#they were probably talking about it today while i wasnt im

[hannieehaee]

hi! i wanted to request seungcheol x reader based off of ‘how you get the girl’ by taylor swift? thank you!

content: inspired by 'how you get the girl' by taylor swift, angsty, fight between reader and cheol implied, fluff ending, etc.

wc: 738

a/n: ive never rlly listened to taylor before so im sorry if i took the lyrics out of context i tried to research the meaning of the song but i wasnt 100% sure T-T anyways tysm for requesting sorry i took so long <3

masterlist

seungcheol knew he had royally fucked up.

the details didn't matter now. it had been a while now – six months to be exact – and he still couldnt get over you. he'd see you around town occasionally, and you'd look perfectly fine. how could you be fine when he was so empty without you in his life? were you really better off without him?

he tried to move on, he really did, but no one was like you. the type of love you had was the type he wanted to be his endgame. there was no question about it. which was why he needed to fix his this.

it started with attempts to be in the same spaces as you again. he would find out where you'd be from mutual friends (okay, a little stalkerish, but it was fine!) and make sure to be in attendance to any party you'd go to. lucky for him, you were best friends with his good friends soonyoung and vernon, which gave him the perfect opening to approach you every time. at first you'd look peeved off by his presence, but after a few times you seemed to warm up to him, even laughing at his jokes sometimes. after a few weeks of intruding your friend hangouts, it was as if he'd always been there.

the day finally came in which you'd been left alone together at a party, with both soonyoung and vernon leaving one by one. it was getting late, so seungcheol offered to walk you home, which you surprisingly accepted with a polite smile. you talked like old friends on your way back, never once making any mention of the relationship you used to have. that made cheol both sad and relieved. it was good you weren't hurt by it anymore, but did this mean you were now looking for a mere friendship out of him? he had tried to bring back the old dynamics between the two of you. he had even been as physically affectionate as your newly-developed friendship would allow, but it seemed like that wasnt what you were looking for. seungcheol couldnt help but carry the disappointment in his face as the two of you arrived to your home.

"cheol? what's wrong?", you asked as soon as you caught sight of his face.

"hmm? oh, nothing. im fine. i, uh, goodnight. thanks for letting me walk you."

before he could even turn around, you pulled at his arm to grab his attention.

"cheol, what is it?"

he hesitated in speaking up again. he knew himself to be an outspoken man to a fault. and how was be expected to hold back when you looked so pretty under the moonlight and were even showing concern for him?

"i love you,"

fuck. that's not how he meant to start. and that was clearly not what you had expected him to say, judging by the shocked expression on your face.

"what?"

"im still in love with you, i- i know i fucked up, and i know i waited too long, but ... seeing you move on in life without me made me lose my mind. i know i shouldve apologized earlier. and i cant even blame you for breaking up with me, i ... i was a shitty boyfriend. i didnt treat you how you deserved. but i'll be better now, i promise! just give me one more chance. ill give you everything i shouldve back then and more. i know it's been six months, but ive been losing my mind without you. i know we could make this work. please?"

he knew he mustve looked crazy as he rambled his sudden love confession to you, but he still hoped that you'd maybe take pity on him and take him back. however, after a full minute of silence from you as you didn't meet his eyes, he knew that luck probably wouldnt be smiling at him today.

he turned to leave without a word until you unexpectedly stopped him again.

"wait, cheol," you seemed kind of shy about your movements, but still offered him a smile.

"come in? do you ... will you stay the night? please?"

your shy smile was met with his bright one as his arms warmly wrapped around yours, kissing your cheeks over and over as he used to once upon a time, walking the two of you into the apartment he was once oh so familiar with.

[sturnsbabie]

Can you write a fluff about Chris x reader, and he invites her to film a video for his personal channel introducing the reader as his girlfriend to the fans and answering some questions about their relationship.

𝐏𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐂 -𝐂.𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎

pairing: bf!chris x gf!reader

summary: in which chris films a video with his girlfriend introducing her to his fans and asking questions.

warnings: fluff, slight suggestive.

i hope u like this anon, i tried my best

chris and i have been together for over five months now. we have been keeping our relationship out of the public.

the fans do know he has a girlfriend though, he talks about me a lot in car videos. sometimes he will even post faceless pictures of us in his insta photo dumps. the fans just dont know who i am just yet.

my indenity was kept hidden as i wasnt that big on social media and i wanted to keep it that for awhile not wanting to be the centet of attention.

i was currently in my car headed over to his house. we were gonna film a video introducing me as his girlfriend. i was a little excited but nervous because i knew how the fans can be.

i pulled into the driveway of the triplets house and got out grabbing my things. i was staying here for a couple of days after we filmed the video.

i walked up to the door and let myself in since chris told me i didnt have to knock anymore because we have been dating for a while.

“chris! im here!” i yell out and i hear a set of footsteps jolting from the stairs.

he came into the living room and pulled me into a hug and kissed me softly.

“hi beautiful” he said with a smile.

“hi chris” i said

we headed to his room where he had the camera set up for us to film.

we laid in bed and cuddled for awhile before we decided to start filming.

chris started the video and was doing his intro as i stayed out of the frame til he told me to come over to him.

“hey guys. as you probably have read my title ill be doing a long awaited girlfriend reveal today!” he said with a small smile.

“come on baby!” he motioned for me to come into the frame.

i walked over and sat down next to him as he was talking to the camera.

“you can introduce yourself now.” he said as he looked at me.

“hi. im y/n!” i smiled softly as chris was telling the camera what we were gonna be talking about.

“i asked you guys on my instagram story to send in some questions you guys wanna know about our relationship so thats what were gonna be doing!” he said.

“someone asked how did you guys meet?” chris said

“we have known of eachother for a few years and we officially met thru madi who shes good friends with.” chris explained.

i nodded and listened to chris talk as i smiled at him softly.

“question for you mama, whats your favorite things about me?”

“hmmm! i could name so many” i giggle.

“my favorite thints about you have to be the way you look at me, your cute lil nose, and your hugs” i blush as i say everything.

“interesting” he chuckled.

“where did our first kiss happen”chris asked as he was looking at his phone.

“good question!” he said as i looked at him.

“you answer this one!” i giggle as i play with the ring on my finger.

“well we just had went on our second date and we came back to mine to watch a movie and she had looked at me with this look that was filled with adoration and thats right when i knew it would be her. ANYWAYS i cupped her cheeks softly and kissed her” he was flustered thinking about that moment.

“how did i ask y/n to be my girlfriend?” chris read the question.

“we went out for a fancy dinner date and after we were taking a walk along the beach just talking and he asked me to be his girlfriend.” i said with a small blush.

“a spicy question but how did your guys first time happen?” i read off of chris’ phone as he gave me his phone so i could look at the questions.

chris chuckled as he looked at me. “you sure you want me to answer?” he asked

“yeah go ahead, just dont go too much into detail” i giggled.

“well we were in the backseat of her car in a empty parking lot two weeks after we officially started dating. we had just got food and were sitting and talking and one thing led to another and we ended in the backseat.”he said as he looked at me.

i was flustered as i thought back on that night the first ever time we were intimate with eachother. the way our bodies were connected with eachother and the way we he had me bent over my backseat.

“and that wraps up this video! thank you guys so much for sending in questions. i hope you enjoyed this video as much as i enjoyed filming it” chris said doing his outro as i waved to the camera before he turned it off.

it had been a few days since chris posted the video and the fans were eating it up.

most of the fans were super loving and supportive but there were maybe a few that were sending hate but i really didnt care.

the fans were being super sweet and supportive defending me with some of the hate comments i had got.

fans were making a bunch of cute edits and posting clips from the video.

VIDEO COMMENTS!

user: the way he looks at her omg

user2: the way they both got flustered talking about intimate moments

chrislover1: shes fucking ugly that should be me im prettier and better

user: fuck off

nicolassturniolo: yall hating on y/n for what,yall mad she w chris.

user: they are such a beautiful couple

user: need y/n in a car video immediately.

it felt good being public with chris finally. being able to post him without worrying the fans would find my account.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for leaving a voice chat without telling my friends why

(were all adults)

recently me and a few friends started voice chatting every day in the evening, but ive noticed my mood dipping a lot at those times lately. today was another low point. we didnt have anything to do, so one of my friends (L) suggested watching a new show together, but i didnt really feel like watching it yet and the other friend in the vc at the time (K) didnt really reply. So we ended up playing a game together instead, and i got annoyed at something small so i told them id be gone for a moment to listen to loud music (since that usually helps me calm down/distract my brain from whatever got me feeling weird before). When i came back to the vc, I tried telling them why i got in a bad mood but they kinda brushed it off and i didnt feel like they were taking me seriously at all.

we kept playing for a bit but then i asked L to start a new topic so i could distract myself from bad thoughts and they suggested the show again, which i denied bc i really wasnt in the mood to watch it at that time. Then L started talking about how im often the one to suggest watching stuff together and they always say yes, but im never in the mood to watch anything they suggest. i started feeling even worse and asked if we can watch it together another time bc i really wasnt feeling it at the moment (i was also starting to cry but i dont think they noticed). L said that im always saying no or pushing stuff they suggest to another day and how a few years ago when we were both still in puberty i often suggested stuff and was 'always immediately in a bad mood' when they said no.

all of that wasnt helping my brain at that moment at all so i tried a few more times to kind of explain my pov and asked if we can watch it another time but they kept going on about how im 'always like that'. i was kind of spiraling the whole time and at some point i couldnt hold my thoughts back anymore and yelled back at L and told them that 'its really great to hear that weve been friends for years but this one thing i do was and is always annoying to you and you hate that i am like that and you hate everything i do and you hate me anyway' and stormed out of my room while knocking a lot of stuff over.

when i had calmed down a bit and could actually think properly again i was lying in the dark on my kitchen floor and after some minutes i got myself to get up, go back to my pc and turn if off (i had knocked down a monitor and some other stuff during my emotional reaction/escape before).

but when i did, i saw that my other screen showed me as still in the game, so i was probably still in the vc too while i was gone until i came back to turn off my pc, which probably means that after i left they tried to explain themselves and took me not replying as being bitchy or hurt about it until i turned the pc off (and left the vc), but i cant know for sure. Right now, K and L are still in the vc doing other stuff together but i dont feel well enough to message either of them or rejoin or do anything about it yet, my mind is kind of just blank.

but the tiny part of me that has the ability to think right now feels really bad about overreacting again and assuming that they hate me and just leaving without giving them the chance to explain themselves and then just turning off the pc without telling them anything. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[smolweeblets]

Get Good

Hana "D.Va" Song x Reader

Its quite a mystery how youve dated D.va for this long without playing a single game with her. Although she's been pestering you about it for a while, you never really took her up on it. It wasnt like you outwardly didnt want to play with her, it was just that you did not know how to play the games she liked. It was all just too stressful, they required too much thinking for your taste.

Alas, today was the day you found yourself finally caving in. There really was no question that this would happen eventually. Hana’s persuasion tactics were always top-tier, and this has been a game shes been excited about for a long time.

