#they’re cheating on their spouses i tell you

[impossibledial]

im so delusional because i havent given up on dair endgame

[allpiesforourown]

Superstar Luo Binghe au. All the directors beg him to be in their movies because his fame will immediately assure success for anything they make. He’s handsome, charming, dedicated, and most of all, extremely talented. He even does his own stunts!! Women love him, and men who say they hate him will still watch his movies so they can figure out how to be more like him. 

The only weird thing about Binghe as an actor is that he refuses to star in romantic films. He won’t kiss anyone, won’t pretend to date someone on screen, won’t even let another actor take over his role for the scenes he doesn’t want to do. His reason? He’s completely loyal to his husband.

Everyone thinks it’s stupid, obviously. You aren’t “cheating” by pretending to love someone else, it’s literally your job! Luo Binghe still refuses and says even he’s not good enough an actor to make anyone believe he could ever love someone other than Yuan-ge.

His fans hate this mysterious Yuan-ge. Because of his (probably insecure and jealous) spouse, all of Binghe’s fangirls cant see him sweep some y/n character off their feet. It’s even worse because they don’t know anything about this guy. Whenever someone asks to see or learn about Binghe’s husband, the star says he’ll never reveal Yuan-ge to the public, because he’s too beautiful and he doesn’t want everyone falling in love with him. 

People kind of run with the idea that obviously this guy must be a total weirdo who Binghe is embarrassed to be seen with. That has to be the explanation, because no matter how perfect someone is, how can they have such a chokehold on THE LUO BINGHE??

Then, one day, years after Luo Binghe’s initial rise to fame…. He goes on a talkshow. With his husband Shen Yuan. 

Obviously EVERYONE tunes in. No one uses TVs anymore bc of the internet, but just for this show, viewer ratings are the highest theyve ever been. Everyone wants to know what the fuss is all about with this guy to have Luo Binghe so down horrible. 

And Shen Yuan isn’t a weirdo. He’s also not some pretty yesman. He makes jokes that make the audience burst into laughter. He’s opinionated, which is really refreshing when every other celebrity stays neutral on every topic to avoid losing fans. He’s polite, but he’s not a pushover. He’s likeable, but he’s not a try-hard about it. Referencing memes makes him an instant hit with the younger generations, and the calm gentle way he talks makes him a hit with the older ones. All of a sudden everyone is going, okay we see why Luo Binghe is obsessed with him. 

Except… while shen yuan was making jokes and charming everyone, Luo Binghe was at his side, pathetically pawing at his husband for attention. The actor keeps whining every two minutes to be reassured yuan-ge still likes him. Whenever Shen Yuan compliments the host, Binghe looks like he’s about to cry. Whenever Luo Binghe jealously wraps his arms around shen Yuan everyone watching just rolls their eyes. Seeing them together people realize… shen yuan is the one that’s out of Luo Binghe’s league.

In just one hour public opinion goes from ‘no one can be worth binghe acting like that for’ to ‘luo binghe is so annoying, let shen yuan talk!!’ 

The next day someone finds shen yuan’s twitter and it blows up. He has his own fan pages now. There’s no pictures of him online other than the footage from the talkshow, so the fan accounts just post that over and over again. Shen yuan retweets a post about him with the caption “i never realized she was holding a plate of corn in this scene” and everyone loses their mind. Everything he says immediately goes viral bc that’s luo binghe’s attic wife.

People start nagging Binghe to post about Shen Yuan bc theyre so attached after his one and only publicized appearance. Binghe is super possessive, but yuan-ge tells him not to worry, so he relents and posts pictures of him and shen yuan on vacation. They’re together, holding hands… but shen yuan’s face and body are blurred out. It’s HORRIFYING. He looks like an eldritch monster bc luo binghe refuses to let anyone look at his yuan-ge in a swim suit, go away you perverts!! His instragram is now just full of pics of shen yuan where his eyes are blacked out so noone else can see how pretty they are. It’s nightmare fuel

Shen Yuan is unfortunately too unbothered to post pictures of himself. Everyone’s tired of Luo Binghe for “hogging shen yuan all to himself” when Shen Yuan is practically an internet celebrity now. 

People go to watch movies and their theatre conversations sound like this:

“Oh, Luo Binghe’s in this one!”

“Who?”

“You know Shen Yuan’s annoying husband?”

“OH THAT GUY..”

[azulsluver]

okay bully twst au, but what if we enjoy the bullying? mc perhaps didn't get enough attention as a child and thinks even the worst attention means love?

shymaso anon

Took my sweet sweet time for this!

This could be towards canon of reader’s personality in this AU, all thoughts are welcomed though. So I’ll try my best to go through various versions if asked.

tw. yandere, bully!characters, cheating, abusive + unhealthy relationships, subtle violence, emotional dependency, degradation, drowning, stalking (cameras).

Edit: I FORGOT KALIM AND JAMIL

Welcome to the team •shymaso anon ⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃

Riddle Rosehearts trains you to be the best.

He knew you would understand him, in his own way, Riddle believes the two of you were destined as you nod and responded to his lectures.

Every mistake you took his punishments without hesitation, hands gripping at your locks as your battered face looks up at him with mercy. Letting the collar he summoned around your neck choke you blue but you cling to him like a source of light. Riddle can crumble right there and now.

You’re not making his feelings any better as soon as he learns of your past. It just encourages him to be harsher, understand that everything he did is for you, us! Riddle however, would be much generous of your tolerance. Cooing rather than yelling at you for dropping something. You mustn’t be too clumsy, Riddle expects the best performance from you after a three hour long session.

It’s kitten licks once he’s over his brutish tendencies, doting you like the perfect spouse you were meant to be. All your wounds tell a story, how rough the two of you had it (even if the injuries are yours solely), what’s a better love story? Riddle built you solely for the sake of your relationship, the moment you let yourself be known that his teachings and rules are one to be taken serious. He’s groaning in his hands by how perfect you’ve become.

Riddle makes you dance on eggshells, because you rather keep your mouth shut and let it be he takes control of every move you make, all the things you eat to wear will be supervised by him. You love him too much to say no.

Trey Clover has you under his thumb.

Doesn’t Trey know better? Of course he did, he always does. Trey understands the way your mind worked before you could, you like the way he insults you, no amount of tears can hide that familiarity of fondness from him. Like a child being sent to time out, Trey will open his arms to you after you learn your lesson.

See? He feeds you, he provides your need once your good. Because good, obedient things like you deserve nothing but his presence. Isn’t that enough, he’s enough, you really can’t get away from him either way.

When your feelings get hurt, he will dig himself into your comfort zone, find him, Trey will console you the best he can before flicking your forehead. Kiss his cheek as a thank you, he’ll remind you that no one else will do these sorts of things when times get rough. Only Trey will. So he’ll wait until you decided to show up at his doorstep.

He knows you can’t separate the difference between love and abuse, you don’t need to, all he’s worried about is getting you away from everyone else. They’re hurting you so much he’s running out of medical supplies to patch you up. Stay with him, in his arms, his home, as you eat, sleep, think, see him everyday.

Trey will gladly give you his attention, just give yourself to him. Don’t fight it, the thought never crosses your mind.

Cater Diamond comes to a conclusion.

He’s quick to pick up your behavior. Don’t call him an expert, but Cater can spot a neglected child like you a mile away. He at first would pass you by, you got a lot going on man.

Unless you attract his attention, Cater pops up once in a while to see how things are going. Let himself relax, hand supporting his head as you ramble on your day, Cater doesn’t bother to pretend he’s listening nor interested. He is however, eyeing the bruise on your neck. Cater can do a lot without interrogating or forcing you, your reluctance is adorable, keep up that nervous smile as he takes a couple of pics of your bloodied nose and forehead.

Cater considers you to be helpless, for a person to accept their loss and let the world decide whether you’ll die or live under their hands. It’s awful, but he won’t do anything to stop it. You make him think a lot. He won’t show it nor express his opinion, but Cater wonders if you know what true love is. He knows this sick obsession he has for you is nothing compared to the real thing. But you won’t complain, so he crushes your skull with his hands just to be in your personal space. That look on your face is priceless.

Years of conflict battles in his mind, should he revel his true self to you? He’s so dull, you don’t seem to care much as long as he’s speaking to you in that monotone voice. You’re so strange.

A long ride of emotions go through him, he knows you won’t laugh in his face or push his boundaries, he’s made sure of that by drilling it in your head that Cater Diamond can easily put you six feet under if you tried. You’re sweet, kissing him up and consoling him, he feels terrible that he had to push his way through when you so happily let him in.

Ace Trappola tests your loyalty.

No normal person likes to be pushed around, Ace figured you must’ve been some sort of masochist.

One of the many things he did to get on your nerves was ditch you for his group. Did he invite you to hang out? Sorry, you must have heard him wrong, but you can always latch on to them later if you’re that lonely. Ace doesn’t miss the way you take that opportunity, sticking to his side and only talking when someone asks you a question. Either that you basked in his presence.

Ace tested the waters little by little with new schemes, pushing you into tight spaced closets or putting bugs in your clothes. Forcing you to touch something be set on fire or nudge your gut too harshly to set you back into reality. And all of it, you come running back to him.

