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imperator-kahlo · 7 months ago

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OK what even is happening with the Crows

I’ve just been trawling through the wiki and World of Thedas for a few hours trying to figure out what we (a) know, (b) can guess, (c) can speculate wildly about the inner workings of the Crows during the Dragon age.

(I am by no means an expert on the lore so please let me know where I have wildly missed the mark).

I'm definitely not trying to propose any kind of fanon consensus, where's the fun in that?! Just trying to figure out a timeline that makes sense to me. Possibly also toying around with a pre-canon Rookanis fic.

Loooong and probably insanely disorganised text post under the cut. I should have been in bed hours ago but I am hyperfixating on this and will not sleep until I hit post.

Spoilers, so many spoilers below: Veilguard, Tevinter Nights, The Silent Grove, Origins, Awakenings, the entire franchise basically.

So, a speculative timeline. Events in black are fairly or very well supported by the lore; events in blue are inconsistent/uncertain in the lore; events in purple are guesses that I can sort of back up; events in red are me throwing a dartboard at the wall.

Note: The wiki puts the events of "Eight Little Talons" in 9:44 Dragon, but I can't find any source for that. I would have guessed a little later, but let's roll with 9:44.

Also, I'm pretty unclear on the guildmaster/grandmaster distinction. I'm just going to say 'head of house' for whoever is in charge of a Crow house, or Talon if they're head of one of the eight Talon Houses.

Blessed Age

8:70 Blessed - Caterina born (she's described as well into her 70s during Eight Little Talons and as around 80 in the data-mined character descriptions for Veilguard, so give or take a couple years this seems right).

9:00 to 9:29 Dragon: House Arainai Shenanigans

9:00 Dragon - Antivan civil war, beginning of the "much maligned" Three Queens era (Codex, History of Kirkwall - Chapter 4). Unclear exactly what happens or over what period of time, but seems like the Crows would be in the thick of things.

9:05 - 9:10 - Caterina maybe reaches Talon status (not First, though). Around 8:98 Blessed would be the absolute earliest she could get there given Teia's holds the record (youngest Talon at 28). But I think Teia was at least three or four years younger than any previous Talon so I'd put it somewhere around here, if not a few years later.

9:12 Dragon - Zevran, aged 7, is purchased from a Rialto brothel by House Arainai. The House is led by First Talon Talav Arainai and described as rolling in coin after the "Three Brides" contract - they purchase 17 other slaves that year, including Taliesen (World of Thedas, vol 2, p. 96). I think based purely on vibes that House Arainai is fairly secure in First Talon position and has been there at least a couple years, probably longer.

9:15ish Dragon - Teia born (she's described as 28 in the data-mined descriptions, but she's already a Talon in 'Eight Little Talons', which says she was the youngest ever to reach the rank at age 28. I'm assuming she got there a year or two before the events of the story. See 9:17.

9:16 Dragon - whoops, sometime over the last four years it all went to shit for Talav Arainai! The House dropped to Second Talon, and he was executed in 9:16 after trying to take back the seat of First. Isadora Arainai takes over, and the House hangs on as Second Talon... for now. Rinna joins House Arainai and immediately works well with Zevran and Taliesen under the mentorship of Eoman Arainai (World of Thedas, vol 2, p. 96). This would be the earliest that Caterina could reach First Talon, but I'm not sure I'd put it this early. I think the latest she could possible reach First would be 9:25ish based on my guesses about House Velardo (see below).

9:17 Dragon - Lucanis born (described as 36 in the data-mined character descriptions. I know I threw out those descriptions for Teia, but I think we can be pretty certain Lucanis is mid thirties).

9:17 Dragon - Teia born. I was going back through Eight Little Talons and my initial read was wrong. Teia is 28 during the events of the story.

9:24 Dragon - House Arainai, having the sort of shitty luck they absolutely deserve, falls entirely out of the rank of Talons when Second Talon Isadora dies. They wallow amongst the cuchillos (minor houses) for a few years (World of Thedas, vol 2, p. 96).

9:22 - 9:27 - House Velardo attempts to usurp First Talon from House Dellamorte? The resulting war kills all of Caterina's children and grandchildren, save Lucanis and Illario. My reasoning here is this: Lucanis says he and Illario would have ended up with Caterina to train, but being orphaned sent them to her younger than anticipated. Zevran was purchased at age 7, so we know Crow training, at least for House Arainai slaves, begins very young. Perhaps the non-slave children of influential house leaders start later, but I would guess not much. So I'm assuming they end up with Caterina sometime between ages 5 and 10?

9:25 Dragon - King Maric is thought lost at sea, but is in reality being held by Third Talon Claudio Valisti in a Crow prison on behalf of a Tevinter Magister, Aurielion Titus.

Side note: I had the same reaction to finding out the Crows have a super-fun torture prison as I did to finding out Weisshaupt has dungeons. Just... why? That feels like mission creep? Does the assassin skill set at all overlap with the prison guard skill set?

9:26 - 9:28 - Eoman takes over as head of House Arainai. He eliminates House Ferragani, which was Eighth Talon, thus clearing the way for Arainai to claw its way back into power. Unfortunately, he needs the support of Third Talon Claudio Valisti to take over the position. Valisti wants Rinna Arainai dead (cult / royal bastard reasons) and Eoman tricks Zevran and Taliesen, her lovers, into doing it. This was a very stupid decision (WoT vol 2, p. 96).

9:30 to 9:43 Dragon: Zevran's Revenge

9:30 Dragon - Zevran, depressed and angry about Rinna's death, bids for the contract on the Warden's life. House Arainai is said to have accepted this contract because they believed Loghain to be the best person to defeat the blight (WoT vol 2, p. 96).

