#they're actually really good parents despite the fact that I get frustrated with them so I actually do respect them

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

how the HECK do I explain to my parents that I do not want bass guitar lessons from my dad, I want to teach myself from the books and videos that I have. I will literally throw away every plan I have to learn this instrument if I have to learn this way I'm not even kidding. this is why I quit guitar after two months my freshman year of high school.

[skyscratch-wc]

Daisy's Kits

These kids really had so much potential wasted-- I mean you've got two sets of kids with objectively bad fathers and a mother who isn't from Thunderclan originally and is a permaqueen. Plus, there's so much background stuff going on. Toadstep looking up to Lionblaze? Berrynose and Lion's rivalry? Mousewhisker in the Dark Forest and his possible relationship with Minnowtail? Rosepetal mentoring so so many cats? Poor Hazeltail doesn't get much love in canon unfortunately.

Anywho, here are my headcanons for these kids:

Hazeltail

Mischevious, rambunctious, and the go-getter of the older Daisy trio.

Asexual lesbian who has a big ol crush on Hollyleaf when they're kids. She eventually settles for being Mousewhisker's wing-woman

She likes to call Berrynose "Little Brother", much to his frustration

She's a really good big sister to Rosepetal and Toadstep, and supports Toad as he goes through his issues with having an absent father in Spiderleg

Mousewhisker

Hopeless romantic in a relationship with Minnowtail

He and Minnowtail agree that they don't want any kits, that would be too much drama and a lot of hassle. Instead they just enjoy being together and frequently meet down by the lake at night. Hazeltail tags along as a scout/guard in case other cats notice them

He and Hazeltail are collectively referred to as "the twins" since they are inseparable. If you see one, the other is likely nearby

He was brought to the Dark Forest because of his frustrations at the code and how it prevented him and Minnowtail from being together peacefully. Also because he felt left behind in a generation of very import warriors (the Three, Cinderheart, etc.)

Overall, he is probably the most easy-going of his siblings, especially post Dark Forest. He gives off serious stoner vibes y'know

Berrynose

angry man with a chip on his shoulder and some serious self-esteem issues around his small stature

he's a tiny kitty with a lot of anger

Berrynose is bisexual and had a crush/rivalry with Lionblaze as kids. Nevermind the fact that Lionblaze is *huge* compared to Berry and could probably just sit on him to win a fight. He got over Lionblaze and then moved on to Honeyfern and then after her death to Poppyfrost. The guy has some mild commitment issues

Has problems with Mousewhisker's half-clan relationship, but would never say so to his face

The most insecure about he and his siblings not being clanborn

He does his best to have decent relationships with his kids, Cherryfall and Molewhisker, since his father was completely absent from his life

Rosepetal

Lifelong mentor who loves teaching the teens, she would totally be a high school teacher if she were a human

Sometimes ends up as the therapist of her siblings, especially Berrynose and Toadstep.

She's the most patient of her siblings, and as a result is the closest with her angry brother, Berrynose

She doesn't really have the same issues Toadstep does with Spiderleg, she sees him as a deadbeat but doesn't really get too worked up about it. She knows he doesn't really care and therefore won't put energy into a relationship with him

She's aromantic and really has no interest in a mate or kits. She does enjoy the exploits of her siblings though

Toadstep

the youngest brother with some big self esteem issues

He has the hardest time with the fact that he has a deadbeat dad. He spends a lot of time trying to impress Spiderleg when he's younger, despite his siblings constantly telling him that it really isn't worth it.

Toad actually ends up fairly close to his grandparents, Dustpelt and Ferncloud. They become secondary parental figures after his mom and really help the kid gain his footing, especially as an apprentice and young warrior.

Toad really looks up to Lionblaze and sees him as a big brother in a lot of ways. Lionblaze originally didn't return the sentiment but over time has warmed up to Toadstep

Toad frequently gets dragged along on his older twins' (Hazeltail and Mousewhisker) adventures, much to his simultaneous irritation and amusement.

They all really love their mom and would defend Daisy from anyone who says she isn't contributing to the clan. The Twins in particular are very defensive of Daisy, saying that she teaches every young kit and supports all the mother cats of the clan. That is just as valuable as being a warrior.

[mrplantfr]

☆MR.PLANT HEADCANONS!!!♡

(TW: Mentions of religion, murder)

*Was diagnosed with ADHD/ Autism at a very young age, but it took a really long while since he had to constantly write stuff in pen instead of talking.

*Has hated pens since he first learned to write because his shaky hands write terribly in pen.

*Despite not being able to talk, he can laugh, scream, and hum. He really likes stimming by laughing because it feels like the one chance he gets to sort of talk. (That felt really sad-)

*Grew up in a Christian household, and even though he isn't religious now, when he's really scared he'll pray just in case. (I'm really sorry if that came off as disrespectful or anything, please let me know if it did I'm not Christian so I wouldn't know that well)

*Has really noticeable eye bags due to his lack of sleep, when he was a teen he used to put some of his mom's makeup on that specific part to cover it up but stopped after he got bullied for it.

*He was definitely a mama's boy and still is, he visits her weekly to take care of her and Emails her often to talk with her.

*Is a workaholic to a dangerous level but can never keep a job as he always murders someone in the end.

*His special interest is knifes, he has a lot for cooking and eating, along with to kill people. He always looks for new ones whenever he can, like a kid in a candy store but he limits himself to only buy 2 at a time. He also looks up facts and articles about them a lot, it feels very comforting to him.

*Speaking of knifes, he cooks really well! Ask him to make anything and he'll be amazing at it to a whole new level. He has at least 2 cabinets filled to the brim with spices and herbs and tea packets. Whenever Argos comes over he likes to bake some new treat he learned how to bake and insist he tries it. (They're usually French or Italian)

*He has a Funk Pop Keychain he got in High School of Deadpool and pirated all the movies with it and read all the comics as a kid. He knows the second one word- for- word and summarizes the movies and stuff when he's bored.

*He has very good hygiene to an impressive level, and he still has one of those hand sanitizer rubber things from a few years back. He has a weird habit of carrying around tooth picks despite not being able to open his mouth.

*He'll grab onto Argos' hand and just start squeezing it out of nowhere. Don't ask why, not even he knows. Not like he could answer anyway.

*He watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force as a kid (if ykyk) and his favorite was always Master Shake because of his voice and risky humor.

*When he uses a computer he always minimalizes tabs, never keeping an unnecessary one open because he gets really frustrated at computer lag. He also plays music on one tab when he wears headphones. And his favorite game to play on it is Yandere Simulator because he likes to make all the characters really upset at his answers. (Took inspo from Ashur Ghravi there)

*He always picks at his fingers when he gets stressed. He tried a picky pad but he hated the noise the beads made and the texture of the silicone so he threw it away along with his other failed attempts at stopping the habit. He gets really insecure when people talk about his hands, he always thought they were too boney and cold for anyone including himself to like them. (He cries when they leave him alone after)

*When talking music his favorite artists are John Leher, Lady Gaga, Michael Jackson, and Lemon Demon. (Don't tell him he has to pick just one.) He really likes music from the 70s - 90s music, old- times music always brings him nostalgia from his parents and grandparents playing it when he was little, it brings back memories to playing around in the summer heat and relaxing at home.

*He enjoys dressing simple a lot because it feels like he doesn't have to worry about dressing himself too much. But he ADORES looking at really stylized outfits, the more complicated the better! He watches Rupaul's Drag Race so he can judge the outfits along with the actual judges (But who doesn't???)

*He's grown really good at slow dancing over the years. But he always waits for someone (Argos) to ask if he wants to dance because he doesn't want to seem like he's showing off. But when I tell you he feels like a brand new person, swaying along with the music, taking in every word and step and tap while he dances, I mean he feels like he could become the next background dancer for Mitski. And he feels so proud of himself for that!

