#they would just say things like 'yeah. everybody gets tired after work? but if you don't work then where would you get your money?'

[mariacallous]

When most Americans think of fascism, they picture a Hitlerian hellscape of dramatic action: police raids, violent coups, mass executions. Indeed, such was the savagery of Nazi Germany, Stalinist Russia, and Vichy France. But what many people don’t appreciate about tyranny is its “banality,” Timothy Snyder tells me. “We don’t imagine how a regime change is going to be at the dinner table. The regime change is going to be on the sidewalk. It’s going to be in your whole life.”

Snyder, a Yale history professor and leading scholar of Soviet Russia, was patching into Zoom from a hotel room in Kyiv, where the specter of authoritarianism looms large as Ukraine remains steeped in a yearslong military siege by Vladimir Putin. It was late at night and he was still winding down from, and gearing up for, a packed schedule—from launching an institution dedicated to the documentation of the war, to fundraising for robotic-demining development, to organizing a conference for a new Ukrainian history project. “I’ve had kind of a long day and a long week, and if this were going to be my sartorial first appearance in Vanity Fair, I would really want it to go otherwise,” he joked.

But the rest of our conversation was no laughing matter. It largely centered, to little surprise, on Donald Trump and how the former president has put America on a glide path to fascism. Too many commentators were late to realize this. Snyder, however, has been sounding the alarm since the dawn of Trumpism itself, invoking the cautionary tales of fascist history in his 2017 book, On Tyranny, and in The Road to Unfreedom the year after. It’s been six years since the latter, and Snyder is now out with a new book, On Freedom, a personal and philosophical attempt to flip the valence of America’s most lauded—and loaded—word. “We Americans tend to think that freedom is a matter of things being cleared away, and that capitalism does that work for us. It is a trap to believe in this,” he writes. “Freedom is not an absence but a presence, a life in which we choose multiple commitments and realize combinations of them in the world.”

In an interview with Vanity Fair, which has been edited for length and clarity, Snyder unpacks America’s “strongman fantasy,” encourages Democrats to reclaim the concept of freedom, and critiques journalists for pushing a “war fatigue” narrative about the Russian invasion of Ukraine. “There’s just something so odd about Americans being tired of this war. We can get bored of it or whatever, but how can we be tired?” he asks. “We’re not doing a damn thing.”

Vanity Fair: The things we associate with freedom—free speech, religious liberty—have been co-opted by the Republican Party. Do you think you could walk me through how that happened historically and how Democrats could take that word back?

Timothy Snyder: Yeah. I think the way it happened historically is actually quite dark there. There’s an innocent way of talking about this, which is to say, “Oh, some people believe in negative freedom and some people believe in positive freedom—and negative freedom just means less government and positive freedom means more government.” And when you say it like that, it just sounds like a question of taste. And who knows who’s right?

Whereas historically speaking, to answer your question, the reason why people believe in negative freedom is that they’re enslaving other people, or they are oppressing women, or both. The reason why you say freedom is just keeping the government off my back is that the central government is the only force that’s ever going to enfranchise those slaves. It’s the only force which is ever going to give votes to those women. And so that’s where negative freedom comes from. I’m not saying that everybody who believes in negative freedom now owns slaves or oppresses women, but that’s the tradition. That’s the reason why you would think freedom is negative, which on its face is a totally implausible idea. I mean, the notion that you can just be free because there’s no government makes no sense, unless you’re a heavily drugged anarchist.

And so, as the Republican Party has also become the party of race in our country, it’s become the party of small government. Unfortunately, this idea of freedom then goes along for the ride, because freedom becomes freedom from government. And then the next step is freedom becomes freedom for the market. That seems like a small step, but it’s a huge step because if we believe in free markets, that means that we actually have duties to the market. And Americans have by and large accepted that, even pretty far into the center or into the left. If you say that term, “free market,” Americans pretty generally won’t stop you and say, “Oh, there’s something problematic about that.” But there really is: If the market is free, that means that you have a duty to the market, and the duty is to make sure the government doesn’t intervene in it. And once you make that step, you suddenly find yourself willing to accept that, well, everybody of course has a right to advertise, and I don’t have a right to be free of it. Or freedom of speech isn’t really for me; freedom of speech is for the internet.

And that’s, to a large measure, the world we live in.

You have a quote in the book about this that distills it well: “The countries where people tend to think of freedom as freedom to are doing better by our own measures, which tend to focus on freedom from.”

Yeah, thanks for pulling that out. Even I was a little bit struck by that one. Because if you’re American and you talk about freedom all the time and you also spend all your time judging other countries on freedom, and you decide what the measures are, then you should be close to the top of the list—but you’re not. And then you ask, “Why is that?” When you look at countries like Sweden, Norway, Denmark, France, Germany, or Ireland—that are way ahead of us—they’re having a different conversation about freedom. They don’t seem to talk about freedom as much as we do, but then when they do, they talk about it in terms of enabling people to do things.

And then you realize that an enabled population, a population that has health care and retirement and reliable schools, may be better at defending things like the right to vote and the right to freedom of religion and the right to freedom of speech—the things that we think are essential to freedom. And then you realize, Oh, wait, there can be a positive loop between freedom to and freedom from. And this is the big thing that Americans get a hundred percent wrong. We think there’s a tragic choice between freedom from and freedom to—that you’ve got to choose between negative freedom and positive freedom. And that’s entirely wrong.

What do you make of Kamala Harris’s attempt to redeem the word?

It makes me happy if it’s at the center of a political discussion. And by the way, going back to your first question, it’s interesting how the American right has actually retreated from freedom. It has been central for them for half a century, but they are now actually retreating from it, and they’ve left the ground open for the Democrats. So, politically, I’m glad they’re seizing it—not just because I want them to win, but also because I think on the center left or wherever she is, there’s more of a chance for the word to take on a fuller meaning. Because so long as the Republicans can control the word, it’s always going to mean negative freedom.

I can’t judge the politics that well, but I think it’s philosophically correct and I think we end up being truer to ourselves. Because my big underlying concern as an American is that we have this word which we’ve boxed into a corner and then beaten the pulp out of, and it really doesn’t mean anything anymore. And yet it’s the only imaginable central concept I can think of for American political theory or American political life.

Yeah, it’s conducive to the joy-and-optimism approach that the Democrats are taking to the campaign. Freedom to is about enfranchisement; it’s about empowerment; it’s about mobility.

Totally. Can I jump in there with another thought?

Of course.

I think JD Vance is the logical extension of where freedom as freedom from gets you. Because one of the things you say when freedom is negative—when it’s just freedom from—is that the government is bad, right? You say the government is bad because it’s suppressive. But then you also say government is bad because it can’t do anything. It’s incompetent and it’s dysfunctional. And it’s a small step from there to a JD Vance–type figure who is a doomer, right? He’s a doomer about everything. His politics is a politics of impotence. His whole idea is that government will fail at everything—that there’s no point using government, and in fact, life is just sort of terrible in general. And the only way to lead in life is to kind of be snarky about other people. That’s the whole JD Vance political philosophy. It’s like, “I’m impotent. You’re impotent. We’re all impotent. And therefore let’s be angry.”

Did you watch the debate?

No, I’m afraid I didn’t. I’m in the wrong time zone.

There was a moment that struck me, and I think it would strike you too: Donald Trump openly praised Viktor Orbán, as he has done repeatedly in the past. But he said, explicitly, Orbán is a good guy because he’s a “strongman,” which is a word that he clearly takes to be a compliment, not derogatory. You’ve written about the strongman fantasy in your Substack, so I’m curious: What do you think Trump is appealing to here?

Well, I’m going to answer it in a slightly different way, and then I’ll go back to the way you mean it. I think he’s tapping into one of his own inner fantasies. I think he looks around the world and he sees that there’s a person like Orbán, who’s taken a constitutional system and climbed out of it and has managed to go from being a normal prime minister to essentially being an extraconstitutional figure. And I think that’s what Trump wants for himself. And then, of course, the next step is a Putin-type figure, where he’s now an unquestioned dictator.

For the rest of us, I think he’s tapping—in a minor key—into inexperience, and that was my strongman piece that you kindly mentioned. Americans don’t really think through what it would mean to have a government without the rule of law and the possibility of throwing the bums out. I think we just haven’t thought that through in all of its banality: the neighbors denouncing you, your kids not having social mobility because you maybe did something wrong, having to be afraid all the damn time. African Americans and some immigrants have a sense of this, but in general, Americans don’t get that. They don’t get what that would be like.

So that’s a minor key. The major key, though, is the 20% or so of Americans who really, I think, authentically do want an authoritarian regime, because they would prefer to identify personally with a leader figure and feel good about it rather than enjoy freedom.

You mentioned the word banality, which makes me think of Hannah Arendt’s theory of the “banality of evil.” What would the banality of authoritarianism look like in America?

So let me first talk about the nonbanality of evil, because our version of evil is something like, and I don’t want to be too mean, but it’s something like this: A giant monster rises out of the ocean and then we get it with our F-16s or F-35s or whatever. That’s our version of evil. It’s corporeal, it’s obviously bad, and it can be defeated by dramatic acts of violence.

And we apply that to figures like Hitler or Stalin, and we think, Okay, what happened with Hitler was that he was suddenly defeated by a war. Of course he was defeated by a war, but he did some dramatic and violent things to come to power, but his coming to power also involved a million banalities. It involved a million assimilations, a million changes of what we think of as normal. And it’s our ability to make things normal and abnormal which is so terrifying. It’s like an animal instinct on our part: We can tell what the power wants us to do, and if we don’t think about it, we then do it. In authoritarian conditions, this means that we realize, Oh, the law doesn’t really apply anymore. That means my neighbor could have denounced me for anything, and so I better denounce my neighbor first. And before you know it, you’re in a completely different society, and the banality here is that instead of just walking down the street thinking about your own stuff, you’re thinking, Wait a minute, which of my neighbors is going to denounce me?

Americans think all the time about getting their kids into the right school. What happens in an authoritarian country is that all of that access to social mobility becomes determined by obedience. And as a parent, suddenly you realize you have to be publicly loyal all the time, because one little black mark against you ruins your child’s future. And that’s the banality right there. In Russia, everybody lives like that, because any little thing you do wrong, and your kid has no chance. They get thrown out of school; they can’t go to university.

We don’t imagine how a regime change is going to be at the dinner table. The regime change is going to be on the sidewalk. It’s going to be in your whole life. It’s not going to be some external thing. It’s not like this strongman is just going to be some bad person in the White House, and then eventually the good guys will come and knock him out. When the regime changes, you change and you adapt, and you look around as everyone else is adapting and you realize, Well, everyone else adapting is a new reality for me, and I’m probably going to have to adapt too. Trump wants to be a strongman. He’s already tried a ​​ coup d’état. He makes it clear that he wants to be a different regime. And so if you vote him in, you’re basically saying, “Okay, strongman, tell me how to adapt.”

Yeah, we could talk about Project 2025 all day. This new effort to bureaucratize tyranny—which was not in place in 2020—could really make the banal aspect a reality because it’s enforced by the administrative state, which is going to be felt by Americans at a quotidian level.

I agree with what you say. If I were in business, I would be terrified of Project 2025 because what it’s going to lead to is favoritism. You’re never going to get approvals for your stuff unless you’re politically close to administration. It’s going to push us toward a more Hungary-like situation, where the president’s pals’ or Jared Kushner’s pals’ companies are going to do fine. But everybody else is going to have to pay bribes. Everyone else is going to have to make friends.

It’s anticompetitive.

Yeah, it’s going to generate a very, very uneven playing field where certain people are going to be favored and become oligarchs. And most of the rest of us are going to have a hard time. Also, the 40,000 [loyalists Trump wants to replace the administrative state with] are going to be completely incompetent. When people stop getting their Social Security checks, they’re going to realize that the federal government—which they’ve been told is so dysfunctional—actually did do some things. It’s going to be chaos. The only way to get anything done is to have a phone number where you can call somebody at someplace in the government and say, “Make my thing a priority.” The chaos of the administration state feeds into the strongman thing. And since that’s true, the strongman view starts to become natural for you because it’s the only way to get anything done.

You’ve studied Russian information warfare pretty extensively. A few weeks ago the Justice Department indicted two employees of the Russian state media outlet RT for their role in surreptitiously funding a right-wing US media outfit as part of a foreign-influence-peddling scheme, which saw them pull the wool over a bunch of right-wing media personalities. Do you think this type of thing is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Russian information warfare?

Of course. It’s the tip of the iceberg, and I want to refer back to 2016. It was much bigger in 2016 than we recognized at the time. The things that the Obama administration was concerned with—like the actual penetration of state voting systems and stuff—that was really just nothing compared to all of the internet stuff they had going. And we basically caught zilcho of that before the election itself. And I think the federal government is more aware of it this time, but also the Russians are doing different things this time, no doubt.

I’m afraid what I think is that there are probably an awful lot of people who are doing this—including people who are much more important in the media than those guys—and that there’s just no way we’re going to catch very many of them before November. That’s my gut feeling.

While we’re on Russia, I do want to talk about Ukraine, especially since you’re there right now. I think one of the most unfortunate aspects of [the media’s coverage of] foreign wars—the Ukraine war and also the Israel-Hamas war—is just the way they inevitably fade into the background of the American news cycle, especially if no American boots are on the ground. I’m curious if this dynamic frustrates you as a historian.

Oh, a couple points there. One is, I’m going to point out slightly mean-spiritedly that the stories about war fatigue in Ukraine began in March 2022. As a historian, I am a little bit upset at journalists. I don’t mean the good ones. I don’t mean the guys I just saw who just came back from the front. [I mean] the people who are sitting in DC or New York or wherever, who immediately ginned up this notion of war fatigue and kept asking everybody from the beginning, “When are you going to get tired of this war?” We turned war fatigue into a topos almost instantaneously. And I found that really irresponsible because you’re affecting the discourse. But also, I feel like there was a kind of inbuilt laziness into it. If war fatigue sets in right away, then you have an excuse never to go to the country, and you have an excuse never to figure out what’s going on, and you have an excuse never to figure out why it’s important.

So I was really upset by that, and also because there’s just something so odd about Americans being tired of this war. We can get bored of it or whatever, but how can we be tired? We’re not doing a damn thing. We’re doing nothing. I mean, there’s some great individual Americans who are volunteering and giving supplies and stuff, but as a country, we’re not doing a damn thing. I mean, a tiny percentage of our defense budget—which would be going to other stuff anyway—insead goes to Ukraine.

And by the way, Ukrainians understand that Americans have other things to think about. I was not very far from the front three days ago talking to soldiers, and their basic attitude about the election and us was, like, “Yeah, you got your own things to think about. We understand. It’s not your war.” But as a historian, the thing which troubles me is pace, because with time, all kinds of resources wear down. And the most painful is the Ukrainian human resource. That’s probably a terribly euphemistic word, but people die and people get wounded and people get traumatized. Your own side runs out of stuff.

We were played by the Russians, psychologically, about the way wars are fought. And that stretched out the war. That’s the thing which bothers me most. You win wars with pace and you win wars with surprise. You don’t win wars by allowing the other side to dictate what the rules are and stretching everything out, which is basically what’s happened. And with that has come a certain amount of American distraction and changing the subject and impatience. I think journalists have made a mistake by making it into a kind of consumer thing where they’re sort of instructing the public that it’s okay to be bored or fatigued. And then I think the Biden administration made a mistake by not doing things at pace and allowing every decision to take weeks and months and so on.

What do you think another Trump presidency would mean for the war and for America’s commitment to Ukraine?

I think Trump switches sides and puts American power on the Russian side, effectively. I think Trump cuts off. He’s a bad dealmaker—that’s the problem. I mean, he’s a good entertainer. He’s very talented; he’s very charismatic. In his way, he’s very intelligent, but he’s not a good dealmaker. And a) ending wars is not a deal the way that buying a building is a deal, and b) even if it were, he’s consistently made bad deals his whole career and lost out and gone bankrupt.

So you can’t really trust him with something like this, even if his intentions were good—and I don’t think his intentions are good. Going back to the strongman thing, I think he believes that it’s right and good that the strong defeat and dominate the weak. And I think in his instinctual view of the world, Putin is pretty much the paradigmatic strongman—the one that he admires the most. And because he thinks Putin is strong, Putin will win. The sad irony of all this is that we are so much stronger than Russia. And in my view, the only way Russia can really win is if we flip or if we do nothing. So, because Trump himself is so psychologically weak and wants to look up to another strongman, I think he’s going to flip. But even if I’m wrong about that, I think he’s incompetent to deal with a situation like this. Because he wants the quick affirmation of a deal. And if the other side knows you’re in a hurry, then you’ve already lost from the beginning.

[ennobaka]

One of my distant aunts (who just divorced my distant uncle so technically she's not my aunt anymore. Technically. She's cool tho) visited my SIL today and when I came down, the first thing she said to me was asking me when I would get married. And then after some talking she said not to marry unless I was 1000% sure that they would be good for me. Like, girl

[love-bitesx]

okay but imagine pavitr trying to play wingman for hobie to get with the reader and how funny/cute it would be

longer requests will be out this week, thank u all for the amazing support!! love you guys sm

: ̗̀➛ WINGMAN. hobie brown x reader headcanons

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

oh, he would be so annoying. in the best way.

you’d joined the spider society not long after the others, immediately clicking within the dynamic and it wasn’t uncommon for you all to just hang out in each others dimensions after a mission.

at first, hobie thought you’d simply peaked his interest because of your unspoken nature. constantly standing up for yourself and other spider people, putting people in their place if need be, just your general backbone intrigued him. you felt different to the others. that’s all he thought.

that was, until one afternoon, you were all packed into your apartment, music playing from the stereos and pavitr talking everybody’s ear off about god knows what. hobie had been silent for a while, no reason in particular, he’d been fiddling with the badges on his leather vest, in his own little world. well, until he felt a hand on his knee.

“hobie,” your voice was low, subtle, hanging just below the decibels of the melodies booming through the room, “are you alright? you’ve been quite quiet.”