You make him feel bad, the more he has you in his arms, shaking as you beg him to not leave you over and over. How brainless can you be? Who are you to tell him what he should or shouldn’t do with you, how dare you make him sick to his stomach as he brings you closer while rubbing your back tenderly.

Don’t whine too much when he throws an arm around another person, exclaiming how pretty they are compared to you. He has no problem saying all of these things in your face if you dare look his way. Please look his way Look at how sweet the kisses are, it’s not rough and mean when he does it with you!!!

Deuce Spade tries again and again.

With Ace not mouthing his ear off, Deuce can happily hold you close to him. Your finger nails all dirty from clawing the floor and face swollen from the metal bar he used after finding you talking to someone that wasn’t him or Ace. You’re doing so good, listening to his sorries as he preps kisses on your lips.

The fear of your rejection is nonexistent, cuddling up by his side with an arm around you, you’re showing Deuce the submission he sought out for. You’re docile. And it makes him happy, you’re happy.

Deuce will promise to never hurt you again, as long as you stay by his side he will never leave you. So don’t mind if he gets angry sometimes, it’s the heat of the moment, he didn’t mean it, don’t cry he’ll wipe your tears with more promises. Deuce loves you, so, so much.

You bring yourself back, you’re getting more beat up than usual. He finds it in his heart to push you away during times like these, but you insist. He needs you just as badly as you needed him, the two of you finding comfort in one another as he runs a finger down the scars on your collarbone. The bruise ring near your throat has him in a trance. Your body knows and accepts it.

Unfortunately you accept Deuce. You could say the blind leading the blind fits perfectly.

Leona Kingscholar lets you stick around.

Are you throwing yourself at him? Do you seek his attention purely for your own desire, Leona can see the way your eyes shine brighter after seeing him. Does his cold nature entice you, does it make you lean close to his claws as they scratch at your cheeks and chin?

Leona’s tail will fester in a slow yet excited tempo, each time you come back to him after he tells you to fuck off just to bring him a snack. He guess he can entertain you for a while, just don’t get used to it, he has better things to do than playing babysitter with you. ….Oh come back, it was a joke, can’t take humor well now he sees.

Sing him his praises, tell him how handsome he is even when he points out your flaws. Snuggle against his palm like you crave the hurt, his fangs snarling when you pull back. Leona won’t deny it any longer, such a sweet thing is too good to pass up. You don’t run away when he gets too rough, Leona has to remind himself how fragile magicless toys are, he’s not looking to break you so early on. Not that he needs to, you don’t seem to search for any sort of attention but his.

You must remember that Leona can’t always be there to keep you in check. Going days without seeing you, when needed that look, his hands on you in whichever way, bend and twist till you felt like screaming.

Patience is key, Leona decided it’s better that you stay with him, only. There isn’t any reason to leave, he’s got everything covered, so don’t listen when he whispers to you in the dead of night that he’ll toss you once you serve it’s purpose. It’s a way for you to tightly wrap your arms around him with a cry.

Ruggie Bucchi is complexed of your relationship.

If it weren’t for his fondness of you, Ruggie would have left you to fend for yourself. He’s putting in effort, alright, Ruggie doesn’t have time to be at your side everyday of the hour. You stress him out so bad.

He keeps to himself about his feelings regarding of your relationship with everyone else, as Ruggie makes himself of some use, the back of his mind tells him he isn’t enough. It should be a good thing! You’re getting the attention you crave, but Ruggie wants to be your attention, so he gets more aggressive with you. Ruggie often drifts to what more can he be than your side job of a babysitter. When it becomes too much he’ll ghost you for a couple of weeks to calm down.

Ruggie never thought he would find himself with you of all people, he’s so use to pushing you away, only interacting with you since you cry too much or Leona told him to check up on you. He’s angry at you for messing with him, you must forget who’s in charge of the situation (he’s expressing himself here).

In a perspective, Ruggie is cleaning up everyone’s mess, you, you’re getting the privilege of being a pain and no one is stopping you. Ruggie wants to stop you, not that he cares for your well being, but extra work isn’t rewarding him…..enough. You thank Ruggie for tending to your wounds but never ask him to talk about his day. Being under the food chain is nothing, but to you, doesn’t he deserve a better place than that?

Choosing him will make him annoyed, cheesy, yet annoyed. How much longer must he play pretend until you lay your head on his chest and indicate his love for you. Ruggie would rather eat mouthfuls of dirt before confessing. You make his head hurt, so he goes back to distancing until he’s ready to deal with you again.

Jack Howl swears to change.

It’s like a slap to the face. Whether you directly or hint it to him, Jack feels like the worst person in all of Twisted Wonderland. He’s supposed to be good, not bad and treat you like shit.

Your belief of any sort of attention is love, bad love, is good enough—Jack will have a meltdown. Did he not succeed to make you comfortable? He prides it in himself to change your views, Jack will show you what love is. But it’s not easy when he’s too shy to hold your hand. He has to be pushed in the situation to even touch you, you’ll take it the wrong way of him not wanting to touch you at all, that’s not true!

Protecting you is his job, not full time. If he could, Jack sets rules for you, one is to stop interacting with anyone that hurts you. Don’t show him that blissed expression after being tugged and called a bitch, it makes his tail stiff. It’s degrading, and he’s not the one being degraded. You make him feel like a joke, his actions aren’t enough that you actively search for more of that abuse, Jack would kill you.

He isn’t perfect on the ideally healthy relationship. He slips up time to time when it comes to your well being. He swears he knows best, because you’re just a fuck up that let’s everyone walk on you. He’s doing it again-he’s being mean; all is forgiven when he’s holding his head to your lap as he mutter an apology.

Jack may not have a good grip of your problem, but he wished you seek him out other than their abusive behavior. Jack is good if you’re happy and he thinks you did good. Focused on his happiness, you’re a little addicted to his controlling energy, just don’t say it to his face.

Azul Ashengrotto finds you in pathetic.

Fucked up trauma and you decided to come for him to cope. Azul is nerved by this fact, who enjoys suffering the worst kinds of attention, you’re clearly not loved enough, where is your respect??

Azul will blabber on, as if he’s not walking into your little world of misfortune. Sneering your way and rolling his eyes, it makes you attach to him in an instant. Is that attractive to you, to be an asshole who walks over you as a crumb of attention. Through all the scoffing and insults, Azul falls deeper to fill in that hole. Let his hand tighten around your forearm for getting in his way. Or getting in your personal space and accusing you of being a pervert. Just keep seeking out for him, he’s hungry to indulge unintentionally.

As a NORMAL person, Azul begs the Gods to stop him from continuing this madness. You plague him, and it’s insane he lets this continue any further. He should’ve stopped you, himself, anything from calling you a nauseous to pretty in seconds.

But you keep bothering him, finding a way to be at his side. He doesn’t push you away, warning you to make the best out of his time before he decides to do something more important than pleasing your desperate self. His doors are always open to you.

If you want it so badly then fine. Azul, behind closed doors, will allow you to look at him, touch him, put your head on his thigh as his index rub circles around the fading bruise on your neck. Glance up at him lovingly, thank him for giving such good attention. Azul can purr under all this affection.

Jade Leech is all too happy.

You accept every slap on the wrist as a necessity. Your wrong doings of not giving Jade his usual attention span, taking it with tears threatening to fall from your puffy eyes. You know not to cry because he’ll make it a big deal, wipe your tears and accept his love.

Without a doubt, Jade isn’t afraid to confess to you, fingers dragging against the marked skin of teeth that blossoms a deep and dark color. He does it because he loves you, you know? Isn’t this what you’re use to, his love taps are a reminder, he loves yoouu. Listen to him tell you how much he wishes to leave you in the crashing waves of the sea, that’s just him telling you how you aren’t strong enough to care for yourself.

Jade wants you to realize that you aren’t capable of making it on your own, he’s your proof of it. Be sweet and let him pinch your cheeks for taking his procedures so well.

What a poor thing to sap on his abusive techniques, Jade wonders if you truly enjoy the attention, how far is it to love before you’re screaming for him to stop and let you go? Is it until what little is left of your self respect that has you begging for him to look at you? Jade is happy to do so, you’re so entertaining to have around!

Be aware, since Jade fully understands how you react to his actions he’ll have no issue stripping it away. Mommy didn’t praise you enough; so he won’t tell you how good you did for letting him dunk your head in water. Daddy never apologized after a fight; he won’t even leave you a note and remind you how undeserving you are to him.

Floyd Leech makes the most of it.

A darling that throws itself at him isn’t that bad, Floyd can make use of it. You’re just lucky you’re so cute and biteable. If you run for him and let him chase you it may last, catching him pent up to the point he wanted to rip your tendons isn’t though.

Floyd constantly calls for you when he wakes up, have you by his side when he sleeps. His attention is overwhelming, don’t go complaining this late, you’re far too gone the rabbit hole.

What other factors does it come with? Don’t be boring on him now, make Floyd work for it, make him confused, surprised, intrigued. Spice it up by hesitating when he questions if he can get inside your rib cage. Your face is the highlight of his day, shrimpy knows how to please him. Floyd will outright confess his gratitude for you, it’s him calling you out for your own unhealthy coping, down to each flaw and how it makes you more enjoyable.