*Hes definitely a salty over sweet kinda guy, with sugar he can only take so much of it before he has to be excused. Yk? Thats why him and Argos always go to the same place, because he feels like when he knows what he can get each time he can prepare himself more for what he will eat. (In other words, safe food) And when I tell you he gets picky about food, I don't mean he only eats a handful of things and refuses anything else. No. I mean he's a.. Selective eater. Like, he loves trying new foods and he's willing to try anything. But for example, let's say that he hates mustard (same) and you give him something with mustard. Now, he will eat it and be nice about it, but that doesn't mean he'll enjoy eating it. Got what I'm tryna say? Okay.

*He loves watching old black & white films to try and decipher their 1900s talk to now. He often has to pause the movie to look up what certain words mean, but usually he knows what they're saying and he just laughs along about it.

(WRITER TALKING) Okay, so, thanks for reading this!!! I really hope you liked it! :0 I adore TWOMP so much its ridiculous, but I obviously have a favorite. Mr.Plant is honestly the most relatable character I've ever seen in my life, everything about him makes me go "HE'S SO ME!!!!!" if I'm honest. Anyway, I hope you liked it. Bye. :3

[sparklecareforrealjustice]

hey mods, whats the ship that you most hate or dislike? caroom, hemeruni, what ships?

I am stuck between two choices, the first is rather obvious. Carroom is a ship that is abuser x abuser and the entirety of kisswas "I loved him too" reveal came from the depths of Tartarus as it was new showed nor even implied once, in fact quite the opposite was implied before so It is completely an enigma where this ship came from and even more a mystery why KC though they would be a good pair. The second choice though is a bit more, controversial and much less obvious though. That being Barruni, allow me to explain. Uni has shown on multiple occasions that she does not respect Barry's boundaries about magic and even actively seems to intentionally use magic in front of him on occasions despite knowing that he dislikes her use of it, Uni has gotten away with far too much for me to believe that Barry would still actively engage in a proper relationship with her after all of this. I also fear that after all of this, KC wont even know how to do Barruni that well without horribly mischaracterizing them on both ends in a way that leaves all of their previous personality traits behind and just makes them previous husks of their former self. Thank you for the ask anon. - Mod Sunny

carroom. there's a post explaining why i hate it so much. abuser x abuser trope? fucking disgusting. plus, it's shitty writing of a cliche that doesn't even make proper sense to me. -🚬

personally, i don't have one ship i hate. it's a whole genre of ships - anything with side characters in it. on the wayback machine, on the faq for the site, we're told some of the official ships are kills x shortnick, jean x orange, and caroline x kiki. but (obviously except for caroline), what do we know about these characters in order to ship them? we know maybe a sentence or two worth's of information about them! that's not enough!!! even with the more popular small ships that are also canon: mood x rem, pinata x funfetti, mel x cyn, jay x caroline... we get scraps of interaction and ship moments in the comic, if anything at all (seriously, jay x caroline? where is that coming from? they're two major characters but there's still nothing!) i wish characters were elaborated on more before they're shipped, which is also why i don't understand any ships with the chunklings. they've been here a while but we don't know anything about them. and yes, before anyone asks, this does apply to polly as well. they're a major comet parent, and yet... there's nothing actually there. -mod polly 🧊

personally i agree with mod sunny with carroom tho i dont have much else to commentate as the shipping discourse doesnt interest me too much as i feel more frustration at the handling of some characters sexualities and romantic preferences - uni

Carroom. It's just romanticized Stockholm syndrome and I fucking HATE that kc seems to romanticize the worst shit ever. -🧪

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT ELSE TO ADD THAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS ALREADY SAID BUT IT'S CARROOM. WE ALL HATE CARROOM IN THIS HOUSE. -🐁🩸

I wouldn’t mention Hemeruni if I were you- BESIDES that! Uh.. Camera is probably going to be my pick, mostly because it just… doesn’t make sense to me! My brain ain’t big, but I know a weird ship when I see one! Of course time is still involved with deciding those factors… but right now? Camera is a no go. -mod hemmy

[skaylanphear]

The Marauders

Summary: Heading to Hogwarts for the first time, Remus tries not to let his worries get him down. He has a lot on his plate—truths he can’t share with anyone—and none of it is helped by the bullies constantly casting jinxes and calling him nasty names. Despite it all, though, he has his three best friends—the first friends he’s ever made, in fact.

Yet, it doesn’t take long for Sirius to start getting suspicious, questioning what strange sickness could be keeping Remus in the hospital wing for days at a time. Ever nosy, Sirius takes it upon himself to unravel the mystery that is Remus Lupin, unaware of the tortured consequences that come with knowing such an intimate secret.

A story about the Marauders as they navigate their school years and set off into adulthood.

Year One: The Marauders and the Shrieking Shack - Chapters 1-25 Summer 1972 - Chapters 26 - 34 Year Two: The Marauders and the Counting Curse - Chapters 35 - 68

Start Reading Here

Chapter 21

Coming back from Easter Holiday really hammered home how irritating the change in attitude was to each of the boys. Despite being in the best part of the month, Remus was still exceedingly annoyed with coming back only to be treated like he was made of glass by all the older students in their house. They'd apparently decided to double-down on trying to be nice to the first years, which only reminded Remus acutely of his days in the hospital wing right after full moons—when everyone was always so careful and needlessly kind. He appreciated it during those specific times—especially from his friends—but it was maddening otherwise.

James was starting to get miffed about it too. While he certainly wasn't a people pleaser in the vein that he wanted everyone to like him, he did want people to like him for who he was, not because they thought he was a pity case. Getting attention from the other Gryffindors every time they walked into their common room or into the great hall only rubbed him the wrong way. Especially after two whole weeks at home with his parents, who knew exactly the kind of person he was, good and bad alike.

Sirius was surprisingly short-tempered about it. "It's like this big fake front!" he said. "They're all pretending! It's just like with my whole family! We know they don't actually like us!" After being locked up in the Black House for two weeks, this frustration was relatively reasonable.

Peter was mostly upset because it was continually making his friends upset. Besides, they were still getting harassed and jinxed by the Slytherins (though less than before) which, to him, meant the change wasn't drastic enough to warrant attachment. He'd rather his friends went back to normal than have other students being overly nice.

"So how are we gonna do it?" James asked near the end of April. "Spill the beans, I mean."

"I was thinking we should do it at the end-of-term feast," Remus replied, the four of them sitting around in their dormitory. They did that more and more often these days. But going out by the lake or into the courtyard had long since ceased being safe, no matter the warmth of the weather. "Announce it so everyone hears."

"And then run away," Peter added meekly.

"Oh, I have an idea," Sirius said, grinning. And so they got to planning. Thankfully, such an announcement didn't take nearly the effort their other endeavors did, so once planned, all they had to do was wait. This meant their focus returned again to their swiftly approaching exams.

Read More

[gemglyph]

Martyr: Sky's Father

TW: Child abuse, Child neglect

I'm honestly not certain that this will be touched on too much more in the story. I know I have mentioned a few things about Sky's Father, and I think it will help explain a little bit about Sky's... parental issues/authority issues. I don't remember if I tagged this stuff in the fic, or if I need to?

Let me know if I do. I'll be happy to update the tags. (I might end up doing that for chapter ten anyway so please be on the lookout)

Analysis below the Read More

Here are the times that Sky mentions his "Father"

Chapter Four: Haircut

“I use hair product to keep it down and manageable. My mom died before she could teach me and my father.. Nevermind.” Why is he saying this? He doesn’t know. At least he cuts himself short.

Chapter Six: Shred of Courage

This… Ignites an argument. That Sky simply lets happen. He doesn’t even make so much as a twitch to intervene as he blots out what the Veteran and the Rancher say to each other. Gripping his hand over his heart and squeezing his shirt. Feeling the texture and discomfort of the action. It’s like when his parents-

Chapter Seven: Apologies

“I mean- I mean you look like my father.” Frustration bubbles up and Sky looks away from the Captain. “It’s wrong to compare you to him… My father wasn’t a good man.” Not that… Warriors started out as a good man to him either. "To everyone around us I was a strange and sickly child, to my mother I was a blessing…” Sky mumbles the last part. “And to my father, I was a curse.”

We will start with.

Curse.

No. No… I'll end with Curse.

Born with the ability to See (Sights/Dreams), Sky has always been a little bit of an oddball. Talking about things kids his age shouldn't really know. Having an insane sense of intuition. Knowing things that he really shouldn't know. His Mother called them blessings, encouraged Sky in his abilities... and his Father was wary about it at first.

