#they literally deserved it theyre canadian

[sp00kyfishh]

People in this fandom need to accept that every single character is a hedonistic asshole, even the good ones. Like the closest thing you will get to a soft little cinnamon roll uwu baby in south park is butters and even he is kind of a little maniac, like he tried to flood the entire world even if it was poorly executed 💀.

That being said I will defend Kyle Broflovski with my life, so what if he accidentally nuked Canada?

[mediumgayitalian]

fic rec friday 8

hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!

After The War I Went Back To New York by @buoyantsaturn

now that everyone else has written their three-days fics heres mine

first of all -- hamilton title. giggle was giggled. second of all, will being soft on nico day ONE and nico noticing immediately is so so real. fave solangelo dynamic of all time. this is lichrally one of my top five three days fics bc its such a CLASSIC

2. Bones by @buoyantsaturn

“Did you just throw a handful of bones outside?” she asked carefully. “Yes,” Will answered immediately. “Why was there a pile of bones in here in the first place?”

will being super excited over nico's powers >>>>>> literally EVERYTHING else bc he is a huge massive nerd!!! and will's powers are SO SO SO cool!! and theyre basically the same coin anyway. what is necromancy if not healing magic but goth

3. Sunshine and Daisies by @buoyantsaturn

Whenever Will needed a break from studying, or had spare time between classes, he liked to walk around the city, wandering into random shops and looking around for a little while.

Will wanders into the di Angelo siblings' flower shop.

flower shop fics have a little je ne sais quoi, and oumph, if you will,,, they’re irresistible. also. ALIVE BIANCA???? its nearly impossible to do in canonverse but in au....i do adore. she does indeed deserve to be around to tease the shit out of her dweeb brother. it is ever so lovely to see.

4. Two Minutes for Hooking by @buoyantsaturn

He blinked his eyes open, glaring up at Will. “Who the hell are you?” “I’m the medic you’ve been avoiding every practice,” Will answered. “Who the hell are you?”

I LOVE THIS AU. i think its my fave buoyantsaturn fic tbh. like not to reinforce canadian stereotypes or anything but hockey aus are the BOMB, and short king hockey player nico x absolutely takes no shit will??? immaculate vibes. i adore. i adore so so much. i have literally read this series so often that im reasonably certain i could recite the first 500 words from memory

5. Hey There, Darlin' by @buoyantsaturn

Will was pretty, and Nico was angry about it. He knew he shouldn’t have come here. He knew he should’ve just gone back to his cabin and stayed there until breakfast the next day, but no. He saw a cute boy and had to go after him. Of course he did. And then Will had to act like Nico was some kind of savior during the wars, and he smiled at him. That smile alone was enough to make Nico realize that this trip was a mistake.

first of all -- #everything is the same except will is the epitome and they dont meet until now is THEE most intriguing tag maybe ever, i needed to read no more. second of all -- whipped nico. god hes my favourite. third of all the big house scene made me GIGGLE it was so fun and silly. adore.

thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!

[budugaapologist]

my honest opinions of the ac games (theres only 4 good ones)

AC1: you cant pay me money to play this i do not care dude nothing in this interests me because of the mechanics in it. the only things i like from this game are maria and malik and calling altaïr altaïqueer other than that i dont give a shit.

AC2: not good. hype not deserved. combat system sucks as well as the parkour and thats like the selling point of the games.

Brotherhood: same as above; not good/hype not deserved. stalking isnt sexy btw.

Revelations: the only ezihoe game i "liked" but even then i just really hate ezio, id rather play as sofia.

Chronicles: i dont have a desire to play them though i do consider the china one. only problem is guess what fucking bitch is in it.

AC3: as an american the main story is the most boring thing ever. running around in the homestead and frontier is the only part that is good. the naval combat is dog shit.

Liberation: i cannot tell you what happens in the story. i have played this maybe four times. i dont remember anything but the beginning and end. it was fun to explore but the audio in the game is just bad. i think this would be cool as like a pixel game.

AC4 Black Flag: i still have dreams about this game. the story is very good and all of the side characters aside from burgess and cockram have their own rememberable characteristics. graphically its beautiful ecen on ps3 and with some really unconventionally attractive characters. the side content isnt overwhelming and the hacking is a nice change of pace from battling ships and taking forts. its genuinely super well balanced and edward is a relatable character. i would prefer more equality with the clothing on the male/female assassins since. well. either make them both whores or both prudes. but other than that its a great game, the naval combat isnt hard it just takes a few battles to practice. also you can play this game without any other prior ac experience, i know this because i did and i loved it on the first play through. ever since then every other ac game is disappointing aside from Syndicate and Origins.