“oh, uh,” he was taken aback, possibly by your hand that still lingered on his jeans, or how close he suddenly realised you were, seeing the soft details of your face and pigment in your cheeks for the first time, “yeah, no, i’m fine.” he cleared his throat.

smiling back at him, you took your hand away, moving back to get involved in the conversation again, not thinking much of it. regretfully, hobie looked up and saw pavitr staring at him, clearly having watched the ordeal and the excited smirk on his face told him that he’d definitely seen hobie flustered. he sighed.

after pavitr worked out that hobie had a thing for you, it was over for him.

he couldn’t even LOOK in your direction, without the shorter man hopping into his personal space, nudging him hard in the ribs, singing something about kissing in a tree.

constant comments about you to hobie

“y/n, i love your shirt! hobie, doesn’t it look so cool?”

“y/n! hobie told me to tell you he loves your shoes.”

“doesn’t y/n look sooo nice today! huh? hobie? what do you think?”

he was in hell, actually.

there was only so many "yeah, nice" he could say to you before he started to sound like a prick

on missions, he was insufferable

constantly making you guys work together somehow

“miguel, i think me and gwen work best as a team, don’t you think? y/n and hobie should do this one together”

swinging through the streets of whichever earth you were sent to, hearing distant yells of pavitr calling after you both “aren’t they cute together?!”

“good morning, hobie,” you grinned, sleep still evident in your voice as you wandered into the headquarters, beckoning to miguel’s very early morning mission call.

god, he was so thankful to have you alone for once. relief settled itself on his shoulders at the absence of his best friends’ watchful eye, happy to interact with you comfortably.

“mornin’,” he spoke, stretching his legs mindlessly out across the length of the desk, leaning back onto his arms, “how’d you sleep?”

“oh my god, i had the weirdest dream—” you begun, hopping up onto the adjoining surface, eyes lit up with passion as you ranted about the dream you had just resurfaced from.

he watched you the whole time, lips curling into a smile at the way you threw your hands around in the air as you spoke, reeling into every detail about your nonsensical experience. nodding every so often, he was almost enthralled by you – taking this peaceful moment as an advantage to see you properly. you were tired, sleep still evident in your eyes, hair a little chaotic in places, but the soft glow that it gave you made his heart skip.

he’d totally lost himself in speaking to you, listening to the excitement lacing your voice, that he didn’t realise other people had arrived.

well, until he felt a sharp elbow to the ribs.

“you guys are so cute together!” pavitr’s sing-song voice pierced hobie’s ears, shocked at the newcomers, “i saw the way you looked at them, loverboy.”

the nickname stuck

he’d been addressed more by “loverboy” than his own name, and his insides churned every single time

even gwen started calling him it, to which hobie would send a threatening glare

when you eventually did end up seeing each other, whether that be dating or other stuff, you both swore to keep it a secret

hobie refused to give pavitr the satisfaction of knowing he was right

so you would sneak around together, kissing in places you shouldn’t, stealing knowing glances in meetings, secret touches when no one was looking

he loved the risk of it all

but it was one afternoon, you’d both slipped away into an empty lab at the spider society headquarters, giggling to each other like kids as he dragged you into the vacant room

his hands were all over you, lips brushing whatever skin he could see, your arms slung around his neck as you kissed him

“did you lock the door?” you asked

“i thought you did.”

“OH. MY. GOD.” a third voice yelled.

you yelped, jumping away from hobie as a last ditch effort to maybe save some face

it was too late, pavitr stood there, mouth agape

hobie sighed, hanging his head

“GWEN! THEY DID IT!”

pavitr stepped back into the hallway and ran down towards where you’d both left them, his voice carrying through the metal walls

“LOVERBOY DID IT!”

you stood there, unsure whether if you just remained still, you could avoid whatever consequences you both faced

that was, until you felt hobie’s arm slide around your waist, pulling you back into him, an unintelligible look on his face

“we can’t keep it a secret anymore, i guess.” you spoke first, he let out a laugh

“i don’t think that’s such a bad thing,” he kissed you, softly.

a/n: hope this was okay!! currently got a bunch of requests in the works, so keep an eye out for more!!! also anymore headcanon ideas would be so fun!! thank u

[luveline]

carmy! i have a request, it’s so basic but everything you write is golden. him and r are pining coworkers, and maybe someone else yells at her or upsets her or whatever and he’s like but i’m the only one allowed to shout at you and he hugs her (because you know… arms 👀)

—Carmy tries to make you feel better after a customer upsets you. fem, 1.5k 

“Fucking asshole,” Richie mutters as the door swings closed. 

Carmy would cringe if he had the energy, or a lack of self-awareness —it’s not as though he doesn’t swear like a starved sailor every other sentence. 

“Who’s the asshole?” he asks, feeling down his side for the bump of a box of cigarettes he doesn’t find. 

He’s taken to hiding them in the office. He’d love to pretend it was an act of lent, but in actuality, he never told Ritchie that the box of cigarettes left near the burner, that gave them their C-army rating, wasn’t Richie’s at all, but Carmy’s. He isn’t ever planning on having that conversation, so he’s trying not to carry a box around and leave it somewhere stupid again. 

“Fucking– you didn’t just hear that guy?” Richie asks, scowling. 

Carmy scowls back. “Yeah, that’s why I’m asking. What the fuck do you think?” 

It’s slightly too much aggression off the cuff, but Richie brings it out of him. “Some asshole just came in here and started shouting like a motherfucker because he forgot his stupid napkins. I thought Sunshine was gonna cry her eyes out.” 

Carmy clocks back in fully. “What?” 

Sunshine is the mildly sarcastic nickname Richie gave you before Carmy ever step foot in The Beef. It’s not that you’re moody, but you’re always tired, and you give these little shy smiles out to anyone who asks how you are. I’m fine, you say every time, followed by something deflective like, I’m just tired. Lack of vitamin D from working in this place. 

“Where do scumbags get off, making girls cry like that?” 

Carmy's eyes widen. “She’s crying?” 

Richie is capable of seriousness, despite himself. “Yeah,” he says, his anger swapped out for a low remorse, “I told her to go sit in the office until she’s feeling better.” 

Carmy pauses. “Should I go look in?” he asks. 

“Duh, Carmen. You’re the only one who can make her feel better. Which I resent!” He brings a rag end from his shoulder to wipe his forehead, which is gross, but whatever. “I’m fucking excellent at being a shoulder to cry on.” 

Carmy doesn’t know what that means. Richie says it like it’s obvious, but since when is Carmy the only person who can make you feel better? You’ve known everybody here far longer than you’ve known him, and sometimes Carmy thinks you probably don’t want a thing to do with him, does anybody in the kitchen? You’re smart, and you’ve been working here as long as anybody, started when you were genuinely too young and learning everything you know from the other. You have potential, like everybody here. You just didn’t get the right training, and you’re defensive (again, like everybody here). 

Carmy’s almost positive you’re gonna tell him to fuck off when he knocks the office door. He doesn’t know why he does it, nobody knocks in this shithole, but he does. Maybe he’s buying time; you’ll be feeling better when he pushes the door fully open, and he won’t have to navigate the treacherous depths of his feelings for you while he’s so busy trying to work himself out.

You sniff, muffled, like  a sleeve is held over your face. “Hello?” you ask. 

Carmy gets a burst of energy and doesn’t ask before stepping into the room. You can’t say no if he doesn’t ask, and you don’t, looking at him from the rickety office chair with distrust, and then sheepishness. 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be in here.” 

“No, no, you can come in here,” he says. He has a bad habit of pausing too long and looking too close, hands clenched in front of himself. “You can come in here. Some asshole made you cry?” 

You shake your head with tears still wet on your cheek. You’re at home in the office, all the chaos and posters and paper trails a match for you dishevelled appearance. You’ve pulled your foot onto the chair, showcasing a shoe that’s falling apart and two pairs of socks pulled to uneven heights. Your hands are a riot, none of your jewellery but a mismatch of different coloured band-aids over a multitude of wounds. And your face glows with tears, shitty light of the desk lamp casting yellow onto your teary cheeks, your lips bitten raw. 

“I’m fine,” you say. 

Carmy doesn’t know what he was expecting, but he was hoping for a better confession. “Over napkins?” 

“Said I’m s’posed to put napkins in the bag,” you say, a monotony to your voice that’s forced and weak at once. “‘Cos I’m a fucking idiot, right, who doesn’t put napkins in the bag?” You sniffle. “Whatever. Richie said he can’t come back.” 

“He can’t,” Carmy says quickly. 

He fails to follow it up. There’s an idiot in the office, for sure, and it’s not you. 

Your mouth crumples and you look away from him, something achy about you as another tear falls down your cheek to curve into the skin above your top lip, making a home at your cupid’s bow. “I’m fine.” 

“You can be upset,” he says. “This job’s… hard enough, without people making you feel like shit for shit you didn’t do.”

You respond to his warm(ish) tone with a small smile. Your tear slips down your lip. Carmy wants to wipe it off. 

“What can I do?” he asks finally.

He wishes he could make you feel better without asking, and there are parts of him that want to turn tail and run, too, but Carmy stays standing in front of the half-open door watching as tears make their way to your chin. He doesn’t know why you’re still crying. 

Maybe he does. Carmy doesn’t usually cry. He just watches things go wrong without stopping them, or keels over in the alley for long, too fast minutes as his heart pumps a bruising rhythm against his ribs. 

“I’m fine, Carmy,” you say, wiping your face roughly as you stand from the chair.  

He scratches a hand through his hair. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” 

“You don’t have to anything.” 

“Richie said I’m the only person who can make you feel better.” 

“You’re just the only guy who ever shouts at me,” you tease, sniffling softly as you do. 

Carmy shouldn’t yell at anyone, but he does. You’ve never cried. He wouldn’t yell at anybody if he thought it would make them upset like that, it��s just that yelling’s like talking where he comes from, and the kitchen doesn’t help. 

“So what? Am I supposed to beat that guy up?” Carmy asks. 

You laugh through what he hopes to be the last of your tears, scrubbing at your cheeks ineffectually. “Like you could beat somebody up. You’re all bark and no bite, Berzatto.” 

Sure. And he’s a loser, he’s more than aware of it; Carmy knows fifty seven different ways to prepare corn for eating and he doesn’t know a single way to make girls feel better, so he tries something he saw on TV. 

“Come here,” he says, holding his arm out insistently. “C’mere.” 

He leans in to grab you. You hold your arms out, but you still when he touches you like you're shocked. He’s a little shocked too. 

“Richie knew the guy, right?” Carmy asks. 

“He said he’s banned for life.” 

“Okay, great.” Carmy feels up your back slowly. Your arms are hesitant behind him. He’s the braver one for once, feeling at the dips and slopes of you with a greedy hand.

You smell… really good. He has a good sense of smell, can pick apart a meal's ingredients by scent alone if he’s awake enough, so he can tell you’re wearing that little solid perfume you keep in your cubby, gentle enough to not bother anybody in the kitchen, ever so slightly milky and sweet. He can also smell the salt on your cheeks. So weird to be able to smell your tears. 

Carmy pats your back and leans away. Your hands fall to your side. 

He wipes your face hesitantly, pinky to your soft cheek, until your tear stains are dry and you’re looking at him steadily.

“That was really weird,” you say. 

He panics, stepping away from you, “Fuck. Fuck, sorry.” 

You shake your head. “No, I’m just kidding. Thanks, Carmy.” 

“Dick,” he says. 

You smile brightly. Okay, his heart fell into his ass when you said it was weird, but you can tease him all day if it makes you feel better. 

“I better go tell Richie I’m okay,” you say. “Don’t you have a stock to reduce?” 

“Oh, you mean your stock?” he asks. 

Your smile makes him wanna grab your wrist, and it makes him wanna chase after you. You slink out of the office, waving a quick goodbye with your fingers, and Carmy stares at the place you’d been sitting while you cried for a couple of seconds to get a grip.  

He puts his hand on his chest and feels his pulse racing. 

“Fucking asshole,” he mutters, not sure if he means the customer or himself.

[narizaki]

bad habits   suna rintaro x reader

―   tags   gender neutral reader,   fluff,   childhood friends to lovers

―   notes   wc is around 1.2k,   maybe ooc suna,   thank you for 100 followers, here's my gift to you <3

rintaro has many bad habits.

he’s well aware of them — so much so that he has a mental list of them. number 5 on the list is how he gets lazy during volleyball matches whenever he knows his team is in the lead. number 4 is how he never bothers to even attempt to mediate fights. though, he figures that one hardly counts as a bad habit, seeing as it’s the result of spending years around the miya twins. they would rather die than let anyone but kita or their mother get in between of their debacles. 

“tell me a secret, rin,” you hum into the phone.

you and rintaro have ingrained late-night phone calls into your routines after graduating high school and separating your own ways. with him working as a professional volleyball player, you hardly see each other anymore. he's always too busy with traveling and training, despite the fact you still live in the same city. although he knows you’d never tell him, he’s aware that you were upset when he began to have less and less time to talk to you. after all, he hadn’t spent the majority of his life with you to not know what makes you tick.

so, even though he’s stumbling over his own feet walking home, he’s still on the phone with you. he vaguely understands what you say before spouting out the first thing he thinks of — another bad habit of his.

number 3: he loses his filter when he’s tired. 

rintaro never had much of a filter to begin with, but his reserved nature essentially acted as one. he was certainly less blunt than people like kita and atsumu. as the years passed, though, it was made apparent to him that he became more curt with his words when in dire need of rest. he surmises that it’s something that happens to everybody, though, so he forgives himself for it.

“you know, i used to like you when we were kids,” he mumbles. “actually, it lasted until high school.”

you sputter on the other end, choking on your water. rintaro laughs at your incessant coughing.

“that was not funny! and, what? suna rintaro, are you drunk right now?” you yell into the receiver. the volume of your voice makes him wince, forcing him to tug his phone away from his ear. regardless, he laughs a little harder.

“full name? what happened to rin?” he almost whines, kicking a rock. you grumble on the other line. “and i’m not drunk.”

“rin,” you sigh, and he smiles at the nickname. “i know you like to fuck around with people, or whatever, but this isn’t something to joke about.” your tone is serious, almost scolding. rintaro only frowns. he’s not lying. he wouldn’t lie about something like this. he couldn’t, especially to you.

“i’m not joking, i swear. i did like you… or, still do?” he thinks aloud, questioning himself. rintaro is barely registering what he’s saying — mind fuzzy from the harsh day. his coach was particularly unforgiving today, leaving him sore and tired as he drags his feet back to his apartment. still, he continues. “yeah, still do, actually.”

“rin,” you say, exasperated, “you like me? as a friend, you mean?” 

even in his slightly delirious state, rintaro can tell you’re trying to save face — for you or for him, he’s unsure. what he does know is that you’d never thought he’d see you in a romantic light. it was his fault, really — you’d always been a hopeless romantic, but rintaro knew you’d considered him off-limits. aside from your long-term friendship, there was also his disinterested approach to dating. 

if only you knew how wrong you were.

he was never uninterested in dating — he just always had his eyes on you. that was where another bad habit of his shone through — number 2: he never tells anyone, anything. that, mixed with his hard-to-read demeanor, meant that nobody truly knew how he felt about you. of course, those around him could tell that you were close. everybody knew that you and rintaro had grown up together, so it was only a matter of time until people started assuming that the two of you had something more. while rintaro never gave those people the time of day, you’d always nervously deny their pries.

atsumu and osamu would always tease him (and sometimes, you) about it, but they quickly learned to give up once they saw his feigned indifference toward the subject and your immediate rejection to their statements. his default response was to brush them off — he’d rather die than give the twins out of all people anything to use against him, especially if it was about you. he’d never see the light of day again if miya atsumu was found teasing rintaro about something.

“rin? hello?” your voice echoes throughout his head, forcing rintaro into reality. 

“yeah, sorry,” he mumbles. he’s considering taking his word back — telling you that yeah, he does mean it as a friend. but he decides that he’s already too deep in and fuck it, he’s going to tell you. 

“i do like you…more than a friend. i have for a while, and i know it’s my fault that you had no idea, but i guess i’m telling you now?” rintaro grimaces at the uncertainty in his own voice. he’d always been so sure of himself — or, at least put effort into appearing as such. you’ve always been the exception to that, though, and he supposes that’s a fact that’ll never change. 

a beat of silence passes until you reply. 

“yeah. it is your fault.” you breathe. 

suddenly, all the air is gone from rintaro’s lungs. it forces him to stop in the middle of the sidewalk, shoes skidding against the concrete. his grip on his phone tightens, and he’s considering mumbling out some half-assed excuse about how he is, in fact, drunk. he’ll pray that you believe him, so he can run back to his apartment and maybe actually get drunk before pretending that everything is okay.

thousands of thoughts run through his head. some of them are about how he’s going to play this off, while others are about where you stand with him now. is this what being a setter feels like? having to go through hundreds of different situations to decide what will bring the best outcome? how shitty. he vaguely feels sympathy for atsumu. 

that is, until your laugh fills the air around him. 

“but you’ve told me now, so i think you should turn around.” 

he spins on his heel, coming face-to-face with you. your appearance is disheveled, looking as if you just ran to him — which, you did, based on the harsh breaths you’re taking — and you only have a thin t-shirt and sweatpants on. your phone is still by your ear, grinning at him. it’s childish and hopeful, reminding rintaro of the smiles you would send his way when the two of you would play on the swings during recess. he adored them just as much then as he does now.

rintaro has many bad habits. he’s aware of them, and despite what others may say, he’s come to terms with them.

but as he rushes forward and cups your face into his hands, he knows what he’d say if someone were to ask him what his worst habit was.

number 1: he can never say no to you.

[cyberl33ch]

Spring Fling💋

summary: Your roommate of a couple months decides to ask you out...kind of? What could transpire?

tw: smut MDNI, hopeless romance, drunk/tipsy sex, Abby is g!p, fingering & head.

pairing: G!P Abby x Inexperienced!Florist!Reader

Moving to Seattle wasn’t really the plan but getting out of your small town was exactly what you needed. Don’t get me wrong small towns are cute and everything's laid out for you but seeing the same old faces and going to the same old places gets tiring. And you can’t like getting away from the drama that your ex had caused was what you longed for. But having a hot roommate…you definitely did not plan for it.

Her name was Abby. She was very muscular with sort of a dusty blonde/brunette thing going on obviously the female definition of a dilf. She would go to the gym every morning which would leave you time to have the house to yourself in order to get ready for whichever job you were working. She also happened to pass by every time she was leaving the gym.