Her persuasion was so good that she managed to get you two to play together on stream. Youve been in a few of her streams while she gamed before, so it really didn't make all that much of a difference to you. She got you your own setup beside her own, so you both could monitor and respond to chat, since they were quite fond of you.

Youve always joked that Hana only wanted you there because her streams got a few thousand more views when you were there. She genuinely did just want you to be there to watch her, seeing as when you were there, chat was usually ignored in favor of talking to you.

And so the stream was set, she even announced that this stream stream would be a special one with you in it beforehand. Her fans were pumped, and so was she, constantly showering you in love and affection after you agreed.

Admittedly, you were a little nervous, you knew nothing about these games, but Hana reassured you that it would be okay. She was going to learn about that game for the first time as well, she said. So you both would be in it together.

What you failed to remember was that Hana is an already seasoned gamer, so picking these things up were second nature for her, while you were stuck learning the basics 30 minutes in.

Eventually, she got a little impatient, and decided that you two should enter a match already. You tried to protest, but seeing that everyone in chat agreed, you just rolled along with it. You figured if you fail miserably at something it would just be clipped and be a small meme. That was something you could live with.

“You ready babe?” Hana held your hand and grinned, causing chat to move at a dizzying speed. It almost gave you motion sickness with how fast it was going.

“Yeah, at least I hope so” You chuckle as the game loaded.

For first few rounds you were always the first to die. You apologized profusely after each death, and Hana waved it off, albeit seeming tense as you were practically giving the enemy team free resources.

“Im so sorry Hana! I swear ill take better cover next time-” You sheepishly apologized.

“Its fine babe, but man. You really are trash at this” She chuckled. Chat agreed with her, telling you to get good and start contributing to your team.

Oh.

You werent expecting that to sting so much. It was true of course, but in a way you couldnt explain it just… hurt.

Nevertheless, you shook off the comment. It was nothing to get upset over, Hana was just stating facts. You tried your hardest to hide the awkwardness in your chuckle, it seemed you were successful as Hana had her game face back on.

She made you want to jump right back into it yourself, motivated to do better. You avoided looking at chat for the moment, knowing they probably were just going to get you down. You focused on the game, putting in your all. It was effective, it seemed your team was actually winning this time, and your kills werent zero!

Hana congratulated you with every elimination, finally giving you a small feeling of accomplishment.

But alas, disaster had to strike sometime. Apparently, the opposite team had a hacker, and even though Hana could eliminate them, she was killed in turn. Of course, this lead the gamer to be triggered for the rest of the match.

There was only one person left on the opposing team. You were so close to winning!

Only problem being, you were the last one alive. Hana watched your screen like a hawk. Pointing and micromanaging everything you did. Chat could see everything you did through the spectate on Hanas screen. God, this almost felt more stressful than your finals, and those were no joke.

Hana failed to notice your trembling hands and the beads of sweat rolling down your face. She was too busy watching your screen, chastising you for every mistake you made. You tried your best to follow her instructions, harsh as they were.

“To the gate babe!! We're almost there!” Hana putting down her headset to stand behind you did nothing to help your stress. It didnt matter, you were almost finished here.

You were by the final objective, oh so close to success. You started activating the final task, at the final few percent until Hana suddenly screams at you to take cover. It was too late, Hanas loud voice in your ear amidst your already stressed state caused you to panic and react late.

You died. Hana punched the back of your seat in frustration.

“I'm really sorry, maybe I should just-” You set down your headset on the desk and looked to Hana apologetically.

Hana held her face in her hands, grumbling something incoherent. You could also see chat complaining out of the corner of your eye.

“Yeah, I'm sorry to say but you should probably hop off before you cause me to lose any more matches. Even my skill isn't enough to carry you.” She seethed, although not directly at you.

Still, it made you feel like absolute shit. You didn't even know why, everything she said was true.

“Yeah, uh, sorry chat, I'm gonna take my leave now, you guys have fun! I'll be in the other room if you need me” You tried your best to sound unaffected. Who were you kidding, you sounded like you were on the verge of tears.

And yet, Hana still didn't notice. Quickly switching her personality again and apologizing for the delay. She went right back into the rhythm of things, smiling and winning each game after.

It really wasn't all that serious, there was no reason to be upset. She knew that you had little to no skill or knowledge in these things. And you always knew Hana had the tendency to get a little rowdy with bad teammates. You sighed. No use in thinking about it now, best to just sleep it off.

And so you did, only awakening when you felt a dip in the bed, signifying the stream was finally done and Hana was set to lay in bed and take a break.

She sees your barely open eyes and looks sheepish.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” She crawls over to you slowly.

“No, it's fine.” You smile half-heartedly.

A moment passes before you decide to ask. “Did the stream go well?”

“Yeah! It was even easier than usual because everyone was still getting used to the game! Was a little boring though, so the stream was shorter than usual!” Hana beams. It brings a gentle smile to your face.

“I'm kinda sad you didn't stay for long though, you could've still watched even if you weren't playing.” Hana pouts as she starts to cuddle with you. Her arms resting on top of you and her face digging into your back.

“Oh, well… sorry.” A moment passes before you awkwardly continue. “... About that, uh there's something I want to share…” You trail off.

Hana gives a hum of acknowledgement into your shoulder. “Yeah? What is it?”

“Well… its sort of silly but… the way you called me bad earlier kinda hurt?” Your voice is laced with borderline embarrassment. Embarrassment that you were actually really affected by such seemingly simple words.

Hanas face is confused before she fully registers your words.

“Is that so!? I'm really sorry babe! You know how I get sometimes, I just get a little carried away–which is still no excuse at all! I'm really sorry I should have know–nh!” She was interrupted by your hand over her mouth.

“Hana, I appreciate the enthusiasm but you can tone it down a bit-” You wince at the memory of how fast she was talking.

She calms down quickly at your touch and takes a moment to compose herself. You let out a sigh of relief and smile gently at her.

“Sorry… uh, so you wanna talk about it?” She hesitantly offers.

“Yeah, but not really much to talk about… it just kinda stung when you insulted me, even if it was true–” You avert your gaze, seemingly finding a newfound interest in the wall right behind Hana.

“I'm so sorry you had to feel that way– I really should have known better!” You look down to see Hana frowning. It melts you a little inside. Just a little.

“It's okay Hana… Just letting you know for next time, yeah?” You smile softly while you gently pet her hair.

“Yeah, I'm really so sorry! Please stay on my streams though, you being there means everything to me!” Hana hugs you tightly.

“Of course! But I won't be playing anything just to be safe… unless youre going to play minecraft or something, now thats a game I can handle”

“Yay! Sorry again but thanks for not hating me! I really do get carried away sometimes–” Hana smiled sheepishly while she buried her face into your arm, causing you to chuckle quietly.

“Yeah, I know, it's something I knew dating you, just shocked me a little when directed at me is all” You sigh, relieved to finally get that out of your system.

Hana suddenly climbs on top of you and straddles you. She had the eyes of determination you found yourself swooning over very often. “I am going to spoil you so bad as an apology. Get ready for all the love and affection I can muster in me. It's a lot.”

“Oh god…”

A/n: Yep, im an overwatch writer now.

This was originally much angstier in my head but decided against it lolsies

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hey! I feel like Ive been at this for a goddamn eternity so in an attempt to speed things up I shall read 3 chapters today, how exciting. Im motivating myself by telling me that Im gonna get to watch the 2007 Takarazuka Snow Troupe Production of Elisabeth when Im done, specifically my favorite song because. okay so, when I talk about watching any Takarazuka production of Elisabeth what I actually mean is, I have pretty much all the proshots and a bunch of english subtitle files, but theres not a subtitle file for every existing proshot, so for example, theres a subtitle file for the 1996 Star Troupe Production but not the 1996 Snow Troupe Production which isnt a big deal since the diaogue and lyrics are all the same, but you cant just put the Star subtitle file over the Snow video because itll be completely out of sync, so what I do is, I put the Star subtitles into my subtitle editor with the Snow video and I manually re-sync every line to create Snow subtitles, and while I do that Im effectively just watching my favorite musical over and over again except very slowly. So yeah, in case you were wondering what your favorite acotar complainer does for fun, now you know

Anyway, enough of my life, now its time for my liveblog, last time Feyre and Rhysand got ambushed by some of Hyberns soldiers and Rhys got shot atleast 7 times and kidnapped and tortured, but Feyre was fine and she saved him and she pulled all the arrows out of him and now hes probably gonna be perfectly fine. I know this isnt gonna affect him in any meaningful way, like his wings are gonna bd fine and his back isnt gonna hurt, but I do hope that he atleast suffers for the duration of the 3 chapters im gonna read because otherwise whats the point

Chapter 50

Rhysands wounds are only healing very slowly and hes got a fever, we're off to a good start

idk why but I really hate Feyre kissing him on the forehead. the narrative has not earned such a tender gesture

THE SURIEL 🎉🎉

Oh, i hadnt noticed this before but I like the alliteration we get with the german translation of Feyre Cursebreaker, Feyre Fluchbrecher. 10/10 very fun to say

its been ONE year since Feyre first came to Prythian, Sarah im begging you, please stop pointing out the passage of time youre activel making it harder for me to get invested in this stupid romange

They translate 'Mate' as 'Seelengefährte' ['Soulmate'] and oh, you have no idea how happy I am about that, this and the fact that they dont say male and female but just man and woman/masculine and feminine makes this series about a million times better, once again, thank you Alexandra Ernst

I dont understand why Feyre being Rhysands mate is such a big deal anyway, she didnt grow up in this culture, and pretty much all she has at this point is Tamlin's vague explanation of it being a bond that goes beyond marriage and the fact that his and Rhysand's parents, both infamously horrible couples, were mates

'"He is the most powerful High Lord to have ever walked the earth. You are... new. You were created by all seven High Lords. Different than anything that existed before you. Does that not make you the same? Equal?"' ewww i hate that. If this is supposed to be romantic somehow why would you make it all about power, why wouldnt the Suriel say smth like "You both suffered in the same ways. He is the is the only one to ever truly understand you"

But also. Rhysand and Feyre are not even the same though ? Like yeah, Rhys is powerful, but wasnt Feyre special because shes capital-m Made, which he is not? If the logic behind mates is the two people being 'the same' in some way, then Feyre should really be Amren's mate methinks

Im not gonna lie, Feyre angrily forcing Rhys to drink her blood is pretty hot

'Deep down I hated myself for speaking to him like this.' No girl dont hate yourself, this is the first time in over 600 pages Ive found the feysand dynamic even remotely compelling

'I stared at him, this Illyrian half-blood whose soul was bound to mine.' what the hell? Top Ten Feyre Archeron Racist Moments

This mf really told his cousin and his weird freaky eldritch creatures whose apartment he pays for that he and Feyre are mates before he told Feyre