He’s great at reading the room it’s just he doesn’t put that knowledge to use with you, whether you can put up with it during a long period of time Floyd is there to terrorize you until you had enough. He’s a hundred percent positive you would get fed up, having to live in fear he would get aggressive, or sweet, it depends.

With so many choices and your endless possibilities of a reaction Floyd is like a child receiving their first ever birthday gift. It’s new each time. It gives him something different to experiment, he’s not stopping yet before you get on your knees and beg him to leave you be.

Vil Schoenheit takes advantage of you.

This is exactly what Vil feared. He doesn’t know if he should enjoy this or correct you, not when you seek him out like he so badly wishes he can do. Vil envies you, if he didn’t have a reputation to uphold he would smother you to death with his unhealthy dose of love, you’ll like it.

Vil finds it hard to be rough with you, not getting on his nerves and you openly encourage him to do more. To be Vil’s comfort is embarrassingly giddy when he thinks of it at night, he was keen on the thought that he wouldn’t go so low to let you eat it. His attention that is. But stopping anytime soon is not easy, he can just eat you up for making him act like some rabid animal.

This means Vil can take out his frustration on you without you begging for him to kill you. A sane person would’ve insulted him till their last dying breath, that he’s a monster for even picking on the weak. Naturally, someone like you shudders at Vil’s remarks.

Vil wants YOU to be desperate for his attention, not the other way around. Treat him like a God, grovel on your knees and kiss him up. Don’t mind the way he discreetly rolls his eyes to the back of his head with a hand covering his mouth. His words are mean and untrue, pushing his heeled shoe on your head so you don’t look up at him. Not yet.

Who knows who’s gaining what in this situation. You’re getting what you wanted, and so is he, in a farther abnormal substance. Vil has your deprived mind in his greedy hands, directing you his reasons as to why he does things. Factually, someone like him shouldn’t have to explain to the likes of you.

Rook Hunt declares his innocence.

Rook would never hurt you! Everything he does is from the honesty of his heart, it’s not his fault you can’t take criticism. Oh but you do, you try to change and Rook notices that.

A tube of lipstick can do a lot on a person, once you listen on his advice Rook is smitten. The hurt in your eyes and the next day you’re looking up to him for approval. He sighs with a hand on his chin, it wouldn’t hurt to tell you that the color looked alright. You can always touch up on your brows once and a while you know. Rook loves this side of you. He loves every expression and attitude you throw his way, you make his time so enduring.

He’s always greeting you with open arms and grabby hands, burying his nose in your hair to take a deep inhale of your scent. You smell different, new shampoo? Or did you hang around another person? Rook will try to ignore the subtle threat in his gut, as much as he adores this quirky behavior of yours, letting you be used as a pawn isn’t in his favor. He can admire from afar but he’ll want the real thing with him sooner or later.

See, Rook isn’t like those viscous things. He can treat you just like them if you ask nicely. But he’s too busy grabbing your face and rubbing his cheeks against yours. “Your skin is a little oily”— while blushing madly, the thought of your dead skin cells are touching his makes him merry.

He’s gross, but don’t comment on it too often, can’t you appreciate his affection and kindness. He’s not tearing you apart after all, he can hold himself better! Rook wants to let himself be free with you, but doing so will make you run no matter how much you reassure him of your decision. For now, let him play with your emotions for a while, show him more of what you can give him. It’s fair.

Epel Felmier loves you to death.

Epel can suffer through it. You don’t know what you’re doing to him, giving him the thumbs up when he tugs at your hair to face his way. What a sicko!!

He won’t shy from it, a little, but he’s precise on his feelings. Whispering in your ear how disgusting you are for exploiting yourself to other men and women. You love the attention don’t you? Epel can provide that for you, he can do anything to prove to you that he’s better than the others. So stop looking at them and kiss him better as an apology if you wanna start…

Are you enjoying the attention or is he? Epel is clingier, his grip on your fingers hurt because he’s too busy announcing his future with you. A nice little thing waiting at his beck and call, allowing him to degrade you when his days are busy and rough. He’s going off, you’re not sure if you like the idea but it makes him happy. You need him happy or he’ll make sure you don’t get any sort of attention.

Epel needs to be in check, he’s still young about love and how it works. Since he’s so stubborn it’s difficult for anyone to tell him off, calling your partner a dumbass because you didn’t pick up his thick accent isn’t very nice.

Typically, he goes to his elders for help. Epel has a hunch that you being okay with all of this isn’t normal. They all tell him differently on how to handle you, make the best of it or be more strict in case you’re trying to trick him. Any type of lying is met with his fist to your gut…. He’ll give you a kiss on the cheek and apple slices as an apology once he finds out you actually love him back.

Erratic, one might say, Epel thinks with his heart than head, much like Deuce. He has a problem with controlling his emotions, it’s overwrought to be this depressing over you and himself. If you can survive Epel’s errors of ways he might just put a ring on that finger.

Idia Shroud bites more than he can handle.

Gwaah, you’re so miserable he has to look the other way at how embarrassing you are. Seriously, Idia is mean, sure, but that’s because you can’t stand up for yourself. Will he be able to? Only the future will tell, but he’ll just respond with the fact it didn’t happen so it’s not his problem.

All the yapping but he’s keeping you locked in his arms as he plays games for the next three hours. Pinching at your side to stop you from squirming, he reminds you that YOU wanted this. Idia personally believes that you accepting his weird behavior makes you a weirdo but 10x worse, in reality he’s stabbing his nails against the palms of his hands from exploding. His hair gives it away.

You’re not like a cat, a cat would hiss and scratch from all the abuse you’ve been through. Rather a wet dog that comes crawling with the hunger of love, no matter what kind. Even if that love hits you, tells you how little worth you are, it’s love in some way because he’s watching you through the cameras. You have to be teasing him for how many times you call out his name during your naps. He’s so glad you took in the plushies, your face is worth a shit ton once he gets Azul to bargain a pay.

Idia will deny you of attention, it’s so embarrassing to come up to him of all people. Don’t say weird things out loud in public will you? It freaks him out, he’s a loser at heart but that’s because he respects privacy (not yours though).

Behind closed doors he’ll gradually open up to you, it’s more than he can handle when you’re so eager to have him around. Idia will learn to enjoy the attention, it won’t soothe his heart nor the bursting of flames of his hair that tickles your skin every time you hug him after he degrades you. You’re going to be the death of him.

Malleus Draconia spoils you rotten.

Searching for that nasty push and shove isn’t on his list. Malleus, confused as to why you enjoy being bossed and thrown around like some ragdoll. If it makes you happy….he guess he can play along.

Malleus pays attention to your body language, what makes you squirm into his arms when he tells you he’d gauge your eyes out for looking at another person. Not that he would do so, he likes your eyes so much! Malleus prances around on your idea of the ideal relationship. You’re scraping whatever he gives you, Malleus is showing you all of it. He’s happy you feel the same.

He doesn’t correct you, because he himself doesn’t see the problem of the two of you, it’s love, let it be. With no one to tell him, Malleus is selfish of your free will. You always let him touch you, hold you, bruise you (accidentally). You’re practically letting him eat from your hand as he does with you, if you like getting hurt he’ll let his nails leave trails of scars on your back. But tell him you like it, he wants to know he’s doing good.

You won’t be needing anybody else’s attention but Malleus, he takes up most of your time and day. You’ll be taken with him at this point, that is if you willingly move in with him. Malleus grows more paranoid each day seeing that you run around looking for more, greedy thing, he’ll hold back so much before locking you up forever.

Praise him. Malleus returns everything you do, all met with luxury as long as you stay by his side. If you stop responding to him he isn’t a happy camper, look, look at him, do you want to get roughed up?? You won’t mouth a thing so he might as well show you how far his patience wears.

Lilia Vanrouge plays it like normally.

You bring something new to Lilia like a box of chocolates. Why wouldn’t you want his love, it’s all tease until he grows bored enough to put his hands on you.

Lilia juggles your inexperience self in a loop, he’s keeping you on your toes. He can’t scold you when you find it deserving, he wants you to know it’s intentional, being mean that is. Just because he’s looking you up and down doesn’t mean it’s good, no. Lilia will train your mind to recognize the difference of rewarding you for the sake of your sanity and punishing you for doing bad.

Don’t take his word for granted, Lilia absolutely loves it when you coddle up to him, you cling to his every word and do silly tricks without asking. Your oblivious nature to his cruelty entertains him, there isn’t any backing down or settling less once he takes notice of your questionable quirks. In fact Lilia is sure he’s seen these types of response before, poor things handed to the wrong people, as if he’d make himself better for your sake.

Getting a little too deep with your private background, Lilia is curious as to what makes you nostalgic. Were any of your parents present? Did they look over your achievements, your hobbies, the things you like and dislike to eat? Would you cry on his shoulder if he asked? Lilia wants all the answers, so he can see and mirror that exact moment. He’s just a little nicer about it, it’s all jokes remember that.

Silver makes you see differently.

You don’t find the time for the Silver haired man. He speaks to the animals and sleeps most of the time, there isn’t much to look for. Silver however, tries his best to stay awake when you come around. Looking more presentable and making small talk when you decide to speak to him and not his father or Sebek.