Sometimes she would come by and speak just to take a look at the fresh flowers that came in ever so often. You could obviously tell she had a green thumb the way she would cater to the ones in the apartment. Overall she was cool but that all changed randomly when she invited you out, even though you were quite busy with whatever shifts you managed to pick up.

The bell on the front shop door rings announcing someone entering. “Welcome to Bloomscape, what can I help you with?” You say putting down the spray bottle after watering the flowers behind the counter. You turn around to meet none other than Abby. Just your luck. “Oh hey Abby, the new peonies are out front if you’re-” “Would you like to go out with me?” She says, you realize her face is slightly red but you brush it off assuming she had an intense workout today. “Sorry with a couple friends not like…that.” She explains making you nod your head in understanding. Not going to lie that hurt a little bit. Like a slow jab to your heart. “Oh yeah sure…what time?” You question “Around 8pm you should be off by then right?” She asks. You nod your head and after working out the details she leaves rather quickly (and quite flushed if I do say so myself) not even looking at the peonies out front. Weird.

After closing up shop and making your way back to the apartment you walk in to realize she’s already invited her friends over to pregame. Assuming that’s what it was anyway you peek in the living room and say hello. “Hello!” You say as you wave at all 3 of them in the living room. “Oh shit- Guys this is the friend I invited out with us!” She says, gesturing for them to introduce themselves to you. “Hello, I’m Dina, these two shithead's friends.” One says pushing Abby's shoulder. “I’m Ellie.” Another quite attractive one says waving back to you shyly (if i do say so myself) “I’ll go get ready, nice to meet you guys!” You walk to your room and before you can even shut the door you hear Ellie saying that you’re “Smoking hot.” Smiling ear to ear you close the door before you can hear any further and start to get ready.

You walk out of your room and walk into the kitchen going in the fridge to search for a beer. When you feel a hand on your waist you jolt up meeting Abby. “Hey calm down darlin’.” She almost laughs out and hands you a beer knowing you’re searching for one. You take the beer smiling slightly, thanking her and closing the fridge. After an hour of pregaming you they decide it’s time to go to the bar. “Everybody set to go?” Abby questions looking at everyone grabbing her keys.

Hour 2 in the bar Dina and Ellie are the only ones looking groggy and soggy but you and Abby are having the time of your lives. You never knew that you and Abby had so much music taste in common. As the night started to grow older and older they started to play slower, more romantic music. You take your seat at the bar sipping your drink by Dina and Ellie who are both by now practically eye fucking each other.

You were about to go outside for a smoke when your thought was interrupted by a light tap on your shoulder. “Hey, do you mind dancing with me?” Abby asks with her face growing more red by the second. “Uh yeah of course” You smile. As soon as you two hit the middle of the floor she immediately puts her hands on your waist pulling you closer to her. You look up at her with big doe eyes and that’s when you start to feel the liquor finally hit you because she looks good enough to eat at this moment. She nuzzles your neck as your bodies practically become one. “I need you.” She whispers in your ear making you gasp which gives her enough time to slip her tongue into your mouth and take you in a devastating kiss.

As she pulls back from your lips you shoot her a confused look. “I thought you-” She shushes you putting her finger up to your lips. “Take a cab with me.” Abby demands taking your hand interlocking your fingers with hers as she makes her way through the sea of people on the dance floor. She gets up to the bar giving Ellie enough money to get a cab and pay for the drinks. As she reaches the outside she pauses for a moment taking in the cool spring breeze compared to the hot atmosphere of the bar. You’ve never really taken a moment to really soak in Abby’s features. Her hair which she rarely let down blowing with the wind. And oh gosh- her nose looks like you could ride that for days at a time.

You get so taken up in your thoughts you didn’t realize she was staring right back at you. “Can I have my face back?” She jokes you lightly jabbing her shoulder. “Jeez, I’m just joking…that hurt a bit.” Abby says pouting and rubbing her shoulder softly. “Aw, is the baby hurt?” You say mocking her pouting and rubbing your shoulder. “Yeah yeah whatever lets start walking weirdo.” She says rolling her eyes rather sassily.

Weirdo. Weirdo? WEIRDO?? “You want to talk about weird? Let’s talk about how you always treat me like a little sister and then randomly kiss me.” You sass back at her, narrowing your eyes as you two begin your journey back to the apartment. “I’ll do it again.” Abby treats this as if were a threat to your safety as she can’t seem to choose between looking at your lips or your eyes. “Whatever sass-factor!” You roll your eyes at her crossing your arms.

Back at the apartment you assume you two are just going to go your separate ways again like this never happened.“So…we just go our separate ways?” You mumble out just above a whisper as your vision starts to blur from tearing up. “What if we didn’t?” Abby says taking a step closer to you. “What if?” You accept the challenge, taking another step towards her. Abby pulls you closer by your waist and takes off your jacket for you, discarding it on the sofa. Followed by taking off her own and dropping it right by her feet. “What if?” She quirks an eyebrow staring straight at your glossy lips. After that she just couldn’t play this little game you were playing with her anymore as she takes you in another breathtaking kiss and lifts you up like you’re nothing.

You straddling her waist as she sets you down on the bed, her kneeling in front of you making full eye contact as she takes off your shoes for you. She looks up at you resting her hands on your thighs. “Do I have your consent?” Abby asks, peering into your eyes. God's consent is sexy. “Yes.” You nod. Abby follows this with sliding down your underwear and pinning you to the mattress, her on top of you. She then takes two fingers and taps on your lips asking demanding for entrance. “Suck.” She orders as you open your mouth and swirl your tongue around her digits.

“Good girl” She praises. She then takes them out of your mouth leaving a string of saliva as she lifts up your dress and starts to coat her fingers in your arousal and insert them up until her knuckles. The length of her fingers makes you immediately grab her wrist moaning. “Fuck! Abby…” You pant out as she starts to pick up the pace, shouting her name like it’s a mantra. “Thaaat’s it baby take it.” She affirms as the knot in your stomach comes undone faster and faster. “Gonna cum…” You mumble out making her grab your chin realizing she wants to see your reaction as you eat up the pleasure she was dishing out.

As you feel your release coating her fingers and your surroundings becoming more and more fuzzy by the second. You sit up seeing her licking her fingers clean making full eye contact with you. By the time her fingers are practically wrinkly from the hydration they were getting she turns you around and starts unlacing your dress. Grazing her fingertips lightly on the skin of your back. “Your skin is so soft…” Abby says just above a whisper.

She starts kissing you and leaving little love bites and marks that’ll surely bruise in the morning. You hear her start to strip behind you and just as she’s taking off her boxers you get a good glimpse of what’s to come. And you start to turn around and make full contact with her long, thick, blushed precum dripping shaft. More so gawking at it because she definitely noticed while taking off her shirt.

“You wanna touch it?” She asks, reaching out to grab your hand, as she guides your hand onto the base of it. “Don’t be scared mama.” Abby chuckles, still guiding your hand to slowly stroke it making her grunt. As she slowly softens her grip and lets you take control, throwing her head back in pleasure grunting loudly. She grabs your chin absentmindedly removing your hand and picking up the pace as her eyes sear into your soul as she motions for you to open your mouth.

Followed by multiple grunts and curses she finally releases ropes of herself onto your tongue. As you close your mouth and swallow the liquid. “Hands and knees” Abby demands with low lidded eyes. You follow her instructions in a daze as she grabs a hold on your hips, forcing you to arch your back. Abby cautiously slides the tip in after realizing how tight you were, grunting in pleasure as a response. “Fuuuck” She mumbles out her eyes closed as you squeeze around her length. As she takes her time inch by inch she eventually bottoms out. This feels good of course but she can hear you whimper as you taste the saltiness of your tears.

Abby slowly starts to pick up a steady pace as you start to reach back trying to slow her down as the tears come down more frequently. “Nuh uh baby you can take it” She says in between grunts swatting your hand away as you grip the sheets. As her pace quickens she pulls you up by your shoulder, taking that hand and wrapping it around your throat. She then takes her other hand from your hip and starts rubbing your sensitive clit.

Your eyes roll back in your head as she tops that off by kissing your neck, knowing by the way you were growing louder she knew you were close to your orgasm. Abby reaches an unimaginable pace and that’s when you feel it hit you like a tsunami. As you feel her warm seed fill you up and mix with yours you finally come down from the drunken, fuzzy high you two were in. You feel her pull out and the mix of you guys’ climax slide down your legs.

After you two showered together and put on pajamas you both lie in the bed, her spooning you. You’ve dozed off a while ago as she just admires your beauty in the moonlit room. Brushing the hair out of your face, she pecks your temple and dozes off along with you.

my masterlist

(tell me in my ask my anything's if you have a request!)

[marksmelodies]

lovestruck

idol mark lee x fem nct member reader

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: suggestive, sex, mentions of sex

minors dni

note: one thing about me is i will eat the one bed trope up everytime

—————————————————————————

you and mark are close, considering you’re both in the same units you guys spend a lot of time together, you both get along really well and your friendship is easy going, at least that’s what everybody thinks

the truth is you’ve have had a massive crush on him since you became apart of nct, it was like love at first sight for you, the first time you saw him butterflies invaded your stomach and to this day you still get that feeling when you look at him

on the plane currently flying to japan to preform at the nct nation concert you sit next to taeil as your head begins to lean on his shoulder falling fast asleep, “y/n psst y/n wake up we’re here” you feel somone shaking your arm, taeil and mark stand over you as you blink a few times rubbing your eyes “oh okay thanks” you say getting up and collecting your belongings before leaving the plane

you head straight to soundcheck after the flight, you and your members all gather at the arena, walking over to jaemin you lean the top of your head to his chest and he pets your hair “how was your flight?” you ask since you two didn’t fly together “it was good i slept the whole time” he said as you laugh “i did too, i fell asleep on taeil”

you, mark and haechan switch between stages for different units practicing for the show, after long hours of hard work you’re finally able to go to the hotel, as you arrive it was decided that you and mark would share a room since everyone else was already paired up, once getting checked in everyone went to their respected rooms

mark opens the door as you follow behind him into the room, you both look at each other with wide eyes as you notice there’s only one bed.

“um i-i can go get the staff and have them sort it out or i could just sleep on the floor or something” mark stutters scratching the back of his head

honestly you were way too sleepy to even care “i don’t mind really im just exhausted let’s not disturb the staff they’re probably just as tired” you say dropping your bags on the floor

“yeah you’re right it’s not a big deal” mark says before opening his suit case “you showering first or am i?” mark asks

“you can shower first, i’ll order us some food what do you want?” you ask as he gives you his order making his way to the bathroom, you ordered the food as you sit on a chair in the corner of the room “oh my god i’m sharing a bed with mark” you realize

this isn’t the first time you and mark shared a room, you’ve shared rooms before but not often, usually jaemin was your roommate for tours with nct dream and taeil was your roommate for 127 but sometimes it would get switched and you’d end up with a different member, you two sharing the bed however would be the first, you hear the water stop, you try and act natural scrolling aimlessly through your phone “oh shit” you hear mark whisper through the door, he comes out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist “sorry i forgot something” he says grabbing a pair of boxers before heading back into the bathroom

“stop it, he’s your co worker that’s weird” you tell yourself as you feel yourself getting wet from the sight of him, finally he walks out again completely dressed as he shakes his head in attempt to dry his hair “the bathrooms all yours” he says walking over to sit on one side of the bed

you turn the shower on as you feel the warm water hit your back, as you shave your body you can’t help but imagine mark naked, his dick moving in and out of your pussy as you moan his name running your hands through his dark hair “ fuck” you say to yourself as you become extremely horny, you finish up trying to ignore the feelings in between your legs as you dry off and change into your pajamas that consist of white cotton shorts with tiny red hearts all over them and matching cami top, you look at yourself in the mirror noticing your pajamas are quite revealing, your shirt was slightly cropped showing off the diamond of your belly button piercing as and your shorts showed the tiniest bit of ass peaking through the bottom

you sigh before drying your hair and doing your skincare routine, putting lotion, deodorant and perfume on considering you were going to be sharing a bed with the man of your dreams you wanted to smell addicting

opening the door you see mark laying in bed on his phone, the delusions are running wild in your mind “he looks so good” you say to yourself as you walk to your suitcase putting some things back into it, mark looks to you and then to what you’re wearing, his eyes widen, as much as he tries not to.. at the end of the day he’s still a man, his eyes travel down to your ass as you’re bent over in front of him rummaging through your suitcase, once you stand up he looks at your boobs practically spilling out of your top, the blood quickly runs to his dick as he tries his best to hide the growing boner under the sheets “damn it y/n” he cusses in his head as he desperately tried to palm himself without you knowing

as you were about to lay next to him in bed the knock on the door keeps you from doing so “oh that must be the food” you say exactly walking to the door

“mark the foods here” you tell him as you set everything up on the table, he gets up taking his food before sitting down across from you “oh my gosh this is so good” you practically moan as your eyes roll in the back of your head, in any other circumstance mark would have just found it a funny gesture to how much you love food but he was extremely turned on and what you just did made it so much worse

mark nearly chokes on the food in his mouth as he hears the moan leave your lips, the thinks about how you would sound in bed as he fucks deep into you, “how are you feeling about tomorrow” you ask him bringing him back from his thoughts “oh um i’m pretty confident with everything i think we’ll all do really good, im excited” he smiles at you “i agree” you say finishing up your food

you and mark both stand in front of the bathroom mirror brushing your teeth, the bathroom was small making it hard to move around with two people, you stand by the sink as mark hears his phone go off “i should probably check that” he says with the toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, he attempts to scoot behind you but as he does his dick accidentally slides across your ass as he leaves the room

you stand there in complete shock to what just occurred and on the other side of the room mark does the same, both of you however acted like nothing happened as you continue finishing getting ready for bed

“i’m gonna sleep on the floor” mark says as you approach the bed

“mark don’t be stupid, get in bed, your whole body is going to ache if you sleep on the ground and we have a show tomorrow” you say to him getting under the sheets as he sighs doing the same, both of you are on the edge of the bed in attempt to be as far away from each other as you possibly can “goodnight mark” you say turning off the light “goodnight y/n”

it was silent the both of you were to scared to move which resulted in feeling really uncomfortable and not able to fall asleep, without thinking you shift you body away from the edge and closer to mark, mark turns his head looking at you before scooting closer as well, shoulders practically touching its impossible not to feel the sexual tension between the both of you, it’s almost too much to handle, the more tired you get the more bold you become due to your slight deliriousness

the both of you turn your heads towards each other at the same time locking eyes “mark” you whisper inching closer to him really hoping you aren’t misreading the signs, you’re both inches away you can feel his breath coming from nose, you place one of your hands on his stomach and he slightly flinches from your touch as he blinks at you before he makes his move

mark places a hand to your cheek before leaning in closer “can i kiss you” he asks looking at your lips “yes please” you beg before his lips smash into yours, it was a heated kiss, his hands move from your face and behind roaming your body as one of them lands on your ass scooting you even closer, he slightly grabs your ass causing you to slightly moan into the kiss, mark pulls away as you both catch your breath “god you smell so good” mark says as he looks into your eyes

“mark i need you” you whine as he looks to you with big eyes “are you sure” he asks as you nod your head yes “im so sure” you say tracing his abs

you’re now underneath him as his lips are back on yours, tongues fighting for dominance as mark clearly wins, he trails kisses down your neck and chest as his hands play with the hem of your shirt “can i take it off” he asks as you give him permission

mark groans from the sight of your boobs, feeling like i virgin again who can’t control himself over a pair of tits “fuck your so pretty” he says looking at you before his lips attach themselves to one of your boobs at he plays with the other “mark” you whimper as your hand goes straight to his hair “you like that baby? you like your tits getting sucked” he says leaving a few kisses to your nipple before trailing more kisses down your body “when did you get this” he asks pointing to your belly piercing, you chuckle at his obliviousness “like two years ago”. to be fair you never showed much skin to the members so you wouldn’t have expected mark to know “it’s so hot” he replies before moving up to give you a kiss on the lips “you’re so hot y/n” he says kissing you once more, you give him permission to keep going as he takes off your pants

“no underwear?” he asks smirking at you “and here i thought you were so innocent” he says before pulling his own shirt off along with his shorts leaving him in nothing but his boxers

“mark fuck me please” you whine

“be patient baby, be a good girl for me” he says as he pulls his boxers off causing his hard cock to smack against his stomach, you gulped at his size, honestly you were not expecting that from mark but he was bigger than what you’ve ever handled

mark spreads your legs as he stand on his knees in between them looking to you for one last yes before he slowly pushes his dick into you causing you both to moan “you’re pussy is so pretty baby,fuck princess you’re so wet for me” he says pushing himself deeper “you’re so tight babe, you feel so good” he says leaning over to hover you “mark you’re so big” you moan holding both of your hands to his face pulling him into a kiss

mark lets you get used to his size before finding his rhythm as he fucks into you faster and faster, you wrap your legs around his hips as your head falls back letting out moans

“you sound so pretty for me baby” he says interlocking your hands together on the mattress as he gently pins you down “god you feel so good” he repeats himself as he takes his hands from yours grabbing onto your waist as he takes himself out of you roughly ramming back into you, he does that a few times before he brings your legs over his shoulders fucking himself deeper into

“fuck mark i’m going to cum” you moan as a smile creeps onto his face “ cum for me princess” he says as you let yourself go feeling tingles shoot through your body “mark” you moan as your legs begin to shake

“good girl, you’re doing such a good job for me baby, you’re taking me so well” he says kissing your lips

he switches positions again as your legs are now pressed against your chest, the headbord is smashing against the wall as the bed slightly creeks due to his fast thrusts

mark feels you tightening around his cock as he brings his fingers to your clit roughly rubbing it until your jaw goes slack as strings of moans leave your body and your legs shake announcing your orgasm as he lets you ride it out

mark feels himself getting close as well as he pounds himself into so hard you start to see stars, he brings his hand up wrapping it around your throat as his thrusts become sloppy and his head hangs low “fuck i’m coming baby, i’m coming” he says as his hands go back to your hips before you feel a warm sensation fill you “fuckkk” he moans as his cum releases into your slightly fucking the cum deeper into you before pulling out as it leaks out from you whole “ fuck that’s hot” he says pushing his cum back into your pussy causing you to squirm

he kisses your lips as you look up to him completely out of it “look at you so fucked out for me princess” he says pushing your hair out of your face as he gets out of bed to clean you up

laying on his chest as the both of you lay under the covers completely naked “mark?” you say playing with his fingers “yes baby?” he says looking down at you “do you actually like me or did you just want to fuck” you ask almost regretting it

mark sits up a bit making you sit up as well as he grabs your chin making you look up at him “i’ve been in love with you for a long time, you don’t know how long i’ve wanted to do this” he says kissing your lips “everything i said was true,you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen” he says

you look up to him with a big smile “good because i’ve been in love with you for as long as i can remember” you say settling back down into his chest “i wished we had figured this out sooner” you laugh “yeah me too baby” mark responds

“you’re my girl you know that?” he says rubbing your stomach

“i wouldn’t want to be anyone else’s” you say as your eyes begin to drift off into a deep sleep

the next morning you wake up to johnny, jaehyun,jeno and jaemin bursting into your room

“get up love birds and get decent, we have breakfast to attend to” johnny yells throwing a pillow at you two as you lay cuddled next to eachother without a single piece of clothing on

“yo get out” mark says waving his hands to shew them away as they all chuckle before leaving “hope you used protection” jaemin yells before closing the door

you and mark shoot up starting at eachother remembering the events of last night and how you in fact did not use protection

“fuck”

—————————————————————————

[lookforsomeoneelse]

New Simulated Universe Update (SAHSRAU btw)

Can you tell i made a d in english? because I didn’t. Sorry about that. Anyway, I had some brainrot about how busted our blessings would be in sahsrau SU, because, like, everybody and their mother in that au would basically throw everything they love out of the window for us to throw a single glance at them. Also, this takes inspo from other works. Yeah, yeah, I’m a plagiarist, I know.