Freedom Cry: if you so much as try to argue that this isnt worth playing i'll kill you. if you play r*gue and dont consider playing this i genuinely believe you are racist. playing AC4 i think that FC is mandatory after it. this is the only expansion i condone spending money on. im not spoiling anything. play the fucking game.

R*gue: its racist. i said what i said.

Unity: you know when pretty people have no personality? okay but now make that a game. i will reblog gifsets of this game but no. i will not play it again. also?? theyre not even french theyre british you tellin me a canadian company couldnt get french VAs?

Syndicate: literally so easy so stupid i love it. i feel so good at video games when i play it. i recommend it to people a lot because its "inclusive" (i feel more indian people wouldve been nice. also a lot of the women are just evie 2) and its easy to relate to either jacob or evie. the story isnt that great but its fun to follow along with anyway and the side content isnt super overwhelming. i love how gross they made london look its a great touch.

Origins: i also recommend this one. basically i only recommend AC4, FC, Syndicate, and Origins. i find the drama of this one real good, its a revenge story that is compelling especially if you have a kid or have dealt with child loss. the second game to ever make me shocked after a death (first was ac4 with thatch). i also love the fights with the gods and i really love the african biome and i think its super overlooked in media, i think more rpg games set in african-esque areas would be cool. honestly the only thing that keeps me from playing this game over is i always get busy halfway through a playthrough. also that one elephant mission terrified me. i think about kensa and khaliset and taharqa and shadya a lot.

Odyssey: when it comes down to it this game is boring. idk what you want me to say its really boring. lgbt cash grab. way overhyped, its not that interesting and theres just too much in the game. it suffers from prioritizing quantity over quality. sure theres some great lines in the game and a few okay characters but a lot of if not all the characters are one dimensional and bland, as well as the movements and facial expressions. i think the ac franchise shouldve been wrapped up in origins, this wouldve worked better alone.

Valhalla: ugh where to begin... i couldnt even get halfway through this game. this is just Skyrim without the dragons and todd howard. and what is Skyrim without todd? boring and uneventful, apparently. why on earth are we able to change history so much in a game franchise that was originally about reliving history? just make the main character a woman if theyre supposed to be one, like in odyssey, the "having an option to be a man" is so fucking stupid. if being a female character makes AAA games unsellable riddle me Horizon Zero Dawn and Tomb Raider. this should have been a spin off game or a stand alone project.

anyway, those are my thoughts. no, i will not being playing any new ac games. at this point the only ac games i dont have blocked in my tag sections are black flag, liberation, origins, and syndicate (and unity but thats because i do enjoy looking at it. pretty but no personality, like i said).

if youve never played an AC game before, the only ones you should play if youre interested are black flag, freedom cry, syndicate, and origins, in that order or with syndicate first, though seeing as freedom cry and origins are very heavy games having a stupid one in the middle can help balance the anger and tears.

for those that have played ac games, obviously this is my opinion and you may have other opinions, but i dont honestly care, no arguing that 'actually blah blah is a good game' on this post im not gonna listen, make your own post ♡. im pretty fed up with most of the stuff that comes out of the franchise anyway.

at the end of the day, play what you want and dont ;) pirate the four ac games i recommend if you are interested in them that would be sooo bad haha ;).

[dreamhot]

maybe its a canadian thing bc ive never heard anyone talk abt them but theyre literally flaming hot just better. flaming hot spicy for no reason, jalapeno spicy for a Purpose

EXACTLY... i did straight up mail a bag to my partner in the uk so that he could try them LMAO everyone deserves to know the joy of jalapeno cheetos

[lydah]

reminder that target is not a remotely progressive company no matter what everyone says

and while they are supportive of lgbt rights they have their workers even more understaffed than walmart and crunch time is the norm within their stores

they also shut down their canadian branch due to threats of unionizing

while they increased their starting wages they ran everyones hours into the ground so everyone is actually making less than they used to

theyre literally just a cherry version of walmart and they dont deserve any higher support

[taco-slap]

so interesting that anti vaxxers are talking about how the government has no right to control our bodies?? like that's not what the government has been doing for decades? did these people just get critical thinking skills? 

because idk about you but I'm still upset about a lot of things the government does. They can protect violent anti vax rioters but not peaceful BLM protesters? I'm still upset about the whole police system and prison system.  I’m still upset about the whole pharmaceutical business ? Or how disabled people have a capped income but billionaires don't? The government literally decides whether or not you can get an abortion, which medical procedures they will cover because they are life saving or not, and how often you can be sick without getting fired? 