When you’re so used to it, you expect the worst to happen. Falling and breaking your nose, but Silver gracefully catches you before you fall. Like the fairytales you use to read as a child, it feels like a dream being held so gently and cared for. Silver would randomly send you notes from a dove, often times telling you how nice your hair looked or that your smile is pretty. Once consumed by the dirty look and pinches you’ll crave Silvers voice.

He bids you farewell on days you want to be left alone, to isolate and cry for hours. He waits patiently by your door with a nice homemade meal he learned from a book. Silver is the definition of comfort. You’re saying that probably because it’s genuine affection, not that you’ll know any better.

Your body is always somehow mangled or damaged, noticeable, yet Silver doesn’t berate you for letting it happen. Instead he takes your hands in his and pull them close to his mouth as he tells you to stay with him. He won’t let them hurt you. He promises. Promises are silly, but you couldn’t help but nod.

Silver will take what he knows from his father about love. If it meant locking hiding you for your sake then be it. You’re like danger magnet, Silver will defend you to the best of his capabilities. Your Prince Charming is all you could ask for, through the guilt he feels, stuck in his throat because he knows what he’s doing isn’t right. Your’e too far gone to see it, soon, he will too.

Sebek Zigvolt gives in to your delusions.

Clueless. Someone has to tell him in his face and maybe write it down, Sebek doesn’t read too well with humans oddity. Sebek does acknowledge your submissive character, he refuse to praise it though.

Going for him is super easy, Sebek is yelling most of the time and has his hands somewhere on you while he’s at it. No one butts in to stop him, he’s a little slow when you act all meek and agree without a hint of sarcasm. The irony of it. Sebek continuously falls for your trap, once he puts the pieces together you’re in for it.

At first he’s real smug about it, as expected you come to him of all people for attention, Sebek is great at socializing! Second, don’t forget who has the upper hand, he’ll dangle it around but the bait will fall in. Sebek tries to be the mastermind behind it, but he’s not successful enough if he keeps giving you exactly what you’re after. He slaps himself every time it happens, self control is important in a knight, so he stays by your side with the intention of ignoring you.

But that doesn’t work out, you make him so pissed he’s not even sure why!? Looking at him all needy, your scent is overwhelming too when was the last time you showered? (He deeply inhales whenever he gets the chance). You’re purposely trying to get him to fail his lesson. A lesson he made up entirely.

Doing nothing is something to him. Being near him is setting him off. He’s straightening his posture and giving you his best glare. And without thinking he’s opening his big fat mouth to lecture you,.

[nicromancytarot]

HOW WILL YOU MEET YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE?

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides how you will meet your future spouse, pick a pile to see what they had to say!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

PILE 1

For you guys I am getting the feeling that you’re at some type of work convention, possibly an important business opportunity. There seems to be a theme of money and work for this pile, I’m getting heavily that this is something that you either didn’t want to go to, or we’re reluctant to attend.

This mindset could have something to do with you possibly being nervous about what this opportunity has in store for you. Some of you may be at some big gala type event trying to build your reputation so you can get more business, or even a promotion. I see someone who is really on the edge of their seat with nerves, they keep topping up their wine glass. I can’t help but notice the outfit that they are wearing, for me I’m seeing a feminine figure, they’re wearing a long gold sparkly dress, apologising for almost knocking over a glass of wine as they pour themself another, this person does seem very anxious lmao.

I think you will be introduced to your future spouse through either a friend, or some older male figure that you work with. For a few of you, you will be really not wanting to meet anyone new during this time, you’ll be stuffing your mouth full of all these delicacies like pastries in order to not have to speak to anyone.

It’s at this point that this masculine comes over to retrieve you, for some it may be your boss, or manager, for others this will be one of your closest friends.

Your future spouse will take control of the conversation when the masculine leaves, they will be quick to bring you into an engaging discussion over possibly something to do with your job. You’ll be very confused as to why you don’t feel uncomfortable around this stranger, some of you may even notice that this is your future spouse since the spark will be there in an instant.

A select amount of you will be asked for your number, or email, something so they can contact you for “business”, this form of contact will absolutely not be used for business lmao.

PILE 2

You guys are really going through the ringer around the time that you meet your future spouse, for some of you, you maybe even be around the age of thirty at this time, the only reason I say this is because it could be your Saturn return which is influencing all this hardship. However, a lot of you will be pretty young, as I’m seeing someone going out to a club/party to go get absurdly drunk.

A lot of you will be going through a really hard breakup during this era of your life, this could be with a partner that you were will for a long while, as I’m getting the feeling that you though this was your forever person. I don’t think you’ve really given yourself much time to heal from this partnership before you go out clubbing to detach from the feeling of aloneness.

For a very select few of you, you may have been cheated on by your partner, and find out only a few days prior to this meet.

You’re going out to feel free and completely out of control of whatever is going on around you, some of your friends might even try to encourage you to leave before something happens, as I do see you trying to cope with your sadness by drinking yourself into oblivion.

A small amount of you will meet your future spouse, eye them up and then take them to the back or to your place, possibly even their place to have some intimate time. So yes, this could start of as a hookup.

Others of you are going to embarrass the hell out of yourselves, I’m seeing some tripping over and falling onto the lap of the other, in another scenario there’s someone falling down some stairs and some other person catching her just before she plummets.

This person may even stay with you to help you sober up lmao, you may confide in this person a little too much and cry to them about your failed relationship while in a drunken state. They could even hold your hair back while you’re busy throwing up #cute.

I’m seeing that they may ask for yours or your friends number so they can check on you later that night, or in the morning.

PILE 3

You guys are also going through something during this time, for some of you it’s a failed situationship which I think you were committed to for a long time, this seems to have come out of the blue, a completely unexpected betrayal.

Whoever the person you were dealing with is, they are the type to say that “labels are pointless”

Others of you were under the impression that you were in a relationship, but instead you were actually in a situationship and your person slept with or got with another person, this caused an uproar and you were quick to make the decision to leave.

For a very, very small amount of you, you possibly got up and left off to another part of the world, wanting to be completely disconnected from this person and their terrible sense of loyalty.

The rest of you are also travelling or on vacation in another country/state etc (depending on where you are stationed) I see that you may go into a store or to a market place and have to ask the clerk/seller for the price of the piece, or possibly you accidentally ask a random person, thinking that they are a worker.

Whichever way this goes, that is your future spouse. They will do their best to help you, if you mistook them for a worker, they will be sure to laugh it off.

I’m seeing someone that you just instantly click with, they may not be your ideal type, but the two of you just make so much sense together.

This person will either say something about your beauty, compliment your style or even the item in your hand, this will then turn into a long winded conversation about whatever it is they have brought up, some of you may give your number, others of you will leave and come back to the store/market place another day while on your trip and meet with this persons again.

Bonus: they have a gorgeous smile.

[oh-stars]

Lilies & Lavender

Lavender

a Stobin Month 2024 prompt | 712 words | CW: assumed cheating, lavender marriage, nosy neighbors | Rating: G

--

“Mrs. Grayfield thinks you’re cheating on me,” Robin says as she hands him another bag of soil. 

Steve snorts, swiping at his face with the back of his gloved hand to brush off the dirt he knows he feels on his face. “She always thinks someone’s cheating,” he says. He rips open the bag of soil and starts adding it to the new pots they just bought for the porch. “Remember when she made that big fuss about the Levinsons? Turns out, they had their extended family living with them for some time.”

“Yeah, but this time she has, like, actual evidence,” Robin says, grunting with the effort of moving the new lilies they’d picked up that morning. “Tell me again why we’re not putting these beautiful plants in our actual garden?” 

“Our flower beds get too much shade,” Steve says. “I want to see how they do in the pots out here first before we commit to rearranging the back flower beds.” He squints up at her. “You were the one who said the porch was missing something.” 

She shrugs. “I was more so thinking we could freshen up the upholstery on the bench.” 

Steve waves her off. “This is better.” He takes the flower from her and together they replant it in its new home, a massive flower pot that’ll take up a good chunk of space on their porch. “What evidence does she have?” 

“Evidence?” 

“You said she had evidence I was cheating?” 

“Oh!” Robin giggles. “She saw Chrissy leaving the other morning.” 

Steve laughs and shakes his head. “This is why I think Ed and Chris should just move into the place around the corner. Then we wouldn’t have to explain the cars to anyone.” 

“But then Chrissy would lose her bay window,” Robin says, “and I am not prepared to deal with her losing that window.” 

“I think you both would live.” 

“And can you imagine if Eddie has to deal with noise complaints every other day?” 

Steve groans and grabs the next plant to place beside the first lily. “You’re right, it's a horrible idea.” 

Robin’s quiet while they finish transferring the lilies to their new pots, all eight of them neatly planted in the two pots to frame their porch steps where they can get the most sun possible. “Should we get a divorce?” 

“We could, but what’s the point? It’s not legal to marry who we actually want to marry and the benefits we get from being married are too good to pass up on. And personally,” Steve says as he takes off his gloves to actually scratch at his face, “I don’t feel like dealing with the headache of splitting our assets unless we need to.” 

“Good point.” 

“Plus,” Steve smirks, “if we’re divorced, we can’t use the spouse excuse.” 