I just zoned out thinking about a version of Feysand where Feyre is basically constantly telling Rhys stuff like 'youre just a burden' or whatever she said during that one argument because shes starting to figure out his weak spots the more time she spends with him and she wants to like, break him emotionally as revenge for UTM and Rhysand doesnt do anything about it because he just represses all his emotions and he cant just stop spending time with her because theyre mates and he feels like he needs to be close to her all the time. Idk, abusive relationships have been my favorite angst fanfic premise lately

Its so wild how Feyre is super angry with Rhys for keeping the mating bond from her when literally everyone else already knew and not only is he gonna do the exact same thing with the baby in acosf, Feyre is just gonna be fine with it then even though its arguably much much worse

Chapter 51

Okay so I guess Cassian, Azriel and Mor have just been hanging out in Rhysand's warcamp house, do they not have anything better to do

god i wish being all pathetic laying in the dirt was Rhysand's default state instead of him always being the manliest man to ever man

Oh, so I guess Mor used to get locked up in this cabin in the middle of nowhere whenever she 'misbehaved'. you would think she'd have more sympathy for Nesta in acosf but from everything ive seen.....

this chapter was extremely short

I completely forgot that this book was split into parts, i guess its The House of Mist time now

Chapter 52

god the anachronistic clothing in this series is gonna be the death of me, why is feyre always wearing leggings and a cremecolored swester istg

Full offense, but if the mating bond is soooooo much stronger than marriage, Rhysand should not have been earnestly worried about Feylin getting married

This part where Feyre is relieved because it turned out that her relationship with Tamlin was always doomed to fail because she had a soulmate is pretty interesting, but it also feels like complete bullshit for reasons that Im struggling to articulate

I would just like to reiterate that I am so relieved that they just call it soulmates in the german version, I cannot imagine how insufferable this must be to read in english

Feyre started painting again hoorayyyyyyy. i feel like this wouldve been more impactful if she wasnt constantly thinking about wanting to paint whatever she sees, but hey

I actually think this part where Mor comes in and just goes around complimenting all the stuff Feyre painted everywhere is quite nice, I think i would enjoy it more if this whole story wasnt pissing me off rn

waiiiiiit ive never seen people talk about Mor's mother even though shes apparently alive and well, whats their relationship? Whats her role at the CoN if Mor is supposed to be the queen of the Hewn City??

Mor being like "Rhysand gave me his permission to kill my abusers but I dont do it even though I have pretty much no reason not to, but Cassian and Azriel really want to do it and would do it without hesitation so maybe I'll let them do it" is somehow a perfect summary of SJM's shallow wannabe feminism

Feyre still barely understands the relationships between individual members of the inner circle but sure, theyre the family she never had

[moonshinemagpie]

thoughts on beautiful sick bodies

i have some kind of joint disease that is yet to be diagnosed. im in and out of the rheumatology department of my hospital all the time now, and sometimes i get scared, or angry, or resentful, because i dont like that im 25 and might end up disabled or in a wheelchair or whatever

and i know that happens to a lot of folks, but im scared of losing my strength, and my youth, and my grace, and my dignity, and my independence, and my and my and—

but today my rheumatologist’s waiting room was completely packed, and about 90% of the patients were women, probably reflecting how these autoimmune diseases tend to dwell in our bodies more frequently. and there were all these women using a wider variety of canes and walkers and wheelchairs than i ever realized existed. 

i saw one woman walking with a cane that wrapped around her forearm, so she was able to control it with her arm instead of having to press down on her wrist. and my whole body is so tired and sore, my wrists especially, and the moment i saw her cane i wanted one for myself. and then suddenly my whole perspective shifted in a way im not sure i can articulate:

she was cool. she had this dope cane and she could get around without exacerbating her pain. she outsmarted a disease. she was a fiery, beautiful genius.

and then all at once all the ladies in the waiting room seemed so cool, so unutterably beautiful. 

i had crushes on all of them. the two friends maybe in their 60s who were yakking at each other, their canes occasionally clinking together as they shifted their heads together in talk i couldn’t keep up with. the woman who was sleeping across three chairs like she didnt give a fuck, took up the space her body needed her to take up, because chronic fatigue is a dick. 

i heard a cane clinking down the hallway quite quickly and rhythmically. i closed my eyes and vividly imagined it belonged to someone tall, handsome, dangerous—kaz brekker came to mind, all strong and resilient and sexily masculine, because the cane clinked with such speed that it announced a certain confidence in its user.

and then the cane user turned the corner, and i saw it was a little old woman in her 80s. she was completely stooped over, her spine entirely curved, just as mine very well could be some day. and she was all the grace and beauty and cool ive ever wanted to be. kaz brekker wishes he were she. she moved so beautifully, and all at once i wasnt afraid of reaching her level of disability, not if i could move through the world like her.

I know this is really dramatic. A few weeks ago I had no idea my body was this sick. A few weeks ago I had no idea what knee pain might feel like, which seems like a joke now. But since learning that I’m sick in this way i’ve discovered how much ableism i’ve internalized. somehow being surrounded by disabled women today healed this nasty little voice that’s been eating at me psychologically while the disease gnawed at my bones.

like, hot damn. people are fucking beautiful.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

hey new draft making

i keep putting this off, but it today arrives! a ramble about ryan selucreh to fill tghe tag for once

(spoilers for mythborne ahead BUT ITS BEEN OUT FOR A WHILE FOR FREE NO PATREON REQUIRED PLEASDE CHECK IT OUT I NEED MORE MYTHBORNE FRIENDS IN MY JRWI MUTUAL CIRCLE)

so who even is ryan selucreh? well, hes a football jock and a big oaf, the stereotypical strong dumb athlete kid. however, theres more to ryan that we're diving into, years after the oneshot ended!

one thing to note on ryan is how his powers were gotten in a mix of ways aster and connor did. aster was born with them (assumed cause goddess mother), connor got them from a book (recieved from searching, wasnt born with it), ryan got his powers from squats. silly, sure, but like i said, its like the inbetween of the two. he has the power himself and doesnt need a book for them or anything, but he wasnt born with them either. i also wanna note how asters powers are like life (plants and the sun, both can symbolize life) and connors powers are like death (decay and disintegrating, both are related back to death), but ryans powers cant be "like" anything. its not something super showy, hes just super strong (strong enough to rip a mountainin half im pretty sure was confirmed).

lwts get into those comments ryan made, and how its reflected across the 3 episodes. yeah, the comments on faking his personality around people and how he doesnt know who he is anymore.

first showing of this is with the j crew. charlie gave a good idea (he was nicknamed jyan), but condi says he told them that. granted, it was probably to be funny, but theres other options to that. ryan missaid his name out of nervousness, the j crew misheard him, he wrote his name really wrong, so many different options that also are pretty comedic. yet, ryan told them he was jyan to join their team.

on the floatball jersey he wears, they didnt even have a 10 for him, simply a jersey with a 1 and a "poorly painted 0". did someone else use the 10? why didnt they have one? another way ryan changed for people symbolically, wearing one number but being another.

ryan joins in with the omnious curse speech despite it not being planned. an attempt to keep fitting in with his group there.

hell, ryan even was an ass to connor before when he was with the j crew, yet wasnt when he was with connor and aster alone.

he even goes out of his way to try and save asters dad, an act of carrying for her and her father. hes such a friendly and caring dude that hes trying to fit in with them all to keep up their friendships.

thats what makes the whole "i dont have a real personality" line mean so much. because he really doesnt. all that can be seen as his personality is simply to appeal to another person.

HELL IM FUCKING CONNECTING IN THE FACT THAR RYAN WAS A HISTORY MAJOR TO THIS! WHO EXPECTS THE JOCK TO LIKE HISTORY? NOT ME, I THOUGHT THAT WAS CONNOR, AND THATS WHY ITS SO INTERESTING, CAUSS NOTHING LEADS YOU TO BELIEVE RYANS INTERESTED IN THAT SHIT!!! ryan barely talks about his past or anything, minus the memory (but that was only to save professor aeliana), BUT HE DIDNT FUCKING BRING IT UP. kinda ironic, the character whos past is pretty unknown is in classes learning about our past.

oh yeah did i ever mention his parents are dead? cause they are (confirmed by condi a while back)

maybe thats why he tries to be so appealing to everyone, to make up for that missing link. i mean, its not like that event wouldnt have some impact on you (also no jrwi pc has gone to therapy from what i know so safe to assume he has no coping skills PLUS ITS A CONDI PC YPU THINK HES MENTALLY STABLE??).

another thing i learned: ryans last name is a backwards hercules. fun call back to the name, yeah, but the actual story may have some weight here...

the screenshot doesnt give the full story, of course, so i will. the picture leaves out how the reason he went through hardships was because he was driven to madness. according to research, hera was mad at hercules being born (for he was the product of zeus and a mortal woman), so she made him go crazy and slaughter his family. to make up for it, he was given 12 impossible tasks to do.

am i saying the full story applys? hell fucking no! i dont think ryan killed his parents or anything, but i think the jist can apply. a man trying to be forgiven by people for wrongdoings that wouldnt have happened if said people didnt make those wrongdoings happen. ryan trying to get the validation of his friends and acquaintances by pretending to be someone hes not, which wouldnt be needed if he could see friends accept people as themselves. given impossible missions (be someone else) to appease those who he looks to (whether its to the side or up to).

another thing to note is theres no episode cover with only ryan on it. cover 1 has all 3, cover 2 has background faceless frat members and connor, and cover 3 has only aster.

it could be from how there was only 3 episodes of mythborne, yet this could be solved by having all 3 in a cover at once. while it would have been a lot, they had all 3 in the first and a total of 4 characyers in thr second cover. this of course was a purposeful choice, and it shows in a way who the focus is meant to be on in that ep (all of them, connor, aster).

so why coupdnt ryan have been focused on in episode 1? yeah he was directly related to the chaos (j crew being first vicitms and shit), yet that clearly had a more general showing. its because ryan isnt a character who can be focused on. he crutches to his friends like a team relys to eachother, thats how he has purpose, thats how hes even a person.

i woulsnt even doubt the stupid bit being an act! to play in a sport, you actually do need good grades (in my school experience, above a C+ in all classes), and ryans been on this team since he started college (infered from dialoge with j crew member), probably since kindergarten even (has known j cre since kindergarten). he learnt it from them, and found it to be a possibly appealing trait of himself to others, everyone likes the lovable idiot! sure, what he does to play an act can be extreme, but if this is really thr coping mechanism i think it is, its not too much for him (also wanna note how of all characters ryan is the biggest stereotype caharacyer).

the 3rd episode btw seemed a lot from the cover and namr and all like the whole world was a fake (for me atleast), and isnt it fitting that ryan was the first to fall off the stage? the man, who had an identity crisis outloud for once after it seemed like one friendgroupd was about to learn his secrets, the first to exit stage down (stage direction jokes). hes been playong a play himself for what feels like his whole life by now, he doesnt need a script.

i came in here to talk about ryan, put him under a microscope, see who he is. really, ryans a shell of a person, a muscle soulless being pretending to be a person someone can love and care about. maybe he too thinks about how connor had changed inside to save him. whatever it is, i think ive not learnt from this who ryan selucreh is, and maybe if he gets aomething like this, he can learn himself who ryan selucreh is.