The government is literally telling people right now that their jobs are more important than their lives. AND they have been saying this for decades. but youre upset about vaccinations? In Ontario your kid had to be vaccinated to go to school?? is that not also the government controlling your body? 

youre upset that theyre making you get vaxxed so people stop dying but youre not asking why these government officials aren’t playing by the same rules? The governement can shut down the whole country but they can’t tell you how much you owe them in taxes? They can spend millions on bullshit but not on getting fresh water to indigenous communities ? 

The canadian Primeminister can march in a climate change march but he cant do anything about the amount of electricity and fresh water we waste? because we waste the most out of any other country in the world. 

You’re allowed to be mad at the government. They deserve it. But you’re getting mad about the wrong things.  

[gaysols]

last night i accidentally sent @xukns 78 texts talking about the olympics

i have decided to put my thoughts here so i can spam them and put them out into the universe without spamming her phone bc i need to talk hockey with someone and everyone is asleep

everyone is free to read my bullshit

pls enjoy me watching japan vs sweden womens hockey

any time an athlete is canadian born im on their team @ japan u have a fan make me proud

japan hasnt ever won an olympic hockey game i rlly hope this is their time tbh i love a good underdog

ive played on the olympic ice surface in calgary and let me tell u the ice surfaces are so big they looks like little ants

team japan is so cute they give their goalie hugs and pats on the head whenever she does something

yikes 1-0 sweden it was a good shot tho like that took some skill i dont know how anyone could save that rough deal for japan

my dog is sitting on my foot and i can feel her heart beating on said foot and its a weird feeling

lmao a japanese player almost took out the ref yikes but they get a power play now fuk u sweden ur not supposed to trip people

they keep playing kpop between plays i dig this

yikes some of these japanese players need to work on their stride bc theyre fast but their technical skill is sloppy they need to extend and they could be so much faster

ooh the swedish centerman just blocked a shot that looked like it hurt but it was a good block

sweden is literally standing still behind the net go fuckign get her 

yeah sweden has some good speed too frick this is a fast game

oh shit japan has some good passing skills 

sweden is a lot more experienced and the better team, but japan has so much passing skill their passing game is so impressive

awe team canada is in the audience

i wonder if team canada had to buy tickets or if theyre allowed in to watch because theyre competitors

oooh great save by the japanese goalie

tHERE WAS ALMOST A FIGHT IN FRONT OF THE NET

lmao japan was totally offside but thats okay ill forgive them

tHEYRE PLAYING TONIGHT BY BIGBANG im boppin

this is supposed to be a no hit game but there is some chippy shit happening against the boards

oh shit japan almost scored that was close

im crying the canadian member of japan’s team is by far their best player shes from alberta too coincidence i think not

sweden’s goalie is on fire

japan has had possession for most of this period, they just can generate anything and id ont know if thats because their forwards are bad or swedens defense are too good

lmao the refs are american thats why theyre not calling any body contact shit 

okay again; why the fuck is wayne gretzky in this ad he played in one olympics and lost

this is a well matched game tbh japan has had so many really good scoring chances

oh shit osawa had a nice breakaway 

japan needs to shoot harder tbh bc those’ll go through

JAPAN JUST MADE ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING SAVES IVE EVER SEEN FUCK

that was a great first period frick

lmaoooo the graphics are so shady its talking about canada’s schedule and theres an asterix beside USA and its like (canada has won four straight games against USA in the olympics) i am in tears im laughing so hard im sorry

team canada cuddling on the ice during n giving each other support? i support this gay shit

I DIDNT KNOW CASSIE CAMPBELL WAS COMMENTATING I LOVE HER SHES A LEGEND

Osawa is such a good player

if japan is going to score theyre going to need to get in close because they dont have the power to score from the point