Let’s say you play Honkai: Star Rail. You’re a big fan- you’ve been playing since launch, have an excellent team comp, and have cleared all of the story and side content.

However, the game’s been… in a content drought for a while, roughly about 3 months without a single update- not even a patch or bug fix! That’s odd. Hoyo would have normally announced at least a single character by now, wouldn’t they?

And, getting extremely bored, and with nothing else to do, you seriously consider taking a break from the game. After all, there’s nothing to do.

Except farm. And you’re getting tired of even that.

But just then, a miracle happens- or at least it’s a miracle to you. The game finally gets an update. You’re confused- they should have announced that in some shape or form, but you also get excited. What have they added this time?

And then you find out, much to your dissatisfaction and/or disappointment, that they just doubled down and just added in a new version of the Simulated Universe, called “Simulated Universe: New Game +” to “fix” the lack of content- they’re just making you do SU again- but hey, they also added another Aeon along with it, so that should count for lore!

So you go and wait for it to download and open it up.

When you do, you’re notified in game of a text message from Herta. Uncharacteristically, its tone is noticeably off from how she normally acts- practically begging you to please please please come to her office- because apparently, she’s dug up some info on this new Aeon that’s apparently been around for the longest time, and she’s finally managed to obtain enough data to create a simulated version of THEM- thirsty for something to do, you oblige, using a space anchor to reach her. Surprisingly, there’s only one available for your use.

Once you actually arrive, a cutscene plays, depicting Herta, once again very much out of character, grabbing on to the trailblazer’s arm and practically dragging them across the space station to her office, the widest grin on the puppet’s face. “Huh,” you think to yourself, “She must have struck gold if she’s acting all crazy like this.”

Once you actually make it inside- Herta finally gives you a complete explanation of what’s happening- she’s “finally” dug up enough information about this Aeon that you “should already know” and that you should also “start immediately.”

You do, and you’re met with a new path for blessings- Guidance, and holy cow, is-is that 300% break effect and 180% damage and 50% crit rate boost? What? That’s insane- what is the dev team doing with their game???

Obviously, you pick it- it’s the only option available, and even if there were other options, this one would likely be the best.

As you and your party traverse through the station, and obtain absolutely absurd blessings- all damage dealt will have the character gain a shield equal to half of that permanently, follow up attacks trigger twice, all characters gain a self-revive- it’s really bad balancing on Hoyoverse’s part, and it’s the greatest power trip you’ve had while playing this game so far. But it’s also getting boring. One shotting everything isn’t exactly the best thing to do on loop, and the game throws you a bone in the form of finally meeting the Aeon that Herta was talking about.

However, before that happens, Herta pulls you aside- and you can’t believe it, but she’s even more out of character now- hell, she’s fangirling, saying stuff like “I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I was a baby” and urging you to give the Aeon the absolute utmost respect- and to never forget to do it.

As it turns out, the so-called “interaction” between you and THEM is just dialogue describing how you will always serve and praise them for all eternity- and you seriously take into consideration getting whatever the hell the writers have been smoking over the past couple months to put this down on paper and call it a good idea.

Weirded out by very strange design choices, you decide that it’s time for a break after all is said and done, and close the app.

If this is the legitimate road that Hoyoverse is going down, you’re worried about the future of the game.

You should really be more worried about your future, sweetie. After all, they’re all working so hard to bring you to them through that screen.

They love you. So so much.

[chessholic]

ー

The One With

Joey's Food

ー

Joey Tribbiani

x

Reader

Summary: JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD... However it seems that rule might not apply when it comes to you.

Author's Note: Someone asked me to publish my Joey fanfics, so this one is for you. <3

ps. I made that iconic Joey's Meatball Sub, it really made me feel alive again.

New comfort food unlocked

ー

You were so tired, and hungry.

Oh dear, you could eat a horse right now. Or maybe not if that meant eating the entire horse.

Finally you got yourself inside being greeted with everyone else except Joey.

Where was he? You could really just snuggle against your friend to forget all your worries. Joey felt like home, he felt safe.

Except Chandler would disagree with you, strongly, not that you could blame him after that robbery thingy.

"It's a zombie! Everybody, run!", Chandler shouted while jumping behind Ross and pushing him towards you.

"Hey!", Ross squeaked realising that Chandler, his best friend since the beginning of time, was sacrificing him to this supposed 'zombie'.

"Hahaha", you laughed a dry sarcastic laugh while getting your jacket off.

"What happened to you?", Rachel asked noticing your disheveled look.

"Your eye bags-", Rachel was saying before you gave her a stern look that did shut her up.

Monica also gave Rachel an are-you-serious look before helping you sit down at the kitchen tables chair

"Work huh?", Monica asked already knowing what was behind your current state.

Before you started to explain Joey made a grand appearance with his iconic sandwich. It makes your stomach growl and mouth water.

Joey sat at the table next to you, he gave you a tender look before getting ready to destroy his food, with the intention of not leaving even crumbs behind.

"So. I got to work a few hours early because my boss asked me to and as we know my boss, I couldn't refuse-", you started taking a deep breath.

"I had my mom's cooking for lunch, but there was so much going on I didn't have time to eat. And when I finally did- that ass had eaten it! My food! It was supposed to be the only good thing today, and it was taken away from me", you rambled trying not to break down completely.

"Oh, this reminds me of that 'MY SANDWICH' thing", Chandler said looking at Ross who just looked back at him shooting daggers out of his eyes.

"Oh, this gets much worse. I confronted that- idiot and it got a bit heated. Long story short, I got fired", you ended your story leaving out the details of wandering around the city crying your eyes out.

"Let's celebrate!", Phoebe cheered from the couch making everyone turn to look at her.

"Yeah, you hated that job! More than I hated serving coffee!", Rachel said trying to comfort you.

"I didn't hate the job, but the people", you muttered burying your face into your hands.

"That's my girl!", Chandler cheered giving you a quick pat on the back before hurrying towards the armchair.

Your stomach made a loud noise and you felt truly awful.

"Do you have anything to eat Monica? I don't have anything at home", you asked carefully your voice cracking slightly.

"I need to go quickly to the store-", Monica started hurrying to gather her stuff.

"Here, you can have my meatball sub"

The time seemed to slow down.

Phoebe stopped chewing her hair.

Rachel had her hand covering her mouth that was hanging open.

Monica dropped her purse to the floor.

Chandler almost fell off the armchair.

Ross had a look on his face that would be expected if someone would prove to him that dinosaurs had never existed.

You lifted your head to see Joey smiling and offering his food, to you, you.

Joey had a small amount of the sauce on his face.

"I already took a couple of bites if that's okay", he said looking a bit sheepish.

"Really?", you asked voice slightly shaky, knowing that nobody else dared to move or speak.

Joey nodded and you reached towards him. But to everyone's surprise you didn't take the sandwich.

However you got up and put your arms around his neck. Burying your face to his neck you mumbled so many thank you's that nobody could say exactly how many there was.

Maybe ten? Hundred? Hundreds? Who knows.

Then you gave a kiss to his cheek before pulling away and snatching the sandwich from him.

Eagerly you started eating it and you moaned slightly at the most delicious thing you had ever eaten.

"JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!", everyone suddenly shouted after they switched glances between each other.

Joey tried to look like he had no idea what they were talking about, his face was oddly red and he was feeling warm and fuzzy.

Joey loved seeing you happy, he could sacrifice one meatball sub for your happiness.

But only one.

When Joey looked at you eating happily his favourite Meatball Sub he couldn't even see anything else than you. He didn't even care about his friends who were still shocked and wanted answers.

Joey would give you every meatball sub for the rest of his life if it meant seeing you so utterly happy.

But he wanted a bite, at least.

ー

[cowgurrrl]

Strangers

Pairing: Javier Peña x fem!reader (cowgirl!reader???)

Author’s note: goddammit is this gonna be a thing

Summary: Javi struggles to assimilate back into civilian life in Texas until an old friend returns [1.5k]

Warnings: Texas Javi my beloved, language, addictive tendencies, PTSD symptoms, Javi + Steve 4eva, reader has a brother, southernisms, pining, yeah there’s probably gonna be a part two 🙄

Javi really did try his best to leave Colombia and the ghosts that pricked at his memory every time he turned a familiar corner. He wanted to do better. He felt he had to. Too many people died for him to just throw away his chance at life, but the days were long and hot, and he was so fucking tired. The nicotine patches stopped working, and the bottle suddenly wasn't enough to convince himself he was doing what he was sent to do. That he was doing the right thing. That he was a good person. 

He expected the feeling to leave him once he left the imaginary borders of Colombia and returned to the northern valley. He thought working with his dad and getting his feet back under him after years of being pushed and pulled at Reagan's whim would feel better than shaking down teenagers for narco information. Of course, it didn't disappear in the cacti and hazy horizons of Loredo or the arms of his father. It's only been a couple of hours, Peña, he thought. Give it some time. Who knows? Blistering Texas sunsets might be good for burning the blood off his hands. 

Except everybody in his small town knew of his exploits in Latin America. They knew his name was plastered to boxes full of evidence against the cartel and then some. They knew Chucho's boy was some kind of fucked up veteran or hero or whatever they wanted to call him. He avoided going into town more than necessary when he first got home because of how often he got stopped. It didn't matter if he was going to the hardware store, HEB, or the mechanic. Somebody ended up talking to him about Escobar or Cali. He couldn't escape his past even thousands of miles away from it. The only good thing about his newfound fame was the free drinks people pushed his way in the shit hole bar just on the outskirts of town. 

He tells himself to slow down, what with the early mornings and long days he's working, but it'd be a dick move to turn down free drinks, right? Sometimes, Javi loses hours in the bar, betting money on pool, flirting with women passing through town, and telling war stories of the jungle and sicarios and whatever else comes spilling out of his loose lips. He tells himself he's coping the best way he knows how when he comes down for breakfast looking and feeling like shit, his hair practically wet from lingering cigarette smoke, but he knows better. 

His dad deals with Javi's vices the same way they dealt with his mother's death: inefficiently and without making a sound. The most Chucho does is shake his head and sigh when Javi comes stumbling in at some ungodly hour. What more could he do? Javi barely told his dad where he was in the world. How was he supposed to tell him what he'd done? What he saw? What he allowed? No, his dad can never know. It'll kill him. It'll kill Javi to retell. 

Sometimes, Javi will call Steve and ask about Connie and the kids, and they'll act like they're old school buddies and not tethered together through tragedy and white powder. Steve will ask him about his sleep, and Javi will give some bullshit answer which makes Steve laugh. "Yeah, me too," he says one time. "Woke the baby up the other night 'cause I was talkin' again. Don't even know what about. Isn't that fun?" Javi doesn't give much away. He never does, but sometimes, it's just nice to know he's not alone in his struggle to get back to normal. 

Javi is back in town for a full forty days before he finally stumbles across you. At first, he doesn't remember you or your first name. Your last name, however, rattles around his skull until he finally gets the courage to ask if he knows you as he stands in line at the store. "You look familiar." He says, making you laugh. 

"I'd hope so. You were practically livin' in my house in high school." You say, throwing him back to his high school baseball days, spending time either in the field or on the ranch with your older brother. You were a little bit younger than him— the daughter of a weathered cattle rancher— and only caught his attention when you were in the way or being an obnoxious teenager. Man, did you grow up pretty, he thinks. Suddenly, he's hyperaware of his sweaty hair, rumpled shirt, and god-awful farmer's tan. 

"Last I heard, you'd moved out of town," Javi says, crossing his arms over his chest and eyeing you carefully. The freckles dotting your face from all your time in the sun should be considered lethal, especially when you smile. 

"Last I heard, you were engaged." Just as you did then, you don't hold your punches. The jab doesn't hurt, but it does make him laugh, an embarrassed blush crawling up his neck.

"Alright, you got me there," he says. "How's your brother?"

"Good. Married Suzanna a few years ago, and now they've got some babies running around." 

"They live around here?"

"Dallas," you say. "Dillon thinks he's too good for us and decided to be a real estate agent out there instead."

"Sounds riveting," Javi says and you laugh. The line gets shorter and shorter as you talk, but he can't focus on anything but you. "And you? What's a pretty girl like you still doing in this shit hole?" Something behind your eyes flickers at the comment and you take a deep breath, suddenly all too aware of how hot it is today.

"Somebody's gotta get Daddy off the horse every once in a while."

"And what? Your mama can't do that for you?"

"She knows better than to keep tryin'. I'm just as stubborn as he is, so one of us'll win or give up before the other." 

"Well, my money's on you." He says easily. You stare at each other for a little bit longer than necessary before the clerk calls you by name to get your attention. Your items are scanned, bagged, and paid for all in the span of a few seconds. You have no reason to linger in the checkout aisle, but you do, rocking on your boots' heels just a little. 

"Don't be a stranger, Peña." You say, looking him over as if you're seeing him for the first time. 

"I don't think this town's big enough for that." He says, and you chuckle.

"No, I don't think so either," you say. "Tell your dad I said hi." With all your Southern hospitality, you turn and leave. Javi watches you go until the clerk calls his name and breaks him out of it. Well, that and the sound of something crashing to the floor makes him reach for a gun he doesn't carry anymore. His shoulders brace for an explosion, and he can't catch his breath. He stares at the box and the broken jars in it as a pissed-off employee storms off to find a broom. He scoffs. 

Javi has dealt with some of the most dangerous people in the world, and jams are what spike his adrenaline. 

He tries to shrug it off and pay the cashier, but his ears are still ringing, and his heart is still racing when he climbs back into his truck. Fucking jam. He tries to forget about it as he drives home. He wants to forget about it. He wants to think of anything else. 

If that happens to be your smile, the way your laugh fills the air, or the inconspicuous way you looked at him when he complimented you, it's just a coincidence. 

When he gets home, he's craving a drink or a cigarette or something more physical to get his mind off of what happened. His shoulders slump with the weight of memory and Chucho sees. He always sees. He just doesn't know the right way to fix it. 

"Y'know, uh… your friend you used to play baseball with?" He asks, seemingly out of nowhere, as Javi puts away the groceries. He furrows his brows and gives his dad a confused look.

"I had lots of friends I played baseball with."

"He was datin' that girl you went to Homecoming with when you were a freshman?" Of all the things his dad remembers, of course, it's that. Javi resists the urge to roll his eyes and grinds his teeth instead.

"Suzanna?" He asks and Chucho snaps his fingers in a way that tells him that was the right answer. "His name was Dillion. What about him?" 

"Well, his dad heard you're back in town and invited us over for a barbecue," he says nonchalantly and Javi scoffs. "I'm not sure how he didn't know, but you know that old fucker's always out doin' something. Somebody probably told him something or the other. Anyway, you can say no. I told him you were still adjustin'."

"I'll go," Javi agrees too fast. "Might be good to… get outta the house. Wouldn't wanna be a stranger." Chucho is surprised but not displeased with Javi's answer, and they leave it as is. 

It's just reintegrating into civilian life. It's just socializing. It's just a barbecue. It's not an interrogation or a raid. It's coping. 

Apparently, coping could be really fun if he plays his cards right.

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia @space-zaddy-din-djarin @rainy-darling @its-me-mila @mnn11ankamaaka

[dorayakichan]

may I req dating + how you guys met hcs with minu, owen & vinny? If its possible could you also do noah and kaneshiro? take your time and thank you

Windbreaker: first meeting + confession + dating headcanon (Part 1)

Pairing: Owen, Vinny, Minu x gn!reader

Fluff

A/N: Hi! I think I got really carried away with this one, especially with the Owen one so I couldn't put everyone in here. I'll be making a part 2 for Kaneshiro, Noah and maybe someone else.

Owen

You happened to meet Owen during a race. It was not a friendly meeting at all though. 

During the race, Owen for the first had had difficulty beating someone else but in the end, he had won 1st place. He had heard a lot of things about you like how you had worked twice as hard as others to achieve the results you had right now. How you never rested and always trained even after a race. How your reputation and name had skyrocketed after that 1 year of break you had taken. 

There was a lot of commotion when people saw you enter the race that day and most comments were about how they were not expecting much from someone who had taken such a long break. 

Yet, you did it, you earned second place just some seconds behind the one and only Owen Knight. It was impressive, and Owen himself was fascinated by that.

So as you were sitting down to rest after having bought water you saw the blonde guy striding towards you with confident steps, the medal of the first place dangling on his neck as his sunglasses gave a vibe of arrogance to it all. 