Side note: This sort of, if you squint, reconciles the contract on the Warden's life in 9:30 with the memento found in Veilguard that says the Crows had treaties with the Wardens to fight the "next blight". But also they tried to kill the Warden-Commander in Awakenings, too. I guess one could argue a new blight was unlikely so soon but like. Come on, guys. Is your word to the Wardens worth anything or not?

9:31 - 9:34 - If Zevran survived, he comes back from Ferelden with a spring in his step and murder in his heart (and possibly a Warden on his arm) and wreaks absolute havoc on House Arainai. Eoman is first to go, then like half a dozen more of their top people. The House loses Eighth Talon and falls once more into obscurity. The Crows call Zevran (or an unnamed assassin if Zevran is dead) the "Black Shadow" and speculate that he has allies among the cuchillos (WoT vol 2, p. 96).

9:34 - 9:43 - Where the fuck is Zevran?

9:37 Dragon - Corypheus is freed (Legacy DLC). The Venatori will start to be a thing in the next few years, so Lucanis is going to pick up his nickname between now and, say 9:50 Dragon. I'd put it between 9:45 and 9:49 because of vibes (and because he talks about not immediately specialising in mages. Crows get started very young, but I dunno. I see him starting on mages in his mid twenties because, again, vibes.)

9:38 - 9:40 - Events of The Silent Grove (comic - I haven't read it in a while but I'm throwing it in here for complete-ish-ness). Alistair, Varric and Isabela break into the Crow archive and Velabanchel prison (which side note is a totally heinous operation). Isabela kills Claudio Valisti (Third Talon passes to Ezio Valisti). This, for me, raises the question again: Where the fuck is Zevran (sob). Valisti was implicated in Rinna's death, so either Zevran never found out or he couldn't get to Valisti while he was cleaning house.

9:44 Dragon - Ongoing: We're Entering Our Freedom-Fighter Era

9:44 Dragon - The events of 'Eight Little Talons'. Briefly: Caterina calls all the Talons together to plan for the imminent invasion of the Antaam, but a whole bunch of murder happens. Turns out that Fourth Talon Emil Kortez made deal with the Antaam and was trying to wipe out the Crows' leadership. He was killed by the survivors and Viago suggests--correctly, I think--that Caterina will wipe out the whole house.

The following Talons are killed but it seems like their houses will probably retain their status, with somebody else taking over as Talon:

Dante Balazar, Second

Lera Valisti, Third

Giuli Arainai, Eighth (having only just managed to lift that fucking house back up to Talonship, shame lol)

In addition to Caterina, Viago, and Teia, Sixth Talon Nero Bolivar survives, but he um, isn't much help. I would guess that Caterina, in a pretty strong alliance with Viago and Teia and with all the other Talons being new, might fuck his shit up and try to get someone more solid in before the Antaam invade?

9:44 - ongoing - WHERE THE FUCK IS ZEVRAN???? He can't have taken control of any of the eight Talon houses, because he's not at the summit in 'Eight Little Talons'-- and however much he damaged House Arainai, they've clawed back some power by 9:44. Is there a breakaway faction of cuchillo houses that Caterina won't even dignify with an acknowledgment? Is he not interested in any kind of Crow power and is just fucking shit up for them - we can assume House Valisti has had a lock on Third Talon since at least 9:28 (Claudio or Ezio Valisti pop up periodically in this position), and my guess is House de Riva have held Fifth a decent period of time, but as far as I can tell we know nothing about Second, Fourth, Sixth and Seventh Talon Houses in this period. So maybe Zev is toppling houses left, right and centre? Seems like that sort of instability might have changed Caterina's approach in 'Eight Little Talons', though...

9:51 - Lucanis imprisoned in the Ossuary.

9:51 - Antaam invasion of Antiva, starting with Treviso. The Antaam rebellion begins in 9:44 and is ongoing; the failure of Kortez in 9:44 delayed the invasion somewhat. I wouldn't have thought it would delay it this much, but I'm pretty sure that it happened while Lucanis was imprisoned, right? So since we free him in 9:52 after a year in the Ossuary, the invasion must have been delayed until 9:51? Maybe very late 9:50?

"Conclusions"

(I haven't read the comics in a bit and I know there's some Crow stuff that goes down in there beyond the Silent Grove... but as best I recall its just Teia and Viago running into Varric and Harding, and some stuff setting up Solas and the Antaam. Please let me know if I'm mistaken!)

I think it's safe to say the Crows are in chaos for pretty much the entire first half of the Dragon age: Arainai are causing chaos from 9:16 to 9:25, then they pass the torch to Velardo, whose war against House Dellamorte must have lasted a few years if it wiped out almost all of Caterina's family. Zevran is on a murder spree at least between 9:31 and 9:34, and possibly (much) longer depending on your headcanon.

After, at very best, a decade's peace, 9:44 sees the plot to wipe out the Crow leadership, which fails but does kill half the Talons and lead to the elimination of at least one, maybe two of the Talon Houses. Half a decade after that the Antaam invades.

I've been completely on board with the critiques of Veilguard's portrayal of the Crows, but I think writing it all out like this has helped me reconcile things a little bit? This is a deeply chaotic network of feuding families, and no single Talon is going to have the secure political power to make sweeping changes. Which isn't to say the child abuse that was definitely still occuring in Houses Dellamorte and de Riva during Rook and Lucanis' childhoods is just fine. But it makes more sense to me now that Houses Dellamorte, de Riva and Cantori could have wildly different ideas about slavery and torture prisons than, say Houses Arainai and Valisti--and have extremely limited power to shift the culture of competing Houses. Even the First Talon's position is deeply precarious.