[doiesfav]

: ̗̀➛ Music, Dance - Ten ||

''It hurts losing passion about something you loved''

Pairing: Artist! Ten x fem! Reader

Plot: Ten, who loves to dance and paint, had to choose one option for his future and his heart went for art so now he owns an art workshop. On the other hand, his passion for dancing slowly started to disappear until y/n appeared.

Genre: Fluff, romance, fiction, slice of life.

Contains: Cuss words, mention of sex

Wc 1k>

A/n: Thanks for supporting me guys, this is really wholesome TT (ngl these fics always become short even tho I planned them to be long)

MASTERLIST

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

(Third person pov)

6 years have passed since Ten chose an art degree over dancing, both were important for him but making that decision was probably one of the toughest moments for him.

After graduating he opened his own art workshop to make a living, it got popular after few weeks because of the activities you could do there. And of course he was more than satisfied knowing all his hard work paid off.

But there is still one more thing. What about dancing? Did he really spend all his life practising dancing just to do nothing about it? And like every normal person would, he lost his passion for dancing.

Ten had no time for it, he was busy with the shop, painting works, and most annoying, dealing with his girlfriend.

Jinna was her girlfriend, they met in university, but after graduating she didn’t pay any attention to Ten at all. Instead, partying outside and drinking was all she could do since her parents were rich, every time she got drunk she would call Ten to come and pick her up just for them to later have emotionless sex.

Ten really wanted her to change but he couldn’t say it straight up, he just kept it for himself and wishing for the non existent thing to happen. But there was something inside him telling him that loosing her would be very painful.

Today a special customer was coming, y/n, a known choreographer. When the time came Ten greeted her and made her sit in the chair, “So how does this work?” She smiled sincerely, “I’m not used to this stuff”, Ten could see the innocence and made her feel comfortable while explaining how it works.

“And you just do it like that, you can express yourself by the painting” After that Ten left when he recieved a message from Jinna.

hey babeee

im sorry if you are still angryyy

I told you i was drunk and it wasnt my intention to fuck him

I was really drunk babeee pls dont be angry

But Ten just ignored it and got back to work, his mind was very messy, and could not process how his girlfriend cheated on him. I mean he could have predicted it but he was still annoyed by the fact that Ten still didn't wanna break up with Jinna.

An hour later Ten got up and went to check on y/n who was almost finished with it. It was a painting of someone in a dance room dancing in front of the mirror, which made Ten feel overwhelmed and brought up some of his memories.

“It is really beautiful” Y/n looked back at Ten and gave him a warm smile. “thank you, I really appreciate it”. Those words made Ten a beat in his heart. ''I was very interested in dancing back then'' He laughed off.

''Really? Why don't you do it now?'' He felt kinda sad after y/n asked that, it was really noticeable. ''Oh, sorry I didn't mean to'' ''No, don't worry, I just grew up and find arts more enjoyable'' It was Ten's first time speaking about dancing after a really really long time. He couldn't remember when was the last time he talked about it.

They both spent their time talking about it, Ten felt like his heart was blooming and felt a strange feeling; as if his younger self was with him. ''Do you wanna come with me after your shift to dance?''

Ten saw it as an opportunity to relieve stress and make himself feel happy after a while. When he closed the shop he went to the dance studio y/n told him to go, it was his first time in such a professional room for dancing. The room was incredibly big, maybe twice the size of the dancing room he used to go to before.

His heart was beating rapidly because of the excitement. ''do you wanna go straight or slowly?'' She giggled while covering her mouth with her hand, ''Let's start slowly, I haven't done this in a very long time'' He laughed off.

''So do you have any favorite danceable song?'', while thinking it hit him that he's never got to think about music too. Suddenly Ten remembered his sister saying ''I love Music, Dance by NCT, you don't know? What a loser'' It was like a week ago, she's been into that boy group lately.

''Um, do you know Music, Dance by NCT?'' y/n seemed surprised, ''Yeaa of course, I did some choreographies for them, then we can start stretching'' Ten felt as his youth started taking over. Was dancing for him always that exciting? While also enjoying the music, moving his body freely was refreshing it was like how snakes shed their skin, except he was shedding his lost passion into something new.

After 2 hours of dancing, they both created a choreography for the chorus of the song, Ten was so proud of himself and deeply appreciate the hard work of y/n too. You two decided to go outside and breath some fresh air.

The aura between you and Ten was very cozy, ''want to do it again?'' Ten shook his head ''I mean I would do it any time you want'' he laughed off. That's when he saw Jinna and a guy holding hands, Ten rubbed his eyes with his hand to check if it really was her, he couldn't believe it.

Then you also catch the couple Ten was seeing, ''What the fuck is she doing'' You understood what was happening at the moment quickly, and he walked to stop her holding hands with the guy.

''Excuse who are you'' The guy who was with Jinna said, ''She's my fucking girlfriend?'' And the guy backed ''Jinna you told me you were single what the fuck'' Then he stormed off seeing annoyed, ''What do you think you are doing, we were over'' Ten looked confused as soon as she said that.

''I've never told you we were over'' She just removed Ten's hands and walked off screaming ''Now we are over dumbass''. He stood there and tears started to fall down his cheek, realizing you should do something you went there and hugged him.

Surprisingly he didn’t reject that hug, but he did cry loudly, you cleared his tears with your hand “Ten you can cry don’t worry, everyone deserves a second chance, so you do” You didn’t know if that helped him more of made him worse “I just don’t know myself anymore, Im lost”

To be honest, you didn’t know how to handle that situation instead you just said “Ten, If something happens Im here, okay?”

Thanks for reading y’all <3 And you could follow because big things are coming (I already said that like a 100 times lmao)

[nikkisixxsgirlfriend]

that girl put a spell on me

eddie munson x hippie!byers!reader

joyce was a hippie in the 60s and 70s you cannot convince me otherwise

you had begun wearing your moms old clothes.joyce never had any complaints about sharing clothes.so you usually borrowed pieces from her closet.and a while ago you found yourself looking at the long skirts and colourful clothes that most definitely belonged to a hippie.you could smell the faint smell of weed on them.and you made fun of your mother about it for days.

until eventually she made fun of you for wearing the same clothes.you were drawn to the clothes,the ideologies,the music and before you knew it you were in ankle length skirts with flowers in your hair.

you didnt really care how people perceived you.and its not like your family wasn't used to the judgement of outsiders.but still you never wore the clothes outside.you kept them in your home where they wouldnt be ridiculed.

until today.you had no clean clothes.your family wasnt exactly the clean sunday morning chores type so after digging through piles and piles you realized that was your only option. so you put the outfit on and mentally prepared yourself.

your mom and will complimented you but you were sweating like crazy.its hard to hide in a small town.and sure it wasnt a big deal,but you knew the kind of shit jason and the cheer team put freaks through.

jonathon could tell you were nervous in the car.

"you look good you know"

"yeah im just worried."

"about what?"

"about those asshole preppies saying something."

"if they say anything i'll beat em up" he offered. which made you burst out laughing. "im serious,i can pack a mean punch." he smiled.

"i dont believe you in the slightest."

"i mean it,last year i managed to beat steve harrington."

"bullshit" you scoffed.

"im serious,he ended up with a black eye for weeks" he rebuttled. the conversation put a smile on your face and distracted you from how nervous you were.

jane chimed in from the backseat telling you how pretty you were."i made you this" she said,handing you a flower crown "max taught me how." you thanked her and put the crown on your head.

no one was going to let you live this down.even if you changed your clothes back tommorow.

you'd made it your goal to not attract attention to yourself at school.to not get a reputation.in a small town a bad reputation doesnt do you any good.

you saw how they treated will,jonathon,jane,hell how they treated eddie munson and all he did was wear a dio jacket.

you walked into school with a smiley sister who had left to talk to max.a glaring older brother who left to talk to his girlfriend.and a younger brother who ran off to talk about dungeons and dragons with his dorky friends.

and thats when it hit.everybody was looking at you.the fact that they stared at you and judged you for something as simple as an outfit pissed you off.yeah yeah you were supposed to be all love and peace but you could hear it.hear them insulting you.calling you a weirdo.making up rumours about how your mom was probably too poor or crazy.

and yeah those rumours might be true but fuck,it made you wanna scream.

"i think you look killer."the voice next to you said,snapping you out of your thoughts. you closed your locker and turned to see eddie munson.

"yeah well i think its just you.before today i had no reputation,and now im the girl who wears hand me downs and hang out with eddie munson."

"you say that like its a bad thing." he smiled.

you two began walking. "its not a bad thing that im talking to you its just that everyone thinks im some whacked out hippie now."

"well,are you?"

"bordering on it.what about you?are you really such a freak?"

"in more ways than one." he joked.

"besides who gives a shit what they think." he continued.

"i do,my family gets enough shit from this town as it is."

"youre taking this very negatively."

"whats not to take negatively?"

"well,youre a freak now." "why thank you eddie,that makes me feel better." "just let me finish.youre a freak now,no matter what you do,you'll always be a freak from now on.so embrace it.do whatever you want.no matter what everyone will think its just you." he turned to you,placing his hand on your shoulder.

"join the dark side __ "

"you are such a nerd" you smiled.

"and you are a nature loving weirdo" he smiled back.

you two kept walking and suddenly you didnt care what everyone was thinking or saying.

"so is it true that hippies like to cut class and go smoke with their friends?" eddie offered.

"this one definitely does." you smiled.placing your flower crown atop eddies head.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

"its true,you really can pack a punch." you laughed,pressing the ice packet to jonathons face.

"told you." he smiled,pointing at a busted up jason.

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

[thephloxbayou]

Im so fucking angry.

I wasnt going to talk about going per protocol but this was so fucking lame it doesn't matter. It was never a threat or a blink on existence.

I went to a local vigil for Aaron Bushnell.

Now, a few things. This is my first time getting to go to anything like this. I have a sleep disorder, and I work nights. Usually activist groupings tend to happen last minute/you find out last minute. I'm far from Boston, on Cape Cod (I've mentioned where i lived generally before hence why I dont mind saying it here), and it's an ordeal to go even for fun. Things rarely happen on days I have off, and if they do, i probably worked the night before or have to that night. I cant take work off, im poor and its hard to get last minute coverage without my job being at risk.

But I found out yesterday about the local vigil. I rested up well before my shift, did it and came home and got very little sleep. But I could manage and that was the point, I could so I should. I had clothes prepped, black bloc even though i didnt expect anything to happen, and dressed for the cold and rain (its closer to 50 today). My phone was at home, my ID and house key in the car, parked some ways away and walked, only had my car key, a water bottle, and a few fruit snacks on me. It started at 1pm but I got there at 2 (lack of sleep plus making sure to eat a good meal just in case rather than run out on a near empty stomach).