 It was annoying to look at, for some reason. Well, as you didn’t have to deal with him that was fine. You lowered your head, closing your eyes for a second as you were totally exhausted.

“Hey, wanna race?” you heard a voice say from up above you. You raised your head just to be met with the confident grin on the blondie's face.

Annoying, you thought. “No, thank you.” You lowered your head again, closing your eyes one more time hoping this time you could actually get some rest.

“What are you scared you might lose?” 

Great now I have to deal with this one, you thought looking up once again. “Fuck off.” was your answer making people who were observing the interaction gasp. 

He raised an eyebrow taking off his glasses. His smile having already faltered, shifting into a serious one. “Why?” He asked not giving up.

You got up glaring at him. “I don’t want to, prick,” you said, pushing him away and leaving.

After all that interaction everybody had started talking about how bad your personality was and how it was obvious you were scared to race with Owen and bullshit like that. Yet, that didn’t faze you, you were just too tired. You had been training so hard the last few months without even taking a break, not to mention the fact that you had been arguing with your parents as they wanted you to give up on cycling. You would spend days outside coming home only late at night barely eating anything. 

It was a miracle how you were still holding on, and even ended up second while racing against some of the best racers in the world. So yeah, you were not in the best of moods or states. Now that you had finally finished all you wanted was to rest but you had to deal with the annoying blonde guy who had won first place. It’s not like you wouldn’t have liked taking him up on the challenge but his attitude and your current state made you react like that.

After that one race Owen didn't approach you anymore and his crew mates would always throw daggers at you when you encountered each other in the competition. On the other hand, Owen was furious, he felt like you had gone too far reacting to him asking such a simple thing to you.

He liked the way you raced and he had always held a lot of respect for you, still, you went on and treated him like that. 

After the race, he was standing at the back of an alley waiting for Harry to go and get his phone he had forgotten and left behind. 

That’s when he saw you walking not far from him. You didn’t notice him as you seemed too immersed in the conversation on the phone. “What do you mean you’re taking my money? Yes, you are my parents and legal guardians but that money is the one I earned.” She stopped just some steps away from Owen anywhere in his presence.

“Mom I get it you don’t like it, but I’m still going to do it. This is my dream….” silence “ Oh, so you are going to leave me penniless and starving on the street now? And even rob the money I won by working hard for myself?” silence again. “You know what, I’d rather live in the streets than be on the same rooftop as people like you. I’m done.” You said ending the call.

To say Owen was shocked was an understatement. The guy felt totally horrible after he saw you crouching down on the spot and starting to weep. He wanted to talk but his timing had passed because if he revealed he was there now, you could end up feeling worse. So he kept silent as he stared at your weeping and crouching form.  

“I’m back.” Harry’s voice came from the other side as both your and Owen's heads turned in his direction. That’s when you noticed Owen sitting there, eyes wide open as he looked at you with an expression of pity on his face. He had heard everything.

“Hey! Owen c’mon let’s go!” Harry said coming closer at that moment noticing your presence as your and Owen's eyes were glued to each-other. “Oh, isn’t this…” You couldn’t hear the rest as your eyes blacked out and you lost consciousness.

After that day Owen took you to the hospital, always coming and helping you with everything even asking you to become part of his crew. In the beginning, you felt ashamed you didn’t want him to pity you or anyone for that matter, and got angry at him. But after his continuous persistence you agreed and that’s how you became part of the Light Cavalry.

In the beginning, everyone was wary of you, but with time your kindness crept inside the heart of everyone in the crew, including Owens.

You were not only kind but also very courageous and straightforward. You always said what was on your mind, and when you thought it was alright went head-on into situations that other people would have to think twice about or never even think of going that far.

One of those was when you sprained your leg badly. Owen, although he had started having a soft spot for you, was very harsh when it came to you not respecting your own body and not taking care of yourself. So that day you were not supposed to be part of the team that would enter the competition. Owen was not there that day, so it was only you and the others.

As you were all waiting to start you saw one of the other members of the crew come. He looked pale as if all the color had been drained out of him. “Tommy, what’s wrong?” Harry asked in a worried voice. Tommy was unable to answer before he started vomiting. You all were not sure what it was but the next thing that happened was the ambulance coming and Tommy getting sent to the hospital.

“What do we do now? We have one less member, they won’t allow us to participate this way. I’ll call Owen.” Noah, who took out her phone ready to call, was stopped by you. “You know Owen has an important meeting with our sponsor today. If we were to lose them we’re done for we can’t possibly ask him to come here now. Plus he would still be late even if he rushed here.”

“What do you suggest then? The only available member here is you and…” she stopped as she saw you nodding. “You’re injured and Owen repeatedly told us to keep you away from anything that would hurt your leg until you fully recovered.” 

“There is no other option.” You were determined and all of them including Noah knew how stubborn you were. So they just accepted it, ready to get reprimanded by Owen later, but as you had said it was the only option.

Your team won the race, although at the last moments, you ended up barely feeling your leg anymore. You were unsure how you still carried on but you were able to touch the finish line first, with the others coming not far after you. Seconds later you fell on the pavement unable to get up as you couldn’t feel your leg anymore.

When Owen came to find you at the hospital having found out about everything he didn’t talk to you, he just saw you once and left furious out of there. In the days that came by you were not allowed to leave the hospital until you fully recovered, by Owens order. He had been so angry shouting at everyone for being careless and didn’t even come once to meet you. All of these things were told to you by the rest of the crew who would daily come and stay for some time with you.

After getting discharged the first thing you did was go to Owen. In the beginning, you were unable to find him as you searched everywhere, what you didn’t expect was to find him in the alley where you had fainted that day he found out the truth about you.

As he was sitting right at the same spot as that day you sat next to him. That’s when he finally talked pouring all his feelings and worrying, telling you every detail of how he felt that day when he heard you were sent to the hospital, how his heart would clench every time you did such reckless stuff, and how he had actually fallen for you. 

At first, it took you by surprise out of everything, Owen being in love with you that was the most unexpected thing you had ever heard. But you also knew inside you that you had also been secretly liking him for sometime and as much as you had tried to suppress those feelings, the moment that he poured his heart out at you, you decided to accept them.

That’s how you both started dating and let’s say caused quite the headache to the crew who from now on had to deal with Owen's over the top lovey-dovey attitude towards you.

Vinny

It was a rainy Friday night when you first met Vinny, not the best time to be out and about, but here you were inside the convenience store eating some snacks while waiting for the rain to stop. 

“If it’s going to continue like this we might even expect flooding really soon.” That lady that was working at the convenience store said as she looked at you buying a second batch of snacks to pass time.

“Let’s hope not,” you said paying and sitting down on one of the stools looking outside the window.

As you continued eating you heard the door open. Coming inside was a drenched red haired boy from head to toe. The lady working there gave him a towel as she felt sorry for him and told him to sit on one of the stools on the window.

The red haired boy came sitting one stool away from yours as he continued drying himself. You noticed how one of his eyes was red. Besides that, he looked absolutely handsome. And the way he dried his wet red hair was so hot. Not to mention the drenched white shirt he was wearing, showing all there was to his well-sculpted body.

Noticing your stare he turned his head glaring at you. “What do you want?” his tone angry, warning you to better stay quiet and not speak.

“You’re hot.” Words which came to the red haired guy as quite the shock. 

He did not reply, turning to look at the flooding street. While you continued snacking. Occasionally you would open your chips or biscuits and push it towards him. In the beginning, he would not as much as stare at it.

“What are you doing?” he asked after the 10th time of you doing the same exact thing again. “Jeez, what’s with the attitude I was just trying to be nice. It’s going to take some time for it to stop and you look bored so I thought a snack could help you pass some time,” you answered. “But anyway suit yourself, I guess.” 

After that, some time passed while your bag of chips was still in the middle Vinny, started taking some. And that’s how you spent a good 4 hours together until the rain stopped that night.

After that you occasionally so Vinny, some of the guys you were in class with. That’s also how you found out he was part of their cycling crew.

You also would occasionally meet him at that same convenience store and as always offer him snacks or sit with him if he seemed to be staying for a while. There was also quite a change in his attitude, beside the very frequent meetings you would have there which seemed more than just mere coincidence he would always take his spot next to you. He didn’t need you to invite him anymore, he would just sit there with two of your favorite snacks or drinks, one for you and one for himself. 

That’s how one day out of the blue you asked him if he liked you. “What? No.” Vinny said getting up and ready to leave the store. “But I do. Do you want to date me?” you decided to take that step as you could see with his personality he would never.

It took more than that for Vinny to finally accept dating you but when he did. Dating him was the sweetest thing that could have happened to you. He didn’t have much so he couldn’t buy stuff for you, but he would emotionally be always there no matter how bad the situation was he was always by your side in good and bad times. 

And that’s what you loved about the relationship with him, you knew he was present, and you knew he undoubtedly loved you and only you going as far as to present you to his crew too. 

Minu

Meeting Minu for the first time was during one of both your father's dinner meetings. You would usually meet Yumi accompanying her father, so it was quite strange to meet her brother Minu, who had been a mystery until then.

At the beginning of the dinner, your fathers started talking with each-other about business plans and the recent news of their new investments as the conversation continued you and Minu would just glance at one another and that was it. 

Then the conversation went to the topic of your school life and as always your father started boasting about your accomplishments and how you had been a genius in literally everything since a young child and how he was so proud of you. Then the other parent would start boasting about their kid too and so on a never ending story of whose kid was the best. It had become so normal to hear that, that you would always space out in the middle of their talk since the only thing you had to do was nod and smile. 

But when it came to Minu’s dad, you had to come back from the spacing out. He did not compliment Minu as how it was usually supposed to be. In fact, he talked about how he was quite lacking in many areas and that he was very obsessed with cycling. Not that you cared much about that but when you saw the guy's expression darken as his father was talking about how cycling had no value and such and that he needed to start getting more interested in business.

Something in you felt bad about that so you decided to interfere. “What? Cycling? You must be amazing at it then, I guess I can’t compare to that. I’ve never been that good at it, although I’ve always wanted to.” your words caught both of their attention. Making Minu's father stop in the middle of what he was saying. 

“You’re really interested?” Minu asked, a hue of disbelief flashing in his eyes. He had definitely caught on to your lie, as had your father who on the contrary was just waiting to see what you would pull out with this.

“Yep! It’s amazing it’s rare to find someone who is actually interested in cycling and is good at it.” you continued blabbering on as Minu chipped in some words here and there.

“Dad, I think we are interrupting you both. May I and Minu be excused to go out and talk more about this?” Your dad grinned, finally understanding your intentions as he looked at Minu’s father. “I guess the youngsters wouldn’t be that interested in our old men talk.” He said as Minu’s father agreed.

“I guess you achieved your goal, you don’t have to hide it anymore.” Minu’s voice stopping you from stepping outside the door and into the garden next to the restaurant. 

You flashed him a smile. “Do I have to thank you for this?” He asked. “Nah, I wanted to escape from that too. You just gave me a reason to breathe some fresh air.” You lied although you had to admit it was getting too stuffy in there so maybe it was not a complete lie.

After that, he asked you to exchange phone numbers, so if you ever found yourself in a predicament he would repay you that day. 

In the beginning, you didn’t text each-other. Then one day you asked him which model of bicycle to use as a beginner as you had actually become interested in cycling and that was when it all really started. He would help you decide, and give you recommendations or tips on what to do.

There were days he would even come by so he could help you practice and stuff. You are not sure if you started this whole thing due to Minu but with time you could see that it was mostly due to him. His face and words had lingered so much in your mind after that day and every day after leading you to how things were going right now.

Minu in the beginning was there just to help but with time he saw how his visits became more and more frequent and even if that day you didn’t feel like cycling or didn’t have time he would still stay with you, go out with you even eat out with you. So much so that he decided, it was the moment.

One day while you were practicing you fell and hurt your leg, a worried expression on Minu’s face as he helped disinfect it and patch it up. “Thank y…..” you were unable to finish the sentence as Minu hoisted you up in a bridal style refusing to let you walk until you reached your bed.

After that, he would come every day to take care of you and one day as you told him he didn’t have to do it all the time, he stopped in his tracks, sitting down on your bed next to you. 

"I have to tell you something." He paused for a brief moment to gather his ideas in order to communicate them as clearly as possible. "I think I like you." He swallowed hard after averting his gaze in order to avoid looking you in the eyes. "It's okay if you don't feel the same way..." but he was engulfed in a hug by none other than you as you admitted to liking him back.

And that’s how you ended up dating. In the beginning, he was always trying to act cool and show off his biking skills which would make you giggle. It was so cute looking at him trying his best to be a cool boyfriend. 

But with time you explained to him that you fell for the Minu who was himself that didn’t need to act cool because he already was. After that he didn’t try as hard, he never needed to anyway as you had already given your heart to him. 

He would buy you gifts and take you everytime he had a competition never stepping down from his role as your personal cycling trainer, which became more about him acting as if he wanted to correct you just to hold you or touch you, while you teasingly would lean on his touch loving the way how he was the only one who could make your heart beat this way.

[tiedyeflannels]

Dating Rumors pt. 2

Jungkook x reader

Word count: 1.9k

Dating Rumors: pt.1

Main Masterlist

A/N: Hi!!!! Thank you to everybody who liked the first part of Dating Rumors so much, that I had to make a second part! This one's for you! And thanks to @maple-leaves-in-the-wind for helping me make some decisions. Anyway... Enjoy!

“When are you two going to straighten things out,” Taehyung asked.

It had been about a month since Jungkook’s confession at my apartment and things were far from being “okay” between us.

We were awkward whenever we looked at each other and couldn’t have a proper conversation like we did before all of this happened and because of that, the members started to ask questions.

On the other hand, the news about Jungkook and the girl he was “supposedly” dating only lasted a week before it became old news because Jungkook let everyone know, on live, that he wasn’t dating anyone. 

I sighed, closing my laptop.

“I don’t know, Tae. How do you even start a conversation like that? ‘Hey Jk, I’m sorry I kinda blew you off when you confessed a few weeks ago. It’s just that I was thinking about you and your career instead of hearing you out on what you wanted because I care that much for you’?”

I shook my head as I sighed again. 

Honestly, I don’t think I was thinking right at that moment. My best friend just confessed that he was in love with me and I let my insecurities get the better of me. I don’t think anybody would think rationally at a moment like that. 

He looked me straight in the eyes.

“Yes.”

I huffed.

He leaned back in his chair, “Listen, Y/n, this is eating you both up inside and all of us are starting to worry. The faster you guys hash this out, the faster things go back to normal. And I’m not saying this because all of us are tired of seeing you two wallow in your feelings,” I rolled my eyes.

He continued.

“But because this,” he vaguely gestured in the air, “is affecting your work and his’.” 

I nodded, “Yeah… You’re right. I’ll head over to his place later today and figure it out.”

He smiled before Yoongi walked in the room and looked between us.

“What are you guys up to?”

“I was just talking to her about the situation between her and Jungkook,” Tae stated.

Yoongi turned his gaze to me, “Dude, you gotta figure that out.”

I huffed. “I know!”

KNOCK! KNOCK!

I was standing in front of Jungkook’s apartment. I texted him after my talk with Tae, asking if I could go over to his place to talk. He agreed and I told him that I would stop by whenever I finished with work.

So now, here I am… at 10:32… pm.

I threw my head back and sighed, rubbing my hand over my face.

Maybe, I should've waited until tomorrow…

I was about to turn around when I heard some thumping from behind the door before it quickly opened to show a disheveled Jungkook. I smiled when I saw his hair sticking out in every direction.

“Hey, Y/n/n!”

“Hey, Kook… Sorry if I woke you up. I can come back another time if-”

“No no no! It’s fine,” he hurriedly shook his head.

“I wasn’t sure when you were coming over and kinda put off cleaning until now. But I wasn’t sleeping!”

I just looked at him with a tiny smile as he rambled. He took a breath to calm down and stepped to the side.

“Would you like to come in?” I nodded and stepped inside.

The first thing you see when you enter is the kitchen and as I’m looking around, I see a bunch of food wrappers and empty ramen bowls lying around.

I stopped by the island and looked at Jungkook, who wore a panicked expression before he started to hurriedly pick up the mess.

“Sorry about the mess!”

I giggled while helping him, “Don’t worry. I’ve seen your place in worse condition.”

He chuckled as we threw away the trash before he started to wipe down the counter.

“So…” he started as I looked at him.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Right.” I leaned against the island and sighed. 

“I’m sorry,” I said before he whipped his head to look at me.

“Why are you apologizing?! You have nothing to be sorry for-”

“Before you start rambling, will you let me explain,” I asked, smiling.

He nodded as he zipped his lips.

“I wanted to apologize for the other night because I didn’t consider your feelings.”

I looked away from him and then continued, “I got scared when you confessed and got defensive which made me say things I didn’t mean and on top of all of that, I completely disregarded your feelings, so… I’m sorry.” 

By the end of my apology, I had my eyes on the floor as I nervously fiddled with my hands. Jungkook moved to stand in front of me and grabbed my hands.

“Listen,” he started as I raised my head to look at him, “I’m the one that should be apologizing considering that I was the one that confessed and put you in that position in the first place. I should’ve just waited until the next day to explain what was going on.”

I shook my head, “You were just trying to protect what you love.”

“And you were too,” he said, shaking my arms for emphasis.

I looked away as I thought for a moment. He was right, I was trying to protect myself, but at the same time I was trying to protect him.

He let out a breath, “So… Are we good?” 

I looked at him again and smiled when I saw his hopeful expression.

“Yeah,” I nodded, but he raised his eyebrows in question.

“For real this time,” I laughed.

He sighed in relief and a smile graced his lips before he pulled me into a hug.

“Good, because I’ve missed talking to you,” he said as he nuzzled his face in my neck.

I held him tighter, “Me too.”

~

“Ooh~ When did this happen,” Taehyung sang as he entered the room with the others.

I looked at Jungkook, who was sitting right next to me with a hand around the middle of my back while I showed him some designs for their new album.

“We patched things up a couple of days ago, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said, looking back at the laptop.

He shook his head.

“No, I’m talking about this,” he said as he mimicked Jungkook’s arm and then dramatically imitated me “cuddling up” next to him.

I rolled my eyes at the scene.