Whew. Good night!

(Just realised as I was tagging that I haven't slotted The Wigmaker Job in anywhere. I thiiiiink Viago mentions in 'Eight Little Talons' that Lucanis is currently in Tevinter for a job, maybe a sly reference to Wigmaker? But I cannot possibly get sucked in any deeper, my dog is losing her entire mind at me STILL being at the computer.)

***

Waking up and editing to add: At some point in her time as a Talon (probably First but I guess maybe not?), Caterina wiped out another house so completely that Teia doesn't even recognise the name, Gaspari, when Viago mentions it in 'Eight Little Talons'. Given House Velardo was the one that made a play for First Talon, this is a whole 'nother big intra-Crows conflict that slots in somewhere on this timeline. Caterina is ruthless, y'all.

***

Editing again a few days later to report that I was flicking through WoT and spotted a WHOLE-ASS ENTRY on Claudio Valisti that I’d managed to miss. I was… not happy. I’m begging you BioWare, no more information. I cannot reconcile it.

Anyway. World of Thedas, vol 2, p 44, has Claudio Valisti taking over from his father as Eighth Talon in 9:34, quickly getting the house to Sixth Talon and appearing to be going places. This appears to contradict p. 96 of the same, which has a Third Talon Claudio Valisti helping House Arainai in 9:28, as described above.

I thought very carefully about tearing the page out, burning it, and forgetting I ever knew this particular piece of lore.

Instead I have decided fuck it, we have a father-son pair here. Senior helped out Arainai in 9:28. His house later fell to Eighth (in my incredibly unwieldy and underdeveloped headcanon this is partly because helping Arainai really pissed off Caterina). Claudio Senior dies in 9:34, Claudio Junior inherits. By the time Junior dies to Isabela in 9:38-40 he’s got the house properly back on track, so the loss of a leader doesn’t destabilise them too badly.

Ezio Valisti is Third Talon in 9:41, according to the Winter Palace announcer in Inquisition, and the house still holds the third seat in 9:44.

(Also edited Teia’s birth year from 9:15 to 9:17; I misread Eight Little Talons. She’s 28 during the events of the story.)

#dragon age veilguard #dragon age #lucanis dellamorte #caterina dellamorte #antivan crows #zevran arainai #dav spoilers #veilguard critical #just a smidge and mostly I'm talking myself out of the negativity #dragon age lore

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witherby · 3 months ago

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hi! i really enjoyed your littlest wayne series! i don't know if someone had already asked this or if you have explained it, but what are the age headcanons for the family from when mouse a baby until they grow up? i would imagine mouse to be 17-18 when they start dating conner and in truce juice they're maybe in their 20's. not sure for the batfam though. sorry for the long ask!

Yeah, good question! I think Bruce should've been a teen dad/very young dad when he got Dick. So when Dick was 8 he was like 21. BARELY old enough to drink. Been Batman for all of two or three years. Real fresh with it.

When Bruce gets Mouse he's 38ish, which makes Dick 25ish, and Jason 21ish. Tim somehow forever 17. And I think Damian should be 10. They should all be old enough to have been with Bruce for at least a little while, but I don't want Bruce to already be nearing his 50s when he gets Flittermouse.

Mouse would be 17, almost 18, when they meet a physically-17 Conner. They would have more than likely been in at least one or two or seven hostage situations by now, so they already know when they graduate high school that they want to make Truce Juice happen, even with this hot weird boy throwing a wrench in their social life.

They go through culinary school to get a degree and a food safety and handling license, and also getting some lessons from Alfred and learning his recipes. By the time they find a building, find some staff willing to work it, find insurance willing to cover it, and get the shit up and going, they're 21.

By the time Truce Juice happens, Bruce would be 59, Hal would be 62, Dick would be 46, Jason would be 42, Tim would be 38, and Damian would be 31.

We can either operate under the assumption that, yes, everyone is aging, or assume they're all somehow frozen in their primes like Tim apparently is. I don't actually know if that's fanon or canon, but that's how old everyone would realistically be!

#el speaks #littlest wayne au

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ezekiel13 · 3 months ago

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Silvia: Character info!!

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Silvia Ravza Ayad

Reason or meaning of name: Silvia was her Mother’s Mother’s name, Ravza was the middle name of her Father’s sister who died in infancy, and Ayad is her Father’s last name

Character’s nickname: “friend” to Fawkes. ‘Doc’ to Boone (the only person allowed to call her that). The only ones she accepts.

Reason for nickname: Fawkes is her friend. Boone calls her by her last name and she thought that was awkward and it was a compromise of sorts.

Birth date: 21/06/2258

Physical appearance

Age: 19 in Fo3, 23 in FNV, 29 in Fo4

How old do they appear: around 20 in Fo3 and FNV, and closer to 25ish in Fo4

Weight: slightly underweight because she doesn’t pay much attention to her own health

Height: 5’2

Body build: Strong

Shape of face: Soft oval?