I didnt expect a ton, this area is wealthy and white, but I wanted to be ready if anyone of color got harrassed because I have my privilege as a white person. Good to practice anyways. I also felt like maybe the gathering would have more energy, given that it came out that Aaron was a Cape Cod native. Either way, I was prepared to stand outside all day even if the rain that was forecasted was pouring down.

Well I walk up at 2... and they're wrapping up. Everyone (like 45 people) is standing around with signs, but theyre chatting and holding the signs down at their sides. They took a group photo with their signs calling for an end to this horribleness while smiling. I finally managed to say hello to the organizer, and mentioned that I didn't realize everyone would only be here for an hour. "Well it started to rain really hard." People stood around and talked about their anger at our government, and the horrors of whats happening in Palestine, then left because they were cold and it was wet (was listening to conversations and goodbyes. I was wandering on my own, everyone else was with friends). I heard the organizer talking about how he just vacationed in Costa Rica and was going back, then going to some other vacation spot.

My husband was surprised when I came home basically right after I left. I am so deeply angry by how comfortable these people out here are. This is not the first time Ive complained about that, i grew up with a hard life, we came out here on an opportunity, so I wouldnt off myself in the bad situation we had been in, and with his mother's help where she could (he grew up here). Ive never felt comfortable here because these people are living in a different world than I do, and even people who are just normal people and not some rich asshole look at me weird when I say stuff that I consider perfectly normal given where i grew up/class level. You're so angry over this, over the pain the people of Palestine are going through, that you go through the effort of organizing an event, and you stand around and talk about your "anger," and then you LEAVE after an hour because it's a little cold (warmest day we've had in weeks) and it's raining, which was forecasted and you could prepare for???

I havent calmed down. I cant go back to sleep cuz I already took my adderall which i need to stay awake on any regular day with that sleep disorder. I went ready for a fight, I wasnt expecting one but I was prepared, and expected at least a little energy from the group. But nothing. You accomplished nothing but making yourselves feel better.

I wish I could do more. I wish I had money to donate. I wish I had the ability to go physically support activist movement. All just like I wish I could during the summer of 2020. Im constantly torn between recognizing my position and suffering as valid and not a reason to beat myself up for not being able to do more, and feeling like I'm not doing enough and it's just excuses. But I just... cant fucking believe everyone I saw today. I mean yeah, i believe it, i know, i knew, but im just still furious. This is why we're in this fucking position people.

[expensive-rainbows]

cw: SA, intrusive thoughts

ok so i know ive told yall some of this but idk how much ive told yall. so bassically three years ago there was this man who would hold the door for my bus since we always got there late so we would get locked out. keep in mind i know i shouldnt feel obligated to share what i was wearing but i cant help but feel that might be part of the reason why he targeted me. my favorite shirt was a sheer blue shirt that you could see my bra through if you looked close enough. this was during winter and i took my coat off on the bus since i didnt want to deal with it at school. he would ask me if i was a Eskimo (im mexican) and i would tell him no and keep walking. he had jolly ranchers and would give everyone some, but he gave me more than everyone else. he would give me double sometimes triple what everyone else got. i found it creepy so i never ate them, i just put them in my backpack and threw them out at the end of the year. everyday, when he held the door for me, and i watched how he treated everyone else and it was only me, he would take up more and more of the doorway everyday. like the first day he would take up a little, the next he would take up a little more, until he got to the point where he wasnt touching me (since im pretty sure its illegal) but that i knew he could if he wanted to. at the same time he would wait outside my fifth hour while we all waited in a line since my teacher went to the bathroom before class. he started by standing in the center of the hallway, and didnt leave until i made eye contact with him. everyday he got closer, until again he didnt touch me, but he was less than a foot away, and he had me cornered. i knew he could do whatever he wanted and no one would see. this lasted about two weeks and ended on december 16, 2023. I remember because it was a thursday and i was so happy the next day when he disappeared. idk if it was just this or something else that ive blocked out, but im terrified of men. like just in general. its been three years and i cant look my band teacher in the eye. ive had him for three years. i couldnt hug my dad for the first three months. my dad is one of the nicest people ive ever met. i know he would never knowingly take advantage of someone. i cant talk to my english teacher alone, i need my friend to go with me to ask to go to the bathroom. but dont worry this is a happy story. so sorry but im gonna give yall even more context. so my school take all the music kids of my grade to a like smaller amusement park, which isnt near us, its a good drive to get there. its kind of a big deal. plus we have one in our town, but its a lot smaller than the one we went to. so anyway the trip was today, and the band group took a picture together. i was in the back row, and idk if the guys in front of me knew i was there or how close i was to them but i was pretty close. like i could see the creases on the back of one of their necks. i could smell him. (he had some sort of cologne on, not axe body spray but close) but i didnt freak out or anything. like i noticed, but i didnt go home and have a panic attack or anything, i wasnt convinced that he was gonna r@pe me, nothing. i was fine. do you have any idea how long its been since i could say that. since i could say that i was fine and mean it. i didnt have a panic attack, didnt hurt myself (i did break my streak a little big ago, but thats because since were at the end of the school year im very sleep deprived and i have exams and i started working plus taekwondo so im busy and tired. and when im tired i take everything personally) its been three years since i could say i was fine and truly mean it. i still get a little weird around guys/men, but its getting better. now its only physical proximity, i can look them in the face! i know this probably sounds sad but im honestly happy. also quick question.

[just-eyris-things]

im moody so let me talk about my characters and why i am rewriting them so much

SUPER LONG POST. I mean it.

some of you have been following me for quite a while, some of you are a bit newer to my blog, some of you might be seeing this and be thinking "who the fuck are you" and to answer that question - hi, im eyris and i have perma gw2 brainrot!

well that was not where i was going. where i was going was "some of you have seen what my characters have been through and that i quite often rewrite them"

so today i'd like to talk about that a little bit. why is it happening, for the start.

I guess the best answer would be that i am getting better ideas and i am getting better at articulating them. i am also growing as a person, which also changes how i view my characters and what i want to say with their story. and sometimes i feel like things are cringe because not many people like my stuff. in no way i mean to fish for likes, no, i am contempt with what im getting (most of the time). what i mean is that i still feel like this very small and cringy blog among so many great people who have much bigger following, better stories, better art, better...everything, really. i guess a part of me wishes to catch up to them, be more like them, even if that is...1. impossible and 2. probably very stupid in your eyes.

so there's that. now, let's go over some of my characters and how they've changed across the years.

EYRIS, the main-main, game-wise and story-wise changes.

Eyris was my very first character, initially she had no story. TBF when i started gw2 my english wasn't so good and i was very lost with the game's story. I mean, i thought the Elder Dragons were some big bad organisation! Some people called themselves Dragons, something like this. As I said - my English wasnt very good back than. TBF I was like....15, I think. Yeah. I also somehow convinced myself I had to keep Eyris as a sylvari because other 4 character slots were for other 4 races and i had to keep them free! But I loved playing Eyris! SO! I fucking. I fucking deleted Eyris and made her again. over. and over. and over. and over and over and over and over.

AND THEN I went to a theatre on a school trip and we watched a play and the very handsome actor played a teacher named Mister Ross. I was 16 at a time (I think), so of course I was like "I like that name" and... I deleted Eyris for the final time and remade her as Eyris Ross. I had no idea that sylvari, according to canon, had no surnames. So when the time came when I started designing more lore-compliant story for her, my initial idea was that she was in love with a human and thats how she got her surname but he "died or something" and thats why she was now traversing Orr. I remember writing a scene of Eyris entering a Pact tent with Trahearne conversing with other leaders and she went completely off because she was sent on a suicide mission to scout Arah before going after Zhaitan and only she came back. Yeah. That....was a time. Somewhere in that time I also realised I did not like Ross backstory but I didnt want to delete Eyris again, I grew super attached (also all thjat crafting was developed completely...) so I changed her name to...Eyris of the Night. Because she was a Nightbloom and because someone took "Eyris" and I was sad about it. Still am, tbh. Somewhere then also Anriin came to be. A Priory scholar, quite mean... and she was Eyris's girlfriend who killed her in HoT because Eyris was getting corrupted! So tragic! But I scratched that off because I didn't vibe with it. I think I still have sketches though from that time so if I find them I will post them. I was 19 at the time when Eyris/Anriin was a thing. Then the Soundless plot came in. And then...

I used to have a friend. A best friend, actually. We were a package deal. So of course we bound our stories together. Eyris was just someone who happened to be there. She wasn't the Commander or the Dragon's champion. She was Just Some Plant that happened to be at a place at a time and ended up befriending the Commander (that friend's OC). Then Tragic Backstory TM happened. Eyris was a Soundless who was taken by the Nightmare Court. She was saved by a group of mercenaries (Idk who hired them. don't think too much about it). The group consisted of a young charr gladium (love interest), asura twins (siblings figures) and a norn elder (father figure). there was also a Mean Human Girl TM who bullied her because ???? and there was a drama in the group and the Mean Girl then fucking lured them into a trap (the Undead are attacking!) and everyone fucking died! Eyris survived and Trahearne saved her from the risen. Ever since Eyris hated necromancy (death magic, connection to zhaitan, zhaitan killed her loved ones) and mesmers (the Mean Girl was a mesmer). Eyris tracked her for years and she brutally murdered her in the jungle during HoT (how did the Mean Girl end up in Maguuma in the first place???) but revenge didnt help, it only drew her closer to mordremoth. Also her dog died in HoT (Mordremoth corrupted it and she had to kill it)

And then PoF time. She went to the desert. Why? I don't know. She went there and befriended a wild jackal pack for reasons unknown until today. That's how she got her mount and friend, Aiari. A few years ago Eyris became a Dragon Champion because I wanted to get her to have more story involvement and significance. And some time later I scratched off the Mercenary Group and changed them into Just A Norn Dad plot.

Currently Eyris's story is actually in this google docs right here but recently I had a Big Think and realised that No, the Vigil would NOT be swayed! So... you can take a peek on how it looks for now. Big Thanks to my friend Awerzo who shared her idea of character timelines. I stole it. It helps.

I am pretty sure I forgot some plots that existed for some time hhh

MOVING ON. AIRELL. The second Main.

Remember that friend I mentioned in Eyris's story? Well, Airell was initially created with their Commander in mind as his love interest. It did not fly. OG Airell was a shallow fuckboy that flirted with everything that moved. Then I wanted to add trauma because that's what you do, so Nightmare Court Boyfriend!!! Yeah it... didn't fly.

Then there was "unrequited love for Trahearne" plot, and after HoT Airell shut down and left for the mountains. They were supposed to be alone in their grief and die alone. but my earlier mentioned friend asked if they could make a friend for Airell. I reluctantly agreed. And so, Ewyn Rhosyn came to be. Ewyn and Airell had such a great chemistry that even if me and my friend said "just friends", these two fictional chartacters decided to date. Honestly, one of my fondest memories. I still cannot recreate a similar chemistry that these two characters had and believe me, I TRIED SO HARD.