“So, are you guys together now,” Namjoon asked as he tugged Tae to sit down.

Jungkook shook his head, “No, we agreed that it wasn’t a good time to start dating now, so we’ll wait and see where it goes.” I nodded in agreement. 

Right after Jungkook was done saying that, Hobi walked into the room while looking at his phone with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Guys, have you seen this,” he asked as he walked over to us, holding out his phone so we could see.

“What,” I asked, taking the phone.

Nothing prepared me for what I was going to read.

“BTS member Jungkook spotted once more with rumored girlfriend,” I read out loud before scrolling a bit further to read more of the article.

“Jungkook was recently seen hugging a girl at his apartment complex. Fans think that he might have a secret relationship considering this is the second time this has happened."

“WHAT?!” Jungkook and I exclaimed in tandem.

I looked at Jungkook and saw the concerned expression that bordered fear. I’m sure I wore the same expression as he looked at me.

“Well… at least they don’t know your name,” Jin spoke up, trying to defuse the tension in the air.

I was about to look on the bright side when I scrolled a little further. 

“Unlike the previous time, the girl in the photos has now been identified as Big Hit’s lead graphic designer L/n Y/n. You’ve got to be kidding me,” I sighed as I flopped back into the couch and held out the phone so Hobi could take it back.

Once he took it back I ran my hands over my face in frustration as Jungkook flopped back with me. 

“What are you guys going to do,” Jimin asked in a soft tone.

I groaned before turning to look at Jungkook. We all sat in silence for a while, thinking about what to do before Jungkook quickly sat up and turned to me.

“I think I know what to do! Would you mind meeting me at my place later tonight?” I nodded.

~

“So, what’s your grand plan to get us out of this mess,” I asked as I walked through the door.

He was sitting on his couch and fiddling with his phone on the coffee table, trying to keep it standing upright.

He looked back at me and smiled, “We are going to go live.” 

Any expression on my face fell, the moment that sentence left his mouth.

I stared at him as he went back to fixing his phone, “You can’t be serious, right?”

“Well, it worked last time, so why can’t it work now?”

“Because the first time wasn’t true, but we have feelings for each whether we’ve defined our relationship or not, so I don’t think it would be right to lie to ARMY,” I said, walking over to the side of the couch.

“Who said we were going to lie,” he asked, looking over to me after pressing something on the phone.

I looked over at his phone to see the countdown reach zero before starting the live.

“Kook,” I panicked and moved away from the couch, off to the side so the camera couldn’t pick me up. 

He got up and walked over to me, “It’s okay. ARMYs are the sweetest, most understanding people I know. They’ll understand if we tell them the truth, okay?”

I looked at him for a moment before nodding, “Okay, I’m trusting you.”

He gently took my hand and led me back to the side of the couch.

“Wait here until I introduce you. They might start a riot if you just show up without any warning,” he whispered.

I quietly chuckled, “Sounds like you have some experience.”

“Maybe once or twice,” he said before taking his seat in front of the camera.

“Hey guys,” he said, waving to the camera.

I sat down on the arm of the couch, watching him talk with ARMY for a bit. I smiled when he started laughing at something that was said in the chat, but soon enough people started to ask about the dating rumors. 

“So, I know all of you are curious about Y/n, the girl in the pictures with me. Just like all of you, she’s someone very important to me. She’s been my best friend for a very long time and I would really like to keep her in my life,” he said and a smile crept its way on my face.

“So, let me introduce all of you to her,” he looked over to me and patted the seat next to him.

I took a breath before standing up and taking a seat beside him.

“Hi, ARMY,” I said as I shyly waved at the camera.

The chat started to move quickly since I came into frame and we were trying to read them until one caught Jungkook’s eye.

“Are you guys dating,” he read aloud, looking to me.

I turned to look at him and then back at the chat, reading the messages.

She’s so pretty!!

You guys look cute together!

If you weren’t already together, I would ship!!!

I smiled and looked back at him, nodding.

He smiled brightly as wrapped an arm around my torso tugging me closer.

I smiled back at him and while looking at me, he proudly declared, “Yeah. We’re dating.”

[warabidakihime]

★ characters: levi ackerman x reader | modern au

★ plot summary: levi helps you get through an episode

★ content warnings : implied su!cidal ideations, talks about mental illness (panic attacks, anxiety, and depression).

★ a/n: just a lil something i wrote out of sheer indulgence cause i am going through it ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა . so i guess you could say this is true to life and the only difference is, i don't have a levi by myself doing all these for me LOL. BUT YEAH, i hope you like this one and i hope it could help other people who might be going through the same thing.

sending everybody hugs!

-

Title: Until When Do I Need to Run?

"What if I'm too tired by the time I reach the 'pinnacle' of my life?"

Your voice sounded soft and vulnerable as you let those words slip through your lips.

Normally, you wouldn't let these kinds of thoughts escape the confines of your mind, but today, your heart was desperately screaming for any semblance of salvation.

Anything that could shed light on your ever-gloomy world.

From the dining table where your boyfriend sat, enjoying his freshly brewed jasmine tea after dinner, Levi raised an eyebrow in your direction. "What?"

You were at the sink, washing the dishes, as it was your turn this week. You chuckled humorlessly as you rinsed a plate rather mindlessly. "It's nothing. I was just thinking out loud."

"And thinking ridiculous things too," Levi said, his voice louder than usual. It didn't occur to you that he had moved until you were spun around, facing him. He was already behind you while you were racking your brains for a response.

"What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" His frown was deep, his gray eyes piercing. Despite being shorter, his presence loomed over you.

Reaching for the kitchen towel to dry your hands, you stayed mute for a few minutes in an attempt to gather your thoughts.

"Work has just been... rough lately, and the stress is getting to me. But today was especially hard," you started. You were speaking slowly, trying to articulate your words as best as you could.

It was something your therapist had taught you years ago. Because of the things you went through growing up and the trauma you'd accumulated, you'd unfortunately lost your ability to speak coherently at times, almost to the point of being considered a person with a disability.

Having such a handicap was frustrating and humiliating, to say the least. It angered you when you couldn't get the right words out or when your mind went blank mid-sentence, rendering you temporarily mute.

Thankfully, you had Levi. He'd been your boyfriend for eight years, and since you got together, life wasn't as draining as it once was. You couldn't be more grateful to him. The two of you had met while you were on a coffee run at work. He was behind you in line, and when your card was unfortunately declined and you didn't have cash on you, you almost had an anxiety attack.

In his own way of displaying kindness, Levi scoffed from behind you and handed the cashier his card to pay for both your orders.

"If you don't want to go through something like that again, make sure you have cash on you, dumbass."

And the rest was history.

You went quiet again, and while Levi waited patiently, he took your hand, gave it a loving squeeze, and led you to the living room so that you could sit and talk comfortably.

Once you were settled, you took a deep breath, which sounded shaky as it escaped your lips. Your emotions were clearly piling up inside, and it was just a matter of when they would burst.

"Steady your breathing first, Y/N," Levi said as he rubbed your back gently, doing his best to comfort you while you grounded yourself. "Take your time."

Smiling sheepishly at him, you did as told, and then finally, you continued to confide in him.

"Nothing major happened, but work has been really hectic recently due to the amount of things we need to do, and it doesn't help that my team is severely understaffed. So, I guess the fatigue and stress have been piling up, and it's getting to me."

Levi noticed the tension in your shoulders and the way your hands were trembling slightly. He reached out and gently massaged your temples, his touch soothing.

"Any word on that incompetent manager of yours? They're looking for a replacement, right?" Levi asked, his voice tinged with annoyance. He knew the lore of what was happening at your workplace, and to say that he was pissed was an understatement.

Not only were you neglected by your immediate supervisor, but you also had to catch up and do his workload while still getting paid less than him. The whole thing was a mess, and to be completely honest, Levi was on edge, worried for your well-being. It sucked that his worst fears were manifesting.

"They're doing the best they can, so I'm just waiting patiently on that."

Levi let out a 'tsk' and rolled his eyes, clearly more annoyed for you. The gesture caused you to giggle a little.

"And to sum it all up, the whole thing kind of shoved me into another episode, and I started to overthink things again." You said with a pout, then continued, "I started to think of negative things again, like the fact I literally have to work like a horse just so I can survive for another two weeks. From that, I started to get dizzy because it dawned on me that it would literally take me years to succeed. And then I thought, what if by the time I reach the most successful point of my life, I'm too tired to celebrate or to even continue living because that's what I've been striving to achieve for so long, and that's where I've been pouring all my energy—"

"Okay, stop. Stop right there," Levi interrupted, his voice firm. He let out a frustrated sigh and pulled you closer, taking your hands in his. "You're spiraling, Y/N. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. We're going to tackle this together, one step at a time. Right now, you need to breathe and relax."

His gray eyes held a stern yet caring expression. "Focus on the now, Y/N. We deal with problems as they come. I'm here. I'll be your anchor, but you have to let go of the rope a little."

You looked into his eyes, feeling the weight of his words. Levi had always been your rock—the one who grounded you when your mind spiraled. You knew he was right, and his presence always brought you back to reality.

As you sat there, hand in hand, you felt a sense of calm wash over you.

"Thank you, Levi," you whispered, leaning in to rest your head on his shoulder.

Levi noticed the shift in your demeanor. He squeezed your hand reassuringly, his other hand coming up to stroke your hair gently.

"You know, Y/N," he started softly, his voice a stark contrast to his earlier firmness. "You're incredibly strong. You've faced challenges I couldn't imagine, and you’ve come out stronger for it. But even the strongest people need to recharge."

He paused, giving you a moment to absorb his words. "It's okay to not be okay sometimes. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. What matters is how you deal with it. And right now, you're dealing with it by talking to me instead of keeping all that to yourself, and you've also been really consistent with it, which is a huge step. Good job."

Levi squeezed your hand gently again. "We'll figure this out together. Maybe we can start by setting some boundaries at work. Or maybe we can find some ways to de-stress outside of work. We can try new hobbies, or just spend more quality time together."

You felt a lump form in your throat as you listened to Levi's words. Just him being there for you brought so much warmth; it's as if he's hugging you from within.

At that moment, you realized how lucky you were to have him in your life.

You looked up at him, your eyes filled with a mixture of gratitude and vulnerability. His words, spoken with such gentle sincerity, had a profound effect on you. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You realized how much you had been bottling up and how much you had been neglecting your own well-being.

"Thank you," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "Thank you for always being here for me. I don't know what I would do without you."

Levi smiled softly, reaching up to brush away a stray tear that had escaped your eye. "You don't have to figure it out alone, Y/N. And never, ever hesitate to reach out to me. I am the last person that would push you away."

A comfortable silence settled between you as you both took a moment to appreciate the connection. The soft glow of the living room lamp casts a warm ambiance, creating an intimate atmosphere.

"I know I've been a bit of a downer lately," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. "I hate that I let this get to me. I hate that I'm becoming this person who's always stressed and overwhelmed."

Levi squeezed your hand tighter.

"You're not this person, Y/N. You're going through a tough time, and that's okay."

You nodded, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. It was comforting to know that you had someone who understood and supported you unconditionally.

The conversation continued, flowing naturally as you shared your fears and worries with Levi. He listened patiently, offering words of encouragement and practical advice. You felt a sense of peace as you opened up to him, something you hadn't done in a long time.

Hours seemed to fly by as you talked. The initial darkness outside had given way to the soft hues of dawn. Levi's grip on your hand never loosened, his presence a constant source of comfort.

Eventually, the weight of exhaustion began to creep in. You yawned, your eyes heavy with sleep. Levi noticed and smiled gently.

"It's late, Y/N," he said softly. "Let's head to bed."

You nodded, your head leaning against his shoulder. "Mkay. Thank you, Levi."

Levi kissed the top of your head. "You're welcome. We'll talk more about this tomorrow if you want, alright?" 

You nodded, a sheepish smile on your face. "Okay."

He stood up and stretched, a yawn escaping his lips. "I'll get us some water."

You watched as Levi moved toward the kitchen, feeling exponentially better, all thanks to him. When he returned with two glasses of water, he handed you one and sat back down beside you.

"Drink up," he said, his voice soft but firm.

You took a sip, feeling the cool liquid soothe your throat. After finishing the water, you placed the glass on the coffee table and turned to Levi.

"Thank you, Levi, for everything," you said, your voice full of sincerity.

He gave you a small smile, his eyes reflecting his affection for you. "Always, Y/N."

Setting his glass aside, Levi suddenly cupped your face with his hands, his touch gentle yet commanding. He leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was more passionate and eager than usual. His kiss conveyed all the love, support, and reassurance he wanted to give you, grounding you in the moment.

You responded in kind, your arms wrapping around his neck as you melted into the kiss. The intensity of the moment made your worries fade away, replaced by the warmth and love radiating from Levi. He pulled you closer, deepening the kiss, his hands moving to your waist, holding you securely.

When you finally pulled away for air, you rested your forehead against his, your breaths mingling. Levi's eyes were soft but intense, filled with a promise of unwavering support.

"You're not alone, Y/N," he whispered, his voice husky with emotion. "I love you, and I'll always be here for you."

Tears of gratitude filled your eyes as you looked at him. "I love you too, Levi."

With that, he took your hand and led you to the bedroom. You both settled into bed, the weight of the day's worries feeling lighter. As you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you felt a sense of peace and security that only Levi could provide.

"Goodnight, Y/N," Levi murmured, his breath warm against your ear.

"Goodnight, Levi," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

The room fell into a serene silence, only your steady breathing filling the space. Levi’s arms around you felt like a shield against the world’s troubles, and the steady beat of his heart was a comforting rhythm that lulled you into relaxation.

As sleep began to pull you under, you felt a tender kiss pressed to your forehead while Levi’s fingers lightly traced soothing patterns on your back—his way of reminding you that he was always there, ready to lift the burdens you carried.

[softdoctorreid]

shaping up | reid x reader

summary: overhearing someone describe him as having a ‘dad bod’ has spencer feeling self-conscious. you decide to surprise him with some news about just how fitting the term is.

• fem!reader

+++     +++     +++

It had been a long case. While it wasn’t too far from home and everybody lived this time, Spencer was exhausted and tired of motel life. All he wanted was to get back to you and return to the domestic bliss of your life together. It was almost harder when the Bureau sent them somewhere that was just far away enough to warrant not traveling back each night - knowing that you were just within driving distance but he couldn’t see you. So when the case closed and the only thing standing between him and an overdue reunion with his wife was wrapping up at the local police station, he was happy to take on any task to get on the road as soon as possible.

While he raced through the station turning in paperwork and signing off on documents, he overheard JJ trying to placate some of the reporters gathered in the lobby. Though she was a profiler now, she still knew the magic words for getting the media to disappear. There were two younger reporters, giggling and glancing back at the table where the team was dismantling the bulletin board.

“Sorry, I just can’t keep all the names straight. Who was the agent at the arrest again? The one with the dad bod?” one of them asked.

“Do you mean Simmons?” JJ asked, turning to point.

The reporter shook her head. “No, he’s totally jacked - I mean the one with the sweater and curly hair?”

“Ohh. I see, that would be Dr. Reid.” This time JJ pointed at him, and the reporters murmured in agreement. He puzzled over it the whole ride back to Quantico. How could they mean him? Simmons was the only member of the team who was a father. But the reporters had seemed so certain. It didn’t make any sense. Determined to solve the mystery, he made a point to walk out with JJ.

“I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop,” he explained. “But I overheard you talking with the reporters earlier. Can I ask you – what did they mean when they said I had a… dad bod?”

Jennifer smiled sympathetically at him, the look she often had when he asked something he knew must be obvious to everyone else. “Just a way people are describing a certain body type. It’s based on the way guys with kids tend to stop working out and get a little soft. But don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing,” she added, patting his arm. “According to the internet, dad bods are all the rage right now.”

To Spencer, it sure felt like a bad thing. After all, he wasn’t a dad. What excuse did he have to fall out of shape? Not that he’d ever particularly been in shape, the only physical activity he didn’t completely abhor was the kind that involved you, a private place, and ample foreplay. And he knew he’d gotten a little softer in recent months, but it felt weird to have it pointed out, especially by two strangers.

Simmons was a father, but he looked like he could do one-handed push-ups with every one of his kids on his back. Morgan didn’t lose his trademark abs after Hank’s birth. And then there was him, childless and yet the first one to be pointed out as “soft” without having any reason to be. The thought followed him like a cloud, and by the time he got home his mood was completely dampened.

You noticed the second he walked in the door. “I thought you told me everyone lived this time,” you said.

He tilted his head, confused. “Yeah. They did.”

“Then what’s got you looking so grumpy?” you asked, tracing the tip of your finger over the distinct frown he wore.

He started to dissent but you cut him off with a pointed look that told him it was a lost cause to lie. Clearly years of being around profilers was rubbing off on you. “It was just something this reporter said.”

You pulled him down to sit on the couch. “About the case?”

“No, about… about me. About how I have a dad bod.” He hated how silly it sounded to say out loud.

A soft laugh escaped your lips before you caught yourself, trying to fight a smile. “And here I thought you didn’t know pop culture.”

Embarrassed, he busied himself with taking off his tie. “I don’t. I mean, I didn’t know that. But JJ explained it to me. It just made me feel weird, being described that way. I know I’m not exactly in shape, but I guess I didn’t expect other people to notice.” Spencer hadn’t counted on anyone else paying attention to the fit of his trousers or the way his sweaters clung to his body now that he’d filled out. Or at least he’d hoped his self-consciousness was unfounded, that his awareness of the ways his body had changed since Millburn didn’t extend to those around him. But if that wasn’t the case, maybe he needed to cut back on morning donut runs, or eliminate the sugar from his coffee. Anything to avoid being labeled the way he had been.

You set a hand on his thigh, unfazed by his self-deprication. “Well, from what I hear, a dad bod is pretty hot,” you purred.

Spencer pulled away from your touch, crossing his arms over his middle. “Is it?” he asked, not intending the edge that crept into his voice. “Because to me, it just sounds like a nicer way to say I’ve let myself go! I mean, what does that say about me when I don’t even have the excuse of being busy taking care of a kid or being a dad?”

He expected you to have some carefully crafted response at the ready, or at least some sweet nothings of validation, but you just shook your head, smiling. “Oh, babe. You’re that upset about this?”