His Father had wanted a normal child.

Sky is not 'normal'.

Things really hit the shitshow when Sky predicted his Mother's death when he was small. It had been what Sky had thought was a nightmare. He had talked about it where his Father heard him. Sky's Mother would always defend him. She always had his back. Sky was always uncomfortable around his Father, so he would take comfort in his Mother's presence.

As predicted, his Mother got sick and she died.

When Sky's Mother died, Sky's Father truly started lashing out at Sky- despite the fact that it wasn't his kid's fault. Which partially reinforced Sky's idea that well, his Sights aren't warnings or things that he can change: They're Absolutes. They're not something he should talk about. They're not something people will believe.

Which is partially why when Wars was asking Sky if he was a "liability" it hit harder, harder than Wars had meant. Something that Sky was already self-conscious and sensitive about was being pressed on.. When he already isn't in a good mental space.

It has been mentioned a few times in Martyr, but Sky was a sickly child. His Father started outright neglecting him, despite the fact he was sickly, and would actually hit Sky if he complained or attempted talking. "Forgetting" to feed Sky or care for him at all. Refusing to help Sky when he needed it. Telling Sky that he should never talk about his Sights- least he curse everyone by speaking them into existence.

For this reason, Sky steadily gets mute the more stress he's under. Abandons conversations when he feels they're bad. Skittish around Authority Figures. The only reason he didn't outright silence himself in Chapter Nine is because he was forcing himself to speak. He was- more importantly- ‘defending’ someone who wasn’t himself.

He can’t defend himself.

If you’re wondering by now why Sky’s Father is past tense in Martyr, I unfortunately cannot tell you. Because that is between Sky’s Father’s Loftwing and Hylia. After all, Loftwings are protectors first and foremost.

To Hylia and his Mother, Sky's Sights are a blessing. His Mother died believing in him. To his Father, he was a Curse.

Demise cursed Sky.

Who would want to love a Curse?

[kitkatopinions]

Opinions on blake In general?

Blake.... Is a complicated one. XD

I love V1-5 Blake, I love her passion and her messiness and the fact that she's an abuse victim, but not a perfect uwu sad eyed one that's always sympathetic. I love that she stands up for herself and others, I love that she struggles to get close to people but is so actually caring and is just misguided due to her self-worth issues and that she learns and grows in volumes four and five and stops trying to push people away. I love that even though I wish it was explored more, we see Blake start opening up more to her team and trying to trust them before the Fall of Beacon throws things off for her again, I love that we see the actual effects of what Adam put her through, but that they never defined her and she always was strong and she always was ready to tell people when she thought they were wrong. And I even like things like her moral code which I thought made her a more interesting character, and I know it isn't popular in my circle of rwde but I even like the 'secret nearly princess' angle. Although I hate how her parents were done, Blake actually being this important person who didn't take the chance of a somewhat leisurely life and instead chose to spend her time freedom fighting for years as a homeless teenager? To me that's a good idea with bad execution. Blake being an imperfect character with so much good to her made her so interesting!

V1-5 Blake (V4-5 mostly) suffered from the writers' completely not caring about physical aggression between allies/friends/romantic prospects (like Nora hitting Ren and Qrow hitting Oz and Yang hitting Blake,) and primarily from the writers complete refusal to write the anti-faunus/racism angle well. While I don't agree with the people who say Blake's life was super great and easy and she never fought Grimm and never faced anti-faunus discrimination I do think that if they were going to portray Blake as more privileged than most of her fellow Faunus we see (having her parents safe, having a home to go back to, her parents being wealthier than most Faunus we've seen, having her able to hide her Faunus traits) then they should've addressed that. And the writers making Blake yell at her fellow Faunus that they're actually hurting themselves and that they need to help the humans who oppress them and prove that they're nice enough to not be a threat to the white people I mean the humans... It's so messed up. I get why a lot of people can't see past that. But like with Sun dismissing the White Fang as horrible jerks despite it being prior to their acts of terrorism, I try to chalk it up to 'how the writers use POC coded characters to verbalize their own horrible problematic viewpoints' and try to enjoy the characters past it.

However, Blake's next biggest problem is Blek. Around volume six, the writers drained Blake of pretty much every character trait she had. Her feisty behavior, stubbornness, protectiveness, the fact that she was a hard worker, the fact that she was active, the fact that she was more cynical, the fact that she called people out, her former relationships, her temper, her quiet humor, her more serious nature, her passion, her compassion, her justice driven nature, all of that was gone. All of what made Blake who she was as a character was stripped away, and instead there was this meek sweetheart sad eyed girl ducking her head when anyone got angry and waiting on her friends to tell her what to do and making jokes about how Weiss's family is just oh so rich and blowing off the political rally against Jacques Schnee to go out dancing. Seriously, every line out of Blake's mouth since boarding the train to Argus sounds like it was written for Velvet, not Blake. She's an entirely different person now, and although I may have liked the imposter if she was her own person, the fact that I'm meant to think it's Blake just makes me so frustrated that I can't enjoy it. I think volume 6-9 Blake actually would be really cute paired up with volume 6-9 Weiss, but then I think 'that's not Blake' and I just get mad. I catch myself thinking about directions I would take the character of volumes 6-9 Blake in, like learning how to stand up for herself, and then I just think 'Blake already STOOD UP FOR HERSELF.' I'll think something Blek does is kind of cute actually, and then it'll occur to me just how better the show would be if Blake was actually still in it.

So yeah. Volume 1-5 Blake? Has some severe writing flaws but is imo an otherwise great character with tons of potential and I love her. Volume 6-9 Blake? Blek, an imposter, Velvet in disguise or something, and I cannot enjoy anything she does because I just miss Blake!

[cosmos-dot-semicolon]

saw a post that really annoyed me but also made me have sort of a breakthrough

Another thing seasons 8 to 10 have an issue with is how the writers never manage to pick what they actually want the 'new, darker' ninjago to be. There's several elements of good plot threads in there, but the writers are still basically working off their usual formula, and ultimately they end up mashing idea several ideas that don't work.

Case in point: Harumi.

(for the record. This isn't an anti-Harumi post. This is an anti-Ninjago writer post.)

I've heard lots of praise for Harumi, sure, but none of it ever seems to be like. directed towards the character in the actual show. She's supposed to be seen as someone who was pushed to their limits for reviving Garmadon fully evil, except when Lloyd points out that she'll end up killing several other families like hers and she just says 'nah fuck them'. She's supposed to be evil, except she does legitimately donate food to the poor of the city. Her death is supposed to be a tragedy, but she's said she wanted to torment Lloyd in gruesome detail on screen after manipulating him and generally being creepy as all hell.

Most egregiously, her motivation of losing her parents is supposed to be more 'morally grey' than the other villains, but in actual fact it's just Nadakhan and Morro's backstories stitched together with edgy black thread. In actual fact, she lost her parents as a child - which is admittedly traumatic, but then she was adopted into royalty, and then proceeded to start a criminal empire.

Nobody fucking goes that far. They dismiss some of that inherent privilege by saying 'oh she had to go through a lot of training to be perfect at all times', but they don't fucking show that. You have to make that up.

In all honesty, as someone who's gone through a tough upbringing myself, season 8 put a very bad taste in my mouth of what the writers think happened to traumatised kids. All we really see is a princess with the most twisted, villain-ball idea of how to do good in the world, but who also might've been right in her own way despite that.

This frame from OSP's video on villains pretty much sums up everything I think about Harumi.

These are both quite good bases for an antagonist, but Harumi never fully gets to be either of them because the show never decides what they want to do with her. It would actually be pretty biting if she was like... an Elon Musk-like character - a rich shut-in who has actively damaging ideas of what would improve society that people believe purely out of hype - or if her resurrection of Garmadon was supposed to be his season 2 self, because he did far better for Ninjago than the rest of the team, and she was actually blinded by the fact the resurrection wouldn't work for lore reasons or whatever.

