas Louis is constantly getting tripped up. I’m already relating to Louis so bad. When it’s time for them to share their answers, Twitty and Tawny seem like Einstein’s spawn in comparison to Louis, who drew a map of Utah:

Louis attempts to explain how he worked out the equation, but obviously.. he has no idea. He glances at the clock and sees there’s only, like.. 30 seconds until the bell rings. So he stalls in the most glorious way possible: “I got 2x + 7x to the 5th times Y........ to which I say.... why not? Why do fools fall in love? These are all very big questions.” I love this quote so much. Of course, the bell rings and he successfully dodges answering.

Mr. Lopez knows that Louis is struggling and really wants him to ask for help on his own. He subtly extends that invitation by asking if anyone has any questions because “the only stupid questions are the ones you ask yourself on the bus ride home” -- Which is incredibly true and another quote I really like. Louis seems as if he’s genuinely gonna ask a question but then says “...If a chicken had lips, could it whistle? I’ll ask myself on the bus ride home.” -- It’s funny, but also really really upsetting. Mr. Lopez is super disappointed and so am I. There’s also this girl in the classroom who really hates Louis or something. She dramatically shakes her head all annoyed and complains to the kid behind her whenever Louis says anything. It’s actually a little distracting, lol. Keep an eye out for her next time you watch this episode.

The disappointment is palpable.

Then it cuts to the subplot where Ren is interviewing some of LJH’s athletes for the Wombat Report. Including some girl Olga who’s “the best 9th grade pole vaulter in Sacramento” -- Which confirms that Lawrence Jr. High goes up to 9th grade!! I think that’s the only time in the entire series they actually say the words “ninth grade”! Ren also calls the upcoming competition they’re preparing for “the big meet.” I’m sure Louis would object to this.

Ren interviews the fantastic Artie Ryan, who makes an appearance as a shot putter lol. He’s apathetic and deadpan as usual (”Buzz off, I’m training.”) which is great. Ren gets the bright idea to try heaving the ball herself... and breaks Olga’s foot. Ouch. Phyllis Diller makes her brilliant cameo as Coach Corns here! Something that always annoyed me is that IMDb lists the character’s last name as “Korns” but the inscription on her jacket is “Corns” lol. I’m assuming the jacket is the legit spelling. I also saw on Twitter a while ago that Phyllis’ cameo happened because Jim Wise was absent and working at MADTV at the time. Anyway, Ren decides to fill in for Olga at the competition even though she has no idea how to pole vault. Coach Corns is skeptical but says “if you’re anything like your brother Donnie, maybe you can learn by Friday!” Donnie is seriously the be-all end-all in the Even Stevens-verse.

We get few scattered scenes throughout the episode of Ren practicing pole vaulting over and over again, failing at making it over the bar every time. Including one where “Coach Corns” demonstrates how it’s done, which is hilarious and obviously a stunt double of course.

Much like last week’s episode, they put zero effort into trying to avoid showing the face of the stunt double lol. It honestly makes it funnier.

After countless failed attempts, Artie walks over and says “You know that you’re supposed to go over the bar, right?” And Ren bites back sarcastically “Really, Artie?! Thanks for that helpful hint.” I can’t help but laugh every time. Ren insists she’ll be ready for competition and Artie mumbles to himself “Yeah, and I’ll be the king of Norway.” It’s so good.

Louis’ plot continues with this scene, which I love:

It’s not included in this set, but in between the second and third photos Twitty says “And like, she was not a very good babysitter...” LOL. Yeah, I doubt she’d have stellar reviews on Care.com today.

Twitty and Tawny go on to talk about how Mr. Lopez’s class is so fun and he makes learning algebra so easy and they’re totally gonna ace the midterm!! YAY! ....You just know Louis is feeling like an outsider right about now. Tawny tries to set up a study session, but Louis bails to work incredibly hard on a way to not take the test. We’ve been over this before. If Louis spent a fraction of the amount of time and effort he spends on avoiding schoolwork, he would be an honors student. It’s ridiculous because half of the inventions he comes up with must involve some serious math skills! He’s putting in the work where it doesn’t count lol. And he really goes to extremes this time. He gets Beans to help him with this super elaborate prank to fake a snow day... in Sacramento California... outside of Principal Wexler’s house. He even did that thing where you can override a vacant radio station and recited a whole fake news story on the historic “blizzard.” The craziest part about this, is that he was 99% successful! Wexler totally bought that the storm was legit. And I don’t blame him:

Imagine not wanting to take a midterm that bad.

There’s some great miscommunication here when Wexler calls LJH to cancel school. The secretary is all “may I ask why?” lol. Seriously. Gotta love miscommunication. Louis almost sorta gets away with everything, until Ren jogs by the house and starts yelling at him and Wexler hears it through the radio. I never used to understand why Ren was out jogging though? It always felt like a biiiit of a forced plot device to me. I used to think “She’d already be at school or at home getting ready!” ...but today, I just realized -- she’s preparing for pole vaulting. Oh my god. I’m such an idiot. It’s funny because I thought I was catching onto some bad writing.. but no. Even Stevens is actually that good.

This “snow scam” leads to Principal Wexler suspending Louis from school. I love how it’s only a one week suspension, yet Wexler acts like Louis is leaving forever and has his locker cleaned out as if it’s a gateway to The Upside Down:

Eileen takes off work to homeschool Louis for the week, which is really nice to see. We get a montage of them covering just about every subject and Louis is breezing through the day with flying colors! They even did Theater, where Louis played both Romeo and Juliet. The one-man show costume is a sight to behold:

“It’s very constraining and I’d like to change now.”