Clearly he was. How had you gone from reading his expression so easily to acting surprised by what he told you? Annoyed by your lack of understanding, he just huffed a sigh. To his surprise, you stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. “Wait, where are you going?” he asked.

“To try and turn that frown upside down.” You returned with a brown paper bag in hand, setting it on the coffee table before sitting down next to him. “I know you’re not feeling great about it right now, but that dad bod of yours is going to be pretty useful.”

This vague hedging wasn’t your usual reaction to his discomfort, and he didn’t understand why you were so upbeat about this. “How, exactly?”

Your eyes softened, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards as you fought back a grin. “Spence,” you said, as though it was so obvious. “How do you think? When you’re a dad.” He bit his lip, puzzling over your words. They just didn’t make sense - he wasn’t a dad, that was the point. But you just raised your eyebrows, nodding slowly, waiting for it to sink in. “Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

What you were trying to… wait. Spencer froze, not even daring to blink. “You don’t mean–?”

“Yeah,” you said, the grin shining through in full. “Yeah, I do. Look in the bag.”

His gaze fell on the paper bag beside you, and he couldn’t even breathe for a moment, hands shaking as he grabbed it. It was like the whole world went quiet as he reached inside and withdrew a copy of Goodnight Moon. The book opened easily, and there tucked amidst the pages was a pregnancy test. With two lines. Pregnant.

When he looked back at you, he couldn’t even manage to form words. “I was going to surprise you with it tomorrow,” you told him. “But I felt like you needed something good right about now. So, see? You were just shaping up for your new role. You’ve always been ahead of the curve,” you laughed.

When he tried to laugh with you, it came out as a half-sob, tears springing to his eyes. “I’m going to be a dad?” he asked.

“You are.” Now you were starting to cry, too. “You’re gonna be the best dad.”

“Oh my god,” he said, pulling you into his arms in the tightest of hugs as the happiness overtook him completely. “We’re going to have a baby! Thank you. Thank you.” Becoming a father had long been a dream of his, one he so badly wanted to realize with you. And now that dream was finally coming true, the love of his life carrying his child, turning the Reid household into a family of three.

“Do you feel better now?” you asked him, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

He just nodded, answering in the form of a kiss. “Much, much better,” he said, when he finally pulled away. “Nothing else matters. I’m so happy, Y/N. This is the best news ever. I love you, I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you giggled. “You’re gonna be putting that body to good use, you know. I’ll want to cuddle with you all the time. And they say skin-to-skin contact is important for newborns.”

“It is. Kangaroo care, as some specialists call it, is shown to help infants regulate their heartbeat, breathing and body temperature, as well as facilitating parent-child bonding and reducing crying.”

“See? You’re already an expert.” You inched closer to him on the couch, resting one hand on his waist, your thumb stroking over his tummy. “And I meant it when I said dad bods are hot. I mean, right now, Spence? I look at you and all I see is a DILF. You know what that one means, right?”

Spencer’s breath caught. “Yes,” he said carefully. “Yes, I do.”

“And?”

“And,” he said, caressing your cheek, his eyes roaming over your body. “I could never say no to that.”

+++

tell me what you think here!

[bella-rose29]

Deck the Halls (and not your partner) - part 12

it's here everybody

I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everybody that has read and enjoyed along with me, whether that was in the form of reblogging with commentary, leaving a comment or kudos, or even if you just read it and moved on, and to everyone who binge read after the whole thing came out, or stumbled across it months after it finished, thank you to you too. this has most definitely been a labour of love, very self-indulgent at most points, and I have thoroughly enjoyed writing every word (although maybe not so much when Steph was being a grade-A Bitch), and I hope you enjoy this last part!

while the main work of this series is over, keep an eye out for holiday specials (bc I can't just let go of my schmoopies forever)!

Warnings: swearing, mildly spicy bit near the start, you might cry from this being the finale (I did lol), flustered/awkward lockwood, oh you also might cry from the part in the middle/end because I'm evil and can't let you have a fully happy ending (@ the anon who requested this hopefully this satisfied the masochistic urge hehehe), if I forgot anything it's bc I'm tired while I write this

Word count: 6.3k

series masterlist

“Are you sure you’ve got everything? It’s a long way to go if you leave something behind,” Ben said, peering in on Anthony and Y/n where they sat in their loveseat. 

They had packed pretty much everything but their wash bags (which they would need tomorrow morning) and pyjamas (which they would wear tonight), and now they were cuddled up in front of the fire that was roaring in the hearth. “Yeah, I think so. I’ve checked and double checked so if we leave anything behind then we’ll just have to make do.” Her father nodded, smiling at them before ducking back out the room. Everybody else was gathered in the kitchen, making drinks and getting dinner (leftovers and an assortment of deli), which meant that Y/n and Anthony had the living room to themselves. “You alright?” she asked, voice quiet. He hummed in answer, the low sound vibrating in his chest and through her head where it laid on his shoulder. 

“I’m more than alright, darling. Looking forward to being home again, though. Not that I haven’t enjoyed the last few days,” he hurried to add. “I just miss sleeping in my own bed.”

“I get that.” There was a momentary lull in the conversation, both of them basking in the warmth of the fire and each other. “Wait. I feel like we should probably… talk about when we get back? And what… what we’re going to do about…” she trailed off, waving her free hand between them. 

“No, you’re right. We should… we should definitely talk about that.” Another lull, although this one was slightly more tense. “I mean-” Anthony cut himself off with a huff, and she felt him clench his jaw from where she was nestled underneath it. “If you wanted, you could move out of the attic? Obviously if you’d rather stay rooming with Lucy then that’s fine too, I just-”

“Where would I go if I wasn’t in the attic?” She cut him off when he started to ramble, lifting up her head to frown at him. He flushed a delightful pink that wasn’t too dissimilar from the socks he had on, and opened and closed his mouth a few times before turning even more red and answering. 

“In… in my room? It’s a big bed, although not quite as large as the one here, and I’ve got extra pillows if you wanted. But if you would rather stay upstairs then that’s fine too.” He was fidgeting, his leg bouncing and his tongue darting out to wet his lips, and Y/n smiled softly. 

“If you’re sure you don’t mind?”

“Of course I don’t mind, darling.” The blush stayed on his cheeks but his worry eased. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want you there.”

“Then… when we get back tomorrow, can I just go straight to bed with you?”

“Absolutely,” he grinned, and she couldn’t help but mirror his smile, pressing a small kiss to his lips. 

“Ew, go suck faces somewhere else.” Y/n rolled her eyes at Will’s teasing tone, flipping her middle finger up at him and putting it away swiftly when Tom walked in, already snacking on the food on his plate. She hadn’t heard Will come in, which was quite the feat given how loudly he was chewing, but he was smiling behind his comments as he settled into an armchair. He was ecstatic that he could openly tease his younger sister now (much to her chagrin) and had wasted no time in doing so. “Bet you two are glad you’re going home?”

“Yeah. It’ll be nice to be back in London, I think,” she replied, shifting around in Anthony’s lap to face the room a little more. “And I miss the others. I did call George the other day after we booked our train tickets, just to let him know what was happening and when we’d be back, but the reception is so bad up here that contacting any of the others has been tricky.” Lucy had been somewhere near them visiting Norrie, but her signal had been awful too. Y/n hadn’t seen the point in calling when mostly it was just static. 

“I didn’t realise you’d called George,” Anthony said. 

“Oh, yeah. I knew he’d be at Portland Row so I figured I should let him know why we weren’t there. He said he wasn’t gonna spend the entire holiday with his family because of the whole ‘your siblings are engineers, so why aren’t you’ thing that always happens.” George had been the first friend that Y/n had opened up to, despite sharing a room with Lucy. They had been researching for a case together in the Archives late into the night, early on after Y/n had first joined the agency, and something about the calm atmosphere and rustle of the papers had meant that when George asked about her backstory in a tea break she had spilled it all. Lucy had been next, also late at night while the boys were on their own case, and Holly not too long after. But George had been the first, and the two of them had been close ever since. He’d opened up to her about his own family, and they’d found they had more in common than they had originally thought. 

“Well, it’s a good job you called. I imagine he would have been quite worried about us.”

“Us? No, George was definitely only worried about me. He didn’t once ask about you.”

“Rude.”

“I’m just telling the truth, it’s not my fault your ego can’t handle it,” Y/n teased. Anthony scoffed, fighting the smile that was breaking through. 

“Sure, Schmoopie.” Her responding glare would have been enough to make even Barnes shrink back, but Anthony could see that it lacked any heat when directed at him. 

He did yelp when she jabbed him in the side though, and her grin turned devilish. 

~~~

The next morning, Anthony was awake before Y/n was. 

At some point in the night she had obviously grown cold, as the duvet was bunched up more on her side than it was his, leaving most of his body out in the not-so-warm air of the bedroom. He didn’t mind, though. Not if it meant that she was happy. 

He didn’t often get the chance to admire her in the morning, not without her knowing he was doing it (not in a creepy way, it just meant that he often got caught and she often made fun of him), so he took his time now. 

He didn’t think he would ever get over how gorgeous she was. 

There was barely any light in the room, but from what little he could see she looked like an angel, especially in the t-shirt of his that she kept stealing. He didn’t mind that either, mostly because somehow she made it look so much better than he ever could. Anthony wasn’t a fool (although given his behaviour over the past few years there was definitely a strong argument against him), and he was well aware that Y/n knew the effect her wearing his clothes had on him. He’d had to excuse the two of them the other day when she’d come downstairs for breakfast wearing his grey hoodie and her pyjama shorts, and when they reemerged from their room nobody commented on the flushed faces or the messy hair of either of them (Y/n had stayed in the hoodie, too). She’d teased him mercilessly since finding out, and now he finally had an opportunity to gaze lovingly at her without her poking fun at him. 

“Morning.” Damn, he must have cursed himself and made her wake up. 

“Good morning, darling.” He smiled at her, wedging his arm under his head while he watched her wipe the sleep from her eyes and turn to face him. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Yeah. Like a log. You been awake long?” She reached out for his hand where it rested on the pillow between them, and he gladly let her thread her fingers through his. 

“Not really. Any good dreams?” There was a pause where she flushed, and Anthony’s curiosity only grew when she shook her head. 

“Not… not that I can think of.” She was avoiding his eyes, which meant she was lying. He smiled, huffing a laugh before shifting his weight. 

“Are you sure, darling?”

“Prick.” He laughed properly at that and propped himself up on an elbow. Y/n had covered her face with her hands to hide the rapidly growing flush, and she was shrinking further into the mattress with every passing second. “It wasn’t even- we were just, like… in a field.”

“What?”

“We were just having a picnic in a field. It was sweet.” She still hadn’t moved her hands so Anthony had to strain a little to hear what she was saying, but the amusement was very present in his voice when he next spoke. 

“So why are you acting like we were doing something else?” There was another pause, and he raised his eyebrows. “Were we doing something else?”

“It might… have ended up that way…”

“I see,” he said, moving again to prevent the arm under his head from falling asleep. Instead of lying back down, however, he pushed himself further up, placing one hand beside Y/n’s head and the other at her waist, slotting a leg between her thighs. He felt her shiver in response, and he gently pried her hands away from her face, lacing his fingers through hers and holding their joined hands in position on the other side of her head. 

“Anthony,” she whispered, lifting her hips a little and brushing her nose against his. 

“Yes?” He could feel her breath on his mouth, could feel it hitch when he let go of her hand to trail his own down her arm slowly, then tracing a path down the side of her body to her thigh. She didn’t answer him, instead reaching up to grab the back of his neck, tangling her fingers in the hair there (god, he loved it when she did that) and kissing him in a way that reminded him of honey. It was long and slow, both taking their time to bask in each other, although if she kept tugging lightly at his hair in the way that she was then he might have to speed the pace up a little. It was ridiculous, the power she held over him, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. If she was an angel, then he would gladly fall into hell a million times over for this little piece of paradise he was experiencing right now. 

He wasn’t sure how long they were there for, kissing, laughing softly when the t-shirt got stuck around her head, tangling limbs but never taking it further than a few bold touches just in case someone walked in with the morning tea, but it felt like barely a few seconds and eternity at the same time. 

When Ben did eventually knock on the door, Anthony went to answer, collecting the teas with a smile and a thank you before kicking the door closed. He smiled down at Y/n where she lay in bed, eyes closed to the light of the lamp that had just been flicked on, and planted a lingering kiss on her forehead. The action had her smiling immediately, and Anthony felt his heart jump in his chest. 

They spent most of the next hour lazing in bed, trading more kisses and soft touches before their stomachs started complaining and they were forced to get up and have breakfast. 

A million times, Anthony mused as he watched Y/n get stuck in her (his) jumper. A million times and more, and he had definitely fallen for her already. 

~~~

“Alright, you’re absolutely sure you have everything?”

“Yes, Mum, just like I was the previous six times you asked.”

“I just want to be sure! Who knows when we’ll next see you!” The statement hung in the air for a few seconds, the words sinking in and nestling into everybody’s minds. 

“Soon,” Y/n said, her tone decisive. “As long as Steph and Linda aren’t there.”

“I think I can live with that,” her mother grinned. Anthony and her father had been pulling their bags out of the car and were just now rejoining the gathered family members. Her parents were here, as was Will, but everybody else had stayed behind. They had said their goodbyes back at the house, with promises of phone calls for Nana Jean and Gramps and games of whatever Tom liked the most when she next saw him. Olivia had pretended to be indifferent about her sister leaving, but had squeezed just that little bit tighter when Y/n had said that she really needed to go. Y/n had pretended not to notice the slight shine to Olivia’s eyes, opting to ruffle her hair and laugh instead. Sam and John had wrapped her in hugs so tight she thought she might pass out before even stepping foot outside the house, and had left one last remark of ‘if you hurt her, we’ll kill you’ with Anthony before waving them off cheerfully as though they hadn’t just threatened murder. 

“Right then, Squeak. How long ’till your train?” Will asked, placing an arm over her shoulders and drawing her into his side. 

“About thirty minutes?”

“Why do you always get here so early? You could have had another cup of tea!”

“Uh, no, we couldn’t. Have you got any idea how much can go wrong with trains?!” Will just laughed at her, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“You’re ridiculous, Squeak.”

“You love me anyway though.”

Their parents stepped over then, having finished talking to Anthony about… whatever they had been talking about (she had been too busy with her conversation with Will to hear), and wrapped her in a teary hug. “You promise you’ll come back sometime next year?” her mother choked out, pulling back and holding her daughter by the shoulders. 

“Promise, Mum.” Her father hugged her then, letting Will comfort Emma. 

“I love you, Y/n. You’ll call us too, won’t you?”

“Of course,” she replied, huffing a laugh. “I already said I would about a hundred times.”

“We’re just making sure! Right. Off you two go, then, or you’ll miss your train.”

“Ben, they’ve got half an hour.”

“I know that, Emma, but what if something goes wrong?”

“Dad, please don’t jinx it. I’ll let you know when we’re back, alright?” She moved away, grabbing the handle of her suitcase and frowning when she felt Anthony’s hand already there. “I can take my own luggage, Ant.”

He shrugged. “I know. But I’ve got two hands and you have the tickets.”

“Your logic doesn’t make much sense; I also have two hands. And anyway, you could have your bag and your ticket, and I could have mine!”

“Just- just let me take your luggage, darling.” How could she say no when he was looking at her like that? She relented her grasp on the handle, casting him a mock glare before turning to look at her family one last time. 

“Have a safe journey, you two,” her mother said with a smile. 

“Yeah, get back home safe,” Y/n responded, starting to move towards the station entrance. She could hear Anthony behind her, the suitcase wheels dragging on the concrete while his repurposed kit bag bounced against his side. 

“You alright?” he asked once they were on the train, bags safely stowed. 

“Yeah. Looking forward to being home again.” It was funny, really. The last time she had been on a train she would have scowled at herself for calling Anthony Lockwood’s house her home, but now here she was, doing it without a second thought. 

“What are we going to tell the others?”

“Well… it’ll be late when we get back, right? I mean it’s already three o’clock now and it’s getting darker, so maybe by the time we get in they’ll be in bed? Or on a case if they managed to get a client. We could just do what you said and see how long it takes them?”

“I think you coming out of my bedroom in the morning would be a pretty big hint, darling. But I do love a game,” he grinned, already thinking about their friends’ reactions. “How do we think they’re going to respond?”

“Not a clue. George will probably say ‘I told you so’ or something.”

“Was… was that meant to be an impression of George?”

“Yeah?”

“Darling, no offence, but I think you might be worse than me.”