Kubo has a great shot shes the exception to the above comment

oh my god Kubo goft a penalty and she gave the biggest eyeroll you would have been proud

japan’s defense need to work on their skating technique like they’re shuffling awkwardly but if they could do c-cuts and lateral movemnts they’d be so much more dynamic

literally sweden is one of the top four women’s hockey superpowers and japan is toe to toe with them im really impressed

theyre playing tonight again i mean i dont mind i love bigbang but fam they have so many songs u can pick another one too

japan hAS HAVE SO MANY GOOD CHANCES theyre overdue for a goal

heyyyy THEY SCORED its 1-1

now theyre playing view by shinee im emo

an even better second period

sweden scored again frick 2-1 Sweden

okay so the refs are yelling at them in english but like....how many of them speak english thats the question

lmao sweden cant stay out of the box

hey now they playin excuse me by aoa

fujimoto is an amazing goalie

JAPAN IS PULLING THEIR GOALIE LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK HOW DARE THEY

chungha is playing but i cant even be happy because THEY PULLED THEIR GOALIE

sweden got a penalty but tbh i thought japan would she kicked at the girl

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i hate empty netssssssss

fucking japan is so lucky that puck missed the net

oh well sweden wins 2-1 anyone who pulls their goalie deserves to lose

[ajaegerpilot]

tagged by @itsnobbie​

nicknames: misha is my nickname tho i will change it legally someday. ppl from all walks of life call me ‘meesh’ tho gender: agender but woman-aligned. pronouns are silly can’t i just exist as a vacuous haze. sigh. star sign: im the most pisces pisces ever and horoscopes arent even a real imo but its so true height: sigh...... 166 cm.... im not 211 cm like i deserve to be >:( time right now: 9:18 am last thing i googled: hikaru utada celebrate lyrics english (this is the song where she sings abt a sexy lady, i wanted to see if she was being gay or not. spoilers: she was) favourite bands: i’d recc skip the use, a french rock band! favourite solo artists: mapei always has the most loving songs song stuck in my head: lmao the hikaru utada song. but im also super into mitski’s ‘strawberry blond’ lately? and frank ocean’s ‘chanel’? OH. ALSO THIS SONG i think is very lovely. last movie i watched: ugh i honestly cant remember. probably moana in theatres tbh? either that or some gay shit on the internet. last tv show i watched: lmao literally some gay shit on the internet: that Eiffel tower historical drama. when did you create your blog: jfc. 5 years ago. what do you post: kind of in between fandoms atm. still helplessly devoted to LOK and DAI tho. when did your blog reach its peak: honestly my porn blog post :// rather, that was my lowest point do you have any other blogs: @kuvopal​ @februyuri​ @undercovercomic​ follow them theyre all dead do you get asks regularly: no and thank goodness i get a heart attack every time. IMs for good luck tho. why did you choose your url: bc pacific rim was full of potential and now its full of iggy azalea as the female lead instead of rinko...... im never gonna change this one tho im Too Established as ajaegerpilot. following: 525 posts: 73,249 hogwarts house: gryffindor with hufflepuff leanings because im a heckin normal person pokemon team: VALOR and all my friends are mystique and im still :// abt it. literally all of them. we all know instinct has the best ppl tho. favourite colours: i always wear red but my fav colour is blue. average hours of sleep: siggh too little but around 7 lately, 8 preferably lucky numbers: 6 favourite characters: opal beifong, vivienne de fer, and seiya kou are the tags of characters i check regularly even if they’re dead or hell. what are you wearing right now: a cool shirt where a tree’s riding a bicycle, blue plaid shirt, leggings how many blankets do you sleep with: 2. one for my whole body and 1 for my canadian footsies dream job: um?? im a chemist or biologist and i work in a beautiful place and have a hand to hold? also on the side have published graphic novels? GOALS. dream trip: i wanna go back to hawai’i i was so happy there but also tfw i wanna go back to hawai’i when the world isnt hell and white supremacy+colonialism has been completely dismantled and healed from :// got to fix canada first

ugh i hate tagging ppl bc only 3 of them ever acknowledge it after all the work i put in writing down everyone’s names. im tagging all my mutuals. im also tagging any follower who wants in.

[thedivinemoral-blog]

The Modern Day Religious, and Syrian Refugees.

This is a post I make for followers of Islam, Catholics, Christians, and Jews.

Everyone should question religion and themselves. A quote I like to say is that one should not blindly follow. It may not be a religious quote but it is however an obvious one. The problem with modern day religion simply put, is that anyone who is religious must defend themselves.