Eye color: Dark brown HEX: #56424e

RGB: rgba(86,66,78,255)

Glasses or contacts: Uses glasses, she is both long and short sighted

Skin tone: RGB: rgba(149,108,88,255)

HEX: #956c58

Distinguishing marks: One of her pupils appears to have “run” due to her lack of sight in that eye

Predominant features: x

Hair color: Naturally dark brown/black, but she dyes it

Type of hair: 2c

Hairstyle: quite short

Voice: fairly high pitch but soft spoken, unless she’s angry

Overall attractiveness: 10/10 if you ask Butch XD

Physical disabilities: Visual impairment in her left eye

Usual fashion of dress: Fo3 wears her Vault Doctor outfit until she finishes the purifier, when she exchanges it for power armour. By FNV she’s wearing mostly Abayas except when she’s doctoring when then it’s a pretty standards Follower’s outfit, and then power armour at Hoover Damn. In Fo4 she’s wearing Abayas, unless she’s being a doctor or needs to get out the power armour.

Favorite outfit: She has a sparkly blue Abaya with a matching hijab with stars on

Jewelry or accessories: She finds them a bit of a hassle bar her pipboy.

Personality

Good personality traits: She’s desperate to help people, doesn’t initially resort to violence, and is very caring.

Bad personality traits: Quick to anger, mood swings easily, can be rather selfish, and is full of self loathing. Impatient

Mood character is most often in: Vaguely sad

Sense of humor: She likes a good joke!

Character’s greatest joy in life: Finding her home in Vegas

Character’s greatest fear: Having to return and being stuck in the Capital

Why? She hated it there and did everything to try leave

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? When her Father left the vault and she had to too

Character is most at ease when: She’s alone or with just one person she trusts

Most ill at ease when: She’s surrounded by strangers

Enraged when: She meets slavers or other people she classes as “evil”

Depressed or sad when: She thinks of her Father

Priorities: Helping others, science, NOT BEING THE PROTAGONIST

Life philosophy: Make it better.

If granted one wish, it would be: The world to be a better place WITHOUT HER HAVING TO FORCE IT

Why? She wants it to be better but she hates. Hates. Being the protagonist

Character’s soft spot: Children

Is this soft spot obvious to others? Yes

Greatest strength: Her scientific and medical knowledge

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: She’s a pretty awful shot, but she’s been learning

Biggest regret: Not talking to James (Father) before he died

Minor regret: Leaving Fawkes

Biggest accomplishment: Fixing the purifier, wiping out the Legion

Minor accomplishment: Saving lives as a Doctor

Past failures they would be embarrassed to have people know about: Anything from the Capital. Even that she came from there

Why? They hated the place

Character’s darkest secret: In Fo3 it’s her violent tendencies, in FNV it’s that they came from the Capital, in Fo4 it’s the Capital again

Does anyone else know? More than she’d like.

Goals

Drives and motivations: Helping others, advancement of science

Immediate goals: By the end of FNV- the development of science and tech, and exploring to find it

Long term goals: New, working universities in New Vegas

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Through the Followers and her caps reserves

How other characters will be affected: For the better, they hope.

Past

Hometown: Vault 101

Type of childhood: Pretty isolated, but she had good friends in Amata and Jonas

Pets: None

First memory: Being a toddler and having James read her revaluations 21:6

Most important childhood memory: Jonas teaching her how to sew up a wound

Why: He was like a Father to her

Childhood hero: Jonas, and her Father

Dream job: Poet

Education: Vault, very good medically

Religion: Islam

Present

Current location: Follower’s ran New Vegas (with strong NCR trade links)

Currently living with: Alone

Pets: She took a cat from the Commonwealth

Religion: Islam

Occupation: Doctor

Finances: She’s got a lot of caps from her “adventures”

Family

Mother: Grace

Relationship with her: She died in childbirth

Father: James Ayad

Relationship with him: He was always a bit distant but she loved him. She’s angry at him for dying.

Siblings: None

Relationship with them: N/A

Spouse: None

Relationship with them: N/A

Children: None

Relationship with them: N/A

Other important family members: None

Favourites

Colour: Blue!

Least favorite colour: Orange

Music: Classical romantic

Food: She likes bubble gum

Literature: Songs of Innocence and Experience by William Blake

Form of entertainment: Reading & writing poetry

Expressions: “Really? Again?”

Mode of transportation: Walking

Most prized possession: Eugene her mini gun + Gehenna her shishkebab.

Habits

Hobbies: Scientific study

Plays a musical instrument? Wants to learn the violin

Plays a sport? No.

How they would spend a rainy day: Studying indoors or reading

Spending habits: Buys stimpaks mostly. Occasionally ammo and nice clothes.

Smokes: No

Drinks: No

Other drugs: Only medical

What do they do too much of? Studying, fighting

What do they do too little of? Sleeping and eating

Extremely skilled at: Science, medicine, repair

Extremely unskilled at: Shooting

Nervous tics: Clipping and unclipping a bobby pin from a piece of clothing

Usual body posture: Straight from a life in the Vault

Mannerisms: She’s rather formal, unless it’s children

Peculiarities: She’s rather blunt and abrasive

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? Optimist unless it’s about herself, when pessimist

Introvert or extrovert? Introvert

Daredevil or cautious? She isn’t cautious but doesn’t crave danger

Logical or emotional? She wants to be logical, but is rather emotional

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Methodical and neat

Prefers working or relaxing? Working

Confident or unsure of themself? Confident

Animal lover? A fan, but moreso from a distance

Self-perception

How they feel about themself: Distaste

One word the character would use to describe self: Doctor

One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: “I’m Doctor Silvia, a Wasteland Explorer, and scientist. I travel around the Wasteland, and help people out. Ideally, I would just be a Doctor but apparently the World is against me.”

What does the character consider their best personality trait? Her medical skills

What does the character consider their worst personality trait? Their rage

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Their physical strength

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Height. Too short

How does the character think others perceive their: As a nosey do-gooder

What would the character most like to change about themself: Their past.