But the thing is, if you try to have both, you pretty much just have a brat. While that can also work - see Morro and Nadakhan - you have to then have their actions reflect more on your protagonists than their own sympathetic side, and also you have to make it clear that THEIR IDEAS ARE BAD AND THEY ARE BAD FOR DOING THEM. It also helps to not have so much of a focus on them versus your protagonists if they're not actively being fun - otherwise they just eat up screentime before getting killed at the end of the season.

On the flip side, if you truly want a sympathetic antagonist, you have to write them with a complexity on the same level as your protagonists. Ninjago has only had that luxury once, and the character that was with had five seasons to do so, and was carried by his voice actor and relationship to Lloyd. Harumi has half that time, half that charisma quadruple the crime list, and is put in a place where we have no reason to really want her to change for the better.

It still frustrates me to this day that people took Harumi (and by extension the trilogy) as good purely because of the presence of tropes that can be done well, but actually just rip the tone of the show in half. Admittedly a lot of us were teens entering our emo 'no longer a kid' phase but like, as someone who'd seen something similar going down in MLP at the time, it was terrible to see a lot of the fans falling for the lazy writing tricks that were being pulled here.

[...this post was actually supposed to lead onto how the OP of the annoying post misinterpreted Garmadon's changed character as good because they justified it in canon, but this has gotten long enough for now :/]

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #149

Do you like getting flowers as a gift? I do, even though I can't quite explain why, like they're just gonna die now. I think it's pure tradition which makes me like it, despite the fact I generally don't give a microscopic shit about traditions.

Who is one person you never get tired of? My boyfriend.

How different would your life be if “that one thing” didn’t happen? I'd almost certainly be married to and have kids with someone who didn't ultimately believe in me and was by this point probably extremely frustrated with me being mentally ill that he'd likely hate me. We would not be a happy couple. Who knows, maybe I never even would've gotten the mental help I needed.

What is “that one thing”? A traumatic breakup.

What’s the most desperate thing you did? god I am NOOOOOOT going there

Where was the last place you took a train to? I've never been on a train, actually.

What are your living arrangements currently? Are you happy with them? I live with my mom and our pets. Yes, I enjoy my mom's company, but both me and Girt want our own place by now, it's just not reasonable with the housing market.

Have you met your soulmate? I don't believe in those.

If your best friend wanted to cheat on their partner, you would say what? Well my best friend is my boyfriend, so we wouldn't stay together. In the hypothetical where my best friend wasn't my own partner, I'd definitely tell them to do the same, not just straight-up cheat. Let them go first.

Who do you know that gives very sound advice? Specifically Mazzy, they are fantastic at balancing realism with acknowledgment of emotions.

At what age did you start to feel like a teen and not a kid anymore? It was the exact day I started my period, which was 12 or 13, according to my mom.

What is your parents’ idea of grounding you? Taking away computer privileges.

Do you think art museums are pointless? ?????????????????????? does ANYBODY ACTUALLY think this?????????????????????

Do you care about looks when you’re looking for a romantic partner? I don't think I do, or if I do, it must have to be a case of extreme unattractiveness for me to notice. Me being attracted to someone has to be no less than at LEAST 90% about personality.

How many times have you moved? Officially four, but I've "lived" in apartments with Jason and much later Colleen temporarily.

Is Christmas stressful? It's not for me, yet, I'm sure because I'm not expected to get my loved ones stuff because I have no income. I already have to ask my fucking mom to get at least ONE thing for my s/o, because that's one I feel WAY too bad about not getting anything for, even though he doesn't care whatsoever. It's such a garbage fucking feeling. Historically I've always made/gotten people gifts I put a shitload of thought into and often a great deal of effort, so me ACTUALLY having money to buy gifts for so many people for a holiday will likely be really stressful for me. I'd likely obsess over something not being "good enough" or overspend.

Your best friend has a good or bad taste in music? Good, we like mostly the same stuff, but there are some small surprises. His music on shuffle is insane though haha, going from death metal to some goofy parody song.

What would your friends be surprised to see in your music library? The number of Melanie Martinez songs on my iPod would definitely surprise people, I genuinely like a lot of her stuff.

Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship? Yes, it's reassurance to me that you're actually interested in staying together.

Do you like public displays of affection? Only to a certain extent; I don't want to do overtly sexual things in public, but things like simple, quick kisses or calling me a petname in front of others, I do like because it shows me you're not ashamed of being with me.

Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage? For me, that's what I'd prefer. I want to see how well we operate living under the same roof until we decide to do that forever.

Do you watch mukbangs? No, I've never quite gotten the appeal. Actually I have watched people who normally do vlog-like content do mukbangs as a random thing in the past, but that's primarily because I was invested in them as people and just liked watching whatever they did, but it's been years.

How do you lose weight? What’s your favourite diet food and exercise? Gonna be full honest, historically my biggest weight loss period was from extreme undereating, like I did nothing else to cause it, and because of that I'm still dealing with it as I try to re-lose weight I gained back, but I've been at a plateau for a very long time now... which I now know is likely from how extreme my hypothyroidism is. As a teenager I lost a good deal of weight from playing WiiFit daily; I got in the best shape of my entire life with it. I have gone done a bit with physical therapy too. I haven't found a reliable - and safe - weight loss method that works for me yet as an adult...

Do you have a lot of friends? Do you have a partner? Have you ever had one? I don't have many friends, but those I do have are pretty fucking great quality. I have a boyfriend and he's my best friend literally ever.

Do you currently have any hickeys? From who? No.

Who was the last person to come to your house? Girt.

Have you ever had sex with the same gender? Totally honest I'm not really sure what the consensus is on what cis female x cis female sex is, but either way I say no.

If you’ve experienced both, is sex better with men or women? I have a feeling that sexually I'll always prefer men, but I wouldn't really know.

Have you ever been the other woman? No, I will not be somebody's second choice.

Would you ever want to be with a virgin? If no, why not? I couldn't care less. Neither of the people I've been with sexually were/are, but it wouldn't bother me at all.

Do you constantly find yourself internet stalking your ex? No, last I knew he only had Facebook and I was (rightfully) blocked, but I haven't even tried to look in a very long time. I don't look at Sara's accounts anywhere because I've learned it never, ever serves me any sort of good whatsoever so I just don't.

Are you friends with any of your exes? Not really; I don't have any bad blood with Aaron, we just haven't talked since like, the start of high school, and he deactivated his Facebook many years ago. Juan and I have recently messaged some, but I'm keeping distant and have no interest in actually pursuing friendship with him.

Do you have an addiction? To what? Internet, for sure. I've been that way since I was a kid, and it's never been fixed. I am annoyingly useless without Internet connection, like I have no idea what to do and it's seriously pathetic.

Blunts, bowls or bongs? I don't smoke, so I wouldn't know.

When you have a fight with your partner what do you do? We talk it out. We haven't had many of these at all, so I don't have a big pool of reference, but we absolutely value remaining calm (something I'm learning to be better at) and being completely upfront and honest. We put a lot of emphasis on maintaining strong communication.

Who does the grocery shopping in your house? Mom.

Are your parents still together? Hell no, I have a hard time believing they ever were lol. Dad is so like, not the person I would picture my mom falling in love with.

Have any siblings you know of but don’t actually know personally? Yes, my dad's first daughter Tiffany. Never met her in my life and know almost nothing about her; I think I've only seen a single picture of her. I love my dad but he does not get any fatherly awards, given he has nothing to do with her and very barely Misty, the daughter from his first marriage. The one time Misty came here with her kids, it was literally her who reached out to him to go to dinner and just meet his grandkids. It bothers me that it's only me and my two full-blooded sisters who seem to always matter to him.

Greatest fear? Living alone on the streets with nowhere to go.

Something most people fear that you do not fear at all? Snakes are one, I'm always stoked to see a snake.

Don’t you hate getting nice & comfy & then having to pee? UGH YES, and it sucks because I absolutely HAVE to get up and do it or else I literally cannot fall asleep.

Ever faked being pregnant? No, and these people fucking disgust me. This isn't a topic you joke about.

Ever had a major surgery performed on you? I wouldn't call either that I've had "major," no, at least I don't think so.

Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of? I mean at some point I experience all of them, but sloth is the one I'm MOST guilty of.