Anyway, before Ewyn... Airell's grief was accompanied by a wish to forget all the pain they had endured. They set off to find djinn as they heard that the djinn could grant wishes. In hopes they could wish for erasing some painful memories, they looked for them, at the same time growing ravenous. When Airell finally encountered a djinn and learned that djinn magic did not work the waythey hoped for, they succumbed to hunger and ate a poor guy. Airell realised they could satiate their hunger with magic and so they became the ravenous djinn eater. Yeah. No, scratch all that. As much as I liked the concept, as a creator I wanted Airell to be likable, and let's be honest. eating people is not really the way to go, is it? Yeah......soooo then i decided to make them suck magic out of people (without killing them). Djinn eater became Deldrimor's Banshee, then I changed the name to Deldrimor's Siren, since I really liked that scary Fear Not This Night version.

As my friend and I lost touch, I held onto Airell and Ewyn for some time and then ditched it for my own sanity. I really liked the name Thorns and Roses though so I made my own gay rose mender - Achilles Flameshaper, who after losing his healing abilities became a therapist on a remote island for people who needed refuge (Whale Tail Island, or as I like to call it - Therapy Island).

The idea was that after Airell reawakened in the heart of Maguuma after the events of HoT concluded and after they learned of Trahearne's unfortunate fate, they mourned and succumbed to the magic hunger and was looking for the source of that big magic signature (cough balthazar cough), in their vinetooth form (pic below) they met Achilles and Eyris heading to the Commander's wedding. Achilles was just giving her a ride. Achilles and Eyris fought the lost mordrem in order to secure the area. Airell gets hurt, detransforms, oh no it's airell! oh no what do we do! Achilles takes Airell to the Island because clearly Airell is both physically and mentally hurting. While that part remains canon for Airell until today, their big romance with Achilles did not bloom as I planned. but you know what started vibing with me? TRAMMANDER. Because I decided to make Airell the commander from PS until the start of HoT and then reassign the commander-ship to them somewhere in the middle of PoF (thanks Nia Furaha for holding the line from HoT to PoF!). And if Trammander is canon.... then we're back to Trahearne angst. and guys, I needed to rework that too, so...

I added the whole Trahearne resurrection (ritual goes wrong! not clickbait!) idea! I am still SOOO vibing with it pls ask me questions about this im vibrating!!!!!!!

The Ewyn plot in PoF/LWs4 is CRAZY and I would need a separate post for that but I dont have time for that. Instead, let me tell you a fun fact - Airell died 1.5 times. 1 - stabbed during HoT and put in a blighting pod, and 0.5 in LWs4 when they got swallowed by Kralk and everyone thought they died but then kralk threw them up (sorry Airell).

NIA FURAHA

Nia was fun. A nice human commander, initially she was supposed to take the role of a commander after me and my friend stopped talking, but with time i decided to pass that role in majority to Airell.

Initially, Nia had a backstory. Which accidentally came out racist, so I won't be talking much about it. What I can talk about comfortably are her vigil years.

OG Nia joined the Vigil to protect people. She became a commander through recommendation and battle prowess. She was proud to be the commander, the hero of Tyria. But then I was replaying LWs2 and had thoughts. I thought what if Nia joined the Vigil to escape Anise's clutches. What if they wanted to get Nia into Shining Blade and she didn't want that? I had that storyline for some time but I don;'t like the person this makes Nia. She would not survive the dragon war with that motivation. So...I'm reworking her again when it comes to her role as a Pact soldier and Part-Time Commander.

Freya Wyldwolf

Freya has a long story. She started off as Freya Riverblade. Which is funny because I played hammer on her. Reasons? It was her father's hammer. Her father "left for a hunt and never came back" (as in he "died or something". again). Her mother was bitter, tried to get her life back together but with a wrong person and freya got a half sister. Her mother hated that child because we need that plot (insert eyeroll here pls) and Freya got her motivation to join the Vigil (previously she was a Whispers agent but only because I liked Tybalt ok).

But scratch all that. Freya now has a twin, her name is Wyldwolf, and her half sister was not neglected. Her mother was not the mother of the year but she tried. Freya comes from a long line of OG Wolf followers, so theres always "wolf" in the second name of her family. She is from Cragstead and is besties with Braham.

Also in IBS she killed a corrupted Spirit of the Forest (cough reworked boneskinner cough) and her name changed to Freya Spiritkiller, she did not take it well and is currently MIA.

....

There's also Yvrell but I'm not vibing with it right now also this post is super long and i've been typing it for hours so.

Yeah.

Thanks for reading, Bye. Or something. Love you.

[away-ward]

Hey KO, I'm new to dn, and just finished it today! I know that this is not a devils night confirmation info page or anything, but i just would like to know your interpretation of will's line of "she was hot in the shower, on the beach, on the wall, on the hood of his car under the rain, in his bed". By the end of nightfall, i dont even know which one is the truth or which one is the lie because will grayson lies so much. Like did he actually did all that? So how tf am i supposed to see him as a great romantic book hero? Like, idk im so confused rn. By the end of nightfall, i ended up only loving emory scott from this series, and hating will grayson. I was so disappointed when we didnt get enough banks by fire night. But shes my second favourite.

and what do you think were the things will lied about or the things he said the truth was? And wtf was he saying about alex being his safe place and port on the strom? Why did that sound like rika when she talks about kai, because michael was it for her, and only with michael, rika felt everything she needed and wanted to? Was that what will meant? That he still wnated emory because unlike alex who only made him laugh to forget his pain and enable him, emory was the one he wanted to feel everything with? Was that also the reason he said that emmy was the only perosn who knew what he felt always? Like the true him? The one not even damon, his bff knew?Because then pd sure as hell didnt do a good job executing this. They were too convoluted in their execution, these messages didnt stand out immediately.

ahhhh im so confused? Like whats going in nightfall? And emmy fucking alex? Huh? But tbh unlike other readers, i can see why emmy needed that moment though even though i was like? I cant see her bonding with damon like that hence why i thought its understandable she didnt go over the edge with will and damon in the locker room scene. Aside from pride and fear, i dont think she would want them to think that she would settle down for scraps and ONS in high school while she was still not free. But alex (and will and aydin) just pisses me off here in nightfall like how the horsemen pissed me off from the way they treated rika in corrupt.

and funnily enough i think even this point is recycled from hideaway. Like think about it yeah, in hideaway, when banks attacked rika, kai explained why he was close to her and he said something like "even after everything, she still befriended us, talked to us, forgive us" yada yada yada, so does that mean, IMPLICITLY, even after everything, emmy would still accept alex, aydin and will, even when they're being ugly like that? Because it felt eerily similar, yk. And that train scene with kai and michael, as much as they pissed me off, i can see why michael and kai said that because they were probably testing her loyalty and see if she's here in even for the ugly. When i put on that lense it made sense.

tbh i dont agree with a lot of weird shit in dn, but i can see why. But for some reason will's personality and characterisation + lies always made me second guess everything in nightfall. Because wtf? Sure, damon used to be his heroine (not a good thing) and alex was his port in the storm (not a good thing too) so wtf is he doing with his life then?? Only with emmy, his life starts? Is he dumb or something? 😭☠️ im so sorry im just confused wtfff? And not damon and alex being bffs and still cant read him outside of only knowing emmy was his everything, and the reason why he might even get out of blackchurch (oh and i theorise earlier that when rika asked michael what was his plan for will in conclave, i suspected he wanted tosend emmy there. I think he knew she could handle it. I mean she did lmao) and didnt even knew about his plans with grandpa? But emmy be figuring out everything (like a bloodhound will said), and the only reason she couldnt find out earlier was because 1. she wasnt beside him, 2. things were happening outside of her knwoledge, 3. She was lied to by will or manipulated by aydin? Uuh? How tf are these people even bffs and considered smart honestly? Wtf? Do they not have a brain? They have 8 people fgs 😭 emmy literally the only one with brain, wanting to ACTUALLY escape and not act like want to escape but actually want to stay and have hidden motives (cough alexaydinwill cough) dang, these horsemen be thick in the head eh?

KO, i would really like to know what you think of these. Like wtf is going on? How are they gonna build an empire with these brains? And rika being mayor at 22? WHAT IS GOING ON AHAHAHAHAH stop. Like i dont even hate dn, atp i only dislike some characters and some things, but its bad soap opera, im enjoying my confusion and having a good time weirdly?

its bad soap opera, im enjoying my confusion and having a good time weirdly?

If there was ever a tag line for Devil’s Night, it would be this.

Welcome? Congrats on making it through. It’s an accomplishment, for sure.

I’m definitely not a confirmation page or anything. If anything, I see the series totally different than a lot of people – especially Will. I’m not sure if I’ll say anything that makes the pain better, but I’m always happy to talk about it.

i just would like to know your interpretation of will's line of "she was hot in the shower, on the beach, on the wall, on the hood of his car under the rain, in his bed". By the end of nightfall, i dont even know which one is the truth or which one is the lie because will grayson lies so much. Like did he actually did all that? So how tf am i supposed to see him as a great romantic book hero?

Yeah, I absolutely think Will did all those things with Alex. All that and more.

But it wasn’t special. They were both sleeping with multiple people. Alex was sleeping with Michael’s father, for example. Sure, they probably enjoyed each other’s company more than they did with others, but I never saw any evidence of anything romantic between them. And in a series about characters that started having sex without commitment as early as 14 or 15, I don’t see this as odd behavior on their part.

For instance, it was odd behavior for Kai to NOT be having sex in Corrupt. That was his whole part of his storyline. So, Will carrying on from where he left off before prison was normal and expected.

I do agree that Will saying this is cruel. He’s intending to hurt Emory. But this isn’t the first time he’s done this. It actually echoes what he used to say in high school.

He said something similar in her room the night he tried to end things with her. When Will wants to hurt Emory, he reminds her he has options. And Emory has no problem using his casual slutiness to try and hurt him in return, but that's besides the point. The point is the question this brings up:

Does he actually want those options?

I think we can all read that scene and know both of them are lying. Will says himself he doesn’t want anyone but her. However, when Emory comes back that she was just using him, seeing what all the fuss was about, and now she’s done with him, he’s hurt. He wants her in all ways, but she's saying she doesn't want him. So he tries to cover it up. He's lying. He doesn't care about any of the other "options", he just wants her to be jealous and hurt like he's jealous and hurt.

In Blackchurch the situation is slightly different. He wants to hurt her for other reasons, not just because she didn’t want him like he wanted her. However, I think apart of just how vicious his anger got was him frantically trying to build a wall to protect himself. If he didn’t manage to find a way to defend himself against whatever it is about Emory that draws him to her like a moth to a flame, he risked bearing himself to her cruelty again. I’m not sure if he was ready to do that. So he relied on his anger and the same old tactics that worked before. In the scene you mentioned, he's just giving his "options" a face.