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: Everyone has innate good

Does the character hide their true opinions and emotions from others? Not unless it’s necessary for survival

Person character most hates: Consistently? Butch. Actually, Caesar, Shaun or Autumn

Best friend(s): Fawkes in Fo3, Boone, Arcade, and Veronica in FNV, Preston and the Sole Survivor in Fo4

Love interest(s): None. Well. Butch has a crush on her

Person character goes to for advice: Allah

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Used to be her Father, but moved on to everyone really.

Person character feels shy or awkward around: No one

Person character openly admires: Jonas

Person character secretly admires: Every Doctor

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Jonas

After story starts: her Father

#silvia the lone wanderer #fallout new vegas #fallout nv #fallout #fnv #fallout 4 #fo4 #fallout 3 #fo3 #original character #original characters #Craig Boone #butch deloria #fawkes

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asoftgoth · 1 year ago

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To ask my dream future self in case I ever escape the closet, how is weight stuff on HRT?

So much I try to read online is full of fatphobes drowning it in desperate weight loss / maintenance talk for such different body types. Would love to hear from a calmer voice what eating on E as a bigger girl is like, if it's actually that much easier to gain, whatever you've been noticing/feeling

I wanted to know this too before I started and there really isn’t a good resource at all for this kind of info, especially for truly obese people like me. From talking with other big trans girls like myself, I can honestly say is that a lot of it will depend on your genetics. I know that’s not what people like to hear, and it’s scary. A lot of transitioning seems like it’s kind of a dice roll. What I will say, though, is that if you look at your mother, if she’s a bigger woman, you will probably end up with a build similar to hers. For me, that was definitely the case. For example, when it comes to boob size people say that you take your mother’s cup size and go down a size, and that that’s what you’ll probably get.

As for my transition, when I actually started on estrogen, I lost quite a bit of weight. Although most of it was almost entirely muscle mass. I did some measurements throughout the process and so far I have lost about 25ish pounds overall but I’ve gained about 4.5 inches on my hips and lost about 4inches on my waist. I initially lost probably 40 pounds, but I’ve gained back another 10-15. So there was that aspect. I think what I’ve gained back has been fat. And definitely I’ve lost a ton of muscle. If you have a big upper body, don’t be super scared because most of the muscle that I lost was actually from my upper body. Like shoulders, upper tummy, that kind of stuff. I actually don’t think it’s much easier to gain weight on estrogen. Or at least it isn’t for me. Some people have said that it is but of all the trans woman that I know that are also feedists it doesn’t seem like it’s some super easy thing to gain weight on estrogen. It’s why I really really really hate the term “biological males”, because our bodies act like cis women’s bodies do in practically every way.

Lastly, I’ll talk about medication’s. I didn’t see a ton of fat transfer while I was on estrogen. I saw some for sure, but it hasn’t been anything compared to what I’ve seen since being on progesterone. I’ve been on estrogen now for a year and 3 months. I’ve been on prog for about 3 and a half months of that, and I’ve seen more fat transfer while on progesterone then on only estrogen (and an anti-androgen which I still take too). What sucks the most I think about transitioning, is how long things take. Your body is going through a lot, and it’s really important for you to take care of it and help it along through this process. It’s why I haven’t really been actively gaining, and I’ve just been trying to make sure I’m eating decent enough food and drinking lots of water and getting the exercise that I need. I think that’s really the most important thing with all of this. Eventually, I probably will try gaining weight intentionally again, but I’m just kind of letting my body do its thing. It’s going through enough changes on its own.

I hope this helps!!

#questions

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 3 months ago

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i did not do my sunday bedtime blogging last week because i? was staying up late scrolling for no reason! i continued to do this all week long! after a week where i successfully met my goal of upping my work but not feeling crazy about it, i got less than 10 hours in and felt low key crazy by friday. many bad habits being indulged! so, primary order of business this week: Don't Do That.

that said, i did manage to finally jot down a plan for my week ahead the way that i have been vaguely wanting to for ages... idk sometimes it takes me a long time from intention to feeling like this is a possible thing i can actually do. but i have what i guess i might call a draft for my week laid out and i feel pretty good looking at it. i'm gonna aim for 25ish hours of work spread across tutoring, prep, & development stuff... i currently have certain vague mental parameters about under which circumstances i'm allowed to work ahead/work more than planned because sometimes when i'm in a work groove i get to feeling like "what if i just do ALL the work at ONCE" and then i burn out in like two days and feel crazy. we'll see! my theoretical average time is like 20ish but i'm behind from the start of the year and also behind on income and we're in the middle of a project... so i think i'm gonna aim for 25 for a while most likely. but also not gonna go crazy if i like have a migraine and lose a day. (i did have a migraine and lose a day this week... i also went into the city to help my mom get home from a doctor's appointment and wound up doing that twice because i got confused about the day lmao.