Do you believe in divorce? Yes, it should absolutely always be legal to leave someone if they no longer enrich your life. I VERY much do believe you should put immense thought into marriage and NEVER rush into it, and look into various possible futures with that partner and see if you still feel the same. I do definitely believe that a large percentage of people certainly don't take marriage seriously enough and never should've gotten married in the first place, but yes, divorce should always be an available option for people.

Is intelligence a turn on for you? Yes, show me that big brain papi

Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom.

Do you treat others better or worse than yourself and why? Oh, way better. I just don't like myself enough and hold myself to absurd standards I don't have for others.

When you sleep next to someone who usually falls asleep first? Oh, it has ALWAYS been the other person, with literally everyone I've ever shared a bed with. I have always had major difficulty with falling asleep; I even struggled as a kid. My brain just cannot shut off, ever.

Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for their child to outlive them? Both are fucking awful, but I definitely think it's more difficult for a parent to outlive their child; like you have kids being so sure that you're going out first, that you'll never have to be in a world without them again, but for plenty of people, it happens.

What is one selfish thing you tend to do? I HATE talking when I'm listening to music, specifically if Mom and I are in the car; I've controlled the music forever, and I have to admit that I get annoyed when she talks over it sometimes; unless she's literally attempting conversation, I don't reply to most things she says aloud; if it doesn't require my input, I'm not saying anything. I'm fully aware how bitchy that is, it's just this shitty thing about me I've never managed to correct.

What kinds of people do you find intimidating? Pushy, loud people that are entirely blunt and not afraid of hurting your feelings at all and are go go go 200% of the time.

Who is the most overbearing person you know? Our fucking landlord/family "friend," which I don't really consider her anymore.

How old was the first person you kissed? At the time we kissed, he was early into 18.

Do you plan on moving out within the next year? It'd be nice, but I'm not so sure it's gonna happen.

Have you ever slept nude? Only accidentally, just kinda Happened and I'm very grateful I stayed under the covers because this was with my teenage bf with his parents home lmfao

How many stories tall is your dream house? Honestly a dream house for me would still be one story; I don't want more rooms than we need (just more cleaning to do) and I'm not into stairs, lol.

Do you consider yourself to be promiscuous? Entirely the opposite.

Do you have any obscure pets? No, ball pythons are very common pet snakes, and the champagne morph is popular.

Do you consider yourself politically correct? I try to be, but I do sometimes worry about slipping up with a word I didn't know was even offensive.

[artificertrary]

120322 - Mid-ness

Might fuck around and use this blog for blogging.

So during my surprisingly okay Thanksgiving, I was reminded that my dad was still thinking about what I said regarding gender confirmation surgery. Though, it was kind of a mixed answer.

On one hand, I'm glad he's actually thinking about it and not immediately recoiling at the idea of me getting elective surgery to permanently change the shape of my body.

On the other, his idea is to talk to "an expert on this sort of thing" so he can get all the facts about the procedure. And the good thing is he's turning to my queer, pro-trans aunt for guidance on this to find resources.

At the same time it's a bit disappointing, I've told him he can ask me anything about this procedure, why I want it, the research I've done, but he doesn't want to go to me with those questions.

I do understand though that it's somewhat of an emotionally-charged topic, and I respect that he is recognizing that he might not be able to hear what I have to say.

Though that always feels kind of sore realizing that a parent won't listen to you no matter how might experience and research you've put in to explaining this.

It just feels like I'm being treated like a kid despite the fact that I am an adult who pays taxes and science is literally what I do for a job.

Though I am still on his health insurance so I will have to concede some things.

I think it was also not great combining with the multiple times my mom referred to me as "too sensitive" and remarked on how emotionally sensitive I was. Yet she also insisted that we have an adult relationship now?

And weirdly enough...some part of it was comforting. Being fretted over and what not. I don't always feel like I am a full adult or capable of taking care of my life...sometimes it's comforting to be treated like a kid even though it's frustrating and leads to more hurt later on.

Ugh, but at the same time, I know I am capable of living on my own and taking care of myself. It's just this script/narrative of helplessness that I feed myself that I'm too ill, too distracted, and yes, too sensitive to truly thrive on my own. And this coddling reinforces that narrative.

But I have to remind myself that my parents show care in ways I don't always recognize, and that their goal isn't to make me dependent on them. They're not masterminds, they're just people. And human interaction is messy because everyone is operating on their own assumptions and ideals.

--

But on a different note, my dad is in the hospital this weekend getting his heart tested. It's a precautionary thing because of some concerning swelling, but it still is a bit scary. I hope he's doing okay.

I don't think my dad handles his own mortality very well or the fragility of human existence. But it's not up to me to explore that with him, he really should just see a therapist. It is not my job to fix my parents, it never was.

But I do care a lot about him, I just need to care about him in like...a healthy way, a healthy amount of care. My mom is completely capable of having those conversations with my dad...at least I hope so.

[dorkousloris]

you know imma ramble about my old pkmn ocs since theres a possiblity that i might draw some content of them, but i also will not stop making a pkmn au with my polyship shhh once i get that game.

anyway, since i have revamped my ocs now that im geninuely older sgnsdgnsdg

rissa darrell (she/they), helga holtzer (she/her, doesn't mind all pronouns), rachel santos (they/them)

okay... now imma put a readmore bc im. they're ocs i had from waaaay back in 2013-2014???? so im just. its been a while since i talked about them and its probably long by the time i posted this sgmsdmg

Rissa Darrell, 27 years old, Bisexual, and uses she/they!

Rissa was born in Sinnoh and moves to Kalos when she was a teenager, and now travels with her wife.

Rissa is the daughter of two retired Pokemon Rangers, and growing up, she was gifted by her father, a fossil from Kalos-- who would later to be Tyrant, her little Tyrunt (that went on to be her longtime pokemon partner as a tyrantrum years later). She had beaten Kalos, Kantos and Hoenn Leagues the past decade.

Today, Rissa is traveling (or in her own words, tagging along) with Helga, her wife of two years, who is on her traveling journalist job and doesn't bother by it because it meant she get to explore with her wife and she dabbles in racing competitions with Tyrant, having been titled 'The Dino Rider' in the past. Better than being called a ex-champion, really. Still, it doesn't stop her to still try other leagues while she's there however!

Helga Hotlzer, 28 years old, Bisexual, and she/her but doesn't mind having all pronouns. She doesn't really care for gender.

Helga was born in Sinnoh, but after a awful incident that forces her family to go back to her mother's family region-- Galar. She had only beaten one league and that was Galar. It was... what makes her realized she's really not up to the type of battling through kind of challenges.

It had lead Helga to discover writing, and had became a journalist, specialized in places that had been happening in current news. It also lead her to Kalos where she was surprised to see her former childhood friend, Rissa. Let's just say, there was a lot of trying to be friends, finally talked about the incident and soon became proper friends.

But we all knew these two ended up together, and two years later, they're married.

Today, being a traveling journalist allows Helga to travel to regions, whenever she pleases as long as it is a current topic or whatever so. Sometimes, she do interview people. But the best part of her job? Her wife comes along with her and that's all Helga ever wanted.

Fun facts: - Rissa's original name is Lorissa. Yes, that is the OC who I have claimed "Lori" part of it, thanks to good people that made me realized I love that name more than ever. - There was a old design of Rissa that I actually want to carry over, that old design is now the design of Rissa's mom! - Rissa did had a crush on a boy, and had dated a few people in her past, before reuniting with Helga. Helga, on the other hand, just doesn't bother with relationships despite she does fancy people, but dating wasn't in her mind at that time.

Rachel Santos, 25 years old, they/them and nonbinary!

Rachel was born in Unova, and growing up, they were... expected by their parents. It frustrated Rachel to a point they almost run away, and as much as they had grow up in Castelia City, they did get lost. But what they discovered was... street dancing. That ignited a passion in Rachel to be a dancer. Long short story? Rachel got a title called 'Dancing Prince' which by the way, had lead them to realize they're nonbinary and finally embraced their androgynous appearance, and is actually more happier that way!