Im not a person who is against anyone agnostic or athiest, but it is depressing just how much they are against me. Many times have I had some one turn around, whether young or old, and try to shut down a friendly conversation between a friend and myself.

I’ve been called a bible hugger or stupid too many times. Its actually rather sad, although the same could be said for the overly righteous (and mildly hilarious) crazy christians we see on the internet. Either way, either side, seems is full of some sort of anger.

Everyone wants to feel like they’re important, wants to be heard. They need to be behind something. There is a religious phrase “love thy neighbor.” Its also a pretty realistic phrase. Its one Id wish to remind every person about.

Its becoming normal for people to not be religious. I dont blame anyone for this. This is also causing major changes within all religions. Here in Canada, young muslim people are generally much more open than you’d expect. They have to fight extremely hard sometimes to make people understand that not all people have radical views.

As a person of mixed Roman Catholic and Orthodox Christian faith, I find it extremely hard to fit in with the views I have. I love gay people, I love the fact that people can choose to have an abortion, and I love Islam.

I love all religion.

The world is having another huge social battle right now. With the rush of Syrian refugees, Europe, The United States, and to a certain degree, Canada, isnt sure what to do. Though I am certain that the actual refugees are even less sure on what to do.

I mean imagine having your family taken, your country destroyed and everyone around you spitting on your even being there. Though there is a much more obvious problem as well. Europe and the USA are fighting against the refugees with using a huge aggression towards the fact that they’re generally Muslim.

Especially Europe. This is a huge issue because as you may know, there are Syrian Christians. Does this mean that they will look at them any differently? I highly doubt it. In fact Syria is mentioned in the bible throughout, starting right off with the book of genesis.

The problem I generally have with Religion in The United States in particular, correct me if you see it as being wrong, is that they generally seem to have a huge issue with the middle east. Many people there hate the middle east, but then will turn around and call America “Gods Country.”

Gods country, one of them anyway, technically, is in fact Syria.

Or you could say the same for older time (and modern I guess) racism from the west. Many people were (and still are) extremely racist towards people of middle eastern descent, not realizing everyone in the bible probably looked just like them. I mean, egypt, palestine, israel, syria?

Where do people think these places are?

Its rather depressing seeing people rally against these poor refugees, not seeing them as being people in need. Especially when you bring religion into your argument. Do you truly believe that Christ himself would turn away people in need? Children? Especially people who follow his faith?

Jean-Nicolas Beuze, a Canadian human rights worker and advocate said; “Becoming a refugee is never a choice,  It’s a decision you have to make to save your life and the lives of your children.” This is literally the case here. This really shouldnt be considered an invasion, but rather a migration.

If you dont want some one around you, why would you not try to help them go somewhere they can? This is the issue I have with what Europe is doing right now. The people at these rallies, they dont care about the actual people who have to go through this, they cannot put themselves in anothers shoes. They are violent and ignorant to the fact that they can help these people. Its not a religious problem, this is racism at its core.

Look, I can understand some not wanting to become a “multicultural country”, but in the refugees defense, that small minority would not change anything that much. Actually, was it that big a problem when huge numbers of Jews dwelled in Poland? This cant be a religious issue, it must be propaganda and racism. The same thing happened to the Orthodox Community in Poland, they argued that Orthodoxy was a form of russification, and that they will not let it happen. Though it is rather silly, considering they got Catholicism from Germany, apparently.

Did I mention Im half Polish? Oops.

But I guess thats another issue altogether. Look, all Im saying is, you can turn away a young man today from your country, but my hope is that he will come to Canada, become a doctor, and save more lives than any person who hates so much ever will.

If a child is born from a father who was a killer, why would you blame that baby for his bloodline? Do you think these children are born thinking that one day anything like this would ever happen? Question your religions and yourselves.

You may have a few people who could be a criminal, but you are turning away literally thousands upon thousands of people, mainly children, who are amazing human beings. In fact, theyre probably nicer and more accepting than all these ralliers. They have been through a war comparable to world war 2, taken themselves on rafts across oceans, across countries. These are strong, admirable people. I can only imagine the great things these children will do.

But if anything, maybe they dont have to do a thing. Maybe what they really just need to do, is live a normal life. You dont have to become the president of the united states, a doctor, or a teacher. Being able to live a normal life is a serious privilege. North America is like a kingdom. Even Europeans move here. I dont think a lot of these “patriots” really understand how extremely difficult it can be to be someone else. You should really help people who deserve it in any situation.