Robin beams. The spouse excuse is something all four of them use to get out of things, sure, but for Steve and Robin, they like to remind their partners of who they’re actually married to from time to time. It’s the best way to keep their sacred sleepovers – no one can argue that a husband and wife are meant to spend the night together. 

She looks at their hard work. The lily pots still need to be moved to where they’ll actually be sitting, the white flowers bright against the terracotta pots. “Do you think it clashes with the lavender?” She motions to the lavender plants lining their flower bed and the paved path that connects to their driveway. 

Steve shakes his head. “And even if it did, it’s only temporary.” 

“What time’s Eddie coming over?”

“Three. We have to leave by four to get to the concert though. You sure you two don’t want to come with?” Steve asks. 

Robin hums. “I think we’ll pass. I want some quiet one-on-one time with her before the anniversary trip, you know?” 

Steve nods, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees Mrs. Grayfield watching from her own garden. He leans over and kisses her cheek. “Sounds wonderful, dear,” he says a little louder. “My dearest wife, would you mind grabbing the hose so we can water the flowers?” 

She catches on quick, grin impossibly wider. “Anything for you, darling husband of mine.”

--

Thank you @lady-lostmind for beta reading!

Ao3 Link

[hoss-bonaventure]

i want to expand on this post just cause i can.

so much of gus and jesse’s relationship is played as an affair. this is only because it makes walt’s anger about their dynamic feel more jilted, like a lover. when he confronts jesse about the two of them having dinner he uses language an excusatory husband would use if he caught his spouse cheating such as “tell me you weren’t as his house last night?” it’s very clearly written as jesse being disloyal to walt and their partnership. now the audience knows that’s just simply not true with jesse literally saying “if you kill mr. white, you’re going to have to kill me too” when he thinks gus is suggesting killing him. he’s devoted to mr. white throughly. even when he’s being shoved into these new situations by mike and gus, there’s never a moment where he thinks about abandoning him. he’s still in the back of his mind through everything, and every character knows this except for walt. that’s what makes most of the build-up leading to gus’s death so ironic. to walt, gus is the other woman who needs to be killed for fraternizing with what’s “his”. in reality, it’s his own brutality and sadistic behavior that is putting a wedge between him and jesse. 

it’s very reminiscent of walt finding out about skyler’s affair with ted. he lashes out and throws a tantrum but he never stops for a second and asks why it happened. he never comes to the conclusion that his actions are what’s driving skyler into another’s arms. he plots to get revenge on ted, but it’s never more serious than toxic masculine how-dare-you-sleep-with-my-wife bullshit. he wants to kill him, i don’t doubt that, but he can’t. how can he? killing, torturing, and all that depravity belongs in the “heisenberg” part of his life. he cannot touch ted because he is as mundane as the life he is fronting. 

now, i will admit, the skyler affair storyline and jesse’s so-called adultery are really not that similar at all. like i said, jesse is not betraying anyone--he is still fiercely dedicated to mr. white. his unfaithfulness is only interpreted as much by walt himself, and it’s walt’s delusions drive him away in the first place. skyler cheats as a means of revenge, as a way to take back some autonomy that walt had stripped her of. however, it’s the way that walt handles these individual perfidies that’s so captivating to me. when deciding what to do with gus, he immediately decides he needs to kill him. this was his plan prior, but now it’s more dire. jesse is gone. he needs to kill two birds with one stone: win back jesse and kill gus. more importantly, he needs to show jesse that him killing gus was something he did for the both of them. so thus he embarks on this convoluted, deplorable, fucked-up scheme. and hey! it works. he successfully manipulates jesse once again, implanting in his brain that no one will have your best interests at heart but me. “gus had to go” and jesse has to agree because this pseudo-son is dying and mr. white is right there and he saved him right? he saved brock and he saved jesse and it doesn’t matter that their love has a body count. their reunion is so impactful because they’re like magnets in a way. the connection they share is so strong that it doesn’t matter how hard they fight or run away, they will cling to each other once more. but what’s devastating this time around is that jesse doesn’t have a leg to stand on with mr. white anymore. he almost fucking killed him and it turns out the “real” mastermind was gus all along. so he offers his submission as an apology, when mr. white holds out his hand he takes it because this is how he can say he’s sorry. and walt? how could he not fall in love all over again. he has jesse, freshly martyred and in his arms once again. 

[morganbritton132]

thinking of eddie one day on live saying he doesn’t get why the internet calls him a wifeguy, him being defensive saying he talks about steve a normal amount people just over exaggerate it cause they’re gay

someone then proceeds to link him a 40 minute long youtube compilation thats part 4 in a ongoing series of eddie always finding the strangest ways to bring steve up in interviews, constantly derailing conversations without realizing, just being absolutely disgustingly in love etc etc. the video also includes the interviewers’ confusion as they try to comprehend what on earth steve has anything to do with what they just asked + the series has a counter of how many times eddie is recorded saying “my husband” that is currently well past the 200’s

eddie ends the live in embarrassment

I think Eddie would be offended the first time someone called him a wifeguy.

Someone in the chat say that Eddie is such a wifeguy and Eddie is just like, “Ummm, no? I’m not a ‘wifeguy’ because I’m gay. I’m married to a man. A wife does not enter the equation. I’m a husband-guy. A husband-husband, if you will.”

Eddie goes to find Steve and tells him, “Someone on the internet called you my wife.”

Steve, who is just trying to eat his lunch in peace: Oh-kay?

Eddie to the camera: He’s offended. Look at him.

People in the comments explain to him that a wifeguy is just a guy who loves his spouse and talks about them all the time. The term is a bit heteronormative, but the concept is just guy that loves his spouse, like Eddie. And Eddie is cool with that until someone else comments about how a lot of wifeguys have recently cheated or left their wives and they don’t want Eddie and Steve to break up.

Eddie responds to that and says, “Yeah…I don’t want – I don’t want that. I don’t want to be grouped with the YouTube guy that cheated on his wife at a Harry Styles concert. And I don’t talk about Steve all the time. I just tell you guys funny little stories and he happens to be there.”

Commence everybody linking Eddie in YouTube compilations of him talking about Steve, dating all the way back to Corroded Coffins’ first interview where he’s purposely not gendering his partner while he talks about how they were the inspiration of their current single.

I don’t think Eddie would be embarrassed because I think he just owns everything about himself, but I do think that he would go and find Steve again and film him showing Steve part 4 of the YouTube series Eddie Munson Loving His Husband.

Steve, who is still just trying to eat lunch, is like, “Ed, this forty minutes.”

Eddie: Shh, look how much I love you. Look how much I express my love for you. I’m giving you a – digital copy of my love. It’s – it’s a gift from me to you.

Steve: …Did you forget my birthday?

Eddie: It’s your birthday?!

End of stream.

<- Last Post | Next Post ->

[alovesongtheywrote]

holy crap girl… nightmare academia, i just wanna smush them into a locked room together AHHHHH

♥ Summary: oh man, you're not the only one. in this chapter of nightmare academia, morgan and garcia hijack a prank. [Prof!Spencer Reid x GN-Prof!Reader]

♥ Warnings: none?

♥ A/N: careful babes, the plot's getting closer

♥ Word Count: 1402

Series Masterlist

♥♥♥

“BABY GIRL, YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS!” Morgan exclaimed as he burst into Garcia’s Batcave.  He probably wasn’t loud enough to warrant all-caps, but he was definitely excited enough to warrant all-caps, and that’s why Garcia spun around in her chair, preemptive excitement building up inside of her.

“What is it?  Is someone dead?  Is someone pregnant?  Are you pregnant?  Am I gonna be a god-mom?  Again?”

“What?  No.  Guess who I just got off the phone with.”

“Savannah?  JJ?  Hotch?  Blake?  Reid?”

“Well, it's none of those, but you’re close enough with that last one, so I’m just gonna give it to you,” Morgan leaned in, showing Penelope his phone screen as she clapped her hands together in excitement.  Your name was the first one in the call log.

Garcia’s perfectly glossed lips popped open, “Is that-!?  Is that Spencer’s-!?”

“And are they-!?”

“They are just as perfect for him as we suspected, if not more.”

“Wh- well, why did they call, what did they want?”

“Well, first, they wanted information on the rabies case, which I thought was weird until-”

Penelope cut him off with a gasp, “He’s using horrific case facts to keep them at a distance!”

“Something like that?  Apparently, he’s using horrific case facts for quote-unquote, vengeance. The lovebirds aren't as romantic as we thought.”

"Is it a case of enemies to lovers?"

Morgan paused, raising an eyebrow, "I'm gonna need you to elaborate, baby girl."

"You know! Enemies to lovers! The romantic trope where they go from bitter enemies to the most adorable of spouses! Oh, that is right out of a rom-com!”

"Whatever you say, doll," Morgan continued, “But I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of rom-coms that involve rabies in any capacity."

"That's because you haven't seen enough of them. Anyway, tell me more about the call! What happened next!"

"Well, initially, they told me they were a criminal justice student, but they made the mistake of using their real name.”

“What did you do!?”

“I played along with it until I asked them where they’d heard about the case- they folded fast, but I assured them that when it comes to Reid, I am the prank master.”

Garcia kept a smile on her face, even though she knew her friend was technically wrong, “I mean… technically you’re not.  He beat you with that screaming thing, on the plane.  Remember?”