i got like 80k steps which was nice because i'm also behind on my 365k steps for the year goal because of the two weeks i spent sick/Being Very Cautious. i worked out three times because my first leg day in two weeks destroyed me and then today, the first day i could have done it again physically, the timing didn't work out, but the two upper body days felt good. on friday i spent all day making terrible choices about how to spend my time and wound myself up into a horrible little ball but i had to go to my friend's birthday party and i knew i would feel horrible if i bailed so i got it together and forced myself to walk the 20 minutes to the bar and then when i got there i saw the party and thought oh, my friends are here, and was happy to have come; later, after a giant jenga game i did not play but watched a little bit amazed at how long it kept going, m. and i stood a little stoned quoting lines of wild geese back at each other. she told me she's been sleeping with her phone outside her room which i always know i should do and never actually do but i did that night because i took the conversation as a sign. on saturday i wandered the met for a newer friend's birthday (museum birthday... what a great concept) and remembered how much i always like going to museums even though i am an art idiot whose inner commentary in such places mostly consists of such riveting thoughts as i love a tiny pattern and it's so crazy when paintings look like they have light. this is truly the art thing that reliably excites me most: when it looks like there's light in there but it's just oil paint. to me that is like witchcraft. the met has an exhibit of some guy named caspar david friedrich that i'd never heard of and he was so good at this! even in a terrible iphone photo of this painting ruins at oybin that i couldn't get a good angle of because it was too crowded i feel like you can get a glimpse of it but in the room i swear it looked like it was glowing, my brain couldn't process it as just paint:

last week i watched hedwig and the angry inch for the first time and couldn't believe i'd fucked up by not watching it young enough to make it my whole personality in high school, borrowed a book i'm excited about from a friend at our favorite bar, & hopped along with a friend who had a spare ticket to a play that was only okay but contained one of the best performances i've ever seen on stage (it was a two-hander and unfortunately the other guy was pretty bad... awkward!). today i finished two books. i love art and being a person! :) ok time for bedtime book (i have been rereading "fallow," the novella near the end of sofia samatar's tender, about a mennonite sect that fled earth generations ago, which has the exact tone i want in a bedtime book and also is one of the greatest things i've ever read) ilu all :*

#bedtime blogging #isabel 2k25

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serpaphsical · 4 months ago

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a little quick thing i'm cooking up so i can do so i can go back to studying! honestly no one will probably look at this but you know what this is mainly for me so...

MARVEL / SPIDER-VERSE DR ꩜ my routine !

6:30 A.M. ✷ wake up / meditation ☥ — — usually during this time i would also do my hair & makeup

6:45 A.M ✷ grab a coffee or matcha / bother anyone who is up ☥ — — my main victim is usually peter

7:00-7:25ish A.M ✷ meet up with mj, harry, and harley at a café or somewhere near the mid-town

7:30-7:40 A.M. ✷ walk from café / somewhere to the school ☥ — — it's really short distance from wherever we are to mid-town 🙏🏼

8:00 A.M. - 3:00 P.M. ✷ school 😔

3:30 - 6:00 P. M. ✷ patrol! ☥ — — as of right now, not much is going on in the world of crime ( well, obviously crime is happening, just like not as bad it usually is... ) and it's mainly just clean up from what happened with devil's breath / raft escapees

6:30 - 8:00 P.M. ✷ meet up with harley and harry at the stark tower / compound

8:15 - 8:30 P.M. ✷ heading home

9:00 - 9:30 P.M. ✷ if nothing crazy is happening this is usually my study / free time and then i go to bed...if. this is new york let's not get our hopes up ☥ — — if crime is somewhat rampant i would stay out till 10-11ish to figure out what's going on

SCHOOL SCHEDULE !

1ST - home room ☥ — — w / harry, harley, and peter

2ND - AP literature ☥ — — w / harry, cindy, and mj

3RD - free period ☥ — — the schedule gods have blessed us this year and all of our free periods line up, so we usually just chill in the library. ( all of us i mean harry, harley, peter, cindy, mj, felicia )

10:30-11:15 AM, lunch ☥ — — we all have lunch together too, most of the time we go out for lunch since we’re allowed to leave since we are seniors

4TH - ap physics ☥ — — w / peter & harley

5TH - economics ☥ — — w / harry & harley

6TH - photography iii ☥ — — w / peter, mj, and cindy moon

7TH - advanced concert band ☥ — — the only class i don't have anyone with, but it's fine since my section and i get along really well 🤞🏼

#ᯓ spider verse / mcu dr #ᯓ sephsyaps #shiftblr #“so i can go back to studying!” sure jan alright...#is my routine realistic? prob not but idrc so...#am i good at physics?? no #but it's okay cause i scripted i'm smart 💪💪#(why did i have to hyperfix on marvel instead of something like math)#by harry i mean harry osborn #and by harley i mean harley keener #if anyone is confused #anti shifters dni #shifting community #reality shifting

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yanderes-for-everyone · 1 year ago

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Title: Dekiai Yakuza Ni Wa Amayakasarenai

Status: Completed

Summary:

Riko, who is the granddaughter of a Yakuza, has a crush on her incredibly possessive caretaker, Lori. (he was 15 when he first started caring for her.) She believes he has a girlfriend and tries to become more independent so that she can attempt to rid herself of her feelings for him. But, Lori isn't happy about this development.

My Feelings About It: (SPOILER FREE)

Okay, let's get it out of the way...I'm not a huge fan of the age gap. Especially at first; it made me feel a little weird. He was 15 and she was 7 when they first met. So about a 8 year difference. When the story starts he's 25ish and she's 17. It's obviously not something that would be acceptable irl, but it actually wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be. Their age difference, I think, is pretty similar to those manhwa where the fl is transported into a child who is taken into a household and in order to survive she has to melt her adopted brother's heart, lol (if what I'm saying makes any sense.) Overall, I was able to get over it, but just felt like it didn't need to exist. He could've been closer to her in age and I don't think it would have changed anything plot-wise.

Now on to the good things. I think this manga is perfect for a light-hearted read (though I say this as someone who's read a lot of dark shit, lol.) It has a decent amount of comedy, but the ml is INCREDIBLY possessive. He wants to be with her all the time and he's the type of yandere who desperately wants to be needed, so he'll give her anything she wants so that she won't be able to do anything herself.