A lot of people say that you just dont know who is a criminal. Thats so true, you dont know. You may turn away a group of people that had no criminals. Its depressing. Im sure the law can handle itself, we can handle criminals. The United States was known for terrorism coming from young white college students for decades. The law handled it, no matter how sad the problem may be. Things happen, always.

In conclusion, its extremely important to think critically about any situation. Canada is open to all refugees and has an extremely low terrorism rate… knock on wood. My point is that all people need to come together, perhaps not to become multicultural but to help all cultures survive and thrive in a world that should know better.

-The Divine Moral

[viralhottopics]

A Definitive Ranking Of 2000s Rom Coms

Although people who peaked in high school like to act poetic about how great the 2000s were, they werent actually any better than the present day. I mean, it was a time when Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wore matching denim outfits in public and nobody carted them off to an insane asylum.

But Im prepared to make a concession on two points: 1) At least we werent under the administration of a sentient slime mold wearing a bad wig. 2) The 2000s were a golden age for romantic comedies, mostly thanks to Judy Greers tireless efforts to play every heroines best friend. Plus, only like half the jokes were sexist, and there was about an 80% chance pre-pretentious Matthew McConaughey would show up.

Obviously, a betch has to be picky about her rom-comssome are shitty in a good way, but others are best avoided in case someone catches you watching them. To guide your Netflix viewings, here’s a totally objective list of 00s rom coms. If you disagree, which Im sure everyone will, please note that Im not actually forcing you to watch these movies; Im just saying that if you regularly watch any of the bottom five, you have terrible taste.

14.

is considered a modern classic by two groups of people. 1) men in their late 20s with a crush on Natalie Portman and a thriving quarter-life crisis and 2) 8th graders in 2004 under the assumption that any movie that features a Shins track in its soundtrack is automatically deep. To everyone else, its a film about self-absorbed white people whining about their lives until theyre magically fixed by the power of mixtapes. There are approximately a zillion issues with this film, beginning with Zach Braffs complete lack of expression and ending with the fact that you cant cure real depression by listening to The Shins, no matter how clearly superior the soundtrack is to anything else in this film. Worst of all, though, is the fact that Natalie Portman played a manic pixie dream girl so obnoxious I still dream about strangling her character sometimes. Padme deserves so much better.

13.

Im not saying romantic comedies have to make much sense, but s plot is mystifying. Matthew McConaugheys parents are tired of him living at home, so they call in a lady high class escort (Sarah Jessica Parker) whose job is literally seducing men into moving out of their parents basements and unceremoniously dumping them. Because that’s plausible, and not at all fucked up to force your son to fall in love with someone you’re paying. Ridiculous premise aside, you know a movie is terrible when famed nicegirl Zooey Deschanel is the best thing about it.

12. Monster-in-Law

In case you missed this one, and for your sake I hope you did, is about Jane Fonda inexplicably being terrible to Jennifer Lopez, who walks a lot of dogs and is engaged to Fondas son. That right there should tell you all you need to knowI cannot think of one movie that JLo was in that was anything above mild torture, and we’re supposed to root for her character why, exactly? If my son was engaged to a full-time dog walker you can best believe I’d do everything short of actual murder to put a stop to that bullshit.

11.

Im told some people love this movie, but Jesus fucking Christ, is it possible for the two main characters to be any more appalling? Here you have two assholes manipulating the shit out of each other and just generally acting psychotic, all to win a stupid bet with their friends. They really should call it “How To Act Like A Psychopath And Lose Your Dignity.”

10.

Not gonna lie, I fucking adored when I was an impressionable preteen. It had time travel! Mark Ruffalo! A makeover scene! Years later, the movie is still fun to watch, even if it is way too obsessed with the 80s, but the jokes are more cute than funny. Also, why would anyone allow their 13-year-old child to go to a sleepover hosted by a 30-year-old? That is … questionable to say the least. Not to mention Jennifer Garner’s character does a reverse transformation from a betch into a nicegirl and dumps her hot pro bf in favor of her formerly fat friend. Blah blah, true love, I don’t give a fuck. Tenth.