“Oh yes, I remember.  I also remember that you had a lil’ something to do with that, which means, Reid cheated and I am the prank master.”

“Well, technically I am the prank mistress- but whatever, it’s all digressions, what happened next?”

“Well, I volunteered to be a part of their next prank.”

“Which is?”

“Stealing all of pretty boy’s mugs and rigging the cabinet they’re stored in to scream at him every time it opens.”

“Ah, so this is revenge for both of you.”

“Perhaps,” Morgan’s smile betrayed the truth.

“I love it.  There’s just one thing- Morgan, my lovely, do you have the technical knowledge to make that happen?”

“Well, I’ve definitely got the physical knowledge.  Cabinets are easy, the mechanical parts are all in the bag- but we do need a little assistance from you.”

“From moi?” Penelope gasped, though it sounded like she had been expecting this outcome.  Mostly because she had.

“We need a little bit of programming work that the genius won’t see coming.  So, are you in?” 

“Now that, gorgeous, sounds like a conspiracy.  I’m in.”

Garcia spun in her chair, turning back to face her monitor before immediately turning back to face Morgan, “For the record, we will be sabotaging this plan so that it backfires on both of them and makes them fall in love, oui?”

“Baby girl, would I have come to you if that wasn’t the plan?”

“You would not, and that is precisely why I love you.”

-

You did your best not to sing the Mission Impossible theme as you carried out your part of the prank.  You failed.  The theme just came out of you as you took the mugs two by two from Reid’s office and into yours.  

Once you’d stolen Reid’s horde of mugs, you set the trap in place.  You had to be incredibly careful.  Derek Morgan’s instructions had been very specific, and you followed them to the letter.  While you wouldn’t usually work with the FBI, this was a special case.  This was necessary.

And lord, was your little mechanism a beautiful one.  You gave it a quick test, closing the cabinet door before swinging it open again- once the dulcet sounds of screaming met your ears, you slammed it shut again.

You’d done so just in time.  

“Professor (L/N), I’m not sure if you’re aware, but this isn’t your office.”

“I’m not aware of anything, Reid- I mean, we’ve been over this, honey, I’m fucking stupid.  Y’know, I’m starting to worry about that eidetic memory of yours.”

“Don’t,” he stepped into the office, standing with you behind the desk, “It’s none of your concern.”

The two of you stood there for a moment, close enough that you could almost feel his breath across your lips.  If you wanted to, you could reach out and touch his chest- you could fuck with his perpetually crooked tie, but god, why would you?

It was clear that he was waiting for you to move.  When you actually did move out of his way, it shocked him.

He kept his eyes on you, watching wearily as you wandered through the small box of his office.  You examined every book and every doctorate the room had to offer- and he never stopped looking.  He expected you to say something, do something, or hurt him superficially with a mean comment or a dumb prank, but you didn’t do anything.

With his focus still on you, Reid opened the mug cabinet.

Screams filled the room.  Spencer jumped back, smacking into one of his bookshelves before sliding halfway down the wall.  He took several books down with him, knocking them to the ground as his slender fingers grasped helplessly for purchase somewhere.  

Your laughter echoed in his ears, a grating, awful, beautiful sound mixed in with the clatter of falling objects.  He could feel his heart pounding in his chest.  Adrenaline filled each and every one of his limbs.

He was going to kill you for this.  

“(L/N)!” he yelled out your name, struggling to pull himself up from his half-bent position.  You’d never heard him sound so angry- and you couldn’t stop laughing.

“Are you-” you wheezed, “Are you okay?”

“No!  Come here and help me up!”

There he was- his voice took on a higher pitch, signalling his indignation.  You walked over, offering him a hand up.  Of course, he immediately pulled you down to his level.  You both collapsed to the floor, you with a screech and Reid with a triumphant cry.  

He sat against the bookshelf, a little dishevelled but overall okay.  You just gave up, lying on the floor with your head inches from Reid’s thigh.  The mechanism in the cabinet kept screaming in the background.

“So, how’d you pull this one off?” Spencer asked, speaking over your laughter.

“Made a couple of calls.  Got in touch with the FBI.  I’d tell you more, but I’d have to kill you.”

"Wow, you contacted the FBI about me? I must really bother you, doctor."

"Not in the slightest. You're a minor nuisance at best."

“I'm sure. So, did Morgan help you with this?  Did Garcia?”

“Maybe both of them. Maybe a little bit.”

Spencer sighed, “You are all terrible.”

“I wish I could say I was sorry.”

The two of you stayed there on the ground for a moment, just listening to the sound of screaming.  Then, the sound changed- smooth saxophone emanated from the cabinet.  You recognized that melody.  Was that?  No, it couldn’t be-

“Is that Careless Whisper?”

You and Reid stayed frozen on the floor.  The voice of George Michael spilled over you, barely covering the awkward silence.  Eventually, you sat up and shut the cabinet.  The song didn’t stop.  You bit your lip, and when you spoke again it was through clenched teeth.

“Do- do your friends want us to fuck?”

“I hate to say it, but… I think they do,” he paused for a moment, “Hey, (L/N)?  Where are my mugs?”

♥ Tags: @icarusignite, @usuallyunlikelyfox, @maraudersforlife2005, @fictionalcomforts

[izvmimi]

scenario!

unfortunately you and your f/o are not together in this lifetime, they are married 😞. however! both of you have decided to cheat! you are seeing them exclusively now.

ethics aside, the two of you have an okay emotional and sexual relationship although your fave’s spouse does not know about you.

months pass then suddenly, it seems like your relationship is beginning to peter out. you figure they might have reconciled with their partner, but upon further investigation, you realize there’s another person they’re seeing during the day and you’re pretty sure neither you nor your f/o’s spouse was intended to know.

[faux-ecrivain]

1950s househusband|Part 1

(Tenth official post)

(Name is Angelo)

(I’m going to try a new approach to this post, tell me how you like it.)

(Also, this character does dress in a feminine manner and here are some links for what I looked at to get inspiration. Explore 1950s Women’s Dresses and Discover Fashion Trends of the Era. And 1950s Fashions - Shoes )

Angelo wouldn’t say his marriage is perfect, because no marriage is perfect, but he went out of his way to make his marriage appear perfect. Which often meant adhering to his spouse’s desire and his spouse has very specific desires, one such desire would be that Angelo must always be dressed as a 1950s housewife (which didn’t really bother him, because women in the 1950s were beautiful, and he liked being beautiful). Another such desire was that he wasn’t to ever go against his spouse’s desires and that he has to behave like the perfect little househusband.

     Now, normally this wasn’t a problem, but his spouse has rather high standards and he finds it difficult to meet all their standards. Of course, his spouse is a forgiving being and, despite the (mental and physical) harm that they may cause him, he knew that his spouse loved him. Although, He often thinks that his spouse should be somewhat more grateful for the meals he cooks and the time he dedicates to keeping the house together, and keeping his appearance neat. (He would very much like to hear at least one thank you or one compliment from them.) But he keeps a positive mindset and a smile on his painted lips (which his spouse so loves). 

     However, his positivity begins to waver the longer his spouse remains ignorant of his desire to be thanked, to be love sand worshipped. He can’t help but be frustrated by his spouse’s cold mentality, he hates the way his spouse refrains from affection and refuses to praise him. It irritates him so and one particular night it irritates him a lot. 

    His spouse had been coming home late recently, smelling of parfumé and with a much to gleeful smile on their face. Angelo knows they’re cheating on him, he’s seen this before and he knows exactly how to deal with it. But his plan is halted when someone new joins the neighborhood, he feels a bit excited when he sees an old corvette pull into the old house across the street. He knows it’s late and that this new neighbor is probably tired, but it’s been so long since he’s seen someone new, and he’s tired of being stuck in the house. So, he decides to slip into something eye catching, just to make a good impression. He got out of his pajamas and slipped on the necessary undergarments before putting on a petticoat, a 1950s pin up dress (one of his favorite, and his spouse’s least favorite, dresses), some stockings (of course) and some 1950s stilettos (just to catch your eye, besides it doesn’t hurt to look good).

     Angelo made sure his makeup was pristine and that his hair was perfect, then he hopped downstairs and put on a coat, some gloves and then began to head over to your house. Although, he pauses and doubles back to grab you a house warming gift (luckily he had baked some cookies earlier today) and then marching across the street. He knocked on your door and straightened the skirt of his dress, he hopes you won’t mind such a late visit. He hears scuffles from your house and can’t help the stunned expression that graces his face when you open the door. Why, he’s never seen such a gorgeous human before!  

(This is just part one, I just want to upload this so I don’t have to worry about posting it tomorrow.)

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Imagine if Dean and Sam had a 16 year old sister??

like, she lives with her mother and stepfather, and the boys find out and go to her house

I think the reason they would seek her out would have to be because she was in danger, because they wouldn’t want to meet her just to put her in danger (especially not after they kinda got Adam killed)

They’d start out with the connection to John Winchester to gain trust. They’re talking to her mother about how they’re John’s sons, and this kid who was eavesdropping just comes in and—

“You’re my brothers?”

And Sam is just like, “Yeah, I…I guess we are. I’m Sam, and this is my big brother Dean.”