I also enjoyed the pacing of the series. In total, there are only about 19 episodes. Because the ml already knows her before the story starts, build-up isn't required to make the story believable or satisfying; the build-up happens off-screen. He's a yandere towards her from the very first chapter, which is nice.

Overall, it's a good time, despite the age difference thing.

Manga Rating: 7/10

Yandere Rating: 8/10*

*This means the ml's yandere intenseness

#manga recommendation #male yandere #yandere male #yandere

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covenofagatha · 6 months ago

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Ok sorry i promise this is the last one

I looked it up it takes a day for bodies to start decomposing so it wouldn't have smelled yet

And do they place the bodies in nice ways or like leave them be after rio is done

It really doesn't matter for the story it's a stupid question but i like seeing it in my head how it would look and i want it to be accurate like how you thought it would look

And if they fuck after killing people wouldn't they (of at least Agatha) be covered in blood because rio's hands are dirty from cutting out the Heart

How old were Agatha and rio in the woods when reader was 10 cause evanora already had gray hair so they must have already been adults or something or do people in the usa just get gray hair really early (i wouldn't know i'm from Europe)

I'll go to sleep now bye good luck in whatever your doing i guess

-🌵

They just leave them on the floor

Rio’s hands are bloody but she either washes them before sex or Agatha just takes care of her plus they always clean up the scene before they get to that

I imaged Rio being about 25ish and then Agatha 35ish so Evanora would’ve been 60-70

#asks

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catscidr · 1 year ago

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……….i kinda wanna write a reverse isekai sagau fic but writing/managing all of the genshin men in One Singular fanfic seems so daunting (ㅠ_ㅠ) would probably include something like 5-10 characters instead of the whole 25ish…… idkman i just want to write something silly looks away from my inbox reqs collecting dust nd my dottore series

if anything i just wanna write a sagau crackfic with /at LEAST/ dottore because pookie is always forgotten/demoted to being a side character in most sagau fics ive read sobsob////

if anyone’s interested, lmk of any (unpopular-ish) male genshin characters you’d want included in the fic ദ്ദി(*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) (like aside from tartaglia, diluc, zhongli etcetc. characters that have less than like 800 x reader fics on ao3 LOL)

#sagau #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #genshin isekai #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #୧ ��₊˚rambling!#୧ ‧₊˚cat isn't writing!

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moviesludge · 8 months ago

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I BEAT my weight loss goal!!!!! I'm really excited about this but I post about it a lot so read more break

I was a fit (for my size) 240 lbs back in my 20s when I worked at blockbuster around 2005. I didn't keep track much back then but I had almost no belly fat and it was the lowest weight I've been in my adult life. Since then I gained and lost with a weight ranging mostly above 260 lbs and as high as 285. During the pandemic quarantine, I got a fitbit and got really vigilant about walking on the treadmill. I lost around 30 lbs in about 9 months (which quickly rebounded and became more like 20-25ish.

The lowest weight I got to with exercise was 255.5 on 8-31-2020. This was me vigorously (HR 150-180) exercising like 5 times a week for 40-60 minutes at a time. I wrote down every weight loss milestone and date that I hit back then, and I've been checking back to the list whenever my weight drops below one of them. My goal was my original pandemic low of 255.5 and I was 254.8 today!! I am extremely glad about this and how well my chosen diet worked for me:

Cut all snacks but meals can be as big as I want - CUT SUGARY DRINKS (except homemade coffee) - no dessert unless it's fruit or greek yogurt - and if I have fast food I only have like one non-terrible entree and maybe like 1 other small thing if I'm particularly hungry. An example of this would be a beef combo burrito and 1 taco from taco bell, or a chicken sandwich from JITB. I'm curious to see how far down my weight will go while maintaining this diet, and also if it will go down much more with additional exercise (during the entire time I lost weight (about 2 months) I have only deliberately exercised 3 times although I've been somewhat active otherwise.

Just as a side note, I don't mind being fat for the most part. I feel like it suits my body type and face better, but this is 100% a health concern for me. I want to breathe easier, be in better aerobic shape so that I don't get winded so easily, be more mobile, and take pressure off my joints as much as possible.

The following are my weight goals and when I hit them this year. I was using this post and updating every time I hit one. My new goal is my low weight from my 20's: 240 lbs!!!

June 23 2023 - 266 (hit on 9-17-2024)

March 15 2023 - 265.6

August 3 2022 - 265.4 (hit on 9-20-2024) August 2 2022 - 264.8

May 10 2022 - 264.6

April 2 2022 - 264.4 (hit on 9-22-2024)

March 25 2022 - 263.6

Feb 25 2022 - 263.4 (hit on 9-23-2024)

feb 12 2022 262.8

feb 2 2022 - 262.7 (hit on 9-25-2024)

jan 1 2022 - 262.3

dec 27 2021 - 261.2

nov 20 2022 - 261.0 (hit on 9-27-2024)

oct 8 2021 - 259.9

oct 4 2021 - 259.7 (hit on 9-30-2024)

sept 30 2021 259.0 (hit on 10-10-2024)

sept 23 2021 258.6

sept 13 2021 258.4

sept 9 2021 258.1 (hit on 10-11-2024)

sept 8 202 257.4

sept 7 2020 257.2 (hit on 10-14-2024)

aug 31 2020 255.5 (hit on 10-24-2024)

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thyfleshc0nsumed · 9 months ago

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I was wondering where you get your leather from? I've been working on a spiked choker for a while now but I can't find thick enough leather to support the spikes. I tried searching online for leather but it's harder than you'd think TwT