9.

is close to being wrapped in cutesy narration, but it’s far superior. For one thing, it reintroduced the world to Joseph Gordon-Levitts dimples. For another, it manages to be a fairly realistic depiction of a shitty millennial relationship without being super fucking depressing. But thats also kind of the problemrom coms arent supposed to be realistic, theyre supposed to be clich and feel-good, and I don’t care what you say, Summer is a thot. I have literally stayed up at night mapping how she could have possibly met someone worthy of engagement a mere 118 days after she broke up with Tom, and only six days after attending a wedding as his guest (yes I did the mathI told you; this movie keeps me up at night). No matter how you slice it, she had to have cheated on somebody.

8.

Full disclosure: As a Southern betch, Im stoked that takes place right next door. (Dear Hollywood: An entire country exists between New York and LA.) But even though it features Patrick Dempsey as the other man, Josh Lucas with a dreamy Southern accent, and Reese Witherspoon, there are still some issues. Mainly, WTF WERE YOU THINKING, MELANIE? Did you really dump your future president fianc for your secret redneck husband just so “the first boy you kissed could also be your last”? I’ve heard of trying to keep your number down, but damn if this isn’t some delusional shit.

7.

Everyone on planet Earth can relate to having a batshit crazy family, and thats exactly what makes appealing. The two leads are fine, considering they’re not Kate Hudson or Matthew McConaughey, but the extended family is everyones favorite part of the movie. Honestly the most memorable moment to come out of this movie is the “put some Windex on it”pretty good deal for Windex, not so much for the people who actually starred in the movie. However, it does get points for the memorable line: “The man may be the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she pleases.”

6.

The plot is pretty flimsy (a Canadian businesswoman has to marry her assistant to avoid deportation) but everyone loves a story where the couple starts out hating each other and eventually falls in love. The cast is what makes this movie pure rom com gold: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, and Betty fucking White, who gifted us with the infamous Native American dance scene. Basically, it’s predictable but ridiculous, making it better than some of the other garbage movies on this list.

5.

Admittedly, is probably to blame for some of the chubby man-child/beautiful, svelte woman couplings we see in the media that give men unrealistic beauty expectations (of the types of women they can expect to date), otherwise known as The Beyonc/Jay Z Phenomenon. But whatevs. Its a good movie. Seth Rogen has that whole dad bod thing going onapparently a thing some people are intoand Katherine Heigl was at the top of her rom com game before she pissed off the entire cast of .is actually hilarious, which is enough to make up for the fact that Katherine Heigl appears in it.

4.

Even aside from my undeniable crush on youthful Sandra Bullock, is a quintessential early-2000s romantic comedy. Allow me to explain. 1) It stars an ambitious career woman who dont need no man. 2) But she kind of wants one anyway, and everyone realizes what a catch she is when she puts on lipstick and a dress. 3) Did I mention its plot is literally an extended makeover scene as Bullock goes from bad ass FBI agent to bad ass beauty pageant contestant? I rest my case. Add in some cute female friendships and a scene in which Bullock teaches us how to fend off an attacker, and its basically required viewing every year.

3.

You had to know was going to make the list despite this amazing take-down article of why it’s actually terrible. With approximately a bajillion storylines going on, its hard not to find one you like and get invested, and it doesnt hurt that the film features every well-known British actor under the sun. Im not sure how the movie manages to juggle all the different plots without being confusing and/or boring, but Im not gonna question it. However, this shit is TOO FUCKING LONG. If I have to pop an Adderall just to make it through a damn movie (which I do), you need to send your editors back to the drawing board.

2.

is the perfect example of a rom com thats super clich in theory, but in practice, its so fucking heartwarming it doesnt even matter (ugh). Katherine Heigl plays ultimate nicegirl Jane (in case the fact that her name is “Jane” wasn’t enough of a clue), whos been part of 27 weddings and miraculously hasnt gone broke from buying all the bridesmaid dresses. The dudes are pretty forgettable, but Janes psychotic sister and slutty best friend totally steal the spotlight, elevating the film to truly betchy heights.

P.S. For once, James Marsden plays the leading man, so his preternaturally perfect face gets more screen time, #bless.

1.

Bridget Joness Diary is the ultimate feel-good movie, as in its literally impossible to watch it without feeling your icy soul thaw ever so slightly at the end. The titular character starts out fat, single, and past the age of 30, so basically our worst nightmare. By the end, though, she manages to bang Hugh Grant and Colin Firth, land a better job, and become a self-described wanton sex goddess. If those arent your life goals, you clearly need to start your own self-help journey.

Read more: http://betches.co/2leb0vU

from A Definitive Ranking Of 2000s Rom Coms