And they’d go through the whole monsters speech, then tell their little sister and her family to leave for a while so they can take care of the problem (let’s be real, it would be demons). The family leaves, but what no one knows is that the little sister tricked her family and didn’t go with them.

She hides out in the house, and Sam and Dean don’t even know until they’ve already started to lure the demons to the house. She helps them take out the demons and at the end of it all she asks to go with them.

“Absolutely not!” Is dean’s response, but Sam is confused.

“What about your family?”

“Family?” She scoffs. “I just live with them, you could hardly call them family. They don’t even care that I didn’t go with them. They’re probably hoping I get killed by demons so they don’t have to keep me around anymore.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Dean argues.

“Oh, you’re sure? And what do you about my so called family? Nothing. You don’t know about how my mom was married when she slept with your dad, or how ashamed she was to find out that her husband wasn’t the father. You don’t know how much my stepdad hates me because of that. You don’t know about the only reason they kept me—because the only thing worse than cheating on your spouse in this gossip town, is abandoning a baby. So don’t be so sure, Dean. You haven’t lived my life.”

“And you haven’t lived mine,” Dean argues. “It’s dangerous.”

“I’ll take dangerous,” she says. “I’ll take dangerous with my two big brothers over this sorry excuse for a family any day.”

“You barely even know us,” Sam says.

“I know enough. You guys are good, I can tell. You guys care about people. They don’t do that here. So let me come with you.”

And they don’t argue anymore. Not even when the kid climbs into the back of the Impala with a duffel in her hands.

[shaunamilfman]

I have some thoughts of Jealous JackieShauna w reader,

Before Dating

- After you’ve hung out with a potential s/o or just a friend that she’s jealous of Jackie will always confront you like a cheating spouse, like getting into petty non arguments “Where were you? Why were you w her you know I don’t like her. No I just want to spend time with you, you’re one of my best friends and they’re stealing you from me.”

- If you even MENTION the person, Shauna gives you the silent treatment, she is secretly SEETHING and you keep trying to engage in conversation but she just gives you nothing or walks away and you’re left wondering what you did to upset her.

- Jackie is absolutely guilty of calling you and faking that there’s an emergency she needs your help with to get you to cancel a date with this person. Which of course you fall for every time.

- Shauna 100% gives this person the dirtiest looks, if looks could kill this poor random would be dead and buried on sight.

After You Start Dating:

- Jackie is not afraid to act first and ask questions later but she will mask it with politeness, if she sees someone getting too close to you during a party or just anything she doesn’t particularly like, she’ll walk right over, throw her arms around you, plant a huge kiss on your lips, then turn to the other person “Oh my god babe, who’s this? Who? Oh I don’t think I’ve ever heard of you before, hmm.” Then she just stands there with you until the other person gets too uncomfortable and leaves. She will be clingy the entire rest of the night.

- Same situation with Shauna and she does not give a shit, She will unabashedly grab your arm, tug you away from the person and move your hand to her waist as you walk away to hit it home. She’ll tell you that you’re leaving though so she can make sure that people will know you’re taken.

-Jackie is the type of gf that if you unknowingly upset her and then drive her home she keeps her knees as far away from your side of the car as possible, do you know what I mean? Like turning her body away from you as much as she can. She’ll be pouty, arms crossed and will not look at you at all.

- Shauna will make a move on you in the car, climbing into your lap and in a way silently seeking validation that you still want her. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you or anything, she just has a couple insecurities and she likes having you show her she’s the one you want/hearing you say it.

- Jackie will no doubt have to try to convince Shauna not to slap the random person talking to you. If you get in trouble with both of them in the same night, you’re basically escorted through the rest of the party by both of them at your side.

these may not be great cause it’s pushing 3 am for me but have at it! Hope you had a great weekend milfman, drink water today and take care of yourself cause you deserve it :)

yes!! let's go! more soffsh headcanons boyssssss.

you come home and jackie's sitting in your room on your bed with her legs crossed and her arms in her lap like "do you have any idea what time it is, Y/N?" she enlisted shauna but Shauna's fast asleep on the bed behind her

Jackie watches your social media following like a hawk. she goes on a day long spiral whenever someone hot follows you

love love love ridiculously possessive shauna. her and her "you know other women??" ass has me captivated completely lmao

Jackie would fake an emergency omg her dramatic ass

you try to talk to the other girl at school after your date and she just squeaks in fear and runs away from you. Jackie comforting you over it while shauna stands guard protectively in front of you so no one sees you upset??

Jackie sees you talking to another woman and just immediately throws herself in your lap. talking bout "omg your so strong y/n do you work out??" as she's feeling up your arms and shit. you were talking to your cousin lmaoooo. Jackie can never be too careful though

shauna just silently showing up, kissing you in front of them, and dragging you back to her and Jackie??

Jackie still hangs out with you when she's upset because she wants you to know she's ignoring you on purpose and is expecting you to grovel for her forgiveness/attention

shauna dragging you in the backseat to possessively climb in your lap while Jackie climbs in the car on your other side to watch yall. going feral over the idea of Jackie just watching shauna ride you in the backseat and whispering jealous little comments about that girl in your ear.

ugh jackieshauna escorting me through the party like a misbehaving child when?? im so convinced that half of dating Shauna is convincing her not to go to jail over something miniscule.

thanks anon! hope you had a good weekend too ❤️

[gabessquishytum]

I saw another prompt on here about Dream cheating, and honestly? Yeah!! Give that morally questionable man a morally questionable situation.

So old money families tend to marry new money families mostly bc the money has run dry for them, and new money wants the prestige of the older more established families have. Burgess is one of these odious new money men. Stupid and cruel, he wants the prestige of the old aristocracy. Not that marrying Dream will lead to any real power, but the respect behind the Endless name is well endless even if their wallet isn't. A perfect situation for him to waltz right in and buy a bride for his son.

Who should have been Death, but Mother Endless was insistent that the heir and spare chose their own spouses. So poor Dream was the one chosen to be miserable.

He hates Alex with a burning passion, and Alex isn't too keen to keep his mouth shut about his new husband's attitude either. They fuck occasionally when Dream deigns to waste his precious time with Alex's modest three inches, but it's not enough.

He meets Hob at one of Roderick's parties. The one where he publicly pushed his husband away and told him to go chase some other skirt. The one where Alex was found in the arms of Roderick's gardener. Not that Dream cares if it keeps Alex from touching him, but he has to keep appearances up and has a row with him in front of everyone.

Hob sees all of this go down and cuddles up to Dream. He gives Dream drinks and they talk the night away about various topics from history to art to what the fuck Dream is doing here with Alex. He plys Dream with drinks and sweet words. None of which he really needs to convince him to follow the other man home and get his back blown out. They fuck all night and he sends Dream home full of his cum and minus his underwear. His outfit torn in several places and missing some of the bedazzled embellishments.

Alex wants to say he doesn't care. That Dream can have as many affairs as he wants bc that means he can do the same. And maybe at first, he believes that. But watching his husband come home cum drunk and completely in love with someone who isn't himself? It would make any man crazy. Maybe crazy enough to lock Dream in a room and brick it off, just so he's never made into a cuck again.

- 🤜 Anon

Ooo yeah. Maybe that first night Hob is just having some fun - he likes humiliating these aristocratic types who think they’re better than him. He likes the idea of seducing Dream and spoiling his honour. But after that one night, Hob is genuinely addicted. He wants to be Dream’s regular lover, wants to treat him so good and then send him back to his ridiculous little husband. He marks Dream all over and makes sure that he stinks of sex. He even gets a tattoo on his forearm to show how deep he’s had his hand inside Dream’s pretty little body. He moves in the same circles as Alex and Dream regularly, so the rumours swirl and Alex gets more and more frustrated as Dream flaunts his affair with Hob everywhere. He won’t even let Alex touch him, these days. And ok, maybe Alex is doing exactly the same thing with Paul, but he doesn’t flaunt it to the whole world!

So, he makes sure that Dream can’t humiliate him any more.

When Hob comes around looking for Dream after only 36 hours, Alex feigns ignorance: “he left, I thought he was with you”. Hob doesn’t believe a word of it, he can sniff out a lie from a mile off. Alex threatens to call the police if Hob doesn’t leave, so he goes. He calls Dream’s family and small circle of friends. Eventually he calls the police and reports Dream missing. But after a week, he still hasn’t turned up. Alex gives the same old story, and Dream’s infidelity was well known enough that it’s believable that he would just run off without telling anyone.

Hob isn’t taking the bullshit any longer. He shows up at the house again and shoulders his way in, punches Alex out with one right hook. He finds Paul, who won’t look Hob in the eye and keeps looking like he wants to run. Eventually he murmurs that Hob should check upstairs.

There are a bunch of bedrooms in the mansion, and it’s pretty clear that only one of the doors has been recently plastered over. Hob kicks and finds bricks underneath, and he’s fucking horrified. Surely Alex hasn’t left Dream in there to starve?

He hasn’t, but it’s almost that bad. There’s a small grating in the room next door, through which Alex and Paul have been passing food and water. They’ve left Dream inside with no clothes, no bed, no stimulation. By the time Hob gets to him he’s literally blue, shaking in the corner, unable to speak. Hob carries him out and refuses to let go until the paramedics turn up and get him hooked up.