I get all mine from an Amish company. I use natural (undyed) vegtan double shoulders, 7/8 oz for most stuff, 10 oz for impact toys, belts, and the like. You can get comparable leather from Tandy or Weaver, I think it's like 60$ for a single shoulder, which is gonna be about 5 sq ft. Latigo is another good option but you have to buy that by the side (25ish sq ft) and about a quarter to a third of it (the belly parts which are significantly less dense) arent gonna suitable for strap works, or really for much, so far as i can tell. A latigo side would run you 250-300. Pros are that you have to do a lot less work to get it looking and feeling nice, plus won't have to dye it yourself. Cons are price and also sides are so annoying to work with since they're so big

#xoxo

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veggiehotdog1 · 2 years ago

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Sometimes I think about when TLoU3 finally comes out, first how utterly pathetic it will be when I’m heartbroken over fictional characters, but also how all my canon works will be changed by new information.

I have a lot of theories for part 3. I expect a 10 year time jump for part 3. Ellie may have found some peace and place in Jackson as a leader, something to fight for that isn’t sacrificing herself. JJ will also be old enough for some dangerous adventuring.

Like maybe the farmhouse scene is already after Ellie’s met with Fireflies or whatever the quest may be in part 3. She looks older in the Farmhouse final scene, maybe 25ish? Definitely more weathered 🥵

Also Dina is wearing an earring in her journal. How unusual since we didn’t see her wearing anything but the hamsa bracelet before. A make-up gift (like Tommy’s necklace)? Or a marriage bond?

And then maybe one of those prisoners Ellie let out survived and knows she was bitten. She did get pretty careless about bites, no masks…and remember the flash back where Joel warned her to be careful about people seeing that.

And Abby…it would be a bit predictable if she was also immune, but she was bit by Ellie in the same place (symbolic, not time of infection). I think about the line of Abby telling her dad she would want to be used for the cure if she was The Chosen One. It would be poetic in a way. Abby sacrificing herself 😪 instead of Ellie to fulfill her dad’s quest for a cure. And it would also piss tons of players off since they want Abby to die, but in a very specific way (sound familiar…Abby, Abby, Abby. These infected better not have killed you…because I want to be the one to do it!)

Just morning rambling. Might write a one shot about the earrings for marriage. But, I really need to finished the next chapter of Story 1 first. So, I will put that thought in my queue along with HVAC Ellie 😆

#it’s been 3 years and still everyday thoughts #the last of us part 2 #tlou3

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rrezshifts · 4 months ago

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🍹margarita & 🍵 strawberry matcha for your dead boy detectives dr!!!

a specific dead boy reality ask is crazy but i’m so excited omg !! thank you so much for the ask love !!

🍹 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ margarita : what do summers look like for you + your s/o? are you two the type to lounge in front of a pool, or do you prefer to be at the beach? would they play mermaids with you in the sea, or would they rather collect seashells with you as you walk along the shoreline? what would a "beach episode" in your lives look like? . . . even during the summer, work never stops for the us at the agency. from the time i joined in 1998 to 2024 our summers are just busy as well as (only me) struggling with the heat. when we did get breaks, or more accurately charles convinced (complained to) us to take breaks we’f find things to do. we’ve done quite a lot in over 20 years in the very limited space of england. in the past i’ve taken them to beaches, because a life without beaches, for me, is a life not worth living. usually these beaches are empty ones we find, so as to not attract attention. because while we are at these beaches i will touch them so they could connect with the mortal realm and gain their senses back, feeling the sand on their feet or the waves hit their legs. but doing this also means they can become somewhat visible to other people… which isn’t totally ideal. but beyond beaches we also just go walking around London, even taking public transport, hitting our favorite spots. ordering food and holding them again so they can taste the food or drink i ordered for a split second. i’ve also tried to convince them to travel to another country, edwin is harder to convince then charles of course. we’ve managed to travel to a few places in the past 25ish years.

🍵 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ strawberry matcha : what scents remind you of your relationship? maybe this is a perfume or cologne your lover wears, a candle scent that reminds you of the soothing energy you feel around them, or an essential oil you spritz on your pillow before shifting . . . it’s crazy you picked this one because scent is actually so important to me and then in this reality. due to the fact i am partly omnipotent i have psychic like powers, though the way i gain information physically is often through the senses. so when im around both edwin and charles i can actually smell “them” or more so their stories. edwin smells of dust, old books, he has a vague smell of a preppy bright cologne, he smells of wood and mossy stone, he smells of chalk and oranges. charles smells of the river and almost a mildewy smell, that old dusty record smell, leather, he smells a bit irony, he smells like old comic pages, the tiniest hint of some tropical fruits like mangos, and he has this more musky cologne smell. both of their smells have a lot to do with how they died, and i’m very much aware of what part of their lives the smells are associated with. i didn’t tell them for a looong while that i could smell them. i enjoyed their scents, it felt like home. and when i was feeling shitty i would focus my attention on their smell to increase the intensity of it and it would just envelop me. but i didn’t want to freak them out or make them uncomfortable. eventually i had to come clean when i had accidentally said “even charles smells better than him.” when making a comment about some mortal teenager i was interrogating for a case. i don’t know why i couldn’t forsee they would actually be incredibly interested in the fact i could smell them. probably just got in my own head i suppose.

#rrez’s asks #rrez’s dbd reality #rrez loves tay ✴︎ᵎᵎ #rrez’s moots ۶ৎ #shiftblr #reality shifting #desired reality #shifting antis dni #shifting blog #shiftblr community #reality shifter #rrezshifts #dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #payneland #dead boy detectives dr

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