“Arsehole.”

~~~

It was dark when they got back, although that wasn’t a surprise given it was the middle of winter. 

Anthony had unloaded the bags from the taxi, smiling and thanking the driver with both words and payment, and had turned around to see Y/n stood on the pavement. She looked exhausted, rubbing her eyes and yawning while she waited for him to finish up. The gate stood locked, and 35 Portland Row seemed empty, the windows as dark and grey as the sky. 

Weird, he thought. Maybe they’re out on a case.

He shouldered his bag and pulled up the handle on Y/n’s suitcase just as the last of the noise from the taxi leaving died off and the road went quiet. Then he heard a scream that was so piercing he dropped the luggage and clapped his hands over his ears, squeezing his eyes shut as though it would save his hearing. A ghost? Only Visitors could make a sound that fear-inducing, and if the chill that crept along his spine was anything to go by he would need some sort of weapon. Maybe their best bet was to get inside the house, so he reached for his keys and tried to block out the screaming. 

His keys. 

Shit, where were his keys? He looked up to see if Y/n was alright, if she had maybe had the wise idea to remove herself from possible danger before he did, and his heart stopped in his chest. 

The gate was still closed, and 35 Portland Row still empty and cold. Somehow it felt a whole lot darker than it had just a few moments ago, and Anthony belatedly realised that it might have something to do with the rapidly spreading blue tinge on Y/n’s arm. He couldn’t see any Visitors nearby, or any death glows that might have been stepped on by either one of them to provoke an attack, but all of that had happened so fast that he didn’t have time to process any of it. “Darling? Darling look at me.” He couldn’t hide the tremor in his voice when he spoke, memories of another time a girl he had loved died in much the same way, and he refused to let that happen again. “Let’s get you inside, yeah? There’s some adrenaline shots in the hallway, I just need you to stand up for me, darling. Y/n, please. Please, just stand up.” Why was she so heavy? Why was he so heavy? Was this what dying felt like?

“Anthony?” 

Why did her voice sound so far away? No. He couldn’t let this happen. He tried to lift her again, but somehow she was even heavier than before. Maybe he was tired, or too weak. 

“Anthony, what’s going on?” Her face was blurring and he realised that it was because he was crying, but his hands were too weighted to lift and wipe the tears away. 

“I don’t know,” he muttered, his voice cracking. “I don’t know, darling. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You’ll be okay.”

“Anthony!” 

That had been louder, as though she were talking right into his ear, and he gasped for air and sat bolt upright. 

“Anthony, are you okay? You looked-”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, eyes blinking back the harsh light that threatened to turn him blind. 

“What are you sorry for?”

“I can’t… I can’t help you,” his breath was coming faster now, and vaguely he noted that there was someone nearby offering him water. His gaze was solely fixed on Y/n, though, and-

Wait. Hadn’t she been on the floor? Now she was on his left where before she had been on his right and in his arms, and her arms were the colour they always were, no blue tinge in sight. “Anthony, what were you dreaming about?”

He stared at her, partly in realisation that none of it had been real, but mostly in disbelief that she wasn’t dying in his arms in front of their home. “What?” The train carriage came back into focus, checkered seats and wooden table forming solid shapes in his line of vision. The view out the windows was barely visible from how dark it was. 

“You were asleep, and then you started… I don’t know. Twitching, I guess? And you were talking but I couldn’t make it out but you sounded really sad, and-” He cut her off by launching himself at her, wrapping his arms around her torso and burying his face in her neck and holding his breath. “Ant?” She paused, slowly bringing her own arms around him and shifting position so that she was more comfortable. “Are… are you breathing right now? I’m gonna need you to breathe for me, Ant, can you do that?”

He did, and immediately choked on a sob. It hadn’t been real, and she was alive. They sat there for a long time while he cried, and then even longer after his tears had subsided and he was just sniffling into her neck. He didn’t know whereabouts they had been when he first woke up, but Y/n finally moved him off of her the station before theirs. “Sorry, just need to shake my arm out. You’re heavier than you look, you know.” They both sat up, and Anthony went to take a tissue out of his coat pocket. “Here,” Y/n whispered, reaching up to wipe his face with her sleeve. Her hands were gentle, barely-there touches on his cheek, but Anthony needed more. He pushed her hand to his face, focusing on the pressure and the warmth of her skin, and the callouses that had built up from being an agent all these years. A few seconds later he felt her forehead against his, and her breath on his mouth (her breath was warm too), and her other hand slipping into his hair, holding him as close as possible. “You’re okay. It’s okay. We’ll be back soon, alright? I think it’s only about ten minutes until we get to our station and then we can call a taxi and go home.”

“Okay.” Whoever it was that had been offering water earlier had left the bottle on the table, and he reached for it now, twisting the cap and downing the liquid. “We’ll be careful once we get out though, right? Because it’s dark and there could be Visitors, and we don’t have our rapiers, and-”

“Anthony, we will be absolutely fine.” Her tone was firm and she pulled his chin up to stare directly in his eyes. “The taxi will drop us off right outside, and if you like I’ll take the keys and get the kettle on. Or you can do that and I’ll get the bags, or we can get our own bags and go up together. Whichever you feel most comfortable with, yeah?” When he nodded she sighed, letting go of his chin and holding his hand instead. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But if you do, I’m here, alright?”

“I know. Thank you.”

He didn’t let go of her hand until they were safely back in 35 Portland Row, front door shut and locked and bags in his room ready to be unpacked in the morning. 

~~~

Lucy Carlyle had had the best sleep of her life. 

She’d come back from seeing Norrie the day before, the freak snowstorm keeping her from getting back sooner, and the journey had been so horrific she’d passed out the moment she got into bed. Screaming children and drunk men had populated the carriage, creating so much noise that she hadn’t been able to go to sleep on the train, and she was starting to look like Lockwood with the bags under her eyes. 

Now it was nearly midday, and she had managed to crawl out of bed, sling on some clothes, and stumble down the stairs to put the kettle on for some tea. 

Given how late Lockwood and Y/n must have got back last night (it had been after her, and the clock in the hall had shown a time that was both far too late and far too early for her liking), she had been expecting them, as well as George, to be in bed. But then again Y/n hadn’t been in the attic with her when she’d woken up just now (although her vision had been rather blurry, so she totally could have missed a whole human being in the room), so maybe she was already downstairs?

What she hadn’t expected was walking in to the kitchen to see both Y/n and Lockwood having a normal conversation (well, as normal as conversations in this house could go, she was quite sure they were discussing frogs), in which neither of them was glaring or looking like they would commit a felony at any given moment. Lockwood was leaning back against the kitchen sink (looking very snug in his grey hoodie and comfy trousers), mug of tea in one hand while the other braced his weight on the counter, and he was chatting happily to Y/n (who was wearing what looked suspiciously like one of Lockwood’s jumpers). She was sat at the kitchen table, cupping her tea with both hands, and the smile on her face, Lucy realised with a start, was genuine. 

“… Morning?” She started, pushing the kitchen door open and moving further into the room, eyeing her friends. 

“Morning, Luce,” Lockwood replied, taking a large gulp of his tea. He didn’t seem fazed by the incredibly strange situation that was happening right now (was this some sort of a fever dream? Maybe she was hallucinating from sleep deprivation or something), and Lucy nearly poured the still-hot water on her hand instead of in the mug. “Sleep alright?”

“Uh… yeah. What time did you two get back last night?”

“Oh, I don’t even know,” Y/n started. “Definitely past two in the morning, but we were so tired we didn’t really look at the time.”

“Right.” There was a pause while Lucy finished making her tea, and as she took an experimental first sip she regarded them over the top of her drink. “So… Y/n. Did you just collapse on the sofa downstairs or something? I didn’t hear you come in last night.” The other girl froze for a moment, and if Lucy wasn’t a trained operative then she probably wouldn’t have noticed it since her panic was almost instantly replaced by forced calm. 

“Oh, uh…” she glanced at Lockwood, who made some sort of face in reply. “… no?”

“Huh, you must have been quiet, then. That or I was sleeping like a rock.”

“Sure,” Y/n said, a weird look on her face. She was smiling, but almost like she knew something that Lucy didn’t, and that puzzled her. A chuckle sounded from the corner of the room, and under a blue and white striped tea towel, Skull had woken up. 

“You’re really going to take that for an answer? She didn’t even pick one!” Lucy frowned, begrudgingly realising that Skull was right. Y/n hadn’t really answered her question, and what had happened at her parents’ house the last couple of weeks for her to stop trying to kill Lockwood by glaring at him? 

As nonchalantly as possible she asked “So you were quiet? Or was I sleeping like a rock?” 

“Um… I was quiet?” She didn’t sound very sure, and Lucy’s suspicion was growing at the same rate that Skull’s grin was. 

“I know for a fact she didn’t make it all the way up the stairs last night,” he said, some of the sludge in the jar forming comically large eyebrows that waggled around. Now that was interesting. Why would Y/n say she’d been quiet coming in if she had never come in in the first place? Lucy was just about to ask that very question when George trudged into the kitchen, oversized shirt thankfully covering what his lack of trousers didn’t. He pushed his glasses up his nose and squinting at the people gathered. 

“… What’s going on? Y/n’s not trying to murder Lockwood.”

“Why is that a thing?! I’m not always trying to kill him!”

“In fairness, it was a regular occurrence, dar-” Lockwood’s mouth snapped shut, cutting off whatever he’d been about to say. Lucy saw his jaw clench, unclench, then clench again while he flitted his eyes closed in some sort of silent prayer. 

“Yeah…” George said. “This is weird.” He stood at the head of the table, lifting a hand to scratch at his side like a monkey. “Dare I ask how your Christmas was?”

“I mean… Steph and Linda were there, but after I slapped Steph and Mum shouted at Linda they left.” Lucy stood straighter in shock, pushing off the counter she had previously been leaning on. George was similarly surprised, but Lockwood? Lockwood was grinning with pride. 

“You slapped your cousin?!” George exclaimed, a smile growing on his face. “Like, you properly hit her?!”

“I mean… yeah?” Y/n replied, taking a sip of tea. 

“It was awesome,” Lockwood added, and Lucy and George shared a look. 

“You think he would have said that before?” Skull piped up again. “I certainly don’t. Something happened while they were away, that’s for sure. And I know what it was!” He said the last part in a sing-song voice, face turning over in the jar. 

“Yeah, well you could just tell me,” Lucy muttered, drawing everyone’s attention. “Sorry. Skull’s talking.”

“Where’s the fun in that! Better to watch you figure it all out on your own!”

“Bastard.” 

George had started making his own tea, popping two slices of bread into the toaster and giving it a good whack when it didn’t immediately start working. Satisfied that his breakfast was underway, he busied himself with his drink. “So Y/n… how come your suitcase was in Lockwood’s room?” he questioned, turning and pushing his glasses further up his nose. Lucy tried to disguise her shock, but that resulted in a small smirk instead, her eyebrows rising while she regarded her friends. 

Lockwood answered. “She didn’t want to lug it all the way up the stairs, not with the time being what it was. It just… hasn’t been moved yet.” Y/n nodded, a little too enthusiastically, and cast a worried glance towards Skull. 

“So Y/n and her suitcase slept in Lockwood’s room?” George asked, still probing for answers. He had a little smile on his face, one of those ‘I figured it out’ ones that when she had first joined the agency, Lucy had mistaken for ‘I’m better than you’ smirks. She wasn’t far behind him, and if she hadn’t already figured it out then the reactions of Y/n and Lockwood were enough to confirm her suspicions. 

“Yeah, that’s right,” Y/n said, sipping her tea. There was a brief pause in which Lockwood nodded, smiling softly at her, and then it set in. Lockwood looked like he had malfunctioned, the cogs in his brain turning but not producing any kind of reaction other than a blank stare with confused eyes. Y/n choked on her mouthful of tea, spitting some of it back out into the mug and resting it on the kitchen table while she coughed. Immediately Lockwood’s brain started functioning properly again, and he quickly put his own tea down and went to help Y/n, fussing over her like a worried parent. 

Skull was chuckling in the corner again, and Lucy couldn’t help but join in. George laughed too, his mirth only growing when Lockwood and Y/n turned and glared at him. “Alright,” Lucy started. “Why was Y/n sleeping with Lockwood?”

“I wasn’t sleeping with him!” the other girl spluttered, apparently thinking that Lucy had suggested that the pair of them had had sex, and George was now nearly doubled over with laughter. Lockwood smirked, and before Lucy could protest he was already opening his mouth. 

“I mean not last night, but there were plenty of times at your parents’ house where we-”

“OH MY DAYS NO, STOP-” Y/n got up, all but tackling Lockwood to the ground and slapping her hand over his mouth to prevent him from finishing his sentence. Lockwood went down like a sack of potatoes, and the ‘oof’ he let out on impact had made Lucy snort into her mug. “They don’t need to know that, idiot,” she whispered, but since sound echoed in the kitchen Lucy and George could still hear her, even after the toaster popped loudly. 

“How long have you two… been like this?” Lucy asked, waving her hand in their direction where they now laid on the floor. Lockwood tried to talk but Y/n’s hand was still firmly keeping his mouth shut, and while he was attempting to prise himself out of her grip she was apparently too strong. Lucy didn’t want to think about how much his jaw would hurt afterwards; she had had pillow fights with Y/n that had ended with trips to the medical cabinet because the pair of them got too ambitious with their hits. 

Y/n answered, still attempting to maintain some dignity. “On the floor? A few seconds-”

“Let me rephrase,” Lucy cut her off, putting her finished mug of tea down on the counter with a decisive thud. “How long have you two been together?” Y/n stilled, giving Lockwood time to wriggle out of her grasp and glance awkwardly between his gathered colleagues. He pushed himself to sit back against the kitchen cabinets, one arm resting outstretched on his knee while the other scratched at his neck. He was nervous, then. He looked like he wanted to answer, but he was still shifting his gaze between them all. 

“Uh…” Y/n started. There was a pause, and then she sighed. “Dammit.” She fished around in her pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled five pound note. Lucy frowned for a moment, wondering what the hell a fiver had to do with this situation, then huffed in surprise when it was passed very begrudgingly to Lockwood. He looked very pleased with himself, accepting the money without moving much, hand outstretched to catch the note between his index and middle fingers. 

“What was that for?” George asked, although he’d just taken a mouthful of his toast so it came out more muffled. 

“Lockwood said we wouldn’t last a day keeping it secret from you both, and I bet that we could.” Y/n shrugged, shuffling around on the floor to sit between Lockwood’s legs. He didn’t get the message at first, too busy stuffing the money into his hoodie pocket, but after a sharp jab to his thigh he moved, wrapping his arms around her waist and complaining when Y/n shoved her elbows into his middle. 

“I swear you do that deliberately,” he muttered, but there wasn’t any malice behind it like there would have been before the holidays. 

“I don’t! If you keep complaining about it then I will do it on purpose, dickhead.”

That was better. Lucy shuddered at the thought of the two of them being overly sickly sweet, all cuddles and pet names like ‘Sugar’ or ‘Schmoopie’, and was instantly glad that the competitive streak in them both had apparently stayed. It would be a lot easier to stomach living with a new couple if they weren’t being insufferably cute. 

“So… you bet on your own acting skills?” questioned George, finishing his slice of toast. “Seems a bit stupid, really. You’re both awful at acting.” Lockwood and Y/n stopped bickering, instead staring up at George in shared outrage. 

“How dare you! I’m a charades champion!”

“I can act, it’s Lockwood that’s the problem!”

They spoke at the same time, both pointing at Lockwood for their respective comments, and Y/n took a moment to take in what he’d said. “Charades champion?” she said, drawing out the syllables and turning slowly to look at him over her shoulder. “We already talked about this, Ant. Using props is cheating, so you lost every game you played!” Lucy frowned. ‘Ant’? Since when had Lockwood let anybody call him Ant?! Apparently he didn’t mind, instead being too busy looking at Y/n with hearts for eyes while he tried (ineffectively) to argue his case. It was obvious that Y/n would win, given how wrapped around her little finger Lockwood was, but the argument wasn’t really an argument. More like… friendly teasing. Lucy could deal with that, she decided. It was much better than having to comfort one of them or convince apologies out of them after a screaming match. 

Skull had gone silent in the corner, but there was a smile in the sludge. He almost certainly had some information, but Lucy could get the details out of him and her friends later.

For now, she was content to watch them be a proper family for the first time since Y/n joined, even if Lockwood’s laughing face was being shoved away from the aforementioned girl as he tried to kiss her in an attempt to apologise for cheating at charades. 

tag list (if you're on here twice or I forgot you I'm so sorry, this tag list is honestly such a mess whoops):

@strawberryloveyyy, @chameleon021, @genderfluid-anime-goth, @cottagecore-babe, @anthonylockwoodandco111, @a-taken-url, @ahead-fullofdreams, @aislinrayne, @anathemaloren, @anthgoldenhrry, @augustisintheair, @aysha4life, @briar-rose23, @curseofhecate, @dangelnleif, @edible-rat-vomit, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @ettadear, @fearlessmoony, @fudosl, @idkbubs, @imaginebeingmentallystable, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @lady-ashfade, @light-23, @locklyebrainrot, @locklyle1kanij, @locknco, @magicandrosewaters, @mentallyillsodapop, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @newbooksmell777, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @phlooper, @ran23sblog, @reggiepeterss, @simrah1012, @somethingrandomwatzit, @star-of-velaris, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whistle1whistle, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife, @y0urm0m12, @zoom1374, @asyouwish-fromcabin3, @rhysand-devorak, @a-candle-maker, @h0lyheck, @apple-bottom-jeans6, @icantwaittoliveandlearn

@neewtmas, @bobbys-not-that-small, @avdiobliss, @demigoddess-of-ghosts, @maraschinomerry, @lewkwoodnco, @uku-lelevillain, @oblivious-idiot

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Yuu get´s stabbed-Diasomnia

Malleus

he was about to turn into a Dragon and devour everybody in his way when he smelled blood on you

and then was just floored when you casually told you got stabbed and are on your way back from the infirmary

after he gathered himself he wanted you to tell who stabbed you but all he got out of you was that you already dealt with the person so he doesn´t have to bother

also you decided to distract him with Gargoyles and it worked so he quickly forgot about the fact he just wanted to casually murder a bunch of people

but as soon as both of you are done he´ll try to get you to tell him again

Lilia

both of you had a stabbing contest and you lost which obviously meant you got stabbed

but at least it was more like a scratch than an actual stab wound, I mean it hurts even more than one but he can just slap a band-aid onto it and calls it a day

which is a bad thing because instead of a normal one he used one coated in poison

and yeah it didn´t end well, good thing you immediately went to the nurse so by the time you fainted you were already near them

Lilia just told you sorry and tried to give you some food he made himself

which if you didn´t know better you would say he tried to murder you actually scratch that maybe he does just want to kill you for fun

Silver

he has no idea how you got stabbed between him falling asleep and him waking up

but he was immediately in panic mode and quickly brought you to the nurse and stayed awake the entire time until he hears your no longer in danger than he´ll be asleep for a couple hours minimum

he fell asleep so fast the nurse almost thought he fainted

but no he was tired after learning you were bleeding out and just decided instead of getting help you just let him keep sleeping immediately after he woke up

he deserves some more ZZZs

but maybe you should call Lilia to let him know

Sebek

you decided to annoy him and he agreed to a sword fight, which ended with accidentally impaling you

and him screaming/apologizing to you the entire time while he drags you to the nearest first aid kit and if you weren´t to busy not going deaf you would have told him to get you to the nurse

because a stab wound isn´t really something you can slap a band-aid on and call it a day

after Sebek calmed down a bit he also noticed that hey maybe he should get them to the nurse instead

which ended in you dragged away and he screams at the nurse to fix you

if you have to stay for a longer while he´ll visit you and scream an apology at you

more than you expected to be honest, you thought he would just scold you for getting stabbed