I mean, if you don’t see him as a romantic hero, there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s not a lot about the Present timeline/Blackchurch arc that is romantic. But I do find both of these characters sympathetic in some ways, and I’m happy they found a way to happiness with each other after all this time.

i ended up only loving emory scott from this series, and hating will grayson. I was so disappointed when we didnt get enough banks by fire night. But shes my second favourite.

A completely normal reaction, honestly. I think it’s safe to say most have been there. I know that’s where I started at when I finished the series.

And wtf was he saying about alex being his safe place and port on the strom? Why did that sound like rika when she talks about kai, because michael was it for her, and only with michael, rika felt everything she needed and wanted to?

…no matter what anyone tells you, you don’t need to read the Rika and Banks bonus scene. Save yourself.

because unlike alex who only made him laugh to forget his pain and enable him, emory was the one he wanted to feel everything with? Was that also the reason he said that emmy was the only perosn who knew what he felt always? Like the true him? The one not even damon, his bff knew?

Yes, exactly.

Damon and Alex indulged Will. They were so enamored with this boy with childish tendencies – this Peter Pan-like man – that they were willing to let him destroy himself rather than expect more.

Alex did it because she was also hiding from reality. Damon did it because he wanted Will to never lose what made him so enthusiastic about life. Will should never be in pain. Because Damon was completely consumed by the hatred and anger in him, and he’d placed all his happiness and what was left of his goodness in other people. It was important to him to protect that in Will. Of course, this means that both Alex and Damon see what they want to see in Will, and not necessarily what’s there.

Because Will wanted to grow up. When Emory was leaving him in high school, she said she didn't want to be someone he needed to take care of, someone pathetic with a lot of baggage he'd get sick of. What she didn't understand is that Will desperately wanted to take care of her. He wanted to hold that baggage, and he was patient enough to never get tired of holding it. He wanted to be a man, and to be important to people, and be dependable and relied on. He came from a world where no one needed him. He was just there. I recall how when Will was tucking Emory in after homecoming. The conversation they had about what Will's future looked like. It was joke, but apart of Will wanted to be the important man in the great suit for Emory. That's how he imagined their future - sans Heidi.

If he could get Emory to love him… if he could be special enough for her, and be the only one she went to when she needed something – love, affection, happiness, help… other people didn't need him like that, but he really wanted to be that for Emory. He wanted to be that important to her. Problem was he had no idea how much help she really needed. It was all a fantasy that was never going to happen, because Emory was not the girl he thought she was. Once he realized that, he was hurt that she wouldn’t even try to depend on him. He was that unreliable.

And then, when he gets out of prison, he finds out that Damon lied to him about who leaked the videos and then disappears, Kai and Michael are having their usual bromance, leaving him out of the plans, and who does leave him with?

Alex. So he hides in her. And Alex hides in him, but Alex also doesn’t need him to be anything other than there. She can take care of herself, she has a roster of callers. She's taken care of. He doesn’t have to be a man for her. They let each other be weak without judgement, but eventually even Will gets tired of that, and starts down that "inevitable road" to growing up without her.

He can’t make a commitment to Alex, anyway. Because in his heart, he knows it’s still only Emory that he wants to be that man for.

and funnily enough i think even this point is recycled from hideaway. Like think about it yeah, in hideaway, when banks attacked rika, kai explained why he was close to her and he said something like "even after everything, she still befriended us, talked to us, forgive us" yada yada yada, so does that mean, IMPLICITLY, even after everything, emmy would still accept alex, aydin and will, even when they're being ugly like that?

There are so many recycled plot points and beats throughout this series, it’s a little exhausting to count. Still, I hadn’t considered it from this angle.

Emory as Rika, forgiving Alex, Aydin, and Will the way that Rika forgave the horsemen.

Wow. Galaxy brain.

Regardless. I still hate Aydin and refuse to accept him as part of their little family. He’s gross, and I hope he and Alex go off on one of their adventures and never come back, and the group just forgets they were ever there.

Unlike most around here, I don't mind Alex’s presence totally (I’m more irritated with her overall character execution than her role within the story, but that’s for a different time), except for the fact that she married that man. I do absolutely hate her for that.

that train scene with kai and michael, as much as they pissed me off, i can see why michael and kai said that because they were probably testing her loyalty.

I don’t think they were testing her loyalty. Well, maybe Michael was. Another anon several months ago suggested Michael was also trying to keep Emory close for Will. Which, that’s an interesting thought.

Kai, I think, was just salty and still consumed with guilt over getting arrested and needed to project a little.

“We didn’t deserve that?”

Oh, so Emory deserved to have her grandma ripped away from her and put in a home where she would most certainly be neglected and die?

You guys actually committed those crimes, regardless of whether they were for a good reason. Emory did nothing to deserve the way her brother was treating her. Please get over yourself.

tbh i dont agree with a lot of weird shit in dn, but i can see why

Honestly… same.

i suspected he wanted tosend emmy there. I think he knew she could handle it. I mean she did lmao

This!

I think this would have been a much better plot, though. Yes, because I hate Aydin and his storyline, but also because this makes more sense!

It makes more sense that Will would find the letter and disappear. Once they figured out he’s in Blackchurch, Kai would have more understanding of what that kind of environment would do to Will. I think he said that Will stopped eat? I could be misremembering though.

So to motivate Will, they could give him something he wanted, like coaxing a dog from a shed with a treat.

Or I could go on replotting the entire thing. I think what the point is, is that almost anything would have been better than what actually happened.  

emmy literally the only one with brain, wanting to ACTUALLY escape and not act like want to escape but actually want to stay and have hidden motives (cough alexaydinwill cough) dang,

While I appreciate Emory being unwilling to give up and continuing to fight, the truth is that she was being a little stupid. Just a little.

They were on an island, off the coast of Canada, in the middle of October. She had no clothes except what she was wearing (which was usually boxer shorts and a button up shirt?), and usually only managed to grab at most two days’ worth of food.

She was going to let her pride and inability to face Will get her killed.

Now, I don’t doubt for a second Emory’s drive for survival. It’s possible she would have figured out how to live in the wilderness. The best option, however, would have been to play nice with Alex and Will. Not be friends. Just Be. Nice.

If Alex was right and the team was coming to save them, great. She’ll be taken off the island. She can hit the ground running in the opposite direction as soon as her feet hit pavement.

If Alex was wrong and the team wasn’t on their way, when it got close to the thirty days, she could sneak away then, so she only had to plan on surviving outside the house for a short while until the supplies team came. At which point she’d have the freedom to move about. Either talk to a member of the team or sneak aboard whatever transport they came in.

But either way, she’d need to survive in the house, and getting as many people on her side as possible (which would mean stop antagonizing everyone who pissed her off) would have been a smarter move. Emory needed to be prepared to play the long or short game. Blackchurch was not Thunder Bay. Being a lone wolf was going to get her nothing useful.

However, if she did that, we wouldn’t have our beloved Emory, would we. Much like Will, I love that she never let the opportunity to snap at them pass.

This isn't to say that Emory isn't one of the smartest people in the group. I have no doubt that her and Banks run circles around them any day of the week. Just that in this particular situation, she was not doing her best. Understandable, though. She was only a little stressed out.

How are they gonna build an empire with these brains? And rika being mayor at 22? WHAT IS GOING ON AHAHAHAHAH stop.

Yeah, I don’t know. That whole “rule the world” thing really bugs me. One, why did Damon only include his sisters and not the whole family?

Two, why does Banks have to do everything Damon wants? When does she get to choose?

Three, I don’t mind the idea of Rika being mayor…eventually. But Rika has barely graduated college. What experience does she have to run the town. I’d have much rather they used someone like Katsu or Vittoria or Matthew Grayson as a placeholder until Rika was old enough.

If there’s anything that we learned from the Rika and Banks bonus scene, is that Rika still really suffers from insecurities and embarrassment too much. Why is she letting a 20-year-old bully her over something that happened 15 years prior, and for something that is completely normal in their social circles? I don’t trust Rika to run a PTA without falling victim to peer pressure. Who gave her a town?

Four, …they own an Inn, an amusement park that’s only open like one-three months a year, a dojo, and a humanitarian project. They’re rich kids playing with the money they inherited, doing a lot of nothing, and making more money for themselves. Exactly what empire are we building here?

Yeah… anyway. I don’t know why I’m still here. Other than, I love these stupid characters and want better for them. I wanna play with them like dolls. It's s all pretty dumb though.

Thanks for stopping by! Hope you have fun while you here. Come back and talk to me again sometime.

Ko

[crowned-peony]

@kingkatsuki Thank you for the support and I really hope your blind date♡ I probably did his character all wrong but just thought you deserve a pretty and sweet guy that thinks you are an angel and is in love with you♡♡ Also please pick a number between 1 and 6

Two friends were laughing and smiling running through the streets. One friend was holding the other's hand pulling her behind her.

“Jo hurry! They are going to sell out of the new drink again” your friend yelled and pulled you a bit more

“It wasnt my fault we are running late! You were one on your phone instead of getting ready” you yelled back and tried to keep up with them

“A cute boy sometimes is worth more than a drink” they said and laughed a bit

“Then why are we running?” you said with a smirk

“Oh shut up! We are almost there and I wont pay for your drink if you keep it up!” they said and turned back to glare at you.

They stopped in front of a small cafe. The door had a paper wreath made out of hearts. On the windows were large glitter hearts taped on. Both walked in and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and vanilla filled the cafe. There were few people sitting at tables that had white table clothes, confetti hearts spread around a pink or red vase that was filled with white or red carnation flowers.

“ Jo you can go pick a table and ill go order the drinks okay”

You nodded and looked around the cafe while they got in line. All the tables looked cute and you were having a hard time deciding where to sit until one caught your eye. The flowers weren’t pink or red but a soft lavender color and the confetti was a mix of bows and roses. You made your way to the bale and got lost in looking at people holding hands, sharing drinks and even some couples were singing love songs to each other. Just nothing but cuteness and love surrounded you and you frowned a bit wishing it was you sharing a moment like that with some.

A pink drink with whipped cream and pink colored sugar was placed in front of you, bringing you back to reality.

“Oh that was fast! I thought it would take much-” you looked up to someone that definitely wasn't your friend.

He holds out a note and sits down with his own pink drink.

“Your friend said to give this to you”

You take the note and keep looking at him suspiciously before looking around and not seeing your friend anywhere. You give a quick sigh before deciding you are going to read the note and thinking of ways you are going to make your friend pay for leaving you and having a stranger sit with you.

Hope you have fun, beautiful! Please give him a chance! He is a really nice guy and i spent all morning setting this up! I really feel you both could have this spark! Ill txt you later! Love you :3

You had no doubt your friend did give this stranger the note, you recognized that tiny handwriting anywhere. He was just looking at you while taking sips of his drink. At least he looks cute and you don't feel like he would be a threat.

You both sat there in silence just looking at each other until he decided to talk.