Today, Rachel had recently beaten Unova League, and Sinnoh League the past two years. Although they could've travel to any of the other regions to battle more leagues, they decided to actually travel for more dancing styles, as well as still battle whenever they want to. Because they're traveling, Rachel brought Petra-- their watchog is rather large for a watchog, and Howard, their long-time companion from the day she was born, and who stubbornly never evolved after evolving as a herdier-- which is probably why he have a everstone. He still battles for Rachel, however.

Fun Facts: - Before Anita (a oc of mine!), Rachel was my peak for oc design and for being relatable back in the day. So I guess, since now that I'm trans and nonbinary, I just. simply slaps Rachel to be trans and nonbinary because why not - Rachel is a lesbian, and they are very sweet but. Goodness, they're always on the move so relationships hadn't... come to their mind. Yet.

annnnd now that's all my ramblings of old pkmn OCs that i had revamped recently smdgMGMSDMG

[princess-of-the-corner]

Thoughts on how Chloes redemption arc was ruined?

Buddy I've talked on this A LOT but here we fucking GO! I'm putting this under a readmore because it's getting long!

Honestly it really just came down to TA deciding not to go through with it but not even putting in the effort to make it make sense.

Season 1 had setup, showing that she did genuinely care about people like Adrien and Sabrina. Yeah she's a jerk and doesn't seem to know /how/ to be a good friend but she cares about them.

Season 2 had more of this. And her actually apologizing and taking responsibility for things. Then we also see why she's a bitch(her mother's emotional abuse) and we do see her become a Hero for real! Someone Ladybug legitimately chooses to work with.

By Season 3, Chloé was getting better. It was taking time and she wasn't getting much help from others on /how/ to be nice other than being told to be nice, plus accidental sabotage from Mari telling her to get along with Audrey.

But there was still progress. The biggest episodes I point to are Miraculer and Startrain.

In Miraculer, she is the first person to ever fight off Hawkmoth's influence once he had actually begun speaking to her. We have had a few moments of people calming down or cheering themselves up when the Butterfly was aiming for them(both on accident and on purpose). But here Hawkmoth was already in her head and infecting her with his Magic.

Chloé was still upset and pissed and feeling ignored and neglected by her Hero. There was no one cheering her up. She just said 'no, I am a Hero, and I will not let you use me. I am not taking your power'.

Later she would go one on one with Mayura who is trying to manipulate her to the darkside, and Chlo tells her to go fuck herself. She is trying to be good and isn't going to help the villains just for little tastes of power and all that.

At the end, when told she can't be Queen Bee again because her identity was revealed, she takes that with grace and accepts it.

Next is Startrain!

Chloé was great in this. She saw a disaster and took charge, evacuating the train car and keeping people safe. She did this despite having no powers, and did what she could in the situation.

It's really just. While she wasn't perfect the rest of the episode, this is a big step. It's great.

Then we get to Miracle Queen......

There was just.

There were legitimate reasons for Chloé to be upset and venerable. Her parents were Akumatized. Hawkmoth confronted her directly and had her trapped. Ladybug seemed to have abandoned her, choosing a Hero who also should have been benched as their identity was also known to the public.

Her going along with Hawkmoth, either out of fear out out of anger, should be justified. The situation is fucked.

I would have been fine with her fighting back anyway of course. I would have been fine with her complying to save herself. Hell, I would have been fine with her lashing out because she was hurt and having a tragic fall into being worse and worse because of that.

But TA has decided that none of the context matters, she did it becuase she's 'an evil spoiled brat who can never change', despite the fact that she was changing.

Now we're in Season 4 and just.....

They're trying to emphasize the bad. Making her almost comedically worse than she was before any development. Making her do things that are incredibly ooc(like trying to get Adrien withdrawn from school despite getting him in in the first place).

They go out of their way to replace her with Zoé, emphasizing how sweet and kind and uwu she is compared to Chloé. But that's her only purpose. Literally anything she does could have been done by Chloé if they had kept where they were going. I like Zoé fine! But she only exists to fill that spot left when TA decided to take Chloé out.

And it's so wildly frustrating for so many reasons.

The biggest one I harp on is how Gabriel is still portrayed as a sympathetic person worthy of redemption with noble motives, despite being a grown adult supervillain. Even if Chloé never had any of the development in the first place, she is a 14 year old girl.

There's also the fact of how there was so much time spent on her that feels wasted. We had several episodes dedicated to her learning and growing as a person. But none of it matters. Why not take those episodes and give them to other underdeveloped characters?

Then we have the message it sends. Because there are kids out there who related to her in ways, and who want to be better people. Telling them they can't change is awful.

It's a hot mess and its frustrating every time. I sincerely hope that it eventually gets turned around, but I don't think it will happen anytime soon.

[autumnslance]

So this is late but I saw a post commenting that forgiveness=redemption (paraphrased drastically) is “INCREDIBLY culturally christian.”Today I was watching Santa Claus is coming to town where Kris says changing from bad to good is as easy as taking your first step which interests me b/c taking the first step is difficult as heck and seems impossible when you’re a little kid trying to walk for the 1st time. Pt. 1 - WoTF anon

Pt.2 So I feel as if there was potential in some sort of redemption arc regarding Gaius that we were robbed of. There was potential for Werylt quests ahhhh - WoTF anon

There was a bit of discussion about this on Twitter earlier, where I brought up again that Werlyt's a story with good base structure and ideas but poor execution.

Also Kris is saying the opposite of what he means in such a line; first steps ARE hard, that's the point. But once you start, it becomes easier to keep going once you've got your balance (and then, as any parent of toddlers can tell you, it can be hard to stop).

I rambled and ranted a bit so under the cut it goes.

And yes, so many people in the West, especially in the US, don't realize how culturally Christian they are, even if they reject all versions of "the Church" and declare themselves agnostic, another religion, or even atheist. Our culture is built around modern Christianity--I mean, many of us have a short work week due to a major holiday that, despite the old pagan origins and modern commercial trappings, also has rather strong Christian vibes.

I am definitely specifying Christian here, as not all religions are the same. And the Christian views of atonement equaling redemption and forgiveness permeate our literary tropes. So much so that people cannot comprehend of them being, in fact, separate (if related) concepts.

Nevermind how it was very much all over Stormblood (particularly the climax of 4.1 and those words to Fordola post-battle!), and in more than a few Endwalker quests as well--a person can change, and work toward making themselves and the world better, without expecting or gaining forgiveness from those they wronged in the past, who are justified in not offering forgiveness and continuing to be angry.

The change, the redemption, comes from within oneself and one's choices. Much in the same way as another important realization for Endwalker's MSQ and its prevailing themes. And how putting aside hates and fears to say "OK, things are just screwed, so let's be human and help and support each other instead" are so important.

One of the most frustrating things for me in Werlyt is how Gaius himself was too often the only one to remember he had something to learn and then atone for his wrongs, though I do appreciate he never once sought forgiveness and doesn't care to get it. Other, too late attempts to remember people are justified in anger were hamfisted in there (and Valens so doesn't count...for much of anything, really). Gaius was treated with kid gloves after we had the non-apologetic Emet-Selch as the Big Bad of 5.0. It was frustrating cuz while I liked hating Gaius as an enemy so convinced of his own righteousness and hated his return from the dead, they had started him on a fascinating path and he reminded me of Roger Zelazny's more famous novel protagonists. So I started to like him as an anti-hero and recovering true believer, having the lies of the Empire stripped away (except the way it was done also made him look incompetent and blind). Also the fascinating Shadowhunter plot went...nowhere.

It's also telling how some people will like, enjoy, or even love certain villains, but are utterly unreasonable about others, even when those characters are trying to turn around. That those fans feel like they're being "forced" to forgive them--especially when it's a fictional character. But it also speaks to that problem in current social media trends where people just aren't allowed to change, let alone be "forgiven" (by whoever they actually hurt, not just Joe Random on Twitter who took personal offense). Where someone digs up years old dirt from ancient posts to "prove" someone is "really evil" and tries to "cancel" them and the harassment and doxxing for old sins--even ones apologized and corrected for long ago!--ends up wrecking people and sending them offline. All so someone can make themselves feel "better" about "stopping abuse" when you know for damn sure they've never volunteered at a womens' shelter or at the local soup kitchens or donated to antibully funds or done anything else of actual change ever in their lives, all their interactions are through internet media and they forget the concept of real people over characters (and this applies to many aspects of fandom).