Everything’s going well until Eileen drops the bomb “Okay! We’ve covered everything but Algebra!” and the dramatic, dark orchestra kicks in. Louis tries to get out it, but Eileen’s not letting him off the hook. She writes out an equation on the board and leaves him alone for awhile to complete it. When she returns, he’s asleep:

I RELATE TO THIS MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW. Louis is literally falling asleep during homework to avoid doing it. I did this so many times throughout my academic career and I doubt I’m the only one. It was always with math, too! It was so overwhelming for my little brain... I’d just drift off to sleep and think “Well, if I fall asleep... that’s an excuse for not finishing it!” lol. And I bet you anything that was Louis’ thought process as well. Eileen gives Louis an ultimatum (finish his homework or be grounded for the weekend) to motivate him to finish the equation, so he attempts to do it and pretty much pulls an answer out of his butt. I did this all the time. You sort of convince yourself that you got it right, even though deep down you know it’s totally wrong. “You got it, baby!!” Louis compliments himself. And right about then, Ren enters the room and verbalizes what Louis most likely already knows: “You got it totally wrong, Louis.” This leads to a really nice brother/sister moment.

Ren wants to know why he put so much effort into skipping one day of school, and he confesses that it’s because he doesn’t understand Algebra. “I’ll try to understand it, but I can’t. I’m the only kid in the class who doesn’t know what’s going on.” I’ve said those exact sentences a million times growing up. This whole scene is honestly so heart-wrenching imo. It further develops Louis’ character and adds to his endearingness. (Don’t even know if that’s a word, but I’m using it.) Ren can’t understand why he doesn’t just go to Mr. Lopez for help. “What’s the worst that could happen?” she asks, and Louis imagines a life of ridicule:

This is too real. You really do feel like you’ll be a total idiot if you ask for help during class. Even though the chances of your teacher and principal publicly mocking you are zero... you still feel like everyone will be secretly judging you.

I just can’t stress enough how much I relate to Louis here. His attitude towards struggling with academics is exactly how I felt. Like, no matter how hard you try... You're still the dumbest kid in class. He snaps out of his daydream and tells her “No, I can’t do it. People are gonna think I’m stupid.” And Ren says “Stupid? You may do some really stupid things sometimes but that doesn’t mean that YOU are stupid.” THIS IS SO FREAKING NICE I WANNA CRY LOL. She then empathizes with him by sharing her struggle with pole vaulting. It’s sweet.

When Louis returns to school, he’s determined to pay extra attention in Algebra class and really focus. But the second Mr. Lopez starts explaining, all Louis can hear is “blah, blah, blah... blah, blah..... blah, blah, blah.................. blah.” It’s hilarious because it’s TRUE. Mr. Lopez opens up the floor for any questions, and I swear to god. I get so emotional every time here. Louis raises his hand and takes a few seconds to muster up the confidence to say “I don’t understand.” .....*sheds a single tear.* Mr. Lopez says to catch up with him after school and Louis is so proud of himself for asking. Ahhhhhh!

Look at dat content face. Awww. Shia’s so great.

After school, Mr. Lopez explains that there’s usually a gap in the knowledge somewhere when it comes to struggling with Math. This is very accurate. I’ve learned that missing just one little building block of information (with anything in life) can mess you up entirely. So we get a montage of them working for what seems like hours on the basics (1 + 1 = 2) all the way through to Algebra and Louis does soooo well. It’s one of the sweetest, most self-reflecting moments in the series. Louis takes a look at all of the equations he successfully completed and mutters “Good job, Buddy” to himself and I just wanna weep. On top of that.. Mr. Lopez is super nice, calling Louis a genius and such. I just love it. It’s kinda funny how they tried to make the scene look all trippy like the equations were floating all around him just by writing on glass with a marker though, haha:

I also have to gif this because it reminds me of the confused math lady meme:

Seriously, can we make “Shia LaBeouf doing Algebra” a thing? Even Stevens is ripe with memes that never see the light of day.

Meanwhile, Ren is at the pole vaulting competition and, well... failing miserably. Just then Louis, Eileen and Steve show up and start running next to her during her very last try. Louis is gushing about being able to do Algebra and Eileen and Steve are just cheering her on haha. Louis shouts the advice “You might wanna put the stick thingy in the ground, Ren!” and then she miraculously makes it over the bar. I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS??? Um, where else could she have been putting it this whole time? And it’s not like that alone would help her get over the bar.

Clearly, the pole is meant to go in the metal space (”ground”)! You’re telling me she’s been practicing for a week and never put it there?!?! Come on.

Anyway, everyone celebrates and it’s a happy moment. Coach Corns also snatches her own wig and Louis puts it on:

Even Stevens was seriously ahead of the meme trend. Wigs were flyin’ on Disney Channel in 2002.

The episode ends with one of the greatest “last minute” bits ever. Ren made it over the bar... So, Artie Ryan becomes the king of Norway:

“I AM THE KING!” -- This show’s humor is unparalleled.

And that’s it! This is just an awesome episode. Obviously, I love this Louis plot. It’s seriously so great and one of the most relatable topics ever. (Well, for me at least.) Like I said, I feel like this episode is a really great one for Louis Stevens and his character development. Ren’s plot is pretty similar actually. Both plots work together in a “conceive it, achieve it” sort of way. I just really love it. Mr. Lopez is cool. Phyllis Diller is great. Artie Ryan is the best. It’s just good all around ok. This is definitely one of my personal favorites, but I objectively feel like there are some stronger episodes. So, #22 is where it sits.

Thanks for reading!

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