“Are you Jo by any chance? Your friend talks about you but you are prettier than any words can do you justice, Im Chigiri. I hope you are liking your drink. Your friend said you been wanting to try it as she handed it to before they ran out”

“Oh yeah that's me and do they talk a lot about me? And it's pretty sweet so i'm really liking it”

“Yeah they talk about how you are sunshine, how you are a wonderful friend and give the best advice, how passionate about writing you are and just how fun and loving you are”

“Oh” was all you could say, blushing how the compliments sounded so lovely coming from his voice. You smiled at him and took a few more sips from your drink hoping it would give you some time to calm down.

“Its so good, i really hope it stays a while and just not a today thing”

He smiles and nods, thinking he would love to see you always seeing you smile. You look like an angel. He swears that the way the sun is giving you a soft warm glow is a masterpiece that belongs in every art museum. People should be honored to be able to enjoy your beauty. He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and says excuse me as he pulls it out to see who it could be and ready to yell at someone for interrupting the moment. It was a text message from your friend

Chigiri! Hope things are well and you better be nice to her!! Could you please go to the front counter! There's another surprise for you both and please, please make your way to the heart by 3:00pm!! DO NOT BE LATE!!!!

A second later an image of a poorly drawn map was sent and it had a heart sticker on it. It looks to be a few blocks away. He hands you the phone.

“Any chance you know what's there? I'm not familiar with the area”

You shake your head and try looking for the place on maps.

“There seems like nothing's there or i couldn't find anything”

You both lost in thought wondering what could be there. Maybe a prank? At least you could walk there with a handsome man so if it was a prank at least it would be a bit worth it.

“Do you want to go see?” he asked, a bit nervous.

“Yeah, I mean like we can at least figure out the mystery together right?”

He just nods and realizes that message said to go to the counter. He was just about to excuse himself and get up when a worker comes up to the table and places a slice of cake down. It looks like something out of a magazine, the frosting looks so pretty and fluffy, the chocolate hearts are so perfect and look to be from expensive chocolate.

“Enjoy the rest of your date and you both are such a cute couple!” the worker said before smiling at you both and leaving while humming along to the song that was playing over speakers. You look down at the table blushing and flustered at the comment. His eyes sparkle with how cute you look blushing and he can't hold back his smile. You really are so precious. Once your heart calmed down a bit you took the fork that was on the plate and took some of the cake and a bit of extra frosting and held out the fork offering him the first bite. His heart beats faster and he swore that you must be an angel and just he must have cashed in all his good luck from past lives for this day. You hope that the cake is as yummy as it looks. He gently takes the fork from you with his non-dominant hand to be able to hold your hand. He loves how soft and warm your hands are, he loves how he feels like he is meant to hold it for the rest of his life. He wants to hold your hand forever and not let go.

Not letting your hand go he ate the bit of cake and smiled. “It really is good!” you were about to let his hand go to take the fork to try it when he goes and just like you did offers you a bit of it. You lean in and taste the sweetness of the frosting and wish you were actually tasting it from his lips and not from the fork.

You both took turn enjoying the cake and talking until it was about time to leave for the mystery place. He left an nice tip for the worker and held door open for you.

“Oh you look amazing, im sorry i forgot to tell you. Your hair is one of the prettiest i have seen and the designer of the dress would be honored that you are wearing it.”

“Oh stop it, and you look not bad yourself”

“Thank you” was all he said with a small blush and held your hand and tried figuring out what direction the map was pointing at. After a bit of wrong turns and you both asking around you finally found the place.

You both look at each other confused. There was no signs and the windows were blacked out.

“Should we knock?”

“I really am going to make them pay for the prank….”

The door opens and someone with a uniform comes out. Rockabye Arcade was in big letters on the shirt.

“Welcome to Rockabye Arcade! I am guessing you are Jo and Chigiri?”

Yep thats us!” you said happily. An arcade! You've been bothering your friend that you should go to one soon!

“Well come in! It might be a bit dusty but all the games work and the prizes were just put out today”

“Why isnt there a sign? We couldnt find anything on the map either” Chigiri asked him as you both went inside.

“Oh your friend paid a nice amount to have the place open a few days early just for you both! There's a few workers along with me today so just yell if you need anything or make your way to the prize counter there should be someone always there! Enjoy your date” he said and walked away from you both to the other side of the arcade.

“Wait?! We have the whole place to ourselves???”

“Your friend must really love you”

“I am buying them so much ice cream as a thank you!! Omg lets go try the racing games first!!”

You ran to the mario kart racing game pulling him behind you. He thought about how he will be buying your friend a coffee everyday for a while to thank them for this day. A small dent in his wallet is worth it to be able to remember this day forever.

He let you win many of the games but did get a bit competitive at some. He won you most of the squishmellows you wanted from the crane games and with the tickets won you both agreed on some small trinkets and matching plastic rings and bracelets. By the end of the date you had so much fun you didn't want it to end.

He walked you to your house and carried most of the squishmallows except for a red fox that you wouldn't stop hugging. You told him you had renamed him but refused to tell him the new name. Once you got to your house you asked for his phone and you added your contact to it and sent yourself a quick message with his name to later add his contact to your phone. You thanked him for the wonderful day and before you finally said goodbye gave him a kiss on cheek before going inside.

He was a blushing mess.

Right before you went to bed you sent him a selfie of you holding the red fox along with a message.

His name is Chigiri Jr. ♡ 💋

[souryogurt64]

ur panic essay sent me into a spiral last night i can’t believe that’s how brent ended up

yeah the police report loudwire obtained said they were seeking warrants for his phone and computer and its since been taken over by the federal government instead of the state of nevada so they are probably waiting to charge him with dealing heroin until thats over because the amount of heroin that was supposedly in his car is worth something like 9k. im not like a heroin expert but it seems like a lot of heroin and there were scales in the car too.

i didnt want to say this in the brent essay because so much of what i was claiming was already kind of speculative but when i was writing the peteryan essay i ran into ryan ranting about how he had gotten a speeding ticket in brents "rich neighborhood" and the stuff about them using their house to practice and borrowing money from him for their van led me to believe they only kept him in the band for those reasons and then as soon as fever went gold and they had the upcoming tour they didnt need him for that anymore.

this was compounded by the fact that it seemed like brendon was implying he was owed brents share of the royalties and they got into it legally and then blake said brent won, though i dont think thats entirely true. similarly brendon also went on to sue shane over a financial dispute and that suit was dismissed by a judge which is character evidence imo

i dont doubt that brent was not able to keep up with them professionally and he was not doing a good job of being in a band and obviously panic were not responsible for whatever choices he made but spencer and ryan also ended up seriously addicted to drugs as well

and i feel like the way they handled it was shitty and immature. a couple people got upset about the essay but i stand by what i said the mtv writer i talked about actually went all the way to brents house in las vegas which seemed a bit excessive to me so its clear he saw a story there and he kept harping on the same themes in every single article he wrote about panic

later the same mtv writer was accused of helping tank the young veins career because he had it out for ryan. i dont know how accurate that is because i was like ten in 2009 and busy playing with littlest pet shops instead of reading mtv but the articles were incredibly brutal.

ryan and brendon (mostly ryan) developed kind of an attitude about pete during pretty odd and there was the whole wentzlee-ross sleepover incident that immediately preceded the split and then during the split, which was literally a month after the sleepover (where pete was tweeting it up about how ryan was his bestie), that writer made some pretty brash accusations that pete no longer considered ryan a friend despite saying pete refused to comment which a publication like mtv absolutely would not have gotten away with unless he and pete were deliberately playing a mind game which seems in character if you read the book they cowrote lol, as does some of the plausibly deniable sarcasm in the articles

i genuinely believe this mtv writer and pete were in cahoots (lol) on some level during this period because even though petes book came out in early 2013 he pushed the release back several times and began writing it as early as 2004 and other people like william beckett and some girl were also involved in writing it because it took forever so i would suggest they were likely working together a lot during the young veins thing and possibly the panic split at the very least

ANYWAYYYYYYYYYY pete wentz conspiracies aside this wasnt just like something i came up with because i have a hateboner for brendon because he took the band in a pop direction, this was something i wrote because while researching the peteryan essay i kept running into the brent thing being discussed with a much higher level of emotion and anger than i had anticipated and people calling panic shitty in ways that mirror how theyre discussed today and i AM NOT crazy because petes friend was saying the same shit

[getallemeralds]

hi I know this is a long time late, but my Jsab Hyperfixation just resurfaced and I discovered your blog and JAAB. The new storylines were EPIC and I just wanted to know how are Swears and Friend doing? Is Swears ok? I was SO shocked when he got shattered while in TIO… I didn’t even comprehend that that was possible… maybe something was wrong with the tree? As in, like how the tree’s triangles gave TIO their power? That’d explain why it looked so weird afterwards. But yeah. Please send them a hug. Your Jsab blog was one of my favourites <3 thank you for making it. :)

AAH HI!! i literally woke up today thinking about jsab (and ja&b especially) and im really excited to see this ask because despite how long its been i still love talking abt it

Swears is okay! they've still got a crack from being shattered, but that's about the worst of it and they're proud of it because "haha yeah that sucked but i SURVIVED >:D"! the original plan wasnt for Sovereign (powered-up Sovi) to be able to full-on shatter TIO: instead they would've forcibly depowered them and everyone would've had to split up again to find another way. except when i started drawing the panels i changed the plan on the fly and had to run with the consequences

the reason Sovereign was able to shatter TIO in the first place was a mix of "Sovi is using the entire treeangle to power themself" and "Swears stole a fraction of their power". so, enough to transform, but not the same as having two triangle pieces making them completely invincible against Annihilate's single piece.

Friend's happy to have Swears back and as themself again, although they've still got some stuff to work through - something that came up a couple of times and that i wanted to focus more on sometime as part of Friend's storyline was how they were more prone to temporary shattering (and got completely knocked out of the fight against Annihilate) and how they felt useless compared to Swears as a result. when Swears seemingly got perma-shattered again, Friend tried to take up their mantle as the reckless afraid-of-nothing one.. except that also fell flat.

the plan was for this to eventually pay off with Friend helping Cube's sister Anvil (who'd gotten teased a couple times) against the next big threat and holding their own without Swears's help! and Swears would've realized how they contributed to Friend's insecurity (eg the argument they had in Clash that caused Awoo to get dunked) and do the whole "you don't need to prove yourself to me, i already know you're awesome" thing and try to be more outwardly supportive

me and my co-muns had a LOT of plans for how justasksandbeats was gonna go, but constant tech issues + burnout + life issues + general strife with the fandom combined into me not being able to do it anymore. if the other muns are okay with it though i can probably scrape together a recap of what was gonna happen! or at least the broad strokes of it, i tried to keep things loose to account for anon intervention or my own tendency to write on the fly :p

thank you so much for enjoying it!! despite the difficulties (dear god, the difficulties.. my poor tablet and computer...) ja&b was a lot of fun to make and it means a lot to me whenever people bring it up. glad to hear people are still discovering it even today!!