Anyway, too many people who go on negatively about offering former enemies forgiveness and a measure of mercy aren't actually paying attention to the blatant text, are seeing a Japanese based but global game from a very narrow specific Western cultural perspective, and are a little too convinced of their own self-righteousness a lot of times. And it likely made an already mediocre storyline for them so much worse, because they don't care to get themselves out of that shallow box.

[justasimplesinner]

Ok ok Eddie with a jock friend (and eventual s/o), here's what I'm thinking: High school Eddie (whatever version honestly) mouths off to some teachers or embarrasses them with his superior intellect in an insulting way and gets sent to the principal's office. Since this is a repeat offense (try seven times and counting) the punishment is more severe...but the principal says she'll lighten his detention sentence if he uses his smarts for good and enters the high school's peer tutoring program for at least a month. Cue jock who is eager to learn but maybe has a learning disability or ADHD and their course material just isn't sticking.

They come to Eddie for help and he's a bit of an ass at first but then he realizes that they're not just looking for answers; they are genuinely interested in what he has to say and wants to learn so they can do their homework on their own. He gets to know them and how intelligent they are in other ways and his little heart goes doki-doki.

this invoked violent daydreaming in me, i've gotten distracted by my own thoughts every 5 minutes while writing this

Edward with a dumb jock s/o hcs:

safe to say, this situation isn't ideal, and Eddie is not happy at all. he has to deal with idiots and brutes every day anyway, and now they're taking some of his only spare time away from them all just because he was right and his teacher was wrong? why is he constantly being punished for being right, for being smart?

he doesn't get along with his fellow peers from the program at all. some of them recognized him already and knew it was better to stay away lest they wanted to get insulted either by him or everyone else for talking to him, some of them tried to reach out but gave out pretty quickly. in highschool, Edward became way more bratty and mean. in middle school, he was still trying to fit in but he was incredibly overwhelming for other kids and also an easy target, and that really made him resent everyone around him. so getting along with the other students wasn't really an option

however, he dreaded meeting the ones he had to tutor even more. partly because he did not want to deal with some idiots that couldn't get an equation right, partly because he knew most of those idiots are going to be the same ones that always pick on him. half the football team had to be assigned to that program so they would pass their classes. sports don't always give you a get out of jail free pass apparently, and they were forced to study, which didn't sit well with them at all

and then, you came along. he didn't know if you were better or worse than the rest of the jock community that he had the displeasure of meeting. you were just so... dense. it's like you were smart but didn't even know it and couldn't quite use that to your advantage. it fucking annoyed him. incredibly so. you were frustrating beyond imagination. you were getting distracted so easily, and he had to explain the same thing over and over to you and it was driving him up the wall. why couldn't you just get it? Edward both thinks he's the smartest and that nobody will ever understand the lengths his knowledge goes to, and can't quite grasp the fact that people just can't understand something that's so blatantly obvious to him. safe to say, he would not be a good teacher

Ed is absolutely appaled by your eagerness to learn though. practically everything he says flies over your head and despite all his rambling, you still don't understand jack shit, but at the same time... you're such an avid listener. you genuinely think this peer tutoring program could help you get better. you want to get better. and as much as he doesn't want to admit, it really scores you some brownie points in his eyes. because despite everything, you at least try. you don't expect him to do your homework for you and guarantee you a good grade, you genuinely want to work for it. you expect him to explain things to you so you can do that homework yourself and you can be proud of yourself for doing something right. sometimes, he thinks he'd prefer it if you just threatened him to do your work for you because getting you to remember something is an impossible task, but he doesn't mean that

he remembers one of your first study sessions together when he just snapped and almost screamed at you that you were an idiot. to his absolute astonishment, you didn't beat his ass, you didn't even scream back. you just smiled your stupid dorky smile and laughed your stupid dorky smile, saying that he clearly wasn't in the mood so instead of studying you took him for a late lunch. a lunch. and instead of learning more about what you were supposed you, you were trying to learn more about him. best thing is, that day was the first and only time he shared any form of personal information with you and - as opposed to the Mendeleev's table - you memorized most of what he said. hell, next time you saw him, you brought him that specific chocolate he somehow admitted to liking

more and more often, you were bringing him small things, 'thank you gifts' as you called them. as if you knew you were hard to put up with sometimes, at least for him. of course, at first he took it as some sort of bribe, that you tried to worm your way into his graces so he'd do your homework for you or whatever but soon enough you made him realise that you were just genuinely being nice. he has never met someone quite like you, you were an enigma to him

soon enough, he didn't even realise he was looking forward to those study sessions with you. he was constantly lying to himself about how annoying and dense you were, and yet he started feeling more comfortable around you and talking with you freely. he started liking your stupid inquires that usually were something along the lines of "what kind of animal is the Pink Panther", even smirking at them under his nose as if he found idiocy amusing. it was both a nightmare and a blessing to have you around

he couldn't quite understand the weird feeling he got whenever you referred to him as your friend or greeted him at the corridors. or when you offered to have some study sessions at your house because you couldn't keep quiet in the school library and put all the librarians on edge. he didn't really get what was going on with him when he smiled and laughed along with you, in your messy room, as you were trying to figure out how to write a proper essay

he... liked coming to your house. it was admittedly better than the library. your parents were really warm and welcoming, weirdly supportive which he couldn't quite understand since you weren't... well, the brightest. the food was nice, too. and your room was so... you. that's the only way to describe it, what with all the little trinkets and posters and things laying around, and with some music or movies in the background. he also noticed a constantly reoccuring theme amongst your possessions and he was surprised how much knowledge you had on one or two specific subjects. your small little obsessions that you somehow learned about a lot easier than anything else

at some point, without even realising it, you two started hanging out. like, really hanging out, not just meeting up to study. you played some games and talked about random stuff, with you always inquiring about everything, which in turn made him feel like someone actually listened to him for once and rambling for hours to no end. you even tried to teach him your favourite sports, despite his protests, and he was really shocked when you didn't laugh at his general clumsiness and awkwardness when it came to physical activities. you were actually just as weirdly supportive of him as your parents were of you. he didn't see you get annoyed at him even once, and you always tried to explain to the best of your abilities how things worked in sports. show him the proper moves and stances. he didn't quite pick it up, but you two had... fun

spending so much time with you made him notice your strengths, and there were suprisingly many, not just physical (but god, you could just lift him up like a stick? like he wieghed nothing?). he started to slowly figure out your thinking process which made him use different teaching methods that suited you better and lo and behold, there was progress. nothing too crazy, but it was progress. he didn't know which one of you was more proud - you or him

you finally found a way to learn and you started getting better grades. you didn't have to sacrifice school for sports or vice versa. you were going to pass. and all those small victories made Ed realise that soon enough, you won't need him anymore. you'll be capable of learning by yourself, since now you found a good way to do it. you weren't going to meet up with him so often, instead going out with your actual friends since now you could. now you had time. and when i tell you that he almost sabotaged you both just to force you to stick with him for a little while longer-

who was going to tell him stupid jokes now? who was going to listen to him? who was going to talk to him? who was going to cuddle him on your bed and fall asleep there with him from the pure exhaustion from studying? who was going to be his golden retriever friend when you were gone? he wouldn't ever imagine he'd be so sad to get rid of a bumbling idiot in his life? you were his bumbling idiot, and he really didn't want to go back to how things were before he knew you. he didn't want to be alone again. he didn't want to stop being so happy

so let me tell you, the pure fucking relief on his face when you start telling him about how many fun things you two can do now that you don't have to study all the time and hang out more is unimaginable. you never felt him hug you so tight as in that one moment

[bardic-inspo]

🖤🍼🛌☔️? <3

Thanks for the ask! Answering for Deacon x MacCready x Natasha :D This got LONG, sorry!!