The haunted look doesn’t leave Dream’s eyes until his divorce comes through. When Alex gets 15 years in prison, Hob promises Dream that he’ll kill him the second he steps out of the jail. That’s the first time that Dream manages a wobbly smile.

Hob and Dream have their wedding dance on Alex’s grave. Maybe it’s a bit over the top but it feels appropriate to prove that he always was, and always will be, a loser.

[what-even-is-thiss]

how do tarot cards work?

Tarot cards were originally a type of playing cards but over the decades and centuries they’ve become more associated with fortune telling. But. Also a lot of people like me who don’t believe in fortune telling still use them as a sort of tool to think through personal problems from a different angle.

The way it works is there are 22 major arcana consisting of various symbols. The most famous ones are generally the magician, the death, the hanged man, the tower, and the wheel of fortune.

The minor arcana are structured more like traditional playing cards. The symbols are wands, swords, cups, and pentangles, each category having 14 cards ace through 10 and page, Queen, knight, and king. Each symbol is also associated with a traditional element. Wands with fire, cups with water, swords with air, and pentacles with earth.

Each individual card has a traditional meaning associated with it and a mirrored different meaning when the card is pulled upside down, called the reverse reading. A lot of tarot decks come with cheat sheets/little booklets giving summaries of the traditional meanings. You can also buy books that go more in depth if you want but it’s usually pretty simple.

For example, the magician is associated with making things happen, manifesting goals into realities, and noticing opportunities. If you pull him the right way up you might think where you need to be paying more attention in your life, think about how far your own creativity has gotten you, etc. If someone is reading the cards for you they might make a vague prediction based on what you’re asking about or guide you through your thinking process on it. Most tarot readings for fortune telling just use personality test logic and say things that probably most people are thinking about at most times. Everyone worries about money, everyone is tired, most ppl are bad at talking to their spouse, etc.

There’s a lot of different possible ways to read tarot cards but the most iconic and simplest is the three card layout. The first card has to do with your past, the middle your present, the third your future.

I just find tarot cards to be fun. Some people take them really seriously. I don’t. I just think they’re neat. If you wanna get started it’s a really low bar for entry. There’s a lot of really cool decks out there with really cool designs. Just get the one you like. I personally use a version of the Rider tarot deck which is the most common traditional design used in North America. The most popular in Europe is generally Tarot of Marseilles whose labels are in French.

[heartfullofleeches]

Can you please tell us a bit more about the Director of the Night Gallery? You’ve been teasing us for MONTHS and we still know next to nothing about them. I think it’s about time they’re properly introduced, don’t you?

[Another anon: Well now I really want to know about the Director and his games]

The clock chimes seven times.

Not the one on the wall, but the one in the chest and heart of the wooden mannequin standing beside that man. The clock overhead tells a different time than what was told. 7:05. Five minutes after your shift ends.

"You cheated."

The Director clicks his tongue. "Now, Y/n- I only did what I had to. It's rather impolite that the others get a goodbye and I don't. Come now, we really shouldn't waste our time. You know the rules."

You bang on the exit doors. They budge with each slam of your fist, but remain in place no matter what you try. You grit your teeth. "Let. Me. Out. This isn't fair- It isn't right. You played dirty."

"It isn't my fault you became dependent on our friend here to tell you the time. Speaking of which, you are excused, Soleil."

The clock's gears softly tick. Their face hides their emotions, but by the way they avoid your eyes it's easy to tell what they feel.

"I... don't want to leave them."

The Director taps his cane against the hard floor.

"5....."

He doesn't need a second strike as Soleil turns and quickly walks away. He exhales, bright persona resurfacing.

"Now, I personally don't mind your stalling, but I love our little games and would hate for you to lose your freedom so soon. If your little fit is over, we must be going now."

There's no way out of this than to follow him. You learned that lesson long ago. Your shoes squeak down the halls as you drag your feet behind him. Floor 2. Floor 3. The numbers ascend as you climb the stairs. The residents of each floor are absent, having returned back to their paintings or place in the halls as per the rules. Soon enough your at the steps of the final floor, yellow tape blocking access from the outside world. The Director ducks underneath and holds the door open for you, darkness swallowing you as you enter.

There's a table and two chairs in the middle of the floor, an hourglass atop it. You know there is more, but those three objects are all you've ever seen. Three white cards accompany the glass, blank faces upwards as you both take your seats. The Director folds his hands, nodding to the cards. You've played this game with him before, but its always polite to say something first.

"Go ahead. Pick. Like always, you're allowed to choose."

You reach for a card, pausing. "How do I know you won't cheat this time?"

"As tempting as that may be, I imagine its quite hard to cheat at a game like this. Everything depends on your story telling."

You flip over the middle card, the hourglass spinning on its opposite side in tune. An invisible weight pins you to your seat as soon as the first grain falls. Ink sprawls over the milk white page in sporadic and misshapen strokes. The blots form together in a spherical shape in one corner, hovering over a rectangle with four stick lines beneath.

"What do you see?"

"I see... a clock and a chair."

The Director taps the head of his cane. "Is that all?"

You shake your head, giving him what he wants. "... A man sits in the chair. He's waiting for his spouse to come home. He's been waiting all day, and he misses them, but he knows they'll be home soon. He'll greet with them a kiss on the cheek and takes their coat, welcoming them home by settling down by the fire - whole again. And so he waits for his love, starting at the clock to past the time."

The Director sits still. The hourglass doesn't move, but the sands freeze in the middle of its slender frame. "Have I ever told you this is my favorite game? It's easy to win, but I do love your stories. I long for the day when one of them comes true. You are free to go. Best hurry."

The weight on your shoulders is lifted. You bolt from the chair and to the stairway, your first stop once your free anywhere that sells a watch.

[until-another-one-comes]

After reading a bunch of headcannons, I decided to make my own serial killer Francis AU. This goes hand in hand with my dead on the outside and inside Francis headcanon.

So serial killer Francis doesn’t kill often. Just for a long period of time before he targets his next victim. His murder weapons are inconsistent. He could either use a knife, a meat cleaver anything to get the job done. He has killed a total of 23 people so far.

Francis primary targets cheating housewives/women who lure him into their houses to have an affair while their husbands are away. He doesn’t care for them a bit. In fact, they’re a nuisance to him. This is because in my headcanon he had an abusive father who would frequently cheat on his mom. (His father was his first victim but that’s a different story). In a way, Francis is taking out his anger on his dead father by allowing himself to be swayed by those cheating housewives and kill them. He wants to punish them for their disloyalty in their own relationship. Francis had become somewhat of a misanthrope growing up. And he gets a twisted sense of euphoria of ending someone’s relationship with his own hands, with the surviving spouse grieving over their lover. The rest of his victims happen to be witnesses who walked in on the murder scene at the wrong time. It’s usually his victim’s husbands. Children aren’t an exception either.

His modus operandi is after his victims bring him into their houses, Francis will pin them down, mutilate their bodies to torture them until they die in a pool of their own blood. This Francis is a sadistic bastard in this one because he loves hearing the screams of his victims while he murders them. Afterwards Francis will kill any witnesses, clean himself up and pin the blame of a doppelgänger attack. He hasn’t been caught yet and Francis is glad he got away with it all.

There was one exception however: Nacha. At the time, she just moved into Francis’s apartment. She was unmarried but looking for love. She saw Francis one day and decided to be friendly with him. Francis however, just brushed her off as another nuisance but he can’t comprehend why Nacha was nice to someone like her. After a few more interactions, Francis gradually warmed up to Nacha a bit and they both had a fling together. But the night after their fling, Nacha began avoiding him. Francis couldn’t tell why but he felt like she disappointed him. At first, Francis planned to kill her but he slowly began to care for her but she ruined that for him after she distanced herself from him. He was *this* close to actually caring for Nacha and almost killing her because after the affair, he had feelings of love and hate towards her. He couldn’t tell which but in the end, he decided to leave her alone. Even if he had the chance to kill her, he’d be too obvious of a suspect since they’re both neighbours.

Nacha began distancing herself from Francis because she saw the red flags on him from a mile away. Francis was cold and incompatible with her, not to mention that he said very questionable things that made her wonder if the man she’s with is a psychopath. So the night after that fling, Nacha became afraid of Francis and stopped talking to him. But that’s until she found out she’s pregnant with Anastacha.

Years after Anastacha was born, Francis can get the hint that he’s her daughter. He did confront Nacha about it. After an awkward conversation, Francis decided to leave both of them alone. He did wanted to try to interact with Anastacha but Nacha wouldn’t allow her to interact with her father because she had a sneaking suspicion that he was toxic. In the end, Francis let go of any chance he had of being in his daughter’s life because he knew he’s not a good person and can’t be a good parent either.

What are your thoughts?

AH I remember you! Hello!

Your serial killer Francis reminds me of what I *thought* Francis was going to be before playing the game.

HUH, I like how you incorporate the 'milkman sleeps with married women' thing into his murder method.

This is probably why his doppel is blood-covered...

I like his backstory with Nacha in here. Its not really my thing but I do find it interesting. Wouldn't Nacha try and find another place to live considering she knows something is up with him?