🖤— Random romantic headcanon

I haven't 100% settled on this, but I think in lieu of rings, when they do decide to get married, they do these sort of woven leather bracelet things. I picture it as three smaller leather strips interwoven with each other so as to represent the three of them. It's a little more practical and attainable than rings. I have considered that Deacon might opt to do a white-ink tattoo version instead of wearing the physical band, but I'm shaky on whether he would feel that's more or less easy to hide than the actual band if he needed to.

🍼— What are their thoughts on kids?

Ahhhh okay I actually have a TON of thoughts on this so sorry if I spew a bunch. Natasha feels robbed of being a parent with what happened with Shaun. (And no spoilers on that, but even with synth Shaun, 10 years is a lot to miss). And Deacon wanted to be a dad so bad. They share a similar sort of grief and I think they find power in being able to empathize with each other. And then they fall in love with MacCready and of course they fall in love with Duncan, too. But sometimes they do get nervous or self-sabotage. Sometimes Mac has to light a fire under them a little and I think at times he does get frustrated to be the motivator that way. Deacon/Nat get better, and find that, in addition to the whole being in love with each other part, being in a triad as parents is pretty fucking awesome so far as tag-teaming goes.

I honestly haven't decided if they canonically have another kiddo or not. Natasha spent the majority of her first/only pregnancy alone and gave birth alone, albeit with modern medicine. I think despite the fact that she knows Mac/Deacon would be there for her every step of the way, she is still emotionally scarred from that experience and also is terrified at the prospect of having an infant/giving birth in the wasteland. If something unplanned happened, she would panic initially, but would majorly come around and would love being able to have a baby with her partners and god, just to see her boys see their second kiddo for the first time? Oh, it would be tears of joy.

It absolutely wouldn't matter to them who the "bio dad" was, they're all the parents. In some parallel universe where they purposely plan to have a kid, I think MacCready might suggest they plan for Deacon to be the bio dad since he's never gotten to have a biological kiddo, but I think the consensus they would come to would be to engineer it as a mystery if you get my drift hehe. I don't find this version likely to happen but I think they would all be giddy nervous excitable horny messes about it and it's really cute to think about them that way.

🛌— What’s their pillow talk usually like?

MacCready often does gentle/playful teasing or puns. With Nat, it's lots of calling her 'Songbird' and waggly eyebrows about why. For Deacon, I think it's lots of teasing of finally getting him to relax and unwind for once, and how it's a good look for him. And then, abrupt pivots into: You think Grognak could take the Silver Shroud in a fight?! And he will happily banter/argue about whatever answer his partners respond with.

Nat gets sleepy whenever she gets too comfortable, so lots of contented/soft "hmms" and snuggles. Soft neck kisses and quiet contented sighs. Stroking her partners' hair (once Deacon gets some hehe). She's a lot more engaged in morning pillow conversations, where she tends to be flirty and very complimentary until the need for food/coffee takes precedence. Also enjoys daydreaming aloud about 'what if we stayed in bed all day'?

Deacon will often get quiet and pensive unless his partners pull him out of it. Similar to Nat, but less sleepy and probably more anxious about it. When he does talk, he usually talks about whatever book he's been reading, either to himself, or with Duncan. He'll often ask Nat to say things in Russian to help her remember it (something very important to her) or ask Mac to read a comic out loud, both of which he finds soothing. Sometimes he does stray in romantic wonderings of how they managed to find each other, or otherwise reminiscing.

☔️— What are they like when they’re emotional? How quickly do they recover?

I think that MacCready tends to recognize and believe his feelings more quickly that Nat/Deacon. So, he expresses them more intensely more often, but I think that sort of catharsis also gives him better control when he does have big feelings. He gives himself the freedom to feel them, he feels them, and then he moves on. There's of course big griefs and aches and even joys that he doesn't put behind him so easily, and those do stick with him, but I think they tend to become motiviation for him to take action as opposed to being overwhelmed by them.

Natasha holds on to big feelings like grudges. She might bury them sometimes, but she bookmarks them and digs them back up pretty often. She tries to fast-track emotional healing sometimes in a way that actually slows it down. She feels grief and anger pretty keenly and while she can keep a poker face when she needs to, those things eventually bubble up if she does so for too long. Or, she takes them out on herself in self-destructive behaviors. It takes a long, long time for her to understand she needs to give herself some grace and time to heal.

Deacon is somewhere in the middle of these two. On the outside, he's more like Nat, but better at burying. But I think he's better at burying because on the outside, he's also given so much of his life to the Railroad and has just thrown himself so hard behind the cause. That's the part of him that's like Mac, that his grief is hardened into motivation. But he doesn't let himself have grace or heal for so long because he doesn't feel he deserves it. When he does get emotional post-game, he needs a lot of reassurance from people he cares about that it's okay to feel those things, and to give himself the time he needs to feel them.

[Sent me an emoji ask about my favorite OT3]

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

I think I've grown enough now as a person that I can, maybe, sit down my parents at some point and talk about my childhood and school years. and how that time was so very fucking hard for me and looking back, yes I'm a little upset that they didn't notice.

I had friends in primary school and I'd invite them round or go round their houses frequently. Clearly I was a social child who enjoyed hanging out with other people in real space, who even liked things like going outside to exercise with friends. These are all things I did regularly in primary school, usually unsupervised.

But come high school and age 11, 12 maybe - all that stopped, cus I didn't have friends anymore. All my socialising after school stopped- or rather? moved online.

My mum used to give me such a hard time for being on my computer all the time as a teenager. Maybe it was too hard for me to explain that the reason I was sticking to the computer so much was because all my friends were in there.

I couldn't go out to hang with my friends because for a solid several years, I simply didn't have any that were close enough. Nobody at school liked me, really. I was spending most of my time at school waiting for it to be over.

I understand that if you're parenting two young teens and one of them is showing that they're very good at just sitting in their room quietly and that's actually what seems to be their preferred activity, it's hard to

1. see it as a problem,

2. do something about it,

also cus I was and am stubborn and struggle to ask for help and I've gotten sooooooo much better at this lately but as a teenager? no fucking chance you'd catch me ever asking for help. I was navigating the world the only way I knew how, which is to seek out friends and have fun with them, and for a long time online was the only place I could do that.

(So painful to remember and think about. I was the sweetest little kid all I wanted was to have friends. I didn't deserve the hell that high school put me through! I didn't deserve it one bit!)

I was & am disabled (arguably more so then than now, I have good coping skills and have structured my life to suit me, but at school I was just thrown about with very little idea of what was going on, or what would make it better) and I kinda wish my parents had recognised that even just a little bit

(But then they're both likely neurodivergent so I guess it was a bit of the old 'but everyone struggles with this' and 'this kid is like us and we are fine so they will be fine' not to mention that my parents both have their trauma and are on some levels Not Fine but let's not go into this too much)

It's gonna be so hard to talk about cus it'll bring out a lot of my mums internalised ableism and I don't really know what exactly I want out of this conversation. Maybe I just need them to know what was going on with me then, and what's going on with me now. Maybe I want to challenge my mum's ableist ideas and get her used to the idea of me as disabled (but still capable). Maybe we need to talk about how she still doesn't trust me as the highest authority on me, despite the fact that my parents and I only talk every couple months at a push. Maybe we need to talk about the fact that I am a very sensitive and highly emotional person and that I won't just "toughen up" like she did and I don't need to and I don't want to. But it would really make our relationship better if she recognised my feelings as part of me, for better or worse, and tried to work with me and my feelings rather than telling me not to have them.

Isn't it beautiful that I finally now feel safe and free enough to fully express my emotions in a way that my mother never could? It's sad, really, for her, so very fucking sad but I don't think my mum wants to be me: she's scared of her emotions, her anger, her grief and sadness and frustration. Probably even the loud, happy ones. Everything is clad in a layer of irony and tough guy act and she hasn't cried since she was 15.

I'm older than she was when she had me and I cry at least once a week on average, much more than that currently. I don't know how not to feel this much and I've had to radically embrace my full spectrum of emotions cus trying to suppress them like I did in school just left me stunted and hollow.

I would much rather feel everything! It makes me feel so alive. And I think that's what I need my mum to understand more than anything. I'm not scared of my emotions anymore so she doesn't have to be either.